#I ENDED UP RAMBLING MORE THAN I MEANT TO INSTEAD OF WRITING ........ how many times has this happened /nm

[entitled-fangirl]

A brilliant melody.

Cregan Stark x quiet!reader

Summary: Cregan marries a woman who never speaks. When she finally does, he feels his heart melt three times over.

Warnings: SMUT (p in v), talk of abuse, tears

A/n: I've been wanting some kind of cool transitions for my writing. Like instead of the "...", some people have really cool art there. Does anyone know how to do that? I hope that makes sense 😬

Masterlist

..................................................

She was quiet. 

Being surrounded by the loud men of the north made her a quiet girl.

Cregan wasn't sure what to do with her. 

…

"You're a meek thing, aren't you?" Cregan asked as the two walked the courtyard of Winterfell.

In one day, they'd be wed. Bonded for life.

She only nodded.

She only ever really nodded or shook her head. 

He hummed as they continued walking. 

Her father had told Cregan of this days before, as if it was a defect that could put a halt to their betrothal plans. Cregan made sure to assure her father that it was not.

After all, she could speak. She just chose not to.

"Winterfell is beautiful in the winter," he began to ramble. "When the snow falls, it covers all of this in its brilliant white. Do you enjoy the snow?"

She considered his question and gave a small nod.

He grinned, "That's my northern girl. Luckily, Winterfell is warm." He noticed the light shiver in her frame. "Perhaps we should go back indoors. Don't want my future bride to freeze before I can place my house cloak upon her shoulders?"

…

True to his word, Cregan managed to place his cloak over her shoulders the very next day. It was a wondrous ceremony filled with many from across the North. 

Everyone gawked at the beauty of the new Lady of Winterfell.

But when one-by-one they moved to speak to her, Cregan was quick to deny them.

The two enjoyed the feast after. Seated at a high table, Cregan often leaned over to whisper things to her.

"You look radiant. Like the sun itself."

"I do believe the other lords may be envious that I have captured the most gorgeous woman of Westeros."

"I do wish you'd eat more. You've hardly touched the plate."

It was a strange sight, seeing such a burly brute of a man whisper sweetly to his wife.

"Is something bothering you?"

She shook her head.

Cregan sighed. "I've only known you for a few days, but I do believe I recognize the shaking of one's hands to associate with nerves."

It was true. Her hands shook violently.

"Is it the bedding ceremony?"

She shrugged.

His brows raised and he leaned closer, "You can be honest with me. I… I want you to be honest with me."

The woman looked down at her hands in thought. Finally, she looked back up at him and nodded.

"Aye. I see." Cregan leaned away and rested his elbows on the table, his head in his hands as he rubbed at his forehead. "Then I'll call it off."

He didn't miss the way her brows pulled together.

"The ceremony, lovely. I'll call it off." 

…

Not long after, Cregan stood and held his hand out to her. "May I dance with you, dear wife?"

She grabbed his hand with enthusiasm. It seemed she didn't need words, for expressions were enough.

He smiled at her as he lead her to the dance floor. 

Cregan was a lousy dancer. Being a northern lord meant there were many more important matters than learning how to properly dance. So, it was put aside. 

He knew the steps in truth, and he could lead just fine, his steps were just too harsh, his movements too calculated. 

It was just not how he expressed himself.

She, though, was marvelous.

It was as if each step was not one of a practiced art. It was as if it was how she naturally moved. 

Cregan was in so much awe that he nearly forgot to continue the lead. 

She didn't need words to express herself. Her movements were enough.

He felt as if he was finally seeing her. 

And she was beautiful.

The song ended, to Cregan's surprise as he snapped from his thoughts, and the guests clapped for their Lord and Lady of Winterfell.

…

Honoring his word, Cregan forbade the ceremony. No other living creature would be a witness to their consummation but the two of them.

After laying her upon the rich furs upon their bed, he was careful to properly prepare her to take him. 

Now, he forced himself to do so slowly, his hips slowly pushed to meet hers as he entered her.

She hissed lightly at the pain, and he swore he heard a small noise come from her throat instinctually.

He began to wonder what her voice sounded like.

Once seated in her fully, he paused to give her a moment to breathe. Her breath was quickened and her hands gripped his biceps as she tried to regain herself.

Cregan placed a light kiss to her lips, basking in the newness of her lips against his, as well as the eagerness she gave back as they did so.

Her hands slid up to cup his cheeks, suddenly gaining confidence.

"Have you adjusted, pretty girl?"

He shifted his hips, not thinking much as he waited for her response.

The sweetest breathy moan left her lips.

Cregan's eyes widened, and he had to stop himself from letting his lust take over then and there.

He tucked his face into her neck, laying heavy kisses along the way. "Easy now. Just tap me to stop."

And with that, he began to move his hips.

Not much came from her lips. She was used to not using her voice, that it almost seemed as if it was more work to use it then stay silent. It was hard for Cregan to tell her feelings, so he often had to tilt his head back up to gauge her reaction by her expressions alone.

He didn't realize how much he spoke in general until he was around her. How someone could happily be so silent, he wasn't sure.

But if the scratching against his back was any measure, he'd say he was pleasing her well.

"You're taking me so pretty."

She practically preened at his praise, her breath catching or escaping each time.

At one point, he pressed his hips firmly to hers, reaching deeper than he had before.

His face found its way to her neck again, her hands pulling at his hair.

But he paused, catching his breath and trying to instill a reaction from her.

Her hands recaptured his hair and pulled again. When he still didn't move, she tried to shift her hips to gain more friction. He was enjoying every second, despite the mere torture it was to not chase his own high.

He pressed a sloppy kiss to her neck, "Patience."

Her motions should have been enough of a reaction for him, but he wanted more. He'd do anything to hear her voice more. 

One of his hands moved down to her clit, pressing his thumb down and circling the bundle of nerves. 

A small whine came from her throat.

He felt warmth spread across his body, "Needy, aren't you?"

Her hand made a last-ditch effort to pull at his hair. He could hear her barely contained breath in his ear and a small voice.

"…Cregan… please…"

Cregan almost finished then.

Her voice was so soft. So sweet. Hoarse from its lack of use and so breathy. 

It was beautiful.

But guilt overshadowed all of that. He shouldn't have pushed her to the point of speaking. 

His hand trailed up her body to the bed, preparing himself again. "I won't deny you any longer. I'll give you what you want, sweet girl."

…

She began to speak to him after that. 

The times were few and far between, but nonetheless, he never took a single word for granted. 

Because she only spoke to him. 

 She never spoke her mind in full, so Cregan took it upon himself to do it for her. 

In meetings, she'd pull at his sleeve, prompting him to instinctually bend his head down towards her to properly hear her soft voice amongst the others. That was how she contributed to meetings: to tell her thoughts to the only one there she trusted. Over time, the men in the meetings caught on, and would pause to hear what the Lady had to say. It was a game of telephone, barely hearing a peep from the woman as she spoke to Cregan, and he voiced it aloud in his own manner. 

When they walked through the busy streets of the city, he kept his hand wrapped around hers, promising to give his attention to her when she squeezed it tightly.

Outside of their chambers, their form of communication was touch, often tapping one another gently. 

Inside, however, soft exchanges were common. She would only speak calculated thoughts, not one to ramble, but she would talk of her day, her newest book, or questions of things she always wondered about the man. 

In turn, he'd respond in the same manner, quieting himself naturally to match her tone as the two gazed into the flames of the fire that warmed the room.

"I wish you'd dance more."

Her head snapped up to him with furrowed brows.

"You're a beautiful dancer. I only wish I could see it more." He leaned against the back of the sofa. "Who taught you?"

"My mother," she spoke softly. "She was wonderful."

He smiled when he noticed the reminiscent look in her eyes at the thought of her mother. He pushed a strand of her hair from her face. "Tell me about her."

She leaned into his touch. "Father mocked me when I wouldn't speak. Said it was shameful. But mother always told me that feelings are expressed by actions rather than words."

"How so?" He absentmindedly asked.

"Men often say that they love their wives, but their actions are rather the opposite."

