#I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD EMO POST WITH WHAT LITTLE JAPANESE I KNOW

[themindelectricdemo4]

私はしません…

[syncopatedid]

Kazetsuyo Novel Translation: Excerpt from Chapter 4: Track Meet

(Pages 170-173):

As the Tokyo Sports U track meet drew close, Kakeru’s mood was steadily rising in anticipation.

It’s been a while since he had competed in a real race. But even though Kakeru was confident he had covered his training very thoroughly, his mind would start to wander every night before falling asleep: Would running into a former acquaintance unsettle him and affect his concentration during the race? Had his race instincts gotten dull that he’d miscalculate his strategies? Could his time record which had gained him much attention back on his high school track team even pass for a college-level standard?

As soon as he closed his eyes, negative thoughts would surface one after another. Restless, Kakeru threw his blanket aside and sat up on his futon. 

Suppressing his urge to immediately get out of bed to go jogging, he adjusted his breathing in the darkness of his room.

“Be patient… be patient…”  Kakeru told himself.

Don’t think about anything else. Just picture yourself running. Feel the movement of your muscles throughout your body. Keep moving forward… 

Rekindling that fire, his doubts evaporated into thin air. Like Nira waiting to be taken for its walks, Kakeru was feeling eager again.

Aside from practice, Kakeru was also properly attending his lectures at the university. Kiyose had rationalised that “one cannot possibly produce results in running if they can’t even fulfil their credits”, but because Kakeru was fully committed to his training, he had been repeatedly turning down invites to mixers and gatherings. As for Chikusei-so’s other occupants, they were making a concerted effort to hit the qualifying time as well; as soon as school was done for the day, they would all head back to the apartment without delay to work on their runs.

So it didn’t take long before word of their activity started to spread—not only was the shopping street abuzz with chatter, even the students at the university got to talking: “It seems that those guys from that run-down apartment are training very hard for a race.”

The day before the Tokyo Sports U track meet, Kakeru had asked a favour of a friend who was in the same foreign language studies class to answer roll call on his behalf. 

“What, you’re taking a break tomorrow, Kurahara?”

"I’ll be running in the track meet, so…”

“Ah… speaking of that, I hear you’re aiming for the marathon, right?”

“It’s not a marathon…”

The ekiden is what I’m aiming for, and tomorrow’s track meet is the 5000-metre run, Kakeru thought to himself, but did not bother to clarify. 

Kakeru had come to realise a fact when he started university, that those who have no ties to track and field wouldn’t know the difference between a marathon and an ekiden. And when it came to the track meet, some would even look surprised and laugh it off as a joke. “5000 metres? Isn’t that just running in circles around the track?” they’d tease, as if it were some sort of bizarre ritual.

To Kakeru, track is life. To most others, however, a track meet is just another boring race.

The truth was a harsh reality, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel a little complacent.

I guess not everyone can understand how big a deal it is and why we’ve been training so hard every day…

Hence with the present conversation, Kakeru was able to smile and casually gloss over the details. 

“Well… think of it as a condensed version of a marathon. Anyway, I’m counting on you, thanks.” 

“Just leave it to me!  Go get ‘em, champ!”

His friend had the sincerest expression on his face. Even though he might not understand Kakeru’s ambitions, Kakeru could tell he was cheering him on from the bottom of his heart.

That night, Kakeru could barely fall asleep. His rest was shallow, and his mind, sharp and alert. This is fine, Kakeru thought as he drifted in and out of sleep, sensing the last of his lingering doubts dissipating. After tonight, his transformation will be complete, and his body and mind will be in a state that is ready to run. 

He was feeling it—that feeling he had pretended he’d forgotten all this time—his fighting spirit before a race. 

————————————————–

Footnotes:

- And Kakeru’s uni friend makes his cameo! I’ve mentioned in this post before, I was really quite heartened to read that Kakeru seems to have other friends aside from the Aotake squad (he does get invited along to mixers and parties after all), so I do read novel Kakeru as someone who’s less emo than anime! Kakeru, and radiates a kind of “sports jock” vibe that draws people to him even if he’s not exactly proactive at making friends. Besides, he was asking this friend to help him tell a white lie, so I guess that takes a certain level of established trust?

The exact word they used in the original was “Yuujin” (友情), which is a formal word for “friend”, but even though this friend isn’t written as a “Nakama” (仲間) or even has a name to his credit, I do feel the choice of words over “classmate”( クラスメイト ) or “acquaintance”（知り合い… which, btw, was the word used in this excerpt in reference to Sakaki), hints that this guy could still be a good friend despite them not being on a first-name basis. I am reminded of the “Yuujin” in Natsume Yuujinchou and I draw the impression from Takashi’s close friendships with his normie friends, despite all of them still addressing one another by their family names. So let me just have this nice little headcanon that Kakeru sees this friend the same way as well, okay? :*)  

-  I’m also pretty delighted to learn that Kakeru takes a class in foreign language studies! Since he’s in the Sociology department, I would assume the guy could be taking (cross-faculty?) modules from the linguistics department that are relevant to his area of study, maybe Language & Culture? The question is, are we talking foreign languages in general, or is his module more focused on a particular language? If it’s the latter, my headcanon would default to the English language, since that seems like the most “useful” language for a Japanese to study, and Kakeru feels like the type who would opt for practical subjects that would be more applicable to the working world, compared to say, maybe Haiji or Akane, who might have deeper appreciation for languages as lit majors (or maybe Kakeru does appreciate them to a small extent, but they are secondary compared to his overwhelming love for track, idk.) But anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself here cuz the modules you take as a first-year are mostly introduction modules and are pretty rudimentary, lol. Freshman year is still the honeymoon period, you know.

