#I WILL WORK AT YOUR DESTRUCTION
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zombolouge Ā· 2 months ago
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The thing is, it's not about the Therapy Speak. It's not that everyone who disliked DAV hates healthy communication as a dynamic in fiction. It's not even about only being allowed to be a good guy, really, because most of us did do that anyways (though the option not being there is a loss I grieve even if I never chose it myself, but that's another rant for another day).
It's that DAV does all that stuff at the expense of being believable. At the expense of characters being permitted to have personalities. At the expense of emotions behaving the way emotions actually work for people. At the expense of letting the plot build tension through the stakes we're forced to grapple with.
Half the fics out there take the conflicts between the characters in the previous games and resolve them. I do it myself ALL THE TIME because I like to find a path to resolution through just about any conflict, that's what fascinates me about telling these stories. But the higher the stakes, the harder a conflict is to resolve. You CAN resolve any conflict, you CAN communicate healthily through any emotion, but you can't skip the time it takes to process it all to even be able to communicate it. As someone whose got CPTSD and recovered from many Traumas, I can tell you that the TIME it takes to work through it is not something you can fast track, and the ups and downs of your emotions on that journey can't be skipped. It doesn't matter if you know exactly how to do it, exactly how it's going to feel, or exactly what the end state will be, you CAN'T speedrun it.
DAV has stakes that are astronomical, but nobody treats them that way. Nobody experiences denial - a common psychological reaction to being presented with information that shatters your worldview. Nobody expresses any distrust in the establishments handing out this information - something common among cultures that have at times been at war, even if those wars are "resolved" in the present. Nobody really ever breaks down - something that any person is capable of under extreme circumstances, especially when facing multiple crises of faith that challenge everything they thought they knew about themselves. Nobody blows their lid because they've been repressing the hell out of everything. Nobody grieves for southern Thedas, the entire thing dying off screen and giving you, the player, NO way to engage with it in any way.
Not to mention there are barely any inter-party conflicts, when there should be a lot more. Why is everyone (except Spite) fine with it if Emmrich sacrifices Manfred to become a lich? Why is everyone fine with Illario potentially being set free if he was working with the venatori and Elgar'nan, two sources that have actively attacked everyone in the party? Why doesn't Neve resent Lucanis if Treviso is picked? Why doesn't Harding get pissed off at Nevarra for having a secret society of liches that never helped during the Inquisition's war against the breach and corypheus? Why doesn't Harding feel ANYTHING about Ferelden and the rest of the south? Shouldn't Harding resent the fact that she's stuck in the north while her home dies?
All of these conflicts ARE resolvable, but not easily. And it's not believable that they're never brought up. It's not believable that these characters skip through everything that happens with like, barely a frowny face most of the time. In DAO, Alistair leaves if you don't treat his conflicts with respect. In DA2, your party members try to kill each other if you don't pay attention to their conflicts/emotional needs. In DAI, people can leave or betray you, Cassandra throws a chair at Varric and tries to body him out a window. ALL of these can be resolved but it takes effort, and the characters get to SHOW that they're bothered by them and struggling the way a person would when faced with those emotions.
The problem isn't the therapy speak, or that everyone is loyal and won't leave, or that they aren't mean to each other enough. It's that it's toxic positivity. It's toxic as fuck to imply that anger or grief should be smiled over or else you're giving up, and it's damaging to people to avoid engaging with their own negative emotional responses to extremely negative stimuli. It's pasting optimism over very real, very weighty issues, sweeping it all under the rug, and you keep waiting for the lid to blow off the pressure cooker that creates, but it never does. It never becomes anything that emulates real emotions, which is why the whole damn thing feels hollow. Everything's dying and nobody cares, not even about themselves, and that's NOT healthy communication.
It's bullshit, half-assed storytelling that didn't tell us the actual story, just the vague idea of what it could have been.
