#I LOVE THSI ASK SO MUCH I DO

[exy-conspiracies]

The foxes only won the championship because of demon worship. Hear me out, because this will take a bit to explain but it all has to do with that wesninski guy.

We all know the foxes were a useless untalented mess until that guy joined and suddenly they started winning games.

That whole thing with his father being a serial killer/mass murderer? Important. The whole mafia/organized crime explanation? I just don't buy it. No mafia or gang in documented history has ever needed THAT much killing to sustain themselves, and that many people disappearing will always attract attention which gangs would rather avoid, cuz it get expensive buying yourself out of that. So clearly there was a different reason for all that murdering. And i think it was satanist human sacrifices. There's a reason red hair is associated with witchcraft.

So back to the foxes: the wesninski kid arrives, one of their players dies of an "overdose" and suddenly the foxes start playing well? I think they, under the guidance of witch wesninski jr. sacrificed seth gordon in exchange for exy talent. But of course one sacrifice isn't enough to satisfy a demon so they promised riko's soul as well if they won the championship. Thats why minyard was bold enough to attack riko so openly on camera, because the devil would come for them if they didn't fulfill their part and deliver riko. And they did, riko is dead because of them. Sacrificed to the devil for something as ridiculous as an exy trophy.

.

[corrodedcoughin]

Hello! I'm back with more thoughts! I've seen so many posts and fics lately where everyone is super mean to Steve and I'm emotional I just want people to be nice to him. He gives so much to everyone! He cares so much! Idk I'm just an emo Steve Girlie rn

Give me a Robin who loves Steve with all her heart. He's her best friend, her platonic soulmate, her favourite guy. Robin, who makes sure to say "love ya, dingus" every time she says goodbye to Steve. When they hang up the phone, when one finishes a shift at Family Video, when one leaves the others house. And Steve always responds in kind, saying he loves her, and calling her Robbie or Robs or Dork or Dweeb. It makes Dustin absolutely insufferable, with him still not shutting up about them dating, but neither of them want to stop. Steve got literally tortured for her, she thought he died down in that bunker and there's no way she's stopping telling him that she loves him.

Robin and Steve who tell each other everything, things they've never told anyone else. Steve who tells Robin about the Halloween party. About bullshit. About how Nancy never loved him. How she broke his heart. He's over Nancy, but fuck, sometimes it still fucking hurts. And Robin who responds by immediately phasing the phase bullshit out of her vocabulary. Who makes sure to let Steve know that she loves him and always will.

Give me someone actually acknowledging that Steve is smart in his own way. Steve, who will occasionally venture into the Wheelers basement when Hellfire runs overtime to round up the kids, only to find absolutely everyone arguing over what to do next. Gareth, Jeff, the other one, all of the party. They'll ask Eddie a question (who is sitting behind his screen looking smug as hell) and then get back to bickering. And almost automatically Steve just says "What about X?" And proceeds to point out a detail that literally everyone missed. Because he's good at noticing things! He's aware! He's smart! He's the one who pointed out the Indiana Flyer music on the Russian message. If it weren't for him - Robin and Dustin still would have thought the message came from Russia itself. And someone says 'Good idea Steve'. And later Eddie admits to Steve that he was 100% right. The others were running themselves in circles, overthinking everything. If it weren't for Steve, they'd probably still be stuck there.

Give me a Dustin who loves Steve like a brother. Who keeps inviting Steve over for Sunday roast with his mother, and for a sleepover and pizza on a Friday after school because he genuinely loves spending time with Steve. Who tells him things he doesn't tell his mother, asks him for help with his hair. Bring back their dorky handshake that they made together when Dustin made Steve watch Star Wars with him (it wasn't super his thing, but he liked the teddy bears and Dustin loves it, so). They argue and bicker and tease each other like siblings - know exactly how to push each others buttons - but they love each other (even if Steve still thinks Dustin needs to learn more about humility and personal boundaries. If he has to hear one more comment about him dating Robin he swears to God...)

Give me an Eddie who starts dating Steve and instantly turns into the sappy, cheesy, absolutely head over heels goofball he really is under all that bluster. He put on a mask of his own, just like Steve used to. The freak, the metal head, the Satanist, and intimidating drug dealing son of a bitch. But he's really just a dorky guy who cares so passionately about the things he's interested in, trying to make his way and find his place in the world. Eddie, who realised he can be a bit of a hypocrite - once saying all jocks and popular kids were conformists and assholes, putting them in boxes - and then dating Steve who genuinely likes his light wash jeans and polo shirts. Who has fun playing basketball with Lucas and watching the baseball with Wayne (and doesn't that make Eddie's heart clench, seeing his two favourite people together). Who does these things because he likes them, actually, not because they'd make him popular.

So Eddie makes sure to tell Steve that the new polo he bought looks really good on him, nice pick babe. (And he's not lying - that shirt does amazing things to his shoulders, and the colour looks really nice with his skintone.) Eddie who smiles and nods when Steve starts talking about this really cool car he saw drive through town the other day, you should have seen it Eds; or about this really awesome play in the game last night, he was on the edge of his seat, because Steve just lights up having someone who listens. His parents never did. Tommy and Carol never did. So Robin does. So Eddie does.

Just Eddie loving and caring for this amazing guy he got the privilege to date (scared as they both are). Steve, his wonderful boyfriend who tries to learn about metal for him, and goes to Corroded Coffin concerts for him, and takes him to the drive in to see a horror that Steve doesn't like but Eddie does.

So Eddie goes on hikes with Steve (they're exhausting, but Steve seemed so happy to have him with him); and tries to learn the rules of Basketball to surprise him; and picks cheesy action movies to watch together because Steve likes them.

I just want fluff

And I just want to live in this. Oh my god this has squeezed my heart to the point of immobilisation. I can’t say anything other then please please if you ever expand on this I’ll be first in line. Steve has been the protector, the carer, the overseer, the worrier for everyone important to him and he is so reluctant to let somebody do that for him. Reluctant because he doesn’t want to get used to something that could be so easily taken away from him.

It takes him time but eventually Steve learns to accept this love from his friends. Let’s himself be loved with no expectations. The thing is it’s hard, really hard. He keeps trying to ‘pay people back’ for the kindness they show him. Thinks it is an exchange and panics when he thinks he hasn’t held up his side of the friendship. Tries to practically throws gifts at them, hoping he can buy their favour and that they won’t throw him to the side.

It gets to be too much and he gets overwhelmed and he cries. He’s in family video with Robin, eddie and Dustin. The three of them planning weekend activities, making sure to ask Steve what he wants to do and he just cracks. Can’t stop himself. Apologises, tells himself he’s being stupid. Takes himself off to the back room. It’s so abrupt that they all follow him, asking if he’s okay. Steves reluctant to say but then they see the tears in his eyes

‘so stupid guys I’m so sorry I’m trying really hard. Please tell me what to do. I need to make it up to you, please. I promise I can’

Robin crowds into his space, hugging him from behind.

‘Steve. This isn’t how this works. It’s okay. You are okay. You don’t buy us. I’m too expensive for that anyway’

Eddie is leaning up against the doorframe, fingers twitching to touch steve, reassure him, but restrains himself

‘Stevie, sweetheart, believe it or not, we want to do stuff with you. I have personally found a deep and unspeakable love for hearing you wax poetic about cars, so please. Now that I am acclimatised, don’t take that away from me?’ It’s all said with a smile but it’s sincere and Steve can see that

Dustin goes to start talking but Steve stops him

‘Henderson if you say one nice word I swear to god I’ll never let you live it down.’

So Dustin just flips his middle finger with a smile but still lets out a ‘love you man’

Steve brushes Robin off, tries to act like it’s no big deal. Tries to accept what he’s been told. Its not instantaneous and it’s not easy but he wants to accept it, wants to try and see what his friends see.

Robin and Steve close up family video, Eddie and Dustin getting in the way and are lovingly pushed out the door. Steve tells them to go wait at his house, that he’s having a movie night and they should get snacks. Robin smiles at him, glad that Steve is letting them stay close, that he isn’t pushing them away after being vulnerable. It’s a big step and they all know it. Steve Harrington is letting himself be loved.

[guinevereslancelot]

for the first time in my life i was just asked if i have kids instead of if i'm in college yet. the years start coming and they don't stop coming huh

[subskz]

…i lost the tag limit war

the reader changing the subject the instant she feels seen by minho is such a subtle but valuable hint that i think says a lot abt the type of person she is, that moment really stood out to me! i know i literally just said this but right down to every minute detail, you've characterized both lino and the reader so masterfully it has to be the most enjoyable aspect of this story for me...and on top of that i just love how you write their conversations so much, they’re both such lil nerds…my intellectually stimulating smarties debating w each other even now 🥰 it all feels so comfortable and natural and draws me into their relationship w such ease!

their discussion abt colors is hands down one of my favorite scenes in all of invisible thread!! it's such an oddly heartwarming conversation and that perfect, out-of-the-box way of thinking that’s just so undeniably minho...it almost reminds me of synesthesia how he describes feelings through color! "the very essence of our humanity" "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean" the way you embodied each colors through emotions/experiences was so wonderfully done, i understood each one instantly like it was a picture being visualized before my eyes. it makes it even more touching that minho and the reader come to understand each other on a whole new level through that way of communicating their moods <3 and for some reason when he gives the example "i feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to" that really tugged at my heartstrings ㅠ it almost feels like he isnt just giving a hypothetical there, like he's giving a small glimpse into his true feelings without saying it outright. maybe he feels invisible deep down, too

them falling asleep together on facetime was so soft and tender ㅠㅠ leave it to lino to ramble abt sous-vide as a bedtime story and complain abt getting SCAMMED lmao the way that is actually smth he would say 😭 "he closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on" this line got me so good ): it seems at first that he's bringing the reader peace but she's bringing him peace in her own way as well...her feelings abt his eyes changing from fear to longing is such a lovely detail and HER COMPLIMENTING THEM!!! HIS STUNNED REACTION </3 "this is the first genuine compliment he's ever received" oh my god does my moss green theory actually have any merit.....does he really feel invisible to the world too...do not do this to me sahar ㅠㅠ but the way he thinks such lovely, adoring things abt the reader in that moment but instead of voicing them he whines abt being hungry....so endearing and so HIM i cant get enough of how youve written minho here ur singlehandedly reminding me why he is allegedly the love of my life

the kintsugi mention made my heart leap in my chest!!! "when you look at that vase, you know it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty" please...that sentence in itself is so moving when you apply it to the context of what the reader has been through her whole life, not just a single crack but repeated breakages. and for it to come from someone like minho; it feels like exactly what the reader needs to hear to truly begin to heal herself...he doesn't coddle her but is still so gentle, putting things into perspective like nobody else can w his unique worldview and mental strength ㅠㅠ and i think i just lost my mind realizing that this scene loops right back to the clay comparison you drew at the beginning of the story oh my GOD....the reader is like a clay pot molded by her mother, broken in places and repaired over and over to create smth still damaged but just as valuable...and lino is the gold filling in the cracks....sahar you are INSANE for this one im kissing ur brain and tucking it gently into bed

the scene w minho in the rain 😞 i was not prepared to see my meow meow upset...but i love the way you wrote it so much. how oddly quiet he is, even to the point where he's not commenting in class or teasing her, and that's the key detail that lets the reader know smth's off w him...i also love that nothing in particular caused his low mood. it's such a human quality, and he allows himself to be human and feel his feelings until they pass. "he knew his emotions would regulate themselves" i cant explain why this line stood out to me so much i really love it, i think it's just such a shining example of minho's mindset...not necessarily optimistic, but practical enough to not be completely swamped by the darkness either. it creates such an interesting contrast to the reader's personality to see how they both handle their emotions, w her pushing hers away and him letting them run their course. but the fact that he typically tries to retreat into himself until he feels better, yet strangely enough, he doesn't mind it as much as he'd expect when the reader catches him in a vulnerable state...my babies ㅠ i also really loved the part where he uses her shower and thinks abt the scent of her soap as he washes up, it's so so sweet n intimate i'm such a sucker for things like that ): there are so many small things minho notices abt her like it's the most natural thing in the world, they're both so attentive of one another

"you were both just trying to make it through the day" and "he knew he wasn't invisible. at least not to you" were critical hits to my heart...it feels like a breakthrough in their relationship—the first time the reader truly truly sees minho, all sides of him, and she accepts them all without question <3

the gradual progression of their friendship is so gratifying to read bc of how organically you made it all flow together!! i adore the entire sequence that shows us how they start to care for each other more and more…the casual intimacy of the reader applying her lip tint to his lips (and him not studying for his quiz on purpose 😭💗 come ON) lino worrying abt her eating enough, the reader tying his bangs out of his eyes, complimenting him so matter-of-factly, and him BLUSHING ALL OVER THE PLACE it’s so over for me x2 they are so tender in their actions even when they tease each other nonstop. it all leads up so perfectly to the point in the story where minho finds himself being drawn to her apartment without even realizing it when he doesn't feel well. the subtle shift from him initially trying to shut her out bc he's so used to managing his bad days on his own, to him eventually leaning in to her kindness and seeking her company instead...and the way she just understands what he needs immediately, allows him to sit in silence and simply exist in peace next to her. describing his mood as "too much of every color" really struck a chord w me as well...i'm just so so in love w the running theme of colors you included throughout this story, it's such a brilliant way to put emotions into words <3

the lil parallels here n there from the beginning of their relationship until now are so cute as well; how lino makes breakfast for her the first time and leaves before she wakes up, but this time, he promises to stay and eat with her...to not be invisible ㅠㅠ i think what's making me craziest of all is how they're both so hyperaware of each other's touch. like when their shoulders brushed while sharing the reader's umbrella, how the reader suddenly finds it difficult to concentrate on her book when lino holds her wrist as she shields him from the sunlight...and little does she know it's the exact same for him too, like when she rested her head on his thigh and all he could focus on was the sensation of her hair tickling him 😭 they are so enamored w each other and have become so tangled up in each other little by little...they don't even fully realize it yet but they've made a permanent place in each other's lives now

"you were already on the other side, you realize. his eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey" oh my GOD!!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠ her feelings abt minho's eyes changing from fear, to longing, to at last the comfort of getting to see the other side of those black holes...this line hit me like a truck it might be my favorite from the entire fic ㅠ i have a feeling i'll be saying that abt many more lines to come when you verbalize things in the most poetic ways imaginable heheh but this one truly got me so good, the delicacy in which you describe minho makes the reader's growing affection for him all the more heart-fluttering~

minho hesitating to wipe her tears )): the way he's so careful abt touching her in any unwarranted way bc he can sense that she shies away from skinship is so devastatingly sweet...and then him pinching her right after to make her stop crying NEVERMIND I CANT STAND HIM ACTUALLY. but the way he consoles her is so endearing and so so minho...very simple and sincere, he knows her well enough to immediately figure out the best way to take her mind off of the issue instead of dwelling on it. "you didn't care what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it" i've already pointed out so many lines oh my god i'm so sorry but each one is like another arrow through my heart ㅠㅠ i feel like this sentence is such a perfect testament to the reader and lino's relationship; they've both seen each other at their best and worst and it doesn't change anything abt their feelings, they care for each other unconditionally 😞 also the reader being afraid of physical touch bc she craves it is SO heartbreaking but so raw...i think it aligns so well w her past bc she's so used to either being invisible, or only being perceived negatively when she is perceived. it makes perfect sense how terrifying she'd find it to bare herself to minho when her whole life she's been deprived of genuine affection...you've really done such a phenomenal job of characterizing both her and lino i cant say it enough!

now...the entire final scene...where do i even begin...i had a feeling the climax of the story was going to hurt but not like this ㅠㅠ the reader's inner turmoil as she debates reaching out to her mother again, that conflicting mix of hating her yet somehow still missing her...it's such an inexplicable and confusing feeling for ppl who have experienced that kind of neglect but so so real and you captured it so candidly. it really added a whole new layer to the reader's humanity, for her to be unable to completely let go of their relationship no matter how painful it is to hold on to...for her to cling to the hope that maybe she could be worth smth to her mother if she did everything right ): i genuinely had the exact same reaction as her when you revealed that her mother had deleted her phone number...it felt precisely like a bucket of ice cold water to the head. the reader trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time where her mother stopped loving her was what really crushed me most...what a heart-wrenching sentence ㅠㅠ the fact that she's tried to hard to find solace in other places and people and tried to grow into her own person after entering university, but even so, those marks left from her childhood are still there...a vase full of cracks 💔 as much as it hurts to read, i love that you included this bump in the road of her healing journey and made a point to highlight that healing isn't linear

and minho 😭😭😭😭😭 the way he handled the reader's outburst is so touching...the way he's immediately able to recognize that her feelings are misplaced and smth much deeper is going on beyond what he sees on the surface...using that astuteness to put his own feelings to the side in the moment is so minho. this entire scene is just blossoming with powerful lines i can't forget, but i was especially affected by the reader saying "i'd need you and i can't afford to need someone else." it's such a tragic summarization of her in my opinion...how she went her whole life being unable to rely on anyone but herself, so the moment she's faced w minho, all her instincts say to reject it no matter how badly she craves that intimacy ㅠㅠ and lino saying "i'll be by your side for as long as you'll have me" is such a beautiful declaration of love...it's so selfless and unconditional, and it fits so seamlessly w how their relationship progressed throughout the story, how they were by each other's sides at their best and worst moments.

"the world doesn't stop because we need it to" "we'll make it stop" and then describing their kiss as like "seeing color for the first time"...i'm going to melt into an inconsolable puddle over all these callbacks to their first date together don't think i didn't catch the ways you weaved those in throughout this final scene..you made it feel so complete, like things have come full circle. i already mentioned how much i loved their conversation abt describing colors to the blind, so for their first kiss to be written that way, like the reader was blind to the true color of the world until she met minho....i am going to be ill that is so intensely romantic sahar ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

"he was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together." another heartaching line ): what a way to personify the quiet love minho provides...it may be invisible to everyone else, but not to her

i'm so sorry for my horrifically long comment haha but i'm just thrilled i was finally able to read this beautiful fic 😞 just as i'd predicted, you're a phenomenal writer!! the amount of love and effort you poured into it went above and beyond, i hope you're so proud of yourself for creating such a stunning work!! it's very clear to me how every interaction you wrote between minho and the reader was so carefully thought out and so meaningful to the overarching theme of the story, it's all done with care and purpose and there's smth special to be found in each line of dialogue! it's like you carefully stacked more and more on to the foundation of their bond until before we know it, there's an entire home there that they built steadily together. that kind of subtle progression is my absolute favorite thing. i'm also so blown away by how the reader's mother, though never actually making an appearance until the final scene, has such an heavy impact over the narrative. it's like she's a ghost haunting the reader's every action, every decision, every inner thought...i find it so impressive how you were able to incorporate that effect into the story without us even needing to meet the mother! and i must've mentioned countless lines that stuck w me throughout the fic, but just know that there are countless more i could've pointed out as well...you truly write so so beautifully. so poetic and emotive, but also not so flowery that it becomes hard to follow, i'm truly floored by your ability to achieve that perfect balance! on top of the story being so immersive in itself, your writing style made invisible thread such a genuine delight to read <3

this feels like the kind of story i'll be thinking abt for a long time after finishing it, the kind to revisit over n over bc i'm sure there are so many lil easter eggs you included that i may have missed! i'm positive i'll come back to it many times in the future hehe...but i can't wait to read more of your writing as well! ^_^

Invisible thread- one

pairing : minho x reader

genre : university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies because they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst.

warnings : reader has a very bad relationship with her mother, insecurities, talk about murder but as a joke, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

summary : Your studies were your lifeline for as long as you can remember. What happens when Minho comes into your life and rips it away from you?

word count : 20k

Author's note : I've been working on this fic on and off for the past two months, so if you do enjoy reading, please let me know. asks, comments, reblogs i read them all and they truly make me the happiest <3 (also i based this off my own college experience, where we study two terms and there is one person on top of the class every semester)

part two

You have always been first in your class.

Not because you particularly enjoyed studying. You simply felt that your worth was solely tied to the marks on your papers.

You never wanted to crumble under the pressure of studies, to hole yourself up in your room for an assignment you won’t remember in a month. But achieving good grades was the only way for you to feel seen; to make someone stop in their tracks and acknowledge you. 

A simple “good job” that you preserved inside your mind, as a reminder that you did exist to other people. Considering that the majority of your life was spent in silence. 

Your mom put a roof above your head and food on your table, but she never asked about your day, nor did she seem to care. You felt as though you were no more important to her than the tapestry hanging on your wall.

At times, you imagined that if you stood close enough to that tapestry, you could merge with it as one. The intricate embroidery would wrap around you and draw you in. And your mother wouldn’t notice. She would regard you with the same indifference she showed towards that textile- a mere decoration, at times a nuisance when she had to dust it.

You always ate your dinner alone. When you scraped your knee, you tended to the wound by yourself. No one attended your childhood musicals, and you patted your back when you cracked an egg without dropping a shell into the bowl. 

You’ve come to learn since your young age that all your milestones, both small and significant, would be celebrated alone. 

On the rare times your mother would acknowledge your presence, she’d unleash a flurry of criticism your way as if she was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to strike you down. She'd toss crude comments over her shoulder as easily as a casual hello, leaving you feeling battered and bruised in her wake. 

You felt as if you were shoreline rocks, and your mother was the ocean. You never knew if she would be like a gentle tide, barely brushing against you, or an enraged storm, mercilessly crashing down on your being. And you weren't sure which one was worse: to be invisible or to be seen and despised.  

That’s why you grew up plagued with self-doubt. You made friends throughout your school years but you never allowed them to get close enough to really see you -you feared that they might glimpse the very thing your mother seemed to despise in you. 

Throughout your childhood, you were like soft clay in your mother's hands- pliable, and easy to mold. And she indented you, everywhere, carved in edges and dips where they should not have been ones. Handled you roughly when you should have been treated with care. And as the years went by, you hardened- much like clay, but her touch remained imprinted upon you. It was difficult at times to discern who you were and who she made you to be.

You tried to start anew when you went away to university; to rewire your brain into believing that you were enough- you exist and you shouldn't prove to anyone that you deserved to be alive. But her words haunted you, they were like skeletons in your closet- but the closet was you. You could never part from them.

So, you fell back into the same pattern of seeking good grades and congratulatory words from your professors. Every A+ you got infused you with a momentary sense of worthiness.

But unlike in high school, you weren't always the best. Your competition came in the form of a single man named Minho, who seemed to excel in every class you shared.

Minho was mostly quiet, but whenever he spoke, you found that his words carried weight. Your professors consistently agreed with his points, and you envied the confidence he exuded. You wondered what it must feel like to be so sure of oneself.

