#I KNOW they will be okay but I CANNOT take much more of it

[ranthaven]

I cannot speak for anyone else. But let me say this. My brother, two years younger than me at 56, is disabled. He has almost no vision, is missing part of his left leg, and has milieu 2 Autism. It’s a heck of a cocktail.

It took many years to get him any benefits at all. He finally was given SNAP some years ago, then he was allowed to be in our state’s Medicare expansion (thankfully the Dem governor got right on that once we ditched the Repub asshole), and finally at the end of 2022 he got SSDI. But his monthly total of benefits was maybe $1700 in direct payments. The health care coverage was mostly in the form of getting services for free, which is huge, but won’t keep you indoors in the winter. I was able to give him a bedroom in my house, which is comfortable for 4 or 5 people. He was number 6 and we have just two bathrooms.

So, with the house packed pretty well, he wasn’t complaining, but he wasn’t really happy. I researched apartments and found the post-pandemic prices in our state ranged from who-could-afford-to-pay-this to OMFG! And we are mostly rural and not affluent. But we do have subsidized housing! He was able to get into an apartment in a good area of a small city. There have been complications and notable roadblocks since then, but he is okay, finally.

My point is this. I, at least, see you. All of you. I know from direct experience how hard it is and how much you suffer. I know. I see you.

We are fortunate to live in a mostly blue state with mostly decent people around. Our state government has some of the better policies and programs for disabled people within the constraints of our budget. I and my family always vote in favor of more things to help people and are happy to be able to pay taxes to support these programs. We are activists as far as we can manage, which is mostly donating money and harassing politicians. There probably aren’t enough of us and other like-minded people to tip the balance with any speed, but we’re here.

We are here. We do see you. We are doing all the things we can, that we know of. We will be delighted to take up more efforts to defeat the fascists. All I ask of anyone is that you let me know if you have new or better ideas for what we can do to help.

[hannieehaee]

Idk if you're taking requests but I would give it a short and it would mean so much if you actually wrote smthg bout it.

An angsty fic/drabble where woozi and reader are in a long term established relationship and the reader gets their absolute dream job opportunity but it's far from Korea and she tells it to woozi but they get conflicted since woozi cannot transfer between his work and seventeen and reader does not want to give up this once in a life time opportunity. At the same time they are sceptical about a long distance relationship since reader had already been fed up of how less they get to see and stay with woozi with him travelling and working constantly.

You don't have to write it if it's too complex but I'd love to see cuz I really like the way you write!

content: idol!woozi x nonidol!reader, established relationship, light angst, fluff, long distance relationship, etc.

wc: 716

a/n: thank u so much!! im so sorry for how long i took to get this out!!

masterlist

it'd been a week since you told jihoon about your new work opportunity. a week since the air in your apartment became just a little bit colder and the future slightly more grim.

jihoon had been supportive immediately, congratulating you and insisting on you accepting the position. he'd been as supportive a boyfriend as he'd been in the past two years of your relationship. it filled you with warmth and hope for the future of your relationship.

it wasn't until you'd let him know of the location of said job that things became more sad than hopeful.

although he still maintained his supportiveness, there was now a clear air of worry in his voice any time it'd get brought up.

you'd tried to ignore it, pushing it aside until you found the courage in you to actually accept the position. it was your dream job. a once in a lifetime opportunity. except it was an entire country away from the love of your life. and you only had three more days to accept the offer letter they'd sent to you.

the thought of doing long distance would have been fine had you been anyone else. but you barely got to see your boyfriend as it was. living with him was really the only way for you to spend time together. his busy idol schedule had him going all over the world, and when he was at home he was usually ever at the company or in your shared apartment.

if you left, you'd give up on ever getting to see him.

"babe."

the voice took you away from your train of thought. the same train of thought distracting you for the past week.

you looked away from the tv that had been playing in front of you. you hadn't even been watching it, but the background noise helped.

jihoon was at the entrance of the living room, two mugs in hand as he walked over to you and took his usual seat, silently handing you your mug with a tight smile.

not even a single sip from your drink was taken before the subject filled the room once more.

"you need to take this job."

"jihoon ..."

"no, listen," he turned his body to face you, "you and i, we're a forever thing, okay? i don't care if we have to be away for a while. i'm already living my dream, it's unfair that you don't get to do the same," he argued with conviction in his eyes.

"but, jihoon ... it won't be like when you're touring. we'll never be in the same country at the same time, i-"

his hands went to take your mug, placing it on the coffee table before taking your hands into his own.

"i don't care!", his voice raised without meaning to, "so we'll have a year or two in which we can't be as close as we've always been, so what? it won't matter in the grand scheme of things. we'll be together for forty- no fifty years. a few years of uncertainty won't matter a few years from now. babe, please."

his voice pleaded at you.

he was afraid you'd end it all instead of at least trying.

what made it worse that he refused to consider a possibility in which you didn't go and follow your dream. it was a done deal to him. he loved you that much.

that was all you needed to make a decision.

"i'll take the job," you said decisively.

jihoon released a sigh of relief right away, hand squeezing your own in encouragement.

"i-i'll rent a place big enough for the two of us over there. i'll ask for a week off every six months. i'll have it written into my contract so i can go visit you. and- and we'll keep this place here for any time you have time off. we'll call every night, no matter what. even if it's just for two minutes, we'll- we'll make it work."

all you could do was smile at him.

how could you ever worry about change when he was willing to work so hard to move along with it all?

you kissed him then, shutting him up with no words.

and he understood, kissing you back with just as much unspoken love.

[thebreakfastgenie]

Please enlighten me how a belligerent senile old man was deemed "good at governing" when inflation is at record high, we still haven't fully bounced back from all the fucking shut downs during 2020-2021, crime is at an all time high. $33 for 9 gallons of gas is so not what I want to pay just to be able to drive! No I cannot take alternative transportation. I am BARELY getting by on $16/hr. Afghanistan was fucked up, there's a war in Ukraine and in Israel. When Trump was president there was no war, gas prices were manageable, I was doing okay on $13/hr (i.e. I could pay my bills, gas up my car, buy food and buy the nice things I want). So tell me again how Biden is good at governing?👀

I'm choosing to publish this because in all the years I've been attracting insane anons on this website, I cannot recall ever getting such an openly pro-Trump ask before. Ironically, since I was just saying twitter isn't benefitting me, I recognize this language from a lot of tweets, it's generic "average person with regular concerns" language, and practically a copypasta. It's very likely this is an op.

We've seen high-passion low-information leftists get horeseshoed by right wing ops on here since at least 2016, but open pro-Trump messaging like this is more recent.

The first thing that really scared me this year was attending a local street festival in my neighborhood in Boston, Massachusetts and seeing a Turning Point USA booth. The right is moving into places we aren't used to seeing them, places that they didn't bother much with before.

We have to be vigilant about this. I know how dramatic that sounds but this is serious. I think one of the reasons we're losing the information war is it just sounds so weird it's hard for people to take seriously.

[physalian]

3 More Character Types the World Needs More Of

Or at least, I do.

1. The denied redeemed villain

I need this. So badly right now. So, so, so many “redemption arcs” are half-assed and carry undertones of guilt by the heroes, gaslighting them into thinking the villain “wasn’t all that bad” right before they make some big heroic sacrifice, as if that’s ever enough to make up for the damage that was done.

But you know what I never see? A villain who’s done some awful shit, wakes up to reality, tries to apologize and… is denied. No, it’s not enough to be sorry. No, you’re not absolved of your crimes just because you cry really hard on your knees. Yes, you have to work for it. Yes, even if you work for it for the rest of your whole life, those you hurt are not obligated to forgive you.

