#I DONT WVEN KNOW THEM AT ALL

[bibleofficial]

just saw the seagull finally hunt a rat oh my god the screaming 😦

[spookyfishoperalamp]

You know the fanfics where either danny or jason get pregnant?

Well does anyone else want a fic where BOTH jason and danny get pregnant? Think about it they find out one of the is 8 weeks pregnant and then a week or two later they other finds out they're also pregnant.

So now you have 2 pregnant people and the babies could be in the numbers 2-4, depending how many kids you want them to have you can even have angst in there.

Like Red Hood gets shot cause either;

He was the one who didn't find out first so he still patrolled or,

We can even go the route that danny finds out he's pregnant after jason but he gets captured by the GIW or even the Fentons (if you want to go bad reveal and them thinking danny is just a post mortem impression that imprinted on the ecto of the portal) so after he's captured and flees back to the GZ he gets treated then finds out that he is pregnant

I'm just rambling my thoughts down and don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone else so if you want to run with this do so

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i need to be put down -_-

[artisanalpeanutbutter]

Not gonna lie

I dont think I'll ever forgive my parents for how poorly they mishandled our dog's health. I constantly felt as though it was my fault even though I quite literally couldn't do any more than i did. I still feel as though it was my fault. He deserved so much fucking better. I love him, and he had to endure such horrible skin problems because my parents refused to take him to a better vet because they were convinced the one they went to was fine. Even though I protested them for YEARS. I tried so fucking hard to get them to see what was going on but they just let it get worse and worse. They would never listen. And I couldn't take him somewhere on my own because I was a kid with no money. My sibling was too busy to notice. And my mom couldn't accept that it was her fault, and that she could've done better. I think she knows now but is still denying it to herself. My dad, quite frankly, didn't care.

[inutaffy]

this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my fucking life and i hope it does actually. ugh guys dont GET IT. he wants it to be over but its not over until its reallt over he know he cant just choose to give it up he has to work for his ending he had to work for a happy life because it's gonna kill him inside otherwise. and he doesnt know what he wants with ani maybe all he wanted was to protect her and now he doesnt need to because all they had was "the fucking disaster and then cleaning it up" what were they really without the drama and the murder and the lies and secrets they keep. he doesnt even believe in love or so he says and hes here at a dance for her and he doesnt know why. but as soon as that phone rings the physical manifestation of his paranoia and anxiety and guilt he answers and he listens. HE FUCKING HOOKED ON IT

[magpod-confessions]

i mightve alrwady said this but nobody talks about breekon and hope enough. like as a haha funny because theyre my favs and content for them is rare bc theyre side characters but also. idk.

like for all the talk of like doomed/tragic relationships whatever are we not going to talk about THE tragic relationship ever?? idc how you interpret the relationship between them as siblings, romantic partners, or something else, there’s smth thats always just made me bawl about how breekon was after hope’s death.

im not the best at putting things into words but he genuinely lost everything, like mag 128 made me just so unbelievably sad because breekon was just wandering around, trying to do the only thing he knows how to do but its not the same because he’s gone:(

im just insane about them because just imagine the eerily silent van rides where there used to be laughter and. god i cant wven think about like.,,!:$;$; wuwueueuewhehe

anyways im done for now but im just actually so not normal about them and you guys dont pay enough attention to them

.

[mentallhealthmatters]

Ngl i do NOT vibe woth how ranboo just bounces from one social group to the next. Its hard to keep up with his who ever his current social group is when he keeps seemingly ditching old friends for new ones.

Crumb and Tubbo? Havent heard word on them and their status with Ranboo in ages. I remember he used to collab a lot with them both the dropped them both like stale moldy bread.

Now its Aimsey this and Aimsey that. And im sitting here just counting the days before he ditches aimsey too, cause you KNOW its gonna happen sooner or later especially given how its not a one off thing. Its a fucking patturn of behavior, and from an outside specific i cant fathom why?

Cause Tubbo and Crumb werent fucking problamatic. Tubbo, sure, maybe they didnt see wye to eye and expressed differences on the shipping issue behind the scene. Not my issue, wven if Ranboo still talks postively

Mean while aimsey is trying to avoid talking about Beau's situation and tried to lie about knowing or having any association with Harry. Which is said to see Aimsey voice wanting support all victims but lie and avoid their way out of supporting a victim because hes in the abusers friend circle behind the scenes.

