#I AM STRUGGLING.

[lavendermoonshine7]

Neon Leon!

art block punched me in the guts the past couple of days but it’s fine!

[stabbyfoxandrew]

hello all,

i have started revamping my vampjean fic, all the way from the top (of the OG Main Story, not the prologue where he's turned or the kevjean smut piece i've already posted)

would you hate me so much if i were to have the first chapter of it in past tense and the rest in present?

[docholligay]

Doc how do you feel about a Harry Potter-inspired YA book that really...wait! Where are you going?

I think the real bullshit tragedy of Harry Potter is: I truly and actually can really, really love magic shit. Magic, and the limits of it, and learning how to master it, these are all things that I can genuinely love. Part of the reason that I am so angry about my own personal True Blood, Shadow and Bone*, is that I LOVE the magic system as she is set up, I love the IDEA behind it, I love that the underpinnings of how they have set it against the Not!Europe at the edge of Not!WW1 is DRIPPING WITH POSSIBILITY.

But so much of this magical school/magic user/fantasy world shit is caught up in God's Specialist Boy Chosen One narratives, which are not interesting to me, an old woman who sees the world won and lost on the back of groups and teamwork. I am no longer fantasizing about being the Chosen One, I am fantasizing about a group of talented people who can communicate and compromise JUST well enough to keep the world going, because that is a fucking adult fantasy world, let me tell you.

It's that and it's Thing One and Thing Two falling in love and that's the central piece and there is no amount of QUILTBAG or racial or cultural identities you could put on Thing One and Thing Two that would make that compelling for me. Have you noticed in my writing there's very few meet-cute, how they got together stuff? It's not just that interesting to me. I like love! Romantic and platonic both! But what matters to me are what those relationships mean to us, and what they make us do, and how they move us in tension with our other ideals. I would much rather open with Fareeha Amari, married, somehow, though she has a clear stick up her sculpted ass, and over time, we see what it is Angela sees in her, what she saw in her when they DID meet, what there IS under all of it, but all of that is SO much more fun when I already know that she has brought the same level of intensity and devotion that she does for everything from military maneuvers to a trip to the grocery store.

But I LOVE magic, especially in less-magic contexts. So for example, I really, for a time, loved the Dresden Files before it really sharply fell off even as pulp. I would ADORE a grown up magical girl story that was really an urban fantasy type. I want Minako to be 23 and trying to make rent. Part of why Shadow and Bone (GOD I AM SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT THIS I BLAME YOU JEWLET) got to me is I loved that the magic users aren't an accepted part of life, that what they do is odd and awed. I have inserted my blorbos into it, of course I have. But yes, i love when the magic is grounded in the BOREDOM of a 'real' world instead of Lorde Filip DuKazmeri of the Throne of Blood and Tears riding in from Happenstance-upon-Milquetoast on his dragon with a Slintergast** at his hip.

ANYWAY, all this to say that when Harry fucking goddamn potter came around, so much magic that is based in 'reality' became patterned after that, and I'm just, so tired of reading it, and I'm so tired of the geegaws and easy morality because fantasy wants rto either be straight Up YA or teehee adult fiction that's mostly a cover for being YA gaymance, and so fantasy and I essentially broke up in like....2009? I want to say? Maybe 2010? Sometime around there, and I rarely drive past its house to see what's going on anymore, the well is fully poisoned now.

*the really bad Netflix television show that is also not good and I recommend to no one. I will not read the books, i have suffered enough.

**sword but like, real cool looking.

[lackeyhenchman]

One weird side effect of taking private twitter public is that it feels uncouth to post my face on the blog where I am constantly talking about how to get my Durge's ass ruined

[a-lonely-tatertot]

head in hands

[windstir]

i am planning ...

[oasisofgalaxies]

despite having like fifty references for this building i cant. seem to recreate it in mc.

[chocolatecatcupcakecheese]

The worst part of trying to edit Gortash’s voice lines into suggestive sexy audio is that he doesn’t have enough heavy breathing sounds for me to use 😭😭😭😭😭

[hyewka]

does anybody know any good creators on tumblr who take commissions for fic banners 🥲

[gremnda]

*in tears* it doesn't need to look good it just needs to be it doesn't need to look good it just needs to be it doesn't need-

[byrnelokomo]

who translated the ancient hyrulean tablets. i just wanna talk.

[akinachiri]

i dont do genshin building and im really starting to regret that bc im. trying to ascend scara but the aeonblight drake fight takes ungodly long

[andiaquarium-moved]

everyone give me ur power so i can draw yuri

[swagyna]

jfc i read "move out" as "come out"......

no judgements at all here. i was thinking about the possibility of moving out and wanted to know what age other people did

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[wrathful-reptile]

i am trying so hard to get this website set up but the only guide my brain can follow is out of date so now i'm stuck because phpmyadmin won't open because lorekeep runs on 7.4 and the files are obsoleted??

I don't understand code. I don't know how to fix tech problems.