#I JUST WANTED TO SAVE THIS.... ITS A BIG FAV

[nomaishuttle]

on a semi related note there r like 2 specific times i remember expecting one of my safe foods and getting something entirely different and being SO insanely upset abt it even though the thing i got still tasted good

[mariasont]

maria, i have an ideaaa!!

bimbo!assistant!reader goes on a date with a really shitty guy. and she sneaks away to the back door and calls hotch in the alley to come and save her (it’s also raining). she’s all wet and her makeup’s all ruined when hotch comes.

he then takes her back to his place and takes care of her… and… mushy soft fluffiness happens… and maybe feelings are confessed… and maybe a kiss or 2 happens…🥰💖

TALK ABOUT A BAD DATE - A.H

a/n: genius, genius, you are an absolute genius!!!!!!!!!!! this was probably my fav bimbo!reader fic to write <3 thank you sm for requesting

masterlist

pairings: aaron hotchner x bimbo!assistant!reader

warnings: um the rain takes out reader's shirt, so she does kinda flash him for a hot sec, hotch also blatantly checks out her ass, cuties being sickeningly cute, cuties kiss in 4k

wc: 2k

A perfect, flawless, stunning, never-been-done before outfit wasted on a loser of a guy. Your makeup had taken an hour alone, your hair—well, you didn't even want to think about it because you were certain you were starting to break out in hives.

You steadied yourself against the brick wall, the uneven asphalt beneath your heels threatening to take you down as you fished your phone from the depths of your purse.

You dialed the first number you could think of--Hotch's. His was also the only one you had memorized. The battery icon flashed a warning of five percent as you hunched beneath the alleyway's awning, trying to shield yourself from the rain. You desperately hoped he'd pick up.

There was frankly no plan B if he didn't. Go back inside and ask you so-called date for a ride? That was not an option. The moment he pulled up in one of those big trucks, with its deafening music and roaring engine, you regretted not driving yourself. After all, you were well aware what men were compensating for with a big truck.

"Hotchner."

His voice was gruff, the sound slightly distorted by the speaker. You imagined he had just walked through his door, despite the time being eight o'clock on a Friday night. He was presumably preparing to pour his routine glass of scotch.

"Sir, it's me," you said, attempting to ignore the relentless raindrops assaulting your makeup--a battle they seemed intent on winning. Clearly, the concept of setting spray was foreign to them. "Can I ask you for a favor? If you say yes, I pinky promise I'll stop rearranging your desk. I know you have a system, but it just looks so bland sometimes."

"I'm going to overlook that desk comment," he stated, his sigh audible through the phone. You could picture the pensive frown that came with it. "What do you need?"

You drew your lips into a tight line, looking down to watch the rain mock the effort you had put into your outfit.

"Can you come pick me up? Pretty please with sugar on top?"

"Pick you up? From where? Are you okay?"

You shivered slightly, your free hand instinctively rubbing warmth into your arm. You should've brought a jacket. The thought of sharing this evening's failings with your boss did not sound appealing, so you avoided most of his questions.

"I'll text you the location, okay?"

"Okay, yes, I'll be there. Just stay put."

You thanked him and followed that by a double promise to stay put (he didn't believe you the first time). You also told him you'd wait inside, which was less than truthful. The thought of getting drenched was far more attractive than the prospect of bumping in that women-hating boy again.

You didn't have to wait long, thankfully, spotting Hotch's car turn into the alley, the headlights flaring up like spotlights against your face. You used a manicured hand to shield your eyes, narrowing them against the glare. The distinct sound of a door opening and closing signaled his arrival, and soon, Hotch was striding towards you.

"Christ, get in the car," Hotch insisted, more a command than a suggestion.

He was by your side in an instant, his arm on yours as he opened your door and helped you in. Then, unexpectedly, he reached over you to fasten the seatbelt. You giggled, his hand pausing just above your thigh.

"What?"

The rain gently streamed over his perfect skin, his hair now saturated and plastered to his brow, his blue dress shirt bearing the brunt of the downpour.

"You don't trust me to buckle my own seatbelt?"

"I don't trust you with a lot of things." Completely false. "For instance, your choice of men." Completely true.

He clicked the seatbelt into place and swung the door shut, cutting off any chance of a response, then moved around the car to the driver's side.

You can't help but pout, even as your eyes traced the line of his jaw. "How'd you know?"

Any trace of annoyance vanished as quickly as it came as he placed a hand behind you, giving you an even better view of his profile while he reversed the car. Your focus shifted to the ripple of muscles under his shirt.

"I'm trained to know when someone is in distress and you practically spelled it out. The restaurant, the clothes..." His voice tapered off, disguising his pause with a cough while his gaze flickered over your outfit, his cheeks tinged with a fleck of red. "I've got a spare sweatshirt in the back if you need it."

You traced his line of sight to your chest. Emitting a small squeak, you quickly shielded yourself with your arms, realizing that your white top had become completely see through.

"Totally not embarassing," you say, pursing your lips as you unbuckle your seatbelt.

"It's fine," Hotch insists, but you don't miss how his eyes are now careful not to drift from the road. "Put your seatbelt back on."

"I can't reach the sweatshirt."

You shift to face the back, knees planted on your seat as you lean over to grab just the thing you were looking for. In the rearview mirror you catch the brief moment his eyes do stray, discreetly (or so he thought) sweeping over your ass.

A self-satisfied smile crept across you face as you slid back into your seat, slipping on the sweatshirt. It smelled like him—an intoxicating blend of aged leather and pine. You liked it. A lot.

"So do you wanna talk about it?"

You really didn't. With a sigh, you dug through your purse for your lip gloss. Flipping down the passenger mirror, you froze, confronting your reflection.

"Hotch, didn't you think to mention my face is all... smudgy?"

Your mascara (and setting spray) had betrayed you, leaving dark trails down your cheeks and a slightly unhinged look.

"Your face is perfect," Hotch remarks dryly, like he was tired of you, he undoubtedly was. You were a handful after all. "Why are you avoiding my question?"

You let out a delighted gasp.

"Did you just say my face is perfect?" Leaning over the console, you tap his nose with your finger. "You're just the sweetest."

The look Hotch gives you is flat, expectant as if he knows just what you were trying to do.

"Okay, okay, fine, it was just a terrible date. Like, Hotch, I'm talking disaster-level bad. He made fun of my job, ate like a toddler, and his truck? He wouldn't shut up about it." Your hands are now shuffling through the contents of your purse in a panic. "And now, I can't find my keys."

"Your house keys?"

A breath of frustration flows from you, fingers pulling through your hair as you nod. "Dang it."

You felt a slight unraveling in your usual poise, and the panicking that came with it. Hotch's hand landed on your shoulder, his thumb grazing across your collarbone.

"Hey, it's fine. It's late, and you're upset. You can stay at my place tonight, I'll crash on the couch, and we'll find your keys in the morning."

He made everything seem so simple.

"I'm not upset," you insist, lips pursing as you angle your body just enough to feel his touch more fully.

His hands felt right on you.

He chuckled quietly, his thumb tracing a path from your shoulder to brush away the solitary tear beneath your eye that you hadn't noticed before.

"Must be a raindrop," you shrug. Hotch's soft laugh tells you he doesn't quite buy it. "Are you sure you don't mind me staying over?"

"I'm certain."

"Okay."

"So why did your date make fun of your job?"

"Because," you start, your fingertip lazily sketching doodles on the misted car window, "when I was telling him about being an assistant and working for you, he implied that the only reason you hired me was so you had something pretty to look at."

"Well, he's not entirely wrong."

You let out a surprised giggle. "Hotch!"

You reach over the console, pinching his arm which he just laughed off, pulling into what you assumed was his driveway. You had never been to his house. It was nice. Really nice, the kind you'd find in movies—not imposing, but inviting, with its brick walls and stout brown pillars framing the porch.

You were even more surprised when you entered the house. The image you had of Hotch's house one of meticulous order, a place where you could hear the tick of a clock from rooms away. But this... this was a home. There were throw blankets casually draped over the couch, books overflowing, armchairs worn in just the right places.

You lean down, intent on stripping off the torturous heels, but a wobble has you teetering. Hotch is quick to step in.

"Here," he offers, lifting each foot in turn to his knee, skillfully undoing the straps and easing them off you.

Standing flat-footed, you suddenly feel much shorter, and you wonder if Hotch has ever seen you without them.

You look up at him, smiling cheekily. "My very own prince charming."

He ignored you and moved through the living room. "Do you want a pair of sweatpants?"

"Sharing clothes now, are we? I bet there's a clause against this in the employee handbook."

Hotch raises an eyebrow, "I don't think I need to remind you of the numerous times I've overlooked your creative interpretations of the handbook rules."

"So you're admitting to showing me favoritism?"

You plucked the sweatpants from his hands, not giving him an option to respond as you shuttled yourself into his bathroom. You changed quickly, trading your sopping wet clothes for Hotch's dry, warm ones.

You reentered the living room to find Hotch reclining on the couch with an ease that was new to your eyes. He, too, had slipped into something more comfortable—sweats and a form fitting grey long sleeve that threatened to distract you completely.

You dropped your purse onto the coffee table and settled next to him, maybe a little closer than you should have.

He let out a sound that was more a breath than a laugh, a sound that all the same made your heart flutter unexpectedly. "You've still got some, uh, makeup under your eyes."

He reached up to wipe it away with his thumb.

"It won't come off that way," you said, grabbing his wrist with a soft smile. "I have makeup wipes in my purse."

But he didn't hand you your bag like you would've thought, instead he dug through it, pulling out the wipes and starting to dab at your face. The softness of his touch felt disarmingly intimate, so gentle it coaxed your eyes to flutter more slowly, eyelids becoming more heavy.

Your head tilted downward and Hotch used his free hand to tilt it back up. "Stay still, or I'm going to poke your eye out."

"You're making me sleepy," you murmur, your voice a soft, drowsy hum, but then he moved the wipe to your lips and suddenly you were anything but.

He was even more gentle with your lips, if that was possible, wiping away the gloss like you were made of glass.

Your eyes snapped open, and you found yourself gazing into his warm, brown-sugared eyes, your heart thundering in your chest. You could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. How did you get so close? You weren't sure, but he was there, noses almost touching.

He pulled away the wipe, using his thumb to clean up left over gloss though you were sure there wasn't any. His hand paused there, resting on your lower lip like it was meant to be there. You felt every fiber of your being stand on high alert. You wondered what he was thinking.

Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him?

"Are you going to kiss me?" You asked, half-hopeful, half-daring, giving a microphone to your inner monologue.

He took a moment, eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes then back down again. "Yes."

It was certain. Like there was no doubt about it, but he didn't move.

"Okay, I'm ready," you breathed out, pulse roaring in your ears.

Hotch's laughter was a low and warm sound. You had heard it a lot tonight.

"You kill me," he said, and it wasn't patronizing—it was affectionate and genuine, and it made your whole body turn to mush.

Then his lips were on yours, and you were both laughing, the sound muffled by lips. It was tentative at first but it quickly morphed into something sweet and soft and perfect.

"Aren't you glad my date went terribly?" you mumbled into his soft skin.

"Devastatingly glad."

One thing was clear—Hotch was not going to end up sleeping on the couch tonight.

taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @broadwaytraaaaash @sunfyyre @sleepysongbirdsings @trulycayla @crouchingapple @navia3000 @aaronlovesava @bakugocanstompme @averyhotchner @everythinglizzy @sky2nd

join my taglist here!

[minkiverse]

JEONG YUNHO FIC RECS

Poly!Ateez Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Kim Hongjoong - Park Seonghwa - Kang Yeosang - Choi San - Song Mingi - Jung Wooyoung - Choi Jongho

The most boyfriendiest member of Ateez!!! I have like fully signed up to the idea that people who bias Yunho, write some of the best fics. THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY COINCIDENCES!!!!!! asdffgkfg anyway, I hope you enjoy and support these authors!!!!!!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

DISCLAIMER none of these works are mine and majority are MATURE 18+, please read all warnings before reading!!!

