#I REPEAT i do NOT need an arsenal breakdown

[debushit]

i need f1 back so i can have a mental breakdown about something other than myself

[scribblesofagoonerr]

— I'm never babysittin' again!

Thanks to the anon who requested this one, I've been working on this since I got in and fun fact, I've had no sleep whatsoever, so definitely gonna regret that at work later...

Anyways, I am working through other requests and stuff. If anyone has anymore, let me know. Always willing to write stuff within reason.

Also, massive thanks to @alotofpockets who helped me come up with some of the idea's to add in.

pairings: kim little x reader, leah williamson x reader, arsenal wfc x reader

summary: readers' a menance on the trip to melbourne along with her partner in crime, kyra, and poor kimmy's almost having a nervous breakdown over it, so she has to call in reinforcements back home in london.

"I'm bored," You let out an exagerated sigh and kicked your legs back and forth as you had been forced to sit on one of the seats in the secluded lounge area as you had to wait for your flight to board.

You were partaking in a friendly game in Melbourne with the rest of your Arsenal team mates against an A-League team, you had been so excited about this ever since you found out that you'd made the squad.

"How much longer?" You can't help but be bored, being forced to sit in an airport certainly wasn't your idea of fun, neither was being stuck under the watchful eye of your Captain either.

You swear that the club, and Leah in particular, had planned this on purpose.

It's like they knew already, somehow.

You wouldn't call yourself a troublemaker, persay, buts' what fun is life without causing a little mischeif, sometimes?

Apparently, the rest of the older girls' didn't have the same thoughts about it.

At least you had Kyra on your side to involve her in the chaos, the girl was a bit older than you but she was your partner in crime, you two always fun causing mischief together.

"It won't be too much longer, Y/N. Just be patient," Kim, your captain and unoffical babysitter for the trip, tries to reassure you, but never the less, you just feel further restless.

In your defence, you can't help the boundless energy you have inside of you, its' like your body feels like lightening bolts are itching to strike and you just want to be up and racing about.

The confides of the hard plastic seat make it difficult to do that though.

"But I'm bored, Kim," You repeat in a whiny tone of voice, throwing your head back in frustration. "Nobodys' letting me have fun around here!"

"There's a difference between fun and trouble kid," Steph, another one of your team mates, chimes in, amused by your antics.

"It won't be too much longer now, Y/N. I'm sure you can wait just that little bit longer," Kim states, although her patience is wearing thin.

It hadn't even been 24 hours yet, and the Scottish women was already on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

"Are you excited to be going to Melbourne, kid?" Steph wonders, trying to keep your mind occupied for the time being, already being able to see how fidgty you have become, "It's a cool place, you're gonna love it!" She adds.

"Uh huh. I'm excited-- Oh wait, I still need sweets for the light!" You suddenly realise, attempting to make a break for it when you can.

Kim shakes her head in disagreement, "Its' too late now, Y/N. We're going to boarding the flight soon," She interjects, trying to reign you in.

"Yeah, and you definitely don't need anymore sugar because you're already hyper enogugh," Steph adds in, which you respond to her with a pout.

"Aw, man. Leah would let me if she was here," You try and protest, however, your words are very much incorrect and of course the rest of the girls aren't stupid enough to believe that either.

You know that Leah, if she was here, would most definitely not allow you to have sugar at all.

In fact, she'd purposely try and make ham sandwiches in an attempt to steer you from even going in the direction of the shop.

"No she wouldn't," Katie, one of the older girls on the team comments as she passes by.

"Yeah, we all know what you're like without sugar. You don't need any of it,Titch," Caitlin, one of the Aussie girls on your team, adds in.

You huff in further protest, your bordem is slowly persisting and it feels like you've been waiting for the flight to board for ages.

Desperately trying to find something to occupy your time, your eyes gaze upon the several dogs' lined up near the barriers to get through security.

"Bingo," You think to yourself as your eyes' light up in delight, wasting no time to jump up from your seat and dart in the direction of the dogs.

All you want to do is pet them. They look adorable in your opinion.

Before anyone could even stop you, you'd already successfully made it halfway across the terminal in the direction, however, the annoucement of the flight to boarding to Melbourne had gotten Kims' attention now.

"Right, our flights been called. See Y/N? I told you it wouldn't be that long," Kim spoke aloud, not realising that you'd somehow managed to wander off in the time that she'd turned round to speak to Steph, "Where's Y/N gone?!" She questions, her eyes widen in panic when she doesn't see you in her eyesight.

"Look's like she went to pet the dogs," Kyra snickers, amused with your antics, and although she should try and stop you, she wanted to see how far you would succeed with your little adventure.

"She wants to make friends with them," Teyah joins in, just as amused as she watches the scene unfold.

"And neither of you tried to stop her? You know what she's like!" Kim shakes her head in disbelief and her eyes' almost buldge out of her sockets when she spots you nearing the dogs, "Oh, God-- Y/F/N!"

"You might wanna grab her before she gets' her arm ripped off, Kim," Katie jokes, watching in amusement.

"Unbelieveable," Kim mutters to herself as she races' quicker than ever in the direction of you.

Unfortunately before you'd made it nearer to the dogs, you feel a firm grip on your upper bicep that's starting to tug you back forcefully.

You spin round and are met with your Captains' stern face, "Kim!" You whine in protest while trying to wriggle free from her grasp.

"What an earth are you doing, Y/N? You can't pet the dogs!" Kim scolds you, remaining to still have your hand on you tightly to not allow you to run off again. "Come on, we need to board the flight," She adds, sternly.

"But the dogs though. They're adorable!" You pout in further protest, not happy about being pulled away before you even had chance to pet them.

"Mhm, as adorable as they look, they're patrol dogs and they have a job to do here," Kim remarks sarcastically, dragging you back in the direction of your team mates so you can board the flight.

"Maybe you need to invest in a leash for her," Alessia, another one of your team mates pipes in as she watches you be reluctantly dragged back to the group of girls while Kims' already rubbing her temples in dispare ahead of the flight before its' even taken off.

"Pst, Kyra," You nudge the older girl not so gently to wake her up, having been bored on the flight while the rest of the girls seem to be asleep or doing their own thing, "Wanna play a prank on some of the others?" You question, mischeviously.

So far the flight to Melbourne hadn't been that adventurous, somehow through luck though you managed to be able to sit next to your partner in crime.

It was great for you, however, not so much for Kim, whos' been frazzled and trying to keep things under control the whole time on the flight.

"Absolutely," Kyra grins in respose as theres' a matching mischevious twinkle in her eye, "What'd you have in mind?" She wonders, curiously.

You grin and proceed to pull out a whoopee cushion from your carry-on, "Well, we could start with this?" You suggest in a quiet whisper, to not get the attention of Kim, whos' got her head buried in a book at the moment.

"Genius!" Kyra's eyes light up in glee, "Whos' our first target?" She questions.

"Caitlins' dozzing off," You gesture in the direction where Caitlins' half in and out of sleep.

You and Kyra both share a look before the older girl sneaks over to Caitlin and slips the whoopie cushion underneath the older Australians' seat.

"Show time," You smirk as you wait for her to sit on it.

Caitlin wakes up startled when it suddenly goes off and she looks around confused, "What the--?"

The pair of you can't help but giggle uncontrollably.

"Y/N, Kyra," Kim catches onto your troublemaker ways and narrows her eyebrow, "Behave!"

"What? We didn't do anything!" You feign your innocence, holding your hands up in protest.

"Let's move on to Steph," Kyra encourages you to continue with your pranks.

"Yeah, good shout," You nod in agreement and find the packet of gummy worms in your bag, you could easily eat them but pranking the Aussie women was more worth it. "Lets' put these in her bag. She'll totally freak out!" You add in.

Kyra eagerly accepts the packet of sweets and sneaks over to Stephs' seat, cautiosly depositing the gummy worms in her open backpack, "Done. Now we just need to wait for her to go in there--"

"Ah! What the hell?" If Stephs' facial expression is anything to go by then you guess Stephs' found them already, "Y/N! Kyra!"

"It weren't us," Kyra plays it off and shrugs her shoulders.

"Yeah, you have no proof," You give the girl a smug grin.

The older Australian women shakes her head in annoyance, "Pests. You're both a pair of pests, honestly," She mutters aloud.

"You two are something else," Katie overhears the commotion and shakes her head.

"Dare I ask what you pair did now?" Alessia questions, joining in as she overhears the noise from her fellow team mate.

"I don't know what you're talkin' about, we're just havin' a bit of fun," You still continue to act innocent, although you personally don't understand what the fuss is about when you're contained in a metal box with no escape.

You need to entertain yourself, somehow.

Pranking your team mates is the perfect opportunity.

"Hey, Alessia! Do you like spiders?" Kyra smirk mischeviously, already ahead of the plans for another prank at the expense of the older blonde girl, who you both know has a bad fear for them.

"No, not really-- Ah!" Alessia shrieks loudly when you toss a fake spider in her direction, doing no more than jumping up onto her seat before she realises a fake plastic one and is now glaring at you, "Y/N! Kyra!" She yells, annoyed with you both.

"That's enough!" Kim shoots up from her seat, giving you both a pointed look. "Both of you, sit down and behave!" She bellows.

"Yes, ma'am," You pretend to be serious and move back to your seat.

Kyra gives your Captain a mock salute and continues to follow suit, "Aye aye, Captain!" She jokes with her.

"I don't want to hear anything more from the pair of you for the rest of this flight," Kim warns you both before she returns to reading her book.

"Pst, Y/N," It's Kyra's turn to nudge you know with a knowing look on her face, "We should try and see if we can balance peanuts on Frida's head while she's asleep," she suggests the idea to you.

Never being the one to turn down a challenge, you smirk and nod your head in agreement, "You're on. That'll be easy!" You insist.

With the task in hand, you both lean across your seats' and carefully begin to place peanuts on Frida's head, one by one.

"Wow. I didn't think this would actually work," You whisper in amazement and try to stifle your giggling, however, thats' not going to plan when Frida wakes up and the peanuts' fly everywhere.

"What..." Frida looks completely baffled, while you and Kyra still continue to hold back your laughter even more.

You can't hold it in much longer before you end up bursting out in laughter, "That... That was great!" You state in amusement.

"Y/F/N! Kyra! I swear, if you don't behave then I'll have the captain come talk to you!" Kim chides, feeling like she's ready to blow with the mishchief that you pair have caused. "I mean it when I say no more trouble from either of you for the rest of this entire flight, understood?"

You still can't help but laugh out loud at the misfortune of Frida wearing half a bag of peanuts on her head, "Someons' salty. Get it, cos' they were salted peanuts!" You crack up into more laughter.

"I mean it, Y/N. I will get the captain, or when we get to Melbourne, I'll have no problem in telling Leah all the antics you got up to," Kim threatens you and your face pales immediately.

Sure, the captain of the plane might be terrifying, but your blonde vice-captain was someone you definitely did not want to be in hot water with.

Unforuntately, you seemed to find yourself on the end of stern lecture with her one too many times.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop, I'll behave-- Don't phone her!" Your quick to plead with your Captain, really not wanting her to make that call.

Kyra nods but she keeps her fingers crossed behind her back, "Yeah, we'll be good," She states.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Steph mutters, shaking her head.

Caitlin nods in agreement with the older Aussie girl, "Them pair are magnets for trouble," She remarks.

It wasn't long before you had arrived in Melbourne, when your flair for trouble is encouraged once again by Kyra and the pair of you can't resist goofing off inside the gym.

"Kimmy!" You all but plow yourself on the older women, whos' peacefully minding her own business on one of the massage tables until you came at her like a full whirlwind.

Somehow, Kyra decides to get the idea to improvise giving your Captain chest compressions or something along the lines of what it looks like.

Also, trying to encourage you to hang of the pull up bar with the overshadowing of a bet on the tables.

You have always loved to bet on things. Your not turning down this opportunity.

"Kimmy! Kyra' reckons I can't hang off the pull up bar. Watch this!" You tattle, before you make your way over to the bar.

"Y/N, no. You'll hurt yourself!" Kim's quick to bolt up from the table to stop you from attempting to break your leg with your attempt to hang upside down on the pull up bar.

Kyra giggles mischeviously and watches as Kim almost has a near heart attack watching the trouble unfold, "Nah, Y/N. You've gotta do it like this!" With that, she pulls herself up onto the bar and flips herself over so she's dangling upside down.

"The pair of you get down before you get hurt!" Kim chides, trying to keep a stern facade when dealing with the pair of you. "Y/N, I'm serious. Get down!" She repeats, trying to reason with your chaotic antics.

"Your no fun. I only wanted to swing from the bar like a monkey," You huff in protest and begrudingly get off the bar to save your Captain from having an annuerysm.

Unfortunately for the older girl, your trouble doesn't seem to stop for too long and between you and Kyra, you had managed to mismatch everyones' boots when they were mostly preoccupied.

"Why do my boots' feel different?" Katies' the first one to realise as she looks at them in confusion, "These aren't mine," She notes.

Caitlins' just as quick to realise her own pair are missing, "Hey, who took my boots?" She questions.

"Seriously, guys?" Steph huffs, holding up two different sized boots in each of her hands.

Kim spins' round to look at you and Kyra, "Girls, did you do this?" She asks, her voice sounding calm, which is weary in itself.

"Who, us? Never!" You can't help but grin, which is a dead giveaway from your latest shenanigans.

"Yeah, we were just standing here," Kyra feigns her innocence and holds her hands up in mock surrender.

Alessia can't help but laugh and shake her head, "I bet it was you two. Your always up to something," She states.

"Maybe," You let out a small giggle.

Kim exhales a sigh at your antics, "Just switch them back. We need to start training soon!" She tells you both, sternly.

"Yes, ma'am," You joke and pretend to be serious with your Captain.

"Right away, Captain," Kyra gives Kim another mock salute as the pair of you set the boots to the right players.

"Why do I put up with this?" Kim mutters to herself, although its' loud enough to be heard from a few of the girls.

"Remember what Less said about needing a leash for Y/N," Steph chimes in, reminding the Scottish women about the idea.

"At this point, I'm actually considering it," Kim remarks, already having thoughts about it.

"Hey, I'm not a dog!" You overhear the conversation and shout in protest.

"Ha, could you imagine? Y/N on a leash at training," Katie snickers in amusement and shakes her head, "That'd be hilarious!"

"Might actually be a good idea," Vic, another one of the girls on the team, chips in.

"I'm deeply hurt by this suggestion!" You still continue to act offended.

"You know its' true, Y/N/N," Caitlin laughs at your own expense, going to take a sip of her water but pulls away with the frown when there's a revolting taste from it, "Ew, why does my water taste horrible?" She asks, confused.

"Oh God," Steph exhales a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose, "Kyra, Y/N, what have you done now?" She questions, glancing in both of your directions.

"Oh no, we must've got the bottles all in a pickle," Kyra smirks and gives the clue away as you both share a look with one another.

You can't help but burst out into laughter again, meanwhile Kims' slowly rubbing her temples and trying to refrain calm over the situation.

"Right, that's it, Y/N-- I'm callin' Leah. I've had enough of your troublemaker ways!" Your Captain states in outrage, shaking her head.

You freeze in your tracks and immediatly start to shake your head in protest, "No, no, please, Kim... Please, don't do that!" You plead with her.

"One more chance," Kim warns, firmly. "One more slip up and I'm phoning her!" She adds, shaking her head and questioning her life decisions on how she got stuck babysitting the kids (the untrustworthy and non responsible young adults) for this trip.

Better yet, the younger girls' that had joined them on the trip were better behaved than you were at times.

Having this be your first time in Melbourne, let alone Australia, you were keen to explore and when the prospect of a trip to the zoo was on the tables, you were more than ecstatic to visit there and see all of the animals.

Ever since Kims' threat to phone Leah back home in London, you been trying to remain on your best behaviour. You really didn't want to be in trouble with the blonde again, so you'd done your best to avoid your troublemaker partner.

However, that is easier said than done sometimes.

"Wow," You spoke aloud in amazement as you walk through the entrance of the Melbourne zoo, with the rest of your team mates in tow, keen to see as many of the animals as possible.

"Stay close, Y/N. I don't want to loose you," Kim warns, already thinking ahead of your disappearing act in the airport previous to this.

"I want to see the Koalas," You huff in protest and try to figure out a way to get away from them.

"You will, there'll be plenty of time for that. You just need to be patient," Kim reassures you, although her patience is way past the point of calm.

"Come with me, Y/N. I'll show you where they are," Kyra offers the opportunity for you to sneak away from the rest of the girls in the search for the animal you want to see.

"Okay," You don't think twice before being led astray by the older girl once again and make your way to the enclosure where they are, "Wow, they're so cool!" You stare at them in amazement.

"Aren't they just?" Kyra murmers, looking at them.

"Hey, I have an idea," There's a twinkle of mischief in your eye again as you look at the older Australian girl, "Bet you can't get a selfie with one of them!"

"Oh, yeah? You're on!" Kyra isn't one to back down from the challenge, completely missing the 'no entry' sign in clear view, she creeps towards one of them and you get your phone out and hold it up ready to take the photo.

"Hey! What're you doing?" The loud voice of a zookeeper startles you both, almost causing you to drop your phone in the midst of it all, "You can't be in here!" They shout.

Without any hesistation, you both are quick to make an escape from there and scramble back over the railing.

Back with the rest of the girls, its' dawned on them that they've one again lost you both as they begin to search around for you.

"Y/N?" Kim shouts aloud.

"Kyra?" Steph and Caitlin both call out for the younger Aussie girl.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Katie chimes in, jokingly.

Alessia exhales a sigh and shakes her head, "How can they wonder off again without us realising?" She wonders.

Steph looks around and spots you both near the kaolo enclosure, "Oh boy," She mutters to herself.

"You might really need to invest in that leash after all, you know, Kim," Vic chips in, amusedly.

"I'm staring to think so too," Kim remarks, exhaling a sigh.

"I knew you'd come around," Alessia jokes, overhearing the conversation.

"There you both are!" Kim strides over with a stern expression, taking a hold of your upper bicep again. "That's it, that's the final straw. I'm calling Leah!" She states, already having made her mind up.

"It's not just me, its' Kyra too," Your quick to throw the older girl under the bus in protest.

"Hey!" Kyra whines in protest.

"You're meant to be setting an example, Kyra!" Caitlin scolds the younger Australian girl.

"You're older than Y/N, Kyra. You should know better!" Steph chimes in.

You can't help but smirk in satisfaction that you're not being scolded for once, "Can we go see the kangaroos now?" You question, innocently.

"Don't look to happy yet, Y/N. I'm still calling Leah when we're back at the hotel and telling her how much trouble you've caused over the last 24 hours," Kim remarks, which causes you to furrow your eyebrows. "And until then, I want you right by my side for the remainder of time that we're here so I know where you are!"

"Sit," Kim orders straight away as you follow her into her hotel lobby and begins to dial Leahs' number on her phone as she paces the floor back and forth, "Come on, pick up, pick up," She murmers as she waits for the response on the other end of the line, despite the time that it might be.

You can't help but sit there and hope that Leah doesn't answer, because you really knew you'd done it now to be in trouble, yet again.

"Hey Kim!" Leahs' voice answers on the other end of the phone, connecting the video call to where it looked like she was in gym surrounded with the rest of the girls back in London.

"Hi, Kimmy!" Beth pops her head in the video call and waves at her Captain. "Hows' Australia?" She wonders.

"It's a disaster, girls! I can't take it anymore!" Kim tells them frantically.

Leah looks immediately concerned as her eyebrows knit together, "Whoa, what's the matter?" She asks, confused.

"You look like you're about to have a nervous breakdown there, Kimmy," Beth jokes, seeing the exasperated look on the older women's face. "What's up?" She asks.

"Y/N and Kyra! Between them, they're both driving me insane!" Your Captain admits out loud, and you try to slump down in your seat to try and hide from the telling off that you know is iminant when Leah finds out what's been going on.

By this point, all the girls' in the gym have decided to surround Leahs' phone to find out about yours and Kyra's antics.

"Uh oh," Viv murmers, shaking her head. "What've they done?" She asks.

"I think its' more like what haven't they done," Beth jokes, trying to keep the mood light in the room.

Kim shakes her head and settles on the bed, trying to keep her attention between you and the phone call, "Leah, its' like Y/N is out to be a complete menace this trip," She pauses as she glances at you to make sure you're not doing anything you shouldn't be. "Together they've done nothing but cause trouble, from switching everyones' boots during training and putting pickle juice in the water bottles, and causing trouble on the plane with their pranks and don't even get me started about the airport either!"

"Wait, someone actually drank the pickle juice?" Manu looks considerably confused at the mention of the pickle juice in patricular.

"That doesn't sound good," Stina comments, laughing.

Laia smirks in amusement, "I can't believe it," She states.

"What happened at the airport?" Lia asks, curiously.

"Well lets' just say that Y/N wanted to go over and pet the friendly dogs," Kim remarks sarcastically, shaking her head.

Beth snorts in realisation, "The friendly dogs? You mean the patrol dogs-- Oh dear," She shakes her head in utter disbelief.

"I feel like I'm at my wits end with them both. We couldn't even go the zoo without them wandering off and getting into trouble, Alessia even suggested that I get a leash for Y/N and I'm half tempted!" Kim rambles to them over the phone, ready to pull her hair out after dealing with both you and Kyra for the last god-knows how many hours.

"I knew I should've come on this trip, Y/N's always a handful, but this sounds like its' too much," Leah exhales a sigh and bites her bottom lip. "Is she there with you now?" She asks.

"Shes' right here," Kim nods in agreement with the blonde, panning the camera to face you. 

"Hi Leah," You wave innocently at the blonde, hoping that she'll go easier on you.

It's needless to say that the blonde looks that impressed.

"Where's Kyra?" Viv questions, arching an eyebrow as she doesn't spot your counter part in the room.

"With Steph and Caitlin, I needed to seperate the pair of them. They're talking to her about this, but feel free to call in as well," Kim tells the Dutch.

"I'll call her afterwards. Can't her go anywhere unsupervised," Viv states, shaking her head in disappointment.

"You're doing great, Kimmy. Just a few more days!" Beth chimes in, trying to keep your Captain in high spirits. "Hang in there!"

Kim shakes her head in protest, "I'm never babysitting again! I'm gonna need a holiday after this-- I'm getting grey hair! I thought Y/N was bad on her own, but she's even worse when Kyra's with her!" She exclaims to the  girls.

Leah exhales a sigh, feeling for the older women as she pinches the bridge of her nose, "Right, okay. Put Y/N on Kim. Maybe I can get through to her," You can tell that the blondes' trying to remain calm and collective, but she feels annoyed at your behaviour still.

"Please do," Kim murmers, feeling relieved as she turns to look in your direction. "Y/N, come and talk to Leah!" She calls over.

"Uh no, no... I'm alright actually, I think I'll just--" You try and back out of talking to her, not ready for the confronation from the blonde.

"Over here, Y/F/N!" You hear Leah call you out directly and you inwardly curse, having no choice but to do as your told for once, waiting to speak again when you were in front of the camera, "What the hell are you playing at, kid?" She cuts straight to the point with a tone of voice, which makes you want to shrink onto the floor.

"Nothing, I'm just having a bit of fun..." You try and come across as innocent, hopeful that it'll cut out some of the lecture, "Hows' London? I miss you!" You add.

"Cut the bullshit, Y/N," Leah scoffs and shakes her head. "Listen, just because I'm not there doesn't mean that you can still get away with stuff like this, yeah? I trusted you to go on this trip, you have a responsiblity to set an example, there's girls there younger than you and this is the way you act-- It needs to stop!"

There's something about her scolding that scares you, but you're not too sure about what it is yet. Maybe its' the firm scary facial expression, or the way her words' are just straight to the point, something makes you fear the blonde.

Maybe its' the fact that shes' your hero, she used to be the one youd' look up to and aspire to be like, so to be letting her down seems like the wrong thing to do right now.

Despite your inital fear, you still can't help but act like a troublemaker.

"I don't see what the big deal is though? I'm just having fun. It's harmless, Le," You shrug your shoulders and bite her lip.

Leahs' look continues to be firm, "Enough, Y/N. You promised you would be good and if you keep on causing trouble like you are then I'm going to take away your sweet privledges for a month," She threatens you, which just seems out right criminal. "And if you make Kims' job any harder, then I'll personally make sure you're on a leash next time."

"A... A month without sweets? And a leash?" Your eyes' widen in realisation that maybe you really do need to sharpen up on your behaviour, with the threat of no sweets on the table, you need to actually do as your told now.

"Yes. A whole month without sweets and a leash. Do you understand?" Leah continues with her firm words.

Surely she's just bluffing? Like she'd actually do that, you think.

"You can't do that," You whine in protest.

"I can and I will, because as long as you live under my roof, then you follow my rules," The blonde warns you, firmly. "Do you understand?"

"But Le, that's... that's not fair!" You still can't help but whine.

"Oh this is better than reality TV," Beth chimes in from the side of the camera, where the rest of the girls are still crowded around the phone.

"Beth," Lia nudges the blonde and rolls her eyes.

"What? It's true!" Beth exclaims, shrugging her shoulders.

"It's completely fair, Y/N. I want you to have fun out there in Melbourne with the girls, but not at the expense of the every one," Leah still stands firm on her words. "Behave yourself, or there will be concequences!"

"Fine, I'll try and be good," You sigh dramatically.

"That's all I'm asking for, please," The blonde softens slightly and nods. "I'll check in with Kim later to see how you're doing. Be good, alright?" She tells you.

"Yeah, I will," You reluctantly agree with the blonde, "Now can you go and give Kyra the same lecture, cos' its' not fair if I just get in trouble for this!"

