#I GOTTA FIX ALL MY LADS

[coccineum-vocatorem]

de-babyfies him YOU'RE WELCOME

[soupmanspeaks]

something something glammike thing where annoying ghost hunters come to the pizzaplex and ask questions about william and the MCI and the hauntings and some influencers rent the place from time to time for that sweet sweet fazclout and this really peeves glamfreddy because Michael knows firsthand that this isn't something you really want to poke about (maybe for the fun of it, and CC's personal suggestion, Glamfreddy makes a snide comment about biting the ghost hunters lol)(they probably know what it means lmao)

[muntadhir]

yuletide nominations started earlier today! i put in carlo + geppetto + p so far

if anyone wants to coordinate lies of p nominations, feel free to hit me up! my tungle dash still looks like this so i recommend dming me on bluesky LOL

i try to remember to check tungle at least every few days but I'm not sure i'd be able to tell i had a new inbox message here even if i did 😂

(also i'll try to keep my eyes peeled for when the spreadsheet goes up for coordinating noms, yeehaw)

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

1k / 39 / post-apocalypse au, part 3

...

By the time Soap eases himself off of Roach’s back and Ghost hauls him into what must be the infirmary cabin, you turn around to find the camp’s gates shut tight and fortified in preparation for nightfall. One way in, one way out, as with any smart semi-permanent settlement. You’re locked into the squad’s camp. Not on purpose, Price tells you. But you swear there’s amusement behind his eyes.

No good deed goes unpunished.

It’s more of an encampment than a settlement, with log buildings and structures everywhere. Looks like something they fixed up into someplace livable. Nicer than most hovels you’ve seen since society crunched under the boot heel of chemical warfare. You’re tempted to root around the place, get a better look around inside, too, but going inside somewhere enclosed makes you feel itchy now. You sit outside at the campfire instead, leaning back against the massive, furry flank of your snoozing dog.

Price looks at you over the fireside, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. His blue eyes seem to be analyzing you.

Roach sleeps next to you, one of his front paws flopped over your leg. It must be nice to be able to go to sleep that fast, no worrying about what the morning could bring.

You don't look at Price for a long time. But the more you concentrate on looking away, the more irritated you get. You pull at the grass. Finally, you glance back. He doesn’t politely avert his eyes. That irritates you even more.

"What?" you snap at him.

Price shrugs, not at all bothered. "Just checking you out." He takes a drag of his cigarette, leans back, and eyes you. "Smoke?"

"Where the hell are you getting cigarettes? You live in the middle of the woods."

He chuckles. "Trade with some of the settlements a way away. Cigarettes always make good bartering chips."

"Not if you smoke 'em all up."

"Gotta indulge where I can." He blows a stream of smoke away from you. "Here."

He's right, too. He hands you a cigarette.

A few minutes later, you're enjoying it, letting the nicotine soak in after a long day. That's still one favor you owe Soap and now one to Price.

"Your dog got a name?" Price asks as he lights his own next cigarette."

"Roach."

"What's his deal? Mutie hound?"

"He was my dog before he went all..." You square your hands. "Big. So he listens to me."

Price eyes the beast. "Sure he does. Must be conveneint, being able to tell him to sit there and keep your feet warm, huh?"

You take another drag, leaning forward a bit more toward the fire. "Sure is. Slobber everywhere, though. And the farts he rips..."

"Worse than the mutagen?"

"Exactly. Chemical warfare."

He chuckles. "Soap mentioned you once or twice. Never a dog, though."

"I thought I lost him to the forest." You glance at Price sideways. "What did Soap say?"

"Eh. He says too much."

"Right."

"Just said you're scrappy for a civvy. Pretty scrappy, period." He takes in another drag. "Seemed fond of it."

You scoff. Civvy. Is that what you are? But you don't pick a fight about it. The cigarette is good. You feel like you could lay down in front of this fire and sleep. Maybe you will.

Price doesn't say anything more. The silence is comfortable. You take in the atmosphere. It's peaceful, really: the fire warm and bright, the forest sounds and the smell of smoke mixing pleasantly with the cloud of nicotine in your lungs.

Price takes another drag. "Soap's a good lad, even if he can't quite stop shooting his mouth off."

"How many of those you got?"

"Cigarettes?"

"Mhm."

"How many you tryna borrow?"

"Another one."

"You'll get hooked if you're not careful."

"Indulging where I can, aren't I?"

"You are at that." Price hands you another with a smirk. "And a handful. You know, that dog of yours is a lot of muscle. We could use that."

"You're not the first one to think that, old man. He only listens to me, so don't get any nasty ideas about offing me and stealing him."

Price smirks. Sounds like you have experience dealing with other survivors. "Wouldn’t be a bad trade-off," he says, shifting into a lazier position as he stares into the fire. "Might anyways. Can't imagine keeping a dog that size just for a foot warmer. That beast's gotta be put to use. Turn him into a war hound or something." He takes another drag. "Can't imagine Soap'd be happy about you gettin' killed, though. Or the other lads, for that matter."

You smirk. You can tell he's got a dry sense of humor. You do, too. "Can't kill civvies, can you?"

"You're hardly a civvy," Price mutters under his breath. "Civvies're tame."

"Shame. Guess you're not getting my dog."

"Pity." Price taps his cigarette ash into the dirt. "Got a lot of cigarettes and nobody to smoke 'em."

"Thought you bartered them."

"Just getting a head start in case the trading starts to slow down. Keeps the supply low." Price takes in another drag. "But suit yourself. Best to leave before you get hooked."

He flicks the cigarette into the fire and walks away. You watch the flames and feel the warm lure of sleep pull you closer. It's like another favor for a favor, isn't it? Roach's aid and yours in exchange for a full night of rest and another day of cigarettes and food. Maybe two days. Just enough to recharge and get enough sleep. Enough for Roach to recover.

You curl into Roach's side, closing your eyes. Just another day or two. That's all. Then you'll vanish.

Roach nudges you as you nestle into his fur. You're exhausted, but you're also safe and more or less relaxed for the first time in days--weeks--and your mind finally starts to slow down.

The fire crackles gently in front of you. Roach snores quietly, content to keep you company through the long, quiet, dark night.

For the first time in a long time, you feel warm and safe. It's not much. But it's enough.

You let your eyes close and finally succumb to sleep.

...

part 1 / part 2 / [part 3]

more Price / more Soap / masterlist

[pakunod-a]

Silly Prom Night

Prompt: It's prom night! What do these men do in the ballroom? 🤨

Pairing: Overblot boys x Reader

Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil (I) [here]

Vil, Idia, Malleus (II) [here]

CW: Random stuff, not really fanfiction-ish, more like drabbles, some shorter than others lolololololololololol Reader is referred to as You and Yuu. Reader is described to wear a gown, other than that it's gender-neutral if you don't mind the fabric gap. Bad English because I'm not a native English speaker :( not proof-read, random as FUCK and characters might seem very ooc if they do I blame my not-so-American education

Notes: entire work is based off of stuff that happened to me last night at prom, and i was thinking about various characters that would probably fit the profile of all the mishaps that happened to me last night lolololol

Work under the cut :)

Riddle Rosehearts !

