#I GET YEAST INFECTIONS JUST LOOKING AT THAT SHIT

[ladyshandioftheendless]

😖

[drdemonprince]

Is "safe sex" even real? Never done it so idk but you mentioned risk profiles once. I feel like demographically I've got a higher risk profile and the anxiety about that really prevents me from going and trying anything. Do you think that's overly anxious in a negative way?

"safe sex" is a really misleading and binary term. There is never any guarantee of safety in anything we do. Every choice we make comes with risks. Hell, choosing not to connect with other people sexually (if you have any desire to) does ITSELF come with its own risks and costs over time.

The chase after perfect, guranteed safety will only lead to us feeling powerless and afraid, because it is an impossibility. All that we can do is inform ourselves of the risks, mitigate the risks we are the most concerned about and that affect others, and then knowingly accept what risks we still face as the cost of leading a full, enjoyable life.

When we inform ourselves about risk mitigation, we learn there are certain steps that we should probably take to protect ourselves and others if we are engaging in behavior that carries risk. If you're having sex with a complete stranger, it's probably smart to use a condom. If you have sex regularly you might want an HPV vaccine or to be on PreP to prevent HIV transmission. When you meet up with people you should get tested for COVID. You should get vaccinated against COVID. If you want to get suspended in rope from the ceiling don't use a hardware store $3 carabeener, get the good shit from the rock-climbing supply store. Things like that.

But even if you use a condom, you might get herpes or HPV or crabs or a yeast infection. Even if you never have sex, you might already have herpes or HPV or crabs or a yeast infection. I've had several of those things, including some of the "scarier" sounding ones, and they're really not that big a deal. They're just a thing that happens in life. Most people have them. You pop a Valtrex when you have symptoms, you shove a suppostiory up your vulva when it itches, you sleep without underwear on, you communicate with partners, you move on with your life.

Sure, I do what I can to avoid the risks I am most concerned about. I take PreP right now because not getting HIV would be preferable to me. But I could still live if I got it. I am informed about the realities of living with HIV today, which makes that fear more manageable. It is easier for me to make carefully considered and yet realistic decisions surrounding my risk profile because I can confront the realities that scare me and learn more about them.

The body is not separable form its environment. We are connected to our surroundings and the people around us, and our bodies get sick, catch viruses, grow old, get messy, and die inevitably and return to the earth. With our one life, we each have to choose what is most important to us and what potential costs we can stand. But with each year that passes, a cost to our bodies is already incurred, and there's nothing we can do to prevent aging and death from coming our way.

So what would you like to do while you are around? Would you like to have sex with condoms? Go on PreP? Get the HPV vaccine? Take random loads in a glory hole? Make out and dry hump with a cutie at a party and catch her cold sore? Cross the street in the dark after looking both ways? Go out dancing so late that your sleep is disrupted for the whole week? Get your heart broken? Have a great all-consuming love? Have children? Endure a torn labia while giving birth? Try psychedelics? Go on a swinger's cruise? Get a UTI from spermicide? Roleplay online instead of meeting in person? Fuck people with a strap-on?

The choice is yours. And no choice you make will be perfect or come without risk. No life is safe. Accepting loss is one of the necessary tasks of leading a life. But you can educate yourself, reflect on what you most want out of life and what you fear, and then take steps to demystefy your worst fears and mitigate the risks that loom largest to you and the people you care about.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have some fun.

[soraviie]

chasing after you.txt

━ type: bts x f! reader ━ navigation

━ about: dynamics in order: Joon - one-night stand + enemies to lovers, Yoongi - neighbours with a bit of a bad boy influence, Jin - sort of arranged marriage au, Hoseok - exes to lovers, Jimin - sugar daddy/fake dating au, Taehyung - tease x anger issues/clingy + tsundere/f2l, Jungkook - bodyguard x ward

━ pictures taken from Pinterest

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON: "Aw, fuck, who invited that guy?" you growled, whilst rolling your eyes at the corner where Namjoon had been so precariously sat like an asshole. You hated everything about him - the smug smile, the cocky tone of his voice, the winks he threw your way. Kim Namjoon was nothing but a sure way to get your blood pressure up and stay that way all through the night.

"Probably one of his fri- Shit! He's coming this way!" as your friend dipped over the bar and away into the crowd, courageous as ever, you snatched your drink partially pondering about throwing it into his face.

"You look lonely," he cooed with that shit-eating grin that you had wanted to smack away since the first meeting. And maybe to kiss but he didn't need to know that. "Why don't I keep you company?"

"Keep company with your left hand like you usually do," you yelled over the music.

"Well it does pair well with certain memories of you," he smirked and you groaned in disgust.

A misguided February 14th evening could lead to many foul things - unexpected pregnancy, STDs, Kim Namjoon having the delusional idea that you liked him.

Frankly, you'd rather endure a yeast infection than have this 6 feet fuckboy in the disguise of a pacifistic art lover keep chasing you every night out. More than once you wanted to slap your younger self only to come to their defence over and over again.

Namjoon was big. Big man. Big muscles. Big...well you get it.

And that may have made you a little bit stupid once! But not twice.

Yes.

"I can't stand you," you sneered at him with the most contempt you could possibly muster

"Sit on my lap then, baby."

You took a long swig to finish your drink, sliding it across the bartop and walking backwards, you levelled him down with a:

"You'd only cream your jeans, caveman."

"That's possible," he reckoned with a soft smile watching you mingle with the dancing crowd.

And for a while, it all went well, you'd find someone to at least waste some time with only for them to suddenly start sprinting away for their lives. You frowned after them, coming to a screeching halt in the fun.

Did your breath smell or something?

Taken with dancing, you hadn't noticed the broad-chested giant charging forth, smoke practically fuming from his nostril as his eyes glinted devilishly when tracking down the opponent. As the music changed, you found your waist circled by a shovel-sized palm.

"You really have no luck out here. You keep on being stuck with lil' old me," he whispered in your ear, causing long trails of goosebumps where his breath landed and you elbowed him, hard, in the gut.

He didn't even seem to mind.

"I don't know who you think you are Kim Namjoon but I will never-!"

"Oh, how you hate me," he lets out a burst of raspy laughter, head thrown back on the pillow, pulling you closer as much as he can despite you both being considerably sweaty.

"S-shut up," you grunt back, thighs aching but just a little bit more and you'll be in your happy place even if it was with this obnoxious gym rat. "You're just a cock on legs to me."

"Oh, for sure," he smirks and then prompts himself upwards to bite on your neck. "But you might think of screaming a tad quieter if you want to be really convincing."

It's a sick sense of deja-vu to wake up sore and aching all over in a sun-filled room overstuffed with cacti and a very soft blanket. The bed was empty and as you clamber to the toilet wearing a shirt found on the floor, struggling to walk, you stumble upon him in the kitchen - Cheshire grin spread all over his lips.

"Good morning," Namjoon greets. "You want some eggs, babe?"

YOONGI: His eyes track your movement as though it's dazed him and it's in moments like these you wish he was a criminal or something, a certified member of a mafia. A flag touch redder.

Stay away from Min Yoongi, they said, he's trouble but what to do when he doesn't stay away from you?

"So a kitten does come out to play," he purrs pressing one of those veiny palms against the elevator doors, halting it in its tracks and climbing in. You roll your eyes and straighten your back to appear more threatening. Yoongi, of course, couldn't give less of a shit.

"You're one to speak," you counter. "The most walking you do is through your apartment. It's like a herd of elephants."

"Well then don't listen in on what I do, you little pervert," he smirks, pressing the 8 on the elevator and it jerkily moves through the floors, reminding you once again to be grateful for life.

"Give it here," without waiting for a reply, he grabs the hold of your bags and goes straight to your apartment doors. Once inside he makes himself right at home, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

"What are we eating?" he questions gruffly, examining the produce with no small amount of judgment.

"You're speaking French now?" you push him away, relinquishing the rightful ownership of a pair of avocados you bought. "Whose "we"?"

He doesn't bother gracing it with a comment as anyhow a doorbell rings and you see his tongue poke against the cheek.

"Who the hell are you?" he questions sharply and you peer into the doorway.

"Oh, hello," you greet your coworker with a reserved smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" Yoongi echoes, placing his hand above your head and on the very edge of the door.

"Just interested if you're going to the uh... team bonding activities," he replies, fretfully glancing at Yoongi.

"Ignore him, I do," you smirk up at Yoongi. "And-"

"She has plans," Yoongi interrupts, pushing you back into the kitchen with his palm against your back.

"Oh, okay," your coworker stutters awkwardly, trying to lean in somehow. "See you around?"

"No," Yoongi cheerfully replies and smacks the door right into his face.

"You're such a dick," you groan.

"Did you have plans?" he asks with a teasing lilt, voice dropping nearly an octave lower. "And are you going to lie that it wasn't with me?"

"My jumbo-sized Charmander plushie and I are doing well on our own," you point at him with a packet of tomatoes. "Where you fit into the equation is a mystery."

"I'll tell you where I can fit," he laughed, wagging his eyebrows.

"No, no, goodbye," you wrinkle your nose in disgust, pushing his still laughing back out of the door. "Leave."

"Wait, what if I need some sugar?" he objects and you furrow your eyebrows, glaring up at him in suspicion.

"Do you?"

"No," he shrugs carelessly. "But what if."

"Begone, demon," you push against him harder but he seems to only enjoy it.

"Come to my game. It's right across the street in that park. I need a good luck charm."

"Will you be throwing a ball in your face? If no, then I'm not interested."

As you slam the door shut there still comes a raspy whine.

"Come on, short ass, come."

And if you do happen to drop by the nearest park with its shitty basketball court it's because you have nothing better to do and you needed some ice cream. Yoongi, uncharacteristically brazen for him, smirks at then winks in the middle of the game.

And promptly receives a ball to the face.

JIN: "Eat more garlic!"

"Straighten your hair with an iron!"

"Belch really, really loudly!"