AND Aimsey still never apologied for wanting to violently hate crime (running over them with her car) bisexuals who want to claim lesbian, but like as a joke, which is fucking gross. Lesbian is queer attarction to woman, and yeah, bisexuals can claim that if they want too, and if her beef is because she thinks bisexual ALWAYS means some atractiom to men, its kinda biphobic of her to assume so, given other genders besides men exist, and multigender and genderfluid lesbians exist? Its very problmaric take Aimseys never apologized for.

Either way, Aimsey is just extremely toxic id say, and i am kinda bummed Ranboo would throw away his nontoxic friends who were more queer friendly for a open terf whos quick to put down abusers unless theyre friends with that abuser. What a fake feminist.

I think Ranboo should have looked into joining QSMP and trying to make new friends or go back doing stuff with Crumb.

Cause if Aimsey is spouting anti bi and lesbian radfem terf shit, i dont want to support Ranboo anymore, especially because for all i know, Ranboo thinks the same, and is also spouting terf and rad fem stuff. Both concepts are generally not queer friendly despite claims that they are, and see ranboo associate himself with such people makes him suddenly a lot queer friendly.

Yes, queer people can be not so queer friendly. Infighting exists.

[pumpkinsy0]

um more hcs for the 2000s au where they live in different countries pretty pretty pretty please with pony and curly shaped sprinkles on top of uhhhh paper that has been cut?

i cant wait to eat paper shreddings w pony and curly shaped sprinkles, THIS is what america was for, not silencing others,,,,,

ALSO QUICK FIX, its not early 2000s, omegle came out in 2009 so this au takes place in like 2009/2010

•ok SO, pony in the us, curly in haiti, this would mean curly didint immigrate!!!never even visited the us, immigrant shepards u do NOT make an apperance😢😢😢at least rn idk

•they met on omegle, pony was just on it to see how the website works and angela gets joy from being on it and forced curly along despite him telling her to get off it

•this au, curly cant speak english that good, or at all rlly, hes going based off ponys vibes, if ponys smiling keep going, if hes not, just stfu😭

•curly was hitting on pony in the omegle chat, not wven a hi, hello, first, and angela was SICK of watching it so she left and pony and curly stayed in that omegle

•soda and darrg knows about them video calling and isnt 100% onboard w it cause they dont know curly, #strangerdanger!!!

•googlr added kreyòl in 2010 as well, so FINALLY at some point pony could better understand pony and they got closer

•but before that, pony would ask darry to translate a sentence in kreyòl (or french) but bc kreyòl ISNT french just similar to it, darry could only take an educated guess in what curly was saying, and tim would translate some sentences from english cause he can kinda speak it

•ik they b ITCHIN to talk to each other, pony will NOTTT let being grounded stop him from talking to that man, he will take his ass to the library and use that computer to email curly if he has to, ponys not a big user of the internet but for curlys theres an exception

•haiti has a lot of parades and curlys a party animal, he has to tell pony he wont b online tonight and ponys always bored those nights</333, but he likes curlys body make up/costumes for em, hes drawn em sometimes!!!

•they send each other gifts from their country!!! they both have shelves of each others gifts in their room and stare at em a lot cause woaw,,,HE touched this,,,

•this version kf pony probably knows the most kreyòl out of the rest of the ponys now that i think about it, he can hold a small convo

•theyre both using the family computer, not only do they have to hide who theyre talking to, but their families r loud and annoying as shit, they could try to have a “date” and they see something going on in the background and its wither funny it its so awkward

[thatguylucass]

I find it difficult to empathize with someone's decision to end things with you. You are an incredible person, and they are undeniably losing out on the opportunity to be with you. I simply can’t understand why someone would be so close to marrying you and just bail.- H

Haha, that is very sweet of you to say but dear annon I trully am no saint..

Its been a while since I have spoken about that relationship but I will provide some context. When I was 13 I meet someone, we will call them… Kitkat.

TW: Mentions of abuse, Suicide, self harm and abusive relationships

Kitkat was a year older than me, and of course we meet online. Maybe I was young and stupid but i fell so hard for this guy it was insane, we would talk 24/7 and we where so close, we became best friends. A year later i confessed and got friendzoned, but a month later after i had tried datibg someone he said he liked me and we started dating.

The relationship was extremely toxic. I came from a background that made me be very clingy and obsessive so anything i did i mean, Anythibg i would ask him, it was as if they where the only reason I could live. This is why i dobt belive he was fully to blame as I didn’t know what real love was like.

