#I CANNOT read stuff into his behaviour and everything in general

[carebird]

[La Danse Macabre]

I'm still in the process of reading DanMaca and it's fun so far.

[snipersfucker]

If ur still taking requests then I am curious on your take on how Mirage would go about a crush who is basically the opposite of him? Quiet, introverted, doesn't really live for the high life yet he still falls for them? I find him very attractive but I'd rather read a book than go on a joy ride lol, I'm afraid I'd only disappoint him

you just like meee but that would not be a problem for our boy at all, lemme tell you.......

i feel like he'd be a bit surprised? to come across such a quiet person. you know, not much experience with humans, being surrounded by loud sounds all the time, his fellow autobots always finding a way to talk back to him, scold him or just say random (very important, just not to him) stuff in general..... and noah talks a lot, too. he never shuts up.

he'd definitely observe you a lot, taking mental notes on your behaviour around people, on your responses to his words and everything

he'd find you interesting (always pictured him as the type of robot to perceive humans as wild animals in their natural habitat lmao)

you're reserved, introverted and he is absolutely mesmerised by the fact that you're so different than anyone he's come across before

i do feel like at first he'd either beg you to go and do stupid shit with him cuz that's just how he is, or trap you inside him and take you in a joy ride despite your protests

(he means well, he just wants to make sure you are having fun but by his definition lol)

but he'd gradually begin noticing how little to no interest you had for his type of time well spent. he wouldn't be disappointed per se, maybe just slightly..... hurt? probably thinking that you didn't want to spend time with him, that you thought he was too much and all.....

but he is hella wrong. and as soon as he realises you are just an exact opposite of him, not that you dislike his bubbly personality and cannot stand to be around him, he felt at least relieved

matter of time he'd start catching feelings. the fact that you are so peaceful, allowing him to just talk your ear off was much, much appreciated

he'd definitely try to spend as much time with you as possible, sometimes forgetting that you need some time alone

he'd literally agree to just sitting in silence with you if that's what you want, even though he always has at least three thousand thoughts that threaten to escape his mouth when the room's too quiet in his opinion

he wouldn't try to change you, the thought not even crossing his mind, not even once

he would understand your personality which was so different than his but that would be the reason he falls for you so hard, damn

i so so so see him with an introverted partner tbh

walk him like a dog energy. don't ask me.

if you are ever insecure about the fact that you're not a big fan of extreme shit like him and you think you disappoint him when you say no to his wild offers, he'd immediately reassure you that it's totally okay and that he won't push you to do anything you don't want to

"but i'll be there if you change your mind ;)"

(i kept messing up the tenses fsr tell me if thats too chaotic cuz lmao)

[boizdocry]

Nnoitra headcanon and stuff?

*_*

I'm more the canon-compliant type and do not have big headcanon a part from few things.

1) I think Nnoitra is a very immediate kind of person. I read many hc and fics where he is super tormented behind his grim and sadistic facade... btw, I think he is rather matter-of-factly in his drives and decisions. He likes to win, he doesn't mind to cheat to gain the upper hand, he is arrogant but upfront. If you ever read von Clausewitz, he is that crystal clear, cruel and unapologetic kind of "upfront". The real desperation comes from accepting and embracing the nonsensical violence that comes with the strive for survival. I respect that in him.

2) I think he doesn't obsess that much about sex and speaks about it more than he actually practices it. Btw, he likes his sex torrid and dirty, and clearly revolving around dynamics of submission-control, exactly because he is fine with violence and brutality and accepts them as part of the game.

Also, dirty talker af, likes to see how much he can arouse his partner.

3) I have this idiotic hc that he is the only Espada capable of sexual reproduction, exactly because of the desperate self-assertiveness of his personality.

4) I don't think his mysoginy is real. Yammy Yargo's is. When he says Neliel and Tesla Lindocruz he detests women fighting, I think he is being tranchant and over-semplifying feelings he simply doesn't care to explore.

5) I think he truly detests two things about women: a) women can bring life in their womb. This is how much opposite to despair as you might think. b) Women generally get protected and their lovers tend to fight for them: this is despicable, in Nnoitra's view, as he doesn't accept or either stand the "optimistic" implication of love and protection. If you are bereaved of all hopes, you will likely despise and spurn anything people generally hope for or that gives them strenght to thrive.

6) I have this headcanon he is too thin and someone sooner or later will try to feed him, the granny "Are you eating enough, son?" kind of feeding, you know. I'm Italian, food is love, feeding is caring.

7) I think he is fine with his nudity, perhaps a bit of an exhibitionist, too.

8) Everything about him is big. Yes, that thing too.

9) He has a strong but not unpleasant scent, like... salty, you know, like wet seasand.

10) Seems like he would listen a lot of low-quality rap music and probably delve into trashy whatever.

11) He is the guy sending you pics of ghastly and/or offensive/blasphemous things just for the sake of ruining your day.

12) His car would be big, noisy and annoying, an old bull-barred Jeep or so.

13) I see him more like a cat person. Perhaps he could even show a decent behaviour to his pet.

14) Seems a rather unexpensive dude, not minding to have costy dresses or such.

15) Has a taste for bitter stuff like 99% cocoa.

16) Good with hands. Yeah, in that sense too but I meant more like fixing stuff, tinkering, ecc.

17) Cannot sing decently or even play ant instrument, but is an excellent dancer.

18) Loves kids toys, they fascinate him.

[dashielldeveron]

hello!! i cannot put into words how obsessed with your writing i am! i’m sure you get this all the time but everything from the dialogue to the plot development to the character dynamics is absolutely insane. Seriously if i could write even half as well my ego would be so high it’s a miracle that you are so humble. Your soulmate series is genuinely the best series i’ve ever read on any site! I don’t know if this is odd to say but you write every character like they genuinely are your soulmate. If you said that you know them personally and intimately i would fully believe you. Obviously i have no clue what you do for a living but if it’s not writing you should 100% consider it because the world would be so much better off with more of your work.

I am so devastatingly interested in the shigarki route that you’re writing. His character arc is so interesting and he’s so complex that i’m buzzing with excitement to see what angle you approach while writing for him. Actually with the latest manga chapters, it’s so interesting how the core villains of the series have been denied humanity in some way by the general public and how that’s contributed to how they view themselves and the world (Shigarki especially). You captured that turmoil soo fucking well with Dabi’s route. I just know Shigarki’s chapter is gonna be what kills me.

Please take care of yourself!

!!!!!

>/////< ohhhhhh you are so very kind!!! it really means a lot to me that you would type all of this out to let me know!!!! especially that enormous compliment that it feels like i know the characters, geez!!! i am weaving all of your kind words into a tapestry to hang on my wall so that i can see it and feel all warm.

shigaraki rambling under the cut :)

goddd yes shigaraki is such a little weirdo and i've been so conflicted about where to go with him!!! he's difficult to write, esp. bc fanon and canon are very different; a lot of fanon grounds his behaviour when he's still incel-blue-hair-immature-gamer guy, and he's.............not even really mean? esp. not to the league??? rude, yes, but AFO has trained him to think of himself as an authoritative figure of respect, so of course when dabi is shit-talking tomura like he's just some guy, tomura is gonna get upset about that. he's mostly........pretty polite. eerily calm. not easily scared or startled.

but like. if you read a shigaraki fic, it's expected that he's gonna throw you around or steal your underwear, or something. so i'm nervous that some people are gonna read his route and think he doesn't sound like himself!!! and maybe he doesn't, but i tried v hard; i've reread a bunch of the manga and rewatched some of the anime to take notes about his dialogue and inflection, but i get nervous that bc he's not matching with popular fanon stuff that people are gonna be like "this is just [other character] in a shigaraki hat." but i try. shigaraki is a tough dude to write.

i've been reading shigaraki as being objectified (not in a sexy sense but in a literal sense) in the manga for a long time, so it's validating and awful to see all of these characters just fucking announce that shigaraki is a thing. feels weird, especially bc so much of the manga has been moving towards a message of a kinder humanity, even though i'm not certain hori is pulling that off as clearly as it could be. i worry, but shig is gonna come back to being tenko at the end, i think. i hope this comes across in his route!!!!

and ohhhhhh you had better take care of yourself!!! bc if shigaraki's route is gonna kill you, your funeral will be tonight!!!! (bad metaphor aside: shig's route is gonna be posted tonight, provided my beta reader gets back to me soon.)

thaaaaaaaaank you so much for enjoying my silly fic!!!! i hope the rest of it meets your expectations!!!!! xx.

[misscrawfords]

1,4,9,10,18 and 28 for the Austen asks. :)

Favorite Austen Heroine

Elizabeth Bennet. I know I'm basic but hey. I relate to her a lot (see previous post) and I just think she's so charming and clever and funny but also deeply flawed and has to do so much growing up.

4. Favorite quote from the books

I don't even know where to begin here! I love Mr. Collins' list of reasons for marrying ending with "and thirdly - which perhaps I should have mentioned earlier -" before going on to talk about Lady Catherine. I love "Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery". I love all of the catty asides about secondary characters - Miss Bingley saying what only made herself miserable, Dick Musgrove only deserving the abbreviation of his name... I love "we fainted alternately on the sofa" from Love and Freindship. More seriously, I love Henry Tilney's quote about how "no man is offended by another man's admiration of the woman he loves, it is the woman only who can cause pain" because BOOM TRUTH and it works for both genders. Also the sardonic "A lady's admiration is very rapid, it goes from admiraton to love, from love to matrimony in a moment" because, well, also true! Every line is quotable lbr. (Except that all of these are misquotes because I can't be bothered to look them up.)

9. Most hated foe of a heroine

Lucy Steele. Look, at a time in my life I sort of knew a Lucy Steele and so I really feel personally and viscerally how much her behaviour could hurt Elinor. The circumstances and personalities weren't the same but nevertheless I cannot stand the two-facedness of it and the crowing over getting the man your so-called friend wants. I hate it. I hate this behaviour so much. My own Lucy Steel kind of messed me up quite a bit so... yeah. She's a bit too close to home.

10. Most frustrating family member

Look. There are so many candidates for this. SO MANY. Every novel has a host of absolute winners for this award. I think I'm going to go with General Tilney as my number one, beating notable contenders such as Mr. Woodhouse, Mrs. Bennet, Sir Walter Elliot, Mr. Collins...

General Tilney does all the right things. But he's rotten to the core. You spend time with him and you hate it and you feel uncomfortable but you can't put your finger on why. As his children, you watch as all your friends arrive at your house ready for fun and leave depleted and they don't know why but they're a bit less eager to visit you the next time and it's really odd because they love you so much... General Tilney does nothng wrong socially. But he also does everything wrong. It must have been hell being his child. He's going to be such an exhausting father-in-law and you can't even pick on a particular thing to complain about.

18. Moment that made you smile/happy while reading

So many! But I'll go back to my earliest experiences of reading Pride and Prejudice as an 8 year old. I adored Mr. Collins' proposal and Lady Catherine's confrontation with Elizabeth. They made me laugh so much. I just loved the drama and the silliness.

28. Favorite character backstory or secret

It's got to be Frank and Jane. There's an entire extra novel there about what actually went on in Weymouth. Brilliant stuff and their eventual happiness so uncertain...

But a solid second prize has to go to Eleanor Tilney and Viscount Laundry List. Bless them!

Austen Asks

[josefavomjaaga]

Brun meets Soult

While I do have a soft spot for Soult, I very much can see why even his admirers and friends called his behaviour often „unpleasant“. Soult was the ultimate no-nonsense guy, as to be seen in the way his favourite aide-de-camp Brun de Villeret came into his service.

This Brun was an artillery officer, a military branch that necessitated a lot more theoretical knowledge and brains than other, so he cannot have been stupid. But Brun was a nobody, he lacked fortune, a big name or connections to people higher up the ladder, and apparently also the talent for self advertising. So by 1804 he was stuck in the position of aide-de-camp to a 60 year old general named François Antoine Joseph Nicolas Macors, one of the many officers whom the Revolution had allowed to rise in rank but who, according to Brun, lacked much of the knowledge necessary for this position, especially as far as administration and organization were concerned. Macors had an excellent chief-of-staff who, however, made him feel too clearly that he knew much more than his superior. So Macors had decided to only give this guy inconsequential stuff to do and to put his aide-de-camp, Brun, to the more important tasks. Brun would get the job done just as well, but without any snide remarks about badly educated generals who should occasionally read a manual instead of chasing skirts, and Macors would receive the credit for it.

Unfortunately for poor Macors, his unit at the time belonged to the camp of Saint-Omer, meaning that he, too, had a superior, a certain Marshal Soult, in command of that camp. And Soult expected detailed personal reports, for which Brun in vain tried to brief his general. As he writes:

I knew everything, I was able to respond to everything. But the information that I gave to my general did not fit into his head. At the report each morning, Marshal Soult, who wanted to know everything, asked him a thousand questions to which he did not know how to answer. The marshal wanted something positive and obtained only vague notions. He finally got tired of it and one day he told General Macors curtly that it was quite simple that at his age he was fed up with the details of the service, but that he would ask him to send him every day an officer who could give him all the information he needed.

Ow.

This message was understood, and felt painfully. As there was nothing to argue about, I was given the task of going every morning to report to the general-in-chief. It was a very flattering mission for a simple lieutenant, and it augured a happy future for me. Marshal Soult did not take long to make it clear that he was very satisfied with the exchange. For six years I had been an artillery lieutenant, and I had no hope of promotion. The marshal tried to get me one [...].

… and he even succeeded in obtaining the rank of capitaine for Brun from Napoleon. But Napoleon insisted that Brun then quit his position as aide-de-camp for Macors and serve in some regiment instead. And as the artillery commander at the camp of Boulogne was not in need of any officer of that rank right now (and, most likely, as this new capitaine was a total nobody without connections), Brun was sent away from the Grande Armée, at the head of only a handful of men, to serve in Toulon. What had looked like his one big chance seemed to turn into yet another dead end.

Which gave Soult yet another occasion to talk somebody out of quitting the service (though the conversation was probably a lot less dramatic than it had been with Saint-Chamans).

I went to see Marshal Soult and told him clearly that, rather than throw myself into such a cul-de-sac, I would renounce the promotion which he had been kind enough to obtain for me, or else that I would give my resignation. He answered me that my resignation would be a folly; that the Emperor would take a refusal of promotion very badly; that it was necessary to begin by obeying and that he would not delay in compensating me for the inconvenience I was experiencing by attaching me to his person as aide-de-camp.

Although Languedocien, Marshal Soult is not Gascon, and I left full of confidence in his word. […]

And not without reason, as by mid-November 1805 Brun received orders to join Soult on the campaign against Austria. Unfortunately, he only arrived after the battle of Austerlitz.

As to poor old Macors, whom Soult had dismissed in such a painful way, according to his Wikipedia page he became a member of the Légion d’Honneur and left the army for a position as military commander of Lille. So, nobody left out in the cold, but the guy who actually did the work for once got some recognition. Brun would soon join his colleagues in the service of Marshal Soult (and be rather taken aback by their behaviour).

[mint-yooxgi]

Gilded Gold - Yandere!Vampire Prince!Jaehyun X Reader

Yandere AU, Vampire AU, & Prince AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Smut (Someone goes a little feral at the end there)

Pairing: Jaehyun X Reader

Words: 22,845

Warnings: Jaehyun is pretty sadistic and manipulative in this one, as such there is a lot of violence and gore mentioned. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: It’s finally here! Omg, after months (again) of nothing, I'm really happy with the length of this one and how it turned out. Certain scenes are really good in my opinion, so hopefully you enjoy reading them just as much as I enjoyed writing them. I’ve nearly had this idea planned out for almost a year, so I'm happy that I've finally finished writing it all out. Tbh, certain scenes are pretty self indulgent... Anyways, I do really hope you enjoy this one, please do let me know what you think! Feedback is always appreciated!

“Is everything prepped and ready for tomorrow?” He asks, expression stern as he looks towards his adviser. 

“Yes, my Prince,” with a nod from the adviser, a smirk begins to slowly spread itself across Jaehyun’s lips.

“Perfect,” a dark look takes over his features, smirk now fully formed as he thinks over his plan once more.

Tomorrow will change everything, and he can hardly wait. For too long he’s waited, watching in the shadows until this day would come. Until finally, he can have everything that he’s ever wanted. Tomorrow, he’ll finally have you.

From the first moment he saw you all those months ago, he knew he had to have you. The way you so willingly went out of your way to help your neighbours with their little market stand only confirmed to Jaehyun that you’re a kindhearted individual. However, if it weren’t for the way you cussed out an older man for attempting to hit on your younger sister, he would have assumed you to be too soft. That is what intrigued him: that you could look so innocent on the outside, but on the inside, contain a strong, level-head, is what drew him to you.

Since then, he’s been sneaking out of the castle at least five times a week to find you, and once he did, he couldn’t stop himself from simply observing you. He became another shadow in the night, and you were none the wiser as to the monster lurking just outside of your window.

The day he learnt that you had no potential suitors, he swears he had never been happier in all his long years of living. It took him a bit of persuading, but he eventually convinced his mother to let himself actively pursue you. She was a bit wary at first, having never met you, nor even having heard of you before. The fact that you’re a mere human, and a commoner, no less, concerned her greatly. However, he made sure to take care of everything before your arrival. After all, you’re his responsibility now, and he’ll make sure to take care of you in any and every way that he can. 

Soon, the whole kingdom will know that you are meant to be his, the Crown Prince’s very own betrothed. The announcement might turn some heads, considering everyone is aware of the vampire society, and how the creatures of the night reign over them, but he’s counting on the support from those whom support interspecies relationships. It will be a huge step in a positive direction for his family to bring a common human into their inner circle. Not that you would have a choice, whether you know it or not.

That night, he barely gets any rest, too excited for what is to come tomorrow. He has it all planned out, the outfit he’s going to wear, how he’s going to make a grand entrance when meeting you for the first time, as well as the first thing he’s going to say to you once he sees you. 

His eyes flash red. Fuck, he finally gets to see you in person with you actually aware of his presence this time. Oh, how he can hardly wait to see your reaction when you gaze upon him for the first time. A smirk slowly tugs at his lips as he envisions the scene in his head, your awestruck face, the wonder shining in your eyes, and the way you’ll bite your lip as you take him in with the realization that he’s all yours.

Tomorrow cannot come fast enough.

That next morning you are awoken by the sound of your mother answering the front door. Muffled voices reach your ears as you bury yourself deeper into the warmth of your comforter. The sound of your door creaking has your eyes flinging open as your mother storms into your room.

“Get up! There’s a royal advisor at our front door asking for you, personally,” she tears your blankets off of you before moving over to your dresser to pull out some of your nicest clothes. “Apparently he has a message from the Prince. For you.”

“For me?” Your head is reeling at the thought of a royal advisor visiting you with a personal message from the Prince himself. What would the Prince want with you? You have no idea.

“Yes, you,” your mother tuts at your confused look as you clamber out of bed. “Now hurry up and get dressed. Don’t keep him waiting.”

Without another word, your mother leaves your room, heading back downstairs so as not to keep the advisor alone for too long. She would have made your sister keep him company, but she had to go to work this morning.

Squinting at your now closed door, you shift your gaze over to the outfit she has so meticulously picked out for you to wear. The clothes are quite literally the nicest ones you own, and your frown deepens. What message could possibly warrant you wearing your nicest clothes?

Yawning, you rub at the sleep still in your eyes. Screw formalities, it’s just a message, it can’t be that serious. Forgoing the outfit, you quickly head to the bathroom to freshen up and at least make yourself look presentable. No matter what this message turns out to be, you’re going to hop right back into bed afterwards anyways, so you see no point in getting dressed.

Making your way downstairs, you hear soft chatter coming from the front room, and as soon as you enter you can feel your mother’s scrutinizing gaze on you for not changing. You briefly make eye contact with her before turning your attention to the unfamiliar man standing across from her. You can already tell from his proper stature and from the royal emblem hanging proudly on the left side of his uniform that he’s the advisor.

“Ah, good, you must be Miss (Y/n), it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he bows to you. “My name is Minho, and I come bearing a message from Prince Jaehyun himself.”

You bow back respectfully, nodding for him to continue as your mother smiles almost nervously from the side of the room.

“You are to be moved to the castle immediately,” he says as your eyes go wide. “You are to be betrothed to Prince Jaehyun effective immediately.”

“Excuse me?” Your jaw has dropped, disbelief clear on your face.

“You are to be moved-“

“No, no, I heard you,” you cut him off, “I meant, what the actual fuck?”

“(Y/n)!” Your mother scolds.

“What? You’re telling me that this completely unprompted visit is to tell me I am to become the prince’s fiancée without any say in the matter?” You ask, incredulously.

“I apologize, I should have been clearer,” Minho clears his throat. “You do get a choice, as it is the Prince’s intention to court you first. However, in doing so, it requires you to come stay at the palace for the time being.”

“I-“ your mouth gapes like a fish out of water, “do I have a choice in this?”

“Of course!” Minho immediately responds. “I understand this is very sudden, and probably very confusing, but the Prince promised to explain everything once you have arrived to the palace for the day. We really shouldn’t keep him waiting too long.”

“I-“ you’re about to object once more when your mother cuts you off.

“Go with him, sweetie,” you frown at the look she’s giving you. You don’t think you’ve ever heard her voice sound so tense, completely different to how she looked when she first entered your room not ten minutes ago. “He told me you would have to leave immediately, so I’ll send a few bags with your stuff later this week.”

“But mom-“

“No buts,” she smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and the Prince chose you, no less. Please be on your best behaviour.”

“Great, then it’s settled!” Minho smiles, beginning to exit the room in order to walk towards the front door. He places a hand at the small of your back and guides you along with him, with you too stunned to say much else. “Thank you for your hospitality,” he bows to your mother once at the door, “we’ll be in touch.”

With those words, he is leading you out of the front and to the car that awaits at the end of the driveway. By now, a few of your neighbours have stepped outside their homes to view what is going on, and you can see them whispering to themselves as you are ushered into the back seat. You only wish you got to say goodbye to your sister before you had to leave.

“Guess leaving is so urgent that I can’t change out of my pyjamas, huh?” You joke, a hint of seriousness to your tone as you cross your arms. 

Minho soon slides into the front seat beside the driver whom has been waiting in the car this whole time.

“I’m afraid not, Miss,” he replies, pulling out his phone. “We’re on a tight schedule today.”

You sigh, leaning your head on your hand as you look out of the window. You see more neighbours watching the car go down the road as you drive off, and you begin to wonder how you even got into this mess. Though you will admit, a part of you is intrigued. To catch the eye of the Prince, the Vampire Prince, no less, is causing your heart to race. 

You’ve seen a few photos of the Prince before in passing, and he does look very handsome, so a part of you is curious to see if that’s actually true. Another part of you feels excitement at the thought of being sought after by the prince himself. Maybe that’s why you’re not putting up more of a fuss at this matter. A sigh escapes your lips at the thought, and you begin to wonder what exactly is in store for you once you arrive at the castle.

About forty-five minutes later, you arrive at the palace. Your breath is quite literally stolen away as you gaze upon the fortress in awe, taking in the arches and crevices in the architecture, along with its massive size.

“If you think the outside is grand, just wait until you see the inside,” Minho chuckles, noting your gaze of wonderment.

His words manage to pull you out of your admiration of the palace and back to the steps in front of you which lead up to the front doors. Shaking your head slightly, you clear your thoughts. You’re sure you’ll have plenty of time to admire and explore the castle once you get settled inside.

“So, uh…“ you trail off, following Minho up the steps, not knowing what to ask first.

“I’ll be leading you to your personal chambers while you’re going to be staying here, then some servants will be coming to prepare you for lunch with the Prince,” Minho explains, and you nod along absentmindedly, still too distracted by the grand stonework of the building, of which is much more intricate on the inside. “I’m sure His Royal Highness would gladly take you on a tour of the premisses, given how intrigued you seem to be by the grounds already.”

At this you can feel your face heat up in slight embarrassment, “sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize, Miss,” Minho smiles at you assuringly. “It’s quite nice to see someone admiring the architecture once more.”

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head slightly in curiosity.

“Oh, it’s just been quite a while since we’ve had a new guest who’s admired the detailing as you are,” he says.

“Must not get many new guests then,” you mutter, but he still manages to hear you.

“No, not really,” he sighs, eyes soon going wide as he’s come to realize what he’s just said, clearing his throat in the next moment. “I mean, I’ve said enough already.”

You simply hum in response as he leads you through some side corridors and up another set of stairs. You can feel your legs burning at the amount of flights you’ve climbed, not used to the amount of steps yet. Once you reach the tops of the stairs, you find yourself resting your hands on your knees in order to catch you breath.

“One second,” you hold up a finger, indicating to Minho to stop and let you catch your breath.

“Alright, but we really mustn’t delay, Miss,” he says, worry flashing briefly in his eyes, but it passes so quickly that you do not see it.

After a few moments, you right yourself, taking a deep breath before nodding at him to continue. He nearly breathes a sigh of relief as he continues to lead you down the hallway you’re now in, checking his watch on the way and noticing he’ll make it just in time. It’s important for everything to go according to schedule today, or so the Prince has reminded him countless times, along with the other staff. Everything has to be perfect.

Leading you to a set of doors near the end of the hallway, Minho pushes them both open to reveal a large room full of everything you could possibly think of. You’re pretty sure this room is the size of your entire main floor of your house, complete with a four post king sized bed, privacy screen which looks like it leads to another part of the room, along with various shelves, desks, and cabinets spread throughout. To say you are awestruck would be an understatement.

You take your time wandering around the room, opening one of the side doors to find an adjacent bathroom built for the gods. A large tub rests on one side, along with a set of double sinks, a large mirror that takes up the entire wall, along with a huge shower which you believe also works as a sauna. You are hardly able to believe what you’re seeing, this is all so unbelievable. To think, your lifestyle quite literally has changed in the blink of an eye. 

Now, if only you could see what rests behind the privacy screen. You’ve avoided opening the doors so far due to the fact that you’re unsure what’s waiting for you on the other side. In the back of your mind, you hope it’s not another room. More particularly, that it’s not the Prince’s room.

The whole time that you spend exploring your new room, Jaehyun stands just off to the side beside the privacy screen where you cannot see him. A smirk is ever present on his face. He could smell your scent getting closer with every step you took down the hallway, only serving to make his dead heart race in his chest. He cannot help how his mouth salivates at the thought of you now only being one room away, nothing more than a thin set of doors standing between your bodies. He can hardly wait to meet you.