Example that sadly did not happen in canon: Enji Todoroki

2. The liar revealed who loses

This fucker lies and cheats his way into his lover’s arms (and liars revealed are always men, because their love interests are always women put in the place of “but he tried really hard and you need to forgive him uwu” unless it’s gay). Similar to above, no, you do not get rewarded just for feeling sorry.

This character builds an entire relationship (and it’s specifically romance that I take such an issue with) on a lie. They are not who they say they are, specifically, they lie about their identity because they know their lover would not let this happen if they knew the truth.

It’s one thing to lie about something inconsequential, or to lie about something unrelated, but to lie deliberately to present yourself as the perfect suitor—and these are never little white lies, these are usually entirely false identities, or secrets so damning that risking the truth could mean arrest or even death—just. Why?

Yeah, okay, you never thought you’d get this far. Cool. You don’t have to tell her the truth, but you have to leave before you trick her into sleeping with you.

It’s just. So squicky. And the lesson always is that he deserves love, that he makes up for it with everything else, that he’s just got a winning personality. She always forgives him, even if they fight about it, it’s so, so predictable.

Examples that did not lose: Aladdin, Evan Hansen

3. The paragon who loses faith

I don’t know that we need a whole bunch of these characters, but so many paragons are painted as heroes with unshakable loyalty to their causes and I’d love to see a devolution of character where they just can’t keep smiling and pretending it’s alright. That there is a limit to how much shit they can take.

They don’t have to go full villain, but maybe they just stop caring, maybe they get cynical, maybe they just don’t show up for work the next day, maybe they’re not there when they’re needed the most.

There’s a few stories I can think of where the masses realize they’ve screwed up and show the hero that their faith has been rewarded (Nolan Bats being one of them) but I mean really a hero who just cannot take it anymore, throws in the towel, and walks away knowing it’s the hardest thing they’ve ever had to do.

Example: (kind of) Captain America

—

Sorry this list is kind of a bummer. It’s a bummer kind of week.

[holylulusworld]

Every Breath you take (19)

Summary: There is a shadow following you. He doesn’t know what he got himself into.

Pairing: Stalker!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: a man out of time, secret admirer trope, “crazy” reader, fluff, domestic life

A/N: You all made me do it! Here’s the series to this random idea: Stalker Bucky & Crazy Reader

Catch up here: Every breath you take (18)

Every Breath You Take Masterlist

“More salt,” you comment as Bucky stirs the sauce. You decided to start over, and the first thing you did was to cook together. “It tastes good but lacks salt.” Licking the spoon, you watch Bucky add more salt.

Since he came back, you tried to talk about the elephant in the room with him. Bucky must, once and for all, realize that he cannot treat you like a caged bird. You’re with him on free terms and don’t want to be treated like a prisoner.

“I didn’t know you could cook.” You try to ease your nerves and talk about anything but what’s on your mind. “It’s nice having a man who can cook.”

“Uh—I’m not much of a cook, but I can try to get better.” Bucky seems to be as nervous as you are. “For you.”

“Bucky,” you begin, but clamp your mouth shut. You sigh, shake your head, and try again. “Okay, we need to talk.”

“Doll, I already told you that I’m sorry." Bucky winces as you cross your arms over your chest. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have locked the cabinets. It was a mistake and won’t happen again.”

“There is a locked room. I assume it’s the basement,” you sniff. “Did you want to put me down there, and that’s why it’s locked?”

“What?” He drops the spoon in his hands. Bucky looks like you slapped him across the face. He winces and shakes his head. “No. I locked it because it’s dangerous. I didn’t want you to get hurt or hurt yourself.”

“What are you talking about?” You huff, frustrated. He’s hiding things from you again, pretending to keep you safe. Whenever you believe you’re making progress, you take ten steps back.

“If you want to, I’ll show you.” Bucky steps around the kitchen counter to touch your shoulder. “I never wanted you to see this side of me, but I don’t want to hide things from you.”

His hand slides down your arm to take your hand. Bucky guides you out of the kitchen and walks straight toward the locked door.

He unlocks the door with his thumb. The door slides aside, and the light automatically turns on. “I go there when the nightmares get worse,” he says, as he guides you down the staircase.

Down in the basement, there’s no furniture but an old mattress on the ground. You wrinkle your forehead as Bucky steps toward the wall.

He presses a button, and the wall suddenly moves aside, revealing a hidden room. On the walls hang weapons of all kinds. Guns, knives, blades, even something that looks like a rocket launcher.

“I hide it down here if we are ever in danger. You know about Hydra, and you know there’s always the possibility that one of them made it out alive.”

“Why the mattress?” You question. The mattress stands out like a sore thumb. It doesn’t belong down here, in weaponry.

“I told you, sometimes my nightmares are worse. I scream and, on very bad nights, I punch the walls or worse. If that happens, I go down here to not scare Alpine or hurt you.”

“Oh…OH!” You feel awful for thinking Bucky tried to hide things from you again. “I understand.”

“It’s for emergencies,” he hastily says as you glance at the weapons again. “I swear, we won’t need them.”

You nod and swallow thickly. Of course, you heard about Hydra and Bucky’s past. You just never thought the big bad guys could try to go after you.

“Better safe than sorry, right?” you stammer. All the guns make you nervous, but you know, Bucky is right. You can never be too careful. Other people get an extra door lock, and you’ve got a whole weaponry.

“Please don’t be scared,” Bucky says, gently touching your arm. “I know this is a lot.”

“Bucky,” you murmur his name and fake a smile. You’re still nervous because of all the weapons, but you don’t want to disappoint him. Bucky showed you his secret and openly talked about his nightmares. “Thank you for your honesty and trusting me.”

“I don’t want to hide things from you, Y/N. You were right. We cannot build this relationship on lies or secrets.”

“Good,” you say, and nod. “We should take care of dinner now. I bet Alpine is hungry too.”

You eat in silence while looking at Bucky. He seems less tense now that he has revealed this secret weaponry to you. Still, there is something you need to say.

“I don’t want you to sleep down there if the nightmares are bad,” you suddenly say. “If you need me, I’ll be there. We are a pair now, and I want to help you if you are sad or scared.”

“Doll, I can be scary when I wake from a nightmare.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” you state, and put the cutlery aside. You get up from your seat to cup Bucky’s face. “We’re in this crazy thing we got ourselves into together. No more excuses. It’s us against the world now.”

“Us against the world,” Bucky repeats your words. He watches you crawl in his lap and sighs. “You’re crazy, you know.”

“You too,” you giggle. “For choosing me.”

Tags in reblog.

[rootspiral]

Agatha all along deep dive: episode 1 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2])

Okay, let's keep going through Agatha All Along epsode 1, in which detective Agnes sees Nicky's lock of hair inside her brooch and is stunned into silence for a long ten seconds

she's feeling agonizing heartbreak and cannot even tell why

you know what, she technically is home. she's in her living room as we speak. but every line has multiple readings, so go home... where? to her old self? to her witchy roots? to her coven? to Rio? to Nicky, in the afterlife?

I wonder is all the water puddles are deliberate. do they symbolize mirrors, is she gone through the looking glass? or is water = rio?

the way she has to steel herself before getting into Nicky's room

THE MOON PHASES OVER THE BED. as if she wishes there was a coven looking over him, protecting him

I saw some reactors laughing their asses off at this scene, still hung up on the parody of it all, going "did they make the rabbit into a dead kid backstory? that's HILARIOUS." Sure. So funny.

