#I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS ENDING AND NOT ONE OF THOSE IS GOOD

[cressidagrey]

Stars all aligned - Chapter 2

Summary:

If there was one thing that both Azriel and Zahra Archeron had in common, it was that they were both very good at blending into the background.

They just never thought that their family were going to be the ones who never saw them at all.

Warning:

Bashing of like...every IC member? I think Rhys gets the worst though, kinda depression?, isolation, Cassian is an idiot, slut-shaming?, discussion of SA

(Lovely dividers thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics)

Azriel kept showing up. 

And Zahra kept letting him in. 

She had no fucking clue what possessed her. 

And yet every time Azriel showed up at her doorstep…she let him in without protest. 

He always brought food or he cooked. Always something to eat. And he always stayed until she had consumed an entire serving in front of her. 

She should tell him to stop. She should tell him to leave her alone.

But Zahra never said a word. 

Zahra couldn’t manage that. 

It wasn’t like she had had many private conversations with Azriel before. And she did get t to see a side of him that…she never seen before. The kind, gentle side with a biting sense of humour. She could be as bitter and cutting with him as she wanted to be and he gave back just as sharply…but it never got personal. They never hurt each other.

And she got to know him. Not the spymaster, not Rhysand’s most trusted spy….but Azriel. The male. Not the Illyrian warrior, not the fae…but just him. as a person. Azriel who loved good food and good books. Azriel who smiled and who was gentle and kind…and coaxed mice back outside with never-ending patience. 

It was strange, how easy it was to talk to him. How easy and relaxed it felt to spend time with him. How natural it was that he was there. 

As if it had always been the two of them cooking together. 

She shouldn’t get too used to it. It wasn’t going to last. Zahra knew it wouldn’t. But she allowed herself to bask in it. Just for a little bit longer. 

Bask in the feeling of…having at least one person in this new life that…dare she say it? Was like a friend to her.

A friend. When was the last time she had had one of those? 

She didn’t want to think about that.

Just like she didn’t want to think about it, when Azriel started showing up earlier, reports in hand and joined her in working at the rickety old kitchen table.

Zahra worked on the ledgers, sorting through the numbers. And he sat right across from her, reading through his reports, quietly sipping his tea. 

(He had brought better tea with him.)

Zahra had thought that he would annoy her… but they were utterly content with ignoring each other for hours at a time. No need for words or unnecessary conversation. Just the comfortable silence of each other’s presence. It was oddly…pleasant. 

And somehow his presence…it lit something inside her. When she dropped off the account ledgers the next time, she made a quick detour to a cheap antique store just a few doors down.

Zahra browsed through the shelves on the inside. 

It was a tiny shop, filled up to the brim with old stuff and odd trinkets from the past. And then she found something that made her pause. 

An absolutely ugly, oversized armchair with the most horrible plaid pattern…but it looked like it was made for wings. The one chair in her kitchen worked for Azriel because the back was narrow enough to slot through the middle of his wings, while the one she preferred wouldn’t have worked in a million years…but the couch she had…that was another story. No way that couch was comfortable for him. 

But this armchair….

It was perfect, if you were willing to overlook the absolutely hideous pattern. But Zahra kind of grew to like it with each second that passed. So she pulled on her best haggling skills and bought that monstrosity. 

And then Zahra had the seething hot realisation that she needed to get it home somehow. She felt a tug at the hem of her skirt and stared down to find a tendril of shadows tugging at her.

One of Azriel’s. She just knew it.

The same shadows that liked prowling through her rooms and pruning the sad basil plant on her windowsill… She was also quite sure that they had started to oil the hinges on her door, but she hadn’t yet caught them in the act.

“You don’t to be able to bring that home for me, do you?” She asked them drily. The shadows coiled in a way that made her assume that they were laughing at her. Or at least having fun. It was honestly hard to tell. But another tendril popped into existence as if to say ‚Yes, I can do that!‘ 

A moment later, the chair had disappeared.

Zahra just hoped it actually had been Azriel’s shadows and not another bunch that liked stealing stuff. The thought that she had just given a chair away to some random shadows for free was a slightly concerning one. Oh well. Hopefully, it would arrive at her house soon enough and not at some random place. She had just paid for a pretty decent sum of money for that monstrosity after all. 

She bought other stuff too. Like actual spices, so Azriel wouldn't need to keep bringing all of that with him every time...another couple of plates...A blanket for the living room...

She didn’t even know what possessed her to do that. It was like something inside of her just…woke back up again. She had been dead in more ways than one. But Azriel was slowly coaxing her back to life. 

She felt more alive than she’d done in a long time. She could actually feel her heart beating. Her blood rushing in her veins. She could…feel again. And it was such an odd sensation. 

To her surprise, the armchair stood in the middle of her living room when Zahra arrived home.

A little shadow wrapped itself around her wrist as she gaped at the monstrosity sitting in her living room. The shadow seemed proud of itself.

"Thank you," Zara said politely and the shadow ruffled up as it preened. It was honestly kind of cute. And it was odd to see it like this. A small little bit of…personality. So different from what she’d always thought the shadows would be like. 

Then the shadow disappeared again and she was left with…the armchair. Which was now placed right in the middle of her living room.

Damn it. She forgot about how absolutely ugly it was. 

But oh well. It fit right in with some of the flaking of paint in the rest of her house...and the rotting floorboards in one corner.

At least that armchair was comfortable. She had to admit it. There was something oddly charming about that ugly old chair. 

She sighed, ignoring the chair for the moment as she organised her spices in the kitchen and then went back to work.

Azriel showed up in the evening that day, blinking twice at the chair.

“Where’d you get that eyesore?” he simply asked in greeting. 

"Antique shop," Zahra gave back drily. "And I bought it for your wings, thank you very much."

That made him blink in surprise. "For my wings?" he echoed and his eyebrows shot up.  "You bought an armchair for me?" 

There was something about the absolute surprise in his voice that made her want to laugh. "Yes, I did, Shadowsinger," she confirmed. "And just for you, I will ignore that horrendous plaid pattern that is covering every inch of that hideous thing." 

His lips curved into a smile, something like fond amusement playing in his eyes. "What a kind thing of you," he returned with equal amounts of dryness. "To give me such a wonderful eyesore to keep my wings company." 

He dropped down into the chair and she had to admit that it was perfect for his wings. They slotted through the gap in the back and seat without problem and he looked like he melted into the cushions. 

"It may be the ugliest thing I have ever seen, but it is the most comfortable too," he admitted with a sigh.

A small smirk edged up her lips. "I know," she simply said. "So you are stuck with it now. Consider it as a present for all the food that you give me." 

He snorted in amusement.

His head dropped back and he looked up at her, his hazel eyes glinting in the dim light. His wings were flared all over the back of that chair and she couldn’t help but notice how damn huge they were. 

He was big. She knew he was, of course, but it was easy to forget when she saw him next to Cassian. But Azriel was broad and muscular all on his own…and his wings flared all over her living room really emphasised it. 

And for some damn reason, she had the sudden mental image of his wings wrapped around her. The thought was absolutely ludicrous and completely inappropriate. 

She firmly squashed the mental image and instead just focused on the fact that Azriel was still looking at her through half-lidded eyes. There was an amused, almost fond smirk on his lips. 

"Where do I get paint from?" she blurted out.

That made his eyebrows raise. "Paint? Why do you need paint?" he inquired as he sat forward and his wings folded back against his body. 

"I should probably do something against the flaking-off paint around here," she admitted with a shrug.

He pursed his lips in thought. “And I assume you’ll try to do this all by yourself.” That wasn’t a question. He sounded pretty damn certain what her answer would be. 

"Have you talked to your landlord?" he asked her. "Are you allowed to do that? I mean, whoever it is is probably going to be happy that you do something...to stop this whole house from falling apart, but still.” 

She rolled her eyes at him. "You know, this house is mine," she gave back drily. "I can do whatever I want with it."

Azriel’s brows shot up at that, an amused surprise in his eyes. “You own this place?” he echoed, clearly not having expected that. 

"I won it in a game of cards," she admitted drily. "The guy I won it from inherited it and wanted to get rid of it. Nobody wants it because it's out of the way, but I like it."

Her one and only time in a tavern had left her with the house. She should probably consider that beginner’s luck. 

“You won it in a game of cards…?” he repeated again, a note of genuine surprise in his voice. “Are you joking?” 

Her lips curled into a smirk. “Nope,” she said with great amusement. “Nine men's morris to be exact. The idiot lost it fair and square.” 

He was looking at her in a sort of disbelief, yet there was something like respect in his eyes. “Remind me never to play cards with you,” he said drily. 

She just shrugged. "It was just once," Zahra said with a sigh. "I went to one of the taverns...decided to get utterly wasted," she snorted. "I don't think becoming an alcoholic is for me, because I spent 3 days afterwards throwing up."

“The hangover must’ve been brutal,” Azriel commented dryly. "So you won a house in a game of cards."

She just gave a nod. “Pretty much, as ridiculous as it sounds. I do think it needs some paint though."

Azriel just snorted. "I think it needs more than paint," he said drily. "It probably needs to be demolished and built up again."

“It’s not that bad,” she protested, but even to her, that sounded weak. The place was a dump. It was a literal dump. "It has character," Zahra said, her resolve growing. "Just because it's a little broken, doesn't make it garbage," she whispered.

There was something sad in her voice and Azriel just looked at her, a certain quiet understanding in his eyes. And she cursed him inwardly, because he saw too much. 

He always saw too much. Saw through her defences and the walls that she’d built up. 

"You are right," he agreed. "It's a little bit broken. But I am sure can be fixed."

A sharp pang flared up in her chest at his words, as if that gentle acceptance and quiet understanding from him hurt. She pushed it down, refusing to examine the feeling too closely. 

"And there a few different shops in Velaris that sell...paint...and other...things to...improve a house."

"You mean to stop it from falling down onto my head?" she asked him wryly

“Exactly,” he responded with an amused smile as he folded his wings again. “And stop the drafty windows from letting in a constant, cold breeze.” 

Damn it…she had been hoping he hadn’t noticed that. But of course, he had, because he was observant. Far too observant. 

“And you know, maybe put in a proper lock at the door,” he continued drily. “And fix the leaking tap in the bathroom…”

Zahra rolled her eyes at that. “I like that dripping sound, it’s very melodic,” she said with sarcasm drizzling from her voice. 

It made him chuckle lowly. The shadows around him rippled and coiled in response to their master’s amusement.  “You have a strange concept of melodious sound, if you find dripping water to be in any way pleasing,” he told her drily. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, should I be swooning over the sound of a harp or the violin?” she rebutted with a sharp little snort. 

“Not necessarily,” Azriel replied with an amused smirk. “Any other sound would be better than that constant drip…Though I have been known to enjoy the symphony on occasion," he admitted to her. "Or even some of the taverns."

A snort of laughter left her lips at that, despite herself. “I can’t imagine you in a tavern,” she told him honestly. 

He shot her a dry look at that. “Why not?” he asked, raising a single eyebrow at her. 

“It just doesn’t fit,” she gave back bluntly. “You in your leathers, standing in the middle of rowdy drunks. Just seems so odd.” 

He rolled his eyes at that. “I know how to dress down,” he rebuked her drily. “And I also know how to blend in.” 

“You’d stick out like a sore thumb, even if you wore absolutely normal clothes,” she retorted. “Your muscles betray you, Shadowsinger.” 

He huffed at that and then leaned back into the armchair, arms folded. “Now you’re just being insulting,” he groused and she snorted. 

“Oh, did your ego get bruised, Shadowsinger? How terrible,” Zahra dead-panned, making him roll his eyes again. 

"Let's just see if I bother making dessert, for you if you continue that," he groused at her. "I got all the makings of caramel pudding."

“What?! No, wait.” She leaned forward, something like panic on her face. “You cannot dangle that in front of me and then not give in! I even bought you an armchair!" she told him, making him snort.

“It’s a hideous armchair,” he pointed out with a smirk on his lips. “You really think it’s a gift?” 

“Hey! You agreed that it was comfortable,” she protested. “And you can’t deny that your wings like it too.” 

He snorted as he stood up and walked into her kitchen.

She did get caramel pudding in the end. Of course, she did. Even Azriel wasn’t immune to some good old puppy eyes. 

***

Zahra bought him a chair. He wasn't quite sure what to do with that knowledge. 

The fact that she had thought of him enough to buy one for him…it was something he was still trying to process in his mind. 

With the idea that she had spent her own money not on something to make herself uncomfortable...with the fact that her own bed was a mattress on the floor...but she had made sure that the next major piece of furniture she bought hadn't been a proper bed...but instead an armchair for him.

The fact that she had deliberately put his comfort above her own…yeah, he still didn’t know what to do with that information. 

He also didn't know what to do with the information that he actually...he actually really liked her.

Maybe it had been there since the beginning and he just hadn’t noticed it. But the more time he spent with her, more she made him laugh or argue or just…talk. The more he started to like her and appreciate her company. 

She was quick-witted and smart...and so quick to bloom if anybody paid her any attention. And when it was just the two of them at her house...well, then it was...it was so easy. So comfortable.

He forgot to remember to make sure to not give her any reason to be scared of him because she never was. She didn't even blink twice if he came home with the carcass of a deer slung over his shoulder, only cleaned off the table so that she could help strip it.

She asked questions about what he was doing and genuinely seemed interested. Never judged or looked at him weirdly, because she just seemed to get it. Just took him being the spymaster in stride, because that was who he was. Accepted it almost like she accepted his shadows.

He didn't think he would even need to hide the blood that coated his hands, because Zahra didn't seem to care one way or another.

She didn’t even ask him where he had been during the day or what he did. She just accepted the blood and dirt that came with it. 

And quite frankly…if he did his work at her dining table or locked into his room at the House of Wind…who cared?

That dilapidated cottage at least had better company than his own brooding one.

And it never felt felt he was intruding on Zahra when she used him as free labour for whatever redecorating she was doing that day.

They replaced the floorboards…he helped paint the door…

In fact, he was willingly going to her house every night, like it was the most normal thing in the world to do. It probably wasn’t, but he didn’t care. Every evening, when Azriel was done with his duties, he simply dropped into her house. 

They cooked together. Illyrian recipes that he knew…then some that he didn’t know that he had asked his mother for, who had answered into a sprawling letter…recipes that Zahra knew from her human years…and then he brought a cookbook from the library in the House Of Wind and they did that too.

The one thing the two of them did agree on though, was that no dinner was complete without dessert.

They both had a horrible sweet tooth.

Unspokenly, Zahra was the one who lit the fire of the fireplace and the oven…who put food in the oven and pulled it out again.

Zahra didn’t say a word about it. She just did it.

He didn’t even think about who was doing what if he was being honest. He just enjoyed having a shared dinner and the easy conversations that were taking place. It became as routine as breathing, just being in her house and spending the evening with her. 

He tended to linger too. Kept staying with her. So that he doesn’t need to return to the House of Wind, try and fail to sleep and listen to Cassian’s and Nesta's enthusiastic lovemaking.

That was why he stayed. He really needed to avoid the lovebirds at all costs, because they were…just too damn loud. It would have been funny if it wasn’t so damn annoying. 

“If you want and ruin your back on my couch, be my guest,” Zahra said one evening and he froze, staring at her.

She had gained some weight. It looked good on her. No longer a back of skin and bones as she had been, but her cheeks were fuller, Her clothing filled out more.

His gaze briefly flicked up to the couch and the frown on his face grew. “Honestly, that thing is probably the worst place to sleep,” he muttered. “But…I think I prefer it over listening to my brother and his mate going at it.” 

“Nice,” Zahra said with a snort, seemingly unbothered by the comment. “Seems like they know what it means to respect your need for sleep.”

Azriel snorted at that too. “Not quite,” he retorted with dry amusement. “They just don’t care.” It was the damn truth. Cassian and Nesta didn’t even bother putting up any kind of noise-mutting spell to spare his already poor sleep. 

Still…if he stayed there…” Aren’t you worried that I…” he trailed off.

“What? Ravish me?” Zahra drawled. “You had every chance at it for weeks and you haven’t touched me. So no, not really, Azriel.”

“I simply don't want to overstep my boundaries,” he found himself saying quietly. "I wouldn’t force myself on you," he continued with a quiet severity in his voice. "Not ever." I am not a brute," he added firmly. 

“Oh trust me, I don’t think you're a brute,” Zahra told him dryly. “If you wanted to force yourself on me, then you would have done it weeks ago.” 

He nearly flinched at the matter-of-fact way she said that. 

“I would never do that,” he choked out. 

“You are a good man,” Zara said quietly.

Something in his chest flared at that. A mix of shame and guilt, because he was so far away from being a good man. “I don’t want to give you any reason to fear me,” he said quietly, the words tumbling out of him before he could even stop them. 

Her expression softened at that and he held his breath. His shadows coiled, as if they were holding their inhale as well, waiting for her response. 

“It’s funny…” she began quietly and he had to forcibly keep himself from leaning in. “You have never given me a reason. Never.” He blinked at that, a small sense of surprise flaring up in his chest. 

“I…have never once been scared of you,” she told him bluntly and he stared at her incredulously. Because how could she ever say that? How could anyone not be scared of the spymaster of the Night Court? The male who was rumoured to be the spawn of nightmares and death? 

“Don’t look so surprised,” she deadpanned at the sight of his undoubtedly shocked face. “Honestly, you’re the biggest softie I’ve ever met.” 

“I am not a softie,” he protested with a sharp frown on his face. “I am a literal Shadowsinger. I am anything but soft.” He told her firmly. 

“Sure…” she said with a sarcastic roll of her eyes, clearly not believing a word he said. “You are a terrifying man for sure, Shadowsinger.” He bristled at her cheeky tone. “That’s why you come over here every night and feed me.”

“I-” he paused, not knowing what to rebut with that statement. It was true. He came over every, single night to share dinner with her, to…just spend time with her. 

Zahra just laughed, patting his cheek and then disappeared into her bedroom. “Good Night!”

Azriel let out a long breath and just shook his head at her retreating back. Sometimes he had no idea what to do with her.

But he also couldn’t resist the smile that tugged on his lips and he moved over to the couch, curling up on it and trying to make himself comfortable as much as possible. 

Even when it was a far cry from a massive bed in the House of Wind…it was the best night of sleep he had in ages.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he fell asleep fairly quickly. And even his shadows seemed to rest easy, coiling around his body and the couch like a cocoon. 

And for the first time in a long time, his dreams weren’t plagued by nightmares. 

He was awake before dawn, stocking up the fireplace and moving silently across the cottage so that Zahra could still sleep a few hours.