You try to recall all of your friends' sage advice whilst pacifying your nerves. Being late nearly an hour didn't sit well with you but this guy was...determined. Insanely determined. So the ends justify the means.

When at last you arrive at the three Michelin star restaurant it's an hour later than what your family had set and you're wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Your face may burn with shame at such a display but certainly, this would beat this broad-shouldered man off the path. This was beyond and above rude. You're already prepared to be yelled at, scorned and insulted but Seokjin merely blooms into an eager smile. Doesn't even blink twice at your choice of wear.

He dismisses the host with a polite nod and pulls a chair out.

"Hello, _________," he greets innocently. "Traffic is hell, right."

There was no traffic and he knew it only making excuses to achieve whatever nefarious goal he had set out to.

"Just give him a chance," your mother pleaded over the phone. "He's been asking about you forever. Please, he's rich and handsome, what's not to like."

What's not to like? Well, probably something. Kim Seokjin in your mind had always stood as that annoying guy who'd dropped a water bomb on your head when you were about to take the most glorious profile picture ever. Spinning in overlapping social circles, you'd seen too much of him growing up and had to endure several of your friends flailing over him especially when the pool season began. He was like a jar of honey to their fly status. And as such only a tar in your own pot of sweetness.

He was old. You had not exactly a criminal age difference but still more than 2 years. He was a creep, you firmly plant that idea into the recesses of your mind.

Why oh why, was he so insistent on asking about you?

"Good idea," he praises, pointing at your outfit. "It's best to be comfortable. I should have done that as well, this is quite uncomfortable," he waves a disappointed hand over the blue three-piece suit.

The waiter along with the menu serves you a freshly plucked side eye.

"Yeah, that's why I did it," dryly you mutter back, hiding behind the menu.

Think, think, think, what else turns off snooty men?

"Fucking shit," you cry out to your own amazement. "These prices are ridiculous. I'm not paying for this!"

"That's fine," Jin shrugs with that seemingly permanently etched expression of a tender smile. "I invited you here, I'll pay."

You groan.

"I'll fart," you threaten.

He shrugs and gracefully pours you a glass of wine.

"Everyone does that. It's a part of life."

You slobber your dinner up like a beast.

"Hmm, you're making the meal look more delicious," he nods.

And not even when you "accidentally" spill a mango sauce on his pants worth more than your apartment, does he weigh the thought of becoming angry in his mind.

"Ah, it's a perfect colour now," he merely congratulates with a jubilant cry and you let your head fall on the table with a thud, only it hits his palm as he had stretched it out at the last second.

"Are you insane?" you breathe out in sheer desperation. "Why are you not running over the hills?"

"Do you really think I can't see that you're doing this on purpose?" he smirks in amusement, over the rim of the wine glass. "We've known each other for a while, I know you better than that."

"Exactly!" you yell before falling into a hush as numerous daggers shoot your way. "You know me! As the annoying friend of your cousin! Why are you asking after me all of a sudden?! What joke are you playing?"

"Well, first of all," Jin corrects all too self-congratulatory. "I've never thought you were annoying. Maybe except when you were like 14 but who isn't the worst person in the world at that age? And secondly," his ears abruptly turn quite pink and he lets the wine glass rest on the table, nervously fiddling with its stem. "I asked for you because as you may know your mother is quite eagerly seeking various wedlock opportunities. For you specifically."

That makes you groan only louder.

"Don't remind me. So, so what? You want to get married to me?" you snort at the idea but then, for the first time ever, Jin is not laughing.

"Yes," he says dead serious.

"Wait, is this a prank?" you glance all around in an attempt to find the hidden cameras. "Are you pulling my leg?"

"I'm pulling no legs. What a weird thing to do," Jin muses and you narrow him down.

"Don't joke. It's not funny. Say "got you" or something. You can't be serious?!"

"Listen, ___________, I've liked you for a while now. I wanted to ask you before you began university but then you brought Jae home and..."

"Jae? Jin, that was...that was five years ago! You couldn't have liked me for five years?"

He averts his eyes and sips on his champagne. Even his neck is red.

"Five years?" you cry out. "And you kept quiet?!"

"Well, I told you now!" he objects with some indignation but even more of a burning shame. "All you need to do is to decide what you're going to do. 'Cause I'll accept you as you are, belching, sweatpant wearing and all. Even if you straighten your hair with an iron."

For a second you sit still and stupefied on this ridiculously over-padded chair ad then you feel yourself match the heat blooming on his face.

"You know Giulia?" you ask, downing the entire wine while desperately trying not to smile at the soft amusement in his eyes.

"Of course, I know Giulia," Jin chuckles self-consciously. "Who do you think gave me the genius advice of this stuffy suit?"

HOSEOK: You should have known from the start that this would lead to nothing good. What else could wait for you at the end of the nondescript hallways of conference rooms? One thing you didn't expect however was the loathsome face of your ex-boyfriend. Hoseok was sitting already by the table, beautiful as ever, leg nervously bouncing against the floor and treacherously a click of a lock snapping in its place echoes behind you.

He springs up from the seat, nervously glancing at where you tried to somehow break through the door. Or the wall, whichever came first.

"Oh, hell no," you growled, nails scraping against the doorknob. The betraying Brutus of a friend he had bribed to text you to come here will find an egg on their window for sure.

"_____________, please, let's just talk," he pleads. "Just let...let me explain."

"I don't want to hear any explanation," you hissed, turning to glare at him. From the way his eyebrows sloped, you could tell he was deadset serious but then it comes too clearly back into your mind.

That you were weird, not his type, that he doesn't understand you. But instead of simply crying about it you left. To cry about it in your own space. And also then turn incredibly bitter over it.

"I just meant that..."

"That I'm a freak? Yeah, I got it," you snarled before yanking harder on the knob. "Open the damn door!"

"No. If you're going to leave then please do the courtesy of letting me memorize your face."

You close your eyes, steeling your resolve. Don't give in, you reminded yourself, not after a whole year of hunkering through yet another heartbreak. Hoseok was just like the rest. Taking weirdness in all the things you liked, that you were. Why should you ever change for anyone else?

"It's been a year," you note sternly, having slid on the floor. He's also there, watching away from the small distance with a crease of a frown between his brows.

"Exactly. This year was one of the worst I've ever had," he confesses, supposedly earnestly. "I admit the things that I said were wrong but I did not mean it like that!"

"________________ is just a bit weird. You know the people I used to date, there's a bit of a difference, softly said," you quote him word for word. "And you said that to someone else! You opened your mouth, said that shit and thought it was okay!"

The sun behind the window had nearly slipped over the horizon and the office space was illuminated with a soft orange glow.

"You know the first time I met you, that was a lie," he mutters into the air. No one had come to open the door despite you nearly beating it off the hinges.

"Oh, that too was a lie, wonderful," you groaned, rolling your eyes but Hoseok remains sitting sadly by, occasionally passively twirling his shoe laces.

"I actually went past you on the street. Remember the crossroad by that small confectionery?"

You did remember. You lived right above it for a while, making your hair smell perpetually of candy for half a year.

"I...I got lost around there and walked past you, and you were sort of listening to your headphones, not looking around. I remember," he chuckled as though taken by an old memory. "You wore that knitted jumper that kept falling off your shoulder, the faded beige one and I just...I was so jealous of you, you were so carefree."

You glanced at him surprised. As far as you knew the first time Hoseok and you met was at a graduation gathering, a friend of a friend sort of a situation. And as you sat there, enjoying your barbecue by the side, wondering whether to dip your ketchup-stained hand in some weed brownies, he came up to you with the brightest smile, talking as though he knew you. Guess he did then know you.

"And the next day I went there again. I didn't even know why but I just did and you were there again. And I kept returning," he smiled at the ground but it quickly vanished. "Every day for a month before I met you at that gathering. Sometimes you were there, a lot of times - not but when you did it lit up my entire day. I didn't know how to approach you though, it's not a thing you do in the middle of the street, you know?"

"No," you affirm faintly.

"And when you left..." Hoseok winced at the mere mention of it. "I still kept going back," his breath was nothing more than a whisper stained with regret. The look in his eyes was downright depressing and you wondered if he had roamed around bearing the same heavy chip that you had. "And our favourite cafe. And your favourite park spot. I was there like...like a ghost lingering in your presence."

"But why did you say then that I was weird?" you sniffled, letting, for the joke of your own mental stability, some of that defence down. Attempting to look at Hoseok without the veil of contempt you've draped over him for a year. Dragging yourself back from hell was hard, dragging yourself from hell when thrust there by the one person you thought wouldn't do that - even harder. But by peeling off at least one cover, you saw many wonderful memories behind it, as slightly tainted as they were.

"I don't know," he groaned, hiding his face in the palm of his hands. "I was stupid. I meant in my heart that you were unlike anyone I've been with before. Not bad but different. And, yes, sometimes I don't understand you but I want to," he rouses to look into your eyes across the room. "I want to. And even if I never fully understand, I would like to make you feel heard and stand by your side nonetheless."

You stare into the sun to avoid crying. Stupid thought as no one ever stared into this glowing orb of light hanging in the sky in order to not get misty-eyed.

"What I said there was, I admit, crass. I was scared because I...with you I don't want to leave. I don't want to call quits when it becomes uncomfortable or becomes uneasy, I want us to grow together. And that scares me because, for the first time, I can really truly get hurt," he exhaled a heavy sigh, voice growing strained. "So when you left, no explanation, just gone in the wind..." he glimpsed over the horizon. "Anyway, I recognise me cornering you like this is wrong but...if you ran away because you felt unloved, I just wanted to show that I'd be chasing after."

Hoseok wiped at his eyes and briskly got up.

"But if you didn't and don't want me, I'll open the doors," from the pocket of his jeans, he fished out a glinting silver key. "I really just wanted to memorize you for as long as I could. I'm sorry."

He opens the doors and you called out -

"Hoseok!"

