#I SAY I WANT TO BUT I BET ILL NEVER DO IT!!! BECAUSE THAT'S USUALLY WHAY HAPPENSS

[toiletdestroyer3415]

crying Because i want to do piktober but nobody knows about my OCS and i can't talk about them without boring everyone to death because i don't know how to be interesting

[citrusandrottefruit]

Diagnosed with Hanahaki, a genetic autoimmune disease, as a child, Steve has learned to live with it. Along the way, he finds a family and falls in love with Eddie. He is never cured, but he lives.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

After a few hours of talking, Steve decided what to do: for the next few days, he would just go to work as usual (after all, he couldn't miss any more) while his body began to adjust to the new medications, and once he felt more settled and at peace with himself, he would go to Eddie, then Hopper and Joyce, and then the kids.

In Robin's opinion, he should come out as soon as possible, but Steve thought it was a much better idea to alert Eddie about his health condition, see how he dealt with it, and only in a few weeks, after he had already gone through all the difficult conversations he knew he would have, talk about his feelings.

“What if he agrees to date me out of pity, Robin? I couldn’t stand it.”

“Eddie has a lot of feelings for you, but pity isn’t one of them. He looks at you like he wants to put that whole ‘eat the rich’ thing into action.”

“Maybe, maybe.” Steve reluctantly agreed, only because he knew Robin had the best intentions, but he didn’t have the same perception he did. They were in the kitchen, Robin having demanded to make a healthy breakfast. “But he only knows me as a high school athlete and a…”

“Fighter in the Upside Down?” Robin offered. She was looking right at him, having abandoned the fruit she was cutting. “A protector? Hero?” She pointed at Steve with the knife, her knuckles white. Steve stared until Robin set the knife down on the counter.

“Yeah. A fighter, a hero, a protector. Whatever. That’s how he knows me.” Steve crossed his arms. “Someone capable. Physically, at least. I’ve never been very smart, we don’t have the same hobbies, I’m not as passionate about music as he is. I can’t even smoke if he wants to spend his time smoking.” He ran a hand through his hair, already feeling his chest tighten, his breath starting to run out. “I can’t even get a job without you to convince someone to hire me.”

“Steve…”

“I’m not saying I’m terrible or anything. I’m not, you know that, but the only thing that’s exceptional about me is this illness and my involvement with the Upside Down. If it happens again, I don’t think I’ll be any use. I won’t be the hero you’re talking about anymore. It would be too much to ask Eddie to want me right after finding out the truth. So I’ll tell him, but only after he understands what it means to have Hanahaki.”

The discussion ended there, with a hug and Robin admitting that he was right and betting that she was right too. Eddie was in love, she was sure of it.

Despite believing that she had everything planned and resolved, a few hours after Robin left, Steve saw his plans being ruined by a hesitant and quiet knock on the door, followed by two loud knocks and another slightly quieter one. Steve opened the door and saw Eddie, who looked strange, rocking on his toes and looking around as if he were being chased by Vecna ​​himself.

As soon as their eyes met, Eddie twisted his hair and asked if he could come in. Steve let him, because he couldn't deny Eddie anything, but he still didn't feel ready to face him.

Steve turned his back and walked to the kitchen, because at least he could pretend to be busy cooking, just so he wouldn't have to face Eddie head on.

At first, Eddie didn't say anything, just watched as Steve put vegetables on the counter.

"Did I do something?"

"Hmm?" Steve hummed without turning around.

"You've been avoiding everyone. Dustin said he talked to you on the phone, you checked on Max a few times, and I know you've been answering all the kids on the walkie-talkie."

"Yes."

“I don’t understand. I thought everything was fine. That we were fine.”

Eddie’s voice was so weak that, against his better judgment, Steve turned to him.

“We’re fine.”

“Are you sure? I don’t…” Suddenly, his face turned as red as a tomato. “Didn’t I do anything to make you uncomfortable?”

And because he was a weak man, Steve leaned closer.

“No, of course not.” Steve smiled, wanting to make Eddie comfortable. “Why would you think that?”

“It’s been almost a month since we last saw each other.”

“I know.” The answer was so low and shaky that Eddie stopped playing with his hair.

“It was right after we left here, me and Wayne.” Eddie says, as if Steve didn’t know that. “I figured you might want some space, at first, because I can be pretty tiresome.”

“Nah, man, I never get tired of you.”

Eddie blushed again and looked pleased.

“Then I thought maybe you were upset about the move.”

“What? No, I know you guys need your own space. It’s not to offend me or anything.”

Eddie blinked owlishly and then laughed.

“Uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as me.”

“Ah!” Steve felt his face heat up. “Ah.”

With an appraising look, Eddie took a step forward. A huge step, which put the two of them almost chest to chest.

“Eddie…”

“I even thought you might have been hurt that you didn’t help unload our things when we moved, you know?”

“I wouldn’t be upset about something like that.” Steve mumbled, still not having the courage to walk away and wanting to run for the hills.

“Yeah, I know.” Eddie whispered almost inaudibly and Steve was forced to follow his mouth to understand. “That’s why I dismissed the idea.” Then he smiled and Steve had no doubt that he was caught ogling. “I couldn’t sleep well, because every time I woke up in the middle of the night, I remembered you.”

“Hm. Yeah. I… I almost looked for you last night, I guess I still haven’t gotten used to you moving, after all.”

Having regained consciousness, Steve prepared to step out of Eddie's bubble of personal space, but all he had to do was put one foot back and he was pulled back in. Despite the growing tension between them, the last thing he expected was to be kissed.

I warned you, Dingus! A voice sounding suspiciously like Robin resounded in his mind.

When Eddie tried to deepen the kiss, Steve remembered the bitter taste on his tongue, the traces of blood in his mouth, and felt disgusted and embarrassed. This time, it was easy to get some space.

For a few seconds, they didn't say anything, but Eddie looked so pale and scared, ready to run away, that Steve managed to force the words he had been dreading out of his mouth.

“I have Hanahaki.”

“What?” Eddie straightened up. “How? Who? Why?”

Although the questions were vague, Steve understood.

“My mom has it too. I was diagnosed when I was 9, almost 10.”

“10 years?” Eddie sighed. “10?”

Steve leaned against the kitchen counter, because he was tired, but he didn't want to have this conversation sitting down.

“Hanahaki?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Steve nodded. Eddie, alarmed, began to pace back and forth, stopping to look at Steve every few steps. “Hanahaki, that disease with roots in the chest? That destroys the lungs? The love sickness?”

“It's not like I described it, but yes, that's it.”

“Who was it, Steve? Was it Nancy?”

“What? No, man.” Steve laughed a broken laugh. “I told you I've had Hanahaki since I was little, I didn't even know Nancy back then.”

“So, who…? Was it your p…?”

“I don't know if you know this, but Hanahaki has genetic factors, as well as environmental ones. It manifested itself in my mother, then in me.”

“Your mother has Hanahaki?!” He seemed increasingly incredulous.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, and I think it needs to be now, before you say or do anything. Listen to everything I’m going to say, please.”

Eddie nodded in stunned silence.

“It’s scary, Eddie.” Steve said quietly, trying to find the right words. It was easier with Robin, maybe because he didn’t feel like he had to impress her, maybe because he already knew she would be by his side, maybe because he had left out so much. “Because I lived practically my entire life with Hanahaki. I don’t remember much of anything before the diagnosis, so I can’t compare it to… You know, a healthy body. I did a lot of things while I was sick, so I guess… I don’t know, I guess I thought I could do this, you know? That I could be strong all the time, that I could always run, be strong, that I… Geez, I said that before, right? Be strong.” Steve laughed humorlessly. “I could be an athlete who goes to the hospital almost every month and needs medication every day… I’ve had Hanahaki for 10 years. I’ve done a lot of things.” Eddie opened his mouth, but Steve held up a hand, so he pressed his lips together and waited. “I guess I didn’t even realize I was in the easy part. I didn’t stop to think about how much worse things would actually get, and I feel like it’s finally caught up with me.”

“Steve, you’re not going to die. You’re going to be okay, we’ll figure it out, anythi—”

“No, please. You have to listen, I’m just trying to think. It’s hard to talk about this. The only person who’s really listened to me is Robin, and we haven’t talked about it that much, so I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how I should say this, so it might take a while. I need to think.”

After a few moments of silence, Steve assessed Eddie. Before Vecna, Eddie had always been so full of life, so loud, so theatrical. Steve had noticed it at school and when he picked up the kids after the Hellfire Club. After the spring, he changed, as they all did. He carried an air of tragedy wherever he was, lost in thoughts of suffering, inspiring infinite sadness at times. But he never looked like this. So still, barely breathing, and yet so alert, so aware of everything. His eyes never stopped moving on Steve, almost as if he was waiting to be able to see Hanahaki.

Steve thought that if he wanted to, he could stay silent and Eddie wouldn’t argue, because people could give in so easily when they thought you were going to die with the slightest disturbance.

“I’m not going to be okay and I don’t want anyone to promise me that. Now I’m going to tell you because it’s scary. I thought a lot about how to tell you this… It’s scary because I’ve known Hanahaki for years, but this disease still surprises me. A few months ago, I was so much more capable than I am now. I’m losing things all the time. Basic, simple, easy things. Things that I once took for granted. That’s what you need to understand before you…”

Steve looked into Eddie's eyes and blushed, because he could hardly admit that there was something between them without being sure that everything was clear. Of course, that was when Hanahaki decided to act and he coughed until he bent over, barely able to breathe. Eddie approached uncertainly and trembling, but Steve just stepped back and took a Hanahaki inhaler. From his pocket, he took a handkerchief and spat out some blood with pieces of the roots half dissolved.

The silence stretched on.

"That's it. That wasn't even bad. But it wasn't normal either, I'm just going through a bad moment, but I'm already treating it, I'll get better, it just won't be the same as it was before Spring." Steve explained embarrassed. "I don't want you to commit to anything without being sure what you're getting into and I have no problem waiting."

Eddie grabbed Steve's hands, not caring about the handkerchief, which got his hands dirty too. His eyes, the first thing Steve noticed romantically, were huge and scared.

“Steve, I won't regret it, you don't have to worry about that.”

Although he appreciated the sentiment, Steve got irritated and pulled his hands away.

“Well, what I need now is to make sure you're sure.”

“Okay, whatever you want. I promise.”

“It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that you don't know what Hanahaki is like. I know what it's like.”

“I'll research it, I'll learn everything. I'll become an expert at this! I swear.” The promise drew a wet laugh from Steve and, as if by magic, Eddie felt infinitely lighter. His eyes lit up and he reached out his hands once more, hovering over Steve's arms. “Can I hug you?”

At Steve's nod, they approached. Very slowly and with uncharacteristic caution, Eddie placed his hands on Steve's back. Steve huffed out a laugh and squeezed Eddie tightly, pulling him even closer.

"I won't break."

After that, the conversation was vague. Steve figured Eddie had a million questions, but he settled for asking if, even though he didn't know much about Hanahaki yet, he could stay and spend the night. As a friend of Steve's and nothing more.

For what seemed like the thousandth time, they lay down on the bed in Eddie's old room. There were no more personal items there, but Steve hadn't even changed the sheets yet, which were messed up on the bed as if they were waiting for Eddie to come back from a trip to the bathroom. He was kind enough not to comment, even though it was obvious he had noticed.

Unlike all the times they had slept together before, this time they cuddled. Maybe it wasn't the best idea for Steve's poor heart, but he was too tired to even think about fighting. To fill the silence, Eddie told him about a book he had been reading lately.

Just as he was almost asleep, Steve felt Eddie murmur something near his ear and asked him to repeat it.

“I asked if you’re going to need a transplant. I read about it once.”

“Probably.”

“Okay.” Eddie tightened his arms around Steve. “I can be your donor, Stevie.” Steve shook with laughter and felt Eddie’s smile on the back of his neck. “What’s wrong? You don’t believe me, Sweetheart?”

“Robin promised the same thing.”

“Oh, then maybe we’ll have to fight for you.”

That night, Steve fell asleep feeling like everything might turn out okay after all.

The next part is the last one. After that, I'll post some thoughts on it, for more context.

Tag list | @estrellami-1 @drips-and-drabbles15

[rougepearl]

Osamu Dazai X Reader (Smut) || Shibari Play

(Oneshot) Originally from my ao3 account

____________________

You were already tied up. Not a single limb of your body was free from the red ropes that were holding and hugging your skin.

“You look so cute you know that right” Dazai was making a remark about how you currently looked right now

“Oh cmon…” You tried to move around but Dazai put his hand on your body to keep you from squirming around in the mattress

“Uh uh… remember? We had a bet, whoever lost would be the one suffering tonight.”

“I never even agreed to that”

“Hmm.” He put his finger up to his chin “Well youre already like this so why wouldnt we go any further?”

“Dazai!!”

“You know you want it, just look at that face of yours” He laughed at you for a bit. But he wasnt wrong either

Messy hair, teary face, hands and legs tied, Dazai just couldn’t resist himself.

He continued his steps forwards, slowly coming closer to your restricted body. He crawled on the bed towards you, faces inches away from eachother

“I want to hear every noise you noise alright darling?” He instantly placed his fingers in between your legs, rubbing the side of your thighs with his long skinny fingers.

You tried to move but you were restrained by the small yet thick enough ropes.

All you were able to do was really just arch your back or move your head.

You moved around trying to find a comfortable position to be in, but he stopped you in your tracks.

“Look at you, so needy.” Dazai remarked as his tongue began to lick your skin. Following from your neck going down your stomach to your pussy.

The wetness of his tongue felt unreal, your hot body needed more of him, but you just didnt want to admit it

“Ngh~ Daza-“ “No need to be so formal here, we are alone after all…Just say my name got it darling”

His arms hugged around your body as he flipped you over. Your face was laying on the pillow sideways, and your stomach was on the mattress Dazai had.

You could feel his body lean from behind your back, inching closer and closer to whisper something

“Just follow me and Ill make sure Ill get these nice ropes off of ya’. “

“Mhphm-“ Letting out a muffled moan as he grabbed your hips brining them up. You couldn’t see what was happening but you could hear everything happening behind you.

He was unzipping his pants, and on the side you could see him throwing his coat and tie off. Now you realize why he wore that black coat instead of the usual brown one.

Feeling him line up behind you, he thrust himself into you without any preparations

“Agh! Da- Osamu…”

“I love it when you say my name…” He said as he began to thrust himself into you.

His hands were on the sides of your hips keeping your back arched for him. Hands were restricted behind on your back too, so sometimes he would move his hands up and hold yours for a few seconds.

He slowed his pace down, entering himself slow then fully making sure you could feel every inch of his

“Mmph, Ah~ N- Please.” “Not now darling.”

