#I LOVE YOU ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE FANDOM

[ayukaze]

HAPPY 8TH ANNIVERSARY TO DIGIMON ADVENTURE TRI. [21.11.2015]

[nina-cook]

Primo with flowers 🥀🥀🥀

[calebverse]

everyone always talks about the first kiss. 

which, in caleb’s opinion, is fair enough. a first is a big deal after all. it can set records for future reference and experience – either for the better or for the worst. some look back to their firsts in regret, wishing how they could’ve done things differently or with someone else. others reminisce about their firsts with a loving smile and a chest full of contentment and joy, knowing that they wouldn’t have had it any other way. and when caleb thinks about his firsts, he thinks about you. because all of them were spent with you, and he wouldn’t change a thing. 

so yes, he would understand why everyone always talks about the first kiss. 

but to caleb, he finds himself thinking more about the second kiss he had with you.

most firsts come in a rush, in the heat of the moment, and without a thought in mind. it is full of emotions – confusion, uncertainty, worries, giddiness, excitement, urgency – that sometimes you have no time to process. it is gone as soon as it starts. you might even think you’ve only dreamt it if not for the lingering feelings inside of you that convinces you everything was real. 

but a second time is a privilege.

caleb was all nervous and impatient – but could you blame him? you looked so beautiful in the moonlight. you walked together hand in hand after an eventful date night. you were recounting your favorite moments, convincing caleb that you must come back to all the places you visited. and he was just nodding along and listening, but his mind was somewhere else. his eyes were playing a game of push and pull with your lips – he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from it.

forgive the man, but he couldn’t help it – you just looked so kissable. 

and yet, he couldn’t find the voice to ask. he instead opts to give you one of his puppy-eyed looks, accompanied by a rosy blush that reaches his ears. 

fortunately for him, you read him like an open book. you can share conversations with him in just a simple gaze. and it might not even be a stretch to say that you can read his mind, just as he can do with yours. you’ve known each other for so long after all.

so, with a laugh and a poke to his cheek, you told caleb, “you can do it, y’know.”

“do what?”

you smiled and paused from your walk. “you can kiss me, caleb.”

with a chuckle and a whisper of “how did you know?”, he cupped your face into his hands, his fingers tangled in your hair and kissed you in the middle of the sidewalk.

one would think just because you’ve already shared the first kiss together, the next will come easier. but this wasn’t the case, as there was a hint of shyness and hesitation in the way he planted his lips on yours. nonetheless, it sent your heart soaring. you let yourself smile into the kiss. 

and here, it sinks in caleb’s mind that the idea of kissing you in itself is already a remarkable honor. but to have the chance to do it again – whenever, wherever, and however he wanted – that was a privilege beyond his wildest dreams. and to top it all off, you want to kiss him as much as he does with you? oh, his heart aches tenderly so. 

the second kiss is an assurance, an unspoken promise. that he was all yours, that he has the right, the opportunity, the pleasure of pulling you to him to close every distance. to caleb, the second kiss is proof you wanted this too. you didn’t regret it and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

you have him wrapped around your finger, hooked to the feeling of your lips on his. the thought never leaves his mind, possesses every fiber of his being and touches his very core. and when it consumes him, everything he does is with the purpose of being able to be close to you again. 

everyone always talks about the first kiss. 

but to caleb, he finds himself thinking more about how after every kiss with you, he was already looking forward to the next. 

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

[leviraaaaaa]

It'd been years after the war.

You no longer had to fight anymore.

The ODM bruises had started to fade as you don't have to tighten the straps anymore, so hard that they dug into your skin. You don't miss the familiar weight of the gas tanks and thunder spears around your waist.

No more recovering only the remains of your dead friend. No more running for your life. No more corpses, no more blood.

You don't miss that life.

You've found your peace, a life with Levi.

You would have never thought it was possible. Not just you and him, but the whole concept of it.

That finally, you can sleep peacefully, without being scared of an urgent call that a wall was broken through. Though you'd still have nightmares but still. And even then it was fine because you had Levi now, to help you get through it. You no longer hard to curl up to yourself and try to calm yourself down, hug a pillow and sob silently so none of your dormmates wake up. You had Levi now.

Or the mornings, you think. The odd sense of peace, the feeling of safety. You can wake up beside him and stay in bed for as long as you want. You don't have to get up and search for your uniform. There's no training to be late to. You just curl yourself around him and watch him sleep, peaceful. And you get to watch when he'd woke up, sleepy sleepy eyes peering through and then arms wrapping around you tighter. He looks so vulnerable then. But you're glad, you think. That he can sleep like that now. That he feels safe enough to, safe with you. His dark circles aren't so visible anymore and he doesn't look as tired as he used to. He still can't get a full rest, but the insomnia isn't that bad.

Life had changed. And for the best. Peace for him and peace for you.

But try as you may, and oh dear God did you try, you can't actually forget. Can't actually leave the life you had spent so many years living behind just like that.

No, the scars never faded.

