#I AM SORRY THIS IS SLOW I HAVE BEEN VERY BLAH LATELY

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Heat is Rising

Sorry this late, blah blah real life actual job blah blah.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 8 of 12 - Why is it so good?! It’s unfair. Cause I know pain must be incoming. Also... Yak moved to the "rao" pronoun for his confession! SO ADORABLE!!!!! Can you see me kicking my feet and squealing with joy on this side of the screen? Well I am. 

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I think I'm finding this show a lot funnier than the show is trying to be. The pose in the doorway. The sparkle pants. The creaking of the leather. It’s all hilarious. The foot massage. So silly. Simultaniously, full of thirst. Yay! I like thirst. Not entirely sure why he’s dicking him around and not dicking him out but hey the tension is fun. Also the shot staging is very good. Very yaoi. Lin going to have so much power in this relationship once he starts trying on seduction for size. All just to say, it’s good and I’m enjoying it.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - you know I'm enjoying it a lot, so a surprise to see a Star Hunter beat it out? It's just MosBank are SERVING classic BL and I am a sucker for that kinda smut. Back to Stand-In...

It’s sad and a little complicated and interesting. And I’m still enjoying it very much. But this episode was mostly a rehash of information we already had been given, it was slow. Although since the acting is so good in this particular show, I didn’t mind it as much as I might have in a pulp piece, for example. 

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - I’m very much enjoying this. Not quite as much as I initially enjoyed the JBL version. But I’m liking a lot. There’s something particularly high school teen YA angst about this IP. Even more so than something like Make it Right or Love Sick. It’s just the cringe reactions and the constant embarrassments and the roller coaster of emotions that each character goes through in every scene. I forgot how exhausting it is to be a teen.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 12 of 16 - We Are Cute continues to be very cute indeed. Honestly Phum doesn’t need to flirt with Peem, Peem is already in love. The learning about each other is fun, but the fact that Phum still constantly communicates via kissing is great. I love that we have a couple whose love language is smooches. TanFang endgame is my favorite, I fucking LOVE them. But... NO SINGING. Worst fake band ever? Place docked in BL standing this week for that alone.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - It's fine I guess? Trash watch here.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It’s ridiculous and they're very cute and I kind of don’t know what’s going on. But the young one getting his first dildo and skipping with excitement was utterly adorable. And it is the first rep we’ve got for such a thing in this genre. So good on you little pulp!

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - Everything felt a little rushed and oddly paced in this episode. Not entirely sure why K came back to him. Anyway, I hope it’s all explained in the finale.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10fin - I’ve made no secret about the fact that I haven’t been wild about this show.

Here’s a few things I enjoyed about the final episode: Uke initiated the sex scene!! Lots of tenderness. Long takes plus the absence of (and then very gentle introduction of) music. Unexpectedly high heat. Condom rep! The gayest bedroom layout ever. What I didn’t like: The absolute pinnacle of frustration for P'ABL on the other side of the screen wanting to grab the leads and shake them until their teeth rattled and scream "FOR THE LOVE, just TALK to each other!"  Oh but they are so cute and SO POLITE when the finally do reconcile! 

In conclusion:

A BL about the making of a BL where the famous one has a crush on the obscure one. It’s already been done.  Recently. By Japan. I would be tempted to say "better" but I didn’t like the first version either. At least this was less stalkery? Look, this show was fine. Just, in a word: cool, unengaging, and frustrating. OK that was 3 words. But they’re apt. A lackluster offering with a great ending. How to rate that? I despaired but ended up on 7/10 - do better Japan, I know you can.

Blue Boys (Korea YouTube) - it got its part 2, thank the BL gods, rounding this one into an 8 ep series. Still short (those eps barely scrape 10 min at most) but a solid little offering.

Charming reunion romance full of class + coming out struggles and great chemistry all of which was let down by a curtailed length. Had it just been given some legs, it could have grown wings and taken flight, but in the end it is simply too short. Still enjoyable and certainly worth your time. Cause ya don't need much of it. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down.

In case you missed it

I mean you were under a rock on Tues Jan 18th Thailand's senate passed the Marriage Equality Bill. As of typing this, the King still has to sign it into law, but he's unlikely to veto. So it's a matter of time before everything is official. Thailand follows Nepal (2024) and Taiwan (2019). Both of those were judicial, Thailand's is legislative.

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continued the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 and was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Last of the June Releases

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

6/30 The Trainee (Thailand Sun YouTube) 12 eps- office romance between a boss/employee featuring OffGun. Taking over Boo's spot for GMMTV.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Lip touch! So sexy. So rare from Korea. Blue Boys.

I do love a meta call out moment.

Tiny idiots (affectionate)

Love their kisses. Such a great side couple.

All Wandee.

(Last week)

QUICK NOTE: I'm flying international back next weekend and the damn thing is gonna take like 72 hours or whatever insanity. Needless to say, I may not get to this round-up for ages. So don't panic, I'm not dead just sleeping.

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[baizhuswifey]

Baizhu sugar daddy fanfic

A little description

So lately you've been on whatever the genshin version of tender is and you meet the man of your dreams he's tall, he's handsome, he's gorgeous, he's polite, he's rich, he's kind,and he's a DOCTOR.say less am I right he's the most awesome amazing man you have ever seen. You guys schedule a day all that nice stuff,he ends up getting you both a reservation to this really really nice restaurant it's nice and stuff but it's for them RICH RICH PEOPLE.you don't even know if you got the right type clothes for it.spending half your pay check just for a new outfit and some jewelry.anyways into the fanfic

*you get a call from your date saying he's outside your house to pick you up for your date you expect to see a random old Toyota and him dressed casually......you were wrong you step out the house and he said "sorry this is the most normal looking I have" BRO PULLED UP WITH A WHOLE LAMBORGHINI LIKE ITS NORMAL "uhm...*gulp* that's totally I guess" you manage to get out of your mouth before you break down in tears begging him to marry you...."you look gorgeous tonight may I say that outfit you have certainly fits you" he says grabbing your wrist kissing your hand "also may I say whatever perfume you are wearing smells very nice, I pick the write person to go on a date with, am I right???" He says to you jokingly "thank you you're very nice" you say back snickering a little knowing it came right out of the 50 percent off basket from bath and body works or maybe stolen from your schools lost and found bucket???"anyways I booked us a nice reservation at this really nice hotel now it isn't five star but it is very nice please forgive me" he loudly whispers "it's okay I would've been fine if you took me to a chick fila and I would have loved it" you thought as you quietly and awkwardly giggled......"hehe...it's okay I guess" you say

"no really I wanted to take you to the best of the best restaurant but all I could find that wasn't fully booked"

Time skip

"here's the restaurant where you can order anything you would like cheesecake wine steak,whatever you please" he says,gently holding your hand. "Please help yourself..." You brighten up slightly "but I would prefer we get desert together somewhere else perhaps" immediately you get to ordering "I want a medium well steak with a side of broccoli cheese and rice casserole extra cheese then I want a blah blah blah blah blah" and you went on and on and on

Your food finally gets here and you start shoving your mouth full "damn dear you can put it down" he whispers as he quietly eats his chicken Alfredo while watching you eat ,mesmerized at how fast and how much you can eat..."it's like you don't feed yourself at home"........munch munch much "oh yea I'm broke and I eat like 99 cent ramen for breakfast lunch and dinner" you say chowing down on what you could say was the best meal of your life "slow down the foods not going anywhere"he says grabbing a napkin and wiping your chin and lips "pretty people like you shouldn't eat so..... roughly.."you gently look up at him admiring his pretty amber eyes

I'll write. Chapter when I'm not such a busy bee

(so so sorry guys it took me like a week as said I'm a busy bee with bad grades)

Also taking fanfic ideas of baizhu and I will try to write on time this time😭😭

[musicanddancingthroughlife]

Shklance - I Died

I feel like I basically dropped off the face of the planet, and for that I apologize. I have no excuses, except stress and mental health have been a huge problem lately and I’ve just been trying to find balance in my life. I can’t promise anything in the near future, with holidays coming up, and I have finals in like 3 weeks, and then my husband and I are moving at the end of the year, and then my little sister’s wedding is a few weeks after so I’m helping with that, and basically my life is just a mess right now, but I am still working on stuff, comments are always welcome and really do help to get me motivated, and hopefully I can get back into the groove of writing daily and posting weekly!

This story is probs gonna be a part 1 of 2. Hopefully. As is, I wanted it to be a stand alone, but I’ve been drafting it for almost a month now and I just want to throw it at you guys. So know I’m working on a part 2, where they talk about the whole thing and you see everyone’s reactions to what happened. This was actually a request someone made of me on my Ao3 account, but I’ve always loved reading stories dealing with everyone finding out about Lance dying. Just never thought I could do it justice haha. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------

Lance knew that this was going to be an emotional day for all of them, but seriously, this was a little overkill. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today.

Sure, it was the one-year anniversary of the day they all saved the universe, ended the war that had gone on for decades, blah blah blah, but getting up also meant that he was going to have to see everyone again.

Not that he wasn’t thrilled to see them! He and Hunk especially had been waiting for this day for months, and he couldn’t wait to see Pidge and Matt again, either. Last Lance had talked to them, they had been working on some seriously neat stuff. They were sure to be a lot of fun.

Hell, he had even been looking forward to seeing Allura again, even though things had never really been the same between them after Allura broke things off. Though, considering how hurt he was still feeling about their break up, it was probably a good thing she had canceled last minute. She’d said that she needed to focus on helping the universe heal. Lance had wanted to go with her, but she rejected him. He knew she was trying to be kind, telling him that he “deserved the time to rest” and that she “knew how much he’s been missing his home planet.” But really, all it had done was serve to remind him that he wasn’t actually necessary.

Not like Shiro and Keith were.

Allura hadn’t had any problems taking them with her, even though everyone else (even Keith) and agreed that if anyone deserved the down time, it was Shiro. Especially since Shiro had seemed a little weary when he accepted the invitation from Allura. Personally, Lance believed the only reason he agreed to go was because he knew that Keith wouldn’t be happy staying in one place anymore, and of course, there was no way they were going to allow themselves to be separated again, not after everything that had happened…

And Lance was even looking forward to seeing Keith and Shiro, since he had probably missed them the most. But he also knew that it was going to be hard. It was always hard seeing them together, but knowing that they’ve been doing so much good out in the universe, that they’ve gotten to see so much more of those worlds than he had… That was going to be hard.

Not to mention Lance still hadn’t managed to shake the crushes he’d had on them for so long now.

Or the fact that while everyone else was off changing the universe, traveling the galaxies, creating newer and better technology and inventions, Lance had done nothing? Okay, so farming wasn’t nothing. And no one could deny that Earth needed some TLC after the trauma of the war had nearly destroyed it. But as much as he enjoyed the simple hard work involved, that didn’t mean he didn’t understand it was stupid. It was pathetic. His friends were still fighting, in their own ways, and Lance felt as if he had simply given up. He couldn’t figure out what he wanted to spend his time doing, what felt most worthy of his time and attention, and so he had allowed himself to fall back on something easy.

And he wasn’t sure that he could face his friends while knowing the truth about himself, that he was a coward and had no mission or goals in life.

******

So, maybe Lance was a bit of a drama queen, because things had actually been going better than he expected. Everyone looked good, older and more experienced. Hunk had even grown out some facial hair, though it was a little sparse coming in. Lance knew that wouldn’t be the case for very long. The most shocking was Allura’s news about expecting a child (Keith and Shiro had passed it on in her absence). That hurt way more than Lance thought had a right to, but he tried hard to suppress that pain until he could process it in private. Possibly while crying over a tub of ice cream.

And as far as their actual dinner and celebration went, well… it really had been inevitable that their discussion would become heavier. And, as usual, Lance couldn’t keep his own mouth shut.

“We had some good times, though, right?” Lance laughed easily, trying to direct the conversation back to something lighter, something easier (at this point he’d had a couple decades to cement his masks, and he was good at pretending like nothing was wrong). “I mean, we might have been injured, and tortured—”

“Lance,” Hunk warned. He darted a quick, concerned look to Keith and Shiro, but thankfully neither of them looked too worried. Instead, they were staring at Lance with such sappy looks Hunk was irritated Lance wasn’t paying enough attention to notice on his own. A shared glance with Pidge told him that at least he wasn’t alone in his annoyance.

Lance continued thoughtlessly, “and I mean, maybe a couple of us died, but hey! In the end, it all turned out okay, and look at everyone, living their best lives!” (Lance was firmly ignoring the fact that he had spent most of his free time leading up to today pouting in bed. No one else knew, and therefore it didn’t count.)

Pidge opened her mouth, but Shiro spoke first. His brows were furrowed, and his nose had scrunched up a little. Lance wanted to melt at the cuteness of it. “Did someone else die? I thought I was the only one. Who else died?”

Lance’s jaw snapped shut. He couldn’t remember if it had even been brought up or not… It had to have, right? There’s no way his friends – his team – had just gone on for this long without knowing! He thought they were just ignoring it! Things had been crazy, and they’d never really gotten a chance to slow down and breathe, let alone discuss everything that had happened. And that was fine! That was to be expected! But now he was supposed to believe they just didn’t know??? Did that mean they didn’t care? That they didn’t notice all the nightmares that had become the norm after his death? The way he was jumpier for months after that battle? And if that were the case, then was it even worth bringing up now, so long after it had happened?

Lance’s face was burning, the warm flush traveling up to the tips of his ears, and possibly all the way down his neck. He could feel his eyes welling up, but he brushed it away, pretending his face palm in order to hide the movement. He glanced at his friends, unsurprised to find Hunk staring at him intently. Pidge was muttering to herself, obviously trying to determine what had happened on her own. Lance couldn’t even bear to drag his gaze to Keith or Shiro.

He tried to get out of answering Keith.

“Oops haha, must’ve miscounted, I meant to say that one of us had died,” Lance laughed again but unlike earlier, this one was decidedly uncomfortable. “Because. Obviously. One of us… did. Sorry, Shiro. But like, you died. That happened. And it was weird and we got a weird clone out of the deal, which was weird – did I say that already? – and like he wasn’t a great dude, so I’m glad you didn’t stay dead, you know? You’re much nicer than that clone was, he was kind of a jerk. No offense, Shiro. I mean, not that you’re the clone or anything, cause you’re Shiro, and that was Not-Shiro—”

Oh dear God why wouldn’t they shut him up? Lance was so busy panicking about what he was saying that he didn’t notice Shiro and Keith slowly standing, approaching him from each side. But Hunk and Pidge could almost see the concern rising off them.

“But he was mean, and he yelled at us a lot. Although I guess he really spent most of his time yelling at me, which really, makes sense, but again, not something you would’ve done, Shiro, so I’m glad you didn’t stay dead or anything, because Not-Shiro was a terrible replacement and—”

“Shiro yelled at you?” Keith had come close enough that he could lay a warm, gentle hand on Lance’s shoulder. Lance almost flinched at the contact, it had been so long since someone had touched him like that. Sure, he saw his family way more often than he had while they were fighting in space, but, come on. They were fighting in space. He never saw them back then! Anything was an improvement over that! Anyway, the point was, he knew he was lonely. He ignored it. It didn’t matter. His friends were happy, his family was safe.

“Weren’t you listening when I said it was Not-Shiro?” was all Lance could think to say. Keith rolled his eyes.

“Why did he yell at you?” Shiro asked. Lance shrugged.

“Lance had some good advice to share. Though honestly, I’m thinking that Lance’s plan just wouldn’t have suited the clone’s purposes and he wanted to make sure that Lance would stop pushing. So he yelled, knowing that would be enough to shut Lance down,” Hunk said. He shot Lance an apologetic look as he did so. Smart, because Lance was Not Happy with him. Now wasn’t the time to share petty hurts!

“Personally, I believe it was because if anyone was going to find out he wasn’t really Shiro, it would’ve been you,” Pidge shrugged. And really, et tu, Pidge? This wasn’t fair at all. Not to mention, now Lance could feel the now-familiar guilt from knowing he hadn’t been able to tell.

And that was what finally had Lance speaking up. “Oh come on, guys, that’s not even the worst any of us suffered out there! Lotor joined the team! I died! Shiro died! Keith left! We had bigger things to deal with!”

There was a brief silence following this, long enough for Lance to squeeze his eyes shut and briefly mutter “Fuck” to himself, and then—

“What do you mean, you died?”

Lance’s ability to make things worse every time he opens his mouth really should be considered a wonder of the world.

He opened his eyes hesitantly to find that everyone was watching him intently. Tears were welling in Hunk’s eyes, and Lance knew that if he paid too much attention to his friend, then he would break almost instantly. He avoided looking in that direction, lips pursed shut, determined to stay quiet now. But they were just as determined to make him talk.

“Lance, please, what happened?” and since when the hell does Pidge beg? That’s just wrong. But effective, because that wrongness made Lance jerk his head up, eyes accidentally locking with Shiro.

He looked so sad…

“It really wasn’t a huge deal, I was just saying that there was a lot happening. It was pretty much impossible for all of us to keep up with each other, what with Lotor and Allura, and Keith disappearing then coming back, and the search for Shiro… and Hunk, Pidge, you guys had a great team thing going on there. That was a lot of fun! And then remember Coran had us playing Monsters and Mana? Good times!”

