#I GET YEAST INFECTIONS JUST LOOKING AT THAT SHIT

[shandidellamorte]

😖

[drdemonprince]

Is "safe sex" even real? Never done it so idk but you mentioned risk profiles once. I feel like demographically I've got a higher risk profile and the anxiety about that really prevents me from going and trying anything. Do you think that's overly anxious in a negative way?

"safe sex" is a really misleading and binary term. There is never any guarantee of safety in anything we do. Every choice we make comes with risks. Hell, choosing not to connect with other people sexually (if you have any desire to) does ITSELF come with its own risks and costs over time.

The chase after perfect, guranteed safety will only lead to us feeling powerless and afraid, because it is an impossibility. All that we can do is inform ourselves of the risks, mitigate the risks we are the most concerned about and that affect others, and then knowingly accept what risks we still face as the cost of leading a full, enjoyable life.

When we inform ourselves about risk mitigation, we learn there are certain steps that we should probably take to protect ourselves and others if we are engaging in behavior that carries risk. If you're having sex with a complete stranger, it's probably smart to use a condom. If you have sex regularly you might want an HPV vaccine or to be on PreP to prevent HIV transmission. When you meet up with people you should get tested for COVID. You should get vaccinated against COVID. If you want to get suspended in rope from the ceiling don't use a hardware store $3 carabeener, get the good shit from the rock-climbing supply store. Things like that.

But even if you use a condom, you might get herpes or HPV or crabs or a yeast infection. Even if you never have sex, you might already have herpes or HPV or crabs or a yeast infection. I've had several of those things, including some of the "scarier" sounding ones, and they're really not that big a deal. They're just a thing that happens in life. Most people have them. You pop a Valtrex when you have symptoms, you shove a suppostiory up your vulva when it itches, you sleep without underwear on, you communicate with partners, you move on with your life.

Sure, I do what I can to avoid the risks I am most concerned about. I take PreP right now because not getting HIV would be preferable to me. But I could still live if I got it. I am informed about the realities of living with HIV today, which makes that fear more manageable. It is easier for me to make carefully considered and yet realistic decisions surrounding my risk profile because I can confront the realities that scare me and learn more about them.

The body is not separable form its environment. We are connected to our surroundings and the people around us, and our bodies get sick, catch viruses, grow old, get messy, and die inevitably and return to the earth. With our one life, we each have to choose what is most important to us and what potential costs we can stand. But with each year that passes, a cost to our bodies is already incurred, and there's nothing we can do to prevent aging and death from coming our way.

So what would you like to do while you are around? Would you like to have sex with condoms? Go on PreP? Get the HPV vaccine? Take random loads in a glory hole? Make out and dry hump with a cutie at a party and catch her cold sore? Cross the street in the dark after looking both ways? Go out dancing so late that your sleep is disrupted for the whole week? Get your heart broken? Have a great all-consuming love? Have children? Endure a torn labia while giving birth? Try psychedelics? Go on a swinger's cruise? Get a UTI from spermicide? Roleplay online instead of meeting in person? Fuck people with a strap-on?

The choice is yours. And no choice you make will be perfect or come without risk. No life is safe. Accepting loss is one of the necessary tasks of leading a life. But you can educate yourself, reflect on what you most want out of life and what you fear, and then take steps to demystefy your worst fears and mitigate the risks that loom largest to you and the people you care about.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have some fun.

[tea-and-secrets]

i have herpes which i got in college and which is now a known quantity to me, but i also have something else unusual that goes on with my pussy that i have mistaken to be either herpes or a yeast infection every so often. it comes and goes so quickly that i can rarely get to a doctor in time to have it actually looked at, but last time i went to the urgent care thinking i had a yeast infection and was able to point out the specific signs of the thing that occasionally goes on with my pussy that is SUPER uncomfortable and weird. and literally....im on the fucking chair with my feet in the fucking stirrups with the fucking doctor all up in my shit with a speculum and everything and im like "yeah look over to the left right where your finger is" and this doctor. this very kind doctor. she looks at my pussy and then looks at me and goes "oh, yeah! i have never seen anything like that before." and i was like "haHA. Cool!" and then i got negative results on all tests and no further information whatsoever and i just. want to know what mysterious pussy affliction i have. it looks like either a yeast infection or a herpes flareup but is not treated by any options that treat those things. and it only happens like. EVERY so often. and is fleeting but horrible and apparently, never before seen by an otherwise educated and competent doctor ive seen several times. mystery pussy affliction

.

[soraviie]

chasing after you.txt

━ type: bts x f! reader ━ navigation

━ about: dynamics in order: Joon - one-night stand + enemies to lovers, Yoongi - neighbours with a bit of a bad boy influence, Jin - sort of arranged marriage au, Hoseok - exes to lovers, Jimin - sugar daddy/fake dating au, Taehyung - tease x anger issues/clingy + tsundere/f2l, Jungkook - bodyguard x ward

━ pictures taken from Pinterest

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON: "Aw, fuck, who invited that guy?" you growled, whilst rolling your eyes at the corner where Namjoon had been so precariously sat like an asshole. You hated everything about him - the smug smile, the cocky tone of his voice, the winks he threw your way. Kim Namjoon was nothing but a sure way to get your blood pressure up and stay that way all through the night.

"Probably one of his fri- Shit! He's coming this way!" as your friend dipped over the bar and away into the crowd, courageous as ever, you snatched your drink partially pondering about throwing it into his face.

"You look lonely," he cooed with that shit-eating grin that you had wanted to smack away since the first meeting. And maybe to kiss but he didn't need to know that. "Why don't I keep you company?"

"Keep company with your left hand like you usually do," you yelled over the music.

"Well it does pair well with certain memories of you," he smirked and you groaned in disgust.

A misguided February 14th evening could lead to many foul things - unexpected pregnancy, STDs, Kim Namjoon having the delusional idea that you liked him.

Frankly, you'd rather endure a yeast infection than have this 6 feet fuckboy in the disguise of a pacifistic art lover keep chasing you every night out. More than once you wanted to slap your younger self only to come to their defence over and over again.

Namjoon was big. Big man. Big muscles. Big...well you get it.

And that may have made you a little bit stupid once! But not twice.

Yes.

"I can't stand you," you sneered at him with the most contempt you could possibly muster

"Sit on my lap then, baby."

You took a long swig to finish your drink, sliding it across the bartop and walking backwards, you levelled him down with a:

"You'd only cream your jeans, caveman."

"That's possible," he reckoned with a soft smile watching you mingle with the dancing crowd.

And for a while, it all went well, you'd find someone to at least waste some time with only for them to suddenly start sprinting away for their lives. You frowned after them, coming to a screeching halt in the fun.

Did your breath smell or something?

Taken with dancing, you hadn't noticed the broad-chested giant charging forth, smoke practically fuming from his nostril as his eyes glinted devilishly when tracking down the opponent. As the music changed, you found your waist circled by a shovel-sized palm.

"You really have no luck out here. You keep on being stuck with lil' old me," he whispered in your ear, causing long trails of goosebumps where his breath landed and you elbowed him, hard, in the gut.

He didn't even seem to mind.

"I don't know who you think you are Kim Namjoon but I will never-!"

"Oh, how you hate me," he lets out a burst of raspy laughter, head thrown back on the pillow, pulling you closer as much as he can despite you both being considerably sweaty.

"S-shut up," you grunt back, thighs aching but just a little bit more and you'll be in your happy place even if it was with this obnoxious gym rat. "You're just a cock on legs to me."

"Oh, for sure," he smirks and then prompts himself upwards to bite on your neck. "But you might think of screaming a tad quieter if you want to be really convincing."

It's a sick sense of deja-vu to wake up sore and aching all over in a sun-filled room overstuffed with cacti and a very soft blanket. The bed was empty and as you clamber to the toilet wearing a shirt found on the floor, struggling to walk, you stumble upon him in the kitchen - Cheshire grin spread all over his lips.

"Good morning," Namjoon greets. "You want some eggs, babe?"

YOONGI: His eyes track your movement as though it's dazed him and it's in moments like these you wish he was a criminal or something, a certified member of a mafia. A flag touch redder.

Stay away from Min Yoongi, they said, he's trouble but what to do when he doesn't stay away from you?

"So a kitten does come out to play," he purrs pressing one of those veiny palms against the elevator doors, halting it in its tracks and climbing in. You roll your eyes and straighten your back to appear more threatening. Yoongi, of course, couldn't give less of a shit.

"You're one to speak," you counter. "The most walking you do is through your apartment. It's like a herd of elephants."