After a few more moments of you taking in your new room, you turn to look at Minho, “so, uh, am I allowed to see what’s behind those privacy doors,” you motion to them with your head, “or is that part off-limits?”

Your attempt at a joke earns a small chuckle from him, “actually, I believe the Prince should be joining us soon.”

“Is that the Prince’s room?” Your eyes widen as your suspicion is all but confirmed. You know you’re expected to become close with him, but you aren’t expecting to be literally sharing a room.

“Oh, no!” Minho is quick to answer, to which you breathe a small sigh of relief. “I believe His Highness went to inspect the second portion of your room earlier, before your arrival, in order to make sure everything is up to his standards.”

“Ah, I see,” you nod in understanding. “Glad to know he’s taking such precautions for me.”

Of course! He wants nothing but the best for you, after all. It’s what you deserve. Jaehyun’s smirk only grows, and he takes your words as his cue to finally make his presence known, and finally enter the room.

Ever so slowly, you notice a shadow forming behind the semi-transparent screen. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, racing at the prospect of finally being able to meet the Prince in person. Little do you know, that this is not the first time that the Prince will be seeing you.

Just like a scene from a movie, the doors part, Prince Jaehyun stepping through the threshold. His gaze lingers on the ground briefly before finally looking upwards to lock gazes with you. Your breath hitches, and you can feel your heart skipping a beat, all of which does not go unheard by Jaehyun, only serving to make him more smug during this time. Besides, the smirk resting on his features only adds to his charming good looks as he takes a confident step forwards, slowly making his way over to you.

The whole time, your eyes never leave his. Again, to say you’re stunned would be an understatement. You don’t think you’ve ever seen a finer looking specimen in your entire life, and from the looks of things, he can read your expression like an open book. 

For a brief moment, your gaze rakes over his entire body, and you have to stop yourself from inhaling sharply once more. He’s wearing the finest embroidered suit that you’ve ever seen in your life, the sharp gold thread contrasting with the black fabric. You know the suit must have cost a fortune, just from the design alone, not to mention the materials. The detailing of the floral design, combined with the surrounding leaves is stunning, but what catches your attention the most is the fact that he’s not wearing a shirt beneath the suit jacket. You can see the smooth skin of his chest on display, only serving to make you lick your lips in admiration, anticipation lingering in your chest. For what, you aren’t quite sure, but fuck, you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t think he was extremely attractive.

His chest swells with pride. He knew you would react like this, only confirming to him that you also find him as attractive as he finds you. Well, considering all the peasants you had to endure back in your hometown, he’s not surprised. As if any of them ever stood a chance with you. Well, not if he had anything to say about it.

So far, everything is going exactly how he has planned it to, and he couldn’t be more happier in this moment. Minho was on time and everything, though Jaehyun worried at one point that you were running behind schedule. He cannot let that happen, everything needs to run like clockwork in order for things to be perfect.

The one thing that he wishes more than anything that he could do right now would be to take you into his arms, but he knows that would be overstepping boundaries at the moment. The last thing he wants to do is scare you off on the first day. After all, since you’re going to be spending eternity together, he doesn’t want to push you away now.

You don’t mean to stare as you have been, but you cannot help it. With wide eyes and slightly parted lips, you continue to stand there, almost dumbfounded by the current events. By now, you are most certainly regretting not listening to your mother to change into your nicest clothes. Meeting the Prince while still in your pyjamas is making you feel a bit self-conscious. How embarrassing, to meet him while you’re still in your sleep clothes.

On the other hand, Jaehyun thinks that it’s so endearing that you’re still dressed in your pyjamas. Were you that excited to meet him that you couldn’t even wait to leave, meaning you forwent changing? How adorable.

“Miss (Y/n), may I formally introduce you to Prince-“

“Jung Jaehyun,” he cuts Minho off, taking your hand into his own in order to bring it to his lips and kiss the back of it tenderly. Oh, how soft your skin feels against his own. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Introducing yourself, your voice is a bit airy, still breathless due to everything that you’ve encountered so far. You’re especially impressed with the way he’s held himself, “the pleasure is all mine, Your Highness.”

“Please,” he smiles, running his thumb over the skin on the back of your hand before releasing his hold on you and returning his hands to his sides, “call me Jaehyun.”

You smile back politely, thoughts running through your head a mile a minute. All the while, your nerves begin to grow, and you begin to ponder why exactly it was you that he chose. You don’t necessarily think you’re anything special, but Jaehyun would beg to differ.

“Um, I was told that we were going to be dining soon?” You ask, shifting slightly from foot to foot as you attempt to break the small silence that has settled over the three of you. You figure Minho is probably avoiding saying anything right now out of respect for you and the Prince.

“Ah, yes,” Jaehyun nods once in confirmation. “That is, if you’re willing to join me for lunch. Of course, I’ll let you change first, unless you’d prefer to stay in those.”

At the motion of his head towards your choice in outfit, you can feel your cheeks heating up once more in embarrassment.

“Oh, uh…” you avoid his gaze for the first time today, and he can’t help but be reminded of how cute you are as you add quietly, “I don’t have anything else to wear.”

He simply quirks a brow in response, “has Minho not shown you your wardrobe yet?”

“No, I-“ you smile sheepishly, “I didn’t get a chance to pack any of my own clothes before I left. I mean, I didn’t even have a chance to change.”

He chuckles this time in response, “come with me, Princess.”

You cannot deny the way your heart positively flutters when he calls you that. A fact which only makes him smile subtly. You haven’t even known him for more than fifteen minutes and he already sets your heart racing. A fact which only serves to stroke his ego even further. This is going even better than anything he could have ever planned.

Leading you over to a side door that resides in the second half of your room, of which you notice is a lavish seating area complete with a chaise, he opens it. A grandiose closet is revealed to you, filled with the most lavish pieces of clothing you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Dresses, shirts, skirts, you name it, line the shelves. Rows upon rows of accessories cause your eyes to widen even further than they already have. You cannot help the surprised gasp that escapes your lips as you take it all in.

“Is this-“ you blink, attempting to wrap your head around everything as you try to get the words out, “is this-“

“It’s all for you, Princess,” Jaehyun smiles at your wide eyed expression.

“I-“ you turn to him, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he assures you.

“Honestly, I’m torn,” you bite your lip nervously.

He simply quirks a brow at you to continue, despite the fact a frown wants to pull onto his features.

“I’m torn between ‘I can’t accept this’, and ‘thank you so much’,” you admit, and you hear him chuckle once more. Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Minho tense.

“Always so humble,” he hums. “Don’t worry about it, it’s a gift.”

“I-“ you take a deep breath, “thank you.”

He smiles, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants, “just promise me that you’ll use it.”

You notice how he motions to the closet with his head, and you immediately nod, “of course.”

“Good,” he nods once. “Well, I’ll let you get ready. Maria and Greta should be arriving soon to prepare you for lunch.”

As soon as he finishes speaking, a soft knock sounds at your bedroom door, signifying the arrival of the two aforementioned women. He could hear them walking down the hallway and figured now would be as good a time as ever to take his leave, even if it will be momentarily.

“I’ll see you soon, Princess,” with those words, he walks out of your room. 

The two women whom have been patiently waiting in the hallway to come in now step inside as Minho steps out of the room following Jaehyun. You notice that they look somewhat nervous, approaching you carefully as if you’re someone to be cautious of. You send them a reassuring smile, introducing yourself shortly after.

“It’s nice to finally meet the woman the Prince has been talking non-stop about,” Maria admits, seeming to relax more now that you’ve talked to the two of them.

“Maria,” Greta hisses while elbowing her partner. Your brow furrows, it seems as if they’re not allowed to talk about that in front of you.

“He’s talked about me?” You question as they move you into the closet to pick out an outfit for the day.

“Oh yes,” Maria nods. “He’s been very… excited for you to come visit the palace.”

“I won’t warn you again,” Greta narrows her eyes at Maria disapprovingly.

“Am I not allowed to ask about it then?” You frown.

“Oh, you can ask any and all the questions you’d like,” Greta answers, pulling a simple gown down from the racks. “We’re just not supposed to talk about certain things.”

“Like the Prince?”

“Listen dearie,” Greta sighs. “If you knew what’s best for you, you’d run, and run far.”

Her words only serve to confuse you even more, especially at the nervous expression Maria now wears on her face.

“Is there something I should know?” You ask as they help you into the dress.

“Don’t listen to Greta, dear,” Maria pats your arm gently once the dress is secure. “The Prince is a wonderful gentleman, and from the looks of things, he’s completely smitten with you.”

“But he hardly even knows me,” you mumble as they start to work on your hair.

“He knows you better than you think,” Greta’s voice is barely above a whisper. In fact, it’s so faint, you don’t catch all of what she says.

“Pardon me?” You catch her gaze in the mirror they have you sitting in front of now.

“All the more reason for you to get to know him better,” she corrects herself with a smile, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Maria manages to change the subject shortly after by asking you questions about yourself, and her telling you small stories about her life. The two of you are able to connect well quickly, and you know that if she continues to look after you while you’re here, you will have a friend in her. Greta, on the other hand, you’re not so sure about.

Not only does she continuously look at you with worry in her eyes, she scolds Maria any time she thinks Maria has overstepped any sort of boundary. The amount of times Maria has begun to tell you about the Prince, only for her to be cut off by Greta soon after is astounding. Hopefully you can get some answers from the Prince himself. After all, you are going to lunch together.

“There, all finished,” Maria smiles warmly at you as she helps you stand up.

“Thank you,” you smile back, smoothing out the front of your gown subconsciously.

“Come now,” Greta says, checking her watch, “or else we’ll be late.”

“Oh dear, we wouldn’t want that,” Maria suddenly looks worried. “We’ll lead you to the dining room. His Highness should already be waiting.”

“I guess I shouldn’t keep him waiting, then,” you joke as you three move to exit the room.

You fail to notice the brief glance the two of them share as Greta says, “no, you really shouldn’t.”

Without another word, you all make your way down the hallway, them leading you to where Jaehyun has instructed them to meet him. As he hears you approaching, a small smile tugs at his lips. He can’t wait to start his forever with you, and today is day one.

“Ready for lunch?” He asks, turning around just as you walk up to him.

You nod, humming your eagerness. You can’t wait to see what they decide to serve to eat, you are in a palace after all. Besides, the company is wonderful so far, and you really want to get to know him better.

Lunch with Jaehyun passes by far too quickly for either of your likings, and before you know it, you’re both finished. To say that you enjoy your time with him would be an understatement. Not only was the food delicious, but you also got to do what you wanted and get to know him better. One thing you know for sure, is that he has a beautiful smile, of which you hope to see more of. Plus, he’s got the cutest dimples you’ve ever seen.

After lunch, he gives you a tour of the castle, and once again, your breath is stolen from your lungs. The whole time you spend admiring the architecture, Jaehyun spends admiring you. His dead heart races in his chest every time he looks over to see that awestruck expression on your face. You’re so beautiful, and the fact that you’re admiring everything he shows you so far, along with how grateful you’ve been towards him, assures him that he’s made the best choice in choosing you as his fiancée.

Every so often, his hand will brush against your own as he walks with you through the castle. You cannot help the rush you feel each time he does this, his touch both innocent and teasing at the same time. Each brush only makes a subtle smirk pull at his own lips, knowing he already has such an effect on you.

All too soon, the afternoon comes to an end and he’s leading you back to your room for the evening. He’s told you that you’ll more than likely be meeting his mother tomorrow, so you should get as much rest as you can, considering how hectic the day has been for you.

“If you ever need me, I’m just down the hallway to your left,” he tells you, of which you find yourself nodding in response. “If an emergency ever arises, come and get me. No matter the time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you say, lips twitching upwards in a half smile. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” he returns your smile. “I’ll always be here for you.”

By now, the two of you have stopped just outside of your bedroom door. You stare deeply into his eyes, and you can see the sincerity reflected in them. Your lips part slightly as you take a small step backwards as he continues to stare intensely at you, almost as if he’s in a daze.

Before you know it, he’s blinking as if to clear his head while clearing his throat, “well, I’ve got a few things to attend to before dinner. I’ll have someone bring you something to eat for then. In the meantime, feel free to do whatever you’d like, just let Maria know where you’ll be.”

“Sounds good,” you smile once more.

“See you later, Princess,” he grins, grabbing your hand in order to place a gentle kiss onto the back of it, successfully making your face warm. Without another word, he takes his leave. 

Watching his figure disappear down the hallway, you let out a blissful sigh. Lunch was enjoyable, and you can’t wait to see what else he has in store for you. Not only that, but you can’t wait to further explore the castle and find your favourite spots. Hopefully you can find a little nook to read some of the books from the massive library that caught your eye while you explored with Jaehyun.

Entering your room, you bite your lip. The only thing you’re particularly nervous about would be meeting his mother. Based off of what he’s told you about her so far, she can be very picky about mannerisms, and it can be difficult for anyone new to impress her. Maybe that’s what Minho meant by no one new has come to the palace for a long time. You just hope you can make a good impression, or at least good enough for her to at least tolerate you. After all, if you’re to marry her son, having her like you would be a huge success.

“You okay there?” Maria’s voice manages to pull you out of your own thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” you reply absentmindedly, walking further into the room as the door falls shut. Your brow furrows slightly as you notice Greta isn’t with her this time. “Where’s Greta?”

Maria stiffens ever so slightly, “she has this afternoon and evening off.”

“Ah, makes sense,” you nod, moving to sit on your bed.

“Is there anything I can get for you, Miss?” She asks politely.

“Not at the moment, thank you,” you shoot her a grateful smile. “I think I might just nap, I am a bit sleepy.”

“Alright, well, I’ll help you change,” 

“No need, I can do it myself,”

“No, please, I insist,” she’s already begun to move around your room and grabs a fresh set of clothes for you to change into. “After all, it’s what I’m here for.”

“Well, okay,” you sigh softly, allowing Maria to help you change.

Once done, the two of you just sit together in your room talking about anything and everything. She tells you that her family has always served the Jung’s for as long as she can remember, but she doesn’t mind it here. Apparently, the job pays really well, and they get ample time off.

Before you know it, there is a knock on your door and another servant is there holding a tray for you piled high with plates containing your evening meal. You thank them and move to take the tray from their hands, but they insist on putting it down for you. They set everything up for you on the table in your room before bowing respectively and leaving you to your own with Maria still patiently standing off to the side.

Sitting back down, your eyes rake over the food now resting in front of you. This is one of your favourite meals, but Jaehyun couldn’t possibly know that. Could he?

“The Prince made special preparations for you before you came,” Maria says, noticing your stare.

“This is my favourite dish,” you comment.

“I take it everything is to your liking, then?” She smiles.

“Of course, but I still don’t understand how he knows this is my favourite dish,” you say.

“If I’m not mistaken, I believe he was informed by your mother,”

“He’s talked with my mom?” Your eyes widen slightly in surprise.

“Oh, I mean, Minho was told by your mother, who in turn told Prince Jaehyun when he got back to the palace today,” Maria is quick to correct herself.

“Ah, I see,” you turn back to the food spread out in front of you. “Oh my! Where are my manners? Would you like anything?”

Maria almost looks caught off guard by your offer of sharing your food with her, “oh, no, thank you! I couldn’t.”

“Nonsense,” you shake your head, pushing one of the many side dishes over to her. “I don’t like eating alone, anyways.”

“Are you sure?” Her voice is hesitant, gnawing her bottom lip in worry.

“Of course,” you confirm. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”

“Thank you, Miss,” she graciously accepts the dish, grabbing a set of utensils to join you in eating.

You simply smile at her in response, happy to be sharing your favourite meal with someone else. Her presence brings you comfort in this still unfamiliar place, of which you know will take some getting used to, despite the tour you took today. After all, you are alone, and far from home.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun paces in his study. He sent Minho to gather Greta for him just before you came to meet him downstairs for lunch that day. He overheard what she told you, and to say he was not impressed would be an understatement. Is she trying to make him look bad in front of you? No matter, he’ll dispose of the problem soon enough.

“Minho, I still don’t understand what’s going on-“ Greta’s voice gets caught in her throat once she is escorted inside the study to see Jaehyun now leaning against his desk with his arms crossed.

“Your Highness,” she bows respectively. “How may I be of service to you?”

“I have a favour to ask of you, Greta,” the way he says her name sends a shiver of fear running down her spine: full of venom and malice.

“Y-yes, sir, what is it?” Her blood is rushing through her. She’s heard of the Prince’s famous glare but never having been on the receiving end, there’s nothing that could have prepared her for the look of bloodlust in his eyes that came about so suddenly.

“I want you to run, Greta,” he pushes himself off the edge the desk, staring directly into her eyes, “and run far.”

A gasp escapes her lips. He heard.

“Well?” He hums, tauntingly, amusement shining in his eyes as he stares at her now trembling form. “What are you waiting for? That’s an order.”

With a shaky nod from her, she’s bustling out of the room and down the hallway. He can still hear the sound of her racing heart even after she makes it to the floor below him.

The malicious grin never leaves his lips as he begins to make his way out of his study. Currently, he is a predator stalking their prey. This’ll be fun, he hasn’t had to chase his prey in a while, and he cannot wait to tear into her throat. How dare she even suggest that you run from him. He would never hurt you. 

Anyone else, on the other hand? Fair game.

“Are you really sure this is necessary, my Prince?” Minho nervously watches Jaehyun as he passes through the doorway into the hall.

“Of course,” Jaehyun smiles, but it only serves to unnerve Minho as Jaehyun’s eyes flash red in the next moment. “She nearly lost me what is mine.”

In the blink of an eye, Jaehyun is gone from his sight, and Minho can only breathe a sigh of relief that he’s left unharmed this evening. Once Jaehyun sets his mind to something, there is no changing it. No one can stop him when he’s on a warpath, and Minho is just glad that he isn’t on the receiving end of one of the Prince’s violent episodes.

It takes Jaehyun mere seconds to catch up with Greta, who has been able to make it into the grand foyer before the main doors. He slams her against the wall, hearing a few of her bones fracture due to the impact. Her whimpers and pleas for her own life fall on deaf ears, even as more servants shuffle passed. They all know not to get involved, lest they want to suffer the same fate as Greta. Too many have learned that the hard way.

The last thing she sees is Jaehyun’s malicious smirk, fangs on full display as he tears into her throat. Once he’s sure she’s dead, he tosses her body aside, letting the blood spill over the floor. He spits the chunk of her neck he has in his mouth onto her body, a look of pure disgust on his face as he glares down at her corpse.

“Somebody clean this mess up,” he snarls out as he turns his back to her body. The others are frozen in fear, but his growl manages to have a few snapping immediately to their senses and rushing over to Greta’s dead body. “Now!”

He doesn’t stick around to see if they remove her or not, opting to head straight to his room for the evening. He wants to see you again, but he knows that it might be too soon. Besides, with his emotions heightened at the moment, he would potentially be putting you in danger. At least he’ll still be able to smell your scent, and hear whatever it is that you’re doing. That’s enough for him, for now.

A smile tugs at his lips as he faintly hears you conversing with Maria about something that happened to you during your childhood. He knew placing Maria with you as your personal assistant would be a good idea. Greta was his mother’s choice, and he had a feeling she was going to be nothing but a nuisance for him. Nothing is going to get in his way of winning your heart. Nothing. Everything has to go according to plan.

The following morning, he does a brief check of the front foyer to make sure everything has been cleaned properly, and that nothing remains of the events of that previous evening. The last thing he wants is for you to see something like that. Seeing that it’s been cleared of any evidence, he smiles, making his way back upstairs to finally greet you for the day.

To be quite honest, he is a little nervous himself for you to meet his mother. She didn’t exactly approve of him essentially stalking you, what he just calls taking a keen interest in making sure you’re doing alright. If Greta was any indication of how his mother will act, he knows she’ll probably devise a plan to take you away from him, or worse, make you afraid of him. After all, she knows exactly how her son can be.

Knocking gently on your door, he can hear your soft footfalls as you walk closer to him. He can’t wait to see you, and when you open the door to reveal yourself he most certainly is not disappointed with what he sees. How you look more beautiful every time he sees you is a mystery to him. One thing he knows for sure though, is that you’ve enchanted him since the moment he first laid eyes on you.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he smiles, noticing how you react positively to his words.

“Good morning,” you greet back politely, a small smile gracing your own features.

“Did you sleep well?” He asks, noticing Maria has already remade your bed.

“Quite,” you nod, smile only widening as you look at him. “Did you?”

“I did indeed,” he hums in response, though he would have slept better if you were in his arms. “Are you ready for today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you let out a nervous chuckle as you step into the hallway, closing the door gently behind you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be with you the whole time,” he assures you, extending his arm out for you to loop yours with his. “Let’s get going.”

“Yes, let’s,” you hum back, taking his arm as you begin to walk down the hallway. “Any advice for me before we meet you mother?”

“Just be your usual charming self, and I’m sure you’ll be fine,” he squeezes your arm slightly, causing you to look over to already see him smiling at you.

You say nothing but choose to nod in understanding. You just hope your usual charming self doesn’t do or say anything that might embarrass you.

The two of you make idle chat as you make your way to the throne room to meet his mother. He manages to make you laugh, loosening your tense shoulders slightly as you relax the more he’s able to distract you. The whole time, he observes you fondly, glad to know that he can ease your nerves slightly, even if you’ve only officially known each other for a day. If only he could help you to relax in any and every other way he knows how.

All too soon, you’ve arrived just outside the doors to the throne room. Minho already stands waiting outside the grand set of double doors for the two of you, announcing your arrival to the queen as the doors part for you to walk through. 

Your heart races in your chest, nerves momentarily returning as you’re faced with the task at hand. This is one of the most important moments in your mind, for if his mother doesn’t approve of you, you do not know what will happen. That being said, you want to make sure to make the best impression you can on his mother, no matter what happens.

Walking into the room, you see his mother already sitting on her throne, watching the two of you as you approach where she is seated. Her gaze is scrutinizing, though it seems as if she’s watching he son more closely than she’s watching you. A fact which confuses you slightly since you would have assumed she would be more interested in how you hold yourself around her son rather than how her son holds himself around you. However this may be, you’re only grateful for the momentary relief you feel as you finally stop just before her throne.

“Mother, I’d like to formally introduce you to the woman whom I’d like to become my betrothed,” Jaehyun introduces you, telling her your name shortly after.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Your Majesty,” you say, bowing politely in introduction to the queen.

“Please, Your Majesty sounds so formal,” the queen waves her hand slightly in the air as if dismissing the remark before leaning forwards slightly in her throne, “call me Cathy.”

“Huh,” you muse, “like mother, like son.”

“Oh?” Cathy’s amusement is clear on her face as she looks from Jaehyun over to you.

“Yes,” you confirm. “It seems not liking titles runs in the family. Jaehyun’s also told me to call him by his name instead of his title.”

“Has he now?” Cathy leans back, eyeing her son suspiciously. That’s very unlike her son, as he only ever allows people to call him by his title, no matter who they may be. You must be important to him then, a fact which only causes her worry for you to grow. None of her son’s other playthings ever got to address him by his first name. “And has he been treating you alright so far?”

Jaehyun’s eyes narrow ever so subtly at his mother, for he knows what game she’s playing. Like hell she’ll catch him slipping up.

“He’s been nothing but a gentleman since I’ve arrived,” you respond, and if your words don’t fill his chest with pride, nothing else will. He can hardly wait for you to see what else he has in store for you.

“I see,” she hums, placing her hands gracefully in her lap.

“I’d also just like to thank you very much for your hospitality, and for letting me stay at the palace during this time,” you bow deeply once more. “Thank you.”

“Of course, sweetie,” she smiles. “Anything for the one my little Jaehyunnie has been so obsessed with lately.”

“Mother,” Jaehyun’s reaction is a warning to her, but to you it just sounds like a boy being embarrassed by his mom.

You giggle, and normally he would think it’s the sweetest sound, if not for the circumstances. “So I’ve heard.”

“Ah, I see,” Cathy grins. “He’s already told you all about how he-“

“Are you quite content, mother?” Jaehyun interrupts, eyes flashing his warning towards Cathy who only appears to be amused at his antics.

“Oh, indeed,” she smiles back, though you fail to register the malice hidden behind her lips. “I was only hoping to be joined by Miss (Y/n) here for some morning beverages. I’d love to get to know her better, if she’s alright with that, of course.”

Before Jaehyun can even respond, you’re already speaking, “I’d love that.”

“Excellent!” His mother stands, descending the stairs and coming to stand before you. Having her this close really makes you realize the amount of power and regality she possesses. She extends her hand out for you to take. “If you’d be so kind as to join me.”

“Of course! Thank you,” you take her hand, allowing her to lead you out of the throne room as your arm slips out of Jaehyun’s grasp. With one final glance back, you see Jaehyun already staring after you, an unreadable expression on his face.

Turning back around, you notice Cathy leading you towards the gardens. Once outside, you see a nice table already set up facing the fountain, some of the finest cups and plates already set on top. Letting go of your hand, she motions for you to sit with her, a servant already pouring what looks like a steaming cup of tea for each of you.

“Thank you,” you repeat your words from earlier once you’re seated, graciously accepting the cup that is handed to you.

“I’m so glad you could join me this morning for a little girl talk,” she smiles, tilting her own cup in your direction in a mock ‘cheers’ gesture, of which you mirror.

“It’s nice to be invited,” you reply, taking a sip of your drink.

“I want you to know that you can come to me for anything, dear,” she says, looking you directly in your eyes and you’re momentarily stunned by how sincere she looks. “Absolutely anything.”

“Oh my,” you blink a few times in surprise, “that’s awfully kind of you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good,” her gaze lessens in intensity, allowing for your shoulders to relax slightly, not that you had even been aware of tensing them. “I know how my son can be, so your safety and happiness is my number one priority.”

“Thank you,” is all you can say, and you’re starting to feel like a broken record, but you truly are grateful for her words. Though, you don’t quite know exactly what she means by her most recent ones. Jaehyun, to you, seems like a really nice, caring guy, so the knowing look she sends you when she says that only serves to confuse you. Besides, she seems a lot nicer than what Jaehyun had made her out to be, of which you find a bit strange. Perhaps she’s just putting up a nice front for your sake at the moment. Either way, you’ll make sure not to do anything that would warrant her to dislike you.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Cathy sips her tea, leaning back in her seat to get comfortable as she watches you.

