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bluerosewrites · 6 years ago

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For writing ask thing: could you do irondad and 10?

10. "Come here, you need a hug"

Tony knew from the second his Spiderkid walked through the door of the lab that something was wrong. But the stubborn Spiderling wasn't responding to the usual tactics.

Peter had dropped his backpack with more energy than necessary, and his eyebrows were knitted into a fierce scowl. He refused to meet Tony's eyes and gave only non-committal, one word answers to the inquiries the mechanic made.

Tony sighed but left the kid to stew while they worked. He could hear tools being dropped with less care than normal, and muttering of oaths under breaths as the kid worked on his web-shooters. Finally, he had enough.

"Alright, that's it, kid, c'mere," Tony said, an edge creeping into his voice. He just wanted to help, and his kid wasn't letting him.

Peter let out a dramatic sigh and dropped the tools he was working with. He dragged himself over to the other side of the lab, eyes trained on the floor.

"What is it, Spiderbaby?" Tony began, hoping the nickname might get enough rise out of the boy that he'd respond with more than one syllable this time. He wasn't disappointed.

"Mr. STARK! I'm NOT a baby!" Peters eyes finally met Tony's, and the mechanic was trying hard not to laugh at the reaction he'd gained from the kid. His kid.

"Oh, yeah?" Tony crossed his arms over his chest in mock annoyance as the kid's hands remained clenched into fists. "Could have fooled me. You're doing a pretty damn good impression of one."

Peter rolled his eyes with a sigh. "You don't get it, Mr. Stark," clenched fists were released in favor of the kid running his hands through his unkempt curls.

Tony leaned toward the kid, their foreheads almost touching. "Oh, yeah? Try me."

"It's just.... aughhh... I don't even know how to put it in words... But, like, everything is just so HARD and everything I do I SUCK at and no one understands. I'm doing my best but there's so much more I could be doing and I'm not and I still have these damn nightmares and I'm so TIRED and it just piles on and then Flash or somebody will do or say something and I--" the words spilled out of Peter like a river overflowing a dam. He didn't know how to say there was simultaneously nothing and everything wrong, all at once. That he didn't feel he was living up to his potential but he didn't know how. That he was just in survival mode.

"Oh, kid," Tony breathed. "Hey, can you open your eyes?" Peter didn't realize he'd squeezed his eyes shut during his rant until he heard Tony's request. He complied, and his tear-filled eyes met the mechanic's own. Tony unfolded his arms and his hands made their way to Peter's head, one cupping the kid's chin and the other gently tousling his curls.

"Now, I want you to listen to me," the billionaire began, "You are an incredible person that I am priveleged to know. And I know it's hard living two lives. But you don't ever have to feel like you're not living up to your potential, okay?" Tony's hands fell to his knees as the kid's chin dropped and he stared at the floor once more. Tony frowned briefly before continuing in a lighter tone, "I mean, unless you suddenly start not being able to beat Cap at pizza-eating or something. THEN we might have a problem."

Tony was relieved to hear laughter coming from the Spiderkid as Peter raised his gaze to Tony's once more. The kid swiped the back of his hand across his nose. "You mean it? I'm ok just being who I am?"

Tony set his hand on the kid's shoulder. "More than okay, kid. There's nothing you could do that would make me not want to be here for you. And I want to hear about what's going on in your life. Whether it's Flash or what happened on patrol or how MJ is giving you hell at decathlon practice," Tony pretended not to notice the fresh blush staining the kid's cheeks at the mention of Michelle, "I wanna hear about everything. Nightmares and all."

Peter felt a small smile begin to form on his face. "Really?" He asked his mentor softly in disbelief.

"Really, really," the mechanic replied. "Now, come here, you need a hug."

Peter swiped a hand across his wet cheeks and runny nose before practically launching himself into the billionaire's arms. Tony let out a small chuckle as he gathered the teen into his arms, carding his fingers through the boy's curls. The pair just sat there for a while, Peter curling into his mentor as the latter continued to soothe the teen.

Tony pressed his lips to the top of Peter's curls before drawing back to better look at the teen, "Now, I don't think we're going to get anything else done in here, what do you say to some hot cocoa and a movie? Say... One of the Star Wars films you love so much?"

Peter's head shot up from the mechanic's shoulder, almost clipping him in the chin as he did so, "Well with good reason! George Lucas is a GENIUS. Can we do a marathon? Ooh should we start from the chronological beginning or the cinematic one?" Peter continued his musings as he popped up onto his feet and began gesticulating wildly.

Tony tousled the kid's curls with a wry chuckle. "Let's start with one, bambino, and see where we get. But we can order in some food and make it a real party. Whatcha feeling? Pizza? Chinese? Shawarma?"

Peter stopped his pacing with a wicked grin. "Is it possible to have all three? I am a growing boy after all,"

Tony laughed as the pair made their way to the elevator. He slung an arm around Peter's shoulders. "Whatever you want, kid, Lord knows I can afford to feed you." He pressed the button for the right floor with a grin, saying, "We might need to call in reinforcements to finish all that food, though."

Peter rolled his eyes. "I thought you had faith in me, Mr. Stark!"

"Oh, I do," the mechanic replied, "But if the rest of the team finds out we're having a marathon without them?" Tony shakes his head. " No, better to invite them and order extra food." The pair laugh at the thought, knowing Tony's right.

The elevator slows, reaching the destination. "Thanks, Mr. Stark," says Peter softly. "For everything."

He isn't sure Tony heard him until he heard an equally soft, "Anytime, kid."

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Hope you liked it @romeoandjulietyouwish! Thanks for the ask, I appreciate you!

I'm tempted to turn this into more, I can see there being shenanigans at the movie marathon. Let me know what you guys think!

#irondad #spiderson #tony stark #peter parker #peter parker needs a hug #ask #blue rose writes #mine #drabble

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thesarcasticramen · 7 years ago

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Rain Rain Go Away (Come Again Another Day)

Adrien Agreste hated the rain.

He hated the way that the once bright blue sky would be concealed by gray clouds. He hated the cold that was brought on by the change of climate and the wet of being showered. He hated how it dampens a what could be wonderful chance to bathe in sunlight and how it slows down the pacing of the day. He knew what people thought of him. He knew that they think he's incapable of the word "hate" because he likes to find the silver lining in almost everything. Unfortunately, he is capable of loathing after all because he definitely can't find a silver lining on a rainy day. Maybe it's due to his jaded perception, but frankly, there just isn't one.

Adrien Agreste hated the rain because it was raining the day his father entered his room, looking the most horrified and devastated he has ever seen. He could still remember that day like it was yesterday: the slow and calculated steps his father made towards him, the icy lost expression in his eyes, and the words that shattered Adrien's life forever. Adrien Agreste hated the rain because it was raining when his world tilted upside down. It was raining the day his mother disappeared.

Years later, he thought he could move past it but he can't. His relationship with his father detoriated further and so did his relationship with the rain.

When he received the black cat miraculous, he found a ticket to his freedom. It may grant him only temporary occassions but if he was given the chance to breathe and leave his depressing life behind even for just a few hours, he jumped at it. So when he donned the mask, he was no longer Adrien Agreste, the broken boy with the perfect image, he was Chat Noir, the hero of Paris.

He loved saving people, serving his city alongside the love of his life. He loved being free from the confinement of his prison of a mansion and the restraints of his reputation and responsibilities as a teen model. He loved being with the miraculous Ladybug who accepted him for his flawed persona. He loved being able to jump from one building to another, laughing without a care in the world, throwing all his problems out of the window and actually live. He loved the priveleges that was tied to the ring but all of those things still did nothing about his hatred for the rain. He still abhors it with every fiber of his being. In fact, more so now that he seems to manifest some parts of a cat's nature and one of them is not being a fan of water.

Chat Noir hated the rain because that was the day that Ladybug looked sadly but straight in the eye and crushed his heart. After a particularly difficult akuma that they managed to handle but without a series of unfortunate mistakes and failures, they got into a fight. It was a battle even bigger than the one they just had. With three remaining pads on his ring and three spots on his lady's earrings, they faced each other in a heated argument.

"You should've stuck with the plan!" Ladybug fumed.

"If I did, you could've gotten hurt! I wouldn't know how to live with myself if I let that happen," he defended himself.

"But we put a lot more people in danger because you chose to abandon your post and catch that hit for me." He was about to say something but she refused to listen to him. "No Chat! Getting hurt is all part of being a superhero. When I accepted my miraculous, I also accepted that part of the job."

"But milady—" She didn't get it. She just didn't get it, did she?

"Chat, you have to stop being self-sacrificial and think before you leap. You can't just mess with the plan and run into your improvised ideas headfirst—"

"I was just trying to protect you!"

"Well, I don't need your protection!" She snapped angrily and that's when Chat Noir flinched at the harshness and the edge of her voice, a sudden constriction seizing his chest and there was a prick in his eyes and a lump in his throat. (Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.)

Of course, she didn't need protection. She was strong, she was smart and she was amazing with or without his idiocy, possibly better without. What made him think he was actually needed?

None of them spoke for a little while until his ring beeped and her earrings followed. Ladybug sighed and softened when he brought his head down in defeat (and shame and shame and shame). Chat tensed when he felt her hand land on his shoulder and he refused to meet her gaze. He didn't want to see any more of her disappointment.

"Chat," she called softly, the gentleness that she used whenever she comforted him returning. His heart would've fluttered if she used that voice when she was talking to him any other day but now, he's soaked in the rain and his heart was throbbing painfully instead. "Hey, I know you were just looking out for me and I appreciate it. But...Paris needs your protection more than I do. What I need, is your trust and support."

Chat nodded solemnly and swallowed but the lump remained. Ladybug squeezed his shoulder, making him look up at her and she smiled. "Besides, nobody makes a better team than we do, remember?" she giggled, hoping to ease the tension between them. It was the most wonderful sound he has ever heard.

When their miraculouses beeped again, Ladybug smiled and walked towards the edge of the roof that they were standing on. Chat Noir watched her with his fists shaking and his heart rampaging. It's not fair. She doesn't understand. Can't she see that— "I'm in love with you!"

Chat Noir bit his tongue and immediately regretted saying that aloud. Ladybug almost slipped at his sudden confession but she stopped from her tracks and froze. Chat Noir never felt truer terror at the silence that reigned after his impulsive action. Stupid! He shouldn't have said that! A part of him rejoiced for finally coming clean and hoping that now she knows that all his flirting and endearments and protection for her are all just fruit of his feelings for her. Because Chat Noir is hopelessly head-over-heels in love with Ladybug, and there's all that there is to it.

Ladybug spun and maybe it was just the rain blurring his view or making the mood dramatic and bleak but Chat Noir felt his heart sink when he stared at her cerulean blue eyes—eyes that were always full of wonder and hope that he loved the most—which held nothing but sadness in them. After a few seconds of opening and closing her mouth, she struck the final blow of a rainy day. "I'm sorry Chat Noir."

