#I Said To Myself This Affair Never Will Go So Well But Why Should I Try To Resist? (Ostello ♡ Valentino ♡ Vox) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theother-victoria · 14 days ago

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all hearts as one beneath the sun

SYNOPSIS: before kakavasha dissolves into the nihility, there is one hope he has to let go of. may you meet again in a kinder world and under a warm sun.

CHARACTERS: kakavasha, aventurine, dr ratio, aventurine's family, sunday

TAGS: angst, no comfort, established relationship, mentions of suicide, 4k+ wc

TAGLIST: @mitsvriii, @harque, @hazyue, @gabile18, @khoncore, @moineauz

NOTES: sobbed to "had I not seen the sun" the entire time I was writing this I love making myself cry w my own work

special thanks to @akutasoda, @tragedy-of-commons, and @https-sourlimes for proofreading this! love u all <33

link to the playlist

Aventurine was mildly surprised when he received word that he would be handling the Penacony mission. Why him, of all the Ten Stonehearts? Surely someone more capable such as Opal would be trusted with a mission of this caliber.

He only realized why when he pried further into the details.

Penacony was a death trap. With so many powerful and important people gathered in one place, one wrong move on his part would spell his end.

He chuckles sardonically. Figures. They’re sending their most suicidal employee out for a suicide mission.

As if to rub the situation into his face, he finds out they’re pairing him with Dr. Ratio. What purpose is he supposed to serve, suicide prevention? Too little, too late, in his opinion.

The doctor doesn’t look too thrilled about the fact either. It makes Aventurine feel somewhat better about this whole situation.

“You’d best get your affairs settled before we leave, gambler. The odds that you make it back alive from this mission aren’t as high as you’d hope they’d be.”

“Ooh, well I do like the sound of that.”

A glare sent his way makes Aventurine roll his eyes, but he shuts up anyway. Plans are made and discussed for what role each of them will be playing before it’s time to leave.

“Well then, I look forward to working with you in Penacony, Doctor.”

“Just don’t act like a complete idiot and we’ll be fine.”

The two men head their separate ways. Ratio’s advice to settle his affairs lingers in his mind, though. That means there’s a will he has to sign, assets he has to distribute, funeral arrangements to be made, and more. Of course, most, if not all of it, will be going toward you. You’d be set for the rest of your life, never having to work a day again if you so chose.

He heaves a sigh. Ah, it’s all so tedious. It was all so much easier before you came along. He had no will to worry about. He’d toss caution to the wind every mission and wind up sorely disappointed when he returned, still alive. If he did end up dying, his assets would end up being pawned off and most likely make their way back to the IPC somehow. So what even was the point then?

With all that being said, he didn’t mind putting in all that extra work for your peace of mind and so you’d continue to benefit, even after his death.

Still, the stakes this time around are higher, and he has you to consider now before placing his bets. One wrong move and you’d be left without someone to welcome home. And then there’s the consideration of whether he’d be willing to die when the moment came. Sure, he’d attempted several times before but they’d all failed. Would he be able to take the plunge this time, should the opportunity present itself?

“Hey, Doc?”

Ratio is about to leave, but the uncharacteristic hint of hesitation in his voice makes him stop and look over his shoulder.

“... How can you tell if you’ve lived a life worth living?”

Ratio stares at the blonde in silence in disbelief over what he’s hearing. Aventurine chuckles, trying to dispel the awkwardness that’s settled in the air.

“No answer? Never mind-”

“That answer will vary from person to person. However, if you were to ask me personally…”

The doctor’s ruby eyes flit over Aventurine’s frame, narrowing in contemplation- and perhaps a hint of resignation.

“Ask yourself this question: can you die today without any regrets?”

“Can I die today without any regrets?” Doctor, what were you thinking when you posed that rhetorical question on me? Obviously the answer would be no!

Expensive leather shoes click against stone as Aventurine hurriedly makes his way through the Dreamscape. The weight of having mere hours left to live looms above his head like an anvil, leaving him scrambling to figure out how to cheat death- not for the hope of living to see another day, but so he can carry out his mission.

When confronted with death, even a suicidal man will cling to the urge to live for one reason or another.

He’s hardly paying attention to where he’s going, muttering out half-hearted apologies to those he bumps into as he stumbles through the Dreamscape before he ends up in a secluded area. The kaleidoscopic iridescence in the corners of his vision makes him stumble and he audibly groans when a searing pain flashes through his temples, the Harmony’s brand on his mind assailing him again.

Dammit… am I really at the end of the line now? And before I could do anything meaningful either…

He hears the sound of a… child humming some distance away? That’s strange, there’s no one else here.

“Mister, are you lost too?”

That voice.

He turns around slowly, as if that would change anything. Aventurine’s eyes dart across the boy standing before him, with rags for clothes and scraped knees. The child in front of him is everything he is not- or rather, what he was, but is no longer. Optimistic, with bright shining eyes. Hope still exists for him.

Those eyes. Oh, it’s himself.

Aventurine thinks he’s about to be sick.

“Woah, you have such pretty eyes! Can I call you Mr. Pretty Eyes?”

Aventurine stiffly nods.

“Sure. Call me whatever you want, kid. What’s your name?”

“It’s Kakavasha. Nice to meet you!”

And that’s the final nail in the coffin confirming his suspicions.

Kakavasha looks around nervously.

“I was searching for my family, but I got lost. This place is so much bigger than home… Mister, do you think you could help me find them?”

Aventurine shakily extends a trembling hand out.

“Of course. Lead the way. How about you hold onto my hand so you don’t get lost anymore?

Kakavasha latches onto it and begins wandering around, calling out for his parents and big sister. Every unanswered call feels like a punch to the gut but he has a faint flickering of hope that he’ll be able to see them.

“You really love your family, kid,” remarks Aventurine in an attempt to keep some conversation going.

“Of course! I do!”

Kakavasha pauses in his steps and thinks for a bit, eyes wandering skyward and free hand resting on his chin.

“… Do you have anyone you love, Mr. Pretty Eyes?”

“Yes, I do. Their name is (Name).”

The boy’s eyes light up, sparkling in curiosity.

“Woah, really? What’re they like?”

A light chuckle escapes Aventurine’s lips as he crouches down to Kakavasha’s eye level and ruffles his hair.

“They’re the best thing to have ever happened to me.”

“Wow, they must be a really amazing person for you to say that…”

“They are. They're incredible.”

I don’t deserve them.

He chuckles and stands back up again, hand reaching for Kakavasha’s. The little boy continues to lead the way, until he suddenly stops and turns.

“Would you like to meet my family? They’ve been gone for so long I think they went back home. You can introduce (Name) to them as well!”

Panic wells up inside him. Seeing his family? In this state? After all he’s done? No, he can’t. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t. Not under these circumstances!

“Kid, I don’t think-”

“It’s ok if (Name) shows up late. They’re nice people and they’ll understand.”

“No, I-”

“Come on, let’s go! They’re already waiting for us!”

Aventurine feels himself being forcefully pulled under and he instinctively closes his eyes. A blast of hot, sandy air hits him, making him shield himself. When it settles down, he opens his eyes to a familiar sight. Sand stretches as far as the eye can see. There’s minimal vegetation and he can feel the sun beating down on his back already.

Sigonia-IV. He’s returned home.

Kakavasha eagerly tugs on his sleeve.

“This is my home! I know it’s not much, but everyone I know and love is here. I think you’ll like it too.”

Still holding onto Aventurine’s hand, Kakvasha begins running toward the horizon. Aventurine, meanwhile, feels numb all over.

There’s no way this is happening. Is this some sort of cruel prank? What did that chicken-wing boy do this time? But if this is just a cruel prank…

He looks around at the yellow sand stretching as far as the eye can see and the mountains in the distance.

… Then it’s far too realistic. How is this happening? If I filter out the memories of the massacre, then everything is the same as I remembered it.

“We’re almost there!” calls out Kakavasha. “Just a little longer now!”

Three familiar figures stand in front of a tent some distance away and Aventurine feels his heart seize up in his chest. He’s long forgotten their faces, but he instinctively recognizes them.

Mom. Dad. Big Sis.

Kakavasha lets go of his hand and sprints toward his family. He leaps into the arms of his big sister, who spins him around giddily while his mother plants kisses over his face and his father holds his tiny hands.

As he approaches, he realizes they have no faces. Where there are supposed to be eyes, a nose, and a mouth, there is nothing. A blank canvas with dents and ridges where the features are supposed to be greets him and he feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise up in warning.

The only exception to this is his sister, with her grinning mouth and her long blonde hair billowing in the wind- the only feature he remembers clearly about her. She takes notice of him and tilts her head curiously to the side.

“Kakavasha, did you br▇ng a f▇▇▇d of ▇urs?”

Her voice comes out scratchy and distorted with only a few syllables recognizable. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes why.

He can’t remember her voice anymore. Or the voices of his parents, for that matter. He’s forgotten what they look like, and now what they sound like. What’s been forgotten can’t be restored.

“Yeah!” exclaims Kakavasha nestled safely into his sister’s arms now. “Everybody, meet Mr. Pretty Eyes!”

They greet him with friendly waves and scratchy sounds that he thinks are supposed to be words of greeting. He almost chokes on the guilt and regret building up in his throat

“▇▇ look just like ▇▇ Kakavasha over here! ▇▇ ▇▇ ▇▇ ▇▇ his long-lost b▇▇▇▇r or something?”

Aventurine forces out a laugh as the others join in.

If only they knew…

The sun is going down now, and the solar winds that blanket the planet grow harsher. They quickly usher him into the tent, telling him to make himself at home and inviting him to stay for dinner. There’s no way out as far as he can tell, so he obliges.

It’s smaller than he remembers, he thinks as he ducks to avoid hitting his head. There’s a rudimentary kitchen setup in the back that Kakavasha’s mother is tending to as she begins preparing dinner. Kakavasha hops into his sister’s lap and shakes the sand out of his hair and gets it everywhere, to which she lightly scolds him with a tug on his cheek.

He takes a seat on the fraying rug in the center and rubs a brightly-colored teal tassel between his fingers. The sand is already starting to seep into his clothes. He feels grains of it in his shoes and it pools onto his pristine white dress pants. Grains of it are nestled deep into the fur collar of his coat from the harsh solar winds outside that even vigorous shaking won’t dislodge.

Kakavasha’s sister smiles at him. It’s a bit unnerving, just seeing a smiling mouth with no other features.

“So, Mr. ▇▇▇ Eyes, w▇at 's your ▇▇▇ ? At least, I’m a▇▇▇ ming Mr. ▇▇▇ Eyes isn’t yo▇▇ r▇l name.”

“It’s Kaka-”

He swallows hard and kicks himself. He’s not Kakavasha. Not anymore.

“It’s… Aventurine.”

The very act of saying that name makes him feel like he’s betraying his family, stabbing them in the back.

“A▇▇▇▇▇ , huh? What an in▇▇▇ing and pretty name!” remarks his sister. He feels the air rush out his lungs and almost coughs up a sardonic laugh from the sheer irony of it all. First his family, then his language, then his body, and now even his name? Is there anything left that he can truly call his from his culture?

Thunder distantly rumbles overhead. Kakavasha and his sister peek their heads out curiously of the tent. She gasps excitedly and points to the darkening clouds overhead.

“Hear that? ▇▇ sign ▇▇ your birthday is ▇▇▇ ▇!” she exclaims as she holds Kakavasha’s hands in hers.“▇▇▇ ▇▇ excited?”

… His birthday?

Thunder rumbles overhead again and he hears the pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the tent.

His birthday. The Kakava Festival.

His heart sinks into his stomach as his family chatters around him. They talk about birthday celebrations and what they’ll do that day, but it’s a muffled mess in his ears. Is it really almost his birthday already? Sigonia-IV followed many beliefs that were independent from the rest of the universe, namely the Aeon belief system, and that also extended to the calendar system. Truth be told, he wasn’t exactly sure what day his birthday was in the Interastral Standard calendar system. He usually just flipped a coin and that was if he even bothered to celebrate, which he hadn’t done in many years.

Aventurine does some quick estimating and realizes that yes, it’s almost his birthday. But how would he celebrate his birthday in this world, where all was good and he still remembered their faces and voices?

Aventurine closes his eyes and thinks. His mother would be overjoyed to know that her beloved son finally has a lover now. She’d make him clean the tent from top to bottom in preparation for your arrival, even though the sand would find its way back inside again within a matter of a few hours. His parents would cook up a feast for your arrival while his sister would pester him to tell more stories about you- as if there were any left that he hadn’t. When the time would come and you’d nervously step through the tent flap with one hand holding his tightly and another clutching some gifts, his mother would rush forward and greet you with a kiss to the cheek, having already accepted you as family. His sister would steal you away from him to dote on you, much to his half-hearted chagrin. His father would tell corny jokes that you’d cringe at, and his mother would teach you recipes that had been passed down for generations, her warm, weathered hands resting atop yours and lovingly guiding your movements in the kitchen.

The five of you, safe, warm, and alive under the sun.

Hours after the rest of his family had gone to sleep, you’d lie side by side outside, watching the stars drift on by. Sigonia-IV is nothing like Pier Point. Free from light and industrial pollution, you’d have a stunning view of the cosmos every night. Twinkling stars shine overhead, so close you could practically pluck them out of the sky. Multicolored clouds of gas and stardust bathe the sky in their shifting hues as he tells you stories that have been passed down from generation to generation with the occasional shooting star passing by. You’d stay like that for hours on end, content to just listen and watch, until you were lulled to sleep by his voice.

It would be cold, as all desert climates are at night, but it was nothing he couldn’t bear with your warmth nestled into his side.

In the spring, or around now, he’d take you to celebrate the Kakava festival under the stars with a roaring bonfire. The festival itself would be a solemn and silent celebration with people murmuring prayers to the Mother Goddess and tossing sacrificial vessels into the fires, but the celebration of his birthday afterward would be loud and joyful. Bonfire sparks would rise up into the sky, carried by the hot solar winds and the rich sounds of his people’s songs. His mother would drape you in turquoise jewelry and gift you traditional clothes that she would’ve spent hours beforehand making by hand, every stitch a labor of love. He’d teach you to dance to the cheers of his family and the familiar tunes he’d hum under his breath. His movements would be fluid and graceful as he spins and twirls you around, while you stumble and flail along. He’d enjoy every second of it- even if you step on his feet the whole time.