- p.s: Haiji says to attend your lectures properly so you can win all the races, m’kay? #ThisHasBeenAPSA 

[manjuhitorie]

Hitori-Escape Tour 2019 concert reports 14-18

1-9

10-13

14 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 11/10/2019 at Takamatsu DIME Takamatsu prefecture

●The road was flocked with cosplayers on their way to the venue. Yuma recognized the Azur Lane cosplays, while SND recognized the Street Fighter and the Touhou. “Like Reimu and Youmu~” Yuma was face to face with a Miku across the street while waiting at a crosswalk, which amused him also..

SND “Hey! Was anyone in the crowd here who was out there cosplaying today, raise your hand! Come on be honest, tell sensei. Everybody close your eyes so you can’t judge each other, so only sensei can see c’mon.” Yuma “There’s people still opening their eyes lol.”

●Takamatsu really is full of events. There was a strange pungent smell eating away at Yu until he sought out the origin. It was a cheese event going on right nearby.  “These sort of things bother you until you find! Once you find the origin then it stops smelling, it’s an enigma.” ●A cat was spotted caught up in the cosplayer crowd too, which SND found adorable.

Yuma “I’m a dog lover and… I don’t really get the feelings of cats!! If you annoy a dog then you’re their enemy for the rest of the day but, with cats they’ll only hate you on the spur of a moment, based on mood. Yet then you spend the rest of the day depressed...!”

SND brings the flow of the conversation over to yga’s (cat-like) feelings, where Yumao dubs him the “Expressionless emo”. Yuma “He’s stoic but, mid-show he will turn around and smile at me! Sometimes he’ll be saying something too but, because it’s indecipherable I’ll just do my best to convey ‘Uhh, that seems good!!’ to him.” SND “... He looks at me a lot too but he never smiles.” Yu “Well cause the crowd could see his face then, but when he's turned around the crowd can’t see him!”

●SND “Well then. Umm.. It's uh… today...” *Unable to piece anything together while yga stares at him stifled and raring to go* “Ummm..”  ygarsh >>*BWOON*<< SND tweet "Takamatsu concert: complete, Takamatsu is the greatest place every time I come, I’m happy I got to perform in a city I love. Thank you, we’ll probs be back. Tomorrow we’ll be in Osaka y'hear"

15 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 11/11/2019 at Takamatsu DIME in Takamatsu prefecture

●During the handheld mic song SND went over to yg’s side and wrapped his arm around yg’s shoulders. Contrary to yesterday’s slip and slide yg did to dodge him—

●SND was late getting to the venue, due to countless self-destructive forces at bay. Yumao joked that he’s truly living the rockstar life. Truly a ‘rock musician’. At first he questioned “Sensei~ Were you busy drawing your manga~?” Because SND is an artistic person, and artist’s concept of time tends to be wonky. “Both of my parents are artists so I know this well,” he said..! SND “I drank for 12 hours straight... Until 10 AM... When the meet-up was at 12. I just had to group up with the crew to get all our gear together and hop in the car to drive down, so I told myself I would nap for 1 hour, then wake up, take a shower, get ready and go... But I ended up sleeping overtime. When I woke up even a miracle wouldn’t be able to get me there on time. So I called manager-san and told her the situation”.

Yumao “I didn’t care if manager-san gets angry at you~!” Though manager didn’t get angry at SND, she just made sure he had everything and could play okay.  SND “Though I lied and said I had some stuff ready when I didn’t... Why is it that we tell useless lies when we’re scared of getting in trouble.”

FInally in the car driving there, SND reeked of alcohol.. Yumao tells the story of how yga, in the backseat, burst out saying “This smell... It isn’t beer.. It’s... Highball. This is Kakubin, Highball whisky.. The beer was Kinmugi.. So... Torikizoku (the name of a bar chain).” Actually hitting the mark on what SND drank yesterday. SND “WTF.”

ygarshy is now the self-proclaimed ‘Highball detective’. ●Back to the show....! SND “Everybody it’s 11/11, what does that mean!“ Crowd “It’s bass day!” SND “Well then ygarshy, do your thing!” yga *>>BWOON<<*

The date 1111 resembles the 4 bass strings, thus the excuse for celebration! ygarshy also did a seminar for a bass week if that may pique your interest..: Here. SND tweet "Osaka concert: complete, thank you kindly. I'll see y'all next week then."

16 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 11/14/2019 at LIQUIDROOM in Tokyo prefecture

I’ll make a separate special post including all of Nishimaki’s photos etc., but for now it’s all mostly on my twitter... https://twitter.com/boat_manju/status/1195265416249139200

17 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 11/17/2019 at SPADE BOX in Nagoya prefecture

To dodge redundancy I’ll omit some of the happenings, as they reflected on the tour again and many topics were recycled from Tokyo. MC time! ●Yumao picked on SND again for saying “I have to sing and haven’t played a show in a forever unlike you hustlers, I have it a million times worse than you guys, I’m on a different level~~.” back when he was nervous on the first day of the tour. Yu “But... didn’t you once sing in a SOPHIA cover band?”

SND “We only were up for like 30 minutes, and we did just a bunch of L'Arc 〜en 〜Ciel or LUNA SEA or Visual kei kinda stuff.” Yu “Visual kei.. did you wear makeup!?” SND *laughs it off* “I pretended to be Mitsuru Matsuoka for 2 shows and that was the end of it.…“ ●When they were at the vacation cottage watching historical drama on TV... Despite yg seemingly not-watching and playing bass, to their surprise after he told them “That was funny”.  SND “yga never stops practicing huh” Yu “I could never watch TV and play drums." SND “Guitar might work huh.” Yu “Last show I had told everybody to feel free to ask me on Twitter about how to use the mobile battery we’re selling as merch, and someone did!” SND "I questioned how many interactions he got and.. It was a whopping one. One! *laughing*” Yu “They even told me ‘I can’t believe you replied!’” ●SND story time. He talked about how he first came to this city of Nagoya back when he was 17 or 18. He was born in Ishikawa prefecture and he passed the regional teem music tournament there, so he came for the south-east coast tournament. It was only his voice and acoustic guitar up on the loft, and he went home with no prizes but. After some thought he realized that was the beginning of his music career. What he felt up on that stage is still burned into his mind, and has kept him going all this. So being back in Nagoya, singing up on stage, feels like fate. “Our journey is ending for now but, we’ll be back. As long as we’re alive, we’ll be back.” And he sounds like Leader at the end.. Leader would say that..