Kitkat obviously became abusive, he enjoyed the control and it got to his head. So he went from a good person who was hurt due to religious trauma and abusive parents to becoming the abuser,. It was like the both of us where hurting eachother as years went by. I wanted to be saved and someone to tell me how to live, while kitkat wanted someone who would never leave them and love them unconditionally.

My bestfriend saw this and things started to go hay wire very soon. I started to self harm anytime kitkat would get mad at me, (mostky because they were trying to make thibgs stop) soon i stopped doing things I loved. KitKat on the other hand became more aggressive and controlling.

We broke up around 3 times i think before things ended fulkt. The first time was when I was 17, the day of my birthday. When I tell you i lost it, i really did. I attempted suicide and felt like i couldn’t live without them, The second time was a few mouths later, and third time was a few months before I turned 18, I belive 5 months before covid started, what made it different the last time was that, I ended things, well mostly my best friend wrote everything and I just sent it while crying.

It was hard. I will say, and kitkat still comes back from time to time, i would be lying if i didn’t say i didn’t love him, but.. together we hurt eachother. Being out the worst in eachother.

i am 22 now and i am still trying to process what that was. I mean last time I spoke to kitkat i was 20.

I dont know if I blame him, but i also dont blame myself. After all i never meet this guy in person in my life, all these years of suffering and pain was through a screen. I just think the two of us where young and stupid. There was nothing at all, nada. the marrige thing he mentioned it once when I was 17 and every day i started to go to the airport waitibg for him to come, hoping he would one day arrive in my own delusion. He never did of course, how would he, he was just 18 and mentioned it off hand never confirmed it. But to me it felt real.

I guess I was just far too into him for my own good, i mean he was the reason i moved to Canada so that we could live together there. but I suppose I never trully left Canada. What life does to you, huh?

But oh well, I can just laugh about it, The wounds are old scars for now lol, have a funny picture of me when i was 18 to brighten up your day

wven back them i was a funny guy, some thibgs never change XD

[coffeesleep-ooc]

Kachina’s name is funny

Its 2 am and i cant stop thinking about this and i need to get it out bc every single time i look at her name i think of this and can’t even enjoy the storyline aaaaaa lmao

So! We’ve seen that genshin has a history of making up the most bizarre names ever, like idek what happened after inazuma or if sumeru’s names are this funny (idk much about the region it’s inspired in so forgive me for being uneducated), BUT, i do know this: there’s a poor npc in fontaine literally called Book, just Book, wtf genshin, there’s a lot of npcs and pplcalled weird things, and with Natlan that’s wven more obvious that while genshin team does great stuff for plotlines and inspiration for each region, they just say WHATEVER WHEEEEE for names. Bc, who calls themselves/their children Boba? Like wtf?! I’m not even mad about it just why??

I play the game in spanish btw, and Boba is like calling yourself silly or stupid, a friend told me that the English equivalent was also something along those lines so we know this is on purpose? Again wtf lmao

Then there’s the npc called Umi, isn’t that ocean in japanese? And said npc is from the ocean tribe dont get me wrong, if we want to make an accurate “inspiration” from America (America is a continent, ill throttle the person that says its a country thanks) it makes sense to have lots of names that come from different places bc we do have a mix of cultures that resulted in today’s life, but it doesn’t make any sense in Natlan’s whole description, bc these ppl are described as ppl that don’t go out of their country at all? They do receive visitors and i imagine one or two would probably want to stay but it’s still strange, noted, Umi is not the only strange name i’ve seen but i dont keep a notebook with all of genshin’s lore/plot/naming/etc holes bc i would have to make it a full time job. So far a couple things make no sense to me, BUT ALSO! Natlan is culturally rich and filled with stuff i approve, i mean, i like it so far, the legends, myths and way of interaction between characters is rivh and meaningful, i especially loved a quest about a shadow needles bc it felt like revisiting old myths from my memory!

