#I NEED THE IYAMI ONE

[crtter]

I should probably say something embarrassing about Iyami soon because I’ve got new followers due to my explanation of what is going on with X and Elon Musk and they’re probably thinking I’m cool. Therefore, I need to rip the band-aid off of this illusion so they can make an informed decision on whether putting up with my baffling taste in make believe men is worth the eventual funny or interesting post as soon as possible. I think just showing a picture of him should do, actually. ⬇️ Iyami. Minor character from that one anime with the six guys who look like Jon Arbuckle. Wishes he was French more than anything in the world. Looks bad and acts worse. I’ve been metaphorically soaking him in milk and throwing him against the wall since 2016.

[doppelmatsu]

Chapter 1 : Project Rendezvous with Stardom

Written by @lordofthesillystraws and @todd-pinefield. Header by @ilovematsunos and @shroomblade

-> Next

It was a dreary day, the sky was clouded and the rainfall was heavy. It was no day to be caught outside, but for a certain washed-up, self-proclaimed Frenchman, there was no other option.

“...Me was supposed to win, it was my idea! Those lousy sextuplets…”

There, under a bridge, with nothing but a cardboard box to call home, was Iyami. He stewed over his latest failure as he attempted to start a fire. The sparks caught on his pathetic pile of twigs, but were extinguished by a wet newspaper. Iyami muttered something under his breath as he tossed the paper aside; it seemed the world was against him today.

“If it weren’t for those damn sextuplets, me wouldn’t be here at all… If only me could start over…”

Iyami’s thoughts cut him off. Start over… He could start over. With new sextuplets, ones that would be just uninteresting enough to let him be the star. It wasn’t the worst idea he’d had, far from it.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“...What terrible weather, dasu…”

Dekapan peers out the window at the pouring rain. He turns to Dayon.

“...You didn’t leave my clothes out on the line, did you?”

“Dayon!”

Dekapan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“...Of course you did.”

The door burst open suddenly, wind and rain blowing into the laboratory. Dekapan jumps off to the side, hiding behind Dayon.

“Gentlemen!” Iyami announces his presence, straightening his stance as he stands in the doorway. “Me has a proposition, zansu.”

He steps into the laboratory with long strides, stopping in the middle of the entryway. Dekapan peeks out from behind Dayon with a ‘hoe’.

“Propo…sition, dasu?”

Iyami clasps his hands together as the doors shutter closed behind him.

  “Yes, a proposition. And me needs your help with it, zansu.”

Iyami points at Dekapan. Dayon moves out of the way, grabbing a mop to clean up the entryway. 

“Me has a plan to become the main character again, zansu,” Iyami puts his hand to his chest. “To shine in the spotlight just as I used to! Me needs you to make duplicates of those sextuplets, zansu. They will be my supporting cast, like they should have been.”

Dekapan looks at Iyami, confused.

“Clone the sextuplets, dasu?”

“Exactly that, zansu! Clone the sextuplets!”

Dekapan sighs.

“I can’t exactly ‘clone the sextuplets’, dasu. Is this because of the race?”

“Who cares what the reason is, zansu!” Iyami interrupted. “Me needs myself my own set of sextuplets to be my entourage!”

He gets on his knees and begins to grovel at Dekapan’s feet.

“Please, Dr. Dekapan!” Iyami cried. “Me just needs to be in the spotlight again, zansu! Anything to be the main character again!”

Dekapan stares down at the crying Iyami, sighing in reluctance.

“There is one way, dasu.”

Iyami immediately lifts his head up, nose runny and eyes welled with tears.

“Really, zansu?”

Dekapan nods, a solemn look on his face. Iyami sprung up from where he was kneeling.

“What is it? What is it?!”

Iyami grabbed Dekapan’s shoulders, shaking him a bit. Dekapan kept his solemn expression as he led Iyami to the door.

“It’s not an easy process… You really want to know?”

“Yes! Yes! Me wants to know, zansu!”

Dekapan opens the door for Iyami, then suddenly pushes him out.

“Come back tomorrow. The weather is awful today.”

The door slams shut. Iyami blinks, dumbfounded. After what just happened registers, he shouts, jumping up into the air.

“Sheeeeeh!! You can’t do this to me! At least let me stay, zansu!”

There is no answer from inside the lab. Iyami sighs, defeated.

“How cruel… The weather really is awful…”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The sun soon rises, starting another day in Akatsuka Ward. Dekapan wakes up bright and early, turning on the lights of his laboratory. Opening up the door to get in some fresh air, Dekapan looks down and finds a beaten-up Iyami curled up on the doorstep, fast asleep. In Iyami’s hand is a plastic bag. Picking up the bag and looking inside, Dekapan sees an assortment of random objects. A beer can, a grimy leather jacket, some cotton rounds…  These are all holders of DNA samples. Seems like Iyami really is that desperate to get back at the sextuplets. He sighs and gives Iyami a kick, startling him awake. 

“Sheeh!” Iyami exclaimed, “Who awakes me, zansu?”

Iyami looks around hastily before stopping at the doctor before him. He straightens himself up.

“Dr. Dekapan! Good morning, zansu!”

Dekapan responds with an exasperated ‘hoeh’, inviting Iyami inside once again, albeit reluctantly. He looks inside the bag again.

“I see you’ve brought some DNA samples, dasu.”

“Of course, zansu! Me figured that you would need it for cloning!”

Dekapan sets the bag down on the counter.

“That’s great, but it’s not enough, dasu.”

Iyami tilts his head, confused. Dekapan starts taking out the objects from the bag one by one.

“Such small DNA samples aren’t enough to make a full clone of a human, dasu… We’re going to need more.”

Iyami scoffs, crossing his arms.

“Tch! Like me’d be bothered to go back and steal some random garbage from those lousy sextuplets… Me already went once, me won’t go again, zansu!”

“...If you don’t want to search for more samples of the sextuplets, there is another way, dasu.”

“Sheeh?” 

Iyami tilts his head curiously.

“We can use something else, a cat, for example, to ‘fill in the blanks,’ dasu. We’ll use their DNA to make up for-”

Before Dekapan can finish, Iyami zooms out of the lab. Dekapan watches the trail of dust that was kicked up, exasperated.

“He really is that desperate, isn’t he?”

“Dayon!”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Iyami found himself surveying alleyways, front yards, anywhere he could find cats. He wasn’t… really all that sure what places stray cats usually inhabited, but apparently his whims were right on the money. Of course, being the aesthete he is, he had to find the perfect cats for his plan, ones that acted very similar to the sextuplets. As he walks past one of the alleyways, he comes across a particularly fat cat laying on the ground. A lazy cat, laying around doing nothing… Seems like a perfect candidate for an Osomatsu clone! Iyami spots a nearby garbage dump and rummages through it, finding a can of thrown out tuna and a bowl. Perfect! He opens the can to pour its contents into the bowl and tosses it to the lazy cat. The cat notices the bowl, slowly crawling over to chow down. As the cat gorges on the tuna, Iyami swipes the cat up in a garbage bag. It fights against the bag for a bit before eventually calming down and relaxing in the bag.

