#I AM SO SORRY THIS IS A NO-WIN SITUATION. I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT OKAY. SORRY 😬😬😬

[redlinespeedster]

how about charlos x driver!reader

I am a slut for both 🫠

OVERTAKE !! ☆

carlos sainz 𝒙 fem!driver reader 𝒙 charles leclerc

[summary] The world of motorsport is shaken by the shocking news: Carlos Sainz has been fired from Ferrari under circumstances many consider unfair. And to make matters worse, his replacement is you—a rising talent, sure, but still a rookie. The news couldn’t hit the Spaniard harder. Suddenly, a newcomer he barely knows is taking everything from him: his seat, his friends, his recognition… and worst of all Charles. Carlos isn’t about to just sit back and watch it happen. (7k)

[warnings] Smut !! threesome, toxic & jealous behavior, dom!carlos, switch!charles, sub!reader, m/m action, rough sex, dirty talk, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (fem receiving), hand job, this is filthy as fuck. Spanish is my first language, and I usually write all my fics in Spanish first, then translate them myself with a lot of effort. Sorry if anything sounds off or if there are mistakes.

[notes] At first, I was like “just a simple one shot,” but then I thought—why not turn it into my 100 followers celebration? You already know this account lives and breathes Charlos, so sit back and enjoy. ❤️

The news that Carlos Sainz will leave Ferrari in the 2025 season completely shook the world of motorsport. It was an unexpected blow. Sainz himself admitted to feeling betrayed: he was ready to renew for another year with the Scuderia, and suddenly, he was out. As if he were worth nothing.

But it didn’t take long before it was announced that you would be the one to replace the Spaniard. It almost felt ironic to him: a rookie, also considered a rising star in motorsport, was now joining the biggest team in Formula 1. Although, when you really think about it, it’s not that surprising — something very similar happened with Charles. The Italian team now sees the possibility of winning the Constructors’ Championship over McLaren closer than ever.

But not even then was when Carlos started to resent you. Well, yes — aside from all that, you were egocentric, you thought you could conquer the world, and you carried that same attitude onto the track. You spoke with a confidence meant to project a superiority that didn’t really exist. But not even that bothered him so much about you. In fact, he even found you attractive.

But he couldn’t help the way hatred began to grow inside him when he noticed that Leclerc also seemed attracted to you. It was true that the Monegasque had always been naturally flirty with everyone —something that had already sparked more than one fight in their relationship, fights that almost always ended up being settled in bed. But ever since he left Ferrari, everything changed. No more quick hookups in the drivers’ room, no more wet kisses stolen when no one was looking. Now he was just following you around like a dog… chasing after you —and your pussy. He couldn’t stand it. He felt like changing teams had practically made him cease to exist.

Charles had always had a weakness for pretty, feminine women. Being a woman in a male-dominated sport didn’t mean you couldn’t be as elegant and flirtatious as you wanted. And damn, you really were. Just watching you walk by was enough to leave more than one driver —and even the occasional engineer— sighing. Fuck, you could be so damn annoying.

Carlos would’ve preferred not to know that you and Charles were sleeping together. But it was almost obvious—the way you looked at each other, how he’d rest his hand on the small of your back, or how you laughed at every stupid thing he said. There was no need to even ask. He didn’t have to catch you in a compromising situation to understand what was going on.

Because it had been exactly the same with him.

Those green eyes, shamelessly flirty, were a trap he’d fallen into over and over again. He couldn’t forget the way Charles spoke to him in that soft voice, laced with double meanings, dropping sexual innuendos every other sentence just because he wanted to be pushed against a wall and fucked without hesitation. The way he’d hold his face in those nearly perfect hands, just to kiss him breathless. How he’d sit on his lap while signing a few caps, shamelessly grinding his ass against his erection, knowing exactly what he was doing. And now he wanted to pretend none of that had meant anything?

Carlos had been replaced in every way—at work, in the spotlight… and between Charles’s legs. Now it was you who rode him, who had him inside, who made him moan like he’d never been with anyone else. He couldn’t help but wonder just how tight your pussy had to be to turn him so fucking stupid for you. And the more he thought about it, the stronger the burning curiosity grew inside him to know what it felt like to be squeezed by you like that.

Maybe his anger comes out on track. His hands on the steering wheel don’t just drive — they force him to overthink everything that shouldn’t be in his head. Qualifying was a disaster, and the race was even worse. He just wanted to be faster… or for this damn nightmare to finally end.

He watches you from afar, driving that red single-seater that, in theory, should’ve been his this season. You’re fighting for third place while Carlos is dragging himself around the back of the field. At first, you notice how he won’t let you through. And that resistance costs you time. Too much time.

“Sainz is a fucking child,” you growl over the radio, fed up with the Spanish driver’s immature attitude — one that’s more like a spoiled, overly competitive kid.

But a single mistake behind the wheel can ruin an entire race, taking out multiple drivers. Carlos’s car collides with yours, sending you both spinning off track. There’s not much to be done: you both have to retire.

You’re frustrated. You’re fighting for a championship — you’re not here for decoration like he is. You knew that collision was intentional, that there was no sign it had been an accident, but the FIA didn’t see it that way.

“Fucking selfish idiot! What the hell is he doing?!” you scream furiously over the radio.

Unfortunately, that outburst earns you a penalty.

A dull anger starts to grow inside you after that incident and after spending hours locked up in the hospital. Over and over you kept repeating that you were fine, that it wasn’t a big deal, that it had just been a minor accident. But the nurse, visibly annoyed, had to remind you that you had crashed into a fence at 200 kilometers per hour.

Charles had been luckier than you. The Monegasque got another podium that season, this time behind the McLarens. And when he told you about it with that silly grin while you were alone, you were about to kill him out of rage. Because just because you slept together didn’t mean you were no longer rivals.

“Your boyfriend hit me,” you growl irritably, gritting your teeth. He barely smiles, with that cocky attitude that drives you crazy. “I’m pretty sure he did it on purpose.”

Your legs rested softly on his thighs while he placed a cold ice pack on your forehead. Although the pain wasn’t very intense, the strong impact had caused the skin around it to start swelling slightly.

“He’s not my boyfriend, but yeah, he probably did it on purpose,” he said, trying to downplay the severity of the Spanish guy’s toxic behavior, which was getting more and more obsessive. “He’s super dominant with me. And yeah, he’s jealous of you.”

“Thanks for telling me,” you say with a hint of sarcasm. “I noticed after he sent me to the hospital by crashing me into a fence at two hundred kilometers per hour.”