●SND “It’s time ygarshy-kun! The Kirin Challenge Cup, it was Columbia VS Japan right, give us a comment on Japan’s smashing defeat of 0:2!”   yg *>>>angry BWOOON<<<* SND tweet “Nagoya concert complete, thank you. We performed footloose and enthusiastic, I hope nobody got hurt. See ya next time.”

18 Hitorie’s Hitori-Escape Tour, 11/18/2019 at Umeda Club Quattro in Osaka prefecture

The finale! Ahh the 18th show. What a long journey, but somehow it felt short.

●Yu “This show was an add-on, so it sorta feels like a bonus stage y’know. Normally I put a lot of attention into keeping my performance, my feelings as flat and stable as possible but, today.. I just scattered emo around.” SND “I feel ya haha.” Yu “Concerts are tricky!”

●SND “When we’re traveling the country, we see people smiling, people crying, people who have a face like they have no idea what to do with themselves, there’s just… so many different people, and every one is so beautiful. Every time a show ended I would go name-searching on the internet because I wanted to know what everybody thought, and just. Seriously, thank you. Thank you for mustering up the courage to come see us. With 18 concerts on our backs, we managed to shape this into something real. We’ve come so far and— Yuma, pops in like he’s feeling embarrassed or nervous or something, “Uhmm-” SND “Oi….!?” *collapses to the floor* “C’mooon I was just in the middle of something!!!”

Yuma “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to butt in-“

SND “It’s fine hahaha You’re always like this, I’m used to it hahahaaa” SND *on the verge of tears*→ Yumao *does his Yumao thing*→ Everyone  :') ●
Yuma “After all this time we figured out the trick to ygarshy too, even though he’s always stoic, right! But when he’s doing something bad or bullying, he has a HUGE smile! Especially when he’s bullying Shinoda, he’ll grin from ear to ear.” SND “Piece of shit I won’t forget what you’ve done to me. This bastard smiles the most when he’s the assailant”.   yga *Takes out his camera and begins to record SND*

Yu “See, he has fun in his own way!”

*Records Yumao twice, Yumao poses with both hands making the peace sign*

*Records the crowd* Yu “SND and I are always chatting it up about something right, but sometimes an hour or so later after we talk, yg will come over to me when I’m alone and tell me his opinion. ‘I think this I think that. Yumao you said it well earlier, you did well’… But... It’s, it’s okay to join in on the conversation too ygarshy..!” ●Onto merchandise chat!

Merch is currently available online now!!! The English site is here, but as most items are out of stock there, the original Japanese site is an option if you have access to proxy shipping, here! http://shopping.deli-a.jp/artist/hitorie.php Beware that the mobile battery cannot make it over the border due to restrictions, so even if you order it from the JP site, a problem will most likely emerge...

*Yumao poses to show off his hoodie, flops the hood up and down to show how the letters on the back appear.* *Points at ygarshy wearing the black shirt*

Yumao “The friction highlighters, if they get put in the drying machine or make contact with heat the ink will disappear! But if you put them in the refrigerator then it will come back! It’s a mystery~“ Yu “Then also the pouch... Ah where’d it go where’d it go..” Staff “Behind your drums!” Yu “I found it! I put my little drum supplies in here, it’s great, I never lose anything. The tote bag is convenient too! Throughout the tour I’ve been using it to carry my change of clothes and things.” SND “The bleach acid-washed denim was such a good idea, it looks adorable.” *Yu heads back to his drums* *yg picks up his bass* SND “Are we playin’?” Yu “Are we still talkin’? SND “We have the choice to just not do encore, right?” *yg on standby* *Yuma walks back to the microphone *yg puts his bass down* SND “Ahhhhh, that’s heavy to keep isn’t it, just keep it down.” Yu “Let’s goo!” SND “Alright ygarshy-kun.. Once this tour is over let’s drink some good beer!” yg “…?” *The lighting goes red* SND “?!” *Staring at each other doing nothing, yga puts his finger on his bass string* SND “Wait, what?!” yg *>>>BWOOON<<<*

ygarshy: “18 concerts. Thank you for mustering up the courage to come all the way out and see us. Being able to perform Hitorie’s music up on stage, was my pride and joy yet again today."

 SND: “Thank you.”

 Rie’s manager: “Thanks. I’m so proud of them.”

Yumao: Really by virtue of every one who came were we able to marathon this tour. 

I was on the same page as you when this started: totally unsure of how to present myself for these concerts. But halfway through somewhere I started to have fun, the number of smiles increased, and now that it’s over I feel like I lost something, the burdens and something special both.

I’m bad with expressing myself in text so this is all I’ll say.

~~Fin.~~

[39haru-bom]

50 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @janarine - thank you 😄heheh.

I’ve never done anything like this before, so I hope I’m doing it right! Sorry if I mess up somehow.

1. What takes too much of your time?

Animal Crossing (New Leaf). I think I’m spending too much time on my town right now...

