#I BEG YOU PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET OVER IT.

[tpwk-formula1]

Hello! I'm a sucker for menu style requests, expect more of me lol

I would like a gluten-free pizza with red sauce with roasted peppers and pulled pork, plus a mango smoothie with no dessert. All served by Oscar Piastri

I've read a couple of your fics, and they're really good! Keep it up <3

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

gluten-free enemies to lovers red sauce rough sex roasted peppers "Such a good whore" pulled pork "God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you" mango smoothie baby trapping dessert yes served by Oscar Piastri

Oscar x Fem! reader

TW mention of pregnancy, creampie, unprotected sex, fingering, orgasm description, MDNI 18+

WC 1200+

Y/N POV

"Oscar, get ready now. You need to be in the Fan Zone in less than 15 minutes and I'm not fucking sprinting there this week," I snap at Oscar after having found him asleep in his driver's room when he was supposed to be getting ready to go on stage.

"Go away, Y/N! I'll be there on time," Oscar groans back turning his back towrds me making me march over to the Aussie, where I pull him arm slightly.

"Let's fucking go. I'll be damned for you're the fucking reason I get fired," I snapped again while attempting to yank him out of the bed again.

"You do realize my pinky has more strength than your entire body?" Oscar says while looking up at me softly.

"Please, Osc, we need to go," I ask back cleanly getting desperate.

"Fine, but when I'm done I want you back in here with me," Oscar says with a small smirk playing on his lips. I just groan but agree knowing how it goes for Oscar and I.

"You know you love when I use that little body of yours," Oscar whispered in my ear as we walk towards the Fan Zone making my face grow hot but I just laugh lightly trying to play off the moment like Oscar had told a joke since did have eyes on us.

"Get on stage and behave, and then we'll see about me coming back to your room," I tell him softly while standing backstage to make sure I was close to everything in case Oscar or Lando needed something but far enough away not many people could see me.

When the boys finally wrapped up both of them head back off stage and we all quickly usher ourselves back to the garage where we could finally wrap up for the day and head back to the hotel to get ready for race day tomorrow.

"You're coming to my hotel instead. I wanna take my time," Oscar whispers in my ear making me groan and roll my eyes.

"Drop the fucking attitude," Oscar whispers in my ear before we both go separate ways.

When I get back to my hotel room I quickly change out of my McLaren uniform and into a pair of sweats and a tank top before walking out and down the hall towards Oscar's room.

I knock on the door softly when Oscar opens the door and quickly pulls me into his room and in for a kiss.

"Fuck, I've wanted to do that all day," Oscar groans while guiding me toward his bed.

When he gets me on the bed he instantly slips my sweats off leaving me in my tank top and thong.

"Holy fuck Oscar, I've been in your room less than 3 minutes, have some fucking decorum," I gasp when he leans down and takes a teasing lick at my thong-covered pussy.

"I've waited all day 'cause someone insisted work was more important than coming over this morning," Oscar says while sending a slap down on my inner thigh.

"And drop the fucking attitude," Oscar says before sending another slap down on my inner thigh.

"Osc, please," I whine lifting my hips and trying to get Oscar where I need him.

"So fucking needy! You just told me to have decorum," Oscar says with an eye roll but still proceeds to rip off my thong tearing it to shreds.

"OSCAR! That's the third fucking pair this week," I complain but am quickly shut up by Oscar's mouth on my pussy making me moan loudly.

"Just shut up," Oscar groans burying his face back into my pussy. Oscar knew what he was doing, he knew all the spots to hit with his tongue that would leave me with shakey legs and begging to cum for him.

"Oh, Osc," I scream when I feel Oscar roughly shove 2 fingers deep into my pussy making sure to graze my G-spot.

"Fuck, I love when you get close," Oscar groans making me whimper from the vibrations on my clit.

"Cum for me," Oscar says while speeding up his actions sending me into a shaking orgasm.

"Fuck," I cry out starting to try and get away from Oscar's quick and relentless fingers.

"Stay fucking still," Oscar roughly tells me while using his free hand to send a harsh slap down on my inner thigh.

"Osc, too much," I beg trying to get away only resulting in Oscar roughly pulling his fingers out and shoving them into my mouth.

"Fucking finally some silence," Oscar tells me while sending another slap down on my thigh. Oscar makes quick work of taking off his clothes and roughly burying himself deep into my pussy and giving me a few seconds to adjust to his size.

"Fuck, how do you get tighter the more I fuck you," Oscar groans when he starts rocking his hips clearly getting lost in the pleasure.

"So good, faster please," I praise and beg needing more from Oscar.

"Such a good whore," Oscar groans making me whimper when I feel his fingers back on my clit only adding to the pleasure.

"I love feeling you clench around my cock, lets me know you're just a little slut ready to cum whenever I want," Oscar tells me only speeding up his actions and bringing me impossibly closer to the edge. Oscar knew I was gonna be cumming for him if he kept up his actions so he slowed down just a bit.

"NO! Osc, please," I shout out not happy with being denied the orgasm that was so close I could practically taste it.

"You'll cum, but when I'm ready," Oscar tells me making me whimper.

"Please," I begged while trying to sneak a hand between our bodies but Oscar quickly caught both of my hands and pinned them above my head where he continued to pound into me.

"Osc, I need it," I whine again for him.

"I'll do anything," I continue.

"God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you. One second you're being a little bitch and the next you're like putty in my hands willing to do anything to cum for me," Oscar scoffs making me whine and continue to buck my hips trying to cum for him.

"Go on, cum for me," Oscar finally says while letting go of my hands and bringing one of his down to play with my clit while he brings me over the edge in a screaming orgasm.

I feel Oscar start cumming deep in my pussy making me whimper at the feeling of being filled up with his hot cum.

"God, I would love to watch you get pregnant with my child," Oscar says with a smirk while falling next to me in pulling me in for a chest.

"I would ring you for all your money," I joke with a smirk on my face only making Oscar roll his eyes.

"I would very much be involved in my child's life. But by all means you can have my bank account if you carry my babies," Oscar tells me making me shake my head. It was a conversation for another day.

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

ur writing is so yummy!! i had a rlly hot idea idk tho lol

Logan holding the reader in a headlock and absolutely ravaging them 🤤

YUMMY?? Anon this is a compliment that simply makes me want to be at your beck and call 😘 and that, my dear (gn), is a very hot idea indeed. Thank you for the ask!! I’m sorry it took me like five years to finish it 😅 (also, its not the best, I’m sorry for that too 😭) but like life is… 😀😀💪💪💀💀

Anyways.

Minors, do NOT interact.

-ps: imagine any Logan you’d like! Also, comments are highly appreciated!! Beyond that, if you have a request of your own, please fire away!

Warnings: erm, I think the request has that one covered- but smut, piv, mentions of multiple positions, overstimulation, dirty talk, slight degrading?, sweet!logan even though he’s very rough, safe words. Afab reader.

————————————————————————

As far as sex with you went, Logan had one very important rule for himself: “don’t be rough.”

For as much as a part of him wanted bend your cute little self over a table and fuck you senseless until you had nothing on your mind other than his name, he knew he shouldn’t. He was worried he would break you. Genuinely worried. After all, it might be fun in the moment but the bruises from his adamantium skeleton? You probably wouldn’t be able to sit right or walk right for a week, and that’s not an exaggeration.

That’s not to say that the sex isn’t already fantastic. He’ll thrust into you with slow yet powerful thrusts that leave you shaking with every orgasm. He’ll put you in strenuous positions- time to join up with yoga!- and set every single nerve ending on fire.

But like him, you couldn’t help but want to see him let the animal out. You’d been having wet dreams about it recently, begging him to be rough with you.

Eventually he gave in, saying that this was to be a one time thing. This took SO much convincing, and it had to be on a night where you both had nowhere to be for the next couple days. Once that was settled, he finally, begrudgingly said ok, telling you that you would have to tell him to stop if you needed to. You agreed, and that’s how you landed in your bed, already on your third orgasm simply from him roughly stretching you out with his fingers and tongue.

God does he love the way your face screws up into that pleasure filled smile with your eyes closed tight. The way your head nestles into the pillows as you try to get away from him, not because you don’t like but because it just feels too good.

“L-Logan,” you whine, clutching at his hair. He groans into your cunt at the tugging, not relenting. Your legs have been quivering since your second orgasm, and show no signs of stopping.

“Gotta get you ready for me, sweetheart. Said you wanted it rough,” he mutters, before moving away from you and settling on top of you. You whine at the loss of contact even though you’re extremely excited for what’s to come.

“You know your safe word, right?” his eyes are black with lush. You nod. “Can you tell it to me, baby?” he prods. You oblige.

“Good girl,” he mutters, stroking himself a few times before lining up with your entrance. “My good girl.”

You’re positively soaked, so it’s no surprise that Logan’s able to slip in without any resistance, immediately hitting the deepest parts inside of you. You moan loudly, already on cloud nine.

“You like that, sweet girl? Well you ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” he smirks, and that’s the last thing he says before pulling out all the way and slamming back into you, making you yelp his name with delight.

He takes you so many ways- missionary, doggy, mating press, screwdriver, the works, until finally…

He wrestles you so that your back is against his broad chest, his cock splitting you from behind as you’re forced to look in the mirror. And then one of his beautiful, muscular arms flexes, forcing you in a headlock for support but all it does is pour gasoline on the flame of pleasure he had been stoking within you.

“I love your arms, Logan,” you tell him stupidly as he thrusts up into you. You couldn’t even tell how many times you or he had come, and you’re so out of it that you can barely register your mixed releases seeping out of your tight hole.

“I know you do,” he teases through a grunt. “I seen you looking at them all the time. Thought you might like this.”

It’s the fact that he actually thinks about what you might like before doing it that makes you come yet again, and he chucked, holding you close but his pace unfaltering.

“Makin’ so many messes, dolly. That good?” he says right in your ear before nipping at its lobe.

“Yes,” you cry, overstimulated but feeling as though you’re on cloud nine.

You see your fucked out self in the mirror, but you’re far more focused on Logan. Logan who’s face is scrunched up with determination, his jaw clenched as he brings your hips down to meet his every thrust. Logan, who’s cock is visibly stretching you open with every single hard, fast, deep thrust.

It gets to the point where you don’t think you can take it anymore because it just feels too good. Your head is lulling against his chest, relying on his arm to support it. A dumb, fucked out smile rests on it. But then he starts rubbing in your puffy clit, and you cry. “Logannnn I can’t- I- it’s too much,” you pout, but he just chuckles right into your ear.

“Whats the matter? You been begging for this for so long and now you can’t take it? Poor baby,” he coos mockingly, his pace never faltering.

“Logan!” you whine, clenching on him as hard as you can. He grunts.

“You need your safe word, baby?”

“No!”

“Then shut the fuck up and take it,” he scolds, somehow maneuvering you so that you’re on your hands and knees, his arm still around your neck as he snaps his hips against your. You think your legs are going to give out, but you don’t care because it just feels too good. You’re whining his name over and over again, your cheek smug against his strong arm as he abuses your cunt.

“We should do this more often, huh? Let me fuck into you like you’re a dirty whore,” he grins, impossibly picking up the pace. You clench at his words. “You really are a slut for me, huh, baby?”

“Yes!” you gasp, your eyes screwing shut as he brings you to the edge again. You’re past the point of overstimulation, your limp body unable to fight back as he bruises your hips with his own.

“Good girl,” he praises, making you whimper again by pressing his fingers to your pathetic clit. He expertly maneuvers his deft fingers against it, and you cry, unable to keep the tears of pleasure at bay any more. He tuts, speeding up his pace in response and all you can do is lie back and take it, powerless to say or do anything. A few minute more and you come again with a weak groan, your legs fully numb. He follows suit, finishing and stilling inside of you.

“You okay, sweets?” he asks after taking a moment to catch his breath. Your brain is still fuzzy, your body limp against his. You’re barely conscious enough to register the soreness between your legs, much less his rumbled words.

“Baby?” he asks, obviously concerned.

“Mmm,” you acknowledge him. Tears are still slipping from your eyes, residuals from how good he was making you feel.

“There she is,” you can all but feel his smile. He slips out of you and you whine, your cunt weeping for him, leaking what is definitely too much cum.

“What a gorgeous sight, he meets your eyes in the mirror in front of your bed.

“Mhm,” you agree. He moves to stand, knowing that you need to rest, but naturally you pout as he gets off of the bed. “Need to get you cleaned up, sweet girl,” he says gently, brushing your sweaty hair off of your forehead.

“Kiss?” you ask sweetly, your watery eyes impossible to say no to.

“Where d’you want a kiss?” he teases, kissing your forehead. “Here?” You pout, tilting your head up toward his lips. “Oh, I see. Here?” he kisses your nose. You make an annoyed noise, and he takes pity on you. “Ohh, here,” he says, kissing you sweetly on the lips.

Because even though Logan has that power to be rough, when he loves on you, it’ll always be sweet.

[lailawinchesterr]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ sam winchester fucking you…

16+

early season!sam and how guilty he’d be to fuck you while he’s fucking ruby, 

he keeps thinking he isn’t pure enough for you but everytime he tries to turn you down you bat your eyelashes at him and he starts taking your shirt off to touch you, his hand running all over your body, removing your jeans next and he’s just staring at you underneath him going ‘fuck i don’t deserve them’.

you know about him and ruby to some extent. you don’t care, you want sam, and he’s right there and he’s grieving and he’s yours to take. after the initial shock he leans down to kiss you again before abruptly pulling away because it’s too intimate, too much. he kisses down your neck, sucking a little harder when you make a noise he just can’t fucking unhear.

he gets to your bra but doesn’t unclasp it, he works around it to show each one the attention it deserves before finally, finally, undoing the clasp and sucking on your nipples. you’re moaning so pretty underneath him and he can’t help but grind himself against the bed, just hearing your voice.

he finally decides he can’t take it anymore, consequences can go fuck themselves because he’s planning on fucking you, pulling your underwear down and he’s memorized and you’re kind of squirming, telling him to ‘hurry up, sam, please’ and he wishes he could listen but staring at you, someone he’s wanted for so long, fuck, it’s better than heaven.

but he does it. he does touch you, makes you moan louder than you ever have, fucking into you slow but so deep you can’t help but gasp his name with every thrust, begging for something though you’re not sure what, it’s just his name over and over again, and he can’t help but think that if he dies, he wants it to be at this moment, next to the purest thing he knows, inside you, maybe then he’ll be pure enough.

masterlist

should i put warning? please tell me what i should put cause i’m literally below zero when it comes to smut but i was like really craving sam and this kinda stumbled out.

[kurokawaia]

❛ NEEDY WOMAN ❜

Hatake Kakashi X Fem!Reader

WC; 3.3k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: x fem!reader, husband!kakashi, wife!reader, pregnant!reader, reader is 3 months pregnant, pregnancy, shy!reader (you get flustered easy, and timid) smut, nsfw, piv, oral -> female receiving, missionary, praise, handjob, slight? begging, pet names 'baby' 'dear' 'love' , fluffy at the end+ more

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) Please write more about kakashi😭 I love him so much I need him inside me😭 will you write for him pretty please? maybe something like, hes back from mission and his pregnant wife (third month of pregnancy maybe!) is so needy for him, but shes shy, all red and blushing mess around him - ANON

m.list | naruto m.list

Kakashi was back from a mission, and if his students were anything, they were definitely tiring. Sasuke and Naruto's banters were not for the weak. He hoped that he was blessed with a kind kid, preferably one that was a perfect mix of himself and you. 

He had been gone for a week or so, off in a faraway village. So tired from the fight with Zabuza and Haku. The only thing he was looking forward to was sleep and his pretty, pregnant wife. 

As he entered the house, it was unexpectedly quiet. He was expecting your humming voice or your excited squeal as you ran over to him. But, he was met with nothing. Although, it was quite late, just past nine o'clock, he knew that being pregnant had taken a toll on you, being away for a week without him probably didn't make it any better.

Kakashi slid open the door to their bedroom, the sight before him immediately softening his heart and a soft smile rising beneath his mask. You were curled up on the bed, propped against pillows with a book in hand, though your eyes kept drifting shut every few moments. 

Beneath the blanket, he could he the soft curve of your stomach, the baby bump getting near the fourth month, getting bigger, slowly. His smile was so gentle as he gazed at you, ever since you got pregnant, he has just been falling more and more in love with you. 

Your head jerked up as you noticed him, startled but quickly breaking into a wide smile. "Kakashi!" you breathed, setting the book aside.

"Hey, love," he greeted in a low tone, the one that always made your heart skip a beat. He walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed, placing his hand on your small bump. "Miss me?" he asked you while rubbing his hand over the bump.

You felt your cheeks burn, already flustered just from his presence. Being pregnant had made your emotions run wild, but more than that, you found yourself craving Kakashi's touch more than ever. The way his hand rested gently on your belly made something flutter inside you, and it wasn't just the baby.

"I—of course I did," you replied, a bit breathless, your voice smaller than usual.

Kakashi tilted his head slightly, eyes scanning your flushed face. "You sure? You look a little... warm."

Your blush deepened. "I'm just... glad you're back," you mumbled, avoiding his gaze. 

The truth was, you'd been waiting for him anxiously, needing his presence, his touch. But you were too shy to outright say how much you wanted him.

Kakashi's thumb rubbed slow circles over your belly, his dark eyes softening as he took you in. "I missed you, too," he murmured, leaning closer until you could feel his breath on your cheek. "And...?"

You squirmed slightly, biting your lower lip. His proximity was driving you crazy. You'd always been a bit shy around Kakashi, even after being married for a while, but now, with the pregnancy and your hormones out of control, it was even worse.

He moved closer still, one hand slipping behind your back, pulling you toward him as his lips ghosted over your ear. "Tell me what you need, love," he whispered, voice low, he knew just how to tease you. 

You practically melted, hiding your face against his chest. "I... I just missed you. So much," you admitted, your voice smal, voice muffled against his chest.

Kakashi chuckled softly, stroking your back. "Is that all?"

You whimpered softly, shaking your head. "No... I—I just... I need you," you finally whispered, your voice barely audible as you clutched his black shirt tightly, embarrassed by how needy you sounded.

Kakashi's Adams apple bobbed. Fuck. He just got back. You make him crazy, that's for sure. 

He'd sensed your shyness, your hesitancy (It was obvious though), but now that you'd said it, he couldn't hold back. He pulled back slightly to look at you, lifting your chin with a gentle finger so your eyes met his. The way your face was flushed and your eyes were hazy with desire... he wants to take you there and now.

"You're so cute when you're shy," he murmured, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before pressing his lips softly against yours. The kiss was tender at first, but as you sighed into him, it grew deeper, more intense.