Charles laughs, moves the ice off your forehead, and pulls you toward him until you’re sitting on his lap. He gives you a slow kiss on the shoulder, over the fabric of your fireproof suit, and slides his hands down your waist cheekily. “It’s not such a big deal. Actually, I think you turn him on a little. But he won’t admit it… he’s stubborn as fuck.”

You open your eyes in surprise; deep down, you still couldn’t quite believe it. “Feels like he hates me right now,” you say honestly, smiling as you feel him planting wet kisses along your neck’s skin. You tilt your head a little, giving him more access.

Charles laughs against your neck, his warm breath brushing your skin as he leaves hickeys shamelessly, marking you as if you were his. You know you’ll have to cover each of those marks with makeup later because they’ll turn purple… but you love the idea of wearing them, of remembering how he devoured you with his mouth. “Maybe he hates you,” he murmurs with a dirty smile, licking right where it makes you shiver the most. “But that doesn’t mean he’s not dying to get between your legs.”

That sentence lingers in your mind for days. Even when you’re alone at home, already in Monaco, and then again in the paddock, with Charles on top of you as always. His hands grip your neck while he fucks you hard until you’re breathless. He doesn’t even know that in your mind it’s Carlos you’re thinking about, imagining what it would be like if he were in Charles’s place. Would he be rougher? Without a doubt. He would bury his cock with such force that you wouldn’t be able to speak or breathe, only feel how he completely dominates you.

Charles notices that you’re distracted, as if your body, feeling so much pleasure, is in the room with him, but your mind is somewhere else. “What’re you thinking about, mon cœur?” he asks you, slowing the intense rhythm with which he was fucking you.

Your cheeks blush with embarrassment; the image of the Spaniard appears again in your mind and Charles notices because you squeeze him harder than usual. “About Carlos.”

The pace that was slow before now stops completely. He’s not upset or annoyed, but rather curious. Of all the things he expected you might be thinking, that was the last. Because if you were thinking about his ex-lover while the two of you were having sex, it definitely couldn’t be anything sweet or innocent.

“About Carlos, huh?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. Now he definitely has a lot of questions. “So, why were you thinking about him, amour?” So many days had passed that Charles had completely forgotten he told you he might be attracted to you.

He pulls back inside you so he can talk. Both of you remain aroused: he stays fully erect and you completely soaked. That doesn’t stop curiosity from being stronger, and him having to wait before continuing the action.

“I was thinkin’ about what you told me the other day, that maybe he’s into me. And I just can’t stop thinkin’ about it,” you confess slowly, not caring what he might think because he was open, at least in that regard. Charles, of course, understands the feeling, since he’s experienced it more times than he’d like to admit, and still can’t control his knees trembling every time Carlos breathes near him.

He always missed how good it felt when Carlos slid inside him, how everything fit perfectly, how his back arched, and how his tip touched all the right spots. Those were the memories that usually came back before sleeping, along with the ones he had with you.

“I never got why you two stopped seeing each other all those months,” you say, looking him in the eyes, while he slightly turns toward you to hold your gaze.

He’s silent for a moment, as if searching for the exact words, though he himself doesn’t seem fully sure.

“I guess… not being on the same team kinda pushed us apart. He stopped lookin’ for me, I stopped lookin’ for him. And then… you showed up.”

Your eyes shine, and the heat on your cheeks betrays more than you want. You wanted to think he wasn’t with you just because you were his teammate, though honestly, it wouldn’t be that strange. You were together all the time. If not recording some game for YouTube, you were reviewing strategies for the next race, sharing interviews, press conferences… any excuse was valid to keep you two close. And sometimes, very close. Alone.

Maybe that’s why you ended up tangled. It was inevitable.

You remember the first time was in China, after a race that had been an absolute disaster for both of you. The frustration burned inside and you needed to release it somehow. It was quick, impulsive. Hungry bodies searching for an escape route. And it worked so well that you repeated it. Over and over. Until it became a habit: a weekly need, whether at home or in some hotel room lost somewhere in the world.

Because you loved how he touched you. How he read your body without saying a word. The chemistry between you wasn’t casual, it was fire. And you, addicted to every spark.

You slowly slide until you’re curled up in Charles’s arms. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap you firmly, gently pushing you against his chest, as if he needed to feel you close, as if your warmth could calm something inside him. He holds you silently, his lips brushing your hair, breathing deeply.

You want to speak. The words burn in your throat. You’ve never been one to keep your feelings inside, and this time won’t be an exception.

“I think he’s in love with you,” you whisper, not looking at him, your voice barely audible but loaded with meaning.

You can feel how his body reacts. He inhales deeply, his chest rising against your back. The silence that follows stretches, heavy, as Charles closes his eyes. He’s processing it, but doesn’t seem surprised. Deep down… he already knew.

“I know,” he admits calmly. “And I’m in love with you too.”

You sit up slowly, turning to look at him with eyes wide in surprise. But he doesn’t flinch; instead, he takes advantage of your closeness to run his fingers through your hair, caressing you with a tenderness that completely disarms you. As if that confession had been the most natural thing in the world.

You kiss him softly, your lips barely brushing his, as if inviting him to lose himself in you. He responds immediately, deepening the kiss with a slowness that sends shivers across your skin, taking his time to explore your mouth, to taste you, to touch you with every glide until you’re both intoxicated by one another. As if the world had stopped, even though in a few hours you’d have to be back on track for free practice.

And yet, even in the middle of that perfect moment, the memory of Carlos slips into Charles’s mind like a whisper from the past. As you close your eyes and settle against his chest, seeking a few minutes of rest, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like if Carlos were there too. Not to take your place—but to share it. The three of you, tangled in a bed, wrapped in desire… or simply together, anywhere in the world. He lets himself drift into that fantasy for a few seconds more, until reality calls him back: the roar of the engines, the flash of cameras, the show waiting for you.

Carlos longed for things to go back to how they were. You were looking for something new. Charles wanted both the old and the new. And maybe that was a sign that all your pieces fit perfectly together.

The following weeks were a true display of dominance by McLaren over the rest of the teams and drivers. It’s fair to say that while everyone else was racing, they were simply flying. Only Max Verstappen still held onto a glimmer of hope of turning the situation around, although even for him it was becoming difficult to face the tyranny imposed by the British team.

And as if that weren’t enough, now in Monaco, Ferrari was starting to get back on its feet after several races plagued by disastrous results with their new car… which looked more like a coffee machine than a race car. Even you were getting frustrated that it wasn’t performing as expected.

