#I KNOW THIS IS A PRIVELEGED PROBLEM TO HAVE OKAY

[titsthedamnseason]

i think right now my biggest motivation for getting a real person job is that i NEED to be at opening night of taylor’s next tour and i need to have floor tickets to at least one show. i’ve dreamed about doing both forever and with every tour that comes and goes and i miss these once in a lifetime moments i get so sad

[tsuki-sennin]

The Scheme has entered an InteRmission. The game's not over until the Game Master says it's over, so we find ourselves being turned against one another.

What kinda sick game is being played here? Who will win or lose? How will the fox be hunted?

Only one way to find out~! Join me in the lobby for this special edition of Spoilers, I guess...

Remember! If you don't fight, you don't survive!

-Tsumuri seems quite sick of Giroli's shit. Can't really say I blame her.

-I see there's a number of Glare Troopers. ...I assume that's what we're calling them for now until we get an official name.

-"Fuck you Tsumuri. This is my game, you're just an NPC."

-Geats.

-No intro, huh? Wonder if we'll get something like Ex-Aid where there's a long stretch of episodes where the main theme is just that episode's insert.

-Whoever skins the fox becomes God.

-Keiwa's very mad!

-"Why must Riders fight one another!? I've had enough violence!"

-Keiwa :(

-Oh Neon...

-"I see how it is. I have to kick both your asses to keep my godhood. I don't mind. I'm okay with this. Really."

-Yeah, I know you guys don't.

-PUNKJACK AAAA

-HARERUYA WAKE UP MAN

-If you don't fight, you don't survive!

-Ooooooh, making him mad!

-You dirty bastard!

-The gun has more gun!

-Wiiiiin!

-Punkjack is gone.

-The rain has come.

-Fuck you, man.

-The betrayal on their faces, aaaaagh

-Well, seems like somebody's aiming for Godhood.

-Tsumuri-neesan :)

-She brought snacks :)

-He's very lonely, you see.

-What is the point of the fox man's life?

-Mitsume...

-Nooooooo :(

-Hello, Sara-neesan.

-Well, at least she's got understandable goals.

-Keiwa really b goin through it :pensive:

-Heeeeey, Keiwa... buddy... if you wanna talk,

-Dinner...

-"What's wrong, Neon, sweetie :)"

-Yep, Daddy's paying a lot of money for a bunch of assholes to shoot plant people.

-Keiwaaaaa :(

-Oh, the Glare Troopers just

-Change on a whim, okay

-Hunter-san.

-I swear, every time I see Riders fight each other, as overplayed as it may feel, I go "Noooooooo, you're supposed to be bestieeeees! :(("

-Set.

-Set.

-Time for the duel between the Raising Swords.

-Ready, Fight!

-Bust up that warehouse, fellas.

-Full Charge! Twin Set!

-Jet vs. Cannon!

-Push that big-ass hunk-a metal!

-Oh here comes Giroli, with his haxxor admin privelege!

-Delete!

-Ah, so Glare's magic purple balls are straight up weapons too, okay

-OOOOOOOH KEIWA LET'S GOOOO

-GET FUCKED, GAME MASTER

-Niram! Hello!

-The Game Master has been fired.

-Hell yeah Na-Go!

-Oh, he straight up blew up Hareruya.

-"You're fired, bitch."

-Everybody fought for their dreams, in a game full of people just as skilled and terrifying as they are.

-...Keiwa, I agree with you but like... Da-Paan literally attempted genocide, I don't think you should be remembering him that fondly.

-Fuck you, we're not wasting our chance we're taking it!

-Them :)

-Oh whoops, he still strong!

-Kinda love how like

-Skilled female Riders are as of late.

-I'd kinda prefer if they got flashy upgrades too but the way they manage to keep up with odd but versatile abilities is pretty epic, I'll happily admit.

-Oh!

-Giroli has been fired!

-Very replaceable~!

-Goodbye, Giroli.

-"Good job everybody! I hope you all have a good day~!"

-Cats and tanuki trick people too, fox boy :)

-Now we can trick and fight together with impunity~!

-Priority entry~!

-Kamen Riders, let's go~!

-Archimedel, hello!

-Ohhhhh, that's Michinaga's body!

-DON'T LICK HIM EWW

-OOOOOOOOH ZOMBIE SAVED HIM

-Entertainment~!

-The most popular movie star in the world! A celebrity streamer from a multibajillion dollar conglomerate! Some guy!

-These three are the heroes of the Desire Grand Prix!

-Eyes all over the place!

-Bitches from Helheim to CooKingdom to Ideon to Major Land to Planet Police are all waiting with bated breath! Got to go the next round!

-Mr. Kurama, you're kinda fucked in the head for putting your daughter on the line for a reality show.

-Oooooooh, who that!

-...shit, am I part of the problem?

-Oh fuck, new guys.

-I kinda appreciate the constantly rotating cast of Riders.

-It's a nice balance between showing off lots and lots of forms while still giving us new characters to make fun of. The fact that the Riders all have such simplified designs makes it real easy to keep them all straightened out.

-Divergence Game! Please look forward to it!

-Oh shit, that's Powered Builder. That's from the movie!

-See you all next Sunday or so, DGP watchers!

[uwuspaceboy]

hello, i made a deal with god and so i watched one (1) episode of shameless today after my 2 month long ban from the shameless factory. here are my thoughts on 10x8

first things first, i fucking called it i called a mickey ian marriage for spousal privelege from testifying against each other like 4 fucking seasons ago, yes it was for a different thing but i called it none the less

i feel bad for mickey bc he has problems with not feeling like anyone loves him (fuck u terry!!!) and ian hesitating to sign the marriage license after realizing they didn't need to to stay out of prison must've been just like hell for him i'm so sorry

i also totally understand why ian's hesitant about marriage!! his parents are........you know. his sister got married once after knowing a guy for like 4 hours, had a messy divorce, got engaged to another guy at the divorce lawyer meeting, then the wedding got called off moments before the alter bc her fiancee had been using meth again for months without telling her. like, that's not a great endorsement for marriage. it's a big deal i get it, but maybe step outside the marriage license office to have this conversation lol

although i'm not surprised mickey punched ian about maybe not wanting to marry him for all of the above reasons, you can't be punching him mickey!! when yall were teenagers and just fought everyone it was like, yeah okay, they're dumb teenagers who just fight everyone, but you're adults now! use your words mickey! if you want to wife him up you can't be punching him jesus christ

i also thought this was a pretty good lip episode. he's kind of wanted to be a dad for a long time and i think he's pretty good at it, helping taking care of 4 younger siblings really helped you out man

debbie getting sugar momma slay

the face young frank made at the guy whose life he ruined was really funny ngl i laughed out loud

liam is on levels of grift that high school lip could only dream about good for u bud

carl is a sicko. we all know this. also him trying to do the same grift that ian did to get into the army but rolling a nat 1 was great the parallels

also i love kev and v. i have nothing of significance to say about their storyline this ep, but just know that i do in fact love them.

also i miss the other milkovich brothers, idk who all these other milkoviches are also fuck u terry

[serethespider]

having a lot of thoughts about bfp. i wasn't good to people there. i was way too focused on myself and my problems and not nearly focused enough on the work i was there to do and the people who were both doing the most and bearing the brunt of every consequence. i also took it for granted that people would be there to hold my hand through new concepts while trying to convince myself i wasn't. and i'm sorry for it. it was wrong and unfair.

i'm only now starting to really internalize the extent of my own power and privelege and threat as a white person and thus really understand what i did wrong on more than a surface "did i say the right things" level.

i know i was going through a lot (hello several-month span where i used simplified grammar bc my head was always a ball of static) and bfp was a very new kind of space to me on several different axes, but me having a hard time or being new to things doesn't change the impact of my behaviors and attitudes. and it doesn't make it an okay thing to do to people who are more vulnerable than me, and especially not to my friends, and especially not in a space that was primarily for them because they had no others.

i really want to make it up to people, especially reaux, mimi, and aalia, but bfp is gone now and i wasn't invited to the new server, so i think the best way to "make it up" now is to respect that boundary and just. be better from now on in whatever spaces i go on to be part of. decenter myself. uplift and amplify the voices of people who i have power over and who are sidelined for my sake in nearly every space. accept and internalize criticism, the idea that i've caused and am causing harm, instead of giving myself reasons that i'm Actually Good. care more about my impact on other people than how i'm perceived.

i have... a lot of trouble with those last two in general. but it's especially important to work on in this context.

idrk where i'm going with this. just sorting through my feelings, mostly. i hope everyone is doing well in the new server.

