#I GET IT I FEEL THEM I KNOWWWW
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[tears in my eyes] it’s okay to lose mutuals it’s okay to lose mutuals it’s okay to lose mutuals. u knew this would happen when u added another fandom to ur blog it’s okay to lose mutuals it’s okay to lo-
#I GET IT I FEEL THEM I KNOWWWW#but anytime i get a notif from ‚following’ that i KNEW was my mutual recently it’s#oughshhhshssgs owie#what did i do bestie was it me? 🥺#i thought we had something :C#hela yaps
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happy "our marriage is never gonna recover from this" day
#this is why you share your plan with 1 (one) other person; kids. otherwise you end up embarrassing yourself in front of the people#you were trying to impress (and the man youve fallen head over heels for)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#ed teach#edward teach#blackbeard#september 1st#s01e04#Discomfort in a Married State#gif#i didnt get the colour grading quite how i wanted it but i had fun tweaking them! its all learning; baybeee#im having fun! hopefully new laptop will have the power to let me control more things. maybe#(or maybe thats just skill issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)#yall gotta be nice to me ok im still figuring things out#also like. as i said earlier. i knowwww this scenes been giffed to shit. but also not so many with the leap year note! so.#i learnt that 1717 was NOT a leap year in the process of making this. djenks i feel betrayed & lied to#did YOU remember we had a february 29th this year? because i sure didnt. i squandered her
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so when are we gonna start appreciating undertale AUs for fueling a metric fuck ton of the creativity and longevity of the fandom because if i see one more person calling them the cringiest part of the last 8 years i might lose it
#trousled rants#been feeling a bit salty about this for a while but im letting it out now because i Can#but its insane seein ppl say “oh the fandom's mellowed out a lot its way more peaceful now” and agreeing bc it IS#and then “yeah now that AUs aren't so popular anymore its way more bearable” and its like :) okay#and if i told you that fan game you've been talking about for the past month is an au. what then#sighsghs its just like man i GET that a lot of aus are just edgy for the sake of it but shit dude!!! people were just having fun!!!!!#a lot of them were an avenue for ppl learning how to make their own stories!! even if they're not perfect or in character#making a shit ton of papyrus aus is one of the main things that helped me realize how much i love character design#and i KNOWWWW i'm not the only one and youre trying to tell me that's not awesome as hell!!!!!#yeah i probably i have nostalgia glasses but maybe i do kinda miss when everybody was a bit more insane actually . maybe i do#undertale
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hiii, for the ask game!
🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
~ @rekikiri
hmm. if i were to say something that involved andrew + his relationship with kids would you guys cancel me. i don't personally see andreil having kids/fostering/whatever and while i think andrew would love his nieces/nephews i don't know how good he actually would be with kids
#dont get me wrong i love the idea#and him being traumatised and breaking the cycle by loving a child in ways he wasn't loved? love it#it just doesn't feel...realistic to me#PERSONALLY#but that doesn't mean i don't fuck with the idea#because i LOVE andrew fics with aarons kids#and him dressing up with a tiara for his niece's fake tea party#i love that visual#and i love the idea of him being protective over them#but being actually GOOD with kids? i dont knowwww#DONT HATE ME
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omg i have the exact same thing where i just can't do ideas-work or sketchwork digitally, it's so hard! i really don't know what it is. maybe digital art kind of automatically turns on professional-look mode and trad art feels freer...? no clue but litrchrlly same thing i can never figure out why
I think so too!! Its so weird, even if I use the same mindset/restriction for both (no erasing so i force myself to do the same drawing multiple times to figure it out) it looks and feels different....its so crazy like is it not the same hand and brain working on/with both mediums??? 🤨🤨🤨🤨
#jadenvargen#maybe its like how (for me) different digital brushes make me draw differently because of the Feel of them#and traditional utensils are just like. the ideal tools for me that will never have digital replication??? IDK!!#i mean either way the ''problems'' are getting solved right#but i keep getting bizarrely overwhelmed trying to figure out Why 😭 like the mystery is killing me LOL#skunk mail#is it because i can see where the paper ends but im too into a big canvas to see the edges??#is that messing with my sense of scale and proportion or something. i dont knowwww
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my problem with art is that to get better at line art I need to practice line art but it's so much easier to fudge everything with paint. so I get into the line art and then two minutes later I'm painting. on the upside I have greatly improved at painting but STILL. THE LINEART. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
#and i knowwww i don't need to be able to do line art if i just like painting but I ALSO LIKE LINE ART. WHEN I CAN DO IT.#anyway I'm fine I'm cool everything's fine#i am like very slowly getting better at line art cuz i constantly want more definition in my painting but argh#would be so much easier if i could just... do line art for a while.#@ artists who do really nice sketches and line art i am salivating over your style cuz i love it so much and your dedication is admirable#i feel like people really do not have enough appreciation for how difficult it is to do sketches that are like... nice.#clean sketches are deceptively difficult. they look so easy but getting them clean is like. UGH. SKILL.
