round-my-way

[charlotte-queen-owl]

Y'all wouldn't BELIEEEVE me if I told you which one of these losers is God and God's little Champion.

[pies-writes-and-more]

things they do when they love you

Characters: Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei, Tanaka Ryūnosuke, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kozume Kenma, Tendō Satori, & Ushijima Wakatoshi, all with a Fem!Reader

Warnings: literally nothing - pure fluff <3

A/N: sorry for the lack of content lately! I’ve been super busy with work and school and I feel myself starting to get selfconscious of my work again so I’m hoping I can break through the writers block it comes with! Hope you enjoy! Also thank you to @thisnoodlewritesao3​ and @satan-ruler-of-hells​ for listening to me talk about this fic probably a million times lol

haikyuu masterlist

Kageyama is awkward with telling you how he feels so he just tries to give you things to show you. like you mentioned once you liked the protein bar that Coach gave you guys and now he bought every single one of them from the store and is bringing it to your house. Oh did you say you liked milk too? Well I guess he’ll just have to bring you the whole fucking vending machine. Just wants to show he will provide you with all the things you love, pls love him back. I feel like he’d also be bugging his older sister all the time - asking her all sorts of questions about girls. She’s the reason your first date wasn’t at a volleyball game (and also the reason why he no longer thinks your first date was the first time you attended his games. “Tobio, a date is supposed to be where the two of you are hanging out together.” “But.... we are together. She’s watching me play.” “.... somewhere where your whole team and the whole of the Miyagi prefecture isn’t!”)

Tsukishima will let you pamper him lol. He likes the attention so when you’re doing face masks, he’ll like look through them and ask you questions about them. Sometimes it comes off as he’s judging you for spending money on this stuff but he’s really just waiting for you to ask if he wants to try one. You bought a dino face mask specifically for him but you thought he’d laugh at you if you asked. So you just kept it with the rest of your sheet masks. You’re putting one on one day and he’s like …. is that a dinosaur. And you’re like…. no? And immediately he’s like well now I have to have it please show me how to put this one. Lol cut to: it does nOT look like a dinosaur (have yall seen those ones that’s supposed to like look like a penguin or lion or something and just looks psychotic??? yeah that). He still likes it and even lets you take a picture of his first face mask cause you just look so happy that you’re doing it with him. It becomes a ritual and any time you’re doing face masks, he’ll do it with you and you just spill all the tea to him about shit you’ve heard at work or school and he just listens and aggressively calls everyone stupid  lol

Tanaka aggressively praises you non stop but like in a good way haha. Did you just post a photo on instagram? He’s liked it first, commented a thousand different things about how he loves your outfit and your expression and how you’re the light of his life, and then he sHARES the photo to his story and is like look at how pretty my girlfriend is yall wish this was you. Oh did you just get a good grade at school??? Non stop bragging to his teammates about how he’s dating a genius (“I mean anyone’s a genius compared to you” “Tsukishima that is NO WAY TO TALK TO YOUR UPPERCLASSMAN YOU ASSHOLE”). If you’re feeling upset about something, he’ll comfort you and all but also tell you that you’re such a badass you could handle anything. And it’s not like empty compliments either - he genuinely believes that you are the most amazing human being to ever walk the planet

Yamaguchi (okay I got this idea partially from @/paige.ipairs on tiktok but it’s so cute that i had to put it here) likes doing anything with you so he likes it when you’re out shopping and you help him pick a new outfit or you style something for him. But his favourite thing is when you’re painting your nails and he’s like … that’s a nice colour… and you’re like Yamaguchi would you like… your nails painted? And at first it’s just the one finger and it’s a matching colour with you. Like on his ring finger to symbolize he’s with you but then soon he’s with you at the mall looking at different colours and picks out one’s he would like for you to paint for him and he just carries them over to you like .. o.o pls

Kenma will actively look for 2 player games that he can play with you. He’ll pretend like it’s nothing and that he just wants to try the game for the 1 player story but he’ll leave a controller out and just kind waits for you to ask to play or pick up the controller. He really likes it when you play, even if you wander around a lot and aren’t super focused on the story line. Minecraft with the two of you is always fun. He thinks it’s really funny how aggressive you get trying to save your animals from the zombies even though they won’t get hurt. You teared up once cause the pen you made for your chickens got blown up by a Creeper and he actually felt so bad even though you told him it was definitely not his fault. Cut to: you screaming aggressively when it comes to any Creeper as revenge for the chickens who were lost in the battle.

Tendō starts reading your favourite mangas and watches all of your favourite series/movies before you two really started dating because he wanted to know what to talk to you about. But now that you guys are together, he’ll plan dates where you can binge-watch all of your favourite movies/shows or just lie around and trade mangas (you had this man actually crying at some of them, he wasn’t ready for the hURT). If you’re not the biggest fan of horror films, he’ll insist that you guys don’t need to watch them but he loves when you stick it out with him cause it means extra cuddles and more snacks as comfort! If you do love horror films, he’ll always buy tickets to the new movies so the two of you can watch it together right away.

Ushijima will hold you no matter where you guys are. Big beefy boy doesn’t really understand why he wouldn’t hold you, even if you guys were in public. When you guys first started dating, you’d avoid reaching out for his hand because you figured big stoic guy like Ushijima, he wouldn’t really be a PDA kind of guy would he? Wrong. Well right, but also wrong. Boy probably doesn’t even realize what PDA is but he’ll reach for your hand and hold it anytime. And if you guys are waiting in line somewhere, he’ll just hold you in his arms in front of him. He has no sense of when not to do this. It’s like you’re his comfort person (which you are). In front of his Coach? Suddenly has you in front of him, hugging you to him. Being interviewed by some reporters? Oh look, you’re here too. Reminding Oikawa that he should’ve come to Shiratorizawa? You’re right in front sticking your tongue out at the Aoba Josai boi like the child you are lol. Honestly, he doesn’t think it’s weird but he knows deep down that he’s just really scared you’ll leave. He likes knowing you’re around because it reminds him you’re always there. 

Haikyuu taglist (let me know if you’d like to join!)

@al0ehas​ @aurumk​ @devilkittymusic​ @thisnoodlewritesao3​ @satan-ruler-of-hells​ @trashy-simp​ @jeppiet​ @lucyheartfilias-wife​ @darkvadeeer​ @haikyuutothetop​ @livy384​ @babyshoyo​

[teddy06writes]

A Day In The Life

requesred by this genius anon: “Aight imma hit you with a good one: Literally everything as platonic, but a day in the life of reader in high school with the minor gang (too my, tubbo, ranboo) and all the faculty at the school are dreamsmp members”

Platonic! Minors gang (tommy, tubbo, ranboo and purpled) x reader

trigger warnings: none

premise: a day in the life of a student at the DSMP public high school 

{with all the shit that goes on the smp there's no way it could be anything but a public school}

{also if I do things slightly off or something its cause my high school is weird, we only have four blocks a day, but I think most have seven, so we’re going with that}

{also the dream/george thing, is based on two of the sciences teachers at my school being suspected of having an affiar}

{Full teacher list:

English: Mr. NotFound

Drama: Mr. Soot

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

Gym: Coach Sapnap and Coach Punz

Home ec: Miss Nihachu

Music: Mr. Quackity

Chemistry: Mr. Halo}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Home room: Mr. Callahan

You sighed, trudging toward the school entrance, god it was way to early for this. 

