#I THINK these haven't been done before but it really has been a long time since I thought about this

[silliest-sideblog]

New Years Kiss

Pairing: Etho/Tango

Length: 1k words

A/N: It's technically New Years here already and I wanted to post this before people are heading out. So here's another little Slabtek fic, this time for new years eve!

Technically it's set after my other fic "Just a little distraction" but it's not relevant. I just wanted to write something indulgent for the holidays.

Happy New Years everyone, hope I can get even more writing done next year!

Etho and Tango sit in the reiling of the steampunk blimp that looms above Tango's still unfinished factory, looking towards where Cub is hosting a large fireworks show with the help of some of the others. There's food and people are talking and laughing.

Almost everyone is there, but not these two.

Of course they love their friends and enjoy spending time with them but it's already so noisy and crowded at times and right now they prefer the quiet of it all. Plus Tango insists the view from up here is so much better than being up close.

They sit, legs dangling, and just watch over the server for a while. It's a comfortable silence around them, without the need to fill it.

Tango got out his notepad occasionally to write down some idea or another that went through his head, telling Etho about it as he writes.

Neither of them has a clock on them and they don't know how late it is.

Eventually, Etho breaks the silence."So when do we get sappy and talk about the past year?"

The smile is audible in his voice and Tango doesn't even need to look up to see the way his eyes crinkle slightly alongside it.

"We don't have to if you don't wanna" he just offers in return. Neither of them is the type for this kind of stuff anyway.

Etho shrug and they sit in silence once more but now that Etho mentioned it once, Tango is of course thinking about it anyway.

"It sure was a year. Thought I would've gotten more done" Tango sighs. He's now looking down at his unfinished factory. "Thought I'd at least have that thing done a bit more done by now. Instead I spent half the year in a hole and the other half fixing this mess." he laughs sorely.

Etho gently kicks against his boot.

"You got everyone addicted to your game. Again." he throws in and Tango knows that it's not just to cheer him up.

"Only took me what? 5 months? And even then it was kind of a mess. All the bugs and so much that went wrong..."

A beat later, "Sorry. Didn't want to spend the last few minutes of the year being miserable" Tango says but he can't help the slight smile in his voice because Etho knows how he is. And Tango knows that Etho doesn't mind; that sometimes Tango needs to talk himself down, let out an annoyed sigh at himself and get to it. But there's not really a getting to it now on New Year's now, is there?

But the sigh already helps enough.

"What about you? Happy with this one?" Tango asks, changing the subject away from himself. Funny thing how neither of them can stand bring the focus for too long.

"Sure, could say that." Etho says but doesn't really elaborate.

Many good things have happened for the both of them. They made games for their friends and had the joy of watching them play and laugh. Struggle and get better.

Etho got over himself and built a roof for his house, something he's at least decently happy with.

Tangos factory is, despite the flaws he's deeply unhappy with, quite the impressive piece of redstone work.

The time they spent with everyone, laughing and learning from each other, watching their friends grow and live alongside them.

Neither of them says it out loud but that's what's been filling this year for them.

Another thing they don't say out loud, not earlier, not right now, is them. For a few months now they have been closer than ever before and since that one afternoon in the redstone of Hungry Hermits...

Things have changed between them, kisses have been stolen away, nights spent at the others, mostly Etho's, base; Tango's starter house being mostly unused at this point.

Still they haven't talked about it. Why would they? It's not like that would change anything.

Or it would. It would put expectations up, and Tango doesn't know if he's ready for that.

What would Etho even expect from him? Dates? Kissing? To tell other people?

Tango is lost in his own thoughts, he barely hears Etho's question.

"How long do you think we still have till midnight?"

"Huh?" Tango looks up at him, taking a moment to register the question and as his brain catches up and he wants to reply, the fireworks are beginning to light up the night sky.

And Tango can't take his eyes off Etho, his face illuminated by the flickering lights all over the night sky.

What would be expected of them? Shouldn't they kiss now?

Does it matter what's expected of them?

"Happy new year, Etho" Tango says with a bright smile as he realizes it doesn't matter.

He can see Etho return the expression, see it in his eyes, his eyebrows, the way his cheeks move under the mask.

Carefully, Tango reaches out and pulls on the fabric and Etho doesn't stop him. He never has.

Slowly their lips meet, as if they're making this something special.

Tango smiles into the kiss. He wouldn't have expected to be the type of person who enjoys something as dumb as a kiss on new years but here he is. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Of course it feels silly and cheesy and neither of them really need it. But maybe that is part of the charm.

Once Tango pulls back he cant stop grinning at Etho. And that grin doesn't vanish when the taller one starts leaning his head on Tango's shoulder, slouching slightly to get comfortable.

Tango's tail wraps around his waist affectionately and he hears Etho say quietly, "Happy New Year, Tango."

[atwas-gaming]

I've had a scenario in mind for a while now about what it would take for Sonic to finally own up to his feelings about Amy. And I think what it would take is...

Shadow.

Well, just plain jealousy and a fear of losing Amy before he even has her. But Shadow would be the best one to instigate it.

First, some headcanons about how they behave romantically:

Amy's maturing and spreading her wings. She's not moving on from Sonic, not really, but it's possible that she's starting to notice other guys. There's some hints in the Twitter takeovers that she may be developing some small interest in Shadow.

Sonic is clearly interested in Amy, and if you pay attention, he has been for a long time. What he's not interested in is marriage- at least, not yet. And Amy is clearly wifey material- she cooks, she takes care of people, she has a caring nature, she's protective, and she's extremely loyal. She's not someone you can use for a one-night stand, you take all of her or you risk shattering her into pieces. She's Sonic's friend, no matter what else he may feel about her, so he avoids any romantic interaction because he doesn't want to hurt his friend.

Meanwhile, Shadow is... not aro-ace, per se, I don't know what you'd call him. He can see that Amy is attractive, but so is Rouge, and Shadow has no interest in Rouge. He just isn't interested in the physical side of romance.

What I think it would take to get Shadow's attention is something deeper, an emotional or spiritual connection.

So here's the Sonamy/Shadamy love triangle scenario that I came up with:

As Amy ages, she feels her desire for male companionship growing stronger. Sonic takes little notice of it, but it doesn't escape Shadow's attention.

Somehow or other, Shadow and Amy end up alone together, probably on a mission or something. I haven't figured out the exact circumstances, but they're together for quite a while. Amy loves to talk to people and get to know them, and Shadow has a soft spot for her, so she's able to get him to talk to her about things that he's probably never told anyone before. And he knows she won't tell anyone about them, either, so he feels safe telling her.