“You played what?” Keith asked, confused. Then he shook his head. “Stop distracting us, Lance. Answer the questions.”

“Um. What questions?”

Keith’s face hardened, eyes doing that dangerous flinty thing that Lance had always loved to see when he got mad. But before he could say anything, Lance’s phone went off. He really did try to hide the relief on his face as he stood, but the way Shiro set his jaw made him think he was not successful.

Before Lance could answer the call, he felt his phone plucked from his fingers. He lunged for it, and Keith slipped it into his own back pocket, out of Lance’s reach. Even worse, his lunge for it brought their faces way too close. Lance jerked back, face flaming a bright red, but he felt himself crash back into Shiro’s firm, solid chest. He started to stammer apologies, but Keith’s hands settled on Lance’s shoulders, pulling him away, and then he and Shiro pushed him back down into his chair. As Shiro moved to kneel next to Lance’s chair, Keith held him there, grounding and sure. He leaned down, putting his mouth close to Lance’s ear and then murmured “Please. We need to know. We’re horrible friends for not already knowing, but we’re asking now and we need you to tell us. Let us help.” And Shiro gripped Lance’s arm, thumb smoothing against his darker skin, making it harder and harder for Lance to want to move.

Lance knew that they were blowing this out of proportion. But he still felt touched. He’d thought they were just ignoring his death because other things were happening at the same time, but maybe that wasn’t really the case. Maybe they truly hadn’t known. Maybe Allura had never said anything, and Lance, expecting Allura to say something, hadn’t said anything either, and so maybe they just didn’t know. Maybe sharing it now would be okay.

[passp0rtguardian]

BENREY AMGST PART 2 BLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

((*SOBS* I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE BUT I FINALLY DELIVER))

--

Benrey had a lot of things to think about on the walk over to Tommy's house. Most of those thoughts were about Gordon. And guilt. There was a lot of guilt there too.

Their first thought after their initial outburst and storming out was that maybe Gordon didn't do it on purpose. Well, obviously he didn't do it on purpose. That's what made Benrey so angry in the first place.

Gordon was as dumb as a box of rocks- their whole thing was a game, so obviously he thought that they didn't have actual personalities. But how come he still got close to everyone else? Tommy, Coomer, Bubby? Just not them?

Benrey looks around to make sure nobody's watching before blowing out some sweet voice- low toned blue, grey, black, and a soft pink that didn't mix but joined the crescendo of lower and lower tones.

Eventually they did get to Tommy's place, although it was longer when you were walking. Tommy had a nice house with a little flowerbed out in the front. It was painted a calming shade of yellow, and there were cute little decorations on the porch that Benrey took care to avoid as they stepped up and knocked.

Tommy answered the door after a few seconds, because Tommy always answered the door no matter what time you knocked. He had bedhead as if he woke up out of a deep sleep to answer the door, but he still looked bright and awake.

"Buh-Benrey? What are you- what are you doing here?" Tommy asked, already stepping to the side to let Benrey in. They stepped in, flopping down on pup's couch like this was their second home. Sunkist woke up from her nap to bark out a couple sweet voice orbs in a greeting.

"got problems tommy," Benrey answered in their usual monotone, splaying themselves out over the couch dramatically. "has feetman always been stupid?"

"Well- I- I wouldn't call him stupid, that's- that's mean!" Tommy said, carefully sitting down near Benrey's head and beckoning them over. Benrey gladly set their head in his lap, and he immediately took to stroking their hair. "Just- just a little, um, slow on the uptake. Wh-Why do you ask?"

"he- he got all gordon meanman on me, all fuckin- 'blah blah benrey what are you why are you like this mneh mneh' you know?" Benrey grumbled a little; it was a tone only someone like Tommy could pick up.

"That's- that's rather rude!" Tommy gasped a little, although it quickly turned into a huff. "I'm sure he- he wouldn't like it if we asked- if we asked if he was human!"

"i know! totally- totally not cool bro! very sucks!" Benrey groaned, covering their face a little. "doesn't even try to getta know me, gordon meanman, gordon- dumbdon stupidman-"

"But Benrey," Tommy started, making Benrey pause and look up at pup. "Have you ever let him get to know you?"

"... well- no-" Benrey finally muttered after a few seconds of silence.

"That's- that's where the problem is. If you, if you want my rational viewpoint on it. He doesn't- he doesn't make an effort to get to know you, but you don't t- you don't let him get to know you either." Tommy stated, running his fingers through Benrey's hair.

"hh- bbbbbb- why do you gotta be so smart?" Benrey whined, making Tommy laugh a little.

"Cause- cause I'm a scientist, silly!" Tommy laughed a bit, but his expression quickly shifted into a more serious one. "Buh, but, if you don't want- want to go back yet, you can, you can stay here for the night. I have ex- lots of blankets!"

"bbbbbb.... yeah i wanna stay. don't wanna go back to meanman yet." Benrey finally decided. "wanna uhhh,,, watch all dogs go to heaven 2?"

"Benrey, at- at this point we're gonna forget the, the plot of the first one!"

--

((i know i left it off on another cliffhanger don't kill me aaaaaaa-

the sweet voice benrey spewed out in order, all in low tones, goes as follows: sadness, self soothing, guilt, and longing))

[ineloqueent]

the whole of the moon

Platonic!Queen x Reader

cannot remember where this gif is from. if it’s yours, drop me a line!

synopsis: a late-night shopping trip goes awry...

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking

word count: 1.8k

a/n: happy birthday, dearest vi ( @doing-albri​ )!! i hope you have a wonderful day, because you deserve it. i’m sorry this is so short; i’ve been terribly busy, for whole months, it seems. but i’ve done my best, and i hope you’ll enjoy it. inspired by this song <3

⭒

1975

“Just like old times,” said Roger happily, cranking up the music and beginning to tap his fingers on the steering wheel.

Brian immediately grimaced, and reached over to turn the volume down again.

“Hey!” Roger smacked Brian’s hand away from the knob, and you laughed, from your place between John and Freddie in the backseat.

Brian turned his head to wink at you.

“Some of us need our hearing to be able to play, Rog,” he said.

John wrinkled his nose, flexing his fingers as he shifted a ring from his pointer to his pinky, and back again. “You’ve still got yours left?”

Brian looked confused. “Yeah..?”

“Oh,” said John, with an air of sarcasm, “that’s right. You’re the one who talked our ears off yesterday.”

Now Brian looked miffed. “Just because you don’t understand zodiacal light, doesn’t mean it’s uninteresting.”

Deacy rolled his eyes.

“No offense, darling,” Freddie sighed, “but if you say one more word about science before we’ve finished this champagne-run, I’m going to climb over the console and strangle you.”

Roger guffawed, and John grinned so broadly one would’ve thought him a small child on  Christmas morning.

“Fine,” said Brian, miffed. “I won’t talk at all.”

“Good riddance,” Roger muttered, and Brian crossed his arms.

“Why did I agree to going with you all, again?”

You leaned forward to tug on one of his curls, and Brian whirled, startled, pushing his fingers into his hair. He relaxed when he saw it was only you. “To be the voice of reason, of course,” you told him.

He smiled. “You’re not wrong.”

Roger grumbled, “Don’t boost his ego, sweetheart.”

“Too late,” said Freddie. “He’s going to start talking about time dilation any moment now.”

“Time dilation?” Brian asked. “Hadn’t even thought of that. But if you really want to know—”

A collective groan rose from the other three, and you laughed again.

You loved this.

You loved them.

You loved travelling the world with your four best friends, watching them live their dreams, and getting to be a part of that reality, the reality no one could ever have thought would take on such a life of its own.

Tour life could be hectic at times, but you wouldn’t have given it up for the world.

Not when you arrived in a ramshackle town where the nicest place in sight was the funeral home, not when your legs felt tired enough to give out from beneath you, as you stood watching the show from the wings, for the umpteenth night in a row.

Because when John decided to put on a record, he always asked for your opinion, and picking Roger’s outfit was as much your job as it was his, and when Brian and Freddie played to the crowd as though they were old friends, it was like you held the world in the palm of your hand.

Even if the four of them argued constantly.

As the van suddenly swerved, and the three of you in the back clung to each other in terror, Brian said crossly, “Jesus, Roger, watch the road!”

“I am!” protested the drummer, and Brian grumbled a response in the negative.

“You absolutely are not,” said Freddie, hanging onto the headrest of Brian’s seat. “And I refuse to die in the middle of nowhere, thank you very much, so you can keep your eyes forward if you want to still be in the band by tomorrow night.”

Roger rolled his eyes, and made a blah blah blah gesture with his hand. But he was clearly not as adept at multitasking as he thought, because a moment later, Deacy cried,

“Watch out for that deer!”

“Yes, Roger, slow down,” said Brian warningly. “I swear I will murder you in cold blood if you kill that deer.”

“What deer?” Roger squinted. “I don’t see a— DEER!”

He swerved so violently this time that your seatbelt dug into your skin, and you pushed against the seatbacks to keep from falling forward.

The van hurtled off the side of the road, but Roger had somehow managed to slow the vehicle significantly before the swerve, and so the off-road trip would have been only a momentary pause in your journey into town.

Had it not been for the barbed wire lying in the grass.

The tyres of the van had surely seen better days, after so many miles on the road, and you felt the moment all four of them punctured.

Roger gripped the steering wheel for dear life, and Brian, struggling to combat inertia, had both hands on the dashboard, one knee against the console and other against the door, whilst Freddie still clung to the headrest, and John pushed at the back of Roger’s seat. You, stranded in the middle, failed to maintain any sort of position.

The van ploughed forward like a tidal wave, into the field by the road, then sank abruptly to a stop with a whumph, when the last of its momentum had been wasted.

There was a silence as you looked around the car, at Roger’s tousled hair and Brian’s wide eyes, Freddie’s gritted teeth and John’s crooked collar.

Then the shouting started.

“Roger you moron!”

“How the hell did you not see that coming?!”

“I’ve told you, I need to get my eyes checked!”

“Well, kindly do it before you kill us all!”

“I’ve seen 90-year-old women drive better than you do!”

“Fuck off, Brian! If you hadn’t—”

“We’re never going to get that champagne!”

You all turned to Freddie.

“Really,” you said, “you’re thinking about Moët et Chandon right now?”

Freddie shrugged. “Seems we’d all be in better humour if we’d had the option to have a glass before we left.”

“Or maybe,” Brian drawled, “we’d all be dead, because Roger can barely drive when he’s sober.”

Roger was fuming, bright red in the face with a will to speak but no adequate words to suit, and he looked as though if he stayed silent for a moment longer, he would try to throw a punch at Brian.

Brian, to his credit, folded his arms and raised an eyebrow, and stared Roger down.

Laughter broke the silence, and you all turned to find John completely beside himself with amusement.

He did not stop laughing until he was wiping tears from his eyes, and by then, you had begun smiling too.

“What,” barked Roger.

Deacy shook his head, his soft hair flying about his face. “Don’t any of you see how funny this is?”

“Funny..?” asked Brian cautiously.

“Well,” said Deacy, “are any of you hurt?”

You looked around, tallied the appearances of everyone in your head.

“No,” you replied.

“Okay, then listen: we ran out of champagne, so, despite the fact that it was half-past eleven at night, we all piled into a sort of run-down van, without security, without crew, and set off to buy a bottle of champagne. We’d been driving for all of five minutes before we started arguing the first time, and half an hour into the trip, Roger drives us off the side of a road after Brian finishes rambling about science—”

“Astrophysics, actually—”

“—and all four tyres puncture,” John went on. “And now, we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

There was a pause.

But despite everything, John was right. This really was funny.

You started to laugh as well, and Deacy grinned at you until both Freddie and Brian were smiling, and the corner of Roger’s mouth tugged upward as his colour faded.

Brian sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls. “So, now what?”

“Spare tyres?” you suggested.

“About that…” Roger mumbled.

“Oh, dear god,” Freddie said, dropping his head to his hands.

John laughed again, and Brian made a noncommittal noise.

“So we walk,” you said.

Freddie shook his head. “I am not walking on the side of a road in the middle of the night.”

Roger wrinkled his nose too. “Bloody insects,” he muttered, “get in your hair.”

“And Brian’s stretched his hamstring again,” said Deacy. You glanced over at Brian, who winced apologetically. He wasn’t one to complain, though; you’d all but forgotten his incapacity.

“Which just leaves just you and me,” Deacy nodded to you.

“I dunno, Deacs,” you made a face. “Freddie’s onto something, about not walking on the side of a deserted road in the pitch black. And,” you continued, before John could object, “you’re not going on your own. We’ll simply have to wait until morning.”

Everyone seemed lost in thought.

“Right,” Brian said, “that’s it.” He pulled on the handle of the passenger door, and it clicked open. “We’re sleeping under the stars.”

“Not this again!” Roger cried, but Brian reprimanded him.

“I think you’ve said enough for the time being, Rog.”

The heavy door slammed behind Brian, and you could hear the boot being opened.

“He’s right, you know,” John remarked, in a rare display of solidarity with the guitarist.

Roger only sniffed.

A few seconds later, Brian knocked on Freddie’s window.

“Come on, then!” he said, smilingly. “I’m only sorry none of us brought our instruments.”

Deacy widened his eyes at you. “Thank god for that.”

You laughed and pushed him lightly, toward his door, and when he’d hopped out, you followed.

You rounded the car with John, to find Brian already staring up at the sky, as Freddie and Roger joined you as well.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Brian murmured.

You turned your face to the sky, and saw what he meant.

There was no light pollution here, no skyscrapers or tall houses to obstruct the view, and the world above stretched on endlessly, a plethora of life above your heads. It was so very bright, and yet so very far away. It was indeed beautiful.

You breathed the night air, and nodded.

“I found a picnic blanket,” Brian added, holding it up, “and apparently, Crystal keeps a chocolate stash, so we’ve got that too.” He then sank into the grass, stretching out his long legs, entirely without regard for the light blue suit he wore, and Freddie looked on in distaste.

“That’s no way to treat perfectly good fashion, darling. Now, if it’d been that horrible knitted sweater of yours, and those old, tatty velvet trousers, I’d have said otherwise, but that there is a perfectly good—”

“Sit down, Freddie,” you said, and Freddie closed his mouth and sat. You made your way over to Brian, who had now reclined completely, his fingers winding absently in the pale grass.

Soon, you were all sprawled in the field, which, funnily enough, was peppered with moonflowers, and you sighed, utterly at ease with the peacefulness of the scene around you: your family, the sky, the stars, and the whole of the moon. It shone radiantly this night, full and subtly tinged with orange, warmth softening the usual coldness of its light.

“Spare some of that chocolate?” John whispered from beside you.

You nudged Brian, who passed over the wrapped sweets, which you then handed to John.

Roger was placated by the sharing of the chocolate, and Freddie seemed perfectly content to laze about in a manner similar to that of one of his many cats. The latter fell asleep within minutes, having stolen Roger’s jacket.

It wasn’t long before only you and Brian remained awake, gazing up at the stardust which spilled from the heavens, and the world was quiet.

Brian shifted slightly, and you turned your head to find him looking at you.

A soft smile touched his lips, and his cheeks were rosy in the blue-dark.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said.

You could not help but smile back, because your heart was as full as it had ever been.

“I’m glad I’m here too,” you whispered.

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

Small Time Witch Ch 2

So I guess I’m writing a series. Part two of this story is starting to build my narrative. This story will be a super slow burn. Sorry if you’re looking for smut right off the bat. I like a plot. Check out Marvel Wiki for more info on Witches. Stay tuned for more.

Since Director Fury’s office was on the way to the training room you decided to drop off a few reports to his office. Since you were stopping by his office you decided to bring him what you assumed would be his third cup of coffee. You also knew he hadn’t eaten breakfast so you grabbed him a bagel too. Popping your head around the corner his assistant didn’t look up from the computer screen but she heard you. “He’s not in.” You didn’t say anything. You juggled your things grabbing your bagel with your teeth and headed down to the training room. You turned to push the door open with your back nearly falling over when someone grabbed it for you. You stumbled and almost dropped everything. You did not look up and made your way to the nearest table to set everything down. Fury was waiting watching you struggle.

“Oh hey. I have the third quarter budget ready for you to sign. I brought you a bagel and another cup of coffee. Hot bitter and joyless. Just like you like it.” He laughed. It wasn’t weird to you but everyone else in the room was stunned.

“Thank you, y/l/n. Go easy on them.”

“I make no promises, sir.” He shook his head still laughing to himself and left the room.

You turned around only expecting Loki but all of the Avengers were staring at you. Your bagel was hanging out of your mouth and one earbud was still in. You put it all down and muttered an apology. For a solid thirty seconds they all just stared at you. Tony was the first to break the silence.

“How and I mean HOW did you get Nick Fury to laugh? I swear I didn’t know he had teeth. Hand to God I’ve never even seen him so much as smile. Not even a smirk.” You didn’t answer immediately.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m funny.” You tried to sneak away and sit in the back but Steve stopped you. He directed you to a chair facing everyone and you felt like you were in trouble. Loki and Wanda were in your sight line trying to make you feel comfortable. It wasn’t working.

You were aware of everything around you. Clint tapped his pencil. Natasha shifted in her chair several times. Tony popped his gum. Bucky stood in the back with his arms folded. He had his eyes trained on you. Sam watched Steve. Rhodey checked his phone and sometimes stared out of the window. You heard the fluorescent bulbs buzzing over head. The air conditioning caught the plastic blinds on the window causing them to tap every few seconds. After a moment you were interrupted by Steve clearing his throat.