“Ngh-“

Dazai was purposefully slowing down, trying to make you shiver and shake under him.

Since your upper body was laying down, you moved yourself back and forward. Trying to ride your high on him.

Dazai took notice and grabbed your hair forcing your head to look up at him.

He looked at you for a couple of seconds, smiling to himself, then opening his mouth.

“I see you need it so clearly, so Ill give it you. But only because youre in these..” His hands went to the main rope that determined whether they’d be tight or not, he pulled it and made the ropes hug your skin more.

Now being more restricted, he goes back behind you and puts in all his strength he has into you.

The pain is unbearably strong, but it’s not like you can do anything. Even if you were to try something, Dazai would only make your punishment way worse

You feel his full length slipping in and out of you in continuous motions. It hurts but you also feel the pleasure overwhelming.

“Cmon~ Mhmm…” He whimpers a bit as you tighten around him. He still goes fast, but eventually he becomes more sloppy in his work.

He stops for a bit keeping himself in you “Be a good girl and yell out my name… got it?”

You nod your head in response, and he goes back to going in and out of you. But he makes sure he slaps against you roughly, as he grabs your head with his hand whilst the other remains on your shoulder, only pushing yourself further onto him with every hard thrust he gives into you.

“Mhm- Dazai, Please. Ah~ Agh!~”

“Keep- G-going…”

“Please, I-I need to~ Agh Osamu~ Ngh-“

You feel his warmth leaking inside of you, and it causes you to release your high as well. He stands still behind you, keeping his dick inside your wet and messed up pussy.

His body gives out and he lays on the bed next to you, with the release of you, you plop onto the bed as well.

Your still catching your breath, looking down in embarrassment. You can see Dazai looking at your naked body still. “Cant you take these off now?” You yell at him

He brings his hand up to brush away the hair of your face, then keeping his hand on your left cheek.

“In a little bit, you just look sooo cute!!”

[coffeedrinkee]

How the Wind Breaker boys act when they've got a cold

ft. Sakura Haruka, Umemiya Hajime, and Kaji Ren

cw: none

notes: slapped down some HCs for three of my fave boys while half asleep and on lunch break so pardon any mistakes

Sakura

"i can take care of myself, like i always have, so get out!"

he's scared any sickness is perceived as weakness

and no one has ever cared for him ever, regardless of whether he was sick or injured, so you trying to take care of him in any capacity is so confusing

like, is this what normally happens when someone is sick? other people...help them??

softly complains when you do things for him, like making him food or making sure he always has water on hand, but he never seriously tries to stop you

he likes these new, warm feelings he gets when you're around, and it's when he's sick he realizes that he doesn't think he can live without you anymore

will probably do his best to return the favor when you get sick next - he's clumsy at taking care of others, but he wants to do his best for you

Umemiya

big baby, of course

just a huge sookie baby

wants to be babied by you so much

everything is terrible when you aren't around when he's not feeling well

which means everything is terrible for the people around him

he can't get comfortable, his food never tastes right, he aches all over, and he always feels too hot or too cold

but if you are there with him, he feels so much better, even if all you're doing is sitting with him on the couch, running your fingers through his hair, holding him

if he so much as makes a passing comment about his throat feeling a bit sore, you bet Hiragi is finding you ASAP because there's no WAY he is dealing with a sick Umemiya

Kaji

when you aren't around, he's even easier to piss off

HATES not feeling like himself, whether that be with the monster inside of him or when he's wiped out from an illness

basically like a guard dog in pain, lashing out at anyone that gets too close

everyone around him can FUCK OFF

but with you, he's totally docile

your hand feels so nice and cool on his feverish skin

you know what he needs without him having to say it

will probably make a fuss (groan, sigh) if you get him up for a bath or shoo him out of bed so you can change the sheets, but makes no move to actually stop you from doing it

secretly loves you doting on him when he's vulnerable like this (though probably not as secretly as he thinks considering he'll be clingier than usual)

[cupidsanne]

Mike Faist As Your Husband ✢ Headcanons

Mike Faist x Female Insert! Reader

SYNOPSIS! ✦ Headcanons and slight blurbs of Mike being your husband <3 I need more content of this man asap.

WARNINGS! ✦ No warnings, sfw!

Mike Faist Masterlist .

— He hasn’t changed much since you two gotten married.

— He’s very bashful, even with you. You two could be together for days, months, or years and he still gets shy with certain things you say. He can’t always take compliments but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like them. In fact, he loves to be praised by you. You’re his biggest cheerleader.

“Here you go.” You smile as you hand Mike his water bottle, he had no hesitated in politely accepting the bottle and offered a breathless ‘thank you’ in return. The two of you were currently at the gym, both of you having some free time and decided that it would be a healthy bonding experience for both of you. It took a while to set in motion this plan for the reason that the both of you were home bodies. Preferring to stay inside then to get up and out there.

“I think I’m finished on the bike for tonight. I reached my limit!” You explained in a tired tone as he set the hand held weights on the ground that he was holding previously to take a sip of his water.

“Cool. We can head out now if you want.” Mike suggested, not wanting to make you wait around for him.

You shook your head. “It’s no problem! I’ll wait in the lounge area and relax while you do your thing. Besides,” You made a sly expression. “You look so attractive working out!”

“Shut up!” Mike said immediately. He looked down at the weights beneath his feet as you laughed and walked away. A smile spread across his face.

— Not to mention, he’s your biggest cheerleader too! Sure, you two do friendly banter a lot, and he’ll tease you with nicknames but never will ill intentions or to put you down in anyway. He’s aware of your achievements and your talents. As much as he doesn’t always take compliments, he loves to give them.

— He’s a gentlemen, through and through. Opening the doors for you, giving you his coat/jacket if you’re ever cold, walking on the side closest to the road whenever you two are on a sidewalk, ect.

— Till this day, you always feel a bit fuzzy inside for all the little things he does, but to him these are just acts that are same old, same old to him. It’s his love language, and how he expresses his affection!

— Another way he expresses his affection, is through physical touch. Not in a crazy way like “I need to kiss you all day and basically be in your skin.” but he likes that subtle physical touch. Not saying that he doesn’t like to kiss you, because trust me he does.

— He likes just being side by side with you, just the warmth and the closeness is nice to him. It used to have him flustered being so close to a girl he really likes, but now that you two are married, it’s not a stress to him anymore.

— He thinks being side by side is great, it’s easier to talk to you that way, and let’s him get a look at you closely. Let’s him take notice of the gloss that is shining on your lips, or the way your eyelashes may be curled more than usual, things like that. If you two are in a booth at a restaurant, you bet he’s gonna slide in the booth right next to you, instead of across.

— Hand holding is a big thing for him too. He holds your hands no matter how he’s feeling. It brings him a sense of comfort. He isn’t a huge PDA person, but he likes the little sweet things like that.

It was a starry night as you and Mike sat side by side, in front of a backyard campfire while talking to a couple of friends. Autumn was rolling in and nights were becoming colder. Everyone had a warm drink or a beer in hand, reminiscing about anything and everything with each other. Just having a good time.

“Scooch closer.” Mike complained to you quietly, not wanting to interrupt the conversation that your friends were having. “You’re shivering like a chihuahua!”

“I can’t help it!” You muttered before coming in closer. The both of you were bundled up in some jackets, but after basking in the summer sun for months, the new coldness of this season is gonna take some getting used to. As you moved in closer to him, he moved a bit on the bench himself and stuck one of your hands into his warm pockets. You thought how sweet of this was of him, and how come men always get warmer and thicker clothing then ladies do??

You smiled up at him as you leaned your head on his shoulder. Sharing his warmth and listening in on your friend’s conversations.

— Everyone always talks about how you and Mike are both clowns. Always dropping jokes in any situation and matching each other’s energy. You and Mike aren’t at a function if you two aren’t laughing or making clever quips about something.

— You just can’t help yourselves. You guys don’t try to present yourselves as being inconsiderate, but that’s just how you guys are wired!

— Most the time it goes that Mike says something witty, and you laugh about it and have to finish it off. He than eggs it on and it’s just loose from there. Some people don’t know that you and Mike were friends before your relationship, and still are now. He says till this day you’re his best friend.

— It’s already enough that you two have inside jokes, like if something happens and you two give each other the look, then start busting out laughing. It’s a common occurrence. People either love it or hate it and that’s not y’all’s fault!

— Joking around and the occasional gossip is how you to spend quality time together. Which is another one of his love languages.

— The down side about this is, a lot of times you two will have to go through a long distance relationship. He’s an actor and they demand him to be in many places at once. You don’t like it, and neither does he, but you make it work.

— The two of you video chat all the time when he’s away. You talk about each other’s days and experiences, whether it’s meaningless or not.

— Whenever he’s away, you guys gossip and do skincare stuff over the phone. Mostly it’s you doing your skincare while he’s just watching you talk. He’s still involved in the conversation though!

— Although he loves when you come and visit him whenever he’s away, he loves it most when he’s home. Mike is very much a homebody, he likes staying in and not having to go out super often.

— In his earlier years, he was really career focused and hardly had any time to relax and take a moment in. Now that that he’s older, and still working, he’s not afraid to wind down sometimes and take a break.

— He definitely rubbed off on you, because you enjoy staying in now too. Cuddled up together watching TV, or cooking together in the kitchen while some jazz music plays, it’s the dream.

— Of course, you two don’t mind getting dolled up and fancy to go out somewhere exciting, but the best moments are at home where you’re comfortable.

— Just Him, You, and his dog Austin. (Sorry, You’re gonna have to be a dog person!) Just relaxing in a cozy townhouse, watching movies.

— Since Mike has quite a bit of following, and has made a career of himself. The press and his fans are aware that he’s married.

— We’re all aware how Mike isn’t a social media user, or doesn’t speak much about himself to the press because he likes to keep his life private. Yet, that doesn’t make you two a secret. He just doesn’t want all your business out there.

“Welcome Mike!” The interviewer greeted happily to to the actor over the screen. “Thank you for joining us today, how’ve you been?”

Mike was scheduled for a video interview, even though covid wasn’t as hectic now, he still likes to be safe and doesn’t wish to travel as much if he doesn’t have to. Plus, video chatting is becoming more normalized now. “Hi, thank you for having me and I’m doing great.”

“Good, are you finally back home with your family and all that?” The interviewer questioned.

“Yeah, I just arrived back from London, two weeks ago? Although I love working but I love to be home too. To see my family, friends, and get back to my wife and such.” Mike explained. He wouldn’t say he would get homesick, because of how passionate he is about what he does, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t home greatly.

The interviewer smiled a great deal. “Yes, I totally get that! I can see the photo of what I think— is you and your wife, in the back?”

Mike looked over his shoulder to see a photo frame on the console table behind him. It was decked out in small photos as well as some decorations that were relevant to the season, all by you of course. He reached behind him to bring the photo frame up close to his laptop screen.

“Yeah this is us right here. This is one of the photos from our wedding.” He pointed out. Showing off the photo closer a bit before setting it back down to where it was.

“That’s so cute! How long have you two been married? If you don’t mind me asking.” The interviewer inquired.

“About a year now. It feels like only a few months honestly. Time flies for sure.” Mike chuckled a bit. The interviewer chuckled alongside him.

“Especially when you’re in love! Time going fast is a great thing.” The interviewer added.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

— He doesn’t nor ever want to hide the fact that he’s taken. He’s proud of his relationship with you and if people don’t like that, then that’s their problem.

— If you have a wide social media following (In case you are celebrity!) than you don’t hide the fact you’re together either. If this is the case, fans actually adore you because you’re the one posting him, providing the fans some content.

— But, if you’re like him and not a celebrity, or even someone who likes to have your life on the down low, then that’s fine too. He doesn’t need for you to post him to feel some validation.

— Overall, he’s a great husband to have. He’d do anything for you and is grateful that he’s yours. He wouldn’t want to have you any other way. <3

[bulbabutt]

ok i wanna talk about tmnt 2007 and the way i think this is the best version of a leo and raph conflict, and also leo as a character

for context i've been talking about tmnt things kinda chronologically, so i'm gonna mention an unconditional understanding in 03 i bring that up in a previous post about that show and the family dynamics in it here if u want context for what i mean

i think this movie can really be appreciated for the place it has between adaptations, and the way character-wise everyone is more or less the same as they've always been but with a more interpersonal relationship as the focus. the main villain of this movie doesn't really matter, the conflict, the fights, that's not where the strength is (although, it is reflected in the conflict and ill get into that)

so tmnt 07 is one movie that kind of combines the 90s movies, 03, and mirage all in one place, and tonally is is similar to the show that will come after it, 12. if the 90s movies give us conflict between leo and raph, and 03 gives us the unconditional understanding between the two, 07 takes these two aspects and creates a story out of it. (debate in your own mind if this movie is a literal sequel to the 90s ones or not, its not that important)

the set up of this movie is we are in a post killing the shredder world. leo has been told by splinter to go get training elsewhere, there isn't much context for what happened to cause this, but i would bet its a similar cause to 03, where he had ptsd and lashed out at his father to which splinter sends him to his grandfather to get better advice than he thinks he can give him. the difference here is there is no grandfather hes sent to, he's sent on a journey of self discovery around the world to learn about it and himself.

the thing about leo as a character, and this goes for all leos, he's has a very black and white way of thinking. leo thinks he's been sent away because he's failing his family, that he's not a good enough leader. so he stays away for longer because he doesn't feel good enough. he finds a place where he can help and he does that. leo always needs a bad guy to fight, or else he's fighting his own demons. so he stays there for a long time. finding a place he can help quietly, never letting anyone see him, and becoming a legend to the locals because no one knows what's really going down.

april manages to track him down and tell him about whats going on with his brothers, how they're holding up without him and without being a team, and i think thats a good reminder for him that they miss him. he doesn't tell april but he finds a way home only after hearing about this. when he arrives and speaks to splinter, he says "i was so caught up in my own world i forgot about everyone else, i'm sorry i failed" he still doesn't feel like he's done anything of worth.

i'm gonna jump in here and say, you know how we all love rise raph? cuz hes the big brother and some traits that come from that are like being overprotective and taking on everyone else's problems and trying to handle emotions alone? well that's a trait thats usually leo's. but the difference with leo is sometimes that concept doesn't make you as likeable. sometimes it means you come off like a nagging mother hen who thinks they know best but in an arrogant way. sometimes it makes you mirror being a parent when no one asked you to be. leo's less of a passionate character than raph, hes more analytical and full of himself. he takes splinters lessons more seriously, and hes always trying to do whats best for everyone so they don't have to worry. this is something evident with 03 and 12, but its so specifically noticeable here because these traits make up the main conflict. i just want to bring that up so we start seeing leo as no different than some of our other favourite iterations.

