#I Just Want to Have Friends

[crowbarsolo]

The Sigma Male Grindset

Haven't been very active on here, sorry. Here's a bingo fill.

Title: The Sigma Male Grindset

Fandom: One Piece

Rating: T

Content warnings: sexism, racism, homophobia, non-graphic torture, main POV character is an incel

Characters: Aramaki, Sakazuki, King the Wildfire, Queen the Plague

Ship: none

Prompt used : I just want to have friends

Summary: The highly successful habits of "Greenbull" Aramaki, Admiral of the World Government Navy, in his mission to cleanse the world of the scourge of piracy (and earn his superior's approval along the way).

Excerpt:

People became stronger under adversity. Sometimes, unfortunately, adversity would make itself scarce, and a man would be forced to improvise. Aramaki poured himself a cold bath and emptied several bags of ice cubes in the tub. When it was full to the brink, he immersed himself and held his breath, waiting for the numbness to creep to his bones. The bath would put him into a trance-like state. From the cold and the darkness, he would hear the voices of his ancestors, hard men who’d settled the wilderness and forced it to submit to their will, founding a brand of grocery stores that was known all over the East Blue to this day. “This one makes us proud. He’s not a limp-wristed pussy like his cousin Jiro.” Take that, Jiro, you fucking loser.

Aramaki counted up to five hundred and emerged with a disappointed snort. The ancestors weren’t feeling chatty today. He poured himself a tall glass of cold water while he read his morning newspaper, scowling at the never-ending catalog of crime and degeneracy that filled its columns.

His navigator was already on deck, sketching a bird that had come to roost on the bow of the ship. “Good morning, sir,” she said as he emerged from the captain’s cabin. “The magnetic fields have stabilized. We can set out today, if you’d like.”

“How’s the repair going?” he asked, hoping to gain time. They’d stopped at a neutral outpost to fix an issue with the ship’s rudder.

“It will hold up until we reach Headquarters.”

“Good.” He watched her bite into an apple as she pencilled in the ruffles in the bird’s tail feathers. She was good at her job, unfussy and competent, and he was tempted to ask her what she thought he should do.

However, a man ought never start a conversation with a woman by asking a question; it was a sign of weakness. Instead, Aramaki repositioned himself to maximize his jawline-to-neck ratio and instill in her an unconscious sense of awe. He firmly believed that emotions like respect, love and obedience could be compelled through careful manipulations of one’s angles and curves, the hypnotic geometry through which bodies reflected nature’s mathematical order. “Did you know that sugar is one of the leading causes of leaky gut syndrome?” he asked. (This, being rhetorical, did not count as a real question.)

Read the rest on AO3

[no-nameno-face]

Dying for queer friends to vent about girl probs with… is that too much to ask for???(message meee) I hate where I live everyone’s ragingly my straight and madddd homophobic. (Also I basically use this tumblr as my gay journal and I love it sm pls don’t hate me, I have no where else to go🥹)

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LESBIANS: 2x08 - “Killing is a Cycle”

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[rafeandonlyrafe]

well 🧍‍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.

[songs-ofa-dyingbird]

At lunch my friend sat one seat away from me, my other friend sat one seat away from me on the other side- the third friend tried to sit on the farther side of the second friend until second friend told them to sit next to me

What did I do??????

I’ve had these friends for like a week and I’ve already fucked it up! What did k do?????

[slipperylilfrog]

WHY AM I SO AFRAID TO LIKE THINGS OPENLY?! WHY IS THIS MY STUPID TIGER? RELEASE ME PLEASE I WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS THAT I TALK ABOUT SHARED INTERESTS WITH!!!! 😭

[mercysventingblog]

why is it considered rude to say "i know" when one actually knows the information of which the other is talking about in a conversation?

like, my father tells me of scams and phishing (like i was still unaware and didn't know after the 27 other times.), and he says USPS don't usually tell you stuff via text. i say "i know" and he takes it offensively (furrowed brow, huff, higher technically-can't-be-considered-mocking-but-really-is-such intonation)

(like the one where the kids have plausible deniability when they asked me "oh wow do you like beetles?" (in a teasing, mocking, probably bullying way; laughing after they say that, and grinning all the while) when i was researching beetles and talking to my friend about them & how much i love them & why. i scoff and they say "oh, well, i'm just asking!!! don't be sooo easily offended.".)

is it not a compliment to have your (directed however not directed to you, the reader.) kid know, if anything??? to know your kid understands? it's factual, are you offended, too, when i say 1 + 1 = 2?

i waited until he was done talking (DID NOT INTERUPPT AT ALL), and i responded accordingly, with my genuine verbal reaction, in a non-monotonous voice. (i have an issue with saying what i don't truly think just to be nice and have people like me, alongside my voice being monotonous and thus passive aggresive and ingenuine?) i responded trying to sound nice, with the kindest intonation i can do. but he's still offended? what? i thought it was my monotonous voice that set people off?

i genuinely dont understand.

do i need to get a psychology degree to understand this? i'll get it. i will study relentlessly. i'll know everything about psychology until the cows come home. please just tell me why.

maybe i am overthinking this but please this has happened so many times with my mom and my dad and my aunt and just any adult in my life i am so confused and they never tell me why they're angry at me after i said i know.

my mum tells me that everything that can cause harm is offensive. okay. i believe her, but WHY BE SO ANGRY OVER SOMEBODY SAYING THEY KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT?? would you rather be angry over being understood or not being understood? is he mad he thinks i misunderstood? i did not, i told him the information he told me to prove that i understood his idea entirely, BUT HES STILL ANGRY AT ME AND CALLED ME A 'SMART-ASS'? what did i do wrong please im just a teenager i dont understand.

please i write all these little clarifications in my writing to make sure i'm not misunderstood because misunderstandings make me lose friends, reputation, opportunities, EVERYTHING and they see it as condescending and me thinking they don't already understand. how am i supposed to know you would understand? why is it considered an insult to not understand something? why is it bad to lack ungiven knowledge? "oh, well, because who wouldn't understand?" (in response to the first question in the paragraph)

I DON'T KNOW????? YOU???? i don't know whether or not you would understand which is entirely why i do this. im so tired. im sorry if i come off as rude in this. i genuinely don't know how to phrase my feelings to be nice AND accurate. i don't want to downplay my feelings. please. i'm already AFAB so i was told to always be nice and polite and to just say "oh, i kinda think you shouldn't be doing that!" instead of "don't do that." to be nice and to not sound mean. if only i was born a handsome man. maybe everything would be better.

please how do i be human.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

whens megatron coming back

[stickyvoidpaper]

Dick : Jasons been more, relaxed lately. It's unsettling.

Tim : Yeah, I've started spiking his water with mood stabilizers.

Dick : What

Tim : I've been thinking of doing it to the wider gotham water supply. Think about the crime rates.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[humming-fly]

was anyone gonna tell me shadow saved rouge's life in sa2 or was I just supposed to find that out playing the game myself

(this worked out as a rather fitting closer for the Final Day in Year of Shadow haha, hope ya'll have a fun new year! 🎉🎉🎉)

[alexfromtargay]

I just want to make connections with people like normal. Why does it seem that the people around me make connections with each other. I really try not to be awful but it seems like I am the problem. I try so hard to be an open person and I am out of things to try.

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.