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sunderwight Ā· 1 year ago
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Bingqiu roleswap where disciple Shen Yuan knows he's gay, and figures out that he has a big huge crush on his handsome Shizun, but also concludes nearly at once that he's not going to be drawing Luo Binghe's eye any time soon. Firstly, Luo Binghe is notoriously straight. Secondly, even if he weren't, he wouldn't go for his scrawny untalented nerd of a disciple! Shen Yuan's not bad looking, not before or after transmigrating, but he's neither a beautiful nor a hot manly man, and he assumes if Luo Binghe were into dudes he'd be into the same kinds of twunks that Shen Yuan likes. Guys on his own level, etc etc.
Plus Luo Binghe hated the original disciple Shen, and only started to warm up to the transmigrated version after Shen Yuan got injured in front of him trying to stop the other disciples on the peak from killing a small animal. For some reason, Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan medicine. He got even nicer after Shen Yuan distracted the skinner demon by trying to convince it to take his skin instead of Luo Binghe's, and then again when Shen Yuan successfully fought off a demon invader -- though initially when Luo Binghe volunteered him for that job, he thought it was an assassination attempt. His heart was in his throat when Luo Binghe nearly took a poisoned blow for him, but luckily he reacted more quickly and got hit by the thorns instead. His heavenly demon blood took care of the poison, and he managed to convince everyone that he narrowly avoided getting cut at all.
Shen Yuan's careful not to read anything into it when Luo Binghe finds out about his, erm, uncomfortable dormitory situation and moves him into the side room, or when he completely messes up trying to make dinner and Luo Binghe takes over cooking and bans him from the kitchen (he swears he's not actually that bad at cooking, he just never had to use a kitchen without a microwave or an electric hot plate before...)
After all, it's not like Luo Binghe is cooking for him, he's just making food he likes and letting Shen Yuan eat it too! Because he's nice! He's way nicer than the book gave him credit for being, see, clearly Shen Yuan was correct in signing up for his defense squad, "top ten worst villains of all time" his ass that poll was nonsense...
Unfortunately, though, the plot's still gotta plot. Shen Yuan is heartbroken when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around and his shizun stabs him and throws him down into the Endless Abyss. Heartbroken, but not surprised. After all, it was always going to go this way, wasn't it?
But at least, now that it's done, he has some agency in how he reacts to it. He's changed the story enough that he doesn't need to go get revenge. Maybe Luo Binghe's still the villain of his story, maybe that was inevitable, but some heroes let the villains get away. Don't they? It's all part of that noble, breaking the cycle of abuse type stuff. He can be that kind of hero. He can let it go. As long as he avoids Luo Binghe altogether, it should be fine, right? It's not like he's obligated to turn people into human sticks. He asked the system, he's definitely not!
Technically he's not even required to conquer the demon realms. He just has to get out of the Abyss and the be sufficiently cool and/or tragic. Conquest is just one means of doing that, and not even Shen Yuan's preferred, since he doesn't exactly want to rule over anybody. Going around the demon realms beating up some jackasses and rescuing some damsels in distress and becoming sworn brothers with Shang Qinghua, one of the current demon kings, is suitable. He definitely doesn't want to marry any of the damsels he encounters (thank fuck the system lets him off the hook for that!)
But eventually he has to go back to the human world. Not only is it mandated by the system, but he also misses living there. The demonic realms are in many ways better than expected, plus a lot of the monsters are really cool, but he misses the weather and plants and the people he's more accustomed to being around.
He misses Qing Jing Peak, if he's being honest with himself. Shizun's cooking and the bamboo forest and the crisp mountain breezes, the comforts of home.
Not that he can actually go back there in specific. Of course not. If he did that, Luo Binghe would try to kill him, or else the system would try and make him kill Luo Binghe. Bad ideas all around. No, he can't go back to Qing Jing Peak, but he can go find someplace nicer than the demon realms at least. He just has to keep a low profile, which shouldn't be hard since the original goods did that even while actively scheming to kill his former master!
Except.
Everywhere he goes, suddenly Luo Binghe is also there?!