splinter responds to his apology by saying "you owe me no apology, but perhaps you should talk to raphael, your absence has been particularly difficult for him, though he'll never admit it" but when leo greets him raph is brushing him off.

on raph's end, this is him being angry that leo left, and angry that hes back and everyone wants to pretend that he wasn't gone at all. as if the time he was gone didn't happen. hes lashing out because he too cant handle talking about these emotions. and hes lashing out by becoming a vigilante in his own right.

i see a lot of people misunderstand what raph is doing here, that "this is what the turtles always do" or "this is the same as what leo was doing how could he be mad" when that is not true. that's what casey does. its true that both leo and raph have been fighting bad guys on their own (as a way of dealing with their issues) but raphael has made himself a costume to disguise himself which means hes prepared to be seen. hes riding a motorcycle around, which is loud. this isn't stealthy, this is aggressive. his vigilante name is in the news. the turtles are ninjas, they silently help where they can and fade into the night and, very specifically, they work as a team. these turtles live in a dangerous world, what if something happened to him while no one else was around? they would never know because he never told anyone.

so raph is lashing out, and leo doesn't have a good way of dealing with it. he tries to slide back into being leader, doing what splinter says but he forgets how his brothers are, and with raph egging them on they get into fights they shouldn't. which leo specifically gets in trouble for, as the oldest brother, and as their leader. leo tries to be this better leader hes supposed to have learned to be, but it doesn't work and raph ends up back out there in his vigilante get up. leo tracks down said vigilante, and in his peak "leo knows best" moment, lectures him, not knowing its his brother. there's a scuffle, and the mask comes off. let me point out that casey knew this vigilante was raph but his own brother didn't, because leo has been gone that long.

so lets get into what this fight is really about. on the surface, its "wow you've been going out at night alone putting yourself in dangerous situations with no backup" and "so what you're just mad that i can do it without you" which leo would be right about. and this is the analytical leo, he really thinks that's all that's going on here. what hes missing is that raphael has missed him as a brother, and hes hurt that leonardo left and just came back no big deal. that he wants everything to be normal. raphael is always a character with big emotions and the only outlet he knows to express them is violence.

leo, who as we've established, went away to learn to be better for his family is angry that raph doesn't see that. he's mad raph doesn't appreciate the effort he went to, and he thinks he's just angry because he's not in charge. each brother sees the other as being arrogant.

this leads them to the big fight. no one can disagree that this is the best part of the movie (seriously watch the movie for this scene if you haven't seen it before) , but the real best part of it is that raphael wins. raph proves hes just as capable of a fighter as his brother, if not more-so. he uses those sais as they're supposed to be used, catching leo's swords and in a fit of rage he fucking breaks them, leaving leo defenceless and completely vulnerable to attack. you'd think he'd be smug that leo lost but he pauses, going through a lot of emotions in a moment, questioning what he's doing, why hes doing it. and leo finally looks his brother in the eye and sees raph going through something he didn't before, realizing raph hasn't been angry that he's back, but that he's angry that he ever left. they don't have a conversation, because raph cant handle all these emotions and he runs away, crying as he does. leo just watches him, taking it all in and realizing the error of his ways.

hearing leo scream turns raph around, but he's too late to help him, and this is where raph regrets his own actions because right then, leo is also proven right in his argument. because he gets kidnapped. if leo hadn't chased raph down, there is a very good chance that would have been raph being kidnapped. with no backup, with no one knowing what happened to him. that's why its important that the turtles are a team.

raph goes home full of guilt, and there's a good moment of showing how he cannot open up emotionally here, because he grunts, punches the wall, knocks over some weights and forces splinter to ask him what happened, because that's how raphael is. he laments to his father that he finally understands why leo is the better son, proving that to raph none of this was about their team, but about their family. conflating the two ideas in his head. splinter gives him a talk that mirrors what he said to leo when he returned earlier in the movie, encouraging him that he is a good son and brother. this shows that these brothers have very similar insecurities about their value to their family.

the rest of the movie plays out as you expect, they go save leo, they stop the bad guy, they reconcile and behave as the team they're supposed to be. but i just want to point out that the villains plot is mirrored in leo and raph's conflict. the 'villain' here is a brother who has been cursed to be immortal without his own siblings. for 3000 years he lived to regret his actions and decided to undo his curse, but he used the cursed stone versions of his siblings to do so. no communication, just thinking he knew better (which maybe he did) and lying about it. that caused them to lie to him right back, and try to overthrow him and destroy the world. this is just one family whose inner turmoil could have destroyed the world. you might say, oh that's not a very interesting turtles villain, but its not supposed to be. its not the focus.

this movie is all about the complicated relationship between a family, and i see so many people talk about it by trying to ask who's right and who's wrong. that's not how it works. life is more complicated than that, people are more complicated than that. its boring to look at this movie and just say "leo is wrong and raph is right" because that's not even how the characters see it. this movie is about leo and raph being mirrors of each other in their arrogance, in their insecurities, and in their stubborn pig-headed refusal to let the other know how they feel. splinter says as much at the start of the movie. this whole movie shows that without each other, they need to be fighting something so they don't get swept up by their own emotions, which they are both bad at processing. they are SUCH brothers. they are so similar emotionally, yet they have such a hard time understanding each other.

personally 07 leo is my favourite leo for his complexity, his flaws his strength, his growth. its sad we never got those sequel movies to get into the other brothers heads as much as we got into leo and raphs heads.

also nolan north and james arnold taylor gave the best vocal performances in this movie and they deserve all the credit for it.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Hi love ❤️ I was wondering if you could do Dabi, Shigaraki, chrono and Kai with a S/O who who just grabs them and shoves their face in to her chest when they monologue. Like the S/O is just tired of their endless ranting so she does that to shut them up

*cracks fingers* I would love to-

Listen, you and Dabi rarely fights, so usually a argument is more like the kind of "Oh I like cheese" while the other is staring at you in disgust with a "You are mentally ill."

Really. That's it.

Is actually pretty funny, but now? You were almost throwing a chair at the mktherfucker since he was mocking you about not winning a bet you both made over a movie.

"Another loss doll, what a shame." He muttered, resting his smug face on his hands as he leaned on the kitchen counter as you deadpanned at him.

"Yeah yeah you won, now leave me alone." You hissed.

"Nah. I just need to see your expression at losing again. I can't even remember the count now, do you? I think I won on our lil discussions about of... 100 times already?" He made a false thinking expression as you threw a towel at him...

He obviously dodged with a cackle.

"SHUT UP!"

"I'm just speaking the truth here." He spat with a snort.

You had enough and just went to where he was. Thankfully he was sitting down so it would be more easy.

"Oh. Someone wants a round 2?" He smirked devilish before his eyes went wide open when your hands just grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his face right into your tatas.

Well... that was unexpected but surely not unwelcome.

"You're done?" You grumbled with a smile on your face as you nuzzle on his tainted hair before you felt a pair of rough hands squeezing your waist and surely felt a warmth emitting from his face.

"Yeah. I'm shutting up now." The vibrations of his rough voice made you ticklish.

He wouldn't. If you do this every time he will never shut his mouth.

Probably was complaining about heroes or a game he didn't won or smth.

And you were just like "hey chill os not the end of world."

Okay, not LITERALLY because if you say that it will surely cause trouble between you two.

But you got it.

I will go with the second option since I kinda feel bad for him considering the recents events (both manga and anime)

"Tomu is okay."

"No its not." He growled, fingers already at work on scratching his neck "Didn't you see it? That guy obviously cheated. Probably is a momma or daddy boy and got those cheats on games paying billions for it."

"Huh?" You let out. Sometimes in the middle of his angry ramblings you couldn't understand or just the dots didn't connected.

But something you didn't want was for this man to mess up his skin more than it was. His neck was a victim of abuse from his nails already.

You got up in the kindle of his rambling and gently started to caress the oily hair he had before sucefully hushing him and bringing him to a hug with his face other between your chest.

The rambling immediately stopped as his hands started to tremble and for a moment you were afraid you did something to piss him off even more when he just straight up pushed himself away abruptly.

But the sign his face was now a deep shade of red that matched his ruby eyes immediately melted your worry away as you muffled your giggle with your hand.

"Sorry, that got you out of guard tomu?"

He glared up at you before standing up from his chair before just burning his face on your neck, not touching you with his hands still.

He can't even remember why he was so mad about.

Look how effective your love was!

ALL HE KNOWS IS COMPLAIN I SWEAR TO GOD-

Sorry, this man drives me crazy

Anyway-

Surely was bitching about heroes and diseases and how they shouldn't exist/need a cure after bumling with one of them on his walk.

And normally you would sit and listen with pleasure since you were basically the only one Chisaki was open with absolutely everything.

But today was not your day.

You were just staring at him pacing around the room while you were sat on the bed just wanting to go to sleep.

It was a bold and dangerous move considering that normally you warn Chisaki or he just sees so he can prepare himself.

But nope. You just got up and pulled him abruptly to a hug with his face right on your minimum covered chest.

"Please Kai just go to bed... " You sighed while trying to carres the back of his skull.

Only later realizing the fair uncomfortable position he might been.

Chisaki was a bit taller than you... and the angle he was now made him arch his back rather... awkwardly.

You were about to pull away until his gloved hands grabbed the back of your night shirt as he exhaled shakily on you.

Oh...

Guess you guys found a coping mechanism for when he gets nervous.

He doesn't complain. He is an angel.

But he does go a rambling sometimes.

We saw that before he got attacked by a majority he was on ramble about to just kill aizawa.

Okay, maybe not a angel-

I totally can see Kurono as one of those dorky guys that goes mumbling without a care about something he enjoys it a lot.

And got shut out many times when he was a kid due to this habit (many times was Chisaki that ass-)

So he just tends to try to control it

Keyword try.

Because he is so comfortable around you that he can't just out of no where stop.

You're just watching him with a dreamy sigh as he explained in each detail about his favorite gun until he noticed your lack of response.

"Ha.. sorry about that." He scratched his cheek lightly

You weren't having that.

This man was so FLUSTERED when you scorched over and pulled him to nuzzle on your chest on the bed.

Face was 50 shades of red.

"Don't apologize for that. You like those things and I love hearing you talk. Please keep going."

I swear this man had heart eyes when staring up at you from his chest before he resumed his explanations but far more at ease at the position

Might have popped a boner

[burntblueberrywaffles]

the desperate anidala bitches shall rejoice, because i come offering a second rec list 😌 /lh

My Anidala/Vaderdala rec list! (part 2)

You can find the first rec list here!

sorry I took so long this got buried way down in my drafts but it's finally out 🫡

some of these are not complete so do check chapter count and pls dont yell at me asdfhgkjfh

Modern AUs

The Bet

Anakin's had a crush on Padmé since fourth grade, and after putting up with his pining for seven years, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are finally stepping in and making a bet that he can't ask her to junior prom in the spring. Meanwhile, Padmé is realizing that Anakin isn't as annoying as she'd always thought. In fact, her feelings towards him are starting to go in quite the opposite direction...

Snow Place Like Home

For genre-typical convoluted reasons involving ill-timed blizzards, Padmé is forced to spend the holidays at Anakin's house. Anakin isn't as upset about his boss staying with him for Christmas as he probably should be.

Second Chances

When Luke Amidala and Leia Skywalker meet at summer camp, they're shocked to discover that they're long-lost twins. The logical next step? Getting their estranged parents back together.

I usually avoid Parent traps AU just because I dislike it as a setup, but when it comes to Anidala a bitch is desperate, and this was a cute and fun one, I really enjoyed it!

Lemon

“What other secret fantasies do I have that are glaring neon signs for you?” Anakin asks. “You’re conflicted,” Padmé says, “because on one hand you want to be a very good boy for me, but on the other you want to misbehave so I have a reason to punish you.” He blows out a plume of smoke and taps the ash off his cigarette. “You know, I really thought you were a nerd. I thought I'd have to be like, ‘Hey, how about you tie me up sometime.' Get you into this stuff little by little. But no, you’re diving right in like we met on a BDSM subreddit or something.” Or: Padmé has car problems. Thankfully she knows a good mechanic.

normally, I probably never would have checked out this fic, (mommy kink is just not my thing) but as previously stated, A BITCH WAS DESPERATE and you know what it actually slapped 😌

Rebound

Padmé Naberrie has just been broken up with. She wasn't prepared for a night out with her girls to find her a rebound. She certainly wasn't prepared for Anakin Skywalker.

Sith-Raised Anakin

the inevitable end of dancing with the devil

"Maybe it was too crass to compare the devil to such a creature—Lord Vader wasn’t the devil, he was worse." Senator Amidala was undoubtedly one of the most respected and adored public servants to walk the galaxy. Lord Vader was not. Vaderdala AU. Arranged Marriage AU

A Worthy Sacrifice

Chancellor Palpatine has dropped the act and decided to rule the galaxy openly as Darth Sidious. His reign wouldn’t be half as successful without his unhinged attack dog Darth Vader, a much rumoured warbringer who appears in black robes with a saber red as blood and brings even the strongest revolutionaries to their knees. Padmé is not only fighting for her home country but the freedom of the known regions and she is desperate to turn the tides of this war which is why she agrees to the deal Sidious offers her: A child with this favourite Sith Lord in exchange for her home: Naboo.

This is one of my favourite fics with this trope!

Pearl in My Head

Padmé's just starting her career as a Senator when she attracts some unwanted attention from the Emperor, who has decided on a very different role for her in the Empire. [empire already exists, arranged marriage/forced proximity au! loosely follows some aotc/rots events]

What Was I Made For?

Darth Vader was not a man made for love, but this was not love. Or, Basically, Padme and Vader are friends with benefits, but she's so nice to him that it makes him question his entire existence.

FOR YOUR LOVE (i’ll do whatever you want)

𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰? 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰? 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐢’𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 He gave her that devilish smirk of his. The one that had gotten her into this mess in the first place. “I’ll give you what you want.” OR, A rare moment of intimacy happens for Padmé and Anakin – whose relationship is strictly carnal.

I have yet to read the second chapter (will get on that when I get out of the snowbaird hole lol) but I really enjoyed the first one!