You whimpered into the kiss, hands gripping his shoulders tightly, needing more, needing him. Kakashi's hands trailed down your back, hands gripping at your hips and the nape of your neck, angling your head, while his lips moved against yours, slowly, letting you set the pace.

When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath slightly ragged. "I'm here now," he said softly, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheek. "Whatever you need, I'm not going anywhere."

You buried your face in his chest again, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he murmured, holding you close, letting you take all the time you needed. "Though, love, I need to take a shower first, wouldn't wanna cause any problems."

You pull your head from his chest, lips par5ted, a devastated expression plastered on your face.  "What?" you say, a pout forming on your lips. "I have to wait."

Kakashi places kisses all over your face before speaking up, "I'm sorry, dear. I won't be long." 

His head moved down, breath tickling the skin below your ear, then the skin between, your neck and collar bone, trailing kisses down, slowly, as heavy breaths fell past your lips. 

"Don't do that," you breathe, your sentence interrupted by the stutters in your breath.

"Do what, dear?" 

"Tease me," you whimpered quietly. "Then go have a shower and leave me here waiting for you, that's torture, baby."

God, Kakashi can't get enough of you.

"I'll be back," Kakashi abruptly said, and you saw the smirk on his lips as he quickly up and left for the bathroom. 

"He's so mean to me sometimes," you huff, knowing that you're going to have to wait.

And so you waited, a long and agonizing five minutes, and you did nothing to quench the heat growing between your thighs. You knew that if you would try to sort out the throbbing, you wouldn't be able to finish. Your fingers have been rendered useless ever since Kakashi and you first had sex, and it pissed you off. 

The door slid open and you eagerly sat up and were met with the most heavenly sight you've seen after being deprived for a week. Kakashi is in a towel with beads of water over the top of his chest, his defined abs, and his white happy trail. You came to a singular conclusion, which was that you needed him so badly, you need him. 

Your cheeks burned red when Kakashi swiftly approached you, cupping your face immediately and kissing your lips. His hands move to cup the nape of your neck, the other slipping on your waist. You whimper into his mouth as his tongue pries your lips open, your hands trembling as they grab onto his shoulders.

Kakashi was unbelievably hard, the bulge was so prominent under the towel, and the friction wasn't doing him any better as he moaned into your mouth. He missed you so much, the way you tase, how you feel, how you depended on him so much for such trivial things. He wants to make you feel so good. 

"You needed me so bad, didn't you, love?" he moans agasint your lips and all you can do is moan, whimper in reply as you nod your head. "I'm here now, baby."

The towel slipped off Kakashi's waist, hitting the wood floors. He slowly moved to lean over you, the two of you now laying on the bed, Kakashi being on top of you, pinning your hands by the sides of your head, fingers intertwined while you arched your back slightly. 

Tingles were getting sent all throughout your body from the kiss, he was being so gentle yet deep. The breath was stolen from your lungs every time he moaned into your moan, and you had the same effect on him, he was restraining himself from pouncing on to you.

The heartbeat in your pussy was so heavy, so prominent as Kakashi deepens the kiss per second, you were afraid that if his t high were to take place against your cunt, he would feel how needy you are, how much you need him to pleasure you. 

And he did exactly what you were hoping for him to not do, and that was to shift his legs, which now, one of them was placed in between your own, pressed against your throbbing heat. A hopeless moan falls past your lips and Kakashi smirks into the kiss. 

"I can feel you, baby," he groans agasint your mouth.

In response, you drag one of your hands down his chest, slowly, feeling every ridge of his chest and abs, of course, Kakashi moans heavily into your mouth. He loved how you touched his body despite the scars that were littered over his pale skin. 

"N-Need you so bad, love," you stutter, your hand dragging across his happy trail, and you could feel his abs flexing agasint your arm before you teased the tip of his erect cock, a moan emitting loudly from him. 

"I know, I know, baby," he replies, pulling his lips from yours before diving into your neck, kissing and sucking your flesh while you slowly pumped his cock, smearing the precum around his tip before moving your hand down his length once more. 

His kisses moved lower, and lower until he was no longer in reach of your hand to his dick and you huffed in disappointment. However, your disappointment vanished when your eyes widened in pleasure when he pried your thighs open wider and gave sucks to your inner thighs before kissing closer to your cunt. 

A kiss to your clit was all that was needed for your hands to entangle with Kakashi's hair. "Kakashi!" you moan, thighs immediately tightening around his head, your legs over his shoulders.

A moan vibrates from Kakashi's mouth, straight into your clit and a whine emits from your lips. "P-Please," you beg quietly. "M-More."

"Mmmmm," he hums against your clit as he moved his mouth from your entrance, the vibrations causing you to gasp out in pleasure.

Arching your back, your cunt only pressed further into Kakashi's face, you just wanted to have your release, you body was aching, aching so much. You could see stars every time he curls his fingers into your sweet spot.

"Kakashi," you whine subtly, you want him inside you so badly.

"I know, baby," Kakashi speaks against your folds, nose bumping against your clit, "Gotta make sure you're all prepped for me, you haven't had me in a while."

"M'know... but please, wanna...." you quietly trail off, embarrassed to say any more.

Kakashi licks a long strip up your cunt, fingers slowly pumping in and out your silky walls. "What, baby? what do you want?" he hums, teasing you, knowing how shy you are and how embarrassed you get.

Every stripe of his tongue on your clit made your body shudder, so much so that you felt as if you were doing to pass out. "Cum, I wanna so bad," you whimper, tears filling your lash line. "Need you... i-in me."

"Alright," Kakashi replies. "Got to give my wife what she needs."

"Please," you say, your whimpers getting louder when he speeds up the pace of his fingers and tongue. 

"Kakashi," you moan out. "Feels so good."

Once more, Kakashi's nose brushes up against your delicate clit, and your grip on his hair tightened. A satisfied sigh seeps through him into your folds as a mewl from your full lips. As he sucked your clit between his lips and flicked your sensitive bud with his tongue, Kakashi was eagerly moving his head in motion to get a full dive into your cunt.

His tongue climbs up from your wet hole to your clit while you let out a moan. Your thighs tighten around his head as a result of his advances, and as you grind down on his face, a moan echoes through your clit.

Your lips were filled with chants of his name, and he relished every moment of it. Kakashi's two fingers inside your cunt began to move once more, you eyes widened, your back further arched into his face, thighs clenching tighter around your head.

"Kakashi, f-feels s' good," you moan, tears spilling past your lash line, he was making you feel so good.

His finger pressed up against that soft spot inside your walls.

"Taking it so well, you're so good f'me," Kakashi moans against you, refusing to rut his hips into the futon, this was your pleasure, not his own, for now. 

A moan arouses from you and your hips grind themselves onto his face. He let you for once have some sort of control over the situation, and he decided that if you came quicker he'll let you do it more often. "That's it," he praised.

You cry his name through broken letters, and he moves more quickly and needily, and the one hold he had on your leg tightens. Your fingers encircled his locks to prevent him from moving and force him to breathe more deeply into your folds as your tummy coil tightened.

The grunts just served to tip you over the brink, and when he pressed his tongue firmly against your clit, you let out a low-pitched scream. Your stomach coil parted, drenching his face in your cum.

With your soaked pussy flowing out from your swollen folds, he carefully withdrew his fingers. You softly mewl in overstimulation and plant a kiss on your clit before lifting his head from your thighs. 

Embarrassed, you cover your face with your hand. "Baby, why are you hiding?" Kakashi hums, pulling your hand from your face and you immediately close your eyes tightly shut, he chuckles. "You're acting like we haven't been together for years."

"C'mon, open your eyes for me," Kakashi asks gently and you do so, his clean hand moving to cradle your face. "There's my pretty wife."

There goes your somewhat composed exterior, now your cheeks flushed an even deeper red. "Hello," you whispered.

A soft laugh leaves his mouth. "You're cute, love. Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?"

Kakashi moves off the bed, thinking that you would be too tired to engage in more, he has a hand, he can deal with his own pleasure for now. Just as he was about to pick you up from the bed, you stoped him from doing so, holding his shoulders so he wouldn't move any closer. He frowns in confusion, his mind racing to wonder if you are okay or not. 

"W-Wait," you murmur.

"Yes, dear? What's wrong?" he asks, worried, of course. 

"I want... more," you continue and his eyes widen.

"Are you sure?" Kakashi replies, he was borderline shocked, you were almost never this forward.

You nod your head, lifting your head to meet his dark eyes, "Please," you beg.

"What type of husband would I be to deny you," he says into your ear, pushing your back down to the bed, making sure to be careful with your body, not wanting to cause you discomfort, you and the baby. "I'll be gentle, love."

And just like that, he holds the base of his cock, angling his tip towards your entrance. He continues to push further into you making your eyebrows furrow together in pain but the pleasure is still overwhelming your senses making tears prick at your eyes.

"Oh, you feel so good," Kakashi moan into your neck. "You're so perfect."

"You feel so good," you moan. The feeling of pure ecstasy of him fully entered you.

you feel his dick scraping across your plush walls in all the right places as he slowly exited your cunt, but not fully. Our moans and whimpers get swallowed by each other. you feel his thrusts speed up and you moan in response, your walls clenching around him causing the grip Kakashi held on your thigh and waist to tighten.

The coil in your stomach getting tighter and your moans slightly became higher. Kakashi continued to groan into your neck after he pulled away from the heated kiss.

"You make- me feel so goo- d," you say moaning throughout your sentence, "Feels so good-"

"I'm close-," He groans.

"Me too," you choke out.

you felt the coil in your stomach snap as your back arched painfully into Kakashi's bare chest causing Kakashi to groan and his arms to wrap tightly around you. After a few more pumps Kakashi came, filling your cunt with cum, letting a few more rolls of his hips into you to help ride out both our highs before he pulled out slowly, making sure not to hurt you.

He walked over to the bathroom with a warm, damp wash cloth to clean you up and after he did so, you did the same. "You're quiet," he murmured.

The sound of his voice on its own made you blush deeply causing your cheeks to burn even further. You bit the bottom lip and pushed your face deeper into his chest and hoped he didn't get to see just how much you were embarrassed as you said, “I-I'm fine.” His hand moved to your chin, softly holding it in place and lifting your face, none of you had a choice but to gaze at each other. "You sure?" He asked. "You sound incredibly..shy." You swallowed, finding it hard to speak as you had a dry throat. "I-" A pause was needed. "I’m just trying to find the words.". Kakashi chuckled softly, the pads of his thumb caressing your red cheek. "You're so adorable when you behave this way," He murmured playfully. “Don't say that,” you uttered, peering at him just to redirect your gaze back to near the wall. He moved closer to you, his lips brushed against the side of your forehead gently. "Why do you act like this, hm?” he questioned. “Tell me everything.” It kept running faster and faster in your chest which made your skin to start to tingle under his fingers. "I just… I don’t know," your voice barely audible. "I can't even. Engage in communication. I just. I get ... It is always hard to Me. To hide my face even in this stupid situation. I don’t get it." "Even now?" He raised his voice, one of them moving aside a lock of your hair away from your face. "After all these years?" You were too eager in answering, "I really couldn't help it," pressed your face into his chest, trying to get at least some distance. "You never have to conceal from me," he told, planting another gentle kiss on the top of your head, "Actually, I don't think you should. There is nothing wrong with that." His head raises your chin up for another kiss down your lips. He hesitates for a second, looking into your eyes with a gentle smile. "It’s just that… I love you so much," you finally find the courage to reply. "And your really handsome, so of course, you make me nervous."

Kakashi's grin softened into a gentle smile as he pulled you closer to his chest, leaning his forehead against yours. "I love you too," he whispered. "And thank you, baby. You're beautiful."

Kakashi’s hand slowly began tracing your belly, thumb travelling across a small area repeatedly. He was so gentle that it amazed you once more, your heart racing a little. Taking a small break, he whispered softly – as he always did, sweet. “I still can’t believe that there is a little something inside,” he said so softly, glaring down at your torso.

“It feels... surreal sometimes,” you whispered.

“I know it’s a little overwhelming,” he said, “but I want you to know that I’ll be here. Every step of the way.”

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat as you tried to find your voice. “It’s just... a lot to think about,” you whispered. “But I’m happy. So happy.”

Kakashi smiled, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “I know,” he whispered against your skin. “I feel the same way.”

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | naruto m.list

if this flops and gets no notes im actually gonna neck

[seoktized]

PLS STEP DAD JIWOONG PLS PLS IM BEGGING. step dad jiwoong who knows his daughter’s best friend matthew has a crush on her bc every time they’re studying at the house, matt is flirting with her and jiwoong decides to show him that you belong to him. one day after u and matt study session, jiwoong comes in and calls you a ditzy whore for being oblivious to matthews crush and then he fucks u and is like “matthew will ever get to see my baby girl like this” and “my daughter” and then during you and matt’s next study session, he sees the hickies on your neck and jiwoong comes into the room with a snack for you too and he has hickies on his neck as well. and well, it’s not hard for matthew to do the math…

>_< >_< >_< this is so :3333 /pos

tw: stepcest, manipulation

he’d be a lil mean.. “didn’t know my girl was so oblivious.. such a dumb whore.” he tuts while his hand trails up your thigh, swiftly pulling you into his lap. “y’know baby, matthew’s not good for you.. boys these days they only want one thing..” he trails off as he pressed his thumb to your panties.

“no- i- i don’t want to..!” you cry, trying to pull away from jiwoong’s grasp.

“ah ah princess, don’t fight.. you know i only want the best for you, hm? or should i tell matthew how much of a little whore you are? bet he wouldn’t even care..” his fingers dipped into your panties, circling your bundle of nerves.

“but that won’t happen, right? he’ll never get to see my baby girl like this.” his eyes locked on your face, watching how you bityour lip in order to suppress your whines. “daddy won’t treat you like matthew will.. let me help you out, doll.” he smiled wickedly., “you’re already so wet.. might as well let me have you, princess.”

you hesitate for a second before nodding but jiwoong tuts, “use your words baby girl.” you whine, “please touch me, daddy..” he smiles at you before moving you to straddle his lap, back against his chest.

jiwoong pushed your panties to the side, pressing his fingers to your hole. he leans down to attach his lips to your neck, kissing and biting the skin leaving hickeys all over.

“let’s get you prepped so you can take my cock, baby doll.” he mumbled against your neck, slowly pressing two of his fingers into your hole. your back arched off his chest as he slowly stretched your cunt, whispering sweet praises in your ear.

jiwoong pulled his fingers out, deeming you prepped enough for his cock. he let you get off his lap before standing up to free his cock. he leaned down, pulling your panties down your legs and tossing them off to the side. “look at this pretty pussy.. so wet for me.” he smirked, his hand coming down lightly on your cunt.

your hips bucked as you yelped, legs closing instinctively at the strike. jiwoong’s strong hands quickly pulled your legs apart, hooking them on the back of your knees and bringing your body closer to his.

he let one leg go, using that hand to stroke his thick cock before aligning it with your entrance. “you ready, baby doll?” jiwoong asked, pressing the tip to your entrance as he waited for your response.

“y-yes. i’m ready, daddy.” you replied and jiwoong smiled, “good girl.” he pushed his cock into your awaiting hole, bottoming out in one go.

“fuck, baby. you’re so tight-” jiwoong groaned, his hands gripping your legs tightly as he moved his hips slowly. moans and whines left your mouth as jiwoong continued to stretch you out, slowly finding a rhythm the two of you enjoyed.

once you were fully adjusted, you let your legs wrap around jiwoong’s hips while your arms went around his neck. he leaned down, once more latching onto your neck as he fucked you deeply. “daddy ‘m gonna cum-!” you cried, your back arching into his chest as your orgasm neared with every thrust.

“go ahead, baby. let daddy make you feel good—fuck— cum all on my cock, princess.” he groaned, his grip tightening as he felt himself growing close as well. he moved up, capturing your lips in a heated kiss while he moved his hips faster, trying to make you two cum.

you detached from the kiss when your orgasm hit, instead moving to sink your teeth into jiwoong’s collarbone as you shook in his hold. you replicated jiwoong’s actions earlier, sucking and biting jiwoong’s neck.

jiwoong came soon after with a groan, pulling himself out before cumming on your stomach. “let’s get you cleaned up, dolly.” jiwoong said as he kissed your forehead, picking you up to take you to the bathroom.

next time you had a study session with matthew, jiwoong purposely wore a button down with a few buttons undone, displaying the bite marks and hickeys you gave him.

he proudly walked into your bedroom, bringing a light snack for the two of you, making sure to catch matthew’s reaction to the marks.

before he left, he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, secretly winking at matthew before leaving the room, leaving poor matthew dumbfounded. <3

[moeswriting]

mine | 3. we'll never make my parents mistakes

pairing: young!no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

chapter summary: you and joel are finding things out about each other’s pasts and figuring out how to deal with your presents,

or meeting sarah miller and the after effects

warnings: THIS CHAPTER EXPLORES SOME VERY DARK THINGS BUT IS ALSO VERY SOFT, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION AND PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS; discussion of maternal suicide/postpartum depression, alcoholism, and parental neglect (reader); joel is 22 and reader is 20; reader is described a small amount (has hair, able-bodied, wears feminine clothing, is going to school for secondary english education, has a heavily-detailed background); joel being The Single Dad™; character joins the army, conversation about a dead father and general daddy issues for the Miller brothers, including military PTSD and fraternal death from lung cancer; tommy being a little shit; HEY THESE TWO IDIOTS HAVE SEX!!! (not explicit)

word count: 11.5k

a/n: happy late birthday to my favorite fictional boy, have some trauma <3 this has been a long time coming (u see what i did there? ;) ). to all who have been begging me for the next chapter in my inbox, this is for you <3 . again, just wanna say: please read the warnings on this chapter. i am not usually a “traumatize my characters” kind of writer, but i was feeling feral while writing this over the past few weeks and it kind of just happened… so be warned. (i’m sorry in advance)

series masterlist | last chapter -> | next chapter ->

read this chapter on ao3

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together

And there's a drawer of my things at your place

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded

You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

✦ ✦ ✦

November 1994

It’s a couple days later. A Tuesday. Arguably the worst day of the week and a day that he’s been dreading since the text had graced his flip phone that night.

“... we need to talk”??

It sent shivers down his spine, made him want to run and hide, and never leave his apartment again. Talking wasn’t really Joel’s strong suit– sure, he could sweet talk Mrs. Nelson into giving him a better tip, but talking about how he felt? God, it was like dragging his toddler around a store when she wanted to go home– frustrating and near-impossible.