JIMIN: The phone kept ringing. You'd put it on mute but even so the bright light of the flashing screen stirred you awake and after a brief wrangle of putting the chip bowl actually on the table nearby, kicking your leg free from the grasp of the blanket, you simply watched it ring. After eventually growing into silence, it went to the 45 unanswered calls like the rest. You sighed turned to your side and slid the eye mask over the face, trying to somehow coerce yourself into immediate and indisputable slumber.

This was just the outward manifestation of his bruised ego, nothing more. You don't think anyone had ever rejected Park Jimin so this must be a new, unfamiliar feeling, one he'll get over in time and then maybe even laugh about it years down the line.

I mean, come on, you thought to yourself cutting the words like bloodied post-it notes in your own mind. There's no such thing as a rich handsome guy genuinely falling for someone so...

The disgusting words sprung too freely on the tip of your tongue so you settle for normal. To not at least give into self-hatred so easy. Such was the plot of romantic dramas and fantasies hence why it was fiction. Rich, beautiful people went for other rich beautiful people, normal folks went for normal folks. Dogs did not mix with chickens or pandas with capybaras. It was simply nonsense.

But as you close your eyes, the memories make it harder to be as clinically objective. All too well, you remember. His hands on your face, grasping as though he feared you would leave.

"Why don't you ever believe me?" he asked with heated desperation. "Nothing I say is ever good enough. Nothing is trustworthy!"

You tried to pry him gently away.

"Because how can I believe you? Look at yourself and look at me. This is not even opposites it's...unfathomables!"

You wished partially that he'd go to the good old Mr Park of the beginning, one who'd walked up to you in a cafe and asked if for a fair amount of money you'd be willing to answer his phone and pretend to be his girlfriend. And since the sum he called out was the rate of an onerous monthly rent, you'd plastered the sweetest voice you could in a matter of seconds with no questions asked.

When thinking of all the troubles when he approached you again, completely by accident, you had thought to yourself jail, assault, violence, even cannibalism for good measure, who knew what kind of sicko this stranger could be, but never you considered you'd be scared by the simple fact that he was in love with you. He had been cold, rude and brusque at the start and you had been fine with that, your "job" was to sometimes go to family dinners and lie which while not moral was not a crime.

Only then he invited to accompany him to his office, then to trips, then to movies and then one day you wake up in your bed and Mr Park, once a cold and resigned man, drenched in his own riches, is now making pancakes on your old stovetop and smiles the kindest smile you'd ever seen and asks if you slept well.

How could it not be a scary sight?

"I love you!" he shook you by the shoulders, not hard enough to hurt but as if trying to shake the bad thoughts out. "But you hate yourself! And you never listen!"

"They'll think I'm a gold-digger!" you cried. Just looking around his apartment made you sick. You couldn't even afford his carpet. How could he love someone with whom he shared so little with? He had never known the feeling of counting one's last money to afford bread or not buying something out of impulse. And you had never known the etiquette of polite brutality, of caring about who sits where because one word spoken at the wrong crowd table could destroy your entire livelihood. Love didn't change two profoundly different experiences.

"They don't think that!" he argued. "My parents wanted me to be with someone-"

"Poor?" you interrupted finally wrenching yourself free. Why was he so cruelly saying these things? He will just make you love him and then dump you with nary concern. Like others and then in time you will always think that you should have known better. Should have gotten rid of those rose-tinted glasses sooner not when they're smashed in shatters on the cold concrete.

"No!" Jimin immediately counters. "Of a different social circle! And even if they did, I don't care!"

"But the press-!"

"I don't care!"

"The rest of your relatives and friends-!"

"I don't care!" he yelled back, ripping at his hair, faint tears lingering in his eyes. "What will it take for you to believe me?! Please, why don't you believe me?"

"I can't!" you shrieked back in a sob. "Because better you not love me at all than fall out of it after some time! I don't want to be loved! I don't want to trust! I just want to be alone!"

Alone is what you were now but it felt no better.

"It will," you calmed yourself aloud. "Give it some time and your life will return to how it was."

Boring. Monotone. A single actor performing the most dreadful play to an audience of no spectators. You sniffled punching the pillow. Stupid Park Jimin waltzing into your life and making you think you were not the person you saw in your mind. That you were better. But how can you be when you're always "you"? A nameless face in the crowd, a cog in the machine.

No one, really.

As a sudden hand wraps around your waist, you scream and nearly punch the lights out of the affectionate attacker before in the faint streetlight streaming through the windows you recognized Jimin's eyes.

"How did you get in here?" you rustled in indignation.

"I had a key made. Remember? So I could greet you at home after work," he explained sternly.

"Well, you can't be here now-" you tried to argue, even push him out if needed, but he grasped at your legs and wrestled you to sit atop of him. You always fretted you were too heavy but he never objected.

"I'll leave if you order me to leave. Say those exact words: "Jimin, I want you to leave and never return back."

"I want to be alone," you muttered out of force of habit playing with the neck of his shirt.

"It's not the same," he cupped your cheek. "Until you tell me to piss off in my face, I'll keep chasing you every time you run. You think no one would? I will. Over and over again."

Your lip wobbled.

"It's ungrateful work," you breathed as he tugged you closer into a hug, gently swaying from left to right.

"Not to me."

TAEHYUNG: It takes thirty minutes for your aunt, a known stick in the mud, to go from screaming why was there a whole ass adult man traipsing in the apartment her niece should keep an eye on, to peacefully discussing the best nut selection over the kitchen table with eagerly listening Taehyung on the other side.

You were 35% convinced he knew how to do magic, and 65% convinced he was magic. And if he feasibly could he would live in your asshole. And the worst of all you can't get rid of him.

Well no, the worst of all you don't want to.

Coming from a rough environment, no matter how you slice or dice it, that leaves its own impression upon the mind. Yours being - people leave, people lie, people bad. It was easy to go through life, more than two decades of them in selective solitude, having friends but never letting them too close in and soon after they would stop even being friends. It was easy and predictable and while no one cared for you, you had to care for no one, could go where you wanted, how and when you wanted and fully enjoy doing what you liked.

And then this curly-headed now human reincarnated tiger-bear hybrid showed up. Literally dropping out of nowhere whilst still in university, pointing a finger of his frankly too large of a hand at you and then basically saying: "I want that one, that one's mine". Actually no, he did say exactly those words as you remember faintly chucking a dictionary of law at his head, thinking he'll abduct you or something.

And that's how six years later you were moved in. And he had invaded every part of your life, with his kind words, sopping eyes and chiselled chin.

As Taehyung slowly drifted to sleep, eyes falling heavier, his hand is intertwined with yours. And as you'll go to sleep yourself, despite him having his own bed, inexplicably you'll wake up with his breath against the back of your head.

Which was strange you know. You don't even remember agreeing to be friends with him. But steady as a clockwork, lo' and behold, at two in the morning, Taehyung's thigh squirms in between yours and he sighs in content.

Bizarre to say the least.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asks in wonder, poking his very shirtless body through the crack in the bathroom doors, toothbrush hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Out?"

"Wait, lemme comme with."

"Can I go out on my own? As the big girl that I am?" you huffed dryly, brows furrowed.

"No," he replied with a smile. Then you walk side by side you glare at your hands, swaying together in the warm air.

"A crazy question, one I'm just putting out there, will you ever...leave?" you ask with a faint frown. There might just be this...supposition, guesswork if you will, in your mind that it might just be that somehow you're...Taehyung's partner now.

"Hmm," he makes an act of pondering it out. "No, no, I don't think I will. Unless you kick me out."

Kick him out. Why didn't you? When previous lovers threw fits about Taehyung always being near, you parted with them with nary of guilt because they were...not your rock. Your rock and safe space had become this strange, occasionally vampiric-looking, a cardigan-loving friend of yours. But he never vocalized it. Or so you thought. He was always teasing you about being hard of emotional hearing, now that you thought about it.

You halted in the middle of the sidewalk and he turns to glimpse at you, curious.

"Taehyung...are you...in love with me?"

Astonishingly, he bursts into a peal of laughter.

"I have been for years now," he chuckles light-heartedly. "Though thank you for finally noticing."

"Wh-why didn't you say something? Anything?"

An expression of deep fondness settles on his face and it warms you like the late summer sun.

"I say "I love you" every day, dumbass. I've chased after you for like six years now. Oh, god," he gasps, sounding suddenly absolutely horrified. "Six years of my life wasted chasing after your stupid head. Oh, I'm an idiot."

"So a moron for a moron, a match made in lower intelligence," you grumble and he snorts at it, crossing the distance once more. When he takes your hand it feels weird for a second. But only for one. You ask yourself what will change and realize - not much.

"That we are Mrs Kim," he coos with a broad grin. "Great! Now I can show you the plans for our shared tombstone I sketched back in the university!"

JUNGKOOK: "He's...will he be staring like that for the entire evening?" your friend asks timidly, voice nearly overshadowed even by the pleasant music of the brunch place. You glimpse over your shoulder to find him aimlessly lounging around. When meeting your gaze, his lips, almost involuntary, spread into a wide grin as his nose scrunches in a manner that is inappropriate for any self-respecting bodyguard. He at least gathers that and sobers with a stern cough.

"Yeah, he's just...my...finance manager," lamely, you trail off but at least they believe it. Considering the last three months it wasn't that believable.

"In a twist of miraculous fate, a poor vintage boutique worker becomes the sole inheritor of the Durhanan Estate," she quotes with a mysterious smile and you squirm awkwardly as you always did when it was bought up. Six years of lawsuits had rendered the luck into a frenzied fever dream one you thought would never come to fruition. Even when the final decision was laid to rest and the lawyers of your great-grandfather popped their champagnes with cheery eyes it all felt so distant. Like a different life. That feeling, you find out, never left.

"Yeah, it's...crazy," you chuckled self-consciously.

"So is the old house haunted?" she questions leaning over the table with keen interest, though every once in a while her gaze does stray worryingly to where Jungkook was standing.

"It's just creepy. It's big...and old," you confess perhaps colouring it with hues too bold, knowing only the answer such as this would satisfy her interest. It was old and entirely too big (who needed thirty-four rooms) but with Jungkook it was less lonely, less of a ghost house and more of a...