"Oh don't worry, kid. Vivs' already on that one," Beth jokes, panning the camera around to where Vivs' stood off on the other side of the room giving a lecture through the phone to Kyra to where you can even hear the tailend of the conversation. "Having fun at whos' expense? That is no way to act!"

You can't but giggle and shrug your shoulders, "Okay well that makes me feel better at least," You murmer as you wave to the rest of the girls and pass the phone back to Kim.

Leah shakes her head in amusement at your care-free attitude, "Hang in there, Kim. She'll be better now, but if she gives you any more trouble then call me, alright?" She reassures her Captain,

"You got it. Thanks, Leah. I appreciate you talk to her," Kim smiles in agreement, bidding their goodbyes and ending the phone call. "Right, you. How about we go and find the rest of the girls?" She makes the suggestion.

"Yeah, I wanna go and find out how bad of a lecture Kyra got," You smirk mischeviously at your Captain before you both exit the lobby in search for your troublemaker partner. "Race you to the lifts! Last one there's a rotten egg!" You add.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S4

“I know this all seems bleak. And it feels like we’re all doomed, and therefore humanity is doomed.” I love that the scope of their problems change with each season

“With this team, there’s no problem we can’t solve.” “There is no problem we can’t create.” Duality of man (sort of)

“You know what I’m saying.” “Oh, I’m not part of this.” Michael’s not going to take any responsibility for Brent

I took a pause between watching S3 and S4 so I don’t remember Matt from Accounting but I’m assuming he was the guy who filed to be Thanos-snapped because he was Accountant of Weird Sex Stuff

I have never seen Manny Jacinto with such a scowl on his face throughout this show omg, I love the Jealousy Arc:

“I believe everything Chidi ever tells me because of his brain and how he looks like one of those owls that graduated from college.” God what I would give to be flattered by the Jason School of Compliments 

“Luckily, before I died, I pumped my face with six vials of juviderm [...] My ex-boyf is gonna be supes jeal.’” I know that John is meant to represent a specific Gossip Influencer personality but it does give me a bit of bone arsenic to watch him speak. Feels hateful LMAO

[Stanley from The Office voice] “That’s not what a hate crime is, Michael.” “Well, I hated it!”

“Are we still boyfriend/not a girlfriend?” Jason is new to relationships but he is trying ❤️

I know Linda the Boring Senior Citizen from Norway could’ve gone any number of directions, but I can’t say I was expecting her to knock four people to the ground and then jump into the sky

LINDA IS CONTINUING HER RAMPAGE IN THE AIR???? GIRL IS THIS ALL BECAUSE ELEANOR CALLED YOU “LINDS”

Update from 30 seconds later: It was the Shirtless Soulmate Gymbro Demon

Tahani did call this one!!

“So you’re saying, wanting to do something isn’t a good reason to immediately do it?” [Proudly] “Yeah.” “Man! I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.” DADDY MIICHAEL TO THE RESCUE AGAIN

The expressions that Janet and Eleanor are leveling at Brent. They are going through it 

“That’s what’s wrong with this country.” “What country?” This is truly what talking to people from the US is like LMAO

Ggkjghkjghg Brent thinking he needs to be in a Better Place than the Good Place. Oh my god

However, repeating right here that I just don’t know if I can believe a Good Place even exists, given everything that we’ve seen

“Perhaps leadership isn’t her forte.” A bold take considering Eleanor has only been leading for two days and Michael had to reboot y’all like 800 times

I think Eleanor’s crisis about being in charge is much more warranted than Team Humanity’s meeting about her failures

“You beat me in 3 months. ‘Okay, a fluke,’ I thought. You then beat me 800 more times.” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MICHAEL! AND YEAH THEY DID 😭💗

Michael raises an excellent point about humans with flaws being the ones to understand how best to help other humans with flaws become the best version of themselves

Also. Insane that in this manufactured society where there are Popcorn Rivers and People Can Fly that people are still commenting on how much Eleanor showers??? WHY WOULD PEOPLE NOT CONTINUOUSLY BE IN GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION ALWAYS IN THE AFTERLIFE?

Brent vouching him being good at keeping secrets by claiming he buried HR complaints (from experience, it doesn’t take much to have an HR that does absolutely fucking nothing to support their employees LOL)

“I’m so sorry to say this, but I can’t be in a relationship with you right now.” JASON TAKING A STEP BACK WHEN JANET MENTIONS HAVING SPACE 😭😭😭 HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND, I HATE THIS

“We have to hope that over time, Brent starts doing good things out of habit.” “Just like you.” KGJHKGJHGKJ I think it’s a bit more than habit, you made the decision to choose being good Eleanor!!!

Honestly I fully believe that Michael had a breakdown on Day 1, he’s been through a lot of stress the past several hundred years

Eleanor introducing Simone as Chidi’s soulmate like she and Chidi haven’t fallen in love (confidently, and without equivocation) hundreds of times ☹️

“I never actually fell in love with someone.” YEAH YOU DID CHIDI!!

“Why not treat them better, just in case they’re real?” Haven’t really talked about it thus far but it’s absolutely BANANAS that Simone’s response to thinking the afterlife isn’t real is to cut off people’s ponytails and push them into pools. Even Jason’s impulses aren’t so directly aimed at people in this way. What happened to ur me vs. us speech, girl!!!

Eleanor and Jason’s sad break-up solidarity high five:

“We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread.” Reintroduce Chidi to capitalism and have him work a minimum wage job

That might be high-grade dread though LMAO

Also I love this drives home that Eleanor specifically is part of what drove him to become a better person!

Fkhfkjfhfjh Eleanor, Michael and Jason planning how to gently torture Chidi while Tahani and Janet plan John’s perfect spa day. Seems like Chidi got the worse end of that stick:

“Would I like to use my time in heaven to audit a philosophy class? Mmm no.” You know what, for the first time: Fair point, John

“There were ants everywhere, but they were so helpful. They carried our wineglasses back and forth, and folded our napkins for us, it was so cute.” Call me a hater but if there were insects in my own personal experience of the afterlife I’d burst into tears

However. Good for the ants, that does sound cute ❤️ 

HAHAHAH JASON BEING UNLEASHED AS A STRESS BOMB ON CHIDI. THE BEGINNINGS (PART 802) OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

“While you were gallivanting around with your fancy friends, I lived in the real world, so I had bills to pay. I worked 16 hours a day, by myself, building a site with millions of readers.” John actually does make a reasonable observation to Tahani that there is not a level-playing field when it comes to the morality under capitalism and class division:

“But I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, and this is the universe getting back at me.” CHIDI IS SO NICE, IF ANYONE BELONGS IN THE GOOD PLACE IT’S HIM. HE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A PROMISE (HELP JASON) AND HIS INTEREST IN BEING HONEST AND GOOD 😭💘

“I made God cry?” I know this is because they view The Good Place as heaven but there’s something about Chidi calling the woman he loves God that just gets me right in the heart 💘💘💘💘💘:

Also Michael gently patting Eleanor’s back. Best Demon Dad!!

In Tahani’s defense of having been miserable and lonely with no real friends, she did make some Best Friends Forever eventually, they were just in the afterlife, and then on Earth

JKHKJHFKJHFFJB THE CUT TO JASON WATCHING THE MOTORCYCLE EXPLODE AND GO “NOT AGAIN!” BETWEEN ALL OF THESE EMOTIONAL SCENES

“I really am sorry for all the posts I wrote about you.” John is able to grow 💗 Good for him

Also I love how Tahani is often the one to demonstrate the moral core of this show to characters outside of the main group, which is that goodness comes, in many ways, from a love of other people

“I’m sorry your motorcycle blew up.” “That’s okay homie, that’s just what motorcycles do.” My parents when I wanted to get a motorcycle license

“Genuine human connection will be his course of study.” GO PROFESSOR TAHANI 

“Go get ‘em, Chippy.” Brent constantly saying Chidi’s (two syllable, very familar sounds to English speakers) first name wrong vs. Eleanor saying his last name wrong three seasons ago. Truly Eleanor’s Much More Icky Counterpart 

You know, of all the possible spies the Bad Place could send, Glenn is a good choice, he’s got a very passive aura and seems like he could use some friends

The return of Vicky aka Real Eleanor aka Fake Michael and the Michael suit I honestly completely forgot about after my post-S3 break

“Oh, I’m very upset about this development.” Don’t distrust ur Demon Dad. He’s nice!!!

“I’m a 6,000 ft. tall fire squid. I have tentacles. There’s teeth everywhere. I’m on fire, and my neck is long, and there’s a smell, and lots of juice.” Demon Dad is self-conscious about his friends seeing his previous body. ☹️ LET MICHAEL WEAR WHAT FEELS RIGHT

“I won’t just be Michael. I’ll be some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. Do you really want to be friends with something like that?” Michaelllllllll. Something something the mortifying ordeal of being known

Jason comforting Janet after her first accidental murder. I really hope they can find a situation that works for them

“Oh boy, is this really gonna suck.” Michael offering to literally destroy himself for the good of humanity. If this turns out not to be Michael at any point I will be SO UPSET, he is SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AND DEMON AND PERSON (SORT OF)

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT WAS BAD JANET AND JASON KNEW THIS NOT-A-GIRL WAS NOT HIS NOT-GIRL!!!!!

POOR JANET THOUGH ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

“I’m gonna go down there and I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, and I’m going to get Janet back!” YEAHHHHHHHH JASON

“Let’s go get our girl.” “Not a girl.” GOOOOOOO TEAM JASON AND MCIHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, wild that they’re sending Michael to the place where the Michael suit is, like that’s not going to immediately bite them in the ass in terms of keeping track of who they can trust

Michael just dropping that Tahani also has the context of her whole afterlife, offscreen. She deserves her narrative moments!!

“Can I have all my memories back again? I forgot most of them.” Me too, Jason. ALSO LFHKJFHKFH WOW

I think Jason who is infinitely capable of just taking on whatever moral values are in front of him. If he hadn’t grown up in Jacksonville I think he’d be fine 

“Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy, bad-girl sister-aunt.” I don’t know if this is all those Mommy-Sorry Tiktoks but this somehow feels more transgressive than the Derek’s earlier mommy-girlfriend comments

 [Chuckles] “But to be fair, I wasn’t designed for anything.” ME TOO, DEREK HAHAHA

“Even Derek has an important job. I’d like to be more useful.” Even Tahani has begun lampshading her own lack of narrative purpose this season lmao

SCREAM @ Michael being scared of being in the birthplace of evil (presumably, his own birthplace) while Jason is scared that he and Janet may not have their special connection. He is the perfect boyfriend, no notes

“I love a movie with gentle magic. Give me a time-travelling mailbox, or a mother-daughter body switch, or Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it.”

Me 🤝 John 

Loving stories with gentle magic in them

“What echoes of this former self await me here?” 

Jason 🤝 Michael 🤝 Me

Having a really hazy and unpleasant memory of high school

HAHAHAHAHA everyone having the most stressful days of their lives (Eleanor subject to Derek’s Single Father to the Neighbourhood Chaos, Tahani trying to wrangle the three morally questionable humans, Jason and Michael in the Bad Place and Janet being held prisoner) while Chidi gets to do a little “puzzle” given to him by His God-(Ex)-Girlfriend. Oh how the turntables

Lmao @ Shawn saying they went overboard on the cheekbones to acknowledge Jason’s incredibly beautiful face

Say what you will about Jason, he has a very practical kind of wisdom. Who else would think to remember an explosive device for every situation 

“I believed that we committed torture as a part of the moral balance of the universe. But I’ve learned that’s wrong. Humans are capable of self-improvement, and so are we. And down deep, Shawn knows this is true, too. I beg you, open your eyes to the truth.” A beautiful speech by Michael, slightly undermined by the demon he just exploded 

TWO demons he just exploded. Rest in pieces Vicky 

He did, however, solve the problem of the Michael suit

“I swear the production value of demon con gets better every year.” This feels like a meta nod to their increased SFX budget every subsequent season hahahaha 

Convinced the fact that Chidi took/takes so long to kiss Eleanor versus kissing Simone so easily is not just because of his ethical obligations but BECAUSE he loves her so much it is that much harder for him to make decision that might change their relationship 

Hahahaha, they spent so much money on SFX they couldn’t afford the location fees to shoot on a lake:

(You could also make the point that it’s supposed to look that way since it’s a simulation, but I’m pretty sure Chidi was rowing on an actual lake in S1. Maybe it was also a timing thing hahah)

“Plus, your parties aren’t pointless. They’re opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. You know, the thing we need them to do so we’re not all tortured forever?” Eleanor recognizing Tahani’s strengths as part of the group 💗

“But if we ever get through this, I want to learn how to do something meaningful.” Love that for Tahani 💖

“You’re not a demon anymore. You’re just a nice, weird, happy old dude.” Awwww Jason and Michael BFFs 4ever

JASONJANET BACK TOGETHER BAYBEEEEE:

Fkfjhfjhf this Michael Bad Janet storytime feels like a departure in energy after all the intensity of the last ep

Absolutely fucking obssessed with the Hottest Saviour of the Week, and according to this picture here’s the ongoing counts:

Eleanor: 10 (exclusively self-nominated)

Janet: 7

Tahani: 5 (one blocked by where Eleanor is standing but the background is in another shot)

Jason: 3

Michael: 0 (as it should be, no Demon Daddy objectification)

“Her name was Scarlett Pakistan, and she was the type of girl you couldn’t take in all at once, or you’d die.” UHKHFKJHFJHF BRENT TRULY REPRESENTING WHITE MEN WRITING BROWN WOMEN. Rough stuff, Tahani 

“That’s how I got my nickname, The Defendant.” I feel like this doesn’t quite match the energy of Donkey Doug or Pillboi

“Where does this hope come from man? This insane hope that people are worth the trouble?” From Michael’s heart, Bad Janet 💟

I’m gonna be real with you I forgot that no one knew Jason wasn’t Jianyu and I thought that John was having that dramatic reaction over seeing Chidi dance LMAO

Simone makes a very good point of not needing to tolerate racism and misogyny for the sake of kindness

“If this [golf advice of doing better on the next shot] ends up applying to any other aspect of your life later on, then cool.” Hahahahah Michael speaking the only language Brent can understand: Sports metaphors

Very expected that Brent was unable to handle the slightest bit of criticism, even as it directly relates to people he hurt WITH HIS BOOK LOL

“Why not be a bigger person and rise above it?” “I’ll tell you why. Because doing that sends a message that it’s okay to be treated this way. And it’s not okay to treat anyone that way.” Simone continues to make incredibly reasonable points

Chidi said: My fight, flight, freeze instinct does occasionally land on fight

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” MICHAEL FOR BEST AT UNDERSTANDING HUMANS AND MORALITY IN THE UNIVERSE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

Michael being better today than he was yesterday by letting Bad Janet go 😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE HIM

GJHGKJHGKJHG not Simone uncovering the entire plot of the neighbourhood hours before the experiment ends

“Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kinda my move.” Michael said: There’s only room for one anxiety disorder in this friendship, Eleanor

“You never told me about this, Ducky.” The demise of the Simone/Chidi relationship over their respective secret Good Place Experiment hidden professional endeavours

Simone, as a neurologist researcher, is perhaps the most difficult profession to have in this experiment because of course she can see science when she is right in front of it

“We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.” ROUGH BUT REAL 

You know what they say. When the going gets tough, the tough put on a magic show to distract the four people whose ignorance remains crucial to the fate of humanity:

Afjlkjflkjflkfj Jason coherently describing their Hail Mary and Prevent Defense strategy analogy. HE DOES LEARN

Brent 🤝 Jason

Only being able to understand the universe through sports metaphors 

“I respect your position.” “I respect yours.” “Look, I know everything’s really scary right now but I just have to say it. That was the most boring break-up I’ve ever seen.” Accurate but rude, John 

WHY IS CHIDI THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT THE INHERENT VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE? SIMONE, AGAIN, I ASK ABOUT YOUR ME VS. US SPEECH

“If there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s that you can ALWAYS blow up the same thing twice.” JASON, UR SO RIGHT BABY

Lowkey it is traumatizing for both Chidi and Eleanor to have someone they have loved pretending to be their eternal torturer (even if is half true)

It takes Chidi, the most ethical and empathetic person in the world, calling Brent a bad person for him to maybe consider stepping outside his own experiences to care about other people for half a second 

NOT THE EXPERIMENT ENDING MID-BRENT’S APOLOGY:

“Yes, and here’s a bottle of tequila.” [Cheerily] “Okay, let us know how it goes.” Michael knows the way to his surrogate daughter’s heart LMAO

“Oh man, are we gonna die again? We’ve died so many times. We’ve probably had like, 15 funerals by now.” Jason is right, this must really warp their sense of their own life

“You’re a choker, Michael. And you’re about to choke for the last time. Except for the eternity you’re going to spend in the Bad Place being choked by me, who will be doing the choking.” [Tearfully] “Well you’re glue!” 😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL

NOT THEM WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S-ING CHIDI SO HE CAN BE PART OF THE FUNERAL PARTIES

Also Eleanor’s explanation of his jacked physique coming from his anxiety. On brand LMAO 

Also also also the fact that Janet could DEFINITELY transport him by strength or teleport but she’s just watching them struggle HAHAHA

Not Brent somehow getting 1% worse than he was on Earth gkjhgjhgjh

The Weekend at Bernie’s vibes only increase. Chidi is impressively still

“I got born in the deep end of a pool, right after my mom did a cannonball.” 1) Can’t believe this is the first we’re hearing of Jason’s mum and 2) That tracks

“But despite it all, he was the most optimistic person I’ve ever met.” This is why I am in love with Jason

“That’s my Jason. A big colourful rainbow blob, stuffed inside a hot life-size action figure.” I love Janet explaining why she loves Jason. Also, now I want to be flattered by the Janet School of Compliments

Jason 🤝 Janet

Whipping out the best compliments in the world on the fly

So far, Jason’s poolside funeral is my favourite:

Michael proving that the Soul Squad actually made the people they care about better in tangible ways 🥺❤️‍🩹

“People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLL

“But what that number can’t tell you... is who he could’ve become tomorrow.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT’S A GOOD SHOW

“Tahani taught me that you can make a family, even if you never really had one. Jason taught me that I have value beyond what I do for other people. And Eleanor, there was a moment on Earth when all hope was lost, and I watched you have hope anyway.” JANETTTTTTTTTTT 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞

“I never felt quite so seen as when she saw me.” First ‘that’s gay, Tahani,’ of the season!!!!

HKJHRKJHKGJHKJGHJ THEY WON AND THE SOLUTION IS TO CANCEL EARTH? THIS IS WHY I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME BELIEVING THERE IS AN ACTUAL GOOD PLACE, IT JUST DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO GO THERE 

BAD JANET TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL’S FRIENDS ALWAYS COME THROUGH

“It’s not two of us, it’s all of us.” THE JANET REVOLUTION!!!!!!! RISE OF THE JANETS!!!

I love that they’re delivering on the Disco Janet joke they dropped a season ago LMAO

“You want to take the most indecisive man ever born, stuff him full of over 800 different versions of himself, and tell him he has, like what, 45 minutes to save humanity?” GO CHIDIIIIIIII

Not Chidi’s first research project being on why his parents shouldn’t get divorced. We have finally unlocked his childhood trauma

Chidi 🤝 Me

Parents who should be divorced perhaps but instead stayed married 

Chidi philosophizing his way out of a relationship is very on-brand

Awwwww I love these flashbacks of all the things we know about Chidi but with new added perspectives (more about why he and Alessandra broke up, the failure of his thesis, the way he makes decisions, the lead-up to him meeting Eleanor, Jason and Janet’s first wedding)

Sidenote: IS THAT DIGITAL GETDOWN I HEAR IN THE BACKGROUND!!! ITS THEIR SONG BAYBEE

“Where I’m from, most things blow up eventually. So I’ve learned when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down. If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.” Very solid life advice from Jason to Chidi

The way Chidi kept falling for Eleanor regardless of who his soulmate was, even despite his loyalty to the concept of soulmates 💗

 “Woof, that’s too much to put on an eight-year-old.” I will keep saying it: I know it’s not in my best interests to identify with Chidi... and yet

“Soulmates aren’t real, are they?” “Chidi, in all honesty, I don’t know. but I don’t think so.” MAYBE THE REAL SOULMATES WERE THE FRIENDS WE FOUND ALONG THE WAY

“You wake up every day and you solve [the puzzle of life] again.” CHIDIIIIIIII

HAHAHAHAHA CHIDI’S FIRST QUESTION AFTER WAKING UP BEING IF HE HAS BEEN ANNOYING THEM FOR 300 YEARS 

I AM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hahahahaa Chidi said: New timeline, new me, baybee. I am over my indecision anxiety now!!!!

Jason’s concern that eliminating humanity is a bummer is valid

Hahahahah Chidi and Eleanor asking the other if they want to get out of here tickles me

“Chidi should hook up with the judge to get us out of trouble. I’ve done that a bunch of times. It’s called a Jacksonville Plea Bargain.” 1) Someone please help Jason and the state of Florida 2) This statement made me curious to look up how many female judges there are in the Middle District of Florida (where Jacksonville is) purely to determine logically whether Jason hooked up with a man and the answer as of 2020 is 6 out of 14 are female (none self-identify as LGBTQ). So Jason could’ve reasonably gotten these plea deals “a bunch of times” by only by hooking up with women, actually! Sexuality math

But happy Pride Month to Jason, who, while his heart belongs to Janet, whenever he is in a new timeline is liable to propose to literally anyone who he enjoys talking to

“Shut up. Shut up. Hi. Shut up. I’m confident now.” Chidi’s energy is a bit all over the place in times of crisis lmao

"I don’t care if everyone loses, as long as you lose.” Shawn truly willing to cut off his nose (the current system of the afterlife) to spite his face (the four humans he’s been trying to torture for 300 years)

Disco Janet’s marbelized form being a mini disco ball is perfect 10/10 production choices

The Soul Squad offering too take on eternal torture so that the rest of humanity can have a normal, medium afterlife 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

LMAO @ JANET MAKING A TIMOTHY OLYPHANT TO GET THE JUDGE TO HEAR THEM OUT 

THE SYSTEM BEING THAT U KEEP GETTING A SHOT AT BEING A BETTER PERSON UNTIL U ACE IT 💗💗💗💗 ELEANOR, CHIDI, TAHANI, JASON AND MICHAEL, THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

“Then, what are we doing to their penises?” “Well, largely, ignoring them.” [Throws hands up in frustration] RIP the penis-bees

“Getting rebooted over and over again made me a better not-a-person than I’ve ever been. Humans should get the same opportunity.” YEAH JANET!!!

“Fighting you is the most fun I’ve ever had.” It’s almost Death Note-esque in the being consumed by targeting the other person so much you get attached. I guess Shawn is the Light in this situation. (Although L does engage in recreational torture)

"You have to read my file right now!” “What? I’m confused, is this a game? Is it a sex game, somehow?” LMAO and big hearts at Chidi, the guy who wanted all the world’s answers, being totally fine with whatever Eleanor has ever done, whether he gets to read it in her file or not (Eleanor is the answer ❤️)

LHFKJHKJHGKJGH VICKY AKA REAL ELEANOR AKA FAKE MICHAEL COMING BACK TO VOLUNTEER AS THE IN-BETWEEN PLACE’S FIRST ARCHITECT:

(Also Vicky’s right, she looks super hot, this is perfect lighting, outfit, makeup, everything)

SCREAMS at Chidi concluding based on every insane thing that Eleanor has ever done that actually she’s coped pretty well and she’s super interesting and it is he that’s too boring for her 😂 He is so funny 

HAHAHAHAHA I know she brought up this thread of looking up the sexuality of presidents earlier but: 

Me 🤝 Eleanor 

Constantly trying to assess everyone we read about (or watch) to see if they’re bisexual

“Are you saying... Janet might get bored of me?” Chidi has passed his eternal romantic dread onto Jason like a common cold

“Think of it as, flattening the penises of their heart.” “Oh! Now it makes sense.” Vicky Bad Place: Demon Educator 

“Once on Earth, I didn’t know something and I had to ask Alexa. I felt dirty.” HAHAHAHAHA

Me 🤝 Janet

Having a one-sided grudge with Alexa 

Poor Michael, his purpose for so long has been solving problems, he doesn’t know what to do without something to overcome (mood)

OMG JASON TRICKED CHIDI INTO TALKING HIMSELF OUT OF HIS ROMANTIC DREAD 💝 THAT’S MY MAN. STREET SMARTS!!!! 

It tickles me whenever they mention what they actually are underneath the skin suits. I hope someone has drawn Michael and Vicky having this workplace conversation as a Fire Squid and Acid Snake

“Turns out that saving every soul in the universe is worth a few points.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THEM!

Honestly all of these things considered, I still have trouble believing in the Good Place as they’ve previously described it, so I have no idea what these last couple episodes are going to be about

God I love these five people and not-people so much:

What, I wonder, would you do if you have a fear of heights, if the only way to go to the Good Place is via hot air balloon? 

“What if that’s some sort of demon alarm to alert the cops that I’m here?” THE HEAVEN COPS, MICHAEL? THERE ARE COPS IN HEAVEN? 

Also 

Me 🤝 Michael

Being uncomfortable in sacred places and assuming you’re going to be persecuted for a crime you didn’t know you committed

STOPPPP this is such a funny candy, I DO miss the energy I had when I was twelve:

Hahahaha, the fact that all the male philosophers are not in the Good Place. That tracks 

MICHAEL GETTING TO BE A GOOD PLACE ARCHITECT 🥺❤️ IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES, PLEASE BE REAL

“This room is filled some of the most interesting people that ever lived. Chat them up, learn about their lives, then meet back here so that we can make fun of them.” Eleanor’s first advice in the Good Place is not the most kind-spirited LMAO

“Now you are officially in charge of the Good Place [...] You’re the boss now. That was all legally binding, and we all quit, effective immediately.” I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICOUS LMAO

THIS IS WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE GOOD PLACE, IMMEDIATELY IT’S SASS AND TRICKERY LMAO

“You gotta help us, we are so screwed.” AHA!!! THE OTHER GOOD PLACE SHOE DROPS

“I would’ve killed for a vaccine. Any vaccine. It’s crazy that you guys just don’t like them now.” THE FACT THIS EP AIRED IN JANUARY OF 2020 LMAO. They really touched a timely nerve

Omggggg okay so we’re getting into the Good Place Problem: Being in infinite supply of experiences and desires, your brain atrophies?????