"Well then don't listen in on what I do, you little pervert," he smirks, pressing the 8 on the elevator and it jerkily moves through the floors, reminding you once again to be grateful for life.

"Give it here," without waiting for a reply, he grabs the hold of your bags and goes straight to your apartment doors. Once inside he makes himself right at home, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

"What are we eating?" he questions gruffly, examining the produce with no small amount of judgment.

"You're speaking French now?" you push him away, relinquishing the rightful ownership of a pair of avocados you bought. "Whose "we"?"

He doesn't bother gracing it with a comment as anyhow a doorbell rings and you see his tongue poke against the cheek.

"Who the hell are you?" he questions sharply and you peer into the doorway.

"Oh, hello," you greet your coworker with a reserved smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" Yoongi echoes, placing his hand above your head and on the very edge of the door.

"Just interested if you're going to the uh... team bonding activities," he replies, fretfully glancing at Yoongi.

"Ignore him, I do," you smirk up at Yoongi. "And-"

"She has plans," Yoongi interrupts, pushing you back into the kitchen with his palm against your back.

"Oh, okay," your coworker stutters awkwardly, trying to lean in somehow. "See you around?"

"No," Yoongi cheerfully replies and smacks the door right into his face.

"You're such a dick," you groan.

"Did you have plans?" he asks with a teasing lilt, voice dropping nearly an octave lower. "And are you going to lie that it wasn't with me?"

"My jumbo-sized Charmander plushie and I are doing well on our own," you point at him with a packet of tomatoes. "Where you fit into the equation is a mystery."

"I'll tell you where I can fit," he laughed, wagging his eyebrows.

"No, no, goodbye," you wrinkle your nose in disgust, pushing his still laughing back out of the door. "Leave."

"Wait, what if I need some sugar?" he objects and you furrow your eyebrows, glaring up at him in suspicion.

"Do you?"

"No," he shrugs carelessly. "But what if."

"Begone, demon," you push against him harder but he seems to only enjoy it.

"Come to my game. It's right across the street in that park. I need a good luck charm."

"Will you be throwing a ball in your face? If no, then I'm not interested."

As you slam the door shut there still comes a raspy whine.

"Come on, short ass, come."

And if you do happen to drop by the nearest park with its shitty basketball court it's because you have nothing better to do and you needed some ice cream. Yoongi, uncharacteristically brazen for him, smirks at then winks in the middle of the game.

And promptly receives a ball to the face.

JIN: "Eat more garlic!"

"Straighten your hair with an iron!"

"Belch really, really loudly!"

You try to recall all of your friends' sage advice whilst pacifying your nerves. Being late nearly an hour didn't sit well with you but this guy was...determined. Insanely determined. So the ends justify the means.

When at last you arrive at the three Michelin star restaurant it's an hour later than what your family had set and you're wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Your face may burn with shame at such a display but certainly, this would beat this broad-shouldered man off the path. This was beyond and above rude. You're already prepared to be yelled at, scorned and insulted but Seokjin merely blooms into an eager smile. Doesn't even blink twice at your choice of wear.

He dismisses the host with a polite nod and pulls a chair out.

"Hello, _________," he greets innocently. "Traffic is hell, right."

There was no traffic and he knew it only making excuses to achieve whatever nefarious goal he had set out to.

"Just give him a chance," your mother pleaded over the phone. "He's been asking about you forever. Please, he's rich and handsome, what's not to like."

What's not to like? Well, probably something. Kim Seokjin in your mind had always stood as that annoying guy who'd dropped a water bomb on your head when you were about to take the most glorious profile picture ever. Spinning in overlapping social circles, you'd seen too much of him growing up and had to endure several of your friends flailing over him especially when the pool season began. He was like a jar of honey to their fly status. And as such only a tar in your own pot of sweetness.

He was old. You had not exactly a criminal age difference but still more than 2 years. He was a creep, you firmly plant that idea into the recesses of your mind.

Why oh why, was he so insistent on asking about you?

"Good idea," he praises, pointing at your outfit. "It's best to be comfortable. I should have done that as well, this is quite uncomfortable," he waves a disappointed hand over the blue three-piece suit.

The waiter along with the menu serves you a freshly plucked side eye.

"Yeah, that's why I did it," dryly you mutter back, hiding behind the menu.

Think, think, think, what else turns off snooty men?

"Fucking shit," you cry out to your own amazement. "These prices are ridiculous. I'm not paying for this!"

"That's fine," Jin shrugs with that seemingly permanently etched expression of a tender smile. "I invited you here, I'll pay."

You groan.

"I'll fart," you threaten.

He shrugs and gracefully pours you a glass of wine.

"Everyone does that. It's a part of life."

You slobber your dinner up like a beast.

"Hmm, you're making the meal look more delicious," he nods.

And not even when you "accidentally" spill a mango sauce on his pants worth more than your apartment, does he weigh the thought of becoming angry in his mind.

"Ah, it's a perfect colour now," he merely congratulates with a jubilant cry and you let your head fall on the table with a thud, only it hits his palm as he had stretched it out at the last second.

"Are you insane?" you breathe out in sheer desperation. "Why are you not running over the hills?"

"Do you really think I can't see that you're doing this on purpose?" he smirks in amusement, over the rim of the wine glass. "We've known each other for a while, I know you better than that."

"Exactly!" you yell before falling into a hush as numerous daggers shoot your way. "You know me! As the annoying friend of your cousin! Why are you asking after me all of a sudden?! What joke are you playing?"

"Well, first of all," Jin corrects all too self-congratulatory. "I've never thought you were annoying. Maybe except when you were like 14 but who isn't the worst person in the world at that age? And secondly," his ears abruptly turn quite pink and he lets the wine glass rest on the table, nervously fiddling with its stem. "I asked for you because as you may know your mother is quite eagerly seeking various wedlock opportunities. For you specifically."

That makes you groan only louder.

"Don't remind me. So, so what? You want to get married to me?" you snort at the idea but then, for the first time ever, Jin is not laughing.

"Yes," he says dead serious.

"Wait, is this a prank?" you glance all around in an attempt to find the hidden cameras. "Are you pulling my leg?"

"I'm pulling no legs. What a weird thing to do," Jin muses and you narrow him down.

"Don't joke. It's not funny. Say "got you" or something. You can't be serious?!"

"Listen, ___________, I've liked you for a while now. I wanted to ask you before you began university but then you brought Jae home and..."

"Jae? Jin, that was...that was five years ago! You couldn't have liked me for five years?"

He averts his eyes and sips on his champagne. Even his neck is red.

"Five years?" you cry out. "And you kept quiet?!"

"Well, I told you now!" he objects with some indignation but even more of a burning shame. "All you need to do is to decide what you're going to do. 'Cause I'll accept you as you are, belching, sweatpant wearing and all. Even if you straighten your hair with an iron."

For a second you sit still and stupefied on this ridiculously over-padded chair ad then you feel yourself match the heat blooming on his face.

"You know Giulia?" you ask, downing the entire wine while desperately trying not to smile at the soft amusement in his eyes.

"Of course, I know Giulia," Jin chuckles self-consciously. "Who do you think gave me the genius advice of this stuffy suit?"

HOSEOK: You should have known from the start that this would lead to nothing good. What else could wait for you at the end of the nondescript hallways of conference rooms? One thing you didn't expect however was the loathsome face of your ex-boyfriend. Hoseok was sitting already by the table, beautiful as ever, leg nervously bouncing against the floor and treacherously a click of a lock snapping in its place echoes behind you.

He springs up from the seat, nervously glancing at where you tried to somehow break through the door. Or the wall, whichever came first.

"Oh, hell no," you growled, nails scraping against the doorknob. The betraying Brutus of a friend he had bribed to text you to come here will find an egg on their window for sure.

"_____________, please, let's just talk," he pleads. "Just let...let me explain."

"I don't want to hear any explanation," you hissed, turning to glare at him. From the way his eyebrows sloped, you could tell he was deadset serious but then it comes too clearly back into your mind.

That you were weird, not his type, that he doesn't understand you. But instead of simply crying about it you left. To cry about it in your own space. And also then turn incredibly bitter over it.

"I just meant that..."

"That I'm a freak? Yeah, I got it," you snarled before yanking harder on the knob. "Open the damn door!"

"No. If you're going to leave then please do the courtesy of letting me memorize your face."

You close your eyes, steeling your resolve. Don't give in, you reminded yourself, not after a whole year of hunkering through yet another heartbreak. Hoseok was just like the rest. Taking weirdness in all the things you liked, that you were. Why should you ever change for anyone else?