[usertiff]

FUCK AMERICA

(assuming this is in ref to my disability post) honestly there's lots of things to say this about like. seriously. yes, fuck america's disability system.

but overall i try to avoid saying things like that. for a few reasons. you didn't ask but i'll tell bc tbh i feel like it needs to be said?

first of all, america (as a country not a region, more specifically USA, but i may use them interchangeably here) is not the only country with widespread systemic issues. and there's a problem with acting like it is. (not you, anon, just ppl in general) because!! acting like the united states is the only country that perpetuates systemic violence/oppression/etc dims the light on other countries that are also perpetuating it, which lets them get away with a lot more. talk to a large handful of europeans or other white non-americans and they will more than likely not see an issue with their own countries. they condemn america while having the same systemic problems in their own region.

i am so tired rn and i never articulate well in the first place so i hope this makes an ounce of sense. pls continue to bare with me.

second, it's sooo shitty to not recognize the pure privilege we have living in america. yes, there's so many problems. but even as a person who lacks privilege in some areas — as someone is ethnically INDIGENOUS to this land (and has suffered at the hands of my ethnicity's most common oppressive problems: poverty, addiction, abuse, loss of ancestry, etc), as someone who is disabled, in poverty, plus sized, as someone with a mixed ethnicity family, lesbian — i still know that there is privilege to living here. yes, a lot of the privilege that others have here (cishet, thin, abled, wealthy white men being the really shiny example lol) is stripped from me, yeah shady stuff happens here within our government just like everywhere else, but like... for the most part, i can say things "freely" without fear (again, for the most part).

and like, with war happening in so many places... so many lives being lost... like... i'm grateful to be where i am. would i love to not be in america? somewhere with a prettier view? lively culture? sure, sounds nice. but it's not realistic and i have to be okay with where i'm at.

i hate certain parts of america. don't consider this post being me patriotic LMFAOOO no this place sucks for so many reasons. i hate hate hate hate so many circumstances that i'm personally in. so many aspects of my reality. so many aspects of the shittier parts of america. poverty, racism, lack of healthcare ESPECIALLY because im disabled, disability system, prison system, police infrastructure, lack of community, the list goes on...

but it's like you honestly have to accept that it's better than some alternatives. no country/land is perfect. certainly not european countries like so many claim, and there are SO many problems we have to tackle. you have to admit how privileged it is to be here.

does being here mean you have all these priveleges? obviously not. i mentioned that above. it just means i have the privelege of not fearing for my life constantly, or sldkfjsldkfj honestly idk rn

im so tired and im so sorry for like rambling ON but 1. tbh i needed to focus on something other than my own head atm, and 2. lowkey needs to be said?

[books-and-catears]

"Trustfalls!"

Adventures of Chaotic MC!

On a quiet unassuming day in Devildom, where everyone was finally minding their own business and peace was at an all time high - MC sent a message in the group chats.

MC: Help! I'm stuck! Please come to the backyard!

And they all rush there. No questions asked. "MC?! Where are you?!" They call until you shout and wave from high above, standing on the edge of the terrace ledge.

"I was getting bored, so I decided to do an extreme trustfall challenge!" You scream, laughing at their bewildered faces.

"Oh don't worry it's easy-peasy! I'll just fall backwards from here and you gotta catch me! Understood?! Okay here I go!" You barely gave them a 3 second warning till you launch yourself off.

Lucifer

Catches you in midair and drags you inside the house. You're grounded.

Who raised this problem child? No seriously, he just wants to have a talk with your guardian.

Now the door to the terrace is locked. Are you happy with what you've done?

Secretly puts a tracking charm on you that alerts him whenever you're putting yourself in danger. He put a similar one on Mammon.

Mammon

Barely catches you. Wobbles and falls down himself.

Oi human! What's the big idea?! You trying to win a bet or something?!

If yes, how much are you winning? Let the Great Mammon in on that action. Ouch Lucifer, what are ya hitting his head for?

Did Lucifer give you that charm? I have one just like it! No idea what it does tho ?!!

Leviathan

Tries to catch you but by some shoujo anime twist of fate, you land lips first on his lips.

MC, are you trying to get BOTH of us killed at once?!! His face is now as red as a clown's nose.

He knows your trustfall was inspired by the latest anime you watched together and he doesn't wanna take responsibility for it-

Don't look at him MC, he is traumatized by your lips now.

Satan

Slows down your fall with magic and you float down gently into his open arms.

MC, you're only supposed to make Lucifer's life hell not his-

No you can't meow your way out of this one. He won't give you the terrace key if you just- no, stop that - stop meowing- ah godamnit here's the key.

Levi, looks like we need to be more selective about what animes you let MC's watch with you.

Asmodeus

Flutters into the air and makes a dramatic moment of saving you.

Oh MC, you know he loves danger and drama as much as you do - but there's easier ways to get his attention!

Yes he's aware that he can fly you down to the ground now but you look so much cuter in his arms.

Oh stop screaming Mammon, he's only borrowing MC for awhile.

Beelzebub

Catches you like an oversized volley ball. What a magnificent himbo.

Checks you all over for any bruises or pains. Yes he's done checking but he likes checking you now. So he won't stop 'checking' you for a while.

Please don't scare him like that MC 🥺 Seriously MC look at that face

Remember how you watch the fridge for him. He's gonna watch the terrace now.

Belphegor

Teleports a spare mattress where you fall. Low effort but efficient.

And you say we are hard to deal with MC? Wait are his brothers influencing you?

How about this prank instead - you, him asleep for the next 12 hours. That'll surely be chaotic enough for you.

If you try that stunt from your room, you will lose window priveleges too, MC- no stop!

[randomthoughts-frommm]

My issue this Christmas...

Okay so let's talk Harry Potter.

I LOVE Harry Potter. Both the books and the movies. They're very important to me and have been since I was a child. Naturally, I was upset and frustrated with the JK stuff that happened, but I made the decision to continue my love for Harry Potter. I can't just toss it aside, though I acknowledge the books and movies all have their issues.

In my mind, JK has never ever been part of that experience for me. If it wasn't for the internet I would hardly know or care that she existed, and if it hadn't made into my google news feed, I wouldn't have known about any of the things she said. I consume books, I don't care too much about their authors, within reason. I also think that it's possible to be critical of media and media creators while still enjoying it.

So I don't support JK, but I love HP, and I've been trying my best to be consciencious in my support. I'm not going to see nay new movies in cinemas, and I'm not going to buy any new books from said authors. I even tried to make sure I got my own copies of the books second hand, though ended up getting new copies last Christmas.

So this year, I know I"m getting a replica timeturner from Pandora. This is something that I showed my Mum like, 'how cute is this, I'd accept this for Christmas' without thinking about it too much (I know I"m priveleged, I have the ability to totally separate author from book. I know some people can't and respect peoples' choices to stop engaging with the books and movies entirely. You do you, and do what you need to feel happy and safe).

Anyway the problem is that we are having Chistmas with my sister in law and my brother. They are both super judgemental, and have both taken the firm stance that HP no longer exists to them. Each to their own.

But I am feeling so extremely anxious about opening my timeturner with them there and having them call me out on not cancelling the whole thing.

I don't want to have to defend my continued love of something. I don't want to see the disapproving look on their faces. I don't want them to make me feel bad about liking a thing.

Heeeeeellllppp

P.S. If you are blocking the series and the author out of your life completely, I totally support that and will happily avoid engaging in the topic with you. I believe that everyone should engage with media in a way that makes them feel safe and happy.

P.P.S If you are a terf or fully support she-who-shall-not-be-named, then kindly leave and do not engage with this. At al. This isn't for you.

[4shfur]

I know it's Valentine's day and I know everyone what here has way better this to do then look at my dumb posts but I'm an idiot and I'm venting again

I hate when my parents use my pronouns. Everyone else are like "ze/he sorry" but it feels like my parents say in such a condescending way, especially my dad. "Sorry, ze." My dad won't even use he/him, when I told him he acted like I was being ridiculous, and launched into a talk about hope he/him lesbians and stuff are unconventional. I have so many more pronouns I wanna use, star/starself and gem/gemself (I told my sister I like star and she told my parents without my permission) and I don't wanna start using them because I'm so terrified my parents will judge me, or tell everyone. I hate it. Just pretend I never came out. Pretend I'm still your little girl.

I've started track, and it's okay but it's also an hour and a half every day of being consistently misgendered. My mom just says I should come out. I'm already extremely self conscious about so many things other than gender, my clothes, my body, my running, my voice, and you want me to come out to a whole bunch of strangers that might be transphobic?! I wish I had never come out. Everything would be so much easier.

But I'm being stupid! So many other people have been kicked out of their houses, or have had transphobic parents and I'm here complainjng like a child! I'm so pathetic. I haven't had a meltdown in a week. Am I not as hurt as I think? Why do I feel sad! Why do I need horrible mental health to make me feel special. I'm pathetic. I'm a fake. I'm a useless, horrible, nobody. Oh look, now I'm crying. I'm so, I'm so sorry I had to force all of my problems on you all, I know I'm horrible, I know there are people in worse positions than me, I'm sorry I'm not helping them and instead I'm just wasting away over here.

I've only told one person on my life and me problems. My girlfriend. I feel horrible. I know they have problems too, self hate problems and I try so hard to help her, I wish I could just fix everything, she's so kind to me and so supportive, and she's told me over and over that I shouldn't self harm and that I'm worth it and I'm a good person and I'm still over here.... I don't know! I should be fixed, I should be a normal person. Why can't I be okay?!

There's something wrong with me. A defect or a problem. I wish someone could just tell me what it is. I wanna get a diagnosis of anything. Just give me a name for my problem. I'm so obsessed with people telling me seriously. Why can't I take myself seriously?! Why does it always feel like a constant battle of whether or not I'm allowed to be nice to myself. Am I giving myself priveleges by telling myself good job?! I'm not sure about anything about me. I don't know who I am

[queerlytical]

Unpacking my aversion to cis-het men - 08/12/2020

This is going to be a long one.  One I’m quite nervous about posting about even when I’m here anonymously!

Will probably refer to cis-het men as men/guys generally in this post btw. & the ex I refer to here is a guy I was with for 5 years which was an emotionally abusive relationship. 

I’ve recently started to challenge my feelings towards cis-het men.  Accepting that I have the judgement that all men are basically weak minded by not challenging society as it is (and therefore accepting of all the oppression), and are desperately affected by toxic masculinity.  

A small part of my brain knows that’s not true.  I have a couple of cis-het male friends who I love and are clearly not like that.  But when I think “what would be the problem if I ended up with a man in the future?” the other part of my brain immediately shuts the idea down like “why would you do such a thing?! you only like women, end of story”.  Thinking that the guys  who are open minded and unpacking their own priveleges/opinions etc. are so few and far between there is probably none left out there for me to meet.  

