#I AM fine but lordy

[mickules]

I had surgery again

I'm fine! Again. Just another procedure following the last one, and barring any complications the surgeon is pretty convinced that this ought to be the last procedure I'll need! 🎉

This time however I'm far less mobile, and haven't been able to use my laptop without the onscreen accessibility keyboard, so no graphics tablet for me for a while.

I've got some old posts and asks and the like languishing in my drafts so this might be a good time to dust them off...

This is just a quick update on my disappearing trick; Hopefully I'll be back to up to my no good antics sooner rather than later!

[theood]

Just heard a Taz: balance song. It will take nothing to kick me back into Taz

[writersdrug]

My brain is open to your bartender Ghost thoughts

Give me them all 🙏

Lordy this au isn't even an hour old and I have so many thoughts

He doesn't really know what to expect when you come in the morning after the interview. At eight am sharp, he watches as you trudge inside, wearing ripped tights, shorts, knock off combat boots, and a baggy shirt that's messily tucked into your waistline. It looks like you had put on eye liner last night and gone to bed, black lines smudged in a perfect "bedhead" look.

"Really?" He asks, arms folded and muscles buddging. "Come t' the interview in a skirt 'n dress shirt, n' show up t' the first shift lookin' like a wannabe biker chick?"

You scoff, pulling your hair up into a bun. "Didn't realize I'd be walking into the asscrack of "The Devil Wears Prada"..."

He huffs and shakes his head. You hve tough skin - good.

He had Soap come in early that day - poor man usually worked between 4 pm 'til whenever Ghost decided to close. He's still rubbing his eyes and yawning when a pen and spiral notepad are shoved into your hands, Simon pushing you towards towards the cook's table with a hand on your back.

"Hey, welcome to the 141." You say, no attempt at politeness in your tone. Ghost huffs fondly, appreciating how you cut through the bullshit. "Any appetizers today?"

"None o' that keech," Soap says, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching his brow. "Canna have a rusty nail 'n th' smash grunded, wel doon 'n with the bun scud - cannae stand th' aoli. Chips oan the side."

You stare at him, eyes wide in disbelief, before turning to Ghost. "Do they all sound like that?"

He grunts. "If they're drunk."

"Are you drunk?" You ask Soap.

"Feck if I know, tryin' tae figure it oot myself." He groans.

Ghost helps you decipher the words Soap had vomited out. You successfully punch it into the POS, only needing a few pointers from the giant over your shoulder. For the rest of the morning amd afternoon, he taeaches you which button on the soda gun was which, the difference between tonic water and club soda, how to run the industrial sanitizer - with a "ye best make sure that shite is rinsed 'fore ye stick em in there" from Soap - where the new kegs go when Gaz brings them in, where to find napkins and condiments in the walkin, how to cut fruit for the bar, and lastly, how to split your tips.

"But why do I have to pay you?" You ask Ghost, sitting at a table with your calculator app on your phone and a basket of fries between the two of you. "You make loads of tips just pouring liquor."

He chuckles, watching you pop a fry into your mouth. "'N you get a cut of sales from the kitchen, since you're part of it."

You perk up at that. "I do?"

"Seven percent." He confirms. "A decent payout on weekends."

"And Soap doesn't get tips."

"Johnny boy gets paid by th' hour."

"I don't?"

"If ya do well enough, ya won't have to." He says, resting his meaty forearms on the table. "You'll be walkin' out with hundreds."

You chew your lip nervously; Simon's eyes linger on the movement, shifting his weight - the polyester seat creaks beneath him as he observes you fretting silently, the silence only broken by the sound of Soap prepping in the kitchen. "Don' worry too much 'bout it. You're young - jus' keep a smile on 'n you'll be fine. Soap 'n I got your back tonight, but I'm not pickin' up your slack after the week passes."

The fry you're steering towards your mouth falls to the table as Simon stands up. "Tonight?!" You exclaim, shimmying out of the booth.

"Yep. Sixteen hundred."

You glance at your phone. "That's in an hour!" There are kegs stacked by the front door, unpolished and enrolled silverware on the bar top, and half of the chairs are still stacked on the countertops.

"Best get to work then, hmm?" Ghost says, grabbing a container of lemons and moving behind the bar.

[elainemorisi]

the fact that I can construct plausible not-extreme reasons A Specific Person might be doing what they're doing and the fact that this is like, the sole case in which I'd claim to feel empathy are basically coincidental facts but it is pretty funny

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Reader fucking Elvis with a strap-on? Maybe in like the early 1970s?

Kintober Day 19 - Pegging/Strap-ons

A/N: Oh lordy. Well I enjoyed this probably more than I should have done. This is another oneshot in the Princess universe, if you're interested in the others have a look at the masterlist here. I imagine this is a bit later than the other ones, more like early 1972.