It wasn't until a month into the year that you had your first interaction with Minho. You were in your Constitutional Law class when your professor Kim brought up the notion of ‘Separation of Powers’. You were arguing that judges shouldn’t be included in the writings of law when you heard a scoff from the row behind you. You turned around, raising a brow at the culprit, "Is there something you’d like to say?" you asked.

And in response, Minho smiled lazily, an air of smugness surrounding him, "I just don’t agree." The professor urged him to explain himself, so he leaned back into his chair, eyeing you. "Judges are the ones who practice the law every day, and sometimes they find that none of the written texts fit their case. If they get involved in lawmaking, they can help address those gaps or uncertainties." 

"Who's to say that those judges aren’t biased or politically motivated? They’ll end up writing laws to fit their own preferences," you pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. "We elect judges to interpret and apply laws, not make them. If they start writing laws too, we'll be violating the separation of powers between the legislative and judicial branches. That's what keeps our entire system from crumbling."

Minho rested his chin on his hand, tapping his cheek thoughtfully with his index finger. "Aren’t legislators prone to biases too? Your point doesn’t stand then," he challenged, tilting his head to the side, "and judges can participate without going overboard. They can provide input on proposed laws without actually drafting them. That way, we ensure that the laws are crafted with a clear understanding of how they'll be put into practice." 

"If your main concern is to ensure that the laws are impartial, we have people who work as consulting experts whose job is exactly that," you flashed him an innocent smile, firing back. "Also, wouldn’t these overstepping branches put the judges in a position to be perceived in a bad light? Is that what you want?"

Before Minho could respond, Mr. Kim intervened, putting an end to your debate, "Let's save this energy for your essays and see who can convince me more."

You gave a quick nod, swiveling in your seat without a backward glance. However, you could sense Minho’s gaze penetrating through your back- as if he was trying to read your most intimate thoughts. 

That was the first thing you noticed about Minho when he walked over to you. His eyes were brown, not a special color by any means. But they held a certain depth to them that seemed to draw you in like a black hole. You weren't sure what you would find on the other side, nor did you have any desire to find out.

He outstretched his hands towards you, stopping you in your tracks. "Minho," he introduced and your hand met his in a firm grip. The second thing you noticed about him was the coldness of his hand, as it wrapped tightly around your palm. 

Suddenly you were taken back to when you built a snowman for the first and last time. You were just seven and the ice was freezing, numbing your fingers as you worked. Your mother never told you that you should’ve worn mittens, or a thick jacket to fight off the cold when she saw you walking out of the house. The memory of your cold hands and the horrible illness that followed still left a bitter taste in your mouth, like an unripe fruit. With a jolt you dropped his hand, forcefully pulling yourself away from that memory. 

"Yn," you said back, and he smiled to himself, repeating your name slowly, each syllable dripping from his tongue.  

"We'll see who'll write the best essay, right?" he asked, clearly challenging you. There was a gleam of excitement in his eyes that reminded you of a child gazing up at cotton candy. 

That was the third thing you noticed about Minho; how expressive his eyes were. They moved with his every word, punctuating them. 

He was infuriating but also amusing. You've never had a clear competitor in your life. Or maybe you had, but you didn't notice them. You were always so reclined on yourself, trying to survive the day, you didn't pay enough attention to your surroundings.

"You want to compete with me?" You asked, and he smirked, leaning against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. "What? Scared you’d lose?"

"Please." You rolled your eyes at his taunting, "Don’t come crying when I win."

"We’ll see about that!" He shouted after you as you walked ahead, leaving him behind.

This essay was insignificant. A simple way for your professor to assess your knowledge and work approach. And yet, you found yourself staying up all night to complete it. There was no way you were going to let Minho take this one thing from you.

Who were you if not the best in your studies? You were deathly afraid to find out. 

Later on that week, the professor handed you your grade back, 98%. You turned around to show Minho your mark, and so did he. You surpassed him, only by mere percents. "I told you so," you smiled cheekily and he pouted, holding a hand to his heart as if your grade wounded him.

"I'll beat you next time", he mouthed and you chuckled, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

✹✹✹

The first time you studied with Minho was in a cat café near campus, called Limbo, about two weeks after your initial interaction. You stumbled upon it serendipitously while strolling through your university town. You couldn’t study at home, since you were easily distracted in there, and the eerie silence of libraries often left you unsettled.

Limbo, however, offered the perfect middle-ground: it was calm, not overly crowded, and the buzzing of the coffee machine blended harmoniously with the occasional mewls of cats, which helped you concentrate better. 

You were sitting in a secluded corner table at the café's back, a sleeping black cat comfortably nestled in your lap when you sensed a shadow loom over you. You glanced up quickly to find Minho. He was clad in a grey hoodie sporting a bunny holding up its middle finger. You had to bite your cheek to suppress a grin at his clothing attire.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. 

"You know for someone smart you sure ask stupid questions," you remarked, already looking down at the papers scattered in front of you.

He huffed, taking a seat at the table right next to yours, "I can’t believe that of all places you’ve found this café to study in."

"My apologies, am I disturbing you, your highness?" You asked sarcastically, and in retort, Minho mimicked your words in a high-pitched tone. You threw the pillow right next to you at his head, and Minho swiftly ducked, easily avoiding it. He chuckled loudly while you glared at his laughing figure. That was the end of your conversation that day. 

From that moment forward, it became a routine for the two of you to study at Limbo, every Saturday, without fault. You didn’t explicitly plan on it, but it seemed that both of you found it comforting to work there. And you could also tell that, unlike you, it wasn’t Minho’s first time coming to Limbo. He was friends with the owner, a sweet middle-aged man who offered you pastries whenever you stayed there until closing. The cats seemed to know him too, they mewled at his feet whenever he entered and he always greeted them with a soft smile on his face. 

You didn’t talk much in those unofficial study sessions, the both of you were consumed by your own work. But you’d steal quick glances at him every now and then, the sight of him so concentrated only fueled you to work harder.

Admittedly, your competition left you feeling anxious for days on end at first. Each time Minho came out on top, you’d found yourself losing your grip. Your studies have been the one anchor keeping you afloat your entire life, and now, Minho was ripping it carelessly away from you. So, you resented him- you were human after all.

But then, you realized that Minho’s taunting wasn’t malicious. He wasn’t competing with you to hurt you, he was doing it for amusement only.

You've slowly started to learn that despite his relentless teasing, Minho had a gentle aura surrounding him. Glimpses of which occasionally emerged like rays of sunshine piercing through a thick cloud cover.

True, he chuckled when you accidentally bumped your head on the table while retrieving a fallen pen. Yet, you also noticed how he began to cover the table's corners with his hand whenever you bent down. He swiftly retracted his hand, seemingly believing you didn't notice, but you did.

During class presentations, he deliberately prepared challenging questions for you, urging you to study twice as hard to ensure no stone was left unturned. Yet, whenever the professor praised your performance, Minho offered a subtle thumbs-up as a gesture of support. He winked at you each time he got the right answer and you didn’t. However, when he noticed you struggling with a particular subject, he scooted closer and patiently explained it to you. He got up before you could thank him, swatting his arm in the air as if he didn’t do anything of significance. 

To show your appreciation, you bought him a drink that day he helped you—a simple gesture that sparked an ongoing game of "win a bet, get free food". You bet on who would receive the first mark on an assignment or who would finish an essay first- anything to further deepen the competition between you.

That's how you came to know that he loved puddings, among other things.

Curiously, as the months went by, your mind began to retain these little details about him. How his eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings when he blinked repeatedly during your conversations. How he glanced at the ceiling when lost in deep thought as if he was waiting for the answers to descend from the sky. Or how his lips take on the shape of an "o" while thinking of his response during one of your many debates. But you supposed that it was natural to take notice of such things when you spend countless Saturday afternoons with the same person.

You were still studying for someone else, in the sense that each time you stayed up working, it was solely to prove your worth to Minho. But at least unlike your mother, Minho's words never haunted you at night.

✹✹✹

Just like that, four months have gone by since you joined your university as a law major. It was nearing finals week and you were preparing it at Limbo. Minho was naturally present too, at his usual table right next to yours.

On the last weekend before the beginning of your finals, you were head-deep into your Criminal Law documents when Minho abruptly got up from his seat and settled in the chair in front of you.

"Yn," he whispers and you glance at him, "What?" 

"I have an idea."

"Keep it to yourself," you grin sarcastically, only for him to pick up your spoon and move it around in a threatening manner.

"Are you trying to scare me with a spoon?" you chuckle in disbelief.

 "Anything can be a weapon if you use enough force."

"Okay… that was creepy. What do you want?"

"The end of the first term is coming up. So, to celebrate our little rivalry-"

"It's not a rivalry if I’m always winning," you cut him off.

"Yeah, that’s why I have a fridge full of pudding."

"But-"

"Anyways, how about the top of the class takes the other out for dinner? A fancy one." He suggests, his gaze fixed on you.

"No, thank you. I already see you enough in classes."

"Didn’t think you wouldn’t up for a bet. Guess I was wrong," he remarks, a cheeky smile drawn on his lips. He knows you couldn’t possibly say no now.  

"Fine," you roll your eyes at his proud expression. "Prepare your wallet." 

"Mm, sure," he responds, before rising from his seat once more.

That day, you both lost track of time as you studied in Limbo until it closed down. When you finally stepped outside, stretching your tired limbs, you were met with the sight of falling snowflakes.

"Nooo, go away. I don't want to watch the first snow with you," Minho whines, referring to the superstition that watching the first snowfall with someone could spark love between the two of you. 

"As if I could ever love you," you laugh at the ridiculous idea, "that’d just be signing a death warrant."

You resume walking towards your apartment when suddenly something freezing and hard hits your back with enough force to make you stagger. Turning around slowly, you find Minho erupting in laughter, his body filled with uncontainable joy. He’s jumping and clapping excitedly, and for a fleeting moment, you can’t decide if your shock was from the impact or from how beautiful happiness looks on him. 

Snapping out of your daze, you swiftly retaliate by scooping up a handful of snow and hurling it at him. "Now you are cold too!" you shout, while he’s still laughing uncontrollably. 

Thus begins an impromptu snowball fight between the two of you. Unsurprisingly, you’re being competitive in this too, trying your best to strike each other before the other could recover. But Minho draws nearer to you, and in your desperation to win, you fall to the ground when he throws a snowball at your chest, gasping as if you’re in pain.

"Shit, did I hurt you?" Minho quickly kneels in front of you, concern evident in his voice. It surprises you for a moment- how worried he seems at the prospect of causing you pain.

But you shake that thought off and push him down to the ground, a proud smile on your face. In his fall, Minho instinctively reaches for you to steady himself, which ends up with you landing on top of him. Your faces are mere inches apart, and a soft gasp escapes your mouth at your sudden proximity.

Minho has a mole on his nose. You’ve never noticed that before. 

You quickly push yourself off of him, not enjoying being this close to somebody. "Why did you drag me down with you?" you grumble, shaking off the snow from your hair.

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," he cheekily stuck out his tongue, and you respond with the same childlike gesture before the both of you burst into loud laughter. The sound reverberates through your entire being, and it echoes in your mind long after the two of you go your separate ways.  

As you lay in bed that night, ready to drift off to sleep, a quiet realization dawns on you. This was the first time you've touched snow in since your childhood incident.

That unpleasant memory didn't cross your mind once. Instead, all you thought about was Minho’s infectious laughter, and the surprising warmth it stirred within you.

✹✹✹

You came first in your grade this semester.

True to his words, Minho texted you the name of the restaurant where you’d both meet to celebrate your win. As you got ready for your outing, you couldn’t help the nerves creeping up on you. Studying in silence next to Minho was something, going to a friendly dinner with him was another. You feared it would be too awkward and Minho would regret ever proposing such a thing.

So, as you sit in the refined BBQ restaurant waiting for him, you fidget with your hands, counting down to three in your head in an attempt to steady your breathing.

You were clearly not accustomed to existing with Minho outside of the confines of your studies.

"Did you wait long?" Minho asks as he finally pulls the chair in front of you and you shake your head no.

"Are you nervous?" he chuckles at your lack of words, and you frown, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why would I be nervous? This isn't a date."

"Who said anything about a date?" he smirks and you grab your fork threateningly, pointing it at him, "Don't say anything stupid or I will walk out."

"And stand me up on our first date? That's too mean.” He pouts, a hand on his heart and you can’t help but giggle at his antics. You were ridiculous for being nervous. This was Minho, the one person you’ve talked to the most since the start of this year. 

"What will you have?" he asks and you smile mischievously.

 "Most expensive thing on the menu."

"So you are only here for the food." 

"Well, it's certainly not for your company," you wink and he chuckles, his bunny teeth on full display. 

"And here I thought we were going to be civil with each other."

"When are we ever not?" you gasp dramatically and Minho swats your hand with the menu. "Just order whatever," you finally answer," I trust your food judgment."

"I could poison you, you know?" He smiles proudly and you roll your eyes at him, "Can’t you be normal, for once?"

Minho calls over the waiter and places your orders. The food is quick to arrive and Minho starts to grill up the meat, while you cut the Kimchi into smaller pieces. 

"Here," he puts the perfectly cooked rib onto your plate first and you smile at him, "Thank you."

"Eat up, don’t wait for me," he tells you and you nod, tasting the flavorful meat.

"Wow this is really good," you compliment and he smirks proudly at your words, "I know."

Minho places four other ribs for you, without eating one himself. You start to feel bad, so you grab his chopsticks, pick up the meat, and move it toward his mouth, "Open up."

"What?" He asks confused and you wave the food in front of his face, "Come on, you haven’t eaten anything."

Minho parts his lips slowly, and you feed the tender meat to him, before eating one yourself. You notice how his cheeks are slightly tinted pink now, and you account it to the intense heat of the grill.

"Oh, let's not talk about studies, my brain can't take another debate with you," you tell Minho in between bites and he grins at you, a gleam of excitement in his eyes. "If you were to dispose of a body, how would you do it?"

"I think our next celebration will be in an asylum." you smile too sweetly at him and he stares at you pointedly, "Please, I know you've already thought about it."

"Fine. Probably in a deserted land. What about you?"

"I'd cut their bodies and then bury each part in a different forest. In a different city."

His answer came too quickly, and you pause in your tracks, "Should I be worried?"

"You are too cute to kill." His tone is sarcastic and you make a show of gushing at his compliment, clasping both of your hands in front of your heart, "Growing soft on me, Minho?" 

"Yeah, I’m basically sooo in love with you," he replies with a smirk and you roll your eyes at him, an amused smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"What's your favorite color?" you finally ask, changing the subject.

"Purple."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You'll buy me purple flowers?" He coos at you and you shake your head as you grab the utensil from his hand, to grill the meat your turn. 

"No. I'll paint your tombstone purple," you grin and he laughs loudly, eyes squinted close, and you can't find it in you to care that the people next to you are staring. 

"What's yours?" he asks when he calms down and you shrug, "Navy blue, I think."

"You do remind me of navy blue."

"And why is that?"

"When you look at it, at first glance, it looks like black. But the more you stare at it, the more layers you uncover. Just like you. There’s more to you than what meets the eye."

You grab your glass of water, gulping it down to hide the way your eyes just glossed over. You suddenly felt bare in front of Minho. How did he know?

You clear your throat, racking your brain for a way to move on from that question. "If you were to describe colors to a blind person, how would you do it?"

"Mm," he looks up at the ceiling as he mulls over your question, "I’d say that yellow is the feeling of eating ice cream on a sunny day, in an amusement park. Your fingers are sticky but your cheeks ache from how much you smiled that day."

"Yellow is carefree and happy."

"Exact. Now your turn, red."

"I’d say that... Red is the thrill that rushes through your veins when you do something you are passionate about, you know? It’s what makes our blood boil and our heart race. The very essence of our humanity."

Minho smiles softly at your words, seemingly agreeing with your description. "Don’t you think it would be easier if we simply asked, what color are you feeling today, instead of a 'How are you'?" He questions and you tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you could say, I feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to. Or, I feel bright yellow as if the world's energy is stored inside me."

"And right now, how do you feel?"

"I feel orange, not the ugly orange." He precises and you chuckle, "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean."

"A bittersweet orange, an ending that instantly strings along a new beginning. And you don't have time to rest."

Minho places his chin on his palm, eyeing you curiously, "Is that what you want? To rest?"

"Yeah." You admit quietly, "Don't you sometimes wish that the world would just stop, for a few seconds? Just like in a song, right before the beat drops. That silence, I wish I could live inside of it."

"I do too."

You both hold each other’s gaze for a while after that. You felt as if he was keeping you captive with his brown eyes, and he was slowly peeling each of your layers, in silence, as you were peeling his. For the first time, you think that you and he are similar, more than on a studies level. There was a part of his soul that understood yours perfectly. And it felt good, to be understood, for once.

"If you lived in this silence, what would you be doing?" he asks, breaking the serene quiet that surrounded you.

"I’d open a café that had books. And there'd be a little space, where people could paint. Or do pottery. And I’d have cats in there too." You reply excitedly, hands moving around in the air, you end up missing the way Minho gazes fondly at you before his smile morphs into a smirk.

"Please tell me you won't be cooking."

"Shut up. What about you?"

"I’d be a dancer."

"You dance?!" you whisper-shout and he frowns at the surprised look on your face. 

"Yeah. Why are you looking at me like this?"

"I just never expected it. Can I-"

"No." he cuts you off immediately and you pout. 

"I didn't even finish."

"I knew what you were going to say."

"Please, I won't make a sound I’d just watch. Pinky promise.” He grabs your now outstretched pinky with the tip of his index and thumb, lowering it down. 

"I’d only grant you this wish when you’re on your deathbed."

"Bold of you to assume you'd still be around."

"Death might be around the corner."

"Stop it."

"Close your door tonight."

"You are deranged."

Minho chuckles at the crestfallen look on your face, "I’ll think about it."

Just like that, three hours of talking have gone by, the conversation flowing easily between the two of you. And when you finally leave the restaurant, Minho grabs you a cab and you wave him off with a smile. You couldn't lie to yourself, you had a really good time with him. You liked to think that Minho was no longer just a rival, but a possible friend.

But now that you were laying in your bed, you couldn’t help but curse Minho in your brain. His repetitive talk about murder made you paranoid, and now every creak in your apartment made you feel as if death was really right around the corner. 

You decide to text him, figuring that if you couldn’t sleep because of him, you could at least disturb him for a bit. 

Yn : I hate you I'm paranoid from your murder talk

Minho : Poor baby

Yn : Is that you at my door?

Suddenly your phone rings, the shrill sound echoing around your apartment. It was a Facetime call from Minho. You panic for a few seconds, before remembering that you just spent your entire night with him. A call can’t be more daunting than a real-life meeting. 

"See, I’m in my home," he tells you as soon as you pick up and you laugh.

"It's pitch black, I can't see."

"Just say you miss my face." You can’t see him but you can clearly hear the proud grin in his voice. 

"What's there to miss?"

"Are you actually scared?" Minho asks gently and you clear your throat, feeling ridiculous all of the sudden. 

"There is a tree right outside my window and it keeps rustling from the wind," you grumble and Minho laughs at you. 

"Trees can't hurt you."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Close your eyes.” He instructs and you frown at his words. 

"Why?"

"I’ll tell you a story."

"Fine.” You close your eyes tentatively. It’s quiet for a few seconds and you feel yourself relax slightly. 

"So, I bought a sous-vide machine and-"

"Is your bedtime story going to be about meat?"

"Yes?” He replies as if it’s an evidence, “Now be quiet." You pretend to zip your mouth and Minho faintly giggles, before resuming his story. "So, I was saying. I bought one and I wanted to experience different kinds of meats. So, I bought a 30-day aged one and a 58-day aged one and I cooked them both."

"What did you use?" you ask quietly. 

"Just garlic, and thyme, I didn't want to overpower the taste of meat. Anyways I cooked them, but I didn't have plastic bags so I had to go out and buy them."

"Mm," you hum in acknowledgment. You could feel your nerves slowly dissipate with Minho's every word. His story might be ridiculous but his honey-coated voice compensated for it, wrapping around you like a protective cocoon. 

"And I found pudding there so I had to buy it."

"Obviously," you whisper. Sleep was knocking on your door, but paradoxically you tried to fight it off. You wanted to hear the rest of Minho’s story. 

"And I went back home and I cooked it, then I plated it nicely with vegetables that I sauteed with butter and garlic. Just mushrooms and potatoes, nothing too fancy. Again, my main focus was the meat. But there wasn't a difference between the two. They tasted the same for me, for some reason. And I didn't like this because the aged one was very expensive. Maybe I was scammed. Honestly, that butcher looked kind of suspicio..."

Your quiet snores make Minho pause in his tracks, and he laughs quietly. You did end up falling asleep. He can't see your face clearly, but he can see its outline and he stares at you for a while. You look peaceful.

He goes to hang up but his finger hovers over the 'end call' button. You aren't talking, but your hums are quiet enough that they fill up the space around him. It calms him down, and he lets his head fall on the pillow, his phone lying beside him.

He closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on. 

You just made his world stop.

✹✹✹

The second semester had just started and with it the return of frat parties. You were excited at the prospect of going to one with your new friend Mina. You met her in the library when you both went to grab the same book. You quickly apologized but she waved you off, handing you the book with a huge smile on her face. She was bubbly, like a human serotonin boost, and she started gushing about how much she loved the author. You saw her again in the campus cafeteria, and she skipped towards you as if you've both known each other your entire life. That was the start of your friendship.

You walk into the frat house, both your arms encircling each other. The flashing lights of the party blind you for a moment, and it takes you a while to adjust to the loud music bouncing off of the walls. But you like it, it was like a shield from the outside world and its problems. 

You feel yourself letting loose in the crowd, swaying your hips to the music. Mina spins you around and you laugh, dancing with no care in the world. It was just the both of you in that instant. 

Mina spots Jeongin in the crowd, a friend of hers that she had an immense crush on. You couldn’t blame her- he was very attractive; his easy smirk and his blonde tousled hair earned him lots of appreciative looks from the people around him. But when his eyes locked with Mina’s, you found that his face morphed into a beautiful smile, that made his dimples look on full display, as if it was only reserved for her.

“Go get your man!” You shout in her ears, so she’d be able to hear you. 

“What are you talking about?” She yells back, but you could see the nervous smile on her face.

“He likes you! Go talk to him!”

“I don’t want to leave you alone. We came together!” She clasps your hand in hers and you smile touched by her kind spirit.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll go to the kitchen to get some drinks. Go have fun!”

“You are sure?” She asks, her eyes darting between you and Jeongin, who was still looking at her, and her only. 

“Yes! Go!” You say, gently pushing her away. Mina jogs up to Jeongin who greets her with a side hug. He quickly glances at you and you shoot him a thumbs-up, to which he grins. You loved playing Cupid.

