#I COULDNT CARE LESS ABOUT YOUR FUCKING STORE

[fuck-customers]

i've been working retail for 5 years now and have been an associate, stocker, lead, etc etc everything you can think of. tell me why i've never had my intelligence and demeanor insulted at any of the places i've worked before but suddenly when i start working for green discount store, suddenly i'm an idiot?

the store is located in a low-income area so there is a slight "issue" w theft but honestly i couldnt care less abt the store's reputation. if you wouldnt have eaten tonight otherwise PLEASE steal food you need it more than the CEO needs another dollar. i'll be aloof on purpose just be sneaky enough about it. however. one of the managers has noticed my stance on this and now is making it her job to pick on me for it every chance she gets.

she will do something big and distracting and startle me like waving something in my face or clapping real loud and when i'm like "wtf" she'll be like "what if while u were distracted a customer ran off w a bag full of stolen food. can you live with the guilt" and will get Really Fucking Mad when i say "very easily"

like. girl. you're low-income too. how can you not understand the concept of you and your fellow humans needing and deserving to eat and be clean MORE than this company deserves to make money off of that need. i don't know how that's a radical and asinine thought.

when you, a person in the same situation, tell me, "people that steal even if they have fewer options are degenerates and going to hell," why are you here? quit retail. become a cop and get paid to punish poor people for being poor since that seems like it would have been your first choice had you had the opportunity.

this job is disposable to me bc i can easily find another doing the exact same thing as i'm doing now and for the time i'm here i would rather assist in putting food in mouths and putting soap on bodies than being a snitch. like are you kidding me

[skipper1331]

Book love or Books and Love? // Alessia Russo

There were many things you enjoyed but your one true passion was reading. You could read every hour of the day and everywhere. A big thanks to your grandpa. When you were a kid he often read to you. It all started with "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". And even all these years later it was still one of your favourites

Now some years later, you help your grandpa in his bookstore. It is a small store, old designs, but everyone loves it. It is a special place and everyone would find a book they like. You know that store better than anything. You know books better than anything. The customers love you. They enjoy talking to you, hear your recommandations and your true opinions. And even if you didn't like a book, you would never talk bad about it or crictize the author. You respected every work.

In school though you were invisible. You had one friend: Ryan. He‘s a nice guy and you‘ve been friends since primary school.

And then there was Alessia. Alessia Russo.

The girl you had a crush on. She was popular. Had many friends. An athlet. The complete opposite of you. And still she had your attention.

It was a rainy day, nobody was walking down the streets and as usually you were in the store. You were sorting some books when you heard the bell. The bell when someone entered. Still behind bookshelf you said: "hey, how can i help you?" with the sweetest voice. After saying it, you stepped infront of the bookshelf. And there she was, soking wet, eyes sky blue and smiling. "um- hi" she said, "I dont need anything. I- i just didn't want to walk through the rain anymore." while wiping the rain droplets off her face. You saw her shivering but you were too shy to say anything. After all she's Alessia Russo. „Okay“ was your only respond. „If you need anything, let me know.“ You turned around and decided to go on with your work. You didn't want to have to do it tomorrow.

The whole time you felt her eyes on you but you didn't dare to look her way. Your ears and face would have turned crimson red. Like actually crimson. At the moment it was just a light blush. "I‘m sorry. I know you, don‘t I?"

"we go to the same school"

"I knew it" she smiled brightly "you‘re always sitting at the window in english class, right? Thats you.“

“Yeah.“ you said while sorting the last book in the shelf. Proud of herself her smile only grew wider. ”i didn’t know you work here. I walk by often.“

“Well, now you know. I work here almost everyday.“ you giggled. Why the fuck did I giggle? You couldnt help it. Alessia let you feel something. And that was the end of the conversation. You two stared at one another and nobody dared to break eye contact. After what felt like an eternity Alessia did though. It had stopped raining. ”I should probably go“ she whispered. Her eyes glued to the floor. You didnt answer. You wouldn‘t have known with what anyway. ”Bye Y/n“ and with that she left the store. Wow. She knew your name.

Since that day she came to visit you after every training. She would just sit there and talk to you or watch you while you were interacting with customers. With every minute she spent with you, she fell more for you. The way your hair fell, the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about a book, the way you smiled. She was smitten.

After months of her regular visits she couldn‘t help it anymore. She wanted you to be hers. And hers only. In school she watched you like a hawk when you interacted with Ryan. Or more like everytime. When Ryan wasn‘t there she watched you with heart eyes and a lovesick smile. Even her friends noticed it. But she couldn‘t care less. But when Ryan was there she turned into a mad girl. She didn‘t like the way he looked at you. She didn‘t like the way you laughed at his jokes. She didn‘t like the way he would touch you. It was all a friendly manner though. But not in her eyes. It was too much for her. She hated it. So that day she didn‘t aim to score goals in training, she aimed to make you hers.

After training she walked as fast as she could without running to the store. To you. Like always. As soon as you heard the bell you knew it was Alessia. She always came at same time. ”Lessi, I finished the book I told you about. It was so good! The way it ended was just wow. I even-” you wanted to tell Alessia about the end of the book as soon as you read the last word. ”I want to read a book!“ she said. Her voice was hard maybe even harsh. The whole day she waited to see you, to tell you that she‘s in love with you.

She was mad. She didn‘t intened to say that. She hated reading. You knew that. So you were kind of shocked. "Lessi? Are you alright?“ She was nervous. „I- i want a book. A book you like. No. One that you love. No. Romance. A lovestory about a girl who works in a bookstore and another girl that came there because of the weather.“ she rambled. But you couldn’t stop her. You didn’t want to. She was gesturing wildly with her hands, looking everywhere but you, walking up and down. Her feelings took over. At first you didn‘t understand what she was talking about. You were caught up in her rambling and walking that you didn't really hear her specific wish about the "book". But when you did, you knew. Your heart was beating so damn fast. ”Alessia“ you whispered. Afraid of your own voice, afraid of what could happen. She stopped dead in her tracks. You rarely called her Alessia anymore. One step then two. And some more. You were standing infront of her. Really close. Her eyes were glued to the floor. A habit you knew from her. Carefully your hands found a way to her cheeks ”Do you really want a book?“ Your question was nothing more than a whisper. But it was loud and clear. Her eyes found yours. They told you so much. Yet you needed to hear it. ”No…“ taking a deep breath ”I want you.“ Alessia Russo wanted you. The cheeks of both of you turned red. Slowly you lent forward, never breaking eye contact. It was a simple peck. She didn‘t react. She couldn‘t. Her heart was beating faster than it was healthy. Her eyes closed to take in the moment. Your lips were heaven. Soft. Perfectly fitting.

When she came back to her senses she grabbed your waist, lunged forward and pressed her lips onto yours. She poured every feeling in that kiss and you felt that. It was perfect. Alessia was perfect. She was everything you could‘ve dreamt of.

And who would have thought that your book love could bring you your actual lover.

—————————

[meyhew]

While I do think it would be great for celebrities to use their platform for Palestine, you have to admit it would be career suicide for many of them. Look at Scream actress Melissa Barrera. These people have worked hard to be where they are and they could lose a lot by being political.

frankly… i couldnt care less abt what they could or could not potentially lose. missing out on future career opportunities is not even anywhere close to people losing their lives forever. entire families being wiped out. yes it sucks that we live in a world where speaking up for justice and humanity means worrying about your livelihood but im not talking about working class ppl—many of whom are actively organizing and jeopardizing their lives and incomes btw. who CARES if chris hemsworth or zendaya don’t land new roles in the next five year or if taylor swift’s label drops her. every single one of these people have more money than they need, more money than anyone needs. and if they do get blacklisted so fucking badly that they never work again in their field… who cares! they can go back to school and get a degree. find a 9 to 5. stock shelves at the grocery store idc work like normal people. genuinely idk how many times and in how many different ways i have to say this but i dont care about how hard life could get for these people. who cares if a multimillionaire doesn't make more millions they won’t spend on anything real. they will be fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but they value money and luxury over black and brown lives and that makes them shitty people. you cant convince me they have any integrity when they had to walk past a swarm of protestors and didn’t have the decency to look even marginally ashamed. students are putting their futures on the line and these mfs are worried they might not make another hit. like get real. sorry to sound like a cunt but these people have no problem “being political” when theyre telling the public to vote blue so idc they all suck and if u dont like acknowledging that then u suck too. and btw… a lot of people are more likely to support pro palestinian artists than not so they can shove that faux fear up their ass

[reckless-blossoms]

sorry i keep making posts and deleting them the current political landscape has got me feeling FUCKed

im so Fucking frustrated by how everyone is handling everything. and the worst part is, i agree with everyone too.

i understand wanting to let go and be hyped for harris and i understand hating her and still refusing to participate in this broken system.

but you have no choice. you are a citizen. you participate by being alive in the US, paying US taxes, working a US job, buying from US stores with your US dollars. abstinence from voting is a choice. there is no other way, currently

aside from The Revolution. which will not be flawlessly executed by november, so can we not just vote in harris first then go about that some more?

idk. i dont think people grasp how horrific and bloody the revolution will be. and how long it will be. i think some people want bad things to happen to other people so other people get mad enough to revolt. i would rather prevent as much suffering as possible than use the suffering people as a chess piece to get what i want. right? but perhaps voting for harris is also playing chess with people?

i dont know. im scared. i dont want to lose my hrt. i dont want people to have to use wires for abortions. i dont want people to die in genocides. i dont want people to be hurt and sad. and that stuff will either not happen, or will happen less, with harris. trump literally just fucking said christians won't have to vote next time. he mask off said that he wants to dismantle voting entirely. whether he can doesnt really fucking matter. because what if he can? what if this really is the last election we can ever even vote in?

i just. if voting didn't work, then why have people had to fight tooth and nail for the right? why do you think women couldn't vote? why black people couldnt vote? why felons have no or restricted voting rights? why gerrymandering exists? why the electoral college exists? if voting makes no difference, then why?

perhaps i'll regret posting this in a few years and look back and cringe but fuck man. why do leftists care more about Looking Good than just being reasonable humans. i get so mad and frustrated in leftist spaces and i cant even understand anyone because they're all dancing around and sugar coating their points because if they say they disagree with you then they're scared that means someone will see them as problematic. fuck. i just have a lot of thoughts. and am too autistic for all this. im just frustrated. no one says the things i feel.

i dont know. i just somehow feel like no one thinks like how i think. everyones all in one side or another. but maybe there are no sides. we're just people in a fucked system who will be fucked in all other holes if we don't do anything in the system

[bleubourbon]

I almost started throwing shit today and telling everyone what I really think

We talked about a calm and peaceful Christmas. But a month ago my Aunt ended up in the hospital. Several states away. She's been sick for no less than 2 years and has refused to go to the Dr. She had been taking massive amounts of Imodium. It was no longer working. She couldn't stand up without it not working. She and my Uncle left for their winter local anyway. Their WI ter local where no one is. No family or friends to help if they are in trouble. We'll it all hit the fan and surprise, she has cancer and is not able to travel home. I will spare the details but my Aunt and Uncle are in the running for a Darwin award.