2. What makes your day better?

Talking to my best friend, she always cheers me up heheh. Writing, listening to music, and doing something music related too.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I haven’t done much today, but my sister just baked a cake and let me try some, so that was pretty sweet.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Yumenosaki. It’s really the only fictional place I can think of that I’d like to go to tbh. There’s this kid I go to school with that’s basically Tori anyway.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Eh, sometimes (I think). People say I am, but sometimes I don’t think anything I say makes any sense. I do like to help people out though!

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Anxiety.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

I don’t think so. But I do have a lot of very dark and vivid dreams.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Definitely Stray Kids. Not only their music and lyrics inspire me and help me get through things, but also them themselves - idk I look up to them a lot.

Bolbbalgan4/BOL4 and SHISHAMO influence me a lot musically as well.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Nope. I mean, I’ve had a crush before, but I wouldn’t call it love.

10. What’s your dream date?

I’m not sure, but maybe either something at home where it feels cozy, or maybe at a cafe? Idk I just really like cafes.

11. What do others notice about you?

Maybe my height? I used to have teeth that stuck out, but now I’m just pretty average.

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Biting my lips. I really hate that I do this.

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Referring to the person I used to have a little crush on - yes, we’re pretty good friends.

I’m pretty sure anyway.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

None. I don’t think much about dating.

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

There are around 3500 on my main playlist. I’m always listening to music, and I’m always adding more.

16. What instruments can you play?

I’m learning to play ukulele. I really like playing it heheh, and I’m going to start writing my own stuff soon I think.

I was learning guitar, but I lost interest and had no patience for it.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

I have more memes and reaction images saved on my phone than anything else (whoops). But putting those aside, I have a lot of pictures of Mika Kagehira. But if we’re talking about real people, I’d say Stray Kids - Hyunjin, Felix and Chan to narrow it down.

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

I definitely want to visit Italy and see where my family comes from! I really want to learn more about my family and Italy.

19. What is your zodiac?

Libra! ♎️

20. Do you relate to it?

Yeah? Sometimes I guess.

21. What is happiness to you?

I’m not very good with words or my thoughts, but happiness to me is enjoying and embracing what you have, whether it be people, objects, or anything else, and accepting yourself? Enjoying the nice moments you have with people maybe. I guess that’s basically my take on true happiness.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Hmm, maybe a little bit right now. But I’m trying to stay positive for those around me.

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

I had this really good friend a couple of years ago. She always looked out for me, made sure I wasn’t alone in class, etc etc. it was a bit hard for me to sit with her sometime though, seeing as she was in that more “popular” group of people. I started sitting with other people after a bit because I thought that it’d be easier on her, but I still regret not talking to her about it first. I’m not very good with communication. We don’t talk anymore and that kind of makes me a bit sad, but that’s my fault, and I know that. I’m trying to become a bit better now, and it’s taught me to take other people’s feelings into consideration (I believe that people are in your lives sometimes to reach you something, so I guess this is one of the things that she has taught me).

24. What’s your favourite store?

In general, Big W 😂 because I always find myself wanting to go there for some strange reason. Either that or Temt or QBD Books.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I guess it depends on the situation, but ultimately it’s a person’s own choice whether or not they want it, it’s not my position to tell them yes or no.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Yes! I’ve always had an idea of what I wanted to be on it, but recently I’ve started to write one :)

27. Do you have a favourite album?

I don’t really have a favourite album, but to name a few that I really like are any of Stray Kids’ albums, MCR’s The Black Parade, and Broken Iris’ “The Eyes of Tomorrow” (sorry it takes me back to my “emo” days).

28. What do you want for your birthday?

I don’t really want anything in the aspect of presents, but I’d really like to have dinner with my family. I really like to spend time with my family.

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

A lot of people think I’m the shy nice girl, which I guess is true-

Until I get comfortable with you, then I’m really hyper and loud heheh.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Well, I’ll be turning 16 this year. I don’t know what age I seem like to people right now, but I know that when I was younger I looked a lot older than what I was.

I was always really tall for my age, but I think now I’m not that tall in comparison to some girls in my grade.

31. Where do you keep your phone while your sleeping?

I usually keep in one of my drawers next to my bed. I don’t like to keep it right next to my head while I’m sleeping, but I like to have it close to me incase I need to write something down, especially if I get an idea for something I’m writing.

32. What word do you say the most?

Definitely “like”. I always say “like, uh” a lot, and also “you know?”, although that’s two words.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

As of right now, maybe 17, maybe 18? I think I’m still a bit too young to date anyone older than that, but when I’m a bit older, a 3-4 year age gap would be fine I guess.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I’m not sure. Maybe 15? I don’t think I’m really ready for dating anyway... lmao.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

My family and friends when I was younger used to say that I should be a model? But I think they were just being nice. I also think it was because of how tall I am.

I also was told once or twice that I should be a nurse, since I care a lot for people I guess. I don’t think I have a real interest in the medical field though, I think all of my interests lie in the creative sort of field.

With that being said, my dream job is actually to be a florist :)

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

I don’t really have a favourite genre, or a specific genre I listen to. I listen to lots of different genres in lots of different languages, as I like to keep an open mind- I‘m really interested in other cultures and countries, especially their languages as I find many languages very pretty.

But if I had to narrow it down, then maybe indie and punk rock?

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I’m going to be 100% honest-

Hands down, I’d stay in Australia. I’m sorry, I just really love my country. It’s my home after all.

But if I had to choose another country, then maybe Italy or Japan?

38. What is your current favourite song?

There are too many songs that I absolutely love.

But my absolute favourite song is Awkward Silence by Stray Kids. It always makes me happy somehow whenever I listen to it.

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I started this blog almost a year ago to try and make friends that are into the same things as me, but unfortunately due to my anxiety and nonexistent social skills I could never bring myself up to speak to anyone.

I started posting and reblogging things on here not too long ago though, so I guess that’s when I finally started using this blog.

40. What are you excited for?

I’m going to America in a couple of months. Although it makes me extremely anxious, I’m kind of excited for it still.