So I decided to challenge this notion.  And perhaps there is some underlying internal homophobia conflicting with these thoughts at the same time like “if I just gave men a chance.” or “it would be so much easier to just find a guy who is interested in me” (there is a lot underlying that quote tho - not that many wlw in my area, my personal feelings towards myself as to how cis-het men perceive me).

Along with challenging this notion, I have basically been craving to be dominated and penetrated in the bedroom, with no particular strings attached.  The people I’ve slept with this year weren’t great experiences and I just wanted someone to push me around and top me.  I know there are women who would gladly do that but the women I tend to date haven’t been like that and I’ve always been more of the top than the bottom.  I have never entertained a guy for sex where I have decided for myself that this is what’s going to happen, I’ve always been pursuaded into it (I didn’t learn about consent until the last couple of years, clearly). I wanted to feel that control.  I wanted to be the one to say, I’ve decided this this time.  And to see, how I would actually feel given that this was something I wanted and not sort of forced onto me.

I changed my Bumble search to include “everyone”.  Note that I had also ran out of women in my search radius by this stage so it was just men coming up now.  It was interesting.  I noticed that there are a lot of guy profiles that are basically the same - “where can you be found after work? the gym” or “what do you quote too much from? the office, US”.  Literally after swiping for about 10 minutes I could have written the exact same profile as like 40% of these profiles I was now faced with.  

I obviously ended up swiping left for the majority of guy profiles.  I paid more attention to the men who had kind eyes, nice smiles, beards (I love a beard strangely enough), and anything interesting in their profile.  I struggled to swipe right on white men in particular. I think this makes sense due to:

 my ex being white and racist (and I have a tendency to want to get as far as possible from this particular ex), 

a close friend who was my only white cis-het friend who then turned out to be a racist tory

my dad who is white, racist and homophobic (not terribly but enough to make me uncomfortable to discuss anything with him).  

Plus the general consensus that white cis-het men are the most priveleged in society and they can never understand someone like me, right?  Let alone have done any of the unpacking and learning about their own privilege..  

I matched with a few guys and had brief conversations with them before getting overwhelmed about messaging people on dating apps (happens whenever I can’t keep on top of messaging like more than one person at a time).  There were some okay chats, nothing overly flirty.  Some voicenotes which freaked me out a little, not 100% sure why hearing men’s voices so early after speaking to someone online scares me, but it’s probably because I’m not as comfortable sending voicenotes myself.  

There was a lot of me saying to myself “what am I doing?! LOLOLOL”

I’m going to talk about one of the guys in particular now.  We’ll call him Z.  Z’s profile was very minimal, basically just said “ask if you want to know more”.  But he had a nice face, lovely smile, and his first picture even looked quite feminine in the face - he has super long eyelashes and due to the lockdown hair he was wearing a hairband.  He’s Asian (Sikh) like my two closest friends.  I have spoken to him more than any of the other matches from Bumble.  We don’t really talk much of substance.  I told him I’m “basically a lesbian” quite early on  and he told me he’d been healing from a long relationship and was now “ready to have some fun”.  He didn’t seem particularly phased that I was into women, didn’t say anything cringey like “don’t worry, I’ll turn you” (which is what I used to get when I was younger).  This pushed the conversations in a direction where it was kind of agreed that this was all a bit of fun - flirty, sexual.  

My first experience with a guy being interested me back in high school eventually turned into a FWB situation so this type of relationship I am used to and basically expect from men..  I’m not particularly bother by this atm but might unpack this some more at some point.   

Anyway, as me and Z are just having some fun, I’ve not been vulnerable or told him much about things I care about - I don’t even think he knows my full name. It has actually been a breath of fresh air when I’ve been with people who are too intense for me throughout my dating life.  He is very much the kind of person I would never usually interact with too- likes and plays football, hangs with a group of “lads”.  I don’t think we have anything in common yet we still manage to chat (albeit with gaps of many hours in between some messages).

What did interest me about Z quite early on in our conversations is that he never said the word “girls”, always “women”.  I pointed this out to him and he confirmed he did that on purpose because he wouldn’t want to be referred to as a “boy” and that women deserve the same language used when referencing grown ass women.  This sticks in my mind as it definitely broke down one of my mental barriers around men not being able to understand “what’s the big deal”.  I think that’s probably why I’ve managed to speak to him for as long as we have.  Later on he also mentioned that people “can’t be fat shaming” which surprised me even more.  (Does my brain think cis-het men live under a rock or something?!).

We’ve been speaking 3 weeks at this stage.  We agreed to meet this weekend.  We ended up delaying it from Sunday to last night (Monday) because he was tired from a busy weekend and “wanted to give me the full experience”.  Surprisingly this didn’t make me super cringe.  I think I was probably more relieved to delay it another day as I was pretty nervous about how it would go, my head overthinking like - what if we have nothing to talk about? what if he comes all this way and I change my mind (as I am of course allowed to)? what if he’s a catfish and hurts me? etc. etc.  I don’t overthink this much when I date women.

So he was on his way.  I was running in circles getting ready like “WHAT AM I DOING?!!!”.  I had some rum to take the edge off and played the piano anxiously while he was on the way as something to take my mind off thinking about what was about to happen.

He arrived.  He was who he said he was.  He was the person who was in his pictures.  He was slightly slimmer than I expected but that was just the angles that his pictures were taken in.  It wasn’t awkward.  I poured us a drink and we sat on the sofa and chatted for a couple of hours.  He talked a lot, I hardly got a word in edgeways.  I didn’t mind as it put me at ease that there was no awkward silences. 

We finished our drinks.  I hadn’t left the heating on in my lounge so it had gotten quite cold..  I got closer to him.  Then we kissed.  It was nice.  I love kissing anyone who’s a good kisser no matter their gender. The excitement of the whole situation turned me on and we took it to my bedroom.

I struggled to look at him naked although when I did, I didn’t feel strange like I thought I would.  Obviously there is nothing wrong with the male form, I just haven’t seen a dude naked in my bedroom for years and when I was younger I used to tell myself I had phallophobia..  The sex was pretty much what I was looking for.  He didn’t bring a condom though which didn’t annoy me loads in the moment, despite him saying “I prefer without but ok” to which I replied “I don’t know where you’ve been” *eye roll*.  I thankfully had my own condoms (my stash usually for making dental dams, yno) but after I was kind of thinking to myself like “who the fuck goes to have casual sex with someone and doesn’t bring a condom when they have a penis?!”. I didn’t even let my ex bare-back me let alone some random dude.  

Anyway, I did it.  Consensual sex was better than any sex I had with my ex (not surprising).  He didn’t make me climax but it felt good (sex isn’t goal orientated for me but I know it was for him, as I assume it is with most men).  We held each other and chatted naked for a while after.  I think he wanted round 2 but I’m not sure I could have handled it.  He left relatively promptly after and I felt.. content.

I think I got what I wanted out of the experience.  It definitely boosted my confidence.  I’m not sure if I’ll see him again yet.  I definitely still feel very queer and mostly into women, I missed boobs a lot (like what do het-women hold onto?).

Part of me is like “okay next step is to see what it would be like to go on a romantic date with a guy” - something I have never ever done.  I don’t think I’ve been interested in it in the past (since growing up that is).  I can’t even imagine what it would be like because I would probably just treat them as my friend and have no clue how to flirt (if I even wanted to flirt).  But there are many conflicting thoughts about dating men romantically - what if it’s a success?  I’d end up feeling disowned by my new queer friends or judged by them, or what if I hurt someone?  how will dating guys impact how I feel about my own queerness??  I just settled back into my queer identity and now it feels I’m going backwards again.

I am definitely enjoying this new side to me that doesn’t take dating seriously and being comfortable that I don’t want a relationship right now and that’s okay!  I am continually learning about myself and trying to breakdown my own barriers so I can be my most true authentic self.  I’m having fun, and doing what’s best for me.  Which is a complete u-turn on the person I was less than a few years ago who just wanted to please everyone and was so depressed and burnt out doing so.

[bluerosewrites]

For writing ask thing: could you do irondad and 10?

10. "Come here, you need a hug"

Tony knew from the second his Spiderkid walked through the door of the lab that something was wrong. But the stubborn Spiderling wasn't responding to the usual tactics.

Peter had dropped his backpack with more energy than necessary, and his eyebrows were knitted into a fierce scowl. He refused to meet Tony's eyes and gave only non-committal, one word answers to the inquiries the mechanic made.

Tony sighed but left the kid to stew while they worked. He could hear tools being dropped with less care than normal, and muttering of oaths under breaths as the kid worked on his web-shooters. Finally, he had enough.

"Alright, that's it, kid, c'mere," Tony said, an edge creeping into his voice. He just wanted to help, and his kid wasn't letting him.

Peter let out a dramatic sigh and dropped the tools he was working with. He dragged himself over to the other side of the lab, eyes trained on the floor.

"What is it, Spiderbaby?" Tony began, hoping the nickname might get enough rise out of the boy that he'd respond with more than one syllable this time. He wasn't disappointed.

"Mr. STARK! I'm NOT a baby!" Peters eyes finally met Tony's, and the mechanic was trying hard not to laugh at the reaction he'd gained from the kid. His kid.

"Oh, yeah?" Tony crossed his arms over his chest in mock annoyance as the kid's hands remained clenched into fists. "Could have fooled me. You're doing a pretty damn good impression of one."