the main quest relating to Kachina is also very interesting and despite it being complete fiction, the way the underworld is constructed is also reminiscent of myths and legends - ik its not called underworld, sorry, its 2am i forgot the name - that place felt to me like one of the scary tales ppl traditionally tell each other but with a very Teyvat element mixed in, and that’s good in my book

there’s also the apparent mix of maya, inca and aztecas in culture and storytelling? And its also true that America has more stories about wars and warriors known to ourselves and the rest of the world? I’d probably have much more to say about this if i had slept, but there are no towns named Fighting soul in my country for no reason, which i find funny and sad af bc wars are shitty excuses to steal and do awful awful things, but whatever. There’s also the way they captured the behavior of ppl in the coasts, kudos to them for that, obviously things irl are not always that good or pretty and some parts of America do have a lot of poverty bc corruption is also shit, but it is true that ppl (i’ve met) in the coast is much mote laidback than in the city, more prone to random music and parties and dancing, big big parties too, the surf part i have never seen in my country so no comments there

some stuff (like the food) is a bit so so for me (im still wondering where shrimp tacos were invented wtf, there’s also too much corn which i find hilarious), and im not even gonna talk about the saurian stuff bc his post is already long enough without talking about Kachina

anyways! in general i really liked it.

now, why is Kachina a weird name for me?

Bc my mother tongue is Spanish

the thing is, idk how many countries with spanish as their main language would have this two problems (or three…maybe)

nunber 3 and less important is the K, it’s overused in Natlan and i find it funny bc many ppl here use the c instead, the k it’s actually more rare in names unless your name is Katheryn or unusual (i once heard the name Ikza and I believe its cool, just not common)…just a thought but: Quinich sounds too much like Quiche so that’s why ill allow Kinich but the qu is way more vommon

number 2 the Ka is just fine, but the China. I just…China is a countey and I can’t help but think of it! Especially bc in spanish it aounds the exact same

number 1 and my biggest concern wity her name, and this is way more personal but I JUST CANT UNSEE IT! In my country we sometimes refer to young ppl as chino or china which is also the way to call ppl from China (probably not coincide but I haven’t researched why this happened to the slang in the first place) so maybe when someone is not listening to you or when they are being tricky or hot headed its bot rare flr someone else to say “¡Este chino/a!” Like saying “this little troublemaker!” Or smth like “¡esta china no hace caso!” Which means “this girl won’t listen/obey!” You could even say “la china de allá” which would mean you are pointing to a girl that is most definitely not chinese but it’s in your field of vision

its not used to denigrate anyonebut it is commonly used as slang by both adults and kids, sometimes even elderly will use it but in more informal situations…

this is why, it feels so damn weird to keep reading and hearing Kachina, sometimes i think im reading ‘pa aca china” kinda “come here kid” and other times im reading the equivalent of ka-girl

I obviously don’t blame the developers or genshin team for not knowing this (i do blame them for Poisson-Fish, Livre-Book, Boba-Silly, etc etc) but i just cant unsee it, even in serious situations its so weirdly funny and awkward

im re-baptizing her Kachi in my mind

someone save me from this misery 😂😂😂😂

[yb-cringe]

alright wybie here's a free ask to talk my ear off about fitpac GO

this is like a trap isnt it ih gos ok yea

the thing that gets me abt fitpac is that its not that deep. and i dont mean that in an insulting way or that their impacts on one another arent expansive and hugely helpful but i mean it in that like. theres no catch. i love spiderbit for their complexity i love fitpac for their simple, slow, love

that by no means is me insinuating its not got its edges though. theyre just. sweet.

i think both of them have a lot of trauma when it comes to imprisonment and just general fear for their lives and while that could be said for a lot of people on the server i think whats important is that they’ve recognized that in each other? or at least fit has from what ive seen

and pac (and mike tbf) need a constant right now. things are crazy people are disappearinf theres no stability but they can always trust that fit will be there and he will listen and more importantly that he SEES them and will defend them

i think my thoughts abt them boil down to ‘pac needs consistency. a solid rock. he needs a recognizable pattern that doesnt change so he can have a safety net’ and ‘fit spent so long in survival he doesnt know how to just Live and he needs someone to be patient with him’

and its not easy for Either of them especially right fucking now. whats happened is that fit is trying to be the solid foundation for a bunch of people and its wearing him thin. and pac is just speedrunning traumas.

god the babysteps thing will forever be imprinted on the back of my eyes tho. like yeah fit needs to go rly fucking slow. hes a traumatized single father and hes fucking cautious about everything. always has been. letting someone into his life and giving them space in his heart is a big fucking deal. he just cannot afford to make that choice lightly. hell even ramón had to be patient for a bit

whats the fuckin saying like. fell first but he fell harder? wheres the ‘he fell first but didnt wanna think about it until he accepted it at which point he fell so fucking hard it would ruin him to lose it’ thats qfit. he literallt cannot even say the words date or romance or love or wven really Like in a romantic context about pac because shit will get too real and he needs to go slow rven if he has to FORCE HIMSELF to move slowly.