He hummed as he considered it. "Have I ever made you feel that way?"

"No."

It was the quickest response he'd heard from her. It only fueled his need to know as much as he could. To know her fully.

"Have you always been so quiet?"

As if a switch had been flipped, everything about her quieted.

Her breathing. Her voice. Her expressions. Her thoughts.

Silent. 

Whatever had happened had to have been traumatic to instill such a reaction from her.

"Forgive me. That was too forward, even for me to ask-"

"-I don't wish to talk about it today."

He felt relieved that his question hadn't dissolved her trust in him completely. 

"Well," he pulled her to him. "When you are ready to speak, I shall listen."

…

The next day, Cregan meticulously planned. And his efforts had paid off. 

She walked into the meeting room at the same time she did every week, to see it lacking its usual members. 

The table was pushed off to the side, and Cregan stood in its place as he donned a bright smile at the sight of her. 

Against the back wall, a few musicians stood with their instruments. 

Confusion spread through her and a wave of anxiety as well, prompting her to only stare at him blankly.

He was quick to correct it, stepping forward towards her. "I've excused the council today. I… I wanted to see you dance again."

Once her mind warmed up to the idea, a bright smile came across her face, accepting the hand that he extended to her. 

"I must admit, my love," Cregan said as he stepped in time with the music. "I am not a gentle man. But I am trying. For you."

She nodded, not daring to speak her overwhelming thoughts at the moment. 

…

After, they sat at the large dining table, the emptiness of it mattering not to the two lovers who sat together at one end.

"My uncle," she stated, breaking the silence.

His head tilted up to meet her gaze, "Hmm?"

Her cheeks turned a slight pink, "You asked how I became so quiet." 

Recognition flowed over his face, "Ah. Yes, I did." He sipped his wine and leaned towards her. "Your uncle, then?"

She nodded. 

"He was unkind to you?"

She picked at the skin of her fingers, seemingly reliving the moments in her mind. 

A battle within herself.

He put a hand on her thigh, "I will not force you to tell me things you do not wish to."

"I do," she insisted. "But I know not how to."

"Begin to speak, and I shall piece it all together."

She took a deep breath. "My uncle hit me when I spoke out of turn. At first, at least. Then… it was whenever I spoke at all."

He felt ice go down his veins and a feeling like a rock going down his throat. 

But being such a skittish thing, he knew not to react too harshly.

"When I told my father, he…" her eyes became glassy. "He said he was right for it. That… that a girl was made to only… shut her mouth and open her legs."

He couldn't keep it in anymore. "And you believed them?"

"When I spoke to you for the first time, I feared you'd be the same."

"I bask in the sound of your voice, my girl. I hope that you see that."

A warm tear ran down her cheek as she looked up at him.

"Oh, sweet woman," he cooed as he cupped her cheek. "Do not cry over false words."

When more tears began to fall, he quickly pushed her chair out from the table and pulled her into his lap.

She tucked her face into his neck, melting against him as if she wished to disappear. 

He held her close, not caring when his tunic became damp. When he did speak, it was soft and assuring whispers.

Once she caught her breath, she pulled away from him. "Forgive me."

"I don't believe I will."

Her eyes widened, and he realized his mistake in word choice. 

"Sweet girl, you've nothing to apologize for. That's all I meant."

She relaxed at that. She reached up and wiped her cheeks with a sniffle. "Actions have always spoke more than words."

He reached up and brushed a stray tear from her cheek. "Have they?" He asked softly.

She felt a smile come to her lips at his touch. "You are different. You could speak or act, and still, I'd only hear a brilliant melody to which I can always trust."

He never felt such love radiate as it did then.

.......................................

Taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia

[leahsgf]

Looove Lucy taking care of reader.

Could I have more? Maybe Lucy is the worried older sister who makes sure reader doesn't get separated from the group when they go out, or that she ends up spending her money on too many sweets. Thanks <3

REINS - lucy bronze

lucy bronze x sister!reader

pure fluff about lucy being an overprotective older sister to you

her role as your big sister was one that lucy arguably took the most pride in out of all of her duties in her life - and that had always been the case, even back in the days when she was a teenager, and would often forgo going out with her friends in order to play and spend time with you.

even when it meant clinging onto the reins that were attached to your backpack to prevent you from running off for dear life in worry as you toddled around giggling - finding it hilarious.

the pair of you had always been inseparable, and all you had ever wanted to be was like her, having decided the instant you were able to grasp the concept of her job - that you were going to be a footballer too.

so that’s exactly what you did, and lucy’s protectiveness over you only increased as you did so, especially when you received your first call up to the lionesses alongside her.

you were more than a decade younger than her, freshly faced and new to every part of what you were experiencing - being the youngest on the squad by a considerable amount, meaning that lucy worried about you constantly, even more than usual, and watched over you like a hawk.

-

a team day out exploring the city in a country you’d never been to before had the older girl as pale as a sheet just thinking about all of the different possibilities.

“stay with me - or one of the girls at all time, okay? please be careful. if anyone, and i mean anyone tries anything or makes you uncomfortable in any way you need to tell me immediately. this is a new place to us all so just be extra war-” you cut off her rambling before she talked herself to death, playfully rolling your eyes, insides secretly warming at how much she cared for you.

“luce, it’s okay. i know. i won’t wander off. i’m a big girl”

“okay.” she breathes, giving up on the remainder of her speech, instead settling for “i just remember you being so tiny you could fit in one of my hands like it was yesterday, and i just want you to be safe.”

“i promise. i’ll be fine.” you linked pinkies with her, knowing you’d be glued to her side regardless.

“don’t make me get the reins back out. i remember how much of a menace you were, running off all over the place!”

she pointed at you warningly, and if it weren’t for the stern expression across her features you would’ve laughed.

“that was when i was three!”

“i’m just saying! the threat remains!”

-

no matter how old you got, or how far you progressed in your career, lucy still would refuse to let you pay for anything, slipping you money with a wink and a finger held to her lips, like you were six again and giggling behind your parents back.

“you’re my baby sister, don’t be silly. absolutely not.” she would insist, playfully slapping your hand away as you reached for your purse, sticking a pile of notes or in its place.

“make sure you don’t spend it all at once, kay? i expect to see some change when you come out!” she called after you as you were pulled into the sweet shop by ella and alessia, who’s playful grins told lucy that she’d be very unlikely to see you return with any money to spare.

not that it mattered in the slightest really, she just loved teasing you and treasured looking after you, not quite ready to give it up, it being one of her favourite parts of her life, even when you were nearing being an adult yourself.

-

tried to fit in everything that you requested! thank you for it i enjoyed writing it - and happy new year!

not proof read so i apologise if there’s any mistakes

[itsblasttothepast]

To my fellow Chequistas/Checolovers: you are all amazing, and I know this has hit us hard, unexpected (even when we felt it was leading this way) and poorly handled by a team that doesn't care about their drivers.

Checo looks at peace, happy and relaxed. He is different than when he lost his seat in Racing Point, perhaps because this time it was his decision, and this has been cooking for a long time. Remember when we said Checo had been more outspoken about the team's issues with the car and the failures? When he yelled at Bird? When he marked the mistakes over the radio? Checo knew he had to make a choice for himself, instead of just staying and being miserable.

I'm happy he decided to put himself first this time, and even when there's the possibility of retirement after this, I feel he wants to retire in his own terms and with a different taste than this 2024 left.

So if you need time to regroup, to feel better and assimilate this, we are going to be here for you. If you decide you had enough and move on to other things/fandoms, that's okay too, and if you want to come back we are here with open arms. We are a supportive community, Checo has taught us the importance of being positive, never give up and keep our dreams.

For my part, I'll keep posting Checo things, updating about his social media things, and making joked about the drivers. I'll still ship Chestappen, Chewis and Hulkenrez, and I hope the authors who write amazing fics about them continue, because they're amazing and your stories cheer me up a lot.