And then he winnowed to the House of Wind for a quick breakfast. He was out there preparing the training rings before anybody else.

It also meant that the shadows were happily trembling around him.

Which was good, because he still had a question to ask them.

“How high are the chances that you cheated at cards so that Zahra would get that house?” He asked the shadows drily.

There was a tendril of shadows assigned to each family member. Only so that Azriel would know where they were at every given moment. He never asked the shadows for more, he respected everybody’s privacy as well as he could…but…But this hadn’t let him go for weeks.

No answer.

He hadn’t expected one.

“Of course,” he said with a sigh. “You like her.” It wasn’t a question.

We do! The shadows answered brightly. She treats Master well!

His lips curled up into a slight smirk at that. They were right. She did treat him well. She never treated him like an intimidating male…she just treated him like any other person. With respect. With kindness. 

Teasing him.

He chuckled to himself at the memories of her teasing him, the way they bickered as if that was the most usual thing in the world. 

She isn’t scared of us like the other ones, the shadows whispered softly.

It was clear who they meant with that comment. Elain and Mor both. Zahra seemed to find the shadows more fascinating than anything. Talking to them even sometimes. In response, the shadows doted on her. Happy for once not to be ignored and outright feared.

He hummed his agreement at that. She wasn't scared of them…and they were growing quite fond of her. Which…he wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. 

She’s pretty too, Master, the shadows commented quietly.

Azriel paused in his work at those words. Yes, she was pretty. With her tawny skin and dark brown hair…and green eyes….Her skin seemed to bloom with health. The way her body had filled out, her hips gaining more curves, her face getting softer. 

Though it did surprise him that the shadows made that comment. They had never done something similar about any other female…even females he had bedded.

That was certainly a surprise. He had to pause and think about it for a few moments. The shadows had never made any sort of comment like that on another female. On any female in fact. Yet they thought her pretty. That…was a thought he filed away for later. 

She doesn’t have a mate either…she’s free of…romantic entanglements, the shadows continued quietly. If you wanted her….

He froze at that. “Are you trying to convince me to pursue her?” He spoke out loud to the shadows. 

You like her. She would make you happy, the shadows responded. What’s the harm? 

“There is no harm,” he mumbled to them quietly, his fingers curling tighter around the handle of the spear that he was holding. “Nothing except that she would likely not be interested.” 

And he was done with that. Done with being turned down. Done with never being a choice.

If he just stayed her friend…he got to spend time with her…he got to listen to her laughs and giggles. He got to be treated by her with kindness and respect. Why destroy that?

It would be cruel and selfish to ruin the friendship he had gained by trying to turn that into anything else. She trusted him. She treated him like a person. And he wanted to keep it like that. 

And Zahra deserved better than him still being half hung up over Elain. Her sister.

Though to be quite honest…he had let that go. Elain had chosen Lucien and that was that. Azriel was more pissed off about how Rhysand was treating him than anything.

Though he never showed it, he was quietly furious at how Rhysand was treating him. After he had agreed to back off…he had hoped Rhysand would stop acting like an overprotective mother hen. 

He didn't.

And then Mor's Mating Bond with Emerie had snapped and apparently that meant that Rhys was now waiting for Azriel to have a meltdown.

Which he wasn't going to have, thank you very much.

He could think that how Mor had treated him had been utterly unfair...and he could still wish her nothing but the best.

The only thing that he had wished for had been a single conversation with his friend. But she didn't seem to want to have that and so Azriel hadn't pushed. Maybe it was better that way.

It was better that way, he was sure of that. The…closeness they had once shared was gone. Maybe forever. But he was more or less alright with that.

They could all leave him in peace and he would do the same for them.

He made that calculation without Cassian, who came bounding into the training ring with all the energy that Azriel was never quite sure where his brother got it from.

He had barely even put down his spear that Cassian bounded into the training rings, his face split into a broad grin. It was clear that his…morning activities with Nesta had been enjoyable as usual. 

“There you are,” Cassian said with a boisterous grin, clearly not noticing the rather sour mood that Azriel was in. “You look....surprisingly well rested," Cassian said, cocking his head to the side.

“I slept well,” Azriel answered simply, pointedly avoiding eye contact with his brother. He knew damn well what Cassian was going to be asking. 

“You slept well,” Cassian repeated, drawing out every word and making it clear that he was not going to let that go. “Care to specify where?” He asked point blank and Azriel’s jaw tensed. 

Azriel could not suppress the low growl that came from him at that. He was not in the mood to be teased by his brother. And he was also not in the mood to listen to another innuendo-filled conversation about Cassian and Nesta’s sex life. 

“Not one word about that,” he told his brother firmly and Cassian just laughed. 

“Oh come one.” He drawled. “I have to get my fun somewhere. Everyone else is mated already. I have to bother someone!” 

It wasn't supposed to hurt him. He didn't think so. But it still did. It cut. Sharp and deep.

The words cut deep, much deeper than Azriel would have wanted to admit. His jaw tensed and his hand clenched around the spear so hard that it might have creaked. He knew it was a joke…but it didn’t change the fact that it had stung. 

And Cassian didn't seem to notice that at all. "Come on, give me details!"

“There are no details to be given,” Azriel said simply, his voice carefully neutral. “Just because I am not spending the night and listening to the two of you going at it like rabbits, does not mean I have someone in my bedroom.” The words were harsher than he had intended. 

“Don’t tell me you do it in some grimy back alley with a random wench?” His brother teased him and Azriel’s temper flared. The Shadows curled and snarled around him, his temper snapping. 

“I would thank you for not speaking about females that way, and no I am not ‘doing it in a back alley’”, he retorted with a low growl in his voice.  “You should stop talking before you piss me off,” he warned his brother through gritted teeth.  It took all his willpower to make sure that no shadows lashed out. This was Cassian. His brother. 

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Cassian raised his hands, clearly seeing how his words had affected his brother. “I was only teasing. You can be so damn tense about some things. You need to relax,” he said and Azriel had to resist the very real urge to throttle him. 

[barcaatthemoon]

friend of the bride || lia walti x reader ||

You hook up with Lia at your best friend's wedding.

MINORS DNI, 18+, Smut warning.

You knew about Lia. You had never played against Lia, but you knew all about her. It was your job to know about football, both international and domestic. She hadn't played in the NWSL, but you were a pretty big Arsenal fan even before she had joined up. But even before then, you had heard people in the business talking about the Swiss player.

It made sense that she'd be in the bridal party. Lia was Ana's best friend, and maid of honor. In a way, you thought it was wild that the two of you weren't better acquainted. Obviously you understood Ana being hesitant about introducing the two of you. You were a bit of a womanizer to say the least, even if you had settled down quite a bit since starting your gig as an official NWSL commentator.

"Excuse me, I don't know if we know each other. I'm (Y/n)." You could feel Ana's eyes on you as you approached Lia. There weren't many people that made you nervous, but your best friend's new wife was definitely one of them. The two of you had been teammates years ago whenever Ana played on the Thorns, and maybe, just maybe, you had seen a spark all those years ago.

Nothing had ever come of it, and you were happier because of it. Ana was cool, and she definitely would have hated you whenever you transferred across the country at the end of the year. You weren't a native to New Jersey, but Rutgers had offered you a full ride, so you counted yourself as a bit of a Jersey girl. Sky Blue wasn't perfect by any means, but it was definitely the place that you had wanted to retire playing for.

"I'm Lia, and no, we haven't been properly introduced," she said. She outstretched her hand, and you took the offering. Behind you, you could practically feel Ana attempting to burn holes into the back of your head to deter you. "My friend is watching us."

"If I'm being honest, I don't blame her. She's heard stories of how I can be at weddings." Bashful wasn't something that normally worked well with you, but Lia found the blush cute. It became obvious as she patted the chair in front of her that she knew a bit about you. Ana had to have warned her before either of you arrived in Seattle for the wedding.

"I've heard stories of how you are away from weddings. I get it though, life feels a bit more special with all of this love in the air," Lia said. You thought that she was sweet, and a part of you was about to back out when she grabbed onto your wrist. "I fly out tomorrow afternoon, and I'd hate to leave without as many good memories as I can get."

"She'll kill me if we leave together," you told Lia. She glanced behind you and waved at Ana. You did everything in your power not to turn, but Lia seemed amused by whatever was going on behind you. "Is she being mean?"

"Not at all, but you should say your goodbyes and get your coat. I'm in room 615," Lia told you. She slipped her key card in your pocket, and you wondered how long she had been watching you. Lia left first, leaving you to sit there stunned for a moment. It was hasty, but you said your goodbyes and promised Ana that you'd be safe with her friend. She was a bit dismissive, but you didn't miss the little twinkle in her eye. If you had any more to drink, you would have considered that she was happy about you and Lia running off together.

It seemed almost too good to be true that Lia's room was on the same floor as yours. You made a quick stop at your own room to shed your suit jacket and make sure that you still looked good. Your room was only a few doors down from Lia's, and you wondered if she had seen you at all over the week. The entirety of the wedding party had been flown in several days earlier than all of the other guests, and you doubted the maid of honor had been an exception to that.

"You left your jacket. That's a shame, it looked good. At least I can still do this," Lia said as she grabbed you by your tie and pulled you into the room. You stumbled a little, but caught yourself as Lia's arms wrapped around your shoulders. She was still in her dress, but without her heels on, you were a couple inches taller than her. "You know, I had always hoped you would find your way to the WSL. I would have liked to play against you."

"I bet we could have had a lot of fun together." Lia seemed to catch onto the hidden meaning of your words quickly. You were a bit surprised by her forwardness as she kissed you. It was welcome, as was the feeling of her hands pulling your button out from where it had been tucked into your pants.

The women you hooked up with had all definitely wanted you, but they were rarely as confident in themselves as Lia. She was sweet and gentle, but it wasn't submissive in the slightest. She took what she wanted without overstepping, and it took you several moments for your brain to kick in and join her.

"Take my dress off," Lia told you. You didn't hesitate for even half a second to turn the Swiss woman around. There was a little clasp by the small of her back, and once it was undone, Lia let the dress slip off from her body and pool onto the floor.

You could see that her chest was bare, but that did nothing to prepare you for the sight of her. She stood in front of you completely topless. You weren't being subtle in your staring, but Lia didn't seem to mind it. She let you keep staring as she pushed you back onto the bed. Lia climbed onto your lap, and there she sat straddling you as she looked down at you.

"There are plenty of more comfortable places for you to sit," you started. Lia showed her amusement with a little half-smirk. Normally, your jokes garnered a bit more of a reaction, and the fact that she hadn't given you one made you want to try again. You wanted to impress this woman with every part of you, and you had no idea why. Nobody was supposed to mean this much to you, not for a single night anyway.

"I'm already practically naked on top of you, lines aren't necessary," Lia told you. You nodded and swallowed, somewhat nervous as she stared at you. It was like she was studying you, less out of curosity, but more in the way a predator would study its prey. "You're wearing too much, and I'd hate to ruin your very nice suit."

You nearly let out a whine as Lia moved off of you. You scrambled off of the bed and hastily undressed yourself, not caring that for a moment, you were more bare than she was. Lia hummed in appreciation as you stood in front of her, completely naked. She guided you down onto your knees in front of her and leaned over her own lap to kiss you.

"Show me what you can do. I hope everything I've heard about you is true," Lia said. Even after she broke the kiss, you didn't stop kissing her. Your mouth moved all over her neck and jaw, occasionally stopping to mark a couple of hickeys for her to take as a temporary souvenir. You were a lot less careful with your marking whenever you got to her chest, sucking as many love bites onto her skin as you could.

Lia tried not to rush you, but you could tell that her patience was growing thin. She ground herself against the palm of your hand as you cupped her over her underwear. You let out a pleasured groan at the feeling of her heat through the fabric. You could practically feel her arousal growing as she moved against your hand.

"More, I want more," Lia told you. You took your time teasing her as you took her underwear off. Your face was buried into the side of her thigh when your attention was pulled by a frustrated growl. Lia looked down at you with a look so sweet that you almost got whiplash from the way her hand balled into a fist around your hair.

You let her guide your face, only sticking your tongue out to give her something to seek out. Lia loosened her grip when she felt your lips wrap around her clit. Her thighs clamped around your head, holding you against her as she rocked her hips back and forth gently. You pried her thighs apart to make room for your fingers to tease at her entrance, stroking over the hole with the promise of penetration.

This time, Lia didn't have to ask or tell you to keep going. Once you got into your groove, everything came very naturally to you. Lia was moving wildly on the bed, each buck of her hips punctuated by a little creak of the bed. Between Lia's moaning, the bed creaking, and the absolutely obscene sound of your fingers fucking in and out of her, there wasn't a moment of silence.

"That's it, right there. Don't you dare stop. Oh fuck!" Lia exclaimed. You felt a sharp tug to your hair as her other hand wrapped around the back of your neck. You could feel her nails dig into your skin, but the pain of it just made your eyes roll back in your head a little. Above you, Lia's body held you close even as she tried to squirm away from you, torn between wanting to stop and wanting to see just how hard you could make her cum. Ultimately, she ended up pushing you away just a couple minutes later as her body began to approach overstimulation.

"I think you did a number on me," you muttered as you rubbed at the little nail indents on the back of your neck. Lia sat up on her elbows, just enough to see her reflection in the TV. She looked gorgeous to you, disheleved in the most perfect of ways. There was no denying what had just happened, not when you looked at Lia.

"I can do a lot worse," Lia laughed. You clammed up a bit at her words. You had no idea what was wrong with you because Lia shouldn't have been getting to you this badly. She was practically a stranger, and yet, you didn't want to just gather your clothes and run off to your own room just yet. "If you ever find yourself in London, message me. Now though, I think you should get going. Guests are going to be back any moment now."

"I've never been asked out and kicked out at the same time. You are something else," you said in disbelief. Lia could tell that you weren't angry, and just to keep it that way, she walked you out. A part of you wanted to linger, but aside from a pretty chaste kiss, Lia didn't give you the opportunity. You just had to hope that you'd catch her before she ran off the next day, but even if you didn't, you couldn't be mad about how your night went.

[fuzzythoughtsblog]

I had a fantasy that I went to a best friends sleep over and ended up reading her older sister's diary :

Truth or dare

My friend says to me. I look in her eyes and I know I can't choose truth. She'll will come up with the most vile secert to get out of me.

"Dare !" I spit out in fear

"I dare you to sneak in to my sisters room read her diary and report back. " she says with a smirk.

Fuck me I tell her that , she's so childish. And that were on break from college.

"To bad, you pick dare or are you pussy? " she retorts saying the one thing that would convince me to go.

I'm not scared of her sister. She's only a 6'7 grunge base player who is 3 years older. What there to be scared of? It's not like whenever I'm here she rolls her eyes and slams the door. It's not like she refuses to eat dinner with us. Yeah and she wasn't to scary when she yelled at us after sneaking out to a slutty Halloween party. Fuck she hates me and I'm about to sneak into her room.

I decided to just swallow my fear and go for it besides she's not even home she has a gig.

I creep to the basement where her room is. Slowly the fear begins to still as before I enter her room I see the walls covered in electric guitars. Every color and style I could imagine. I stop to admire all the other equipment she has records, picks, amps and even some Cassettes.

I let out a breathe of relief as open the door to her room and she isn't there. Now all I got to find is that damn book.

I first go to her night stand and begin to peer in. I taking a moment to process what I'm looking a, Lacy lingerie. Upon realizing its contents I quickly shut the drawer. Embarrassed I move on desperate to get this night over with. I look at the bottom drawer and am left starring. Toys so many toys in different shapes and sizes. But what left me shocked wasn't just the various toys. I mean were both adults.

It was the was the paddle. Wooden and bigger that my hand I wondered why she would have something like this. With stupid curiousity I lift it up to examine it. The paddle was in perfect condition, like it had never been used. The thing has hearts cut into it and says in big black bold letters "Scream". I begin to put it back but as I do to other items that it was hiding catch my eye. A pair of metal hand cuffs and a strap harness. I can't help but imagine who she's been using these on. At that thought I quickly put the items back in and close drawer.

If she doesn't hate me, she'll definitely hate me now. I went through her stuff and I hadn't even found the book. I sigh before moving over to the other night stand and open the drawer. This time though jackpot the book was sitting in plain sight. As I pick up the black leather book I curse myself for not looking through this one first.

For a second I hesitate, this is total over step of her boundaries. Besides I could just go back and lie that I read it. I decided that a good idea but as I'm about to put the book back I think about how I could figure out why she hates me. I ponder for a moment but I got to know what I did. I open the book.

It turns out the book is less of a diary and more of a shadow journal. I begin to flip until I find a page about me. The prompt reads " What is your toxic or most obsessive desire? "

Slowly I take in what she writes. "If I had a second alone with my sisters best friend I think I'd devour her. " my eyes stretch wide as I keep reading. "The things I want to do to her body are just ... I want to see her begging and crying under me. I want to punish her for being so damn tempting with those little skirts and short shorts."

I bite my lip but flip through more pages until I see something that mentions me. The prompt "What is a bad financial decisions you've made recently? " I can't help but lean closer while reading. " I was checking in on one of the local sex shops I frequent when I saw a cute little paddle. I couldn't help myself not when I imagine her below me pleading. I imagined pulling her hair and telling her to shut up and asking if she was a good girl. She said "yes daddy" and fuck did that just scratch the right itch in my brain. I told her then she needs to take her punishment like a good girl. Before laying down on her ass while she screamed and cried. Of course I gave my pretty girl kisses after I bit her ass. I have to remind her who she belongs to. And now I want to buy her a collar. "

I'm horrified by what I just read but I couldn't put the book down. I continued on. "What is the most fucked up fantasy you've had recently? " "I imagine her coming to my house and asking for my sister like always but this time I walk her to my sisters room even though she's not home. I lock the door behind her and get really close while she backs up. She looks so cute and she's wearing that tight purple dress she wears. I grab her and begin to kiss her while she pushes me away. I bite her lip and she crys into my mouth while I shove my tongue down her throat. She fights me as I throws her on the bed. But I'm stronger and able to hold her down. She begins to cry as I rip off that stupid fucking dress and kiss down her neck to her perfect tits.