Peter rolled his eyes with a sigh. "You don't get it, Mr. Stark," clenched fists were released in favor of the kid running his hands through his unkempt curls.

Tony leaned toward the kid, their foreheads almost touching. "Oh, yeah? Try me."

"It's just.... aughhh... I don't even know how to put it in words... But, like, everything is just so HARD and everything I do I SUCK at and no one understands. I'm doing my best but there's so much more I could be doing and I'm not and I still have these damn nightmares and I'm so TIRED and it just piles on and then Flash or somebody will do or say something and I--" the words spilled out of Peter like a river overflowing a dam. He didn't know how to say there was simultaneously nothing and everything wrong, all at once. That he didn't feel he was living up to his potential but he didn't know how. That he was just in survival mode.

"Oh, kid," Tony breathed. "Hey, can you open your eyes?" Peter didn't realize he'd squeezed his eyes shut during his rant until he heard Tony's request. He complied, and his tear-filled eyes met the mechanic's own. Tony unfolded his arms and his hands made their way to Peter's head, one cupping the kid's chin and the other gently tousling his curls.

"Now, I want you to listen to me," the billionaire began, "You are an incredible person that I am priveleged to know. And I know it's hard living two lives. But you don't ever have to feel like you're not living up to your potential, okay?" Tony's hands fell to his knees as the kid's chin dropped and he stared at the floor once more. Tony frowned briefly before continuing in a lighter tone, "I mean, unless you suddenly start not being able to beat Cap at pizza-eating or something. THEN we might have a problem."

Tony was relieved to hear laughter coming from the Spiderkid as Peter raised his gaze to Tony's once more. The kid swiped the back of his hand across his nose. "You mean it? I'm ok just being who I am?"

Tony set his hand on the kid's shoulder. "More than okay, kid. There's nothing you could do that would make me not want to be here for you. And I want to hear about what's going on in your life. Whether it's Flash or what happened on patrol or how MJ is giving you hell at decathlon practice," Tony pretended not to notice the fresh blush staining the kid's cheeks at the mention of Michelle, "I wanna hear about everything. Nightmares and all."

Peter felt a small smile begin to form on his face. "Really?" He asked his mentor softly in disbelief.

"Really, really," the mechanic replied. "Now, come here, you need a hug."

Peter swiped a hand across his wet cheeks and runny nose before practically launching himself into the billionaire's arms. Tony let out a small chuckle as he gathered the teen into his arms, carding his fingers through the boy's curls. The pair just sat there for a while, Peter curling into his mentor as the latter continued to soothe the teen.

Tony pressed his lips to the top of Peter's curls before drawing back to better look at the teen, "Now, I don't think we're going to get anything else done in here, what do you say to some hot cocoa and a movie? Say... One of the Star Wars films you love so much?"

Peter's head shot up from the mechanic's shoulder, almost clipping him in the chin as he did so, "Well with good reason! George Lucas is a GENIUS. Can we do a marathon? Ooh should we start from the chronological beginning or the cinematic one?" Peter continued his musings as he popped up onto his feet and began gesticulating wildly.

Tony tousled the kid's curls with a wry chuckle. "Let's start with one, bambino, and see where we get. But we can order in some food and make it a real party. Whatcha feeling? Pizza? Chinese? Shawarma?"

Peter stopped his pacing with a wicked grin. "Is it possible to have all three? I am a growing boy after all,"

Tony laughed as the pair made their way to the elevator. He slung an arm around Peter's shoulders. "Whatever you want, kid, Lord knows I can afford to feed you." He pressed the button for the right floor with a grin, saying, "We might need to call in reinforcements to finish all that food, though."

Peter rolled his eyes. "I thought you had faith in me, Mr. Stark!"

"Oh, I do," the mechanic replied, "But if the rest of the team finds out we're having a marathon without them?" Tony shakes his head. " No, better to invite them and order extra food." The pair laugh at the thought, knowing Tony's right.

The elevator slows, reaching the destination. "Thanks, Mr. Stark," says Peter softly. "For everything."

He isn't sure Tony heard him until he heard an equally soft, "Anytime, kid."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you liked it @romeoandjulietyouwish! Thanks for the ask, I appreciate you!

I'm tempted to turn this into more, I can see there being shenanigans at the movie marathon. Let me know what you guys think!

[robuttsinyourthighs]

Hey guys! Recently there have been a lot of issues in my work life. Let's do a quick recap

1. The company I work for claimed it was essential and said it provided life saving equipment to hospitals and essential first responders. It's pretty much a front and they could have limited sales to JUST those things but they didn't and a branch got hit with a positive case and had to close for two weeks.

2. I'm the only person at work unable to work remotely even part time, but everyone else they rotate or have exclusively at home.

3. I feel my job was threatened because I spoke up about it and told people I wasn't comfortable with coming in as one of my roommates works with the public and we literally never know if I could be bringing something in. My manager asked that I be a team player, and that if I felt that uncomfortable "you can stay home, but once your PTO is gone we can't continue to pay you. You'd still have your job here" meaning they would not let me go on unemployment for my own safety.

4. Another roommate was Potentially exposed you a confirmed case and we all had to self quarantine for 14 days. My company tried to get me to cut it short.

NOW HERE'S THE PART WHERE MY JOB IS IN JEOPARDY 🙃

With TikTok there was a recent #Blackout movement where black creators, other POC and white allies flooded the tags with #blacklivesmatter and #blackvoicesheard in order to show how the app unfairly targets people of color and suppress their content because it isn't on brand with what tiktok feels is marketable and instead says it's to help prevent these people from "being bullied".

I brought this up to a coworker while talking about what a cool movement it was and it's success. She was very intrigued and thought it was great (as it is!) that people are listening to people of color and speaking out over something so wrong.

The topic of white privilege came up. She said it didn't exist.

I disagreed and while explaining to her what it was just by definition and examples she got upset and chose to go on a racist tangent. She said the following:

"The blacks get things we don't. They get scholarships for school, white people don't!"

"My daughter (white) was denied a scholarship for minorities even though she's a minority! The denial letter said it was because she isn't black!"

She refused to acknowledge that the term "minorities" is more commonly used to describe race and not just what someone arbitrarily decides it means to suit their current situation (like her claiming that being a FEMALE biker makes her a minority in general and not just a minority when referring to being a biker).

SHE USED THE N-WORD WITH A HARD R AND ASKED ME "WHY DO THE BLACKS GET TO SAY IT AND WE (whites) CAN'T IF IT'S SO BAD? THE WORD OFFENDS ME AND THEY SHOULDN'T SAY IT UNLESS EVERYONE CAN"

I was so taken aback by her tangent after I had been calm and respectful and stuck to facts and definitions and I told her what she said was racist. She blew up and said she wasn't racist because she "grew up and worked with blacks" and that they "respected her".

I told her that the way she talked about people of color and thinking the way she did about what white privilege meant was denying that there is still a problem with racism in this country and therefore a racist way of thinking. It's what having white privilege means: not having to experience things that people of color do and having the privelege to even debate it exists.

She again got mad and told me she didn't want to talk anymore. I had to get the last word in edgewise because at this point her opinion on racial issues is invalid to me, so I told her "okay. Enjoy being racist."

When I walked away to my desk she followed me and proceeded to point her finger at me and tell me I wasn't allowed to call her racist. She said it was only my opinion. I told her it was a fact and that she was actually racist regardless of my opinion on things.

She then told me there were "plenty of things" she could call me (meaning just insult me) so I called over to her as she marched away, "You can call me an asshole if you want but it won't make you any less racist!"

Immediately after this confrontation I emailed my supervisor and HR manager and let them know I didn't feel comfortable working with this person due to her antiquated beliefs and troubling racist opinions.

I know most companies wouldn't hesitate to snip snip someone like that from the payroll, but here's the problem.

I'm in Missouri. It's a yeeyee good ole boy state a lot of times. The office also has a very small pool of people and this lady has been with the company for YEARS and is close to many people there. I HIGHLY DOUBT they would do anything in any way to reprimand her or educate her on her inappropriate thoughts and ways of speaking because it didn't happen between her and a person of color.

Even if it did I'm sure that the company would tell them what this place tells me when people are openly disrespectful. "don't take it so personally".

They hardly ever hire anyone of color and it just seems fitting that they won't handle this the way I hope it would be.

So yeah. High stress and looking for a new job. We'll see what happens in Tuesday after this holiday. I'll try to keep my phone recording in case someone says something to me like she did on Friday.

[thesarcasticramen]

Rain Rain Go Away (Come Again Another Day)

Adrien Agreste hated the rain.

He hated the way that the once bright blue sky would be concealed by gray clouds. He hated the cold that was brought on by the change of climate and the wet of being showered. He hated how it dampens a what could be wonderful chance to bathe in sunlight and how it slows down the pacing of the day. He knew what people thought of him. He knew that they think he's incapable of the word "hate" because he likes to find the silver lining in almost everything. Unfortunately, he is capable of loathing after all because he definitely can't find a silver lining on a rainy day. Maybe it's due to his jaded perception, but frankly, there just isn't one.

Adrien Agreste hated the rain because it was raining the day his father entered his room, looking the most horrified and devastated he has ever seen. He could still remember that day like it was yesterday: the slow and calculated steps his father made towards him, the icy lost expression in his eyes, and the words that shattered Adrien's life forever. Adrien Agreste hated the rain because it was raining when his world tilted upside down. It was raining the day his mother disappeared.

Years later, he thought he could move past it but he can't. His relationship with his father detoriated further and so did his relationship with the rain.

