#I BROKE MY ART BLOCK!!!! (lies)

[lyacinthus]

blep :b

[traveler-at-heart]

Doctor's In - Chapter 7

Summary: You struggle to relax as you recover from an injury.

Wanda Maximoff x F!R

This chapter contains some badly written smut

Wanda is enjoying this far more than you. Having you home 24/7 seems like a luxury that won’t last long and she’s relishing every second of it.

You, on the other hand, are acting like a caged lion, restless and always looking for ways to pass time, though options are limited with your healing shoulder and bruised body.

This morning, you opted for a stroll while Wanda worked on some sketches. The woman has to do a double take when she’s on a coffee break, because it’s been 40 minutes since you left. And there’s only so much walking a person can do in this neighbourhood.

The answer lies a few houses down the block. Wanda’s walking and looking for you when she spots you in the porch of Agatha’s home. Mrs. Hart and Dottie are there as well, cups of tea and biscuits in a table.

You’re taking Mrs. Hart blood pressure, while she keeps talking about her latest medical appointment.

“Sweetheart” Wanda calls for you. “I need your help in the kitchen”

“Oh, Wanda, I’m so sorry. Y/N here was just walking by and we got talking. She’s so brave for saving that man’s life” Agatha places her hand in your bicep, slightly hoping it annoys Wanda.

“Yes, she is. But now she needs to rest”

“Ladies” you greet, standing up and sighing as you go down the steps. “Sorry” you mutter to Wanda.

“No need to apologize” she stands on her toes to peck your lips. You smile, taking her hand as you both walk back home.

“Next time you’re around I’ll need a physical exam, Doc” Agatha calls and Wanda is about to turn and tell her off when you pull her.

“Nu-uh. Let’s go” you say, sincerely afraid of Harkness.

Wanda remains silent for the rest of the walk and you think she might be upset. That is, until you close the door behind you and are abruptly pushed against it, Wanda’s hand pulling down on your shirt possesively.

“Do I need to tie you up?”

“I wouldn’t mind”

“That’s not what I meant”

“But, baby…”

“You’re still recovering” she warns, but you can tell she is considering it.

“My mouth is fine”  you whine as her lips approach yours. “Please, I have all this pent up energy, and I need some release”

“Is that what you need? Release?”

“Mhm” you nod, your nose bumping against hers.

“Fine” she finally kisses you, and it turns frantic. Wanda starts leading you upstairs, but you shake your head no, going for the couch instead. With the hand that isn’t in the arm sling, you tug at her yoga pants and she slips them down her beautiful legs, panties following suit.

“Come on, here’s your seat” you say, laying down on the couch. Wanda lowers herself, and almost screams when she feels your tongue working quickly around her bundle of nerves.

Without thinking, you suck harder and let your teeth graze her clit, but the feeling of pleasure is so unexpected that Wanda’s legs close around your neck, her knee digging in your bad shoulder.

“Ow, time out” you plead, pain shooting down your arm.

“I’m sorry, I…” Wanda pushes the hair out of her face, looking at you worriedly. “Are you ok? Should we go to the hospital?”

“I’m fine. No need to go and ruin Darcy’s day with the details of our sexcapades, my love”

“You sure?”

“Yes, come here” you ask, and she hesitates, until you pull her down to lie next to you on her couch. Realising she’s naked from the waist down, your hand travels to her ass, looking to squeeze the soft flesh.

“Stop” she warns with her mom voice. “You’re gonna hurt yourself. I thought I broke your neck a second ago”

“What a way to go” you joke, smiling as Wanda laughs against you.

—

Billy writes down in his notebook and you squint your eyes. Fractions are horrible, and how you wish you were helping Tommy with his art project instead.

So, you check the exercise again and sigh.

“I think that’s right, kiddo”

“You sure?”

How bad would it be to say “not at all”? You figure it wouldn’t be wise considering you’re the adult in the room, so you rub your eyes instead.

“I’ll check again after dinner, ok?” you promise, Wanda telling them to go wash their hands.

Going down the stairs, you find your girlfriend in the kitchen. She’s made an effort to cook anything you’re craving, and tonight’s feast is roast beef with potatoes.

“Delicious” you comment, pulling her so she’s pressing against your front.

“Thank you, I think you’ll like it”

“Wasn’t talking about the food” you pull her hair to the side, clearing the path to litter her neck with open mouthed kisses. “I’m not giving up on this even after what happened earlier”

“You mean how I almost broke your neck?”

“Almost being the key word, baby”

The protest dies in her lips as the kids join you in the kitchen. They set the table for the four of you, doing everything they can to keep you from hurting yourself.

Even as Wanda insists on slicing your portion, you drop the armsling, because you’re very picky about the way you cut your meat.

“Childish” she mutters under her breath and you glare, but smile the same.

Dinner is the usual stuff about classes, the upcoming school trip and how Billy thinks you’re so good with fractions.

They’re in the process of getting ready for bed when you Google the answers to the math exercises, and you’re only wrong twice.

Oh, well.

Once the kids are tucked in, you go back downstairs to clean up, Wanda following suit.

“Please let me”

“Come on, I gotta do something around the house”

“You already helped with Billy’s homework”

“Oh, that. I can’t wait for them to start doing square roots so I’m banging my head against the table”

Wanda laughs at that, settling on the countertop as you wash dishes.

“Yeah, I guess you missed the time where homework was easy. Like coloring, or learning vowels”

“Sounds better than fractions” you recognise.

“Don’t be long” Wanda asks, kissing your cheek and going upstairs.

Your shoulders drop a little, and you eye the armsling, but you’re tired of it and feel like it does more harm than good. Leaving it downstairs, you walk up to find your girlfriend preparing a bath.

“Might help relax” she says, and truthfully, you do feel a lot better when she’s taking off your clothes, hands delicately going over your skin. As she walks behind you to place a small kiss in your shoulder blade, her hands stops in a spot you’re always trying to hide.

“What happened to you?”

“Car accident” you say, not in the mood to delve deeper. Turning in her embrace, you unbutton her shirt, kissing down the valley of her breasts. Next are her pants, and you look up with a smile, helping her step out of them.

You sit in the bathtub, letting Wanda rest between your legs. Your hand goes up and down her arm, but your mind is elsewhere.

Especifically, in the pain that hasn’t stopped.

What if it’s something serious? What if you need surgery? And can’t do your job ever again?

It’s all you have, it’s who you are. You don’t know yourself outside of an OR, outside of grueling shifts and hospital walls.

“Can I ask you something?” Wanda interrupts your spiraling thoughts.

“I do think you’re the most beautiful woman on the planet” you say, kissing the spot between her neck and shoulder.

“No, it’s… uh” she hesitates, looking at her hands. “Did you ever think about having children of your own?”

“Oh” you say, frowning. “I don’t know, honestly. I guess all I ever figured out was what I wanted to be, you know? And it’s so demanding that I never thought I’d be a good mother”

“I just… talking about those early years. I love my kids but I don’t know if I’d do it again, start over with a new baby”

“I’m not holding my breath for that, sweetheart” you promise, kissing her temple. “And I’m a workaholic so it wouldn’t be fair to put you through it so you’re alone for a big part of the time”

“Are you sure? If it’s something you want, I can…” she turns around in your embrace, the water splasing a little. “I can try, maybe it’ll be nice”

“I love the way things are” you promise her, looking distractedly at her breasts. “Especially right now. Can you sit closer so I can pay attention to those two?”

“You’re incorrigible” she laughs, her hands going around your neck.

“And yet, you love it”

—

It was hard to sleep with the shooting pain down your arm, but you refused to take anything for it.

By the time you got some rest it was almost 4 AM, so you completely missed breakfast and driving the kids to school.

Probably for the best, since you’re in a foul mood.

“Hey, I have a meeting with Laura. Wanna come with?” Wanda says when you walk downstairs, changed into jeans and a t-shirt.

“Can you drop me off at the hospital?”

“Sweetheart, I know it’s driving you insane but you can’t go to work right now”

“It’s not… that” you say, struggling with your words. You’re so used to solving everything on your own, it’s hard to share that you have any discomfort.

When you were younger, it added to your mother’s stress because she had other things to deal with, so it only made everything worse at home.

“Are you ok?” Wanda asks softly, finally noticing the bags under your eyes.

“I’m just in pain and would like to check everything’s fine”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We should have gone to the hospital as soon as…”

“Wands” you say, overwhelmed at how much she cares. You pull her close, kissing her softly, and she melts against your lips. “It’s nothing serious, promise”

“Ok. Let’s get going, then”

She insists on going with you, but the meeting with Laura is happening, so you just convince her to pick you up as soon as it’s over.

Greeting the people at the front desk, you walk to the staff area, looking for any familiar faces. It’s empty, so the next place is the ER. The sound and rustling make you nostalgic, and there’s gotta be something really wrong with you, because it’s been five days only.

“Can I help you?” Darcy says behind you.

“Looking for a leprechaun”

“I have not missed you” she remarks, and you wanna say something back, but then you notice your ER board.

“Uh, what the hell did you do to my board?”

“It’s color coded!”

“This is an ER! Not arts and crafts, Lewis” you say, feeling like your heart is breaking at the sight.

“Fury likes it”

“Fury can go to… oh, hello, sir” you say, and he glares at you.

“You’re supposed to be resting”

“I have some pain… wanted to check with Carol if everything’s ok”

“Danvers is in the middle of surgery. Will be an hour or so before she’s free” he explains. “How bad is it?”

“A four, maybe” you lie, and he still looks concerned, because in all the years you’ve worked here, you never get sick or complain if you have anything bothering you.

“Get a CT, I’ll go tell her you’re here” he instructs, patting your good shoulder.

Darcy walks with you to get the CT, and once you’re done you both go to the cafeteria.

“Hey, you didn’t bring any cookies” Darcy complains as you pick up a muffin.

“Wasn’t planning on stopping by”

“How’s domestic life? You ready to retire?”

“It’s fine” you say with a smile, but as always, she can see through the bullshit.

“You look miserable. So, you’re either in a lot of pain or there’s something else”

“I just… feel bad that I don’t know how to rest. You know? I’m a workaholic, and Wanda knows it, but it used to be nice to get breaks and spend time with her and the kids. And now, I should just be relaxing and enjoying this time off but I’m so restless. And I wonder if I’m good for them. If I’ll enjoy going on holidays and spending a few days without work or I’ll promise to be there for something and then let work get in the way”

“Ok, first of all. Every surgeon is a workaholic, you know it. This was the only way we could survive and get as far as we did. But you’re acting as if you’re on an indefinite break. Your CT looks fine. In a week you’ll be back”

“Right. It was just so unexpected…”

“You’ve been working less, haven’t you? Spending more time with Wanda and her kids. That’s a major change. So don’t worry about still loving your job and wanting to do it. It’s who you are. And if Wanda loves you she’ll understand”

"Well, good thing she seems to be done having kids, too” you scratch your neck, thinking about last night’s conversation.

“I thought you wanted kids” your friend frowns.

“I never made up my mind… but if she says she’s done, it’s done”

“Interesting…” Darcy holds her chin, examining you. “I do remember you having baby fever when you did your Peeds rounds”

“Ages ago” you insist, smiling. You were good and you almost decided to focus in that area. But Trauma was always where your passion was.

Darcy’s pager beeps and you look at her with some jealousy, wishing you had somewhere to be.

“Gotta go. Danvers should be done soon. Chill, watch some tv, you’ll be back in no time”

“Thanks, mate. And I know, I’ll ask Wanda for some cookies”

You look around the cafeteria, and then wander the hallways. There are a few people in the ER, sitting and waiting for someone to call their names. Without knowing a thing about Darcy’s system, you pick up a file and say a name out loud.

The little guilt you feel at working when you’re clearly not supposed to is quickly forgotten as you help several people, looking at their X-Rays and writing prescriptions, the armsling tossed away.

That is, until you hear someone calling you across the room.

“Y/N Y/L/N” Wanda hisses. “What do you think you’re doing?”

You squeal, hiding behind a curtain. She pulls it and grabs the file from your hands.

“Did Doctor Danvers see you yet?

“She was in surgery and I was bored!” you complain like a little child.

“We’re finding her and then going home”

Doing all but pulling you by the ear, Wanda drags you around the front desk and asks for Carol, the nurses hiding a smile as you remain in the background, silent.

They tell Wanda that Carol will be in a few minutes, and you wait in one of the examination rooms, you sitting in the bed dangling your feet while Wanda answers an email from Laura.

“How did the meeting go?” you try to make ammends.

“Fine”

“Mmm” you nod, thinking it might be better to drop it.

It only gets worse when Carol walks in, thinking you’re the only one in the room.

“How’s it going, Princess?”

Wanda clears her throat, glaring at the blonde and you want to crawl in a hole and die. Not this again.

“Hey, Wanda. Didn’t see you there” she starts speaking in a rush. “What’s the matter? CT looks fine. Except for that horrible surgery they did on you”

“It was twenty years ago, Danvers” you roll your eyes, avoiding Wanda’s inquisitive stare.

“Ok, take your shirt off. O-or not, don’t” she says when Wanda glares.

“Make up your damn mind” you complain, oblivious to everything.

Wanda stands up, looking you in the eye. She smiles, taking your shirt in her hands and pulling it up. Might as well fucked you right then and there, with the way she looks at you.

Maybe it’s not so bad that she’s jealous of Carol.

“There” she says, and all you can do is focus on her lips. She stands back, sitting on the couch and waiting for Carol to examine you.

“The pain has been recurring, right? What changed?”

“It’s more persistent and intense”

“Have you been taking painkillers? Anything else?”

“Nothing, Doc”

Carol sighs.

“We really are the worst patients” she grumbles. “You have nerve damage, we knew that already. The armsling might be making it worse. Use this instead”

She passes a brace that supports your shoulder and allows you to move freely.

“Wooho, this one is way cooler!”

“Wanda, can you make sure she takes these meds? It will help with the swelling” Carol turns to you. “If you rest properly, you can go back to work in ten days”

“Ten days? I want a second opinion”

“A second opinion would be to try surgery and fix that nerve” she says, knowing Stark would agree.

“Fine. Meds and rest” you grumble, putting on the brace.

“One last thing” Carol says and you’re about to ask what is it when she blind sides you, inyecting something on your muscle.

“That’s low even for you” you complain, feeling the burn.

“That will relax you for a few hours, pal”

“Mmm. Thanks, Carol”

“Anytime. Bye, Wanda”

Your girlfriend thanks her, taking your hand and walking you to the exit, hoping you’ll finally get some rest.

“Who did this?” Darcy fumes from the ER and you rush, dragging Wanda.

“Run, now”

For the second time in the day, someone calls you by your full name, this time sounding less forgiving.

“You messed up the system!” Darcy says, watching you run like a coward. “You’re dead to me”

Wanda laughs at that, and you smile, hoping her mood has improved ever since she caught you working.

“Want anything special for lunch?” Wanda asks as she drives back home and you can’t really think of anything.

“Cuddles and a nap with my beautiful girlfriend” you say, feeling the medicine relaxing you. “Damn it, Carol probably gave me a horse tranquilizer”

“That’s what you get for being so stubborn”

“I am not stubborn” you insist, proving her point.

By the time you’re home, your feet feel heavy. Wanda almost has to carry you to the bedroom, where you plop down.

You feel her taking off your shoes and you honestly try to sit up and help, but Carol really outdid herself with whatever it is she gave you.

Lucky she’s a doctor and not a dealer.

“Wands” you mutter.

“Shh, I’m here. Get some rest”

—

Your mouth feels dry, limbs heavy. Like a hangover, but without the fun part.

“M’gonna kill Carol” you sigh, rubbing your eyes. Wanda’s laugh by your side makes you turn and you smile. “Hey, gorgeous”

“Feeling relaxed?”

“Very. I’m just thirsty”

As if she was a mind reader, Wanda nods towards the nighstand next to your side of the bed, where a glass of water is waiting for you.

“You’re so perfect” you say once you gulp it down, breathing and stretching. “Where are the kids?”

“Soccer practice.”

“Oh, sorry about falling asleep. We could have been watching a movie or something” you try to sit up, but Wanda pulls you down, scooting closer to you.

“I just want you to rest”

“I’m not gonna break if I do other stuff”

She doesn’t answer and you lie down, looking at her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry” is all she says and you frown. “For everything that happened with Steve”

“You already apologized. It’s in the past”

“I just want to give you everything, and take care of you. I wish I knew how to make you feel better when you’re in pain”

“You’ve been cooking and helping me do everything for the past week, love”

“Anyone could do that”

“No, you’re the only person who could make it all better by just being here” you say, your hand moving the hair out of her eyes. “I’m damn lucky to have you on my side, Wands”

“I… can I ask about the accident? I feel like I know bits and pieces. Though if it’s too painful”

“I was with my Dad” you say, sighing. “Someone else ran a red light and crashed into us. He didn’t make it. It’s just… there’s no point in dwelling on it. It happened, and no amount of grieving can change it. So I don’t”

“Ok”

“I’m not the best person to be with” you admit. “I’m very much addicted to my job, I don’t have a family that is worth talking about. It’s just me, and whatever happens that day in the ER. Maybe that’s why I struggle with being away from the job. There’s nothing else besides that”

“It’s not just you, not anymore. You have us” Wanda promises, kissing your hand. You smile, nodding.

“I know. I love you”

“Love you too.”

—

You finally found some things to do. Wanda would give you drafts to read, surprised at how good your literary insights were.

“Laura might have competition” she joked once.

As for other forms of entertainment, you were currently picking up on your Project Runway obsession even though you were just rewatching season 8, arguably one of the most dramatic ones.

The arm was a lot better and the pain subsided, which was great news. On the other hand, Carol would never shut up about being the best Ortho surgeon in the whole country.

Still, there was one thing you were hoping to do, taking advantage of all the hours you had alone with Wanda.

Thinking it would be better to just catch her off guard, you were in bed, reading another one of her drafts when she came by the room, stretchig her back.

“Tired, my love?” you say with a sympathetic smile.

“A tiny bit. I was thinking we could get pizza tonight? I’m not in the mood for cooking”

“I’m paying for it”

“You’re paying for groceries and everything else these days” she protests.

“What can I tell you? I like to spoil my girl”

Wanda blushes at that, straddling your lap and leanig down to kiss you. You smile, eager to feel her lips on yours, but also, anticipating her reaction as she feels what’s hidden in your pants.

The way she gasps against your mouth sends a shiver down your spine.

“What are you…?”

Your good arm wraps around her waist, making her rub against the strap on.

“A surprise for you” you say, your nose against her neck, leaving open mouthed kisses. “Unless you don’t want to try it. We can just forget about it”

“No, I- but your arm”

“Well, you could be a good girl and ride my dick” you half joke, not expecting the words to have such an impact on her. Before you can react, she’s reaching down between your bodies.

“I wanna see you” she asks, out of breath. You let her pull your pants down, revealing the harness briefs you’re wearing and the plastic cock attached to them.

“What do you think?” you say, one of your thumbs traveling to her mouth, and she eagerly accepts the intrusion, sucking on your finger. She bites it as you pull out, pupils dilated.

Operating on her desires, Wanda moves down your body, until she’s eye level with the strap. Even though you can’t feel it, the sight of her tongue darting out to lick the tip makes your hips buck, pushing inside without a warning.

But she’s a good girl, and takes it all with enthusiasm, her hands on your hips as you fuck her mouth. The friction against your clit makes your breath quicken, and aware that Wanda’s gagging, you stop moving, pulling her away by the hair.

“Show me how good you can take it, baby” you say, smiling. Wanda doesn’t waste any time, discarding her own pants and placing both hands on the side of your face.

