#I KNOW IM CLINICALLY INSANE BUT HEAR ME OUT
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hi *polyships your kismet*
#trolls#writing#SORRY IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT KISMET POLYSHIP SINCE I FIRST WATCHED THE MOVIE#I KNOW IM CLINICALLY INSANE BUT HEAR ME OUT
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Hi ! Can I request a nagi x reader oneshot in which they’re playing horror games plssss
Notes: Hi yes of course! It’s a little rushed at the end but i hope it’s okay! not proof read sorry :(
Scared to death • nagi x reader
you and nagi are currently playing video games on roblox at his house. reo was there earlier but left because he had to go study for history or something. you weren’t really paying attention because then again you were playing on your phone. nagi loves playing video games together, you even convinced him to play royale high once. you and reo were never really into video games until you both met nagi. but now you and nagi have arcade dates, and even dates on random roblox servers while the two of you facetime. on this particular night you two happen to be playing something scary, since right before you guys were watching a scary movie. so why not continue the horror theme tonight?
ミ★ 1:54am - you both have school in the morning yet here you two are still going at it. nagi is so into the game that when a jumpscare comes on your usually calm and collected boyfriend screams out bloody murder. it snaps you back to reality and here you are about to piss your pants from laughing so hard. nagi just rolls his eyes and pouts saying “this is why you’re supposed to go first not me”. you laugh even more at how nagi is just a big baby. you can’t wait to tell reo later and both tease him about it in the morning. you both get back into the game and you are in front, per nagis request.
ミ★ 3:08am - you and nagi are still playing video games, but you’re terrified. so you finally tell him that you’ve had enough and you’re starting to feel a little tired. “sei im a little tired I think I might go home” nagi looks at you confused and hurt by your confession. “not at this time you’re not. you’re asking to get kidnapped.” you finally look at the time and that’s when you shriek. “It’s 3 in the morning?!” “yup” “and you knew?!” “yup” “we have school in a couple of hours” “yup”. you wanted to slap your boyfriend so hard until you heard a creek come from down the hall of nagis apartment. “sei I thought you lived alone” “I thought so too” gosh sometimes your boyfriend was too annoying. “maybe you should make sure just in case” “hmm no sounds like a hassle” you hear another noise come from the hallway, and that’s it you’re freaked tf out. You run to nagi who’s been laying on his bed and jump on him. he lets out a loud “oof” in response. “hey what was that for!?” “if I’m about to get murdered I want to at least die in your arms so we can stay together forever 😍🤞”. nagi looks at you annoyed, “I’m sure no one is here maybe that game is making you go mental. you know it’s clinically proven that cuddles can cure the insane”. now it’s your turn to look annoyed but that quickly goes away when you see a figure at the entrance of his doorway. you quickly put your head down under the covers and nagi looks at you confused until he sees what you just saw. “WHAT THE FUCK TAKE HER NOT ME” nagi pushes you closer to the intruder until the lights switch on.
Reo.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” you both say in union. “what am I doing here? what are you doing here y/n? do your parents know you’re out here making babies past curfew?” you could pass out from how scared you were until you realize two things. nagi pushed you towards the murderer and your parents are definitely pissed. eh you’ll worry about the second part in the morning. you get off of nagi pissed that your boyfriend could do such a thing. and that’s when nagi asks “what are you doing here at 3 in the morning?” “oh. I wanted to cosplay middle class. I had a nightmare and wanted to experience it first hand”. that’s reo for you.
ミ★ 4:12 am - reos sleeping on the floor while you and nagi are on his bed. you’re still mad from earlier until nagi moves a piece of your hair from your face. “you’re cute when you’re scared.” “yea and you’re cuter when you’re not sacrificing your girlfriend.” nagi rolls his eyes and pulls you closer.
“I’ll make it up to you, love”
#blue lock fluff#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock angst#nagi x reader#nagi fluff#nagireo#nagi x y/n#nagi x you#nagi seishiro#blue lock nagi#nagi smau#bllk isagi#bllk nagi#bllk headcanons#bllk scenarios#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk fluff#seishiro nagi#nagi seishiro fluff#bllk imagines
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tuesday again 2/27/2024
this is the longest ive ever been unemployed and media is only doing so much to beat back the horrors. so let’s talk about the media instead of the horrors
listening
Come Up For Air by We The Commas, off i think one of the autogenerated spotify indie mixes?
youtube
sort of a rollicking modern little surf rock thing, they describe themselves as "surf and alternate rhythm and blue" which is pretty bang on imo. they're all brothers (their last name genuinely is Comma, which i salute as a fellow weird last name haver), and cite john mayer (i don't really hear it) and the beach boys (yes i hear this very much) as some of their influences. a song i had on loop for an entire forty minute drive and did not get tired of. spotify
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reading
three books that MUST go back to the library tomorrow bc their autorenew is up and i was emotionally unable to get a library card without tooling around and getting a stack of books a month ago.
thank you philip.
i really only liked the Carmilla adaptation by Amy Chu, bc it really gets at what i didn't realize was the heart of the original 1872 lesbian vampire novella: a toxic gay housing situation you have fallen into and can't get out of bc your area is so so so expensive and housing is so so so tenuous. i have read the original but not in a while, this is an excellent modern adaptation centering around a nyc social worker in the late seventies that presupposes no knowledge and intertwines the original novella in the form of a stolen rare book. (nonconsecutive pages)
i don't have much to say about the DC young adult comic about the circus career of one of the Robins (Dick Grayson). i didn't love the loose artstyle and am not in its intended age range plus it had a bit too much therapyspeak, but it did have a clever use of a very limited color palette.
let's yank the amazon description for the detective novel, which i grabbed bc it vaguely pinged something in my brain about one of the fallout 4 sidequests and i've picked books up for worse reasons (SPOILERS):
Jacob Rigolet, a soon-to-be former assistant to a wealthy art collector, looks up from his seat at an auction—his mother, former head librarian at the Halifax Free Library, is walking almost casually up the aisle. Before a stunned audience, she flings an open jar of black ink at master photographer Robert Capa’s “Death on a Leipzig Balcony.” Jacob’s police detective fiancée, Martha Crauchet, is assigned to the ensuing interrogation.
i simply fucking hated this authorial style and tone and ditched it two chapters in. i don’t currently have the patience for reading about a clinically insane mother and hate crimes against Jewish people. despite the fairly dark premise, the first two chapters veer into cozy mystery with very short sentences, which do not a noir make. now, it does not advertise itself as noir or neo-noir, but as an homage to noir. it is for me unbearably smug. in my most unkind heart of hearts i want to say it's like if wes anderson tried to make a noir. this is a book that wants you to know it has read other noirs. yes thank you ive read several others, that’s why im reading this one, stop reminding me of better books i could be reading.
there's some weird descriptions of womens' bodies in here. chandler (my beloved) is certainly guilty of this as well, but he lavishes a sort of equal opportunity eye on the men in his mysteries. cf the infamous daniel lavery description.
when i read a chandler description of someone’s physical appearance there’s a fruity bisexual aftertaste in my mouth. Howard Norman, below, saying a woman takes great care of herself puts my hackles up. i understand the difference between an author and a character believing something and i don’t want to read a book where either the author or the character have this sort of pitying condescension towards a woman’s body. im feeling extremely terrible about my own body right now due to the various maladies, and another sort of breaking point for me is when an author repeatedly describes "naked breasts" (exact wording) pressing against someone's torso. it feels so juvenile. that's the sexiest thing you can possibly think of??? that's the sexiest way you can think of to describe an early mornign moment of intimacy???? augh i read the NYT review and it gets worse.
shut the FUCK up. i left my apartment at 1130 PM to go put this book in my CAR. i don't want it in my HOUSE.
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watching
Bullitt (1968, dir. Yates, free on Tubi). the baddie in this is Robert Vaughn (who i know from cowboys), a guy i fucking love to see. i can take or leave Steve McQueen but he does such a killer job parallel parking in this movie and i wish all driving movies made their leads parallel park. shockingly realistic hospital, morgue, and police work scenes, apparently was one of the big films to popularize blood squibs. also love to see a haunted man splash water on his face and stare into a mirror.
youtube
if you asked me how long the famous car chase was i would have said like 2:30? substantial but snappy. no!!! eleven minutes!! (video a bit trimmed). also a rare movie that makes a foot chase through an airport as exciting as that eleven minute car chase!!!
the mob dodging plot was a little hard to follow, but i was operating on like four hours of sleep and a rum and coke. this has got to be a tremendous movie to watch when you’re home and sick on the couch huddled under a blanket. i mean this as a compliment, as someone who watches Escape from New York whenever i feel very sick
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playing
really wanted to get to 69 shrines before writing this post and finally did it. all the little divine beasts walking along the loading screen are SO cute i've never gotten all four before
all the divine beasts are unlocked and the champions laid to rest! im feeling some type of way emotionally speaking about all of them telling link IMMEDIATELY that it wasn't his or zelda's fault they died
rudania has the worst boarding mission (in order of ones i most enjoyed it's camel [SO fast and SO fun], bird [lots of time to think and plan and aim], elephant [did not make me do a tedious stealth mission but i am bad at locking on to rapidly moving things behind me, much like in real life], and lizard. the lizard stealth mission is simply unpleasant). however, my brain really clicked with the puzzles in rudania: i had to consult a walkthrough once for an optional chest. in order of interior beast puzzle enjoyment for me it's lizard, bird, elephant, and camel. really got stuck for a long time on the waterwheels with the elephant before consulting a walkthrough.
the yiga clan stealth mission was not as hard as i thought it would be. i don't know why i put that off for two real life weeks but i will not learn my lesson and i will never improve. this boss battle was just silly.
the vah naboris interior puzzles were not fun. idk what it was about them or my brain that made me have such a bad time, but i spammed revali's gale and skipped a lot of chests bc i was not having fun. this is why god invented the walkthrough but sometimes. shit is just too fiddly.
i did succeed on the thunder ganon boss battle first try, but i came in with extra hearts from mipha's grace, used another mipha's grace in the fight, went through five fairies and seven hearty simmered fruits that were 5x durians (which gives you 20 extra hearts or some shit). fucking nightmare. i was stuck on one hit left on ganon for like five minutes bc he got stuck in the very fast flurry attack cycle. unpleasant. deeply grateful it only made me smack him with the magnesis pillar once bc that was also really fiddly with my poor reaction time + poor fine motor skills + previously mentioned ancient controller with some drift. in order of boss battle enjoyment i think it's lizard (made me think and kept me on my toes a little but i did have to look up how to break the shield), elephant (you can just kind of tank it), bird (same), and camel (extremely not fun).
this was WITH a fully upgraded gimp suit btw. that shit (ganon) just hits hard.
shrine shenanigans:
crowned beast very fun, i have one or two of kass' songs left and then i hope i get to see him back in rito village with his family??? a little nervous bc i went right to the jungle spring without hearing his song first so idk if that will. count??? or softlock me.
the MOUNDS of failed cooking attempts around this shrine on the grasslands side of the gerudo barrier mountains were SO funny.
unlocked all the spring shrines. what a fun mission. what a fun climb.
went to my FAVORITE shrine!!! going into what you think will be a normal cave and discovering it is DEEP with a BIG WHALE INSIDE is top three video game whale moments (the other two are diving with the whales in ABZU and meeting the last whale in the first dishonored).
other bits and bobs:
eggman rocks???
this quest was really cute and i wish there was a corresponding quest for the guy hanging around the broken heart pond, but it always makes me laugh whenever a dragon shows up in the background of a screenshot. a really great touching moment but watch out for the elemental orbs rapidly approaching us
also made me chortle. get it together barta.
i wish the helm was upgradable but i think making me kill a molduga in order to borrow it is a pretty fair trade actually.
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making
i originally had a really long thing here about litterbox trials and tribulations but i have decided to spare you all. you're welcome.
many balcony improvements, including putting up trellises and installing bird spikes to hopefully keep a very persistent orange tom off my balcony and away from my girls.
there are a goofy number of obstacles in the way of me making a proper planting diagram (sketchbooks buried deep in closet. flung the seeds in a box on a shelf i need to find my stepstool for. can't find pencil sharpener) so for the second week in a row that's not happening. however, sprouts.
baby italian lettuce blend
bush beans in the front and cucumbers + sweet peas in the back.
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Prompts
Please ask for one if you want
If they are blue they are in the process of being written
1.Iv fucked up
2.Im sorry im not the person you thought i was
3.Why did you leave
4.Thyer lying to you
5.Don't touch me
6.Why would you say that
7.You saw that
8.I didn't mean it
9.I was a kid
10.“You look like hell” “i feel like it”
11.You don't remember me
12.I don't know who you are anymore
13.This isn't what it looks like
14.“Do you trust me” “i don't know”
15.I think i'm seeing things
16.Send help
17.What the hell is happening to me
18.There's so much blood
19.You said you knew where we were going
20.Are you seriously stuck right now
21.How can you love someone for 7 year then not
22.I love you
23.Its 2:30 am
24.If i matter that much then why do it
25.Are you clinically insane
26.You're 16!