The rest of the morning is spent with the queen, getting a feel for each other and learning all about the other. She listens intently to everything you have to say and she looks genuinely so intrigued by you. The more time you spend with her, the more you seem to relax around her. She’s nothing like how Jaehyun described, which only makes you believe that that’s his familial side talking. Perhaps they’re not as close as the media makes them out to be.

By the time lunch rolls around, you find yourself eating alongside the Queen in the dining room, Jaehyun nowhere to be seen. Noticing your curious gaze, she mentions that he has some diplomatic council meeting to attend to, but he’ll probably be joining you for dinner that evening. You simply nod in response, continuing on with your conversation with the Queen.

Another hour passes with you spending time with Cathy, and the both of you enjoy this so much that you plan to make your little girl talk a weekly thing. You end up leaving with a smile on your face, as if a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders as you head back to your room. Honestly, you cannot wait for next week to be able to spend more time with the Queen, as she’s nothing at all like you were expecting. It’ll be nice to have another person that you can consider a friend while you’re staying here.

Making it back to your room, you’re greeted by Maria who seems to have been patiently waiting for your return. She asks you how your day has been so far, and you tell her honestly that you had a lovely morning with the Queen. 

“I’m a little surprised though,” you admit.

“Why’s that?” She asks, brow furrowing in slight concern.

“Jaehyun told me that she was a hard woman to please,”

“Really?” Her voice comes out in mild disbelief. From what she knows of the Queen, she’s a lovely person through and through. The Prince on the other hand… though she would never tell you that. Not that she could without risk of losing her life and everything she holds dear.

“Still, I’m glad we made such a connection today,” you smile. “That’s good, right? Getting his mom to like me is a step in a positive direction.”

“Of course, Miss,” Maria returns your smile, though it seems a bit forced. She has to be extra careful around you now with how she acts and what she says, after all, by now, every servant in the castle has heard of what happened to Greta last night.

“By the way, how’s Greta doing? I haven’t seen her since yesterday,” you wonder aloud, almost missing the way Maria’s shoulders seem to tense at the inquiry.

“Oh, uh, about that,” Maria says, eyes shifting nervously around the room. She’s just grateful she’s facing away from you at the moment. “Greta took a vacation to go visit her family, so she won’t be back for a while.”

“Ah, I see,” you hum. “That’s nice, hopefully she has a lovely time with her family.”

If only you knew what kind of condition she was in when her body was sent back to her family. Maybe then you would have heeded her warnings.

“Yeah,” Maria replies, somewhat breathless. “Hopefully.”

The next few weeks pass by in a blur for you, each day bringing about a new adventure with Jaehyun. So far, he makes you very happy, and you’re beginning to settle into things at the castle. You especially look forward to the weekly girl talk dates with Cathy, of which she’s asked you to start calling her ‘mom’. Each time she does, you smile shyly and your heart warms, though when you told Jaehyun, he seemed quite shocked.

You’ve also discovered that some of the servants are humans and others are vampires, which was a bit of a surprise to you since you thought all of the servants were humans. At least most of the one’s you’ve encountered so far are. They’ve all been super nice to you, except for the odd one that either looks at you with pity or worry in their eyes. A few even go so far as to attempt to warn you against something, but Jaehyun always appears before they can finish whatever it is that they have to tell you. Whenever this happens, you can never understand the fear that seems to take hold of their body, eyes pleadingly looking towards Jaehyun. Oddly enough, you usually never encounter them again, only hearing brief mention of their names from passing servants.

Of course Jaehyun won’t tell you the amount of teeth he’s pulled, eyes he’s gouged out, or even tongues he’s cut off because of this. No, never. He always has to be the perfect prince in your eyes, keeping you blind to everything that might scare you away from him.

What really sets him off one day is when the two of you had just come back from riding your horses through the grounds. The stable hand, Shotaro, had given you a hand helping you off of your horse. Instead of Jaehyun being the one to help you, he was forced to watch as another male held your hand delicately and smiled at you softly.

Having had a few previous interactions with the vampiric stable hand, you thought nothing of this. A simple friendly gesture to you was near treason in Jaehyun’s eyes. Only he should be able to touch you like that. How else is he supposed to charm you and show you how much of a gentleman he can be towards you? How he can provide for you, even in the most basic of ways?

Luckily, Maria was waiting to lead you back to the castle in order for your weekly girl talk with the Queen. Using this opportunity as you’re walking away, Jaehyun rounds on Shotaro, already seeing the vampire visibly stiffen at the deathly gaze that is sent his way. In the blink of an eye, Jaehyun is in front of him, grasping the same hand Shotaro used to help you down from the horse.

“Scream, and I will end you,” Jaehyun seethes, not giving a second thought as he crushes Shotaro’s hand in his grip, hearing the bones snapping beneath the pressure. The tears he sees threatening to fall from this pest’s eyes only serve to widen the sadistic smile on Jaehyun’s face. “If you ever touch what’s mine again, your hand won’t be the only part of you I shatter. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes, my Prince,” Shotaro stutters out, fear pouring off of him from every angle.

“Now, you better go get that hand of yours fixed up,” Jaehyun tilts his head slightly, a malicious gleam in his eyes. “We wouldn’t want any bones to set and start healing in the wrong place, now would we?”

“N-no, my Prince,” he shakes his head, clutching his broken hand to his chest as soon as Jaehyun releases his grip.

“Good,” Jaehyun hums, a dark expression taking over his features. “Now, get out of my sight.”

Immediately, Shotaro flees the scene, fearing the Prince might inflict more of his wrath upon him. How you haven’t noticed Jaehyun’s eccentric behaviour yet is a mystery. Then again, he purposely keeps you blind to everything bad about his personality, only willing to show you the good parts. Those good parts which are only reserved for you.

Meanwhile, you have just been softly conversing with Maria as she walks with you back up to the castle from the stables. It’s then that you realize that you’ve been walking alone with her for the past two minutes, causing your brow to furrow slightly.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” You verbalize your thoughts, and just as you’re about to turn around to look for him, you feel his comforting hand on the small of your back.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, I had to check up on something back at the stables,” his smile is dazzling and you can’t help but nod your head in understanding as you smile back at him.

Naturally, your arm slides around his, the two of you walking comfortably back into the castle with Maria at your heels. Soon enough, the two of you enter the throne room, a large smile breaking out onto your features as you greet the Queen. A smile which Jaehyun wants only for himself.

“Are you finally going to join us today, Jaehyunnie?” Cathy asks, standing from her seat and making her way towards the two of you.

“Oh, I’d love that,” you look towards him with a hopeful expression, eyes wide.

“Not today, unfortunately,” the look you’re giving him almost makes him change his mind immediately, the pout causing him to gently cup your cheek in his hand, running his thumb over your skin. “Maybe next time.”

“Alright,” you sigh, slightly disappointed. You love spending time with him, almost as much as he does with you. “You promise?”

“I promise,” he smiles, placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead as he reluctantly steps aways from you, only to see his mother observing him carefully. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Okay,” you respond, eyes following his figure as he turns and walks out of the room, gaze lingering ever so slightly on the doors even after they’ve closed behind him.

“Ready to go, dear?” Cathy’s voice manages to pull you out of your daze, you nodding in the next moment and following her out into the gardens for your weekly girl talk session.

The afternoon passes with the two of you conversing about how you’re liking staying at the palace so far. You tell her honestly that you’re having a wonderful time, and that everyone seems so nice, except for the odd few who seem to avoid you like the plague. She seemed to only hum in response at that, though you’re not quite sure why.

“How’s your family? Have you been writing to them like I suggested?” Cathy sips her drink, looking at you expectantly.

“Oh, I completely forgot,” you meant to send them a letter last week after she had suggested it, but you got caught up in the plans Jaehyun had made in the afternoon that you forgot all about it. Besides, he didn’t quite look too enthused when you mentioned writing to them, but that could just be your faulty memory. “I should write them today, I do miss them greatly.”

“Would you like to visit them?”

“I’d love to,” you smile softly, not believing it to be possible. “But-“

“Excellent! I’ll make arrangements for you to visit them tomorrow,” Cathy interjects, a chipper expression on her face.

“I don’t know how to thank you enough,” at this point you know not to question her decisions.

“Nonsense,” she places her hand gently on top of yours which has been resting on the table between the two of you. “It’s the least I can do. After all, with how much you talk about your family, I can tell they’re important to you.”

“They are,” you confirm, looking over to meet her fond gaze.

“You have a kind heart, (Y/n),” she hums, shifting her gaze to look out over the garden. “Guard it well.”

You can only smile in return, thoughts running wild as to you finally being able to go visit your mother and your sister since you first arrived at the palace two months ago. Finally, you’ll be able to catch up with them and tell them all about what’s been going on in your life. Maybe if you’re lucky, you can introduce Jaehyun to them as well.

That evening, after Jaehyun has bid you a goodnight, he storms into his mother’s chambers. Throwing the doors open, a loud bang reverberates throughout the room, a few passing servants looking on in fear. Sending a dangerous look their way, Jaehyun manages to scare them off before rounding on his mother.

“You promised to let her see her family tomorrow?” He seethes, voice booming as there’s no fear you may overhear. After all, your room is all the way on the opposite side of the castle.

“Oh, Jaehyunnie, what a pleasant surprise for you to drop by to finally come visit your dear mother,” she feigns interest, sparing him a side glance before going back to her nightly routine.

“Spare the small talk, mother,” he spits, brows furrowed in anger. “Why would you do something like this?”

“Are you that obsessed with isolating the poor girl?” Cathy hums, tilting her head questioningly at her son. “She needs to socialize with other people, she can’t just stay around you the whole time.”

“I’m the only one she needs,” his voice is low, a growl threatening to rise up his throat. “The only one she’ll ever need.”

“You do not own her,”

“I know,” he snaps. “I’ve worked too damn hard to let her go now.”

“You have a lot to realize before you should even think about calling her yours,” Cathy states, hearing her son let out the growl that he had been holding back this whole time. She only looks amused by his reaction. “You cannot control her.”

“Everything’s gone according to plan thus far,” he retorts, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Besides a few minor set backs which have been disposed of.”

“Ah, yes,” she muses. “I’d appreciate if you stopped mutilating my servants, let alone killing them.”

“It’s no less than they deserve,” he counters.

“And what does your beloved think about that side of you?”

A brief moment of silence settles around the room, speaking volumes in Cathy’s eyes, until he breaks it.

“She doesn’t know,” Jaehyun watches his mother move around her room carefully, eyes narrowed in distaste. “She never will."

“My child, there will come a day when her eyes are opened to see your true colours,” Cathy warns, pausing in her step to turn and look down upon Jaehyun with her nose upturned. 

“Is that a threat, mother?” His eyes hold a crazed look in them at the mere idea of you finding out the truth. Hell, even the thought of you being taken away from him sets his instincts into overdrive, causing his eyes to bleed red and another growl to escape his throat.

“It’s not a threat if I only speak the truth,” she replies calmly, only causing his anger to flare more than it already has. “Do not expect her to return with you after visiting her family tomorrow. I have been keeping in touch with them regarding this entire situation and they know the lengths you are willing to go to ensnare her. The lengths you have already gone. I don’t know what you told Minho to tell her mother that first day that has her so terrified of the consequences, but her sister, Lori, was it? She seems to have a level head on her shoulders.”

Jaehyun’s blood boils, eyes filling with fury as they remain red, “you’ve been doing what?”

“Warning them about you and devising a plan to free the lovely Miss (Y/n) from your clutches,” her brow quirks as she watches her son fume before her very eyes. 

“I’ll kill them if they so much as even try,” he hisses, chest heaving with every breath as he is thrown into this situation. He’s come this far, there’s no way he’s letting you go now.

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Cathy’s voice is steady, firm in her command of the room. “Enough blood has already been spilt on your account.”

“Clearly, there hasn’t been enough,” Jaehyun growls, eye flashing once more at his mother.

Rising to her full height, the Queen does not take the underlying threat from her son lightly, “you dare threaten me? Let’s not forget who brought you into this world and who taught you all that you know. Be careful, boy, lest your ambitious lust go to your head.”

“I don’t care who you may be to me, mother,” he seethes, straightening his back and matching her ferocity with his own, “but if you so much as even attempt to take what’s mine away from me, I’ll kill you.”

Without another word between them, Jaehyun is storming out of his mother’s room, leaving her standing with a shocked expression on her face. Never, in all of her long years of putting up with his antics has she ever seen him look this serious, this deadly about something in her life. Her worry only grows for you as she thinks of what he may have in store for you in the future. Going forward, she’ll have to be extra cautious, preparing herself for whatever her son has planned to come.

The next morning, you wake up bright and early, excited to finally go visit your family again after being away from them for so long. You hardly got any sleep at all last night, considering how excited you are. Being able to catch them up to everything going on in your life will be like a dream come true, and besides, you never did get your clothes from your mom that she promised to send to the palace, and you really miss your favourite sweater.

“You’re awfully happy this morning,” Maria comments as she does your hair for the day.

“I am,” you agree. “I haven’t seen my family in months and I can’t wait to introduce them to Jaehyun.”

“That’ll be lovely!” Maria replies, though you catch her grimace in the mirror.

“What is it?” You question, eyes wide with concern.

“Nothing to worry yourself about,” she tells you, shrugging off your inquiries.

“Clearly it’s something,” you counter, to which she sighs.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the Prince will not be joining you right away this morning,” Maria admits, to which your expression drops slightly.

“Oh,”

“But don’t worry! He told me to tell you that he’d be along as soon as he can,” Maria continues, giving your shoulders a quick rub in encouragement. “He just has a few things to tend to first. You know, political duties and such.”

“I understand,” you nod, still visibly disappointed you won’t be arriving at the same time, nor travelling together this morning.

“Come on, dear, let’s get you changed,” she gives your shoulders one final pat before leading you to the closet to finish getting you ready for the day.

After a quick breakfast with the Queen, you’re being ushered into the back of a car to head back home for the day. The whole car ride over feels like an eternity, the scenery not being able to distract you one bit. 

Restless wouldn’t even begin to be able to describe you, your eyes flitting everywhere inside the car, then out the window, only to repeat the same process over and over again. Even your leg hasn’t stopped bouncing in anticipation, fingers toying with the edge of your shirt just to have something to do.

Eventually, after what feels like hours to you, you arrive in a familiar neighbourhood. Once the car is parked, you step out onto a familiar driveway, a smile gracing your features as you breathe in the fresh air. The driver has only been instructed to drop you off since Jaehyun will be by later, accompanied by Minho to take you back to the palace. Once he sees you’re safe, he’s starting the engine once more and pulling out of the driveway. This way you can have some privacy before the Prince arrives. Cathy made sure of that.

Making your way up your front porch, there’s a slight spring to your step, pushing open the front door in the next moment and calling out a cheerful ‘I’m home’! Oh, how good it feels, too.

“(Y/n)?” You hear your mother’s voice sound from the kitchen before her head is peeking out from the doorway, eyes wide with disbelief. “Is that you?”

“Hey, mom,” you greet, kicking off your shoes and running over to embrace her, her arms already spread open in anticipation.

“It’s so good to see you again, sweetie,” she says, hugging you even closer than before, almost as if she’s afraid you’ll disappear in a moment’s notice. “When the queen sent notice last night of you coming to visit this morning, I could hardly believe it.”

“More like you couldn’t believe it,” Lori’s voice sounds from the entranceway behind you, causing a large grin to spread on your face as you turn around to face your younger sister. “Where’s the Prince? I’m surprised you two aren’t joined at the hip.”

You roll you eyes at this, “it’s lovely to see you, too, Lori. I’ve missed you so much.”

She merely sticks her tongue out at you in response, coming over to squish you in a hug in the next second. “Yeah, yeah, I missed you, too.”

Despite her grumbling, you can tell she means what she says, if the tightness of her hug is anything to go by. You can tell she’s also missed teasing you, just as you’ve missed teasing her.

“If you must know,” you say, pulling away from Lori after a long hug. “Jaehyun will be coming by later, he’s just got a few things to attend to first. He sends his regards, though, for the time being.”

“Wow, first name basis with the Prince,” Lori whistles lowly. “That’s a shocker considering I’ve heard that he doesn’t let just anyone call him that.”

“Lori,” your mother shoots a warning look at your sister.

“What? It’s the truth,” she shrugs, only causing you to chuckle.

“Well, we are pretty close,”

“I’ll say,” Lori hums. “Speaking of, has he ever told you why he chose you, or how he even found out about you in the first place?”

“Lori, my word,” your mother shoots her another look, as if to tell her to quit while she’s ahead.

“Mom, it’s okay,” you chuckle, voice nothing but reassuring. “I always knew my little sister was concerned for me, no matter how badly she tries to hide it. As a matter of fact, yes. I have asked him before.”

“And?” She motions with her hand for you to continue.

“He told me that one day while he was out he saw me and overheard the conversation I was having with Jaemin - remember how we always banter back and forth?” Seeing her nod, you continue, “anyways, he apparently appreciated my wit and humour and decided to learn more about me. Well, here we are.”

The smile you send your mother and sister only serves to unnerve them slightly. They’ve been told not to tell you that Jaemin has gone missing since you’ve left for the palace.

“You believe him?” Lori gives you a ‘really’ look, brow quirked in disbelief.

“I have no reason not to,” you shrug.

By now, the two of you have sat down at the kitchen table, your mother busy with preparing lunch for all of you.

“You know how crazy that sounds, though, right?” She goes on to say. “After eavesdropping on your conversation he suddenly wants you to move to the palace so he can make you his wife? That’s very strange.”

“I mean, I was a little weirded out at first, but after he explained himself I felt better,” you say, leaning back slightly in your chair in order to relax. “I trust him.”

At your words, Lori only seems even more suspicious, your mother distracting you long enough for her to hide her concern.

“That’s nice, dear,” she smiles at you. “You must really like him, then.”

You hum in agreement, “I really do.”

“So,” your mother begins, sitting down to join you two at the table as the food heats up on the stove, “tell us everything.”

It takes you about an hour and a half to explain everything that’s happened to you since your arrival at the castle all those weeks ago. The whole while, your mother and sister listen patiently to what you have to say, chiming in here and there with little comments of their own. Your mother seems happy for you, but you can tell your sister isn’t all that convinced. Her comment about the Prince not being everything he seems to be certainly is enough to rub you the wrong way, putting a slight damper on your mood the longer you spend at home.

“All I’m just saying is that he seems too nice, from what you’re telling me,” her eyes hold the same suspicion you can hear clearly in her voice.

“He’s given me no reason to suspect otherwise,” you counter, a slight furrow to your brows.

“Yet he’s never once suggested visiting us, and when you do, he’s nowhere to be found,” Lori quirks a brow at you.

“It’s not his fault he has duties to attend to,” you defend him, upset that your sister doesn’t seem nearly as happy for you as you thought she’d be.

“Does he always have ‘duties’ to attend to when there’s something you want to do?” A knowing look is sent your way, as if she already knows how you’re going to answer. “If you’re always alone there, then why don’t you just come home? It sounds to me like you’d be better off that way, anyways.”

“No!” You immediately counter, crossing your arms in front of your chest, hurt that your own sister would even suggest something like this. “That’s not the case. He’s been nothing but caring and respectful towards me since I got there. I don’t expect him to wait on me hand and foot all the goddamn time. It’s nice having some space every once in a while, too.” You can tell you’ve momentarily stunned her with your answer as she looks at you, dumbfounded. Taking this opportunity, you continue, “if all you’re going to do is shit on my happiness, then I won’t bother to come home at all. I care about him and I know he cares about me, and all you’re doing is making your jealousy clear. I don’t want to move back home, I want to stay with him. I-“ you swallow, gathering your courage to utter your next words, “I’m in love with him.”

A soft gasp leaves your mother’s lips, “sweetie.”

“What?” You turn your attention to look at her, noticing how she’s already staring at you with an unreadable expression on her face, your sister sitting frozen in her spot at your admission.

“You love him,” comes your sister’s voice. Not a question, but a mere statement of facts, of which causes you to gape slightly before closing your mouth and steadying yourself. You let out a breath that you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

“I do,” you confirm, staring both women down as they stare back at you. Your mother with a dumbfounded expression, your sister with a stern gaze that feels as if it’s boring into your soul.

A moment of silence passes over the three of you as they let your confession sink in, only interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” your mother sighs, heading towards the front door to see who it could be.

“He has you wrapped around his finger, doesn’t he?” Lori sighs, causing whatever last thread of patience you had to snap at her remark.

Your snappy retort dies in your throat as soon as you hear a familiar masculine voice coming from the front door, Jaehyun politely introducing himself to your mother after being invited inside.

“Speak of the devil, and he shall appear,” Lori mutters, shaking her head.

In an instant, you’re standing, the scraping of your chair against the floor enough to cause Lori to look up at you in surprise at the sudden action. You say nothing as you head out of the kitchen and towards the front door, Lori following shortly afterwards with a frown prominent on her face.

To everyone’s surprise, you start to slip on your shoes. Out of the corner of your eyes, you see Minho shoot you a worried look while your mother and sister share a glance. However, none look as concerned as Jaehyun does right now.

“Is everything alright?” He asks lowly, hand finding purchase on your lower back as you right yourself after fixing your one shoe.

“Fine,” you respond shortly, to the surprise of everyone in the room. “Thanks for lunch, mom. It was really nice seeing you again.”

You move over to give her a brief hug. It takes her a moment to return it, unsure of what exactly has transpired in the past minute to have you rushing out of the door so soon. You seemed so excited for them to meet the Prince earlier, so this only serves to increase her worry.

“Of course, dear,” she answers. “Is everything okay?”

You pull away, giving her a tight smile, “just a bad headache, is all.”

“Are you sure you don’t just want to lie down for a bit? You just got here,” she frowns, worry evident on her features along with a hint of what looks like sadness.

“I’m sure,” you reply, sending her a weak smile in return. 

One thing you’ve always been horrible at is hiding your emotions. Anyone can read them clear as day on your face, especially right now. That’s one thing Jaehyun has learned about you during your stay at the palace, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t find out what happened. For now, he’ll simply go along with your wishes, playing the part of the concerned lover. Good thing, too, otherwise if a moment longer had passed, he probably would have torn Lori’s head from her shoulders for causing you such distress.

Even though he’s only just entered the house, he’s been outside far longer than any of you have suspected. Of course he overheard what the three of you had been talking about, and your family’s attitudes certainly rubbed him the wrong way. He knows his own mother definitely has something to do with the way Lori is acting. Thank fuck she won’t be a problem any more.

The only good thing his mind has latched onto at the moment is your loving confession. He has to remind himself to stay in control of his emotions for the time being, lest he want his plans to be ruined. After all, things are going far better than he could have ever hoped on this end.

“Okay, sweetie, if you’re sure,” even though she doesn’t look convinced, she doesn’t push the issue. “Come and visit again soon!”

“We will,” you give her another small smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

Giving one final nod to your mother, you hardly even spare Lori a final glance as you bid her farewell, the both of them waving goodbye to you from the front porch. Once seated in the backseat of the car beside Jaehyun, you let out a sigh.

“Is everything okay, Princess?” His voice holds nothing but concern as he motions for Minho to raise the privacy screen.

You finally meet his gaze, and he curses whoever was the one to cause you pain, “honestly, not really.”

He shifts closer, placing a comforting hand on your knee, “did you want to talk about it?”

A few moments pass by in silence as you attempt to calm yourself down. Taking a deep breath, you meet his gaze once more.

“She called you a devil,” he inhales sharply at your words, feigning shock. “And I know how much you hate that word, let alone being called such a thing. I just couldn’t sit there and listen to any more of Lori’s bullshit slander of you.”

“I see,” he says, lips tugging downwards in a frown. On the inside though, he’s surprised that you even remembered him telling you that offhandedly one of the first times you went horseback riding together. It warms his heart that you would remember a detail like that of himself. Though, this only serves to confirm to him even further that you’re perfect for each other.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize for your family’s behaviour. “I just couldn’t stand how she was talking about you, or the fact that I felt like they were invalidating my feelings.”

“It’s not your fault,” he assures you, shifting so that his hand can now gently stroke your back as you lean forward to rest your elbows on your knees.

“I was looking forward to you meeting them, too,” you pout, disappointment clear in your voice. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s alright, Darling,” he sends you a reassuring smile. “If I’m being completely honest, I’m kind of glad we left early. I don’t think I would have had the heart to be proper company to your loved ones.”

This time, it’s your turn to look at him in concern, “is everything okay?”

“Not really,” he shoots you a weak smile, his facade cracking just as he had planned from the moment you decided to leave your house as soon as he had arrived. “No.”

“What’s wrong?” You cup his cheek tenderly, and he leans into your touch, briefly closing his eyes as he revels in the way your skin feels against his, though you take it as him seeking comfort for whatever it is he’s about to tell you.

“It’s my mother,” he pauses, swallowing a fake lump in his throat. “She’s been murdered.”

“Oh my god,” a gasp escapes your lips, a hand coming up to cover your mouth in shock.

“I was only just informed minutes before I arrived at your house,”

“Oh, Jaehyun,” your eyes hold nothing but sorrow as you embrace him, “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re doing an awful lot of apologizing today for things that aren’t your fault,” he comments, wrapping his arms securely around your waist as he pulls you closer into his chest.

“Still,” you whisper into his neck, “I’m sorry for your loss. Your mother was a wonderful person.”

A hum is all you receive in response, his grip tightening ever so subtly around you as he feels you start to shake slightly. He knew the two of you were close, but he wasn’t expecting you to shed actual tears when you learnt his mother had passed. Perhaps it’s the combination of emotions from your family mixed with this sudden news that has you curled up in his arms, seeking his comfort as much as you are comforting him. Either way, he’ll use this to his advantage, loving the feeling of having you pressed so close to him, clinging onto him like he’s the only one you’ll ever need.

Quietly, he shushes you, telling you that it’ll be alright. You’re quite surprised at how well he’s taking all of this, though you can tell he’s glad for the comfort you provide him during this time. However, what you fail to see is Jaehyun glancing briefly towards the window, eyes flashing as he catches his reflection in the glass. A look of smug content resides on his features as he continues to stroke your back in comforting circles.

You manage to fall asleep about halfway through the car ride back to the castle. Your head is resting on Jaehyun’s lap as he gently strokes his hand over your hair. A smile pulls at his lips when he hears you hum in content, shifting yourself closer to him in response.