He would be kinder in this world, he thinks. He’d still be Kakavasha. Aventurine would be an unknown man to him. He’d wear his heart on his sleeve and his eyes would still have life to them. He’d never have to hide his left hand.

And you’d be happier too. You wouldn’t have to sift through the layers to find the true self underneath the act he puts up. He wouldn’t be so hot and cold- practically love-bombing you one moment and then disappearing without a word for weeks the next. He wouldn’t be a dirty gambler, a two-faced businessman, a disinterested womanizer, cheating scum, an IPC mutt, a corporate bootlicker, a worthless Sigonian slut or who knows what else you’ve heard about him–

In this world, there are no Katicans. The Avigins and his family are still intact. His neck is unmarred and he speaks the Avigin dialect fluently, instead of the halting and choppy cadence that's even worse than that of a child’s. Syrupy, honeyed words spill from his mouth as he teaches you common words and phrases in his mother tongue. Have you eaten yet? How did you sleep? How was your day? I missed you. Mother. Sister. Father. Lover. Goddess. I made you something. I saw this today and thought of you. Be safe. Sweet dreams. Goodnight. I love you. He chuckles when you parrot them back to him haltingly, with your accent mixed in. The notebook you keep with various phrases, their meanings, and their phonetics grows every day. The most worn out page was the one crammed full of declarations of love that sound more akin to poetry as your mastery over the dialect grows. The ink is smeared from how often you’ve run your fingers over them, murmuring them under your breath until you’d committed them to memory. In your arms is the safest I’ll ever be. I’m lucky to call you my lover. I sleep better when I’m with you. I secretly name stars and constellations after you. I’ll kiss the weariness away from your face every night. I pray to Mama Fenge every night for your safety. I imagine her hands and embrace to be as warm as yours, and it reassures me somehow. I’ll miss your warm hands when that day finally comes. Goodnight, I love you.

We’ll be together even in Kakava’s next aurora.

Aventurine jolts forward with a start. His eyes search around frantically, instinctively searching for his family and you, only to be greeted with a familiar sight that isn’t his home. Bright flashing lights, the sound of cars honking and speeding by, muffled pop music playing in the distance, and the sugary scent of SoulGlad greet his senses instead of arid hot wind that howls in his ears and endless seas of sand. You and his family are nowhere to be seen either.

Oh. Right.

The Dreamscape.

His clothes stick to his skin drenched in a cold sweat and his glasses are resting lopsidedly on his face. His whole body is shivering uncontrollably, as if he’s been plunged into ice-cold water without warning. The world is going white before his eyes and all he can hear is the loud thump of his pulse in his ears that suddenly drops. He thinks he’s about to pass out again. This is the end, he thinks. Aventurine leans against the side of a wall again, taking deep, heaving breaths to steady himself and quell the nausea swirling around in his stomach.

When it subsides and he doesn’t feel like he’s on the verge of death (sadly), he sits back up and forces out a laugh in place of a sob. First forcing a religious consecration onto him, then dangling his family in front of his face? How much crueler could the head of the Oak Family get?

His heart sinks and an overwhelmingly bitter feeling engulfs him. It was just a dream all along. A dream within a dream, really. Was he really that desperate for something familiar again?

(And just like that, the mask known as Aventurine is back in place.)

(But he couldn’t even say goodbye or apologize to his family one last time, even if it wasn’t them.)

It was a pleasant dream, he’ll admit. How nice it would be to live in that world forever. But he knew it was a dream because it could never happen, as much as it pained him.

Aventurine hears the voice of Kakavasha drifting along from further up ahead and knows he’s nearing the final leg of his plan. With what little time he has left, he takes pictures with the boy for posterity and buys the child all the treats his eyes rest on for more than a second. Aventurine delights in the way his eyes light up at the first taste before he eagerly digs in for more.

It’s cathartic, in a way.

Before stepping on stage, he looks up at the sky. It’s perpetually nighttime in Clock Studios Theme Park, but he knows the sun is shining elsewhere in the Dreamscape. Is the sun shining where you are back at home? He thinks it’s morning for you. You must still be asleep with the cat cakes curled into your sides, blissfully unaware of the news you’ll wake up to.

Get onstage. Fear not. Never look back.

One last thing to do.

He sends a final text to you.

Aventurine: I love you.

It stays on delivered when he puts his phone away. It’ll be the first thing you see when you wake up, and that’s more than enough for him.

It’s time for the curtain call.

The feeling of Kakavasha’s tiny body in his arms won’t be enough to chase away the grief. Nothing ever will be. But this’ll be the closest he can get.

Aventurine hugs the boy close, squeezing as hard as he can without hurting him. He feels how he’s nothing more than skin and bone beneath the oversized rags. No child should have to be this thin, he thinks, and he’s even more glad he treated Kakavasha to his heart’s content earlier.

This is the end. He gives Kakavasha one last squeeze to imprint this memory into his mind and gets up, waving goodbye over his shoulder all the while.

He never looks back.

In a shower of light, Kakavasha dissolves into the Nihility, and with him, Aventurine’s hopes for the ideal future- the one that you deserved. The Horizon of Existence is finally devoid of all color save for himself and the dark sun beckoning him forward toward the event horizon.

He takes a step forward, and then another. The sound of his footsteps against the surface and liquid splashing echo loudly in the empty space.

The Nihility is beginning to slowly engulf him. He feels it encroaching at the edges of his mind, eating away at his thoughts one by one until nothing remains. A hollow, empty feeling settles into his heart that weighs him down. Aventurine looks down at his hands and realizes the color is beginning to seep from his vision until he, too, would become one with the Nihility. The point of no return beckons to him like a moth to a flame. Nothingness, emptiness, worthlessness. There’s nothing left for him to do.

“Can you die today without any regrets?”

Aventurine finally has an answer to that question. The past is gone and he’s walking toward no future.

Yes. I finally can.

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@ theother-victoria, do not copy, repost, modify, translate, or feed to ai

#—stellaronhvnters.#victoria.writes #aventurine x reader #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x you #hsr x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x you #aventurine honkai star rail #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr fanfic #hsr imagines #hsr aventurine

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joedirtymadre · 2 months ago

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Orphanage

I thought my Tumblr followers and I were a family, but turns out I was WRONG! BECAUSE I GET NO REQUESTS! For shame ಠ_ಠ

LAW X READER! FLUFF! (And I better see some requests ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

You sighed to yourself as you glanced over to your captain who was following you to your destination. ‘I don’t know why he asked to tag along…’ you thought to yourself.

Flashback

You softly knocked on Law’s office door before entering. “Hello,” you smiled as you entered. “Hello (Y/N), here to make a report?” He asked as he stopped working and sat up. “Just here to give you an update about the arrival time on our upcoming stop,” you said. “I see,” he nodded. “Yep, we should arrive at the island in about 2 hours. Also, I’ll be off doing personal stuff once we arrive at the island,” you explained.

“Again? It seems like everytime you stop at an island you always go off alone,” he mentioned. “Yes, well I’d hate to bother anyone with my personal affairs…” you trailed off, hoping he’d catch on that you’d prefer to explore alone. “I see… well no worries. I’d be happy to join you once we arrive at the island,” he said softly before returning to his paperwork. “H-Huh?” You asked, surprised. “I said I’d be happy to join you, I’ll see you in 2 hours,” he said. “U-Understood…” you stammered before quickly leaving the room.

“Whaat? He wants to join me? For what? Does he think I’m a secret spy or what??” You groaned as you headed back to the others.

Law’s POV

“I did it,” I said softly to myself. I sat back in my seat and let out a sigh of relief. “I really thought she was going to reject me inviting myself, but she didn’t,” I said to myself.

I stared at the ceiling, thinking back to when I first asked her to join my crew. She was a ruthless fighter in an underground ring, even though she didn’t look much like a fighter she would take down others in one punch. She was forced to fight and earn money by her “managers”. When she first joined the crew she would always keep to herself, never wanting to chat with the others.

Until one day…

I heard a small knock on my office door. “Come in,” I said. Slowly the door opened, revealing (Y/N) slowly walking in. “Hello Captain,” she said softly. “Hello (Y/N), here to make a report?” I asked. She shook her head slowly, “Captain… I think I should leave the crew…” she said softly. “Is that so? And why is that?” I asked, putting down my paperwork. “I feel like… I feel like I’m in the way most of the time. I’m not used to being around so many people and it’s… hard,” she said softly.

I don’t know what happened, but in that moment I felt my heart leap. “Is that all?” I asked as I slowly stood up and approached her. Even though she’s a monster of a fighter, at this moment she seems like any other scared girl. “Why is this so hard…?” She asked as she looked up to me. “You’re thinking too hard, everyone wants to get to know you. You just have to open up little by little, no one here will ever judge you or make you feel useless, understood?” I asked her as I rubbed her head. “Understood Captain,” she smiled softly.

“Good, now go back to the others (Y/N). If you have any more trouble come talk to me,” I smiled softly. “Ok!” She smiled brightly before heading back to the others.

Ever since that day I’ve felt myself drawn to her. Hoping she’d come to me for more advice, but she’s still opening up little by little to me as well. But now I decided to take the leap… each time we stepped onto any island she would go exploring alone. Not this time though, I’ll explore along with her. Maybe get to know each other a little more…

Your POV

You softly approached the captain’s door again. Hoping he’s behind on paperwork… You softly knock once and the door suddenly bursts open. “Hello (Y/N), I just finished my work,” he cleared his throat. “H-Hello… i-is that so? Well then let’s go,” you said awkwardly.

You both walked towards the island plaza. You took your time exploring through the different shops, hoping Law would get bored of exploring and plan to leave early. But that wasn’t the case… “Wow, so you like these girly kinds of things too?” He asked as he analyzed a pink teddy bear at the toy shop you’ve stopped at. “Not really,” you shrugged. “Hm? But this is the third toy store you’ve stopped at, you’re saying you don’t like toys?” He asked. “No, I just… mmm…” you softly groaned as you nervously scratched the back of your head.

“What is it?” He asked. “Well… I like to give toys,” you blushed. “Give toys?” He asked. “Ugh… I was hoping you’d have left by now before I went to my actual stop…” You said as you avoided his eyes. “So you’ve been trying to run me away by taking me to boring shops?” He asked in a low voice. “Not exactly… I was hoping you would have been bored by now. I have actually been window shopping, I was going to go back to the previous store to purchase some toys that I thought were nice,” you explained. “But… oh well, it’s getting late and I’d hate myself if I didn’t go,” you said. “Go where?” He asked. “To the island’s orphanage,” you smiled.

“Orphanage? So these toys are for…” he trailed off. “Yeah… I’m sorry I tried to bore you off, but I feel awkward telling people I visit orphanages. It’s just that I came from an orphanage… before you found me and I remember feeling alone and not having many things growing up. So… I try to give back, because if I felt like that then I’m sure others must feel like that too,” you shrugged as you grabbed the toy out of Law’s hands. “I see, well let’s go. I saw a few toys that I think kids would enjoy,” he said softly as he slowly patted your head. “R-Really? You actually wanna join me?” You asked excitedly. “Mhmm, let’s go,” He smiled softly. “Ok!” You smiled as you two rushed to purchase some toys.

You entered the orphanage with Law following behind you. “So do you just drop them off?” He asked as he helped you carry some bags. “Nope, I usually stay and play with some of them!” you grinned. “Is that so?” He asked. “Yeah! It’s so fun, plus a lot of these kids need some outside attention once in a while… So, I’m glad I could help them,” you said as you walked up to the front desk.

You quickly checked in and explained your reason for stopping by, as well as receiving your visitor’s badge.

The orphan keeper guided you to the yard, you grinned as you noticed the kids running around and playing with each other. “Hey guys! We got some visitors! And they brought you a surprise!” The keeper called out. You watched as all the kids turned their heads and rushed over to see the surprise. “Hi guys!” You smiled. “Hello,” the kids replied. “So nice to meet you all, my friend here and I brought you all some toys,” you grinned as you gave the kids a peek from your bags. “Woahh!” “Toys!?” “Gimme!” You heard a few kids yelp in excitement.

“Ok, ok, here you go,” you said as you handed each child a toy. You laughed as you saw the kids crowd around you. You looked over to Law and noticed he stood back and stared at you dealing with the chaos. You rolled your eyes and walked over to drag him towards the crowd. “H-Hey…” he stammered. “Come on, they don’t bite. As long as you give them a toy,” you laughed. “Alright,” he nodded as he hesitated handing each kid a toy.

You smiled as you watched the children run off to play with their new toys. You turned to Law who seemed a bit disheveled from the crowd of kids clawing at him and the bag. “Sorry, I didn’t think they’d get so wild,” you laughed nervously. “It’s fine, it’s nice to see them run around and play,” he smiled softly. “I know, now come on! Let’s go play with them,” you smiled as you pulled him over to the kids.

“Miss! Miss! Can we do your makeup?” A group of girls asked you. “Sure!” you smiled. “Mister! Let’s play marines and pirates! You’re the marine! We’re the pirates!” A couple of rowdy boys grinned. You laughed at Law running around and playfully tossing around some of the boys who kept climbing onto him.

After 20 minutes of salon time, you were finally set to go. “Ok, keep your eyes closed!” A little girl said. “Ok, I promise,” you replied. You kept your eyes shut, waiting for your new look. “Now open!” They said. You opened your eyes and smiled, your eyeshadow was a bright purple, the blush was a hot pink, your lipstick was over lined, and you had 3 pigtails in your hair. “Oh my goodness, I look perfect,” you laughed. “I told you she’d love it! Now come on, come on,” the girls said as they pulled you up from your seat.

“Where are you taking me?” You asked. “To your husband, but shhh we’re gonna surprise him,” a girl smiled. “H-Husband? Law?” you asked nervously, hesitating more with each step.