No, it's stupid, don't say it, you think to yourself.

"So now that you're rich," she throws a not-so-small of judgemental look over the crystal glass of mimosa. "Will you be forgetting all about us?"

"No," you assure her. "This means nothing. It's just a change of...housing."

But she only scoffs in reply. You think you might not have your best friend much longer.

"You look unhappy," Jungkook reckons quietly, whilst driving back to the Durhanan estate. A nearly 300-year chateau hidden within an unnamed forest deep in the countryside. Once the chief story of the local children's ghost tales and now - your home.

Of sorts.

"I'm just tired," you deny, peering into the rolling landscape of the wilting greenery. A rougher hand suddenly rests atop of yours, stopping them from ripping the skin around the fingernails. Your face swelters with heat and you gently remove his palm.

You were his boss and this was...this was not appropriate.

But Jungkook has other ideas and despite there being thirty-four rooms and whooping nine acres of gardens there's hardly any escape from him.

"My lady, oh, my lady," he calls across the gravel path leading down into the overgrown, ivy-ridden paths. He runs up to you and then gently tucks the bloom of one of the wild roses ravaging the grounds behind your ear. He tries to suppress the smirk on his face and narrows his eyes against the glaring sun.

"You're...you," he stutters. "You doing anything special, tonight?"

You don't quite know why but that question, posed so innocently and presumably out of a need to start a conversation, makes you laugh. It was only you two here, no wifi, piss-poor electricity and the nearest town, a village actually, was thirty-minute drive away and the only thing interesting there was a two-room corner shop.

"Wondering whether we're going to be killed by demons, yes," you laughed lightly.

"I was just wondering whether we could bust out the old reliable solitaire in the library?"

You sigh but it falls more endeared than annoyed.

"Jungkook, stop trying to seduce me."

At first, his face seems to be crestfallen only for a cheeky smirk to appear.

"Trying?" he echoed and slightly leaned into you. A gust of sharp wind broke through the gardens and in sync you glanced at the sky above your heads. A cluster of dark clouds was gathering in the south.

"Let's go in," he urges softly but his body standing behind you flames your back.

A thunder was ripping outside like something crazy, rattling the panes of the window so hard you fretted they would shatter at some point. And the house screamed. Every breeze of the wind seemed to tear into the old floorboards as though they were alive.

Ghosts are not real, ghosts are not real, ghosts are not-

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

You screamed your lungs out, lunging towards the golden candelabra perched on the bedside table.

"You're alright? Are you okay?" Jungkook's voice swims through the dark and you exhale in loud relief.

"Do not! Scare me like that!"

After a moment and a creak of the old floor comes a bashful.

"Sorry."

Another crack of lightning. In the brief flash, you see him standing, unsure but not leaving. It was a bodyguard's duty to protect and he always took his duty quite seriously. Even if this duty was simply to protect you from any unwanted journalists and stalkers where there was none leaving him practically with nothing to do.

"Should I stay here? Protect you...from the storm?"

You raise an eyebrow.

"The storm? That is-"

CRACK!

"Yes, please and thank you," you whimper and not even a second later, the side of your bed dips.

Crickets might as well be chirping at the moment.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" he offers, sweetly, oh so sweetly as if he wasn't a little demon wearing a cheap halo. But still, the house continues its wail. How many lives had been lost in these walls? What stories did they tell?

You didn't want to know and so you agree but as he takes your palm, your hand lands on a very firm set of muscles.

"Jungkook, please retake 9th-grade biology, your six-pack is not a hand."

"It emits the same level of comfort."

He trails your hand higher, over his pecks and lands right on his heart. It drums like a fevered bird underneath your fingertips.

"Why are you so nervous?" you hum and he rolls on his side and settles himself onto the pillow.

"Because I like you. And you like me. Even if you pretend that you don't."

"It's really not ap-"

"Appropriate?" he finishes and then tugs his hands over your waist pulling you closer. "Perhaps not but you know what happens in the spooky old mansion, stays in the spooky old mansion."

His warm palm cups your cheek, stroking it with a dizzied smile.

"And if it doesn't, I'm a really good runner, so you can scurry all you like," a pause. His hand presses you even closer.

© soraviii/soraviie 2022-2023

[missy-0-piink]

i think lovecraft would be a service dom, imagine him lapping at your cunt for hours..

ARRRRGH 👹👹👹👹

YESYESYES

Omg tentacle tongue?!?!??!?

Sign me the fuck up 😋😋😋😋

His jaw wouldn’t get tired. Ever.

So you’d be there all day/night, thighs quivering in his hold as his long and slimy tongue slathers your pussy for hours

The texture is strange, you think, but pleasurable

Oh so pleasurable

You can see him look up at you with a bored and uninterested expression that completely contradicts the fervour of which his tongue flicks against your clit

Before you can register, though, a second tentacle structure, a second tongue, appears from his mouth and slips inside of you, the other still licking circles into your clit

You let out a yelp, instinctively trying to close your thighs but lovecraft holds them open with no strain; his strength greatly surpassing yours

the feeling is so fucking intense

You can then feel a third, thinner tongue trail down to the rim of your ass, just circling it, not entering

The combination of sensations makes you see stars as you lay there, helpless to the onslaught of pleasure lovecraft brings you

His bored gaze never leaves you; your body and your face, drinking in the twitches and expressions, basking in the high pitched moans that leave your mouth

And after you cum?

He doesn’t fucking stop

Your hips buck and your body arches, unable to handle the overstimulation

You manage to scoot yourself away somewhat, but lovecraft just pulls you back, spreading your thighs even wider as he lets out a warning growl

You sob as he continues, making you cum a second time

Then a third

Then a fourth

Then a fifth

By the time he’s done, you’re on the verge of passing out and slump completely when he pulls his tongues away from you, using them to lick up the slick that’s covered his face, chin and neck while letting out a hum of appreciation

“You always taste sweet, like chocolate…” he muses, standing there weirdly like he always does after any sexual activities

If you were anyone else, it would have killed the mood indefinitely

Yet, you just roll your eyes and chuckle, responding “No, my dear, I definitely do not. you either always say that or that I taste like ice cream haha… but I’m glad you like it”

(Disclaimer: You definitely did not taste like chocolate or icecream, he just didn’t know what else to compare a good taste to)

You sink further into the sheets, feeling a wet cloth rub against you body, gently cleaning you

You smile,

You had taught him well

————

I had to add a goofy ending

This mf is so weird

I find it adorable

Also well done, you’ve made me add him to my simp list with this ask 😜

Also, just a little psa,

Don’t expect ur pussy to taste or smell sweet, it’s a fucking vagina for gods sake

Like, if it smells like a dead animal then yeah, go to the doctors but if it just smells slightly unpleasant? It’s fucking normal

I see too many people getting self conscious abt it bc of this unrealistic expectation that it should “taste like sweet desserts” or fucking “smell like flowers 🥺”

Like no, Tf????

And please for the love of god don’t buy products that advertise making your pussy “smell and taste good” or try to clean out your actual vaginal cavity

That shit screams “yeast infection”

A pussy is a pussy, and all pussies are beautiful so don’t be ashamed of it 🫡

[whilomm]

5 months post top surgery i have a lotta random Feelings about it. Overall, defo feel positive about it, but also random bits of hmm. Like, not negative feelings per se, just ya kno, the usual complicated mix that comes from big changes.

Sometimes i get random pangs of "aw i miss boobs a lil" like just when im sitting around the apartment and kinda missing the ability to grab a boob whenever. Which isnt unexpected at all, before the surgery i was straight up saying "gonna miss having built in stress balls". which, like. i could just buy some? maybe try and find someone else to let me have some tit time? still, in an ideal world i would have been a shapeshifter and i could have been boobless 95% of the time and then 5% of the time rock some knockers. unfortunately, im NOT a shapeshifter, so i decided to forgoe the 5% of the time i appreciated tits in order to not be fucking miserable the other 95% of the time. overall win, but still. wish i was a shapeshifter and i didnt have to make decisions and shit.

and i guess I haven't had that much gender euphoria from it, looking in the mirror its less "omg!!! yay!!! 🥰🥰🥰" and more just. "yep, that looks about right." like, i guess its just to where i kinda forget it, ya kno? i mean, i cant FORGET forget, everytime i take off my shirt im looking at how my scars are healing and pokin em and all that, but when im wearing a shirt im just not thinking about it.

which. major fucking improvement from before (constantly thinking about my chest and how uncomfortable i am and how much i hate wearing bras and how i just wanted them GONE) but maybe its sorta a "its harder to recognize the absence of dysphoria than the presence of euphoria" kinda thing. ive always had issues with emotional impermanence (if im sad ive always been sad if im happy ive always been happy), so since its not a huge euphoria thing i feel like its easy for me to forget just how much i hated it before. i look in the mirror, i try on shirts, i walk around and i forget that anythings different since it just feels correct, so when i have moments of thinking to myself "yeah this is pretty cool, idk if it was fully necessary tho" i have to actively remind myself how much i fucking hated it before.

one thing that is absolutely a 100% positive tho? fucking PHYSICAL COMFORT. god just not having to deal with goddamn H cups is a blessing in and of itself. no more bras, no more tits sliding outta place randomly at work while im doing boxes, no more boob sweat, no more underboob yeast infections, no more painful jiggling whenever i run, i can exercise without worrying about a sports bra (....theoretically. ILL START EXERCISING AGAIN EVENTUALLY I PROMMY), less back pain (less. not no. my backs still fucky lmao). its FUCKING FANTASTIC not having to worry about any of that. and shirts just fit better!!! who would have thought that massive fucking protrusions on my chest were making it harder to find clothes :0 (me i thought that)

TOP SURGERY RATING:

ability to touch boobs whenever i want: ⭐ u win some u lose some 😔

Gender Feelings: ⭐⭐⭐ yea p chill. no biggie but also might be Emotional Impermanence. just feels natural u kno?

comfort: ⭐🌟💫⭐🌠x10 million holy SHIT i was fucking DYING before.