You move your hips up a couple of times, teasing her entrance, until you pull her hips down, and you have to look down, admiring the way her hole swallows every inch, Wanda’s face contorted by pleasure.

Once you bottom out, you give her a few seconds to adjust, and only move when she rocks forward, moaning at the way it feels to be so full.

“Look at you, made to take my cock. Fits so fucking perfectly inside that tight cunt” you taunt, squeezing her neck.

Wanda clenches as you choke her, overwhelmed by all the pleasure she’s feeling.

“Come on, fuck yourself on my dick” you challenge, and she begins moving, slow at first, and then faster, her hips finding a rhytm as you let go of her neck, hand going down to pinch her nipples.

The touch catches her off guard, and she somehow changes positions in your lap, the strap going deeper and hitting just the right spot.

“Oh, God…” she mutters, losing herself in the feeling of being full, riding you as your hands roam around every inch of her beautiful body. “I’m close, please”

“Please, what?”

“Please, make me come” she stutters, her hips moving erratically as she approaches her climax. You let your hand travel down, and as you play with Wanda’s clit, the woman lets out a moan, juices spilling down her legs and between your bodies.

Wanda collapses on top of you, breathing heavily. You wait until she calms down to pull out, trying to do it without hurting her.

“Stay inside” she pleads, and the desperation in her words makes you want to fuck her again.

“You did so good, baby” you smile against her temple. “Just relax, I got you”

—-

You had created a horny, hot, insatiable being.

Whenever you were alone in the house, you were usually packing because Wanda would just barge into the room, kiss you like she was running out of time, and then would just push her underwear aside, moaning and panting until she was satisfied. She went at it two or three times each day, even at night though you had to be quiet to not wake up the twins.

How you loved being used for her pleasure, and watch as she was all disheveled when she came, breathing against your neck and repeating how much she loved you and how much she needed you.

Once, you are almost caught by Agatha. This time, you initiate it, approaching Wanda as she makes lunch in the kitchen. Your arm snakes around her middle, hand going up and down until you pinch her nipple through the fabric of her t-shirt. When Wanda arches her back, her ass rubs against the strap, and she moans, allowing you to take her from behind.

“Look at you, taking me so fucking well” you say, spanking her. She moans against her arm, enjoying the new angle and the way your hands grab handfuls of her ass, the soft flesh turning red.

 In that precise moment, there’s a knock at the door. You turn at the same time, and while Wanda seems to be trying to gather her thoughts, you keep pushing inside of her.

“Wanda, are you home?” Agatha says.

“Go on, answer her. Tell her you’re getting fucked from behind, baby” you taunt, determined to make her come.

“If she sees us…”

“Better hurry then” you mutter, hips moving faster until you feel Wanda’s legs shake, hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming.

You pull out, and force Wanda on her knees. She can’t stand up, as Agatha looks through the window, waving at you. The lower half of your body is hidden by the countertop.

“Do you have any eggs I can borrow?”

“We’re out of those” you lie, moving your hips forward until Wanda gets the hint and licks the strap clean. “I’m going to the store later today, I’ll get some extra for you”

“You’re such a dear. Is Wanda working?”

“Oh, yes. She’s hard at work” you say, smiling.

“If you ever feel lonely, come by and visit me, dear” the woman winks, turning to leave. You keep Wanda in place, fucking her mouth until the pressure on your clit makes you get some release.

“I’m not done with you” you say, pulling her up. “It’s a damn shame you couldn’t be as loud as you wanted before”

Wanda looks confused, or maybe it’s the orgasm she just had. Either way, you guide her upstairs, and she quickly gets on all fours, ass up in the air again.

“Better be screaming my name when I’m done with you”

Of course she did. And you’re pretty sure those screams could be heard all the way to Agatha’s house.

—

“I’m gonna be late for work” you say, not really caring. Wanda’s on your lap, grinding against you. There’s nothing under your scrubs today, because, well, it would be awkward to work while packing all day.

Who knew you’d end up wanting more free time, and all because Wanda can’t go five minutes without getting fucked.

“I’m gonna miss you” she whines, biting down on your earlobe and you moan.

“Baby, you’re not playing fair”

Maybe calling in sick won’t be such a bad idea. Your colleagues will understand. It’s not like they’ve been covering for you for two weeks.

Right.

“I have to go” you sigh against her lips, searching her eyes. You hope she can understand.

“I know, I’m sorry”

Wanda smiles and the way she runs her hands down your cheeks melts your heart.

“I love you. Thank you for helping me heal these past weeks. And I’m sorry for being so difficult at times, my love. I’ll make it up to you”

“I love you too” she smiles, leaning her forehead against yours.

With that, you get ready to drive to the hospital. You’re still wearing the brace Carol gave you, more as a precaution. Wanda also gives you a whole batch of cookies and you suspect Darcy will steal most of it.

You say goodbye at the front door, promising to call her when you have time.

“Welcome back, doctor Y/L/N”

Kate Bishop is the first to greet you, waiting in the ER.

“Thank you, Kate. Did I miss anything big these past few days?”

While you go over some files, she makes the rounds on patients that have been here for the past days and are getting discharged soon.

You go back to the ER to review paperwork and she sticks around, which seems weird.

“Shouldn’t you be around the halls to see if you can scrub in on something?”

“Uh…”

“Look, if they told you to babysit me, don’t worry about it. I can handle this alone”

“That’s not… remember how I hadn’t made up my mind about a specialty? Well, I did. I want to be a Trauma surgeon” she smiles, hoping you’re happy about it.

“Wow! Congrats, Bishop” you can’t help but bring her in for a hug. “Everyone else had their student, but me”

“Well, you have yours now. I can’t wait to learn, Sir. Ma’am. Doctor” Kate stumbles with her words and you pat her back.

That very second, two people walk in, screaming something about their Halloween decoration and a freak accident.

“Let the lessons begin, kid”

And so, you spend the better part of the shift stabilizing a patient and working with Stark to stop a brain bleeding from a falling pumpkin.

“It’s that time of year again” he says, and you sigh.

“What is?” Peter looks around the table.

“You wouldn’t believe the amount of freak accidents when holidays are around” Stark says. “Well, Dr. Y/L/N knows better than me, she’s the one treating everything”

“Cuts while carving pumpkins, blazing Jack-O-Lanterns, food allergies for kids”

“Tripping with their too long ghost costumes” Stark adds. “Learn that the hard way with Morgan”

“Gotta warn Wanda about that” you grimace.

“Ah, yes, the missus” Stark says, and you can’t see a lot of his face but you can tell by his tone that he is ready to tease you.

“Careful, Doctor Stark”

“I’m just saying, everyone thinks it’s cute. Morgan loves her and their art lessons too. Plus, it’s nice to see a doctor dating someone outside of the hospital. I’m so done with all the hook ups, it’s nearly impossible to find an on call room to rest”

“You own the hospital, can’t you do something about the rooms?”

“Not without causing a meltdown for HR” he says and you both chuckle.

“It is nice to be with someone who thinks you’re crazy for wanting to be working for two straight days. Gives you perspective”

“Precisely” Stark agrees. “Well, Peter can close him up”

“Meet you back at the ER, doctor Bishop”

You nod, going to the scrub room to wash your hands.

“Carol told me about your little nerve thing”

“Of course she did”

“There’s a great chance for the procedure to work, it’s also non invasive. Recovery time is…”

“I’ll think about it. But it hasn’t been bothering me anymore. Maybe it was just the shoulder injury”

“Yeah, maybe. But you know how it is. Wouldn’t you want to be completely sure you’ll be fine holding your baby one day?”

“Wanda is done having kids so that’s not a particular concern of mine” you say in an even tone.

“Really? With the way she looks at you, it almost seems like she wants you to knock her up”

“Tony” you elbow him, and he cackles.

“Just saying. Your kids would be cute”

“Are you having baby fever and trying to drag me with you?” you raise an eyebrow.

“Maybe” he winks as you leave the scrub room.

Still, the conversation leaves you thinking about Wanda and as soon as you’re out of the OR you call her.

“You’re on speaker, my love” she says, making you smile.

You can hear Billy and Tommy rushing to her side, speaking over each other.

“Woah, woah, one at a time”

“I got an A in my Science paper!”

“I scored a goal in practice”

“Way to go, kiddos. Can’t wait to hear all about it”

“We miss you” Tommy says, which makes you strangely emotional.

You never had someone say that to you.

“Miss you too” you admit.

“Go wash your hands, say bye to Y/N” Wanda waits a little and then talks to you again. “You’re still on speaker because I’m finishing dinner”

“No dirty talk, got it” you chuckle.

“How’s the day so far?”

“Oh, we had a freak accident with Halloween decoration which reminds me, don’t put anything until I’m there to help?”

“Ok, I won’t” she agrees.

“And Kate, you remember her? She’s a resident and today she told me she wants to be a Trauma surgeon so I guess I am officially her teacher”

“Congratulations, she got the best one”

“Yeah, it’s just a lot of responsibility, I guess” you chew on your lip, thinking about everything you’ll have to teach her. It’s not just the medical side, it’s about handling the stress and the pressure of helping people in the worst situations.

“I’m sure you’ll do great” Wanda says, knowing your sudden silence means you are overthinking. “Is the shoulder ok? Promise me you’ll eat something and get some rest”

Your pager interrupts the moment and Wanda groans.

“I’m afraid I can’t keep that promise, love of my life. Will talk to you later”

“Love you”

“Love you too”

Kate meets you in the ER and you’re suddenly dealing with a car accident and four patients, two of them children.

“Page Maria and Carol, this is gonna be a long night”

“And my shift is just starting” Darcy says behind you and you turn, excited to see your best friend.

“Missed me?”

“Not a bit”

But you know she’s full of it. You scrub in together, and she updates you on all the gossip you missed, using codenames no one else knows about.

“Did you hear Doctor Bishop is my new apprentice?” you say when you let her close the patient.

“Congrats, you finally got a minion”

“Wanna get one for you?”

“Ugh, no, you gotta water them twice a week and it’s too much trouble. I’m fine just being an attending” she rolls her eyes.

You’re about to go on a lecture about the importance of teaching and mentoring when Kate curses, and the patient begins to crash.

“Move” you say, stepping in to check what’s wrong.

“See?” Darcy says.

Though Kate didn’t do anything wrong, you ended up an hour more in the OR to make sure everything was ok.

When you’re done it’s close to dawn and you’re exhausted. Darcy finds an empty room and you plop down in one of the beds, sighing. It’s too early to call Wanda. You remove the brace to rest your shoulder.

“Do you think people ever considered we were hooking up?” you ask your friend, remembering the conversation with Stark. It’s just a funny thought, but Darcy let’s out a groan.

“Ugh, I hope not”

“Excuse me?” you sit up. “It sounds like you’re offended by the idea”

“You’re just not my type”

“So hot and successful is not your type?”

“You’re too tall!” she shouts.

“You’re too small!” you say, turning around so she only sees your back. “Garden gnome”

“Big foot” she whispers and you both laugh.

—

“Wanda, baby” you moan, kissing the… pillow?

Your pager wakes you up, and you look around the room, confused.

“I’m trying to sleep” Darcy complains.

“So was I” you say, checking your phone. It’s nothing related to the ER, so you go to the room where you’re called to.

“How can I help...” you walk into the room, and are surprised to see Wanda sitting in the bed. “Baby, hey! Wait, are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?”

“I’m fine” she says, appreciating your concern. Still, you check every inch of her body, hands holding her face gently. “I drove Agatha here”

“Why?” you frown.

“She cut herself while carving out a pumpkin”

“Halloween is always like this. I hate it” you mumble, and Wanda laughs.

“Don’t be such a party pooper. What’s wrong with dressing up and getting candy?”

“Trust me, spend a night in the ER with people who thought it would be a good idea to bring a real chainsaw to a party and you’ll agree with me”

“Well, I’ll have to change your mind about it” Wanda bites her lip, pulling you closer. “Maybe wear something real nice to cheer you up”

“I’m listening” you say, moaning against her mouth when she finally closes the distance. God, you forgot how good it feels to have her in your arms. “I should go check on Agatha”

“Your little student is taking care of her. Plus, I have a few symptoms of my own I’d like to ask about”

“Ok, what is it?”

“I have heart palpitations… and something like a flutter in my stomach. It’s hard to focus sometimes, too”

“When does this happen?” you play along, smiling as Wanda pulls you in between her legs.

“When I'm thinking about my girlfriend fucking me real hard”

“Babe” you sigh against her lips.

“Nu-uh. You’re working” she smiles, happy to see you so worked up.

“Mean”

Wanda laughs against your temple, her hands running up and down your arms.

“When does your shift end?”

“Tomorrow morning. Which would give me enough time to get ready for Laura’s party”

“You remembered” Wanda says, shocked.

“Well, yeah”

“I told you a month ago”

“And I wrote it down so I didn’t forget. You told me it was important for me to be there” you smile, unaware of the impact a little gesture like that could have in Wanda.

“I changed my mind, I need you to fuck me here”

You open and close your mouth a few times, looking at the door and then at Wanda. Yeah, you’d be crazy to let that chance slip.

Undoing the butto of her jeans, your hand moves as much as possible in the confined space, rubbing her clit through her underwear until Wanda is panting against your ear.

The woman finishes with a groan that you muffle with your lips, worried someone might come in.

Still, when you both leave the room, a bit disheveled and blushing, Stark glares and you wink.

“At least it’s not an on call room, Tony”

Wanda follows you to the ER, where Kate is finishing with Agatha’s stitches.

“Took your sweet time, Wanda” Agatha says, and you try to hide your smile.

“Sorry, that was my fault. But I’m here now and I’ll make sure everything is fine. Nice work, Doctor Bishop. Mrs. Harkness is a vital member of our community”

“Oh, darling, aren’t you a dear?” Agatha laughs, patting your arm. “Careful, Wanda, I might steal her from you”

You’re pretty sure Wanda’s response is not gonna be a nice one, but then you’re interrupted by the forensic that works at the morgue.

“Yo, Y/L/N. Can I get your name here?” Rio asks, her tone even and deadpan expression making her look bored, as usual.

“Sure, Death. There ya go”

Rio looks at Agatha for a second too long and then smiles to herself.

“I love to play with knives too” the brunette says, winking at your neighbour.

Wanda and you share a look, as if you’re wondering if Rio is the answer to all your problems.

“Who was that?” Agatha says, enthranced.

“Rio Vidal. We call her Death because she’s at the morgue, doing autopsies. Seems like she likes you”

“Could I… can you give her my phone number?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll go straight to the morgue and make sure she has it, Agatha” you promise.

Once Kate finishes with closing the wound, Agatha tells Wanda they better go, so you’re free to find Rio.

“See you in 24 hours, my beautiful girlfriend” you promise, kissing Wanda.

“Lovebirds, wrap it up. Vámonos”

“Ugh” Wanda rolls her eyes. Maybe she liked Agatha better when she pretended to be nice to you to upset her.

“Smile, darling. Let’s hope Rio keeps her busy for the next few weeks”

“Or centuries” Wanda jokes and you laugh, kissing her softly.

—

A 48 hour shift when you just got back to work was not your best idea. As you park in your driveway, you text Wanda to let her know you’ll shower and rest a bit before you leave at noon.

You almost fall asleep standing in the shower, but snap out of it and clean yourself up so you can get a nap.

Once you wake up, it’s a little before noon so you get some time to change into pants, a t-shirt and sneakers.

“Well, hello there” you admire Wanda’s figure in a sundress. “Am I underdressed?”

“It’s a barbecue, baby, you’re fine” she smiles, pulling you inside and cornering you against the door. “Missed you”

“Missed you too” you sigh against her lips.

“Mom, have you seen my shoes?” Tommy says from upstairs and you laugh.

It takes the twins a couple more minutes to get ready, but once they go down and see you, they’re both buzzing with excitement.

The whole car ride is spent asking them questions about their day. As soon as you park, though, they are out the door, eager to greet Cooper and Lila.

You carry the pie Wanda made and put it on a table full of food.

“Wow, it’s kinda nice to live outside the city” you say admiring the entire property. Wanda had told you they lived in a farm, but you thought it was a figure of speech. “Maybe we need to get something like this, babe”

“Wanda, glad you could make it. You must be Y/N” a brunette approaches you, and you squeeze her hand.

“Nice you meet you, Laura”

“I hear you already know my husband”

“Yeah, we’ve had our share of work stuff” you nod, hand going to your shoulder.

As if on cue, Clint shows up holding a baby that is getting restless.

“Sweetheart, did you feed Nathaniel? Oh, hey Wanda. Y/N”

“I just fed him. Can you take care of him for a bit? I gotta make the mashed potatoes”

“Why don’t I…” you suggest when the baby starts crying. His eyes widen at the shift and then stares at you. Holding your breath, you expect him to begin hollering but he just laughs, curious about your hair. “There we go”

“Oh, wow. Wanda, you should have mentioned this sooner” Laura says, amazed at how Nathaniel seems to be so at ease with you.

“Come on, little prince. Let’s walk around the party for a bit. Say bye to Mom and Dad”

“I’ll catch you later, gotta help Laura for a bit” Wanda says, finding it hard to look away from you.

“Ok, darling” you say, balancing Nathaniel in your arms.

You walk around the Barton’s property, waving at the twins and their friends. Nathaniel bounces around in your arms, wanting to play with his siblings.

“What are you up to, kiddos?”

“We’re gonna play hide and seek. Wanna join us?” Billy says.

“Gotta look out for Nathaniel, but enjoy”

Across the field, some of Clint’s friends are playing soccer. Nathaniel seems interested in the ball, so you stand on the edge and let him follow it with his eyes. At one point, one of the guys throws it your way by accident and you’re able to stop it with your foot, without dropping Nathaniel.

There’s a chorus of whistles and one of the man approaches.

“Hey, you must be the cutest babysitter I’ve seen”

“I’m a guest of Clint and Laura” you say, ignoring his advances. “And you are a hazard to babies. Goodbye”

Wanda is following your every move from the kitchen, and she’s reluctant to admit that the image of you holding a baby so confidently is doing things to her.

“There are kids present” Laura teases and she laughs.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Can’t say that I blame you. She looks good with a baby”

“Yeah, but… I don’t know, we talked about it and she seemed to be indifferent to the idea. Or maybe it was because I tried to brush it off” Wanda sighs, cutting up more fruit. Truth is, she did wonder what it would be like, to have a partner that was with her every step of the way.

She loved her boys, but she had done everything on her own. Sometimes Pietro and her parents would help, but she didn’t have a spouse that would be her companion in every sense of the word.

“Well, I don’t think she’s completely convinced about it either” Laura points your way, and you’re making Nathaniel giggle with silly faces.

“Diaper change” you announce a moment later; walking to the living room. “I can do it”

“Thanks, you’re a sweetheart” Laura says, pointing at the diapers and wipes. Wanda takes a break from the cooking, to check if you need any help.

To her surprise, you’re changing the diaper expertly. In one swift motion, it’s all done and cleaned. Your girlfriend joins in, talking to Nathaniel while her hand runs up and down your back.

“We’re missing a player, wanna join us?” Clint calls from the door. Wanda takes Nathaniel from your arms, and you kiss her cheek.

When you walk to the field, the same man that spoke to you before approaches.

“Hey, we got off on the wrong foot. I’m Sam Wilson” you arch an eyebrow, staying silent. “Come on, can I at least get your name?”

“I’m Y/N”

“Ok, Y/N. Why don’t we make it interesting? If I score a goal, I can ask you something about yourself”

“Well, what do I get if I score?” you say, smiling.