All this is hitting my Mom hard because she has NO control. She HAS to have control. She calls it she can't ' help' but really she can't be there yelling at everyone and making a scene because her health won't allow it. But she talks to her brother nightly, and he apparently can't be bothered to get a notebook to write down the Dr names or what meds they want to prescribe his wife. Nope not heartless I am pissed at the stupidity. He literally said oh its another thing for me to carry.

Dude, if you want my sympathy because you love your wife so much, and now someone told you she is dying because apparently you were too stupid to notice before now, try not to tell me that carrying a fucking notebook to take notes about her care is too much for you!

He actually expects his sister, my mother, to take and maintain the information for him. My mother is not a well woman.

I know she wants to support him but fuck HE WANTS HER TO JUST DEAL WITH IT FOR HIM. HE COULDNT HELP HIS OWN MOTHER AND LEFT IT ALL ON MY MOTHER WTF

This brings us to Christmas. About 3 weeks ago my Mom decided our quiet 3 person Christmas was now a party.

She wants to have her niece over to give her something happy while her mother I so ill.

Saint, right?

Queue 3 weeks of how hard life is trying to get ready for party

3 weeks if what I have to do for party

3 weeks of my husband bitching that my cousin will bring her boy friend he hates to Christmas. Which includes 3 weeks of I'm not going

All while I must work to pay all our bills which include about $700 of beer a month and another couple hundred of cash back from grocery shopping to be used on scratch off lotteries

Did I mention I work in the 7th circle of Hell?

So we had the party. I got yelled at randomly for the sin of asking a question while my Mom was walking. Not a "wait I need to finish waht I was doing" A basic how can you be so fucking stupid as to ask me where something is in my house while I am walking through the kitchen. I got yelled at because I could not produce shredded cheddar cheese from one of the fridge bins. It wasnt there. I started to look in the other and got screamed at because I was looking in the wrong bin why wasnt I listening? She just sat down!!! Cheese was in the bin I was looking in. I got attitude for that. I did not move the cheese BTW.

There was some other drama that resulted in me being told that this is why one should always start early in case things go wrong (apparently I started something late). Don't remember what as I think I've begun to dissociate

People loved the party. I didn't put stuff away quick enough which I was passive aggressively told in front of some of the guests.

Also - this is the coldest Christmas in 30 years means. All the presents had to be distributed prior to Xmas because we may get snow ( we didnt) but basically, xmas morning was nothing. Just I got up late, and I didn't tell Mom that there is meat in Lasagne. So she had no meat. We talked. She got confused or forgot or whatever. She isn't having dangerous forgetfulness, just run of the mill she doesn't pay attention which is one of her lovable traits. Thank goodness the grocery store was open because the husband started bitching that I can't make lasagne with no meat. Vegetarians beg to differ Dear, but sure I will get dressed and run to the store in Xmas day.

Then I clearly didn't start dinner early enough. And my husband proceeds to tell I was using the wrong amount of sauce. Also my list of sins included:

Wanting to cook 2 boxes of pasta instead of one. Not getting a pot with a lid out for meatballs (we had meatballs, but I couldn't leave the meat out of the lasagne). He kept up a running commentary in the gas stove top as well.

I also had to help Mom operate Netflix because in 3 years, she still doesn't get it dispite multiple lessons and load pictures to Facebook, also 3 years and multiple lessons while making lasagne.

Cool cool - but I almost lost it

Everyone liked dinner. I did dishes.

And now the cable company is raising prices and I must read letter to figure it out. I 'made' her change cable plans. No no, my Dad died and I said she needed faster internet so if she needed me I could also work remotely at her house. I said I would pay. She won't take money. Cable compa y said - oh if you make changes you have to change everything (i.e. GOTCHA !! Pay us more that plan doesn't exist anymore and you can't just change your internet)

But yeah so now she has a plan price and the price increases are a la carte and not all components of her plan are in the a la carte list. So it's sorta impossible to see what the increase will be. It was determined that I HAD to read this tonight

Fuck I'm tired. And I don't know the answers but I really think a good scream is in order. Except that will wake everyone up and I don't have the energy to explain.

Merry Christmas

[alittlesimp]

rant time 😍

[dulcetspace]

.

[ddejavvu]

personally i havent ever been called any pet names, so when it does happen (however nonchalantly) i malfunction like fuck. and now i cant stop thinking abt what Eddie would do with a s/o like that.

like before, almost there, and after getting together i think it’s just a thing he wouldn’t let go of, like he’d call you a name casually, CATCH ur reaction, and then just roll with it. keeps doing it until ur in a relationship and thereafter. he’d either be a massive tease or he’d dive in and just get soft like exaggerating it all type of soft just to see you fluster and I COULD NOT SURVIVE THAT. I COULDNT

he starts calling you princess 'cause you complain every time you have to get into his dusty ass van 😭 you open the doors and boom. instant weed smell. it smells like satan himself burped on you. you step into the van and your foot crunches an old water bottle and there's candy wrappers and roaches in the door slots and his glove compartment literally has a monster sized box of condoms that he couldn't possibly run through if he fucked the entire city and that leaves almost no room for anything you wanna stash in there. he refuses to clear cupholders for your drinks because his old drinks are in there, it's old coke from three days ago that's flat and syrupy but it's staying in there goddammit and you're just gonna have to hold your water in your lap, princess.

after a while of begging for him to clean it out or asking steve for a ride instead, you beg to clean it out. you tell him you'll do everything, you'll shampoo the damn mats to get the weed smell out, anything so that you didn't have to be hotboxed anytime he took you someplace.

he says no. just for the hell of it, really, to see you nearly lose your cool and punch him in the throat. he tells you that you'll just have to get used to it, your majesty, because nothing's changing.

It does change, though. One of the coke cups is gone next time, so you have a cupholder. And the roaches are missing from the door a few days later. now there's only one food wrapper stuck under the seat, and he grabs it in his fist when he hops out to get your door for you. He helps you down from the van with a very exaggerated my lady, and then throws it away. he throws it in the garbage.

that's how you know your complaining works. you keep doing it, you grumble about the weed smell, you gripe about the sticky armrests, and he fixes it. not before teasing you gratuitously with more variations of princess, but he only does that to see your eyes go wide.

when he asks you out for the first time, instead of a coke cup in the cupholder, there's flowers. they're handpicked and they're stored in a plastic cup he'd stolen from a diner a few years back, but they're beautiful. he tells you his princess deserves nothing less, and you still have the cup in your cupboard because he keeps bringing you flowers that you need a vase for.

you realize, after he offers you a backrub one night a few months into dating, that he's not calling you princess sarcastically anymore. he's treating you like one, smearing lotion over his hands and rubbing it carefully, meticulously into the knots in your back. You realize it again when he washes your hair for you or scrubs down your back, and presses a kiss to your wet shoulder, murmuring a soft love you, princess amidst the running water. he knows it heats up your cheeks, he knows it gets those butterflies in your belly fluttering, and he loves it.

he does it when he proposes, too. he looks up at you from where he's kneeling, Wayne's tie around his neck sloppily tied with all the care in the world, and he holds out the most beautiful ring. It's fit for a queen which is what you'll be now, it's perfect and shiny and just what you want, and he says marry me, princess?

[ask4mycashapp]

OOO WOULD A DATING JEFF X READER X EJ POLY HCs BE ALRIGHT?

yes yes yesssss! im gonna have fun w this one! these are just randoms hcs that came to my mind since you didnt specify what you wanted 🤷‍♀️. s/os can be interpreted as a pasta in this seeing as theyre friends with other pastas and are implied to live in slender mansion.

poly jeff tk and eyeless jack hcs!

• you guys whole dynamic is chaos ☠️.

• its literally ej and jeff on your top all the time and you messing w them 😭.

• jeffs not TOO bad hes just a little very jealous...

• like if you and ej even TRY to do something without him hes gonna be bothered. it could literally be something as small as grocery shopping.

• "you guys are going grocery shopping? without me? wow i thought this was a three person relationship, i guess you two dont care about me, huh?"

• he doesnt mean it, hes just really dramatic.

• dont even get me started on when you hang out with jane. hes so jealous. hell do his best to sabotage your day.

• hes ESPECIALLY pissed when ej goes to hang out with liu. hes scared jack will like his brother more than him.

• dw he gets over fast tho just give him a quick hug and kiss.

• now onto our beloved ej.

• jack just has the need to know exactly where the both of you are at all times. like he doesnt care if you do something just you and jeff, he couldnt care less, but what he does need to know is where you are.

• because what happens if someone kidnaps you? what happens if you get lost? what happens if what happened to him happens to you? what if-

• jacks never really been a relationship before so hes extremely paranoid. he just loves the both of you though he doesnt want jeff to know that so much and he cant stand the thought of losing you.

• when jeff doesnt remember to tell ej when hes going on a long mission or something he loses his shit.

• ej may be a sweetheart to you two but when hes mad? hes a fucking demon, literally.

• he does not care about anything. he goes to slenderman demanding to know where jeff is. he interrogates everyone at scalpel point until he finds out.

• and when he does find out? he goes to check and lovingly whoop jeffs ass.

• people get pissed at you and jeff for making them go through jacks wrath. jeff does it on purpose sometimes, just to fw them. you do too your just not as obvious as jeff.

• your a completely different story though.

•if you go somewhere and "forget" to tell ej he will still go bother everyone but when he finds you he doesnt do the same things he does to jeff.

• when ej finds you because he needs to confirm that people werent lying to him about where you are so he'll check everywhere until he finds you hell calm down. he might even be more clingy to make sure hes with you at all times to protect you.

• jeff and ej both are simps for you, too. anything you want them to do? its done. like anything you could ever want is yours.

• liu tries to use this to his advantage and hangs out with ej alot so jeff gets mad. jane does the same with you.

• liu and jane proudly say fuck jeff and that theyre team ej x y/n even though youre all together. they just want jeff to be mad.

• ben and tobi try to get things off of jeff and ej through you. ben'll be like, "heyy y/n! were friends, arent we? you should definetely get jeff to do the dishes for me <3."

• or tobi will say "y...y/n can you as...k jack to do this mi...mission for me?"

• ofc you say no. youre not trying to give your bfs extra work.

• but sometimes you hang out with jane, liu and ej without jeff to get him mad.

• and maybe sometimes youll go to the corner store without ej knowing every once in a while, so he can panic a little.