OVERALL: yes 👍

[winderlylandchime]

1/3 We are officially on season 3! And it is a lot and I’m not even sorry for how long this one is because he went through a rollercoaster. And it did start with me starting the ep and then yelling ‘WAIT NO IM MOT READY!’ And then he went to get him Team Brian shirt..this is my actual life now. Anyway: ‘I swear I didn’t touch the tv! I don’t know why it’s without color. (I let him know it’s the ep) oh, well now i feel silly. What’s going on? HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF SHIT AND HELL! HE JUST PUNCHED HIM! HE FUCKING DID IT! I HAVE WAITED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT! OH THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL! FUCK YEAH! FINALLY!! FUCKING FINALLY! *takes the remote and proceeds to rewind it three more times* Oh that was beautiful, i have never felt more alive than in this exact moment. What a beautiful punch! Oh i can tell he himself has wanted to do that for a while…wait why did he do it though? Hold up, i gotta calm down, this made my heart run a marathon’ He paused the tv on Mikeys face falling on the ground and is just staring at it while the biggest smile on his face and then very softly he whispered to himself “again.” ‘ohhhhhh Mad Dog Kinney? I fuck with that. BUT WHAT DID HE DO?! I mean what didn’t he do. But like what happened. Oh fuck, i forgot he narrates this thing…why is he doing that when nobody watches or cares for him? Should the actors who play Brian and Justin narrate? Can he stop talking? Yes please show me what the fuck just happened but now, do it in color!’ I’ve never seen him this happy. ‘NO NO NO NOT THE FUCKING PARTY AGAIN! HAVEN’T I SUFFERED ENOUGH?! Oh look it’s Brian *brian drives off* nevermind.’ The sound that just came out of this mans mouth at the sight of Justin in Ethans bed and the violin music is actually insane. ‘SHOVE THAT FUCKING TAMBOURINE UP YOUR ASS! *pauses tv on naked ethan playing violin and puts his head in his hands and elbows on his knees* UGHHHHHHHHH WHY GOD WHY ME?! *plays ep and ethan says he promised to serenade him awake, immediately hits pause again and burst into laughter and then plays it again* EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW..oh he got him a rose and chocolate for breakfast..what a fucking idiot. Oh he can’t believe he’s finally here? what a fucking weasel and a cheater! I hate them both right now. This *flaps his hand towards ethan and justin* is worse than…quick what’s something really bad? Well whatever! It’s worse than that’ He is sitting on the couch and he just started slowly sliding off of it and is hiding his his face behind his hand. (justin says he can’t stay) ‘haha nobody wants to be around you. He has to pick up his stuff. Where is he gonna live? Debbie’s? Is THAT HOW THEY GET BACK TOGETHER? *mocks ethan* what if he’s there..dude, you fucked him, you stole him and you’re STILL insecure.. i mean good but cmon. YOU DONT CARE CAUSE YOURE WITH HIM? Oh fuck you Justin. SHOVE THAT ROSE UP YOUR ASS! I would die if he stabs Justin with a thorn now. THEY DONT MAKE RAGE ANYMORE? FUCK YOU JUSTIN’ He genuinely sounds like someone is torturing him because he keeps groaning and going ‘ugh!’ Every few seconds. ‘Who do you think you are to just come into his loft? Oh he’s really gonna pack it away whi- OMG HES FUCK- wait that’s them. Didn’t that happen in season 1? Wait this looks the same but different, did they just make ice cream fucking part of their Tuesday nights? Dude, I said it back then and I’ll say it again: hot but yeast infection waiting to happen! *pauses on Brian* HOW CAN HE LEAVE AND CHEAT ON THIS? You will never have that with the pianist! Oh so they’re just gonna show me all the times they fucked before he fucked it all up?’ And he went out to smoke. Honestly, he lasted longer than i expected. ‘I forgot about Emmett and Ted. I…I dont think I like it anymore..*looks at me curiously* are all you lesbians like this? Not knowing how to mind your business? Because this *flaps his hand towards mel and linds* is annoying. Their whole thing in this show is cheating and not minding their business’

He had to get his Team Brian t shirt… like he’s watching sports!! (Don’t people wear their team jerseys when they watch sports? I, myself, am not a sports watcher.)

Oh I forget he narrates the thing - SO RELATABLE. Why does Michael narrate the thing? Who’s idea was that?

The cringe of seeing Ethan with Justin and (more importantly) Justin with Ethan is a whole thing this season. Buckle up, brother anon.

“I would die if he stabs justin with a thorn now” UM, so just like wait a handful of episodes and we’ll get to Justin being stabbed with thorns.

Hot but yeast infection waiting to happen. I forgot we didn’t get his reactions to the earliest episodes. But yes, do not put sugar things in your sugar bits and bobs.

HOW CAN HE LEAVE AND CHEAT ON THIS. Indeed, inquiring minds want to know.

Mel and Linds give lesbians a bad name. The representation of wlw on this show was the worst.

[cloudselkie]

So yesterday, I got a lesson in just how shitty my immune system is now that I'm on biologics.

The back of my neck has been itchy all week. Like, REALLY itchy. I figured I was just a spot I missed with sunscreen and went about my life. Come Saturday night, after almost a week of constant itching, I take a picture of it so I can see what it looks like.

It looks like a fungal infection. After a quick google, I find out that A. yes, it is most likely fungus, B. this is common for people one biologics, and C. it can end up life threatening if not treated asap. So, yesterday, my fiance and I went to the urgent care because it's the only place open on Sundays and saw the doctor. She agreed that it was likely yeast and gave me a pill and some cream.

And how did I get a yeast infection on my fucking neck? Because it's been 100° or above for weeks, I'm fat and sweat profusely, and I have long hair that traps the moisture.

So now, I have to avoid doing anything that makes me sweat for at least a week and have to keep my hair in a bun every day to keep it dry enough to heal.

I've been on this shit for 10 weeks and I'm so fucking done. I feel like a fucking disgusting cesspool of gross. All for trying to fucking exist with Crohns.

[cyberphuck]

(Not you sweetie, you're amazing and perfect) Shut the fuck up with this "if you're not actively pissing on a cop's shoes then you don't get to reclaim slurs" shit. We reclaimed the slurs for ALL OF US so that ALL OF US could use them, not just the ones who "do the work." You do to the work so that OTHER PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO, you fucking anal yeast infection. THAT IS CAPITALIST BULLSHIT. I HAVE MADE THE BREAD ON MY OWN BUT I WILL SHARE IT WITH THOSE WHO WERE UNABLE TO HELP BECAUSE I AM NOT A FUCKING MEGASOPHAGUS WHO EXCLUDES THOSE MOST IN NEED OF MY KINDNESS. How DARE you claim you're anti-ableist. Literally, fuck ALL THE WAY OFF, like pack your shit, book your tickets in advance, make sure to clear your cookies so the airline doesn't charge you too much, aim for the middle of the week for the best price, check in 24 hours before the flight, arrive at the airport at least two hours in advance, get your tickets from the kiosk, go through the security line where you have to take your PROBABLY STUPID-LOOKING shoes off and stand in the whirly thing, awkwardly try to gather all your shit from the gray bins and get out of the way so you're not holding up the line, find a place to sit down and put your PROBABLY STILL STUPID-LOOKING shoes back on, walk three miles to your gate, get there and realize there's still an hour and a half until departure, buy a $57 coffee even though you'd told yourself you weren't going to ("oh, well I GUESS if all they have is Starbucks I'll get one, but usually I only drink ARTISAN BREWS from STUPID FUCKFACE COFFEE COMMUNE"), plug your phone into one of the charging ports at the gate only to find that they don't work, hunch in one of the uncomfortable chairs, look up as the gate starts to get crowded with people, listen to 89 announcements from the gate lady as people crowd around and forget how to form a fucking line, stand around and glare at your phone as people with first class tickets get to board ahead of you, sigh irritatedly at the 15 people whose carryons are way too big and they KNEW it but they were gonna try to get on with them anyway and now they have to check them at the gate and it's taking forever, worriedly watch a woman with a small child board along with you and pray that it doesn't start crying because you ALREADY have a headache, find a seat and buckle in, listen to the flight attendants explain and re-explain to people how to put their stupid bags in the overhead bins and how it's "a very full flight" so don't just jam it in any which way, get up and slide out into the aisle so the guy who paid more for the window seat can get by you, make awkward eye contact with him for a moment and give him the White Person Smile (tm) before settling back in, grunt as the person in the seat in front of you drops their seat back practically in your face, listen to the flight attendant talk about emergency exists and the floatation devices because even though you've heard it before but you're lowkey afraid if you don't pay attention then this'll be the time you need that information, stare out the window where you can just barely see the runway crew loading the bags into the cargo hold, breathe a sigh of relief as the engines finally start up and you taxi to the runway, turn onto it and hear the engines wind up to a roar, get pressed back into your seat as the pilot brings you down the runway, feel that weird lift as the plane gets airborne, and relax as you're finally on your way to

FUCKING OFF

Posting faggot and queer like 2am gunshots to keep property values on my blog low and scare away assimilationist LGBTs who want to replace my empty lot full of native wildflowers with a 5-over-1 because they're too traumatized by their upbringing to accept the reality of our diverse marginalized community

[dumbjackass]

I just feel like fucking dog shit.

I though I had a yeast infection, took meds, didn't clear, went to the docs, and its not that.

they think its bv. been taking meds almost finished with absolutely no improvement. they thought it looked like that or an STD.

dont think my partners cheating but the mention makes me edgy and feel some type of way.

reading and reading. don't really think I have an STD or bv cuz I'm not smelly I'm just in fucking pain.

cant prove it but FAIRLY sure this is vaginal atrophy from my detransition. I have every symptom and this makes way more sense. Atrophy was also something I brought up to my doc specifically when I went to her to talk for the first time about all this and she just sat there like "mmmhmmm:)" and then did nothing. I even specifically mentioned going on estrogen for it.