With that, you decide to head to the kitchen to grab a drink. You pick a beer from the fridge, double-checking if the can is closed before opening it. 

You lean on the countertop, sipping on your drink while you watch the crowd, humming along each time a song you knew played. You enjoyed watching people dance freely from afar, with no apparent care in the world.

You feel someone stand next to you and you brace yourself, getting ready to tell the person off if they decide to bother you. You didn’t have the energy for mindless flirting. But then, you smell the cologne that has lingered around you for the past term- Minho. You haven't seen him since your dinner. That was a month ago.

"Fancy seeing you here," he greets as he leans on the counter right next to you, his eyes fixated on the mingling bodies.

You turn around to face him, faking an outraged gasp, "Are you following me?"

"Mmm. You look nice", he compliments and you smile cheekily, "I know."

"Won't tell me I look nice too?" he smirks, leaning closer to your face. "Someone didn’t get enough compliments tonight?" You pout, placing a hand on your heart in mock concern.

"I did, but I want to hear it from you. You’re the only sensible person in this room."

"You look nice. Now leave me alone."

"Come on, I know you can do better than that", he jokes and you roll your eyes, muttering “You’re annoying”, under your breath.

Still, you comply, placing your arms on top of the counter and leaning your head on them to get a better look at him. He does the same, smiling, and you both stare at each other for a while after that.

The strobing lights dance on Minho’s face, casting enticing shadows on him. You've always known he was a beautiful man; you've looked into his eyes far too many times in your heated conversations. But this time was different, there was no cheeky smirk on his face nor a furrow in his eyebrows. He was simply looking at you, and it made a pool of warmth huddle in your belly. You feel yourself relax under his gaze, everything around you seemingly melts away.

You weren’t wrong when you thought that his eyes were like a black hole, pulling you in. But this time, you realize that you didn’t mind knowing what was on the other side. On the contrary, you longed for it. 

"I like your eyes right now. They remind me of the night sky. Black, with tiny little stars littered in them," you finally say.

Minho is taken aback by your words, he wasn't expecting you to compliment him, let alone to tell him something so special. He can feel his cheeks burn red at your words, feel his heart hammering in his chest. He's afraid you can hear it too.

He doesn't know what to say, so instead he clears his throat, plastering a smirk on his face, "I heard better." He hasn't. This is the first genuine compliment he's ever gotten.

"Oh, fuck off," you laugh and he joins you. The music was loud and yet the only sound his ear seemed to pick up was your laugh.

"Are you here alone?" He asks, and you shake your head no, "Came with my friend Mina."

"Did she leave you by yourself?" He frowns and you feel yourself warm up at his worried tone. "I told her to go talk to Jeongin."

"Next time, don’t stay alone."

“Fine, Dad.” You chastise and he stares pointedly at you, "I’m serious, yn."

You take another swing of the beer before turning your body fully towards Minho. After a few beats of silence, you finally ask a question that has been on your mind for a while. "Why do you say my name this way?"

"What way?" He questions and you shrug, "Slowly. People used to always rush it but you don’t."

"Well, it’s a pretty name. It deserves to be pronounced as a whole."

You beam at his words; you smile so brightly it makes his heart skip a beat. This is the first time you’ve grinned this widely at him, no hand in front of your mouth as if to hide it. He did notice how you were a reserved person outside of class, as if you were afraid of taking up too much place. But he could tell you were slowly unraveling, growing bolder with each passing month. He wanted to tell you that if people like you spoke more, the world would be a far better place. 

But he couldn't bring himself to say all of this, so he forced those bubbling words down his throat. "I’m hungry," he whines instead and you laugh at his pout. "I'm kind of craving a greasy pizza."

"Should we go buy it? You can tell Mina to come so we can walk her back."

"I’ll ask her."

You shoot Mina a text, asking her where she was and telling her about your plan. She replies that she’s with Jeongin who just offered to take her home, so you could leave without her.

"We can go." You tell him and he nods. Minho shrugs his leather jacket off, gently placing it on your shoulders. His warmth engulfs you and you sink further into it. His arm hovers around your shoulder not touching you as he leads you out of the party. He has never touched your body, you note, it's like he was everywhere and nowhere at once.

You both walk to an open parlor near the frat house, and you order a Margarita pizza to share. You sit down on a nearby bench to eat it- the night breeze too liberating to pass up on.

As you both finish eating, a cat with white and orange stripes all over her body approaches the both of you cautiously, and you pat her head softly. "Aren't you the cutest thing ever?" you coo and Minho chuckles as he scratches the cat’s chin. She purrs at his touch appreciatively, and you smile at the soft look on his face. 

"Never knew you to be this gentle", you giggle and Minho shushes you, "Let's not do this in front of the cat."

"Why are you acting as if we are a divorced couple and she’s our child."

"Easy, yn. You make it sound as if you want me to marry you."

"Now you're just projecting," you chastise and he laughs, eliciting giggles from you. He had a melodic laugh, you noticed, and you always felt a surge of pride whenever you made him close his eyes and tip his head from laughter. You felt as if it's a sight only you can see.

"I have three cats", he says softly and you gasp, "Really? We spent all of our Sundays in a cat café and this is when you tell me?"

"I only tell my friends."

"So we're friends now?" You gush and he rolls his eyes at you, "I take it back."

"What’s their names?" You ask curiously and his eyes soften at your question- you could easily tell he loved them dearly.

"Soongie, Doongie, and Dori. They are rescues."

"That’s very sweet of you Minho."

"Most of my scars come from them though," he chuckles but you sober up at his words, quietly scratching the cat's ears.

"What’s on your mind?" He asks and you glance at him. It was scary how well he’s starting to know you. But it was also nice; to be known is to exist, after all.

"I just... Sometimes I wish that memories would leave physical scars on you. Because at least then, you could treat them, put a band-aid on, and watch them fade away day by day. Because when the scars are emotional, you can’t treat them, you know? And someday someone brings up a name or a place, or you smell a certain scent, and suddenly they reopen as if no time has gone by at all.”

Minho stays silent for a while, mulling over your words. You don't mind, you weren't expecting him to comfort you. You just needed to free those words from the mental prison you've held them in for so long.

"Do you know Kintsugi?" he finally asks and you shake your head no.

"It's a Japanese art. They put back together broken vases with molten gold. It represents strength despite our flaws."

"That sounds nice," you sigh wistfully and he nods. 

"It is. When you look at that vase, you know that it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty, on the contrary, it adds to it. Scars, whether they are emotional or physical are there for a reason. They remind us of how we pushed through whatever life threw at us."

"Am I supposed to be grateful I survived this?" You chuckle lowly, as your hand scratches the cat’s ear. Your fingers brush against Minho’s and you hesitate for a few seconds before moving them away.

"I wouldn't say grateful for what you went through," he speaks once again, "but grateful to yourself. At the end of the day, the reason why you're still here is you. You put yourself back together," he then bumps his elbow into your side softly, "and hey, even if your scars reopen there will come a time when they wouldn’t anymore. Sometimes, it takes a while to be okay again."

This was Minho’s way of telling you that someday it wouldn’t hurt anymore. That someday you’d be okay. And you needed to hear that. You needed to hear someone else other than yourself tell you that.

"Thank you, Minho, I needed that", you smile at him and he grins back at you before his smile turns to a smirk. "I charge 15 dollars for the hour by the way."

"Oh, come on! You didn't even say something revolutionary." You are lying. Minho's words will echo in your mind long after this night- a beacon of light to hold onto.

"Oh, so now it’s no longer ‘I needed that’. Tsk," he jokes a smirk still plastered on his face.

"Okay, Mr. Therapist. I’ll pay for your coffee tomorrow, sounds good?"

"I should have you as my client more often," he winks and you laugh, head tipped back. You were grateful more than ever for his teasing, loving how it wasn’t awkward between you after your discussion.

"You are a good listener." You tell him as you stand up, dusting your pants.

"I’m good at everything," he grins cheekily at you and you roll your eyes playfully, "And here I thought we were having a moment."

You both start walking side by side toward your home when Minho speaks again. His tone is quiet as if he wasn’t sure he wanted you to hear him. "About earlier, your compliment, I mean. I suppose I didn't thank you. So, thank you," he scratches the tip of his ears and you shrug nonchalantly. "It's the truth. You might get on my ass but that doesn't change the fact you are a pretty man."

He doesn’t respond and you tug at the sleeve of his shirt playfully, "You won't tell me I’m pretty too?"

"But then I’d be lying."

"Asshole."

"Pretty," he replies without missing a beat.

You laugh loudly, hand tightly clutching your stomach and he joins you. There is a newfound lightness in your steps now. Unbeknownst to him, Minho just managed to lift a small weight off your shoulders, allowing you a brief moment of respite.

"This is me," you say when you arrive in front of your apartment block, "Thank you for walking me home."

"Of course. Don't dream of me."

"Idiot," you laugh waving him off and he does the same. "Oh, and text me when you get home safely!" you shout before heading inside.

For the second time this night, Minho is blushing profusely at your words. He sighs to himself, waiting patiently until a light turns on in your place to leave.

✹✹✹

It’s been two months since the start of the new term. You still went to Limbo, every Saturday with Minho- even when you didn’t need to study. 

Sometimes you’d just grab a book and you’d both read, a cat lazily lounging at your feet. You started sitting at the same table too; you figured it was easier since one of you always pays for the other. When you have a bet, but also randomly, when you notice that the other person is feeling down and you want to cheer them up without saying anything.

That's why you bought three bubble teas for Minho in a row. He was quieter these days, you noticed. He didn’t talk to you nor did he retort back in class. It was the first time you’ve seen him this way. As if he was a simple shell of the person he usually is. 

You were walking out of your Communications Strategies class, which Minho weirdly didn’t come to when you realized that it was pouring rain. You smile lightly to yourself, grateful since you thought about picking up an umbrella this morning. 

As you walk through campus, everyone around you running to take shelter, you spot someone sitting on a bench, completely drenched from the rain. Their head is hung low and you frown to yourself. They would surely get a cold if they stay there.

But then the person raises their head and you quickly realize it's Minho. You jog up to him instinctively, standing in front of him and shielding him from the rain with your umbrella.

He looks up at you and you feel your heart clench. His eyes are void of emotion and he stares blankly at you. "Are you okay?" you ask and he blinks at your words, as if his brain hadn't yet registered that you were there.

"Yeah."

"You don't look like it", you tilt your head to the side and he looks down again. You have to strain to hear his next words, muffled by the rain and his mumbling, "I don't want to talk, yn."

You decide to put away your umbrella and sit down next to him on the bench. The rain falls rapidly on both of you, and you feel yourself grow cold from it. 

"What are you doing?" He questions, turning to the side to look at you.

"Enjoying the rain. It is kind of stupid that we have umbrellas, right?"

"You'll catch a cold."

"I mean we always complain about the drought and then when it rains, we hide from it. But it's really beautiful."          

"Stop, I don't want you to get sick."

"Well, neither do I. Let's go eat some soup. My treat."

"Yn, I don’t-"

"I thought you were smart enough to know I won't take no for an answer."

"But I-" you cut him off again. "Also, I’m doing this for me because when you order for two, they give you a lot of side dishes. Now come on."

You stand up and he looks doubtfully at you, before following suit. You open up the umbrella again and hold it over both of your heads. He has to huddle close to you, and your shoulders brush against each other. Once, twice. Not that you're keeping count. But your body is always hyper-aware of Minho’s proximity. You also notice how he silently moves from your right to your left, this way he's the one walking right next to the speeding cars. Your hold on the umbrella tightens. You were still not used to those small attentions of his. 

You arrive in front of your apartment block and he hesitates. "Come up, I won't murder you I promise." You joke and he smiles lightly back at your words. Progress.

He enters your dorm and you can see him eying his surroundings. You know that if it was another time, he would have teased you about something- anything. But he stays quiet, and you find yourself missing the sound of his voice.

"Would you like to shower?" You offer and he nods, "Please."

You lead him to your bathroom and show him where the washing machine is. "Put your clothes in there for a quick wash and dry. You can shower meanwhile."

He nods again as you hand him a towel. "I'll be outside."

You quickly leave the bathroom to place the soup orders, and Minho discards his wet clothes, walking into your shower. The water is piping hot, and he leans his forehead on the cold tiles. He doesn’t move for the first ten minutes, too tired at the prospect of lifting his limbs.

Nothing particular happened. But he’d go through days when he’d quiet down because everything around him was too much. The feel of his clothes against his skin, and the sun streaming through his curtains. But it always passes. Minho was a realistic man and he knew that his emotions would regulate themselves. That’s why he didn’t like appearing vulnerable in front of other people.

But for some reason, he didn’t mind lowering his guard with you. He knew you wouldn’t judge.

He sighs, grabbing your cherry-scented shampoo and pouring it into his hands. He can clearly smell you now. The scent of your hair that always tickles his nose, whenever you are sitting close to him. Your body wash is next and he wonders if this is how your skin smells, like vanilla and jasmine, and something entirely you. 

Forty minutes later, Minho finally steps out of the shower. His clothes are clean and he quickly puts them on. He dries his hair with the towel as he walks out of your bathroom towards the living room. 

He finds you sitting on the ground, in front of a heater that looks close to giving up. He makes a mental note of giving you the one he has since he doesn't really use it. You changed out of your clothes too, and you are now wearing a pair of pajamas with little bunnies sewn into it. The sight almost manages to make him smile. 

"Still cold?" you question when you notice him standing behind you, unmoving, and he shakes his head no.

"Good, the soup is here." You say cheerfully, pointing at the steaming bowls sitting on your table. Minho hums in reply and you stand up, grabbing the towel from his hands to place it on the drying rack.

You come back, a soft green blanket in your hands. You sit on the couch and pat the spot beside you. Minho sits next to you, and you lay the blanket on both of your laps, before handing him his soup.

You start the show you’ve been last watching, as you both eat in silence, your legs crisscrossed. You make some comments throughout the episodes. You figured that it was a safe territory, to talk about something as mundane as this. He didn't reply but you didn't mind. You weren't here to have a conversation with him. You just wanted to distract him.

You realize at that moment that Minho always looked so put together to you. But he had problems of his own too. That much was obvious. It made you feel closer to him, in a sense. You were both just trying to make it through the day.

Two hours later, you get up to grab a book, handing Minho the remote to put on a show of his own. You curl in a ball in the corner, reading where you left off last night.

"Can you... Can you read out loud?" Minho speaks for the first time in a while and you look at him. His eyes are closed, his head resting against your couch.

"Sure."

You start to read, and Minho further sinks into the couch. He feels at home here. Because the blanket is soft and the light is dim enough to not hurt his eyes. Or it could be that he smells like you, a scent so comforting he wants to bury himself in it. Or maybe it's your voice that floats through the air, slowly clouding Minho’s every sense. He feels as if he could see the words you were pronouncing dancing in front of his eyes. You enunciated each syllable clearly, making sure that no sound was forgotten.

As Minho gently drifted to sleep, he felt as if he was part of the words you read out loud. He felt as if you were treating him with the same care, making sure that he knew he wasn't invisible. At least not to you.

When you wake up the next morning, Minho is gone. And his place beside you on the couch is empty. He made you breakfast, scrambled eggs, and freshly pressed orange juice. And right next to it you find a note, "Thank you for reading to me."

✹✹✹

Minho didn't believe in having a lot of friends. He was content with the two people he had, Chan and Changbin. The latter was his high school friend, he skipped a year and ended up being in the same class as Minho. They didn't talk at first until the day Changbin dropped a book on Minho's foot. The brooding man started apologizing profusely, and that was the start of their friendship. They've kept in touch since.

Chan was his roommate at university. It's not that he particularly wanted to befriend him, but Chan was a social butterfly and he quickly managed to pull Minho into his friendly trap. He annoys Minho the most, but in an endearing way. And although Chan is older, Minho still strangely developed a soft spot for him. 

And he supposes he has you too now. At first, you weren’t friends, rivals at most. He enjoyed reeling you up and having you frown at his words in your heated debates. He also liked talking to you, because your ideas were interesting and you always gave him a new fresh perceptive to see things.

That’s how he strictly saw you as, an intelligent human who he liked to debate with.

But then he started to look forward to meeting up with you at Limbo. He no longer minded the fact that you took his self-assigned table, from his high school days. And he laughed more freely with you, enjoying how you always had a witty retort sitting at the tip of your tongue. 

That’s how he started to notice things that friends most definitely notice. How you have a charm bracelet you always fidget with whenever you are nervous. How you stray away from physical touch. How you scratch your eyebrow when you are deep in thought.

But also, how you seem to have an obsession with cherries. Your cherry pendant, your cherry-scented shampoo, and your cherry-tainted lips. A friend would most certainly think that your lips are like red wine-stained glass.

He remembers one of the many times when you were at Limbo, and he saw you reapply your lip tint, or so you called it. You caught him looking and he swiftly averted his gaze, but it wasn't quick enough. Suddenly you were in front of him, a tiny red bottle in hand.

"Let me apply it to you," you smiled and he pushed your head away with his pointer finger. "No."

"Please," you pouted and he couldn't help but find you adorable. You sometimes reminded him of a small kitten. But he didn’t dare to call you by that nickname. 

"Never."

"If I score more than you in our environmental assignment then I will do it."

"Fine." he huffed so that you'd leave him alone.

Minho didn't study for that assignment. He blamed it on a headache, not that it's ever stopped him before. And two weeks later you were in front of him, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. You applied the lip tint gently on his plump lips, carefully tracing over his cupid bow. 

Your face was mere inches away from his and he noticed how you were wearing a gloss today, for change. It was shimmering under the lights and he usually didn't like glittery things, but he couldn't take his eyes off your lips. 

"All done!" you clapped excitedly, snapping him out of his haze. You then shove your phone camera into his face so he'd look at the results.

"You should be a model. Your face is perfectly sculpted," you comment nonchalantly, before sitting back in your seat. 

“I know.” He replies confidently, but his hand kept fiddling with the tip of his now pink ears. He couldn't concentrate for the rest of the night.

You were his friend because he always worried if you were eating enough. That’s why he urged you to grab a bite in the convenience store near Limbo, whenever you finished up your studying late.

This was one of the many times you sat on the minuscule table outside, hot ramen bowls in front of the both of you. Minho huffed in annoyance between each bite, his bangs were getting longer, disturbing him when he leaned down to slurp his noodles. 

“Here,” you stand up from your place, a hair tie in your hands. 

“What are you doing?” He questions as you stand behind him. You don’t reply, silently grabbing his hair and putting it up in a tiny ponytail, this way it wouldn’t get in his eyes anymore.

“Voila,” you sit back down, resuming your eating. Minho was grateful for the dimly lit street because his entire face was burning up. Your fingers in his hair were gentle and he wondered how it would feel if you ran your fingers through it. 

This was something friends think about, right? 

"I’ll cut my hair tomorrow," he clears his throat. He didn't know why he told you. You certainly weren't interested in his hair endeavors.

"What?!" you yell, "Don't. Your hair is beautiful why would you cut it?"

"Because it's getting longer."

"But it suits you."

Minho also noticed how you always threw compliments his way. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a genuine one. He couldn't help but wonder what made you this way. Did you so freely give love to others because you knew how it felt to not receive it?

"I’ll still cut it."

Minho returned home; his hair still clipped back in a ponytail. Chan eyed him weirdly but he shut him off with a glare. The elastic remained at his bedside since.

He didn't cut his hair.

The moment Minho started to consider you a close friend, was when you invited him over to watch your show. You didn’t force him to open up that night, and he appreciated it, more than he let on.

That's how a week later, he finds himself walking towards your dorm again. The thoughts in his head got too much, and Chan was immersed in his makeshift studio, which meant he won't be free for the next four hours, minimum.

He didn't plan on going to you. It was late at night and you were probably asleep, but his feet naturally led him to the direction of your place.

He knocks softly on your door. He wasn't even sure if he wanted you to open. What would you think of him showing up at eleven pm? He should have thought this thro-

"Minho?" you call out, and he startles a bit, his feet already inching away from the door.

"This was a bad idea, I'm sorry," he starts to retract back but you grab the hem of his jacket to stop him. "Do you... Do you want to watch my show with me?" you ask, a soft smile on your face and he nods tentatively.

"Okay, come in," you open the door wider and Minho follows you inside. The look in his eyes reminds you of the day you found him sitting under the rain. You didn't like it, you wanted him to find his spark back, his usual demeanor. He wasn't deserving of anything but happiness.

"I’ve started a new show, this one's a bit more romantic, so don't go around imagining me as the main character," you tease and he scoffs at your words, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He doesn't reply, but you don't mind. There was this secret agreement between the two of you, you would talk and he would listen. He needed the distraction, and you needed the company. Sometimes the line between alone and lonely blurs, and on days like these, Minho’s presence fills the void inside.

You comment on the scenes and Minho hums in reply, you watch three episodes in a row, and your eyes are getting drowsy, so you close them.

"Minho," you call out gently and he turns his head towards you.

"Yeah?"

"What color are you feeling tonight?" You ask, referencing to what he told you on your dinner celebration. That felt like an eternity ago.

"Black." You stay silent and Minho fidgets with his hands before speaking once again. "I feel a lot at the same time, too much of every color. That's why- that's why I said black."

"How can I help you feel yellow?"

"You already do." His admission came softly and it made your breath hitch in your throat. You wanted to open your eyes and look at him, but you figured it will only make him close off even more.

“Okay. Will you stay for breakfast?”, you whisper. You were very sleepy, the soft chatter of the TV and your hushed conversation were like a lullaby to you. 

"You want me to?" he asks, and he sounds so vulnerable you can't find it in you to say anything but the truth.

"I do," you admit, and that's the last thing you remember before sleeping.

Your head falls near Minho’s lap on the couch, your hair tickling his exposed thigh. Minho shouldn’t feel this way, he thinks. He’s sitting on the leather couch and his feet are touching the cold floor and yet all he can feel is three strands of your hair tickling him.

He glances at you, at your now parted lips and your relaxed eyebrows. His hand hovers over your hair, but then he curls it into a tight fist. What is he doing? He thinks to himself as he drags an angry hand through his face. He sighs, before standing up and grabbing the blanket you had on the opposing chair. He gently lays it on your body before sitting next to you once again. 

You told him to stay for breakfast. He’ll stay.

✹✹✹

2 months later

"Yn!" Minho shouts in your ear as he plops down next to you. You startle, dropping the book you were reading. 

"I hate you," you grumble, picking up your book and he smiles cheekily at you, "No you don't."

You were laying on the grass of your campus garden, in between two classes, trying to kill the time. It was April so the weather was perfect for lying under the warm sunrays. You loved spring, it always held within it the promise of a better time. 

"What are you doing?"