The halls were already crowded with people heading to there home rooms, and Mr. Minecraft, the principal, was standing outside the admin offices, greeting everyone with a smile. 

“Good morning, (y/n).” 

“Good morning Mr. Minecraft.” You grumbled as you passed. 

You hurried through the foyer and up the stairs, toward Mr. Callahan’s room. 

“Hey!” Tubbo called, hurrying down the hallway, “(y/n)!”

“Hey Tubbo.” you yawned.

He fell into step with you, “You think Callahan will actually show today?” 

The one good thing about your home room teacher is that none of the kids ever seemed to have seen him. It meant that some days, while other home rooms had lectures of bullying or something, your class got to hang out for 30 minutes. 

“I don’t think he even exists.” Purpled said, falling in on your other side. 

“He definitely doesn’t.” You agreed. 

~~

History: Mr. Blade

“Hey (y/n)!” Ranboo called from his seat at the front of the room as you came in. 

He was lucky enough to have moved homerooms and ended up getting the same room as his first block. 

“Hello Ranboo.” you sighed, sitting down in your seat next to him. 

Tommy came in and plopped down behind you, “Well you sound like shit.”

“No swearing in my classroom, Tommy.” Mr. Blade chided, hardly looking up from the book on his desk. 

You turned to look at Tommy, “It’s too early for this.” 

“You say that everyday!” He laughed. 

“Yeah! Cause this class starts at 7:45 in the god damn morning!” You half exclaimed. 

“Bloody hell you’d think you’d get used to it-” 

“Tommy, what did I say about swearing?” Mr. Blade cut Tommy off. 

“But you didn’t yell at (y/n)!” Tommy yelled, “That’s not fair Tech!” 

Me. Blade glared at his brother, “Do you want me to send you down to Phil’s office Tommy?” 

“I didn’t even do anything!”

After a moment under Mr. Blades glare, Tommy sighed, “Please don’t send me down to Phil.” 

The teacher didn’t respond, instead standing up and moving to stand in front of the board, queuing up the intro slides for the day, “All right everyone, settle down. Today in our ‘tour of the ancient world’ or whatever, we’re going to start our mini unit on Greece.”

~~

Statistics/Math: Mr. Was Taken

After a class that ended mostly in a rant about the myth of Heracles, you said goodbye to Ranboo and Tommy and met up with Purpled to head to math. 

Mr. Wastaken was already passing out the notes when you two got there, sliding into your seats at the back of the classroom just as the bell rang. 

“You’re late.” He chided, dropping the papers onto your desk, then Purpleds. 

“Purp needed to refill his water bottle.” You explained. 

“Seriously?” Mr. Wastaken questioned, “Dude, it’s second block, why the hell was your water already empty?” 

Purpled shrugged, “P.E?” 

“Ehh, wrong, Sapnap doesn’t have you till sixth period.” 

“Stairs... are murder man.” He fumbled. 

You nodded, “First floor to the fourth floor is tough Mr. Wastaken.” 

Rolling his eyes, the teacher moved back to the front of the room, “Alright, last nights homework was a bit of a flop so we’ll be more review for the quiz tomorrow.” 

You groaned internally, pulling out your pencil. 

Purpled nodded, “I fuckin hate review days.” 

“I can hear you, you know!” Mr. WasTaken half yelled. 

~~

Chemistry: Mr. Halo

After Math you and Purpled headed down to the science hall to meet back up with Tubbo to head to Chem. 

“Welcome back everybody!” Mr. Halo greeted cheerily, “Good to see smiling faces for chemistry!” 

How he managed to stay so upbeat, no one would ever know.

You sat down at your lab table with Tubbo, “You think we actually make it to doing the lab today before he starts talking about Mr. Skeppy again?” 

“Oh no chance.” 

You chuckled, pulling out your notebook as Mr. Halo pulled up the opening review before the lab. 

Twenty minutes later found you elbow deep in the lab, quite literally. 

“It was supposed to just be a small scale elephants toothpaste!” Mr. Halo cried. 

Purpled grinned, “You should’ve taken my wildcard factor into account sir.” 

You laughed, wiping the foam off your apron (thank god for lab aprons), “That was brilliant!” 

A few minutes earlier, Tubbo had helped him do out the math to scale up the experiment by 20%, and you had willingly given up your own materials to help.

Now most of the classroom was covered in the foam, and Purpled and the girl who had been unfortunate enough to be partnered with him were knee deep in it. 

“I sent the video to the groupchat.” Tubbo whispered.

“Good.” You chuckled again. 

Mr. Halo groaned, “You three start cleaning this up, Elizabeth, dear, why don’t you join a different group.”

“I volunteer to switch with her!” Drista yelled, “they look like fun!” 

Mr. Halo sighed, “No- no absolutely not- I can’t deal with you added to the mix.” 

Drista pouted, the rest of the class went back to there work, and you, Tubbo and Purpled began to clean up the foam. 

~~

Drama: Mr. Soot

As Purpled left for his history class, you and tubbo headed twoard the music/performing arts suit, where you met up with Ranboo. 

“Tommy said he wished he could’ve been there to see the foam.” Ranboo reported as Tubbo peeled off into the band room, and you both continued on to the green room. 

“Hello, Hello, Hello!” Mr. Soot greeted in an aussie accent (you know the one). 

“Oh god please say were not doing accents today.” Ranboo muttered. 

Mr. Soot laughed, “Nah, we’re going to do some more rounds of improv.” 

“Oh thank god.” You said as you moved to take a seat at one of the side tables. 

“That would have been hell.” Ranboo agreed. 

More people poured into the room, take seats all around as Mr. Soot began to dig through on of the closets. 

As the bell rang he let out a triumphant cheer, turning around and brandishing a very large bowl of paper slips, “I found the prompts!” 

“Oh dear lord.” Ranboo muttered.

“Mr. Soot can we please do like, anything else?” You asked, “Like scenes, or hell I’d even take monologues, you know we’re all shit at improv!” 

The teacher sighed, “I suppose we could do something else. I guess we can begin our next topic, you’re all going to be assigned scenes and given time to practice them, we’ll present on Friday!” 

The entire class breathed a sigh of relief that you had managed to change his mind. 

~~ English: Mr. NotFound 

After a very chaotic lunch full of Tubbo retelling a bunch of jokes Mr. Quackity had told during music,  you trudged off to the one class that didn’t have any of your main group of friends in. 