You were sitting at your table, waiting for the buffet service to end so you could take the dance floor.

Well, it's not like anyone's dancing with you.

To be fair, you were supposed to be partnered with a first-year, who got sick the night before, so he couldn't make it. Poor lad.

It was horribly long, it felt like a very, very long time.

It took around thirty minutes for the dance to start, and everybody's got a partner.

All, except for you.

What a bummer.

Wait, is that the housewarden of Heartslabyul, in the corner, without anyone asking him to dance?!

Let's go fix that. 🏃

You ask him if he wants to dance, and he simply says;

"No."

"Come on, it's a ball, you're supposed to dance. You're getting there whether you like it or not. This long ass dress won't stop me from dragging you on the dance floor."

You ended up having a half-hearted Riddle dance with you.

Honestly, the way he held you felt like he wasn't interested at all, let alone happy. It felt like he was disgusted by your presence.

Every time you'd look at him, he would have an unpleasant look on his face, and aim his gaze elsewhere.

After the dance is over, and everyone returns to their seats, and you get a notification from your phone on Magicam. It was Cater, tagging you in a post.

"So cute! I'm vouching for RiddeYuu next year. #RiddeYuu #YuuRid"

..huh. Attached to the post was a video, and a bunch of hashtags you swear you didn't care about. You clicked the video, thinking that it was some kind of impractical prank being played on you.

Oh boy.

Boy, were you wrong.

In the video, it was you and Riddle dancing together on the dance floor. Riddle was a mess, blushing and shying away from all the lights. He had a small smile, as he evaded your gaze whenever you looked at him. He seemed genuinely happy to dance with you.

Maybe he wasn't disgusted after all.

Maybe he really did love dancing with you.

Leona Kingscholar !

You couldn't count the number of times this guy stepped on the hem of your train.

It's like your hair being pulled out of your skull, except it's your entire body being pulled back like a slingshot.

It wasn't the most fun experience.

Then, you had to pick a partner to dance with for the nth time this evening.

Your feet hurt already, how much more dancing?

Surprisingly, even though you had little to no interest in dancing, a certain sleepy lion approaches you with a scowl on his face.

"C'mon herbivore, chop chop. Vargas says I gotta dance for extra credit. You look like you could use it too."

This feels and sounds condescending.

He's pretty nice to dance with, doesn't step on the hem of your train anymore, nor does he step on your feet.

On the contrary, he scoops up the longer part of your train whenever you'd have a hard time walking somewhere.

Other times, he straight up carries you like you're a cat.

It's funny, really.

There was this one instance where you mentioned you wanted ice cream.

He set you down on his chair near his party's table, and disappeared. He actually came back with half-eaten ice cream

You love your sleepy lion, even if he seems a little TOO catty at times. :)

You eventually got too tired to dance, and just sat down. Leona napped on your shoulder.

How sickeningly cute.

Azul Ashengrotto !

Where there is bank to be made, Azul Ashengrotto's the merchant's name.

Seriously, this guy's part of the catering group for the buffet.

Bro did NOT stop making deals at a school function. The grind never stops, respect for that.

You'll probably end up selling your kidney and a lung if you stayed there any longer.

Buuuuut, he does need a dancing partner.

So what say you, if he offered you a slice of mango graham cake and a cup of coconut jelly with a side of gelato in exchange for a dance?

Hell yeah. sorry to the readers that dont have a sweet tooth, have some roasted garlic and onions.

He wasn't too bad honestly, never stepped on your feet once.

You do remember having two gold bracelets on your hands.

He admired one for a quick moment, and it seemed to disappear.

Now, he wouldn't go around stealing stuff from anybody.

No no.

He found it on the floor, while you were too busy dancing.

You want it back?

"Three more dances. Then I'll give you your bracelet back. After all, what's a precious bracelet in exchange for a few dances, no?~"

"You're wasting my time, screw you."

You ended up dancing with him, ten times.

Not thrice.

Ten.

Bro just exploited the jewelry glitch, and wore you out all night.

"Oh, poor Yuu, however will you get back home? If you promise to help out at Mostro Lounge, I'll have you home in a jiffy—"

Thud.

You fell on the ground, snoring.

Oh. You're asleep now. That's convenient.

Don't worry, he'll carry you back home to Ramshackle, free of charge.

After all, dancing with him all night must've tired you out.

He'll just repay the favor.

Surely, that would be the more gentlemanly thing to do.

Jamil Viper !

Would you believe me if I said this guy was in the corner, squinting his eyes as he looked for someone?

Oh. Dude must be looking for Kalim. Fortunately for him, he's over by the second-year's table, away from him.

Hold on.

Away from him???

But the Octotrio sits at that very table.

The Leech twins and Azul Ashengrotto himself?!

Hell no!

Jamil sprints half a mile across the ballroom in an attempt to sweep Kalim away.

"You shouldn't be sitting with them. They're not exactly the type of people you should be socializing for this type of event."

Not even a few seconds later, Kalim trips on a giant camera stand.

He face-planted into the ground, his nose bleeding from hitting the ground too hard. He still has that stupidly goofy smile on his face.

It honestly gives you cuteness aggression.

He had to be brought to the infirmary.

Poor Jamil, he really doesn't get a break.

It's not until he gets dragged to the dance floor, does he leave Kalim's side.

Let me tell you, once this guy relaxes, DAMN can he dance.

He could be blindfolded and spun around five times, and he'd STILL have the balance and elegance of a ballerina.

Work it girl, show those students who's boss.

note: "which events were these inspired from?" oh wow i thought youd never ask let me give you a tour of my brain juice i used to write this real quick and indulge myself in an immersive storytelling 🤜💥����

For Riddle: when i got called up for my award, there was a boy who also won the same award in the male category. we were instructed to dance together, for the Royalty dance. i thought he was disgusted because i was holding him, so i felt uncomfortable dancing with him. in a video posted by my schoolmate, they tagged me in a video of him looking at the camera and smiling as he waved. he looked half pale and half pink.

For Leona: while dancing for the "waltz" part of the prom, i felt hungry and told my dancing partner i was hungry, but they wouldnt let me back into the buffet because my dress almost took up the entire line for the buffet, so i either had to ask someone to get it for me or have my homeroom teacher get it for me. he eventually sat me on a chair, and ran back with ice cream from the dessert bar. he did eat the whipped cream and cherries, so i made him go back and get another.

For Azul: this one student was working behind the counter at the buffet, and he was jokingly stealing his dance partner's earrings, necklace, and bracelets while she wasnt looking. he said it costs three waltzes for a singular piece of jewelry to be reclaimed, but if she danced to a budots remix, she'd get everything back. she waltzed for more than seven times until she collapsed onto a couch and snored for an hour straight. she did get her jewelry back, and she resumed dancing with our Azul-like classmate.