Vaderdala

love me, love me (like you used to do) 

In which Vader fails to capture his son, but gains a daughter, his wife, another pair of twins... and the past.

this fic was SO GOOD holy shit literally made me feral when i fiorst read it

Love Like Ghosts

There are very few people who know the location of the Rebel Alliance’s base on Naboo. Even fewer who know the names of any of the people who work there. So when Padmé gets up on a cold morning, the windows frosted and harsh wind rattling the doors of the large house that’s been the headquarters of the Alliance for nearly two decades, to see a package with her name on it sitting on the doorstep, her heart stops in her chest.

loved this fic but as a heads up it doesn't provide "they get back together" closure so be ready for that

news of old by @ineedausernamel829

Padme is a member of the rebel alliance. During a mission, her past relationships with darth Vader comes to light

No vaderdala interactions, but exploration of the relationship through Padme talking about it - It’s so so good

Sad Vaderdala hours

Imperial Socialite

In a timeline where Darth Vader doesn't face immolation and Padmé Amidala lives, their marriage continues in a form that is at once far more honest and deeply dysfunctional. Though Padmé tries to remain within the Imperial Senate, the trauma of her husband's betrayal--and the apparent deaths of her children--force her into early retirement. Too much of a liability to aid the emerging Rebel cause directly, Padmé seeks out new avenues of defying the Empire: by leveraging her connection to Vader to mess with the Imperial Elites of Coruscant.

it could be sweet

an interconnected collection of stories based on the idea of what would have happened if Padmé had lived. (aka me finally writing down my self-indulgent vaderdala daydreams aka me living my best life)

This series is so good in a "rip my heart out of my chest and steps on it" way

all joy sucked dry

Her husband had fallen, her life’s work had crumbled, and her own babies were strangers to her. But she didn’t even care, and that was the worst part. Or: Padme deals with postpartum depression, and Vader is ill-equipped to help her

Others

Across the Seas

Padmé Amidala - the daughter of the royal governor of Jamaica - never expected her life to be much more than it already was. Her routine is to dress in her finest clothes, put on a pretty face, and ensure she is presentable to not only the people but to the many men attempting to court her. However, Padmé's world is flipped around when pirates attack, and the young woman finds herself in the company of their fearsome, brash, (dashing) Captain. Initially sickened by the roughish man, Padmé will quickly learn there is so much more to the mysterious Captain Skywalker. A pirate's life for me

The pirate AU I didn’t know I needed. So good

Right & Wrong

After they watch a holoshow that portrays reprehensible content, Anakin unwittingly reveals the concerning way Chancellor Palpatine acts towards him. Padmé will not let anyone harm her husband — and she’ll make this Obi-Wan, the Jedi Council, and even the whole galaxy’s problem if she needs to.

when the grooming is actually adressed >>

cestrum nocturnum

Summer on Naboo, the Clone Wars have yet to begin, and Anakin is tasked with protecting Senator Amidala after an attempt is made on her life. It's too bad that every moment with her has him in agony, and every moment apart is even worse—especially after that night in the courtyard ... Or: Anakin spends a torturous time on Naboo in the company of the person he loves because he doesn't know how to tell her his true feelings.

Naboo smut 🤭

And that's it! if anyone has recommendations for a fic that isn't in either of my rec lists, please let me know! I am so so desperate I need my anidala fix

Since I was deep into the Star Wars hole and desperate, I’ve also been reading non-Anidala/non-Anidala centric fics about Darth Vader/Anakin/the Skywalker family, so I will be posting a rec list for that soon! (When i say soon it can mean anything from a day to months, my brain is not always great at tasks, if anyone wants to be notified when I do post it lmk and I’ll tag you ❤️)

[rifualk]

On Mental Health and Cosmic Embarrassment

I don't usually make a post in the aftermath of one of my spirals, so I bet most people see some of the vent posts I make, and assume I am just off my meds or something. I am on them but I might not be on the right ones. This is a thing that happens to me sometimes. I have psychotic episodes, where it feels like the things I am saying are completely inconsequential and I genuinely believe no one cares what I'm saying or, worst of all, that it cannot scare anyone that cares about me. I get too tired to fight my intrusive thoughts and I just ride them out. Most of my thoughts are not ones I enjoy having. I have trouble parsing what is real sometimes. For most of my life, out of a kind of primal shame and terror of being perceived or judged, I beat myself into believing that I just roleplayed as a crazy person online because I wanted attention for it, but it finally clicked for me at some point in my 20s that I was, and am, genuinely very mentally ill, maybe in ways that make me not-entirely-functional in the culture I inhabit. Also, I want attention for it.

Life is very embarrassing. I think embarrassment, shame, et al. is probably the most cosmic feeling of them all, because being embarrassed, for me anyway, leads invariably to my OCD extrapolating the embarrassment, no matter how slight, into its natural extreme, becoming a full-blown existential meltdown and often manifesting in some self-punishment. Or a lot of self-punishment. Instead of saying "everyone wants attention, it's not a big deal", my brain will overwhelm me with shame and make me vow to be quieter about the whole thing next time. Good emotions are meant to be expressed, I tell myself, and Bad ones are not. I think it's very unhealthy for people to not express their negative emotions openly. Or maybe I'm psychotic. I mean, I am psychotic. But maybe right now, too.

Ultimately this feeling peaks with the realization - again - that I'm a eukaryote. I live on a spinning ball of stardust in the aftermath of what had to have been a colossal disaster and waste of time. But it happened, and so now there's a bunch of stuff floating around, and some of that stuff started moving for reasons I don't personally understand and the implications of which scare me. And the moving stuff that moved faster got to stay moving longer. And so a chain reaction escalated, and eventually there were very large moving things whose survival adaptations had evolved in such a way that they could conceptualize and communicate complex information about the world around them, but they were also able to conceptualize themselves. This gave them a lot of grief. They wanted very badly for there to be an answer to why they were able to do that. Surely it served some purpose. But we never found one, and here we are.

I don't have a god to turn to. I have tried - earnestly, sincerely, and desperately - to reach out; I never hear back. I don't want to be an atheist, it's heartbreaking. Honestly. I want someone to be up there, or out there. Knowing there isn't, is just... cruel. It's horrifying and it wrenches my heart. Look at us, look how much we're suffering, where the fuck did you go, what the fuck is your problem? Help us!

In spite of everything, I am still not sure what I believe.

Don't you ever just cry about the world? Like, broadly? Don't you ever just have to take off your glasses and wipe the brine from them because you caught a glimpse of what people, as a species, could be capable of? And I get angry at myself, too. What am I doing about it? What even can I do? I can barely hold down a job. I am barely an adult. I am often mired in this feeling. It permeates everything. I'm living in a tragedy - not just my own, but millions and millions of others'. This is a nightmare. It's a nightmare and I'm an embarrassment, and my brain doesn't work right, and I'm living in a terrible reality that is shared by everyone, and yet somehow equally isolating and alienating to all of us. Does it have to be that way? Aren't we all lonely?

When I am spiraling I really do think that the end is near, either for me, or for everyone, or for both. To be fair, my confidence about humanity's future is not promising even when I am at my most sane. But in this kind of emotional place, the stakes are too high for me to care that what I say might come off as upsetting. It is completely overwhelming. I see my life up to this point, and I see how long I've been alive and realize I'm very Not Normal and I look and sound different than everyone around me and I'm an embarrassment. It's embarrassing to exist. It's embarrassing to be transgender, too. It's really, really embarrassing to be mentally ill and fully aware of it all the time. It's shameful. I am ashamed of how my family likely sees me. How my peers see me. I'm just a walking disaster. I feel like this bars me from leading a happy life or finding some success in art - It doesn't seem like you're allowed to be quite this much of a problem and "get away with it", does it? There's a bit of social sanitizing at work there - you are only allowed to be a certain level of messed up and if you pass that you're sort of a pariah. I don't think I've ever done anything pariah-worthy, but I can only see things from the inside of my own head, and there's a lot of unwanted noise in here.

I painted this when I lived in Oregon. I don't know how. I could not do art like this again if asked.

I'm not in a good place, generally-speaking. It could be worse - and it was for a long time- but it's still just not great. The main reason is that I am very homesick. I grew attached to the Pacific Northwest in a way I've never really grown attached to any other place. It had a quality that exists nowhere else. It resonated with me immediately and I knew right away from the moment I first set foot there that it was my home. I grew to be a part of it, and it's the only place I felt I somewhat-belonged... I have been away from Oregon for 2 whole years as of next month. I feel like I'm a fish out of water, or a sapling in the wrong soil. I can't and won't say that the place I live currently is a bad place, but it isn't my place, and the disconnect has been maybe the nastiest shock to my system in all my life. Finding the place I loved, and living for over 12 years there, only to be wrenched away from it so suddenly, left a shock on me that I think has yet to surface in my work. I'm excited to see what form it takes when it does. Location is very important to my mental wellbeing, more than I think it is for most people. Maybe I am a plant. It's also very important for my art. I've struggled to find inspiration since I moved here. That said, I've had the very precious opportunity to just work on myself - on my transition, as well as my personal issues. I think I'm getting better, gradually, in some way. I have a job now, at least. So it's not entirely bad. I even grew sunflowers last summer.

Around this time I got banned from twitter, but I don't feel any shame about the reason why because I believe in my message. But it forced me to be a lot less active online for a long time. It also made me lose a lot of support. That's been something I've grappled with a lot these last 2 years - that people really don't like people like me, for reasons that are mostly not our fault. I will likely always be something of an outsider for being who I am now, but I was one before anyway. It's still worth it. I like the person I'm becoming. I feel like only recently did I allow myself to feel this self-love. I was too embarrassed of myself. It took a lot of patience and a lot of de-tangling my self-worth from a lot of trauma. So it's likely I would have needed to go through all of this regardless of where I was.

I still slip up. It's an uphill climb and it's slippery. I like to be transparent about these things. It's a relief - feeling like I need to hide things is my default state and it's lovely to just let go of stuff so I don't need to keep it in my head all the time. I have a lot of hangups still. I get discouraged about my art still - I fear I'll never build myself back up to where I was before, and that there will never be a time when I can really pay the bills with it. Or worse-still, that it just isn't special enough to last. That it isn't remarkable enough to survive after I'm gone. But I think a lot of people who make stuff feel that way, and it's not our fault. There's some relief in that. I'm happy to have even a few people that care about me and my work, and something I've been trying really hard to remember in recent years is to take time to appreciate them. I'm not actually alone. I have a lot of people that love me. I'm not an outsider. I'm very lucky to know the people I do, and I hold a deep regret for all the connections I've let go of because I was just too sick. Deep down I really do wish I could love everyone. I have no ill will towards anyone, not really.

I still don't know what I'm doing. I am just doing my best, I think. I'm really, really tired. I don't want to get any older. I'm scared of the passage of time. My memory is so bad, it feels like time is taken from me without me realizing. I am 33 years old. I do not have 33 years worth of memories. There are huge leaps. Gaps where suddenly I was just older and in more pain. Being adrift in time like this is horrific - one day I will blink, and the present moment may be completely forgotten. It can't go this fast. It just can't. Something has to be wrong. I don't want to die, I don't want to miss out on so much life or be unable to remember it. I don't want to find myself on my deathbed someday way sooner than I think and be unable to string together any kind of coherent thread from my memories. What is it all for? It has to mean something right? Why am I doing anything?

I think I finally understand that love is why. I don't know much more than that. Love is real, and it's the answer. If you find love, don't take it for granted, ever. No love is perfect. Take it with all its flaws. You don't have time to bargain with it. Love like you'll never love again, love like it's your last day alive, love like it will keep you alive forever, because it will. Every year closer to death you get, you will feel the regret of all the times you did not follow your heart. Life is short. I'm finding this out entirely too late. It goes by so fast, and what you have at the end are people and memories of being loved. To be loved is to live forever. It's the thing that connects us to everything else. It's the source and the answer to everything. It makes more sense the older I get. It used to sound cheesy, but I believe it with more sincerity every day.

I'll be okay, okay

I once promised someone that I would stop self-harming. They are no longer in my life, but I kept the promise anyway. There are no new scars on my arms, or bruises on my head or face. I'm keeping this promise for myself, now.

[maybeimavillain-byleif]

I said I didn't want spoilers from the episode but of course I couldn't stay still and spoiled myself the scene with Jason👍🏻

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EPISODE⚠️

Okay so yes, I couldn't contain myself and looked at the scene😂 but I've only seen it from the moment we go to Goldreamz to sign the papers for Tasha until, of course, the end so now I want to say something about it. I liked the scene very much, Jason was really himself, it was as if he lowered his wall for a moment with us. Since the moment we were sitting on a chair in his office to the boat scene, he opened up to us and told us a bit about himself. Of course the main point was the one on the boat where he talked about his father. No need to say that it touched me on a personal level, me and him were LITERALLY on the same boat. I could understand him very well because I also don't have my dad anymore, the only difference is that he was luckier than me to have lived his father longer than me... And also the illness... Besides that, I loved the fact that his father loved the sea so much to the point to make it his job, his passion and wanted to do everything to save its inhabitants, it was very touching, I bet his father was a very good person. What saddened me was knowing how much Jason has felt lonely, I have a feeling he didn't have many friends if not no one and after his dad's passing I know how lonely one can feel. It touched me a lot even when he said his mom wanted his father to stop smoking and after his passing Jason went to steal his boat because it still smelled like his tobacco... He wanted to feel him again... And also, it was such a bummer to know his stepfather sold Jason's dad's boat, it felt like a stab in the heart... I also feel sad for him, not only our Candy but about that I also want to say this. She then apologized to Jason saying that if she knew she would have never asked him about his father and of course Jason told her to not be sorry and that it's not her fault. About this: don't feel too sad or sorry for asking, we have nothing against the people who ask us about it or when they say something not knowing about one's situation, it's really no one's fault so don't feel too bad about it. Anyway, yeah I really liked the fact that we could talk to Jason like normal people and not playing some kind of game between us, without teasing each other and all that. As I said before, Jason opened up to us, I really felt how sincere he was, he really doesn't seem the type to lie just for fun to give us a hard time or to mock us. He's more the reserved type of person, not a liar (not when talking to us at least). Ah also, our Candy at some point wondered how did he turn out like that and in that moment I thought "well, you know, things like that change you with time" and it made me think how Jason was actually, I know that she asks him directly, first asking how was he as a child but then instantly changing it to teenager. Who knows, maybe Jason was really different before but I guess we won't know much about it for now (maybe one day?). Yeah anyway I'm protracting it a bit so let's say the last thing. All in all, his scene was very nice and touching to the point that our Candy cried and Jason was sorry that he made her cry again. He was sincere, opening up to us and lowering his wall in front of us but then he went back to be his usual self by saying that for that night they have a truce but that from the next day everything would go back to normal. I also really liked the illustration and the way Jason looks at us🫠. That's it, I know I've written a lot and if you arrived at the end, thank you for reading all this, I really felt like sharing my thoughts on Jason, since the episode where we go to his office to work on our first project and while talking he said his father passed away when he was a teen, it was really like throwing a bomb that exploded and I felt that personally, then just yesterday (or the previous day) I searched on Google the meaning behind the type of tattoo that Jason has on his forearm just to discover that it means the person has lost a loved one to now having this intimate scene were he talks about it... It's a bit too much for me🥲 again, thank you for reading this🙏🏻

[panic-at-your-hetalian]

GOOD OMENS S2 THEORY

i mean, not really a theory, but an analysis aka statement lol.