• overall jeff is kinda jealous, ejs protective and you like messing w them but you all love eachother <3.

im so stuck w my other writings so i just decided to have a little fun and make this. here u go 🤲🏼

masterpost

[teamjacobthot]

Dee anything that annoys you a lot

lots of things actually!!! I’m in a shitty mood rn so you caught me at the right time 💜 I’ll just list things until I feel better

when ceiling fans get dusty

dust in general

my family

when ppl say “I could care less” like no it’s you COULDNT care less bc you’re trying to emphasize that you don’t care

men with gross fingernails. like why are you pursuing me and there’s dirt under your nails. do u genuinely think you’re going to touch MY pussy w dirt underneath your fingernails

when i scoop up my dogs poop (i got a dog in september btw) and he barks at me for it??? like I’m tryna help YOU

when fanfic writers use a million different words to describe the mechanics of sex like dude idc i just wanna know if they love each other

the old ppl who call into my job

influencers

when I’m getting my nails done and my nail tech uses that nail drill and it touches my nail bed like omg that shit HURTS i hate it it happens every time and if i could stand to see myself w stubby nails I’d stop getting my nails done altogether

the fact that im not good at practical shit that would save me money and make my own life easier like cornrowing my hair or doing my own nails or cooking or changing a tire or general home repairs

jesy nelson

short coffin shaped nails

one kiss by dua lipa. it’s not a good song

pop music by british white girls in general. this does not apply to dua lipa or charli xcx tho

the fact that my leah fic won’t write itself and I told myself chapter 5 would be done tonight and it’s nOT

season 8 of modern family. I’m only like 4 episodes in but why is it so sexual??????

white pop music fans

anti vaxxers but especially how they don’t wear their masks and they don’t stay their ass in the house either

white rappers

when ppl say canon charlie is a great dad bc he’s not as negligent as renee. he’s still not that good of a parent. however tho when I write him I always attribute a lot of his hands-off parenting to his anxiety and knowledge of renee’s poor parenting style as well as bella not expressing her needs more due to her own anxiety. but anyways

when ppl refer to esme as a milf. shes not hot to me sorry

when girls don’t tell you where they got their clothes from like it’s THAT exclusive like bitch don’t be weird

when “boys will be boys” is used to defend sexual harassment. “boys will be boys” should be 100% exclusively used in reference to boys being silly and getting into funny avoidable situations. “boys will be boys” is about kenan and kel, drake and josh, big time rush, and zach and cody.

the end of you season 3

when ppl defend their less talented faves w wild ass statements like “pop stars don’t HAVE to have stage presence or perform well” like what???????? yes they do!!!!!!! that’s in the job description!!!!!!!!!!!!!

justin timberlake

when I’m reading a fic and the outfits are being described a lil too in detail for the plot. like ok sure if a character is nervous for a first date then we should know the fit bc that’s a part of it. but if they’re just going to the store to buy milk and nothing out of the ordinary happens why do we need to know

the fact that smeyer named that man Samuel Uley. why did she name him that. anyways his new name is Samson Uley

when I’m reading a fic and the world doesn’t feel lived in esp when the setting is important or there are side characters with speaking lines

pretentious ppl in line for concerts. like dude idc if you got tickets to the la show too we’re all fans who bought tickets to tonight’s show wtf are u trying to prove

short pop songs. ik why (streaming) why are we abandoning bridges???????? why are we abandoning outros and prechoruses????????????? every pop song should be at minimum 3:30

lana del rey’s setlist when I went to her concert in 2019. she barely played Shit from her new album at the time. it was all fucking born to die songs like why would u release your best album (nfr) and not perform it

THE FACT THAT LIKE EVERY TRENDY WOMENS SHIRT U CAN BUY TODAY THATS NOT A T SHIRT IS CROPPED. WHY CANT I HAVE THIS CUTE TOP JUST COVER MY STOMACH

ppl who think it’s quirky to post abt how they only consume iced coffee and adderall like dude shut up that’s not a flex eat a piece of bread

when ppl are afraid to use the block button and would rather engage in internet bullshit and stress out irl abt it like why are you letting a whole ass stranger impact your internet experience like that??? how are u letting someone stress you out on YOUR phone. continued harassment is different but like dude just block em

unqualified judges on reality tv shows. like why was jameela jamil a judge on legendary

jameela jamil

the last few seasons of america’s next top model

america’s next top model cycle 5 winner nicole

when men without jobs try to date me. i get that it’s a pandemic and I understand it’s tough rn and it’s absolutely fine if you’re in between jobs. but dating in general is expensive so why are u trying to date me instead of make money so u can afford to date at all

water sign men. ugh

99% of all aquarius ppl I’ve ever met, the exception being tinashe and only bc I don’t know her personally but if I did I feel like she’d get on my nerves in that unique way that only aquarius ppl can get on my nerves

when ppl think aquarius is a water sign “because aqua!!!!!” aquarius is the water BEARER

the non-incarcerated ppl on the “outside” on the show love after lockup. the second their partner gets released from prison it becomes clear they they think they own them bc they put money on their books. like your partner just got outta jail and wanna see their mom or their kid or whatever and they have like 3 hours to enjoy the outside before going into the halfway house like why tf do u think they immediately should fuck you in the car on the way to the halfway house????? stupid ass

when my parents think my extended family give a shit abt me or I should give a shit abt them like idc if this random ass cousin held me as a baby they literally do not know me

the fact that my work cut our lunches down to 30 minutes. idc if it’s the “industry standard” we’re all still working for 8 hours anyway. give me my hour long lunch so I can take a nap assholes

ronnie from jersey shore. there’s nothing likable about him it’s insane

when the main couple of teen romance media is the ONLY couple. like why is nobody else dating. teens go on double dates all the time. i hate when teen romances are so mf SERIOUS like you are 16 have fun……go bowling or sumn..,,,,,,,,,

when teens on the internet say the most heinous shit you’ve ever heard and immediately follow it up with “UM! I’m a minor!” when someone says what they said was fucked up

real housewives of potomac but really all of them. what’s the point of those ladies always going to dinner and on vacations with each other when they don’t even like each other. why would they go on vacation just to argue

deadbeat dads. like what’s wrong with u that’s your SON

how hard it is to cancel a savage x fenty vip membership

halloween kills. like I’ll watch any horror movie but that shit was deadass terrible idk why they thought putting that movie out was a good idea

the fact that zoey 101 didn’t have a laugh track. the jokes weren’t landing hard enough on their own and the lack of a laugh track made the beachy socal score seem extra loud so the episodes feel like long ass commercials

in n out burger. californians are liars bc those burgers taste like hot fucking flavorless meat and fries taste like cardboard. the food looks delicious in pics tho

moving. like this shit is so hard for no reason

when ppl take pics w flash when the lighting is perfectly fine as is like what are u DOING

flies. get the hell out of my house

when something bad happens to a celeb v publicly and ppl start with “I may not like her music but…” like I promise nobody asked

season 4 of crazy ex girlfriend. so many plots of the episodes are just bad and the songs aren’t even that good

gina rodriguez. she gives me heebie jeebies

the way they victorious ended. we didn’t even get a finale

when someone posts abt a loved one dying and ppl immediately ask “how?” (I see this on facebook a lot) LIKE WHY WOULD U ASK THAT SOMEONE JUST DIED

when pwp fics suddenly develop a plot in the last few chapters like I’m supposed to care

when fics portray leah as meek and mousy and w low self esteem. like no thanks. we can tell a story without the bellaswanification of leah clearwater thank yew

winter. what does anyone gain from being cold and the sun setting at 5pm

those fucking scam calls with the guy speaking abt the rapture or whatever in a very panicked urgent voice

bbl fashion. why are u wearing biker shorts and a waist trainer while carrying a BIRKIN

answering lyric questions on uquiz. I don’t listen to taylor swift why do I have to pick one of her lyrics

swifties

pop stans who think future nostalgia “saved” pop music

anybody who says “pure pop” to describe music

jay from modern family. ik it won’t happen but I hope he dies in the finale

ticketmaster

when ppl say “his/her” bitch just say they

the fact that recreational weed isn’t legal in all 50 states here like it’s literally just weed relax

thanks for asking!

[brelione]

Trying To Help (The Best Boys)

Series Masterlist

Warnings:Mentions of death, not super sad kind of just conflicting I think (figured id give you guys an emotional break), mentions of blood.Not proof read because im a lazy bitch.

“Hey pretty boy.”You whispered, trying not to cry.Topper frowned, not understanding where he was or why everything felt so weird. “Im sorry I drove off a bridge.”He replied, his voice sounding funny as if he had been talking with food in his mouth.

 “Dont be bubs, you didnt mean to….”You replied, hoping your voice wasnt hurting his head.His eyes closed again, too lazy to keep them open. “Rafe should be here soon.”You bit the inside of your cheek anxiously.

His nose scrunched up, a look of disapproval on his face. “Why does everything always gotta be about Rafe?”He asked, his eyes opening wide when he realised there was a cast on his arm.He moved the fingers on his right hand, making sure that one wasnt broken too.Needles and IVs had been stabbed into his arm and hand, an air tube across his face and at his nostrils.

He noticed your hand on the bed, reaching for it with his good hand.You let him hold it, glad he wasnt mad at you.The room was quiet and dark but not so much that it was awkward, the two of you just trying to keep eachother calm. “Hey,guys.”The door opened to reveal Rafe.

He was wearing a backwards hat, a light blue polo shirt and black pants.He looked just as much of a mess as you, a guilty expression on his face.His eyes flicked over to you and Toppers hands as he sat in the chair next to you.

 “Is that Rafe?”Topper asked, too tired to open his eyes again. “Yeah, dude.You really fucked up this time.”Rafe smiled but his face quickly fell into a frown when you didnt do the same.You began to drag your fingertips along Toppers arm, feeling a bit better when he grinned at the feeling.

“So how was the movie?”He asked, feeling his eyes water up. “Um...yeah, we didnt end up finishing it.Guess it wasnt the same without you there.”You muttered, your fingers trailing back down to his palm.

He hummed, taking in a deep breath when he realised you could hear his heartbeat increasing from the monitor. “I knew you wouldnt finish it.Between you and Kelce screaming and….and Rafe being an impatient slut.”Topper smiled, opening his eyes ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of Rafe’s reaction.

 “Hmm...you’re lucky your arms already broken, pussy.”Rafe smiled, becoming less tense when you rolled your eyes. “DOnt be fucking rude.”You whispered with a small smile. “You know what...its the quoting the Kardashians daily for me.”Topper bit his lip as he waited for you to respond. “Its...the breaking my flower pot for me.”You replied, tapping your fingers against his palm.You grinned,recalling the memory.

You and Kelce had spent the morning together after a sleepover.You had scrolled through your pinterest feed as usual, coming across a ton of diy plant pots and decided to just go for it.You told Kelce about your idea as you two sat down for breakfast, both of you half asleep as you drank coffee. “Yeah, okay.”he agreed, putting on his shoes once he had finished his eggs.

 “So how many pots should we get?”He asked as you buckled your seatbelt.You shrugged, not really having a proper answer as he began to drive to Walmart, cursing when he couldnt find a parking spot.Once he did he waited for you to go back to your pinterest boards and figure out exactly what type of paint you would need for the project.

It was far too early for the store to be busy, holding on to Kelce’s back as he grabbed a cart. “What isle?”He asked, stopping to grab a bag of cheetos. “Uhhh….I dont know.Hold on.”You pulled out your phone, holding onto him with one arm and resting the phone on top of his head.

 “Thirteen.”You replied, squealing and holding on for dear life as he began running through the store, coming to a halt when he reached the isle.You hopped off of his back, grabbing some small pots and some medium pots and putting them into the cart carefully. 