Growing up the way he did, getting everything he ever wanted or could ever ask for, and hardly ever receiving punishments for his actions, he’s used to others shouting and crying about how unfair he can be. The amount of people he’s seen beg for their life with tears in their eyes has never made him blink one time. However, seeing you this upset, with tears in your eyes has made him promise himself to never see you cry again. You’re the only person in this universe he cannot stand to see in pain, and he will do anything and everything in his power to make sure that this never happens again. You deserve nothing but happiness, of which he knows only he can give you.

The news of the Queen’s death spreads throughout the nation like wildfire. Many demand answers as to how something like this could have happened, as well as who would do such a thing. Luckily, Jaehyun had prepared for this. A few servants, both human and vampire alike, that had tested his patience for far too long took the fall, information leaking that the murder was an inside job long planned out by said servants.

Jaehyun played his part well, condemning the criminals for their vile acts and taking his precious mother away from him, as well as the precious matriarch away from the citizens. The best part is that you were there the whole time comforting him and making sure he was okay. 

Those were some of the best days for him, being able to stay by your side nearly twenty-four seven, being able to hold you in his arms as you slept beside him. Fuck, he can never get enough of you: your soft skin beneath his fingertips, the way your body feels pressed against his own, the way you stood by him and offered him condolence when he needed it, and especially the way you smell. There were a few times he nearly went feral during the night due to your scent spiking with arousal. He could tell you were having some pretty nice dreams about him, for the one time you moaned his name in your sleep, nearly driving him insane.

He only wishes he had done this sooner, maybe then your sister wouldn’t be even more suspicious towards him. The letters from her only seemed to increase after his mother’s death, but he has no time for them, nor does he even want to entertain them. Maybe then he can finally have you all to himself without worrying about what your stupid brat of a younger sister might do to take you away from him. No matter, he’ll make sure to dispose of her soon, if she doesn’t stay in line.

Approximately two weeks after his mother’s funeral, Jaehyun takes you on a small picnic beneath the willow tree that overlooks the gardens. The place is secluded enough that you know you won’t be disturbed. After all, after the commotion of the past few weeks, it’s nice to just get away for a while, especially with just the two of you.

Currently, his head is resting in your lap, the two of you finally able to relax and enjoy each other’s company without interruptions. Glancing down, Jaehyun catches your gaze.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today yet?” He smiles softly up at you as he watches the evening sun kiss your skin.

“Hmm,” you pretend to ponder his question, gazing out over the gardens as you teasingly tap your chin. “I don’t think you have.”

“It’s a shame, then,” he clicks his tongue, shaking his head slightly. “All the stars in both heaven and on earth could never compare to your beauty.”

The way he looks at you, like you’re his entire world, sets your heart racing in your chest. You bite your lip, looking away bashfully.

Sitting up, he lets out a small chuckle at your reaction. How can you be so cute?

“Don’t hide that pretty face from me, Darling,” cupping your chin gently in his hand, he turns your head to face him, noticing how you avert your gaze slightly in embarrassment. Pride swells in his chest as he knows only he can get a reaction like this out of you. Only he can make you feel this way. “From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one for me.”

“Jae,” the whisper of his name from your lips sends a shiver down his spine.

“Getting to know you over these past few months has only confirmed my first thought I had of you,” he tells you, stroking his thumb slowly over your bottom lip as you watch him carefully.

“Oh?” Your gaze becomes hooded as you watch him, his own eyes focussed on the way his thumb is caressing your lip. “What might that be?”

“You’re perfect,” his voice is low, seductive, as he moves his hand to the back of your neck, thumb now stroking the nape.

“You must not have met many good people, then,” you lightly joke, the corner of your lip twitching upwards as your eyes flick to his lips, noticing how the space between the two of you grows ever smaller by the second.

“No,” he replies softly, “I haven’t.”

Your hand comes up to cup the side of his face, thumb rubbing his cheek tenderly as the two of you continue to stare into each other’s eyes. A moment of silence passes between the two of you before Jaehyun is breaking it.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I thought you’d never ask,”

You barely have time to finish your words when his lips are on yours, the hand he has placed on the back of your neck pulling you in closer. His touch is soft, lips delicate over your own, as if you’re the finest piece of glass that needs to be handled with the utmost care. Your eyes flutter shut.

This tender moment is enough to steal your breath away, something that Jaehyun never fails to do when you’re alone with him. How you got him of all people to fall for you is still a wonder, of which everyday you’re thankful for. Ever since he’s come into your life, you’ve never been happier. Each day with him is another where he makes you feel special. He cherishes you, just as you have come to cherish him, but more than all of that, he makes you feel loved.

Pulling away, he rests his forehead on yours, the hand on the back of your neck holding you in place as your eyes open to see him already gazing at you fondly.

“Like I said,” he breathes. “Perfect.”

“I could say the same about you,” you hum, pecking his lips once more and causing him to smile.

He hums back, content with how this evening is going so far, and with one final lingering kiss to your lips, he pulls away from you, albeit a bit reluctantly. If he’s honest with himself, he’s a bit nervous. The question he’s been meaning to ask you this entire evening sits at the tip of his tongue, unwilling to actually be formed into the proper words.

“I love you,” this is not the first time he’s told you this, but it still sets your heart aflutter. Maybe this time will be the time you say it back.

“I know,” you hum, lips tugging upwards as your eyes reflect the same love and want shining in his own.

“Even though we haven’t know each other all that long, no one makes me feel the way that you do,” he begins, again, somewhat nervously. You take his one hand into yours, letting him know he can take all the time he needs to in order to form the words he wants to say to you. “You mean the world to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I know it sounds ridiculous, but my life changed the day you stepped through those palace doors, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. You’ve changed my life for the better; you make me want to be a better man.”

“Jaehyun,” his name is but a whisper on your lips as he pulls out a ring from his pocket.

“Will you do me the honour of becoming mine?” He asks, gaze locking on yours as your hands come up to cover your mouth in shock. 

All you can do at the moment is nod your head, a large smile breaking out onto your face before it morphs into a slight smirk as he slides the ring on your finger. “Does this mean I get to call you mine?”

“You can call me whatever you’d like,” he grins, eyes hooded as he pulls you onto his lap to admire the ring now glinting on your finger. “My perfect bride.”

Your giggle is like music to his ears as he pulls you in for another kiss. This one is more heated, full of passion and longing with an undertone of a promise of what is still yet to come. 

Jaehyun could not be happier than he is in this moment with you. Everything has gone according to plan, and soon, he’ll get to call you his wife. Not that you would have had a choice in the matter, even if you had denied him. Now, you’re his, indefinitely, and nothing can change that. Now, he’s never letting you go.

As the sun begins to set in the distance, it’s your turn to rest your head on his thigh. He’s currently feeding you some red grapes, of which he’s been told are your favourite.

“What else we got?” You ask after a having a few more grapes.

“Hmm, let’s see,” he digs through the basket, pulling out and listing the different food options. “Why, do you not like the grapes?”

“I do, don’t get me wrong,” you smile reassuringly at him. “I’m just not the biggest fan of red grapes.”

“I thought they were your favourite,” Jaehyun replies, a small frown pulling at his features. Who was it again that told him that red grapes were your favourite? Ah, that’s right, Ben. If he had known they weren’t your favourite he would have never even dreamed of having them packed for you.

“Nah,” you scrunch your nose slightly while shaking your head. Jaehyun would think it’s cute were not for the situation he finds himself in. “Green grapes are where it’s at.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiles, though you don’t registered how it looks slightly forced.

Shooting him a smile back, the two of you turn your attention back to the sunset before you, making small comments here and there about the way the light reflects off of the surrounding areas. You feel completely at peace. Jaehyun on the other hand, is suffering from inner turmoil at this mistake. Something that is so small could have meant a world of difference to you, and the last thing he wants is to screw things up this far into your relationship. How is he supposed to be the perfect lover if he can’t even get your favourite foods correct?

The moment he bids you a goodnight and your door shuts behind him that evening, he’s speeding to the kitchen. The staff, whom had been finishing up for the day are startled by his sudden appearance. Immediately, they bow in respect, a few of the cook’s nerves spiking in fear that what they had prepared this evening did not please him.

“Where’s Ben?” His voice booms throughout the room, eyes deadly as they scan the area for the aforementioned man. 

“He’s just gone to dispose of the trash, Your Highness,” one of the cooks tells him.

“How fitting,” he muses, already thumbing the coin in his pocket which he had grabbed from the cellar on the way here.

The side door to the kitchen creaks slightly when it opens, a lanky man walking through in the next moment. Sensing the tension in the kitchen, he freezes, the door falling shut behind him. Noticing Jaehyun standing at the opposite end of the counter, he immediately bows.

“Your Highness,” 

“Red grapes, huh, Ben?” At Jaehyun’s words, Ben stiffens, already knowing something must have gone wrong for the Prince to be in the kitchen this late.

The rest of the staff share brief glances towards one another in confusion as they watch the scene before them play out. None are willing enough to move for fear of the Prince’s wrath.

“Do you know what this is?” Though his voice is calm, Jaehyun is far from it, only able to maintain his composure due to the fear radiating off of everyone in this room. He loves knowing the power he holds over each one of their insignificant little lives.

Ben eyes the coin now poised in Jaehyun’s hand warily, the metal glinting ever so slightly in the light of the kitchen.

“A coin, Your Highness,” Ben answers as Jaehyun looks at him expectantly, obviously wanting more than just that as his answer. “The ones which you use to pay us.”

“Very good,” he feigns amusement, eyes narrowing harshly in the next moment. “Now tell me, what’s the point in paying you when you provide me with the wrong information?”

Ben looks stunned momentarily, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.

“Red grapes, Ben,” Jaehyun tuts. “Red. Grapes.”

It seems as if something clicks in his mind, “oh, yes, (Y/n)’s fav-“

“You dare speak her name in my presence?” Jaehyun’s voice booms, a few of the younger staff now visibly shaking in fear at his outburst. “Do not taint my love’s name with your tongue.”

“My apologies-“

“Silence, you scum,” he hisses between clenched teeth. Jaehyun’s anger currently knows no bounds, only serving to worsen the longer he has to deal with this situation. Taking a breath, he seems to visibly calm down slightly before speaking once more. “Did you know, Ben, that she prefers green grapes over red ones?”

It is then that Ben realizes his mistake. The information he had gathered proving insufficient and false. He starts to shake, unsure of what is to become of him now.

“I’m sorry, my Prince, it will not happen again,”

“You’re right,” Jaehyun smirks. “It won’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an engagement party to plan,” he turns to leave the kitchen, tossing the coin he’s holding in his hand in the air once before catching it between his fingers. “Oh, and somebody clean this mess up.”

In the blink of an eye, Jaehyun has flung the coin through Ben’s head, a dull thunk being the only sound heard as his now lifeless body falls to the floor. The whole kitchen remains silent, no one daring to even move a single muscle until Jaehyun has turned the corner, nothing but the coin embedded in the wall serving as a reminder of his presence mere moments ago.

The following week passes by in a blur to you, the whole castle bustling from the news of your confirmed engagement to the Prince. Now, there is cause for celebration instead of remaining in the period of mourning that had plagued the nation previously. You only wish his mother was still here to see it all.

You’ve planned to host an engagement party this coming Friday evening, and you can hardly wait. The two of you have been discussing plans for the event, and you don’t think you’ve smiled brighter than you have been these past few days. Jaehyun has been with you every step of the way, sharing in your excitement at the date grows near.

All too soon, the night of the party arrives and you’re dressed in the finest materials you’ve ever worn. Quite a few diplomats and vampires from surrounding kingdoms are coming to wish you a congratulations on your engagement to the Prince, and to say you’re nervous would be an understatement. You just hope you don’t make a fool of yourself in front of so many important people.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, cannot wait to show you off. Finally, he gets to profess his love for you in front of so many others, finally letting everyone know that you’re his and his alone. If anyone so much as dares to take you away from him, he’s prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you and make sure you never leave his side. Nothing, in all of the world, could tear the two of you apart.

Luckily, the evening goes by without a hitch, passing by much quicker than either of you two expect. Though, you have to say, you’re glad. With the way he’s been looking at you all night, the end of the party could not have come sooner.

Making your way back to your room, you think back to the events of the evening. A smile tugs at your lips as you recall the way the two of you danced, the way he held you close in his arms and made you feel loved. You couldn’t ask for a better man to have come to sweep you off of your feet. You only hope that the night doesn’t end here, and from the dark look you still see swimming in his eyes, you have a feeling that it’s only just begun.

With the way Jaehyun has been looking at you this entire evening, you swear he wants to eat you whole. His eyes are dark, a smirk on his lips as he backs you into the wall of your room, hands finding purchase on your hips as he leans into your neck, inhaling deeply.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” he breathes, eyes fluttering closed in bliss as he allows your scent to cloud his mind. A growl escapes him, finally allowing himself to indulge his fantasies, revelling in everything you. “All mine.”

You cannot deny the way your heart positively flutters at his words, and from the way his grip tightens, you can tell he is enjoying each and every one of your reactions. After weeks of tensions rising, interrupted moments and longing glances sent each other’s way, you know what you want, and you what you want, is him. Badly. 

“I hope you don’t mind, Princess,” his voice is low, nose ghosting over the skin of your neck until his lips come to rest right beside your ear, “but tonight,” he hisses as you pull him closer, “tonight, I’m going to make you mine.”

Bringing his lips to yours, he steals a kiss, loving the way you hum approvingly in response. He loves all the reactions you’re giving him, he thinks they’re so cute. The way your heart is racing in your chest, excitement rolling off of you in waves, sets his own dead heart racing. He can smell your arousal building, a fact which only makes his chest swell, a growl of approval building from deep within.

He could get lost in you. The feeling of your lips on his, your scent, your touch. Everything about you drives him wild, and tonight, he finally gets to show you exactly what you mean to him. He’ll treat you like the royalty you are; whom you are meant to be.

Breaking the kiss, he leans back slightly to rest his forehead on yours, staring deeply into your eyes. You can see the love he has for you shining in them, along with the lust and desire swirling within his irises.

“I’m addicted to you,” voice nothing but a whisper, he cups your cheeks in his hands, “I can never get enough.”

“Then don’t,” your soft reply has his eyes widening slightly. “Because I don’t think I could ever love another as much as I love you.”

He swears his dead heart has once again stopped beating in his chest as he lets your words sink in. You love him. You finally told him that you love him.

A smile breaks out onto his face as he claims your lips with his own. You love him, and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Everything he could have ever asked for has just been granted to him. You’ve fulfilled his every wish, and tonight, he’s going to finally make you his, in every meaning of the word. Tonight, you’re his Queen, and his alone.

“Fuck, you don’t know how happy you’ve just made me, hearing you say that,” he says against your lips, needing to feel every inch of your skin beneath him soon, or he might just go crazy. Your giggle is music to his ears as he litters your face with kisses, “I love you.” He hums contently. “My Queen.”

Your breath hitches as you hear him call you that for the first time. You cannot deny the way your stomach clenches at hearing him call you that, and from the slight upturn of his lips, you know he heard your reaction loud and clear.

Feeling a surge of confidence wash over you, you look into his eyes once more, smirk dancing across your own lips. 

“Then fulfill your promise and make me yours,” you purr. “My King.”

A shiver runs down his spine at your words, and he cannot help the snarl that escapes him, “with pleasure.”

In the blink of an eye, he has you pinned on the bed, hovering over top of you as he trails his lips over the skin of your neck. Pinning your hands at the side of your head by your wrists, he takes this opportunity to start sucking marks into your skin, biting down occasionally. Although he doesn’t let his fangs out yet, he makes sure to leave his marks. He wants everyone in the kingdom to know that you’re his, that he’s finally claimed you for all to see.

The sound of tearing fabric registers in your mind, and you glance down to see that Jaehyun has torn both your dress and his shirt from this evening from your bodies, eyes drinking in every curve of your figure beneath him. His hands come up to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples as they harden from his touch.

“Beautiful,” he hums.

Giving your chest a slight squeeze, he emphasizes his approval, only serving to make you become bashful. In the next moment, you attempt to cover yourself with your arms, but he’s quicker. Grabbing your wrists, he pins them beside your head once more.

“Ah-ah,” he tuts, a gleam to his eyes, “don’t you dare hide from me.”

Before you can say anything in response, his lips are on yours as he successfully steals your breath away for the nth time that night. Ever so slowly, he parts from you, trailing kisses down your neck and to your chest, where his hands have returned to cupping your breasts gently. 

A shiver runs down your spine once you feel him take one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking lightly as his tongue flicks over the pert bud. His opposite hand works at the other, making sure neither goes untouched. Your satisfied hum is all he needs to hear to know you’re enjoying yourself so far. Smirking against your skin, he trails kisses from one breast to the other as he takes his time to make sure each gets the attention you deserve. By the time he’s done with you, you’ll be screaming his name in ecstasy all night long.

A hand in his hair catches his attention as you guide his head back up to yours, lips meeting in a heated kiss. He can never get enough of you: your taste, your touch, your everything, and he’ll take everything you’re willing to give him, and then some.

Slowly, he grinds himself into you, your legs parting naturally for him to fit between them. The gasp you let out when you feel his hard cock rubbing against your core is music to his ears.

“Feel that, baby?” He hums, nuzzling his nose against your neck and scenting you once more. “That’s all because of you. You have no idea what you do to me.”

The breathless whisper of his name you let out sends a shiver of pleasure down his spine. His one hand grips your thigh, pulling you against him as your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him in to kiss you again as he continues to grind himself into you.

Breaking away, he nips at the skin of your neck, trailing kisses down your body. The whole time, he mumbles against your skin about how he just needs to taste you, your panties being ripped off of your body not even a second later.

The full force of the scent of your arousal hits him as he settles between your legs, a pleased growl echoing from within his chest. He can already tell his eyes have bled red, your slight gasp confirming it when you meet his gaze.

Trailing kisses up your thighs, he notices how your chest rises and falls with each breath in anticipation. A smirk dances at his lips as he sees you close your eyes momentarily the closer to your entrance his mouth gets. 

Testing the waters, he licks a tentative strip up your core, watching your every reaction and drinking it in. Fuck, if you aren’t the best thing he’s ever tasted in his life, and he’s sure to let you know.

At his words, you cover your face in slight embarrassment, feeling every breath he makes hit your core and send little jolts throughout your entire body. From the chuckle you hear him let out, he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“No, no, no, none of that,” he reaches up and pulls your arm down so you’re no longer covering your face. You meet his gaze once more, and your heart nearly stops at the carnal hunger you can see shining within them. “I want you to watch me as I devour you.”

A moan slips passed your lips as you watch him bring a hand up to spread your lower lips, tongue slowly dragging through your folds all the while he stares deeply into your eyes. Every sound you make, every reaction, is his tonight, and his alone.

Wrapping his lips around your clit, he sucks a few times before flicking the sensitive nub with the tip of his tongue. He alternates between this and bringing his tongue down to circle your entrance before thrusting it in to collect your juices, massaging your inner walls at the same time. Like hell he’s going to let anything go to waste, not after he’s waited this long to finally have you all to himself.

Your hips start to move in time with his tongue, and he lets out a snarl as your hand comes to tangle in his hair, only serving to pull him closer into you. His tongue continues to work you up in every way he knows how, wanting you to know that only he can please you like this. Only he can make you feel this good.

His eyes never leave yours the whole time, even when he starts to pick up the pace. Every twitch of your inner walls lets him know he’s doing something right, taking the opportunity to slide a finger in using his free hand. Now, he focusses his tongue on your clit, licking and sucking as his finger massages your inner walls. The way you’re clenching around him only makes him that much more eager to finally be inside you after all this time.

By now, multiple curses and moans of his name have slipped past your lips, whines only serving to becoming louder as he adds a second finger. Each movement he makes is precise, and you can feel the pressure building with each moment that passes by. With each flick of his tongue, you swear it will be the push you need to fall over the edge, but he purposely slows his movements, wanting to keep you on the brink for as long as possible and prolong your pleasure. By the time he adds a third finger, you feel as if you’re just about ready to fall apart.

“That’s it, darling,” he coaxes, moving his fingers along your inner walls in time with each flick of his tongue, the pressure within you about to snap. “Let yourself go.”

His words are all you need to hear in order to feel yourself falling over the edge, your orgasm crashing into you as a scream of his name tears from your throat. A smirk on his lips is the first thing you see once your vision clears, chest heaving with each breath you take as he laps up every last drop of your essence with his tongue.

“Such a good girl for me,” he hums, removing his fingers in order to crawl up your body and place them at your lips. “Suck.”

Immediately, you part your lips, taking his fingers into your mouth and tasting yourself on them. A moan bubbles in your throat as your tongue swirls around his digits, echoed only by his own groan as he sees the blissful expression on your features.

Taking his fingers out of your mouth, he kisses you once more, pulling your body impossibly closer to his own. He needs to feel every inch of you pressed against him, not wanting to leave any part of your body unexplored this evening.

“Jaehyun,” his name falling from your lips is one of the best sounds he’s ever heard in his life, and he could never tire of it. “Please, I need you.”

Those words are all it takes for him to be ripping off his pants and lining himself up with your entrance. He can’t help but tease you a bit, dipping the head of his cock into your folds to collect your wetness before pulling back out again just to hear you whine. You’re so cute when you’re needy for him.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make you feel so good,” his voice is a low drawl that sounds right beside your ear.

Your arms are already wrapped around his torso, nails digging into the skin of his back as you feel the need to bring him closer. The next thing you hear is him let out a small chuckle, feeling him beginning to stretch you out in the next second as he begins to push into you.

Your mouth falls open in a soundless gasp as you feel him stretching you out. His own breath falters as he feels your walls pulsing around him, the soft warmth of your flesh feeling as if it were made for him. Considering the fact that you two fit perfectly together, he swears that’s the case.

He has to remind himself not to move before you’re okay, every instinct in his body screaming at him to ravish you as soon as he’s seated in you fully. However, he’s in no rush tonight, wanting to take his time in order to make the sweetest love to your body. Something only he can do.

As soon as he sees you nod, he’s resting his forehead against yours as he pulls out slightly and gives a shallow thrust to start. His movements are slow, precise, each movement of his hips a sensual grind to make you feel every inch of him buried within you.

“I fucking love you, you know that?” His voice is rough, strained as he attempts to control himself for the time being. This is your first time together, and he wants to make sure it’s special for the both of you, something neither of you will forget. 

You let out a gasp at a particularly sharp thrust, “I love you.”

This is all he could have ever wanted, and more, as he begins to pick up his pace. His lips meet yours once more in a searing kiss, all of his passion, love, lust, and want for you being conveyed wordlessly through every movement he makes.

When his lips aren’t on yours, they’re sucking marks into the skin of your neck, teeth nipping at the skin shortly after. As he increases his pace, his one hand comes up to grab yours, fingers intertwining as the other grips your waist, holding you to him as close as possible. The way your free hand drags down his back, nails biting into his skin lets him know he’s doing all the right things. Your legs wrapping around his waist only serve to pull him that much closer into you, a pleased rumble escaping his chest.

Shifting slightly, he adjusts the angle he’s hitting you at, hearing your sharp intake of breath as he hits a specific spot inside you.

“Fuck, my King, right there,” your voice is desperate as it comes out, eyes closing in bliss as your head is thrown back.

The snarl that tears from his throat is feral, your words snapping any last bits of sanity he had left in his body as his hips snap into yours. 

“That’s it, Darling,” he growls, eyes bleeding red once more as he takes in the beautiful expressions you’re making for him, “let your King take care of his Queen.”

The hitch in your breath at his own words causes a tightening in his abdomen, and he knows he’s getting close. He has to remind himself that you’re still only human as his grip tightens on your hand and waist, not wanting to hurt you, but needing you to feel just how desperate he is for you. Everything about you drives him insane, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t treat you like the Queen you are.

With each thrust, he can feel your walls twitching around him, signalling that you’re getting closer to your second release of the night. Bringing his one hand down from your waist, he uses his thumb to circle your clit, feeling your whole body shudder beneath him as you near the edge.

“Come on, my Queen,” his chest rumbles in content each time he says those words, voice dangerously low. “Come with me. Come for your King.”

The way his thumb flicks at your clit, combined with his words and the angle he’s hitting inside of you is enough to push you over the edge for the second time that night. Seeing you shake beneath him in ecstasy, combined with the sinful way you’re moaning his name has him following shortly after, a loud cry of your own name escaping his lips.

Lazily thrusting into you a few more times as you both come down from your highs, he makes sure you’re okay before pulling out of you. In the blink of an eye, he’s got a damp washcloth ready in his hand, wiping you down gently while whispering soft praises in your ear, telling you how good you are for him, and how much he loves you. You can only smile softly in return, finally able to catch your breath once he returns from disposing of the washcloth.

Crawling into the bed, he tucks you both under the covers, pulling you close into his chest in the next moment. His hand strokes over your back gently as he places a tender kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispers. “My Queen.”

“And I love you,” you hum. “My King.”

Silence settles over the two of you as you each take comfort in the other’s embrace. Eventually, sleep overtakes you, leaving Jaehyun to watch over your sleeping figure with a smile on his face.

“Always and forever,” he whispers, allowing his eyes to close and his whole body to relax as he succumbs to his own darkness.

Dawn comes and Jaehyun manages to wake before you do, appreciating the way the morning light cascades over your naked form, painting you in golden hues for him to adore. His eyes trail over your back, tracing the curve of your spine as he remembers the events of last night. Licking his lips, he inhales the scents of the morning deeply, positively growling at the way you’re now covered in his scent.

As it should be. As it will always be. From this point onwards, you’re his and he’s yours, and last night serves as a confirmation of that fact. Now, you’ve given yourselves to each other, and all that’s left to do is set the date for the wedding.

A few minutes pass by with Jaehyun simply admiring you. Very lightly he traces his hand over your back, loving the way you shiver underneath his fingertips, for it only makes him recall how you were trembling beneath him in bliss merely hours before. He could stay like this with you forever, but unfortunately, he needs to attend to some final arrangements for the royal announcement of your wedding ceremony.

Letting out a small sigh, disappointed he has to leave you for the time being, he slides out of bed. The glint of the ring on your left hand in the morning light catches his gaze, only causing a small smile to form at his lips. Last night could not have been more perfect.

Moving as silently as he can so as not to disturb you, he exits your room.

It takes him longer than he would have liked to get ready that morning, his movements feeling a bit sluggish the more he has to move around. It’s almost as if his senses have dulled slightly for the time being, for his hearing isn’t as sharp as it usually is, nor his sense of smell. Perhaps these are simply side effects of his mood, for he knows when he’s overcome with emotions he can never think straight, let alone react in an orderly manner.