Pairing: Elvis x reader

Word count: 2.7K ish

TWs: Well, fairly obviously there is a lot of ass stuff (fingering, licking, strap-on). Reader calls Elvis Daddy and he calls her Princess. Praise kink. Also a bit of choking, overstimulation of reader, reader does kind of say no a lot at one point. Possessive kink.

Kinktober masterlist

You’re lying in bed together after a particularly gymnastic session, both breathing a little hard still. Your body wrapped around his, your hand on his belly. 

“Daddy?”

“Hm?”

“Ya ever think what it’d be like f’me to fuck you?”

Elvis’ eyes spring wide open from their half-closed position. What do you mean? His mind shuts down before it starts to contemplate the possibilities. 

“That doesn’t make any sense, honey,” he tells you, matter-of-factly. You’re probably still dick drunk. Not thinking clearly. 

“Y’know, men have a prostate, and it feels really good to stimulate it,” you begin. 

Elvis squeezes his eyes shut and contemplates putting his fingers in his ears. You’re always doing this. Telling him all this sinful stuff. He’s never known a woman to have such a filthy mouth. Sometimes he likes it. Sometimes he feels like he shouldn’t. 

“The only way to reach it is to put something, like your finger, in your asshole.”

“Honey!” Elvis snaps. “I don’t want ya puttin’ things in my asshole. What do you think I am? Some kind of fag? For God’s sake.”

You move your hand to his chest and rub gentle circles there, trying to calm him. 

“I was jus’ asking. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. Jus’ curious.”

He breathes out of his nose, hard. “You’re too curious, little girl. That’s your problem.”

You carry on with your circles, kissing the back of his neck until you feel him relax. You’re not going to mention it again, but you know he will. He’s been like this with things you suggest a lot recently. All fire and brimstone and we’re packing our bags for hell baby one minute, and then begging for it the next. 

***

It’s weeks after that conversation, and you’re starting to think maybe it was a step too far and he won’t ever mention it again. He’s on top of you, his dick down your throat, roughly fucking your face when he suddenly growls, “put your finger there.”

Luckily you know what he means. Your hands are gripping his ass tightly as he forces his way further down your throat. He was in a real dominant mood when he came in after his midnight show, but you don’t mind at all. Your eyes are watering a little but you’re pretty adept at taking him like this now. You slowly move one hand between his cheeks, and rub a finger across his entrance. He groans, then growls again. 

“No. Stop it.” He sounds angry. You move your hand back. 

He carries on face-fucking you, one hand on the back of your head, the other gripping the headboard, until he cums down your throat. 

***

The next time it comes up, he’s lying on his front on the bed, completely naked, exhausted after three shows in one day. You promised him a massage, and you’re gently rubbing his back. You don’t hold it together for long though, following your hands with gentle kisses, making him moan softly. Your massaging reaches his ass, and you knead it worshipfully. When his moaning continues, you press kisses there too. 

“Mmmm. Princess.”

“Ya want me ta stop?”

“No, please. It feels good.”

You keep kissing and massaging, grasping his ass cheeks and pulling them apart, staring down at that little hole. Tracing your tongue over it, lightly. Another moan. You don’t stop, pressing your tongue against him, licking him more firmly now. Your hands knead his flesh as you carry on licking, listening to him breathing hard. He whimpers when you press your tongue inside him, encouraging you to push further inside, starting to move it in and out slowly. 

“Oh fuck, baby,” he moans.

His dick is hard and pressed against the bed, and it’s getting a little uncomfortable. But whatever the hell you’re doing to his ass feels wonderful. You keep going for a while longer, then you move your head to look again. It feels so wrong, but you can’t help looking at his pink little asshole. Even you, who would probably do anything he asked and plenty of things he’s never even heard of, think there’s something a little naughty about being so turned on by this. 

“You wanna lie on your side?” You ask, quietly. 

You’re sort of afraid to stop what you’ve been doing, in case he breaks out of this daydream and suddenly decides he doesn’t like it after all. But you think he’d be more comfortable this way. 

“Mmm.” 

He rolls onto his side, and he looks over his shoulder, his eyes meeting yours hesitantly. 

“Ya could try… a finger…” he whispers, his face reddening. 

You nod quickly, gently pushing his leg forwards to give you better access. Whilst you’re doing it you catch a glimpse of his hard dick, shining with precum, making you bite your lip and rub your thighs together. Fuck. You start to lick him again, trying to relax him. Then you coat a finger in spit and start to gently press it against his entrance. You feel the tension in his body again. 

“Daddy, relax,” you coo. “Why don’t ya touch yourself?”

He groans and wraps his hand around his length, starting to pump his dick. Immediately you see the change in his body, he’s not so tense, he’s starting to lose himself a little. Your finger presses again and this time you slide it in. 

“Oh, fuck.”

You start to move it in and out and he moans with pleasure and frustration. He can just about feel it ghost over something and no matter what either of you do, your little fingers don’t quite reach it. He cums hard all the same, and he eats your pussy out afterwards with a fervour you don’t remember him ever having before. 