You’d texted him afterwards, making plans to meet at the diner when his shift was almost over to talk. But the past two days had been an absolute blur.

Sarah had noticed her dad’s change in demeanor and had decided to follow him into it, nonstop crying and small fists banging on the floor and his chest and anything she could take her anger out on. It made sleeping borderline impossible. He has had to sit in her small bed with her laying on his chest until she wore herself out the past two nights.

But here he is, at his usual Tuesday shift just after the lunch crowd has dispersed and he’s hiding in the kitchen while Don gives him a lecture about something that he’s honestly not listening to. He does, however, catch the sound of the bell ringing as someone walks into the diner and then he hears your cheery voice as you speak to someone.

“Go out there, there’s a customer,” Don says as he cleans the grill.

“I–” He cuts himself off. He doesn’t want Don to know about what’s about to happen.

The burly man looks up at him, nearly a foot shorter than him and he still scares the crap out of him sometimes, “It’s your girl, isn’t it?”

Joel clears his throat and sighs, “Yeah.”

“You two been fighting?”

He shakes his head.

Don slices his hand through the air as if to push Joel’s gesture aside. “Bullshit. I can tell.”

“Wha–”

“You been actin’ different. I’ve known you almost four years, Miller. I could tell when you started datin’ her and I could tell yesterday when you came into work that something was wrong.”

Damn Don and his out-of-character perceptiveness.

“Go face her, Miller.” He nods once, a finality to it.

“I-”

“Get out of my kitchen, you coward!”

He pushes him out of the swinging doors and into the dining area. When he sees you, he freezes.

✦ ✦ ✦

You arrive at the diner at three and sit in your usual spot by the window that no one else likes but you. It’s bright. You think maybe that’s why no one likes it, but you adore the way the reflected light warms you down to your toes. It’s quiet– weirdly quiet, like even the building itself is getting ready in anticipation for whatever is about to happen. The only other patron is Mr. Cassini sitting in a corner with a cup of coffee cradled in his trembling hands. You wonder where Doreen is.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Cassini,” you yell across the diner.

His face lights up, like it always does when he sees you, “Hello, dear! How are you doin’?”

“Oh, I’m doing as good as I can. How about you?”

“Oh darlin’, I’m doing amazing. Best I’ve felt in years.”

You smile at him, “That’s amazing, Mr. Cassini.”

“Oh, look at me talkin’ you up when you probably have work to do. I’ll let you get to your studying.”

You huff, “Thanks, Mr. Cassini.”

You can hear clattering coming from the kitchen. You suppose that’s where Joel is, or where he’s hiding. You’d tried to get a grasp on how Joel was feeling about all of this when you had been texting him to make the plans to meet here after his shift. Text messages aren’t very good at communicating emotion, but you couldn’t get yourself to call him– face him.

“Get out of my kitchen, you coward,” you hear Don yell in his obnoxiously loud way, a deep chortle following Joel as he exits the swinging doors.

He freezes like a statue, eyes wide and brows raised. Tired is the word that comes to mind– he so obviously hasn’t slept right in days. Bags under his eyes, shoulders slouched, skin paler than his usual tan glow. Maybe he’d seen a ghost.

He looks at you with his evaluating stare. You always wonder what Joel sees when he does this. Does he know how terrified you are?

Turning around, he points a finger towards the counter and grabs a clean glass from the cabinet behind him. You sigh, sling your backpack over your shoulder, and get up to go sit where Joel directed you to. He likes it when you’re closer to him while you visit him at work, especially if it’s slow and he’s bored, but when you need to study or do homework, you sit at the booth by the window– less distractions, you tell him. Really, you just know you won’t get any work done if you have easy access to him and you like the noise of the diner while you’re studying.

He doesn’t turn back towards you until you’re already settled in the tall stool, backpack precariously balanced on the seat next to you. Sliding the glass across the counter towards you, now full of iced tea exactly how you like it, he sighs.

“Hey, sugar.”

His nervousness surrounds him– hand pulling through his sweaty, messy hair, lidded eyes darting around the diner in an effort to find something to distract himself with, teeth worrying his bleeding lower lip between them. 

“Hey,” you breathe out. In a way, his nerves comfort you– you’re not the only one.

“I got another few minutes before Don will let me out.”

“I know, Joel,” you mutter.

“Gotta wait for Dorreen to come back from her smoke break too.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

He leans on the counter, facing you, “I’m nervous.”

You give him a soft smile, “Me too.”

“Good. Good.” He nods to himself, pushing a straw towards you from the apron around his waist.

“Miller! I need more coffee,” Mr. Cassini’s gravely voice echoes through the empty diner, making Joel jump up from his position on the counter.

“One second, Mr. Cassini–” he holds up a finger directed at you– “I’ll be right back. Gotta do a couple things before I leave.”

You know. You nod.

You pull a book out of your bag, The Secret Garden, desperate to avoid the awkwardness of the quiet. You absorb yourself in the story of Mary as she explores the hidden garden her new caretaker’s late wife once walked, dead and gray. It’s the millionth time you’ve read it– page corners bent and the spine cracked in multiple places. The pages are a dark yellow, almost matching the deep color of the faded cover. On the front page, the name Virginia swirls in a beautiful cursive right above your own name in your not-so-delicate print. The ink of her fountain pen is a deeper black than the one of your ball-point, faded by the twelve years it had sat on the page.

A hand pops into your field of vision and taps on the page of your book, “Ready to go.”

You hum and stash the book into your bag, between your hardback textbooks so it gets better protection from the mess that is your bookbag.

You watch Joel pull his apron off and stuff it under the counter, exposing the parts of his jeans that have gone untouched by the mess of his shift. The square outline around his crotch almost makes you giggle, but you bite your lip to suppress it.

He comes around the counter and, without looking in your direction, pushes open the front door. Following behind him like a puppy, you quickly do the same, throwing your backpack over your shoulder.

He stops suddenly, turning around, looking for guidance.

You sigh, “Let me walk you home.”

“No–”

“What direction is it?”

He looks you up and down, a habit you guess he learned from trying to determine if he needed to make Tommy back down from a fight or not. His hesitation is so blatant, bringing his hand up once, twice, before he points in the opposite direction from the route he takes to walk you back to your dorm. Of course, he was going out of his way to bring you home. That is the most Joel thing you could think of.

“Let’s go.”

You start to walk, determined steps taking you down the street. You turn to look at Joel over your shoulder and he hasn’t moved an inch. Your footsteps falter.

“Really?”

He huffs out a breath, “I– I just–”

You shrug your arms up, exasperated, and slap them back against your sides, “What, Joel?”

“I don’t… I’m not ready to do this yet.”

What?

You furrow your brows and squint in his direction through the waning sunlight.

“What in the world are you talking about?”

He runs a hand through his curly, sweaty hair, sucks in a large breath, and slurs his words together in one long exhale, “I’m not ready for you to meet her yet.”

Oh. Oh.

“Joel, that’s not– that’s not what I was trying to do. I just wanted to walk you home.”

Now that he’s admitted his secret to you, that other part of him no longer hidden, everything about him is so obviously catered to a four-year-old. His expressions are controlled, but also so kind and open, like he’s keeping his real feelings at bay but wants to make sure you know that you can tell him anything and he’ll listen. His shoulders are hunched over from hard work, but he never falters, he always shows up for you, for Sarah. He’s nervous in everything he does, whether he shows it or not, but he would do anything to make sure his friends and family get whatever they need. He’d fight a bull for you if you asked him to. He’d tear the earth in two for his baby, you can tell.

This is the same Joel you’ve come to like. He hasn’t changed into a whole new person just because you learned he’s a father. He was a father the whole time you’ve known him, which is weird to think about. What else didn’t you know about him?

You continue, dragging your feet back to him, “I would never, ever try to force you into anything– especially when it comes to your daughter. I have no right to demand anything.”

“I do want you to meet ‘er.”

“I want to meet her too.”

“Someday. I jus’… not now. I need to make sure we– I wanna make sure we’ll last before I introduce someone else into her life.”

“And I agree with you.”

“Good.”

“Yup.” You kick a rock in front of you.

You both stare at each other, waiting to see who will break the silence first. 

Joel tilts his head in the direction he had originally pointed in, “Can we go somewhere to talk?”

You nod. 

The two of you walk in silence to a park down the road. You wonder if his apartment is near.

There are a few benches scattered around the park, surrounded by flowers and shrubs alike. A playground is busy with children as they scream and chase after each other with smiles on their faces.

He flops down on a bench facing a water fountain, far enough from the kids that you’re pretty sure they won’t hear you.

You sigh, pressing your palms into your eyes as you join him, small flakes of wood on the old bench press into the backs of your thighs.

“I’m upset that you didn’t tell me right away– I just want you to know that.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Apologizing is good. An explanation would be better.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He crosses his arms, staring out at the glaring sun, “‘Cause I didn’ want you to run.”

You scoff and scuff the concrete beneath you with your sneaker in emphasis, “What makes you think I would’ve run?”

His eyes dart over to you. He gives you a look that screams, “Are you seriously asking me that?” Eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched.

“‘Could tell you were nervous when I first met ya. And I knew you were young and in college and most college-aged girls aren’t interested in gettin’ in a relationship with a dad.”

“Oh, I know for a fact that that is not true,” you huff, mirroring his position– slouched, arms crossed. You knew plenty of women your age who would love the stability and the experience– knew Elaine had had a few chance encounters with DILFs she had met at the bar. She claimed it was some of the best sex she’d ever had.

He scoffs, “Whatever, you know what I mean.”

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, I do.”

Rubbing his hands together, he continues.

“I wasn’t tryin’ to keep her from you forever. I was always going to tell you.”

You flatten your lips into a line. “Yeah, well, it would’ve been nice to know from the get-go.”

He’s looking you in the eye again with a genuinity and softness and places a hand on your thigh. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll stop apologizing for that for a long time. I just– it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

You sigh, placing your hand on top of his, a smirk starting to take over your lips, “I’m not going to say it’s okay, but I might be willing to forgive you.”

His eyebrows quirk up, “Might be?”

You fix your posture, now sitting taller than him, and look down into his pretty eyes, “You take me out again and I might be willing to look past this indiscretion.”

He opens his mouth to speak again, but you interrupt before he gets the chance, pointing a defiant finger in his face– “But–! You have to promise me you won’t keep shit from me anymore. We gotta lay it all on the table. I’m not going to do this with you unless you’re honest with me.”

He nods, “I think I can do that– both of those.”

You nod, “Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

He fixes his slouch so that he’s level with you again, his hand never leaving the comfort of your own.

“But, y’know that means you have to be honest with me too.”

You furrow your eyebrows.

Turning his hand so your palms face each other, he laces your fingers together and squeezes. “I know you’re hiding stuff from me too. Big stuff.”

You hum. 

“Why won’t you talk about your family?”

Well, shit.

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut, “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’... but we don’t have to do this right now.” His eyes are wide with fear, scared he might have pushed you too hard. Maybe he has. But, it’s weird, for the first time in your entire life, you want to share things about your past.

“No, it’s okay. Might as well,” you reply, taking your hand out of his and rubbing your eyes aggressively with your palms.

Without looking up at him, you start, “I– I don’t really have much family. It’s just pretty much been me and my dad since I can remember.”

“You said your dad lives back in Seattle, right?”

“Yeah. He uh– he isn’t my favorite person. That’s why– that’s why I don’t talk about him.”

He doesn’t say anything, giving you time to think about what you’re going to say next.

“My mom died a couple weeks after she gave birth to me. She– she, uh–”

It’s hard to spit it out. To talk about it. Only a few people knew about what really happened– the rest all just knew she was dead. But you know that Joel should know– know why this is so hard for you.

“She had postpartum depression really, really bad. Couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t shower, couldn’t eat, couldn’t feed me or hold me or look at me– Dad says she was like a statue, like a ghost of herself.”

You can’t get yourself to look at him– can feel the guilt running down your spine and into your bone marrow like it always does when you think of her. You hide your face behind your hands, elbows leaning on your legs.

“She had been so excited. They both were. Just out of college and newlyweds– dad says her pregnancy was the best year of their relationship.”

You gear yourself up for what you’re about to say. You’ve only ever told one person about this before: Elaine, and that was after a year of friendship. You’ve only known Joel for a little over a month. But, you want to tell him– need to tell him.

“But she– she killed herself. Didn’t leave a note or anything, she was just… gone.”

You can’t see his face, don’t want to. You’ve seen enough sympathetic eyes to last a lifetime of grief. “Oh, sugar…”

You shake your head in your hands– you’re not done yet. “Dad was pretty much gone after that. I never remember a time when he was ‘there’, but my grandmother said he used to be different– ‘more alive’.

“I knew he blamed me before he ever said it. He’d drop me off at my grandmother’s house and disappear for days and when she died and that wasn’t an option anymore, he would just leave me at the house with a ten dollar bill for food for a couple days at a time.”

He scoffs, like  your father could hear his anger from here. “That’s not fair–”

You cut him off, you don’t want to hear one more person say your life isn’t fair, “And when he was home, he was angry all the time. He has his good days, but he– he’s not my favorite person.

“So, that’s why I was scared when you told me about Sarah,” you continue, “Because I– I don’t exactly have a good track record with the whole ‘family’ thing. And I don’t… I don’t really know anything about being a… maternal figure.”

You can’t say “mom”. Can’t think it.

It takes a moment of stunned silence for Joel to reply, but when he does, he lays a hand on your shoulder, “Baby, I… I wasn’t askin’ for you to jump into being a mother. I wasn’t… I wasn’t even asking you to be a mother at all. I just wanted you to know my priorities, because if this relationship is gonna continue, you have to have a relationship with my daughter.”

“I know.”

“But, I understand now. Thank you for tellin’ me about your mom.”

You sigh, closing your eyes and leaning your head back on the bench, “Thank you for listening and being patient with me.”

You can feel him looking at you, hear the smile in his words. “I’d wait forever for you, sugar.”

Your cheeks heat up, eyes wide open, and turn to him. The look in his irises tells you that he’s being completely genuine.

“Anyways, I gotta go. I’m not tryin’ to get away from you or this conversation, but my momma has to get home.”

You nod your acknowledgement, standing up. He holds a hand out for you to take and you pull him up from the bench, but you don’t let go– you guide him towards the exit of the park and then he takes the reins from there, leading you in the direction of his apartment.

“Your mom watch her when you’re at work?”

“Yeah, Tommy does too sometimes when he’s not gettin’ his ass beat in alleyways after school,” he rolls his eyes. 

You huff out a breath of amusement, “Well, that’s very kind of them.”

You squeeze his hand. It’s calloused from hard work and dry from the hot Texas weather. His larger fingers engulf yours.

“Tell me about her.”

He starts to shake his head, “Oh, we don’t–”

“No, no, I want to know about her.”

He’ll always take an opportunity to brag about his baby girl.

In the few minutes walk, he tells you about Sarah. How she turns five in July. How she smiles with her teeth, showing off her two front teeth that they just pulled. How he very unsuccessfully pulled a Tooth Fairy heist, which resulted in him having to admit to his daughter that the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real. How she looks just like her mom, but is just so beautifully unique in her own way. How her hair never cooperates with him, so he has to take her to the salon down the street so they can braid her hair. How she likes pink the most and requests the same pink butterfly hair clips every morning despite the large collection of hair accessories she’s amassed. How he loves her with everything in him.

You arrive at your destination, or at least you think so, as you approach a small bakery and Joel takes out his key.

“I rent the apartment above the bakery from the owner. She has a house with kids and a husband so she doesn’t need to stay here, and she’s an old family friend, so she lets Sarah and I stay up here for fairly cheap.”

You smile, “That’s very kind.”

“Yes, but she loves to come visit way more than she’s actually welcomed. She likes Sarah a lot, I mean, most people do because she’s a great kid, but y’know…”

He suddenly perks up, holding his hands up in a “stop” motion.

“Wait– stay here.”

You watch him run up the stairs two at a time, before the door closes behind him. You stay in your spot.

He comes back down the stairs with his seashell in his hand– the gray one with the brown stripes, the one he had so proudly presented to you two days ago on the beach. The one he told you was simple, didn’t need to be flashy to get the job done. The one that was so obviously him that it hurt to think about the last couple of days of avoiding him, of the time wasted.

You cradle it in your palms and look up at him through your eyelashes.

“I’m sorry,” you mutter.

“For what, sugar?”

“For making you think I didn’t want you.”

He sighs, grabbing your wrists and pulling you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

“Don’t be sorry– wasn’t your fault. I got lots of things to work on, and so do you. We jus’ need to communicate better, like you said.”

You nuzzle your head into his chest. He smells like leather and freshly-cut wood.

He feels like home.

“Yeah, we do.”

✦ ✦ ✦

December 1994

It’s the middle of December when your 21st birthday rolls around.

Elaine throws a party in the basement of your dorm building, approved by your RA as a “floor event” for the end of the semester (which in a way isn’t a lie because most of your dorm floor is there anyways) the day before your birthday. You had convinced Joel to come too, all of your friends swooning over him and winking at you when you introduced them to him. He’s blushing the entire night.

But on your actual birthday, Joel takes you to his apartment for the first time, dropping Sarah off at his mom’s house for the night.

When you first walked in, you think that even if you hadn’t known this was Joel’s apartment, that you could’ve easily picked it out in a lineup. The ceilings are vaulted, popcorn textured walls that are painted an off-white that makes the space look larger than it is, a kitchen off to the right and a bedroom door straight ahead. There’s a painting of horses that Joel has described to you before above the mantle in the living room, it was his dad’s. You can tell he’s cleaned up, because all of the pink toys that he told you were usually scattered all over the floor for him to stub his toe on, which he did constantly, are neatly piled in a basket in the corner of the room. The couch is old, sagging in the middle, but it looks comfortable because of all of the quilts thrown all over the back.

After a dinner of your favorite food, which Joel painstakingly made to perfection, he guides you to the living room couch and hands you a present.

It’s a big cardboard box with a purple bow stuck on top. Before you can even think about opening it, he takes the bow off and puts it on top of your head.

“It’s for your birthday and Christmas ‘cause it’s a pretty expensive gift, and y’know I don’t make a whole lot at the diner, but I think it was worth it.”

You open the box with a smile and what sits waiting for you is a pair of cowboy boots. And they are beautiful.

They’re made of a thick leather that feels smooth beneath your fingers as you pick them up and cradle one of them in your hands. It’s heavy in your grip, sturdy and obviously well-made– stitches tight and leather buffed. The sides are a light purple with white sprigs of lavender stitched into the leather.