Making his way through the castle, he finally enters the throne room, having requested to meet Minho there to discuss everything that still needs to be done for the upcoming ceremonies. However, what he isn’t expecting to see is another person standing with their arms crossed in front of their chest beside a very nervous looking Minho.

“What is the meaning of this?” Jaehyun’s voice practically booms across the room, demanding their attention.

“Your Highness, I’ve been attempting to escort Miss Lori out of the castle and back to her home, but she simply will not go until she speaks with her older sister,” Minho explains, words coming out rushed as he looks towards Jaehyun frantically.

“Is there anything I can help you with? Your sister is currently still resting in her chambers,” Jaehyun continues to play the nice card. He’s gotten this far despite not needing anyone’s approval, but that still doesn’t mean he won’t try for you.

“Cut the bullshit, you’re not fooling me,” Lori narrows her eyes at him, only causing Jaehyun to raise his brows amusedly.

“Is there a reason that you’ve come to talk with your sister then?” Jaehyun asks, already bored with this conversation, yet still feigning interest and concern. Again, he’d do anything for you, even if it means something as trivial as this.

“I’ve come to collect my sister and take her back home,” Lori answers. “Away from you.”

Jaehyun’s expression falls, immediately darkening at the threat apparent in her voice, “I don’t think you understand the situation you’re in here.”

“No, I don’t think you understand your situation,” Lori counters, causing Minho to send her a look filled with nothing but distress. “I’ve seen through your little ‘nice guy’ act long ago thanks to your mother, and I’ve finally come to save my sister from whatever you plan to do to her. She’ll listen to me this time, she always has. I’m taking my sister back home with me, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

The confidence in which she says those words irritate Jaehyun to no end. Though, he supposes he finds this situation rather ironic, causing him to let out a few laughs in disbelief. How dare Lori threaten him of all people. Like she could ever do anything to tear the two of you apart now, considering what occurred last night. After all, the two of you are to be bonded for life.

“You came all this way to threaten me? Me, of all people?” He chuckles maliciously, shaking his head in disbelief. “You think I’m just going to let you waltz in here and steal what rightfully belongs to me? That I’d even let you near what’s mine?”

“Your threats don’t scare me, I know you won’t do anything to me,” Lori raises her chin in the air in defiance, a smug look resting on her face. Clearly the letters his mother had sent her are still giving her a false confidence on this matter.

In a flash, he’s in front of her, holding her in the air by her neck. The hold his hand has around her throat is firm enough for it to be a threat, but not hard enough to completely block her airway just yet. “You underestimate the lengths I am willing to go to keep what is mine. I’ve spent too long planning everything out and making sure things run smoothly in order for things to get where they are now. I’m not giving my love up so easily.”

“Then, obviously you wouldn’t harm her own sister!” She manages to choke out, gaze darting off to his right as if something, or someone has caught her eye. His grip only serves to tighten ever so slightly as his eyes flash red.

“Wouldn’t I?” He hums, tilting his head in false sympathy. “I mean, considering I disposed of my own mother who got in the way, what’s a measly little human girl compared to that?”

Minho can do nothing but watch as this event unfolds before his very eyes, taking a few steps back in order to give the Prince space to do what he has to. His own heart is pounding in his chest out of fear, so he can only imagine how Lori feels in this very moment.

“It’d be so easy for me to cover up your death, so don’t flatter yourself,” Jaehyun seethes, eyes crazed as he stares into hers. “I’ve done everything I can to rid myself of nuisances in my way. So, what’s one more?”

Shifting his predatory gaze, he locks eyes with Minho, waiting for the advisor to speak and confirm his words.

“Yes, Your highness, you’re correct,” Minho swallows nervously, he’s never seen Jaehyun like this before. The intense insanity in his eyes nearly has Minho stumbling over his own feet despite standing perfectly still. He knows something must have happened last night after the engagement party, otherwise there’s no way he would be looking like that right now.

“You’re nothing,” he hisses. “A measly little human whose life will end at the flick of my wrist, worth no more that the servants I’ve killed beneath my feet. Poor Greta, only wanted to warn the love of my life about me, and look what that got her,” he feigns a pout, “only her throat ripped out.”

Lori gasps, remembering how you mentioned to her that one of the servants you met on one of your first days here seemed to have suddenly disappeared, never to be seen again.

“Not to mention the countless other lives I’ve taken for even looking at my love the wrong way. Or maybe, perhaps I should say poor Ben, who only got his skull run through for providing the wrong information about my love’s favourite foods,” Jaehyun tuts, shaking his head. “Bastard could have ruined everything. Just as you are trying to do.”

Lori can feel the breath being squeezed out of her lungs as Jaehyun slowly crushes her airway. She attempts to claw at the hands around her neck to no avail, legs kicking out uselessly beneath her. 

“Don’t you ever think for one second I’d let you take away what I’ve worked so hard to achieve,” he spits, venom dripping from every syllable as he crushes her throat, bringing his other hand up and tearing her head off in the next moment in his anger. “Worthless scum.”

Lori’s head hits the floor with a loud thump, her blood pooling around her now discarded body as lifeless eyes stare up at Jaehyun in fear. He shakes his head in disgust, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe off the blood that had managed to get on his hands. 

“Clean this up,” he orders, turning to Minho to see him nod once in understanding.

Closing his eyes, he shakes his head. So much for his pleasant morning. 

Turning around, Jaehyun sighs, eyes still closed. His face is still contorted into an expression of annoyance, brow furrowed as he takes a deep breath. He can feel his whole body tense as he recognizes a familiar faint scent in the air.

Slowly, he opens his eyes, realizing in horror that you stand in the open doorway of the throne room. Your hands are both raised over your mouth, as if to cover a silent scream as tears stream down your face. He can feel his dead heart falter in his chest as he watches you. The fear you look at him with is something he never ever wanted to see from you, especially directed towards himself.

A few moments pass by with the two of you just silently observing the other. Jaehyun hates how it’s only now that he can seemingly hear the loudness of your racing heart, your scent becoming stronger the more time you spend staring at one another. All that he had worked so hard to create, everything he’s done to impress you, to woo you and make you fall in love with him, is now ruined. It’s only all confirmed when he sees you turn and attempt to run away from him.

In an instant, he’s run to you, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly. Your screams and protests are falling on deaf ears as he holds you to his chest. His attempts to quietly shush you and calm you down are not working, with you only seeming to struggle harder against him, spouting insults and curses at him. 

“Sweetheart, please,” he sighs, “I need you to calm down.”

“Calm down?” You’re hysterical at this point. “Calm down? You just murdered my little sister in front of my very eyes and you have the audacity to tell me to calm down?”

“I did it for us,” he replies calmly, voice sounding completely opposite to how he really feels inside at the moment. “She would have only gotten in the way.”

He’s not entirely sure how you managed to sneak up on him, but he assumes that he didn’t hear you due to his dull senses this morning. The fact that you’re covered in his scent is probably why he didn’t smell you right away, too. Either way, he’ll do his best to steer the conversation in a direction which suits him, considering he doesn’t exactly know how long you had been standing there for. However, your next words only serve to confirm just how long you had.

“And I suppose your mother, Greta, Ben, and who knows who else were all collateral, too?” You retort, anger and disgust shining in your eyes which only causes his grip to tighten ever so slightly around you.

“Yes,” he answers, but he isn’t stupid enough to believe you’ll willingly accept his reasonings. “They were. I don’t expect you to understand why I’ve done what I have yet, but if you think I’m ever going to let you go, you’re mistaken. And before you say you hate me, I just want you to think back on everything I’ve ever done for you since you’ve been here. I want you to remember all the moments we’ve shared together, especially the good ones. Especially last night,” a shiver runs down your spine as he whispers those words lowly in your ear before trailing his lips down your neck, pressing them against the same spot he did the previous evening. Your struggling lessens as he continues, “I’d never do anything to harm you, I think my actions towards you have shown that. I never wanted you to be scared of me. Why do you think I never showed you this side of me yet?”

“You really are a devil,” you spit, finally giving up your attempts to escape his hold for you know that it’s futile at this point. You’ve long been trapped in his clutches, you just only wish you’d realized it sooner.

“A devil who loves you,” he hums, nuzzling his face deeper into your neck and breathing in your combined scents. A shiver goes down his spine. At least now he doesn’t have to worry about hiding this side of himself from you any longer. Plus, you now know what he’s capable of; what he’s willing to do for you. What he’s always been willing to do for you. “I always get what I want, so don’t even think about leaving me. You sealed your fate the moment you agreed to become mine.”

“I hate you,”

He simply chuckles, “that’s not what you were saying last night.”

“Yeah, well, things change,” you reply, refusing to so much as look in his direction as he holds you from behind.

“That they do,” he hums once more, clearly amused by your stubbornness. In the next moment, his eyes are going dark, expression deadly serious as he turns you around to stare deeply into your eyes. A shiver goes down your spine. “One thing that hasn’t changed though, is the fact that whether you like it or not, you can never escape me. I love you, and I will always love you, so you better get used to that. After all, a King should never be without his Queen.”

[stxleslyds]

I know that you have said that you hate how Jason Todd is going through some kind of redemption arc / identity crisis in the comics.

Are there any redemption arcs that you have liked? What are the qualities of a good redemption arc?

(I haven't read TFZ #5 yet, this answer wasn't influenced by that issue, these are just general thoughts)

Yeah, I do hate it. I have accepted that the Jason Todd that once existed is gone completely but I still hate every *attempt* at a “redemption” arc that DC has tried. Even in Task Force Z, I can’t help but grit my teeth every time something sounds like a suggestion to Jason needing to “redeem” himself to Gotham or Batman or whoever. Even the “I am doing it for me” bullshit makes me want to scream a little bit.

I just hate the “redemption arc” concept as a whole but when it is used with characters that DON’T need it, I just go berserk.

Now, about your first question, “are there any redemption arcs that you have liked?”, well, I have liked two stories that are treated as redemptions but I just see as either story progressions or giving a character a story of their own.

These characters/stories would be Kevin Levin from Ben 10 (Alien Force/Ultimate Alien) and Eddie Brock from Marvel Comics (Venom by Donny Cates).

Kevin Levin was a “villain” in the classic Ben 10 cartoon, and I say it that way because he was literally 11 years old. Like, he did disturbing stuff but he was still a kid that we didn’t know much off and he ended up in a interdimensional prison, so… yeah. A bit harsh but okay, I guess.

Then when the show was given a “sequel” (of sorts) we find Kevin again doing some shady stuff like selling illegal weapons to some bad guys. This Kevin was now 16 years old and he just seemed to be minding his own business while surviving in Ben 10’s universe (which is quite complicated, like, it is quite fucked up).

Kevin joins the good guys when he is affected by a wrong deal, he tries to make it look like he is all bad and all that but the reality is that he has grown as a person. Aside from giving us some context about his upbringing and him falling in love with Gwen (part of the good guys), we are also given a Kevin that has just grown out of his childish vengeance and need for attention (in the wrong ways). He was just living his life and then an opportunity came that could make his life a little bit better or that could put him in a better light.

So, in a sense I get why it is treated as a redemption arc, he is given a troubled childhood, a problem with his powers that he cannot resolve due to his father (with the same powers) being dead, a love interest and a need to become a hero like his father used to be.

He is given all that, which sets him up for a “traditional” redemption arc, but with Kevin Levin things aren’t as they seem, they don’t go in a straight line.

Kevin is still himself. He falls in love and wants to better himself (or be the person that Gwen sees, which he already is) but he is still a survivor, he still plays dirty and he still has a troubled mind.

He just doesn’t act like everything is over and his life is better because the good guy’s way is great. He still sees some things the same way and some of his attitudes still reflect the person that he once was or that he became after being in prison.

And because of that I don’t call it a “redemption” arc, I call it “story progression”. Kevin grew as a man and through the circumstances he started developing his character, he wanted to “be better” in some situations that needed him to change his behaviour, but there were times where he stood by his mentality and proved that maybe he was right OR that he wasn’t exactly wrong.

Kevin Levin wasn’t given a sob story, he was given context and even with that he was still held accountable (and he did it himself), but his growth as a character led him to do the ultimate sacrifice to save the world even if it meant that he might lose himself while doing it.

He became a hero, yes. But he was still Kevin Levin first, and every move that he made in the right direction came with a price. His good intentions were always met with a horrifying consequence, and he took it (badly) but still made an effort.

He was a cool character but then he became interesting. His story progression didn’t make him “one more” it made him shine because he was still different.

So, I will die on the hill of “Kevin Levin didn’t have a redemption arc, he just became interesting”.

Then there is Eddie Brock’s case. Now, let me make it clear, when I say Eddie Brock, I don’t mean Venom, I mean Eddie, the human that is a host for the alien Venom.

Eddie has always been a character that didn’t catch my attention, Venom was cool and he had some interesting lore but when I picked up Venom by Donny Cates I didn’t expect to fall so badly for Eddie.

Cates gave Eddie Brock meaning (in my opinion), he made him interesting and layered. Eddie had some of his past retconned but it was written so brilliantly that it just made sense. Cates decided to separate Venom and Eddie and instead of focusing on Venom he focused on Eddie, and thanks to that he gave us one of the most moving and amazing comics in the last few years.

As I said, Eddie was given a backstory, and I would say that it isn’t really a sob story (although it did made me cry) but most importantly he was given a motivation, and not an internal one or something relating to his past, he was given a son.

He was given a purpose to make his life better in order to give a child a better life. He worked through his demons and his Venom related problems just to make sure that his son didn’t have to live like him or to be seen in a bad light just because he was Eddie’s son.

Just like with Kevin, I do see the “redemption” aspect of this story but at the same time I really don’t. It just seemed like a fresh start for him or just developing a character that had never been developed outside of his alien counterpart. This time his story related to his future and his son’s livelihood (yeah, there was the Knull stuff too, I know, but still). Eddie made an effort to help the world because his son lived in it.

It wasn’t because he used to be bad or because he owed Spiderman something, he was fighting (when shit hit the fan) so his son could live a happy and long life (it is comics so Dylan, his son, had some powers and stuff that made it difficult). That’s why I wouldn’t call this example a redemption story either even though many people see it as such.

So, those are the two examples of “redemption arcs” that I have liked but I don’t necessarily see them as such. Which leads me to the answer to your second question, “what are the qualities of a good redemption arc?”.

Well, my answer to that question would be that a good quality would be that there should be no redemption, there should only be good characterizations and/or character development. Characters don’t need to do a 180, and when we talk about redemptions it is always about that, about characters changing every aspect of who they are to fit some sort of team or idea or whatever.

That’s why I don’t like redemption arcs, it makes characters look and feel the same as everyone else, and Jason has been victim of it time and time again.

Now with Rosenberg I see it less than before but I can still see that narrative, and to be completely honest, it bothers me to no end.

Jason Todd doesn’t NEED to redeem himself to anyone, not even to himself! He made his own choices and he should own it because they were his choices and he had reasons. Having autonomy is cool DC! Characters having ideas and mentalities different to Batman’s is good and valuable.

Jason Todd as he is now doesn’t need to redeem himself to anyone about the events of Battle of the Cowl or Batman and Robin vol.1, those things aren’t even canon anymore, and if they are then let me remind everyone of how OOC those things were for him.

Jason’s actions in UtRH don’t need to be redeemed and I will fight anyone about it.

So, yeah, I went on a rant there at the end but I just had to. Maybe I will expand on it because I have many thoughts on this subject. You always have some amazing questions friend!

Oh! Also, I will end this post with this hot take.

Jason Todd/Red Hood can’t have a redemption arc because he was never a villain. No matter what people say, Red Hood was never a Batman villain, he was just someone that did things differently.

Red Hood only did villainous things when he was written wrongfully, otherwise, he was a great character (Winick) or a mediocre one (Lobdell).

Bye!

[non-binharry]

Hello :) i've had something on my mind for the longest time and I need to share. I am a fan of both louis and harry (and also a larrie) and I'm pretty vocal about my (solo) support of them, esp. Harry because more people at least know who he is (I live in a rather rural area in bavaria in germany so most people are not super up-to-date on pop culture things). So people from the 'GP' (like my colleagues at work or my extended family) sometimes talk about Harry to me, because they know I'm a fan. Whenever that happens people always assume I am a fan because I have a 'thing' for him. And that bugs me. Because while yes it is an undeniable fact to literally everyone that Harry is a very beautiful person to look at, that is not the reason I like him. I love his aesthetic and all but not in a 'i-want-to-fuck-you'-way but more in a 'i-kinda-want-to-be-you'-way. As a queer and not 100% cis fan I hate that my support gets reduced to that. Because when I wear my harry shirt it makes me feel a lot better in my skin because I feel like he depicts a version of himself that inspires my own (gender) expression. And all the things he does, be it with photo shoots and wearing dresses, his generally very androgynous style, the way he moves on stage, his music and the way he phrased things when he still tweeted stuff, just makes me feel so seen and connected to him because I cannot help but read it as queercoded behaviour and it reminds me of my own (past) behviour when I tried to subtly sprinkle a few cues about my queerness wherever and whenever I felt brave enough to do so. Just following the concept of 'when you know you know'.

I am sad that female-read fandom and admiration towards a mostly male-read artist is still only centered around sexual desire and fuckability. I feel like that doesn't pay anyone a fair tribute - neither harry's queer fanbase nor himself because it reduces everything down to a level where it is hereronormative beyond the need to think for yourself and dig a little deeper.

So here's my statement to the world: I am a fan of Harry styles because he strikes a nerve inside me that I wasn't even aware was there before. I am a fan because I feel like Harry's a queer safe space and I am very sorry for him that he can't be (more) open because he encouraged me to be a lot more open and free with myself and also have more fun and confidence than ever - 'feeling good in my skin'. Very much looking forward to a time where people ask me how Harry makes me feel and how he helped me instead of talking about how hot and sexy he is and that he probably fucks everything that he sees.

sorry it took me so long to respond but i feel you anon, i especially loved:

"Very much looking forward to a time where people ask me how Harry makes me feel and how he helped me instead of ... "

like harry is a fucking queer icon, and unfortunately the impact he has on all of our lives will always be overshadowed and that sucks, but the only thing that really matters is that he knows how much he means to all of us 💗

[googledocsdyke]

Do you have any thoughts/recommended texts for Cas analysis? I genuinely love the dean gender studies and I just wanna know what people might apply to Cas.

yes absolutely!! while dean studies is my first love i also deeply love cas analysis (casnalysis?) and wanna strive to do more of it. here’s some stuff off the top of my head:

1. gender, sexuality, heavenly embodiment

this is much more theological and less psychological than dean’s whole Deal because there’s so much fascinating stuff around how the angels in general experience express and conceptualise gender (@autisticandroids has a good post about angel gender & lily sunder has some regrets) but for cas in particular there’s this fascinating kind of collective fandom agreement (which i DO also agree with) that cas’ own gender kind of is gay man, that he actively chose gay manhood, but also that he’s kind of..... lacking the Insane Genderishness that dean exhibits at all times, even though he actively chose to engage in male gendering and became so comfortable housed Within Jimmy that he, as some post i saw the other day that i can’t find anymore said, “became his own body” when jimmy died. 

like on the one hand there’s an almost-canonical transness to the whole process but it also never feels fully written-into because 1) the supernatural writers for all their insanity are sometimes very boring and *most* of the time only feel interested in narratively expressing angels As Their Vessels anyways and just like leaving convenient spaces around these questions (boldest thing they ever did was hot girl cas which i WISH i had the range to unpack) 2) there’s a vague inevitabilist shrug to the whole thing since they obviously weren’t gonna recast misha collins (though they HAVE tried to get rid of him) and 3) something amorphous about cas’ entire..... personhood? makes him Empty Of Gender as a contrast to dean’s Full Of Gender (i believe it was @deanwinchestergender who said this) and like is it just the juxtaposition to dean/jensen’s whole insane Deal? or something else? 

like he actively chooses the terms of his own embodiment and yet narratively it feels like a shrug. and we’re all like “well obviously even though he’s a celestial being he was always a gay man” and like WHY. i love it idk idk much to think about! and yeah just in general the theological questions of possession and cas genuinely Becoming a man as he iterates himself consciously towards humanity it almost feels like. by doing the most boring things possible with his gender they made it interesting? idk if that makes sense.

2. discipline, free will, metanarratives

cas is like a tool (“i am not a hammer, as you say”) held in constant discipline and surveillance by the system that enmeshes him and it’s really, really fascinating to watch the way the angels hold each other to conformity. especially pre-god they kind of produce each other as foucauldian disciplinary subjects (which i posted about here) in perpetual visibility through angel radio, generating their own and each other’s conformity rather than being directly ruled through like a single centralised source of power. only the spectre of a god. and obviously cas’ whole thing is that he has ALWAYS disobeyed and the narrative affords him this psychological interiority never given to the foucauldian subject, an internal will and desire for freedom in a way that fits more with the liberal subject (super roughly and not with the same pro-capitalist implications but he has this internal drive for self-liberation. 

and that’s also where the metanarrative comes in ofc! i think it was @dykecas who said that cas is a real person written by people who hate him, and there’s this crack in the narrative (mirroring the crack in his chassis) where cas gets in, over and over, despite all the order imposed by the show’s authorfathergod. like we’ve all seen the analysis about how it was Never supposed to be this way they DID try to fire misha collins in 2012 and yet this gay man literally cannot be stopped! i think actually his appearance in scoobynatural is a neat little distillation of this — he drops into this animated world originally with a singular purpose (Save Sam And Dean) the same way he dropped into lazarus rising with a single 3-episode arc (Save Dean). huge hammer behaviour. his “utility” diminishes within the narrative (he finds that he can’t fly in the scooby doo universe) and so he is no longer a tool/means to an end that salvation moves Through. and in the process (and huge creds to @lesbianyuugi for this) he does something ENTIRELY unrelated to his original cas-as-tool aim, and learns, like, the meaning of laughter from shaggy and scooby. WHICH brings me onto the third point

3. love, queer kinship, family-making

HE’S GAY AND HE’S A DAD! i feel like a lot of tumblr throws around the term “found family” in a very flat and tropey way (which is fine it’s cute and fun no matter what!) but like . GOD there’s so much specific stuff going on here. like the way that cas (unintentionally) obliterates the midwestern white christian nuclear family (made incarnate in the novaks) which like could be uniformly portrayed as an act of deep malice and villainy but instead grows to serve as a surrogate (if imperfect/complex, but DEEPLY loving) father figure for the gay daughter who has now escaped that nuclear family/seen it destroyed depending on how you read it? like he remasters the entire concept of fatherhood and it’s a very interesting (if DEEPLY) unintentional subversion of the homewrecking non-nuclear gay trope. cas is so good because his character arc doesn’t say “look, gay people can be normal and have perfect settled families just like you” it says “gay people DON’T have normal settled families actually and they are full of love anyways! or Because of the abnormalcy itself!) 

to cite ziz lesbianyuugi again he DOES queer fatherhood in his parenting of jack particularly because it really is one of the ONLY parent-child relationships in the show that breaks the incessant cycle of abuse and control and cold indifference perpetuated by the authorfathergod (a cycle reified in 15x20 lol). like god’s treatment of cas and his siblings mirrors john’s treatment of sam and dean (particularly dean) mirrors victor’s treatment of krissy and her crew mirrors dean’s later treatment of jack. there is a CONSTANT reiteration of the story of authorfathergod (often a father tightly entwined in biological kinship) treating a child as a mechanism or a tool or a means to an end. and cas looks at ALL that he has suffered and all that he is ever known and chooses constantly to reject it with every piece of love he expresses for his child. and not to sound like the kind of academic people make fun of on twitter but there is an INHERENT queerness to that. gay love will pierce through [the veil of death/the thick silence of abuse/the mechanism of godly control/hegemonic american masculinity] and save the day

anyways here are some very haphazard recs on everything above for further reading:

angels in america (tony kushner)

histrionics of the pulpit: trans tonalities of religious enthusiasm

the public universal friend: religious enthusiasm in revolutionary america

discipline and punish (michel foucault)

friendship as a way of life (michel foucault)

the genesis of blame (recommended by @pietacastiel who has GREAT theology content in general

all about love (bell hooks)

the chapter “when hated characters talk back” in anti-fandom: dislike and hate in the digital age (is actually explicitly about cas)

also cannot recommend enough following the ppl i tagged above!! most of the unlinked stuff is available through http://libgen.li/ and bookshop is a good alternative to amazon if ur american and want physical copies

[cienie-isengardu]

Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.

Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.

"LET US BEGIN!"

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In the spirit of potential future writing,  I'm trying to find a building that  would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.

I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff,  but is all exterior.  Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?

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So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time,  and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I  guess the question is,  do they care?

Do they have a religion,  or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist,  but we just consider them very strong people"?

Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?

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Food.  What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like?  What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?

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If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty,  what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old,  but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child,  its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).

What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic,  but in the game,  Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?

Lastly,  in the movie,  everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly),  and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?

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Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero,  and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).

That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?

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Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.

Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the  movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.

And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)

But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered?   Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women,  I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources,  is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture,  but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol,  drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury,  if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?

Etc. That's all the questions I can think of,  but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask,  if you think of anything else.

Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!

So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.

Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.

The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).

At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.

Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.

(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)

Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:

Raiden: Sub-Zero...

Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.

Raiden': That's why you shall lose.

Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?

"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"

Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.

But honestly?

The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.

Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:

Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?

Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.

Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.

Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.

Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.

Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??

Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.

Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.

Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.

Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.

Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.

And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:

Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.

Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.

Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?

Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.

Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:

“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”

“Cursed? By whom?”

Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”

Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”

“Yes… he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain… which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals… and the tunnels… and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”

“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”

“He… killed a man,” said Ruthay.

“What man?”

“A toll-taker… one who had given up a life of crime… one who had been a partner of the man… you… seek.”

“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.

“The man was killed… slowly disemboweled with a sword… while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder… the man’s remains… were dumped into a canal!”

Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”

“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body… in that way … he profaned one of the sacred waterways… of Yu!”

Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”

Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:

He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.

Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.

The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord

albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.

So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.

Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.

Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.

Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.

And so, we could see human remains:

put in two coffins on each side of statue

hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar

Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)

and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:

It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.

Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).

My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.

(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)

As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:

Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.

So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.

Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.

(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)

<><> EDIT <><>

RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS

[beauty-and-passion]

Hey! How are you? Just came across your blog recently, and I gotta say I absolutely love your theories!! I’m still catching up, but they’re so well thought out and deeply analyzed. It’s an absolute joy to read through, so thank you for all your interesting ideas!