Many people say that the combination of Crowley and Aziraphale was too powerful and that's what caused the heaven alarm, but i belive it has nothing to do with Azi, but it was all Crowleys work, CROWLEY IS A FALLEN ARCHANGEL, all that power came from him, i feel its obvious at this point, and my bets are that Crowley is no other than Lucifer.

Because yes, there´s is a Satan, but he's never refered to as Lucifer. But many signs indicate that Crowley could be him. From the first episode, Crowley as the serpent, the serpent is who tempted Eve, and the serpent personality is usually assigned to Lucifer, then there's also the fact that he is probably one of the first few demons to roam the land taking in account that he was fallen from the begining.

Second sign, the fact that he had the power to stop Armageddon for just a few minutes. I don´t think even Gabriel or Belzebub could've done that, and nor i belive it was just the power of love for Azi (it's probably both tho)

Third, The Metatron stated that sending Gabriel down would be a second failure, making it OBVIOUS that there was a fallen archangel before him. And the fact that Crowley was able to open the book to check the files of gabriel, like WHO ELSE COULD HAVE THE POWER TO CHECK THE FILES OF AN ARCHANGEL? ANOTHER ARCHANGEL

And Lastly, it would make sense he has such a beef with heaven, because in many stories is always shown that Lucifer's fall is due to his many questions to heaven, which at the very begining of the season 2 it's stated that crowley was very against the plans of heaven and just wanted to have his own opinion.

So yeah, my boy is an archangel and ill die in this hill ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ thank you for your attention and sorry for my bad english <3

(PD: my second guess is he could be Raphael, but idk it wouldn't have the same impact, and my man Neil loves some drama)

[emeritusemeritus]

Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight. Pt 12.

[Fred Weasley x reader x George Weasley]

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Title: Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley

Timeline: Predominately set between GOF and OOTP (some canon has been altered to fit the story)

Summary: Both twins like Gryffindor!reader. Reader likes both twins. How will she decide who to chose in the end? Amortentia might be able to help, or not.

Warnings: Smut, oral sex, p in v sex, established relationships, threesomes, friends to lovers, all the good stuff. NO Twincest. Mentions of illness, Brief mentions of vomiting. Tiny bit of angst, possessiveness, talk of kids. Mentions of dominant behaviour. Snape has a soft spot for reader. Love potions? But none are actually used. Threesomes but again NO Twincest. Cormac Mclaggen, because he needs his own warning. Not beta-read nor spell checked, we die like Sirius ❤️

The final chapter 🤍

Monday morning came too quickly, you thought, as you gathered your usual potions books and went down to breakfast with your friends, meeting Hermione down in the common room so you could go together. Last night was the first night you'd spent alone all week and you struggled to sleep without the two familiar bodies beside you, tossing and turning for most of the night struggling to get comfy.

They weren't at breakfast that morning and Ron, digging into his third course of breakfast had let you know that they were doing an early morning quidditch practice with the whole team to make up for the lost week, hence half of your group being missing at breakfast.

You made your way to the potions classroom alone having missed Katie in the hall, stopping briefly as you stepped off of the stairs hearing your name called out. It was Cormac Mclaggen, sprinting down the stairs to catch up with you. You inwardly groaned, not prepared for his ego this early in the morning. Truth was he was always pleasant to you but you found his company boring and stifling, the conversation never quite drifting away from him.

"Y/n! You walk fast," he says as he descends down the stairs in a hurry, trying to catch up with you.

"How was your week? I was hunting Nogtails in Norfolk with my uncle Tiberius and Rufus Scrimgeour, you know the head of the Auror Office? Myself and Bertie, Higgs, our family friend, caught two on our first day alone," he says smugly, completely overriding his question as he walked in step with you towards Snape's classroom. You bummed out a vague reply, trying to subtly walk quicker to decrease the amount of time you'd need to spend with him, cursing the distance between the staircase and the classroom.

"It's so odd to see you away from those Weasley boys, you're quite a package deal aren't you, I didn't see them at breakfast either," he muses.

"They had quidditch practice this morning, Angelina's trying to make up for the lack of practice sessions last week," you mumbled unenthusiastically, trying to be polite but not enthused.

"Such a shame I wasn't able to try out again this year, Davis bet me to eat a pound of poisonous doxy eggs and I spent the week in the infirmary, though I'm sure you're aware. It was the talk of the school that week," he says with a tone of pride, making you want to gag.

You hardly turned to him but felt him look towards you as you neared the classroom. He suddenly reached out to touch your shoulder and stopped you just before you crossed the threshold to the potions corridor.

"So I was wondering," he says, pushing back his curly hair in a move that you were sure he'd practiced countless times in front of the mirror, "we've never talked that much and it's quite honestly a shame, I'd like to get to know you a little better," he smiles, perfectly straight and shiny white teeth glinting at you as he leans against the wall in front of you, blocking the classroom with his arm. "How would you like to accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend? We could get to know each other better over a butterbeer or two, my treat of course."

You could have thrown up in your mouth at the very thought, even without the smug and smarmy look on his face as he asked. You didn't even remotely know how to respond to his offer, wanting to shoot him down immediately but still remain civil enough.

Luckily for you, that decision was taken out of your hands as Professor Snape burst out of his office at precisely the right time.

"I suggest you don't linger in doorways Mclaggen, your prospects in this class might be acutely inadequate but to prevent a prosperous student from acquiring her education might be the most shallow and egregious thing you've done thus far," he grumbles as he barges past, his gaze fixed upon Mclaggen's arm as it blocks your entry to his classroom. Snape gestures briefly for you to walk ahead of him as soon as Cormac drops his arm and he follows behind you as you enter the classroom, leaving Cormac standing out in the corridor with his mouth agape.

Snape stalks over to the front of the classroom, swishing his wand to close the shutters on the windows, leaving only the large window at the front of the class to light the room.

"Today's class will be a continuation of our last session, I pray one week away has not melted your tiny brains and that some information was retained," he says as he scribbles on the chalkboard, writing 'Amortentia' in his beautiful, decorative script.

"Last week miss y/l/n brewed a perfect draft of Amortentia and I would like for you all to try and replicate this impressive feat," he says, gesturing towards a small vial of potion in his hand, a sample of your potion from last week. "You may work in partners, I dare say the probability of success should be increased but I have yet to see such things."

Chatter begins to spread throughout the classroom as people link up and you're name is called out more than a few times as people hope to partner up with you.

"Miss y/l/n shall be working alone, her accomplishments will not be diminished by an idle participant. The recipe and method are listed in your textbooks, page 634, the ingredients have been placed by your benches, I expect a better turn out than last week."

He moves to stand beside your bench and you look up at him expectedly, not yet starting your preparations for brewing the love potion.

"Would you stop by my office after class?"

"Yes sir," you reply politely, confused by his request but not dwelling on it as you gather ingredients. He nods and walks away with a flourish of his cape, already calling out students for not using the proper method.

Your nerves consumed you, not of brewing the potion again but of the result. Having spent the week with the Weasley's, you were more conflicted than ever about who you truly loved, finding no resolution to your conflict. The night you'd all spent together had only further added to your confusion, finding that it felt right and without conflict and there had been no awkwardness or regret from any of you the next morning.

You set to brewing the potion, the same way you had the previous week though this time you paid meticulous attention to the heat, ensuring that it didn't boil over again, even for a moment. You still weren't convinced that you'd brewed it correctly, despite Snape's claims, knowing that the changing smells must have been a fault.

You caught sight of Cormac in the corner who was already looking at you, wiggling his eyebrows as he looked at you brewing love potion. You thought for a brief second you'd need a second cauldron to vomit into but you didn't humour him and just turned your attention back to your potion.

Once you'd added all of your ingredients, you turned off the flame below and allowed it to sit on the residual heat just as you had before, this time watching as each bubble popped to the surface, keeping a fixed eye upon the steady effervescence.

The moonstone powder circulated in the elixir and began to shine in a pearlescent swirl, signs that it was already coming together. When the steam above the cauldron began to twist and change, forming long spirals, you knew you'd done it once again.

Snape was on hand immediately, apparently carefully overseeing your creation and stepped forward to once again place a lilyfig leaf into the mixture. He let out a small, clipped smile as the leaf disintegrated before your eyes, eroding in the liquid until it had disappeared entirely. Snape looked up towards you with a look you couldn't place, holding your gaze for just a moment before announcing to the glass that you had once again drafted a quíntese example of what Amortentia should be.

"20 points to Gryffindor," he says, looking up at you as you break out into a thankful but bashful smile. The Gryffindor's in the room all cheer excitedly at your collection of house points, shouting out your name and hollering until Snape puts an end to the ruckus. He then nods once towards you and moves away, tending to other cauldrons that seem to be on the verge of boiling over or worse.

It was now or never. You looked at the potion before you, entranced by the spiralling steam and stepped closer, ready to discover for the second time who you would smell. You tried to clear your mind, not to think of either twin as to not cloud your judgment and stepped forward, preparing to smell either Dandelion and Burdock or Pumpkin Spice.

When neither came, you frowned, looking down at the potion that seemed to be correct but wasn't emitting anything you recognised, until it hit you.

The smell of the ground after it had rained.

It had always been one of your favourite smells in the world, only right now there was a very specific memory attached to that scent, the particular smell of dried grass mixing in with it that made you certain where the scent originated.

The morning after your threesome with the twins.

You began to stir, slowly rising out of your dreams as wakefulness overcomes you, quickly realising that you were lay in bed between both twins who were still sleeping soundly either side of you. You stretched out your legs and winced a little at the soreness between your legs but couldn't help but bloom into a smile at the thought of the previous night, of being loved by both of them, together. The ache between your legs served as a reminder or a souvenir you could say of the wonderful night.

Not wanting to disturb them, you lay in bed and looked out of the window, seeing the warm hues of dawn outside, the rain no longer falling as the sun bloomed over the hilltops.

"G'morning princess," Fred says sleepily from behind you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he pulls you closer to him and cuddles you.

"Morning handsome," you whisper as you smile, not wanting to wake George just yet as you snuggle into him, feeling him press gentle kisses to any area exposed to him.

"It's stopped raining," you say absently as you feel him stretch out his long legs behind you. He hums in reply, too focused on you. You see George begin to stir in front of you and even in his sleep he reaches out for you, arm extending to drop around your waist. You reach over, shifting in Fred's hold but not pulling away, to press a little kiss to the tip of George's nose, seeing him do a little scrunch off his nose and then a little blissful smile as he begins to wake.

His eyes flutter open and he smiles sleepily as he sees you, his hand reaching to stroke your waist as he wakes up.

"Morning angel," he says quietly, his voice still deep and rusty from sleep, making your heart skip.

"Morning Georgie," you smile, reaching out for him too, placing your hand on his chest.

You all lay cuddling for a little while, just enjoying the slowness and stillness of the peaceful morning before George gets up to open the window, feeling a little warm from the body heat.

"It's stopped raining," he points out, climbing back into the comfy bed and making you smile at the similar comment you made earlier. Immediately the smell of the ground after the rain drifts in through the window and takes over your senses completely, wrapping you in an extra layer of comfort and peace as you lie there between your loves.

The scent suddenly changes and pulls you out of your little daydream, the strong scent wrapping around you like a warm blanket as you smell familiar whizzbang smoke, so identifiable in its undertones that you can't help but smile. The musky, burnt smell is instantly recognisable as it mixes with a lingering sweetness that cannot be confused with anything else.

The scent then changes abruptly to something you couldn't place. It was unlike anything you'd ever smelt, an array of scents mixed together so perfectly that the individual notes were indecipherable. Almost like a smoky incense with sweet notes and something clean, a warmth to the scent that seemed to ignite something in you that you couldn't explain. You frowned, not knowing what it was but it was undeniable that it made you think of both Fred and George, like a perfect blend of the two.

It was both. You loved them both.

Tears brimmed at your eyes as you stood looking down into the shining liquid but this time they were tears of pure happiness and elation. You no longer felt any guilt or shame at your feelings, knowing that it was unequivocally equal.

But then the weight of guilt and pain overwhelmed you again, knowing that now you would never be able to choose between them.

Class finished rather uneventfully and you couldn't help but thank Professor Snape for asking you to stick around and visit his office afterwards, having seen Cormac waiting for you in the corridor.

"Run along McLaggen," Snape says as he ushers you out the classroom towards his office, hardly casting a glance to Cormac as he glided past him. You followed diligently as you rounded the corridor towards the heavy wooden door at the end; the potion master's office. You'd only been in Snape's office once before, on account of Fred and George's antics. You were all reprimanded and given detention, though you were only guilt by association that time.

You stepped into the dark, cellar-like room and gazed around at the dark wooden shelves littered with multiple glass jars that spanned the entirety on the room, the circular desk in the center being the focal point of the entire room. Snape moves to stand behind the desk, offering you a seat in one of the plush leather chairs as he shifts a pile of exercise books and essay parchments that you assumed he had been marking.

"Professor Mcgonagall has told me that you have a meeting with her tomorrow in regards to your career prospectives," he says, taking a seat at his chair.

"Yes sir," you confirm, nodding slightly as he pulls out a pile of papers.

"And you are intending to carry on with Potions at NEWT level?"

"Yes sir," you nod again, a little confused by Snape's questions. "I got outstanding in my OWLs, I understood that was the criteria?"

"Yes," he says absently, "and do you wish to carry out a career in brewing?"

"I'm not sure sir, I enjoy it and I seem to be proficient enough," you say, trying not to sound clueless, not quite wanting to admit that you didn't have a plan for your future.

"Well quite," he interjects, attentively listening to your answer. A smile flashes briefly on your face at his conversational addition before you continue speaking.

"I just don't quite know what I want," you answer honestly, the irony of your words not lost on you as you consider that you were just as indecisive in all elements of your life.

He hums out a vague reply as he considers your words before leaning forward on the desk, hands crossed as he speaks directly to you.

"Have you not considered applying for prefect status?" His words surprise you and you can do nothing but shake your head, not wanting to voice your honest truth that it would conflict too much with your personal life, knowing that you'd have to either turn a blind eye to your boyfriend's antics or repeatedly get them in trouble.

"The reason I ask, is that a position will be available at the start of next term as potion master's assistant," he explains, "it would entail preparing ingredients, organising the stores, including my own, ordering, inventory and various necessary admin. I'd like to firstly offer the position to you." Your eyebrows shoot you into your head at his words, astounded by his offer. "You've proven time and time again how proficient you are and I dare say you would be the only student in the school worthy of the title."