The one good thing about having Mr. NotFound as a teacher was that he had no clue what he was doing. 

More often then not you would be left to do essays or read the required books, and then watch the movies that went along with them.

And, just your luck, your English block happened to take place during Mr. Wastaken’s prep period. 

“Right, everyone, today’s a work day, finish up anything you need to for this class, or another, and I’ll put on a movie.” Mr. NotFound said as soon as everyone was seated. 

Ten minutes into the movie the teacher had left, and you pulled up the group chat.

(y/n): Mr. NotFound has yet again suspiciously left during class. 

Purp: sus

Purp: just went by WasTaken’s room

Purp: he’s not there

BooBoy: I saw him down in the science hall ten minutes ago

BeEs: Science hall is oposite to English isn’t it

(y/n): yeah it is

BooBoy: very sus

Purp: I swear their having an affair

BeEs: defintly a lesbian

BeEs: *leassion

BeEs: lesion

BeEs: le-a-zon

BeEs: you know what I mean!

BooBoy: take your time Tubbo

You chuckled quietly, putting your phone down to look back up at the movie on the screen. 

~~

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

“AYYYY kids!”

You groaned as your Spanish teacher burst into the room.

“What is with this guy?” Tommy muttered. 

“ayy man not cool.” Mr. Dream said. 

“Mr. Dream your ten minutes late!” Someone pointed out. 

“SHut up man. And I told you just call me Mexican Dream!” The teacher said. 

You frowned, “That doesn’t make sense, theres no way your first name is ‘mexican’.” 

“Well its not,” He explained, “But its cause I’m the Mexican version of that math teacher!” 

“Why couldn’t I have taken French like Boo and Purp?” Tommy asked the ceiling quietly.

~~ Home ec: Miss Nihachu

The last block of the day was always the best, but not just because school would be over soon. 

There were three main reasons why everyone agreed it was the best. 

1. Miss Nihachu was the nicest teacher in school

2. baking was done often, and everyone always got to take some home

3. it was the one class you, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo and Purpled all had together. 

Soon your found yourself crowded into one of the tiny kitchen areas with all your friends, as Miss Nihachu gave instructions. 

“Now, if you make a mess you will be cleaning it up! I’m looking at your kitchen a!” She said, half threateningly.

Ranboo pushed away from the group, “I’m not with them I swear!” 

Miss Nihachu rolled her eyes playfully, “Sure your not.” 

Surprisingly, a mess was not fully made. 

Somehow between Tommy wanting to taste the cookie dough at every step from butter to flour, Tubbo trying to add as many chocolate chips as he could, and Purpled all but refusing to move from where he was sitting on the counter, you and Ranboo managed to get the cookies into the oven with no real disasters. 

As you wiped down the empty counter space you sighed, “That wasn’t too bad.” 

“Yeah.” Tubbo agreed. 

Tommy only nodded, still eating the large glob of cookie dough he’d stolen. 

Ten minutes before the bell rang and when everyone was supposed to be finishing cleaning up you sniffed the air suspiciously, “Why do I smell burning?” 

Tubbo took a deep breath, “I smell it too.”

“Oh yeah, something is definitly burning.” Ranboo agreed. 

You whirled to face Purpled, who was absently scrolling through his phone, “Purp you did set a timer right?” 

[harvestdew]

Do you have any specific seb headcanons? I feel like most everyone has at least one or two about their sdv spouse; but if you're more interested in giving a kiki and seb character dynamic analysis like you did for haley, abigail, and shane I'd be SUPER into that too

I LOVE SEBASTIAN i’m glad you’re interested in hearing about their dynamic! i like when people talk or ask me about this stuff so i get irrationally happy when people are interested in my oc or my opinions of characters in the game. again i’ll put it under a read more since i don’t want to clog people’s dashboards up! also here’s a quick sketch of him i did as a little treat

sebastian headcanons

i always thought and still think he’s asian (like me and kiki) because of his dark hair. i know people say he dyes it but whatever

he’d probably like sanrio even if not openly? i think he might be embarrassed since ppl assume sanrio’s for kids but he’d especially like keroppi because he likes frogs

he’s GOTH (and to some extent punk) not an e-boy people need to stop calling him an e-boy i’m begging you because if you saw e-boy culture on tiktok you know they’re the legit antithesis of him and he would probably hate/make fun of them with sam and abigail

my dude wears glasses but only when he’s alone in his room which is why if you took him out to get food he wouldn’t be able to read the menu at mcdonalds

he’s naturally good with cats in the same way he’s good with frogs. he’s one of those people who doesn’t even know but cats just seem to really like them for no explainable reason

definitely plays minecraft. no ifs ands or buts. he is not ashamed in it and neither should you

i don’t think his hair was intentionally supposed to be longer on one side.  i think he grew his hair out once in high school and then tried to cut it but cut off too much on one side but when he saw how edgy it looked he went idk this kinda looks nice and left it

i don’t know if anyone knows about the games yume nikki and ib but he’d like those types of games a lot. and in the context of him being a programmer, he’d probably code something similar to the premise of that game. very deep but also kinda confusing games

i don’t think he hates maru. she specializes in STEM just like he does and a lot of their interests align imo. i like to think sometimes they help each other out whether it be with maru’s robots or his own coding. at least once he matures out of the phase of feeling secondary to her and realizes she actually really loves her brother

kiki + sebastian relationship

i feel like the couple meme sheet i did embodies their dynamic pretty well but if it wasn’t obvious i like opposites attract and goth/prep dynamics

even if they don’t have the exact same interests, they strive for compromise. as in kiki giving him tulips since she likes tulips even though he hates flowers - he keeps them in a vase anyway. kiki doesn’t like horror, sebastian probably does, and she watches movies with him so he isn’t trapped watching awful romcoms with her. he also probably doesn’t love sweets but i think i established earlier kiki’s pretty good at baking so he tries to eat whatever she bakes anyway. and it’s not like those “the old ball and chain” relationships but more so done out of love so your partner doesn’t feel like they are losing parts of themselves dating you

not that they don’t have anything in common though b/c kiki liked the cave saga comics as a kids and would participate in dnd sessions with sebastian

they were definitely best friends before they went out and i don’t think it was love at first sight. he was probably thinking why the hell does this chick keep showing up in my room for the first few weeks of their friendship until she kinda grew on him once he realized she was there to stay and annoyingly persistent

i don’t really get the vibe sebastian is the type to give you advice when you’re upset but it’s not necessarily a bad thing for kiki. it’s better for her, as opposed to haley (who i DO think gives good advice), to sometimes have someone to listen to. imo he’s more observant so he is able to pick up on her being upset when someone like abigail might not notice

in general the same goes as what i’ve said about shane and haley - a lot of their dynamic is based on helping each other, especially helping each other grow