“Whatever you want, gorgeous”

You look around the field, spotting Lila playing with some nail polish.

“Lila gets to do your nails”

“Alright. Let’s go”

It’s funny, how Sam and his team think they have to go easy on you. It takes them two goals to catch up and realise they’re not letting you win.

You’re making them lose big time.

Throwing some turns and dribbles, you make Sam lose his footing, jumping over him to kick the ball one last time and score another goal.

“That’s three versus zero, Sam” you pat his back.

“One last shot” he says. You roll your eyes, too tired to argue with him. This time, you run around with the ball but do a simple kick that he can intercept.

“Yes. Goal!” he stops mid dance to turn to you. “My question is, do you have a boyfriend?”

“Nope” you answer, smiling as you can see Wanda approaching you. She walks past Sam, jumping into your arms and putting her legs around your waist. She kisses you, groaning against your mouth when you bite her bottom lip.

“She does, however, have a girlfriend” Wanda says, getting down. “Food’s ready”

“I’m starving” you say, letting Wanda pull you to the table, leaving Sam behind, confused and exhausted.

—

It was a wonderful party. There was plenty of food, playing and cleaning to do. In the end, the twins wanted to stay over to play with the Barton children.

Laura said it would be no trouble, and you voluntereed to pick them all up the next day to go to the movies or anything else.

“Had the best time today” you say, stretching in Wanda’s bed. She stays silent for a second and you sit up. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I’m just…” she interrupts her beauty routine to turn and look at you. “Would it be a mistake to tell you that maybe, I still want to have another baby?”

“Am I that irresistible holding a toddler?” you wiggle your eyebrows and Wanda let’s out a laugh, relieved that you’re not freaked out by what she just said. You stand up, kneeling in front of her. “I think having a little baby girl that looks like you would be the best thing ever. I also know having a kid involves a lot of changes and planning. But I can’t think of anyone better to do it with”

“So… why don’t we just leave that door open?” Wanda says, looking at her lap where your hands are clasped together. “For now”

“Yes, my love” you nod, kissing the tip of her nose. You’re about to stand up when she pulls you down by your shirt, this time in a rougher kiss.

“I got us something” she says, breathing heavily.

“Oh?”

“We don’t have to use it if you don’t want to”

“Now I really need to know what it is, Wanda” you say, the exhaustion of the past days leaving your body at the idea of having sex with your girlfriend.

“Get in bed and close your eyes”

You nod, excitedly waiting for her to reveal what she got. You hear her drawer open and close, and your heart beats faster.

“Ok” she says, and as you open your eyes you don’t notice anything different, until you look at her hand.

“Oh” you pick up the strap, arching an eyebrow.

“It’s a…”

“I know what it is” you say with a smile, checking that it is indeed hollow. Out of curiosity, you squeeze it and a stream of lube shoots out of the tip. “Shit. Sorry, love. I’ll last longer next time”

“You’re an idiot” she laughs, hiding her face in her hands.

“So, wanna try it?”

“I do, yeah… uh, it’s a fantasy of mine to feel you, as if, finishing inside. I mean, I know it’s just something different but… yeah” she turns red, looking between you and the strap.

“No need to feel ashamed, my darling. I like to be tied up, if you want us to share some kinks”

“That would be amazing” she says, a little out of breath. “But if we do all of that, I might not survive, so, just one thing at a time?”

“Of course” you smile, placing the strap on the nighstand. “Come here”

You let Wanda sit on your lap, and you begin to kiss her, taking your time and alternating between running your tongue down her lip and letting it explore the inside of her mouth.

“This toy is a bit bigger than what we’ve used before, so why don’t I… get you nice and ready, huh?” you whisper hotly, pulling her underwear to the side. Without waiting for an answer, you collect Wanda’s juices in your fingers, prodding at her entrance and stretching her. When you bring a finger to your mouth and suck, Wanda’s mouth opens, hypnotized by your movement. “Lie on your back and get that dress off. I wanna taste that pussy”

She doesn’t need to be told twice, and you watch with a smile as she discards the dress, waiting in her matching lace set.

“What a good girl” you purr, crawling until you’re close to her center. You kiss the inside of her thighs, and then pull down her panties, slick coating the fabric.

Wanda arches her back when she feels your mouth on her cunt, holding your head in place. You let her dig her nails in your scalp, moving against your face until you have her arousal on your chin and lips.

“Feeling ready to take my cock?” you say, standing up to take off your clothes. Wanda is so worked up that she barely listens to you, watching as you adjust the strap around your hips.

Before you can get back to bed, Wanda leans forward, licking the shaft.

“Fuck” you say, admiring how the cock disappears inside her mouth, and she looks so pleased licking it that you’re tempted to squeeze and have the lube run down her throat.

Maybe later, you decide when she breaks apart, gasping for air.

“I’m not waiting any longer to be buried inside you” you say, pushing her so she’s on her back again. “Ready?”

“Please, just fuck me already” she says, canting her hips up.

“So desperate. And all just so you can have my cum inside you, is that right?” you taunt, letting the tip in and watching for any sign of discomfort.

Wanda bites her lip and the way she looks at you makes your hips jerk, introducing more of the toy. The woman moans, her nails digging in your sides.

“That’s it” she sighs, while you move in and out, starting a slow and steady ryhtm. You lift her legs and put them over your shoulders, going deeper and hitting that perfect spot that makes her see stars.

“Harder, I want you to fuck me so hard”

“How hard, huh?” your hand goes to her neck and you squeeze. Wanda moans your name, enjoying the pressure. “Want me to come inside you?”

“Yes, please fill me up”

“So pretty when you beg” you mutter, pounding harder and letting the hand that was chocking her travel to her nipples. You pinch one and then the other, enjoying Wanda’s sensitivity.

As you change your angle, Wanda’s legs squeeze you, pulling you closer. You thrust harder, erratically, knowing you’re close and so is she.

“Wanna get you nice and full”

“Fuck, yes” Wanda cries out, biting the spot between your shoulder and neck. “I’m gonna…”

As soon as she says those words, your hand travels between your bodies, squeezing the strap on so it can shoot the load inside of her.

Wanda lets out a loud moan at the feeling, pulling you until you can’t hold yourself up, collapsing on top of her.

For a few minutes, all that can be heard is your heavy breathing. Once you come to your senses, you move to the side. While Wanda is still trying to recover, you look down, clenching at the mess between your bodies.

“Give me a second and we can…” Wanda says, coming back to her senses. You smile, kissing her softly.

“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere”

Once her breathing evens out, she scoots closer, hiding in your arms.

“Was it good? We appreciate honest feedback here”

Wanda laughs, kissing your neck.

“It was so good I think I might be pregnant”

“Well” you say, rolling so Wanda’s on top now. “That will be one beautiful baby”

—

This has been the best night of your life. You’re usually quiet when having sex, because you never have the house to yourselves. After that, you cuddle and call it a night.

Not this night, though. You had been at it for a couple of hours when you got hungry, so now you’re having a midnight snack, Wanda wearing your shirt and you in the usual tank top.

“Food’s almost ready” Wanda says.

"While we wait, let's..." you trail off, playing some music.

I used to love like a lovesick puppy Loving on anyone who'd throw me a bone I didn't care if they weren't good for me 'Cause it was better than being alone

“What are you doing?” Wanda asks with a smile when you reach out for her hand.

“Can I have this dance?”

“I’m a terrible dancer” she warns you, but you shrug your shoulders.

“You’re not wearing heels right now, so we’re safe. Come on, I’ll lead”

Without waiting for her reply, your hands go around her waist. Wanda puts her arms over your shoulders, letting you sway her to the music.

Now I've grown up to be a pretty cool person Loving myself and I know my worth I think I'm ready to find my person 'Cause I won't accept less than I deserve

“I’m not looking for a girlfriend, I’m looking for a wife” you sing, making Wanda laugh.

“Is this you proposing?”

“What? Nu-uh. When I do it, it’s gonna be awesome. And unexpected. But mostly awesome”

“When you propose? You thought about it”

“I’m here for the long run, baby”

Wanda smiles, leaning against your chest, while you keep rocking gently to the music.

“I love you”

“Love you too, Wanda”

Ooweeoowee My emergency contact Want a love like that No sweat 'cause I know you've got my back Ooweeoowee My emergency contact Want a love like that, want a love like that

A/N: Song is Emergency Contact by Corook. Please listen to all her music.

Last year I told you all to listen to Chappell Roan and none of you did and LOOK WHERE WE ARE NOW

[222col]

coffee

★ art donaldson x reader ★ inspired by 'coffee' by chappell roan ★ 0.6k ★ 18+ | cw: angst, adult themes

art: hey, long time no speak, wanna grab a drink?

you wish you could resist, wish you'd already blocked his number. you broke up nearly a year ago, you'd met him a few times since, and it always ends the same way. you crying, him comforting you all the way back to his apartment then kicking you out the next morning. it's a repetitive cycle, one that you're not strong enough to break.

you: coffee?

coffee is safer, if you drink, you know where it leads. nowhere else is safe. you hate that you're stuck in his grip, unable to escape the delusions that fill your mind the second those blonde locks appear in front of you.

art: meet me at the jazz bar, 7pm? the one on mary ann street

ignored, your requests, your pleadings, always ignored. he knows you like the back of his hand, knows you can't resist him. he's already there when you arrive, a couple drinks in. a glass of wine waiting for you on the table accompanied by the flirty smile on his face. "hey sweet girl." you drink and catch up and tell each other lies. "i want you, come home to me." art pleads, after his fourth glass of wine. if you didn't still love him, still trust him and his intentions, you'd be fine. you wouldn't end up back at his apartment again. but you do, so your hand links through his as you walk back to his place.

"my girl, my perfect girl." you can smell the wine of his breath as he pushes you through the door of his apartment. the pictures of you are gone. you're kissing your way to the bedroom, he's got new sheets. you don't exist here anymore, you're not a part of his new life. he's moved on, well moved on enough to remove you from his home. there isn't a piece of you left here. you're almost crying into the kiss as art pushes you onto the mattress.

you: hey, wanna grab dinner?

you'll never know what kind of magic spell this boy has over you, one that makes you drop all your morals and defence mechanisms to run to him.

art: let's do the park, meet you there at sunset

the text shows any ideas of a normal conversation flying out the window. but you'd rather feel something, than nothing at all. you meet him at your favourite tree, tasting the alcohol on his tongue as his mouth crashes into yours. always excusing his behaviour, telling yourself he loves you. feeding your delusions, at least he wants to see you, feel you, taste you. "i'm sorry baby, don't cry, want you." he whispers into your ear, as his hand slips into your jeans.

art: let's grab coffee?

art was your reason to live, to cry, to love. but it wasn't healthy, you knew it and he abused it. knew he could get anything he wanted from you, knew you'd do anything he asked of you. the memories come flooding back. sat in front of him on the couch as he plaits your hair, dancing the night away at bars, watching him on the courts. looking up the tennis channel on tv, seeing art's face plastered over the screen. those curly blonde hairs, that you used to wash the shampoo out of. those big blue eyes, that used to tell you they loved you. those little dimples you used to kiss every time he got shy when you complimented him. art taught you how to love, how to care. a single tear dropping onto the phone as you text him back.

you: it's better if we don't try, it's never just coffee

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Fixing & Empathy

This is a long one- and of course, I'm talking about the table scene. But it's such a great example here.

How Carmy connects with Syd and Claire shows the difference between Empathy and Fixing. Fixing is our instinct when our partner is in feelings of discomfort; we sympathize and try to see the silver lining for this person; we want to solve their problems instead of sitting in pain with our partner. Empathy, you're showing someone you care and understand; it's finding something within you to connect to the other person. This is the art of vulnerability.

Fixing

Claire: When we were, like, six, she, uh, fell off a fence and broke her arm, and it scared the sh¡t out of everybody? Except me, I just, like, sat there and stared at her arm.

Carmy: 'Cause you wanted to fix it?

Claire: I wanted to understand it.

Carmy: Right.

This has become my favorite interaction of the Claire & Carmy storyline. It's the summary of their relationship, a foreshadowing, if you will.

If I fill in the blanks, she is a fixer, at least in romantic relationships. I know Molly said with Carmy it's the first time Claire has stood up for herself. Maybe that's what she means: Claire wants to fix her partners; she's an enabler, as @moodyeucalyptus said. Enabling is when someone else will always fix, solve, or make the consequences disappear, and I noticed this dynamic in 2x08.

2x08: She listens to his problems and reminds him that everything is fine the night after his panic attack. When Claire asks Carmy what he's thinking about. He can't be honest that he's still thinking about the suppression test because she will attempt to fix it. He does not trust her with his feelings of discomfort. The fixing Claire does is futile support.

The way she attempts to fix Carmy, we hear through Carmy himself. A panic attack about his family gatherings - Claire's solution is finding a new meaning, making the cannolis your own. chaos menu? Could you try making it something you care about?

Can she truly understand and connect with what he's feeling? Carmy not defining their relationship could mean the lack of a bond on Carmy's part.

Part of the solution to Carmy's dilemmas on the show lies in connecting - moving out of the constant state of isolation.

Connection improves Carmy; when he initiates contact, he becomes a better version of himself. He stops screaming, gets out of his head, and can provide for others and inspire them.

All the above matches what he does for Tina, Richie, Marcus, Ebrahim, and most of all, Sydney.

It's like what Luca says in 2x04- being inspired by someone, bettering ourselves because of the person next to us- and really getting out there in the world means opening ourselves up to other people, which is what Carmy and Syd do for each other- they use empathy as a source of bonding.

Blocking was talked about for their scenes before, how one always initiates closeness- Carmy usually does that, especially in season 2. That need for contact - touching Syd on her back and shoulders - shows Carmy's longing for closeness with Sydney.

Before I get to empathy, Here's the thing: I know people hate to say that Carmy relies on Sydney or that she's his peace argument, but this does not mean Sydney actively tries to fix Carmy. Just Sydney's presence ignites change in him; just by her honesty, he's willing to try and be there for someone and get out of that place where he's hiding within himself. Sometimes, it's forgotten that social isolation can impact our mental health, and bonding with others can make positive changes.

Empathy

"...empathy is kind of this sacred space. When someone's kind of in a deep hole, and they shout out from the bottom, and they say hey it's dark, I'm overwhelmed, and then we look, and we say, "Hey," we come down."I know what it's like down here, and you're not alone."

-Brene Brown

I talked about the table scene fifty-eleven times. It makes a great example of the connection Carmy feels to Sydney.

When we're with people - our person - they make us want to be better. We don't fear a future; we expect a future with this person. There's this knowing Carmy has about Sydney; he knows whatever this relationship is, they'll work on it.

Carmy & Sydney show us the correct way to deal with your partner's feelings is empathy- listening to one another, instead of correcting emotions- you get in the hole- or table with them and express your own fears. He leaves space for Sydney to share her concerns and doesn't try to correct those feelings. He affirms and tells her he's right there with her (I fuck things up all the time), and he's honest- the without-you dialogue isn't just to make her feel better. It's his own moment of vulnerability.

When Carmy says I won't let you, I think he will hold his side and make it easier so they can fix themselves. All while empathizing with each other during their partnership.

Writing this makes the scene of the walk-in even more heartbreaking. Carmy was in the dark hole- calling for Sydney to bond with him; they couldn't help each other :(.

This is why I can't blame Carmy for screaming at Richie; he sort of begged Richie for empathy, but Richie judged him- causing panic at that moment and more isolation.

Though the end of season two was heartbreaking, I have faith we'll get more intimate, empathetic scenes despite the fall in season two.

This is a roundabout way to say- whether they end up together romantically or not (they will i just say this for the sycarmy doubters), Carmy pretty much confirms his bond with Sydney is unlike any other he's experienced, and no one can replace what he feels for her- even if someone is sitting at their table.

SIDEBAR: Read this insightful post by @bioloyg about Carmy fixing himself.

I've referenced Brene Brown's Empathy Vs. Sympathy

[ase-trollplays]

Getting Over It

*snap*

The tip of Thiomi's mechanical pencil broke for the fourth time as she was sketching, and the woman silently gritted her teeth and impatiently tapped the eraser to reveal more lead. She was behind on commissions again and hoped to get some warm-up sketches in before starting on her work proper, but her restraint was beginning to wane.

She shouldn't have even approached her. She knew it was going to be an unpleasant interaction. It always is when it comes to her.

Of course she's not sorry. She's never sorry for anything wrong she does, that bitch.

In fact, if not for Thiomi making herself known, she probably wouldn't have even noticed h--

*snap*

"Dammit!"

The sound of paper flapping was followed by a loud THUMP as the sketchbook hit the wall, followed by a thud as it fell uselessly to the ground, and Thiomi balled her hands into fists at her desk with tears threatening to well in her orange-tinted eyes.

She knew talking to her would only make her angry. She knew she wouldn't get the reaction from her that she wanted. She knew it was a mistake, so why did she do it? Why did she bother approaching that spiteful, wretched, insensitive--

"Well shoot, what's got ya doin' all that clickin', miss ma'am?"

Thiomi darted her head toward the doorway to her room where Corali stood with a bowl of sliced pears. Only now did Thiomi take note of the loud throat clicking emanating from her. She quickly unballed her fists and laid her hands flat on the table and unhunched her shoulders as she relaxed her jaw. The clicking slowly subsided as she stood up from her desk and made her way over to her moirail to accept the pears.

"It's nothing," Thiomi responded curtly and took the bowl from her. Corali glanced to the side and eyed the battered sketchbook on the ground before gently picking it up and unwrinkling the bent pages.

"Them eyes a yers're tellin' a different story," Corali remarked with a cross of her arms as Thiomi shoved a large pear slice in her mouth and took her time chewing as if to avoid answering.

"It's just an art block," she lied through her teeth before stuffing her mouth with another large slice. The taller troll narrowed her eyes slightly, then sighed.

"Bullshit it is. Meemaw an' I could hear ya from downstairs. There ain't no amount a art block that could cause that," Corali said bluntly. Thiomi seemed to deflate for just a moment before steeling her gaze, which she kept firmly on the pears. Corali could hear the unspoken "It's not your business" like an airhorn in her ears, and she narrowed her eyes at her and glared like a disappointed parent.

"I'm fine," Thiomi answered curtly and went to angrily eat another pear, but Corali snatched the bowl away from her before she could silence herself again. She now turned her venomous glare at her moirail and opened her mouth to protest, which Corali immediately halted.

"Yer a shit liar. Tell me what's the matter," Corali demanded.

"I s-said it's nothi--"

"An' I'm sayin' it ain't nothin'. You were perfectly fine 'til ya went out, an' when ya came back I could feel the anger comin' off ya like steam out a shower. I thought givin' ya space ta simmer down would help, but if yer gonna lie ta my face then I ain't gonna keep playin' nice about it. I'm yer pale! Why can't ya tell me what's gotcha fumin'??"

"Because you can't help! You can't fix it, s-so why bring it up!?" Thiomi spat with a barely subdued growl. The tears she was suppressing followed through on their threat and came streaming down her cheeks, and she furiously wiped them away on the sleeve of her sweater.

Corali relaxed her glare and sighed before pulling the angrily crying woman into a one-armed hug. As rare as it was to see such a gentle and soft-spoken woman loudly and aggressively angry, Corali didn't flinch at the sight. She knew anger like a childhood friend, a warm security blanket to protect her from fear and abuse like a shield.

A shield she was recently forced to abandon before its heat could burn her any further.

"Maybe yer right, an' I can't fix what's wrong, but that don't mean I can't help," Corali assured her and hugged her just a little bit tighter. Thiomi didn't hug back, but she visibly relaxed against her.