"It's been a year," you note sternly, having slid on the floor. He's also there, watching away from the small distance with a crease of a frown between his brows.

"Exactly. This year was one of the worst I've ever had," he confesses, supposedly earnestly. "I admit the things that I said were wrong but I did not mean it like that!"

"________________ is just a bit weird. You know the people I used to date, there's a bit of a difference, softly said," you quote him word for word. "And you said that to someone else! You opened your mouth, said that shit and thought it was okay!"

The sun behind the window had nearly slipped over the horizon and the office space was illuminated with a soft orange glow.

"You know the first time I met you, that was a lie," he mutters into the air. No one had come to open the door despite you nearly beating it off the hinges.

"Oh, that too was a lie, wonderful," you groaned, rolling your eyes but Hoseok remains sitting sadly by, occasionally passively twirling his shoe laces.

"I actually went past you on the street. Remember the crossroad by that small confectionery?"

You did remember. You lived right above it for a while, making your hair smell perpetually of candy for half a year.

"I...I got lost around there and walked past you, and you were sort of listening to your headphones, not looking around. I remember," he chuckled as though taken by an old memory. "You wore that knitted jumper that kept falling off your shoulder, the faded beige one and I just...I was so jealous of you, you were so carefree."

You glanced at him surprised. As far as you knew the first time Hoseok and you met was at a graduation gathering, a friend of a friend sort of a situation. And as you sat there, enjoying your barbecue by the side, wondering whether to dip your ketchup-stained hand in some weed brownies, he came up to you with the brightest smile, talking as though he knew you. Guess he did then know you.

"And the next day I went there again. I didn't even know why but I just did and you were there again. And I kept returning," he smiled at the ground but it quickly vanished. "Every day for a month before I met you at that gathering. Sometimes you were there, a lot of times - not but when you did it lit up my entire day. I didn't know how to approach you though, it's not a thing you do in the middle of the street, you know?"

"No," you affirm faintly.

"And when you left..." Hoseok winced at the mere mention of it. "I still kept going back," his breath was nothing more than a whisper stained with regret. The look in his eyes was downright depressing and you wondered if he had roamed around bearing the same heavy chip that you had. "And our favourite cafe. And your favourite park spot. I was there like...like a ghost lingering in your presence."

"But why did you say then that I was weird?" you sniffled, letting, for the joke of your own mental stability, some of that defence down. Attempting to look at Hoseok without the veil of contempt you've draped over him for a year. Dragging yourself back from hell was hard, dragging yourself from hell when thrust there by the one person you thought wouldn't do that - even harder. But by peeling off at least one cover, you saw many wonderful memories behind it, as slightly tainted as they were.

"I don't know," he groaned, hiding his face in the palm of his hands. "I was stupid. I meant in my heart that you were unlike anyone I've been with before. Not bad but different. And, yes, sometimes I don't understand you but I want to," he rouses to look into your eyes across the room. "I want to. And even if I never fully understand, I would like to make you feel heard and stand by your side nonetheless."

You stare into the sun to avoid crying. Stupid thought as no one ever stared into this glowing orb of light hanging in the sky in order to not get misty-eyed.

"What I said there was, I admit, crass. I was scared because I...with you I don't want to leave. I don't want to call quits when it becomes uncomfortable or becomes uneasy, I want us to grow together. And that scares me because, for the first time, I can really truly get hurt," he exhaled a heavy sigh, voice growing strained. "So when you left, no explanation, just gone in the wind..." he glimpsed over the horizon. "Anyway, I recognise me cornering you like this is wrong but...if you ran away because you felt unloved, I just wanted to show that I'd be chasing after."

Hoseok wiped at his eyes and briskly got up.

"But if you didn't and don't want me, I'll open the doors," from the pocket of his jeans, he fished out a glinting silver key. "I really just wanted to memorize you for as long as I could. I'm sorry."

He opens the doors and you called out -

"Hoseok!"

JIMIN: The phone kept ringing. You'd put it on mute but even so the bright light of the flashing screen stirred you awake and after a brief wrangle of putting the chip bowl actually on the table nearby, kicking your leg free from the grasp of the blanket, you simply watched it ring. After eventually growing into silence, it went to the 45 unanswered calls like the rest. You sighed turned to your side and slid the eye mask over the face, trying to somehow coerce yourself into immediate and indisputable slumber.

This was just the outward manifestation of his bruised ego, nothing more. You don't think anyone had ever rejected Park Jimin so this must be a new, unfamiliar feeling, one he'll get over in time and then maybe even laugh about it years down the line.

I mean, come on, you thought to yourself cutting the words like bloodied post-it notes in your own mind. There's no such thing as a rich handsome guy genuinely falling for someone so...

The disgusting words sprung too freely on the tip of your tongue so you settle for normal. To not at least give into self-hatred so easy. Such was the plot of romantic dramas and fantasies hence why it was fiction. Rich, beautiful people went for other rich beautiful people, normal folks went for normal folks. Dogs did not mix with chickens or pandas with capybaras. It was simply nonsense.

But as you close your eyes, the memories make it harder to be as clinically objective. All too well, you remember. His hands on your face, grasping as though he feared you would leave.

"Why don't you ever believe me?" he asked with heated desperation. "Nothing I say is ever good enough. Nothing is trustworthy!"

You tried to pry him gently away.

"Because how can I believe you? Look at yourself and look at me. This is not even opposites it's...unfathomables!"

You wished partially that he'd go to the good old Mr Park of the beginning, one who'd walked up to you in a cafe and asked if for a fair amount of money you'd be willing to answer his phone and pretend to be his girlfriend. And since the sum he called out was the rate of an onerous monthly rent, you'd plastered the sweetest voice you could in a matter of seconds with no questions asked.

When thinking of all the troubles when he approached you again, completely by accident, you had thought to yourself jail, assault, violence, even cannibalism for good measure, who knew what kind of sicko this stranger could be, but never you considered you'd be scared by the simple fact that he was in love with you. He had been cold, rude and brusque at the start and you had been fine with that, your "job" was to sometimes go to family dinners and lie which while not moral was not a crime.

Only then he invited to accompany him to his office, then to trips, then to movies and then one day you wake up in your bed and Mr Park, once a cold and resigned man, drenched in his own riches, is now making pancakes on your old stovetop and smiles the kindest smile you'd ever seen and asks if you slept well.

How could it not be a scary sight?

"I love you!" he shook you by the shoulders, not hard enough to hurt but as if trying to shake the bad thoughts out. "But you hate yourself! And you never listen!"

"They'll think I'm a gold-digger!" you cried. Just looking around his apartment made you sick. You couldn't even afford his carpet. How could he love someone with whom he shared so little with? He had never known the feeling of counting one's last money to afford bread or not buying something out of impulse. And you had never known the etiquette of polite brutality, of caring about who sits where because one word spoken at the wrong crowd table could destroy your entire livelihood. Love didn't change two profoundly different experiences.

"They don't think that!" he argued. "My parents wanted me to be with someone-"

"Poor?" you interrupted finally wrenching yourself free. Why was he so cruelly saying these things? He will just make you love him and then dump you with nary concern. Like others and then in time you will always think that you should have known better. Should have gotten rid of those rose-tinted glasses sooner not when they're smashed in shatters on the cold concrete.

"No!" Jimin immediately counters. "Of a different social circle! And even if they did, I don't care!"

"But the press-!"

"I don't care!"

"The rest of your relatives and friends-!"

"I don't care!" he yelled back, ripping at his hair, faint tears lingering in his eyes. "What will it take for you to believe me?! Please, why don't you believe me?"

"I can't!" you shrieked back in a sob. "Because better you not love me at all than fall out of it after some time! I don't want to be loved! I don't want to trust! I just want to be alone!"

Alone is what you were now but it felt no better.

"It will," you calmed yourself aloud. "Give it some time and your life will return to how it was."

Boring. Monotone. A single actor performing the most dreadful play to an audience of no spectators. You sniffled punching the pillow. Stupid Park Jimin waltzing into your life and making you think you were not the person you saw in your mind. That you were better. But how can you be when you're always "you"? A nameless face in the crowd, a cog in the machine.

No one, really.

As a sudden hand wraps around your waist, you scream and nearly punch the lights out of the affectionate attacker before in the faint streetlight streaming through the windows you recognized Jimin's eyes.

"How did you get in here?" you rustled in indignation.

"I had a key made. Remember? So I could greet you at home after work," he explained sternly.