Good thing Shen Yuan thought to take a page out of the book of Luo Binghe's actual love interest, Liu Mingyan, and start wearing a veil. He just didn't want any randos who might have seen him at the Immortal Alliance Conference or on any of the other missions his shizun sent him on to recognize him. But one minute he's investigating a strange case in Jinlan City, and the next the streets are full of Huan Hua cultivators (Shen Yuan has no intention of joining them, that's the path the original took to getting revenge! He doesn't want revenge!), and then Luo Binghe and Sect Leader MBJ and Peak Lord SHL show up, and SY is ducking down alleys and hiding behind columns, just trying to stay out of the way until the lockdown on Jinlan lifts and he can leave.
Except...
Luo Binghe really isn't acting like himself?
He looks like he hasn't been eating or sleeping well. There are dark circles around his eyes, and something almost melancholy in his countenance. And he's dressed entirely in white, none of the usual Qing Jing greens and blues anywhere to be seen. Of even greater concern, he's being reckless. Shen Yuan can't stop himself from rushing out when he sees his former shizun get infected by a sower demon.
Luckily, it's been some years since the last time they saw one another. Shen Yuan's gained a few inches in height, so he's almost at eye-level with his old master now, and though he's still more slender than bulky he's picked up some totally new styles from training the demon realms. He doesn't move the same way he used to. With that, plus the veil, it's enough for him to quickly swallow back his words as he grabs Luo Binghe and quickly administers a cure for the sower infection.
Well, he has one of course. He wouldn't need it himself, heavenly demon blood and all, but his time running around playing hero in the demon realms meant he rescued a lot of humans from such fates. Which is hard to do if you don't have a cure to their afflictions, but between him and Shang Qinghua, sourcing such things was almost easy.
Luo Binghe looks at him like he's just seen a ghost. The other Cang Qiong sect members are alarmed by SY suddenly accosting one of their own and of course find him suspicious, so he runs away right after, and then he has to lose Sha Hualing's pursuit in the city.
But what else could he do? He manages to evade the system's attempts to railroad him into meeting Gongyi Xiao, avoids the rest of the Cang Qiong crowd, and drops some of the cure through the current Qian Cao peak lord's window to get the incident sorted out. Then he flees and puts a good amount of distance between himself, Jinlan City, and every righteous sect he can think of.
The only problem is that after this point, Luo Binghe is everywhere.
Any time Shen Yuan stays in one place for longer than a few days, Qing Jing disciples start turning up. Any time he takes a job hunting some cool-sounding monster or pursuing some interesting tome of knowledge, the better to satisfy the system, it seems like Luo Binghe has selected and gone after the exact same target! Which is especially annoying because back when SY was a disciple, Luo Binghe was always assigning him to do this stuff. Since when does his chronic homebody master have an interesting in six-tailed scorpion lemurs or ancient spiritual kilns?
What's weirder, though, are the rumors.
It seems like any time SY stops at some well-populated place and asks for the latest gossip, he has to hear about how the Qing Jing peak lord lost his beloved disciple during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and mourned like a widow, and now wanders the earth in search of solace for his grief. Seeking something, possibly even the ghost of his dear disciple.
What nonsense! Luo Binghe threw SY into the Abyss himself. He had to do it, it was the plot! And also his obligation as a righteous cultivator, confronted with a "dangerous" half-demon. Does it sting? Yes it stings! That's why SY wouldn't just forget it! Despite logically knowing it's pointless, is there some part of him that wishes his master would have chosen differently? That thinks he should have known that no matter what kind of power Shen Yuan had, he would never use it to hurt people recklessly, or harm innocents, or especially not harm... well. It's pointless, his blood condemned him, and if there is some part of Luo Binghe which regrets what happened, it's doubtless just that he unwittingly harbored a monster for so long.
Which is fine and Shen Yuan would leave it at that, if the guy would just let him!
But no. Instead he has to deal with Luo Binghe turning up and asking him questions, trying to get him to talk (SY has no hope of disguising his voice, if he says anything he's not even sure it won't crack as he comes perilously close to tears instead, so he just stays silent), and then asking for his name, asking if he's mute, asking about his background, his sect, his kin. Is his a righteous cultivator? Where did he get that sword? (NOT Xin Mo, thanks, he used that thing once and then tossed it back into the Abyss before the portal finished closing behind him -- he knows a poisoned chalice when he sees one, although knowing the plot twist about that sword from the novel sure helped.) Where did he learn those forms? Is he... does he have a safe place to go home to? Someone to tend his injuries? Make sure he eats his meals?