(they keep associating Nicky with rabbits tho, in the previous scene with Rio there's a blink-and-you-miss-it moment when a plant in the background suddenly turns into Nicky's picture. was señor scratchy named after him?)

why can't they properly light their scenes goddamnit I shouldn't have to use 6 layers to see her face

oh look it's Aubrey Plaza and pizza, two of the sexiest concepts humanity has ever come up with

first of all: open vest and white shirt? that's hot. second of all, the way she's sitting so confidently with her whole chest out, so open, taking deep breaths. she just wants to drink her all up, all of her, her beauty, her sorrow, her goofiness. she's SO damn in love.

what a goober. what a delight. plaid shirt and no makeup, drinking beer and snorting when she laughs, a bit awkward and bashful. what a stud. I would die for her. I would wife her so quickly. I'm gonna say this whit my whole chest, the more femme presenting Agatha is, the more she's wearing a shield and playing a part. this is Agatha raw and defenseless and true, and I want to protect her like she's a precious kitten. (me and Rio both, tbh)

case in point: Agatha is manspreading like some idiot lumberjack, and Rio looks like she has never seen anyone hotter

Agatha: "I have a lead in the case". Rio, with goddamn bedroom eyes: "that's not why I came over."

But then when Agatha looks overwhelmed she immediately course-corrects and encourages her to talk about the case. Love me a boundary-respecting king. Real talk, she's been respecting those boundaries for a long time. And even if she's quite angry at Agatha, she won't unleash all that on her when she's so defenseless.

She pushes a little, and the moment it's too much for Agatha she steps back and regroups. She's being SO gentle.

That's fascinating that her subconscious knows what happened to Billy. Exactly how connected they are?

Whoops, we're leaning in again.

She says yes so openly. When the real Agatha has been running away from Rio and this confrontation for centuries! The real Agatha is SCREAMING in terror, but he body won't listen because it's fallen back into that feeling of domesticity and trust. This is the same body that will always yearn to kiss Rio. The mind that categorically forbids it is shut away for the time being.

Why is Rio trying to wake Agatha up? She could let her stay like this. She could easily make Agnes O'Connor fall in love. The two main reasons why she doesn't are: because she's so fucking angry with her, and she wants them to finally have a mature conversation about Nicky and she needs Agatha to understand that she's hurting too. The second reason is - because she loves her too much. It's honestly just that. She cannot let Agatha live like this, tortured, imprisoned, without agency. She want to have a mature conversation with the real Agatha, she wants to get angry with the real Agatha, most of all she wants Agatha to be okay. Do you see the difference? She's not just in love with her, because being in love is a selfish act, but to love someone is fundamentally selfless. And she will keep loving Agatha no matter if they are together or not. She loves her enough to bend the rules of the universe for her. She just... she loves her.

and this, letting Agatha exist in this form, is a punishment too cruel for Rio to allow

The half smile, the bitterness behind it. An Agatha who doesn't hate her is just a beautiful fantasy, but Rio knows better.

it's Billy! and another mirror! yep, that's a theme.

Ha, the real Sharon was calling him a hooligan. RIP sharon, gone too soon

so intense!!?! even when she's not doing it on purpose, her characters are cheesy and cliched. and it takes a lot of talent to write a bad show too, so kudos to jac schaeffer & co

~see you all in part three

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"Marry me"

Lily stops smiling and she is surprised about her boyfriend's proposal. It is out of the sudden. It takes her breath away.

Lily was just talking about... Something... She can't remember now.

How can this boy be real?

"What?" Lily knows her cheeks are on fire.

"I just can't take it anymore, Lils" he says "I love you so much. I don't think I will ever love anyone the way I love you. So, I want to marry you. Now!"

"Now?"

He nods.

Lily adores these words. It is what every girls wants to hear. And he is not nervous or doubtful. He says it like that is all he wants.

Even if he is just eighteen and has a life ahead of him.

"Well, I know you are used to have everything you want in an instant, James Potter" Lily says and he chuckles "But you can't just ask me to marry you just like that. Out of nowhere"

"Why not?" James shrugs "It is what I feel"

Lily snorts. She opens her mouth but realizes she has no reply. Only him can make her nervous, only him can make her lose her sense. Why not marry him? Her heart screams. Her brain is melted.

"Well..." Lily tries, trying not to blush when he gets near and hugs her from behind "We are so young... We have nothing figured out. We haven't even finished school..."

"All we need is love and each other" he kisses her neck and she wants to melt into his arms forever "The rest is secondary"

Lily pushes him away and faces her boyfriend. James is smirking like he knows he already won. Lily doesn't like to give him that satisfaction. She wishes her love for him is not this strong to make her weak to say yes to everything he says.

"Marry me" James repeats. Lily's heart starts beating fast "Please"

Lily smiles and shakes her head.

"You don't even have a ring. What kind of proposal is that?"

Lily wants to turn this into a joke and move on. That is easier.

"I'll get you one"

Fuck it. Everything seems easy for James Potter.

"Please?" he adds.

"James..." she laughs.

Without warning, James grabs her waist and lifts her up. Lily screams as they spin around.

"Please Lily Evans, just marry meee!!"

Lily laughs happily and wants to scream yes, yes, yes. A million times yes.

"James, put me down!"

"Not until you marry mee!"

James keeps spinning and Lily is sure everyone's eyes are on them.

"Fine fine! I'll marry you" Lily says.

When James puts her down, exclaiming "Yes! You said it!", Lily cannot take it anymore more. She erases his triumphantly smirk with a kiss. It is one of those deep kisses that takes his breath away afterwards and gives Lily the sensation that she has won.

"But in ten years, okay?" Lily says, now with a smile.

James, who is too hypnotized about the kiss, just nods.

"Okay"

So Lily leaves content with herself.

But she hears her boyfriend following her and saying.

"Wait Evans, not in ten years, I said now!!"

Lily laughs.

[rhiannonsknife]

you said rhiannon and safe word in the same blurb and now i'm having some thoughts...

i'm thinking about a really intense scene, maybe you being tied up in her basement and her fucking you - whether it be with her strap, her fingers, her tongue, or her knife, she's bringing you to another orgasm (you've lost count of how many she's given you)

now, she's content to wring as much pleasure as she can out of you, but it's getting to be too much. the pleasure has turned into pain and you don't think you can take it anymore. so, you utter your safe word, a hushed sob beneath your breath

red.

she's immediately stopping any and all stimulation, backing away to give you some space. i feel like if it's at the beginning of your relationship, she'd lowkey panic, freezing up and apologizing over and over again. you assure her that it's ok and that she didn't do anything wrong. she's immediately rushing to untie your bonds (if she can't do it fast enough/her hands are shaking too much, she cuts them off with her knife)

the whole night is spent by her side while she continuously makes sure you're ok. she draws you a bath, she brings you a fresh pair of clothes/pjs, and she's constantly checking in to make sure you're ok. she just cares so much about you and she wants nothing more than for you to be ok 💔💔💔

-🪐

100% yess!! she just wants you to be okay :(( god i love rhiannon so much guys cannot!!!