“Uhyohyo!” Iyami laughed. “This is a piece of cake, zansu! One cat down, five left to go!”

He walks off to survey more alleyways with the cat in the bag. The rest of the day follows the same process. Find a cat similar enough to one of the Matsunos, distract it, snatch it, and repeat until he had a total of six. Two of them did put up a bit of a fight, but Iyami was determined (and also weirdly used to cats attacking him.) Nonetheless, it seems like he’s wrangled up enough cats for Dekapan to use! Iyami makes the trek back to Dekapan’s laboratory, carrying his bounty of cats with a rather prideful smile.

“This plan is going to work, zansu! Once we make these good-for-nothing clones, I’ll finally be able to get back at those lousy sextuplets for stealing my spotlight!”

Iyami proudly knocks on Dekapan’s front door, getting an answer shortly after. Dekapan stands before him, surprised at Iyami’s dedication to this project.

“Hoeh! That was quick.”

“Uhyo~! Never underestimate me, zansu!” Iyami replies triumphantly, putting a hand to his hip and flashing a bright smile.

“Never said I did…”

Dekapan lets Iyami into the laboratory, shutting the door behind him.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Dayon and Dekapan make some preparations for the cloning operation. Dayon wipes away at the dusty exterior of a strange machine whilst Dekapan gets the cats some food, distracting them as he takes small samples of their fur.

“We have decided to repurpose one of our old machines for this, dasu.”

Dekapan gathers the clumps of fur and places them next to the Matsunos’ DNA samples. Once Dayon finishes wiping down the machine, he notifies Dekapan with a ‘Dayoon!’ before stepping away to let Dekapan work. He swabs the beer can with a cotton swab and rubs it onto a petri dish, placing the sample of the fat cat’s fur next to it. He brings the petri dish to the machine, stopping shortly to speak to Iyami.

“This machine will clone the Matsunos as best as it can, dasu. Since there isn’t a lot of the Matsunos’ DNA, there may be some differences.”

“Eh, me doesn’t care, zansu!” Iyami waves his hand dismissively. “Just as long as me can get a set of sextuplets for my entourage!”

Dekapan shrugs with a ‘hoeh’ and places the petri dish into a compartment next to the machine. With a pull of the lever, the machine analyzes the DNA before slowly building up a human body from the bottom up. Once the body is completely built, an electric shock is administered to bring it to life before it’s pushed out onto the ground. What lays on the ground now is a… Particularly larger version of Osomatsu with facial hair and longer locks.

“Uhyohyohyo!” Iyami laughs, clapping with excitement as he watches the rather dazed clone stand up. “This one looks perfect to me, zansu!”

Dekapan stares at the specimen, a bit confused.

“Hoeh… Isn’t this one a bit big, dasu?”

“Me doesn’t care! Let’s move onto the next one!”

Dekapan slides in another petri dish, and the same process happens. This time, what comes out is a slimmer version of Karamatsu with shaggy hair.

“Hoeh… Now this one’s a bit thinner-”

“Uhyoo~!” Iyami interrupts, “Don’t stop now, zansu! Keep it going! Me must have all six of them immediately!”

With a sigh, Dekapan slides in the next dish. What comes out is a version of Choromatsu with thick eyebrows and a mangy haircut. Just as Dekapan is about to bring up another issue with this specimen, Iyami interrupts.

“Don’t sweat the small details, zansu! They all look the same to me! Three left to go!”

Dekapan follows up with the rest of the DNA, three more specimens being pushed out of the machine one by one. All six line up to the side, looking at each other and around the lab, naked and confused. Dekapan and Iyami both stare at the new sextuplets. After a moment, Dekapan sighs.

“...I told you, they weren’t going to be–”

Iyami suddenly interrupts, stepping forward and pushing Dekapan back.

“Nonsense! They’re perfect! Simply magnificent! And me can tell them apart, which is even more convenient, zansu!”

Iyami then strikes a pose, pointing at the sextuplets.

“Welcome to your new role, NEETs! You are to serve under me as a group of uninteresting side characters, understand, zansu?”

Before any of them can respond, he turns around.

“Finally, me will have the spotlight all to myself once more, zansu! The world will know my name and sing my praises! Uhyohyohyo~!!”

[flowerakatsuka]

Do you have a fave hesokuri au or skit au and have you kuroba’d them 👀

HI EVAN, THANK YOU SM FOR THE ASK!!! 😊✨

and yes, i do!! a few actually, heh. i've talked a little bit about the youkai & denki mystery aus i have for kuroba before and i really love those, but i think my favorite might actually be their royalty / prince au. which i haven't really talked about before so uh. i hope you don't mind, but i'm gonna use this as a excuse to ramble about it.

i'll put my infodumping under a cut bc it might get long, but here's their designs for the au. 🤭

SO. kuroba comes from a commoner household, but because their grandfather was the royal gardener to the matsuno family and they acted as his apprentice, they've basically lived their entire life on the castle grounds in spite of their status. they've gotten to meet and come to befriend quite a few people of a higher social status than them, the most notable being the 2nd prince of the matsuno royal family, karamatsu.

they first met as children, when karamatsu ran away from his caretakers to hide in the gardens and cry by himself. kuroba had been helping with cleaning up the rose beds that day and stumbled upon him. they've always been the meddling type and can't leave others alone when they're upset so they sat with him and tried to comfort him to the best of their ability, ( even if it was just providing him company and a hand to squeeze while he cried. ) after that, karamatsu became very curious about kuroba and would often visit the gardens in the hopes of spending time with them. the two became very close over time, with him following them around the gardens as they worked and running to them whenever he needed a shoulder to cry on ( which they were always happy to provide. )

they're still very close as adults despite some things changing, like karamatsu adopting a more flashy personality to stand out more amongst his brothers and kuroba taking over their grandfather's role as royal gardener. a lot of the things stayed the same, though.

however, their close friendship starts posing some issues within the royal counsel. one of the princes having such an intimate relationship ( and obvious infatuation ) with a commoner is unsightly in the eyes of the nobility and could make them question the integrity & stability of the crown. so iyami, ( who's a sketchy noble adviser to king matsuzou, ) proposes that karamatsu be engaged to duchess dobusu to help quell the rumors going around about kuroba and him. matsuzou agrees and even though he tries to protest it, kara eventually agrees to go along with it for the sake of his family and kuroba.