SY, of course, stays silent. But it's difficult. Not only because Luo Binghe asks, but because he still looks... bad. Sunken, sorrowful, desperate almost. Shen Yuan can't figure out if he knows or not. Maybe he's unsure, maybe he's looking for SY to give him a sign, so that he can figure him out and then flip a switch and try to finish the job he started.
That can't happen. If they fight, SY will win, and he doesn't want to hurt Luo Binghe.
But even if Luo Binghe's not a heavenly demon, he is a highly accomplished cultivator, and it seems he's got his own breaking points to reach. Eventually he corners SY and gets a hand on his veil, and for a moment SY is sure he's going to rip it off, see his face, and confront him all "I knew it was you, you twisted evil demon, you won't escape justice a second time" and he feels a deep, icy terror close around his lungs--
Luo Binghe lets go of the veil before he can lift it.
But then something even worse happens. Because Shen Yuan's handsome, peerless, noble master breaks down. He falls to his knees, begging forgiveness, sobbing, clutching at his head like he's being driven to madness.
It all spills out of him, then. How he pushed his own dearest disciple into the Abyss, which obviously SY already knew, but also how he was apparently qi-deviating the whole time, and his senses could not differentiate between one kind of demonic "threat" and another. How he realized what he'd done only after he regained his senses hours later, and rushed back to the place where the tear to the Abyss had opened, but could not find a way in after the one he lost. How he had betrayed and thrown away the only person who cared about him, and couldn't even explain that he hadn't intended to. How he would accept anything, any punishment, hatred, penance, or revenge, if only he could see his disciple's face once more.
SY is stunned.
Apparently, Luo Binghe hadn't rejected him for his demon blood?
Not only that, but beforehand, he seemed to have valued Shen Yuan a lot more than Shen Yuan would have credited.
Is it a trick? Is he lying? SY would have guessed so, would have assumed that Luo Binghe's plan was to lull him into complacency only to turn on him once he finally had confirmation. But somehow, he just... doesn't think this is an insincere display. His old master is too cool for this stuff! He has too much dignity to just throw it away on a scheme! There are other ways to get what he wants.
Even if it is a lie, Shen Yuan is tired of running. He's the hero. He won't actually lose, and if it comes to it, it's still in his hands to decide if he wants to spare Luo Binghe or not (he does, of course he does, even if this whole spiel is an act). Plus he's got a backup plant body in one of Shang Qinghua's greenhouses if all goes to shit.
He takes the veil off himself.
Luo Binghe, teary-eyed, stares at him as if his face is the most beautiful he's ever seen.
Shen Yuan nearly puts the veil back on. His cheeks heat up. Dear Shizun, aren't you an immortal master? A noble peak lord? Isn't it your calling to vanquish demons? Get up off the dirty ground right this minute! Where did your dignity go? Shen Yuan did not spend all those nights doing the laundry to watch his teacher dirty his knees for no good reason!
There's a quaver in Luo Binghe's voice as he points out that Shen Yuan was terrible at doing laundry. Luo Binghe had to redo it the day after, all the time.
Shen Yuan chides at him that he should have made one of the other disciples do it then.
Luo Binghe just laughs, and stays on the ground, until finally Shen Yuan has to physically pull him up. Muttering about how he's being ridiculous, what's he crying for, why's he been moping so much, doesn't he know that handsome face should never look so bereft? Then he realizes what he's saying and shuts his mouth, but Luo Binghe just looks happy for the first time in years. Since the Abyss. How is it possible that SY, who actually had to slog through that awful place, can still smile more than Luo Binghe, who didn't?
They're standing so close. Holding on to one another. Almost as if... as if the scene's tone is... well...
Oh what the hell!
Shen Yuan closes the last little bit of distance between them, and kisses Luo Binghe.