27.I never got to say goodbye
28.You don't see me
29.This is why we can't have nice things
30.You could have died
31.Do you regret it
32.Tell me i'm wrong
33.Lie to me then
34.We need to talk
35.Are you drunk
36.How much of that did you hear
37.What happens if i accept it
38.Is there a reason that you are both naked in bed
39.I won't let you bleed out
40.Tell me at least apart of it was real
41.Let's go on a walk
42.What's that
43.She's dead
44.You and me against the world
45.Promise me
46.You came home
47.You came
48.Im at the hospital
49.There's no heartbeat
50.Go be a superstar
51. My mom misses you
52.what if i say no and i come with you
53.I didn't know where else to go
54.I'll never be that me again
55.You deserve better than me
56.I don't want to understand i want you to stay
57.Don't let me lose you to
58.For what it's worth i really im sorry
59.Step out that door and i swear we are done
60.What right did you have from keeping it from me
61.Running seems to be all your good at
62.Your not sorry you'll never be sorry
63.Cry me a fucking river
64.The smart people are talk it's time to shut up
65.I want you to die there i said it
66.Im i that unlovable
67.Please don't make me answer that
68.I'm like 99% sure this is illegal
69. I no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke
70.You never think the last time is the last you think you have forever but you dont
71.Gay not blind
72. “ because she’s a girl!” “She’s a girl”
73.Run away with me
74.Stop trying to save me
75.Oh don't stop on our account
76.Visiting hours are from 4:00 to 9:00
77.Id ask you to stay but i don't like you
78.Something about you makes me want to commit extreme violence
79.Your too young to hate this world
80.Were designed to be disposable
81.Her blood is on your hands
82.Your smile isn't as bright as it used to be
83.Same time tomorrow
84.You were supposed to talk me out of this
85.Do you remember this you give it to me when we first got together
86.And it's another tuesday what's your point
87.It's almost like your still alive
88.You'll be free soon
#women’s football#women’s soccer#women’s super league#woso community#woso imagine#barclays wsl#wsl#lucy bronze#barcelona femeni#ruesha littlejohn#laura wienroither#mapi leon#lionesses#kim little#london is red#leah williamson#kyra cooney cross#keira walsh#katrina gorry#katie mccabe#viv miedema#vivianne miedema#aitana bonmatí#jen beattie#beth mead#woso fanfics#arsenal#alessia russo#woso one shot#woso
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im in the PHIGHTING! fandom but I never played it until yesterday, and oh boy my first matches made me lose it, so here's some of my panicked ramblings
(honorable mentions: my very first match was random phighters and I didn't know what to do with boombox so I left, and later my mom came downstairs to check on me because she kept hearing me scream in fear)
'NO NO NO STOP CHASING ME NO NO NO'
'why is someone in a maid costume'
'im clinically insane and someone needs to hit me with a car'
'there's bread everywhere please help'
'imagine an entire room and its all bed, that's what I need'
'kill murder blood kill kill murder blood kill'
'if I hide under the stairs no one will see me, if I hide under the stairs no one will see me'
'SLAP HIM OUT OF THE SKY'
'this is like Splatoon if nintendo didnt have to worry about accessibility features'
'no the walls are coming for me no no no'
#ummm yeah#phighting!#phighting roblox#in case you couldn't tell I lost my mind more with each match
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Im so happy that I found that art because God... this has been racking around my brain for the longest time so I'm glad it's not just me. When I got to really thinking about it I started to see so many similarities it made me crazy. Those are some of my semi-coherent observations, feel free to reblog with more:
Parallels between
John Ward ───── Will Graham
Amy Martin ──── Abigail Hobbs
Gary Miller ───── Hannibal
Will / John
lowkey supernatural abilities (empathy / faith)
had an actually insane era (psych ward / encephalitis)
was accused of killing "the girl"
at some point losses time and wakes up wondering if he murdered someone
self-medicates a lot, just dry aspirin
just so tired. All the time. poor guy
has a hard time discerning reality from nightmares
tries to save lives despite the horrors he deals with and how they affect him
Will - Abigail
in the end he couldn't save her but she forgave him for it
he feels a need to save her steming from guilt (failed exorcism / killing her father)
caring for her puts them in a father/daughter dynamic
she kind of haunts him and appears in his dreams
Hannibal / Gary
just generally kills people
charismatic, he manipulates people by narcotics, withholding information and secluding them from friends and family that could help them
canonical medical malpractice (surgeon and psychiatrist / abortion clinic)
apart from intricate plans, he does things out of curiosity or amusement
"he is the devil mr Graham" / an actual demon
tries to look like a normal human being to hide in plain sight
I also 100% believe gary ate someone at somepoint, like please he's astaroth let's be fr
Hannibal - Will
opposites in faith and worldview yet two sides of the same coin
sees him in equal measures as a valuable asset and threat
he tries to persuade will/john to join him (his destiny as a vessel / his true nature as a killer)
he tries to manipulate him by conditioning his mind with the use of narcotics and inducing psychosis
their opposing blue and red themes in both series <3
Hannibal - Abigail
manipulated her by making her think he was sincere and friendly
then used her for his own purpose (and also, you know...killed her)
also, I'm sorry but her color is PURPLE? oh like blue and red mixed? like indicating that she is under both of their influences?? coincidence???
Additionaly
Father Garcia / Jack Crawford
"I need men like you to fight evil" / "can I borrow your imagination"
"that wasn't a question, hijo" (doesn't take no for an answer)
points a gun at him
shows up at random moments to save the situation
Molly / Molly
PLEASE WILL'S WIFE IS LITTERALY NAMED MOLLY
AND THEIR RELATION ENDS DUE TO HIS OBSSESION WITH FIGHTING DEMONS / HANNIBAL
THEY ARE LITERALLY THE SAME ARE YOU HEARING MEEE
she loves him despite knowing his fucked up past
their relationship was a way for him to achieve "normalcy" and kind of run away from his trauma
Literally no one asked about this but I have the need to do it, Hannibal and Faith It's killing me
Og's
#faith game#faith the unholy trinity#john ward#faith john ward#gary miller#amy martin#hannibal nbc#hannibal#hannigram#will graham#abigail hobbs#murder husbands#parallels
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actually yknow what. i Am fucking miserable. re deleted post noone read bc i got scared, yknow what maybe im not fine maybe im actually really not doing well and i never am!??
i dont even!!! i !!!! none of what im typing makes sense but how are people so brazen about talking about this!!! how do people do it??? because im gonna delete this in the morning if someone asks and im gonna be like haha im okay dw i was just having a moment when im not!!! i AM okay im SAFE or whatever and im not hashtag depressed im just hashtag ill and it bleeds into every part of my life and i do shitty things to deal with it . im Not going to kill myself, i dont even like making jokes about that!!!!
idk i feel insane am i just a little too mentally ill to talk about it outside of a clinical setting bc thats what i feel like? like i literally heard a coworker joke about a suicide attempt he went through (and another imply she went thru a very similar thing), but since it was in the past and only once (from what i could gather) does that mean that He gets to talk about it?
but yknow what its fucking isolating not being able to talk about the shit i deal w everyday!!! like yeah i sh! it sucks! i make it too easy for myself to do it! i officially cant wear tshirts now! but at this point in time its the only thing that is making me feel like im not going to fall into an abyss of guilt and hatred and its the only tools to cope with it since i was 12 so we're just going with it!
i want so badly to talk about it because i hate feeling like ive been left out to sea with this shit but also its mortifying and its Current and Scary so noone wants to hear it without having triple zero ready. even though im literally not in mortal danger! why am i always told to go seek professionals when its like. i dont need professionals right now i need comfort and companionship because i Am safe. im cared for even if the coping mechanism is scary and harmful but im fucking alone!!!! and that's worse!!!!!
whatever! bitch! im okay and cared for physically and im safe im just fucking lonely and i just wanna talk to someone without it being a federal fucking issue is this like. wrong?? bc i dont actually know!!! maybe what i want isnt what is clinically correct or whatever. not best practice or some shit. idk. i need to go to bed
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ℳ𝓊𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓎 & ℳ𝒶𝒹𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 Pt. 1
synopsis: you’re a nurse who finally got promoted to work with a psycho.
pairing: ateez hongjoong x afab reader
word count: 1.8k
genre: psycho au, fantasy au, possessed pirates au
warnings: minors DNI!, not really smut yet but def will be warned for the rest of the series - HONGJOONG IS A PERV, so theres some sexual and/or dark themes - if you are uncomfy about psychiatric hospitals - this may not be for you as I might mention a few things within the series to come.
Chapters: Part I, Part II
additional notes: hi :) wayvlocks here. just wanted to say thank you to those who commented and liked my last post about making this ff happen. tbh i am planning to make this into a series fyi so hopefully you guys are interested in seeing where it goes. idk how many parts there will be - i just kinda make this crap up as i go and as i please lol. i wanted to also mention to those of you who will want to actively read this series, that i am a full time college student. therefore, i really can upload when i can, im sorry - i just dont have the same set schedule every day/week. anyway, enough about me, read this ff (its what you were here for in the first place)
You’ve been working at KQ Psychiatrics, in the outpatient clinic for a few years now, and you finally were able to get that promotion you worked so hard for. Years of pushing yourself more than ever, taking time off the clock to visit VIP patients, and even volunteering in the cafeteria paid off. Little did you know your promotion was an assignment change to work in the Special Cases department.
The Special Cases department was famous in the outpatient clinic. There was never a boring day when gossip floated around of a patient in the Special Cases department. There were so many rumors about patients that you had heard, and they were starting to turn your stomach with thoughts about your new promotion.
Staff1: “Did you hear what happened to Mr. Nakamoto during his medication time last week?”
Staff2: “Yes! I heard he manipulated the previous nurse on duty to go into his room!”
Staff3: “Oh my god! That's right! When she went in, he jumped her, ripped up her clothes and stabbed her in the legs with a spork!”
You thought you were lucky enough not to be assigned as a personal nurse to someone like Mr. Nakamoto. Of course, since the reveal of the true nature of your “promotion,” you haven’t truly experienced luck today. Furthermore, your bad luck deepens when it's revealed to you who you really are assigned to. The most insane, manipulative, possessive, wicked – rumored murderous man held in the hospital…
Kim Hongjoong
Kim Hongjoong was notoriously famous amongst the patients and staff. He has been housed in the hospital for nearly 5 years now. He was 17 when he was taken from his home to be permanently kept here. Hongjoong is the patient who is talked about the most, especially between other patients. They have rumored the reason he got taken from his home was because he murdered his family after having some “alternate dimension revelation” – whatever that means. The creepiest rumors you’ve heard is that sometime at night, after lights out, he disappears from his room – just “poof.” After five to ten minutes, he reappears like nothing happened. You can’t really seem to trust these rumors, after all, most of them come from the Psychiatric patients who are known to hallucinate. However, you remember one staff member telling you that he does in fact disappear.
• • •
You just finished clocking in, today is the day, a new job position. You make your way to the main doctor’s office to tell them you're here. One of them, proceeds to walk towards you. His coat reads:
Dr. Joshua Hong.
Joshua: “Hello Y/n, find everything okay in your Special Cases pamphlet?” He said with a quiet chuckle.
Y/n: You started to force a smile. “Ah, yes. It was somewhat informative.”
Joshua: “It shouldn't be too bad, just making sure they get their medications and sunshine,” he smiled.
Y/n: “I think I can handle that for the most part. It’s just... just...” you mumble.
Joshua: “Hm?”
For a moment you don't say anything, but before you opened your mouth, he knew.
Joshua: “Ah… you’re Kim Hongjoong’s nurse. I remember reading through the new nurses' files earlier this morning.”
Y/n: “Yes...”
Joshua: “Hm. Listen, I’ll walk you to the department and show you around, if you need me to. I can even stand by when you meet him for the first time today. The last nurse he had didn’t go through with that idea and ended up quitting within an hour.”
You thought about what he said for second. Is that true? You now wonder how malicious and sinister he could be to ruin a conversation that ended with a nurse quitting. As you stood there, stressing about meeting this Kim Hongjoong, you noticed Joshua staring at you for a response.
Y/n: “I’d love for you to show me around the department. About meeting him though...”
You stopped for a second. You thought despite all the rumors surrounding your famous patient, you realized how hard you worked for this new promotion. Think back to showing how your hardworking skills paid off, you really didn't want to show up the first day looking afraid or weak. You knew deep down you could probably handle this guy; I mean, you would barely have to talk to him, right?
“…I think I’ll be fine on my own.”
• • •
Joshua leads you down the halls, passing many different patient rooms and offices. At the start of the walk, you passed by rooms of patients that you had often checked out in the lobby or held conversations with daily. Some waved or spoke quiet hellos to you, which you exchanged back.