“Can I paint spongebob on mine?”He asked, his eyes glancing through the paint colors on the hunt for a bright yellow. “I dont care, paint whatever you want.”You replied, grabbing the primary colors and tossing them into the cart.Kelce being Kelce had freaked when he saw the variety of stickers, buying at least thirty dollars worth of puppy stickers, marvel stickers, car stickers and shiny spikes. 

“No weeds are gonna mess with this plant when im done with it.”He said proudly as he grabbed every single strip of spike stickers.You had rolled your eyes, picking out some pearl like stickers and tossing them in the cart.Kelce smiled, getting an idea.

He moved all of the items to the opposite side of the cart to leave an empty space, picking you up quickly and putting you inside. “Kelce-seriously?”You sighed, holding on to the side as he pushed the cart quickly, swerving it against the tile on his way to the plant isle. 

“Yep, its easier this way.”He replied, stopping the cart once you guys got to the other side of the store. “Ooh….can we grow sunflowers?”He asked, tossing the bag of seeds into the cart before you could answer. “Get lavender too.”You replied, taking out your phone to play subway surfers.

Kelce huffed, arms wrapping around your shoulders and placing a kiss on the top of your head as he watched you play. “Whats your high score?”He asked, playing with the baby hairs that had fallen out of your braids. 

“I dunno, higher than yours.”You grinned, hearing him gasp. “Fucking rude.”He muttered, flicking your temple. “Fuck you.”You replied, avoiding a train. “Fuck you!”He exclaimed driving the cart to check out.He grabbed a few packs of gum as well, scanning the items at the self checkout.

You two then spent the whole afternoon painting pots and covering them in an obnoxious amount of stickers.The small one that Kelce had done all by himself was covered with spike stickers that kept falling off. “It wont stay stuck!”He exclaimed, becoming frustrated.

 “Kelce, babe, its cause you’ve got paint on the sticky part.”You sighed, grabbing a paper towel and putting it under the water to wipe off the yellow paint from the pot.He was a pouting mess for the rest of the afternoon but was happy with the outcome of the pot, taking a photo of it to post on his snapchat story. “How did you do that?”He asked, pointing to the pastel rainbow pot you had painted.You shrugged, just going off of what you saw in the video.You two had decided to just go sit on the couch and watch some cartoons while you waited for Rafe and Topper, leaving the pots to dry on the table.

Once Topper had gotten there he had given you a quick greeting and went into the kitchen to get something to drink, accidentally elbowing one of the pots in the process and sending it to the floor, the clay colliding with your tile floor. “TOPPER!WHAT THE FUCK?!”You exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen.

“Its the stealing my hoodies from me and then pretending you didnt for me.”He replied.Your heart dropped as you realized you were wearing his hoodie right now, beginning to freak out when you realised you werent even wearing pants.

 “Shut up.”You replied, squeezing his hand lightly.Kelce came through the door a few seconds later, sighing loudly. “These people are ridiculous-I had to convince them that I was Top’s adopted brother.Did you have to do that?”He asked Rafe, going to stand at the end of the bed.

 “Nope.”Rafe replied.Kelce bit the inside of his cheek, staring at Topper. “Concussion?”He asked, noticing the bandage that was peaking out from Topper’s forehead.You nodded, looking between the two boys. “How you feeling?”Kelce asked.Topper grinned, peaking one eye open. 

“Like shit.”Topper replied, a small smile on his face. “How long am I gonna be stuck here?”Topper asked, finally acknowledging the fact that he was in a hospital.Rafe shook his head, looking over to Kelce as if he knew anything about the situation that you and Rafe didnt.

Kelce shrugged, not knowing either. “I mean, with that kind of injury one could only assume a good two weeks or so.You wont be able to drive- (Y/N)- how did you get here?”Kelce asked, realising.You had texted them from the hospital which meant that Rafe hadnt driven you.

You went quiet, feeling their eyes on you. “Uhhh….I drove.”You replied, hoping they wouldnt push further.Topper opened both of his eyes this time, wanting to make sure he had understood properly. “What?”Topper asked, cringing at the lisp he now had.

He shouldve known his voice would sound different.He had literally bit off part of his tongue. “I drove.”You repeated, feeling a bit insecure.Rafe just looked confused, Kelce was shocked and Topper just couldnt believe it.

 “How’d it go?”Topper asked, wanting to sit up when he realised that he couldnt really move that much.You shrugged, trying to figure out why the attention was on you when Topper had literally almost died.

 “I dont really know, kinda just did it.I dont really remember it either.”You replied, feeling Rafe’s hand drift onto your knee, tapping your knee cap.He had been doing it for years.He was awkward most of the time and didnt know what to do if his hand was empty, usually going to hold yours or just touch you in some way to feel more grounded.

 “Why dont you remember it?”Topper asked, unable to grasp the whole situation.Thank god he didnt know that the nurse had told you about his ‘last words’.He wouldve had a heart attack on spot. “I was in shock, dum dum.I was just-just trying to make breakfast and then the fucking hospital calls me and tells me that you drove into a river.”You laughed, a few tears rolling down your face.

Toppers heart beat quickened,squeezing your hand tight. “I said I was sorry...did you at least drink water this morning?”He asked, wishing he could hug you.You laughed, wiping your face. “No, no I didnt cause I thought you were gonna die!”You replied, sniffling.

 “For the love of life, Topper.Keep up.”You let out a shaky breath. “Im trying my best, sunshine.”He answered, not paying attention to Rafe or Kelce.It felt like you were the only one who was actually in the room with him.

 “I mean, I guess its just karma.Have any of us ever left during a movie night?All im saying is I think its like a curse or something.”Topper answered, trying his best to get you to stop crying.Kelce couldnt even think of something to say, the situation was overpowering him.

You just sighed,leaning your forehead against the mattress, staring down at the floor. “Why’d you leave?”You asked, still not understanding the full situation that lead to Topper leaving your house.Rafe shifted in his seat, squeezing your knee, almost trying to tell you not to bring it up again.

 “Just...wanted to go home.”He mumbled, knowing better than to bring up the argument that he no longer cared about.He couldve laughed at it.As jealous as he was as Rafe even he could admit that the son of a bitch cared about you more than anyone and to accuse him of not caring about you was the stupidest thing he had ever said.And that was saying a lot.

SOmetimes he was close to positive that Rafe didnt care about him or Kelce but there was never a single doubt in his mind that Rafe didnt love you.Now he kind of wish that he had died since it would leave you with Rafe and Kelce.

They were both better friends than he could ever be no matter how hard he tried.It wouldve been better for the whole friend group if he had stayed dead. “You have a concussion, bubs.Nothing you say is relevant for the next two weeks.”You joked, feeling the tears roll down your face and onto your collarbones, not even bothering to wipe them away anymore.

 “You have a single brain cell, (Y/N).Nothing you say is relevant.”He replied, laughing a bit.It didnt do much but hurt his head and make his tongue sting. “See?That’s not relevant.”You replied, lifting your head up from the mattress and kissing the back of his hand lightly.

Rafe smiled slightly, glad to see that you were a bit better and that Topper hadnt yelled at him to get out. “You know what?I just think I should say something really important.”Topper announced, thinking that he sounded louder than he actually did.Rafe squeezed your knee tightly, worried that Topper would tell you what he knew and that Kelce would freak out about it.

 “I dont think im allowed to watch tv with a concussion-fuck.”Topper grumbled, hearing Rafe let out a sigh of relief.He noticed Kelce still standing, getting up and asking you quietly if you two could share your seat.

You huffed, standing up and allowing him to sit in your chair, sitting on his lap, feeling self conscious when Toppers hoodie lifted to reveal half your thigh. “I mean, you could always do other things to pass the time.”Kelce replied, sitting down in the chair.

 “Hmm...like what?”Topper asked.Thank god Kelce was an optimist, the rest of you would be absolutely fucked without him. “Like….coloring, reading or….I dont know, thinking.”Kelce suggested, going quiet soon after. “Read what?”Topper asked.

He had never liked reading.Back when you guys were still in school he would refuse to read anything, tossing his homework down as you and Kelce tried to do yours.You usually had to harass Rafe for hours to do his work when all he could focus on was you.He would purposely annoy you just so you’d talk more and get all mad.

Between him and Topper you never got your work done, having to read to Topper so he would get some of his work done. “I could read you the Harry Potter books, ive got them downloaded to my phone.”You replied, a small grin on your face.

Toppers face became red, wanting to protest but deciding that he’d rather have you read to him than continue with the upsetting conversations. “Yeah, okay.”He answered, closing his eyes as you began to read.Kelce was smiling as you read, making comments every once in a while. 

“Wow, what a bitch.”He muttered about Vernon.Rafe squeezed your waist, resting his head against your back.It was some time in the afternoon when the nurse came in to check Toppers IV and give him some more medication. “Theres food available in the cafeteria, a warm soup or something soft would be best for your friend here.”She gestured towards Topper before leaving.

She had given you all a weird look, trying to figure out why a patient’s girlfriend was sitting on the lap of his assumed brother.Kelce bit the inside of his cheek, hearing his stomach rumbling. “Alright, well im going to the cafeteria. (Y/N), can you come with me please?”He asked.

You sighed, shaking your head. “Im not wearing pants.”You answered. “Can you stand up for a minute?”Rafe asked.You huffed, getting off of his lap, eyes widening when he pulled off his shorts and handed them right over to you.

Kelce wasnt even surprised, just hungry.You awkwardly pulled up the shorts, tying them tight around your waist and following Kelce into the elevator.Everything was going smoothly until it came to a stop. “What the hell?”Kelce asked, hitting a ton of buttons at once. “Kelce!Stop that!”You smacked his wrist, screaming when the elevator moved slightly, coming to a stop again. 

“What should I do?Im pressing the red button!”He exclaimed as he pressed it again. “I dont know!Press it again!”You exclaimed, clinging onto his arm. “Oh my fuck-shit dammit!Now we’re gonna die!”You exclaimed. 

“We’re already in a hospital, we’ll be fine.”He answered, pressing the button again. “Kelce!It’s gonna fall!”You exclaimed, holding onto him so tight you were starting to shake. “No its not, its fine.Just wait for someone to come fix it.”He spoke, pulling you onto the floor so you were sitting against him. “It’ll be fine, just wait.”He repeated.

“Im sorry, man.”Topper sighed, looking over to Rafe.THe brunette simply shrugged, not really bothered by it anymore. “Apology accepted.”Rafe replied.Topper let out a sigh of relief, glad that the tension wasnt as strong.

 “But like, can you be honest real quick?”Topper asked, waiting for Rafe to answer. “Yeah, yeah okay.”Rafe replied, dreading what Topper would ask. “Did you guys do anything?”He asked.Rafe frowned, not knowing what to say.

He didnt want to tell Topper something that you werent okay with him knowing but at the same time didnt want to lie. “Yeah, yeah we did.”Rafe replied, holding his breath.Topper simply hummed, letting out a breath through his nose. 