“They’re work boots, so they're steel-toed and waterproof. I treated the leather already, but you can bring ‘em to me every couple months and I’ll do it again. Figure that you needed shoes that weren’t your half-destroyed Converse and I love my boots, so I thought, you know, maybe you’d like a pair too,” he chuckles stiffly, carding a hand through his hair.

You’re speechless, to the point that you can’t even point out that he had implied a future two months from now where you’re still dating. There’s about a hundred words you want to say to him, but none of them seem good enough.

Gently placing the boot back in the box and on the floor, you stand up and move in front of Joel and in-between his thighs. He’s looking up at you with wide eyes and you want to devour him whole.

“What’re you doin’, sugar?”

You climb into his lap and smirk down at him, “Lookin’ at ya.”

He grabs the outsides of your thighs and squeezes them, “Oh, really?”

“Yup,” you pop the ‘p’ with a smirk, throwing your arms around his neck. Pushing yourself further into his lap, your nose brushes against his.

If someone asked you what your favorite thing about Joel was, you would tell them that it’s his eyes. Those defined crows feet that kiss the corners of his gorgeous honey-brown irises are enchanting– evidence of a life, so far, well-lived.

You adore him. You–

“I love you.”

He pulls back slightly with wide eyes.

“I– sugar, you don’t have to say it if you’re not ready.”

That’s so like Joel– to think he doesn’t deserve this.

You weave your fingers into the curls that stick to the back of his neck and your smirk turns into a smile, “I’m ready and I love you.”

You nudge his nose with your own and lean in, lips connecting in a simple peck.

“I love you too– so much, sugar,” he whispers, pressing your lips together again.

“Thank you for the boots, Joel. They’re beautiful.”

“I hope it’s okay– gettin’ you one gift. I… you know I’m not exactly the richest person in the world.”

“Oh baby, is that why you’ve been picking up all those extra shifts with Tommy?”

“Yeah,” he draws out bashfully.

You kiss him again, “Miller, it is more than okay for you to give me one gift. In fact, it would’ve been okay if you hadn’t gotten me anything. Just you being here is enough for me.”

“Oh, really?”

He sighs, squeezing your thighs again, pulling you in closer until your chests touch. You can feel him beneath you. Your cheeks heat up.

“Mhm.”

It’s gentle, the way he lays you down on the bed, legs hanging off the edge. He stands between your shaking legs. Your body is buzzing with the electricity of the moment, as he looks down at you with hooded, black eyes– hungry and soft.

He takes his time kissing up your body, starting where your skin is exposed at the top of your pajama pants and making his way up, up, up, in between your heaving, clothed breasts, shirt long gone on the living room floor, and finally up to your lips. He pecks them once and sighs, arms bracketing your head.

He says your name sternly, “Are you sure you want to do this? Because you know, I am very okay with waitin’.”

You look up into those eyes, the ones you fell in love with first, and you know. You know this is what you need.

“Please,” you whine, hips stuttering under his.

He holds your hip down with his large, sturdy hand and speaks softly, “Baby, I need a yes or no.”

“Yes, yes! I’m ready, Joel, please.” 

With all the energy you have left in your buzzing and needy limbs, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss that says all the shit that’s always left unsaid. You’re my other half, I don’t think I can live without you anymore, I am yours, You are mine.

And it’s gentle, because that’s who Joel is. A father, a caregiver, a lover– he is gentle. He takes care of you, loving you down to the tips of your fingers, taking his time to savor the taste of you. It’s not perfect– there’s both of your awkward giggles while Joel pulls the condom on and your hisses as he goes a little too fast– but, to you, it’s perfect in all the ways it matters and you’re seeing stars multiple times before Joel finally finishes with a loud and gorgeous moan.

After Joel wipes you both down with a warm washcloth, you’re laying in his arms, playing with the wispy, brown hair just below his cheekbones and he’s humming in delight like a cat purrs.

“I love you,” he whispers, eyes closed.

“I love you, too,” you whisper back, kissing his chest just above his heart where you wish you could burrow yourself forever. Moving out of this bed is tomorrow’s problem. Today, you can pretend that you’re nestled in his heart chambers as his breaths slow and he falls asleep with his arms wrapped around you in a tight embrace, like even in his sleep he has to keep you close enough to feel your breaths, make sure you’re still next to him.

✦ ✦ ✦

March 1995

It’s not until three months later that Joel agrees that it’s time for you to meet Sarah. You’re not sure why it takes him so long to make that decision, but you try not to think about it too much or else you start to panic and you promised Joel that you would trust him more and this is one of those moments where you just need to tell your brain to ‘shut up’ and trust him. So, you trust him.

It’s a Friday evening. You pick him up from the diner and walk the short trip with your hands intertwined. You can feel the sweat pooling on his palms, despite the cool spring weather, but you don’t let go.

You’ve been to his apartment before, many times in fact, but it’s so different when it’s not just the two of you. Walking into high-pitched giggles and the low groan of the old stand mixer that usually sits dormant on Joel’s counter is odd, but it feels right– like this is how it’s always supposed to be.

Your heart is racing. He pulls you into the apartment and you see her for the first time.

Her light brown curls bounce, confined near her temples by the two butterfly clips in them, as she jumps up and down in her sparkly pink, plastic, princess heels that clack obnoxiously on the tiled floor of the kitchen. She’s wearing a pink, long-sleeved shirt– the red top of Elmo’s head just barely peeking out of the top of her jean overalls. Her tawny-brown, chubby cheeks are pulled taught by her unending smile. She looks just like the numerous pictures Joel has shown you with pride in his eyes, but now, in front of you, she is real.

And it doesn’t scare you. It excites you.

“Papi, is that you,” you hear a graveled, feminine voice cut through the static-filled radio that’s attached to the underside of the cabinet.

And now you’re scared.

Not only is Joel’s little girl in front of you, but so is his mother. Her dark brown hair, already graying at the roots despite her young age of forty-five, is pulled into a braid that runs all the way down to her lower back. She has a blue dress on with intricate white floral designs on the skirt, long and flowing. It moves gracefully as she glides around the kitchen. In a weird way, it is so obvious that Joel is her son.

Sarah’s eyes light up when she spots her dad, hands flying over her head.

“Daddy!”

Joel’s nervous demeanor is quickly discarded, leaving a smile in its wake.

“Guppy!”

She runs to her father, heels clacking and hair bouncing, and slams into his calves. Wrapping her arms around his legs, she squeezes with a grunt. All Joel does is chuckle at her violent affection.

From her position attached to her father’s legs, she turns her head towards you with her eyebrows crossed and a frown on her face, “Who’s that, Daddy?”

You sit on your calves to get down to her level and tell her your name with a smile, “It’s really nice to meet you.”

You’re good with kids. It’s why you wanted to be a teacher in the first place, besides the joy you got from sharing your knowledge. You used to babysit for your neighbors constantly (which was a good way to make money, but also an excuse to leave the house when your dad was having one of his really bad days). So, you should be good with Sarah. Right?

Joel nudges her off of him and kneels down to her level as well, “She’s my girlfriend.”

He doesn’t beat around the bush, doesn’t talk around it, because his little girl is smart and he wants to tell her the truth.

She looks you up and down suspiciously with her big brown eyes, “Girlfriend?”

“Yeah, baby. She’s my friend that I kiss sometimes.”

Her face scrunches up in disgust, “Ew!”

You copy her expression and whisper, “It is kinda gross sometimes.”

She looks you up and down with her eyebrows furrowed. For a second, you think she might be offended by you calling her father gross; based on what Joel has told you about her, you thought she would appreciate a joke at her dad’s expense, but maybe she didn’t when it came from someone she didn’t know–

Her face lights up and she starts to giggle, hands pulling at her father’s shirt.

“You’re gross, Daddy.”

He looks down at his clothes, covered in grease and sweat and laughs, “I guess I am.”

“I wonder how I can get clean,” he draws out, tapping his chin as if in deep thought. He scoops her up into his arms and starts to rub his face and hair, covered in grime from a long shift at the diner, all over her overalls.

She screeches, her laugh boiling over and filling the little living room. Her smile is radiant.

“Daddy, put me down!” She pushes at his shoulders with her tiny hands, which, of course, doesn’t move Joel an inch, but she continues pushing as hard as she can.

“But, you said I was gross! I’m just trying to fix it!”

“You’re makin’ me gross!”

“What?!”

She looks desperately over at you, grin taking over her chubby face, and reaches for you with the arm that isn’t restrained by Joel, “Help!”

“I’ll help you!” You stand up, grab her arm, and pull lightly, making sure not to hurt her.

“He’s too strong,” you cry out dramatically.

Her voice bounces as Joel jostles her around, “Ask him to stop! Politely!”

She adds “politely”, as if she’s repeating a mantra she’s held close to her heart. It’s endearing and it makes your heart ache for the kindness that Joel has taught and shown his daughter.

You oblige her. “Gross man, can you please let go of the princess?”

He stops suddenly, placing her down on the ground with a stomp of her feet. She prances away from him and over to you, hiding behind your legs.

“Anything for the Queen,” he salutes to you and looks at Sarah with sympathy in his eyes, “I’m sorry, Princess. I thought that you wanted me to get clean.”

She giggles again, wiping her hands down the bib of her overalls, “Daddy, you have to get clean in the shower!”

He throws his hands up in the air, “The shower?! Why didn’t you just say that?”

She copies her dad, throwing her hands up in the air, laughing still.

Turning to you, she curtsies, emulating lifting a skirt with her hands, “Thank you, kind lady for saving me. I’ll ‘emem- ‘emember this.”

She struggles with the word ‘remember’, nose scrunching as she knows she isn’t saying it right, but can’t quite get the syllables around her tongue.

“Anything for the Princess,” you curtsy back at her with your real dress.

Silent up to this point, Joel’s mom finally decides to put her two cents in.

“I like your boots, mija.”

You look down at your feet and see those gorgeous cowboy boots with the embroidered lavender sprigs and the lavender leather on the sides and you’re reminded how much Joel loves you– that this is a moment to celebrate, not to ruin with your overthinking. Joel adores his mother and Sarah– it is a privilege to meet these people.

“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Miller! Joel got them for me for my birthday.”

She smirks and winks at you, “I know, I helped him pick them out.”

She throws a towel over her shoulder and pops a tray in the oven. Joel and Sarah are talking behind you in soft voices. You can’t really make out what they’re saying, but you don’t really mind. Whatever made Sarah the most comfortable in this situation is good with you.

“Well, they’re beautiful. Thank you for helping him.”

Shutting the oven door with her hip, she pulls another tray from the counter and places it on top of the stove. She does all of this while making direct eye contact with you, like she is so familiar with the space that she could move around it with her eyes closed.

“I help papi with whatever he needs and he doesn’t know the first thing about what a girl likes– that’s why I buy all of Sarah’s clothes… and don’t call me Mrs. Miller– makes me feel older than I am. Call me Essie.”

Your face heats up, “Okay, Essie.”

“Momma–”

“You–” she points at Joel, stern look on her face– “are late.”

Joel looks so guilty, you almost think he’s killed someone. “I’m sorry, Momma. Don kept me later than usual.”

“Only reason I’m mad is that you took my time away from meeting your beautiful girl.” She walks up to you and hugs you.

Oh.

You stiffen, not because the hug is unwelcome, it is very welcome, but because you can’t remember the last time you’d been hugged by anyone but Elaine and Joel– by a mother.

And you can feel all the softness of a mother that you never got to have pour through her and to you. You know she knows about what happened to your mom; Joel tells his momma everything, but you hadn’t expected her to be this kind to you. Because you’re you, of course you had expected the worst, that she would hate you, tell you to get away from her son, tell you that you weren’t good enough, but here she is, showing you all the gentleness that she had taught her son to show others. You relax into it.

An embrace can say a thousand words, and you think this one says a thousand and one.

You can feel the heat on your face climbing further down and into your chest, straight to your heart.

“Sorry, Momma,” he mumbles.

She lets go of you and you feel the loss of her. You hope that she’ll show you her kindness again– you crave that affection.

“It’s okay–” she grabs your face and puts her forehead to yours– “You’re here now.”

Her dress swishes behind her as she returns to the kitchen to continue her cooking.

“Thomas is coming over,” she yells, her voice cracking slightly at the end with the effort.

Joel’s eyes go wide, “What?”

Sarah screeches, jumping up and down, which just seems to be her blanket response to excitement, “Uncle Tommy!”

Essie laughs, her whole face lighting up with the force of it, “Your brother wanted to meet your girl.”

You’ve heard lots of things about Tommy from Joel: how he gets regularly arrested for starting fights with people, how determined and head strong he was, how much he loved Sarah, and how massive of a flirt he was. At 17-years-old, Joel’s younger brother was a huge pain in his ass, but he loved him regardless.

“So he invited himself?”

She shakes her head, “No, toro, I invited him when I told him my plans for today before he went to school.”

“But–”

A knock on the door interrupts his protest. There’s the jingle of a key and then the door slams open with a kick.

“Hello, brother!”

Joel’s face falls into a blank stare, “Hello.”

Sarah, ever the aggressive greeter, runs to her uncle with a scream, “Tom-Tom!”

“Sarah,” he yells as he picks her up and spins her around in his arms. Her screeches turn into rambunctious laughter.

Tommy is a handsome young man. He has the same unruly brown curls that Joel does, but his are more structured and lay more securely on the top of his head, unlike Joel’s where it cascades down to his neck. Big, brown eyes and strong, dark eyebrows make him look more innocent than he actually is. He’s got a flannel and a stained wife-beater on.

“Nene, I told you to dress nicely,” Essie yells, leaning out on the entryway to the kitchen.

Tommy’s confident look quickly fades from his face, the same guilty look his brother had just sported taking over, “I’m sorry, Momma.”

She hums and goes back to the kitchen.

“Shit,” tumbles out of Tommy’s mouth.

“Sh–” Sarah starts to repeat, before Tommy claps a hand over her mouth. You can hear her giggling from behind his hand.

“Tommy!”

“Sorry, man, I didn’t mean to– ack, gross,” he exclaims as Sarah licks his palm.

He deposits her onto the ground and she runs into the kitchen, screaming. He rubs his hand on his dirty jeans.

“Tommy. This is my girlfriend,” he sighs, telling him your name, which Tommy repeats as he takes your hand in his (not the one that was just licked by Sarah) and kisses your hand.

“Well, seems you already know my name, sweetheart. It’s a pleasure to meet you after all these months of Joel talkin’ ‘bout ya.”

What you wouldn’t give to be a fly-on-the-wall when Joel talked about you. You knew he’d never speak badly of you– he never spoke badly of anyone, including Tommy–, but you were curious what he could possibly be saying to them, especially the young man in front of you.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Tommy.”

He drops your hand lightly and looks over at his brother. You think you see him wink, but you’re choosing to ignore whatever you just saw. You do, however, see the blush crawling back up Joel’s neck, as you turn back to him.

Joel takes your hand in his. You lace your fingers through his and squeeze lightly, an acknowledgement of his social awkwardness.

“Well, I’m gonna go see if I can help Momma with dinner, see if she can forgive me for dressin’ like an idiot.”

Joel’s lips form a line, “See ya.”

“Oh, brother, you’ve outdone yourself. Don’t know how you managed it.” He points to you, turns on his heel, and walks to the other room.

“I’m sorry about him,” Joel mutters, eyes downcast to the floor.

You shrug, “It’s okay. He seems nice.”

Guiding your shoulder towards him so that you’re fully facing him, he kisses your forehead, “Tell me if this is all too much, okay? Meetin’ my whole immediate family at once is a lot.”

You shake your head, “Joel, I am honored that I get to meet them. It’s a little overwhelming, but I can handle myself– don’t worry about me.”

“Okay, sugar,” he sighs into your hair.

The rest of the night goes off without a hitch. Sarah spends the whole meal screeching and throwing food at her dad. Tommy spends the whole meal laughing at Sarah throwing food at her dad. Joel patiently reminds Sarah that she’s not supposed to throw food, which, of course, she doesn’t listen to and continues to throw food at her dad. And you and Essie are in your own little world, discussing everything from your schooling to how she grew up in Columbia, but met Joel’s father when she moved to the States in 1970. She is an amazing listener and an engaging storyteller, face clearly displaying her emotions as she tells you about her brilliant life so far.

Joel tells you on your walk back to your dorm that he’s pretty sure that his mom likes you more than him now. You joke that you like her better than him too. He groans, “My momma’s gonna take my girl from me.”

“Your girl?”

“Yeah, sugar, my girl.”

✦ ✦ ✦

April 1995

“Are you ever gonna hang out with me again,” Elaine whines, watching you pull a flannel out of your closet and stuff it in your bookbag next to your books that you’re bringing to study with. It was Joel’s, but it was starting to lose his scent and you were going to demand he wear it tonight so that the leather smell would seep back into the fabric.

“Lane, we hang out all the time.”

Hair fanned out below her in a halo of sorts, Elaine lays on her bed with her head off the side, feet in the air. She scoffs and throws her hands up in exasperation.

“No! That’s not true! You are never here on the weekends anymore and that’s when all the good parties are going on.”

You deadpan, “When have I ever gone to parties with you?”

“You went to some parties!”

“I went to one party and left an hour in because I got completely overwhelmed and started crying after one drink.”

“Okay… but that was freshman year and I bet you could hold your booze much better now that you’re legal.”

“Elaine, baby, sweet girl, love of my life, I do not want to go to a party.”

She pouts and crosses her arms, “Yeah, you wanna go hang out with your boy and his four-year-old all weekend.”

You clear your throat and mutter, “Actually, Sarah is staying with her abuela this weekend.”

Elaine gasps, flipping around and sitting up on all fours, “No fucking way.”

“Yes fucking way,” you reply flatly.

“You are going to be in Joel’s apartment all weekend. Just the two of you.”

“Yup.”

“All by yourselves. For an entire weekend.”

“You just said the exact same thing twice and my answer is still yes.”

She bounds over to you and grabs your face in her hands, “Oh, my sweet baby, you are getting your brains fucked out all weekend, aren’t you?”

“Good god, Lane,” you shake her hands off her face and continue your packing.

She hops in place a couple times, her wild hair doing flips as she does, “You are, aren’t you?! Oh my god. This is so great, I cannot wait for you to tell me every detail when you get back.”

You glare at her for a moment and shake your head, “Fine.”

She shrieks, throwing her arms up in the air and running around your small shared room like she’s doing a victory lap.

Pumping a fist in the air, she flops backwards onto her bed and stares at the ceiling, face suddenly serious. But, you’re used to this by now, her mood changes like the wind– she has some of the most intense ADHD you’ve ever seen.

She raises her hand up.

You sigh, “Yes, Elaine?”