gkd i dont even know where to start with pac. he needs consistency so bad. and mike was that- mike IS that. pac is someone who needs company he needs someone to be near especially lately after his whole kidnapping thing where he was alone in that fuckin room after whatever they did to him—

hes been through so much shit and he just needs someone to stay- someone to turn to and know he’s got slmeone on his side. like pac in his own right is sort of paranoid —not the kind of way he has been recently though.

but like if you had to force tazercraft into designations of head and heart, pac would be the mind and mike would be the heart. pac is thinking ahead, he’s trying to force himself to move on because he knows mike wont, he’s trying to avoid doing things too crazy to keep them off the radar— he’s keeping them out of trouble when he can remember to.

not to say hes not chaotic and passionate in his own right but yknow. comparisons. but hes a thinker yjnow he plans for the future and if he doesnt have someone to be his safety net he fucking panics and doesnt do things he wants to because he’s worried about being caught out alone without any support

all of this to say that he doesnt Really think of romance more then Fun because he needs safety nets first. which is also kind of why the moving slow thing works for him because he’s definitely not going to realize how in deep he is like love wise until its too late. and he probablt cant even fuckin risk it right now considering yhh like Everything going on.

[fantomechat]

Final fest idea future-present-past

I know that a lot of people have said this already but this is what I think they will do/ what I would do.

Future/Present/Past

I know that it sounds backwards but Shiver is def more future and I would switch Frye and Big man but future/past/present sounds worse but that would be the ideal team for me.

Future- 1. next gen, like if the current idols were to have kids, it would be them, or at the very least kids their age. We could see adult donny and shelly, Harmony could be older, this is self indulgent but I would be down for a pearlina child (besides 8). I dont know what the story would be, maybe something to do with the zapfish again but someone new, it could be more about the metro, but idk how that would work exactly. It could also be virtual… idk. 2. Far into the future. Squid sisters, off the hook, deep cut, they are all legendary, but many many many idols have taken their role since then. Captain 3 is nearing the cuttlefish's age. Its a completely new cast with only mentions of long times ago when these idols were in their prime/alive. This woul dbe great for a new species, as octos have been basically fully integrated and not a new group is the minority(the cycle continues and such).

Present- 1. More of what we have. We see all the idols again, maybe not as big but they are all existing, doing something in the world. We would probably see the zapfish get taken again, similar formula but basically what theyve been doing, maybe we get 4 idols, new species maybe? Idk but you get the idea. 2. Same time period, different part of the world. We could have oth world tour mentioned, maybe instead of squids and octos, this city is a whole different species, like we could get sharks or vampire squids, probably in addition to the pre existing squids and octos though. But this would be a great opportunity for more species to be added without having to be like “oh they escaped/ are being integrated” again. The story could be basically anything, it could be something to go with the other species history, or maybe it can play into the second place, like if future wins then it is about planning, if its past then maybe more on the history, but it takes place right around now.

Past- 1. Octarian soldier. I would say squidbeak, but there is only so much you can do with Callie and Marie, you would need to retroactively add a whole agent… yeah. I think this could be sick, we could have to fight inklings, we can have Mariana come back, een some agent 8 references. I think that the goal would either be to get out of the octarian society or like be an elite. Maybe this is where they could make choices you make change the story… but that might be a bit ambitious for splatoon. I can still hope. 2. The past past. Like og squidbeak splatoon. You are in a war with the octarians, or inklings. Maybe we get 2 story modes. Who knows. But this takes place long before the squid sisters, gramps isnt even a father yet. We could see how they got to the separation, we would have skinny jude. The hud would be kind of bornign but I would king of pokemon legends arceus, we could wven have other characters ancestors show up and stuff. 3. Like before inklings and octolings were fully humanoid. Like this is crazy unrealistic and they would be starting from scratch but it would be sick for them to be like “ok we are going back to prehistoric times, no new hair styles, no current gear, you dont even have the news, you have to read everything on scrolls.” like that would probably sink the franchise but you have to admit, it they really went through with it that takes balls

[x-galactic-star-x]

i just imagine a small idea with Cayde

this is gonna be a little messy but bear with me

also this is gonna be sad so just saying

mention of dying

Stuck together

lets say, you are dying. you followed Cayde wven tho you dont have a light as he had to got to the one place where exos are born and broken.

he went with Banshee to discover sometging and you sneaked after them.

they got surprise Vex attacked and cause they didnt tought that you were there they didnt planned to hwar someone beinf shot at and injured badly.

you are no guardian, you dont have any other chance, or resurect. you have one life.

he hated this. he was actually mad at you but the worry was stronfer as he held you.