"I was reading before you got here and started to annoy me." 

"Don't mind me. Do your thing." 

"And what are you doing?"

"Enjoying the sun."

"You couldn't find any other place to do so?"

"Nope."

"You're annoying" You try to sound mad but the smile on your face betrays you. You started looking forward to any moment Minho randomly shows up throughout your day. Sometimes it's late at night when he's suddenly craving sushi and he drags you with him because if he's not studying then you shouldn't be too. 

Sometimes it's during the day, when he takes you to a new garden where he found the quote "cutest cats in existence". Not as cute as his cats, of course. 

Sometimes it's late afternoon when he just knocks on your door, and he's there with Chan-his roommate who sometimes joins your study sessions- snacks in their hands. You've learned that what Minho doesn't say in words, he compensates by spending time with you. And you didn't tell him but waiting for these moments has been the joy of your life for the past few weeks.

It made you feel excited- like a child waiting up for Christmas morning to discover what gifts they are receiving. 

So, you resume reading, as Minho is lying next to you. You could smell his pinewood cologne and you wished you could pour his essence into a bottle and carry it with you everywhere. 

You notice how the sun is hitting Minho’s eyes directly, and how his eyebrows are scrunched up at the aggression. So, you grab your book with your left hand, and hover your right one over his eyes, shielding him from the sun. Minho's breath tickles your hand and you can feel goosebumps rising through your skin. 

It's as if every physical proximity with Minho made you feel hyperaware of every part of your body, and how he can lighten it with a simple breath from his part. It made you wonder what it would feel to have his hands on your skin.

As if Minho heard your thoughts, he gently wraps his thumb and index finger around your wrist, steadying your hand in place so it wouldn't strain your arm. You suddenly don't know what page you are in, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands on you. 

His touch is very featherlight and you are afraid to move, to break the bubble you are suddenly pulled into. 

"Read to me," he tells you and you gulp. You never understood why Minho enjoyed it when you read to him. 

"Like my voice that much?" you tease, in an attempt to hide how affected you are. You were so close to him; it would be easy to slide down and lay your head on his chest. You wondered how his heartbeat would sound. Was it steady, or racing just like your own? 

"Yeah, it's calming," he replies sincerely, catching you off guard. You didn't expect him to compliment you, and now you are racking your brain for a retort, anything to make you breathe again. 

"Growing soft on me Minho?" you say, the same question you asked on your first dinner out. The first time you truly saw him, the first time you felt as if you were two pieces of the same puzzle, just waiting for someone to connect the both of you. 

He doesn't reply. And you sit there, patiently waiting. His first answer came so easily, so naturally, because he was being sarcastic, "I’m basically in love with you", he told you back then. So why can't he say it again?

"Yes, I am." He finally replies and you feel your breath catch in your throat. You try to account it for your brain misguiding you. It wasn't Minho speaking, it was the rustling of the leaves and the singing of the birds that you just heard. But it was him, and now his eyes are open and he's looking at you. Your hand is still shielding his eyes and his fingers are still wrapped around your wrist. And you are suddenly feeling. You are feeling too much. You don't know what to do with those feelings cursing through your veins and you can't face them. Because they are scaring you.

"I'll just... Yeah, I’ll just read," you say quietly, too flustered by his intense gaze. You were already on the other side, you realize. His eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey. 

"Out loud," he says and you chuckle, "Fine, Min." The nickname slips out of your tongue naturally and you quickly snap your head towards Minho to see if he noticed. 

His eyes are closed, and there is a slight smile on his face, and you can swear that he just repeated the nickname to himself softly. 

✹✹✹

You've been so sick these past days, you barely managed to go to class. Your head throbbed with pain and your entire body felt as if someone thoroughly boxed it. 

You were grateful that Minho reeled down his teasing because you had no energy to retort back. He may have noticed how sick you felt and truthfully it would be hard not to. You stayed silent throughout the day, and you looked so pale, you avoided looking at the mirror altogether.

Though Minho didn't talk to you, he still silently placed water bottles and some of your favorite snacks on your desk. You'd down the water, grateful for the relief it brought your sore throat. And when you didn't touch the food, he'd immediately text you 'Eat up', followed by a simple 'Please'. Having someone else care for your well-being felt weird, but it warmed your heart beyond what words could describe. 

You only came today to pass your Criminal Law mid-term, but your head hurt so badly that you weren't even sure what you wrote on your paper. The words blurred in front of your eyes and you almost slept in the middle of your exam, exhaustion threatening to take over your body. 

You fucked up, badly. You haven't screwed up this much in years.

You thought that you were slowly getting better since Minho surpassing you no longer sparked an unworthy feeling within you. But apparently, you were wrong to believe so. Self-doubt crept up within you once again, and the ugly feelings it stirred slowly clawed at your throat, making it hard for you to breathe.

It was one test, and yet it reeled you back ages ago. 

Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes as you hurriedly walk out of your class. You make a beeline for the library, figuring that it will be mostly empty by now. 

You pull out a chair and sit on it, lowering your head down so no one will see you. Your tears are falling rapidly and you hit your thigh repeatedly.  You hated how weak you felt in that instant. 

"Yn?", someone calls out and you curse internally. You don't have to look up to see who it is, Minho's voice has become a part of you- you could easily recognize it between a thousand mingling sounds. 

You don't want him to see you, especially not like this, weak and vulnerable and on the verge of breaking down. So you quickly slip a pair of sunglasses on your eyes, before raising your head to look at him. "Hm?"

"Are you okay?" he asks, his tone so soft it makes you want to cry ten times fold. You hated it, hated how attentive he was to you. You didn't deserve it. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just here to pick a book," you lie, abruptly standing up and heading toward the rows behind you. You desperately needed to get away from him. 

You pause in front of a random shelf and then you feel Minho standing behind you. You grab a random book and he peeks above your shoulder to see it, "Economics? You hate this subject."

"Why are you following me?" you turn around attempting your best to sound mad. When in reality, your heart was brimming with hurt. You wished you could get away from your body and seep into someone's soul to feel what it's like to love yourself.

"You aren't okay," he asserts and you hate it. You hate that he sounds so sure of himself. Was it that noticeable? Were you not fooling anyone?

"I am," your voice is shaking but you are adamant about contradicting him. You couldn't let him see you. What if he runs?

"Then..." he steps forward and you take a step back until your back is against the shelf. His left arm cages your body, but his right one stays by his side. He is leaving you an opening, you realize, an outing in case you feel uncomfortable. Against all odds, you don't.

 "Why are you hiding from me?" he asks, gently taking your sunglasses off your face, and placing them on the top of your head.

You don't look up at him, and he hooks his finger underneath your chin, gently raising your head. When your tear-stained eyes meet his, he frowns deeply, "Why are you crying?"

"it's nothing."

"Yn..."

"I fucked up, okay?! That was the worst test I’ve ever given in years." The tears start to flow at your words and you wipe them away aggressively. You despised crying in front of people. 

Minho raises his hand to wipe the tears away for you but he quickly retracts it- you probably wouldn't want him to touch your face. It was enough that he had grabbed your wrist a couple of weeks before this. He quickly racks his brain for something to do, because the sight of your tears is making his heart ache in a way he hasn't felt before. It's as if he's feeling your emotions deep within him.

In desperation, Minho pinches your arm and you yelp, startled. "What was that for?" you whisper-shout and he raises his hands in defense, "I didn't know what else to do."

"So, you thought about pinching me?" you chuckle in bewilderment and he scratches the top of his hair sheepishly. 

"I mean, it worked. Look, you stopped crying," he points out raising his brows at you proudly and you shake your head at him.

"Remind me to never cry in front of you again." 

Minho grins at you before his face turns serious once again. "Look, you are the smartest person I know," he pauses, adding with a cheeky smirk, "After me of course." Which makes you giggle against your will. 

"Shut up", you lightly punch his chest and he smiles. "One test doesn't define you. You always work very hard. I wouldn't lie to you."

"Mm," you hum and he frowns at your lack of enthusiasm, but still, he doesn't comment. 

"No more crying," he wiggles his finger in front of your face and you roll your eyes, wiping the rest of your tears away. "Fine. Pretend as if this never happened."

"What are you talking about?" he asks as if confused, and you can't help the smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. It's as if Minho knows exactly what to say to cheer you up. 

"Come with me," he tells you, gently pulling you by the sleeve of your hoodie. 

"Where to?"

"I’m craving ice cream."

"And why do you need me?"

"You're craving ice cream too," he says in a matter-of-a-fact tone. 

"Only if you're paying," you add with a giggle and he whines loudly, "I feel so so used around you." 

True to his words, Minho takes you to the nearest ice cream parlor. It's a 20 minutes walk away and you are grateful for the distance because it helps you clear your head a bit.

Minho lets you pick whatever flavors you want, and when you hesitate between two of them, he tells the cashier to put them both into your cup. This is how you end up with a container of 5 scoops of ice cream. You insisted you'd share, and Minho begrudgingly agreed when you threatened to walk out and leave him.

You then walk to a deserted alley and sit on the sidewalk. You didn't want to be around people right now, and thankfully, Minho understood without you having to say a word.  

You munch silently on your ice cream and Minho does the same, the both of you lost in your thoughts. You naturally take turns holding the freezing container, so it wouldn't numb the fingers of one of you.

When you're done, Minho stands up to throw it away in a nearby trashcan before sitting back again next to you. 

Suddenly you feel him gently tapping your hand. You look down to find that you've curled your fingers into a tight fist, so much that there are crescent indents visible on your palm now. 

"Let's play thumb war," he tells you and you giggle at his words. You never knew what to expect from him. 

Still, as your fingers hold each other, and your thumb circles one another, you feel yourself calm down slightly. You play a couple of rounds, and you know he's going easy on you, allowing you to quickly trap his thumb down. 

No one has gone to such lengths to cheer you up, and you suddenly feel so grateful for Minho’s presence in your life. You didn't care in what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it. Which in turn makes you think how bad it'd hurt if he ever leaves. 

You don't want Minho to leave. You've gotten so attached to him that the thought of not talking to him again makes your heart race in panic. 

Minho notices the change in your expression, suddenly melancholic once again. Your hand has gone limp in his, the thumb war long forgotten by you. 

He curses under his breath, before looking at you. "If I dance for you, will you quit being so sad?"

"Dance for me?" you repeat incredulously and he nods, "Yes. I’ll show you an upcoming choreography just... Please smile?" 

"Okay," you giggle, plastering a wide grin on your face. 

"Not like that you look scary."

"Get to dancing!" you clap excitedly and he rolls his eyes, standing up and looking through his phone for a particular music. 

"Oh and no comment!" he looks pointedly at you, and you nod, pretending to zip your mouth and throwing away the key. 

'Finesse' by Bruno Mars starts playing and you are left mesmerized by the way Minho dances. It's short but it leaves you yearning to see more. His body moves smoothly, hitting each beat effortlessly. He made it look as if dancing was second nature to him, that it came as easily to him as breathing. 

You were speechless, rightfully so. You wished you could build a world where all Minho did was dance. 

"That was-" you start when he stops the music but he cuts you off instantly, "I said no comment."

"But--" Minho places his finger on your mouth to silence you, seemingly not thinking too much of it. But the feel of his finger on your lips makes you dizzy. Minho quickly takes off his hand, a blush evidently creeping up his neck. 

"Let's just go home," he sighs in defeat and you laugh despite the intense feelings cursing through you.

You don't know if you are imagining it but you swear that your pinkies brush against each other on your walk back. As if there was this magnetic force pulling them together. You wondered what would happen if you just linked your pinky with his. Would he grab you by the hand or will he let go of you entirely?

You were too much of a coward to find out. You were scared of messing up anything with him. So, you'd settle for this. Stolen glances and random outings. You just need him in your life. 

"Thank you for today," you tell Minho once you arrive and he shrugs, as what he did wasn't a big deal.

"No, I mean it. Thank you," you repeat, trying your best to convey how sincere you were being. You take in a deep breath, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it, for a fleeting second, before dropping it again. 

Minho is sure that your hand will now be imprinted into his, that the lines tracing over your palm will merge with his as one. Your touch was barely there but it had electrocuted him. He wondered to himself if his body would be able to handle more from you. But he'd gladly burn in your fires for the sake of holding you. And he'd wait, unwaveringly, as time stretches alongside the two of you. He'd wait as long as it takes for you. 

"Yn, I..." he stammers, taking a step closer to you. His scent engulfs you and you shamefully close your eyes, inhaling it. When you open them again, you find Minho glancing down at your lips. You gulp, dazzled by his proximity. 

"You have a mole on your nose," you suddenly speak up and his eyes snap back to yours, an adorable confusion drawn on his features. 

"I like that mole," you continue and you wish you could dig yourself a hole and bury yourself in it. 

"Thank you," he chuckles and you nod vigorously, "You're welcome." 

"Can I ask you something?" he says and your breath hitches in your throat. "Sure."

"You don't like it when people touch you, right?" 

"Yeah."

"Can I ask why?" 

You want to confide in him, to tell him that it’s because you long for it, you crave it so badly. That this need has woven itself into the very fabric of your being. An ache so raw that it scares you at times. You’ve never known what it feels like to be held- it was uncharted territory to you. 

"Isn't everyone scared of the unknown?" you settle on saying, and he nods in understanding. Of course, he understood. No one knows you as well as him. 

"It's okay. I just wanted to know if I ever overstepped my boundaries."

"You didn't," you reply instantly. 

"Good. You'll tell me if I ever do, right?"

"I will." 

"Okay." 

"Um. I'll get going," you point behind you and Minho smiles at you, waving you off.

You walk for a few steps before coming back again quickly. You then grab Minho’s hand, gently squeezing it like before, "You are an amazing dancer." 

And then you drop it, running back towards your apartment block without waiting for a reply. 

Minho stays frozen in his place. You think he's an amazing dancer. And you held his hand for five seconds. 

That's four seconds more than the first time. 

Progress.        

✹✹✹

You haven't gotten out of your house for the past three days. 

Everything crashed around you rapidly, it made you realize that the ground you once stood on was only an illusion, elusive and fleeting. 

You were doing well; you were getting better. But then Monday came and you went out for a walk in the park near you. As you sat there, you saw a little girl playing on the swings, delightful joy dancing across her features. But then she fell to the ground and you instinctively stood up to help her, only to notice her mother running to her. 

The world stilled around you as you clearly saw it- how the little girl clung to her mother's embrace, her embodiment of hope and love. You never had that. You don’t even know what perfume your mother used because she never allowed you to get that close to her. 

You stood up abruptly, quickly heading back to your apartment block. As you ran up the stairs, you ended up bumping into one of your neighbors. You were quick to apologize but they ignored you, and the feeling of being invisible came back to haunt you ten times fold. 

You knew you shouldn’t have done it, you knew you should have deleted your mother’s number when she sent you away to university without a backward glance, relieved at the thought of you getting a full-ride scholarship and not needing her anymore. But you didn’t, you kept her number in the hopes that she’d call. On your birthday, on holidays, on a random Thursday to tell you that she did remember who you are. 

With trembling hands, tears welling in your eyes, you dialed your mother’s number for the first time in a year. You didn’t know what you were expecting. Maybe she regrets it. Maybe she misses you. Maybe she didn’t find the courage to mend her wrongdoings and that's why she never called. 

"Hello?" her voice rang through your apartment. Goosebumps erupted on your arms and your hold on the phone tightened. Her voice took you back to memories you thought you had buried. How you spent countless nights yearning to hear the sound of her voice, how you regretted it once she spoke to attack you.

You hate her. You miss her. You want to hang up. You need to ask if she's doing okay. 

“Who is this?” Her voice was devoid of recognition, freezing you in your tracks. You felt as if a bucket of ice was thrown over your head, dousing the flame of hope that flickered in your heart. 

She deleted your number.

You quickly hung up, placing your phone down on the table. The tears refused to fall. It was as if your body had long anticipated this outcome, leaving only your wounded soul to bear the pain. 

Healing isn't linear, you've read about it in books and heard it in shows and movies. One step back doesn't mean that your entire progress is gone. You know this, you've memorized those sentences. So why do you not believe them? Why does it feel as if you can never be free from the past? Why does it feel as if you’ll always seek something out of her? 

Those questions roamed your mind for the past three days, making you too tired at the prospect of lifting your limbs, let alone leaving your apartment. You sent your two friends a text, telling them that you're sick so they wouldn't worry. Not that you believed they would. Nothing made sense to you anymore.

You laid on your bed in utter silence- a tense quiet that was disrupted on the third day by someone knocking on your door. You didn't know who was there; you just hoped that they'd leave you alone.

To your surprise, you open the door to find Minho, some notes in his right hand and a coffee in his left. He sends an easy smile your way. You don't smile back.

"What do you want?" your voice is cold, but Minho doesn't bristle. A cheeky smile settles on his lips as he leans on your doorway.

"You didn't come to class for the past three days, so I brought you the notes. So, you wouldn't think our competition is unfair."

"Competition," you chuckle coldly, heading inside your apartment, and he follows suit. You start to pace around furiously, and Minho looks at you worriedly. "Competition?" you repeat, the word dripping off your tongue like venom. You turn around, marching towards Minho and standing a few inches from him. "You know what? Fuck you and your competition!"

"Yn-"

"Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted a part in this competition? That all I wanted was to be left alone?" you say, growing louder as you jab your finger into his chest repeatedly. "I never wanted any of this! Do you understand? I never wanted to be this way," you shout angrily in his face.

The worried look in Minho’s eyes snaps you out of your haze. You realize that you are being utterly ridiculous lashing out at Minho, when the one person you are mad at is yourself. 

Your anger quickly deflates, leaving in its trail an agonizing sadness. It's so sudden that it knocks the breath out of you, and you clutch your chest as if it could soothe the burn in your heart. Suddenly you are twelve years old again, crying in your room because you feel like no one has ever loved you.

But this time you aren't alone. Minho is in front of you, and his eyebrows are so furrowed you want to lean forward to ease the tension between them. His eyebrows, you liked his eyebrows, they were arched, and they framed his eyes nicely, and his eyes are brown and so big, and they always look at you softly and why is it getting so hard to breathe-

"Did I do something to you? Whatever it is I’m sorry," Minho panics, cutting off your frantic train of thought. But now, the weight of guilt adds to your overwhelming emotions. You shouldn't have lashed out at him, he brought you coffee and you yelled at him. Maybe your mom was right after all.

You shake your head left and right furiously, your words coming out in hiccups. Since when did you start crying? "It isn't- it isn't you."

"Then let me help you-", he steps forward, hand outstretched, but you take three hurried steps back and wrap your hands around yourself protectively. "Don’t. Please, don't."

"Why are you pushing me away?" his tone isn't accusatory. You've learned time and time again that Minho wouldn't do anything that made you feel uncomfortable.

"You won't understand."

"Then make me."

"Because I’m afraid!" the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I’m afraid if you ever hug me, I wouldn't be able to go back to hugging myself. I'd need you and I can't afford to need someone else."

You regret the words as soon as they fleet away from your mouth. He would look at you differently, he would find you pathetic and then he’d leave. And you wanted him to leave. But you also wanted him to stay. It was all so confusing. 

You felt as if your being was torn between two great forces, each one of them trying to win the war raging inside you. You wished someone else would make the decisions in your place, for once.

Minho places the coffee and notes on the ground before approaching you, his palms facing up in a gesture of surrender. "I won't leave you," he says softly. "I’ll be by your side for as long as you'll have me."

"Minho..." your voice catches in your throat as you utter his name- like a broken prayer. He stands before you, his eyes shimmering like the reflection of a river on a sunny day.

"Please, let me make it better." 

You nod tentatively and Minho comes even closer to you. He was treating you like one would with a wounded animal, giving you a chance to ultimately back out. But for once, you listen to what your heart has been yearning for. Your bones are aching to be held, to feel the warmth of a body against your own, to feel safe and secure. 

Minho embraces you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and bringing you to him. You slowly bring your arms up and lace them around his waist. You are afraid, deathly afraid. His grip is loose, and you almost can't feel him around you, but when you lay your head on his chest, he tightens his hold on you and you instinctively let out a sob. 

He's hugging adult you, the woman whose heart was once again broken by her mom. But he's also hugging little you, the girl who was craving affection from everyone around her. In that instant, Minho is hugging every single version of you that ever needed a hug. 

You were right to be scared because you don't want to let go, you want to stay in his arms because they feel safe, like a shield protecting you. You can't go back to not hugging Minho. 

The sensation is overwhelming and your knees buckle underneath you. But instead of holding you up, Minho falls to the ground with you, as if you are two inseparable pieces of one puzzle. He isn’t here to fix you, he’s here to break down with you and help you pick up the scattered pieces.

You think back to that night in the park when Minho told you about Japanese vases. At this moment, it dawns on you that Minho has found a way to become a part of you. He was the molten gold binding your broken parts together. He was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together.

Who were you fooling? It was him; it was him all along. 

Minho rocks you gently as you cry and cry and cry. His hand finds your hair and he plays with it as you sob. He tells you you'll be okay, you'll feel better and you try to believe him, his words wrap around your bruises like a healing balm. 

"There, there, love. You are okay", he murmurs, tenderly patting your head. A fresh set of tears wells up in your eyes. Love.

"I’m sorry. I'm so sorry," you apologize as you pull away from his embrace. 

"Why are you apologizing? Is it because you wet my shirt? I don't mind," he reassures you with a smile and you shake your head. 

 "I was mean to you and you didn’t deserve it," you explain through hiccups.

"It's okay, you weren't mad at me, were you?" he asks, wiping your tears away so gently with his thumbs, careful not to irritate the sensitive skin.

"No. Still, it isn't okay and I’m sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Shh, don't apologize. It's okay." you look at him doubtfully and he rolls his eyes playfully, "Here I’ll even do your silly pinky promise, okay?" he laces his pinky with yours, but then he suddenly leans forward and places a chaste kiss on your thumb pad. "There, sealed forever."

You giggle faintly as a blush dusts your cheeks, "That's not how it works."

"I know."

Your giggle was far different from the ones Minho was accustomed to. It was small, and it didn't brighten up your face like usual. But he was grateful for it nonetheless. He realized how much he missed your laugh, and how all the other sounds in the world pale in comparison to it.

In that moment Minho thinks to himself that he'd do anything to make you smile again. He'd make a fool out of himself if it meant making you happy. He'd settle for a simple tug at the corners of your mouth, anything but the sadness that seemed etched in your face, as if it was blended into the colors that drew you.

You tentatively move around, before laying your head on his lap. Minho's hand instinctively finds your hair and he starts to gently play with it. It feels as if you've done this a million times before, when in fact it was the first. 

There was something wildly intimate about laying on the floor with the man who just comforted you. It made you want to spill all your secrets to him, one by one, and have him hug you through them.