I love theorizing myself too, and I’ve been wondering a bit about what the upcoming season finale of Sanders Sides will look like. Do you have any thoughts/theories on that?

I believe Joan mentioned we will have another 1/2 Asides before the finale of the current 2nd season. After FWSA (which apparently is playing an important part in the overall storyline according to the team), I feel like we might get an intense 2-vs-2 situation that could revolve around Thomas and Nico. Virgil and Roman on one side arguing Thomas is ready to start a relationship with Nico, and Patton and Janus on the other side arguing against it. Don’t know whether Nico would make a return so soon though, as it also feels Roman’s arc might become a vocal point in upcoming episodes (then again, the two could intertwine).

Anyway, do you have any ideas on how the finale would play out? Could we potentially get some Orange hints? (I am freaking out about him lately so would LOVE some more hints in next episodes lol.) Sorry if this is too long for an Ask Me Anything, still figuring out how to Tumblr. Would love to hear your thoughts!

First of all: thank you, I’m glad you like my theories! And I hope you will keep hanging around, because more will come in the future ;)

Second: don’t worry, this wasn’t a long ask :) it was nice to read your thoughts on the matter, because that’s not an easy one!

Third: o-oooh, what a question! I really love it! But I will also need some time to properly answer it, so I apologize in advance for my late reply.

Before starting, a premise. As you said, there will be two Asides, then a two-parts episode that will end season two. During every two-parts episode we visited the room of a new Core Side and considering we’re into Roman’s arc now, it’s pretty clear Roman’s room will be the next one. That also means this two-parts episode will be focused on Roman.

But Roman’s plot isn’t the only one we have now. There’s also:

The whole “Dark Sides relationship” (yes, I’m talking about you, Virgil and Janus)

Remus (his relationship with Roman, his functions, his future role in the creative process)

Logan and his issues

Considering that those are pretty big themes, I would develop them all in season three and just give some hints for now. There will be time to properly address them all later.

The only other plot I would keep is the one about Nico. During the first livesteam after FWSA, Thomas said he wanted to show how character!Thomas deals with a relationship. So yes, Nico IS a big deal, he will come back and the next big theme will probably be about him.

Having said that, here we are:

My Theories On The Next Two Asides And The Possible Ending Of Season Two.

_______________________________________

THE ASIDES

So we have three Asides and six Sides. Two of them were in the first Aside, so I would take them out for the other two.

We have now four Sides to see. Leaving one or two behind would have no sense, so I think we should see them all, two at a time.

Second Aside: Remus and Logan

Why the next Aside should be about them? Because we need to start talking about the creative process and how it isn’t just a purely “Roman” process, but something that requires Remus’ constant stream of ideas on one side and Logan’s realistic approach on the other.

However, it’s still a bit too early to talk about that: Thomas needs to grow, Roman needs to grow. For now, I would start by showing little by little how Remus’ suggestions can potentially be useful, if properly developed and tamed.

And we can do it thanks to Nico.

Some time passes between the first and the second Aside. Thomas and Nico starts to date, everything is good.

But Thomas is still insecure, because of what Virgil said to him in FWSA: “Will deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems? Is that fair to (Nico)?”. So he tries to be as much honest as possible with Nico, to the point of ending up being brutally honest sometimes. Nico would be a bit weirded out by this behaviour, but accept it with a shrug.

So, since things are going so well, Thomas wants to make it official. To finally be boyfriends and not just two-people-who-see-each-other-and-kinda-like-each-other.

And that’s where Logan and Remus would come into play. Thomas’ thoughts about Nico would get Remus’ attention and the sudden brainstorming session would get Logan’s. The first would poke Thomas for his less chaste thoughts, all while suggesting weird, inappropriate ways Thomas can ask Nico to be boyfriends. The second wouldn’t tear down Remus’ suggestions, but work around them, show their flaws and how they cannot work.

This back and forth will lead to Thomas realizing what he can do and how. And this solution wil be the good one: Thomas would ask Nico to be boyfriends and Nico would accept.

Third Aside: Janus and Patton

Until now, we saw two kind of cooperations: Roman and Virgil’s is based on feelings and “pushing” each other through their emotions. Logan and Remus’ is a cooperation “in power”: they work well together and we just got a glimpse of how fruitful this cooperation will be in the future.

In this Aside we will see a third kind of cooperation: the most stable and balanced one. We would see how well Janus and Patton would steer Thomas together, how they’re able to talk and compromise, how they’re gradually smoothing their most extreme points of view for Thomas’ sake. And we would see them getting along well, despite their differences.

But why showing it now? Because this would be the perfect moment in time to show it. Because now Thomas is in an official relationship: things are getting real and there are A LOT of decisions that should be taken every day. Janus and Patton’s guidance would shine and prove how a cooperation between Sides isn’t just possible, but it leads to big, better results.

And it would also prove that Roman and Virgil’s fear in FWSA (that Thomas was using deceit to solve all his problems) was without merit. Janus’ power isn’t as uncontrollable as they thought. On the contrary, with Patton’s morals balancing it and when properly used, lying help Thomas achieve more. His relationship with Nico grows stronger.

Things are going well.

_______________________________________

SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 1

I’ve got an idea in the back of my mind for a while about how things can get worse and it’s something like this:

As we saw in the Asides, Thomas and Nico’s relationship is going well. Things moved very fast, yes, but they really like each other, so it’s okay.

One day, Nico says he wants to introduce Thomas to his family. Despite an initial peak in anxiety (a subtle way to show us that Virgil has problems with change in general), Thomas accepts to meet them.

Thomas is getting ready with Roman and Virgil. Virgil is - guess what - anxious about this meeting, but he’s also all butterflies in the stomach. Roman is absolutely delighted and keeps circling around Thomas, suggesting him what to wear, what to say, how to move: in other words, the whole “Himbo hopelessly in love” starter pack.

For a while, the meeting is going smoothly. Then Roman and Virgil notice how, once in a while, Thomas drops a lie. Something like “The food is delicious” when it’s not or “what a beautiful dress” even if it’s hideous. And the two Sides get worried. Once again, they try to force Thomas to stop lying, because Lying Is Always Bad and there can’t be true love with lies.

Still insecure and pushed by them, Thomas stops lying. He inevitably ends up saying something offensive/extremely mean and/or he ends up acting so badly the meeting has to end. Nico finds an excuse to justify Thomas’ behaviour with his parents (something on the line of “Thomas is very tired”) and Thomas is forced to leave.

When he comes back home, the discussion is inevitable. Roman and Virgil straight up blame Thomas for lying in the first place, because he wouldn’t have messed up so much, if he was honest from start.

But when Janus appears to defend Thomas and tells them lying IS useful in some circumstances, the situation escalates quickly. The two Sides attack Janus, blaming him for everything and making heavy statements on how deeply he corrupted Thomas/Patton or something similar. On the other hand, Janus attacks them back. They throw words at each other, things are starting to get pretty serious...

And just when the situation reaches its climax, Patton appears. He takes Janus’ side, he explains why lying is useful - especially during formal circumstances like meeting your boyfriend’s family because you want to be accepted, not to be seen as a complete jerk - and he bluntly tells Morality is HIS job, not Virgil’s nor Roman’s.

In this standstill, Thomas’ phone rings. It’s Nico. He wants to talk with Thomas about the evening. Janus suggests a simple lie (I was tired/long day at work), but Nico tells Thomas this isn’t the first time something similar happened - thus reminding us about all of Thomas’ “bursts of honesty” we saw in the second Aside. Honesty that wasn’t seen as such by Nico, but as weird, mean behaviours from the guy he likes.

So when Thomas tries to justify himself with some lie, Nico stops him. He tells Thomas he thought about a lot of stuff, after the meeting ended. He thought about their relationship. He thought about Thomas’ behaviour. Maybe they should’ve dated more, before becoming boyfriends. Maybe they moved too fast. Maybe introducing Thomas to his parents was the wrong choice. Maybe they should think a bit more. And maybe they should take some time for themselves to think about what they want to do, before going further with this relationship.

Nico hangs up. Janus is speechless. Thomas is on the verge of crying. Patton is heartbroken. Virgil is shocked.

And Roman is absolutely devastated. The love he wanted so badly, this happiness he desperately needed, is now in danger. Instead of strengthening the relationship, everything he did only managed to worsen it.

Roman sinks down and locks himself in his room.

_______________________________________

SANDERS SIDES - ENDING OF SEASON 2 PART 2

We already had a Side ducking out and a Side welcoming the others in his room so, for this third time, we should try something different. And what’s better than Thomas & his Sides trying to break into Roman’s room?

Remus might appear for a while, just to help them get inside and leave. There are already a lot of issues Roman has to face now: his relationship with Remus can wait season 3.

So we have Thomas, Virgil, Patton and Janus all in Roman’s room. And the confrontation can finally take place.

Roman will talk about his issues, his low self-esteem and how he feels constrained by Patton’s morals. He will finally admit how he desperately wanted to go to the callback and how confused he was by morals, when he first sided with Janus, only to be blamed for not siding with him in the following episode. He would start seeing the problem with his black/white mentality and we would have a nice, mature moment with Patton apologizing for giving Roman this mentality - while promising he will grow to be a better Morality. We would also have Roman and Janus properly apologize to each other for everything they said and finally work things out.

And we can end it like this. It could be a nice ending, with some conflicts solved, others still to solve and a lot of hope for the future. Patton would feel even more motivated to keep up with his growth, because he’s not doing it just for himself but for Roman too. Roman would feel better, because now he knows no one will blame or mock him for his insecurities - on the contrary, they would still be by his side no matter what. Janus would learn that cooperation is necessary and that he should keep doing it, because this is the right choice.

And Virgil... well, Virgil would drop hints everywhere about his upcoming “second arc”.

In the first livestream after FWSA, Thomas hinted at a possible “second arc” for Virgil. So, since we have a whole season to fill, I would move Virgil’s arc, his confrontation with Janus and all the dark sides’ dynamics into the beginning of the third season. For now, Virgil may hint at a future confrontation with Janus that should happen in the first episode of season 3.

And what about Thomas?

Thomas would accept Nico’s decision and write him that he will take this time to become a better man. We may even close the episode with Nico smiling for this message, proving that he’s not mad at Thomas, he still loves him and that their relationship isn’t ended at all.

Then, we would have the end card.

And the end card would feature the Side I purposely took away from the whole season two finale. Logan.

After starring in the second Aside, Logan should completely disappear for the following two episodes and for the finale. No one should mention him or even think about him. He wouldn’t appear at all. Until now.

We would see him in a room, looking at the last episode of season 2 on Youtube. His face would be completely expressionless and he wouldn’t say a word, because the only voices would be the ones coming from the pc. The camera would slightly move to show a figure behind him. A small refocus of the camera on a little orange accent on this figure’s clothes.

And bam, the end. No explanations, no voices, nothing else. Just this. Because this would drive the fandom insane. Did Logan know Orange was behind him? Were they watching the episode together? Was Orange trying to kill him or what? What would happen? All questions that would accompany us while waiting for season three.

_______________________________________

And this is how I think the next Asides and the ending of season two will play out. Of course this is pure speculation and the next Aside might be about something completely new that makes my whole plot useless - but hey, that would mean a whole new theory to elaborate :D

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts! And for all the readers, well, feel free to add your own thoughts here about how the events will play out! Maybe one of us will get them right, who knows?

[with-my-murder-flute]

Hi everybody, thanks for the asks letting me know I made the top of @yusuftiddies’ list of Homophobes in TOG Fandom, you can stop sending them now.

So.

I can make mistakes and fuck up and own that. I am serious about listening to marginalized people. But... in this case, while @yusufstiddies generally describes factual events that happened and factual posts that exist, I have to say that I can’t actually apologize for the things I’m called out for because I don’t think they’re homophobic. The things he criticizes me for are things that come from a lot of personal experience as a queer bisexual cis woman, as well as a lot of reflection, research, and study. I believe in them really strongly and stand by them.

I’m really sorry if this makes TOG fandom too hostile, because it is not my intention to make this place so unpleasant that anyone feels driven out. I understand if my stance means people no longer want to follow me/read my stuff/participate in projects I’m involved with (though I’d rather hand off the Research Hub to someone else than see it go down with me). I’m posting this so people can know where they stand before they decide whether to keep interacting with my blog, or “deplatform” me as @yusufstiddies recommends.

I would recommend, for anyone who doesn’t want to see my posts, using Tumblr’s new post content filtering feature. If you type a username (like star-anise or with-my-murder-flute) into it, Tumblr will hide all posts featuring that specific string of characters, and therefore any post or reblog of mine.

To address the accusations against me:

I am an anti-anti: Yes. I’ve reblogged posts of mine about this before. I care passionately about preventing child abuse, but I think there are better ways to prevent child abuse in fandom (like concrete harassment policies so predatory behaviour can be reported and stopped early, and education about digital consent and healthy relationships) than attacking people who write “bad ships,” not least because the first people it hurts are abuse survivors trying to work through their trauma, and because the research says you cannot actually tell who’s a sexual predator based on what they write about.  Fiction affects reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. My mainblog, @star-anise, has a really extensive archive of my writing on the subject.

I said cishet men aren’t more privileged than gay men: Kinda. What I actually did was question whether Every Single Cishet Man benefits from more privilege than Every Single Gay Man. If a man is cishet but gets beaten up because people perceive him as gay, he’s not exactly feeling the warm toasty glow of heterosexual privilege in that moment. Oppression is complicated and there are times when someone’s lack of privilege on one axis is way less important than someone else’s lack of privilege on another axis.

The post above also includes me reblogging someone else’s addition about how straight men can be included in the queer movement: I’m queer. @yusufstiddies has made it very clear that he isn’t comfortable with the word “queer” and doesn’t like it. Therefore I think it’s understandable that he might not understand that the queer community sees ourselves as a coalition of people dedicated to dismantling the structures of sex and gender that oppress us, not a demographic of people whose gender identities or sexual orientations can be neatly mapped. However, I would say that doesn’t make queer theory inherently homophobic.

There are also some related points @yusufstiddies didn’t level at me specifically, but I would like to address:

The constant focus on the unsafeness of cishet people:

I’m not cishet. I’m a bisexual woman who’s dated women. Sixth-light is a queer woman married to a woman. This is not an issue of non-LGBTQ+ people blundering their way into something they don’t experience the daily consequences of. This is an issue of people from WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community who sincerely disagree with @yusufstiddies about the pressures we experience and how best to deal with them. I think that even if @yusufstiddies were to filter his fiction input to only LGBT-written work about LGBT experiences, or even only trans-written work about trans people, he would still find a lot of things he finds upsetting or transphobic, because sexual and gender identities are really diverse and not everything will suit one person.

The contention that saying “’Queer is a slur’ is TERF propaganda” is transmisogyny because it dilutes the definition of “TERF”:

People who point out the phrase is TERF propaganda are not calling every person who says it a TERF, and we are not trying to argue that telling a queer person that queer is a slur is inherently equal to the kind of damage a TERF does when she attacks a trans woman out of transphobia. Queer people being able to use the word “queer” does not have the same importance as trans women being able to live, work, and survive in public. Rather, we are literally saying, “This is a thing TERFs say when they take a break from attacking trans women and try to recruit new members to their group, so it’s in our best interests to not give it too wide a currency.”

Some people have experienced the word “queer” used as a hateful word hurled against them and don’t want to hear it ever again. I get that. It happens. Where I grew up, “gay” was a synonym for “shitty” and it took me a lot of years out of high school before the word “gay” wouldn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof.  I actually do understand that and think that’s valid (and again, support using post content filtering for that word).

One of the things I do at @star-anise is argue with young people who are headed into full-on transmisogynistic TERF territory, and work at reeling them back and deradicalizing them. I use a tag called “weedwhacking” so my followers can filter out the sometimes lengthy back-and-forths we get going.

Something I’ve learned, interacting with so many TERFs and proto-TERFs, is that one way they frequently get recruited into harassing trans people was through discourse around the word “queer”. For one, it encouraged them to want to distance themselves from any perception of LGBT people as “weird” or “not normal”, which led to seeing trans people as “weird” and “not normal” and therefore not good members of the “gay pride” community. For two, repeating “queer is a slur” predictably causes a lot of queer people to react in a defensive manner, so by teaching young or new people to say it, TERFs can set them up to feel alienated from the larger LGBTQ+ community and more open to TERF propaganda.

The next issue isn’t mentioned in the original callout post, but I think it’s key to this entire issue:

@yusufstiddies has made several posts about what cishet people should and shouldn’t write. For example, cishets shouldn’t write Nicky experiencing internalized homophobia.  Another is a detailed post of things cishets shouldn’t write about trans people, including which sexual positions only trans people are allowed to write. I would imagine that part of his frustration with fandom has been the lack of traction those posts have gotten. I know I very deliberately didn’t reblog them.

That isn’t because I don’t agree that the things he complains about are rarely handled well by cishet authors. I agree that there’s a lot of bad fic out there that contributes to negative stereotypes against LGBTQ+ people and is basically a microaggression to read.

I have two very deeply-seated reasons for my position:

LGBTQ+ identities are different from many other political identities because most people are not born identifiably LGBTQ+. It’s something we have to figure out about ourselves. And one really important way that we do that is using the safety of fiction to explore what an experience would be like, sometimes years before we ever admit that we fit the identity we’ve written about. So banning cishet authors from writing something is really likely to harm closeted and questioning LGBTQ+ people. It will lengthen the amount of time questioning people take before finding the identity that really fits them, and force closeted people to be even more closeted. 

There’s a lot of undeniably shitty stuff in fandom. However, I fundamentally believe that trying to target the people creating it and forcing them to stop doesn’t work very well, and has the serious byproduct of killing the creativity and enthusiasm of the rest of fandom and resulting in less of the actual thing you like being produced. I think that it is infinitely more productive to focus on improving the ratio of good stuff in fandom than trying to snuff out every bad thing.

Like I said: I understand if this means former followers, mutuals, or friends no longer want to interact with me. I’ll be saddened, but I’ve obviously chosen this path and can deal with the consequences. 

I wish this could have worked out differently.

[azurevi]

3 halloween tales (cater, jade & vil)

This is really random, but the ssr cards for the halloween show have given me many au ideas, so here are my self-indulgent stories inspired by them. The Cater one is especially long because I got a lot of ideas about it. For the Vil one.. it's pretty disappointing how it turned out, but I hope it's not too bad. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!

WARNINGS : death (all), mild mention of gore (cater), war + mild possessiveness + violence (jade) [let me know if there're more!]

the heart and its eternal weight

Cater is a cemetery caretaker. It isn't that he really loves it, but his father was one. He feels like it is only right to take after his steps.

He isn't into superstitions. Some people find distaste in his job, but it's something crucial for Cater. People, even after they're dead, should still be honored, and so deserve a hospitable place to rest. 

Everyday is a routine for him. Sometimes, though, the families of the passed talk to him about their stories and their emptiness once their loved ones are gone. Cater finds the beauty and softness in humans by hearing these stories, and it makes him even more dedicated to his job. 

It's natural to him, dying. His father was killed in an unintended accident, and sometimes it seems like his death could have been avoidable just as much as it was inevitable. He just wishes that he had had more time with him.

One of the lessons his father taught him about graveyard caretaking is to beware of ghosts. Those who recently died are more visible and intimate with the world of the living, and so they might appear before humans. Some are inhostile, of course, but there are malevolent ones.

Lore has it that some ghosts prey on hearts. It is said that the heart is the most important part of a human, as it is accountable for life, death and emotions. People believe that ghosts can be revived with a fresh, still-beating heart, and as a result the human giving up their heart will die in place of the ghost. Basically, the heart can also create ripples in the fabric of space-time.

Because of his job, he isn't all that popular among others, and he only has a few life-long close friends, his mother and sisters by him. So even if he has a crush on the most admirable person he's ever seen, he still won't make it known in fear of rejection. He figures that he still has time to figure it out.

And he's wrong. News about your tragic death spread around quickly like wildfire, and he's devastated. It feels wrong to even feel so, because he has never been acquainted with you in the first place.

Your body is buried in his cemetery, and a lot of people come to your funeral that day. Some of your family members are so heartbroken and pitiable, and so Cater offered to be their listener.

All he can hear is about the great work you've done, the care you put into everyone you met, the warmth that radiated off you while you were still alive. It breaks Cater how he's never had the privilege to know you, to experience all your graces with his own perspective.

One night, the moon is lit and hung up high in the sky, so close that it seems to be prying on Earth and the people roaming on it. Cater is patrolling with his lawnmower when he hears quiet and uncertain sobs.

He is creeped out, yes, but he's also curious. He's never seen a ghost before, and it could be a human for all he knows.

He's proved wrong once again, as he discovers your opaque body behind a giant tree. You are hugging their legs close to your chest, and a rotting hole's visible where your heart should be.

There's no way you can be hostile, and you certainly won't kill him for his heart, so Cater decides to approach you gently, tentatively, like you're smoke that will disperse the moment he intrudes.

To his surprise, you can hear him clearly, and even invite him to sit down with him. It's so bizarre -- a ghost asking for a conversation! But Cater doesn't mind as he pops down beside you. He notices how although you were no longer solid, it still feels like tense when his hand passes through you. Certainly it's because you've been dead not for long.

And so the two of you indulge in heartful conversations, and Cater finds himself regretting even more about how he never gathered the courage to go up to you. Mid-conversation you tell him about all the things that you wish you could've done and all the ideas you wished to spread.

Cater probably shouldn't have, but he is so absorbed in your ambitions and kindness that he offers to carry out all these great things for you. After numerous confirmations, you agree too to let him carry out your thoughts.

And so Cater works in his neighbourhood, sharing campaigns and donating, taking care of lost pets and cats and partaking in environment improvement. He's never felt so fulfilled before, and it's the first time he feels like he's genuinely making a difference in the world.

In times he's not representing you, he brings you up on the little hill behind the cemetery where the moon and stars are so close and vibrant, where they all dance in the dark ballroom and pulse in excitement of being seen. He wishes he could show you more hidden gems, but your spectral spirit cannot be too far away from your body. 

But it's enough.

A month passes and Cater notices subtle change in your behaviour as well as appearance, like how you're responding with less enthusiasm and how the hole in your chest is growing bigger. When he finally asks about it, he's told that ghosts generally only stay in the world of the living for 49 days, and their heart will rot away in this period. After that, they will have to go to the underworld, never be back again.

Cater is certainly shocked that the lore is more than a children's makeup story. He is well aware of the significance of the heart in relation to the soul and life. 

He asks if you'd like to have his heart instead, so bluntly and casually. You seem to return to their original intimate self when you refuse. 

"I'm already gone. It's you, the living, who should be making changes,"

So he pretends that you're not getting more and more unresponsive and less and less generous. He turns a blind eye against your wavering figure and how you can't be seen at all in the sun. He plays dumb when in reality, you're slipping away before his very own eyes, heart rotting away like nothing more than a fruit.

It hurts finally knowing and understanding someone and having to lose them. 

On the 48th day, you are already but a still, soulless shadow, leaning beside your gravestone and fresh, white flowers. Cater can still see you. Sometimes he thinks that you chose to be seen.

And he can't bear to see you go. To see your dreams go into flames, to watch such a pretty soul just - vanish.

So he gives you his heart. Alive and beating and sentimental. It doesn't even hurt a bit. 

You wake up immediately, your eyes glowing and body solidifying. 

"What have you done?" 

"What I can do to make a change,"

Time is starting to rewrite itself. Cater is going to die in your place. The space around you was warping and folding into itself, softly and rightly like a lullaby.

Just before you slip into darkness, you gather up a whole bunch of rose petals and desperately stuff them into the hole in Cater's chest, as if they can give him life in lieu of a heart, and you are sobbing and clinging onto his still warm arm, never wanting to let go.

It's all Cater wants, to save a wasted soul and to make a difference. 

And so he cradles your face, and leans in the moment everything goes black. When he wakes up again, he's weightless in the cemetery, where a bunch of well arranged roses lie on his buried body.

a melancholy specimen

To Jade, beauty needs to be preserved to be constant. It's just like flowers. They die away without proper care.

Just when he thinks he's seen all the beauties of the world and is getting bored of it, he meets you. A blooming flower sparkling in the bland, old boring world around it. He's immediately captivated - how a person can still manage to flourish in such a rotten world where everything is depressing and all man is for themselves!

You're the most elegant piece of art he's seen, and that's something considering that he owns a museum. Innocence lies in your eyes and bravery sings itself between your lips.

You find him just equally amusing -- gentlemanly, insightful and just a touch of flirtation. The two of you fall in love like Alice down the rabbit hole - amused and unstoppable, fascinated by the wonders evolving about.

But the world doesn't give a damn about love, nor do they understand your dreams of a bright future where everything is close to hearts. They call you both madness and nonsense.

"Their souls are tainted with war and sorrow. They are beyond the point of rescue. Victory and glory are all that can feed their ego,"

Jade is disappointed. War has gouged people's eyes out and filled them with wails and ash.

The two of you are the only stars in the night sky, still fighting for salvation, yearning for a better future where trees grow and flowers yearn for the sun. You promote and do your best to lift the veil of darkness off the world. 

But the sun doesn't understand either. War keeps going on and on, and people never have the time for aesthetic relaxations. It refuses to shed light on its pitiable humans.

"We should evacuate, Jade. They say a bomb is dropping tomorrow,"

Jade doesn't care and can't care. The most paramount thing is to open his eyes to the beauty of this world. He doesn't want to become one of those barbarous men, tasting dirt and blood on their tongue while they glorify violence and brutalness.

He stays behind while his neighbourhood dies away. You are the only ones yet to leave. 

"Please don't leave me, Y/N. You're the only light in my life,"

You can't bear to leave him, and so you stay. The bomb is dropped, and it's too close. Too hot. Too cruel, too inhumane. It ravages everything in its way, burning all the darkened things to the ash and bringing the only beauty left in this world with it.

Jade wails. Broken cries are engulfed by nearby explosions and the cackling of flames. Your soulless body lies amidst the destruction, just another wilted flower in the slit of a rock, deprived of water and sunlight.

He finally understands. Nothing can save the world anymore. It's gone way too far, and it will never recover from malevolence. All he can feel is pity for his world as his heart ache with spite.

Bandages around his hands, he wraps your corpse up completely, preserved underneath the layers. You will be his reminder that there was once a flower in this drought, an anchor keeping him from becoming one of those barbarians.

lifeless silhouette in the dark night

You can never recognize directions. You find yourself stumbling upon a seemingly inhabited mansion in the middle of the woods. Cold and bruised, you knock on its door.