when karamatsu tells them the news, kuroba takes it pretty well and congratulates him with a smile... or at least, that's the reaction he gets out of them. in reality, they're fucking devastated because they've been harboring feelings for him for years at that point. they already accepted the fact that they could never be together, but that doesn't make the reality of the situation hurt any less. still, they want to support karamatsu and be happy for them so they're taking the truth about their feelings for him to the grave. ( that's what they planned on doing, at least. )

they slowly drift apart after that ; karamatsu's visits to the gardens become less frequent, kuroba stops personally delivering fresh arrangments to karamatsu's quarters, they barely even greet each other when crossing paths. it doesn't help that iyami got into kuroba's ear, warning them that they should keep their distance from kara to preserve his reputation and not lose their job — which they really can't afford as the main breadwinner for their family. neither of them are happy with how things have changed, but there's not much they can do about it.

as karamatsu and dobusu's engagement party draws closer and kuroba has to help with the decorations, their discontent really bubbles to the surface. one of their noble friends, ( i haven't decided who yet lol, ) finds them crying and tries to comfort them, eventually convincing them to sneak into the party and dance with kara so they at least have one unforgettable memory of him to hold onto. with their help, they manage to do it with their identity hidden behind a mask.

things seem to go off without a hitch ; they'll be able to have to moment with karamatsu all for themself and basically no one will be the wiser. that is until they slip up and speak while dancing with him. they start to leave when he almost says their name, but he stops them and gives them the pine-shaped brooch he was wearing before letting them slip away. to make matters worse, iyami sees this all go down.

the events after that are a lot less plotted out, but i imagine some standard historical fantasy romance webtoon bullshit going down. like karamatsu trying to confront kuroba about that night, but them telling him to stop and leave them be. it's be some wild melodrama, which i do kinda live for.

the climax would probably be iyami staging some villainess-esque condemnation event to expose kuroba for sneaking into the party and get them kicked out of the castle. but queen matsuyo and some of the nobles kuroba had befriended come to their rescue. basically, they argue that if there's someone who's willing to be with karamatsu's annoying ass, then why would you force him onto someone else? none of the other nobles want him, please let kuroba have him so they don't have to deal with him. this includes dobusu, who agrees to give the royal family her duchy's support if they break off her engagement with karamatsu and let kuroba take him off her hands. so after getting matsuzou's approval, they live happily ever after theeeeeee end. there's probably other factors that could play into them getting together at the end, but yeah.

anyways thank you for coming to my rambling, i am so sorry it got this long. this is one of the aus i've thought about A LOT so i ended up having a lot to say. 😭

[rubycast]

AU: Jobs

Another AU I made a year or two ago. The idea is the sextuplets have jobs, but they're not exactly where they want to be in those jobs. They all still live at home as well.

Oso: Ballerina. Does shows at a local theater in town with a ballerina group that comes to town every summer. He’s really good and they offer to take him on tour with them, but he doesn’t want to leave his family behind so he refuses (though he lies and says he’s too lazy to travel or something). His dream is to one day perform in Paris, France in front of a large crowd, though he doesn’t tell anyone this. The rest of the year he’s a NEET. Had Iyami as his agent once when he was younger. He performed in different towns, but ended up missing his family and was thinking of going home when he found Iyami trying to run off with the money they earned from the shows. Iyami wanted to take the money and go to France alone. Luckily the family was able to stop Iyami, but they lost the money in the struggle in a hijinks way. He can still remember the feeling of loneliness without his brothers by his side to this day, which is why he doesn’t want to leave them and go on tour.

Kara: A model! Well, actually, a hand model. His dream is to become a full-body model. He doesn’t even have to be on the cover or centerfold. He just wants to show off his whole body. Chibita takes pity on him and has him model for flyers for his oden shop (though he has to keep reminding Kara to keep it tame and not to ham). Has gotten scammed more than once by “talent agencies” that promise to make him a full body model. Each time they run off with his money he promises to be more careful from then on, but then falls for the next one. 

Choro: Works at a business office (the one his dad got for him in that one ep). His dream is to own his own business like his father did in the kun series. He hasn’t gone to business school (since he can’t afford it and doesn’t have any talents to get scholarships), so right now his plan is to work hard and get promoted until he becomes CEO of the business. What he doesn’t realize is that his supervisors don’t plan on giving him any promotions. They want to keep him where he is and force him to do their work for them, so they can take the credit. Despite all the work he does, and always attending drinking parties after work, he has no work friends. Everyone is annoyed with him and his know-it-all attitude and is only nice to him when they have work that needs done. 

Whenever he gets drunk he rants about how he’s going to quit and start his own business, but never goes through with it. He’s afraid of it failing, like his father’s business did. One of the ones that has a steady income and can keep it.

Ichi: Runs a non-profit cat adoption center. Raised up money to rent a building to turn it into an adoption center. The problem is Ichi’s standards are higher than most, so adopting is nearly impossible and they don’t earn a lot of money. The only reason his business hasn’t gone under is cause his brothers help him run a charity, benefit thing whenever the center needs money. He also sometimes get an anonymous donation. The only other employee he has is his old highschool friend (and secret crush), Yana. Yana also helps put money into the center so it doesn’t go under. Ichi gets annoyed when Choro tries to give him business advice. 

Jyushi: A baseball player! Kinda. He’s on a baseball team, but he never gets to play. When he first joined he got a little too excited and went nuts (like in the last ep of season 1). He’s calmed down since then, but none of his teammates or coach trusts him and have him as a benchwarmer. They have him do more manual tasks, like cleaning the uniforms, polishing bats, and things a baseball player shouldn’t be expected to do. He doesn’t complain, though he wishes they would at least let him play in one game. His teammates find him annoying, but they can’t trade him off (for whatever reason). He gets paid the most out of the brothers (he gets extra for doing the manual labor), but none of them realize this since he sends half of his paycheck to Ichi as an anonymous donor, or to Homuyra in the form of gifts (he tried money once and she sent it back). Does travel to other cities for games, but makes sure to call home everyday and talk to his brothers for hours when he can.

Todo: Part time streamer/part time worker at a clothing store. He wants to become a popular streamer, but so far he’s just got a little following. He’s the streamer that either talks about his day, complains about a coworker or customer, or reacts to videos. He sometimes gets donations on his streams, but the one he gets the most from is from a fan named “FluffyMixer.” (It’s Atsushi. Fluffy is the name of his cat. Todo doesn’t know it’s Atsushi and often talks to him about his “favorite fan that donates a lot to him” while Atsushi smirks and listens). He's wanting to get sponsorships.

[lev1hei1chou]

Fun fluffy animes that I loved

This is basically a list of animes that helps get over or deal with the trauma inflicted by various animes. At the moment, I guess fellow JJK fans might need this, and prolly AOT fans on November 5. Have fun watching

Haikyuu

Short Synopsis: Determined to be like the volleyball championship's star player nicknamed "the small giant", Shoyo joins his school's volleyball club.

Episodes: 85 + 5 OVA

The worst thing that can possibly happen is either the 3rd year students graduating or you being unable to support a specific team (nah cuz bro how do you pick and root for one? I end up being happy for the team that won and depressed for the team that lost)

Two movies are coming up soon

Highschool Babysitters

Synopsis: After the sudden death of their parents on a plane crash, two young brothers named Ryūichi Kashima (a freshman in high school) and his younger brother Kotarō (a preschooler) are left orphaned and having no place to call home. The chairwoman of the prestigious Morinomiya Academy offers to take the boys into her care, giving them a new house and free tuition, on the condition that Ryuichi helps out with the school's daycare center while also attending normal classes during school hours.