And as I read more I just feel sadder and sadder. it says treating vaginal atrophy will take weeks before I get any sort of comfort and it's not a curable problem.

I loved my sex life and to think of it being so greatly impacted because of someones negligence is so fucking enraging and heartbreaking. I feel so disconnected to him not being able to engage in that way and I'm also in so much pain all the time I cant really function so I just never feel like I'm present. I just feel like I'm by myself and I'm miserable. thinking of not being able to have a normal sex life honestly makes me want to die.

I don't know yet I still haven't gotten my labs back so for all I know its still bv maybe I just have some shitty strain who knows. Occasionally I just hope its gonorrhea because at least you can cure that quickly and I can get out of this misery faster but I don't think that's the case.

Its been days and I've called already and they don't have anything. I also messaged my doc through the portal before the weekend about being in a dysfunctional amount of pain and have just gotten no response.

i just want some fucking relief.

[jodilin65]

Woke up very tired today and tried to tell myself it was no big deal, I expected it, and yesterday’s energy was something I had just once in a while. But it is a big deal and it does bother me. I want to be out there living my life. Not stuck at home so much of the time suffering or at least not having energy. I sit and think to myself, I remember the days when I could be outdoors most of the time and I could be active doing things on a regular basis, even if “active” didn’t necessarily mean running a mile a minute.

And then I also found, upon waking up, that the dreaded UTI I feared I would get had flourished overnight. I began noticing more burning a couple of days ago but today has been the most obvious. I’m 95% sure it is a UTI. That other small percentage wonders if it could be because I took a few days off of the Replens and the probiotics. Seems a bit extreme for that, though, so I’m still going with a UTI. I’ve been drinking cranberry juice and I messaged Rhonda. I told her I had 4 nitrofurantoin pills left over from when they switched me to something for my kidney infection and that I could start treatment tonight and asked if she could call in 6 more to make it the 10 they usually prescribe.

I’ve had an underlying feeling of nausea all day, but since my number twos started back up again it’s been a little better.

There I was doing better overall and now I get hit with the virus and then the UTI. My next concern is a yeast infection. I just can’t get a break! Irrational or not, I sometimes can’t help the feeling that something is using my body against me since it hasn’t been able to use other things to fuck with me as easily as it used to. Imagine that kind of control and power - hate someone enough to want to pick on them and make their body do whatever you want it to do to torture them. I really hope to hell there’s nothing up there that evil!

In neighborhood news, the honker took the motorcycle out while I slept, and didn’t wake me up. Still, I wish his company would get the fuck out already so he wouldn’t ride the thing every day. Furthermore, I wish they would stop coming to visit every single year. My parents left Massachusetts five years before I did and I was only down here twice. Never came here from the West and of course, there was that decade when I wouldn’t have anything to do with them.

Then there’s Linda, the bitch I’ve dubbed a Little Miss Be Happy. I noticed a bench sitting out front for tomorrow’s pick up and I thought why not grab it to put in back? So I walked up to her door which was open and saw she had three other ladies sitting around her kitchen table. They told me to come in, and I’m not sure if she looked horrified to see who it was or what, but I introduced myself as if we’d never met, played kind and dumb, and asked her about the bench. She warned me it wasn’t safe to sit on and she was right. Tom and I checked it out and saw it was old and flimsy. I’m sure she badmouthed me to her little friends after I left too, not that I give a shit.

I later thanked the “lady” in the group for warning me that it was rickety and that I didn’t get names because she had company and I didn’t want to intrude. Of course she never responded, lol, but a couple of others did, saying they would keep looking, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the ones at her house at the time.

I know it’s mean and perhaps immature as well but sometimes even I like to play with people a little. I guess the prankster in me can’t ever be fully extinguished. When I read back on some of my earlier journals, I see I really did do a lot of silly and immature things. I’m sure we all feel that way when we look back on our pasts at times. Just the way I took Nane so seriously was kind of ridiculous.

Tom and I were talking about the West Coast versus the East Coast and we both agreed that while we have met some horrible people on both coasts as well as some that were great, the West Coast was definitely friendlier in general. When I compare our neighbors here to the ones we had in Cali even though I was out and about more back there, even crazy Dixie was friendlier. Other than Toni and Irma, and then Sue and Annette from Bingo, everyone around us is pretty antisocial or just not very friendly. Most of them are a bunch of Bible-thumping bigots with big mouths. No one here compares to the “Twenties” or Bob and Virginia. Even Geri across the street was nice with the exception of her letting her dog bark. Jim and “Santa” were nice too. I don’t miss California, though. Just having some breathing room around us and a bigger house.

I like to play around with different apps and try new things. Most of them I end up dumping but the dream app I’m trying is kind of cool. You write down what you dreamed and you can generate an image based on whatever you dreamed to go with it, then it interprets your dream.

[hareofhrair]

Some actual tips for vagina owners-

1) Stop messing with it! That’s 90% of your problem. It can take care of itself. You don’t need to put soap or anything else anywhere near it. Douches are a scam. Avoid scented menstrual products like the plague. It’s gonna have a natural odor and that’s just how a healthy body smells. If the smell gets funky or fishy in a new way, see a doctor. If you take baths and you put soap or bathbombs in the water, that can cause issues, but everyone’s sensitivity is different so you may be fine. Shaving is also generally unnecessary. It’s not more hygienic, I don’t know where op heard it causes infections because that’s news to me. You can still shave if you just prefer how that looks, but be careful of not letting any shaving cream or what have you get in the crevices. And for gods sake don’t wax, or worse try to use nair down there.

2) Let it breathe! That’s the second major cause of problems. Tight clothes in synthetic fabrics that don’t breathe well like bike shorts, nylon pantyhose, or the number one offender- silk panties. Lingerie is a *sometimes* thing. You want cotton and air flow down there. I embrace going commando whenever practical, but that’s not for everybody. It’s not that you can never wear tight clothes, just make sure to balance it out by giving yourself some airing out time.

3) Pee after penetration! It doesn’t matter what got put inside you, penis, fingers, toys, it all introduces outside shit to your personal biome. Peeing afterward helps flush everything out. You don’t need to do anything else! Just rinse with clean water if there’s mess and go piss girl (or whatever).

If you’re still having problems-

Check what medications you’re taking. Some meds, particularly antibiotics, can mess with your native yeast population. If a doc puts you on antibiotics you can pretty much guarantee a yeast infection is coming.

If you have sex with the same be-penised individual often, you might want to check if *they* have a yeast infection. Yeah, penises can get them too, though they often go unnoticed until they’re severe. And if they’re putting that in your situation, they can literally spread it to you.

Consider getting on hormonal birth control. The fluctuations around your cycle can be a trigger.

IF YOU ARE HAVING MORE THAN FOUR YEAST INFECTIONS IN A YEAR, TELL A DOCTOR.

That can be a sign of more serious medical issues, especially if you’ve already ruled out the usual suspects up there.

That’s all, and good luck with your vag!

Having a vagina honestly sucks bc it's like you have to do fucking alchemy just to prevent yourself from getting sick. You've got an intricate ecosystem of microorganisms down there that you're dependent on for your own well-being and they can be set off by the tiniest fucking thing

Keeping your pubes too short can cause yeast infections, but letting them get too long can also cause yeast infections. Washing the area with specialized soap can help prevent yeast infections, but it can also cause them. Your periods can cause yeast infections, and so can the medicine you take to stop your periods. Having sex can cause yeast infections, especially if the person you're having sex with is diabetic (???). Being diabetic can cause yeast infections. Wearing the wrong clothes or eating the wrong things can cause yeast infections. Not getting enough fucking sleep can cause yeast infections. The list is neverending

Luckily, yeast infections are fairly easy to treat with OTC medicine that you can find at any Walmart. BUT! Even if all of your symptoms indicate that you have a yeast infection, you have to take a test first to confirm that it's a yeast infection (they do not sell the tests at Walmart) bc you might actually have the opposite of a yeast infection (bacterial vaginosis) which has the exact same symptoms as a yeast infection but is caused by an imbalance of different microorganisms. And if you use yeast infection medicine to treat a bacterial infection it will light your pussy on fire. So if you have a bacterial infection, you must instead visit your local witch doctor (gynecologist) and get prescribed special potions (antibiotics) to treat it

Antibiotics can also cause yeast infections

[yungviry]

one of the things that makes it so hard to move on is my inability to voice myself. my tumblr and notebooks have become a haven for me to speak my truth, securely. Without fear or judgement, I’m just going to share it all.

so if you see it and don’t like it, should have minded yours. this is my private page. no one looks, hiding in plain site, no one peeks. so if you do and want to get upset, like I said, this is for me and my well being.

I’ve gone over the majority of the steps of grief. Been mad and sad, in denial, laughed it off. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions, but regardless I want to get them all out.

You don’t know how irritated I am with myself. I go between airing maliks business on Twitter or keeping it to myself, but it’s not fair for me to suffer in silence for this man anymore

This bitch wrecked me

I was with this man for so fucking long, and I constantly battled with him with his infidelity. Talking to bitches all the damn time, buying only fans accounts, paying to sext, given the amount of yeast infections I got I wouldn’t be fucking surprised if he was fucking them too. He was constantly on that white bitch maddies ass, even after her stupid ass tried to come to me “as a woman”. he told me he was living with his grandmother all the while living with some prostitute. And on top of all that only does malik salam (yes bitch I know you peep so I’ll air out your whole name) do all this crazy shit, he does it knowing god damn well he has herpes and doesn’t disclose it.

He want to fuck master rochi, did that bitch know he had a dirty dick? Cause according to him, he’s had herpes since we’ve met. He had my ass at the hospital when he got an breakout, by the graces of fucking GOD his dirty ass didn’t infect me.

And there was my stupid ass for the next couple years, regardless of his dirty dick having ass, I didn’t care I still wanted him. fucking fell for every time he told me he’d stop talking.

Fuck you malik, you never deserve any of me. I hope your dirty dick having ass is at the very least using a condom. But given the fact that he’s a manipulative lying piece of shit, he’s probably out here spreading herpes, one paid pussy at a time.