Welcoming you is a tall man with blonde and lilac hair called Vil. His skin is unnaturally white, and his eyes seem to glow like orbs that eat your souls. But you are too tired to make notice of all these details, and he's kind enough to let you stay for the night.

He treats you with ravishing cuisine and a grand bedroom that was as grotesque as the rest of the house. Afterwards, he leaves you to rest, but not before warning you not to get out of the room post midnight.

You oblige- for the first half hour. Then you start to hear wails and footsteps that amplify and disappear. It's impossible to sleep.

The next morning, you confront Vil about it. He refuses to face the questions as he ushers you to get going, and so off you go.

You spend another day lost in the woods, then somehow come face to face with the mansion again. Vil is beyond shocked to see you, but then he breaks into a deep smile.

"It's almost as if you belong here,"

Weirdly enough, you could agree, There seemed to be an invisible force pulling you towards Vil. After dinner, he orders you not to leave the room again before making his leave.

Broken wails. Recurring footsteps. You can't bear it any longer, and you also wonder if Vil is aware of this. He properly is, and thus tells you to stay safe inside the room.

But dumb curiosity gets the best of you, and you open the door and step into the endless corridors.

The wails come from the host's room, where Vil is supposed to be. You're closing in when its door is suddenly flung open, and out runs a panting Vil.

"Vil? What are-"

His eyes are bloodshot and there's red stain in the corner of his mouth. Sweat dots his forehead. He looks disheveled and the complete opposite of how he was during dinner.

"You shouldn't be here. Get back - get back in!"

His voice booms in your skull, and you're running back to your room before you notice. 

It's another sleepless night.

To your luck, Vil doesn't wait for you to bring the incident up.

"Don't be creeped ou by it, please."

He seems very uneasy about it, but he's obstinate to give you an explanation.

Turns out that he is a vampire. One that has lived for 500 years and is waiting for his eventual death. He's seen everything in this world and lived through the best and worst of humanity. He understands people's fear about vampires, and so he resides in the remote part of the wood. He only ever drinks the blood of small animals that he hunt, and never has he once killed a man.

He knew nothing about what'd happen to him when he became a vampire. If he'd known about the repercussions, he'd never have become one in exchange of eternal beauty. Now he has to turn someone else into a vampire to end his immortality. It is only a cycle.

 Every night the moon rises and spills into his room, and he has to fight his urge to go out and taste the sweet blood of humans. 

There are times when he slips and loses control, but he always manages to get back to his senses. But it seems that your presence here in the mansion is awaking his desire to suck you dry.

You're bewildered to say the least, and frankly horrified. But at the same time you feel pity for him, for he is just a man who can't ever do anything as atrocious as hurting people.

And so you offer to end his suffering. Of course Vil disagrees. He just talked about how he never wanted to take a life, and now you're offering yourself to him? He'd never allow it.

But you're even more persistent. You keep staying in his mansion, and his sanity slips a little more every night. And you know that he's contemplating too, for he never tries to kick you out of his mansion.

"You deserve a rest, Vil. For your love and selflessness. For all the unspoken kindness you bestow on others. It is only fair that you get to rest,"

Vil has lived a life. He's but a mere walking corpse now, and a rest -- a sleep -- sounds just like what he needs.

And so he rests. Vil falls into a deep, serene sleep while you endure each and every dark night.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

The Desert Fox: Separating the myth and the man of Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, and brains saves both.

- Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

War hero or Nazi villain? Field Marshal Erwin Rommel is, to this day, the subject of heated debate. He was the “Desert Fox,” revered by Allied Forces for his supposed chivalry, and allegedly implicated in the “Valkyrie” plot to assassinate Hitler.

But present day historians have increasingly come to re-examine the life and the legend of this most iconic of World War Two generals.

I first became interested in this question after reading Corelli Barnett’s magisterial account ‘The Desert Generals’ back when I was in Sandhurst. I read other World War Two books before then of course but it was only at Sandhurst did I first give serious consideration towards Rommel as ‘the Good German’ general. I read other books too like General Sir David Fraser’s ‘Knight’s Cross: a life of Field Marshal Rommel’ as a stand out one on military stuff but a very cursory examination of his early life and beliefs.

Rommel was a legend in the making.

Whichever side of the debate one falls on there is no doubt that Erwin Rommel, was one  of the most celebrated and respected generals of the Second World War  and indeed, some even say one of the greatest generals of all time. His prowess on the  battlefield earned him more than a battlefield earned him the  admiration of both his men and his enemies alike, with adversaries  lining up to pay tribute to their greatest foe in the field.

“We  have a very daring and skilful opponent against us, and, may I say  across the havoc of war, a great general,” said no less than Winston  Churchill himself of Rommel, just after the war ended in his book on the  conflict, The Second World War. 

When Churchill came under fire in the press for praising a man seen as a  Nazi, he doubled down, commenting “He also deserves our respect  because, although a loyal German soldier, he came to hate Hitler and all  his works, and took part in the conspiracy to rescue Germany by  displacing the maniac and tyrant.

For this, Rommel paid the  forfeit of his life. In the sombre wars of modern democracy, chivalry  finds no place… Still, I do not regret or retract the tribute I paid to  Rommel, unfashionable though it was judged.”

Indeed,  the extent to which Rommel was a Nazi is one of the great questions that has been asked since the war and one that is debated to this day. Rommel, while respected by those who fought him from afar as generals  and indeed, thought of a genius to many of those who fought beneath him  in the Wehrmacht, has often faced criticism of his tactics and his  decision making, with some post-war writers holding him up as a man  prone to erratic behaviour on the battlefield and a great sufferer from  the stresses of the job.

“Rommel  was jumpy, wanted to do everything at once, then lost interest. Rommel  was my superior in command in Normandy. I cannot say Rommel wasn’t a  good general. When successful, he was good; during reverses, he became  depressed,” said Sepp Dietrich, who fought under Rommel in France and  ended the war as the most senior figure in the Waffen-SS.

A  similar sentiment was expressed by Luftwaffe field marshal Albert Kesselring, a contemporary of Rommel’s and an officer of similar rank,  who later wrote: “He was the best leader of fast-moving troops but only  up to army level. Above that level it was too much for him. Rommel was  given too much responsibility. He was a good commander for a corps of  army but he was too moody, too changeable. One moment he would be  enthusiastic, next moment depressed.”

Who  was this great man then? We know him today as a great tactician, a charismatic leader, a respected general and the last German participant  in the so-called “clean war”. But how true are those assessments? Was  the Desert Fox as chivalrous as his enemies thought him to be?

Rommel was far from just a Second World War hero – he distinguished himself in World War One too.

Rommel  graduated from the military academy in Gdansk – then known as Danzig  and an integral part of Germany – in 1912 and was immediately posted back to his home region of Baden-Württemberg.

When war  broke out in 1914, Rommel was ready to face his first major conflict posting. As a battery commander within the 124th division of the German  army, he would distinguish himself and gain his first recognition from  the higher-ups.

Erwin saw his  first action at the age of 23 on August 22, 1914, near the French town  of Verdun. Rommel led his platoon into a French garrison, catching them  by surprise and personally leading the charge ahead of the rest of his  men, earning credits for bravery and ingenuity. He would be awarded the  Iron Cross, Second Class, for his actions, a promotion to First  Lieutenant and a transfer into the Royal Württemberg Mounted Battalion  as a company – rather than platoon – commander.

Rommel  would go on to fight in the German campaigns in Italy and Romania, with  particular note being taken by the German Army hierarchy of his conduct in the Italian campaign. The Royal Württemberg Mounted Battalion fought  at the Battle of Caporetto, the twelfth battle to be fought along the  Isonzo River in modern-day Slovenia, and one that would go down as  probably the largest military defeat in the history of Italy.

Rommel  would play a central role, leading the Royal Württemberg, with just 150  men, to capture an estimated 9,000 Italians, complete with all their  guns, for a cost of just 6 of his own men.

The  young Rommel used the challenging, mountainous terrain of Caporetto – now known as Kobarid – to outflank the Italians and convince them that  they were totally encircled by Germans, when in fact there was just one  battalion. Fearing that they were surrounded, the Italians surrendered  en masse and were surprised to find that so few men were able to capture  them.

The efforts of the German Army to break into the  Italian Front through the Slovenian Alps – at the time, part of Italy –  were vital in furthering an advance towards Venice, though the Germans  were eventually stopped and turned back.

Rommel  was awarded the Pour Le Merite award by the Kaiser for his leadership  at Caporetto, but also gained the respect and loyalty of his men, who  were not only impressed by the way in which his tactics had won the battle, but also by the way that he had stood up to the German Army high command and argued for more and better food for his men. The legend of Rommel was growing apace.

Rommel was an effective teacher as well as a military leader.

It shouldn’t be too surprising that Rommel was a capable teacher: his father had been a headmaster, while the ability to communicate his ideas  effectively in the field would lead to some of his most enduring  military victories. There was no point coming up with a revolutionary  tactic to win a battle if you couldn’t then inform and inspire your men  well enough for them to then go and carry it out.

At  the end of the First World War, Rommel was entering his late 20s and  had already been widely feted for his military prowess. While it might  have seemed a little dull compared to the derring-do on the Isonzo, the  role of the Royal Württenberg Mountain Battalion lay much closer to  home, with German society slowly disintegrating into civil wars between,  on the left, socialists who wanted Germany to undergo a revolution  similar to that which had recently occurred in Russia, and on the right,  groups such as the Freikorps, disgruntled ex-soldiers and nationalist,  anti-communist paramilitaries that would go on to form the kernel of the  Nazi Party.

Rommel,  recently promoted again to the rank of Captain, was ordered to use his  soldiers in a policing capacity, putting down insurrections all over  southern Germany. It was during this period that he showed some of the  sense of restraint that would distinguish his conduct in North Africa  during World War Two, trying to avoid the use of force against crowds of  civilians where possible.

After  the Weimar Republic took hold, however, the country somewhat stabilised  and Rommel found himself in Dresden, teaching new recruits. He had been  promoted in turn to Major, then Lieutenant Colonel, placing him in the  very highest echelons of the Treaty of Versailles-reduced German Army.

He  was recognised as one of the prime instructors in that army and wrote a book, “Infantry Attacks”, that furthered his theories on warfare and  explained his experiences in the Izonzo – it sold incredibly well and  increased Rommel’s personal fame, as well as bringing him to the  attention of Adolf Hitler, who was known to have read the book.

Rommel met Hitler in Goslar, Germany in 1934, while Rommel was posted as battalion commander. Hitler’s charisma and promises to reestablish Germany as a world power after the crippling results of World War I inspired Rommel to become a fervent supporter of the Nazi Party.

The two men had several encounters following this, and Rommel rose through the ranks on Hitler’s personal recommendation. But it was ultimately Hitler’s liking for Rommel’s book Infantry Attacks that led to his becoming the commander of Hitler’s personal guards during his tour of the Sudetenland.

By  the 1930s with Hitler fully secured in power, the German Army, for whom Rommel worked, and the Nazi state were more and more inseparable. It would be this coming together that prompted a major dilemma for  the career soldiers such as Rommel: did the duty lie to their country,  and whoever might be governing it, or to the party, that was coming to  define what that country was about?

Rommel was a committed Nazi and not the “decent face” of the German Army.

Rommel’s antagonism wasn’t so much against Nazism as it was towards the Nazis in leadership who led it. His committment to Nazism eroded as the war took a wrong turn and as Hitler increasingly became erratic in his military decision making that Rommel grew increasingly frustrated.

Just  how much of a Nazi Rommel was is one of the biggest questions that is debated about him to this day. It is largely due to the Rommel myth that  was perpetuated by the likes of Winston Churchill after the war that  Rommel was taken by the victorious Allies as “the good Nazi”, or the  honest general who happened to be being ordered about by the Nazis,  merely a career soldier who followed orders and stayed out of politics.

Let’s  put that one to bed, here and now. Rommel was an early adopter of the Nazi Party and a committed believer in the ideals of  National  Socialism, while also being an officer who regularly disobeyed orders –  making both commonly held assumptions wrong.

That said, he  is one of the few figures of that period who is still revered in Germany, who still has streets named after him and memorials in his  honour. It seems that the myth persists in his homeland too, despite  countless books and articles to the contrary.

One  such author attempting to shake this idea from the public consciousness is Wolfgang Proske, a historian and history professor from Rommel’s hometown on Heidenheim, who has written 16 books about his town’s most  famous son. “Rommel was a deeply convinced Nazi and, contrary to popular  opinion, he was also an anti-Semite. It is not only the  Germans who have fallen into the trap of believing that Rommel was  chivalrous. The British have been convinced by these stories as well,”  he told British newspaper The Independent in 2011 when a new memorial to  the Field Marshal was unveiled.

“At  the time when Rommel marched into Tripoli, more than a quarter of the city’s population were Jews,” Proske continued, “There is evidence which  shows that Rommel forbad his troops to buy anything from Jewish  traders. Later on, he used the Jews as slave laborers. Some of them were  even used as so-called ‘mine dogs’ who were ordered to walk over  minefields ahead of his advancing troops.”

While  Rommel was never a member of the Nazi Party, it is widely known that Wehrmacht figures, particularly high-ranking ones such as Rommel,  welcomed Hitler coming to power. Those, like Rommel, whose backgrounds  had shut them off from the highest ranks of the Kaiser’s forces, saw the  new government as one that would see them move to the top of the tree  and as such were generally in favor of it.

Goebbels  himself wrote in 1942, when Rommel was in the running for the role of Commander-in-Chief of the Wehrmacht, that the Field Marshal was ”ideologically sound, is not just sympathetic to the National Socialists. He is a National Socialist; he is a troop leader with a gift for  improvisation, personally courageous and extraordinarily inventive. These are the kinds of soldiers we need.”

Rommel owes a large part of his fame to the fact that he made fools of opposing general - well almost (Patton would disagree).

Rommel’s  prowess as a general is unquestioned. On the back of his heroics as a low-level officer in World War One added to by his role teaching at the forefront of modern military tactics, he was perfectly positioned to lead the Nazi war machine into the second conflict.

When  the war began, he was leading Hitler’s personal protection battalion –  so much for a man who kept a distance from the center of Nazi power –  and thus was privy to the highest levels of discussions regarding  tactics, particularly the way in which to use mechanized infantry such  as tanks. After the early successes in Poland, Rommel moved with the  front to France and commanded Panzer units, before distinguishing  himself against the British at Arras and leading the drive towards  Dunkirk.

With the British  regrouping on the other side of the Channel after a crushing defeat –  which, lest we forget, Dunkirk was – the focus turned to North Africa, where Rommel would lead the newly-established Afrika Korps. He was the superstar of the German Army, a reputation largely built on his ability  to vanquish the British, whom he would now face again in the desert. It was at this time that his nickname, The Desert Fox, was coined by the  British press, who sought to create a figure against which the war could  be fought.

The legacy of Rommel as the acceptable Nazi could be seen to stem from this point when the media in Britain saw fit  to create a worthy adversary for their troops to combat. Rommel was  thought to be an old-style soldier rather than an out-and-out Nazi:  though we have seen that he was a Nazi, and he had arguably committed war crimes by summarily executing prisoners in France just weeks before.

Come  the victory of the British at Tobruk and El Alamein, the British propaganda machine had even more than a noble adversary. They had a  noble adversary against whom they had lost in Europe and then  subsequently defeated: when the characters of the British side,  Auchinleck and Montgomery, were spoken of, they needed someone of equal  weight to make their victories seem even more heroic, a role that fit  Rommel perfectly.

With morale at home low after the  Dunkirk evacuation, the victories in North Africa were vital to keeping  spirits up, and a glorious victory against an equally glorious enemy  sounded even better. Churchill himself called Rommel an “extraordinary  bold and clever opponent” and a “great field commander” in the House of  Commons in 1942 – after he had just been defeated.

Rommel’s reputation for chivalry in North Africa might not just be down to his own intentions.

Of  course, some aspects the Allied propaganda about Rommel – that he was a  fair fighter, that he respected the ideals of chivalry when other  Germans didn’t – were generally true.

It is undoubted  that, by and large, Rommel adhered to the rules of war when plenty of  Nazi generals didn’t, but it bears mentioning that the reason that so many German generals were so callous is that they were ordered to be  like that. Orders within the Nazi war machine came down from high and  were often brutal in their nature: summary execution of prisoners,  rounding up of Jews and other minorities, scorched earth policies. That  was just the orders aimed at enemies: often generals would be ordered to  stand their ground to the death when all military logic told them to  make a tactical retreat.

Rommel’s dedication to upholding the “war  without hate” as he called the more traditional methods of war is up for debate, but certainly, he did take measure to negate the harsher aspects. That said, there are other factors that question whether his commitment to the “war without hate” was intentional, circumstantial or ideologically-driven.

When most German generals were likely to commit acts of ethnic cleansing, Rommel  was not generally faced with the question. North Africa, where this reputation was developed, had hardly any Jews, for example, and other potential targets for Nazi aggression were protected by being citizens of Italy and Rommel was wary of standing on the toes of their allies.  That said, many within the North African Jewish community are reported  as having felt that they were spared from the horrors suffered by Jews  in Europe by the actions of the Afrika Korps, led by Rommel.

It  is also widely accepted that he refused to execute captured Jewish prisoners and hated the use of slave labour. As far as his own troops  were concerned, Rommel repeatedly refused orders directly from Hitler.  When, at the end of the second Battle of El Alamein, Hitler commanded  him directly not to retreat and to show his soldiers “no other road than  that to victory or death.”

Knowing that it was impossible for him to defeat the advancing British, who massively outnumbered his forces,  Rommel chose to ignore the letter from the Fuhrer and fled all the way  across North Africa to Tunisia rather than face death in the sand. While he was way too politically powerful to be censured by Hitler, actions  such as this were contributory to a wider feeling among the Nazi hierarchy that Rommel was not one of them.

He was a PR superstar in Germany, but was both respected and later suspected by the Nazi leadership. 

Rommel’s  reputation within Germany might well have made him untouchable for the  Nazi hierarchy, even when he did things that were in direct contradiction of the ideological and military strategy of the regime. They had invested so much time and so much weight in making him the  poster boy of their propaganda regime that, when Rommel turned out to be  less than what they had hoped for, they could not easily dispose of  him.

On paper, he was the perfect fit for their media machine: he was an early adopter of Nazism, already a hero from the  First World War and an excellent general, with victories aplenty. Moreover, they could cite the Allies reverence for him in their favor,  and Rommel himself was comfortable in the spotlight and relished the  attention.

Hitler was always wary of building up any one single figure too far – lest he be challenged  himself – but Goebbels, the chief propagandist, knew an opportunity when he saw it and Rommel could not be passed up. As Rommel’s media image  grew and grew, he became the darling of the public back home, but in the  corridors of power in Berlin, there were plenty of higher-ups who were  less convinced of his powers.

Even from the early days of the war in 1941, when Rommel was in France, some of those who fought  alongside him were doubting just how effective he actually was a  general. By the time that the war in North Africa had turned against him  in 1943, the German furthest expansions were contracting: the Battle of  Stalingrad had been lost in February and Rommel departed Tunisia in May.

It might have made sense if the Nazis had thought Rommel their best general, to send him to the  Eastern Front where the war was being lost. Perhaps, too, the brutal nature of the war on the Ostfront was seen as beyond Rommel’s nature:  this was not the time or place for “war without hate”, in the eyes of  the Nazi leadership.

Instead, he was dispatched to Italy. As Italy fell, Rommel was demoted from the head of the campaign to second in command to Albert Kesselring, alongside whom he had served throughout the North Africa campaigns.

Later in France, Rommel was the man in charge of building the Atlantic Wall that would protect Nazi-occupied France from Allied invasion: though he had warned heavily that his experiences in North Africa had  taught him that land and sea defences would be nothing if air supremacy allowed the Allies to destroy the Nazi army from above, Rommel was ignored.

After the defeat in North Africa, the retreat through  Greece and Italy and the failure to stop the D-Day invasions, his  reputation as a superstar general back home was in tatters.

Rommel’s reputation got a huge boost because of a 1951 film.

If Rommel’s reputation as a great leader was undermined by the  catastrophic defeats on the African, Italian and Western Fronts in the  last two years of the war, why was it that the so-called “Rommel Myth”  was so pervasive after the war? The theories are numerous, but one major contributing factor must be the success of the 1951 film, The Desert  Fox. Rommel was played by the iconic actor James Mason who won critical acclaim for his role.

Rommel was a  well-known figure in Allied countries and in 1950, the first biography  of the “good German” was released in the UK. Written by Desmond Young, a British brigadier-general who had himself been captured by Rommel during the war, “Rommel: The Desert Fox” was incredibly popular in Britain and cemented the position of the vanquished general as the acceptable enemy.  

His later involvement in the 1944 plot against Hitler did a lot to wash Rommel of the stain of Nazism – conveniently forgetting  the decade or so that he had spent close to the top of the regime – and  his position as the general who was beaten “fair and square” endeared  him to a British audience. After all, it’s much easier to build heroes of your own generals when they have beaten a general that you also  respect.

The 1951 film of The  Desert Fox further spread the myth and was widely popular in the UK. The  narrative of Rommel, the good German, being defeated by the heroic British in the clean war in North Africa was a far more palatable one in the burgeoning Cold War than one that emphasised the horrible destruction that had come through the Soviet victory in the East.

There  could be little appetite for a war with Russia when people were constantly being reminded of the horrific images that had emerged from the Eastern Front. Thus, the clean general of the fair fight in North Africa was an enticing idea.

The Germans, too, were all too pleased to go along with Rommel as their figurehead. Their army had been severely curtailed after their defeat,  but there was a clamour to de-Nazify the Wehrmacht and remove the stigma  from the German armed forces. The Bundeswehr, the new German army, was  more palatable to a post-war world when it could be seen as the legacy of good soldiers lead by bad politicians rather than an integral and vital part of the Nazi war machine.

Thus, the idea of The  Desert Fox was created and, to a large extent, still persists. He  remains the only Nazi to be lionised within Germany: public squares and streets bear his name, as does the largest barracks of the Bundeswehr.  Whether such a status is deserved, however, is still a question about which historians continue to argue.

During the first half of 2020 many countries have been reconsidering the roles of their historical figures - remembered in statue form - due to their controversial views or actions from today’s point of view.  In Britain, France and Belgium, statues of figures associated with the colonial past have become the target of public criticism in some quarters.  In the United States, not only statues of Confederate figures who defended slavery during the American Civil War were destroyed or even demolished, but also, for example, the discoverer of America, Christopher Columbus.

In Germany a similar process was also underway. The monument to the Wehrmacht Marshal Erwin Rommel in Heidenheim came under severe renewed scrutiny.

Germany's memorial to Field Marshal Erwin Rommel is perched on a hillside overlooking the middle-class town of Heidenheim an der Brenz where he was born 120 years ago. The words inscribed on the white limestone monument describe the legendary Second World War general as "chivalrous", "brave" and as a "victim of tyranny"

The monument, which was built in 1961 by the German Afrikakorps Association, aroused long-term controversy and in the past was repeatedly damaged by inscriptions that called Rommel a Nazi.  In 2014, Heidenheim City Hall expressed its intention to contrast the monument with another memorial building. By 2020 those calls took on a greater momentum.

The German artist Rainer Jooss was brought in by the municipal authorities to re-interpret the existing monument without having to destroy it completely. Jooss took as his starting point to focus on other parts of Rommel’s legacy. It was little known that Rommel had large minefields laid during the campaign of German troops in North Africa during World War II.  In Libya and Tunisia alone, at least 3,300 people have lost their legs and another 7,500 have been maimed since the statistics were kept in the 1980s. So Jooss designed black silhouette cut out of a maimed child victim of war to complement the monument.

“The monument does not represent the truth, but encourages us to look for it,” said Bernhard Ilg, Mayor of Baden-Württemberg, at the presentation of the monument’s design unveiling in July 2020. Jooss was more stoic. Joos believed it would be a mistake to remove the Rommel monument altogether,"If we let grass grow over it, that would mean the end of the important task of dealing with history.”

The artist behind the modification to the Heidenheim monument said his statue was purposefully made to look small next to the impressive limestone bloc."I wanted to confront the monumental (features) of the original memorial with the fragility of a land mine victim.” Jooss wanted and hoped that it was up to “the next generations to make a picture of themselves based on factual histography.”

Yet eminent historians have since dismissed the fresh silhouette plaque as a transparent attempt to avoid addressing the deep seated questions about Rommel. Indeed Rommel’s privileged position to being seen as the ideal role model for the Bundeswehr (the unified armed forces of Germany and their civil administration and procurement authorities). While recognising his great talents as a commander, they point out several problems: such as Rommel's involvement with a criminal regime and his political naivete. However, there are also many supporters of the continued commemoration of Rommel by the Bundeswehr, and there remains military buildings and streets named after him and portraits of him displayed.

The politician scientist Ralph Rotte called for his replacement with Manfred von Richthofen. Historian Cornelia Hecht opined that whatever judgement history will pass on Rommel – who was the idol of World War II as well as the integration figure of the post-war Republic – it was now the time in which the Bundeswehr should rely on its own history and tradition, and not any Wehrmacht commander. Jürgen Heiducoff, a retired Bundeswehr officer, had written that the maintenance of the Rommel barracks' names and the definition of Rommel as a German resistance fighter are capitulation before neo-Nazi tendencies. Heiducoff agreed with Bundeswehr generals that Rommel was one of the greatest strategists and tacticians, both in theory and practice, and a victim of contemporary jealous colleagues, but argued that such a talent for aggressive, destructive warfare was not a suitable model for the Bundeswehr, a primarily defensive army. Heiducoff criticised those Bundeswehr generals for pressuring the Federal Ministry of Defence into making decisions in favour of the man who they openly admire.

Rommel has had his supporters from this avalanche of revisionist criticism. Historian Michael Wolffsohn supported the Ministry of Defense's decision to continue recognition of Rommel, although he thought the focus should be put on the later stage of Rommel's life, when he began thinking more seriously about war and politics, and broke with the regime. Mitteldeutscher Rundfunk (MDR) reported that, "Wolffsohn declares the Bundeswehr wants to have politically thoughtful, responsible officers from the beginning, thus a tradition of 'swashbuckler' and 'humane rogue' is not intended".