Also I met amazing people here, and I want to continue with the conspiracy theories with my buddy @simplywrong, and having tag conversations with @your-ace-cousin-clover; I want to see @selfishpresley's posts about Checo's dick and headcanons of how to get it, and @baby-alien11 and @kirasworldofwords posts about different opinions regarding everything F1 related; I want to keep exchanging fanfic ideas (particularly Chewis) with @wishfuldivine, and seeing the Strollonso content @aston14s and Lance content @11nevergiveup11 post with some Checo appearances; I want to read @lunarprophetuwu posts about the importance of mental health and ending stereotypes, and @cherriebbyyyy posts about Carlos (I'm becoming a fan). I want to understand @vegasgrandprix Checo posts and puns, as sometimes I get lost, but it's so much fun! and see the wonderful pictures @bluebirdy04, @coffee-bulls, @rojasnn post, and exchanging opinions in spanish with @yolixpan. Seeing the amazing fanart @saicoon shares, and the sense of humor of @luna-sibuna-trying (your posts/reblogs, even when they're not F1 related, cheer me up).

And to those who are new and feel you missed the best Checo era, don't worry about it, the best is yet to come, and in the meanwhile, the Chequitas/Checolovers community will keep the Checo fever, because he's not meant to be forgotten, even the haters keep barking even when he's out of RBR.

This post is to thank you all for your amazing impact in my journey here in tumblr, I have so many people to mention, but I'm getting a little emotional and I'll ramble as usual. You made being a Checo/F1 fan a fun and wonderful thing, and I hope we can continue despite of people celebrating Checo's leaving, well, guess what? The fans stay and will continue loving him.

To those who stay, see you in the dash/inbox and messages. Those who leave temporarily, take as much time as you need and we'll be here when you come back. To those who decide to move on, I wish you the best in your journey and if you want to come back someday, we are a tag away!

Baby model Checo for all of you!

¡Gracias por estar!

[aingeal98]

Hi, so I was reading some of your Stephanie Brown meta & kudos, serious props yours is excellent. I also noticed you seem to be among those who picked up on the worrying undercurrent of Stephanie's relationships with older men. So double kudos for that.

Especially as its one of those things that tends to get glossed over in fandom & I am unsure at times if some writers even grasped what they were doing. Though that may say more about how girls tend to be treated/viewed as adults rather than children, teenagers or victims, save when its convenient to judge them as such.

Sorry not sure where I am going with this, but I think your stance it from that "Five ships that won't happen" section of the Steph ask as well thought out and covered a lot, so third kudos just for tackling that heavy topic so deftly and efficiently.

Ah thank you! Stephanie's relationship with men is so fascinating to me because she's been hurt so many times and the dissonance between her canon and fanon versions are pretty grim yet interesting. Like in early canon she was the Faith to Ariana's Buffy, the Veronica to the Bettys that were Tim's other love interests at the time. And various writers had various ideas about why she was the way she was, a common theme being that she had difficult relationships with the men in her life and had been hurt in the past. Be it a villain, a friend of her fathers, Cluemaster himself, or a shitty clearly too old guy named Dean. I don't think it was meant to be a pattern, more likely just individual ideas about trauma Steph suffered in her past that ended up turning into a consistent trait.

So you've got an abusive father, at least two cases of SA that I can remember (her babysitter and Black Mask), a pregnancy with clear subtext that the father was older than her, and the general way Batman treats her.

Not to mention she was a minor when all this happened. Like Steph has so many issues that she deserves the chance to unpack but instead they've just kind of... softened her down. Like her Batgirl run was the first chance she'd gotten to be the actual hero instead of The Girl in a story written by sexists, and she deserved every second of that. There had been too much injustice done to her character and her Batgirl run did a good job at setting the baseline for giving her a decent narrative. But afterwards, the New 52 could have delved more into her psyche instead of leaning into her waffles and sparkles fanon characterization. But because the New 52 is the worst, it didn't. And now here we are.

It's one of the reasons I'd really love to write a story about Steph realising she's bisexual, because I think in some ways her view of men are due to feeling trapped by heterosexuality and the patriarchal society. It's hard to explain fully without going into a whole other meta but the way she reacts to Tim showing her bare minimum decency is heartbreaking. Like yes men are awful and have been awful to her but she still likes them, she's going to settle down and marry one eventually right? She just has to find the right one, and Tim didn't treat her like complete garbage so he might be it for her!

And then for her to realise that no, she doesn't. She can marry a man if she wants to but if she wants romance there's also women... I really think bi Steph could be so much more than a simple "Oh hey I like girls now cool lol." Like it would shake a significant amount of the misogyny she's internalised and directed towards herself, it could alter the view she's taken of the world, and it would allow her to see her past trauma through a different lens, maybe with less subconscious self hatred.

Sorry this turned into a giant ramble haha, but thank you for the ask!

[emptymasks]

i've had constant aus and self-insert stories spinning around in my head for the past two months that i've been back into spn for, but i wasn't planning on doing anything more with them until i was browsing the fanart tags and discovered so many cool artists on here have been making spn ocs? it just never occurred to me that there would be any, let alone multiple, and to especially see ones being queer and trans made me really happy to see. so i took one of the too many different plots i'd been rotating in my head and made a little character out of it.

august north. he was killed by a demon when he was 26. his body was experimented on with the intent of creating an alternate long lasting vessel for lucifer. but a small amount of lucifer's grace bonded to august's body, reviving him as something not human, but not an angel. he meets the winchesters during season 4 of the show. he has some powers due to the archangel grace in him (healing factor, telekinesis) but it is not to the level of an archangel's power, possibly similar to regular angel's power or a bit less. he is a suitable alternate vessel for lucifer, if he were to say yes lucifer wouldn't burn through him like he does with nick. if lucifer's grace were to be removed from august's body then august would die, it is keeping him alive. the scar on his chest is from where lucifer's grace entered his body.

because of the whole 'boy with the devil's grace label' he ends up bonding a lot with sam, the two of them both being tied to lucifer through no choice of their own, and them both experiencing distrust and disgust from others because of this.

i really don't want any comments telling me that's not how angel grace works, i just liked the idea and it's my self-indulgent au. and august is entirely here for me to ship with lucifer so if that idea or lucifer in general makes you uncomfortable please just scroll on and don't judge me. i can't help falling back in love with this terrible archangel. i actually made a couple shrines on my website for sam and lucifer and boy i ended up writing way more about why i like them than i thought i would. the tldr is that i find things to relate to with lucifer in terms of the whole being cast out, family issues, being the black sheep of the family etc. and i find him fascinating, especially season 5 lucifer.

i'm not 100% sure on the storyline for august and lucifer, but lucifer does want to seek august out, partially because he's disgusted at a human having any of his grace, and partially because since sam is so hesitant to say yes it's nice for him to have this other option. i can imagine him visiting august in his dreams like he did with sam, trying to convince/manipulate him into saying yes, august not being bothered by his presence and instead feels drawn to him and ends up spending these dreams asking lucifer questions, and while lucifer is still trying to manipulate august into saying yes... he is lonely and this dead-alive human-angel boy is looking at him without disgust, isn't flinching when he touches him and he hasn't had anyone react like this to him in a long time and while he won't admit it a part of him is visiting august so often because out of all these hairless apes, this one isn't awful.

wow i wrote so much more than i meant too, oops. i guess that's good though, been a long while since i had an oc ramble this long.

[ID: a digital sketch page of my supernatural oc 'august north'. there's a half-body and full body drawing, with text around them. some of the text on the image i've already repeated in the text under the post but the rest reads: august north, supernatural oc, the boy with the devil's grace, pronouns: he/him, gender: trans man, height: 5'8", orientation: omnisexual, demisexual, demiromantic, nationality: english, occupation: hunter. august has pale brown curly hair that comes down to his collarbone in length, with a grey streak at the front right. he has two little braids going in front of each ear. in the half-body he's wearing a black coat, black long-sleeved shirt, a red bandana tied around his neck, white feather dangling earrings. in teh fullbody he's wearing black pants, black boots with spats over the top that look like little corsets, red with gold ribbon to lace them over the boots, a shirt button up that's unbuttoned and opened revealing the star shaped scar in between his pectorals from where lucifer's grace entered his body. he has two moles on his face, one under the outer corner of his right eye, one above the left side of his lip. his eyes are a blue-ish grey.