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I’m 50/50. Sometimes I chat people’s ears off, but then sometimes I like to listen to people and people always say that I’m a good listener. I guess it all depends.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

I did some unfinished homework. I’m on school break right now so I’m trying not to be lazy for once.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I literally just want to spend time with my family heheh, I don’t ever really have anything to ask for for Christmas or my birthday.

44. What classes do you get the best grades in?

Japanese. It’s the only class that calms me and gives me sanity (usually), so I’m actually able to focus for once.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

8. I’m feeling pretty all right, since school holidays just started, but for some reason I constantly feel stressed and worried, and I’m always tired since I get hardly any sleep. But my plan is to

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully I’m a florist heheh.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

I’ve never had a love related heartbreak, but the first time I ever felt my heart shatter was in year 4 when I was told my great grandmother passed away. I was really close with her and I still miss her a lot.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

I’ve never really thought about this. Should I be? Whoopsie.

Maybe late twenties? I’m not sure.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

There were MANY things I wanted to be when I was little.

I wanted to be a figure skater, ballerina, model, preschool teacher, nurse, police officer, artist of some kind, writer, singer, actor, dancer, and the list goes on. But I really regret not working towards being a figure skater when I was younger, I really wish I was one heheh.

50. What do you crave right now?

Proper sleep.

I’m tagging @kyoko-yuuki :)

I only have one person to tag, don’t have many mutuals lol.

Sorry it took me a bit to finish it, I’m not really good with a lot of things :P

[gourmetbooty]

Katsuhira Yuuta+Shuuta

Hi, I thought I’d make a post about my Tokyo Ghoul oc, Katsukira Yuuta, and his dynamics with Tsukiyama Shuu!

100% japanese, 27 years old, born 17th june, full ghoul, ukaku

wavy brown hair (see Harry Styles 2017), dark brown eyes, full lips, earrings (tiny and black/silver, nothing too flashy), 1,90m tall (6’2” i think??)

pretty fit but not over the top, likes football and sometimes roller skating for fun

small heart shaped mole under his right ear, Shuu loves it

bisexual, realized it when he was 18 but has always been pretty chill about it

backstory: relatively normal/happy childhood, his father died when he was 16 because of the CCG, that’s why he accepts to join GOAT so easily

his mom died when he was 22, she was a very positive female figure in his life 

got along well with both his parents, especially his mom

momma’s boy

dropped out after 2 years of university to help his mom, studied Biology

likes animals and plants

keeps a “bad boy” appearance to seem tough but he’s just really sweet and has a lot of love to give

likes books, most of them are similar to Shuu’s tastes

fav tv shows: the walking dead, naruto, game of thrones, sailor moon

fav animal is polar bear, fav color is blue

he often wears his dad’s leather jacket

considers his motorcycle as his child and calls her Baby

usually cheerful and flirty, especially with someone he likes

has had 2 girlfriends and 1 boyfriend, but it was never something serious

he doesn’t cry often, except with the lion king, the last Indiana Jones movie, the wizard of oz and armageddon

has had an emo phase at 13-15

he doesn’t mind studying, as long as it’s not too much

before joining GOAT he worked at a genius bar in an apple store, he likes computers, phones and tech in general

what he feels for Shuu kinda scares him at first bc he has never felt something like this for anyone, but he quickly accepts his feelings and learn to love him, and he promises to himself that he will help him in any way he can bc he loves this boy so much

knows like 2 words in French but wants shuu to teach him

he just wants shuu to wear glasses and a sweater vest, giving him the professor vibe

doesn’t mind kaneki but he kinda doesn’t like him at the same time for what he did to Shuu

nihsiki and banjou are his bros

has never rly built a relationship with touka

has instantly fell in love with Hinami and after a while he begins to consider her sort of like his lil sister, they bond over disney movies

is a pretty skilled fighter but still needs some polishing, so sometimes he spars with nishiki, naki or someone else, but mostly Shuu

who wouldn’t mind flirting if they weren’t currently fighting

Now I’ll list some headcanons I talked about with @sandypenguin6 !!!

sometimes Shuu wears Yuuta’s leather jacket and Yuuta adores it

after a while Shuu gets more comfortable and initiates physical contact gives Yuuta kisses and sits in his lap

Shuu loves holding hands

he’s never had much physical contact so he glues himself to Yuuta

pirate!Yuuta and mermaid!Shuu is a thing

Shuu would lure him in with singing but he’s too cute to kill so he drags him back to the shore

Yuuta wakes up and sees something disappearing, he wants to know what saved him so he comes back to the shore every day until he meets Shuu

sometimes he goes mailing alone and Shuu follows him in the water

Yuuta: “did you clean your pants with windex bc i can see myself in them” Shuu: “i’m leaving you”

Yuuta uses terrible pick-up lines and Shuu looks at him with murder in his eyes but at the same time he thinks “oh god i can’t not fuck him”

during the first days of their relationship Yuuta is pretty sure it’s not gonna be anyhting too serious, then he wakes up one morning, looks at this beautiful sleeping angel in his arms and thinks “uh oh”

they’d do anything to protect each other

during a fight a dove has Shuu cornered and says “your friend won’t save you now” and Shuu just decks him and yells “he’s my boyfriend you dumb slut”

Mirumo would be so happy his son got over that “goth young man”

he’d be so supportive, even after Shuu tells him Yuuta has a motorcycle

he’d come back a day later with condoms and lube and tell Shuu “you’e now an adult, be responsible” bc he’s not a regular dad, he’s a cool dad

Yuuta would be a little intimidated by him at first but they’d get along really well

he’d show him Shuu’s baby and teenage pictures while Shuu screams in the background

Shuu has told Yuuta some adventures of his Gourmet days, like that time he ore off and ate a councilman’s balls, and Yuuta is impressed