“Were you careful?You know she doesnt….hasnt done those types of things.You didnt hurt her though, right?”Topper asked.Rafe was a bit confused, thinking that Topper would get all jealous and grumpy. “Yeah, yeah I was….she was fine, like she said she was fine and I told her she could….ya know, stop me.She didnt though, I was careful.”Rafe’s cheeks were red, trying not to go into too much depth.

Topper nodded a bit, sighing. “Thats good...so like, are you guys dating now or whatever?”Topper asked, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach.Rafe gulped, not really knowing the answer himself. “I dont know….its all complicated I guess.”He replied, feeling guilty now that he was actually talking about it.

 “Okay...hey, do you think she knows?”Topper asked, hoping you wouldnt walk in at the wrong time.Rafe laughed at the comment. “Damn, man.I dont even know.Like, she obviously knows I do.Ive made it pretty obvious but like...you’ve made it pretty obvious too at this point I think.I feel like she doesnt think anyone would like her like that no matter how obvious we make it.I dont know, I feel like right now wouldnt be a good time to talk to her about this though, lets just not say anything to her.”Rafe muttered, realising he had promised you that he wouldnt tell anyone what you two had done last night

. “Hmm...you know whats fucked?”Topper asked, blinking slowly.Rafe hummed, waiting for him to continue. “I lost my two year streak with her.And you.”The blonde smiled, wiggling his toes carefully.Rafe laughed, pinching his nostrils. “Yeah, thats fucked.”He agreed.

“Nobody’s coming.”You huffed, holding on to Kelce’s hand as you leaned against the elevator wall. “You dont know that.”He replied, not sounding genuine at all. “I dont know….do you wanna talk about something?”You asked, thinking of ways to pass time while you guys were trapped.

He sighed, nodding. “What do you wanna talk about?”He asked, flicking at your fingertips. “I dont know...how are your cousins?”You asked, realising that that’s where he had come from.He chuckled, shaking his head.

 “Alec would not stop complaining about sushi, I guess her favorite restaurant closed and now shes all pissy about it.Shes really fucking tall now.”He sighed, kind of glad that he was able to leave the house.You nodded, trying to think of something else to say.

Alec was his 17 year old cousin, she was nice sometimes but she could also be a lot to handle from what you had heard.She was pretty cool though, always commenting on your instagram posts and hyping you up.It kind of gave Rafe a little competition since she always commented before him.

 “What about Jax?Is he still an ass?”You asked.You had met Jax a total of two times, both times he had called you hot and stared at you.He was 17 so it was kind of weird of him but you hadnt had to deal with him in a good six months.

Kelce shrugged, not having much to say. “Yeah, I dont think hes ever gonna change.He tried to download porn to my phone.”Kelce replied, biting the inside of his cheek. “Hey, is it true that Rafe kissed you?I mean, he told me but I figured he probably just dreamt it.”fuck.

Now everything was coming unraveled and you’d have to figure out how you wouldnt hurt anyone. “Uh...yeah, he did.”You answered, biting your bottom lip.He was silent.That was scary if something was so shocking that Kelce had nothing to say.

 “Alright...so how do you feel about it?”He asked, keeping his voice calm and steady.He was tired of not knowing what was going on, not understanding the new tension between you and Rafe.There had always been something there but recently it seemed to get a lot more serious.

But then again he had noticed the way you held Topper, how you’d sigh whenever the blonde kissed your forehead or when he’d hug you.He didnt really want to say anything, figuring that when you wanted to date one of them you would.

Now he sounded exactly like Topper, you were pretty sure those were the exact words that he had said to you. “Um….yeah, I dont really know.I guess that like im not mad about it but I just...I dont know how to feel.”You answered, knowing that it sounded stupid.

Kelce nodded, understanding. “So do you like Rafe?LIke, you know.”He asked, pulling at the sleeve of the hoodie out of boredom.You shrugged, not knowing the answer. “(Y/N), come on now.I see the way you look at him...its a little bit of something.”He pushed.

You knew he was right but you’d rather die than admit it. “I dont know, Kelce.Its just weird, I guess.Like we’ve been friends for like...eight years and now all this shit is happening.”You answered.

He nodded, trying to think of the best advice to give you. “Alright, well life is too short for shit.If you like Rafe then I think you should go for it.All that matters is that you’re happy and if he makes you happy then you should be with him.”Kelce squeezed your hand, waiting for you to speak.

Of course Kelce would say that.That was the most Kelce thing you had ever heard him say. “Yeah, but I dont think I want to be with him.”You muttered, not knowing how to explain what you were feeling.Kelce was confused, trying his best not to show it.

 “Okay….but why?Do you like someone else at the same time?”He asked, trying to piece everything together.The elevator began to move again, scaring you both. “Shit.”You sighed, holding on to his arm as he helped you up. 

“We’ll talk about this later.”It sounded like more of a question.He had never been great at being assertive.A few staff members apologized, explaining that a patient had went roaming around and they had to stop the elevators to prevent them from leaving the hospital.

Kelce held onto your hand tight as you made your way to the cafeteria.None of the food looked particularly appetizing, eventually deciding on a small container of mac and cheese for yourself, a turkey sandwich for Rafe and finding a sealed bowl of potato soup for Topper.

Kelce had grabbed a few sodas and a gatorade for Topper, reuniting with you as you both went to the line, paying for the food.You two had decided on just taking the elevator again, figuring it would be difficult to walk up the stairs with so much to carry.

Luckily it didnt come to a stop this time, the two of you completing the trip successfully and walking back into the hospital room.Rafe and Topper were laughing about something, Rafe sitting in his boxers.It was quite funny.You all ate in a pretty much silence, having to help Topper elevate the upper half of his bed so he could eat properly. 

“I hate hospital food.”Rafe sighed, biting into his sandwich while keeping you balanced on his left thigh.He tried to ignore all of the thoughts he was getting, figuring that the lack of caffeine in his system was making him horny.

That first night in the hospital had been the hardest.You were the only one who was allowed to stay while Kelce and Rafe had to go home.You had given Rafe his sweatpants back.

He decided that he needed to talk to you, taking your hand and getting far away from the room where the trauma patients were seperated from the elderly. “How are you?”He asked.You kind of wanted to punch him.What the hell kind of question was that?

 “I just...im fine.”You forced yourself to grin, not wanting to be rude.He licked his lips, looking around. “Thats...not what I meant.”His face flushed a bit, his ears pink. “oh-oh....um, yeah im fine.”You repeated.He hummed, hands ending up in the pockets of your hoodie.

 “Thats good....im sorry that I went so fast, I know you wanted me to be gentle.”He apologized, kissing your forehead. “Its fine, Rafe.”You answered, hugging him.He huffed, accepting the hug. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I can stop by your house and grab you some clothes.”He offered, staring down at you.You nodded, accepting the offer.He leaned down, kissing you gently, feeling himself get weak.

You pulled away after a moment, kissing the tip of his nose before standing on your tiptoes to kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”You grinned, kissing him gently. “Alright, text me the clothes that you want...do you want one of my shirts?”he asked, smiling when you nodded. “Alright....okay, tomorrow.”He repeated, finally letting go of you.

You ended up staying up for a majority of the night, holding Topper’s hand as you read to him, switching from Harry Potter to short stories.He had moved over in his bed ever so slightly, groaning in pain, staring at the small empty space he had made.

You took the message, hesitantly laying next to him, becoming stiff when he wrapped his good arm around you and let you rest your head on his shoulder. “You’re cold.”He mumbled, holding you tighter.

The nurse came in to wake him up every hour and a half since sleep was bad for concussions.You barely got any sleep, more focused on listening to make sure his heartbeat was steady.

Rafe and Kelce came at seven in the morning with coffee and donuts, a container of chocolate flavored yogurt for Topper.Rafe had stuffed one of your backpacks full of clothes, grabbing whatever he thought would bring you comfort.

He had grabbed you a new shirt from his closet, a mint blue and purple striped polo that was pretty long on him which meant it would fit you like a baggy dress, spraying it with his cologne.

He grabbed your facewash for you, a hairbrush, some hair ties, some socks, soft pants and some loose fitting shirts.He felt a little guilty for looking through your bras and underwear but he knew he couldnt just not bring you some, grabbing a few random ones and stuffing them in the bag.

He grabbed your polaroid camera and a few of your photos, thinking that you might show them to Topper.You were glad to be able to change into some pants, thanking him quietly and slipping in the bathroom to change, sighing when you noticed how wattery and irritated your eyes looked, changing into the shirt that you had seen Rafe wear a couple of times, sniffing it and feeling a calm sensation run through your body.

You sat at the foot of the bed, pulling your knees to your chest as you drank your coffee, taking long, slow blinks.That had been your first day without sleep.It wasnt until the third day that Kelce and Rafe were becoming really concerned.

It had began to rain outside, Kelce and Rafe were trying to convince you to leave and go home. “No.”You answered, sitting in one of the chairs.Topper was asleep.“No-no, you.We’re going home- dont give me that look.You can come back tomorrow but tonight you’re going to sleep in your bed, okay?”Kelce asked, not really giving you any options, picking up your bag.

 “No.”You repeated, wanting to scream when he grabbed your arm, bringing you outside the room. “(Y/N), you havent slept in days.Just come home.”Rafe tried to convince you, going on to explain that you could ride with him or Kelce and then tomorrow the three of you would go into Rafe’s truck and Kelce could drive your car back to your house so you didnt have to worry about it.

You agreed eventually, going back into the room to say bye to Topper, kissing his cheek. “Hey, dont worry about me.Got it?If I find out you were worrying about me im gonna break all your flower pots.”He threatened, a small grin on his face.

You had decided to drive with Kelce, holding his hand as he drove on the wet roads.He was careful to drive slowly so he wouldnt freak you out, informing you that Rafe was going to go stop at a Papa Ginos to grab you guys dinner.

Your house felt foreign to you, the couch not comfy anymore.Kelce frowned, noticing your discomfort. The anxiety felt like it was eating away at your brain.Kelce tried to think of a way to help, the thoughts not coming so easy to him anymore.

The stress was building up inside of him, the stress from dealing with everyone elses problems combining with his own. “Come on.”He grabbed your hand, bringing you upstairs.

Your legs were tired from being held to your chest or bent at uncomfortable angles so you could lay in the hospital bed.He opened the door to your bedroom. “Lay down.”He told you, hoping his voice hadnt come across as creepy.

You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he was telling you to do this but going along with it anyways.He got onto the bed next to you, wrapping an arm around your toso, one of his legs resting across your thighs with his head directly under your chin.

 “What are you doing?”You asked.You couldnt deny it, it was quite a comfortable position. “Im trying to help.I saw this thing on Tik Tok the other day that if you lay on someone its like a weighted blanket and helps with stress.”He explained, pulling your comforter up over your bodies.

It only took you a matter of seconds to fall asleep, Kelce grinning.The feeling of cuddling someone helped him too, a small sigh escaping his lips as he closed his eyes as well, falling asleep before Rafe pulled into your driveway with a pizza in the backseat.