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#long post#of course the plot probably interferes further then#turns out that while luo binghe was desperately trying to get sy back he accidentally woke up sy's father#who for this au let's say is sj instead of tlj#sj does NOT approve of this match and also hates all the righteous cultivators (and demons... and everyone mostly...)#but he is also busy trying to resurrect yqy or something#kidnaps sy like well I missed the chance to raise you and actually that's probably for the best but now I need your blood#for Reasons#luo binghe is not a fan of this turn of events#reverse holy mausoleum arc when SY is mostly unconscious except to sometimes throw out advice and LBH is dodging traps and villains#the pining-over-the-dead-shizun arc is probably AFTER the holy mausoleum and lbh self-destructs to rescue sy from sj's plans#sy refuses to accept this outcome he decided luo binghe was NOT to die he didn't need a redemption arc he was FINE sy DECIDED#but luckily they're in the holy mausoleum so sy grabs a resurrection artifact of some kind#has to spend a few years restoring and maintaining lbh's corpse before he can get the to actually work but it's fine#he's fine everything's fine he's GOING to get lbh back lbh is NOT ALLOWED TO DIE#luckily unhinged sy results in way less collateral damage than unhinged lbh#so mostly he just fights off mbj's attempts to honorably recover his shidi's body and offer him a proper burial#while camping out in the holy mausoleum and arguing with sj's detached body parts#y'know normal healthy behavior
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nellasbookplanet Ā· 1 month ago
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Just started watching ep. 118 (yes I know I'm behind, I've been busy playing Prey and writing essays on Octavia Butler with life) and in listening to Ludinus' monologue I had a thought about a specific disconnect that cause many, in universe as well of out of it, to view the gods as tyrants. Imogen points it out when Ludinus laments about his family being collateral damage in the battle between the Lawbearer and the Crawling King: would he rather the Crawling King have been unleashed on the world to wreak havoc uncontested? (to which his response was a long silence and glaring at her)
Itā€™s an inability to understand and accept the true scale and nuance the gods operate on, and in doing so choosing to place individual suffering and slights over ultimate consequences that may, and often do, affect the entire world. Yes itā€™s horrible that the gods struck down Aeor - but they were defending themselves against a weapon of mass destruction, and any other action would have been akin to lining themselves up to be shot. Yes it sucks that the Titans, who were there first, were killed - but they were trying to exterminate all mortals. Yes the deaths during the Calamity were unforgivable - but the alternative would've been to let the Betrayers kill everyone. Yes itā€™s horrible that the primes wouldnā€™t let their champions oppose Lolth in taking Opal - but they are in the middle of a battle for the world in which all hands are needed, and losing champions to a minor skirmish when they want the same thing would be pointless. Yes itā€™s unfair that the gods wonā€™t personally step in and help every little person suffering, such as Ashton and Laudna - but they're literally gods responsible for the lives and afterlives of millions, and also separated by the Divine Gate, which was literally erected to protect mortals from the fallout of too much divine meddling.
When pressed, Ludinus switches to saying that it isn't the collateral itself that is the problem, but that the gods wonā€™t personally remember and beg forgiveness for every single life lost. In saying this, he also claims that he is different - but is he? Does he honor the lives of Orym's family? The children tortured under Trent and other suffering caused by the Cerberus Assembly? The thousands lost in the war between the Empire and the Dynasty because he wanted his own beacon? The entire city of Molaesmyr? Does he even remember the many individuals indoctrinated into his cult and lost in the ensuing battle?
In the end, it isn't about collateral, or honoring those sacrificed. It's that he finds his suffering uniquely bad, and his goals uniquely warranted. Only HE (and people who want the same exact thing as him) has the right to make desicions that affect all of Exandria.