"Well, you can't be here now-" you tried to argue, even push him out if needed, but he grasped at your legs and wrestled you to sit atop of him. You always fretted you were too heavy but he never objected.

"I'll leave if you order me to leave. Say those exact words: "Jimin, I want you to leave and never return back."

"I want to be alone," you muttered out of force of habit playing with the neck of his shirt.

"It's not the same," he cupped your cheek. "Until you tell me to piss off in my face, I'll keep chasing you every time you run. You think no one would? I will. Over and over again."

Your lip wobbled.

"It's ungrateful work," you breathed as he tugged you closer into a hug, gently swaying from left to right.

"Not to me."

TAEHYUNG: It takes thirty minutes for your aunt, a known stick in the mud, to go from screaming why was there a whole ass adult man traipsing in the apartment her niece should keep an eye on, to peacefully discussing the best nut selection over the kitchen table with eagerly listening Taehyung on the other side.

You were 35% convinced he knew how to do magic, and 65% convinced he was magic. And if he feasibly could he would live in your asshole. And the worst of all you can't get rid of him.

Well no, the worst of all you don't want to.

Coming from a rough environment, no matter how you slice or dice it, that leaves its own impression upon the mind. Yours being - people leave, people lie, people bad. It was easy to go through life, more than two decades of them in selective solitude, having friends but never letting them too close in and soon after they would stop even being friends. It was easy and predictable and while no one cared for you, you had to care for no one, could go where you wanted, how and when you wanted and fully enjoy doing what you liked.

And then this curly-headed now human reincarnated tiger-bear hybrid showed up. Literally dropping out of nowhere whilst still in university, pointing a finger of his frankly too large of a hand at you and then basically saying: "I want that one, that one's mine". Actually no, he did say exactly those words as you remember faintly chucking a dictionary of law at his head, thinking he'll abduct you or something.

And that's how six years later you were moved in. And he had invaded every part of your life, with his kind words, sopping eyes and chiselled chin.

As Taehyung slowly drifted to sleep, eyes falling heavier, his hand is intertwined with yours. And as you'll go to sleep yourself, despite him having his own bed, inexplicably you'll wake up with his breath against the back of your head.

Which was strange you know. You don't even remember agreeing to be friends with him. But steady as a clockwork, lo' and behold, at two in the morning, Taehyung's thigh squirms in between yours and he sighs in content.

Bizarre to say the least.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asks in wonder, poking his very shirtless body through the crack in the bathroom doors, toothbrush hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"Out?"

"Wait, lemme comme with."

"Can I go out on my own? As the big girl that I am?" you huffed dryly, brows furrowed.

"No," he replied with a smile. Then you walk side by side you glare at your hands, swaying together in the warm air.

"A crazy question, one I'm just putting out there, will you ever...leave?" you ask with a faint frown. There might just be this...supposition, guesswork if you will, in your mind that it might just be that somehow you're...Taehyung's partner now.

"Hmm," he makes an act of pondering it out. "No, no, I don't think I will. Unless you kick me out."

Kick him out. Why didn't you? When previous lovers threw fits about Taehyung always being near, you parted with them with nary of guilt because they were...not your rock. Your rock and safe space had become this strange, occasionally vampiric-looking, a cardigan-loving friend of yours. But he never vocalized it. Or so you thought. He was always teasing you about being hard of emotional hearing, now that you thought about it.

You halted in the middle of the sidewalk and he turns to glimpse at you, curious.

"Taehyung...are you...in love with me?"

Astonishingly, he bursts into a peal of laughter.

"I have been for years now," he chuckles light-heartedly. "Though thank you for finally noticing."

"Wh-why didn't you say something? Anything?"

An expression of deep fondness settles on his face and it warms you like the late summer sun.

"I say "I love you" every day, dumbass. I've chased after you for like six years now. Oh, god," he gasps, sounding suddenly absolutely horrified. "Six years of my life wasted chasing after your stupid head. Oh, I'm an idiot."

"So a moron for a moron, a match made in lower intelligence," you grumble and he snorts at it, crossing the distance once more. When he takes your hand it feels weird for a second. But only for one. You ask yourself what will change and realize - not much.

"That we are Mrs Kim," he coos with a broad grin. "Great! Now I can show you the plans for our shared tombstone I sketched back in the university!"

JUNGKOOK: "He's...will he be staring like that for the entire evening?" your friend asks timidly, voice nearly overshadowed even by the pleasant music of the brunch place. You glimpse over your shoulder to find him aimlessly lounging around. When meeting your gaze, his lips, almost involuntary, spread into a wide grin as his nose scrunches in a manner that is inappropriate for any self-respecting bodyguard. He at least gathers that and sobers with a stern cough.

"Yeah, he's just...my...finance manager," lamely, you trail off but at least they believe it. Considering the last three months it wasn't that believable.

"In a twist of miraculous fate, a poor vintage boutique worker becomes the sole inheritor of the Durhanan Estate," she quotes with a mysterious smile and you squirm awkwardly as you always did when it was bought up. Six years of lawsuits had rendered the luck into a frenzied fever dream one you thought would never come to fruition. Even when the final decision was laid to rest and the lawyers of your great-grandfather popped their champagnes with cheery eyes it all felt so distant. Like a different life. That feeling, you find out, never left.

"Yeah, it's...crazy," you chuckled self-consciously.

"So is the old house haunted?" she questions leaning over the table with keen interest, though every once in a while her gaze does stray worryingly to where Jungkook was standing.

"It's just creepy. It's big...and old," you confess perhaps colouring it with hues too bold, knowing only the answer such as this would satisfy her interest. It was old and entirely too big (who needed thirty-four rooms) but with Jungkook it was less lonely, less of a ghost house and more of a...

No, it's stupid, don't say it, you think to yourself.

"So now that you're rich," she throws a not-so-small of judgemental look over the crystal glass of mimosa. "Will you be forgetting all about us?"

"No," you assure her. "This means nothing. It's just a change of...housing."

But she only scoffs in reply. You think you might not have your best friend much longer.

"You look unhappy," Jungkook reckons quietly, whilst driving back to the Durhanan estate. A nearly 300-year chateau hidden within an unnamed forest deep in the countryside. Once the chief story of the local children's ghost tales and now - your home.

Of sorts.

"I'm just tired," you deny, peering into the rolling landscape of the wilting greenery. A rougher hand suddenly rests atop of yours, stopping them from ripping the skin around the fingernails. Your face swelters with heat and you gently remove his palm.

You were his boss and this was...this was not appropriate.

But Jungkook has other ideas and despite there being thirty-four rooms and whooping nine acres of gardens there's hardly any escape from him.

"My lady, oh, my lady," he calls across the gravel path leading down into the overgrown, ivy-ridden paths. He runs up to you and then gently tucks the bloom of one of the wild roses ravaging the grounds behind your ear. He tries to suppress the smirk on his face and narrows his eyes against the glaring sun.

"You're...you," he stutters. "You doing anything special, tonight?"

You don't quite know why but that question, posed so innocently and presumably out of a need to start a conversation, makes you laugh. It was only you two here, no wifi, piss-poor electricity and the nearest town, a village actually, was thirty-minute drive away and the only thing interesting there was a two-room corner shop.

"Wondering whether we're going to be killed by demons, yes," you laughed lightly.

"I was just wondering whether we could bust out the old reliable solitaire in the library?"

You sigh but it falls more endeared than annoyed.

"Jungkook, stop trying to seduce me."

At first, his face seems to be crestfallen only for a cheeky smirk to appear.

"Trying?" he echoed and slightly leaned into you. A gust of sharp wind broke through the gardens and in sync you glanced at the sky above your heads. A cluster of dark clouds was gathering in the south.

"Let's go in," he urges softly but his body standing behind you flames your back.

A thunder was ripping outside like something crazy, rattling the panes of the window so hard you fretted they would shatter at some point. And the house screamed. Every breeze of the wind seemed to tear into the old floorboards as though they were alive.

Ghosts are not real, ghosts are not real, ghosts are not-

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

You screamed your lungs out, lunging towards the golden candelabra perched on the bedside table.

"You're alright? Are you okay?" Jungkook's voice swims through the dark and you exhale in loud relief.

"Do not! Scare me like that!"

After a moment and a creak of the old floor comes a bashful.

"Sorry."

Another crack of lightning. In the brief flash, you see him standing, unsure but not leaving. It was a bodyguard's duty to protect and he always took his duty quite seriously. Even if this duty was simply to protect you from any unwanted journalists and stalkers where there was none leaving him practically with nothing to do.