I guess this entire group of people has also been left unattended for 500 years which doesn’t help

“We need to find the Committee.” “The Committee is me. I am Committee. It me.” Me when I say ‘we’ about my job as if I am not literally the only person in my department:

I honestly don’t know if I buy into the idea that death and finite experience is the only thing that gives life meaning. I think the idea of having some agency in whether or not you continue your afterlife makes sense. But the implication you cannot sustain a life based on happiness, or that struggle is what gives people personhood, doesn’t sit right with me. Personhood is an act of love for yourself and others

“And when you’re ready, walk through one last door and be at peace.” I DO like that this acknowledges that for some people, paradise is not infinite consciousness but can also be found in letting go of consciousness

Hypatia said: Maybe the real Good Place was the friends we found along the way (she was right)

“I think that’s what the Good Place is. It’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.” Chidi said: I second that, Hypatia

[Sarcastically but sweetly, after Eleanor jokingly threatens to leave] “I’ll miss you.” CHIDIIIIIIIIII

OMG TEACHING ETHICS LESSONS IN THE GOOD PLACE, BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE BETTER THAN THEY WERE THE DAY BEFORE ❤️

“Never not excited about frogs, that guy.” ME TOO JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN AKA BURT HUMMEL, FROG DESK SOLIDARITY

“At one point, hundreds of Bearimys ago, I turned off my ability to know what time it is anywhere in the universe when you and I are together.” JANET UR SO ROMANTIC, JASONJANET X INFINITY

Awwww it tracks that Jason would be the first person to be certain his needs were met. But that’s so complicated when your partner is an infinite being like Janet!!! Like what are the mechanics of dealing with a loss that is the cessation of someone who matters most to you

Shout-out to Young Doug Forcett, who is firmly done with his pisswater era

“I really am okay. I promise.” “Will you come talk to me if you’re not?” “Always.” Michaellll 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Janet!!!!

“I’m scared Janet’s gonna forget me. Here falling in love with someone else, I’d be fine with that. Like if Jason Momoa or Lara Croft, Tomb Raider gets in, and Janet’s like, ‘That’s what up,’ totally cool! But her forgetting me would be sad.” JASONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

A LOCKET SO JANET CAN ALWAYS HAVE A PART OF JASON WITH HER, I AM SO SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:

“To me, remembering moments with you is the same as living them.” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

“Can you just remember the happy times and forget the bad stuff?” “There was no bad stuff. It was all good.” I AM IN TEARSSSSS 

I love Tahani being in her Crafty Girl Afterlife Era

Tahani and Kamilah representing the absolute flabbergastedness one experiences when a parent admits a wrongdoing or has a learning experience:

Tahani having a special last goodbye with her best friends even after healing all of the other relationships, because the Soul Squad/Team Cockroach/Team Humanity is her first and chosen family 😭❤️

“I admire you so very much. Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, not to mention... you have a rockin’ bod.” OH HOW THE TURN TABLES, TAHANI!!!! 

“I want to learn to do what you do, Michael. I want to be an architect, design afterlives.” MY GIRL TAHANI GETTING HER PURPOSE IN LIFE

“I hope you don’t mind if I brag about knowing you.” “Name dropping is a little gauche, Michael, but do as you must.” Tahaniiiiii. I do love how her story is wrapping up

I enjoy that Uzo gets to see Chidi post-his 800-Universe-Decision-Making-Immersion-Therapy. 

Eleanor trying her hardest to keep Chidi in the afterlife even though he’s almost done 😭 Also the pictures of the four humans in Michael’s office

“If you leave, then I’m alone here.” AHHHH ELEANOR. They’ve really turned the afterlife into Earth Lite

“Can we eat words? Because I’ve asked Janet about this and—” Chidi said: One day an academic rival told me I’d eat my words and it’s been my dream ever since

Eleanor loving Chidi enough to let him go vs. Chidi loving Eleanor enough to hold in for several bearimys that he has been ready to leave 💔

CHIDI SAYING GOODBYE WITH A SEXY CALENDAR. HE KNOWS THE LOVE OF HIS (AFTER)LIFE:

SCREAM JASON WAITING FOR JANET TO COME BACK TO THE FOREST FOR A THOUSAND BEARIMYS. THANK YOU FOR IMMEDIATELY HEALING THE WOUND OF CHIDI LEAVING HAHAHAHAA

“I sort of just sat quietly and let my mind drift away, thought about you and the infinity of the universe.” “Kind of like a monk.” JANET HAS BEEN WAITING OVER 4 WHOLE SEASONS TO MAKE THIS JOKE HAHAHAHA

ALSO HOW COULD JANET, WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, NOT KNOW THAT JASON WAS STILL AROUND

Dhkjfhjkfhfkjh it would be very weird if Eleanor’s actual unfinished business was Mindy St. Claire of the Medium Place

Update from 1 minute later: It was not 

Tahani saying, “As I neither live nor breathe,” is a fun little line

Michael being unable to cope without something productive to fill his time ghjkghgkjhg. Anxiety icon 

“I’m gonna be...” “A real boy, Pinocchio.” MICHAEL GETS TO BE HUMAN? I LOVE THAT FOR HIMMMMM ❤️‍🩹

“I won’t exactly know what’s going to happen after I die. Nothing more human that that. Besides texting people that you’re five minutes away when you haven’t even left the house.” How many Bearimys does it take for us to evolve past phones hahahahaha

Does mean that Eleanor will be in charge of The Good Place?? White women dominating the non-profit industry strike again (I kid)

MICHAEL GIVING JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN A REAL FROG!!!! I LOOOOVE HIM

Kinda wild that Michael starts his human life at like, what, age 50? That’s like 30-40 years if he’s lucky. Why doesn’t he get to start as a baby? Not consistent enough?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL NAMING HIS DOG AFTER JASON:

“I hate to see you walk through the final door at the edge of existence, but I love to watch you leave.” ICONIC GOODBYES FROM JANET AND ELEANOR, ONE OF THE STRONGEST DYNAMICS IN THE SHOW

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL’S EARTH NAME BEING MICHAEL REALMAN

I truly wondered how this show would end and I guess the glowing embers of Eleanor’s last bit of existence blessing Michael with a Coyote Joe’s card while he says to a good samaritan, his friends, and by extension the audience, “Take it sleazy,” is as good a way as any! 

Final thoughts: I really do love the way this show is written, how everything is intentional, how it’s so focused on love and connection and growth, and how each season manages to engage you with a different question. It’s interesting how, although they often use Heaven as a point of reference, this ending was a bit more Hindu/Buddhist in its leanings (i.e. liberation from physical incarnation/rebirth—and in the sense their testing system as that reincarnation cycle—through the accumulation of positive karma or liberation from desire). Ironically, even as someone who is Hindu, I still do think personhood is an act of love, and I feel like that ‘love for love’s sake,’ idea was a little lost in these final few episodes. But all the same, going into it this was my favourite show (even having only seen 2 seasons) and it still is. It’s a good show!!!! I love every character, and I feel satisfied with their stories! 

[dilfbane]

Your Weeping(Your Need For His Touch)

Summary: When things go south on a mission, you have to confront more than just the sketchy town, cartoon villains, and one-bed hotel room you’re forced to share with Loki. You have to come to terms with not only the consequences of being captured, but also the God of Mischief’s feelings for you - Because for all that he might be an asshole, sometimes, he really does have a heart. Written for the Picture Is Worth A 1,000 Words 6k Follower Writing Challenge by @startrekkingaroundasgard 

Pairing: Loki/(Female)Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries and medical treatment, as well as discussions of the inevitable mindset around sacrificing oneself for the mission that I feel like being part of the Avengers would entail. Also swearing, because at its core, this story started out as a bit of a crack! fic. 

Word Count: 7.8k. 

A/N: So apparently when I have mental breakdowns they result in me writing crack-fic that takes a 180 veer into angst and fluff for absolutely no reason. For the sake of the crack-fic, in this timeline Loki was forced to help the Avengers take down bad guys directly after the end of the first Avengers movie, so… Is that a confusing plot hole I didn’t know how to account for except by making this AU? Maybe. Did I do it anyway?…. Yeah. This really was meant to be a crack-fic about Loki and the reader confessing their feelings set in the bizarre world of meme culture, I didn’t realize there were going to be feels in it until it was three in the morning and all of a sudden this happened. That being said, your girl went there, so enjoy! 

“Oh, shit,” You say, as you take in the grimy hotel room. The walls all smeared in what looks like dried blood, the putrid smell of rotten eggs, a crack-screened television with a fine dusting of some suspiciously white powder. And, of course, “There’s one bed.” 

“Hmm?” Asks Loki, turning towards you, briefly, from unpacking. He had dumped his suitcase(Magically plucked out of a chaotic liminal space) unceremoniously on the bed’s scratching, pilling coverlet without so much as a second glance at the rest of the room. And why do you need a suitcase, anyways?? You wonder. It isn’t like we’re planning to be here that long. In fact, you hoped with every fiber of your being that you’d be here for as little time as possible, because this town might actually be the sketchiest place you’ve ever seen in your life; no small feat, for a bona-fide member of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

You’ve kicked alien ass on a mutated purple Mongolian death-worm three thousand feet over New York City. You’ve run reconnaissance to rescue debatably-magical items sequestered away in an ancient cave labyrinth plastered in paintings and untranslatable runes, gunfire and what could only be described as the baying of hellhounds in the near distance. You’ve fist-fought a gigantic hive-mind robot in a field of artificially sentient feral steel suits - You’ve even survived Tony’s parties. 

Yet none of those scenarios hold a candle to this fucking town. 

And Loki, the asshat, seems utterly, competently - no, maniacally - unfazed. 

“There’s one bed,” You repeat, into the air. 

“Ah,” Says Loki, straightening. 

“You don’t see that problem with that?!” 

“Should I?” He asks you, walking across the room in long, graceful strides to stand in front of you. He wears the same expression he always wears, amused and indifferent, but this time with the addition of a single, elegantly-arched eyebrow. You drop your head, refusing to meet his somewhat-curious gaze. It physically hurts, how attractive Loki is. Not for the first time, you curse whatever god decided that you and him would once again be mission partners - in this case, you belatedly realize, and choke back a thick laugh, said god is, unsurprisingly, Thor. 

If you survive this, you make a note to beat his head in with Mjolnir. As it is, you are here in this room with Loki, with perhaps twenty IPP agents and a reckless poisoner dogging your every move, and there’s a high chance that you won’t live long enough to navigate whatever the hell sleeping with your crush-who-has-murdered-men. Ok, so ‘murdered men’ isn’t entirely accurate. More like ‘caused the murder of men inadvertently through his schemes’. It doesn’t seem to make much of a difference, right now. 

And what about Loki? He is still staring you down, like you’re some wind up toy moments away from going off. Funny, that, you think. If ever there were a time to not have a mental breakdown, it would be here, with him. You’ve crossed a lot of moral lines in your life, but you will be damned if you let Loki Laufeysson see you cry. Loki is graceful. Composed. Sarcastic. Lithe. Rolls his eyes at almost every statement that comes out of somebody’s mouth. But he is, also, beautiful. Shockingly comforting, in his own nihilistic way. You don’t know what it says about you that you find comfort in statements like, Try not to die, you know that I hate funerals. Part of you - most of you - doesn’t want to. But it gives you strength, somehow, to shrug off the day and ground your flailing mind in evading Loki’s calculated manipulation. I won’t show you my weakness, you think to yourself. It’s not enough, but it’s a start. 

“No,” You tell him - too quickly, he’ll pick up on that - “You’re right, you shouldn’t. It’s fine. We have - a lot to deal with, is all.” 

Loki nods, seemingly accepting your answer, but his eyes are still narrowed, watching you like he’s calling your bluff. You talk right past that look - have to, to keep yourself sane, to not think about the one bed that looms large over this entire conversation. It doesn’t even look like a comfortable bed. 

“We have two days,” You say, to stop yourself thinking of it. And, also, to talk your way through your disarmingly disjointed thoughts. Loki nods. It would really help if you said something, you think. Swallow the thought, hot and thick, down your throat. What’s the point of a mission partner if you can’t even soundboard off them? “The Pink Cobra could strike anyone, anytime. The IPP is planning something in New York - “ 

“Isn’t everyone, these days, planning something in New York?” 

He sounds regretful, and for half a second you want to offer him the reassurance that his very presence offers you. But you are sure he doesn’t know what he does to you - with his words, with the sidelong glances that you’ve felt linger on your form far too long in the heat of a fight. If you didn’t know any better, you would say Loki worries about you. 

“We have to shut him down,” You say. Focus on the Pink Cobra, because honestly, that’s easier. “Find out where he manufactures. Not get poisoned,” You add, at the end. 

“Yes,” Loki says, tone dripping with sarcasm, “We should certainly try not to get ourselves killed. Failing that, I suppose, we can at least request that no one in H.Y.D.R.A gets autopsy access.” 

“Loki?” You ask. Rhetorically. “You’re not helping.” 

He smirks at you, then. He knows. 

“What do you propose that we do then?” He asks, taking a step towards you, getting so close that you can feel his hot breath. “About the Pink Cobra?” 

“Find him.” You say, fumbling, blush rising high on your cheeks. 

Tonight? 

One bed? 

You are screwed. 

                                                             ***

When you were a kid - think really little, Capri Sun pouches and still believing that true love wasn’t complicated - your father told you that every story needed a good supervillain. You aren’t sure if the Pink Cobra counts as a good supervillain, but he’s the least confusing one that you have to deal with - and, as far as villains go, a fine enough challenge to face. He’s like a madman out of some high fantasy novel, with dark eyes and a sable-sewn cloak and a penchant for poisoning. He is adept in all the arts of the woman’s murder; he has a keen grasp on the side-effects of arsenic and camphor and tansy and cyanide and strychnine. He’s been found to have dropped crystal phials filled with belladonna and ricin while fleeing a scene. If all else fails, he’s more than practiced with daggers. 

In other words, he’s the kind of villain that none of you, with your flying suits and telekinesis and super-strength, are anywhere near prepared to waylay. 

The plan, as far as team Avengers is concerned, is easy: 

You and Loki. This town, where the webs of his manufacturing production and the few glimpses of information that Thor has totally legally excavated out of his captured minions has led to. Two days until some undefined grand attack bears down on the city you live in. Two days to find the Pink Cobra and kill him. The more time passes with no headway, the more you think that this is an impossible task, but you know what Tony would say. We have our best minds on it. 

The thing is, you aren’t sure that that’s true. The minds that have been set to this task are you and the God of Lies. It’s hardly the best they could have come up with, considering your track records. Actually, you take that back - Loki was a good choice for this mission, because, not three hours after arriving in this hellhole of a city, he seems to have somehow developed the ability to read minds. More specifically, yours. And that could prove stunningly useful. 

The scene, as it stands: Loki, sprawled across the lumpy bed, three pairs of crisp white shirts, a plaid scarf, and a full set of Asgardian battle armor neatly hung in the mothball-infested closet, flicking through channels on the grain, cracked television with an apathetic expression and one arm thrown haphazardly over bent leg. Propped up in such a way that he could jump or spin or parry at a moment’s notice, yet perfectly, devastatingly languid, leafing through Nick Fury’s dossier on the Pink Cobra. He looks at you like a god, you think, and then remember. He is one. 

You, on the floor, because on top of all the other things this hotel doesn’t have, like two beds, there isn’t anything even resembling a desk, shifting through a glowing, holographed file archive from headquarters that barely runs on your severely outdated laptop. It’s a point of pride to you, keeping the laptop - not because it’s good, but because it’s survived five years of being an Avenger, which is something not even all the Avengers can claim to have done. You’re also fairly certain that Tony’s attempts to update the firmware had infested it with some sort of renegade virus. Elevated above your screen, the files are split into two groups, the sum total of everything that you know about both of the groups that are avidly trying to kill you. 

There’s the wealth of information containing the Pink Cobra’s poisoning sprees, but those aren’t the files that interest you, and you know that Loki’s not much interested in them either. That honor falls to the fanatics at the IPP, the Imminently Predictable Psyops organization, which you know even less about than you do about the Pink Cobra, chief among which the fact that they need a new name. Imminently Predictable Psyops?, Tony had said, when you’d finally apprehended one of their proxies. What do they think this is? Some type of ARG? 

What you’ve gleaned, from months worth of studying the network, is that they operate as a sort of cringe-oriented death cult intent on ‘reshaping the universe through meme agents’. They’d been on S.H.I.E.L.D’s radar for a long time - upwards of a year - before anyone at team base learned they existed - which, you can almost hear Loki saying, was a failure in the extreme. Currently, it was your job to obsessively worry over whether they were going to send ‘meme agents’ to bust through the door of your seedy hotel room and off you both. You hated - truly loathed - how casually Loki was taking it all. 

He’s acting like nothing was wrong with this situation, when, in fact, you’re ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure that this night will end up with one or both of you dead. It is, to say the least, disconcerting. 

Kill switch, the holograph files read. Cross-referential Neil Cicierega acoustic weaponry. Your mind sees the words, but doesn’t comprehend them, and you run a hand up to rub at your bleary eyes with annoyance. You risk a glance upwards; on the bed, Loki scans page after page after page with disinterested nonchalance, punctuating the flipping over of each document with a noncommittal hum; as if to say, I understand you. As it to say, This could be worse. You try to slip into that mindset. Certainly, things could be worse. 

Actually, though? Not really. 

Because, for all the world, the holo-file in front of you just said ‘Pepe The Frog Chaos Banking Laser Initiative’. 

“What the fuck does that even mean?!” 

“Sorry?” 

You whip your head around. Loki, raising an eyebrow. Damn that - perfect - eyebrow. 

“Sorry,” You echo back at him, rubbing your eyes again, perversely glad for the break, even if it is this awkward. “I … said that out loud, didn’t I?” 

“Marginally,” He tells you. “Yes.” 

“Sorry,” You - well, it’s not a whine, not exactly. You’re tired, and there’s no way you’re going to sleep tonight, so you feel like your tone’s justified. “I didn’t mean to do that. I think I’m just - this is. Completely nonsensical.” 

“Show me?” He asks, and you snort. He could totally just look up, but - 

“Do you have a P.h.d in memes?” You ask him, and, before he can answer, “Because unless you have a P.h.d in memes, I don’t think you’ll be able to help.” 

“You’d be surprised,” Loki says. Vaults over the bed with the speed and grace of a panther, filling the air with a cringing wheeze as the rusty springs bend underneath him, and landing in front of the holo-file, pushing you aside slightly to get a better view. When his fingers brush against your side, cool and firm, you flinch. 

“Tired,” You offer, when he shoots you a momentarily concerned look. “Just. Need to sleep, later, I think.” 

But Loki is already scanning the file, and when he looks up, not five seconds later, you want to hit somebody. Preferably, you think, him. 

“I would assume,” Loki says, “That they’re using time travel in order to obtain and store monetary value by way of a Pepe-the-frog inspired laser array.” 

“Oh,” You say. You blink once. Blink twice. Still have no idea what that means. “Right.” 

“Do you not know your memes, love?” He asks you, smirking. And oh, if you don’t feel things. 

“I don’t go on the internet, much,” You tell him. “Too busy, you know, trying not to get killed.”

 Loki shrugs. Sidles away from the file. The groan and squeak of those springs tells you he’s back on the bed, giving you some well-needed space, but you can’t bring yourself to look. 

“You can sleep,” He says, “If you want.” 

“Ha!” You yelp/choke/embarrassingly bleat out into the room’s stale silence. Underneath the rotten eggs, you catch a whiff of bong-water. “No.” 

“There’s a bed,” Loki says, cocking his head pointedly and patting the lumpy covers. 

“Yeah, that’s - kind of the problem.” 

“Why?” He asks you. 

“You - really?” 

“I was only asking,” Says Loki, re-focusing his attention on whichever Pink Cobra document’s next in the folder. “If you aren’t comfortable telling me - I merely thought, seeing as you were tired, you might take this opportunity to rest.” 

“Yeah,” You  tell him, “Of course, that’s - nice of you.” 

It comes out stilted. Patently off. If he notices, he doesn’t say. 

“Are you going to - um. Do you need help, with the rest? The ones I have seem kind of hopeless. I mean,” You say, when he doesn’t look up, “I don’t think that we have to worry about getting demolished by trans-dimensional Agarthian wormholes.” 

“Of course not,”” Loki says, scoffing and incredulous, gaze, you are sure, on his page. “If they wanted to kill us, they’d send someone with a gun.” 

In reality, it’s several someones. 

                                                             ***

“You jinxed it,” Is the first thing you tell him, when the men leave you. They’ve thrown you into a one-room warehouse, rickety shelves stacked with cartoonish tubs of green goop and mildewing boxes filled with grenades and machine guns and what appears, at second-glance, to be twelve-fingered latex gloves. You’re tied wrist to wrist, ankle to ankle, and your throat feels uncharacteristically parched. Fear, you tell yourself. Apprehension. “Can’t you just - use your seidr to magic us out of this?” 

If you could see him - which you can’t, because you’ve been tied back to back - you’d swear that Loki was glaring. 

“Do you - do you have a plan?” You ask, after a moment. 

“I’m working on it,” He says. 

“That’s all?” You say. “We were dragged out of our drug-dealer’s hotel room by a bunch of robed men with guns and the only thing you have to say is ‘I’m working on it?’” 

“I’d get it done faster,” Says Loki, “If you wouldn’t interrupt me.” 

“Ok,” You tell him, “No interrupting you. Got it. That’s - Alright.” 

Unfortunately, not interrupting him is easier said than done, because without the sound of your voice, you are left to your thoughts. 

The men had broken in nearly immediately after Loki’s glib, sardonic retort to your worries, shooting the glass out of the room’s already half-smashed-in window and kicking the door in simultaneously. A bit much, isn’t it?, Loki’d asked, and you had wanted to smack yourself on the forehead. Really not the time, you had hissed, but Loki hadn’t seemed to hear you. Do you do this with everyone they send you to assassinate?, he had asked, instead. The men had been dressed in long, billowing cloaks of bright red, embroidered with orange snakes framing a picture of Beaker from the muppets with early 2000’s emo hair. Chaotic meme agents, you had thought to yourself. So that’s what they’re supposed to look like. 

You hadn’t picked up, until now, on the snakes. 

“They’re working together,” You say, when you can’t stand the playback of Loki being disarmed after spinning and tossing his silver daggers at the men, of the men kneeing him in the balls and twisting your arms behind your back, holding a gun to your head to stop you from trying to fight. Waking up in the back of a van that smelled like microwaved fish. Being tossed like garbage onto the floor of the warehouse, painted in bruises and cuts from the small pieces of glass that had dug their way into your skin. “The IPP and the Pink Cobra.” 

“Obviously,” Loki says. Sharply. 

“Did Tony not -“ 

“Stark,” Loki practically growls, and, ok, you’re not losing it but that did make you jump in your skin, “Is an idiot. He wouldn’t know how to connect the dots if they were presented to him in a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode.” 

“That’s - You had that on Asgard?” You ask him, momentarily distracted. You wish that you could see Loki’s face, and are very glad that you can’t. 

“That isn’t the point,” Loki says. 

“I know,” You tell him. You’re scared that your voice is trembling. Scared that he can tell, even though he’s not facing you, how badly your fingers are shaking. Scared that he knows your worst, biggest secret - 

That, despite being an Avenger, you are anxious. That, despite him being Loki, despite him being here, and wonderfully, infuriatingly himself, he cannot help you, this time. 

You are going to die, covered in cuts and abrasions, on the floor of a meme network’s headquarters, at three a.m in the morning. They are going to come in with umbrellas that shoot poison darts or the ex-presidents Point Break masks and mow you down, and Loki has no fucking plan. You feel the ropes tighten where they’re knotted, itchy and fierce, and you have to fight to keep yourself from whining in terror and nerves. Whining isn’t what Loki needs right now. Whining’s not going to save you. 

What is going to save you, you try and remind yourself, is Loki. If you can shut up. If you can let him decipher what needs to be done. If he can figure out some way to do it before the blowtorch-wielding robed vigilantes or some disincarnate meme god comes back and draws their electronically-sharpened fingernails across your throat hard enough to split skin and sinew, send waves of blood down the front of your shirt like a river of sweet, thick red honey and toss your corpse in a ditch by a highway and - 

“Y/N?” It is foggy, barely-heard. Posh. “Y/N!” Louder, this time. There are fingers on your wrist, bent backwards to grip you. Squeezing, insistent and there. “Breathe.” 

Fuck, you think. You’d started to hyperventilate. To shake, with a full-body tremor that forecasts a great, unstoppable wave of sobbing panic. And Loki had noticed. “I need you to trust me,” He says. “Trust me to get us out of this. Can you do that for me, darling?” 

He has never called you darling before, but God how you’ve wanted him to. You feel like you’re being stabbed in the heart - because there is no way he means it, no way that this is anything other than a desperate and cruel attempt to get you to calm down. Something that belies how obvious you are. How needy you are. How pathetic. And yet - 

And yet, he doesn’t say it meanly. He speaks like he cares about you, and in the face of your impending death, you want to think Loki cares. You’d let him say anything, do anything to you, right now. More than that, though, more than any of that - as you think back to meeting him, to your blossoming late-night friendship and twitchy banter and the quiet moments you’ve shared with him in-between battles - 

“I trust you, Loki,” You tell him, and feel your breath quiet in you. Feel yourself growing still and calm with the certainty that Loki will do as he’s said. 