Chat Noir stood there, watching as his beloved leaped away leaving him alone on the roof, tears falling, body shivering, and heart cracked in two.

After the rejection, Adrien became open to how he despised the rain. The week that followed was the worst one he ever had. His signature smile replaced by a somber face that almost made everybody think he was mourning for somebody's death. (He was mourning for his heart.) He went on with his day like a zombie and he knew about all the worried glances that his classmates and friends threw at him. He dodged Nino's questions, Alya's journalistic skills, and Chloe's attempts of "cheering him up." Plagg was sympathetic and kept his nagging to a minimum. He loved his chosen and it hurts him to see Adrien hurting like this. Still, he kept his mouth shut about his knowledge because his meddling with mortals' love lives will earn nothing but Tikki's fury.

Friday came and even his teachers had given up on trying to know what was going on with him. They were dismissed for the day and he was packing his things, already itching to transform and run across rooftops for the rest of the day, when somebody bumped into his back that almost made him topple over if it weren't for the desk in front of him.

"Eek!" somebody squeaked. "I'm s-so sorry Adrien! I d-didn't mean to jump you—I mean, b-bump into you!"

Adrien turned around and saw a very flushed and stuttering Marinette behind him as she profusely apologized. "I-It's just that I'm so clumsy and you're right in front of me—I-I'm not saying i-it's your fault! You're amazing! I-I mean no! I-I mean yes! B-But I tripped! A-And I really hope I didn't hurt you—"

Her eyes widened. "O-Oh no! I didn't hurt you right?! I didn't leave any marks on your gorgeous face—I mean normal face that will make you miss photoshoots? A-Are you okay? I'm so so so sorry! I r-really didn't see you and—crap, i-if your dad wants to press charges, it's okay—"

Adrien quickly reassured her with a small smile. "Hey, it's fine Marinette. I'm okay and there's absolutely no need to talk about pressing charges. It was just an accident." He closed his messenger bag and wore the strap. "How about you? Are you okay? Nothing broken?" he asked, half-teasingly and half-worriedly.

He noticed how Marinette blushed a darker red and started to stutter again until she settled for a nod and a wide abashed smile. Adrien almost forgot about what he wanted to do that afternoon. His classmate never failed to amuse him. "Wanna walk together?" he offered.

Marinette flailed her arms everywhere in panic and Adrien didn't know if it was something he did or said that made her act like that. He wasn't oblivious to the different treatment that he received from Marinette and most of the time, he's bothered by it. He hoped that they were past the bubblegum incident and she no longer disliked him. Maybe it was because of who his father was and who he was. After all, Marinette was an aspiring fashion designer. Whatever the reason was, he just didn't want it to get in the way of a wonderful friendship with the class representative.

Adrien was about to duck inside the car parked in front after bidding Marinette a quick goodbye when Marinette stopped him. "A-Adrien, wait!"

Curious, Adrien turned his attention back to her. Did he forget something? Marinette took a deep breath and a look of determination took over her gaze that seemed strikingly familiar to Adrien. Where did he see that expression before?

"W-We couldn't help but notice that you seem to be going through something right now a-and...I just want you to know that we're all here for you. You can always talk to any of us, t-to me," Marinette said with a sincere smile.

For the first time that week, Adrien felt happy, felt loved. Somebody cared for him. A smile tugged at his lips and it was probably the biggest one he had shown since the rejection. "Thanks Marinette. You're such a great friend."

The peace didn't last. There was an akuma attack the same day. Despite the dread that was gnawing at his gut at the idea of seeing his la—partner even if it has been days. Adrien shook his head and transformed. He was a superhero for crying out loud. He can't just abandon his duty to his city just because of a heartbreak.

They were a mess. He kept as much distance from Ladybug as he could and they had trouble communicating. Ladybug sensed the air around him but didn't say a word about it. If they used to work like a well-oiled machine, then they appear to be more of a busted engine now. Still, they managed to save the day. He was about to make an exit when Ladybug held her fist out for their traditional victory fist bump and looked at him expectantly.

Chat Noir knew he had every right to turn his head away and leave. He was still getting over her "I'm sorry." He had the right to space and time. A selfish part of him told him that she deserved to feel the same pain of being rejected to let her know how it felt when she stabbed him in the heart.

But he loved Ladybug as much as he loved Paris. They can't afford to put their people at risk just because he was still pouting about his unrequited crush. He can't afford to lose an incredible friendship with one of his best friends either. Even if it seems impossible, he has to move on and settle with the fact that she'll never see and love him the way he wanted. So, smiling (and trying to ignore the pang), he bumped his fist with hers. Her bright smile was so blinding and he wanted to hit himself for still being weak in the knees for it. He nodded a farewell and leapt away, the load lesser than before.

They were going to be okay.

That night, after recharging Plagg, he was enjoying an evening of a solo patrol. He wanted some time alone to think and just enjoy the breeze and lights. He had no place in mind and let his feet take him wherever they could until he spotted a recognizable pair of blue pigtails and pink pants. He halted and her words earlier that day echoed inside his mind. "Maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to take her up on her offer," he whispered.

She was immersed in her sketchbook with her tongue out the corner of her mouth, a thing she does when she's deep in concentration that he found adorable. A steaming mug of hot chocolate and a plate of half-finished sweets were in front of her. Chat Noir watched her for a little bit longer, not knowing how to approach his classmate. Would it be too unusual and creepy for him to show up out of the blue?

Oh, what was he doing? Marinette was Adrien's friend. He was Chat Noir now and he only had very few interactions with the girl. But Chat Noir was also her friend, right? He never recalled a time when Marinette turned him away, or anyone at all. (She was that amazing.) Maybe this was a bad idea. Chat Noir looked at Marinette one last time. She hasn't noticed him yet. He should probably go because last time he checked, this could be considered stalking, and stalking was illegal.

Marinette screamed when she found a set of glowing green eyes in the dark watching her after she heard a sneeze from above. Chat Noir screamed as well before he lost his balance in surprise and fell onto the balcony in a loud thud. Both of them were in the state of hysteria, Marinette demanding answers on what he was doing there and Chat Noir spouting explanations and excuses. If it weren't for Marinette's parents who knocked and checked on their daughter, they wouldn't have had calmed down.

A few minutes later, Chat Noir was sitting on the railing while Marinette was leaning against them. None of them spoke for a while until Marinette broke the silence.

"So..."

Chat Noir scratched the back of his head, sheepishly. "I'm really really sorry Marinette. I didn't mean to spy on you and startle you. I just saw you while I was patrolling and decided to drop by."

Marinette smiled and accepted this. "To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from a superhero of Paris?"

Chat Noir grinned at her and took her hand to drop a chaste kiss on the back of it. "Can't this cat visit his favorite civilian?"

Marinette rolled her eyes and Chat chuckled. He felt lighter. Marinette always had that magic touch with people. Though he never admitted it to anyone but she was someone who he drew comfort from. There was just something about her that made him gravitate towards her and he didn't mind one bit.

They spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing about random things. Marinette groaned at his puns and jokes while Chat Noir asked about her designs. For hours, they trapped themselves inside a bubble where he could forget about Ladybug, his whole life, and rainy days. Her company was just what he needed that night and it meant the world to him. When they decided to call it a night, Chat Noir pulled her in for a hug. When Marinette asked what it was for, Chat just squeezed her tighter and he hoped it delivered his gratitude.

The next week, Adrien's mood became better. He smiled a bit more and joined conversations with other people. His friends were glad to see that he's no longer brooding. He wasn't fully over Ladybug's rejection nor was his heart any close to healing but he basked in the warmth of Marinette's reminder. He was cared for and he was loved.

The next time he paid her a visit, he was being bugged by the possibility—the reality of Ladybug loving somebody else. There was another akuma attack that day. It was a girl who was pining over a guy and never had the courage to tell him until she was too late since the guy seemed to be interested with someone else. Chat Noir couldn't help but feel his heart twinge in hurt because he knew how she must've felt. He understood the feeling of feelings that are not reciprocated. He made a move to console her when Ladybug beat him to it. He was more than shocked. Why? Why her? She had no idea what the poor victim was going through. He was the one who could relate the most so why her?

"Loving somebody just sucks, doesn't it? It's the most wonderful feeling in the world yet it can give us great affliction at the same time. But isn't that how love works? Pain makes it a whole package. It's all about taking a leap of faith. It's going to hurt, like really really hurt but at the end of the day, we become stronger and wiser. Never stop yourself from loving and never fear pain because it will help you grow," Ladybug said.

"But how can you be sure it's worth it? How do you even know that?" the victim accused.

"I know how it feels like to love somebody far too unreachable. However, when it comes to love, everything is worth fighting for." The girl threw her arms around Ladybug and sobbed on her shoulder.

Chat Noir was confused. What just happened? He knew how empathetic Ladybug was but that...that was a spiel of somebody who talked from experience. How could she possibly know exactly how that girl felt, exactly how he felt? Was she inferring from how she thought he felt when he got rejected? How—

That was until he saw Ladybug's eyes and he knew he misinterpreted her. The look in her eyes mirrored his, it was of a longing soul and a broken heart. Everything clicked. She was in love with someone else.

That night, he was perched atop of a balcony, eyes cast forward but not really seeing. He couldn't admire the vast starry night sky and the tranquil streets. No, he was haunted by the sadness in Ladybug's eyes and the agonizing truth that she merely didn't have space for him in her heart because it was already taken by an unknown individual.

He fisted his hair and yanked at it in frustration, muffling a loud cry. Of course he never had a shot at her. He can't help but be jealous of the guy. Who was he to earn such devotion from the most incredible lady in all of Paris? Gritting his teeth, he hit his head against his knees. What did he have that he didn't? Clearly, he was the more meritorious candidate. What does a civilian have against a superhero? Chat Noir banged his head once more. Stupid. Ladybug wasn't that superficial.

Sighing, he loosened his hold on his hair and rested his forehead on his knees while breathing heavily. His closed his eyes to stop the stinging. Chat Noir vowed to let her go because he couldn't be selfish, he remembered. Ladybug's happiness would always be his top priority.

"Are you gonna keep sulking there or would you rather talk about it?"

Chat Noir stiffened and whipped his head behind him where he heard her. Even he had no clue that he was here again. Marinette was standing there in her pajamas and holding a tray with two mugs and a plate of cookies, levelling him with a concerned gaze. When he didn't answer, she placed the tray on the table and approached where he was.

"Hey Marinette," Chat Noir mumbled in greeting.

"Hey," she tucked the strands of her hair behind her ear as the wind blew. "Is everything okay?"