According to authors like Ulrich vom Hagen and Sandra Mass though, the Bundeswehr (as well as NATO) deliberately endorses the ideas of chivalrous warfare and apolitical soldiering associated with Rommel. At a German Ministry conference soliciting input on the matter, Dutch general Ton van Loon advised the German Ministry that, although there can be historical abuses hidden under the guise of military tradition, tradition is still essential for the esprit de corps, and part of that tradition should be the leadership and achievements of Rommel. Historian Christian Hartmann opined that not only Rommel's legacy was worthy of tradition but the Bundeswehr "urgently needs to become more Rommel". 

There are other historians who have tried to take a middle path on the continued controversy of Rommel’s legacy. Historian Johannes Hürter believed that instead of being the symbol for an alternative Germany, Rommel should be the symbol for the willingness of the military elites to become instrumentalised by the Nazi authorities. As for whether he can be treated as a military role model, Hürter writes that each soldier can decide on that matter for themselves. Historian Ernst Piper argued that it was totally conceivable that the Resistance saw Rommel as someone with whom they could build a new Germany. According to Piper though, Rommel was a loyal national socialist without crime rather than a democrat, thus unsuitable to hold a central place among role models, although he should be integrated as a major military leader.

Whether one is for and against Rommel such debates take place because he is dead in conveniently ambiguous circumstances.

Recovering from skull fractures in hospital, he missed the main event - the 20 July Bomb Plot 1944 - insitigated by other senior German army officers. Hitler survived the blast, and immediately set about executing the plotters.

While Rommel had lots of contact with many key conspirators and was generally aware of the movement(s) to assassinate Hitler, there is no direct evidence that he knew about the July 20th plot in advance, let alone was involved in any detailed planning. Several conspirators allegedly confessed during interrogation that he was involved and, like Speer, his name was found on Goerdeler’s list of possible participants in a new German government.

Rommel was listed among various possibilities for Reich President. Unfortunately for him, there was no question mark or other notation, as in Speer’s case, which indicated that he was unaware of the designation.

He maintained his innocence when confronted by General Burgdorff on the day he died and also told his wife and son that he had played no part in the events of July 20th. But ultimately, there’s no way to know what he was or was not aware of. He took that with him to the grave.

The list of members of the 20 July plot doesn´t name Rommel as part of the attempt to kill Adolf Hitler. But: Rommel was blamed of having known of plans to do so. So he was forced to commit suicide.

On 19 th October 1944 Rommel met two german generals at his home. They showed him pretended evidence about his paticipation in “operation valkyrie”, which he denied to be true. They accompanied him away from his home, where he swallowed a capsule filled with potassium cyanide and died. The two generals Wilhelm Burgdorf and Ernst Maisel , members of german court of military honour, who had handed over the capsule to Rommel, drove back to his home and contended that Rommel had died because of ramifications of an injury he received on 17th of July during an allied bombardement.

Given a choice between a trial, involving his disgrace, execution and his family’s impoverishment - and suicide - he chose the latter.

The story given to the public was that he’d died of wounds sustained in the air attack. He was named a “german hero”, was “honoured” with a state funeral an d buried in Herrlingen, Germany.

Had he lived who knows what his real fate might have been at the hands of the Allies. At the main Nuremberg trials, the two army generals prosecuted were Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel and General Alfred Jodl. Both were accused of conspiracy to commit crimes against peace; planning, initiating and waging wars of aggression; war crimes; and crimes against humanity. Both were convicted on all four charges and hanged.

The principal charge against Keitel was the infamous 13 May 1941 Barbarossa Decree, which condemned captured prisoners and ensured a high level of brutality by German soldiers against Soviet civilians. Jodl was the author of the Commando decree – ordering that any Allied commandos encountered in Europe and Africa should be killed immediately without trial, even if in proper uniforms or if they attempted to surrender. 

General Heinz Guderian is an example of a prominent German general who did survive the war but was not prosecuted for war crimes.

Another prominent example is Field Marshall Kesselring, who had commanded the defence of Italy after the Allies invaded. Kesselring was not prosecuted at Nuremburg, but did face a British military court in Italy. The Moscow declaration of October 1943 had stated that those accused of war crimes would be prosecuted in the country where they had committed their crimes. Although the trial was conducted in Italy, Italian judges did not participate as Italy was not considered an ally. Kesselring was prosecuted for the shooting of hundreds of Italian prisoners in retaliation for attacks on German soldiers. Kesselring was found guilty and condemned to death. British General Alexander, who had run the Italian campaign, and Winston Churchill pleaded for the sentence to be commuted - which it was. Kesselring was released in 1952 and lived until 1970.

By comparison Rommel was never accused of issuing similar decrees. Many felt that he was an honourable soldier. Nor was he ever accused of shooting prisoners in the way Kesselring was. Rommel’s military reputation is that of a highly professional soldier who carried out his duties according to a military code of ethics. His record is untainted by atrocities or unsavoury tactics against the enemy or civilian populations. He tended to live a charmed life early in the war.

Had he lived one can only speculate as to his fate and his legacy. Speculation regarding a possible role for him in the rebuilding of German forces for NATO, had he survived, is unrealistic. Rommel was never a strategically-minded commander. Indeed it is well known that Quartermasters hated him for his habit of outrunning his supplies on the battlefield.

The likelihood is he might well have been allowed to live without any kind of Allied retribution for war crimes as he was never guilty of any such departures from a strict military code of behaviour. But in trial - he would surely would have been put on trial even if he would be found not guilty - the messy details of his involvement with the Nazi regime would come to light. It would show that Rommel certainly benefited from the regime he served, and I think would have been considered guilty by association, even if his enthusiasm for Hitler waned in his final days.

Post-war, it would not have surprised me at all if the Allies had sought to build a West German government around Rommel. Staunchly anti-Communist, he nevertheless was seen widely as honourable and pro-West. But what role he would have been given - or what role the allies might have been able to make palatable to a war ravaged population - can only be speculated.

I suspect he would have served in some official capacity within the Bundeswehr before retiring to write his highly expected memoirs. It’s telling that Rommel’s chief of staff, Hans Speidel, drove the creation of the Bundeswehr and was the first to be named a generaloberst in that force. Later he was Supreme Commander of all NATO ground forces in Central Europe (which was almost all of it). It’s an intriguiing thought what Rommel might have played in a post-war Cold War Germany and Europe. Speidel and Rommel were inseparable and cut from the same bolt of cloth. Indeed it was Hans Speidel, who had been involved in the July 20 plot, wrote after the war that Rommel was a member of the resistance, (for which there is no evidence) that contributed towards Rommel and ‘The Good German’ Myth. 

Given all that was “overlooked” by both the Allies and the German people after World War Two. There’s no logical reason to think that Rommel would not have been as honoured, if not more so, after the war. After all, one of the main Bundeswehr barracks continues to be named after him in 1965.

To me he was a great general rightly lauded by his peers and military historians - but not the best. Rommel was a highly competent tactical commander, but there were many such commanders in the Wehrmacht. His prominence is due to a number of things. Firstly, he was always Hitler favourite; secondly Goebbels played him up in his propaganda; and thirdly he fought the British and Americans and thus received much more attention in the Western press and historians after the War than the German commanders fighting the Soviets.

Indeed an argument can be made that by fighting in the Western Desert in a sector that the British had logistical and material superiority (and thus difficult to defeat), Rommel essentially taught the British and the Americans Blitzkrieg tactics - essentially modern warfare. His very inflated legacy saved the British from admitting their military performance in North Africa was abysmal until the Axis forces overextended their supply lines and the American supply of goods was able to compensate for substandard British equipment. 

It’s also forgotten that Rommel also oversaw the building of Hitler’s Atlantic Wall which was essentially a fiction when he took over. Immense resources were poured into the project. The impact was to delay the Anglo-Americn invasion about 5 hours and only on one beach (Omaha).

And no matter how humane and honourable he was, Rommel was ultimately a weak man who chose to look away when it was convenient to his career to do so. Indeed I agree with many historians today that he was primarily bent on serving Hitler to advance his career. He was a man who believed he was serving a king and realises too late that he was a devil. I have little doubt that he was conflicted by that especially as it grew during the seven months of his life leading up to his death. Perhaps the best tactical military manoeuvre he made was to take the poison forced upon him and thereby save his family but also secure his legacy, even if that legacy remains mostly intact if a little more tarnished to this day.

[pi-cat000]

MSA time travel idea (part 41)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24, 25  Lewis POV 3,  Mystery POV , Vivi POV 3, 29, Lewis POV 4, 31, ViVi POV 4 , 33, 34, Lewis POV 5, Mystery POV 2, Lewis POV 6, Vivi POV 5, Lewis POV 7 VIVI POV 6

Part 42: here

...

VIVI POV:

The flames are kind of mesmerising, with their dancing oranges and yellows, streaked with green and the occasional blue as various materials reacted differently to the heat. It is easy just to stare and let her attention wander, fatigue turning all her worries into background static. Inside the van, various camping implements twist and warp. It is the ache in her leg muscles that eventually pulls her attention back to the present. Her legs are tired from her earlier search for the van and prolonged restless standing. A reminder that she has a long walk back to Pepper Paradiso and her truck. She feels doubly exhausted just thinking about it. 

Vivi glances at Mystery who is also staring into the fire. His expression borders on thoughtfull, lit faintly by the fire. A familiar etherial red light is diffused amongst his fur, barely noticeable alongside the organge glow of the flames. Does the red light mean that Mystery is casting his illusion to hide the fire? She is not sure.

“So what’s the deal with this spiritual residue, physical plane stuff you mentioned earlier? How does that tie into all that stuff about deals, oaths and whatnot?” There is a lot of folklore warning against making deals with supernatural creatures but she wants the actual facts behind it. With her constant vigil at the hospital and Mystery’s own efforts to spy on Milton’s downtown police department, she hasn’t had the opportunity to ask many questions. This is the first time she’s been alone with Mystery and not been distracted chasing around after leads and information related to Arthur’s possession. 

Mystery’s head swings around so he is looking right at her. His eyes are backlit by that same red light which shines out from behind his irises. The effect is made more intense by its association to that night outside Pepper Paradiso. It isn’t exactly the same- it is a lot less angry- but the small comparison makes her shiver. 

Mystery blinks, ears drooping, and looks off to the side. She wouldn’t think a giant, many tailed kitsune could look awkward but Mystery pulls it off. A sudden change in the wind interrupts her next question. Vivi gets a whiff of burning rubber and melting plastic in all it’s this horridness. Mystery also wrinkles his nose in discomfort. The sheer displeasure splashed across his face reminds her of similar expressions he’d make at his dog food. It is crazy to picture him eating dog food after seeing him like this, with his shimmering white fur, almost silver in the moonlight, tails cascading around him both taking up too much space while also taking no space at all. Not even the fancy, expensive dog food. 

/Perhaps we should move further up-wind?/ 

Vivi nods and they shuffle around as much as the enclosed space allows so the smell isn’t coming right at them. It takes her closer to Mystery but she’s happy to discover that it’s a discomfort she’s willing to bare to avoid the stench. Once they’ve found a slightly new location, Mystery speaks again. 

 /Your question is difficult to answer because none of these - spiritual residue, the physical plane or oaths- are simple. / 

“Well, try. Or at least give me the cliff-notes. Something I can actually do something with. Like, how much can I rely on all those stories, legends and myths I have memorised?”

Mystery considers her, eyes softer, red luminescence dimming to barely an ember as he thinks. / Human belief does hold some influence over how spiritual and magical energies manifest, as does any type of will or resolve. Resolve is what shapes these energies, allowing for us non-physical entities to manipulate reality around us. It is what gives oaths and promises their holding power./

 /What is a promise if not the ultimate statement of intention./

“So, it’s a ��humans believe in fairies so fairies exist’ type scenario?” That would be convenient if only because it would validate all the time she’d spend pouring over old myths and folktales. 

/Partially…/ Mystery’s tails twitch, encircling his paws, and he settles himself into a seated position, and Vivi gets the sense that Mystery is summarising and skipping over a lot of detail for her, / Get enough humans believing in the same story for a few hundred years and it will have tangible effects on the type of creatures that come into being. It will influences how the spiritual and non-physical function on this plane of existence, giving animation to what would otherwise be mindless energy. /

The explanation makes sense, in a way. Vivi frowns, mulling it over, following Mystery’s example and moving to the nearest rock with a semi-flat surface and sitting herself down. So far things were relatively straightforward. Supernatural creatures existed because of some non-physical, extradimensional energy which was shaped by will power. It both explained human religion and mythology, as well as the odd system of bargaining Mystery had walked her through already. Only things were never that simple, were they?

“You are the way you are because of myths and stuff?” Vivi speaks up and falters trying to think of a generic term for ‘supernatural creature,’ realising that Mystery hadn’t put a name to what he or any of them were outside of being partly spiritual, non-physical in nature, “But you said it was only partially true? Where does the partially come into all this?”

/Humans are far from the only creatures that have access to the resolve and will power needed to shape these energies. Stories told by humans are rarely completely accurate for a reason./ 

Well, that sounds super ominous and the way Mystery is watching her. like he is worried about something, isn’t helping. The fox exhales and his ears twitch. 

/If you wish it, we can discuss the matter at length another time. Many far wiser than I have dedicated centuries to understanding how creatures like myself come into being and what shapes our growth and development. For now, consider it context. /

“Context?” Is it just her or does Mystery seam doubly tentative now? His tails are shifting in an uncharacteristic display of outward emotion. 

/This plane, the physical plane, has its own structures and laws which shape it. Then there are creatures like myself that can alter these structures. Mostly, our influence is very limited, depending on our resolve and power which grow slowly with age and experience. Any alteration too drastic requires a lot of energy and may leave one in danger of fading to nothing./ Mystery lapses into a contemplative silence, attention drifting to the fire. The flames reflect in his eyes, so they dance and flicker a warm yellow which intermingles with the red. 

/Gods, deities, higher powers, humans have many names for them, but they do exist, and their resolve is beyond comprehension. More ideas and concept than anything else, their interference here comes in many forms. If one knows how and was willing to take an oath to act as acolytes to the physical plain, then there are a wide range boons available for beings like myself./

Mystery pauses as if to check she’s following the explanation. At this point, Vivi’s just taking everything in stride. Gods exist? Sure, why not. It’s not any crazier than all the other stuff Mystery’s said. What does have her worried is the uncomfortable feeling that Mystery is building up to some sort of unpleasant revelation. The fox looks and sounds dead serious and she gets the sense that he’s explaining something fundamentally important.

/Of course, when you have entities capable of granting abilities with the potential to unravel reality itself, there must be some structure to it otherwise there would be only chaos. A Natural Order exists to maintain balance. /

“Sooo…” She ends up having to prompt when Mystery’s silence stretches too long after the statement, “…you have some sort of supernatural code of conduct that stops you from messing up reality. Good to know.” Ever since Mystery dropped his dog persona, he has never expressed any hesitation when it came to outlining his own abilities.  Right now, he is looking very uncertain, almost like he regrets trying to explain this to her.

“Mystery?” She asks again, more insistent, because dammit if she’s going to let him clam-up when she’s finally getting some popper answers.

/ Your investigation, regarding the change in Arthur’s behaviour, I have a… theory… regarding what might have affected him. / Mystery turns back to her, expression serious, /I received a… vision of sorts. A warning... / 

Mystery exhales, /One tenant of this Natural Order that is rigorously reinforced is that none can interfere with the progression of time beyond the basic manipulations of time fields and alterations of the perhaps a minute or so, a hour at most. Even these small alternations require immense power and a direct connection to a deity within the correct domain. That or immense personal sacrifice. / 

“Time manipulation? That’s possible? Wait…” Vivi’s breath catches because she’s read enough science fiction literature to know that you didn’t just bring up time travel without it being relevant, “Who’s time travelled? Can you time travel?”

/No, I cannot. Not to this extent…Or I should not have been able too./ Several tails unfurl to sway in a slightly agitated pattern, /It is a discussion for another time, maybe. I am not the one who is to be suspected of time-travelling./

“Arthur? You’re saying Arthur time-travelled,” She feels like she should outright reject the implication for being too outlandish. What made time-travel any different from extra-dimensional gods or spiritual energy that was shaped by will-power? Vivi grips the edges of her jacket, clenching it tightly. For the second time that week, her whole world view shakes, reordering as a whole lot of floating pieces and facts finally start coming together into one coherent picture.

“The force behind Arthur’s odd behaviour change is because he time-travelled?”

/It is only a theory. The vision may have been incorrect or I might have misinterpreted it./

“He looks the same though. Wouldn’t he look…older or younger?” It couldn’t be younger because she knows younger Arthur and how terrible he was at lying…Or she hopes she does. Her mind spins as everything she’s worked to piece together over the past few days falls apart. All her theories, useless. Every plan, every detail, now askew.

/ It was implied that he may have travelled backwards from two years beyond our current time. As for appearance, human souls carry an imprint of all their memories and experiences. If one were to send a soul back in time any matching memories would synchronise and newer memories would sit alongside them./

“Okay, okay, say you’re right about the time travel. This is a good thing. It means Arthur was always Arthur, ah...excluding the one day when he wasn’t. The weird behaviour is because we’ve been interacting with an older Arthur.” 

Two years wasn’t a huge age gap. 

Maybe this, if it were true, was okay. How much could Arthur have possibly changed? Even as she tries to considers the possibility in a positive light, all she feels is apprehension. Before all this, she wouldn’t have thought much about the ramifications of time travel aside from the fact that it was cool. Alas, the shine that uncovering the unknown had once brought is dulled with worry. After having what felt like a lifetime of stress condensed into four days, she knows nothing about this stuff is simple. 

/I do not know whether this is good or bad for Arthur, only that such a desperate measure is never taken without dire cause. Divinities that deal in time and fate are incredibly powerful and notoriously unforgiving. I can only assume that whatever this current timeline replaced was worse than drawing ire of fate itself. /

Mystery confirms her fears. His tails finally settle and he exhales unhappily, and she mirrors him.

Warnings of impending doom not withstanding, Vivi tries to picture a future where the only option left for Arthur was to go back and do it all again. Nothing that comes to mind is pleasant. What’s more, it also throws new light onto all her recent interactions with Arthur and she is not sure she likes what any of it implies. Arthur had avoided interacting with them and had snuck off to buy medication alone. He’d had a panic attack, he hadn't had one of those in years. If that wasn’t the work of some demon-possessed asshole, then maybe it was normal behaviour for future-Arthur. Some of what the demon-bastard had said was making more sense now. The body snatcher was right, Arthur was ‘not quite himself’...in a manner of speaking. No wonder Arthur had seemed different, on that day several weeks ago, when she had caught him unawares outside his bathroom and, for a split second, his face had been strange. 

But, what could have  or caused the change. 

‘Flipped a switch on his personality’.  

Had something happened between Arthur and Lewis to cause Arthur’s standoffish, bordering of fearful behaviour? What had she done to make Arthur not feel comfortable coming to her for help?   She and Lewis would never hurt Arthur. Right?  

What could she do to fix something like this? 

How much could have possibly changed in two years? She thinks of Lewis, of Mystery biting into his arm, of blood spattering across the face, of blood on her hands, of blood on the ground. Both her friends dying while she’s sitting there useless. A lot...a lot could change and it didn’t need as long as two years to happen. She shakes her head and massages her temples, trying to rid herself of imagery and not to get drawn into thinking up a worse scenario.  s it bad that she preferred the scenario in which Arthur had been threatened into lying because he was being stalked by some crazy man in leather?  

“You said there’s a chance that you're wrong. How likely is that?” What was the accuracy rate for ‘visions’ anyway? Geez, she’s not even sure how to approach that one. 

/From what I have seen of Arthur, despite the impossibility of it all, I cannot rule it out completely. His soul is warped, his aura altered, far too powerful for a human, double what it should be. It could be a result of an older and younger soul merging or it could be the influence of some other force./ 

She lets out a long, tired breath, watching the fire begin to burn itself out. The cold begins to creep back in and the night seems just a dark as that night outside the diner even when lit by the full moon. Everything feels like it’s too much, too many problems tying themselves on knots.  Funnily, it’s the opposite problem of having too little information. She needs time to work through it all and put it in some sort of usable order. Supernatural creatures, gods, spiritual energy, souls, auras, visions, time travel, different planes of reality. She has so many questions about all of it that they’ve all melded together into a confusing mess.

“When Arthur wakes up, I’ll confirm the time travel thing. I’ll figure something out.” 

 /I will help. I noted a change in Arthur’s aura and did nothing to investigate. I regret it. As unpreceded and worrying as this situation is, I do not want my inaction to lead to further hurt./

Vivi doesn’t answer, opting to continue staring at the van. She’s tempted to let her mind wander and check out of this whole confusing mess. She doesn’t have the energy to reject Mystery’s reassurance like she’d been so adamant in doing over the last few days.

/I will admit, there is a lot I have yet to tell you…/ Mystery continues she feels the slight shift in the air as he tails begin to sway again, /Some of it involves circumstances I am not proud off, unrelated to what is happening now but maybe important for later. I require time to mull it over…I am not accustomed to making decisions so suddenly. It is a very human thing to do./

At least this apology acknowledges the fact that Mystery is still keeping secrets. It is better than a repeat of the ‘I wanted to keep you safe’ bullshit her dad had been spewing. It’s something. 

“I just don’t know where to start with this.” She looks to Mystery, trying to keep the strain from her voice. “If your theory is right, what do I say to Arthur?” Honestly, she hadn’t really thought about what she would say to Arthur if…when... he awoke aside from making sure he was okay. 

/Whatever you would normally say to offer a friend comfort. His time spent with that parasitic abomination was not kind from what I gathered during our brief interaction and it will have likely left some form of mark behind./

The assertion isn’t much really, but it is something. Mystery is right. She’ll focus on Arthur.  Whatever time-travelling disasters might have happened, this was still Arthur and that’s all that mattered in this moment. The bigger picture can wait. She wasn’t going to let the taunting of some bastard demon colour her view of potential-future-Arthur until she knew more. If Lewis were here he would know what to do, he was good at helping people. No. Lewis wasn’t here so she would do what she always did, approach the situation as rationally as possible and give Arthur emotional support whether he wanted it or not. It’s got them through problems in the past and its the only frame of reference she has. At least now she has something concrete to go on and plan around, even if it did suck. And, who knows, maybe Mystery’s theory was wrong. She yawns, now thoroughly mentally and physically exhausted. Maybe, she would fall asleep right here, sitting on this stone.

/We should begin our journey back to your vehicle. It is a significant walk and we should start if we intend to make it before sunrise./  Mystery intones, eyes tracking her as she sways from side to side. The fox stands, stretching his front paws, and she watches his tails fan out then settle.

“We can’t go yet the van is still burning.”

Before she’s even finished the objection the fire undulates, seaming to snuff out, collapsing in on itself. Mystery trots up to the remainder of the van, barely a metal shell now, nudging it with its shoulder. Slowly at first and then all at once, the van rolls over and into the ravine. There is a loud crash, followed by the screech of twisting and crunching metal. Vivi jumps at the sudden noise, standing in her alarm, sleep momentarily forgotten.

/Is this satisfactory?/

She blinks, then approaches the edge of the ravine, peering into it. The blackened, ruined van is at the bottom, warped on the rocks. “Yeah, I guess this is fine.”  Not like she had a better plan. No one would see it from the road when it was like this.

/Will you allow me to carry you. It will be significantly faster and allow you time to rest. /

“I…” She looks back over at Mystery, about to refuse outright and insist on walking the whole way under her own power. However, the way Mystery was dipping his head, ears back, head down, makes her hesitate. He is obviously trying to make himself look as unthreatening as possible. She pauses. It is a long way back and she is tired enough that the visions of looming shadows and blood aren’t so dominating without the backdrop of the diner to spur them on.

“Okay…yes. I think I’ll be alright with that.”

Instead of immediately trotting towards her, Mystery hesitates, watching and Vivi realises he’s waiting for her to make the first move. Wind blows through the ravine, whistling, taking the remainder of the burnt rubber smell and black smoke away with it. The space between them is clear and empty of obstruction. Carefully, inching along the ground to moves, stopping a step away. Mystery leans forward, closing the rest of the distance. She holds her breath as his jaws come near to her hand. There is the sensation of something wet against her palm.

Mystery’s nose is wet. He is sniffing her hand like he would have when pretending to be a dog. His many tails swish from side to side like he is attempting to mimic a wagging tail. The whole effect is somewhat ridiculous seeing as he has so many of them.  

Hesitant at first then with more confidence, she runs a hand across the fur forming the tuft at the side of his head. It is coarse but easily smoothed under her palm. She draws her hand down his neck. In the places where she touches red light particles jump into the air like dust motes, sticking to her hand before quickly fading. For a moment she smells freshly cooked rice, upturned earth, and fresh rain before that sensation fades as well. Oh...and she begins to understand what Mystery ment when he called himself non-physical. Impressions and sensation run down her arm, tickling her thoughts reminding her of when Mystery uses his thought-speech. The Kitsune feels both solid and transient. 

Mystery turns to the side, giving her easy access to his back, waiting patiently. She blinks the non-physical impressions away. More confident, she pulls herself up, gripping onto his fur, feeling his snout poke into her side to nudge her forward.

“I’m still angry at you, you know,” She affirms once she is comfortably situated and Mystery starts walking.  The anger and hurt of betrayal still curl tight in her chest, though they have loosened somewhat. 

/I understand. /  

Nodding once, she relaxes, letting herself rest for what feels like the first time in days.  She finds it oddly easy to balance and she ends up leaning forward against Mystery’s neck, finding comfort in the rock of his slightly uneven gate. Would this count as upholding the crappy agreement to sleep she had made earlier with Mystery?

“Why don’t more people know about all this stuff?” The question is soft, muffled by Mystery’s fur as she attempts to ward off her quickly returning fatigue. 

/Most manifestations of spiritual energy are subtle, indistinguishable from normal acts of nature. Fully realised creatures like myself are also rare and tend to keep to themselves. It is more common to come across formless entities such as spirits and yokai, and even they leave barely an indent on this plane…hard to notice when one does not know where to look.../ 

As Mystery talks, sound washing through her mind like a river, fatigue finally catching up with, taking her quickly into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

...

NOTE: THE EXPOSITION NIGHTMARE IS OVER!

And in the end Arthur never had to tell either of his friends about the time-travel. 

I have decided I hate  exposition writing, this thing took freakin forever and I’m still not sure it made complete sense. Should have explained some of this shit way earlier to make it easier on myself. Anyway, now I can finally shift the focus back to Arthur. 

I hope I made this interesting enough seeing as it was just Vivi and Mystery talking for 3000+ words. 

Part 42: here