“Let’s get started. Y/N we are here to talk about your training schedule. We know in the past you were far away from danger in the van. For this next mission we’re afraid you won’t have that luxury. We are asking you to put yourself in harms way...”

“Essentially what Capsicle is trying to say is we won’t be able to protect you so you’ll have to protect yourself.” Tony interjected

Your eyes widened. You wished you could be sandwiched in between Wanda and Loki. They felt so far away even though it was just a few feet. Steve continued, “Are you up for this? We can really use your help but we can’t afford any mistakes. This is a very dangerous endeavor. A lot of moving parts. We won’t have each other’s sixes.”

“Uh yeah. I think I am. When you say training schedule....” Steve handed you a piece of paper with times and initials hand written. It was all in military time.

“0400 is that four in the morning? Like am?”

“Yes, ma’am. I know it’s early but we have a lot of ground to cover. Today you’ll spend half your time with Tony and Rhodey going over the schematics of the buildings we’ll be infiltrating. They’ll show you a replica of the security system and how they think it’s dismantled. The rest of the day with be with Loki. Tomorrow morning is when the physical work begins.”

You read further, “Weapons training?!”

“Yeah. That’s with Clint and Bucky. Nat will work on hand to hand. You’ll work with Sam and I in the gym.” This was all too much. All you could do was nod your head and take it all in. Steve kept talking. You felt like your insides were knotting and pulling. You squirmed in your seat. All of these things were imperceptible to everyone but Loki. He watched you and became more uneasy with every passing moment. Your psyche was reaching for him begging him to step in.

“Captain perhaps we should give Y/N a small break.” Steve clenched his jaw and was visibly irritated at Loki’s mere presence.

“This is important.” he said in a harsh whisper.

“Yes, I understand. You haven’t given her a moment to breathe. She was not forewarned that her first time out with all of you would include such high stakes. Let the poor girl eat her breakfast at least.”

Steve nodded and stepped away. Loki handed you your coffee and gave you a small half smile.

“I suggest you switch to tea. You are too frazzled for caffeine. We will not do anything strenuous this afternoon. You can relax.”

“Thank you. I’m about ready to bolt for the door and tell Fury to fuck off.”

“Now that would be fun to watch. I hope you don’t though. I’d certainly miss you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

He cocked his head to the side and thought for a moment. “No. I suppose you’re right. I feel strangely connected to you though. Your absence would create a hole in my life from which I’m not prepared to recover.”

Strangely you knew what he meant. You felt inexplicably bonded. You sat quietly taking small bites of your bagel while Loki studied you. The din of the room melted away and you felt calm. After a few moments Tony interrupted. “Hey, kid. You’re with us. We’re headed back to the compound.”

“Ok. I’m parked in the garage. I’ll meet you there.”

“Nonsense. Ride with me. I promise I won’t bite.” You laughed but weren’t so sure if he was joking. You looked back at Loki.

“I’ll see you this afternoon. Have fun.” He waved and you followed Tony.

Tony was far more chaotic than everyone else but you sort of enjoyed that about him. He talked fast thought fast and, much to your dismay, drove really really fast. He had a ton of questions for you. You answered but mostly he liked to hear himself talk. He was trying to figure out what headspace you were in. Were you evil? What were your intentions?

His lab was incredible. So many buttons and screens. You enjoyed the whir of the machines and the pattern of beeps and dings. Tony saw you looking around with wonder. He let you take it all in before he got down to business.

“Rhodey is joining us shortly. If you want to take a look here we can get started. Here is a mock up of the security system and the power grid.”

“It looks like the security system runs on its own power source here and the mainframe for power is on the opposite side of the building. I can’t take out both at the same time.”

“How much time will you need at each location?”

You bit your lip and tied your hair back so you could really think. “I’m not sure. There are back up generators. It would make more sense for me to cut power completely to security than to the building. I can be around 100 yards from the actual site so I won’t be detected. Better than going in blind.”

He bit the tip of his pen and smiled “I completely agree. FRIDAY run it.”

“Sure, Boss.”

Rhodey came in and they discussed tactical placement based on reconnaissance from SHIELD. It was tedious but weirdly fun. “Ok, kids. That’s lunch. Good work. High fives all around.”

The rest of the team started to file into the little kitchen off the lab. You helped yourself to a sandwich and a bag of chips. Bucky eyed your choices and you felt judged. “Enjoy those chips now. Once Steve gets a hold of you you’ll only get protein shakes and sadness.”

“Wait...why?”

Sam chimed in, “Cap’s all ‘food is medicine..blah blah blah’. Fact is you need fuel for your body to promote stamina. Cheeseburgers don’t help you run fast.”

You rolled your eyes and they both laughed. “You’ll get used to him.” Bucky added, “or you’ll stab him.”

Speak of the devil. “No stabbing, Buck.”

“But I like stabbing. I’m good at it.” he whined.

You loudly crunched a chip and Steve raised one eyebrow. “Chips huh? That’ll cost you tomorrow.”

“See? Sadness.”

Throughout the rest of lunch you joked and laughed with everyone. You were starting to feel more comfortable. The questions were easier “Where are you from...do you have a family..” You finished chatting and excused yourself to find Loki. Steve caught up with you in the hall.

You could feel that he was tense so you tried to ease his mind a little. “Apologizing again?”

“How’d you know?”

“Lucky guess. You don’t have anything to apologize for. I know what I signed up for.”

“You’re interesting. I don’t know quite how to read you. You seem so timid a lot of the time. I’m afraid to put too much on you. The other times you’re right up in the fray with the team. I don’t know where to step with you.”

“Electrokinesis is not my only power, Captain. I’m an empath. When tensions are high I feel that from everyone and the weight of that can be crushing. When you’re calm I’m calm.” He wasn’t quite sure how to respond . He’s come across all sorts of enhanced people and aliens and gods in the last few years it makes his head spin. This was the first time he had been so intrigued by one.

You glanced at your watch and saw you were late. Steve still looked puzzled. You patted him on the arm, “Ok, Captain. I have to go but good talk.”

“See you at 4. Am. That’s in the morning.”

You smiled at him over your shoulder.

Loki was in a conference room pacing and looking mildly annoyed. He had no real agenda for you today. There was no reason for you to be “on time”. He just hated to be kept waiting. And, the more he sees you the more he wanted to see you. You his little puzzle box aching to be undone. He was so engrossed in thought that he didn’t hear you come in.

“Sorry! I got caught up.”

“I do not like to be kept waiting. You’ll do well to remember for next time.”

You but your lip and furrowed your brows. “I’m sorry. Steve and I were talking and I kind of lost track of time. I won’t let it happen again.” You moved closer to him to touch his arm. You intended to put him in a better mood but he caught your wrist.

“I know what you’re doing. Your tricks won’t work on me, pet.” He squeezed grinding the tiny bones in your wrist, “Do you need to be reminded who is the pupil and who is the teacher? I am a god foolish little girl...”

Before you could stop yourself from saying the words you mumbled, “A demigod”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was silent for several seconds before breaking out into raucous laughter.

“You do have guts I’ll give you that, mortal.” You relaxed a little and laughed too. When he felt your body settle down he pulled you to him so hard your head snapped back.

“Demigod or not I can still split you in half with the flick of my wrist. Now sit.” he growled.

You sat in the chair rubbing your wrist. You fought back tears and didn’t make eye contact with him. He sat across from you and started to speak when he saw your chin quivering. He pulled your face toward his and spoke in a gentle tone, “That smart mouth is going to be the death of you, pet. I’m sorry I lost my temper. When you’ve collected yourself we can finally get started.” You tried to take a deep breath but started sobbing instead. He rolled his eyes and tried to comfort you the best he could. He rubbed your back and silently cursed the fragile mortal ego.

“Please don’t cry. I don’t know what to do when people cry. You know when I was a child it always made me feel better when I hurt Thor. Would that make you feel better hmm? Would you like to hurt Thor?” You laughed. He wiped tears from your face.

“There. That’s my girl. Do you feel better?”

“Yes. I’m sorry I was such an ass earlier. I guess I was over confident with our friendship or whatever this is.”

He scoffed, “Of course we’re friends. I fear we’re more alike than I care to admit. I have learned the hard way that magick can’t always be the answer.” He put his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. You snuggled onto his shoulder. In the stillness of the room you embraced.

He placed his hand on your forehead to extract your memories. Easier to watch instead of talk about it. He saw you running. Saw you pleading with your mother to come with you. Saw you trying to save the younger members of your coven. He heard the screams. The remnants of spells cut short. The roar of Hellfphyr. He felt your fear. Your pain. Your rage. These were things he understood well. Last he saw the most curious thing.

He watched you stand in the field where your coven performed your most sacred of rituals. You retrieved a small piece of parchment from your pocket. You raised your hands to the sky and said the incantation written there. Your eyes turned white and you were bathed in a bright white glow. Once it reached its peak it released and exploded. Everything around you was ash. Fat tears dripped down your face splashing on his hand. “Y/n, tell me about the spell.”

“My mother gave it to me. She said I was the only one strong enough to protect the coven’s magick. I’m not entirely sure what even happened when I did the spell. I blew stuff up I know that.”

He shifted so he could see you. “I think you took in all their magick. That’s what I’m feeling.”

The gears were turning in his head trying to figure out how to access what was inside of you. He paced and bit his thumb nail. Every now and then he would look up to say something but it wouldn’t quite make it out. “Come. It’s late. You need dinner and I need Wanda” he pulled you up by your hands, “Come now, darling. I have planning to do. Text Wanda. Ask her to meet us in the kitchen.”

Wanda was waiting when you got down there. “Hey. Y/N you look wrecked. What did you do to her?” she swung her head to look at Loki. He shook his head.

“I didn’t do anything. Listen. She’s a conduit!”

Wanda’s eyes widened, “No shit.”

“What’s a conduit? You asked but they kept talking over you.

“She performed a spell. I presume it was written by the leaders of her coven. The spell allowed her to take in all their magick when they passed.”

“That’s what we’ve been feeling..”

“HELLO?!” you shouted, “What’s a conduit? I know what the word means but in magical terms what does it mean?”

Wanda and Loki looked at you like they forgot you were there.

“When you did the spell you took in all the magick your coven had. All of their abilities all of the power that manifested on those sacred grounds now reside in you. Your mother must have known or else she wouldn’t have taught so hard to keep you safe.” Loki explained.

“Y/N do you have anything that belonged to your mother? The other members of your coven? Loki, maybe if she has something of theirs we can channel that energy.”

“Yeah my place. Let’s go. Shit. I don’t have my car. I’ll get us a ride.” You pulled out your phone and scrolled your contacts. You dialed Fury’s number. “Director Fury. I’m at the compound. Loki Wanda and I need to get to my car so I can get home. We discovered something. I need a ride.”

“Be outside in five.” He sounded less than amused.

“Thank you, sir” you hang up, “Ok. Our ride is on its way.”

They both looked at you like you grew another head. “Ok one day your are going to have to explain your relationship with Fury. Like who has his number?”

“He knows power when he sees it.” Loki said under his breath.

“You have explaining to do.”

“Later. Let’s get going.”

You moved quickly to the front gate constantly looking over your shoulder like you were doing something wrong. It’s not like you weren’t free to come and go. Not like you lived there. You just felt like you were escaping. It didn’t help that Bucky appeared out of nowhere.

“Where are you three off to?”

“My place.” He cocked an eyebrow and fixated on Loki.

“Witch stuff.” Wanda said to distract him. Just as he started to walk away a chopper descended in the open field. That ought to get everyone’s attention.

“That’s us!” You yelled motioning for the helicopter. Loki gave Bucky a thumbs up and smiled as you ascended.

Once all three of you had your cans on the pilot informed you that you’d be to your condo in less than 20 minutes.

“So we have time. Explain to me why Fury is so invested in you.”

“Just like Loki said. I’m powerful. He knows it. Just like he tried to acquire you but Hydra got to you first. Wanda it is no secret amongst the magical community that you are the most powerful witch alive. I’m surprised the Kales haven’t come after you.”

“Who are they?”

“A family with an ancient bloodline who controls the demon Helphyr. They sent it to murder my family. I was the only survivor. Now I know why. They won’t stop coming after me.”

That made Loki nervous and crazy angry. “You should come back to the compound with us. We can protect you.”

“No you can’t. I’m safer alone. My condo is warded. And if they come for me, they come. I won’t put any of you in harms way. I especially won’t endanger the lives of America’s mightiest heroes. You two can hold your own. The rest of them wouldn’t survive.”

Wanda looked out the window at the city sparkling beneath her. She thought about what Steve once said about everyone having their own agenda. She supposed she was part of Fury’s. She was well aware of her power but made her own choices. She was afraid that, because you were in such high favor with Fury, he was attempting to get you to persuade her to join SHIELD. The compound was her home. They were her family. She would never leave them.

She kept staring at you. You could feel her tension rising. You held her hand but didn’t attempt to influence her. You just held her hand. She and Loki were the closest friends you had right now. Sure Fury always has an agenda. It’s not exactly what Wanda thought. Fury’s personal mission was to never let any one group gain too much power. He knew it was a risk to introduce you to the two of them. You’re loyal to no one really. So, he treats you with more kindness than he extends to anyone else and takes good care of you. Loki wouldn’t completely join forces with you. You were a small time witch as far as he was concerned being a demigod and all. But you and Wanda joining forces could be devastating. That would certainly rankle the magical and mutant communities alike. Fury couldn’t have that. That’s why he put you under the watchful eyes of the Avengers. They are just enough to keep you from going rogue. But just though.

[starrosefics-archive]

Demon Custom

Notes: I love the pining Red Son stuff that people like @cassidyisnowdrawing and @thatonestarchild (they’re not the only ones but this is off the top of my head) create but I had a random idea of Red finally getting sick of pining and deciding to just do something this morning and wrote this. Hope you enjoy!

CW: Blood

-_-

It felt like a normal day.

MK and Pigsy did the usual morning kitchen set up, MK took orders while Pigsy cooked, and then he went to deliver the noodle orders. Nobody even batted an eye when DBK and Iron Fan unleashed their latest scheme and MK stopped them. The only odd part was that Red Son wasn’t there.

But MK brushed it off. Red Son had a history of doing his own schemes. Maybe to the patriarch and matriarch of the family, this was a date.

Now he was running for his life.

Well, not literally.

Sun Wukong was teaching him how to hide his magical signature from enemies. “It’s really strong,” his mentor said when the exercise started. “It’s...I’m not even sure how to describe it. But the point is that you need to learn how to hide it and, if you’re hiding or trying a sneak attack, make your enemies unable to see it.” After the explanation, MK had tried it. And then Wukong had sent him running in a game of hide and seek.

MK slowed, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, slowing his frantic heartbeat down. He came to a stop. He was pretty deep in the jungle, in an area he was pretty sure he hadn’t explored fully. He started walking again until he entered a clearing. He plopped himself down on a rock, humming at the warm feel of the sun on his face. This would do for a hiding spot until Wukong came too close.

It was nice. Peaceful.

Until a familiar “Hello Noodle Boy.” broke through his thoughts.

MK frowned, not bothering to open his eyes. “Go away, Red Son,” he said. “I’m busy and your parents already unleashed their scheme for today.” There was a moment of silence and he had almost convinced himself that the fire demon had left when he spoke again.

“I’m sorry, but you’ve made a mistake. I’m not here for any scheme!” It sounded like Red had gotten a lot closer. MK opened his eyes to yelp. He was right behind him, looking like they were two friends having a pleasant conversation. He tensed, fully prepared to pull out the staff, except the demon hadn’t made a move to attack. That was further complicated by Red slinging an arm over his shoulder. “I’m just here to give you some friendly advice!”

“Uh….huh. Does it include ‘give me the staff so I can give it to my father’?”

“No.” Red looked even more amused at the question. “I mean, yes, that would be helpful, but I swear! All I want is to give you some advice.”

MK relaxed a little. “Okay…?” This was turning into one of the weirdest experiences of his life.

There was a pleased hum and Red’s hand moved from his shoulder and down his arm. “Now, as I am very sure, people have told you that you’re attractive.” MK felt warmth flood his face because no. People hadn’t told him that before. He settled on shaking his head. “No? Shocker.” Fingers stroked his wrist. “Here’s my advice. Don’t leave yourself all defenseless like this.”

“I’m not-”

Cold metal, around his wrist, and Red Son had wrapped an arm around his waist, grasping his other wrist firmly. MK raised a brow. “Well, sure, maybe not right now. But here’s the thing. There are plenty of creatures in the world that like pretty little things like yourself. And they would take you without a moment’s notice. Them’s the breaks.”

He shifted, trying to loosen Red’s grip. It didn’t work. “Thanks for the warning,” MK said slowly, releasing the hold he had built over his magical signature. Alarm bells were ringing in his skull. “But- what are you doing?”

There was a chuckle and then a kiss was pressed to his neck. Against his skin, Red whispered one thing.

“Demons are included.”

MK screamed but it was too late. Red Son had a tight grip on him and they were disappearing into flame and smoke. He barely had a moment to see Wukong run into the clearing, eyes wide. 