"Did you mean it? When you said you'll stay?" you felt so vulnerable in his hold, as if he could twist you whoever he liked. But you trusted him. You trusted yourself with Minho.

"I did. Your walls are always up. It's hard to peek behind them. But I don't want to tear them down. I want you to slowly unbuild them. I want you to do it for yourself."

To do it for yourself, it's hard to even know who you are anymore. 

"I want to tell you."

"You don't need to."

"I know, but I want to."

"Okay. Take your time, kitten." he pats your head gently, and you try to sync your breathing to the rhythm of his touch. You were grateful that you were lying on his lap since you couldn't see his face. It made talking feel a little less daunting.

"On my 9th birthday... I was very excited. I'd been on my best behavior that month, trying to please my mom in the hope that, for once, we'd celebrate my birthday. Like a normal little family," you smile sadly, you were so hopeful back then.

"My birthday came, I woke up, excited. My mom was still asleep, nothing out of the ordinary. So, I made my breakfast and walked to my school. I wore my prettiest dress and put on pigtails with hair clips. It was my birthday after all," Minho smiles softly at your words, his hand now resting on your own.

"I got back home and waited for my mom to come back. She remembered my birthday, I thought. And then, she came but she didn't talk to me. So, I thought, oh a surprise party!" you chuckle, but this time the smile on Minho’s face is gone.

"It was then 11 pm, and the hope had slowly died in me. So, in my stupid innocent self, I went to my mom, and asked her "Did you forget my birthday?". And I remember... I remember the way she laughed. Cruelly. Like I had told her the funniest joke in the world. And then. Then she looked me dead in the eye and said 'I hate the fact that you are born. Why would I celebrate that?'"

Minho sucks in a deep breath at your words, and you exhale one right out. It felt comforting, to have someone else stomach the hurt for you. To take the weight off your shoulders, allowing you a few moments to breathe.

"I confronted her about it one day, but she said she doesn't remember saying that. It's funny how it was a random Thursday for her, but for me, it shaped my life." you smile bitterly, "I remember how jealous I was of the way the other kids talked about their mothers. They said the word so lightly. It must have reminded them of sunshine and ice cream and rainbows. But for me, it held an uncharacteristic heaviness to it. I grew to hate the word."

"I drove myself crazy, Min", you whisper and he brings you closer to his body, "was it me or was it her? When did it start? Was it because I was too loud as a child or maybe too quiet? Did I not cater to her fantasies of a kid? I wanted to remember every single thing that happened throughout my childhood, thread through every single memory. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment my mom stopped loving me."

Minho squeezes your hand tightly in his, and you feel as if he was pulling you away from the memory that had long trapped you. You were now watching it unfold from outside of the window, your hand in his, safe from the hurt it had inflicted on you.

"It's not you. It could never be you. Some people are simply not fit to be parents. It's never their kid's fault."

Minho tries his best to keep his touch soothing, to make his voice sound as soft as possible. But he was angry, he was so angry at the world for not taking care of you when you were younger. His heart broke, thinking of 9-year-old you being told such cruel words.

He wanted to turn back time and tell you that you were enough. He wanted to make the pain that seemed so anchored in you float back to the surface, and dissipate like sea foam meeting the shore.

But he couldn't do that. All he could do is comfort present you.

Minho gently pulls you up from his lap, making you sit upright. He crisscrosses his legs and you do the same. Your knees brush against each other and you feel a shiver run down your spine. You didn't know that even knees could emanate such warmth.

"Yn, look at me. The world wouldn't be the same without you in it," he cradles your face between his hands, "You hear me yn? I’m so thankful you exist."

His doe brown eyes are sincere, and it made you want to believe him badly. That's a good start, right?

"I’ll be back," he tells you, letting go of your face and standing up.

You hear Minho rummaging through the kitchen and you take the time to calm yourself down. Sharing those parts of you with Minho felt therapeutic. As if you were healing parts of your inner child. You have never talked about this with anyone before, maybe this is why it still hurt as badly.

Minho comes back five minutes later, his hands behind his back. You raise a brow at him inquisitively and he just smiles secretly at you. "Close your eyes," he tells you and you giggle, doing as he says. He crouches in front of you, and you hear him shuffle in his place for a bit.

Then, "Open your eyes yn," and you find him, in front of you, a cupcake you had stored in your fridge in his hands, and a makeshift candle lit up. "Happy 9th birthday, love. You did well."

You stare at him in utter bewilderment. You couldn't believe your eyes. How could this man be so thoughtful? He was wishing you a belated birthday, to compensate for the 9th birthday you didn't celebrate.

You panic, at the look in his eyes. You've never seen it, never dared to dream of it, of someone caring for you unconditionally. So, you try to scare him, to push him away. You didn't want him to regret knowing you.

"There are things I need you to know um", you chuckle nervously, "When I... When I throw up, I hold my hair, and when I’m sick I nurse myself back to health, and when I have a nightmare I- I hold my hand in the dark. It will be hard for me to hold yours instead."

"We'll start a finger at a time, yeah?"

"It will take time."

"I have time," he speaks easily, as if loving you was effortless and not a strenuous task. You couldn't fathom it.

"You are too busy-", he cuts you off instantly, "Not for you." 

"The world doesn't stop because we need it to." Your voice is quiet; this is your very last try. You are tired of fighting. You are putting down your armor and waving a white flag.

"We'll make it stop. Here, the two of us. On this floor. We'll take as long as we need to."

"I never deemed you as an optimist", you smile a little, a hint of teasing in your tone.

"I’m not," he pauses, gazing down at the cupcake between his hands and then at you. "But I feel that we deserve a bit of happiness together, don't we?"

"We do."

"Then make a wish."

You close your eyes for a few seconds, before blowing on the candle.

"What did you wish for?" he asks a fond smile on his face.

The answer came naturally to you, you didn't even need to think about it. "I wished for you."

Minho's lips come crashing down on yours, and you imagine that this is what it feels like to see colors for the first time. To discover a new world beyond the one you've always known.

The kiss isn't urgent nor feverish, it is one of comfort. Your lips spilling the words you have not yet said to each other. "I love you," he kisses you, "I love you too," you kiss him back. "I need you to stay," you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, "I’m never leaving you," he opens his mouth allowing you entrance.

As you kiss him, you remember a fact you once learned in high school. The human body possesses seven trillion nerves. And for the first time in your life, you feel as if each of these nerves is alive. You feel that even the smallest atom is electrocuted with Minho’s love and it’s all you know within you.  

You feel as if the pain, the hurt, and the ache you've been through are slowly unraveled, and in their place, a timid happiness is starting to bloom. You imagine that when Minho’s lips met your own, the seven trillion nerves inside you exhaled in relief 'We've made it', they said, 'we'll finally be okay.'

Epilogue

You've always thought that epilogues were useless. How can you resume the rest of your life in one sentence, boil down the rest of your existence in mere pages? Because life doesn't stop at the epilogue, and a new book can start once again, right where you left it off.  

But with Minho, you didn't mind an epilogue. On the contrary, you longed for a soft one. You wanted to rest on this last page, you wanted to lay your worries on the words and tuck them into the syllables. And you wanted to wake up anew.

And this wasn't the end of your story with Minho. A lot happened after it. But it didn't worry you, because epilogues are about the one thing that doesn't change throughout the long march of time. And luckily for you, that constant was Minho’s love for you. From that day he held you, he has never let go.

It took time, for his warmth to seep through your bones. It took time, for your heart to forget the cold. But you wanted to do it. With him. You wanted to love and be loved.

The sound of cats mewling fills your apartment, pudding can always be found in your fridge and you haven't felt invisible in years.

[bbqhooligan]

the more alone you get the lonelier you get huh

[gracieeegleegal]

Shinning Beauty - Charlie Bushnell

Pt. 2 for my ballerina

Pov - your a profesional ballet dancer and Charlie is your boyfriend

Pairing - Charlie Bushnell x fem!Oc ballet dancer

@yn.ln

Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, iamcharliebushnell, walker.scobell and 27,629 others

yn.ln - last of rehearsals before the show tmw night 🩰 Also HELLOOO? Episode 5 made me cry like a baby @percyjacksonseries

📸: @iamcharliebushnell

Comments

leahsavajeffries - so excited to see youuuu

↪️ yn.ln - even more excited to see you xxx

iamcharliebushnell - genuine question why do you always look so gorgeous 😍

↪️ yn.ln - stoooppp I love you so much 😭

dior.n.goodjohn - YOU BEAUTIFUL ANGELLLLL 😍

↪️ yn.ln - I LOVE YOU DIOR😘

walker.scobell - 🫅

↪️ yn.ln - don’t even I’m still sensitive

leenascobell - so excited to see my baby again it’s been too long

↪️ yn.ln - LEEEEENA MY LOVE

aryan.simhadri - how can you not cry while watching episode 5 is my question

↪️ yn.ln - RIGHTTTTTT my percabeth heart was SCREAMINGGG

↪️ iamcharliebushnell - I can confirm

@iamcharliebushnell

Liked by yn.ln, aryansimhadri, momonatamada and 876,193 others

Iamcharliebushnell - can confirm she actually did cry watching episode 5 and later had to go outside to reflect on it

Tagged yn.ln

Comments

walker.scobell - she’s so real for that

↪️ yn.ln - walker your acting killed me in this episode

dior.n.goodjohn - bet she looks pretty even when she’s crying

↪️ iamcharliebushnell- she looks pretty all the time

↪️yn.ln - mr bushnell u sure do know how to make a lady blush 🤭

↪️iamcharliebushnell - what can I say I try my best for my girl

↪️ walker.scobell - get a room

yn.ln - DONT MAKE FUN OF ME OKAY IM A SENTIMENTAL PERSON

↪️ yn.ln - AND A VERY BIG PERCABETH SHIPPER

↪️ iamcharliebushnell - I know sweetheart I know

aryansimhadri- those cookies look so good 👀

↪️ yn.ln - THANK YOUUU I tried my best

↪️ walker.scobell - omggg I want to try them

↪️ yn.ln - I’ll bring you some

↪️ iamcharliebushnell - walker stop trying to steal my girlfriend

↪️ walker.scobell - WHAT DID I DO? I only asked her for some cookies man :(

i.am.andrew.alvarez - she’s like me Fr

↪️ yn.ln - you get me drew

@yn.ln

Liked by iamcharliebushnell, walker.scobell, leahsavajeffries and 46,788 others

yn.ln - so incredibly thankful of everyone that came to see me tonight. Couldn’t have done it without the support of everyone. Special thanks to my man that no matter what is always there watching me across the room applauding me and supporting me as always. I love you Char 💕

Tagged iamcharliebushnell

Comments

dior.n.goodjohn - AHHHHH YOU WERE AMAZING 😍😍😍😍😍

↪️ yn.ln - stoppppp I love youuuuu

leahsavajeffries - you were for sure the best out there on stage

↪️ yn.ln - I love you leahhh 🫶🏻

iamcharliebushnell - I’ll always be there looking at you from the front row

↪️ yn.ln - and ill always be grateful of your presence 💕 I love you baby

leena.scobell - YOU WERE UNBELIEVABLE BEST BALLET SHOW IVE EBER SEEN

↪️ yn.ln - I love you leena 🫶🏻

user - I love the fact that Charlie always gives you flowers after a show

↪️ yn.ln - IKR! He’s all I’ve ever wanted best bf ever frr

walker.scobell - for someone who doesn’t watch this often I loved every second of it

↪️ yn.ln - awwwww I’m so happy you loved it 🫶🏻 thank you for coming tn

iamcharliebushnell - you were shining beauty tonight, how did I get so lucky?

↪️ yn.ln - ughhhh everyday you say something that makes me fall more in love with you 😍😭

yn.ln - BTW EVRYONE GO WATCH PERCY JACKSON SERIES SERIOUSLY ITS AMAZING 🤩

percyseries - looking like a real Aphrodite’s daughter

↪️ user - ?!?!???

↪️ user67 - WHAT DOES THSI MEAN

↪️ pjofan268 - HELLOOOO

↪️ yn.ln - 👀

@iamcharliebushnell

Liked by walker.scobell, leahsavajeffries, yn.ln and 1,663,394 others

iamcharliebushnell - celebrating this beauties amazing work

Tagged yn.ln

Comments

dior.n.goodjohn - she was Beyond amazing tn

↪️ momonatamada - 100% agree

leena.scobell - she’s so talented omg

↪️yn.ln - 🫶🏻🫶🏻

leahsavajeffries - she’s so ethereal my god

↪️ iamcharliebushnell- why’d you think I feel in love with her?

yn.ln - I love you 💕

↪️ iamcharliebushnell- I love you more 💕

walker.scobell - thank for the dinner man 🙏

↪️iamcharliebushnell- bet ur loving not having to pay for once

↪️ walker.scobell - I really am 😗

@yn.ln

Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, walker.scobell, iamcharliebushnell and 123,567 others

yn.ln - and that’s an end for the night 💋

Comments

walker.scobell - that scream you gave scared me the same if not more that diors did

↪️ yn.ln - LMAOOOOO 😭

dior.n.goodjohn - baeee ur acting skills are on point

↪️ yn.ln - 👀

↪️ percyseries - 👀

aryansimadri - slayed the house boots down Houston Im deceased 💅

↪️ yn.ln - 💀Aryan bby that’s enough tik tok for today

Iamcharliebushnell - 😍

↪️ walker.scobell- we get it now shut up

↪️ leahsavajeffries- walker let them be it’s not their fault ur single

↪️ walker.scobell - yk sometimes I hate u

↪️ leahsavajeffries- no u don’t

[penkura]

last forever [13/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed without realizing how happy you would both become and the family you would create together.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy and having a baby, that's all

Note: I didn't initially plan this. I was going to stop this fic at twelve chapters, but I felt like ch.12 was getting to be way too long so I broke it up and put the epilogue at the end of thsi one. Do not be surprised if I ever come back to this fanfic universe for one-shots or drabbles. This is shorter than I expected, but I'm happy with how it turned out, thanks for reading this fanfic, I hope you've all enjoyed it! :)

The latter bit is set ten years after chapter 12, Zoro is 31 and Reader is 30.

Taglist:

@misfits1a | @alucardsdaddyissues | @louweasleymalfoy | @fluffybunnyu | @yerrimm09 | @eyes-ofhell | @emmaiscool22 | @xenop0p | @hank88999

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5] ● [Ch. 6] ● [Ch. 7] ● [Ch. 8] ● [Ch. 9] ● [Ch. 10] ● [Ch. 11] ● [Ch. 12]

Your morning is quiet, despite Nami and Robin sharing knowing looks when you and Zoro entered the galley together for breakfast. Nami swears you're glowing and it grosses her out for a moment when she makes the suggestion to Robin who laughs, and says the three of you will need to have a girls night later to talk. No one asked where two had disappeared to the night before, it seemed like none of them had noticed, which you were grateful for. It kept you and Zoro from having to answer any awkward questions for the time being.

Zoro didn't notice or care, if someone had asked he would've told them, but still keep you from feeling embarrassed or anything, this is all still new to both of you of course. Breakfast goes by without anyone bringing anything up, even as Sanji gives you a smile that you return, discreetly showing him your ring and confirming that he was right, everything turned out okay so far.

Most of your day is spent doing the normal things you’ve always done, the Sunny is docked at an island for a restock, you choose to go into town with Robin and Jinbei, Zoro tried to go along but Nami pulls him back, telling you to go ahead while she takes your husband for help with other things. You don’t question it only because that’s completely normal, you don’t even question Robin in town when she tries to convince you to buy a pretty white dress you seem to be staring at. You try it on but don’t buy it, there’s no reason to.

“Are you sure, [Y/N]? It’d look lovely on you, I’m sure Zoro would think so too.”

“Nah, I don’t need it,” you laugh a bit as you go to look at something else that’s caught your eye, “Zoro doesn’t care what I wear anyway.”

“Mm…if you say so.”

You swear there’s something Robin isn’t telling you, even as you both try of different clothes and buy a few items, deciding you’ll bring Nami by later too, there’s plenty here she’ll like.

You do find it odd when Jinbei tries to get you to purchase a flower crown or a small bouquet of your favorite flowers for yourself, denying again that you really don’t need them. You’re not sure if you were imagining it or not, but you think the two share a knowing look with slight smiles as you head back to Sunny a while later.

When you make it back and see almost none of your crewmates around, you start to get suspicious something else is going on, especially seeing the way the ship deck is decorated to almost resemble a wedding, though with its own Straw Hat character, and Zoro waiting for you.

Face red, in a suit (that fits this time), and a bouquet of your favorite flower surrounded by daisies, heliotrope, and aster.

It dons on you immediately what Jinbei and Robin were doing, they were trying to get you ready for an impromptu marriage ceremony, but you didn’t catch on until now, you feel kind of stupid. Of course the white dress and small bouquet make sense now, even though Zoro hasn’t said anything. He doesn’t even notice you’re there at first, not until you say his name and he finally looks at you.

“Hey…you’re back.”

“What,” You’re trying hard not to cry but you can’t fight the smile that’s starting to creep onto your face as Zoro hands the flowers over to you, still nervous about this and maybe embarrassed over it, “What’s this about…?”

He’s quite for a moment, while you look over the flowers, a bright and happy look on your face. You know he’s had help with this, it’s what he and Nami were probably out buying while the others set things up.

“When we got married, legally, it wasn’t really a wedding,” scratching the back of his head, Zoro sighs just a bit before taking your hand and getting on one knee in front of you, returning the smile you’re giving him, “I know I was a stubborn ass about this for a long time, but you already know my thoughts on this, on us now…so I want to give you as real a wedding as I can. One you deserve.”

You have to stop yourself from laughing when it takes Zoro a minute to dig through the pockets he’s not used to find an engagement ring, one you don’t need but you figure Nami made him buy it just so you had one, even with your wedding band already on your hand.

“We’ve already got rings, and this time real witnesses,” you both can hear Luffy not so quietly asking Sanji for food before he's hushed and told to wait, everyone watching from the various places they’re hiding in, “Luffy’s ready to say whatever he needs to for us to be considered married on this crew, but I still have to ask you. So…will you marry me, for real this time, [Y/N]?”

“Of course, Zoro!” It’s not even something you can pretend to think about, not after everything you’ve gone through now. You throw your arms around him and Zoro hugs you close, there’s obvious relief like he was worried you’d changed your mind overnight while he tells you he loves you.

“Heyyy, can we do the ceremony now and eat?!”

“You idiot, she’s got to get dressed first!”

“Sanji made a great cake, it’s really sweet!”

“We were all glad when you went into town with Robin and Jinbei, we probably wouldn’t have gotten this all done if you hadn’t!”

“This is super great for both of you!”

“Yohohoho, I’ll get ready to play the wedding march then!”

“Mosshead, you better treat her right!”

“It’s wonderful to see you both happy now!”

“I may not have the full details of your circumstances, but congratulations to you both!”

You barely listen to your crewmates, your main focus being on Zoro and how this was pulled off so quickly, but you don’t bother to ask any questions, kissing your husband briefly.

“I suppose I should go get ready!”

“Yeah,” Zoro gives you a slight smirk before kissing your forehead, “I’ll be here, wife.”

Robin and Nami rush you off to your shared room to get you dressed, Robin having been sneaky and showing she’d purchased the dress she told you to buy, along with a small bouquet of flowers for you to carry. It’s nothing fancy, but that works perfectly with your relationship and how you’ve come together with Zoro.

Once they’ve got you ready the two go back to the deck to make sure everything and everyone is situated, sending Sanji after you a bit later, he’s agreed to be the one to give you away essentially, though you stop him just ad you’re about to head to the deck, he gives you a concerned look.

“Sanji, do you…do you think Zoro and I will last forever?”

Sanji takes a breath, before smiling and taking your hand as he lets it out.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a couple more destined to last than you two. Besides, I don’t think the mosshead is willing to wear a suit for just anybody.”

You laugh and agree, telling Sanji you’re ready before he leads you out to the deck.

It’s not a very long or formal ceremony, Luffy stumbles a few times trying to remember what he needs to say, he even gets choked up a few times when he thinks about how he’s seen you and Zoro go from a marriage born of convenience to now being in love and properly married. It almost gets to you as well, but you keep all your tears back, just a few slipping g out when Luffy tells Zoro to hurry up and kiss you which makes you laugh. You know Zoro hates public displays of affection, but he’s willing to look past it for you, only you he’d justify. After that Luffy shouts for the party to start, you and Zoro laughing together just a bit while he holds you close.

“Thanks for not giving up on me, wife.”

“Hmm, thanks for saving me, husband.”

Chopper is right, the cake Sanji made is sweet, you’re surprised Zoro even has some, that he mostly stays away from alcohol except when you bring him a drink later on. It prompts him to pull you to his lap, pressing a kiss to your cheek to make you giggle.

“What’s this for?”

“Nothing,” he sighs a bit, holding you closer and laying his forehead on your shoulder, “Just glad you’re my wife is all.”

“Forever, right?”

“Forever. No matter what happens.”

Nami and Sanji watch you two from the side, giving each other looks that tell more than anything they know you’ll make it. They’ve both watched you ever since they each joined, seen how Zoro treats you and how much you’ve come to love each other. Even when Luffy comes over and drags you away from your real, permanent husband to dance with your captain, the same look Sanji swore to you he’s always seen on Zoro’s face. Soft and loving, he just watches you while you and Luffy giggle together.

When everyone starts to settle down, you’re surprised by Chisa returning to you after being gone since you arrived in Wano. She stops in front of you with two letters, one you know is from Elias and the other from your parents, finally. You’re not sure what to think, even when Zoro wraps his arms around you and sets his chin on your shoulder.

“Well?”

Pursing your lips, you shrug, before tearing up the letter still in the envelope causing Zoro roll tighten his hold on you. For a minute you don’t say anything, before you sigh and lean back against him with a smile.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t want care about what they have to say…I only care about you.”

“Hmm,” Zoro kisses tour cheek which makes you giggle before you do the same to him, “That’s my wife, I’m proud of you.”

“Love you, Zoro.”

“Yeah…I love you too.”

You two are going to last forever.

+!+

~10 years later~

You have a newborn baby girl to care for now, literally minutes old as she lays next to you and cries, unhappy about her new surroundings. It’s the middle of winter and the only people you’re allowing around her at the moment are the midwives of Shimotsuki Village that had come to help you deliver your baby in the middle of the day. Every one of them praises you for doing so well, but all you care about is your daughter and Zoro getting to see her, to meet her face to face. He’d been more anxious about it as you got closer to your due date, neither of you knowing if you’d have a boy or girl until the moment you gave birth, and now you have her!

She’s perfectly chubby, her little hands trying to grasp at the air while she wails and kicks her feet at the same time, even as you take hold of one of her hands. You want to laugh seeing her hair is just a slightly darker shade of green than Zoro’s, but smile instead as you calm her down.