I then slide my hand down to her pretty panties and rub her clit through the lace. She makes a noise and trys to squirm away which cause me to hit her. I tell her to be a good girl and this will all be over soon. She fucking whimpers but stops struggling. I continue to play with her cute clit till she soaks her panties. I whisper "see you want this." Before ripping her panties off of her. And sink a finger in. She's so fucking wet. I slide another finger in and then another. Till I'm three fingers deep. She makes the most beautiful noises while I take her apart on my hand. The more I take her the more wet and docile she becomes. I fuck her like this until she's dripping down her leg and begging me to stop. She pleads so cutely I can't help it. I pull down my pants revealing my biggest strap. Pushing it in while she just lies their limp like a perfect toy. I slam in and out of her taking both her virginities on her best friends bed. By the time I cum she's quivering and her cunt is unrecognizable. I take a picture and drag her to my room leaving her juices on my sisters bed. So the most fucked up fantasy I've ever had is raping my sister's best friend on her bed for hours and its reoccurring. I'd never do it of course I want her to enjoy and consent to it I'm not a monster it's just a fun fantasy. "

I begin to rub my legs together at that last one. I put the book back having had my fill when I see her sister standing right there in the door way causing me to scream.

She looks pissed and close the door and locks it behind her.

"How much did you read? "

"Nothing" I shout frozen to where I stand.

"Bullshit" she says stalking closer

"Just the crush thing and it's okay!" I say as she gets even closer.

"Lier"

"Okay I read the thing about the paddle but that's it!" I wince

She grabs my shoulders and looks at me. A chill run down my back. I flinch.

Squeaking out a "Please, don't!"

She sighs and let's go of me before sitting on the bed.

"You read the fantasy? "

I nodded slowly.

"The rape one. "

I nodded again

She sighs "Fuck, this is not how I wanted you find out! Actually I was hoping you'd never find out! "

She puts her hands on her head.

"Sit down, I'm not going to actually do any of that to you. "

I sit beside her. While she remains still before taking a deep breath in.

"So you read it, why? "

I meekly say "A dare"

"Fuck! It was my sister wasn't it? I'll kill her. "

I stay quite she knows the answer.

She sighs "So what do you want to ask me? And then I'm gonna ask you some questions, okay.

I nod.

" How long?" I ask

She breathes "Since your freshman year, of course I wasn't going to act on it. It's just, I thought I thought of you like another little sister and then I started watching out for you. Which turned into watching you and before I knew it I couldn't look away. "

"Is that why your we're mad at us on Halloween that one year ? "

"Are you kidding me? You were basically wearing lingerie. I mean a skimpy pink bunny suit, I know you were a senior but still what if someone tried something? And on top of all that you guys snuck out! You know I had to hide that from mom and dad so you could stick around. "

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you looked... amazing. Look I don't just like you because of your body, I mean don't get me wrong it's a plus but I also love your laugh. How your the first one to try to help. Even when my sister started doing her project last minute you where there to help. I love the way you melt around animals and your stupid dance. I like you okay. Not just what you have to offer." She says while looking up at me and holding my check.

We're so close. I lean in to close the gap but she pulls away.

"Don't do that, don't give me a pitty kiss! "

I lean forward "I'm not, I just want to try this. "

Our lips finally connect and its like electricity I feel it from my head to the tips of my toes. I shiver we break apart to breathe then begin again. It feels amazing, but not close enough. I crawl closer until I'm sitting on her lap and kiss her while wrapping my arms around her neck. The kiss begins to get more and more dangerous as we go on. Her hand begin to wonder and grip. While I rock into her lap. Soon she breaks the kiss.

"Hey, I don't know if I'm getting mix signals but can I touch you? " she says with her pretty eyes.

I pause for a minute then get a sly idea "Yes, daddy! " I whisper into her ear.

"Fuck " she says before pressing me down to where my back touches her bed. "Who knew you'd be such a damn brat. " she says while kiss down on my neck

I whine as she bites my shoulder. "What's the matter ? You've never been touched like this? "

She lowers her hand down my skirt and begins to rub while I stutter "No, then again no ones touched me. "

She pause "What?"

"You guessed right. "

"Are you sure you want to do this because we don't have to. I can... " I quiet her

"I'm sure , I trust you. In fact I want you to do to me what you wrote about in your little book. Y'know the thing with the paddle. "

"Are you sure that's a little advanced. "

"I'm sure, do you not want to? "

"No I want to, fuck I want to" she says while reaching into the night stand.

"Good, how do you want me, daddy? "

"Fuck your going to be the death of me. Across my lap baby. "

I lay across her lap. And give a wiggle.

"Let's see, how many spanks? Maybe 4 spanks for your 4 years of teasing. Plus 3 for the 3 pages you read. Plus 5 for that slutty fucking costume that had me salivating for weeks. So 12.“

I whine

"Don't whine or I'll make it 15."

I stop.

" That's a good girl. " she says while ruffling my hair.

"Now we're going to use the stop light system, along with a safeword. Do you know how the stop light systems work and have a safeword in mind?"

"Yeah my safeword is rock. And the stop light systems works like red means stop, yellow slow down or change what your doing and green means keep going. "

"Correct, now I'm not going to be upset or disappointed if you safeword or want to stop okay. "

"Okay."

"Good now, count. "

The first hit stings

"One"

The second one burns

"Two"

The third positively aches

"Three"

The rest hurt but for some reason it leaves me feeling dizzy and so good.

"Twelve"

"Good girl are you, okay? "

"Yes."

"Okay how are you, are you okay to continue? "

I nod

"No girl I need a verbal answer what's your color? "

"Green, don't stop I want you to fuck me"

"Fuck, okay baby. " she says before digging in her drawer and strapping into her strap.

I flip around and spread my legs out and put my arms up.

"Wait babygirl, I have to make sure your prepped. " she says as she dips a cloused finger in while I whine

"Fuck baby your soaked. Did my girl like spankings that much? "

I nod

"Poor girls all layed out like a pretty little toy. "

I begin to moan as she adds another finger and begins pumping them in and out with her thumb on my clit. Then she goes fast and pumps in and out harder.

"I know baby it's so much, my fingers are so much for you. " she says while working me harder and harder until fuck... She stops.

"Not yet sweet heart, your gonna cum undone on my cock pretty girl. " she says as she pushes in slowly so slowly.

After bottoming out she waits a minute and I nod. After I nod she thrusts shallow slow thrusts. That feel amazing but leaves me wanting.

After a few minutes of that I grab her shoulders "Daddy, harder!"

"Fuck." She says while rolling her hips.

She lifts my legs up higher to my confusion before slamming in hard. The thrust again and again while I just take it letting her use my body.

"There you go baby. Sorry daddy though you wanted to fucked like a princess. I forgot how much of a slut you are. " she says while still pounding into me

And then she begins to rub my clit. It's so fuck much. Fuck I begin to cry and whine.

"That's it babygirl, cry on daddy's fucking dick" she begins rubbing my clit harder causing me to scream.

"Daddy, I don't want to get pregnant yet. " I say through dazzy tears

"Aww " she says while rubbing and thrust like she was trying to milk more nosies out of me "Don't worry baby you'll look so nice with my kids. "

I feel my body shake and arch and then everything thing goes limp. And my vision goes white. I hear a soft buzzing and for that moment I have no fucking idea what my name is.

"Comeback to me baby" she says my head barley follows her eyes

"Was it good? "

I nod

"Good." She says as she pulls out while I hiss. "It's okay. "

She then lays down beside me and holds me while I begin to come back down.

"You back? "

"Yeah" I say voice horsed

"Okay we'll put cream on you and clean you up later. Okay. "

I nod and cuddle closer

"Okay and baby you can not tell my sister yet. "

[suzukiblu]

Thank-you sentences for derpsheep behind the cut; weird amnesia Timberkon. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“You can recognize their heartbeats?” Bernard asks incredulously–that is a very creepy and invasive thing to recognize about someone, much less be passively listening to, what the fuck–and then frowns. “Wait, got back from where?” 

“Long story,” Superboy mutters. “Alternate realities were involved. It sucked. But I got back here, and it’s supposed to be right, and there’s people I recognize, but there’s . . . different people, too. And no one here recognizes me. And I thought . . .” 

“That you were either totally insane or just stranded in the wrong reality for no discernable reason with no idea how to find the right one?” Bernard assumes. 

“That, yeah,” Superboy says tightly. “Definitely that.” 

“Good news, I guess, if you are insane, it’s a shared delusion, and if you’re in the wrong reality, so am I,” Bernard says. “Because again, I definitely remember you. And Hawaii. And Superman being dead. And like, all that shit in general. Also you kinda died that one time too? There was a statue, I’m pretty sure. Actually I think there were two.” 

Superboy’s smile is tight and humorless, and he digs his fingers into the inside of his wrist. Bernard has no clue how a dude in such severe and obvious distress can look so fucking good about, like . . . literally everything he’s got going on over there. It’s a lot of “everything”, is all. Superboy is a lot no matter what, obviously, but still. Like, extra a lot. Secret bonus levels of a lot. 

A lot. 

“I mean, there used to be,” Superboy says, and the pained smile he’s wearing turns–bitter, kind of. 

Fuck, Bernard feels so bad for this dude. Like so many levels of so bad. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way but I need to google some shit,” he says as he digs his phone out. Tim is clearly taking his sweet-ass time in the bathroom, and since he isn’t actually in there waiting for Superboy, it’s gotta be a Bat thing, which usually gives him a good fifteen or twenty minutes of fuck-around time before Tim makes it back with the weak excuse du jour. Or, like, three and a half weeks, one very memorable and kinda fucking awful time that Bernard had spent wondering if jumping into the timestream was how vigilantes ghosted you. “And maybe check some forums or something.” 

“I don’t think ‘is this weird dude at the boba shop crazy’ is gonna pop up on Bing, man,” Superboy says, still wearing the same bitter smile. Bernard wonders why he didn’t just go to the Justice League and explain himself to them. Like, they’d probably believe him, right? Or at least they wouldn’t instantly not believe him; they’d check things out or whatever. 

Alternately, though: half-Kryptonian full-telekinetic with Lex Luthor’s DNA and Superman’s face who doesn’t even know if he’s crazy or not.  

So like . . . that seems like an awkward conversation to have with Superman, maybe, Bernard allows. Or just fucking agonizing and terrifying and wildly, wildly likely to end in one of those stupid misunderstanding-based super-fights and, like, maybe also getting drop-kicked into the Phantom Zone because said stupid fight would be against Superman and that is, apparently, what Superman usually does with supervillain Kryptonians. And probably Superboy is having some very understandable issues about getting drop-kicked out of reality right now, if that’s a concern he’s had. Which–the Phantom Zone isn’t the same thing as an alternate reality, as far as Bernard’s aware, but also what the fuck does he know about the Phantom Zone? 

Bernard googles, in quick succession: Superman’s death, the Phantom Zone, and Superboy. He gets a ton of articles and photographs and blog posts with absolutely zero trace of Superboy in a single one of them, a lot of contradicting intel about what the hell the Phantom Zone actually is, and also some blurry candid photos of a ten year-old in ripped jeans and an S-shield hoodie that he’s never seen before in his life. 

. . . so that’s weird, yeah, Bernard observes, blinking down at his phone. 

“Huh,” he says, brow furrowing. “Hey, should I know this kid?” 

“Did you literally just google ‘Superboy’?” Superboy asks, which is notably not an answer to Bernard’s question. 

“Obviously, yeah, the entire internet is in my pocket, why would I not do that,” Bernard replies reasonably, still scrolling through random photos of this completely unrecognizable kid. Said kid continues to look like a total fucking stranger and Bernard continues to have zero clue who he is or why he’s wearing the “S”. Another clone, maybe? Like, an even mini-er mini-Super? Bernard can’t see his face all that clearly in any of the pics, still, but he’s at least got Superman’s coloring, it looks like. 

“Because Tim would give you shit about it, probably, I don’t know,” Superboy lies, because he very obviously does know. Probably better than Bernard does himself, come to think of it, which is kind of a weird thought but also, like, an obviously objectively true one. Superboy’s spent a lot more time with Tim than he has, even having been, like . . . unrealitied and all. 

God, that is still so disturbing a concept, too. 

[hugheses]

Transcript Below

[Dan Rosen] So let's get to that interview we had with Jack Hughes. We talked to him at the Player Media Tour in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. Here is our interview with Jack Hughes.

Sean, we're here with the cover star, the cover athlete, one of three cover athletes for EA Sports. You've talked about it. I've read some stuff about it, so I don't want to go too deep into it, but just how cool is that?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, doing it with Quinn and Luke, obviously really special. I think we're the first set of brothers to be on the cover. So I think most NHL guys grew up playing NHL.

So that was definitely a massive honor that, you know, we're lucky to be a part of.

[Shawn Roarke] Have you had fights over the rankings yet? Over your player rankings? Who's got the best one, do you know?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, we know. I think it's in the right order, I'd say, with how last year went. All right.

[Dan Rosen] Do you still play?

[Jack Hughes] I used to when I was in like my third year in the league. I played a lot, honestly, I can't lie.

And then I kind of was like, enough's enough. And I've never been much of a gamer, so. But that one year I played a lot.

[Dan Rosen] So did you play, were you yourself?

[Jack Hughes] No, no, but I did enjoy playing HUT for a while there and grinding that. That was pretty fun. So like that's that's honestly why it's the coolest part, just because, you know, we grew up playing it.

Like that was like coming into the NHL, that was definitely a goal of mine. Like I was like, oh, I would love to be on the cover one day. And then to do it with Quinn and Luke is is even more special.

[Shawn Roarke] This season is going to be special for so many reasons. One, you guys are healthy again. You've added a lot during the offseason.

People are really excited. And you start in Europe.

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, I mean, the Europe part is definitely exciting. I think the last like week or so has been, I think, like a bit a bit off in the whole hockey world, with the Gaudreau thing. So that's obviously sad, but it's a damper on the season a little bit.

But, you know, once we get going, I think we'll be excited to get to Europe and get the year going. So I think we got a good group. I'm looking forward to get going.

[Dan Rosen] Since you brought it up, I did want to ask you. I mean, he had such an impact on a lot of players. Did he have an impact on you?

[Jack Hughes] No, I can't say I was like a massive fan in terms of like watching him play all the time and stuff. But, you know, I think the, you know, American players like to stick together a good amount. I don't know how other countries are, but I feel like with the U.S.A. hockey guys, there's kind of a brotherhood there where, you know, people play with each other at Worlds or All-Star games, whatever it may be. So, you know, I played with him at Worlds, played with him in an All-Star game. And obviously I know a lot of people that were close to him. So just a sad thing for for the whole family.

[Shawn Roarke] One of Johnny's great achievements, among many, was Team North America's leading scorer for that team. You were a little bit behind that. I'm curious what your thoughts were in watching it and what you think the legacy of that team is when you think about all the players that were on that team and how great they all ended up being.

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, I mean, I didn't even know he led that team in points. You know, I remember him from World Juniors when he was overseas and they won gold medal. I think Seth Jones was the captain.

So that was like the first memory I have of watching him play. But yeah, that North American team was pretty crazy. You know, I was I was a young guy then.

I was like 14 or 15. So watching that was pretty, pretty crazy seeing where all those guys are now and that they're all on one team.

[Dan Rosen] Flipping it back to you guys and your team and yourself. I mean, Sean touched on it. I mean, the additions are notable.

Markstrom, Pesci, Dillon, Dougie's back. Dougie Hamilton's back. You're healthy.

I would imagine you're healthy after shoulder surgery. Are you good to go?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, I feel good and excited going into the year, you know, feel feel like my body's in a really good spot. And with how the season went last year, you know, pretty frustrating with, you know, just personally not playing. And, you know, the team really performing not how we were supposed to.

So I think we got to definitely a rejuvenated squad with with new players and new coaching staff and, you know, the guys that were there. We're excited to, you know, get back to where we were two years ago.

[Dan Rosen] Because of the additions, because of the health factor right now and the optimism everybody has going into a season, does it feel for you that this team can make last year just a blip and really what it is is more of what you were two years ago?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, it's I mean, at the end of the day, I think I don't know if it's a blip. I think we we underperformed big time last year. And that's that's on us.

And that's something we're going to have to, you know, remember heading into this year, but it's a learning curve. And we're a group that's going to be hungry going into this year. But like I said, we got a lot of new faces and a new coaching staff.

So a lot of new things going on in New Jersey. So camp will be important. You know, we'll be excited to go for the season.

[Shawn Roarke] You've done Europe once before with so many new players. How important is that trip going to be to bring everybody in and have that bonding experience?

[Jack Hughes] Uh, yeah, it'll be big, you know. I don't know if it'll be like like life or death, but, you know, it'll be good for the guys in the team that, you know, have kids and stuff and all the new guys to kind of get acquainted with the group. And I think we have a really welcoming locker room to start with.

So I don't think it'll be too hard for anyone to fit in. But, you know, for us to go overseas for about a week there and, you know, just be with the guys and just the boys and being able to be a team, that'll be pretty important for us. And I think an exciting time for our whole group.

[Dan Rosen] Obviously, Sheldon Keefe being the new coach, too, very helpful for him getting over there with you guys as well. What have you gotten from him so far? I'm sure you've talked to him a few times.

Like, what's the the vibe you get and the, you know, the conversation's been like?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, I've had a few good talks with him. Haven't spoken to him face to face yet. So looking forward to do that.

But, you know, I watch the Leafs a lot. I watch how they play. And, you know, I'm really looking forward to just picking his brain.

You know, developing a relationship where, you know, I understand what he's doing and he understands the kind of person I am and the player I am. So I'm excited to get that going.

[Shawn Roarke] Last year, obviously, goaltending was one of the issues you've had. Tom addressed it. How important is that going into a season when you know that you have two NHL goaltenders on your roster that have proven what they can do in this league?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, I mean, it's hard to just use the goalies as a scapegoat for last year. I think that was like a minor problem to what we had. You know, we had obviously we dealt with a lot of injuries.

We lost some good pieces. And at the end of the day, we were kind of just a looser group. Not as hard to play against.

And, you know, we gave up too many chances and we just thought we could probably outscore teams, you know. So it worked for us in the past. And last year we got sloppy, I'd say.

So obviously we are good goalies. We're excited for Marky and Allen to be with our group this year. But I think the root of the problem is just how we played as a team.

And hopefully we can clean that up for this year.

[Dan Rosen] So do you want to forget about last season and move on from it? Or does it serve as a useful tool?

[Jack Hughes] I mean, I don't think you can forget about any season, you know. I mean, it's still my fifth year in the league. I'm always going to look back on it and be like, that was an up and down season.

And, you know, our team underperformed. But that should be something that helps us in the future, you know. I think a lot of people expected us to be a playoff team for good after we made the playoffs the one year.

And, you know, we took a step back. But that just means we'll be a hungrier group and, you know, a more focused group going into the season.

[Dan Rosen] Dougie Hamilton's back too. And you didn't have him for really almost the whole season. I mean, it was a long time that he missed.

He plays such a vital role for you guys. The impact that he makes when he's on the ice. I wonder if you could just describe it.