As your walk continued you started to notice the difference between every hallway, traveling further into the hospital, getting closer towards the Special Cases department. There were less patients you could recognize while the rooms kept getting duller and duller. It started to look grayer than before. You also noticed many of the patient’s rooms had bars on the windows or doors.
The rooms you passed had no pictures on the walls. There were safety locks on door and window handles. One room you passed, had stains on the floor leading from the door to the bed. It was the most shocking image on your walk. You read the patient’s tag outside the door, reading ‘Choi San’. You weren’t sure what the stains were, but it bothered you that they ranged in colors from yellow to red.
Joshua: “Hey are you okay?” You quickly came back to after zoning out.
Y/n: “Yes, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
Joshua: “I just noticed you were blankly staring at some of the rooms. It must feel super different being down here than in the lobby for you, doesn’t it?”
Y/n: “Actually… yes. Everything is so gray and there were weird stains- “
Joshua: “Oh, yeah. Don’t mind those. Honestly, it’s better to just go about your day. I’ve heard too many stories when I asked about them my first day. Not an answer you wanna hear,” he smiles.
You were in shock. You started to have second doubts, again. You looked at his smile and felt like you weren’t entirely sure if you could believe him. You wondered if it was true, what the answer could possibly be. It was obvious he was just trying to make you aware that the less you know the better. Just then, Joshua immediately stops walking. You nearly bump into him because you were zoning out again.
You look up past his shoulder in front of you. There’s a seven-foot metal door with a small bulletproof window and slightly rusted hinges. A guard behind the other side of the giant door looked through the small window. Joshua held up his ID and then proceeded to move out of the way to show you hiding behind his figure. The guard unlocked five or six latches until the door finally screeched open. You walked through the door frame, only to be in another hallway, only this time the walls looked like pebble stone or rocks with no windows.
Guard: “And this is…?” He looked down at you, still hiding behind Joshua.
Joshua: “Oh, this is Y/n,” he smiled. “She is going to be Mr. Kim’s new personal nurse.”
Guard: “Really huh? I hope she’s mentally strong enough for that bastard. Fucker said the most disgusting things to the last nurse he had.”
Joshua: “I’m sure she can handle it. Didn’t you hear? She’s the one who got the promotion quickly for her volunteer work. She was personally recommended by the head nurse when the top doctors had that monthly meeting.”
You started feeling flustered hearing this new information from Joshua. The head nurse? You thought the staff in charge of filling this position just got desperate for someone. You started to think maybe you specifically chosen, that others thought you could do this job. This idea started to block out anymore doubts you had about yourself. Now you knew that you were in fact strong enough for this position.
You and Joshua exchanged smiles with the door guard and walked down the dismal hallway. At some point you reached a set of stairs, leading down towards a smaller hallway with lights. You and Joshua both walk down the stairs carefully, then walking through the shorter hall. There was a caved-out room with what seemed like jail bars separating the cell from the rest of the hall. You saw a person standing in the cell, turned away from the bars. Joshua faked a cough to get the person’s attention, causing them to slowly turn towards you. You started eyeing this figure from his bare feet to the gray sweatpants and then the matching, loose t-shirt. He was holding an old leatherback book in his left hand, to which you saw a small birthmark. You noticed a distinctive mole on the left side of his neck. The second you saw the face, you could tell. Hongjoong. He was attractive. His hair was dyed, split black and white. He had a pointed nose that was slightly upturned and full, barely defined cupid’s bow lips. The most prominent feature you saw was his thick long eyebrows. Following down to his almond shaped, dark brown eyes, which were staring intensely at you. He smiled devilishly.
Joshua: “Mr. Kim, this is youre new nur- “ Hongjoong chuckled, still smiling devilishly directly at you only.
Hongjoong: “Yes I know exactly who this is. Don’t need to be told something I already know, isn’t that right darling?” You looked right at him, feeling tense.
Joshua: “Right of course, Mr. Kim.” You swore you could hear Joshua curse Hongjoong under his breath. You bite your tongue as Joshua take a step back and gives you a goodbye. You’re alone with him now.
• • •
Y/n: “Hello Mr. Kim…” you timidly stated.
Hongjoong: “Please darling,” practically staring into your soul, “call me Hongjoong. No need to be formal with me.”
Y/n: “Right… Hongjoong.” You took a deep breath and thought about the pamphlet you were given. Reviewing all the information in your head on the spot. “So, I’m assuming you already have gone over the schedule with the doctors. I can only work with you on certain days with minimal hours. Do you understand?”
Hongjoong: “It is not to my liking. I’d rather spend more time with you, darling. Get to know you better. Afterall, you’re going to learn about my dirty little secrets. Shouldn’t I know a few things?” He looks up and down at you, fixating his eyes on your pelvic area to your chest. You already feel disgusted, trying to cover yourself with your hands and his patient paperwork.
“I can tell we’re already off to a great start... Y/n.”
#ateez#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez fic#ateez ff#ateez fanfic#ateez hongjoong#hongjoong smut#kpop smut#ateez wooyoung#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez seonghwa#ateez series#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez jongho#ateez fantasy au#ateez pirate au
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eddie getting his wisdom teeth pulled !! you know what im talking about !!!
double combo deal with a request for a reader who is scared of the dentist so Eddie goes with her :)) hope you enjoy it. i am kind of about to pass out since its 2 am so this might not be perfect haha, but if anything that might just add to post-op Eddie
warnings: swearing, friendly teasing, pillow fight/playful hitting, in casual conversation the mention of sexual content [masturbation, oral] and innuendos. dentistry, the mention of getting teeth pulled out [obviously]. mention of deep anaesthetic.
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It was no secret that Eddie Munson had a very… daredevil spirit. He also had a lot of curiosity that needed to be filled up, which ended up with him trying many things people would never even have considered in their wildest dreams. It was a miracle that he had not ended up in the hospital.
Another thing about Eddie you should, and do, know. He likes to have a good time. And what an excellent time to be had if it's enhanced with a little extra. His go-to was weed, special K if he felt very adventurous (and bored), and he had dabbled in some other things. But there was one thing he still had not done.
'You are insane,' was your immediate response to his newest suggestion. 'Like, actually, clinically insane.'
'Oh c'mon, I think it's gonna be a great time, and you're going in already, so why not hit two stones with one bird.'
'Two birds with one stone.'
'Where has your imagination gone, y/n,' he sighed, leaning back on the sofa. You just stared at him, dumbfounded. 'Anyway, I already made the appointment, so, go cry about it.'
'The fuck you didn't– Eddie!' you threw, no, actually, you just hit him with the pillow repeatedly. 'Why are you such a moron.'
'I'm doing you a favour here, missy.' he pointed at you, the joint hanging casually between his fingers. 'When you're up there, worrying about me getting high off my ass, you'll be too busy freaking out when he's drilling into you, so, hard.' He made some suggestive movements and emphasised groans to pull in the joke even better, which resulted in another hit with the fluffy pillow from you.
'You're a moron, Eddie Munson.' you said every word between a hit until he stopped you by bringing his hand forward and catching the pillow mid-movement.
'And you,' he blew the smoke out over your face, 'need to come up with some better insults.' His mind was set in stone; there was no going back. His idiotic plan was set into motion,
And what was this plan?
Well, you saw it all happen the following Thursday, when both of you skipped class, legally for once, and were sitting in the waiting room of the dentist's office. Your leg bounced around as Eddie looked through a magazine– a cosmo, unfortunately for you, reading some of the articles aloud for everyone else in the room to hear.
'Tip number six, 6. "Don't let stressing about an orgasm ruin the fun:
''Masturbate clitorally to orgasm before having intercourse. If it is possible, let your lover masturbate you—" hey, I wasn't done with that!' He said as you ripped the pages out of his hands.
'No, I think you were actually, Jesus, Munchie.' you put the magazine back in the rack of others, letting the pretty blue eyes of the lady on the cover staring right back at you. Eddie was giggling when you sat back down. 'Do you have no self-respect?' You hissed out now, feeling the need to compensate with silence for Eddie's boisterousness.
'I'm not the one who put those things on display at the fucking dentist,' he leaned over and whispered back, but still quite loudly. 'Also, I'm hungry.'
'Too bad.' You had told him to eat before, but no, his stubborn little ass just had to go against everything you suggested. And the smoke he joined right before getting to the dentist's office was probably not helping his appetite. God, this was such a bad idea.
Not that you had anything to do with it. You were just an innocent bystander, trying to get their filling fixed. Meanwhile, the degenerate besides you had already gotten stoned out of his mind as he pregamed for what was to come. You didn't know if your nerves were coming from your own appointment or what Eddie was getting into.
You had pulled two other magazines out of Eddie's grip before a door opened and a man in a white coat walked up, looking at his clipboard. 'Munson?' He looked up, finding Eddie raising his hand. No, but you were supposed to be getting your procedure done first. This wasn't right.
'I'm sorry, but he had had an appointment at 4, while mine is at…' you checked the clock that read quarter to 4, 'well, now.'
'Don't worry, Dr Fields will be with you shortly. You'll be in room 3, most likely,' the doctor said, leading Eddie to the door where a number 4 was written. Close enough. But you still wanted to protest. That was why you had come together, so he could support you while you then could watch over him as he burned up some more of his brain cells with this ludicrous experiment.
Eddie turned around just before walking into the room, giving you a thumbs up. You smiled weakly and waited another few minutes for your dentist, Dr Fields, to show up with his little clipboard. Then, it was time to face your fears.
The procedure went smoothly, thankfully. You lay down in the chair as they blinded you with the bright light for about ten minutes. You tried to breathe steadily through your nose, ignoring the taste of the gloves in your mouth. Instead, you concentrated on Eddie, who was in the room next to yours, getting his damn wisdom teeth pulled out. You could still not believe he was doing it, and for what? Just to feel how it is to be high on the anaesthesia.
No, not entirely true. He had been recommended to get the procedure done, but it wasn't necessary… but it was enough for Eddie to take the opportunity and go for it. How often would this opportunity present itself before him again?
Your mouth felt numb and sore at the same time as you thanked your dentist and got out of the room, kind of hoping Eddie would be waiting outside for you, but he was still in the procedure room. You could hear the machines whirring from inside. So, even though you had been done already and wanted nothing more but to leave the place, you stayed behind in the waiting room, counting down the minutes until that other doctor would come out and tell you to pick your Eddie up and get home.
But time wouldn't move, or so it seemed, so you picked up a magazine– the same Cosmpolitan Eddie had been reading you– and flipped through the pages, ignoring the all-knowing glint the receptionist was giving you. That is not what you had been looking for. Instead, you wanted to see the personality quiz at the back.
After figuring out that "yes, you do have to dump him", you put it away on the seat next to you and stared at the door. The feeling in your cheek was coming back. Not much later, and you could probably smile again correctly.
And then you heard the machines stop making their awful sounds, and the doctor walked back out, almost surprised to see you as if he expected Eddie to step out of there alone.
'Is he ok?' you got up, already prepared to walk in.
'Yes, yes, of course. He might still be a bit loopy, so don't be too rough on him for the next few hours.'
'Right.' You could feel your mouth tug irregularly on one side as it was still out cold. But you walked past the dentist and into the room where Eddie was sitting.
'Hey,' you said softly so as not to startle him, but this was Eddie you were talking about; of course, he would be the one to scare you with his loud call of your name. It made you wince, even. It was unexpected for him to see him have so much energy after that.
'y/n, c'mere.' He waved his hand to you until you were close enough that his knee touched yours. He took your hand in his, swaying it broadly from one side to the other; his heavy lids covered his eyes that followed as your hands moved. 'How do I look?' He asked, looking back at you. There was no thought behind his eyes, which were big and hazy, out of focus. His smile was a bit misformed by what had been performed on his mouth, cotton pads filling up his cheeks, which distorted some of his speech.
'Puffy...' you suggested the word, not sure how else to describe him. But for some reason, well, a clear one, Eddie found it hilarious and started giggling, then laughing, harder and louder, until he had to stop because it hurt his mouth.
'You think you're good to go home?' you asked him once his pain had subsided.
'Mhm,' and to prove himself, Eddie got up from the chair. He wobbled around a bit, reaching out for your shoulder to hold on to, but he was stable. 'You know,' he giggled again, as if the pain had already been forgotten (which it most likely was), 'that guy drilled me so hard.'
'Did he now?' you asked, giving him your best trying-to-sound-impressed voice and face while really you were just trying to figure out how you would get this half-conscious man into your car.
'He drilled me good, y/n. So good.' Of course, he had said it in the middle of the waiting area you were passing through, making the people that had now taken your waiting seats stare at him (and, therefore, you in association) in horror. You tried to give them your most apologetic smile while escorting Eddie out of the building.
'Please tell me you are at least feeling good,' you groaned as he pushed all his weight onto you.
