#I FUCKING SCREAMED “NOOOOOO” AT THIS AND MY HUSBAND WHO WORKS FROM HOME WAS SO PISSED

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

YAY IT WORKED!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!!! FUCK YOU HOOK YOU FUCKING DICK!!!@@@

First it's so happy and yay it works and rumple can find Bae and Belle is gonna wait for him.

AND NOWNITS MISRRY I KNEW HER ASS WAS TOO CLOSE TO THE LINE!!!! THE WHOLE TIME I WAS LIKE BELLE YOU'RE TOO FUCKING CLOSE TO THE LINE!!!!!!

IM SCREAMING AND SOBBING AND HOPJNG THIS GETS FIXED RIGHT THE FUCK NOW !!!!

FUCKING FIREBALL HIM RUMPLE!!!!

I HOPE WHOEVER THE FUCK THAT IS ROLLING INTO TOWN FUCKED YOU UP REAL GOOD HOOK YOU.PIEVE OF TRAHS!!!!!

[wendimydarling]

Revenge

Title: Revenge

Summary: Walter gets revenge on his wife.

Pairing: Walter Marshall x First Person Reader 

Word Count: 1918 

Warnings: Nuthin’ but floof here! Oh, and some female nudity.

A/N: This story was inspired by drunk Tumblr! and the conversation between me, @hell1129-blog​, @yoursecretsmutblog​, and @ly--canthrope​ in the comments of this post here. Enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walter closed the door to the apartment, kicking off his shoes and tugging his sweater over his head. The day had been long and arduous, as most of his days were. He was looking forward to spending the evening with his girl. Who seemingly is nowhere to be found, he thought as he glanced around.

“Babe?”

“I’m in here!” he heard her reply. It sounded like it came from the bedroom. Walter traipsed down the hall and was met with the most beautiful sight he’d ever witnessed.

There she was, his siren wife, lying naked on their bed, her body on display for him. Her soft curves never ceased to arouse him; her beauty stealing his breath away, the matted shine of her olive skin hypnotizing him. But it wasn’t just her alluring glow that made him tremble. It was the fact that she had cuffed herself to the headboard and she was grinning at him profusely, already rubbing her legs against each other in anticipation.

“I found an extra set of your handcuffs when I threw a load in the wash,” she explained, biting her lip. “I hope you don’t mind.”