Law’s POV

“Where are we going?” I asked a little girl who rushed up to grab me. “Hey you can’t steal our marine! We’re still playing,” one of the boys groaned. “Shut up! We got a surprise for him!” the girl snapped back. “Surprise?” I asked. “Yeah, but close your eyes and don’t peek,” the girl frowned. “Ok, ok,” I replied, staggering as she dragged me across the yard.

Your POV

You felt your ears burn as you saw Law approaching, the girls left you under the large tree in the center of the yard. You could hear the giggles coming from behind the tree. “Ok, now stand here, and wait!” The little girl guiding Law told him. “Understood,” he nodded. The little girl let go of his hand, and ran behind the tree with the rest of her friends. You noticed one of the boys Law was playing with approaching you two. “You brought him here to show off her clow-” the boy was smacked and pulled behind the tree. ‘Scary,’ you internally laughed.

“Now open!” The girls cheered. You stood nervously in front of your captain, afraid of his reaction towards your ‘new’ look. You watched as Law slowly opened his eyes, he then widened his eyes once realizing you stood in front of him. “H-Hi Captain…” you said nervously as you twiddle your thumbs. “Hello (Y/N),” he said softly. “How does she look?” A girl called out. Law glanced over to the group of girls peeking from behind the tree. “Ah, I see now,” he whispered to you. “Mhmm,” you nodded. “You look beautiful (Y/N),” he smiled softly. You felt your heart skip a beat. “Thank you for being so nice,” you whispered back. “I’m serious, you look-” Law was interrupted. “Now kiss!” The girls cooed. “H-Huh?” You felt your face heat up.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” The girls cheered. “Well? Can’t disappoint the crowd,” he smiled mischievously, almost as if he’s enjoying this. You slowly leaned lifted yourself up on the tips of your toes, inching near Law’s face. You quickly pecked his cheek, plopping yourself back down on your feet. “She kissed him! Ahhh!” The girls cheered. You felt dizzy from the blood rush to your brain. “I think it’s time for us to go, kids,” Law said. “Awwe,” the kids groaned. “I know… but don’t worry. You’ll have the toys to remember us by, alright?” Law asked as he patted the girl’s heads. The girls nodded and waved us goodbye.

Before leaving you went into the restroom to wash up. You then headed outside to find Law waiting for you. “Hi (Y/N),” he smiled softly. “Hello Captain,” you smiled back. Your walk back to the submarine was short and peaceful, both of you taking in the silence after the chaos you went through moments before.

Before stepping onto the submarine you stopped Law, “C-Captain,” you stuttered. “Yes?” He turned back. “Thank you… today was… a lot of fun. I’m glad we were able to make those kids happy,” you smiled. “It was fun, especially the surprise the girls gave me,” he smiled as he walked up to you. “O-Oh… about that… I swear I didn’t know they were going to drag you over. A-Also that kiss! Please… just i-ignore t-that I-” your words were cut off. You saw Law leaning down, his lips only a few centimeters away from yours. “It’s fine, trust me… you looked really beautiful,” he said softly. You felt your ears burn hot, you stared at his lips for what felt like an eternity. Deciding to close the distance yourself, you felt Law freeze up in shock, but quickly relaxed. Snaking his arms around your waist, pulling you deeper into the kiss.

Luckily he had such a strong hold on you, as your legs began to feel weak. Finally he pulled away, leaving you two catching your breaths and staring into one another’s eyes. “I’m glad I forced you to let me come with you today,” he smirked. “F-Forced?” You asked, dumbfounded. “Mhmm… all part of my plan,” he chuckled. “R-Really? So you…” you trailed off. “Mhmm, now come on. Let’s get you cooled off before you blow a fuse,” he said, as he placed one of his cold hands on your deep red cheeks. “O-Ok…” you blushed.

#anime fanfic #fanfic #fluff #x reader #anime #one piece x y/n #one piece fluff #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece law #trafalgar law x reader #law x ready fluff #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar one piece #one piece trafalgar law #one piece x reader fluff #law fluff

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kteezy997 · 2 months ago

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Lady in Waiting-Part Ten//King Hal

Warnings: betrayal, secret relationship, affair, name calling, anger

Queen Sophia’s POV

It was quite unexpected to hear about y/n falling ill overnight. We spent every day together and have done so for several years now. It was rare for her to ever be sick and unable to help me throughout my day. Who would style my hair and tie up my corset for me?

After readying myself as best as I could, I took it upon myself to pay her a visit. She would be delighted to know that her Queen took the time to check in on her.

She was in bed, her eyes closed when I arrived to her bed chamber. "Y/n, it's me, your Queen."

She opened her eyes, groaning sleepily. "Oh, hello Your Grace." Even in such a terrible state, she still kept her polite nature. She rubbed her eyes, sitting up in the bed.

"I only wanted to make sure you were alright, despite being under the weather and all."' I smiled at her. She looked much more pale than usual and she had tired eyes.

"Sophia," she sighed. I was surprised she used my name. I thought we had been over it several times about how she was to address me, but I let it slide as she was not feeling well. "I am more than just under the weather. I am with child."

I could not believe it. Her? With child? When could this have happened? Who was the father? Did one of Hal's knights charm and seduce my lady in waiting? I was saving her for someone more worthy of her hand in marriage.

"You what? How?" I was so stunned; I did not know what to even say in this moment.

"I am going to have a baby." she said.

"Who made love to you? Who took your innocence, y/n?" I demanded answers.

Y/n closed her eyes, as if she was ashamed to tell me. Could it really be that bad? "I'm sorry, Your Grace. We have been deceiving you for too long and I do not wish to continue doing so. You should know the truth.” She blinked and a tear fell from her eyes.

"We? Who do you mean?" My heart started to pound in my chest, though I did not even know why yet.

"Hal and I." she answered plainly.

My jaw nearly hit the floor, my heart sank. I could not possibly have heard her right. “My husband? The King? You and the King…”

“Yes, Sophia. I’m sorry about what this is going to do to you. I never wanted to hurt you. But I love Hal, and he loves me.”

“Oh and I suspect you think you can be Queen now? Have you been scheming to replace me all along? He loves you does he? Why should I believe you?!” I spat. I hated her. How could she do this to me? After everything I have done for her: given her a lifelong job, security, a damn castle to live in. And she has the audacity to betray me!

“He does love me. You can ask him yourself. He knows about the baby, and of course it’s not an ideal situation, but Hal is happy to be a father.”

“No! You’re nothing but a lying whore. I do not believe anything you say.” My anger over took my words. I was not even sure if I completely meant them, but they felt right in the moment.

“I am sorry for this, Sophia. The fault is all mine and Hal’s. We never expected to fall in love, but we have. But I would never take that back. It’s been the best thing to ever happen to me.”

I scoffed at the nerve of her, "I cannot bear to listen to this anymore." I stormed out of her room, not stopping until I found the King's guards. "It is imperative that I speak with my husband, the King."

..........

"How can she claim that you have fathered her child, Hal? She is lying, tell me she is lying!" I demanded when I saw him.

Hal shook his head, "She is not lying, Sophia. I sired her baby, and I love her. I am sorry to hurt you, but I fell in love with y/n before I ever married you. Our child will be raised here, with his parents. But your life as my wife and Queen will not change."

"How can you say that? This changes everything!" I shouted at him, not even caring who may hear me.

"No, it does not. I told you on our wedding night that you and I would not sleep together in my bed, and I meant it. I do not love you like I do y/n. But you will always have a comfortable place here and I will give you as many children as you desire." He was so calm and rational, it was irritating me.

"Who will your heirs be? Her children or mine?"

"You are my wife, so therefore your children will be in line for the crown." he explained.

"I just cannot believe that you both have casted me aside, like I am nothing but trash."

"That is not what we have done. I would not object to you taking any lover you wish. In fact, I encourage you. I can only hope that you find what y/n and I have found." He came over to me, touching my arm. "I care about your well-being Sophia. We would love to have your blessing. I think it will be the best thing to make all of us happy."

"What makes you think I care about you or her happiness?" I frowned at him.

"Everything will happen in time. I may sound harsh when I say this, but perhaps you should mourn the picture you had of your life. Y/n is the one I want to be with. But you will be a mother too, hopefully soon. You may wish to raise the children together."

I pursed my lips, so livid on the inside that I felt tears in my eyes. “Go to hell.” I said to my husband. I left him standing there. I could no longer be around anyone or listen to anything else.

.........

I returned to my chambers feeling more exhausted than I had ever been in my life. I collapsed onto my bed.

In the tiny span of a day, my entire world had been flipped upside down. My lady in waiting was carrying the bastard child of my husband. They had betrayed me and had been doing so for quite some time apparently. An affair behind my back.

I could not believe it was real. I wish I could go to sleep, and things would go back to normal.

“Raise the children together.”

Raise my children and be friendly with the woman that betrayed me and sleeps in my husband’s bed? I could not think of anything more horrid.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive @gothicwidowsworld

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothée imagine #timothee x reader #timothee chalamet #kinghenryv #the king netflix #kinghal #secret relationship #betrayal

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fluentmoviequoter · 9 months ago

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Our Songs

Requested Here! Here's the Instagram video that inspired this amazing request!!

Pairing: David "Deacon" Kay x fem!wife!reader

Summary: Deacon sings your song every chance he gets, but when he finds out why you love to hear him sing, he introduces more Sinatra into your life.

Warnings: fluff!!! song lyrics are italicized! if you're only interested in Deacon x reader, stop at the double divider because there's a baby past that break.

Word Count: 1.0k+ words

Playlist (in order of inclusion): I've Got You Under My Skin, You Make Me Feel So Young, The Best is Yet To Come, From the Bottom to the Top, All My Tomorrows (all by Frank Sinatra)

Picture from Pinterest (crossing my fingers that I haven't used this one already but not taking the time to check)

Deacon Kay is a man of many talents. Since meeting Deacon and falling in love with him, every day, you learn about a talent you haven’t seen before. There’s nothing he can’t do, as far as you’re concerned, and you become more convinced of this after you get married.

When you get home from a long day, Deacon is in the kitchen, and you’re greeted by a mouth-watering scent. You take a deep breath, releasing the tension and stress left over from the day. Walking toward the kitchen, you stop when you hear Deacon humming. As you lean against the island, you watch his back as he stirs a pot on the stove before bending to check the pan in the oven. His humming continues, and you close your eyes as you place the song. It played during your first date, and Deacon decided it was your song, so you played it at your wedding, on your honeymoon, and many times after.

“You know,” you begin quietly, “if I’d known you sounded better than Sinatra sooner, you would’ve been asked to sing at the wedding.”

Deacon smiles as he turns toward you. “You flatter me.”

“You make it easy.”

Deacon pulls you against him, hugging you tightly. He loosens his grip on you, but you keep your cheek pressed to his chest, his steady heartbeat a reminder of how much love you share with him. Deacon rubs your back before he sways you gently, humming again before he starts singing.

“I'd tried so, not to give in

I said to myself this affair never will go so well

But why should I try to resist when baby I know so well

I've got you under my skin

I'd sacrifice anything come what might

For the sake of having you near

In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night

And repeats, repeats in my ear.”

“I love you,” you say against Deacon’s chest.

He pushes you out and spins you, smiling at your laugh as you lay your arms over his shoulders, hooking your hands behind his neck. Deacon wraps his arms around your waist, looking into your eyes as he begins singing again.

“You make me feel so young

You make me feel there are songs to be sung

Bells to be rung

And a wonderful fling to be flung

And even when I'm old and gray

I'm gonna feel the way I do today

'Cause you make me feel so young

You make me feel so young

You make me feel so spring has sprung

And every time I see you grin

I'm such a happy individual.”

“I’m going to fall in love with you again,” you murmur.

“Then I’m never going to stop singing,” Deacon replies, then kisses your forehead.

“Hondo will love that; you can kick down a door and then sing ‘Fly Me to the Moon.’”

“Why limit it to Sinatra? There has to be better breaching music.”

You hum in agreement, using your hands behind Deacon’s neck to pull him into a kiss. When you pull back, ready for dinner, you remind Deacon that you love him more than any song could capture or explain.

✯✯✯✯✯

When you wake up the following morning, it’s still dark outside, but Deacon’s voice is floating in from the bathroom.

“Wait 'til your charms are right for these arms to surround

You think you've flown before, but baby, you ain't left the ground

Wait 'til you're locked in my embrace

Wait 'til I draw you near

Wait 'til you see that sunshine place

Ain't nothin' like it here

The best is yet to come, and babe, won't it be fine?

The best is yet to come, come the day you're mine

Come the day you're mine

And you're gonna be mine.”

You smile as he enters the bedroom, and he returns to his rightful place beside you.

“Sorry if I woke you up,” Deacon apologizes.

“You didn’t. But I wouldn’t want to wake up to anything else.”

“I’m starting to think you love the singing more than me.”

“The opposite,” you explain. “I love the singing because it’s you.”

Deacon kisses you, and you smile into the kiss.

✯✯✯✯✯

“And when we have a little Deacon? What will you sing then?” you ask, making yourself comfortable against Deacon’s side.

With your heart pressed to his, Deacon quickly decides on a song.

“From the Bottom to the Top,” he answers.

“I may need a demonstration.”

Deacon kisses you, distracting you from your question. He hums into the kiss, and you pull yourself closer, enjoying the joy of being wholly in love with Deacon.

✯✯✯✯✯

The nursery is empty when you wake. Walking through the house, you hear Deacon and follow his voice.

“Everything I got

No, it's not a lot

From the bottom to the top

You can have all of me

I will try at one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock, four

To keep you satisfied

I will try those anything, everything, anything more

To hold you by my side

You can make me laugh

You can make me cry

You can change my heart

If you'll only try

By the stars above

You can have my love.”

When you find Deacon sitting by the patio door, looking down at your baby, you can't help but smile. Moving to sit beside him, you lean your head on Deacon’s shoulder.

“Takes after you,” Deacons says softly. “The moment I start singing, the crying stops.”

“Because you sing from love,” you point out. “And we know you love us.”

“That I do,” Deacon agrees, turning to kiss you.

Your baby coos against Deacon’s chest, and you chuckle as you kiss his jaw.

“I think we need an encore.”

Deacon smiles at you before singing,

“Today I may not have a thing at all

Except for just a dream or two

But I've got lots of plans for tomorrow

And all my tomorrows belong to you.”