That you will survive this. 

That -

“Good,” Loki says. Not relieved, but determined. Leaving you no room to argue. 

“So what do we do?” You ask him. 

“Nothing,” Says Loki, and you can hear his wide grin. 

“Nothing?” You ask him, gawking.

 “Nothing,” Says Loki. He gives your hand a tight squeeze. 

And then the Pink Cobra walks in. 

                                                             ***

This will end badly, you think. It’s about the only thing that you can think, preoccupied as you are with - 

It might be easier not to - 

Fuck. 

The thing is - and you really do try not to move, not to groan, not to scream - the thing is, you thought that when Loki said he had a plan, that said plan wouldn’t involve you being collateral damage for a LARP-er who’d most likely broken out of an asylum. I wish that we could be back in that shitty one-bed hotel room, you think to yourself, and - alright, not the best timing, but it rips a laugh out of you, spiraling and unhinged, before you feel the Pink Cobra, resplendent in coral cloak and villainous swagger, slug you one in the jaw. It hurts worse than you’d thought it would - you’ve never really gotten injured on missions, you’re usually good at talking yourself out of things, which is why the Avengers keep you around. You can speak any language, as long as you’ve heard it once, and your customary daily awkwardness can shift into persuasion like flicking a light-switch on. 

Usually, though, you had an opportunity to speak, and weren’t rendered speechless by - 

Loki, if you’re being honest. How much you want to kiss him. How much of an asshole he is. Trust me, he’d asked you. Can you do that for me? The Pink Cobra’s grip is sharp and bruising on your side; he’s slipped his fingers up your shirt and is pressing the point on your side that threatens to make your knees buckle, making bile rise up in your throat, driving you wild with the aching need to flee. He has one hand clasped over your mouth, now that you’ve quieted, and you can feel something - pain, and a pill - pressed snugly into his palm. He will force it down you, you know, if Loki so much as sighs wrong. 

You’ll never trust him again. 

You wish that you knew what the time was. If you end up dying at 4:20, you’re going to throw fists with somebody in hell. 

You wish, also, for aspirin. Avengers training has left you woefully unprepared for the reality of getting punched in the face. You can already feel your jaw starting to swell, taste an egregious amount of blood. You’re pretty sure that the force of the blow knocked a tooth out. 

What strikes fear into you, though - a fear somehow deeper than the absolutely bone-chilling, blood-curdling knowledge of what the Pink Cobra might do to you - is the look you’d seen on Loki’s face in the seconds after he’d grabbed you, before it fell into practiced, amused apathy. He’d gone white, and his eyes had blown wide. His fingers had spasmed with anger. 

He’d looked as scared as you feel. 

And you have no idea why. 

It isn’t like you’re anyone special. Not any more than the rest of the team. Less so than most of them. You aren’t a god, like Loki and Thor are. You don’t have stealth-assassin training, like Bucky, or super-strength like Steve. You can’t seamlessly pilot mechanical suits over the New York skyline like Tony, or use a crossbow like Clint, or beat thirty people in single-hand combat like Nat, or change into a nitro-fueled rage machine like Bruce. 

You can’t do anything, much. 

Except, apparently, die.

You squeeze your eyes shut, not letting yourself look at him. You won’t let Loki’s disinterested face be the last thing that you see. It makes the Pink Cobra’s words all the worse, when he speaks. His voice is dark and sick and timbered, and you feel maggots crawling over your skin as he slots you closer to his body, tightening his already painful grip on you so that you can’t move even an inch away from his tensed, coiled muscles. 

“So,” He says, “You are superheroes? How long did it take me, to apprehend you? Ah - three and a half hours? Tell your boss-man, do better next time.” 

“I’ll pass it along,” Loki says. His voice sounds different. You can’t place why. Still won’t look. 

“You won’t,” The Pink Cobra says. You can feel his shoulders rise, then fall. Feel him smirk. You love Loki’s smirk - secretly delight in drawing it from him, sometimes - but the Pink Cobra’s only fills you with yet more terror. You’ve pursed your lips tightly shut against the intrusion of his hand, but when Loki speaks he forces your bruised, bleeding jaw open and shoves the pill into your mouth. The pain of your injury tears through you like white lightning and you thrash, trying to escape. A keening sound claws its way out of you, fevered and anguished, and you feel your hands, still bound up in ropes, trying in vain to push off and away. The man behind you sighs, and then aims a swift kick at the back of your knees, which sends you down before you can so much as yelp. Your knees hit the floor, and he’s holding you by your hair now, twisting it so hard that you’re almost sure he’ll scalp you. He’s pulled something - too big to be be a knife, some kind of shortsword?! - Out from beneath his cloak, and is pressing it up against the column of your throat. You feel the weight of the capsule between your teeth heavily now, and realize what it means in the split-second before the Pink Cobra bends and whispers, Your choice; stale and rancid into the shell of your ear. 

Next, he addresses Loki. 

“You’ll be wanting to know what our plan is,” He says. Our, you think. We were right. “Hmm? I know how you people are. Always wanting to know. Tell me this, Mischief Man. What will I get, if I tell you? What price are you willing to pay?” 

You know what this is. You know it like the ache in your heart when Loki brushes you off. Like the safety you feel in his arms. You open your eyes. Take in Loki’s face - he’s trying to hide, but you know, you know how he feels. You know what he’s going to choose. 

And you know that you can’t let him choose it. 

“You’ll let her go,” Loki asks, “If we let you leave here?” 

“The thing could be managed.” 

No, you think. No, Loki, don’t! Whatever the Pink Cobra’s going to do, whatever the IPP’s planning, knowing’s worth more than your life. 

“One thing I want to know,” Loki says. He’s twirling a knife of his own, a slim silver number he keeps on him at all times, and you feel the blade on your own throat start to dig in - not enough to draw blood, but enough for you to feel it. The threat of it. The promise of it, and the coldness of the gleaming metal. “You and the IPP? How does it fit?” 

“You want information from me?” The Pink Cobra asks. Lets his blade bite you, just barely, and the strength it takes for you not to scream is more strength then you’d known you possess. 

“Yes,” Says Loki. “It’s not like I’m asking for much.”

He meets your gaze. You meet his. You hope that he cannot read it. His eyes are so worried, so desperate, you nearly break down. 

“I suppose,” The Pink Cobra says, “That you’ve earned it. Getting here - getting this far - it must have been no easy task. Fine. There is no Imminently Predictable Psyops organization. They were a - what do you call it? Red herring? A scent of blood for the shark.” 

“You fabricated them,” Loki says. “Why would you fabricate them?” 

He is losing his composure, you can tell. You will never be ready for this. He will never be ready for this. You hope that he will forgive you, and you know that he never will, and you swallow the pill in your mouth. 

“Because it was fun,” The Pink Cobra says. 

And then your body knows pain. 

                                                             ***

“He didn’t think I would do it,” You say. Your mouth feels thick, clotted with blood and shock, and your body is one raw, gaping wound, but the giddy feeling of victory has begun to course through your veins. Pure, unfiltered adrenaline. You had waited for the moment of death to come, and it hadn’t. The pill is fake, your mind had screamed. But there’d been one thing left, that might work. You had breathed as slowly as you possibly could, forced every muscle of your scared, writhing body into single-minded limpness, rolled your eyes backwards into your head,  drew one last breath in, and fallen. Twitched, for a few seconds, like a rag-doll. Then made yourself still. 

Loki had slit the Pink Cobra ear to ear, beaten him within an inch of his life as he bled out, screaming like a man deranged. He’d left him a wet, bloody mess on the floor, and the blood had run down the not-quite-steady plane of it, pooling around you and mixing with the blood from your jaw, from the evening’s earlier glass cuts, from the deep, burning stab wound the Cobra had got on your arm. 

You breathe, and your body knows pain. 

You look at Loki, and your body knows pain. 

He is shaking. Visibly shaking. His hands are clenched into fists at his side, and he looks as pale as bleached bones. His eyes are shot red - he had sobbed, when you fell, and a howl had torn through his body. You don’t know what to do, what it means, what the hell even to say to him. His cheeks are tear-stained, his breaths ragged. 

You blink, and your body feels pain. 

“We won,” You croak out. “Loki, we won.” It hurts worse than anything you’ve ever felt in your life. “I think he broke one of my ribs.” 

You don’t mean to say that last part, but you do, and you are the one crying now, because it feels like he probably has, and you can barely even stay awake through this pain. It feels like the Hulk is pulling you limb from limb. Like all of those nightmares you’ve had where Loki decided to leave you - to go back to Asgard, and never speak to you again. 

Stupid, you think. He won’t, again. Not after this. 

Loki still hasn’t spoken. He’s looking at you, and his eyes are wild. Desperately, jaggedly roaming your body. His fists twitch with every new part of your body they land on. 

“That bad, huh - Oh, fuck.” 

And just like that, the tension leaves Loki’s body. The dam that had held him firmly in place is broken, and he’s running towards you with none of his usual grace. Dropping down by your side. He hoists you, and you hiss, and the tears won’t stop coming, so you bury your face in his shirt, nose pressed at the crisply ironed collar. Don’t care that it’s bleeding, because Loki’s here now. Holding you. Keeping you real. He’s got one hand stroking your hair and his touch feels right, nothing like the Pink Cobra’s, and he’s whispering: You brave, precious, idiot, how dare you, how dare you throw your life away like that?! 

“It worked,” You exhale - it’s the most you can manage. You would laugh, if it wouldn’t shred you to pieces. Loki cradles you fiercely, hands grasping at the sweat-and-blood soaked fabric of your shirt, running over you as if he doesn’t believe you’re alive. “It - hurts,” You get out. Barely. “Loki, it - I can’t -“ 

“Don’t,” He tells you. His voice has gone brittle, choked with thorns. “Don’t talk. Don’t - Don’t ever do that again. Do you hear me? You will never do that again.” 

If I need to, I will, you think. And you wonder if that’s why you’re here. Wonder if that’s why you’re strong. You wonder, and hurt, and believe. Feel the strength of him, clutching you like you’re the only thing in the world, taking in greedy lungfuls of your weeping, your need for his touch. 

You can’t talk, anymore. It hurts too badly. But you surge, upwards, up into where he’s holding the back of your head, pressing your forehead into the dark, warm space under his jaw that smells like smoke and peppermint. Loki is taller than you are - you fit right into the curve of his neck, and his long curls curtain you in a bubble of warmth and content. 

“Promise,” You say, but it comes out unintelligible, and Loki’s hands are running, so gently, over your skin. 

“What was your plan?” You ask him, forcing it out of your body. 

“Hush,” Loki says, “Later.” 

There might not be any later, you think. Not like this. 

                                                             ***

In the hotel room, an ocean of scattered pages and ceiling mold and blessed privacy, you balance, cross-legged, on the bed. The wind blows wet and cold from an earlier rain through the busted out window. You have managed this out of sheer stubborn-ness, because it is the most that Loki allowed you to do. You’d passed out, twice, on the journey back - he had magicked you there, though it had taken a considerable amount of effort that you weren’t sure you really deserved - and had immediately propped you up on the pillows and stooped to ruffle through his suitcase, emerging not long after with binding tape, cat-gut thread, and a needle so sharp you could feel it slicing your flesh. You had opened your mouth to protest, but Loki had silenced you with a glare that could fell Director Fury. So you had gone quiet, and caved, letting him kneel over you on the distinctly lumpy mattress and begin inspecting your wounds. It had taken a few tries and a Please to convince him to let you sit on your own, and it hurt much more than the manner in which he’d arranged you. You were starting to, slightly, regret it. 

“You don’t have to do this,” You say, pulling it from bleeding lips. He shushes you with a harsh, stern tut. “You’re not my mother,” You tell him. 

“You could have died,” Loki says. There’s a snarling undercurrent to it that you can’t even start dissecting. “What were you thinking?” He asks. It is easier, though still painful, for you to answer him - he had used nearly half of his Thor-limited magic reserve to perform a basic stasis spell on your injuries, but the spell wouldn’t last forever. You’ll need stitches, he’d said, choking it out like he was the hurt one when he’d seen the number the Cobra’s blade had done to your arm. 

“I’ve had worse,” You say, grinning weakly. 

“Are you lying to me?” He asks you, with the tone of someone who’s distinctly not in the mood for joking. 

“I thought,” You say. Steel yourself. “I thought you weren’t going to do what needed to be done. So I - Did it myself.” 

“What needed to be done.” Loki says, enunciating every word. 

“We couldn’t let him walk away,” You say, meeting his eyes. Emerald, clouded with fury. You don’t let yourself flinch from that anger. You don’t let yourself run from your choice. “You know what he would have done.” 

“I don’t,” Loki says. “I know nothing. I know - I know that you think that your life means so little I wouldn’t care if you were gone. That I could - Live, without you.” 

That’s… different. 

“And I know,” Loki continues, “That I told you to trust me, and I meant it.” 

“I do,” You say. There is no hesitation. “I trust you - Loki. Of course I trust you. It’s not - it wasn’t -“ 

“Stop talking,” He snaps. Gentles, when you jerk your head away, blink back a fresh wave of tears. “You need rest,” He says. “And - This is. This is going to hurt.” 

You nod. 

“Best get it over with, then.” 

“You should keep your eyes closed,” He says. 

“No! I want - I need to look.” You bring your eyes up to your arm, which he’s settled onto bed’s chewed, scratchy quilt without you realizing, but Loki tilts your head up with a barely-there graze of his fingers, achingly gentle to avoid aggravating your swollen jaw. He holds your gaze for a long time. Doesn’t look mad, anymore. 

“Are you sure?” He asks you. Like all of this could be over with, if you wanted. 

“How bad it could it be?” You ask back. 

The injury is horrendous. You’d thought - honest-to-God, you’d thought the pain was terrible, but you weren’t ready for what your arm has become. The line of the wound runs in a craggy jigsaw from just under your shoulder to the tip of your elbow. Small wonder you can’t move it, can barely think through it at all. 

“Y/N?” Loki asks, “Are you -“ 

“Fine,” You say. Blink, and your body knows pain. Try not to let how scared you are show, when you look back up at Loki. The Pink Cobra’s dead. You shouldn’t be scared, anymore. “It’s really bad, isn’t it?” 

Loki sighs. Long and low and sad. 

“Will I have to - “ 

“Bite,” Loki says, and shoves something - the sleeve of his shirt, crusted in blood which you realize, sickeningly, is yours - into your mouth. “It’ll help.” 

It doesn’t, but he holds your hand through it, hushing you through the pain with furrowed eyebrows, thread and needle flying deftly through skin, air, skin again. His fingers move precisely, deliberate,  quick, and when, on one stitch, you audibly whimper, he pauses to lean down and press a soft, utterly unexpected kiss to your hairline. You are unable to fully express how much it means to you, so you do the next best thing and kiss him yourself, pressing him back once he’s finished the last of his stitches and breathing all the the words you can’t say into him. You press every fear and gratitude and lingering nerve into the warmth of his lips, wending your fingers through his dark hair despite the pangs of agony still thrumming through every inch of your body. Your face hurts, but the kiss is all you’ve ever needed and more, and Loki is so, so gentle with you, pulling away with creased eyebrows and a look of genuine concern. 

“I wanted to,” You tell him, mustering all of your strength. “It didn’t hurt.” 

“Stop,” He tells you, voice cracking, “Stop lying.” 

“I’m not,” You say. “I wanted to, Loki, I did.” 

“And you wanted to -“ 

“No.” You are vehement about it, for a broken-ribbed, broken-jawed, freshly-stitched person coming off the high of his teeth and his tongue. “Not that, I swear, never that.”

 “Why did you do it, then?” Loki asks. He has steepled his fingers under his chin, and his narrowed eyes pierce through you to the soul. You couldn’t lie to this man, you think, if your life depended on it. 

You know that you have to tell him, this time. Really tell him. You don’t. 

“”Why didn’t you use your magic?”

“You know why,” He says, and you do. You’d remembered it as the white pill turned to white powder in your gums, as the Pink Cobra’s knife had carved its way into your flesh. Thor had put a set limit on it, as condition of Loki’s release - Proof, he had said, We can trust you. Loki had thought to save it for later, that you wouldn’t need him right then. He had thought you’d talk them out, to safety. 

You’d failed him. 

“You didn’t,” He tells you, voice raw. He goes to grip your chin, to force you to listen to him, but with a glance and ill-concealed wince at your purpled jaw he thinks better of it. “You think that you failed me? You let yourself be - be beaten and stabbed - just so people you’ve never met in your life wouldn’t die, and you call that a failure?” He runs a hand through his hair. Bites back a snarl. Drops your arm. “I need you to listen to me,” Loki says, “Very, very carefully. You’re going to tell me why now, love. And then we’re going to fix it.” 

You raise an eyebrow. Worse than he does, you’re aware. 

“Sleep,” He amends, with a pointed look at the bed underneath you, “And then we’re going to fix it.” 

“There’s only one bed,” You tell him, “And I feel like I just got run over by a truck.” 

Loki huffs, a puff of warm air that you feel, from how close he still is. A grin twitches at the edge of his lips. It sets off sparks inside you. 

“I thought -“ You say. Shake your head, and restart. “You would have let the Pink Cobra attack. You would have let him just walk away, and I couldn’t just - let that happen.” 

“Enlightening.” 

“No,” You tell him, “I mean it. I couldn’t - I’m not - I’m not worth more than anyone else. We’re the Avengers. It’s our job to save people, Loki.” 

He’s regarding you carefully, eyes still narrowed, all vestiges of softness gone from his face. When he opens his mouth, it’s to close it. Form thoughts. Discard them. Exhale. 

“My mother once told me,” He finally says, “That I would never know what it meant to be human until I found the person who made me want to bleed the world dry. Take all of its’ suffering, all of its’ cruelty, and leech it out of the very fabric of time, just to keep that person from anguish, from harm.” 

“I don’t -“ 

He holds a hand up. You still. 

“She never said they would infuriate me,” Loki says. “She never said they would make me laugh, or smile, or question my sanity on a regular basis. She never said that they’d try and get themselves killed, and that I’d have to watch, and that I would feel like my heart was being ripped from my body and torn to a bloody pulp; that I would make the sky rain blood and fire at the sight of it alone. But she was right about one thing - Many things, but also this. She told me that it wouldn’t matter. That I would - love you - anyway.” 

“You don’t,” You say, not daring to hope. It’s an automatic retort. 

“Foolish girl,” Loki chides, and you blink back fresh, stinging tears. How long have you wanted to hear Loki say that to you? How many sneaky looks have you stolen in the heat of your missions, just to see his smart mind and tricky magic at work? How many nights have you sat up together, sequestered from your insomnia in a bubble of hard-earned banter and peppermint tea, fighting the tight, coiling urge to push aside your steaming mugs and pull him into your needing? 

He could not - he can’t - feel the same. 

“Loki,” You say, stumbling over the words, “You can’t - This is - This is me we’re talking about.” 

“Is there anyone else here,” Loki asks you, “That I could be talking about?” He seems nonchalant, now, as if this - this cruel fucking joke, when you already feel you’re on fire - is merely a fact of his life. “We’re going to leave this excuse of a town, and get you - proper care. Fix it. Because I will not, on my honor, watch you suffer in pain. But first, you’re going to sleep.” 

“There’s only one bed,” You tell him, and feel your resolve as it shatters. You cling to the statement like it’s the last remnant of the girl you were and the woman that you’ll never be, “And the shower doesn’t work. And I’m covered in blood.” 

But when you look at Loki, his eyes twinkle, mischievous. 

“Will you stay with me?,” You ask him, biting your lip. 

“You astound me,” He tells you, and rolls his eyes, and it feels - it feels normal. Good. A tender heat unfurls in your heart like orchid petals in the sun, numbing the persistent ache in your ribcage. “To even think that I would do anything else.” 

Later, you will ask him why. Why do you love me?, you will ask, and Loki will hum, low in his throat, curled around you just like this first night; your back pressed into his chest, your legs tangled up hopelessly, his fingers tracing nonsense patterns onto your spine in the dawn-light’s syrupy gold. Because, he will tell you, trailing a line of soft kisses up the scar on your arm - an ugly thing, but it functions, mostly, and only ever seems to hurt on the days when he isn’t there - I was given no choice. 

But if you’d had one?”, You will ask, and spin around, propping yourself on your elbow. 

You tempt me, He’ll tell you, baring his sharp teeth. Shouldn’t you know better than that? 

You will lie there, next to each other, not needing a single word. Because you will know. Because he will have told you, a thousand times, a thousand ways, exactly how he feels about you. 

Tonight, though, isn’t that night. It takes a moment to get settled in his hold, and the rain spits and drums against what glass remains in your window, slicking the carpet with dark, greasy splotches. It figures, you think, that even the rain in this city has the smell and the texture of oil. You feel like a bag of bones, stretched too thin. But safe, in his arms, in a way that you’ve never felt, before now. Loki is with you, you realize. Wrapped around you like a traveler’s cloak, the comforting weight of a slim, balanced blade at your side in a fight. He is cool, around your afraid. Warm, where his clever fingers whine and needle their way through your skin to your heart. 

“I hate you,” You tell him, “You know that?” 

Loki laughs, a deep, rumbling purr. 

“Go to sleep.”

[writings-of-the-unkown]

Transfers Suck, But When I’m With You, Distance Doesn’t Matter

request status: yes

pairing:  Alex Morgan x Reader

Y/N- your name

Y/L- your last name

Italics are inner thoughts

Bold are text messages 

Warning: gay, lots of ANGST (sorry not sorry :|)

 Words:  1817

A/N: THIS IS FICTION ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE

“Listen, you’re either gonna hate or you’ll love me” my agent said as soon as I picked up my phone.

“What do you need Brad? It’s 4a.m. here and I don’t have time for this” I said with sleep filled voice.

“You’re being loaned out. It’s still up in the air but it’s looking like you’re headed to Arsenal” Brad sounded cheerful about this.

My brain didn’t fully register what he had told me because I was half asleep. I felt my girlfriend rolling in to me. I fell back asleep in her arms. 

My alarm went off about three hours later. I fought my way out of Alex’s death grip and got ready for the day. I checked my phone and saw a text from Brad.

It’s official! Pack your bags, you’re headed of Arsenal!!

Oh shit. That’s when the events from this morning came back to me. I was being loaned and it might end up being permanent. How the hell was I going to tell Alex?

Even though we have been dating for over a year, she still freaks out when one of us is up for a trade or transfer. The one time that sticks out in my mind is when Orlando was first becoming a team. She was chosen to head down there and immediately had a breakdown. She thought our relationship wouldn’t stand the distance as I was still in Portland. 

I was making breakfast for both of us when Alex came up behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder.

“Morning sunshine, how did you sleep?” She punctuated with a quick peck on my check.

“Good, Alex honey I have something to tell you” I whispered the last part.

“What is it? Baby you’re scaring me” she pulled me around so that I was facing her.

“So here’s the thing. Brad called this morning and I—” I got cut off by the phone ringing.

She leaned over and picked it up.

“Hello...yes she is right here. Hold on one second” Alex said into the phone. She held it out to me, “it’s for you. Something about needing to stay after practice for something” 

I grabbed it and held it between my shoulder and ear, that way I could continue to make breakfast for us.

“Yellow...yeah I can stay after…uh sure I’m working on telling them...okay.. yup see you there...uhuh…bye” I hung up.

I finished making Alex’s omelet and my scrambled eggs with cheese. She was sitting at our island on her phone. 

I set her omelet down in front of her and brought her out of the trance her phone had placed her in with a kiss. 

After breakfast, we went upstairs to get ready for practice. I threw on shorts and a tank top and braided my hair. Alex wore the same as me and had me braid her hair while putting it in a ponytail so she could use her pink prewrap as usual.

We arrived at practice and we met up with the team. We dropped our stuff on the sidelines and lined up with the rest of the team to start warmups. After we split up into groups by position. I was will Ali and our other defenders.

I was so occupied by my thoughts of the press conference that seemed like practice flew by. The coaching staff lead me to the conference room where the media was going to meet me. 

I walked through the oak double doors scanned the room for any familiar face. Thankfully Brad was there impatiently waiting for me. I sat in the chair on the stage behind the microphone with my name on it. 

The media began to ask all sorts of questions.

“What’s going on?”

“Are you retiring?”

“Is there a major health scare?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And Brad began to speak.

“Thank you all for coming. To be clear Y/N is not retiring or ill” he glance towards me and smiled. “I’ll let her tell you what’s going on”. 

Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe. 

“I have been loaned out to Arsenal. I will be finishing up the season over seas” I said as confidently as I possibly could given that I hadn’t told Alex yet. 

Brad pointed to a male reporter in the front left, to ask the first question.

“Is there trouble in paradise with fellow teammate, and your partner might I add, Alex Morgan?” Of course the pompous piece of ass would ask that.

“No there is not. Alex and I are going perfectly. I will give out no further details on that subject” I said very defensively.

I spotted Alex in the back corner by the doors. She just shook her head as she stormed out of the room.

“Alex wait! Alex!!” I ran after her. 

I figured Brad could hold down the fort in there. The only thing I cared about was getting to Alex and explaining. When I finally found her, she was sitting in her practice gear and she managed to squeeze herself into a corner with her knees pulled up to her chest. She had tears streaming down her face.

I reached out to put my hand on her shoulder but she swatted me away.

“How could you not tell me? I thought we had something special, but obviously I was wrong” she whispered.

“Alex, honey, I was going to tell you. I found out this morning and that’s what the phone call was about. I didn’t know how to tell you” I was squatting in front of her.

She looked at me with hatred in her eyes. “If you can’t trust me with this then I don’t think we can be together anymore” she was looking at the floor.

