#I JUST PERSONALLY CAN'T RELATE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CAN COUNT THEIR ALTERS AND HAVE THE ENERGY TO FIGURE OUT THE SPECIFIC LINES BETWEEN THEM

[hereforthehitsbaby]

Careful, Bub | DP&W!Logan Howlett x F!Reader

Synopsis: I showed my friends, then we high-fived / Sorry if you feel objectified / Can't help myself, hormones are high / Give me more than just some butterflies

Warnings: Mutual Pining, Masturbation, Sexting, Nude Photos, Mentions of Sex Toy Use, Dom!Logan, Logan Talks You Through It, P R A I S E K I N K ! L O G A N, Choking of the Sexual Variety, Shoving, Claws Come Out,  Age Gap (Reader is in their late 20’s – Logan is 200 years old), Reader used to have confidence issues but worked through them,

Rating: M – No Minors

Word Count: 8.5k

To be tagged in any future work of mine, please fill this out.

It’s fun to relate to the people that live in the same place as you, something about it deepens the connection. Whether it is a mutual bonding over music, entertainment, or even sports – it always makes you feel closer, comfortable. In this day and age, it can be almost lonely if you aren’t connected with others through your phone, making the world feel a bit glummer. Having that safe group is necessary to be one with the world, to feel like you’re going to be okay – like everything is going to pan out. You happened to luck out by living in the same building as some of the most heinous, and hilarious characters the world has ever set eyes on. You have the fortune of calling them your friends.

The group chat was originally Wade’s idea. His way of bringing you into the crew when you worked late, not missing a moment of meet ups you couldn’t make it to. It was a sweet gesture, but with how many others were in there – it overwhelmed you. Out of the twelve people who are constantly messaging the chat, you found safety within two of them. Negasonic and Yukio happened to be your solace when the chat was too loud. Yukio wasted no time in creating a Girls Only chat for you three, where nothing was held back. You three could express yourselves in every way possible, without the guys being weirdos – mainly Wade but still. It was great to have women friends around your own age, that was something you were not used to. 

Any inside joke about the guys or about events being organized was ran through your three separately, making small bets here and there on what Al would say, who Peter would try to have grab his chain, how many times Logan told Wade to fuck off. Logan, that made you tune in real quick. The possibilities were endless and made it eventful to say the least. But the one thing you loved the most about your friendship with Nega and Yukio is how open they are with you; Honest, encouraging, your own personal cheerleaders. When you initially met them, you were a shy little wallflower – getting by on just being a listener over a talker. Always the encourager, never getting encouragement. Shying away anytime someone was nice to you, never accepting it as truth. Yukio and Nega were the opposite of what you were, and everything you wanted to be.

Having a safe space with them meant you could send them anything and they’d listen, give advice, be the best friends you could’ve ever asked for. It was with them that you found your confidence, something you always struggled with. It was one photo you sent them of the dress you were wearing – both ladies telling you how beautiful and gorgeous you are, how hot you looked in it. That small little omission altered your brain chemistry. You hadn’t been called hot before, so it invigorated you to hear that. It was a long dive into the endless pool below, and you were ready for the journey down. Months and months of slowly getting out of your shell with them turned you into a little vixen, the compliments they gave you caused you to thrive. You always reciprocated for them as well, hyping them up through and through. It felt good to feel like you were worth it, like you weren’t just there. It changed the way you saw yourself, and you knew you’d never go back to how it was before.

Tonight was no different, after all you had just gotten back from hanging out with them. A trip downtown to the mall was a call for chaos when it was you three, Wade forcing Logan to stay home with him and reenact The Greatest Showman with Mary Puppins. It bummed you out for a bit, not being able to chill with Logan like you wanted, but when Wade called – no one told him no. It was a secret to everyone who wasn’t Yukio and Nega that you had a thing for Logan. Something about the older man burned right through you in the most sensual way possible, something deep and longing you never wanted to leave. Little glances you two would have together always caused the girls to giggle, teasing you about it later but, it was only a matter of time before the chord snapped, before you gave in. Still that fear sat at the back of your mind, the what if’s. What if he doesn’t want me? What if he doesn’t want anyone? What if? What if? What if?

As you sit on your plush rug right in front of your wall length mirror, you leaned against the side of your bed, humming as you thumbed through the earlier group chat messages. Behind you on your duvet sat the bag full of clothing you had gotten, trying to add more color into your wardrobe. Beneath it all sat a spicy little number you nabbed whole Yukio and Nega were changing, something that felt so right you needed to have it. It wasn’t a secret that you would buy yourself things like these every now and again but, this time around you felt empowered holding this little secret just for yourself, to surprise your friends with. They always said that color duo made you look fearless, powerful, gorgeous – and you’d be damned if you’d pass it up, especially on sale.

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you contemplated getting up to take a shower or put on your new set, feeling yourself out, getting some prime photos then showering. The toss up between the two left you unable to choose, wondering if you could go hang out with Wade and Laura instead, maybe even sneak your way into Logan’s room. The thought made your body shiver, needing to close your eyes for a moment to brace yourself. Taking a deep breath in, you let your mind wander, your hand grabbing the bag off your bed instinctively. It was a given deep down you wanted to prance around your room in the set, spicing up your night. Something about wearing it underneath your clothes while hanging out with everyone felt taboo, downright sinful – but you craved it.

Feeling your body tremble with anticipation, you gently grabbed each piece of lingerie out of the bag, the rustling of tissue paper filling the air as your music droned low in the background. The bra was placed carefully against the bed first, followed by the lacy things and garter set; Your eyes quivered with arousal as you saw it, knowing how it was going to make you feel. There was no wasted effort in stripping completely naked, tossing your day clothes into the laundry basket. The slight cool breeze coming from your central air, mixing with the intoxicating smell of the candles lit around you made your eyes darken, your nipples pebbling against the air. You understood why you were excited and giddy to be putting it in, but in the back of your mind you also felt nervous. It was confusing you.

Pushing it out of your head, you ignored the nagging in the back of your mind, solely focusing on the task at hand. Sliding the soft lace of the thong up your thighs, you reveled in how it felt – how it glided against your skin so softly, like it was a lover. How supportive it felt cupping your front whilst holding your behind helped to quell some of the nerves lying low in your belly. Snapping the elastic band against your hip, you giggled as you grabbed the bra. Even though it was lacy and covered almost nothing, it had good support for your breasts, holding them perfectly to show the most amount of cleavage, but also leaving some to the imagination. In between the small bits of detailing, you could see the color of your nipple, which caused your smirk to grow. Biting your bottom lip, you smoothed your hands over the apex of your breasts, watching as the flesh spilled over slightly.

All that was left was your garter belt, sitting across the middle of your stomach and hooking onto your stockings. You worked quickly to pull them up as you let the music take over you, swaying to the beat so it was less intimidating. As the final strap was hooked to the top of your stockings, you let out a shaky sigh, silently prepping yourself for what you would see once you turned around. Keeping your eyes closed you spun around slowly, letting the anticipation eat away at you until you couldn’t take anymore. Usually you were so confident when it came to trying these pieces on, not giving a second worry to them – this time around you were nervous, as if this particular color scheme made you scared. You couldn’t let that hold you back, not after how far you have come, it wasn’t worth it.

Slowly you opened your eyes as you faced the mirror, the blue tint of the strip lighting giving a whimsy glow to your room. The focal point of your vision started to become clear as you looked at your face, makeup still immaculate and beautiful from earlier. But as your eyes panned down to your body, you felt a fresh wave of goosebumps flood your skin, a shaky moan leaving your lips. The yellow of the bra and thong complimented your figure wonderfully, amplifying the gorgeous glow of your skin. But truly it was the navy blue of your stockings and belt that made your body quiver; The royal deep color punctuating your sensuality with how you stood. You couldn’t believe this was you, in all your baren glory – a fucking goddess amongst men, you could send one to the hospital just with this set. You couldn’t keep your smile back any longer as you stared at yourself, admiring your body and its shape against the lingerie. All the worries, all the small doubts instantly fell away, your confidence skyrocketing.

You knew for a fact Yukio and Nega would hype you up, thinking this was totally you¸ and probably ask if you got it today. But those could wait, you needed to take photos – you needed to see what you looked like on screen. The giddy nature of what you were doing sent shivers through your body, the thought of what positions would look best making you grow excited. You decided that your go-to for new outfits would fit perfectly in this scenario. Who knows, you could save this photo for a rainy day when you wanted to tease someone. You grabbed your phone off of the bed as you dropped to your knees, the plush shag material of your lilac rug feeling lovely against your legs.

Parting your thighs, you left a good gap between both as you sunk yourself down. One hand came to press against the floor directly in front of your clothed core, tossing your hair over to the opposite side. As you held your phone in position with your free hand, you noticed how your arm was pushing your breasts together deliciously, deepening the cleavage, sending your eyes a shade darker. Pouting your lip as cutely as you do, you snapped a few quick photos, getting every great angle you could as you changed your hair direction. A blur of photos filled your camera roll as you felt yourself, “Juno” by Sabrina Carpenter coming across your playlist at the best time.

As you laughed to yourself, you finally stopped taking photos, sitting with your back against the bed and crossing your legs. Each photo you took was a masterpiece, amplifying your beauty by tenfold. But out of each one, it was the very first one that felt real, authentic to you. The others you were playing sexy up, trying to get the best fuck me look going, but it felt too artificial for your taste. It was the first one, the one where your eyes were dilated, where your nipples perked beneath the fabric, where your thighs trembled that made you feel like a God. It was a no brainer that this is what Yukio and Nega were getting, there was no way around it now. Clicking the share icon in your camera roll, you clicked on the first green bubble, eyes blurred from how excited you were about this risky photo. I’d be a lot tougher with claws.

You sent off the cheeky message without a second more thought to it, locking your phone instantly. As you tossed the device on your bed, you put on the silk bathrobe hanging off of the corner of your mirror, wrapping yourself up quickly. All that thirst-trapping made you thirsty, the dry mouth you were getting was too much for you. As you opened your bedroom, making it around to your kitchen of your apartment, you opened your fridge up quickly to grab a water bottle. The cold plastic in your hand brought you back to Earth, your body coming back into itself as your reality started to slip back in. The cap was popped off easily by you, finding its way across the quartz top. Bringing the bottle to your lips, you let them wrap around the opening, gulping down the cold liquid. It felt nice with how hot you felt, bringing your internal temperature back down as your mind cleared.

Ding. The tone of your phone going off made you stop drinking, catching your breath as you swallowed down the water. So lost in bringing yourself back to the present time, you forgot you had messaged the chat. You screwed the lid back onto the bottle as you set it on the countertop, promising to come back to it. As you made your way elegantly back to your room, that pull of nausea and nerves made you stop. Your stomach churned as you stood in the doorway, the threshold keeping you upright. That same feeling from earlier was back as you put on the lingerie, not knowing why you felt so nervous and scared all of a sudden. It made you confused, weary as to what your body was trying to tell you. It’s just Yukio and Nega, why are you being so flighty? Groaning to yourself, you rolled your eyes as you made your way back to your bed.

Plopping down onto the duvet, you sprawled out on your stomach as you grabbed your phone, using your face ID to unlock it. Yes you would. Colors look good on you. You cocked a brow at the message, reading the lines over and over again. It didn’t sound like Nega or Yukio to be so short-worded. Usually, they would send a plethora of emojis before screaming in all caps. But that was just the thing, your last message open wasn’t to the group chat, but one individual instead. It all made sense now, why you felt so scared and nervous. Your eyes went wide as you read the contact’s name, not seeing your groupchat. No, instead it read Logan. It wasn’t the groupchat that received the photo, it was him.

You screamed as you threw your phone across the floor, palms shaking as you sat up silently. The noise in your brain was too loud to focus, the intake of your breath and blood pulsing through your ears made everything too much. Anxiety was sitting in the back of your throat, threatening to spill your stomach out. You scrambled across the floor on your hands and knees to grab your phone, still unlocked from a few moments ago. Shaky fingers worked to unsend the photo, blessing the tech gods for that feature. You were too anxious to type, opting for speech to text instead. “I’m so sorry about that! I meant to send that to Nega and Yukio.” Seeing the wording typed out didn’t feel right, as weird as that sounded. Admitting it felt like a sin, more so than sending a sexy photo to The Wolverine. After all, wasn’t this your endgame anyways? It’s not like you haven’t deep infatuated with him since he became Wade’s friend, since you started hanging around him a lot more. Wasn’t it you who stated that by the end of the year, you’d kiss him? Wasn’t it you who said you would fight tooth and nail to make him yours?

Being sucked into your mind by your thoughts caused you to delay in sending your message, instead removing the text with your finger to completely disappear. Ding. Right as you were thinking of your response, you saw another message come through from Logan, one you didn’t anticipate. Put it back. Now. There was no way he said that, right? Oh, but there was. As your eyes shook from excitement, nervousness, and fear you could make out the small letters of Logan’s message, feeling his desire through the text. He wasn’t a big texter, he even said that himself – but to see him say more than two words was insane to you, even now when he was clearly enamored with you. There was no right or wrong way to reply, but no words you could think of held a light to the dominance Logan is showing.

Incoming FaceTime Call: Logan. The red and green buttons at the bottom made you stir, wondering if it would be a good idea to answer. This was one of his favorite ways to communicate, to see how things were going and what you were up to. Granted they never lasted more than two minutes because Wade would always hijack it but still – the little slivers of time you got with Logan was special. This time around though? It felt wired, like if you answered you’d get the shock of a lifetime. But what was life without a little self-indulgence? Looking up at yourself in the mirror, you fixed a few strands of your hair, pulling your robe a bit tighter around your chest as you sat back against the bed, letting your butt hit the floor as you got comfortable. Dragging your thumb along the green answer button, you positioned your phone a few inches away from your face, enough to get your collarbone up in the shot. A slow, pregnant pause caused by your phone’s connection delayed seeing Logan. But once it came to be, you were taken aback.

The dark of the early night was cresting behind his head, the sun starting to descend into the horizon. His eyes glittered against the holiday lights, causing your heart to swell. Once he looked back down at the camera, he couldn’t help himself but by staring at you, a small smile threatening to take over his lips. “Hey,” he let out with an airy breath, the slight chill of the night causing it to puff out. You felt yourself suck in a breath, the energy already charged. Reflecting his own smile, you sent your own through your phone as you waved. “Hi.” Usually you were a lot more talkative, teasing him to make him smile but – none of that felt right in this moment. Even with seeing his face on your screen, you could tell he was hiding something – not really saying what he wanted to. His eyes were black against the horizon behind him, no sight of hazel coming through.

“How’re you?” You managed to let out, your voice lower than usual as you let your legs stretch out, leaning further back against the side of the bed. Logan didn’t miss a second of your movements as he walked down the street, the light bustling of cars filling the sound barrier. From the buildings behind him, you could see he was downtown, more than likely heading to the bar for a quick drink. You silently wished he asked to meet you there, to hang out privately for once. But that playful glint in his pupils told a different story as he rounded the corner, staring down at you. “Did Wade tell you about my suit?”