Ugggg I’m irrationally irritated at him at the moment, like all these bottled up thought that I don’t want just in my head, I need them out. Maybe I’ll make videos on all the stupid shit, cause this low key therapeutic and im feeling better

[generic-whumperz]

Wooo thanks for the tag 🫶

I don’t have much posted yet (just a zillion WIPs currently), but I’ll be sharing some out of context future Vinny/ Vinny inspired quotes.

Keep in mind this dude is in his mid-40s, an unhinged substance abuser, a thug hit man with copious amounts of PTSD from being a war medic and surviving the apocalypse, and that he is a whumper. Vincent Warren Sullivan couldn’t give a fuck if he tried and he’s an asshole.

He’s the Crass Sullivan™️ for a reason, proceed with caution. No tags, but like, there probably should be. If your sensitive to dastardly behavior, avert your eyes.

Due to the nature of the diabolical quotes shown below, I will simply leave an open tag so I don’t have to @ anyone.

Suck my entire dick from the back, bitch. (Tagline)

Awe what’s the matter, kiddo? Suffering from a case of perceptile dysfunction? I got a pill that’ll perk ya right up! (Says this to The Aid when his abilities aren’t working right)

You reek like a fucken yeast infection. Looking at ya even makes me itch.

Get the fuck off my jock pally, unless you’re dying to be the next Rorschach test under my Italian loafers.

Keep those lips yappin’, and I’ll evict every one of those busted ass piano keys you call teeth till the Tooth Fairy starts charging you rent.

I’m fucking jonesin’ Papi, hit me with a double.

I’d say you’re full of shit, but even fucken fertilizer serves a purpose.

I’d split you open faster than a busted condom at a titty-bar trucker orgy on route 95.

You’ve got all the bite of a limp dick in a cold shower.

That dusty fart sonovabitch has all the charm of a backed-up septic tank. Smells like a load of crap too.

You’re not even worth the bullet it’d take to shut you up, so I’ll just drown you instead. I told you I’d get you soaking wet anywho.

Come on, Cowboy, the less left to chance the better. We ain’t gotta waste our time pissing on bushes and leaving our dicks to the wind. We’re men, not dogs. (Says this to Waylon)

Fuck me sideways, YES you NEED lube! Ya can’t keep tearing his candy ass up like that unless you want him permanently stuck in adult diapers! And do you got and idea of how hard it is to find Desitin in the fucken apocalypse? (Says this to Wyatt about The Aid)

Oh I have an idea, how about you gargle my balls?

Hungry? Here’s some crackers, feel free to help yourself to the cheese from under my nuts.

OC in 15

Thanks for the tag @bamber344

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

With that in mind, I think I’m gonna do Julio. Yeah, I like the guy, and he’s one of the characters that has the most dialogue/the most fun dialogue. Let’s see if we can get it to 15 🤔 And, like a crazy person, let's see if I can get the quotes in chronological order!

"It was supposed to be my mom, going to college and being the first one in our family to go, but then she had me, and, well –here I am..." -from What Kind of Leader Do You Want to Be, Part 1

"If anyone comes looking for (the kids he rescued), let them try to take them from us!" -from What Kind of Leader Do You Want to Be, Part 2

"Alright, he speaks!...You wanna go, pendejo, let’s go!" -from The Flicker of A Spark

"But you wandered into our territory, and you pissed off my cousin. You gotta answer to that, you know..." -from The Flicker of a Spark

"His name is Khaled, and no, I am not thinking about him, really!” -from Aftermath of a Flicker of a Spark

"(The hitman side hustle) is on a need to know basis, vato. Do you need to know?" -from A Regular Thing?

"Aaaand you’re dead. Great job." -from A Regular Thing?

"‘Nearly’ getting me is not getting me. ‘Nearly’ gets you dead!” -from A Regular Thing?

“Say it like you believe it, and maybe I’ll believe it too." -from Julio's Reverie

“Do you want to tell me what happened, or do you just want to cuddle for a bit?” -from Let Me See (Please)

"Hmm, bad choice, vato, Nobody holds a gun to my head!" -from Unlikely Partnership

"The real question is, what are you willing to do –no, what are you willing to give to see Khaled happy and free, as he should be?” -from Unlikely Partnership

“Where you going off to, man? You just got here!...Why don’t you step out of the vehicle and come on in here?” -from Wrong Turn

"See you in hell." -from Falling Like Snow

"I looked up to someone who later came to disappoint me, too...He didn’t get you out of your depression. You put in the work, you studied those long hours, you saw your future and you ran at it with everything you had to get it. You did all that, not him. He was just the spark, if you will, but the rest? That. Was. All. You.” -from Purpose Lost, Then Regained

And yep, that’s our Julio!

Tagging @generic-whumperz @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @melpomenelamusa @whumpsoda and whoever else wants a go!

[messengerhermes]

Normal vs. Problem Period Things

Hey so, I know periods are not explained well and any potential medical issues around menstruation are often minimized, so as someone who didn't get a diagnosis about my Mystery Murder Periods every month until I was in my late 20s (and then that diagnosis came about not because of my pain, but because my doctor thought I was *hairier* than I should be) I wanted to make this short, not comprehensive list.

"Normal" menstrual things (ie things that aren't a sign of medical trouble):

Cramps that are uncomfortable but not overwhelming (you may move slower than usual, feel cranky, but you can stand, sit, and move around without fear of fainting, vomiting, or being overwhelmed by the pain)

Small blood "clots" in your menstrual fluid (as in, an inch or less)

Blood that is brownish, purplish, red, or rusty colored

A small amount of fatigue, emotional rawness, etc (as in, you have a harder time waking up, need to go a bit slower, but you can still think pretty clearly, complete your usual to dos for the most part, and only get a little teary thinking about kittens or whatever your equivalent of kittens is)

Need for more fluids and iron (leafy greens, red meat, legumes, etc)

Not Normal Menstrual Things:

Pain that begins days before your actual bleeding starts, either in the form of consistent cramps or sudden shooting pain that happens in short bursts

Cramps that make it difficult to stand, move, or sit. Pain that reaches a level where you have to stay completely still until the episode passes.

Pain that extends past your pelvic region to shoot down your legs or up into your rib cage.

Faintness that makes you afraid of falling or injuring yourself when standing/getting up

Mood swings that begin days before your bleeding starts and include a sudden, intense magnification of depression that can look like deep sadness, fearfulness, anxiety, anger, and struggling to regulate your feelings (basically, if all your problems go from emotionally doable to "holy shit, I can't handle any of this why is the world so big" and that happens every month...that's not a typical period experience)

Feeling significantly weaker, shakier and unable to focus on tasks (forgetting what you were doing, struggling to follow along with reading, not being able to complete a recipe you make all the time without double checking something)

Intense hot flashes, or bouts of feeling too cold, especially if that doesn't match up with the temperature aroung you (ie, you're outside in summer and can't get warm, or you need to strip off in winter because you're sweating like a horse)

Massive bloodclots that are golf ball sized, especially if you get more than one and they are accompanied by pain that makes you want to stop what you are doing and curl in a ball

Odor like rotting meat or fish, a smell that is rank

Fever

Periods that do not come somewhat regularly if you've already been having them for several years and are an adult (ie once a month around the same time each month)

If you have one or more of the not normal period experiences, bring them up with a doctor. And keep bringing them up with doctors until you find one that listens. Some conditions like PCOS can only have their symptoms managed by various treatments, but others like Endometriosis can have their symptoms stopped or reduced significantly with various treatments. These various not normal things can also be indicators of toxic shock syndrome, bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, an untreated STI like chlamydia or syphilis, or signs of certain cancers. I'm not saying that to scare the hell out of you, but to highlight that all of those things are treatable in one way or another, and are best treated quickly before they can worsen. You deserve help. You should not suffer every month just because bio-essentialism and misogyny have deemed periods unworthy of sincere medical attention.

[prolix-yuy]

Chapter 1: Pre-Session

Pairing: Francisco “Catfish" Morales x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: M, Sex Worker!Frankie, implied other Triple Frontier Boys!Sex Workers, watch me make up shit about sex work, descriptions of male and female bodies. While this chapter is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ MINORS DNI.

Cross-posted on AO3

Something New Masterlist || Sex Worker!Frankie AU Series Masterlist

You didn’t normally do things like this.

You used to look at yourself as confident, intelligent, a good partner, capable, engaging, fun…you had lots of adjectives to describe yourself that made you feel complete and happy.

After the divorce, those adjectives got replaced by cutting words and painful remarks that tattooed themselves inside your mouth. You desperately wanted to rid yourself of the taste of them but were too raw to cleanse it with someone new who could hurt you much the same.

Which is what led you to sitting on a bed in a hotel room, phone to your ear as you listen to sultry hold music. You’re wearing something that makes you feel good but not overtly sexy, comfortable but attractive. Pants and a top, and not your best lingerie. It lets you lower the stakes, allows you to be disappointed if this doesn’t go the way you imagine.

A click, and a male voice answers. You weren’t expecting a male receptionist when you dialed the number on a glossy flyer from a strip club bathroom. A tone-deaf decision from a well-meaning friend, but that disaster did lead you here.

“Pope’s.” he says simply, a pleasant voice in your ear.

“Hi!” you answer, your voice too loud and high-pitched. Clearing your throat, you force yourself to breathe. “Um, hello, hi, I was calling for…” Your voice catches on the words, tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth. A quiet “uhhhh” is all you can manage, but the voice on the other end chuckles knowingly.

“Don’t worry about it, happens all the time. Are you somewhere private?”

You look around the hotel room. Nothing skeezy, no Motel 6, but not the Ritz.

“Yes,” you manage this time, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Okay, let’s walk you through this nice and easy. I’m guessing this is your first time?”

You twist the fabric of the comforter in your hands, your palms sticky with sweat. “Yeah, can you tell?”

The voice on the other end laughs.

“It’s always strange the first time. Or the only time, no judgment here.” The voice is putting you more at ease as he speaks, your muscles starting to unclench.