[boasamishipper]

tagged by @film-in-my-soul and @icemankazansky - thanks guys!! ❤️❤️❤️

Everyone deserves to toot their own horn and be proud of their work! So, this tag game is fairly simple.

Promote 5 works that you're really proud of and share a little about why you're so proud of them! Then tag as many people as you like. You can reblog this post and add on to it (why not create a giant reclist to throw around?) or steal this header (and border if you like) and make your own post.

tagging @bornforastorm @lookforanewangle @apartmentsmoke @maverickcalf @saltyfilmmajor @hacash @academicgangster @onekisstotakewithme and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it

Make A Wrong One Right

Top Gun, Iceman Kazansky/Maverick Mitchell, Goose Bradshaw & Maverick Mitchell

Maverick makes a wish and wakes up thirty years in the past. He reacts accordingly.

I've written a lot of Top Gun fics (sixty-three, to be precise, which is insane all on its own) but this fic is far and away the one I'm most proud of. Not only did I get to throw in all my favorite things (angst with a happy ending!! time travel!! magical realism!! back to the future references!!), I got the chance to explore in a more subtle way just how much Mav loves Ice, and tackle fun existential questions like, Would you change the past if it meant you might lose the future you love? And I feel like I balanced all of the above and stuck the landing really well! (Honestly, the whole story was worth writing just for the bit in chapter three where Mav calls Ice 'baby' without thinking and Ice bluescreens so hard he drops what he's holding.)

there's a raging fire in my heart tonight

Top Gun&MCU, Iceman Kazansky/Maverick Mitchell, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers & Iceman Kazansky, Iceman Kazansky & Tony Stark, MCU/Coherent Storytelling

“Carol, you can’t bring a civilian into this—” “Civilian?” The temperature in the room seems to drop twenty degrees as Ice steps forward, flinty-eyed and deadly serious. “I’m a captain. And I earned my rank, which is more than I can say for you, Rogers. Thanos killed my husband. You want to stop me from helping you out, you’re going to have to shoot me.” Silence stretches out, long and fraught with tension. Then Stark laughs out loud, and everyone turns to look at him. “What?” he says. “I like this guy.”

This was the first Top Gun fic I ever published, and the first Top Gun fic I wrote on my own. (At the time, I was working on baby, baby, i'd get down on my knees for you with the fantastic @academicgangster, without whom I never would have gotten into Top Gun or on the Tom Cruise train at all.) Naturally my first foray into this fandom ended up being this chaotic, complicated beast of a fic, where I wrote my faves Iceman Kazansky and Tony Stark and Carol Danvers side by side, fixed all my issues with Avengers: Endgame, and gave everyone the happy ending they deserved (especially after all the additional angst I put them through). I had a blast writing this fic and rambling about all the details with Cain (without her support this fic would never have left our tumblr DMs). There were a lot of plot points to juggle, and I managed to juggle them all. So though I've definitely grown as a writer in the (oh god) five years since, I still look back on this fic very fondly, and very proudly. And who knows, maybe someday I'll go back to this series and write more of Ice accidentally acquiring a son in Tony Stark and a granddaughter in Morgan. (Famous last words, I know.)

Judge Leon AU

Night Court (1984) / Night Court (2023), Dan Fielding/Harry Stone, Dan Fielding & Leon, Olivia Moore/Donna "Gurgs" Gurganous, Neil Valluri/Gabby

When his court-assigned public defender quits on his first night as an arraignment judge at Manhattan Criminal Court, Leon decides to reach out to his old foster father, Harry Stone, for advice. He finds Harry's widower, Dan Fielding, instead.

shot:

chaser:

I could not tell you for the life of me why the hands down angstiest fics I've ever written ended up being for an 80s sitcom whose plotlines include a ventriloquist's dummy committing suicide and my blorbo getting so horny he had to fuck a firehose about it, but here we are!! Over sixty-four thousand words later!!

In all seriousness, though, I'm extremely proud of this series. I have a lot of issues with New Night Court (I have a post in my drafts about that), namely that it lacks the edge and darkness that made the original so good, and this series gave me the opportunity to restore that edge and really make us feel Harry's loss, as well as the loss of almost all the other main cast members. I get to be goofy (a man holds the gang hostage on the advice of members of his favorite subreddit) and I get to be angsty (delve deeply into Dan's low self-worth and depression and grief post-Harry's death) and in all the spaces between, I get to write about how much Harry and Dan loved each other (and develop Leon and Dan's growing bond), and I do it all very, very well. (Certainly better than the NNC writers. Let me into the writers' room, guys!! Help me help you!!)

Austin Alone

9-1-1 Lone Star, Billy Tyson/Owen Strand

After the reopening of the 126, Billy and Owen give being friends with benefits a try. Inconvenient feelings ensue. / Season 3 AU, Owen-centric.

I co-wrote this fic with the lovely @lilalbatross while season 3 was still airing, and not only were we so in tune with the characters and the show that our fic accidentally predicted the future (exploration of Owen's abandonment issues! Owen getting trapped in a collapsed building!), but this fic set my standards so high that now the show can no longer reach it. (To be fair, this is largely because Lone Star decided to become the Tarlos and Wyatt Show above all else, but that's a rant for another day.) I'm proud as hell of this fic for a lot of reasons - I got Billy and Owen's voices down pat, put them in mortal peril that was realistic to the show, and wrote some banger lines of dialogue and prose that made me take honest to god victory laps around my house. The entirety of (the very long) chapter 6 might be some of my best work of all time.

For A Minute There I Lost Myself

Ted Lasso, Nathan Shelley & Original Male Character(s), Nathan Shelley & Ted Lasso, Nathan Shelley & Rupert Mannion

Nathan Shelley and the road to redemption.

[sigh] Really it's such a shame that Ted Lasso never got a season three and so we never got to see Nate grow and thrive at West Ham and bond with his players and stand up to Rupert and become more confident in himself and his ability as a coach and apologize to Ted and just in general have a redemption arc that was not centered on some random one-dimensional mean waitress or his ability to play the violin. But at least we have this fic!

I wrote FAMTILM for Yuletide in 2021. I'd never written Nate's POV before - all my Ted Lasso fics up to this point were about Sam and Dani - so I'm proud of myself for being able to capture the nuances of Nate's voice and write the slow growth of Nate's self-esteem and realization that he was in the wrong and his affection for his players (particularly Višnjić and Roubeni, who are in my top ten favorite OCs I've ever created). I'm also very proud of myself for taking what could have been a 30k word story and telling it just as well in under 8k, and writing a full Natedemption arc in less than a month that turned out to be ten times better than what Sudeikis and co accomplished in twelve bloated episodes.

[karliahs]

fic writer interview!!

tysm @plusultraetc for the tag!! <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

50 exactly!

What's your total AO3 word count?