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super-nova5045 Ā· 10 months ago
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sylvia plath, todd anderson and virginia woolf (aka ACTUAL tortured poets) watching taylor ā€œim breaking up with my boyfriend for his intense depression and blaming it on him, im dating a racist who enjoys watching woc being brutalized and harasses young woc artists, i sent my fans out on a hate train to attack a young woc actress for a line she had to say as part of her job to show how mentally ill her character was, im dating a maga supporter, i refuse to say anything about a current genocide despite being the most influential person in the world right now, i am a billionaire, i fly 13 minute flights and have the highest carbon emission of any celebrity, i am a known white feminist who only speaks about issues when it affects me and has constantly let my fans get away with extreme racism and even encouraged it by associating myself with known racistsā€ swift call herself a tortured poet (her writing sounds like a bunch of thesaurus words slapped over gabba hanna and rupi kaur-esque poetry that was created purely as a trinket for an edgy pinterest board)
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moeblob Ā· 2 months ago
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No fun allowed.
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rocketqueen1989x Ā· 5 months ago
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Teddy bear
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SlashXreader
(A short one)
warnings : fluff
šŸ“: LA
ā°:10:00pm
1990
***
The sound of the rain hit the bedroom window heavily as me and my boyfriend laid on our shared king size bed. His dark beautiful soft curls brushed through my fingers.
Slash was next to me just laying there soundly with his head on my chest. little snores escaped his lips.
he looked adorable. i could see his full face since I brushed back all of his dark curls and, he looked so peaceful. His long skinny and tatted arm was over my waist hugging me tightly towards him. one of his legs was over mine and my other leg was over his
we were proper snuggled into each other. he felt like a big teddy bear. he was so warm and my face mushed into his big bush of curls. He smelt so good. I could smell my vanilla and coconut shampoo in his hair
The room was very dim and a candle was just one of the lights in the room. The tv was in the corner and playing some shitting documentary about nurses delivery this baby
nothing else was the tv at all. boring as fuck
i looked down at my boyfriend with a soft expression on my face. He moved his head lightly and moved his face more up. I could see him more better now
his link plumped lips were almost in a pout. his black lashes were so so long. Iā€™m actually quite jealous of his lashes
his face structure was so good. his eye brows were a little bushy at the start but got thinner towards the tails. at the end of his brow. his smooth tanned skin looked so beautiful as the candle flickered onto his skin every now and then
Slash was still in his clothes from band rehearsals. He had on his black shorts and old shirt.
Slash came around 2 hours ago and the first thing he did was lay down next to me and fell asleep. I didnā€™t even get to ask how it was or anything. he only asked me how my day went , I told him and boom
he was flat out. since then I have been watching this documentary on the tv. His guitar case was at the end of the bed still were he had left it just near our tangled feet
And one thing about slash ā€¦
he sleeps like fucking log! heā€™s such a deep sleeper. Once this dude is asleep ā€¦heā€™s asleep for good
and he weighs like a brick when he sleeps too which always comes in handy if youā€™re desperate for a piss or gotta go answer the door
i smiled softly looking down at my lover. he looked so cute
my fingers traced along his jaw stroking gently and slowly. ā€œMhmmmā€ slash groaned sleepily and I leaned down pecking his cheek
ā€œso beautifulā€ I whispered moving to his lips and gently pecking them.
ā€œI love you so much , so so much ā€œ I whispered on his cheek and his scent filled my nose. I could smell and hint of cigarettes on him. Of course
another hint of his aftershave and the smell of my shampoo also lingered around him. My finger twirled around lock of his curl on the back of head and he seemed to be enjoying it
Slash let out a little long breath from his parted lips while he done that he moved his face deeper into my tits.
ā€œmy beautiful boy ā€œ i softly but most quietly whispered to him.
i love this man so much. Iā€™m so in love with him and heā€™s all mine
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ushas42 Ā· 10 months ago
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metanarrates Ā· 2 months ago
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in some ways this is true + a beautiful way for kdj to help yjh in a way that only he ever could, but this is still another instance of kdj removing himself from the situation and firmly placing himself in the role of reader and yoo joonghyuk in the role of character. while this does solve the present issue (yjh's identity crisis brought about by insecurity and fear at kdj continually killing himself) it actually exacerbates the core issue in their relationship - yjh desperately wants an equal companion, but kdj keeps hiding behind the fourth wall and keeps removing himself from yjhs life. even his act of help creates a certain distance between them because he doesn't treat them as being on the same level. he doesn't think he can save anyone because he doesn't exist in the same world as everyone else.
at the end of the day, kdj still is not treating yjh's feelings of care towards him as valid, and not understanding that issues like this will keep cropping up as long as kdj keeps engaging in self sacrificial and emotionally distancing behavior. one issue down! one gigantic rift still widening!