Mustering a smile, he nodded. "Yeah, nothing's got my whiskers in a knot."

"Are you sure?" she asked. He could hear the uncertainty in her voice though he doubted she believed that he was okay. Marinette had always been so perceptive. Chat didn't want to trouble her with his problems so he chose to grin and lie.

"Paw-sitive."

Marinette knowingly stared at him, waiting for him to give in but Chat Noir didn't change his mind. When that was the case, she smiled, an "It's okay, I understand." hidden in it. "Whatever you say. You hungry?"

Marinette walked back towards her chair. Chat Noir curiously peered over her form and saw the tray of inviting snacks. She picked up one mug and the plate and stretched it towards him. "Don't think I didn't see the way you've been eyeing my pastries last week."

As if on cue, Chat Noir's stomach rumbled and he scratched at the back of his head in embarrassment. Trying not to appear like a hyena, he accepted the treats with a grateful smile. That evening, he pushed the thought of Ladybug and her mystery crush to the back of his mind. He sat next to Marinette as they wordlessly drank in the view of the moon and the stars and relished in hot chocolate and chocolate-chip cookies. When he bowed thank you and good night (because hugging her was probably a little too much last time), she was the one who pulled him in an embrace, whispering, "When you feel like you have nowhere else to go, my balcony is always open for some stray cats."

Chat Noir would've been lying if he said that his heart didn't explode then and there and he didn't smile all the way back to the mansion. God, she was such a great friend.

Adrien loved Ladybug, he will always do, but he respected that it was time to be more of a partner and a friend to her and rid of his hopes of ever becoming more. During akuma attacks, he acted more professionally. He carried out with their plans and soon enough they regained their unity and coordination. If Ladybug noticed the change, he will never know.

Adrien hung out with his friends more, mostly Nino, Alya, and Marinette. He would make the most out of the time he was permitted by his father. Somehow, the four of them would always be down to just the two of them, Adrien and Marinette. Alya and Nino would oddly vanish without a trace. Adrien was fine with it, he wanted to get to know Marinette better but the latter was always awkward when it's just the two of them so he didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable. After his first two unannounced visits, he became a frequence to her residence anyway.

Although Marinette joked about how feeding a stray cat only urged it to keep coming back and how insufferable his puns and antics are, he knew that they both enjoyed each other's company. Marinette was a good listener, the best even. She always listened to whatever he had to say without prejudice and spoke sensitively and compassionately but full of depth and wisdom. There were times when Adrien was loaded with work and lessons that he was unable to come but Marinette didn't mind and listened to him vent the next time they were together. But when he insisted to come, he would end up passing out on Marinette's chair only to wake up with a blanket over him and food on the table. Marinette had a few extremely busy nights and over the weeks and months that they grew accustomed to the new normal, he would hang out in her room. Sometimes, he would give her the space to focus, but sometimes, due to boredom, he would annoy her and she would have to kick him out and put him in the time-out zone (the balcony where bad kitties belong).

Chat Noir never felt more at home than at Marinette's. He was never hungry and he would pretend to complain about losing his godlike figure but Marinette would just shove food in his mouth to shut him up. Maybe it was because of the ironically huge but confining room or the dull interior of the mansion or just living with an estranged and detached father that made the bakery ooze with so much warmth and life. He loved being at Marinette's because whenever he was with her, he was his most authentic self. He thought that when he became Chat Noir, he was free but when he was with his princess, that's when he truly was free.

They could talk to each other about everything. It took a while but he opened up about his parents and lonely home life, his suffocation from always being in the spotlight, and his bad days. He listened to her gush and lament about her crush (who was missing out big time by the way) and rant about her dilemmas, supported and praised her whenever she showed him her designs, and frowned whenever she would slip up about some of her insecurities. The more time they spent with each other, they got to delve deeper into each other's character, see one another's quirks and faults, hear each other's stories.

Plagg didn't want to admit it but he adored Marinette. She obviously loved both sides of his chosen and she took good care of him. The kid deserved all the love in the universe. (Okay, and maybe because she spoils him with cheese whenever he needs to recharge.)

Chat Noir knew how dangerous their little rendezvous nights were becoming. Plagg gave him the wake up call. There was a supervillain out to get his head and getting close to a powerless and vulnerable civilian puts her in a precarious situation. He tried to give Marinette a way out before she gets caught up in peril because of him.

"Marinette, Hawkmoth—"

"He won't."

"But getting close to me practically paints a huge target on your back. If anything were to happen to you...I can't—"

Marinette smiled and held his hand. "I have you. I have nothing to be scared of."

Chat Noir almost teared up when she told him how much this meant to her. And to hear her put so much trust in him made him melt. Chat Noir made up his mind that nothing was to harm Marinette Dupain-Cheng without killing him first.

They kept their meet ups under the radar. He didn't mention her with Ladybug and Marinette did the same with everybody. At first, it was hard. Adrien would forget that he's out of the suit and interact with Marinette the same way only Chat Noir would. But he got the hang of it. Adrien was a little disappointed and found himself wanting for Marinette to act around Adrien the same way she should with Chat. With Chat, she was bold, sassy, and witty. With Adrien, she was all blushing and stuttering. Maybe someday she would eventually warm up to Adrien, but for now, he's more than happy to keep the real Marinette all to his Chat Noir self. Cats can be territorial after all. ("Kid, you're literally the same person." "Shut up Plagg.")

Chat Noir will always love Ladybug, but now, he could proudly say that he was honored to be her partner and actually be okay staying in the friendzone. She was his first love and he will never regret falling in love with her. But it was a taboo topic whenever he was at Marinette's. Weirdly, it was what brought him together with her yet he did his best to never bring the heroine up. He didn't know why. He talked to her about his hardest struggles yet it seemed to be something that he just couldn't bring himself to disclose it with Marinette. He's not planning to keep it from her forever, but there's a right time for it to happen. He just didn't expect it to happen in a weather he was not very fond of.

Adrien Agreste hated the rain. As Chat Noir, even more so. It was because of the rain that Adrien got sick. It was because of the rain that made it just terrible for Chat Noir to fight in his state. A slight fever, an akuma attack and rain? Yeah, now that's a recipe for Adrien's worst day ever. Luckily, the duo stopped the akuma quicker than they usually did. After their fist bump, Chat Noir was ready to go home and burrow himself in his bed for the rest of the weekend but Ladybug placed a gloved hand on his shoulder and another on his cheek.

"Chat, are you okay?" she asked, worry evidently laced in her voice. Recently, she had become a little touchy with him. (They're platonic, he would convince himself.) Chat Noir noted that she still had an effect on him but not as strong as before.

He grinned at her soothingly to brush off her alarm. "I'm as right as rain milady." The nickname stuck and now it was just second nature for him to call her that. He sneezed and that didn't really help his case.

"Chat Noir, you're sick—"

Chat stepped away from Ladybug's scrutiny and winked. "Nothing a little cat nap won't fix. I'll cat-ch you later Ladybug!" He jumped faster than she could call his name.

Sleep wasn't much of a friend to Adrien that night either. For for the third time since he got the chance to faceplant on his bed and close his eyes, he was awoken by another nightmare that had left him covered in sweat yet shuddering in the cold. His screams bounced off the walls that Nathalie barged into his room the first time it happened. He excused it to watching too many horror movies to which she raised an eyebrow at and admonished him. She told him that she was going to log out and head home already and if he needed anything, she was on-call.

His third nightmare sent him to madness. Groggy with trepidation, he grabbed the nearest black jacket and woke up Plagg to transform. The kwami tried to talk sense into him but he was too stubborn and too shaken to listen. He needed solace, he needed warmth, he needed home, he needed Marinette.

Opening one panel of his glass windows, he dove into the night and hissed when he realized that it hadn't ceased raining. There was no moon that shone on his path. If it weren't for his night vision, he would've might as well plunged into pitch black. He stumbled several times and almost slipped from one of the rooftops but he kept propelling himself forward fuelled by a surge of adrenaline and necessity. His eyes were glassy and irritated, his throat itchy and aching, his nose congested and stuffy and his head spinning. The droplets that drenched his whole being projected flashbacks in his mind, his most painful memories, his nightmares. Must...get...away...

When he discerned the outline of the familiar balcony, he sprinted faster. He clicked his baton and it extended, catapulting him towards it. The wind slapped the skin of his face that was exposed and that's when all the strength he had seemed to wear off and his bones to melt. He smacked against the concrete floor and he groaned as the bullets of water landed directly on his face now. He attempted to push himself up but he was nothing but a sack of potatoes. Dark spots clouded his vision and he was ready to drown in slumber.

He was home and that was all that mattered.

---

this turned out to be longer than I expected so there's a second part! this is the very first fan fiction i have written in my entire life so please be kind. thanks for reading!

Part 2: Down Came the Rain (and Washed the Black Cat Out)

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #ladybug #chat noir #marichat #ladynoir #adrienette #angst #fluff #fanfiction

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mcsstydia · 7 years ago

Text

To protect you- Luke Crain

request:

Warnings: mention of mental illnesses, depression

prompt: Luke is in rehab and it stresses you. He knows you’ve got depression and does something in order to protect you from pain

pairing: luke x reader

A/N: I didn’t choose the hoe life okay... it chose me

Masterlist

Luke Crain. A good looking man you had the misfortune to fall in love with.

Oh, who are you kidding?

It was Luke Crain. The most handsome man you had ever laid your eyes upon. The one you were head over heels in love with. Perfect, right? Wasn’t it for the drug addiction Luke Crain had to fight with.

But you loved him anyway. You went to every rehab center with him. You wanted him to get better. But while he had to fight real demons and ghosts, those you had to fight were inside your head.

While Luke’s brother Steven believed all his life that a mental disorder ran through his family while it was only the haunting house they grew up in, you were the one that -fortunately or unfortunately, you weren’t quite sure- that had to face mental illness.

And sometimes, supporting your boyfriend with all you had, became too much. It became so much that you broke down and cried for hours on end without any apparent reason.

A while, you just wouldn’t tell anybody and try to go on with your life as though nothing ever happened. But Luke knew. You didn’t know how, but he could always tell when you had had an episode again.

And being in rehab and not being able to help you how he wished he could, he told his siblings about your depression. He was worried about you and hoped his siblings would help you.

Only problem was that you didn’t really like it that he told his family about your depression without asking you.

“You could’ve at least asked me.”, you stated, face stern as you fiddled with the hems of your jacket. “Baby, I wanted to, believe me. But how could I? I was so worried about you I couldn’t wait ‘till the next time you visited. I had to tell them, I had to do something.”, he said, his sad eyes pleading you to look up from your jacket to look at him.

You sighed and looked into the eyes you fell in love with. His eyes had a soothing effect on you and you smiled a small smile at him. “I know babe, I’m sorry. It’s just too much sometimes, I worry so much about you.”, you admitted and reached for his hand.