Episodes: 12 + 1 OVA

Note: Plane crash seems sad but trust me, its only mentioned in the first episode, and the rest 11 is just fluffy goodness. Nothing can prepare you for the cuteness.

Cells At Work

Synopsis: One newcomer red blood cell just wants to do her job. Between bacteria incursions and meeting a certain white blood cell, she's got a lot to learn.

Episodes: 31 + 7

A good mix of science and entertainment. The episodes dont have to be watched in any specific order.

Mr. Osomatsu

Synopsis: The everyday lives of identical sextuplets who cause mischief.

Episodes: 75 + special eps + movies

Has a good amount of 18+ jokes, but its not too overwhelming. It doesnt necessarily follow a plot, and each episode is usually two different stories combined. So, skipping episodes should be fine. Also, it features very popular voice actors for the sextuplets (Geto's VA, Gojo's VA, Levi's VA, Koro sensei's VA, Erwin's VA and Haku/ Sugawara's VA), Iyami (Obanai Iguro's VA), Totoko (Shoko's VA)

The Vampire Dies in No Time

Synopsis: The story follows the famed vampire hunter, Ronaldo, who receives a job to destroy the supposedly invincible vampire lord Draluc and rescue a human boy he allegedly kidnapped.

Episodes: 24

Note: Its a hit or miss, the running gag is used constantly and gets tiring at times, but the overall anime is a good watch. I personally loved John the Armadillo

Buddy Daddies

Synopsis: Assassins Kazuki Kurusu and Rei Suwa meet Miri, a girl looking for her father on Christmas Day. Kazuki, Rei, and Miri unexpectedly end up living together.

Episodes: 12

May get dark at times, so I wont guarantee that itll be a smooth sail, but we get a wholesome conclusion so you can count on that! Otherwise VERY fluffy

Blue Lock

Synopsis: High school soccer players from across Japan gather for a controversial project designed to create the best and most egoistic striker in the world.

Episodes: 24

Isnt exactly true football, but yeah. The anime is pretty fine. It doesnt exactly go under the fluffy anime like i mentioned in the title, but you can check it out if you want.

Free!!

Synopsis: The story is centered on high school student Haruka Nanase, a gifted swimmer. After encountering his childhood rival, Rin Matsuoka from Samezuka Academy, he and his friends revitalize Iwatobi High School's swim team.

Episodes: 37 + specials and movies

This anime to me, personally is what haikyuu is. A great comfort anime which knows how to make the viewer connect with the characters. I dislike it when the whole anime gets reduced to just fanservice, like guys lets look beyond that and actually enjoy the plot.

Life Lessons With Uramichi Oniisan

Synopsis: From smoking and exercising to nihilistic outbursts, everyone's big brother Uramichi always brings up the not-so-moral side to his life lessons

Episodes: 13

This one is very real and relatable in many levels. Theres a lot of screenshots and panels available online, so you can check a few out before watching!

Obey Me

Synopsis: Brothers Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor are among the most powerful demons in the Devildom, serving as officers on the student council at the Royal Academy of Diavolo (RAD). However, being avatars of the seven deadly sins, their behaviors often tend toward the extreme. Their everyday antics belie their high status and fearsome reputations among others of their kind. When viewed behind the scenes, the members of this family are more lovable—and laughable—than they first seem!

Episodes: 24 + 1

It's based on a popular otome game, and can be watched as it is even if you havent played the game. The basic idea is that theyre based on the 7 sins, so their personalities are really amusing. As for the plot, its pretty wholesome.

Play It Cool Guys

Synopsis: Despite their distinctive personalities, Souma Shiki, Hayate Ichikura, Shun Futami, and Takayuki Mima all have one thing in common: though naturally clumsy, the four disguise their embarrassment from tiny slip-ups by maintaining a composed demeanor. However, it is actually the guys' airheaded natures that makes the girls' hearts throb. No matter what happens in their daily lives, the boys do their best not to lose their cool!

Episodes: 24

Each episode is barely 10-13 minutes, so it just doesnt feel enough lol. Most of their slip ups are relatable and could get a chuckle from the viewer. The art style is a little different but its good. Definitely worth watching, once or even multiple times.

Tanaka Kun is Always Listless

Synopsis: For high school student Tanaka, the act of being listless is a way of life. Known for his inattentiveness and ability to fall asleep anywhere, Tanaka prays that each day will be as uneventful as the last, seeking to preserve his lazy lifestyle however he can by avoiding situations that require him to exert himself. Along with his dependable friend Oota who helps him with tasks he is unable to accomplish, the lethargic teenager constantly deals with events that prevent him from experiencing the quiet and peaceful days he longs for.

Episodes: 13 + specials

Not gonna lie, Ive wanted to act like Tanaka. The characters are lovable and the anime is worth giving a try. An underrated gem. I personally loved the school festival episode.

@satoruukisser hope this helps!

[millipedish]

I finished Wembley the Spokesfraggle, and I gotta ask: what do you think of Jack Hammer Doozer (considering he's a spiritual successor to Convincing John), and what do you think of how they used Ball of Fire?

It got through! I think Jack Hammer is fine! He's not as interesting to me as my boy John, but that's because he's a one-off celebrity guest so they can't dig into his lore like fr gave us for John. Man, maybe I should make a post about my John lore sometime? But even design wise, John wins out for me. His design inspirations come from bombastic televangelists. He is kind of a very specific criticism of preachers who straight up tell lies about the world to scare people into going down the 'correct' path. But also, I love the suit and the horrible teeth. Man is channeling Iyami Osomatsusan and I love that for him. But I do adore the bttr team and what they were going for with Jack Hammer's design. Guy Fieri is a hype man, and he has sold some really dumb shit in his lifetime. Jack Hammer is less a criticism of preachers and more of a criticism of advertising. Also I love the pompadour and the vest! Bttr has some extremely skilled and dedicated set and puppet designers. I mean they're kind of two sides of the same coin, aren't they? John exaggerates the negative and scary things and Jack exaggerates the positives, but both are being quite dishonest. The thing that John represents feels a little more biting, advertising is also super dangerous, and kids need to learn to think for themselves. So this is ultimately a good thing. Something I really like about this episode is that it feels like peering into John's origin story. I really love that the Doozers picked Wembley for this role *because* he's such a Wembler. A very good shout out to the Secret of Convincing John, where it's revealed that John a worse Wembley than the guy *named after* wembling! With little details like this, you can tell bttr is made by people who have a lot of love and respect for the original series. I'm not a fan of bttr's rendition of Ball of Fire. Kenan is great, but he kind of just shouts the words instead of singing them. But's not a song that I was super attached to to begin with, so it's not like I feel like it 'ruined' it or anything. Actually, I feel strongly that old things don't get ruined just because someone does a new version of it. The old things are still there and still exist in their own context. I like what they're *going* for tho, turning this song into a pseudo villain song. I really think it's neat how they use songs in different contexts in bttr. Turning Chase the Wind from a sports anthem to a queer pride anthem is fucking genius! But this one just doesn't work for me 🤷

[osomatsuconfessions]

In regards to my last Girlymatsu's confession, I shared what I thought they would be. Which were basically my head canons. So here's my head canons for the Matsunos themselves, not what I expected out of them, but just little tidbits about them that I like to think they actually do have. Although granted alot of it is just me portraying traits of myself onto characters I like.

AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, I KNOW THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT THEY ARE IDENTICAL BUT I LIKE TO THINK THEY WERE IDENTICAL IN CHILDHOOD, BUT STARTED TO BECOME EASIER TO TELL APART AS THEY GOT OLDER. Plus I think it's funnier to think that Iyami purposefully calls each of them by the wrong name. That or Iyami is color blind.

Osomatsu, I'm convinced he's chubby, he definitely has facial hair, or hair in general. I can definitely see him having alot of hair. I honestly think he picks at his nails alot and I think he watches trash TV alot. I also think he's a bit tan, just a bit.

Karamatsu, I think he's pretty average in regards to body type. I think he'd be pretty tan from being outside so much. I think he has a tooth gap, and that he very much still has freckles but he covers them with makeup. I think he stutters alot when he messes up or gets nervous. And lastly, I think he's horrible at playing the guitar, but shockingly good at playing drums.

Choromatsu, I like the head canons that he's like pretty skinny and stuff. But I personally think he'd be chubby, cause I feel like we all need to take into consideration that the sextuplets drink. ALOT. Yes they are constantly moving and exercising so I don't think they would be super chubby, but unless they are constantly moving around like Jyushimatsu they likely have a bit of body fat on them. I think Choromatsu would be pale. I think Choromatsu uses Contacts when he's going outside for long periods of time but when he's at home or around people he's known for a long time he wears glasses. I think he's a lip biter, like he chews on his lips when he's nervous, and I think he would love cats. Not as extreme as Ichimatsu, but he does love cats. I think he's anemic, which constantly makes his cheeks red.

Ichimatsu, he is 100% chubby, I think he is also super pale, probably the most pale out of the brothers. I think he has a bit of facial and body hair, not enough hair to grow a beard or anything, just like he grows enough hair to get side burns and pretty noticable arm and leg hair. Of course he would have eye bags, but I also think he would have anemia, and it's pretty noticable cause he would have the white blotches in his nails and naturally rosey cheeks.

Jyushimatsu, he has gotta be pretty toned at least, do you see the way moves around? He's the only one of his brothers that doesn't have any stomach fat. I think he's also the most tan out of his brothers. I also think he's gotten sun burned alot over the years from being outside and forgetting to put on sunscreen or bring anything to shield his skin from the sun. So like once every other month he will come home sun burned. I think he's actually pretty neutral on cats or dogs. He does strike me as having a slight favoritism towards dogs though, but he doesn't mind cats. I think he has to constantly keep some part of his body moving in order to properly focus, like in highschool he would constantly rock in his chair or bounce his leg.

And lastly for Todomatsu I think he's also pretty average in regards to body weight. Maybe a bit of cheek and stomach fat. I think he's pale, I think his eyesight is also pretty bad but he refuses to wear glasses, only eye contacts. I think he has his ears pierced, I also think he wears alot of jewelry. And I think that while he is pretty solid on getting dates when his brothers aren't around, I think there's no shot in hell he has a chance of actually bagging a girl no matter what he does.

AGAIN I KNOW THE WHOLE POINT OF THEIR BASIC CHARACTER TRAITS IS THAT THEY ARE IDENTICAL BUT I JUST LIKE TO THINK THEY GOT PRETTY UNIQUE FROM ONE ANOTHER OVER THE YEARS.

.

[tottymatsuno]

The sextuplets react to you getting a new job:

Osomatsu: yaayy, I was just about to call and ask for beer money. I'll pay you back in dick too!

Karamatsu: heh, I knew that lady luck would shine upon you once more! Now, let's celebrate these good tidings extravagantly, prepare your body for my Karamatsu summer of love! But first, I need to get ready, I will go home and put on my finest silks! My mommy and daddy will let you into our abode, wait for me, my Karamatsu kumquat, and get cash out.

Choromatsu: Ah, thank goodness. That's a relief. I'm glad you took my advice when I told you to get another one.

Ichimatsu: Alright, that sounds good but you're still gonna be home during the day, right? I need someone to stop me from eating toilet paper.

Jyushimatsu: y/n-chan they're going to take my kidneys if I can't sell these pictures of monkeys on the block chain get another one

Todomatsu: Oh, so can I quit mine then? I hate working at McDonald's because they keep making me twerk with Grimace for his birthday :(

Bonus:

Iyami: Uhyouhohoho, now me's can go legitimate, zansu! I won't have to cut out Jyushimatsu's kidneys anymore, me can go back to an honest living, zansu! Change a new leaf!

Chibitas: Wooow, amazing, I can't believe an idijit like you got a new job! Where are you working? Yeah? Do you think people would eat oden for lunch there? Can you take out this business loan in your name for me? Wooow!

Totoko: Oh, that's wonderful news, y/n-chan! I thought I said to go home.

[notsobeautifuldisaester]

Assorted Osomatsu-kun/san headcanons I have buried in my head

Psst... Hey you. Yes you, You wanna know about my silly little headcanon I have for a bunch of characters most were one-shot characters. Well, you came to the right place.

Welcome, I'm your host Diseaster and today I'll be reaching as far as humanely possible into the deepest crevices in my brain to be you my assorted list of headcanon no one asked for.

Tw: Kidnapping, Animal Abuse, General Tougouness, CSA mention (Nothing actually happen tho)

🟣🔵🦷Ichimatsu learned the Kusomatsu thing from that one time Iyami visited and forced Karamatsu to drink beer.

🥨🦷That one German Iyami doppelganger grew up in a novelty shop that sold German stuff

🩳Dekapan's son, Taro, followed in father's footsteps and became a scientist. Though instead of making crazy gadgets and shit, it's just normal ass science, something like microbiologist

🩳Dekapan been married around six times. He wasn't the most attentive husband. He's still a doting father tho.

🤪The Dayon tribe is actually a bunch of people he vored when he was drunk on vacation

🔪👛 On meta note, Tougou is very prideful of newfound fame and still brags about appearing in the San for movie for like five seconds. Everyone else not give less of a shit

💨🍢 Chibita is related to the boss of the Smog Gang in a way, he doesn’t know this however

💨🏳Hatabou works an informant for the Smog Family Gang

🎀That one uprising in S2E1 was planned by Ta-bo. She must've really not wanted them to be CEOs or something.