“I’m Pope, and I’m here to help you through what you want and what we can offer. Are you ordering for today?”

“Yeah, if that’s…okay…do people normally make…reservations?” Pope laughs again on the other end.

“You’re a fun one. Sometimes, but let’s not get into that right now. I’ve got a checklist to go through then we can get into the details.”

Pope is efficient and makes no comments as he runs you through his questionnaire. Your current sexual history, preferences, payment information. It feels more like you’re scheduling a repair appointment than an escort, which you mention as you try to ease some tension.

“Well sweetheart, sometimes you just need to be taken care of and have him leave after the service window.” You get a case of the giggles and cover the phone’s receiver, Pope’s own chuckles warming your ear. The nerves are still there but Pope is a reassuring guide.

“So that’s the boring stuff done. Now to the fun part. What are you looking for?”

You had been dreading this moment. It seemed silly to be shy at this point in time (he’d asked if you had a yeast infection within 6 months, you were past personal), but you knew voicing this desire was going to be the hardest part.

“Um, so, tell me if this is silly…or impossible, but…” You take a big breath and try to coach your thoughts into a cohesive stream. “I’m looking for someone…gentle. Someone who can take care of me for the hour. It doesn’t…I don’t need it to be sex, I just want some…” Your throat closes up and you feel tears prickle at the corners of your eyes. Just asking for this is making you feel pitiful and stupid. What the hell are you even doing?

“Okay, let’s take a breath here honey,” Pope says, and you realize you’ve made at least one small sad noise into the phone. “Everyone needs something different from this, and it’s my job to help you figure it out.” You hear some keys being clicked on the other end, a pause and a thoughtful “hmm,” then Pope’s soothing voice returns.

“I’ve got a guy who I think will be a good fit for you. He’s a big boy, is that okay?” Your pause makes Pope clarify. “I mean, he’s a big guy but also big below the belt. He’s a gentle giant though, very sweet, and if you don’t want it to be about sex he’s the perfect fit. Would you like to try him out?”

You weren’t sure you would get this far when you booked a room for the night. You had a plan, but you were okay with abandoning it to watch hotel TV and eat snacks in bed. But the more you considered it, the more you wanted to try and break the cycle you were in.

“Yeah, I think I would.”

“Perfect, I’ll give you his info.”

A few hours later, there’s a quiet knock at your hotel door. You shoot up from where you were sitting on the small settee, too nervous to lounge on the bed even though you kept telling yourself you weren’t going to be fucking on it. Just some mutual comfort with a man you’d never set eyes on.

Speaking of, you go to the door and open it to find him filling the doorway. He gives you a lopsided smile with a nod and a “Hello,” his voice low and soothing.

Pope was right; this was indeed a big boy. His shoulders are broad beneath a soft-looking red flannel, a white shirt underneath that stretches across his chest. One hand is in his jeans pocket, the other hooked into his belt loop. A waterfall of brown curls spill out from under a beat-up baseball cap, some hanging in his warm coffee eyes. He looks to be in his late thirties, some crows feet and fine wrinkles tracing the curves of his cheeks.

Your heart leaps, and you’re not sure if it’s because this moment is finally happening or that he’s the perfect kind of soft handsome man you’ve swooned for in TV shows and movies. You were nervous he would be a beefcake, all polish and bravado, but he’s calm and self-assured instead.

“Can I come in? Or is this a little too much? I can take a lap if you want.” He points over his shoulder and his smile becomes a tease. Oh no, he’s playful too. If you could tip Pope you would, he pinned you down perfectly.

“No, yeah, come in,” you stutter and move out of the doorway. He steps in and brushes past you, one large warm hand squeezing your shoulder. You close the door and take a steadying breath before following him.

He takes up space in the way that a mountain range takes up a landscape, and he’s no less breathtaking. Standing in the narrow entryway, he watches you walk towards him without an ounce of tension. He has some scruff on his chin and a well-trimmed mustache that quirks when he smiles. You normally don’t like men with facial hair, but he wears it well, albeit a little patchy. His aquiline nose curves over his lip and draws your eyes to his plush, pouty mouth over and over. He’s beautiful in a real way that’s so different from models and movie stars, genuine and right here in front of you.

“Can I get you anything…” you pause, realizing Pope gave you a name but suddenly feeling weird saying it out loud, “Catfish?”

The man laughs and lifts his cap to comb his hair back from his face. He sets it back on his head with a smirk.

“Pope tell you that? God, you must have imagined someone very different.” His smile is warm, and his teeth peek out with little flashes of white. “Frankie, that’s what you can call me.”

“Thank goodness, I could barely keep a straight face,” you say, standing in front of him and letting out a nervous laugh. You have to look up to catch his eyes, his shoulders easily spanning your own and then some. His waist is narrow but soft in the middle, which puts you at ease. It made your own shape feel acceptable, even desirable.

“Pope told me about what you were looking for, but he didn’t give me specific details. Told me we could discuss when I got here in case that made you more comfortable.” He backs up and sits on the edge of the bed, looking at you with lifted brows. It’s an endearing look, and melts away some more of your nervousness. You follow and sit, giving Frankie some space while you look at your hands in your lap.

“Yeah, it must be a weird request. Being a girl asking for a…well, you,” you swallow, feeling supremely out of your element, “and then not needing it to be…you know…” you fumble over the words. Frankie watches you, his thumb rubbing against the denim of his jeans.

“Not weird,” he says, and the warmth in his voice warms the back of your neck. “He mentioned that you didn’t want sex. So let’s get it out in the open now: unless you change your mind and ask for it, I won’t do anything. This is your time, and we’ll spend it however you want.” The sincerity in his face makes you want to throw yourself in his arms. Maybe this was a good idea after all.

“Now, I have a plan but we can change it at any time. If you’re not liking what’s happening you can say the stupid nickname and I’ll check in. Or I can give you the run-down now so you know exactly what to expect.” He looks at you for direction and it takes you a second to realize you need to answer him.

“Yeah, that sounds great. I…I think I want to be surprised. You seem like you know what you’re doing.” Frankie graces you with another dazzling smile and you feel your heart stutter.

“Okay, then I will need you to do one thing.” He gets up and heads for the door, pausing long enough to grab one of the room keys lying on a table. “I need you to give me ten minutes alone in your room. Just to get everything ready.” He looks at you with the silent question of ‘is that okay?’ and you nod. Picking up your phone, Frankie holds out your coat and purse. When you furrow your brow at this - you weren’t planning on leaving the hotel - he says, “Pretend you’re coming here after a long day at work. It’ll get you in the right headspace.”

You flash him a nervous smile and step into the hallway. He leans on the door frame, tall and solid and sexy. You’re turned on and you didn’t expect to be, a nice thrum in your core. It’s welcome, exciting.

“Ten minutes, then feel free to come whenever you want.” Frankie’s smile is a little cheeky as your face burns at his innuendo. You start down the hallway and hear the door shut softly behind you.

Back in silence, you put your hands to your mouth and a giggle spills out. Giddy with anticipation, you smile to yourself as you count down the minutes until your session really starts.

NEXT

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Time for Big Mouth season 6 summary!

I do this every year and that’s basically the only Big Mouth post I make for the year. So let’s go!

THE SONGS IN THE SEASON WAS… BANGERS!!! And now the new song album is out!!! With all the songs from season 4-6

The fucking ”Girl we got with your mom” song will forever be stuck in my head though now

Andrew’s parents :( I feel bad for him.

Him and Bernie were so cute :,) And i’m lowkey glad we saw her clips cause… some of the stuff reminded me of stuff I’ve done… what can I say the show really reminds you of the weird shit you did when you were in middle school

Anyway I am tempted to do that list lmao

Aren’t they supposed to be 14 now? They’ve been 13 since S1-

WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHO IS THE PRINCIPAL

This season was a little like a ”middle season” where I feel like not as much happened. But I do know they’ve been picked up for S7 so this is probably intentional.

I miss Ali and Jessi’s scenes :( But I do know why they didn’t have much interaction except that ”does anyone have a tampon” scene. First is that this season focused much more on family - and also, since stuff that happens on human resources also affects Big Mouth, Jessi doesn’t have a love bug since she got fired. Maybe Human Resources will pick this up in their next season. We’ll see.

ASEXUAL CHARACTER! Also the fact that his hormone monsters are so ok with it.

CONNIE AND MAURY’S BABY I love how they just fit right in

Missy finally got her period! I was actually wondering if she had gotten it or not. Also ”it’s brown, are you sure I haven’t pooped myself?” wow that’s relateable

Very accurate representation of a yeast infection lmao… god why are female genitals like this we constantly have to look out for stuff like this all the time

Love how they’re always going crazy in the last episode of the seasons. FUCKED UP FRIDAY YEAH IT SURE WAS

Lola and Jessi’s friendship awwww

THAT ONE TIME ANDREW BUMPED INTO MISSY AND SHE WENT ”GET TF AWAY FROM ME” AND ASKED HIM TO STAY AT LEAST A 2 METER DISTANCE LMOOO

I really love how things are starting to get better for Lola :) She deserves it

And Jay :( He deserves better

I wonder if Delilah will get any monsters. Babies have some monsters too I vet (besides the need demon)

Ok so when I was 13, I had found a lot of ”transformed into a baby/forced to be a baby” stories on wattpad. I don’t know why, I found one and suddenly I had read like 20 of them. I was so weirded out by them but I also was intrigued to it. So anyway, with all the diaper jokes, people wetting and shitting themselves, Jessi switching bodies with Delilah and having to spend the time as a baby, I kinda cringed because. I had read a lot of stories and I sat there like just questioning why I ever did. This show is great to remind yourself about the weird stuff in your adolescense <3 And that’s both the charm and the con of it hahahaha

To be fair, I read far worse things on wattpad… those things were MILD to the weird shit I otherwise found on that site

Anyway! Liked the season! Didn’t feel like as much was happening, but I am still gonna rewatch it 😄 I always find new things upon rewatch