they definitely bicker but not in an overdramatic way? i feel like the only thing they’d fight about is something as dumb as robin and demetrius fighting over tomatoes being fruit - ultimately harmless (plus robin and demetrius have one of the healthiest relationships in game). maybe something like that one vid of the guys fighting over whether or not water is wet

kiki definitely gets on his ass about his health all the time. like i KNOW it’s annoying the way your mom might nag you but i am so bad at self-care myself that i’m 99% sure he probably forgets to eat sometimes after coding for hours which is why she drops food off for him constantly

sebastian is better at showing affection through his actions because saying stuff verbally is not his strong suit and embarrasses him, so usually he resorts to things

kiki is also so good at giving sebastian super well thought-out gifts (like bidding on a signed copy of the comics he likes) that he gets really nervous around holidays because he doesn’t want to give her something that she doesn’t like and disappoint her. gift giving is a competition at this point

pda is not really sebastian’s thing so kiki doesn’t indulge in it that much so he won’t die of embarrassment. but on occasion she does do some pda in front of everyone though to embarrass him b/c it is kinda funny to her

their dates tend to be really simple too? i don’t think either of them are big gesture types of people or they only do that type of stuff once in a while. i think he’s come to terms that kiki refuses to go back to the city for dates but is okay with date nights in. weirdly enough he plans them more knowing that she’s really busy with farm work

i feel like there’s more but i’m kinda forgetting i might add some more later if i think of some... thank you so much for the ask though!!!

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[placesthatchangedpeople]

Titus’s Diamond Ranch Academy testimony

I attended Diamond Ranch Academy (DRA) for 10 months from 2017-2018. My parents were lured and manipulated into sending and keeping there. I was well-liked for the majority of my stay but still would've rather been shot on the spot than attend this 'Treatment Center'.

My Experience [Simplified]:

Why was I there?

My family and I butted heads before DRA, and more so after.

Pros:

Got work experience in the kitchen.

Comically easy school-work boosted my GPA (The curriculum makes common core look amazing), (My GPA was a 3.6 before DRA).

Cons:

Harrassed almost daily (To be fair, this is the standard).

Constant fear of Physical harm, Rape, Harassment via human bi-product (Urine, Feces, and Semen are the main issues).

Contacted a disease at least once a month.

Physical harm or power abuse via staff (Staff are constantly being fired and are leaving because of how often this happens).

A constant sense of hopelessness as my parents were caught in these snakes trap.

Most of the food (They provide laxatives in medical because of this).

No contact with the opposite gender whatsoever.

Constant theft and damaging of personal items.

No access to music (Unless your child has been attending DRA for over 10months or has mental issues. Side note: If your child has mental issues they will for certain be harassed).

No access to [real] technology. (More on this later)

Many more...

[Simplified End]

Things to know before reading:

The Watches:

Note: All the watches are just detention in special clothing (Bumble Bee attire). This is not a joke, they put your kid in the same room where they put the kids who have been misbehaving and make them sit there for weeks at a time.

Suicide Watch: Suicide Watch is exactly what it sounds like, kids are watched more closely (not actually) so they do not kill themselves. The fact that kids try and kill themselves while they're here should raise some flags to you as a parent.

Run Watch: Run Watch is also exactly what it sounds like, if a kid of suspected of or has tried to run and been caught, they will be put on this watch. Many kids have been caught running, they have what they call bounty hunters to go and track down kids who have ran. The locals often help out when a kid tries to run, but not in defense of the kid. Every kid who ran while I was there was caught, brought back, and punished.

Gay Watch: Gay Watch is when your kid is caught having, or doing, sex/sexual things with/to another kid. I personally never saw it, but it was said you'd get a rainbow shirt.

My Experience:

The beginning of my DRA experience started with being kidnapped and driven to Utah. Luckily I got through this unscathed (I mention this because it's not uncommon for new kids to show up beaten or bruised). As soon as I got there, I was given a tour of my prison and assigned a therapist. My therapist immediately put me on Suicide Watch (SW) and Run Watch (RW) telling me it was because "I'm new" (Spoiler: this rarely happens and while I'm not 100% sure why I think it was just because he was having a bad day). They made me wear a yellow t-shirt, black shorts with no pockets, and flip-flops. We nicknamed this outfit "The Bumble-Bee". While I was a Bumble-Bee I got the joy of sitting in a classroom with all the 'bad kids' doing almost nothing for about a week. I say ALMOST nothing because they managed to get my scholarly agenda setup. I completed almost an entire quarter of most of my classes during that week (Remember what I said about the school-work being comically easy?).

After I was taken off the watches, I got to participate in regular DRA kid things. It only took me a day to be targeted and harassed by other DRA kids. I later learned this was a regular thing and didn't think much of it until after I left the place. This continued throughout my stay but wasn't really a problem as I was easily able to harass back, as most of the staff don't really care.

The regular weekday schedule is, wake up at 6:00-6:30 am, take morning medication if needed, eat breakfast, go to school until 3:00 pm (lunch is in the middle of the day), participate in clubs, sit and do nothing in dorms until dinner (this was supposed to be used for studying, but as I said, the school-work is comically easy), eat dinner, go upstairs and clean dorms and occasionally do non-dorm chores, Netflix and showers (if everyone had been behaving correctly, the staff love blanket punishment and if a kid in your dorm or a group of 8+ kids had been misbehaving would take your tv cord), then lights out at 9:00pm.

The weekend schedule is, wake up at 7:00, take medications if needed, eat breakfast, back to dorms for deep clean (an hour of dorm cleaning), after that, if we everyone was good, we could watch Netflix or do an activity until lunch. Activities included going to the weight room, basketball gym, and sometimes the field. Back to the schedule, from lunch, we would have nap time (people rarely napped), after naptime is benefit if you made it (more on that later) or if you didn't, detention until the end of the day or more Netflix until dinner, after dinner its Netflix and showers until bed at 10:00 (I think).

We did get some holidays off. Just not the whole week or anything close to that, just the day of the holiday. To give you an idea of what holidays are like; For Christmas, we got the day off, two boxes of cosmic brownies or oatmeal cream pies and assorted treats (total value of about 10$), played dodgeball and got to watch a movie in the commons area.

Notice how I haven't mentioned the barn/ranch yet. Even though the name of the place is called Diamond RANCH Academy and you are paying a minimum of 66,000$ [Maximum I believe is around 120,000$] for your kid to attend, they ask I think another 10,000$ per month for your kid to have access to the main gimmick of the place. On the topic of money let me go into what you'd be paying for.

The administration would have you think are paying for whatever problem with your teen you told them about to be solved. What you are actually paying for is very likely to be a huge waste of your teens time, detriment to your teens health, and massive detriment to your relationship with your teen. Why do I say this? Well, I have kept up with fellow DRA survivors and observed their lives as well as my own.