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lunarharp Ā· 1 year ago
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"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like ā€œSure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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lord-squiggletits Ā· 1 year ago
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Sometimes I think about how Pharma spent a good 4 million years being next in line after Ratchet, performing medical miracles like 4 way organ transplants, and doing cutting edge research such as documenting the first age-related death of a Cybertronian, only for the situation at Delphi to destroy all of that and get the Autobots treating him like living scum.
Like damn you'd think such a level of loyalty to the cause and dedication to your craft would at least give you a few mourners or people asking "what happened to cause such a radical change" but I guess for Pharma it just ended with him being completely abandoned by the ppl he was loyal to for years.
In fairness the Lost Light is just a random cruise ship of Autobot misfits and not an actual military organization with any kind of authority, but it's still sad lol.
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dreadbornesaint-moved Ā· 8 months ago
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ĖšŹš starter for @maskednihilism ɞĖš
Thereā€™s something she needs help with, that matter itself is fairly simple. She could figure it out on her own given enough time, but sheā€™d rather save time by employing the assistance of someone else. And she just so happened to hear of a person that may be able to assist and after some searching seems to have found the person sheā€™s seeking. Indeed, he seems to match the description she had been given. Well, as the situation remains, there is but one thing left to do.Ā 
Since she's making a request, she ought to make a pleasant expression. She spots her targetā€“ahem, future associateā€“and strides over confidently, with the grace and gallantry of a military commander. Beryl reminds herself that she should do her best to make a good impression. Ah, yes, a smile should do nicely. Thus a smile graces her face, though perhaps it is not nearly as disarming as she hopes.Ā 
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ā€œAre you perhaps the one known as Sampo?ā€
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eyecolour-of-insanity Ā· 6 months ago
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"cringe culture is dead so I'm allowed to post my fantasies about minors"
Bitch what the fuck that's a whole new sentence no the fuck you goddamn aren't
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i-maj-ine Ā· 3 months ago
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...oh no... I've found my old favorite tokyovania remix... Oh no.. OH NOOO--!
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nellasbookplanet Ā· 7 months ago
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The fandom god discussion is interesting, but I feel itā€™s sometimes hindered by an unwillingness to separate gods from mortal society, or even a sort of over-eagerness to project our own reality onto them, which simply doesnā€™t work. I've seen the gods referred to as rulers or tyrants demanding worship (which I kinda understand because itā€™s something Ludinus says in-game, though itā€™s funny to see fandom corners confidently repeat the inaccurate talking points of the antagonist) but more interestingly I've also seen them referred to as a higher/the highest social class, as colonizers imposing themselves on mortals, the raven queen specifically as new money. Overall these comparisons tend to talk about the gods and their actions regarding Aeor in the past and predathos/the Vanguard in the present less as if they're about saving their own lives and more as if they want to preserve their powerful position.
The gods, by their very nature, are above mortals. They cannot be compared to any mortal ruling class because they didnā€™t choose or strive for that power and cannot feasibly get rid of it/step down/redistribute it (nor do they actually in any sense rule; killing the raven queen, unlike killing an actual queen, will not end the 'tyranny' of death), they simply have it by virtue of being gods. Saying thatā€™s unfair or unequal and that the gods should be killed because of it is akin to saying itā€™s unfair a mountain is bigger than you and demanding it be levelled, except the gods, unlike mountains, are living, feeling beings who shouldnā€™t have to die because some people canā€™t stand the idea of not always being top dog. Thing is, the gods themselves ultimately understood this power imballance and that they can't help but hurt Exandria the way humans can't help but step on bugs, and thus removed themselves from the equation by creating the divine gate. Saying this isnā€™t enough and that they're clinging to power is just demanding they line themselves up to be killed.