'Oh, yeah, I feel fantastic,' he slurred, and you could tell he wasn't lying. Mostly because his mind was so far gone by the anaesthesia that he probably didn't have the brain capacity to form lies, but also because he did seem to look good—all wild and free and happy like he usually did on a high.
'Well, that's good to hear then,' you managed to get your carkeys and opened the door for Eddie, who slipped right into the passenger seat. He played with the belt buckle, getting it stuck around him a few times, but you helped with that too.
'You're pretty,' Eddie said, to which you replied with a "you're welcome", as you had expected him to say something around the realm of a thank you.
'Sorry, I mean, thanks,' so you quickly recovered, going to the other side of the car to get in yourself and behind the wheel.
'You're welcome,' he said. 'Sorry, I mean, thanks.' ah, so he was just repeating you; that wouldn't get old any time soon. Surely not by the time you reached the traffic lights at the corner of the building, about a minute later.
'Eddie,' you'd say.
'Eddie' would be his response to this. Until he didn't and started to repeat your name. 'y/n, y/n, y/nnn,' he slurred his words again, not clear whether it was because of his fatigue or the wooziness that came with the sedation.
'What is it, Munchie?' you asked him, taking a turn.
'This feels really good.' he said, head against the headrest, turned to face you as you drove.
'Yeah?' it felt like you were about to have a repeat of the previous conversation in the dentist's office and that Eddie was about to start talking about getting drilled by that dentist, but no.
'I'm really happy that you're here.' he said, shocking your system. As another traffic light turned red, you looked over at him. His eyes had gained some focus again and were looking straight at you.
'Oh, of course, I'm here.' the lights turned green, and you drove on.
'Good. Don't ever leave me, ok?' he started playing with his hair, mindlessly chewing it, which you could not imagine did not hurt him.
'I'm not going anywhere, Munchie,' you promised him.
'You better don't. What would I do without you?'
'Maybe not get high on general anaesthesia?'
thank you for reading
@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @chatnoirfangirl1624 @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @prettytoxix @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsmunsonx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @yourmommilf @mischiefmanagers @roseyykris @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @sleeping-willlow @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @miscelaa @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @wh0re4munson @eddiesdingus @zoeyquinn94 @munsonmunchies @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @stitchity @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @witchyrivers @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fic#imagine#fanfic#fic#fanfiction#fluff#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson oneshot
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Aster kissing angel to wake her up :( caressing her cheeks “wake up, sweet angel” kissing her cheeks knuckles feeling her waist fingers running down her back she’s in a deep sleep doesn’t turn around or mumble his name or pull him into her to cuddle and warm up she has a faint smile on her face “are you dreaming baby?” He asks knowing he won’t get an answer<3 he’s admiring her, tucking her hair behind her ears pecking her skin “look so peaceful I almost don’t wanna wake you up” planting a kiss on her nose she scrunches her nose ever so slightly “hmmm you are waking up” she opens her eyes looking around until her eyes land on his she smiles softly hand reaching to hold his face “morning” whispering “any dreams?” He jumps straight to it wanting to know every detail she nods wrapping her hands around his neck pulling him closer to her neck he stays there giving it kisses “what about?” Kissing her ear :( “you and I…” gives her ear a little nibble “was it naughty?” she shakes her head quickly “of course not” huffing “ah what a shame” he makes a sad face as going back to kissing her neck loving the noises she makes “it was innocent we were at the ice rink and it was snowing we drank hot cocoa together and it got on my lips and you licked it so we laughed-“ she’s smiling “felt very real” :(( “and here I was thinking you were dreaming of me between your legs” she sighs giving him a dreamy smile hiding her face in his neck “it’s 9 am Harry” he gasps “oh my it’s 9 am! I can’t think about you! I’m sorry angel” she pulls at his hair warning him “of course you can think about me…..Just not that way” he rolls his eyes at her playfully “what way?” He pushes her hand feeling the bow on her top “your way” she answers giggling his finger dipping lower “feels nice” she whispers eyes closed a smile on her face “wanna make you feel good” he gives her sternum a gentle kiss she gasps when his warm lips caress her :( “I could keep going-“ another kiss placed lower than the first one “-but it’s 9 am and you are right…..it is too early for these actions” pulling away from her chest hearing her little whines and he was gonna stand his grounds not kiss her or touch her just to rile her up but her pleads and her needy movements get to him :( “I take it back” she whispers “nu-uh angel you can’t” she huffs wrapping her arms around herself staring at him “you are mean” kissing her cheek “i am pretty mean” he agrees and before she can talk back he kisses her softly 🧸
WAIT I AM FEELING SO CLINICALLY INSANE OVER THIS:(((((((((( how hes so sweet talking to her when shes still asleep asking her if shes dreaming:( but omg when shes awake and hugging him to her letting him whisper to her and kiss her neck while shes telling him about her dream:( and how shes just feeling esp soft and in love w him bc the dream felt sooooo real like going out in the snow w him:( kissing him w hot chocolate:( and ofc hes annoying and cute sad that her dream wasn't about him fucking he bc hes gross but I NEED him but anywayyyyy ofc shes like h nooooo its too early thats not allowed all giggly and holding him and hes SO ANNOYING OMG:( being like oooh omg its only 9??? IM SO SORRY BABY YOURE RIGHT THAT ISN'T ALLOWED!!!!! and he has to use that against her while smiling and kissing against her skin touching over her tummy and moving under her panties and touching just enough to get her breathing a little unsteady before he pulls away bc "its only 9 baby youre right! can't do this :)" and no matter how much he teases her hes ofc going to slip under the covers anyway and take very good care of her :)
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Some random questions xd (optional dw)
do you like hermitcraft? cause im brainrotting abt it lmao
what is your fav color? mines green!
if you could pick any power in the clinic!universe what would you pick and why? personally i would pick Phils powers cause i want to flyyyyy
What DND moral alightment are you? if u dont know what this is dw, im a true neutral
what is your answer to the trolley problem? i think i would move the lever but idk
If you had to pick one persons lore on dsmp whos would you pick and why? i think i would chose quackity's
What is a fic idea you have but dont think would do well/ isnt something you feel like writing?
what is a comfort movie/show/video? mine isnt a movie but its a 3 hour long techno vid haha
given the chance to be in MCC who would you pick for your team?
i just felt like this btw:) you dont have to answer any of them btw^^
-👑 (king)
oooo these are fun questions!!!
no I don't watch hermitcraft, but I hear bits and pieces from the people on my tumblr dash and my twitter tl who do watch it. also, I've watched 3rd life and last life (and part of double life) which have a lot of the hermits in them, so I'm mostly familiar with the hermits through that (I will say that I am not immune to good times)
yellow is my fav color!
oooo I'd probably pick wilbur's power. siren abilities hello?? insanely powerful man. if not his then I'd go with niki's because I always wanted to be a waterbender like katara when i was a little kid
uhh I'm either neutral good or true neutral, not exactly sure which
I have no idea what my answer would be tbh
if you mean pick someone's lore as in my favorite lore, it'd be wilbur's hands down. he created such a complex and fascinating character who was incredibly consistent in his characterization, I brainrot over c!wilbur so often so everything from him is my favorite
oh god most of my google drive is full of fic ideas that either wouldn't do well or I just don't feel like writing lmao. one example is that I love coming up with aus of movies but rarely do I actually wanna write them out entirely. one movie au I think about so often but would never get around to writing is an au of the movie Push. Push is not a very good film. it's fun! but it's not good lmao. the concept was SUPER cool to me though. it's a movie about people who have psychic powers that are hunted down by an evil government organization yknow the drill, but the plot is about a guy in his 20s who is a 'mover' (has telekinesis) that's kind of down on his luck and doesn't have much of a life. he gets dragged into a plot to steal a metal briefcase because a 13 year old 'watcher' (sees the future) shows up on his doorstep and tells him she sees the two of them teaming up to find this case and she's convinced it has a shit ton of money in it. a lot of other stuff happens but the main two characters have such older brother/little sister energy that i literally can't stop thinking about crimeboysing it. it would be so fun but I'll never write it unfortunately.
hmm... one of my favorite self indulgent movies to rewatch just for fun is a super cheesy 90s film called hackers. the fashion is peak bad 90s fashion and the plot is so stupid, it's so much fun I adore it. I love rewatching it to cheer myself up
OOOOO GOOD QUESTION! ok i'm assuming you mean cc's I can pick. now the thing is, I suck at minecraft. so while I'd love to give myself a goated team so i can win, I don't think I'd have much of a chance of winning either way. but I'll give two teams anyway, one for a chance at the win, one just for fun content. so for a chance to win: tommy, phil, and shubble. for content: wilbur, wisp, and jack manifold. it'd be terrifying but also hilarious.
thank you for the questions these were really fun!!
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god im tired (longer winded ramble under the cut about disability?)
the thing they dont tell you. about being the son of two disabled parents, two people who hate themselves more than they could hate you, a woman who swears up and down that her becoming disabled enough to need a wheelchair full time is the worst thing thats ever happened to her, thats Ruined her life.
the thing they dont tell you is their constant insistance that you can do better and are just lazy warps your fucking perspective to yourself until its unrecognizeable. they push themselves until theyre now falling apart at the seams with worse and worse damages that couldve maybe been avoided somewhat and refuse to allow you to be 'weak' and 'need help'.
they dont tell you that when youre navigating constant persistant wrist pain at 22, when your cognitive functions have always been bad but not bad enough, that youre never gonna feel like you deserve help or accommodations. that you cant do math or numbers and thats a larger symptom of something, of when words blur together and you read chunks of writing as nonsensical regularly, when you hear one thing but someone said something completely different and you have to just bashfully laugh it off.
when your language function breaks down and youre speaking in fragmented sentences. no proper grammar. the words are hard and dont make sense and youre just desperately screaming in your own wy trying to be heard. you get told that one might be a symptom of your psychosis but fuck nobody ever told you that wasnt normal to begin with other than making fun of you when your guards down.
when you can barely tell time between two days from each other and your disassociative disorder makes you all lose so many gaps in time, and youre not mad at each other for that, but you just kind of wonder because between that and how much time doesnt exist to you all and how much you forget from adhd to the point that entire days are forgotten after youve lived them, when youre so exhausted and your head feels like fog 80% of the time, when your mood tracker never puts you above a 5 on the mental health scale on your best days.
when you know damn fucking well youre not abled enough, but nobody tells you that youll constantly be told youre not disabled enough, either. not abled or disabled. some fucking other thing, something thats useless, something thats just fucking pointless.
its like, i know im mentally ill. severe clinical depression. adhd. probably cptsd that im still coming to terms with. likely ocd. possibly autistic as well its hard to tell. psychosis. but im also in pain pretty regularly, but its 'only' wrist pain, so does it matter? i cant think straight most days of the week and its a genuine struggle full of spoons to keep my speech coherent and just tonight alone i keep hallucinating my bathroom lights on and getting up and discovering when i come to turn them off theyre already off.
ive been sick for a week and a half and i could barely manage to get out of bed and shower twice. or get a sports drink so i didnt just... faint. i need constant access to electrolyte water/sports drinks or my near-constant dizziness and lightheadedness and sometimes physical pain gets way worse, rather than 'manageable and liveable'. i feel like im going fucking insane.
all signs point to me having asthma. my parents literally think im insane at the idea. i have so much breathing trouble and this last week i couldnt breathe for multiple 10 minute chunks because i went to work sick because i need the money.
christ almighty. not abled. not disabled enough. cant quantify my cognitive problems because itll never be 'enough'. god.
im so fucking tired, dude. i just want to sleep for a really, really long time
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Not by the Moon | 05
Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU
Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader
Warnings: A sprinkle of grumpy jealous werewolf!Jaebeom who gets a wee bit violent, tooth-rotting domestic fluff, werewolf courting, sexual tension, werewolf!Jaebeom acting like a pup, and poor yet adorable attempts at coming across as human.
Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.
Unchanging.
None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.
And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.
That is when Time truly started ticking.
Author’s Note: This chapter is from Y/N’s POV. Bam and Jinyoung make a cameo.
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Wonderful as a trip abroad might be, there’s nothing that can compare to the secret feeling of relief when returning home. No longer there is luggage to drag along, languages to swap between, or cultures to assimilate to. While it is in good fun, it’s also physically and mentally exhausting. Henceforth, coming home is like a cozy blanket to wrap around your shoulders by the fire on a cold November day. And once you’re bundled up, it is time to breathe easy and rest.
Although, home is not necessarily a place. In fact, mine has made good on his promise and puppy dreams, standing in the crowd to pick me up.
“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out as we enter the hall of arrivals, “over here!”
Manes tucked away under a dark red beanie and wearing a simple black jacket over an oversized black shirt, Jaebeom waves to pull attention to himself.