— warnings: established relationships. fem!reader. implied knife play. nsfw content. mdni. use of safe word. after care.

so. as we’ve established: rhiannon loves to know that you trust her as much and that you let her explore these rather ‘extreme’ things with you.

obviously, with handing over power like this comes a certain responsibility. rhiannon lowkey gets so happy and excited (and not even in a sexual way) to have somebody there who loves and appreciates her so much that they’re willing to share the experience with her!!

before you get started, she talks about every possible thing that could happen; discusses safe words and boundaries, things you definitely want to incorporate, dealbreakers, and stuff that you’re not sure about/want to experiment with. obviously, even with all of that settled, there are times when it just becomes too much to handle. pushing you to your limits is the point, after all, and rhiannon appreciates it even more that you’re comfortable and willing enough to stop whatever you’re doing and don’t try to push yourself for her sake.

that doesn’t mean she’s not in full panic mode the first time you use your safe word.

she’s been keeping you tied up for what must’ve been hours, at this rate. she’s started out by rubbing her knife against your clit until you’d been pushed over the edge -embarrassingly fast and from nothing but the firm pressure of the handle. ever since you’ve lost count of how many orgasms rhiannon has given you. she has put her mouth on you, has finger fucked you (-stuffing your cunt full. “so you’re ready to take my cock” she’d claimed, pumping three fingers into you at a brutal pace), and has then gotten the strap out for good measure.

that’s how she’s been fucking you ever since. right now, your wrists are tied together and she’s got you bent over, ass up and face down as she slams into you from behind. under different conditions, you would wonder how she does it, how she keeps up the relentless motion of her hips, snapping forward time and time again. but right now, your brain is foggy with the haze of your previous orgasms and the sting of overstimulation.

something seems off today, though. usually, there’d be pleasure in the pain that comes from being pushed this way. there’d be a thrill in knowing you’re giving all control to rhiannon. there’d be at least one more orgasm in you. it had been pleasurable, up until this point, after all.

under your breath, knowing you won’t be able to manage anything louder than this, you utter: “orange”, not willing to call it quit just yet. maybe, you think, you can take some more. you want to be good for her, you want to please her.

rhiannon slows her pace down. “are you okay?” she checks in as established. “do you need a break?”

“i don’t- fuck- i’m not sure-“ you stammer. god, rhiannon really has been fucking your brains out, hasn’t she?

her palm lands on your back, tracing the skin there soothingly. “take your time baby” she assures you. she’s so tender with you. in an instant, it pushes the first sob from your throat. her strap is still buried to the hilt, but now that you have the time to consider it, there’s no longer any pleasure in the way it feels. your body is too spent to accommodate the stretch.

“red” you cry out, unable to string any more words together.

rhiannon is backing off of you immediately, a quiet little gasp falling from her lips. you can’t see her yet, she’s still behind your back, but now you long to, desperately.

“i’m sorry” you hear her, sounding frantic. the sound of the harness dropping to the floor still rings in your ears by the time she walks around you. “i’m so sorry, here-“ rhiannon steps into view. she’s discarded the strap and a panic expression is written all over her features. she is in a rush to untie you, cursing quietly under her breath as she isn’t able to undo the knots fast enough for her own liking. in the end, though you’re only half aware of it, she cuts them with her knife carefully.

“is it okay if i touch you?” she asks softly, her hand lingering just above your shoulder, always knowing when to take and when to give, and not yet touching you.

you can only muster a soft nod, but rhiannon sees nonetheless and carefully maneuvers you so you’re no longer on the cold floor, but half draped over her lap. like this, she waits the time out that it takes for your breathing to calm until you’re coherent enough to verbalize your needs.

(she caresses your body all over, whispers sweet nothings against your temple, and plays with your hair.)

“can we go to the bedroom?” you suggest weakly. whilst you appreciate being cradled in her arms, it would obviously be better in the comfort of your bed. you don’t have to ask her twice: instantly, you’re picked up and carried all the way through the house until you’re both curled up under the covers together.

rhiannon is still excessively apologizing at this point and continues to ask if you’re okay: “is this comfortable for you?”, “do you need anything else?”, “god i’m so sorry, i should’ve known”, “can i get you something?”

even after you’re conscious enough to reassure her that you’re okay, that this could’ve happened before, and that the point is not that it was too much, but that she immediately stopped what she was doing to look after you, rhiannon still makes sure you’re the center of her attention for the rest of the evening. she gets you into your most comfortable pjs, takes a bath with you if you feel like it and lovingly scrubs your body clean.

if you don’t, she offers to order dinner for you, and the two of you end up having a movie night on the sofa, cuddling together with tink curled up beside you.

with you, she’s always nurturing like you’ve never seen before but especially after using the safe word, rhiannon wants nothing more than to make up and ensure that you’re okay <33

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

Okay I want to hear your thoughts on sapnap and mcc bc oh boy that sounds interesting

No because, genuinely there are old clips of people laughing when they bring him up because they know he's popular but they don't want to see anything bad about him. Like you can barely tell it's chuckle.

As you may know originally teams were categorised based on 2 factors. Vibes. And if they could go a long period of time without swearing or not.

In the Skizz and Imp podcast, Scott laments about how it was so hard to categorize people who could not go an extended period of time with swearing in their stream and with people who could not stop swearing.

And there is more people who are PG/ can go a long time without swearing, then non-pg people, the podcast was recorded roughly a bit before the sapnap drama with MCC but it was still bubbling.

I need you to go back and watch that podcast because even if they were clear examples you can still sense who he's talking about, because genuinely sapnap would swear so much but even non-pg people wanted to avoid playing with him. If you go back to watches old MCC wins you can hear the nervous chuckles of people when he begin to swear.

Additionally one time they were trying out a new system on MCC and a lot of people were aware of that and it came out that the math was wrong and two teams should have got first place instead of just one because of the math, and One team was willing to just relent a bit and at the end of the day walk away. But Sapnap on his own had caused such a fuss that they still had to give him a coin and had to let him compete in DodgeBolt, and how to get a crown for him post his picture saying that he won along with his team. I cannot describe to you the absolute tantrum that man went on. Over a coin. He was so disrespectful that he didn't come back for a couple mccs after.

There is a genuine reason why a collective group of people do not want him to compete in MCC.

And you're probably wondering why did he compete in the MCC recently? Because before the main deal of him being signed to kick.com he had already signed the application and had been accepted to do MCC. The same week he came out and said that he was joining kick.com and that a lot of it young viewers should join kick.com

People with begging Scott to remove him, but kick.com just gave that man 20 million and he would definitely find a suitable lawyer to take his case because he earns a substantial amount of money from MCC.

But why would he Sue over MCC? I have a longer post going through this, but I will explain it here to.

Scott couldn't say no. For alot of reasons but here are 2 off the top of my lil head

1. Him not allowing sapnap to compete in MCC after already accepting his application is illegal form of discrimination regarding someone's work. Because he would be discriminating against how he does his work and what he uses to do his work, ( a more clearer example of this would be for someone to reject another person's application because they found out that they were Binman/wasteman, explaining the other people thought it was filthy). In reality

Scott had no basis to withdraw his application and to withdraw his place because most arguments (which are true), had came from social media and it could be argued that the people on social media influence Scott to make that decision and therefore sapnap could have lost a large portion of revenue as a self-employed person that MCC and Scott would have had to repay him based on statistics.

Again I have a longer post going through the law on this but I fact checked everything, and he would genuinely have a legal basis to sue them for discrimination.

And Scott had to take all the stray bullets for that. Because in the UK you have to consent to a formal document being shared with someone else. And even though this is an application for a game it's still an application. So he couldn't share the content of the application because it's illegal here.

Also in the podcast Scott mentions him having a waiting list and then bring this up the applications and you brings up a rough idea of when they application started, and you could actually guess when the applications started From when sapnap started turning up less frequently. Meaning that he was one of the many reasons why the application was made in the first place.