You never talked about Carlos again between you, but that didn’t mean you stopped thinking about each other. No one could ignore the stolen glances in the paddock: you, looking for him; Charles, noticing how he looked at your hips when you walked by; and how Charles stared at his arms—and Carlos noticed.

Those almost adolescent behaviors had you all teetering on the edge of unbearable sexual tension. You didn’t speak—not you two and him—but that didn’t stop the looks from saying everything the words kept silent.

But Charles couldn’t hold out much longer. Months had passed without a single word exchanged, even though, in reality, nothing truly serious had happened between them. Maybe that’s why he made a decision that could be considered reckless… but sometimes, just sometimes, he missed even just talking to him. Before anything else, they had been friends. Or at least something like it.

“Rough weekend, huh?” he said, and his face immediately flushed, realizing how stupid the comment sounded. Of course it had been a tough weekend—Carlos had qualified near the back for his home race.

The Spaniard looked at him with mild disdain, and for a moment, Charles’ heart cracked a little. They were alone; he had no idea how Charles had ended up there. But now… were they supposed to coexist? After so many months of silence?

Charles seemed to be searching for something, as always. Because in the end, he always came crawling back to him, tail between his legs.

“What the hell are you doing?” Carlos asked the Monegasque firmly, leaning in just enough to invade his personal space. “Already bored of your new toy, or is that why you’re suddenly all nice and chatty?”

Charles flushed instantly, trying to ignore the phrase he had just used. He tried to regain control of the conversation, as if that could hide the heat creeping up his body.

“I just… I dunno, wanted to see how you were doing. We’ve been way too distant,” he murmured, not very convincingly.

Carlos let out a dry laugh and stepped closer, completely cornering him. His hands pressed against the wall on either side of Charles’ head. They were so close that Carlos’ breath brushed against his lips. Charles closed his eyes for a second, anticipating the inevitable, his body reacting before his mind; he remembered exactly what it felt like to have him like this—so close, so his.

“Whose damn fault is that?” Carlos murmured, raising an eyebrow with a slow smile, as if savoring the question.

He didn’t answer. His mind tangled in excuses and silences: was it the team, was it him? He didn’t know. And Carlos knew that. He watched him unravel before his eyes—and he loved it.

“That’s it, right?” Carlos leaned in a little more, his voice brushing against him like a whisper laced with sweet poison. “She’s got you so fucking gone you can’t even think straight anymore. Got you so fucking hard you can’t even see what’s right in front of you. You’re way too easy to mess with like this…”

Charles felt a wave of heat rush through his chest, rising forcefully until it lodged in his throat. Breathing became difficult; a slight dizziness washed over him, mingling with something dangerously close to arousal. Carlos’ gaze was fixed on his lips—intense, almost devouring—and Charles fought to ignore how shaky his hands had become, how sudden the shiver running down his body was.

“Not even blaming you, man…” Carlos murmured into his ear, wearing a grin that bordered on obscene as he watched goosebumps rise on Charles’ skin from his breath. “I mean, even I wanna know what it’s like to spread her open, sink in slow and feel her clench around me.”

Charles’ eyes opened, a slow smile forming on his lips. That look returned—the one that always appeared when he already had something in mind… or someone.

“Oh no… that face’s got trouble written all over it,” Carlos whispered, brushing his thumb slowly, deliberately across Charles’ lips. “Let me guess… that pretty little brain of yours just cooked up some idea, didn’t it?”

He nodded, parting his lips slightly, a soft breath escaping as he shivered under the touch.

“Maybe…” he murmured, voice deep and playful. Carlos looked at him like he already knew exactly what he was thinking.

It doesn’t even take you a day to uncover the Monegasque’s twisted plan. All it takes is seeing him grinning from ear to ear every time you go somewhere together—the truth gives itself away. He’s not exactly a master at hiding what goes on in that head of his, and you can tell by the way Carlos keeps throwing glances his way in the media pen, while both of them continue giving interviews after the race.

They weren’t even trying to hide it.

Suddenly, you pinch his arm, pulling him out of his bubble of fantasies and forcing all his attention on you. “Ow! What the hell’s your problem…?”

You don’t let him finish; you just flash him a mischievous smile, raising your brows in amusement. “My problem? No, babe, what’s yours? You’re looking at him like a total idiot. Spill it—what happened?”

“Nothing…” he replies, but he quickly gives up. It’s impossible to lie to you when you’re looking at him like that, with eyes that clearly don’t believe a word he says. “Okay, fine… yeah. But I can’t tell you here.”

Now you’re even more confused. You don’t get the secrecy. Was it really that hard to just say “we fucked”? Because that’s exactly what you were starting to suspect happened. And the worst part? The thought gave you a sharp pang of jealousy. Though you weren’t sure if it was because of Carlos… or Charles.

But it’s the Spaniard who approaches you, leaving you nearly breathless with how calmly and deliberately he moves. To anyone else, it just looks like a casual conversation between three people. Who would suspect something else was brewing in the middle of that seemingly innocent gathering?

“Didn’t your boyfriend tell you already?” he asks, shamelessly slinging an arm around your shoulders. Your cheeks instantly flush red with embarrassment. You’re about to blurt out, “he’s not my boyfriend, for fuck’s sake,” but you hold your tongue, deciding to let him talk. “You didn’t tell her, babe?”

“I was gonna!” Charles replies, rolling his eyes with a crooked little smirk, clearly amused by your confusion. “Carlos and I were thinking—”

“No, just you. You were the one thinking with that dirty brain of yours,” Carlos cuts in, arms crossed—though the gleam in his eyes betrays the fact that he’s not nearly as annoyed as he pretends to be.

It was maddening. Not only did you have no clue what they were talking about, but they seemed to enjoy the game—keeping you out, speaking in half sentences. Like you weren’t even there. Like they found it amusing to see you lost.

“Oh my god, let me talk, will you?” Charles snaps, clearly impatient, though his tone stays more playful than serious. He shoots Carlos a quick glance, then looks back at you. “Carlos and I wanted to…”

But he doesn’t finish the sentence.

It’s Carlos who breaks the silence, his voice firm and almost indifferent. He looks you straight in the eyes, without a hint of nerves or regret, as if it were no big deal.

“We wanted to have a threesome.”

“Oh…” The air gets stuck in your lungs. For a moment, you’re not sure you heard right. Your mind tries to process it, but Carlos’ dry, straightforward tone leaves no room for doubt. He meant it. And the worst part? Neither of them looks the slightest bit sorry.

“‘Oh’? That’s your answer, amor? C’mon—yes or no, spit it out,” he murmurs with a teasing tone that sends shivers down your spine and sparks a flicker of desire inside you.