******************************************************

"Her name's S-shadah. We were kismeses s-sweeps ago. The relationship only lasted a s-sweep and a half, and s-she s-spent at least half of it cheating on me before leaving me altogether for her mistress."

Thiomi sat curled against Mousemom's side and leaning against Corali. The bowl of pear slices sat empty in Thiomi's lap as she held her moirail's hand. Her grip was strong and tight with repressed rage, but the metal appendage was more than capable of handling it. Corali couldn't stop a glare from appearing on her face, but it paled in comparison to the scowl Thiomi wore.

"Tch. What a fuckin' bitch. I ain't ever understood the point a cheatin'. If y'ain't happy just break up outright instead a stringin' someone along an' goin' behind their back," she said.

"Exactly! We could have talked and maybe worked s-something out, and if it couldn't be s-saved, then we could have at least broken up on good terms! But instead, s-she s-spent half a s-sweep lying to me!" Thiomi agreed. She growled and ground her teeth as lukewarm tears continued to fall.

"I know I'm not naturally competitive, but if s-she'd just told me s-she wasn't happy, I would have tried harder. S-she was the first person I ever fell pitch for. I hated her arrogance, her selfishness, how loudly and unapologetically disrespectful and rude and s-spiteful s-she is, but s-she's also confident, and headstrong, and determined, and proud... S-she was perfect, and... And--"

Thiomi choked on her last statement and grabbed the bowl in her lap to launch it across the room in frustration. The plastic bounced harmlessly across the floor slinging pear juice with every impact. With a heavy breath, she hid her face in her hands and loudly cried out her rage and hurt. Corali slung her arm around her and pulled her close. Mousemom gave a few concerned squeaks as she listened to her ward's distress, and Corali gently papped her large snout to ease her a bit.

"Why couldn't I be enough for her?? Why couldn't s-she just-- just talk to me!? Why did s-she have to lie to me for half a s-sweep?! I can't-- I can't even think about that quadrant now! How can I trust I won't be hurt again?? That I'm ever going to be enough for anybody!!" Thiomi wailed and slammed her fists against her crossed legs just to release at least a fraction of the tension and angry energy, and Corali made no move to stop her. She'd been carrying around and hiding this anger for sweeps.

Venting was the best thing she could do for herself.

When her rage entered another lull, Corali finally spoke up again. "An' then ya ran inta her while you were out an' about."

"Y-yeah. I was an idiot to approach her at all, but I-I wanted her to be s-sorry. I knew s-she wouldn't be, because s-she's never s-sorry, but..."

"But ya still wanted some kinda acknowledgement that she knew she was wrong. Just somethin', anythin' at all to show she has at least a fraction of a conscience," Corali finished, and Thiomi could only bite her lip and nod in confirmation.

"S-she told me it was my own fault our relationship failed. That not holding her interest forced her to look for s-someone else because I never measured up. S-she called you a downgrade from S-sonja because 'at least he's a highblood,' and 's-settling for the lowest s-society has to offer' means s-she was right to dump me s-since i'm 's-such a joke.'"

Corali could feel her own anger start to well up hearing the brutal dressing down she received. However, rather than contribute to the Shadah hate train, she stood up and walked toward the couch, removed the cushions, and set them in a heap in front of Thiomi.

"What are you doing?" Thiomi asked in confusion as she watched Corali head to the cleaning closet in the kitchen and pull out the broom. She walked back to her, grabbed one of her hands and hoisted the small woman onto her feet with a single yank. Thiomi squeaked in surprise and nearly lost her balance from the sudden motion, but Corali was quick to catch her and straighten her up.

"We're gon' do a li'l thing called catharsis. See, yer gonna take this broom here an' beat the everlovin' shit outta them cushions," Corali told her matter-of-factly. "Hit 'em as hard an' as much as ya need. Trust me, as the expert on bein' angry, it'll feel damn good."

Thiomi stared at Corali, then the couch cushions, then the broom as it was forced into her hands. Broom, Corali, cushions, Corali, broom. Her incredulous gaze went back and forth for a few moments.

"You want me... to hit my cushions?"

"Them ain't yer cushions. They're Shadah's smug bitch face. Show that jackass what for!"

"I... I don't--"

"Here, lemme help getcha started," Corali said with a grin as she lifted up a cushion and held it in front of her. "Yer a spineless li'l wimp what couldn't fight her way outta a wet paper bag. I'm the best yer ever gon' get, an' ya fuckin' fumbled it. An' leavin' a purple fer a rusty? Pathetic."

"Y'all gonna take that lyin' down?" Corali prodded. Thiomi gripped the broom in her hand and gave the cushion a weak swing.

"Y'all call that a swat? I been bit by mosquitoes with more punch than that! Hit me fer real, or are ya too weak??"

"I'm not weak!" Thiomi raised her voice and took another swing, this one noticeably harder than the first.

"Them love taps say otherwise! C'mon, that can't be all ya got!"

"I s-said I'm not weak!" Smack!

"That's more like it! Tell me how ya really feel!"

"I hate you!" Smack! "I wish I never met you!" Smack! "You don't deserve your quadrants!!" Smack!! Smack!!

"An' why d'y'all wish ya never met me, huh!?"

"Because you s-suck!!" SMACK!! "You're a liar!" SMACK!! "And s-selfish!" SMACK!! "And the worst!" SMACK!! "Person!" SMACK!! "I ever!" SMACK!! "Met!!!" SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!

"There we go! Keep goin'! Show that bitch she's a waste a meat an' air!!" Corali cheered as her moirail finally let go and started wailing on the cushion, all the while yelling and venting everything she'd been holding back for sweeps. Her onslaught only stopped when she accidentally walloped Corali in the face. She yelped and dropped the cushion, and Thiomi's rage almost immediately vanished as concern overtook her. She cast the broom aside and tried to get a good look at Corali's face to check for any bruising. Corali, rather than be upset, cracked up laughing as she allowed Thiomi to examine her.

"Oh my god, I'm s-so s-sorry! I didn't mean to get s-so carried away!" Thiomi sputtered, but Corali brushed off her apology with a half-hearted wave of her hand and nudged her away.

"S'alright, miss ma'am! I fight yer matesprit, remember? I been hit with way worse than a li'l ol' broom ta the face. What about you, though? Felt pretty good to let loose, right?" Corali asked with a goofy grin. Thiomi fussed with the hem of her shirt as if she was embarrassed to answer.

"Ye... Yeah, it kinda did," she answered meekly with a small smile.

"Hahaha, the way you were swingin', I'd say 'kinda' is a understatement," Corali laughed and ruffled her moirail's hair before picking up the cushions and putting them back on the couch. As she was about to take a seat, Thiomi grabbed her around the middle and gave her a tight hug.

"Thanks," she said sweetly. "Nothing will fix what happened, but... but I can live with that."

"Good. One li'l beat 'em up session ain't gonna be enough ta heal how bad you were hurtin', but at least ya got some a that anger out now instead a hidin' it."

"Yeah. Next time I s-see Kamava, I'll tell her about S-shadah and s-see what s-she s-says."

"Atta gal," Corali said and leaned down to plant a small kiss on the top of her head. "Yer gonna be just fine."

[goincrazyhere]

Alright. Let's get this going.

Yes, me. @alice-the-kittycat-yt

Sep-dec 2021

From running through the house, I turned my foot the wrong way and broke it. It wasn't till a week later that I was taken to Urgent Care to get an X-ray of it. Turned out it was fractured. I had to use crutches to get around.

Because of that, I couldn't carry my bag. Someone had to help me. Yes, the mentioned, Alexander.

Not going to say his full name. That would be completely wrong. That'd probably be considered doxxing, which is not what I want. Don't do or say anything to him. That's wrong and not a good way to handle such situations.

Anyway, he was the one to carry my bag. Over the time, I developed a close bond with him. I had ever wanted to love, but something changed when I met him. Felt instantly drawn and breathless looking at him.

Off of that, my friends found out. The first time he asked me out, I declined. I didn't want to like him at the time.

Oh how bad that was.

I soon confessed and we stayed extremely close friends for a while.

Feb 18 2022

This is the exact day he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I excepted.

Went on the rest of the year without any problems, other than me then thinking negatively of myself after dating him. Bringing down my self esteem.

Rest of 2022

It was alright. I was completely blind by love for this man. I was dumb. Long time followers remember me always talking about him over this period.

As well as self hate posts.

Drawings of him.

Everything on him.

I was obsessed with this guy.

How foolish.

I realized signs of him cheating with a clingy woman named, to keep her private, we'll call her Izzy. She always wanted to be around him.

Then came valentine's day of 2023...

Feb 25, 2023

This is the exact date of which he broke up with me after admitting to cheating on my with Izzy.

I was devastated and depressed.

I didn't know what to do with my life. But...

I built myself back up. He started being a b**** to me and calling me things.

Going as far as to bring up my past, which is a very sensitive subject for me.

I couldn't believe he would do such a thing (yes, my parents fought, not only with words but violence, I might do a story on that later).

Then it went to insulting my appearance.

Then brings my depression to make fun of me

Wouldn't anyone cry?!?!?!

Then he goes as far to tell me to kill myself after I mentioned my friend telling me to block him. Before I even finished my sentence.

Can't even spell properly.

Uses the same insults as a 6 year old.

Present day

So, currently he called me recently, no, I didn't answer because I was confused. I've been a lot nicer to him.

Though I'll never truly forgive him.

He lied and said I was abusive then later admitting to dumping me for another woman.

I won't forget this. I never did anything to him. Yes, I did say some pretty rude things as a comeback, but I never went as far as to tell him to literally kill himself. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone!

Insulting my art.

I will never forgive or forget that.

He is rude and not trustworthy.

I'm done here.

[colindotpdx]

Snapshots from Tulsa, Oklahoma

Long story short: a couple of friends from France wanted to visit the Bob Dylan Center in Tulsa and we concocted a road trip to take advantage of their visit. Tulsa to Little Rock to Memphis to Nashville. Call it the American Music, Cuisine, and Civil Rights Tour. Somewhere we cross a magic line between the Mid-West and the South; opinions vary on where Oklahoma sits.

Greenwood Rising is a museum that tells the story of Black Wall Street and The Tulsa Massacre. It is brilliant, triggering, inspiring, and all too depressing given the current state of American politics. Oklahoma is not a Swing State. The story of Greenwood is the story of a hundred years of the American history we know compressed into a dozen city blocks. The rounding up of defeated American Indians who were marched along the Trail of Tears to be dumped on useless land in the Oklahoma Territory. The black population, later called “freedmen” were individuals of African descent who were enslaved by these tribes; I had no idea that both Indians and white Americans both held slaves. The Government then broke up the communal tribal lands and this black community founds themselves owners of land with oil underneath.

Greenwood became a prosperous, educated, organised, and law abiding middle class community until an alleged affront to a white woman in a Tulsa elevator sparked an orgy of resentment fed violent that killed hundreds, destroyed property, and displaced thousands. Pictures of the aftermath look like Hiroshima after the bomb.

Attempts at reconstruction were thwarted for a hundred years and a major freeway was built to split the area in two. Today there is discussion of compensation and attempts at investigating old communal graves, but one gentleman told me “You can teach the Tulsa massacre in Oklahoma schools as long as you do not mention race”.

“Woody” Woodrow Wilson Guthrie was born in Oklahoma and grew up around the time of the Tulsa Massacre; named for a President who was racist even for his time and in an environment of discrimination and lynchings. The Woody Guthrie Center does an amazing job of presenting his life and times and work from a collection of his writing, songs, notes, art, and recordings collected and preserved by his wife Marjorie.

The absolute highlight of the visit was meeting Sam Flowers who gave a thrilling talk on Guthrie’s life concluding with the fact that in 1952 Woody took advantage of veterans benefits to get a house in Beach Haven, New Jersey and found himself in a white enclave with Fred Trump as his landlord. He used his talent to write songs about the father of the 45th President and used his influence to get the NYT to dig deeper into Trump senior’s racist discriminatory businesses.

Mister Trump made a tramp out of me,

Mister Trump has made a tramp out of me.

Paid him all my bonds and savin’s

To move into his Beach Haven

Yes, Trump has made a tramp out of me.

Well we know where this story went.

When Bob Dylan sold his entire archive of “stuff” from his career to the George Kaioser Family Foundation, they asked him where he wanted them to build the display. He had apparently visited the Woody Guthrie Center and loved what they had done, and simply said “Put me next to Woody” his old friend and muse.

The Bob Dylan Center is another marvel; thousands of pieces that tell the story of his life and work. A place you could spend hours delving into all the material. The tambourine that inspired the song, the guitar and his notes on the chord sequence for Like a Rolling Stone, a jukebox of Dylan sings and influencers curated by Elvis Costello. Endless.

The main takeaway is the archival footage of Dylan performing “Only a Pawn in Their Game” at the Newport Folk Festival. It tells the story of the murder of Medgar Evers in his driveway by a white fanatic whipped up to violence by the political fervour against the black student James Meredith entering university in Mississippi.

There is a straight line in American politics from Woodrow Wilson to Ronald Reagan to Donald Trump leveraging racism to set poor whites against everyone else. Trump’s cultists forcing FEMA workers to flee their work in the post-hurricane Carolinas is no different from the hatred that killed Medgar Evers.

These three museums only a few steps from each other in the newly renovated Arts District are well worth a ew hours of your time and a few days in Tulsa.

[anulithots]

Hi! I'm so happy to see you semi-back on Tumblr, Noor! We missed you so much!

I'm sorry about your Anuli doll. It broke my heart to hear it was damaged. However... I'm pretty confident the new one will be awesome!!

I'll be happily keeping up with the project! Take care of yourself! 👋🏻💚

- Ash

Thank you thank you thank you so much 

I do feel like I’m being a bit dramatic when I say the previous ANuli was destroyed. Fae does live beneath blankets and books, steadily crushed in the back of an old closet, but when my little brother pulled faer out for a stolen moment, fae was fine. A bit battered, sure. But salvageable. Fine. Mostly what I’m referring to when I mean ‘destroyed’ is that my brain associates things very easily. The land of the Fallen Fairies itself will never leave my head and I’ll finish it if it’s the last thing I do, even if it is traumatized and related to a lot of different times I’ve been yelled at, kicked out of the house for a day, nearly kicked out of the house, is for a few reasons, most notably because it’s my sanctuary, my place to put feelings and let them process and let them go. I let it be traumatized and continue writing because its purpose for me, along with being my fun little story with fun little characters, is to untangle the threads of my universe for a moment before letting them tangle again into a shape like needle felting wool. (never let me get super tired while explaining my choice of words again).

For the doll it’s a little different. It’s a tangible thing. I used to hold previous Anuli’s hand, give faer hugs, talk to faer when writing was being particularly difficult, and now that physical form is a vessel for a tangible situation, one my brain has mostly blocked out for my own safety (the thoughts sent out ‘just bare it just bare it just bare it numb everything numb it all’ the entire time), in which my parents wished to destroy the doll and some other queerphobic things just because the tree fairies don’t have genders… because trees have variable genders… and I don’t really care. I wanted the sanctuary to be free from it. I wanted to be free from it, free from the very concept, if only for a while. Hmmm. In essence, I was upset. My brain child that I’ve kept safe and worried that moving boxes would destroy now lies in this tangled web of associations and I’d never be able to free faer from that. Hence smaller Anuli. I wanted to take pictures for art and continue having a doll because all my stories have dolls and I have improved (I think) in needle felting since making previous Anuli. It’s fine really. New Anuli actually has a posable wire armature and will have felt leaves and is a reasonable size. I can have that size be the cannon size for Anuli… which means I can make the rest of the trio. ANkh and Kamari will eventually get dolls. Kamari’s armature is already made, I just have to finish some dolls for friends and family (I’m on a spree) before I finish the rest of the cast.

Holy herbs that was a rant. Hm. I’m not sure what sort of emotions or values that would offer. Sorry about that. 

In other news - Anuli’s tree grew a new branch without even telling me. So very rude of it. /lh /pos. Kamari’s magnolia tree also has these lines of holes along its trunk. Which reminds me (I started reading some more of the articles for the wood wide web) that I should do some actual worldbuilding for tree fairy connections… it’s the most vauge part of all my wordlbuilding, funnily enough. An article I was reading described trees and thier relations as ‘unfathomable’ and that we as humans should hope to not understand them via anthropromorphizing them, but see them as the complex beings they are, without imposing our morals and such. I wholeheartedly agree while also acknowledging that I’ve done nothing but anthropromorphize them… they’re humanoid and everything. A new facet of storytelling to explore I suppose. 

I hope you’re doing well! Wishing you pretty sunset clouds and tiny pinecones (I highly recommend searching for little pinecones) and stumps with their heartwoods hollowed out and mushrooms growing out the side like the forest’s version of leviathan bones.

little brother and I stole a moment to look at the doll.

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Skating on Thin Ice - Chapter 36 - Part 3

*Warning - Adult Content*

Elijah Ellis

I couldn't help but think of the time I spent with Mandy and how it made me feel.

It seemed like such a simple thing but she was right, confronting my emotions was crucial in dealing with them.

I always thought hockey was the only way I could let off steam.

Never would I have thought of art to be a sort of therapy for me.

My shower was quick and soon enough, I dried and threw on my clothes before heading back to my room.

I was confused when I saw Joshua standing in there until I saw what he was doing.

"What are you doing?" I asked Joshua, rushing over to him and snatching my cell-phone out of his hand.

"Elijah, what the hell is that?" he asked in a low tone, gesturing toward my phone.

"None of your business," I yelled.

"Don't go through my phone."

"Are you getting bullied?" Joshua questioned, his eyebrows raised.

"Leave it alone, Joshua," I seethed.

"I can't," he exclaimed.

"I've been trying to give you space but I can't ignore that."

"Why did you even go through my cell-phone in the first place?" I snapped, shoving the phone in my back pocket.

"Because one of those idiots wrote something stupid on your post," Joshua explained.

"The one Ryan posted of all of us."

I hadn't even notice any of the guys from my old team comment on the photo.

"I wasn't going through your phone, just your Instagram," Joshua said.

I scoffed.

"That doesn't make it any better."

Joshua stared at me with a hard glare.

I could tell he was trying not to blow up at me but if I pushed him far enough, he would.

"I could have just gone to Dad, would you have preferred that?" Joshua asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

My glare matched his at his words.

"I'm trying to be a better brother to you, Elijah," Joshua told me, his voice soft.

"I can't let you torture yourself with what those people have to say to you. I can't."

"I'm not," I lied.

Joshua gave me a look that told me he saw right through me.

"I know you," he said.

"I know you think you deserve what those people say."

"Joshua..."

"But you don't," he cut me off.

"You don't deserve it..." his voice broke on the last few words.

I couldn't pull words out of my mouth.

My throat was dry and my eyes burned as I looked at Joshua.

He seemed so torn up and guilty.

When I saw tears well up in his eyes, I knew this was about more than just the messages I had received.

"I'm so sorry," Joshua choked out, his jaw right.

I was shocked at the sound of his voice, broken and shaky.

"Joshua, let's just not do this right now," I suggested, wanting to get away from him as soon as possible.

"I'm not ignoring this," he asserted, his voice sounding stronger.

"You can't let them do that to you."

"It's not like I can just stop it," I responded with a sigh.

"Block them. Delete the account. Do something," Josh urged.

"Please Elijah."

"It's not a big..."

"You're my brother. I love you. I can't let this happen to you..." his voice was getting shaky again.

My mouth went dry at his words.

I didn't remember a time Joshua and I had ever uttered those words to each other.