You open your mouth to reply but nothing comes out, still in a state of shock at his offer, trying once again not to blush at his praise.

"I'll require an answer by the end of the week, after that the role will be offered to other students," he adds, "please consider my offer, it will serve you well in the future, even if your chosen path is not amongst this craft."

"Thank you professor," you say, finally managing to get the words out. "It's an honour to be chosen, I'll consider it," you smile, feeling a little overwhelmed. He nods with soft eyes, pleased by your reply. A moment passes as you wait to be dismissed and he gestures to the door, allowing you to leave. You gather your books and smile up at him about to exit when you turn back, "Professor, thank you for the book recommendation the other day, it's certainly much better than Jigger's Opuscule," you laughed, walking out of the office before closing the door and walking up the stairs to the great hall.

You were mightily thankful that Cormac had taken Snape's advice and had disappeared by the time you exited the dungeons. You made your way to the great hall ready for lunch after your double lesson and meeting with Snape.

You were a little nervous at seeing the twins since your discovery in potions and the role offer that followed, realising on your walk that you had so much to discuss with them.

Everyone was already gathered around the dining table at you walked into the hall, already tucking in to their lunches, Ron with particular vigour as usual. George looked up first, seeing you approach and gave you a sweet smile as he shifted down on the bench, making more room between himself and Fred. As George shifted, Fred looked up and smiled at you, also making room between the pair, though in a much blunter sense as he ordered Neville to scoot up, shoving his plate away for him.

You greeted everyone as you took your place and immediately felt two hands on each of your thighs, one from each twin underneath the table. George's stayed a little more PG over your skirts whereas Fred hand slipped under the fabric, caressing your bare leg just about your knee.

"Here she is," Cormac said, standing behind Ginny who was seated across from you. You immediately tensed upon hearing his voice, knowing that whatever slipped from his mouth would antagonise the twins.

"McLaggen," you greeted unenthusiastically, almost sighing at you reached for a piece of chicken, your gaze hardly meeting his, praying he'd go away.

"You never gave me an answer you know," he says flirting with a wiggle of his eyebrows and you immediately feel both twins beside you tense, Fred's hand inadvertently gripping your thighs just a little tighter. George straightened in his seat, as if making himself taller and more alert, no doubt fixing Mclaggen with a harsh stare. "Those house points you received have only upped my offer. Snape may have let you escape this time but I'll be waiting." He winks and walks away and you have to hold back a shudder at the thought. How long had he stood practising that line?

"Um what was that about?" Ron said, briefly pausing his feasting to look at you with a confused face.

"She got 20 points again in class!" Katie said excitedly from the other side of Neville, and the response was mixed amongst your group. Ginny, Harry, Neville and Hermione all celebrated your little win, telling you well done as they smiled at the little victory. Ron looked confused as ever, still frowning as George and Fred beside you looked tense and quite frankly, pissed off.

"Not that," Fred spat out, turning to look at you harshly.

You sighed, feeling your good mood slipping further and further away.

"Cormac asked me out," you said with a shrug, focusing your attention on picking at your chicken leg so you didn't have to look at anyone, "Snape burst in before I could tell him no."

"Why would you tell him no?" Hermione asks outraged and you can't help but shoot your gaze up to her at her sudden outburst, seeing her turn bright red as she realises she'd said that out loud. "Well he's not exactly bad looking, as Trolls and things go and his father's rather high up in the ministry," she mumbles, trying to dig herself out of a hole.

You snort at her words and place down the chicken you'd still yet to eat, "well if that's the new requirements for a boyfriend then Malfoy better watch out," you joke, trying to break the tension. "Personally I'd like more than not a troll and a rich daddy."

"Oh yeah, like what?" George says, seemingly less pissed off than his identical brother who still seemed tense and frustrated. You shoot him a little look as if to say what the hell and he merely smirks down at you, knowing exactly what he's doing.

"Aww Georgie, sad I didn't describe you?" You tease, trying to act as just friends in front of everyone. "You want me to say tall, ginger and funny so you can sleep tonight?"

Everyone around the table laughs, unaware of the deeper meaning to your words.

"Shove off," he replies without any conviction, playing his role perfectly as he shoots you a subtle wink. Fred seems to have defrosted slightly but still seems a little more uptight than usual and so you knew you had to pull out the big guns. "You wish," he adds with a knowing smirk.

"I was actually talking about Fred," you joke, nudging the other brother who suddenly smiled a little dopey smile and you felt his hand un-tense around your leg as he stroked his thumb over your skin softly.

"I am better looking than you," he smirks as his brother who simply rolls his eyes and you're glad to see that the tension had finally slipped away.

"So how come you were so late?" Ginny asks, putting down her knife and fork before reaching for her goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Oh," you said, "Snape called me into his office."

The twins immediately 'oooh' as everyone looks at you surprised, thinking the worst.

"What did you do? Blow up a cauldron?" Fred jokes.

"Relabel the Lacewing flies?" George adds.

"Talk in class?" Fred.

"Late?" George.

"Skirt too short?" Fred smirks.

"No," you huff before turning your head straight to Fred, realising his words, "what's wrong with my skirt?" You ask.

"Literally nothing," he flirts and you roll your eyes, elbowing his arm as George chuckles.

"He asked me to be potion master's assistant next term," you explain, finally taking a bite out of your lunch. Everyone goes silent, looking surprised at you.

"That's unheard of!" Hermione says, a little too loudly. "No sixth year has ever been an assistant! It's like a first year getting head girl!"

You don't know what to say and simply shrug, turning back to your lunch.

"Well done princess," you hear Fred say as he leans into you subtly, making you blush. George's hand creeps up your back to stroke at your hip and you turn to look at him to see a sweet smile that conveys his own congratulations.

"You must take it!" Hermione says, pressing the matter. "You'd surely be the youngest Head's assistant in history!"

"I'm thinking about it," you reply with a nod, trying to tune out the rest of the conversation, hoping it shifts to something else. Eventually it does and you take the opportunity to lean over to Fred, whispering in his ear.

"Are you free later?" You ask and he looks up at you with a nod, eyes washing over your face, towards your lips before flicking back up to meet your gaze, trying to figure out your intentions.

"Black lake after hours?" You ask, raising your eyebrow teasingly at him and you can see the initial surprise in his eyes before he nods, a little too enthusiastically which makes you smile. He subtly nods to his twin who is deep in conversation with Angelina about something quidditch you didn't understand and you shake your head at his nonverbal question, trying to convey that you wanted him alone. His smile widens just slightly as his hand squeezes your thigh again before you both turn back to the larger group, hoping nobody saw your little exchange.

You'd managed to borrow the Marauders map from Harry for your little jaunt, knowing that it would be tricky to sneak all the way out without a lookout and you didn't trust yourself to be alert enough around Fred. You met Fred in the common room and began to sneak around the corridors, avoiding Filch and prefects until you were stood in front of the statue of Gregory the Smarmy, shifting around it with great precision until you slipped into the little passageway beneath that lead out onto the grounds surrounding the school, close to the lake.

"So princess," Fred says as you walk out towards the lake, taking your hand in his, "Is there a reason for this or did you just miss me?"

"Both," you admitted, pulling him closer to you by your entwined hands, feeling elated at getting to spend time with him as your boyfriend, away from everyone else.

You made your way to the bank and sat down on the rocks, looking out at the calm, moonlit water. Your nerves were starting to get the better of you as you looked at Fred, seeing the moonlight framing his face beautifully, illuminating his sparkling eyes and highlighting his strong features.

"I wanted to talk, about everything, away from George," you said, breaking the silence. Fred turns to you with hesitation in his eyes, feeling the foreboding sense of pain. "I'm going to just speak openly about what I need you to know and I just want you to listen okay, otherwise I'll never get through this and please no teasing, it's hard enough to admit without that." He nods silently, showing that he's listening.

You stand, pacing a little already as you fight to get the words out with Fred still seated watching your every move.

"It's always been you. You have been my best friend since practically my first day here. It was you that always gave me butterflies and your name I used to scribble in my little notebooks, you I'd focus on during Quidditch games and cheer the loudest for. I can't remember a time that I didn't fancy you, even as a first year before I really knew what it meant to like someone, I always felt some extra kind of pull towards you. Then you started growing your hair out and I thought I was going to die from being so attracted to you, like every time you looked at me I thought I might faint. And then the flirting started and the little touches and then that night at the pond at your house happened, when you and George told me how you felt and since then I've been a mess. I never intended to fall for George, it just happened so naturally and so quickly that I feel like I'm still dizzy from it," you pause, taking a long breath as you suddenly stop pacing.

A sudden rush makes you jump as Fred moves to stand directly in front of you.

"You said 'fall for George', you love him?" He asks, towering over you. You nod, trying to be brave under his imploring eyes.

"Do you love me?" He asks, his vulnerability showing as his slightly sad eyes look into yours. You nod again and are suddenly swept into a kiss that steals the breath from your lungs, his hand cradling your chin as he pulls you deeper and deeper in. When you pull apart, Fred rests his lips on your forehead, the height different allowing him to tuck you into his body, chin resting on your head as he holds you.

"I love you," you say, pulling away slightly so that you can look up at him, seeing an infectious smile blooming across his face.

"Princess, I've loved you for a very long time," he says, still smiling as he leans down to give you another passionate kiss.

"But, George," he says after a moment, pulling away to look at you with a mixture of emotions you can't identify. A figure in the near distance makes you smile as you spot them walking towards you with perfect timing.

"Evening," George says as he approaches you both, handing you the marauders map that you'd agreed to 'drop' in the hidden passageway beneath Gregory the Smarmy, allowing George to join you. Fred looks at you both and chuckles, thankfully seeing the funny side of your little plan.

"You knew?" He asks his twin, playfully shoving him as George nods with a little chuckle.

"She caught me earlier, snook away from Charms during our free period," George explains before he reaches out and kisses your head, taking a seat on the rocks, joined by his twin a moment later as they look up at you.

"Same rules, please just let me get this all out first," you say, continuing your little speech. "You both know as much as the other right now and if I stop I won't be able to start again." They nod, muttering some kind of verbal acknowledgment as George waves his hand, urging you to continue.

You take a deep breath and start again, trying to calm your nerves and pluck up some form of confidence.

"Something happened before the break, in Potions," you explained, finally telling them the whole story. "You asked me what I smelled that day brewing the Amortentia and I never told you because I thought I'd made a faulty batch." You sighed, turning to look at them, seeing the confused looks on their faces, a tense sadness lingering as they waited to hear what you were going to say, who you were going to chose.

"I smelt dandelion and burdock, then toasted marshmallows and then whizzbang smoke," you admitted, adding quickly as you looked towards George, "but then Snape came over and distracted me, my potion started bubbling so I ran over and turned it off the heat but when I went back to it, it didn't smell the same. It was pumpkin spice, your jumper and whizzbang smoke."

You looked away from them again, trying to force out the last part of your little speech.

"I know you both want me to choose and believe me I've tried, I've desperately tried, but I can't, I can't choose when I love you both. This morning in potions, we brewed Armortentia again and this time it was different, it wasn't either of you it was both, mixed together. The smell after the rain, whizzbang smoke and... something else I can't place like a complete mixture of you two? It's hard to explain, it's warm and sweet but clean and faintly smoky, I don't know what it is but it's definitely you."

You started pacing again. "You're going to leave after this year and I still have my last year to do, Snape wants me to be his assistant, you're going to go off and starting the shop and I'm going to be left behind and I'm worried about that. I can't chose between you and I'm going to lose you both just because I stupidly fell in love with both of you, you can't wait forever and you'll find someone else and I can't be without either of you."

They both stand in unison, moving towards you, causing you to stop rambling.

"We'll not be at school, but we'll always wait for you," Fred says reaching out for you.

"We want a future with you, regardless of what or who you decide or even if you don't, we'll be here," George adds, taking your hand. Tears form in your eyes as you finally disclose everything you've been feeling.

"Y/n," Fred says, pulling your attention back to him, his tone serious as he uses your full name, "I've liked you ever since you sat down at the table after you were sorted into Gryffindor and I've loved you almost as long as that, every single day I love you more," he says, looking directly at you, "truthfully, I'd have been broken if you chose George but I'd have respected your decision and let you both be happy."

"And for me, exactly the same. I've loved you just as long but I accepted that it was Fred you liked, always secretly hoping you'd look at me the way you did him. But then you did and every day since I've felt like the luckiest wizard alive," George says, wiping at your eyes as a tear falls down your cheek. "This whole thing started because we both wanted to be with you and we wanted to both have a chance at loving you, that hasn't changed," he adds. Fred nods along with his brother's words.

"We knew how hard it would be for you to choose but we didn't anticipate how hard it would be for either of us to let go," Fred says, linking his hand with yours so that they were both holding one of your hands. "And then our feelings got deeper and we sensed that yours did too." You nodded along with him, agreeing with his words.

"Angel," George says, pulling your attention to him, "I don't know how it's going to work, but we'll make it work because it's us," he says, "we create our own future, remember? That night on the balcony, you told me how proud you were of us, defying conventions and other's opinions, of knowing what we want?" You nodded along again, remembering the conversation clearly. "We want you. So we defy expectations and ignore opinions. I told you I'd keep you forever if I could and that's exactly what I plan on doing."

"Me too, I might add," Fred says with a cheeky smile.

"I love you both, so much," you say, looking between them.

"I love you," George says, moving to kiss you, pulling you in to his chest. You then turn to Fred who smirks as he walks over.

"I love you too," he says, grinning as he leans down to kiss you deeply. "More, I might add," he whispers as you pull away, earning a swift kick to the shin by his twin.

After that night, you made it official with the twins, no longer having to hide your relationship from your friends and peers. You'd expected people to be more shocked and less amenable than they were but as soon as the initial gossip had circulated, you found that almost everyone was accepting of your unconventional relationship. Molly and Arthur had been surprised to say the least but they had quickly come around to the idea and had been as warm and welcoming as ever, especially excited at the prospect of you being their future daughter in law, which was brought up often.

Time passed quickly during the twins' last year as you spent your time preparing for your NEWTS, spending time with your friends and boyfriends, cheering at quidditch games and being Potion Master's assistant, the role you'd accepted only a day after Snape's offer.

You still didn't have a set plan for your future, all you knew was that Fred and George would be a prominent and continuous fixture within it, the two men you loved.

{Flash forward}

It was early in the morning on a sunny April Saturday when you walked down Diagon Alley, three takeaway teas in hand from the cafe around the corner as you strolled towards the brightest shop in the street, both in colour and innovation.