Your cheeks burn a deep red as you answer, voice firm yet shaky,

“Yeah…”

Carlos smirks wickedly and, with fingers both gentle and deliberate, lifts your chin to lock eyes with you, gaze blazing.

“Buena chica.”

Then he steps away like nothing happened—like he didn’t just leave you with trembling legs, a racing heart, and heat pooling between your thighs, imagining every detail of what had just happened… and what could come next.

They were you and him, as always, in that hotel room somewhere. This time, in Canada. For the last thirty minutes, he had been fingering you without stopping. His words were harsh, full of desire and provocation. He had you on the bed, legs spread, his fingers buried deep inside your pussy, making every touch burn you from within. And you only thought about how long it would take Carlos to arrive to give you the second part of this warm-up that had you on the edge.

“You two can’t even go ten minutes without touching each other, right?” The voice interrupts the moment. You. Because Charles doesn’t even flinch. You open your eyes and see him standing there in front of you, arms crossed, with a look that’s part amused, part annoyed. “Relax, he gave me a card to get in.”

Charles smiles like it’s nothing, not stopping his rhythm. The most disconcerting thing is that he keeps fingering you with the same calmness he uses to speak. He has three fingers inside you, completely soaked, sliding with a precision that makes you arch your back. He moves them with total control: pushing in, twisting, pulling out, then pushing deeper again, hitting exactly where he knows it unravels you.

“How inconvenient,” he murmurs with that deep voice that heats your body. “You should’ve arrived more than half an hour ago. We couldn’t keep waiting…”

Your breathing goes wild; orgasm is dangerously close. Waves of pleasure flow through you nonstop, making you arch your back while broken moans escape your lips. You don’t even care anymore about being half-naked in front of Carlos. And clearly, he doesn’t either.

He watches you calmly, as if he has all the time in the world to admire you. Your legs open, your clothes a mess, your breasts barely covered. You are pure chaos, and yet, you look perfect like that: soaked, trembling, exposed.

“If you want her to cum… touch her clit,” Carlos says as he sits next to Charles on the bed, shamelessly watching his fingers firmly entering and exiting you. “It’ll be easier. She’s probably so swollen she barely needs a touch.”

It feels strange how they talk about you out loud, like you’re a thing. Not invisible… but not quite human either. Like you’re just there to be used, admired, pushed to the limit.

“I know,” Charles replies, not taking his eyes off your face. Then he pulls his three fingers out all at once, slow as they come out, wet, shining from how soaked you are. The emptiness shakes you immediately; you feel your body instinctively contract, searching for what’s no longer there. “I just wanted her to last a little longer.”

Carlos firmly grabs Charles’s wrist and guides his fingers to his mouth, without asking, without hesitation. He opens his lips and wraps them around each finger with his tongue, licking slowly, savoring every wet trace they carry from you. He sucks shamelessly, wanting to extract every last drop of your taste, and when he releases them, he licks his lips with closed eyes and a clearly hungry expression.

You climb onto the bed on your knees, moving closer to them, completely surrendered. Charles reaches out urgently, stripping every piece of clothing still hanging from your body with a mix of anxiety and desire. Carlos doesn’t even help; he’s too focused on staring at your breasts. Your nipples, hard from excitement, hypnotize him. He didn’t need to check to know you were wet… but he would anyway. He wanted to dive into that heat, taste every drop, hear you moan with parted lips and trembling body.

He also wanted Charles to do it.

It’s Carlos’s hands that calmly slide down his clothes, removing them with the same familiarity he’s done so many times. His eyes are fixed on him as he undresses him, and his lips glide to his shoulders, leaving slow, almost possessive kisses.

Charles lets it happen, smiling with that disarming confidence, and meanwhile, he pulls your shirt off over your head, as if everything were perfectly synchronized.

You moan softly when his thumbs brush your nipples, teasing them until they harden. You stay sitting on the bed, legs spread, while they watch you from the edge, standing, devouring you with their eyes.

Carlos doesn’t take his eyes off you. They’re lit up, full of desire, although his lips still get lost on Charles’s neck. Until he kneels in front of you without saying a word, holding your hips and pushing you a little more toward the center of the bed. His face buries without hesitation between your thighs, kissing, licking, breathing you in, as if he needed to taste you to survive.

Charles moves behind you, his gaze just as fiery as Carlos’s. He sits on the bed and pulls you onto his lap, settling you against him. His hands grip your thighs and spread them wider, leaving you completely exposed. He holds you there—open for Carlos—offering him the view of everything he’s about to devour.

“Fuck… you’ve got such a pretty pussy,” the Spaniard mutters, his tongue dragging slowly along the sides of your swollen folds, not slipping between them just yet. The way his breath hits you—hot and close—and the teasing swipe of his tongue has you moaning, already desperate for more.

Charles lowers his hand slowly, like he’s really enjoying every second. His fingers trace your soaked folds until you’re completely open. With two fingers shaped like a “V,” he gently parts your lips, showing your clit completely. “So pretty… and so damn wet,” he murmurs, rubbing it with his fingertip in slow circles, knowing exactly how to mess you up.

You’re a mess of moans. Your legs keep shaking as Carlos finally runs his tongue all over your pussy, from top to bottom, tasting you eagerly. He starts slow, enjoying every drop, every reaction from you. Then he circles your clit with his tongue, playing with it so perfectly it takes your breath away—right as Charles carefully pulls back the hood, exposing it even more with his fingertips.

You arch your back involuntarily, gasping, your head resting on Charles’s shoulder. Your moans spiral out of control, and that only seems to turn Carlos on even more. He’s completely hard, his cock pressing taut against the fabric of his pants as he strokes himself with one hand. With the other, he holds your thighs open, pushing his tongue deeper, seeking every sensitive spot inside you until you scream, unable to hold back.

The Monegasque catches you with a wild kiss, his tongue forcefully entering your mouth, as if he wants to possess you from there too, muffling your moans while the other devours you mercilessly, with his wet, hot tongue, desperate to make you tremble again.

Whether you come or not, tears are running down your cheeks from pure pleasure. They’re taking you so far that you don’t even know if you’re crying from how good it feels, from too much, or from something you can’t even put into words.

“Fuck… you’re so damn sensitive, mon amour,” Charles teases in your ear, his voice low and dripping with desire. Carlos looks up from between your legs, and you can see the satisfied shine in his eyes. He’s loving every single second.

“You and I both know you go crazy having a mouth between your legs,” he whispers from behind, brushing a strand of hair off your face with fake tenderness, as your head falls back, giving in on his shoulder. “And you know damn well how much we love eating you out for hours… until you break.”