When he received the black cat miraculous, he found a ticket to his freedom. It may grant him only temporary occassions but if he was given the chance to breathe and leave his depressing life behind even for just a few hours, he jumped at it. So when he donned the mask, he was no longer Adrien Agreste, the broken boy with the perfect image, he was Chat Noir, the hero of Paris.

He loved saving people, serving his city alongside the love of his life. He loved being free from the confinement of his prison of a mansion and the restraints of his reputation and responsibilities as a teen model. He loved being with the miraculous Ladybug who accepted him for his flawed persona. He loved being able to jump from one building to another, laughing without a care in the world, throwing all his problems out of the window and actually live. He loved the priveleges that was tied to the ring but all of those things still did nothing about his hatred for the rain. He still abhors it with every fiber of his being. In fact, more so now that he seems to manifest some parts of a cat's nature and one of them is not being a fan of water.

Chat Noir hated the rain because that was the day that Ladybug looked sadly but straight in the eye and crushed his heart. After a particularly difficult akuma that they managed to handle but without a series of unfortunate mistakes and failures, they got into a fight. It was a battle even bigger than the one they just had. With three remaining pads on his ring and three spots on his lady's earrings, they faced each other in a heated argument.

"You should've stuck with the plan!" Ladybug fumed.

"If I did, you could've gotten hurt! I wouldn't know how to live with myself if I let that happen," he defended himself.

"But we put a lot more people in danger because you chose to abandon your post and catch that hit for me." He was about to say something but she refused to listen to him. "No Chat! Getting hurt is all part of being a superhero. When I accepted my miraculous, I also accepted that part of the job."

"But milady—" She didn't get it. She just didn't get it, did she?

"Chat, you have to stop being self-sacrificial and think before you leap. You can't just mess with the plan and run into your improvised ideas headfirst—"

"I was just trying to protect you!"

"Well, I don't need your protection!" She snapped angrily and that's when Chat Noir flinched at the harshness and the edge of her voice, a sudden constriction seizing his chest and there was a prick in his eyes and a lump in his throat. (Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.)

Of course, she didn't need protection. She was strong, she was smart and she was amazing with or without his idiocy, possibly better without. What made him think he was actually needed?

None of them spoke for a little while until his ring beeped and her earrings followed. Ladybug sighed and softened when he brought his head down in defeat (and shame and shame and shame). Chat tensed when he felt her hand land on his shoulder and he refused to meet her gaze. He didn't want to see any more of her disappointment.

"Chat," she called softly, the gentleness that she used whenever she comforted him returning. His heart would've fluttered if she used that voice when she was talking to him any other day but now, he's soaked in the rain and his heart was throbbing painfully instead. "Hey, I know you were just looking out for me and I appreciate it. But...Paris needs your protection more than I do. What I need, is your trust and support."

Chat nodded solemnly and swallowed but the lump remained. Ladybug squeezed his shoulder, making him look up at her and she smiled. "Besides, nobody makes a better team than we do, remember?" she giggled, hoping to ease the tension between them. It was the most wonderful sound he has ever heard.

When their miraculouses beeped again, Ladybug smiled and walked towards the edge of the roof that they were standing on. Chat Noir watched her with his fists shaking and his heart rampaging. It's not fair. She doesn't understand. Can't she see that— "I'm in love with you!"

Chat Noir bit his tongue and immediately regretted saying that aloud. Ladybug almost slipped at his sudden confession but she stopped from her tracks and froze. Chat Noir never felt truer terror at the silence that reigned after his impulsive action. Stupid! He shouldn't have said that! A part of him rejoiced for finally coming clean and hoping that now she knows that all his flirting and endearments and protection for her are all just fruit of his feelings for her. Because Chat Noir is hopelessly head-over-heels in love with Ladybug, and there's all that there is to it.

Ladybug spun and maybe it was just the rain blurring his view or making the mood dramatic and bleak but Chat Noir felt his heart sink when he stared at her cerulean blue eyes—eyes that were always full of wonder and hope that he loved the most—which held nothing but sadness in them. After a few seconds of opening and closing her mouth, she struck the final blow of a rainy day. "I'm sorry Chat Noir."

Chat Noir stood there, watching as his beloved leaped away leaving him alone on the roof, tears falling, body shivering, and heart cracked in two.

After the rejection, Adrien became open to how he despised the rain. The week that followed was the worst one he ever had. His signature smile replaced by a somber face that almost made everybody think he was mourning for somebody's death. (He was mourning for his heart.) He went on with his day like a zombie and he knew about all the worried glances that his classmates and friends threw at him. He dodged Nino's questions, Alya's journalistic skills, and Chloe's attempts of "cheering him up." Plagg was sympathetic and kept his nagging to a minimum. He loved his chosen and it hurts him to see Adrien hurting like this. Still, he kept his mouth shut about his knowledge because his meddling with mortals' love lives will earn nothing but Tikki's fury.

Friday came and even his teachers had given up on trying to know what was going on with him. They were dismissed for the day and he was packing his things, already itching to transform and run across rooftops for the rest of the day, when somebody bumped into his back that almost made him topple over if it weren't for the desk in front of him.

"Eek!" somebody squeaked. "I'm s-so sorry Adrien! I d-didn't mean to jump you—I mean, b-bump into you!"

Adrien turned around and saw a very flushed and stuttering Marinette behind him as she profusely apologized. "I-It's just that I'm so clumsy and you're right in front of me—I-I'm not saying i-it's your fault! You're amazing! I-I mean no! I-I mean yes! B-But I tripped! A-And I really hope I didn't hurt you—"

Her eyes widened. "O-Oh no! I didn't hurt you right?! I didn't leave any marks on your gorgeous face—I mean normal face that will make you miss photoshoots? A-Are you okay? I'm so so so sorry! I r-really didn't see you and—crap, i-if your dad wants to press charges, it's okay—"

Adrien quickly reassured her with a small smile. "Hey, it's fine Marinette. I'm okay and there's absolutely no need to talk about pressing charges. It was just an accident." He closed his messenger bag and wore the strap. "How about you? Are you okay? Nothing broken?" he asked, half-teasingly and half-worriedly.

He noticed how Marinette blushed a darker red and started to stutter again until she settled for a nod and a wide abashed smile. Adrien almost forgot about what he wanted to do that afternoon. His classmate never failed to amuse him. "Wanna walk together?" he offered.

Marinette flailed her arms everywhere in panic and Adrien didn't know if it was something he did or said that made her act like that. He wasn't oblivious to the different treatment that he received from Marinette and most of the time, he's bothered by it. He hoped that they were past the bubblegum incident and she no longer disliked him. Maybe it was because of who his father was and who he was. After all, Marinette was an aspiring fashion designer. Whatever the reason was, he just didn't want it to get in the way of a wonderful friendship with the class representative.

Adrien was about to duck inside the car parked in front after bidding Marinette a quick goodbye when Marinette stopped him. "A-Adrien, wait!"

Curious, Adrien turned his attention back to her. Did he forget something? Marinette took a deep breath and a look of determination took over her gaze that seemed strikingly familiar to Adrien. Where did he see that expression before?

"W-We couldn't help but notice that you seem to be going through something right now a-and...I just want you to know that we're all here for you. You can always talk to any of us, t-to me," Marinette said with a sincere smile.

For the first time that week, Adrien felt happy, felt loved. Somebody cared for him. A smile tugged at his lips and it was probably the biggest one he had shown since the rejection. "Thanks Marinette. You're such a great friend."

The peace didn't last. There was an akuma attack the same day. Despite the dread that was gnawing at his gut at the idea of seeing his la—partner even if it has been days. Adrien shook his head and transformed. He was a superhero for crying out loud. He can't just abandon his duty to his city just because of a heartbreak.

They were a mess. He kept as much distance from Ladybug as he could and they had trouble communicating. Ladybug sensed the air around him but didn't say a word about it. If they used to work like a well-oiled machine, then they appear to be more of a busted engine now. Still, they managed to save the day. He was about to make an exit when Ladybug held her fist out for their traditional victory fist bump and looked at him expectantly.

Chat Noir knew he had every right to turn his head away and leave. He was still getting over her "I'm sorry." He had the right to space and time. A selfish part of him told him that she deserved to feel the same pain of being rejected to let her know how it felt when she stabbed him in the heart.

But he loved Ladybug as much as he loved Paris. They can't afford to put their people at risk just because he was still pouting about his unrequited crush. He can't afford to lose an incredible friendship with one of his best friends either. Even if it seems impossible, he has to move on and settle with the fact that she'll never see and love him the way he wanted. So, smiling (and trying to ignore the pang), he bumped his fist with hers. Her bright smile was so blinding and he wanted to hit himself for still being weak in the knees for it. He nodded a farewell and leapt away, the load lesser than before.

They were going to be okay.

That night, after recharging Plagg, he was enjoying an evening of a solo patrol. He wanted some time alone to think and just enjoy the breeze and lights. He had no place in mind and let his feet take him wherever they could until he spotted a recognizable pair of blue pigtails and pink pants. He halted and her words earlier that day echoed inside his mind. "Maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to take her up on her offer," he whispered.

She was immersed in her sketchbook with her tongue out the corner of her mouth, a thing she does when she's deep in concentration that he found adorable. A steaming mug of hot chocolate and a plate of half-finished sweets were in front of her. Chat Noir watched her for a little bit longer, not knowing how to approach his classmate. Would it be too unusual and creepy for him to show up out of the blue?

Oh, what was he doing? Marinette was Adrien's friend. He was Chat Noir now and he only had very few interactions with the girl. But Chat Noir was also her friend, right? He never recalled a time when Marinette turned him away, or anyone at all. (She was that amazing.) Maybe this was a bad idea. Chat Noir looked at Marinette one last time. She hasn't noticed him yet. He should probably go because last time he checked, this could be considered stalking, and stalking was illegal.