I keep up with about 87 of the about 130 people I attended DRA with via Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and Facebook. Out of the 87 I know, only 2 have stopped their drug usage (but both continue to use Marijuana) and are better versions of themselves (I must note when I asked them about it they told me it's not because of DRA, but because they decided themselves that they were going to stop). Of the 87, 59 of them said their relationships with their family had worsened and the other 28 (I could not get ahold of all 28 of them, probably not a good sign) had said their relationship was the same as when they left. The 85, in my opinion, have become worse versions of themselves then when I knew them at DRA. My own personal relationship with my family has worsened since my return from DRA.

Out of space so here are some important notes:

DRA kid testimonials on their website:

We are forced to smile in all pictures.

All of the kids giving video testimonials are bribed with treats and candies (highly valuable to us because we'd rarely get any), I know because I knew (and know) them and asked about it.

DRA testimonials on this website:

Not sure about all of them, but I find it highly suspicious that most of them are from California. Not going to name the one but there is one that says 'Trust the staff and program' which seems VERY suspicious to me. I'd say, if you do decide to send your kid here, trust your kid and read through the lines of what the admin will be telling you at the same time. Remember they are running a businesses and make money off of you sending and keeping your child there.

Administration Lies:

Note: Most aren't direct lies, just not full truths. Note: They will tailor what they tell you to you specifically

Example: There was a regular kid they tricked into coming, they told him DRA had school dances, access to phones, girls, and regular hikes.

DRA has a seasonal dance club, for girls campus only.

The Staff alone have access to smartphones and kids can rarely talk on wired phones, and only to family or people the family has cleared (Not an easy process, also they will usually hang you up if you try to tell them about how terrible DRA really is).

There are girls there. But they are on a whole separate campus, and you will be heavily punished if you get caught trying to or making contact with any of them and vice versa.

There are hikes, sometimes, for benefits (I never went on a single one).

They have an Ice-Cream Machine - They do, but it has been broken for years.

They have dogs, cats, horses, and more. - They do, but you have to pay the extra 10,000$ per month to access them.

They have Xbox - They do, but you have to progress pretty far into the program to get access, and the only games are Minecraft, StarWars Battlefront 2, Skyrim, Mirrors Edge, and Batman Arkham Night. All which you are not guaranteed to play and are likely to have to share with someone else.

I'm out of space, to sum this all up, if you have to send your kid anywhere, please consider somewhere else.

[takaraphoenix]

Sherlock?

I’m not big on it. Like, I watch it, but it’s a casual watch for me like Navy CIS or Law & Order: SVU. It’s not something I get even remotely invested in.

I mean, the only reasons I got into it were three in particular:

1.) I watched Detective Conan as a kid and that was the first time I even heard the name Sherlock, because he was a “modern day Sherlock��, so to me when I was later confronted with the actual Sherlock for the first time, it was “oh, an old-fashiony Shinichi Kudou then” to me.

2.) The RDJ movies. That’s how I was first really confronted with Sherlock and I mainly watched those because of RDJ, that precious bean. And when I started watching the show, I was like “Oh, I liked that movie, why not try the show”.

3.) The fandom is terrifyingly big. Like. All the memes. All the Sherlock everywhere. All the quotes. All the Bernard Cucumberbear. I gotta admit, the buzz it got alone was enough to make me tentatively curious (that does not work for every huge thing. Nothing will ever make me watch The Walking Dead because I am terrifyingly uncomfortable with zombies).

So yeah, that much for the intro. That’s how I found the show and why I started watching it, with those three things in mind. And, what can I say, it was a huge let-down for me personally?

First of all, the sheer number of episodes. Nine episodes? You people throw such an intense party about nine freaking episodes? Half a season of basically any other show is already longer than that, for heaven’s sake, you barely get time to get invested, how did you people get that invested?

I mean, seriously now, I’ve heard so much of how awesome Sherlock is for literal years at that point and I braced myself for like at least 50 episodes to be watched, for like at least five season. But... three seasons and... a total of nine episodes?

That brings me to my first complaint. Apparently, it doesn’t bother many, but it bothers me. It’s a fucking ridiculous schedule, is what it is. I know that Moffat, because he’s been doing fucking ridiculous schedules on Doctor Who too and I know it’s the combination of “Whoops, both our main leads are kiiinda popular and keep making movies instead of solemnly focusing on this show. Damn it”. But to me, it just doesn’t compute to wait literal three years for a new season - and fuck that Christmas special they put in between there, it was still a three year wait for a new season.

With a standard waiting time of two years. Two years to get three episodes. That doesn’t compute with me at all. If I had been there from the beginning, I would have stopped watching after season two when it became apparent that they don’t give a fuck about delivering seasons in a reasonable time-frame because I ain’t got the patience for that.

It also never did anything to get me hooked. Plot-wise, sure, it was a cool different approach to solving crimes but not any more special or fun than say Psych or Mentalist or literally any other show who did the consultant thing. Which, yeah, people who read and loved the books may crucify me for because obviously, Sherlock did it first. But show-wise and for the way I met them, Sherlock kinda did it last.

And Sherlock himself is in no way or shape a likable or relatable character, so that’s where it lost me too, I suppose. He brings nothing to the table that justifies his attitude and behavior and all I do when watching the show is mainly feel bad for Watson. Also no, I do not ship them. At. All.

I like Sherlock’s brother Minecraft Microsoft. He’s oddly fun. And I do mean odd, because I don’t really understand my self why I find him so funny.

And Irene Adler. Really like that lady. She brought something new and intriguing to the show - and I’m not just talking about the BDSM element there.

I don’t understand the fascination with Moriarty. I don’t know, he’s not exactly an exceptional villain with an intriguing story or anything, I just... somehow, I expected more and then there’s the other thing but we’re going to get into this later on.

Ironically, the first time I actually got hooked on it was the second last episode that was available at the time. The wedding of John and Mary. Personally, I thought that was the best episode, closely followed by the one about the puppy of Baskerville.

I did not like the late pseudo-Christmas special The Abominable Bride. Not at all. For the first two thirds, it was just a confusing untill it became Not What I Like by being revealed as a drug-inducted fever-dream. I don’t approve of drugs at all and to use them to tell a very weird time-shifty story was... strange. Bringing back Moriarty, very weird.

Which brings me to the Moriarty-thing I wanted to get back at!

Season 4 was an abomination. I hate it. I hate it so much. I like to not use the word “hate”, but there just isn’t another way to describe my feelings for that pile of stinking garbage that they wrote there.

And by “season 4″, I namely mean Mary-Sue Holmes and how she was shoehorned and retconned into the plot.

Honestly though, literally naming her Mary-Sue would have at least been fun self-awareness and a better name than the Mary-Sue-esque name they picked for “sudden sister of the main character who was kinda there all along but we are right now figuring out how exactly that works but she’s also a genius and suuuper duper important and her name shall be Moonshine Emerald Potter-Holmes Eurus Homes”.