“I have a question.”

She sits up again, hands fidgeting in her lap, “What are you gonna do about Joel when you go back to Seattle for the summer?”

“I–” Oh.

You’d been thinking about summer break constantly since the moment you started dating Joel. It’s been a looming threat over everything you two have shared over the past 6 months, a near-constant reminder that you’ll be leaving to go back to your dad’s house in less than a month. You’d just pushed it to the back of your mind. No one ever mentioned it, so you just never brought it up.

But now that Elaine is here, sitting in front of you, confronting you with something you’ve been avoiding for months, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

“I don’t know.” You sink down into your desk chair, bag slapping on the tile at your feet.

“You really like him– don’t you, baby girl?”

You nod, staring at the floor. Two years of living in these dorms and you’d never noticed how uneven the tile was. You feel your heart beating in your ears.

“You know, you could stay with me and my parents this summer?”

“No, no, I don’t wanna bother them.”

She purses her lips, “Well… I kind of already asked them and they said that it was okay.”

You gasp, turning towards her, “What?”

“Yeah, baby, it’d be like a whole summer of sleepovers, except y’know, you’d have your own room.”

Elaine’s parents were cattle farmers. They owned a small ranch just outside of Austin with a wide expanse of land and multiple small houses throughout. Elaine didn’t live with her parents– she lived in her own small farmhouse about a quarter of a mile down the dirt road that ran through their property. You’d been there before; it was beautiful.

And not having to go back to Seattle: that would be great. If last summer was any indication of your dad’s excitement at you coming home, you had been dreading what this summer would bring.

But here’s an out. A way to avoid your father and his horrible rage. A way to stay near Joel and Sarah. A way to celebrate Sarah’s birthday with her in July like she’d been begging you to.

“Maybe.”

She grins, hands still fidgeting in her lap, but more aggressively like she’s trying to hold herself back from a big reaction to your “maybe”, which you both know just means “yes”.

“Thank you.”

“Don’ even mention it, baby. You’re the love of my life– I couldn’ bear another summer without you.”

Later that evening you're talking to Joel in his apartment over dinner, candles lit between you, Joel snug in your favorite flannel of his. You tell him about Elaine’s idea. He insists that you take her up on her offer. You send her a text that you’re going to stay. She replies with, “!!!” and then another text a few minutes later that reads, “go get sum, bb ;)”.

You make sure Joel can’t see that text.

When you’re done with dinner, you’re doing dishes together. He’s washing, you’re rinsing and drying. When you have dinner here, you switch who does what task– it keeps it fair, that’s what Joel had said when you started coming here a few months ago.

You can’t believe it’s been months with this amazing man. It makes you giddy: that time seems to pass so quickly with him.

He’s been quiet– well, more quiet than usual today. You think it might just be that he misses Sarah, but that theory quickly becomes dust when he finally starts to speak.

He clears his throat and breaks your comfortable silence.

“Talked to Tommy today.”

“Oh, yeah?”

He sniffs, “Yeah.”

“And what exactly did you two talk about?”

You know Joel and Tommy have never exactly gotten along. When you’d met Tommy the month before, that had been blatantly obvious. Joel loved Tommy. They both knew it– they’d never say it out loud though. But, their “talking” usually involved Tommy rambling about whatever he wanted and Joel grunting every other sentence so that he knew that he was still listening.

“He, uh– he says he’s gonna join the army.”

Your head whips towards him, “What?!”

He flattens his lips into a line and sniffs again, nodding.

“Was he fucking with you?”

That wasn’t an uncommon occurrence with Tommy. He regularly said things he knew would make Joel upset just to mess with him. Once, he had told Joel that his girlfriend at the time was pregnant just after his 17th birthday. Joel didn’t talk to him for a couple weeks after that.

He shakes his head, putting the sponge down into the lukewarm water.

Exasperated, you sigh, “Did he say why?”

“Says he wants to honor Dad or somethin’.”

You’d had discussions about Joel’s dad before. They were few and far-between, mostly because it was obvious that his father made him uncomfortable. He had died just six months after Sarah had been born– lung cancer caused by twenty-five years of smoking a pack a day, according to Joel.

Mark was a Vietnam veteran, left home at 18 to join the war effort. He’d met Essie when he was discharged with a prosthetic limb and a purple heart in 1970. Joel doesn’t know exactly what had happened to his dad in Vietnam, but he knew it was bad. He would wake up in the middle of the night to his dad screaming in his sleep– telling someone to move and then begging God to let his friend live.

Joel says he was terrified of his father, that he treated him like a “man” before he was old enough to have coherent conversations. What that meant was beyond you, but you understood that he wasn’t ready to talk about it and you were willing to wait. You would always wait.

“Do you– do you think he’s going to do it?”

He sighs, massaging his temples, “’M not sure. He… seemed pretty determined.”

Picking the sponge out of the water, he goes back to scrubbing, but now he’s doing it rougher, sponge squashed in his hand, dish squeaking aggressively. His eyebrows are scrunched together and you think you see a glint of something shiny in his eyes.

“Miller, what’s going on in that head of yours?”

He hands you the plate he was maiming to rinse and dry. You do so as he collects his thoughts.

Two more dishes are washed and dried before he says anything.

“Dad was a lot more gentle on Tommy than he ever was on me. He treated Tommy like his son, but he treated me like a soldier. Tommy had a dad, I had a General.”

He avoids eye contact with you as he continues.

“I think Tommy idolizes him too much, especially now that he’s gone and he never really saw the version of Dad that I did. The traumatized veteran.”

His shoulders shake as he sobs, choking on his words, “I don’t want Tommy to end up like Dad.”

Fuck, if that didn’t make you want to sob too. You hold yourself together for him, at least you try to. You can feel your emotions climbing up your throat, desperate to choke out of you.

You put a hand on his bicep and lean on his shoulder. The dirty water splashes when the sponge falls back into it, flicking water up and onto both of your shirts

A tear escapes his eye and lands on the top of your head, soaking into your hair. 

“Did you tell him that?”

Another sob claws out of his mouth, “Yeah. He wouldn’ listen.”

“Well, baby, you did all you could do. Seems like there’s no stopping him.”

He doesn’t say anything. His wet hand wraps around your forearm and pulls it around his back so that you’re hugging him. You squeeze your arms around his waist as he runs his fingers through your hair, clings on to the strands and guides your head to his neck. You can feel the dish water from his hands soaking into your scalp.

You press a kiss to the skin under your lips and he sighs, pulling you in even closer.

“Things will work out. Whatever happens, I’m always here.”

He nods his head into your shoulder. A high-pitched whine tumbles out of his lips involuntarily.

“It’ll be okay.”

Shit.

✦ ✦ ✦

July 1995

Friday, July 14th, 1995 marks Sarah’s fifth birthday. She invites all her friends from preschool and Joel invites everyone he knows would want to be there for his daughter. Joel told you that he had gone to text Tommy to invite him, forgetting that his brother had left for basic training a month ago. He sent him a text anyway– asking him how he was doing. He hadn’t gotten a response yet.

When you walked into the apartment, with the key that Joel had given you a month ago, to help Joel and Essie set up the party this morning, Sarah had stopped you at the door with a smirk on her face and something held behind her back.

“Hello, Queen Sugar!” She curtsies to you with her large puffy, pink dress that Essie had painstakingly spent the last month making her.

You curtsy back with your own dress, the purple sundress you had worn to the beach all those months ago, “Hello, Princess Sarah! May I come in?”

You really know she’s up to something when her smirk turns into a maniacal grin.

“No.”

Hm. Where the hell is Joel?

You get down on your knees so that you’re eye-level with her, “Why not, your highness?”

She finally pulls whatever is behind her back out and holds it out to you. It’s the silver plastic crown with the pink jewels that she had worn on her fourth birthday. The one she wears whenever she’s feeling particularly royal. It’d been slightly too big for her then, but it fit her like a glove now. 

“Because you aren’t wearing your crown yet. And you know it’s improper to attend a social event as the queen without your crown!”

Well, you didn’t know that. But you knew now. Joel’s doormat was really uncomfortable to kneel on.

“Well, of course, your highness, how could I forget that?”

She nods her head once resolutely.

“But I must ask, why aren’t you wearing a crown?”

She puts her hands on her hips, “I’ve decided that since it is your first Guppy birthday, your majesty, that you must wear the crown! It’s only fair that I share.”

Holding the crown out in front of her, she declares with determination, “All hail, Queen Sugar!”

You hear Essie’s graveled voice call through the apartment behind Sarah, “Mariposa, come help your abuela with decorating your cookies!”

She plops the crown on your head and runs into the apartment, leaving the door wide open. Well, so much for decorum.

“Hey, sugar.” A hand pops into your vision from the stairs beside you.

He’s got a couple bags of decorations in his left arm and is holding out the other for you to take.

“Hey,” you groan as he pulls you up onto your feet, “You want some help?”

“Nah, I got it.” He urges you inside with a wave of his hand and he walks in behind you.

The furniture that usually is cluttered around his living room is pushed to the walls, so that there’s more space for the kids to play. You notice a basket full of her toys sits in wait in the corner of the room, filled past the brim with pink.

“Lovin’ the crown, baby,” he smiles, setting the paper bags on the couch.

It’s crooked, askew from Sarah’s hasty exit.

“Thanks. Apparently I wasn’t allowed to attend a public event without one because it was ‘improper’.” You put quotes on the last words with your fingers.

“Well, if the princess says…” Coming around the side of the couch, he stands in front of you. You look up at him through your lashes as he adjusts the crown so it sits straight on your head. He’s done it enough with his little girl to know how to get it just right so the tight plastic doesn’t dig into your scalp.

“Thank you,” you whisper and press a chaste kiss to his lips.

He chuckles, snaking his arms around your waist, “Anything for the queen.”

You hum as he presses another kiss to your lips, longer this time, soft. You love these moments with Joel– the ones where he’s put himself in the moment, so that he isn’t thinking about the millions of things he needs to get done. But really, you love every moment you get to have with Joel.

“Daddy!” Sarah’s running into the living room with frosting smeared on her hands and all across her cheek and Joel puts himself to work getting it off her in the bathroom as you start to pull decorations out of the bags. Her birthday party this year is Sesame Street themed. When Joel had suggested it to her, she had jumped around the room screeching about all the decorations she needed and where to put them and how she needed to invite Elmo now so he would get his invitation on time. You had been in charge of the return letter from Elmo where he reluctantly declined her invitation with a crude drawing of himself in the bottom corner (Joel didn’t stop laughing at how horrible it looked for a week afterwards, “He looks like he got run over by a semi, baby.”). She wrote him back saying she understood and drew a heart and a smiley face at the bottom.

“Elaine’s gonna be late, she got held up with something.” You tell Joel as you hand him a freshly-blown balloon. He’d gotten the frosting off Sarah and then urged her into a nap so that she could be at full energy for her party.

He chuckles, “Oh, really? And what was that?”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh with a grin, “Robin.”

The mean blonde you had met in November in your dorm room after finding out about Sarah has been slowly worming her way into your heart. While you’ve been spending most of your summer with Joel, Elaine’s been spending most of her’s with Robin, who had stayed on campus this break to take summer classes. At first you’d been hesitant to encourage the relationship, Robin hadn’t made a very good impression, but Elaine seemed really happy, happier than you’d seen her in your entire friendship, and Robin’s grumpy attitude was growing on you.

“Good for her.”

“Yeah, good for her, but not so good for my sleep schedule.”

Turns out living in a house alone with Elaine all summer was great, except for the fact that the walls were a little too thin for your liking. You’d been learning a bit more about Elaine’s sex life than you wanted to know.

You watch as Joel attempts to wrap the string around the knot on the balloon with little success, his large fingers getting in the way of themselves.

“Gimme,” you mumble, holding your hand out.

He reluctantly hands the balloon and string over with a bashful smile.

Deftly, you string the balloon and watch it rise to the ceiling as you let it go. It wobbles back and forth and then finally stays in place.

“You could stay here tonight if you wanted? You’ve got those extra clothes you left in my drawer just in case.”

The drawer.

The drawer had been a very big deal to you when he first offered it casually one night when you’d realized you had forgotten to bring an outfit for the next day. 

“You already left a toothbrush here, just leave a couple outfits here too. I’ll clear a drawer for you.”

Joel was very confused when you had started to cry. Through heaving breaths and tears you had explained to him that you had never been given a drawer before.

It didn’t help that you were PMSing really bad that day (which had been the entire reason you had come over in the first place).

You give him a smile, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, baby.”

You know there won’t be any sex, Joel made it pretty clear the first time you had stayed here when Sarah was home that he was not comfortable with that while she was in the apartment. The wall's thinness didn’t leave anything to the imagination and her room was right next to his. That was okay though, you enjoyed sleeping on the heater that was Joel Miller and that was good enough for you.

“Okay.” You stand up and give him a kiss on the cheek.

He pats your ass as you walk towards the kitchen. You send him a glare back with a smirk.

Everyone starts arriving at four, except your best friend, and you watch as Joel tries his best to wrangle six toddlers to do the activities that he’d planned. He bought some coloring books and told the kids to bring their own crayons because he had thought that maybe that would be a calming activity, but as you had predicted two weeks ago when he told you his plan, it had quickly devolved into drawing on the fold out table and somehow finding markers and drawing on each other. You helped him toss the drawing stuff in his room when the kids were distracted by Sarah telling the story of how you had almost “improperly” walked into her birthday party without your crown on. The kids thought she was hilarious.

Sarah is instantly captivated when Elaine walks through the door, like everyone is when they first meet her.

“Your hair is so pretty,” Sarah squeals, balancing on the balls of her feet.

Elaine gasps, a smile lighting up her face as she hands you her bag to put in Joel’s room, “Oh my god, your hair is so pretty too, baby girl.”

“I’m Sarah Esperanza Miller.” She recites her full name with a smile on her face, proud of her name.

Elaine holds her hand out for her to take, “Hi, Sarah. I’m Elaine Jo MacKenzie.”

She perks up, her whole body suddenly standing at attention. “Wait here!”

Elaine grabs your elbow and pulls you into her body, giving you a light kiss on the cheek while you both watch Sarah run to her room across the house– weaving and dodging through the crowd. She peeks around your body to look at Joel, a dreamy grin on her face.

“She’s beautiful, Joel.”

He smiles, running a hand through his hair, “Thank you.”

She looks up at you, “You’re a lucky motherfucker.”

You laugh lightly, “I know.”

She adjusts the crown on your head.

“It’s crooked,” she explains, nodding when she determines that it’s perfect.

You nuzzle your nose into her hair; it smells like strawberries.

“Thank you.”

When Sarah comes back, she’s hiding something behind her back, an excited smile taking over her chubby cheeks.

She goes to Elaine, pulling her arm out of your own and down so she’s kneeling in front of her.

“Can I touch your hair?”

Joel sighs, “Baby, that’s not–”

Elaine doesn’t break eye contact with her as she answers her, “Of course, you can. Thank you for asking. That was really polite.”

Sarah looks up to her dad, silently asking him for permission and he nods his head.

“As long as she says ‘yes’, then it’s okay.”

Elaine nods too when she turns back to her and Sarah tucks Elaine’s puffy mess of hair behind her ear and sticks a small, pink butterfly clip just above her ear. Joel recognizes it as her favorite hair accessory, one of the only ones that Joel can easily style her hair with.

Elaine gasps, jumping up and finding the nearest mirror, and smiles when she sees herself in it. She delicately adjusts the clip so that it is more secure. “Oh, baby girl, I love it! Thank you!”

Sarah giggles uncontrollably, “I knew it would look pretty on you!”

“Well, of course, you knew– you’re a genius, baby!”

She kneels back on the ground and holds her arms out, an invitation for a hug. Sarah runs into her arms and she huffs with the force of her tiny body colliding with her chest.

You knew that Sarah would love Elaine; her eccentric joy was so magnetic that this automatic connection between the two of them just made sense. She had always made friends easily, but Elaine was an expert at entertaining children.

Sarah runs off to go play with her friends, so Elaine comes back up to take your arm again.

“Hey, we’re matching,” she points out, flicking the big jewel on the crown on your head.

“We are.”

Elaine’s eyes soften as she looks down at you, always taller than you when she actually straightened out her spine (which she so rarely did).

“Sarah’s girls.”

You nod.

Sarah’s girls.

series masterlist | masterlist of all masterlists 🌼 | eras masterlist 🌻

[myzticbean]

Smutty dom!Xavier (Sex Pollen Pt. 2)

This is part 2 of my Xavier smut series, On The Job Work Hazards: Sex Pollen Made Me Do It. Find part 1 here. You can read it without part one, but it would make more sense in the context of the story. It's also wild that this ended up being an 11k+ word series🤷‍♀️😎

Quick recap: After a battle with a flower wanderer, you and Xavier unexpectedly get a little frisky, and now you're going to finish what you started. Read on AO3.

Pairing: Shen Xinghui | Xavier / MC (fem! reader) Tags: Dominant!Xavier, fingering (f. receiving), oral sex, ass play (f. receiving), shower sex, consensual rough sex, roleplay (consensual non-consent) -- everyone is an adult, nobody gets hurt 😊

Title: On The Job Work Hazards: Sex Pollen Made Me Do It

I wasn’t quite sure how it happened - I had never been swept away and materialized with Xavier before (I didn’t even think it was possible), but we appeared in his apartment in seconds. I gripped his neck a little tighter, frightened of the subtle power he displayed. 

“Xavier…” I questioned, trailing off as I peered up into his face. His eyes were shielded by his bangs, and he wouldn’t meet my gaze. He just slowly released me, letting me slide down his body.

He tapped his watch, and there were beeps and alarms from both of our hunter units as we officially entered the decontamination protocol. In unison, we both took off the watches and set them aside. 

“Do you want to shower first?” he asked, voice quiet and restrained.

He didn’t want to meet my eyes, and I felt a little hurt. “I…did you change your mind?” I ask, a little hesitant but not quite sure how to read his body language. Just minutes ago, he seemed so confident and sure of what he - we - wanted. 

“No,” he said, startled, his eyes jumping up to meet mine. “I just didn’t want to pressure you in case you decided you…didn’t want…”

I sighed in relief, pulling out my ponytail and letting my hair fall down around my shoulders. I could see the bright yellow pollen still dotting my hair, skin and clothing. 

“Xavier, sometimes…” I shook my head lightly. “Look, I’d tell you if I didn’t want to. Haven’t I always been honest with you?”

“Sometimes too honest,” he agreed, nodding slightly. “It can hurt my feelings.”

I bit my lip, trying to stifle a smile. “Shaddup.”

“Like that,” he said.