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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i do fr need to work on differentiating between "actually middleclass" and "doesnt live paycheck to paycheck" lmao bc that is something i struggle with... obviously ik i have more in common with like. even somebody whos fr middleclass disney vacations every year. I know i have more in common with them than i do with bezos but god at least i dont have to see bezos being annoying in front of me every day KJANDJKLNLJD
#bc its like this. i obviously have way more contempt for a billionaire. obviously. but ive never met an actual billionaire yfm. and i Have#met middleclass ppl and A lot not all but a lot. are so insufferable and ikkkk not all of them or whatever but like. i constantly got shit#for being poor from middle class kids and like. ik im supposed to be class solidarity with them bc were all poor when compared to a#billionaire but goddd fucking damn they make it difficult . ik its like well the upperclass Wants the lowerclass and middleclass to be at#eachothers throats bc it means they dont pay attention to the upperclass walking over the both of them. i knowwww. but i can multitask#major in hating rich people minor in hating the middleclass...#THIS ISNT RLY RELATEDFTO THE LAST POST AT ALL i just have a lot of like. complicated feelings abt classism basicallyy.#like. i wouldnt wish poverty on anybody it fucking sucks. but as a kid i did sometimes fantasize abt swapping lives with my classmates who#had more money than me Not even bc i wanted to live their life but just so they would like. see the apartments i lived in and see the room#i shared with both of my siblings (weeman didnt exist yet lmao) and just like. look in the fridge. bc i just rly wanted ppl to get it lol..#there was this one assignment that was like. wants vs needs and ppl kept putting needs as like. A big backyard. vacation once a year. my ow#personal bedroom etc and ik they were kids but it was like. insanely frustrating to have these kids who had like. never had to live without#Wants. yk. bc then i would just write down like. food. shelter. water. thats it lmao i even had clothes as a want instead of a need. and#they were making fun of me bc my list was so short and its like . look man i have gone without these three things on multiple occasions. yk#and now i try to be like. its good that there are ppl who have never experienced that i dont want ppl to have to experience that especially#like. that was in 4th grade lol. i was 9. i shouldnt have been worrying abt bills and stuff and none of my classmates knew anything abt tha#and thats a Good thing they shouldnt have. but theres this selfish part of me that wishes they did KANDJNS bc its so insanely isolating to#have ppl like. interrogating you abt why your shoes are so worndown or why your winter jacket is too small yk. and you cant say 'my family#cant afford better/new ones' bc they dont even understand what money is. yk. IDK. im just very sensitive abt these kinds of things KANDNW..#perhaps a bit too oversensitive at times but yk. im working on it and im working on not being spiteful abt it bc like. yes it was isolating#but it was a good thing that the kids didnt relate to it yk. kids shouldnt relate to that and i shouldnt have felt that way bc no kid shoul#im also Ik i bring it up constantly but im still so mad abt that time my friends heard me say Yeah i have to go to court against my dad nex#wednesday . and they didnt say anything and then one of them went Ughhh my dad wont buy me the newest iphone hes buying me the newest#samsung instead But i have an iphone app that i spent 50 dollars on that wont transfer !!!!!! and then she endedup getting the iphone#anyways. sry ikk its grudge and i need to let it go but im still peeved... brinn there are people that are dying .#and also now i know that like. a lot of the other kids in my class Did understand and were just like. posturing. yk. a few of those kids#were from the same neighborhood as me lmao i was just too autistic to realize we werent supposed to be honest 💀 but yes. sry for this like#manifesto i am just thinking out loud..... well not bc this is text famously a written form of communication but we all understand. anyways
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there's this one girl at work who thinks she's the Waitress Supreme literally is convinced the goddess of waitresses shat her out and stuck her in a barely-functioning pub in the arsecrack of england and today i was soooo poorly and sickly and weak and feeble literally on death's door cough coughu oug h etc and still had to do a 12-10 shift bc i need MONEY, so safe to say i was not in the mood for her omd. like this girl is not a manager. she is not even a supervisor. she is a student that, while working full-time, comes and goes in regards to her studies. so tell me WHY she tries to give me orders as if she's not only in a position to do so but also like she's singlehandedly running the fucking military. 'that cutlery hasn't been polished yet' 'why are you making drinks for the chefs when there's tables to clear' 'B2 havent had their menus'. all incredibly valid points when you give each problem at least 2 minutes to naturally resolve itself AND the problem in question is in your section AND you speak to people with a friendly, helpful tone instead of the most patronising bitchy voice you ever heard. i wanted to kill her dead i literally had to just ignore her every time she spoke to me even if it did come across rude like it was either that or lose my job to an ABH charge.