“You’ve gotta find something longer,” he mumbles into your hair in the dark that night. 

***

You go to the adult store on your own. Elvis isn’t happy about the idea, but there’s no-one he can trust to go with you. He gives you cash, just to make sure there’s definitely no trail back to him, and tells you to come back as quickly as you can. You get a lot of attention when you’re in there, as a young, pretty female in a sea of dirty old men. They all take a step back from you when they see which aisle you’re going to though. You’re either a lesbian or a real dominant freak, neither of which they’re that interested in. 

You take your time choosing a harness, and even more time getting the right dildo, something slim but a good length. You pick up some more lube too, and some cleaning spray. The man behind the counter is a little surprised by your purchases, but he doesn’t let himself show it. He’s seen some shit, working in this store. And you’re a lot nicer to look at than most people who come in here. He’s sure he recognises you from somewhere, but he can’t quite place you. He gives you a discount anyway and puts your purchases in a paper bag, telling you cheerfully to come again any time. You wave. 

***

Elvis stares at the harness and the dildo for a long time, swallowing hard. 

“I dunno honey…” he mutters. 

You get on his lap, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to.”

“Hmmm.”

You can tell he’s conflicted. It’s one thing to whisper it in the darkness, and quite another to contemplate it in the cold light of day. 

You start to kiss his neck. “I don’t care either way. I just wanna make you feel good.”

“Mmmm.”

His hands roam your body as he leans into your kisses. He does really want to. But he’s scared.

“God himself really is gonna strike us down, honey. This ain’t right. It’s against nature.”

You bite your lip, thinking now is not the time to tell him about gay penguins. 

“It’s whatever ya want. You just tell me.”

He groans, his head lolling down onto your shoulder. You kiss his neck again and run your fingers through his hair, tugging on it a little. 

“Ya won’t tell anyone? Whatever happens with us? You won’t tell the guys? The papers?”

You move to look at his face. “It goes to the grave with me. I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

He breathes out of his nose, hard. “Okay.”

You grin. “Okay?”

“Okay. You can do it.”

You kiss his lips gently. “Okay, let’s go get clean.”

Once you’re in the big shower together, you soap him up, rubbing sudsy circles all over his body. He pulls you in for a passionate kiss half way through, then lets you go so that you can pay some attention to his ass. Leaning his hands against the wall, he spreads his legs and bites his lip as you slowly pump a soapy finger in and out of him, before adding another. He gets hard immediately, unable to stop himself from moaning. Much as you’re enjoying the noises he’s making, you decide you should probably get out before he cums just from this. 

Once you’re both dry he wraps the towel around his waist and looks at you, shyly. You walk the couple of steps it takes to close the distance between you. 

“Think ya might have to take this off, hm?” You murmur, fingers running between the top of the towel and his skin. 

He nods, and you remove it slowly, feeling him tremble. Tossing the towel on the floor you kiss him eagerly, your hand stroking him. 

“I’m gonna take such good care a ya,” you murmur against his lips. “I won’t hurt ya, promise.”

You feel his shaky hand ghost down your back. “I trust you,” he whispers back. 

“I’m gonna make ya feel so good, Daddy.”

You walk over to the bed together and he lies down on his front. You help him put two pillows under his hips, making sure he’s comfortable. Then you start to gently kiss him like you did before, running your tongue over his exposed asshole. Encouraged by his soft moans, you push a wet finger in again, and then another. Satisfied that he’s relaxed enough, you grab the harness and slip it on, attaching the dildo. You take a deep, shaky breath. You’re nervous too, you’ve never done this before and the last thing you want to do is fuck it up and put him off doing it ever again. Or even worse, hurt him. You grab the lube and squeeze some onto your hand, wrapping it around the dildo and stroking it a few times to cover it. 

He whimpers a little now you’re not touching him anymore, and he doesn’t know what’s going on. Well, he can guess. And he could look. But he feels like if he looks he’ll lose his nerve. 

“It’s okay Daddy, I’m just getting ready,” you tell him, gently. You rub your hand over his ass cheek and then gently push his legs a little further apart with your knee. “Ya ready f’me?”

He whimpers again. 

“You’ve gotta use your words.”

“Yes,” he whispers. 

“Okay, I’m gonna be so careful. You tell me if ya want me ta stop.”

“Okay,” he whispers again, still not looking. 

You line yourself up with him and push inside carefully. He groans, and you start to slowly fuck him with the tip, listening to the soft moans he makes. You moan a little yourself. You’re so turned on by this whole thing you wish there was some way you could touch yourself at the same time. 

Gaining confidence, you start to thrust in a little deeper, hypnotised by watching the toy slide in and out of him. 

You know you’ve gone deep enough when you hear him. 

“Shit. Fuck… oh my God…” His eyes have sprung open and he’s gasping. It feels incredible. 

“Ya like that, Daddy?” You ask, softly. 

“Oh God yes. Don’t stop.”