Logan asked with a slight smirk, narrowing his eyes suspiciously as he watched for your reaction. Cocking a brow in his direction you tried to understand what he was asking, not sure what suit he meant. You knew that Logan was The Wolverine, it was no secret. But you never saw his suit, only meeting him a week after he jumped into your timeline. Shaking your head at his question, you pulled your lower lip between your teeth, gnawing on the skin to help combat the butterflies in your stomach. The swishing of your hair from side-to-side aiding in cooling you down. “Then what made you choose yellow and blue?” His smirk never let off as he asked, prying. He wanted to fully talk about the photo, he wanted to see if it was truly accidental or planned. Your mouth went dry when he asked, not having a concrete answer for why you chose that color scheme. Shrugging you tightly laughed, releasing your lip as you focused on your mirror. “I thought it was a pretty combination.”

Pretty, by association it was like you were calling Logan pretty. Even if you didn’t know about his original suit, still he associated himself with those colors. Logan mirrored how you were before, pulling his own bottom lip between his teeth as he chuckled. Struggling for a moment, Logan managed to flip his camera around to pan at his legs – the clean yellow and blue pants is all he had to remember his original suit. It caused your heartrate to pick up again, hammering in your chest as you got a brief glimpse at his clothed crotch. It took every fiber of your being to contain yourself, to hide the whimper clawing up the back of your throat. Lost in thought of what he could be hiding under there you didn’t notice how the screen flashed a few times – a text bubble popping up you couldn’t focus on. Logan took screenshots of your reaction.

The camera flipped back to Logan’s face, the heat cresting its way up your neck as you stared at him, your own pupils blown out.  “Do you still think so?” He teased, dropping his voice down a few octaves. You could tell he was wearing his headphones to talk, making it more intimate for him to hear than everyone else. It sent your body up in flames at how you could say anything, and it would be only for Logan. “More than ever before.” It was a no-brained response, you didn’t have to think in order to speak. Your mind was already as alert as it was going to be, the filter around Logan you had previously no longer existed on this call. Logan stopped his walking to stare down at you, narrowing his eyes with a genuine smile as he licked his lips, nodding to himself.

Logan jutted his chin out towards the camera as he started to walk up another well-lit street, never taking his eyes off the camera. “You wanna show me what my colors are hiding under there?” He nodded towards your bathrobe, a sliver of the bra showing against the fur collar. There was one of two ways this could’ve gone, either play into it or shy away. This was clearly an attempt from Logan to see how far you’d want to go with him, really a test for if this was accidental. Mutual pining after one another for so long burnt you both out, so if it kept going there would be no tell when it would stop. The power was now in your hands, there wasn’t much else you could play with. Putting on your best innocent eyes, you let the pretty little smile fall to your mouth, puffing your lower lip out slightly. “Dunno – you sure you can handle it?” Game on.

The sassy tone you let on with your question had Logan’s pants tightening, his breath coming out in sharp bursts as he tried to control himself. Having animalistic tendencies meant that anytime he was aroused, he needed to stake his claim. Show the world who you belong to, who his mate was. Even if you didn’t know, he did. He could smell it on you any time you went past him, or when you looked at him. In another life, in another world you were his – and he planned to make you his on Earth-10005 as well. Huffing out a disbelieving laugh, Logan snorted as he stopped in his tracks, pressing his back against the brick wall of one of the local pubs. “I can handle you, missy.” Logan hissed, letting his eyes go naturally wide to signify how serious he was. The low growl seeping up from his throat made your body shiver, made your fingers work slowly to undo the ties on your bathrobe. “Don’t get it twisted.”

You couldn’t help but snort to yourself as you heard Logan say that, never expecting the 200-year-old man to say something so modern. Laughing lowly as you stripped out of the bathrobe, you let a sliver of your chest show, how your robe fell off of your shoulder. Logan’s eyes narrowed in to watch you take it off, the silk falling behind you. All that he could see was the plush skin of your breasts hanging slightly over the cups, nothing more. A weak moan slipped past his parted lips as he watched, needing to shut his eyes for a moment so he wouldn’t cum in his pants. You knew you had Logan right where you wanted him, letting you take the control back of the situation. It made you feel powerful knowing he was so weak for you, even if it was for a short period of time. “Ew, Wade needs to stop teaching you catchphrases of the early 2010’s.” You weren’t a tease all the time, you could see Logan’s labored breathing through the call, could tell he needed a distraction.

Your remark was enough to make Logan open his eyes again, staring at you with a predatory glint in his eyes; The whites almost impossible to see. “Why are you changing the subject?” He panted, standing upright again as he pressed his covered back to the wall, cocking a brow in your direction. You weren’t prepared for Logan’s retort, thinking you may have the upper hand while he was aroused, yet he always managed to surprise you. Sucking your teeth, you shook your head in confusion, rolling your eyes away from his gaze. “Aw, is someone flustered?” He pouted, smiling with a hint of smugness. Your mouth falling open in a silent gasp made him chuckle, finding it quite adorable how you’re trying so hard. The burning across your face was a clear indication to you that Logan was getting under your skin, trying his hardest to truly break you. It wasn’t in a callous or mean way, but more to show you who you belonged to. Putting the phone closer to his face so you could see only him, he made sure he was loud and clear. “Don’t worry princess, I’ll be nice and gentle.”

“Fuck off, Howlett.” You laughed as you rolled your eyes, exposing your cleavage to the camera without realizing it, your cool slipping through your fingers. The dead giveaway of how he was affecting you came in the form of your camera shaking, your fingers betraying you as you tried to suck in a deep breath. Looking away from the camera didn’t help when Logan stared like he was going to eat you alive, devouring you with every glint his eyes gave. You had to admit it to yourself, your confidence reserve was running out, completely going dry the longer you sat and talked with Logan. If he didn’t act now, he was forever going to hold his peace. “I’d rather fuck you.” It flowed off his tongue so elegantly, never deterring his steps as he managed to walk again. At first you thought you may have misheard him but, you heard him loud and clear, perfect in fact.

The shock written across your face, mixed with desire caused Logan’s restraint to snap. He moved away from the bars entrance and instead kept straight, letting the cold November air nip at him a bit longer. For the first time in a long time, you were speechless. Mouth hanging open, brow creased with a mix of shock and anxiety, you were going through it within seconds, all because of dear Logan. The confidence, the bravado, the je ne sais quoi you have held on the up and up finally slipping. Revealing itself when the shy version of yourself you thought you buried. The submissive angel, Logan had you wrapped tightly around his hand, reminiscent of his old cage fighting wraps. “Eye-fucking can only get you so far, princess.” Logan knew you wouldn’t pull away now, you were putty in his hands. But he could have a little fun with you, and boy did he plan to. It was a sure thought that you weren’t as obvious as you may have thought when staring at Logan, silently begging him to fuck you. The whole time, he knew.

“You’ve known?” It was a silly question to ask but Logan wasn’t stupid. He’s been around for more than 200 years, he could see through stuff as it came through. He is also very well known for retorting back no but I do now, pretending to know a secret as a way to coax you into telling him. You had to make sure this wasn’t like that – or else you’d implode. Logan nodded at you as the lights started to dim around him, a gentle glow from afar lighting the edges of his face. He was still outside but away from the light pollution, an alleyway most likely. Propping his phone up on the closest discarded shelf near a door, he nodded as he pulled out his flask. “No shit I’ve known, you can thank Yukio for that one.” Yukio, your friend. There was no malicious feelings towards her for telling Logan, in fact she may have done you a favor. But it got you thinking, who else did she tell? Was it one giant secret that the whole group knew, hence why they tried to push you both together constantly? “She tells Wade everything.”

And there it was, the shot heard ‘round the world. It made sense that she told Wade, and Wade blabbed to Logan – Yukio would never face the conflict head-on, it went through a source. Releasing the breath you were unaware you were holding, you nodded into the open air as you sunk further against the bed, a bead of sweat gathering on your hairline. The back of your throat felt tight, dry, highly uncomfortable for your own liking. Trying to swallow was like trying to fit a watermelon into a wine bottle, impossible due to how high your blood pressure was. Now that the light pollution of the city wasn’t creating streaks of orange across his screen, he could fully take in your shocked state – seeing the tears gathering in the corner of your eyes. “What? You didn’t think I’d feel the same way?” Logan asked honestly, no longer keeping up the teasing. Seeing the distress on your face caused him to pull back, wanting you to tell him when it was good. He wasn’t going to push further; He didn’t want to ruin this.

The chord of your neck worked to string your words together, trying to find the best match to speak. Nothing felt, nor sounded right on your tongue; It drove you mad. “No, but I thought it was a fantasy more than anything.” You squeaked, coughing to bring some moisture back to your throat. Adjusting yourself on the floor, you brought the camera down a bit, pulling it further back for comfort – a typical position for you. Logan noticed though, how he could see you bright and clear as day, in your pale-yellow bra, that you had just for him. The slightly darker color of your nipple crept through the fabric, causing his pants to tighten, but he wouldn’t tease you further unless you felt better. “Can’t fantasies come true?” It was Logan’s last-ditch effort to ease the anxiety rising in your stomach. It helped, hearing him say that. It didn’t feel awkward anymore, it didn’t feel scary. It was beautiful, the start of something more.

“Are you sitting on the floor?” You pulled your camera back to pan it around yourself, showing off your little number as you sat, pulling your legs into a criss-crossed position. “Yeah, I got spooked off my bed thank you very much!” You stated with a smirk, showing how you were teasing. Logan liked how you said it, acting all sassy as you puffed out your bottom lip. It was cute, you looked precious to him. Everything about you made Logan feel alive, like his life was worth living instead of drowning it with the bottle. You made him want to be a better man, to settle down, start a family – anything you wanted he would give you even if you asked. That, is how much he loved you. “Flip your camera around.” He motioned, twirling his finger as he drank from his flask, groaning at the taste.

Obeying his command, you flipped your camera around as you showed him the mirror right in front of you. Waving cutely through it to him, you fluttered your legs as you sat, anticipation eating its way through you. Seeing the softness of your belly against your thong sent his mind spiraling, his eyes flickering to the fabric down further, hoping to God he could see your arousal. For a moment he took you in, how shy you were getting under his gaze. Hell, he could see the goosebumps forming themselves on your thighs, wanting to sink his teeth into the plushness of your flesh. Nudging his head towards you, his next command was on the tip of his tongue. “Spread your legs, c’mon.” The way it rolled out of his mouth like warm honey had your eyes wavering, threatening to roll back.

Slowly you began by uncrossing your legs, sticking your feet up absentmindedly towards the mirror, making sure to wiggle your toes under the stockings. It was a good tactic for teasing; Logan was living for your control. As your clothed claves hit the rug, you started to swing your legs open, letting each inch of the fabric rub against your soft legs. The sensation sent a shiver down your spine, which didn’t go unnoticed by Logan, reveling in how responsive you are. “That’s it, good girl.” The fated words that made you lose yourself every time, fell out of Logan’s mouth so naturally. As he spoke that blissful name to you, finally your legs were fully open, able to see every little bit of you. It felt good, right to have his eyes on you. He wasn’t someone who could hide his emotions well nowadays, utterly losing it the longer he stayed with Wade. But in this moment you saw the true reserve on his face, the realization that even though he’s in some back bar’s alleyway, anyone could see him. The arousal coating his face, how his eyes focused harder to make out that tiny banana-yellow stain of your wetness on your panties, he was so lost in this moment. “Lean back, get comfortable. Eyes on me.”

“Yes, sir.” You nodded as you leaned back fully against the side of your bed. Reaching to your left, you grabbed at the tripod Nega got you for your birthday this year, shortening the neck of it to sit perfectly to your side. Shaky hands did not make for stable camera work. Something in the back of your mind said this would be the best thing for him; No shaky cam as he directed you, all hands free just for him, it was the perfect pick. Pushing your phone quickly into the top slot of the tripod, you placed your hands on the inside of your thighs, tickling the soft flesh as you awaited Logan’s next words. Beneath the lace, he could see your perky nipples pebbling at the mere instructions he was giving you – silently berating himself for not going over to your apartment and showing you why they call him an animal.

“You’re such a good listener. Don’t think, just do.” You weren’t even trying at this rate, you naturally fell into the submissive role so easily. A commanding personality like Logan always made you fold, obeying each word like it was spoken from God. It’s the reason it made you so special in the bedroom; It’s the reason Logan became obsessed with you. Seeing your submissive side slip through the cracks every now and again made him yearn, a man starved. He could have anyone and all he needed was you. “Listening so well for me.” It was what you could do well in this moment, even with the steady flow of blood pumping through your ears. The whooshing and thumping making it difficult to hear anything other than Logan; The current making room like Moses parted the Red Sea, only he shall walk on through. “Show me, sweetheart.” You felt like you were burning up, from the inside out. Cooking hotter by the words Logan was saying, not able to keep your cool anymore. The husk of his voice, mixed with the lucidness of the alcohol slipping around his tongue made you see stars. If it was possible, you’d cum just from his voice.

Antsy was a perfect descriptor of how you were feeling at the moment, suspense eating right through your chest as the insinuation in Logan’s voice. “Show you what, Lo?” Ah, yes. Your last semblance of control before Logan completely shit-stomped it. An irritated groan fell between Logan’s mouth as he slammed his hands against the wall, the shelving where you were propped up on shaking. His head dangled between his shoulders as he breathed heavily. “Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me.” That was the final straw, the endless teasing towards one another had finally broken. There would never be a way to go back from this, and you fucking thanked whatever or whoever was listening. Check fucking mate, Logan Howlett. That was all you needed to push forward.

You pulled at the side of your panties, swinging it onto the other side of your cunt as you opened your thighs up a bit more. The delicious stretch was aiding in the opening of your folds, letting the crisp air of your room lap through them. Logan drew his head up as he heard your silence, a painful growl slipping through his lips as he drew his brow together in pain. Nothing in this world could’ve prepared him for the sight he sees in front of him, the picture perfect gorgeousness, the thing he wanted tattooed on his brain. It was the purest form of Logan you could’ve possibly gotten; Veins of his neck bulging, eyes slanted so close to being closed, labored breathing like he ran a marathon. This was The Wolverine.

The sight on your phone made a fresh wave of your slick run out of your cunt, seeping onto the thin fabric between your cheeks. Using your first and forefinger to part yourself, you made sure to keeps your eyes on the mirror, eyeing the camera as you rubbed your pearly nub. The bead erect with arousal, begging to be touched. A simple flick of your finger across it had your entire lower half jolting. The sensation almost too much for your sensitive clit. Chewing on your bottom lip to help calm you down, slowly you began to make tentative circles with your first and middle finger, getting used to the sensation as your other hand slipped right under your bed to your secret box, one that no one would suspect.