Then the world had disappeared into red. He wasn’t sure what was up or down. All he was certain of was Red Son, his grip tight on him.

Out of all the things he’d expected from Red Son when he woke up this morning, this was way out of the left field.

Finally, the flames and smoke disappeared and MK fell on his butt. He scrambled back, both scared out of his mind and horribly confused. When he looked up, Red Son stood there, looking like a cat who had gotten the canary. He looked away, not liking that smug smirk, and instead tried to figure out where they were.

They were in a pine forest. In between the leaves, he could see craggy mountains, but no sign of the city. His heart sank as he realized that nothing looked familiar. “Wha- Hey!” Red had scooped him up into a bridal carry and started walking. “You take me back right now!” MK yelled, squirming furiously.

There was a chuckle. “Nope. No way, Noodle Boy.”

MK gave up after a minute with a groan. “Why are you even doing this…”

“Because I like you!” The worst part of this was that Red was downright cheerful about it. “Was that not clear? I thought I made that clear.”

“That doesn’t have to involve kidnapping and dragging me to...wherever!”

Except the older was happy to explain why that wasn’t true. “I mean, it’s not an exact law, but it’s pretty common! And according to actual demon law, blah blah blah, some custom and shit like that...you’re mine.” MK felt the blood drain out of his face. Then anger rose up.

“No, I’m…” When MK had started working for Pigsy, the cook had taught him self defense. It was important, in his words, to defend yourself in a hairy situation. That was what he did right now- sending a balled-up fist right into Red’s face. “NOT!” There was a crack of bone and he was dropped as Red gripped his face. MK didn’t waste any time. With Red’s howl of pain at his heels, the delivery boy took off running.

MK wasn’t sure what direction he was running in. All he knew was that he was running away from Red, which was the best choice of action. He moved to pull out the staff and try to see where he was when something slammed him into a tree. MK yelped at the sight.

Red was furious, hair aflame and eyes literal balls of flames. Dark blood was running from his broken nose. MK felt a burst of pride before a growl escaped the enraged demon. Without a word, the young man was hauled off his feet and over the demon’s shoulder like a sack. Red then started marching in the direction they had been heading in.

“Let me go!” he yelled, unable to do anything else from his position. Much to his horror, tears were starting to roll down his cheeks. “Let me go home!”

Red made some type of gesture, not bothering to pause in his enraged march. MK continued to struggle, but he had started to feel exhausted. It became harder and harder until with one last exhale of “...go…” MK was out like a light.

The redhead demon stopped when the delivery boy was asleep. Despite the anger at his broken nose, Red couldn’t help the fond smile that form at his love’s peaceful face.

He continued his trek.

[babypinkboobear]

Stars Who Listen

Chapter 4: They Listen to Friendships

The food in Bright Moon was so much better than the ration bars Catra ate when she was in the Horde. They had these things called “Chocolate covered Croissants” which were quite possibly the best thing Catra had ever tasted. For some reason she was only allowed to eat them in the morning though, Adora said she didn't get why either. Catra mostly just liked food that didnt come out of a package though. Which meant anytime there was food in front of her, Catra ate, as much as she could. Adora too. It's like they were scared the food would disappear.

“Guys, slow down! The food is not going to disappear if you take more than five minutes to clear your plate,” Glimmer said, clearly exasperated that her friends hadn't broken this habit yet. 

“Glimmers right,” Bow said, laughing, “It's not going anywhere”. They both knew that neither Catra or Adora had any plans to break this habit, ever. Adora had eaten like this when she first came to Bright Moon, so they assumed it was some kind of leftover Horde training. 

Catra glanced up, mismatched eyes flickering between Glimmer and Bow as she finished chewing what was in her mouth. “You don't know that, Arrow Bow. It could disappear at any moment or Sparkles could poof out of the room and cover it in glitter and ruin it,” She laughed as she said this though. Adora had missed Catra’s laugh.

 Of course Catra knew this was bullshit. Her and Adora both remembered the days when they wouldn’t quite eat fast enough and the older kids would steal their rations. They went hungry a lot when they were younger. Adora always used to share her rations with Catra if hers got stolen. Adoras rations only got stolen a few times, and the kids who stole hers always ended up in the medbay for a few days. They had been attacked by some animal with sharp claws. 

Catra had no clue what may have done it. It definitely wasn't her though. Nope, definitely not... Okay so maybe it was her, but she’d never do that now. Of course she wouldn't, she was a better person now, a kind, forgiving person. Didn't mean she regretted it though. They had stolen from her best friend. 

“ Ha I finished first, I win Catra!” Adora said, standing up, “and on that note, I have to head out to help Adare, Glimmer mind teleporting me there? We can go out into the hall so we don't ruin Catra’s food with your glitter” she said, before leaning down to kiss Catra goodbye.

“I love you, Catra. I should be home around dinner.” 

“I love you too, be careful”

“Always am”

“Promise?” Catra whispered.

“I promise” and Adora walked out into the hall, Glimmer on her heels.

Catra returned to her food. She didn't like being away from Adora, especially so soon after such an uncomfortable conversation. Hopefully, she got to stay with Glimmer and Bow. or maybe she would go hide in her and Adoras room with Melog. 

Out in the hallway, Adora was telling Glimmer about her and Catras conversation. It's quick and to the point. Adora asks Glimmer for one favor. 

“Don't leave Catra alone. She needs you and Bow to be there for her.”

~

Catra finished eating before Glimmer came back. She didn’t know if she should stay or leave, but when she stood up Melog basically slammed her back into her chair. She figured she should stay. Bow glanced up when that happened, laughing.

“Are you okay?” he asked, still fucking giggling.

“I'm fine Arrow Boy,” Catra replied, pseudo-irritation in her voice. She broke soon after, giggling along with him. “I guess Melog wants to hang out with you and Glimmer.” 

“Yeah I’m sure it's Melog who wants to hang out with us, ms. I-think-they-react-to-my- emotions.” Bow said, taking another bite of his food. He glanced at the door, clearly wondering what was taking Glimmer so long. He glanced back at Catra, “How much you wanna bet she got lost?” 

Glimmer poofed into the room. “Sorry guys, I got lost!”

Bow winked at Catra, and she had to cover her mouth to hide the giggles. Apparently it did jack shit all because Glimmer immediately said, “hey what's so funny” but she was clearly not in the slightest upset at Catra laughing. Her and Bow shared Adoras love of Catras laugh, it was nice to see her laughing so freely.

“Whatever, Bow do you mind coming with me to my room for a few minutes. Catra why don't you go change, we were thinking of going swimming. Sound good? We’ll grab you on our way back down.” Then she grabbed Bows arm and poofed out. A very common occurrence with Glimmer.

“Don't spend too long making out!” Catra said to the empty room, standing up and beginning the too long trek back to her room. Oddly she didn't mind swimming. Its water sprays she hates, and deep deep water. She stuck to the shallower end of pools, but she did enjoy them. Catra had grown used to Glimmer's bossy-ness, she didn't mean to be rude, she's just really hyper and gets excited easily. She felt lighter walking to her room, she was honestly happy that Adora had confronted her. It felt nice not to lie. Like a massive weight had been lifted off her chest. She just hoped there weren't many other princesses at the pool. She wanted some alone time with Glimmer and Bow. She wasn't sure when she had gone from merely tolerating their presence to actually enjoying spending time with them, but she was very glad she had. They were some of the best friends a girl could ask for. They had seen her at her worst and still came back, and she didn't feel like she owed them as much. Like with the other princesses she had to pretend to be happy-go-lucky like the rest of the rainbow squad, but Glimmer and Bow knew she was a bitch and still stuck around. It was nice.

Melog nudged her, and she blinked herself back into the real world. She had been doing that a lot, getting lost in her thoughts. She didn't remember the walk to her room, but here she was, in front of those absurdly ornate doors. She walked in, grabbing a bathing suit that was basically a sports bra and spandex bottoms, but it was white and gold. Adoras colors. She had been wearing Adoras colors a lot lately. It was like being surrounded by the woman she loved all the time, she loved it. She also grabbed a pool cover, a lacy thing that served no purpose, but Glimmer said she just had to have one. It was white and gold and it was Adoras. Hers was dirty actually because she had been swimming pretty often, which was funny considering before coming here the only time she would swim was during those awful training scenarios. They forced the horde kids to almost drown for hours at a time. Those were Catras least favorite training ‘simulations’. They were not simulations, they were very real. She had watched kids have to be given CPR and taken to the medbay on multiple occasions, so no not simulations. 

A massive poof of glitter brought Catra out of her thoughts. She had done it again, disappeared into her head. She had no clue how long she had been staring out the window.

“Are you ready to go swim! I'm so excited!” Glimmer was bouncing off the walls as usual. She had relaxed a ton since the war ended. If she wasn't actively doing her ‘Queenly Duties’ she let herself have fun. Catra was happy to see her happy (so was Bow of course, but he's her boyfriend so it's expected). And Catra actually was excited to swim.

Glimmer's suit was a pink and purple bikini with hearts all over it. Clearly a nod to Bows classic crop top. Bow was in swim trunks and when the sun hit them just right they glittered pink and purple, again with the whole wearing the significant others' clothing/colors. Catra was learning that it was a tradition in Etheria, one she hadn't been exposed to in the horde but one she loved nonetheless.

Glimmer moved to teleport Catra and Bow to the pool, but as she was about to grab Catras wrist she stopped, one hand hovering over Catra’s wrist, her other holding Bow's hand. “Actually let's walk” She said, and Catras heart filled with happiness. This is why these were her best friends.

The walk to the pool was slow and peaceful. She felt light as air, like she could float away into the stars and die peacefully. She loved it here, knowing her girlfriend loved her and was safe, knowing she had friends who cared for her even after everything. They chatted about everything and nothing all at once. And Catra was happy.

~

“So I looked at the guard and said how did the picture end up in jail?” Bow said, clearly containing his laughter, “It was framed!” 

Glimmer visibly cringed, glancing at Catra with a look that screamed this is the man I have chosen to be with. Catra giggled, jokes weren't really a thing in the Horde, unless it was at the expense of someone else. She actually really liked Bows jokes, she always laughed at them, and at glimmers face when he told them.

“What? It's funny,” Bow said, a tad bit insulted. He really thought Glimmer would laugh at that one. 

“Nothing babe. It was totally funny. Catra laughed!” Glimmer said, laughing at Bows offended face. He really was the cutest.

“Yeah but i wanted to make you laugh,” Bow said, pouting. Glimmer kissed him in sympathy.

“Gross guys, seriously do you really need to do that right now?” Catra groaned, splashing water at the two. She missed Adora and they didn't need to rub in the fact that her girlfriend was off being She-ra and not here holding Catra. She quickly realized that splashing those two was not a good idea, because Glimmer and Bow decided to splash her back. “Hey, two on one isnt fair!”

“You started it,” Glimmer said.

“What are you, 12” Catra said, “You started it, blah blah blah, you run Etheria with that childish attitude?” Catra knew she was being snarky, but they had splashed her, which she fucking hated. 

“Break it up ladies,” Bow said, nudging Catra, “you did start it though”. 

Catra was about to absolutely destroy her best friends in a splash battle as revenge when Perfuma and Scorpia walked in. Catra sank until only her nose and eyes were above water. She loved scorpia but things had been so awkward between them ever since their falling out in the horde. She’d just make herself as small and unnoticeable as possible, so she wouldn't have to deal with it. If they just stayed on the other side of the pool-

“Hello Glimmer, Bow, Catra,” Perfuma said, with her stupid voice that managed to sound like flowers speaking, how can something sound like flowers speaking that doesnt even make sense. “How are you all on this fine afternoon?” She asked.

Catra didn't understand why she sounded so formal all the time. It made her feel… weird. Nobody in the horde spoke that way.

“ We’re good! How are you?” Glimmer said, sounding way too happy to have someone join their little group. Catra didn't want her friends to be stolen away by Princesses who didn't even like her.

“ I am doing well,” Perfuma said. 

Scorpia sat down on the edge of the pool, Perfuma between her legs, back leaning on the side of the pool. Catra stayed silent as their conversation carried on. She heard Scorpia say hi to the group. Sounding far happier than she ever did with Catra, which is no surprise. Hopefully they just didn't interact with her. She could just stay quiet till they left, and not have to talk-

“Catra! How have you been?” It was Scorpia, of course it was Scorpia. The stars must hate her today. Adora’s not here and now she has to talk to all these princesses and deal with Scorpia, who she loves and hurt so much in the past. And her chest is tightening, fuck, not here please not here. She can't breathe, She needs to get it together, she can't do this in front of them. Her eyes are watering, she's crying, she can't breathe. Fuck. 

“Catra are you okay?”

“What happened?”

She didn't know who was saying what.

“Is she okay?”

“Catra, what's going on”

“She is having a panic attack.” 

That was Perfuma. Her voice was distinct. Someone was grabbing her hands. Pulling her into their chest. Another was stroking her hair. 

“Catra, sweetheart, I need you to focus on me okay? We are going to breathe in for 5 seconds, hold our breath for 5 seconds, and breathe out for 7 seconds okay. We are going to do it together. I will count for you alright?” It was Perfuma talking again. She was the one stroking her hair. So that means either Glimmer or Scorpia was hugging her. Fuck.

“Breath in for me okay? 1,2,3,4,5 and hold. 1,2,3,4,5. Now exhale, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. Again”

She didn't know how long this continued for. Eventually her tears dried and she could breathe again, she could speak again. And then the apologies came. One right after the other. They were barely understandable, mumbled into the chest of whoever was hugging her. And then she tried to pull away, to run, like she always did, because she's a coward and everyone would be better off without her. She’d leave and they could go back to their happy conversations and, and, and, fuck! Someone was behind her. 

She glanced up and around, trying to make sense of where everyone was. Trying to find an escape route. Glimmer was hugging her, Scorpia on her left, Perfuma on her right, that left Bow behind her. She was boxed in. She couldn't get away. Fuck. 

“Im fine guys. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry,” Catra was trying to deflect. Everyone knew this. 

“Its okay if you aren't fine though Catra. You can talk to us. We love you and we hate to see you sad,” Glimmer said softly. Scorpia and perfuma nodded in agreement. 

Bow rubbed her back lightly, “She's right Catra, you can always talk to us. You aren’t a bother”. 

How the fuck did they know exactaly what she wanted to hear. But they must be lying. She hurt them so much.

“We have forgiven you Catra. Nobody is angry with you. We all think you are amazing” was this bitch a mindreader. How the fuck did Perfuma know what Catra was thinking. She couldn't do this. She needed to get away.  She was pushing past them. Fuck, she should stay. Listen, but she can't, they must hate her. They have too, because if they don't hate her then.. She must be the only one who hates herself. And she couldn't deal with that. So she was going to leave before she started to believe their lies.

She managed to get past Glimmer, hopping out of the pool and grabbing her towel. “I think I’m going to head to my room guys. I'll see you at dinner”. And she was walking out. 

Perfuma is the one who made chase, she grabbed Catras wrist and pulled her to a stop. “Catra, if you would like to talk sometime, about what you are going through or why you were upset, I am always here”.

“I appreciate that Perfuma, but I’m fine. Really. I think I’m probably just tired”. Catra tugged her wrist out of Perfuma’s grip and definitely did not run away. No she walked calmly, because she was just tired. 

Glimmer glanced at Bow, Scorpia, and Perfuma. Catra was too far away to hear the plan they made to make Catra accept their help and love. And also to make her talk to them.

(2700)

[bakatenshii]

All Might x Sara

I wanted to get this out for your birthday, but then I got distracted, so I wanted to get it out for his birthday, bUt then I didn’t finish ahksjklje I’m sorry it’s so late aaaah, but here it is!! For @saratour my love, my All Might fucker, happy late birthday, and happy late birthday to your husband too!

P.S. this is truly the softest you’ll get out of me. 

Toshi’s not got a hero complex, despite being branded the Hallmark of Heroes since fuck knows when—

probably since he first donned that ridiculously cartoonish hero costume ripped straight out of a Marvel/DC comic.

He doesn’t even like going out in Big Might form, ‘it’s embarrassing’, ‘too flashy’, or whatever

Fans hoping to crash into All Might doing normal things out and about may as well be playing Where’s Waldo, if Waldo’s not got his iconic distinct glasses or hat or stupid stripey top. (or Where’s Wally, for your weirdo Brits and fake Aussies)

So, essentially— impossible.

That’s how he gets around so easily and never get caught by paparazzi; head to the supermarket in SmallMight form, parading ‘round town without the fear or being recognized

Here: because I can’t manage to fit this in the hcs somehow naturally, the date is: June 8th

(and if you’re an All Might stan u should know, his birthday’s June 10th)

and Number 1 Hero All Might’s birthday may as well been a national holiday, honestly

There’s fucking posters plastered around town, All Might cosplayers, even All Might dildo lollipops, they really are milking this man dry of any possible profits

Anyways, cut scene to our protagonist today, Sara, who’s at the grocer’s looking for a cake to buy herself for her birthday

Only feeling half-sorry because— another friend’s just gotten engaged and here she is buying her own cake for her own birthday, pity party galore

Rude bitch sent her a wedding invite the day of her birthday even though she knew Sara was single. Even told her to bring a ‘Wedding Date’, it really do be your own ones

Will it be another cliché, you ask? Why yes, of course! 

Guess who Sara crashes into at the cake section, asking for the same cake she’d just chosen?