“All of my tomorrows are you, Mr. Kay," you whisper.

“And mine are you, Mrs. Kay.”

#david deacon kay x reader #deacon kay x reader #david kay x reader #david deacon kay #deacon kay #deacon kay fluff #requests #fem!reader #hanna writes✯

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drconstellation · 1 year ago

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Once and Future Royalty

Just, stay with me on this one. I know its going to look crazy at the start, but trust me, I know where I'm going.

It all started with the 537AD scene in Wessex in the opening montage of "Hard Times," S1E3. Yeah, the one where Aziraphale is supposed to be a knight of the Round Table and Crowley is role-playing the Black Knight, and they are both so super-squeaky shiny clean - not a speck of dirt or mud on them. wtf! It looks out of place, unrealistic, and was bugging the crap out of me, like a stone in your shoe. It just didn't fit. I mean, why put a myth, a legend, into that sequence? Oh, OK, yeah, the preceding stories from the Bible, like the Garden of Eden and the Flood, aren't "myths" as well, you say? Hmm. In the context of the Good Omens AU, being a biblical based story, they belong there far more than the legend of King Arthur.

King Arthur, who supposedly united Britain under his rule during the late 5th century and early 6th century, was shown to have the divine right to rule by wielding the mighty sword Excalibur. Some stories tell of Arthur pulling Excalibur from a stone. Some tell of him receiving Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. Either way, it was bestowed upon him by divine grace. Despite his triumph in battle, he left no heirs, as his queen, the fair Guinevere, was barren. She had a long-running love affair with the greatest knight of the court, Sir Lancelot, but despite this being an open secret in court Arthur would not put her aside. The knights of the Round Table in the court of Camelot were near-paragons of Christian virtue, and there are many tales of their search for the Holy Grail, the cup from the Last Supper of Jesus Christ.

In the end, mortally wounded in battle, Arthur was taken away for healing, and never seen again. It was said he would return when Britain was at it most direst hour to save the day once more. A "messianic" return.

The Once and Future King.

Now, I'm no Arthurian novice; I drank up all of T. H. White as a teenager, read the Dark is Rising multiple times, Marion Zimmer Bradley's interpretation and what ever else I could lay my hands on for a good couple of decades. And there is LOTS of King Arthur stuff around. You are not left wanting for anything new to read or consume. And I'll bet there are a fair few of you also out there who know a quite bit about the legend as well. Oh, and I can't tell you how many times I have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I still walk around quoting it day-to-day, like the good little Gen-Xer I am, having grown up on that stuff. So I really should have listened to my intuition when bits of Monty Python kept popping up in my brain in response to other parts of GO I was thinking about. (Staaay, I said, stay with me here....)

I kept chewing away furiously on the Wessex problem, growling in feral frustration at it, but also kept reading and sorting out some other ideas and metas at the same time. Eventually I found the key in a tiny little post, about a small detail in the 1941 Blitz episode S2E4, of all places. I wanted to slap myself with how much was staring me in the face so obviously once the door opened. And the damn beauty of it is, that I already written about some it, out of context, without knowing the why.

OK. Where to start this journey...hmmm, back to Monty Python, because, guess what - the Wessex scene is actually riffing off one the more famous skits out the the Holy Grail. The scene is a masterpiece of political satire, from start to finish, but the relevant part here is this sequence:

In case you missed the salient points: Arthur claims he is king by divine providence, because he was given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake. Dennis the peasant protests this waterlogged method of determination, mentioning ponds, watery tarts and a moistened... well, I hope you get the idea about where this is going.

Meanwhile, in 537AD, Wessex, as the mist swirls around them:

"It is a bit damp," complains a shiny silver Aziraphale.

Yes, Excalibur would be a bit damp after it emerged from the Lake. (vidavalor! Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm trying to have a serious discussion here! Please! And I wasn't even going to go anywhere near what the sword in the stone is really meant to be referring to...it's not even relevant to the discussion at hand, I swear! Well, there is going to be sexual relations mentioned but - oh, never mind...)

Right. Where were we. Lets leave those super-clean elite pretendy knights to swim off through the swirling mist back to their dry homes to write and file reports to head office, along with Patsy and the hired Igors, and Dennis can keep playing in his lovely muddy filth after he finishes protesting being repressed by the divinely-deluded Arthur. I've got a bit more to say about what Aziraphale and Crowley might represent here later but you need some more context first, so lets move on. I just needed to show you the first bit so you can see the Arthurian theme stretches across both S1 and S2, and will likely appear in S3 as well. More about that towards the end.

Ah, before I forget...another ref from the Holy Grail we need to cover:

This GIF, unfortunately, doesn't have the full exchange between the peasants, which is this:

P1: "Who's that then?" P2: "I don't know. Must be a king." P1: "How can you tell?" P2: "Because he doesn't have any shit on him."

Ah. Er. OH!

Have you made the connection?

Who have I been emphasizing as being unusually clean in their Arthurian setting? That's right, Aziraphale and Crowley.

What's this implying? That they are royalty. Celestial royalty. Maybe not kings, but how about princes? You know how we've been discussing whether Crowley was a once at least an Archangel, and there is even a hint that he was a fallen prince of Heaven given during the replay of Gabriel's trial? (Not the prince, but a prince - a seraphim) And that Aziraphale may have once been Raphael, and may be again in the future? Once and future royalty. To me it adds weight to the past discussion, and helps to explain the assumed authority expressed in these two scenes here: On the left, Aziraphale takes control inside the book shop as the angels and demons argue who is going to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub (finally found it after several months!) and on the right, Crowley is shouting at the assembling demons in the street that they are "out of order."

Onward, Patsy. (I hope you're still with me.)

1941, the Blitz part 2, minisode.

We've found Excalibur! On to Camelot!

[Edit note: I've added a few GIFs and screen shots into the sequence of parallels above because I was thinking over a few things since I posted and felt this actually sat better. To try and explain, as they don't exactly match as I would like, in the Holy Grail movie, King Arthur and the knights he has gathered rock up at the foot of Camelot and gaze up in awe at it. "Camelot!" Arthur declares to the party. "Camelot!" Galahad echoes in excitement. And a third "Camelot!" comes from Lancelot. What do we get in GO? Aziraphale leaps out of the Bentley (Crowley's black horse) and declares "The theater! Sophocles! Shakespeare!" I swear, if you put the two side by side, they would match. It's not just a reminder of how much time Aziraphale has seen pass by, or that we are seeing a tragedy play out. But damn it, I could so just see Aziraphale attending a Sophocles performance in Athens back in the day...]

Camelot was King Arthur's castle and home of his court. In S2 of GO the Windmill Theater is established as our court of Camelot where our 1941 Blitz-era Arthurian drama is to play out, involving Furfur and the zombies.

Yes, poor old Furfur. Two's company, three's a crowd, as they say. Now we know we're in Camelot, we need to be reminded of the central tragedy of the Arthurian story, that ultimately led to the golden kingdom's fall. Lady Guinevere, Arthur's queen, famously loved Sir Lancelot, and the two were passionate lovers. It was essentially a love-triangle at the top, with Arthur being jilted, but he wouldn't/couldn't discard his queen. Where do we see this playing out in 1941?

Furfur, pleased with himself for catching an angel and a demon in the act of consorting together (with the help of the zombies,) barges into the backstage dressing room, and confronts the lovers with their crime. But who is playing who in the Arthurian love triangle? I would say Furfur is clearly caught in the role of Arthur here. Consider the following exchange:

FURFUR: Hmm, well, well, well… What have we here? AZIRAPHALE: Sorry, have we met? FURFUR: Oh, no, you never had the pleasure, but… we have, haven't we? CROWLEY: Have we? FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember? CROWLEY: I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you. Sorry. FURFUR: I was right next to you. We did loads together. You use to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat. Anyway, whether you do or whether you don't, it doesn't matter. I'm here to inform you, as a representative of the Higher Powers of Hell, that you, Crowley, are in breach of the Infernal Code. Consulting and collaborating with an angel, Fell the Marvelous, aka… [opens book] Azirapalala. Azirapapap. Aziphapalala. AZIRAPHALE: [annoyed] Aziraphale

Furfur claims a past intimate relationship with Crowley, which Crowley spurns offhandedly. Crowley is playing Guinevere here, jilting Furfur/Arthur, which leaves the demon-smiting Aziraphale standing in for the handsome hero Lancelot (with his French connections, no less), and doesn't he make us weak at the knees when he drops his voice an octave in dominating disgust. (Is it suddenly getting hot in here...? Phew!)

Interestingly, looking back in S1 at 537AD Wessex, though, I would say that Crowley was Lancelot as the Black Knight, a role that Lancelot sometimes played in the legends, and Aziraphale would then be the fair maiden Guinevere. It certainly plays into Crowley's long term role of playing the knight who comes to the rescue of Aziraphale's princess in distress. Excalibur was no where in sight, perhaps still beneath the waters of the lake. Nor Arthur. Perhaps it was still too early in the story then...

I had originally suggested in my very first post that Furfur was given a stag as his demon avatar because he was wearing horns for being cuckolded by Crowley. But I wasn't quite thinking about it in context with the Arthurian legend! The stag is also often associated with royalty, plus while wandering around the medieval bestiary website that someone linked to, it interestingly notes that the enemy of the snake is the stag and the stork (Shax's avatar.) Ah ha!

So how can we extrapolate this knowledge into a possible appearance of the Arthurian theme in S3?

Will we see the love triangle of Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot come back into play and cause more chaos? I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the Fall.

Or will our lovers bring down a divinely-appointed ruler via their committed behind-the-back defiance of expected propriety?

Will Excalibur appear from beneath the waters, perhaps in another form, to declare a new king?

Could it even be a combination Jesus/Arthur, King of the World, returned? And they turn out to be a very naughty boy, disappearing into the night clubs of Times Square, New York, and that's how they lose him? (Social media viral sensation, anyone?)

I wouldn't be half-surprised if Greasy Johnson's name turns out to be Arthur, actually.

And no, I haven't forgotten that Adam's dad was named Arthur as well.

Bring on S3!

**Bonus**

If you've made it this far and you're thinking:

Let me leave you with this last connection.

In the back stage change room, remember Furfur delivers these lines:

FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember?

On the first level, he is referring the Great War in the Good Omens AU.

On the second level, Furfur is paraphrasing Milton's Paradise Lost.

On a third level, I can (and will in a future meta) connect this back to the training initiative paintball fight at Tadfield Manor in S1.

And even deeper on a fourth level, if you do know the Holy Grail movie well, you'll remember there is an odd little subplot in it, that infers that the whole King Arthur and his knights thing is merely a full-on violent cosplay that is murderously rampaging across the countryside in the present day with the police in hot pursuit. It's a strange juxtaposition between reality and dream, and you aren't quite sure what it is real or not. The ending is bizarrely and abruptly surreal as the two story lines collide in the heat of battle, as the police turn up and arrest the combatants. A bit like this:

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autistichalsin · 2 months ago

Text

I'm writing this letter to my parents and posting it here because I'm never going to send it to them. And I want to post it somewhere.

Dear mom and dad:

For so long I've told myself, with most of what you did (minus mom actively abusing me for years when she was drinking) that you did your best. And honestly, I do still think that was true. But I also deserve the right to say: your best wasn't fucking good enough. Not by a mile.

Mom, you physically, emotionally, and otherwise abused us for years. You used everything as an excuse. Drinking. Trauma. Me reminding you of dad who you were pissed at for starting an emotional affair. But I guess me undergoing trauma through you was never an 'excuse' to talk about it since you always screamed at me for talking about it with anyone outside the house since that was 'private family business'. Bullshit, you just didn't want anyone to know what a bad parent you were. Dad, you let this happen. I know she was abusing you even worse than me. How many fucking times did I watch her hit you? But you know what? You still had a responsibility to protect us from her and you never fucking did. Not once. The best I ever got was you giving me permission to leave the house all day when she was hungover and screaming at me. Fucking thanks a LOT, dad. If you couldn't stand up to her when she was doing that shit to us/me, you could have at least had the decency to divorce her. "But I'm scared if I divorce her she'll drink herself to death" well great, thanks for deciding for me that I can and should endure abuse to save her from her own choices. That definitely didn't create any kind of complex in me or give me severe problems asserting boundaries because I then started to feel like if anything happened after I cut an abusive person out of my life, it would be my fault. Nope. No issues with that. Thanks a fucking lot.

Thanks, mom, for never teaching me (and my siblings) ANY life skills, not cooking, not doing laundry, not driving, because you "wanted me to need you so I would never leave" and thanks a fucking lot, dad, for not stepping in, saying "no that's fucked" and teaching us anyway. Really great parenting. Instead of disagreeing with your partner's shitty parenting decisions, just cosign them and go "well she's my wife". Do you feel no shame at all at the fact that none of your kids learned how to cook until they moved out (and the one still left with you is in his mid 20s and doesn't know how)? How does that not fucking mortify you? Your kids didn't know how to do more than nuke a burrito and that fucking means nothing to you?

Thanks a lot, mom, for repeatedly accusing me and dad of incest when you were drinking, because I was closer to him than you. And then, years after getting sober, hitting me with "I'm sorry, I never had a dad growing up so I didn't know how to deal with you having a good relationship with him" LITERALLY FUCK OFF SO HARD are you literally fucking telling me you had kids and anticipated we would only have a relationship with you and not him? Actually don't answer that, I know for a fact you did because guess what, grandma fucking told me you were jealous of dad doting on me as a literal fucking baby because you felt like it was a sign he loved me more. YEAH MOM, he is going to love the new baby more than you, actually! That is what parents are supposed to do when they think the universe doesn't fucking revolve around them! Also, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH for screaming at me every time I did literally anything with him that didn't involve you, guilt tripping me about "loving him more than you". First of all, that wasn't how it worked back then, but second of all, YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR made it so that yeah, I fucking do love him more than you now. You know why, mom? Because he never said that he wished he could kill me. Or how about the time you got mad that one year we had money around my birthday and he got me Elton John tickets, and you screamed at him for not getting them for your birthday next month instead (even though you'd already been) and decided the best fucking reaction to that was to HIT HIM while I watched? Not only fucking abusing your husband in front of your kids, but making your kid, you know, internalize a message that they should try to be as invisible as possible at all times but especially on their birthday so that people they loved wouldn't get abused for it, seeing as that was the SECOND TIME you abused that man over his birthday present for me? But no, it's fucking all about you feeling like he loved his kids more (WHICH HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO) so fuck me, I guess. Fuck you.