Banshee evwn as he was forgetful he kbow what he doing most of the time, as he told them there is a chance to save you.

you might not like it but there is no time to loose.

as they ran around the place Banshee found the machine that could help.. but the problem is, there isnt any functional shall nearby and the closes to them might be way too far and it would be too late to get.

while you are slowly loosing sight and concousness Cayde lied you down on the table..

then everything went dark with the voice of Cayde and Banshee yelling..

suddenly you wake up.. gasping. . where are you? what happene? why is it so cold? is it cold? warm? you dont know and as you looked around you saw a guy with spikes on his head.. it feels like you know him.. he's talking to you.

he telling you to breath.. breath? ok ok breath.. but then you looked down.

wait

this isnt your legs.. you slowly turn around and saw.. you.. on the table.. with weird helmet with a lot of vires on your head.

but.. what? you look down and you slowly realize..

"CAYDE?? WHAT? What happened to me??!?" you shouted in a panic as Banshee tried to calm you down.

"kiddo i need you to listen to me-"

he tried but cling to your gear.. Cayde's gear.. fuck how did this happened??

"Hey hey hey. listen to me sweetheart-" you gasped as you backes away into the corner of the room and curled up in a ball. you can hear Cayde..

"Listen... its all right ok? Banshee have everything under control. we managed to save you, ok?" he spoke in your head as you tried to catch your breath.. even tho you dont exactly need it anymore but its a comfort..

"listen.. we will fix this we will help you but for now you suck.. with me.. and in my body." you want ro cry.. but you cant ahed tears.. not anymore.. you want him near.. but he is near he's literally with you.. but you want his arms around you... like it was used to be..

"Cayde.. im.. this is wrong.."

"i had to save you somehow.."

"i want you here.."

"im right here."

"you know what i mean."

".. i know sweetheart.. i know.."

you felt your body goes numb as all you can do is watch.. as he took control.

"we'll fix this.. i swear."

______________________

i would say it would be the same as uploading an exo mint to another, and honestly i just imagined that as a human you would be 100% be rly panicky if you are suddenly in the same body as your lover/best friend..

and the lonely feeling about wanting to bw in their arms but you cant.. cause you are in the same body.. but its just not the same.

he wont be able to play with your hair or mess it up like he used to and he cant rly cuddle up with you until you get your own body..

my brain just kept imagining someone else panicing in Cayde body as they freaking out being in his body and controlling it.. like it felt wrong. that its not them.

but anyway, enjoy this idea, i dunno if i should take credit of it cuz im sure someone else tought about this idea already

tootles❤️♠️

[nightgarla]

// vent :/ about my current state of mind bc its bothering me so much and i keep monologuing about it instead of sleeping

ik i never talk to anyone on here so no ones rly gonna care that much but i just need to communicate what im thinking to anyone so i can sleep

but yea im currently in a crazy possibly covid worsened episode which is why all my art is old stuff i already scheduled, and i fucking HATE IT HERE !!!!!!!

i havent talked to my one (1) friend in days and from the stray notifications i catch hes getting frustrated and i hate it bc i feel rly bad and i wanna talk to him but i just CANT !!!!!!! like i literally dont have the energy for any form of socialization and its not like i just dont wanna talk to him its literally i csnt talk to anyone rn or i will cry and or pass out it sucks

and whats worse is i cant wven like justify or explain being gone bc when i have episodes like this my brain is just in a constant i hate talking i hate all people i hate having friends i hate my friends state which is NOT TRUE i love people i love having friends but i just get so tired and i dont know why bc no one else seems to struggle like that and idk how to like communicate that to someone without upsetting them :(

and it sucks cuz i don even have a therapist anymore bc NOT A SINGLE ONE gave me like a piece of paper or something so i could talk and the last we heard from bup was they "put me in the queue" for a neuropsych eval, all i have now is the bald commune man that brings us french bread everh other week but hes more a driver and occasional infodump bin than anything (no offense ily torbjörn <3)

i also got artblock again so i cant even make myself feel better by drawing little guys :((((