Logan didn’t miss how you rubbed yourself so tenderly, loving yourself in the greatest way possible, while watching the perverse side of him come alive. He felt so naughty watching you masturbate, listening to his directions in the fucking alleyway. If he ran fast enough, he could be at your apartment before you made yourself orgasm, able to eat you out until you were crying for him to stop. No, this’ll do. He also didn’t miss how you reached frantically under your bed, eyes still on him as you grabbed a velvet bag. The purple glistened against the LED strips lights in your room, the multichrome coloring reflecting rainbows against your fingers. Quickly you worked the bag open, trying to grab at the first toy you could reach. Of course, it was not only the biggest dildo you had, but also happened to be yellow and blue. When Logan saw that, girth and all, he was roiling.

With how wet you were, you didn’t need lube to push your toy into you. Needy didn’t even touch upon how you felt. “Easy there baby, inch at a time. Ease it in, that’s it.” Logan cooed as you struggled to stretch around your toy, the burn already aiding in your arousal. Nodding at Logan’s words, you slowly inched the toy within your tight hole, never letting up on your clit to aid in the stretch. “L-Lo,” you moaned out quickly, eyes rolling back as your head lulled. If Logan was anything like this toy, you’d be unable to walk in the morning, you were hoping for that. “What, sweetheart? Feel too good?” Logan mewled as he gripped his tented cock through his pants, reveling in the harshness at which he was grabbing it. The bark he let out made your body shake, the thickest part of your dildo fully sheathed inside of you. “You deserve to feel this good honey, you’re the best girl.”

The praise was too much as you reached the base of the toy, your lower belly feeling so full of it. Carefully you pulled back on the toy, letting half of it out before you pushed it back in. The rigidness of the silicone rubbing against your spongy spot made you gasp, a throaty moan slipping into the night’s air, echoing throughout Logan’s headphones. “That’s my girl, nice and steady baby.” Logan had no idea what he was even saying anymore, or where he was going. All he knew was that his mouth was going and his feet were moving. Where they’d end up? He’d find out sooner or later. Palming himself as he steadily walked, Logan cut down the corner of the alley, making his way left. “Stretch that cunt out for me honey. I’ll fill you real soon.” Looking down at his screen all he could see was your blissed out face, the hearty stretch of your pussy around your toy, and the absolutely hot sight of your glistening body in his colors. “Just keep going, focus on my voice.”

Nodding at his words, you started to move the toy faster inside of you. The grip you had on the base helped it to conform to your cunt, filling in every ridge. Words escaped you in this moment, all you could do was focus on Logan’s face on your phone, watching how he never looked up at he walked, eyeing you like you were the World Series. Cresting behind your eyes was your orgasm, threatening to take you out with one swipe of your fingers. You couldn’t finish so soon, you wanted Logan to see exactly how it was for you. But there was no use, your arousal was so high, you were going to cum one way or another. The small squeak you let out caused Logan to stop in his tracks, glaring down at the phone will his full, undivided attention. “Look at the mirror baby, watch how sexy you are when you cum.” The breathy moan to which he released those words caused you to unleash the deepest groan you could muster, eyes blown out to nothing as you looked in the mirror.

Just like that, like the snap of your fingers, that string tethering you and Logan together snapped. Everything went white. Your ears rang as your throat became raw – yet no sound broke through. The sweetest coaxing could be heard miles away but yet it faded quickly. The world wasn’t spinning or moving for that matter. Instead, it was just staying still, letting you soak in this orgasmic bliss. Slowly the fog began to clear for you, your vision turning solid again as you watched the mirror. Heavy panting made up the sound coming back. The shaking of your body slowing down the longer you twirled the toy inside of you, rubbing your fingers deftly across your clit. Little by little, the blissful nature of your orgasm satiating that deep hunger looming in your chest. “That’s my good girl, making me so proud.” Logan’s tender voice cut through the staticky sound as your breathing steadiest itself. Licking your lips as you let your eyes wander around your room, you noticed that your tripod was a lot taller than you initially realized, almost looming over you as your fingers never stopped. Only that wasn’t your tripod, and that voice you heard was coming from directly beside you.

“Hi, princess,” Logan smirked into the mirror, meeting your gaze as you realized what was happening. It took a moment for it to register, wondering why he looked so much bigger now. Watching the figure of Logan reach between your legs in the mirror, it only clicked to you when you felt his grip close around the base of the dildo, pulling it out of you with cautionary ease. Shivering from the loss of girth within you, you snapped your head to the right as Logan caught your eyes. Smirking, he waved the wet dildo at you, chuckling as he threw it onto the bed. “H-Hey Logan,” you managed to let out, gulping down the pool of saliva in your bed. Nudging his chin behind you, Logan ran his calloused fingers over your chin, gripping your skin firmly. “Get on the bed.” It wasn’t an ask, it wasn’t a question. It was an order.

“Logan-“ you began, but were stopped when Logan grabbed at your throat, pushing against your pulse point with two fingers. The new sensation made your core clench around nothing, pulsating openly as you looked into Logan’s obsidian eyes, trying to make out what was going to happen. “Now.” Logan ordered, grabbing you by the neck and waist as he helped you up. Standing on wobbly knees was not a good idea, but damn it if it didn’t feel good. It took a moment to acclimate back into your body, Logan’s bodyweight kept you upright as you struggled. “Don’t make me tell you again, you won’t like that.” The threat made you want to break it, break him. Playing a brat for him would be a fun adventure, but the desperate nature of your arousal made you reconsider. Yet you were naturally doing it, and Logan was going to love punishing you later. “Very good girl.” Logan praised as you slowly sat back onto the bed, letting the silky material of the duvet caress your body.

How did he get in here? That was a question crossing your mind, nothing else but how. He wasn’t there all the time and you knew it, remembering that you were FaceTiming him. Narrowing your eyes in the direction of the bedroom door, you thankfully had a clear view to your front door, seeing that it was shut but – not quite perfect anymore. A smirk laid across your lips as you noticed the claw marks on the door, specifically around the doorknob, you assumed on both sides. Plus, the small splinter on top of his hand that he is currently picking out was enough tell for you. Logan had used his claws to unlock your door and get into your apartment. He was never going to the bar, this entire time he was walking to your apartment. It made sense now. This whole time he was coming to make you his. The revelation caused you to whimper out of pure love, no longer lust. Of course though, that didn’t last long. For what you saw next, shook you to your core.

Standing in between your legs was Logan fucking Howlett. The Wolverine. No longer did he wear his TVA jacket he was given earlier this year, but instead stood shirtless over you. The sweat on his body caused his chiseled physique to glisten in your room, his natural musk making your hornier by the second. His pants you had seen earlier of the same color scheme you are wearing, brushing wonderfully against your baren thighs. The reinforced nylon feeling like silk across your skin. Panning your eyes up to his hands, slowly Logan started to release his claws, inch by inch. A pained expression crossed across his mouth at the extension, but he fucking loved it. Why can I only see half of his face? As your eyes made their way upwards, no longer could you see his darkened eyes, instead replaced with something that shouldn’t have been considered hot. Across his eyes, around the top of his head was The Wolverine cowl, complete with, as Wade called them, blowjob handles. The animal himself, standing right between your legs.

You sunk back slowly on your elbows, stretching your legs open wider to fit all of him. Biting your lip, you looked up at Logan between your lashes, panting like a bitch in heat as you take him all in. “You want to see the real power yellow and blue really holds?” He growled, lightly tracing the dull edge of his claws against your sides. Yes, you do. Needless to say, this was the start of you wearing his colors, especially if this would happen every time.

----

Tagging: @livelaughl0ve3 @mehjustalasshere @allen-444 @begaytotallygay @tezooks @hughj1d @pinkanonwriting @craziersarah98 @actuallybridgetjones

[themultiplestarsystem]

Me when I first discovered I'm a system: okayyy let's do a blog and I have 9 alters and let's try to express ourselves through different fashion tastes and maybe our friends will call us by our different names OH and separate profiles and pronouns and

Me now: I'm Simon :) I am not alone up here [taps the side of my head]

[traegorn]

Do you do tarot/ can give advice? I asked if I was right to want to skip this wedding I have coming up. I got reversed queen of swords.

I'm the maid of honor. My spouse and I have paid for the bride and groom's dress and suit. We're paying for the night before hotel stay. I don't really like this girl, but no one else does either so I was the 4th person she asked to be maid of honor and I said yes just because I like weddings. They've been married for a few years but this is their first ceremony. My spouse wants to drop out and not go at all (he's defacto best man) since he doesn't like either of them and this groom's recently threatened the bride but she's laughed it off as " he's just tired". My spouse is the only one of us who can drive and he will not make time to drop my dress off for alterations. He also won't pick up his own suit/makes sure we're out of spending money so he can't. Neither one of us really wants to support the marriage, I only wanted to go just to go to a wedding since we've never had one either. We've spent over 1k so far not counting the hotel or alterations or accessories or his suit yet. Just 1k on the bride and groom because they can NOT afford any of this. I think everyone deserves a nice wedding so I don't really care but I feel bad that I don't want to go now. It's too stressful trying to wrangle everything that needs done on my own and at this point I don't think there's enough time for alterations anyways. Wedding is in less than a month. I'm intending to play sick but I think I might be a bad person. We're the only people involved that aren't related to them and her family hates the groom as much as we do, they're just loud about it. I'm just so tired of the whole thing, I never thought they'd actually follow through with it. I just thought I'd get to go wedding dress shopping and get some formal wear to attend events in. Im also stressed that the image of the whole wedding thing is going to prevent this girl from leaving this man who demeans her and threatens her in front of their children. Kids didn't even react, its horrible. Anyways. Advice? If not, at least I hope this was entertaining. Thanks

What is... this was wild. From start to finish, absolutely wild.

So I don't do tarot, but I know people. And you have gotten yourself into quite the mess. Honestly, the fact that you've paid for this stuff is deeply nuts for me, especially when you say you don't like these people.

I don't even hang out with people I don't like, let alone pay for their wedding.

So in regards to the wedding, I'd bow out -- you're in pretty deep, but it might be time to rip the bandaid off. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen -- someone you don't like stops talking with you?

I will say I don't like how your spouse is handling it. If what you're saying is true, he's being a bit passive aggressive about things. If he doesn't want to do something, he shouldn't make excuses -- he should just say he's refusing to do it. It'd still be rude, but it would at least be honest.

As for your "friend" -- you can't fix her relationship. They're already married according to you, so it's not like you can tell her to skip the marriage. At best you can tell her you don't like her husband and why... and that's it. You can't make her decisions for her.

So, in short, skip the wedding, tell your spouse to say what he wants instead of dicking around, and stop putting fixing people who don't want to be fixed onto yourself.

[rollercoasterwords]

i do think it's odd when people talk abt r's lycanthropy as though it is somehow offensive to like....acknowledge or emphasize the fact that he is a werewolf at all. like i think it's weird when people say that it's gross or harmful to write lycanthropy (which is, of course, a fictional disease that is an allegorical tool for exploring themes related to disability) in a way where r is written with "wolfish" traits, or he or the people around him refer to him as a werewolf or just in any way emphasize that being a werewolf is part of who he is.

and i'm not trying to overstate this like it's a huge issue, because at most it's just like. a couple people making posts online, y’know? but i just think it's odd when i do see people say stuff like "don't refer to him as a beast/wolf/etc!!! he's a person!!" or act like it's disgusting for lycanthropy to alter his characterization at all to make him more "beastly"

because like. ok. what we have here is lycanthropy as a chronic illness that is vilified + stigmatized by the wider wizarding world. and typically in fics remus has a very negative view of his own lycanthropy since he's grown up in a society that tells him he's a monster. so if the response to that is "don't emphasize that he's a werewolf at all by giving him negative werewolf traits!!!" it's like....that is. exactly the message that we are supposed to be questioning if we're going into this allegory with a critical reading. bc u are also now treating being a werewolf like it's a bad thing.

like if u think it's an actual issue for him to be portrayed in a way where he is more wolfish/beastly....why? who's saying that those things are bad? why is it so important for him to be portrayed as "civilized" rather than "monstrous," and who in this context is qualifying what counts as "civilized" vs. "monstrous?" why is monstrosity diametrically opposed to humanity/personhood in the first place?

obviously this is all fanfiction and if somebody wants to write r's lycanthropy so that he's just a werewolf once a month + otherwise isn't that affected by it, or is only affected in ways that are easy to deem sympathetic (ie, he gets hurt + has to spend time in the hospital wing but he never exhibits any kind of aggression or "animalistic" or "beastly" qualities otherwise) then that's fine. and i'm also not saying that he has to be written as like hyper-dominant alpha wolf beastman either--i don't necessarily think that's the only possible interpretation for how lycanthropy might manifest in traits outside the full moon. it's more just that i think it's weird when people moralize about like...."playing into werewolf stereotypes" lol bc. again werewolves aren't real. but also in the context of lycanthropy as allegory, the goal is not to say "you can't write those traits related to disability bc it's a negative stereotype," which does nothing to question why it's a negative stereotype and ultimately just reinforces the idea that those traits are something negative. the goal is to use the allegory to explore how people who fit "negative stereotypes" of disability navigate an ableist society that stigmatizes them + insists that the only path to acceptance is to hide their disability as best they can + assimilate, while simultaneously making assimilation an impossible goal.

[luce-speaks]

Greil Mercenaries superhero AU

thanks for the ask! this one really got away from me so it ended up taking a while but i hope you enjoy what came of it :D

also shoutout to @tobegii for helping me brainstorm these as the tellius expert <3. and to @local-eldritch for running interference the entire time and trying to make things worse

Ok, for starters: setting. This fic would be set in one of those superhero settings where people with powers are treated as freaks. There's no superhero industry and no PR for heroes. Heroes and villains alike are wanted by the government (though, yknow, some of the enforcers tend to be a bit nicer to the people who actually save their city on the regular than the ones trying to burn it down).

At the start of the fic, the Greil Vigilantes are a well-known team of masked heroes, comprised of Greil, Titania, Oscar, Shinon, and Gatrie. Rhys is their medic but his existence isn't really known to the public. Also unknown to the public is the fact that this group of fighters is raising a gaggle of children at their secret base, which doubles as a sort of unofficial foster home for kids with powers. This wasn't the original intent; Greil's reputation as one of the first vigilante heroes just resulted in a lot of misfits and outcasts flocking his way.

now we get to the long part because somebody (me) decided it was important to come up with powers for every single character:

Greil - flight and super strength and a cool sword (ragnell or something idk).

Titania - gravity manipulation. not a lot of thought here other than she's cool and gets a cool power

Shinon - no powers, just a guy with a gun and freakishly good aim. joined the group bc a) gatrie asked him to and b) he was already on the run from the govt so may as well shelter with these guys

Gatrie - can make barriers/shields. he and shinon work well as a team; shinon does the attacking while gatrie protects his powerless ass from any superpowered attacks flying around

Oscar - shapeshifting (into animals. people are difficult). oscar joined the group because he was seeking shelter for his brothers after they got found out for having powers. fighting alongside them is sort of his way of repaying them for that aid.