We never saw ourselves as brothers, not until now at least.

My lip quivered as my eyes burned with tears that began spilling out.

Joshua had his arms wrapped around me almost instantly, letting me cry on his shoulder.

He held me tightly, like I would unravel if he let go.

I grasped the back of his shirt and rested my head on him.

"I'm so worried something will happen to you if that continues," Joshua said in a raspy voice, his head falling to my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I worry you," I muttered.

"You're my brother, I'll always worry about you," he replied.

"Worrying about you isn't a burden, it just comes with being family."

I gripped him tighter and let out an uneven breath.

"I love you too, Joshua."

His arms secured me to him as we both calmed down.

"I couldn't ignore this," Joshua started.

"But I really am trying to stop butting into your life."

I scoffed, pulling away from him to give him a look of disbelief.

"It's not working," I told him.

"It is," he assured me with a grin.

"I know more than you think but I'm minding my business."

It wasn't hard to figure out what he was talking about.

I nodded, tightly pressing my lips together.

"But we'll talk about that when you're ready," he said, his grin turning into a satisfied smirk.

I laughed, wiping excess tears form under my eye.

"No we won't."

I could tell it pained him to not ask me about Fox but still, he kept his word and kept his mouth shut.

The two of us moved to sit down on my bed, shoulder to shoulder.

Joshua held out an open hand, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Phone," he said.

I rolled my eyes, pulling my cell-phone from my back pocket and handing it over to him.

Joshua wasted no time opening up my Instagram and blocking the members from my old team who had left me messages.

He deleted the messages and put my account on private.

"You should block everyone from your old school," Joshua suggested.

"So they have no way of getting to you."

I nodded in agreement.

Joshua and so spent the next few minutes going through my followers and blocking everyone from my old school.

"There," Joshua said with a grin, handing my phone back.

"Now you can still get memes from Ryan without the assholes bullying you."

"Thanks Joshua," I said in a soft tone.

Joshua let out a hum and didn't make any move to leave my room.

"Joshua," I started, grabbing his attention.

He turned to look at me.

"Yeah?"

"What you said that night, the night I left," I continued.

"It really bothered me. It still bothers me."

His expression softened and he looked down at his lap, avoiding eye contact.

"I know," he muttered.

"I'm not mad at you," I told him.

"But it hurt."

Joshua sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"I was just scared and frustrated," he said.

"And I took it out on you and that was messed up."

"I know."

"And I thought you just hated being here," he continued.

"But I now I know it's because you feel like you don't belong here, not because you hate us."

"Yeah..."

"You do belong here, you know," Joshua told me, nudging me with his shoulder.

I thought for a moment.

"I'm trying."

"I'm sorry for saying that stuff," Joshua apologized.

I could tell by the look on his face that he was sincere.

"I know you are," I agreed.

"I don't even know why I was so worried about you knowing about Trevor," Joshua admitted with a sigh.

"It's not a big deal," I assured him.

"I still think you should apologize to him."

Joshua nodded.

"Yeah. I should."

The hurt we both felt throughout the months I had been living here was out in the open and now that it was, it could finally start to heal.

[apollos-boyfriend]

translation:

the trial is wednesday, may 24th. the census bureau isn't interested in the creative blocks and reveals this when it doesn't even think twice during bobby's negotiation. it isn't going to accept [us] giving over the weapons for armor, and whatever information that we try to extract via giving the blocks back will be processed and mitigated in a manner that means nothing to us. but if we have a new surprise, that no one even on our side is expecting, maybe things will change. the census bureau messed up amidst the chaos and the bullshit. maybe that's the secret. the plan is to use forever's breaking of the rules like a bargaining chip to create a conflict directly between FOREVER and MYSELF, surprising forever as much as the census bureau during the negotiation, and asking full paternity of richarlyson as a form of "betrayal", showing that i'm willing to align myself with the federation and don't have problems antagonizing my friends to protect richarlyson and have him all to myself. after, the idea is for me to purposefully distance myself from everyone for a day, to create something like a castle of darkness and evil far away from everyone just to see the reactions of the census bureau/federation, code monsters, and possibly a traitor among us. if anyone decides to align themselves with me they might be a possible suspect or someone that's not reliable in the ordem. [UPDATE - DAY OF THE TRIAL] things came out a little different than i had planned, but the main plan went accordingly. instead of springing the surprise of betrayal during the meeting, i used it like an excuse over the fact that they'd lied to me and tried to blackmail me with the vivo meme to make a scene. [art by @/panyksapoo] i took the opportunity to change skins from a defense attorney to a prosecutor to add to the drama. it's a positive note for it makes me look like i genuinely have a motivation/grudge in relation to my friends and diminishes the federation/census bureau's suspicion of my motivations, it doesn't make it look like i betrayed them "out of nowhere". considering that maybe the federation canonically watches our streams to gather information, i think the better option is to do everything with a narrative arc to have a grand twist afterwards. > as it proves that my plan wasn't a lie, i left just one book signed for richarlyson revealing my plan, and didn't risk showing it on stream. > it's still risky, considering the federation maybe has access to the eggs' inventories, but honestly it broke my heart to see him said and to deceive him like this. i hope i don't regret this. i also blocked the others' access to SOFIA to see how max reactions. i don't want to suspect him, but everything in relation to her is very strange. > i'm going to avoid mentioning her existence to the federation, and if they bring up the subject, i'll try to avoid the subject. [IMPORTANT - CODES] THE CODES attacked me shortly after i "joined" the federation > "01000011" - C a code made specifically to kill me? it practically ignored richarlyson this strengthens the theory that the codes kill those that seek to keep the others on the island. > WHY DID THEY ATTACK MAX? FINAL PLAN with luck, the federation will wake me up in the same hospital they woke max up in. i'll try to persuade maximo if i can obtain more information. continue the conflict with the members of the ordem and try to please the other residents of the island with explanations like how i've noticed the lives of those on the island are better than the lives they had before, and i don't want to lose that. they don't need to be involved in this. ) > use the event of richarlyson's trial, where probably everyone will be present and watching, to reveal the information i've been able to gather from the federation in front of everyone. > this way, if they kill me/imprison me i'll become a martyr and everyone present will realize the truth of the federation.

i have not a single clue what any of this says BUT ALL I KNOW IS QCELLBIT IS NOT A TRAITOR 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥(somebody translate i beg)

[terriergirlthoughts]

to ex who cannot let things lie

i often find myself awake, sick to my stomach thinking about what you have put me through. not just from the three weeks we dated, but the five years that followed, where you constantly spewed hate and lies about me no matter what.

no matter how many months, years i stay silent, you continue to say things online about me. you say lies that i know in the bottom of your heart, you know aren’t true. empty accusations with no real evidence or even elaboration, just labels and buzzwords plastered over each other to build this big monster you insist that i am, but you never really knew me.

two weeks into becoming friends with you you were crushposting about me already. you asked me out, and i said no because i didn’t know you well enough. you guilted and grilled me about it, “well you have to let me know now if this is ever gonna happen because if not then i have to get over you.” i didn’t know what to do so i said probably.

i wish you knew that several people warned me about getting involved with you before i did. even our mutual friends. and even one of your exes, who you also abused. who you also threatened suicide and self harm to. i should have listened. but i thought maybe you’d changed. so i got to know you more, and a month later maybe, we started “dating” on christmas.

we dated for three weeks. you ridiculed me on my appearance, guilted me for my eating problems which i tried to keep to myself, and when i vented, (with consent to), you told me “well if you were skinny i wouldn’t be attracted to you”. yes you said that. you would blow up on me, telling me how terrible of a person i was for telling harmless jokes (saying “haha eat a bag o’ dicks” to a jab at my appearance). i would hang out with my roommate on nights i knew you were busy anyway and you would tell me how horrible of a person i was for not inviting you. if i didn’t respond to you you would guilt me. not just with vague posting on your blog about self harm and other grim stuff, but no you actually sent me art of you mutilating yourself and said “you weren’t answering so i got sad”. i was busy with college applications.

our relationship wasn’t all terrible 24/7, i had decent memories joking around together and drawing pictures for each other, showing each other music and stuff. in all honesty i never took it too seriously, though we said “i love you” to each other a week in. shamefully the first time i said it back i was drunk at my friends house, and it was over text. in all honesty i don’t think i loved you but i thought you were pretty cool when you weren’t freakin me out. it was high school, whatever.

but the bad outweighed the good, by far. dating you felt like constantly walking on eggshells. now, this was a long time ago, and i’m not sure what kind of person you are now, and if you’ve changed i’m happy for you and i congratulate you. but back then, you weren’t as kind as you should’ve been. i grew cold and distant, i didn’t want to be with you anymore. i broke up with you. i told you it was my fault and i was just bad at dating people and not to blame yourself, to protect your feelings. i was afraid of your reaction if i were to tell the truth. you told me you loved me more than anything and to let you know if i changed my mind, and that you’d always be there for me, that you didn’t want anyone else… then a few seconds later, you said “i wish i’d never met you, i wish my phone was lost forever, i wish i was dead”.

our breakup was as cringey as any high school break up tends to be. afterwards i offered you my friendship and tried to be kind. you blocked me on everything to protect your feelings, which i understood. still, i looked out for you in ways you couldn’t see, some you could. i wanted to be friends, genuinely, i didn’t want to hate each other, i didn’t see that as productive for either of us seeing we were in the same classes and would have to be spending time near each other anyway. i believe the worst i ever said to you after our breakup was “fuck off”.

things started going sour when you were posting about me nonstop. not just vague posting me, you were fully name dropping me to hundreds of people who knew my name. who knew who i was and my accounts. it started out with heartbreak-posting, sad-posting, which is all understandable. still i didn’t want my name involved so i asked you to stop and you did not.

months later, your posts turned very bitter, very aggressive. your friends and you joked about me dying, your friend even made a joke about a hit man killing me and you posted it laughing about it. you didn’t stop there, you made a whole separate side blog dedicated to posting hate about me. in one of them you said “DIE” over and over again. this all made me so sick and so paranoid.

months later, into the summer, you began referring to me online as your abuser. this came as a complete shock and punch to the gut to me. not only because we hardly even ever fought, and when we did it was you blowing up at me. but because i felt you had been the one mildly abusing me.

you never specified how i “”abused “”you. it was an empty accusation, no examples, no specifics, which i would have expected given how much you tended to overshare on your blog and in your art even, at the time. back in school , that year you made your final project about me and our “toxic relationship”. it was essentially a zine of you projecting the entirety of twin fantasy onto our relationship. which… was weird. but i had to stand there and listen to it and read it in front of everyone who knew it was about me. i wanted to disappear or throw up. i wish you knew what that felt like.

after the initial “abuser” accusation i could not leave bed for days. i cried constantly, i felt so fucking wronged. i had no appetite, i felt sick, it had completely destroyed me. the posting’s severity got to a point where my family noticed and became concerned. my mom told me she was going to text you from her phone and threaten legal action in hopes it would stop, from the death threats to harsh untrue accusations, none of us could take it anymore.

i even felt bad at the thought that receiving a text like that might frighten you or make you nervous. but she had made her mind up and what was i going to do. regardless of how i felt i also recognized it was warranted.

for years i would get random texts from friends showing me stuff you were saying. once you started with the ‘abuser’ stuff you didn’t stop, it had become concrete in your mind i guess.

flash forward to this year, i find out you are now referring to me as your “groomer ex bf”. how everyone in the fur community follows your “groomer ex bf” and how you were “groomed” when you were in the furry community.

i had the worst panic attack i’ve had in years. i could not stop shaking. man i thought i was going to die i couldn’t breathe. i could not believe this. the utter shock that you would even say something like that knowing it’s not true.

when we dated for three weeks, five years ago, in high school — i was one grade above you. one grade. we are barely a year and a half apart in age. you asked ME out. i even rejected you at first. we never had sex, our relationship was barely sexual at all. the most we did was draw suggestive pictures of our characters for each other. i was barely a non-virgin. we kissed a handful of times and held hands a few times.

do you… understand the weight that word holds? do you understand what that word even means??? grooming is something that an adult does to a child, preying on them for months to years, building a relationship with them to trust them so they can defile them.

to call me a groomer when it’s so painfully obvious that it isn’t true is just. an absolute new high score for you. i never thought you could outdo yourself. but you did. you keep topping it. i feel like next you’re gonna say i’m a serial killer or something. i don’t understand WHAT on this earth has you out here saying these things. but it has me in the same place i was in four years ago when you started accusing me of abusing you.

it doesn’t make me sick because i think it may be true, i know it’s not true. but the thought of other people believing you because they don’t know any better, and associating my name, my music, my artwork with something so disgusting and horrific. that’s what makes me sick.

i’ve worked so hard to build what i have now, i found myself in a community with people who i love and respect. the thought of losing all of this to someone who emotionally destroyed me for five fucking years over three weeks of nothing. that makes me sick. someone who has no problem lying to seem troubled. just like you did in high school, telling people you were “below the poverty line” when your dad makes movies and your mom home brews kombucha in your big ass suburban house. you are a privileged and sheltered narcissist and i pray to god you don’t do to anyone else what you have done to me.

[shima-draws]

It’s official: I can no longer draw

[amirahart]

Flinch || Charles Leclerc

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x (Y/N)

Warnings: mentions of abuse/flinching, mention of the French gp 2022 (yes that needs a warning), crushing, bad writing, even worse summary lmao

Summary: You and Charles are having an argument, when a sudden movement causes you to unravel your past…

Authors Note: 1. Tried to make a gif, did not go great. 2. If you have ever been in a situation like this, or you’re still going through any form of abuse, I am so sorry, you are so strong, you deserve so much better, and I am always here to talk to you if you need. I promise you I know that it seems hopeless, but it will get better❤️

Xoxo Art

He was drunk. (Y/N) knew that the moment she opened the door for him. She didn’t know why she thought that after today’s events, after his scream on the radio, after waiting for him for hours without him calling, something extremely out of character, he would show up sober. But she still hoped so.

The stench of alcohol overtook her, froze her for a second. She could do this. She could put him to bed and not think about it. All would be well. She quickly shuffled to the side and let him into her appartement, watching him and he stumbled a little bit and then fell onto the couch in a not-so-graceful move. It was all familiar to her, the entire endeavor, and as much as she was trying to assure herself that Charles wasn’t him, her heart rate still picked up.

She quickly closed the door and hesitantly walked to his side. “This is your boyfriend and he needs you right now”, she reminded herself. “This is your Charles and he needs you”. She looked at him and tried to block the memories from entering her brain.

(Y/N) sat to the couch next to him, still keeping a small distance between them. Charles was balancing his head on his arms, hiding his face. The sight broke her heart. She couldn’t bear to see him like this, so small and broken, over a mistake.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself”, she said quietly. She knew he heard that today a million times, but it was true and she still wanted to remind him of it. He didn’t react to the sound of her voice. “I am still very proud of you”, she tried again, and this time, Charles’ head snapped up.

“Don’t you get tired of this, amour?”, he asked in a venomous tone, which made (Y/N) clench her teeth and recite her mantra again. “This is your Charles, he needs you. He’s not like him”

“Get tired of what, baby?”

“Always saying the right fucking thing. Lying to my damn face”, his words took her aback. He was drunk, and she shouldn’t take them to heart, but she still did. He was never this rough with her.

“I have never lied to you Charles”, her voice seemed to get smaller.

“You did just now. Why the fuck would you be proud of a damn failure?”, his tone was getting more agressive, and (Y/N) could see that they were trotting in dangerous territory. She hated the fact that he thought of himself that way. She hated the fact that in that moment of weakness for her boyfriend, in that moment where he was breaking down, all she could think was how she was going to escape this, how to control her breathing and the best excuse to allow her to bid goodnight and hide under her covers. She hated the fact that her first instinct was to leave him at this state and protect herself.

“You are not a failure Charles. You have never been a failure and you will never be a failure. Everyone is allowed mistakes”, she started, her tone even and calculated, but Charles just rolled his eyes and scoffed, starting to pace across the living room. “It does not define you”, she tried to sound reassuring, but her voice was shaking at the way his feet hit the wooden floor, the way he was clenching his teeth. The too familiar way his nostrils flared and his hands closed into fists.

“I’m not fucking allowed mistakes, (Y/N), that’s the fucking problem”, he continued to pace across the room, his voice getting louder. “I’m supposed to be good at what I do and I ruined everything!”

“You did not ruin everything”

“I fucking did! So many people have sacrificed so fucking much for me to be able to be here, I’m just disappointing everyone. I know I am. And I know I disappointed you, which is why it’s so fucking annoying when you say that you’re proud of me”, (Y/N) tried to interrupt him, but he just kept going. “You shouldn’t be fucking proud of me. I’m a formula one driver, I’m supposed to be the best, I’m supposed to be world champion, and fucking look at me!”

“Honey, of course I’m proud of you, you’re not disappointing anyone. It happens to every driver, look at Perez, look at Lewis, even Max”, what she intended to be sympathetic words just riled him up more.

“Don’t fucking compare me to Max! I can’t stand being compared to him! Not by you! I understand he’s better, he has the championship, I get that, I don’t need that right now!”, he was practically yelling at this point, which made her breath hitch in her throat. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be here for him, not when he was drunk and angry and yelling and reminding her of everything she tried to hard to forget.

“I’m sorry baby, you’re right. Let’s just go to bed and talk about this tomorrow”, she reverted back to her old ways. Apologize, validate, escape. Apologize, validate, escape. It was always her fault. She’d rather it be her fault. She just wanted to go to bed and forget this ever happened.

Charles didn’t hear the desperation in her voice, partly because he was blinded by his anger, and partly because he was drunk. He was too into his own head to understand that he was hurting her. “We’re doing this right now! Don’t you understand that my career is important to me? I can’t afford mistakes like these (Y/N), I can’t ! Do you get that?”, he didn’t know why he was yelling. It wasn’t her fault. If anything she was the only thing making it better. She was the only person that could tell him bullshit such as « you’ll do better next time » and « I believe in you », and he would actually believe it. She was the one that could numb his pain and make him feel human. He shouldn’t be yelling at her.

“I understand, baby”, she cringed at the way her voice shook.

“Then why don’t you act like it?” Had he turned to look at her in that moment, he would’ve seen the fear in her eyes, the way she was sitting on her palms to stop them from shaking, the way she was counting each breath. But he didn’t.

“Charles, you’re drunk and you’re angry. Please calm down so we can discuss this, or this conversation stops now”

“You’re not listening to me!”, he yelled, turning around to face her and hitting the wall with his hand in frustration.

And she flinched.

He had never sobered up faster. He had never hated himself more.

Silence filled the room as the realization of what happened hit the young couple simultaneously. (Y/N) was frozen in place. She thought it was all behind her. She thought that he wouldn’t affect her life once he was out of it. She thought that his hold on her was over. She thought she was strong. No one had ever seen her flinch.

Charles retracted his arm. He didn’t know what to say. All words seemed to have left his brain except for one phrase: I made her think I would hurt her. He was disgusted with himself. He would never raise a hand on anyone, ever, and yet he was so disgusting that he made the woman he loved think that he had the capability to hurt her. He wanted to rip his arm off and burn it, as to not be associated with anything that could even be remotely related to making (Y/N) scared or hurt.

(Y/N) was the first to unfreeze. She quickly cleared her throat and stood up, heading for the door. “I have to go”, she mumbled, trying not to let her tears run down her cheeks. She hadn’t cried in a long time. She couldn’t let him see her cry. She was not ready to face the consequences.