“i also tried to eat kaneki-kun while he ate someone else” “you didn’t tell me you were this kinky”

Shuu feels undeserving at first bc he’s still not over Kaneki and Yuuta deserves someone who can love him unconditionally, but Yuuta shushes him, holds him and kisses his worries away

sometimes Shuu doesn’t cry but he looks for Yuuta, pulls him in bed and climbs onto him like a koala without a word

Shuu is confused because he’s not used to receiving this kind of affection, or affection at all, but he loves it

when Yuuta finds out he makes sure to kiss him and touch him all over to assume him that he’s there

Shuu would be the first one to say i love you! Yuuta has known for a while but didn’t tell him because he didn’t wanna pressure him, but one day Shuu blurts it out and Yuuta pushes him against the walls and repeats “i love you, i love you” between kisses

Shuu manager to get over Kaneki in 2/3 months but he’s still sensitive when he’s around him so Yuuta holds his hand to remino him that he’s there

if they could they’d elope to get married bc Shuu thinks it’s romantic

Kaneki is a little disappointed and he thinks of Shuu as “the one who got away” but he’s happy that Shuu is finally happy

Kaneki is still super important to Shuu and he’s very attached to him, just not romantically anymore

Yuuta feels a little threatened not by the actual Kaneki, but the image of him Shuu has created in his mind, but he gets over that quickly and Shuu has eyes only for Yuuta

Shuu is late for a meeting and when he comes in he looks at Yuuta first and Yuuta knows there’s nothing to be worried about

sometimes Yuuta smokes but he eventually stops for Shuu

Shuu is weak every time Yuuta wakes up with light stubble and begs him not to shave

if Yuuta gets sick he insists that he isn’t and tries to seduce Shuu by seductively rubbing Vaporub on his chest and making noises, and of course Shuu gives in

if Shuu were sick Yuuta would become a super mom

Shuu is a cuddle monster

Yuuta knows that he’s Shuu first boyfriend and he tries to make every experience the best he’ll ever have

“i’m happy i’m your first” “and hopefully the last too!”

as of marriage proposals, Yuuta would think of something super elaborate and romantic but he’d just blurt it ut during a makeout session and tries to ignors but Shuu tackles him and accepts his proposal

the ring is silver with a small diamond in the center

Mirammo would be crying tears of joy, Hinami is super excited and Nishiki jokingly asks Yuuta if he’s really sure, Yuuta looks at Shuu adoringly and says “yes, 100% sure”

a few days later Kaneki calls Shuu and gives him a handmade black yarn bracelet bc he wants to congratulate Shuu and indirectly tell him that he’s sorry

Shuu thanks him and tells him that he has to move on but Kaneki will still be a huge part of his life and they hug tightly

one day when they’re not together yet Yuuta walks in a room while Shuu is working out and doing the splits and Yuuta has an aneurysm

Yuuta tries to play it cool and starts doing lift but he’s showing off for Shuu and even adds groans that sound like sex noises before taking off his shirt and splashing water all over his chest

Shuu starts salivating and he has to get up to wrap his sweatshirt around his waist bc of a “little” problem

the next workout Shuu wears a pair of booty shorts so tiny they might as well be slips and bends over right in front of Yuuta who combusts

hey’d start a seduction contest, seeing who’ll break first

one time Shuu arrived late for a meeting, there were no seats left and sat down in Yuuta’s lap, who can’t concentrate at all

NSFW headcanons!

Shuu is inexperienced so Yuuta always takes it slow and makes sure Shuu is super comfortable

if only Shuu gets to finish and he’s tired, Yuuta would go to the bathroom to finish himself off and come back for cuddles

Shuu loves hickeys

Shuu is loud during sex bc he’s not used to it and it feels so good, so Yuuta is always shushing or kissing him but it doesn’t work and if there’s someone in the rooms next to theirs they hear everything

when Yuuta is behind him Shuu mons louder just so that Yuuta would cover his mouth with a hand and be a little rougher

when he tops for the first time Shuu is always asking Yuuta if he’s okay, if it feels good and Yuuta praises him the whole time

afterwards Shuu complains that it’s too tiring and collapses on Yuuta, who just chuckles and kisses his forehead

Shuu’s flexibility comes in handy

they love leasing the fuck out of each other, both during sex and also with things like making bedroom eyes at each other in public and playing footsie under a table/touching each other's thighs/ass

Yuuta has an unhealthy obsession with Shuu’s ass and more often than he’d like to admit Shuu finds himself with bite marks on his asscheeks

[namhyems]

to open, push down and turn

A lot happened since my last post, so here’s a quick recap.

August: Official start of the long 3-month holiday. I spent most of it tutoring students in the village. I taught a group of primary school students who really tested my patience. I also taught two high school boys as well as two high school girls. I even taught the local bank staff. I cooked for myself every day this month. I would bike to the market early in the morning to beat the rush and to make it in time for my favorite fried rice cakes with bean paste. I became really comfortable with the market and the sellers. So comfortable that they were all slapping my butt at one point and telling me how my boobs were nonexistent. Oh, I forgot to mention that my counterpart and I made a commitment to “exercise” daily with students which really just meant going on a walk to the pagoda at 6AM. With my days filled to brim, the month really flew by.

September: Mid-service training. We had three full days of training at the PC office where we learned a lot more advanced/useful language. This was also the month I visited home! The journey there didn’t even feel that long because I was just so excited. My mom and I kept this a secret from everyone for about three months. Surprising my family and friends was seriously one of the best parts. During my time home, I was reminded how much I am loved and cared for and thought about. I was reminded the importance of community and the value of having somewhere I can call home. Goodbyes weren’t as difficult this time because somehow saying “see you in a year” made it so much better than “see you in two years”.