[trnktgh0st]

i really need to figure out how to make more local friends

i need people to spend time with and hang out with

i have one person locally that puts in effort to hang out with me wven if i flake

another friend who I tell I want to spend time with and need them to let me know when they're free but they never follow up

and then someone who keeps canceling or not reaching iut to hang out at all unless Ive asked

i feel so alone it fucking hurts

i want people who want to do things eith me and take pictures together. i really hate that when i had a large friend group it ended up being people who secretly hated me and shit talked me. i hate that my local friends ended up being abusers and like the scum of the earth.

i want to alao maybe find another locak partner. i want to be someone's puppy. i dont get to express that part of me really and its starting to make me s a d. but that is also e x t r a hard because i need to have a good connection.

im big in my feelings right now and just wish thisnwasnt so hard

[amourcheol]

before i reblog, i want to give you ALL the flowers in the world. i just finished reading the monster of a fic called the great war and YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. there are no words that can amount to how much i adore this fic. i love lengthy word counts done right (god knows how much long fics i got excited over before them being disappointing or boring as a reader) and i, most importantly, love enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, historical aus done right !!

lets get this out of the way first GRRR WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK SNARK GRERR RAHH HOWL BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF GENERAL SEUNGCHEOL VICTOR OF VENICE I NEED ABYSMALLY.

okay. now that i can safely get that out of my system, LOVE LOVE LOVEEE everything about this fic. theres something so sweet abt men being written unrealistically (aka respectful and honorable whattt??? out of this world tbh) im joking ,, but i did absolutely love how you made cheol so strongly standing for his wife. the slow burn that really did the tag justice (it BURNT), the ENEMIES TO LOVERS DONE RIGHT!?! LIKE YESSS !!! they actually did want to kill each other and the yelling and arguing leading up to the first kissing scene CHEFS KISS like that's literally the epitome of writing, like is it really an e2l if there isn't a intensely written argument before the first sign of intimacy!?!?

throughout reading this story, all i could think abt was how could i ever put into the words the justice you served. allowing reader to be a strong character yet so eloquently bringing to light the struggles she would still face from just being a woman, to seungcheol using his power to stand FOR her. an honorary mention of the "Careful." he would reply to the Councillor after the panicking scene from the Florence mention INCREDIBLE!! it gave everything and more!! the character development from both sides, venus and mars foreshadowing, the subtleties that only slow burn could provide. i genuinely wish i could give a way better review than this but unfortunately im still speechless due to how beautiful this story was so just pls take this dreary review and understand that im so so in love and i adore you so much for the amount of work you put out into this, from the visuals and the descriptions, the perfect build up, the amazing writing of e2l and reflections– just EVERYTHING. you created a masterpiece <3

brb literally pulling my hair out till I got scraps left .

IMNSORRY ):£3!3!3 IM GONAN SVREAM SHIT CRY ?:£3!3!3 THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER ):&:!3! 😭😭😭😭😭 First of all UR SO RIGHT … I never find huge fics anywhere and if I do they’re just …: YAWN ‼️‼️ I’m so glad u love those tropes they’re my BIGGEST guilty pleasures 😭 tho I can’t even lie I don’t feel guilty at ALL for historical! Aus

FUCKCJFKDDJD STOP I SVREAMED can u tell that cheol as a military general haunts me at night … I fear I am able to write another 40k for him ..: but ur so right tho my biggest biggest swoon moments come from men dying and sacrificing themselves for their lovers and I just !!! Seungcheol would absolutely die for his wife and this information jumps me in my sleep paralysis FR .. I’m so so happy u agree w me about the hatred I NEED HATRED FOR E2L OR ITS NOT E2L !! and PLS another guilty pleasure is screaming in each others faces before eating each other up … i will not be held accountable …

STOP I COULD CRY ??? thank u for appreciating the little bits of the fic 😭😭💖 that scene was incredibly hard to write and I’m glad people like it so much !! PLEASE DONT WVEN APOLOGISE ??? This is more than I could ever ask for you are truly so kind 😞💖💖 thank you for taking the time to read and send this unbelievably sweet message may or may not be thinking about this for the next 700 business days 😍😍💖