Key:

✨ - My Favs

🔥 - Smut (MINORS DNI)

⛈️ - Angst

💗 - Fluff

🍑 - Humor

SERIES

save a horse, ride a cowboy + horses are still overrated - @yunhoszn 🔥⛈️💗 Cowboy!Yunho

i loooove a hallmark type romance ok i cant help it 😭😭 but city girl!mc meeting and falling for cowboy!yunho its just so good like damn i wish that were me 😔😔

blinding faith - @kitten4sannie 🔥⛈️ Cult AU ✧ Ongoing

other members do appear in this but this yunho is absolutely terrifying!!!👏👏 he is such a commanding presence and how the mc is so enraptured by him makes me so curious of how this will play out!!!

summer nights + summer's end - @honeyhotteoks 🔥⛈️💗 Friends to Lovers AU ✧ Roommate AU

if honeyhotteoks is writing im reading ok its as simple as that👏👏 this yunho is such a goddamn tease but also how could you not fall deeply in love with him???

ONE SHOTS/DRABBLES

realistic sex with yunho - @byuntrash101 🔥

Stay Quiet - @desirehorizon 🔥

Early Hours - @honeyhotteoks ✨🔥💗 Idol AU

this is MY yuyu fic!!!!! how this author writes yunho is the most endearing and like feels so genuinely him i could melt 🫠🫠 and this fic is just pure indulgence 👏👏 i feel like the trope of running into an idol after a concert has been done a lot, but this is just written so well and i cannot count the amount of times i have re-read this asfdgfghf

jeong yunho boyfriend texts - @koizekomi 🍑 College AU

lovers in the night - @atzfilm 🔥⛈️ Sugar Daddy AU ✧ Exes to Lovers AU

the drill - @byuntrash101 ✨🔥

like i said in my tags, i love losers with big dicks ok i cant help it 😔😔 like yuyu being so nervous was just so cute but then how this man is when he is fucking !?!?!! 😩😩😩

A helping hand - @yeosbbm 🔥 Roommates AU

opposites attract - @tainsan 🔥💗 College AU ✧ Tutor!Yunho

puppy pjs - @deathbyyeekies 💗

yunho princess treatment - @planet-dusk 🔥

first time - @ateezscupid 🔥 College AU ✧ Aphrodisiacs

Try Again - @desirehorizon 🔥⛈️ Exes to Lovers AU

PUPPYBOYS4YOU.COM - @kitten4sannie 🔥Camboy AU

A "First" Date - @wooyoungiewritings 🔥💗 Friends to Lovers AU

Untitled - @lovelyuyu 🔥

Untitled - @sxcret-garden 🔥

tupelo - @puddingyun 🔥💗 Actor AU

Tight - @sxcret-garden 🔥

NSFW Alphabet - @sxcret-garden 🔥

body language - @k-hotchoisan 🔥 Brother's Best Friend AU

attention - @seonghwaddict 💗

Want me to teach you? - @shocymer 🔥College AU

the best of the best - @seonghwaddict 🔥 Cyberpunk 2077 AU

boyfriend texts - @beenbaanbuun 🍑

outlaw - @pirateprincessblog 🔥⛈️ Wild West AU

Stuffed - @desirehorizon 🔥

Feeling Like I Do - @sorryimananti-romantic 💗 Friends to Lovers AU

[thel0v3hashira143]

❝ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐄! ❞

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ yuuji megumi gojo nanami n choso ☆ how jjk men act when they have a crush on you!

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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ fem!reader, black coded but anyone can read

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ notes: ahhh the comeback post!! let's just say my old works were...less than coherent. but im here and ready to slay the day after 2-ish years!! take these crumbs while i try and find my footing again. stay hot lovies 🎀🎀

yuuji itadori 🌸

my babyyy (sob sob) yuuji would def try to impress you with his athleticism, bc girls like that stuff right? (gojo told him that...save him)

he frequently challenges you to friendly competitions when sparring to showing off his skills.

he def let's you get quite a few hits on him and he may even let you win from time to time (seeing your smile makes getting knocked on his ass worth it)

he might act a bit bashful, but he's straightforward. he knows he has a crush on you so why would he hide it?

expect nice gestures like him wanting to carry things for you, buying you food, watching all your fav movies, ect.

speaking of which, movie hangouts!!!

every friday usually you, megumi, nobara, and yuuji all get together and watch a movie

buuuttt if he's feeling especially brave he'll invite you to his dorm to watch the newest movie in your favorite series! (yes, he keeps track of when they come out)

he loves that it becomes y'alls thing and he loves it even more when you lay your head on his shoulder and doze off &lt;;33

he also gives hella compliments cause something in my gut says his love language is words of affirmation.

anticipate many "isn't [name] just the coolest?" or "you look great today [name]!"

im telling you he could never run out of nice things to say to you, whether it be about your looks or personality

as soon as he realizes he likes you he takes down those pin up girl posters in his dorm

he also obviously thinks you're more beautiful than jennifer lawrence argue wit ur mama

he is also obviously a personality over looks guy so dont act surprised if you see him looking at you with a lovesick grin if he catches you doing something kind for someone

expect him to confess his feelings sooner rather than later

"yeah, why wouldn't i have a crush on [name]? shes beautiful and badass! but don't tell her, okay?"

megumi fushiguro 🌸

megumi, unlike yuuji is quite reserved, even with his friends

honestly gives no indication that he likes you at all 💀💀 he stares at you pretty intensely at first (to admire your beauty) but quickly catches on that you think its weird..

once you two get closer though, megumi would frequently express his crush through small gestures

he strikes me as a reader so i can see him recommending his favorite books to you or even lending you some of his.

you two exchange books often and he highlights quotes that remind him of you

i can also see book shop hangouts where you two sit and read together in some small bookshop he found in the city.

(he's just admiring you read)

he's not a huge compliment/affirmation guy but quality time is a big one for him

whether it be on missions, sparring, or out with the rest of the first year's, he enjoys any time he can have with you.

megumi is also very protective but like...subtly

he secretly watches out for you during missions, making sure you're safe without drawing attention to it

he'll insist you two split up but send one of his divine dogs to accompany you to wherever you go.

even when you're out and about in tokyo he always likes to stay close to you. he follows you around (not in a creepy way more like a lost puppy way)

follows you into stores you like even if he has absolutely no interest.

all in all he's just a shy guy who's whipped for you &lt;3

"i enjoy spending time with you. a lot."

teen!satoru gojo 🌸

gojo...you bastard...(affectionate)

erm ngl i can def see him being a bully to you at first...

not like a bully bully but he def teases you a lot and it gets under your skin sometimes. (you hate him)

but in reality hes jus a spoiled litte rich boy in love.

once he realizes his feelings he still pokes fun at you sometimes, but tones it down hard and turns on his charm.

gojo's approach is confident and playful. he teases you, always with a charming grin, creating a dynamic that keeps things lighthearted and enjoyable.

he'll find excuses to spend time with you, whether it's offering to train together

unlike yuuji he doesn't care if he likes you this son of a gun will NOT let you win istg

it's like he's trying to rile you up, saying ridiculously cheesy one liners as he dodges all your attacks.

"thats the best you got? oh [name], we'll never get to be together if i keep beating you!"

one thing he does enjoy doing with you however, are snack runs.

gojo is a big back in disguise with too much money to spend so you already knows most of that goes towards food.

he has a huge sweet tooth so i can see you guys browsing multiple sweets shops in the city. if he sees you even look at something for too long he'll buy 10 of them.

every trip you guys both leave with full bellies and full hearts &lt;3

gojo wants to be around you, and he makes sure it's fun for you both

his confession is likely to be straightforward. ccompanied by his trademark smile and his sparkling blue eyes peeking from his shades.

"you know, i've been thinking... i'm kind of into you. what do you say we make things a bit more interesting?"

teen!kento nanami 🌸

my emo boy ❤️‍🩹

nanami, with his composed demeanor, expresses his feelings (though you were unsure if he even had any) through thoughtful actions.

he remembers every. single. detail. of anything you say to him.

your favorite attist dropped an album today? he already bought you the cd/vinyl. you never got a chance to go to the store to get your favorite snack? he went 2 days ago.

he revels in the fact that he knows so much about yousnd the surprised look on your face gets him every time.

(haibara claims he's seen nanami smile at you multiple times but he vehemently denies it.)

despite his serious appearance, he'll occasionally crack dry jokes when it's just the two of you

look at that man and tell me he doesn't have a dry sense of humor 😭😭

you help him to relax and he feels he can truly be himself around you. when you two are alone its like hes showing a different side to his personality.

like megumi, i can see quality time being a big thing for him since attending jujutsu high leaves him quite busy

hes also not a huge talker so whenever you two do spend time together its probably somewhere intimate like your dorm or the library.

no words, just vibes. which he appreciates since he's around a bunch of yipper yappers all day.

nanami's confession is understated but sincere.

"i appreciate the time we spend together. it's made me realize there's something more i feel..."

choso kamo 🌸

my babyyyy no. 2 (i need him biblically)

let's get one thing straight tho. choso is a curse. in my opinion curses have no idea of love in a healthy, positive way so let's just say bb is confused.

he obviously knows what love is. he loves his brothers but he doesnt wanna kiss them...and cuddle them...

he goes to yuuji for advice (was it a bad idea? perhaps.)

"bro you totally have a crush on [name]!"

"a crush?"

after some further investigation hes pretty much got the gist of it.

one thing he becomes quite fond of doing is giving you small gifts from his missions.

these aren't typic gifts persay, like food, clothing or jewelry but more like knickknacks such as shells or rocks.

these tokens become a way for him to express what words might fail to convey.

i headcannon choso likes nature documentaries and after seeing that penguins mate for life by gifting a rock to their mate he's hooked.

idk but i also feel like he's very touchy.

he always has an eye on you in public and ik he does the thing where he guides u with his hand on the small of your back or he locks pinkies with you UGHHHH

with him being protective, he also subtly keeps an eye on you during missions.

he's not one to voice his concern directly but prefers to ensure your safety from the danger.

choso's confession might catch you off guard, but it's filled with honesty and sincerity.

"i've found myself caring about you more than I expected. it's strange..."

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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ omg i actually really like this...(watch me hate it in a week) but reqs are open!! i have 1 or 2 more pieces planned to get me in the swing of things but take this before then. love y'all!!

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲 ♡

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𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 ��𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚!

𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙡0𝙫3𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙖143 2024

[nevernonline]

✧.* he's not into you; hvc

synopsis: curious what the problem is in your dating life where you just can’t seem to get guys to commit fully to you beyond a second date, your work associate offers his help.

part of my ninety minute movies one shot series. ♡︎

paring: vernon x fem! reader.

genre: co-workers2friends2lovers (? lmao)

warning/s: mentions of substances (alcohol, weed, cig, vape etc.) swearing, very bad jokes!, sexy time (y/n has female genitalia!) pls no minors!!

word count: 6.3k

content: . non-idol idolings, some other svt members. y/n and vernon work at a bar.

note: our next stop in my fav little movie inspired writings is he's just not that into you!! a true classic in my eyes. and who better to be our male lead than bernon himself, a perfect silly goofy man. i acc tried to edit and be good?? for once.. lmao. love u xo. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Waltzing around your co-workers behind the bar like a choreographed dance, handing out drinks to some of your familiar customers, soaking cherries in alcohol, and stuffing your tips inside of your folder for the night it was a perfect distraction from the thoughts running through your mind about that awful date you had gone on the night before. 

You were convincing yourself all the guys you’ve been out with just weren’t for you, maybe to make yourself feel better, maybe just to put blame on someone else for the reasons you can’t seem to surpass a second date. 