2. Publicity. Sapnap brought a lot of viewers to can watch MCC and it's argued that if Dream and George were there but Sapnap was not there, the pair would not participate regardless of what team they were on because their friends. (BBH actually brings up how close their friendship is when he was defending dream against one of his many allegations and you can tell how close the friend group is. An in Sapnap's Defense of dream he literally goes on about how close they are and in the deleted vod he said wherever he goes I go).

But getting back on track, at the time without the large audience that MCC had it would have not been as sustainable as it is today. They definitely contributed to the success in the early days along with others as it will seen as a new form of Minecraft Monday.

He also raged pretty hard when in MCC 14 Scott's team won after giving hints to his teamate, to win ace race. To which half of his team didn't even finish. And they actually placed lower than top 3 in that event. Scott goes on to say about how he and other had tested it, they were giving instructions and Sapnap did actually finish.

But he was so mad that Scott team had won at a game that EVERYONE was objectively bad at that thiers a 15 minutes video of him screaming about it in Youtube.

Scott later went on to say him and many others who did finish also tested the map, and he always give hints to his team, AND SAPNAP HAD WON AN EVENT WITH SCOTT'S HELP AND USING SCOTT'S HINTS. It's only when he didn't win he had a problem with it.

Sapnap cried when he didn't win, and blame everyone about it yet shot up his ego when he did.

And admittedly he did get better as time went on but dude needs a whole ass team fr-

Are realistically you couldn't call the two of them friends they were more, a friend of a friend. And even if Scott didn't like them objectively over people like them and that's why they were there.

Sapnap but did not come back after the kick.com incident and I doubt he will.

And on that notion a lot of streamers have younger audiences ranging from children to teenagers to young adults. While kick.com is a primarily adult site, not completely adults but you're gonna see some weird things. The majority of streamers who participate in MCC, obviously are going to be put into teams. And if you were put into a team with Sapnap, who was streaming on kick.com, you might think to yourself "wow he'd fun ill check him out!" then boom pedo in your Dms.

For many streamers involved in the event he was not ideal to keep around because realistically he was endangering of a people's audiences while pumping out publicity from his own.

It was not fair to other streamers that their young audiences could we expose to an objectively talented person streaming on one of the worst sites known, and he signed this deal back when kick.com has no moderation, so imagine all the convicted sex offenders, criminals and gambling on the site, then in an attempt to get a younger demographic onto the side it paid Sapnap using the money that they gained from gambling to effectively switch over ( because, and Tubbo did a stream on this and summarized it accurately, because he had a couple conversations with this CEO and for money. Not for the audience).

Meaning that everyone is immediate circle who wanted to continue to watch his content or learn who he was through major events like MCC would download the app and then over your targeted by a lot of older people.

And actually this was the basis that allowed Scott to never bring him back but Scott could not get rid of him for the MCC because it would be legally discrimination.

There are a bunch of things too that I could say about how at the start the only people he would team with would be mostly from the dream SMP and how that directly correlates with how people described him in person, ( trying to control and dominate people), and how people like Niki were too scared to say no at the time, but it be a bit late my dude

The takeaway from this is that he was MCC Problem Child and that Scott couldn't immediately kick him out due to discrimination despite reassurance that he changed his behavior only to immediately sign to kick.com. How he'd endangered both his young audiences and other if he actually stayed. How we used to scream and yell at every one of his mistakes to the point where people didn't want to compete with him. How he would target people who faulted him within the game. And even how he practiced the game so much to the point where they had to make new maps and that if he would lose it would genuinely be down to his team and not him as a player because he had practiced so much meaning that his team felt worse after they didn't win because they knew it was their fault instead of just being happy to play the game ( like you remember when they blew up parkour warrior and replaced it with a new map because of them)

He was just realistically a mess and I'm surprised they tolerated him so long, because the amount of money they have to drop on changing things because the Dream Team had paid someone to recreate some of the maps so that they could practice, and then other people started doing that in which they would memorize a certain game practice that game and then come out on top ( an example of this would be technoblade, who memorised all materials needed for BuildMart and they had to change it and he was basically told that he couldn't do that and he was actually sorry because he didn't know because other people like we're doing it. And again with Technoblade killing people in Bingo to which in the Stream he says he didn't know that you could kill people in Bingo and once people figured it out that would be the strategy until they changed it. Philza practicing ace race maps as he had someone build an almost identical copy of the original because other people were doing it. Wil and other, trying to perfect The Glitch block technique and that's one point someone had commissioned another person to remake the map to see where it was going wrong so that they could utilize the bug instead of playing the game). All these things have in common that they were all in the same server at one point and that the dream team had started this trend but all of them stop doing it when they were told to stop doing it but the Dream Team didn't to the point where even Sands of Time had to be changed, parkour warrior, sky battle, battle box, parkour tag and TGTTOS had to be changed, and they actually sparked the "maybe we should have different maps" trend

Because it was a poorly hidden secret that they'd paid people to re-create maps so that they could practice. (but Scott giving hints is cheating he says while paying someone to remake parkour tag so that they can get a perfect run)

[caffeinatedowlbear]

On Handsome AIs and identities

This was going to be a comment in the discussion under this post, but I cannot be stopped.

After clearing up semantics, OP and I are in agreement that AI Jack was created by means of a ‘brain download’, however BL’s near-magical technology would handle that.

What comes next is determining to which degree AI Jack is or isn’t the same person as Jack 1.0. I’m afraid you’ve triggered an unskippable cutscene.

To clear this up, I propose we answer the following questions:

1. Is AI Jack a SEPARATE being from Jack 1.0?

2. Is AI Jack a DIFFERENT being than Jack 1.0?

Is he separate?

As far as I’m concerned, yes, because:

He is a new being: AI Jack is a digital entity that had not existed before being created by Nakayama: and we know that Nakayama did make the initial primitive AI we meet in TPS; we can imagine the AI Jack in Tales being a much, much, much upgraded version of that.

He is operatIONAL, even if not operatING: based on how easily AI Jack is activated in Tales, we can assume that the 'brain download' wasn’t being passively dumped into a static database, but incorporated into a digital, self-aware system capable of autonomous thought and action, once activated.

“But he wasn’t activated until—”

Irrelevant! As far as I'm concerned, a being in stasis is still a being. It exists, and it’s alive, just not presently active. If I wouldn’t be okay with destroying an active self-aware AI, I also wouldn’t be okay with destroying a fully functional AI that hasn't been activated yet. Killing the latter would NOT feel more okay than the former.

Is he different?

OP has pointed out that from the point where Jack 1.0’s and AI Jack’s experiences start to differ, they become separate beings. Based on my points above, I argue that AI Jack is a separate being from jump. But paraphrasing OP, I would say that 1.0 and AI become different beings the moment their experiences diverge.

And that moment is the very next second after 1.0’s brain download begins. Because the brain being downloaded is a snapshot in time, so as soon as 1.0 makes a new memory, including the memory of uploading said snapshot… continuity has been broken. 1.0 now has a memory that AI doesn’t.

Which kind of means that the only time Jack 1.0 and AI Jack are the same person is the split second between 1.0 starting the brain download and the download commencing?

(As an aside: if we imagine that New-U's are canon, they are meant to instantaneously back up the user's brain at the time of death, and digistruct a new body into which the brain contents are uploaded. Similar for Fast Travel or any other teleportation: you're scanned, destroyed, then recreated at the destination. As long as only one copy of you exists at a time, your continuity is preserved. If a spare copy is left behind, we have a problem.)

(As an extra aside: the show Living With Yourself features a darkly funny, but pretty solid exploration of what happens when a spare copy of you gets left behind.)

