#I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON.
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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*person has consented to being eaten; they’ve donated their body. they died without suffering. you can cook the meat. you will not get sick from the meat.
bonus: explain why!
#reblog for sample size etc etc#personally i would absolutely try human meat if given the chance#poll#polls#cannibalism#cottons thoughts#pinned#<- insane first post to read if youve only just discovered my blog but i want results!!! i want numbers and sample!!#cannibalism tw
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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WAIT when did he get FANGS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#brushie brushie#i thought i was imagining it but i have compared screenshots and it is true#they gave him a bunch of new animations and just decided to throw some fangs in there too!#unless this is an earlier thing i just missed because i don't pay attention (very possible)#anyway i decided to do one last ten-pull and THERE HE WAS#and his personal story is SO unexpectedly cute oh my gosh#at any given moment crewel is thinking about how much he misses his dog(s)#it is CANON#canon like the fangs (why) (i'm not complaining i just want to KNOW)#get you a fandom where they randomly and with no explanation give a character fangs I GUESS#anyway thank you sensei for validating the mountain of keys i threw into the void for you#i'd assumed he'd duo with grim so it is unfortunate that it turned out to be with a card i don't have and will probably never get 🙃#but it is VERY funny actually that he duos with crowley so i'll forgive him#the only funnier character would be jack#OR NO WAIT actually leona#'which character would be the funniest to --' the answer is always. ALWAYS. leona
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Comfort after a shattered dream
...or at least that's what I imagined💀 After seeing the story update, I think she'd opt for a more subtle action ↓
she's not letting go of his hand
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twst cater#deeva twst#cateeva#my art#something something holding onto the only personal relationship that remained the same in and outside his dream#<- that was the original idea for the first drawing#ANYWAY- effect layers my beloveds they saved that piece bc I wasn't in a rendering mood LMAO#Before seeing his model I thought he only had one side of his head braided#and it stayed like that here bc 1. I didn't feel like changing the lineart and 2. side braids would have looked a lot better 😭#like. top head full of tight cornrows..... gotta protect his beautiful ginger locks or he's gonna look like a medieval catholic monk soon-
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Not beating the allegations.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#jiang cheng#su she#lan qiren#(I oscillated between writing a funny or a serious final comic for season 2 so hard I did both. Enjoy the funny bonus!)#Woah hey! Two characters we have not seen in a long time!#Su She hasn't been seen in 100 comics! Unfortunately LWJ has a taste for his blood. He has only moments left to live.#I honestly thought LQR died (adaption memory blur) and I did *not* expect him to show up here.#That said it does act as a way more personal blow to LWJ's reputation for LQR to be there.#By staying on WWX's side he's not only throwing his reputation to the wind but also facing familial judgment.#It hits so much harder when the choice isn't an easy one to make.#Choosing to stand at someone's side when they *have* actually messed up - when they do have faults and flaws - that's love.#Love is hard work! Love is not low maintenance and good days every day.#Love is being able to say 'I am choosing to bear your weight when things are heavy.' Love is doing that reciprocally.#Which is 100% a real life lesson I am passing on#And also a plea for why it is so important we give credit to WWX's atrocities.#He *did* do some of that shit. He isn't fully innocent and it gives LWJ's choice so much more weight.
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who let her ass into the inspecting room
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Despite everything, it's still you.
#kieran#pokemon#sorry i know this is badly formatted but i only really made it for personal reasons but then thought hey maybe someone else might need this#yes im sorry the first image having a different outfit bugs me so much but it's the only one i had in my screenshots with that expression#why am i even saying sorry JUST TAKE THIS IF YOU LIKE IT and if you don't... bye#hello if you're reading the tags
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On the other end
A small dcaXy/n idea I had
Premis: Y/N works part time in the daycare but doesn't really interact with the dca which doesn't mean the dca didn't notice them there.
Start of the story
Y/N gets messages from an unknown number and decides to answer
They start messaging thinking that they don't know each other at all
They notice that the tone and wording in the messages switches completely throughout the day but get used to it way too fast
Y/N's life is a complete mess right now so Unknown is a pleasant distraction
They never tell each other their real names but use nicknames instead
Both share how they feel often and text about life and just anything that they think of
Someday y/n just calls their unknown friend to share some great news because they have no one else they want to share it with
They don't pick up but call back later
A male voice they have never heard answers. A pleasant one. They talk for hours.