“Y/N, could I get two vodka martinis. One dirty and one with a twist, twice shaken please.” 

“No problem, Som.” 

Somi was one of your co-workers and someone you’ve become close friends with working with her over the course of a year when the bar first opened. standing by your side on  the busiest night of the week, the other was Vernon,  he was slightly newer and unfamiliar standing next to you behind the bar, girls flirting with him left, right and center hoping to crack open his quiet yet charming exterior. 

Taking orders upon orders your body was craving a moment to yourself, being an introvert and working in a high volume environment with the type of company that spends hundreds of dollars a night just to sit at a table and feel important takes a toll on you. 

“Vernon, would you be cool if I stepped outside for a second?” 

“Yeah, no problem. I’m good.” 

“Alright, thanks I’ll be back in five.” 

“Sounds good.” 

Nothing more than his simple answers, for the most all you know about him is he’s your age, in college not sure what major he could possibly be studying, and he lives decently close to the bar, coming in on his days off with groups of his friends to have a drink of his own made at your own hands. 

Stepping outside the employee entrance into the back of the building, feeling the cool air light up your body, you decided to light up something of your own, a small perfectly rolled cigarette wrapped up in its signature strawberry flavored paper and vanilla tobacco inside. 

Three minutes into your first break of the night, the door slid open revealing the quiet boy standing in its frame. 

“Shit. I’m sorry, I actually need your help. A big group of finance dudes came in.” 

“It’s alright, I’ll save it for later.” 

Dipping the pastel candy like cigarette into the ashtray, basically kissing it and saying you’ll see it soon, you stepped back in with Vernon to your front strolling through the back room full of fresh liquor bottles. 

“This is a weird question. But what were you smoking? It smells good. Actually, normally cigarettes make me nauseous as hell.” 

“Oh. It’s a vanilla tobacco, but my rolling papers are strawberry so it’s kind of sweeter that way.” 

“No wonder. I always thought you smelt like vanilla musk, but I knew it was something different. I just assumed it was perfume. I like it.” 

“Thanks, Vern.” 

“Yeah. Want to take the table? Or wait for them to come up to us?” 

“I’ll go.” 

“Alright.” 

Cutting around the marble countertop, trying to avoid the patrons sitting at the end of the bar. You spot the group of men wearing their fancy suit jackets, and various colors of button down tops. One of them in particular was your date from a few weeks ago. The one who left you a post it note on your nightstand to wake up to basically telling you he wouldn’t call but thanks for the fuck. 

Swilling your pride, you stayed walking towards them, now with the pretty smile usually wiped across your face lost and turned into a closed lip grin. 

“Hey, what can I get for you guys?” 

“I’ll take you with a side of bourbon on the rocks please.” 

“Clever. I’m not on the menu. Anything for you.” 

Your fingers pointed towards the rest of the helm just patiently waiting for more unusual comments and weird flirting tactics. 

Your date though, kept his head buried in his menu, avoiding making eye contact with you out of his own embarrassment making you decide to fuck with him a little in front of his annoying crowd of friends. 

“And anything for you, Chris? Jack Daniels and Coke with a splash of cherry I presume? Or are you going to write your order down on a post it note?” 

His crowd erupted in laughter, clearly aware of his tactics when he leaves girls and decides to not call them back.

He muttered back it was fine as you walked off back to Vernon watching on with a smirk on his face. 

“You know him I assume?” 

“Unfortunately I do.” 

“Can I ask how?” 

You contemplated telling him a lie, just something simple like he was an old friend or an ex-boyfriend, but in order to keep him from opening up to you, you chose the real reason. 

“Actually we went out a few weeks ago. In the morning I woke up to a note taped to my pillow saying how he wasn’t interested in seeing me anymore but thanking me for being a good fuck and being so accommodating and sexy.” 

“No fucking way.” 

“I’m not kidding.” 

“Want me to spit in his drink?” 

“Yes. But I don’t want you to lose your job. It’s alright, not the first time for me unfortunately and actually maybe one of the nicer ones.” 

“Not the first time a dude you’ve fucked wrote you a note saying he’s not into you?” 

“There’s been worse believe it or not.” 

“You’ve piqued my interest.” 

“I’m sure.” 

“How do you meet dudes like that?”

“I’m a lucky girl, now do me a favor and take these drinks to them, because if I do I’ll probably say some shit I’ll regret.” 

“Alright. What’s his name?” 

“Who?” 

“Asshole over there.” 

“Chris” 

“Cool. Thanks.” 

“Vernon why?” 

“No reason, keep working.” 

“Don’t do anything stupid.” 

“My whole vibe is stupid, be back in a second.” 

Watching the boy out of the corner of your eye, you watched as he placed everyone’s drinks for them, reaching Christopher last, pretending to trip over his chair, spilling the alcoholic concoction over his pants. 

“Dude what the fuck?” 

“Oh shit, my bad. Let me get you a new one.” 

“Why the fuck are you so clumsy, how am I going to get a girl here when I look like I pissed myself?” 

“The girls that come in here don’t want some bitch who drinks cherry whiskey and Coke, they like real men. But I’ll be back in a second.” 

“What the fuck did you just say?” 

“You heard me, man. One second alright I’ll be back with your bitch drink.” 

Chris’s friends seem to be enjoying watching his night being turned into a shit storm, assuming they maybe don’t enjoy his company much either. 

“Why did you do that?” 

“He seems like a tool, he’ll be fine.” 

“Well thank you. It was funny, I had to hold my laughter in so he doesn’t think I made you do that for me.” 

“Safe bet.” 

Your night continued on until midnight when all the happy and drunk patrons exited the restaurant and you got to cleaning up the bar space, leaving you, Vernon, and Somi alone in the dimly lit room. 

“Vernon? Want to stay and have a drink as a thank you for helping me out. Somi would but she has to get back to her ball and chain.” 

“Are we allowed to do that?” 

“Well my dad owns the place, I don’t think he cares much.” 

“You’re dad? Wait what the fuck, I never put that together.” 

“Yeah. Him and his friends.” 

“Holy shit.” 

Laughing along with Somi at his amazement, you bid her goodbye before sliding into a bar top table, holding the glass of vodka in your well manicured fingers. 

Much to your surprise your more than shy coworker decided to stay with you sliding in next to you holding his own glass of beer. 

“So wait. I’m confused. Your dad and his friends opened the bar. Why do you want to work here?” 

“Easy. I always liked the idea of being a bartender and my parents would kill me for being a kid who didn’t have a job or work ethic and just using their money.” 

“Got it. Aren’t you in school?” 

“ I haven’t decided what to go for yet so I’m taking some time. Not sure yet. You?” 

“Journalism.” 

“For real? That’s cool as hell.” 

“Yeah.” 

Your phone lit up on the table blasting the ringtone really loudly in between you and Vernon, flashing the name Matthew on the screen. 

“Hey. Yeah, this is her. Oh really? Can you hold on just ONE second. Thanks.” 

Vernon waved you along letting you go on with the conversation with the guy who's been taking you on dates for the past week, curious why he’d be calling you late. 

 “Wait since I’m out of the loop, who was that?” 

“You really want to know?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, so his name is Matt. We met at the coffee shop a few weeks ago. He was cute. He paid for my drink and we just sort of hit it off.” 

“Have you guys slept together?” 

“Yeah. The first day we met.” 

“Y/N no. You’ve got to make these guys wait. Like they’re getting exactly what they want from you before you even know if they’re fucking idiots or not.” 

“Really? Does that actually work though? I mean you heard him say he likes his ex there’s nothing I can change about that?” 

“Did you ask when his last relationship was before you guys started dating?” 

“Yeah he said he’d been single for two months.” 

“Two months? And he’s already back with her? Or was he always seeing her when you guys were together? What kind of dates did you go on? Dinner? Or?” 

“Coffee sometimes, then he’d just come hangout at my place most of the time.” 

“So you never went to his?” 

“No.” 

“So he was cheating on his girlfriend with you?” 

“What? No, he said he was single.” 

Vernon ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh before looking back at you. 

“You guys met for coffee, you’d have him over to your place during the day, you’d have sex and he’d leave? You never saw his apartment? He just confessed that he’s been seeing his so-called ex over the phone the whole time you guys were quote on quote dating. He definitely lives with her and was fucking you for fun. You weren’t dating.” 

“Speaking from experience, Vernon?” 

“No. I’ve only ever dated one person seriously.” 

“So why are you giving me advice about my dating life?” 

“Because I had a successful five year relationship and you’ve had none? And you seem to need it.” 

“Wow. I would normally be pissed, but you’re right. I can’t seem to tell what I’m  doing wrong actually. Maybe I'm destined to be single.” 

“Not true. You’re pretty, nice, and you’ve got a cool ass life. You’ll be fine, you just need some editing maybe.” 

“So what? You want to be my relationship guru? Or?” 

“Yes.” 

You outstretched your hand to his and he shook it for you, confirming your now partnership where he would help you with your dating life. 

“Wait, before we go further. Try this.” 

Lifting the straw to your lips for you, Vernon offered you a sip of the drink he made.

“Wait, that's good, what is that?” 

“That assholes drink.” 

“I hate that I actually fucking like it.” 

“Me too.” 

You and Vernon spend the rest of your night together shooting the shit and getting to know each other more, once two am rolls around you both decide to head out and walk home. 

“This is me.” 

Much to your surprise Vernon swipes his key card to enter the same building as you. 

“Wait, you live here? How come I’ve never seen you in the building?” 

“I just moved in like three weeks ago. I spend most of my time in my apartment with my cat if I'm not at school or work.” 

“What floor?” 

“Seven.” 

Pressing the number seven on the elevator button before you tapped number thirteen, you and Vernon rode silently up to your separate homes. 

Before stepping off onto his floor, he pressed the hold door button.

“Come over tomorrow around six? I know you have the night off so we can hangout or whatever.” 

“Okay. What should I wear?” 

“You’ll figure it out. You always look nice. Casual is fine.” 

Rolling your eyes to his back as he strode off to his front door, you yelled a goodnight out of the door before they clocked shit and ran you up to your own place. 

Waking up the next morning you stepped out of your bed and pulled out all the ingredients to make a perfect cup of coffee, something that was like a religious ritual for you to clear your head before starting your day. 

After the brew was finished dripping though your pour over carafe you decided to take in some sun on your balcony and prepare your mind for the rest of the day until you were set to get ready to hangout with Vernon. 

The unexpected invitation to go on a quote in quote fake date with the boy had your head confused. What should you wear? What should you do with the little information given to you about what’s going on? 

After spending a few hours outside with your coffee and disconnecting from your phone, you decided to head back inside and go through your closet in search of the perfect casual outfit. 

Placing options on your bed, you hopped into the shower and spent time under the hot steam scrubbing your body from head to toe. After you were satisfied with your cleanliness, you stepped out and sat at your vanity, drying your hair and curling the front two pieces of your perfectly done up-do, painted your nails a perfect cherry red color, and put on your typical makeup look. 

Sliding your slippers back on you stood now in front of the three tops hanging in front of you feeling them for the perfect vibe. Eventually selecting a simple white button down top to match your gray pleated short skirt, slipping up a pair of simple tights and black heeled knee high boots. 

Finally the time came for you to run down seven floors and step off to find Vernon, knocking on the door to the left of the elevator a woman who you’ve seen around the building once or twice answered. 

“I’m sorry, I think maybe I have the wrong apartment. Excuse me-“ 

“You’re y/n?” 

“Yes. Hi.” 

“Hi, I’m Vernon’s friend Chae. I like your outfit, it's super cute.” 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

Stepping into the similar shaped apartment to yours, you notice the colorful paintings all over the walls, the beautiful soft blue couch, and the cozy smell of fresh linen hitting your nose, as you walked in further you saw a group of various people sitting around in his living room, some pouring themselves drinks, some standing around eating snacks and talking. 