234,906, almost half of which (110k) was written/posted this year. insane!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

darken your door (12,832)

walk a mile (5642)

swan dive (4857)

rescue (3905)

something else to pretend (3,572)

there's a theme here and it's bnha fics i wrote in 2019/2020

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! with several asterisks i'll get into in a minute. i try to respond to every comment i get because:

i genuinely really appreciate that anyone takes the time to tell me they liked a fic when they could just consume it and say nothing with 0 consequences, so i want to say thank you

some comments have a rly big impact on me - change the way i feel about stuff, contain phrases i remember for a really long time, make me cry, etc - and just like how if someone writes a fic that impacts me then i want to tell them, i want to tell people how much their comment mattered

i often only figure out why i did something or made certain choices in a fic until someone prompts me to talk about it. it's such a useful exercise for understanding my own work better

i genuinely adore rambling about my fics, it's arguably more fun than writing them in the first place

it's really nice getting to chat to commenters and get to know people!

however. there is a 3-4 year period where i didn't reply to any comments at all because i got overwhelmed and then felt like it was too late to try and catch up. this still haunts me a little bit because i got some really lovely impactful comments in that era but it just feels too weird to reply literally like 5 years late 😭

2nd asterisk is some fics i feel kind of embarrassed about and so don't reply to comments on, 3rd is that i'm bad at managing my comments inbox so i'm sure i miss people out by accident sometimes, and 4th is that if i don't have anything nice to say then i won't respond...i get almost no comments i think are intentionally meant to be rude, but sometimes i get ones that rankle for one reason or another and i won't reply if i'm just gonna be tetchy bc again, i don't think they're meant badly

so very much a yes in theory but not in practice 😂

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

bargaining chips i think. the funny thing about that series is that in some ways i think things would ultimately turn out better than in canon (there's a reason the 2nd fic has akechi promise to contact ren if he does survive, a thing that would have paid off in the 3rd fic i never finished). but as of bargaining chips it's very much...this is the POV of a person who thinks the only power they have left in the world is to hurt people

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

my usual ending is like bittersweet and/or hopeful, so for example i feel a lot of things about the cathertic (for me at least) endings for redux and something else to pretend and unwanted, but idk if they can exactly be called happy.

going to my pure silly fluff fics instead where we pretty much start happy and end happy: to work, to rest which ends with the gang being happy about stickers, or class pets which ends with class a getting three (3) cats

Do you write crossovers?

nope!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really! probably the closest was someone commenting on pathologised with just "WHERE IS YUSUKE?" in all caps 🙄 "why isn't my fave dude in your fic" is not a genre of comment i enjoy, though it's usually phrased more politely than that at least

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, though it's apparently fairly rampant in bnha fandom with those "what if deku [x]" youtube videos. i think those are reserved for fics with actual plots though

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think i've been asked for permission for people to do so before, but i don't think i've ever actually seen anything posted...someone did translate a little section of one fic into spanish in a bookmarker comment once, which was very fun because i remember little bits of spanish from school & years of sporadic duolingo

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i think it would be so fun 👀

What's your all-time favorite ship?

mannnn i just cannot care about romantic ships the way that seems to be so ubiquitous in fandom. even when i try and write romance it ends up as like ambigious tenderness or Friendship With Vibes. the few times i've even written kissing it's been just a build up to a kiss after which the fic immediately fades to black, which is really funny in retrospect like...buddy, is that because you stop caring about what's happening once the kissing starts?

i am fond of erasermic, jontim and shindeku, though i enjoy them as platonic dynamics pretty much the same amount

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

it mostly doesn't bother me to have tons of unfinished WIPs, i don't really put that expectation that everything i start will or should get finished/posted.

so the only one that genuinely bugs me is the third fic in seen and not heard, because i feel like i kind of promised it to people and then didn't deliver, and because it would have properly concluded a series i know a few people really connected with...and because the draft got to like 80% done but i could just never finish it off in a way i was happy with. maybe someday though

there's also a more recent bnha fic draft that i am really fond of in some ways, but i just could not take the discourse i think it would inspire. i might finish it just for me someday

What are your writing strengths?

cribbing all these from comments honestly but i think i'm pretty good at real-feeling emotional responses to situations. emotional realism, maybe? and writing introspection/people thinking and feeling things in general.

my characterisation gets complimented a fair bit, which is funny bc i think i actually take a lot of liberties with canon characters, but i guess i'm decent at couching those liberties in a way that makes it pass muster most of the time. like passing off a counterfeit watch as genuine

i'm somewhat good with grounding things in sensory detail, but that's one of those things i think i'll always be trying to get better at

What are your writing weaknesses?

i've never met a plot in my life and i don't want to. i also can't write longfic. in real-world terms i'm a short story writer and not a novelist - all those structural narrative things people do to make a long-form story work are just mystifying to me. part of that is just driven by what interests me though - i don't read a lot of plotty longfic either

i'm also still working on improving syntax and flow in my prose in general, but that's another one of those endless projects i think

oh also having more than two people in a prolonged dialogue scene is wildly difficult to me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i have no thoughts on this matter!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

merlin! i wrote probably bad merlin fic on ff.net back when i was like 15/16. it's actually the reason i joined tumblr in the first place, bc my fave merlin fic writer had a tumblr and i got curious

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i'd like to write more about my silly little video game OCs. i've dabbled in it a bit before but i've never really invested in it because i know no one would read it/care. but i'm getting better at writing for myself and it is really fun to have records of these OCs that i love, so i hope i can write some stuff about the protag i make for new dragon age that i'll inevitably get deeply attached to

it's also kind of wild to me that i've never written for homestuck or dangan ronpa given the impact those two things had on my psyche

What's your favorite fic you've written?

my answer to this changes depending on the day but right now...something else to pretend my beloved

wow that got long. not tagging anyone but if you'd like to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[feyhunter78]

Hi it’s El again! Sorry for so many I’ve been busy and not had time to submit the ideas. Can I have an aegon one where he’s being forced to marry and meets a woman whose more interested in the flowers in the garden than meeting him. He grows a liking and when she rambles about flowers he’s just staring like a lovestuck puppy and when she stops and apologises for rambling he just makes her continue. She then confessed through flowers and he only realised cause he looked through a book on language of flowers that he borrowed of off Aemond who teased him for liking a girl. It ends with them going to viserys and saying they would like to get married and be together

Don't even worry about it, El!!!! I was super busy with work, so this ended up being perfect timing!!!! I am a big fan of flower language, Moonflowers actually has different flower names as chapter titles in AO3 with their meanings in the notes XD, so I already had a website ready that could give me flower meanings!!!

The Language of Flowers

Aegon detests his betrothed, she’s cold and callous, much too religious, and hates drinking. She refuses to spend time with him and doesn’t even laugh at his jokes.

 You, in comparison, are warm and kind, you strive to spend every waking moment with him, and think he should give up his position as eldest son and travel the realm telling jokes from the back of Sunfyre. Or, well, that’s what he believes you’ll be like until you look up at him with annoyance in your bright eyes.

“You are stepping on my peonies.” You said curtly, shooing his booted foot away as you go back to gardening.

“Apologies, I was merely struck by your beauty.” He said smoothly, kneeling beside you. “How is it that, among all these blossoms, you are the most radiant?”

“Oh wow, I have never heard that before.” You said in hushed awe, meeting his gaze,

Aegon puffs up his chest. “Yes, well, as the heir to the Iron Throne, I must have a skilled tongue.”

“I thought Prince Aegon was the heir.” You said, feigning confusion, and fighting back a giggle at his ridiculousness.

“I am him.” He said proudly.

“No, a prince would no better than to interpret a gardener at work, besides Princess Rhaenyra is the king’s heir.” You said, digging another hole for the rose seeds to be placed into, not caring if dirt got on Prince Aegon’s trousers.

You heard him stammer, flabbergasted, before he stood and yanked you up with him.

“I am Prince Aegon, you will speak to me with respect.”

“Okay.” You said, before attempting to go back to work.

“What is so special about those flowers anyway?” He asked, pointing at the flowers you’ve been replanting.

Your eyes light up, and Aegon’s stomach flips in a way it hasn’t done since he was young. “We’re hosting the Tyrells soon, and we wished to convey a message of welcome in the language of flowers.”

“The language of flowers?” His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as he stared at the flowers trying to see if they had writing on them, and he’d just never noticed.

“Yes, each flower has a different meaning.” You pointed to the different flowers as you rattled their meanings off. “That means humility, the other, friendship, and then simply is meant to symbolize cheerfulness.”

As you continued telling him the meaning of every flower in the garden, he couldn’t help but hang onto your every word, his heart, and stomach doing things he thought they’d lost the ability to long ago.

He watched you with interest, genuine interest. You had a way of making everything around him not seem as boring as if often did.

You noticed his staring and stopped. “I am sorry, I get lost in my excitement at times.”

“No, please continue. I find it all quite fascinating.” He chuckled and sat beside you. “If you had taught me instead of my septa, I would have come out as smart as Aemond.”

You ducked your head but smiled as you continued rambling.

It’s not until some time later that you gift Aegon with a bouquet. He’s never been given flowers before and when you tell him, they’re a gift simply because you enjoy his company, he has to subtly wipe the tears from his eyes.