His fingers close firmly around your nipples, twisting them, making you moan uncontrollably. Carlos doesn’t stop: his tongue moves mercilessly between your swollen folds, licking, sucking, pushing with the tip exactly where you need it most. He sends shivers through you with every movement, while Charles plays with your breasts, nibbling your neck, whispering dirty things in your ear.

The combination is brutal. Your body arches between them, trembling, moans escaping without restraint. You’re so close you can hardly think. The only thing that exists are their mouths, their hands, and that burning desire consuming you from within.

But before you could react, Carlos stopped completely. He left you hanging on the edge, burning, moans caught in your throat and your body trembling with unsatisfied desire. You fell against Charles’s chest, surrendered, sobbing, completely wrapped in the frustration of pleasure that never came.

They both laughed at you, mercilessly, enjoying seeing you like this: vulnerable, needy, desperate.

“Desperate slut,” Carlos murmured with a dirty smile before grabbing you firmly by the waist and spinning you around, placing you on your knees and hands, completely ready.

Your face was barely inches from Charles’ cock, so hard it throbbed in front of you, and so wet that a drop of pre-cum brushed your chin.

‘Fuck…’ he moaned, tracing the tip along your lips, marking them with his wetness, leaving a shiny trail on your chin. ‘I’ve been wanting to see you like this all week… on your knees, exactly where you belong.’

“I’ve been imagining how your pussy’s gonna feel for three months,” he growls, watching you shiver under his touch. “And if you squeeze like that with just your fingers… damn, I can’t wait to feel you all over.”

The younger of the two sinks all the way down your throat, making you choke out a moan. Your tongue moves desperately, licking every corner, while saliva gathers and drips down his cock, wet and shining. His hands tangle in your hair, gripping tightly to set the pace and take your mouth mercilessly. Your eyes fill with tears as you struggle to take it all in.

Behind you, the older one pushes his way between your soaked folds. He goes deep, and your walls wrap around him tightly, warm and narrow, swallowing every inch. You moan with ragged breath, but can barely make a sound with your mouth so full.

The image is so delicious that the Monegasque in front of you completely loses himself, entranced, and fucks your mouth with more hunger—faster, deeper.

“Guess she sucks it better than you, huh?” Carlos throws with a teasing grin, looking at Charles just to provoke him.

And as the words leave his mouth, he drives into you with savage force — so deep he slams right into that perfect, aching spot inside you with every thrust. The rhythm is relentless, merciless; you’re gasping for air, legs shaking uncontrollably, your whole body burning with heat. Moans catch in your throat, strangled and desperate, while flashes of white explode behind your eyelids.

Charles is just as far gone. His eyes stay locked on yours as his cock plunges into your mouth — wet, hungry, hot — fucking your mouth like he needs to consume you. He groans, shameless and rough, his sweat dripping from his forehead, veins bulging along his forearms as he holds you in place. His lips are parted, panting, completely at the mercy of your mouth.

And still, he laughs — low, breathless, like he’s got all the time in the world to ruin you.

“And guess what… you don’t fuck her like I do, mon amour.”

His tone is full of challenge, and it only makes everything burn hotter. Carlos thrusts harder, deeper, determined to prove the other wrong. He wants to show you that you’re no one else’s but his. And your body doesn’t fight it—clenching tight, trembling around him until it drains him completely.

You’re a mess. You cry, mouth full, as the orgasm shakes you so hard you feel like it’s breaking you from the inside. You can barely breathe, and amid that overwhelming pleasure, you feel Carlos coming inside you too, filling you up until his heat spills over your thighs.

Your cum mixes with Carlos’s inside you, filling you to the limit, so much that you start dripping uncontrollably. When Charles cum in your mouth as well, you do your best to swallow it all, though keeping your composure is hard. You’re completely wrecked, feeling used, surrendered, and consumed by both. You fall onto the mattress, your body trembling like a leaf, exhausted and vulnerable.

“What a beautiful mess,” Carlos says with a defiant smile. “So dirty and full.”

Carlos grabs Charles by the arm and pulls him firmly against his body. You turn around, lying on your back and still weak, while watching. Carlos lunges at Charles with a ravenous kiss, a tangle of tongues fighting for control, though it’s Carlos who dominates. His hands grip the Monegasque’s nape tightly, forcing him to surrender without protest.

The younger one pulls away, gasping with heavy breaths, but the other doesn’t let go of the back of his neck and pushes him hard between your legs, giving a clear order: to clean you up with his tongue.

He doesn’t stop. His tongue traces every inch of your open pussy, licking hungrily, seeking to erase every trace of cum, devouring you as if nothing else existed.

You’re so sensitive that tears spring to your eyes immediately, but that doesn’t stop him. His eyes, intense and beautiful, burn against your skin as they lock onto you with a mix of desire and fascination. His tongue cleans you up eagerly, exploring you and trying to soak up every corner. Carlos’s hand doesn’t leave his head, holding it gently while pressing it to sink even deeper.

The other hand slowly slid down to caress him, grazing his cock with a calculated slowness that made him feel tortured, unable to resist that sensation. “Keep going like that, baby…” he insisted in a firm voice, while a mix of desire and vulnerability made them feel on the verge of breaking, as if any movement could unleash everything.

“Carlos…” he moaned, his voice broken and heavy with desire, barely lifting his head while his mouth trembled, wet and eager. The slow pace was consuming him, like a torture that tore at his skin and set every nerve in his body on fire. His body screamed for intensity, for urgency, for a passion that slipped away with every passing second. “I can’t… keep like this… I need more…”

His hand quickens its movements, though only slightly. The scene amuses him: seeing him so desperate while you burn with need, longing to feel him between your thighs again. “You stop, I stop,” he warns in a firm voice, releasing him for just a second. “And you know I will.”

After that cruel threat, he buries his head against you with twice the force, driven by the certainty that his effort will be richly rewarded if he does it right. He feels you writhe beneath his weight, while your hand rests on Carlos’s; both press firmly, driving his head deeper and deeper against your pussy.

As he gives himself with force, Carlos responds with his hand, his movements faster and longer, tracing every inch. You feel the vibrations of Charles’s moans escaping between his lips, resonating against your skin, shaking you from within. That deep, low sound full of desire takes you straight to the edge, consuming you in an uncontrollable fire.

“That’s it, fuck. You take it so damn well… buen chico,” Carlos growls, his voice thick with desire as he watches his hand glide fast and firm along all of Charles’s cock. The heat under his palm, now soaked with precum, pulls a sly grin from him. He’s so close he can feel Charles’s shaky breath, the slight tremble in his thighs, and the wet, steady sound of his movements just turns him on even more.