“Would you like water or a beer or anything?” 

“Oh no, I’m alright for now thank you.” 

“No problem, I’ll just go see what he’s up to. Excuse me.” 

“Sure.” 

After waiting five minutes in the threshold of Vernon’s front entry, he peeled around the corner, dressed in an oddly similar outfit to yours, minus the heels and mini skirt. 

His crisp white shirt and matching gray coat and pants, a black leather bag, carrying a pair of nice black sneakers in his hand. 

“Hey, sorry I accidentally spilled cola on my other shirt, I had to change.” 

“That’s alright. I like your outfit though, you look cool.” 

“Thank you, I like yours too. I told you about casual dress though.” 

“This is casual?” 

“If you say so. Want a cocktail or something?” 

“Uh, sure? Wait though I thought we were going out or something, I didn’t know you had company. I can leave?” 

“No. Well, we’re going out a little later to a party,  I wanted to invite you, come on.” 

You stepped into his kitchen where he had various types of alcohol scattered on the counter, next to slices of pizza and a couple bags of chips. 

You looked around the room at the new faces, some of them you recognized from Vernon bring them to the bar with him. 

“Want the asshole special again? I actually made myself one.” 

“Weirdly I do, yeah.” 

Vernon laughed as he mixed you the same concoction he spilled the night before, handing it over to you gracefully. 

“Thanks.” 

“Yeah, no problem. This is a weird question, but did you roll any of your cigarettes or have any of those cute papers you use? I told my friend about them and he wanted to find some to roll a joint with.” 

Digging through your bag you pulled out the small case full of tobacco and papers from inside, holding out the pack to him to give to his friend, someone who you’re sure you’ll meet at one point or another. 

“Wow. Thank you.” 

“It’s cool, I have a bunch anyway. So, what does this have to do with you being my relationship guru anyway?” 

“Nothing actually. Just wanted to hangout with you more.” 

“Oh, right.” 

Something about Vernon being so kind to you and sticking up for you last night and today was making you see him in a different light almost like you were starting to have a crush on him. But he could never be into you that way, especially seeing how he interacted with his friend Chae. 

Walking around his apartment and saying hello to his friends, you chose a seat adjacent to the couch, one that was unoccupied and slightly out of the way. 

Some of his friends knew who you were without you even having to mention it. Talking and getting to know them. You excused yourself to the bathroom, but stumbled upon a room adorned with movie posters and music equipment. 

“The bathroom is right here.” 

Vernon pointed to the unlatched door down the hall, the same position as yours. 

“I know. I live here too. I was just being nosy.” 

“Oh. That's cool, you can check it out if you want.” 

Stepping into his office space, you smiled looking around at his various media and collectables, staring at the framed record on the wall signed by an artist you like yourself. 

“This is yours?” 

“Yeah. I got it as a birthday present when I was like eighteen. I love it.” 

“Sick.” 

“Sick? You’re so weird. Do people say that shit still?” 

“Fuck off. People definitely still say that.”  

“Not cool people.” 

“You literally told me I was cool yesterday?” 

“I spoke too soon.” 

As you and Vernon were standing in his room laughing, Chae appeared behind you both without your knowledge and gripped Vernon’s side, scaring the both of you with his reaction and finding her laughing her ass off. 

“You should have seen your guys’ faces. It was too easy.” 

“You’re such an asshole, I almost hit you.” 

“I’d like to see you try, big boy.” 

You just smiled, feeling a little awkward watching Vernon flirting with his friend.

“We want to head out, are you guys ready?” 

“I’m good, I think Y/N had to use the restroom though?” 

“Yeah. It’s okay, I think I might just head back to my place. I have a headache, but you guys have fun.” 

“No way, come on, take some tylenol and let's go.” 

“Chae. Let her leave if she doesn't feel good.” 

“She obviously wants to leave because she found your weird collection of fucking disney vhs tapes, not because of her headache.” 

“Not true.” 

“It’s fine. I’ll come, just let me use the restroom fast. I’ll meet you.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” 

Leaving you to do your business, Chae handed you two small white pills from her bag, and a swig of her beer to wash them down with before heading behind Vernon as they got ready to leave for the next location. 

After a few minutes  of walking you and Vernon’s friends  pulled up outside a bar you’ve never been to but heard a lot of your friends enjoyed, amply titled Love Bites.  

Vernon held onto your shoulders and walked you into the front door of the bar, pushing you towards a table where he told you to sit down and wait, as he walked away and left you with his friend to order everyone a round of drinks. 

The seat next to you that you’d hoped Vernon would fill was taken by a dark haired boy you hadn’t recognized from earlier back at the apartment. 

“Y/n? Hi, I’m Joshua. 

“Oh. Hi, nice to meet you.” 

“Vernon’s friend just so you don’t think I’m some random dude.” 

“Right. I figured.” 

“Actually I was the one who asked for the papers, thank you by the way.” 

“Yeah, no problem. Do you smoke? Like weed or?” 

“Yeah, just weed. I used to smoke cigarettes and vape for a while or whatever, but I stopped for a while. I just realized it was a boring habit.” 

“How’d you know I had strawberry papers, did Vernon tell everyone?” 

“No, no. He just said you were cool. Very friendly, but you didn’t talk about yourself enough and that you have nice smelling cigarettes that you smell like sometimes. Nothing too much really.”

“Oh. No dirty details about my weird dating life he pressed me about?”  

“Nothing about that, but he knows about my awful habits too. He always tells me I need serious help.”

“Yes. Me too, I called him a relationship guru.” 

“He thinks he is, but he’s had a crush on the same girl for a while. I'm not sure who she is, he never told me anything more about it. I’m not sure he’s the guy I’d trust to set me up that's for sure.” 

“Oh really? Is it, you know?” 

You pointed with your eyes across the table to Chae who was seated next to Vernon’s side. 

“I don’t think so. She’s definitely been in love with him forever, they were friends when they were kids and rekindled a few years ago when she moved back to town. She's really obvious about it, but he never said anything.” 

“Ah, I don’t know he seems to flirt with her alot.” 

“He’s just like that with everyone, overly friendly, kind of dorky.” 

“I see that.” 

You spent the entire night talking and getting to know Joshua, surprisingly finding out a lot of things that made you more and more intrigued about him. 

When the night finally came to a close, you left with his number and a plan to go out with just the two of you a few days later. Maybe Vernon being your friend was going to pay off more than you knew and his relationship guru advice brought you right into the hands of his very good friend. 

In the next few weeks you continued working and getting to know the pervious shy boy you thought Vernon was and going on actual good dates with his friend Joshua, who much to your surprise wasn’t the type to fuck you and forget you on a first date. 

Months passed by as your casual dating with Joshua went on and on, thinking that while it was good something with him was missing. But, you kept giving him a chance anyway. Unaware what that something was. 

On a night where you were getting ready to go out for a date you found Vernon outside of your apartment door, knocking on it wildly waiting for you to come and answer. 

“Is everything alright?” 

“Y/n.” 

“Want to come in?” 

“No. Yes? Is that alright?” 

“Are you okay? You’re acting weird as hell.” 

Vernon just nodded his head and sat down on your couch. 

“Are you getting ready to head out? You look really nice. I feel like I’m interrupting something.” 

“No. I just got home from a date actually. Why?” 

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” 

“It would help if you stopped saying sorry and told me what was wrong.” 

“Chae.” 

“Oh?” 

“She was over at my apartment. We were just playing video games and having some beer or whatever, but she tried to kiss me. And I let her at first, but I didn’t want to kiss her. I never have. I know she’s pretty and whatever, but like..” 

“Wait. So why did you come up here?” 

“Because I didn’t know what else to do? She’s still downstairs, she said she won't leave until we talk about what happened and she’s crying. I tried to tell her I wasn’t interested in her romantically and I liked being her friend, but she won’t take no for an answer. I just didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry I interrupted your nice night like this.” 

You walked over into the kitchen and poured Vernon a glass of water to hopefully settle him from rambling so much. 

“Can I ask you why you aren’t interested in her? I always assumed you guys had something going on.” 

“No. Never. She’s not my taste, I mean she’s really cool. But we’re really similar and I don’t want to date someone who reminds me too much of myself otherwise I’d get bored, but never break it off maybe because I’m too nice or maybe because I feel too comfortable. Does that make any sense?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Plus, I told her I liked someone else anyway and she got even more upset. She started accusing me of being a liar and leading her on.” 

“I’ll be honest and when I first met her I thought you liked her too, but the more I got to know you I realized you pretty much act that way around everyone you’re comfortable with.” 

“Right.” 

“Want me to help you get her out of your apartment?” 

“You would?” 

“Yeah. I still owe you for spilling that drink a long time ago.” 

“My god, no you don’t” 

“Shh, in my heart I do. Are you staying here or coming?” 

“I’ll come.” 

Heading down the elevator still in your nice date outfit, you grabbed his keys and unlocked his front door to find Chae still sitting on his couch, waiting for him to come home. 

Looking her up and down you found her dressed in shorts two sizes too small with Vernon’s T-Shirt draped over her body. Clinging to his pillow and looking you up and down. 

“What the fuck is she doing here, Vernon? She’s not a part of this at all.” 

“Actually, I’m here to ask you to politely get the fuck out of his apartment and stop making him feel bad for not liking you.” 

“You’re such a bitch, he does like me. The person he doesn’t like is you, so maybe you should get the fuck out of here. He just feels sorry for you.” 

“Chae, that’s not true and don’t talk to her like that.” 

“You’re actually defending her? She hasn’t been nice to me once since she met me. She just acts like an entitled brat around me all the time, making me feel stupid. She’s not a part of this conversation at all, don’t you understand how insane this is?” 

“She is a part of it actually, because she’s the girl I have a crush on and if I wasn’t so focused on making everyone else around me happy at the price of myself I would’ve been able to tell her that already instead of doing it like this.” 

“Verno-” 

“Her? You fucking like her? Seriously? She told me she never would date someone like you and that you’re dorky and a loser.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? That’s never happened. You’re the one who parades around making me feel like an idiot and that I'm not good enough to be friends with Vernon. You know who’s being an entitled brat? You. You’re kicking this poor guy out of HIS apartment for not liking you back like a child, you’re sitting on his couch in HIS clothes, waiting for him to come back to you to try to pressure him into being with you when he told you he likes someone else. If you’re such a good ass friend to him like you constantly claim to be, then maybe be that good friend and get the hell up, give him his shirt back and get the fuck out or you can talk to him like the adult that you are and try to understand how he feels and continue being his friend. If you don’t like either option I don’t know what else to tell you. So, what will it be?” 

“If I talk to him, you need to get the fuck out of here, I don’t want you around.” 

“Fine with me, but stop being such an insufferable bitch and maybe have some compassion. Goodnight.” 

Not wanting to wait around for the elevator, you slammed Vernon’s door shut leaving them to have their conversation and walked up the seven flights of stairs back into your cozy home untainted by her bad energy. 

Hours later after you were showered and ready to destress from the absolute chaos your night has been, you poured yourself a glass of wine and sat on your to smoke a nicely rolled joint as a treat to yourself, leaving your phone inside your room and out of your eyesight. 

Suddenly mid-inhale another knock came to your door, half of you wanted to pretend you were asleep, but another part of you assumed whoever it was must have an issue with you smoking inside your home. 

Looking through the peephole of your front door, you saw for the second time in the night Vernon standing outside, now in his plaid pj pants and a hoodie pacing around waiting for you to answer. 

Taking in a deep breath you opened the door and took one look at his messy hair, realizing he must have been trying to sleep, but couldn’t. 

“Yes?” 

“Can I come in?” 

“Be my guest. Sorry I’m smoking weed inside, it smells weird.” 