For Jamil: i saw someone slip and their friend was scolding them for not being careful. he sat down at the table full of people who dont like him, and he got an earful from his friend on why he shouldnt sit there. his friend reminded me of Jamil so much, i had to write him like that.

[skyward-floored]

Dawn part 4 analysis, here we go! At it again with my ramblings.

Starting off with THE GLORIOUS RETURN OF THE MAILMAN! The moment I saw the flag I was like :O HE’S BACK!!!

(I also got the blue’s clues mail song stuck in my head)

Hey look, it’s Warriors’ money! And the inkeeper who’s happily admiring the ridiculous amount of rupees Warriors now does not own!

Rip Warriors’ money. It will be dearly missed.

Also no vacancy?? I mean, it’s possible there’s other people staying there, or it’s just a small inn, but... it kinda looks like Warriors literally bought every available room there was. Mad lad.

I (like everybody else lol) took a crack at figuring out who’s signature was who’s, based on their respective game’s Hylian texts/scripts, order of when they got there, and the OG tags on the comic. So here’s my best guesses—

1. Time is first, which makes sense based on him being the one to take Twilight to the inn

2. Hyrule appears to be next— his games don’t have a written script, but the hylian here is close to Legend’s, so I’m assuming it’s his, based on the fact that he was part of the next group to get to the inn.

3. Four is who I’m least sure about I’ll admit, but seeing as how he came with Hyrule, (and he’s the only Link left I couldn’t identify at all), I’m assuming it’s his.

4. Warriors we know for sure, since the tags say this signature is his. He gets a shout out for being the only Link who can actually write in the lines.

5. Wind seems to be next, as his hylian is very close to what’s here (his signature partially obscures Warriors’ XD)

6. Legend is who I’m going with for this one, but I’ll admit it could be Wild’s since their script is pretty darn close. But once again, based on when they all got to the inn, Legend would make the most sense to be here.

7. Sky is definitely here. His hylian is very unique compared to the others (I think it’s my favorite)

8. Wild is probably next, but same case as Legend, they could be swapped. But once again, probably not, since Wild was the last to get inside.

9. Twilight bringing up the rear! His hylian is unmistakable, and it makes sense that he’d mark his name last. I don’t think he could handle it until he woke up that morning, though I do wonder which arm he wrote it with...

(Rip Mr. Mailman in trying to figure all this out)

Moving on!

It’s gotta be close to mid-morning by now based on the light, but Sky obviously does not handle waking up at dawn well. It’ll be interesting to see if he stays sleepy during the rest of this arc, or if he'll wake up a bit.

(Side note, Sky looks so soft and fluffy here, I want to hug him)

Sky is so relatable in this update, he’s got some serious “I have no idea what’s going on” vibes. That first one he's got such a deer in the headlights look XD

The mailman is just like “you! I’ve been looking for you! Great to see you!” and Sky’s just “I have never met this man in my life” (probably forgot he actually did see him once (because he’s sleepy))

Four letters, all different languages and dialects... I’m guessing at least one Zelda based on the seal on that blue letter (it seems fancier to me), but I don’t know about the rest. I would guess Malon for one, and maybe another Zelda? Warriors or Wild or Four’s Zelda maybe? Maybe Twilight got a letter from someone in Ordon, or the Resistance!

Only thing I do know is that there’s probably not one for Sky, since he wasn’t immediately like “letter for me! :D”

Four trying to do something nice and fix Wild’s sword and this guy just laughs at him, rude 😤 At least he didn’t make a short joke, which was honestly what I was expecting. I mean I get knowing that your equipment won’t be enough for the job, but sheesh.

(Also the blacksmith’s goggles look a bit like Gondo’s in skyward sword’s, plus the ones the rescue knights wear, thought that was interesting).

(Cool pose mode: engaged)

I love this panel!! They all decided to follow Four and help him out just like they did last time, fix the sword and get Wild a good, reliable weapon.

I’ve also never noticed how similar these guy’s hair looks before, especially Warriors and Hyrule’s— if Rulie’s hair was a little shorter and blonde, it would be pretty near identical. Very interesting...

(Plus Wind has the funniest expression, he's so cute)

We interrupt this rambly analysis to bring you a brief moment of me yelling about Warriors' smile ABHDGFSFKHSBBG LOOK AT HIM that stupid cocky grin and the way he's rolling up his sleeve I'm *swoon*

Four absolutely losing it over Warriors’ jab about teamwork is SO funny, Captain you have no idea how good your joke was. (also Four, bud, you good? Little hysterical there pal)

Also he looks so happy!!! Compare that to any of the faces he was making the night before, he's doing so much better. I’m so glad he’s happy and smiling now, even if it was just at a dumb joke :)

I don’t even have anything to say about this panel. Just look at it. Glorious.

And one last thing...

MULTILINGUAL WARRIORS HOLY CROW that's such a cool trait to give him, I am in love with it now that's awesome.

An amazing update as always, it was fantastic all around <3

[firewalkzwit]

arabella // hobie brown x reader (one-shot)

oneshot of hobie trying to pursue a reader who's effortlessly cool and has strong arabella vibes cuz i love that vibe. inspired some on slc punk and sex pistols lore, cool fic for the music enthusiasts

New girl's hip New girl's cool New girl's interesting New girl's hot.

"She came straight out of 70's New L.A. She's no rockstar's girlfriend, she's a rockstar herself! Crazy hair, mysterious bassist, she's from outer space."

AO3

And when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams...

"Ay, who's the new girl?" Was the first thing Hobie asked as he nudged Pav's shoulder, not breaking his intense stare at the new recruit. 

"New girl? Oh that's YN." Pav shifted his narrowed eyes into Hobie's, a teasing grin drawing on his face.

"Yea' but what's her full name...?"

"Go ask her yourself man, everyone calls her YN." Hobie never got her name, she refused to be called anything but those particular initials.

To say she was pretty was an understatement. She was stunning, show-stopping, alluring. 

At least to Hobie, all adjectives were perfectly applicable.

She had this quirk, this confidence and these slight Chrissie Hynde vibes, boldness when she spoke that made her so attractive, and to top it she was a great musician. 

Back in her dimension it was the seventies, and she was the leader of a girl band where she played the bass, doing small gigs in downtown New L.A.

She wore flamboyant black cowboy boots and scandalous skirts, with chunky sunglasses that looked like the eyes of a bug. She had crazy hair and wore Vivienne Westwood's accessories on her pierced ears and fingers before it was even cool in the US. Her dark tights were always ripped but she didn't care, she called it a fashion statement. So did she call her Spidey suit, which had a unique design that caught anyone's attention. 

Love was for posers Hobie thought, but what's more punk than going against your own structures?

"Gwendy I gotta' talk to this girl more." Hobie's frustration was something Gwen wasn't used to seeing. His nature was often relaxed, only energic when invited to disrupt the order, but hardly ever frustrated.

"Well, you don't have to." Gwen shrugged as she tried to mask the frown that was forming in her face, but her wrinkled nose gave away her displease of jealousy.