“Shh, shh, baby girl, everything’s okay. I’m here, sweetheart. Your daddy’s on his way.”

It’s not even five minutes later you hear Nami yelling outside your door about how someone could miss this, while Sanji starts to swoon at her for being so protective of you but asking her to calm down, stress isn’t good for her or their own baby either. You hear Luffy laugh a bit himself, saying something you can’t understand before Usopp and Robin suggest they all leave you alone, as the door to your room opens and you’re so glad to see who’s finally there.

“Zoro~”

“I’m sorry I missed it, I was asking master something,” Zoro takes your hand you reached for him with, kissing your forehead before he sits beside you, looking at your baby with nothing but pride and love on his face, “We…we have a baby…”

“We have a daughter, Zoro.”

“She’s perfect. Just like her mama.”

Rolling your eyes, you just watch for a few minutes while Zoro takes in the fact you have a daughter to raise now. Honestly, you had been expecting to have a boy, and Zoro never told you what he thought you might have, he said it didn’t matter because it was your child, you made this baby together, he’d love them no matter what. But seeing him gently stroke her hair and let her hold onto his finger, you swear you’re falling in love with him all over again.

“Did you ask your master what we talked about?”

Zoro doesn’t hear you at first, he’s too focused on your daughter and watching her settle down, starting to sleep, before he realizes you spoke to him and asks you to repeat your question. When you do so, he nods, looking back to your daughter.

“Well?”

“He said nothing would make him happier…”

Nodding, you sigh in content when Zoro kisses your forehead again, before doing the same to your daughter.

“Welcome to the world, Kuina.”

You plan to give your daughter everything you never had and more, all the love in the world and no expectations to marry rich unless she decides to. Watching Zoro with her the rest of the day makes you realize this was all you ever wanted.

To love someone and be loved the same, and give that love to your own child forever.

[sanscat0414]

Misunderstanding?!

Hawks x reader:

Synopsis: Hawks gets suspicious of you because you have been coming home later and your spend less time with him. He begins to suspect you of cheating but little did he know it was…

————————————————————————

Hawks have been noticing that you came from work later for the past month. Usually he tried to aim to get home by 10:30 or before midnight. Whenever he was home earlier he noticed you were not home which is strange as you always came home before 10 even in days you work overtime. You were almost always on your phone typing away texting someone. You would even laugh a couple of times when texted this mysterious person. What’s even more suspicious is when he asked you about it you just brush it off.

“Hm? Oh it’s nothing. It’s just some family stuff.”

Or

“Huh? It’s 11? I didn’t realize I was out so late. Why? Mmm? Just lost track.”

Or

“What do you mean? I’m just texted a friend.”

Now he trusted you so he let it be. He believed you but still he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. You weren’t spending as much time as you used to with him. You spend majority of your precious time you had with him on checking on the phone when your not you seem distant. Like you were thinking of something else.

Last week, was even more weird to Hawks. He was lucky to have gotten out of work early that day and wanted to pick you up. Only to find you hanging out with another man. Sure he saw you from a far but you were laughing with the man. He just left thinking it was your friend or something but you never mentioned him before. All this combined the extra time gone, the texts, the times you were distant hawks started thinking you were cheating on him. Hawks gave the benefit of the doubt but his trust in you was waning.

The final straw was today. It was a long a waited day off for him. He wanted to spend it with you but when he asked if you wanted to spend time with him you said

“I’m sorry Keigo I can’t. I know it’s your day off and we haven’t spend much time together. I just have something to do.”

That “something” was hanging with that same man. He wanted to get some KFC for the both of you and by coincidence spotted you. Naturally he was furious and sad that you had chosen another man over him. He decided to wait for you to come home before confronting you.

When you finally got home, you could tell something was wrong. The atmosphere was as thick as butter and an Erie silence cause by the lack of “Baby bird your home!”

“Keigo? I’m home.” You said.

“I’m in the living room.” He said almost coldly.

“Baby?” You said as you walked in to the Living room only to see Hawks sitting there in a serious manner.

There was no funny business and hawks had a no emotion in his face. He just sat there watching you like a predator watching its prey. It unsettled you.

“ Sit, we need to talk,_____.” He said as he gestured to the other couch infront of him.

Now you know it’s serious. He never uses your name unless it’s serious, like taking about your safety or something.

“Is something wrong?” You asked confuse and nervous as you sat down.

“Be honest with me. Are you cheating on me?”

“What? Why would you think that?” You said with genuine confusion shown on your face.

“I mean you spend extra time away from home after work, those texts that you laugh at, and that man that you were hangout with. I saw you today! With him. You rather choose to be with him than me! If so just say so.”

You stared at him at disbelief, now to be fair when he laird it all out like that it make sence but you could help but think thsi situation was a bit ridiculous. After a few seconds you laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s not what- you know what that’s to cliche. Let me try agian.” You said as you tried to stop laughing.

“Kei, first of all of course I’m not cheating on you. I love you with everything I have. I’m sorry I haven’t been spending as much time with you or paying attention to you. It’s just this month has been a bit hectic.” You said and you moved next to him.

You gave him a small kiss on the forehead and show him a picture. “Is this the man you saw?”

He nodded and you explained “that’s my sister’s boyfriend. He’s been asking me alll about what my sister likes. And what do for a proposal to her. I was helping him do a little shopping for the proposal plan. If I had known earlier that you had a day off today I wouldn’t have planed our outing today. He’s been planing it for months and kept changing the day he pop the question. I kept pushing him.”

Hawks looked at you dumb founded “Why didn’t you tell me.”

“It’s a secret that I have been helping him. Plus he wanted to forge his own ring for her, and I had a friend who does metal smithing. I been going to that. friend with him.”

“Why would you need to?”

You got up to go get something form your room. You came back with a small box and you handed it him. He open it and saw a beautiful metal feather with a gem on the stem of the feather. The feather was a little wanky but it was cute. It was attached to a leather string necklace.

“I took the opportunity to try to make something for you too. It was supposed to be a surprise for our anniversary but I wasn’t able to get it just right on time. I guess better late than never right.”

Hawks started it for a good 5 minutes in silence. It was beautiful and you made this by yourself (with help but still.) once he was finally done admiring it he hugged you. He warped his wings around you tight and nuzzled into your neck.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions …. I love it thank you.”

“No no I should have said something sooner. I should have payed more attention I’m sorry too. I should have been more clear.”

That nught you guys cuddled for a bit. When your sister boyfriend called Hawks answered. He mildly scolded him for “stealing” his girlfriend and gave him some advice on being confidenace. Needless to say your sister said yes and you and hawks was invited to see them.

Hawks met your sister’s now husband on their wedding day. He apologized to Hawks after learning of what happened. Natural your just glad everything went well, and you where grateful that you and hawks were always upfront when it come to communication. Occasionally there will me moments when you suck at communicating but it all works out.

[quodekash]

FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????

hes so grumpy already I love this so much

the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant

pls this is so funny

theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them

BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders

its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀

THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭

JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU

theyre lost in their own little world 🥺

kiIIIIIS

this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨

im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised

LOOK AT THEM, DUDE

THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER

I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH

half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it

PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE

I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME

if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want

I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull

it just seems perfect, idk why

GB4JHERGB

THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME

genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show

im fucking CRYING

my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it

why does it suit him so well tho

they should kiss again I think

I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level

THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE

NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED

look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him

like q is having a complete shit time

poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭

and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭

fuckin FINALLY

LMAO WHAT

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT

THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID

I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious

im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses

SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT

a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke

but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME

also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious

also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet

ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)

PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW

hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet

I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'

I love tan so much, the little wave

what the FUCK

what the FUCK FUCK???

THE SOUNDWIN LINE????

HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS

HE SAID IT

HE FUCKIN SAID IT

[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]

holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit

my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this

FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE

im gonna be here all day

I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now

I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth

dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED

WHAT THE FUCK

omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream

the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day

how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job

he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while

tbh same

look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory

thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK

welp on that note I think im done for now

I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep

[icypenguin]

★~ Pirate!kaeya headcanons

HEY EVERYONEE i know i haven’t post much huehue but ihope you’ll like this one! i’ve decided to make other character since i realised the characters i’ve made fanfics for are the same T-T but anyway i hope you like the idea of thsi one so please enjoyyyy!

notes! the reader’s and kaeya relationship here will be seen as romantic and reader is supposedly female.

- we all know he’s a flirty type, he won’t be that strict nor relaxed. like if he gets a mission then it becomes his priority but it’s not like he’s desperate to get whatever reward he will get. besides, isn’t his top priority you?

- i can sense that he looooves treasures, to be specific.. moras. He will buy his darling anything they want. literally spoiling them with gold, diamonds, whatever you want!

- i feel like he would atleast have 3 piercings… im thinking on ears, eyebrows, and tongue. what do we think about lips though hmmmuehehehehe

- no cuz you guys be holding hands anytime anywhere. PDA are no problem for him like you could possibly makeout with him in the center of the ship and noone will mind???

- okay but when i said he likes treasures- his favourite and most cherished is you. he will be super protective of you when there’s enemies around. it’s not like he doesn’t trust your fighting skills- he just doesn’t want his treasure to be dirty by a fool’s hand.

- he’s so often seen with you on the helm, helping you learn how to steer the wheel. he’s got his hand on your waist and the other guiding your hand to spin the wheel.

- pet names: treasure, darling, love, birdie, doll, pretty, gorgeous.

~small drabble~

the sea was filled with soft waves, the sky was in a yellow hue, the sun was setting down, and the wind was flowing through your hair. your beloved boyfriend was steering the wheel, making sure the path was right and there were no rocks ahead. “love..” you walked to him, admiring his focus gaze upon the ocean. “well, well, well, if it isn’t my darling who’s here for her boyfriend…”. kaeya turned around to look at you with a smirk on his face. his hand soon forgotten the wheel as it finds it way to your waist, pulling you closer to him till no space was in between. you chuckled when he kissed your cheek so lovingly. “need anything?” he asked “no.. just missing you” “can’t stand being without me for just an hour? my, my what a greedy woman..” his tone was playful and teasing. your cheeks gone to a pink shade, knowing that you really can’t stand being without him… “are you opposite on the idea?” you teased back. “oh no, ofcourse not…” he raised his other hand from the wheel to your hair and tuck it at the back of your ear.

“how’s it looking? good?” “well.. we’re supposed to be challenged by a stormy night.. but fortunately there won’t be any rocks or anything blocking our way” “ah that’s nice to hear.. i guess tight cuddles tonight?” getting a chuckle for response, your cheeks gone red at the music-like voice. “i suppose so…” he shifts for a bit, taking off his pirate hat and bringing it to your head. “care to help?” you smiled at the offer and put your hands on the steering wheel “aye aye captain!”. you span the wheel to the left, following the way on the map. soon, you had to turn right but you span it too much, leaving the ship to do a harsh turn. “whoa, easy there..” kaeya guided your hand by spinning the wheel to where it should be. “no need to rush, sweet thing. got the night for us.” he smirked while looking at you. “s-sorry.. might gone too nervous..” “oh hoho, are you nervous ‘cause i’m here?”. you blushed in embarrassment while nodding your head. “no need to be, gorgeous. it’s not like i’m challenging you” he smirked once again as your cheeks gone redder and redder. a puff was heard from you before he speaks again, “wel let’s enjoy the night, shall we?” he took your hand lead you to the bow, where you laid your head on his shoulder and watched as the dolphins went by and the stars shine.

TYSM FOR READINGGG! reblogs, likes, and follows are appreciated! advices are accepted as well! once again, thankyou and have a good dayyy!

[fordtramarina]

hi ! alpha mabel talking about how much she loves (dragging the vowels out for emphasis) omegas because she thinks they are cute and. ford giggles because he forgot he hasn’t told anyone he is secretly. an omega ! and asks if mabel thinks he is cute and mabel is super smart so she is like. oh my gosh grunkle ford are you — are you an omega !?! and ford is like. um. perchance. and she begins to worry because ford hasn’t had a proper heat cycle since he disappeared into the portal 30 yrs ago. ford brushes her off because he doesn’t want his niece to worry. but as time goes on his body relaxes because it’s not constantly in a state of paranoia. and mabel can begin to smell ford going into heat and of course she’s going to borrow all of grunkle stan’s dirty laundry for his nest, whats the worse that can happen?

YJEEESSSSSS YOU GET IT SO BADLY ???? thsi is so cute actually I love this ? Because Mabel so would? Ivemade something like this before where Ford never told anyone he's an omega so they all just thought he was an alpha like Stan but ofc. Stan knows he's not he's probably seen him in heat so many times when they were maturing. And he's just so ????? 🤨 When he can't smell anything off ford .

Soooooo glad that you understand the vision . I like to think that there's probably a sense of shame in the fact he's an omega for ford. I've been joking with my friends like . He draws himself so tough and shit and does all those stupid poses because he wants people to think he's an alpha , he's probably on or used to be on supressants to add to that? I could literally go on forever about this I love omegaverse

I lovelovelove the idea of mabel taking care of ford though that's so cute ? 😭😭😭 Like ofc she's not going to do anything to harm him and he's probably freaked the fuck OUT because he doesn't really recall how to handle being in heat after 30 years . And Stan isn't going to help because if anything happened he was notttt explaining an ounce of it LOLLLL . But yeah I think Mabel would absolutely use things that smell of Stan for Fords nest , he can protest all he wants but she knows it'll help him . Just need her being rlly sweet to him to make sure he's ok honestly

Icould literally go on forever and ever I have so many visions

[inkybloom-luv]

hi hi inky!! i hope youre doing well!!! i thought about my request and i decided to do something basic ^^ i hope asking for headcanons is okay? i didnt see any hc specific rules so UH IF!! YOU DONT WANT TO WRITE HCS DRABBLES ARE FINE!! WHICHEVER IS EASIER FO RYOU IM NOT PICKY!!!

im sure a lot of people can relate to this so yk,,, may i request azul (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and trey with a significant other thats very reserved around new people (like clings to them during social events and group projects but is still capable of working on their own if that makes sense?) just overall someone who feels really safe with them!! and theyre super bubbly and teasing when theyre around but with everyone else theyre :I

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE?!?!? AND IF YOU DECIDE TO WRITE THSI REQUEST I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN!!! SUPER EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU WHIP UP EHEHEHEH and make sure youre drinking water and resting when you need to ^^ i will stop mothering you now just know that jamil loves u <3

Shy? Not quite

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

Heyyyy I'm genuinely ashamed at how long this took me but ig I just needed better music?? Literally the second I put on the song I'm listening to rn it just came out like organized word vomit- anyway!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT

Characters; Trey Clover and Azul Ashengrotto

Content; Trey and Azul hc's with a S/O who is reserved around most others, especially in a social setting but bubbly and teasing around them

Gender neutral pronouns used!

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

Trey Clover

• I feel like Trey knows how to deal with a S/O that behaves in such a way

• He has siblings and in a way that’s how they act. That means he, in a way, knows how to handle the situation, but that doesn’t mean he’s not surprised when they act like that the first time.

• He remembers that clearly, they were teasing, joking and laughing on their way to an event but how much they quieted down once there almost shocked him.

• Almost because his sibling mode kicked in. He didn’t even realise until he’d taken most of the attention off them actually

• He didn’t ask what exactly happened with them at the event but when they left and were sitting back at home he did.

• He felt happy when they were back to their usual self although the teasing did make him grin sheepishly.

• He felt even happier when he learned the true nature of that shift; the fact they felt so safe with him that they could be themselves. The teasing sure did always catch him slightly off guard though

• Expect your favourite treat the next day with a sweet note and perhaps a few extra bits of affect here and there throughout the day

Azul Ashengrotto

• On the outside you wouldn’t think Azul was all that affected by his S/O’s behaviour

• Oh how wrong you’d be because he was very much affected!!

• Not that he chose to show it mind you, but their behaviour sure threw his poor heart through a predator-filled tsunami

• Regardless of that his acting barely faltered at the event itself though he did shoot them quite a few more glances than usual, as he was actually worried they were not feeling well.

• He actually asked about half an hour to an hour into the event if they were alright due to their suddenly much cooler nature.

• They were handling tasks with others rather well but still he was worried, so it put them at ease when they said everything was alright.

• He told them to speak up should they be uncomfortable or not feeling well regardless though.

• Like Trey he also only asked once having left the event and in the privacy of his office.

• To say his heard sputtered and his cheeks grew red for long enough to be caught like that would be divulging secrets, but here we are anyway.

• He did catch himself but he now knew they felt safe with him, safe by his side.. and perhaps he’d recognise soon he feels the same way about you.

[urfavfakeblonde]

ⱼₑₐₗₒᵤₛ

hey guys <3 this is actually based on a true story that happended yesterday night :( The names are not the same as the real people, and some of it is twisted to make since, but yeah I felt like writing thsi would help me cope.

Rafe Cameron (not specified tho) x fem!reader

warnings: underage drinking (highschool party), heartbreak

Walking into the party, it was exactly as I expected. Loud, music blaring, drink cans all over the grass backyard, Halloween decorations along the fence, and lots of already drunk teenagers. I held onto my friend's belt as we moved between dancing pirates and angels, prisoners and fairies. I held onto my can of Dr. Pepper, eyes searching for him. As we come to a stop in the middle of the backyard where it isn't overly crowded, I spot my friend Stas and give her a hug. "I love your costume!" I say with a smile on my face, although I'm not entirely sure what she actually is. "Thanks queen, I love you," she slurs, holding my arm. "I am an album cover for Nirvana," she says bringing her drink to her lips. "Thats so creative," I comment, giving her another hug before she turns away to go see her other friends. I bring my attention back to my friend Kayla, watching as she has a conversation with someone dressed up as Salt burn. When I look to the left, I spot him. He's wearing a orange convict costume, matching with one of his friends.

But then I see her.

Shes gorgeous, clinging onto his arm, wearing a swat costume that seems to make her even more pretty. I swallow hard, watching as his hand moves lower to rest just above her ass. Fuck. I think, biting my lip to ignore the jealousy and sadness. I shouldn't even feel this way, because we've never even dated. We have technically grown up together, being in the same class since second grade, but why do I care? Maybe every time it felt like he was flirting with me, he wasn't, and he acts that way with everyone. Maybe I was just delusional because everyone knows the kook prince can't date police chief's daughter. "You okay?" Kayla asks, interrupting my thoughts. I glance at her and fake a smile. "Yeah." She gives me a look like she doesn't believe me. "Alright well, I'm gonna go get a drink, you want one?" I shake my head no, taking a sip of my soda. When I look back at him, we make eye contact for just a moment before he brings his attention back to her. I sigh and start to walk around to find some of my friends. I feel a tap on my shoulder, and I turn around to see Lexi with a drunk grin on her face. "Hey girl!" She giggles excitedly, dancing to the music.

After I talked with her for a while, and some random drunk people came up to talk to us, the vibe quieted down a little. I stand with my friend Bella, talking to one of the boys in our grade. He's incredibly high, but it's nice to talk to someone who used to be my friend. I look around as the conversation starts to bore me, him begging for us to drive him home after the party. When I look over my shoulder, I think my heart quite literally stopped. It was like the music was off and everyone stopped moving and it was just them. Their sitting on the steps, her hand is on his thigh and he's kissing her.

Her.

My mouth fell open as my eyes filled with tears. I turned back around, staring at the ground. I should have fucking known it was never going to happen for me. So why did I excite myself? Why did I spend so much time getting ready just for him to look at my for all of 5 seconds? I've never been so jealous and hurt, I guess he was just toying with me, making me believe it would happen for me. And I fell into his trap.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Reunited

Part 20

Illumi x Reader x ??????

part 19

part 21

taglist: @tsukilover11 @mercyboluthecrazychicken @sxyriii @merinfawleygoestohogwarts

if you wanna be added to the taglist, make sure your account can be mentioned and comment a red heart❤️

warnings: Kurapika is kinda falling in love with reader? may do an short ending with him after York New? This chapter is very main 4 focused. Also illumi is toxic AGAIN!! BOO

The morning sun was just starting to peak over the clouds, illuminating the path before (Name)

The girl had packed her three friends treats into a basket and was on her way to the servants quarters to deliver them.

The three had informed her they’d most likely be coming to the manor the 14th to rescue Killua, which she was excited for.

The entire time she’d been there, (Name) hadn’t been able to sneak away to meet with him. Every time she was caught by either Kikyo or a butler. Kikyo would innocently inform her that Killua was being punished, and to run along before (Name) had to join him.

(Name) knocked on the door, Zebro opening it shortly after.

“Miss (Name) I wasn’t expecting to see you here today! What is it you need?”

The old man kindly held the heavy door open for her as she walked in. Her friends were sat at the table, eating breakfast when they spotted her.

Gon shot out of his seat, jumping up to hug her. “(Name)!”

The girl laughed, patting his back as he sniffed the air. Kurapika stood as well, setting his fork down and prying the boy off of her.

“(Name), what brings you here?” He asked, his eyes on her large basket. Leorio approached as well, Gon watching with hungry eyes.

“Oh, if you didn’t know, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! I came here…”

She shoved her hand into the basket, the sound of crinkling plastic being heard.

She pulled her hand out, in it a small bear. “To give you this.” She handed the bear to Kurapika, grabbing a bag of homemade chocolates and cookies for him as well.

“Happy(early) Valentine’s Day!”

The man looked at the gift, his face turning tomato red. He looked between the gift and (Name), his heart thumping against his chest. “For… for me?”

“Yes!” She smiled, the sight causing Kurapika to shrink into himself, holding the bear to his chest.

“Thank you (Name), I-“

“Oh, here’s yours too, Gon and Leorio!”

She handed their gifts out, each receiving a bear and two bags of treats. Gon hurriedly opened the bag, stuffing several cookies into his mouth before he could be stopped by Leorio.

“Oi, don’t eat too much, we have training today!”

Kurapika watched the scene with a sigh, looking down at the bear. His was a light shade of red, with a blue heart. It was soft, looking up at him with cute button eyes.

A part of him felt… sad that he wasn’t the only one receiving her affections, but he pushed those feelings away. He didn’t have time to think about what his heart wanted, besides revenge.

“Did you hand make these, (Name)?” Leorio asked, staring down at his orange bear with a green heart. She nodded, slightly nervous.

“Yes! The hearts are scented!”

The three boys sniffed the hearts, each giving her a surprised look.

“(Name), thsi may be the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received.” Kurapika said softly, looking at the bear lovingly. Leorio held it up, tears flowing from his eyes.

“A GIRL GAVE ME A VALENTINES DAY GIFT!! FUCK YEAH!”

“Language!”

“Oops, sorry (Name)!”