Rhys - emotion sensing/manipulation. (i've been told this is similar to a character called "mantis" but i wouldn't know). rhys mostly sees his power as a hindrance since it doesn't turn off and often makes him feel sick when people around him are distressed. it's the reason he had to drop out of med school and ended up joining as the team's medic.

and then the kids (they're around their PoR canon ages in this, maybe a year or two older, but i'm going to call them collectively "the kids" throughout)

Boyd - regeneration (superpower) and is also just weirdly strong (in the normal person way). i wanted to run with the idea that families have similar types of powers so the brothers all have powers loosely based on changing their body somehow

Rolf - can make doubles of himself. mainly because i thought it was funny. he still fights with a bow and arrow because they didn't want to give him a gun

Mist - teleportation (movement based power inherited from greil's flight) and immunity to mind control/alteration (based on her immunity to the medallion in game)

Ike - what i call "shitty flying" (can hover but can't maneuver himself around in the air) also inherited from greil's flying power. nothing else.

Soren - wind powers with a side of thunder and lightning (which only tend to come out when he's in distress). obvious reasons. soren was also the only one who wasnt part of the group due to relation to one of the original members (ike found him in the woods or smth and brought him back to the base) (mia doesnt count because she joins during the fic)

Mia - telekinesis. no thoughts about this one. she joins the group midway through the fic, to be game accurate

So we get some background with all these characters, get introduced to what they're up to. The kids still go to school and have normal lives in varying amounts, having to be careful not to show their powers, and they're generally not invited to the big superhero fights. I figure Greil would still want his kids to take over the family business one day, but (especially in a more modern setting) he'd want them to enjoy their childhood and stay out of danger for the time being.

And then Greil dies. Or disappears, at least. He's fighting The Black Knight, an infamous supervillain, and he loses, with no one close enough to save him. Ike sees it happen on TV, and he can't even say anything for fear of revealing his and his father's identity. They never find the body, either.

Greil's presumed death rocks the entire city and shakes the foundation of the Greil Vigilantes. Shinon and Gatrie leave; Titania and Oscar don't want to fight anymore except to defend their base from anyone who might threaten their family. It's Ike, of course, who wants to keep his father's dream alive.

Fearing that Greil's death will invite a new era of chaos upon the city, Ike comes up with a plan - to take up his father's mantle and convince the city that "Greil" never died in the first place. It's a tough job; where Greil had super strength and flight, Ike has to rely on his own (normal) strength and Soren's wind powers to keep up the charade. After some convincing, his friends step up to help him as well, forming a new group of rookie heroes ready to take on the world. But with the Black Knight still trying to hunt down "Greil" and finish what he started, they might all be getting more than they bargained for...

Some main plot points & arcs for the story:

Tensions within the group run high as everyone disagrees on the best way to protect the people they care about. Titania and Oscar don't want any of the kids fighting any battles; Mist and Ike get into arguments about Ike's recklessness. Boyd keeps throwing himself into danger to protect others and getting yelled at for it. I don't think anyone wants to let Rolf near the battle but he refuses to be left behind.

Later in the fic, Titania and Oscar get some cool moments when a battle comes too close to home and threatens the secret base (or if someone almost kills one of the kids). They may be retired heroes, but they're still forces to be reckoned with in their own right.

Shinon and Gatrie would also definitely make reappearances, now off doing their own thing as a proper morally-grey-superhero-duo of their own. I don't think they'd ever properly rejoin the group, but they might team up for the final battle or something.

Identity shenanigans throughout, for everyone. All the kids are trying to keep their identities a secret while living some kind of normal life. Mia finds out Ike's secret (or part of it anyway, maybe not all the stuff about his dead dad) and they're like oh god what do we do but then she turns out to be a super also and ends up joining the group. Several of them know Zelgius personally (maybe he's a teacher at their school or something?)

Ike trying so hard to fill his father's shoes and eventually having to come to terms with the fact that he can't do that. He just can't. But, at the same time, he's learning that maybe he doesn't need to in order to help the people he cares about (and the city at large). Eventually, of course, we get that chekhovs gun scene where the power Ike keeps calling useless (hovering) manages to save him in a moment of danger and he gains a new appreciation for his abilities etc etc. But also a lot of it is about teamwork and Ike's abilities as a team leader for his friends.

Soren has trouble controlling his powers when he gets upset. This would be a running thing, used to accent emotional moments and also giving Soren his arc to deal with as he tries to help Ike. Could also be used for a really cool scene where Ike gets hurt and suddenly it's thunder and lightning for miles around.

Mist and Rolf being utter menaces with their respective powers. This would be a running thing. They cause so many problems. Sometimes they work together to do so.

[bhaalitsm]

⠂⠀⠀⠀Hero show 醒めないでよ DOKIDOKI 抱きしめて oki doki 視線は heart Hit する sing a song LA LA LA love⠀⠀⠀ ⠂

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⭒ .⠀Klan Children of Bhaal⠀⠀ㅤㅤ⟢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤshe/he/thou ⠀ㅤ⏖⠀ㅤ20. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀BPD ﹒ DID ﹒ AUT

⠂⠀⠀⠀Hibikaseru izure sumikko no innen o subete Hazama nureru hodo ni imi o koboshite tsutaeta Nokori tamae...sono "shimi" ⠀⠀⠀ ⠂

══╬  Hi! You can call me Dikke or Di, please don't use plural terms unless prompted, I prefer to see myself as a person with DID rather than just as a system. My disorders are influential but I don't want them to define me ─ I am only interested in interacting with 17+ people who are not chronically online, if the discourse can't exist in the real world I really don't want to hear about it . . . my system is very persecutor heavy, introjects are not their sources, etc etc etc. I am an OA cult survivor so tag content around that for me if we're muts!   🌾    ) I have a lot of interests, some of them being : anything horror related, dead by daylight, attack on titan, attack on time, uma musume pretty derby, fear and hunger, atarashii gakko, baldurs gate, skylanders, hotd/got, the boys, idv, coryxkenshin, reverse 1999, brain rot mascot horror, dandys world, cod, figure collecting, until dawn, mouthwashing, and more obviously 𓂃🚬 I kin Brian and Stewie Griffin and I'm kinda like if Charlie from smiling friends was mentally unwell, my friends describe me as "a frat boy if he was a lesbian." I'm also a wasian jew and do talk abt sinophobia in online western spaces sometimes so erm

⠀⠀⠀⠀ꕀ some frequent frontiers of mine are ; 🍾 Avery, me, the host ︵ she/him Levi, the addicted one, trauma holder ︵ he/him Emil, the dogist boy, trauma holder ︵ he/wag Acunín, 11 year old elf, prpr ︵ he/thon Merithe, my nicest alter, cohost ︵ she/hx Homelander, exactly how he sounds, trauma holder ︵ he/him ᛝ🧺 I am diagnosed, my alter count is around 11. I'm not here to debate syscourse I'm more interested in making sure misinfo for CDDs isn't spread- yes, this includes the 'I'm 12 and have 1400 distinct alters and also have hcdid' this isn't meant to be mean, I support self diagnosis but some of the claims I see, mostly said by minors who aren't very educated in the disorder they claim confidently to have bother the hell out of me, like just don't include the disordered part PLEASE if you parrot antisemitic conspiracy theories as opposed to using updated terminology like OA just don't interact with me, I'm a cult survivor and I'm not gonna surround myself with peoples who's main source of info is satanic panic.

𐏐With the serious stuff out of the way, here's some more abt me! My flags are below (ask if you don't recognize any) as well as some user boxes that are silly I also occasionally reblog terms/flags I identify with check #⚢ My IDS

If you made it down here let's be friends! I need to interact with more adults w DID/OSDD etc ♡⃕ ⠀⠀⠀  🧟‍♂️    ) I do NOT have a DNI, if anything makes me uncomfortable I will just block and move on like a regular person <3

[maythearo]

I think Jamil doesn't need a real "Uncle Ben" figure to teach him "great powers, great responsibilities" since he's pretty responsible. Like, he takes care of Kalim his entire life and all. And Gwen didn't lose her uncle or aunt, she lost her best friend.

But at the same time, even he hates Kalim, if he lost him, that still counts a cannon event(?).

Before Uncle Ben's death in Tobey Maguire's movie, he said "I miss the part where that's my problem". Think about it: Jamil finally gets a chance to be himself, be free. Without worries, without responsibilities. While he's using a mask, no person would find out and co relation his behavior with the Asim family. With that said, he isn't a hero yet. He just a random guy using a suit like someone in comic-con. But he forgerts about time itself. And I didn't thought about it too much, but he saw someone sus and don't do a single thing. Hes not a hero, the only person he needs to protect is Kalim. Turns out that single "Idc" leads to Kalim's death. So he takes the path, like in the beginning of Tobey's and Andrew's movie where they search for the killer.

I had more things to say, but I totally forgot about it.

The BR Jamil Simp Anon

Jamil's the most responsible spider-man in the multiverse fr

Losing Kalim could count as a canon event now that I think about it 🤔 a canon event of this type, from my understanding could either be the loss of a mentor (not specifically uncle Ben, Tom Holland's spider-man lost aunt May) OR of a best friend (like Spider-Gwen when she lost Peter, or when in Andrew Garfield's role he lost Gwen. In Tom Holland's universe he was supposed to lose MJ too, but Andrew saved her last minute since he's an anomaly in that movie and interfered with the event just like Miles did with Pavitr's universe when he saved the police chief)! Jamil may not consider Kalim as the dearest friend or anything like that, HOWEVER Kalim does consider Jamil to be his best friend... so... in a weird way that could count as a canon event, I think? An unexpected one, but still! NOOO MY SUNSHINE BOY

I still have to rewatch the old movies to remember the major stuff that happened, but how could I forget about the "I missed the part where that's my problem"? THERE'S SO MUCH TRAGEDY!! Jamil took the opportunity to be free at least while he's spider-man... but turns out, responsabilities follow him around no matter where he goes, or who he tries to be.

As for the other movie sequels, all I recall from them is that at least in Tobey's story, there's a brief period of time he gives up being spider-man? Or maybe I'm remembering the order of facts wrong, and he only stopped the super hero duty because his powers weren't working anymore? (Correct me if I'm wrong though). But regardless, what came to mind here was the question of what if Jamil gave up on that too? Just as a second possibility, like, "if he can't even be free as that alter-ego then what's the point"? I'm screaming and crying, why do all paths of this au lead to pain end suffering??? To my favorite guy no less?????? 😫😫😫

And for the last point, I guess so! It's just that whenever I think about twst's universe I tend to imagine the majority of people there use/are used to seeing magic in their day to day lives, while in marvel's universe science and technology are more prominent than magic itself. Idk how to explain it, but I feel like magic usage has a bigger "weight" in stories than science does? (Depending on how the story plays with it of course) So in a world where magic is more prominent than science, it kinda feels a bit unbalanced in terms of how the characters' powers play out. Like why use science if magic can do these same things with much more ease? Even if it's just to cut some corners, at least to my view it feels a little out of place. But that's just me really!!

[spook-study]

Public Domain is everything. The all encompassing freedom of Public Domain has never been more clear than in the horror genre. Poe, Lovecraft, Shelley, Verne, Stoker, Leroux- all up for grabs. But that doesn’t mean they’re the only ones getting the living touch of fear. Horror is bolstered by Public Domain, expanded by it, and it makes for some wild movies. Filmmakers lovingly poking at non-spooky classical literature is how you get fun little things like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016). People wait with bated breath on their tippy toes to lampoon the stories they love by adding a little bloody flair. I can't wait to see what people do with Mickey Mouse. While these movies or books may not always be the best, they’re always worth a smile. But some people just end up bespoiling well known properties with what seems to be very little thought.

And that’s how we get thing like Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey.

Where do I even begin here. This movie was a mess. First of all, Pooh and Piglet are the only two members of the Hundred Acre Wood who appear. Instant disappointment. Is it too much to ask that we get to see Eeyore go crazy and attack some unsuspecting young folk? You know behind all that ho-hum attitude there's got to be some rage brewing. What about Owl? Terror from above and ambush attacks oh how I wanted for thee. Kanga and a now grown Roo could have had some freaky mother/son crap going on. I mean it's a horror movie that actively corrupts these characters, so why not throw in a little weird anthropomorphic animal incest? Roo always was quite attached to his mother. Rabbit could have been unnaturally fast, a speed killer, nothing but a blur before victims were tugged off the screen to their untimely demise. Plus the munching? Rabbits are munchers. Imagine big Rabbit munch crunching on bones like they were carrots. Gopher could have been a knock-out, huge mounds of earth moving towards someone until he snatched them up like he was a giant worm in Tremors (1980). That's just off the top of my head.

These are things that could have related the characters to their original properties, which the movie doesn't even do for the only two characters from the Hundred Acre Wood that are actually in it.

Tigger. Tigger was not in this movie. I am livid just thinking about it. I don't like to swear too much when I write my silly little spook studies, but honestly what the fuck? What the fuck! He is a tiger! You know, one of the deadliest ambush predators in existence? On average they apparently kill 1800 people every year. He could have been Shere Khan times a thousand. Plus he bounces? That would have been freak city. It just felt like one of Blood and Honey's many missed opportunities. They could have each had one amazing kill apiece, the body count in this movie was certainly high enough for it. Kanga, Roo, Rabbit, Eeyore, and Gopher I can understand not using, even though Roo was always my personal favorite.

No Tigger though? Unfathomable. Tigger got his own movie. I know the full group is big and maybe too much to tackle, but Tigger is such a popular character it felt weird that he wasn't in this. We get Pooh and we get Piglet. Two characters must mean they both must look amazing, though, right?

Wrong. The design for them was bad, plain and simple. It really grinds my gears thinking of all the wasted potential of having Blood and Honey be a Milne property. It could have been so campy and weird and fun and instead we got two guys walking around with masks on. They looked like a couple of friends put together Halloween costumes for 'scary Pooh and Piglet' and splurged on the good masks. The rest of the costuming consists of clothes you might find in your weird uncle's closet. There were no alterations to any part of them below the neck. They had human feet, human hands, and human mannerisms. Pooh is wearing overalls. Piglet is fully dressed as well, but at least his clothing is worn. Pooh's plaid shirt, on the other hand, looks practically brand new. The only clothing Pooh should have been wearing is a tattered red crop top. Piglet should have been naked. I mean how gross would that have been? Naked Piglet, hog out, goring you to death. Now that would have been a good time!

Money was almost definitely the issue. When faced with a movie that was as much of a let down as this one, sometimes it's hard to remember to take those things into account. Less money, less cast, less effects. 'Shoe-string budget' might even be too generous to describe what the cost of this movie. But it isn't necessarily about the money you have, rather where that money goes. I think Tigger should have been budgeted for. Maybe lower the body count, which saves on actor pay, costuming pay, and special effects pay. Keep it to one or two simple locations with minimal travel. With unfathomably small budgets like the one for Blood and Honey, it might have been beneficial to tighten it up even more. Shrink it, contain it, make it more intimate. Blood and Honey felt too big for its britches. Perhaps there should have been more focus on the costuming, makeup, and effects that might have gone into our childhood comfort characters. I'm very passionate about the practical elements in movies, so these designs were totally disappointing to me.