He began claiming they’re from the sun, but you just smile, and give him a chaste kiss on the cheek before returning to the garden.

He has the servants put them in water and seeks out his brother. “Aemond, I need a book on the language of flowers.”

“Why?” Aemond asked.

“Because I do.”

Aemond rolls his eye and rifles through his shelves before handing Aegon the book. “Wait, does this have anything to do with the pretty young gardener?”

Aegon snatches the book from him. “No.”

Aemond raises an eyebrow. “You have fallen for her.”

Aegon make an offended face. “As if.”

“Then you will not mind if I pursue her? Seeing as you are already betrothed.”

Aegon sees red. “If you even think about looking her way, I will tear out your good eye.” He snarled, storming out of Aemond’s room, his brother’s laughter following behind him.

Aegon sits in front of the flowers, thumbing through the book. “Gardenias, pink Camellias and red tulips.” He muttered to himself.

Gardenia: You are lovely, Camellia, Pink: Longing for you, Red Tulips: A declaration of love

Aegon reads their meanings over and over again before dropping the book and sprinting into the gardens. He sees you talking to his father and handing him a bundle of freshly cut sunflowers.

“These should brighten up your room, my king.” You said, smiling as you handed them to him.

“You are too kind, Lady y/n.” He said, smiling as well.

“Y/N, father, I must speak, in front of you both.” He kneeled before you, taking your hands in his.

King Viserys looked as shocked as you did.

“Lady y/n I have read your message within the blooms, and I wholeheartedly return it. I love you, and I wish to wed you.” Aegon said breathlessly.

You glanced at the king. “My prince, I—”

“I have never seen such fire in my son. This is wonderful.” King Viserys said, his smile widening as he clapped Aegon on the shoulder.

“You will allow it?” He asked hesitantly.

“Of course, Lady y/n has brought me such joy with the flowers she brings me, and if you are willing to kneel in the mud for her, then she is obviously more than capable of wrangling you.”

Aegon stood, and thanked his father before his eyes turned to you. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, a thousand times, yes.” You said happily.

On your wedding day, your bouquet carried a message meant solely for Aegon, who gave you a mischievous smile before he kissed you, intertwining your hearts together like ivy.

(Ivy: Affection, Friendship, Fidelity)

Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @svtansdaddyx, @fan-goddess, @dc-marvel-girl96, @shintax-error, @bellameshipper, @the141bandicoot, @the-phantom-of-arda, @haydee5010

[lauren-ce]

Apologies if I'm being nosy, but I just have to ask how you ended up in the Evrart Chair and also how fucked up does a chair have to be to ruin someone's back?

I'm glad you asked! For those of you wondering, this is in regards to a fic I wrote recently. At the end I complained about having sat in a chair that fucked up my back severely enough that I had trouble walking for the next two weeks (I'm still recovering a month later).

I apologize, but I'm going to answer your question in the worst way possible by writing way too much. Story time!

There is a trend in architecture that took place in the 1950s which you've probably heard about! Brutalism. Overly Sarcastic Productions made an excellent video if you need a primer on the topic, but the gist of it can be boiled down to the following: concrete, functionality, utility, and more concrete (concrete was a very cheap postwar material that allowed war-torn countries to rebuild quickly)

As stated in the video, Brutalism was designed as the ultimate utilitarian style, made specifically to aim towards the ideal of a socialist utopia. Buildings for the people, made to fit their function. BUT WATCH OUT! Brutalism is often maligned as being imposing and monolithic, which is why it can be so readily confused with various types of hostile architecture, or architecture made to be the exact opposite of ergonomic. This is where the soul of brutalism dies (and why it looks so ugly: many people miss the point that it's meant to be useful and honest and not flashy).

UNFORTUNATELY, my ideal chair just so happens to look like the stuff of brutalist nightmares. It's the kind of chair that would make people cry, and yet my back is generally happiest in this specific kind of thing. I sit at the table and work on my computer a lot, so reclining is uncomfortable as it forces my neck to bend down (I'm tall). I like the hard edges because it means the chair is sturdy and won't break/squeak/move when I shift slightly. I like the straight back so I can't recline. My spine is in heaven.

All this to say, after breaking the one I usually use, I spent hours looking for a chair to fit my needs, and I thought I finally found one at World Market.

Pretty plum color, no? And the back looked like it would work, as the reclining angle was much less than many of the others I could find. So I went to test it out. It was VERY comfortable. That's where I made my first mistake:

I work on my feet. My entire job is done standing. ANY chair would feel comfortable after a day of standing! So I thought I'd picked a winner, and I took the bastard home and sat in it for four hours straight. And then when I tried to stand up again, I knew I was fucked. I had to shuffle to bed, and then I was in pain all night. Luckily it was the weekend and my wife was there to help me sit up and stuff, but still, my mood went into a downward spiral and for the next two weeks I was constantly icing my spine and using my heating pad while chugging painkillers. Lifting anything more than 5 pounds put too much pressure on my lower back, and standing up straight was too difficult since my back would seize and prevent me from breathing very well.

I'd get my revenge, but the chair got the last laugh. I had recovered enough to walk mostly normally, so I thought I'd bring the fucker back to World Market. I lifted it (with correct deadlift form, I might add): instant pain. I'd refucked my back. I managed to get rid of the chair (and get a refund), but I set my healing back a week in the process.

Anyway, there's your answer. "How fucked does a chair have to be to fuck up your back?" Not at all, unfortunately. I probably sit for longer periods of time than I should, but if there's one thing this stupid ramble is meant to stress, it's the importance of a good chair. I still haven't found a good replacement.

Take-away points: reclining chairs aren't automatically "good" for your back. Do your research! Instead of buying a gaming chair buy this, and never ever ever trust a chiropractor. (that last one has nothing to do with this story, but is just a good general rule.)

[dragonflyxparodies]

hey i just wanna let u know ive reread af,au a bunch of times and i think my favorite piece has got to be laurel evergreen. im absolutely obsessed w the lore you've created for domino, and the perspective youve created for daphne. shes one of my favorite characters just because of the potential she could have had in canon, and youre doing so much with her it brings a tear to my eye lol. but whenever i get to that part in the reread i take extra time reading it, the way you describe her emotions and actions and how they intertwine is just amazing. i eat it up every time. ive said it before i'll say it again im obsessed with it. i love the hand you had daphne deal in the fate of the coven, and the way you write about her rage is just. so good. i know im rambling but its so hard to fond the words to describe the joy this makes me feel. the emphasis you put on daphne still culturally being considered a child reminds me in a way of all of what shes doing in the fic being a temper tantrum of a child. the illogical and creative thought process she takes, the simple rage that fills her, arent things you find in adult povs, but the minds of children who are easily angered when things dont go their way. daphne is undeniably not a kid, but she isnt an adult either and you do a wonderful job of getting that across. i also love the way you accredit daphnes achievements in a way to bloom, that doesnt take away the fact daphne did them. its less, 'daohne did all of this for bloom', and more 'daphne is a person willing to do the impossible for things she holds dear', adding more to a character that we dont really get, instead of centering her purely around bloom. i could go on and on but this is a lot of words so. youre an amazing writer and a bug inspiration. and i love laurel evergreen a lot lol

Aaa thank you so much < 3<3 <3 I’m so glad you enjoy Laurel Evergreen so much – it was one of my favorite pieces to write, and it’s one of the pieces that are closest to my heart.

I feel like Daphne is kind of getting the short end of the stick in this AU as far as, like, reader sympathy goes, just because the POVs of the main cast are so limited – she’s super antagonistic in Field Trip, and Bloom is not having it, but Daphne’s response is wholly reasonable for her position, for what she knows, for what she’s seeing. She’s a complex character with a whole Lot of Shit to deal with (and she’s still a teenager!). Laurel Evergreen was written waaay before Field Trip, but I’m *very* happy it gives you all a real insight into her character rather than how Bloom + Co see her.