If you guessed All Might, you’re wrong! It’s— 

drumroll please...

Small Might! Hah, got you there El Oh El

Of course it’s our main man Toshi, in all his deflated glory, doing his daily shop at a market he doesn’t frequent on the other side of town.

Why the other side of town? Because I say so, otherwise the plot wouldn’t make sense okay, bear with it.

The baker’s just handing Sara the wrapped up lemon buttercream cake, and thank fuck she didn’t have it in her hands yet because when a familiar voice next to her asks:

“Have you got any of the lemon buttercream left?”

She just about gave herself whiplash and an unpayable debt to the chiropractor by the sheer force and velocity at which she whipped around to look at the man—

the myth, the legend—

All Might, except he’s.. small? Small Might, if you will, hence the nickname I’ve been using. 

(I think I’m so quirky and funny, everyone else say: Shut Up Angel!)

Obviously that was the last cake, because we love cliché tropes here in my crack-canons.

Sara? Starstruck.

Small Might? Disappointed, a lil. 

Moreso concerned about the speed at which the woman next to him was able to turn her neck, though.

Yes, yes, a lot of ‘All Might?’ with starry eyes, and shocked response of ‘y-you recognize me?’ and ‘of course I do, I’d be able to recognize that voice anywhere!’ blah blah cut scene timeskip to:

They’re at dinner, at her’s, because fuck a slow burn, she had been feeling brave because it’s her birthday and honestly what’s there to lose by asking Number 1 Hero All Might to accompany her for her birthday?

Crashing into him, meeting him in his form no one else knew, almost like a shared secret between them, it must’ve been destiny?

(It’s more so the author— namely, me— binding their fate together, so everyone say: Thank you Angel!)

By the grace of gods (again, see: me) Toshi agrees, makes a joke about how it’s his birthday soon too and he didn’t have anyone to spend it with either, so why not spend it together? swoon

It’s all a lil sad and ironic, big famous hero All Might not having anyone to celebrate his birthday with, despite everyone else celebrating it for him

It tugs at Sara’s heartstrings, it really does, so she makes them a wholesome feast, lights a candle for each of them on the cake, and have a giddy old time listening to his stories about his students

She doesn’t ask about his hero career, it’s too sensitive, too soon, and if the nervous tick in his hand gestures gives anything away, he’s a lil lot insecure about his weak frail form.

And he appreciates it, instead having a fucking blast going on and on about how worried he is about his overzealous students getting injured because they’re too busy trying to save the world, 

or whatever cat got caught on a treebranch, and whatnot.

This is all very soft and sweet, and I really am gooey writing this, but that’s just how both of them are, you know?

Sara, who’s painfully kind and sweet, sometimes a lil stubborn, and Toshi, who’s just honestly the most wholesome man on this planet,

How did you expect me to write anything stoopid & ridiculous for this couple, honestly?

So they have dinner together, do some grocery shopping together, he helps her move some furniture around (don’t ask why), she helps massage his sore aging muscles (PG folks, PG)

And bob’s your uncle, and to everyone’s relief they start dating.

They’re entire full grown adults, you know, so they’re in it for the long run. None of this petty arguments, stupid make-up and break-ups, just pure soft romance.

The Notebook would be impressed.

Nicholas Sparks is on a stretcher. 

(Did I mention they celebrated his birthday together two days after hers? 

And she bought him a stupid gift that both of them laughed for hours about that I won’t say because I haven’t come up with what it was? 

And that they shared a chocolate cake that she made that was even better than the lemon buttercream from the store— 

‘why did you go out and buy it when yours tastes so much better?’ , ‘because it was my birthday and I wanted to treat myself, okay’

Because yeah, they did that. It was so tooth-rottingly cute, I have a cavity and also I’m really bad at fluff so just *shoves* TAKE IT.)

And so, here they are, being the Hallmark of a happy couple, and we all gag at how fucking adorable they are while we sit in our sweat-stained joggers eating ramen with our 3 cats.

But wait! There’s more!

Guess who Sara shows up with, a year later, to her stupid friend’s wedding (who was knocked up! Hah!) looking positively glowing next to her date?

Symbol of Peace, former Number 1 Hero, All Might

or to her, lovingly, ‘Toshi’

Suck on that, nameless-friend from high school who’s getting married because she got knocked up and wanted to rub her happiness in lonely singles faces.

(Sorry that may or may not come from personal aggression, ignore that)

tags: @enjifuckersupreme , @mindninjax , @sanguinekeigo , @yukiimanic 

[brian-mayonnaise]

Sunday Morning Scrabble

Pairing: Brian May x reader

Warnings: Mild swearing, FLuFF

Word Count: 2358

Summary: Reader and Brian have been friends since childhood, gradually falling in love with each other without the other knowing. Reader accidently confesses her attraction to the curly-headed guitarist, only to find out the feeling’s mutal. This takes place in the late 70′s.

A/N: Whatt’s uuuuuuppppppp. This is the first fic I’m ever posting so feel free to leave any constructive criticism! Hoping to better myself as a writer:) Also, requests are open so do what you want in there. xoxox ~Leah

      Brian and you sat outside at one of the glass tables in the courtyard. Coffees in hand, and scrabble pieces scattered about the surface. You had never been very good at scrabble. Even though you had what some would call a “strong vocabulary”, you could never seem to find any words that had more than three or four letters. Brian on the other hand made you feel absolutely dimwitted as he laid down his ‘Latin scientist astrophysicist’ words. The little wiseacre never gave you a chance. 

      You watched as he studied his letters carefully, arranging and rearranging them. A sigh of annoyance escaped from your mouth as Brian started picking up almost all of his letters, laying them across the board.

      “Ablation” He said as he placed down the last tile. You looked at him, eyebrow cocked.

      “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

      “What?” He snickered. That stupid grin on his face. “That’s not even a fucking word!” He was holding back his laughter now. “Yes it is!” You rolled your eyes, visibly annoyed. “Then what does it mean?”

      “It’s the process where the atmosph-“ you cut him off “ah blah blah blah I don’t wanna hear it. It’s unfair.” You crossed your arms with a pout on your lips, trying to keep a straight face. Brian was visibly amused, a bright smile on his face flashing his perfect teeth. You suddenly felt the butterflies in your stomach.

      You and Bri had been friends for ages. Growing up together, you started developing feelings for him around the time you both started uni. At first, it was the small things that you started to notice. The way his eyes lit up when he laughed, or the little faces he made out of concentration when he was focused on something, such as a history essay, or a new complicated guitar lick. The fall for him was gradual and slow, but you could pin point the exact moment in time when you finally fully tripped, face first, into loving him with all your heart.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

      It was your first time ever seeing Smile play live. Brian had introduced you to Roger and Tim some time before, but with the weight of doing well in uni crushing down on you, you were never able to make time to go to one of their performances. By the grace of God, you somehow managed to get a break from your professors to be able to come out and support them.

      You walked into the crowded pub, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes hitting you like a train. You were somewhat nervous. You had never been one for this kind of setting, much preferring quiet hangout spots where you can sip your tea and peacefully people watch while you obvserve the busy day to day lives of the Londoners. But this, this was the exact opposite. With seemingly no such thing as personal space, it felt as if everyone was in your business as you carefully nudged people out of the way in order to get to the bar. You had decided to order a cocktail of sorts, just to calm you nerves.

      You stood by the bar as you watched the sweaty and drunken bodies move around the small venue. But sooner or later the lights started to dim, and everyone was cheering. You quickly set down your drink and made your way towards the front. Not right up near the stage, but close enough to see their faces.

      The spotlights came on, shining the bright lights onto them as they entered. Rog came out first, shirtless and wearing some tight pants that left nothing to the imagination. As he slipped behind his drums, you could hear all the girls in the pub scream his name and whistle. You mentally scoffed and rolled your eyes, though some part of you found it amusing.

      Next was Tim, only wearing a t-shirt and bell bottoms. His bass was already on a stand by the microphone, allowing him to smoothly pick it up and plug it in.

      Finally, Brian’s lanky figure walked onto the stage, his Red Special in hand. Brian never let any of the groupies handle his baby, and you couldn’t blame him. He was wearing dark blue bell bottoms, complimented by his red Rolling Stones shirt. He looked so incredibly calm. If he was at all nervous, you wouldn’t be able to tell. It was like he was born for this type of lifestyle, like he was in his element up on that stage.

      Brian struck the first chord, and the sound erupted throughout the pub. Your body felt weightless, you could feel every single sound wave move through your limbs. 

      Brian looked angelic. Yes, that word is overused, but there was no other adjective you could find to describe him in this moment. 

      When his first guitar solo came up, it sent shivers up and down your spine. You shook with them and closed your eyes while the twang of the bended high notes filled your ears. The feelings that coursed through your body made rubbing up against the sweaty college kids worth it.

      When you opened your eyes again, you caught a glimpse of Brian sweeping his tongue out across his bottom lip. Your body tensed with desire. You didn’t want to feel this way for your bestfriend, what you had with Bri was amazing. A friendship that had built up over years and years. Everything in your mind was telling you to push these thoughts back, but the way your heart pumped faster and louder at the sight of him made you question your conscience. 

      From that moment on, you knew everything was going to be different...

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

      “(y/n)….heellloooo…..earth to (y/n)”

      You zoned back into the moment with Brian snapping and waving his hands in front of your face. He was giving you a somewhat concerned but amused look. 

      “Sorry. Day dreaming I guess.” You smiled sheepishly. 

      He sat back in his chair a bit, picking up his mug. “Mm. What about?”

      “The first time I saw you guys perform live..Y’know, before Fred came along and you guys took off.” You concentrated on the ground, focusing on your shoe.

      You could tell he was staring at you through the corner of your eye, but you’d never say anything. “Why were you thinking about that love?” He took a long slurping sip of his coffee, which in turn made you roll your eyes. He knew you hated that. 

      “I don’t know really. It was the first ti-....” you stopped yourself suddenly, hoping he didn’t hear that last part. The last thing you needed was him questioning you.

      “The first time what?” Shit. Too late. 

      You stammered out words, trying to get a coherent sentence out. “The first time I realized you guys were gonna be big” you smiled unconvincingly, praying you had saved yourself.

      Brian knew you too well. Over the years, he’s picked up on your tells. Whenever you lied, you always scrunched up your nose, and you could never hold eye contact. He actually thought it was adorable. It was one of the little things that Brian had learned to fall for.  

      Now Brian had never expected to fall in love with you. It happened so suddenly for him, he didn’t even realize how he felt until your laugh started giving him butterflies. He remembers the night you had showed up at his doorstep, drunk out of your mind and shivering from the negative degree wind chill. 

      You and your ex-boyfriend had just broken up after you walked in on the wanker doing it in your bed with another girl. The anger he felt that night scared him. He was ready to end that scumbag’s life in seconds for the way that he hurt you.

      Time seemed to slow down while you were crying into his shoulder. He wanted to tell you how he felt. To tell you that he could give you everything that  tosser couldn’t. That he loved you so much he could barely stand seeing you in this state. 

      But you were wasted and sobbing. He concluded that it would be a shitty time for him to confess something like that, so he put it off...and put if off, until now he was unsure of how to say it.

      He looked at you with skeptical eyes. “...You’re a terrible liar, you do know that right?” 

      Your jaw dropped, feeling slightly offended’ “Am not! What makes you say that?!” You smacked him on his shoulder, earning a childish “oowww” from Brian as he rubbed that spot.

      He laughed outwardly. God he thought you were beautiful. He could find no faults. Your personality, your laugh, the bridge of your nose. Everything about you was simply gorgeous. He hated himself for how cheesy he sounded in his head, but he loved everything about you. 

      “I’m just saying, don’t try to lie to someone you grew up with. I know your tells, liar”

      “Oh please, I do not have tells” You scoffed

      He looked at you with one eyebrow raised, “mmmm I beg to differ love”

      “mmhm okay then what are they?”

      “Ha! Like I would ever tell you! Then you’d stop doing it and I wouldn’t be able to tell if you’re lying or not anymore.” He laughed at your scowl 

      You brushed him off “Oh whatever” he playfully nudged you with his shoulder.

      This time it was your turn to get caught staring. Brian continued to act like he didn’t feel your gaze, though you weren’t being stealthy with it.

      He turned and looked into your eyes, and you swore your heart dropped into your butt. You quickly found a spot on the table that you pretended to be interested in.

      “(y/n)…..” Brian said in a sing-song manner. you continued to keep your pupils downward, afraid of the blush on your cheeks giving you away. “You still owe me the truth” he moved his face closer to yours, placing his hand under your chin to fix your attention towards him. Your noses were inches away by now. “What’s on your mind, love?” It was barely a whisper. 

      This was it. You had to tell him. You were in too deep. 

      You took a deep breath. At least, you tried. Kind of hard to breathe with Bri this close. “Th-the. The-uhm.” You paused for a moment, closing your eyes. You refused to look at him while you confessed this. “The first time I knew I was in love with you..” It came out in a shakey voice. 

      When you finally opened your eyes, he had moved even closer. Your noses were practically touching, you could feel his hot breath on your lips. You were scared you had freaked him out. You were second-guessing everything, worried you just ruined the decades of friendship. “Bri…” This time it was a whisper “Please say something.” 

      He looked down, and then back up at you. Smiling, his mouth finally opened to speak.

      “What a coincidence.....because (y/n) (y/l/n), I love you more than you could ever imagine.” 

      With both of you letting out relived sighs, your lips finally crashed together. You wrapped your hands around the back of Brian’s neck, deepening the kiss. Quiet moans escaped from your mouth, leaving Bri hungrier. He’d do everything he could to keep those little noises coming. 

      If you guys didn’t need air, you swore you would’ve stayed there in that same spot, lips locked, for the rest of your lives. In the best way possible, sparks flew as both of your tongues explored the depths of each other’s mouths. 

      When you both finally, albeit reluctantly, separated to breathe, your lips were swollen red, and the tip of your nose had a pink tint to it. 

      You both were frozen there for bit in each other’s grasps. Foreheads together, and breathing in the other person’s breath. 

      “I can’t believe we haven’t done this sooner.” Brian mumbled with an airy laugh. 

      You smiled looking into his eyes, “Brian Harold May I’ve fallen so incredibly fucking hard for you, rockstar” 

      “Hmm, I do believe we should start playing scrabble a bit more often, huh love?”

      You snickered and nodded at his proposal.

      And with that, Brian brought your lips together again.  

The End

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

      6th Months Later

      Roger looked at his best mate, feeling excited for him but also a bit defiant. “Are you sure you kids are ready for this? I mean, your relationship is practically brand new Bri.” 

      Brian just smiled at the blonde drummer, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”

      Brian looked down through the glass, the shimmer almost blinding him. The employee made his way back over to the two boys. “Any thoughts sir?” 

      Brian pointed at the one he picked out through the glass. “I think this one will do quite nicely sir, thank you for your help.” The man smiled and got his keys to open the case before handing it to him. “Excellent choice, she’ll love it”

      The guitarist checked out, paying in full. He and Rog made their way out of the shop. “Do you like it mate?” Brian asked, looking at the small black box out of curiosity. Roger looked at his friend. He noticed the glow of excitement radiating off of the man. “I think it’s perfect Bri.” he gave the bloke a firm pat on the back.

      Brian smirked. “Hey, thanks again for coming with me to do this.”

      “Of course! You think I’d let you go ring shopping alone?! Brian, You can barely pull up your own pants.” 

      “I beg your pardon! I was perfectly capable of doing this by myself, thank you very much!” Brian scoffed, giving Rog a look.

      “Aha! Alright captain, whatever you say. I think your curls might be constricting the blood flow to your giant brain there” Rog clapped back with an immense amount of sass. 

      Brian’s face went pink with annoyance “Well you little-” 

      Brian didn’t get to finish his sentence as the blondie took off running towards the station, curly running after him..

The Actual End

[b-and-willie]

Let’s Try This Again( with the completed post this time) Complications of Loathing What You Need

I know, I disappeared, and most likely will again. Serious interaction on blogs (re mine) seems to be severely lacking so there seems to be very little reason to plug on and share intimate posts publicly.

So why now? Well actually I write this post almost 2 years ago, and life has a funny way of putting us back in places we need to fix over and over again until we get it right. To be frank I highly doubt I could compose a post these days. I'm rusty in so many areas.  Covid life has put a hit on our dynamic yet it shouldn't because we have more time together- too bad our minds seem to have a constant drum in the background that seems to drown out much of our desires at the moment....

Anyway I read in a comment about a month ago something to the affect of " I read blogs sometimes and think of how sad people's lives are".  I am sure the person commenting didn't mean it as a damaging comment.  I want to point out before I continue trying to resurrect my morning's post in my mind again a few things.  I would hope that no one reads my posts and feels sad for me.  I will say that despite the struggles Barney and I have encounter since and even because of starting ttwd,  it has changed me in ways I will never ever be sorry for.  I will admit at times it seems to have caused strife between the two of us, but as I have said before, ttwd is more of a magnifier of issues that already exist more than it is a problem unto itself.  Ttwd has allowed me to unearth myself;my true, authentic self, and even in the future if for some reason we can no longer live this lifestyle that knowledge and feeling will never be taken away.