"I know, but I want to." His attention was fixed on YN, how she moved and talked. "I wanna hear her play. You're a girl right? When you girls think a lad's fit, how much of that comes from his coolness?" He asked as he leaned on Gwen's side, resting his body weight on her. She scoffed in disbelief at the absurdity of his question, something only a man could ask. 

"Since when do you want to conform to the arbitrary standards of women?"

"I don't, I just wanna' know how many I can get away with breaking and she can still like me yea'?" Hobie chuckled before getting up again. "Don't get too jealous on me alright?" He joked, patting his friend's shoulder as he jumped down from where they were sitting, approaching her once again.

"He's never gonna give up is he?" Miles sat once again close beside Gwen, who sighed at the sight of Hobie attempting to come off as nonchalant with a girl who only seemed to curve his insinuations over and over. 

"That's such a man thing to do, no offense." Gwen spat as her hand slid down her face, pointing at what she could only describe as a humilliation show.

"Yeah... right." 

It's not that she didn't notice, she just dodged him. She thought there was more important things to do than let herself be conquered by some co-worker. But she was lying if she said he wasn't winning her over.

He also was so her type.

The funky hair, the spikes on his leather vest, the stickers and carvings on his guitar, his Iggy Pop vibes and his weird slang. But he thought he was so it, he was a nice guy but he needed some humbling. Their first conversation was about Bowie, and he played her a bit of Moonage Daydream as she recalled when she saw him live, getting all starry eyed whenever she'd narrate the part where she gave him a ride in her car.

"You gave Bowie a ride?"

"Spider's Tour, yeah..." She giggled, flipping her hair in a way that had him starstruck. "In my mom's car."

"In your mum's car? Oh get out." She went on to talk about how that changed her view on music, going on about her gigs in New L.A and how she moved there to make it big. 

Hobie was sure he was listening, but as much as he tried to contain himself, keeping in comments was not in his book.

"You always dress this mad? Like, all the time?" He bursted out with a smile, cutting her off. They were sitting on a counter table, with his guitar on his lap. He leaned closer to pick on the fabric of her coat. 

"Always. Do you always dress so pretentious?" She retorted with a smug grin, pushing her hair out of her face. His eyes shot up to look at her, puzzled. "I mean, aren't you like... rebelling against society?" Hobie let out a slight laugh, his head tilting in interest as he looked into her eyes. 

"Well, yea'. Why?"

"Don't you think it would be more of an act of rebellion if you didn't spend so much time buying stickers and pins and going out to get punky clothes? Stop me if I'm being offensive, I think the style's hip, but it just seems counterproductive to your cause."

"Na' its cool, keep going." He struggled to discern if he was actually listening, or simply invested in watching her mouth smart words as her long painted nails tapped on the counter.

"You want to be an individual, but it's like you wear a uniform. It's just punk fashion, not rebellion." Hobie's eyes fixated on her's, leaving a strong silence as she ended her phrase. 

"I'm not judging you, just kind of a general critique to what they call punk movement."

Hobie brushed her off with his usual humorous comments to maintain his pride, but he was dazzled. Even if she had criticized his way of thinking and how he dressed, she was so outspoken, without caring what he had to say or thought about her opinion, and he was crazy for his first impression of her, as much as he hated to admit it as he'd call 'Love is for posers'. Hobie was sure he was just trying to win her over, to prove a point he'd say, but deep down he loved the way she smiled and shook her head whimsically everytime he'd say something or take time off his schedule to nag her.

It was a few times that she gave Hobie the chance to play with her, to which she soon learnt that he did not know how to read tabs. Of course the punk kid is self-taught. Trying to lead, they would play messy numbers and solos. It was ocasionally just her and Gwen, who had let YN grown onto her sharing her love for girl bands, doing some jamming with their instruments as Hobie payed vague attention. But he would pound on any chance to be alone with her and try to take her out.

She didn't know what was in her that day, but she let him take her out.

He toured her around his universe, before taking her to what he called "his palace". 

The small canal boat was ridiculously a very Hobie place to live. If she were to guess, she'd think he lived in a tree somewhere in Birmingham. However it had it's charm, it was very humid and it wobbled when they walked, but it was unique and she loved it. Hobie showed her the collection of things he had stolen, proving himself to be a brilliant thief. He owed most of his 'talent' to his Spider-Sense and speed, but he'd never bring it up. 

As she sat on the mattress where he slept in, Hobie picked up one of his records, sitting beside her to show her the signed insides of the vinyl. Her eyes paced from the inscriptions to his face, as he ocasionally caught a glimpse of her through the corner of his eye. He left the vinyl aside to go on about his encounters with the infuential musicians on the area, how he attempted to steal the microphone the Bowie of his dimension had used when he was touring in his city. Her gaze shifting from his eyes to his lips back and forth. 

He was hesitant about making a move, afraid he'd mess up what had taken him so much work. But wasn't even given time to think it through before the proximity between them grew, and her hand softly caressed his bony cheek and down to his neck, inviting him to lean into a kiss. As they made out, his cold piercing was quickly warmed by her damp tongue and soft lips that sucked and kissed his. His hands caressed up and down her waist, undoing the buttons on her blouse with his slender fingers as she revealed her naked torso, no bra underneath. YN did her usual hair flip to watch him undress her, and himself, jumping on her once finished to continue what he had briefly interrupted.

"We won't sink, will we?" She asked between soft giggles as the boat quivered at his abrupt movement, Hobie nibbling down her neck and kissing her chest. 

"I wank pretty crazy here every night, we won't." He teased before crawling backwards, kissing down her navel. 

songs i listened to while working on this:

(ofc) arabella - arctic monkeys

moonage daydream, lady grinning soul and starman - bowie

hey, velouria - pixies

rhiannon, gold dust woman - fleetwood mac

[mrsbsmooth]

If you sent your S6 LI a nude while they were at work:

Did these for S4 but someone got in before me for S5, but now that we've got all the LIs, here we go. I don't have gifs this time, just HCs lol.

Andy

Has his hands full right this very second, holding a particularly nasty cat. Leans over to quickly glance at his phone, sees the image preview. Eyes go wide, and he leans in to make sure he's seeing things correctly. Completely loses all concentration, he's coming home with scratches up his arms. But don't worry, he's gonna get his girl to put a few more on his back when he gets home.

Bella

Can't really look at her phone while doing a set, but she feels it buzz a custom vibrate pattern in her pocket, and smiles a little. It's late , and there's only one reason that her girl would be awake at this hour... so Bella knows exactly what's in that text message. And she knows she's not sleeping at her place tonight.

Chloe

She doesn't have her phone while she's practicing or on stage, but as soon as she comes off it you best believe she's squealing. Everyone's asking her what happened, and she's proudly announcing that her girl just sent her a nude. But she's not sharing. The other ballerinas aren't getting a look at her girl.