Hearing her so broken set Charles into action. He approached her as gently as he could, still keeping a distance between them. “Je suis vraiment désolé”, he said in a soft voice, trying to prevent his own tears from escaping at the sight of her so broken. I am so sorry. He couldn’t express how truly heartbroken he was, not even in his native tongue.

“It’s not your fault baby, it’s alright, I just have to go”, her hand was on the door handle, her back facing him. She couldn’t do it. Not again.

“(Y/N)”, his voice was raw, one word holding so much emotion that she couldn’t avoid crying anymore. She slowly turned to face him, and her tears triggered his own. He fell on his knees in front of her, looking her in the eyes with such intensity that she couldn’t break the contact if she wanted to.

“Je ne te ferais jamais de mal” I would never hurt you.

They were both sobbing. (Y/N) slowly slid down, hugging her knees and letting her tears run freely. I would never hurt you. She was shaking. It was getting harder to breath, and the room seem to be getting smaller and smaller. She knew he would never hurt her. She hated herself for making him think she was afraid of Charles. She hated herself for allowing him to still have a fucking effect on her life.

Charles slowly slid next to her, and she placed her head on his shoulder. A weight was lifted off his chest as he felt her touch. He ran his fingers through her hair, something that he knew soothed her. They just stayed there for a while, both crying, until they let it all out of their system. He placed his head over hers and just kept mumbling apologies into her hair. He could never apologize enough. He could never express the regret and fear and pain and agony he felt. He promised himself that if she ever decided she would give him a second chance, he would spend his whole life trying to prove to her how much he loved her. How much he cherished her and adored her. He would never fucking hurt her. Never.

After a while the tears stopped, and came the hard part. The conversation. (Y/N) knew she could not avoid it, but she could not fathom the idea of being so vulnerable in front of anyone, even Charles. She didn’t like remembering what had happened to her. It was an admission of her own weakness, how long she stayed. It made her feel dirty, unworthy.

“I’m sorry for making you cry over something this stupid”, her voice was barely over a whisper. She didn’t know what to say. Charles heart broke for what seemed to be the millionth time tonight.

“S’il te plaît, dont apologize”, he pulled her close again, burying his face in her hair to hide the tears that were spilling out of his eyes. “Don’t apologize”, he muttered again and again.

After a long moment of silence, he spoke again. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry”, he whispered.

“I don’t cry anymore”

“Why not?”

She thought about her answer. She thought about the events of tonight and the events that took place not so long ago, but still seemed to be eons away. She thought about the memories she tried to suppress, the thoughts she tried to drown. And she came to the conclusion that the only person in the world that could possibly understand her was holding her in his arms.

« He didn’t like it when I cried », her voice was barely audible. Charles didn’t know what to say. He pulled her impossibly closer and waited for her to make the next move. « It was years ago. I was young, younger to know better. And he was just so charming. Everything he said was like music to my ears. So I didn’t think straight. We fell in love so fast, I thought it was a miracle. And it was, until it wasn’t. He was stressed and he was angry and he was drunk, oh he used to get so drunk. It wasn’t like the movies where he’d chase me around with a knife or whatever. He was just… he was so mean. I felt like I wasn’t good enough in my own house”

Charles felt paralyzed as he listened to the love of his life talk about the thing that plagued her. He had so many thoughts running through his mind. How he wished he met her earlier so he could save her the pain of going through that. How he wished he could find this guy and kill him with his own bare hands. How he wished he knew what to say or what to do to make it all better.

“But he was still sweet. Every time he would yell at me or make me cry he’d be perfect afterwards. He’d promise me the world and I used to believe it. I believed every fucking word of his. I was so fucking stupid. The word “abuse” didn’t even occur to me even after he started to beat me. I was such a fucking idiot. I never told anyone. Everyone was so happy for me. They all thought we would get married. They didn’t see what was happening behind closed doors. How he would drink and drink and then hit me cause I’d try to tell him to cut it down, or because I didn’t tell him to cut it down that meant I didn’t care about him, or how when I talked I talked too much, but when I didn’t I was mad or I was cheating on him. I think the worst part is I wanted to marry him. I wanted to trap myself into that fucking life. Cause even if he beat me and he made me cry and he made me want to rip my skin off and hide away for days, he was perfect. He was romantic and he knew my needs and he brought me flowers. He would apologize and promise that one day we’d travel the world together.” She took a deep breath. “It took me two years. Two years of my fucking life wasted living in fear. But I left. I found a job offer as far away from him as possible and came here and prayed he’d never find me. I still hate myself for it. Not just for staying so long, for letting him steal two years of my life, but for still letting him ruin me. I can’t cry without fearing that I’d get hurt. I can’t stand up for myself. I used to be stubborn, can you believe that? Now I’m not. I lost part of myself to him.” She chuckled dryly. “I spent so long trying to scrub myself clean from him that I forgot who I am.”

She tried to sound okay, but Charles immediately picked up on how painful that was to admit for her. “You, ma vie, are the bravest, most beautiful, most thoughtful and caring and funny person I have ever met. You make everything you touch a trillion times better. You are talented and exquisite and kind and so intelligent. And all of that is you. Your past does not define you, chérie, and even though he might have caused you pain, he will never be able to reach you again. And he is certainly not the thing that made you such a wonderful person”

She teared up at his words. Charles stood up, with (Y/N) still in his arms, and moved them both to the couch. They sat there for hours, talking and crying, holding each other like it was the end of the world. Most of their time was occupied by Charles whispering sweet nothings into her ears, apologizing over and over again. For not making her feel safe, for her past, for not being able to do anything about it.

He held her until she fell asleep in his arms. He didn’t dare move in fear that he would wake her - God knew she needed the rest. He kept running his fingers through her hair, promising her that it was all better, promising he would never even think about touching alcohol again, telling her how sorry he was and how much he loved her.

He didn’t know if she could hear him but he didn’t really care. He needed to tell her all this. Because for the rest of his life, he would have to live with the fact that he made the love of his life flinch.

[nangbaby]

Dear zigcarnivorous, thank you for taking the bait.

You see, I had no way of either knowing or verifying the extent of you were talking about me. But you, yourself demonstrated that you broke the first of rule of blocking.

When you block someone, you get off their blog.

When you block someone, it's allegedly because you don't want to see their words. You want to be able to view what you want to view and determine your own experience. You leave that person alone and never speak of them again. You move on.

Instead...you just showed you combed through my blog to show other people my posts after you blocked me. You didn't block me because you didn't want to see my words. You blocked me so I wouldn't know you were harassing me on other platforms. You deliberately tried to cause me anxiety by obsessive spreading lies about me.

You blocked to hide from me because you were stalking me.

You just demonstrated why blocking is bad, because you aren't using it to avoid me, but to harass me and to spread lies like this.

I have repeatedly stated I did no such thing, and you overwrite me by saying I'm lying.

See, you block me because you know I can't report this comment for harassment.

But since you think I'm lying, I can't convince you otherwise. If you're going to believe the forums and the proshippers that Nangbaby stole art and punish me for "dusty old" behavior, I'll throw you another bone and caution you to stop lying about me and punishing me for things I supposedly did years ago. That said, you've crossed my boundaries. I gave you a second chance. You threw it away. As for you, @cotaco-witch-blog.

I am not an art thief. I am not a Nazi. I explicitly stated I don't abuse animals. I have the right to not be happy that you lied and harass me with lies. According to you, I am only supposed to be positive as you obsessively throw negativity and accusations my way, since apparently, you don't believe in letting go of the past.

The only pattern is your lies. If you can't accept the actual words I wrote instead of your idea of what I wrote, there is no point in trying to reach you because you do not assume good faith.

Alright, here she is blatantly block-evading and playing blackout poetry with my post, this is great. A little too heavy handed with the irony, though #receipts

NOT THE DOT DOT DOT 🤣🤣Hmm I wonder what those ellipses represent HMMM 😆

This is why I blocked herrrrr omg lol. At least she's out here displaying that she evades people's blocks. She spun MY experience into being wholly about herself. I find it hard to believe that she could have missed what I said while cutting it up to hell.

ME: 'What's additionally wacky is, I've seen this type of behavior before. *story about other person*'

NANGBABY, I BLOCKED YOU BECAUSE I WORK PRETTY HARD TO BE UNDERSTOOD, AND I RESENT HAVING TO DO OVERTIME TO REITERATE WHAT I FUCKIN SAID BECAUSE YOUR MYOPIC ASS SAW WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE goddamn.

And stop block-evading. Familiarize yourself with Terms Of Service, 🔎 📗 you know my ass is cracking the spine on that particular tome today hon

So selfish. The subtext of my post is that: the correlation between being abusive online and being abusive in real life is stronger relative to people who don't cyber-bully. her reaction is to flip the fuck out and lie by omission...rather than self-reflect??? Mm. 🚩

She is literally impossible of self reflection. She thinks that caring for animals and wanting them to not be abused is Nazism. Either she has no idea what a Nazi is (doubtful) or she's decided to be a circus instead of a clown.

[theotheroccassionalfanficwriter]

I have a request! So Reader is curious about what Zhongli was like during the Archon war so Zhongli gives them a dream (With consent of course) where they meet Morax and reader gets fucked by him. Also Zhongli is watching too. If he manifests in the dream to join in or not is up to you.

This was the hardest fic I wrote so far because I had to think if I'd go for two dicks Zhongli or not. So anon, and everyone else, please suspend your disbelief in this fic. Yeah 4 cocks might be too much for one hole but listen as the new adage says "If there's a hole, there's a way!"

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Summary: A simple question borne out of curiosity leads you to experience a side of Zhongli that no historian had never even thought of.

It started from an innocuous question, one borne from curiosity and genuine desire to know more about him.

“What were you like, during the Archon Wars?” You had asked, the midday sun shining brightly through the bamboo leaves on the roads of Qingce.

Your hair fluttered in the soft winds, your silver bell tinkling with each step you took as it fluttered from the sides of your sash.

“Unpleasant” He had answered after a beat, he stopped observing you and looked forward, blankly staring at the road as he remembered the way he was.

Just as cold and as unfeeling as the rocks he had come from.

“Hmmm…”

Your curious tone became on the receiving end of his inquisitive look. You smiled at him, gentle and just shy of being embarrassed, “I think, you would have no patience for my usual antics. Had you been unfortunate enough to have met me then.”

“Perhaps,” Zhongli agreed but silently he thought, ‘I would have still come to like you.’

You laughed at his agreement, oblivious to his silent thoughts, “Ah~ but I feel like I would have so much fun teasing the version of you during the Archon Wars.”

“I bet you were so uptight during that time, like a stick in the mud!” You continued in playful banter, “I’d probably be the first person who’d get you so mad you’d be red in the face!”

Zhongli found amusement in the triumphant tone you held, your tone just as excited as it was when sharing theories with Miss Alice. Zhongli found comfort in that, the knowledge that even at his most scariest, and most unpleasant point in his life, you would be fond of him.

“Zhongli, do you think that if we met back then we’d be as close as we are now?” You asked him, “personally, I think that we wouldn’t be. I don’t think I would have been able to survive the aftermath of the Archon Wars.”

Zhongli paused in his walking, his joy washed away in your rationality.

“What makes you so sure of it?” He asked, ‘I would have protected you.’

You gave him a soft smile, “We wouldn’t have gotten along, I would probably punch you in the face. And then you’d get mad for the disrespect.”

Your laughter rang in his ears, as if mocking his sentiments even if he knew that your words held a modicum of truth in it. Back then, he had no qualms on dirtying his hands, no matter how gentle he tried to be, he never wavered in face of difficult decisions, always choosing the best option that would lead to victory.

How would he have reacted to you, who fought and found answers beyond what was given, always seeking a third option that would ensure a happy end. You were not meant for war, your ideals and kindness would have no place in those cruel times.

Even so, Zhongli wanted to prove you wrong.

“Then, shall we place a bet?”

“A bet?” You asked, eyes glinting in anticipation of a boon.

“Yes. I shall give you a dream, of sorts, that can transcend through time.”

“Ooooh~! Another one of those adepti arts, I presume?”

“Yes. I would let you meet the version of me before the height of the Archon Wars” Zhongli began to explain, “then if we manage to be as close as we are now, I have won the bet. If that version of me ends up loathing you, I acquiesce to your belief.”

“And what do I get if I win?” You asked.

“Whatever you wish for” He answered, eyes shining bright like cor lapis.

“Deal.”

--

The golden leaves of the gingko trees fluttered as it fell down to the ground. Morax sat on one of the edges on the numerous outcrops of Qingyun Peak. It was a rare moment of peace, there was no imminent danger that needed to be quelled. Liyue was in momentary peace. He sighed and let himself relax, enjoying the solitude up until he heard the soft sound of someone landing nearby.

In an instant he appeared before a human who wore strange clothing. He pointed his spear at them, “Speak, why do you trespass on the grounds of the Adepti?”

“Huh?” You blinked at him, slowly getting up as you patted the grass and dust off your clothes, “Damn, Zhongli wasn’t really kidding when he said you were too wounded up.”

Morax frowned at your impudence, “Mortal, that is not the way to speak to the Prime Adep-”

You raised your arm towards him, interrupting him as you offered, “Osmanthus wine! I’ll share it with you if you don’t get mad at me!”

Your wide smile, warm and inviting made him uneasy. An unknown feeling bursting in his chest as he stared into glinting eyes.

“Impudent” He said before moving to capture you and bring you down the mountain.

Despite moving at a speed impossible for a human to match, you had effortlessly evaded his hands. Your laughter rang loudly in the open field, teasing and amused. Zhongli frowned and quickly gave chase and yet you eluded him, teasing him by purposely letting him almost grab the hem of your sleeves only to speed up at the last possible second before appearing far away from him in another direction.

Frustration building up, Zhongli decided to use his geo to block your path, slowly studying your moves so as to anticipate where you would move. It went on and on, erecting stone steeles to block your path until you were caged and nowhere to run.

“Uwaa~” You panted, a mild tone of complaint seeping into your voice“How come you can’t even have tenderhearted feelings for this weak human?”

Morax frowned at your blatant lies, “No human would be able to match the speed and energy of an adepti the way you do.”

You gave him an amused smile, sweat dripping down your face, “That you’ve met. Have you ever made it out of Liyue?”

Morax didn’t answer, stony gaze boring down on you.

“Aiya~ what a tough crowd…” You trailed off and yet the smile on your face never wavered, “but if you keep up such an attitude towards me~ I’ll win the bet and have an adepti answer my whim~”

“What tricks have you done, mortal!” Morax pointed his spear at your throat.

Your smug look never wavered, “Ahahaha, I did no tricks Lord Adeptus~”

“Lies!” He denounced, “What sort of charm did you use to seduce one of my own?!”

“Seduce?” You blinked at him owlishly before a wide grin broke out on your face, “Oh, oh! You think I’m seductive?”

You pushed his spear away, sauntered to him, pressing your chest close to his, arms wrapping on his neck. With a voice dripping in honey and seduction, you whispered in his ear, “Does Lord Adeptus find me pleasing to his taste? Would you like to have a taste of me?”

Your lips moved to his exposed thoat, kissing the apple of it. Morax felt some sort of stirring within him, convinced that you had placed him in a trap, he pushed you off unconsciously gentle with his grip, “What sort of spell have you casted?!”

Your laughter, soft and oddly fond, made him uncomfortable. A feeling that he could not name settling in his bones. His chest was warm as he stared on the way the soft afternoon light shone on you, casting you in warm orange light as you laughed uncontrollably.

“No spell, just utterly charming in your eyes” You answered, fluttering your eyelids and gracing him with a smile he often found among the numerous brothels on Chihu Rock.

“Shameless!” He admonished as he took out a talisman and withit binded you.

“Oh~ How kinky~” You said with amusement as if you felt no danger.

‘Foolish mortal’ Morax thought privately as he pulled you along to begin the trek down the mountain only to stumble upon your next words.

“Does Lord Adeptus plan to have his wicked way with me then? Bring me somewhere secluded and show me the might of his jade pillar?”

“You! You! You!” Morax found himself at loss for words.

“Adepti would never stoop to such a barbaric act!”

“Oh” Your disappointed voice only served to confuse him, until you uttered your next accursed words, “I wouldn’t have minded if it was you~”

A wink sent his way accompanied by the odd motion of your lips had his face beet red. It was the first time he had ever suffered such a loss. Embarrassment gave way to anger when he heard your laughter, his hand moved to curse you until another voice stopped his movements.

“Must you resort to such means, to win our bet?”

Your smile brightened up as you saw Zhongli walk in the clearing, wearing his archon clothes. His hair swayed in the wind, gentle smile plastered on his face despite the chiding tone of his voice.

“But the appeal of having you indebted to me was too much to resist!” You answered with a jovial grin that made Morax pause.

“More of you?” Morax asked with great annoyance until he realized how much similarity he had shared with the new “guest”.

A split second was all it took before you found yourself encased in Zhongli’s familiar arms, his strong shield surrounding you both as Morax’ vortex vanquisher hit the shield. You blinked, slightly rattled but still relatively calm as if you weren’t just about to be skewered by the Lord of Geo.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked, concern evident but you remained staring at Morax.

“Zhongli~ I’m starting to understand why you think I’d get along with this version of you!”

You grinned, eyes no longer glinting with plastic curiosity. Zhongli sighed and resigned to whatever consequence would be the outcome of your action.

It took several terse talks between Zhongli and Morax to draft an acceptable contract between the two of you and Morax. All of it just to accompany Morax in his day to day life. Zhongli found himself frequently being on the receiving end of a spear, or in some cases a glower from the amount of times you had teased his stubborn and unpleasant past self.

However, Zhongli could not deny that this version of him was growing fond of you, soft even, with the way Morax would occasionally gently steer you away from the geo vishaps or the rare times he would bring you to Azhdaha to play with the large geo dragon.

Though this soft moment would always, almost, be followed by your teasing. Zhongli wasn’t even spared from your flirtatious remarks though he did have the advantage of knowing you longer, thus he was able to render you speechless more often than not when compared to Morax. But from the past few days, Zhongli could see how Morax was learning and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before you would be rendered speechless by Morax as well.

Thus, the three of you spent the days in simple fun, getting to know each other, sharing battles and each moment Zhongli spent observing how you acted with Morax brought him some sort of warmth, happiness at your acceptance and your rationality during such troubled times. It was true that your kindness would not have survived but Zhongli could see that if you truly had lived in this time, your kindness would have just taken another form, adapting and yet remaining all the same.

You were a safe haven, for him, for Morax, and for those who met you in this troubled times. A human who stubbornly remained kind, who audaciously declared that even Celestia could be wrong. This side of you that remained hidden in the present times, flourished like a well cared for silk flower.

Therefore, it really should not have surprised him to see Morax begin courting you, not that you noticed, and yet it did. Surprise and discontent warring inside him, both claiming that you were his and one discrediting his former self. He figured that the same thing was most likely happening with Morax, from the dangerous glint in the other’s eye when he drew close to you or held you by the waist.

--

Somewhere between teasing Morax and having Zhongli recount his past through the various strolls you took in Liyue Harbor, you noticed the almost possessive way Morax would act towards you, the barely kept aggressiveness directed to Zhongli whenever he would care for you or the occasional soft growls towards threats you didn’t even notice.

It was fascinating to watch him, and you made no secret of it. So a part of you couldn’t help but blame yourself for provoking a dragon. Really, what sort of person says, “I can take you” to a god of war?

“Me, apparently” You thought with great regret and annoyance as you found yourself benign subjected to the intense bedroom look of Morax.

“Can you?” Morax purred, eyes glinting with something primal and you can’t help but be entranced.

You have always been drawn to beautiful and dangerous things.