It was Walter’s turn to smile. How on earth had he gotten so lucky? He stripped off his remaining shirt and straddled his tiny wife.

~~~~~~~~

I’ve had such a bad day. I can’t wait to get home to you.

The text message had seared my heart. I swore to myself I’d make his day better somehow, so when I found his handcuffs while going through the laundry, an idea immediately came to mind. I hurried quickly through the chore and headed to the bedroom to get ready. Walter would be home soon.

Once I was satisfied with my hair and touched up my makeup, I made my way to the bed, hurriedly slipping out of my work clothes. I laid down and hooked one wrist with the cuffs, relishing the way the cold metal felt against my flushed skin. We’d used them before, and I would never tire of the solid, relaxing sensation that flooded my body the moment I was restrained. My lady bits were already dripping, and Walter wasn’t even home yet.

Or maybe he was. I heard his boots thud outside the front door so I hastily put my arms above my head and connected the other wrist in the cuffs, trapping myself. I didn’t have a key; the only way out now was Walter. I slunk down a little so that I was nice and stretched, feeling grounded and excited for what was in store.

“Babe?”

“I’m in here!” I called out to him, unable to keep myself from grinning as I pictured his reaction. I wasn’t disappointed; the look on his face as his jaw dropped three inches was worth everything. My pussy throbbed at how dark his eyes grew, and I pressed my legs together, fending her off.

“I found an extra set of your handcuffs when I threw a load in the wash,” I teased, biting my lip as I watched my husband swallow thickly. ‘I hope you don’t mind.”

Walter smiled slowly and I shivered as he took off his shirt, allowing me to see every muscle in that thick chest of his as he came over to the bed and climbed on top of my small frame. He grabbed a pillow and tucked it under my back before pressing his weight on my thighs and I was at once unable to move, my entire upper body deliciously arched and at his mercy. 

He leaned onto his elbows, his face hovering over me as his fingers brushed over my breasts. I squirmed a little, the light touch tickling softly. His smirk had taken on an evil hue and I gulped, suddenly uncertain about my life choices this evening.

“Do you remember,” He started, tracing circles around my nipples, “The surprise party you threw me for my birthday?”

Oh shit.

I tugged on the handcuffs at once, but I couldn’t move an inch. I looked into my husband’s eyes, pleading with him.

“Walter no, no no no this is not what I had in mind, don’t do this!”

“Do you remember the slideshow?” he asked, his fingers traveling up to my armpits, hovering over the exposed skin. 

“Walter pleeeease!”

“Do you remember how I said you’d pay for it?”

All I could do was whimper, squirming ineffectively underneath his large frame. 

“Welcome to my revenge, Sweetheart… thank you so much for offering it to me.”

“No Walter--fuck!!!” I squealed as his fingers started to dance over my sensitive hollows. He knows that it’s my worst place and Detective Marshall is a methodical man; he took care to tickle every exposed nerve beneath my arms. I laughed loudly, my inability to protect myself only further heightening the sensation as he tortured me freely.

I watched him through my laughter; his face was covered in joy, and I realized he was truly enjoying this. Whatever bad things had happened today, my suffering was erasing them from his mind. I figured I could take being tickled for a while, if only to see that happiness never leave my husband. 

Then again, maybe not. He switched from spidering to poking and I screamed, arching my back even further into the tickles. That seemed like the opposite of how I should have been responding, but my body was reacting of its own accord at this point.

“WALTER PLEASE!!! No mooohohore!!!”

He just shook his head, chuckling at my feeble attempt to beg. 

“You really think, after you embarrassed me with all those childhood photos, that I’m going to let you go after only five minutes? No my love, get comfortable. I’m going to tickle you all night.”

“NOOOOOO!” I wailed, the fingers switching tactics again. This time he was digging, and I was barely able to catch a breath before another long batch of laughter ripped through me. Walter sat up, and I knew what was coming next. I squirmed helplessly as the rest of my naked torso was exposed to his nimble fingers.

“Don’t you dare,” I warned futilely. 

“You’re not really in a position to be making demands,” he quipped, running those stupidly talented fingers up and down my sides. I kicked my legs futilely, or at least I tried to. I was unable to protect a single inch of my sensitive skin as ticklish sensations swarmed my body. Walter was laughing with me, egged on by my cries for him to stop. 

He finally settled on my ribs and my laughter hit a new peak as he began to vibrate his fingertips against each one. Digging in with fervor, my husband set out to discover every new place within my bones that would cause the loudest response. 

Just when I thought I couldn’t take another second Walter paused, spreading his large hands across my entire abdomen. I gasped for air, staring at his stupid grin as I pleaded with him for mercy.

“No more Walter, please… I can’t take it, I’m gonna die!”

“It’s just a little tickling,” he chided, grazing his fingertips over my belly to keep me tense. “So long as I let you breathe you won’t die. You’ll just wish you had.”

“Walteeeeeheher…” My moan turned into a chuckle as his fingers started to pick up the pace, spidering softly all over the sensitive flesh of my torso. I clacked the cuffs hard against the headboard, the only movement I was capable of to express my frustration. Walter just laughed and attacked my sides once more, causing me to scream anew. 

“Shhhh,” he warned me, “You’re going to make the neighbors think I’m murdering you.” 