"Should I stay here? Protect you...from the storm?"

You raise an eyebrow.

"The storm? That is-"

CRACK!

"Yes, please and thank you," you whimper and not even a second later, the side of your bed dips.

Crickets might as well be chirping at the moment.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" he offers, sweetly, oh so sweetly as if he wasn't a little demon wearing a cheap halo. But still, the house continues its wail. How many lives had been lost in these walls? What stories did they tell?

You didn't want to know and so you agree but as he takes your palm, your hand lands on a very firm set of muscles.

"Jungkook, please retake 9th-grade biology, your six-pack is not a hand."

"It emits the same level of comfort."

He trails your hand higher, over his pecks and lands right on his heart. It drums like a fevered bird underneath your fingertips.

"Why are you so nervous?" you hum and he rolls on his side and settles himself onto the pillow.

"Because I like you. And you like me. Even if you pretend that you don't."

"It's really not ap-"

"Appropriate?" he finishes and then tugs his hands over your waist pulling you closer. "Perhaps not but you know what happens in the spooky old mansion, stays in the spooky old mansion."

His warm palm cups your cheek, stroking it with a dizzied smile.

"And if it doesn't, I'm a really good runner, so you can scurry all you like," a pause. His hand presses you even closer.

© soraviii/soraviie 2022-2023

[comfycozycrossfox]

vagina talk lmao //

we dont talk about discharge enough bruh. okay. listen. i was told that it would be a little bit of goop that happens sometimes, sometimes just around your period, maybe wear a pantyliner if its too bad! they made it sound OCCASIONAL. NO. i am in a constant battle. finding out that some people just wear a pantyliner 24/7!???????! are you kidding me. oh my god. first of all who has the money for that. second of all... no comfort ever.... but its non-stop. every day damn near. leave me ALONE. i use a menstrual cup daily bc i cant be assed to deal with it and even THEN the cup ISNT PERFECT!!! at my work i have to be in a goddamn cave with no bathroom for an hour straight! and im just supposed to be okay with that??? the forever goop?? none of my underwear looks clean after 1 use even after washing it!!!!

"oh its the vagina self-cleaning" WELL ITS DOING A SHIT JOB BC I STILL GET UTIS AND YEAST INFECTIONS? WHATS ALL THE GODDAMN GOOP FOR IF YOU CANT EVEN KEEP IT CLEAN IN THERE??? "the vagina is a self-cleaning organ" and it throws a HISSY FIT any time a new human penis (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ENTERING IT) gets in its vicinity. at that point stop with the fucking goop and let me clean it myself. WITHOUT it throwing a fit, WHICH IT DOES MOST OF THE TIME IF YOU DO TRY TO CLEAN IT!

my fucking god. i have NO other reason to get rid of my pussy other than that. its not enough of a reason... but its fucking CLOSE. i am TIRED OF HER

[winderlylandchime]

1/3 We are officially on season 3! And it is a lot and I’m not even sorry for how long this one is because he went through a rollercoaster. And it did start with me starting the ep and then yelling ‘WAIT NO IM MOT READY!’ And then he went to get him Team Brian shirt..this is my actual life now. Anyway: ‘I swear I didn’t touch the tv! I don’t know why it’s without color. (I let him know it’s the ep) oh, well now i feel silly. What’s going on? HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF SHIT AND HELL! HE JUST PUNCHED HIM! HE FUCKING DID IT! I HAVE WAITED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT! OH THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL! FUCK YEAH! FINALLY!! FUCKING FINALLY! *takes the remote and proceeds to rewind it three more times* Oh that was beautiful, i have never felt more alive than in this exact moment. What a beautiful punch! Oh i can tell he himself has wanted to do that for a while…wait why did he do it though? Hold up, i gotta calm down, this made my heart run a marathon’ He paused the tv on Mikeys face falling on the ground and is just staring at it while the biggest smile on his face and then very softly he whispered to himself “again.” ‘ohhhhhh Mad Dog Kinney? I fuck with that. BUT WHAT DID HE DO?! I mean what didn’t he do. But like what happened. Oh fuck, i forgot he narrates this thing…why is he doing that when nobody watches or cares for him? Should the actors who play Brian and Justin narrate? Can he stop talking? Yes please show me what the fuck just happened but now, do it in color!’ I’ve never seen him this happy. ‘NO NO NO NOT THE FUCKING PARTY AGAIN! HAVEN’T I SUFFERED ENOUGH?! Oh look it’s Brian *brian drives off* nevermind.’ The sound that just came out of this mans mouth at the sight of Justin in Ethans bed and the violin music is actually insane. ‘SHOVE THAT FUCKING TAMBOURINE UP YOUR ASS! *pauses tv on naked ethan playing violin and puts his head in his hands and elbows on his knees* UGHHHHHHHHH WHY GOD WHY ME?! *plays ep and ethan says he promised to serenade him awake, immediately hits pause again and burst into laughter and then plays it again* EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW..oh he got him a rose and chocolate for breakfast..what a fucking idiot. Oh he can’t believe he’s finally here? what a fucking weasel and a cheater! I hate them both right now. This *flaps his hand towards ethan and justin* is worse than…quick what’s something really bad? Well whatever! It’s worse than that’ He is sitting on the couch and he just started slowly sliding off of it and is hiding his his face behind his hand. (justin says he can’t stay) ‘haha nobody wants to be around you. He has to pick up his stuff. Where is he gonna live? Debbie’s? Is THAT HOW THEY GET BACK TOGETHER? *mocks ethan* what if he’s there..dude, you fucked him, you stole him and you’re STILL insecure.. i mean good but cmon. YOU DONT CARE CAUSE YOURE WITH HIM? Oh fuck you Justin. SHOVE THAT ROSE UP YOUR ASS! I would die if he stabs Justin with a thorn now. THEY DONT MAKE RAGE ANYMORE? FUCK YOU JUSTIN’ He genuinely sounds like someone is torturing him because he keeps groaning and going ‘ugh!’ Every few seconds. ‘Who do you think you are to just come into his loft? Oh he’s really gonna pack it away whi- OMG HES FUCK- wait that’s them. Didn’t that happen in season 1? Wait this looks the same but different, did they just make ice cream fucking part of their Tuesday nights? Dude, I said it back then and I’ll say it again: hot but yeast infection waiting to happen! *pauses on Brian* HOW CAN HE LEAVE AND CHEAT ON THIS? You will never have that with the pianist! Oh so they’re just gonna show me all the times they fucked before he fucked it all up?’ And he went out to smoke. Honestly, he lasted longer than i expected. ‘I forgot about Emmett and Ted. I…I dont think I like it anymore..*looks at me curiously* are all you lesbians like this? Not knowing how to mind your business? Because this *flaps his hand towards mel and linds* is annoying. Their whole thing in this show is cheating and not minding their business’

He had to get his Team Brian t shirt… like he’s watching sports!! (Don’t people wear their team jerseys when they watch sports? I, myself, am not a sports watcher.)

Oh I forget he narrates the thing - SO RELATABLE. Why does Michael narrate the thing? Who’s idea was that?

The cringe of seeing Ethan with Justin and (more importantly) Justin with Ethan is a whole thing this season. Buckle up, brother anon.

“I would die if he stabs justin with a thorn now” UM, so just like wait a handful of episodes and we’ll get to Justin being stabbed with thorns.

Hot but yeast infection waiting to happen. I forgot we didn’t get his reactions to the earliest episodes. But yes, do not put sugar things in your sugar bits and bobs.

HOW CAN HE LEAVE AND CHEAT ON THIS. Indeed, inquiring minds want to know.

Mel and Linds give lesbians a bad name. The representation of wlw on this show was the worst.

[cloudselkie]

So yesterday, I got a lesson in just how shitty my immune system is now that I'm on biologics.

The back of my neck has been itchy all week. Like, REALLY itchy. I figured I was just a spot I missed with sunscreen and went about my life. Come Saturday night, after almost a week of constant itching, I take a picture of it so I can see what it looks like.

It looks like a fungal infection. After a quick google, I find out that A. yes, it is most likely fungus, B. this is common for people one biologics, and C. it can end up life threatening if not treated asap. So, yesterday, my fiance and I went to the urgent care because it's the only place open on Sundays and saw the doctor. She agreed that it was likely yeast and gave me a pill and some cream.

And how did I get a yeast infection on my fucking neck? Because it's been 100° or above for weeks, I'm fat and sweat profusely, and I have long hair that traps the moisture.

So now, I have to avoid doing anything that makes me sweat for at least a week and have to keep my hair in a bun every day to keep it dry enough to heal.

