#he threw me out of a haze that for sure wouldve otherwise ended up with me bleeding out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

artisanalpeanutbutter · 5 months ago

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Not gonna lie

I dont think I'll ever forgive my parents for how poorly they mishandled our dog's health. I constantly felt as though it was my fault even though I quite literally couldn't do any more than i did. I still feel as though it was my fault. He deserved so much fucking better. I love him, and he had to endure such horrible skin problems because my parents refused to take him to a better vet because they were convinced the one they went to was fine. Even though I protested them for YEARS. I tried so fucking hard to get them to see what was going on but they just let it get worse and worse. They would never listen. And I couldn't take him somewhere on my own because I was a kid with no money. My sibling was too busy to notice. And my mom couldn't accept that it was her fault, and that she could've done better. I think she knows now but is still denying it to herself. My dad, quite frankly, didn't care.

#thinking about it right now because of how neglectful ive felt in regards to my dog's teeth #even though it again is the result of my parents not caring #or not wanting to realize #for fucks sake. they didnt take the other family dog to the vet for YEARS until i coincidentally #almost killed myself and they decided to do things that would make me happy #and why didnt they? because they didnt want to admit they were being neglectful in that regard #but i think it was a wake up call for them #when he had to get a quarter or more of his teeth removed as a result.#im so worried about my dog #they wouldnt LET me get his teeth cleaned for years #and when i got him we had agreed that they would pay for the teeth #and i really thought they would show up. despite the fact that it took me three fucking years to get my own cavity filled bc my #mom is insane about health stuff and im too fucking mentally ill to get a nine to five #and it ended up being a root canal because of it #and i told them time and time again that i would spend my money from my grandparents on his teeth #in a fucking instant #but i dont hsve control of the account. because of course i dont. and i cant help but feel like i failed my dog #even though i dont even know if he'll even need more than one tooth pulled yet #he's everything to me #he keeps me alive #he threw me out of a haze that for sure wouldve otherwise ended up with me bleeding out #so im not being dramatic. hes the reason i get up every day and get out of the house and take care of myself. because i know he loves me and #depends on me. and DON'T say animals dont love the same because for all intents and purposes love is being able to depend on people. that's #what love is. love is about caring for people and being cared for in return #it doesnt matter if he doesnt comprehend things the same. he comforts me when im sad. he lays on me when i have migraines #that's love to me. and i loce that little guy wven when he's an annoying little shit. hes my bro yk?#hes there for me when i need him so I'll always be there for him. shoutoit to my dog for being himself #also ik he does it because i care for his needs. but like. what is platonic and familial love or like love in general i guess if not #reciprocating care? even if it's not the same kind of care it's still care. you provide what the other person needs when they cant provide #it for themself.

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