Marinette screamed when she found a set of glowing green eyes in the dark watching her after she heard a sneeze from above. Chat Noir screamed as well before he lost his balance in surprise and fell onto the balcony in a loud thud. Both of them were in the state of hysteria, Marinette demanding answers on what he was doing there and Chat Noir spouting explanations and excuses. If it weren't for Marinette's parents who knocked and checked on their daughter, they wouldn't have had calmed down.

A few minutes later, Chat Noir was sitting on the railing while Marinette was leaning against them. None of them spoke for a while until Marinette broke the silence.

"So..."

Chat Noir scratched the back of his head, sheepishly. "I'm really really sorry Marinette. I didn't mean to spy on you and startle you. I just saw you while I was patrolling and decided to drop by."

Marinette smiled and accepted this. "To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from a superhero of Paris?"

Chat Noir grinned at her and took her hand to drop a chaste kiss on the back of it. "Can't this cat visit his favorite civilian?"

Marinette rolled her eyes and Chat chuckled. He felt lighter. Marinette always had that magic touch with people. Though he never admitted it to anyone but she was someone who he drew comfort from. There was just something about her that made him gravitate towards her and he didn't mind one bit.

They spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing about random things. Marinette groaned at his puns and jokes while Chat Noir asked about her designs. For hours, they trapped themselves inside a bubble where he could forget about Ladybug, his whole life, and rainy days. Her company was just what he needed that night and it meant the world to him. When they decided to call it a night, Chat Noir pulled her in for a hug. When Marinette asked what it was for, Chat just squeezed her tighter and he hoped it delivered his gratitude.

The next week, Adrien's mood became better. He smiled a bit more and joined conversations with other people. His friends were glad to see that he's no longer brooding. He wasn't fully over Ladybug's rejection nor was his heart any close to healing but he basked in the warmth of Marinette's reminder. He was cared for and he was loved.

The next time he paid her a visit, he was being bugged by the possibility—the reality of Ladybug loving somebody else. There was another akuma attack that day. It was a girl who was pining over a guy and never had the courage to tell him until she was too late since the guy seemed to be interested with someone else. Chat Noir couldn't help but feel his heart twinge in hurt because he knew how she must've felt. He understood the feeling of feelings that are not reciprocated. He made a move to console her when Ladybug beat him to it. He was more than shocked. Why? Why her? She had no idea what the poor victim was going through. He was the one who could relate the most so why her?

"Loving somebody just sucks, doesn't it? It's the most wonderful feeling in the world yet it can give us great affliction at the same time. But isn't that how love works? Pain makes it a whole package. It's all about taking a leap of faith. It's going to hurt, like really really hurt but at the end of the day, we become stronger and wiser. Never stop yourself from loving and never fear pain because it will help you grow," Ladybug said.

"But how can you be sure it's worth it? How do you even know that?" the victim accused.

"I know how it feels like to love somebody far too unreachable. However, when it comes to love, everything is worth fighting for." The girl threw her arms around Ladybug and sobbed on her shoulder.

Chat Noir was confused. What just happened? He knew how empathetic Ladybug was but that...that was a spiel of somebody who talked from experience. How could she possibly know exactly how that girl felt, exactly how he felt? Was she inferring from how she thought he felt when he got rejected? How—

That was until he saw Ladybug's eyes and he knew he misinterpreted her. The look in her eyes mirrored his, it was of a longing soul and a broken heart. Everything clicked. She was in love with someone else.

That night, he was perched atop of a balcony, eyes cast forward but not really seeing. He couldn't admire the vast starry night sky and the tranquil streets. No, he was haunted by the sadness in Ladybug's eyes and the agonizing truth that she merely didn't have space for him in her heart because it was already taken by an unknown individual.

He fisted his hair and yanked at it in frustration, muffling a loud cry. Of course he never had a shot at her. He can't help but be jealous of the guy. Who was he to earn such devotion from the most incredible lady in all of Paris? Gritting his teeth, he hit his head against his knees. What did he have that he didn't? Clearly, he was the more meritorious candidate. What does a civilian have against a superhero? Chat Noir banged his head once more. Stupid. Ladybug wasn't that superficial.

Sighing, he loosened his hold on his hair and rested his forehead on his knees while breathing heavily. His closed his eyes to stop the stinging. Chat Noir vowed to let her go because he couldn't be selfish, he remembered. Ladybug's happiness would always be his top priority.

"Are you gonna keep sulking there or would you rather talk about it?"

Chat Noir stiffened and whipped his head behind him where he heard her. Even he had no clue that he was here again. Marinette was standing there in her pajamas and holding a tray with two mugs and a plate of cookies, levelling him with a concerned gaze. When he didn't answer, she placed the tray on the table and approached where he was.

"Hey Marinette," Chat Noir mumbled in greeting.

"Hey," she tucked the strands of her hair behind her ear as the wind blew. "Is everything okay?"

Mustering a smile, he nodded. "Yeah, nothing's got my whiskers in a knot."

"Are you sure?" she asked. He could hear the uncertainty in her voice though he doubted she believed that he was okay. Marinette had always been so perceptive. Chat didn't want to trouble her with his problems so he chose to grin and lie.

"Paw-sitive."

Marinette knowingly stared at him, waiting for him to give in but Chat Noir didn't change his mind. When that was the case, she smiled, an "It's okay, I understand." hidden in it. "Whatever you say. You hungry?"

Marinette walked back towards her chair. Chat Noir curiously peered over her form and saw the tray of inviting snacks. She picked up one mug and the plate and stretched it towards him. "Don't think I didn't see the way you've been eyeing my pastries last week."

As if on cue, Chat Noir's stomach rumbled and he scratched at the back of his head in embarrassment. Trying not to appear like a hyena, he accepted the treats with a grateful smile. That evening, he pushed the thought of Ladybug and her mystery crush to the back of his mind. He sat next to Marinette as they wordlessly drank in the view of the moon and the stars and relished in hot chocolate and chocolate-chip cookies. When he bowed thank you and good night (because hugging her was probably a little too much last time), she was the one who pulled him in an embrace, whispering, "When you feel like you have nowhere else to go, my balcony is always open for some stray cats."

Chat Noir would've been lying if he said that his heart didn't explode then and there and he didn't smile all the way back to the mansion. God, she was such a great friend.

Adrien loved Ladybug, he will always do, but he respected that it was time to be more of a partner and a friend to her and rid of his hopes of ever becoming more. During akuma attacks, he acted more professionally. He carried out with their plans and soon enough they regained their unity and coordination. If Ladybug noticed the change, he will never know.

Adrien hung out with his friends more, mostly Nino, Alya, and Marinette. He would make the most out of the time he was permitted by his father. Somehow, the four of them would always be down to just the two of them, Adrien and Marinette. Alya and Nino would oddly vanish without a trace. Adrien was fine with it, he wanted to get to know Marinette better but the latter was always awkward when it's just the two of them so he didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable. After his first two unannounced visits, he became a frequence to her residence anyway.

Although Marinette joked about how feeding a stray cat only urged it to keep coming back and how insufferable his puns and antics are, he knew that they both enjoyed each other's company. Marinette was a good listener, the best even. She always listened to whatever he had to say without prejudice and spoke sensitively and compassionately but full of depth and wisdom. There were times when Adrien was loaded with work and lessons that he was unable to come but Marinette didn't mind and listened to him vent the next time they were together. But when he insisted to come, he would end up passing out on Marinette's chair only to wake up with a blanket over him and food on the table. Marinette had a few extremely busy nights and over the weeks and months that they grew accustomed to the new normal, he would hang out in her room. Sometimes, he would give her the space to focus, but sometimes, due to boredom, he would annoy her and she would have to kick him out and put him in the time-out zone (the balcony where bad kitties belong).

Chat Noir never felt more at home than at Marinette's. He was never hungry and he would pretend to complain about losing his godlike figure but Marinette would just shove food in his mouth to shut him up. Maybe it was because of the ironically huge but confining room or the dull interior of the mansion or just living with an estranged and detached father that made the bakery ooze with so much warmth and life. He loved being at Marinette's because whenever he was with her, he was his most authentic self. He thought that when he became Chat Noir, he was free but when he was with his princess, that's when he truly was free.

They could talk to each other about everything. It took a while but he opened up about his parents and lonely home life, his suffocation from always being in the spotlight, and his bad days. He listened to her gush and lament about her crush (who was missing out big time by the way) and rant about her dilemmas, supported and praised her whenever she showed him her designs, and frowned whenever she would slip up about some of her insecurities. The more time they spent with each other, they got to delve deeper into each other's character, see one another's quirks and faults, hear each other's stories.

Plagg didn't want to admit it but he adored Marinette. She obviously loved both sides of his chosen and she took good care of him. The kid deserved all the love in the universe. (Okay, and maybe because she spoils him with cheese whenever he needs to recharge.)

Chat Noir knew how dangerous their little rendezvous nights were becoming. Plagg gave him the wake up call. There was a supervillain out to get his head and getting close to a powerless and vulnerable civilian puts her in a precarious situation. He tried to give Marinette a way out before she gets caught up in peril because of him.

"Marinette, Hawkmoth—"

"He won't."

"But getting close to me practically paints a huge target on your back. If anything were to happen to you...I can't—"

Marinette smiled and held his hand. "I have you. I have nothing to be scared of."

Chat Noir almost teared up when she told him how much this meant to her. And to hear her put so much trust in him made him melt. Chat Noir made up his mind that nothing was to harm Marinette Dupain-Cheng without killing him first.