I've spent a lot of time talking about things this movie didn't do, which can be a bit unfair considering the constraints of budget and production. I try my best to take movies as they are presented, but Blood and Honey gave me so little it makes it easy to talk about what might have been. Why not this, why not that. But let's get back into what the movie was.

The story, unfortunately, wasn't strong enough to make up for the lackluster creature designs. In typical Christopher Robin fashion, he eventually grows up and says goodbye to his friends. He had always brought sweets and tea with him, but upon his cessation they can't provide for themselves, go crazy and, for lack of a better term, become cannibalistic. They eat poor Eeyore.

Is it cannibalism if they're eating a member of a different species? Not really, but I think that's probably the best way to describe it. They eat him because they begin to starve.

Pooh, who notoriously scavenges for honey and should be hibernating anyway starves. Rabbit, who has his own garden and would stockpile for winter starves. Gopher would eat roots, Owl would hunt for small prey, both starving. Kangaroos eat mushrooms, among other things, and they both still starve. Piglet is potentially the only ones who would have difficulty providing for himself just because pigs need a rich diet and a lot of food. But in the source material they have a communal table, and even feed Christopher Robin. But there's no gory family meal here; it turns out they cannot live without the food he brought with him. Real animals can and do become food dependent on humans, but these characters are not fully animals. The movie even tells you so, calling them abominations. They have human intellect! They have a community. They built houses. They swing knives and hammers around with deadly intent. But they can't do farming. Seems they can eat ass with the best of them, though.

While we see Eeyore's munched upon skeletal remains, there's no explanation for the rest of the group being missing. Were they eaten, frozen to death, or killed by a hunter? If the movie did tell me I ended up missing it, which was no surprise because guess what? They do not speak! They don't fucking speak! Why isn't killer Pooh "hoo-hoo"-ing? Where were the rumblies in his tumbly before he ate someone? That iconic voice coming out of a huge man-bear as he kills? Come on. I mean it's right there! Honestly I felt like so many issues with this movie could have been solved if they were given dialogue. Every member of the Hundred Acre Wood talks, that's just part of it.

Christopher Robin wasn't just imagining his adventures either. His friends are real. So where was the camp? Beloved early childhood characters turned killers is such a fun idea, so where was the fun? Why did it feel like this movie wanted it to be taken so seriously? It's Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, not Deliverance (1972).

Upon being "abandoned" by Christopher Robin, they grew resentful of humanity and eventually turned into killers of people, not just depressed donkeys. This makes enough sense, except they're active serial killers and have been for what seems like years. They plot, kidnap, and torture with intent and there's a slew of unsolved murders and disappearances in the Hundred Acre Wood. This suggests the Wood is traversed regularly enough to at least find some bodies. So why does anyone go there anymore? How many people have to die for the Wood to be fully canvassed? Why was there a huge mansion right on the edge of it, which our completely forgettable human characters rent?

Given the evidence, it should have been easy enough for law enforcement to find their little encampment, it isn't like it's hidden or invisible. Plenty of characters go there, too, so it isn't only accessible to children. That could have been interesting, if you needed the eyes of a child to get there. Plus, it would have forced the introduction of a character who's representative of the source's target age group, making it easy for the viewer to relate to their younger self- the version that actually watched or read Winnie the Pooh. Everyone in Blood and Honey is a young adult or older.

By far the biggest travesty of all is that Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey isn't a monster movie, it's a slasher movie. Every one of Christopher Robin's friends is an animal, but the filmmakers decided not to make a monster movie. Why even bother with the property, then? Pooh is running around with knives and weapons, doing hand-to-hand combat, drowning people. Folks, he drives a car.

He drives a car.

Insane. Absolutely insane.

I mean what in the hell? They are strange chimeras, amalgamations of human and animal. Blood and Honey leaned so heavily into human that they hardly seemed like animals at all. This also doesn't make much sense within the logic of the movie. Pooh can drive a car and stalks kids with the intention to scare, torture, and kill them, but god forbid he figures out scavenging or farming for food. Sure, Piglet munches down on some people, but only after tying them up or fighting them. A home invasion slasher movie. Villains in proverbial "Cabin in the Woods" movies can be basically anything- killers, monsters, aliens, animals, cannibals, demons, witches, gods, the Devil, viruses, zombies, werewolves, ghosts, mistaken perceptions, oneself, children, mental instability, Nazis, Kathy Bates- see what I'm saying? It was always going to be a cabin in the woods movie because it's set in the Hundred Acre Wood. That didn't mean it had to be a slasher.

Perhaps the filmmakers thought how serious it was would be funny enough on its own; it shouldn’t have been hard to make this satire. But if that was what this movie was going for, it didn’t land for me. There just wasn't much use of the source material. That was honestly the most frustrating thing. I kept waiting, and the Winnie the Pooh of it all never made an appearance. Why didn't he get caught in a window? Why wasn't he gulping down human blood from a honey jar, the label 'honey' crossed out for 'human?' Why couldn't he like, I don't know, control bees or something? Piglet turning into just a wild boar would have done it for him. Imagine Pooh and his pet Piglet on a leash. Hilarious, weird, a joke on how attached Piglet is to Pooh. The things that could have been!

Still, there were plenty of kills with plenty of blood, which was a saving grace. They had decent enough effects and were all pretty unique. Some of them are right gnarly, and that's always a plus for a horror movie. While many of the kills did make me laugh, just having the killers be Pooh and Piglet wasn’t quite enough. It was a constant string of asking 'what?' because there was just zero connection to Milne's works. They didn't talk so there were no zingy one-liners or tongue-in-cheek references. It was played too much like a straight slasher movie. Again: why a slasher and not a monster movie? Crush my dreams, why don’t you. I think it wanted to be satire, but where were the references? Where were the jokes? Where was the camp? Where was the hightened reality? I kept rolling my eyes: 'That's guy's not Winnie the Pooh,' 'What does this have to do with Winnie the Pooh?' There was no Pooh or Piglet about them, they were just dudes in masks. It's just a mask. It's just a mask!

They could have been switched for the guys from You're Next (2011) and I don’t think you would have needed to change a thing. The killers in You're Next even wear animal masks. So what's the point of having it be a Pooh property? There was no reason for them be from the Hundred Acre Wood other than to say they were. It felt like first-time writer/director/editor/producer Rhys Frake-Waterfield had written a slasher movie, then once Winnie the Pooh entered public domain he just tossed them in without changing anything. He also maybe took on too many jobs for this movie.

There's low budget, and then there's doing four different jobs yourself. Outside opinions and suggestions are essential to movie making. Producers think about what will attract audiences and money. Editors have an additional artistic eye and the conversations between they and the director almost always make for better movies. Quentin Tarantino used editor Sally Menke in every one of his movies until her passing because she got it. The original Star Wars trilogy was probably saved by George's then wife and editor Marcia Lucas if the post-divorce prequel trilogy is anything to go by. (Please don't come for me Star Wars fans.)

These were collaborations. A director needs outside opinions. Needs more than one pair of eyes looking at the final product. That goes double if they are also the writer. Killing your darlings is hard if no one is telling a writer where their own story is lacking. It's good to have a singular vision, but movies by nature are a cooperative work. So where was the behind-the-camera cooperation?

And just a little thing: it's the Hundred Acre Wood, singular. Not the Hundred Acre Woods, plural. Steam is coming out of my ears. Stuff like that kills me dead, because it makes it seem like no one even cared enough to check the name. And if they did, they didn't care enough to make it right. Why make it Winnie the Pooh at all? What's the point if you aren't going to pay attention to the details?

Despite my dislike, I truly hope Rhys Frake-Waterfield keeps making movies. It’s clearly something he wants and loves to do. I just think in ten years he’ll look back on this movie and cringe. Because it was cringe-worthy. I don’t enjoy disliking movies like this because the people who make horror tend to be very passionate about it.

I wanted this movie to be good, or at least a funny, entertaining bit of trash horror. I really wanted it to work. For a wide array of movies, people go in expecting it to be good. With most horror, however, people go in expecting it to be bad. See the difference? I try hard to give every horror movie I see the benefit of the doubt: sure it looks bad, but until it comes out I’m assuming it’s good. Because you never know!

Then I found out whether this movie was a good one, a so-bad-it’s-good one, or a bad one.

This movie was bad. For me it wasn’t even so-bad-it’s-good. The heartbreak of it all. I’m sure there’s more to be said, but I’m just sick and tired of even thinking about it; I this movie was that much of a let down. Not for me. I’m angry over it, frustrated, and a little bit baffled. How did this happen? I grew up with Pooh and friends, like many of us did, and I think we deserved a better horror movie about them than this one. I just kept asking why. Why, why, why.

How to even end this write-up? I didn't even mention how bored I was for the duration, either. Eye-rolling. It just stunk. It was hardly good for a laugh, there was no point to it being Winnie the Pooh, no references, no satire, no camp, no fun, no point of view, no nothing. It was a big fat wad of nothing. The idea was so wasted on this movie it felt like it wasn't used at all. Honestly it might have been better if it had just been two regular-degular killers. This movie was so disappointing and I disliked it so much I'm going to be a bit mean: Rhys Frake-Waterfield should be embarrassed. I would be. He just didn't seem to know how to use the characters.

Am I being a bit harsh? I don’t know, probably. But it just didn’t do it for me. Should I tell you to check it out? I don’t know. Maybe stoned? But I was stoned so what does that mean? Perhaps it was so not my taste that I’m missing something. I hope there are people out there who totally love this movie. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them.

I'd give this a zero if I didn't believe in my self-imposed rules about rating on one to five. To that note, in my book Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023) gets an obvious 1/5.

[splathousefiction]

On Age Gap Discourse

Finding out that there's a whole ageist discourse about fictional characters is wild, because simultaneously the same people screaming "old man Yaoi!" are upset because a 20 year old laughed at a middle aged mans joke.

For the record now and forever:

My characters and their age ranges are usually in the same decade I am, because it's what I know and it's easiest to write/relate to.

Jack The Warlock is 35 and has gray hair.

Jimothy Schwartz is 30 and easily looks in his early 20s.

Jenazebelle is 39 and both The Warlock and Jim jokingly call her a cougar.

Poppet, The Warlock's alter from another dimension, is 55 and has lived a hard life. He looks much older because of it.

Willard the Ghost Butler is over a hundred years old and is a RAGING cocain addict and alcoholic.

In "Old Man LaCroix", a holiday audio I produced last year, Jack Infernalus (named after the Warlock, his nephew and heavily inspired by a cousin I love dearly) is eleven whole years old. They're not the only child that's been featured in my work, as Kudzu (no last name) was only eight years old before he mutated into a giant evergreen forest.

All of these characters have interacted in a more-or-less same setting. Because that's life. You're gonna meet people older/younger and different from you in a lot of ways and sometimes they become your friends, sometimes you both pass each other like ships in the night, never to speak or see each other again. Sometimes you find shared experiences over the span of years in the count of one, five, ten or twenty and you form a bond you never forget.

Every time a "characters can't interact if they're (arbitrary number of years)" comes up, I'm reminded of one of my IRL friends named Charles who I used to play Magic: The Gathering with. I met Charles when I was 22. Charles was 65 years old and a born-and-bred carolina farmer. He'd gotten interested in the card game because of his grandson and would come every single friday to play cards with us. Charles and I hit it off smoking cigarettes together, and of all the people I wanted to see at the tournament friday, Charles was always the first person I spoke to.

We got beer and dinner together many a time. He'd talk about farming and the pending legalization of weed (which he called his "retirement plan") , and I talked about how badly I wanted to be a writer and radio broadcaster. Charles was one of the first people that heavily encouraged me to chase the dream, however unobtainable it seemed at the time.

I miss him dearly. The entire card shop showed up to his funeral, much to the joy of his family who doted that he always talked about "that group of guys he played cards with". If I'd followed the logic that popular discourse seems to preach, I would have been denied the memory of knowing that man and the many other elders, "big brothers/sisters", mentors, and even "cougars and dilfs" I've been fortunate enough to cross paths with. I never would have used those positive experiences to make the characters you all adore.

I'm not denying there's wolves after us out there; but there comes a point with the often hyperbolic, puritanical thinking of popular discourse that harms rather than reduces harm. You cut off your entire arm to save your finger.

Talk to people. Talk to people like you, but more importantly, talk to people radically different from you as often as you can, every single day. Sure, you're not always gonna agree. Sure, things are gonna be fucking awkward sometimes. But through words and speaking with them, you might just realize we're all a lot more alike than you'd ever imagine.

[megashadowdragon]

one quote for my younger self

source : www . reddit . com/r/grandorder/comments/15rd5db/one_quote_for_my_younger_self/

reddit comments

| Search comments

User avatar level 1 Euphoric_Field_8558 · 10 hr. ago

:Nobuvenger: :Her Favorite Chair: "I can't stand my older self" and "Oh no my younger self is cringe" are definitely the running themes in Fate series. How many are these now?

255

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Striking-Technology6 · 10 hr. ago Enough for a large club.

117

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 LordWINDOS · 7 hr. ago The fact EMIYA and the Gils of all people actually are in the same club and grudgingly agree with each other on this subject makes it all the funnier.

86

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 Classic-Demand3088 · 4 hr. ago

:Ozymandias: Waver is also with them but surprisingly Alexander and Iskandar get along great together, well, maybe not that surprising.

21

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Zyx-Wvu · 9 hr. ago I think the only servants who like their older and younger selves are Cu and Iskandar. Setanta is an odd exception where he thinks adult Cu is cool but also cringe, and despises Cu Alter.

83

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Glass-Category8281 · 8 hr. ago · edited 6 hr. ago Well Cu Alter is basically Medb's personal OC version of Cu she created via a Grail after. Granted even Cu recognizes Cu Alter is very close if not actually is what an Alter of him would be like, which may add to Setanta's discomfort.

71

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 Z000Burst · 6 hr. ago

. say alot about how much Medb know Cu if her Self created OC is insanely accurate to the real thing

28

Reply Share

User avatar level 5 Cr1m50nSh4d0w · 3 hr. ago I seek glorious death via being choked by the thighs of legends. No one knows you better than the stalker under your bed.

11

Reply Share

User avatar level 6 KamenRiderExceed · 1 hr. ago Kiyohime: Definitely agree.

2

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 sagitariusknight · 49 min. ago Pretty sure the Li's don't hate each other. They just know that they'll try to kill each other as a test of skill if they ever meet.

1

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Set-After · 2 hr. ago Who knows, I stopped counting long time ago

1

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Quirky_Ad_5420 · 10 hr. ago Archer: I can relate

109

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 9 hr. ago Kinda remind me there 2 story between Morgan and Archer Emiya and how their interaction work.