#and bc i was so ill i literally couldn't even control my face in time like normally im actually a very good actress#my skill for being a two-faced bitch is held back only by my pride and morals#so normally id find a way to politely be like 'shut the fuck up and go to your own section you're not in charge here and im HANDLING IT :)'#but today i cannot express the extent of couldn't be arsed radiating from me#had me on a 10 hour shift (6 HOURS OF WHICH WAS RUNNING FOOD) when im SICK#and im one of those people that physically im very healthy never have any problems but when i DO have problems cor blimey do i have them#so like my head was swimming had total brain fog kept getting dizzy and nauseas on top of having a stuffed nose and an awful cough#at WORK. at a WAITRESSING JOB. hell i tell you#so yeah this girl was pushing my last limit and i just knowwww i was so rude to her all day#she'd tell me to do something and id fully not even respond id just give her a LOOK#like imagine me polishing cutlery she comes over tells me to do something in my section (NOT HER BUSINESS)#and i just. pause polishing a second. look at her like she shot my dog. and then continue polishing like she never said anything#AND THAT WAS THE GOOD OUTCOME BC IF I DIDNT JUST TOTALLY BLANK HER I WOULDVE STARTED AN ARGUMENT#I WAS SO FUCKING DONE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND#like i feel like a lot of this is dumb waitressing hierarchy/social no-nos so just TRUST ME that the shit she was doing was not on#if you've ever worked the catering industry ESPECIALLY floor staff then you'll get it#like the only right you have to another staff member's section is if you outrank them#if you're just another random fucking waitress let alone a STUDENT JUST LIKE ME#LIKE SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE THE AGE ANGLE TO GET THE HIERARCHY ON ME#then literally just. shut your fucking mouth. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH ANOTHER WAITRESS'S SECTION#i have literally ignored tables before bc the waitress on section is one im iffy with and if i 'steal' her table it can genuinely#effect your social life at work#it's so fucked#so yeah i was rude and borderline mean to this girl but WHAT WAS SHE EVEN PLAYING AT TO BEGIN WITH#hella slaves to capitalism
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wait sorry give me a second in the tags
#negativity tag#← hehe. like a warning#anyways i don't know how to phrase it but like#i don't wanna say 'i feel like i never fit in' because to me that sounds dramatic and also I don't want to fit in theoretically#but like. how do i explain it!#it's not that i feel just out of place but i feel like a genuine intrusion wherever i am#online or offline.#i feel like i can't be myself im always on guard im stepping so carefully no matter where i am#i just feel like an intrusion and i constantly feel one slight mistake away from extremely horrible consequences#every time im around someone online and off line i want to apologize for ever making them exist around me#and i feel it runs deeper than just feeling unwanted i feel like genuinely. a plague i don't know#i don't knowwww i feel like im just having edgy teenager syndrome but i genuinely feel so far removed from Everyone i feel helpless#there is a wall between me and everyone i know and i don't feel like ive made it but ive no clue what to do about it#idk! hey guys i think the loneliness is getting to me again
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#hi! if you know me or know my art. do NOT tell me so ! this is my vent account where I'm Weird :]#actually npd#npd#cluster b disorder#ARUGHHH GRRRR GRRRR#they were acting so familier. I didn't like it at all I really really didnt' like it. its fine its FINE but man. did I NOT like it#disclaimer course I know know know its overly controlling weird posessive I KNOWWWW#s' why I'm NOT doing anything about it. I'm a good dog .#but yeah. this is my vent blog I can do whatever I want forever here....#I think I'm jut mad at the possibility that they'll get more people that are more important than me in their life. which I think is...#I dunno. valid that I'm feeling that way but not in an actionable way. ie.#[I am allowed to feel this. I should not Force them not to make friends.] if I want to stay a good dog.#they're cute when they're exited though so its fine#more peopel in their life more chances to prove I'm the coolest person they know#puppydraws#vent