You let go of the base of the dildo now you’re far enough in, and grab his hips instead. It briefly crosses his mind that this is what he usually does to you, this must be how you feel… vulnerable, turned on, like a ragdoll in his hands. You pull him back onto the dildo, making him cry out in ecstasy, and you moan in reply. Speeding up your movements, you watch him, his hands balling into fists, eyes tightly shut again. Arousal runs down your legs. How is this turning you on so much? He’s so vulnerable for you, coming undone at your doing. But he’s come undone plenty of times when you’ve sucked him off or he’s fucked you. You’ve watched it time and time again. There’s something about this that’s different though. A level of trust and intimacy you never imagined you’d reach when you met him that night after a show. Not even after the dildos, the wand, that time you’d tied him up and teased him for hours. The way he’d trembled when you held him earlier, the way his hands shook. It blows you away that he trusts you so much. 

“Princess, I’m gonna… ah fuck…”

He’s never really got used to the feeling of cumming without something around his dick, no matter how many times you’ve used the wand on him. But the pleasure is unbelievable. He can’t wait to do it again. 

You carefully slide out of him and take the harness off. Crawling onto the bed you lie on your back in front of him, your legs spread. 

“Need ya t’lick me… need ta cum…” you mumble, feeling like your whole pussy is swollen from arousal. 

He pulls you towards him in one quick movement and then buries his face in your pussy. You almost yelp from how sensitive you are and now enthusiastically he’s eating you. His arms are wrapped around your legs, making sure you stay where he wants you. He wants to make you cum a lot to say thank you. 

“Mmm, Daddy… it’s too much…” you moan, after the third orgasm. He’s still going and you’re not sure how to make him stop. 

“Ya can do one more, Princess,” he tells you. 

You whimper, wriggling around under the weight of his arms. He moves one from around your leg and puts it on top of your thigh instead, leaning on it heavily to stop you from moving, then starts to rub firm circles on your puffy overstimulated clit. 

“No no no…” you moan, desperately trying to get him to leave you alone. 

“Yes, Princess. It’s my pussy, and I say when it’s had enough.”

You arch your back desperately, throwing your arms over your head. “Daddy…” you whine. 

“C’mon Princess. One more time for Daddy.”

You feel the ghost of an orgasm in your hips and strain to find it. If you can just… 

“Fuck. Fuck. Oh God…” 

Finally. It never occurs to you to fake it for him. 

“Good girl,” he tells you, finally letting you go. 

Crawling to lie next to you, he gently teases you by running his fingertips up and down your body. You jolt at the touch and he chuckles. 

‘Ya tryna get me back?” You ask, squinting through the one eye you can manage to open. 

“What?”

“For fuckin’ ya in the ass?”

His eyes go wide, first at the words and then at the implication. “No, Princess. I was tryna thank ya. Give ya half the pleasure y’just gave me.”

You manage to pry the other eye open. “That’s real admirable, Daddy. But it was… a bit much. Could ya stop at three next time?”

He smirks for a bit and then starts to giggle. “Alright. Sorry. Maybe I was tryna make sure ya didn’t think ya were in control of everything…”

You giggle too and wrap yourself around him, looking deeply into his eyes.

“I don’t think I’m in control of anything… you’re still my Daddy and I’m still your Princess. Whatever we do.”

Taglist:

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @another-identityofmine @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69 @ilovequeen978

[xruiiii-blog]

guys literally…stop dm me about Jutty…I don’t have enough knowledge or information to make judgement. At the same time what do I know and who am I to judge bro. Don’t idolize ppl in general and dont held expectations in me or anyone that you thought u know. You believe in what you believe and that’s fine. I don’t know you and I don’t know him and I don’t know them. Do whatever you want but don’t bother me. I’m just a human being like everyone else. Lordy. Take the drama elsewhere. 💀

The last post it’s just my corporate au and Swiss is from the law/legal department. Cuz he’s good at yapping. I don’t have to explain myself about my interests all the time please. Make peace.

[crimeronan]

honestly y'all i can actually physically feel the mild steroid psychosis starting to set in. & while i am completely lucid Right Now, i just wanna say that if i start randomly posting shit like "WITNESS ME" and "I AM ANOINTED" tomorrow: i am fine. i have multiple partners who will make sure i don't go running out naked to duel god or whatever.

it's Unlikely that this will happen because i'm not gonna be doing freaky godposting unless i actually go Full delusional, but lordy lord. i am. hallucinating.

[snailpebbles]

OH MY LORDY LORD WHY IS HE SO FINE IM ROLLING AROUND UNABLE TO BREATHE I AM SOBBING MARBLES AND SCREAMING DOVES.