“Who’s that?” Bam follows my gaze to the adorable tall man as we make our way through the crowd of trolleys, suitcases, hellos and goodbyes. “Is that the dude you’ve been texting and calling?”
“He is,” I whisper in reply as we approach him. With every step, the storm of butterflies in my stomach worsens although I feel light as air at the same time. Happiness in Love is a strange thing.
“So that’s your boyfriend,” my colleague purrs. He sounds pleased in the way I imagine he’d sound if he was my older brother.
I whip my head around, tongue-tied but not enough to protest the assumption. “He’s not my boyfriend!”
Bam merely chuckles to himself, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he continues. “Sure he isn’t, Y/N. After all, you’ve not been touching your lips and turning into a blushy mess afterwards. Or keeping those books you have with you close at all times, looking at them fondly.”
“Of course I am.” Jaebeom jumps into the conversation when we’ve reached him, acting as if he’s heard our conversation perfectly through the ruckus of the crowd. The sparkle in his eyes dims and turns into a poisonous glare when he notices the guy besides me. “Who are you?”
“JB, this is Kunpimook.’’ I gesture from one to the other, jaw clenched in the hope the wolf man won’t actively show the hostility harboured in his gaze. ‘’The colleague I told you about.”
“Just call me Bam.” Politely, he holds out his hand.
“Im Jaebeom,” the other man introduces himself, fortunately accepting the gesture howbeit with a strained expression. “Her boyfriend.”
“Hey, you must be Y/N.” Holding a tray with three coffee cups in it, a young man joins our company.
Like Jaebeom, who has proudly proclaimed himself my boyfriend, he is tall, slender yet muscular in build and has black hair. Nevertheless, whereas Jaebeom has a flair of being unapproachable, the stranger has a boyish air around him that’s open for contact.
He moves the carrier from his right hand to his left for a handshake. “I’m Jinyoung.”
Immediately, bells start ringing at the mention of his name. After all, there hasn’t been a single call the past week wherein he wasn’t mentioned. “Jaebeom’s told me about you. You’re a professor at the university here, right?”
“I am,” he beams, his proud tone indicating how much he likes his job. “I teach Mythology. It’s a course that encompasses folklore around the world, so it’s fairly broad.”
“You teach only one course?”
“I do, but I’m also a doctor. Well, still studying to be one officially, but I’m allowed to work at the university’s clinic already.”
“Wow.’’ A professor and a doctor. There’s little else I can say as a mere travel journalist, so I just try to remain casual despite being utterly gobsmacked.
“I know, it’s a lot. Nevertheless, somehow I manage to do it and occasionally write an article.”
How does he do it? He’s likely not that much older than I, but he’s evidently busier than I am.
“Show-off.” The grumbled insult interferes with the friendly conversation. The focus of Jaebeom’s glare has changed targets from Bam to the professor. However, the latter doesn’t seem to notice his friend’s chagrin.
“I’m simply introducing myself, Jay. Here,” Jinyoung hands him one of the paper cups from the carrier, “your apple and cinnamon tea.”
“You drink tea now?” I raise an eyebrow, surprised. It sounds like a strange concept because I’ve never seen him drink anything but black coffee.
“Doctor’s orders,” JB murmurs in response, discontent and keeping a close eye on Bam as he nips the warm beverage.
“I’ve put him on tea, preferably green, to lower the caffeine levels in his blood. Otherwise, he’ll be staying up all night reading and trying to cook. Oh,” he reaches for something in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle like the one JB showed me in the park and handing it to his friend, “you forgot your meds.”
“You’re on medication?” Bam asks without any implications or judgment. The funny thing is, despite being extroverted and extravagant - extra, in general - he actually studied psychology and thought about becoming a psychiatrist for a while. Therefore, he has a general interest in medicine and its function of helping the human psyche.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jaebeom sneers sarcastically, his voice closer to a growl than human speech. Then, he turns his attention to Jinyoung, who continues to hold his calm. “Why are you giving this to me now? Couldn’t you wait until we’re back? I’m not gonna take them in front of some stranger, especially not someone close to her. Besides, what does skipping one time or by a few hours matter?”
“Jay, don’t be like this,’’ the young professor sighs. ‘’You know how important timing is, especially with this new treatment.”
“You’re embarrassing me.”
“I’m not.”
“You are!”
A nudge against my shoulder distracts me from the fierce bickering, Bam lowly whispering he’s leaving for home as well as an apology for what he has unleashed. I answer in a similar fashion when promising to call him later and apologizing for putting him into this situation. He merely waves dismissively, unbothered, and disappears in the crowd of trolleys and journeying strangers.
“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” I intervene lest the situation gets out of hand. A hand on his chest, I try to distract Jaebeom by shifting his focus to me. “Let’s go search for somewhere quiet around here where it’s just us. It’s important to me too you take your meds.”
“Let’s just go home.” His features soften, compromising like I did that day in the bookshop and didn’t want to eat. “I’ll take them in the car, alright?”
“Why do you have to be cross with me about it when you readily accept to take them when Y/N tells you to?” Jinyoung crosses his arms in defiance, lips pulled into a displeased pout.
“Because she’s my mate,” Jaebeom argues, sure to show his teeth. Withal, he turns into a gentle giant again once he wraps an arm around my waist and looks down at me with so much adoration I feel my cheeks burning up. “Girlfriend, I mean. We’re dating, so she’s my girlfriend.”
“We’ve only been out together once,” I sputter. It’s wonderful to hear the affirmation we’re an item, although I still think it’s a bit too early to claim we are.
“Twice after today. And we’ve kissed,” he corrects me, tone indicating there is no use in protesting. Nevertheless, the sternness wavers as it warms into merriment. “I got you something. I’ll give it to you once we’re home.”
Jinyoung leans in as we head to the exit, whispering. “He went kinda overboard.”
“I didn’t,” Jaebeom growls. “Stop embarrassing me. Know your fucking place.”
“Boys,” I sigh in warning.
Both lower their head and let out a whimper in apology. “Sorry.”
“This is where you live?” Jinyoung parks the car in front of the tall white brick building overlooking the quay at the edge of town.
“Wow...” Jaebeom murmurs in the passenger seat, awed by the fact I live on the east side of town. It’s a recently redeveloped area, the warehouses refurbished into apartment complexes to help combat the growing housing issue.
“I do. Not for much longer, though.”
Both men turn in their seats, looking at me as if I’m insane.
“You’re moving out?” The professor asks, although it’s more of an exclamation than a question. “Why would you leave this place? It’s one of the most desired places to live within the city.”
However, JB doesn’t care about the reason which makes me want to leave the neighbourhood behind. Instead, he’s anxious to know where to find me. “Where will you go?”
“Do you know those orchards on the outskirts of town? With the old cottages?” Both nod as confirmation. “Well, that’s where I’ll be moving to. I’ve been meaning to get out of the city for a while. Granted, the harbour district isn’t as busy as the city centre. But, despite being only twenty-two, I crave the silence of the countryside. Or, rather, its tranquility which I can also find in the suburbs.”
“You’re twenty-two?” Jaebeom asks, head tilted to the side.
“I am,’’ I admit as I pull my knees up to make myself as small as possible. ‘’I never mentioned it because I didn’t think it’d matter. Does it, though?”
My voice is hardly audible, a frog stuck in my throat. Why did I have to be the one to bring this up?
“No, not at all! I still like you. A lot. A lot, a lot. But, I’m older than you. Quite a bit, I think.”
“How old?” The question barely rolls off the tongue, pale with dread.
Please, don’t let there be too big of an age gap.
“I’m twenty...” He looks at Jinyoung, brow furrowed.
“Twenty-eight,” the good doctor whispers, unconscious of the fact that the well-meant reminder is loud enough for me to hear.
“Twenty-eight,” Jaebeom confirms, staring back at me in anticipation. “Six years difference. Does it matter? To you, I mean. In how you see me?”
“It doesn’t. Do you see me differently?”
“I never did.”
“Age is only a number, after all,” the professor pitches in to cheer us up further. “Anyway, I’m dropping you off here.”
“Can’t you stay?” Surely I can’t let him leave without at least thanking him with a cup of coffee or tea.
“I’d love to, but- Don’t you snarl at me.” He points an accusing finger at JB, who’s showing his teeth and lowly growling like he did at the airport.
Caught red-handed, the wolfish man feigns ignorance and stares out the window. However, his sulky expression and scoff betray his true feelings.
“As I was saying,” Jinyoung continues after an exasperated sigh, “I’d love to, but I get to attend an interesting transplant operation today and have a bit of research to do for a new article.”
“That’s a shame. I owe you a cup of coffee, then. That’s the least I can do to repay you for driving me home.”
“I’ll make good on that promise soon. But for now, go on, you two.” He motions for us to get out of the car. “Don’t make it awkward by making me the third wheel.”
“Jinyoung.” Hesitantly, the big wolf man holds up his fist.
“No hard feelings.” He bumps his fist against JB’s.
“Good.” The seat belt comes undone, but Jaebeom doesn’t move to step outside yet. Instead, he leans in towards Jinyoung and takes a whiff, squinting as invisible question marks float in the air. “You smell weird, though.”
“Really?” The other man sniffs the collar of his jacket, shrugging casually in jest. “It’s not that bad.”
“Jinyoung.” Despite still looking a bit pale with remorse, the wolf man says the professor’s name harshly, his voice deep as he chastises the turn to humour. He grows still, gaze focused on his friend as he tries to look for what’s unspoken in the other’s body language.
However, there is nothing to see. Although, if there actually is something off, the professor hides it well. But Jaebeom doesn’t get the chance to scrutinize him long enough to see for himself because Jinyoung turns back to the wheel and waves dismissively. “I’m alright, Jae. Go. Have fun with your girlfriend.”
His friend nods, a strained look on his face, and opens the door. I follow behind, having silently observed the conversation from the backseat.
What’re you worried about? Jinyoung looks fine. Nothing wrong with him whatsoever.
Nevertheless, barely have we opened the trunk when the doctor hangs out the window. “And don’t forget your present!”
“Got it right here.” In confirmation, Jaebeom holds up a neat-looking paper bag, chique enough to originally have been used in a boutique.
“That’s my boy,” he chuckles before he resumes his seat.
With a dull thud, Jaebeom closes the trunk again.
The engine roars to life and the car pulls out of the parking lot, Jinyoung honking a few times as we see him off.
I look from Jaebeom to the bag, leaning in to try and sneak a peek of its contents. “What did you get me?”
You promised me a shirt, but do you really need this big of a bag for one?
“I’m not telling you,” he muses.
I straighten my posture, a smile building as a golden opportunity presents itself. “Aw, what’s in the box?”
“Box? Y/N, it’s a bag.”
“I know, but- Never mind.” I wave the apparently obscure allusion with a dismissive gesture, disappointed he doesn’t get the reference. “Let’s go inside.”
“Are you upset?” he asks as we walk to the entrance of the building.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Another reassuring question burns on his tongue, but before he can ask it I stand on the tips of my toes to peck him on the lips and nose. “I’m not going to get upset simply because you didn’t understand me. Besides, it’s just a trivial matter. Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry.”
Though I failed the first time, I again try to get a better look at the mysterious bag. As before, the attempt is in vain. “And curious.”
“I think you’ll like it. In fact,” his lips pull into a smug smirk, “I’m fairly sure you’ll look pretty in it. More pretty than you do now.”
It’s prettier.
I let the mistake slide.
To let him have his little moment of triumph.
There is no place like home. Truly, not a single hotel room or bed and breakfast in the world can substitute the small studio with its minimalistic interior in shades of white and grey.
I breathe in deeply, glad to stand in the familiar narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and space beyond. A faint musty smell cuts through the fragrance of the Nordic leather diffuser sticks I bought before going to Belgium.
Guess I’ll be cleaning tomorrow.
Luckily, it’s been only a few days so the level of dust isn’t too bad. Notwithstanding, the place could do with a little clean-up.
“Well, this is me.”
“I know,” Jaebeom replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes on me.
“No, I mean, this,” I gesture around as I walk into the apartment, “is my place. My house.”
He murmurs something under his breath, seemingly contrasting two words as he tries to understand them or, rather, the difference between them.
“It’s nice,” he remarks when he has figured out his train of thought, looking around appreciatively.
“The cottage will be nicer, I think. I can’t wait to decorate it, make it cozier than this place. Maybe get some plants, hang up a few photos-’’
“A few of us together, maybe?” He proposes as he, too, takes his shoes off and follows me into the living room.
“For example.” I nod at the bag when we settle down on the couch next to the window overlooking the quay. “Can I open my present now?”
“Say ‘please’.” Arms crossed, he leans in so our faces are mere inches away from each other. His breath ghosts warmly over my lips when he continues in a tender yet playful babying tone. “Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy. Manners, young lady.”
“Can I open my present, please?” Regardless of the chance to finally satisfy my curiosity, I don’t dive into the gift directly. Instead, I stay my hand, bothered by a nagging feeling his words are familiar to me. “What you just said, isn’t that a quote?”