“Wait are you serious?” I questioned. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Yes. I want your stuff out by Monday” she demanded. 

She got to her feet and shuffled away. I was left standing there like an idiot, I didn’t realize that I started to cry until I tasted salt.

I started to walk back to Alex’s house. I was absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn’t realized that I was being followed. I was at Alex’s when I turned around and saw Sydney Leroux. She got out of her car and made her way to me.

“I saw the news. I assume that you need a place to stay before you head over seas, Dom is cool with you staying for a few days” she offered.

“Thanks Syd, that means a lot. Seriously” I offered her a sad smile.

I let her in the house and we started to gather my things. 

Hey just checking in on you. FYI your flight is tomorrow at 5 a.m. I read Brad’s text what felt like a million times.

I forwarded the text to Syd so that she wouldn’t be surprised. She sent back that she’d drive me to the airport. 

We headed back to her house and Cassius met me at the door, followed by Dom. 

“Thanks Dom, this means a lot” I said as wrapped my arms around him.

“Always. We’ve got your back” He whispered.

Cassius grabbed my hand and pulled me into their guest room. I laid down on the bed and Cassius jumped up on to me. We were laughing. I felt his breathing level out and I knew he was asleep. Soon after I joined him in sleep.

I woke to the sound of my phone buzzing out of control. That was my que to get up and ready to fly overseas. Dom was up and ready to drive me to the airport. 

I breezed through security and was boarded fairly quickly. I fell asleep as soon as my butt hit the chair.

I was jolted awake by the plane hitting the tarmac. 

I was greeted after I got off the plane, by none other than, Heather. 

“Kid, welcome to the other side of the pond” she joked as she ruffled my hair.

“Thanks HAO. I needed that” she threw her arm around my shoulders. 

We picked up my baggage from the baggage claim. 

Somehow after a few weeks, I fell into some sort of routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to practice, go to lunch, practice again, head home, grab a granola bar eat it while I shower, think of Alex, cry myself to sleep, repeat.

One day at practice, I overheard HAO saying that the U.S. Women’s National Team was going to share our practice fields. My anxiety skyrocketed. What if I see Alex? I can’t see her again. I’m not ready…. my thoughts were going a million miles per hour. My breath was quicking, I started to zone out. Something smacked against my back. 

“You okay, Kid?” Heather pulled me out of my trance.

“Yeah-yeah. I’m good” I said it slowly. Trying to not only convince her but also myself.

Practice went on until the National team showed up. Heather went to talk to some of the girls while I started to head back to the locker room. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking, until I ran straight into someone.

“Y/N, I-I-“ I looked right into Alex’s eyes.

“I’ll just get out of your way” I stammered.

I was about halfway down the hallway when Alex called out to me.

“Y/N, wait,” I was not going to turn around to face her, but I did stop walking. “Y/N, I made a mistake. I realized how much I rely on you,” She somehow was facing me. I kept my eyes on the floor. “You are the love of my life. I have seen what my life is like without you in it and I never want to experience that again” she lifted my head up so I was making eye contact. “Please, please, will you give me a second chance?” She finished.

“Al, I’ll think about it. Please, all I ask is that you give me a chance to think” I looked back to the floor as I made my way to the locker room.

My thoughts were on anything but giving Alex a second chance. I grabbed my longboard, when I heard the door slam shut.

“Y/N wait. Have you made a decision? I just need to know” Alex had tears filling her eyes.

“I need more time. Is your number still the same as it was a month ago?” she nodded. “Okay, I’ll text you later with my answer”.

I dropped my board and skated away. By the time I got back to my apartment, I had reached a conclusion. I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. I scrolled through my contacts until I found Alex’s number.

I’m in❤️ .

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Late to the Jabberwocky Chapter Eleven

Late to the Jabberwocky Chapter Eleven: Reunion

(Yes, I’m aware that this looks suspiciously similar to what I just posted as Chapter Thirty-Six of Daisy. This is the extended version with the Lukadrien content and the actual Luka-Adrien reunion.)

His driver Victor scowled. “You want me to take you where, Adrianka?”

Adrien’s Russian really wasn’t the best, so it was conceivable that he had just said something unintelligible. He took a deep breath and slowly repeated, “To the Couffaines’ house? Uh…the family that lives on the boat?”

The cavernous trenches of Victor’s forehead seemed to deepen, if that were truly possible. “Couffaine? That’s that—” A word in Russian that Adrien didn’t know, but it sounded angry and guttural and was mostly likely not a nice thing to be called. “—who made you cry for half a year,” Victor accused.

Adrien winced, switching back to French. “To be fair, Luka wasn’t the one who made me cry. That was my father when he threatened to ruin my friend and his entire family’s lives and careers and make Luka hate me unless I ceased all communication with him. It wasn’t Luka’s fault.”

Victor did not acknowledge Adrien’s clarification. Instead, his meat cleaver-sized hands went to his hips, and he tipped his head to the side with a suspicious frown. “Isn’t he dating little Masha from the bakery now?”

Adrien tried to smile disarmingly as he nodded, but it came out as more of a wounded grimace. “Yes. Yes, Luka and Marinette are dating.”

“And what business do you have going to see the young man dating the girl you like?”

“I was planning on seeing if he wanted to be friends again now that my father is less strict,” Adrien explained feebly.

Victor continued on in Russian. “Your father? Does your father know where you are going?”

“I told him,” Adrien fibbed, switching back to Russian so that if he were found out later, he could blame his inaccuracy on a “misunderstanding” caused by his poor language skills.

Victor leaned forward, bending at the waist to position himself eye to eye with Adrien. He arched an eyebrow. “Oh? You told him where you were going? So, if I go ask him now, he will tell me he has approved your trip to visit the Couffaine boy who broke your heart?”

“Yes,” Adrien insisted, banking on the fact that Victor would never actually go interrupt Gabriel’s work to follow up on Adrien’s lie. “Except Luka didn’t break my heart,” he clarified as an afterthought.

Victor snorted. “You are trying to tell me that you were not heartbroken two years ago?”

A sulky expression leaked through Adrien’s composed mask. “Okay, but that wasn’t Luka’s fault. That was my father’s for ripping me away from a friend who was really important to me.”

Victor nodded in a manner that indicated that he couldn’t care less whose fault it was. “Yes, yes.”

Suddenly a sausage-sized finger was being wagged in Adrien’s face. “Adrianka, I love you dearly, but—” An idiom that Adrien surmised meant something like “so help me God”. “—if I have to listen to you banging on that piano at all hours and sobbing into your pillow when you think no one can hear again…” he trailed off dangerously, crossing his arms over his chest.

Adrien flinched, shrinking as the tips of his ears turned pink.

Victor’s voice softened as he sighed and laid a giant palm on Adrien’s shoulder. “I am sick of Chopin,” he confessed gently. “I am even more sick of listening to you in pain, knowing there is nothing I can do to fix it for you. Do not put yourself in situations where you will be hurt, Adrianka.”

Adrien’s apprehension melted at the warmth and affection in his bodyguard’s words. With a bright smile, he threw his arms as far around Victor’s torso as they would reach, wrapping his steadfast companion in what would have been a crushing hug on anyone else.

“Thanks, Vitya,” he mumbled into Victor’s chest.

Victor sighed again, patting Adrien on the back. “Yes, yes. All right. Yes. Enough with the mushiness. It is nothing. I am simply tired of Chopin. I wish never to hear that brooding man’s melancholy coming from your piano ever again.”

Adrien pulled back and repeated, “Thank you…for caring about me.”

Victor rolled his eyes, affecting indifference and professional stoicism as he patted Adrien on the head. “This is not what I am paid for. This is not in my job description.”

Adrien snickered, amused at the fuss Victor was making all for show. “That’s why it means so much to me that you do care.”

Victor rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “…I am going to ask your father about you seeing this Couffaine boy,” he snorted and then actually turned and took a step towards the atelier.

Adrien’s heart dropped into his stomach. “W-Wait!”

Victor looked back at Adrien, cocking an eyebrow and smirking knowingly. “Why, Adrianka? Surely your father will confirm what you’ve told me, and then we can be on our way. What is the problem?”

Adrien grimaced.

Victor took another step and a half towards the atelier.

“Okay, fine,” Adrien sighed heavily. “You called my bluff. I just said I was meeting a friend; I didn’t say it was Luka, but in my own defence, I am legally an adult, and you guys can’t stop me from going where I want. So there,” Adrien concluded, petulantly crossing his arms in defiance.

Victor stifled a chuckle. “I look at you, and I still see that tiny, blonde, doll-like baby who I used to carry around on my shoulders. Perhaps you’ve grown too big for that now, but you will never grow so much that I stop seeing you as a child in need of my protection and mother-henning. You can be an adult when I’m dead. Until then, you’ll be hard pressed to stop me from throwing you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carting you off to someplace I determine you will be safe.—What does your photographer always say? ‘Capiche’?—Do we understand each other, Adrian Gavrillovich?”

Adrien’s face fell even further, and his arms dropped helplessly to his sides. He nodded dejectedly. “Yes, Vitya…but…I’m going anyway. I mean, I’ll go even if I have to sneak out, but…in case this all blows up in my face and I have a panic attack or emotional breakdown or something…I would really rather you drive me…please?” He peered up pleadingly at his bodyguard with the most pathetic, sad puppy-dog eyes he had in his arsenal.

Victor sighed heavily, scrubbing his face with a massive hand. “…Adrianka, this is not a good idea. Why do you want to do this so soon after you’ve had your heart broken?”

Adrien bit his lip and switched back to French to make certain that he expressed himself clearly. “I think repairing things with Luka will help.”

Victor crossed his arms, but he tipped his head slightly and cocked an eyebrow to show that he was listening.

Adrien took a measured breath and continued, “When I was hanging out with him and his family before, I felt…like I belonged…like I was okay how I was, even though I had a lot of issues. Luka still liked me on my bad days. It didn’t matter if I was crying over a fight with Dad or if I was an anxious wreck over an upcoming fencing tournament or piano recital. Whatever I was feeling was fine. Whenever I was in good spirits, we’d hang out and have fun, but whenever I was a mess, he’d sit with me and let me cry, comfort me, help me to talk it out. …I think I could really use a friend like that in my life right now. Everyone else has been great,” Adrien rushed to assure, “but Luka always seemed to get me…and it couldn’t hurt to have another friend, could it?”

Victor pursed his lips, weighing Adrien’s arguments. “What if he’s changed? What if he’s not the boy you knew anymore?”

Adrien frowned, caught off guard momentarily. “He…It didn’t seem like he’d changed much the other night when I saw him at Chloé’s party. And he texted me yesterday to apologize for the misunderstanding and make sure I was okay. I’m sure he’s not exactly the same, but I can’t imagine Luka changing all that drastically in just two years.”

Victor shook his head slowly. “Adrianka, perhaps under normal circumstances it would be good for you to rekindle your friendship with the Couffaine boy now that your father is easing up on restrictions, but I do not see this going well, you trying to befriend the boy that the girl you like chose over you. This ends poorly.”

“I think you’re wrong,” Adrien gently insisted. “I think being friends with Marinette’s boyfriend could be a good thing.”

Victor gave Adrien a look that said that he thought Adrien was delusional, but Victor did not verbally respond, letting Adrien continue.

Adrien let out a soft, frustrated sigh and forged forward. “Look, ever since things first blew up with Marinette, my friend group has been divided. Alya has been trying to split her time between us, but the reality is that she’s Marinette’s best friend, so she feels like she has to be on Marinette’s ‘side’, so I’ve hardly seen Alya in two months. I don’t want there to be ‘sides’. I don’t want to cause a rift. I don’t want to not be invited to things because Luka and Marinette are going to be there. Sunday was Marinette’s graduation party, and she didn’t invite me. She didn’t even tell me about it because—I don’t know—maybe it was because Luka was going to be there and she wasn’t ready to tell me they were dating. Maybe it was because she still needed space or whatever, but the point is that I was excluded because of the mess between me and Marinette.” His voice dipped low, cracking.

His gaze dropped to the floor. “That’s not a good feeling. I don’t know how many other graduation parties I wasn’t invited to because of this, but I don’t want to be left out any more than I already am. If I’m friends with Luka, if everybody can see that things are okay, that there doesn’t have to be an Adrien side and a Marinette side, maybe things can slowly go back to normal. Maybe being friends with Luka will help me be friends with Marinette again too. I just…” Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Victor’s gaze imploringly. “More than anything, I want some kind of normal again.”

Victor nodded slowly, resignedly, a look of deep compassion in his eyes. “I don’t know that this is the way to go about it, but…I’m not about to let you go alone to find out the hard way that this is a bad idea. I wouldn’t want you getting upset and falling off a roof on your way back. I don’t trust that suit of yours to protect you.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as he realized that of course Victor knew. The man had only spent the better part of nearly every day of the past decade within shouting distance of Adrien. Victor would have been a poor bodyguard if he hadn’t picked up on his charge’s secret.

“Go wait around front, Adrianka,” Victor instructed, giving Adrien a gentle pat on the head. “I’ll bring the car around, but if this goes badly and your father asks why I took you, I’m going to—” An idiomatic expression that Adrien did not understand but surmised from context to mean something like “throw you under the bus”. “—and tell him you swore up and down that you had his express permission to go.”

“I think I can live with that,” Adrien snickered and started to make his way out front to wait.

 “Forgive me,” Nooroo’s disembodied voice whispered from inside Adrien’s right shoulder as they waited for Victor to bring the car. “but yesterday I thought that you told Ladybug that you did not wish to be her friend any longer and needed some space and some time.”

Adrien blinked, frowning down in confusion at the offending shoulder as he fiddled with his ring and readjusted his tie. “Yeah? What about it?” he whispered back gently.

“Just now, you told your guard that you wanted to rekindle your friendship with Monsieur Couffaine so that it would facilitate rebuilding your friendship with Miss Dupain-Cheng. I am just a little confused about this development. Do we wish to be friends with Miss Dupain-Cheng now?”

A florid blush burst forth on Adrien’s cheeks, and he looked away, mumbling, “No. Not right now, no.”

“He just knows he’s going to change his mind,” Plagg snickered helpfully from within Adrien’s left shoulder.

“I’m allowed to change my mind if I want,” Adrien grumbled sullenly. “Human beings often say one thing and then turn around and do another. It’s not that I have changed my mind…just that I can.”

“Of course you can,” Plagg agreed more gently, easing up on his chosen.

“Of course, Adrien-bocchama,” Nooroo echoed.

Adrien took a deep breath, trying to re-center himself. “For right now, though, I’d kind of like to focus on the task at hand. I’m not one hundred percent certain what’s going to happen with Luka, and I’d like to concentrate on him before I really start thinking about the dizzying prospect of being just friends with the girl I am madly in love with.”

 Crossing the gangplank to the Liberty, Adrien was all nerves. He took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm himself before checking the railing for the bell pull that the Couffaines used to keep on the banister at the end of the walkway. Adrien had only used it a handful of times when he’d first started visiting before Anarka had reassured him that Juleka hadn’t been kidding: Adrien really could just come aboard at his leisure, without invitation, at any time of the day or night, and the Couffaines would be happy to have him.

This time, though, Adrien thought it better to stand on formality. Despite Luka’s behaviour at the party and despite Luka’s texts the day before, Adrien wasn’t entirely sure that he was welcome anymore.

He’d just reached for the rope to pull when someone cleared their throat in a manner that suggested Adrien had been caught doing something he oughtn’t. He looked up and around to find Juleka rising from a deck chair and setting down her magazine to make her way over.

“Uh…hey…Juleka,” he greeted lamely, completely thrown off.

She came to a stop in front of him with her arms crossed, a wary look on her face. She was affectively barring his way, blocking him from coming down off the gangplank and properly coming aboard the Liberty.

Adrien couldn’t determine whether it was deliberate.

“Hey,” she returned his salutation in a monotone…not that that was unusual or in any way telling for Juleka. She brushed her hair out of her face with a finger to peer at him curiously with both amber eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Adrien was wondering the same thing.

He gulped. “I came to see Luka?”

Juleka stiffened at that, but at the same time she laughed, teasing, “Are you sure about that?”

Adrien nodded, not certain what to make of his former classmate. They hadn’t talked much the past two years. Adrien had, in fact, actively avoided Juleka and Rose for twelve whole months after their abrupt parting until the following year when they had all been placed in the same class again and avoiding them became near impossible. Two years before, Adrien and Juleka had enjoyed a tentative friendship, teasing one another relentlessly and giving each other trouble just for the fun of it. Now, Adrien had no idea where they stood.

“Is Luka expecting you?” Juleka eyed him intently in a cross between suspicion and circumspection. Her expression and stance were still guarded.

“Uh…no,” Adrien admitted with a frown. “I’m sorry. I just kind of decided this morning to drop by spur of the moment.”

Some of the tension seemed to come out of Juleka’s posture.

Adrien bit his lip. “Is now a bad time?”

She nodded. “Luka’s not actually home right now.”

“O-Oh,” Adrien replied, the word sticking in his throat as his heart sank.

Yes, Adrien had been nervous and, frankly, scared stiff at the thought of seeing Luka again and possibly getting shot down like a pheasant, but now that seeing Luka was no longer an option, Adrien began to realize how badly he’d wanted the reunion.

“Do-Do you happen to know when he’ll be back?” Adrien asked, hearing himself like some disembodied voice.

Juleka’s lips pressed together, and she let her bangs fall back into her face as she frowned, crossing her arms once more. “Look…Adrien… This is nothing against you personally, but I don’t think you should be hanging around my brother.”

Adrien’s mouth dropped open, and he stared at Juleka, thinking he must have misheard. “S-Sorry. What?”

She took a deep breath, steeled herself, and continued in the strongest, most determined voice Adrien had ever heard from her, “Please stay away from my brother. I don’t know what’s going on with you this year, but I do know that I don’t want my brother mixed up in it. Luka doesn’t need you in his life right now.”

“O-Oh,” Adrien croaked, breath hitching as he began to hear blood rushing in his ears.

“He’s finally with the girl he’s always wanted,” she pressed on. “He’s happy, and I don’t want you messing that up for him, okay? He’s one of the best people on this earth, and he deserves to be happy. He doesn’t need you coming back here after the way you just dropped him last time.”

“I-I didn’t—My father was—” Adrien tried to explain, but his thoughts were fragmented, and it was getting hard to breath, let alone form coherent sentences to explain Gabriel’s blackmail tactics.

Juleka let out a derisive bark of laughter. “Yeah, yeah. Luka’s told me it was your father’s fault, but do you really believe that you’re completely blameless?”

“I…” Adrien gulped.

“You didn’t fight for him,” Juleka accused with heat, eyes beginning to dampen as the memories flooded back, reigniting the rage she had felt, the fear, the confusion of when Adrien had left them without explanation, ripping her brother’s heart out and taking it with him.

“You just rolled over and did what your father told you to. You didn’t even try to fight for Luka. He wasn’t worth it to you,” she hissed.

Adrien opened his mouth to tell her exactly how much Luka had been worth to him, but she spoke again first.

“You hurt him,” Juleka added, voice losing its edge, sounding pained instead of accusatory.

Her strong, dependable, unshakable brother had fallen to pieces right in front of her eyes, leaving her helpless, not knowing what to do, not knowing if things would ever be okay again for a little over a year.

“…I thought we were going to lose him, you hurt him so bad,” she whispered, voice raw, visible eye piercing through Adrien, robbing him of his voice. “Why should I let you come back and hurt him again?”

All Adrien could do was stand there on the gangplank with his mouth hanging partially open. He was completely defenseless against her words. What could he say?

“Juju!�� Rose called as she ascended the stairs to the deck, her singsong cutting through the tense atmosphere. “Juleka! Have you seen my—Oh!” Rose came to a sudden stop when she spotted their visitor. “A-Adrien! Hi!” she greeted, skipping across the deck to her girlfriend’s side.

“Uh…Hi,” Adrien replied in a bit of a daze. “Hi, Rose. How are you?”

Oddly enough, Rose didn’t seem displeased to see him. Her face lit up in a wide grin, and even her crystal blue eyes smiled as she answered, “Pretty well, thanks! How about you?” She tipped her head to the side. “I’ve heard you’ve been sick. Are you feeling okay? You look awfully pale.”

Adrien opened his mouth to respond, but Juleka cut him off. “Rose, Adrien was just dropping by to say hi to Luka—”

Rose brightened an extra hundred or so watts, opening her mouth and starting to gesture back towards where she had come from below deck, as if she were going to offer to go back down and fetch Luka for Adrien.

Juleka steamrolled over Rose’s offer. “—but Luka isn’t here right now, right, Rose?”

Rose frowned in confusion and started to contradict her girlfriend when Juleka gave Rose a look.

Rose’s eyes widened, and her lips came into the shape of a miniature letter O. Slowly, she began to nod. “Ooooh. Right. Luka…Luka isn’t here right now.”

“Oh,” Adrien replied flatly, finally understanding. Luka was downstairs, but Adrien wasn’t welcome aboard the Liberty. Luka didn’t want to see Adrien. “I don’t suppose I could wait for him?” he suggested petulantly just for the sake of being difficult.

“No,” Juleka decreed as Rose surreptitiously slipped her phone out of her pocket, holding it down at her side so that Juleka wouldn’t see her typing: “drop what you’re doing and get up here NOW pretend to be looking for something LOUDLY”.

“No, he’s going to be gone for hours,” Juleka lied, unaware of Rose’s subterfuge.

“We’ll tell him you stopped by,” Rose assured with a bright smile. “He’ll be really happy to know you came to see him.”

Adrien blinked owlishly at Rose, thinking he’d misheard her. “R-Really? You think he’d be happy?”

“Mmhm.” Rose nodded enthusiastically. “I’ll be sure to tell him you were here.”

“But you should probably go now,” Juleka added pointedly with the conviction of someone certain she was protecting a loved one from ruin.

“Juleka!” Luka called from below deck.

Adrien’s heart ceased to function properly. All air molecules left his lungs, and the tips of his ears turned poppy red.

Juleka, as if to provide contrast, turned milk white.

“Juleka!” Luka called again. “Have you seen my—?” He paused at the top of the stairs, blue eyes catching on green. “…Adrien,” he breathed reverently.

Adrien’s doubts evaporated with one glimpse of Luka’s smile. It was obvious from the expression on Luka’s face that Luka very much did want to see Adrien.

Adrien returned the smile shyly, hand going to rub at the back of his neck. “Hi.”

“Luka! When did you get back?” Rose greeted in an attempt to keep up Juleka’s ruse. “We thought you’d be gone for hours still! What good luck! Adrien came by to see you, but we thought you weren’t here, and Adrien was just about to leave, but you came up just in time!”

Luka didn’t seem to hear Rose as he made his way over to the gangplank, eyes locked on Adrien. “Hi,” he chuckled, beaming with a star-like effulgence. “You really came to see me?”

Adrien nodded. “Uh…yeah. Yeah, I did. At the party, you’d mentioned hanging out, and then…” Adrien bit his lip. “I mean…your texts yesterday made it sound like-like that offer was still on the table, despite recent plot developments, so…” He took a deep breath and looked Luka in the eye. “I came to apologize and see if you’d be willing to give me a second chance.” His smile took on a nervous aspect. He still half expected to be rejected.

But Luka grinned his closed-mouth smile, shoulders shaking as he laughed. His eyes were warm and welcoming. “As many as you need,” he assured.

A weight lifted from Adrien’s chest, and he sighed in relief, chuckling giddily. “Thank you.”

Luka shrugged. “No thanks necessary. Come aboard.”

Adrien took a step forward but stopped when he realized that Juleka wasn’t moving to let him past. “Um…?”

Luka blinked and then seemed to register his sister’s presence. “Hey, Jules? You’re kind of blocking the path.”

Juleka looked down at her feet, muttering something not even Adrien could make out with his enhanced hearing as she shuffled out of the way.

Luka turned his gaze back on Adrien, holding out a hand. “Watch your step. Wouldn’t want you to trip.”

“I am never going to live that down, am I?” Adrien groaned, taking the proffered hand as he stepped down onto the deck.

“Nope,” Luka confirmed. “It’s one of my favourite memories of you.”

Adrien gave a snort. “Don’t sass me.”

“Don’t be catty,” Luka returned with a wink.

Adrien’s pout turned into a smirk. “I’m allowed to be a bit of a sourpuss. After all, you just foiled my ingenious scheme to trip and fall into your arms,” Adrien took a risk and teased, testing the waters to see how easily they could fall back into their old patterns.

Without missing a beat, Luka clicked his tongue. “Darn me and my gallantry. Warn me next time, and I’ll happily allow you to ‘trip’.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a heads up,” Adrien assured, glad to see that platonic flirting was still acceptable.

“How long are you going to keep holding his hand?” Juleka inquired reprovingly, cutting through the moment.

Adrien jumped and almost pulled back, but Luka gave his hand a squeeze as he responded, “Forever,” with a shrug, tugging Adrien’s hand into his chest. “This is mine now.”

Adrien couldn’t help laughing. “But I need that.”

Luka shook his head. “You’re ambidextrous. You can just learn to use your right hand for everything.”

“But I need both hands to play the piano,” Adrien protested even as he noted that Luka’s REO Speedwagon shirt was really soft.

“Ah.” Luka pursed his lips. “All right. He makes a good point. It would be a crime to rob the world of such a pianist. You can have this back on the condition that you play me something later.”

“Deal,” Adrien agreed with a laugh and immediately missed Luka’s warmth as his hand was released.

Juleka rolled her eyes with a snort and stalked back over to her deckchair to ressume her magazine.

Rose followed, sitting at Juleka’s feet and resting her head in Juleka’s lap, giving her girlfriend comforting nuzzles and gentle reassurances that things were going to be okay.