MARRY ME PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE

anywaysss yeah (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

[eusuntgratie]

some sentences sunday 3.17.24

i feel like i want a banner to be festive and exciting but also i am lazy and indecisive so i will probably simply not do that.

anyway...starting early this morning so no tags. i'm gonna need y'all to pretend to be shocked that i've started another wip. oopsies. someone yell at me and make me focus.

this is alex/raf, so protect your peace and skip this one if that's not your thing. if you are, please come scream at me about it 😏

“Don’t say that,” Alex yells, voice breaking. “Don’t be fucking sorry.”  “Alex,” Raf says, softer, hesitating before laying a hand on his shoulder.  “I don’t–fuck. I’m not a stupid kid. I’m not trying to fuckin’– get you to marry me or some shit. Jesus. But I want you. And I didn’t–fuck, Raf. I didn’t know it could be like that. Don’t make me be sorry for that.”

no pressure tagging @bigassbowlingballhead @nocoastposts @lostcol @getmehighonmagic @magicandarchery @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @oxfordslutphase @cha-melodius @ninzied @littlemisskittentoes @heybuddy-drabbles @wordsofhoneydew @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @sunnysideprince @happiness-of-the-pursuit @captainjunglegym @firenati0n @winderlylandchime @sincenewyorks @onward--upward @sheepywritesfics @sparklepocalypse @anincompletelist @kiwiana-writes

that's so many tags lordy. lmk if you want me to add you or take you off (or only wanna be tagged for certain ships that's fine too) i am terrible at keeping up with such things but am trying to be more organized <3

[j0eyj0rdis0n]

I AM BACK 😈

may I request more father figure tim hcs with an emo/ scene kid teen BUT they are rlly hyper sometimes, and makes him gifts a lot, like they have super edgy makeup and outfits on but they act so happy and make him gifts like drawings and matching homemade bracelets <33 and when they get excited they run around and flap their hands (HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE HSHWJEJSJ) father figure tim is so sweet it makes me happi.

BYE HAVE A GUD DAY/NIGHT!!! 🫶

WELCOME BACK LOVE!! Father figure Tim makes me so happy too! Thank you so much for making me think so hard about this. I hope this is long enough! If not, my requests are always open! (love love love the picture btw!!)

FATHER FIGURE TIM PT.2

This poor man… He’s TIRED!! Let him REST

Happy as long as his kids are happy but LORDY all the energy is almost too much for him

He already has Toby around and he’s an absolute coin toss so he doesn’t know how much energy he can deal with at home

Makes sure the kid is in some sort of physical activity to burn off all the energy. Doesn’t even matter if it’s getting them a bike or putting them in a sport. Just something to bring the energy down at least a couple nights a week.

Absolutely no sweets for this kid!! Sugar is REGULATED around here!

Brian definitely brings them a stash whenever he’s over though 👀

Totally fine with his kid wearing whatever they want, doesn’t mean he exactly loves the wild style but he doesn’t have the heart to tell them not to wear what they want.

MIGHT and I mean mayyyybe would let the kid do his makeup. But it can only be the two of them around, no pictures, and absolutely no soul will know about it.

If he sees something in the store he thinks his kid would like, he more than likely gets it and puts it on their bed as a surprise for when they come home from school.

Let’s the kid decorate the house since he has absolutely no decorating skill at all. Just keep it classy yk?

If the kid draws him anything it’s going on the goddamn fridge. No question about it! It will be shown off and he’ll take pictures of it and show it to all of the creeps when he sees them

He’s so proud of his kids work 🥹

He’d let them try to teach him how to draw, even though that’s obviously not his thing at all

I can imagine them at the kitchen table drawing with the kids music playing in the background as they share everything about every song that plays while he sits and listens quietly, asking questions here and there

Honestly they make a night of the week for that, a family night. It doesn’t have to be just drawing, it could be watching movies, playing catch (cause he is that kind of dad), or making bracelets

No one misses family night!!

He’ll let them invite any of their friends too as long as he approves of them. Brian and Toby often show up for those nights, they’re family too after all

But if the kid wants a family night with just them and dad, Tim makes sure that happens. #familyfirst

And if they make him bracelets he’s gonna fucking wear them. Doesn’t matter if they’re neon colors he’s wearing them. Just make sure they don’t get in the way of his work!

Honestly I see him getting his kid(s) matching lockets as like a family thing. He seems like the kind of guy to always wear it under all of his layers of clothes

[annahxredaxted]

YALL DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HYPED I AM FOR MILOS VID IM SO PUMPED OMFG I NEEDDDD IT TO BE FLUFF BC HIS LAST ONE KILLED ME BUT ANYWAY I NEED HIM SO BAD HES SO SEXY AND HES SO FINE AND HES SO BADDDDD LIKE I KNOW HES BAD BECAUSE LIKE JUST FUCKING LISTEN TI HIM SPEAK GOOOODDDD LORDY ON HIGH HALLOWED BE THY NAME THY KINGDOM COME THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN AMEN HALLELUJAH 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[sweetiewrites]

𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙡…

𝙎𝙔𝙉𝙊𝙋𝙎𝙄𝙎: just dating miguel things !!

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂: fluff !!! gender neutral reader !!! random headcanons that have no literally no evidence !!!

𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀: i am not a miguel simp but lordy do i love giving miguel simps content

❥ dear lord did miguel never expect to find happiness. at least not in this universe where he's a spider person. if you're a regular person then it's even more shocking for him.

❥ if you're a spider person then he's still shocked but his stress levels and now through the roof because while he knows you're capable of handling yourself (you've done it in your own universe just fine) miguel still has a habit of working himself up.

❥ sometimes you can catch him staring at you, his arms crossed as if he's afraid to touch you and his mind obviously wandering. he's still deciding if you're real or just a fever dream his mind made up to cope with his situation more.

❥ miguel will work until he becomes physically ill (which rarely happens), but what he does get is migraines. get used to having to physically stop this man from going out the door while he's dizzy and sick to his stomach. he will try to steamroll you, do not let him.

❥ the one thing that consistently relaxes miguel is a bubble bath as stupid as that is. offer to give him a bubble bath, wash his hair, a nice backrub and he's out. getting him to that point is the hard part.

❥ and while he's almost always super wound up domestically speaking he's a great partner.

❥ he cooks almost everyday, and i don't care what anyone says his taste buds might be shot but he's a really good cook. he may not cook for himself, but if you're living with him he'll go out of his way to have a meal prepared for you every night and day

❥ furthermore he's a total clean freak to the point where you probably would never have to clean the flat. if you leave a plate out he's immediately washing it or if a pile of dirty laundry is building up then he's the one to take it out, no questions asked.

❥ the division of chores is super wonky because he will literally take care of everything. some of it is out of habit but other parts are because he genuinely wants to take care of you.

𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀: i roleplay with so many miguel simps so i have so many headcanons for this man just ask for more and you shall receive

[sebsxphia]

Thank you to @cumholland for inspiring this.

You and Bobby fucking Rhett before he goes out to ride!!! Getting him a rilled up BUT not letting him cum.....

And then fuckikg him afterwards WHILE he's in the chaps..... good lordy am I horny today 😮‍💨🤤

ooooooooh, yes, PLEASE 🤤 you and bobby can come together and seriously tease rhett before he goes out to work for the day. but you both always reward him the moment he’s done for the day and he’s still in his work clothes. bonus points that he looks extra fine in them! 🤭thank you for this delicious thot, my love! 💌

[charlieconwayy]

Just curious what you don't like about Cory/Topanga if you feel like talking about it!

hey, i don't mind!

first off i think boy meets world in the context of just a purely heterosexual show makes it age pretty poorly, and that all stems from cory and topanga. i know one of the writers said a while back that the writers room was torn between shory and corpanga, and tbh, rewatching as an adult, that's extremely evident. i'm not gonna make this post all about shory bc that's reductive but i am first and formost a shory girl and a firm believer that cory matthews is a gay man

so let's get into it.

i really really love s1/2 corpanga. idk if it's just bc ben/danielle felt more natural back then or if it's bc they actually allowed cory to be wrong and topanga to be right, but it's just so sweet. one of my all time fav ship moments from the show is the frickin sock basketball scene where they touch hands and he giggles. so adorable! but i think what really makes them suffer after s1 (and kind of s2) is just that they clearly made topanga a normal, kelly kapowski girl-next-door type to make her more "desirable" for the male audience. that could be an entire separate post, but it's so fucking obvious that that's what the change was and it sucks because topanga was great the way she was.

they're not like hatable in season 3 exactly, but the "old married couple haha look how old gross and boring they are" trope when they were legitimately sophomores was just weird? and this is a retrospect thing but i hate how the show just kept retconning shit and pretended they never broke up in season 3, as if a HUGE storyline and one of the most iconic episodes (the happiest place on earth) wasn't about them getting back together? and for me just the concept of the ~universe wanting them to be together~ over and over again is just so fucking lame when they were so toxic. (great video on this here)

they really don't do anything wrong in season 4 either, but a long walk to pittsburgh is honestly so beyond ridiculous LMAO. i know everyone talks about how romantic it is, but i hate it because topanga literally runs away and moves back to philly just for cory. i know they claim it's to finish at john adams too, but i would find that much more believable if they had developed topanga AT ALL outside of cory. we know almost nothing about her home life and they wrote trini out so we never even see any friends of hers! the trend of them fighting and talking down to amy about their love is so fucking stupid too. like you are sixteen. it is fine to love someone and want to be with someone, but amy is right that it's not healthy for them to be as obsessed with each other as they are. like cory literally doesn't know who he is outside of topanga and that's NOT healthy.