But Luke suddenly froze. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Babe?”, you asked. “what is it?” But Luke held a stern, but sad face and pulled his hand away from you.

“Maybe you shouldn’t come anymore.”, he said lowly. You raised your eyebrows and an unbelievingly laugh escaped your lips. “what?”, you half-laughed, but you could already feel the tears stinging in your eyes.

“Don’t come visit me anymore. Please.”, was all he said before standing up and leaving the visiting room from the rehab center.

You were dumbfunded, confused and, above all, heartbroken. You cried for days, you didn’t get out of your flat and barely ate. But Luke knew that would happen. That’s why he told his siblings to watch you.

He wanted nothing but to protect you from the pain he would cause you. He knew he caused you pain with ‘breaking up’ with you as well,and that’s why his siblings had to make sure you wouldn’t harm yourself.

Weeks passed like this. You heard nothing of him, although you spent the majority of your time with his family. You didn’t dare ask about him, you knew you would cry no matter what they’d tell you.

Luke, on the other hand, got a daily report from one of his siblings. He was more worried than ever about you and that’s why he worked so hard on getting better- he wanted to come home to you.

Three months passed like this. One would think you’d have gotten over him in that time. But who were you kidding? That was, at least you’d like to think of him as it, the love of your life. You had been attached by the hip for years, had gotten through everything together. You couldn’t just simply ‘get over him’.

After all, he hadn’t ever really broken up with you. At least, that’s what you’d like to tell yourself. That he did it to protect you, that he still loved you the same.

But you know you fooled yourself with those thoughts.

You sighed as you got out of your car and searched for your key on the way to your door. As you finally found it and had climbed to the first floor, you frowned. Something seemed unfamiliar about the door to your flat, you just couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

You grabbed the pepper spray from your bag, because no one had a key to your apartment except for- Luke. Adrenaline shot through your body. You quietly opened the door and stepped in. There was food on your kitchen table. And it was your favourite food, that really tasty spaghetti only your boyfriend could make.

Tears began to brim in your eyes as you put your bag down next to the kitchen table. “Those are still your favourite, right?”, a voice asked from behind you. You didn’t even shriek- it was the voice that soothed your nightmares and whispered ‘I love you’s’ into your ear.

You slowly turned around to face him. There he was. Luke Crain. The love of your life, who you had the privelege to fall in love with.

He looked at you insecurely and fiddled with the hem of his oversized sweater- a habit he had picked up from you. You stayed quiet.

“Look,”, he started and made an unsure step towards you. “I know I probably broke you. Well, fuck that. I know I broke you to pieces, Y/N. I know because Steven, Theo and Shirly told me so.”, he explained.

The tears in your eyes had started running down your face and you had tried to swipe them away so he wouldn’t see them.

“But let me explain myself. I-I... Oh, fuck. This sounds so stupid now that I’m about to ay it out loud.”, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I- I only ever wanted to protect you, okay? I know you don’t understand why, but I know, Y/N. I know you well enough to figure out how many breakdowns you had because of me. I just- I just wanted you to live stress-free until I was better again. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, you know that, right?”, he asked hopefully, biting his lip.

“I hate you,”, you stated, sobbing. Luke looked at you, freightened of what was to come next. “I would have risked it all for you, Luke. I just wanted you to get better, I just wanted to help you.”, you explained, crying and running up to him to hug him, feel him again.

You buried your head in his sweater, wettening it with your tears. He kissed the top of your head, his voice breaking. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry, I just wanted to protect you.” He started sobbing by then.

You looked up at him, cupped his face with your hands and wiped his tears away. “Luke Crain. I love you and I will always love you. But please, don’t ever do that to me again, okay? I’m with you, through it all. You understand that, dickhead?”, you asked, smiling.

He laughed lightly and nodded. “good,”, you mumbled and leaned in to kiss the lips you had craved and missed for so long. You sighed as you stood on your tip toes, hands in his neck, his hands wrapped around your shivering body as your lips met.

#luke crain #luke crain imagine #luke crain fanfic #luke crain prompt #oliver jackson cohen #oliver jackson cohen imagine #thohh #the haunting of hill house #shirly crain #theo crain #nell crain #steve crain #masterlist #shirl crain #nellie crain #steven crain #steve crain imagine

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ohsweetflips · 6 years ago

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yes but youre saying the Only thing that makes someone a woman is if they say they are a woman. but then what is being a woman? if a person can be whoever and however they want within that category, and any way physically, then what would even be the point of identifying as a different gender ? if those labels are totally meaningless?

okay anon, i really don’t know what you want me to tell you?? fuck, i’ve been feeling so disconnected with “expected womanhood” for years now that i don’t even know how to Begin defining “””what it means to be a woman””” past identifying as one!!!! do you want me to spew the transphobic rhetoric of “you can only be a woman if you have a vagina”? because i’m not, because that’s transphobic as fuck and not true. do you want me to spew the western society’s sexist defintion of woman as being quiet, being submissive, being skinny, being something for everyone but herself? because i’m not, because that’s sexist and not true (and the only reason i make the specification on western society is bc i’m not educated enough about other cultures to even try making a comment). do you want me to spew the racist rhetoric that the only “””pretty””” “womanly” features are that of white women? because i’m not, because that’s racist and not true.

like!!! there is so much of gender that is just A Construct. and i’m not saying that people can’t appreciate gender! some people really like rooting who they are in gender, and i am not about to invalidate that, but a huge part of “being a man/being a woman” is set up by societal expectations, and it would be severely irresponsible and close-minded of me to be like, “oh, well, if you fit THESE certain boxes, then you’re a woman” when, in reality, i hope i’ve been educated enough (tho i still look to educate myself more bc we live in a very cisnormative society) to be able to aptly say, “if you identify as a woman, then you are one”

besides, i am literally One Girl who, to be very honest, has lived an overall priveleged life. i’m white and cis and grew up in a town more liberal than others and, tho im a lesbian and not very wealthy and have my own problems, that does not suddenly erase my privelege. i honestly think it would be incredibly irresponsible and also kinda fucked if i tried to make broad comments on what makes a “real woman”

like, again anon, idk if you’re just playing devil’s advocate or trying to do some type of educating in some questioning way or trying to back me into a corner, but yeah, if you’re trying to get me to reason with transphobic rhetoric on womanhood, it’s not gonna happen

#answered #Anonymous

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safitheartist · 7 years ago

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Okay so I'm taking a look at Young Sheldon and

This show does surprisingly much really right.

For starters they shifted the tone very drastically from the over blown sitcom formular of TBBT (if you couldn't tell I do not like this show a lot) to a more down to earth drama like atmosphere.

You wouldn't even really get that the show is a spin off of TBBT if it wasn't for Sheldon's name and the occasional cut in from his older self as he narrates the whole thing. There are no reaction tracks that give a que to how the audience is suppose to react and absolutly takes away a layer of suspense off of any scene.

Sheldon as a child also is a lot more likeable then as a adult, comming off as misunderstood and somewhat misguided rather then literally not a person who should be able to funktion on his own in any feasable context.

He is a good kid at heart even if he has difficulties expressing this. And his actor manages to convey this very well through a amazing performance.

And so is his family, his parents are depicted as supportive but overwhelmed and his sibblings as envious but not vindictive. It's a very realistic depiction of a family in a very unusual situation and how every member is affected by said.

But at the same time the show knows exactly what these people's shortcommings are. It's aware that it is writing a white religious family in texas during the 90's and it puts attention to this via Sheldon's two highschool friends Tam and Libby.

Tam is a vitnamesse boy Sheldon met while on a quest to make a friend so his mother wouldn't worry about him and Libby is a young black girl with a extensive knowledge about Geology Sheldon grows a crush on.

Both being minorities is used to highlight the unintentional racism of Sheldon's family and their efforts to correct their behavior.

There are two wonderful scenes in particular that really bring this into the forefront.

The first one is a Family dinner at Sheldon's house Tam was invited to. It's a very uncomfortable scene where the family makes things very awkward fast as they show their understanding of Tam's culture is based on stereotypes which then builts up to Tam telling his tale about how he and his family suffered after the American/Vitnam war. Tam's father fought on the american side and therefore he and his family were put into a reeducation camp. They fleed the country on a raft to Taiwan where they lived in a refugee camp until they were finaly granted entry in the USA where they lived on a boat for a coupel of years. Almost having had a happy ending. Until the KKK burned said down and Tam's parents were forced to move to the country side to open up a convenience store, hardly making minimum vague.

It's a very uncomfortable scene. Which is wunderfull. It pulls no punches and clearly points out how the American dream is mostly a myth for non white people. It basically just takes all the white privelege these people had and the false pretense of having a land of equal oppertunity and throws it into their faces.

I was really impressed. Such a scene would have never worked in TBBT. Which shows again how damaging their over use of reaction tracs really is, since the dialouge still clearly has the same structure and style as TBBT. It just has enough faith in what it actually is saying that it doesn't need these tracks as a cruch.

The second scene is shorter but still very much a really great one. In it Sheldon's father George tries to spy on him, Tam and Libby as said are having a conversation in the libarry only to be caught red handed by Sheldon's brother Georgie. In the conversation that ensues it's revealed that George seemingly is a bit uncomfortable with the idea that his son has a crush on a black girl, which he of course doesn't want to admit to himself of his son. Georgie therefore calls him out, advising him to educate himself.

The thing is here that Sheldon's dad knows that his behavior is wrong and is truly ashamed of himself. It's treated as his personal problem he has to solve and not Libby's and it's treated as a serious problem and character flaw, not a "oh haha, unintentional bigotry and discomfort to minority groups is halarious." Joke.

Young Sheldon, oddly enough, seems really out to tell a meaningful narrative that discusses the feelings of being a social outcast and uses it's characters to tell said in a meaningfull manner. It tackels interesting subject matters and has a very likeable main and suportive cast.

#young sheldon #the big bang theory

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smorgasbordofobsessions · 3 years ago

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liveblog: yugioh! ep115-121

ep115

what's crazy is that panic's dueling arena literall turned into a fir tornado and we were supposed to think that that's normal

let's not forget that, in the manga, yami's role was actually to show people the consequences of their actions, which is why panik gets "obliviated" by yami

i actually should read the manga but the story is so different that i probably won't

ep116

oh yes company machinations!

pegasus wants kaiba's company!

kaiba reminds me of enzan from megaman (enzan <3)

oh why oh why could bakura's millennium ring be pointing towards pegasus' castle? is it because maybe, just maybe, pegasus has a millennium item?

oh they figured that out good

why did yugi have kaib'a deck?