They kept their meet ups under the radar. He didn't mention her with Ladybug and Marinette did the same with everybody. At first, it was hard. Adrien would forget that he's out of the suit and interact with Marinette the same way only Chat Noir would. But he got the hang of it. Adrien was a little disappointed and found himself wanting for Marinette to act around Adrien the same way she should with Chat. With Chat, she was bold, sassy, and witty. With Adrien, she was all blushing and stuttering. Maybe someday she would eventually warm up to Adrien, but for now, he's more than happy to keep the real Marinette all to his Chat Noir self. Cats can be territorial after all. ("Kid, you're literally the same person." "Shut up Plagg.")

Chat Noir will always love Ladybug, but now, he could proudly say that he was honored to be her partner and actually be okay staying in the friendzone. She was his first love and he will never regret falling in love with her. But it was a taboo topic whenever he was at Marinette's. Weirdly, it was what brought him together with her yet he did his best to never bring the heroine up. He didn't know why. He talked to her about his hardest struggles yet it seemed to be something that he just couldn't bring himself to disclose it with Marinette. He's not planning to keep it from her forever, but there's a right time for it to happen. He just didn't expect it to happen in a weather he was not very fond of.

Adrien Agreste hated the rain. As Chat Noir, even more so. It was because of the rain that Adrien got sick. It was because of the rain that made it just terrible for Chat Noir to fight in his state. A slight fever, an akuma attack and rain? Yeah, now that's a recipe for Adrien's worst day ever. Luckily, the duo stopped the akuma quicker than they usually did. After their fist bump, Chat Noir was ready to go home and burrow himself in his bed for the rest of the weekend but Ladybug placed a gloved hand on his shoulder and another on his cheek.

"Chat, are you okay?" she asked, worry evidently laced in her voice. Recently, she had become a little touchy with him. (They're platonic, he would convince himself.) Chat Noir noted that she still had an effect on him but not as strong as before.

He grinned at her soothingly to brush off her alarm. "I'm as right as rain milady." The nickname stuck and now it was just second nature for him to call her that. He sneezed and that didn't really help his case.

"Chat Noir, you're sick—"

Chat stepped away from Ladybug's scrutiny and winked. "Nothing a little cat nap won't fix. I'll cat-ch you later Ladybug!" He jumped faster than she could call his name.

Sleep wasn't much of a friend to Adrien that night either. For for the third time since he got the chance to faceplant on his bed and close his eyes, he was awoken by another nightmare that had left him covered in sweat yet shuddering in the cold. His screams bounced off the walls that Nathalie barged into his room the first time it happened. He excused it to watching too many horror movies to which she raised an eyebrow at and admonished him. She told him that she was going to log out and head home already and if he needed anything, she was on-call.

His third nightmare sent him to madness. Groggy with trepidation, he grabbed the nearest black jacket and woke up Plagg to transform. The kwami tried to talk sense into him but he was too stubborn and too shaken to listen. He needed solace, he needed warmth, he needed home, he needed Marinette.

Opening one panel of his glass windows, he dove into the night and hissed when he realized that it hadn't ceased raining. There was no moon that shone on his path. If it weren't for his night vision, he would've might as well plunged into pitch black. He stumbled several times and almost slipped from one of the rooftops but he kept propelling himself forward fuelled by a surge of adrenaline and necessity. His eyes were glassy and irritated, his throat itchy and aching, his nose congested and stuffy and his head spinning. The droplets that drenched his whole being projected flashbacks in his mind, his most painful memories, his nightmares. Must...get...away...

When he discerned the outline of the familiar balcony, he sprinted faster. He clicked his baton and it extended, catapulting him towards it. The wind slapped the skin of his face that was exposed and that's when all the strength he had seemed to wear off and his bones to melt. He smacked against the concrete floor and he groaned as the bullets of water landed directly on his face now. He attempted to push himself up but he was nothing but a sack of potatoes. Dark spots clouded his vision and he was ready to drown in slumber.

He was home and that was all that mattered.

---

this turned out to be longer than I expected so there's a second part! this is the very first fan fiction i have written in my entire life so please be kind. thanks for reading!

Part 2: Down Came the Rain (and Washed the Black Cat Out)

[mcsstydia]

To protect you- Luke Crain

request:

Warnings: mention of mental illnesses, depression

prompt: Luke is in rehab and it stresses you. He knows you’ve got depression and does something in order to protect you from pain

pairing: luke x reader

A/N: I didn’t choose the hoe life okay... it chose me

Masterlist

Luke Crain. A good looking man you had the misfortune to fall in love with.

Oh, who are you kidding? 

It was Luke Crain. The most handsome man you had ever laid your eyes upon. The one you were head over heels in love with. Perfect, right? Wasn’t it for the drug addiction Luke Crain had to fight with. 

But you loved him anyway. You went to every rehab center with him. You wanted him to get better. But while he had to fight real demons and ghosts, those you had to fight were inside your head.

While Luke’s brother Steven believed all his life that a mental disorder ran through his family while it was only the haunting house they grew up in, you were the one that -fortunately or unfortunately, you weren’t quite sure- that had to face mental illness.

And sometimes, supporting your boyfriend with all you had, became too much. It became so much that you broke down and cried for hours on end without any apparent reason.

A while, you just wouldn’t tell anybody and try to go on with your life as though nothing ever happened. But Luke knew. You didn’t know how, but he could always tell when you had had an episode again. 

And being in rehab and not being able to help you how he wished he could, he told his siblings about your depression. He was worried about you and hoped his siblings would help you.

Only problem was that you didn’t really like it that he told his family about your depression without asking you. 

“You could’ve at least asked me.”, you stated, face stern as you fiddled with the hems of your jacket. “Baby, I wanted to, believe me. But how could I? I was so worried about you I couldn’t wait ‘till the next time you visited. I had to tell them, I had to do something.”, he said, his sad eyes pleading you to look up from your jacket to look at him.

You sighed and looked into the eyes you fell in love with. His eyes had a soothing effect on you and you smiled a small smile at him. “I know babe, I’m sorry. It’s just too much sometimes, I worry so much about you.”, you admitted and reached for his hand.

But Luke suddenly froze. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Babe?”, you asked. “what is it?” But Luke held a stern, but sad face and pulled his hand away from you. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t come anymore.”, he said lowly. You raised your eyebrows and an unbelievingly laugh escaped your lips. “what?”, you half-laughed, but you could already feel the tears stinging in your eyes. 

“Don’t come visit me anymore. Please.”, was all he said before standing up and leaving the visiting room from the rehab center.

You were dumbfunded, confused and, above all, heartbroken. You cried for days, you didn’t get out of your flat and barely ate. But Luke knew that would happen. That’s why he told his siblings to watch you. 

He wanted nothing but to protect you from the pain he would cause you. He knew he caused you pain with ‘breaking up’ with you as well,and that’s why his siblings had to make sure you wouldn’t harm yourself. 

Weeks passed like this. You heard nothing of him, although you spent the majority of your time with his family. You didn’t dare ask about him, you knew you would cry no matter what they’d tell you. 

Luke, on the other hand, got a daily report from one of his siblings. He was more worried than ever about you and that’s why he worked so hard on getting better- he wanted to come home to you.

Three months passed like this. One would think you’d have gotten over him in that time. But who were you kidding? That was, at least you’d like to think of him as it, the love of your life. You had been attached by the hip for years, had gotten through everything together. You couldn’t just simply ‘get over him’.

After all, he hadn’t ever really broken up with you. At least, that’s what you’d like to tell yourself. That he did it to protect you, that he still loved you the same.

But you know you fooled yourself with those thoughts.

You sighed as you got out of your car and searched for your key on the way to your door. As you finally found it and had climbed to the first floor, you frowned. Something seemed unfamiliar about the door to your flat, you just couldn’t quite grasp what it was. 

You grabbed the pepper spray from your bag, because no one had a key to your apartment except for- Luke. Adrenaline shot through your body. You quietly opened the door and stepped in. There was food on your kitchen table. And it was your favourite food, that really tasty spaghetti only your boyfriend could make. 

Tears began to brim in your eyes as you put your bag down next to the kitchen table. “Those are still your favourite, right?”, a voice asked from behind you. You didn’t even shriek- it was the voice that soothed your nightmares and whispered ‘I love you’s’ into your ear. 

You slowly turned around to face him. There he was. Luke Crain. The love of your life, who you had the privelege to fall in love with.

He looked at you insecurely and fiddled with the hem of his oversized sweater- a habit he had picked up from you. You stayed quiet. 

“Look,”, he started and made an unsure step towards you. “I know I probably broke you. Well, fuck that. I know I broke you to pieces, Y/N. I know because Steven, Theo and Shirly told me so.”, he explained. 

The tears in your eyes had started running down your face and you had tried to swipe them away so he wouldn’t see them.

“But let me explain myself. I-I... Oh, fuck. This sounds so stupid now that I’m about to ay it out loud.”, he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I- I only ever wanted to protect you, okay? I know you don’t understand why, but I know, Y/N. I know you well enough to figure out how many breakdowns you had because of me. I just- I just wanted you to live stress-free until I was better again. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, you know that, right?”, he asked hopefully, biting his lip.

“I hate you,”, you stated, sobbing. Luke looked at you, freightened of what was to come next. “I would have risked it all for you, Luke. I just wanted you to get better, I just wanted to help you.”, you explained, crying and running up to him to hug him, feel him again. 

You buried your head in his sweater, wettening it with your tears. He kissed the top of your head, his voice breaking. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry, I just wanted to protect you.” He started sobbing by then. 