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[obsessive-ego]

Pillow humping

when your vibe is dead you gotta get creatvie

musical beetlejuice x fem reader nsft DUH

you know the drill with me, masturbation voyeurism

Home alone, you lay there on your bed staring at the ceiling, just thinking, it's been awhile since you got some time to yourself, not that you didnt mind, you adored your alone time, hell you spent most of your adult life alone. Until an certain born dead demon weaseled his way into your everyday life, making for a much more interesting loud day to day life, not that you were complaining.

Beetlejuice has made it a habit to mess with your neighbors when he was over, to give you some space from time to time, saying how 'breathers enjoyed their alone time' and he's 'just being respectful of his pal' not sure how true those statements were, he was probably just looking for an excuse to run amok in an apartment building.

All and all it was nice to be alone, that being said, it would be alot nicer if you remembered to buy batteries while you were at the store the other day, you huff in frustration.

It's been what? Almost two weeks since you dealt with your sexual needs, with beetlejuice constantly hanging about, the chances to have some legit alone time were slim and none, but now, being all alone, you would think youd jump at the opportunity, but no, vibrator was dead.

You could always get creative with taking care of business, it's been awhile, you've used a vibrator for such along time, did you really want to try something else? What if it wasnt good? All that effort wasted for nothing?

The thought of dealing with the built tension you've gained while having to 'babysit' beetlejuice while the Deetz were out of town made you core twitch.

You sigh, sitting up from your bed, looking down to your hands, you mumble "I guess I could use my fingers...?"

Or maybe?

You glance to your pillows, specifically the pillow Beetlejuice used every night, the ghoul has made the habbit of sleeping with you, at first he would sneak in while you slept, then he just kinda stopped being subtle, embarrassing yes, but enjoyable, as hard as it was to admit it, you liked the ghoul.

You stare at the pillow way longer then youd like to admit, you couldnt, snapping your head away, glancing back, could you?

You weren't naive, you knew people sometimes humpped pillows to get off, but using his? I guess you could wash it after. You sigh, getting up from your bed, you begin to pace around your bedroom debating with yourself on the morals of this dirty deed.

Unknown to you beetlejuice has returned early from bugging your neighbors, hiding his presence from you in hopes to scare you, as he often enjoyed to do, ever since you sucker punched him in the jaw for scaring you, he's been trying to get you to do it again ever since.

The ghoul strolls around your little apartment looking for you, with a nasty trick up his sleeve of course, he approaches your room, phasing his head through the door, his jaw nearly hits the ground, you were bent over sliding out of your panties, wearing nothing else but a bra, picking his jaw off the ground, literally, the demon decides the prank can wait another day, what you were up to would be FAR more fun~.

You have came to the conclusion of 'this was my house, my pillow, I can just wash it after' you sigh, it's been so long since you messed around like this, you could feel your bits pulsing already, climbing back on the bed you take the pillow beetlejuice has been using and plant you face directly into it, inhaling the scent, it was hard to describe, but you did detect weed in the smell.

Beetlejuice watches you like a hawk, eyes wide, hair electric pink buzzing with excitement, what were you up to? Was that the pillow he used every night? He chuckled to himself, and here he thought he was the only one here who had a scent fetish.

You let out a small moan like sigh, quiet, but still auditable to the ghost in the room. Beetlejuice bites his knuckles, how he LOVED that sound, sitting himself down at the edge of the bed, eager to see what kinda show you're about to put on, since your vibe died, what were you gonna do? Smell his pillow and finger yourself? The demon couldnt help but drool and that picture.

You mutter a soft "okay" and maneuver the pillow between your legs, straddling it.

Beetlejuice nearly screams with excitement, not that you could hear him in his invisible state. His cute little breather was gonna do something REAL dirty to the pillow he used every night, this was just too good, wiping the excessive drool from his mouth he purrs "didnt know you had it in ya sugar".

You slowly begin to move your hips, as if to test the feeling, and with that you begin a more steady pace panting and moaning softly "beej, please, so good" you babbled, you've been so worked up with no outlet of course you were already heated.

Beetlejuice drooled at this little show you were providing, pillow humping, especially the one he used, was way dirtier and better then you using a vibrator, this had a more perverted personal touch. "You naughty little thing, I would love to have those hip move on me like that sugar~ you really know how to move huh sweet stuff? Driving me nuts over here" he chuckled to himself, cock already in hand, his strokes trying to match your pace.

This was so gross, but it felt really good, you can deal with those negative feelings later, without a second thought you grab one of your breats and begin playing with the nipple, while your other hand grasps at the pillow between your thighs, the sensation of your fingers pinching and flicking your nipples was enough to make you whine.

The ghoul groans watching you play with your breast, god slash satan he want it in his mouth, if something like a little pinch was enough to make you whine, his mouth would have you in a screaming fit, without a second thought his jaw hangs down letting his long black and white striped tongue hang free, drooling.

you couldnt help but imagine Beetlejuice's hand in place of yours, gropping and pinching, giving your chest the love its deserves, you sigh in contentment.

The idea of riding the ghoul has crossed your mind way more then youd like to admit, you could hear it now all the dirty things he'd be saying, how he'd probably let you start, setting the pace, and doing the movements on your own until his large strong hands would grab your waist as he would slam into you with no mercy, the thought alone made you buck harder to the point the bed was creaking.

Beetlejuice was drooling like crazy watching you hump his pillow like you were a dog in heart, what he wouldn't give to switch places with it, hell it didnt even have to be his cock, to have you going that hard on his leg would be hot.

His stroking picks up in pace to match your enthusiasm "such a dirty girl, arent ya babes? I love watch you work those beautiful hips~ you gonna cum soon? Cum all over my pillow and leave it for me tonight? You're so thoughtful sugar~" he purrs.

"Fuck" you utter, beetlejuice recognized that strain in your voice, hes herd it multiple times watching you tend to you needs, it ment you were gonna cum, cum all over his pillow, he hoped you were gonna go to bed early tonight solely to join you and rub his face in that sweet spot you left behind for him. The demon began picking up his pace, wanting to cum shortly after you did.

You buck your hips at an unsteady pace, chasing your orgasm, the image of Beetlejuice coaxing you to cum all over his cock, and praising you for being such a good girl, while he slammed mercilessly into you aching pussy was more then enough to push you over the edge, you Yelp out "beetlejuice" as you cum, you ride out your orgasm clumsily grinding against the pillow until you finished, you stare off into space for a bit enjoying the after glow and trying to regain your composure.

The demon at the end of your bed wasnt too far behind after seeing that cute face you make when you come, not to mention how hot his name sound on you lips when you're shouting it out while you cum, was more then enough to get him to blow his load all over his hand. As he watch you regain you breath it hits him, a ghoulish idea, since you were so kind so leave him a personal gift on his pillow, he should do the same, and with that thought, he crawled forward and wiped his cum cover hand on your pillow. Pleased as punch with his doings, his attention is drawn back to you once the demon sees your on the move, watching you redress yourself.

"Alright" you mumble as you grabbed the freshly humped pillow.

"Wait, sugar, what are you doing?" Beetlejuice panicked, of course you would wash it after doing that, he completely blanked out on that.

"I guess itd be weird if I only washed the one huh" you mumble to yourself as you pick up yours, you werent stupid, you knew how to cover your tracks when doing something less then wholesome.

"Babes come on, don't, they're fine, it's fine, wouldn't it be a hot idea to leave them? PLEASE" Beetlejuice on his knees begging you to reconsider not that you could hear or see him in his current state. His heart sank when you left the room, he groans, cant win them all huh.

Bonus

You enter the laundry room with the pillows in hand.

"Hey sweetheart what cha up to?" You were greeted by Beetlejuice sitting on top of the dryer.

You nearly jump out of your skin "hey, I didnt expect you back so soon" you give a nervous laugh.

"Doing some laundry huh? How bout I give ya a hand? It's the least I can do sugar"

"No thanks" you were quick to respond

"Babes, I know how, it's not that hard, you've been so nice to me and putting up with me, it's the least I can do" Beetlejuice had jumped down from the dryer and had practically pinned you to the wall "i insist doll" he purred, his mouth practically on your ear.

This was all too much especially after just jerking off, you really didnt have it in you to argue or stand your ground, so you cave.

"Okay"

And with that beetlejuice took the pillows from you and practically pushes you out the door, locking it behind you.

"Weird, best not to dwell on that" you mumble, straightening yourself as you head to the kitchen for a drink.

[peacedolantwins]

Resentment (G.D)

When you and Grayson first got together, it was like a dream come true. He was your prince charming ready to be everything you ever wanted, but instead of a horse and carriage, it was with a baby blue porshe.

He would pick you up and take you out just about anywhere. Theater, movies, fancy restaurants, anything. You weren’t in the relationship for the money and fancy things, you would have been just as happy watching netflix back at the house or just sitting in a park talking, but he always insisted on going out.

“A beautiful girl deserves beautiful things,” he would always say.

And while you knew the truth, any time the fans saw you two out somewhere expensive or going shopping, they were quick to call you a gold digger.

Grayson would see the comments and tweets and at first he just ignored them. But after a while, he started thinking.

Were you just with him for the money?

So he stopped.

He stopped buying you gifts, he stopped with fancy dinners, he stopped just about everything,

And you didnt mind. You didnt need fancy jewelry or clothes he would get you. As long as you got to spend time with him, the man who you loved, you didnt care.

But then things started to change.

When you two would hang out and you offered to go to the mall and walk around and maybe do some shopping he looked at you like you just offended him.

“Not Rodeo?” he raised a brow.

“I mean, if there was something you wanted to buy there, we can go.” You really werent a fan of going there since everything was way more than you could afford on your own. But if he had planned on buying something, you were okay with going with. You could go to the mall later.

So you two went and he was quick to head straight to the designer stores. You two separated while in the store. While he was picking out things he could actually afford to buy, you were simply window shopping.

You lost track of time when you felt Grayson reach out and touch your arm. Thats when you noticed he already paid.

“You already paid?” you glanced at the bag.

“Yeah, you didnt buy anything?”

“No?” you were confused about why he was asking. You never bought anything when you came to stores like this. You werent about to drop your rent check on something that honestly looked kind of ugly in your opinion.

“Hm figures,” he rolled his eyes at you.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, lets go,” he walked ahead of you, leaving you to follow after him.

It went on like this for over a month, him making small remarks when you wouldnt drop an insane amount of money for something. But you got used to it. You didnt let it get to you. Until he did something you thought he would never do.

You woke up late after having spent the night with Grayson in your apartment to find your jewelry box open. You figured you must have forgotten to close it the last time you put something in and you shrugged it off and got ready for the day.

But as you did your makeup you couldnt help but feel something was wrong. You walked over to the box and thats when you noticed it.

The box was nearly empty.

A few of your earings and a few bracelets were there but all of the jewelry Grayson had gotten over the course of your relationship was gone.

And so was your grandmothers ring she left to you.

You started looking around, thinking maybe Grayson might have knocked the box over this morning and everything just fell out, but there was nothing on the floor anywhere. You were starting to panic when you heard your front door open and saw Grayson come in.

“Grayson did you knock over my jewelry this morning?”

“You mean the jewelry I paid for?”