Elliot

He's in the middle of streaming. His phone chimes, sees its from his girl, pauses to look at it (because he always pauses the game for her), and immediately just freezes. He glances up at the camera, then back at his phone, then back at the camera.

"Sorry guys, gotta go. Something has... uh... come up. Don'tforgettosubscribebyee!" Slams the computer shut, he is gone.

Flo

She's probably overseas, so she can't rush home like the others, but she can take a break, jumping into the nearest bathroom, locking the doors and taking a sneaky nude back. She's been in enough photos, she knows how to take them. The pic she's sending back is good enough to frame.

Francis

Doesn't have a phone. Even if he did, doesn't have reception in the middle of the forest.

Jamal

Got his airpods in while practicing in the half pipe. Siri reads it out. 'Text message from My Girl. Attachment: 1 image. Text message reads: I want you.'

Jamal immediately wipes out on the half pipe. He's fine. He climbs out, packs his shit and is on his fucking way.

Lewie

Just finished training, checks his phone. Eyes go wiiiiiide. The lads see him and know exactly why, but he quickly locks his phone and packs his shit. Doesn't bother showering. He can do that at her place when he drags her in there with him.

Marshall

Like Flo, sneaking into the bathroom to send her a dick pic back. He’s a sexting pro, in minutes she’s on her way to drop by wherever his event is. Crazy quickie in the backseat of his car. Gives her a kiss, fixes his clothes, back to work like nothing happened. Sends her a text a little later to let her know he’s ready for round two

Ozzy

Would barely be able to tell anything was awry. The tiniest smirk, the subtlest flash of fire in his eyes, and a text back.

"Damn"

Roberto

He can't talk right away, (he's flying a fucking plane, obviously). But he can check it at the hotel that night. He's immediately sending her one back, and then, he's picking up the phone to call her. He's not hanging up until they're both satisfied.

Ryan

Like Bella, he's probably performing, so he can't respond right away. But when he sees it, he's sending her a message back straight away, gushing about how beautiful she looks... and telling her in no uncertain terms exactly, step-by-step, what he is going to do to her when he gets home.

Bonus: Hamish

Checks the message, fires a text back, slips it back into his pocket. No prospective buyers any the wiser. She opens the text back: 'On your back on the dining room table. Fifteen minutes.' He's making a... quick stop at home before his next showing.

[whimsical-roasting]

“Coach Ted, how do you feel about group cohesion and dance breaks?”

thinking about random moments shared in the jamie tartt x psych major!reader fic i have in my head... just cute shit tbh

okay so the reader has been with the Richmond club for a solid few months, she’s a familiar face and friendly to the team but not super close with everybody, minus Colin and surprisingly,,, Jamie hehe

the team seems to be having a serious tie-streak going on, and they’re all kinda bummed by it

Ted’s obviously still Ted, unwavering winners mindset that basically means ‘do your best, give yourself a pat, shake it off, and repeat’ - with the addition of a smile ofc!

the reader has been doing readings for her org psych class and knows that raising group morale is necessary but also so so hard.

sometimes motivational speeches just don’t cut it yknow?? sometimes you gotta think outside of the box to fix the vibes and spread positivity

so there she is, standing in the coach’s office with a bluetooth speaker in her hand, nervously waiting for it to be her turn to speak

“Coach Ted,” she calls him in a manner that’s playful but still professional - he’s insisted on just Ted in the past and she’s complied but for serious conversations, she enjoys leading with a ‘subtle sense of professionalism’

“Coach Ted, how do you feel about group cohesion and dance breaks?” she asks, fiddling with the speaker in her hand

“Well darlin, I love a good flash mob. Gosh, those folks must keep in touch, right?” He directs his eyes to Beard, who peaks over his book and replies affirmingly, “a bond has been formed,” causing both you and Ted to smile

“Well, less flash mob but more like... a bi-weekly dance break?” she continues as Ted’s eyes land on her again. “I know the boys are bummed with the tie-streak and I was reading in my org psych textbook about the importance of autonomy in decorating our workspaces, and how group morale helps cohesion which’ll lead to better attitudes and hopefully better performance - not that our performance has been poor, it’s been great, I’m proud of the boys really! But, it sucks to see them bummed out...So maybe a twice-a-week-song-dance-break will lift spirits??” 

she’s rambling. she’s nervous!! it’s a good idea tbh but still, sharing means being vulnerable and the potential of getting rejected

Ted politely waits for her to finish, nodding along and then grins, “sounds wonderful darlin! Hey, maybe you can get the boys to give some song suggestions to help with the whole autonomy thing you mentioned.” 

she’s happy !! grinning as she steps out to the locker room, dragging out the whiteboard from the corner and scribbling in a lil corner of it

Jamie’s eyes follow her silently. truth be told, they followed her when she entered and disappeared into the coach’s office. but he smiles a lil seeing her grin at herself

when she’s done with the whiteboard, she calls for attention and lets the boys know to write down their suggestions, and she’ll choose two songs for the week randomly!! she emphasizes nervously that it should help according to her textbooks and Jamie is silently nodding, eyes drifting to her hands as she fiddles with the whiteboard marker

Dani is the first to speak, “pardon me, can it be Spanish songs too?” and she smiles really big, “anything you like!!” 

Isaac adds, “yea bruv, I fuck wit Bad Bunny” and there’s a wave of approving noises from the rest

SO, the plan has been implemented, and it’s frickin working!!! 

the boys always look forward to whose song is chosen - lots of rap, some taylor swift, Work Hard Play Hard makes them go nuts, some musical songs from Colin but it’s okay cause the lads are hyped over Hamilton 

Ted gets into it!! dancing!! Dani and Jan Maas share an imaginary mic!! it’s great, but Jamie’s favourite part is seeing her join them in the locker rooms for every dance break grooving to the music

one day SHE chooses the song... “Keep Your Head Up” by Andy Grammer cause the team seemed extra tired and bummed

everyone’s like ??? who chose this?? she’s like ‘me. I did.’

she’s trying to break the tension, so she takes her imaginary mic and goes to Ted, then Colin, then Sam, and soon everyone’s into it - just happily singing and dancing

she somehow ends up next to Jamie, shoulders bumping. she’s swaying as she faces him, playfully mouthing the lyrics to him as he smiles with a slight blush (not that she notices cause she’s blushing too)

they’re both dancing close to each other, and she lightly pokes his chin when the song goes, “you gotta keep your head up”, reaching up to pull down his headband at, “and you can let your hair down,” grinning at him when he’s like ‘hey!! :o... >:)’

the song ends, and they’re still laughing at each other, holding hands...a bit longer than they should tbh hehehe. Jamie loves her energy and kindness, it matches his goofiness and makes him wanna be a better person

but anyways!!! they pull away, hoping no one notices.. some do but don’t say anything

[mysteriousdragon2]

Howdy everyone. You remember the poll I did a while back, and that talking about my favorite JoJo characters won? I’ll be doing just that today. I’ll go in order for each part, so it’ll be organized.