I’m sorry, but it is physically impossible to see her as a proper character because she is such a bad, bad, bad Mary-Sue. This is the kind of plotlines in fanfiction that make me scoff and keep scrolling. The sudden sister of the main character who was never mentioned before but is just as super-duper special in the same aspects as her brother (you know, like Jason Grace for The Heroes of Olympus...).

I have a problem with that kind of writing. If it’s fanfiction, I can scroll past it. I can even respect it, because let’s face it every fanfiction author started off in some kind of way with those self-insert Mary-Sue characters, even if it was just in your head as a kid.

But if canon, particularly a popular franchise that has come a long way, suddenly reverts back from intriguing and detailed story-telling into the most basic elementary school level of story-telling, that’s just pathetic.

And, to bring back Moriarty, she completely undercut him. If they had literally brought back Moriarty and he would have been behind it all, that would have even been cool and would have also sold me on him more. Instead, he was just a... better pawn for Mary-Sue Holmes and it, to me, made his plotline worth so much less than before.

The fact that we had to turn it all around and have Mary-Sue Holmes be a “misunderstood character in need of love” was just another overused, cheap trope that fell in line with the fanfiction cliches they were working into that one.

The fact that it were Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat writing it just... shocks me, to be honest?

I mean, I’m not a Moffat fan, personally I think that his plots are too convoluted and messy and go on for too long but let’s safe that in case anyone sends an ask for Doctor Who. But, despite all that, his stories have an amazing pay-off at the end of it all. He’s brilliant at that, I’ll give him that.

Mark Gatiss, not a fan of his writing. His episodes on Doctor Who are some of the weirdest, strangest, most boring and forgettable ones. So I’m very tempted to blame him for that one because with Moffat, I had at least expected a good pay-off for all that drama?

But that’s just my personal opinion on the matter. I guess it just didn’t bring any of the key-elements I’m looking for in a show to the table. Maybe that would have been different if it, ya know, would be a “proper” show that by now already had like seven seasons, each with 10 to 20 episodes, giving the whole thing more development. I just didn’t click with the characters, the format or the story and that last “big surprise reveal” just completey ruined it for me, so I’ll not be tuning back in if they ever in ten years get around to making a new season.

[littledonkeyburrito]

MY GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES

1. When was the last time you ate something containing chocolate?  I had a couple of oreos earlier today

2. When in a car, where do you like to sit? You get a lot of choices when you’re the driver

3. Have you ever been lost in an unfamiliar setting? I have been lost in many countries. Thank god for Google’s offline maps

4. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? Thank god for Google’s offline maps

5. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? Nothing probably. I mean, what would they even have to say about me? I’m not interesting enough to talk about.

6. When you watch the news, how does it effect your mood? Either neutral or negative. That’s why I stopped watching/reading the news unless it’s an article I’m actually interested in.

7. Do you ever have anxiety attacks? Fortunately no. I had one panic attack when I was like 12 but I didn’t even realise it was a panic attack until many years later.

8. Have you been to the library in your city any time recently? I don’t even know where any libraries are in this city.

9. Would you ever wish to move to another country? Who, me? 

10. Have you ever had anything expensive stolen from you? MY GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES. Look, this happened 3 years ago and I am still bitter about it. I don’t even care about the cash they stole from my wallet, I’m just angry they broke into my apartment and stole my potatoes.

11. What is your stance on getting revenge? Power stance for optimal stability

12. When was the last time you sent someone a friend request on Facebook? No idea

13. How do you decide whether to accept or not accept a friend request? Well, if I don’t know them I don’t accept.

14. Can you smell anything right now? No but you’ve reminded me that I have to put the trash out before I do.

15. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? Yeah I skyped mum this morning

16. Do you wear your hair up or down most often? I have short hair. But I do put the fringe up when it’s a bit shorter or when I’m going out.

17. What was the first thing you ate today? Leftovers

18. Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? I gave up on trying to contact my internet company today. It can wait. Although I do also need to email my bank and ask about procedure for closing accounts.

19. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? It’s fine. Certain types are freaking delicious but most is very mediocre.

20. Can you hear anything right now? Music on youtube

21. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef

22. Have you taken any medication today? No

23. Have you ever been suspended from school? Yes, I was suspended once for fighting.

24. Have you ever inhaled helium? I have almost passed out from inhaling helium and, while it was a little bit fun, I don’t recommend it.

25. Have you bought something that was on sale today? No. Almost booked a first aid course but I’m going to wait.

26. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? Yeah

27. Have you watched a movie this week? No, I don’t think I have

28. Have you ever been to a wedding? I’ve been to a few family weddings. The first of my friends is getting married at the end of the year and I’m a groomsman. They couldn’t stand the thought of seeing me in a dress at their wedding so I’ll be on his side.

29. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? In the age of smartphones? No.

30. What did you last take a picture of with your camera? Food haha

31. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I have no idea

32. Is chapstick a necessity for you? If I haven’t drunk enough water or I’ve had salty food, yes.

33. What are you listening to? Estaré - DLD

34. Are you happy? sure, I’m content. I’m under the blankets in bed with the heater going, messaging with a friend. I’m going to London tomorrow and back to Australia and all my friends in 2 weeks.

35. What time is it? 8pm. I’m probably going to sleep soon.

36. Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon? I will watch movies with my mum when I’m back in aus.

37. Is anyone interested in you right now? I think my ex is getting kinda keen about me coming back to australia

38. Are you good at giving directions? Yeah because my mum hates bad directions so she taught me how to read a map as a kid so I could direct her when she was lost while driving.

39. Have you ever kissed in the rain? I don’t think so. I’m not big on pda so I haven’t kissed outside much.

40. How did you feel when you woke up? Surprisingly awake even thought it wasn’t even 9am. Now I’m tired af though.

41. Have you ever driven without a license? I learned to drive when I was a kid, so yeah. But not on roads, just property.

42. What color shirt are you wearing? It’s white with mickey mouses all over it. I got it at disneyland in hong kong a couple of years ago.

43. What are you most looking forward to tomorrow? Going to London, obviously.

44. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yes

45. What does your last message say? Goodnight patrick

46. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? All the crap I have to organise to move country again

47. When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? I’ll be in England tomorrow night so probably tomorrow night.

48. Captain Morgan or Smirnoff? Captain Morgan. I am not a vodka person.

49. Predict what will happen this weekend. I will be in London and it will be fun.

50. Have you ever been drunk at school or work? I’ve been drunk at the office but not while on duty. It was the christmas party.

51. Have you finished school yet? 6 years ago.

52. What was the last thing you complained about? Probably that it was cold.

53. What is your favorite kind of fruit juice? Fresh orange juice is good shit

54. Have you worn a necklace today? In all honesty I had kind of forgotten that necklaces exist because it’s been so long since I wore one.