What he does to help you guys with the role that he plays.

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, I mean, we brought in Luke and Nemec who both had great years. And, you know, they're going to be massive parts of our future here. But at the end of the day, Dougie did have 74 points.

So it's hard to replace 22 goals and 74 points or whatever he had. And, you know, he's got that big shot on the back end. And just another threat.

I think if we can go into a game with Luke and Dougie and these guys coming off from the back end, you know, it's pretty dangerous. Just being able to hit these guys late and create chances off the rush. So I think Dougie just adds another layer to our game where we're a little more dangerous.

More offense on the back end where we can kind of not just roll them over as one line. But, you know, we throw Luke over one line and we roll him over. Then we throw Dougie on and then we throw Nemec.

You know, that's pretty good for offensive defensemen. So that'll be pretty good for our group.

[Shawn Roarke] He's such an interesting guy, Dougie Hamilton. Ton of different interests. He did that video when you guys had not your schedule, which he was hilarious.

And I'm curious what he does for your team in the locker room and off the ice.

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, Dougie, I didn't even see that video. I don't even know what you're talking about. But Dougie's a super nice guy.

Really, really nice guy. Honestly, you know, not a bad bone in his body. So he's definitely not the loudest guy or, you know, the best, the biggest leader in the group.

But, you know, I think he's a guy that most guys in the team can go talk to and have a good combo with. And he's a really caring and nice guy. So not having him around was definitely different last year.

And, you know, be nice to him back in the locker room.

[Dan Rosen] All right, the big question. What's Luke's living situation? Is he living with you again?

Or is he getting his own place?

[Jack Hughes] Just under my wing. No, but we're going to live together again.

[Dan Rosen] Yeah.

[Jack Hughes] I don't see why we…

[Dan Rosen] Why not, right?

[Jack Hughes] We wouldn't.

Like, why wouldn't you want to live with your bro?

[Dan Rosen] Yeah. Is he a good roommate?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah, he's good. I mean, he's my brother. It's not like I'm, like, all over him.

Like, I lived with him my whole life. So now he just happens to be way bigger and even messier. But he's a good roommate.

[Shawn Roarke] Well, I was going to say the dynamic changes, right? Without parents around enforcing discipline and everything else. You guys have to do that among yourselves.

[Jack Hughes] Yeah. I mean, I can't say I'm busting him about, you know, things. I'm just letting him do his thing.

So he's doing okay.

[Dan Rosen] He really has come along. What did you see from him last year in terms of his growth and the impact that he made in his first full season and what he can now be?

[Jack Hughes] Yeah. I mean, I think something that's, you know, not spoken about enough is the fact he played all 82 games. You know, that's, in my mind, that's really impressive going from college.

And, you know, I think when kids leave college, they're always talking about how they'll adjust to the pros playing 40 games to go on to play 82. And, you know, Luke played 82 hockey games. And I think that's really impressive.

And then on top of that, you know, he had a good season offensively. He's just going to continue to grow his game. You know, I think he's different than Quinn in terms of he's bigger, he defends better.

And I just think Luke will be a hell of a player. But, you know, I think the product we see at 21 is going to be a lot different than 25. But I think with the way he's trending, we're going to have a hell of a player this season.

And the season's coming ahead, the same thing.

[Shawn Roarke] You talked about doing the EA cover with your two brothers. Did you guys spend any time this summer talking about the Four Nations and the opportunity that sits there in a couple of months to do something very similar and very notable as a family?

[Jack Hughes] Honestly, not really. The three of us live together in our house and we didn't even… I don't think we talked about that once.

You know, I don't know if we really talked about that. But we were definitely excited for Quinn when he got named to that team. And then regarding me and Luke, we just want to put our best foot forward and we'll see where it goes.

[Dan Rosen] I did have one last question for you. We recently talked with Macklin Celebrini. Number one draft pick coming into the league.

Any advice for him?

[Jack Hughes] No, he'll be just okay. You know, he's a really good kid and a really good player. So I honestly haven't tuned into a Sharks game in a long time.

But I'm going to be keeping tabs on Mack for sure.

[Shawn Roarke] I have to ask you one last question too. This is the 20th year that Sidney Crosby is going to be playing in the league. Do you have a favorite Crosby memory?

[Jack Hughes] I think like growing up, I used to… He had a movie when he went in like 2009 when they were in that cup run against the Wings. And it was the year they played the Winter Classic.

So I grew up, me and my brothers, we watched that movie in Miracle on Ice like hundreds of times. It was like, I think it was called Sidney Crosby on the ice and beyond. And probably the Winter Classic shootout goal.

Like that's a classic Sid moment. I'm sure if you're a Canadian, it's got to be his Olympic gold medal. Yeah.

But I hate seeing that. But…

[Shawn Roarke] All three of us hate seeing that. And two of us saw it live and we really hated it.

[Jack Hughes] 20 years is crazy though because he was like Sid the Kid. And now he's like in his 20th year. Like that's pretty crazy.

[Shawn Roarke] Him and Ovi both.

[Jack Hughes] Yeah. Wow.

[Dan Rosen] Yeah. You'll get there one day. Jack, thanks so much, man.

Really appreciate it. All right.

[Jack Hughes] Yep.

[wangmiao]

From being stuck in the snow together in 2016 to filming Tibetan Sea Flower - Nan Pai San Shu's "Obsession" over Zhang Luyi.

Thank you for noticing my tag in the other post about the friendship between ZLY and CMH, and showing some interest. So here we go! I guess besides why Zhang Luyi (ZLY) was picked, there's also the story about how everything started. I find it rather fascinating. DMBJ's author Nan Pai San Shu, aka Xu Lei (XL) told the story a few years ago, but he mentioned it again during a livestream when Tibetan Sea flower (TSF) just started airing. The next three paragraphs are based on XL's livestream and ZLY's interviews.

Back in 2016, on a very snowy day, XL was on his way to The Mystic Nine's filming location, and was stuck on a mountain road. After waiting for a while, he thought he should go and help direct the traffic. When he got out to do it, he surprisingly found another Good Samaritan already doing what he intended to do, and yes, that Good Samaritan was ZLY.

ZLY was on his way to The Mystic Nine's filming location too. It was actually not XL who picked him for the role of Wu Laogou then. He went to guest star in that show because his university classmate Bai Yicong, the producer of the show, asked ZLY to do him a favor and just stop by to have a meeting with everyone.

So that's how XL and ZLY first met in person. Because they got stuck in the snow for a LONG time, they talked a lot about DMBJ, from Wu Laogou to Wu Xie, and even TSF (ZLY already read some of the DMBJ novels at the time, and he finished all of them before shooting TSF). At some point, XL told ZLY that ZLY's vibe reminded him of a very important character of his, which was Wu Xie. ZLY was very moved and thankful. Since they had such a good long talk, they kind of made a promise to each other that they'd work together on a DMBJ project at some point. They also each made a weibo post about meeting each other as the traffic director in the snow.

In 2017, there was actually quite some rumors about ZLY being approached to play Wu Xie in Sha Hai/Tomb of the Sea (this is not to discredit other Wu Xie actors, because it's normal for a production team to approach multiple actors for a role in the casting stage), but since ZLY had several health issues due to being injured during the filming of another show, he really couldn't be a candidate for the role.

But XL never forgot about ZLY. In 2021, rumors came around again about ZLY being approached to play Wu Xie in TSF, and this time, he agreed.

During the airing of TSF, XL did a lot of livestreams and Q&A sections on weibo. There's one post where he said: "From the state in the beginning, the state of being lost, to the Sha Hai!Xie state in the end, the entire progress is shown in TSF. I needed an actor with extremely good acting skills. From TSF!Xie to Sha Hai!Xie, there're many occasions where Wu Xie's soul is in a dark place and he might fall for his obsession. Besides Pangzi being there to pull him back, it also needs Wu Xie's strong faith and goodness, and I think it needed acting skills to show it."

In another comment to a fan's question about the choice of Wu Xie's actor, XL answered: "Maybe it represents a kind of inner demons", which I think the inner demons part can be translated to obsession.

So you can tell, it does seem that XL had this obsession to have ZLY play Wu Xie no matter what. And he never gave up the idea ever since they first met, even though by the time they could finally work together in 2022, ZLY was no longer in the best age range to play TSF!Xie (hence, sometimes you'd notice those annoying filters used to mask wrinkles on his face).

I really haven't watched all of XL's livestreams and interviews, and from the very few ones I've watched, he mentioned where ZLY impressed him. Before the shooting started, ZLY double checked with XL to see if XL wanted him to play Wu Xie as a more straightforward northerner or gentler southerner (this is not to stereotype, but to reflect the cultural and language difference), and XL reassured him to be a southerner since Wu Xie is a from the south of China. ZLY was no stranger to playing a southerner even though he's a northerner himself, as some of his best characters were from south China. This was why he dropped all his natural Beijing accent, and showed a gentler demeanor (eg. Pangzi is a typical northerner, and CMH kept his Beijing accent).

Another thing is when they were shooting the real and fake Wu Xie scene, it was filmed without any special effects or even an extra actor. ZLY played both characters each time with thin air. It impressed XL a lot because it required so much more finesse and precision on the memory, timing, and movement.

Lastly I want to show you ZLY's goodbye message to TSF that was posted on Sep 24th. He's a very dedicated, sincere, and cultured actor that often uses handwritten stuff to say goodbye to shows nowadays. And he wrote what Wu Xie and Pangzi always say to each other, the good luck and good fortune thing: "Da Ji Da Li, Gong Xi Fa Cai"

Another fun fact is that ZLY is very good at calligraphy. He used to assign different fonts to the characters he played based on their characteristics. Because Wu Xie writes in 瘦金体/Shoujin font, ZLY wrote the message also in Shoujin font. I guess you can say that's another similarity between him and Wu Xie, that they can both write in this font (I'm no expert in calligraphy, so I found an article teaching people how to write in Shoujin font. It was definitely not an easy thing to do because it advised people to learn and practice certain fonts in traditional calligraphy for a few years before even going for the Shoujin font).

Thanks for reading! If you like ZLY's Wu Xie, that's awesome. If not, that's OK. It's totally understandable. Please also know that I have zero intention to compare his version of Wu Xie to other Wu Xies. I'm sure each Wu Xie is awesome, unique, and lovable in his own way.

[willowrites]

𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 ✦ 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐡

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. where sam was there to help y/n when she had a rough day and resorted to unwinding in a not-so-healthy way.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭. okay so i was just thinking for a sam golbach fic reader relapses (self harm) cuz their mind has been getting too much lately, and maybe sam helps them clean up and then helps take care of them and makes them feel loved nd just like lets them know that they don't need to do that because he's there from now on?? if that makes sense. also maybe not an established romantic relationship but maybe it ends up that way? like sam tells reader he doesn't know what he'd do with himself if anything happened to them he just cares a lot about them and yeah

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. ANGST ! third person pov, talks of self harm, relapsing, descriptive literature, friend!sam, friends to lovers.

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. if anybody needs anyone to talk to i’m here! 🤍 sorry this took so long to post & write! this one hit really personal for me but id okay to say ive healed & im continuing to heal from my past. if anyone is going through similar hardships, you can get through it! i believe, love, & support you always.

y/n told herself she wouldn’t put herself in this position again. she wouldn’t.. but sometimes things don’t go as planned.

she had tried to stay strong, to stop letting her mind control every action she took; it just became too much. she sat on the cold tile floor of her bathroom, tears making their way down her flushed face. she gripped the item as she took the first swipe, lightly but firm enough.

just stop. she told herself. her hand shook as she went to repeat the action. she looked at her skin i just need to feel something, she thought. something other than what im feeling now.

she had been doing so good but somehow found herself back at square one. all that work that she had done was all gone. she felt hopeless, as if this never ending black hole of despair would stay with her for the rest of her life.

she took a minute to think on her life and what could have went wrong to cause her to relapse. all those thoughts had no specific effect on relapsing, its just her brain had begun to spin a web that caused her to get stuck in her head all day. what else can i do? she thought as she took another swipe at her skin. she planned on continuing until she heard her bedroom door open.

her heart dropped to her ass. “y/n..?” the voice had confusion laced in their voice.

sam.

it was sam.

the blonde boy was one of the things that y/n had in her life that truly made her happy. he was her best friend. she never told him that but she truly meant that with every fiber of her being.

y/n quickly wiped her tears when she heard the footsteps come closer to the bathroom. wiping the tears would make the tear stains disappear but the thing about breaking down, you’re left with that struggle of trying to catch your breath.

she couldn’t stop gasping, trying to breathe calm and collectively. that’s why as sam stopped right beside the bathroom. he heard a small gasp escape her lips that caught his attention.

his eyebrows raised in confusion. he put his head beside the door trying to hear something else. “uh.. y/n? you in there?” he knocked. he received no answer. multiple questions and thoughts ran through his mind before he opened the door.

sam had seen many things in his life, traumatic even, but this — it was like his heart had jumped, dropped, did a tumble, and self destructed all in the span of 3 seconds. he instantly became nauseous at the sight of y/n holding a blade to her forearm. the small cuts that had caught his eye before she covered her arm and hid the blade had his blood run cold.!

the second y/n had been caught she felt guilty and embarrassed. she felt pathetic, like she wasn’t strong enough to handle the hard reality of the real world. immediately, she stood up and faced sam. “i-im sorry you weren’t supposed to see that.. it’s not what it looks like.” she sniffled trying to contain her tears. “i… it just, lately everything has been so crazy and i haven’t … i haven’t done this in a while but… but everything has just been… too much.” she rambled out, trying to explain herself.

sam’s face of confusion faltered. he thought about her words. the way she mentioned in a while had him wondering what caused her to relapse and fall back into this situation. he scanned her face. she’s too pure to be suffering like this. he paused thinking of what to say but truly all that he wanted to do was give her a hug. so that’s what he did.

he pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her protectively. she melted into his touch. her lip quivered as she wrapped her own arms around him. her body shook as more tears cascaded down her face.

sam felt his own eyes sting with tears. “i’m sorry.” he choked up. “i’m sorry you’ve been going through all of this alone.” he rested his cheek on her head closing his eyes trying to stay strong for her.

y/n hasn’t said anything, still feeling guilty. sam pulled away and looked down at the floor seeing the blade and a tissue beside it. he picked them up and threw both away.

he turned back to y/n who had a tired look on her face. “as long as i’m here nothing will hurt you, okay? i will be here for you. you can depend on me. you don’t need to do this anymore to yourself y/n, i won’t let you.” he took her face into his hands. “i promise, i love you and im always here for you no matter what.”

y/n’s heart raced as sam’s words really effected her. she nodded pursing her lips and biting her cheek.

he brought her head to his mouth and pressed a light kiss on her forehead. “i mean it y/n. i don’t know what i’d do with myself without you. you complete me.”

y/n’s eyes scanned sam’s face noticing how his own eyes began to water and become puffy. the scene before her causing her throat to close. “m’sorry i promise i wont do it anymore. i love you sam and… fuck — i know i shouldn’t be doing that. i just didn’t know what else to do.” she leaned against his chest.

“i know, i know baby but from now on you can talk to me about it. about anything. i care so much about you. you truly have no idea how much i…” he stopped himself not wanting to overwhelm her. “just know you mean the world to me. you are and have been my priority since we met and that’s never going to change.” the reassuring words causing y/n to relax.

y/n started to get inside her head, wondering what if he got tired of her, if he’d leave her, what she’d do or how she’d feel if that happened — or even worse; if she would be a burden to sam.

sam noticed y/n zoning out. “hey, tell me what you’re thinking please.” his hands reached down to grab her own.

she took a deep breath. c’mon y/n. she blinked a couple times trying to sort her thoughts. “don’t wanna be a burden to you.” she admitted to which sam immediately shook his head.

sam brought her hands to his mouth kissing her knuckles. “you could never ever be a burden to me. you keep me pushing through every day because i want to be the best for you. to be the best friend you deserve and… and whatever the future may hold for us — i want you there always, okay? don’t ever forget that.”

his words wavered through the air and stood there so you could process what he truly meant. you thought on it, picking up some hidden message that you’d both communicate about later but as of now, he truly helped you feel understood and seen. as long as you had him you’d feel physically, mentally, and emotionally secure and protected.

© willowrites

[lyculuscaelus]

Just a gentle reminder that EPIC the Musical is a musical. It’s not a movie script, not a play adaptation, but a musical itself. Which means, to talk about it with anything less is inorganic, is missing an important piece of the story itself. Because it’s not just the lyrics that display the scene—music tells its own story too.

The way the soundscape for each saga (and sometimes different songs themselves) is so unique that it creates the atmosphere for this certain event almost immediately, the experience of which you cannot go through merely by reading the script. With the Cyclops Saga we have a dark and edgy theme, with the Circe Saga we have a more tropical (mostly due to the drums) and at the same time elegant one (due to the strings), with the Underworld Saga we have this very gloomy theme which is straight up Underworld feels…this is very common for music, but it’s just something you won’t get from the script.

The way the delivery of so many lines is so good that you can feel the emotions so vividly—something lyrics alone can’t display. (Which is also the reason why there’re so many lamenting paragraphs in tragic plays and why there’re pauses between spoken lines in writings where writers describe the expression and movement of characters.) The way you can hear the anguish and desperation in the delivery of so many lines from Mutiny, the way you can feel the emotional struggle of Odysseus at the end of Thunder Bringer in the way Jay sings…there’re so many moments where you just feel the raw emotions coming from those lines that you can’t experience it by reading the lyrics and interpreting with wild guesses.

The way the reoccurring motifs and riffs tell so many things that lyrics won’t is already well-known. Danger is nearby motif already gives you the alert of what is to come; storm motif depicts a harsh encounter on sea that it captures that moment so well; that specific motif from those three songs (the beginning of the second verse of The Horse and the Infant, the first and second verse of Survive, the beginning of the second half of Mutiny) is foretelling the turning point of events (and also asking someone to kill the other being)…and then we have characters’ own motifs. Odysseus’s cunning motif shows the moment where he plots the course of action; Athena’s Warrior of the Mind motif already indicates her appearance and more; Polites’s Open Arms motif just destroys your emotions cuz why not; Eurylochus’s Luck Runs Out motif shows the development of the dynamics between him and his Captain…there’re so many to rant about that I just can’t put them all in this one post. As for the riffs, the most famous one is of course the way Athena and Odysseus and Telemachus sing “miiiiind”/“fiiiiiine”/etc. as Jay has already yapped about in his video, which just shows the dynamics between these three characters so perfectly. Hey look, another thing which the script won’t tell you.