“YOU ARE!!!!” I shot back, twisting the little I could to evade his attack. I lost that battle in less than a second, and my screams grew louder as he dipped a finger into my belly button. He clapped a hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. I saw an idea spring to life on his face as I laughed into his hand, and I watched in horror as he slowly lowered his head. 

I tried to bite him, tried to shake him off, but nothing I did could stop his descent toward my torso. Walter’s lips hovered an inch from my navel and he looked up at me as I glared at him, those icy blue eyes boring wickedly into my soul as he dramatically took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the hell that was about to ensue. 

Walter blew a raspberry straight into my core and suddenly the world ceased to exist. The only thing that existed was tickles. He blew raspberry after raspberry all over my sensitive belly, scrubbing his beard against my skin each time he took a breath. His hands returned to scrabbling rapidly over my armpits and I absolutely howled, tears rolling down my face as I could to do nothing but lay there and take it. 

“I’M SORRY!!!! I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY!!!” I screamed, face flushed red and desperate. Walter stopped tickling again and returned to his position of lying on top of me, his fingertips walking slowly up and down my armpits. It kept me giggling, but it was bearable.

“Sorry for what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For embarrassing you at the pa-HAR-ty,” I exclaimed.

“Good. Now admit you like this.”

“What the fuck, no I don’t!”

Walter just smiled knowingly.

“I could smell it halfway through, love… you’re soaked. Admit it, you got turned on by a little tickling.”

I shook my head. He wasn’t wrong, but I’d be damned if I gave him an excuse to do this again. Walter sighed.

“Alright, well I guess I’ll just have to keep tickling until you see reason.”

He started wiggling his fingers again and I gave in at once.

“NO NO NO OKAY! I’ll admit it I--” I swallowed thickly, sighing in defeat. “--I liked being tickled.”

“Well if you like it, I guess that’s no reason for me to stop,” Walter mused, reinstating his assault under my arms. I squealed.

“Oh god, Walter PLEASE STOP!” I begged, my lungs burning with the effort to breathe. He ran his hands up my arms, squeezing them gently as he kissed me. I moaned into his mouth, all at once ravenous to be taken. His lips found their way to my neck and I gasped, desire searing its way into my loins. I pulled at the cuffs, wanting to touch my husband and frustrated beyond words that I couldn’t. It seemed so unfair, seeing as though his hands were roaming my body freely. 

“Walter,” I groaned, writhing underneath his touch. “Please uncuff me.”

“No,” he mumbled against my collarbone, slipping his fingers into the slick between my legs.

“I intend to fuck you, just like this. And when I’m done,” Walter looked into my eyes with the most serious expression I’d ever seen, except for a tiny glint of humor in his eyes. The slightest smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, one that made me shiver, and not in a good way. I knew that look. He leaned over and whispered in my ear the worst words I had ever heard in my life.

“When I’m done, I’m going to tickle you. All. Over. Again.”

I vowed then and there to hide any and all handcuffs that ever made their way into our apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin bosses I would or would not date

The Last Giant

Listen… The Last Giant has No Face. I like dating people who have faces. Also, his arms detach and he’s like, at least 10 meters taller than me, so I think that would be a hazard. I think he’s more in need of a friend than a romantic partner. I’d gladly sit down with him and discuss his feelings, but we are not meant to date.

The Pursuer

The Pursuer is great because he’s just so… Rotund. He’s shaped like a friend. Or maybe… More than a friend… He’s got a biggass sword that glows blue, which is great if you need to get up at night to get water or a snack, and a big shield he can use to protect you from the hot Drangleic sun when you’re on a date. You never have to worry about losing him because HE WILL FIND YOU. I think he’s a catch.

Dragonrider

He almost didn’t make it in the list of bosses I would date, but encountering him so often made me have a soft spot for him. Plus he’s a little bit round and I’ve gotta say. Rotundness is where it’s at. He’s fun to fight so I feel like you could have some fun jousts together and then chill… And go, like, I don’t know, ride dragons*? Fun couple activities.

*although dragonrider is his name I’m not sure we saw any dragonrider ride a dragon so this is a shot in the dark

Old Dragonslayer

The Old Dragonslayer has a very sexy armor, I’ll give him that, but he 1. Has a furry mask (a terrible fashion faux pas that I cannot forgive) 2. Is just sitting in the Cathedral of Blue while a DRAGON is outside, unslayed, which says something about the quality of his work. I had to kill the dragon myself, while the Old Dragonslayer was sitting around… Being old, I guess. Not for me.

Flexile Sentry

DISGUSTING AND WRONG.

Ruin Sentinel

The Ruin Sentinels are arguably the sexiest armor bosses in all of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin. Something about these long lads and their eldritch identities and behaviors just tickles me the right way. The shape of their helmets looks a little bit like a turtle which gives them just enough cuteness while not taking away from the fact that I’m absolutely terrified of them and that they are in fact very scary (which is good). They’re also very tall which means they can carry me around and make me feel tall too. Definitely a good thing in a partner.

Belfry Gargoyles

I wouldn’t date the Belfry Gargoyles, but I’d be friends with them. I feel like they’d be fun at a sleepover. Girl’s night! Girl’s night!

Lost Sinner

I’d date the Lost Sinner. It might be a little bit controversial because yes she is a little bit nasty, I’m aware of that, but I think she just needs a little bit of company. I don’t want to change her, I love her right like she is, but if she wants me to teach her how to shower, I might just do it! I am a little bit biased because she’s got a big sword that looks really cool? Perhaps.