And you know what, mom? While you were wailing that you were so victimized by him and I being close, you sure went out of your way to show favoritism to my fucking sister. Never missing a single one of her music performances but stopping going to mine after she quit. Missing EVERY SINGLE ONE OF my track meets. Yeah, I finished in last place in all of them, but I fucking loved doing it and wanted to fucking share it with you. Big fucking mistake. You got her a cello and private lessons with money we didn't have. You got the entire family to pitch in and help send her on a school trip, then the next year when I was old enough, you told them all I only played to be like her so that they wouldn't help so I wouldn't get to go on the trip. When I said I was hurt you missed my meets, you expressed bafflement that "I've heard of people in their 40s getting mad at their parents for that, but I never heard of anyone complaining while they were still young." When I told you about your fucking golden child sexually assaulting me, AFTER sexually assaulting my younger brother, telling you how she LICKED MY FUCKING NECK, you laughed and said "to be fair, I fantasized about your neck too." What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Do you actually think sexual abuse is funny when your golden child does it, or did you just want ME to think it was a joke so she wouldn't face any consequences for it? How about the fact that when the fact that she fucking RAPED my little brother, the son you were SUPPOSED to be able to pretend to give a shit about, you said that it didn't happen and I put lies in his head so his therapist would diagnose him with PTSD, implying I traumatized my OWN BROTHER just to get revenge on your golden child? How about the fact that you screamed at me for getting other family members to bring him to the police (where he was then laughed out of the station, which you obviously cared not at all about) but not doing the same when your BIL assaulted you, screaming at me that it was my fault that charges weren't pressed against him, when you were a GROWN WOMAN who could have filed the charges yourself, making me feel like it was MY FAULT that happened to you, and then trying to walk it back? Playing like you were some fucking paragon of responsibility and kindness for LATER coming back to me and saying it wasn't my fault? Too fucking late, mom. Thanks, though, for the decade of self loathing.

How about the fact that both of you decided you were "done" parenting when I was 15? My little brother was fucking 11 and he still needed you. Do you not feel even the tiniest bit bad that three of your four kids dropped out of high school? And the only one who finished- ME- still had to repeat a year? And that you promised me that if I finished this online program, because you were SO DESPERATE to see one of your four kids get a diploma (and had already written off my little brother instead of getting him fucking help, fucking fantastic job on that one) that we would go to the graduation ceremony on the other side of the state, then didn't because you blew all the money we had on cigarettes, alcohol for mom, and scratchy lotteries for dad? Remember how after that, you still tried to talk me into putting on my cap and gown and taking pictures at the park so that you would have pictures? (To your credit, you didn't push it when I said HELL FUCKING NO. Granted, I also didn't tell you the full truth that it was sheerly out of spite, because if I didn't get a graduation, no way in hell did you deserve pictures of an event that didn't happen.)

Hey, how about that one??? How about the fact that you fucking normalized addiction for me all my life, so that after watching you guys blow all our money on that shit, to the point we LOST OUR FUCKING HOUSE (yeah, real convenient to blame the 2008 recession when the foreclosure happened in 2010!) and after so many nights once I turned 18 when mom would drink and dad would bring me to the casino for a fucking break, how about the fact that I started struggling with it too? And then after I once lost my entire paycheck gambling, I came to you saying I'd realized I struggled with it too and entered GA and talked to my counselor about it so it would never happen again (and in fact while I have relapsed on gambling I have never blown more than $30 in a gambling binge since that day), and then you proceeded to FORGET it, and when I came home to visit you REPEATEDLY suggested going to casinos? I don't even use COOKING WINE when I visit because I care so much about mom's sobriety, but you can't fucking REMEMBER that I struggle with gambling long enough to not do that? I CALLED YOU AFTER THE SUPER BOWL saying that I was buying myself an imported plushie from Japan as my reward to myself for not relapsing, and you still can't be bothered to remember? But you sure as fuck remember my sister doesn't drink!

Oh, and speaking of you guys always fucking forgetting that I am hurt-able just as much as you are and am in fact my own person and NOT your fucking fixer! How about the fact that you repeatedly act surprised EVERY TIME I tell you I have anxiety? "YOU have anxiety?" YES! AND YOU ARE THE REASON I FUCKING HAVE IT! How can you be surprised I have anxiety when I literally spent a week in the hospital as a teen because I was suicidal. Literally how can any of this be a surprise. Did you think it just fucking went away? No, all that happened is that I stopped talking to you about any of it. Especially the fucking self-harm, on account of my sister starting to drink and do meth, and then starting to join you, mom, on terrorizing me. Did you forget the night she poured her beer on me, screamed at me that I was a 'faker' because she couldn't see me self-harm scars, and threw bits of meat at me because she wanted to upset me as a vegetarian? And the fact that you still let her stay with us after that? You must have been fucking thrilled to have a partner to fucking torment me with, mom. And then you both had the fucking nerve to mock me because I hid in my room all day and only come out for meals or for my classes at the community college. I was hiding FROM YOU, actually!!!

Speaking of addiction, how about you fucking smoking in the car constantly growing up, even despite me and my little brother being asthmatic. While constantly whining that the world is so hostile to smokers because we don't want to inhale your fucking poison. Thanks for the elevated risks of cancer from your secondhand smoke, really appreciate it.

Also, mom, fucking joke's on you! Remember those nights you'd fucking scream at me for not being girly enough? "Why don't you act like a real girl for once?" when I wouldn't start shaving my legs when I was going to take a swim class? "How can you be a girl if you don't do girly things, is it your long hair that makes you a girl?" Well fuck you, I'm not a girl. Eat my ass. I'm never telling you I'm not though. Even if I trusted you to be normal about trans people, I still remember how you fucking used my coming out as a lesbian to earn yourself brownie points online years after the fact. "My daughter told me she was gay, and I told her I already knew, and then she started to cry happy tears!" Bitch, I never once cried happy tears for you for any reason. What actually happened was that you and dad had a "cool, what do you want for dinner?" reaction, which I appreciated- BUT YOU FUCKING RUINED IT by trying to exaggerated it and then use it to get praise. So fuck you.

Also, hey, remember those times mom would throw me out of the house, often in the cold with no coat, and you, dad, would just let it happen? Fucking great times. Remember the times she threw things at me and you just said "leave the house as long as you can, I'll calm her down later"? Fucking wonderful. Thanks for the fucking support, dad, really.

Remember the times I'd take on your abuse, mom, to protect my younger brother? Remember the times I'd warn him to go hide and you'd scream at me for "interfering with your parenting"? And then you got mad when he started to see me more as a mom than you, and every time he had a discipline issue you'd yell at me to go deal with it because "you want to be his mom so bad, go be his mom" Remember the time I protected him, you screamed at me to leave, and then called up my grandma, told her I was attacking YOU and to call the cops (which she thankfully didn't do), kept the phone on while we were fighting so it would sound like I was the aggressor, pulled my hair, and fought so hard with me that it pulled my shirt off? This leading to my grandma labeling me a psychopath, threatening to say "what kind of person I really was" to the rest of the family, and leading me not to speak to her for years?

Remember when you, mom, heard me talking to my aunt making plans to move in with the in another state, and you wailing so hard that you were so sorry and you'd do better, only to stop the instant those plans were off the table?

Remember that time you, mom, walked in on me crying to my dad about shit you had pulled, and then glaring at me and saying "you're crying because I, what? Beat you?" before leaving?

Remember that time I had a UTI that wouldn't go away, requiring dad to bring me to urgent care twice in two weeks, and you, mom, screamed at me for "taking advantage of him"? Which led to me refusing to go to the doctor unless I absolutely had to because I was so afraid of people getting mad at me? And now you yell at me for never going to the doctor because while that shit rewired my entire brain chemistry, for you it was a fucking Tuesday?

Remember that time I was both really hungry and really tired after classes one day, so I asked my little brother to make me a sandwich, and then you, mom, screamed at me for acting like a "spoiled princess", making me feel like I am never allowed to ask anyone for anything no matter how small?

Remember when you both told us we could stay at home as long as we were either in college or working, and then when I announced my intentions to start working, you, mom, threatened to kick me out if I didn't do school, and then when I protested that I didn't want loan debt, snapped "everyone gets loan debt, suck it up" and then, after I started, laughed that you were never going to kick me out but you just wanted me to "get my life together"? Then later before I graduated with my two year degree tried to say it was because of you this was happening because you gave me that push? And then two days before graduation you had a crying fit in the kitchen because you were so devastated it wasn't my sister graduating?

Remember that time you, dad, were understandably upset and depressed after being abused by mom, but instead of getting therapy or divorcing her or literally anything, you decided to cry to me and then end the conversation by saying to ME, your CHILD, "if you had enough, you could kill yourself, but I'm stuck with her, you guys need me, I have no way out"?

Remember that time, mom, your best friend literally threatened to stop speaking to you if you kept treating me how you did, and rather than being a serious reality check for you, your takeaway was that I was "interfering with your friendships" and threatening that if I ever did that again, you'd find my best friend and tell her some of the bad things you think I had done?

Remember that time, mom, when I came to you upset about what my sister did to abuse my little brother, and you just snapped "you hurt him too!" and when I asked wtf you were on about, you said "you don't ever hug him!" when I was in fact refusing all physical contact from everyone but my toddler niece at that time due to the immense amounts of trauma you and everyone else in the family put me through? And rather than give me space to start feeling okay with it again, you encouraged my little brother to force me to hug him by blocking off the door to my room until I hugged him?

Remember how, mom, you admitted outright to trying to buy my sister's love? Remember how you arranged to have her meet some rescue guinea pigs in case she wanted one for her birthday, then when she got a snake instead, tried to cancel the meeting even though my birthday was very soon after, and it ended up being dad who said it was only fair I should be able to get one? Like could you make it any more obvious you'd fucking sell a kidney for her and would never do the same for me unless I had done something for you first? Could you make it any clearer that you just straight up can NOT stand to see me being any attention for two minutes of my life, even for birthdays or when I've achieved something huge, like, say, graduating with a Masters degree? But thanks for giving me lifelong issues with feeling selfish for asking even the tiniest bit, to the point that my therapist repeatedly had to tell me I wasn't selfish for wanting my family to fly out to see me graduate?

Speaking about graduations again, how about the fact that when I got my Bachelors degree, you, mom, yelled at me for wanting you there because flying would be too scary for you and my dad couldn't take enough time off of work to drive, and then when we realized COVID wasn't getting much better a year later and they were going to livestream the graduation, you yelled at me for saying that one of the few good things about COVID was that I could have you watching anyway, accusing me of "celebrating people dying so you could see it?"

How about the fact that you, mom lied about what happened, claiming that I flew my little brother out but never bothered to offer for you, when in fact I cried, begged, and offered to pay for the whole thing if that's what it took?

How about the fact that when I was presenting at an undergraduate research symposium for my major, you both said you weren't interested- not the issue, only some families watched the livestream anyway- but instead, you, mom, got mad when I later said I'd had my grandma watching, and denied you'd ever been invited? Because you only ever get mad when I include others in things you don't attend, either because you know it makes you look bad, or because you can't stand the thought that I could still enjoy celebrations without you?

How about the fact that you, mom, made me feel so guilty for trying to get you to come to my Masters degree graduation that I not only gave up entirely, but decided not to go myself? At least you, dad, had the decency to WANT to come and not make me out to be defective for thinking you should be there, even if you ultimately didn't fucking try hard enough to be there.

Remember the time, mom, right after I started college when you forced me to, when you demanded I use my student aid money to get you a bag of chips, and I said I couldn't because I didn't know how much books would cost yet, and then you yelled at me, and then I walked to the store and came back with the chips, and then you screamed at me that it wasn't about "the fucking Doritos" and then threw the bag at me and wouldn't touch them?

Remember that time, mom, when I introduced you via phone call to a girl I was seeing, and you immediately made the whole conversation about my sister, about how she was such a good person and you could tell this girl would really like her when they met? To the point that this girl finally texted me "I'M DATING YOU, NOT SAMMY'S SISTER! Why am I hearing all about your sister and not one thing about you, even an embarrassing story about you as a baby?" and left the phone call? And how you, dad, let it all happen, never once trying to stop her or redirect the conversation?

Remember, mom, when you needed dental surgery but couldn't afford it, so I took out a loan for you to get the surgery, and said my only ask was that you and dad pay it back on your own, and then you and dad only made TWO payments, I had to make the rest, and then when I stopped being able to afford it, you STILL didn't pay it, until the account got closed, my credit score took a hundred-point ding, and I got barred from ever having that line of credit again, meaning I can't use it for myself if I ever need a medical loan?

Remember ALL the fucking times all of you fucking used me as a therapist, and then when it was me, it was "YOU have anxiety?!" in the most shocked voice imaginable? I will say, it was nice of you to send a care package during that time my panic attacks were so bad I was having literally two a day for two months and I lost ten pounds, but you maybe... I don't know... could have like. Tried. To understand me as a person well enough to understand it was NO FUCKING SURPRISE I had anxiety, and "you're always the most put together of us all" is because THAT IS WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET YOU THROUGH THIS FUCKING SHIT ALIVE, and I hid my emotions from all of you because they were only ever used to fucking hurt me! And even after that time things went right back to normal, as evidenced by your constant 'forgetting' what I told you about struggling with gambling.