In contrast to his predator smile, his kiss was gentle but no less passionate than your previous lovers. Morax’ grip on your body was firm but gentle, bringing you close to his rock hard body. You gripped his clothes as you opened your mouth wider, letting his inhuman tongue explore your mouth.

In the privacy of his abode, you didn’t hesitate to tangle with him. Battling for dominance in the bed, a passionate dance of desire that had the dragon in him purring in delight. Morax bit your neck and you moaned in pleasure before making the split decision to bite him back.

Your clothes were askew, private parts exposed to the cold air and you returned the favor to Morax. His hair was untied and his thick cocks sprung out as soon as your hands pulled down his pants. In a fluid movement, you easily took both of his cocks inside your mouth.

Morax, who had never experienced such a thing, felt his heart quicken just as his arousal rose once more. It was a testament for his new found feelings towards you that he let his guard down and lost himself to the sensation of your tongue and mouth as it sucked him off. His hand clasped the back of your neck and held you still as he began fucking your mouth.

Your moans of pleasure made wonderful vibrations that intensified his arousal, drool dribbled down on the side of your lips as you slowly lost yourself to the haze of pleasure. His bed shook with each vigorous thrust that hit the back of your throat, he stilled inside your mouth, his cocks managing to not make gag as it spilled thick loads of cum down your throat.

Morax smirked at you and you smiled back, lazy and challenging. He laid you on the bed, body naked as the day you were born. Despite his recent orgasm, his cocks were still erect and throbbing, you bit your lip in anticipation.

Legs spread wide, exposing your hole that was calling out for his cocks with each twitch that was visible in Morax’ eyes, you were the picture of desire. Morax swore as soon as he plunged his cocks inside your tight and warm hole, you moaned feeling as if you had ascended to Celestia itself when his cocks stretched your hole. The burn, a mixture of pleasure and pain.

He moved slowly, coaxing you with sweet words as you cried out in pain and pleasure until the only feeling left was pleasure. For all of his inexperience, Morax was good at reading people and body language, and yours was the easiest he had read. It took him barely a minute before he was able to accurately tell which parts sent you to a high, which part of you brought forth more arousal.

He sucked on your tits as he thrusted into you, hitting your sensitive spot that had you moaning and begging his name. Your lustful moans felt more devoted than any other prayer he had received from his people. Your kisses felt more divine than any offering he had ever tasted.

If there had been another way to reach Divinity, Morax had no doubt that making love with you was one of them. Each touch from you sent his body aflame, each call of his name made him feel more of a god that he wasn’t.

Oh! How he wanted to drown in you for eternity until erosion came for him. He wanted you in all the ways he never understood, each particle of his cell calling out to yours, and Morax felt it too much so he poured each and every emotion you made him feel in fucking you. He fucked you as if to brand himself in you in all the ways that matter. He plunged his cocks inside you again and again, bringing you countless orgasms as you submissively let him maneuver your body however he wanted.

He fucked you from behind, thrusting hard enough to leave marks on your buttocks, spilling his seed again and again without stopping his thrusts as you came again and again.

He fucked you sideways, spreading your legs high and wide, as his mouth kissed and bit your neck, his hand pinching and twisting your nipples while his cocks slid in and out of your hole that was overflowing with his seed. He broke you apart with each round and mended you over and over again until you lost count of the times you came.

Both of you were so focused on each other that neither of you noticed the arrival of Zhongli.

And what a sight it was to behold, the way your body contorted in half as he watched Morax impale you with his cock again and again, the scent of sex heavy in the air. Zhongli felt his cock stir, quickly hardening as the lewd sounds of flesh clapping echoed loudly, he moved slowly as he divested himself of his clothes until he reached the side of the bed just as you and Morax laid on the bed, panting from the most recent orgasm.

He observed your body seeing the marks and bruises that littered it on top of the numerous drying flecks of cum on your skin. He swallowed his saliva and spoke,

“Perhaps there is room for one more?”

And your smile, inviting and sparkling at the thought of another challenge, made him breathless and helplessly fond of you all over again. The continuous and seemingly never ending cycle of him falling for you over and over again was one he would never tire of.

“Why don’t you come over and see for yourself?” You said, positioning yourself to lie on Morax as you spread your legs once more, hands going to your hole and spreading it for Zhongli to properly appreciate.

You felt Morax’ cum dribble down just as you felt his displease growl.

“I bet I can take the two of you at once”

There was no such thing as a medicine for regret, and it was one you had no need for. Not when two predatory glint brought you to a new height of pleasure.

Zhongli’s thrust was just as hard if not rougher than Morax, as if he was releasing centuries of frustrations to your abused hole, not that you were complaining. You were already lost to the pleasure of their cocks filling you and stretching you, all semblance of rationality thrown away as you begged for their cocks.

Zhongli’s cocks fucked your hole, easily slipping in and out from the cocks it had been receiving from Morax, Zhongli’s cocks were thicker but shorter when compared to Morax. Despite that his skillful thrust had you clamping and twisting as your mouth busied itself with Morax’ cocks.

Between the two of them, not a single part of you remained untouched. Your body was stained with their love, their marks littering every inch of your skin, their hands leaving bruises on your skin as you sank deeper and deeper into them. The overpowering scent of cum filled your senses as Zhongli and Morax threw away their rationality and began to fuck you like beasts in heat.

The fact that you could take them both at once, was proven true, with the way your holes relentlessly sought their cocks, how you ignored your bruised knees just to get into a better position for them. And it pleased them terribly, made them want you more. To make you theirs permanently and for as long as they breathe. It made them fuck you harder, just to reach deeper inside you, spilling their thick cum inside you until it over flowed.

You moaned, joy mixing with pleasure as you came just as they filled you to the brim. White spots filling your vision until you finally passed out. Your body remained responsive, your hole twitching as Zhongli continued fucking you through your orgasm.

Morax grinned, animalistic, as he took his cocks and smeared the remaining cum on your lips and then spreading it on your face, “You really could take us both at once.”

His cum spilled from the slight gap in your mouth, his thumb gently pushed it back inside before he turned to Zhongli, “Shall we see if they can take all of our cocks in one hole?”

Zhongli stilled as he spilled more of his cum inside, then he answered, “Let’s see how long it takes before they wake up as well.”

The two of them worked together, loosening your hole until it was able to fit four cocks inside, your walls spasmed with every thrust as your let out unconscious moans with the immense amount of pleasure from having four cocks inside you. Your unconscious and limp body was sandwiched between Zhongli and Morax, your nipples played with until it was sore and overly stimulated. The two of them didn’t stop fucking you until your stomach was filled with their cum, their cocks repeatedly penetrated you, thrusting inside you again and again until they had their fill.

Their cum created pools of semen on the bed sheets, some of it on the floor when the two decided to switch positions, trying out different positions with your unconscious but eager body until they were satisfied. By the time you woke up it was already afternoon of the next day, your body utterly sore from all the sex it went through.

You blinked and realized that there was someone sleeping beside you, a quick glance on the side and you recognized Zhongli, ‘The dream must have already ended’ you thought as you slowly got up from the bed.

Except your legs could barely stand, making you fall into the floor in a flash. You blinked, your mind not registering the pain but instead focusing on the feeling of something warm dripping down from between your thighs.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked, the vestiges of sleep clinging on his eyes, as he frantically assisted you back to the bed.

His torso was filled with scratches and bite marks. You flushed with embarrassment as you recognized the marks you left on him.

“I-just what happened after I passed out?”

“The first or the second one?”

“?”

Zhongli smiled tenderly at you, “It’s alright if you can’t remember, I’m sure another round would jog your memory.”

Like a magic trick, his words had your hole eagerly twitching with anticipation. Coyly you lied back on the bed and spread your legs, showing him your glistening, cum filled hole.

“Perhaps” You agreed with a seductive smile, “I’m sure I can take you well.”

[randomshyperson]

The Scarlet Witch Prophecy - Chapter 23 - The Witch's Cabin (Part Two)

Thanks to my gif maker and friend of course, @abimess.

Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.

Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies. || Chapter Warnings: +18, smut.

Series Masterlist ||  Read on AO3 || All Works Masterlist

Chapter 23 - Part XXIII - The Witch's Cabin (Part Two)

You weren't sure if Wanda wanted some time from you as well, as you watched her walk through the garden, sit alone on one of the benches while looking at the rocky mountains in the distance.

What you were sure of was that she was distressed. So much so, that even as she blocked out her emotions, strands of her discomfort escaped, and you felt your body shiver slightly.

Sighing, you put your hands in your pockets, resisting the urge to join her as you watched her from the balcony.

"Here, Miss." It is Charles who says beside you, with a mug of reheated tea. You raise your eyebrow in confusion, and he smiles tenderly. "I thought a hot drink would bring you some comfort." He explains, and you mutter a thank you as you accept the cup.

Charles stands beside you, watching the landscape in silence for a moment. When you take the first sip, and sigh lightly, he asks, "Did it help?"

"Not much." You reply. "I appreciate the intention, but I won't feel good over tea until she is."

It's a simple statement. And Charles just murmurs in understanding, not needing you to explain further.

There is another pause, before he speaks again.

"Then I think you should talk to her." He says.

"She said she needed some time alone." You retort, scratching the back of your head with your hand quickly, and placing the cup on the large one on the balcony. "I'm giving her space."

"Oh, I see." He murmurs. "Are you sure that the alone time included her protector?"

You give a short humorless laugh. "You know, people have weird ideas about this whole thing. We're still two separate people. Wanda can have her time without me."

"Of course she can." Charles agrees quickly. "Forgive me, I think I expressed myself badly. I didn't mean to say that you two aren't independent, or to put me on the same level as sensationalist wizards who don't know anything about ancient magic." He speaks, causing you to frown. "I only meant that it is my understanding that scarlet witches and their patrons have a special relationship. If I remember correctly, it is written that the patrons bring a profound sense of safety and comfort to their sorceresses when present."

You feel your cheeks flush, and you look away quickly. Charles doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he says nothing.

"So...do you think she'll like it if I talk to her?"

" Well, she's your sorceress, you know her better than I do, Miss Stark." Jokes the man. "Don't let an old book tell you what you must or mustn't do."

You bite the inside of your cheek, lingering your gaze on the crestfallen figure of Wanda meters ahead.

"Thanks for the tea, Charles." You mutter before starting to walk toward the gardens.

To avoid frightening her, you make a noise with your steps, but Wanda only lifts her head when you are practically at her side.

And you swallow dryly when you notice the tears on her face, approaching calmly to sit beside her.

You don't have to say anything really, and you don't mind waiting for her to tell you whatever she needs to. But Wanda just waits for you to sit down, and then she leans against your body, sinking into your embrace as you run your hands around her.

She relaxes immediately with your touch, sighing. You think Charles was right after all.

Her tears cease, drying against your shirt, and she inhales deeply against you.

“Thank you.” She whispers, making you smile shyly, as you run your fingers through her hair.

"For what?" you whisper back, half-joking, not knowing exactly what you've done.

"For staying."

You sigh, hugging her tighter as your fingers gently scratch the back of her neck, and Wanda shivers against you, before relaxing completely. "I told you I'm never leaving."

You stand like that for a few more moments, until Wanda starts to move again. She pulls her face away to look at you, and you just smile at the intense way she does so.

"I'm sorry." She says, and you frown in confusion. She straightens up before continuing, taking a deep breath, as if she is finding the right words. "With everything Agatha showed us, I finally understood that I never had a choice on my fate. And before, when I was going to erase your memory, how angry you got, I didn't understand why. Because to me, I was making the right thing, sparing you somehow. But now, I understand." She confesses quickly, gesturing as her eyes fill with tears. "It was your choice. And I don't think you would ever forgive me if I moved on without you, when you chose to stay with me. And as much as I hate how dangerous this is, and I don’t want you to get hurt, you have the right to choose to stay by my side if you want, because those are your feelings and I had no right to try to take them away from you."

You nod, sighing, and raise your hand to her face, caressing her cheek.

"It's okay, darling." You say. "I haven't been angry in quite some time. But I appreciate that you apologized."

You move closer, kissing her softly on the lips before pulling away. "I guess in the end I broke my promise about not touching you before the apology." You joke making her smile. "I couldn't help it, you're just too irresistible."

Wanda laughs shyly, raising her hands to your neck, looking at you fondly.

"Do you want to talk about what we saw?" You ask next, and she sighs, nodding.

You spend the next few minutes talking. Wanda feels bad about the whole thing. About all the lies, schemes, and about never having had a real choice. No matter what would happen, she was always going to become the Scarlet Witch. And no one asked if she wanted that.

She didn't talk about Natalya, and you respected her time.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive Agatha completely for the things she did." Wanda confesses a moment later, you two are sitting side by side, looking at the mountains. "But a part of me will never be able to hate her entirely. And I detest that."

"It doesn't bother me that she matters to you, Wanda." You say. "Even with everything that happened, she really believed she was doing the right thing. And now she's helping us. And I know you've spent a lot more time with her than I have." You clarify quickly, and Wanda looks at you with a slight frown. "I just mean that even with the pain she caused me, it's okay for you to still care about her. I won't hold a grudge over it."

Wanda nods, reaching your hand up on the bench. She entwines your fingers together, and moves closer to lean against you, resting her head on your shoulder.

"Can we stay here just a little longer?" She whispers. The sunrise is approaching. You were going to say you would stay as long as she wanted, but your speech becomes a yawn halfway through, and she laughs softly. "Maybe the bed would be better."

You laugh softly too, and Wanda squeezes your hand before moving to pull you back into the house.

When you go through the kitchen, Agatha is there. She and Wanda exchange a look, but neither of them says anything, and you just follow the brunette in front of you upstairs.

You think you'll sleep until lunchtime at least.

//-//-//-//-//-//

You grunted in pain as you fell to the ground.

"Everything okay there, Stark?" Agatha's softly teasing voice made you give a wry laugh.

"Perfect." You grumbled as you stood up, wiping the dust from your pants. "Again please, and try something stronger this time, Agatha, I think you're starting to go soft on me."

The witch laughed, raising her wand quickly. The next spell hurt more than the first.

It had been eight and a half weeks since you had been in Agatha's house.

Things were going well, if you could put it that way.

After that day when Agatha showed the memories out of the pensieve, she and Wanda were on thin ice, and no memories were shared again. They treated each other politely, with occasional sharp pins, but nothing ever too aggressive.

Meanwhile, Agatha was really helping the two of you to become better sorcerers.

You think you never learned so much magic at once, but you weren't complaining.

Even Charles was helping you with potions, a passion he seemed to share with Erik.

And with the intensity of your studies, Agatha hoped that soon you would be worthy of pulling Rowena's diadem out of the hat, but she never seemed to find the right spot, and it was making everyone slightly frustrated, even if no one would admit it.

You haven't heard from the order.

With Fury's death, the radio went silent. You believed that no one but him had been arrested, or killed, because nothing was said in the Daily Prophet. But it wasn't easy to ignore the tightness in your chest at not knowing for sure.

Now that you were practically considering yourself a master at dueling, even if Agatha wouldn't admit that you had far more knowledge in defense against the dark arts than any other witch your age, you expected her to continue the lessons in Occlumency and Legilimency that Erik never managed to finish.

"You're not ready for that yet." She replied, for the third time you brought up the subject, and you sighed impatiently.

"But professor-"

"Erik taught you the basic level of that magic, Y/N." She interrupts, moving her hands so that the objects in the kitchen begin to prepare lunch around you. Wanda is in the house library, studying with Charles, and you had spent all morning practicing dueling spells, and learning to become more resistant to them as well.

Your whole body was sore from the times you fell to the ground when you were hit by stupefy and the most common duelling spells , but it was better than being knocked out at the first attempt if you had never practiced before.

"A master of legilimency would be able to dominate the minds of an entire city at once. You're not ready for that kind of magic yet."

"But I don't need to control an entire city, Agatha." You argue back, following her through the kitchen around the house. "You can just continue from where Erik started and-"

"Enough." She interrupts by turning to you, but she doesn't look angry, just impatient. "You won't leave me alone if I don't agree won't you?"

"No."

She sighs. "I can teach you Occlumency, Stark. But I won't teach you Legilimency, it's...against my vows."

You frown in confusion, "Your vows?"

But Agatha gives you only an insinuating look, and you understand.

As Legilimency is directly considered a forbidden, and dark magic, it would break her vow to only do the right thing by the scarlet witch, her promise to Natalya.

You've never been more curious to know how Agatha got around the perpetual vow for so many years, but the way she’s back walking tells you she's not going to share that with you anytime soon.

"Charles is a master legilimens." She continues talking, moving downstairs where the library is. You in her trail. "He can teach you."

"Really? That 's great!."

As you arrive at the study room, the huge piles of enchanted books surrounding you, your gaze immediately seeks Wanda's.

As Agatha tells Charles to teach you, you approach the girl, finding her distracted with a reading. You smile at how lovely she looks, and can't help but move quickly closer, and steal a surprise kiss from her that makes her sigh.

"Hey, you." You say as you pull away, and she giggles as she relaxes.

"Hey, you." She repeats as she stops you from moving away by holding you by your arm, pulling you back to kiss you properly.

"Hey little love birds, your first lesson in Occlumency is going to be tonight." Agatha warns in a tone of teasing, as you give an embarrassed chuckle breaking away from Wanda, leaning on the pilaster next to the chair she is sitting in. "And you, Miss Maximoff, can practice your natural legilimency skills with Charles on the same schedule as well."

"Yes, ma'am." You and Wanda answer together, and Agatha gives a warning sneer before turning, squeezing Charles' shoulder gently before leaving.

The man turns to you. "Miss Stark, please do not spill mud on my parchments."

You look down to your clothes immediately. Well, it wasn't your fault that Agatha had knocked you to the ground so many times. You were a mess, and you raised your hands in a sign of surrender.

"Sorry, Charles." You mutter as you walk away. "I just came to give my beautiful girl a kiss, I'm going upstairs to take a shower. See you two at lunch."

You give Wanda a wink of goodbye before walking away, being careful not to bump into books along the way.

//-//-//-//

You grumbled softly in pain as you removed your tangled sweater, realizing that perhaps you should have asked Agatha to go easy on the spells instead of challenging her.

Distracted, you startled when you heard knocking on the bathroom door, but relaxed completely when you saw that it was only Wanda, who smiled and leaned against the doorframe, looking up at you.

"Hey, babe." You greeted her, working to remove your shoes. "Do you want anything?"

"No, I just decided to take a break from the books." She replies. "But I would like to know how you convinced Agatha to teach you Occlumency so easily." She comments in a mixed tone of teasing and impressiveness and you laugh softly as you kick your untied shoes away.

"With my charm of course." You return, making her laugh.

When you motion to remove the shirt, Wanda bites her lips. "Allow me."

You stand still then as she steps up to your front, looking at you with the same tenderness that you look back.

Wanda works on the buttons of your shirt, and when she is finished, she pushes the material away, sliding it down your arms until it falls to the floor. You blush slightly under her curious gaze, but say nothing, letting her move the straps of your bra, and then open the clasp, soon the garment falls too.

She moves her fingers down your waist, to reach the zipper and buttons of your pants, and unzips them. You move timidly to remove the item as well, taking your panties with it.

Wanda gives a soft giggle, and you look at her curiously.

"What?"

"It's nothing." She says shyly. "It's...I just realized that it's the first time I've seen you naked."

You blush, but respond. "I wish I wasn't covered in dirt."

"I wish you weren't covered in bruises." She retorts sharply, and you swallow dryly. The purple marks around your body are a result of the spells, but you don't care about that. The pain isn't exactly strange after all.