At some point, Shadow realizes, she's done it. She's broken through his barriers, and at the same time, she's calmed the storm of emotions that he's had swirling inside him for 50-odd years. He hasn't felt such peace since... no, not even then. This is something else. He's never felt this way before, and he doesn't have the words to describe it, but he's fallen head over heels for her.

This is why he never lets his guard down, even around the people he trusts most. Because if he lets them in, even a little bit, he might let them in too far. ("Can you see all of me, walk into my mystery, step inside and hold on for dear life.")

He loses control of himself and kisses Amy.

And when he lets go, he instantly hates himself, he starts throwing his barriers back up, because... she's crying. She's crying because she liked it, and she wants more of it, but she's still so desperately in love with Sonic, and she's starting to think she'll never get it from him, so she'll accept affection from just about any man, and it's not like Shadow's unattractive, and, and, and...

So Shadow's raw and open and hurting, he knew before he said or did anything that he was going down a dangerous path, but talking to Amy felt so good he didn't want to stop. And he wants to erase what just happened like it never did. But now he has to be the one to comfort Amy, because this was his fault, Amy was just being the kind and compassionate person she always was and Shadow was an idiot for letting it get to him and making more of it than what it was and losing control. So he has to keep his barriers down for just a moment longer, just long enough to hold Amy and tell her it's not her fault, until her tears finally stop.

It leaves Shadow burning with rage, and as soon as he can, he forcefully confronts Sonic (I imagine Shadow slamming Sonic against a wall or a tree and shouting in his face 😝) and basically tells him, "Amy needs attention from a man, she wants that man to be you, but if you can't grow up and do what it takes, then I'll be more than glad to take your place."

Which scares Sonic good and proper. It's bad enough to think that he could lose Amy, anyway, but to lose her to that faker??? And it finally makes him go to Amy and (very, very awkwardly) ask her to be his girlfriend. And... I'll let y'all imagine the rest.

As for Shadow... he, quite understandably, becomes somewhat aloof towards both Sonic and Amy for a long time after that.

But Shadow's immortal, right? And there's other Amy's in the world. He doesn't have to be alone forever.

Oh, and as for why Shadow would confront Sonic instead of just taking Amy for himself: because he respects both Amy and, especially, himself far too much to do that. He knows good and well she will never be able to fully commit to anyone else as long as Sonic is still an option. If Shadow was to start dating her, she'd go along with it, but it would become a power play between him and Sonic to try to "win" Amy's affections. Shadow has no issues with fighting Sonic over just about anything, but when it comes to his own feelings, he won't stoop that low, and he's not about to hurt himself by playing such a game. I also don't think he would view Amy as "a prize to be won."

[usagiarchive]

angel of the codeine scene — [04] the traveller.

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"I feel sick, and I know that I'll lose, but it's not living, if it's not with you."

sypnosis. [ 1.4k words. angst + ??? ] — the moment you make up your mind to talk to xiao, you can't, because a traveller appears.

It continues on for weeks, Xiao will make sure your basic needs are met, but will be distant outside of that, and you provide surface-level medical practice.

You were beginning to think that the problem with Xiao is more of a mental thing… One you were not sure how to help him with, seeing as he doesn't actually talk to you out of pleasantries and one-sided conversations.

(Other than that, you were still confused as to why he treats you so fragilely, as if you were mortal.)

You've done countless hours of research over what karmic debt is, there's no cure.

You've even met Xiao's previous healer (from which you learned from Verr), Baizhu, who has taken you as an apprentice of sorts as you learn how to construct better medicine and would teach you better methods of more effective medicine.

But it never did help Xiao.

(“Human medicine does not work on me,”) you remember him telling you once after you made him drink a new concoction.

The only upside of this that you've been experiencing is that you've learned how to help others, and that Baizhu has praised you for being such a fast learner.

“You would work better as an apothecary rather than a healer now,” he jokes.

Xiao seemed not to mind going to these lessons, though he was definitely indifferent. As per the contract, you must always be with him, and he must always be with you, to protect and to support, at all times, he never left your side for too long.

Most times, when you were having your lessons, you learned through Baizhu that he was with Ganyu.

“What do they do?”

“Well, they talk, mostly, Ganyu has mentioned to me that Xiao has been more communicative these days,”

“Oh… okay.”

Baizhu notices the tone in your response and puts the mortar and pestle down, “Is everything alright?”

You sigh, “Can I… Can I say something that might be out of line?”

Baizhu’s eyes dart to the window behind the two of you and goes to shut it and the door, “What is it?”

You lean against the table, “I don't know, I feel… useless? I'm not doing anything to Xiao-xiansheng, I learn how to make medicine and you tell me I'm good at it, but… it doesn't improve his condition,”

You see him form a line with his lips, “On top of that, he doesn't talk to me, whenever I approach him, there's this… wall, I feel.”

“He feels so distant and I don't know how to talk to him about it because he always tells me he's fine, and I'm here thinking that “If he's fine, then what am I here for? What use do I have for him if he really is fine?””

“I haven't even figured out how to heal him at all! The most I've done was heal minor wounds, which have been like pulling a tooth out of him, by the way, I had to convince him for a long hour to let me hover my hand over the wound on his stomach to heal it,”

Your mentor sighs, “Patients who do not want help, cannot be helped,”

You put your hands over your face.

“I don't know what to do, I feel so useless,”

Baizhu comforts you for the rest of night, “Have you talked to Zhongli about it? Morax?”

You shake your head, “Should I?”

“It would be best that you do.”

…

If Xiao notices that you are quieter than before when he comes to take you back to Wangshu Inn, he makes no notice of it.

…

You do not get an opportunity to talk to Morax the following day.

A traveller appears.

Lumine, you learned her name through Verr, had worked together with Xiao during a nation-level threat from a few months ago. She returned because she had to ask him for help with something.

She looked like the sun, you thought.

“Adeptus Xiao is not here, Lumine,” Verr supplies, “Just call him,” she says and gets back to arranging papers. You watch her curiously from the kitchen as she goes up to the balcony.

You follow but take a different route to your room and settle for watching her from the window.

“Xiao,” you hear her say and he appears.

“You called?”

Hm.

You close the window and open a book.

The sinking feeling in your stomach has spread to your lungs this time and you think you're the one who's sick. You write this down on a piece of paper and address it to Baizhu.