Executioner’s Chariot

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Skeleton Lords

I think the Skeleton Lords are neat but I don’t really see myself dating them. Firstly, I’m not a skeleton fucker, so that puts a little bit of distance between us (given that they are in fact skeletons). They also have an army of skeleton children, which I’m just not ready to raise. I’m trying to find a date, not to become a skeleton mom. I feel like we’d be great friends though, I’d probably invite them over so they can practice their standup routine at my house while they leave their 30 skeletons children with the babysitter and we can like drink wine or something.

Covetous Demon

I would not date the Covetous Demon, but I would keep him as a mean dog in my yard to discourage my enemies from entering my property.

Baneful Queen Mytha

I’d be all here for the sniddies if Mytha kept her head on her neck but alas she is headless. 

Smelter Demon

Mh… Yes. He’s big and large and he’s got horns. He could put me up on his shoulder and walk around and I’d be warm up there. Sounds like nothing but a good time.

Old Iron King

Ngghghhh….. I wanna say no but he is Ripped… Absolutely jacked! I’m also a hoe for horns and wings! What can I say. Call me out if I ever make fun of scalies again? (im gonna do that like in a few paragraphs anyway)

Scorpioness Najka

Given the fact that her own fiancé, made miserable by her, asks you to murder her, I don’t think Najka is a fine romantic partner. In addition to that, even though I was here for sniddies, scorpions are scary and gross me out, so no, I would not date Scorpioness Najka.

The Duke’s Dear Freja

She’ll remain dear to the Duke only and she is NOT invited in my yard.

Royal Rat Authority

Wouldn’t date the big rat that makes all of the rules, but similarly to the Covetous Demon, having him on my property to scare people away would be pretty neat.

Prowling Magus and The Congregation

Prowling Magus has a SICK aesthetic I can absolutely get behind (« look at my cool sorcerer boyfriend wearing his goat helmet ») and I’ve stated before I Am a Hoe for horns so we could have something going on.

The Congregation is however BANNED from this house so since they’re probably his buddies that would most likely be a point of tension. Ultimately it might be better for me to keep a platonic relationship with Prowling Magus, as I do not want hollows to crawl on my floor when he invites his friends over.

The Rotten

Oh no lol

Looking Glass Knight

NNNYES absolutely I would date the Looking Glass Knight. He’s not only really cool looking and a Very Dramatic Man (standing in the rain when you meet him… the scenery… the atmosphere… he knows how to make an entrance), but he’d also be a great person to bring with you for a night out.

Exhibit A: he’s really fucking tall and scary which would dissuade anyone from approaching you uninvited

Exhibit B : he carries a FULL BODY mirror around everywhere which means you can fix your hair and/or makeup at any time without needing a shitty pocket mirror or going to the bathroom

Exhibit C : if you need help he can summon a limitless amount of people through his mirror

Just a great partner all around.

Demon of Song

Ohhhhhh noooooo Lord nooooooooooooooo please! Please spare me

Velstadt, the Royal Aegis

Velstadt is very loyal (a real man for following Vendrick all the way to the Undead Crypt) and he’s also very tall, very large, very strong, and very stylish (see the scales cape he wears). I would’ve put him at the top of the date list, but he’s no dating material — he’s husband material. A little downside is that he might put his job before me but I get it. It’s career before everything. I will not limit my husband’s ambitions.

King Vendrick

Vendrick is taken by an eldritch entity and still very much in love with her despite the fact that she destroyed his kingdom and brought the entire civilization down and also caused him to become a war criminal and kill a pacific race of giants all on his own like a big boy so I’m not very interested in him.

Guardian Dragon & Ancient Dragon

I’m putting them together because they essentially boil down to the same thing : I’d offer them a home but I wouldn’t date them. The Guardian Dragon can stay outside and be feral with everyone else that I put in the yard, while the Ancient Dragon can have his own room and like is invited for tea sometimes, but that’s all.

Giant Lord

See Last Giant

Throne Defender & Watcher

I’m a little bit torn on this one because I’m experiencing bisexual panic. We’ve got cool large dude with a beard ; cool slender lady that jumps around everywhere ; they could both beat me up and they both look hot, help me. However, I have to say if I had to pick I’d got with the Throne Watcher because she is hot and looks slightly cooler. I’ve always wanted a very tall wife who could suplex me into the sun, which she could do in a heartbeat.

On the other hand, they do look like a power couple that I’d love to have for dinner and I’d hate to break them up while there are so many fish in the sea and they look so great with each other.

Nashandra

Human Nashandra looks pretty and soft, however anyone who witnessed my first blind playthrough of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin will tell you that she did not have me fooled and I was very wary of her from the beginning. Anyone who has witnessed my first fight with her looking very skeletal will also tell you that I screamed « WHAT IS THAT » for at least 5 minutes, so that probably gives you an idea of if I’d date her or not.

Also, her weapon of choice is a scythe, which looks cool, but is very unpractical, and just for this fatal mistake, she becomes undatable.

Darklurker

Wings… Four arms = twice the hugs… Cool hood… Yes…

Elana the Squalid Queen

She’s nasty and told me I was undeserving of the mire, which is pretty mean of her. Even if she thinks it, she could at least be nice about it. I would not date her.

Sinh the Slumbering Dragon