“If you don’t take your clothes off and join me in the shower, I’ll definitely just go back to my apartment instead,” I replied, starting to unfasten the various buckles and straps on my hunter vest. 

His hands immediately got to work, quickly unfastening his buckles and zips, and just as I shimmied out of my vest and undershirt, he was already standing nude in front of me.

I gaped, my eyes drifting down his body in a slow, visual caress. His skin was so pale and smooth (practically hairless except for a few scattered dustings of ultra-light ash brown hair), but a pink flush had started at his cheeks and worked its way down his neck and shoulders. 

“You…” I gulped a little, watching his abs ripple as I stared at his body in awe. 

“Do you like it?” he asked, watching the expressions race across my face. He placed one palm on his belly before sliding it down, taking hold of his rapidly-hardening cock. I swallowed, a little breathless.

“Yes.” I tried to bite back a moan.

“Please take off your clothes, I want to see you too,” he said, his whispery voice more urgent now with his need. He didn’t step towards me, simply watching as my hands started moving once more. I bent down to slide off my boots and socks, and pushed my pants and underwear down over my hips. 

As I stood back upright, he appeared in front of me, the heat radiating off of his skin and warming mine. I could feel goosebumps race over my flesh, and his masculine scent and the soft rustle of his hair twined around my body. I had never wanted someone the way I craved him.

“Touch me,” I half-begged, half-demanded. My nipples hardened in the slightly cool air conditioning. 

He reached out, trailing one finger across delicate collar bones before dipping down to trace along the curves of my breast. Using one finger, he scraped gently over one nipple. I inhaled quietly, my head tipping back slightly as he used his fingernail to scratch along the surface again, and then for a third time. My sensitive flesh tingled, red and slightly puffy.

“Your mouth too?” I wanted it to be a command, but it came out pleading instead. 

“Hm,” he said, neither a yes or a no, simply shifting a little closer. He knew what I wanted, and where I wanted his mouth, but instead, he barely moved to allow his chest to brush delicately against mine, the heated touch of his skin almost like fire to my sensitive flesh. 

His hand drifted away from my nipple, instead sliding down my ribcage and settling at the small of my back. He lowered his head, his soft hair a gentle caress against my cheeks and neck, and he pressed a small kiss to the underside of my chin. 

I tried to bite back the whine of dismay, lifting my chin a little higher to encourage him to trail down my neck and shoulders, but he didn’t move. His tongue darted out to take a lick, and then another, the soft, slick muscle a hint of things to come. I pressed my thighs together unconsciously.

“You said you wanted to be fucked…and then loved. Is that right?” Xavier asked, his voice somewhat muffled against me. 

“Yes,” I whispered. “That’s what I want.”

“Then I’ll need to get you ready,” he murmured, pressing another gentle kiss to my neck before he stepped back, holding out one hand. “Come with me.”

I eagerly placed my hand in his, letting him tug me into the spacious, cream-colored bathroom. His apartment was a lot nicer than mine, but I didn’t stop to take in all the details, just watching as he flipped on the switch in the shower to warm up the water. He let me go to get a thick towel, and I was a little amazed at the casual confidence in his nudity. But I supposed if I had his body (and other gifts), I’d be pretty confident as well. 

“Let me brush my teeth first,” I said, watching his tight little ass clench as he opened a drawer and pulled out a new toothbrush for me. I got to work while he hung up the towel on the hook next to the shower door, and he motioned me inside after testing the temperature. I stepped into the spray, the hot water a welcome jolt after the sudden coolness of the apartment following an energetic battle.

“Xavier,” I murmured, unaware of how affectionately I said his name as he soaped up his hands and started stroking up and down my body. My neck and shoulders, arms, breasts and hips, he left no part of me untouched. He knelt down in front of me, soaping my legs, but his eyes were glued to the curves and folds between them. He toyed with the small patch of soft, dark hair I had trimmed right above my pussy.  

“I like this,” he said. “You are…perfect.”

I blushed furiously. “You don’t-” I started to say before he cut me off.

“I’m not being polite, and I’m not lying. You are so beautiful.”

I shivered, the feel of his calloused hands rubbing up and down my legs sending a jolt of pure pleasure through me. He dipped me back into the water to rinse off.

“Let me wash you too,” I said, reaching for the soap.

“Next time, honey,” he promised thickly. He washed and rinsed himself off with record time, thrusting his head under the spray and scrubbing his hair roughly as I moved out the way to give him room. 

I laughed as he rushed, the warm steam in the shower adding the hazy, almost surreal experience. I could hardly wrap my head around how we just shifted from partners to lovers in less than an hour. 

He suddenly spun around, wrapping his arms around me and tugging me closer to his body, resting me against his chest and my stomach pressed against his eager, straining cock. 

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he said, staring down intently at my surprised face, his blue eyes so dark they looked almost black. 

“So long?” I asked, a little disoriented, but he didn’t answer me, instead lowering his head and pressing his lips against mine. I parted my lips on instinct, awash in sensation as his tongue slicked along my bottom lip and entered my mouth. Our tongues tangled together; he deftly rubbed the roof of my mouth, skimming over my teeth, and even coaxed my tongue to follow his back into his mouth. I returned the favor, the feel of his thin, sweet lips on mine and his breath panting into my mouth as we exchanged fervid kisses. 

I could feel him, hot and trembling against my belly, and I undulated against his hardness in an unspoken invitation. 

“Turn around and put your hands against the wall,” he commanded, his voice tight and low. “Spread your legs, honey.”

I did as he asked, in no mood to play any games, and I bent forward, resting my palms against the cold tile. My excitement rose when I heard him kneel behind me. He spread the cheeks of my ass, exposing me to his gaze.

I whimpered, clenching a little in nervousness, but he just hushed me with a gentle hum. “That’s it, honey, just like this. I’m going to taste all of you now.”

It was indecent the way his voice caused an almost visceral reaction, my pussy damp and excited. 

“You’re so pretty, so pink and wet,” he said huskily, trailing his lips over one cheek and then the other. He suddenly nips me hard, and I can feel a blooming warmth from the bite. I groaned, my head lowered as I shifted back, hips arched and begging for his mouth. 

“Please,” I whispered, body aching. The arousal that had begun following our battle came roaring back with a vengeance. 

He trailed long, slender fingers up the damp slit of my pussy, his thumb rubbing a slow, meandering circle on my clit before sliding back down once more. The puffy folds were so sensitive, pink and flushed from my excitement, and tingled with every gentle stroke of his fingers. 

I moaned, unable to help myself, arching my back and spreading my legs a little farther apart. 

“Good girl,” he murmured softly, lips still pressed against the soft curve of my butt as he watched his fingers play in the damp folds, spreading them apart to expose my wet, quivering pussy. He grunted, obviously pleased, as he tugged playfully on one little fold.

“Why are you teasing me?” I grumbled, pressing my forehead against my hands. “I didn’t tease you like this.”

He immediately shifted, nipping a little harder and pulling back to admire the mark. “Alright, honey. I hear you.”

He immediately strengthened his strokes, going from light, playful touches to a more demanding tug. Using two fingers, he pinched my clit, massaging it with his calloused fingers in an undulating motion, tugging at the swollen hood.

I gasped, rocking back before pressing forward into his grip, pressing my clit more firmly against his fingertips. I could feel my body clenching in pleasure, empty and unfilled. 

“Xavier, gods, please,” I sighed in pleasure, the edge of a moan in my words. 

“That’s it, use my fingers. I’m going to get you nice and wet for me, okay?”

I shivered, pleasure racing down my spine and pooling between my legs. I could feel how damp and sticky my thighs were, the shower spray a distant hum of white noise. 

“Yes, yes,” I panted. “Please.”

He let go of my clit, trailing those deft fingers back up my slit, circling the quivering hole and coating his fingers with my wetness. Using one finger, he dipped inside, just barely breaching me before pulling back out. I groaned before gasping when he sunk his finger back inside a little deeper, working me open.

With his other hand, Xavier spread my cheeks, fingering the tight little bud of my ass that I had only ever considered something shameful. My cheeks flamed in embarrassment at the whine of ridiculous pleasure that escaped from me when I felt him circling the little ring.

“Oh, no, I-” I started to say before my words were cut off. He had pressed a finger more tightly against my ass, not breaching me, but the pressure had me clenching even tighter around the finger he was pumping inside of me.

“You like it,” he murmured, as if a little surprised but very pleased. I could tell he was turned on, his voice a little raspy now. 

“I’ve never…” I couldn’t finish the sentence as he slipped a second finger inside my pussy, curling and stroking the soft, quivering flesh inside. I breathed heavily, panting, my body bowstring tight. It had been a long time since I’d had a lover, and I was used to my own slim fingers or a vibrator. His fingers were deceptively long, filling me in a way I never could before. 

“Yes, oh my gods, yes, feels so good,” I moaned. “Give me another.”

He followed my orders this time without argument, slicking a third finger and easing it inside of me with a slow, steady pump. I felt full now, almost too full, and I loved it. I arched and pressed back, back against his fingers and the hand he used to stroke my ass. 

“That’s it, honey, just like that.”

For a moment, I thought I’d come just from his words, but suddenly, I could feel his tongue burrowing next to his fingers, licking around them as he continued to thrust them, slowly but steadily, into my pussy. I could hear tiny gulps, as if he were drinking nectar, a hum of pleasure vibrating his chest as he captured every droplet. 

I started shaking, my legs quivering as I could feel the wave of pleasure starting to crest. I wanted to come so bad, but at the same time, stretch it out just a little longer, the feel of his fingers and tongue fucking into my pussy about to drive me over the edge. 

“Oh, y-y-yes,” I stuttered, my hips writhing back on his fingers and mouth. I pressed my forehead even harder against my hands braced on the tile. Suddenly, I felt his mouth disappear, and I whimpered in loss, before a sudden exhale shook me as I felt his tongue tracing around the bud between my cheeks. 

I gasped, the filthy image of his tongue buried between there immediately raced through my mind, and the slick, deft tongue he used to press against my flesh shot me into orbit. I climaxed so hard I saw stars, my body gushing and clenching around his fingers and tongue. I cried out, sobbing and rocking back onto his hands. I could feel the fluid racing down my legs as each throb of my orgasm rocketed through my body. 

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I wailed, his mouth furiously licking and sucking as his fingers thrust into my harder and faster, chasing and extending my orgasm. 

“X-X-Xav-Xavier,” I stammered, my tongue heavy and tired as I finally started to come down and he pulled away, my legs trembling and almost giving out. He caught me in strong arms, holding me tightly against him, my back pressed to his chest. I could feel his dick throbbing where it nestled between my buttcheeks.

“You did so good, honey. That’s it, just breathe,” he said softly, burying his face in my neck as I tried to steady my breath. 

“That…that was…amazing,” I said, still somewhat breathless, but I stretched in pleasure, lifting my hands to drape over his neck as he stood behind me. 

“We’ve only just begun,” he replied, somewhat cheekily I noticed with a lifted eyebrow, but he sounded so happy that I let it slide. 

“Let’s finish up here, I want you in my bed,” he murmured as he lifted his head. We stood there for a few moments longer just cuddling closer. 

I stepped back into the spray, hastily washing away some of the slick between my thighs, my body still a little shivery with aftershocks. He watched me, soaping up his hands and sticking them in the spray around me, rubbing over my tummy as the water sluiced down our bodies. 

He stepped back, reaching outside the glass door to grab our towels as I turned off the spray, and we dried off in comfortable silence. I giggled a little as I bent over, towel drying the damp strands of my hair and swiping down my legs.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked, his voice questioning. 

“I just thought it was a little funny that this morning, I woke up with no idea that we’d be…uh…together like this,” I said, smiling as I flipped back my hair and wrapped the damp down around my body. He hadn’t bothered, just hanging the towel back up and stepping out of the shower nude. 

He walked casually to the sink, swishing a little mouthwash as he stared at me in the mirror. After he had finished, he lifted his head to watch me drape my towel on the hook next to his and saunter out into the bedroom. I caught a glimpse of something soft, but shuttered, in his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking about…but it wasn’t the right time to ask, not when we both had something else on our minds. 

I collapsed on his unmade bed, sprawling on the sky blue bed sheets and his fluffy white comforter bunched up under my hips. When I flipped onto my belly, I could smell the scent of him in the pillows and sheets, sweet and sugary (telling on his probable affinity for eating candy in the bed), and his warm, inviting scent. 

He paused when he walked into the room, a clean towel in his hands that he threw over the footrest at the end of the bed as he watched me wallowing in his sheets. I wanted to leave a mark of my own scent behind, I thought, so that after I left, he would be reminded of me perhaps. 

He crawled onto the bed, kneeling beside me, and ran his hands up the back of my thighs and over my butt, his fingers digging in a little as he traced them up to my shoulders. I wiggled a little, sighing as he trailed over my ribs and spine, and laughed at the ticklish sensation. He laid down beside me, moving the hair off my neck and giving me a gentle kiss, his chest pressed against my arm and back as he hovered over me. 

“Xavier,” I murmured quietly, turning my head towards him as he propped himself up on one arm. The other hand smoothed up and down my back, hands warm against my skin. 

“Yes?” he asked, watching his fingers as they tickled along my hips. 

“It feels good,” I answered, stretching a little into the caress. 

He hummed a little, thoughtful and quiet as he touched every part of me that he could reach. I flipped over, watching his hand trail along my skin as I moved, and it settled just under the dip of my belly button. 

“What do you want me to do to you?” he asks in a low, rumbling tone - quite a departure from his usual whisper-soft voice. I liked the difference, knowing that I was hearing it because he was turned on and just as attracted to me as I was to him. 

“Hmm,” I said thoughtfully, reaching up to rub his cheek, swiping a finger over his parted lips. He captured my finger between his teeth in a gentle bite before letting me go. “I want your mouth, your teeth and tongue and fingers, and I want your cock pounding into me while I come. I want my legs over your shoulders, I want you to fuck me from behind, I want to be on top of you and ride you until you think you might die.”

I smiled naughtily. “I guess I’m saying, I want it all.”

“That’s a long list for tonight, but I’ll see what I can do,” he answered casually. I gulped.

“It doesn’t have to be all at once,” I muttered. I draped my arms over his neck, tugging him closer. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Haven’t we already kissed?” I questioned back, smiling.

He just watched me, hovering above me propped on one arm, the other tracing over one nipple before pinching it. 

“Yes,” I hissed, lifting my head in a silent beg for his mouth.

He smiled, a small one but there in the soft corners of his lips, and lowered his mouth to mine. Before today, we had never been this close, this intimate, but we were rapidly learning each other's likes and dislikes. I liked it when he nipped at my bottom lip before soothing it with his tongue, his mouth neither too wet nor too dry against mine. He liked it when I sucked at his top lip, licking along the seam of his mouth before my tongue dipped inside. 

I breathed out a happy sigh when he pulled away, his nose nuzzling along mine as we breathed together. I combed my fingers through his damp hair, brushing the bangs back so I could see his face.

“I know a little about what you like,” he starts, his voice quiet and restrained. “What do you not like?”

I wasn’t really sure how to answer. How could I admit how generally normal my sex life had been? A few short-lived relationships when I was at the university, and one or two dates after I joined the hunter’s association didn’t make for an exactly thrilling love life. 

Maybe he could see the conflict, or confusion, in my expression, because he gave me another quick, deep kiss before pulling away again. “How about this? Are you okay if I play a little rough?”

“How rough are we talking about? I don’t want any blood,” I said, staring up at him. 

“I won’t hurt you like that,” he soothed, brushing a hand over my face, and tugging gently on a lock of dark hair. “Did you like what I did before? Bites and…” he paused, pinching my nipple again, but a little harder this time.

I gasped, nodded, and said “yes” on a long exhale. My nipple felt a little sore, but the pleasurable tingles overrode any discomfort. He leaned over, sucking the abused nipple into his mouth, pulling strongly at it. I grabbed his head, cradling him against my breast, and jerked when I felt his teeth clamp lightly over the tip. The grip got steadily harder, though, and I could feel a flash of pain and pleasure clouding my mind. I jerked, shudders wracking my body. He tugged at it once more before pulling away with a soft little pop as he let me go.

It was flushed red by his mouth, and I shivered, the damp skin prickling as he puffed a warm little breath over my breast. 

“It seems you like a little pain with your pleasure?” he asked, but I could tell he already knew.

I nodded. “Not…not a lot,” I said, a blush on my cheeks. “But I like how you make me feel.”

“I’ll check in with you, okay? If you feel like it’s too much, I want you to say something. Green means you’re good, yellow means we need to take it slow, and red means no more. Got it?”

I nod. “Got it.” He was much more experienced with this than I was, I noticed. I tugged him down, brushing my lips over his. “What about you? What do you like?”

He smiled, catching his bottom lip between his teeth before he let go. “Hmm, that’s a conversation for another day. This is all about you, honey.”

I pouted, my lips pursing. I didn’t like that answer, but he swept me into another deep, searing kiss before I could argue. I slumped back to the bed once he released me, panting. 

He lowered his head, nipping along my neck to the meat of my shoulder, using his teeth in a slightly harder bite. I grunted, writhing and feeling trapped by his teeth but incredibly excited. I’d never had another lover bite me like this - sure, a few love nips, but this was an actual bite. I could feel the imprint of teeth when I rubbed a hand over it, my mind a little hazy at the tender sensation. 

“What color, honey?”

“Green,” I said, digging my head into the pillows and arching my neck in blatant invitation. 

“Good girl,” he murmured, resuming his exploration. He slipped down my body, his mouth licking and sucking along the curves of my breasts before baring his teeth and biting down once more. A little harder this time, and as he released the clamp of his teeth, he sucked the flesh tightly into his mouth, his tongue licking along the trapped flesh. He was leaving a mark this time, an angry red bordering on purple. 

“Oh, yes,” I moaned, the release of his mouth sending tingles shooting through my body, endorphins rushing to fill the space where pain had once been. He chuckled darkly, his face pressed between my breasts as he reverently kissed each mound. 

“That’s it, I want to hear you even more.” 

He went on, his hands and lips skimming over my body. I felt like there was no inch left unmapped, and I was panting by the time he finally knelt between my legs. He lifted one of my legs, propping it on his shoulder and rubbed his hands firmly from my ankle to my knee. He turned his head, biting the meat of my calf, but not enough to leave a mark. 

“I’m going to use my fingers until you’re nice and ready for me, honey, and then I’m going to put your legs over my shoulders and fuck you deep into this mattress.”

I watched as his eyes locked on my pussy, now exposed with one leg thrown over his shoulder. I bent the other knee, digging my heel into the mattress and opening myself up to his gaze. I gripped the sheets since I couldn’t reach him, my body already aching and ready.