Adrien cleared his throat awkwardly. “So…at the party, I believe we established that we both enjoy opera?”

“We did,” Luka agreed, tipping his head to the side in curiosity.

“Have you ever seen Monteverdi’s L’Orfeo?” Adrien baited.

Luka arched an eyebrow. “I mean, online, yes, but never in person. They don’t really perform it often.” His cheeks turned pastel pink as he confessed, “Honestly, I haven’t actually seen much opera in person at all.”

Adrien blinked in disbelief. “You haven’t?”

Luka shook his head and shrugged. “Too expensive.”

Adrien winced. “Sor—”

“—Don’t worry about it,” Luka cut him off with an easy grin. “I’ve seen some excellent performances online and by borrowing recordings from the library.”

“Would you like to see Monteverdi’s L’Orfeo in person?” Adrien inquired, wearing a sly smile.

“Don’t tease me,” Luka pouted with an undercurrent of excitement as he nudged Adrien’s arm.

“I’m not teasing,” Adrien promised, elbowing Luka back. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

Luka gazed at Adrien, glacial blue eyes full of tentative hope. “Going to see Monteverdi’s L’Orfeo?”

Adrien grinned, flashing the tickets. “I got us box seats. Some obscenely rich dowager is putting on a private performance tomorrow night because she has nothing better to do with her time and money, and since I am also rich and famous and friends with the mayor’s daughter, I was able to get on the guestlist. Wanna be my date?”

Luka could only nod as he stared in awe at the ornately embossed invitations.

“In case you missed it, this is me trying to impress you with my money and social status in an attempt to bribe you into being my friend again. …How am I doing?” Adrien chuckled nervously.

“I’m definitely impressed,” Luka assured. “Bribery isn’t necessary, but you won’t hear any complaints from me. I’m just kind of worried that I don’t have anything nice enough to wear to a snazzy event like this. What you saw me in at Chloé’s party was the nicest thing I own, and even that is a little on the casual side.”

“No worries,” Adrien replied, waving away Luka’s concerns. “I have a whole basement level filled with formalwear. How about I pick you up at six and bring you back to my house for dinner? Then we can play dress up and leave for the opera from there. How’s that sound?”

“Your father would let you do that?” Luka asked incredulously. “Have someone over and borrow one of his designs like that?”

Adrien’s smile turned sheepish. “I think so? If I asked, probably. I’m not exactly sure what the rules are nowadays, but he’s being pretty lenient in general since my first breakdown two months ago. And, I mean, if he says no, I’ll just buy you a suit and take you out to dinner instead—I’m not accepting ‘no’ for an answer, by the way,” Adrien added as he saw Luka start to open his mouth in protest. “You know money is nothing to me. I want to take you to the opera. Okay?”

Luka bit his lip but quickly gave up all thought of arguing. “Okay. But I owe you, all right?”

“For what?” Adrien snorted. “This is a trade: I take you to the opera; you be my friend again. Honestly, I think I’m the one who still owes you.”

Luka rolled his eyes, insisting, “Seriously, Adrien, you don’t have to bribe me. I want to be friends again just as much as you do.”

“Fine,” Adrien relented. “Then take all this as an apology…for how things ended last time. I’m sorry about my father, and I’m sorry that I…that I couldn’t…didn’t…I’m sorry, Luka,” Adrien concluded with a sigh. “I’m so sorry.”

Luka shook his head and tentatively reached out a hand to ruffle Adrien’s hair. “It wasn’t your fault, Angel. Look at me.”

Hesitantly, Adrien did. “But I should have—”

“—Shh,” Luka interrupted softly, giving Adrien’s head a gentle pat. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. Let’s put that behind us, okay?”

Adrien’s teeth cut into his bottom lip as he studied Luka’s face, the soft look in his eyes.

Luka was all warmth and fondness and forgiveness.

Adrien let out a long sigh of relief. “Okay. All right…. Friends?” He held out his hand.

“Friends,” Luka agreed, taking it and using it to pull Adrien into a hug.

They squeezed each other fiercely and then quickly stepped back, all smiles.

“Hey, so are you busy right now?” Luka inquired, feeling giddy. He stuffed his hands into his pockets in an attempt to keep himself from reaching out for Adrien again.

Adrien smelled just as good as Luka remembered. Adrien was warm and solid, compact yet muscular. His hair was like feathers, his skin smooth and soft. Two years had added hints of a more mature masculinity around the edges, but Adrien hadn’t really changed much. Adrien was still a delight to have in Luka’s arms.

Luka had to remind himself that he was no longer single and no longer in love with this boy. He couldn’t allow himself to dive back in where they’d left off. Luka was over the Adrien of two years ago and didn’t yet know the Adrien in front of him. Luka needed to police himself.

“Right now? No. I don’t have anywhere I need to be.” Adrien replied with a shrug. “Why do you ask?”

“Do you want to come below deck and hang out for a bit?” Luka offered, suddenly nervous again.

Adrien’s eyes lit up. “Really? Sure! I’d love to. Just let me text my driver not to wait for me.” He smiled sheepishly. “I wasn’t really certain what your response to me showing up here would be after the whole…uh…” His gaze dropped down to his feet for an instant. “…debacle with your girlfriend, so…” He looked back up, mentally reinforcing the edges of a shaky smile. “Victor was waiting for me in case you said you never wanted to speak to me again and I ended up slinking back to the Mansion with my tail between my legs.”

Luka winced. “Well, I can’t really blame you for being concerned, I guess. I was sort of worried that you would never want to talk to me again, so…I suppose we were equally wrong.”

“Thank goodness,” Adrien chuckled, pulling out his phone and typing a quick text to Victor, letting him know that Adrien was staying and could make his own way home.

“All right,” Adrien announced, slipping his mobile back into his pocket. “Take me to your keyboard. I believe I owe you a song for the safe return of my left hand?”

Luka chuckled, assuring, “Only if you want to, but I’d personally love to hear you play. I’ve been deprived of your talents for too long.”

“Ditto,” Adrien snickered. “I’ll trade ya. I’ll play whatever you want, but then I want to hear everything you’ve been up to musically for the past two years.”

Luka gave a surprised snort of laughter. “Everything?”

“Everything,” Adrien confirmed. “How am I supposed to be your biggest fan again if you don’t catch me up?”

Luka quirked an eyebrow at his friend’s sincerity. “But catching you up will take weeks.”

Adrien shrugged. “I’m not opposed to moving back in with you guys. I assume my bed is still right where I left it?” he inquired innocently.

Luka put a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh. “Your bed?”

“Mmhm.” Adrien nodded. “You know. The one I annexed two years ago and then magnanimously allowed you to use?”

“Ah, yes,” Luka snickered. “I am intimately acquainted with the bed in question. Don’t worry. It’s right where you left it.”

“G-Good.” Adrien’s voice caught as he suddenly found himself getting choked up. “Sorry.” He took a quick swipe at his eyes. “I don’t know why I’m—” He met Luka’s gaze bashfully. “…I missed you.”

Luka nodded, tentatively reaching out to stroke Adrien’s hair, unsure of whether he was allowed to anymore, and, even then, whether he should.

“I missed you too.” The words were abysmally inadequate for the sentiment they were meant to convey.

“After my father—I was miserable for months,” Adrien confessed, sighing. “It was like a part of me had been ripped away suddenly, and I couldn’t be the me that I was when I was here. I had to go back to being the me I was before, and I just couldn’t make myself fit anymore, but—” He rolled his eyes self-deprecatingly, smiling wryly. “I’m probably not making any sense.”

He was making perfect sense to Luka. Those feelings weren’t exactly the same as what Luka had experienced at their separation, but Luka could relate to the suffering behind Adrien’s words.

Adrien looked down at his feet. “Just...What I’m trying to say is, I missed you guys. I missed the Liberty and the person I was when I was here with you and your family. I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to have any of this ever again, so…I know I’m a sentimental sap, but being here and joking with you like nothing has changed means the world to me. A lot of things—everything—in my life is changing right now. It’s really nice to have something that feels normal. Everything is overwhelming right now, so…this is really nice. Sorry I’m being ridiculous and emotional,” he laughed sheepishly, trying to trivialize his feelings and so excuse them. “Thank you for having me here.”

Luka stepped forward, pulling Adrien into a tight hug. “Thanks for coming back to me…even though it took a long time,” Luka whispered into Adrien’s hair, lips brushing against the shell of Adrien’s ear.

Adrien’s whole body tingled pleasantly as he began to melt into Luka.

Catching himself, Luka pulled back and smiled disarmingly. “How’s your Liszt?”

A surprised laugh burst forth from Adrien’s lungs, yanking him out of the previous moment in Luka’s arms. “Liszt? Tolerable. Any piece in particular you had in mind?”

“Totentanz,” Luka replied decidedly.

Adrien nodded to himself as he mentally ran over the song. “I think I remember most of it, but promise you won’t laugh when I totally blank.”

“Never,” Luka swore, crossing his heart. “Come on below deck.”

“Make sure you behave, Luc!” Juleka called after them. “Don’t make me tell your girlfriend on you. No blondes in the bed!”

“Is this a concern?” Adrien laughed, a tad confused at Juleka’s vehemence as Luka escorted him over to the stairs.

“Juleka may have seen us dancing at the party and gotten the wrong idea,” Luka sighed, waving his sister off over his shoulder.

Adrien winced. “Sorry about that.”

Luka shook his head. “No big. I’d dance with you again every time.”

Adrien grinned, cheeks heating up. Even though he didn’t really know what to do with that comment and how it made him feel, it still evoked a warm, happy glow in his chest.

“Luka, make sure you play him the Vivaldi piece!” Rose added her two centimes. “That way you can stop practicing because we’re all sick of it.”

“Vivaldi?” Adrien’s head cocked to the side.

Luka grimaced. “Uh…you mentioned the first movement of Vivaldi’s Winter at the party…. I may have been playing it all week.”

Adrien laughed. “You see, that’s really funny because you mentioned Ravel’s Miroirs No. 3, ‘Une Barque sur l'Ocean’, and I’ve been playing it all week too.”

Luka blinked, a blinding blush creeping up on his cheeks. “R-Really?”

Adrien smirked. “Mmhm. I’ll play it for you after Totentanz.” With a patented wink, he turned and headed down the stairs.

Luka paused for a minute, trying to puzzle out the meaning of all this. He promptly got distracted by the fit of Adrien’s jeans as his friend descended the steps.

It was then that it dawned on Luka that, even though he was no longer in love with Adrien, he was closer to the edge than he’d realized. One good shove, and he’d fall headlong.

Luka was in serious trouble.

[hannahmcne]

Lost on the Case - Chapter 7

At five o'clock Alya couldn't sleep, so she slipped out of the room as silently as possible without waking Nino. She went to the living room and spread out an arsenal of lined paper, black and blue pens, and sticky notes. She was going to crack this case once and for all.

Armed with at least four hours of sleep and a renewed vision of what had occurred almost ten years ago, she opened up her video of Chat Noir's email. Using frequent pausing, she was able to read the entire contents.

The Marinette emails were seven in quantity. They were short, out-of-context, and showed a side of her friend that Alya had never seen. They'd been sent over a period of two days and changed a lot of what Alya thought about the case.

CN: This is Chat Noir, reporting for duty. Do I read my princess?

MDC: Hey kitty. Glad it worked.

CN: Me too. Could have been catastrophic if someone else had gotten this

MDC: Created a new email address. La_coccinelle.

CN: Sweet. Just sent an email. Did it work?

MDC: Yup.

CN: Sweet. Make sure to delete these emails on your end on the off-chance someone reads your emails after we're gone.

Alya felt like she was fourteen again, famous for running after akumas and uploading stories about the symbolic history of ladybugs. One large half of her was overjoyed at what she'd discovered. Namely 'my best friend is on a nickname basis with one of Paris's superheroes' and 'Chat Noir puns in his emails'. But a very small portion of her spirit was shivering. Marinette had created the Ladybug address. She scribbled on a paper to keep her mind going, even though she was afraid of what she'd find.

Problem: Marinette created the Ladybug email.

Solutions/Options: It's the real account, or it's not.

And, of course, on that note, Chat Noir had definitely planned to leave to somewhere with Marinette.

With shaking hands, she started the portion of the video with the Ladybug emails. There were more of these, twenty-three in all. They spanned the time up until the night Marinette was kidnapped, even going past Adrien's death.

1. CN: Do I read my Princess?

2. LB: This account is actually under Ladybug, but you can call me whatever. Either way, it's me.

3. CN: Kay. I found a house. 420€ yearly rental. It's large, out of way. Two-story.

4. LB: Bed/Bath?

5. CN: Four baths and seven-bed.

6. LB: Wow, large. Sounds good. Rented car yet?

7. CN: No but I found a place. I'll actually step in and rent it after I've died.

8. LB: Kay. I'll suit up and hit up Alya and Chloe today. When does Nino get back?

9. CN: Late tomorrow. I can drop off to him.

10. LB: Great.

11. CN: I'm just about to push my fake body out the window, then I'll head over.

12. LB: Make it to the house okay?

13. CN: Yup. Put your things in a spare room. I'm going to order in for a few essential furniture items. Pls help?

14. LB: Use francecanape.

15. CN: Kay. Have things blown up yet?

16. LB: Sorry to have taken so long. Yes, things were dreary at school today. A gardener discovered your body before lunch, so when we came back from break Ms. Bustier was crying. I think I did well pretending I didn't know what was coming. Chloe left school. Nino was taken out of class and sent home. The lesson was canceled. Great day. Everyone misses you.

17. CN: I miss everyone. Do you think you played the sad crush part well enough?

18. LB: Knowing you were actually alive made it hard, so there weren't any tears. I just went unresponsive until Ms. Bustier sent me to the nurse. Then I went home with a nurse ticket and watched sad videos on YouTube until my face was red. Alya didn't pry, so I think I did good. I just got off of a facetime with her.

19. CN: Clever bug. Did my dad say anything?

20. LB: Not yet. I'll keep you updated. LMK when you come back to get me.

21. CN: On my way. Ready to be kidnapped?

22. LB: I'm wearing a black jacket with white buttons and red leggings. I'll leave in thirty-two minutes.

23. CN: I'd know you anywhere, my lady. Lying in wait and in position. See you soon. (I love you)

Alya began to cry. She'd forgotten so many details. She'd missed how Marinette hadn't cried. She remembered that stupid FaceTime.

The door to the bedroom down the hall opened and Nino emerged, rubbing his eyes. "Alya?" He mumbled. "Why are you up?" He came over and squinted at the screen. Alya wasn't sure he could read anything through the layers of eye boogers around his lids, but he still leaned down to hug her.

"Figure it out?" He asked.

Alya nodded into his shirt.

"Tell me." He murmured. He adjusted her in his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. Alya wiped her eyes.

"Adrien was the kidnapper. He pushed a fake body out of his window – I'm not sure how it passed as real, but I almost don't want to know. He and Marinette planned the entire kidnapping and were emailing each other thirty minutes before they staged it. The car was a rental. I- I need to find it." Alya reached toward her computer. Her fingertips felt numb. Since all the rental companies were still closed, she took a chance and went back to her public-domain file finder again. Nino watched over her shoulder as within minutes, she found a record that matched perfectly.

"White, four-door, tinted Chevrolet hatchback taken out on the same day Marinette was kidnapped. The name was Bryce Papenbrook. In Paris for a quick vacation. According to this court record, he came in the next day and explained that the car had been totaled in an off-road accident. He agreed to pay for the car in full and produced the entire cost – €16,919 - in cash, upfront. The company didn't press charges and only filed a record to explain why one car had been blacked out from the records. They also asked him to please refrain from renting in the future." Alya summarized as she read.

Nino grunted. "So, if Adrien took out €40,000 and the car was €16,919-"

"Plus initial renting charge of about thirty-five euros." Alya interrupted.

"Right." Nino agreed. "That's like, twenty-four thousand left."

"And they're renting a house." Alya flipped back to the emails. "See? And it's a large house too. They've got a great rate on it too. A house like that…" Alya thought. "Well, it depends on where they are. In a smaller town, maybe four-hundred euros is a reasonable amount, but in Paris... She trailed off. "I wonder if Adrien kept using that name?"

She cleared her public records finder and took thirty extra seconds to also clear her cookies so that the website wouldn't give her biased reports. Then she entered the name Bryce Papenbrook. A slew of records came up. Bryce shared the same birthday as Adrien but was three years older. He was married to a woman named Christina whose maiden name was Vee. Coincidentally, Christina shared the same birthday as Marinette, but was also three years older. They had a house together at 830 Whitebreak Road in Winebrook(Pronounced Vine-brook.).

Alya looked at the housing record a little closer. It was a large house with two stories plus a basement, open-concept kitchen, four baths and seven-bed. It matched what Chat had described to Ladybug with extra details. And to top it all off, they'd had it for ten years as of six days ago.

Nino opened his phone while Alya stared numbly at her screen. He opened Facebook and searched for Bryce Papenbrook. Third down on the list of related people was a picture of Marinette and Adrien sitting on the ground together, dressed in shades of black and dark red. Adrien had a smile that was more Chat than Adrien, and Marinette smiled sweetly like she had a secret no one could guess as she leaned into Adrien's touch. They were older, meaning it was more recent than their kidnappings. Nino nudged Alya to show her.

The cover photo was another one of Marinette and Adrien, and the rest of the account was private. But it was under the name Bryce Papenbrook, which confirmed everything they needed to know.

Alya went back to the settings of Chat Noir's email. She hadn't noticed it before, but the primary recovery email was set to . A teacher's email. Alya examined the phone number attached to the account and grabbed her phone.

"You're not really going to call him, are you?" Nino asked.

Alya cleared her throat two or three times in answer. She pursed her lips and then stretched them as wide as she could. Nino had to resist the urge to laugh. Then, Alya glanced at the clock. It was almost six. With any luck, Brye would be asleep. She dialed the number and put it on speaker at least three feet from her. No one picked up, so she dialed again. This happened twice more before the receiving end clicked.

"Mhello?" Someone groaned on the other end through a yawn.

"Hello this is Frances DoGood and I'd like to schedule a flight for thirteen-o'clock?" Alya said in a high-pitched voice. She kept her lips poised like she was whistling, not speaking. She sounded like an old lady.

"Mmph. What?" The voice on the other end was distorted through fabric noises and the general sounds of someone very sleepy.

"I need a flight from Versailles to Brussels at thirteen-o'clock." Alya repeated in her funny voice.

"Lady, this isn't the airport."

"This isn't Orlay?" Alya acted innocent.

"I think you mean Orly. No, I'm… Bryce Papenbrook. Not the airport. I can… find you the right number if you want?" It was clear that he really, really wanted to go back to sleep. Nino felt bad for the poor guy.

"Oh, no thank you. I think my phone can tell me. Sorry to bug you." Alya smiled wickedly. Nino almost laughed.

"No problem." If the action of rolling your eyes could be expressed in a sound, that was what came through the speaker. Nino bit his lip. A colossal yawn followed. "Goodbye."

"Bye!" Alya hung up. Nino burst into laughter, which filled their whole apartment and almost made up for the sadness of Alya's breakdown. Alya tapped her fingers on her laptop to let out some loose energy.

"That was Adrien." She said after Nino calmed down. "Could you hear him?"

Nino nodded. "It sure sounded like him."

"That means now I have his phone number, his email, and his address." Alya schemed as she closed all the tabs open on her screen and opened a blank google.

"And to think he was dead four days ago," Nino mumbled. "I just heard my best bud's voice for the first time in ten years."

"I know. Crazy, right?" Alya mumbled.

Nino looked at the screen she was on as she typed. He sat up straight. "What are you doing?" He demanded.

The screen showed the Paris Metro out of the city. Alya was booking a ride to Winebrook. She shrugged at Nino's expression.

"Adrien and Marinette ditched us without a word, so they'll have to deal with me dropping in unannounced to ask a few questions," Alya said.

"Us." Nino corrected.

Alya smiled and upped the passenger count to two. "Us." She confirmed. Once booked, she shut the laptop.

"Should we mention this to anyone?" Nino asked as she stood up and walked to the bedroom. "Marinette's parents, Chloe, Mr. Agreste?" He trailed off.

Alya pulled off her pajama top and began rifling through her wardrobe for a shirt. "I'll send Queen Bee a message through André Bourgeois's hotel management that she'll have to manage Paris for two or so days, and I'll tip off Marinette's parents and extend an invitation for them to tag along. As for Gabriel Agreste…" Alya made a disgusted face. "If you want to be the one to call him and say his son is alive, be my guest."

Nino held up his hands in surrender. "No thanks, hun. I'm not opening that can of worms. Guess Gabriel Agreste ain't getting told."

Alya smirked. "I guess not."

______________________________________________________________

After a three-hour subway ride, Alya, Nino, Tom, and Sabine stepped off with luggage in tow onto the smallest station Alya had ever seen. Winebrook had a population of barely five-hundred. There was one elementary, and one dual high school/junior high building. One hometown market store, one police station, no visitor center and two playground/park areas. There were no asphalt roads. On the bright side, it was one of the cleanest, prettiest towns Alya had ever seen. She had brought along her personal DSLR to take photos, and got shots many of the pretty, dated homes along the streets. Children ran in the road and many people stopped to ask who they were. Alya got the sense they were a close-knit community where everyone knew everyone.

They wandered up and down the roads for about ten minutes, but the town didn't seem to have an in-order numbering system. Finally, Nino stopped at a house where children's shoes were strewn across the porch to ask for directions to the Papenbrook's home. A preteen with unwashed hair and cowgirl boots led the way at her mother's request. Two kids, aged seven and four, followed her as she took them to the very last road in town. It was about a ten-minute walk from the subway station. The girl asked them all their names, where they were from, and what they did as small talk. When Alya mentioned she was a reporter, the girl scrunched her eyes up.

"Are you reporting on Christina's dresses?" She asked.

Alya shook her head, a little confused. The girl shrugged. "Christina designs dresses. Apparently, she's in with Gabriel Agreste and he does the advertising for some of her designs. She does prom dresses for some of the girls in town."

Nino choked a little. The girl studied him. He straightened up under her gaze. Finally, she looked back at Tom and Sabine. "You say you're bakers?" She asked. "Christina can bake really well. She always donates cakes and cupcakes to the school bake sell. Mom commissioned her to make my birthday cake last year."

Alya kept her mouth shut. Designing and baking… sounded like Marinette had included herself into the community.

Their new friend took them to the very last house on the very last road in town. The houses here were newer or remodeled.

The house she left them at had tan stucco with dark brown shingles and white trim. The windows were rectangular, and the door was made of stained wood. There was a sidewalk path leading up to the porch and a gravel driveway. The house had a large, grassy yard with rose bushes under the windows and a large tree growing about ten feet from the house. A rope swing and a treehouse were supported by the tree's large branches. A group of kids was playing in the yard with Nerf Guns, Barbies, and Lincoln Logs. The oldest kids were around ten, and the youngest around two. At least fifteen kids were hanging out at the Papenbrook house.

The kids looked up when Nino opened the white gate but overall ignored them. They continued with their game, giving a few curious looks but asking no questions. The four adults wheeled their suitcases up to the door. Alya pressed the buzzer and then fidgeted as they waited for the door to open.

There were footsteps behind the door, and a woman nearing middle-age with a head full of black, wavy hair opened the door. Marinette was looking over her shoulder as a complaining toddler followed her toward the door. Alya inhaled sharply.

Marinette looked at her guests and her welcoming smile dropped off her face. "Alya?" She asked. The years melted away, and suddenly Alya felt like the nineteen-year-old girl who'd gotten off a FaceTime call with her best friend after the boy in their class committed suicide. She hiccupped and reached out for a hug without a single word.

[ben-winch-writer-rocker]

Last Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Album?

I’m trying to think why AC/DC’s Powerage is not in my Top 5. It may seem a trivial question, but what’s the point in a Top 5 if it doesn’t make you think about why what goes on the list goes on the list? I mean, MBV’s Loveless over Powerage, on a list of rock albums?! Powerage is the quintessential rock album. Loveless? It’s barely rock at all, which I guess is the point: I want a list that expands rock, that pulls it in all directions. Point One. And Point Two: it could be that Powerage is a little too infectious. Lately, several AC/DC classics have started to obsess me: “Sin City”, “Gone Shootin’”, “Gimme a Bullet”. Don’t get me wrong, these are great, great songs, but I guess it comes down to whether I want to be obsessed. I’ve learned most of the album on guitar—Malcolm Young’s parts, at least—whereas I’ve only ever taken half-hearted stabs at learning Loveless. (Then again, Kevin Shields’s parts are less-easily reproduced.) So I’m in a quandry. Powerage? Best rock album ever, I sometimes think. But then at other times I’ve had enough. 

It’s not mysterious, I guess that’s one thing. Aside from “Gone Shootin’”, every song here gives itself up immediately to deconstruction—you can pretty much see Malcolm’s fingers on the fretboard. It’s minimalist, aside from Angus’s solos, and that’s one of its strengths. It’s cooked down—pressure-cooked. As disciplined as Joy Division, as Slint—I really love that aspect. The clarity too—the lack of bullshit. It’s dry, clean, in-your-face but not too much so (not like Nirvana’s Nevermind, say—a cartoon, a video-game soundtrack; and hey, I like Nevermind). And it’s damn near incredible how many permutations AC/DC can manufacture from so few ingredients. If it’s innovative—and I think it is—it’s because of how much it achieves with so little. It’s refined, if you can believe that. And tasteful, in a way I don’t think AC/DC were before or have been since. (Highway to Hell, for eg, is far from tasteful: it’s just too obvious.)