93 Diagon Alley was a beacon of light in the otherwise dull street, the other stores not holding a candle to it's vibrancy. You'd been given a special leave for the weekend, signed off by both your father and your 'boss' the potion master, under the guise that you would be collecting orders for the school's potion stores. In honesty, you were here for the grand opening of your boyfriends' shop, finally getting to see it in person for the first time after months of planning and designing with them.

You beamed with a smile as you spotted the humongous figurehead of your boyfriends' likeness in the front window, enchanted to repeatedly remove  and then restore the top hat, revealing a rabbit underneath the hat. Above the shop was the flat where your boyfriends had moved in to after leaving the burrow, the same flat you planned to move into with them once school was over.

Your smile only increased when you spotted two very familiar faces waiting by the front door to the shop, already dressed for the day in their three piece suits which were not identical in colour but were matching in every other sense. You walked quickly over the cobbles as you felt the cardboard carrying tray and the teas levitate out of your hand; seeing George flourishing his wand so that they didn't spill as you began racing towards them after not seeing them for nearly two weeks. You ran straight into Fred's waiting arms as George placed the teas beside you, waiting his turn with you.

Fred pulled you immediately into a passionate kiss, his left arm wrapped tightly around your waist, holding you to his body whilst his right hand crept to his favourite spot on your jaw.

As you pulled apart, George pulled you towards him by your hand and immediately kissed you with as much passion as Fred, his arms caging you in his hold.

"I'm so excited! It looks so amazing, I'm already so proud of you both!" You beamed excitedly, ready to be the first official customer inside the doors of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

They both beamed in pure elation as Fred unlocked the door with his wand, casting some form of enchantment they used as the door opened wide, showcasing the mind blowing interior, stocked to the high heavens with all their amazing creations. Fred stepped aside, ushering you to step through first as they moved to walk behind you, carefully watching your face as you entered their pride and joy.

As you stepped through the threshold of the store, your breath caught in your throat as two things overwhelmed you simultaneously. Firstly, the sheer pride and amazement at the store in its entirety, so beautifully created to be the physical embodiment of everything Fred and George stood for. The shop was warm, fun, playful and eccentric, their life's creations displayed over five inviting and magical floors, filled to the brim with joy.

The second thing that rendered you entirely breathless was the smell. Clean, warm, sweet and smoky, all mixed together to create the perfect scent of your boyfriends. You couldn't stop the tears that ran down your face in pure happiness as you were finally able to place the scent that had plagued you everyday since you brewed the second draft of Amortentia. You laughed out loud in sheer delight at the absurdity of it all, the final piece connecting to perfect the puzzle of your life.

"The smell," you explained, turning to the twins who were watching you with slight concern at your reaction, seeing tears falling down your face. "This was the third scent of the love potion, the one I could never explain. It was both of you, it was always both of you."

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read, like, comment and reblog my work! I’ve enjoyed every second of writing this series and hope to add more to their love story in the future 🖤✨

[circus4apsycho8]

haunted house. | kai & reader

𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟻/𝟽 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚜' 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚓𝚊𝚐𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚎𝚜𝚝 (𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘 + 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝).

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗-𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚐𝚘𝚛𝚎

This always happens. 

First, a frustrated sigh escapes you as you try to shift in your bed, everything feeling off. Certainly not suited for sleep, much to your dismay. 

“And to think, I was about passed out on the couch,” you mumble, rolling your eyes as you lay there. Maybe if you stay still, you’ll get tired?

The answer to the question is never revealed, though, because moments later your phone screen lights up. You turn towards it, gently tugging the charger out before checking it. 

Kai: hey want to go out tonight? 

Kai: lloyd and i were gonna go to a haunted house tonight, but he got sick last minute and everyone else is busy 

Kai: (i think hes faking it bc hes scared tho lol) 

Kai: i already bought tickets so if u wanna come its covered 

Kai: i know its kinda late tho so no worries if u cant 

A haunted house?! What better way to get spooky on such a wonderful fall night? You shoot upright, stumbling to get out of bed as you respond: 

You: I’m in!! Thank you :)))) 

Kai: np, ill be there in 20 

With that, you start changing, thoughts drifting to the thoughts of what nightmares the haunted house could behold. It’s a bummer that more of your friends can’t attend, but you’re still excited to at least go with Kai. 

Besides, you haven’t hung out with the Ninja of Fire lately, and you find yourself missing his hotheaded nature sometimes. 

Soon enough, you’re waiting by your door anxiously, belongings clutched in your hands. When a brisk knock emanates from your door, you force yourself to wait a few moments before opening it. Can’t seem too eager, right? 

“Hey!” Kai greets, grinning at you as you smile back at his. His brown hair is spiked, but a bit messier than usual, and he’s dressed in civilian clothing: a long-sleeved red shirt and dark jeans to match. 

“Hi!” you repeat, stepping out of your apartment before locking the door. Once that’s done, you take a moment to give Kai a quick hug. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, hasn’t it?” 

“Yeah, now that you mention it, it has been,” he agrees, gently returning the embrace as you inhale the scent of his cologne. “I brought my bike. I hope that’s okay.” 

“Works for me!” you chirp, following him down the stairs. “Which one are we going to?” 

“It’s called Ninjago Nightmare Manor. They’re hosting it inside of an abandoned building this year to really add to the mood.” 

“That sounds so cool!” you reply, the two of you making it outside. The chilly night air embraces you as Kai hands you a red helmet. The article matches his red bike, complete with a cheesy flame design on it. 

You snort upon seeing it, glancing at Kai as you decide to mess with him: “I bet you get all the girls with that flame on your bike.” 

Kai raises an eyebrow at you, picking up his own helmet. “Wow. Bullying me already?” 

“Do you expect anything less of me?” you retort as he straddles the bike, swiping up the kickstand with his heel. 

“Just stop talking and get on the bike,” he says, settling his hands on the bars as the engine whirs to life. You just giggle and climb on behind him, making sure you flick the visor down before gaining a strong grip around his waist. 

“Ready?” he calls, glancing back towards you. 

“Yeah!” you say, pressing your head against his shoulder so you can have a good view of the street. 

With that, Kai takes off. You sigh in relief as you watch the dark street pass in a blur, ears filled with the sound of the wind and engine as Kai expertly steers the motorcycle. 

Chills seep through the fabric of your shirt, beckoning a bunch of goosebumps to form on your skin. Kai’s body heat is enough to keep you from completely freezing, though. 

A few minutes pass as he steers through the empty streets of Ninjago City, eventually leaving the city and speeding down an old, gravel road. You notice an old building approaching along the side of the road situated next to a makeshift parking lot made on the grass. 

Kai turns into the lot, finding a suitable spot before shutting the motorcycle off. You sport an exhilarated grin as Kai steps off, taking a second to unstrap your helmet before pulling it off. 

The Master of Fire takes both of your helmets, setting them on his spot before holding his hand out to you. You take it, allowing him to help you off. 

You can’t help but feel a bit shaky after the experience. “That was fun!” 

“Woah, you okay?” he questions after seeing you wobble a little bit. 

“Yeah, just give me a second,” you say, steadying yourself with his hand before releasing it. “Okay, let’s go!” 

“Looks like the line isn’t terribly long,” Kai notes as the two of you head towards a small tent containing two folding tables, where a few employees are seated behind laptops. “I guess we got here at a good time.” 

You take a second to observe the building. The windows are decorated with bloody handprints, foggy glass, and other Halloween-themed decorations. A few of the staff members mill about the front, most of them in costumes. 

“They nailed the vibe,” you comment as Kai turns to look at the building. “And whoever decided to host it here deserves a raise.” 

“I wonder if it’ll be scarier than last year,” Kai adds, the two of you getting in line behind another couple. 

“I hope so. They always get super creative with their characters!” you add, studying some of the costumes that are present at the entrance. You already see someone dressed up as Michael Myers holding a metal detector at the entrance. 

A few moments later, the couple at the ticket table leaves, leaving you and Kai to step up to the table. 

“Hey guys. Got your tickets, or need to buy ‘em?” greets the employee, smiling tiredly up to the two of you. 

“I’ve got them right here,” Kai answers, fishing the tickets out of his pocket before handing them over. 

The employee takes them, stashing them in a box before holding a stamp up. “Perfect, let me just stamp the back of your hands really quick.” 

She does Kai’s first, then yours as you offer your hand. Once done, you pull it back to see a cutesy, green skull that glows in the dark. 

“Alright, and you guys can just wait over there while we gather the next party to enter. An employee will be with you once there’s enough people.” 

“Cool, thank you!” you say as the two of you make your way towards a small clearing with a bunch of folding chairs set up. About seven other people are milling about, all associating in their own little groups or pairs. 

It isn’t until a group of three joins that an employee comes over, briefly going over the rules before guiding the ten of you over to the entrance, where Michael Myers scans for metal before allowing you all inside. 

Already, you can see a faux fog and bright colors contrasting against the dark setting. Cobwebs and spiders line the hall, leading to the line area where two women are waiting. They’re dressed as Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, both chatting quietly amongst themselves. 

You and Kai make your way up to the front, watching as the two women silently check to see that everyone’s hands are stamped. Once they’re done, they instruct you all to watch the video depicting the rules displayed on the TV above their counter. 

As you watch, though, you can’t help but notice that the Harley Quinn dressed employee is standing a little too close for comfort and is staring right at you. Knowing it’s part of the act, you do your best to ignore it with a small smile on your face as the video continues. 

Once it ends, she asks: “Do you like Christmas?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine. Not as great as Halloween, though,” you reply, watching as her stare narrows into a frown, still looking at you. 

A few painfully long seconds later, she moves to Kai next, doing the same thing. “How ‘bout you? Do you like Christmas?” 

“Yeah,” Kai replies as she steps a little too close to him. 

“Good,” she comments, staring at him for a few more seconds. “I like Christmas too.” 

“Cool...” Kai trails off, clearly not knowing what else to say. 

She goes to make the other guests uncomfortable, leaving you and Kai to chat quietly amongst yourselves while you both wait. Fortunately, the woman dressed as Poison Ivy steps over to open the door soon after, gesturing for you all to enter. 

With that, you and Kai send excited glances at each other before entering. 

At first, you’re walking through a dim room lit with stereotypical haunted house candles on one side of the wall. It soon transitions into a wider room, barely lit by blue and purple lights. Located here is a woman dressed up as a bloodied doll, the room themed like a children’s room and lined with creepy dolls. Some of their eyes are either missing or replaced with buttons. 

“Stay and play with us !” the woman calls, holding one of the dolls up to her face. “We won’t bite!” 

“I hate dolls like this,” Kai mutters. “Reminds me of one of Nya’s old toys. It always creeped me out when I was a kid.” 

You chuckle, shrugging in response. “C’mon, it’s not that bad!” 

The hallway narrows, guiding the two of you into something resembling a psychotic doctor’s office. Sure enough, a large man dressed as a dentist is inside, holding a pair of tongs baring a tooth. 

He approaches you, eyeing you with an unsettling expression as he taps the tongs together a few times. “Your teeth are pretty... I want them...” 

“How about mine?” Kai questions. 

“Yours are stinky,” replies the dentist without missing a beat. 

“What?” Kai questions, pretending to be offended. “Rude!” 

“Give me them molars, little lady!” roars the man as the two of you exit the room. “GIVE ‘EM” 

“Their costumes are super cool,” you note to Kai. The hallway narrows even more, now complete with sharp corners. “I wish we had more time to look at the little details they add.” 

Next up is a killer clown circus room, with three actors running around with fake weapons. The room is lit under a blacklight, making all of the colors glow vibrantly as the clowns roar with vicious laughter. 

“YOU’LL FLOAT TOO!” they taunt between laughs. 

“The killer clown is kind of overrated,” Kai mumbles. 

“Agreed.” 

Thankfully, the next room is filled with a little more excitement. A gore-filled scene awaits the two of you, complete with fake limbs and decapitated limbs scattered about the area. What really completes the scene, though, is a tall, buff man bearing a fake chainsaw and a serial killer mask. 

He ‘revs’ the chainsaw, causing realistic noises to emanate from the prop. Your eyes widen as he raises it, immediately sprinting towards you. 

You squeal, the act catching you off guard as you make a dash for the exit, Kai right behind you but also not fazed. 

“You should have seen your face!” Kai yells, laughing in response. 

You roll your eyes, pouting as you both work your way through a weird hallway, this one with a bubbly fabric in place of normal walls. The two of you have to swipe your way through, the sounds of screams and wails of pain echoing across the room. 

Kai randomly gives a high-pitched screech, making you laugh as you scream in return for no reason. 

“Why are we screaming?” you wonder, finally breaking through the fabric and entering a normal hallway. 

“Because we can!” he answers. “Oh, look down there!” 

Unfortunately, at the end of the hallway lies a seated witch animatronic. Its face is disfigured, mouth twisted into a gnarly grin while its lifeless eyes stare at the two of you dully. Strung about its torso are tattered and bloodied robes. In its left hand is a mystical but monochrome staff. 

 It’s right next to the exit, meaning that you’ll have to pass it in order to proceed. 

“Is it gonna jump at us?” you wonder, eyes widening as you study the figure. It doesn’t look like it’s turned on, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other means of activating it. 

“That’s why they put it there - to instill tension in your brain,” Kai replies, turning towards you with a smirk. “It’s not actually on.” 

“What if it’s motion activated or something?” you mumble, still skeptical. 

“C’mon! Even if it, is the worst it’ll do is pop out at us.” 

“Oh really? Then you go first if you’re so brave!” you retort, pushing your way behind Kai. 

“Fine!” he huffs, leading the way. 

You peer around Kai’s shoulders a few times, breathing a sigh of relief once the two of you are through the door. 

“See? I told you,” Kai replies with a smirk. “No jump scare there.” 

“Whatever,” you mumble, tone lighthearted. 

The last room the two of you get to experience is that depicting the dead bride trope. Thankfully, this one is a bit tamer – an actress sits to the side, woefully picking her eternal bouquet filled with sparing blue petals. You can see fallen petals scattered about the floor, their soft, blue glow a contrast against the dreary, gray Victorian style wallpaper. 

The actress, complete with a zombie bride costume, solemnly mumbles underneath her breath, paying no attention to either of you. You can catch whispers of her voice behind the faint screams and chainsaw noises emanating from the other rooms. 

“...he loves me...loves me not...” she mumbles, tossing petals onto the floor without a care. Her voice is so fragile that it almost makes you forget that she’s simply acting. 

“If you have to ask yourself whether he loves you, then he’s not worth it,” Kai snaps, expression blank as the woman glances up towards him. 

“Yeah. Was he the one who murdered you?” you play along, glancing at the actress for an answer. 

She remains quiet for a moment, tilting her head before nodding. 

“Then murder him back!” you suggest. 

“Perhaps I could...” she murmurs, trailing off before glancing at you once more. “Perhaps I will.” 