Sinh is BANNED from this house because he’s not just feral, he’s RABID and POISONOUS and if I let him live in the yard he could poison my entire property and I do not want that.

Fume Knight

Alas! The Fume Knight looks really cool and has a pretty sexy armor, but tales say that he was infatuated with another woman (whether he met her when she was already an Ashen Idol or not remains a mystery but I’m no one to judge his taste in women). I respect people’s crushes so I will let him be in love with whoever he fancies and they may come over for dinner, as long as they behave.

Aava, Lud and Zallen, the King’s pet

They are very welcome to live in the yard. They may come inside the house, but they are not allowed on the couch.

Burnt Ivory King

No… He loved his wife very much… I’d invite them over for dinner and MAYBE try to seduce one of his knights (they have sexy armors, what can I say).

Aldia, Scholar of the First Sin

Aldia is a weird dude and I wouldn’t feel safe around him. I think he’d probably kidnap me while I’m asleep and go do some experiments on me in his cursed mansion. It’s a no from me chief. Not to mention the fact that he’s a… tree?

Afflicted Graverobber, Ancient Soldier Varg, and Cerah the Old Explorer

I wouldn’t date them, even though their armors are pretty sexy, simply because they seem like a good group of friends and I wouldn’t feel comfortable inserting myself in the group. I think I’d even be too shy to befriend them, but if they wanna come by my house and have a good time, they’re welcome to do so.

Blue Smelter Demon

See Smelter Demon, but with more vigor because this one is blue.

Sir Alonne

Yeah… he’s got the eldritch factor that I like in the Ruin Sentinels while also seeming more human and he’s also a pretty stylish man. I feel like he’s one of the strongest contestants in the game and he wouldn’t mind my long nose, as he’s got one himself. Pretty sexy armor and he is a man of honor. Definitely a yes.

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[buddietomytarlos]

9-1-1 S5 Ep10 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Praying for another (variation of) “you two have an adorable son” this ep 😭

- THIIS MAN HAVING TWO FAMILIES wow what a jackass but also not him running likee he just stole something important like bro it ain’t that serious?? Why are the wives turning on EACH OTHER when he’s the one in the wrong?

- HE BROKE BOTH ANKLES?! OH MY GOD EW NOOOOOO 

Rest of thoughts under cut to keep the tag clean :)

- Eddie giving in to Christopher is just so funny like he just laughs and then is like “okay… you’er serious.”

- “I just want everything to be perfect” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- “Is it gonna explode?” “Only if you cook it.”

- No but Eddie and Carla’s chemistry (PLATONIC) is so entertaining it’s why their scenes are so fun to watch. 

- I NEVER WANNA HEAR CHRISTOPHER SCREAM AGAIN THE WAY MY HEART FUCKING DROPPED INTO HELL MY GOD. He had a nightmare about his mom 🥺😭

- AHH TAYLOR! jump scare!!

- Buck in his lil Christmas hat again ☺️☺️☺️

- “real pressure cooker” Buck only thinking that because he doesn’t know what to get Taylor… UNLESS IT’S MORE THAN THAT 😜 but no really all you gotta do is ask………………..???????

- Now it takes the women to realize that their husband is the bad guy and not them???

- Bigamy Is illegal? I mean understandable but that sucks for poly couples :( But it’s not even like the worst thing you could do so why is it illegal?

- their gc name is “a murder of bitches” okay who came up with that? What a weird inside joke… he really set her up to be able to ask him out and she didn’t take it…??? Shit rip Melia

- Go off on him cap!!

- But Bobby and Athena and the 118 are like your second family 🥺😭

- “You could be dead next year” OH MY FUCKING GOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭

- That cut from Eddie’s sentence IMMEDIATELY after he finished speaking was so weird what the hell was that…

- So when will that old woman actually have an emergency in this ep?

- Athena and Bobby moving their Christmas party to the home for the people who had to move from their home last night 🥺🥺🥺 

- THE OLD WOMAN’S DAUGHTER IS ONE OF THE WOMEN FROM THE BEGINNING OMG but also she was right about not liking her husband… but also why is he there after what he did

- Buck got her a bracelet though how cute! But no matter how cute you try to make them look, It’s not going to work because you refuse to explore Buddie… like putting Buck with someone else just seems like a disservice and doesn’t work after all the build up and teasing for Buddie.

- IS EDDIE GONNA LEAVE THE 118? Parallel to when Buck tried to leave? please? :(((( we have to wait until March oh my godddd 😭😭

[princessofthedarkrealm]

Stroke of Midnight- Chapter 20 (Pennywise x reader)

“I can’t believe they saw us like that.”

“Kitten, please stop blaming yourself.”

Roman’s cheek was smashed up against your temple and yours was against your pillow, so both of your voices came out muffled. You and Roman were laying in your bed in the dark. It was hard to believe that just hours before the two of you had been sharing intimacies in your kitchen when your world had come crashing down.

“People without children should be able to have sex in their home without worrying about other people’s children walking in on them.”

Roman lifted his head. “There. You see? Not your fault. Now please stop worrying.” He pushed on your shoulder and got you to lay on your back so that you could see his face. “Please. You just got out the hospital. I don’t need you worrying yourself sick about something that you have no control over. Especially something that was not your fault.”

“He really needs to go, Roman. I don’t mean something bad needs to happen to him, I just want him out of our lives.” You rubbed Roman’s arm.

He brushed your hair off your temple. “I know, kitten. We’re gonna take care of that. I promise.”

You rolled over on your side, your back up against his chest. Roman put his arms around you and held you close. “Please try to get some sleep,” he said against your ear.

“I will.” You nestled into your pillow and closed your eyes.