But the voice tells them to only call at night bc he can't talk on the phone while working. But texting is fine
Y/N falls in love over late night phone calls and long text convos
They ask if they could meet up and hang out
He doesn't answer
The connection goes silent
The last thing he sent is "I'm so sorry. But I can't" written only a few minutes after their question (in the middle of the day)
Hours go by and they get no answer from him anymore
Hurt and worried Y/N is in a daze of crying and starring at nothing for the rest of the week
This is when Y/N misses their break bc they stayed in the daycare closet to cry
As they step out the daycare is dark sth that Y/N was never there to see
Then they hear it. The voice of the person they love singing from where the kids are sleeping.
Y/N stumbles through the dark until they reach the kids and lock eyes with the daycare attendant
Moon goes quiet and his eyes betray him and show his shock
Y/N is stunned
"It's you?"
Awkward
#fnaf dca#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#dca au#dca sun#dca moon#dca x reader#dca x y/n#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca au#my art#It would probably be fun to switch perspectives between the dca and yn and make the reader an accomplice in the catfishing >:3#There is still the problem of world building but one could just use the pizza plex as the hub for all of yn's problems#I just think seeing sun and moon brainstorm what to answer to yn's messages hilarious#sun losing it and writing near paragraphs of text and moon only using emotes or short form answers#but then turns around and asks the most personal and thought provoking questions ever#And sun having a panic attack when the call happens standing like an idiot in the middle of the daycare#contemplating if he should just pick and run to their room
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I love talking to rabbis as a recent conversion student because the interaction goes something like, "you're converting? Now?! At this time, at this moment in history?!". And they always talk about this influx of jewish convert students they've seen recently, and it's like...
There's this level of respect I get from rabbis for converting at this point in time, but... Has there ever been a good time to be a jew in the last thousand years or so plus? I'm imagining that rabbis and jews in general back in 1492, back in 1290, back in 1349 would have said the exact same thing. So, really, there is only a time to be a jew. Maybe it's not a "good" time, yes, but it is a time. And to me, that's good enough
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#and to me i *know* that being a jew has historically Not Been a Good Time. i don't ask that of my conversion#i would convert if i had to run one day. in fact i count on that as a possibility#that's why i like simple judaica. if i have to run away with my people it'll be easier with simple bare-boned judaica#i would convert even in the middle of a desert. in the middle of exhile. on threat of pain and death#because to me being a jew isn't about it being a 'good time.' it's about being true and honest about what i need to be#if i were born this same way a thousand years ago i would make this decision again#where you rest; i will rest. where you pray; i will pray. when you weep; i shall weep. and where you die; i will die#i can only speak for myself but i've seen other students with a similar mindset#so in truth it's not the timing that motivated me. it's deeper. it can't be intellectualized. it is a primal feeling - something soul-deep
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plotting out a mountain goats themed road trip what do y'all think
#the mountain goats#i am absolutely not the first person to have made this joke#but i was just listening to going to dallas last night and this thought occurred to me lol#this is only the going to songs available on spotify#i know there are other unreleased songs and stuff#but that would have become very messy and also would've made the playlist difficult lol#also please appreciate that it goes to lebanon twice
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Translation: Junior, I have told you several times that Lily prefers to be single, remember?
Lily is the new aroace icon. That's all.