He’s not the only one, because you can clearly feel your orgasm about to erupt on his tongue. Though focused on his own pleasure, he doesn’t lose rhythm or intensity; he licks you with ravenous precision, without pause, until you’re left completely dry and trembling.

And finally, you give in under his lips, surrendering completely. Your orgasm bursts against your stomach for the third time with an almost unfamiliar intensity — a wave that crashes through you and drags you under, leaving you completely wrecked, spent, and breathless, lying on the mattress that seems to hold every last sigh you let out.

With exhaustion still pulsing through your skin, you watch with sleepy eyes as the same thing happens to the Monegasque. He reaches his limit too, spilling into Carlos’s hand until he’s completely spent. Normally, his drive would push him to keep going, to stretch the moment a little longer, but this time fatigue wins. Carlos feels it right away, senses the subtle shift in his breathing, the looseness in his body. He gently turns, lying on his side to wrap his arms around him, pulling his vulnerable body close to his chest like he’s offering shelter and comfort.

He holds him with tenderness, whispering words of encouragement, telling him how well he did, his voice calm and full of admiration. That deep, quiet connection they shared seemed to form a world of its own — one that, for a moment, you felt you didn’t quite belong in.

Charles rests his head against Carlos’s chest, eyes closed, his face showing relief and comfort. The older one runs his fingers slowly through his hair, soft and careful, like he’s putting every piece of him back together. It was their silent after care ritual — a gesture full of care that spoke louder than a thousand words.

You, however, feel a wave of shyness and embarrassment rise in you, your cheeks flushing deep red. Being there, caught in the middle of something so intimate, makes you feel like an intruder — a misplaced detail in an otherwise perfect picture.

But then Carlos turns his gaze to you, and in his eyes you see something different — a warm, gentle smile that wraps around you without demand. He reaches out a hand and murmurs in a low, almost secretive voice, “Come here, cariño.” That simple invitation turns your blush into something softer — sweet and filled with emotion.

Without thinking twice, you let his free arm pull you in, resting your head on the open space of his chest, right beside Charles. The steady beat of his heart surrounds you with calm and safety, like a warm haven washing away any lingering fear or doubt. That mix of peace, tenderness, and connection settles into you — perfect and unrepeatable.

It was simply perfect.

[skrunksthatwunk]

an unfortunate part of my genderfluidity/multigenderness is its fundamental skittishness. if you've ever put oil in water it's like that. hydrophobic ass gender. you cannot use any definite or indefinite labels in any direction at all. if some poor well-meaning schmuck calls me a girl it'll say im not a girl and inject me with the dysphoria poison. if someone says im not a girl it'll say i am and inject me with the dysphoria poison. if someone says im only kinda sorta a girl it'll say i am a girl fuck you and inject me with the dysphoria poison. etc etc rinse and repeat with every singular gender identity. it's so stupid. i'll be like im a big strong man >:) and my friends'll be like yeah you're a man and i'll be like well......... no........... not really...... you just don't understand............. no one understands............. and no one even sees me accurately it's so depressing................ i should stop going outside forever and ever..................... like god dude i know it's annoying but i can't help it. you are doing your best because you love me but unfortunately my gender is a free little butterfly that disintegrates when you try to pin it down i don't fucking know. inconvenient little faggot shit happening in my brain all the goddamn time. lord have mercy

[moregraceful]

this is great. not only have i not done dishes or showered, i also made myself mad about something that happened several years ago AND entertained a beautiful alternate universe in which warso specifically was leaving the prompts that made me lose my mind AND got into an argument about ko over whether i count as an x reader girl on staff of [redacted]. i love the san jose sharks and they love me.

honestly awesome that brodie brazil handed me something to be dramatic about. i was just complaining that i was sleepy but i'm not allowed to nap or i won't sleep for a 2nd night in a row and was listing options of activities, but this is much better. love to be baited by a former nbc broadcaster into posting

[waytootiredstudent]

Okay alright sorry for all the sudden German politics influx but lemme explain what happened so far and why Germans are losing it a bit:

The tldr? Our government is getting a divorce and it's turning messy with elections being called early and now being called even earlier.

The longer version?

Okay so, groundwork first:

in Germany there is a coalition currently in power called the Ampel(traffic lights) bc the colours of the party are red, yellow and green (or not anymore or for much longer??). They're centrist slightly more left leaning than right leaning. (You could argue about that I am aware). There has been infighting for as long as this coalition has been going on. It is also the first three party coalition since y know, the Last Time.

So. Enough groundwork. The yellow party (FDP) has a finance minister (Christiane Lindner) it's this guy

You will see him in memes I am sure. We don't like him. He's an asshole and has blocked every meaningful change that the coalition had been trying to accomplish. He also got his finance plan blocked by our highest court because parts were against our Constitution.

(.... I am oversimplifying hard here it's actually more complicated than that and not fully his fault, but it's also not the focus)

What WAS the fault though of him and the FDP was that they had a strong position of "saving money at all costs" which made bigger and bigger rifts with the two other coalition partners who were more leaftleaning. The war in Ukraine, Infrastructure, climate change - there were many places that needed more money and Lidner was like naaahhhhh for no fucking reason other than "oh we need to save money!!"

Long story short there have been arguing all the fucking time and therefore have started to lose approval. Drastically lose approval. As on for the first time since the Last Time there is a far right party in charge for part of the country that is also being investigated for being Nazis. (Oversimplifying again).

Which is. Worrying. You know. Especially with Trump now being elected. It has us all a little skittish.

The finance minister has also now been fired.

You see. We were all still trying to stomach Trump winning the US election, when Scholz, in the same fucking evening, fired Lindner.

And not in a polite way. Nah. Olaf fucking Scholz our Chancellor, notorious for saying literally nothing, and with a running joke that he regularly stops existing bc that man Does Not Take Stances, a spine of wet cardboard, delivered this yesterday evening:

(English subtitles by me you already got this far watch it I spent too much time on this lol)

And it is insane alright. For his standards and German politic standards thats the equivalent of calling Lindner a egomaniacal bitch that has only his self interest at heart and can not be trusted.

Lindner and his party have been pulverised in all recent elections. Which means that after he was fired, the FDP completely withdrew from the coalition and all minister from the FDP resigned.