I don't even know how to end this, to be honest. I'm fucking tired and well past the point of realizing that if I wasn't your kid, I wouldn't like you. In fact, if you were the parents of one of my friends instead and you treated them the way you treated me, I'd probably despise you and would do anything I could to help that friend leave. There's a reason my life got so much better when I left you guys and moved to the other side of the country. I still visit you a lot because, in spite of everything, I do fucking love you, and I know you're getting older and won't be around forever. But honestly, if it wasn't for me feeling so responsible for you, me feeling like your wellbeing was my responsibility... If it wasn't for all the issues I got growing up with you two where I felt, still feel, like my happiness is the least important thing and like anything bad that happens to this family is my fault by default, and like I'm a 'bad person' who 'mistreats' you any time I have boundaries and like I have some kind of duty to prove to you that I am better than drunk-mom thought I was by always taking care of the family issues to my own detriment... I would have cut contact years ago and never looked back. I barely talk to my older siblings. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to entirely cut out everyone but my little brother. Or at least brave enough to tell you guys you've been fucking awful family to me, and often bad people too.

Mom, you fucking loved to read the Giving Tree to us when we were little. I used to think it was a really sweet story about the sacrifices of love. And then I got older and realized... huh. Why is it only the tree who ever does anything for the boy? Why doesn't the boy ever water her or plant other trees by her to keep her company? Why does it only ever go one way? Why does the tree only have duties to the boy just like I only have things I owe to you and not the other way around? And shouldn't it worry you/me/us that the story ends with the tree reduced to a stump that will probably die in a few years? And then it started making even more sense why you still love the damn book and read it to your grandkids when they visit, and I'm fucking horrified at it. The longer time goes on the more I see "but we're a family" ONLY ever goes one way. It's never "but we're a family" when I need you. It's only "but we're a family" when you need me to give up more and more for you all.

I'm fucking tired. And I really was willing to keep on going like the stupid fucking tree when I thought you were changing for the better. When you, mom, gave up drinking, and when you, dad, stopped enabling her shit. We worked so fucking hard to restore the trust. And that was the first time you started like... letting me have boundaries and you guys apologized to me and admitted none of that was okay. You got into counseling and started working on yourselves. And then you stopped. And it's really starting to fucking show. For now, it's just mom starting all the same old shit again... but I know how this story ends and I know that sooner or later it's going to be you, dad, enabling mom again at my expense. And I feel like the biggest idiot for ever thinking things would be okay as long as mom stayed away from alcohol. There's a reason folks in recovery talk about "dry drunks" and other equivalents. Because drinking didn't make you, mom, a bad person, you already were and it just removed the inhibitions that made you pretend. And you can remove those inhibitions just as well without it. You won't tell me you wish me dead without a drink, no, but you'll use and abuse me just as much, you'll scapegoat me just as much, you'll favor my sister just as much.

I messaged my little brother during one of my visits last year that I was so put off by how I felt loved, how I felt shocked that I could ask for favors or whatever else and not be yelled at for it and actually have it done to boot... and just that quick you slid back into what you used to be.

I'm really tired of asking you for just... the littlest things, okay? Dad, you at least... will see me and care about me. Like... you fucked up before, but at least I can still say without hesitation that you love me, no matter how bad you did fuck up. You actually care when I tell you about my struggles with job hunting, and I actually believe you when you say you're proud of my accomplishments. But when mom acts actively maliciously, you just don't care, and never have cared enough to stop her. You let her do all those things to me before and after. And it will never be any different.

Isn't it ironic? Because for all mom fucking abused me all my life for her suspicion that you and I, dad, loved each other more than we loved her, you and I both know that's never been true. You fought for her, but neither of you ever would for me. You were okay with me moving across the country to escape, but you would never leave her to keep us- me- safe. Not that it would have been okay for her to treat me the way she did even if I was the one you loved more, but it was never true. You'd never let me treat her the way she treated me. Ever.

So what the fuck do I do now? I hate that fucking Giving Tree book but there are times where I just feel like I'm too tired to stop any of this. Why should I have to be the bad guy and be the one to say this is the end? Maybe that's why the tree ended up as a stump in that stupid fucking book. Maybe the tree was just too tired to tell that stupid fucking brat, no, you can buy some fucking apples at the grocery store like everybody else. And maybe the tree was fully aware that no one cared about it unless it had something to give the stupid fucking brat, too, so what was the point of leaving anything for itself if either way it was never going to be fucking appreciated?

... Whatever.

I guess you're okay with how things are, anyway, because you always have been, even when things were 100 times worse. And I mean, let's be honest, I was always the only one who wasn't okay with it, for obvious reasons. And that in turn led to me being scapegoated worse and hurt worse. Everyone else was willing to play happy family, and I wasn't because I was being hurt the worst, but that meant everyone else kept lashing out at me worse because I was the one making a fuss and trying to tell family secrets outside the family and shit like that. So what does it matter anyway? It's always the same whether any of you are drinking or not. I'm the only one who sees a problem, always, so that means I'm the real problem.

Whatever. If you guys are happy with broken things, even when you started fixing them and saw how good things could be, I guess I can go back to pretending to be okay with broken shit too. I at least have a best friend, who is more my sister than the one who shares my DNA, who sees that I deserve more than broken shit, and maybe if I'm lucky one day I'll have a partner or someone who sees it too. And maybe if I keep doing things to fix my broken things, like therapy, maybe you guys will decide you want to start fixing things again too. Because despite everything you've done, I think you deserve better than broken shit too. I think you deserve better than just being passive aggressive with each other when you have problems, which inevitably grows into you yelling at each other. I think you deserve a happier and more stable marriage than that. I think you deserve to have hobbies and friends and things that get you to leave the house sometimes for things besides work and grocery shopping. Dad, I know you used to be a social butterfly and loved doing your sports leagues until mom forbade you from leaving her. You're a little too old for a lot of sports anymore, but maybe you could still find something to do. There's senior centers around you could maybe do stuff at. I think you deserve better than what you do to yourselves just as much as I deserve better than what you've done to me too. But I also know as well as you do that fixing things takes energy and sometimes it's easier to live with the broken things than it is to fix them. So I get it, too.

But I wish you would go back to how it was the last few years where I didn't get broke worse by talking to you. I miss the things you'd tell me you learned from your therapists. I miss hearing you catching yourselves when you'd do something like violate a boundary. I miss you realizing that some of the stuff you put me and my siblings through wasn't okay. I miss the Twitter posts you used to make, mom, about how you know it's kind of too late to not perpetrate the cycle that you went through with your stepdad, but that you're still going to try to fix it. I miss that side of you. The side of you that at least tried to be better than what you were when you were drinking. Now I think you've given up, I guess because of the health issues making you too tired to fight anymore, I don't know.

I'll be here as long as I can, I guess. Maybe you'll figure it out or maybe you won't or maybe things will go right back to how they were when I first moved out, with mom calling me every night to scream at me and dad just giving a milquetoast "I'd better go make sure she doesn't hurt herself, have a good night, love you sweetie." I guess that's up to you. But I can't promise you I'll be able to sit here forever. I was a teenager then, but now I'm an adult with a graduate degree, and I think I'm ready to start looking for a partner and maybe start a family one day, and I won't always have the energy or time to do the stuff I do for you now. Or who knows, maybe I'll be the fucking stump tree at the end of that stupid fucking Giving Tree book because I'm too tired and too scared to ever properly stand up to you. I guess that part is up to me, just like the rest is up to you.

I'm tired. I miss what we had the last few years. Please don't give up on that. I miss feeling like I actually have two parents who love me.

#abuse tw #tw everything tbh

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novankenn · 1 year ago

Text

So... in the same vein as Jaune the Dragon (s)Layer...

Jaune the Demon (s)Layer!!!

(Cue majestic and awe-inspiring orchestral music)

Ren was sitting behind his desk in his office at Section 66... the Bureau of Celestrial Affairs. His partner Nora was seated on his desk, swinging her legs back and forth.

Nora: I'm worried, Rennie...

Ren: It's about Jaune isn't it?

Nora: Yes.... he went to inspect that Hell-Mouth and hasn't come back... it's been like two months! Something must have happened to him! What if he fell in!

Ren: I agree, but there is nothing we can do... the Hell-Mouth closed up, so there is no way for us to do anything... we just have to hope...

Both Nora and Ren jumped to their feet as the door to Ren's office burst open, revealing the form of their intern, Oscar Pine.

Nora: Oscar!

Oscar: *out of breath*... back... he... back...

Ren: Oscar? What's...

Oscar: It's Jaune!

Nora: Jaune?

Ren: What about Jaune?

Oscar: He's BACK!

Nora/Ren: Where?

Oscar: The cafeteria!

Nora basically runs over Oscar in her haste to get to the cafeteria, with Ren lagging behind her by only seconds. Throwing open the double doors, she sees him. Her lost friend and probably the weakest and most unlucky Demon-Hunter the Bureau has.

Nora: Jau.... who the in the hell is that?

Jaune: Hi Nora, oh... um... yeah.... this is Pyrrha.

Nora: How could you bring a Demon into our sanctuary? How Jaune? How?

Jaune: Um... I walked her through the doors?

Ren: I don't think that was what Nora was getting at, Jaune.

Pyrrha: *flexing her great, bat-like wings, her spade tip tail lashing back and forth behind her* I don't like the tone you're taking with my Jauney-wany... You should... apologize.

Nora: Whut?

Pyrrha: Apologize to my husband!

Ren: ...

Nora: How? When? HOW?

Jaune: It's a funny story... um...

Ren: You fell into the Hell-Mouth didn't you?

Jaune: *reaches up and rubs the back of his neck* heh... um... not fell per se... um more like tripped?

Ren: That's the same thing.

Jaune: Well... I tripped and after a longtime to think while tumbled through darkness I landed on *blushes* something soft and cushy...

Nora: Soft and cushy? *Eyes Pyrrha's 'assets'* Right.

Ren: Jaune has she...

Pyrrha: I have not! This cuddley wuddely cutie landed on me, and was so apologetic about it... I just couldn't devour his soul... *blushes* besides no one has EVER touched me the way he did.... it was so invigorating!

Ren: ...

Nora: You face planted into her tits... didn't you?

Jaune: ...

Pyrrha: But that wasn't the most lewd thing he did to me! After ravaging my bountiful bosom... he ... he... *blushes and hides her face behind her clawed hands* ... he...

Nora: Don't say it! We have to remain PG-13!

Pyrrha: HELD MY HAND!

Nora: I said no.... whut? Seriously... what?

Pyrrha: Held my hand. He was so kind and gentle. He didn't judge me, he just accepted me... I felt so warm and safe... it was so EROTIC! I couldn't help myself.... it just... just made me need to keep him in my life!

Ren: ...

Nora: That's what counts as erotic in Hell? What the F!

Jaune: Anyway, after Pyrrha and I talked for a bit, she decided she would help me get back to the mortal realm, but taking me to the gates of the Underworld.... and boy what a trip that was! I thought it was NEVER going to end.

Ren: Jaune... how far did you 'trip'?

Jaune: I don't remember... Pyr what level did you control?

Pyrrha: The ninth.

Ren: ...

Nora: How in the blazes did you get from the Ninth level of Hell to the gates of the Underworld? There's only two of you!

Jaune: Made some friends on the way.

Ren: And these friends, do they happen to be demons as well?

Jaune: Well duh! They were all living in hell.

Ren: Were?

Jaune: *sheepish grin* Well, they all kind of came with me and Pyrrha.

Ren: Came with you?

Jaune: Yes?

Ren: DO I dare ask where they are now?

Jaune: Human Resources.

Ren: Oh, oka... why are they at Human Resources?

Jaune: Getting their ID cards, and filling in their tax forms.

Ren: IDs and Tax forms?

Jaune: Well, they are... um... my wives?

THUD / THUD

Jaune: *worriedly looking at the passed out forms of his friends,* I wonder if they've been working too hard?

Pyrrha: Enough of that now, sweetie. Eat up... you're going to need your strength... *a lecherous grin crossing Pyrrha's features* it is to be our... wedding night after all.

Oscar finally having recovered from being trampled, enters the cafeteria sees Nora and Ren out cold. He shakes his head and walks past, heading for the main doors to the lobby. He pulls one side open and freezes, before stepping back and closing the door softly.

Oscar: I quit.

#rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #nora valkyrie #lie ren #arkos #oscar pine #who are the other wives?

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yrwnrsk · 9 months ago

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I said to myself this affair never will go so well

But why should I try to resist when baby I know so well

I've got you under my skin

#benny and my courier oc reyna!#I've worked on this too much that i cant tell wether its good ir not but at this point art is art #and art cannot be defined by bad or good #or “finished”#fnv #benny gecko #benny fnv #fallout #fallout new vegas #this was drawn over Romantic Couple btw #my art #courier reyna jiménez

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double-0h-no · 5 months ago

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Full Disclosure

This is my prompt fill for "kept secret" from the whump table, and 777 from the word count table, my personal nemesis this week.

Boy this was a bother. I don't know how the rest does it, landing on an exact word count, especially one below 1k. If brevity truly is the soul of wit, there's bad news for me. Huge thanks to @l219tj for supporting me so much, I don't think this would have gotten anywhere if you hadn't let me rant at you for lines on end. I hope you enjoy some domestic angst and finally some 00Q from my side.

CW this time around for vague discussions of medical issues, just to be on the safe side.

on ao3

A letter Q couldn't wait to open until he really was alone with no chance of James coming in starts a conversation Q would have wanted to avoid altogether.

"And you didn't think it prudent to tell me?"

Q didn't dare to meet James' eyes, so instead his gaze rested on the opened letter on their dining table.

"Do you know what I'd been telling myself these last weeks?", James went on. "I was so convinced you were either cheating on me, or selling off some blueprints, or following a lead on your own because M had told you to drop it, and a hundred more things, and at the same time I knew you wouldn't.

"Because I bloody know you, and you've never... You wouldn't do that to me."

And now he had, and there was no taking it back. Q knew he should have handled it better, knew that it was the one thing not to do with James. Keeping secrets. He swallowed harshly, but set his jaw.

"Did you really think you'd get away with it? Not telling me?"

And that rubbed Q the wrong way. "Get away with - James, I wasn't trying to - Of course I would have told you! If there was something to tell. But according to this letter," he grabbed it and held it up, "there isn't."

"Q, this is a gene test. I happen to know that this is one of the last resorts any doctor takes. They will take three MRIs before they do that. So for how long has this been going on?"

"Going - You make it sound like did have an affair!"

"Well, you do have an ex in Medical," James said dryly, and Q slammed the letter back down on the table.

"Are you serious right now?! I've been to - I don't even know any more how many appointments, and how many different specialists, and you seriously wanna call names now?!"