#Lily#duolingo#aromantic#asexual#aroace#yeah I know she had a crush on a drummer once#but that was just a one time thing#she can still be h/c'd as someone on the aroace spectrum#she has literally never been interested in anyone in that way other than that occasion#spanish duolingo#pride month#aroace pride#first post to reach 1k jeez#it always is a shitpost isn't it#personal headcanon#<- I thought it was clear enough before#apparently not looking at some reblogs#guys this is a headcanon post that I made#nowhere did I say that it was official#the only officially queer characters on Duolingo are Lin Bea and Oscar#Lin is lesbian Bea is bi and idk about Oscar#He never goes out on dates. just likes to paint and platonically hang out with Lucy in his free time#He's also most like aroace. Again: MOST LIKELY aro/ace.#like I know he's one of the “canonically” (officially from the website) queer characters. But Idk what his sexuality actually is.#this is a SHITPOST
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Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze
#guess who got their final scores back ahaaa#class avg was 60 percent 😭#also I have blocked the transformers tag on TikTok that place is a hellhole#bit of a vent here but it’s so crazy#I was talking to a person I didn’t even follow a while back and we were making jokes like yeah the autobots ship megastar#on my fyp a couple days later and I see them reposting “shipping megastar is bad and gross’ like bruh what#I saw one of my followers commenting ‘yeah can’t believe it’s so popular’ I HAVE POSTED MEGASTAR BEFORE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE#I POSTED MY STARSCREAM AND MEGATRON FIGURES RAILING EACH OTHER#I only started posting cause I was like eh if it’s getting banned might as well#these people were poisoning my fyp smh#I’m convinced it’s just a moral superiority thing like all of those people who thought abo was so cringe and then someone was like#‘I secretly like abo’ and everyone agreed that they also like abo and it’s not that weird anymore#Ngl though. it is kinda sad but also kinda funny#sorry for the rant cause I talked about it before and I don’t want to keep on talking about it but those two baffled me#transformers#transformers fanart#megastar#megatron#starscream#transformers g1#megascream#maccadam#its like watching one of those religious couples where one of them is gay and theyre like 'I am working through my gay to be straight'
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Pimple Stickers
#had this thought since last month#finally got to draw it#hehe#i love pimple stickers actually the way they made cute ones makes it less embarassing to wear em#i personally have the star ones#my friends have the cat ones#Idk if skull ones exist#but damn these shits ain't cheap LMAO#only used it during presentations for now#Ghost would find another one where it's bone and jellyfish for her to wear it#teehee#gummmyart#doodle#my oc#cod oc#[oc]Jelly#Gholly#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x oc
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:) hello! :D hope you have a nice day and absolutely do not think of the possibility of one of the last story cards being of silver! and that his groovy will very probably be crying!!! THERE'S SO MANY CRYING PEOPLE IN STORY CARDS LATELY!!! SPECIALLY LIGHT USERS!! I AM!!! SCARED!!!! bc so far we got Lilia and Sebek in the beginning book 7.... so at the end.... so we're missing story Silver... and Malleus is the one with less cards, so they might add one for him... but... the tears... ego.... THE TEARS!!!! EGOOOO!! (LOVE YOUR ART BTW EVERYTIME I GET A NOTIF FROM YOUR BLOG I RUN HERE TO SEE!)
(thank you! 💚💜💚)
YES I am ALSO like...90-95% convinced that we're going to be getting a story card for Silver once we wrap around back to diasomnia. 👀 especially because the way things are going, Silver will be the only character whose dream we haven't seen -- yet???? -- and that just. y'know. makes me wonder!
although I do think it would be VERY funny if he got a story card and the groovy was just "regular Silver except with one beautiful single crystal tear". this is actually a lot coming from him.
(he used up all his emotion yelling at a baby that one time, there's none left for a proper groovy-level cry.)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 10 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 10 spoilers#maybe not quite that far but just in case we'll go with the latest out as of now#i would absolutely love some more expressions for silver though#i saw someone point out once that he only has one smiling/happy animation and now i can't unsee it#LET HIM SMILE MORE#anyway my personal dipping-deep-into-speculation theory is that if we do get his dream and a story card from it#i'm leaning towards thinking it might be some kind of au where lilia never adopted him (and/or mel was never killed?)#because of how absolutely and intensely he was convinced that lilia MUST hate him and blame him for everything that happened#and while sebek punched some sense into him at the time i could see silver's wish being some kind of 'they'd be better off without me' thin#(plus blonde silver would be different enough to justify the card probably)#idk they might go in a TOTALLY different direction but that's where my thoughts are at the moment!#there's gotta be some kind of resolution between lilia and silver at some point at least#i'm just still holding out for someone to actually say the words 'silver vanrouge' please it is all i want
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What I have with you, I don't want with anyone else.
#quotes#personal#feelings#emotions#love#thoughtful#i only want this with you#only you#romantic quotes#love quotes#facts#dumblr
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