#critical role#cr3#downfall#nella talks cr#ultimately all these 'ruling class' comparisons are simply flawed and donā€™t work when under the slightest bit of scrutiny#gods arent rulers or tyrants bc they donā€™t rule and can't be deposed#they are representantations and guardians of (mostly natural) concepts#and those concepts wonā€™t go away bc you killed the gods. death and nature and the fucking sun will still remain#they arenā€™t colonizers of mortals (wtf lmao) who demand they be worshiped and mortals live according to their oppressive rule#again did you watch calamity? not even before the divine gate did the gods demand worship or even respect#they were never less respected than during the age of arcanum and still they were just chilling#(until someone released the betrayers and they had to step in to stop the ultimate destruction of exandria)#technically you could argue they were colonizers against the titans but even that feels like a stretch#the titans to me feel less like people and more like representations of the chaotic and deathly side of nature#being angry they were killed sounds like being angry someone stopped a hurricane just bc the hurricane was there first#I'm sorry but that hurricane would've flattened you. it wouldnā€™t appreciate your support bc it isn't a person#and 'a higher social class' fucking NEW MONEY? this is just blatant projection#I'm sorry but not everything more powerful than you is a stand in for oppression#sometimes itā€™s a narrative stand in for nature and i promise nature isn't oppressing you
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abyssalpriest Ā· 5 months ago
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Usual "what others do isn't my business, my blogs are diaries and I'm allowed to have thoughts without telling others what to do" disclaimer
I'm getting so irritated for personal reasons (building storm, memories, personal disagreements with how this time and place in history treats gods, etc) with the lack of connection the average most connected people have to gods nowadays. I feel like at some point if you want to connect with, bond with, Lev and make him a part of your life you should at least once do trancework dances with him, or some other means of total body possession or an attempt at it and/or merging consciousness and eyes briefly
Hes such a hands on god and to an extent he will mirror you, less in terms of his nature being mirroring but more so because he will put in what you put in. If you give him distant love and distant channelling, treating him like the moon: something you know always has an effect on the waters of your life and something you revere but rarely see and keep in the distant sky... you'll get that. You'll get him directing you and stepping in like a stern and - examples don't matter honestly. Lev will pretty much always be cordial and roleplay the god you want in your life, but at the end of the day you'll always just be serving a distant purpose if you just set up an altar and keep him distant with distancing prayers
To actually bond with him... Things like drums and dancing, actually understanding That Which Makes The Waters Dance, actually understanding the Lord of Consciousness as ever-permeating... If you want to understand him you need to feel him, because he understands through feeling and being. Take a session of intense drumming and throwing yourself into a trance to actually understand the way he makes your body move, to feel the waters of your own body - blood, cerebrospinal fluid, semen, tears, saliva, whatever you have inside you - flow and move into place. Understand the mind of the Sky itself
Take something guided by him - theres so many reasons he's heavily associated with cannabis and alcohol - move yourself into his sphere, cross the boundaries between you. Throw yourself into the black of the sky and you'll find it's water.
There's so many things that forge actual bond with him. The Earth-Shaker doesn't move the Earth in Christian-esque rituals of praying to hollow temples and ringing gentle bells, he's the force that aligns your blood flow with beats in music, the beat itself, he's the drumming of hooves across the earth that tear into it and reorganise it, the wild horses that eat flesh alongside the wolves, the black dogs seeping through the veins in creation, the animal awareness peaking like bloodlust in the rutting deer... You absolutely can sit there meeting him in fancy robes in front of an altar where he commands you like a father or a god-husband but... again. i suggest anyone looking to actually work with him has at least one moment where the Sun itself burns a hole through your ignorance (ignorance is something we all have, we all wear) and shines its blinding light on your consciousness so that you have an atemporal space of connection to him from then on
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kismetconstellations Ā· 5 months ago
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Sendak's voice taunting Shiro about the two of them being "connected" when contextualized with the heavy implication that Sendak sexually violated Shiro, makes me want to retch.
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