The four chatted, (Name) eating breakfast with them. Her training was called off until either Kalluto or Illumi returned, so she decided to work with them for the next day.

“I’m gonna be staying here tonight. Is that alright, Zebro?”

The old man nodded, pointing up the stairs. “I’ll have a butler prepare a room for you upstairs. Take it easy, Canary told me you received an injury yesterday.”

The three’s eyes were immediately on her, watching her tug her sleeve further down her arm. Kurapika frowned, grabbing her arm and pulling up her sleeve.

There was a deep purple bruise in the shape of a hand on her skin, with what looked like the imprints of long fingers on the edges.

Behind his contacts, Kurapika’s eyes turned a deep scarlet, the man barely able to control his breathing.

“Who did this to you?”

(Name) flinched at his voice, shrinking back into her seat. “It’s not like that. I was sparring with someone.” She replied.

That wasn’t the full truth, Illumi had angrily squeezed her arm, exasperating the bruise, but she didn’t want to give her friends anymore reason to dislike him. They didn’t understand him!

“… I see. They should be more careful with you.” He let her go, still internally seething. He knew she wasn’t telling the entire truth, but wouldn’t call her out on it now. Kurapika cared for her feelings, and knew pushing her would only make her clam up.

“Well, (Name) wants to train, she can’t progress without a few bumps and scratches.” Gon said, crossing his arms. “I don’t like her getting hurt either, but if they treat her too gently she won’t get any better.”

(Name) beamed at the boy. Finally, someone who understood and didn’t treat her like a child! “Gon’s right. (Name) is a hunter now, she needs to be strong. Although I myself could never harm a lady!”

(Name) giggled at Leorio’s words. Kurapika leaned against his chair and sighed. He knew they were right, but for some reason he couldn’t stand to see her in pain. The way she flinched at his touch worried him greatly.

“Alright boys, let’s finish up breakfast and get to work!”

—————

(Name) looked at the testing gate, groaning. “Yikes, I forgot how big this thing was.”

The group were standing in front of the testing gate, Leorio, Kurapika, and (Name) stretching to ready themselves. Gon’s arm was still injured from his fight with Hanzo, so he stood near them, obviously jealous that they got to try and he didn’t.

“Should I put on the vest too?” (Name) asked, pointing to the black vest they all wore.

“Maybe not, it’s-“

Kurapika was quickly interrupted by Zebro. “I think that’s a good idea!”

Zebro handed (Name) the vest, which caused her to instantly topple over.

“(Name)!”

Kurapika and Leorio rushed over, the girl grunting as she struggled to hold the vest up. “Its- it’s so heavy! How the hell are you all wearing this thing?”

“It might be hard for you to hold, but it should be easier to wear. Here, I’ll help you put it on.”

Leorio gestured for her to lift up her arms, the man slipping it over her head, sliding it down past her shoulders. He stopped right before her chest, staring.

“I think I’ll take over here.”

Kurapika smacked Leorio’s hands away and pulled the vest over her chest. Ever the gentleman, he had her spin to make sure the nothing was bunched up.

“Oh wow, this sucks, but I’m here for the long haul.”

She waddled around, trying to get used to the added weight. Kurapika and Leorio had to stifle their chuckling at her antics.

The three continued their work, now carrying around heavy plates of disks and doing push-ups. (Name) had gotten used to doing push-ups, but not with the extra weight. Even so, she did better than Kurapika and Leorio, able to do 30 at once before collapsing.

“Wow (Name), where did all that strength come from?” Leorio asked, watching the girl do her 30th push-up.

“Let’s just say my trainer in the Zoldyck mansion thinks running a few miles and doing a hundred pushups is LIGHT exercise.”

“Yikes.”

——————

The sun began to set, the three exhausted. As they walked back to their shared home for the night, they caught Gon training. He was scolded by Leorio and Kurapika, who had to remind him he was supposed to be resting.

“Ahh I’m beat!”

(Name) sat down on the couch, her vest folded up in the closet. Zebro had taken it once they walked inside, stating she needed to sleep without it to not exacerbate her injury.

“So, who’s taking a shower first? I know I’m not sleeping with a bunch of sweaty boys in the house.”

Kurapika had sat down next to her, raising an eyebrow. “Of course you can shower first. It’s only fair.”

“Fair? Why don’t we make it even more fair by playing rock paper scissors?” (Name) asked, grinning.

“That’s really isn’t necessary-“

“Deal!” Gon leaped from his seat, using his good hand to make a fist, indicating he wanted to play.

“Okay, we’ll do me versus Gon, then the winner will go up against Kurapika. Then the next winner will go up against Leorio! That’s how we’ll decide who goes first. Then the rest of the losers can play again to decide who goes second!”

(Name) smiled, the others agreeing to her rules. Gon sat in front of (Name) holding out his hand.

“Rock!”

“Paper!”

“Scissors!”

“Shoot!”

——————

(Name) sat with her knees pulled to her chest, an obvious pout on her face. The two other boys poked her legs, laughing softly.

“How did I lose to every single person?” (Name) whined, kicking at Leorio as he poked her.

“I’m not sure, you must have awful luck!” Gon said with a laugh, leaning his head against her shoulder.

“I didn’t know Kurapika was so good at Rock Paper Scissors! He had no mercy!” Leorio cried.

The order of who got to take a shower was as follows: Kurapika, Gon, Leorio, then (Name). She had lost every single round, the hope leaving her eyes after each defeat.

“If you hadn’t been stubborn, you could have had your shower first.”

Kurapika leaned against the doorway to the bathroom, his wet hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks. Gon leaped from his chair, passing Kurapika and slamming the door. They could hear him singing some song as he readied his shower, causing the three to laugh.

“Hey, Kurapika, you really should dry your hair. You might catch a cold.”

He pushed back a strand of wet hair, sighing softly. “It takes too much time, and my arms are tired.”

“Oh, then let me do it!”

Kurapika didn’t have time to process her question, as (Name) was already standing up and grabbing a towel and pulling him over to the couch to sit on the floor. She sat on the couch, pointing the spot in front of her.

“Come on, it’s no trouble.”

He watched her for a moment, deciding to humor her. He sat down in front of her, close enough so she could reach his head. The first thing she did was gently run her fingers through his blond locks, causing the young man to stiffen.

“I’m gonna start now, okay?”

She placed the towel on his head, gently wrapping it around his hair and fluffing it. She started to hum softly, Kurapika relaxing under her touch.

He hadn’t been cared for like this in a long time, it reminded him of being a child. Her touch was soft, caring, like that of a mother. Kurapika had to try his best to hold back tears.

It was painful to remember, especially when those memories were of the Kurta clan. No matter how much time passed, little things like this were enough to plague his mind.

(Name) pulled the towel back, her fingers running through his hair again. “Mmm, still a bit damp. Do you want me to leave it, or-“

“Please continue.”

His tone surprised (Name). It wasn’t that of her usual calm friend, no this was from a desperate man in need of her touch. She wasn’t stupid, she knew Kurapika was hurt. Just one look into his eyes told her something had broken him, changing him into a man that he had never wanted to become.

So she did continue, drying his hair and humming, stopping ever so often to run her fingers through his locks and compliment the pretty color.

It wasn’t much, but Kurapika appreciated this attention greatly. He wasn’t used to being cared for so tenderly. The last time he allowed himself to relax in this way was around his old friend…

“Your hair is all dry now, Kurapika!”

She smiled down at him, ruffling his hair. He nodded, standing.

“I’ll return the favor once you’re done, (Name).”

She paused, scratching the back of her head. “Well, I’ll probably just blow d-“

“There is no blow dryer.” Zebro called from the kitchen. (Name) groaned, accepting Kurapika’s offer with a shy smile.

‘She was so willing to help others, but why does she seem to hate accepting things in return for her kindness?’ Kurapika thought, glancing at her. This had happened a few times before, along with her viewing herself as useless.

Although he wanted to address these issues now, he knew it wasn’t the time. She had enough on her plate, being basically kidnapped and (in Kurapika’s mind) sexually harassed by a literal assassin. He stored this information away for later.

The door flew open, Gon exiting the bathroom with his hair sopping wet. (Name) glanced in Kurapika’s direction before giggling.

“It seems I’m gonna be drying a bunch of peoples hair tonight.”

——————

She ended up drying both Gon and Leorio’s hair, adding in some of her leave in conditioner to Gon’s hair as he whined.

“I’m sorry, but it’ll help with the tangles. I hope you don’t mind smelling like strawberries for a while.”

He didn’t, and the other two ended up getting some mixed into their hair as well. Although Kurapika seemed to take care of his hair the best, it was still in need of some extra love.

The group of three left this experience with silky locks, all smelling of strawberry soap. It didn’t seem to bother them much, Gon sniffing himself every once and a while with a grin.

(Name) left them to walk up to her room and grab a change of clothes. The butlers had been there alright, filling the drawers with all the clothing she could ever need.

After picking her pajamas for the night, (Name) strolled to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She didn’t think they would come and peek on purpose, but she did know that one of them may forget she was showering and walk in to use the restroom.

Something similar had already happened on the airship, Gon having walked into the ladies room accidentally. Thankfully just (Name) had been in there washing her hands, because she doubted Ponzu would have been as nice as her.

The girl stripped, dropping her clothes into a laundry basket and stepping into the shower. The water felt nice on her tired muscles, but stung at her injured arm.

Usually she could take long showers, over 30 minutes, but today she settled for 15, quickly washing her hair and body before exiting.

She slapped on some lotion and moisturizer before slipping into her pajamas, yawning lightly. The finishing touch was wrapping a towel around her hair.

(Name) walked out of the bathroom, sighing in content as she looked at the dinner table. It had been set up, with the main dish being a roast. There were mashed potatoes, broccoli, and rolls as side dishes, the scent of it all causing her to drool.

“Mmm, nothing beats a nice dinner after a long day!”

(Name) took a seat next to Gon, having a plate handed to her by Seaquant. During her first visit to the servants quarters, Seaquant had been a bit rude, but now he was more polite when he wasn’t ignoring her.

“Thank you!”

(Name) dug in, the others staring as she devoured her meal, kicking her feet happily before she stopped, placing her fork down. “This… wasn’t poisoned was it?”

Kurapika blinked, giving her a confused stare. “Poisoned? Why would it be poisoned?”

(Name) thought back to her first night at the manor, and how Illumi had questioned if her food had been poisoned before she ate. “Mmm… I guess it wouldn’t be, since this isn’t the main house.”

She continued her meal, her three friends now a bit concerned. Was she being poisoned on such a regular basis that she had to ask?

When (Name) finished her meal, she began to walk upstairs, yawning. “I’m gonna go to bed. I-“

Kurapika followed behind her, (Name) pausing to stare at him.

“Kurapika, what are yo-“

“Did you forget I said I’d help dry your hair?”

She blinked, then shook her head. “No, of course not.”

“I can tell you’re lying. Hurry up, it’s getting late.”

—————

Kurapika sat on her bed, watching as (Name) pulled the towel from her hair and handed it to him. The wet hair hung around her face, water dripping onto the floor. “I have a bit of a tender head.” She whispered, looking away in embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.”

She sat cross legged in front of him, her back to him. Kurapika realized in that moment he had never dried someone else’s hair for them, dropping the towel on her head.

He tried his best to remember the feeling of her hands in his hair, the amount of pressure she applied. Eventually he began to towel dry her hair, humming an old Kurta lullaby.

“Mm, you have a nice voice Kurapika. What’s that song you’re humming?”

He ran his fingers through her hair to test how damp it still was, placing the towel back on her head to continue. “It’s a lullaby, one my people used to sing to the children at night. I’m a bit surprised I still remember it.”

Usually talking about the Kurta filled him with pain and anger, but right then in that moment, the phantom troupe didn’t exist to him. The only thing that really mattered was that she was here, gently leaning against his knees and smiling.

“That’s sweet. Your people must of been very talented to produce such a sweet melody.”

He softened at her words, glad that she couldn’t see the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

“Yes, they were.”

After he finished drying her hair, Kurapika lingered. For some reason he didn’t want this moment to end, didn’t want to leave her comforting presence.

“Kurapika, would you like to see some pictures of my cats?”

The blond nodded, greedy to spend more time with (Name). She stood, plopping onto the bed next to him. When she was this close, he could smell her lotion, sighing contentedly at the soft lavender scent.

She pulled out her phone, scrolling through a few pictures of her cats, squealing in delight at some.

“Oh, and this is Tammy! She’s actually pregnant right now, and I’m soooo mad I won’t be home when she has her babies!” She huffed, showing him a picture of a brown tabby cat with a small round belly. He chuckled, seeing a reflection of (Name) taking the picture in the mirror behind the cat.

“She’s cute. When will she be giving birth?”

“Mmm, I think within the next week or so. We’d only discovered she was pregnant a few weeks before the exam.”

She peered at him, smiling sweetly. “You can have one of the kittens if you’d like. I trust you enough.”

Kurapika blinked, a light pink on his cheeks. “I would gladly adopt one if I actually… had a home for her.”

(Name) tilted her head at this. “Do you not have a home to return to?”

This seemed to be a sore subject, causing the blond to sigh and look away. “No. After my clan was massacred, I never was able to find a place that felt like home. I go from place to place, but never stay for long.”

(Name) nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I understand. In that case, you’re welcome to come stay with me if you need to. You’ll always have a place in my house, okay?”

This time Kurapika let his tears fall freely, nodding. “Thank you (Name), you don’t understand how much that means to me.”

She wrapped him in a hug, patting his back gently. They stayed like that for a while, (Name) rocking him as he pulled himself together.

“I think I’ve taken up enough of your time.”

The man stood, brushing the tears from his eyes and giving her a brave smile. “I’ll head to bed now. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Don’t be a stranger, I’m here if you need me!”

(Name) watched him go with a hand over her heart. She could physically feel his pain and suffering, barely holding back tears of his own.

She was determined to be the best friend she could be to him, a good influence on this heartbroken boy. Unbeknownst to her, Kurapika looked down at his hand, imagining the feeling of her hair and the smell of her skin.

A part of him wanted to stay longer, but he knew it was late. It was going to be a long day tomorrow, and (Name) needed her sleep.

He lied down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling above him with soft eyes.

“I hope she has good dreams.”

——————

(Name) awoke to the sound of grunting and groaning. She rubbed her eyes, glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to her. It was only 3 am, she’d had 4 hours of sleep.

She stepped out of her room, peering down the hallway to see Gon and Leorio doing the same. She glanced between the two, an unspoken question between them.

‘Who’s making that noise?’

A cry rang out into the night, the three rushing towards the sound. They ended up dashing into Kurapika’s room, the blond writhing in his bed, asleep.

Leorio crouched down to shake his shoulder, but was slapped away. He gasped, pulling back.

“That hurt. Maybe we should just leave him be. It seems like he’s just having a bad dream-“

(Name) gave him a look, the man silencing himself instantly. She stepped forward, just out of Kurapika’s reach. “Hey, wake up. You’re having a bad dream.” she cooed softly, bending down. He whined, relaxing ever so slightly at her voice.

She thought back to earlier when he’d told her about the lullaby he’d been humming and decided to hum it for him now.

His contorted face instantly softened, his limbs falling to his sides. She took this as a chance to push his hair back off of his sweating forehead.

Gon yawned, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “I’m gonna go back to bed. You got this?” He was worried for Kurapika, but knew that his presence wasn’t helping anything. (Name) nodded, not pausing her humming.

“Alright, I’ll be heading out too. Try to get some sleep, (Name).”

With the two gone, (Name) was left alone with the blond, sitting on the floor next to his bed so she could be comfortable.

“(Name)?”

She glanced to her side to see Kurapika’s eyes boring into her, his breathing slowing.

“Yes, I’m here.”

He reached for her hand, squeezing it tighter than he would of if he was more in control of his emotional state. She didn’t complain, only watching him with a careful eye.

“You were having a bad dream. Would you feel better talking about it?”

He thought for a moment before shaking his head. “That’s alright.”

Kurapika watched her, his eyes going from an intense red to a soft grey. “Was that… the lullaby I told you about earlier?”

“Yes, I thought it might help you calm down.”

“… it sounds much better coming from you.”

She giggled, patting his head. “Quite the charmer huh? Let’s get you tucked back in.”

Kurapika lied back down, (Name) pulling the cover up to his chin. “Thank you, I’m already feeling much better.”

“That’s great.”

She stood, sitting on the edge of his bed. “It’s getting late, I’m gonna go ba-“

“(Name).”

He grasped her sleeve, his eyes wild. She’d never seen him look at her like that, like a desperate animal.

“Yes?”

Kurapika pulled on her sleeve, his chest rising and falling slowly. “Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

She sighed, a tired smile on her lips. “Of course.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

He leaned back against his pillow, able to relax with her near him. Kurapika didn’t understand why, but having her around made him soft.

He was usually a very cold and calculated man, but that flew out the window when she was near. It was like he could be vulnerable, childlike, soft, and she wouldn’t judge him for it or call him weak.

What was it about her that made him feel this way?

“… I had a dream about the massacre.”

(Name) stiffened at his statement, looking down at him with worried eyes. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”

She pushed back his hair again, letting her hand wander to his cheek, caressing it. Her lifted his hand to hold hers, his thumb brushing over her knuckles.

“I have these dreams frequently, so don’t blame yourself. Nothing we discussed earlier caused this.”

He sighed, letting go of her hand. (Name) yawned, pinching herself to stay awake.

“I’m going to try and sleep now. I’m so sorry, but your presence helps me… relax.”

He closed his eyes, finally able to sleep in peace. (Name) stayed with him until he started to snore, knowing that he was knocked out.

She snuck out of his room, climbing into bed. It was 5 am now, (Name) sighing before passing out.

——————

The three awoke earlier than (Name), allowing her to sleep in a bit. Kurapika felt guilty for keeping her up so long, nervously tapping his fingers against the table.

“Mmm, I think it’s time to wake her up. If we train without her, she’ll be pissed.” Leorio stated, standing from his chair. Kurapika stood as well, walking past him and up the stairs.

“I’ll do it.”

Leorio and Gon shared a glance, confused by his strange behavior.

Kurapika knocked on her door as he opened it, the sound doing nothing to stir the sleeping girl. He paused at her side of the bed, giggling at her disheveled hair and clothes.

“(Name)? (Name), wake up. It’s time for breakfast.”

She whined, turning away and smacking his hand away from her shoulder.

“Mmnn… I told you to stop Illumi.” She groaned, pouty.

Kurapika raised an eyebrow at that, shaking her again. This time she stirred, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. “Kurapika? Mm did you sleep well?”

He felt soft again, sitting next to her on her bed. “Yes, thank you. I was able to sleep peacefully because of you.”

She nodded, swinging her legs over the side of the bed to sit next to him. “That’s good. I was really worried about you.”

He felt his heart thump against his chest, out of embarrassment or happiness he wasn’t quite sure.

“Don’t worry, it was just a bad dream. I don’t-“

She looked him in the eye, completely serious. “Kurapika, I don’t care if it was just a bad dream. When I see my friends suffering, I can’t NOT worry. Even if it’s annoying or if I’m deemed a worry wart, I’ll never stop worrying about the well being of my loved ones.”

Kurapika’s breath hitched in his throat. What was with this girl and her innate ability to bring tears to his eyes and a clench to his heart?

“It’s not annoying at all, (Name). It feels… nice to be cared for. Just…”

He looked away, struggling to find the words. “Maybe it’s hard to accept care when it’s hard to care about yourself.”

Her words caused him to turn back to look at her. The air was different, (Name)’s eyes boring into the wall.

“Yes. It is.”

Kurapika had no room to be angry that she didn’t seem to care about herself, because he was in the same boat, but something made him grab her hand in a tight grip.

“Kurapika, w-“

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes locked on her (e/c) ones. She gasped, the color a beautiful scarlet, one she’d only seen a few times before.

“I won’t pry into your business, because I would rather you not do the same with me, but just know one thing.”

He smiled, pulling away slightly to cup her cheek. “I care about you, and I’m sure Gon and Leorio do as well. Even if you can’t seem to care about yourself, we will do it for you. You will always have someone that loves you and wishes for the best.”

He wasn’t shocked to see tears threaten to fall from her eyes before she pulled herself together, leaning into his touch.

“Have I ever told you you’re a sweet boy?”

“A few times.”

They laughed, (Name) standing up and stretching. “Alright, I’m gonna get changed. I’ll meet you down in the kitchen in a minute.”

Leorio watched Kurapika leave the room with a raised eyebrow. His blond friend had a sweet smile on his face, holding his cheek.

“That took a while. What, were you busy making out or something?”

Kurapika stiffened, causing Gon to gasp.

“Wait!! Were you really!?”

“No.”

Kurapika gave them a look, quieting the two instantly. “We just had a chat. Besides…” he folded his arms, a sly smile on his face.

“I wouldn’t kiss and tell.”

—————

(Name) jogged down the stairs wearing a skirt and sweater. Leorio blinked as she sat down next to him, looking at her skirt.

“You sure you wanna work out in that? Its not exactly the easiest to get around in a skirt without… you know.”

He acted out the scene, twirling around the screeching when his skirt(a pillow) flew up, “exposing everything”.

“Leorio, you’re deplorable.” Kurapika said with a groan, covering his red face.

“But I’m not wrong!”

She laughed, standing up and twirling.

“Unlucky for you Leorio, I’m wearing a skirt with built in shorts!”

The group ate breakfast, finishing their meal before walking outside. This time Kurapika helped (Name) get her vest on, gently sliding it over her shoulders.

“They’re getting kinda close, huh.” Leorio whispered to Gon, who shrugged.

“I guess! I’m just glad Kurapika seems happier.”

Leorio nodded absentmindedly, watching the two giggle at each other with worried eyes.

‘I just hope he doesn’t get too attached too quick. It’s never good to put all of your chips into one person, especially within such a short amount of time.’

(Name) helped clear the table after breakfast, singing along to a song Kurapika didn’t know. When finished, she looked at the group and gave them her biggest smile.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”

They all smiled back, the older two a bit bashful.

Kurapika, Leorio, and (Name) stretched in front of the testing gate, Zebro watching over them.

“Hey, why don’t you try removing those vests today?” Zebro called, Leorio grinning.

“Oh? Music to my ears!”

The two threw their vests off, Kurapika turning to help (Name) with hers.

“Ah, she can keep her vest on. After all, it is you two who must open the gate.”

(Name) frowned, her hands on her hips. “I don’t mind keeping it on, but I want to help my friends.”

Zebro sighed, shaking his head. “I wish I could let you, but this has to be done by your friends. If you help, it wouldn’t be fair to their efforts.”

(Name) rolled her eyes but complied, watching the two as they worked.