~~~~~

Roman sat up with a jolt. Fear. Lots of Fear. That’s what he felt. Next to him, his mate squirmed and moaned as though caught up into a nightmare. He put a hand on her shoulder. It felt cool to the touch. Roman froze. She should not have felt like that. He shook her gently. Called her name. She didn’t respond. If she was caught in a nightmare, it was one that Roman would not be able to free her from.

Not until the Turtle was ready for her to leave it.

“No. No! Don’t you fucking do this to her!” Roman hollered. He started shaking her.

“Y/N! Y/N, wake up!”

The last time something like this had happened to her, even the doctors at the hospital had trouble getting her to respond.

He brushed her hair back from her temple. “Hold on, baby. You can fight this. You’re strong, you can fight it.”

She started whimpering. Several seconds later, the screaming started.

~~~~~

You took the bottle of formula out of the microwave. This was the second kind of formula you had had to try. The pediatrician had told you that Eleanor was just colicky, but you knew otherwise. She was the daughter of Pennywise after all. You shook the bottle up and put a couple of drops on your wrist. Just right. You took off down the hall towards your infant daughter’s room.

“Elie-bell, I sure hope you like this new formula. Next is the more expensive stuff,” you called out even though you knew she couldn’t answer you. Your baby was going to be gifted, but not that gifted.

Suddenly the hallway stretched out in front of you. You stopped. Eleanor started crying loudly. You started walking down the hall. It stretched longer.

“What the…”

Eleanor started wailing. You ran. The hallway stretched some more and you ran faster, your heart pounding now. Finally you got to her room. You threw open the door.

Eleanor wasn’t wailing anymore. Pennywise was standing in front of her crib.  The room was dark, but the corner of the room where the crib was was lit up with a sickly orange light. Pennywise turned. His mouth and chin were covered in blood. Blood was splattered on the front of his costume as well.

“Such a tasty treat you’ve given me, kitten. Maybe we can work on you giving me another one.”

A sick feeling filled your stomach. “What…?” You glanced at the crib. There were blood splatters near the top of it. “No.”

Pennywise started laughing maniacally.

You started panicking. There was no way this was happening. Pennywise had killed his baby, your baby. And from the looks of it, he had done more than that.

“No. No.” You started wailing. “Noooooo!”

The scream was ripped from your throat before you could even wake up. You quickly sat up in bed, still screaming. “NO! NO!” Your screams turned to wailing and you covered your face with your hands. “Noooo!”

Roman put his hand on your arm. “Y/N, what happened? Please tell me what’s wrong.”

You removed your hands. Tears of despair and hysteria streamed down your face. “You ate our baby! You. Ate. Our. BABY!!!!”

~~~~~

Roman slowly pulled his hand away. She knew. His wife, the only human he actually gave a damn about, knew his darkest secret. And there was no turning back. He climbed out of bed, his eyes never leaving her. She rocked back and forth, her head bent forward, hands on her temples. She wailed like a banshee. Roman didn’t know what to do. But he at least knew he couldn’t stand to see her like this.