And then we have these characters’ own instruments. I don’t even think I’ll need to elaborate on this one. Most of you have known that already and understood how genius this idea is even though it’s not Jay who came up with it. This is totally something you can only experience in the music itself, but meanwhile it says a lot about the scene already. As in Done For where Odysseus’s electric guitar continues playing under Circe’s lines which indicates he has taken hold of the situation already (even though temporarily). It might be a minor thing, but still it’s very well-thought, and sometimes even foreshadowing (like how Poseidon’s trumpets have already shown up in Storm).

…

There’re so many things to rant about this musical that a single post is far from enough to discuss them all. Here I’m only pointing out that EPIC is an organic combination of lyrics and music (and action when it comes to stage production which I believe it will eventually) that it’s impossible to treat them separately while still getting the whole story right. Once again, the piece you’re talking about is not a stage play—it’s a musical that is epic.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

is it weird that the Choi parents might be my second favorite couple on this show? lol

At first, I was a bit upset about how long the main romance was taking to begin, but I'm really glad that the problems in the Choi family were resolved before Seunghyo continued pursuing Seukryu. I think there's something so romantic and wholesome about the fact that once your life is in complete order, with no chaos or noise around you, you can devote yourself to being in love, not to fix your problems, or complete your life, but to enrich it.

damn, they really gave the parents really good lines hahaha I just know these two actors were really excited about having to portray a romance when rarely anyone of their age gets to do that in dramaland.

And for Seunghyo it's always been Seukryu, his lifeline and light in his chaotic family life. Trying to start a relationship, trying to form this bond with a person you love it's definitely different, stronger, once everything in your life is settled and there are no traumas about relationships looming in the shadows. I've seen far too many dramas with that plotline and it feels right that this drama dealt with this before launching a relationship with our two mains.

And I was right!! The problem with the Choi parents was communication. It took a really scary situation for them to get to the place where they finally were able to talk it all out, but I'm glad no one was badly hurt and that it was before they divorced (cough cough looking at you , Queen of Tears cough cough).

I'm just really happy for all three of them, and I'm so glad that Seunghyo finally got to say his part as well, and that he sort of became a child again, scared that his parents were gonna divorce. It was hard to see him being in that state, and I have to praise Jung HaeIn for being able to convey those emotions in a way that it made them feel real and made me feel for him. Here you have a thirty-something-year-old man, with a successful career and a life already separated from his parents, but who has always lived in fear about a possibly imminent divorce, the end of his family, even if he thought it was barely holding on, it was his imperfect family! and to see him being so hurt once he got the news he had been dreading for half his life… oooff. It got to me.

Also, Seokryu looks already like the daughter-in-law. And I love that it wasn't awkward or out of place at all that she was there to look for the mom, to offer support, and/or to be witness of the family reunion and reconciliation. It made sense for her to be there, even if she took a step behind and just listened, it made sense. I'm sure the Choi parents already love her like a daughter and I'm sticking with my theory that they are gonna be the most happy with the news of the two dating, unlike the Bae parents, which I honestly do not expect much from. Sadly.

[itz-pandora]

Guys watch this before clicking read more

I have so many thoughts

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN MARIA'S WOUND AND THE DESTROYED MOON?!!! OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY. MY GOD. That's the entire reason I started writing my thoughts down because that's way past important. Where's that post about the symbolism and correlation between Maria's name and the moon because that's all I can think about

AND I LOVE how they're choosing to portray Maria recently, excited and eager for everything, even though it hurts her. Also how fascinated she is with earth makes me happy. I love the idea she'll just endlessly ramble to Shadow about Earth. Also her VA does a good job at letting you know how out of breath she is and how she's still all upbeat even tho she's literally about to pass out

Also ?!!! I AM GOING A BIT CRAZY AT SHADOWS PORTRAYAL!! I'm so hyped to see how he's interpreted in Generations. He seems so confused, and like each time period he's in impacts his personality heavily, like he's still with them on the ARK. He wants to save everyone even though he knows he can't and I'm SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS because of it. I think the way that they'll try to portray him going into the past is with him being only half-aware of everything, OR, HE'S TRYING TO LIVE A LIE TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL BETTER. Ohmygod the second one makes me feel ill because he just wants to be happy, he wants to keep his little family together and safe, but he knows that the fate is inevitable, just wondering if he could've stopped it. It's haunting to him. The feeling of not being in control is present throughout the entire episode, where he's constantly dragged through each event, each one being more exhausting than the last. Everything is happening to him, he's not the driving force, and that's the sad part, he had an entire game about defining his identity, and still, he's always been a puppet to someone else, bent to their will.

I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING WITH GERALD BECAUSE ITS DEFINITELY SOMETHING. SHADOW WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU??? Shadow had to PHYSICALLY CLASP HIS HEAD BECAUSE OF THIS. I NEED TO KNOW.

Dude is this supposed to be Shadow's second traumatic flashback regarding the ARK, since in the hero story of SHTH, there's an entire level about the ARK where he plays with Maria as his sidekick, and it was triggered by hearing the sirens of the ARK (which I LOVE btw. Of COURSE he'd associate the noise with events since it's been drilled into his psyche before the amnesia)

I LOVE how scared he is at the end. He's sooooo panicked. I love how they give him the sparks when he's overwhelmed, it makes me feel so happy.

Who is HE?! It can't be Shadow before his memory loss, that guy did NOT SURVIVE. Also idk if they're going to return to the "pre and post amnesia Shadow are different people" thing they implied, because I think it'd be best to have it be like his memories are fragmented, and it's all about remembering, and THEN WE GET A NEW INTERPRETATION OF SHADOW?? Pls? Like not new but somewhere in between SA2 and after that, but with more little brother energy because MARIA IS HERE!!!!

GUYS WHAT ARE THOSE FLOWERS AT THE END AND WHAT DO THEY MEAN. PLEASE TELL ME SINCE THEY PROBABLY HAVE SYMBOLISM

This is so disorganized sorry I'm not normal at all

And ofc Eggman's piss was still on the moon. We love continuity

[beecauseevan]

omg established buddie yes

movie nights!! with chris preferably

Silence permeates the living room, expectant and uncomfortably tense. Eddie shifts in his spot on the couch, cringing when his jeans rasp against the cushions. He steals a glance at Chris, who is transfixed by the images flashing across the TV screen. Next to Chris, just visible over his brown curls, Buck is chewing on his bottom lip. Despite that obvious struggle to keep his big mouth shut, he's not the one who breaks the tense silence.

"Oh man," Chris says. His fingers twitch, like he's fighting the urge to cover his eyes with his hands. "I knew you were old, dad. I didn't know you were ancient."

Buck's laugh is choked and startled and only grows louder when Eddie glares at him over Chris' head.

"That's not—" Eddie starts. "This was already old when I watched it."

Chris tears his eyes away from the TV just long enough to shoot him an incredulous look. "Are you sure?"

"I didn't know you were a nerd," says Buck, who watches documentaries for fun and really doesn't get to talk. "This is all new information."

"I'm not a nerd."

"This is pretty nerdy," Chris argues.

Eddie shakes his head and eats an indignant fistful of popcorn. This is what he gets for trying to educate the youth. 

It's Christopher's fault, really. 

"I want to watch something," he said earlier, at dinner, chewing on Buck's newly perfected version of Bobby's veggie lasagna. "Something with space."

"Star Wars?" Buck suggested, twirling his fork between his fingers. "We haven't watched Episode V in a while."

Disapproval scrunching up his face, Chris shook his head. "We've watched it like a thousand times, though."

"It's a masterpiece," Buck replied, making Eddie—who had introduced him to Star Wars—very proud. "Can't see it too many times."

Eddie didn't add anything to their back and forth, a quietly content observer, warmed from the inside by Buck's lasagna and from the outside by the presence of the two people he cared most about. 

"Or," Buck added, "we can watch Revenge of the Sith, if you want."

"You hate that one," Chris said.

"I don't hate it. I just think the original trilogy is better."

"You're wrong." 

"The original trilogy has Han Solo," Buck said. "And Yoda. And Luke."

"Yoda is in the prequels too," Chris argued. "And the prequels have Jar Jar Binks."

"That's—a good thing?"

Chris shrugged. "He's funny."

Buck glanced at Eddie, who hid his smile in his palm. "He has a point."

Buck's eyes said does he, but of course that's not what came out of his mouth. Buck might be a worse pushover than Eddie, if that is even physically possible.

"Fine," he said, "Revenge of the Sith it is."

"No," Chris sighed, stabbing his fork into the leftovers on his plate. "I want to watch something new."

And Eddie, naive and optimistic wounded heart that he is, suggested something he would soon regret: "I really liked Star Trek when I was a kid. We could check that out."

"The movies?" Chris asked. "We've seen the movies, dad."

Chris meant the new ones, and Eddie didn't have the strength to tell him that he was a little too old to have watched those movies as a kid. He let that comment slide and shook his head. 

"No, the show. The original one. With William Shatner?"

Chris shook his head, and a moment later, so did Buck. Eddie took a moment to picture the horrifiedly disappointed face Chim would make in response to that statement, then moved on. 

"You guys are in for a treat."

He meant it then, too. He really thought they would love it. 

Turns out childhood memories don't always depict reality in all of its grainy, puke-yellow flannelled glory. The show is a lot more rough than he remembers and it doesn't help that he started them off with the first episode of the first season, instead of one of the good ones. He thought this would be a hit and they'd end up watching it regularly, but—well. 

"Why do his eyes look like that?" Chris asks, frowning at the screen. 

Eddie just shrugs—Buck, who has never been able to leave a question unanswered, is already digging out his phone. 

"No googling," Eddie scolds him. "You're gonna ruin the immersion."

Buck waves him off, phone screen lighting up the smirk on his face. 

"I just wanna know why they're wearing pajamas," Chris adds.  

"Wish our uniforms looked like that," Buck says, glancing up from his phone just long enough to smirk at Eddie. "They're probably really cozy."

"Not very cool, though," Chris points out. 

"It's tinfoil," Buck cuts in. "Tinfoil contacts. That's how they got his eyes to look like that."

Chris frowns. "Ew."

"Guys," Eddie complains weakly. "This is a classic."

Buck has the decency to say, "I'm sorry," but the way he mumbles it against his palm, barely concealed laughter coloring his voice, tells Eddie that he's not that sorry at all. 

"You said the same thing about Die Hard," Chris points out. "That was bad too."

Eddie shakes his head, stunned, and looks at Buck, who shrugs. 

"He's not wrong."

"That's it," Eddie decides, while the tinfoil-eyed monsters continue to poach the crew of the Enterprise, "I'm moving out. I bet Chim will take me in."

"More lasagna for me," Chris says, entirely unbothered. 

Buck laughs, loud and clear, and Eddie puts his hands in front of his eyes and pretends, badly and unconvincingly, to be upset. He isn't, he couldn't be, even if this were his favorite piece of media in the whole entire universe as opposed to just a show he used to enjoy as a kid—he couldn't be mad, because it's hard to be upset when you're faced with such stark reminders of why your life is as close to perfect as it could possibly be. Eddie loves that Chris and Buck hate the show, because they hate it together. He loves being the center of their good-natured mockery, because it means they're teaming up on him. They're a family. Eddie's family. And he loves them more than life.

As the episode goes on—and it goes on for ages—Chris grows more and more quiet. When the credits start rolling, he's dozed off. His head is pillowed on Buck's arm and Buck sits perfectly still, which in itself is a little bit of a miracle.

"Think he'll wake up if I carry him to bed?" Buck asks quietly, carefully, like he'd rather stop breathing than disturb Chris, which, knowing Buck, might not be too far from the truth.

"Probably," Eddie says, "I think you're gonna have to move."

"I really don't want to."

"Guess you're sleeping on the couch," Eddie shrugs.

Buck sighs. Then he moves, and Chris blinks awake, yawns, and for a moment he's six again, so small Eddie could delude himself into thinking that all he needed to do was fold him into his arms and the world would never be able to touch him.

Then Chris groans and rubs his eyes and looks around, instantly annoyed in that way only a tired teenager can be, and Eddie is back in the here and now, and he finds he likes it just the same.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Buck pokes Chris' shoulder and Eddie watches, with a smile that almost hurts his cheeks, as Chris rolls his eyes, teenage stubbornness without any sort of sting, because even though he's biologically and socially obligated to find adults annoying and embarrassing, Buck is still his person. "You ready for bed?"

"Yeah, yeah," Chris grumbles.

"I can come with," Eddie offers, and gets the same kind of eyeroll in return, and feels a rush of warmth when he realizes that maybe—maybe he's still Chris' person too. It's been a long road since Kim, but maybe they're getting there.

"I'm not a baby, dad," Chris tells him, straightening up on his crutches. "I can brush my teeth on my own."

"Alright, alright," Eddie relents.

Chris goes off on his own and by the time Buck and Eddie are done with the dishes, the rest of the house is quiet, including Christopher's room. Eddie glances at Buck, standing by the sink, and finds Buck looking back at him. He's wearing yellow rubber gloves and an apron and the smirk on his lips is not entirely innocent. 

"Hey."

"Hey yourself," Buck says, stripping off the gloves in one smooth motion. Eddie wonders what it says about him that that kind of turns him on. "You know, I thought Star Trek was all about homoerotic sexual tension. Didn't feel much of that."

Eddie blinks. "What?"

"Captain Kirk and the guy with the," Buck points at the side of his head, "ears."

Eddie feels a smile coming on and bites down on his bottom lip. He can't be that easy. "You know about that but you don't know who William Shatner is?"

"I have niche interests," Buck tells him, hands finding Eddie's hips. His smile is brilliant. His hands are cold. The sleeves of his hoodie are still rolled up. Eddie loves this man to the core. 

"Hm." Eddie sways closer, wraps his arms around Buck's shoulders, brings their lips together in a lingering kiss. "Boy, do I have the episode for you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Eddie hums. Another warm kiss later, he laces their fingers together and leads Buck back into their living room, turns the TV back on. "This one is called Amok Time."

[moonsceptre]

What is your opinion on the Beetlejuice 2 Dream Theory?

This theory?

My opinion is that it's very likely to be true. I walked away from the cinema extremely happy with all of the shippy moments—so happy I hadn't even considered theorising anything yet, however my first thought about the ending was, So it was all Lydia's dream?

I read through the post and was blown away by how much sense it made, but I think it helped push me to believe it when my friend sent me this

My friend is not interested in theorising or shipping, and has no connection to the BJ fandom, he's just a horror fan. Yet his interpretation of the movie's ending was a summarised version of the whole dream theory. Isn't it far more romantic to imagine Lydia having spent her life with Betelgeuse, and he's indulging her with a dream of her own child? Considering they both have a 'psychic connection', I'm not convinced that Lydia hasn't been thinking about BJ just as much as he's been thinking about her.

This user pointed out both of Betelgeuse's love songs are by artists named Richard, conveniently the name of Lydia's previous partner. The same partner who was described as a horror fan that loved playing pranks, and dressed as a Beetlejuice lookalike for Halloween.

Looks like Beetlejuice, acts like Beetlejuice—either Lydia is equally obsessed, or it's BJ projecting himself onto Lydia's human lover within the dream. Watching the movie with new eyes, I noticed in the "Later, fucker" scene that BJ is sitting in the same place Richard sat while working at the border control. "Astrid" herself has a name related to the celestial bodies, much like "Betelgeuse". You can either take this as a romantic parallel, or Tim is trying to show us that Richard's creation is based on Lydia's fixation with Beetlejuice.

Dream sequences often use characters to represent something within the dreamer's psyche. It's like an abstract analysis of the way that character thinks and feels. Astrid's sequence within the dream shows Lydia's material desires—it confirms everything was based off of what Lydia wanted, which included getting married to a 'monster' (in the sequence of events, Astrid marries a guy dressed as a vampire), and then gives birth to the Beetlebaby. I know in the first movie there is a reference to the horror movie "The Fly", so I imagine this was too.

Did anyone notice the dream sequence watching Astrid didn't actually have a clear indication for when it began? It transitioned from the movie as if everything was a dream right from the start.

Let's not forget BJ straight up looking into the camera and saying "I love a good dream sequence". Lol.

My other reasoning for believing the dream theory is what Winona said about Lydia. Winona and Tim are close friends. Winona pitched the idea of having Betelgeuse and Lydia be the endgame ship in her words, and she happily took part in this movie. If Tim had rejected the idea, why would Winona reprise her role for a story she didn't agree with? Winona knows that Lydia is Tim's self insert (Tim has said many times he relates the most to Lydia), so why would Tim approve of all the shippy moments if he opposed Winona's pitch? No one knows Lydia like him!

Winona said in this interview that she hadn't imagined Lydia ever becoming a mother, but that after a while it started to make sense. She does not elaborate on that, but explains her idea for Lydia was that she would end up a spinster in the attic. If you read the dream theory, it highlights how the movie begins with Lydia in the attic, and then transitions to Lydia's TV show, but the background is still the attic. I found the whole film very dreamlike in this way, and I think the fact that Tim has said Wizard of Oz (a movie where the girl wakes up after a dream, in which those she knew acted as characters within the sequence) is one of his favourite movies helps to put it into effect.

And finally...

It's Lydia Deetz. Lydia loves the strange and unusual.. do you really think she wasn't curious enough to contact Beej again?

[luridon]

Imago Dei

A story of zealotry and bugs.

Or: Could you love a worm?

♡characters: yandere!bug x  deity!reader

♡warnings: MINORS DNI, bugs, blood, cannibalism, murder, obsession, gore, animal death, eldritch themes where YOU are the incomprehensible horror, religious themes, body horror, suicidal thoughts in an I have no mouth and I must scream kinda way, no smut but this is probably worse than smut honestly,  MINORS DNI

♡notes: Buggy People. Bug themes. Fantasyish bug world. Arachnophobes and entomophobes beware. You guys know the adventure time episode with tiny people on a separate plane of reality/existence that's sort of the logic we're operating on. This is the inverse of the "would you love me if I was a worm" meme because the worm comes first here. Does this count as bestiality is that what this is?? Ehh this is xenofiction ish this is FINE everything's FINE we don't have to psychoanalyze this we're all FINE this is all in good fun wtf did I write this

♡w/c: 2k+ | ♡masterlist♡ |

You chose him from the swarm.

You were a thing he could not comprehend, a being so vast his kind's vision was simply incapable of perceiving them in their entirety. You, in comparison, had an eye was so great you saw all his kin at once. You saw the lands beyond, their deep caverns and glass-castled cities, their seas-

And you saw him, an insignificant creature among many. A weak worm writhing among his brethren in the dirt. Your silver claws descended, and you plucked his prone form from the slums of his nest.