I've been on this shit for 10 weeks and I'm so fucking done. I feel like a fucking disgusting cesspool of gross. All for trying to fucking exist with Crohns.

[cyberphuck]

(Not you sweetie, you're amazing and perfect) Shut the fuck up with this "if you're not actively pissing on a cop's shoes then you don't get to reclaim slurs" shit. We reclaimed the slurs for ALL OF US so that ALL OF US could use them, not just the ones who "do the work." You do to the work so that OTHER PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO, you fucking anal yeast infection. THAT IS CAPITALIST BULLSHIT. I HAVE MADE THE BREAD ON MY OWN BUT I WILL SHARE IT WITH THOSE WHO WERE UNABLE TO HELP BECAUSE I AM NOT A FUCKING MEGASOPHAGUS WHO EXCLUDES THOSE MOST IN NEED OF MY KINDNESS. How DARE you claim you're anti-ableist. Literally, fuck ALL THE WAY OFF, like pack your shit, book your tickets in advance, make sure to clear your cookies so the airline doesn't charge you too much, aim for the middle of the week for the best price, check in 24 hours before the flight, arrive at the airport at least two hours in advance, get your tickets from the kiosk, go through the security line where you have to take your PROBABLY STUPID-LOOKING shoes off and stand in the whirly thing, awkwardly try to gather all your shit from the gray bins and get out of the way so you're not holding up the line, find a place to sit down and put your PROBABLY STILL STUPID-LOOKING shoes back on, walk three miles to your gate, get there and realize there's still an hour and a half until departure, buy a $57 coffee even though you'd told yourself you weren't going to ("oh, well I GUESS if all they have is Starbucks I'll get one, but usually I only drink ARTISAN BREWS from STUPID FUCKFACE COFFEE COMMUNE"), plug your phone into one of the charging ports at the gate only to find that they don't work, hunch in one of the uncomfortable chairs, look up as the gate starts to get crowded with people, listen to 89 announcements from the gate lady as people crowd around and forget how to form a fucking line, stand around and glare at your phone as people with first class tickets get to board ahead of you, sigh irritatedly at the 15 people whose carryons are way too big and they KNEW it but they were gonna try to get on with them anyway and now they have to check them at the gate and it's taking forever, worriedly watch a woman with a small child board along with you and pray that it doesn't start crying because you ALREADY have a headache, find a seat and buckle in, listen to the flight attendants explain and re-explain to people how to put their stupid bags in the overhead bins and how it's "a very full flight" so don't just jam it in any which way, get up and slide out into the aisle so the guy who paid more for the window seat can get by you, make awkward eye contact with him for a moment and give him the White Person Smile (tm) before settling back in, grunt as the person in the seat in front of you drops their seat back practically in your face, listen to the flight attendant talk about emergency exists and the floatation devices because even though you've heard it before but you're lowkey afraid if you don't pay attention then this'll be the time you need that information, stare out the window where you can just barely see the runway crew loading the bags into the cargo hold, breathe a sigh of relief as the engines finally start up and you taxi to the runway, turn onto it and hear the engines wind up to a roar, get pressed back into your seat as the pilot brings you down the runway, feel that weird lift as the plane gets airborne, and relax as you're finally on your way to

FUCKING OFF

Posting faggot and queer like 2am gunshots to keep property values on my blog low and scare away assimilationist LGBTs who want to replace my empty lot full of native wildflowers with a 5-over-1 because they're too traumatized by their upbringing to accept the reality of our diverse marginalized community

[jodilin65]

Every time I log into Messenger, it asks me to input a code because some of my chat history is missing, and every time it sends this code to my old phone number, even though my current one is updated. I still don't get it.

Not happy that the misogynistic, gay-hating piece of shit is taking over again tomorrow, but you know what? We survived 4 years of him, and we'll do it again. I hate to say it, but if it wasn't for him, it would just be some other Republican with the same “values” and goals. Like it or not, this country is getting redder by the moment. On the bright side, maybe we won't have 20 million more people to burden and hoard our resources. I know most people are pro-immigration, but I feel how I feel. Sometimes what I feel is in the norms, and sometimes it isn't, and that's okay. I'm not going to hold back on my political feelings any more than I would hold back on my opinions about food, colors, entertainment, or whatever.

I know Trump is anti-Muslim, but I don't think he's as pro-Jew as Andy likes to think he is. I hope the dream I had last night isn't any warning of any kind. I don't think it is, though. In real life, you couldn't just look at me and tell I was of Ashkenazi descent, even though I consider myself as religious as this computer I'm working on. I don't have your typical Jewish nose, and I don't have darker hair and skin. I'm a pale, green-eyed brunette with a button nose.

In the dream, I guess a group of people, whoever they were, were after the Jews, and I was trying to find a place to hide. I spotted a distant cousin of mine sunbathing in a bikini and looking rather worried. I then ran into my house or apartment and went to lock myself in the bedroom, but then I realized that door didn't have a lock on it, so I went into the bathroom instead.

Anyway, I think I'm getting better, but I can't say for sure. Sometimes it seems like I'm not having as much of a burning sensation, but then I start burning again. I'm only halfway through treatment, though. 

Had a bit of lower back pain for a very brief time that ended up moving towards the side but still low down. More than likely, I just pulled a muscle.

The thing is that even though I slept okay with no breathing issues or outside sounds disturbing me, I have been absolutely exhausted all day. My fatigue is totally off the charts, and my mouth feels gross, but I know that's the antibiotics. They always kill that good bacteria. I'm trying to replace it with probiotic pills every day and hopefully escape a yeast infection too. If after another dose or two, I'm still having symptoms, I'm going to be really frustrated.

Tom got some Orajel because his gums were hurting. Between his phobia of dentists and our lack of money, he hasn’t dealt with it, so I really hope he doesn't have anything serious going on!

[ninelivesastrology]

tw: child abuse

My maternal sadist would personally have a meltdown over the smallest thing, blow it out of proportion, blame it on me, yell at me and threaten me for hours until I gave a false confession just to make her stop. Weekly or at least biweekly. Sometimes she call my family members (who weren't her family members) and tell them that I was a liar, literally with her bedroom door open. I remember one time she accused me of using it to get high. 4 hour argument.

She did this for years and that's how she groomed my family members in case I ever told them or remembered... Then she would slander them to me and list off reasons as to why I would never want to live with them, literally fabricating stories. I remember asking a family member about certain things and my family member was in shock that she was lied on like that. My MS also stalked this person's daughter online for three years and talked shit about her constantly, but that's a glimpse into her controlling behavior and manipulation. She was loyal to no one, but remained close to my family because it benefited her ($$$$).

One of my family members offered me to live with her for the summer and she lived really far away. I wanted to go so bad because I wanted to live out there. My MS quickly shut that down.

Divide and conquer and it worked time and time again.

So honestly, it's not like I'm not aware of the way adults misuse their power when it comes to children in their care while also abusing the trust of every adult around that child.

That woman was so terrible to me, flipped out over me wanting to see a GYN for the first time because I had BV AND a yeast infection at the same time. 😂 My luck. And it took me a week to find out what it was so I could bring it up to her. As if she ever talked to me about my vagina anyway. As if she ever took me to doctors in general anyway or else I would've been diagnosed with my heart disease sooner. Lots of accusing me of being a whore, being dirty when I wasn't even allowed to leave the house. Just fabricating.

She screamed, "When you're 18, you can go snee one!" And I was 15. And you can only guess why someone would do that. It's pretty clear to me now.

When I was 18, I left her and never looked back, never broke no contact.

[ventdetourment]

I don't think I've had a week without a fucking issue ever since I got here

To be fair doctors missed the fact that my psoriasis was getting erythrodermic back in France but they weren't dermatologists because no fucking dermatologist takes new patients there anymore

But anyway. New GI team determines my last treatment wasn't working. Wants me on the most expensive treatment there is. OK. Get the implant because I can't be on the pill AND the new treatment.

Get a UTI. Get antibiotics. Antibiotics cause yeast infection. UTI returns. Repeat cycle. Not sure if it's gone to this day but at least I don't have kidney pain anymore.

Had an appointment booked for dermatologist... Gets fast tracked to it because half my body is covered in a red rash that starts peeling. I ask doctors on my online chat, suspecting a fungal infection - nope, erythrodermic psoriasis, could die, lol.

Gets seen in dermatology the new week. Put on two creams including one steroid. Says he'll discuss Stelara with GI, who had in the meantime decided on another med.