You looked up at him, cupped his face with your hands and wiped his tears away. “Luke Crain. I love you and I will always love you. But please, don’t ever do that to me again, okay? I’m with you, through it all. You understand that, dickhead?”, you asked, smiling. 

He laughed lightly and nodded. “good,”, you mumbled and leaned in to kiss the lips you had craved and missed for so long. You sighed as you stood on your tip toes, hands in his neck, his hands wrapped around your shivering body as your lips met.

[luobingmeis]

yes but youre saying the Only thing that makes someone a woman is if they say they are a woman. but then what is being a woman? if a person can be whoever and however they want within that category, and any way physically, then what would even be the point of identifying as a different gender ? if those labels are totally meaningless?

okay anon, i really don’t know what you want me to tell you?? fuck, i’ve been feeling so disconnected with “expected womanhood” for years now that i don’t even know how to Begin defining “””what it means to be a woman””” past identifying as one!!!! do you want me to spew the transphobic rhetoric of “you can only be a woman if you have a vagina”? because i’m not, because that’s transphobic as fuck and not true. do you want me to spew the western society’s sexist defintion of woman as being quiet, being submissive, being skinny, being something for everyone but herself? because i’m not, because that’s sexist and not true (and the only reason i make the specification on western society is bc i’m not educated enough about other cultures to even try making a comment). do you want me to spew the racist rhetoric that the only “””pretty””” “womanly” features are that of white women? because i’m not, because that’s racist and not true.

like!!! there is so much of gender that is just A Construct. and i’m not saying that people can’t appreciate gender! some people really like rooting who they are in gender, and i am not about to invalidate that, but a huge part of “being a man/being a woman” is set up by societal expectations, and it would be severely irresponsible and close-minded of me to be like, “oh, well, if you fit THESE certain boxes, then you’re a woman” when, in reality, i hope i’ve been educated enough (tho i still look to educate myself more bc we live in a very cisnormative society) to be able to aptly say, “if you identify as a woman, then you are one”

besides, i am literally One Girl who, to be very honest, has lived an overall priveleged life. i’m white and cis and grew up in a town more liberal than others and, tho im a lesbian and not very wealthy and have my own problems, that does not suddenly erase my privelege. i honestly think it would be incredibly irresponsible and also kinda fucked if i tried to make broad comments on what makes a “real woman”

like, again anon, idk if you’re just playing devil’s advocate or trying to do some type of educating in some questioning way or trying to back me into a corner, but yeah, if you’re trying to get me to reason with transphobic rhetoric on womanhood, it’s not gonna happen

[safitheartist]

Okay so I'm taking a look at Young Sheldon and

This show does surprisingly much really right.

For starters they shifted the tone very drastically from the over blown sitcom formular of TBBT (if you couldn't tell I do not like this show a lot) to a more down to earth drama like atmosphere.

You wouldn't even really get that the show is a spin off of TBBT if it wasn't for Sheldon's name and the occasional cut in from his older self as he narrates the whole thing. There are no reaction tracks that give a que to how the audience is suppose to react and absolutly takes away a layer of suspense off of any scene.

Sheldon as a child also is a lot more likeable then as a adult, comming off as misunderstood and somewhat misguided rather then literally not a person who should be able to funktion on his own in any feasable context.

He is a good kid at heart even if he has difficulties expressing this. And his actor manages to convey this very well through a amazing performance.

And so is his family, his parents are depicted as supportive but overwhelmed and his sibblings as envious but not vindictive. It's a very realistic depiction of a family in a very unusual situation and how every member is affected by said.

But at the same time the show knows exactly what these people's shortcommings are. It's aware that it is writing a white religious family in texas during the 90's and it puts attention to this via Sheldon's two highschool friends Tam and Libby.

Tam is a vitnamesse boy Sheldon met while on a quest to make a friend so his mother wouldn't worry about him and Libby is a young black girl with a extensive knowledge about Geology Sheldon grows a crush on.

Both being minorities is used to highlight the unintentional racism of Sheldon's family and their efforts to correct their behavior.

There are two wonderful scenes in particular that really bring this into the forefront.

The first one is a Family dinner at Sheldon's house Tam was invited to. It's a very uncomfortable scene where the family makes things very awkward fast as they show their understanding of Tam's culture is based on stereotypes which then builts up to Tam telling his tale about how he and his family suffered after the American/Vitnam war. Tam's father fought on the american side and therefore he and his family were put into a reeducation camp. They fleed the country on a raft to Taiwan where they lived in a refugee camp until they were finaly granted entry in the USA where they lived on a boat for a coupel of years. Almost having had a happy ending. Until the KKK burned said down and Tam's parents were forced to move to the country side to open up a convenience store, hardly making minimum vague.

It's a very uncomfortable scene. Which is wunderfull. It pulls no punches and clearly points out how the American dream is mostly a myth for non white people. It basically just takes all the white privelege these people had and the false pretense of having a land of equal oppertunity and throws it into their faces.

I was really impressed. Such a scene would have never worked in TBBT. Which shows again how damaging their over use of reaction tracs really is, since the dialouge still clearly has the same structure and style as TBBT. It just has enough faith in what it actually is saying that it doesn't need these tracks as a cruch.

The second scene is shorter but still very much a really great one. In it Sheldon's father George tries to spy on him, Tam and Libby as said are having a conversation in the libarry only to be caught red handed by Sheldon's brother Georgie. In the conversation that ensues it's revealed that George seemingly is a bit uncomfortable with the idea that his son has a crush on a black girl, which he of course doesn't want to admit to himself of his son. Georgie therefore calls him out, advising him to educate himself.

The thing is here that Sheldon's dad knows that his behavior is wrong and is truly ashamed of himself. It's treated as his personal problem he has to solve and not Libby's and it's treated as a serious problem and character flaw, not a "oh haha, unintentional bigotry and discomfort to minority groups is halarious." Joke.

Young Sheldon, oddly enough, seems really out to tell a meaningful narrative that discusses the feelings of being a social outcast and uses it's characters to tell said in a meaningfull manner. It tackels interesting subject matters and has a very likeable main and suportive cast.

[smorgasbordofobsessions]

liveblog: yugioh! ep115-121

ep115

what's crazy is that panic's dueling arena literall turned into a fir tornado and we were supposed to think that that's normal

let's not forget that, in the manga, yami's role was actually to show people the consequences of their actions, which is why panik gets "obliviated" by yami

i actually should read the manga but the story is so different that i probably won't

ep116

oh yes company machinations!

pegasus wants kaiba's company!

kaiba reminds me of enzan from megaman (enzan <3)

oh why oh why could bakura's millennium ring be pointing towards pegasus' castle? is it because maybe, just maybe, pegasus has a millennium item?

oh they figured that out good

why did yugi have kaib'a deck?

"why don't you go look for an opponent you can actually beat? like an infant, or a monkey?"

like i was saying before the TECHNOLOGY involved in creating this holographic shit is actually amazing

so in the kaiba/joey ship, just how many fics are there where there's puppy play because i remember that being a constant thing, and this episode was the start of it

"if you ask nice, i'll finish you fast"

al i want to know is, in japanese, does kaiba go hard with the whole dog analogy or is that an artistic choice on the dub's part

ep117

is.. is that supposed to be an australian accent

ugh heavy cringe

"mullet-head" to pegasus, who has longer than shoulder length hair okay

so.. to put my fan experience to use, joey definitely has a puppy kink and he wants kaiba to be his master hahahaha

ep118

joey was told that an axe attack wouldn't kill the zombies and yet here he goes using a fucking axe attack to kill a zoblie clown

stupid

tristan's gonna fucking try to -

he said he would try to puncha boulder and it turned out to be a balloon witha speaker haha

yo joey definitely doesn't read the card descriptions

"why jsut defeat him when you can humiliate him?"

well, bandit keith, that's literally the problem

you could defeat immediately instead giving the opponent time to formulate a new strategy

"you can't possibly [stop me from playing in defense] with one card"

"oh yeah? my trap card, "stop defense" "oh no"

ep119

mokuba's fuckig voice ohmygod

oh ehll yeah the doubles duel!

eager for the days when we stop the transformation scene and yugi just becomes yami

"alright youse brothers paradox. me and yugi are gonna clean your clocks"

you know what would be fun? seeing yugi and bakura duel together

why didn't kaiba just land closer to the castle

i, too, wish i could be drinking wine

ah the classic one's a liar one's a truther riddle

this chibi style is cute

also can't wait for when we call polymerization just "fusion"

but hoenstly fusing shadow ghoul with the labyrinth wall is smart as shit

ep120

why did they use a springboard sound for kaiba's solar plexus attack

DARK MAGICIAN

why should anyone tell anyone what cards are being laid face down

this is reminding me how much i didn't like mokuba as a character ebcause i thought - and currently think - he's fucking useless

ah the gate guardian, which is really just a little preview of all the differnt types of god cards in this series

"you'll never get past the gate guardian!"

hm, yeah, sure, okay

"you can beg later - when you're punished"

ep121

oh shit there are 49 episodes in this season

our previously unbeatable gate guardian who got partially defeated is still unbeatable even though 1/3 of our unbeatable gate guardian got destroyed

yeah remember when monster reborn could be used for your enemies' cards and not just your own

OKAY SO THE CARDS DO HAVE DESCRIPTIONS SO JOEY REALLY JUST DOESN'T FUCKING READ THEM

WOW A CARD WITH 4000 ATK POINTS REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS CRAZY AS SHIT

dark magician really hopped off suigen right quick

yeah we forgot about the door puzzle

kaiba's a ninja haha

kaiba boy

it's just a little magic trick. i just trapped his soul in a card

"you must first EARN the privelege to challenge me