Souvenirs, you think. Reminders etched into your skin, reminders of who you were and what you've done and all that you pray to forget.

Yours stopped bothering you at one point. It used to. Once. Severely.

You'd stare at the bruises on your thighs for hours or the livid pale slashes along your arms or your stomach. Rough knuckles and calloused fingertips, the constant usage of ODM had left marks there too.

It's more the memories than anything that comes with it.

You used to think, how could anyone possibly look at this marred mess you were and still love you?

Oh but Levi.

He never told you but you knew.

He thinks it's not enough. That he's not enough. That surely you deserve someone with all their fingers, and both their eyes.

And you think it's ridiculous.

But even now, after so many years, you'd sometimes catch a glimpse of him staring at himself into the mirror, fingers grazing his face.

The world had been so cruel to him. And he didn't know how to be kinder to himself.

Unlike you, who cried it out, he never learnt how to actually handle his emotions. So when it's one of those days, he merely shuts himself out. In his own dark little mind. And those days, you leave him alone, because he only curls into himself deeper if you try to get him out. And you learnt to give him space, for him to come out on his own. Though every inch of you wants to help him, but you don't know how.

And it was one of those days, you realized when you walked into the bathroom.

He was staring at the bathroom mirror, arms braced on the counter. So focused he didn't even hear you coming.

"Levi?" You called out gently.

He didn't answer, but his head tilts towards you, eyes shifting to meet yours. He only gives a slight nod.

"You... okay?"

"...yeah." He takes a moment but nods. "Fine."

And it was then you noticed how hard his fingers gripped onto the counter. And you noticed his expression, the look of guilt there. How he wouldn't even look at you properly.

Your heart hurt.

If only he understood.

You didn't say anything but walked towards him. And without a word, you slide on top of the counter, shifting so he was standing between your legs. You locked your legs behind him, pulling him closer. He was startled but he didn't say anything, his eyes downcast.

There was so much pain inside those gray eyes.

"Levi." Your voice gentle, soft. "Look at me."

At that, he only tilted his head, looking further away from you, eyes darting sideways.

"No, look at me." You held his chin, turning his head towards you. He flinched at your touch, but you could see the resistance breaking under your gaze. The walls coming down.

With that, you held up your hair, tilting your head to show him a slash that went up to your neck.

"See this?"

He looked at you, confused. And without a word, you tugged on your t-shirt, taking off the clothing in one pull.

"What are you... doing?" He asked, warily. Eyes on your face. Even after so many years, he still got shy.

"No, eyes here lev." You said firmly. "See this?" You pointed at a scar along your elbow, then towards the bruises that ODM had left on your chest. " And this?"

He only stared at you, expression hard. His jaw tightened.

"Tell me Lev." You sighed.

"Does these repulse you? Creeps you out? Do you think they're ugly? Do they make you love me less? Or not at all?"

Levi looked horrified. He was immediately shaking your head, desperate to deny the words. How could you even think that?

"No." He said hastily, eyes wide. "No, what are you saying? Of course not—"

"So why on earth," You gently cupped his cheek, shushing him down. "Do you believe that yours makes me love you any less?"

Your thumb pressed along the scars on his cheek. They were white now, no longer blood red and livid on his skin as it was back when Hange stiched them up. You swallowed, pressing your forehead to his.

"What made you think," You whispered. "That these makes you worth any less levi? "

He didn't pull away, but he stiffened. His face hardened but there was a look of despair beneath his eyes. "That's not the same—''

"How is it any different?" You cut him out, your voice firm. "You tell me, I'm waiting."

He hesitated, staring at you. And then he looked down.

"...I'm crippled."

"Your point?"

"You deserve someone younger. Someone whole. Someone who's more than me."

"There's no one that's more than you levi."

"I'm damaged. "

"We'll fix it. I'll fix you. So, help me fix myself."

"I'll hurt you. I've already hurt you. I don't know how to be better than this. I don't know how to love someone. "

"You're the only person who have never hurt me. You make me feel more worthy than anyone else in this world ever could. And holy shit, if you can't," You whispered. "If you can't, let me. God, I'd love the shit out of you if you'd just let me. So fucking let me in Levi, don't push me away. Don't shut me out. You've done that enough in your lifetime."

And Levi was still. He was made out of stone. So hard, so rough, the edges so sharp. He tries to soften himself for you, but it goes against everything he ever taught himself his whole life and he doesn't know how to do that. He tries, but somehow it never feels enough. Not enough for you. And he wish he could believe that you didn't love him because you do and he could feel it. He can always feel it . Like the way you were looking at him and he felt so, so exposed.

It makes him feel guilty. Someone like you doesn't belong with someone like him. And he wishes, for once in your life, you'd stop looking at him like that so he could convice himself that you don't want him and he could walk away.

And he knows he makes you feel like you're not good enough, because he sees your sad expression when he locks himself out. But it's not you, he wants to tell you. God, you're fucking perfect and it's never you. It's him. He's the fucking problem. The space inside his head was so dark he was scared that just might be enough for you to leave.