"It was worth it, though." You retort softly, and think that part of you is really referring to getting stronger, learning new magic. But the other part, the part that knows it's all for the girl in front of you, adds, "You're worth all the effort."

Wanda looks away, swallowing dryly as well. "Don't say that."

"It's the truth, Wanda." You say simply, and she sighs, straightening her posture softly.

"But you don't have to say it."

"You want me to lie then?"

"I just don't want you to say it so proudly." She retorts almost scoldingly, and you bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to argue. She sighs, and puts distance between you, turning toward the exit.

You clear your throat, and call out to her. "I don't want you to be angry." You murmur. "I can't help it to say things like this, you know that."

Her expression softens. "I'm not angry, darling." She assures you. "I'll just get a towel for myself."

She leaves before you understand what that implies. Wishing you didn't look like a complete mess, you quickly step into the tub you left ready as soon as you arrived in the bathroom, and sink against the hot water, waiting for Wanda to join you.

Wanda doesn't take long. She leaves the towel in the sink, and smiles at you before she starts to undress, right there in front of you, as if she had done it a thousand times before.

You blush, but don't look away. And she doesn't seem to mind that you follow every movement of her hands, although her cheeks redden when she has her breasts exposed in the air.

Soon, she steps into the tub with you, taking the seat in the opposite corner, smiling softly as you hug your legs, looking up at her.

"I'm sorry I said that, I know you don’t like it and I shouldn’t have." You mutter. But Wanda just shakes her head, steeling herself to move closer, her hands touching your forearms.

"Don't worry." She says. "It's the truth after all. You are my knight in shining armor, and I can't do anything to change that."

You laugh softly, and Wanda smiles, stroking your skin with her thumb.

"I want to try something." She says next, making you look at her curiously. "Something I read about it this week. Can I?"

"Of course, darling." You say, and then she is pulling your forearms gently so that you stop hugging your legs, and you sink your hands into the water, waiting, as Wanda moves her fingers, guiding you so that you sit properly, and she sits between your legs. "What are you going to do?"

You ask curiously, even half embarrassed to have her so close, but Wanda just smiles, moving her hands out of the tub, where she makes the soap magically fly to her.

"First, I'm helping you get clean, babe."

She says, dipping the soap in the water before bringing it to your skin, lathering your shoulders gently. You relax under her touch, looking at her intently.

"Can I do the same to you?" you ask in a whisper, and she smiles.

"Of course."

Wanda raises the soap at face height, and with a flick of her hands, the item doubles itself to another. You raise your eyebrow. "Show-off." You tease, making her chuckle, as she hands you the other soap.

For the next few minutes, you help each other soap up amidst giggles, and stolen glances. Wanda's touch is as gentle and affectionate as her gaze, and you are so comfortable that you don't even have time to think about how intimate the whole moment is.

As you finish washing off the soap, Wanda begins to run her fingers along your shoulders. "Will you stay on your back for me?" She asks lowly, and you murmur in agreement before shifting to obey.

Without seeing her, your curiosity makes you tense up, and Wanda smiles as she moves closer, her hands on your waist. "Relax, darling." She asks against your ear, her fingers moving up your skin slowly as you obey.

"Do you remember last summer?" She begins, and suddenly you are feeling soft twinges on your skin. It's Wanda's magic. You don't know what she's doing, but it feels good. Little shocks around your back.

You just murmur, relaxing against her hand.

"When Papa taught you about mirroring magic, I mean." She continues, her tone low and soft. "So that you could take my damage from possible attacks."

"And you were so upset about my wrist breaking when you fell off a broom that you put me to sleep in Pietro's bed." You complete making her laugh.

"But I didn't send you away because I still wanted you in my house." She retorts and you laugh in agreement.

"Yes I do, darling." You say next. "I remember everything I went through with you."

Wanda bites her lips, blushing at your statement. But she continues to talk beyond that.

"There is another kind of spell like that." She says. "Charles was reading with me a line that said If the protector can take the pain, the witch must learn to heal the pain as well. You understand what I mean?"

You sigh softly as you feel the pressure of her fingers increase on the points where you knew you were injured. But it's not discomfort that you feel. It's a different sensation, like an electric shiver that turns into a gentle tightness.

"Yeah, I think so. You'll be able to heal my wounds now, right?" You ask with your eyes closed, instinctively leaning even closer against her hand as the pressure increases, and Wanda just murmurs in agreement, concentrating on her task. "That's pretty cool."

"I still need to learn it properly." She continues. "And I don't want to have to practice."

You chuckle softly at the comment. Of course she doesn't. For her to learn to heal your wounds, you would need to hurt her so she gets to practice, and that possibility is horrible for Wanda.

"I'm sure we'll find an alternative to that, Wands." You murmur lazily, so relaxed against her touch that you begin to feel sleepy.

Wanda continues for a few more minutes, and when she finishes, she goes around your waist with her hands pulling you gently against her, making you sigh.

"How do you feel?" She asks with her face resting on your shoulder, her arms hugging you as you relax against her.

"I feel incredible, love." You reply with your eyes closed. "Thanks to your magic fingers."

Wanda giggles, turning her face to kiss your neck, her lips touching your skin softly and making you smile and sigh.

"Can I make you feel even better?" She asks as she returns her mouth to your ear, playing with the lobe between her lips and teeth, making you hold your breath. "I could use my magic fingers."

You bite back a smile, nodding. Wanda inhales softly, settling herself better against the tub.

Her hands go around your belly with her fingertips, moving upward. You gasp when she reaches your breasts, stimulating your nipples between her fingers.

You let out a satisfied murmur, and your body gradually warms up.

When your nipples are hardened enough, and Wanda has you shivering, she wraps your breasts with her full hands, pressing the flesh against her palm, and you gasp, throwing your hips forward unter water.

"Wanda." You sigh softly as she continues to play with your breasts. "Don't tease."

"I'm not teasing darling." She murmurs back, returning the gentle caress against your nipples. "I'm just getting you wet."

"Just... touch me." You whisper, starting to move back into her, the tightness in your belly growing, and all she did was touch you softly. "Please."

Wanda lets out a sigh, like a giggle, and you don't have to look at her to know she's smiling. "I didn't know you were the begging type, babe."

You grumble under the teasing, but Wanda finally lowers her hands, and you shiver in anticipation, forgetting to respond.

She runs her hands down your inner thighs, but never where you want her. And when you sigh impatiently, she chuckles against your ear.

"Say pretty please again." She teases and you feel your cheeks burn, quickly turning your face to the left, putting distance between her mouth and your ear. All Wanda does is chuckles again, but this time, her fingers go straight to where you want her, caressing your entrance and you gasp.

“M-more.” You ask but she just stands still, her fingertips against your clint while her mouth kisses your shoulder and her other hand goes up to your breast, to repeat the moviments from earlier.

You have trouble keeping your eyes open, and when you try to force her finger against you, she just moves them away with a giggle while you grumble of dissatisfaction.

“Wanda.” You warn, but her hand just rests against your thigh.

“C’mon, babe.” She says. “You sounded so hot when you said please. Do it again.”

“No.” You retort stubbornly, but your affected tone makes her smile, her fingers moving closer to your warm center but still not touching and making you clench your closed fists.

"Say, please fuck me." Wanda whispers against your ear, and you feel a sharp, tightly pulsation in your belly, sighing heavily. "And I will."

But you didn't want to give Wanda a taste of victory, even as you came so close to begging for her touch. All you did was press hard against her, your ass fitted against her hot core, and she gasped in surprise and arousal, digging her nails into your thigh.

"Cheater." She murmured breathlessly, making you smile, but your advantage was short-lived when she pressed your breast into her palm, and without any warning, slid a finger into you, entering easily through both the water in the tub and your arousal.

"Oh." You moaned loudly, one hand gripping the edge of the tub as Wanda moved slowly inside, making you squirm. "More, babe. Please."

Wanda chuckles at your hopeless tone, but obeys, inserting another finger now. It slides between your edges with ease, and you bite your lips to avoid being loud. But when Wanda presses her palm against your clit as her fingers move in and out of you in a slow, torturous rhythm, you whimper, squeezing your hands on the edge of the tub until they turn white.

"You're so tight." Wanda whispers against your ear, her hot, wet breath sending shivers throughout your body. "My sexy baby taking my fingers so well."

You moan softly, becoming even more aroused by Wanda's words. She sighs against your ear, quickening the pace of her thrusts, and you begin to feel the tightness under your belly reaching the limit.

"W-wanda... I'm clos-oh" You can't maintain a coherent sentence, thrusting your hips in the same rhythm as Wanda's fingers move in and out of you, and Wanda grunts against your ear, her fingers sinking into you.

"Show me how it feels, Printsessa" She asks and you need to concentrate beyond pure pleasure to be able to share your sensations with her. When you do, Wanda moans loudly against your ear, the hand on your breast squeezing firmly, pulling you against her and making you gasp. "Is this how you feel with me, baby?” She asks with a breathless whisper. “It’s so fucking good." She whimpers, increasing the pace of her fingers, and now stimulating both you and herself, and you use your free hand to keep yourself from screaming, knowing that the noise would attract the attention of the other residents.

"I can't hold it." You whimper, your body beginning to spasm out of rhythm with the strokes, you are so close.

"So don't." She gasps back against your ear, and it's the next second that you come, your walls clenching against Wanda's fingers, and you see stars, your loud moan is muffled by her hand on your mouth when you can't keep the gesture and clench your hands under the water.

And you are barely recovering from your orgasm when Wanda reaches hers, sharing it with you, and you moan deeply, turning a complete mess against her, feeling your body explode with pleasure again.

You stand in silence, trying to normalize your breaths, Wanda's fingers slip out of you, making you sigh, but she keeps her hand on your thigh, until she joins the two at your waist, smoothing you better against her.

"I can't feel my legs." You mumble breathlessly, your body tingling completely from the intensity of the orgasms. Wanda just gives an equally affected laugh, moving one of her hands up to push her wet hair out of the front of her face.

"Too bad, I still want to taste you."

You grunt softly, feeling your face heat up. But you sure as hell won't protest when Wanda's hands start coming down again.

//-//-//-//-//-//

“It really worked.” You murmurs impressed, as you button a clear shirt up, getting ready for having some food since you and Wanda skipped lunch, being busy with things. The bruises that you once had, are all gone. A few red spots were seen, but nothing too remarkable as before.

Wanda bites her bottom lip, kneeling in the bed, still naked. The vision was a gift from heaven you could say.

“If you feel any pain, tell me.” She asks as she watches you dressing. “I could try to ease that too.”

“You’re too good for me baby.” You commented with a shy smile, getting closer to her again. Agatha liked well dressed manners, she said. That’s why almost every set of clothes she gave you had ties, and sweaters. You and Wanda teased her about being old.

And that's why you're knotting your tie, and Wanda is unbuttoning your shirt. Wait, what?

"Hey, hey." You quickly warn, holding up her fingers, as Wanda giggles with her gaze gleaming in mischief. "We can't stay here all day, sweetheart."

"Can’t we?" She retorts in a mixed tone of defiance, making a pout that makes you want to kiss her.

"You know we can't." You retort with a smile, caressing her cheek before buttoning the buttons she has opened. Wanda bites her lips as she watches you. "I can bring you something to eat, but eventually we have lessons."

"No, that's okay, I'll come down with you." She says but doesn't move from her spot, and you raise an eyebrow curiously, but Wanda was just waiting for you to finish buttoning your shirt before pulling you up by your poorly tied tie, rising to kiss you on the mouth.

You smiled against her lips, bringing one of your hands to her neck, kissing her firmly.

"Are you sure we need to go downstairs?" She murmurs breathlessly against your mouth, and you sigh.

"Maybe another ten minutes."

It takes another half hour for you to leave the room.

Wanda accompanies you, straightening your crumpled clothes before you head to the kitchen.

Fortunately, Charles had saved some lunch for you, and between smiles and stolen glances, you ate in silence.

And when Agatha asked you to join her upstairs, for her occlumency lesson, Wanda kissed you on the cheek and wished you good luck.

Agatha's private study room was dark.

Unlike the library, or Charles' offices, which were extremely cozy.

Here, you felt almost intimidated. But Agatha seemed relaxed, and you felt confident enough with your magic to enter.

"You know the fundamentals, Miss Stark, so let's not stall." She says as she walks over to one of the cabinets, working to remove her rings and place them on the wood. "Sit back and relax. And know that I'm going to try the real thing, Y/N. Just like an opponent would."

You swallow dryly, but murmur in understanding, walking over to sit in the armchair that Agatha seems to have left ready for you.

She turns around, and takes the seat in front of you. With a flick of her fingers, one of the books on the bookshelves in the room comes flying toward her, floating in the air, open at eye level.

She grumbles softly as she reads, probably checking the spells correctly, and then the book closes and returns to the bookshelf.

"In a fight, a wizard's mind can be their greatest enemy, Miss Stark." She begins, rolling up her sleeves, and you hold your breath in anticipation. "That's why you need to protect yours as best you can."

"Professor Erik taught me a few things." You mutter, but Agatha raises her eyebrow in disbelief, and you are almost offended. "Hey, I'm not that helpless."

"Is that what you think?" She challenges. "Look closer."

You frown in confusion, and try to understand what she means.

Then you notice the other figure in the corner of the room and almost jump out of your chair.

An illusion, Agatha never sat next to you, and she disappears the same second you noticed her.

"What the fuck....?"

"Illusions, Miss Stark, will be the least of your problems if the dark lord has access to your mind." Agatha warns as she moves from the shadows of the room, her hands folded on her belly, looking at you, who was still in shock from the last trick. "But I will teach you to recognize and escape false images first."

The first lesson is not easy.

Honestly, it is so exhausting that by the time Agatha frees you, you are stumbling sleepily to your room.

You fall into bed still in your study clothes, and are almost closing your eyes when Wanda walks in.

"Hey, sweetheart, aren't you going to dinner?" She asks, but you don't even open your eyes, muttering that you were going to sleep.

Wanda walks over to you, gives you a kiss on the cheek, and turns out the lights.

//-//-//

It takes another three weeks for something to happen.

Technically, a lot has actually happened.

You have learned to break illusions, create them, protect your mind from mid-level invaders, lie in a way that rings true in your mind and fools any invader.

Agatha won't admit it, but you are a very talented Occlumens.

And Wanda, is quite the opposite of that.

Charles often comments that maybe it's the power of scarlet magic, but he''s never seen someone who could manipulate the mind of others so easily. Not since Agatha, and the witch makes a sarcastic remark, but has a proud smile as she goes out to harvest carrots.

Where you are expert at protecting the mind, Wanda is at attacking it.

She doesn't have the same strength as you in blocking Agatha, but you can't invade anyone's mind without putting in a lot of effort.

"I think it's an interesting thing, actually. " Charles comments next to you, in the fourth week of studying mind magic, with the four of you sitting in the room, and Agatha in the armchair in front of you, while you have your wand raised and try to get into her thoughts. "You balance each other perfectly, you know? Y/N can protect your mind while you attack, Wanda. It's quite useful."

"Great observation, Charles." Agatha congratulates impressed, not seeming to have any difficulty blocking you even while talking to someone else.

"Does that mean I can get inside your head through her magic?" Wanda deduces in curiosity, but didn't expect anyone to confirm, her eyes glowing red and connecting with your mind.

You choke, firming your touch on your wand, and because you were already trying the spell, you manage to get into Agatha's mind without any problems with Wanda’s magic.

A small girl is running down a hallway; it's Hogwarts.

"Freak!" " Weirdo!" are the whispers of the crowds of children she is passing through.

And then the whispers change to "watch out, she's the principal' daughter" "I heard she killed that Ravenclaw boy"

A mirror. Agatha must be sixteen now, she looks young. She stares at her reflection, and then punches the glass.

"You are a disgrace to this family." A woman says in front of her as the memory fades to another, looking at her with contempt. "A scandal like this. Our coven will recommend your expulsion."

"I never wanted to be a part of this, Mama!" Agatha exclaims in a mixture of anger and hurt. "I hate those old backward women, I want to learn everything I can and -"

The slap is loud. "Rules exist to keep everyone safe, Agatha. You're too selfish to realize that."

It gets faster, the flashes. You watch Agatha grow up, study in hiding, kiss a girl behind the candy store who pushes her away when the older schoolmates laugh, you listen to the cruel comments, watch her buy the cottage, meet new people, and many colored lights, the spells she has already cast blending throughout the memories.

"Please, daughter, forgive me" She pleads in a crying voice, but Natalya looks at her with contempt. "I will do the right thing this time, please, I-"

"Swear it."

You see a flash of the day she took the perpetual vow, her hands entwined with her daughter, and then you see more quick flashes of lost moments, until you focus on the day she was alone in Magda's house again, her hand on the cheek of baby Wanda, now asleep.

"Forgive me, I have failed again."

The memory shifts, you watch Erik crying at a memorial service, many other people dressed in black beside him.

She talked to Erik about the girl, asking if he had noticed anything strange.

Visiting a mansion, your home. You see yourself, about five or six years old, playing in the backyard with your brother, the emaciated image of your father talking to her in a low tone, delivering a letter.

More unclear flashes.

Agatha writing the acceptance letters from the school that year, the name Wanda Maximoff emblazoned on the paper.

The day Wanda and Pietro enter Hogwarts, Agatha rummaging back into her old journals and books.

Agatha starts to resist then. You see two more flashes of class, before she pushes you and Wanda out of her thoughts, and you choke breathlessly, stumbling away.

The teacher gets up quickly, aggressively throwing herself at you two, and you cover Wanda with your body immediately, but she calms down, because Charles puts his arm around her waist.

"Agatha, breathe." He asks softly, and she seems to come to her senses, shaking her head, and casting an almost embarrassed look at you, before muttering apologies and leaving the room.

You and Wanda are wide-eyed, in shock at all you have seen for long seconds, as Charles sighs and moves to organize the books you had messed up when the lesson began.

"She's going to need some time." He says turning to give you a tender smile. "But don't worry, I can continue the lessons with you two. For now, I suggest a cup of tea to everyone, and we can continue tomorrow."

"S-sure, that sounds great." You mumble awkwardly, turning your face to Wanda, who looks troubled. "Everything okay?" You whisper to her, and she forces a smile, nodding.

You won't push it, so you even squeeze her hand gently before following Charles into the kitchen for tea.

//-//-//-//-//

Agatha doesn't leave her room for six whole days.

Charles just says that she is tired, and brings her meals.

You only study next to Wanda; it's not as if you can feel guilty about something she has done to you so many times.

And then, as if no time has passed, the former headmistress comes into the kitchen in travel clothes, while you are eating lunch.

"Good morning?" You exclaim in surprise, and the teacher only murmurs with a nod, picking up an apple from the fruit tray and turning toward the front door.

You exchange a confused look with Wanda before the two of you quickly stand up.

"Agatha, where are you...?"

"Hogwarts." She replies without stopping walking, as you follow her down the hallway to the exit. "Stephen has hidden the darkhold in the spiritual plane of the castle. I'll get it, and read it to Miss Maximoff as promised."

"I-" Wanda starts half uncertain, but Agatha gestures quickly.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." She clarifies. "We'll need him to perform the ritual as well. Please help Charles with the house, and if possible don't damage my vegetables."

And on the porch, she apparated.

You and Wanda stared at the empty space for a long moment.

"What just happened?" You mutter.

"Did our spell drive her insane?" She retorts back, and you sigh, turning to go back inside, and close the door, Wanda following you inside.

"I have no idea." You say. "Let's let Charles know she's gone, and try to keep him from blowing up other cauldrons while she's out."

//-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-//

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