“It is, but,’’ Jaebeom bites his lip, eyes averted to the ground, ‘’to be honest, I can’t remember who said it.”
Funny, how you can remember quotes. Maybe that’s how we can communicate in the future if your condition gets worse. Although, let’s hope that’s not the case for a long time.
“Ralph…’’ I start, trying to recall who originally said it. ‘’Ralph Waldo? No, that’s not right. He went by his middle name. Wait, his middle name was Ralph so it was him.”
“Have you read his work?”
“Honestly speaking, I haven’t. However, I have a friend who studies American literature and poetry and she sends poems, quotes and the occasional snippet. I think I’ve seen him in passing. Anyways,’’ I pull the bag onto my lap, giddy as a child in a candy shop, ‘’let’s see what’s inside.”
The present catches me off-guard because the bundles of clothing are both what I expected and yet not. “You...” I trail off, checking and double checking the amount of shirts. “Seven?”
“One for every day of the week,” he beams, proudly barking his reasoning.
These will last me two weeks if not longer. Minimalism isn’t his thing, is it?
I pull out a big grey hoodie and hold it up to my nose to sniff it. A wild forest of which the air is faintly scented by a cologne with fruity undertones and the musty smell of books. I hum contently, enraptured by the scent. By him.
From the corner of my eye, I see Jaebeom grinning in unadulterated amusement. Albeit not without effort, I lower the article of clothing. “I know this is likely stupid to ask, but eventually they’ll have to be washed so what if your scent fades?”
“I’ll just scent them again.’’ He shrugs casually before he points inside the bag. ‘’Also, what’s in the little box on the bottom might help with that too.”
In my astonishment, I missed the cardboard square at the bottom which turns out to be the packaging for a bottle of cologne. “You can spray it on. Sure, it’s not really purely my scent but hopefully it’s still rem- remi- a reminder of me.”
You meant reminiscent, didn’t you?
“Or I can go to you and have you scent them,” I joke, only half-serious.
“If that means more time together,” his mismatched eyes sparkling with gleeful stars, “sure, why not? I’d be glad to help.”
“Thank you.’’ Absentmindedly, I fidget with the folds of the hoodie. ‘’I really like it.”
Jaebeom ruffles my hair, letting out a chuff. “You’re welcome. Now, why don’t you just sit tight and I’ll make us something to eat?”
“Don’t set my kitchen aflame, though,” I warn him as the wolf man gets up from the couch.
“I won’t,” he answers smugly before leaning in to steal a kiss. “I promise.”
With a spring in his step, JB sets off for the kitchen with the bag of groceries he pulled from Jinyoung’s trunk. The two must have dropped by the supermarket before coming to pick me up.
A pillow propped up against the armrest and the blanket formerly draped over the couch now covering my shoulders, I lie down for a nap.
As consciousness fades, a warm affectionate wolfish smile pierces through the growing haze. Jaebeom murmurs something unintelligible and turns his gaze back to the chopping board.
I am home.
Dreaming of two little pups running around an orchard.
“Dinner’s ready!” The loud remark barely filters in until it’s repeated up close, the merry bark lowered in volume. A hand shakes my shoulder, but what does the trick in waking me up is the warm wetness nibbling away at my ear. However, it doesn’t stay there, but travels down the side of my neck and ends its journey at the hem of my shirt, giving it a gentle yet fierce tug.
“Y/N, come on. Get up,” JB whines, the words distorted thanks to keeping the fabric firmly between his teeth. He tugs at it again.
What on earth?
I turn onto my other side, causing the big wolf man to let go. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to get you to eat.” He makes himself smaller, gaze briefly averted to the side before looking at me again, continuing in the same tender yet stern tone he uses whenever food is involved. “With me. This is my first time cooking for you and I practiced really hard while you were away. So, please, eat with me. I want to know whether I did a good job.”
“Do you have to drag me by the collar for that?” I reach out to scratch him behind his ear, tracing his jaw as my fingers work upwards.
Jaebeom’s eyes mist over, his expression turning dreamy as he leans into the touch. “Want- Don’t know… know how to- Come to… kitchen. Although, maybe, just...”
“Feels good?”
A hasty sheepish smile flashes on his lips as he nods in agreement, eyes closed and speechless.
You really are a wolf. Weirdo. My weirdo.
A whine slips out when I stop. JB slowly opens his eyes again, blinks a few times before he clears his throat. “Can we do that again? After dinner, maybe?”
“If I liked what you made, sure. However,” I kiss his forehead, “since you asked so nicely, we can do this again after we’ve eaten. So, will you eat with me?”
Will you stay with me?
“What’s wrong?” Picking up on the worrying thought, he tilts his head to the side and scrutinizes my face as he did Jinyoung’s earlier today.
“Nothing.” I shake my head, dismissing the thought since we’ve already said everything there is to say about it. “Just a silly thought.”
His expression falters. “I’m being over- overbear- too much.”
“No, not at all! Don’t say that, silly.”
Jaebeom nudges my nose with his, his tone sweet in an attempt to make me confess what’s bothering me. “Then what is it?”
“I’ve never done this before,” I admit at last. “No one’s ever cooked for me aside from my mom and grandmother or had a guy proudly proclaim himself as my boyfriend. This is simply new to me so it makes me feel, well, a bit awkward. It’s unreal, like a dream that might go up in smoke any second. That’s maybe a better way to put it.”
“I’m really here. Also, remember what you promised me? You’d stay by my side until you can’t anymore and I promised you the same. I’m a wolf, after all. Loyal to my pack or, rather, my- uh- my bi- no, that’s wrong. My lady,” he grabs my hand and lifts the fingers to his lips for a chaste kiss, “I am your gentleman and I won’t go anywhere without telling you first. And, if possible, I’ll take you with me because I refuse to leave you behind. But for now, let’s go eat. Together. I’ll try not to make a mess.”
Don’t cry, Y/N. Don’t you tear up right in front of him.
I take in a shivering breath, swallow hard, and try to regain composure.
We’re here together and wherever it is we’re going next, we’ll be there as we are now.
Side by side.
Even though I’m hungry and the table is literally three steps away, I groan as I get up from the couch. Travelling takes its toll, no matter how short the distance might be. All the same, I shuffle towards the chair facing the kitchen and plop down on it, watching JB plate up. “What are we having?”
“Steak with blanched vegetables and sweet potato mash,” he proudly announces while serving the food.
“Uhm, that’s very nice. However- it’s alright if you don’t remember, but I’m vegetarian.”
“I remembered.” A bright smile forms on his lips, eyes alight with triumph and joy. “That’s why your steak is soy-based. I found it while doing groceries or, rather, Jinyoung pointed it out. He’s been teaching me how to cook and bake. Well, we’re still working on the latter, but I did bring homemade cheesecake for dessert. I still wonder why they call it cheesecake when what’s going in it isn’t really cheese.”
“Beats me too.”
“You got slapped by cream cheese?” Visibly gobsmacked, he leans in with an expression that holds the middle between curiosity and utter confusion. “How did that happen and was it painful?”
“I mean I don’t understand either,” I reply, shaking my head with a low chuckle, and cut into the steak. As the knife sinks into it, a rosy fluid oozes out of it as if it’s been cooked medium-raw which is exactly how I liked it back in my non-vegetarian days. “But baking hasn’t been a success?”
Jaebeom sits back, shoulders hunched as he pokes the carrot on his plate with his fork. “I burned a cake, pulled it from the oven as black as charcoal. Then there’s the case of the exploded soufflés and marble cake that turned out to have no marbling at all. Not to speak of the melted... what’re they called again? There’s also a song that’s got to do with them. Jinyoung sings it a lot. Rocky road! Melted rocky roads and millionaire’s breads.”
“Maybe stick to cooking instead of baking. Not everyone has a knack for both.”
He sighs in defeat. “Maybe I should, but I’ll still try to make you something every once in a while that’s actually good.”
“As long as you don’t blow up one of our kitchens.” I include my kitchen as well because the mere thought of baking together spreads a rosy flush throughout my body that leaves me warm with affection. Besides, it’s another excuse to see him wear an apron, maybe pull some shenanigans myself and have something to eat with a cup of tea or coffee and a good book.
That would make for a nice date. We should do that soon.
“I’ll try.” He holds out his pinky. “Promise.”
The adorable genuineness of the determined gesture is what drives me to seal the promise by wrapping my pinky around his. “I’ll hold you to it.”
While eating the simple yet well-made dinner, the conversation is about novels, the shop, Jinyoung’s cooking lessons and the weary stories of how Kunpimook and I crossed Bruges in search of the best chocolate. Jaebeom hasn’t done much in the time I was away it seems. The bookshop’s been quiet, so he’s had plenty of time to read and work on his cooking. Nevertheless, his expression turns dreamy when I show him the pictures from the trip, but right beneath the surface of it floats a form of sad longing which is too unclear to be certain of or to be properly described.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m glad you got to see this,” he murmurs as he takes my phone from my hand to leave through the collection again. “I’m kinda jealous, though. It’s been so long since I went somewhere other than here. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been somewhere else.”
Brows furrowed, he tries to remember the last time he travelled. Withal, he comes up short, the melancholy of missing memories staining his voice. “I’ve been nowhere except here. Chained.”
“This place clearly is your home, that’s why it’s keeping you here. It knows you belong here and I’m glad you’ve remained.”
He lets out a breathless laugh which oddly holds the middle between a growl and a giggle. “I’m happy you showed up at my doorstep, then. But, the cottage you’ll be moving to... it’d- it’d be nice if I could make that my home too.’’ His cheeks grow pink like rose petals. ‘’Well, maybe not literally, but it would be nice if it would become our little somewhere.”
“Our little somewhere,” I repeat, charmed by the sound of it.
“Our home. Well, concretely speaking. Abstractly, and most importantly, you are my home.’’ He gets up to move to my side, where he crouches at my feet. Foreheads rested against each other, he easily nips at my nose and nuzzles it affectionately with his. ‘’You are what breaks the silence, makes me able to hope for better days.”
“The same goes for you because even though you sometimes still intimidate and freak me out a little bit, you make my days more interesting than they have been in years. So, thank you. For being here, spending your time in my company.”
“Thank you for the same reasons. Now,” JB leans away to get up and starts to clear the dishes, “how about dessert?”
Before either of us is aware of it, the clock on the wall notes it’s already ten past eight when we finish off the homemade cheesecake. Naturally, partially to also do my fair share, I stand up from my chair before the big wolf man does in an attempt to clear the table and do the dishes. However, when I’m about to walk to the kitchen with them, Jaebeom unapologetically takes them from my hands.
“What’re-? JB, you don’t have to do everything! Let me at least do the dishes.” Flattered yet a tad annoyed by the kindness, and poorly conveying my appreciation, I protest in a harsher tone than I intended to use.
Fortunately, though also a bit comically, he remains unperturbed. Notwithstanding, an unyielding sternness underlines his voice when he responds. “You’ve had a long journey, so sit down and relax. I’ll be right with you after cleaning up.”
Henceforth, unable to protest and rendered comatose by the delicious food, I plop down on the couch. Nestled into the corner, I have a proper view of the man who’s claimed my kitchen for himself.
Although it’s an intrusion to a certain degree, it’s quite soothing to watch Jaebeom defy classic gender roles. Contently humming a song and barely shy of skipping, he cleans up the mess with a tea towel tucked into the side of his pants.
When he’s done, he hangs the tea towel over the stove’s handle, washes his hands, and settles down next to me. On a whim, though it’s maybe because of instinct, I get up from my little corner and nestle against him. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as I drape my leg over his thigh to get into a more comfortable position.
Situated snugly in his safe presence, I close my eyes and sigh in pure content. “Can you stay here tonight?”
“Are you sure? Don’t you want to be alone and rest?” he murmurs into my hair.
“I can recharge with you. Besides, you’re nice and warm.” I snuggle up to him more, basking in the mixture of wild wood and cologne. “A perfect pillow.”
He pulls me on his lap, wraps his arms around my body and pulls me flush against his chest, which feels sculpted but not hard with muscle. Abs are nice and all, but I prefer the softness of a defined though not hardened chest.
“If it brings you rest,” he curls his finger under my chin and lifts it, compelling me to look at him, “I’ll stay.”
I run my fingers along his jaw and up to his ear, immediately reducing him to the puppy-like state he tends to get into apparently when being touched like this. “Thank you.”
“My pl- pleasure.” What would have been a normal response is lost in a growl when I accidentally brush against his crotch as I shift my weight and sit up a little.
His eyes snap open, the hazelnut brown and ocean blue irises darkened, devoid of any sense of their former satisfied tenderness. With his thumb he traces the outline of my lips, lowly purring. “Pretty.”