Eventually they both agree on going with Stelara... And my insurance denies it. Motherfucker, we picked Kaiser specifically because they're both the insurance and the medical team. After some back and forth, GI fixes it and I get my first infusion. Yay.

A couple weeks after that, I start getting sores in my mouth, mostly under my tongue. I tell my GI on the phone checkup, and she doesn't think it's linked to the new medication.

Either way I'm seeing the dentist a week after the call because I need my wisdom teeth extracted. Dentist has no clue what the sores are, prescribes a mix of antifungal + numbing agent + something else to hopefully fix it. It helps for two days but there's not enough medication and it simply returns.

And now I'm here. First Stelara injection next week at the hospital, which I'm not looking forward to. I fucking hated prefilled pens but I'm going to hate that shit even more.

I have a GP appointment the next day and hope they can either tell me what's wrong or direct me to someone who can. I've asked for a magic mouthwash refill to tide me over. That's $80 BTW.

But for now eating, brushing my teeth and even speaking hurts like hell. Just needed to write out the timeline because I feel insane.

[dumbjackass]

I just feel like fucking dog shit.

I though I had a yeast infection, took meds, didn't clear, went to the docs, and its not that.

they think its bv. been taking meds almost finished with absolutely no improvement. they thought it looked like that or an STD.

dont think my partners cheating but the mention makes me edgy and feel some type of way.

reading and reading. don't really think I have an STD or bv cuz I'm not smelly I'm just in fucking pain.

cant prove it but FAIRLY sure this is vaginal atrophy from my detransition. I have every symptom and this makes way more sense. Atrophy was also something I brought up to my doc specifically when I went to her to talk for the first time about all this and she just sat there like "mmmhmmm:)" and then did nothing. I even specifically mentioned going on estrogen for it.

And as I read more I just feel sadder and sadder. it says treating vaginal atrophy will take weeks before I get any sort of comfort and it's not a curable problem.

I loved my sex life and to think of it being so greatly impacted because of someones negligence is so fucking enraging and heartbreaking. I feel so disconnected to him not being able to engage in that way and I'm also in so much pain all the time I cant really function so I just never feel like I'm present. I just feel like I'm by myself and I'm miserable. thinking of not being able to have a normal sex life honestly makes me want to die.

I don't know yet I still haven't gotten my labs back so for all I know its still bv maybe I just have some shitty strain who knows. Occasionally I just hope its gonorrhea because at least you can cure that quickly and I can get out of this misery faster but I don't think that's the case.

Its been days and I've called already and they don't have anything. I also messaged my doc through the portal before the weekend about being in a dysfunctional amount of pain and have just gotten no response.

i just want some fucking relief.

[swaglet]

i'm gonna be so real with everybody. i think it should be completely illegal for these to be sold. there's no benefit to them at all. they don't actually make you smell good. putting any harsh chemicals, especially fragrances and detergents, anywhere NEAR your vagina disrupts its pH balance, which in turn disrupts its ability to clean itself (yes it really is a self cleaning organ which we all are aware of but apparently the majority of the world is not for some reason) and increases the risk for yeast infections and UTIs. i'm fairly convinced that one of the reasons so many women get frequent UTIs could be related to how they handle vaginal hygiene and what products they use, specifically ones with fragrances and detergents.

just use mild, unscented soap!!!! or even just water and a clean washcloth!!! i promise you you don't need anything else, you are clean down there if you are using water and washing it, it does a large part of the work for you. that's what your discharge is for. just wipe your vulva with a washcloth and wash it off with water (and mild unscented soap if you're particularly worried) and you are good to go, squeaky clean. whatever smell comes out of you is, with 99% certainty, most likely meant to come out of you. first of all, it's an organ. second, it sits very snugly between your thighs and both of your buttcheeks all day long while you go about your business. you're probably going to sweat at some point throughout the day, you could be on your period, you are going to get discharge. all of those are normal things that happen and come together to make smells that aren't going to be the most pleasant thing on earth, but they came from the body of a living animal that secretes waste while she does her thing. a man in your same situation (who doesn't even menstruate, by the way) probably took a shit and didn't completely wipe his ass and also took a piss and left a little droplet of it in his underwear when he pulled his pants back up and didn't give a shit. and you're worried about YOU being gross. ok. men literally leave piss in their underwear and shit flakes in their ass hair but i have never seen an aisle full of male hygiene products like we have for women. at most, i see dude wipes for poopy sweaty asscrack hair and monkeybutt powder for sweaty nutsacks. AND MOST OF THEM DON'T EVEN USE THAT STUFF THEY JUST DON'T GAF.

i cannot preach to you just how NATURAL the smells coming out of you are. and i cannot tell you just how much nobody cares. matter of fact is, you are worried about it in your own head, but most other people most likely can't smell it at all. i have had friends tell me "omfg i need to go to the bathroom right now do you have a wet wipe i'm so scared my coochie stinks" and i'm like "? i smell nothing how could anyone even smell that unless they were directly looking for it" and my friends would always get kind of upset at my for saying that but I'm being so honest how could anyone even smell that. i've never been in a situation where i've smelled someone's vagina odor unless she was pantsless and her crotch was in my face

and if you DO have a smell coming from your vagina that is worrying you, please do not be embarrassed to call a (FEMALE, IF POSSIBLE) gyno and ask her about it!!! you may have some kind of infection that can easily be treated by prescription medication, NOT harsh fragrant chemicals from the drug store 😡 PLEASE TREAT YOUR PUSSIES KINDLY 🫶🏻 THEY LOVE YOU

i'm mostly talking about these things, like soaps and wipes and deodorants specifically designed, labelled, and packaged to be used on your vulva and inside your vagina.

please reblog for the largest sample size possible i Want answers. why is that aisle even in the store

[generic-whumperz]

Wooo thanks for the tag 🫶

I don’t have much posted yet (just a zillion WIPs currently), but I’ll be sharing some out of context future Vinny/ Vinny inspired quotes.

Keep in mind this dude is in his mid-40s, an unhinged substance abuser, a thug hit man with copious amounts of PTSD from being a war medic and surviving the apocalypse, and that he is a whumper. Vincent Warren Sullivan couldn’t give a fuck if he tried and he’s an asshole.

He’s the Crass Sullivan™️ for a reason, proceed with caution. No tags, but like, there probably should be. If your sensitive to dastardly behavior, avert your eyes.

Due to the nature of the diabolical quotes shown below, I will simply leave an open tag so I don’t have to @ anyone.

Suck my entire dick from the back, bitch. (Tagline)

Awe what’s the matter, kiddo? Suffering from a case of perceptile dysfunction? I got a pill that’ll perk ya right up! (Says this to The Aid when his abilities aren’t working right)

You reek like a fucken yeast infection. Looking at ya even makes me itch.

Get the fuck off my jock pally, unless you’re dying to be the next Rorschach test under my Italian loafers.

Keep those lips yappin’, and I’ll evict every one of those busted ass piano keys you call teeth till the Tooth Fairy starts charging you rent.

I’m fucking jonesin’ Papi, hit me with a double.

I’d say you’re full of shit, but even fucken fertilizer serves a purpose.

I’d split you open faster than a busted condom at a titty-bar trucker orgy on route 95.

You’ve got all the bite of a limp dick in a cold shower.

That dusty fart sonovabitch has all the charm of a backed-up septic tank. Smells like a load of crap too.

You’re not even worth the bullet it’d take to shut you up, so I’ll just drown you instead. I told you I’d get you soaking wet anywho.

Come on, Cowboy, the less left to chance the better. We ain’t gotta waste our time pissing on bushes and leaving our dicks to the wind. We’re men, not dogs. (Says this to Waylon)

Fuck me sideways, YES you NEED lube! Ya can’t keep tearing his candy ass up like that unless you want him permanently stuck in adult diapers! And do you got and idea of how hard it is to find Desitin in the fucken apocalypse? (Says this to Wyatt about The Aid)

Oh I have an idea, how about you gargle my balls?

Hungry? Here’s some crackers, feel free to help yourself to the cheese from under my nuts.

OC in 15

Thanks for the tag @bamber344

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

With that in mind, I think I’m gonna do Julio. Yeah, I like the guy, and he’s one of the characters that has the most dialogue/the most fun dialogue. Let’s see if we can get it to 15 🤔 And, like a crazy person, let's see if I can get the quotes in chronological order!