....well all but one who apparently stayed in his positions because he's leaving the FDP over this. What sort of shitty backstabbing kindergarten fight is this. (Jokes aside hes the minister of transportation and says he needs to stay in office in important projects. Which. True. Having minister resigning en mass is not good)

Alright cool cool cool cool. Current situation yesterday is the following:

So. Trump is president. Fuck.

Lindner got fired! Yaaay!

Wait my goverment is now also falling apart! Fuck.

Which all lead to new elections being called in Germany.

Mind you, that's not usual ok. I know other countries have systems where they can call an election whenever but that is not a thing that normally happens here. We have a schedule alright. (Insert obligatory "Germans and their plans and structure" joke)

So new elections are called for spring, nearly a year early. Cool cool cool. With a right wing rising in Germany and deeply unpopular current leadership. On the eve of motherfucking trump getting elected.

Habeck, leader of the green party and one of the few policians in germany I think is vaguely liked by ppl (the general attitude in German politics is less "I like this guy" and more "you are the least shitty choice I guess") has appearently also nearly started crying after the news broke. So. Yeah.

Now. Let's make this shitshow complete,alright?

There is this party. CDU. They had been in charge for a very long time in Germany. Centrist, right leaning, with the afd on the rising even more right leaning than before. Their current leader is Friedrich Merz, as unpleasant as human beings can go.

He has now called for the new election to be not in a few months but like. To be called next week.

In the current climate.

So yeah. if you're German mutuals and friends are currently going through their own stages of grief - this is why.

[cinnamanz]

# HEAD OVER HEELS .ᐟ — yu jimin

pairing — yu jimin x female reader

after most of her relationships ending up in heartbreak, jimin foolishly swore to never fall in love again. you, of course, just had to charm her.

"god, what the fuck am i doing here?" truly, jimin didn't know how she got here, getting dragged out of her bed and thrown in minjeong's back seat like some modern day kidnapping. “of all places?”

minjeong only sends her a small smile, eyes flitting over to where the school's volleyball team warmed up before the last match of the regionals. "you needed to get out of bed. thank me later."

jimin rolls her eyes as ningning and aeri arrive with popcorn in hand, passing them to a beaming minjeong along with her wallet. "oh, you're here! what a miracle!"

"oh, please." jimin shrugs off a laughing aeri, while ningning scans the older's outfit, baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, along with her glasses and hair pulled up into a messy bun.

ningning clears her throat. "so... how- how are you dealing with all... this?" the break-up was recent, a mere two days ago, and clearly, jimin wasn’t taking it well. everyone around her treaded carefully with the situation and handled it like a fragile piece of glass, and she’d had enough.

“shit. but i— ugh, i don’t want to talk about it right now.” jimin responded, noting how the court in front of her was the finals game of the volleyball season, the famed university they went to playing against their notorious rival. “let’s just watch this. that’s why you brought me here.”

minjeong nodded in understanding, though the rest of the girls seemed concerned and stared at her for about a few seconds before following suit, ningning already reaching in the bowl of popcorn in her hand, before passing it along. “who do you think’s going to win?”

minjeong hummed as she grabbed a handful of popcorn while aeri scrolled through her phone, snapping a quick photo of the court and posting it on her story. “i think we’ve got this in the bag. we did well throughout the season.”

“mm, but we’re talking about—” as the two droned on about volleyball, jimin couldn’t help but be zoned in on the player with her hair up into a ponytail, swept back tightly as the ball between her hands spun and was sent flying through the air and across the other side of the court, a loud bang echoong in the gym.

“hey, who is that?” the words have left her mouth before she could fully realise that she’d stood up from her seat and leaned over the railing, peering down at the player.

“hm? oh, her?” a small smile stretched itself across minjeong’s lips. “that’s y/n kim. vice captain of the volleyball team and right-side hitter. she’s got a mean right arm.”

“huh.”

“why, interested in her?” aeri’s voice pipes up as her eyes raked over jimin’s figure that leant over the railing, looking wholly interested in the warm-up session. “i’ll give it to you, jimin. you’ve got great taste. but… y/n, hmm, how do i put this? y/n is kind of your cliché jock. she’s real sweet though.”

ningning’s lips puckered into an ‘o’ shape, fingers snapping. “oh, right! you had that month long situationship!”

jimin raised a brow. “you did? how come i’m only hearing about this now?”

ningning flashes a sheepish smile. “well, we kind of were keeping it in the down-low.” god, this was interesting. but jimin would rather die than admit that she’d found ningning’s situationship with you (who she thinks is quite attractive) morbidly intriguiing. the girl’s had a lot of them, so why should the one with you be any different?

“see, the whole time we were talking—”

“heads!”

oh, shit.

pacing in front of the nurse’s office with your bottom lip stuck between your teeth, you couldn’t help but grimace at the sight of the nurse’s ice pack pressed on the back of jimin’s head. god, you did damage.

“i am so, so, sorry. i didn’t mean to hit you, nor did i know that the ball was going to bounce off the floor too hard and hit you on the back of your head.” you’d rushed out in a breath, all panicked and— it’s kinda cute.

“it’s fine.” jimin had dismissed your words like it was nothing, which it probably was or she was just so sick of your antsy behaviour and the hit on her head had taken a massive toll on her that she wasn’t bothered at all to do anything about the forming lump on her skin. ouch.

“really. calm down.” god, who knew that when minjeong had dragged her out of the house and flung her into her backseat that she’d end up sitting in the nurse’s office longer than she’d stayed at the gym.

“i’m just— this has never happened before and i feel so bad because it looked like it hurt and—”

“—y/n, calm down. i’m fine. you need to take deep breaths.” what was meant to be a simple statement ended up with the other girl obeying, earning a raised brow from her. why are you obedient? it was odd, or maybe she’s just been around too much distasteful mem that such a simple action made her heart warm.

“i’ll stay here with you until you’re feeling better.” you’d mumbled after taking deep breaths, pulling up a chair and sitting near the edge of the chair.

“what? you’re going to miss the game! and it’s against our rival school—”

“— it’s fine. i’d rather look after someone i injured than play against those egotistical bastards.” your eyes are sparkling and oh my god why do you look like a golden retriever? no wonder aeri had interest in you.

she huffs. “fine. have it your way.”

your team ended up losing that night by just a smidge. though, on the bright side, you got a pretty girl’s number!

“this is the third time this week.”

“maybe she likes you.”

“or she feels bad about hurting you?”

“no, i think it’s because she likes jimin.”

“guys, please.” jimin raises a hand to quiet to girls, shoving the chocolate box and flowers in her bag as she slammed her locker shut, hastily speedwalking down the hallway.