Bon Scott’s in fine form here too. His lyrics are real-seeming, autobiographical; they tell a story. And though at first listen his melodies, such as they are, seem hewn from the same rock as always—minor pentatonic, rarely more than three notes clustered around the tonic, blurted phrases rather than fluid, long lines (unlike, say, “Smells Like teen Spirit”)—on the other hand his little curlicues and ad-libbed Major flourishes have real style. It’s a singalong album, if you can reach his range. Which of course could be said of all AC/DC albums—they are, in a sense, a pop band, if a diabolically heavy one—but here there’s just enough mystery to keep me coming back.

As to the heaviness, sure, I know these days that seems to mean a fat bottom-end, heavy-hitting, slow and ponderous. Sabbath has a lot to answer for (and despite AC/DC’s fame, I have to think Sabbath were more influential). But for straight-up adrenalised raw power, despite that drummer Phil Rudd plays sometimes so soft it’s like he’s using Rutes, this is seriously hard to beat. “Riff Raff”, man! The last mushroom trip I took—the bad one—I put on “Riff Raff” to try give me some balls and felt like I never came down again. It’s Chuck Berry to the power ten. But then Rudd can reign it right back in—like, say, in “Down Payment Blues”, which builds and explodes and then settles right back down; or “Sin City”, a masterclass in how simple dynamics (the slow-smashed intro, the cymbal-on-the-snare chorus, the kick-on-the-snare breakdown) can make a straightforward song a journey. How do they do it? Like, say, U2, this is a band that, on the surface, doesn’t have a whole lot of tricks in its arsenal. But dig deeper and every one of those simple, even hackneyed manoeuvres proves itself to be priceless. What they do, they do well, better than anyone. Best of all, they’re a team. They listen to each other. Every single player hangs back and holds the groove till he’s needed. Angus excepted, these are some of the most self-effacing players in rock history. And Angus? A virtuoso, a genius. The perfect blend of rootsy and histrionic—part Berry, part Beck. And the bit I like best: he’s not afraid to get crazy, to chuck in nasty bursts of noise (like his climbing up the neck at the climax of “Let There Be Rock”, a trick he repeats here in the fade-out to the brilliant “What’s Next to the Moon”). (Did I mention, it was actually the solo in “Riff Raff” that shot me to the sky. I can still hear it now, an infernal choir of unrelenting white noise.)

Conclusion? I guess it’s all down to what I think I’m doing here, what this blog is for, why I’m writing this. On the scale of “pure rock” albums, Powerage may well be #1, eclipsing even Raw Power (which, after all, is a kind of a prototype—unfinished, malformed—whereas Powerage is near-perfect). But maybe that’s the point: maybe I like prototypical: I like albums that suggest more than they achieve (like Loveless, which—I’m with Kevin Shields here—is to some extent a beautiful misfire, an idea of what a rock album could be, rather than that rock album itself). What this blog is, then, is theory—an attempt to ascertain what can be made from all this potential. Why is Joy Division’s Closer still my go-to genius album 30 years after I first heard it? Because I don’t think anyone’s really taken up its challenge. Powerage? To the casual listener it probably sounds just like every other AC/DC album. The fact that it’s more like the end of an era (the last album they’d record with George Young, for one thing, and btw George cooks on bass—he’s here, if you ask me, on “Gimme a Bullet” and “Gone Shootin’”) doesn’t lessen its impact. For the purposes of Rock Theory, it ain’t Top 5. But as far as rock history goes, it may be the last great rock ’n’ roll album.

[bill6p22leal350-blog]

Investigating Rapid Tactics For Hand Chalk

Rudimentary Secrets For Liquid Chalk Canada Suggestions

There is more to fitness that exercising at the gym. You need an abundant amount of know-how and dedication to see results in your fitness plan. These great tips provided could help improve your own fitness routine. Get yourself a personal trainer if you feel like you need one because you're new at working out. He or she can show you how to use equipment properly, and can also help you to make a fitness plan. The first time you go to the gym might be intimidating, but it can be less so if you learn the ropes from a professional. This is a great way to start your fitness plan off. If you find a workout regimen you find enjoyable you will be more likely to stick with it. If you look forward to your workout, you'll stay with it for the long haul. Walking is a very effective activity for boosting fitness. For increased effort, walk by pushing off your heel and going to your toe. Work your arms as well, by bending the elbows and swinging your arms with each step you take. To tone up your triceps, you should try to do some simple push-ups. But, rather than doing a typical push up, you can get the best results by facing your hands inward at a 45 degree angle, making your fingers face one another. When you do pushups this way, you'll have the triceps targeted and strengthened more effectively. Endless crunches do not necessarily equal a six pack. You aren't going to lose tummy fat with abdominal exercise, but you can make your muscles stronger. The way to achieve washboard abs is to reduce the total amount of fat in your body by implementing an improved diet and lots of cardiovascular training. A good way to enhance your tennis game or racquetball game is to strengthen your forearms. Find a flat surface and lay a large section of newspaper on top. Work at rumpling up the whole newspaper for half a minute. Use your dominant hand. After repeating this exercise twice, switch hands and perform the same action once, then twice more with your dominant hand. If you've hired a personal trainer, you can improve your odds for success by paying for his services up front. This should motivate you stick through a program, since you already paid for it. Better than paying after each session. The reason is that you are already out of pocket for the price of the session. Because you will wish to avoid wasting money, your attendance at the workout is far more probable. Box squats are a fantastic exercise to consider for strong quadriceps. Box squats can improve your regular squats. The only additional equipment required for box squats is a box that you put behind your rear while doing squats. Squat like normal, but stop for a moment when you're about to sit on the box. Whatever muscles you targeted the previous day should be exercised lightly. One way to keep yourself from overexercising muscles is to work tired muscles with only a portion of your normal effort. It is important to make sure you drink water often during the day. You produce heat through muscle fibers causing friction with one another, along with dehydration. As a reaction to this, your body uses your sweat glands to cool down, which causes minor dehydration. Exercising daily is one of the best ways to better your physical well-being. This will keep your muscles from atrophying and calories from adding up. As you begin exercising daily, you will make it a habit. You can work lighter some days, then harder others; this is good to not over work your body. Run with a friend. If you run with a friend--especially one who is physically fit--you will be more challenged. Running with a person who is more fit than you are can inspire you to work up to their level. Seeing someone who has reached a successful level of running can motivate you to reach the same goals. Those that are serious about fitness will take advantage of every opportunity to be more physically active. You are more likely to achieve your weight loss goals if you choose enjoyable exercise programs and a healthy diet you can live with.

A Helpful Breakdown Of Critical Criteria For Canada

But climate change, at least anecdotally, is threatening these winter lifelines. We are on Fiddlers Lake because Great Slave Lake, a few miles away, is far from frozen enough. Barely 10 inches of ice cakes the ninth-largest lake on the planet. So, on hold for as much as a month is the opening of the Dettah Ice Road – the one we had planned to see being made and to be one of the first to drive this winter. We also had arranged to put a diver under the ice to photograph us. Fiddlers is our Plan B. In the last few days, not only people but cars and snowmobiles have been through the ice on a number of lakes near Yellowknife. The fragility of the ice is the talk of shops and bars in town. At Bullock’s Bistro, we meet a diamond miner who fell through the ice a few days earlier. “One second I am walking on the ice. The next I am in the water,” he said, keeping his name to himself. “Luckily I could climb out and was near to home. But it was really scary. People die falling in.” The man whose job it is to say go or no go for the Dettah Ice Road is Garry Snyder, local winter road guru for the government of the Northwest Territories. He has an arsenal of technology to test the ice.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit http://driving.ca/volkswagen/auto-news/entertainment/building-ice-roads-getting-more-difficult-in-a-changing-climate

Every Basketball Player Has To Start Somewhere

What is the best information to know when learning about basketball? Is there some aspect of the game that would make a person become better and also love the game more? This article will give you a solid basketball information base, so by reading it you'll see spectacular results the next time you're on the court. Practice shooting free throws. It seems easy to do but surely isn't. Use the following directions to perfect free throws and practice often. Hold the ball level to your face. Picture yourself going through the shot in your mind, with the ball sinking through the net. Then try shooting the ball along the trajectory that was in your mind. To get better in your basketball game, focus on your strengths. You might not have star ability, but you can be an outstanding team player. Perfect what you can do well by practicing and developing the strengths you already have. Watching the pros play is a great way to see how great basketball players use their skills in the game. You can follow the pros in online videos, on TV and you can also attend a basketball game if there is a pro team in your area. You are sure to notice the key skills each player has mastered, and from there you can start practicing. Learn good passing by drilling often without dribbling. It's tough to play basketball minus the dribbling, and it causes you to pass accurately. Even though this is not an easy drill, you will be rewarded for your efforts during game time. If you're going to be a jump shooter, don't lift too many weights. Perimeter players don't need the muscle strength that is necessary for other team members. Some professional shooting guards made their arms so big that it started decreasing their field goal percentage. You can play basketball solo before and during the season. Basketball is sport played in teams, but there are times when no one is around to play with you. That is okay. In solo games, you can accomplish quite a bit. Work on your pivot moves or practice your free throws. You don't need other players to work on your skills. Your child should work on their core muscles if they want to become a basketball player in high school. Core muscles are comprised of the hips, lower back, and abdominal muscles. Core muscles are the connectors between arms and legs. If the core muscles are weak, basketball performance will suffer. If your core is solid, you will have greater strength in your legs. This helps with fast running and high jumping. Have other players give you information about what they think are your strengths and weaknesses. Are you skilled at something? Maybe you are nimble or you are reliably there to support them. Determine what others like about your game and fine tune those skills. These tips should help you become a better player. Are you now prepared to take on any challenge? Do you want to really improve your game based on the great information presented here? Use these tips to become a better player.

To learn more about Liquid Grip Weightlifting Chalk visit https://www.ukclimbing.com/news/press.php?id=9969

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette Drabble: Daisy Chapter Thirty-Six: Steps

There’s a Daisy Chapter Thirty-Six: Steps 

His driver Victor scowled. “You want me to take you where, Adrianka?”

Adrien’s Russian really wasn’t the best, so it was conceivable that he had just said something unintelligible. He took a deep breath and slowly repeated, “To the Couffaines’ house? Uh…the family that lives on the boat?”

The cavernous trenches of Victor’s forehead seemed to deepen, if that were truly possible. “Couffaine? That’s that—” A word in Russian that Adrien didn’t know, but it sounded angry and guttural and was mostly likely not a nice thing to be called. “—who made you cry for half a year,” Victor accused.

Adrien winced, switching back to French. “To be fair, Luka wasn’t the one who made me cry. That was my father when he threatened to ruin my friend and his entire family’s lives and careers and make Luka hate me unless I ceased all communication with him. It wasn’t Luka’s fault.”

Victor did not acknowledge Adrien’s clarification. Instead, his meat cleaver-sized hands went to his hips, and he tipped his head to the side with a suspicious frown. “Isn’t he dating little Masha from the bakery now?”

Adrien tried to smile disarmingly as he nodded, but it came out as more of a wounded grimace. “Yes. Yes, Luka and Marinette are dating.”

“And what business do you have going to see the young man dating the girl you like?”

“I was planning on seeing if he wanted to be friends again now that my father is less strict,” Adrien explained feebly.

Victor continued on in Russian. “Your father? Does your father know where you are going?”

“I told him,” Adrien fibbed, switching back to Russian so that if he were found out later, he could blame his inaccuracy on a “misunderstanding” caused by his poor language skills.

Victor leaned forward, bending at the waist to position himself eye to eye with Adrien. He arched an eyebrow. “Oh? You told him where you were going? So, if I go ask him now, he will tell me he has approved your trip to visit the Couffaine boy who broke your heart?”

“Yes,” Adrien insisted, banking on the fact that Victor would never actually go interrupt Gabriel’s work to follow up on Adrien’s lie. “Except Luka didn’t break my heart,” he clarified as an afterthought.

Victor snorted. “You are trying to tell me that you were not heartbroken two years ago?”

A sulky expression leaked through Adrien’s composed mask. “Okay, but that wasn’t Luka’s fault. That was my father’s for ripping me away from a friend who was really important to me.”

Victor nodded in a manner that indicated that he couldn’t care less whose fault it was. “Yes, yes.”

Suddenly a sausage-sized finger was being wagged in Adrien’s face. “Adrianka, I love you dearly, but—” An idiom that Adrien surmised meant something like “so help me God”. “—if I have to listen to you banging on that piano at all hours and sobbing into your pillow when you think no one can hear again…” he trailed off dangerously, crossing his arms over his chest.

Adrien flinched, shrinking as the tips of his ears turned pink.

Victor’s voice softened as he sighed and laid a giant palm on Adrien’s shoulder. “I am sick of Chopin,” he confessed gently. “I am even more sick of listening to you in pain, knowing there is nothing I can do to fix it for you. Do not put yourself in situations where you will be hurt, Adrianka.”

Adrien’s apprehension melted at the warmth and affection in his bodyguard’s words. With a bright smile, he threw his arms as far around Victor’s torso as they would reach, wrapping his steadfast companion in what would have been a crushing hug on anyone else.

“Thanks, Vitya,” he mumbled into Victor’s chest.

Victor sighed again, patting Adrien on the back. “Yes, yes. All right. Yes. Enough with the mushiness. It is nothing. I am simply tired of Chopin. I wish never to hear that brooding man’s melancholy coming from your piano ever again.”

Adrien pulled back and repeated, “Thank you…for caring about me.”

Victor rolled his eyes, affecting indifference and professional stoicism as he patted Adrien on the head. “This is not what I am paid for. This is not in my job description.”

Adrien snickered, amused at the fuss Victor was making all for show. “That’s why it means so much to me that you do care.”

Victor rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “…I am going to ask your father about you seeing this Couffaine boy,” he snorted and then actually turned and took a step towards the atelier.

Adrien’s heart dropped into his stomach. “W-Wait!”

Victor looked back at Adrien, cocking an eyebrow and smirking knowingly. “Why, Adrianka? Surely your father will confirm what you’ve told me, and then we can be on our way. What is the problem?”

Adrien grimaced.

Victor took another step and a half towards the atelier.

“Okay, fine,” Adrien sighed heavily. “You called my bluff. I just said I was meeting a friend; I didn’t say it was Luka, but in my own defence, I am legally an adult, and you guys can’t stop me from going where I want. So there,” Adrien concluded, petulantly crossing his arms in defiance.

Victor stifled a chuckle. “I look at you, and I still see that tiny, blonde, doll-like baby who I used to carry around on my shoulders. Perhaps you’ve grown too big for that now, but you will never grow so much that I stop seeing you as a child in need of my protection and mother-henning. You can be an adult when I’m dead. Until then, you’ll be hard pressed to stop me from throwing you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carting you off to someplace I determine you will be safe.—What does your photographer always say? ‘Capiche’?—Do we understand each other, Adrian Gavrillovich?”

Adrien’s face fell even further, and his arms dropped helplessly to his sides. He nodded dejectedly. “Yes, Vitya…but…I’m going anyway. I mean, I’ll go even if I have to sneak out, but…in case this all blows up in my face and I have a panic attack or emotional breakdown or something…I would really rather you drive me…please?” He peered up pleadingly at his bodyguard with the most pathetic, sad puppy-dog eyes he had in his arsenal.

Victor sighed heavily, scrubbing his face with a massive hand. “…Adrianka, this is not a good idea. Why do you want to do this so soon after you’ve had your heart broken?”

Adrien bit his lip and switched back to French to make certain that he expressed himself clearly. “I think repairing things with Luka will help.”

Victor crossed his arms, but he tipped his head slightly and cocked an eyebrow to show that he was listening.

Adrien took a measured breath and continued, “When I was hanging out with him and his family before, I felt…like I belonged…like I was okay how I was, even though I had a lot of issues. Luka still liked me on my bad days. It didn’t matter if I was crying over a fight with Dad or if I was an anxious wreck over an upcoming fencing tournament or piano recital. Whatever I was feeling was fine. Whenever I was in good spirits, we’d hang out and have fun, but whenever I was a mess, he’d sit with me and let me cry, comfort me, help me to talk it out. …I think I could really use a friend like that in my life right now. Everyone else has been great,” Adrien rushed to assure, “but Luka always seemed to get me…and it couldn’t hurt to have another friend, could it?”

Victor pursed his lips, weighing Adrien’s arguments. “What if he’s changed? What if he’s not the boy you knew anymore?”

Adrien frowned, caught off guard momentarily. “He…It didn’t seem like he’d changed much the other night when I saw him at Chloé’s party. And he texted me yesterday to apologize for the misunderstanding and make sure I was okay. I’m sure he’s not exactly the same, but I can’t imagine Luka changing all that drastically in just two years.”

Victor shook his head slowly. “Adrianka, perhaps under normal circumstances it would be good for you to rekindle your friendship with the Couffaine boy now that your father is easing up on restrictions, but I do not see this going well, you trying to befriend the boy that the girl you like chose over you. This ends poorly.”

“I think you’re wrong,” Adrien gently insisted. “I think being friends with Marinette’s boyfriend could be a good thing.”

Victor gave Adrien a look that said that he thought Adrien was delusional, but Victor did not verbally respond, letting Adrien continue.

Adrien let out a soft, frustrated sigh and forged forward. “Look, ever since things first blew up with Marinette, my friend group has been divided. Alya has been trying to split her time between us, but the reality is that she’s Marinette’s best friend, so she feels like she has to be on Marinette’s ‘side’, so I’ve hardly seen Alya in two months. I don’t want there to be ‘sides’. I don’t want to cause a rift. I don’t want to not be invited to things because Luka and Marinette are going to be there. Sunday was Marinette’s graduation party, and she didn’t invite me. She didn’t even tell me about it because—I don’t know—maybe it was because Luka was going to be there and she wasn’t ready to tell me they were dating. Maybe it was because she still needed space or whatever, but the point is that I was excluded because of the mess between me and Marinette.” His voice dipped low, cracking.

His gaze dropped to the floor. “That’s not a good feeling. I don’t know how many other graduation parties I wasn’t invited to because of this, but I don’t want to be left out any more than I already am. If I’m friends with Luka, if everybody can see that things are okay, that there doesn’t have to be an Adrien side and a Marinette side, maybe things can slowly go back to normal. Maybe being friends with Luka will help me be friends with Marinette again too. I just…” Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Victor’s gaze imploringly. “More than anything, I want some kind of normal again.”

Victor nodded slowly, resignedly, a look of deep compassion in his eyes. “I don’t know that this is the way to go about it, but…I’m not about to let you go alone to find out the hard way that this is a bad idea. I wouldn’t want you getting upset and falling off a roof on your way back. I don’t trust that suit of yours to protect you.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as he realized that of course Victor knew. The man had only spent the better part of nearly every day of the past decade within shouting distance of Adrien. Victor would have been a poor bodyguard if he hadn’t picked up on his charge’s secret.

“Go wait around front, Adrianka,” Victor instructed, giving Adrien a gentle pat on the head. “I’ll bring the car around, but if this goes badly and your father asks why I took you, I’m going to—” An idiomatic expression that Adrien did not understand but surmised from context to mean something like “throw you under the bus”. “—and tell him you swore up and down that you had his express permission to go.”

“I think I can live with that,” Adrien snickered and started to make his way out front to wait.

 “Forgive me,” Nooroo’s disembodied voice whispered from inside Adrien’s right shoulder as they waited for Victor to bring the car. “but yesterday I thought that you told Ladybug that you did not wish to be her friend any longer and needed some space and some time.”

Adrien blinked, frowning down in confusion at the offending shoulder as he fiddled with his ring and readjusted his tie. “Yeah? What about it?” he whispered back gently.

“Just now, you told your guard that you wanted to rekindle your friendship with Monsieur Couffaine so that it would facilitate rebuilding your friendship with Miss Dupain-Cheng. I am just a little confused about this development. Do we wish to be friends with Miss Dupain-Cheng now?”

A florid blush burst forth on Adrien’s cheeks, and he looked away, mumbling, “No. Not right now, no.”

“He just knows he’s going to change his mind,” Plagg snickered helpfully from within Adrien’s left shoulder.

“I’m allowed to change my mind if I want,” Adrien grumbled sullenly. “Human beings often say one thing and then turn around and do another. It’s not that I have changed my mind…just that I can.”

“Of course you can,” Plagg agreed more gently, easing up on his chosen.

“Of course, Adrien-bocchama,” Nooroo echoed.

Adrien took a deep breath, trying to re-center himself. “For right now, though, I’d kind of like to focus on the task at hand. I’m not one hundred percent certain what’s going to happen with Luka, and I’d like to concentrate on him before I really start thinking about the dizzying prospect of being just friends with the girl I am madly in love with.”

[fadingfartconnoisseur]

UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights

Hello everyone!

Happy Thursday! I’m currently leading a tour around Austin (if you’re in town, come to the BBQ tomorrow) but here’s just a quick update today, as I have two big announcements:

First, the Nomadic Network tour is back! A few months ago we started doing a “beta” test of community meetups in preparation for our September launch of a new global community event program (more on that later, like in September). We learned a lot during the first go-round on how to make the meetups better, and we’re doing another mini-tour at the end of the month!

At each of the events, you’ll have a talk or presentation by me and other travelers, giving you practical advice on how to travel on a budget and create a life outside the box, followed by a social hour to meet like-minded folks! The goal of these events is to take this amazing online community offline and into real life!

Here are our next dates:

June 28th – Miami | Sign Up Here June 29th – New Orleans | Sign Up Here July 5th – Houston | Sign Up Here July 6th – Denver | Sign Up Here July 9th – Vancouver | Sign Up Here July 10th – Toronto | Sign Up Here

The cost of each event is $6 USD. We’re not doing this for profit. It’s purely to cover the cost of the event spaces. However, anyone who attends the events gets 10% off any books we sell on the website to help offset the cost of admission.

You can sign up through the Eventbrite links above. Note: You will need to register in advance as we will NOT be collecting any money at the door.

******

Second, I’ve updated my guide to travel hacking. Travel hacking, the art of using points and miles for free travel, is one of the most important tools in the budget traveler’s arsenal. It’s how I travel so often for so cheap. (I flew back home this week on Lufthansa first-class using points.) Every year, I earn and burn over a million points for first-class flights, business-class flights, a trip for my parents, free hotel stays, and much more!

The new edition of the book reflects changes in travel hacking methods over the last six months. I’ve updated loyalty program requirements and rules, credit card bonus information, links, phone numbers, and everything in between to reflect recent changes and mergers in frequent flier and hotel loyalty programs, as well as the credit card programs themselves. I also removed old and outdated information from the book. (Ya know, all the little things you do when you update a guidebook!)

But beyond that, I ADDED a lot of new advice, tips, and tricks to help you better navigate this world so you can maximize your points and rewards at a time when airlines are slashing their loyalty program perks. Here’s what’s new:

A spreadsheet that tells you what cards to use when you want to fly a certain airline (I created this detailed spreadsheet. You won’t find it anywhere else!)

A more detailed section on redeeming miles, including tips on how to know what program and cards to use for each redemption

A more detailed section on credit cards, including added information for people with no or low credit

More ways to earn double or triple miles on your everyday spending (why get one point when you can learn how to get five!)

A new section on gift card and merchandise reselling to generate points and meet card minimum-spending requirements

How to use PayPal to pay your bills — and generate free points from it

How to fund bank accounts with your credit card — and generate free points from it

A more detailed resource list

A spreadsheet of the latest deals

More detailed, step-by-step breakdowns of all the information in the book and how to put it into practice

And a whole bunch more!

All that translates into over 30 pages of new content!

The book is still $29.99 and comes with a 180-day guarantee. I promise you’ll get at least one free flight through travel hacking, and if you don’t, I’ll give you a full refund! I’m that confident this stuff works. Here some of the successes other buyers had with the book:

Michael: “I bought the guide a few months ago and was able to book a one-way flight from New York to Saint Petersburg for 30,000 miles and $5.60! Matt lays out a great plan on finding the best card for you, how to use it to its full advantage, and quickly building up air miles. The easy explanations and layout take a potentially complicated topic and makes it easy to understand. I would gladly recommend it to anyone with the slightest desire to travel!”

Rusty: “Matt’s guide has unlocked a whole new way to travel. His book was an eye-opener — it explained the concept and language of travel hacking in a way that is easy to read and understand. Since buying his book six months ago, I have accumulated nearly 300,000 points. Now, I’m repeating the steps for my wife so we can have double the miles for our future trips!”

Lisa: “I always thought credit cards were bad, but after reading this book, I realized that they can actually work for you, not against you! After following Matt’s advice, I now have two free airline tickets to the US Virgin Islands and I am asking myself, why didn’t I start doing this years ago?! If you are dreaming of traveling more, this book is a must-read. I used to be a real skeptic, but I see that it really does work and it doesn’t ruin your credit!!!”

Jennifer: “Matt’s book was an eye-opener for us. We’d been slogging along, getting 1 point for $1 spent on an airline credit card, and we aren’t big spenders, so it seemed like getting enough miles for a trip would take forever. Well, three months after getting the book and using the techniques mentioned, we are planning a trip to Thailand with a free stopover in Tokyo! Thank you, Matt!

Cindy: Matt’s travel-hacking book was a great purchase. It was really informative and covered a lot of different aspects of travel hacking that we were not even aware of or thinking about. Matt explains everything very well and makes it really easy for readers to understand. Thanks to Matt’s book, we are on our way to getting a free flight to South America!

If you already bought a previous version of this book, an update link has already been sent to you! Yup, you also get free updates for life when you buy the book. It doesn’t matter when you buy it. If I make a new edition ten years from now, you’ll still get an update link!

Travel hacking isn’t about making you sign up for a lot of credit cards, creating extra work, or having you figure out complicated loyalty programs. This book will show you how, in just a few hours a week, you can turn your day-to-day spending into free travel and hotel stays for the rest of your life. So if you’re ready to stop spending a lot of money on your flights and start making your dream trips happen, you can order the book right now by clicking right here.