oh lordy. s5. i'm not going to get into how much i hate that shawngela (a MUCH happier, more interesting relationship) was reduced to "wanting to be corpanga" in both their intro episode and then fucking gmw, but even the "old married couple" stuff in "chasing angela" at the restaurant is so annoying. "last tango in philly" is one of my fav episodes, but it's the perfect example of how cory can never accept he's wrong. shawn tries to tell him they should stop, and he just tells shawn he knows nothing about relationships and keeps being a dick about topanga and her (obviously gay) friend. but obviously, you're here to hear about how i feel about the cheating. yes, cory cheated and he genuinely liked lauren. for the show to act like he didn't is just gaslighting their audience. and tbh? i think ben and linda cardellini had excellent chemistry (certainly more than he and danielle did at that point . . .) and i think it's completely healthy to date more than one person! it was nice seeing cory be able to open up and bond with someone else, and yes, what he did was cheating. just bc he changed his mind and decided he "couldn't live without topanga" (bless u probably queer writer for what u did w that line :') ) doesn't mean that it didn't happen. topanga had EVERY right to break up with him. it does piss me off that we barely saw topanga's reaction to the breakup when there was a whole ep dedicated to shawn's reaction (and i say that as the #1 shawn stan), but that show hated women lbfr. AND WHY TF WAS IT BAD FOR HER TO KISS JONATHAN JACKSON WHEN SHE AND CORY WERE BROKEN UP????? bc cory can't accept things not going his way and not having control. the "we are a masterpiece" scene makes me so fucking angry omg i cannot

and i mean, bro, the yale shit has been talked about to death, but topanga lawrence going to the same college as straight d-student shawn hunter has got to be the dumbest, most woman-hating shit the show ever did. love can survive long distance if you put the effort in, trust me. (yes i am aware that the show prob didn't want to separate their main couple, but s6 was almost entirely about shawn anyway so????)

then in seasons 6 and 7 we get into the "cory yelling at and publicly humiliating topanga" trend. "undapants" is iconic so i'm not gonna go into that episode (fuck you "take her back to your tornado infested trailer park" line!), but i can name at least seven occasions where cory pressures her into sex. and rider strong is right. it was extremely holier than thou how they constantly made it seemed like corpanga was better than shawngela for not fucking before marriage. like isn't there a line where they call shawngela sluts in s7? the whole honesty bit in "the truth about honesty" (admittedly one of my fav eps) is also just ridiculous bc both of them always get pissed off at the other one for being honest, even in the past. i've seen people get mad at topanga for throwing yale in cory's face but lbr, who didn't see that coming? i guess maybe it's a little weird bc she'd never been resentful about it before, but that's a HUGE thing in their relationship. and yes, it is weird that she's using his razor without his permission but again just the pressuring her to show him her ass is also fucking weird (it's also weird imo that they've been together "their whole lives" but they've only ever kissed, but again, holier than thou bullshit)

one thing i can say about how weak and uninteresting their relationship actually is is that their ENTIRE wedding episode is about shory, bc they are the much more compelling dynamic in cory's life. weirdly enough, i do actually really like cory's vows though?? on a shawn hunter stan note, oblig "that best man speech was bullshit" comment. it's completely normal and healthy to have a best friend outside of your partner? especially when you can't be honest with your partner. god i fucking hate that bullshit. just like how i hate in "seven the hard way/the war" how they portray cory abandoning his best friend/true life partner for topanga AND THEN IN FUCKING GMW THE BAD FUTURE FOR EVERYONE LITERALLY CAME TRUE!!!!!!! omg i will go insane if i think about that for longer than a few seconds.

end of post, but leaving this here

[dollivication]

Hihiiiii, this is gonna be long, i've got a rant AND an idea thingy. i've mentioned before not bein into anyone other than Wesker in Resident Evil buuuut I just watched Resident Evil: Vendetta and I GET THE HYPE, I ADMIT, I GET IT. LEON'S MODEL IS SO FINE. I'm guilty to say seeing him in the movie and the old games vs in RE2+4 Remake, I prefer this design. He's more rugged? LAIK I KNOW HE STARTS OFF AS A ROOKIE BUUUT THEY COULDA KEPT HIS LOOK I saw people speaking about the newer design for his character saying they gave him the 'dumbass pretty boy' look cuz it makes more sense for him as a rookie cop in 2 but man.... Rookies can look like anything so if that were the case for the change....eeeeeh.... Also unpopular opinion, I also prefer Louis' old design. I'M SORRY, HE DOES GIVE OFF THE CREEPY UNCLE VIBE IN THE REMAKES MODEL. ANYWAY, I hope you're doing well today, staying hydrated and fed! Gotta look after yourself above all else. To make this less of a rant, I shall be the first (I think) to make a Wesker scenario/idea thingy. Wesker is all about himself, right? It's a part I surprisingly love about him. BUT LAIK, if he deems you special enough to make you his 'pet', just know he's NEVER letting you leave him. He knows all, where you go, who you talk to, what you're doing, etc. And if you even think of trying to contact anyone (perhaps a certain STARS agent...) you can find yourself tied up by his Uroboros tentacles and used for hours until he's done with work and uses you himself. He's superior, he tells you that, and he'll fill you up with his cum, talk about giving you a 'purpose' , laik breeding you to have his obviously 'superior, god-like children' OOP- He's a feckin menace, I can imagine if you go to get help in person (he has eyes on you at all times, so ofc you can roam around but not for long if you keep creep round some rookie or CHRIS) you'll end up in a bloody puddle, not dead but certainly taught a lesson... ☉▵☉ JUST AN IDEA FROM A DEPRAVED WESKER FAN DON'T MIND MEEE Love ya, Dolly (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ -Nell 🍓