I never got the impression that S1 Daphne was meant to center her entire being around Bloom although…y’know, later seasons oof…and I’m glad that carried through to Laurel Evergreen! I think it’s very important to note; it didn’t have to be Bloom, and you hit the nail on the head lol – Daphne would’ve done that for anyone she cared about.

Which, of course, makes the tragedy of so many of those people she cared about instigating the wholesale genocide of her planet, that much more powerful.

Thank you <3 <3 <3 <3

[dogydayz]

Something I really really love specifically about Shadow, as a character, is his entire.... like. Thing. Who he is. Who he becomes. Like, ignoring more recent incarnations of him, he's such a fucking cool and inspiring character.

Hear me out. His whole story is insanely fucking tragic, every part of what he was meant to be, why he was created, etc., has been tugged back and forth between people and groups. Some want him as a weapon, when he wasn't designed to be like that, and his original purpose is now seemingly long gone to him as the one he was supposed to protect was killed just to try to save him. It was his for him to be made that an ancient and devastating hive mind of aliens tried to take over the fucking planet. It was because of events tied to him that the sweet man who made him went fucking insane in the end. His entire existence has caused, either in his own eyes or according to others, pain and destruction for the world he wishes to protect because of a promise he made to the one he believes he'd "failed".

Nearly all of the endings to Shadow The Hedgehog (2005) besides the true ending have something to do with him succumbing to those ideas and snapping, or succumbing to those ideas and being so depressed that in some of them he LITERALLY KILLS HIMSELF. Because he thinks it would be what would truly help others...

That many endings with that sort of theme really show just how much this shit affects him mentally, how much he suffers from it...

But what ACTUALLY happens? What does he ACTUALLY end up doing?

Well.

He essentially says "fuck you I'm NOT giving up, I don't fucking care if the world is against, I'm not giving up on it and I'm GOING to make a life for myself goddamn it!!!"

He's been hit and abused so many times, he's been thrown around by others, he's been used for others' benefits, he's been considered nothing more than a super-weapon... And yet he doesn't fucking stop. He doesn't let that crush him in the end, he doesn't let that destroy him. He gives a shit about people, a big shit about them. He loves so much that it's seemingly what gives him his ability to be so strong. He's chooses, instead of falling into a spiral of rage or self-loathing, to not only accept himself but EMBRACE himself, he loves the world and he loves life and he loves people and he REFUSES to give up on others. He isn't just doing it because of that promise anymore, it's not out of spite for those who hated him either, he genuinely fucking wants to help people, he is his own person yet he never tries to write off his past. He accepts it as part of what makes him himself, while still choosing his own life.

I don't know if my incoherent ramblings make much sense tbh, but I love him so fucking much because he's the goddamn type of inspiration that a LOT of people absolutely need to see. He's overcome his trauma, he's learned to be his own person, and not only that, but he's come to ACCEPT who he is because he's confident in himself, he KNOWS himself, and he believes in himself.

He's genuinely such a cool fucking character and I really really hope that more people see this side of him when they enter into the fandom, because even I had absolutely not known of any of this prior to me falling into it all.

I adore him with all of my heart.

[whats-she-gonna-post-next]

So I just finished reading Sansûkh, which, amazing fic, if you are at all a fan of LotR, I wholeheartedly suggest reading it. However, I have a bad habit of waxing poetic about fanfiction to my friends, and I thought I would share my two favorites that I wrote as I got to the end. These are spoiler free because one of my friends that I was sending this to wants to read it when they have the time to emotionally invest in it, so I hope you enjoy these even just a little regardless of if you have read it, are currently reading it, planning ti read it, or if you just want to read the sad ramblings of someone who gets far too invested in fanfiction for their mental health.

So, when I reached chapter 46, I needed a break, so I went to my friends and just started typing. I wanted to get the emotions in my chest out so I could breathe and keep reading without the bubble. It was meant to be 3 sentences, instead I sent this.

I just finished chapter 45, can confirm, and am still sobbing. I don't even have the words for this, but listen, I have read a lot of books, I have read even more fic, I have complimented many an amazing authors in my time - all of whom are still amazing, do not get me wrong, regardless of what I say - but when I tell you that I have not read a better writter work than this one, and I do not think it can be matched? I have been moved to tears more often than I can count, have spent an hour reading half a chapter that should take no more than 20 minutes to funishe due to my inability to hold back the waves of emotions that were invoked from mere words on a screen, I have learned to love again, deeper than I thought possible from the shape of the world brought forth in this world. It has me waxing poetics, and yet I am not finished? How often can that be said of a work? It has inspired countless works of fanart, people have composed, put tge lyrics they write so music so that we can truly enjoy. The inspiration that flows in the very marrow of this story can move the earth and shatter sky and still cultivates it and directs it better than any god could hope. Not even have I finished, and still, I already wish I could read it again for the first time. Though heavy is my heart to be near the end, so too am I happy beyond words to have shared in the journey.

I managed 1 and a half more chapters before bed. I then pushed it off today when I woke up, I did other things. I ignored the fic that sat beckoning in my phone browser, terrified to finish but equally so to leave it to sit and rot unfinished so close to the end. I mustered my courage, and I sat, and I read, and when I finished, I felt there was little left of me. I needed to do something, and so I went to my friends, once more intending to only send a few sentences, and I sent this instead.

I'm done. My emotions are shot. I don't have the words to explain how I feel because I don't feel real. How... God it sounds dramatic but how do you go on after something like this? How do I give myself the leeway to continue when I am wrought of all emotion? And I know I'm being dramatic. I've read other fics that have left me in a similar state and I have moved on, but in this moment it is as if all else is wiped away, like I have become a husk, light and brittle, left to battle the fridged winds of an ever moving future. I am lost and helpless against it, and I can even name the feelings that gather.

I hold true to the first rambling. There is much to be said about someone whose words can drive you to creation. It wets my eyes and casts my tongue in silver, and even still, I find myself unable to truly express the inner workings of my heart. I leave myself instead to use what words I can and hope that even a quarter of how much I am touched is expressed with them before they too flee in the face of such magnificence.

If you have made it this far, I applauded you. Long-winded words aren't always easy to parse, and if you relate even some, I thank you.

[yourlocalartsonist]

Hi ho! I was just reading your fic and omg its so cool! I was wondering what parts of you were put in salena? Like i know you said they have certain parts of them that were inspired by you.

I love it when a character has little bits and pieces of the author! I feel like it helps them seem more realistic or well rounded because you can talk about stuff you know!

Also what kinda impact/moral do you think youd like for your story to have on ppl?

If any of this has been answered you can ignore it!

Also im so excited to see whats next for Salena! She's super cool!

HIIII I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic ;w;

So the short answer to your first question of what parts of me were put into Salena: all of them—

That’s not even an exaggeration, Salena is the first ever proper self insert I’ve made for a story! In the past, any self insert OCs I made would end up being VASTLY different characters by the time I wrote the story since I valued making them work for the narrative more than I valued making them feel like me. But with Salena, it genuinely worked. The personality, morals, reactions, bla bla bla that I would have genuinely work in the story of rise and make for really interesting dynamics with the main cast. It’s honestly hella cool to basically be writing myself and so I took it a step further and put a lot of my actual life experiences into MFIP in order to explore them more. A lot of the scenarios are things I’ve experienced, just more exaggerated for the sake of the story but ngl it feels like an AU for my own life in the best way possible.

This also kind of relates to the second question. I use MFIP as a way to critique a lot about our society and the norms and traditions and all that bullshit we’re taught. Often times, the media and Hollywood and whatever the fuck play the same narrative over and over again even if that narrative is toxic. I mean, how many romcoms have you seen that basically romanticize cheating but make it all cutesy cuz “oh they were just meant to be so it’s okay X main character cheated on their partner to end up with Y main character!”? But also I can’t just write a long ass book saying “this this and this is wrong with society” cuz that would be hella draining to read. So instead, I tried a more fun delivery.