“It’s okay, (Name). Just you being here helps us enough!” Leorio stated, him and Kurapika pushing the gate in sync. It began to open, the guards watching on in shock.

“Damn it… it won’t move any further!” Leorio grunted.

(Name) turned her head at the sound of the ground shaking, seeing Gon had taken off his vest and sling. She moved to stop him, but paused when she saw determined look in his eye.

He strolled forward, placing his hands on the testing gate.

“Gon!”

“Why are you using your left arm?”

“It’s okay. My arm’s healed now.” The guards watched on in a mix of shock and excitement, (Name) cheering for them.

“Healed?” Kurapika questioned.

“Are you sure Gon?”

“Yep! Anyway, we have to push together, right?”

The two nodded. “Right, let’s push!”

“Let’s go!”

“One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

The three pushed, the sounds of their effort causing (Name) to anxiously rock on the heels of her shoes.

“You got this!”

“It’s opening…” Seaquant mumbled, Zebro chucking in response.

The door finally opened, Gon falling through onto the ground.

Kurapika and Leorio held the doors open, trying their best to control their breathing. “It opened.”

Kurapika and Leorio grinned. “YES!”

“We did it Gon!”

“Uh-huh!”

(Name) rushed in, helping Gon up as the doors closed, the two men leaning against the now closed gate to catch their breath.

“That was amazing! I can tell how hard you boys have been working!”

She pinched Gon’s cheek affectionately and helped the two to their feet

“Follow the path, and head for the mountain. The mansion should be somewhere up there. I’m ashamed to admit that even though I’ve worked here for twenty years, I’ve never been up the mountain. Sorry that I couldn’t be of any help.” Zebro said, watching over the group with kind eyes.

“No, that isn’t true. You’ve been a huge help. Thank you for everything!”

Gon gave a quick bow before sprinting off towards his group.

“Mmm, this is a different path than the one I took up the mountain, it’s much… nicer.”

(Name) skipped along the path, stopping every few minutes to admire the scenery. She wasn’t able to get out much, and Kukuroo Mountain was beautiful.

“There’s another path? Well if this one is easier we’ll take it.”

Leorio didn’t know that although the path was clearer and easier to traverse, it would be harder to get past. There was someone waiting for them, someone that would not let them by easily.

“Leave. You’re trespassing on private property. I cannot allow you to pass without permission.”

(Name) looked at the girl, immediately recognizing her as Canary. Canary blinked, smiling at (Name) politely.

“Miss (Name) is an exception of course.”

“We called ahead, and we came through the Testing Gate.” Gon began walking forward.

“The butlers did not give you permission to enter.”

“What do we need to do to get permission? I said I was Killua’s friend, but they wouldn’t put him on.”

“I wouldn’t know, because no one has ever received permission, besides Miss (Name).”

“Then we’ll have to trespass!”

“I suppose so. In any case, this is where I draw the line. If you take one step beyond this line, I’ll remove you by force.”

Canary pointed to (Name) then behind her. “Miss (Name), you are free to continue down this path if you’d like. You’ll reach the butlers quarters in no time.”

(Name) stiffened, shaking her head. “No, I won’t go without-“

“(Name).”

She stopped, turning to Gon. He gave her a smile and a thumbs up.

“It’s better if you go ahead. It might make it easier if we have an inside man.”

Kurapika nodded. “It’s better for you to be safe instead of staying with us. I don’t want our actions to get you in trouble.”

“But-“

“No buts!” They yelled in unison, causing the (h/c) haired girl to pout.

“Fine! Canary, don’t go to hard on them.”

She didn’t answer (Name), only a hint of a smile for her response.

—————

When (Name) reached the butlers quarters, Gotoh was waiting outside for her. “Miss (Name).” He greeted, waving her inside.

She spent the next few hours being scolded for helping the “intruders” and training her Ren. As the day passed by, she checked the windows constantly to see if her friends had made it yet.

“Master Killua is on his way.”

(Name)’s Ren faded immediately, the girl jumping up excitedly. “Really? Oh my gosh!”

Gotoh led her upstairs, where she was told to wait until Killua arrived.

She sat on a couch, staring at pile of… chocolate robots? Weird, she’d never seen something like that before.

“Miss (Name), Master Killua has arrived.”

“(Name)!”

Killua rushed into the room past Gotoh, tackling her into a hug. “Killua, you’re okay!”

She gave the boy a tight squeeze, patting his head gently. “I… I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay.” Killua said, his voice barely above a whisper.

(Name) looked over his face, frowning at the wounds that littered it. “I thought the same with you. What happened? Illumi told me you were being punished, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be so…”

“Brutal?”

“Yeah…”

Killua sat up, crossing his legs. “Well, I did stab my brother and mother, so I let them punish me a bit. But now that’s over, and I’m gonna see Gon again!”

(Name) smiled widely. “Yeah, I actually saw them earlier today. They’ve been working really hard to rescue you, ya know. You have some really good friends.”

He paused, sniffing the air. “(Name), what’s in that bag you’re holding?”

He pointed to the small cloth bag, tilting his head in confusion. “Oh, this? It’s for you!”

She handed him the bag, allowing him to tear it open. It was like watching a kid open a present on Christmas Day, his eyes lighting up when he laid eyes upon the chocolates and treats.

“I made you your own teddy bear and some baked goods! Happy Valentine’s Day!”

He immediately began munching on the chocolate, happily telling her how good it was. “Almost as good as my chocolate robots!”

He downed the treats quickly, turning to the aforementioned robots. (Name) remembered Illumi ordering several entrees during dinner, giggling. Him and Illumi were alike, in some ways.

“Gotoh is gonna tell us when Gon gets here, so we can just relax. What have you been doing?”

—————

After a lengthy explanation of what had happened during her stay, Killua nodded his head. “I don’t like it, but I agree with Illumi. Kalluto knows better than to use his full strength against a non-target.”

“Ugh, everyone keeps saying that.”

“Because it’s trueeee!”

They stuck their tongues out at each other. “Anyone ever tell you how annoying you are?”

Killua paused.

A memory surfaced to his mind, one of him and (Name).

flashback

“Killua, are you here?”

The young girl peered behind a tree, her voice tinged with worry. Usually the young assassin would be there by now, but he was uncharacteristically late.

She already worried enough about Illumi getting hurt during a mission, and now her heart was thumping painfully in her chest thinking about her young friend being hurt, if not killed.

Before she could think anymore, a dark shaped jumped out of the trees, screaming. (Name) yelped and fell, tumbling down the small hill and landing against a log.

“Oh no, (Name)!”

Killua had planned on spooking her, not killing her! He ran down the hill, watching as the girl sat up, groaning. He knelt beside her, apologizing as sincerely as he could.

“Ugh… has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?” She asked, ruffling his hair. The comment had no malice behind it, something Killua wasn’t used to. She wasn’t angry that he had caused her to get hurt, just a bit annoyed.

flashback end

“… yeah, someone told me once before.”

He stared at (Name), his catlike eyes taking in her face. She treated him like she always had, with a motherly touch and kind words. Had her memories returned, or was she this kind to every person she met?

(Name) leaned against her chair, huffing. “I swear, i only met Illumi a week ago but he acts like he gets to make all my decisions for me.”

Nope, she definitely didn’t remember. He was starting to feel bad for his older brother, if only a little bit.

The two chatted for a bit, Killua become more impatient by the minute.

“Geez, how long do we have to wait? Hey, Gotoh!” He opened up the door to a dark hallway throwing his voice into the dark.

“Anyone around?”

(Name) joined him, confused. “What’s going on?”

The two rushed down the stairs, opening the door to the living room to see their friends sat on a couch, being applauded by several butlers.

“Gotoh, is Gon here yet?”

“Killua, (Name)!”

“Oh, you’re here, Gon! Along with… Kurapika!”

“I’m just an afterthought?”

“Liorio!”

“It’s Leorio!”

The group laughed, (name) leaning against the back of the couch. “I can’t believe you came, what happend, your face is a wreck!” Killua teased.

“Yours isn’t any better!” Gon replied.

“Hey Gotoh, I told you to let me know as soon as they arrived. What were you doing?”

The butler bowed in Killua and (Name)’s direction. “Forgive me. I had them participate in a little game.”

“A game?” Killua asked, already suspicious.

“It was nothing more than a poor joke. I apologize for any aggravation. Did you enjoy yourselves?”

Leorio rubbed the back of his head, relieved. “That was some really good acting.”

“What, did they try something?” Killua questioned, his eye on Gon.

“No, they were entertaining us.”

“Really? Well anyway, let’s go somewhere else. Anywhere else, right now. If we stay here, my mom will give us all an earful!” Killua groaned out.

(Name) watched them from behind the couch, smiling. They noticed she wasn’t joining in on the conversation, Kurapika deciding to ask her about it.

“(Name), are you coming with us?”

She shook her head. “No, I have training to do. Illumi has been kind enough to allow me to stay until it’s completed.”

The four visibly deflated, Killua whining like a child.

“But!”

They perked up, looking to her with excited faces. “I’ll accompany you all to town. Let’s spend one last day together, until we have to go out separate ways!”

That seemed to be enough for them.

—————

(Name) returned home the next day, having made plans to meet the group September 1st in York New, the same time she was meeting her old friend.

She yawned, being escorted back to the manor by Canary. “Gon said you gave him a beating. He’s stubborn, isn’t he?”

Canary had a hint of a smile on her lips. “Yes, he is.”

The two walked in silence, Canary holding open the door for her as they entered the manor. It was nearing dinner time by the time she’d gotten back.

The group of five had done some shopping in town and eaten lunch together, wanting to spend as much time with each other until they were forced to part ways. Kurapika and Leorio would be going their own way, while Killua and Gon had decided to stick together.

Because Gon didn’t have a phone, Killua and (Name) exchanged numbers so they could stay in contact.

As (Name) changed out of her clothes and into a new dress for dinner, she heard several notifications on her phone.

Unknown: hey (Name), it’s killua. be careful, my family is crazy, and I think mom is a bit too interested in you

(Name) sighed. She already knew this, but appreciated his warning nonetheless. She set his contact as “Lil Guy”, giggling.

The next message was from her old friend.

Grumpy Pants: received gift, thank you

Her heart beat faster, a hand resting against her mouth. Her friend almost never thanked her, he must of really liked it!

The third message was from Illumi.

Illumi: I’ll be home later tonight. Don’t wait up.

She closed her phone. (Name) didn’t want to admit it, but she was a bit excited to see Illumi. She had just said goodby to her friends for at least 7 months, and could use his company.

She sent him back a quick message before running to dinner.

Strawberries: okay, be safe!! <3

——————

Illumi looked over (Name)’s message with a pang in his heart. Her kindness truly knew no bounds.

“It’s almost time, Illumi.”

Hisoka looked completely different, his extravagant appearance and voice altered by Illumi’s needles to make him look and sound average.

After all, it wouldn’t make sense for Hisoka to attack (Name). Illumi wanted to keep his business arrangement with Hisoka, and if he did after Hisoka attacked (Name) she would probably be upset.

“… alright. I’ll give you the signal when she returns to her room.”

He looked over her message, biting his lip. Was this really the right decision? He didn’t know, but Illumi was desperate for her to learn her weakness. The thought of her going out into the real world unaware of the dangers in it made him insane.

“… I’m sorry (Name), but I’m going to be breaking my promise tonight.”

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

I am living blogging my reaction to the second watch through of WDAPTEO 4 bc the first run through was so much

00:00- I screamed when I saw the notif. I was alone in the car. Just pulled up to my apt looked at my phone and screamed “ no way “ I still can’t believe we got it

00:01- hi, they are SO BEAUTIFUL I’m squealing. I cannot stop staring it’s embarassing

00:27 what’s going on here? “Nothing” my heart. The smiles

00:50 oh I am LOVING the feature wall. And fish tank reveal project??

01:00 how dare they throw THAT japhan photo up there like it’s just some example. Who the hell do they think they are- also I want that doomed hoodie :( he is snug as a bug in a rug

01:50 terror not even 2 minute in and crack

02:03 I’m sorry Dan asking Phil about TikTok stuff is precious

02:13(What is cba)

02:39 I CACKLED. Phil’s sarcastic ass omg

02:44 dans little pat

02:58 phivorce

03:05 I know the ft, they are friends of course. But seeing the messages really warms my heart. Like it’s so normal why am I emotional

03:52 of course Phil sends millions of memes

04:10 how in the fuck did Phil catch his phone what??? Ft dans face during the whole interaction.

Ad time —— 04:25. Im sorry Dan looks fucking amazing, his hair is so curled and pretty? And he looks so comfy cozy and soft??? My Dannie side is really coming out rn

04:59 handsome devil, damn straight. Love this man he’s too precious for this world

05:23 🍑

05:55 are the Brits okay??? Bone daddies?? I’m too American for this

06:30 perfectly encapsulated Dan and Phil energy

06:35 Dan saying dude scratches a weird itch in my brain

06:55 again! Totally normal to call a friend in a taxi. But this moment makes them so real in my mind like yes. Call that friend. In that taxi. Make it less awkward. Why did I like this moment so much

07:05 A PRETEND CONVO OF COURSE HE WOULD. He’s so real for that

07:34 “these are very dan and Phil”

07:42 I’m in pain. Koala content and ouch I can’t even put into words

08:44 three days without a text sounds exaggerated. Or lie. Like cmon. All those messages and convos and yall went 3 days without a word?? Sounds fake

08:58 asking what he should do for his nails!!? Again totally normal but UGH I love their friendship

09:01 also Phil coming in with a STELLAR idea, hope to see it happen

09:11 Phil’s a little shit OMG he hated the nails Dan got.

09:38: dans precious little selfies

09:44 also who tf is that that does not look like Dan

09:52 wtf do you mean that they had the same weird Swedish bakery???? 10 years apart???? WHAT THE HELL??????

10:35 fuckin nerds ft cute ft selfie

10:52 Dan in Phil’s glasses hi what the fuck? Precious. Phil loves to take photos of Dan sleeping.

11:02 jump. Scare.

11:28 PHIL CALLED HIS MOM. NURSE LESTER.

12:11 Dan stalking the ring doorbell is not something I expected?

12:20 glad to know Phil and I share that we can’t hear someone saw our name bc it’s too intimate

13:16 ordering a roast dinner is so cute idk why

13:35 jump. Scare.

14:26 I hate them :( i so long for what they have

15:04 they didn’t see death note the musical!! Haters!!!!

15:20 HOT

16:00 Phil papping Dan>>>>>>

16:20 I rewatched this part so many times. Thsi entire sequence. This whole. Dare i say SCENE. Disgustingly familiar. Disgustingly cute. I- karaoke game???? What??? It was for them

17:06 omatone :(

18:22 hot? Worrying? Hmm???

18:45 Phil is so dramatic I love him

19:01 genre to dinner? I don’t get them

19:10 DAAAAAN AHHHHH

19:20 SCRIPTS AH???????3@2/9/@/9@22929 more writer Dan

20:17 this is so familiar

20:50 this has “would you still love me if I was a worm” energy? Can’t explain

22:53 “we dan and phil-ed it” we have to steal that! Asap’

23:24 when Dan sits up he is soooo much taller than Phil but he constantly slumps down and looks up to Phil. It’s very cute to watch.

24:30 oh they are fully embracing the joint channel and slowly moving away from gaming and honestly. I’m alright with it. They look so happy

Guys this was too much. So I just started reading fanfic and these conversations were right out of what I’ve been reading which is very odd tbh? But we were fed. This was amazing content and I can’t wait to see what the writers do with this. Cheers

[maaarshieee]

hey hi! i saw u asking for dottore requests so here i am with one :)

how about what a relationship w dottore is like while ur both attending the akademiya? before he was expelled? i would love to see ur interpretation on what he was like and what it was like to be with him!

also for the reader could i possibly ask it to be male? if not then gender neutral is fine! thank u in advance! <33

⎯⎯ ୨ 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐇𝐂𝐬 𝐰/ 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 ୧ ⎯⎯

➢ Iʟ Dᴏᴛᴛᴏʀᴇ x Gɴ!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

➢ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

a/n - ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH IVE BEEN ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT WRITING THIS ILYSM /P this wasn't my best but honestly i just needed to write him,, titled "akademiya days HCs w/ dottore", have a good day/night!! ALSO PLS REQUEST THIS MAN, I PROMISE I CAN WRITE BETTER THAN THSI.

↬ cw: established long-term relationship with reader, mentions of experiments, canon typical violence, slight obsession (basic dottore warnings) usage of the name 'zandik' for dottore

You've known him, Zandik, for as long as you can remember. From childhood to your teenage years. Together, you were chased out of your hometown. Him, for being a "madman", and you, for supporting and even encouraging his maniacal tendencies.

You only went to Sumeru Akademiya to be with him since the two of you were practically inseparable. You wanted to stay by his side and help him with his experiments. That, and also the fact he needed you.

He will never outright express it, but without you, it just doesn't feel right. Like he's missing something very important. You.

At first, it didn't really mean anything to him when you stayed, but the more you stuck around? The more he was internally grateful for you staying with him, even if he wasn't the best to be with.

And the more he has to keep you with him. No matter what. Luckily, you're not letting go of him either. The two of you were a perfect match. Both have loose screws in their heads and are madly in need of each other.

Perhaps for eternity.

So he does these things for you when the two of you shared a house back in Sumeru. It's always the little things about with him. Doing the laundry before you do it, organizing your files of research when you fall asleep on your desk in midst of trying to finish them, helping you with your studies, and many more.

Sometimes he'd add notes and corrections to your research papers whenever he happens to get his hands on them.

Zandik knew you were never engrossed in researching and would rather do things with his instructions instead, so he'd help you do your tasks if it meant keeping you close to him at all times.

He'd cook you breakfast if he wasn't too busy, but he'd always complain about he has to cook for the two of you every morning when you can always just cook for yourself, albeit later, and won't be eating with him.

Zandik is so subtle in showing his love for you, but you've been with him for so long, enough to be able to understand what his actions meant. But back when you were at the Akademiya? He was like a househusband. Hell, he even folded your clothes for you and you had to scold him to stop.

He merely rolled his eyes, saying; "Your room is a mess. How can you live in this filth?"

You're caressing my clothes like a weirdo, is what you wanted to say but you knew better and kept your mouth shut. After all, you'd often steal his clothes, just wrap them around you and inhale his scent.

Since he's the type to never really mingle around others, often intimidating them or just being plain rude enough for them to start avoiding him, you took the role of being the sociable one. Basically talking to others to get more information about anything and if it's of use, you'd tell Zandik.

And he greatly appreciates how helpful you are, especially when he abhors conversing with seemingly brainless, so-called scholars of Sumeru.

You're really the only person he could tolerate the most.

Always together. From walking the halls of the Akademiya, in classes, libraries, anywhere. Anyone who knows you would always see you together. It was always odd when the other is absent next to them.

Though, to others, sometimes it wasn't clear if the two of you were in a relationship or just really close friends. Mostly because the two of you never indulge in (obvious) PDA.

Scholars would see the two of you in the library, minding each other's business, and would occasionally speak to each other. Or the banter the two of you would share here in there, usually consisting of you crying to annoy Zandik and him telling you to shut up.

But they don't even notice the hand he'd always have at the small of your back. Or the way he'd ask you if you need any help with your research. Or the way he'd always bring you coffee when he buys one himself.

It's not like both of you hate PDA, it's more like you act naturally with each other. Sometimes you'd even hold onto his arm, to which he would give you a questioning look but would never push you away.

It's the subtly outsiders of your relationship won't ever get. And you both prefer it that way.

Back at the Akademiya, it was rather docile and tame beside the secret experiments behind closed doors. Being with him was both chaotic and calm.

One moment he'd be making a fuss about his experiments to you, willingly doing errands for him to quell his frustrations, then you'd be laying on the floor, dozing off to the sounds of pen scribbling on paper, a small huff of amusement coming from Zandik.

There were many things he'd do for you, and you share the same sentiment. So, if someone were to insult you? Make you uncomfortable or just look at you in the wrong way? Well, next time you'll be seeing them strapped on a metal bed.

───── ❝ encore! ❞ ─────

"I'm honestly running out of ideas." You sighed, an arm covering your eyes while you sprawled yourself onto the cool floor. Papers surrounded your laid form, an utter mess in the middle of Zandik's way whilst he just wanted to go towards the kitchen to prepare dinner for both of you.

You were supposed to do your chores for tonight, but it's clear he'd also have to take up those tasks as well. Not when you're lamenting your own 'doom' if you've not passed your research on its due date. Not like you cared about graduating, you just thought it would be nice to achieve something while you're at Sumeru Akademiya. And now you're at risk of not graduating if you don't pass it in time.

Zandik always found humor in the way you'd fuss over your research though. You always said you've never cared, but it was clearly obvious you did. He knew you had other goals before you indulged yourself in his, so he never held you back on your own research and experiments while you were at the Akademiya. It's also nice to see you so dedicated to other things, especially if it's something you're very passionate about.

"Who knew this would be much more stressful than your research?" You grunted when Zandik nudged you to move aside with his foot, unceremoniously stepping on your thesis papers which earned a glare from you. "I hate the Akademiya..." You'd mumbler under your breath. He merely scoffed at your behavior, ignoring your existence once he finally arrived at the kitchen.

Knowing him, you sat up from the floor and made sure you were a meter away from the line drawn on the ground. Zandik put that there since, as it turns out, you're never to be trusted in the kitchen, with or without his supervision. He couldn't simply comprehend how the kitchen was up in flames when he turned away for a few moments, mistakenly trusting you to cook eggs. Eggs.

A hazard is what he calls you. So the kitchen became his territory in the house you shared. You're only allowed to enter after he's done cooking. If you somehow find yourself in the kitchen? Expect a flying spatula right at your face. You never really minded, you always preferred his cooking.

Plus, you get to see him roll up his sleeves and put on an apron.

When he was finished, he called out your name, inviting you into the kitchen. Once you entered, your stomach immediately let out a loud growl as your mouth watered at the sight of your favorite food. "Oh, is there an occasion?" You asked, taking a seat opposite of him, and immediately started digging in after you'd thanked him.

Zandik raised a brow at you, sipping on his cup of tea before saying; "No, nothing of sorts." You just let out a thoughtful hum, a smile etching your lips at each bite.

"Ah, then why?" He could only sigh at your question, grabbing a napkin and wiping the mess you've made at the corners of your mouth and your chin. You only leaned in closer, staring at his crimson eyes.

"Do I require a reason to cook something you like? It just happened to be what's available for tonight." He scoffed, shaking his head, and went back to eating his food with an annoyed expression.

You let out a silent chuckle, letting it go, and continued to eat instead. You guess that he needn't a reason, but you felt so much better after he cooked your favorite meal.

He's never straightforward with you sometimes, no? Well, as they say, actions speak louder than words.

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