“Jaebeom,” I place my hands on his shoulders, maintaining a bit of distance between us. We shouldn’t rush this, but the sensation of his growing bulge against my thigh, throbbing against the inside of it, convolutes every thought. Somehow, his scent seems to have gotten stronger too, overwhelming me with the same clear message the firm grip on my hips has.
I don’t push him back as he leans in, bridging the emptiness I initiated. Foreheads rested against each other and his calloused hands on my cheeks, he guesses what’s essentially withholding me. “Scared?”
“A bit,” I whimper against his palm, the words muffled by the rough warm skin.
“It’s me, Y/N. I won’t hurt you.” Feverish yet sweetly with persuasive conviction, he kisses me. “I’m your gentleman, your boyfriend.”
“I’m afraid it’ll hurt. That we’re going too fast.”
“We’re not. I want this. I want more of you. With you. But,’’ lips pulled into a straight line, he clears his throat while looking as if he is restraining a wild beast that can easily get the better of him if he lets go, ‘’I’ll leave it up to you.”
So, what you’re asking is…
Jaebeom takes a deep breath to regain his composure, though it has little effect. His breathing remains heavy, close to panting. Nevertheless, the gentle stars return to his eyes as the strained expression softens. “Will you have me?”
#GOT7#Jaebeom#Im Jaebeom#Jaebeom smut#Jaebeom x Reader#Jay B#Defsoul#GOT7 smut#Werewolf AU#GOT7 Werewolf AU
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and when the seasons change (will you stand by me?)
read on ao3 • main masterlist • law school masterlist
summary: when kang sol's mother has to work late, she has to take care of byeol. it's just her luck that she has an exam the next day, one for professor yang of all people. joon hwi, being the kind classmate he is, offers to study with her.
or: byeol is solhwi mastermind, and she's says everything we wanted to say to the two dummies.
request by anon: hiya! saw that you do solhwi prompts so I was thinking that Sol A has to babysit byeol but there's a big test the next day so she calls joon hwi over to help her w studying. meanwhile byeol(being iconic) tries to set them up in true shipper fashion.
a/n: this is based on a request i got on tumblr, pictured above! i have around 5 (ish) fics that will go out over the week so stay tuned for those lmao! uh yeah, i don't really know what else to say other than im really sad law school ended so i've just been sad and mopey, but still writing to fill that hole. as always, enjoy <333
Although Joon Hwi was the 'star' student of Hankuk Law School, he was never much for studying. It's not because everything came to him that easily, but because finding the strength to concentrate and study when he could be hanging out with his friends or doing anything better with his time was insanely tempting. Finding the effort to get to the library, and read up on his textbooks was arduous and he always found it easier to study by himself, no distractions around. This was, of course, until Kang Sol came along. For Joon Hwi, everything in his life was turned on its axis when she came into his life.
When he first met her, in Professor Yang's class, she was just the poor girl being grilled by the professor. His heart went out to her, watching her pull her hair out of the bun to avoid the question. He didn’t know what possessed him to answer for her, but he assumed it to be a one time thing. But from the moment she crashed into him yelling "Second Round Judicial Exam, save me!", he was stuck on her.
Slowly, she was everywhere in his life, from the study group to the legal clinic to a majority of his classes. Unlike so many of his classmates, who were by the book and generally clinical in personality, she was a fireball of energy and passion. In class, despite not being the best student, she would argue with so much passion and energy that it was impossible to win against her. It was fascinating, watching her connect and jump from case to case. She would throw herself into everything she believed in, which included defending him from the school and his uncle.
Joon Hwi has liked girls before, but he's never been so captivated and head-over-heels for anyone in his life. Love and dating seemed secondary, and he preferred to keep it out of his life until he reached his goals. You could call him selfish but he prefers to call it being focused on his goals. He's always had one goal in life, and it was to work with the law, whether as a judge or working as police or as a prosecutor.
Yet, if Kang Sol was in the room, his eyes were on her. Whether she was frustrated at him or teasing him or gleeful with him, he couldn't help but smile at her. If she was around, he was right by her side, making her laugh or cringe or annoyed.
So there he was, studying in the school library with Kang Sol. Professor Yang’s exam was right around the corner and unlike last time, he cannot miss the comma in the given case. Plus, he doesn’t even have the excuse of being accused of a murder this time, so both Sol and Joon Hwi were hunched over their books, pouring into the texts when Kang Sol’s phone blared loudly from her bag, startling them both.
Sol cringed as she dug around in her cloth bag, the classic dirty looks tossed her way by the sleep deprived students as she stood to leave the library and take the call. He buried himself back into the textbook, but the concentration was lost and he was more interested in the call she’d gotten than ins and outs of defamation laws.
Around 10 minutes later, Sol was speeding back to her chair, the phone clutched firmly in her hand. But Joon hwi could see her frustration from a mile away. Her face held that pout, her eyebrows furrowed and grumbling under her breath. It was adorable.
But he was worried, considering it was the day before the exam, Sol couldn’t afford to be distracted from her studies. He wasn’t blind to her struggles in school, but Joon Hwi never considered her lesser than him for not being able to pick up the concepts with speed.
Unlike him, and a majority of his classmates, she had passion and a heart when dealing with clients. He could see it in her mannerisms with clients in the legal clinic, patiently explaining the clause or the issues they might face to the client. She’s sympathetic to the max, always hearing out the client’s grievances before making a judgement on what they had done. She was exactly what the world needed: a sympathetic, patient lawyer that was willing to fight for the client, someone that they can cling to. He and every professor in the school knew it, but it seemed Sol was the only one who never realized how essential she was.
Suddenly, he felt himself getting up to gather his materials with her without a second thought, despite the confused look Sol shot him. He wasn’t sure what exactly possessed him to do it, but he knew that if she wasn’t there, he didn’t want to study at the library either. Grinning at her, he walked out, side by side until they were outside the quiet library. She paused in her tracks all of a sudden, taking him by surprise and he paused too, looking back at her, tilting his head in confusion.
"My mom needs to work late today, so I need to rush home and take care of Byeol," she looked up at him finally, her face apologetic. "I'm sorry, Joon hwi but I don't think I'll be able to study for the exam with you," she started to walk away, but he couldn't let her go that easily.
"I'll come with you," he offered, surprising himself, "I'll study with you. Plus, it'll be easier to take care of Byeol with two people than one, right?"
She paused, looking back at him, conflicted. Sighing, Joon Hwi stepped closer to her. "Come on, let's not keep her waiting. Shall we?" He was determined to keep her company, especially since she’d have less time to study since she’d have to take care of Byeol. It was easier this way, and I’d do this for any friend he told himself.
The ride there was slow and quiet, but not an uncomfortable one. They both walked in tandem, with their backpacks filled with everything they'd possibly need to study, and even the bus ride was peaceful, the two of them staring out the window, watching the scenery pass by them. Joon hwi sat beside her, rather than across from her like last time, just to save space on the bus. On the very empty bus they were riding together.
Days like this, where the air was heavy and humid, the earth preparing for a heavy rain, were the most comforting types of days. The air was still warm and humid, making Sol’s hair poof out slightly, her naturally wavy hair frizzing out of her bun. The feeling of her beside him, as if this was a regular ritual for both of them, brought a sense of content in his heart. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, whether it was the girl beside him or the past year’s chaos, but watching the trees and the traffic pass by them brought more peace to his life than ever.
The two made their way into the alleyway, where Joon hwi had once stood guard of when Lee Man Ho once lived, threatening her family. He's standing in front of Kang Sol's house behind her, holding her backpack in hand as she struggles with the keys.
Finally, finally, she gets the door open, and a figure zips by, crashing into Sol. Byeol’s arms wrapped Sol's waist, like the adorable sister she is. Sol stumbled back into him slightly at the sudden weight thrown onto her, but nonetheless, crouched to envelop her sister in a bone-crushing hug. Joon hwi couldn’t help but smile at the two sisters, their love for each other enveloping him
"Unnie!" she grinned up at her, "Did you bring him with you?" Her eyes were serious and wide as Sol opened her mouth to answer.
"Byeol-ah!" Joon hwi yelled out from behind Sol, peaking out to see the 8-year old grinning at him, much wider than she did at Sol. Ha!
"Joonhwi-oppa!" the girl squealed out, leaving Sol's grip to run to him. As she ran to him, he picked her up and twirled her in the air, the girl's giggles echoing through the small alleyway as the two greeted each other.
Sol, standing by the door, smiled faintly before calling out, "Come in, before either of you catch a cold!" Both of them filed in, incessantly chattering as if they hadn't seen each other in months, even though it had only been two weeks since Joon hwi had been by to take the two sisters out to the park.
"Oppa! Why did you come with Unnie?" Byeol asked, finally being set down inside the house, looking up at him curiously as Sol
"Ah, we have an exam tomorrow, so I'm here to study with her," Joon hwi replied.
"Good," the girl jumped onto the couch. "Unnie needs a lot of help," the girl quipped back, nodding her head solemnly, making her look a lot older than 8 years.
"Yah Kang Byeol!" Sol exclaimed, indignantly. Joon hwi chuckled at the two as Sol turned to him. "Here, we can work in the dining room," she moved to grab her backpack from him, stepping towards the dining room.
"NO!" Byeol yelled out at the both of them, her hand flying out to stop the two of them, "Unnie, you should work in your room instead! You know I'll be watching TV and obviously, it'd be too loud for you to focus," the girl rushed out, her doe-eyes a bit too wide, her voice a little too innocent. She is definitely plotting something, Joon hwi narrowed his eyes at her but she avoided the look, choosing to jump off the couch and walk towards them instead.
Before either of them could protest, the girl pushed the both of them towards, presumably, Kang Sol's bedroom. Sol awkwardly laughed at him, Joon hwi shooting her an amused look. They awkwardly stood in her room, Joon hwi avoiding her gaze and choosing to look at the walls instead. Her room here looked similar to the one she had back on campus. Her desk was stacked to the max, sticky notes lining the walls with old reminders and little notes of encouragement. It was neat, but brightly colored, which suited Sol so very well.
“Let’s get started shall we?” Sol finally said, clearing her throat, gesturing for him to set down his books. He obliged, sitting at her desk while she chose her bed. They both set up all their materials, the awkward silence shifting into a peaceful one, the two working themselves into a comfortable rhythm.
It had been almost an hour of straight studying, both of them regurgitating criminal codes and case precedents from memory. Joon hwi was sure that by this point that his mind was complete mush, and Sol was starting to wither, her eyes almost glazed over while she started into one of her casefiles. Her hair was a lot puffier than it was when they started. Turns out, Sol had a habit of ruffling her hair with her pencil each time she was confused or working herself too hard, which was often.
“Let’s take a break shall we? I’m going to get a glass of water,” he said, standing up and stretching his arms out, trying to put the two out of their misery. He yawned, the stiffness in his muscles finally noticeable when he stretched out. She nodded back to him, yawning and stretching out in her chair, before she picked up her phone to check some messages.
He walked out of her room and back to the living room, where byeol was still glued to her seat, her eyes on the TV playing some cartoon. Heading over to the dining table, he poured himself a glass of water with the pitcher, before heading back to check on Byeol.
“What’s this show called?” he asked her, taking a sip of the water while watching the show with her.
“Hm?” Byeol turned to him, “Oh, it’s this show about two kids who set out to find a treasure mapped out by their parents,” she explained, gesturing towards him to take a seat beside him. He obliged, opting to sit beside the girl, both their eyes glued to the screen. A few moments passed by, before the little girl turned towards him.
“You know, my sister’s favorite color is dark green. Not like emerald green, but forest green tinted with some dark blue,” Byeol said nonchalantly. Joon Hwi’s eyebrows furrowed, confused as to why the girl is telling this to him. “And, her favorite ice cream is this nutella infused one that you get down the street, closer to the town square. It’s been her favorite since she was little,” she continued, not giving his confusion any heed. The girl rapidly started telling him facts about her dear sister, all the while confusion took over his features.
“Joonhwi-oppa,” she squinted at him, pausing as her face grew serious, “You like my sister, don’t you?” He sputtered, choking and coughing out the water. “I knew it!” she excitedly squealed.
“Byeol, byeol, shh, you can’t let your sister know okay,” he brought a finger to his lips, his eyes alarmed. For an 8 year old, Byeol was surprisingly cunning and observant. She had managed to figure out what he had been struggling with for the past year after just a few short visits. They shared a look of understanding between the two, before the girl turned her attention to the show, leaving Joon Hwi walking back to Sol’s room. The Kang Sisters, he shook his head, laughing as he thought, what a perfect duo.
bonus
It had been almost 3 hours of studying together before Kang Sol realized that the sun had set outside, and all of a sudden, they were in a rush to clean up. Joon hwi had to leave before the dorms closed entrance and because of their studying, the two of them had their head buried in books since the time they got to her house.
She was glad to have him over though. Despite her hesitation at the school and fears of inconveniencing him, having Joon hwi made the process a lot smoother. With his careful and gentle help, she had a much easier time understanding the concepts and she was eternally grateful, considering Professor Yang’s exams were always some of the toughest.