There aren't any classes today and you prefer not to leave Xiao's side, but you cannot get sick either, asking help from Baizhu on your condition is crucial.

You step out of the room and hear the two still talking. You take a look and see Xiao facing her, back to you, as he listens to the traveller explain her request.

You turn and head for Verr.

“Miss Verr, can you please send this for me? I need this to reach Dr. Baizhu of Bubu Pharmacy by this afternoon,” you tell her.

“Of course, sweetheart, hold on,”

…

Xiao listens to Lumine’s request with crossed arms, the moment he appeared, he hears you close your window.

He swears he's listening to her, but all that occupies his mind is him listening to your footsteps descend down the stairs.

“Xiao? Are you still with me?”

“I apologize, what was it?”

The traveller sighs, “I received a commission to cleanse a hoard of hillichurls, and I would like your assistance, they seem to be… different, they're just like the ones with Starsnatcher,”

“Fine, wait here, I need to retrieve someone,” he says and then disappears.

Xiao catches the end of your request for Verr.

“... reach Dr. Baizhu of Bubu Pharmacy by this afternoon,”

“Of course, sweetheart, hold on,”

“Why do you need to reach Baizhu urgently? Are you ill?” his tone takes a more concerned route.

You shake your head.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes,” you nod.

“Good, we'll be going with the traveller,” he tells you, “ she requires my assistance,”

You nod again, “Of course, xiansheng.”

…

Xiao insists that the four of you (you meet the traveller's companion, Paimon, a bit later) walk, because he doesn't want to risk you, or so he says.

Thankfully the traveller had no problem with walking and had actually proved to be a great conversationalist.

With her, you had talked more in the short time you walked than you had ever talked with Xiao in the past two months.

She had asked you about your favourite things and interests, including stories of her own when you found things you both favored. Paimon also offered you snacks.

It was a nice change of company.

The moment you reached the clearing, Xiao carried you over to a higher point of view, one where you can see him and he can see you, but you were out of harm's way.

“Stay here, do not surge into the field, no matter what,” he always says.

Then he leaves.

You're thankful that Paimon floated over to you moments later.

…

“Why'd you put her that far away? I can barely make Paimon out from down here,” Lumine squints as she tried to spot you from atop.

“She is weak, she will be a liability in battle,” he says.

Lumine winces, “Archons, isn't that a bit harsh? You don't mince your words at all, do you?”

“It's the truth,”

She walks towards the field where a camp has set, “I thought you'd be kinder since you're dating her,” she says, summoning her sword.

“I'm what?”

Lumine stops walking and faces him, the look of horror on his face paints the same look on hers.

“You're not?!?”

“No??”

“What in the actual- you know what, sure yeah, I'm not that surprised, let's talk later, Paimon wants Adeptus’ Temptation for dinner,”

The two approach the miasma infested creatures and began to slay them swiftly. The malevolent hillichurls do more damage than normal ones, but Xiao slices through them with his spear. Killing each and every last one he can see.

Just as they think it's over, a hillichurl appears from out of nowhere and throws a bomb-like concoction at Lumine, and Xiao shields her body with his.

They cough as the powder suffocates them and suddenly Xiao spits out a black jelly-like liquid from his mouth and falls to his knees.

“Xiao!”

usagi's note: happy new year!! ☺️☺️☺️

taglist (open!): @irenedoesthings @cherrysnows @makuzume @smoochi-modest @bvtterflyyy @original-person

@usagiarchive 2024. do not repost, translate, or use for AI, likes, reblogs, and comments (very very) appreciated!!

[twopoppies]

I've only been down this H&L rabbit hole for about a month. I have to admit that the whole story sounds crazy--Two teenage boys whose love has been hidden by the music industry by making them appear to "date" women and creating a fake pregnancy for one of them. However, once I really got looking into things, I am a believer. I don't just look at the pro-Larry websites to make my decisions. I also actively seek out blogs and sources that try to debunk Larry and BBQ (I accidentally typed BBQ instead of BBG, but I think it's fitting....the whole situation is a hot, sticky mess).

There was definitely something between L & H in the 1D days, and there is a possibility that it's still going on. There was something off about L suddenly becoming a party boy and impregnating a one night stand (ok, maybe it was 2 or 3 nights, but what do I know) and his PR team not hiding it and not recommending a paternity test.

I admit that I can see L in the photos of F but I can also see Brett and Austin (I think that's Briana's half brother's name). I've also seen blogs where people post random pictures of a blonde haired boy with L smirk on his face, and those too look like L. I'm still researching about the photos of F possibly being altered to look more like L. I'm assuming if that happened, it was done by someone at the PR firm and they didn't leave it up to Briana and her mom, and that's why the photos look realistic. I don't think that Briana would have the free time to alter photos and also set herself on fire :)

Sorry for rambling for so long, but I just wanted to say that I can see why people who haven't taken the time to really look into the H&L story would believe that it isn't true.

I'm glad you're taking your time and are looking into every angle. I think it's the only way to feel confident about your beliefs in the end.

And I agree, people who haven't taken the time to do the same or aren't familiar with the lengths to which a label will go to get their way would absolutely think the story is insane. I get it.

But when you have a whole group of people who, for NINE years, are saying, "Hey, there's something really fucked up here," it might make sense to do just the slightest bit of digging before simply accepting what random people on the internet say.

[rosetinted-escape]

I finished the game on Sunday, so here's my thoughts. There WILL be spoilers under the cut right up to the end of the game, so don't read if you haven't finished yet!

Seriously MAJOR STORY SPOILERS for the entire plot of Veilguard including the Lucanis romance. Also LONG LONG LONG post lol.

Okay so I played a trans man rook. He was a shadow dragon mage. I used the masculine British voice.

Despite this, bc I knew I wanted to romance Lucanis, I sacrificed Minrathous. I would recommend against doing this, just bc I think you miss out on a good chunk of shadow dragon stuff if you do. In my next playthrough where I romance him, I'll probably be an Antivan Crow.

Generally though I loved the game. The way I play DA is I do the stuff I want first playthrough so I can get the main story and then go back and do the rest later. This playthrough I did Lucanis, Neve and Taash's personal quests. I sacrificed Bellara and Harding and Emmrich also died bc I didn't do his quest (oops). My favourite characters are Neve and Lucanis.

Choosing between Minrathous and Treviso was a really hard choice and I wasn't expecting it so early on in the game. Ultimately, I think in most of my playthroughs I will choose Minrathous, but this time I chose Treviso. That is a ROUGH choice if you're playing a Shadow Dragon. Both Neve and Lucanis make good points as to why you should save their city, and both have pretty devastating reactions if you don't.