He went to the little night stand that the phone was sitting on. There was an address book sitting on the bottom shelf. He grabbed it and started rifling through the pages. She had to have the phone numbers to her family somewhere. He found the Denbroughs’ number. He probably should have called her mother, but he knew that her Aunt and uncle lived closer. He picked up the phone and dialed the number. He glanced behind him. Y/N was sitting with her knees drawn up and her hands and chin resting on them. Her eyes were wide and staring at nothing and she still sobbed loudly.

The phone rang a few times, then a sleepy female voice came over the phone. “Hello?”

“Susan, it’s Roman. I’m with Y/N right now. I don’t know what happened, but she just woke up. She’s screaming and crying and I don’t know what to do. She won’t calm down.”

“Oh no. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Try talking to her until I get there.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Thank you.” Roman hung up the phone. He went around the bed to her side.

“Y/N. What’s wrong? Talk to me, please. I know you saw something and apparently it’s scaring the hell out of you.” He placed one of his large hands over hers. She pulled away.

The fear. It burned like acid in his mouth.

He could almost see it palpable in front of him, a dark, grayish mist threatening to surround and devour Y/N. Anger started to course through Roman’s human veins. There was only room for one monster in his beloved’s life. “I cannot help you if I do not understand.” He spoke to her gently and made no attempt to touch her again. “I know you’re scared and I know it has something to do with Pennywise. But this is me you are talking to. Roman. Your husband who has always been here for you every time, no matter what.” Her crying subsided a bit. Roman breathed a sigh of relief. “I was...fixing some formula for Eleanor.” Her beautiful voice was quivering. “Eleanor?” Y/N nodded. A smile played at Roman’s lips at the sound of his daughter’s name. “That’s beautiful.” “I was going to her room and... she started crying...and screaming.” Fresh tears fell down Y/N’s face. “I opened the door. Pennywise was in there. He was by her crib.” She was talking faster and louder now. “He turned around and he had blood all over him.” She put her face in her hands and bawled. “Tell me you’re not gonna hurt our baby.” If Pennywise had been capable of feeling the depth of any true human emotion, the heart that was beating in his chest as part of the human guise he wore would have broken. He climbed in bed and pulled his beloved against him. To both his surprise and relief, she let him.

~~~~~

You buried your face against Roman’s chest and poured your heart out through your tears.  For the first time in the past two months, you were truly afraid. Afraid for you and Pennywise’s future, and for the unborn child growing inside you. You didn’t know if the dream you’d had had been just a dream born from your fears or if it had been a premonition.

You were so scared, your stomach was starting to hurt. In fact it was really starting to hurt.

“Ow.” You pulled away from Roman and placed your hand on your belly.

“What’s wrong?”

You didn’t answer him, but instead rubbed your stomach. A deep pain made you hunch over.

“Ow, ow, ow.”

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you hurting?” Roman asked in an urgent voice.

“My stomach. It hurts bad.”

Roman started rubbing your back. “Hold on. We’re gonna get help soon.”

A door slammed. “Y/N?” a voice called out.

“In here,” Roman hollered.

You shot Roman a confused look. “You called someone?”

“Yes.”

Aunt Susan came in. “Y/N? Oh, honey, what’s wrong?”

Just seeing your aunt made you start crying all over again. “I had a nightmare and I woke up. And now my stomach hurts really bad.”

You knew how childish you sounded, but right now you didn’t care. The last few days had been very emotional for you and you had finally reached your breaking point.

Susan sat on the bed. “Oh no. Do you think it was something you ate?”

“No.” Your stomach was starting to cramp from the insistent pain.

“Have you been under a lot of stress?”

“Somewhat.” You blew a breath out through your mouth. If only you knew, you thought.

“Maybe we should get her to a hospital,” Roman insisted.

You were starting to feel weak and lightheaded. You started to lean forward.

“Y/N?” Susan put her hand on your arm.

You didn’t answer her. You didn’t have the strength to.

“I’m going to take her to the hospital. Roman, do you think you can carry her?”

Susan picked up her purse, which she had placed next to you on the bed. Roman came around to your side of the bed. He pulled back the covers and put his arms under your legs and behind your back. You let out a whimpering moan when he lifted you. The pain was so bad all you could do was focus on breathing.

“I got you, kitten,” he whispered in your ear. “I won’t let go.”

You leaned your head against his chest. As much as you loved Roman and as shaken as you still were from your vivid, disturbing nightmare, you missed Pennywise. Fresh tears started to leak down your cheeks.