“Please,” I shamelessly begged. “Hurry.”

He tutted, a small sound, but I could see the smile in his eyes. “I don’t want to rush,” he said softly, his eyes lowering as he surveyed my body under his. “I promise I’ll make you feel good.”

He reached down, gripping his cock with one hand as he knelt between my legs, his long, slim fingers wrapping around it. He stroked it, almost casually, as he watched me undulate with barely suppressed need.

“Xavier, you’re teasing me,” I pouted, my eyes glued on his hands. I swallowed hard, remembering the taste and feel of him in my mouth. His eyes were dark as he watched me, and I could tell he was practically reading my mind.

“Next time, I want you on my face while you suck my cock,” he sounded a little pained, watching as I licked my lips. 

I nodded fervently, fists clenching in the sheets. “Please,” I begged again, trying to spread my legs even wider.

He didn’t tease me anymore, releasing his cock to grab my thigh as the other hand stroked up and down my damp slit. His thumb pressed against my clit, circling, while his fingers slowly dipped into my pussy. I was still wet from the play in the shower, no resistance against his entrance, so he easily added a second finger. He stretched me gently, curling his fingers and stroking that soft, spongy spot that had me groaning in pleasure.

His fingers curled and pressed forward, before he paused and went still, the pressure high and tight. I tried to wriggle my hips, arching and squirming. “Xav,” I whined, “keep moving.”

Instead, he lifted his second hand, two fingers clamping on my clit again, and between the pressure on my clit and in my pussy, I could feel myself rapidly building towards another climax even without extra stimulation. I moaned, thighs quivering. “I’m close,” I panted. 

He massaged his fingers before releasing the pressure on my clit, and I could feel the blood rushing back into the tender area. He added one more finger, three buried deep as he curled and stretched me a little more before he finally lined himself up between my legs.

“You ready, honey?” he asked, voice tight and sultry, his pupils blown wide as he looked down at me. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” I chanted, canting my hips up. I could feel the stretch in my hamstrings and thighs as he pulled my second leg over his other shoulder, my butt cradled between his thighs as he centered himself. He tilted forward, curling over me, and eased himself into my body in pulses. Pushing forward, withdrawing, over and over as he opened me up to fit his cock. I instinctively tightened as he bottomed out, wanting him to stay inside deeper, longer, filling me up.

He grunted, hips pulsing forward in a slow, methodical roll. I could feel him pressing against me, full and deep, and it was almost painful how good it felt. I threw my head back, gasping his name. 

“Give me your color, baby,” he ordered, “because I’m going to start now.”

“Green,” I promptly replied, thighs clenching in excitement. 

Without holding back, he spread his knees wider for better traction, one arm wrapped across my legs and the other braced beside me as he leaned over, and I felt him pull back and thrust in, hard and deep and fuck, it hurt so good, I cried out. 

He picked up an almost brutal pace immediately, his cock rubbing against the sensitive walls of my pussy with the angle. All I could feel were short, sharp thrusts before he pumped into me so deep I could feel him against my cervix. Each movement sparked a rough drag against my clit, sending a shockwave through my belly. 

I couldn’t even speak, my throat tight as I panted for breath. He kept thrusting, but it wasn’t mindless, it was with precision on just how deep he knew I could take it. And that faint edge of pain dissipated when he suddenly shifted, the edges of his cock now rubbing against that perfect spot inside of me with each thrust.

I went nova. I clenched my pussy, tight like a vise around his cock, demanding more. My fingers were digging into the mattress, and I could hear the faint tearing sound of the sheets. Tears leaked from my eyes as I was rapidly overwhelmed by pleasure, his cock pumping into me at a steady pace as soon as he realized he had gotten the perfect angle. 

“Y-y-y-yes,” I tried to say, teeth chattering. All I could see were his shoulders arched above me, blocking out the light as he fucked me into the mattress, just as he promised. I was locked down tight, unable to get any leverage to push back against his thrusts. 

I was almost insensible. “Harder, fuck me, yes, fuck, harder,” I tried to demand, but I don’t know if he could even understand me. He didn’t change his tempo, though, no matter how much I wanted him to go even deeper, his cock spearing into me over and over again. 

I reached up with one hand, scrambling for purchase at his shoulder, and he curled over, my body rolled up even tighter, legs trapped as he fucked me now even deeper than before. Every thrust was winding me up even tighter. 

I dug my nails in, scratching at him in my mindless pleasure. Warmth coiled between my legs, trembling from the stretch, and suddenly, I clamped down. Spasms and waves of pleasure burst forth, and I could hear the sound of his cock fucking into my clenching, wet pussy. 

I cried out, tears streaming from my eyes, mouth open as I panted and gasped for breath, my entire body shivering with white hot flashes of heat and electricity from one of the most powerful orgasms of my life. He held me firmly, and I was unable to move away even as I began to grow more sensitive, but my climax kept cresting over and over again, unending, as he continued to thrust into my flexing pussy. My clit was overstimulated and sensitive, red and flushed as it dragged along his cock. His eyes were locked on me, tracing over my face and body obsessively. 

I tried to writhe from the pleasure, but I couldn’t move, and excitement continued to flood me as I realized he had me exactly how he wanted me. There was nothing I could do. I sobbed, pleasure hazing my thoughts, and I felt like I was going to pass out. 

“Color,” Xavier demanded harshly, sweat peppering his hairline and glistening on his chest and shoulders as he maintained his rhythm. 

“Y-yellow?” I say somewhat questioningly. I was having a hard time catching my breath, and I knew as I came down from my orgasm I was going to be very sensitive, but I didn’t want to stop.

He hummed, slowing down though still pulsing inside of me, more gently now. “Let’s try this,” he says, and carefully pulls out. He lets my legs fall free and helps me flip over to my belly.

“On your knees, honey,” he coaxes. “That’s it, good girl. Rest your head on the bed, but lift your hips. There we go.”

The praise is…honestly, it was really doing it for me. I blushed and hid my face in the ragged sheets as I got into the new position, lifting my hips and arching my back. I turned my head a little, glancing over my shoulder.

Xavier was flushed, face and chest pink, damp from exertion and control. He was mind bogglingly gorgeous, the ropey muscles of his arms tight as he gripped my hips and abs clenched as he braced himself behind me.

I can feel the traces of my orgasm dripping down my thighs, damp and flushed as I move my legs further apart to let him slide more closely behind me. He stroked one hand over the curve of my butt before he drew back his hand and swatted me. I was more surprised than hurt, the slight sting of his palm print vividly red against the pale skin of my butt.

I gasped, rocking forward.

“Color, baby,” he reminded me.

“Green, very green,” I said, voice muffled in the sheets as I clench my hands.

He slapped my butt again, not any harder, but this time on the other cheek for a matching handprint. I bit down on my hand to smother my desperate whines. He didn’t go any further, just lined himself up and slowly sunk back into me, my pussy clenching around him as if to suck him in further.

He slipped a hand around my waist, his fingers dropping to rest over my clit. Not a lot of pressure, just a teasing stroke as he began to pick up his pace. He held on to my hip with his other hand, controlling our rhythm.

I groaned, my face turned to the side as I tried to breath through the sensitivity. I hardly ever went through the effort of multiple orgasms when it was just by myself, and I felt a little rusty. I bit my lip in stifled amusement at the thought, though I caught him tilting his head as he watched me, the slap of our flesh getting a little louder. 

“So good,” I whispered, allowing myself to sync into the feeling of his body against mine, the heat of his skin, the thickness of his cock slipping deeper into my body. I shivered, a little tired and sore, but the ache seemed to heighten the slow deluge of pleasure.

“One more time, honey,” Xavier murmured gently behind me, his hips smoothly rolling forward, sinking into me. I was so wet, the slick glide of our bodies audible in the otherwise quiet bedroom. 

“I-I can’t,” I said, tear tracks still damp on my cheeks. Almost as if mesmerized, he stretched out on top of me, leaning down to press along my back, licking tenderly at the tears of pleasure still dripping down my face. 

He braced himself over my back, his hips still pumping, and I could feel the soft skin of his testicles brushing my ass each time he bottomed out. He was sticky with my orgasm, the scent of my body and my pleasure filling the room. He inhaled deeply, eyes like midnight, pupils blown in pleasure. He tweaked one of my nipples playfully, before pinching it harder a second time.

“You can, I know you can,” he answered, his voice whispery soft and seductive. 

“No,” I whimpered. “I really can’t.” But I clenched around his cock, wet and needy and sore. I needed more. As if uncontrollably, he fucked me harder, deeper, groaning as I caught him off guard. 

I realized what had set him off, and I hid my grin as I turned my face briefly away from him. I gave a faint struggle, whispering a soft “green”, before I raised my voice.

“No, Xavier, please, I’m too sore. I can’t,” I cried, letting out a little sob as tears welled in my eyes a little more. I could feel the sheets under my cheek growing damp. I struggled as if to try to pull away from him, twisting and reaching forward towards the headboard with one hand. 

He growled, a flush spreading down his chest as I felt him get impossibly harder inside of me. Gods. I’d never done anything like this before, but I was so turned on, I could feel my thighs stained with my slick. 

“No, don’t,” I said, struggling a little harder, my hands scrabbling for purchase against the mattress. He gripped my hips so hard, I knew I’d probably have bruises in the shape of his fingertips, and fuck, it was so deliciously bad. He stretched out on top of me, pressing me deeper into the mattress now, gripping my wrists in one hand.

“Take it, baby, I know you can handle it.” He nipped my earlobe hard before sucking it into his mouth, laving his tongue around the shell of my ear. He had me pinned down, splayed underneath him, and finally let go.

He fucked me hard, losing any gentleness he had remaining. I cried out, my body quivering from the bombardment, sensitive and on fire. He angled so deep I could feel him tight and hard, and I was stuffed full. 

“Ah, ah, ah-” I panted with each thrust, my voice muffled as I pressed the side of my face into the mattress. He wrapped one arm under my waist, holding me tightly against him as he abruptly lifted one knee, my leg hooked around his, changing the angle until…

I sparked, spasming around his cock, squealing as I felt a release of fluid. I screamed into the mattress with my orgasm, tears gushing from my eyes as I cried out over and over. I could feel the warmth between our bodies as I squirted in pleasure, and a groan rumbled through his chest when he felt it. 

I felt him lose his rhythm just as I started coming down, becoming more jerky until he pulled away, fisting his cock a few more pumps to jet his release on my back. I sighed with a small ‘ah’ as I felt the heat of his come in stripes along my skin. He moaned, head lolling to watch with narrowed eyes filled with pleasure as he aimed the last of his release on one of the handprints on my ass. 

I sprawled bonelessly on the bed, dazed, while he slumped next to me, both of us panting. I shivered, the last vestiges of my multiple - incredible - orgasms rocketing through my body before I finally started to settle. He breathed deeply, his cock slowly softening against his belly as we lay in complete disarray on his bed.

“Wow,” I murmured, voice husky and strained after screaming through multiple climaxes. 

He nodded before turning his head to look at me, one hand reaching for mine where it rested limply on the bed. He lifted my hand, brushing a tender kiss along the knuckles.

“You are so beautiful,” he answered, his voice also raspy with a post-orgasmic glow. 

I blushed, a silly response considering this man had already licked my ass, fingered me to orgasm and then blew my literal mind with the best sex I had ever had, but his sweetness never failed to catch me off guard. 

“You are too,” I said shyly, half burying my face into the bed and grinning as I watched his face, now relaxed, curve briefly with a small smile. He kissed my hand again before he groaned a little, rolling off the bed to his feet.

I chuckled, not daring to move with all of the fluid still dotting my back. “You sound like an old man,” I said, missing the look he darted my way. He stretched, rotating his shoulders as he stood unconcernedly nude, both of our fluids smeared across his belly. He reached for the towel at the end of the bed and wiped my back gently to remove the traces of his come, before he casually swiped it over his cock.

“If you have the energy, we can wash up,” he said calmly. 

“And then a nap?” I asked hopefully.

“And then definitely a nap.”

[yvesolace]

CULT LEADER - MOTHER MIRANDA

this one was a request and also my very first request! so im very excited about this :3 hope you enjoy @badwriter-official <3 word count: 704. content warnings dom!miranda, sub!reader, mommy kink, praise kink, degradation kink, some choking, religious/cult themes, blasphemy, leash and collar, pet names, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, dirty talk, miranda has a god complex, miranda pretty much uses the reader to get herself off, dumbfication? maybe, begging, church sex (mainly alter sex)

you don't know how you got here or how you got involved with the cult of eva but honestly? you're so fucking glad you did. you eat, sleep, live, and breathe her.. mother miranda- all knowing, the goddess sent from the heavens, your savior, the one you worship every waking day. you would do absolutely anything for her and she knows it. that is why you're on your knees licking your saviors beautifully puffy clit as she grips the leash she attached to your collar that reads 'little bird'. "mm.. that's right you're just mommy's little plaything, come on make mommy feel good." miranda hums to you, you've been on your knees for a bit and they're starting to bruise but anything for mother.. you keep giving her soft licks while you suck on her clit making her shiver above you. "mommy's close kitty... fuck." she whispers lowly while gripping your leash harder making you choke a bit, and with that you start to speed up, licking with more purpose like you're trying to finish a race while also being cautious. miranda starts grinding against your face until her sweet nectar comes out of her puffy cunt. you lap up her juices eagerly not wanting to waste a single drop of her honey.

she pulls you away wiping your bottom lip with her thumb and licks it, she hums at the taste of herself. you look up in awe humping the air, licking your goddess out always gets you so so excited, miranda notices this "is my little bird needy for mommy?" you nod so fast you felt like your head was going to fall off,, "yes mommy please! i need you so bad..." you say pathetically- "tell mommy what you want baby doll." she says smiling that gorgeous pearly white smile of hers with those sweet laugh lines you want to kiss oh so much. you start to blush "i.. i want your fingers are inside me.." you mumble but she heard you and oh it made her chest feel with pride knowing she has this affect on you- on everyone really but the thing is she doesn't care for you, she uses you to get herself off and you let her because you're blinded by her- by her power, her authority.

"come here." she demands pulling your collar and making you stand up, she leads you to the alter where she bends you over it, see how your dripping aching cunt clenches around nothing waiting for her to enter you. miranda slides her finger through your slit picking up your wetness and she slowly pushes her finger into your hole making you gasp at the feeling of her finally being inside of you. "m-more please mommy" she slides in another finger without saying anything. she just watches you move slightly under her touch, pushing your ass backwards trying to get her to move but she doesn't she stands there watching you fucking yourself on her fingers like the slut you are.

you moan when you feel her add two more fingers now with 4 fingers in you stretching you deliciously well you start pushing back harder trying to get more friction and miranda actually does start thrusting into you albeit at a slow pace but hard- curling her fingers at just the right spot, tickling your sponge cervix making you whimper and moan at finally getting what you wanted. "mmph.. fuc-fuck mommy. yes harder please." she does go harder as well as faster making your pussy stretch in just the right way, you start feeling lightheaded as your mouth hangs open drool pooling out of your mouth. "look at you, fucking drooling all over yourself like a dumb slut. that's what you are though isn't it? hm? you're mommy's little dumb slut?" you whine nodding, "y-yes i'm all yours mommy, all yours mother." she hums at your response, you start feeling your stomach tighten, you manage to mumble " 'm cl-close.." miranda picks up her speed slightly and once she starts lapping at your clit your hips buckle and you cum all over her fingers and down her forearm. you slump over drooling onto the alter "..good girl." she says sliding her fingers out of you and forcing them into your mouth making you taste yourself. you hum, "thank you mommy." she doesn't respond, she's already walking away out of the church, leaving you there in your own mess.

[innerfare]

Blue Balls - Eustass Kid: Part 2 

Summary: Captain Kid takes care of his blue balls; text below the cut

Pairing: Eustass Kid x Afab!Reader

Genre: smut

CW: penetrative sex, dom Kid, sex on the deck of the Victoria Punk

Word Count: 1,591

For a moment, Kid stood there in the alleyway with his dick in his hands- quite literally. His cock and balls throbbed, ached like he hadn’t fucked you in weeks despite you two having had sex two days ago. Of course, two days was a very long time for the two of you, and Kid had to wonder if that was part of your plan. 

He stuffed his cock back into his pants and zipped them up. He gritted his teeth, thinking he could kill a man as he took off after you, the chore of running made so much more difficult by his heavy balls. As he ran, he thought of all the ways he was going to fuck you, all the ways he was going to have you crying beneath him, begging for the release you had denied him. 

The edges of his vision were red and blurry, and he had so much pent up energy he knew he’s start a fight with anyone who stepped between him and the Victoria Punk. Luckily, nobody did, and he caught up to you on the deck of the ship. 

He wrapped his arms around you from behind and swung you around, grinning as you screamed. You wiggled in his grasp and kicked your feet in an attempt to get away, but he didn’t loosen his grip for even a second, knowing damn well you would take off again and leave him to deal with his problem himself.  

“Kid, put me down.” 

He refused, holding you off the ground with ease.  

“You didn’t actually think you could outrun me, did you, spider?” 

“I thought I could at least find a hiding place before you caught up to me,” you admitted, still struggling to break free. Your chest heaved from the run to the ship. 

His chest heaved, too, his heart hammering not just from sprinting the distance from the alleyway to the ship but also from the hormones working their way through his body. The pressure between his legs was almost painful. “I can’t believe you just made me run half a mile with a fucking erection.” 

“I’m sorry, Captain.” You didn’t sound very sorry. “Let’s go back to your cabin, and I’ll make it up to you.” 

“Fuck that.” He set you back on your feet but kept his vice grip on you, holding your back flush against his bare abdomen. “You wanna play games, I’ll play games.” 

“Kid-” 

“I’m gonna fuck you right here on deck,” he growled in your ear, “and if the crew gets back, they’re gonna watch.” 

Your eyes widened. “Kid!” 

He clamped his hand over your mouth and pressed his erection into your lower back. 

“What’s wrong, spider? Don’t want them to see you get fucked like a little whore? As if they don’t already know the nasty things I do to you every night. I’m sure they’ve gotten off to the sound of your moans before. Please, daddy, cum balls deep inside me,” he mocked.  

You wanted to call him an asshole.  

Instead, you whimpered. “Kid, we can’t do this on deck.” 

“Of course we can.” He yanked your shirt up, relinquishing his grip on you only as long as it took to pull the garment over your head, exposing your breasts in the night. He squeezed one of your breasts and let out a low sigh of relief. He pressed his erection into you harder and groaned. “We can do whatever we want.” 