Overall story

I really enjoyed the story, I felt it was a good carry-over from Inquisition that made sense and there was a good amount of characters from previous games and the characters who appeared made sense.

Weisshaupt was an absolutely BRUTAL quest. A lot of Grey Warden related stuff I found much more challenging than other parts of the game (eg. confronting the Gloom Howler). It made a lot of sense though, and I like that you don't and can't 'win' that quest. It's fucked whatever you do, whatever choice you make. The conflict between Lucanis and Davrin following as well is brilliantly done, and makes a lot of sense. Davrin's conflicted feelings about not dying when he killed the archdemon are also really nicely done, and make a lot of sense given what we know about Grey Wardens. I imagine for people who sacrificed either Alistair or the Hero of Ferelden there are also some feelings there as well!

Ice and Fire completely fucked me. I initially tried to do this quest at a level 25. This was a mistake. I was stuck for like an hour before I finally gave up and went to do some other stuff first before going back around a level 28-29 ish. It's a brilliant fight though and the almost-killing of Ghilan'nain was really frustrating! I thought we finally fucking had her!

The Endgame is honestly where this game really shines. I feel like there's a huge tone shift here where the game becomes much darker. I feel like all the end of act quests have this, but endgame is something else. I truly cannot describe the way I felt when I killed Ghilan'nain and was then thrown into the fucking fade prison! Especially seeing Lucanis dead on the floor as it happened, and then him turning into Varric. So well done. Hearing the voices of those you sacrificed ridiculing you and blaming your for their deaths is beyond brutal (and there's no way to avoid the sacrifices!). The feeling of hearing Varric in the fade as well and realising what this must mean. Finding out that VARRIC HAS BEEN DEAD THE WHOLE TIME!?!?!? I was FURIOUS at Solas.

Of course, eventually you get out and discuss next steps and this is when you get the 'proper' Lucanis romance scene. I'm going to talk about his romance properly, but this scene was so beautifully written and I absolutely adored it.

When I finally fought my way through Minrathous and met up with Solas again, I was RAGING at this bitch. 'You must trust me' be SO fucking for real. My one small issue here is that you can't choose not to trust him. You can be angry at him, but ultimately you do kind of have to do what he says (which no sane person would do).

The final fight was a little lacklustre for me. Overall I found Weisshaupt and Fire and Ice were more challenging for me than most, if not all of Endgame, but that's fine honestly, as I found similar things in Inquisition and also Zelda Breath of the Wild (Thunder blight vs Ganon was ridiculous), so it's not exactly unheard of in video games.

And then MOTHERFUCKING SOLAS comes along, and tries again to tear down the veil AGAIN. I personally chose to trick him with the other dagger. I found it to be a really satisfying end, to have finally one-upped him once and for all. My current playthrough I'm aiming to redeem him just to see what happens, but I honestly don't really think he deserves it. I do enjoy his character, and he is very complex, but ultimately he IS a villain. From what I've seen, the 'redemption' is him going to the fade willingly (and possibly taking a romanced Lavellan with him). I like both these endings for him, because he is ultimately helping save the world, which is what he claims he wants to do (which I still kind of have some doubts about), it's just about whether he goes willingly or by force.

Characters, Quests and Interactions

I really liked the characters for the most part. Some of them I couldn't get super into (personally Emmrich and Bellara), but I felt the same way about some characters in Inquisition (never really got into the Iron Bull or Solas or Vivienne, though I'm going out of my way to interact with Solas more in my current playthrough and DAMN he just lies right to your face doesn't he?).

I do wish the interaction worked more similarly to Inquisition in that you can just go up to people to say hi and then leave. I don't know why, I always just thought it was nice.

As I mentioned before, my personal favs are Lucanis and Neve. I love a character so involved in fighting oppression and not always playing by the rules to do so (hence why I love the Shadow Dragons as a concept). She's also really quite funny and sarcastic and takes you to skip stones on the docks! Very cute no notes. She's committed and dedicated and does not take shit, but we also get to see her scared and vulnerable, which is important in any character.

Lucanis was written really well imo. I'll get to his romance in a bit, but overall his character arc was really interesting. Going into the fade to fight through the mental prison he's constructed for himself and convince him he's worthy of love and care? 10/10 no notes.

Taash's quest was honestly devastating. Came out to their mother (who they already have conflict with due to not being qunari enough and not fulfilling expectations, not being careful enough with their fire), wasn't accepted. To be expected, if you meet a queer character's parents in game, this seems to be the case (LOOKING AT YOU HALWARD PAVUS!! FUCK YOU!!!). She's KIDNAPPED, you go to save her and immediately after she demonstrates the beginning of understanding and accepting her child's identity BAM she's murdered. There's then a really important conversation with Taash about grief and how it feels different when there is a big part of you that the dead person didn't know about/fully accept, which I'm sure hit home for a lot of people. One thing I've found slightly disappointing is that Taash's entire struggle is reduced down to just being non-binary by some people, when really it's about identity as a whole. Can't say I'm surprised because people did exactly the same with Dorian (he's gay, and that's a big part of his story, but it's also about combatting stereotypes/challenging expectations, dealing with family conflict, not living up to familial expectations). Again, not surprised, but I wish queer people in media weren't constantly reduced down to only their queerness.

-The convo before the final battle. Just gorgeous. 'I assumed you know my heart bc it beats for you' 'tell me this ends with me asleep in your arms and I will kill any God you ask'. I also like that he does actually say the words 'I love you' bc Dorian never does that and I think it's important for characters like them, who are not emotionally vulnerable for much of them game, or who struggle to be at least, are able to eventually. My main (and only) gripe with the Dorian romance is that, and that when you're in your room with him after the party he literally says 'you're incredibly dull and I hate you. I hope this ends soon' and OBVIOUSLY he's joking, but it was kinda sad.

Lucanis Romance

I've seen a lot of opinions about the Lucanis romance, some good some bad, so here's my thoughts as well.

Admittedly, me and a friend looked up the pacing, because I was about halfway through the game and not much had happened. Initially, I did feel disappointed and frustrated at the results. I was used to romancing Dorian; sprinting to Redcliffe at the earliest opportunity, picking all the flirting options, running to shout at his dad (once again, FUCK YOU HALWARD PAVUS!!!!) and then that's the romance started.

