Something Comforting - Sakura Haruka
It's a song fic! Actually I used two songs. If you're not caught up on the manga it has some light spoilers so read at your own risk!
It's sfw and it's angst/comfort/some third thing but it's 3am. Under the cut cause its 1500 words
Summary: Sakura's been having nightmares and his friends are concerned.
Quick note and I wont bother y'all till the end: The song lyrics are in bold and italics in case you're confused. The two songs are "Someone to stay" by Vancouver Sleep Clinic and "Something Comforting" by Porter Robinson
You were alone left out in the cold
Clinging to the ruin of your broken home
Sakura Haruka wasn't a stranger to be alone. Pretty much everything could be done without help if you try hard enough. If you struggle hard enough. If you don't have the expectation of help, that someone will come at just the right moment, getting things done begins to seem easier and easier. Why reach out when the answer will be no? Why spend time wondering why nothing is getting done, when you can do it on your own? There's no point relying on anyone when you're perfectly capable and have been for as long as you can remember.
But he came to Furin
And someone came at the right moment.
Sakura Haruka is not alone.
You've been fighting the memory, all on your own
Nothing washes, nothing grows
He sleeps through every class on Monday. No one really worries too much the first day. After all, they'd just had the fight with Noroshi and there isn't a body in Furin that's completely healed up yet. Once he sleeps past patrols every day for three days straight, Nirei starts to notice the dark circles under Sakura's eyes staying dark. Maybe even increasing in intensity. Speaking with Suo, they start to notice Sakura's not eating as much as he used to. They push here and there to make sure he eats something, but his heart isn't quite in it. The whole class begins to notice too.
"Sakura-san?" Nirei asks on their way to the cafe.
"Hmm?" He's watching the ground as he tries to stifle another yawn.
"Have you been having trouble sleeping?"
"...Not really." He's lying.
"Are you sure?" Suo presses, following up on the other side of him. "You drooled all over your math test earlier. It was stuck to your face for five minutes before you noticed." Nirei can tell he's trying to sound teasing, but there's no goading to his tone right now.
"Been waking up a few times. 's not a big deal." A yawn so big his next step is hindered and he's tripping on his own feet. Both boys nearly catch him, but he catches himself. "I'm fine." Sakura says shaking off some of his exhaustion.
Too lost and hurting to carry your load
We all need someone to hold
He's suffocating again. He thinks he is at least. The pain isn't right, but the lack of air is. Thrashing and grabbing for his throat, he is trying. To relieve the pressure. To choke out the words that come out in pathetic watery cries. I'll go with you. He can't get the words out. Everything is static and loud and he can only make out his inky black hair tendriling closer and swallowing him up in a gaping maw darkness.
The panic he feels upon waking is made worse by the urge to hurl the remains of what little dinner he's had. "Stupid." He whispers, wiping the sweat off his face he crawls to the bathroom and rests his head on the cold tile.
Cause getting made you want more
and hoping made you hurt more
oh there must be
something wrong with me
"Pardon the intrusion!" Suo calls in as Sakura is mid-bite in his convenience store noodles.
"You sure this place ain't haunted? Lookin' real haunted right now..." a loud, spooked voice belonging to Tsugeura follows as he clings behind Suo.
"Sakura- ah he's already eating! We brought food from Kotoha's too though if you're hungry after." Nirei pops his head in and drags a bunch of bags towards the kitchen.
"Pretty minimalist huh, Sakura-chan?" Kiryu whistles while checking out the bare apartment. It's matter-of-fact rather than an insult, not that Sakura cares. A grunt comes from Sugishita at the end of the line looking nonplussed. Sakura isn't sure whether he should get up and do something or chase them out. He's never had this many people in his apartment and it's crowded even more by the luggage they're all toting with them.
"Did all ya get kicked outta yer houses or somethin'?" He asks mouth still full.
"Ah not quite!" Nirei takes the lead to explain. "We wanted to have a sleepover to celebrate...I guess...if that's alright with you..." he trails off losing some of his initial enthusiasm when Sakura's bewildered expression doesn't change.
"Right and we figured your place is the best choice," Kiryu begins setting up a rolled sleeping bag in the corner. "You are our grade captain after all." Suo has taken to the kitchen, filling it with various things from both Cafe Pothos and extra food the locals handed them on the way there. Sugishita sets a potted plant on the counter with only a "Kalanchoe" before he points to the care card stuck in the dirt.
"Uh, bless you?"
"Umemiya-san sent it. Said it's real easy to take care of," Tsugeura says plopping on the floor, legs crisscrossed as he opens a protein drink. Sakura would normally refuse and argue with them on the various fluttering around they're doing in his apartment but the energy just wasn't there. He continues eating, humming or using short, one-word answers to the variety of questions each person throws his way. His space has been claimed completely by his friends and by the end of the night, they've taken up every inch of floor space. Once the lights are out, there's a faint glow of blue from the corner where Nirei's installed a small nightlight he insisted he needed to have when sleeping. Next to that was a small white noise machine Kiryu plugged in although he himself was curled up with headphones in.
Sakura curls up on his futon to when he feels his head his something softer than normal. A double take confirms there's a pillow where his head should be and he drags his eyes around trying to figure out which one of his friends misplaced it.
"I think it's an extra. Use it since everyone else has one." Suo whispers from above where Sakura's head is before closing his eyes again. It's flatter than a normal pillow. Do they even make them like this? Sakura isn't sure it's normal but he can't really find a place to put it with four other boys spread out around the room. Sugishita to his right and Nirei to his left, while Kiryu and Tusgeura are stacked somewhere on the other side of sugishita. So he settles on it and listens to the weird but kind of alright music coming out of Kiryu's machine.