Revisiting our questions now…

1. Is AI Jack a SEPARATE being from Jack 1.0? - yes, because AI Jack has existed at the same time as Jack 1.0 

2. Is AI Jack a DIFFERENT being than Jack 1.0? - yes, because AI Jack’s memories are never exactly the same as Jack 1.0’s, due to the snapshot nature of the hypothetical brain download

Now, for the trillion-dollar question… Does being a separate and different ENTITY from Jack 1.0 make AI Jack a different PERSON?

This one, I’m afraid, has too many layers, because wouldn’t you know it, being a person is complicated. XD

For the purposes of this discussion, let’s take the Felicity example. If the memory of what Jack 1.0 did to Felicity are part of AI Jack’s memories, does this mean that AI Jack also inherits the blame for those actions?

I don’t know. For real. 

It’s easy to say ‘of course he does, because he’s a direct continuation of Jack 1.0’ - except that he’s not, as I’ve described above.

‘But even AI Jack himself, in Tales, views himself as a direct continuation of 1.0’ - but just because he thinks that doesn’t make it true.

I think the only way that makes sense to me is to ask: if Jack 1.0 were still around, whom would you hold responsible for the damage done to Felicity? For the death of Bloodwing? For the destruction of New Haven?

If you had to put someone on trial for that, would you go after the man who actually did it? Or after the man who was made to believe that he had? 

So if we wouldn’t have held AI Jack responsible for Jack 1.0’s actions if the latter was still around, I don’t think that 1.0’s death should change things.

AI Jack is a Separate and Different being than Jack 1.0, and should not be held responsible for any of 1.0’s actions.

The defense rests--

Wait, actually…

There is one exception to my closing statement.

AI Jack is a Separate and Different being than Jack 1.0, and should not be held responsible for any of 1.0’s actions UNLESS he chooses to accept that responsibility for whatever reason.

Now, in what situation would AI Jack WANT to be held responsible for Jack 1.0’s actions? When accepting responsibility is inextricably tied with some experience of being Jack 1.0. When he would rather think of himself as Jack 1.0, with everything that entails, rather than be completely separate from him.

When there’s something in his-not-his memories that he wants to think of as his own, even if it means accepting the pain and grief and other baggage that comes with it.

Consider the following segment from my fic, in which AI Jack, by now pretty invested in the idea that he is NOT Jack 1.0, believes he has a fleeting chance to speak to the ghost of Angel (emphasis added).

“Angel.” Just saying her name again makes Jack want to drop to his knees, but he’s not gunning for pity here. “I am… so sorry. I’m— I’m told you understand that I’m not… him, but really, I’m not not him, either, ‘cause I— I remember it all. Better than he ever did, ever could, ‘cause he never could go back and look, really look at it all, and I can. I… have. I’ve seen everything he’s done, I’ve learned what you did, and I got it, I finally got it, too fucking late, of course, but for what it’s worth— Yeah, no, I know it ain’t worth much. Just like your dad, always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to the stuff that matters. Gahd, you really have been dealt a shitty hand as far as parents go, eh, baby girl? Far as too many things go, really. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, what he— what I— Fuck.” He forces a chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Language.” Seriously, this identity crap is starting to really get in the way. Story of his digital life, huh. Guess he’d better pick a pronoun and stick with it. Is he saying sorry for what the other Jack did, or taking on the man’s actions as his own? Is he offering an apology, or just condolences? Is he a bystander, an accomplice, or the perpetrator? Well, he can’t be either of the last two, ‘cause he, this Jack, never did anything to her! He never even met her! He wasn’t even around at the time, he wasn’t alive, for his given value of living! He’s more than within his rights to absolve himself of the guilt. But if he does that, if he’s a bystander offering condolences, that means he’s talking to a stranger right now. If he absolves himself of the guilt, if he stands aside from the horrors Jack 1.0 is responsible for… then he’s got no claim to any of the good memories, either. He never lost a daughter ‘cause he never had one. He was never married, he never ran Hyperion, he had nothing, he was nothing till he got sparked into consciousness when Rhys jammed a data drive into his cybernetics. He’s not Handsome Jack. He’s not any Jack. He’s just a confused collection of ones and zeroes, a digital ghost mixed up in old memories he doesn’t know what to do with. She’s a stranger to him, and he’s no-one and nothing to her, and he’s got no business talking to her, and none of this has any meaning. Well. Fuck that. “Angel. I’m sorry for what I did to you. I’m so sorry, baby. You deserved so much better than that. So much better than me. So much better than this bullshit apology. I mean, it’s not all bullshit, ‘cause I mean every word, but it’s still bullshit ‘cause it can’t fix a thing. There’s nothing to be fixed. You’re— you’re gone, and it’s my fault. All of it. You did nothing wrong. It was all me. I never saw. I never understood. I left you with no choice. I’m sorry.”

So, in summary… in my many, many thousands of words of writing about AI Jack, I ask the question ‘but IS he Jack?’ many times, but I never answer it. It’s always up to AI Jack himself to decide. His feelings about it change a lot as time goes on, but ultimately, he accepts that his identity is a liminal space between ‘Handsome Jack’ and ‘Not Handsome Jack’. 

Is AI Jack the same person as Handsome Jack 1.0, or is he someone different?

Yes. 

[legomonkiefics]

Story of Mk where we sit him down and tell him to actually relax. Since this boy needs to have a relaxing day where he isn't stressing.

Maybe we put on Monkey Cop and do a movie marathon?

💛🍜 To Calm a Monkey Kid — MK x GN Reader Drabble 💛🍜

Genres: Fluff, mild hurt/comfort || He/they pronouns for MK, they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆˚｡⋆୨🍜୧⋆˚｡⋆✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

Having MK home for an extended period of time was usually very difficult. He was a delivery boy, local hero, and successor all at the same time. Suffice to say, home was something he was gradually seeing less and less of. And you weren't having one bit of it. It was all well and good that he was stopping Jin and Yin from messing with the city power and whatnot, but you were beginning to see how it affected them. Dark circles, droopy posture, a more unkempt appearance. Though MK always brushed it off with a smile and a wink, you knew them well enough to look past it. So when you got home one day, you began putting into motion a plan.

MK slid in hours later, closing the door behind them and sighing heavily. Their bandana was loose, hair ruffled, and body language slumped and heavy. As was consistent for the past few months, he looked an absolute wreck. "MK?" You called out, hearing the door closed from another room. MK shook off his exhaustion, quickly making their hair neat and rubbing his eyes. He bounded down the hallway, peeking in your shared bedroom to try and find you.

"Just got home! Where you at, baby?" They called. You came in from the bathroom, giving him a soft, concerned smile. He immediately wrapped you up, vibrant mask in full effect "There you are!". "How was your day?" You asked, immediately taking notice of how MK deflated just a bit. "Well- I'm not reaaally where I wanna be in my training, and the demons attacking today were pretty tough. And Pigsy's Noodles was just crawling with orders-" they listed off. Seeing you frown, MK immediately added, "But I'm fine! It's the end of the day now, so I'm good!". They felt a small hint of stress upon seeing your frown only deepen.