But you. The tempt of it.

The warmth of you. You were all softness and gentless and goodness, so so kind to him and it makes him want to hold you tight and never let go again.

But somedays it gets so hard.

He isn't used to this. To show his feelings. To feel so bare in front of someone. Instinct doesn't let him.

He isn't used to feel so loved.

But he thinks he'd try. For you.

Because now that it's you, he doesn't know how to go back to a time there wasn't you.

"Levi?" Your voice pulls him out of his mind. Like you always did. His saving grace, his angel. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling you closer and he can hardly breathe.

"Don't give up on me, Levi." You whispered to his ears. "On you. On us."

@sad-darksoul @anxious-chick @raginginferno267

[descisco]

maybe a hot take, but kev and v are also partially responsible for what happened to liam that night that he overdosed, and both the show and shameless fans don’t acknowledge this anywhere near enough imo. obviously, fiona is liam’s legal guardian, so a very large portion of that responsibility 100% falls on her, but as mentioned, i don’t see enough shameless fans talking about how both kev and v were grown adults also recklessly doing lines of cocaine in a house with a literal toddler. there was not enough awareness of the environment for how hard they were partying, and v even admits to this shortly after. that’s the only bit of accountability that we see either of them take, and if i remember correctly, the guilt that’s displayed/written is surface level, and it’s a fairly brief scene. there’s not even an exchange of apologies between the two of them and fiona once she’s out. like, if this were a situation that were to actually happen, i know people that would be so pissed off at kev and v, they’d be ready to throw hands tbh because again….they were grown adults also recklessly doing lines of cocaine in a house with a literal toddler. you are partially responsible.

[skitskatdacat63]

Roleswap anyone??

Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!

[hauntingofhouses]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).

ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[soullessjack]

reposting this because I’ve seen too many cutesy baby costumes for jack that he’d never fucking wear and im trying not to be too mean about it (I’m being a little mean)

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

The urge is real. I must hold back. *gives him sensory issues anyway*

I know I (and many other artists) tend to draw a version of myself that doesn’t really exist, so here’s a vague approximation of what I really look like.

[sweetberrie-hetalia]

Fleeting Thought: I’m not really fond of the idea of Statetalia, but I find it interesting how it exposes a lot of people’s unconscious bias.

[v4mpyinred]

Dont understand or like the whole: "dont talk to me if you like the same character as me. Nobody gets them like I do, i'm the best/only/#1 fan!" crap I see in fandom spaces these days. People who are so possessive over the characters they like and can't bear other people loving the same thing.

Like, don't get me wrong, I used to be like this, (and thanks to that, I still struggle with awful fandom jealousy issues to this day💔) but it was not fun keeping all my thoughts to myself or ignoring/hating genuinely cool people because of my weird possessiveness over characters. I'd see everyone else having so much fun and be pissed off, because how dare they like the same thing as me..... like what???? How is that any fun???

It used to be so bad...couldn't read other people's fanfics for the longest time, I resented innocent people just because they liked the same things as me, I'd get so upset seeing people with more merch than me, would get physically sick (im talking dizzy, heart racing, stomach hurting and everything) with jealousy at the most little things etc etc...For me, it was less that I saw myself as the #1 fan, and more I felt too deeply insecure in myself to even be allowed to like what I liked :(

Then I grew TF up, and also realized how fun it was yapping with other fans and sharing the love for the same things. Now it's like, if you don't talk to me about this character I will EXPLODE!!!! I'm having so much fun these days. There's so much amazing fan content out there and so many passionate people I wanna be friends with. I love my fandom friends dearly too, and I adore seeing people love the things I love...I don't understand why I isolated myself like that for so long.

i still struggle with some of those things but it's definitely to a lesser extent! and im way happier than those old days...So it makes me sad when I see that: "I hate when people like the same thing as me!" / "only I get this character" mentality being pushed and joked about, because I'm trying SO hard to get away from it.... Fandom isn't a competition, it's a community. I just think some of ya'll would be a bit happier and actually enjoy fandom if you got over yourself /nbh

[kellystar321]

.

[bougainvillea-and-saltwater]

I LOVE YOU

That's it that's all ❤❤❤❤

I LOVE YOU TENFOLD SENU. 😤🫵

And now that I got everyone’s attention. . .

I just want to say that Senu is the funniest, kindest, and most generous person and you should all go read her fics and meet her Vigdis and Serana so we can have a lesbian panic all together. ♥️

[ladyimaginarium]

god loves you but not enough to save you

telltale's the walking dead. / sun bleached flies — ethel cain.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Sometimes writing fanfiction feels so embarrassing because it's like screaming from the rooftops that I care so much about seeing these two non-existent people from someone else's stories cuddle and exchange a quiet conversation that I literally wrote out out a vividly detailed fantasy about it. And that I also wanted to see them crying and covered in their own blood to get them there. So I described that in excruciating detail too