"It was supposed to be my mom, going to college and being the first one in our family to go, but then she had me, and, well –here I am..." -from What Kind of Leader Do You Want to Be, Part 1

"If anyone comes looking for (the kids he rescued), let them try to take them from us!" -from What Kind of Leader Do You Want to Be, Part 2

"Alright, he speaks!...You wanna go, pendejo, let’s go!" -from The Flicker of A Spark

"But you wandered into our territory, and you pissed off my cousin. You gotta answer to that, you know..." -from The Flicker of a Spark

"His name is Khaled, and no, I am not thinking about him, really!” -from Aftermath of a Flicker of a Spark

"(The hitman side hustle) is on a need to know basis, vato. Do you need to know?" -from A Regular Thing?

"Aaaand you’re dead. Great job." -from A Regular Thing?

"‘Nearly’ getting me is not getting me. ‘Nearly’ gets you dead!” -from A Regular Thing?

��Say it like you believe it, and maybe I’ll believe it too." -from Julio's Reverie

“Do you want to tell me what happened, or do you just want to cuddle for a bit?” -from Let Me See (Please)

"Hmm, bad choice, vato, Nobody holds a gun to my head!" -from Unlikely Partnership

"The real question is, what are you willing to do –no, what are you willing to give to see Khaled happy and free, as he should be?” -from Unlikely Partnership

“Where you going off to, man? You just got here!...Why don’t you step out of the vehicle and come on in here?” -from Wrong Turn

"See you in hell." -from Falling Like Snow

"I looked up to someone who later came to disappoint me, too...He didn’t get you out of your depression. You put in the work, you studied those long hours, you saw your future and you ran at it with everything you had to get it. You did all that, not him. He was just the spark, if you will, but the rest? That. Was. All. You.” -from Purpose Lost, Then Regained

And yep, that’s our Julio!

Tagging @generic-whumperz @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @melpomenelamusa @whumpsoda and whoever else wants a go!

[jodilin65]

Woke up very tired today and tried to tell myself it was no big deal, I expected it, and yesterday’s energy was something I had just once in a while. But it is a big deal and it does bother me. I want to be out there living my life. Not stuck at home so much of the time suffering or at least not having energy. I sit and think to myself, I remember the days when I could be outdoors most of the time and I could be active doing things on a regular basis, even if “active” didn’t necessarily mean running a mile a minute.

And then I also found, upon waking up, that the dreaded UTI I feared I would get had flourished overnight. I began noticing more burning a couple of days ago but today has been the most obvious. I’m 95% sure it is a UTI. That other small percentage wonders if it could be because I took a few days off of the Replens and the probiotics. Seems a bit extreme for that, though, so I’m still going with a UTI. I’ve been drinking cranberry juice and I messaged Rhonda. I told her I had 4 nitrofurantoin pills left over from when they switched me to something for my kidney infection and that I could start treatment tonight and asked if she could call in 6 more to make it the 10 they usually prescribe.

I’ve had an underlying feeling of nausea all day, but since my number twos started back up again it’s been a little better.

There I was doing better overall and now I get hit with the virus and then the UTI. My next concern is a yeast infection. I just can’t get a break! Irrational or not, I sometimes can’t help the feeling that something is using my body against me since it hasn’t been able to use other things to fuck with me as easily as it used to. Imagine that kind of control and power - hate someone enough to want to pick on them and make their body do whatever you want it to do to torture them. I really hope to hell there’s nothing up there that evil!

In neighborhood news, the honker took the motorcycle out while I slept, and didn’t wake me up. Still, I wish his company would get the fuck out already so he wouldn’t ride the thing every day. Furthermore, I wish they would stop coming to visit every single year. My parents left Massachusetts five years before I did and I was only down here twice. Never came here from the West and of course, there was that decade when I wouldn’t have anything to do with them.

Then there’s Linda, the bitch I’ve dubbed a Little Miss Be Happy. I noticed a bench sitting out front for tomorrow’s pick up and I thought why not grab it to put in back? So I walked up to her door which was open and saw she had three other ladies sitting around her kitchen table. They told me to come in, and I’m not sure if she looked horrified to see who it was or what, but I introduced myself as if we’d never met, played kind and dumb, and asked her about the bench. She warned me it wasn’t safe to sit on and she was right. Tom and I checked it out and saw it was old and flimsy. I’m sure she badmouthed me to her little friends after I left too, not that I give a shit.

I later thanked the “lady” in the group for warning me that it was rickety and that I didn’t get names because she had company and I didn’t want to intrude. Of course she never responded, lol, but a couple of others did, saying they would keep looking, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were the ones at her house at the time.

I know it’s mean and perhaps immature as well but sometimes even I like to play with people a little. I guess the prankster in me can’t ever be fully extinguished. When I read back on some of my earlier journals, I see I really did do a lot of silly and immature things. I’m sure we all feel that way when we look back on our pasts at times. Just the way I took Nane so seriously was kind of ridiculous.

Tom and I were talking about the West Coast versus the East Coast and we both agreed that while we have met some horrible people on both coasts as well as some that were great, the West Coast was definitely friendlier in general. When I compare our neighbors here to the ones we had in Cali even though I was out and about more back there, even crazy Dixie was friendlier. Other than Toni and Irma, and then Sue and Annette from Bingo, everyone around us is pretty antisocial or just not very friendly. Most of them are a bunch of Bible-thumping bigots with big mouths. No one here compares to the “Twenties” or Bob and Virginia. Even Geri across the street was nice with the exception of her letting her dog bark. Jim and “Santa” were nice too. I don’t miss California, though. Just having some breathing room around us and a bigger house.

I like to play around with different apps and try new things. Most of them I end up dumping but the dream app I’m trying is kind of cool. You write down what you dreamed and you can generate an image based on whatever you dreamed to go with it, then it interprets your dream.

[missy-0-piink]

i think lovecraft would be a service dom, imagine him lapping at your cunt for hours..

ARRRRGH 👹👹👹👹

YESYESYES

Omg tentacle tongue?!?!??!?

Sign me the fuck up 😋😋😋😋

His jaw wouldn’t get tired. Ever.

So you’d be there all day/night, thighs quivering in his hold as his long and slimy tongue slathers your pussy for hours

The texture is strange, you think, but pleasurable

Oh so pleasurable

You can see him look up at you with a bored and uninterested expression that completely contradicts the fervour of which his tongue flicks against your clit

Before you can register, though, a second tentacle structure, a second tongue, appears from his mouth and slips inside of you, the other still licking circles into your clit

You let out a yelp, instinctively trying to close your thighs but lovecraft holds them open with no strain; his strength greatly surpassing yours

the feeling is so fucking intense

You can then feel a third, thinner tongue trail down to the rim of your ass, just circling it, not entering

The combination of sensations makes you see stars as you lay there, helpless to the onslaught of pleasure lovecraft brings you

His bored gaze never leaves you; your body and your face, drinking in the twitches and expressions, basking in the high pitched moans that leave your mouth

And after you cum?

He doesn’t fucking stop

Your hips buck and your body arches, unable to handle the overstimulation

You manage to scoot yourself away somewhat, but lovecraft just pulls you back, spreading your thighs even wider as he lets out a warning growl

You sob as he continues, making you cum a second time

Then a third

Then a fourth

Then a fifth

By the time he’s done, you’re on the verge of passing out and slump completely when he pulls his tongues away from you, using them to lick up the slick that’s covered his face, chin and neck while letting out a hum of appreciation

“You always taste sweet, like chocolate…” he muses, standing there weirdly like he always does after any sexual activities

If you were anyone else, it would have killed the mood indefinitely

Yet, you just roll your eyes and chuckle, responding “No, my dear, I definitely do not. you either always say that or that I taste like ice cream haha… but I’m glad you like it”

(Disclaimer: You definitely did not taste like chocolate or icecream, he just didn’t know what else to compare a good taste to)

You sink further into the sheets, feeling a wet cloth rub against you body, gently cleaning you

You smile,

You had taught him well

————

I had to add a goofy ending

This mf is so weird

I find it adorable

Also well done, you’ve made me add him to my simp list with this ask 😜

Also, just a little psa,

Don’t expect ur pussy to taste or smell sweet, it’s a fucking vagina for gods sake

Like, if it smells like a dead animal then yeah, go to the doctors but if it just smells slightly unpleasant? It’s fucking normal

I see too many people getting self conscious abt it bc of this unrealistic expectation that it should “taste like sweet desserts” or fucking “smell like flowers 🥺”

Like no, Tf????

And please for the love of god don’t buy products that advertise making your pussy “smell and taste good” or try to clean out your actual vaginal cavity

That shit screams “yeast infection”

A pussy is a pussy, and all pussies are beautiful so don’t be ashamed of it 🫡