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#point post#this is sooo random lol but deryck whibley released a book (autobiography i think?)#and i am sooooo curious to know what he wrote abt avril#i feel like there wont be much (even tho they were married and everything) but like. i wanna knowwww if we get more info abt them#ik its been a long ass time since then but they still remain my favorite relationship avril ever had#yes yes very parasocial i know
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breaking up with online friends is so weird cuz it's like. we spent over a year together and you are now a part of me. you are in the way i dress & the way i draw & i think about you when i see halloween themed desserts and when i listen to interpol and tmbg and i can count on one hand the number of times i've seen your actual face. i've never been so happy & drew so many things than when i was with you because it was all i could do for you. i memorized how to draw your ocs and it bleeds into my art every single time. what the fuck do i do when looking at the miles of art you made for me is more detrimental than comforting. you are the kindest, most giving person i have ever met. we made one wrong move and now we'll never talk again.
#we ended on a really shitty note. i can confidently say it wasn't my fault#it was over a year ago and it's like it happened yesterday#i'm not that sad about it i'm mostly frustrated and i want... stimulation. looking at their art makes me feel things#THEY made me feel things. i wanted nothing more than to just exist in a room with them forever anddddd now we don't talk#and it's the weirdest fuckin thing#we haven't blocked each other on discord cuz when you block someone it erases all of their texts so...#it's just this trust thing where we know we can't poke a finger through the fence but the holes are still there to look through#i don't fucking knowwww i'm writing this so i don't feel compelled to look at their toyhouse and see what they're up to#they have new friends. it is painful. but i can't do that to myself.#i'm only like this cuz i spent the weekend inside and i need to ride my bike. i'm like a dog i gotta be walked or i get anxious
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So unsure about my new shoes
#theyre really comfy and actually my size i even measured it against my old sneakers that i always wear & they fit#& both are the same size. still my new shoes feel very slightly loose on the back. a size smaller wouldnt fit me and is also out of stock#so i'm thinking i just need to 'break them open' like wear them in so they get softer#i havent bought new sneakers in god knows over 5 years so i dont knowwww how new ones are ok to feel like#nesi rants
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𝑪𝑰𝑮𝑨𝑹𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑺 𝑨𝑭𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑿.
♡𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒕 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕
- summary : Theo shares with you his love language while ‘after care’.
- warnings : maaaaybe slight smut??
You and Theodore Nott had been hooking up for a while now and you may or may not had been hiding some feelings from him for a quite while now. You have never really thought about having something more with him until the late night meetings had become more frequent. You had been falling into him more and more every time you had sex.
You never really thought about Theo seeing you as something more than a friend with benefit because surely he had more girls on his dick, so you started to push your feelings aside not wanting to not get your hopes up. It came to a point that it became so hard that you wanted to stop seeing him.
Little did you know Theo had been sharing a mutual feelings about your relationship…
After, what you were supposed to call ‘your last fuck’, you were both laying in his bed panting.
You sat up, wanting to reach for your undergarments to not make it any longer when suddenly you felt Theo’s soft voice.
“Can you stay for tonight, please?”
You turned to him, looking into his pleasing eyes that you just could not resist. Nodding while smiling softly, you lay back down next to him.
Theo pulled you into an embrace suddenly. Having the occasion, you snuggled up into his arms, feeling the boy’s fingers twirl a piece of your hair between them, reaching for a cigarette and a lighter with his other hand.
“What’s your love language?” - Asking barely whispering, you looked up at Theo hoping he would take the hint about your feelings because you knew neither of you wanted to end what you had.
Theo looked down at you, smirking while taking a long puff from the cig before passing it to you.