Yes it has bettered our marriage but often not in ways I read about here and there.  Sure sex is more frequent and more creative.  But honestly that is a byproduct of me being less guarded and allowing intimacy into our lives.  Anyway, that isn't why I wrote this morning.  I wrote this morning because of a few things I was reflecting on in the past 24 hours.

The first being....

Loathing What You Need

Such an ominous title right?  Here's the thing, I do LOATHE what I need.  This isn't a post about questioning my need for submission ( though one might argue it could be one questioning my sanity).  I don't fault anyone out there that is currently questioning their need for submission, I have been there countless times, but thankfully that ship has sailed! One LESS complication in my life.

No I mean I loathe the things I have to do to cultivate and maintain my submissive heartset.  Do I enjoy being spanked? HELL NO!  I mean not even a reset-though slower to start therefore easier to take in the long run it isn't a fun adventure.  Barney has and will employ BDSM tactics(?) to achieve a certain level of resetting as well.  And while I endure and my body often betrays me to indicate I enjoy it, it isn't something I crave. ( Though I am not a huge fan of 'vanilla' sex...I am more referring to the slight torture aspect lol). What I do crave is the power exchange that is created in both of these scenarios.  Do I find it 'yummy' to be told to get on my knees, or kneel- nope.  Do I find it enjoyable to wearing a plug while vacuuming, kneeling on pebbles in a freezing corner, being told to get off the computer, eat this, don't eat that, wear this, phone me if you want to have a drink/buy something/leave the house ...blah, blah, blah....Can't say I do.  No doubt my face generally indicates that as well.  BUT what I do enjoy is the benefits of doing these things- um more than the relief that I might be punished if I don't.  The benefit of, for whatever crazy reason, keeping  me unguarded.  The benefit of being constantly in my husband's 'cross hairs'.  The intimacy that is created because I have submitted to his wants, especially because I don't WANT to do them.

This isn't to say that when life is grand in the Submissive World of Willie, that I can't enjoy some aspects of submissive acts.  Some things, chore lists etc, actually become more meaningful for me.  Some days that meaning might just be that I accomplished them despite myself! lol . It also doesn't mean that I don't anticipate the needs of my husband without prompting as I do enjoy that but to me that isn't submission.

Do I have thoughts during the day like, " Well I wish he'd just ....."  yes, yes I do.  Now how confusing is that? I loath doing it, but please tell me to do it.  (Of course it goes without saying the fact that he SAYS those 'things' need to be done is a large part of the process as well)  Those of you out there that can follow my crazy rant here would probably understand it for what it is.  For me it is the end goal feeling, not the things I need to do to get me there that is the reason for the submissive acts.  I understand that there are subs out there that LOVE and Crave the acts themselves, for what they are. And I am generally a people pleaser so there is that too. But I mean  they love it, and I say "Good on you!"  I think sometimes life would be so much better and easier for Barney if I did just gleefully spring into action EVERY TIME.  I don't.  As Barney said, " You are 100% submissive - 95% of the time". It is the 5% that he tends to see now.

(Here is the don't feel sorry or 'sad' for me portion of the post )

The last month has probably been one of, if not the most difficult months in my entire life.  I know it has been THE most difficult month in the last 21 years.  There are a number of factors which have contributed to this outstanding statement,but in truth the hows or whys really aren't important.  It will be a very long time for some factors to be removed, and IF other factors can be fixed they will take a long while with a lot of work as well.  I am generally not one who can sit by and wait for life to work itself out, or to watch on the sidelines- sadly some of these situations require just that.

The one thing I can actively work on is our relationship.  It has taken a direct hit, and in some ways there was no avoiding it as focus had to be put in other areas emotionally.  However in doing so it created a situation where my submissive self became barricaded deep inside.  The dial was switched to Personal Survivor Mode.  See the big issue there?  PERSONAL....not exactly a great word to use in conjunction with ttwd dynamic.  So locked was this dial on the Personal Survivor Mode station, things Barney used to see as indications that I wasn't where I needed to be became a bone of contention.  Resentment.  The dreaded word of any relationship! Why didn't I JUST DO IT??? Were his thoughts.  It is my need after all why don't I just do it?

I was talking to a dear OLD friend last night.  We  often discuss various things but last night was a different kind of conversation, probably due to sheer emotional exhaustion on both our parts. We started discussing our submission in a way perhaps we haven't in a while.  One thing she mentioned to me in reference to something else was, the fact of how fortunate we were to " have experienced the benefits and beauty of submission".  A light went off in my head this morning thinking of that (yeah I'm a bit slow these days).  That is what has been missing these past few months.  Right before the house of cards started crumbling down around us, we had had a pretty wonderful week.  Unfortunately the pressure one felt coupled with and because of  the fulfillment of the other, seemed to cause issues immediately after said week.  I felt deeply during that week.  I felt free and myself again, even though I did screw up, and question myself as to why.  I felt it.  I felt the benefits and beauty of it.  I was once again A submissive not merely BEING submissive (and that is okay if you identify as the latter- I don't mean to put a public hierarchy on it, I am only referring to my personal feelings of self).

For the last while,and again somewhat due to life circumstances, I haven't felt fulfilled in or with my submission.   This morning I was punished, sigh AGAIN, which you know is part of the deal right? It was physically a challenging punishment to take as I had been severely punished yesterday and that had yet to leave me.  The severity wasn't due to  my act that got me punished but because of my 'act' WHILE being punished.  If you are new here or you know forgot- I tend to be a bit of a hard head which later in the day after my bravado wears off and my butt thaws is NEVER a good thing.  After my punishment I was told to reflect on how I was currently feeling and tell Barney when he asked.

Okay ladies and gents this is generally NOT a good thing for us! LOL.  At least not of late.  Barney should really know by now that he shouldn't ask questions he doesn't really want to hear the answer too! My response was I felt resentful.  I was punished and I deserved to be based on our dynamic.  I am not denying that.  I felt resentful because I feel like maybe he is putting me in a position to force his hand- literally.  He is trying to get us back on track.  He is being consistent with punishments, but for me, the punishment is a result of something else not working, or being acknowledged.  Please don't take this for me BLAMING Barney for my actions....though I suppose it does sound like that doesn't it? These are actually  his words from the not so distant past.  These punishments are isolated incidents.  Without his active dominance after, there is a void.

I never tested Barney when we started ttwd.  I know I have mentioned that countless times.  I am no saint.  I just didn't do it because he said if he ever thought I was testing him, he would end our dynamic.  I guess that stuck with me.  Have I 'poked the bear'?  Yup.  And as I have also said, I didn't test him because I was afraid that he would 'fail' and then where would I be?  In addition to that, for years I loved just doing what was required of me.  That along with self analysis was enough to help me discover who I was deep down.  But as life changes, and discoveries are made complications arise.  We are all organic in nature as are our relationships.  Those who choose not to continually adapt may eventually fail.  ( If you are married to a pain in the butt like me )

In the past, though not often with a grand amount of consistency, red flags would go up if I was being punished.  Honestly I am an emotional creature (shut it) and punishments often are not a deterrent for me.  What I mean to say is 'in the moment' I tend to forget that my butt is going to fry, or I will be unplugged (electronically) because of my words or actions.  Naturally over time Barney began to see punishments as being a failure on his part because to him I am not fearful of them (ask me right before on day two and see how NOT fearful I am of them).  I now fear the red flags are not being seen, just the red ass.  The building on dominance from the ultimate dominant situation, has been missing. (Save today, but I had already started to write, so just go with me on this one).

As I stated earlier, when situations arise and we find ourselves where we currently are, I tend to see things as isolated events.  One event not really connecting to another.  Barney tends to fixate on one 'type' of dominance during these times.  For example punishments and reactions. However, when things are running as smoothly as they can here

(pretty much as smoothly as this)

Barney can multitask in his domination.  Though punishments are rare in that 'euphoric' state...lol

Here's the thing....there are so many conflicting messages being transmitted out by me...even 5 years in.  

I need this, but I hate aspects of  it

I want you to make me, but I don't want to do it...but I will because I want to.

Make it your own, but don't forget how it affects me

Consistency with punishment is required for effective results- but it isn't all about reacting and punishments

Cultivate but ....

And when we are in a good place, these messages don't seem to be so loud, but when we go off course, everything seems to cause hurt, frustration, and the world's worst secondary emotion- anger!

All of these things of course can be talked about.  The issue really becomes not only putting it into practice, but a practice that BOTH can see.

The issue with 'falling off of the wagon' is the interpretation of the past.  What if one is clinging to the successes while one is clinging to the failures?  What if the one clinging to the successes is also affected deeply by the failures, and is holding back moving forward because of it, yet indicates that the other SHOULD just push through?

YUP....clear as mud.

We are fine (yes the dreaded word).  Barney is holding true to what he currently can.  To be honest it is me.  I am the issue.  I can go on and on as to the whys I believe I am the hold out but I'm not entirely sure that would be helpful.  After all it would only be my interpretation of events.  So the whys to me (for once in my life) aren't as important.  I have to just put one foot in front of the other and follow along- doing the best that I personally can.  But there is the issue, can/ want/ need....sigh what if some of it I loathe and after so long of not believing it mattered if I did or didn't-( you know "If a tree falls in a forest..." )how do I convince myself I should; that it will matter? At the very least to me once again?

[neuronary]

a soft place to land (working title) intro

hey so if anyone would particularly like to give this a read and offer some feedback i would very much appreciate it. i am (as per usual) very late to this fandom, but i’m hoping it’s not totally dead.

um so yeah basic premise is that alexandrie hamilton (genderbend) is fostered by the washingtons. they already have a foster son (lafayette). drama ensues. (alex is the only genderbent character bc i wanted to write about lesbians) (main ship is gonna be alex/eliza) (enjoy) 

Alex didn’t like how far upstate ‘upstate’ was turning out to be. She leaned her head against the car window, welcoming the cool touch of condensation slipping down the glass. Her caseworker continued with her usual spiel about emergency contacts and opportunities and blah, blah, blah.

Alex had heard it eight times in three years. She didn’t listen anymore.

“Are you even listening to me?”

No. “Yes, ma’am.”

Elaine gave her a Look. Alex got a lot of Looks. She didn’t like any of them.

“Well, we’re nearly there. You nervous?”

That was putting it mildly. “No, ma’am.”

“You know, it’s okay for you to be nervous, Alex.”

“I’m fine.”

Another long suffering sigh floated over from the other side of the car. Alex scowled. She hadn’t been lying, exactly. She certainly wouldn’t call the too-speedy heart rate and general overwhelming sense of dread growing in the pit of her stomach ‘nerves’. She turned her head slightly.

“Alex…” Her caseworker’s fingers drummed on the steering wheel. “Listen, this is a really big opportunity, okay? It’s a fresh start, completely. Just give it your best shot, okay? The Washingtons seem really excited to have you, and they’re influential people. This is your best shot. Don’t throw it away.”

“I won’t.” Alex didn’t want to waste an opportunity. She never wasted a home. She couldn’t count the times she’d put up with being treated like some kind of animal just to stay in the same place for an extra week.

“I know things have been tough, but I’m always here. You don’t have to wait for an emergency to call me.” Alex shifted noncommittally. “I’ll tell you what, why don’t we set up weekly phone calls? Not necessarily forever, but until you get properly settled. Sound good?” She sounded hopeful. 

“Sure.” It wasn’t that Alex didn’t believe that her caseworker meant well - although she knew most people didn’t - she was just busy. She handled four other kids, all as fucked up as Alex, and she didn’t have time for non-emergencies. Alex didn’t blame her. 

The car slowed to a stop. Alex waited until her caseworker got out before grabbing her bag from the backseat. It was a single, plain blue backpack, containing two notebooks, clothes to last a week or two, and a small metal box. Marie Kondo’s folding methods were sacred to the more practical of foster kids, purely for the dignity of not dragging a trash bag around whenever you got kicked out.

Alex opened the car door and looked up at her new accommodation.

“Motherfucker,” probably shouldn’t have been the first word out of her mouth, but she couldn’t help it.

The house was enormous, sprawled across the length of every house Alex had ever lived in put together. It was super old, clearly, and had actual double doors at the front. Not to mention about six hundred windows with fancy curtains inside.

“Did you forget to mention you were dropping me at Buckingham fucking Palace?”

To her credit, the caseworker looked apologetic. “I didn’t see any pictures. I thought it was just gonna be, like, a normal house for upstate, not a mansion. Sorry.”

Alex scowled at her and, for good measure, added: “I’m not knocking.”

Elaine rang the doorbell.

Alex heard thundering footsteps and the doors were flung open by a tall, wiry kid with curly hair. The wide grin dropped off his face as he looked Alex up and down. She scowled right back.

“You’re a girl.”

“Yeah. So?” Elaine laid a hand on Alex’s shoulder, keeping her from punching the surprise off the rich kid’s smarmy face. It quickly morphed back into excitement.

“Even better! Come on, we ‘ave been waiting for you in the sitting room!” Alex was disinclined to follow anyone who spoke in consecutive exclamation marks, but she wasn’t given much choice. The rich kid grabbed her arm and dragged her through the house. They stopped in a massive room with a fireplace - a real one, with an actual fire in it - and two enormous bookcases, filled with books. Alex’s jaw dropped as she held herself back from running straight over and dragging half the shelves down to read. She’d never seen that many books before in her life outside of libraries.

Something - or, rather, someone moved into her line of vision. Alex blinked up at the tallest man she’d ever seen in her life. Unlike the boy - the adoptive son, presumably - he was built broad, with wide shoulders and thick arms. He’d do serious damage if she made him mad.

“You must be Alex.” No way was she falling for any ‘kindly smile’ bullshit. Alex stared at her feet.

“Yes, sir.”

“They told me you were a boy.” Alex was careful not to react, focusing entirely on keeping her breathing steady.

“Ah, we did nothing of the sort. You made an assumption, which we’ve warned you about before.” Mrs. Washington smiled like her husband. Alex averted her gaze, glancing over at Elaine. She came to the rescue in the kind of way that almost made Alex regret ignoring her speech in the car.

“I’m sorry, we don’t actually have your name on file?”

Mrs. Washington turned to her son, looking angry. Alex winced slightly.

“Sorry, madame, I am Gilbert du Motier. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Gilbert had the good grace to look embarrassed.

“Really, Gilbert, forgetting your manners like that. I’m very sorry, dear. I’m Martha, and this is George.”

“Alex. Um, Hamilton. Ma’am.” She felt like an idiot, awkward and much more out of place than usual.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you both in person. I’m afraid there’s an awful lot of paperwork to get through.”

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 32/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774 

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

Leia was slow to respond to the incoming phone call. She had spent many restless nights as the day of the hearing drew closer, and tonight had been no exception. She had only recently been able to slip into a dark and troubled sleep.

She knew she had to be strong for her people, keep her head held high. She had no right to back out now. It was her job to keep morale high and to assure the others that it would all work out—though that also meant that the number of people she could confide in had dwindled. She had spent many nights consumed by her own thoughts and fears.

Her phone rang five times before going silent.

This was her personal device, no one—well, practically no one—had access to that number. It happened infrequently enough that it was enough to rouse her despite her tiredness.

The clock on the screen read 5 AM. She had barely managed two hours of sleep. But the fact that someone had called her at such an ungodly hour using this number meant that it was important. She took a moment to collect herself and rub the sleep out of her eyes before calling back.

“Skywalker.”

“Leia, it’s Kaydel, I’m sorry for calling you so early but there was an email sent to the organization’s public address and I think you really need to see it, now.”

“An email?” Leia repeated somewhat incredulously.

“Yes, I’ll stay on the line while you read it. I’m ready for any follow-up orders.” Kaydel responded shakily.

Leia frowned. If there was something wrong with the trial documents, they knew to call Amilyn and the legal team. If something had happened to Luke, he had this number himself. What the hell was it about an email of all things that had the girl scared to death?

Putting Kaydel on speaker phone, she opened up her inbox and scrolled through the most recent messages. The public account usually only received spam and donation-related emails. What on earth was going on?

from : ReyJakku@gmail.com

         To : info@earth-soldiers.org

         07/08/2018 : 4:46 AM

         Subject : BB8

         Hi Leia,

         Looks like you left me a wrong number, I’m sure it was an accident! I didn’t know how else to reach you so I hope you see this...

         It’s going well so far, Wyoming is magnificent.

         I ran into your son Ben, he was performing at a local concert. What a small world! He offered to take BB8 to his uncle by himself.

         I’m thinking it would be a great idea for BB8 to stay in the family. Would you have a problem with that? Let me know,

         Cheers!

         Rey

         0044 (0) 7881 235 562

Leia’s gasp turned into a coughing fit so violent that she had to put the phone down. Leaning over her nightstand, she groped for the water bottle that she kept there.

“Leia? Are you okay?” Though muffled, Kaydel’s voice sounded worried.

Leia took a long sip of water, trying to calm her breathing as she wiped away a few tears that had been brought on by her sudden reaction. The phone was back  in hand immediately.

“Thank you for the warning, Kay. No new orders. I’m going to handle this one myself. I’ve deleted the message, and not a word to anyone about this for now, am I clear?”

“Crystal.”

Once the conversation was over, Leia allowed her legs to give in. She slumped onto the bed, hands trembling.

She hadn’t seen it coming.

Posing as her son Ben Solo to get Rey to hand over the dog? It was, ironically, a perfect ruse.