“Can I have a hit actually?”

“Sure.” 

“Thanks.” 

Handing over the pink flower, Vernon took an incredibly long hit of the weed, exhaling it creating a cloud over the two of you. 

“Wine?” 

“Uh, not yet. Can I confess something to you?” 

“Is it about the girl you like?” 

“Sorry you had to find out like that. I was planning on telling you, but then you started seeing Josh and whatever else it just got away from me, it wasn’t the right time I know. I just let it slip.” 

“It’s okay, Vernon” 

“It’s not, especially when you’re not single. I feel like I ruined any relationship we had with saying it, even our platonic one.” 

“When you talked about ruining my nice night before? Didn’t you wonder why I was coming home from a date at 7:00pm? It was because I actually just broke it off with Joshua. He was really nice about it of course, but I just felt like we were friends and nothing more.” 

“Oh. So you’re not?” 

“Dating him? No.” 

“So I didn’t ruin it?” 

“My night? Not at all, it wasn't that great anyway.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah.” 

Vernon took the opportunity to steal your glass of wine and downed it right then and there whispering a small sorry to you for doing so. 

“Okay, so. I knew I liked you the moment we started working together. I wasn’t sure how to tell you ever, I wasn’t even sure how to talk to you because you made me feel so awkward, not because you were mean or anything, just because I knew I’d sound like a fucking dumb ass. But, that night we first walked home together and had a drink. I found out so much about you, I liked you even more so I asked you to come and hangout with us at my place, I figured I could get some courage to finally ask you out, which ultimately I failed at again and it just spiraled out of control. It’s just gotten more and more bad for me, like bad in the sense I just can’t stop falling for you and you didn’t know. Until I essentially fucked it up further telling you I like you infront of Chae, which was a mistake too. I keep fucking it up.” 

“You're doing pretty good if you ask me, but you should’ve just told me a long time ago then none of this crazy shit would have happened.” 

“That's charming, no?” 

“Only because it's you.” 

“Look, I don’t need an answer from you now or ever, just know I wont be fucking weird about it anymore. I’ll let you go to bed. I’ll see you in a few days at work and everything will be good.” 

Vernon got up and tried to walk towards your front door for an exit, but you caught up to him in time, grabbing him by his shoulders and spinning him around just in time to plant a perfectly placed kiss on his pink lips. 

“I like that you’re fucking weird and for your information I admire your dumb vhs tape collection.” 

Vernon took his opportunity to kiss you again, even longer this time than the first one, pushing his tongue into your mouth, making you moan as his hands snaked their way around your body. 

“You taste like vanilla too.” 

“Nice?” 

“Perfect.” 

“Would us having sex count as us fucking on the first date?” 

“This would be considered fucking before the first date.” 

“Ah, I see. Is that a no-no?” 

“I’ll let it slide.” 

Vernon lifted you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his long torso, and carried you onto your couch, setting you down to be perfectly face to face with his enclosed penis, now beginning to grow inside of his pants. Dipping your fingers into the waistband of his pants you grazed the tips of your fingers over the head of his dick, making him shiver from the cold touch of your hands. 

Unwrapsping him like a present, his penis flew from his waistband and you quickly wrapped your lips around the soft pink skin, slightly creating a suction cup with your lips as his hands found their way to the back of your head and he fucked your face gently. 

As his speed picked up, the head of his dick was pounding its way to the back of your throat making him weak in the knees and unsure how much longer he could go on like this without relieving himself inside of your mouth. 

In order to savor this moment further, he against his better judgment pulled you off of him and got on his knees in front of you, running a finger down your neck, placing soft kisses on your lips and all the way down to your sternum, his fingers following along. 

Pushing over your panties to the side he ran those same fingers up and down your wet center, making you moan and push onto him, begging for him to put them inside of you without many words. 

When he was finally done teasing you, he placed his first two fingers at the entrance and ran his thumb over your clit making you squirm and let out a small moan, trying to grind your way further onto him. 

With the same speed as before he started pumping his fingers into your wet center, crawling his way into your body and making you overwhelmed with pleasure. 

Suddenly he was four fingers deep stretching you out as a preparation for you to be comfortable fucking his much larger dick when suddenly you squirted all over his bare chest, slinking back onto the couch in a fit of heavy breathing. 

Vernon didn’t let you off the hook though, he grabbed onto you hips, carrying you onto the floor under him. Finally fucking you through your previous orgasm, riding into the sensitive waters of your clit, softly sucking on your nipples as he slowly thrusted himself onto you, almost like it was the only way to cure the aching in your center. 

As the sweat and your bodily fluids mix their way together, the heavy breathing slowed to near silence, watching him in ecstasy fucking into you, noticing the beauty of the way his eyelashes ran across his cheeks and the small light gold flecks in his eyes. He’s never been more beautiful to you than he was tonight. 

Suddenly in your daze his lips came onto yours before he slightly lifted them off of you to whisper while they still grazed over the top. 

“Can I come inside?” 

“Please.” 

And with your verbal confirmation Vernon filled up your body with his semen and rode into his very own orgasm as well. 

Kissing you once again he got up and ran into your bathroom to grab a clean towel for you both to clean up with and laid back down next to you on the floor. 

Suddenly the two of you erupted into laughter, just thinking about how stupid you both were to see chemistry between you was about as hot as the sex you both indulged in. 

“I can’t believe you were going to leave.” 

“I can’t believe I thought you weren’t into me.” 

“Who said I wasn’t lying?” 

“The way you were moaning and fucking into me told me all I needed to know.” 

“Ok, hot shot.” 

“So about that first date?” 

“It’s on.” 

[2dyumi]

hi baby cakes PLEAAAASEE GIVE ME SANZU FOOD ANYTHING ANYTHINGGG!! ANYTHINGGGG

hello lovely! you want sanzu food, i shall feed you some of my fav hcs! (i went a little crazy with this,, i love him a little too much...)

١٥٧٤♡ sfw:

haru is def shy at first. whether its about being friends or having a crush, he's not the best at starting a conversation :c

once the two of you get closer, he tries to act tough and cool when you hang around his friends, but when the two of you are alone he's not 100% affectionate but he does demand your attention.

hold his hand!! sometimes he needs a little reassurance, or if he gets overwhelmed, as long as you're nearby he'll calm down <3

if/when the two of you start dating, he tries too hard to give you gifts. sometimes you'll wake up to a package being delivered and it'll either be a cute plush he found, or his favorite cheesecake (he'll be coming over to eat it with you later, so make sure to save some!)

he loves to be the big spoon! resting his chin on the top of your head, holding you so close that you think you're going to suffocate, using his thumbs to rub soft circles on your back or stomach depending on how you're laying.

sometimes, though, he wants to be the little spoon. as much as he'll deny it, he loves to be taken care of sometimes.

now, for nsfw mdni below the cut

he loves your tits a sickening amount, always staring at them. you've caught him a few times but he plays it off by saying he just zoned out, and you're nice enough to believe him.

but what about...

ʚɞ best friend!haru who plans movie hangouts/sleepovers just to see you in your pajamas, staring at your thighs in shorts just a little too tight.

ʚɞ best friend!haru who hogs the blanket to cover his erection when your nipples perk through the thin fabric of your tank-top. it's not his fault he has to keep the ac low, he hates sweating ;p

ʚɞ best friend!haru loves taking pictures of you to post on your social medias, but sometimes he'll take a few when you're not paying attention. if you catch him, he swears he'll delete them!! just after he's done drooling and jerking off to them...

ʚɞ best friend!haru buying you a new swimsuit that matches his, purposefully getting a size too small because he loves the way your tits spill out of the top. bonus if you had a small nip slip and he didn't say anything until you were getting out of the water.

ʚɞ best friend!haru confessing one night after a few too many drinks, taking you back to his place to rip off your dress and finally press his face between your breasts, kissing and sucking small hickeys onto them.

₊˚ෆ bf!haru eating you out before he fucks you into tomorrow, drawing hearts on your clit and sucking it to hear your pretty moans and squeals.

₊˚ෆ bf!haru hugging you from behind after a long day at work, pressing himself against your ass while he plants soft kisses on your shoulders and neck.

₊˚ෆ bf!haru begging to fuck your tits, squishing them against his aching cock. he cums a little too fast...

₊˚ෆ bf!haru whose aftercare consists of wiping you down, bringing you some water and leftover cheesecake, feeding it to you while you sit on his lap in a pair of his boxers and t-shirt ♡

© property of crybabysano '24. do not repost, modify, translate, or copy.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Arvin and kieran meeting a shy but sweet new girl with this team.

Tapu koko who through some magical shenanigans can't be more then a mile away from the girl with out falling incredibly ill.

A motherly salazle who has a charm that allows her to talk English

A blood moon ursaluna who's the girls main body guard and hes very protective

And a female iron valiant who acts like a big sister. Who threatens anyone that if they hurt the girl she'll cut them down

Gotta say I appreciate the addition of Blood Moon Ursa. Officially my fav gen 9 ground type <3

............

Arven

The moment he met you, he realized you were too nice for your own good sometimes...being the shy and sweet transfer student who winds up being his partner in many classes.

He might tease you from time to time, although he lightens up only after he realizes Mabosstiff likes you--which mean he has to like you as well and not accidentally be too rude.

During battle studies, you two have a match and he's shook when you suddenly bring out Tapu Koko.

Somehow you have a powerful Alolan Guardian deity wrapped around your finger...yet you never once bragged about it.

But Arven fully believes you have a Ditto or Zorua who just chooses to impersonate a Tapu, wondering when it's gonna drop the act.

Soon he finds out that nope, it's the real deal, and you have some strange connection that doesn't allow it to wander too far from you.

Otherwise, it falls violently ill and its magic abilities are weakened.

You're certain it was hexed by someone who wanted to punish it for its mischief, so you've been travelling around hoping to find a "cure".

And ofc that meant Koko had to abandon its duties at Melemele Island and become your Pokémon. It was reluctant at first, but quickly became a loyal friend to you.

Eventually Arven meets the rest of your team, including a female Iron Valiant that escaped from the crater and made herself your ally after saving you from trouble.

She's your literal knight in shining armor, acting like a big sister figure instead of an emotionless robot programmed to attack.

Oftentimes she comes out of the pokeball herself if she senses you're in any kind of danger.

Blood Moon Ursaluna is another bodyguard of yours....who is MASSIVE and utterly terrifying.

All you did was go to Kitakami on a school trip and you suddenly come back with an ancient Ursaring variant/evolution??

How tf are you picking up so many dangerous Pokémon?

Just when he thinks Salazzle is the only "normal" one on your team...

He finds out that she can actually talk, addressing him by name and asking what he was cooking one day.

For a split second he thinks her pheromones/toxins were making him hallucinate...until he sees you having a full blown conversation with her.

It turns out that she developed the ability to speak human language, using it to scare off a group of male Salandits who were threatening you.

At first, she only ever said random words she picked up from humans, but you taught her how to speak coherently and gave her some books...and now she's 100% fluent in English.

All in all, Arven finds your team very...diverse.

You don't really do many Pokémon battles, as they all act like your bodyguards/friends instead. But then again he's never been too battle-crazy either (unlike a certain girl he knows who'd give ANYTHING to battle Tapu Koko).

Kieran

Your personality kinda reminds him of his old self: shy and sweet, oftentimes hiding behind protective figures, etc.

Part of him kinda hated it, but he was good at hiding it.

Was instantly impressed by your Pokémon team, especially the robotic-looking Gardevoir/Gallade hybrid.

Although being a country boi he's bewildered about her LED eyes and her robotic trills, and is definitely not too thrilled about all Pokémon looking like her in some distant/potential future.

Tapu Koko leaves him bewildered, especially when you explained your connection to it while it roamed around the coastal biome, reminiscing about its home in Alola.