39

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 abed7143 · 6 hr. ago · edited 6 hr. ago Morgan : so this the one of future selves off the boy my foolish sister fall in love with and become a Counter Guardian, life sucks ?

Archer : so what are you planning witch queen , now ? ( preparing unlimited blade works )

Morgan : the summer

Archer : the summer ?

Morgan : the summer with my Kinghts and get water gun butter than Artoria i am too tired to do anything else , by the way fairy kinght Gawain want to join to kitchen stuff but too shy to ask is there a place for her ?

Archer : did she like Gawain cooking skill ?

Morgan : she is better in every term

Archer : she haired

15

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 6 hr. ago · edited 3 hr. ago Morgan: If you don't felt busy you can join me along with my knight for summer vacation.

Archer: Sure . After all we are betrayed by people who close to us. Summer vacation is good for people like us who hate the existance of our past self.

Summer Archer Artoria burning jealousy by watching the scene of Morgan and Archer.

13

Reply Share

User avatar level 5 Classic-Demand3088 · 4 hr. ago

:Ozymandias: Morgan looking at Summer Artoria: You have your own Knights of the round, I have mine grabs Emiya Say hello to Tam Lin Bedivere

11

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Reko15 · 6 hr. ago Finally! A new rabbit hole to dive into. Was running out of ones that caught my eye

9

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 chinesesoccerplayer · 5 hr. ago Aesc: I don’t mind losing against someone else, but I refuse to lose to myself!!!

Emiya: Intense sense of Deja Vu

10

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Radiant-Hope-469 · 10 hr. ago We will never reach 2018 Aesc: Uh huh, and I have Anti-Berserker.

88

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 10 hr. ago Morgan : And i beat my succecor who is caster class along with all of her friend * Pointed to Mashu , Castoria , Da Vinci , Percival , Oberon , and Ritsuka.

45

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Dozer2992 Cake day · 8 hr. ago Aesc: And yet, you went down like a bitch. In your own court, even.

37

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 8 hr. ago · edited 7 hr. ago Aesc: You sent Great calamity from your timeline to past and let me handle them and somehow Mashu get caught by your magic which made me must sent her back to your era.

Come to think just what the hell are you doing during 2000 years during the time as queen ? Just sit down in throne and doing nothing ? Why don't you practice another magecraft in the case someone stab you and baobhan sith from behind? Why did baobhan sith become cruel to the point a whole country hate her and you rarely praise her except kill fae to the point she get raised by fucking BERLY GUTS.

Morgan exe has stoped working.

24

Reply Share

User avatar level 5 Just-Some_Rando · 7 hr. ago Bro Tonelico doesn't have to go that hard

22

Reply Share

User avatar level 6 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 7 hr. ago With kinda made me wonder how Baobhan Sith , Barghet and Melusine reaction toward that Aesc quote.

Although i can see Baobhan Sith felt blaming herself to the point she can't defence her mother from her timeline (Berserker Morgan)

14

Reply Share

User avatar level 7 TwoStarMaster · 5 hr. ago Baobhan Sith terrible personality is due Morgan encouraging her, thinking she would have a better life by acting like a one dimensional, sadistic bully.

Spoilers, She did not, in fact, she ended worse.

10

Reply Share

User avatar level 8 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 5 hr. ago Aesc: One of reason i must hate my future self.

8

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 TwoStarMaster · 5 hr. ago Ritsuka: "You did beat us, and? So did a regular servant, so did a shadow servant, so did a dedicated normal magus! You are nothing special, Queen!"

9

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 huqman · 5 hr. ago Well, to be fair, Morgan handed us our ass unlike any other.

We killed Zeus. We defeated Kirschtaria. We killed Arjuna Alter.

The only fights we actually lose and would not have survived unless a specific thing happened is…

Morgan getting Game-of-throned. Chaos with Musashi literally burning her Saint Graph to close his gate.

User avatar level 5 Crystal_Sohnd · 4 hr. ago Because it was the only time Chaldea didn't have a Deus Ex Machina in their back pocket.

Against Arjuna Alter, we had Super Karna. Against Zeus, we had Romulus-Quirinus. Against Wodime, it was Beryl and Morgan who pulled off the clutch. Against Surtr, we had Ophelia and Napoleon intervene.

Morgan's multiple full powered clones were a problem because Chaldea didn't bother acquiring superior firepower from elsewhere except for the Black Barrel. We walked into Camelot without a trump card of our own, expecting things to work out. Small wonder we got steamrolled.

The only one who could possibly counter Morgan was sitting quietly in a Garden because of personal issues, the other one was waiting to backstab us and why Lord Camelot couldn't stop Morgan's Magecraft attacks when it could stop a planet-piercing beam is something I'll never figure out.

4

Reply Share

User avatar level 6 huqman · 4 hr. ago The point is… Prep time helped us with Zeus and Arjuna while it did nothing to prepare us for her fight.

We did everything we thought we needed to defeat her, allying with the Northern fairies and Cnoc, ringing the bells of pilgrimage and empowering the Child of Prophecy Castoria, persuading Barghest, sending Muramasa to assassinate her as a failsafe resort.

But even with all those things AND Melusine abandoning her post under Aurora's order, Morgan was probably seconds away from killing everyone, Master and Castoria included, before she was knocked off the throne by deceived Woodwose.

Also no, Merlin can't defeat Morgan. She was the one who put him in that Garden in the first place. She can't kill him according to her own words, but she sure can reimprison him again.

Oberon is a different case, he said he figured he can't defeat Morgan alone, and even if he could, that wouldn't realise his final goal of destroying Fairy Britain.

2

Reply Share

User avatar level 7 Crystal_Sohnd · 3 hr. ago Also no, Merlin can't defeat Morgan. She was the one who put him in that Garden in the first place. She can't kill him according to her own words, but she sure can reimprison him again.

Except Merlin picked up Independent Manifestation A. At that rank, the person exists across all space and time. Heck, the man sent a copy to get imprisoned. He could dispel the copy and send another, it wouldn't bother him one bit. His personal gripes is what keeps him from abusing the skill like nobody's business.

His feats of creating copies means he could replicate what Morgan did. His feat of diverting mana to Chaldea means he could utilise it himself too. And since he's effectively immortal, he has endless attempts in hand unless Morgan figures out how to counter Independent Manifestation.

Morgan is a genius, but Merlin is both her teacher and the current Grand Caster, a genius of magic himself. The two are stated to be equals in Garden of Avalon. So yeah, he's the only one who could take her on.

We did everything we thought we needed to defeat her, allying with the Northern fairies and Cnoc, ringing the bells of pilgrimage and empowering the Child of Prophecy Castoria, persuading Barghest, sending Muramasa to assassinate her as a failsafe resort.

No we didn't. Chaldea knows that a Lostbelt King has the power to match forces of nature. Even the weakest one we know of had been at the level of a genuine Grand servant.

We had no trump cards. Chaldea allied with a bunch of mooks, barely got Castoria powered up and thought we'd defeat an LB King. Just think how stupid that was.

We didn't even bother preparing an Anti-Morgan weapon like we did for the rest. The fact we defeated even one of her clones, that were as strong as the original, is even more telling. Morgan needed to rely on numbers to overwhelm a bunch of mooks. That's not a very positive indication of her power.

3

Reply Share

User avatar level 8 huqman · 3 hr. ago The clone we defeated was either an understatement from her part or straight up bait to get us to lower our guard which, surprise, worked, because the three clones we fight later are literally an unkillable death squad.

What else could we have done to prepare? Send Castoria to countless pilgrimages to get her stronger? There was no time and whatever number Castoria do would always be inferior to Morgan's because she had 4000 years to do them.

Also I am not doing Merlin dirty, he is great, but Morgan is weaponizing her magecraft more.

1

Reply Share

User avatar level 9 Crystal_Sohnd · 2 hr. ago The clone we defeated was either an understatement from her part or straight up bait to get us to lower our guard which, surprise, worked, because the three clones we fight later are literally an unkillable death squad.

That's kind of an assumption. The reason the three were an unkillable death-squad is because all three could spam her absurd skills repeatedly. We barely beat the first one, of course three would cause problems. But that doesn't mean we can discard statements when they clearly stated she was just as strong.

What else could we have done to prepare? Send Castoria to countless pilgrimages to get her stronger? There was no time and whatever number Castoria do would always be inferior to Morgan's because she had 4000 years to do them.

That's somewhat true. Of course, if Ritsuka still possessed their Shadow Servants, then things change. It gives us other options. And even then, shouldn't Mash be able to tank Morgan's blows?

Also I am not doing Merlin dirty, he is great, but Morgan is weaponizing her magecraft more.

Frankly, we don't know. Merlin's battle style are illusions so powerful they warp the world to his whims, the stuff that even genuine Gods fall prey to. Just see how a copy of his handled Cernunnos. He's also shown a long history with Excalibur, being the one who received it from the lake and gave it to Artoria, using a copy of it in battle and modifying it into Airgetlam.

Because of his philosophy of "watch the master and occasionally help", we never see him truly serious. So, we have no idea how strong he is, apart from the fact that he can instakill Divine-spirit class enemies, which is already an insane feat.

3

Reply Share

User avatar level 10 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 1 hr. ago Even Merlin is trying to help us to defeat Morgan keep in mind latter also anticipate of him if he appeared.

1

Reply Share

User avatar level 10 huqman · 2 hr. ago Oberon freaking out because he knew us "killing" Morgan would get us careless hints it was a bait.

Also what Merlin did to Cernunnos is, in fact, a strong evidence to Morgan weaponizing her magecraft way more than Merlin. Merlin put Cernunnos in a dreamscape and basically reversed time, "tricking" him to give us a fighting chance, which is a grand feat, don't get me wrong.

But what did Morgan prepare to counter Cernunnos? A barrage of 12 Rhongomyniads to kill him, and the reason they didn't kill him when Castoria used them wasn't because Rhongomyniads are weaker than Excaliburs, it was because Castoria isn't used to use them, she is used to and "forged" to use Excalibur.

11

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 GreenKing5498 · 10 hr. ago Asec: not if my boyfriend has anything to say about it

59

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 9 hr. ago Morgan: Only stupid man who fall in love with someone nerd like you.

51

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Chaldea_Novum · 8 hr. ago Fujimaru: whistling in the corner

37

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 NeoFire99 · 7 hr. ago

. Aesc: THAT PERSON WAS ALSO YOU!

32

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Apgamerwolf · 10 hr. ago

:Mandricardo: A certain red archer: I dont know you but I think you might be my soul mate.

Artoria: Oh hell no!

102

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 dsr1017 · 9 hr. ago Archer: She's just like me fr fr

66

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 9 hr. ago · edited 9 hr. ago 5 years later.

Saber Artoria : Master who is that child you hold ? * She pointed to young girl Ritsuka hold *

Ritsuka : You don't know the parent of this child? The parent of this girl is your sister from lostbelt and Archer Emiya.

Saber Artoria exe has stoped working

36

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 10 hr. ago · edited 10 hr. ago Morgan smirked : Of course , my husband.

EMIYA : WHAT!!!!

Saber Artoria: WHAT DID YOU SAY!!!!

Gilgamesh , Medea , Carmilla , Jeanne Alter : Welcome to the our club of "Hating My Younger Self Cause of Cringe.

Artoria : * Shaking her head*

53

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Adamskispoor · 8 hr. ago You forgot waver

20

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 Apgamerwolf · 8 hr. ago

:Mandricardo: I guess he technically doesnt count because outside of the fate zero event this doesnt really come up

9

Reply Share

User avatar level 5 Adamskispoor · 5 hr. ago Pretty sure in El Melloi it’s somewhat canon. There’s also that Ova where he punched himself in the face lightly after realizing his past self was dense and missed one of his classmates flirting with him when he was young

10

Reply Share

level 6 kingace22 · just now whats the name of the ova

1

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 VV-Radiant2000 · 6 hr. ago You just have to go there.

And here I thought I found a good sub.

Do this in FSN and not here.

9

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Formal_Row5172 · 5 hr. ago · edited 40 min. ago That’s a considerable amount of upvote you got there. Weird how this hasn’t spawned any discord, maybe everyone has gone through the Morgan phase already.

3

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 VV-Radiant2000 · 4 hr. ago OP is also responding heavily and got served goods. Let this kind of people be happy of themselves…….. I'm being sarcastic btw

2

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Personal-Syrup9370 · 7 hr. ago Cringe it is……

4

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 ZenEvadoni · 8 hr. ago

True Name: Bite Me Morgan watching Aesc go through the process of trying to save Britain:

"Hey. That's hell you're walking into."

39

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 chinesesoccerplayer · 5 hr. ago Last Stardust starts playing

12

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 bhl88 · 8 hr. ago Morgan: YOUR DREAM IS STUPID AESC.

35

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 ZeroKingLaplace · 8 hr. ago Aesc: HEY, NO ONE CAN SAY MY DREAM IS STUPID EXCEPT ME

29

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Fregith · 6 hr. ago Morgan: YOUR DREAM IS STUPID, AESC!

21

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 bhl88 · 6 hr. ago YES IT IS

NO IT'S NOT

YES IT IS

NO IT'S NOT

IT IS DUMB

16

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 paladin_slim · 7 hr. ago Aesc: "All I said was that you should try some frumpy nerd/aloof upperclassman roleplay with Husband. He seems into it."

Morgan: "And I told you that I don't need such gimmicks to rock his world you old yearbook embarrassment."

Aesc: "I'm so prudish in my maturity."

Morgan: "I'm not 'prudish'! I'm a dynamo in the sack!"

Aesc: "Yes I am."

Morgan: "DIE! DIE AND RETURN TO MY MEMORIES!"

23

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Fregith · 6 hr. ago Aesc: "I'm so prudish in my maturity."

"And put some clothes on! I look like I'm to fall out of that dress!"

Morgan: And I'm supposed to be the prudish one?

10

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Horsemanofthedank · 4 hr. ago “I WILL…..NEVER BE A MEMORY….”

3

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 nam24 · 1 hr. ago Morgan: "I'm not 'prudish'! I'm a dynamo in the sack!"

What? What does that even mean

1

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 archeisse · 9 hr. ago All beauty is to be cherished Does it work like this though?

Because as I see it, Aesc, unlike Archer, never actually got disillusioned by her ideals, no matter how much it denied her. Where Archer considers his past ideal as delusional, Morgan just dismissed her past approach, and tried a different approach. She still clung on to the goal of saving Britain, especially as we found out one of the function of her throne later in LB6. She doesn't say it, because it's pointless to say it, but even her Bond Lines are clear, if she's given another chance, she'll work to save Britain again.

Aesc/Morgan is goddamn unbreakable.

37

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 9 hr. ago Just imagine what would happen if somehow you get sent to future and meet another youself who become evil.

Beside there Aesc quote to Morgan.

" That's Morgan? The queen who ruled Faerie Britain for 2000 years. Aaah. Her clothes show off too much and her throne is awfully gaudy. What is her damage? "

The funny this is that Aesc is fans of Arturia Pendragon , Which is person lostbelt Morgan dislike. 🤣🤣

"Arthuria Pendragon. The Pan-Human Knight of the Holy Sword and… the Pan-Human Morgan's archnemesis. I see. So an ideal king did exist, even if not for long."