"And how am I supposed to know that?!" James matched his volume. "How am I supposed to know to how many specialists you've been?! I don't even know why you had a need to see them!"

"Well, good thing those tests came back negative, then, because it really can't be all that serious!"

James threw his hands in the air and started pacing. "Yes, just spiffing, because what I'm so concerned about right now is what the doctors say, or that you haven't told me!"

"What is your problem, then?!" A sudden movement followed by a loud clonk made Q realize that this time, he had shouted - and spooked Velma, who'd dashed to the safety of the cat tree. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Truth be told, he was beyond relieved that the test had come back negative, and all he wanted to do was cry with relief and ride out the endorphins, but now he was here, stuck in a fight with James because - well, because he'd fucked up.

"I'm sorry, James, I..." He took another deep breath. "When this first started, you were on a mission, and by the time you'd returned, Medical had jumped the first scare on me, and I... I both didn't want it to be true, and I didn't want you to worry for nothing. And it looks like it truly is nothing." When James didn't answer for several seconds, Q looked back up at him, but couldn't read the expression at all.

"I don't care about that right now, I -" James interrupted himself again and stared at him in utter disbelief. "How hard is it for you to believe that I might be worried about you?"

"Worried? James, those results are negative, there's no-"

"Is it gone?", James cut him off. "Whatever made you go to Medical in the first place. All those tests came back negative and we know that all that means is that Medical hasn't found a cause, not that you are alright. Because unless you are, yes, I am bloody worried."

Of course he wasn't. The test result had felt like a victory, as if this declared him healthy and all evil would fall away. But James was right. This only meant he still didn't know the cause.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Both for not telling you, and for snapping."

To his surprise, James snorted. "How often have I tried to hide an injury from you? I'm rather sure it was Bates who told you about the knee surgery. I'm still angry about this, but darling, it's... not the number one priority here. So. Do you want to tell me what's been going on?"

Q sighed, pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes and gestured vaguely at the sofa. "Alright. Let's sit down, I'll fetch some tea, and I'll tell you the whole story from the start."

#00q #james bond #q for quartermaster #007 fest 2024 #double oh no fic #station atlantic

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damnitiloveyou · 1 year ago

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I guess I wanted to punish myself last night so I made myself fully catch-up on the last two weeks of Emmerdale. I know we all say how bad it is, but bad is being too kind. This is a truly terrible show.

I know Maxine is gone and I'm sure they've lost a few other writers here and there (SM doesn't count she never should have been a writer) but for the most part the writing staff seems intact. These are the same people who were writing for Robron (of course Ryan and Danny added to the material but). The same people who wrote some incredible episodes. What happened to these writers? What happened to these directors? There is no way they believe they are delivering a quality product. Part of me thinks they know it's shit so they stopped caring as well.

Do you remember when Danny exited the show and everyone, including him, said it was time? That he was phoning it in and it showed? This is an entire production of phoning it in. The writing. The storylines. The acting. All of it is being phoned in. Everyone involved seems and looks bored. I know there are people upset about how mean and nasty this version of Aaron is, but Danny at least seems to be having a good time. He at least looks like he's trying. Also I hate the characters he's being nasty towards. I don't care that he's hurting their feelings. That's a problem. I should care at least a little. But they have decimated some of these characters to the point of no return, at least for me. I will never care that Chas and Paddy are upset about something.

They have to hire a new producer. The producers have no interest in actually telling a story. They have zero interest in the foundation. They are interested in hitting certain points of a story. They are completely disinterested in building a story. They leave out the entire buildup, which is the interesting part of the story! They don't give anyone time to invest or even understand what is going on. How did that character get from A to B?

The couples make no sense to me. They feel like they just sat in a room and threw paper on the floor and the names that ended up near each other were paired off. Caleb and Tracy came out of nowhere. I don't know why they're having an affair but at least they have chemistry. I keep being told Matty and Amy are a couple. They aren't written like a couple, at least not in the two seconds of screen time they get. Relationships are the important part and the producers have zero interest in growing and letting us actually see the relationships develop. Remember the build up to Robert and Aaron's first kiss? It was so so good! And that was largely due to the fact we actually got the buildup!

I don't know, this got very long and I'm sorry but it makes me sad. I desperately want Ryan/Robert back but I don't want these people touching that character or Robron. It's depressing 😔

#emmerdale #robron #robert sugden #aaron dingle

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jake-s-azaleea · 6 months ago

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love blossoms in crisis

One shot

pairing: fem/MC x Jake

Warnings: spoilers duskwood episode 8-10 maybe.

.An old idea I had but never posted.

******

You have agreed to the kidnapper request, and while Jake begged you to stay safe you thought about the MWAF's proposal: he would free Hannah if you go to Duskwood. Now you are right at the place he indicated, Grimrock waterfall. You find the hatch hidden in the ground just as he indicated and head into the iron mine. When you manage to go down, you hear footsteps that make you alert, you are being pushed against the damaged wall, and a hand covers your mouth.

"I told you to stay out of other people's affairs, didn't I, MC?" he said in a lower voice. This time was different. The vile voice who once called you in the middle of the night was no longer here.

"I am here now, you can let Hannah and Richy go. You got what you wanted" you whispered.

"It's not over yet, MC. I told you to not come here. You promised."

At the sound of these words you were left speechless. "You promised"? But that can't be. No, he would not do that. Not to you. Not to your dear ones. Right?

Right?

"Come on, MC. It's me. While you drove here I'm sure you've seen the Chinese restaurant across from the motel I stayed at."

Your E/C eyes were now filled with tears and you just couldn't believe it. Betrayal.

"It was you from the start, wasn't it? When I received my first threatening call and you told me it was a good thing? When Jessy was attacked? When you assured me my friends will be safe when you knew damn well, Jake. You knew very well you're going to attack Richy while he was in a video call with me. You pretended to care and comfort me then."

"I didn't pretend to-"

"Stop. I don't want to hear it. I trusted you."

"MC, listen to me. I never wanted to hurt you. It started all with the kidnapping but she was treated well, I promise. But then things escalated, It eventually was out in the media. I needed to protect myself."

"Monster."

"You don't mean it, MC. Come on... You know our bond was deeper than the meaning of this case. It was us against the world."

"You hurt my friends. You hurt me." You sobbed.

"You're still so naive." He said with a sly grin.

"Let them go" you said quietly.

"Under one condition. You come with me."

"I'll hate you forever. You could've done it so differently. I would've killed to be the the wind blowing through your hair when you were thinking about something else but me. I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside." You whispered in the end.

"It was no other way. Things were meant to happen as they did."

"It doesn't make sense. Just kill me already and let them go. Please"

"You can text your friends to come to pick them up in 10 minutes. But kill you? I didn't lie when I told you I love you. You should know, you always read people so well."

"Love? I doubt that you are capable of loving." You cried.

"MC... If it weren't for you, Hannah and Richy would still be missing. Love blossoms in crisis. Those moments really brought us together. Even if you don't want to admit that now."

Duskwood groupchat

MC is now online

MC: Guys...

Cleo is now online

Jessy is now onine

Jessy: what happened, MC?

Thomas is now online

Thomas: Why didn't you answer us?

Dan is now online

Dan: Yo I bet she went to face the crowboy alone

Lilly is now online

MC: Well about that...

Jessy: MC!!! 😯

MC: To take Richy and Hannah well, come to the Grimrock alone in 10 minutes. Come alone.

You closed your phone and climbed on the ladder outside after Jake. You looked around. Forest. Dark forest as far as you can see. You wish you could see more than that. Your eyes shift back at him. Could you really leave all your life behind and run away with him? But you couldn't refuse it. Richy 's life was at stake. You did it for him. Did you?

His eyes seemed empty. No worries, no sentiments. His emotionless gaze enveloped you. The man that once was your oxygen, now just appeared to be a nightmare. It wasn't light anymore around him. The spark was gone. You were just a shadow there.

After a few minutes 2 cars pulled up and Jessy ran towards you. Jake pulled out a gun and instinctively you place yourself in between him and her. He points the gun to the ground and nods as you hug Jessy tightly. The others got out of the cars and kept a considerable distance. Well, not Lilly.

"You fxcking bastard!" she screamed as she raced to the kidnapper.

'Fearless', You thought to yourself

Jake hadn't moved an inch. Lilly slapped him like he was nothing but a plush toy. Definitely not like the man who kidnapped her sister. He didn't even push her away. He stood there like he was self conscious he deserved it.

"Lilly, get back here!" Cleo screamed creeped out by the mysterious figure.

Lilly took three steps back and watched him in the eyes as went back down in the mine to bring the 2 missing people.

You look back in one of the cars, at Dan as you murmured a "sorry, you were right". He opened his mouth to say something but the hatch opened again and first climbed up Richy.

You ran in his arms and cried about how sorry you are. He put a fainted smile and hugged you back.

The following person was Hannah. Her dazzling smile that You could remark on every photo of her, reappeared on her face as she saw her friends. Thomas ran straight to her and he embraced her so lovingly.

You looked at them and then back at Richy and Jessy who couldn't stop saying sorry to each other. This must be love.

Jake raised his gun and nodded, signaling the further leaving.

'I did it, I put an end to this nightmare ' You thought to yourself.

Jake came behind you and grabbed your arm. As you walked through the forest, you looked back at the family you chose for the past 2 weeks as they shed tears at every step.

As soon as the mist covered every trace of love and friendship, Jake sighed.

"Maybe one day you'll find the love you had for me and manage to forgive me."

***

Not accurate to the actual game plot but a nice idea.

Let me know what you think.

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multifamdomfan · 1 year ago

Note

Hi, if requests are still open and if you still write for Hamilton could I request an imagine where the fem!reader was Alex’s wife, they met and fell in love during the Winter's ball. And, she first met him when she was in the war (dressed as a man) but Alex never knew it was her until he found out himself. And maybe has a near-death experience fighting in a duel for any reason you want. And years later, she maybe becomes a lawyer/statesman or whatever as long as she's not a housewife and she finds out Alex had an affair and she like goes to Laurens for comfort but he ends up confessing he has loved her since day one when they met at the Winter's ball but saw she was so much happier with Alex (and it's kind of like an Angelica situation.) and how he would have never if he knew that was what Alex was going to do to her. And finally, he asked her to be with him. Also, could you please make the reader Washington's adopted daughter? I know it's a lot but even if you don't do it, thank you for just reading it. I just kinda wanted a lot of angst followed by fluff but since I can't stand the thought of having been with some who cheated on me and didn't love me, could you please make Alex still love the reader but realize if he wanted her to be happy, he would have to let her go and as soon as the Reader is thinking "You know what? I should forgive." He just dies. I feel bad for the Reader, not gonna lie. Thank you again. <33

Prompts: "May I have this dance?" (Hamilton to Reader) "Shit, are you bleeding?!" (Hamilton to Reader) “You need to leave. Right now.” (Reader to Hamilton) “You need to let her go.” (Anyone who seems right to Hamilton) "Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?" (Laurens to Reader) But hey, it’s up to you, I'm just giving suggestions on what I was thinking.

Note: And yes, in my fantasy world, Laurens doesn't die and is still alive in Act II.

😮😍 I love this request! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I hope you don't mind but I'm turning this into a two part.

warning: angst,character death,cheating

Why does love hurt so much? Pt. 1

I was reading my book in my room when my dad, George Washington, knocked gently against the door. Well if you want to get technical he's my adoptive dad. My biological parents when I was young and was sent to the orphanage when George and his wife ,Martha, adopted me. I closed my book and put it down and called out "Come in!" When Dad came in I immediately knew that something was wrong. He was fiddling with his hands and his eyes cast down onto the floor looking frantic. "What is it father?"

"Y/N I need to tell you something," I looked at him curiously while Dad was looking like he was trying to find the right words to say. "There is really no way to say this but I'm going to go to war." He said this quickly and nervously watching to see how I'll react.I didn't respond, not at first I looked at him with a blank expression trying to comprehend what he just said.

"What?" He remained silent like he was waiting for me to tell, scream, or do something. "Let me come with you, I can help!"

"No! You're not coming, it's too dangerous."

"But you're going! You will be there to look after me and you taught me to use a gun since I was ten!"

"I won't always be there to look after you, I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you. Just promise me that you won't follow me."

I sighed in defeat "I promise." Dad came up to me and hugged me. I hugged back thinking about how I lied to his face.

I put my hair that's now shoulder length and tied my hair up. I looked down at myself with my uniform on with bandages over my breast to flatten them out. I nodded at my reflection in approval before walking out of my tent. My dad found out that I was pretending to be a man to fight in the war immediately but he kept my secret.

I approached my friends Lafayette, Hercules, John, and Alexander. We became friends quickly, and no. They have no idea that I'm a woman and plan to keep it that way. There is one problem, I developed a crush on one of the four men. It's Alex, I couldn't help it. He's passionate, smart, and kind. "Hey James!" Hercules called over to me.

Yes James is the name that I chose because it was my biological dad's name. "Hi." I responded, lowering my voice and octive to keep from sounding too feminine. I sat next to Alexander and joined in on the conversation before we heard a loud noise. We all turned our heads to see what it was. It was the red coats, we sprung into action grabbing our guns.

There was death all around us with an overwhelming smell of blood but we had to keep moving I killed a couple men before they could kill me first. Then I was a man aiming for Alexander about to shoot, without thinking I shoved him out of the way and took the bullet. All I could hear was a distant yelling at the word "James!" He quickly rushed over and got in my field of vision. "Shit, you're bleeding."

"You need to leave. Right now." I responded not wanting him to find out. Alex ignored what I said and ripped my shirt off and saw the bandages being soaked with blood. He looked shocked at first but knew it wasn't the time to talk about it and used my shirt to apply pressure to the wound and rushed me to the medics.

#alexander hamilton #alexander hamilton x reader #hamilton x reader #hamilton musical #hercules #marquis de lafayette #john laurens #john laurens x reader #george washingdad #martha washington #george washington

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otherworldseekers · 10 months ago

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I'd tried so, not to give in I said to myself this affair never will go so well But why should I try to resist when baby I know so well I've got you under my skin

(Pose flipped for hair reasons. Would sell my soul for hair that could actually do what Rita's hair is doing.)