🧑‍🏫Yagi occasionally hangs out with the sextuplets. He's really proud of how his disciples turned out.

💍 Kumiko is now an up and coming model. She rubs this in Totoko's face to no end

💍 Kumiko and Kinko are cousins, their names being the same is kind of an inside joke between the two.

👓🥐Niyake works as a reporter alongside Toy Car Boy. He says it's to travel around the world but in reality, it's because his family went bankrupt and he needed the money. He's still a prissy little shit tho.

👓🥐Such as not letting Iyami live that one time he humiliated him out of a job, still beefing with Chibita over outclassing him and generally sticking his nose up at everybody.

🎌🧛Hatabou and Dra-chan befriended each other, this somehow involved lots of bloodletting and ended up with them in the hospital

🥊🦑Fighting Yowai and Knockout Tsuyoi are drinking buddies

🍎🥊Knockout Tsuyoi doesn't approve of his little brother, Yotaichi, bullying people and he usually has to force him to apologize.

🟪🦷Just as Chibita can summon a cat army, Iyami can summon a swarm of ravens to attack people. He learned this trick from his older brother.

🪆👮After retiring from being a policeman, Katsumi a became seamster

🪆🦷Iyami quickly divorced Katsumi after he learned that being married to a cop won't get you out of legal trouble.

🐭🪤After the incident with his son being replaced by a cat, Instead of abusing cats Tataoji put his energy into helping mice

🎭That one old couple Tougou and Oso robbed, They were Jiguzou's grandparents. Ok, I just made this up to give Jiguzou a reason to kill Tougou.

🧺🦷Speaking of Iyami's brother, Gisei, he uses ravens to assist him in his robberies.

🧺🦷Some more tidbits about Gisei; half the stuff he steals is to sell for a higher price and the other half for no other reason than it looks cool, as a result, his house is full of all sorts of useless shit.

🧺🦷He is considerably "nicer" than Iyami, well at least to anyone other than Iyami. He has good manners and barely a mean word to say about others. He tends to apologize on his Iyami's behalf, mainly to humiliate him, and at first, seems to be a swell guy

🧺🦷On the flip side, he is the most unloyal traitorous little bitch on the face of the earth. There’s no limit to his selling out, he would rat out his friends, family (specifically Iyami), and anyone else unlucky enough to associate with him.

🦷🎀Iyami's daughter, Isoka, is blissfully unaware of her father being a con artist and is told that he's some sort of salesman. Iyami's brother holds this over Iyami to no end.

🦷🎀 Iyami still visits his daughter from time to time and seems to be on his best behavior around her.

🦷🎀 Isoka works in a ski resort as an instructor. She is normally good at her job but she still has a bit of favoritism streak, particularly to handsome rich guys

💰💵 Cash-kun is the one that got Chibita into crypto in the first place

🧺🦷Iyami's brother can't sheeh to save his life, any attempt from him to do so ends up with him falling flat on his ass

🕯️🦇 The Shinigami Salesman has a candle under his top hat (don't ask how that works with his candle going out or the hat burning, it's magic or some shit) He can regenerate instantly when injured. If his candle is put out, he "dies" until it re lit. Also, he can remove it and switch it out for a new one.

🕯️🦇The Shinigami Salesman was a normal human and was on his way to becoming a door-to-door salesman before getting bodied by a truck. The Shinigami before him was about to quit and ask him to take their place.

🐈‍⬛🦇Nozomi and the Shinigami Saleman tend to work together to help people want to pass on without regrets.

🔪🍢Contrary to popular belief, Tougou wants to get revenge on Chibita. Unfortunately for Tougou, Chibita has no clue who he is outside of some annoying old guy that keeps loitering around his cart.

🔪🔴 On the topic of Osomatsu and Tougou. Tougou can't even get his name right (usually calling him Osumatsu or Omomatsu), let alone care enough about him to take vengeance on some shitty NEET.

🔪🔴Osomatsu, on other hand, can't stand the sight of Tougou and push him into traffic if it was legal (jk, he would do it even if it wasn't legal). It wouldn't be so bad if Tougou just fucked off and never showed his face but... Nooo... Tougou just had to return instead of moving on with his life.

🟣🔵🟢🟡👚 On the side of the other Matsuno. Jyushi scares Tougou and he's convinced that Jyushi is some sort of cryptic. He found Kitty!Ichimatsu rummaging in his trash, at that point he doesn't know what to do about him. Choro and Kara generally don't trust him but they aren't outright trying to attack him so Tougou is cool with them. Todomatsu and Tougou silently hate each other.

🔪👩Tougou tried to attack Matsuyo for putting sleeping tonic in his food, he ended up having his ass handed to him and barely escaped with his nipples. Plus he keep picking on Matsuzo for being short (the fucking dickhead)

👨👩Matsuyo and Matsuzo would've either hounded the police or search for Osomatsu themselves if Tougou actually succeeded Osomatsu (bc I refuse to same people who fought a death god and aliens made counterfeit money to pay a ransom, jumped a barber for fucking up their kids hair would just go "Oh, some guy with a knife stole our kid. That fucking blows but I guess we can't do shit about."

👨Matsuzo can be summoned by singing the first five lines of the 80's anime theme. I mean it's practically canon. Choromatsu deadass starts singing the theme song and out of nowhere Matsuzo just ✨️pops✨️ out of nowhere. Like I refuse to believe that was a conscience, it was ✨️magic✨️

🏎️📻Osomatsu and That Toy Car Kid from the Tougou chapter still hang out. They usually go fishing, watch horse races (Oso bets, Car Boi just likes to watch), or pray on Tougou's downfall.

🔪💰This has no basis in canon but it's a funny brain worm I had stuck in my head. To lessen his sentence, Tougou "volunteered" (forced) to be an idol to entertain his fellow prisoners. It fucking blows. He was forced to wear this ugly ass, itchy as fuck knife suit. Had to sing these corny ass lyrics about weapons. His fans didn't even like him. His manager forced him to perform no what condition he was in as he raked in the money from his CD sales. The whole experience shaved 10 years off his life.

🔪💰Speaking of prison, Tougou was at the bottom of the pyramid in prison. Basically, someone start rumors of him being a ch0m0 and if you know how people like that are treated in prison, you can tell it wasn't pretty.

And finally, Mujirushi took place in the Osokun universe. Search your heart and you'll know it's true.

Whew. That was long. In all honesty, I had fun making this, though I may not do it again. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this.

Toodles!

[malaierba]

Consider the following: KaraNozo but in a fairytale, like Cinderella!

Cinderella!Kara is already a very Karabita story in my brain 🙈 But what about Sleeping Beauty? Don't you think that'd suit Nozomi nicely?