26

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 AzurePhoenix001 · 8 hr. ago Though when presented with them, Aesc did accept Morgan’s ideals and even embraced them

4

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 8 hr. ago Depend

if Aesc , Totorot , Ulter and Ector travel to future and meet Aesc from future timeline as Morgan Le Fay who rule the britain as tyrant. I'm sure they will refuse to believe Aesc as Tyrant and found out what the reason the latter fall into that fate.

4

Reply Share

User avatar level 5 AzurePhoenix001 · 8 hr. ago I think I should clarify a little.

Aesc accepted Morgan’s ideals from the very beginning. Aesc’s approach was initially different from Morgan, but they had the same goal

4

Reply Share

User avatar level 6 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 7 hr. ago · edited 7 hr. ago What she accepted is the love of britain from her PHH self. But i'm talking about her ruler as tyrant.

1st assecation is basically where she become evil and hate all the fairy to the point she made quote like this although her bad-guy act was pretty forced

"I hate all fae outside the Rain Clan. I'll do what it takes to free Britain from conflict, but I don't really want the fae to be happy. If they want my help, it's going to cost higher than their lives.", she posed like an evil witch out of a fairy tale.

2st assecation where she embraced title of savior and meet Ector , Tottrot's , Wryneck ,Uther .

5

Reply Share

User avatar level 7 huqman · 5 hr. ago Well, there is a very good and justified reason for her hatred.

Those fairies massacred the entire Rain Clan just because they raised Morgan/Aesc.

It takes Saint JeanneStockholm syndrome to not hate and curse the ones who destroyed your life.

6

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 Tschmelz · 8 hr. ago I mean, Morgan isn’t evil though. Certainly more ruthless, but she held back a lot against Chaldea and the fairies. More than anything, she just seems embarrassed by her older selfs sense of style.

9

Reply Share

User avatar level 4 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 8 hr. ago · edited 8 hr. ago Morgan as Tyrant is lesser evil but have strong reason. Imagine you get existence tax with result absorb your life force. That why fae and human is really hate her . Not to mention she and castoria get racism by them just because outside 6 clans.

They need you while great camality appeared and ambuse you once is the threat is over.

17

Reply Share

User avatar level 3 archeisse · 1 hr. ago All beauty is to be cherished That quote said nothing about disliking anything except maybe her sense of fashion though.

And Aesc may not like what she became as Morgan, but was there anything about Morgan somehow disliking her own past? Because I sure never saw anything to that effect. And those two are very different things. I'm addressing how Morgan never discarded her ideals, nor did she ever disavow her past aspirations. Those are what "drown in your ideals and die" does.

2

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Noximilien05 · 7 hr. ago Emiya : Hello everyone and welcome from this new session of the “I hate my young and naive younger self club”. Today we are happy to welcome a new member among us : Morgan Le Fey.

Morgan : Thank you president.

13

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 6 hr. ago · edited 1 hr. ago Saber Artoria: Pffft, Bahahaha! My younger self is better than you. This is Saber Lily, my past self who not loathed toward all of her future self.

???? : Saber Lily is too pure to the point she love all of us. Too bad i will destroy all SABERFACE.

Saber Artoria : WHO ARE YOU ???

Mystery Heroine X : My name is Mystery Heroine X and my true identity is Artoria Pendragon . I'm from alternate dimension , servant universe . My mission to destroy All SABERFACE.

Saber Artoria : Oh Crap.

Morgan: Heh here right now Another Artoria from alternate dimension who hunt All of her counterpart. Suck to be your sister.

Mystery Heroine X: Yes all of Saberface must be died. That including you too , Space Witch Morgan. Your face same like SABERFACE.

Morgan : WHAT!!!!

7

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Jumbolaya315 · 9 hr. ago thats such a cool scene, that whole episode was a masterpiece

10

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 AshCrow97 · 8 hr. ago Morgan: Stay were you belong… in my memories

Aesc: I will never be a memory

9

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 chinesesoccerplayer · 4 hr. ago I feel like the lines should be switched. With Aesc saying Cloud’s line and Morgan saying Sephiroth’s line.

3

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Open-Possible-7080 · 9 hr. ago UBW moments

17

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Ilovetogame2 · 10 hr. ago Asec: at least Gudao likes me more than you.😏

15

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Old_Distribution_124 OP · 10 hr. ago Morgan: Prove it nerd.

22

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 nam24 · 1 hr. ago "I m not the one who was roasted to their face"

3

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 chinesesoccerplayer · 5 hr. ago · edited 5 hr. ago Gudao: Wait, but then that would make me-

Morgan hands him a red turtleneck sweater, a black skirt, and a pair of black stockings

Gudao:…Well, everybody in Chaldea does keep calling me a Rin-face for some reason.

Later:

Aesc: Tell me Queen of Winter, do you have enough blades in stock??? MEMORY OF LONDINIUM!!!

Morgan: You do realize I don’t even use that magecraft anymore right?

9

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 Afraid_Pack_4661 · 5 hr. ago Later Ritsuka go with Saber Alter.

5

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Yukiru_05 · 6 hr. ago

:Castoria: I love you in every universe, Artoria Aesc and Morgan: Ritsuka-kun/My Husband, who do you choose between us?

Ritsuka: Can I say both of you?

Aesc and Morgan: NO!

6

Reply Share

User avatar level 2 nam24 · 1 hr. ago Aesc and Morgan: Ritsuka-kun/My Husband, who do you choose between us?

"This is ridiculous . What would you chose if I shown you my pre Chaldea photos and told you to choose"

Both"that's obvious. The cuter you is better

'Betrayal!?

Reply Share

User avatar level 1 Clearwateralchemist · 4 hr. ago She did drown in her ideals and die. Then she came back and subdued all the fae.

[i-make-mogai-terms-2]

an argument for xenogenders

imma be honest i took this argument half seriously then i got bored so i might come back to it but dont count on that. i think its a good jumping off point for Something though.

0. foreword

i'm kind of tired rn but i just wanna get this out there. i am not an end-all be-all, i am not a representative or a large member of this community, and i would love it if someone could proofread or add to this or bring up counterarguments because hoo boy my brain ain't running today

note that i will not tolerate people just saying "cringe" or whatever. if you're here, come here with a real argument.

I. an argument for xenogenders

gender is a construct. a construct based off our biology, sure, but still a construct. the idea of gender has changed over time and varies by society. the concepts of gender vary from person to person. what "woman" means to someone might be completely different from what it means to someone else.

gender is presentation. you outwardly convey what you want others to think about you. part of that is gender. gender can be conveyed through appearance, actions, words. the signals are then interpreted by someone else. 

now, then. there are a lot of different positions that anti-xenogender people take, but i don't give a shit because i'm a teenager on the internet with like 3 followers. my point being: why does gender only have to be male or female (or male, female, and both/neither)? why can't we try to convey a gender in abstracts, in "tree", in "blue", in "love"? (it doesn't matter if people interpret it wrong - most people with xenogenders, heck, most non-binary people are prepared for that.) but no one can ever perfectly portray their self, their personhood.

gender is self-expression.

FAQ: "why do you coin new genders that no one will use then" IDFK i'm doing it as a community building exercise and because i like flags

II. an argument against cringe

sometimes people are weird. that's really it. i'm fuckin weird, for more reasons than mogai bullshit.

i don't know why the fuck you'd want to hang out with people who don't like you because they don't like people who share the same label word as you. like, who fucking cares about a "cringe" vocal minority? 

and politics. why would people be prepared to take away transgender rights because of a few "bad apples"? it's 'cause they were fucking looking for a reason to take away transgender rights. the people who take away your human rights are never the people you should be sucking up to.

...i'm sorry if being seen as cringe is a new thing to you. i really am. i get the social alienation that comes with being seen as weird. but to truly be yourself, you have to accept that sometimes, people won't like you, because no one likes everyone.

III. an argument for transsexuality

my argument isn't really about dysphoria, lol. (can u tell my brains running out.) i dont rlly see dysphoria as a part of gender expression, which i'm trying to argue xenogenders are. dysphoria is a thing related to but not entirely made of gender expression... i dont rlly know what causes it, i dont know the brain mechanisms behind it, yadda yadda

feel free to copy-paste & alter this post and use it wherever... just don't paywall it, information is free <3

[princesscolumbia]

OP is right and should say it, and I hope nobody minds that I dovetail this with some thoughts on a related piece of media; the Ranma 1/2 reboot. (There were Ranma 1/2 video games, it counts!)

So, yes, by this point we have decades of history and fanfiction. There's not a single square inch of the manga or frame of the anime that hasn't been poured over by fans that support the idea that Ranma is Very Gender™ and pretty much the only online space that doesn't support this is the r/Ranma subreddit. (...there's something wrong with that site, it's like you can find so much good information there and then someone has a "hot take" that gets forty-bajillion upvotes and is one of the most rancid piles of garbage you've ever read)

But here's the thing; Ranma 1/2 was originally started in 1987. To give you a little more context; Crystal Pepsi wouldn't hit test markets for five years, the Berlin Wall wouldn't fall for another two years, and Ronald Reagan was still president of the USA!

We didn't have the words to describe the gender experience at the time, especially in the public lexicon. Japan was toying with the word "newhalf." For the majority of people, even in the trans community, you were a boy or a girl and which you were was determined by the contents of your underwear and how many phallus-insertable holes you had. There was no "transgender" label as we understand it today, you were either a transexual or a crossdresser/transvestite. Transgender wouldn't be used as (to quote wikipedia) an 'umbrella' term until the 90s. And, yes, R.5 was animated in the 90s, but the core story was unchanged from the late 80s black-lines-on-newsprint manga content (the "Does Ranma canonically have black or red hair?" argument is proof enough of that)

(...in the manga, everyone has black or blond hair because the 'black-lines-on-newsprint' nature of manga meant that nobody had different colors of hair. Prior to the whole neighborhood realizing that Ranma has a gender swapping curse, Ranma's able to fool people into thinking that s/he's just really good at 'pretending' to be a girl because people see a person splashed with water and their sex presentation inverting and their rational brain says, "That can't possibly happen," and see that everything but the physical sex of the person remains the same and if said person insists that they're 'still a guy' and nothing's changed, the sex presentation inversion becomes a 'somebody else's problem' and they resume their lives blissfully ignorant of the fact that actual magic happened in front of them. When the transition from manga to anime happened, girl-Ranma suddenly had red hair for no explicable reason other than aesthetics. Red hair changes the game and the fact that people see Ranma's entire physical presence alter including the NATURAL hair color and nobody thinks, "...waaaaaait a minute!" is never addressed in canon.)

(Yes, this was a HUGE point of contention in the fandom for, like, five years.)

(Ask me about the Churches some time if you want to hear exactly how petty the 90s Ranmafandom could get.)

Ranma's behavior is so incredibly problematic from an analysis standpoint because it could be either a boy who's been raised by his father as a completely insulated experience deliberately denying him access to anything resembling females or femininity and leaving him completely unprepared for dealing with actual girls or a hard-closeted transgirl who's internalized all the toxic masculinity her father poured into her for 10+ years on the road with no influences to tell her that there's any other way to perceive the world.

S/he lives in a world where one can only be a boy or a girl and if you're a boy who shows any girly qualities than you're a weak sissy and if you're a girl who shows any boy-ish qualities than you're a tomboy lesbian. Weak sissies are the lowest rung on the masculinity totem pole and exist to be trod upon, they have no life, no prospects, and no future. Tomboy lesbians are ugly parodies of masculinity and exist purely to lure sweet, innocent girls away from the manly men they really want and are shunned by society and have no life, no prospects, and no future. Ranma has ONLY THIS NARRATIVE in which to frame their experiences as a Jusenkyo victim and when Ranma looks at the spread of options before them and sees that every possible choice presented to him/her/them by a toxically misogynistic, compulsively heteronormitive world and sees that every option but 'manly man' would severely limit their choices and freedoms and options and tell them that their very life's purpose is only available in the ONE option of 'being a MAN,' then no FUCKING SHIT the phrase, "I'M A MANLY MAN!" is gonna fall from their lips on the regular!

(This isn't even talking about the seppuku pledge, btw.)

BUT!

Let's side-step this entirely and take a look at another character entirely for a moment...Shampoo.

Shampoo seems to be just an airheaded bimbo on first glance. And, maybe, the second. She's stacked, the very image of what a teenage boy is known to lust after, physically powerful, and cares for her physical appearance to the point she could be a pin-up model. She looks good in a swimsuit and knows it, flirts shamelessly, and her best use of the common tongue is 'pidgin' levels, at best.

But she's NOT JAPANESE. Why does this matter? Because it completely re-frames the presentation of her character. If Shampoo had been born Japanese and raised Japanese and still acted like she did and talked like a bad parody of a Chinese national, then we could dismiss her as a particularly dim bimbo and move on. She is, however, Joketsuzoku, a member of a tribe of warrior women who don't even consider themselves to be Chinese, even if their home is within the geopolitical boundaries that the PRC claims as theirs. She learned enough Japanese in the space of a few weeks to go from, "Doesn't understand the language at all," to "Capable of working in a punishingly demanding fast-food environment for 12+ hours a day." She's not being hounded by the Japanese immigration authority about attending school (and you KNOW how much of a lense Japan puts on foreigners), so she likely took some education tests and passed at a high enough grade level that the Japanese government didn't even bother with a student visa, she understands chemistry/alchemy enough to use "traditional Amazon" formulas and techniques, and defers ONLY to her great-grandmother. Literally nobody else is able to tell her what to do.

And the whole, "flirts more shamelessly than a street hooker" thing you're probably thinking? Guess how many people she actually has sex with, canonically? Zero. She's in Ranma's bed an awful lot, but there's never a moment where she actually has sex in the manga, even with Ranma.

(There's some soft-canon implications that she's slept with Ukyo in the anime continuity, but even that supports my contention, which is...)

Shampoo, as a character, is an incredibly deep and intriguing inversion of the Japanese prejudice against foreigners, especially Chinese nationals.

So if we look at Ranma with the same examination, s/he is no longer just an angsty teenage boy bitching about hormones and a problematic love-life, s/he's a clever mirror shown to the face of 1980s Japan's views and expectations of their youth growing into a society that has specific demands of them as they grow to maturity and realize that maybe they aren't going to fit neatly into the boxes of 'boy/man' and 'girl/woman'.

This makes, IMHO, Ranma at least NB. By the end of the manga they're flat out stating that 'the cure doesn't matter' and they 'were only doing it for Akane.'

(I've written about anime-Ranma being a transwoman thanks entirely to THAT episode elsewhere, so I won't expound on that here.)

Even in the USA we didn't have the proper words and framework for actual trans people to describe their experience well and properly that we have today. Even today's tools for communicating our experience are evolving at a frantic rate and no one trans person is ever going to be up-to-date because it's a RAPIDLY shifting lexical body.