He's heard rumors of the Blood Moon Ursaluna back in Kitakami, not caring for it as much as Ogerpon, but he NEVER expected to see that someone like you could have tamed it.

During a battle, Incineroar's flames almost burned you, and your Ursaluna was enraged and knocked him out with one Headlong Rush. Completely unprompted.

Since then Kieran made a point to instruct the feline to be more precise with his fire attacks..lest he became weak.

You impressed the League Club with your talking Salazzle...but at first he believes you're just being irritating and distracting..

Until she talks to him directly, and he's like "...oh wowzers..so you can understand me????"

That's the most shocked anyone in the club has ever seen their leader...

Being motherly as she is, your Salazzle often asks how he's feeling and how Hydrapple is....and he usually shuts down and tells her to mind her business.

But after Area Zero's events, when she asked him again he broke down crying and the poison/fire lizard lowkey panicked.

She had to get you to calm him down.

Since then you two have become close friends, and while in the beginning he was envious of your unique team (that also reminded him of somebody else), he realizes you thought his Hydrapple and battle setups were unique, too.

It honestly made his day.

[strab3rr]

hi love,

How did you induce pure consciousness xx

i know u guys love big stories -i love those things too- but im sorry i don’t have any

but i can try to make it seem bigger 4 u.

it was a sunny day

it was a normal day

at least i thought it was…

i make a brunch w my mom and then we go buy some groceries

did i mention it was a sunny day..

there was so much sweat blood and tears(i was on my period)

then we got home

i dayreamed while i study russian and math(tears again)

than i watched my fav show(supernatural)

and finally dinner time w my family 🎉🎉🎉🎉

i got dishes and go straight to my room

usually we have some tea after dinner

but i had cramps so i just go to bed w a pill

when i realized the pill worked i tried to sleep and get some rest

but i couldn’t so i thought i can do pinteresting🎀

i add some pins to my silly little boards(therapy)

then i saw a pin/tumblr post(wait im gonna try to find that)

after reading this pin, i remembered the posts i was readin on tumblr (b4dprincess’s posts)

then i opened tumblr and continued to read those

when i was done w reading i was like 👍 ok this is it

its my reality how hard can it be?

i put my phone down and take one deep breath

(oh noooo theres only 10gif/image allowed on mobile, i was havin fun aaaaa)

life saving emojiiiss

😮‍💨

and thats it

i did nothing but taking that one deep breath (physically)

i focused on everything but my body

i think about the dates i will have w him

i think about my house, neighborhood

i daydreamed my pets

the clothes

friends and the more i think about these things i was feeling closer

some point i felt like im levitating and drowning at the same time, this is the part i got scared but be cool abt it

affirmations ive said while being cool:

i am detached from any realities

i am here and there, everywhere and nowhere

i am everything and nothing

i am, i am, i am

i am nothing but my soul

i am beyond of any physical world

i am i am

i induced my pure consciousness within seconds

i am

i am

i am

i said ‘i am’ till i felt nothing

for a second i thought i didn’t make it but again be cool abt it (bc: dont let them know ur next move)

i felt ready and opened my eyes and finally i was there and just as i imagined i felt everything and nothing at the same time

it felt forever and not even a second at the same time

guys

it-was-awesome 👏🏻

(for the clarification: i didn’t mock w anything with all those gifs)

its just im trying to tell you, i mean u want a recipe but there isnt any

there’s nothing literally nothing to do for enterin your void

well theres one thing: relax.

just relax, you got this, stop overcomplicating it. its inside of you not in the space, not in the underground not in the air not in the fuckn atmosphere its within you, so you dont have to worry about anything because its there. its always there and it will always be there

stop searching for some magic key. because you are the key. you are the void you’re searching for.

i know, having a lot with your life and everything is hard and you have goals to achieve, moments to live

well good news

you can change this and you should because you deserve better

only you can change this

(i talk a lot and most of them are nonsense but i am right abt one thing, and that is, you deserve better. so act like it)

loves, siena.

[bibibbon]

I see that you're anti Bakugou blog, can I ask something because I'm really curious? Don't worry it's not hate ask (even if I'm Bakudeku shipper).

What I want to ask is the same in this post :

"I get preferring other ships, but if you hate them (BKDK), cannot stand them... you don't love the story. How could you? The narrative is built around their relationship. How they feel about each other at any given time is how you can tell the story is progressing. In both cases, they want to compete and surpass each other, which motivates them to train harder, to be better.

This is also why I don't get people who say they love one character but hate the other. Like, you cannot love Midoriya while hating Bakugou and vice versa.

They don't need to be your favorite characters, but you have to recognize their importance to your fav and their character arc. That is simply logical, in my opinion."

Thoughts, please?

First of all thank you for the question and not sending any hate comments that's very appreciated by me!

This is an interesting perspective and interpretation of the series, even if I don't see eye to eye with you or agree with this interpretation thank you for sharing it.

To begin this of I want to say that I don't particularly agree with the statement that you provided above. While the story in itself does revolve around izuku and bakugo to an extent its not exactly that big and I would argue that it shouldn't be that big of an involvement overall.

Izuku and bakugo's rivalry or the extended version which is the Canon one harms both the characters and the plot. This is because of how their rivalry naturally is which is toxic. @sapphic-agent goes into depth about how the wonder duo fails and of the toxicity of their supposed rivalry.

From the beginning izuku and bakugo's relationship was unhealthy whether that be from izukus non stop admiration even when bakugo abused him or bakugo who thought that izuku was a nuisance in his path. I think the best route for bakugos character was for him to ditch the rivalry route towards anyone. Bakugo as a character needed to accept that there are various people who will be weaker or stronger or different than him. He also needed to accept that society proping him up as this next big hero and ultimately feeding his ego was also wrong.

In the end I still have a lot of issues with bakugo's character individually that I did talk about previously and I think that overall he should of had an arc of breaking down his harmful thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. His arc needed more focus on his character and how he treats other people not just izuku.

I also want to argue that bakugo's arc isn't that well written at all. He doesn't really change and the change we do see from his underwhelming due to a number of reasons whether that be his horrible apology or his behaviour not really changing and being played off as a gag or the way we see bakugo still uphold his old behaviour heck it's all around his arc him being the only character to follow the idea of not saving someone or him just being hyperfixated on a rivalry that doesn't have equal footing.

I think the bakugo vs izuku fight part 2 showed a lot of bakugo and izukus problems within their relationship really well. I also think that was the arc where bakugo should of been separated from izuku having people acknowledge the toxicity of their relationship as bakugo thinks izuiu owes him an explanation when he doesn't or how izuku is supposed to overcome his admiration for bakugo and realise that what bakugo did to him was wrong. @delawaredetroit made a lot of analysis based on that fight which I think is worth checking out because they point out good bakugo critiques that horikoshi doesn't address and simply let's slide for bakugo while painting his and izukus relationship as perfectly fine and a healthy rivalry that moves the story.

In the end for bakugo he becomes a character attached to izuku ultimately having no real relevance outside of izuku and that sucks for him as he isn't even able to grow an we aren't able to see that change with the way he Interacts with the world.

Now moving onto izuku's character. Izuku due to horikoshis writing decisions also suffered a lot due this supposes rivalry. Izuku doesn't ever acknowledge the abuse that bakugo committed ultimately since he doesn't ever get to either introspect or freely express emotions about this issue his whole character starts to lack introspection and hinders him from forming valuable character relationships that can help push the narrative forward as he comes to understand heroes, civillians and villains alike. Izuku also never gets a say in the relationship he ultimately becomes more passive and a shell of his former self as the series goes on to the point that we don't see him react to losing his quirk (no the moment is focused on bakugo crying instead) and we don't see izukus response to the apology that bakugo offered.

It seems that throughout their relationship izuku who once had potential and so much going for him went through one of the worst cases of character regressions and assassinations that I have ever seen . At least before the rivalry started we saw izuku express fear, awe,anger and so many more emotions towards bakugo but now he is an empty shell a clean slate that cannot feel any negative emotions towards him at all.

Going back to my original point the narrative isn't fully built around their relationship and while they do have major themes such as win to save and save to win, their relationship in itself doesn't bring much to the narrative it actually just harms their characters and makes them lack depth even more.

Izuku already has a character who is supposed to be his rival, whose supposed to challenge his views, whose supposed to understand him and be understood by him and that character is shigaraki yet horikoshi doesn't build up on their relationship and only throws parallels around when it comes to those two making the final war arc a dissatisfactionary and disappointing rollercoster filled with mountains of wasted potential.

From the beginning the story to me had a clear path that bakugo wasn't supposed to be a primary character in the series he was supposed to be something that izuku overcame, he was supposed to be a challenge that showed the damage that society caused but that wasn't the case and the direction that hori took the story ended up harming every aspect of the story whether that be the unexplored plot point of quirkless discirmation (which many speculate is unexplored to make bakugo not look bad) or the final fight between shigaraki and izuku that lacked any build up whatsoever (toga and ochako had a better one because they had time to develop)

So to sum it up while the two characters relationship is present within the series its not a well written one at all and it isn't a primary relationship that develops both izuku and bakugo but more of a relationship that develops bakugos character and hinders izukus character.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

as a big enjoyer of suicidal evil characters i LOVE when fans actually put care into depicting jimmy... he's an awful human being but in a v specific and impactful way,... like pre-crash curly unambiguously liked jimmy and was closer to and prioritized him above the rest of the crew (that fucking psych eval... lmao...) which is RLY IMPORTANT to getting exactly how bleak anya's situation was...! anyways ummm i like how you draw anya and curly's noses. also that drink comic of yours is one of my all time fav  shitpost jimmys. that semi-not-joking mass death ideation + halfhearted backtrack is so choice

i think its valid to not want to depict jimmy, especially bc he is a terrible person whos done incredibly upsetting things that lots of people have experienced. but i think its important to not just label jimmy as a monster in general and then set him aside, but to acknowledge that hes a person that continuously choose to do bad things in efforts to self serve and shift blame, and that there is a method to his madness. theres a lot of really fucking interesting characterization going on with jimmy, and while he uses that all to be a shitty abuser, hes still a compelling villain protagonist. its a shame that this fandom is so hostile to any sort of delving into him, to even mention him, unless its surrounded by 300 warnings and disclaimers. understandable, but a shame.

the way jimmy wormed his way into positions of power over others due to the neglect of pony express and curly's desire to "fix" him, how jimmy had his talons deeply sunk into curly who just rolled over for him when it came to his assault on anya. how jimmy was able to use swanseas solitary personality and daisukes naivety to exert his dominance and desire for control over anya and the tulpar which he was never capable of handling in the first place due to his lack of responsibility and selfishness, which ultimately brought everyone down...oh that is wonderful tragedy. the trainwreck, the facade, the hubris, the unreliability. a big house of cards posed perfectly to be knocked over in an instant. sadly everyone knows an incompetent idiot who thinks hes the shit and makes it your problem, everyone knows the guy you have to warn new people about. not as fun when its in reality. but i think exploring these ideas in fiction can help prepare, notice, and prevent jimmys from ruining you and others lives.

and thank youuuu any time i can draw a big nose, or a big bumpy nose, im there. im ready im hype. <3

also hehe i like the drink comic a lot as well. im glad people like the little bits of character i was able to shoehorn into single frames. theres too many comments about "why didnt jimmy put drugs/poison in there" which completely forget that 1) this is all on video evidence, which the crew will be watching back/posting 2) he also has to drink it 3) literally what would he gain for killing the crew before they even leave earth. lmao. jimmy adding monster to what he assumes to be alcohol is reflective of his impulsive spite towards swansea talking shit to everyone (him), but played off as a joke to save face. loooook its just a little jab back at swansea, no biggie. just tit for tat. his willingness to make everyone suffer (including himself) bc one person made him feel tiny. gnashing my fucking teeth

[slvtforoldermen]

Pedro’s Characters: The Dick-tionary: Part Two

(PS. I’m currently on my ovulation week so this is gonna be mental)

Part One ;)

Frankie (Catfish) Morales:

Okay so I just finished watching Triple Frontier and oml I love this man. One thing I wanna say is, he definitely fucks you in whatever flying vehicle he owns, not during flights of course <3 safety first and I have such a bad fear of flying. Anyways, Frankie’s about 7 inches, and he has a pretty pink mushroom tip, he’s pretty thick too tbh, and he’s a vein up the side that you can feel when he’s inside you. PRAISE!!! He’s a praiser and not a degrader. Breeding kink is a must!!! Maybe it’s because he’s a family man but I feel like he has a domestic kink, like, he lovesssss talking about you being his ‘pretty little wife/husband’. Fuck, he lovessss filling you up and talking bout how he wants to get you pregnant, even if you can’t get pregnant :0, he was quite delicate with this factor at first in case it made you uncomfortable but he 100% wouldn’t say anything about that if it made you uncomfy. He just needs you to be happy. “My sweet girl/boy, spread your legs for me will ya?” “Yeah you like that, yeah you do… good girl/boy.” “Pretty little baby, taking me so so well, aw, so cute” “Take my cock in your mouth, oh yeah, just like that, my sweet, sweet baby.” He shaves well enough I think, likes to leave a happy trail to tease you with.