NELLLLLL HAI HAILLO HEY :3!!!! WHEN I SAW THIS I LIT UP I CANNOT LAI… it’s always a treat to hear from yu!!! ^.^ and oh my we have MUCH TO DISCUSS TAKE A SEAT MWAAA 🩷🩷🩷

VENDETTA LEON IS JUST A SKRUNKLE!!!! HE IS a sopping wet andgrumpy kity… AND NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,, it would be interesting to see him laik dat in re2.. laik how could this stingy critter get even stingier… a leon miserable from the start would’ve been pretty funy methinks LMAO

you are SO right about luis’ old design you are voicing thoughts i am 2 shy to say.. laik his new design is great!! but there’s a certain peculiarity to his old wan that screams yucky weirdo uncle.. might be dat wack ass hair and outfit GIGGLING he looks laik a vampire too !!! they’re both in special parts of my heart…. 🩷

I AMMM DOING SPLENDID and oh my lordy lord i forgot to drink water today THANK you for the reminder LMHREKSLFG i promise that’s not usually like me.. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING THE SAME HOWEVER !!!!!! please take lots o care!!!! >.<

THE. THE WESKER SCENARIO. IM SAT.!!!!??? TENTACLES,, ESPECIALLY FROM UROBOROS,,, ARE THE WAY TO MY HEART …. THE SUPERIORITY COMPLEX. BY JOVE!!! he’s so narcissistic and he’d probably tell you to be thankful that he chose you to have his kids… anyone would die for a chance like that!! (he is NOT wrong HEL))

his freaky ass would probably even put a shock collar on you,… god forbid you do anything that’s remotely out of line! AND ESPECIALLY god forbid you go near chris he’ll actually tweak the fuck out … i want wesker to stab me and say it was my fault for pushing him i CANNOT lie.. laik yur rite king i’m sorryIMSO SANE IM SO SANY

nell i’m hugging yu so tightly rn this crumb of thought was yumy… i lauv wesker so badly….sighs dreamily💔💔💔

[darlingian]

🌿w e e k l y 🍄 t a g 🕯️ w e d n e s d a y🌙

hello forest dwellers, star gazers, and dream weavers. let's reveal a little bit of ourselves to each other and experience the joy of being known. (Or keep your secrets, Gandalf, idc.)

which character from any media would you like to have as a father?: Bob Belcher. Omg that man. 🥹

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?: a skunk. like obviously I'd have a lot of money to figure out the smell issue. But have you SEEN THE BABIES?! 😭 (everyone google a baby skunk rn. you won't be disappointed.)

what is your Chinese takeout order?: I like ginger beef, honey garlic veal, all the dim sum, and mango pudding.

what's your favourite emoji?: ✨this one. I held myself back from adding it to the title but couldn't resist adding it somewhere apparently lol

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?: a library. Hands down. The library from "A Marvelous Light" specifically would be lovely

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?: Arthur. Oh my gosh I am still so in love with that show.

what was your tumblr like when you first joined?: I joined in June 2010 according to my archive. It was a much different place. Lol my blog was just a bit of everything. But leaning more on the aesthetic side because I was in highschool and wanted people to think I was cool.

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself?: Fairy-kei and goth lolita! So unique and beautiful.

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?: I think I'd know my way around Stars Hollow pretty well.

what is your favourite piece of art?: Ophelia by John Edward Millais

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?: I have a venti white pearlescent Starbucks cup. I need a new one though. Those owala ones are tempting!

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave?: I don't shout about it, but sometimes a slow burn is sooooo good. The yearningggg

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?: my current bag is a leather crossbody satchel purse. I thrifted it and I love it. I have a hospital bracelet and a packet of Mrs dash from the psych unit in there. Lolol

If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?: Oh lordy. Carl. Lol I think Carl has similar dufus energy to Ian and Mickey clearly likes that. Ahaha 🫣

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?: AUs. I was so determined that all I wanted to read was canon compliant, post-canon, and filler.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?: Yes. And I think he tests it all the time. 😂 (Maybe that's part of the reason he wanted to get swole. Ian has bulked up and it is getting harder. Lol)

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?: I think Lip just assumed he could have it. And Debbie stole it at the soonest opportunity. "Because I'm a vulnerable, single mom, Lip!"

Thanks for playing! I'm gonna tag all these fine folks: @deedala @michellemisfit @suchagallabitch @jrooc @mybrainismelted @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @heymrspatel @thepupperino @mickeysgaymom @milkmaidovich @creepkinginc @too-schoolforcool @tellmegoodbye @metalheadmickey @heymacy @iansw0rld @callivich @energievie