So why in the world would we expect a 1980s Ranma to have the right words to say, "I'm enby" or "I'm trans"?

Which brings me back to my point; the reboot has a fine line to ride. If they don't ride that with the care of an Olympic's-quality snowboarder grinding on a five-mile long rail, and I mean staying on that edge and never falling off once, they're gonna fuck this up. On one side, they've got the land of "safe, non-threatening" language where they're going to buff out any hint that Ranma "could be" NB or trans and alienate their entire queer audience. On the other side, they've got the heavily queer-phobic, trans-misogynistic language of the 1980s that only allowed characters like Konatsu to exist as an extreme form of transvestite and they're only there for the lulz...and alienate their entire queer audience.

They have a shot to do this right, and if they thread that particular needle it will be as epic as The Battle of Phoenix Mountain and Mt. Horai all in one.

If they biff it, it'll be as tragic as Ranma's attempts at kissing Akane during the Shakespeare play.

The problem with debating whether a character from a twenty or thirty year old video game is "really" trans or merely a cross-dresser is that mainstream video games from the 1990s and 2000s just plain didn't care about the difference, for the most part.

Basically all gender-nonconforming characters in video games of that era are treated as jokes to some extent, and their gender from moment to moment is whatever it needs to be to make the joke land. Can you cite textual evidence that they're trans? Yes, absolutely. Can you cite textual evidence that they just like to play dress-up? Also yes. The writers typically weren't distinguishing the one from the other, and many of them probably didn't even understand that there existed any distinction to make.

Sure, the source texts are of historical interest, but pedantic textual originalism in itself isn't terribly interesting because you can usually twist it around to support any conclusion you want. A better question is what our motivation is for favouring a particular conclusion – and there just aren't a lot of ways to make favouring the funny-man-in-a-dress reading into a good look!

[hersheythecure]

I almost lost today.

988

Called them and they sent a live counselor out to me. I went to a pace I feel safe and that's a Cafe. They met me there.

It was so hard. Getting to that point. I haven't had suicidal ideations In a while. But this is the season that they show up. Especially with everything we have going on.

I was so scared. I have to fight Frantic who's tye trauma holder for everyone. She feels like all the trauma in our nervous system and each separate part is an extension of her. The visual is insane in my mind. They're all hurting. But one thing for sure when she sends me that it's because we need help that is nowhere in our vicinity. It's when my brain realizes if we don't reach out we're going to take our life. She's combating the trauma alters who's adolescent outlet is death.

We literally have Noone. Lmaooo

All the questions. Were. No. Who can change your tire or take you somewhere? No one.

Who can you call? No one

Who can you ask for money from ? No one

Is there anyone here that you can ask for help? Nope

Any relatives? 2.5 hrs away so nope

I literally said roadside assistance is who I'd have rk call. Atleast I can afford that right?

If I was broke I'd be dead as fuck. Thank you brain for securing our Financials.

It's sad that if you're broke youre just dead. Buttttt 988. Please no matter how broke you are reach out. It's free. Verify. If you need them to email you that it's free have them do that. They sent two ladies out to meet me. Get my history and provide support as well as resources. Ones the VA doesn't even have or give. Smh.

I explained my symptoms and what I need. What is happening in my life. And where the stressor are.

My mom is not the person to call when I'm suicidal due to the inexperience with mental illnesses and disorders. But she's the only one that answered which I'm still so fortunate that she did. Almost took me out though. She made me feel like everything I did was wrong in relation to coparenting. Even when my social worker said otherwise. It sucks I can't count on my family for the advice i need because they don't have the info to respond In a supportive way. It suckssssss. I realized that my family was causing conflict in my mind. They have such a power over my mind because they are my ONLY support. The pull is strong. On my parts. But something the counselor said helped. Isolating yourself and cutting yourself off like Caribbean and black people encourage is actually the opposite and causes more harm. You cannot heal in isolation. And now I have to just he by myself mentally. I can only get support on a level I don't need it. I can't be myself or explain my pain because I can't pray this away. Wtffff. I just want healthy balck and Caribbean people who've dealt with their mental health and can give me advice. Damn. But that's not many per what? White supremacy.

And I'm glad the white counselor stated the disparities between black communities and mental health.

I am so exhausted. So exhausted. But so glad they sent someone to help me. Too much emotional stress. And no support. Online is nice when I'm not in distress. But like a bitch need a hug and I git no one. I remember when I was religious and I'd beg God to come down and hug me. To take this pain away and you know what, he didn't. And here I am feeling the same without believing in any God. Definitely shows me it's all just fluff. Words.

I am alive.

I am hoping to get some emdr. It'll help manage the symptom that is dissociation.

Im not dying.

I always go and check myself in if it feels like my body is being hijacked to suicide. It's happened before. But I'm better at detecting since having my son. He really saved my life.

[sleepy-shutin]

8, 19, 25?

8. Do you have a(ny) fictional introject(s)? What is that like for you?

not any true fictional introjects, no, not to my knowledge. most of them are just fragments or loose splits that latched onto the identities of various fictional characters, and don't have a super strong attachment to source. some do have pseudomemories, i think.

i think one of the only true introjects we have is the abuser introject of our mother, who doesn't seem to front often or really interact with the main system right now.

19. How do you experience gender?

with great difficulty.

25. What is a piece of misinformation about DID/OSDD do you want to clear up?

just one?

putting it under a cut because this got long, lmao.

i'm gonna be honest, if you think you have 100+ alters at, like, 15 after only knowing about your system for a few months, and especially if your only reading into DID info has been carrds and twitter threads, you don't have 100+ alters. i hate to break it to you but you're probably making the same mistake i did at 15 and getting what is and isn't an alter very confused, and accidentally inflating your alter count.

this isn't fakeclaiming, this isn't an attack, nor am i saying this with anyone in particular on my mind, this is just genuine advice that i think the younger parts of the DID community really need to take to heart; please be careful when trying to figure out if you have new alters. don't speedrun it, take it slow. i know a lot of the community may make you feel like you have to know everyone in your system within a few months and have perfect communication, and while that may be the reality for some people, that tends to be, more often than not, the reality of people in DID therapy and/or out of their traumatic/abusive home environments, and not kids without dissociative specialists who are still living in shitty homes.

please, for the love of god, take it from someone who made these exact mistakes due to misinformation in the DID community: read some books about DID, learn the differences between alters and daydreams, kin-related feelings about fictional characters and mood swings, and stop thinking that you have to split at every minor stress, because you don't and you won't. do this and you might realize that you don't split as often as you think you do.

because the thing that many teenagers with DID fail to take into account is the entire teenage puberty thing. mood swings, hormones, trying to figure out your identity in the world, experimenting with phases of interests and aesthetics, becoming sexually active (in most/many cases), realizing romantic/sexual feelings, realizing that you've been treated badly/unfairly in the past, especially by parents, etc. all of these things related to teenage years can make finding out whats an alter and what isn't, *especially* when you add maladaptive daydreaming on top of that, where some things can feel very real or affect you very hard, and might seem out of your control, so many might just assume that it's an alter when it isn't.

especially with the way social media works, many younger people just tend to take whatever they see online as pure fact without looking into it, especially if it's presented in a semi-professional and confident fashion, which is a HUGE weakness in younger parts of the DID community. many assume that just because a person with DID said it could happen, that it's definitely true and never misinterpreted symptoms or even that the person in question could be lying on purpose. having DID doesn't make you an expert on DID, it makes you an expert on your own experiences with DID, and you can't speak for *anyone's* experiences except for your own. even then, you have to be willing to understand that you may be interpreting parts of your disorder incorrectly, especially when other disorders are involved that may cloud your symptoms somewhat.

i am desperately begging younger parts of the DID community to do some actual reading into the disorder that's more than just tiktoks, twitter threads and carrds without sources. please figure out how the disorder works, how it's actually formed, and make sure what you're saying about the disorder is as accurate as possible. i will even find a way to hand you any DID-related book you want *for free* if you're actually serious about doing the research.

i'm just so tired of misinformation in the DID community being spread by people claiming to have 250+ alters after knowing about their system for 6 months or less and having done no substantial reading into the disorder. if you don't know something about the disorder, if you realize that you are limited in your understanding of it because you haven't read primary, scientific sources on the subject of DID, then it is completely okay to say that and refer a person's questions to someone else who *has* done the hard reading. it is okay to say "i don't know" and have someone else answer the question, you do not have to be a walking encyclopedia of knowledge about DID, and thinking that you do or that you are an expert just because you have DID does a whole hell of a lot more harm than good.

[morgansystem]

Head count

So we're still not 100% sure who everyone is yet, and most of us don't have individual names, but I think Tumblr lets people edit posts now so we'll edit this as we go!

First, here's a post with all of our art/creative blogs:

See who's currently fronting here (may be incorrect if I've been offline for a while)

Now onto who's who!

Morgan

Role: host (I think? not sure if the original)

Age: 21

Pronouns: e/em/er / he as a backup

Interests: art, Magic: the Gathering, TTRPGs (mostly 5e DND and Lancer)

Note: "Morgan" is the system's middle name, that we went by for a while after coming out as trans but before picking a new name (long before realizing we're plural). Also, some of us will refer to em as he or even she when talking about our past. E.g. when talking about six-year-old Morgan, we might say she. No one outside of the system except for our partner (who hasn't even used this privilege even though they know they have it) may ever refer to Morgan as "she," and "he" is just kind of okay. E prefers "e."

Raphael

Role: Posier / assidumate / fronts when doing schoolwork etc that's related to science or math and at the doctor

Age: big

Pronouns: he/him

Interests: Biology (especially genetics), AI to a lesser degree, physics to a lesser degree

Note: "Raphael" is also the system's legal name and the name we all go by in some situations, but since he's the one there in most situations that we go by that name (e.g. most doctor's appointments), we figured he might as well take it for distinguishing b/w headmates

Alex

Role: Dysphoria protector (fronts a lot during periods) / fronts when doing schoolwork etc that's related to filmography (although for that I think it's just bc they like it)

Age: big (but like a young big?)

Pronouns: they/she

Interests: Filmography/directing/camerawork, television, acting

Megan

Role: Sexual alter / Sexual protector

Age: middle? (which, yikes)

Pronouns: she/they? (I'll try to get her to update this when she's fronting but uh I don't think she'll be going on Tumblr much)

Interests: Unknown

Note: Megan hasn't fronted in a while, so I'm not entirely sure if she's even okay with the name Megan. I refer to her as such because when Morgan/Raph were in high school (and completely unaware that we're a system) Morgan drew a little comic about the people who make up our "personality (singular)" (yk, plegg shit) and he had a character named "Megan" that was partially based on Megan.

Michelle

Role: Perpetrator / persecutor / enforcer

Pronouns: she/her

Age: adult

Interests: Unknown

Note: This one is a factive of my first abuser. She only fronts with very specific triggers (although she has the role of enforcer in our head like all the time) and I don't think she cares enough about her source's identity that she cares what name we use for her--in the moments that she's there, there isn't really enough time or calm to discuss names. We don't want to call her by the source's name because the source is still in our life. Michelle is a placeholder name, and we'll change it if she says she doesn't like it, but we were looking at a list and it just felt right, and since she can give us intrusive thoughts I feel like she would've protested if she hated it.

Max

Role: Beauheur

Pronouns: he/him

Age: little (8-9?)

Interests: animals and Minecraft

Fun fact: Max was the first to realize that there's a cat in here somewhere and he's very distressed that he can't pet it.

Other relevant info:

We are a traumagenic system (with some potentially fixagenic or neurogenic alters), but support systems of all origins. We try not to start discourse on this blog, but may occasionally vent about how hard it is to find inclusive spaces with a lot of traumagenic members. We have mixed (mostly shared) knowledge--most of us share most of our knowledge, but some knowledge, mostly just specific advanced knowledge that won't be required in all of our lives, is restricted. Most restricted knowledge can trigger a switch, though (eg Raphael comes out if we're taking a bio test), so it doesn't hurt much. Our memory is also mixed, but we also have poor recall in general. We don't have a headspace per se, but we'd like one.

[fierceawakening]

II'm not @mindthelspace but

I don't think the idea that some categories can be moved into or out of implies that anyone chooses their oppression. Oppressors are the people who choose to mistreat others. Oppressed people do not go "Oh whee I think I'll let people treat me badly!" Similarly, if there exists a trans woman who wants to change her body or social role specifically because she enjoys people being misogynistic toward her... I've never met her, and I have several friends who are trans women. That's not what's going on. (Which is part of what animates my OP--people seem so convinced of "what the transcult is like," but don't appear to have ever had more than a cursory conversation with a trans person, and definitely not the kind of personal or intimate one that would lead someone to disclose what transitioning means to them personally.)

That documentary is interesting. Dies it give detailed study results? I ask because the only study results I have ever seen have said that at least for transition related surgeries, the regret rate is far lower than for other surgeries. It seems odd that both those things would be true at once, so I'm curious what the differences in methodology might have been.

Again, I can't speak for mindthel, but I'm not sure saying a detransitioner wasn't really trans is no true scotsmaning. Because "no one is really trans" is exactly what some detransitioners are saying. "There is no such thing as transness; it is a lie. Therefore I was not trans and neither are you." Which is I think the thing mind and I are disagreeing with--that just because Person A decides "trans was a word I thought described my experience but I was disastrously mistaken," this does not mean that Person B will ultimately decide the same thing.

I'm probably tilting at windmills here, but what exactly is it that makes you think transness is about gender stereotypes? If we want to change sex (yes, I know you argue we can't!) why is that about stereotypes? In an ideal world I'd have a penis so as not to fumble with straps, not because I'm unfeminine. (I'm also unfeminine, but those things are not necessarily related. I'm baffled at the way terfs constantly insist they are related, while at the same time insisting that they, not us, are the people unshackled by gender roles.)

The point about how some people have gender identities and some don't is confusing to me, because... that's what the trans side thinks? That if someone tells us they have a gender identity, we should respect that, and if they tell us they don't, we should respect that too. Sex is a loose grouping of physical characteristics which can be altered to varying degrees by surgical and hormonal treatments (which is where terfs get "you can't change sex" and trans people get "yes you can"--it's a disagreement about how much alteration has to happen to validly "count"); gender is a social role. Some social roles are hard to move in and out of, but very few are completely impossible. Why insist, in particular, that men and women shouldn't try, when a minority of people have been moving in and out of those social roles since time immemorial?

Weird question of the day: so what is terfs’ actual endgame?

Like I know the middle game is “everyone identifies with their assigned sex and no one modifies their body in ways that alter secondary sex characteristics.” But then what?

They say they’re feminists, so that would imply the actual endgame isn’t just “the destruction of the transcult” but the end of patriarchy.

But how is everyone identifying with their asab and not modifying their body supposed to do that?

It’s very Underpants Gnomes.

Recruit trans people who doubt.

Destroy the transcult!

…..

End patriarchy!

?????