However, knowing what we know about Lucanis' experiences and trauma, the way his romance progresses makes a lot of sense. He's joined you STRAIGHT FROM A TORTURE PRISON and was also beaten by his grandmother. It makes total sense that it would take time for him. His romance progresses like this (roughly if I've got the order right):

-Coffee with the crows. You argue with his cousin and then you both get a little drink. You talk about last vs first kisses and what coffees suit each kind. He remembers your favourite drink. This is also where you come out to him if you play a trans character. This is the earliest of all the romances I've seen.

-Post-Weisshaupt. There will be an almost kiss. I LOVED this scene, much more than the other 'almost kisses' with other companions. It makes a lot of sense that he interrupts himself and leaves the situation. It's frustrating for the player I guess, but I think it just shows how fearful he is about allowing himself to have feelings for Rook, much less act on them.

-Post-Fire & Ice. He'll be cooking a meal, and he'll make a dessert specifically made to go well with whatever you told him your favourite drink was. At this point you'll confirm your romance, but no kiss.

-At some point (I think at the end of his personal quest) there's also a coffee date and spite is there also. I saw some people say it felt like you were third wheeling with spite but I didn't get that at all personally.

-Potentially controversial bc I know people often don't like fade quests (and fr fuck the fade quest in origins that is the bane of my existence), but the one for Lucanis HOLY SHIT incredible. I still don't really understand how it happened, but I loved the concept and the overall way it went.

-FINALLY, once you escape the fade prison, you'll get a kiss. This is an absolutely gorgeous scene; the writing is brilliant, the VOICE ACTING is incredible. The emotion in both Lucanis and Rook's voices is just... I have no words. It's so emotional and intimate. I am a Dorianmancer through and through, but this scene holds a close second. 'Would you talk to me? Your voice is a comfort.' 'I thought I'd never see you again.' So airy and despondent, like he'd truly given up hope holy SHIT.

References to previous games/returning characters

I thought there were as sufficient references to previous games as there realistically could be without the use of the Keep. I do wish there were more, and I have a few more characters it would have been nice to see/be mentioned.

Obviously I'm biased, but I'd have liked more Dorian. I also think a lot of the characters I'd have liked to see again wouldn't have worked without the keep. I'd have liked to see Zevran to perhaps offer some insight as to what happened with the crows and why they're not as bad anymore for some reason?? Was it him? Did he just kill everyone making it like that? It would have been nice for that to be addressed.

It would have been nice for the HoF and Alistair to be mentioned at ANY POINT in ANY of the grey warden quests and frankly I think it's weird it wasn't. Regardless of who was sacrificed or left in the fade or whatever, they still single handedly ended the last blight at like 20 so. Idc.

I've not played DA2 yet, but I'd have liked to seen/heard from Fenris relating to the shadow dragons.

I also (perhaps controversially bc I know lots of people hate him) would have like to see/hear from Anders.

Choices from previous games

This was/is majorly controversial that they only carried over 3 decisions. I'm not TOO bothered about it, but I wish there had been more. I think how the game played out would have worked as a default world state, but other decisions could/should have been included.

I think the main issue for me is that the choices you DO make have almost no impact on the game other than passing dialogue. For inquisition remained/disbanded its the Inquisitor talking about how they still have all their friends. Romance is literally just a letter??? Not even mentioned by name by the Inquisitor, Solas, Dorian, Varric OR Harding. The Inquisitor calling Dorian a "friend" even if he romanced him?? (Which I do kinda get cause rook is just a random kid and Dorian is a Magister with responsibilities, but come on). I will say though Dorian's letter just... perfection (and the few others I've seen where incredible too).

Where I think they REALLY could have played it better is whether you vowed to stop or save Solas. Imagine Rook trying to kill Solas, but a sympathetic Inquisitor stops them or vice versa. Not saying Rook should have to fight the Inquisitor by any means, but I'm sure there would have been a way to do it so that choice ACTUALLY mattered rather than rook just being able to completely make that choice.

Seeing people whine about Dragon Age: The Veilgard in YouTube comments sections about the fact you can give your Rook pronouns and top surgery scars.

I am about to make the GAYEST most TRANGENDER Rook ever. That mf is gonna have blue hair and pronouns. He WILL be a mage, and he WILL be romancing Lucanis.

[letsbesharkfriends]

ohhh this blog is six months old now :D here are some memes that have been in my drafts since July

(Credits below)

tags found on @ao3tags

it's the one scene you know which one I mean, the one that haunts your dreams

Dentistry as torture

Brotherly Bonding, Blood and Injury

Kidnapping, On friendly terms

The plot is pretty much kissing

they're going to either punch each other or make out

inappropriate use of sports lingo

why is everyone adorable or a murderer or both

they’re literally chairs, but then again they’re not, just know they love each other, yes i made it porny, not with the chairs oh my god

no one here knows how to deal with heartbreak legally

Violence, Death, Cats

(I don't know anything about these fics, just crediting authors for the tags)

[polkadotpatterson]

okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:

Fic about the ending

Abner fic

Simon's Quest

secret fic(s) :)

get the Talkers exchange set up

Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.

[noxtivagus]

yk i still haven't done ffxiv 6.3 n the curiosity n anticipation is still driving me. crazy. a bit. yes.

[plushie-lovey]

I wish I could take my plushies with me to cool places and take cute pictures of them there. Sadly I don't go out often, and on the very rare occasions when I go, its with friends who'd probably think I'm weird for toting around a plushie to [insert activity here]

[moneygoblin04]

Feeling B A D

[teaboot]

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

[foone]

I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"

But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.

Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!

I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.

Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.

Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)

And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.

You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.

So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?

My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.

(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)

[youryanderedaddy]

tw: female reader, obsessive behavior, captivity, fantasy lore, abuse, murder mention, suggestive (?)

"You seem to be upset."

He's leaning against the window not too far away from you. Not too close as well - just far enough for you to feel at ease.

"Aren't you a mind - reader." You respond under your breath, trying to focus on the book you're currently reading - but the letters are escaping you, and you find yourself re-reading the same paragraph for the third time. He sighs, much like a disappointed father, before stepping towards you. And if you flinch just slightly, he doesn't pretend to notice or care.