(Or, if you still want learn more about the book, you can click here for added information)

Either way, don’t leave free travel on the table. Don’t let fear, uncertainty, or disbelief keep you from learning this essential aspect of budget travel. Because when you travel hack, the world truly becomes your oyster, money is of no concern, and life offers seats, lounges, and meals like this:

There’s a lot of information on the web about travel hacking but information isn’t enough. You need to know how to distill it all and turn it into action. This guide does that. If you’re ready to stop spending money on flights and hotels, travel in comfort, and actually enjoy the flying experience, pick up this book today.

Because once you take money out of the equation, the world truly is your oyster.

– Matt P.S. – If you have any questions, send me an email at matt@nomadicmatt.com

The post UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

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[touristguidebuzz]

UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights

Hello everyone!

Happy Thursday! I’m currently leading a tour around Austin (if you’re in town, come to the BBQ tomorrow) but here’s just a quick update today, as I have two big announcements:

First, the Nomadic Network tour is back! A few months ago we started doing a “beta” test of community meetups in preparation for our September launch of a new global community event program (more on that later, like in September). We learned a lot during the first go-round on how to make the meetups better, and we’re doing another mini-tour at the end of the month!

At each of the events, you’ll have a talk or presentation by me and other travelers, giving you practical advice on how to travel on a budget and create a life outside the box, followed by a social hour to meet like-minded folks! The goal of these events is to take this amazing online community offline and into real life!

Here are our next dates:

June 28th – Miami | Sign Up Here June 29th – New Orleans | Sign Up Here July 5th – Houston | Sign Up Here July 6th – Denver | Sign Up Here July 9th – Vancouver | Sign Up Here July 10th – Toronto | Sign Up Here

The cost of each event is $6 USD. We’re not doing this for profit. It’s purely to cover the cost of the event spaces. However, anyone who attends the events gets 10% off any books we sell on the website to help offset the cost of admission.

You can sign up through the Eventbrite links above. Note: You will need to register in advance as we will NOT be collecting any money at the door.

******

Second, I’ve updated my guide to travel hacking. Travel hacking, the art of using points and miles for free travel, is one of the most important tools in the budget traveler’s arsenal. It’s how I travel so often for so cheap. (I flew back home this week on Lufthansa first-class using points.) Every year, I earn and burn over a million points for first-class flights, business-class flights, a trip for my parents, free hotel stays, and much more!

The new edition of the book reflects changes in travel hacking methods over the last six months. I’ve updated loyalty program requirements and rules, credit card bonus information, links, phone numbers, and everything in between to reflect recent changes and mergers in frequent flier and hotel loyalty programs, as well as the credit card programs themselves. I also removed old and outdated information from the book. (Ya know, all the little things you do when you update a guidebook!)

But beyond that, I ADDED a lot of new advice, tips, and tricks to help you better navigate this world so you can maximize your points and rewards at a time when airlines are slashing their loyalty program perks. Here’s what’s new:

A spreadsheet that tells you what cards to use when you want to fly a certain airline (I created this detailed spreadsheet. You won’t find it anywhere else!)

A more detailed section on redeeming miles, including tips on how to know what program and cards to use for each redemption

A more detailed section on credit cards, including added information for people with no or low credit

More ways to earn double or triple miles on your everyday spending (why get one point when you can learn how to get five!)

A new section on gift card and merchandise reselling to generate points and meet card minimum-spending requirements

How to use PayPal to pay your bills — and generate free points from it

How to fund bank accounts with your credit card — and generate free points from it

A more detailed resource list

A spreadsheet of the latest deals

More detailed, step-by-step breakdowns of all the information in the book and how to put it into practice

And a whole bunch more!

All that translates into over 30 pages of new content!

The book is still $29.99 and comes with a 180-day guarantee. I promise you’ll get at least one free flight through travel hacking, and if you don’t, I’ll give you a full refund! I’m that confident this stuff works. Here some of the successes other buyers had with the book:

Michael: “I bought the guide a few months ago and was able to book a one-way flight from New York to Saint Petersburg for 30,000 miles and $5.60! Matt lays out a great plan on finding the best card for you, how to use it to its full advantage, and quickly building up air miles. The easy explanations and layout take a potentially complicated topic and makes it easy to understand. I would gladly recommend it to anyone with the slightest desire to travel!”

Rusty: “Matt’s guide has unlocked a whole new way to travel. His book was an eye-opener — it explained the concept and language of travel hacking in a way that is easy to read and understand. Since buying his book six months ago, I have accumulated nearly 300,000 points. Now, I’m repeating the steps for my wife so we can have double the miles for our future trips!”

Lisa: “I always thought credit cards were bad, but after reading this book, I realized that they can actually work for you, not against you! After following Matt’s advice, I now have two free airline tickets to the US Virgin Islands and I am asking myself, why didn’t I start doing this years ago?! If you are dreaming of traveling more, this book is a must-read. I used to be a real skeptic, but I see that it really does work and it doesn’t ruin your credit!!!”

Jennifer: “Matt’s book was an eye-opener for us. We’d been slogging along, getting 1 point for $1 spent on an airline credit card, and we aren’t big spenders, so it seemed like getting enough miles for a trip would take forever. Well, three months after getting the book and using the techniques mentioned, we are planning a trip to Thailand with a free stopover in Tokyo! Thank you, Matt!

Cindy: Matt’s travel-hacking book was a great purchase. It was really informative and covered a lot of different aspects of travel hacking that we were not even aware of or thinking about. Matt explains everything very well and makes it really easy for readers to understand. Thanks to Matt’s book, we are on our way to getting a free flight to South America!

If you already bought a previous version of this book, an update link has already been sent to you! Yup, you also get free updates for life when you buy the book. It doesn’t matter when you buy it. If I make a new edition ten years from now, you’ll still get an update link!

Travel hacking isn’t about making you sign up for a lot of credit cards, creating extra work, or having you figure out complicated loyalty programs. This book will show you how, in just a few hours a week, you can turn your day-to-day spending into free travel and hotel stays for the rest of your life. So if you’re ready to stop spending a lot of money on your flights and start making your dream trips happen, you can order the book right now by clicking right here.

(Or, if you still want learn more about the book, you can click here for added information)

Either way, don’t leave free travel on the table. Don’t let fear, uncertainty, or disbelief keep you from learning this essential aspect of budget travel. Because when you travel hack, the world truly becomes your oyster, money is of no concern, and life offers seats, lounges, and meals like this:

There’s a lot of information on the web about travel hacking but information isn’t enough. You need to know how to distill it all and turn it into action. This guide does that. If you’re ready to stop spending money on flights and hotels, travel in comfort, and actually enjoy the flying experience, pick up this book today.

Because once you take money out of the equation, the world truly is your oyster.

– Matt P.S. – If you have any questions, send me an email at matt@nomadicmatt.com

The post UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

[tamboradventure]

UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights

Hello everyone!

Happy Thursday! I’m currently leading a tour around Austin (if you’re in town, come to the BBQ tomorrow) but here’s just a quick update today, as I have two big announcements:

First, the Nomadic Network tour is back! A few months ago we started doing a “beta” test of community meetups in preparation for our September launch of a new global community event program (more on that later, like in September). We learned a lot during the first go-round on how to make the meetups better, and we’re doing another mini-tour at the end of the month!

At each of the events, you’ll have a talk or presentation by me and other travelers, giving you practical advice on how to travel on a budget and create a life outside the box, followed by a social hour to meet like-minded folks! The goal of these events is to take this amazing online community offline and into real life!

Here are our next dates:

June 28th – Miami | Sign Up Here June 29th – New Orleans | Sign Up Here July 5th – Houston | Sign Up Here July 6th – Denver | Sign Up Here July 9th – Vancouver | Sign Up Here July 10th – Toronto | Sign Up Here

The cost of each event is $6 USD. We’re not doing this for profit. It’s purely to cover the cost of the event spaces. However, anyone who attends the events gets 10% off any books we sell on the website to help offset the cost of admission.

You can sign up through the Eventbrite links above. Note: If you do not sign up beforehand, you won’t be able to attend as we will NOT be collecting any money at the door. So be sure to sign up in advance!

******

Second, I’ve updated my guide to travel hacking. Travel hacking, the art of using points and miles for free travel, is one of the most important tools in the budget traveler’s arsenal. It’s how I travel so often for so cheap. (I flew back home this week on Lufthansa first-class using points. Take a look here!) Every year, I earn and burn over a million points for first-class flights, business-class flights, a trip for my parents, free hotel stays, and much more!

The new edition of the book reflects changes in travel hacking methods over the last six months. I’ve updated loyalty program requirements and rules, credit card bonus information, links, phone numbers, and everything in between to reflect recent changes and mergers in frequent flier and hotel loyalty programs, as well as the credit card programs themselves. I also removed old and outdated information from the book. (Ya know, all the little things you do when you update a guidebook!)

But beyond that, I ADDED a lot of new advice, tips, and tricks to help you better navigate this world so you can maximize your points and rewards at a time when airlines are slashing their loyalty program perks. Here’s what’s new:

A spreadsheet that tells you what cards to use when you want to fly a certain airline (I created this detailed spreadsheet. You won’t find it anywhere else!)

A more detailed section on redeeming miles, including tips on how to know what program and cards to use for each redemption

A more detailed section on credit cards, including added information for people with no or low credit

More ways to earn double or triple miles on your everyday spending (why get one point when you can learn how to get five!)

A new section on gift card and merchandise reselling to generate points and meet card minimum-spending requirements

How to use PayPal to pay your bills — and generate free points from it

How to fund bank accounts with your credit card — and generate free points from it

A more detailed resource list

A spreadsheet of the latest deals

More detailed, step-by-step breakdowns of all the information in the book and how to put it into practice

And a whole bunch more!

All that translates into over 30 pages of new content!

The book is still $29.99 and comes with a 180-day guarantee. I promise you’ll get at least one free flight through travel hacking, and if you don’t, I’ll give you a full refund! I’m that confident this stuff works. Here some of the successes other buyers had with the book:

Michael: “I bought the guide a few months ago and was able to book a one-way flight from New York to Saint Petersburg for 30,000 miles and $5.60! Matt lays out a great plan on finding the best card for you, how to use it to its full advantage, and quickly building up air miles. The easy explanations and layout take a potentially complicated topic and makes it easy to understand. I would gladly recommend it to anyone with the slightest desire to travel!”

Rusty: “Matt’s guide has unlocked a whole new way to travel. His book was an eye-opener — it explained the concept and language of travel hacking in a way that is easy to read and understand. Since buying his book six months ago, I have accumulated nearly 300,000 points. Now, I’m repeating the steps for my wife so we can have double the miles for our future trips!”

Lisa: “I always thought credit cards were bad, but after reading this book, I realized that they can actually work for you, not against you! After following Matt’s advice, I now have two free airline tickets to the US Virgin Islands and I am asking myself, why didn’t I start doing this years ago?! If you are dreaming of traveling more, this book is a must-read. I used to be a real skeptic, but I see that it really does work and it doesn’t ruin your credit!!!”

Jennifer: “Matt’s book was an eye-opener for us. We’d been slogging along, getting 1 point for $1 spent on an airline credit card, and we aren’t big spenders, so it seemed like getting enough miles for a trip would take forever. Well, three months after getting the book and using the techniques mentioned, we are planning a trip to Thailand with a free stopover in Tokyo! Thank you, Matt!

Cindy: Matt’s travel-hacking book was a great purchase. It was really informative and covered a lot of different aspects of travel hacking that we were not even aware of or thinking about. Matt explains everything very well and makes it really easy for readers to understand. Thanks to Matt’s book, we are on our way to getting a free flight to South America!

If you already bought a previous version of this book, an update link has already been sent to you! Yup, you also get free updates for life when you buy the book. It doesn’t matter when you buy it. If I make a new edition ten years from now, you’ll still get an update link!

Travel hacking isn’t about making you sign up for a lot of credit cards, creating extra work, or having you figure out complicated loyalty programs. This book will show you how, in just a few hours a week, you can turn your day-to-day spending into free travel and hotel stays for the rest of your life. So if you’re ready to stop spending a lot of money on your flights and start making your dream trips happen, you can order the book right now by clicking right here.

(Or, if you still want learn more about the book, you can click here for added information)

Either way, don’t leave free travel on the table. Don’t let fear, uncertainty, or disbelief keep you from learning this essential aspect of budget travel. Because when you travel hack, the world truly becomes your oyster, money is of no concern, and life offers seats, lounges, and meals like this:

There’s a lot of information on the web about travel hacking but information isn’t enough. You need to know how to distill it all and turn it into action. This guide does that. If you’re ready to stop spending money on flights and hotels, travel in comfort, and actually enjoy the flying experience, pick up this book today.

Because once you take money out of the equation, the world truly is your oyster.

– Matt P.S. – If you have any questions, send me an email at matt@nomadicmatt.com

The post UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

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[vidovicart]

UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights

Hello everyone!

Happy Thursday! I’m currently leading a tour around Austin (if you’re in town, come to the BBQ tomorrow) but here’s just a quick update today, as I have two big announcements:

First, the Nomadic Network tour is back! A few months ago we started doing a “beta” test of community meetups in preparation for our September launch of a new global community event program (more on that later, like in September). We learned a lot during the first go-round on how to make the meetups better, and we’re doing another mini-tour at the end of the month!

At each of the events, you’ll have a talk or presentation by me and other travelers, giving you practical advice on how to travel on a budget and create a life outside the box, followed by a social hour to meet like-minded folks! The goal of these events is to take this amazing online community offline and into real life!

Here are our next dates:

June 28th – Miami | Sign Up Here June 29th – New Orleans | Sign Up Here July 5th – Houston | Sign Up Here July 6th – Denver | Sign Up Here July 9th – Vancouver | Sign Up Here July 10th – Toronto | Sign Up Here

The cost of each event is $6 USD. We’re not doing this for profit. It’s purely to cover the cost of the event spaces. However, anyone who attends the events gets 10% off any books we sell on the website to help offset the cost of admission.

You can sign up through the Eventbrite links above. Note: If you do not sign up beforehand, you won’t be able to attend as we will NOT be collecting any money at the door. So be sure to sign up in advance!

******

Second, I’ve updated my guide to travel hacking. Travel hacking, the art of using points and miles for free travel, is one of the most important tools in the budget traveler’s arsenal. It’s how I travel so often for so cheap. (I flew back home this week on Lufthansa first-class using points. Take a look here!) Every year, I earn and burn over a million points for first-class flights, business-class flights, a trip for my parents, free hotel stays, and much more!

The new edition of the book reflects changes in travel hacking methods over the last six months. I’ve updated loyalty program requirements and rules, credit card bonus information, links, phone numbers, and everything in between to reflect recent changes and mergers in frequent flier and hotel loyalty programs, as well as the credit card programs themselves. I also removed old and outdated information from the book. (Ya know, all the little things you do when you update a guidebook!)

But beyond that, I ADDED a lot of new advice, tips, and tricks to help you better navigate this world so you can maximize your points and rewards at a time when airlines are slashing their loyalty program perks. Here’s what’s new:

A spreadsheet that tells you what cards to use when you want to fly a certain airline (I created this detailed spreadsheet. You won’t find it anywhere else!)

A more detailed section on redeeming miles, including tips on how to know what program and cards to use for each redemption

A more detailed section on credit cards, including added information for people with no or low credit

More ways to earn double or triple miles on your everyday spending (why get one point when you can learn how to get five!)

A new section on gift card and merchandise reselling to generate points and meet card minimum-spending requirements

How to use PayPal to pay your bills — and generate free points from it

How to fund bank accounts with your credit card — and generate free points from it

A more detailed resource list

A spreadsheet of the latest deals

More detailed, step-by-step breakdowns of all the information in the book and how to put it into practice

And a whole bunch more!

All that translates into over 30 pages of new content!

The book is still $29.99 and comes with a 180-day guarantee. I promise you’ll get at least one free flight through travel hacking, and if you don’t, I’ll give you a full refund! I’m that confident this stuff works. Here some of the successes other buyers had with the book:

Michael: “I bought the guide a few months ago and was able to book a one-way flight from New York to Saint Petersburg for 30,000 miles and $5.60! Matt lays out a great plan on finding the best card for you, how to use it to its full advantage, and quickly building up air miles. The easy explanations and layout take a potentially complicated topic and makes it easy to understand. I would gladly recommend it to anyone with the slightest desire to travel!”

Rusty: “Matt’s guide has unlocked a whole new way to travel. His book was an eye-opener — it explained the concept and language of travel hacking in a way that is easy to read and understand. Since buying his book six months ago, I have accumulated nearly 300,000 points. Now, I’m repeating the steps for my wife so we can have double the miles for our future trips!”

Lisa: “I always thought credit cards were bad, but after reading this book, I realized that they can actually work for you, not against you! After following Matt’s advice, I now have two free airline tickets to the US Virgin Islands and I am asking myself, why didn’t I start doing this years ago?! If you are dreaming of traveling more, this book is a must-read. I used to be a real skeptic, but I see that it really does work and it doesn’t ruin your credit!!!”

Jennifer: “Matt’s book was an eye-opener for us. We’d been slogging along, getting 1 point for $1 spent on an airline credit card, and we aren’t big spenders, so it seemed like getting enough miles for a trip would take forever. Well, three months after getting the book and using the techniques mentioned, we are planning a trip to Thailand with a free stopover in Tokyo! Thank you, Matt!

Cindy: Matt’s travel-hacking book was a great purchase. It was really informative and covered a lot of different aspects of travel hacking that we were not even aware of or thinking about. Matt explains everything very well and makes it really easy for readers to understand. Thanks to Matt’s book, we are on our way to getting a free flight to South America!

If you already bought a previous version of this book, an update link has already been sent to you! Yup, you also get free updates for life when you buy the book. It doesn’t matter when you buy it. If I make a new edition ten years from now, you’ll still get an update link!

Travel hacking isn’t about making you sign up for a lot of credit cards, creating extra work, or having you figure out complicated loyalty programs. This book will show you how, in just a few hours a week, you can turn your day-to-day spending into free travel and hotel stays for the rest of your life. So if you’re ready to stop spending a lot of money on your flights and start making your dream trips happen, you can order the book right now by clicking right here.

(Or, if you still want learn more about the book, you can click here for added information)

Either way, don’t leave free travel on the table. Don’t let fear, uncertainty, or disbelief keep you from learning this essential aspect of budget travel. Because when you travel hack, the world truly becomes your oyster, money is of no concern, and life offers seats, lounges, and meals like this:

There’s a lot of information on the web about travel hacking but information isn’t enough. You need to know how to distill it all and turn it into action. This guide does that. If you’re ready to stop spending money on flights and hotels, travel in comfort, and actually enjoy the flying experience, pick up this book today.

Because once you take money out of the equation, the world truly is your oyster.

– Matt P.S. – If you have any questions, send me an email at matt@nomadicmatt.com

The post UPDATES: I’m Hosting More Speaking Events and a Newer Guide to Free Flights appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

[themanguidemg]

The Casual Fan Guide To Super Bowl 51

The Super Bowl might as well be a holiday for many of us. Families and friends gather to witness the two best teams in the country play their hearts out. Now I am not an expert or a sports writer at all, far from it. I am, however, someone that watches a lot of football and constantly keeps up with the sport through articles, highlights, stats. etc. But not everyone that watches the Super Bowl follows football closely. This is who this short guide is meant for, the casual fan who may have little to no knowledge of these two titans.

In case you’re interested in watching the game, or headed to a Super Bowl party, here is a short breakdown on the two teams so you can get familiar and further enjoy your Super Bowl experience.

Atlanta Falcons

Led by their 2nd year head coach, Dan Quinn, the Falcons soared year round and quietly posted one of the best records in the NFL (11-5). Defensively, Deion Jones (LB) and Keanu Neal (S) led all rookies in tackles this past year. The real leader of the Falcons D is 2nd year Linebacker, Vic Beasley, who lead the league in sacks (15.5). Even with the absence of their #1 CB Desmond Trufant, their secondary remains solid with Robert Alford and 2nd year cornerback Jalen Collins.

This is a team that barely received attention all year despite having one of the best offenses in the NFL. The Falcons were top 5 in every offensive category. Atlanta bolstered their offensive corps by picking up a few key free agents this past off season, which include: Alex Mack from the Browns, one of the best Centers in the league; Taylor Gabriel (Browns) and Mohammad Sanu (Bengals) which provided quality depth at Wide Receiver after letting go of the veteran Roddy White.

The ground attack consists of 2 of the most talented Running Backs in the league, Devonte Freeman and Tevin Coleman. Either of these two backs can slice up the backfield with either runs or as a receiving threat. This RB tandem helped Atlanta finish the season as #5 in rushing yards per game and #3 in rushing TDs. The variety of weapons in the Falcons’ arsenal is one of the biggest reasons why they were #1 in total points in the 2016 season.

None of this would be accomplished without their Quarterback.

QB: Matt Ryan

Matt Ryan should absolutely be the NFL MVP this year. In his 9th season, he completely dominated the league with a brutal passing attack that resulted in career highs in yards (4944), passing yards per game (309), touchdowns (38), and completion percentage (69.9%). He also led the league in passing yards per attempt (9.1) and passer rating (117.1). His abundance of reliable receivers and Kyle Shanahan’s offensive play calling let him tear up any secondary that got in his way.

Out of all his play makers, there is only one that truly stands out.

Biggest weapon: Julio Jones

Julio Jones only scored 6 TD this season and missed two games due to injury, but he’s still the most dangerous threat the Falcons have in their arsenal. This man racked up 1409 yards in only 83 receptions, which averages out to an insane 17 yards per catch. Apart from that, this is his 4th straight year in which he averages 100 yards a game, becoming the first player ever to do so. He’s been slowed down due to a lingering injuries but even if he takes the field at less than 100%, he’ll still command double teams from the Patriots secondary which will give other players the opportunity for more favorable match ups.

  New England Patriots

Yep. These guys again. The Empire of the NFL doesn’t seem to be dwindling it’s stranglehold any time soon. To top it all off, they might be a more complete team now than they’ve ever been. After an average start, the Patriots D finished the season with the least points per game allowed (15.6). Malcolm Butler is not a shut down corner yet, but he gets the job done against whatever receiver he’s covering, and he’ll need to do everything in his power to cover Julio Jones. Even though Dont’a Hightower has been banged up recently, the middle linebacker is still the Patriots defensive captain and a player which will definitely need to be accounted for.

On the Offense, LeGarrette Blount is the work horse and a complete train of a man who bulldozes through defenses and leads the league in touchdowns (18). Even on games where he is handling most of the carries, the Pats will find ways to get the ball in the hands of Dion Lewis. Lewis is a dangerous play maker who recently became the first player in post-season history to score a receiving, rushing and return TD in the same game. However, he does have a tendency to fumble the ball.

After Gronk was ruled out for the season, they’ve lacked a true receiving threat. Their #1 wide receiver, Julian Edelman, finished the season with the 4th most receptions in the league, barely cracked 1100 yards and had only 3 TDs. But that doesn’t mean much since Bill Belichick and Tom Brady can make stars out of random players. For a perfect example, look towards the AFC Championship game in which Chris Hogan caught 9 passes for 180 yards and 2 TDs.

But of course, Tom Brady is the man that makes the offense click.

QB: Tom Brady

If the Pats are indeed the NFL’s Empire, then Tom Brady is Darth Vader and he’s been force choking the league for 15 years. This man is 39 years old and he plays like he can last another 5, annoying isn’t it? After being suspended for 4 games at the beginning of the season, Brady came back with a vengeance and led NE to 11 wins and only a single loss within that time. Even putting up one of his most statistically pedestrian seasons, he’s still one of the smartest quarterbacks in the game today.

Even if Brady were to somehow get injured in the middle of the game, Belichick would still find a way to make it work.

Biggest weapon: Bill Belichick

This man is so used to winning that he holds the AFC title like someone passed him an empty bag of Doritos.

The disdain with which Bill Belichick received the Lamar Hunt trophy is truly awe inspiring http://pic.twitter.com/A6RG8eafCo

— Jason Schwartz (@JasonSchwartz) January 23, 2017

This might seem ridiculous seeing as how he’s not on the field, but the Patriots coaching is by far their biggest advantage. Whether you hate him, love him, call him a cheater, say he sold his soul to the devil, it doesn’t matter because he always finds a way to win. Under his coaching, the Patriots have only missed the playoffs three times since the year 2000. Every other time they’ve finished first in their division, made the playoffs, and gone to the Super Bowl seven times. That’s unheard of. Whenever the Dark Lord retires, he’ll be known as the greatest coach in league history.

Belichick’s entire plan consists or taking your best player out of the game plan, forcing you to beat him with the rest of your team on even ground. Apart from that, he’ll switch up his offense and make sure the opposing team is completely off guard. They seem prepared to handle Blount? Cool, just have James White and Dion Lewis tear it up as receiving threats. Covering Edelman? Hogan or some other random receiver will emerge as a break out player with 150 yards somehow. Belichick treats football like alchemy formulas and ends up with gold most times.

  Overall

I believe everyone except Patriots fans want New England to lose. Hopefully Atlanta comes out the gate hungry because a Super Bowl win will mean the world to that entire city. Still, if New England wins, it’ll be an incredible accomplishment for both Belichick and Brady. The only way the Falcons can beat the Patriots is to out coach them. Dan Quinn needs his offense better than they’ve ever been and to never fall far behind. Atlanta has enough talent on every skill position on offense to keep New England guessing. If the Patriots hold any significant lead at any point in time, then they will use Blount to grind down the Atlanta D.

Once again, this will be a Super Bowl between the #1 scoring offense (Atlanta) and the #1 scoring defense (NE). You guys remember what happened last year right? It was proof that defense wins championships as the Broncos completely demolished Cam Newton and crippled their high powered offense.

Will history repeat itself? We’ll find out on Super Bowl Sunday.

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