55. Have you ever had an x-ray? Only on my teeth

56. Do you know anyone who was born overseas? Me, for a start.

57. Have you been to the movies lately? What movie did you see anyways? Last thing I saw at the cinemas was Coco. Still need to see Star Wars and Jumanji. And Paddington 2 but I’ll ave to wait until that’s on netflix.

58. Have you ever owned a golf-cart before? What color was it anyways? People OWN golf carts???

59. What is the color of the curtains in the room you’re in right now? White.

60. Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? Probably. Heavy drinking? Skiing without a helmet? Not wearing a seatbelt?

61. Do you get embarrassed when your parents talk about when you were a baby? No..?

62. Do you think anyone who is in the room with you right now is really mean? I’m alone. Whether that’s a yes or a no is up to your interpretation.

63. Do you get nervous easily? Yes

64. Do you get horny a lot? God, so much

65. Do you acknowledge your feelings or ignore them? Bottle, suppress, and ignore

66. What are you listening to at the moment? Branded - Nathan Sharp. I don’t really know who he is but he came up on the youtube mix and I kinda dig it.

67. Name all the pets you’ve ever had. Chablis (aka Shabby), Brie, Sparkle, Hob-nob.

68. Do you prefer being on time, or do you not mind being late? I'm always stressed if I’m running late.

69. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? I’m down for a lot of things.  70. Have you ever made a bucket list? No, I do what I want when I want. I don’t need a list 71. What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Physics, even though I liked both science and maths. 72. How many cell phones have you gone through up till now? In my life I have had 6 73. Italian food or Chinese food? Chinese, always. I think italian food is overrated. It’s not bad, just not as good as people say 74. Ever studied a foreign language? Spanish 75. Don’t you hate it when your family eats all the ice cream at home? I don’t live with my family and I also don’t eat much icecream 76. Favorite flavor of gum? I don’t like gum. 77. Do you tend to be frugal, or are you more comfortable spending money? That depends how much money I have. I am very good at saving money and talking myself out of buying things I want even when I do have the spare money for it. But then I’ll also pay a deposit on a month long trip on impulse. 78. Ever played a team sport, or are you not sporty at all? I didn’t do team sports, I did karate. 79. Do you put posters on your bedroom walls? Not since I was a teenager 80. Do you sleep with one leg sticking out of the covers? When it’s not the middle of winter

81. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes and it surprised me because it is Known that I cannot sing well. 82. How many email accounts do you have? Two, I don’t use one of them. 83. Are you a big fan of dessert? I suppose so but I don’t eat that much dessert stuff. I more often have cravings for savoury food. 84. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Probably when I got suspended. 85. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? I don’t give a shit. You do you little buddy 86. Favorite pair of shoes? My maroon converse that I just had to throw out because I finally had to call time of death after they walked over a thousand kilometers in 11 countries and were totally falling apart and had holes in them and a random pink stain on one of the toes which I do not know how it happened. It was in a club in Panama but I don’t know the actual source of the pink. 87. Jalapeños: yay or nay? Yay 88. Did you ever play Minecraft? No 89. Can you sleep soundly with the light on? Yes. Benefits of being a shift worker for years is that you learn to sleep whenever you get a chance. Also being a traveller has helped too because now I can even sleep on planes which is a goddamn miracle. 90. Would you like to go ziplining someday? I went in Boquete in Panama. It was pretty rad.

91. Have a Tumblr account? No 92. Do you have a lot of hair on your arms? Or none at all? Like, a normal amount..? 93. Often misplace things, or are you very organized? All of my things have a place. 94. Get along with your siblings (if you have any) well? Not really. But the older we get the less we fight. 95. Ever crushed on a teacher? If so, what subject did he/she teach? My spanish teacher. I was an adult though so it was less weird. Also one of my karate senseis when I was a young teen. 96. Ever been to the Vatican?  No, but I’m sure I’ll go there whenever I eventually it up Italy.