In MFIP, it’s written to make you feel like you’re inside Salena’s mind, witnessing all their reactions and emotions and seeing the world through her lens for better or worse. And I think that will hopefully allow people to understand someone like Salena way better. Understand why Zane’s behavior isn’t okay for example, critiquing the whole “bad boy who’s obsessed with you” stereotype by showing how Salena feels in that situation. I could honestly go on and on with examples but yk I don’t wanna spoil the whole fun~

In a nutshell, I want people who have never experienced a life like Salena’s to understand and empathize with them. I want them to grow their worldview. And for people who relate to Salena, I want them to know they’re not alone. That they’re heard and they’re accepted and they deserve love just as much as Salena does.

I don’t really know how to end this tbh cuz this ramble can be a whole 15 page essay in Times New Roman 12 size font with a fucking Abstract and annotated bibliography. So I will just leave ya with this:

I went through the majority of my life feeling and alone and isolated because no one took the time to ever understand me on a more personal level that’s removed from their own biases. So I made Salena and this story to try and fix that issue and hopefully prevent it from repeating with someone else.

[jaggededges123]

have you ever written omegaverse!

so,, so the thing is,, i have more than a full page of omegaverse works lol, but here is a favorite (and also my most recent, from the folger's flash!). and i will also tell you how i will probably write it for eighthcest once i get there because my brain keeps circling back around to it every few days like a creature to a salt lick (under the cut because uh, it might get a lil long):

so i was thinking it would be a sort of omega-centric build, with omegas almost always being necromancers and alphas almost always ending up as cavaliers (and betas tend to fill in the rest of the roles in their society i guess idk i'm here for the horn and building up fucky societal structures).

so i was thinking overall, but especially in the eighth, it's actually one of the many duties of a cavalier to help their necromancer through their heat, but it's not allowed to be real, it's supposed to be mechanical and cold. in the eighth, an alpha must wear a muzzle during the heat period so that there are no mating bites, and they're meant to use a silicone heat aid instead of their dick, etc etc. it's miserable generally, and it only stops if the necromancer marries someone not their own cavalier, and then they can spend their heat with someone else.

so anyway, silas hates touching the muzzle even to put it on colum the night before his heat is scheduled to start (upon reflection, he decides this is because he doesn't like touching the dead animal skin that makes up the straps. he does not consider that he touches colum's leather armor almost every day without a single problem jskdalfjsdklfja). and because neither of them really touch it outside of taking it on and off, when they're both a little compromised already, they don't notice when part of the strap has become worn.

i think... after some time, silas also really decides that he hates the silicone knot for Reasons, and so colum should just use his real one and not feel lust about it, that's a perfectly reasonable demand right? just fuck silas and be so super normal about it, like a good eighth house alpha.

and eventually... the leather snaps, the muzzle falls to the bed with a muted thud, and colum's balls deep inside silas who's half delirious with heat, directing colum to fuck him harder and touch him more... like, they never stood a chance, really.

colum bites him :3

them's the thoughts currently, along with some aftermath about how much of a "disaster" it all is (mostly just publicly a scandal, tbh, the fifth have been doing things like this for centuries if not millenia). but here the horn ends, and so here the coffee ends their ramble XD

[tuesdayscanons]

Screw it, I'm going to devote a whole post to rambling about Acception because aaaaaaaaa

The writing is made even more baffling by the fact the comic has so many characters with interesting story potential and one character who is genuinely well written (Iris Bossman is the best character in this comic), but for some reason we're following...the rich and famous boy who is essentially a giant toddler with no problems??? That might be rude to say, but like, Arcus's problems aren't established very well (it's one of those stories where the writer just tells you things instead of actually conveying it in a meaningful way) and he's mindlessly happy 99% of the time so any attempt of going "Oh, Arcus has problems!" winds up feeling cheap. That's not even getting into the queerbaiting...

The cast is pretty cluttered and characters appear/disappear out of nowhere. Even important secondary characters like Lola and Bó just get Thanos snapped. They haven't been seen since the Paris arc and the more time that passes, the more I'm convinced they just left Lola and Bó in France. I haven't even seen them in the background.

The same thing goes for plot lines—how am I meant to be invested in anything when I can't even trust that the creator will follow through on certain plot points?

Arcus and Maud are the end game ship (the characters were literally made for each other), yet they have zero chemistry. Negative chemistry, even. Maud feels more like a babysitter than a friend or love interest. Hell, her older brother somehow has more chemistry with Arcus than she does. Doesn't help that the slow burn is so slow that I notice fans of the comic giving up on Arcus and Maud as a ship.

Before I go, I should also mention—I don't know what it is with this comic and adults being creepy to minors. The most egregious example is Lola and Frank. Frank was an asshole to Lola, but she falls in love with him??? For some reason??? They have a pact where Lola will date Frank when she becomes of age if either of them don't find someone else before then. When Bó rightfully calls this grooming, Lola is like "you don't know him, stop being a man-hater" and Bó apologizes??? For not wanting Lola to be groomed????

[sugoi-writes]

Everytime I think of her, the more I wanna write this down... hdhsjsjs

Here's some non-fleshed out ramblings of my Vine Hashira OC: Midoriya Haru

---

HO-KAY SO--

She would be a lil older, probably around 25-ish; not quite 30s. Probably became a Hashira around 19, but has been MIA after her last mission ended in disaster (several years). She was not a Hashira for very long.

She is stumbled upon again by the Kamado Gang as theyre heading towards their next mission. Theyre shocked to see a disheveled, seemingly feral woman vibing and living in the forest. But... she somehow is STILL more refined/put together than Inosuke;;;

When asked how she is able to survive on her own, and how she handles demons, she hints that she's more than capable.

While she doesn't have her full nichirin sword anymore (shattered in her last battle as a Demon Slayer), she basically salvaged a part of it, carved it, and made it into a makeshift shiv/bayonet. Many assumed she was dead and gone, but she's still around.

Instead of going back to the corps, she basically lives as a vigilante, with a desire to just settle down and grow old, knowing that the corps was the near death of her, and the actual death of her friends.

Sadly, she was more right than she knew. And, in a battle where she and the Kamado Gang is ambushed, she would be killed off by a demon (not sure yet if it would've been an upper moon or just REALLY buff demon yet).

Much like a demon, she's decapitated, and is partially consumed by the demon, making the boss fight MUCH harder. Which goes to show the Kamado Gang just how BAD it is when a Hashira is eaten by a demon (even if she's retired) first hand.

Before she died, Haru did FINALLY manifest her own Mark, but at a grave cost.

Breathing Style: Vine breathing. Basically marries the Stone and Water breathing. Ebbing/flowing and flexible like water, but with a strong foundation in Stone Breathing. It's used as a means to grapple/disorient a target, while freeing her body up to deal massive, powerful blows. In the defensive, her breathing Style has her foe's attacks getting deflected or "caught up" in something, as if having to cut down thick, unmoving vines to actually hit Haru. All in all: her breathing Style makes terrain and attacks slower/buffered for a time, while she is able to attack/defend with fluidity and ferocity.

Slayer Mark: her mark is several thorn-covered vines, stretching across her face in a wide "X". They also wrap around her neck, which is meant to foreshadow her death.

General Appearance - Like her name sake, her hair is a light forest green, skin is pale, and her eyes are a blue with a gold ring around the pupil. She is built a lil thicker/broader than your usual woman back in the day. Her wide, powerful frame makes her history with Stone Breathing more apparent. She's VERY strong, but still fairly nimble.

Her attire is mostly ragged, with patches sewn on to keep her garments together. She feels guilt for proudly wearing her haori, but she keeps what's left of it around/tucked into her waistband of her bottoms. Her former uniform peaks under this, and is in pretty shit condition, too, from being in fights and the elements. The symbol for "Destroy" is still on her back, however, as symbol of her dedication to still bring down evil, even if she isn't throwing herself in head-first anymore. (She let's the demons come to HER, not the other way around).

Overall, she gives forest-hag-but-sweet vibes, and is an urban legend akin to the Babayaga, but the Kamado Gang is surprised that this wasn't a tall tail about a demon... but a HUMAN.

Anyway, that's all I've got gsusjsjs thanks for coming to my TED talk! Any comments/ideas are appreciated. Tell me about your OCs too!