"What is wrong, my flower?" The man gestures theatrically, soft velvet voice unbecoming of the monster he is flowing easily into the open air. You don't know what to say, really. It's been two years - or so you think, there is no way to keep track of time in this kingdom, not that time goes the same way in the elfen world as it does in the human, yet the part of you still capable of logical thought seems to think so. Two years, and there is very little you haven't already said. Very little left to be said, so your conversations are mostly rehearsed repetitions of what you already know. What you already fear - that you're going to die here. Or even worse. That you've become incapable of aging, so very consumed by this foreign land you detest that you've given up death for a life of boring, purposeless immortality.

"Don't I shower you with lavish gifts?" The noble moves closer, stalking towards you - observing you as if you're a butterfly pinned to a wooden frame under a microscope. "Don't I buy you the shiniest jewels? Not even the queen herself owns such sparkling emeralds." He scoffs, painfully used to your lack of response. You clear your throat, turning a new page - having little to recall about the last. It's completely meaningless just like all the other pages in all the other books you read. How funny, you think. In that distant, dreamy past of yours you were too busy to read - busy with work, busy with family, busy with friends. Busy with life. Now nothing gets in the way of your reading, you have all the time in the world - but there's no one to share the knowledge with. No one to spoil the ending. No time limits. No goal to it all, no final destination. So you read, and you soak the pages with salty tears not remembering a word.

"I am grateful for all the treasures you give me, my Lord." You answer nonchalantly, keeping your pointer at the end of the paper in a desperate attempt to find the sentence exactly where you left it off. You can feel him move closer to you - and the only indication of your growing fear are the shivers that travel down your spine with the beat of your violently full, thumping heart.

"Don't I provide you with all the entertainment your little human heart could possibly bear?" The duke clicks his long sharp nails together once against the other - an ugly metallic sound echoes deep into the ceiling reminiscent of a dying forest clow. "There has never been a lack of wine or music or dance in my court. I've gifted you more golden dresses than you can wear in this life. I've written you more poems than you can read." He keeps going, describing every little thing he's done for you, despite the fact that you've never asked for any of it.

"I admire your taste for indulgence, my Lord." You repeat almost automatically, the praises sitting on your tongue just waiting to be spilt from parted honey lips. Your eyes are glued to the book, but you've given up on reading long ago. Now you're simply trying not to cry - focusing your eyes at one word at a time and blinking repeatedly, manically, feeling as if the world with end the moment you let him see your weakness. You can't believe you still have so much pain in you - enough to feel loss and anger and, what's even worse, hope. Hope that one day you'll be free again.

"And tell me, flower—" His fist wraps around your low ponytail, forcing you to look up at him and meet his eyes for the first time tonight. What's staring back at you might as well be the bottom of the ocean itself, misty and dark, cold and unknown. Human eyes convey so much affection - so much care that you can never mistake it for anything else. With elves it's different - you can spend centuries looking for a hint of kindness, and you'll only get lost in those beatiful bottomless pits. Shiny and sparkling and completely empty. "Don't I give you love? Don't I embrace you tightly every night?" His voice lowers dangerously, barely above a whisper.

"I don't understand what more you could possibly want. Should I prove myself to you? Should I slay a dragon for you? Perhaps I could tie the heads of your enemies with a pretty bow and give them to you as a wedding gift, hmm?" He's babbling incoherently, nails digging into your scalp with unyealding grip. "Would that finally, finally make you happy, beloved?"

"No, no, please let go." You cry out in agony, wriggling out of his hold - but he's too strong, too massive to move. "I'm happy, I'm—" You sob pitifully, weakly pushing at his chest. "I'm happy with you. Please, you make me so happy, just please let go. And please don't hurt anyone."

He slowly pulls away, chest heaving in and out wildly. The scariest part is always his face. It remains unbothered - cold and defined like a statue of a god, his true feelings hidden by a mask of barely contained rage.

"You're happy with me?" He raises an eyebrow, foot stomping on the ground impatiently. You nod hesitantly, too shaken up to comprehend what you're even agreeing to. "Then prove it. Show me just how happy I make you." He grabs your wrist, pulling you face-first into his hard chest. "Do it, and I might reconsider my other more... inhumane methods of courtship." His lips twist into a cruel smirk. "And may the Gods help you."

As you sink to your knees you try to think of what book to read next - but no title comes to mind.

[sturngirly]

–‘Paper stars’– Chris sturniolo.

in which... your boyfriend chris finds out you've got a praise kink.

warnings: none, suggestive at the end!!

‘hi lol, this is based on this meme chris reposted on instagram stories’

– ... you think is weird? – i ask in fear of freaking out my boyfriend chris, we haven't been dating for too long, we've been together for 3 weeks but we've been friends for about a year and a half, we haven't done anything beyond making out and now we are playing a game of questions, his question being if i have something i haven't told him yet.

– that you have a praise kink? no, i don't think it's weird, why would i? – he says looking at me with an expression i can't quite read.

– I don't know you're looking at me funny – i say honestly, chris is a really expressive guy and i can tell almost every time how he feels just by looking at his face but now he looks like he is deep in thought.

– it's your turn now, dude –

– oh yeah, what is something YOU haven't told me yet? – i question pointing at chris and a little louder when I say ‘you’ tilting my head when i see the same boy scratching his neck bringing his eyes at the ceiling looking like he's searching for an answer.

– ... i also have a praise kink – he says bringing his face to the side almost like trying to hide it.

– ... you do? – you question, you always thought chris looked like the type of guy to be more into degrading which makes you surprised by his answer.

– yeah, ya seem surprised by that... y'know what? I could show you right now – you didn't know what chris had under his sleeve, he was always full of random ass scenarios that no one would've guessed was on his mind.

i watched as the blue eyed boy got up from his position on the floor and started walking towards his bedside table opening the first drawer and grabbing something from it, i couldn't see what it was until chris turned around facing me... it was a paper full of bright yellow stars.

– what are you implying?... – i said completely confused about what chris was thinking.

– imma start giving ya paper stars for every thing you do good – he replies giggling at himself and the face that i give him after he answers.

– ... i swear you're not real, you are a complete idiot – i say as chris begins laughing non stop at his stupid joke making me start laughing with him, repeatedly hitting the floor with my fist while chris has to support himself with his bed to not fall to the ground in tears by how much he's laughing.

– oh my god... that was funny... okay – i say as i try to catch my breath.

– HELL YEAH, as soon as you confessed that I was thinking about doing it – chris says making me feel more calm knowing that it wasn't that he thought i was weird and that he was just trying to think something funny to say.

we start to get quiet and before i can say anything chris slowly gets on top of me beginning to caress the left side of my face with one of his hands while the other one holds my waist.