Jonathan Joestar

Jonathan Joestar, a gentleman of a main character, with a good heart and a beloved lad. Why do I like Jonathan? Well, he’s a very good start for JoJo as a whole, he’s the Joestar that carries the rest of the parts bloodline. Joseph talks about him lots, so I find Jonathan pretty significant as a character.

Genuinely when I first watched Phantom Blood, I was so upset that he was treated to poorly by George Joestar (his father), and Dio Brando…like dude was just living life, then Dio went to mess it all up…where he would get no respect, no love, nothing. I’m so glad that Erina was kind enough to welcome him in warm arms and get married overtime…even Speedwagon helped Jonathan a lot in his rough journey to kill Dio, but I’ll talk about Speedwagon later.

I think him learning Hamon was pretty cool, having the ability to heal yourself, age slower, and also use Zoom Punch to basically extend your arm. But Hamon is also a good conductor…so when Jonathan fought against Bruford, seeing him use his sword with the combination of Hamon was pretty lethal to vampires and zombies. One of my favorite parts with Jonathan, was when he let Bruford live because he saw that he was in pain and that he wanted to fix himself….but Bruford died a good person later.

I think that although he despises Dio, he sees him as a brother since they’ve been together for so long is a nice touch that Jonathan is willing to forgive, even through the pain and misery he’s been through. Jonathan did what he could to rid of Dio, but Dio unfortunately ended Jonathan’s short life. It’s a shame that a wholesome character like Jonathan had to leave so soon.

I also think that a lot of people hate on Jonathan because he’s the first JoJo, or the fact he seems…boring in terms of personality/character. But you gotta understand, it’s the first part of the show- there isn’t supposed to be much going on, and it’s only 9 episodes long. It’s an opinion, of course. Anybody can like and hate what they want. But I personally enjoy Jonathan.

Thank you for reading. I will send the next Part 1 character tomorrow, and talk about them. C:

[sighonaraa]

I love dialogue prompts, they're so fun! How about: “Don’t feel like it today.”

ignore me taking approximately 5 million business years to get to all the dialogue prompts i've got languishing in my inbox............ ANYWAYS.

They're halfway through the season, and the ground's gone hard with frost most days. There's a nip to the air that bites, Roy's got a pair of Phoebe's lumpy, misshapen mittens in his pocket, and he's about to tear Tartt a new one if the muppet doesn't open his door in the next two minutes. He pulls his fist back and drives it forward; the door swings open before they reach and he drops his arm. "Where the fuck," he begins, and has to immediately stop, because Jamie's got his forehead pressed to the doorframe and there's a grey pallor to his face that is not, in any capacity, fucking normal. "Sorry, Coach," Jamie says--slurs, really, mouth barely opening enough to permit the words to pass through. He uses his elbow to push himself up, like that's going to fix anything. Like that's going to make Roy forget the rest of it. "Couldn't hear'ya." Roy swallows the last dregs of frostbitten anger. "Jesus Christ," he says, which--is definitely the wrong thing to say, considering Jamie flinches against it, shoulders hiking to his ears. "M'sorry," he mumbles. His movements are slow, lethargic. His eyes blink with all the laziness of a cat in the sun, except he's not a fucking cat in the sun, he's a fucking idiot who's gone and worked himself too hard and gotten sick about it. "M'ready, though. To, uh. Run." He does a pantomime of a runner, swinging his arms back and forth, and almost keels over with the exertion of it. Roy darts forward to nudge his shoulder beneath Jamie's. "Careful, you muppet," he says, softening the sharp edges of his voice the way he does with Phoebe when she's got a fever. Actually... He passes the back of his hand across Jamie's brow. Hotter than a skillet. Christ. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me you're not feeling well?" "Huh? M'feelin'...m'feelin' fine, Coach," Jamie says, attempting to swing his head up. It's a horrible fucking attempt. "So fine. Look, m'runnin' right now." "No, you're not," says Roy. Jamie's nose crinkles. "M'not?" "No," says Roy. "C'mon, let's go inside." "Nuh-uh. Gotta...gotta go. Do the trainin'." "You--" Roy grits his teeth; contemplates his options. Snow's beginning to fall from the clouds overhead, and the world's been cast in shades of echo and memory. The lamplight reflects off the wet pavement. All the windows along the street are dark. "I don't feel like it today." "Huh?" "I don't feel like training today," Roy repeats. He lifts Jamie a bit higher, tucks the lad beneath his arm. Shuffles them both across the threshold into the foyer. "C'mon, Jamie. Let's get inside."

[renabe4life]

As I start physio for my wrist, I've been thinking now's a good time to reread some wips and decide which one I might try to work on first once I have less pain from all these exercises. I also thought it might be fun to do a poll to see which fics folks wanna see updated soonest:

Propaganda (read: current wip status) below the cut!

Take Root- the modern AU of two old men supporting each other and learning to grow around their scars. The bulk of chapter 17 is written. There is one small scene I need to add, and one other scene needs some serious editing before it is ready to post. We're hitting a big emotional beat in this one, so I want to get it right.

Ebb- feesh lad! aka the mer AU that wasn't supposed to become a chaptered fic, but alas Qrow decided to have some secrets that need time and trust to reveal. There is enough written to call it a chapter, but... I gotta figure out what's bothering me about it and fix it, along with general editing that needs doing. A fun little reveal in this one, plus a cagey bird who flusters a lot.

Stop-Off- the camping AU meet-cute featuring widdol Yang and Rubes (and their mom being a complete menace while dad is oblivious). Chapter 2 is about three quarters of the way written. It needs at least a scene at the end to finish out the day, with a little editing needed on what's already written. Cloves is having a bit of a crisis at the start of this one, followed by Qrow having one in the second half lmao.

Distraction- the two part hurt/comfort plus spice recovery fic. Very little written for the second and final chapter. It is going to require a delicate balance to keep the tone I want throughout those heated moments. Depending on the vibes, I could bang this out in a feverish trance or take forever on it- hard to say!

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie idea: Set after Roy and Keeley break up. Roy and Jamie start training and end up hooking up. They keep seeing each other for months and Jamie couldn't be more happier or in love, until Roy drops a bomb on everything by saying he and Keeley are gonna get back together. Jamie realizes that while he thought they were in a relationship, Roy was having him just as a rebound. Jamie is completely shattered, but somehow holds it together. Roy and Keeley get back together, Jamie basically feels abandoned as Roy no longer spends much time with him. His wounds keep festering and his anger keeps building until one day he sees Roy and Keeley being all lovey dovey and HE LOSES HIS FUCKING SHIT! He rips Roy to shreds in front of everyone. Keeley and the lads are appalled, Roy is stunned, Jamie runs off, everyone is fucking pissed at Roy. Keeley immediately breaks up with him and urges Roy to get Jamie back. Roy has to go chasing after Jamie, but catches him eventually. It's this giant wreck of a situation that they will have to work extra hard to rebuild from. Roy's an ass, but not cruel, just totally oblivious to the fact that he had a boyfriend all along.