"why don't you go look for an opponent you can actually beat? like an infant, or a monkey?"

like i was saying before the TECHNOLOGY involved in creating this holographic shit is actually amazing

so in the kaiba/joey ship, just how many fics are there where there's puppy play because i remember that being a constant thing, and this episode was the start of it

"if you ask nice, i'll finish you fast"

al i want to know is, in japanese, does kaiba go hard with the whole dog analogy or is that an artistic choice on the dub's part

ep117

is.. is that supposed to be an australian accent

ugh heavy cringe

"mullet-head" to pegasus, who has longer than shoulder length hair okay

so.. to put my fan experience to use, joey definitely has a puppy kink and he wants kaiba to be his master hahahaha

ep118

joey was told that an axe attack wouldn't kill the zombies and yet here he goes using a fucking axe attack to kill a zoblie clown

stupid

tristan's gonna fucking try to -

he said he would try to puncha boulder and it turned out to be a balloon witha speaker haha

yo joey definitely doesn't read the card descriptions

"why jsut defeat him when you can humiliate him?"

well, bandit keith, that's literally the problem

you could defeat immediately instead giving the opponent time to formulate a new strategy

"you can't possibly [stop me from playing in defense] with one card"

"oh yeah? my trap card, "stop defense" "oh no"

ep119

mokuba's fuckig voice ohmygod

oh ehll yeah the doubles duel!

eager for the days when we stop the transformation scene and yugi just becomes yami

"alright youse brothers paradox. me and yugi are gonna clean your clocks"

you know what would be fun? seeing yugi and bakura duel together

why didn't kaiba just land closer to the castle

i, too, wish i could be drinking wine

ah the classic one's a liar one's a truther riddle

this chibi style is cute

also can't wait for when we call polymerization just "fusion"

but hoenstly fusing shadow ghoul with the labyrinth wall is smart as shit

ep120

why did they use a springboard sound for kaiba's solar plexus attack

DARK MAGICIAN

why should anyone tell anyone what cards are being laid face down

this is reminding me how much i didn't like mokuba as a character ebcause i thought - and currently think - he's fucking useless

ah the gate guardian, which is really just a little preview of all the differnt types of god cards in this series

"you'll never get past the gate guardian!"

hm, yeah, sure, okay

"you can beg later - when you're punished"

ep121

oh shit there are 49 episodes in this season

our previously unbeatable gate guardian who got partially defeated is still unbeatable even though 1/3 of our unbeatable gate guardian got destroyed

yeah remember when monster reborn could be used for your enemies' cards and not just your own

OKAY SO THE CARDS DO HAVE DESCRIPTIONS SO JOEY REALLY JUST DOESN'T FUCKING READ THEM

WOW A CARD WITH 4000 ATK POINTS REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS CRAZY AS SHIT

dark magician really hopped off suigen right quick

yeah we forgot about the door puzzle

kaiba's a ninja haha

kaiba boy

it's just a little magic trick. i just trapped his soul in a card

"you must first EARN the privelege to challenge me

#yugioh #ygo #liveblog

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blossomrye4-blog · 8 years ago

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My Coco movie review!

This review does contain major spoilers, but don’t worry; I’ve inserted a “Read More” link here. That way, those of you who haven’t seen the movie yet won’t have to be subjected to horrendous spoilers when you stumble upon this post. :)

Oh, and feel free to comment your thoughts on the movie here! I would love to hear about them! :)

So, without further ado, here we go!!

- The opening scene really captivated me with its illustration of the Rivera family’s backstory using the papel picados. I just love how almost every traditional item used for Day of the Dead is symbolic to the story in a way!

- MIGUEL IS SUCH A PRECIOUS BEAN AND DESERVES TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

- Speaking of Miguel, my mom (who was watching the movie with me) told me that he looked like my cousin. Interestingly enough, one of the character art directors of the movie said that he heard multiple people say that Miguel looked like their own son or nephew, and that’s pretty heartwarming!

- At the flashback scene where Ernesto was performing on stage moments before his death, my mom audibly gasped when the church bell crushed him. I already knew how he died beforehand, so I just whispered to her, ‘Yeah..that happened.’ (which is exactly what I said to her when Lightning crashed in Cars 3)

- DANTE IS A PRECIOUS DOGGO AND ALSO DESERVES TO BE PROTECTED

- Throughout the scene where Miguel is playing the guitar while watching Ernesto’s tape, I couldn’t help but gush over the animation of the fingers plucking the guitar strings. As this was one of the most difficult things in the movie to animate, I was extremely impressed by the details!

- Although I was spoiled on Ernesto being the antagonist before watching the movie (but wasn’t spoiled on what exactly made him the antagonist), I couldn’t resist swaying forth and away to the song he was singing on the tape, especially since I absolutely love solo acoustic guitar music!

- The first scene that made my heart split in two was when Elena (Miguel’s grandmother) destroyed Miguel’s guitar right in front of him. If I were in Miguel’s place and I watched someone destroy something I cherished, I would have reacted the way he did too.

- The marigold bridge scene..HOLY FREAKING HECK, did it astound me! All of those colorful city lights (14 MILLION of them) in the Land of the Dead dazzled me in a way nothing has before! Just the amount of visual work that goes into these Pixar movies is downright incredible.

- Hector is one of my favorite characters in the movie, because I grew to love him the further the movie went on to his backstory, and all that he went through because of Ernesto was just outright awful. :’(

- The scene where Hector plays a song for his friend (I forgot his name) while he was suffering the “Final Death” nearly brought me to tears. When I saw clips of this scene on one of the international trailers, I thought that his dying friend was Julio (Miguel’s great-grandfather) and I was somewhat relieved to find out that it wasn’t, but that scene was depressing nonetheless.

- Skipping a lot further to the major points of the story, the way Ernesto was casted as the villian shocked me. The reveal of Ernesto causing Hector’s death by poisoning his drink and making himself famous using Hector’s songs made my mouth gap open out of pure disgust. Not to mention, I hated Ernesto more when he ordered his guards to throw poor Miguel and Hector in that underground cave, as if he had no problem sending his former best friend and one of his loyal fans, a child, to possible death.

- Okay, now to one of the most tearjerking parts of the movie…Seeing Miguel so guilt-ridden over his previous outbursts with both his family and Hector was heartbreaking enough. But, Hector comforting Miguel as he was crying, telling him he was sorry made me lost it. By the time it got to the flashback of Hector singing ‘Remember Me’ to baby Coco, I was crying so much that I could barely see the screen. Nobody, literally nobody, was in the theater room except for me and my mom, so I had the privelege of being as dramatic and emotional as I wanted.

- I was on the edge of my seat the entire climax, cheering all of the characters on to making Ernesto pay. Then, when the entire audience caught a glimpse of Ernesto’s ture nature and Pepita came into the picture to punish his sorry behind, I was like, ‘YESS, GET WRECKED, SON’. Then, the bell to the clock tower crushes him, and I was like, ‘Sweet old déjà vu, am I right?’.

- My triumph didn’t last long though. When Hector was on the verge of his “Final Death”, I legit thought he was going to die and I about bawled my eyes out. As you can imagine, Hector surviving his “Final Death” later on was a huge sigh of relief for me.

- Now, I don’t know which scene I cried over the most, the underground cave scene or the scene with Miguel restoring Coco’s memory of Hector. I couldn’t stand the sight of Miguel desperately getting Coco to remember Hector to seemingly no avail. Then, the happy tears came as Coco began singing ‘Remember Me’ with Miguel, That one scene was so beautiful in so many ways, I can’t find the words to describe it.

- I giggled when I saw the sign ‘Forget You’ on Ernesto’s altar. The content on that sign had to be PG for obvious reasons, which was probably why I found it funny.

#pixar coco #pixar coco spoilers #coco spoilers

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ashalightwood · 5 years ago

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Ok, I will add things to this wonderful post because I need to vent about Cassandra Clare. TLH is not the only work that needs to be addressed.

First I have to say that, as a poc and a member of the LGBT community, it really bothers me when people of the fandom treat white straight writers as the Queen's and Kings of representation while there poc and lgbt authors struggling to have the same space and recognition and talking about their own experiences and point of view. I don't trust white authors to handle pic characters and Cassie is a prove of that.Give more space and money to poc and lgbt creators the same way that you do to white ones. And listen to the ones who call out the problems.

That say, let's talk about the problems (that I can remember) about Cassandra's work. First you guys make me laught when you said that she has good LGBT representation. She doesn't. It's not a coincidence that we have SO MANY M/M relanshionships and carachters. It's not a coincidence that lesbians almost are not in the plot and always secondary. She's not an ally. She explore the m/m relanshionships for money because she knows that she has A LOT of feitshizing fans.

Let's talk about race in TLH. First of all, I don't like Alastair. His carachter just didn't vibe with me. That's okay. However it makes MAD how badly his storyline is handled. First CC says that Alastair was bullied . Then, someway I don't know, she says a BROWN BOY in 1900 had the power to bully tHE FUCKING consul's son. You know when this would happen? NEVER. She didn't have to make him a bully, but she did. I'm not saying that poc carachters have to be perfect to deserve to be liked. But when they don't have a pov, a voice, when they are written in a flat way by a white woman to an white audience, unfortunately, they have.

Let's move to Cordelia. Let me tell you something. Read about a brown girl being rejected by a white man who want a white girl is painful. I don't give A SHIT if it was the fucking bracelet. She had to be the only main girl who felt rejected by her love interest? I mean, Jace left clear who wanted Clary even when they thought they were siblings, for fuck sake. And CC never brings the racial problem to this. I can assure you, poc girl feels different about that. We see men (and women) hiding us, happy to have sex and say we are beautiful and hot but never getting in a official relanshionship. This hurts.

Ariadne was already discussed in the post and a comment above. The fact of Anna (and good part of the fandom) refusing to understand Ariadne's side and that she doesn't have the same priveleges that her is infuriating to me, and acting like Ari did a big bad thing that made Anna never believe in romantic love and finishing CHOG with the impression that Ari have to "prove herself" to "earn" Anna back it's truly ridiculous. Ariadne deserves someone more caring, empathetic and understanding.

Let's go to TID. Cassandra says and you guys pretend to believe that Tessa, Will and Jem are the protagonists. That's not true. She treated Jem horrible the WHOLE saga. Will thinks he cursed his family and fled and everyone in the fandom reacts strongly to that. People bail their eyes out and say that CP2 is the saddest book in Clare's work because Will died very very old and sorrounded by family and friends. Well, Jem had to watch his parents being tortured and killed, was tortured himself and get addicted to a drug that he depends to be alive. And if you guys are really honest with yourself s, you will admit that he really was treated as second choice by Tessa. She couldn't have the big bad blue eyes boy Will so she turned for kind Jem. That's the truth.

Jem suffered HIS whole saga and had to wait a fucking century (full of loneliness) to be happy. So yes, I dare to say he was treated poorly by the author and not like the other protags.