~~~~~

He had only held her once before. Her body had been broken then. Now it was her spirit. Her fear was so strong it was almost choking him. It took all Roman had not to go full clown and teleport her to his lair right there, but he fought it. He fought it for her and for their unborn daughter that was now struggling for life inside of his mate’s belly. They made it out of the house after Susan grabbed Y/N’s keys and locked up. Roman slowed as Susan went around to the driver’s side to unlock the doors. He bent to Y/N’s ear. “I know you’re hurting. I know you’re scared. I can feel it. But someone else can too. You need to be strong. For Eleanor. You need to talk to her, Y/N.” “How...” Y/N whimpered. “Just talk to her. Please. In your mind. See her like you did in the tower.” Susan unlocked the doors. “Just talk to her.” Roman hurried around and Susan opened the back door so that he could put Y/N in. Roman climbed in next to her. She was still whimpering, but at least the hard crying had died down. He wanted so badly to put her to sleep, but he wanted her to be awake to talk to the doctor. He put his arm around her and held her close all the way to the hospital.

**********

You couldn’t believe you were back in the hospital again... on the same day you’d left. You had finally managed to get your stomach under control, although some nausea still lingered. It had not been a fun trip. Right after you had gotten to the emergency room, you had thrown up. Luckily Roman has set you down in time, but you felt sorry for the poor janitors. You laid in bed with your eyes closed and rubbed your stomach. Roman sat in a chair next to the bed and Susan sat on the little couch. You wanted so badly to tell her about Eleanor— that was what you had decided to call your unborn daughter— but didn’t want to stress your aunt out. And you still were not ready for your mom to know yet. You were just about to doze off when the door open. A tall, broad shouldered man in scrubs and a white overcoat with salt and pepper hair came in. He smiled at you and you gave him a weak smile in return. “Good evening. I’m Dr. Gabaldon.” Aunt Susan stood and shook his hand. You closed your eyes and let yourself relax.

~~~~

Roman watched Y/N’s eyes close and sighed in relief. At least she was at peace now. Susan was explaining to the doctor about Y/N’s pain. Then Roman took over and told him everything from the beginning, about Y/N’s bout of hysteria and how her stomach had started hurting shortly after. The doctor set down his clipboard and went over to Y/N. “I think she’s asleep,” said Roman. The doctor started pressing on her abdomen. Roman’s jaw clenched. He knew the doctor was just trying to examine her, but Roman still couldn’t help feeling protective of his wife and mate. “I don’t feel anything suspicious,” Dr. Gabaldon said after a minute of poking and prodding. “Now before I continue, are any of you aware of her condition?” He picked up his clipboard and started writing something down. “Her condition?” Susan asked in a concerned voice. Dr. Gabaldon turned around. “Her pregnancy.”

~~~~~

Your eyes flew open. You really were pregnant. You didn’t know why you were in shock. Pennywise had helped you confirm it, but hearing it out of a doctor’s mouth, a man of medicine and science, made it more real than anything.

“Pregnancy?” Aunt Susan turned towards you, her mouth hanging open. “Honey, you didn’t tell me you were pregnant.”

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. The clown was out of the sewer now. Now your mom would know. And Bill. What would he think of you?

“We just found out this morning,” Roman said. “I think she’s still in shock.”

You brought a hand up to your temple. “I didn’t want anyone to know yet.” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“Are you still in pain?” Dr. Gabaldon asked.

You shook your head. You actually weren’t in pain anymore, and it was freaking you out. If Eleanor really was that strong this early on, when she was just a couple weeks conceived, that meant she took more after her father—she was whatever kind of being he was.

You had an alien growing inside you.

@hoe-for-daddywise  @fuck-the-clown  @honk-honk-bitches  @dallonweaksme  @wtf-it  @messoria109  @sassageflair  @cassidy-157  @ichigokage  @bubblymusiclover13  @leauvel  @skaravile  @ladydragonpurplefire  @syynnaah  @darkandtwistyxox  @clownsandredballons  @theloriequeen  @rougxlips  @sihakrios28  @floatingwithpennywise  @lesteefightme  @penny-trash @guttinqteeth  @booklover2929  @red-balloons-and-popcorn  @unidash  @bill-istvan  @smileysam13579  @daddywiseskarsgard  @dirtydaddywiseslut  @moonlighthope7  @apileofhappytrash