#I FEEL LOVED /p
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HI KADEN I SAW UR NAME AND BECAME OVERWHELMED WITH PLATONIC LOVE FOR U ILY!! :3
HI NIIIICK
ASKSJSODJDODJD W-WHA- THIS IS SO DAMN NICE HULLO!? YOU'RE TOO SWEET!!!!! AHHHHHH ILU TOOOOOO!!!!! /p please imagine me giving the top of your head a little friendly smorch MUAH luv u my fren!!!
#SOBBING#I FEEL LOVED /p#😭😭😭😭💜💜💜💜#I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER HAD A FREN CRASH MY INBOX TO TELL ME THEY LOVE ME BEFORE. THIS IS SO NICEEEEEEEE#nick 🎮
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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flowers i've seen this spring :-)
#i actuaally feel like it's sad to remove them from their context/background but unfortunately i love to use the photoshop eraser tool#feel free to use#p#mine
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horrifying email to get at 2 am btw
#not sure if i believe it but if it still was a horrible experience#i was like awww#someone left a comment?#i love those#only to open this#and have my stomach drop#i feel sick ive been sick all day i dont need this#wtf does this even mean#okay im freaking out as you can tell#i need sleep#satth#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#phil lester#daniel howell#dnp tit#d&p#dip and pip#amazingphil#dnptit
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choose your protag..... YOU COULD WRITE A SUPER LONG META ESSAY COMPARING/CONTRASTING THESE 2 BUT I WANTED TO MAKE A SHITPOST FORGIVE ME🤧✌️
#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#yu junghyeok#twsb#jung yeseo#cedric riester#jesse venetiaan#omniscient reader's viewpoint#when the third wheel strikes back#섭남파업#my art#this is just. a shitpost so its a huge simplification OFC but i rly love how diff they feel as protags... they are.... sooooo diff🤧#i rly need to read the orv novel so i can pick dokja's brain fully#but he's definitely. wayyyy more emotionally repressed than yeseo orz#he's a rly interesting chara...#everyone should read both of these methinks#IM IN NO POSITION TO TALK THO I PROMISE ILL READ ORV THIS YR#AND GET CAUGHT UP W TWSB#ok can i say im p proud of these doodles#i didnt have pose or clothing folds ref but they turned out ok??#i did take a pic of my hand for dokja's ✌️#but yeseo's hands i winged it.... it looks passable tho😳#ok i stayed up way later than planned its 6:30am oops#YESEOS CROISSANT TURNED OUT CUTE TOO#i rly wanted to draw him eating a croissant... finally happened to do it lol#O BTW FORGOT TO MENTION THIS IS MY V FIRST TIME DRAWING KDJ!!!!#IVE NEVER DRAWN HIM BEFORE DKFBDMFBD#IT TURNED OUT P CUTE THO????#shitpost
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It has been raining a lot recently...
#she feels the rain after 100 years...#i miss her#just wanted to draw Zelda :p that's only one reasom#my art#fan art#botw#princess zelda#breath of the wild#zelda#botw zelda#animation#i love rain#raining#sun shower!!
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THOUGHT GAINED: INFERNAL ENGINES
PROBLEM
The world is ending. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the dealer knows it, the jailer knows it, the king and all his men know it. All one has to do is look around to see it— the future is curdling into something pale and incorporeal. The infernal machine that is this stupid world is going to blow, sooner rather than later. So what are you doing? Why are you still here? Why is anyone still here?
SOLUTION
You are doing the only thing worth doing. You are living. *Why,* you ask? Try and remember now. Remember your mother’s hand on your shoulder. Remember the taste of a fresh catch. Remember the times when you were kind to the dogs in the valley and they did not bare their teeth. Remember the weight of a child on your shoulders. Remember the stars throwing their light against the wall of sodium and smog. Remember singing until your throat was raw. Remember crying just as loudly and publicly, and the gentleness with which someone opened your curled fist and pressed a handkerchief into your palm. Crying, laughing, running, eating, screaming, haunting, loving, fighting, fighting, fighting. The fight fuels you, and you fuel the fight. You run yourself ragged just for a chance to keep running. You never stop. You cannot stop. The world depends on it. *You* are the infernal engine. You are the world. And, simply put: you want to live.