"Hey, hey, what's up? Did something happen?" He asked. "No, but... I'm worried about you" You admitted "You've been stretched thin these past few months. I can't remember the last time I saw you eat anything but noodles, and you're barely home". "I know" MK sighed, rubbing the back of their neck "But it's okay! I'll-"

"It's not okay" You interrupted, not rudely, but firmly "MK, I love you, and you cannot keep doing this to yourself. It's not healthy, honey. I don't want you to run yourself into the ground for other people". MK hung their head a bit, a look of guilt on their face. You gently rubbed their shoulder "I don't want to make you feel forced into anything, and I'll never ask you to give up your dream. But I need you to look out for yourself too, yeah? If you ever need my help, you can always ask". MK nodded, looking back up at you with a small smile, a genuine and vulnerable one this time "You're... right. You always are. It's just so hard with so much going on, y'know? I feel like I've got to be the Monkey Kid, all the time. But with you, I'm just... just Xiaotian"

"And that's an amazing thing" You said, gently kissing his forehead. He smiled wider, returning it by giving you a big kiss to the cheek. You chuckled, ruffling his messy hair "I've got a plan for us tonight, Xiao. Firstly, you gotta get all that hero stink off. Then we'll take it easy, as a first step to taking better care of yourself. Is that okay?". MK chuckled as well at the ruffling, looking at you with appreciative softness "Uh, yeah! Thank you so much, honeybee, I'll catch up in a sec". They gave you another big kiss to your face before picking up a new set of clothes and entering the bathroom.

As the successor cleaned, you prepped the rest of the room. Fluffed pillows, clean comforter, and all of MK's Monkey King cuddleable merch you could carry. You then sped off to the kitchen, picking up a tray of snacks you'd prepared. It didn't take long for MK to emerge again as clean, dressed in comfortable pajamas, with damp hair he was keeping down. They looked at the setup you'd finished as they were gone, glancing to the TV. Seeing what was on, their eyes brightened immensely and a broad grin came on his face.

They scrambled over, hopping into bed and crawling under the covers, causing you to have to catch the snack tray before it got tossed off. "No way!! You got Monkey Cop on DVD?!" They asked excitedly. You sat in beside him, scooting close to his side "It's a DVD set, actually. All the movies are in the box". MK flapped his hands excitedly, trying not to kick too much since he was easily getting tangled in the covers. "Yesss!! Are you finally gonna watch them all with me?" They asked, looking to you like an excited dog. You laughed a little, wrapping an arm around them and pressing your cheeks together "Absolutely. I think it's about time, yeah?"

MK scooped up the remote, quickly starting rhe first movie. He turned off the lights, snuggling down into the covers as he began munching from the bowl of popcorn you'd brought. You leaned into their shoulder as they kept an arm around you, seeing as the movie opened up. MK nuzzled the top of your head. "Thanks for this, babe. I really needed it". You smiled, nuzzling into them into return "No problem. You can come to me whenever, I'll always help you out"

With that, you two cuddled up more, wrapped in a bundle of blankets. MK moved his arm to where he could hold your hand, petting your fingers affectionately with his thumb as he watch the cheesy cop film with you. He made a promise to himself internally in that moment. Days like this, times like these with you, were what he was fighting for the most

[whumpy-wyrms]

cannot stop thinking about how whumpy it must’ve been when i was given the anesthesia and passed out earlier. like even before the laughing gas i was SHAKING and TREMBLING in fear i fucking HATE needles. but i was also smiling the whole time because my fear response isn’t fight flight fawn or freeze it’s just. to laugh. for some reason. anyway after i got the laughing gas i was smiling and giggling even more and also shaking a lot more in both fear of what was gonna happen and also probably the laughing gas. they told me to take deep breaths which i did, still freaking out though. i started panicking even more when they put the IV in my arm, like wow that was horrifying i must’ve looked sooooo scared wooow.. so much fear.. (whumpers you know where to find me). anyway i eventually followed their advice and took deep breaths, knowing that it would make the laughing gas effect me quicker, but i did it anyway because its all i could do.

(more under the cut because i couldn’t shut up and this got long)

and guys. guys. THEN. then i started thinking about Anton and imagining i was his test subject and he was just doing an experiment on me and let me tell you. the way pure CALMNESS just WASHED over my entire body. like before i walked into the room i was like “anton save mee save me anton haha lol”. and then anton DID save me. in a way. but yeah i mean i KNEW that would happen because thinking about anton literally always calms me down anyway but i just thought that was funny lmao. woow

okay so then they injected me with the anesthesia. i don’t think i really felt it. then they put a rubber thing in my mouth to keep it wide open, and i was just thinking “haha wow they gagged me that’s gotta be one of my favorite whump tropes.” i just stared straight ahead (i couldn’t really turn my head anyway with the way the chair was set up), struggling hard to keep my eyes open, breathing really deeply, barely able to form a coherent thought.

i do NOT remember falling asleep. like one moment i was sitting there eyes wide and breathing heavily, staring at the doctors on either side of me, and the next i was like all woozy flopping around in the chair, head lolling to the side as the doctors were telling me to wake up. it was sort of a blur, i had NO idea what was going on at ALL. i remember slurring as i talked, telling the doctors i wanted to keep my wisdom teeth. they laughed and asked why and i just kept repeating that i wanted them to let me keep them (they did let me keep them! i’m gonna put them in a little jar like a mad scientist). then i kept asking for my phone and they gave it to me. they put me in a wheelchair to take me to the car because i could NOT walk, i was stumbling around, completely unable to stand or sit up straight, and when we got to the car i just flopped into the passenger seat like i was DIZZY. and i was also a bit nauseous. blood in my mouth and all that. oh i also had gauze in my mouth which definitely made talking a lot more difficult

so i really barely talked, i don’t think i said much else which i’m kinda happy for because i was high as FUCK and did not wanna ramble about a bunch of weird oc lore to my mom. i KNOW i would’ve talked about anton and/or silas nonstop. but i just went on my phone instead which is when i made all those posts from earlier LOL. those typos were genuinely not on purpose at all. i could not type. i’m being fully serious.

here’s a screenshot from my discord server of me attempting to type “holy shit i can’t type.” and as you can see, it was, well, TRUE

anyway yeah i just curled up in my seat on the car ride home, i wasn’t on my phone much because i was still really tired and it was hard to keep my eyes open and stay awake. the car seat was leaned back really far so i was laying down and could not see out of the car windows (but my eyes were closed so it didn’t really matter). but i just remember feeling every turn of the car and trying to guess where we were driving as if i was a whumpee who’d just been kidnapped and was trying to memorize the directions. as you can tell i knew this situation would be whumpy as fuck and didn’t hesitate to make a bunch of silly connections.

so then we got home and there’s not much else that happened. i just took a lot of pills and washed out my mouth and put more gauze in and then went to sleep. it didn’t hurt that much at all because of. the drugs and stuff. i slept for a long time and woke up feeling back to normal, in the way i wasn’t high af anymore. yeah so now my mouth kinda hurts but i have painkillers so it’s fine. i ate lasagna like 20 minutes ago. i’m probably not supposed to eat lasagna. i did it anyway (i took very very teeny tiny nibbles it was very basil core).

anyway that’s it i think! dunno why i wanted to share this whole experience but i thought it was kinda funny the way i kept finding whump in everything hahaha (like i said, my actual fear response is literally to LAUGH and GIGGLE at everything in fear. this needs to be used more in this community imo. and i think… i have a new oc for that actually…. teehee….. ominous.. very ominous dot dot dots…..)

but really this isn’t as bad as i thought it’d be. it’s gonna suck to eat a bunch of soft food and stuff but overall it’s not bad. at least for me. obviously this was only my experience and everyone’s will be different. i do kinda see the humor in everything whenever i’m in a bad or painful situation so that might also be why this is easier for me, idk! hope u all found this at least a little entertaining because i know i did haha

[vroomvroomvroommf]

A lot of people are going to be VERY frustrated with Lando and Oscar for different reasons but the boys drove a great race. I have many thoughts (Mostly about the Mclaren boys):

Lando had a great start and Oscar had a BEAUTIFUL overtake. I can’t blame Oscar for trying to win and I can’t blame Lando for being disappointed with p3.