The elders had whispered of godkin and cruelty, of their favored being fed the still-squirming flesh of his kind. It was of little concern to him, a young thing starved and cold. He thought only of hunger. If not that, then of an end. . .but that end did not come.

For a moment and an eternity, you tended to him. You brought fresh fruit to his maw, the pulp dripping with sweet nectar. Though hesitant, his hunger won, and he ravenously tore into the meal. He was cradled in flesh soft and warm as he fed, and he could feel your lifeblood pulse beneath the plane of it. Slowly, he had his fill of the nectar, and he regained his strength.

Your great eye gazed upon him through it all. A low sound murmured all about him, and the maw that could have so easily devoured everyone he knew in a bite bared strange ivory fangs. He could do nothing but bare his own black fangs, to try and understand-

And that was his mistake. 

The world fell.

Once again, he was upon the meager dirt, only now his belly was full. He shifted about, but your warm hold was gone, so too was your gaze.

Your favor had ended as quickly as it came. You had vanished from the skies beyond, from the everything in his small, lowly world.

No matter what he asked of the elders or his peers, none could say what had happened.

Why would godkin care for us?  they scoffed, if they even believed in gods to begin with. You imagined things in your delirium. Banish these strange dreams from you head, child. They will only plague you.

Plagued indeed. He was haunted by your strange act. Why had you done so? Why had you shown kindness to such an insignificant creature, a runt fit to only to be torn apart by the rest of his nest when he'd finally keel over and die?

He could not understand.

He wanted to understand.

He wanted to feel that warmth, that gaze that found him worthy, taste that nectar, sweet and cool, hear that soothing god-tongue, even if he could not discern a word. Nothing but a daydream, whispered the nest, but he knew-

You were real. The stories of godkin must have come from somewhere. He would seek you, and understand.

To do so required sacrifice.

To survive, one needed strength. For strength, one needed sustenance, and in the nest, there was no better fare than flesh still fresh and bleeding.

Those the godkin favored fed upon lower beings, so the stories went.

As he tore into the flesh of those he felled, he thought the tales true. The tenderness of their bodies filled him with strength, and he felt something stirring within him with every dripping mouthful.

There were whispers of the power to change. Even the weak could grow strong. Even worms could grow wings and horns and armor.

A vain hope, some would say, clicking their fangs with disdain, delighting in small, pitiful pleasures. We are all destined to die as we are. Is it not lovely, to die as we are?

You did not let him die. He must have been destined for more.

He grew larger, and braver. From the deceased he went to hunt weaklings, then the hale, than the strong. Their cries were heeded no more than their scorn. Their blood wet his maw, their flesh filled his stomach.

They must have believed in gods then. They must have believed in you, for they were within him, a part of him, and he believed in you. Gods like worship, no? Now a whole nest sought you as he did.

Still, you did not appear.

The offering must not have been grand enough. It was a gift so paltry, of course it was unworthy of your attention. What did you seek then? Is there anything you could desire? What would it take to win your favor once more?

He despaired in the ravaged nest, and full and a weary from the fight and the feast, he fell into a deep sleep.

There are rumors of a beast.

One that devoured towns, one that ruined kingdoms led even by the great queens of earth and nector. Walls of crystal could not save their people. Claw and venom, stinger and wing- none could halt the monster.

It would come and conquer, feasting upon the fallen. It was horrible sight, a beast with armor, and wing, and venom- a creature that seemed to take into itself all the powers of those it fed upon. It persisted through cycles and seasons beyond those of mortal beings. It was unkillable, unstoppable.

Only those who spoke of godkin would live. Only those who proclaimed a devotion for the same entity it worshipped were spared.

The rumors spread until they ceased to be mere tales, because the beast was met, or the scoffers perished.

To survive, a cult rose in the monster's wake. Feigned following though it be, the masses were desperate to avoid the beast's wrath. The number of devoted grew, and grew, and grew, and fearing more power to the beast, fearing their own consumption by its fangs or its frenzied swarm, the rulers of nests gathered and one dared to ask the beast what it sought.

A fool's errand, a lover's folly, the ramblings of a lunatick. Still, cooperation was sworn, and scholars all across the soils and skies toiled to bring its god to the land. But how terrible a god it must be- for a such a zealot to be its first follower.

A spell of summoning was found, and alongside it. . . a spell of change. To bring god-kin to their lowly realm would only spell doom for them all. A fragile vessel then, to hold their mind, their essence. Something to placate its gluttonous fiend without ending everything as it did.

The beast knew nothing of the schemes of the fearful rulers. Through much sacrifice, at last the power to bring the god-kin was ammassed.

And so it was.

What a terrible thing it was, a god, or whatever portion was snatched of one, forced into the form of one of scaled wings and thin limbs. Something so vast could not be made so small so easily. Wings twisted with flesh and fat, eyes all about it. It thrashed in its new form, it wept and bled-

But that mattered little.

A godkin was brought low, and the beast was appeased. There was peace in the realm, and the people rejoiced.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

You wake in pain, with senses stolen and an inexplicable wrongness about you. You can move, but nothing moves right. You can see, but your sight is strange. You try to call for help-

There is nothing you can say. You cannot feel your tongue or teeth, or lips, or throat, or anything at all where your mouth should be. A nightmare, a bout of sleep paralysis, a terrible dream is all it is-

You hope that's all it is. You hope in vain.

The world trembles and so do you. You try to bring a hand to your face but find it wrong, find scales and segments over your skin and the color is wrong the texture is wrong everything is wrong-

Your joints feel too low, or too high, your body too light and too heavy. There are heavy masses at your back and like a reflex when they strike something, you lurched forward and they unfurl in a most uncomfortable, off-putting matter. New nerves, you limbs, what is happening to you-?

You feel claws spined and sharp take what should have been your hands. You hear things you could not comprehend yet do- chitters and shutterings, clicking sounds all about filtered through your head as whispers and meaning. The world is too dark yet you can't shut or open your eyes. You need to breathe but can't feel lungs, yet everything smelled. Too strong, too clear, of food, of flesh, of flowers, of soil-

Too much, it is too much-

Your new form grants you one small mercy.

You fall asleep.

You do not know how long you've been here.

A strange, dark place. A burrow, a nest, one with a bed strewn with leaves and petals and silks for a bed. You move little. You do not want to, when every movement reminds you of what you are now.

You hate the dark of it, the cloying scent of decay and earth, the silence.

But you hate the figure beside you more.

It has a terrifying visage, one barely human the way the other few faces you've seen are, the way your own feels like beneath your horrible clawed, scaled hands. It's more buglike than anything, mandibles and chitin and eyes too big and dark. You are one of them now, likely. You have not dared to look.

The figure hums. It's a soft thing, almost a soothing croon, but you loathe it all the same. It's no human sound. There is no human here, not even you.

It sounds pleased with itself, as it speaks of the world outside, of pleasant weather and a garden. You cannot tell what sort of insect it is, but it's held in high regard by the others, it has its own land where none bother it, and so none bother you. It says those who tried to slay you have been executed, and their heads, clean and shining, are piked among the foliage and blooms.

That draws tears from you, and you hate the revolting beast beside you as bows its head to lap up the fluid from all the eyes.

How relieved you must be, it says. I'm glad I could protect you.

You hate it, the creature that brought you here and keeps you here. The one time you felt hope was when those intruders swarmed in, and tried to take your head.

An abomination, they had hissed, raising something sharp, An affront to nature.

You only prayed that they knew where your neck was, if you had one in this body.

Your soft flesh was barely pierced when they were flung from you. The figure now at your side had returned, and it took them all away, slaying some, maiming others. Then it had kneeled beside you, murmuring apologies and begging for forgiveness as it tended to you.

You think you started truly hating it then.

Your captor never tires of muttering about how glad it is to have you here, your flesh and your warmth, your mere presence. It likes to lay beside you, or press its face or claws to your wings to feel the veins and arteries beneath your skin. It drinks of your tears and blood and thanks you for the blessing, and you have much to give as you weep from the pain of your new form, of being here, from the eyes upon your head and the ones upon your wings.

It is a monster that kneels beside you and keeps you here, and you are a monster as well.

You are an abomination, to your kind and its own. You hope others of its kin feel the same, and that they'll seek to finish what their fellows started.

You can only hope one day, one of them will succeed.

Tldr: A worm fell in love with something way beyond it so metamorphosed into an abomination of a beetle and dragged its god down to its plane even if that mean much murder and squishing a human into a horrible fleshy butterfly abomination thing. It is now happily malewifing while its god wants to die.

[blessedbygookim]

The Queen Of Busan.

Part one: the meeting.

Part two: defeated.

Part three: forgiveness.

Here it is, the final part. I prolonged this for so long it’s unbelievable. I hope it’s good enough. 🫶🏻

Just an FYI, the quote at the end is an existing one, I felt like it fit into the story.

Three whole years have passed since then.

They're both nineteen now, going on twenty.

Three sets of summers, winters, springs and falls, and since then many things have happened.

They got trained by Tom Lee, getting stronger than they were before. The Four Crews were up and running. Big Deal is still under Jake Kim's excellent leadership, the Workers are led by Eugene, Hostel by Eli Jang, and the one and only God Dog, Johan Seong.

In the meantime both Gun and Goo did their own things on the sidelines. Goo collecting Secret Friends, and Gun finding a potential successor, aka Daniel Park.

One thing still hasn't changed. Since everything that has perspired with Nova three years ago in Busan, they haven't stepped a foot in the city ever since.

As several years go by, Gun, though he has grown in strength and ability, still feels that lingering sense of fear at the thought of being overpowered so easily and utterly. Every now and then, his mind drifts back to that day... wondering how she is doing.

Not for the sole reason that he cares oh so much about anyone else other than himself, he was just...curious.

He was doing well for himself now, but the memory still lingered... no, it gnawed at him. He felt like him calling himself the greatest and strongest was nothing now but a painful mockery of him trying to mask the undeniable truth with delusions.

Also, the act of seeking vengeance lingered on his mind.

Lingered, but never solidified.

Why should he...? Would the outcome be different? He did get stronger, so did Joongoo since they have fought in the meantime but... it still wasn't something he was willing to fuck around with and find out.

More so because deep down he knows it would be futile.

Since logically speaking; if they themselves got stronger, who's to say something along those lines hasn't happened to her? If she was so strong three years ago, who knows what kind of power she has transcended above since then? It was a little gut wrenching.

But that's not the only thing that makes it gut wrenching for him. The fact that the both of them still fear her so much even though they're so much stronger, that feeling of dread is what really gets him.

It was almost embarrassing how much they feared her.

Scratch that, it is embarassing.

How powerless and small they felt in her presence. Even if they had grown, it didn't mean much when they didn't know just how much stronger she may have become.

Goo still has that piece of blade, still stained with her dried blood on the surface. He didn't know why he kept it, perhaps because it held his biggest insecurity, a secret of their defeat, the only proof of that night.

An additional scar Gun has gained on his back, a long scar right across his spine, which he would rather have than have gotten his eyes plucked out. And, a scar of a once gaping hole right below Goo's collar bone, tainting his once pristine skin.

"I wonder if we should be ballsy enough to seek revenge in the near future..."

Goo ponders out loud as he lays on his luxury couch, counting the bills of the vast sum of money they have collected today, while Gun is smoking a cigarette a few feet away.

He lets out a bitter scoff at his comment, a bitter scoff that's quickly followed by an equally if not more bitter sounding chuckle, that has an almost ironic undertone. He shakes his head at the idea, the thought that they would attempt to get revenge on her being almost laughable to him.

“That woman is a freak of nature. We'd be lucky to get out with our lives... if we didn't end up maimed."

"Yeah... probably..."

Goo responds, letting out a sigh as he stuffs a good amount of bills into his Supreme bill gun.

"How about this? If you're that hellbent on getting revenge, why don't you be the first one to go seek her out? I'll watch from a safe distance... maybe I'll even film some of it to put on Youtube."

As Gun spoke that last sentence, a subtle but malicious chuckle could be heard in his voice, a clear note of mockery and humor present in the way he spoke.

"You're so funny."

Goo deadpans with a roll of his eyes, pulling the trigger of the bill gun. Even the 10000 worth of korean won bills can't suppress his inner turmoil at the moment, which said a lot since he came to love money so much.

"Mhm, yeah, just like I thought."

Gun chuckles again, his eyes narrowing slightly as he gazes at his friend with an amused glint in his eyes.

"Still pissing your pants over that girl from three years ago, huh? Damn. You're a coward."

"Oh fuck you, that's so hypocritical coming from someone who feels the same way!"

He throws back immediately, eyebrows furrowed together in annoyance.

Until his head falls back against the armrest of the couch, a sigh leaving his lips.

"...do you think she also thinks about us till this day?.. I did leave her a pretty hefty stab wound all those years ago..."

Gun can't help but chuckle once again at his comment, a slight malicious glint appearing in his eyes.

"Oh, really? You think she would care about some tiny flesh wound you gave her, that she didn't even bat an eye at? If anything, I bet she doesn't even remember us. You think she'd remember a couple of weaklings she beat in only a minute?"

"This is the first time I'm hearing you call yourself weak in a good while..."

Goo chuckles a little, gathering the bills off of his body.

"She really did shake off a blade piercing right through her... and walked more into it...and stabbed through my body with her own hand... it still haunts me in my dreams."

Goo ponders as he recalls the events, his arm falling beside him off the couch with the bill gun.

"...I feel so pathetic every time I look back on that night. We were utterly defeated. Completely overwhelmed. And then she had the audacity to offer us mercy. It makes my blood burn just thinking about it. Such a pity, such a kindness, aimed at such weak people who couldn't even beat her."

Gun's eyes narrow as he thinks more and more about that night, as the memory continues to flood in and torment him.

Meanwhile the blonde aims his bill gun his way and shoots some bills towards his companion.

"But if you really think about it and put your narcissism aside, she really just defended what she has built up. She was overprotective, and of course didn't let bastards like us take that away from her."

When the bills came flying at him, Gun didn't even look at them as they bounced off his chest and fell onto the floor. He was more focused on Goo, and the way he was attempting to defend that psychopath.

"Defend? You really think she was 'defending'? That was nothing more than a show of domination. Overprotective? Please. Her strength and power is something that should be considered illegal. The fact she had the nerve to offer us mercy afterwards, like we were some pitiful creatures that could be easily squashed, it makes my blood boil when I think of it. Who the hell does she think she is, being so damn generous?"

Gun continues to scoff and chuckle bitterly as he continues to smoke his cigarette, taking slow, deliberate puffs and exhales.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, White Ghost. If you weren't so emotionally detached you would understand her point of view. I do as well even though it's embarrassing to think back to how easily she handled us..."

Goo retorts with an exasperated tone, accidentally dropping the bill gun on his face.

"Ouch..."

"Do you think if she has since found it in her heart to forgive us...? Because if you think about it logically, we just did what Charles instructed us to do without another thought."

Goo suggests, another slight shrug of his shoulders, lips pursed, rubbing his forehead where the gun hit him.

"Forgive us? Hmph, fat chance. Even if she claims to forgive us or whatever bullshit she spouts, she's probably just saying that so we can live in a constant state of paranoia."

Gun pauses, taking another drag from his cigarette.

"I don't know if we should be bold enough to fuck around and find out though..."

Goo mutters out, tossing the bill gun away.

"We've both grown so much since that day, but there's no telling what kind of evolution she went through in the past three years. Last thing I want to do is bring that kind of trauma back upon myself...then again I can't help but be curious."

"Yeah, I agree with you there. Even if we've grown, there's still no damn way to know how strong she could have become, especially with that unnatural durability of hers. I can't believe she humiliated us when I have my Ultra Instinct..."

As he talks, Gun takes yet another drag from his cigarette.

"Do you think me still keeping that blade brings some sort of bad omen to us?"

Goo throws out another question, tearing Gun away from his spiraling train of thoughts.

They have to do something about the trauma and the fear of that whole encounter, if they can't let go of it in any other way, they have to do SOMETHING. Goo can't help himself but wholeheartedly believe it is some sort of bad charm, still having kept that blade of his.

Gun hesitates for a moment before answering, his expression becoming slightly confused, he wasn't one to believe in such things.

Yet-

"Honestly... it sounds stupid, but yeah. It probably does. I mean, just because it's a blade doesn't necessarily mean it's bad luck, but still... the fact that neither of us threw that blade away kind of gives me a bad feeling. It's like a constant physical reminder of that day, like a curse."

He responds back to Goo's question, this was what he had in mind already.

"I think the first step we need to take to get over this and move on from it is to get rid of the blade."

"...but it's a titanium wielded blade..."

Goo pouts once again.

Of course that is his biggest concern.

"Even if we destroy it, both yours and my scar will remain, and so will her pure existence... and who says we won't run into her? She's all over the country anyway, all the time..."

He reasons.

"Yeah, you're right. Even if we destroy the blade, scars don't go away so easily, and the trauma still remains. And the chances of us running into her are very high, too high for my liking..."

Gun sighs out as well, he's growing frustrated at the difficult situation they find themselves in. No matter how hard they try it seems that they'll never be able to forget this memory of her.

"How about this?.."

Goo the blonde exclaims softly, it was like a visible lightbulb went off above his head.

"We stop being pussies, we throw our ego aside, and seek her out to apologize to her face to face."

Silence.

Gun, his face contorts into pure confusion and, disgust.

Goo on the other hand, looks like someone who just invented something miraculos, like water powered engines.

By the slight twitch of Gun's eye, the blonde standing like Superman almost also ended up like said guy who came up with said invention if he didn’t restrain himself.

Erased from the face of the Earth.

"What?.. Are you insane? That has to be the dumbest idea you've ever had in your life. And you have a lot of dumb ideas."

Gun retorts finally, his brow knits together as he stares at Goo with an expression that's a mixture of shock and disbelief. He can't believe the very idea of seeking out Nova, especially doing so to apologize faces-to-face is even being suggested.

Who does this guy think he is?

"Do you seriously think she'd accept our apologies? You really think she'd just forgive us and move on? That sounds like an absolutely moronic idea."

"...at least we can attempt to do so... forgiveness is up to her to be honest..."

Goo shrugs again, voice softening a little as his posture softens with it.

"...and maybe if it works out well, we can gradually start moving on as well."

Now, Gun really had to think this through.

Gamble a little, in ways it would benefit him.

"Tch.... Fine, if you say so. We better hope that she'll listen to us when we try to apologize. I sincerely hope this idea of yours is worth our time..."

Gun relents, knowing that Goo can be quite persuasive at times anyway. He's still highly skeptical, but he trusts Goo and knows that he means well.

If it benefits himself as well of course.

"Alright..."

Goo utters out, falling back on the couch.