#Severia x Nero #Severia Zetsuen #Nero tol Scaeva #my gposes #FFXIV screenshots #gposers #vintage portraits

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jokertrap-ran · 27 days ago

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BAD MEDICINE ~Infectious teachers~ [PC GAME] Kashu Remu (Chemistry) Route Translations (Part 16)

MC’s name is retained as the original MC name Kawana Hina.

* Words within ‘ ‘ are spoken in English – *Spoiler free : Translations under cut!

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16

⊳Choice: Go participate in Club Activities

Kashu: Kawana-san. Are you here?

Kashu: I’m only here out of reluctance. I really don’t want to be doing this…

Hina: I see?

Kashu: I was told to conduct interviews, so I didn’t really have much of a choice.

Kashu: I’m the advisor of the Chemistry Club, and you’re the only member.

Hina: Didn’t I send in my letter of resignation…? Never mind, that doesn’t matter.

Hina: (He’s been behaving so strangely after I’ve recovered from my cold that I don’t really care about why I was even mad, or how hurt I felt in the first place.)

Hina: (I don’t think humans were made to be worrying about so many things at once.)

Hina: (I really have to thank Kuzuha-sensei for having pointed out something that I’d never thought to notice…)

Kashu: Letter of resignation? I’ve never seen it, so maybe it never got accepted in the first place.

Kashu: I don’t remember ever submitting anything like that to the academic affairs department. And I don’t remember where it was either~

Kashu: If you want to leave the Club, then why don’t you go submit it yourself?

Hina: Enough alre- never mind. It doesn’t matter anymore, like I said. I’ve decided not to quit.

Kashu: Hmm~ Enough about that, let’s do the survey~ Please answer my questions~ You can treat it as a test of sorts.

Hina: You’re of the irresponsible sort, aren’t you…

Kashu: I’ve told you already, I really don’t wanna do this~ I’m only doing this because they’d get mad if I don’t~

Kashu: I’d be troubled if the Chemistry Club got disbanded~ That would mean that I’d have a lesser budget for my experiments~

Kashu: I’m in a real pickle here~

Kashu: Let’s see… how long have you been in this club? Ah~ I guess I don’t have to ask you that. You haven’t been here for even a year.

Kashu: As for which days club activities are held… We’re on a break right now, so that’s not applicable.

Kashu: Hmm~ I guess I’ll just write that we don’t have a fixed club schedule. That should do, right? Huh, I’m not hearing an answer from you~

Hina: R-Right.

Hina: (Is it really okay for him to be filling in all the answers himself?)

Kashu: Next, we have… Ahh, this is so troublesome~

Kashu: Why don’t you just fill the stuff in on this sheet of paper by yourself~ It would be much easier that way.

Hina: Huh? Wouldn’t it be bad if I just did that by myself?

Kashu: I know it's an interview, but do I really have to ask you every single question? No, I suppose not.

Kashu: Here you go! And please bring it to the staff room once you’re done filling it in!

Hina: I couldn’t possibly…

Kashu: It’ll all work out~ Just pass it to Tojo-sensei. Here!

Hina: O-Okay.

Hina: (He’s irresponsible, alright. Terribly so, in fact…)

Kashu: …Oh.

Hina: (The paper fell to the ground. I’ll have to pick it up.)

Kashu: Aw man~ Why did it fall to the ground~ Why’s a piece of paper running away~

Kashu: There we are.

Hina: (What?)

Kashu: …Huh.

Hina: Ah.

Kashu: Why are you hiding under the desk…?

Hina: (His face is right in front of me!)

Kashu: Were you also gonna pick up the piece of paper?

Hina: Y-Yeah. I mean, you did hand it off to me.

Hina: (Never mind. He’d only get mad if I pick it up now since he’s already here.)

Hina: (Why is my head always filled with thoughts of him?)

Kashu: …Man~ If you were gonna pick it up, then you should have said something before I crouched down to reach for it~

Kashu: Well, never mind ~ My knees would get weak if I don’t stretch and bend them every once in a while.

Kashu: Oh, right. Like I said earlier, you can just fill the paper in whichever way you like.

Kashu: Huh…? Why are you passing it to me? And here I thought I told you to fill it in~

Hina: Well, it’s not like…

Kashu: It’s such a pain. You do it~ Maaan, I don’t have the patience to ask you each and every question, listen to your answer, and record it down.

Kashu: And I don’t want to get any more annoyed than I already am…

Hina: But there’s a warning written here that says that students can’t fill this in.

Kashu: Ehhhh~ Of course, it’s written in big letters that only the Club Advisor can fill this in, but…

Kashu: But, it shouldn’t matter at a time like this…

Kashu: …Fine. FINE.

Hina: Whoa!

Kashu: C’mon, you too~ Get up. How long do you intend to remain crouched down there? Take a seat on one of the chairs!

Hina: (I‘m never getting a break from this, am I… Honestly…)

Kashu: I just have to do this properly, right? I guess it is my job after all since I’m the advisor.

Kashu: Let’s finish this up quickly since we have to do it anyway! Now then, for the third question…

Hina: Okay…

———————————————

Kashu: …Is this all there is to it? Ahh, we’re finally done!

Kashu: I’m sure you must be relieved to be free of this task as well! See you next time!!!

Hina: And there he goes… I feel like we’re having proper conversations now compared to before.

Hina: He was always mad before, and it felt like he didn’t want to be around me at all, much less talk to me…

Hina: (Hmm, I don’t still don’t understand why he was that mad in the first place…)

Hina: (This is better than being completely ignored, but I hope he wasn’t just doing it because he was in a situation where he couldn’t ignore me…)

Hina: What am I to do about this… I’m so curious…

Hina: (Wasn’t I the one who was ignoring him in the first place? Isn’t it a little weird now that our positions are switched?)

Hina: But… It’s not like there’s anything I can do about it.

Hina: (After all, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.)

What should I do? ⊳Choice: Go see Kashu-sensei ⊳Choice: Go participate in Club Activities

#bad medicine infectious teachers #bad medicine infectious teachers game #otome #rejet #translations #kashu remu #tojo kairi #shido kaname #yanagi ryota #kuzuha kakeru #nagihara taiki

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chloeangelic · 1 year ago

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Why does it seem like everything you've put out lately is just trying to rip off netherfeildren? Like the art, the plots, the aesthetics... Especially weird since you used to seem to always hype them up

I went back and forth on responding to this but I’ve decided to because I don’t appreciate having my integrity questioned. I kind of expected that I'd get something like this because there are some thematic similarities between Seeking and SWITBOSH. However, I won’t respond publicly to anything else like this cause I think we’re all very over The Discourse, and tbh it’s a massive fucking insult to accuse me of ripping someone off when I’ve spent seven months writing ca 200k words of fic and developing my own unique style of writing. If you can’t see the difference between two writers, just because they write emotional depth and full sentences, then please read an actual book and not just brainrot fic. I’m gonna properly address everything under the cut - anon domming is back on the menu today.

That being said, because this feels weird and uncomfortable for me and likely for Vic, I’m turning off anons for the time being and I’m taking a posting break to decide whether I want to continue posting here at all or continue posting purely on AO3. I post there anyways under the same name. If you still have a bone to pick with me or my writing, please message me directly. Please do NOT pester Vic about this, I know very well that she does not enjoy The Discourse or any sort of drama. Everyone is sick of the copying discourse - please have some trust in writers’ self awareness.

Firstly, the words “recently” and “plots” should be defined here - I personally don’t see how stepdaddy Joel, pornstar Tim, sex addict Dieter, baby daddy Javi or any of Love Me back is similar to her works at all. The Seeking teaser I posted yesterday was similar to her Pink teasers purely because it had text on a photo - my text wasn’t even from the fic, it was a quote that represented the series as a whole and the quote that finally made the series crystallize in my head. It’s the quote I want people to have in the back of their mind when they go into reading it - it’s from the song that I consider the series theme. Our formatting is not the same. Yes, I have quotes at the beginning of the chapters - my friend sent me a bunch of poems and a couple, I felt were relevant to the story so I wanted to add them somehow. Several writers do this. I stopped putting in previews above the cut cause it was making it difficult for me to write the beginning of the chapters. My masterlist art is the same as, like.. Everyone’s else’s masterlist post - the norm on here is to have an artwork from Pinterest, the title slapped on top and the writer’s name. I literally just loved Pascalisbaby’s masterlist art so much I decided to do it too.

When you say plots, I’m assuming you’re drawing parallels between Seeking what is desirable and Someone’s Wife in the Boat of Someone’s Husband because cheater!Joel (or maybe even Pink cause DDLG, but I’m literally in a DDLG-type dynamic irl and I decided to incorporate it into a fic for once - there were CLEAR ddlg undertones in Love Me Back, it just wasn’t explicit. I also wrote several chapters of Seeking before Pink even came out, and I wrote a cheating + father in law oneshot this summer).

The MC in Seeking is based on myself and my own life, moving away from my parents in order to live with my boyfriend at the time very far away, who ended up being extremely absent and shitty. MC+Jeremiah relationship is based on Adam and Hermine from EXIT, Jeremiah is based on Tony Soprano, Gwen is based on Janice Soprano + a story I heard from my cousin about how his wife let him do all the childcare while she went on a women’s retreat. They are not in a marriage of convenience, the MC doesn’t feel bad about the affair at all, she never pushes him away, and Gwen has no plans on leaving. Sarah and Ellie are both 16 and living with Joel in Seeking. The MC does not have similarities to Sarah like she does in Love Me Back (which was also literally based on my own life) or Someone’s.

MC is a teacher who cheats with Joel - so is the MC in my post outbreak series I wrote many months ago. They're drawn to each other immediately cause I hate slow burn fics and I didn't feel like writing two chapters of him fucking someone else this time around. She goes out intending to cheat, and he thinks it'll sustain him for the next several years. The first thing I thought up in this entire series was Jeremiah - I had his character crystallized in my head for weeks before I planned anything else.

Of course Joel is unhappy in his marriage - neither Vic or myself would write a Joel who cheats for fun, that’s just not something either of us finds interesting. It actually started as a Sopranos AU, but I decided against going that route cause I don’t know enough about white collar crime. Also, if you are familiar with my writing you’ll know I love writing infidelity - it shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m writing a series with this as the central theme. The central question for Seeking is when is it okay to cheat? That’s what the entire fic is about. It’s not about him finding the love of his life after marrying someone else (like the summary of Someone’s), it’s about two instances of cheating and how we justify those two scenarios. Of course it has a happy ending - I’ve used up my non-happy ending quota for the year.

I’m not sure what you mean by aesthetics - Vic actually edits really nice graphics for all of her Mando chapters. She spends a bunch of time on those, and you’re doing a disservice to her by overlooking how unique her artwork is and how much effort it takes. She also made really cool teasers for Pink. I’m way too lazy for any of that, I just slam a moodboard together. I started doing 3 slot moodboards cause the 6-7 slot ones were a hassle. The fact that only art pieces are used in this series is half coincidence, half me being sick of trying to fit Pedro pics into the moodboards when the colors are often wrong.

I literally texted with her when I planned this series, saying I was afraid people would accuse it of being a ripoff of Someone’s, purely due to the Joel infidelity + uninterested wife factor, and she did not think the overall plot was similar enough to be of concern. I still hype her up, she just doesn’t post as often now so I don’t reblog as often, that’s pretty simple. I’ve also asked Iris, my editor, SEVERAL TIMES if it reads too similar to Someone’s or anything Vic has written - she is extremely familiar with both of our works and she did not think so. What exactly am I supposed to do when I’ve gotten the green light from everyone?

This specific anon didn’t mention the actual writing, though, which is funny and it makes sense because I don’t write like Vic and I don’t try to. Her vocabulary is way larger than mine, the diction and syntax are not similar at all. She actually uses metaphors, I use them very rarely and only when it’s super dramatic. My writing isn’t poetic, it’s not flowery, it’s not formal - it’s literally just how I think inside my own head. When I read my own writing, I imagine Charles Gross doing a dramatic reading. I learn like one new word every month and eventually I’ll add it to my writing when it’s something I’m confident using irl. She has a lot of depth to her fics, I also try to write with emotional depth - I’m sorry if that’s unfamiliar in a landscape of dbf porn with no plot and 5 word sentences (I’m shading my own first series here). Seeking reads more similar to the first series I ever wrote, which I never posted, than anything else I’ve written. Half of Seeking is also straight up daydreaming sequences cause that’s literally how I think - the MC lives a boring life and daydreams, so do I.

I’ve learned a ton from reading Vic’s stuff - I don’t read that much irl cause I rarely find English novels captivating, but her writing has really made an impression on me. I talk constantly about how much her writing makes me cry, and it really does. Reading her stuff has absolutely influenced me to be more confident about weaving in actions and little plot points that are more vulnerable and personal to myself, and that adds a lot of depth it otherwise wouldn’t. I’m very inspired by her, of course I am - but I know the difference between being inspired and trying to leech.

I’m sorry my writing style has developed. I’m sorry I no longer write like I did in April, with matter-of-factly short sentences and little emotional depth. I have short series and long series because some plots deserve more emotional depth and some don’t need it. I wouldn’t bother writing anymore if all I did was shady lawyer Joel or Father Joel and I never improved.

If you don’t enjoy my writing, please just unfollow. I’ve seen other fics on this platform that read similar to mine, some that have exactly the same plot points/origin stories, and at no point have I thought they were ripping me off. At some point, this specific fandom needs to realize that it’s possible for two writers to have similar ideas without it being one person copying the other. My personal opinion is that if you copy someone’s plot, you won’t be able to execute it well because you don’t have the ideas necessary to actually flesh it out. If you’re familiar with my writing, you know damn well I’m capable of coming up with my own ideas and plots. I feel zero need to rip other people's in order to gain traction - I have enough followers and idgaf how many notes anything gets. Please don’t overestimate my ability to give a fuck about my popularity in this fandom.

Anyways, thanks for making me want to vomit, anon, you truly made me feel like shit today and I hope you have a great night! I’m not sure how much I’ll be checking tumblr for a while so feel free to message me on discord under the same name.

#chloe answers

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