Unfortunate that they both had to go with a 2 stop and that gave Charles the opportunity to grab that win. There are many more races to come and I’m sure many victories.

I LOVE that Mclaren let them race but today should’ve looked a lot different and Mclaren managed to throw away a 1-2 yet again due to strategy and not being able to make difficult decisions. I know Andrea Stella doesn’t want a number 1 driver and in 90% of cases I agree. But in the context of the WDC there should have been a priority to maximize a points finish for Lando AT LEAST for today especially with how far down rb were. Oscar absolutely drove brilliantly but there is a 0% chance of him winning the WDC this year- there is a (while unlikely) chance Lando could win this year and I can’t help but be disappointed that Mclaren have basically thrown that away today just because they want to seem “fair”. I can’t help but feel there may be some double standards in place at Mclaren.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i will never understand how or why the httyd movies did the books such an injustice.

the movies aren't even an adaptation - they stole the name of the series, the name of some of the characters and places, and the general idea that there are dragons. honestly, i would be fine with the movies and maybe even like them if they didn't capitalize off of cressida cowell's incredible books that never get any credit.

the books are an amazing story about the cycle of violence and how vengeance and revenge is dangerous. hiccup says that the past is a ghost story, one we need to learn from to better ourselves. the books are about how everyone deserves freedom, how every creature, every being on the earth deserves to be free. we see that in the slavemark, with the dragons.

and like... hiccup is so different. they did him a severe injustice. he's scrawny and intelligent and learned to talk to dragons simply by observing them! he chooses kindness first above all else; instead of yelling at toothless to train him, he is kind. and in the end, that kindness is why toothless chose to save him. bc even toothless himself says that dragons are inherently selfish creatures who care only for their survival. hiccup is brave - his beliefs differ drastically from both the vikings and the world.

hiccup is a child who chose to do the right thing even at the expense of himself. he agreed to free the slaves on nobert's ship, and in return, they gave him the slavemark which is easy to give but cannot be removed. he was like twelve. and having the slavemark means he cannot be with his tribe or his family, it means he isn't considered a human being anymore. and he keeps it a secret for awhile until it's revealed and when it is everyone turns their backs on hiccup. his family, his tribe, his mentor, people he TRUSTED. everyone except fishlegs, and, once she got over the shock, camicazi. he was thirteen. and even when he lost his memories and was really injured, he persisted. he was told to go to tomorrow and to save the dragons and he did bc in his heart he knew it was right even though he didn't know who he was or how he got there.

and fishlegs,,, oh my god FISHLEGS!!! the did him SO DIRTY!!! fishlegs is hiccup's best friend, one of the main motivators for hiccup. he steals norbert's potato for the sake of fishlegs, he gives fishlegs his dragon and goes to retrieve another, he takes the blame for fishlegs. and fishlegs does the same for him. he takes the slavemark with pride. he refuses to turn. he gives hiccup his lobster claw necklace which is his most prized possession. he is brave for hiccup, he believes hiccup is alive. he fights for hiccup harder than anyone else ever has. he does not turn. his is loyal, has allergies, has asthma, has a squint and a limp, has glasses bc he's blind without them... and he's still a hero despite being a runt, despite everyone even the adults telling him he's hopeless, telling hiccup to leave him behind.

and they cut camicazi! i'm sorry, but astr*d is nothing compared to camicazi. camicazi is a tiny, feral child who can easily best hiccup, fishlegs, and pretty much anyone in a sword fight. she can bring a grown man to tears with her rudery and smack talk. she is recklessly brave and craves adventure and follows hiccup blindly bc she trusts him that much. she isn't in love with hiccup - in fact she doesn't care about romance and love. she gives up everything to help hiccup bc she has a strong sense of justice. she is the motivator, the cheerleader, she finds a positive in everything. she never gives up. literally never gives up. and that's one of the most inspiring things about her: she always has hope.

and toothless! god!!! toothless is *thought to be* a common or garden dragon. he is horrifically tiny, he is literally toothless, and is the biggest brat in the world. he will cause problems on purpose. he has a stutter, he's the most selfless selfish dragon around. he and hiccup can talk to each other. he masks his fear with singing and being annoying. his growth is remarkable. he starts off refusing to obey hiccup, doing the opposite of what he says, making life harder for literally everyone around him, and he's still somewhat like that. but he's also braver, more caring, more willing to make sacrifices for the sake of others. he's clever, which he needs to be to make up for his size and aggression. he protects hiccup with everything he has, therefore, he protects what hiccup cares about just as hard. he was the only dragon that didn't abandon the vikings in the first book bc he cared about hiccup.

and snotlout,,, god,,, i will never forgive the movies for butchering snotlout. hiccup's cousin, the bully character, the one who is horrifically jealous that hiccup's dad was born before his. the one who desperately wants to prove himself, to be worthy, to make people proud. and you hate him, you despise him. he betrays everyone many times bc of the nothing promised to him by alvin and his mom. he loses himself, turns his back on himself, all bc he wants to prove himself. all bc he wants to be better than hiccup. and hiccup still forgives him and gives him chances, sometimes out of pity, but also bc snotlout is his cousin. he can't just turn his back on him no matter how miserable snotlout made his life. and in the end, snotlout sacrifices himself for hiccup. he gives up his life for hiccup in one last attempt to set things right. his death and the events preceding it are one of my absolute favorite moments in the book. gives me chills. makes me cry.

that's the thing with the books - they're so realistic. there is no inherently happy ending where everything works out. the first book begins with "there were dragons when i was a boy", implying that they're gone now. the books show there are consequences to our actions. they enslaved the dragons, they fought against them during the dragon rebellion all bc alvin and his mom said to, and now they're gone bc a simple apology doesn't fix hundreds of years of enslavement. and the only way for the world to move forward was for the dragons to leave and heal on their own. and now they have to learn to live without them. and yeah i've heard the third movie ends like that but. it doesn't have the build up. it doesn't have "there were dragons when i was a boy". it doesn't have eleven books of development to back it up, to make it feel meaningful.

i know that the movies are really special to a lot of people. i know that, on their own, they're genuinely good movies. i can acknowledge that the soundtrack is amazing and the animation is beautiful. i just can't see past the way they butchered the world that i love, the world that i grew up with. i can't see past the way people yelled at me for saying i liked the books better, the way that people gave me weird looks when i showed them a picture of the original toothless, when i tell them that nightfuries aren't even a type of dragon. cressida cowell created hundreds of different dragons, and the movies couldn't even pick from that. i can't forgive the way that barely anyone knows there are books bc the movie barely gives credit to them. i cannot forgive the way they capitalized off the books and then shoved them aside. i know cressida thinks they're good movies and i know a lot of httyd book fans also like them. but i just... i cannot get over how much they changed and how they missed so much and ignored the books. also they got rid of camicazi so hiccup could have a love interest and that is unforgivable to me.

if you disagree, that is a-okay. we're all entitled to our own opinions. i just ask that you, perhaps, try the books out. give them a chance. bc they're amazing works of art and also just like. don't yell at people who don't like the movies? whether it's bc they prefer the books or just aren't into that kind of movie. and just remember that dreamworks didn't come up with the story; cressida cowell did.

[heliomanteia]

Organizing & contamination OCD Will Solace 🤝🏼 OCPD Annabeth Chase friendship forever in my head.

[vehemourn]

went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3