"Should we just then... travel to Busan first thing tomorrow and look for her in that same restaurant we met her all those years ago...?"

Gun nods, although still wary about the whole idea.

"Yeah, that's probably the best course of action. Let's take the first flight to Busan tomorrow and see if we can find her. If we're lucky, she might even be in that same restaurant we met her in all those years ago."

He pauses for a moment before continuing, an annoyed look on his face.

"But if it turns out your idea was shit, I will bury you somewhere.."

Tomorrow came faster than usual, perhaps to both their dismay. Neither of the really slept too much, the anxiety was keeping them up wide awake.

"My anxiety is so bad, I couldn't stop taking a shit every hour or so this morning..."

Goo and his usual TMI, accompanied by a huge yawn.

Gun rolls his eyes in annoyance at his excessive information about his bodily functions.

Why did he need to know that.

"Gross. Do you really need to share all that with me? I don't want to hear the details of your bathroom business."

His tone of voice is stern and serious, but the way he speaks suggests that he's not completely mad at him. He's actually a little bit amused by his friend's carefree nature, but he'd never admit it.

He also didn't understand why Joongoo had to wear such an obnoxious looking designer outfit either.

Proof that money can't buy style and taste.

He himself is still wearing the same old black outfit he is usually seen with, the man is nothing if not very consistent. He stares at the blonde's outfit for a bit...

Tacky.

Draws hell of a lot attention to themselves. More than Gun would like.

At first he doesn't say anything while walking down the street.

This man looks like he's going to a fashion show for rich people or something.

Then, he looks at Goo again and decides to break the silence.

"Are you seriously going through this whole ordeal wearing those gaudy clothes?"

He shakes his head in disbelief, his eyes scanning his flashy outfit.

"You look like a walking advertisement for bad taste, you know that?"

"I don't remember asking for your opinion!"

Goo retorts in a childish manner, the same verbal skirmish they usually engage in.

"Also, I need to look good just in case she kills us today. I refuse to die looking raggedy."

"Pfft, as if looking good is gonna save us from death...If she wants us dead, we're dead. And honestly, you'd still look pretty damn raggedy wearing those flashy clothes. They don't exactly scream 'good taste' to me."

"You just have zero taste!"

"Thank God, then."

Not long after arriving at the front of that same restaurant, and the same spot they got their asses whopped all those years ago is nothing more than haunting.

"I think I'm gonna shit myself..."

Goo mutters out with an uncomfortable scowl, earning a disgusted look from his partner.

"What the fuck."

"God, you're ridiculous. How old are you again?"

He mutters under his breath the same time as a loud, nervous gulp coming from his friend.

"Look, let's just get this over with. The faster we apologize, the faster we can get out of here. Even if it doesn't go well, at least we tried."

"... I think Imma throw up..."

Goo responds with some fake gagging noises, being overdramatic as usual.

Gun can't help but to roll his white irises under the sunglasses, and takes a firm hold of Goo's upper arm to drag him into the reception area of the restaurant.

Safe to say the receptionist recognized them in a heartbeat.

Who couldn't?

He gives them a double-take, then a triple take-

There is no such thing as a calm, peaceful day in the life of someone working such field.

Well, this is what he gets paid for so.. he just lets out a sigh.

He already knew what they wanted, they didn't even have to say anything. So, he leads them direrctly to her.

Of course she'd be here today of all days, it was almost like she knew they'd come.

"I think I just shit my pants..."

Comes the uncomfortable sounding mutter from the blonde, and Gun only rolls his eyes again.

What is it with him and his bowel movements today..

"Would you shut up? It's gonna be fine, stop worrying so much. At least wait until we actually speak to her first before you start shitting yourself."

Gun mutters back, equally as uncomfortable but trying to maintain his usual demeanor.

"You're not helping..."

Goo speaks from behind him again, sucking his teeth as they keep walking.

He didn't even bother to utter a response to that this time.

Arriving shortly after at that same table, they both stand with their backs straight. Everything feels the same as of yet, except that they could now feel her overwhelming presence from practically a few feet away, the waiter blocking their view as he talks to her, but they couldn't hear the conversation from the position they were standing in. Gun has an expression of neutrality right now, he refuses to acknowledge the tension and anxiety he's feeling deep down, he's trying to act as calm as he can right now, not like Goo who looked as pale as a ghost as they stood, waiting.

Once the man takes his leave, their brains shut down.

Not even going into just power saving mode, but turns off instead momentarily.

Is it because of how poised she looks?

A simple designer dress suited for the summer weather, heels on. Hair longer, face mixed with soft and sharp features, blended together perfectly. Tattoos adorning her skin, like her cleavage area and neck, different Japanese words, koi fishes and sakura flowers, black and red ink mostly. She sure has matured a lot, just like them.

Grey eyes as fierce as ever if not more when they both make eye contact with her.

The way she sat there was... humbling.

Like an actual Queen.

A ruler. Blessed.

Strong. Confident. Independent.

They feel...small.

Insignificant.

And she's just sitting there, radiating power and authority from every inch of her being.

"Sit down."

Finally, they're brought out from their reverie by her tone.

She sounded just the same... except a little deeper with a slight rasp, but it just made it all the more intimidating.

They can't shake the feeling that it sounded more like a command than an actual plea.

They almost involuntarily swallowed a lump in their throats before finally taking the first few steps, their eyes never leaving her figure as they move closer.

Gun, slowly walks up to her before stopping right beside her table, Goo following in a timid manner like a puppy.

"I... wanted go talk to you."

"He means we would like to speak with you... if you're okay with that-or we can just fuck off right away-!"

Goo begins, starting out with a pretty decent self assurance, but the more he yapped the more it kept going down the drain. Gun shoots Goo a glance that screams 'I will rip you a new one right here and right now if you don't shut up'. Goo doesn't take the hint and ends up being interrupted by her yet again, which really pisses Gun off.

"I said sit down."

This time, her tone is a bit sharper, and she's havig a harder time keeping her patience grounded.

It's safe to say Gun is visibly annoyed with his partner for making the situation even more awkward and bizarre than it already is. He was tempted to kick the blonde in the shins, but he resists the urge because he's trying to keep his cool right now.

At this point, he just decides to keep his mouth shut and take a seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest as Nova addresses the both of them again.

"Why are you here?"

Flat, unamused.

It's as if her having to even ask that question was bothersome and a waste of her time.

For a moment, they don't really make eye contact with her, refusing to meet her piercing gaze, since hers don't falter even for a moment.

It's almost af if they're a mere pawn in her presence. A small, fragile thing in the face of her strenght and dignity.

Gun, opens his mouth to speak.

Yet, his brain feels like it is filled with static, and he's absentmindedly clutcing against his own trousers by his thighs under the table.

For the first time in a while, he feels intimidated.

What feels like an eternity, he gulps, his voice coming out strained and hoarse.

"W-we know it's been a long time since we have seen each other. And what we did back then was completely unacceptable. We acted like ignorant, self-entitled assholes and we didn't think about how you must have felt."

He pauses to take a deep breath, looking at her in the eyes as he continues speaking, words coming out through gritted teeth.

"We would like to ask for your forgiveness."

There it was.

He said it, and feels like throwing up that second in his mouth.

The plea for such was a foreign concept to him. It tasted bitter and spikey in his mouth, almost like lemon.

The words echo out in the silence that follows, and Gun can feel the weight of them like a physical burden. It's as if he's just ripped our his soul and thrown it out in front of her, exposed and vulnerable.

Goo, beside him, looks as if he's about to faint at any moment. There's sweat beading on his forehead, and his face has gone completely pale, like he's just seen a ghost.

It was so embarrassing.

"Ask for forgiveness, huh?..”

She repeats his words, more as a mutter as her smile pulls at one corner of her lips momentarily, looking out of the window beside her, so very amused.

"I'm not God, who could cleanse you of each and every of your sins, be it ones you tainted my life with, or others'. This isn't the right place for such."

Her words flow bluntly, and with a certain tone of assertiveness.

"I wouldn't have expected the two of you to feel any sort of remorse for what had happened three years ago, since neither of you hesitated to try and break my wings, and confiscate them for yourselves. It makes me wonder... are you two really apologizing from the goodness of your hearts and done some self reflection, or just feel uncomfortable about the fact that both of you have been taken down with ease?"

Each word carries a weight that makes both of their stomachs churn, like a twisted dagger being jammed into their gut and slowly twisted.

Essentially, she's calling them out for being selfish narcissists.

It was as if she's reaching into their souls and holding up a mirror to themselves, a reflection of their own ugly, selfish nature.

Gun's gaze turns a bit confused, his expression shifting from neutral to taken aback slightly.

"You have every right to doubt us... But we are being sincere. We have... reflected on our actions, and came to realize just how awful we've been to you. It's no excuse, nor does it undo what we did."

"That's correct. It's a shame your actions are as bland as your personalities."

She lets out a bitter scoff, cutting into the chocolate cake placed by before her.

"If bravery had a face, it certainly wouldn't look like either of yours' right now. "

She points at both of them through muttered words with her fork, chewing on the sugary pastry with.

That... was definitely not on their bingo cards right now.

Not so much of the answer, but the bluntness wrapped around with venom her words carried.

Goo, looks completely taken aback. Looking around for a moment as if in a search for her audacity, while Gun just looks annoyed.

"Our... actions are bland..?"

He clenches his jaw, now feeling irritated.

"The fact that we are sitting here right now, apologizing to you is because we have the balls to do it. You have no idea how hard this is for us."

"Oh look at the two of you, attempting greatness..."

Her hands fly up gently in feigned shock and surprise, tone flat but laced with the thick undertone of sarcasm.

A second after, her hands fall to her side.

"Pity it's just an attempt. If ignorance was a virtue, you'd both be saints by now."

Keeps it plain as ever, tone emotionless as she goes back to her dessert.

"How about this? Let's operate with sense. It is clear neither of you have much, so we will use my own, okay?"

Hostility.

Gun can barely restrain himself, he looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel in his forehead.

Goo? Oh he has now, just checked out, he knows this is just a battle he cannot win.

"You.. since when do you talk to people like that? Do you have any idea how disrespectful you're being right now??"

His tone is terse, absolutely floored by what he's hearing.

It isn't more so of what she's saying, though safe to say her wit is unmatched.. it's just how she's talking to them.

And Gun, ain't nobody can talk to him such way.

Never could, never will.

"You have no right to talk to us like that, you hear me? You're being disrespectful, and you need to shut your damn mouth before I shut it for you."

The threat slips out before he can stop himself, his anger getting the better of him.

“Watch your tone when you're talking to me.”

And Gun, he freezes.

He, has never heard such authoritative words in his life.

Ever.

It cut through all his senses. Practically rumbled like the a stormy night sky.

That moment, he felt like he was standing before a temple.

Tall, resilient, and gorgeous.

And he was once again, floored.

It's like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped on his head, and suddenly he's realizing just how far over the line he's gone, and he immediately sits up right.

“…did I just straighten myself??”

The blonde next to him, he just zeroes out completely, yet cannot help the chills that fill his body under his clothes.

“You wanna talk about disrespect..?”

She asks, tone flat, gaze heavy.

They can feel their chests tighten, her larger than life presence commanding their full attention even when they can't bring themselves to look up at her.

“I've met scarecrows with more spine than you. Your with is as sharp as a butter knife, and watching the two of you trying to have an argument with me is like witnessing a dance of clumsiness and confusion. I have seen more formidable foes in a toddler's tantrum. Why is it so hard to realize that you two trying to keep communicating your feelings on the ridiculous of the endeavor I'm currently engaged in is nothing but futile?”

As she speaks, she keeps looking between the two like she was talking to two kids.

“Disrespect, eh? Who was the one again who went against my plea of leaving the city alone in the first place and never coming back? You two are the perfect example of how nature experiments with mistakes.”

That went so fucking hard.

Goo just cannot help himself, the surprised scoff of laughter erupts from his lips without any warning, quickly smacking his hand over his mouth.

Gun on the other hand, takes his sunglasses down with a quickness, eyes wide and in disbelief of what he's hearing.

Where is all this hostility coming from?

They cannot help but just stare at her in confusion, Goo's eyes involuntarily twitching through a pained smile.

"What the hell is your problem...”

Gun asks quietly, his voice low, and visibly taken aback.

Nova, just counts to 8, letting out a long sigh while doing so.

“A moment of silence, please, for these poor souls' intelligence... do you not get what I'm saying? An apology isn't needed because I really couldn't give less fucks right now about what happened in the past, and could you please tell your friend here to calm down a little? If he were to be any less threatening right now, he'd be a dandelion.”

The last part was mainly aimed towards Goo, who begins to blink quickly to try and calm his nerves. Not because he was angry, but embarrassed since he lacked the brains to come up with such lines. He was a little jealous, and annoyed he liked her even more now.

After a moment, Gun turns to give Goo a glance. He's able to tell that he's clearly embarrassed and annoyed by the whole situation, and he can't help but share the same feeling himself.

"Wow... we got our asses handed to us again, and we didn't even have to fight."

Goo thinks to himself, visibly zoned out now, while looking at nothing at particular on the table.

Gun knew that coming here was useless, and he turned out to be more than right. The embarrassment he felt was more than bearable.

He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his frustration under control. He knows that they came here expecting a completely different situation than this, and now they're just being talked down to like a bunch of teenagers.

It's not doing good things for his ego, that's for sure.

He looks back at Nova, trying to keep his tone neutral as he speaks again.

"So you don't want an apology, and you don't care about the past. What do you want then? What do we do to make it up to you?"

“Y'all want forgiveness? Fine, you're forgiven. You could both leave now, unless you would want to engage in a fight again, which would be more than just an anticlimax. Your skills are on par with a blindfolded chicken playing hopscotch, and there's no fun in that.”

Both of them remain silent as she continues to speak. Gun can practically feel the blood boiling within his veins, his irritation building up to unbearable levels, while Goo just looks completely defeated. He's already given up the moment she started speaking down to them again.

It's almost comical to watch her just repeatedly and ruthlessly humiliate them, using their own ignorance against them.

Their current situation was nothing more than absolutely diabolical. If it wasn't enough that they couldn't outsmart her during their previous fight, apparently the same could be said about actual smarts.

This woman was too smart for her own good, and their own. The whole time, her tone was razor sharp, blunt and to the point with a gaze most people would shy away from in just a second.

Then again, they both have eyes, and common sense, as much as they lacked of using it being so in the heat of the moment, they could both now notice clearly.

This wasn't the calm, collected, and kind person she once was. Her presence was nothing short of being on edge, tense as all hell, and an undeniable presence of fatigue in her eyes that neither of them could ignore.

Her entire demeanor has become almost cold and distant, her behavior almost the opposite of what she was years ago. There's a hint of melancholy as well, hidden within the sharpness of her silver eyes.

She changed completely.

Despite themselves, their gazes can't help but shift from her face to the tired look in her eyes. It's just so different from how she used to be, that it actually makes them feel a small pang of guilt in their chests.

Well, as much as they’re competent enough to do so.

"We're sorry."

Goo's apology comes out softer than intended, and with a swiftness that even caught Gun off guard.

He didn't understand, since they had already done their due diligence of apologizing, but he tried his best to trust his partner's judgment, letting him continue.

"We shouldn't have come... it's clear as day we disturbed your mental state even more with our presence and over the top behavior. You seem like you already have enough on your plate, we didn't want to add more into that."

Nova's expression shifts to a softer, more tired look as she listens to Goo speak. But then, confusion laces her features, a small frown appearing on her face.

“You have no idea what you're talking about or how I'm feeling. Stop trying to act like we're friends, I don't need you to feel bad for me either.”

Self defense. It was purely that.

Her tone might have been annoyed and distant, but the way her hand twitched, it was more than obvious they struck a cord in her.

From that, Gun can tell that Goo's words have somehow affected her. Maybe he was right, and it bothered her more than she's letting on.

He glances at Goo, giving him a subtle nod to signal him to continuе. Не wants to see if they can get through to her, even just a little bit.

"We would just like to get a small hint into why you're acting and feeling the way you are... a lot had to happen in the three years since we last met..."

Goo continues, almost surprised at how nice he's being all of a sudden.

There is a hint of discomfort in her eyes once she looks back at him. So desperate to try and shield her fury of emotions away, afraid to be vulnerable.

She lets out a sigh, putting her purse in her lap and rummage through it, popping a cigarette between her lips.

“I don't need a therapy session. Especially not by two wonder brats...”

Her exterior hardens once more, lighting her cigarette, and taking a long drag.

Gun leans back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and giving her a steady gaze, trying to keep his annoyance under check. He keeps his tone even as he speaks.

"Maybe you don't need a therapy session, but we're just trying to understand. You've changed, and we want to know why."

“I don't think I owe you any manners or any explanation.”

She grumbles, letting the smoke flow from her lips, and blowing it out.

It's like she's intentionally being difficult just to piss him off.

He leans forward slightly, his gaze hardening as he speaks, his voice laced with a hint of anger.

"You don't owe us anything, that's true. But can't you just... try to talk to us? We're not trying to be difficult here, we're just concerned."

“That's funny.”

She responds with an empty gaze, butting the ashes into her empty wine glass.

“What do you know about being the rag of other people's sorrow?”

There it is.

As she says that, the empty gaze never subsides, putting the cigarette between her lips, she takes another drag while never taking her eyes off of him.

It's like she's dropped a bombshell on him, and they don’t quite understand what she means by it.

He glances at Goo, seeing the same confusion reflected on his face, before looking back at her. He speaks again, his tone softer this time.

"What do you mean by that? What do you mean by 'being the rag of other people's sorrow'?"

Both of them look at her through narrowed eyes, both of their gazes sharp and analyzing as they observe her behavior. She's clearly trying to brush off what they just found out, but it's not working very well.

“I’ve had enough of it.”

She starts out, propping her elbow on the table, eyes visibly softening as she rather stares out the window than to look at them.

“Being kind and all.”

Her eyes may have softened, but there's still a slight undertone of hostility in her voice.

Meanwhile, Goo can tell that she's feeling uncomfortable having those emotions being brought up again, and his expression softens, a hint of sympathy present beneath the concerned frown on his face.

“I wanted to help. From the positivity, the gratitude, from how hopeful and supportive people were, knowing there was someone who was willing to help, and wanted nothing in return.... I was happy, because people were also happy, no matter the morbid nature of it all.”

Goo's expression softens even more as he hears her words, his sympathy growing stronger. Gun's gaze remains on her, his expression stoic but listening intently.

He speaks up again, his tone almost matter-of-factly.

"People took advantage of you, didn't they?"

A small sigh leaves her lips, watching the bustling city outside. The city she raised from the dust while she takes another drag.