#disco elysium#thought cabinet#suicide tw#smth a little different#this is actually smth i would like to include in a full length one shot#but i think it’s gonna get edited p heavily for the fic this is just a first pass at it#but. i like this draft of it and i want to archive it#feels like me and all my loved ones have death on their minds most of the time lately…#reminding myself that keeping myself and all the ppl i care about on this earth is what everything is about#always and forever
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sterma never dies
#jerma985 fanart#jerma985#sterma#sterlovesfood#jerma fanart#jerma#queue are lovely#behold the art where I merged two different streams on accident#idk. also adding a rlly old bad doodle of them from their old vlogs LOL bc I feel more comfy here than twt 😋 c:#*NOT R/p/eff btw. sterma in a NORMAL way#he was so pink in that video#I think I drew it like. a year ago😭#in 90 degree weather indoors. and more I repeat the cycle with catboyster… woaw#in 80 something degree weather. I NEED AC
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alright guys come get your food
zoned out and finished an old sketch in one sitting cuz i missed drawing him :(((( also felt bad for not posting anything lol :']
anyway i'mmm alive!!!! and my life is back to being prettty stable!!!!!! yippee!!!!!
#creepypasta#creepypasta fanart#creepypasta art#eyeless jack#eyeless jack fanart#creepypasta ej#i love him alot#he's my wife. even.#this honestly suckss but i don't feel like waisting more time on polishing it :P#whatevs man i just wanted to draw jackie again :3
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I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM
Evil!Sun my beloved (Edit// This Evil!Sun is from TSAMS and is not an AU of mine guys)
Bonus doodle
#NO NO LISTEN#I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN EVIL SUN DIMENSION FOR SO LONG#AND YOU BET I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW YESTERDAYS UPLOAD#AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND#alright i'm calming down now#I am totally normal about him guys haha (lie)#I really like the fact that he was actually like#really smart#maybe even smarter than moon#and I love how he just#doesn't give a shit#at all#euuuugh#he <3#/p#Honestly seemed more morally gray than evil if anything#and i feel like moon just kinda#started throwing insults at him#at random#like i'll be honest some of the things he called him didn't really make sense to me#but hey maybe that's just me#oh god this is getting kinda long uhm#wooly draws stuff#tsams#the sun and moon show#tsams spoilers#tsams sun#tsams evil sun#sundrop#wooly's stupid brainrot
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Hii! Can you do ghoap x reader fluff? Like cuddles with mild flirting (from soap, obviously) and like soap is the little spoon, because in return he gets head scratches in return, reader in the middle, and Simon as the big spoon just pressing his face into the crook of readers neck?
Would rlly apreciate it <3
-🌑
i loved this idea when i read it and then proceeded to take far too long to actually answer it lmao BUT!! here it is,, ghoap x fem!reader fluff - ty for the request 💓
you picked up the cheap jar of pasta sauce and compared it to the branded version stacked next to it. as far as you could tell, the ingredients were the same and the little veg chunks included weren’t any smaller.
you nodded to yourself. it was decided, you weren’t paying two quid extra just for a name, fuck dolmio.
you looked higher to the top shelf and frowned when you saw the pasta had been pushed away from the edge and you’d be unable to reach it on your own.
“need a hand, dove?”
you turned to see a handsome man with a mohawk beelining towards you, his eyes tracing your frame with hot familiarity. without waiting for your response, he bullied his way into your space to reach over you for the pasta. barely stepping back, he handed you the pack and looked you up and down.
“thanks, stranger,” you said, holding back a laugh at his amused smile. you saw the moment he decided to play along.
“pretty skirt,” he said and nodded down to your bare legs peeking out beneath the denim.
“hm, my boyfriend got me it,” you said, a little teasingly.
“oh? and this boyfriend, he’s left ye all alone to do the shoppin’ has he?”
“no, he’ll be back soon. and he’s kinda protective, won’t be happy seeing me talking to other guys,” you said trying not to smile.
“ah’m no’ scared,” he scoffed, his own smile breaking out as he looked around the aisle eagerly for the aforementioned boyfriend.
“i don’t know, he’s pretty big and strong, wears a scary mask,” you said.
“aye? reminds me o’ my boyfriend,” he said and you finally giggled, leaning in to kiss him and giving up playing pretend.
“dove, they got their tiger bread in stock again,” simon said as he rounded the corner of the aisle and interrupting your kiss. “i ha’n’t ‘ad this in ages.” simon barely paused at the unexpected appearance of johnny, his eyes turning up in the corners as he smiled under his mask. “johnny, look, tiger bread.”
“yeah, i seen, si,” johnny said fondly, crowding you back against the trolley. “only getting the one loaf?”
simon paused. “hm. you’re right.”
you snorted as he dropped the bread into the trolley before heading back to the bakery section and leaving the pair of you alone again.
“work was a fookin’ drag, dove, cannae stand all this paperwork they’re keepin’ me busy with,” johnny groaned into your temple. you petted his arm consolingly before turning back to your list and shopping trolley.
“you were injured less than a month back, john, you can’t have been expecting to be back in the field so soon?” you hummed as you continued shopping with johnny leant over your back.
his silence spoke volumes.
you shook your head as you made your way through the store and waved simon over as you passed him by, hoping he hadn’t harassed the bakery staff into making more tiger loaves last minute for him. the absolute fiend.