Owwww

Roy can’t believe he was so stupid. How he missed this he’ll never know.

Of course he was in a relationship with Jamie. Phoebe has literally called Jamie is boyfriend. Roy finds Jamie sitting in his car.

He’s not moving just sitting and staring at the wheel. Roy opens the door and slides in.

“I’m sorry.”

Jamie jumps. Almost like he didn’t process someone there. He turns and looks at Roy. Really looks at him. “You’re an absolute dick. Jesus Christ go away Roy.”

Fuck Roy. Jamie’s been crying. Quite a bit from the looks of it. Roy reaches out and touches Jamie’s hand.

Jamie flinches. Flinches

Roy can’t believe himself. Can’t believe he had this man in his bed crying two weeks ago and lost that for someone he doesn’t even love in that way anymore. Because look, Roy will always love Keeley. But Christ apparently he loves Jamie more. Apparently he fell in love with Jamie.

Apparently they were dating.

Jamie scrubs at his face to make the tears stop again. He shoves at Roy’s shoulder half heartedly. “Can you leave granddad. Kinda having a pity party.”

Roy winces. Yeah that’s deserved. Everything Jamie said was deserved.

“I didn’t know. Thought you were fucking people on the side. I didn’t want to get attached. Said we were just hooking up for plausible deniability. It’s a fucked reason but it’s true.”

Jamie cracks a grin. It’s lightly manic. He stares straight at Roy. “I shared things about my childhood that I’ve never told anyone Roy. Took you out on dates. You went with me on dates. We were dating.”

Roy nods. What else can he do besides agree. Jamie is so right. “You’re right. I fucked it. But I want to fix it. Keeley broke up with me. Said we deserve each other and she isn’t standing in the way of that. Christ Jamie I think I’m in love with you if you’ll give me time to think about it.”

Jamie laughs. “You’re fucking with me. I’ve been in love with you since I was 15 mate. How didn’t you see that shit.” Roy shakes his head, “dunno. But I regret and apologize for everything that caused you pain.”

“Oh.”

Roy gives him a small smile, “yeah oh. I like you Jamie, wanna date you while knowing we’re dating. Wanna hold your hand and smash a camera for you.”

Jamie smiles. He reaches over and takes Roy’s hand he dropped earlier. “Gotta say that’s pretty romantic. I forgive you. Just don’t do it again.”

Roy touches Jamie’s cheek with his other hand, “can I kiss you officially as your boyfriend?” Jamie lightly blushes, “yeah prick go ahead.” Roy does.

It’s a good first kiss all things considered. Nice. Comforting. Reminds roy of the last few months.

He pulls away suddenly. “You’ve got all of my non black hoodies don’t you??” Jamie blushes red. “To be fair. I always steal my partner’s clothing. You just didn’ realize.”

Roy blinks. “Is that why I always want to fuck you when you’re in that navy blue sweater? Some monkey brain part of me knew it was mine?”

Jamie let’s put a laugh. “Yeah babe sure.” Roy shakes his head. “Let’s go back to your place. I’ll cook and apologize more.” Jamie nods. “Sure.” He squeezes Roy’s hand.

They’re a bit fucked up right now but they’ll figure things out.

[octuscle]

Hi there, I think I must've gotten someone else's phone. I was sitting in my Jeep when I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

Except, it wasn't mine. There was only one app on it, and it only had one screen:

Mode: Ex-Jock Nationality: American Muscle Size: Average Gut Size: Constantly Growing Intelligence: Low

Please help me fix my phone, bro Please, uhhhh, ummm, thanks bro Ummm, what was I asking, can't think So hungry bro I've gotta head to the drive through...

Buddy, what kind of Jeep are you talking about? Your baby is a real truck. Talking about it as a Jeep would be like saying you have a belly. That's a real paunch you're carrying. And if you've been trying to cover it up, it's getting harder and harder. First your undershirt dissolves in the fur on your chest and belly. And then you don't even try to close your sleeveless shirt anymore… Hehehehe, you sweat all the time anyway, so at least the airstream cools you down.

Your hunger is getting bigger and bigger. But with every kilometer you know the highways better and better. In a few miles there is a good truck stop. Delicious food. Huge portions. And in the bushes behind the parking lot, usually a couple of local lads who like to suck a cheesy trucker's dick that hasn't seen a shower in days.

Bertha's chili is simply unbeatable. You took two second helpings. You could put grizzlies to flight with your farts. Or animate skunks to mating dances. You light a cigar. And you hear footsteps in the underbrush. Looks like you're going to have some fun before you go on, Daddy!

[astrobravo]

For day 1 of Scoteng Week! I did write it on day 1 but I needed to gather courage to post

I attempted to write Scotland's accent. I'm sorry.

Prompt: Anger from worry / Inconvenient Attraction

Summary: A dialogue-only fic about a sexventure gone wrong between the lads, but it all comes out okay in the end. ♡

—

“Hold still ye fucken weapon. Almost… almost– uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh? What do you mean uh-oh?”

“It slipped again. I don't think this is workin, Arthur–”

“Shut it. Shut your mouth right now and get your fingers back in there and FIX this.”

“I’ve been trying! It’s not moving.”

“It will move! It will move!!!”

“I cannae even SEE it anymore…”

“It’s because you keep shoving it back in with your sausage fingers!! Give it a minute!”

“A minute? I’ve been four fingers deep in yer ass for near an hour and a half!”

"So you’re giving up already. After all you have done to me.”

“After all I've done to ye? Was I the one who came home from the sin shops with a new dildo in MY sustainable canvas shopping bag? Was I the one who laid a towel down on the sofa next to my fuckpal as he was TRYING to watch the footie, stripped down to my skin, stuck my bony chicken legs into the air, and said, in the exact tone of an exhausted cross-town bus driver, 'Turn off the telly and put your back to the plow, beast'?"

“You’re mocking me in my time of crisis. You have inflicted this hell upon me and I’m going to DIE like this and my tombstone will have YOUR FACE ETCHED UPON IT because you will have KILLED ME with your SAUSAGE FINGERS and MOCKED me on my DEATHBED-”

“Ye said ye wanted to stay on the sofa… didye want me to move you to the bed?”

“NO! When this is over you’re going to be sleeping on this couch for the rest of your LIFE, you giant OX-”

“So yer lying on my deathbed then.”

“I can’t believe this. I'm going to die because of your perversions and you're refusing to take my suffering seriously–”

“MY perversions??? That's rich. That's rich!”

"What? You're the one who got so enthusiastic about sticking it to me that the flared base slipped in!”

"YOU SHOULDNAE BOUGHT ONE WITH SUCH WEE BOLLOCKS! USELESS!"

"IT WAS ON SALE! NO ONE ASKED YOU TO GET THAT ENTHUSIASTIC!"

“YE WERE INTO IT!!! YE WERE INTO IT!!!”

“AND NOW IT’S IN ME AND WE’RE BOTH FUCKED!”

"CALM DOWN AND STOP CLENCHING-"

"DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!! I'M CALM! I'M UNCLENCHED!"