I don't remember enoth to talk about TMI but there are other people in the fandom who talked about Maia's treatment. And that CC blocked them. Funny, huh? She is so vocal about being wronged when her book were leaked but silences her own fans and reader.

I honestly read Clare because I like (most of) her writing and is fun. But she is my guilty pleasure and I wouldn't recommend to a pic or LGBT teenager reader.

My point with all that is: listen the pic and LGBT readers who call out her bad representation in the fandom and give poc and lgbt writers the same attention that you guys do to white millionaire people.

Thank you guys for your time!

Literally I know I’m a small blog with like. One popular zukka post but this has to be said

The white members of the tlh gang, specifically Matthew and Anna, for all that they are meant to be the ‘good white people’ for accepting cordelia into their circle, have not done a full scale analysis of their pre-conceived notions of race, their position in shadowhunter society as white people, and how they benefit british colonialism and white privilege.

No one come on this post with a comment about the times because if queer acceptance can exist, guess what? So can anti-racism and the conscious effort to unlearn prejudice.

I’m bringing this up because I’m becoming increasingly frustrated about Ariadne’s whitewashing/adoption by a family that was an authority figurehead in the society of a country actively colonizing her people, and the way Alastair’s internalized racism was treating as an angsty plot point, but apparently not worthy of telling from his point of view or making him an obvious Chief of Angst™ the way Matthew’s was, trivializing the inter-generational trauma of real people as compared to mythical creatures, and the overall way racism is briefly addressed as angst for a character of colour, but ultimately pushed to the background to make way for discussions of oppression against imaginary species, which I get is supposed to be a reference to real oppression, but it’s a poor one, and it’s not necessary when we can point to several instaces of racism among the Shadowhunter community,

I’ll start with the example that was, for me, the most obvious: Anna.

I’m aware that microaggressions like this were common, but as Cordelia’s reaction shows, they were still offensive- and again, given the high amount of queer acceptance, at least within this character group, and honestly the very fact that racism is bad and anti-racists existed, I will be judging EVERY white characters perception of race the way I would were this the modern day.

This is immediately brushed over and never addressed again, like Anna didn’t just admit to having prejudiced pre-conceived notions about non-white ethnicities? Microaggressions, prejudices and harmful pre-conceived notions of race aren’t one a million. If you have one, you most likely have another. The books treatment of Anna’s prejudice as at best, an honest mistake, and at worst, funny and quirky, implies racism is just a minor bump in the road you can quickly skip over- but considering whose writing this, it’s not surprising.

THEN, shortly after discovering Alistair dyes his hair due to internalized racism:

WHAT?! THE FUCK?!

WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THIS TO FINDING OUT SOMEONE WAS ON THE RECEIVING END OF RACISM?! HOW DO YOU SEE SOMEONE’S GENERATIONAL TRAUMA AND LIKEN IT TO BEING MADE FUN OF FOR BEING SMALL AS A CHILD?! IT’S LIKE IF ZUKO SAID ‘THAT’S ROUGH BUDDY’ TO SOKKA EXPLAINING HOW THE FIRE NATION MURDERED HIS MOM?!

And the way she cut off from what I guess we’re supposed to believe was a passionate speech challenging white supremacy and instead settled on refusing to sympathize with the pain of the person of colour? What the FUCK? I’m not justifying ANY of Alastair’s actions, but I literally Do Not Care what a person of colour did to you; if you see them on the receiving end of racist treatment, you empathize, because not doing so implies non-whites have to EARN not receiving racism.

I’d finally like to address Anna’s handling of Ariadne explaining her proposal.

I want to make it clear that out lesbians are not obligated to stay in relationships that are treated like a dirty secret, and Ariadne’s attempt to distract Anna from the situation, and honestly, her overall treatment of the engagement, was poor. However, Anna’s inability to understand why Ariadne may not be in the position to deny social cues sheds light on her white privilege and shows she doesn’t, fundamentally, understand what it must be like for Ariadne to be completely removed from her culture, in a white society where her proximity to whiteness ad adherence to white culture is the sole judge of whether she is worthy of occupying the same space as them- and henceforth makes no effort to try.

Anna fails to grasp that as a visible dark skinned girl, Ariadne is expected to live up to higher standards or expectations or she will not be accepted. Despite the time they were in, queerness was a option for Anna because she was white. It decidedly wasn’t for Ariadne. This is the typical failure of whiteness to acknowledge its privilege- not realising that being part of a generally ostracised race means you have to fight ten times harder to be just as good as a white person.

Anna doesn’t understand this, and she does’t make any effort to. I understand that resources on anti-racism were generally limited, but I’m going to take a leap of faith and assume Anna could do the math on her own and realize what it meant to be in three oppressed groups.

So, on three occasions, Anna has displayed ignorance, prejudice, and a general lack of knowledge or a real attempt to study her white privilege. And I love her character! I really do. But we can’t gloss over this. Even if she isn’t throwing around slurs and refusing to talk to Cordelia because she’s brown, she’s still displayed a limited understanding of her white privilege and treated her ignorance towards race as funny and quirky, and refused to sympathize with a man of colour- while not even knowing what he did to deserve to be antagonized.

I’m so tired at this point, but I’d like to go on record and say Oscar’s white supremacy was public knowledge even then, due to lack of criticism. Matthew’s continuous and uncritical support and admiration of him points to him not considering racism serious enough to denounce support of someone.(Also, the fact that Anna latched onto the first white feature she could find and decided that was the highlight of Ariadne’s looks? And how not once in the ENTIRE series can anyone be bothered to even give a shitty, ‘sorry we’re colonizing your country’? Writing Ariadne to be ADOPTED BY HER OPPRESSORS?)

Anyway, it was 1903. The tlh gang are probably SUPER ignorant of their place in the social hierarchy, their white privilege and their pre-conceived notions of race, and that is why I am now taking all white tlh characters with a pinch of salt.

#anna lightwood #tlh #ariadne bridgestock #matthew fairchild #alastair carstairs #cassandra clare #tsc #tid #tmi

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ukoid · 7 years ago

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[1/23/18] more of a rant than a blog post

i have no idea what i’m doing wrong man, lol. people continue to remind me why i have such severe trust issues. people never come to me genuinely they always seem to have some kind of underlying motive.

i try my hardest to be a hard working genuine loving person but no one ever does the same shit back for me and that’s just how it’s been this past year. i really really hate people sometimes. i know who my people are and i have to make sure i don’t forget.

i’m trying new things with new people and having fun with it but almost every interaction has lead to failure so far. there’s one open door left but it feels like i’m stepping over egg shells and i really want it to work out. i want to be happy with someone. i’m not even asking for romance, lmao. i just need a friend who won’t bail.

i have a lot to catch this blog up on but the fact of the matter is too much has happened lately and i don’t have enough time to type up a long explanation. i can, however, copy and paste a couple pastebins

from before the disney cruise

from the disney cruise

When I do ctrl+A on wordpad it keeps reverting it back to calibri 11 so FINE i'll just stick with it. not like it'll stay on this same font anyway if/when i publish this.

So it's Monday the 8th, 11:43 EST. I've majorly enjoyed the cruise so far, I think the only sucky parts is that A) it's so short and B) i'm 19. this severely limits my options, as the events and stuff to do are majorly geared toward either kids, or teenagers below 17, or adults 21 and over who can drink and stuff. (And it's funny because apparently I should have prepared! The legal age to drink is 18 in Mexico, so I was totally legal to visit and revisit the open bar while we were on the beach. Which is interesting. I've never been interested in drinking or anything like that but it really doesn't help when, yknow, everyone else around you is doing it and you wish you could at least get buzzed since you're bored and your options are limited. I tried a pina colada, but fuck since my mom's been drinking since she was like 15 or whatever she prefers really strong stuff. I couldn't handle.)

I bought myself a couple really cheap coffee mugs because that was the kinda souvenir I was in line for, but I also found a couple really cool lighters, but I accidentally got caught by my mom trying to buy one. I still don't know if she knows I smoke weed. Either I'm doing a really good job hiding it or she's doing a really good job hiding the fact that she knows. But oh well, I'm not really worried about it, I just hate that apparently her first thought is that I was buying the lighter for my ex. Which. No. It's for me. I didn't tell her, though.

It's really nice having relative freedom. At the very least I still get the executive privelege of ice cream and pizza almost whenever I want it. The only problem was the fact that I got seasick last night because when we took off from Cozumel it was stormy enough to shake the ship, so it was rocking back and forth a lot. I almost threw up, but thankfully I was able to down a motion sickness pill and head straight to sleep. Only thing was I woke up incredibly hungry at 2:30 AM, and of course all the food places were closed. Why me. But I feel better now, it's just that literally all of us feel the same way about today... the final sea day, the day where we all wait for it to be tommorow and we can go home. Lol. Except for me, I'm flying straight to GDQ when I get off the ship!!! Which is what I've been really looking forward to for this vacation.

I probably won't be able to finish mario odyssey (which I've been using my spare time to play in our room) by the time we dock, but I WILL be able to play it on the plane so maybe I'll get enough headway there. I do wanna be able to learn any% after having at least gotten the normal ending. I can 100% it or whatever later, it should be okay.

Either my headphones are breaking or my laptop just doesn't pump out very much sound because this music isn't playing very loud in my ears, lol. I just wanna turn it up some more!!!

In the vein of electronic devices and gadgets and such I really didn't prepare much. Or at least, I thought I did, but apparently didn't. Wifi and cellular data are RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE. Like I thought i'd be able to pay a similar $8 a day thing like they have at the airports, but it's more like $8 per megabyte of data. MEGABYTE. Like I can't even listen to spotify on my phone because I didn't have any of my songs downloaded in advance. And it's not even like I'm trying to stay cut off from the ship itself and all its attractions either, I just wanted to be able to check into twitter or snapchat or twitch every so often during my down time. I've just been turning off airplane mode every 8 hours or so and reading the notifications or whatever, because at least past me had the genius idea of turning on tweet notifs for the gdq account so at least I know what's happening. But i'll be reconnected tomorrow, no biggie. For now I'm just throwing away some time while the room service dudes do their thing, and in a couple hours I'll honestly just go watch a couple movies. Coco and Star Wars 8 are playing so I'll try to catch both, play some odyssey, get dinner, and we'll roll from there. Thankfully I had spotify open from when I was packing for the cruise itself (since I haven't used my laptop at all since we left the house), so at least I can listen to the playlist I was already on while I write.