“Hmm. Pretty sure sharing and physical touch..”
You gave back him the cigarette after taking a couple of puffs and hummed.
Feeling your eyes slowly closing, the realisation hit you. :)
˚✧₊⁎・:*+.\╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
a/n : THIS IS A LITTLE BAD BECAUSE IM LITERALLY WRITING IT FOR THE SECOND TIME BC WHEN I WAS DONE AT THE FIRST MY TUMBLR CRASHED AND DELETED EVERYTHING ☹️☹️ so im sorry that it’s probably bad but i still hoped u liked it!! if u want anything like that more or have any fic ideas pls let me knowwww<333 love yall :**
#harry potter imagine#harry potter#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott#theodore nott x you#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott x slytherin!reader#fluff#theo nott#theo nott x you#theo nott x y/n#theo fluff
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College boyfriend! riki
College boyfriend! Riki x stem gf
genre : crack, fluff
summary : Riki as your college boyfriend
College boyfriend! riki who is a history major
College boyfriend! riki who was so excited to finally be able to join his hyungs in uni
College boyfriend! riki who you met in high school (self promo but classmate! riki fic is here)
College boyfriend! riki who is smitten with you his stem major gf!
College boyfriend! riki who always makes it a point to try to have breakfast together before either of y’all’s first class (GUYS ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS OKAY, I’m screaming bye, me when)
College boyfriend! riki who tries to have at least lunch, dinner or supper with you if he isn’t able to meet you for breakfast that day
College boyfriend! riki who if he isn’t able meet you that day would always try to leave things in your bag the previous day for a little surprise as he says
College boyfriend! riki whose favourite thing to leave in your bag is a cute love notes telling you how pretty you are or how smart you are and it’s because you always gets extra affectionate after you find them
College boyfriend! riki who is in the dance and baseball team (i KNOWWWW so many people would say basketball but like have u seen that vlog with him and jake, bro has a mean pitch)
College boyfriend! riki who gets extra clingy when tired he is tired (he thinks you are his battery pack, being clingy with you only recharges his energy)
College boyfriend! riki who is a very hardworking person and juggles his time well
College boyfriend! riki who loves to go on study dates with you after school (only because you make studying less tiring when you are there with him)
College boyfriend! riki who enjoys the peace and comfortable silence during these dates (also because he thinks you are really hot like REALLLY HOTTTT when you are focusing on something)
College boyfriend! riki who is elated when he found out that you want to minor in history
College boyfriend! riki who basically becomes your tutor the moment you have a history related module
College boyfriend! riki who is such a good tutor, only because of the rewards that he gets after you do well on a test (his reward being kisses LOL)
College boyfriend! riki who sits beside you during these tutoring sessions
College boyfriend! riki who has an arm around your chair
College boyfriend! riki who feels that you are too far and grabs the base of your chair to pull you closer to him (PLEASEEEEE I NEED HIM SO SO SO BAD, honestly if someone did this to me I would fold SOOO BAD)
College boyfriend! riki who gets a little all up in your face when he is trying to explain an important concept
College boyfriend! riki who does it on purpose because he wanted to see your flushed ears
College boyfriend! riki who then tucks your hair behind your ear and gives you a loud smooch on your cheek
College boyfriend! riki who can’t help but giggle when you smack his sturdy chest in shock and embarrassment
College boyfriend! riki who can’t help but look at you with a love struck expression as you clear your throat and compose yourself
College boyfriend! riki who thinks your the cutest, kindest, most gorgeous, most perfect person he’s ever met
College boyfriend! riki who just can’t help loving you more and more as the days goes by
College boyfriend! riki who always get a warm feeling, like how a hot drink feels on a freezing day every time he sees you
College boyfriend! riki who is so utterly and helpless in love with you even though you guys have been together for a while
A/n : someone save me please , I’m TEWWWWWWW DOWN BAD FOR RIKI OMFGGGG, I literally need to start dating him or else I’m going to start crying ( guys in all seriousness this is a joke🙏 para-social relationships aren’t healthy 🙏🤫) also self projecting a little because STEM IS CRAZY
#via writes 🗒️#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen niki#niki fluff#niki x reader#nishimura riki#riki fluff#riki headcanons#ni ki fluff#niki headcanons#ni ki#nishimura riki fluff
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