The boy never ceased to amaze her. She underestimated him at every turn. Every time she took him for a fumbling idiot, he thoroughly managed to turn the tables on her. Well, he was her son after all. She supposed she should be proud.

Time was running out. She had to reach Rey before it was too late.

But there was no room for error here, the stakes were too high. She could ruin it all with the wrong words, with the wrong reaction.

Leia jotted down Rey’s number before deleting the email. She also made sure to delete it from her “trash” folder. Next, she went to the bathroom, taking longer than usual to braid and pin her long  grey hair. It gave her time to collect her thoughts again. She took the time to dress carefully, make herself a cup of coffee, and sit down at the kitchen table in front of the telephone.

Rey couldn’t sleep after the events of that morning. She decided instead to get dressed for the day and busy herself with taking down the tent and gathering the rest of her scattered possessions. She felt a pang of longing mixed with desire as she picked up the clothes that had been strewn on the ground. She couldn’t help but remember the way that Ben had made love to her, right on top of the Falcon. It wasn’t that long ago but it felt like a world away.

She replayed the scene of his betrayal over and over in her head as she folded her clothes and packed up the car. She fumed at the thought that he had still sought to manipulate her.

Rey wondered what to do next. Go sightseeing again? Somehow she didn’t feel up to it anymore. Drive straight to California? That would mean saying goodbye to her itinerary.

Curse Leia Skywalker for dragging her into a conflict that was none of her business...Now she had come within an inch of her life multiple times—she would absolutely love to nominate Syed Ren for a Nobel Peace Prize—and now her holiday plans were ruined.

Turning on her phone for the first time since last night (battery conservation 101), she saw the voicemail icon flashing with a new message notification.

Her heart constricted in her chest because she knew exactly who it would be. Her thumb slid over the icon to open the application anyway. Ben Solo. Should she erase it? Should she bother to listen to it at all, did he even deserve that?

The temptation to hit “delete” was undeniable, but her curiosity won out. Her heart hammered as she pressed “play”.

She could feel her features crumbling as she listened to his words. It took her a second to process the new information.

His attempt at an apology was dramatic self-flagellation as usual. Blah-blah-nail-me-to-a-cross-my-love and all that. She really didn’t have time for this nonsense, he shouldn’t be the one whining here.

But the part about running to the police because “two killers were on her trail” was enough to justify not deleting the message.

Ben fucking Solo had some explaining to do, considering that literally all of his Saturday night bar mates were some kind of new wave punk assassins.

She was in the middle of feeding BB8 when an epiphany occurred. Scrambling for her phone, she typed out a very important email. By the time she hit “send” it was 6 AM (or 5 AM in California, she supposed).

She was hardly surprised when she received a response within fifteen minutes. When her phone buzzed the caller ID was unknown, but she knew it was Leia Skywalker. Rey took a deep breath. She knew that by sending that email she had turned the tables on them. Now, it was her turn.

“Yes, hello?”

“Hello, Rey? It’s Leia Skywalker. I’m sorry for calling you so early in the day but I figured since you emailed me you must be awake.”

Rey feigned surprise.

“Oh, hello Leia! I didn’t even recognize your number...lovely weather in Denver I hope?”

“In Den—oh yes, the weather here is fine,” Leia responded, seemingly shaken by the unexpected question. “Rey, how is BB8 doing, is she okay?”

“BB8? Of course! She’s been such a great road trip companion, she’s so cute and we’ve gotten so used to each other.”

“Is she...with you?”

Rey blinked. When was Leia going to stop pretending?

“Yeah, for now. I’m dropping her off with Ben this afternoon, actually. He said he was going to San Francisco to visit his uncle anyway and I guess I couldn’t possibly refuse him,” she replied as innocently as she could.

On the other side, Leia sounded like she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Rey, no, I think this isn’t a good idea...I would rather have her stay with you.”

“Why.”

It came out harsher than anticipated. Rey found herself unable to smile any longer.

Leia was silent for a moment, sensing the change of tone. She must have known she was missing something because she sighed ruefully.

“Rey, tell me the truth, where is BB8?”

“No Leia, you’re the one who has to tell me the truth. Why did you suddenly change your number?”

Straight to the point. Leia hesitated.

“To protect you.”

“Protect me from what, your own deceptions?”

“It’s a long story, Rey. But you have to keep BB8 with you, every step of the way. Don’t let Ben near her.”

“Oh believe me, Madam Skywalker, I have all the time in the world. In fact, I think I could really use a long story, given that my normal life has been upended by the godforsaken, murderous “Knights of Ren”. Thank you for that, by the way. This is not how I wanted to spend my time, so I really think you owe me an explanation.”

The older woman sighed again. Rey was right. In her blind panic to strike FORCE as quickly as possible, she had forgotten the human factors involved. She had put this innocent girl in danger.

She was clearly resourceful and capable, but she was innocent all the same. She deserved the truth.

Ever so carefully, Leia began her story. Starting with her parents’ company, the betrayal of her mother by her father, his fall from corporate grace, and then the massive culture shift under Snoke’s leadership. As the new director, Snoke had sold shares of the family business to their competitors through fraudulent financial schemes, gaining enough political influence to become the president of the board. Then he came for Luke and Leia, who had been attempting to independently audit his financial gains.

Finally, he was able to turn Leia’s own son, Ben, against her. He offered him everything she never could: money, power, and a prestigious title.

Rey paid close attention. The backstory gave her a lot of context for what she had already known from her web searches. But it still didn’t answer her biggest question.

“Leia, where do I fit into all of this?”

Rey, Leia admitted, was a Golden Opportunity (trademark pending)...truly one in a million, too good to pass up, really. In the Leia’s line of work, one had to make decisions rapidly—often in high-stakes strategic situations with difficult choices and volatile conditions. The situation could devolve at any given moment.

How could Earth Soldiers get the micro-SD, that contained all of the evidence of FORCE’s illegal insider trading under Snoke and Hux, to San Francisco without triggering a defensive strike? Leia’s solution was to use a clean hand. Who better than someone who was going on a haphazard road trip across the country with no agenda and no political motives or alliances whatsoever? Rey was the perfect messenger.

What Leia hadn’t counted on was Ben’s intervention. He crashed through the plan like a bull in a china shop. Brash, but incredibly effective. Underestimating her son always had proven to be her fatal flaw.

Rey took the time to absorb it all. On it’s face, Leia’s strategy was questionable, but not impossible.

“You should have told me all this at the very beginning.”

“If I had, would you have taken the job?”

“Probably not. But that’s not the point! You had no right to put my life in danger over a personal conflict. Especially without my knowledge. What am I to you? Just collateral damage?”

On the other side, Leia’s shoulders slumped. She couldn’t respond. She had made some questionable decisions in her lifelong conflict against FORCE, and it wore her down on some days. Sometimes she was too quick, too rash for her own good. She thought back to her days in the army, how she had always been surrounded by comrades-in-arms who strived for the same mission. But real life wasn’t like that.

Rey didn’t need to hear that, probably didn’t want to hear it either.

“You’re my only hope,” Leia said simply. “And if the Knights of Ren are after you I can send someone to escort you.”

This would alert all of FORCE’s allies, they would all target the Millenium Falcon at once. But Rey didn’t deserve to be sacrificed for a cause that wasn’t her own.

“Luckily, I’m not done here. I think I still have a card to play. Can I call you at this number—or are you going to disappear again?”

“You can keep it, as long as you memorize it. Please, I don’t want to be traced.”

“Understood. You’ll hear from me soon.”

Rey hung up. The very next person she called was Ben Solo.

[ofhvney]

he’s been here before. he’ll be here again, he’s sure, at some point in his lifetime. you can take the boy out of the mob, but you can’t take the mob out of the boy, or something like that. either way, his shoes tread the same path they have plenty of times before, skipping stairs on the way up to the police department door. he’s ten minutes late, iced coffee in hand, and he nods to the secretary at the front desk like they’re old friends. “ let ‘em know i’m here ? ” he requests, flashing her a smile, and she picks up the phone. elaine grant and michael forrester emerge not long after, greeted by the sight of a murder suspect draped haphazardly over three chairs in the waiting room. 

“ alright, ” he sighs dramatically, sitting up and snagging his coffee off the table next to him. he glances between the two officers, as if they need his approval to carry this charade out. “ let’s get this show on the road. ”

A MESS, FEATURING: @the-great-and-wonderful-oz, @bclthczcros, @ofcelesticls, @figurchead, @rosaliamorais.

part one ( you )

do you have any criminal history ? anything big or small that you want to make us aware of ?

“ y’all have a file. can’t you read ? ” he’s off to a great start, petulant look on his face as he waits for an answer. the only thing he gets in response is a prompt to answer the question, cooperate, blah blah blah. boring. he’d liked it better when he’d been able to drunkenly joke around with the beat cops back in the holding cell.

“ public drunkenness, drunk & disorderly, and assault. ” he offers them a grin, then, all sharp white teeth, the wolf greeting little red riding hood. “ but all charges have been dropped. so do with that what you will. elaine, go ahead and jot it down, i know you want to. ” he leans forward, tipping his chin as if trying to spy on her notepad. “ say, would you mind using a sharpie or something ? that pen’s too light for me to see. i kinda felt like this could be a group project, you know ? collaboration. ” he purses his lips at the silence he gets in response, then sits back once more. “ damn, never mind. solo it is. ”

how have you spent the few weeks back at college ? what have they been like ?

“ does this question ever go over well ? this feels like the kind of question that doesn’t go over well. ” he rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “ it’s been shitty. i was minding my own business, trying to start my senior year off, actually attempting to go to class for once. but daisey rutherford just had to go and get herself killed. now we’re all huddled up in our rooms from dusk ‘til dawn, trying our very best not to put targets on our foreheads. ” he raised one brow. “ ain’t college a dream ? ”

part two ( daisey )

how did you know miss. rutherford ? what was the nature of your relationship ? 

“ not good, which i’m sure is why you dragged my ass in here. ” he sighs, tipping his chair back on its two back legs. “ she stole from me freshman year. some... really important documents, things that weren’t the type of thing i’d appreciate anyone touching, much less someone i barely knew. i was pissed, obviously, since she stole from me. classic rich girl move, you know ? she’s got all the fucking money in the world— stop looking at me like that, we’re all adults here, i can fucking curse. anyway. sorry, she had all the money in the world, and she still decided to poke around and pilfer my shit. i was rightfully angry, and we’ve never gotten along since. i generally tried to avoid her, but this campus is small, so i’d still see her sometimes. i mostly just talked shit if i ever ran into her. ” honey watches elaine’s pen move across her notepad, and he can practically see MOTIVE flashing across the paper like a neon sign. which, he feels, is catastrophically unfair. even in death, daisey’s making his life harder. 

do you remember where you were the night daisey went missing ? if so, where were you ? what were you doing ? who were you with ?

honey sucks his teeth for a moment, knowing the answer but not quite wanting to admit to it. his eyes dart between the two officers, their eyebrows raised expectantly, and he lets out a sigh. “ well, i sure hope this is a no-judgement zone, ” he says dryly, folding his hands in front of him on the table. “ i was at oz lamar’s party, same as i’m sure most people were. i spent the beginning of the night chatting with some classmates, playing some drinking games, that sort of thing. i then went to the upstairs bathroom and hooked up with my boyfriend — well, he wasn’t my boyfriend at the time, but anyway — zar ros. balthazar. we came back downstairs separately, and a little while later i headed back upstairs with my best friend, kiki kibler. kiera. ” 

their gazes continue to bore into him, as if to say and what did you do up there ? 

“ i hooked up with her, too, alright ? jeez. can’t a guy get laid in peace ? ” honey rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair once more. “ we came back down about an hour later, and i spent the rest of the night with kiki. i left at around 2:30. ”

did you notice anything strange about daisey’s behavior the night she went missing ? did you notice anything suspicious about anyone else you ran into that night ? 

he’s about to answer, say some bullshit about what am i, her keeper ? when he remembers the interaction they’d had that night. though it’s been a while since the party, he can recall the look on her face as clear as day. “ yeah, actually. she was being all... paranoid and weird, ” honey says, frowning. “ i don’t know why, i mean— like i told you, we sure as hell weren’t friends. but she seemed super freaked out about something. she even asked me to switch jackets with her, which was... so fucking weird. obviously her shit didn’t fit me, so i just tied it around my waist. i looked like a fucking dork, but whatever. i didn’t even think to say no, you know ? i was kind of caught off guard by the fact that she seemed so different than usual. even when i’d talk shit to her face, she was usually pretty composed. kind of a bitch. but that night she seemed... freaked out. like she was looking over her shoulder for something. so... that was definitely strange. ” he thinks for another moment, searching his brain. “ other than that, not really. daisey was the only one i saw acting odd. ”

where were you the night daisey’s body was recovered ?

“ at home, high as a fucking kite. my roommate was probably around somewhere. otto ballantyne ? ” he stares at them for a long moment, as if he’s playing some strange game of chicken. honey’s the one to break first, laughing loudly in the small room. it echoes off the walls. “ i’m joking. jesus, can you imagine ? i don’t do drugs, officers, ” he says sweetly, and it’s clear that he’s lying, but what does he care ? “ i was at home, though. i got pizza delivered. meat lovers. you can double check me on that. ” a jab at zar, for ignoring him the entire day after he’d left that voicemail. it feels stupid, now. 

how familiar are you with the ashmont woods ? have you been there often ? have you recently ventured out here ? if so, why ?

“ familiar enough. ” he shrugs, as if the answer is obvious. until nate’s body had been found there, it’d been as innocuous a place as any to him. “ i mean, they’re right there. there’s some nice paths to take a walk or run on, if you’re into that sort of thing. i go there sometimes to clear my head, but i haven’t been there recently — other than to participate in the search party. ”

part three ( the investigation )

do you have feelings towards the investigation ? any comments ?

he shrugs again, indifference clear in the lines of his expression. “ no offense, but i don’t really care, ” he answers, reaching out for his coffee. he takes a long, slow sip, pushing the limits of the officers’ annoyance just for the sake of annoying them. “ like, i’m glad you’ve got something exciting to do for once, but i just want to, like, live my fucking life. not being able to go out past 7 makes me feel like a goddamn mormon or something. and they’re extinct. ” he shakes his head, seemingly indifferent to the matching, confused looks on their faces. “ i hope you catch the dude or whatever, but do it quick. i’m tired of this already. ”

do you have any people you feel the police should look into ? please, let us know who and why.

his first thought is: the boyfriend usually did it, but his own fucking roommate is— was— daisey’s fiancé. he doesn’t think otto’s capable of this, not even for the drama of it all. “ i have no idea, ” he says, and it rings true. “ i’d say maybe an ex of some kind, but... beyond being antagonistic toward each other, i didn’t really know daisey. i don’t want to point fingers at people in her life without really knowing what was going on. ”

part four ( weekly events — search party )

were you part of the search party in the woods on october 15th to 17th ? if yes, what did you find ? 

“ i was. ” that answer is simple. the next, not so much. what did you find. honey loses focus for a moment, his mind blurring the lines between every time he’s found something like he did that day in the woods. he snatches at wisps of bodies, some more battered than others, some more... unrecognizable than others. finally, his mind catches on the feeling of his hand on alice’s shoulder, warm and solid, and he startles back to the present. “ nate ballantyne, ” he answers, clearing his throat. “ i found nate ballantyne’s dead fucking body. i already answered questions about that. look at your goddamn file if you want more details. ”

in the week that the four students were missing, did anyone’s behaviour strike you as odd or suspicious?

he settles them with a look, impatient now that his iced coffee is gone. “ i’ve been too busy being locked up in my apartment for half the day to really interact with my classmates all that much. i didn’t notice anything amiss, but i wasn’t really spending a lot of time out and about. i was mostly at home with my boyfriend. ”

what is your connection to the four missing students ?

their faces flash through his mind: libby’s, danny’s, nate’s... one of them dead. his thoughts only stop once they reach rosa, picturing the way she rolls her eyes at him, goodnatured and usually followed by an exasperated smile. he can’t help the selfish flash of gratitude that she came out of this ordeal alive. “ i’m good friends with rosa morais. rosalia. but the other three... ” he trails off, shaking his head. “ i didn’t know them well. acquaintances at best. ”

do you know of anyone ( or anything ) that could lend to the motive of the person who killed  nathaniel ballantyne?

“ no, ” he says, and it’s the truth. daisey had much more obvious answers — she had plenty of enemies, himself included. but nate ? sure, he’d been... kind of pretentious, but honey had never gotten the impression that anyone truly disliked or hated him for it. “ sorry, i didn’t know him too well. that’s probably a better question for oz lamar. they were close. ” 

his eyes dart back and forth between them, and he waits for another question that never comes. elaine is still writing on her damn notepad.

“ are we done here ? ” he says, breaking the silence. “ i think we’re done here. ” he pushes back his chair abruptly and turns to leave, abandoning his coffee cup. they can clean up after him, for all he cares. all he wants right now is to go the fuck home.

[aredhel85]

The Serpent’s Fate

The plan made sense, even the weird prophecy of the long dead mad witch made sense … and still Crowley was hesitant. Not because he didn’t believe the plan would work – deep down he knew it would, although there were more than enough possibilities for it to go wrong – and not because he didn’t trust Aziraphale, because if there was anyone in heaven, on earth or in hell that he trusted, it was the angel. Also, he knew that they knew each other well enough, long enough, to be able to convince their respective opposing side that they were the respective other.