Agent Whiskey

Save a horse, ride a cowboy. Literally. Ride him and he’ll love you forever. Pedro’s cowboy characters hold a warm place in my heart because I find Southern accents sooooo sexy, ugh yes, talk about your farm daddy.

Um…. Anyways! Jack is so cunty I love him. Okay, he’s a big boy, about 8 inches, up there with Javier and Joel. He’s thick, like oof… Nice big tip too. Depending on the day, he switches between soft and hard dom. His fav position is cowgirl obviously, despite popular speculation, he’s not really a big fan of reverse cowgirl, but he LOVES doggystyle, he’s an ass man so spanking is a yes. He’s not a daddy man. OH MY GOD WHEN YOU RIDE HIM PLEASE WEAR HIS HAT PLEASE HE’LL CUM SO SO HARD!! SIT 👏 ON 👏 HIS 👏 FACE 👏 If he’s feeling soft and wants to be all chivalrous and his Southern self, he’ll fuck you in missionary, peppering kisses all over your face and neck. “My sweet girl/boy… takin’ my cock so well.” “Oh darlin’, ya look so pretty f’me.” “Fuck, so good, baby, such a good lil hole.” Big snail trail enthusiast!!!

Marcus Pike

I have not watched the mentalist so I apologise for any inaccuracies :( but good lord how gorgeous is this man…

Sorry guys I just can’t get over how pretty he is, but I’m actually crying because he’s so beautiful. Anyway, he’s about 7.5 inches and loooovvvvessss to be sucked off. You just look so so pretty with his cock in your mouth, and suck on his tip, his hips buckle a little and he whimpers, his hands going straight into your hair. He’s such a sweet lover, when he’s inside you, he’s so soft and gentle, you’d have to physically beg him to be rough. A BIG KISSER!!! Loves kissing you, just make sure you’ve kissed him at least 20 times and he’ll be content. He’s such a sweetie, please just be nice to him. “I love you so so much.” “Please oh baby, I love you, love this hole, so fucking good for me, good girl/boy.” “I’m gonna cum, oh please, where do you want me to cum, please tell me where to cum baby…” He likes to keep its shaved but he’s not completely bald.

Lucien Flores

Now, I have been looking for the clip of him making out and I can’t find it anywhere 😭😭 if someone could find it for me pleaseeeee send it I will love and cherish you for eternity. I also couldn’t find a gif of him so bear with me 😭.

Oh guys… MIRRORS!!! From looks and expectations and fanfics I’ve read, mirrors are a big thing for him. He’s about 8 inches. Loves doggy, he’s also an ass man. Choking you is a MUST, oh god he loves making you take him in a mirror, in doggy, with his big hand wrapped around your pretty neck, seeing you in the mirror taking him sooo well. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Same thing with the bathroom. He has you with one leg on the counter, the other dangling as he pounds into you, just absolutely destroying you. Shower sex too! He has you, either against the wall or legs wrapped around his waist. In fact just let him fuck you on every single surface of the house. Bed, bathroom, floor, sofa, dining table, kitchen counter, anything!! Loves eating you out from behind. He shaves and isn’t bald, yknow standard procedure 🤷🏻‍♀️

Special Guest!! My fav TV cameo 🫶

Reggie Luckman:

My MAN!! 🥺 he whimpers, have you seen him to that pretty when you cry edit, UGH STRIKES MY HEART EVERY TIME! I watch that edit about 3 times a day. I am very well aware that he’s just found out he’s killed his friend in this gif but he’s just so beautiful…

He’s 7 inches, and has such a cute face when he’s inside you, eyes squeezed shut and biting his lip as he conceals his whimpers. You keep telling him that he’s fine to moan but he just gets so embarrassed. Such a praiser, calls you a good girl/boy soooo much. His hips stutter when he’s close, and he bites down on your shoulder, accidentally leaves hickeys on your neck and collarbones. He loves going fast. When you ride him, he looks up at with those sweet eyes, and it makes your heart melt, hands on your hips, guiding you sweetly. Tug on his hair in orallllll!!! “Please, please, you feel so good, I love you.” “Mmm, please, I’m gonna cum, can I cum in you?” “I can? Thank you, thank you, fuck!” Praise him back, tell him how he’s doing, tell him that he’s good. Pleaseeeee I need him soooo baddddd!!!!!!

[fure-dcmk]

FINALLY WATCHED THE MOVIE first impression rambling >>>

[MILLION DOLLAR PENTAGRAM SPOILER WARNING]

HEIJI WAS SOOOOO COOL. HANDSOME. TERRIFIC. the first 20 minute is just me losing my mind from all the heiji details

>> heiji and kid bantering about fairy lips in the intro. kid going your fault for not noticing hmmp! <- huh? are you a tsundere heroine

>> HEIJI ORIGINAL DUFFLE BAG!!! CAMEO-ING IN 2024!!!

>> 4 new outfit from heiji that fits him so well... handsome guy

>> a fairy lip redraw. i died

how the hell did heiji brought his bike with him all the way in HOKKAIDO. you can almost way osaka to tokyo is only half of the travel to hokkaido how many day trip would it take to reach that far. also a jp tweet i read once brought to question how a high schooler was able to use the high way. did he brought kazuha with her in this extreme trip? with the excuse that he's going for a kendo tournament... when his bigger agenda is to confess. everything about the bike being there doesn't make sense but i give it a pass for being cool 😁👍

and the heikazu scene.,.. i came there fully expecting to not care at all but they actually made me invested. ran was SOOOO CUTE her excitement directly influenced me to also want to see heiji succeed. heiji asking if the legendary 100 million night view is better than big ben and ran agreeing just to placate him for the sake of her otp 😭

THE STUN GRENADE! the fact that kazuha immediate reaction is to protect heiji ears.... her self sacrificial nature a call back to mermaid island in the most subtle way 🥹🥹🥹 heiji shocked eyes was so cute. and heiji confession speech isnt cringe and is actually cute! shocker! (sorry trauma from heart anniversary lines its so awful im dnfuebdjfjf) devastated such an ideal confession scene was wasted. but its from kazuha trying to save heiji SO FORGIVEN

need to make sure ppl know im a momiji enjoyer. all her faults are forgiven purely cuz she is funny. let a rich girl be delulu !

also loove how they keep cannonizing her keen hearing from m21 THIS IS THE APPEAL OF KAZUHA THEY GET IT

touichi gifting a lost national treasure to his little brother yuusaku for winning the macademy award, as well as keeping in touch with him and gifting various trinkets.... meanwhile keeping his own son completely in the dark that he's alive this entire time...

conclusion 1: worst parent award goes to kuroba touichi 🥳🥳🥳

conclusion 2: ah he's definitely a brocon huh

kills me that everyone is dejected that the katana with the star shaped guard is a lost treasure. meanwhile its quitely sitting in kudo yuusaku's store room cuz his big brother gifted it to him LIKE SDJDJFF!? turning your justice leaning lil bro into an accomplices. the gag potential here is so made for me

shoutout to sonoko who took up haibara's usual information provider role. every scene with her was animated so cutely IM SHOCKED m27 doing excellent job at showing off her cuteness. there is a fun parallel to think about, sonoko was the first person heiji went to to get information on kudo's whereabout, and now heiji is also going to her for information ♥️ heiji-sonoko friendship crumb thank you for the food

this movie really play a lot with the crumbs from kendo school tournament arc. heiji-ran friendship makes me want to cry, ran efficiently karate chopping hijiri to make sure theres no distractions for heikazu 🥺😭 ive been convinced on okita's cuteness the past 3 month cuz if the okita fanart boom in my corner of jp twitter but watching it for myself... he really have it bad for heiji LMAO wdym "it's boring if hattori ain't here~" how much did you say this for kaitou kid to catch that its a good trait for an okita disguise. im glad this movie give a good balance of real okita and fake okita, m10 still makes me so sad for having ZERO real hakuba 🥲 kid's dosu e~ is so moeblob

ah i still got so many word vomit on this movie it seems to be never ending 😭😭

my final review of the movie is this is my no 1 fav conan movie of all time, 2nd place is bride of halloween. i still havent rank anything below that properly. im truly entertained by this movie it got so many characters i care about with a lot of bombastic scenes. as much as i want to say my ultimate fav is m7 and m21, both of them are kinda... slow with all the deduction talk. im here for eye candy after all 😔 mixing kid's energy is doing wonders for the tone of a heiji movie. heiji's presence is also doing wonders for KID as well cuz gosh!!! KID has never emit this much childlike moe blob energy. heiji and conan being the straight man to kid's prank is the dynamic really help to emphasize his whimsical energy

and the final theme i caught; parallelism where hijiri is willing to do anything to protect his father's legacy only for us to find that its all for naught.... now why does this sound familiar 🤔🤔🤔

rewatching the movie tomorrow so ill probably do another ramble on it

[mythals-whore]

ASSIGNING THE MEMBERS OF THE VEILGUARD A TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM BECAUSE I CAN!!!

Harding - Debut

Obviously she’s our Ferelden farm girl so this just makes sense, but let me elaborate anyway. Harding is VERY Tied Together with a Smile/ The Outside to me?? Not to mention i feel like she would love the angrier songs Picture to Burn/ should’ve said no. We know how she gets when she’s angry. And you can’t convince me she wouldn’t LOVE Our Song.

Neve - Midnights

Do i even need to explain this one?? Neve gives such Midnights vibes, vigilante shit/mastermind/midnight rain???? Also SO yoyok coded. i feel like her romance is very Labyrinth/Snow on the Beach. And the woman who pets all of docktown’s stray cats is very “karma is a cat” of her idc.

Bellara - Red (TV)

This one was hard! It was between Red and 1989 to me. I just think Bellara would love the high energy pop beats (22, WANEGBT, Starlight). But i think she would LOVE Treacherous/State of Grace as well. Will help with the fanfic writing 100%. I put TV here specifically bc Better Man & Forever Winter could very much remind her of Cyrian??? And you can’t convince me Bellara wouldn’t be obsessed with ATWTMVTV.

Lucanis - Speak Now

Purple vibes, obvious. But he’s like, very Enchanted to me. AKA loves reading romance novels and the concept of romance but doesn’t know much about it/has never experienced it but wants it badly. Which is also why Electric Touch/Sparks Fly apply here. Don’t think about Lucanis listening to Castles Crumbling when he gets back from the Ossuary to find that Caterina is gone (+ later if you don’t save Treviso). Also Innocent was written about him, Taylor told me.