And getting made you want more
And hoping made you hurt more
Someone tell me
Something comforting
He's drowning this time, before he jolts up in the futon. Instead of darkness, the light shows everyone around him soundly knocked out and he takes a steady breath before laying back in bed. The machine is still making noise with something like waves going in the background now. He feels two soft thumps on his back where Sugishita is set up. He hears him pick up his head and gravels out a "You're good." Not a question, and another thump as Sugishita's head hits the floor again. Sakura becomes acutely aware that Suo's head is closer to the top of his pillow, now to the point where his hair brushes near his own head. Nirei is also closer than before and has been gripping Sakura's shirt as he's curled up.
Despite his heavy breathing earlier, it's actually easier to breathe once he takes into account the bodies around him. He slows his breathing to match someone else's though he doesn't pay attention to whose, and his eyes are being pulled shut again, his body desparate for sleep. For the first time in more than a week, Sakura sleeps deeply through the rest of the night.
By the time everyone wakes up and files out after breakfast, there are a few things left behind that Sakura's not sure what to do with. He reads the care card for the plant and shoots Kotoha a couple questions on the specifics. No one in the group chat ever claims the pillow he used, or the shampoo and conditioner he finds unopened in the shower. The nightlight and white noise machine were left with both Nirei and Kiryu saying they have seconds at home and to keep it there for next time they sleep over. The same sentiment comes from Tsugeura about the set of small hand weights Sakura's been making sure not to trip over in the mornings.
His apartment starts to look more and more full as it becomes a place where small parties and gatherings are held. Whether gifted or left accidentally", he usually has something new to move around the next day. Sakura isn't sure when, but at some point someone hung up curtains when he wasn't looking despite knowing for a fact it would've been a half an hour job at least.
Sakura Haruka is not alone.
He's pretty okay with that too.
_______________
So sorry if there are typos im so tired and spent long enough just making sure the format was decent enough. Also I've never written this many words all at once before so that's cool! Some writing notes if anyone's interested!!
Kalanchoe's name apparently comes from a latinized corruption of the chinese Kalan Chau for "that which falls and grows" which i thought sounded cool to put in! It also symbolizes endurance and persistence (as well as affection and love but like...every flower/plant is like that usually it just depends on which flower language you're going off of.)
Sugishita was the one who left hair stuff in the bathroom after finding out Sakura only uses like...a bar of soap or a 3-in-1 to wash his hair. Like an animal or something ಠ_ಠ
Kotoha put the curtains up with Umemiya while everyone dragged Sakura to the convenience store for snacks one day. It actually took three days for him to notice.
Suo ends up bringing a teapot and leaves to leave(lol) at Sakura's because he's not using regular tea bags every time he comes over smh
I think both Kiryu and Nirei bring plushies over and "forget" them every time. They both also eventually put up pictures they either took on their phones or got at photo booths. Absolute mad lads at scrap booking and cork boarding
Also ive never done a song fic kinda thing before? i used to hate reading them and now look how the turntables. It's 3:39am goodnight!
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holy fuck, this gives the zenin so much more lore than what we got in the manga. like the potential is right there to have this great inter-clan generational dispute and cold war but gege just breezes past it and then gets rid of it completely.
with all this cool new shut we’re getting about them, im almost glad that megumi was born a boy. like could you imagine just how much worse the zenin would have been to him if he was a girl? they already have the whole misogyny thing going for them and then their version of jesus pops up and it turns out that it’s a girl who wields their prized technique?
god, i can’t imagine just how much more controlling they would be towards megs, although im still not sure if the whole training until ur bones fall off would still happen. i feel like naoya would be different towards megs but we also know that the zenin are totally okay with incest so i hate where that would go.
It would have been bad.
See, I think the entire training until your bones fall off thing would still happen, but there would be an added layer of cruelty towards it. Because megumi was a little boy who was being trained in a way that even adults couldn’t have handled, so of course he spent a lot of time getting hit and a lot of time crumpling under the pressure and exhaustion. There are very, very few instances where he remembers actually leaving the training room on his own two feet. He usually was pushed until he collapsed and woke up later in the room they kept for him. But if he was a little girl in the same circumstances? They’d make every “failing” about her sex. They’d blame her being a girl for it and constantly use it as a source of sneering superiority.
It would also be bad because she would very much be seen as a source of descendants. Boy Megumi wouldn’t necessarily be exempt from that, but it would happen sooner for girl Megumi.
Bloodline is very important to the Zenin. Inheriting power, techniques—they want to continue the flow of power through the generations. And most of the Zenin clan (and the wider jujutsu world) believe that Megumi is the most powerful Zenin alive right now, if not Gojo’s equal, and the only reason why hes being graded as a Grade Two sorcerer is because gojo’s purposefully sabotaging his development. Like. Mindset is a huge amount of jujutsu ability. Yuuta went from getting beaten up by normal high schoolers to having some combat ability but needing inumaki to handle a semi grade one to being the second most powerful person alive in the span of a few months. He absolutely blitzed the previous second most powerful person alive when he would have lost that same fight a few hours previous. There’s a lot of people convinced Megumi’s on Gojo’s level but he’s been keeping him on a leash since childhood. But the powers still there in his blood.
That’s power the Zenin want to pass on, regardless of gender. But as a boy, Megumi’s got a little bit more leeway—men are accepted as warriors first in the clan, and age won’t affect his ability to procreate. If megumi was a girl? She’s got that goddamn biological clock ticking down. As the ten shadows, I think the Zenin would still expect her as a warrior, but they’d also have a fucking quota she needs to fill before the clock hits zero. And they’d have some very proprietary concerns about making sure no one outside of the clan has a chance to become involved with her. They’d want her to stay within the clan with her partners. And they’d be absolutely creepy and weird about how they went about it. It’s a little bit of a mercy that Megumi’s a boy.
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