All that did not worry him.

What worried him was a feeling, an urge, that had been strong in him for several millennia and was all but easy to overcome: To keep the angel save and unhurt.

He knew it was ridiculous, that the hurt that would come to him would be far worse if they didn’t switch bodies, but still …

“Crowley, dear, do you have doubts about the plan?”

They were standing in Crowley’s flat, Aziraphale still holding out his hand, waiting for Crowley to take it, waiting for them to switch bodies. After some drinking, getting sober again and hours of talking they had, after all, both decided that it was the most logical thing to do. You can’t kill a demon by the same means as an angel and vice versa. If they switched bodies, their soul – or whatever there was in Crowley’s case – would still be the same and the body they would then inhabit would be affected by that. If everything worked out, it would keep them both safe.

It was their only chance.

“I need to tell ya something first”, Crowley said in a slow voice. It wasn’t easy. He had kept that secret from everyone for so long, unwilling to admit weakness, even to Aziraphale.

Slowly the angel let his hand sink down and looked at him with those eyes Crowley could spend hours looking at. Now they were curious and slightly concerned.

The demon sighed heavily, started pacing around the angel, a habit that actually had something to do with what he was about to reveal. He wondered how to start, how to say something that had been his secret for 6,000 years. Aziraphale’s eyes followed him.

Finally, he started speaking. “Because you have done this, cursed are you more than all cattle, and more than every beast of the field; on your belly you will go, and dust you will eat all the days of your life. Blah, blah, blah.”

Surprised the angel raised his eyebrows. “Well, I must admit I didn’t expect you of all people to quote the Bible. But … what are you trying to tell me? This was obviously wrongly transcribed, dear. You are walking, after all. You are right now.”

Finally, Crowley came to a halt right in front of Aziraphale. He did not take off his sunglasses, glad that he didn’t have to meet his eyes directly. “No, it wasn’t, angel.” He paused a moment, before continuing. “I just think it’s fair to warn you before you are trapped in my body for a few hours or a day or whatever. It will hurt.”

Aziraphale just stared at him with barely masked concern. “I fear I don’t quite understand …” His voice was quiet, as though he feared what was to come now.

“Yeah … You know, I’m not supposed to walk. I wasn’t supposed to take a human form ever again. I defied Her, being the bastard that I am.”

He remembered that moment all too clearly. He had seen Aziraphale standing on the wall surrounding Eden. So perfect, so beautiful. He had watched him many times before that, while he had been, as he had called it himself very recently, on apple tree duty. Crowley had wanted nothing more than talk to him, but not in this form, not as the sinful reptile which had just sealed humanity’s fate. He wanted to talk to him as an equal, or at least as much an equal as he could, being the demon he was. And so he had slithered up the wall and before Aziraphale could see him, he had changed his form. Back then, the first time after God had cursed him for tempting Eve, it had taken so much more willpower than it did now, but he had done it, he had stood by the angel’s side for the first time of many more to come. And it had been worth the side effects, still was.

“I’m not supposed to have legs,” he continued. “Therefore, they hurt every time I stand or walk on them. Mostly when I stand for a long time, that’s the main reason I try to keep moving. But walking for too long isn’t much better, really. It gets worse when it’s cold and when I’m under a lot of strain. So it’s pretty bad right now. I doubt it will stop just because you’re in my body.”

Aziraphale stilled stared at him, stunned. He waited for the pity he had wanted to avoid so much. Maybe the disgust. The realisation that this was exactly what Crowley, the Serpent of Eden, deserved.

Instead, light blue eyes became watery. There was no pity, only compassion, so much compassion. “Oh my dear boy. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I should have noticed.”

Trying to hide the lump in his own throat, Crowley shook his head once. “Bullshit. I didn’t want you to know and so you didn’t. Easy as that. I’m used to it.” That wasn’t exactly true. On some days, warm and lazy days, preferably spent on the sofa of Aziraphale’s book shop, he indeed hardly noticed it, but there were days when he just wanted to scream and scream and scream. Not that this would change anything. The only thing that helped then was hiding away in his flat and spending some days in his snake form.

“How can you get used being in constant pain?”

Crowley raised his shoulders, slowly circling Aziraphale again, just to stretch his legs, to stop them from cramping up too much.

“There’s a lot you can put up with if you have to, angel. Anyway, I’m not telling you that for the sake of whining. I just want you to be prepared. It won’t be pleasant.”

Aziraphale straightened, turning around to look at Crowley. “If you can endure that for 6,000 years, I will manage for a mere day.” Again, he held out his hand.

The demon sighed. “Let’s sit down.” Hopefully that would lessen the initial shock. It was indeed pretty bad right now, with the stress of the fucking Apocalypse that didn’t happen after all and being on his legs almost constantly for days, his legs and hips were cramping like crazy. It wouldn’t be easy for the angel to pretend to be him when constantly distracted like that.

In the vague hope that the pain would follow him, no matter which body he inhabited, he finally took his friend’s hand – one of the few times he had actually touched him – and concentrated. The switch was quick and went without a problem and for a few selfish seconds he relished in the feeling to be truly painless for the first time in 6,000 years despite his human form. Aziraphale’s body was so very comfortable and …

The few moments of bliss were interrupted by a quiet, suppressed groan.

Crowley looked up and saw his own body, face not carefully concealing the pain with the ease of years and years of practice, but with a tight and painful expression. Aziraphale tried to hide it, but it must have hit him, who had surely known very little true pain in his long life, like a damn sledgehammer. The angel, trapped in the demon’s body, moved around, trying to find a position which was more comfortable. Crowley knew that this was a more than useless effort, especially in the current condition his body was in. It would take days of rest to get better after the last few days and let’s face it – years. Being in the useless nanny costume every day – he hated himself for having invented high heels – hadn’t exactly been comfortable either.

It was hellish for him, he couldn’t imagine how Aziraphale was feeling.

“I’m so sorry, angel.” His voice was uncharacteristically quiet and sincere. Despite the wonderful lightness of being in a different body he would have switched back immediately, but that wouldn’t help. It would get them both killed.

Aziraphale looked at him, the golden snake eyes painfully wide and unbelieving. “You live like that all the time?”

“No, not all the time, really. It’s not always that bad. It’s just been … crazy lately. As I said before, stress and a lot of strain makes it worse, so there we are. You shouldn’t have to endure that. You of all people sure as hell don’t deserve it.” The words were out before he could think them through.

“You don’t either!” For a moment the tightness left Crowley’s voice with which the angel now spoke. But his voice was uncharacteristically passionate. “I don’t care if you want to hear it or not, but you are one of the kindest people I have known in all my existence! You don’t deserve that. And if She thinks you do, well …” The angel’s voice faltered, but he did continue. “Then She’s wrong.”

“Don’t say that”, Crowley almost hissed in shock.

“Oh I will. Even to Her face, if I must.”

They were both quiet for a moment, then Aziraphale carefully got up, trying to keep his face straight, just like Crowley had done all those years. He walked a few tentative steps, getting used to the feeling, then he made an effort to walk normally, and then in Crowley’s typical way of walking. He was doing surprisingly well and the demon respected him even more for it.

“I thought you walk like that because it’s easier. It’s not, though, is it?” Questioningly the angel looked at him.

Despite himself, Crowley grinned. “Nah, it’s just for the sake of sinful vanity.”

---

It went well. Crowley had convinced heaven that he was Aziraphale and could not be killed by hellfire. The only thing he regretted was not being able to give that smug bastard Gabriel a good push towards the flames.

To his endless relief, Aziraphale already waited for him on their usual park bench, sitting there in a typical Crowley manner.

He was alright. Everything had been worth it.

They exchanged a few words, made sure neither heaven nor hell was watching them and then Crowley held out his hand.

This time, however, it was the angel who hesitated. “Are you ready for switching back?” His voice was hesitant once more, very quiet and through Crowley’s sunglasses he looked into the demon’s currently blue eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean … We could stay like this for a few days. I could take it. Really. I mean, I just get some rest, allow your body to recover, you enjoy a few painless days and when you return to your body, it won’t be so hard.”

Crowley had to look away. Those words, still spoken without pity, but endlessly compassionate and with so much kindness, moved him more than he wanted to admit.

And for a moment he was tempted. A few days, a few blissful days without pain, when he could do whatever he wanted to do … But no, he could not allow that. Not when Aziraphale had to bear his punishment during this time. How should he enjoy a single second with that knowledge?

Still he could not bring himself to say no immediately. “Why would you do that?”, he asked instead. An honest question; he didn’t understand it. Why would the angel, who had very recently claimed to not even like him, do something like that for him?

The angel raised his shoulders, looking at Crowley almost … sadly. “I can’t stand the thought of you being in pain all the time,” he finally admitted quietly. “And I can’t believe I never noticed. I will never cease to be sorry about that, my dear. I just want you to have … you know, a few nice days, I suppose. You deserve that so much.”

Crowley closed his eyes, shook his head slowly, but felt long, thin fingers, his own fingers, but not controlled by himself, on his cheeks. “Yes, you do, my dear. You really do.”

The demon took a deep, shuddering breath, again shaking his head. “No, we switch back now. I can turn into a snake and just sleep for a few days. It’ll be better after that. I doubt you’d manage that trick.”

“Probably not,” Aziraphale admitted, his hands now on his shoulders. He hesitated. “But … we can switch again someday. When you need a break. Any time, my dear.”

Crowley had no idea how to react to such a kind gesture and so he only nodded shortly, not meeting Aziraphale’s eyes, and with no intention at all of ever taking him by the offer.

Then he held out his hand and this time the angel took it.

------

I’m considering to make a small series out of this. What do you think?

If you prefer to read it on Archive of our own, here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20018443

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you feel bored with your life? I do feel that way, some days more so than others. Like some days even the few things I like to do, like Tumblr and surveys, just don’t cut it.  Who’s someone you miss that you haven’t talked to in years? Ty. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? No. How do you feel right now? Tired. Do you have severe withdrawals from medications? I imagine I would if I had to stop taking my pain medication. 

What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I’ve never had weight gain from a medication. Do you have a doctor you can trust? I just answered this in the previous survey. Wth is going with these surveys, man. So many will have the same questions, and not just the basic ones that like all surveys have, but ones that should be more random like this.  What’s the stupidest decision you ever made? Oh where to start. The health related ones definitely top the cake. There were things I could have and should have done, but didn’t for some stupid reason. I should have taken better care of myself.  What’s the best thing that ever happened to you? When my younger brother was born (cue the “awwwwww”). I was 9 and may not have been psyched about having a brother at first (sorry!), but he’s the best little bro ever. Turned out so much better than me. He should be the older one, honestly. I look up to him. And also of course all the doggos I’ve been fortunate to have in my life. How old were you the first time you encountered God? When I was a young kid, but I didn’t really understand it and then I got to be older and went through many years of being atheist and agnostic. I was led back to Him when Ty came back into my life in late 2015. Have you ever been filled with the Holy Spirit? I believe so. Have you ever had an encounter with the supernatural? No. How many tattoos do you have, and what are they of? I don’t have any. How do you get through hard times? * I dont rlly do anything all that different. Like, my overall routines dont rlly change, I still do mostly the same stuff on a day-to-day basis. I do try to find more comforting and distracting things to do, tho, and I try to be extra kind and patient toward myself when Im struggling or when life puts some bit of unwanted chaos in my path, ahah <<< Same for the first part about not doing anything different in regards to what I do and my overall routines staying the same, but also trying to distract myself more. I’ve been going through a really hard time for a long time, but here we are. That being said, I’m not doing anything to try and better it, and that’s where my issue is.  What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? The pain after surgical procedures.  What’s the worst level of emotional pain you’ve ever experienced? Losing loved ones and my depression, particularly these past few years. Have you ever been suicidal? Not actively. I can’t say I’ve never thought about it, but I’ve never seriously planned anything or tried anything. I’m too scared and I don’t want to hurt my loved ones. And truthfully, I don’t really want to die. I just want to start living. I want to not feel this way anymore and not have this battle with my mind and feeling as sad and miserable and crappy as I do. I want to live a live I’m passionate about and actually do something. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? Yes, to God. Do you ever feel lost and alone? “If you’re lost and alone, and sinking like a stone, carry onnnnn.” What do you miss about high school? I mean, I wouldn’t wanna go back, but there were some good parts. It had its ups and downs.  What do you miss the most about college? I’ve answered this recently. Did you like high school? Like I said, it had its ups and downs. What was the name of the first dorm you lived in? I never lived in a dorm. What was the last thing that made you angry? Blah. Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Yes. I’m a victim of a drive-by shooting. Is your life worse than you could have ever have imagined it to be? I mean, I didn’t imagine my life being how its been these past few years... …or is it better, or just what you expected? No. Are you married? No. Are you hurting in any way right now? Yes. Are you currently missing someone? There’s a few people I’ll always miss. What are you wearing? Black leggings and a gray Nirvana shirt. What was the last flavor of tea you drank? Peppermint.  Do you feel like youtube’s gotten boring lately? No. What would you change about your hair if you could? I just need to get it dyed and trimmed. Are you jealous of anyone? No. Do you have a secret? Maybe. If you could tell anyone a secret right now, who would it be? No one. Do you miss someone that you blew it with? Yes. I’ll always regret how things went with Ty.  Is there a guy (or girl) you wish you hadn’t screwed things up with? Yeah, Ty. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? Coffee shop and bookstore dates with Ty. What’s the last great song you discovered? Hmm. Do you prefer color or black and white? I like both, just depends. Do you own a thermometer? Yeah. Has facebook gotten boring lately? Yeah it kinda is.  Do you feel free to post how you feel on facebook? I don’t really post anything on there anymore, especially not anything personal or about my opinions on big topics.  Which stereotype do you fit the most? Don’t know, don’t care. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Burger King, Taco Bell, Chick-Fil-A, McDonalds, and Jack in the Box. I haven’t been into fast food; though, the past couple months, which is very odd for me.  What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? For my birthday we took a gondola ride up 9000ft and got the most beautiful view of the mountains, lake, and city. It was incredible.  What is one place you have always wanted to visit? Hawaii. What was your favorite vacation you went on as a child? Disneyland. Who were your favorite celebrities as a child? I was the 12/13/14 year old with tons of posters all over my wall from magazines.  What was the first CD you bought? I think the 1st one I bought myself was Ashlee Simpson’s CD, Autobiography. ha.  How old are you? 30. What year were you born? 1989. Did you go to prom? Yes. Are you jealous of people who are ten years younger? I’m kind of envious in some ways. For one, they’re 20 years old aka babies and not old like me haha. But second of all, they’re really just starting out. I’m envious of the ones who are living their best lives and having fun and the ones who are starting college and making the best of it while also having a good social life. People at 20 still have so much time ahead to figure things out, and that I’m very envious of. If you could rewind time ten years, would you? It would be tempting. There’s so much I’d like to do differently. The thought of going through college all over again isn’t appealing, though. But man. Some changes that I’d like to change might make it worth it, though.. they would make such a big difference for me. Some of the things I’m dealing with now I don’t think I would be if I did some things differently. What do you miss the most about your past? I miss my childhood the most. Do you like getting older? Not at all. What is the last song you played on repeat? Hm. I’m not one to really play songs on repeat, so I don’t recall. Do you own a CD player? Nope. What hard thing are you going through right now, if applicable? My health and life stuff. What do you need prayer for? Good health and strength.  Are you ok? “I’m not okay, I’m not o-fucking-kay.” What’s the best retreat you’ve ever been on? I haven’t been on a retreat.  Do you love free falling? “Now I’m freeeeeee. Free fallin’.” Do you prefer slow songs or fast songs? I like both. Have you made any progress toward going after your dreams? No. I don’t even have any dreams to work towards right now. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? My family definitely would. They always have. Do you have regrets? Do I ever. Does anyone really know you? I don’t even really know me. I’ve changed these past few years and became someone I don’t know and certainly don’t like. I’m struggling with whether this is who I really am now, or am I like this because of my depression and health stuff? I really don’t know. Are you close to anyone right now? My mom and brother. What color is your trash can? The one in my room is white. Do you know anyone who is stuck-up? Yes. What color is your dresser? Brown. Are you more boho, hipster, sporty, goth, or girly? I’m just casual. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic, Macys, JCP... I don’t really remember where else I shopped in high school.  Do you drive a car? No. If not, do you wish you had a car? I don’t drive, so I have no use for a car. Do you own a computer? If yes, is it a desktop or laptop? I have a laptop. What color is your cell phone? Coral. How old were you when you first got a cell phone? 16. What is your favorite season? Fall. Do you wish you had a popsicle right now? No. I’m not a popsicle person. Or ice cream in general, really. I rarely have any. It’s been like 3 years since I’ve had any. Who was your favorite family pet when you were growing up? My dog, Scruffy. He was with us from the time I was 5 until I was 18. What’s your favorite color? Pastels, yellow, mint green, rose gold, and coral. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Nope. List five of your favorite youtubers. Nah. Who’s your best friend? My mom. If you don’t have one, who do you wish were your best friend? Is your heart hurting? Not physically, but yeah. What song are you listening to right now, if any? I’m not. At what time of day do you usually feel the most energetic? Never? What medication or drug has given you the worst withdrawals? I’m sure my pain med would.