“Sure, whatever, yeah, but did you knock it over?” You didn’t even care about the remark about him paying for it all, you just needed to know what happened.

“I pawned it,” he said casually.

“You what?” you felt your heart drop.

“Its not like you wore it anyway.” While that was true, its not like you didnt wear it because you didnt like it. You had a tendency to lose everything and you werent about to risk losing a bracelet over a thousand dollars while going to the grocery store.

“Did you take my ring?”

“Which one?”

“Grayson this isnt funny! Did you take my ring? The one with the diamond?” you were scared to hear his answer.

“The one I got you? Yeah.”

“You didnt get me that one, Grayson! That was my grandmothers ring! You have to get it back!” you were beyond upset right now.

“So you seriously want me to go buy you the ring now?” he asked annoyed.

“It wasn’t yours to sell! Why would you even take it!”

“Well you better get to it before someone buys it,” he shrugged.

You looked at him in complete shock. You couldnt care less about the other jewelry, but that ring was important to you. It was the one thing you had left from the woman you spent the majority of your childhood with since your parents were always working.

“Grayson, I cant afford to buy it back!” you had gotten it appraised when you first got it and when you found out how much it was worth, you never wore it.

“Then figure it out!” He couldn’t believe how you were acting about it. Hes worn a full outfit that costs more than that ring so he didnt understand why it was such an issue.

You looked at him in complete shock.

“Unbelievable.” you muttered as you slipped on your shoes and you were out the door as soon as you had the address to the store he took it to.

You quickly found it, driving probably more than the speed limit and parked. You walked in and the man behind the counter asked if he could help you find something. After describing the ring to him he motioned you over to one of the cases.

“Yes! That one, how much is it?” you tried to mentally prepare yourself for the price he was about to say.

“That one is going to be $7,899.”

You closed your eyes and did your best to stop the tears from forming. You knew you couldnt even put it on your credit card because you had a $2,500 limit set.

“Would you be able to hold it for me? Just for today while I go to the bank,” you pleaded with him.

“The most I can give you is until four today,” he explained.

You quickly glanced at the clock behind him and started to panic. It was already twelve, and you knew the bank was closed until one, which meant you had two and a half hours at the most to go and get the loan you needed to buy it back.

“Ill be back in by then,” you gave him your information and you started your drive to the bank.

Once you arrived you sat in your car and did your best to keep your composure as you waited for it to open back up. As soon as the clock hit one you practically ran in and waited for one of the employees to tend to you.

A kind looking woman came from the back rooms and called your name and introduced herself as the person who would be helping you.

She had you fill out paperwork and once you were done she put all the information into the computer. She said it would take a little while for the credit report to come in and she left you sitting there in her office while she went elsewhere.

It was already 2:15.

It was three o’clock when she came back in and told you it all went through and you were approved. You rushed through the final paperwork with a few signatures where needed and you were out the door and driving back to the pawn shop.

You quickly found the same man who helped you from earlier and you bought back the ring.

When you got to your apartment building you sat in your car with your head resting on the steering wheel.

Looks like you were back to living the same way you did through college. Ramen noodles and cereal for every meal from now on.

You glanced around the parking lot and noticed the stupid baby blue car was no where around. Good, because you didn’t want to deal with him right now.

The next few days you found yourself at the restaurant you worked at picking up every shift you could. You had been ignoring calls from Grayson and Ethan too once he started calling you.

You didn’t have time to deal with any of them. You had an eight thousand dollar loan to pay back.

It wasn’t until the two of them walked into the restaurant and got seated in your section when you had to finally deal with them.

“Hi my name is Y/n, I’m gonna be your server today, can I get you something to drink?”

“Y/n? It’s us you don’t have to be all hospitality with us,” Ethan was confused as to why you were being so formal with them.

“We have water, tea, and pepsi products,” you placed the menus in front of them.

“Um, just water, babe-“ Grayson looked up at you and for the first time in days he noticed how exhausted you looked. You were running on fumes and he could see it.

“Great, I’ll be right back with your drinks,” you quickly walked off to get the drinks.

“Dude what’s up with her?” Ethan asked his brother.

“I don’t know, I know we had a fight a few days ago but I thought she’d be over it by now,” he explained.

“Here you go,” you placed their water down in front of them, “and did we need more time to look at the menu or are you ready to order?”

“Y/n, stop it-“ Neither of the boys liked how you were acting towards them.

“Don’t worry, take your time, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you walked away again.

“Gray, what did you do?” Ethan had never seen you this way. You were being so cold and lifeless despite the fake smile and cheery voice you had slapped on.

“I accidentally pawned one of her rings,” Grayson explained.

“Why did you… what ring? Doesn’t she only have the one her grandma left her?”

“I didn’t know,” Graymuttered more to himself.

“You didn’t…” Ethan stared at him in shock. “Are you serious! That would be like her pawning the ring dad left us! Did you get it back for her?” Ethan knew how much that ring meant to you. And from the few times he saw it, he had a general idea of how much it cost.

His brothers silence was all he got but it was enough to let him know the answer.

“Where did you sell it? Fucking hell Grayson! Why wouldn’t you get it back!” Ethan was ready to walk out of the restaurant right now and go buy it back for you since his idiot of a brother didn’t do it himself.

“I went back later and it was already gone okay! I tried!”

“How much did you get for it?” He questioned.

“About six and a half thousand.”

“Well you gave her the money right? Maybe she went and bought it back,” Ethan was trying to be hopeful of the situation.

Silence again.

“Grayson you didn’t even give her the money?” Ethan knew you weren’t made of money and knew how much you made. Which meant he knew there was no way you could have afforded to buy it back yourself.

“Have we made a decision yet?” You appeared out of what seemed like nowhere.

“Just a salad for both of us, babe talk to me please,” Grayson knew he fucked up and he didn’t know how to make it better.

“I’ll go ahead and send that in, any appetizers while you wait?”

“No, Y/n please,” Grayson covered your hand with his.

“I’ll be back with your order,” you pried your hand away gently, not wanting to cause a scene.

What you didn’t know was that your manager was standing close by and saw someone touch one of his employees. And most restaurants didn’t care much about the workers being hit on or made uncomfortable, but he cared about his employees.

Once he saw you leave to take the order to the kitchen, he went up to the table.

“Excuse me,” he crouched down next to the table, “I’m the manager here and I’m not going to have you harassing my employees. If I see anything like that again, you’re out of here. Enjoy your meal.” He patted the table and went off to find you.

“Y/n, I’m giving your table to Erin, take one of hers,” he gestured to the two boys in your section.

“No it’s okay, I can handle it,” you would much rather deal with the twins than the group of kids who looked like they were coming in for homecoming.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve had worse than someone trying to hold my hand, I’ve got it,” you assured him.

“Okay, you let me know if he tries something again,” he looked at you.

“Yes sir,” you mock saluted him at which he rolled his eyes.

You went and checked on the other tables in your section and felt Graysons eyes on you the whole time. You eventually went and took them their salads and asked if they needed anything, but you left before they could answer.

Eventually they asked for the bill and you brought it out, more than happy to have them gone. You returned their card and waited for them to leave before going to clean up the table.

It was then that you saw the giant tip they left.

$500 in cash.

They carried more on them then you made in a week.

You grabbed it and passed by your manager and quickly explained they left something behind that you were going to return to them before following them out the front door.

“Grayson!” You called after him.

“Y/n, look I’m so sorry about-“ he started.

“Can I see your keys really quick?” You cut him off

He handed them over, confused as to why you were asking for his keys. But then he saw you sliding your key off the key ring.

“Y/n no, please don’t,” he knew what this meant.

You tossed him back his keys before you took the money out of your apron and slamming it to his chest.

“That should be enough for the price of my key back.”

With that you walked back into the restaurant and slapped the fake smile back on your face. While you really could have used the five hundred dollars, you were not going to let him try to feel better about what he did.

No amount of money he tried to spend on you now could fix the damage already done.

Pls like/comment/reblog I need validation

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[swampgallows]

i was writin it in the tags before i maxed em out but it had me thinking about how much more shit i did in college because i actually had access to shit. for one, there was a viable public transit system there. there was a bus stop literally outside my dorm, and i used to take the bus all kinds of places and just walk around the city and shit. i did tons of things i previously would not have accessible to me because i didnt drive. back when disney passes were cheap as fuck i had days where id swing by disneyland after class just to hop on a ride or two and then go home. i went to parks, beaches, the aquarium, the movies, clubs, raves, morris dancing, restaurants, the mall, and all kinds of shit on my own because i could actually physically fucking get there. the only real challenge a lot of the time was if i bought anything to get it home (i remember walking half a mile with a full length mirror back to my dorm because i kept missing the bus). but the point is that i DID SHIT. i wasnt constantly being micromanaged by people in my environment about what food i bought or what i ate, where i went and when, etc. and i had the resources to actually go fucking do things.

it all came crashing down, i think, when i got into that series of bad relationships. i dont think i was aware of it at the time, but that was about the time that things were ramping up toward something great and then i was betrayed by people close to me and continuously shot down. i didnt know how to process those toxic relationships, and part of me still doesn’t. almost ten years later im still trying to recover from the damage of them. yes, it was the same time that i was having heightened anxiety and the worst period of panic attacks in my life, which were and are awful and shitty, but i also had very understanding and supportive friends who were there for me during that time. it would be no different than if i got very sick and had friends who took care of me. i was having a human experience and because i had a good support network, i was able to cope.

so like. of course i got depressed when my boyfriend would hate-fuck me and embarrass me on purpose in public or in front of his friends. of course i felt too scared and sad to go to class when i was constantly being told my art wasn’t good enough and was a waste of time and “useless to society”. of course i hid in my room playing video games with rude assholes because at least they couldnt touch me. of course i didnt want to open up to people when they told me it was “fascinating the way your mind mistreats you”. 

of course i got suicidal when i got zero weekend days off for three straight years. not even easter sunday, even though greek easter usually falls on a completely separate sunday. of course i didnt want to live anymore when i couldnt see or be with my friends or express myself naturally. of course i would be depressed about waking up at 7am every day to stand in a cold room alone for 8 hours and not even be paid enough to live.

friends and family and past teachers on facebook can encourage me to go on medication, but for what? will a SSRI pay me a living wage? is celexa going to make men treat me better? will prozac install a public transit system in my area, or help me move to a place where a better one already exists? xanax didnt sit in the car with me to teach me to drive and offer support, but it did help me recuperate from the dozens of screaming crying fits and panic attacks i had while orchestrating my own exposure therapy. it took years for me to get acclimated to just sitting in the driver’s seat of my car while it was off without having a complete meltdown and slamming it full speed into the garage to kill myself. because i am still so mad that i learned so late, that nobody gave a shit about me enough to teach me, that i had to shell out hundreds if not thousands of dollars on lessons with complete strangers to learn this skill that has become mandatory for survival in the place i live. i had to use money to replace the love and support normally given by family or my community.

i am trying to condition myself to see my car as an emblem of freedom, but it feels like a cage. it costs so much money, it is so scary and exhausting to operate it, and everything in this world and society is forcing me to use it. and honestly it feels like, because i have it, i have run out of “excuses” for not being employed. that if i have a car, i should be able to go to any job whatsoever and sit in my car in traffic for four hours a day like every other average person in l.a. even at the trader joes i interviewed at THREE TIMES before they eventually didnt bring me on, i would have to drive anywhere from 30-45 minutes to work every fucking day just to work at a fucking grocery store. i know people see those numbers and go ‘psh that’s nothing! my commute is so much longer!’ and that just feels like hustle propaganda. like why are you proud that you have to sit in your car in fucking traffic every day to do a job that you probably could (and now probably do) work at from home?

the shitty case worker i had, tonya, could not offer a suggestion to me when i brougth this up to her. how is medication going to make me more employable? how am i not supposed to blow my brains out when my life is going to be sitting in a car that i struggle to operate to go to a job that doesnt pay me enough to live and then doing that forever until i die? why dont i skip all that and just die right now? why live through that? all she could say was “well, that’s just how it is.” 