October: I came back to the last month of school holiday rejuvenated and ready for my final year into service. This time coincided with a Khmer festival known as Pchum Ben which is a festival to respect ancestors and those who have passed. My host family and I visited the same pagoda as the one we visited when I first met them. It was a lot of mixed feelings knowing that so much has happened since that time. Transition back to the village life and back to Cambodia in general was a lot smoother than I thought it would be. I even attended my first Khmer wedding with my host family! This was huge for me because while all other PCVs went to weddings in their first year of service, I went to my first one with my host fam in my second year, lol. ~*~*PC clout~*~*

November: The first day of school ceremony took place on the first day of the month. I went to the ceremony expecting a fairly big ceremony similar to last year but when I arrived, it was two times the size as last year with a fancy elevated stage with a massive sound system. It was a Coachella main stage in the middle of the schoolyard. School commenced the day after and I didn’t know my schedule for a good week. I also started working with two new counterparts - both females! My previous counterpart went to Phnom Penh to study some more. This month I also had the best burger of my life in Phnom Penh. Shout out to Cousin’s Burger. Y’all doin’ it right. I also also had two Japanese friends visit me from Japan!! I prepped myself by binge watching Terrace House and talking to myself in Japanese as much as I could, but wow…when the day finally came, I really felt like I was malfunctioning. I literally had four languages in my brain all trying to come out. I kept imagining that episode of SpongeBob when millions of SpongeBobs in his brain are shuffling through the different drawers in his brain and end up going crazy. Yeah, that was me. But thanks to them, I got to practice my Japanese as well as reaffirm my Khmer and I finally visited Angkor Wat.

December: Six days into December, my umma came to this side of the world!! We visited my love on her little island called Singapore, met her family and friends, and lived my Crazy Rich Asian fantasy out. Not really, because the most exciting things were Donki and mazesoba LOL. Only half kidding. We then came back to Cambodia to officially show my umma where I currently call home. Thinking back now, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea going from the cleanest and most developed SEA country to one of the less developed countries…But I guess it helped with the dramatic effect. Out of everything, though, showing my umma my village and introducing her to my community was such a unique experience and feeling. The one thing everyone kept saying was “your mom is prettier than you!!!!” Why, yes, yes she is. Was that a compliment or a back-handed comment? … I’ll leave that up to you the reader. It’s also really fun now when I talk to my umma on the phone because she actually met these people and she knows what everything looks like. Honestly my appa was more excited than her and he didn’t even come, lol. We also went to Korea for a couple days. The experiences there and the feelings I felt there are too much to describe here, so I might have to save that for another post. But a major highlight was going to Guckkasten’s concert with my fangirl of a mother, hahah. Idk why but I wanted to cry the whole time watching her fangirl. It was just a lot for me to see her finally be able to do what she enjoyed rather than doing something just for our family’s wellbeing. And plot twist, I became a fan. (Omg so much happened in December…I’m only half-way through the month.) Around Christmas time, I got a phone call from medical staff that one of my closest friends was sick with dengue fever and currently in the hospital. They asked me to come keep her company at the hospital if possible, and I told them that I’d be there the next day. Seeing my friend so sick and fatigue in a hospital bed was honestly a huge wake up call. Being sick in this country with no one by our side is probably one of the loneliest things ever. I was able to see her get a bit better before leaving back to the village. Then came NYE which I spent on the islands of Cambodia. Koh Rong was the paradise I never thought I needed. I’ve always been a mountain girl but that was probably because that’s all I ever had in good ol’ landlocked Colorado. Now it’s hard for me to say if I am a mountain person or beach person. It was just that beautiful and relaxing.

January: 2019! The year that seemed light years away has finally arrived. It’s nearing the end of this month and there were just a few things that stuck out. My close friend went back home to America due to her health, and man, that hit hard. I didn’t know how sad and how empty it feels to have a close volunteer go home like that. I couldn’t even say a proper goodbye irl. It put me in a weird thought cycle for sure. This thought cycle also put me in a weird place…I wouldn’t say it’s a bad place. I’m not sure if it’s good either. I’m still trying to figure it out. I even deactivated Instagram because of it. Who do I think I am?! But for now, I think I like where I am now. (Lol, am I Tumblr emo yet?) I’ve been writing random thoughts out since this weird thought cycle so when I feel that I can gather my thoughts on one of these “writings” and actually make sense of it, I’ll try and post it.

But for now, that’s it. That’s where I’ve been and that’s where I am now.

From a weird place,

Sreymin

[pacific-bound-blog]

Saturday, May 13~

Today was the first official day of doing exciting things!! We woke up bright and early to meet at 8:45. It was the first day that we got to eat the hotel’s buffet breakfast, and it was very good today. I had bread with strawberry jam, eggs and sausage, a strange type of yogurt that tasted curiously like cottage cheese???, coffee with gum syrup (I wish we had gum syrup back in the States, it makes coffee taste so good with just a little bit in it), and some beef curry with rice. I noticed that everything about eating is smaller--the servings, the plates and bowls, the cups, the silverware, everything! It’s quite interesting to see since we have such massive servings of everything in the US. I also thought it was interesting that they had beef curry out so early in the morning, but I greatly enjoyed having it for breakfast! I hope that they have it in the buffet again tomorrow. The hotel staff is also very friendly and chatted briefly with us about the breakfast options.

After eating breakfast, I finished getting ready for the day and headed down to the lobby. It was forecasted to rain today, but I thought I would be okay with a light cardigan. It turns out that it was actually raining fairly heavily! So that sucked a little bit! Dr. Overall, one of the professors on the trip, let me borrow his umbrella, though.