– seriously tho, i could start doing it... but you'll have to be a good girl, yeah? – he says giving me a smirk and sleepy eyes making my cheeks get the reddest they've ever been while i mumble something unable to get words out because of how flustered i got.

– cat got ya tongue kid? –

WHAT DO WE THINK? this is my first time ever posting a fanfic on tumblr and i actually don't love this but I really hope y'all do!!

[rafeandonlyrafe]

desperate measures

words: 1.7k

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, p in v sex, BABY TRAPPING!, pregnancy, female receiving oral

rafe thought it was just his paranoia, the gnawing thought in his mind that you were going to leave him. he never considered that it could be true, that you were putting plans into place.

until a rumor spread that you were fed up with his behavior. his over protectiveness, his anger issues. you love him, but think he needs to heal without you first. that's the claim thats whispered to him at the party, one you aren't attending, staying home to study for your online college class.

rafe rushes home, rage flooding through his veins, knowing he needs to do everything and anything to get you to stay. 

--

“hey gorgeous, almost done studying?” rafe combs his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss to your head.

“yeah.” you hum, tilting your head up to allow rafe to press a kiss to your lips. “just give me 15 more minutes and ill come to bed, mkay?”

“okay.” rafe nods, squeezing your shoulder in support as you go back to typing out your essay. 15 minutes gives him plenty of time to do what he needs to. 

rafe grabs the condoms out of his bedside table drawer, throwing them all onto the bed. he's not sure how many tries it'll take, but he's determined.

he moves to your pinboard next, grabbing a tack that holds up a picture of you and rafe when you first started your relationship, before you saw the dark side of him. rafe frowns at the picture instead of mimicking the smile in it like he normally does, now noticing the difference in you, your smile is not as wide, eyes duller, cheeks not as full. 

“fuck.” rafe shakes his head, angry at himself for letting you down without even realizing it. things are going to change, he has to fix it. he can’t let you leave. rafe moves back to the bed, pin in hand as he takes a condom package and presses a hole through it, making sure to skewer it completely through. he continues until every condom is poked, glad for once that you reacted badly to birth control and had to seek other methods to prevent getting pregnant.

rafe cleans up quickly, tossing everything back into the drawer and then pinning the picture back up, looking over the other snapshots that you put up. there's some of your friends, but most are of you and rafe. rafe knows you love him, he just needs to make sure you never stop.

“whatcha looking at?” you ask as you enter the room, voice light and airy despite the bags under your eyes. rafe credited it to you taking college classes, but was now worried that he contributed to your current state.

“just how beautiful you are.” rafe doesn't miss the look on your face, the surprise.

“oh.” you blush, raising your hands to press your fingertips into your cheeks.

“and im really sorry if i haven't been telling you that enough lately.” rafe crosses over to you, hands coming to cup your cheeks, your hands trapped under his.

“what are you doing rafe?” you question.

“i haven’t been treating you well enough lately and im so sorry for that baby. i love you.” rafe presses his lips against yours. you react to the kiss, pushing past the surprise to kiss back, sliding your hands out from under his to grip his shirt, tugging his body into yours.

“are you tired princess?” rafe asks, lips still skimming over yours as he questions it.

“n-no.” you shake your head, bottom lip pouting out, making rafe lean in to kiss it. “why?”

“because i want you.” rafe smirks. he's used to your excuses. tired, headache, need to shave, need to eat, anything to get out of it.

“oh!” your eyebrows widen. “yeah.” you press yourself closer to rafe. it's been a long time since you felt the rush of lust for him, since he's treated you so sweetly, talked so candidly. no sign of anger or resentment hiding in his eyes. “yeah, i want you too.”

“good.” rafe moves you to the bed. his hands work effortlessly as his mouth distracts you, pulling at your clothes until you're naked, all of his clothes still on.

“rafe, let me see you.” you pout, tugging at his shirt.

“no, let me focus on you, princess.” rafe moves lower to wrap his mouth around your nipple, giving you full attention while his other hand cups the other side of your chest.

“rafe.” you whine, completely forgetting about your relationship issues, about how you were just thinking of the right time to leave him as he plays with your chest, ignoring your cries and pleas for him to give you more.

“spread your legs, baby.” rafe pushes at your thighs until you help him, spreading your knees apart to present yourself to him.

rafe lays between your thighs, but not before pulling his shirt off, granting you your wish of having him at least get closer to the state of undress you're in.

“such a pretty pussy baby. gonna give it so much lovin’, it's what you deserve.” rafe rubs your inner thighs, eyes locked on your wetness. 

“what has gotten into you rafe?” you let out a breathy laugh, starting to get slightly suspicious of how sweet he's acting.

“just wanna appreciate my lovely girl.” rafe moves closer, inhaling your scent before his tongue licks through your wetness.

you fist your hands in the sheets as he focuses in on your clit, knowing nothing gets you off faster than him sucking at your most sensitive part.

“rafe, oh my god!” you squeal. it's been a long time since he's given you head, and rafe is wondering himself why it's been so long since he tasted you on his tongue, moaning to himself as he swipes through what he swears is better than pure honey.

“so delicious.” he moans, the words vibrating over your pussy as he barely pulls away to speak, mouth greedily sucking at your clit, tongue rolling incessantly over it.

“it-it feels so good.” you moan, moving one hand to rafes head, his hair too short to grip onto, but you need the physical connection to him.

rafes eyes slide closed, concentrating on making you cum as soon as possible so he can get inside of you, his cock so hard he has to grind into the bed just to relieve himself slightly, knowing what he is about to.

rafe brings a finger to your entrance, carefully pushing in, knowing since it's been a while that he's going to have to open you up to take him. he immediately picks up speed to match to intensity of his mouth, only stopping sucking to press a few kisses to your clit.

“im-im gonna cum rafe, oh my god!” you let out a squeal, back arching off the bed as he works you until your high breaks through, legs clenching around his head, thighs pressing in but rafe doesn't let it deter him as he works you through it, only stopping when your whine from the oversensitivity and push at his head.

“gotta get inside you.” rafe pulls away, making sure to remove his finger carefully. he reaches over to the bedside table, grabbing a condom, knowing you won't notice the small hole pressed through the foil as you breathe deeply, recovering from your orgasm.

rafe tears the packaging open, standing up to briefly pull his pants and underwear off, sliding the condom over his hard cock, smirking when he can tell precisely where the small hole is. no way you wouldn't get pregnant, and then there is no way you'd be able to leave him.