“JUST BREATHE!"

"YOU BREATHE! IT'S PRACTICALLY POKING ME IN MY LUNG!"

"OKAY!! Okay. Okay. Arthur… I think it might be time to consider alternative options.”

“We are NOT going to the A&E.”

“Oh, agreed.”

“Wh- you wouldn’t take me to the A&E?”

“I would! Do ye wanna go? Let’s fucken go!”

“No! You know ours is a teaching hospital! I REFUSE to have a gaggle of med students gather around my deathbed and stare into the depths of my fundament with their greasy, judgy, born post-2000 faces! YOU'RE the one who INSISTED on basting me like a Sunday roast-”

“Ye said ya LIKED the slipperiness of the new lube!!"

"-and now look where your decisions have brought us."

"We're getting off track. Arthur, listen to me. There's one thing we haven't tried yet."

"OH and you were saving it for a rainy day? A special occasion? The diamond jubilee?"

"I got up to four in you."

"I'm WELL AWARE-"

"What if. Five."

"..."

"Now hear me out-"

"Your hands are the size of garden trowels-"

"-I could get a better grip-"

"-and you want to rummage around in me and pluck it out like the last crisp in the bag? I've SEEN the poor crisp bags after you're done having your way with them-"

"-pull it right out, and then we'll worry nae more about it."

"-shredded! Like a fox went through the bins!"

"It's either this or the med students."

"..."

"..."

"You'll go slow."

"Slow as ye please."

"And you'll stop when I say."

"Aye, the very moment."

"Christ alive. Fine. Fine. Get in me."

"Alrigh', let me lube up–"

"TO YOUR FOREARM?"

"I've been staring into your asshole for almost two hours. I'm doin what I gotta do here. Alright, I'm goin in."

"FUCKING HELL don't START with four!"

"It's fine, look, they slid right in. There we go. And, breathe in-"

"Ugh–"

"Alrigh', just hold it there, keep breathing, you're doing so well–"

"Hah…hah… huff…"

"That's it. That's it. I'm gonna tuck my thumb in now, just keep breathing–"

"Christ–!"

"Don' tense up on me now! Easy, easy, let me in– oh."

"Alasdair…"

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm in ye. I'm all in. I can feel your heartbeat around me. Yer holding me so tight, yer burning up inside…"

"Wha… the fuck– are you getting hard right now?"

"I cannae help it, you're so open and soft and clenching so tight on me, maybe don't do tha'–"

"BECAUSE YOUR HAND IS UP MY ASS! Let me put my hand up your ass and see if you clench, you insufferable bastard!'

"God, I love ye."

"Wha...did you seriously– HOW DARE THE FIRST TIME YOU SAY THAT BE WHEN YOUR HAND IS UP MY ASS! I demand a do-over!!!"

"Every day, sweetheart, as much as ye like. Just a little deeper, let me in…

"Haa… haa…"

"Oh- I've found the end of it! Hold on now, you're doing so well, don't clench– I got it… I got it, hold on!"

"Guh- BE GENTLE!!"

"Sorry, sorry. Ok. Ok I've got a good grip. Gonnae gently draw it out. Breathe in–"

"Hah, hah… ha-ah!"

"Here it comes, breathe–"

"Alasdair– GAH!"

"It's out! It's out!"

"Haah…"

"I don't see any blood, I think yer alright. You're still open a little–"

"Dont look… -hic- don't– -sniff-"

"It's alright. It's alright. Just let it out. C'mere, lemme hold ye."

"-Sniff- No, you don't have to…"

"Ow, fuck, fucken elbows like scythes– there."

"I hate you."

"It's alright. I love ye."

"I…love you, too. Unfortunately."

"My condolences."

♡　The End　♡

[ohai-there]

I wanna write a FMA x Naruto crossover where it's Hokage Minato + ANBU Kakashi dimension travelling to FMA. The FMA lads are like... that's a whole ass child! wdym he's one of your best soldiers???

But my current fic absolutely takes priority :sobbing:

Kakashi, completely deferring to Minato to do anything, even speaking, because they're in a foreign land and Hokage always comes first: Minato-sensei is amazing! He killed a thousand Iwa-nin :D

Minato: of course I can't compete with Kakashi, he graduated at 5, you know hehe I'm so proud, I was only on the field at 10...

FMA: what the f u ck

Summons... work? Kind of? Kakashi tries to summon Pakkun but it drains both him and Pakkun and Pakkun can't actually go back to Narutoverse because there's no other summoners with the dog contract to anchor onto, so Minato's toads are the only option.

They can't reverse summon because the distance between the two dimensions is so crazy far that it would kill them both with chakra exhaustion, but Minato can send a message through the frogs like, "1. I'm not dead, 2. Shikaku's in charge until I come back, 3. Jiraiya's gotta come back to the village ASAP and stay and advise, 4. Don't listen to any other council (because he's still trying to sort it out), 5. if you need to make any difficult decisions: DON'T, either send me a message for me to reply or delay it until I'm back."

FMA: freaking out cos that's talking animals - chimeras???? but also not?????

The ninjas should absolutely not have any trouble in the FMAverse - both of them have feats which put them faster than light so they absolutely could just... slap a bullet away with a chakra enhanced palm.

Maybe Obito can climb through Kakashi's eye because he went on a complete and utter freak-out when he realises Kakashi's gone and it results in a fight where he's absolutely trying to kill Minato for taking Kakashi away and Kakashi fighting him because he's attacking Minato-sensei and it's a huge-ass mess because they're fighting in a way which is absolutely devastating compared to alchemists.

Obito is sprouting Mokuton everywhere and phasing through attacks and Kakashi is taking hits that would absolutely kill a regular person (because shinobi are crazy durable) and bringing out all the elements and Minato is teleporting around like it's nothing.

The fight ends with Minato putting a kunai to Kakashi's throat cos he figures out that Kakashi is the bottom line and it actually works to make Obito stop attacking.

Minato's all, "as the Yondaime Hokage, I'm commanding you to stand down, Uchiha Obito." and Kakashi's standing there with Minato-sensei's kunai pressing hard enough to draw blood like, "Minato-sensei?" and Obito actually stops and just falls to his knees and says, "I think there's something wrong with me, help me please, Minato-sensei." And their return to their og world gets delayed because they have to figure out exactly to what extent the seal on Obito's heart is influencing him and how to remove it. FMA world needs to contend with the fact that it's not Just Kakashi that's like that, but it's legit the entire world that's pumping out children who kill and die.

When Obito starts losing himself to the rage Kakashi just holds him by the hand and in the smallest voice ever, just says, "don't be angry, Obito, please."

Kakashi & Obito being super traumatised and just holding hands, constantly...

It's a fix-it fic :) Obito, no longer under the influence of the seal returns to Konoha, cos of that, there's no Kyuubi attack and Minato continues on with being Hokage and butterfly effects Konoha into a better place.

I just wanna see my boys heal and also be absolute BEASTS in other dimensions...