We walked through the rain to Tama University (たま大学), a local school with a global studies program that we are interacting with during our stay in ふじさわ. On the way, we ended up bumping into a couple of girls who were part of the group that we were meeting with! They were super nice and took pictures with us before we went into the school.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect with our trip to たま大学. I only really knew that a couple of their students would be giving us a presentation in English (えい語). One of the other students, Kyrah, and I were also going to be giving a presentation in Japanese (日本語), so everyone was going to be practicing their language skills. For my 日本語 class, I also needed to interview some of the students, but we did not have enough time, so I ended up becoming Facebook friends with some of them to finish their interviews later. All of the たま students (大学生) were incredibly welcoming and excited to meet us! Their dean gave us a presentation on what たま was doing to help out with the sailing portion of the upcoming Olympics. It sounds like the students will all be super busy with helping to run the preliminary events and help host the events over the next few years! When he was finished, four 大学生 gave us presentations on website projects that they have been working on. All of these sites will in some way help to make ふじさわ more accessible to tourists from all over the world. One of them was working on an online website for local restaurants to post menus, another was working on a website with places to visit--they all obviously had been working really hard and were proud of their products.

When they had finished, Kyrah and I got ready to present. Kyrah’s presentation was really good, and she had sounded great! I was super intimidated to go after her. I was also worried that my project hadn’t saved correctly to my flash drive (which, spoiler alert, it hadn’t). That ended up not being too much of an issue, though, because I was able to quickly pull up an older version of my presentation that I had saved. The たま大学生 were all pleased with both of our presentations, as they told us after we had finished!

We got to talk to the 大学生 a little bit afterwards, and they gave us a tour of their school! I loved getting to experience a little bit of a Japanese university. Their particular college, which focuses on global studies, has only about 200 people in the programs, but this is a large class size for the school! I thought that was insane. I thought Belmont was fairly small, but たま大学 proved me wrong!

Super cool side story: whenever we were coming back from the tour, one of the students who had presented from the school came to chat briefly with me. I had put in a short blurb about my girlfriend, complete with pictures of us with a rainbow flag, into my presentation. This nice guy (whose name was George) asked me if I was LGBT because he had seen the rainbow in one of the pictures. I, of course, told him yes, that I am pansexual, and he excitedly told me that his girlfriend is bisexual! I was so excited to meet another queer person--albeit vicariously through her boyfriend lol. I know that the community in Japan is not quite as vocal as it is in the United States, which is interesting to me due to the traditional reverence for transgender people in theatre. I was really glad that George had told me about his girlfriend, and I told him to give her a big gay hug from me. I friend-requested him on Facebook, so hopefully he and I become pals. I would love to talk to his girlfriend about her coming out experiences in a country that isn’t the United States (not to insinuate that coming out in America is easy!! bc Trump seems to be making sure that it isn’t!!!). This short exchange was honestly one of my favorite parts of the day, though.

When we got settled in, I got some of the 大学生 to help me out with an interview project that I have to do for my language course. One of them, whose name was Fumito, had mentioned that he too likes Green Day, so he asked if he could hang out with us later today! Those plans ended up working out well--see further down in this post~

But once we made it back to our hotel, with the companionship of a few of the たま大学生, we headed out to get yakiniku (やきにく). This was another highlight of my day! I really enjoyed getting やきにくon my first trip, so I knew that I would enjoy it. We started out with servings of beef tongues, which were incredibly good! They were a little chewy, but otherwise I enjoyed them a lot. We then ordered some servings of pork and beef, which were also great. Everything was seasoned so well, it was incredible. Our table, which was comprised of myself, Kyrah, David, and Dr. Overall, ended up getting three or four more servings of the beef. It was so good and I had no regrets a few regrets. The first time that we were ordering more beef, though I accidentally asked for gyuunyuu (ぎゅうにゅう), which is milk, instead of gyuuniku (ぎゅうにく), which is beef! The waiter was very confused initially, but after some clarification between myself and our tour guide Darren, I realized what I had said and corrected myself.

The rest of the afternoon got weird and confusing because of the rain. We were supposed to visit the home of the author Shimazaki Tozon, but those plans were cancelled because of the rain. We were in the area of Enoshima, though, where the sailing portion of the 2020 Olympics will be held, so we tried to visit there! Again, though, because of the weather, those plans had to be cancelled. I think the ferries weren’t operating, or we would have had to wait a while for one--something to that effect. So we decided to just go back to the hotel, and I was not disappointed with that. It had been a long day of walking.

That evening, we ended up meeting Fumito to hang out and go to karaoke (カラオケ). We went to one of the places near Shonandai Station (しょなんだい駅), where we had met up with him. He was incredibly helpful with setting us up for カラオケ. Basically, what happens at real カラオケ is that your group is given a room where there are a few couches and tables and a television equipped with the カラオケ machine. You have to buy a package with drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) for each person in each room. We didn’t realize this going into the カラオケ experience, so Fumito acted as our translator during that process. He was so helpful, and he really went out of his way to do everything that he could for us. It was like he was acting as a host, even though we weren’t in his home. I’ve gotten the same feelings from most of the people we have talked to, that they are acting as gracious hosts while in their country, particularly the 大学生. We had a really fun time once we got started with the actual カラオケ fun times! We were there for quite some time, and we all really enjoyed ourselves. I felt a little bad for Fumito because he was the newest member of our friend group. He had wanted to bring some friends, but it was too last minute for them to join. I tried to include him in some songs and sang some emo classics with him, as did some of the other kiddos in the groups, and he did seem to have a really good time. He must have, at least, because he wanted to make plans with us again before we left for Hiroshima!

All in all, being the first full day of our excursions, I haven’t really yet experienced culture shock, and I’m very honored by the way that we have been received by the people in Fujisawa. I’m really looking forward to our next day in Fujisawa and our subsequent days in the rest of Honshu!!

Day Two complete 🇯🇵