The much more obvious answer is that mental disorders, while influenced by genetic factors, are largely caused by trauma and context, and that oppressed groups of people experience way more trauma under capitalism, and are way less able to navigate the context of American society because it was built without them in mind, and in many cases to intentionally harm them.

this is why im going to be mentally ill forever, man. because i can’t fucking adapt to a society that doesn’t care about me. why would i do that? is it not inherently harmful and mentally ill to perpetuate an unhealthy environment? why belong to a society if we don’t care about the people in it? who is society for? if these circumstances were due to a partner, they’d tell me to leave them. if these circumstances were due to my living situation with my family or roommates, they’d tell me to move out. so must i leave society? do i have to live off the grid? do i have to hunt game and skin animals for fur and build my own shelter? even if i wanted to, like many natural peoples, capitalism is taking those things away too. look at first nations and indigenous people. look at the multitudes of the people experiencing homelessness and mental illness simultaneously. 

it is all so obvious when you’re on the outside. no one expects, or wants, people like me to survive. the whole point is that we do not belong to society. the whole point is that capitalism wants me dead. my suicidality means capitalism is working as intended.

[bebecue]

I couldnt care less about brands but apple has a worse app store and no headphone jack because they want you to buy their shitty airpods that hurt your ears if you use them for too long. Their laptops also dont have disc drives which is bad for me bc I buy all my games secondhand and cant install them without the disc. Anyways apple fucking sucks.

i'll give them this - apple are incredibly clever at getting you to spend more money and they pass it off as innovation. no disc drive or headphone jack??? they say its cool bc it makes their tech more streamlined (or whatever tf reasoning they come up with) just spend a few more hundred dollars to get the features you want. and you'd think people would be smart enough to switch brands, but brand loyalty is a real thing and some people are gonna die using apple products their entire life

[albyfm]

˙✫*ﾟ YUNGBLUD  ,  DEMIBOY  ,  HE/THEY  :･ did  you  hear  alby miller  is  joining  the  cast  of  exposed  after  their habit of facilitating drugs at events, festivals & awards shows  was  revealed  ?  the  twenty-three  year  old  bass guitarist  with 500k followers is  trying  to  clear  their  name  .  they've  become  known  as  the  resident  juvenile  in  the  mansion  ,  and  it's  clear  that's  spot  on  because  they're  quite -  recalcitrant & -  stuck in their ways ,  but  also +  charismatic &  +  outspoken .  you  know  they're  heading  to  the  confession  booth  if  you  hear  lonely boy  by  the black keys  blasting  ,  most  likely  talking  about  how  they're  more  than disheveled outfits of black leather & denim, talking way too candidly to the press, smashed lenses of paparazzi cameras that got too close, an unmistakable mischievous grin & an inability to express real feelings.

hey !! finally getting around to posting this. you can call me aries, i’m 23 and in the bst ( uk ) timezone. my pronouns are she / her. i’m a little lost art school grad with a lot of student debt, a taste for red wine and an unhealthy obsession with arctic monkeys. not gonna lie, i whipped this kiddo up specifically for this rp so i’m still getting used to them, but hopefully with this intro you’ll get a feel for what they’re about. without further ado, here’s alby—

trigger warnings & disclaimer: mentions of hard drugs, alcohol, anger issues, destructive tendencies. my intention writing this intro was not to glamorize or romanticize these things in any way but if anything i have written comes across that way, please lmk!

smash that ♡ to plot or hit me up on discord @ chaotic aries#5793 !!

‘and this is how it starts...’ ( the basics )

name: alby fox miller age: twenty-three gender: non-binary ( demi-boy ) pronouns: he / him & they / them date of birth: may 24th 1997 zodiac: gemini sun, pisces moon, aries rising orientation: pansexual occupation: bassist for drive like i do career claim: ross macdonald ( the 1975 ) genre: alt-pop, pop-rock

‘it’s the way we are, we were smoking by eleven & knocking ‘round town...’ ( background )

you’re born in 1997, in the north west of england. wilmslow, to be exact. a quaint and affluent town, just south of manchester. the family you’re born into is a comfortable one. not quite living lavishly, but not at all struggling, either. your parents both work in business out in the city. you go to a good school. but... all is not how you exactly want it to be.

see, your parents are quite pushy. they expect you to live how they want, rather than how you do. at the all boy’s academy they enroll you in as a teenager, they expect you to pick what they deem as intellectual subjects, such as foreign languages, further mathematics and computer science. there’s a focus on you becoming someone that makes a lot of money, rather than someone who is happy.

but you’re... not the kind of person that can be molded so easily. you’re a fairly happy-go-lucky kid, but also a rebellious one. your parents’ strict ways of trying to force you down their chosen path, only encourages you more heavily to choose your own. 

at fourteen, you meet the guys. lennox, jovi & jasper. they’re some of the only kids at school who can be bothered to be around you, with your high energy and bolshy attitude. really, they’re the only people who embrace you for who you are. they encourage your weirdness and outspokenness. it’s not long before you find yourself wanting to do everything together. it’s not long before the four of you are inseparable.

from there, you fully detach from everything your parents want you to be. you embrace your individuality. you also find the courage and bravery to come out to your parents as non-binary at the age of sixteen. there’s not a single person’s opinion that you’re afraid of, or even care about. 

it’s not all rainbows & sunshine, though. you struggle somewhat with anger issues, and a bit of depression. you’re also practically addicted to getting into trouble: picking fights with bullies at school, selling weed & pills to your friends around town, underaged drinking... you get the gist. though you keep your fears internal, you sometimes worry you’ll get nowhere in life.

so of course, the second the boys are talking about starting a band, you’re all in. imagine if you made it big someday? wouldn’t that be sick? you’re immediately drawn to bass guitar, and use a month’s worth of saved up pocket money to pick one up from the big music store in the city. thankfully, you pick it up quite quickly, because before you can even realize it, things are getting so... real. by sixteen, you don’t feel you have the option to stick around at school for sixth form, because drive like i do is already playing local venues and working on its first album.

you’re just seventeen when the album is released. somehow, the climb to fame is faster than you could have ever imagined. it seems like yesterday you were still watching bass tutorials on youtube in your bedroom and practicing in your friend’s garage after school. first is some notoriety across the uk, but before you know it — boom! global stardom. the fame is a heavy weight for someone so young to carry... but fuck it, it’s gonna be fun, and you know it.

you’re twenty-three now, and days are gone of pipedreams formed in your parent’s shoebox room. you split your time between manchester, london, and LA — and that’s just during rare moments of downtime from your world tours. your band is 4 albums in, and whoever hasn’t heard of you might as well have been living under a rock. is it narcissistic to think like that? maybe, but you don’t care. this is rock n’ roll, baby. this is the life.

naturally, all eyes are mostly on your very outspoken frontman. he’s controversial, but the media can’t get enough of him. as for you? to them, you’re... the band’s problem child. while you argue that your behavior is no different than that of your friend, he’s got the lead singer charm. they don’t seem to like you as much. why? well...

‘drink, fall, spew...’ ( troublesome tendencies & exposed secret )

you never really coped as well as you acted like you did, did you? while you were grateful for the fame, everything was... a lot, and it was all at once. you didn’t even get the chance to process it. 

take four twenty-somethings and add constant prying journalists, paparazzi, and constantly full schedules into the mix. and why not pepper in some typical rockstar vices, too? alcohol, drugs, parties, throwaway sex. things are destined to get a little rocky. though you tried at first not to show it to your fans, your destructive behavior soon got the better of you, and you became known to drunkenly lash out at paps, smash cameras and storm out of interviews when the questions got too personal. 

this all came to a head when you were caught on camera several times distributing acid tabs, cocaine and mdma at events, music festivals & awards shows. the press gave the band a pretty bad time over this, and given the other members’ controversies and lennon’s similar link to drugs, it wasn’t a good look for any of you. 

it didn’t matter that you had a side to you that was good, pure. that you were always kind and loving and down-to-earth towards your fans and friends. you were a bad seed, and you wound up on exposed with the rest of your bandmates. hopefully you can prove there’s more to you than what the media shows...

‘oh & you say, i’m such a cliche...’ ( personality )

immm gonna rush thru this section & write less formally bc those other parts too me WAY too long

basically a literal toddler. loves a laugh, loves a good time, but get on his bad side and he WILL throw a tantrum

it’s mainly people like press & paps he lets his anger out on. the band’s fans and people he’s close with on a personal level know he’s a good person underneath it all

loves a bit of mischief / rebellion / drama

king of hiding insecurities....

literal softie.... like... who allowed this binch to be so soft. he’s so open about how much he loves his friends (particularly his bandmates) and will platonically kiss and hug and love people all the time, particularly on the show bc he’s trying to show the cameras his softer side dfjghdfdfg

so excitable like WHERE does this kid get all his energy...

( tw drugs ) will probably struggle a bit on the show without access to drugs, but ( tw addiction mention ) he has never really been addicted or dependent on them, just a frequent user.

outspoken as fuck, has no filter sometimes oops

very flamboyant, in line with the general aesthetic of his band but also on a personal level. sports a kind of soft gothic/punk/early 2000s emo look. always paints his nails and wears makeup etc

sleeps around a lot but has never really been able to find a lasting relationship, has just had a bunch of short-lived flings???? but lowkey develops crushes at the drop of a hat and would love to properly fall in love with someone who could be with him forever & accept him for all his flaws, but he highly doubts that will ever happen fgjdhsfg

‘why don’t you figure my heart out?...’ ( wanted connections )

exes on good terms

exes on bad terms ( maybe someone who actually really wanted to stay with him but couldnt deal with his bullshit and now resents him? )

 someone who loves the band’s music & inflates his ego ab it

 someone he hasn’t seen for years that he’s reunited on the show & maybe they’re revisiting old feelings for each other??? and he wants it to be DIFFERENT this time but also theres shit tons of fucking cameras and shit which... makes things difficult...

first friend he made in LA or in the states in general, someone who showed him the ropes

someone who hates him / hates the band like PLEASE

and also just a straight up enemy maybe?? someone who finds him annoying as fuck??

FRIENDS!!!

literally anything just hmu and lay an idea on me and theres 90% chance ill be down