Shout to passenger princess Spite which i feel Taylor embodied when she wrote Dear John (iykyk)

Davrin - Lover

First of all, he is SO The Archer. “Ive been the Archer, Ive been the prey” “i jump from the train and ride off alone i never grew up its getting so old” “i cut off my nose just to spite my face and hate my reflection for years and years” its so Davrin (also one of my favorite songs maybe ever so this is big news). Also as @pinayelf pointed out, Assan as the Arrow?? Dying. But also Davrin’s romance is so Its Nice to Have a Friend. I saw someone talk about this not that long ago, but he’s very much a friend first?? Like he gives the vibe that as your LI you just hang out and rib on each other. I just i feel like they laugh a lot. + Lover as an album is soft but very anxiously attached?? Which i feel is the whole inner life of “i am a Grey Warden and im not supposed to get to attached bc it can’t last.” Honorable mentions go to Daylight/I Think He Knows/Cruel Summer/ Cornelia Street

Could also be convinced he is Reputation bc Reputation seems hardcore but is secretly very soft.

Emmrich - Tortured Poets (The Anthology)

Emmrich would LOVE the flowery language in this. Would love analyzing the lyrics with his besties. He’d love The Albatross (which, coincidentally is one of my favs, guess he just has good taste) and The Manuscript. Also tbh i don’t know much about his romance but “you know how to ball, i know Aristotle” feels like Emmrich with a much younger Rook (shout out to But Daddy I Love Him as well). Idk i think he’d secretly love it. Also relating Robin to Manfred bc that is his son??? On the sad side i feel like Emmrich is very the Prophecy/Peter because he has that dialogue about how he ‘once thought he’d get married’ like he always wanted love but never found it.

Taash - evermore

This was very difficult but i think the general witchy vibes are very “I’m Rivaini, we’re cool with spirits”. Also Tolerate It feels like when their mom comes to visit and no matter what Taash does it’s not good enough. Laash specifically is Dorothea/Ivy to me. And then of course (endgame spoilers) Marjorie after their mom dies and RWYLM if Harding is also gone. As a fan of the ‘pots and pans’ of Closure, they also get this one assigned to them. Just feels right.

[blkkizzat]

hiiii i love your works esp your farmhand!toji one.

do you have any hentai recs for me esp as someone who just started watching

hiii awee tysm babes, i gotta write a p2 to that. i have so many ideas fnfdjfvfdjkf. (also one for when convict sukuna comes to the farm).

hmm hentai recs? hmm i do have a lot but i just checked my saved list and im getting a 404 error 😭😭 so i dont have my big list saved anymore. Although by tumblr standards most hentai anime is dead dove as fuck there's likely some element of: coercion, r*pe, incest/stepcest, lots of blackmail, NTR/cheating, high schoolers, ugly bastard, etc. 

these are the only tame ones i can think of off the top of my head with an element of consent and none of the above elements lol:

Yubisaki kara Honki no Netsujou: Osananajimi wa Shouboushi Season 1

Girls Rush 2

Kuro Gal ni Natta kara Shin`yuu to Shite Mita Season 1 (this is both hentai and yaoi as its gender bend/potion) theres a hmanga for this and its longer but h scenes are pretty much the same.

Ano Danchi no Tsuma-tachi wa

Mitasarete Mezameru Asa ni 1 (one of my favs, might write something for nanami or choso based on it with bimbo!reader)

if you want dead dove recs you can message me, just let me know your no's. i dont want to get hate anons from ppl who cant tell the difference between real life and animation. but i watch hentai like its anime so if its come in the last 4-5 years ive likely seen it lol 😭

[dandeleon]

BONUS POST ABT MY ADIPOCERE & URAPOCERE AMVS BC I FEEL LIKE YAPPING 😋 HASHTAG AUTISM

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hiiii first of all tysm for all the nice tags & comments on both of these it genuinely means the world 2 me ^_^🩷🩷🩷🩷yay

(theres some specific tags i talk abt & look at further at the bottom of this post ^_^)

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ok first if u read the tags on my adipocere animation u remember i said ive had the idea 4 them since august Which is true

so heres some stuff ive made b4 i realized i could make my own amvs

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this picture uve probably seen i drew it back in like october?? I think?????

i dont like this as much anymore i wanna redraw it someday maybe

BUT

did u know i made another one with urapocere ford 2 parallel that one

it was gonna be in the same post as the other one but i didn't like how it turned out sooo it got scrapped

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theres also this i made in early december

i think i planned on posting this but i forgor lol

feel free 2 read it all bc it still stands & is like the basis for my animations lol

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theres also this

which i made in ms like a day or 2 before starting my animation & ended up re-using it 2 make this part:

also heres some early parts of the adipocere one:

^ this one i was planning on using which is why its coloured and animated but then i realized it looked like ass so i redid it👍

^ early ver of the beginning (threres an extra frame in the walk cycle here i think? i dont think i kept the 7th one in lol)

^early ver of uras beginning

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heres some specific frames i like too ^_^

i think the expressions in these turned out rlly good :) esp the ford one.. my only goal for that one was to make him look like he was having the absolute worst time of his life & i think i did pretty good on that front lol

i have more but i hit the image limit LOL

anyways to finish my yap sesh off heres the last part of both animations side by side bc they parallel eachother & i think its neat :)

(hi its leon from the future, i lied here ur only halfway through this post sorry)

actually im gonna come back to this on my laptop & add more stuff maybe

if the post ends here its either bc i forgot to remove this text or tumblr decided to post this for me while trying save as draft

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heyyy im on my laptop now ^_^ and also wondering why i didnt do it on here on the first place bc this is where all my images for this are anyways lmao

anyways!

heres more frames n stuff that i like

(most of these r from the urapocere one because that one ended up being a lot more polished)

^ frame by frame of that one part towards the end

my favs of these 4 are first & last one esp the last one i really like how that one came out ough.. the hand ended up looking rlly good imo (im a sucker for nicely drawn hands)

some particular frames from the final part i like :]

some i like bc i think they came out nice some i like cause they look goofy w/o context

an adi one!!!!

this is just that one part w/o the bg & harsh lighting

OTHER ONES!!!!!!

1: bord from the begining clip i like (theres another one i like from the same clip ill see if i can find it in my sea of folders l8r)

2: from the part near the end. i think it ended up looking cute (which was unintentional but i still like it)

3: blizzard ford (blizzardless edition)

4: fidds! i like this one :) im also running out of things to say

ALMOST FORGOR 2 PUT THIS ONE from adi

this ones probably my fav part from the whole adi amv tbh i think it turned out nice

moar fiddleford

heres that other bord one i mentioned ^_^ idky i just like how this one ended up looking lol

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EXTRA SECTION BC THIS TAG MADE ME POG SO HARD

I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT BUT IT FITS SO WELL AUGHHHHH

thank u person who added this tag ur going unamed bc i dont wanna put u on blast but ur tags on both posts made me smiles so big like. u get it🤝 u get what i was going for 🤝🤝🙏🙏🙏

i have more tags from these posts i wanted 2 add but apparently i hit the image limit :( sad

so im just gonna like vaguely mention them since i cant add images

another thing ppl tagged in the ura one was the yellow text changing the meaning to bill & i NEED u to know that was semi-unintentional. i literally just made the text yellow at the end so people didnt misinterpret that as ford saying it being like "thank GOD fiddlefart died i couldnt stand his ass lmao😂🙏" but thank you for making it look like i had a cool meaning behind it LOL. i think the concept of like it being something ford DID say about fiddleford when he quit the project & bill is repeating it back to him after finding fiddleford dead to torment him is a really cool idea actually waow.....

hold on im gonna be really normal abt that bc i think thats such a interesting way to interpret the lyrics.... like fiddleford left & ford was like "WHATEVER im finally free now without HIM around. hes gonna be looking at me enviously when IM the one with MY name and MY name ALONE on the nobel prize!!!!" & bill repeating those statements back when fiddleford is dead like "this is what u wanted!!! u wanted this!! ur free now!!!!" UGHH THATS SO COOL AND OR FUCKED UP ACTUALLY thank u to the ppl who tagged that im taking this interpretation & running with it i genuinely think its so cool omgggg

like i said in the tags of the urapocere post the lyrics were originally meant to fit fords warped view of fiddleford right after he quit the project but the mv leaves it kinda up to interpretation of whos saying what to who. my personal interpretation while making it was its kind of a mix of ford to fiddleford, ford to bill & bill to fiddleford and/or ford & literally any combination of those work i think tbh. choose ur own adventure who was the biggest hater there

also some tags on the adi one were interpreting where fidds was dragging ford to & i wanna say my personal vision of it was fiddleford kinda just finds fords body lying in the snow in the woods maybe (dont ask why fiddleford would be there.. idk cult things maybe..) and fiddlefords feels obligated to bring him back to the lab so he doesnt freeze to death (he wouldve just erased him & fords memory of it anyways) which is a bit ironic cuz fiddleford is the one who froze to death LMAO (and maybe ford did too idk... you decide)

another thing this goes back to that image towards the top of this post where i yapped abt the songs n how well they fit with fiddauthor & i wanna specifically talk abt the line talking abt icarus because??? oh my god????? literally i think that line alone is like half the reason i associate this song w/ fiddauthor so heavily bc its literally them??? fiddleford literally compares ford 2 icarus in j3 like... its too perfect..

that line alone is also the reason i added english captions to both of them i just wanted ppl to see the icarus line LMAO

another line i also mentioned in that pic was the one telling the other person to forget it all even their face & i think its pretty obvious why that one fits LOL

(feel free to add more thoughts abt them w/ these songs if u have any ^_^)

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anyways. adipocere is my fav song ever & for the past few months ive been doing that thing where u imagine an amv in ur head to a song u like & im very happy i can like. actually look at them now. making these were alot of fun :]

i do have a LOT of personal nitpicks with these (ESP the first one) but that also might just be cause im the guy who had to make it frame by frame LOL

(one minor one is fords skintone in urapocere ended up a bit more grey than i wanted but also he is like. in the middle of being possessed & tortured by a whole ass demon soo. it works i suppose LOL [makes him look zombie-ish])

also i thought making these amvs would make me less insane abt associating these songs w/ fiddauthor but tbh i think i just strengthened it LMAO

Sorry if literally nothing in this post makes any sense im just typing shit 😭🙏

i was gonna add more in tags but it wont let me add anymore so i think that might be a sign to stfu now LMAO

[forestfrolickingfairy787]

ITS FARMING SEASON - A song for my fav Ordanian boy, Twilight - yes it was inspired by SZA's big boy.

It’s farming season 

And all the girls are leaving

 To get a Country boy

I need a country boy

Give me a country boYyyY

 It’s farming season 

And now we got a reason,

 to get a country boy

I want a country boy

Give me a country boy, 

A country, country, COUNTRYyyyY BOY

I need a country boy 

The one that works at Ordon goat farm,

He keeps me safe in a hyrule snow storm,

Wind chill is bitin but his wolf form keeps me warm and he can bring my pumpkins with just one arm 

Till the moon rises I need a country boy cutie, he makes his own money by destroying pots for rupees,

 for the next three months he’s out saving the world, but I don’t mind it because I’m his honey

Country boy with a secret mystery 

H’e s Hyrule king, with a stacked inventory, goats cheese and lots of rupees even some frozen peas

Need a country man, because I’m a big fan, I hope he asks me to his wife 

Cause I’m not messing with other boys who can ruin my life

It’s farming season, 

And all the girls are leaving,

To to get a country boy,

I need a country boy,

Give me a country boYyyYY

It’s farming season and now we got a reason to get a country boy, I need a country boy, give me a country, country country boy

<3 

I actually wrote this last year and figured why the heck not post it here PFFFFF. Please credit me if you repost or reblog, i kind of put in effort in writing this LMAO. lmk if I should write one for the others.