They were rushing out of the house, his backpack in her hand as he hurriedly put on his shoes and stepped outside the house. But before Joon hwi could turn with a hurried goodbye, she called out to him, her breath suddenly lodged in her throat.
“Thank you,” she quietly told him, the prospect of looking into his eyes as he leaned over her doorstep daunting. “Thank you for helping me, Joon hwi, it was really kind of you,” she beamed at him, trying to convey her gratitude and more in the only way she knew possible.
They both paused, looking at each other as the air got thicker between them, as if a string was drawing him closer to her. She watched as he swallowed slightly, his adam’s apple moving slightly before he let out a soft “You’re welcome,” and a classic smile, before he rushed out, trying to catch his bus.
She sighed, watching him as he rushed off, capturing the bus. Soon, she thought, Soon, I’ll tell him how I feel. She reassured herself, turning around only to find Byeol hiding behind a pillar.
“Byeol? What are you doing, weren’t you watching a show?” she questioned her sister, but Byeol made no response. Suddenly her sister frowned at her, muttering something about how can she possibly be a lawyer and she’s so blind, leaving her in utter confusion at the front steps.
#law school jtbc#jtbc law school#law school#law school kdrama#law school netflix#jtbc#jtbc drama#solhwi#mine#my writing#fanfiction#kang sol a#kang byeol#han joon hwi#ryu hye young#kim beom#kim bum#i’m not gonna lie i’m not extremely happy with this one but i really struggled to incorporate the scenes i wanted to have so it felt very#repeatitive
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A fee days ago swiss national television published a "documentary" on youtube on how ritual abuse is a conspiracy.
Interviewed the police, an organization supporting victims and survivors, therapists, survivors and asked them, why they belive such conspiracy theories and now, two days later the clinic where the psychiatrist worked at fired him, for talking about such "insanity" in public television, eventhough they had educational days in the clinic for professionals on how to work with survivors of RA and education on it in general.
Im extremely shocked by whats happening. When i saw that such a video came out, i already suspected the worst, but hearing about that is just... brutal.
I highly doubt anyone can do something about whats happening now here, but as someone without that background and "just" childhood trauma im even worried, because that clinic had really good reputation regarding traumatherapy and ive been keeping that in mind for the future, but now it actually gives me the creeps, since it makes me wonder whatelse could be going on there.
RA is a topic that leads to a lot of backlash for organisations. The organisation often gives into pressure to preserve its reputation. Thus a therapist is terminated from their job, no matter how good they are at it.
I haven’t seen the documentary. Switzerland has a number of cults that would therefore lead to RA survivors.
There are no official statistics on the number of cults in Switzerland because keeping groups under surveillance would infringe civil liberties. The police do not get involved as in most cases sect members are consenting adults. One of the rare instances of police intervention was a raid on the Cherry Blossom group near Solothurn in 2015 as they were suspected of using illegal psychotropic drugs like LSD, ecstasy and mescaline.
The deaths of members of the Order of the Solar Temple. Members were told they could only reach Sirius by “death voyages” or ritualised suicide. In 1994 and 1995, 68 were found dead in Switzerland, Canada and France in apparent mass suicides. Most of the bodies were found gassed or shot in two villages in Switzerland. One group was arranged in a star formation in a concealed chamber beneath a remote farmhouse in the village of Cheiry. (1994)
On trial in a Swiss federal criminal court last week, wearing a faded orange-pink robe and sandals, was a slender Indian who called himself Swami Omkarananda, a self-proclaimed teacher of mankind and head guru of a "Hindu-Christian" sect known as the Divine Light Center. The charges against the 49-year-old swami and what the prosecution called the hard core of his 80 followers ranged from theft and trespassing to attempted murder and grievous bodily harm. (1979)
Uriella had a “sanctum” in Egg ZH, Canton of Zürich, (Switzerland), it served as a centre for the members to gather around her, and she was considered to be the direct “Sprachrohr” (speaking tube) of Jesus Christ. The archangel Uriel advised her as well. Despite the doctrine using many Christian terms and names, it does not contain many Christian aspects. The group's philosophy is a mixture syncretic Jewish-apocalyptic, gnostic, and eastern religious (Buddhist) beliefs as well as esotericism, astrological Kabbala, spiritualism, Theory of Colours, alternative medicine, ecology, archaic mysticism and UFO related ideas.
Klaus Pesch, Religious sect wants to set up Isle of Man base Isle of Man 2010
Anastasia-movement, the view of the Anastasia movement, children up to the age of nine years, "pure and all-knowing". An offshoot of the Anastasia-sect of the club "family land, seats for Switzerland", which has its headquarters in Winterthur.
There are more groups in Switzerland and no country is immune to cults/RA.
Oz
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slow dancing in the dark (kaider au)
part ten
summary: cinder is the palace mechanic and kai is the prince of the eastern commonwealth. even though they could never be together, they start a secret relationship.
(sorry this took 20 million years to write sdjmgfnsjdfk)
***
the following week after the emperor’s death, the palace was chaos. a funeral had passed, preparations for the upcoming coronation and ball were being worked on at every moment, and the search for a cure was in more demand than ever. no one wanted to see another beloved leader die to the horrible disease.
the city was a mix of grief, worry, and excitement. as much as the commonwealth loved kai, they worried he wouldn’t be a good leader at such a young age, and they didn’t want to see him crack under the pressure. they were hoping the ball would be a break from the darkness. they wanted a night of fun to forget all of the tragedy that their country had been through.
kai was a nervous wreck, of course, and was terrified of the upcoming events. all he wanted to do was lay in bed for days and block out any responsibilities. unfortunately, that was a luxury he couldn’t have. he was going to be emperor in the next few days, whether he was ready or not, and nothing could change that.
while everyone was planning the coronation and ball, kai was coming up with a secret plan. he had to make sure cinder would be able to come to the palace without getting caught by her retched family, and that would require some help. so he ended up telling torin he wanted to bring his “friend” to the ball for his healing and comfort. although his advisor was weary of letting an employee be the special guest, he allowed it once he saw kai’s puppy eyes.
he had his stylist get cinder’s outfit and store it in his bedroom. he hoped she would like it, but he knew she would pick cargo pants over a dress any day. cinder was going to have to tell adri that she was needed at the palace late so she could stay and get ready. everything was coming together, and kai really hoped it would work. it was the one thing he was looking forward to. if everything went well, then they had a chance to really being together, and he wanted that more than anything.
***
after another day of dreadful meetings, kai was drained. all he could think about was how he was somehow on the same level as these older, powerful leaders, and he would be discussing serious topics and problems with them continuously now. it was weird thinking about how just years go, he was a curious kid, trying to listen and sit it on his dad’s meetings with the same people.
it was getting late, and he didn’t want to feel sad anymore, so he threw on a hoodie and snuck out of the palace. even though he got a stern yelling from torin last time he did this, he didn’t really care, he needed to see cinder.
as excited as he was, he was still filled with dread at seeing the phoenix tower apartments. he hated cinder living there. the image of her sad bedroom and the stories of adri’s abuse haunted him, and his patience was the only thing keeping him from taking her away from all of it.
kai sent a comm to cinder before walking into the lobby, not wanting to freak her out this time. he also didn’t want to risk waking the step monster.
hey, i’m outside your building. can you sneak down here?
a few moments went by before his portscreen chimed with a response.
you’re clinically insane...i’m coming down.
her message made him laugh as he waited by the front doors. he saw cinder in the lobby, wearing his hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. kai smiled at the sight. she opened the door and waved him inside, ushering for him to move quickly. he walked towards her and glanced around, seeing the office man sleeping at the front desk again.
“are you crazy?” cinder whispered. grabbing his hand and leading him to the back staircase.
“according to your comm, yes.” he laughed, not even questioning where she was taking him as they stepped down into a dark room. she flicked on a small light and the metal of tools and work tables dimly gleamed back at them. “is this your secret hideout?”
cinder shrugged, “you could say that.” after she spoke, they faced each other, their smiles softening. it had been a while since they saw each other in person. the past week had been a mess, and they had both been missing each other like crazy, hoping for an opportunity to communicate without using their portscreens. “what brings you here at two in the morning?”
kai thought of where he was an hour ago, alone in his bed, feeling something missing. his heart ached and he wanted to bring it home. “i just needed you, that’s all.” he spoke with a gentle smile.
she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. a sigh of content left his lips, and while he felt lighter already, nothing could stop the weight of grief and uncertainty sitting on his chest. “you’ve got me, kai. always.” cinder whispered.
his fingers wove themselves into her hair, holding her close. he started to think of the ball, of dancing with her in front of everyone, all eyes on them. an idea popped in his head and he began to grin. “cinder?”
“hm?”
“do you know how to dance?”
cinder’s face fell, looking scared and embarrassed in an instant. “oh my stars, i don’t know how to dance.” her eyes were wide with panic as she spoke.
kai laughed and put one hand on her waist, the other grabbing hers and holding it. “it’s okay, i’ll teach you.” he almost laughed at her expression, but he refrained, instead focusing on getting her in the correct position. “you don’t have to be nervous.” he teased.
“i’m worried i’ll crush your foot with my metal one.” she frowned, looking at the floor.
kai let out a little laugh. “you won’t. now come on, dance with me.”
he started to guide her, stepping back and forth, taking it slow. it was proving difficult to dance in a crowded, dim basement but they were making it work. she stumbled a little and he helped her get back into it. she still seemed nervous, like she was sure she wasn’t good enough. but as they kept going, she eased into it, starting to memorize the steps and follow kai smoothly.
“see? it’s not so bad.” kai whispered as he brought her body closer to his.
“because you’re doing most of the work.” she giggled, resting her head on his chest, listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat. she wondered how many times kai had to dress up, pick a dancing partner, and waltz across the palace floor all night. probably hundreds, and he would do it a thousand times more in his reign. she hoped everything would work out and he wouldn’t have to pick another partner ever again.
he rested his head on hers, trying to get as close as possible without messing up their progress. he knew they wouldn’t be able to dance like this at the ball, it would be far too inappropriate, so he took advantage of the moment. as he held her, his heart rushed with warmth, replacing the dark emotions that burdened him all week. “cinder?”
“yeah?” she picked her head up and looked at him. her beautiful brown eyes met his, that small yet alluring smile appearing, and he swore he saw heaven.
his breath caught in his throat, the words resting on the tip of his tongue. every time he looked at her, he knew, but he didn’t say it. before everything started changing, he was afraid that he would lose her, that saying what he felt would make it all too difficult. but now they had this great scheme to stay together forever, to eventually walk down the aisle, to rule a country together. he allowed himself to be truthful and certain now.
“i love you.”
the words filled the silent air as cinder’s eyes widened. he wondered if she ever heard that sentence before. the dancing stopped and she froze, looking shocked. kai hoped he didn’t scare her, knowing he had done enough of that with his marriage and ball proposals.
slowly, she seemed to come back to earth, and that smile reappeared. “i love you, too.”
her voice captured him and he brought her back to him, kissing her passionately. it was like their bond had intensified, like a string that couldn’t break, something that would be with them for the rest of their lives.
once they separated and let air slip between them, cinder laughed. “what?” kai asked.
she shook her head, “we’re crazy. absolutely insane.”
he nodded, “yeah, you’re right, but we’re gonna make it work.”
***
get it...? they slow danced in the dark!!! :))))
next part is going to be the ball!
taglist: @strawberry-seraph @duskietapp @winterrhayle @stylampa @wwwwyamd @whyiask @i-swear-im-google @phobidawg @plain-jane-mclain @princesspri222 @marialovesdean @maradovan @moon-swoon @nodrianbcyes @janisarkisian @cyborg-martyr-wolf-monarch @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @cerenoya @idkchatie @half-heaven @dawniebb @scxundress @queen-of-self-love @quietintrovertt @invisiblebobs @lavenderbloo @healing-winston-pratt @hearing-in-color @horton-hears-a-who @cosmicnovaflare @a-salting-the-world @angstycatthatlikestea @poptart-boy @grad-school-fool @gatorademachinegun @girlfriendisthemoon @honey-harper-official @coralsclato @bookishfangirl14 @bakergirl13 @addies-invisible-life @f-r-o-p @disco-funk-and-soul09 @lani-sleeps @daydreaming-optimist @the-sunflowerstar @mistydacat @salt-warrior @love-and-anarchy-au
(let me know if u want to be added or taken off <3
#kaider#kaider au#kaider fanfic#kaider fanfiction#kai#emperor kai#prince kai#kaito#cinder x kai#cinder#linh cinder#selene blackburn#tlc#tlc fanfic#tlc au#marissa meyer#slow dancing in the dark#slow dancing in the dark au#the lunar chronicles#the lunar chronicles fanfic#the lunar chronicles au#cindersnightmare#usermaven
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