“wha’s wrong with him?” simon asked as he got back, hands full as he nodded to johnny’s slumped frame. you refrained from asking simon if you really needed three tiger breads and instead nudged your other boyfriend up from your shoulder.
“he’s bored,” you said easily, grinning when johnny pulled back properly to send you a betrayed look.
“fuck’s sake. c’mere,” simon huffed before dipping down to kiss him, chuffing a laugh as johnny sputtered at the woollen texture of the mask in between them. “you’ll be back in no time. just behave or it’ll be longer.”
“ye sound like cap,” johnny grimaced. he wiped a hand down his tired face. “when are we goin’ home, hm? fuckin’ knackered, could do with a nap before dinner.”
“y’drive ‘ere?” ghost asked while you grabbed a box of eggs, checking for any cracked inside.
“aye.”
“then you can leave whenever,” ghost said flatly, though the glint of his eyes in the overhead lights betrayed his amusement at johnny’s plight.
johnny pouted.
“yer cruel, si. tell him, dove, he’s heartless,” johnny bemoaned dramatically.
“you’re cruel and heartless, simon, would you prefer strawberry jam or raspberry for a change?”
“could be a treat,” ghost conceded.
johnny groaned at the both of you, pinching your hip when you laughed.
“you both know i cannae sleep without someone’s arms around me,” he huffed, turning his big puppy eyes on you both.
you caved immediately.
“aw poor baby,” you cooed, biting your lip when you saw simon roll his eyes. “let’s get this done quick then, yeah? go grab the burgers we like from the frozen section and that ice cream we got a couple weeks back.”
“yes, ma’am.” johnny jogged off.
“si, can i trust you not to make your way back to the bakery if i give you a list of items to grab?”
“no,” he admitted without shame. “i saw the lad in the back prepping more for tomorrow, think i could convince ‘im to cook ‘em now for me if given the time.”
“right. hand holding it is as we find the toiletries then. ‘s like herding cats with you two.”
simon hummed, his eyes trained on the section you knew the bakery to be hidden in.
—
once home, johnny packed away the majority of your shopping in record time, snatching the jam from simon’s hands and almost throwing it onto the work top before plying his mask up one handed and dragging him down into a rough kiss with the other. you watched, amused, with raised eyebrows as johnny dragged him back towards the bedroom desperately, waving a hand at you and gasping out a needy, “dove, c’mon, stop fucking around,” in between wet kisses.
you didn’t need to be told twice before attaching your hands onto simon’s thick waist from behind, guiding them from bumping into any furniture or walls as they stumbled blind to the bedroom.
johnny pulled back with a dopey smile and pushed simon none too gently onto the bed. you took advantage of his lowered height and pulled off his mask completely, rubbing a gentle hand over his buzz cut hair and down to his jaw. you leant in for a soft peck before feeling johnny’s hands and arms wrap around your soft stomach.
he clung to you, nuzzling at your cheek over your shoulder until you turned in his arms to share your attention.
you heard the bed creak as simon settled further up the bed as johnny kissed you. you shuffled back, parting from johnny just long enough to get your bearings and climb onto the bed, simon’s hands moving to guide you back as johnny hummed against your lips.
you flopped back into simon’s arms, got comfortable as he wrapped you up and held you tight against him.
johnny sighed in relief at the sight and shuffled down so he could rest his head on your chest.
you gathered him close and laughed when he started whining when your hands stayed on his shoulders.
“so needy johnny, have you ever heard the phrase ‘patience is a virtue’?” you teased as you started to run your nails through his hair, lightly scratching until he sighed and dropped his body weight against you and simon.
“too t’red,” he mumbled.
simon lifted his warm hand from your hip and draped it heavily over the back of johnny’s neck, keeping him close. soon enough, the scot was snoring.
you tried not to laugh, your chest bouncing johnny with your muffled chuckles. “i think that might be a record.”
“tired lamb,” simon said condescendingly, but he rubbed his thumb lovingly over the soft skin behind johnny’s ear.
“don’t be mean.” you grinned back at him.
simon hummed and rested his head into the crook of your neck, tucking you in closer with the arm still wrapped underneath your waist. “not bein’ mean.”
he nipped at your neck, a soft nibble that had you gasping and clenching your thick thighs around the one johnny had slipped inbetween.
“prick,” you huffed without malice when he stopped and let out a long tired breath in your ear. he hummed with closed eyes, clearly not listening.
you chuffed a laugh into johnny’s hair. the low thrum of arousal simon had brought on was easy enough to ignore but you’d have rather he’d finished what he started. instead, you tucked your cold toes between his large calves behind you in penance and tugged johnny even closer, enough to smother him. with your arse perched perfectly in simon’s lap and johnny nestled close to his second favourite place on your body, you were sure they’d give you what you were after once their nap is over. you closed your eyes with a smile; you could wait for them to get their energy up, and you loved your puppy piles just as much as they did.