“You share secrets under the moonlight; those secrets become weapons against you. You cry in the candlelight, yet your tears can never extinguish the fiery rage of betrayal; and after the last drop of love is squeezed dry from your heart, they toss away your husk of a soul.”

She continues, puffing out one last cloud of smoke as she puts her cigarette out.

“I began to absolutely loathe, detest, revile, denounce my existence with a passion like a furnace... especially when I started to enjoy hurting people more than when I did it out the goodness of my own heart, with the intention to help. Sure, I still did help, but it also momentarily helped me too, to fill that gaping soul in my chest after my patience and kindness had ran thin... I choked on such longing I couldn't spit out. Yes... desire is so different when God bore you hungry.”

Both of the guys listen to her in silent shock, absorbing her every word. Her description of her own experience, her feelings and pain, it's incredibly raw and vulnerable. It's clear that whatever she's been through has left deep scars on her soul.

Yet again, unfortunately it was something unavoidable.

Goo finally speaks up, his tone gentle as he responds to her.

"No wonder you’re so on edge but also seem…a lot more resilient now."

And he meant what he said.

No wonder her sharp eyes are more cutting now. Like she has a 360° vision, yet still..

She still seemed like someone who couldn’t find her place again despite her reflecting on herself.

“Well, my patience has ran thin, and people fail to understand why. I no longer find peace and happiness when helping others. I became indifferent to others' gratitude.”

Her tone now becomes indifferent.

Acceptance. No matter how much kindness you offer, some people will always be selfish and evil individuals.

“... I don't even know who I am anymore...”

Her words are more than enough to further add even more complexity to her feelings, but solidifies Goo’s theory.

She was not only tired, she was also deeply craving for something, some type of satisfaction or relief, the way her eyes almost seem to burn with this strange craving. She's like a starving animal, desperate for something to satisfy her, and desperate to find her purpose again.

“Sometimes I wonder... I'm not sure whether I'm a good person or not anymore... But I hope I am good enough to be loved and appreciated.”

The glimmer of hope that appears in her eyes could be described almost pitiful.

Pitiful, that she had to get here to question her whole existence, and purpose in life.

“I want to be more than my ears...and the arms that offer comfort. More than my power and abilities...To be loved unreasonably, rather than for the fact that I listen when the rest of the world goes quiet, or throwing myself into pits of the danger and despair. I chose this life, I'm well aware... but it matters not how selfless you are when people would still rather continue to take more and more of you.”

Her words start to have a profound impact in both of them. An individual who has given and given, and only recently realized that she has given a bit too much to get nothing in return.

And the pain and longing in her eyes... both of them can see it clearly, and it seems to only get even more intense as she speaks. The depth of her feelings is almost palpable, and it's clear that she's been holding it in for a long time.

“I keep convincing myself I do not mind being the rag of other people's sorrow... Yet I find I am no longer durable, sinking in the mix of theirs and my grief. A source of therapeutic conversations, yet never unplanned ones. Talk to a friend, a real friend who truly knows my aspirations rather than my soothing words. Who truly knows the stones that fill my chest as I devour their rocks. Then them bubbling into a foam after a while, ceasing to exist in their minds."

She lets out a long sigh, playing with the dessert fork she has not long ago put down absentmindedly, and puts her cigarette out.

“Who am I if not threaded cloth, a person who heals while avoiding healing herself... As I remember the tears absorbed by an overgrown mold, consuming me till I am nothing more but a manmade stream, who flows towards an unfamiliar rage.”

This time, her tone is more strained, doing her damned best to stop the wave of emotions trying to break free and roll of her tongue, eyes unfocusing into nothing particular.

“What was I made for?.. Or rather am I made for something beyond inherited love. Something beyond the power I hold and the actions I take. If I really am slowly becoming what I try so hard to cleanse the world from? Can I be loved without being convenient?..”

And she whispers the last part, turning to them, catching despair flashing through her eyes.

“Even if I'm unsure whether I'm an actually good person to begin with?”

And both of them knew, in that moment, that they couldn't really give an answer to her.

Unfortunately, neither of them could understand that level of sacrifice.

Slowly becoming the exact same thing she loathed the most and tried to get rid of.

“It's hard to make up an answer... isn't it?”

She asks softly, a bitter smile painted her lips as she keeps her eyes trained on them both.

“I understand. Every time I try to do so myself, it feels like chasing a shadow… whenever I get hold of it, it slips through my fingers, until I’m left with nothing again.”

Was there even a right answer to give?

Who's to say what she's feeling isn't just a reflection of others'? Or their perception?

Was there even a satisfying answer to give her?

They couldn't. They haven't walked even a minute in her shoes.

It was all a hard pill to swallow.

So much was said, so much was shared they felt like they were drowning in her maelstrom of emotions.

They could never understand that level of self sacrifice, that was bordering on self sabotage as well.

Neither of them has ever been in a situation like this before, where they couldn't find any words to say in the face of that level of vulnerability and pain. And it's a difficult realization to bear, knowing that their perspectives and experiences fall short of truly understanding what she's going through.

What more was there to even left to say? They came here to apologize, yet in the end, they got more than they bargained for.

Eventually, she lets out a long sigh.

“Before I go, thank you... for taking the time out of your days to come see me personally and apologize. I accept it... but regarding the two of you asking for forgiveness...”

The corners of her lips pull back slightly, sucking in her teeth as she places the fork down she unintentionally bent a little between her hands.

“You can't undo the pain you brought to others. In order to find peace in yourself and the situation, is to eventually forgive the cruelty that no longer resides within, and to accept the fact that they may always see that inhumanity in you... and it is in their every right to never forgive.”

Once she speaks again, they both can feel the meaning behind those words, and the gravity of what she's saying. They might have come here to apologize, but her response is more than well- earned.

She doesn't forgive them.

Gun and Goo both remain silent, their gazes respectfully cast down to the ground. They don't know what to say, but they can respect her decision.

Was that really it?

They still had so many unanswered questions left.

What's her backstory? How did she get so strong? What's her limit? What did she display back then?

Are they friends of allies? If not, will she seek vengeance against them once in the future?

Perhaps it's better to stay with curious sometimes. She's clearly in a vulnerable position, and would rather be elsewhere than here.

They both watch her slowly stand up, patting down her dress to flatten the wrinkles out, purse in one hand.

She hums softly, glancing at them both.

“But thank you. You made me realize it's time for me to re-evaluate my life decisions.”

A soft smile is the only thing she can give them, for now.

“And you two… take your own paths in life. Don’t let yourselves be used by others, even if it seems like there is no choice. There always is.”

She says softly, signing the bill after she pays.

“Regarding our fight and the defeat the two of you experienced..”

Her eyes sharpen slightly, a smile of someone like a Goddess paints her features, and they brace themselves.

“You have been praying so long for the strength to outlive the pain your past inflicted on you, that you have forgotten- you are already strong. That heart of yours was crafted from the same clay as that of Achilles, last true warrior on the sands of Troy, fighting a war that was years long. Do you think Achilles wept over the fates of the lesser warriors who tried and failed to slaughter him? Do you think you should lose sleep over the lesser people who tried to drown you in sorrow and hoped you couldn't swim? Listen to your heart. You have seen crueler battlefields than this. If you were so resilient through them, then you know in your heart, you will survive this.”

Now that.. was a speech.

“So long boys... we might meet again. Perhaps as foes or enemies, I'll let faith make that decision.”

And with that, they can only watch her retreating form, the clicking of her heels growing softer and softer, until she disappears from their vision.

Her words only further the impact, and both of them can't help but see their own journey and hers in a new light...

A star that has finally grown tired of burning up with no one to notice it... now preparing to transform into a collapsed, black hole, in the hopes of becoming something greater.

Everything that they learned, all of her feelings and confessions... the complexity of her circumstances and background, the way she spoke about her life, the pain that she's been through, the emotions that she's been keeping hidden and bottled up for her whole life...

They had gone into this meeting expecting a simple apology and an explanation. Instead, they had gotten much more than they bargained for. Her words had touched on something deeply profound, something that they were both still trying to fully understand.

Finally, Gun breaks the silence, his voice contemplative.

"That was... a lot to take in."

"Right... And I couldn't even confess to her."

Of course Jongoo comes with his usual idioticy, making Gun's head fall on the table, forehead down with a thud, letting out a loud sigh.

"Are you serious..? That's all you've got to say after all that?"

He lifts his head up and shoots Goo a sidelong glare, his eyes tired and incredulous.

"Well, as she said, we might meet again either way, so I'm still somewhat hopeful."

Gun lets out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head slightly.

"...I swear down on my nans grave, one day I will fold you up like a paper plane, and throw you into outer space."

"...you're so abusive."

“And you’re insufferable. A match made in hell.”

[ravers8fantasy]

Punch out locker room mishaps: world circuit💥🤑

The world circuit locker room would be bougie af, im talking like proper yknow

Super macho man is abbreviated to SMM cus no way am I doing allat

Sandman feels like he is baby sitting half the time because of the amount of bs that happens in the world circuit locker room

SMM has a double door locker (hell yeah) with photos of himself hanging inside of it

He calles it the 'super shrine', the other boxers think its the stupidest thing ever and soda takes the photos and puts them in the toilet cus why not

When Aran first joined no one knew what the flip he was saying, especially bald bull so he just told Aran to shut up whenever he spoke

Soda is too tall, the W.B.V.A had to install signs to the top of door frames because he kept walking into them

Sandman has watched Aran try break into his locker so many times now its become a normal sight for him

Every one is tired of Aran, bald bull has literally started a fist fight with him which ended up with Aran getting locked inside a locker for 2 hours

Sandman tried making peace between all the other boxers by making a group chat

Aran left it after bald bull kept thinking he was English, SMM thought it was a spam from crazy fan's and sent some stuff before leaving, bald bull said "fuck off" and left as soon as he saw SMM send a thirst trap and Soda was never added because he doesnt have a phone

Aran has to be searched and patted down before walking into the locker room before a match because of all his cheating scandals

When little Mac joined, Aran LOVED to not only make fun of his boxer name but also harrased him pranked him like taking his towel whilst he was using the shower and hid his stuff

Sandman made the others do a temporary alliance to beat up Aran and get poor Mac's stuff back

SMM loves the floor length mirrors in the locker room, his whole social page is full of just him flexing in that same mirror

One time he accidentally got sandman in the background looking absolutely unimpressed and it became a meme for a while

He also caught the fist fight between bald bull and aran in the background of one of his thirst traps as well

Soda's locker is full of 'juice' cartons, he doesnt need space for a gym bag because he's hidden it somewhere underneath the floor tile's somehow

Aran once head butted a wall at full force whilst trying to pick a fight with sand man

Not only did he knock himself out but he also managed to break through the dry wall and left a massive hole in the wall

Soda blasts russian hard bass/techno whilst showering and shouts the lyrics, everyone hates it.

"hell yeah bro's, I was like-

"U SO SEXY RUSSIAN GIRL Прыгай в мой фургон-танцпол"

"uh anyway yeah like as I was saying I totes like hit-

"ABSOLUT HARD BASS. RUSSIAN PARTY IN KAMAZ"

"oh now what the flip. What the flip brah thats so not cool"

Aran often crashes SMM's interviews, and shouts random things in the background (these are all being recorded by the way)

The last time it happened he shouted "OI SUPER MACHO MAN, I KNOW A SECRET ABOUT YOU MATE THAT PEOPLE MIGHT CALL A COMING OUT" (heh nikita mazepin and george russel f1 reference wait wrong fandom-)

Bull and sandman are pretty chill with eachother (on a good day which is once every couple of months), Sandman offers contructive critisism which helps Bull in the long run

Soda also gets help from sandman, Soda then tries to use the tips he heard from sandman in the ring, Soda then blacks out from drinking too much and loses

Aran makes fun of Soda's fear of horses by wearing one of those rubber horse masks (Aran is scared of flying in planes)

When Soda saw it he jumped and slapped the horse mask full force, if you know how silly it looks then you would know why bull started cackling

SMM and bald bull made a truce once, bull trapped Aran in a headlock whilst SMM took all of Aran's cheating stuff and handed it into the W.B.V.A officials

Ya cant be mad at them they were sick of getting hit in the face with his flying rope punching glove

---------------------------------------------------

Help why did I struggle sm doing this💔 thats all the locker room mishaps done, I fear this is only the beginning I have sm more planned keep grinding chat ill see ya next time 😈😈

[sweetieviktor]

viktor x librarian!reader (headcanons + tiny scenarios)

summary: how you've meet each other, when you feel in love and your first exchange of "i love you"s.

content warning: just tooth rotting fluff and cuteness between those two. :D

author notes: i know that sooo many people writed this same idea but i can't help it, it's just so cute and so good to write!! when i was writing, the words came almost instantly and gods, i love to write fluff so much!! oh, and today, when i was re-reading this with my friend i was thinking the whole time "damn i love him" ((and i was awoken until 3am yesterday trying to finish this one but i feel sleep and couldn't end it, but i finished it this morning and now, at night time, im posting in here! anyways, hope you guys like it. :)

» the moment the doors hang open, you turn to see who it is, and as you do so, the whole world stops.

» the prettiest man you've ever seen in your life just came into the library you work in. literally, the prettiest man.

» the way his fluffy hair falls around his face and his curious eyes keep looking at everything, scanning all corners of the room, every little thing he can, shining whenever he sees something he likes.

» and his boyish little smile, barely showing his teeth, that he was giving while talking to a furry someone just by his side.

“oh hi, dear friend!” waving, heimerdinger spoke, walking with tiny, fast steps in your direction, pausing when he was close to you. meanwhile the boy beside him was walking a little slower, his cane thudding softly against the floor.

he stopped near the yordle and looked at your face, giving a polite smile, offering to you his non-occupied hand, and you shaked it, giving him a smile of yours. “i’m viktor, heimerdinger's assistant. he said you could help me with some resources i might need, and i would very much appreciate any help your books could provide.”

“i hope you don't mind him coming here to do some researches, friend. he may come here often!” the yordle laughed, looking between the two of you and then walking away.

“ehhh.. so, do you have any books about-”

» basically, this is how you and viktor knew each other, through a friend in common. and, from this day on, he came to the library more and more often.

» at first, he just showed up, asked for a book you could provide and got out of the establishment. then, he tried to strike up a small talk with you whenever he was waiting for you to look up said books. now, he just straight up rants about any experiment he may be doing at the time.

» and if you're genuinely interested in his rant, he could go for hours just explaining every little detail to you, and he would love every second of it.

» because now he is a regular, you just analyze what he is up to in the most recent days and choose some books that might be useful to him, putting them in the drawer, below the reception desk. and when this happened for the first time he was almost flustered, because you cared enough to look up, sort and search for things that he didn't even asked for.

when you heard the door swing open, you looked at it's direction, smiling as you realized who it was. “hey, viktor! welcome again!” it was the third time this week he got to the library, looking for the same type of books, so you just worked a bit ahead this time. “i don't know if it is exactly what you need but i think that you could use these ones, they have some information you might like.”

“but i still didn't ask for anything..?” he stared at you with a puzzled face, trying to understand why you were giving him those.

“i just think it goes along with your research. also, i wanted to help.” you shrugged, smiling brightly at him.

and maybe this was when he thought for the first time “damn.. i might be in love.”

» after this, he always tried to stay closer to you, to say things you might like, to show you that he cared for you just as much as you cared for him.

» he even brought coffee (he got sweet milk for himself) and pastries for you both to share one day. and this was for sure one of the best excuses to transform a boring afternoon with no clients, into a lazy reading session, this, of course, until a client came and ruined the cutesy atmosphere between the two of you.

» of course he thought about asking you out before, but it was hard. he wasn't used to the feeling of love, of liking someone so deeply like this. so what could he do besides admire you everyday he was in your library? look at you with pure adoration, chuckle lightly whenever you said something that wasn't even that funny, and after it all just show you the most beautiful, bright and in love smile.

» he didn't like to belittle himself, but he really think you would be better with someone that wasn't him. you were so different, yet so alike him, it almost felt like it was meant to be.

» then, in one of his “oh, i will stay here for 15 more minutes and then i'll go home” times (that never lasted 15 minutes, to be honest), it was almost closing time, all of your coworkers were in their homes, no more clients in, simply, not a soul in there. only you both.

» you kept looking in his direction from afar, thinking to yourself how could you get someone so intelligent, so brilliant, so beautiful, so... him. you knew what you wanted, but again, it was hard. and, if saying your feelings out loud was way too scary, writing it all down seemed easier. so, you picked up a pen and a paper, writing in it everything that was inside your chest, your heart. you poured all your feelings into every word that you scribbled down.

» until you heard him packing up his stuff. you started to panic, and now there was only two options, leave the paper as it was and try to act neutral, or try to hide it and look even more nervous? well, there's no time to think! he was already in front of you while your head was spiraling nonstop.

“hey... you are fine? you look stressed.” he examined your face, tilting his head to the side, admiring every little feature of yours. your pretty eyes, your nose, your kissable lips...

“yes! i'm completely fine, no need to worry!” you put your hands on top of the little confession, smiling anxiously, hoping that he don't notice the sweet words you wrote down just for him.

“oh, what did you got there?” he looked at the paper, then at you, and back to paper. on a common day you would like to have his focus only on you, but it was making you even more nervous now, your stomach was turning itself, your hands were cold and trembling. and when he noticed it, he took your hand in his, and you could feel that he was shaking too. “hey... look,” he took a deep breath, almost like he didn't want to continue, like he was still choosing the right words to say. “i understand that some things we just want to keep them personal, only for ourselves. so, ehh, you don't have to show me what you wrote.”, he said with a nervous smile displayed on his lips, while caressing your knuckles with an almost feather-like touch, too afraid to ruin the moment and lose you right now.

and you didn't want to lose him too. even with your brain telling you that you shouldn't tell him, your heart knew you needed to say it, breaking itself or not. so it was now or never. “well... recently i've been thinking about our friendship, about what it could possibly be, about you.” you averted your gaze to the ground, wishing that you came up with fancier words and a better way to confess to him before it all, but you couldn't turn back now. “honestly i can't stop thinking about you, it's like you consumed every logical thought in my brain, everything that wasn't... you.” finally you looked at his eyes, just to see he already looking at you, eyes finally shining for you, because of you. “i love you, viktor. with everything in me, i really love you.” it seemed so right to say these three little words to him, to let him know how you felt since the first time you've seen him.

“and i love you too.” he came closer to you, still with his hand on yours, but now holding it gently, intertwining your fingers together, pressing quickly his lips in yours, smiling in pure awe, completely lovestruck after it. “i love you more than anything, my little star.”