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Some Infos:Always liked making money growing up like selling chocolate bars in school and so on. Tried lots of things so far like multiple T-Shirt selling attempts, affiliate websites and that kind of stuff. Never made much money besides a few good weeks of flipping mainly drop shipped on amazon or fulfilled by amazon but I discontinued due to time/scaleability but I will explain that at the end for people who are interested. Funny enough while I focused on youtube my few months old March by Amazon account finally made my first sale. Sold 3 of the same shirt all others got taken down due to no sales.Youtube Background:Started youtube super early when most people didn't know what it was. Had a channel with over a 1000 subscribers back when it was a big deal lmao. Had the opportunity to be one of the first youtube partners in my country but parents looked at me like I am crazy and of course didn't sign for me so yeah would have probably made them some good money considering how much it paid back then. Fast forward lots of projects, copyright issues and youtube updates later I had lots of channels mostly alone some with others but never made money or got successful. I blame some of it on my parents and some on all the things youtube would take years to accept in out country like uploading thumbnails I mean wtf.Anyways I created the channel of this case study around 3 years ago in hopes of launching a big projects thats still in the works and fits the content so yay. Uploaded a ton of videos on there to try stuff out and ended up deleting everything. At one point I had over 100 short videos uploaded and planned with finished descriptions and everything but scraped the whole idea after a few releases. Will explain why down below. So 8 months ago or so I uploaded the first video I wouldn't delete later. Posted it here and there and it got 30k views Then 3 months ago after some trail and error I uploaded the next video which was the same thing only over an hour long with much more information and everything. It took days of work just in researching and days to edit. Should have counted the hours but I just came home everyday and worked on it for a few hours for over two weeks I think. Tried send traffic from the older video and did my best with reddit and so on. The work paid off lots of people thanked me for the effort and worked its way up to 100k views which got me really excited. Still one of my better videos now sitting around 300k. Since then I uploaded over 25 videos.Stats:Subscribers 2k+ Views 3M+ Videos 25+Had 25 inactive subs from experimenting then took for ever to grow to 50 from there around 1 a day for a while until the spike of the 100k video that gave me +100 subscribers in a day. At some point it finally started growing constantly and had some good spikes in the third month.Income:Month 1: 90 Month 2: 290 Month 3: 1400Started while the whole YouTube Add boycott was going on and at some point between the end of month 1 & the middle of month 2 (not exactly sure analytics are very inaccurate n youtube for small channels and for example estimated income was accurate the first time in the third month) my income dropped to 0 for weeks not sure how much money I lost. Overall I heard income is good 30% down since then so I broke $1000+ a month while every freaking youtuber cried for money and started donation accounts.Estimated Month 4: 1200 Had several really good performing videos last month and it will be hard topping that this month unless my next video will proof me wrong but I am sure I will get a new record in month 5 since almost every video makes constant money in addition to the spike in the first week or two of the upload and its really starting to ad up. Also got some good videos planed.Subscribers:Now 3M views and only 2k subscribers seems like a really bad conversion rate but YouTube is confusing in that sense. The more subscribers and views you get the easier it is to get them. Getting to 100 almost feels impossible at first then 1000 seems doable but takes for ever and then it actually starts growing and around 10.000 is the sweet spot where you finally made it. People start commenting about how big you are gonna get and how glad they are that they are here before the hype. Its like once you get more subscriber people actually take you serious even though the content was always just as good like when people wait in line just because the line is so long and that means the food must be good.Video Upload Amount:When starting out focus on nothing but quality videos. Otherwise people find your channel with 100s of videos and no subscribers or views and are overwhelmed with where to start watching. They also see the bad stats and assume your content must suck. I could go a lot more in depth if you are interested but for example look at gamers or vloggers with 100s of episodes and no views and if you klick on lets say episode 257 its just some random dude filming him self eating or silently running trough a dessert in Minecraft and within a minute you klick on a recommended video or leave youtube. But if someone finds your channel and you have 10 videos but all are amazing the viewer it tempted to subscribe since he likes the content but ran out of material to watch. Thats the main reason why I rather upload a few times maybe even just once a week but get share worthy high quality content with 100k views then daily uploads which would help in seo terms but are just not doable for most people if you keep the quality. Also daylight uploads are much more effective if you wait until you have a subscribers base thats waiting and actively asking for it.Thumbnails:Thumbnails are everything they must be easy to understand like one clear picture of something explaining the video. Random example if you make a video about cows you use a clear picture of a cow or a glass of milk. Don't use text for 99% or your thumbnails because its not eye catching, you already have the title for that and its hard to read since on mobile for example the time stamp at the right corner covers usually the last few digits so yeah. I know some successful channels always use text but they are either really god at making them or are already successful enough for other rains then their thumbnails.Video length:I found that 3 minute videos get really well shared but longer content is more impressive, helps with watch time, pays more and people have more time to go to the comment section and stuff. Two of my best videos are over an hour long. Also youtube favors over 10 min videos since adds before after the video.Description box:I still play around with it but I try to make a catching and seo friendly first sentence and I often advertise my others videos. I also try to rephrase the title and add additional informations.Tags:My main tags that bring viewers are really simple ones but longer ones usually and really well on youtube.Annotations:I don't use it since soon gone.Cards:New version of annotations. Mobile friendly. I don't use them on all my videos since I put a lot of effort in them and I don't want to dissect the viewer with popping up cards or asking for likes or anything.End Cards:Use them on all my videos and its nice to send some traffic to other videos but regarding the analytics only a few % of views come from them so its debatable how important they are. I always fit them in with music of the video and stuff so its more engaging and people don't mind it.Making additional money:At first I didn't do anything like affiliate links since I don't want my subscribers to think I just made the channel for money. Lately I placed some links in the description without mentioning it in the video in any form and still got some clicks but no sales. One of those links was to my Merch shirt but also no sales. Will definitely redo my designs and think about fitting products for the affiliate links and add them back in at some point. Maybe I will do a Teespring campaign for special videos or something but like I said its more important to grow the channel then to make some extra cash and risking to make the growth harder.Competitors and Stolen Videos:People already re uploading my videos without giving credit. Left comments on the ones I found and claimed copyright on some. Youtube took them down within a few days.Copyright and Age Restrictions:Had one video flagged for non advertising friendly (yt update since ad boycott) but dispute got accepted within a few hours I think. Had someone threaten to sue me for using a few seconds of material in my longest video. I offered links in the description, in the video and end cards but apparently some people rather fight then get free advertisement all over a several hundred thousand views video. Literally seconds out of an hour. Deleted the clips with the youtube editor without taking it down so kept all the stats. Recent video got copyrighted for the same thing I used in a different video which didn't get copyrighted. Did some research and found out its probably a scam youtube network and I claimed a dispute but no answer yet. Luckily I didn't release it yet but no Idea how they can flag my private video without owning the content but I have to figure that out. Ended up deleting it and uploading it again later without problems.Water Marks:I don't really use one like some people where its always in the corner or something but I place it here and there if that makes sense. Only really big ones protect against stealing it fairly well but I think they suck for the viewers. My videos are supposed to be like movies and do you want to have a giant Warner Brothers Water Mark when watching a movie? Small ones can be ok if they are well made but they get covered by the peoples water marks who steal the videos so they won't help. Depending on the content they can make it seem professional and so on but anyways moving on.All about the Money?I always enjoyed making videos way before I made a cent with it and still do so its confusing because I still somehow feel like I would lie if I say I don't do it for the money. I mean additional 1000 a month is huge for me so its definitely a factor. Its a hobby that makes money so I would be stupid to not do it. I don't know.Goals:Keep income at constant $1000+ Make $2000+ within a month. Start using my website in combination with my videos. Reach 10.000 Subscribers Get enough videos pre made and planed. Get the few low performing videos above 10.000 views. Find more good copyright free music. Keep improving editing. Figure out the best way to deal with re uploads.The Amazon FBA & Drop Shipping Bonus Story:I always sold stuff I no longer used or could randomly get really cheap in person or on ebay. At some point started using amazon. Much later I started using FBA and I was basically exploiting a market which was extremely low completion on amazon. After the first good week I already got a spike in competitors and by now it went from thousands of percent margins close to nothing. One of my best sellers sometimes cost me $3 and I sold it it for $40 and for a while I sold several of those a say so that was exciting. I typed in the main keyword in to amazon, sorted all items by highest price first and listed every single product from over 100 amazon pages. Did all of it without any plugins or tools besides something that could grab the ean number by clicking on the product forgot the name. Main reasons why I stopped was several things. First competitors became a problem because some where undercutting prices insanely like dropping the $40 bestseller to $7 so yeah. (Funny thing it was a collectors niche so selling them that cheap is just stupid because you cant just order lots of them like you could with alibaba stuff.) Second the site I mainly used to buy and drop ship everything was huge but I still created price spikes with my best sellers so I could run out any time. Third my country doesn't have its own Amazon domain like .com so we don't have FBA shipping discounts and other things which would help immensely since international shipping depending on the amazon fertility gets expensive. Fourth it was extremely time consuming I mean if I edit a video for a few hours plus respond to people and stuff it also take a while but the video can make 100s or even thousands of dollars and keeps making profit and getting views every day and the growth of the channel pays of immensely over time. Feels much more useful then researching and listing products all day and connately fight competitors with pricing and all that stuff. Overall it was still extremely worth it since I learned a lot and had a ton of fun making significant money online for the first time while being kinda broke that time. I will definitely come out with my own products at some point and chances are high I will use FBA to distribute them.TLDR: Started focusing on youtube and made $1000+ while add boycott was going on and everyone was crying for donations and acted like the world would end. Reached 3M vies and 2K subscribers. Had experience but learned a lot.