I just wanna know asap how much money I still have, lol. It feels a little scary spending and spending, not knowing how much I'll still have after the cruise is over. And I know it'll be fine, because all I have to do is work another week and I'll have another $400 to deposit, it's just like aaa. And the whole point of going on vacation is to NOT worry about my real life, and my finances, and my job, but I've been having stress dreams. I was lucky to be woken up from one the other night, I've been sharing a bed with my brother and I was dreaming about iHop and the GM being mad at me about something while I try and work, a la Christmas night, and in the middle of a stretch my brother backhanded me in the face softly, but just hard enough to wake me up. I was gonna get mad but I was like huh. Thanks. lol.

Uh oh my spotify ran out, lmao

If I could read my prior blogs real quick I'd know what I need to catch it up on, but I guess this one'll remain cruise/vacation only and I'll do a real one when I have interwebz. I wanna wait as long as possible to try heading back to the stateroom in case the room service dudes are still there. I ran into this problem on one of the first days :P I wanted to retire to the room but the service for each room takes like an hour, and I had nowhere to go so I was just walking around, being approached by each person like "hey are you lost" and I'm like no!!! I'm fine!!!

The thing about all the employees on the ship is like. I get it they're supposed to be extra nice and all that, for the disney feel and so that more people will book more cruises in the future, but I get weirded out by niceness. It probably has an impact on my serving as well, because I try to act like who i'd wanna encounter while eating out. Not overly nice, but not overly lazy and forgetful, yknow. It hurts at times to try and break that, to fake who I am in order to "serve better" so I don't know how some people do it. Props to them.

I'm probably done venting certain thoughts. Don't wanna make it seem like I hate the cruise though, the only issue I have, which is out of anyone's control, is that it's not at all tailored to the demographic that I fall under. I enjoyed it a hell of a lot more the first time around back in 2013, when I WAS young enough to fall under the "youth activities" rung. Bad timing is all it is. Ideally next time I cruise or anything like that, it'll be when I'm much older. But I'm not the one who planned it or paid for it, and I'm making the most fun out of it I can instead of being my old sour teenager self who hates everything. :P Proud of myself for coming of age in that regard. I think my siblings have too. (Except for my youngest brother. ;p) --- 7:33 EST just came out of Last Jedi, was pretty damn dope. Just as a movie by itself i'd recommend it to anyone who likes that style of story where a bunch of different plot lines and points of view finally converge. Homestuck always comes to mind when I encounter stories like this

Didn't get to catch Coco because apparently the theater was jam-packed, like zero places left to sit down.

7:50 EST i don't like the way the boat moves. i think cruises really just aren't my thing, lmao. if i could get this same experience, but like, on land? i think i'd like that more :P like the longer i lay here knowing dinner time's coming (25 minutes) the less i want to move and the more i just want to sleep.

post-gdq

but i’m back in the groove of my job and things. i’ve talked to my manager about some stuff, other stuff i kept in, but my schedule’s “””okay””” for the time being. i’m gonna ask about my shifts starting in the 6:00 range because i really don’t like that, but for now i’m fine with it as long as it’s not the majority.

i can’t do graveyard for the time being since server priority 1 ronnie (i’m server priority 2 basically) has asked for those shifts since he’s a little bit extra in need of cash, so of course they’re gonna indulge him on that. but as soon as i can get those shifts back the happier i’ll be

i got my first car payment taken care of and set up recurring payments monthly, which i’m really excited about. next step i think is to a) keep working and saving and b) figure out my w-2 and such because this’ll be my first year doing taxes with ihop under my belt

a few things plaguing my mind lately involve my love life, a new friend that i’ve made that i really hope to grow closer with, and an old friend who i really miss. i wish wish wish i could go into further detail but whoops, ain’t got no one to tell this shit to. i’m a gay piece of shit

not sure what else to say for the moment, but i hope this sinus infection goes away soon so i feel like doing more stuff. my room is a hopeless wreck but i couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it

#ukoblog

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keystonewarrior · 8 years ago

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Don’t lose the war.

The problem with bumper sticker philosophy is that the message is small and the context is large, and intricately linked to just about everything else.

I lost my temper. I was angry at yet another cheap shot to everybody who has it okay at the expense of other people who may not have things okay. The message I was angry about wanted to remind people that the world isn’t quite the way we all would like to imagine it is, but what upset me was that it offered nothing in the way of how to make things better.

Awareness and understanding are only the first two steps in fixing things, there are many steps that must be taken. If we face opposition to making things better, then each step must be fought for, bought with sacrifice, and those extra steps make our journey only that much longer and more arduous.

I’ve made some passive study about the history of the people whose ancestors first came to the Americas. I’ve read a few books and even had an anthropology course at Penn State. I dated a woman who claimed Blackfoot heritage but interestingly never claimed Canadian heritage (I reckon she read the name somewhere and added it to her list of ancestors because it sounded cool). I taught kids who were mostly Blackfeet in Montana, but other tribes as well. I grew up in a state that has no remaining indigenous people but did have schools that were dedicated to erasing the history of those people and making them act more Euro-American (those schools are closed now but some remain as historic sites). I know Thanksgiving didn’t happen the way little kids are told and my own junior high history course did not gloss over the way land was stolen during the “Walking Purchase” but made it clear the very land I was growing up on was stolen by an already established procedure of underhanded dealing with the Indians by the European immigrants. I am not unaware of what happened. I do not know of any way to provide justice for the past in the present that would not in itself be another injustice.

Don’t lose the war.

All property is theft.

There are essentially zero people today living on land their ancestors occupied that was virgin soil before they got there. All over the world disparate groups occupy land they took from some other group. Everything I own was made using materials taken off of land that was not in the possession of the descendants of the first people to stand there. All over the world, people who would not be classified as white or of European ancestry have taken from other people the land they were on and the things they needed to care for their families. After the conquest, they named themselves kings and lords and such, and established laws to protect themselves from having done to them the things they did to others, essentially kicking the ladder out from behind after they climbed up so nobody else could compete. There is no road sign more conservative than Stay in Your Lane. How did the nobles become noble, they took it, at the tip of a sword, and then established their bona fides with long pedigrees. You can still see this at work across America today and even across the world when somebody claims they’ve a right to a place, and therefore a privelege that must be denied others by saying,

“I’m Dern Burt and I was born and raised in Podunk County like my daddy and his daddy before him, and we don’t want a lot of new people coming in here from someplace else and changing the way we live.”

This us-against-them mentality yielded the zero-sum game that has been the collapse of 99% of human cultures, some group seized power and then tried to hold it; the only way they could have more was if others had less. This has many faces, like feudalism, oligarchy, plutocracy, kleptocracy, mercantilism, corporatism, dynasticism. The upshot is that the founding members die but the structure of the organization remains intact. Might makes right and the lower born are meek meat to be eaten by the rich and powerful. Some of the lowborn are to be used to keep the other lowborn in their place, which half of them don’t mind as long as they have the master’s favor and can stand up on top of some other peasant.

But then one turtle shrugged.

The changes to create more egalitarian societies probably popped up many times through history, but were crushed by the powerful in their infancy before they could spread or grow strong. Only the kings or the nobles had any right, general purpose human rights were not common, but became so in time. The practice of reason and rule of law instead of belief and heritage finally manifested itself. People were slowly gaining equal voice in government and in economic and social arenas. The darkness of the inherited rentier class lost its footing and its stranglehold on people. We’ve won many battles over the last few centuries, but those who would consider themselves our masters have never given up the fight.

Don’t lose the war.

I still say that the way the message is received is more important than how it is conveyed or how it is intended. Don’t lose the war is meant to sound harsh, because it requires a lot of backbone to stand up to those who would make themselves our masters. Don’t lose the war is also meant to express pity, or sadness, about those who lost their hold on the world through an injustice imposed upon them from a more powerful adversary. Don’t lose the war is also a warning, because I reckon that the opposite of war is not peace, but slavery. I am willing to go to some length to preserve and to extend to others the privileges of full membership in modern society. Anybody who is working to make a more just and inclusive world, where human rights and personal dignity are governed by reason and not belief is a fellow traveler. If some other peasant rushed me on the street to beat me with a baseball bat, because the intent was implied by the master dog-whistling or tweeting that somebody ought to take matters into their own hand (keeping the master safe and rich and not-liable) then I hope I would not lose the war or I would hope some of my fellow travelers would bring the man to justice. Not in the street where impulse rules, but in the courts where reason rules. We cannot bring Colonel John Chivington the Overfed to justice, he is long dead. We cannot improve the world and the lives of the people by merely lamenting the loss of what was, we have to make sure that we expand the circle of inclusion ever wider, so that more may enjoy freedom, independence and prosperity How do we do this? Keeping the internet neutral would be a good start, but if it is taken from us, what can we replace it with? We could deliberately move democratic voters a little farther out to dilute the votes of the evangelicals and the red staters. We could sue the private companies that run the electronic voting machines with no paper trail to ensure the votes got tabulated the way they got cast. We could make certain that in our own lives we deal fairly with the people we meet and not let our biases and prejudices get in the way of working with them. When we’re right, we need to stand up, and when we’re wrong, we need to say we are sorry..

This is my way of an apology, and it is probably insufficient. I cannot love people the way they want to be loved, but only in the way I am able.

I lost my temper, and I am sorry.

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oh-ishouldnt · 8 years ago

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Oh, players! | Joe Sugg fanfic

Synopsis | Previous part

Part 04.

Y/N openned her eyes feeling last night’s weight. She was lucky to never had hungover, it was a privelege of only few people (people really hydrated, by the way), but feeling perfect after drinking like crazy was too much to ask.

Before getting up, Y/N/N grunted and rolled up in bed. She wasn’t able to sleep more, however, she didn’t want to wake up either. Defeated, she walked to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and showered trying to process what happened and, at same time, trying to not think at all.

The warm water turned things slightly better and now that Y/N/N freshed her face and took off her makeup, she felt lighter and ready to seem like a decent human being.

She concluded that it was better that she didn’t kiss anyone that night. It was her comeback party, enjoy her friends was the priority, she would leave the Joseph Sugg thing for after. For now, her only mission was ajust to the London life again.

Y/N took the umity of her hair with a towell, putting a better pajama to spend the day. The Sun was already up when she went to bed, now was almost sunset and, obviously, she wouldn’t be leaving the house right now, so she could enjoy herself in confortable soft shorts for a little more.

She went downstairs, to the kitchen, and unexpectedly found Joe Sugg in her lunch table.

“Good morning” She said.

Joe was a little apprenhensive to see Y/N/N again. Clearly they almost took things too far from what they should, nevertheless, seeing her so relaxed opening the fridge to get a bottle of orange juice, Joe forgot what happened.

“Good morning.” He responded, going back to his sandwich.

Y/N/N sat on the other half of the table with her left knee bended and her right foot on the next chair. She opened the juice bottle and put it on the glass she took just like she was having breakfast with Caspar and not Joe.

“You slept here?” She asked.