“how you want me baby?” rafe asks. he knows his preference. to turn you over and have you on your hands and knees, ass presented to him.

“like this.” you open your arms up, wanting rafe close to you.

he nods, draping himself over your body, lips covering yours as his cock presses against your entrance, sinking in with a low moan.

your arms wrap around rafes shoulders, keeping him close to you, your chests pressed together as he lets you adjust for a moment, his cock pressing against your walls.

“god, ive missed this.” you mew out.

“gonna work on treating you so much better.” rafe says, a look of seriousness overtaking his features. “you're mine, baby.” he finished his words with a thrust. “all mine.”

--

“rafe!” you finally manage to shout out. you hear his footsteps pounding up the stairs, entering the bedroom and then finally the bathroom where you're hunched over the toilet.

“baby?” he questions, kneeling next to you, hands moving carefully.

“it's my stomach.” you groan, pressing a hand to your abdomen. “i must have come down with something.”

“yeah.” rafe nods. “im gonna get you a water.” rafe has to leave the room, he can't let you see him celebrate your morning sickness when you don't even know the true cause yet.

--

“when you get a minute…” your hands are wrestling with each other behind your back, trying to control your nerves. “i need to talk to you.”

rafe smiles. surely you must have had a suspicion yourself and taken a pregnancy test. surely that's what you must be holding behind your back.

“i have a minute right now.” rafe stands up from his desk, crossing the room. when he goes to place his hands on your shoulders, you take a deep inhale, not even meaning to retreat yet you step back into the doorway.

“baby?” rafe questions.

“im pregnant.” you blurt out.

rafe tries to control his excitement, tries to mimic shock before he pulls you into a hug, feeling how tense you are. “baby, that’s so exciting! oh my god, we are gonna be parents.” he takes your face in his hands, pressing a kiss to your lips, even though you don’t really reciprocate. “you’re gonna be the best mom ever.”

“i… i have something else to tell you too.” you feel tears fill your eyes, not stopping them from flowing down your cheeks. “i was gonna break up with you.” you let out a sob, burying your face in rafes chest as you continue. “i was gonna break up with you until i took a test and it came back positive. i’m so sorry rafe, i never wanted to leave i just thought-”

“hey, shh.” rafe strokes your back gently. “the past is the past. this baby will bring us together, okay? we are gonna be parents, happy, in love parents. thats what matters.”

you nod, snuggling into rafe as he kisses the top of your head, glad that you can’t see the smirk on his face, his plan executed perfectly.

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[comicaurora]

A bit of a strange question, but if there were any of your videos you were to "remake" today for any reason (ex: you feel like you misrepresented the original text or spread misinformation), which would it be and why? None of them is a perfectly valid answer

Again: bit of a strange question, but I've been thinking about my own creations and how I could have done so much better with some of them, but I also know that is a sign of my growth and constantly chasing "what if I did this instead" isn't always healthy for nurturing a creative mindset, and I was wondering what your opinion might be as a Creator of Things with a bit more experience than I

There's been a few trope talks where I've thought later of other angles I could've explored that might warrant sequels or part 2s, but I don't dislike any of the summaries enough to justify a rework.

I always find "I could've done this better if I made it now" to be a bit of a fallacy. I'm only better at making things now because I made all those earlier things. If I knew everything I'd learn from making a project before I started the project, it wouldn't come out the same.

I think when it comes to the "rework remake perfect" instinct, it helps to zero in on what the impulse is really grounded in. In my experience, more often than not, it's not actually about making the art better, except incidentally. It's usually about showing that you are better. It's demonstrating your competence and your higher standards and your skills, and more importantly it's overwriting the proof that you were once less than perfect. If people look at your old work and think that's all you're capable of, they'll be judging you poorly!

If that's the motivator, it's a very unhelpful one. You can't control for being harshly or incorrectly judged. It's a fruitless effort to stave off potentially upsetting outdated criticism, and it's not even going to work. Fear of critique is an unreliable and untrustworthy motivator.

If it really is about making the art itself better, perfecting your magnum opus with your newly leveled-up skills, that's a little more solid. But from where I'm standing, it's always better to use those skills to make something new instead of polishing something old. The older, unpolished work has already acquired its audience that finds it appealing for reasons that might never occur to you. Trying to bury or overwrite it just deprives that audience of the thing they like, and maybe makes them feel bad for having liked it in the first place. Also, usually when you look back on the older work, you'll conclude that the problem is everything and it'll need to be torn down and started from scratch. I know when I revisited the first three chapters of the comic, when I let my critic brain spin up, it wasn't shading or lineart I wanted to fix - it was panel composition, overall pacing, the entire structure of the chapters as a whole. I would've had to make them all over again to be happy with them, and they wouldn't be the same story by the end.

I've been thinking a lot about the Discworld through this lens lately. It ended up over 40 books long, but everyone agrees that the first two are not what you should start with, because they're the worst ones. They're entirely parodic, purely referential of at-the-time major fantasy series, and borderline mean-spirited in places. If you haven't read Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser and Dragonriders of Pern, you're not gonna understand like a full 50% of The Colour Of Magic.

It's clear that when he started in on them, Pratchett was entirely focused on taking the piss out of a genre he found mostly shallow and unimpressive. But the Discworld wouldn't leave his head, and everything he made fun of he clearly eventually found himself overthinking. He'd make little one-off jokes in the early books about Dwarves having no women and a hundred words for gold, and then twenty books later he'd have a Dwarf gender revolution make waves across the Disc, and then he'd write Thud!, a book that delves deeper into the nuances of Dwarf societal structure than Tolkien ever did.

If you look for them, there are continuity errors everywhere in Discworld. In his introductory book, Carrot defused a dwarf bar full of rowdy brawlers by guilting them all into writing to their poor lonely mothers back home. Shortly thereafter, Carrot will be outraged at the mere concept of an openly female dwarf. Pratchett even eventually wrote Thief of Time, a book that loosely explains that the Disc makes no sense because history has been broken and put back together incorrectly twice, and therefore any continuity errors are because of that.

He's the writer. He could've gone back and fixed it, edited the reprints to be less disruptively discontinuous with the later books. Instead he continuously moved forward and allowed the world he made to grow without cutting it off from its roots. And because he didn't bury his older, far worse work, we have the privilege of following the Disc's evolution from the very start, and seeing how this shallow, stock fantasy world parody became something incredibly rich and complex without ever pretending like its early installments never happened.

Anyway, that's why I think it's better to move forward. You make more good stuff that way.