With that, the two of you exit the main portion of the haunted house. 

“’Murder him back’? Really?” Kai teases, shoving your shoulder gently. 

“Shut up. I was trying to get into it,” you reply with a snicker. 

With that, the two of you make your way towards the stairwell, immediately making your way towards the descent. 

That is, until you start to hear soft footsteps behind you. A quick glance behind you reveals an employee sneaking up behind Kai. 

You immediately realize what he’s about to do, deciding to engage Kai again to provide another distraction. 

“Hey, want to get food once we’re out of here?” you wonder, smiling smally at him as he nods. 

“Actually, yeah, that sounds great. I was thinking we could grab something at Chen’s-” 

“HAPPY HALLOWEEN!” screeches the employee from behind Kai, who jumps a little bit with a startled yell. You immediately burst out into laughter, Kai’s expression souring. 

“Were you just trying to distract me?” he questions. 

“Yeah, but that was also a serious question,” you reply, both of you bidding goodnight to the employees before heading downstairs. “Want to get food?” 

“Yeah, let’s do it,” he adds as the two of you make your back towards his motorcycle, the haunted house fading into the horizon a few minutes later. 

[luvvnai]

sugar

what happens when you meet a girl that matt doesn't like

being a black girl in la isn't easy especially when you don't fit into the 'norms' until one night Tara had invited you and nick a club called karma your wherein a short black dress with matching black chunky boots " hey Tara how you been" you say hugging her "OMG HII GUYS"

i laughed at tars drunk words tara and nick are now talking you try to engage in the conversation but there isnt much you can add not being a influencer all you do is post music not doing many clabs and friendships never really worked out for you

"imma go get som to drink ill be back" you walk to the bar and order a vod soda hoping the liquor will help you socialize waiting for the drink you notice another black girl with long godness braids siting by herself "your braids are so cute" i said smiling she turned around "thank you i did them myself"

as she turned you got to see what she looked like (can we just do lotto if she wasn't famous) we hit it off very well her name is sugar 20 and is from Chicago so she understands how it feels as we were talking for about an hour matt sent me a text that he was here to pick up me and nick

"girl im sorry but i got to go my nigga is here " i said kinda sad that i had to leave her "its ok can i get your number " you gave her your number walking away to go to matts car with a little more happiness in your step "matt guess what" you asked him as you put on your seat belt giving him a kiss as well

"what's up" he said rising an eyebrow as nick got into the car and he drove off" i met this girl her name is sugar she is 20 and from Chicago" you were smiling a little harder than usual "matt was happy that you were finding friends he didn't mind sharing his friends with you but could tell that you didn't click with them the way he had hoped for

" that's nice baby" he smiled "no no there's more she's black also finally someone i can relate to" your unusual happiness clicked to him now understanding why you were so happy "wait but what about Quin i thought you could relate to her" you loved quin but she was from la and was and a influencer so there were still things she didn't understand

"matt just because she black doesn't mean she fully understand me" you smiled "oh no i understand" matt kinda felt bad but "your right we do get along and she gets me sometimes but this girl is different she isnt in the spot light and i like that everyone is so worried about how they will look but she don't care" as the car ride went on the more you talked exited to find a la friend

as the week went on you and sugar became amazing friends always out or otp she was very outgoing loved partying shopping and all the above today she had asked if you wanted to go shopping and duhh now you geting ready puting low waisted baggy jeans a black crop top and convers you walk out the bathroom after finishing your makeup

matt siting on his gaming chair turned to you "hi sweetheart where you " you looked at yourself in the full body mirror matt had in his room putting your lip combo and gloss on "me and sugar are going to the mall" you said turning to him "how do i look" he rolled his chair Infront of you rubbing the back of your thighs

"baby you sure you're not hanging out with her too much i mean you've only known her for about a week and you've hung out with her almost every day snice" rolling your eyes at him matt "it's better than rotting in your room every day" he let out a sigh i know i just don't want you getting hurt" my phone goes off and it's a text from sugar Shes here baby i got to go love you say kissing him and walking out

once yall got to the mall and started shopping for tops flipping though the racks the topic of matt came up wait so what's his name you smiled at the thought of matt "his names matt and he's 21 an-" "ouhh you got a older man" she said poking your stomach "i bet he takes real good care of you" you smile "yeah i guess"

we go to check out "oh shit" you said as realize you left your wallet at home what's wrong sugar asked "i left my wallet at home" you responded slapping your forehead" its ok i got you" she said going to pay but you pulled her arm back "no its fine i have matts card on apple pay but thank you" you used matts apple pay as you both walked out

you went to text matt that you had used his card but when you opened the text "wait you have his apple pay" she said drawing you attend away from the text on yeah," it's for times like this" as i shut my phone off we walked into the next store marc Jacobs you saw these chunky boots like the ones Tara had omg these are so cute you said to sugar as she turned around ahh yes you have to get them

you looked down at the price tag 600 dollars you said eyes almost popping out your head you go to put them back down no no sugar grabbed your arm just get them why you acting like you got no money" you sigh looking down at the boots then back at the tag "but i don't wanna put it on matts card" "girl hes rich to hes not gon care" you contemplating it "well he did say i could use it for whatever" sugar smiles at you as you walk wall leave marc jacobs boots in bag

as you two keep shopping you keep feeling like she wants you spend money on matts card like when you two had went into winsor because you felt like you didn't have any dresses for when you would go out you tried on a black long dress with glitter and a long slit but couldn't pick between the black and red "y/n just get both they look cute" you look at the tag "sugar they 60 each no way" sugar sighed with a kinda annoyed tone "just get them matt said it's for when every he won't be mad" after more convincing you left the store with both dresses

and the same thing happened at true religion, but you didn't want to lose sugar you pushed the thought away maybe she just wants you to spoil yourself you got home, and she dropped you off when you waked into matts room you put the bag down thinking you had sent the text earlier you didn't bring up his card what you get he asked you showed him some of the stuff putting it away

30 minutes later you were on matts bed on your phone when he walked in "y/n" " mhmm" you said not looking up from your phone "did you use my card today" your eyes shot up forgetting about that "oh yeah i texted you" you respond nervus at his response "no you didnt you spent almost 2,000" youu shot up from his bed not relizing thats how much you spent" what! matt no way"

he walks over showing the bank statements "oh my goodness i didn't even realize sugar was just telling me you wouldn't mind and i guess i just got carried away ill cash app you back righ-" matt sighed "no its fine i gave you the apple pay for a reason" as you went to apologies again you got a facetime from sugar you answered it "hey bitch what you doing" i lifted the camera so she could see i was talking to matt who's that she said mugging the camera realizing you never showed her what matt looked like now he is mugged her as well

"that's matt" you said kinda awkward "oh that what he looks like" sugar said "matt now side eyeing us i was just expecting something else..." before i could answer matt answered "so what where you expecting" his mattatude coming out now holding the phone sugar smirking "i don't know just when shake yo dreads by sexy red came on in the club y/n sang pretty hard and if i Rember correctly she said she love her dark skin dread heads"

the same smirk that she held when she told me to use matts card but before you can think about it to hard matt hangs up tossing it on the bed and walks out

oh my days thats to much for me to type im done ill probably make a part two tell me what you wanna see in part two if yall even want one idk i feel like this was unnecessarily long but i literally came up with this idea and did it with in like 3 hours so im tired and also divider from @bernardsbendystraws

[lilacfiresoul]

needle, april 3 -- @jegulus-microfic -- 669 words

content warnings for talk and depictions of sickness (reg has hay fever), very very brief mention of regulus' parents (gross), and talk of vaccines, and needles! there is no actual description of either vaccines or needles, but it's talked about by james and reg.

this one is another cute one idk what's wrong with me, i can't stop writing fluff aaa

----

There’s something ironic about the fact that every time springtime rolls around, Regulus gets ill. It’s like clockwork, every year.

Once the usually drab English sky starts becoming less grey and a little bit more blue; once the flowers start to push up from the soil and unfurl their petals in the sunlight; once baby lambs start being born in the farmer’s fields; once the clouds get fluffy, the days longer, nights shorter—there’s an inevitability that Regulus will get sick.

James is no longer taken by surprise by it anymore. Living with Regulus for three summers already, he’s more than accustomed to help him deal with his hay fever. He’s used to seeing Regulus with red and puffy eyes, nose blocked and sneezing into tissues before he can finish his sentence.

Usually he can cope pretty well, but this year seems to be the worst. With the pollen levels being high, Regulus is staying indoors, lying in bed until around midday, when he finally drags himself out of his nest with a headache and itchy eyes.

“It’s a pity that there isn’t a vaccine to help you cope with this,” James comments off-handedly. It’s one in the afternoon, and the two of them are cuddling in their bed, binge-watching a new Netflix series.

Regulus shakes his head, the ends of his hair brushing lightly against James’ jaw. “I’m glad there’s not.”

“What? Why? Are you afraid of needles, or something?”

On the screen, the main character screams and starts fighting the approaching zombies. Regulus doesn’t reply, gaze fixed determinedly on the TV show.

James’ stomach drops, and he reaches over the pause the show. “Wait, are you?”

“Kind of,” Regulus admits. “My mother used to force me and Sirius to get the flu jabs back in school."

At the mention of Regulus' parents, James frowns. "I'm sorry, Reg."

Regulus shrugs. "It's fine. It was one of the good things she did for me, I guess, but it didn’t mean I didn’t cry. Sirius was never afraid of them.”

“Yeah, with the amount of tattoos he has, I wouldn’t think so,” James agrees, and Regulus chuckles.

“He wasn’t allowed to, but he used to—”

Suddenly, Regulus lunges for the box of tissues, able to catch his sneeze just in time. The tissue, quickly scrunched up into a ball, is tossed towards the other end of the bed, joining its equally as screwed up friends.

Sniffing, Regulus continues, “He used to sneak out of class to sit with me whilst I had it done. I could tell the nurse hated it, but she never said anything because it meant I took the jab. He would— Wait, James, this is silly, promise you won’t laugh.”

When James glances down at him, he notices Regulus is doing that thing he does when he’s embarrassed or stressed, clenching and unclenching his fists, digging his nails into the palm of his hand.

“Why would I laugh? I bet it’s not silly,” James tells him, meaning every word. “My dad’s afraid of needles, you know. Used to absolutely refuse whenever he had to get his flu jabs topped up. I think he still does, and he has to get them with my mum. My mum holds his hand—”

“Sirius used to do that with me!” Regulus cuts him off, seeming less embarrassed now because James’ parents, who are old and have grey hairs, and who seem very much still in love, do it too. There’s even a smile on his face which James can’t help returning.

Leaning closer, James takes Regulus’ hand, pressing his lips to his skin, murmuring, “Want me to hold yours if there ever is a hay fever jab?”

“No,” Regulus says, looking away to hide his blush.

There’s a beat.

And then, Regulus says sheepishly, “Actually, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

[antiadvil]

what are some phancoded songs?

okay i have been sitting on this for a while bc i feel like all of my suggestions are basic but i've been emboldened by the recent phan song posting. a lot of the songs on my phlaylist i added because i associate them with wad/ii/etc but here are the ones i can actually lyrically defend:

the tortured poet's department (taylor swift): look. this song is way more toxic than i usually like to imagine dan and phil. but some lyrics are just SO. look.

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show

imagine: it is 2010. dan is saying he doesn't know if he and phil should move in together because phil makes him too happy and complacent in life. self sabotage mode!! throwing spikes down on the road!!

Who else decodes you? And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me?

like. when you just click with someone. and you're like: this is it for me. if they leave me i will never love or be loved again. one of the things i like about this song is just how intense it is- i think it captures the intensity of their relationship (especially their early relationship) or at least, the intensity i feel about their relationship lmao

I chose this cyclone with you

this is probably my favorite lyric on the song and i think it's something many mentally ill people want to hear from our partners: you're an intense, dramatic mess, but you're my intense, dramatic mess, and i love you.

they don't know about us (one direction): okay this one is a little more self explanatory and like, thank god, because if i go to that level of depth on every song i'm going to be here all night.

They don't know about the things we do They don't know about the I love you's But I bet you, if they only knew (They don't know) They would just be jealous of us They don't know about the up all nights They don't know I've waited all my life Just to find a love that feels this right (They don't know) Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us

like. you get it right? it's just. it's just them

that's so us (allie x): this one is sooo basic but i just had to put it. "we've been a wreck together since 2009." <3333333333

danny don't you know (ninja sex party) just has some really crazy parallels lmao, i saw someone use its lyrics once for a gifset and i was never able to unsee it:

Hey little Danny, don’t you cry I am you from much later in your life I know your hair is wild, I know you have no style

Danny, don’t you know that you are cool as fuck on the inside? You’re just going through an awkward phase from 12 to 29

Now you’re on tour and they want more! You step on stage and they come alive No one cares that you’re 35 You’re a rock star on a centaur! Where'd he get a centaur? You’re still a nerdy kid inside But now you’ve finally found your tribe Hear the crowd roar! Give ‘em what they came for!

like!!! they even got the hair!!! (dan has always had a sense of style though i think. not always a good one. but he had one)

sinners (lauren aquilina): this song just reminds me a lot of how dan talks about his internalized homophobia (and of my own experiences with that).

And judgement taught us that our hearts were wrong

The rules say our emotions don't comply But we'll defy the rules until we die

The world may disapprove But my world is only you

You showed me feelings I've never felt before We're making enemies, knocking on the devil's door And how can you expect me not to eat When the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?

yeah this is like half the song. deal with it. like. i think there can be something very healing about entering into a queer relationship with someone who makes you feel loved and safe after years of being told that was wrong. "how can you expect me not to eat / when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?" when i was young i had a very powerful sort of reverse conversion experience, where i had been struggling to make sense of catholic teachings on homosexuality because like... it just didn't seem that bad. but everyone around me was saying it was. parents, teachers, family friends. and i was like, 14, and at that age, you kind of assume that adults do know more than you. they wouldn't all be against this if there was no reason, right? and then i fell in love with a girl and i was just like. wow. okay. these people are just wrong?? because this feels so good and normal and right?? like. yeah. the forbidden fruit tastes good. and is good for you, actually.

the alchemy (taylor swift) is just like, a power couple song. i don't know that any lyrics are super specifically phan coded (phoded if you will) like i just hear anything about love and go "oh my god that's so dan and phil coded." but:

Call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team Ditch the clowns, get the crown Baby, I'm the one to beat

These blokes warm the benches We've been on a winning streak

like! they are THE youtube couple sorry everyone else is just trying to be as cool as them.

'Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me

gay

Where's the trophy? He just comes runnin' over to me

boncas anyone????

okay this is like so long and i have so many chores to do so i'll cut it here but not without adding still into you (paramore). self explanatory