Joe nodded his head affirmatively. “Maddie was gone, you vanished and Caspar was too drunk to do something.” He explained, Y/N/N felt a little bad for not paying attention in her brother. “I wasn’t exactly sober to come back home and there’re always some clothes I let in the spare room.” Well, at least it explained Joe’s preference for the guest room in the night before.

“Sorry for putting you in this situation.”

Joe nodded his head again, this time it meaned “no”. “It was your party and I’m use to it anyway. Caspar took care of me more times than he can count as well.”

Y/N/N smiled. “Even if he can’t, thank you. I mean, it is not like Caspar can count above 20.”

Joe laughed softly. “No problem.”

After a brief moment of silence, Joe started another subject to talk about. He didn’t like silence moments with people he barely knew.

“Caspar said we are going out tonight again?”

“Yes.” Y/N informed, checking her Facebook’s notifications before tooking another sip in her juice. “We’re going to the Cirque le Soir, aren’t we?” Joe nodded another time. “How I missed that place!” She commented.

“It’s one of my favorites too.”

“I won’t say it’s my favorite because Bonbonniere Club exists too.”

“Uh, someone likes getting things to the next level.”

Y/N/N giggled, she and her brother enjoyed spend a little more money than they should when they felt festive.

“The Prysm that opened in Birminghan is cool too.” Joe said, getting up to pick a glass to pour some juice for himself.

“Oh yes, I like any Pryzm, although I wasn’t in the Birminghan one yet.” Y/N/N shrugged her shoulders. “I like Tonteria too, even if things can get a little out of tracks in there.” And if Y/N/N said something was a little crazy, things went insane. “Boys in there are kinda hot.” She added, more to herself than for Joe.

“Okay then, let’s pretend I’m not offended with this comment right now.” He joked and Y/N laughed.

“It wasn’t what I meant.” The girl pointed out. “I wouldn’t try too hard if I didn’t think you are good looking.”

Joe wasn’t use to this kind of honesty, it wasn’t like Y/N/N was flerting again or something, she was saying that in the most casual way ever. Joe laughed and let himself get caught on it.

“I can guarantee it wasn’t easy to resist to you.”

Y/N/N smiled and nodded her head, moving her arms just like someone who’s doing a reverence.

“Thank you.” She said. “I did my best,” she shrugged and grimaced. “Though it wasn’t enough.”

“Believe in me when I say: it was.” The boy shook his head with his eyebrows lift, making Y/N laugh hard. He laughed too.

When both of them took their breath again and a comfortable silence fell between the two, Joe realized Y/N was making a enterteined face.

“What?” He asked taking a sip of his orange juice.

The pretty girl looked at him with what seemed admire and curiosity, captived by the moment they shared. She always spoke more than she should and she liked a lot that Joseph wasn’t ashamed by her comments.

“You really didn’t kiss me because of my brother?” She questioned, internaly celebrating that none smile was undone.

“Basicaly, yes.” Answered Joe, his honesty was clear.

“I don’t think he would be that mad.” Y/N pointed undisturbedly, happy that Joe didn’t mention that girl who was with him.

“I disagree.”

Y/N/N lift one eyebrow. Uh, oh, the new kid in the group thought he knew more about Caspar than his own sister. In her conceptions, it was a personal affront, giving her something to prove.

“I kissed a few of my brother’s friends,” She declared. “he wasn’t stressed out about it.”

“It’s different.” Joe informed, leaving Y/N/N intrigued.

“How it’s different?”

“I have a sister and she has a boyfriend and everything, but if a close friend of mine like Caspar kiss her or a thing like that, I will explode the guy’s brain.”

Y/N/N grinmaced again, it didn’t make any sense.

“But you know who is he for real and you’re his best friend, you shouldn’t prefer that he ends up with your sister?”

“In this case, it would be treason.”

Y/N/N narrowed her eyes. “So you prefer not knowing the guy and let your sister find out someone she thinks is better just because you think it’s a betrayal from your friend? What if the guy cheats on her? It wouldn’t be worse?”

“When you put it like this, it really seemd that don’t make sense.”

“It’s because it doesn’t!” Y/N exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air.

“Basically, it’s like… How would you feel if a friend of yours kiss your father?”

“Disgusted.” Y/N quickly answered.

“See?” Joe smirked.

“I would be disgusted because my dad is…” Y/N sighed. “Well, I know my dad. I wouldn’t feel it was a treason! I would be probably more sad that my friend chose this path to walk…”

Joe gave a little laugh. “For us, guys, if a guy kiss our mother, it’s disrespectfull. And it’s the same thing with hooking up with our sisters.”

Y/N/N rolled her eyes. “You got to be kidding me.”

“I wish I was.” Joe grumbled, making Y/N/N laugh.

“Anyway, it is not like we are getting married,” she pointed out. “I don’t want to be your girlfriend or anything.”

Joe laughed. “Ouch.” He pretended he was hurt and put his hand on his chest. “Are you saying I’m not boyfriend material?”

Y/N/N laughed again, she really enjoyed Joe’s jokes, he was a pleasant guy.

“What I intend to say was that I’m not searching a relationship right now, np that you wouldn’t be good boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I can recognize I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend, anyway.” Joe said shrugging. “I’m not looking for a relationship either.” He admitted.

“See?” Y/N asked, trying to tease him, and raised an eyebrow. “I’m not finding any reasons why we wouldn’t work out!”

Joe laughed with the quick turn Y/N/N gave in the conversation. He knew that her words, althought were meant to be funny, had a bit of true. Being honest, during the talk, even he couldn’t enumerate why he shouldn’t kiss Y/N in that exact instant.

“You know how to conduct a debate, I will give you that.” The boy said.

Y/N/N was smiling and shrugged again. Caspar always had the coolest and nicest friends, she was glad her brother still kept that characterist.

“What should I do, right?” She tipped her index finger in her temple. “I’m the brains in the family.”

Joe gave another laugh, he wouldn’t doubt that.

“By the way, how you and Caspar are sibblings? You don’t even have the same surname.”

Y/N/N smiled of a different kind of happiness in that moment, she loved to tell how she became a part of her true family.

“I’ll simplify things because I really can tell this the whole afternoon, but, basically, I was born in England, my mother split from my dad when I was about ten, so we went to South Africa because she had a job offer in there and she married Caspar’s dad when I was twelve. My father went to Spain.”

“And that’s why you went study there?”

Y/N nodded her head. During a long time, she had serious issues with her father, part of her personal growth was putting this asside. None of them were good with relations, they were too stubborn and proud to handle them.

“My dad still lives there and we agreed that it would be better if I went to a university away from England.”

“What you two are talking about?” Caspar asked as he went downstairs. “You just met, for God’s sake! Someone is having a bit of hedache, you know?”

Y/N/N laughed out loud with Caspar’s speech and Joe couldn’t help but do the same.

“You’re a dick, Caspar.” The younger one said. “This is called hangover.”

“Hangover?” Caspar asked ironically. “Are you sure? No! I didn’t have anything to drink yesterday!”

Y/N/N rolled her eyes for the second time that day.

“This means that you won’t go to Cirque le Soir tonight?”

Caspar starred her. “It almost seems like you don’t know me, sis.”

Joe laughed and teased her, making a funny voice.

“This girl is insane! Talking nonsense things.”

It was Y/N/N’s turn to laugh. Of course that any party was a party to ther brother, they were raised in the same house after all.

“Caspar, don’t you want to call Theo as well?” Y/N asked when her brother joined them at table.

“Fine.” Caspar agreed. “Today is saturday?”

“I guess so.” Joe answered.

“So I think Theo will be able to join us.” He concluded and, afterwards, he looked at Y/N/N. “You saw Theo already?”

Y/N/N opened her mouth of fake surprise, being a dramatic.

“What do you mean by asking if I saw her?” Y/N/N laughed. “Even if I have a stronger bond with you, Theo is my sister as well!” She snapped at him. “By the way, you were there! Theo went pick me on the airpoirt! You thought what? She would come all the way from Africa to see you?” She teased.

Joe laughed at Caspar. Y/N/N landed on England only two days before, there ain’t no way that Caspar couldn’t remember the return of the youngest member of the family.

“I was on the airport, Theo wasn’t!”

Y/N laughed loud again. Gods, Caspar wasn’t worth it. After rolling her eyes, she agreed ironically with him.

“Yes, Caspar, Theo wasn’t in there.”

Caspar could swear for his life that he couldn’t remember the first-born of the Lee in the airport (and he was really trying to remember).

“Okay, let’s say that maybe Theo was there.” He gave in.

“She was!” Y/N/N exclaimed.

“The thing here is that both of you are trying to get out from the matter.” Caspar said trying to look serious. “How you two are so close to each other?”

“You’re the one who’s trying to escape from us, Caspar!” Joe protested by seeing his friend’s audacity.

“No, I’m not!” Caspar snapped back, laughing so much he had no credibility.

“Yes, you’re.” Joe accused.

“Shut up!”

The trio burst into laughs and stopped gradually.

“For real now, when and how this happened?” Caspar asked pointing to his best friend and his sister.

Y/N/N grumbled, she had forgotten that Caspar could be pretty annoying if he wanted to.

“You’re only trying to convince us that you weren’t trying to get out from the ‘Theo was in the airport’ thing.” Y/N/N build her walls up discreetly.

“Too late, Caspar, we already found out your plan.” Joe poked, lifting the right corner of his lip.

Caspar laughed and asked again, creating an imperceptible discomfort in the room.

“I was only telling Joe how we became sibblings.” Y/N/N explained.

“Oh, you didn’t, Y/N/N.” Caspar reproved, getting up to open the fridge to eat something. “Joe won’t be my friend anymore because you killed him with boredom.”

Y/N gave a little smile to Joe, not letting her brother see it, and lift an eyebrow.

“You won’t do this with my poor brother, will you, Joseph Sugg?”

Joe laughed at Y/N/N’s guts.

“Of course not.”

“Great.” Y/N/N said with a fake smile of satisfaction, her eyes sparkling with her little trick. “If you did, I would be forced to use my perverse side on you.”

Joe widened his eyes while giggling, that chick was crazy. Y/N/N laughed out loud.

“Y/N/N is stronger than I am, Joe.” Caspar informed as he came back to the table with his cereals. “I can’t frighten you, but don’t let you be fooled by her angel’s face.”

Y/N/N shrugged and took a sip of her juice, looking to Joe with a self-assured smile. Joe never thought she was made by angels, after all, lust was one of the seven deadly sins.

#i'm sorry if it has any grammar mistakes i just can't take this part anymore it was so long and it took me so much time to translate it all #buttercream boys #Buttercream Gang #buttercream squad #buttercream #buttercream squad fanfic #buttercream boy #ThatcherJoe #Joe Sugg #joe sugg fanfic #caspar lee #caspar #dicasp #caspar lee fanfic #caspar fanfic

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