In this version of the story, Karamatsu and Nozomi meet while Nozomi is made to live on her own to keep her safe from the curse placed on her by an evil witch who looks suspiciously like Iyami. Karamatsu meets her accidentally, and he doesn't disclose that he's a prince from the neighboring kingdom because Nozomi is quick to assume that he's a bard and he's still his anxious teen self.

Maybe in this version of the story she helps him build up his confidence little by little? She's isolated for the most part, so I think she'd appreciate a ridiculous guy who likes to sing and knows a lot of stories and plays, and secretly wants to be a performer. When he's not helping her with the chores necessary to sustain herself + her godmother (Dayon? Eh why not), they're telling stories together.

I'm thinking that when Nozomi turns 20 and is finally allowed to go back home on the day of her birthday, she leaves a letter to Karamatsu explaining who she is and where to find her. Which he only finds after the prophecy has been fulfilled, and Nozomi has accidentally pierced her finger and plunged her kingdom into deep sleep.

From then on, the Matsuno brothers (but mainly Osomatsu and Choromatsu, since one WILL be king and the other one is convinced he WILL marry into a throne) spend a lot of time trying to get into Nozomi's cursed kingdom, which is full of overgrown plants and ghosts that and other obstacles that make it difficult to get to wherever Nozomi is.

Those two also spend a lot of time sabotaging each other (lol), while Karamatsu simply trails along because he of course KNOWS Nozomi, and he feels weird about the fact that they were both keeping secret their royal origins to each other, and besides the prophecy says that only true love's kiss can wake Nozomi, and he's afraid of getting there and finding out that the love he feels for Nozomi isn't true love (because of the lies), or that perhaps it isn't reciprocated.

I... Kind of like the idea that at one point, while sokudo are pointlessly fighting the cursed kingdom and each other, Karamatsu sees Jyushimatsu arrive from afar, with a message from Queen Matsuyo who's wondering what on earth is taking them so long.

Jyushimatsu arrives with her betrothed, Lady Homura, who was actually a courtesan from a fiefdom that had been seeking the Matsunos favour. For a long time in their relationship, Homura tried to keep her office a secret from Jyushimatsu; She introduced herself as just a random noble girl, and she relished that Jyushimatsu would interact with her without the weirdness and expectations that surrounds the title or courtesan.

When Jyushimatsu proposed to her, she had to come clean, and had been ready to be turned down, only to find out that Jyushi had already figured out who she was and it just didn't matter to him.

Karamatsu had known the basics of the story from Osomatsu, but I think listening to it from Jyushi and Homura would inspire him. Maybe they figure out that all his questions and interest in what they think of their circumstances goes beyond casual curiosity? Hah, maybe he goes as far as to show them Nozomi's letter and explain a little bit of his circumstances.

As you'd expect from them, they encourage Karamatsu to try. Homura reasons that as long as the care they have for each other is genuine (and it was), they'll figure out everything else once Nozomi wakes up. Besides, it sounded like Nozomi really appreciated Karamatsu's kindness, so that should be all he needs to show in order to prove the verity of his feelings.

Jyushimatsu, in true "I can be a meta little guy" fashion, adds that if it's not him it's definitely not going to be their perverted Onii-san let alone the rising Fappymatsu third, and so he should hurry up and get to Nozomi because of its not Karamatsu, then it's definitely none of them, so what are you waiting for nii-san!?

Encouraged by this interaction, Karamatsu finally makes an effort to go find Nozomi. In true Karamatsu fashion, he takes Homura's words ("show your kindness") literally, and he starts trying to charm and get directions from ghosts, ask the plants that have taken the street to allow him to pass, etc.

Incredibly, it works? Although if the plants sometimes throw him through the airs instead of letting him pass a la Moses, and if the ghosts sometimes vanish like dust to the wind when Karamatsu sparkles in their general direction, that's a different matter lol. The important thing is that he starts making way more progress than anyone has in the month they've been there, and progress increases exponentially when he finds a tiny green-eyed cat in the castle who helps him navigate the inner rooms until he gets to Nozomi.

You can imagine how it ends, it's a fairytale and it's Karamatsu so it'll be cheesy haha. He probably finds Nozomi crumpled on the floor besides a spinning wheel. He rearranges her so she's lying on his lap. He is too nervous about kissing her and it being for naught, so he ends up talking to her sleeping form, mentioning the card and what he learned from her, admitting to his own secret, apologising for not telling her sooner ("I liked that you weren't expecting a second to the throne from me; with you I forgot of all the things I've never been good at, and all I ever thought about was the things that we like"), admitting that he's afraid that those little lies between them wont be enough for the curse, but reassuring her that at least on his side he cares as much for the Nozomi that lived alone in the forest with her weird godmother, as he does for the one that is a princess.

He then takes her hand and kisses her (note: idk I really dislike the kiss on the lips of a sleeping person trope 😔 I also think that Karamatsu saw Osomatsu doing some distasteful jokes (in his defense, he really was only joking, trying to get a rise out of his siblings) and was put away of it by him too lol. He would have gone for the cheek afterwards anyway). To his surprise, the cat that had been guiding him, and who had been listening internally, started glowing before his eyes, until it shattered over them, gentle white light raining over their figure and slowly gathering on top of Nozomi's sleeping figure.

Nozomi's eyes flutter open not long afterwards, and despite looking a bit drowsy, she squeezes Karamatsu's hand and says "I'm glad you came". Karamatsu has a lot of questions, but he decides that all of them can wait. He helps Nozomi sit down and they hug promptly after, mumbling about how they missed each other, how Karamatsu is just Karamatsu to Nozomi too, how Nozomi always knew that things would be okay as long as it was Karamatsu who found her, how Karamatsu will be there to help her through whatever will come, etc.

Osomatsu and Choromatsu find them like that and at that point all hell breaks loose lol. There's only so much complaining they can do in good faith after they see them hugging as they are, and especially after Nozomi allows Karamatsu to princess carry her, so after a while they get over it and they finally go reunite the princess with her parents.

Good end :-)

[flyingspicerack]

Ok hear me out.... Todomatsu

Imagine... Life or death situation, the boys for some reason need to dance battle with iyami, each brother has gone up one by one, each failing and turning into a black, charred, naked, curly haired mess, you know, missing teeth and all that

Then, todomatsu is getting ready and the others are like "no todomatsu, youre gonna break your ankles!!" Or something... Idk "Totty! Just run! You're just gonna fail!" Like giving him no support at all

Then he whips this out and blows iyami away team rocket pokemon style... Like todomatsu is already known to not tell his brothers things, like whats one more unknown skill? I think he can dance, specifically this slayage

[crtter]

TELLY!! can you show some of your favourite iyami screenshots?? from either -san or -kun is fine!! i wanna do some more redraws and need help picking screenies hehe

Oh man! What an honor, I’d be glad to! OK so, I chose four -san screenshots and four -kun screenshots I like so you can pick and choose the ones you like the most. Also, I focused more on scenes of him wearing different clothes than usual because I love the alternate outfits they give him hehe:

Normally I’d say something like “Please don’t judge me too hard for some of these” but you’re also an Iyami enthusiast so I feel like you’ll understand where I’m coming from here. I hope you like them!!!