#idk if you wanted fem or gn reader but i went fem in the end bc it was easier to write :p#sorry if you wanted gn!! feel free to put in another request for it and ill get started lmao#i hope you like it!!#i know this is a little bit of a toe dip into smut and not just 100% soft pg fluff but i couldn’t help it#stellewrites asks#sorry but i had tiger bread for the first time in 2 years the other day and it changed my life#forgot how much i love that stuff#AND cheesy jalepeno bread OOO i need to get that again too#so basically put that into ghost here lmao ahdkajdjajsj#ghoap x reader#ghoap#ghost x reader#ghost x soap x reader#ghost x reader x soap#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader x johnny mactavish#johnny soap mactavish x reader#i’ve got a petty hatred for branded stuff vs aldi’s own like the price difference is crazy but they’re exactly the same!!!#so that also jumped out at the start of this lmao
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I totally get why the arc wasn't longer with this shortened season but! Something I really loved about today's storyline with Hen (and most of her storylines tbh) and hope continues with all the characters was showing how multiple things can be true at once.
Chimney did say that he should administer care, and the guy did refuse care. Hen did clock pretty immediately that he was drunk/high, but he also very much was obviously not in his right mind and didn't understand what he was refusing - and yes, he was being a dick, but yes, it's also concerning for first responders to immediately write someone off, and you deserve full and proper care regardless of who you are or if you're in the wrong. Reviews are needed to determine what happened, and the guys should be allowed to be honest, but there is a different level of scrutiny tossed at her as a Black woman in this situation that Bobby wouldn't get, and she's fair in feeling like they were throwing her under the bus. Hen was correct in her assessment of him and she did get defensive very quickly, and she recognizes both.
All of these things can be true at once (and expanding it into fandom even - we can love Hen and be happy she was right but also have critique about what happened and point out issues with care in the same way that we point out incompetent policing in the show!) and I wish it was longer to really delve into it, but I love that we got to see that a bit, and Aisha especially plays those nuances so well.
#911 spoilers#911 abc#hen wilson#janie overthinks media#i so wish this was a season long arc but it feels p concluded and asdjfkl like i get it lolol#but i love stuff like this
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This is so special 🤍
#he’s gonna continue watching over her and their kids from above#both will - their families will never be alone#and i like to think they’ve seen the vigils and can feel the love from all of us#they see us & they’re sending that love right back 🤍#johnny gaudreau#matthew gaudreau#calgary flames#columbus blue jackets#*p
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On break..
#im on a roll tpday i love you johto#pokemon#art tag#gym leader koga#champion lance#wait kogas e4#elite four koga#elite four bruno#elite four karen#elite four will#hgss#lance is getting constant texts from silver asking to battle and for battling tips hehe#and sometimes random insults#karen is kind of silly to me. i think as an e4 member she makes sure she looks composed and cool but she actually p laidback#and i see will as the youngest + less experienced and is salty abt it. and feels like he needs to prove himself#he doesnt hes already part of the e4 everyone knows hes strong but he wants to anyway#and burnos also silly. rage manjū#im devolving into headcanons im gonna post this before i get carried away
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There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺
#listen im only in episode two and i know there's some drama going down but im focusing on this lol#i love that not only do they show the angel using a wheelchair and being ambulatory#but they also visibly show them miracling innaccessibility issues so that they Can still use the chair#instead of just getting rid of the disability#part of my is conflicted bc im like... there's disabilities in heaven? and that makes Me sad bc my disability is hell and painful as fuck#But getting rid of disability in fantasy is eugenist crap and showing that god made a disabled angel is a net good thing#while it personally makes me sad to think if there was a heaven i could still be in pain all the time#not all disabilites are bad and need to be cured we're a wide spectrum and we've been fighting for disabled rep esp in fantasy for ages#it's objectively good my personal feelings about my own disability aside#part of me thinks it's cliche to say 'you were made perfect' bc they're an angel But it's not we literally havent had this type of rep lol#anyways it made me happy to see#and im so glad it's a power chair user that's ambulatory it's important for abled ppl to see that#anyways y'all keep your drama and spoilers off my post im not far in and im only talking about this shoo#oh also!! love the fantasy hover chair they use in heaven specifically too i wish we had that it kicks ass#p
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No one talks enough about how different each Austen book is. the vibes are insanely specific and distinct every time.
#I love them all and sometimes simply for my own headspace I gotta stay in P&P#but they’re all so distinct#jane austen#like the vibes in Mansfield (book of all time) —-it’s insane that the same author wrote pride and prejudice#light and bright and sparkling it is not!!!!!! the love story is so different the WORLD is so different#if you love the feeling of P&P there’s no other book that’s going to do it you gotta read that one#and it’s not a flaw she was just doing something else
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