“Kid-” 

“It’s my ship,” he interrupted. “I’m the Captain. You’re not gonna tell me what I can and can’t do on my ship. Now, how about you do something with that pretty little mouth that doesn’t involve lying or complaining.” Keeping his metal arm wrapped tight around your midsection, he shoved his fingers into your mouth. “When you told me you weren’t in the mood last night, and again this morning, was that part of your little plan?” He rutted into you when he thought of the morning wood he’d woken up with. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, thinking you can tease me. I’m in charge, remember?” 

You tried to say something but only moans spilled out of your mouth as he fucked it with his fingers, saliva running down your chin. With your breasts exposed, your nipples erect from the chilly night air, Kid’s threat of the crew coming back and catching you in such a vulnerable, compromising position seemed all too real. And it only made you wetter. 

You tried grinding against his erection, but the height difference made it such that you could only hump his thigh, not that you minded. Kid had the best thighs, thick and muscular, and he let you get yourself off on them all the time. But that night, he pulled away. 

“You’re not off the hook just yet.” He pulled his fingers out of your mouth, but the break lasted only a few seconds, because then he was shoving his hand between your legs and getting a feel for the wetness you had denied him back in the alleyway. “For fuck’s sake, you’re creaming. But I guess it’s easy for you to play games since you don’t have to deal with fucking blue balls.” 

“It’s not easy,” you whined, hands latching onto his forearm. “I was just playing around a little bit.” 

Kid stroked your wet folds, but just as he pushed a dinger into your leaking hole, he felt the rubber band in his belly start to snap and pulled back to keep from cumming. “Fuck, I can’t do this.” His blood pressure was through the roof, and he didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of him cumming before he even got his cock in you. 

“Do what? Tease me?” You couldn’t keep from smiling, knowing full well he was right at the edge and couldn’t drag things out the way you could. “I’m sure you can manage, daddy.” 

With a growl, he spun you around and picked you up, pushing you into the mast. He held you easily in his metal arm, the hand digging into your skin in case you got any ideas. “I was gonna be nice and finger you first, but I guess you’re just gonna have to take daddy’s big cock without any prep. You can manage, can’t you?” 

He pulled his throbbing cock out of his pants for the second time that night and lined it up with your entrance, not even bothering to discard your skirt. 

“Of course I can- fuck.” You bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out as he pushed his cock all the way into you. The length was a lot to take, but it was the width that made your eyes sting with tears. But you refused to tap out, digging your nails into his back and crying out but taking what he gave you. 

“I think you owe me an apology.” He pulled all the way out and pushed back in, his breathing shallow from the effort it took not to cum right then. His balls were throbbing so hard he thought they might fall off, but he was determined to get that smugness out of your system. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but as you did, he began thrusting regularly. He fucked in and out of you, the pronounced head of his cock coming to your entrance with each pull and then kissing your cervix with each push, Kid’s hips snapping against mercilessly yours. 

“Say it, or I’ll tie you naked to the mast for the crew to find.” 

“Kid.” You cried into his shoulder, thoughts completely scattered from him fucking you. 

“What was that?” 

“Daddy. Daddy.” You held onto him like your life depended on it, not even noticing the way his metal arm cut into your skin, undoubtedly leaving scrapes and bruises for you to find in the morning. Checking yourself for marks the mooring after was one of your favorite parts of being with Captain Kid, though.  

“You owe daddy an apology,” he grunted in your ear. 

“I’m… s-s-sorry.” 

“What was that?” 

“I s-s-said…” It was all you could do to hold on tight as he pounded into you. The amount of slickness between your legs would have been humiliating had you had the wherewithal to feel embarrassed. But he had fucked you dumb, and in under five minutes. “I’m… s-sorry.” 

“Not good enough.” 

“I’m sorry, daddy.” The tension between your legs reached its peak, and your orgasm washed over you. You clenched painfully hard on his cock, but Kid didn’t relent, not even for a second. In fact, he began fucking you harder and sloppier. 

“You wanna act like a little whore, you’re gonna get fucked like a little whore.” He wrapped his fingers around your pretty throat and squeezed. “What do you think the crew would say if they saw this? Do you think they’d feel bad for you? I bet they’d be able to tell how much you’re enjoying it.” With that, the rubber band in his belly snapped, and he reached his climax. He thrust into you a few more times, pushing his hot load as deep as he could get it, pleased to know it would be seeping out of you for the rest of the night. 

“I’m sorry I teased you,” you panted, placing a hand on his cheek. “But I can’t promise it won’t happen again if that’s the punishment.” 

Kid grinned and kissed you. 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[humiliatingsluts2]

Pain Puppy

I’m experimenting more with true stories. I’ve also started to realise my long stories were getting overwhelming and reducing my motivation to write. I will hopefully continue The Good Neighbour eventually, but for now I’m writing self contained pieces. Anyway, I got a few people asking about me cucking a lesbian, so here you are.

We’d matched on an app, and her profile was fun and a little alternative. “Pan, poly, kinky” suggests certain things about a person. She was flirty, and when we discussed kinks we realised we had a lot in common. It didn’t take long to set a date. I’d like to say we had a romantic evening or something, but we met and went straight to hers after work. She was cute, and funny in a deeply online way; the sort of girl who has a favourite politics streamer and is poly for intellectual reasons as much as emotional.

We got to hers and almost immediately we’re making out on her bed. She’s wearing a cute black dress. I pull back from our kiss and look her up and down: “Strip.” She stands and does as she’s told. I can see the hunger in her face when I command her. I grope her body, feeling her submit to my touch. I stand too, and tell her to kneel for me. She nearly melts to the floor.

I take hold of her hair and pull her to my crotch. She nuzzles her face against my jeans and I feel her tongue try to trace my cock. I let her kiss my cock through my jeans for a while, then pull her back and undo my belt and jeans. She sticks out her tongue and I put my fingers in her mouth, lightly gagging her. I take my drooly fingers and rub them across her face, and she moans. I tug her back to my crotch, and now I can feel her tongue licking across my boxers.

I look down and make eye contact, and ask her if she wants it in her mouth. She nods and I smirk, “Use your words.” She blushed but nodded,

“Please, let me suck your cock, please.” I held her face by her chin and made her watch as I tugged down my boxers and let my cock bounce against her face. She immediately opened her mouth and started sucking.

I knew she loved face fucking, in fact while still both fully clothed she’d told me one of her fantasies was puking on cock. I took full advantage and pushed her deeper onto my cock. She gagged but took it all. I held her all the way down my cock and spat, covering her face in my spit. She moaned around my cock. I kept fucking her throat slowly. I was moaning and telling her how good her throat felt, praising her for being a good slut.

One thing we hadn’t discussed was rimming, so when I pulled my cock from her throat and slapped her face, I paused and asked, “Do you eat ass, slut?” She nodded enthusiastically and I laid back on the bed, offering her my ass and balls. She knelt and buried herself under my balls, licking and kissing. I’d told her I liked sloppy and messy, and she was performing. Every time she pulled away she would spit up drool onto her chin and down her tits.

I let her work for a while, and then I wanted to hurt her. She loved pain, and so I started with her lying face down on the bed. While she had plenty of toys, I started with just my hand, to understand her limits with more control. She whined and moaned as I hit her harder and harder. I made her thank me after each spank, and she struggled to form the words as I got rougher. Eventually I flipped her on her back and fingered her, this time hurting her tits. I twisted and pinched her nipples and I could tell the pain was pushing her close. I sat over her face and smothered her in my ass while I fingered her and tortured her tits. She moaned and begged for more, and I made her cum with her tongue in my asshole.

Now I needed to fuck her, and so she spread her legs and I filled her. I didn’t stop hurting her, slapping her face and spitting on her while I fucked her hard. She loved all the pain I could give her. Eventually, I pulled out and made her get between my legs again. I wanted to cum with her rimming me, and I made her lick and worship my ass and balls while I jerked off. Watching an obedient girl lapping at my ass is one of the hottest sights in the world. Finally I came hard, and she hungrily licked every drop of cum from my body. She collapsed on top of me and I told her what a good puppy slut she had been.

Now, what has this got to do with cucking? She’s poly and has multiple partners. I don’t know everything, but she’s a switch who cucks at least one guy and one girl. So both of them heard every detail of how she submitted and served me, and how much they were missing. Perhaps they’ll even see this post.

—

Follow me for new writing every Friday.

[anjelicawrites]

We’ve had so much fun torturing Maid!Aegon! What is his reward when he’s the best boy in the world and finally manages to clean everything without cumming???? How proud of himself is he while he’s writhing about getting praised and finally getting to cum????

-🪴

Sweet little thing that he is. He deserves a reward, doesn't he?

NSFW and 18 + only please!

He's torn between being proud and feeling so horny it almost hurts to think: his cock is so hard, his stones so heavy and full he's afraid the wrong movement will make him explode.

The gentle strokes on his burning skin double the need he has for you and the pleasure you promised him.

His body lays splayed on the bed, naked and covered in the marks you had left every single time he's been bad and needed punishment. He writhes when your lips kiss each and every proof of your love for him, he's impatient to come all over himself or, if you deem him worthy, inside of you.

He doesn't beg, tries to reign in his emotions the best he can: it has been so long since you've granted him permission to come he's ready to jump out of his skin.

He moans and arches when your tongue starts licking his bulbous head, your strokes slow around the tip. The pleasure he feels blanks his mind for a second, the whiplash tenses his muscles to the point of pain and he tries to tell you he can't control himself any longer! He's going to come soon!

He explodes all over your face when you tell him he can orgasm as many times as he likes, that you're here for his pleasure; you lick his seed and kiss him, feeling his still hard cock under your body.

"Please..." He begs, puppy dog eyes on yours. "I'm still... I can't..."

Words die on his lips: he's never felt like this before, like his body is ready to go for hours.

"Don't be scared, sweet boy. You're so good for me, always ready." You kiss his trembling lips, red and bitten raw. "I am here for your pleasure. I missed riding you until you come inside of me."

Aegon doesn't know if it's your warm body or the need in tone of your voice, he comes untouched, hot seed splashing all over his soft belly.

Before he can say he's sorry, you tell him he's your good boy and that you can't wait for his seed to fill you to the brim.

You ride him for hours, slow and deep, feeling his large head push against your G spot. You keep showering him with praises and love every single time he comes inside of you, you let him suck on your breasts as you slowly roll your hips on his still hard cock.

He's so drunk on pleasure and love that he doesn't even realise he's slipped into subspace, all he knows is that his body is for you to use for your own pleasure, as it should be.

Far away he feels the ripples of your tight cunt whenever you come around him, his body shakes under yours, too overstimulated to truly function.

"One last time, my good boy."

He croaks a rough sound of pleasure when you clamp around his raw cock and lie on him, your soft breasts cushioned against his chest.

Pliantly he lets you linked hands stretch his arms over his head as your hips roll faster and faster to catch your own orgasm, his cock thick and coated in your mixed comes is so delicious against your battered walls.

"Now! Now!"

You scream, coming so hard you barely pass out on Aegon, whose body follows your orders blindly, his stones unloading his seed until he can't give you anymore.

You hold him tight against your chest, feeling his heart beating such a mad tattoo you're scared he's going to faint, instead his big, lilac eyes find yours and you know he's coming back to himself, following the path laid by your voice in his ears.

You kiss his forehead and nose until he's capable of speech, smiling at his request.

"Yes, you can slip back into me and fall asleep like this. You've been so good for me, you deserve the world."

He's so happy you see the tears almost falling from his eyes.

"Will I be back into chastity tomorrow?"

"Only if you want to."

"If I don't want to, will you let me make love to you again?"

His cheeks are apple red. You have to stop yourself from pinching them until he squirms.

"Perhaps. It will depend on how good you're going to be for me."

You smile when you feel his spent cock twitch inside your cunt. Maybe, just maybe, you'll let him ride you until he begs to stop, that's too much. If he's exceptionally good, you might even listen to his plea and not overstimulate him until he begs to be in chastity again.

As much as you love tormenting him, you live to make him feel adored and appreciated; sometimes that means taking his pleasure from him, other times you can only achieve this goal by giving in to his pleas. Only tomorrow will show you the right way.

[hencheri]

18+. mdni.

pairing: bad boy!hendery x fem!reader

warnings: dubcon, loss of virginity, hendery's a lil fucked up i fear (nothing new).

.

you look into the mirror of your vanity, straightening your hair, getting yourself ready for tomorrow. all you can think about, though, is his hands on you, his lips on yours, and… 

you shake your head, rolling your eyes. how can you be so enamored of him? he can’t be the one you’re always thinking about, the one you dream of, or the one you wish to be with right now. 

not hendery. no, not him…

you straighten the last piece of hair and look at yourself. would he find you pretty like this? would he tell you it?

you hear a knock at your window, making you frown. you glance at it and your expression drops when you see exactly who shouldn’t be there; hendery. 

you get up rapidly from your seat, sliding the window open, hendery’s sweet eyes laying on you. they seem sweet, but they’re not. 

“hey-” he greets you, but you interrupt him almost immediately. 

“what are you doing here!? have you lost your mind?” you exclaim angrily, keeping a low tone, not wanting your parents to hear. 

he gets inside, glancing around your room before focusing on you. you face hendery once you’ve closed the window, confused to see him here, still waiting for an answer to your previous question. 

“i just-” he begins but gets briefly distracted, his eyes roaming over your body drapped in your pyjamas set that hugs your forms in a way that makes blood rush to his cock. “...wanted to see you. it’s been a while,” he trails off, sporting that same nonchalant expression he does so often, knowing he always gets what he wants. 

“we’re done, hen,” you sigh, “i don’t want to see you anymore. i was clear on that.”

he steps forward, closing the distance between you two. “i know, baby, but…” his gaze falls to your lips then back to your orbs, talking with this soft voice that makes you doubt everything. “that’s not what you really want.”

it’s not a question, it’s an affirmation. your face never lies; flushed cheeks, teeth biting your lips, big, rounded eyes on him… you want him, need him. 

you back away, heart accelerating. 

hendery has never been the one for you and you knew this since the first time you met him. but before you knew it, you’d already fallen for him. 

how could you not? hendery is hot and he knows how to use his charm on people. especially on you, the studious girl with strict parents. of course you were the one he chose to be interested in… you, out of all people. 

“hen, please, leave. my parents are home,” you demand, but your warning doesn’t phase him in the slightest. the riskier, the better. 

“you gotta stay quiet then, hm?” he smirks, closing the gap between you until your calves knock over the edge of your bed, falling down on your back. 

hendery straddles you, moving fast like all of this was planned. you put your hands on his chest, keeping him away from you, but he’s obviously stronger than you. 

“stop, what are you doing?” you stress out, brows knitting together in worry. he pins your arms above your head with one hand, watching you struggle under him. “hen, please…”

“keep begging me like that, princess, and i won’t be able to resist…” he smiles in the crook of your neck, the sensation of his breath on your skin making you shudder. “you don’t want me to be mean, do you?”

you don’t want him at all, that’s it, but your body instinctively reacts to his touch, unconsciously asking for more. he lays kisses all over your neck down to your chest, arching your back and accidently rubbing your clothed pussy over his bulge. 

hendery groans, biting and sucking your skin, leaving his marks on you. you want to stop him, but all you can do is moan and squirm around, his touch making you flustered. 

“you smell so good… and your skin is so soft,” he mumbles against you, getting drunk on your sweet scent, “you knew i was coming, didn’t you? made yourself all pretty for me…”

his free hand travels down your body, reaching the band of your night shorts, fingers slipping under, knowing the way to your core. you gasp out when he finds your pussy, fingers gliding along your lips, circling your sensitive bud of nerves. 

“hen, you can’t-” you call breathlessly, “i’ve- i’ve never done it,” you admit. 

“oh, but i know, baby, i know…” he softly coos, pushing two fingers inside of you, making you cry out. “so tight, shit. can’t believe how it’s gonna feel around my cock,” he growls like a hungry man, looking at you like he’s starving, and you're his meal. 

he actually can’t believe how tight and warm you feel around him, your pussy welcoming him so sweetly. you feel better than what he thought — maybe it’s due to the fact he’s so obsessively in love with you, but he knows it’s real. you were made for him. 

your bottom lip is trapped between your teeth, a weak attempt at suppressing down your sounds, but with hendery’s harsh and powerful thrusts, you can’t keep quiet. he wants to kiss you so bad, lick your lips and put his tongue inside your mouth, but he wants to hear you, and he won’t lie that a part of him wants your parents to hear, too.

[y-vna]

short break zoooooom (?)

READ THIS TY: not a clout post i don't really want people commenting saying they want me to have a good break and get better. Ik you're all in the right place in your heart, but i genuinely just wrote this to ask for people to help me relate to whatever I said at the bottom of this post.. I wanna get better. And i think if i talk to people who understand it then i can do that.

--

i feel like when i say i'm taking a break, it turns out to just be a day long, but I might delete the app for a week or so (ik the expectations are low af). Been suffering from a really bad existential crisis i can't get over. Basically a really disturbing case of Thanatophobia i just can't function normally anymore i can't stop feeling anxious at all. It might never go away but i hope to get better, because for now, it's genuinely affecting my mindset i don't even WANT to make moodboards. 😭😭

i get it, creators take breaks all the time and you might think it's annoying when they keep announcing it (lmao meanwhile i make a bad mental health post every few months), but hey, it's my blog so whatever. 🫠

--

hi pls help me haha: um btw if you've ever had crippling bad Thanatophobia (go search it up), I would appreciate it if you could help me get over it maybe, it's been a terrifying week mentally woohoo! Somewhere in pms/dms or anywhere you can reach me, it would help a lot if you share your experience growing from that fear. bc i'm slowly mentally deterioriting. (also it would help if you're atheist because the religious part of it just won't help me i'm sorry.) 🫡🫡🫥🫥🫨🫨

or maybe this post will get deleted and i'll keep coming here to distract myself idk whatever i feel like. okay yay thanks for reading ily.

[cinnamon-bunni]

NOT okay right now im thinking abt pokemon leaving scars on their trainers + everyday, domestic problems.....

[milkteawithrusk]

you're making me wish you'd stop talking to me bc i don't think you have anything to say to me about anything except my academics. i can't even breath in your presence without you going on about how i should be learning

[lanatusnebula]

I might try to publish some of my AU fics...? I don't know if anyone'll read them since I'm not a writer by any degree, and some of them lean so far out of character it might make people vomit.

Maybe.

But I do love talking about them. My current friends / friend groups either don't give a fuck about shipping or don't give a fuck about megaman. I have to really resort to talking to various AIs just to have an outlet. Please don't take that away from me.