[bunnymajo]

I didn’t know totoko had her own show?

Technically Akko-chan came first! Osomatsu-kun & Himitsu no Akko-chan we’re running around the same time so in the chapter of Oso-kun where they needed a girl Akatsuka just reused Akko’s design and called her something else (and likewise in the Akko manga the sextuplets or Iyami would just pop in for a visit, he gave no fucks I love it lol)

Akko & Totoko are treated as totally different characters though, especially now since different studios own certain characters (like Akko is part of Toei’s classic magical girl line & since the success of Osomatsu-san I imagine Pierrot will be holding onto that IP for as long as possible) and they really are, Akko is definitely more aggressively nice than Totoko tends to be portrayed

And it gets better! There’s a third girl born because of these exact copyright issues: Momoko! (90’s Moretsu Ataro)

Akko has been listed as one of Akatsuka’s favorite characters he’s made (up there with Bakabon’s Papa) and honestly I’m glad

[traumatsu]

Local autistic Traumatsu back again with another dissertation pleading the case of Matsuno Karamatsu for Most Pathetic Little Guy!

Now I know, Doofenschmirtz is a very formidable opponent here! However, I think Karamatsu deserves a fighting chance. My credentials are thus: My first and biggest dissertation for the opening round (part 1, part 2), and my second followup dissertation for round 2. Also I am clearly a Karamatsu Boy.

I'll continue where my last dissertation left off, moving on to the second segment of episode 4 of the anime under the cut.

Episode 4: Let's Become Independent/This is Totoko, Cont.

There isn't much in this one because it's about Totoko being an idol, HOWEVER this man was invited to the house of the girl he likes and he decides to show up looking like this:

He also ended up buying hundreds of thousands of yen of Totoko's idol merch despite being a broke-ass NEET eventhough she's never going to give him the time of day, but I digress.

Episode 5: The Karamatsu Incident/ESP Kitty

See my 2-part dissertation that goes over The Karamatsu Incident and ESP Kitty in detail here: part 1, part 2

Episode 6: It's a Birthday Party, Dajo

Ichimatsu shoots him with a bazooka in the first segment over a flag pun:

Then he gets a giant flag shoved up his ass. I have a sneaking suspicion the spiked one was intended for him:

Episode 7: Todomatsu and the 5 Demons/Totoko's Dream

It's made clear that Todomatsu is embarrassed by Karamatsu (and his other brothers):

Then later in the Sutabaa, Karamatsu is the only one to order a normal drink instead of making a joke ridiculous demand and Todomatsu takes him out with a menu for it???

He eventually comes back to life when Todomatsu sprays everyone with pesticide and the stench revives him:

Episode 8: The Calming Osomatsu

He is literally dead for the entire segment, filling the spot as a murder victim.

Osomatsu desecrates his corpse and fucks up the entire investigation, and he eventually ends up at the bottom of a pile of bodies:

In the second segment, Totoko punches him in the gut for something Iyami said, NOT him, because the writers seem to think it's funny to beat him up for no reason?

Then later, as they're trying to come up with ways to make Totoko a more popular idol (she's got a weird fish theme), Karamatsu is the only one to speak sense and everyone gets pissed at him for it:

Then in a bonus after-credits scene he falls of the roof for no apparent reason:

Episode 9: Chibita and Oden/Jyuushimatsu Falls in Love

Karamatsu gets to talking to Chibita about what he wants to do for a living and Chibita completely misunderstands and drags him into training him to run an oden cart, resulting in Chibita shaving him and then scaring the absolute piss out of him over Chibta's passion for oden:

As for the second segment, I really need to make a compliation of all the times Ichimatsu hates on Karamatsu.

Also, a return of the glitter pants:

He combs his hair to make sure he looks good when spying on Jyuushimatsu's date with a girl as if it's his date:

Episode 10: Iyami and Chibita's Rental Girlfriend

I already mentioned the cold open of this episode once before with Osomatsu and Karamatsu at the fishing hole, but I need to add that just recently I noticed he's STILL fishing with a love letter:

I'm running out of steam and image space here but goddammit if y'all vote Karamatsu you can bet I'll rip him to shreds over The Ichimatsu Incident in the next round or something because goign through every episode like this is EXHAUSTING.

For now, I'll leave you with this one after-credits short where Karamatsu speaking about the second half of the season requests he be treated even just a little bit better, and he gets dropped into a pit of fire for it:

[wheelie-butch]

When he finished the song, there was silence. Karamatsu kept his head down, gripping his guitar neck tight with slippy palms.

Iyami, the director, inhaled. “So, you’re auditioning for Frenchy, who you described as the lead, in drag, while singing a song for Doody, even though Frenchy doesn’t have a solo, zamsu. Sheeh! Have you not read the script at all? Do you know any of the plot?”

Karamatsu grinned and slid on his glasses with more bravado than he felt. “Rizzo gets pregnant,” he declared. 

“Well, that’s all me knows as well,” Iyami said with a sigh. “Me will be assigning roles at the end. Next!”

****

Later that day Karamatsu burst into his home, startingly his family as they ate lunch together. “Mommy! Bruzzas! I got the part!”

Jyushimatsu laughed. “Nii-san’s going to be in a play?”

“I shall be Frenchy!” Karamatsu said, adjusting his Pink Ladies jacket. “And Totoko is some Kenickie person, not quite as prestigious as me but I am sure she will do well...” The rest of his speech was drowned out by a cacophony of congratulation as his brothers surrounded him, cheering and slapping him on the back. Even Ichimatsu managed a surly “Well done...”

“I knew you could do it,” Matsuyo said, ruffling his hair and Karamatsu didn’t push her away for once. He could always gel it up again later. 

The celebration was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Osomatsu, could you get it?” Matusyo said, frowning slightly. “I wonder who that could be?”

[tottymatsuno]

One of the worst things about Osomatsu san is canonically they're all cishet because the writer of the show is bigoted, lgbt-phobic, racist and unfunny.

If we kickstartered my personal Japanese language learning classes, I could enact the change we all want to see because the staff would have no choice but to add me on as the only other writer of the show. I know the characters best and I know how to make the show funny.

First change I'd enact is giving Choromatsu that fucking gun and letting him kill one character per episode depending on how annoying he finds them.

My second change is Totoko in every scene, I don't care if the scene is abut Jyushimatsu shitting on the toilet. Totoko is talking to him and yelling it stinks.

My third and most important change is Iyami and Chibita have one skit per episode.

My fourth change, not important at all imo but they are all trans and bigender. Everyone is a girl. Everyone is a boy. Everyone is bi

Fifth change more Matsuyo destruction, psychological warfare and changing her rotten shit head sons and making them better future husbands

My sixth, final and needs to be canon asap is showing Todomatsu's uncut meat. Good night.