“hey— jimin, wait up!” the three struggled to keep up with jimin’s pace, who was seemingly eager to get out of school the moment the bell rang, feet gliding across the polished floors like a woman on a mission. which she was, in a way.

“why are you walking so fast—”

oh, you’re there. oh god, you’re there.

you leant on the side of your motorcycle, looking like every other walking toxic red flags yet something from the way you’d perked up upon seeing her enter your line of vision made you a whole lot distinguishable from the rest.

“jimin!” oh, god. oh, hell no. god, you smell good. wait, you’re right in front of her?! “care for a ride?” and how is she supposed to say no to that?

you’d been driving around for twenty minutes now, her arm still wound tightly around your waist as she pressed her body against your back, heart pounding harshly against her ribcage and she couldn’t differentiate if it was from the fast pace that you’re cruising the highway on or from the lack of promixity between your bodies.

after what seemed like ages, you’d come to a slow stop and her arms slowly unravelled around your mid-section, standing on wobbly legs as she struggled to hold in the puke from the fast speed. oh god, jimin. keep it in.

she was too busy trying to keep her lunch in her stomach that she’d failed to notice you setting up a picnic under the tree that overlooked the hill they were on, shooting her an oh-so-sweet smile that she’d flopped onto the fabric like a fish out of water.

god, the view was gorgeous. “uh, i brought you here because i still feel bad about hitting you with that volleyball.” you don’t really beat about the bush, huh? “and i was hoping that bringing you here and asking if i could continue to keep giving you flowers and chocolates would make up for that night?”

jimin blinks, the situation all too sudden yet somehow exhilarating with the way you were practically *fussing* over her while she’s too busy flushing and struggling to get ahold of her shit. “i, uh, sure.”

“great!” there’s that smile.

days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and oh, before jimin knew it, she’s horribly head over heels for you. no wonder you attracted so many people. you were so incredibly addicting that once she got a taste, she couldn’t get enough.

fuck. no, no, no, no. she can’t fall in love again. no, it’ll just end up like last time. no, but you’re so sweet, and nice, and caring— but the last guys were like you too. the only difference is, you’re not a guy. you’re not some foolish guy who’ll play around with her feelings and give her false hope. you’re actually considerate, and you actually care about what she thinks, and you actually put her first for once in her life.

god, this is quite literally the bare minimum and, what the fuck is that beeping?

jimin heaves a deep gasp and wakes up, body taut as she sat up hastily on the bed, space empty beside her, wide eyes blinking as she was left to simmer in silence before tears built up in her eyes and oh, she’s crying. were you all just a dream?

the door creaks open and you walked in, dressed in the baggy pyjama she’d bought you a few months ago for your birthday, your lips parting for a yawn that was interrupted upon seeing her figure swaddled in blankets that stood frozen like a deer caught in headlights, tears drying just a bit. “jimin?”

you were here. you were here with her, with your arms wrapped around her body and comforting her, whispering the sweetest of nonsense as she melted against you. christ, she’s horribly head over heels.

guys i'm not gna lie to yall rn but idek what this oneshot what supposed to be. i js like of sat on the couch and js started typing whatever came to mind.

masterlist.

[thepersonnamedsam]

grin to win - the genz!driver

pairing: the genz!driver x 24!grid (pre and during singapore)

summary: it’s the gzd first ever win, but getting there was a bumpy road

word count: 4.3k

warning: not proof read and some angst, talks about not feeling enough and all that

note: i am so sorry for not having updated in such a long time, i do hope you still like my stuff :)

masterlist / taglist

it has been weeks since our beloved gen-z driver has had a positive experience. silly season started earlier than she thought - daniel was rumoured to be dropped soon. max hasn’t won for a long time, she wasn’t sure if that’s positive or negative, but she feels sorry for her favourite dutch. carlos finally announced he’s signed with williams.

oh, and logan’s been dropped.

oliver is driving for haas next year. mclaren overtook redbull in the constructors championship. lando has started his transition to mad-lando (get it? because he’s starting to drive like mad-max? anyway). kimi signed with mercedes.

but there weren’t any news surrounding y/n. nothing negative, but also nothing positive. no rumours of her signing with a new team, or staying at her current team. her contract will run out at the end of the season.

she hasn’t heard from her team ceo or principal yet. she wasn’t underperforming, no she’s just performing as expected. but also not doing better.

she needed that something. that something that reassured her, that she’s in the right place. she needed at least a podium this season. that’s what she was telling herself for the last weeks. beating herself up, every time she didn’t perform well enough (in her eyes, we have to say. because if you looked at it from a neutral view, she was doing more than fine).

the stress has been eating her up. she was staying longer at the gym, eating less, seeing the guys less, not seeing her friends or family. even her boyfriend broke up with her, because she’s been ignoring him and focusing too much on her racing.

lewis was the first one to suspect something, knowing this behaviour all to well from himself. but he didn’t know what to do. should he ask her about it or say something to someone professional?

the first thing he did was tell george. george usually knew what to do. except this time.

„lew, im sorry man, i don’t know what do do“, he sighed and looked over to his teammate. „we could just tell the principal, but i don’t know if we‘ll brake her trust this way.“

„she just needs to see, that she’s good enough, i know that that’s the issue she’s having right now“, said lewis to george.

the taller one just shrugged, „maybe we should just, you know, talk to her“, he suggested.

lewis agreed, but he was sure, that he was the wrong person to talk to y/n. that’s why he called seb.

and as her phone started to ring and her favourite picture of her and seb appeared on her screen, she instantly knew, that someone noticed her weird behaviour. why else would sebastian call during race week?

with a heavy sigh she picked up her phone and tried to sound as happy as possible as she said: „hi seb! what’s going on?“

the german scrunched up his face as he heard the rather happy voice of the young girl. „hi there, pretty lady. i heard you’ve been absent lately“, he said softly.

the moment y/n heard her current situation from someone else, her tears fell. she didn’t think that it’d effect her this much, someone knowing what’s been going on lately, but it did.

„how do you know?“, she sniffled. her cries broke sebs heart, he could only imagine how his daughter’s future teenage cries would take him out.

„a birdie noticed and told me, hun.“ - „who was it? tell me it wasn’t my ex, because that bloody pig told me, if i couldn’t care enough about him, he wouldn’t care about me and if he called you, that means he’d still care about me and that would only make me feel more guilt over the whole situation“, y/n started to ramble.

„hey hey, no, it wasn’t him“, seb stopped her rambling. „i won’t tell you who, im just gonna tell you, as someone standing on the sidelines, you’re doing more than fine, okay?“

she shook her head no, even though the retired driver couldn’t see her. „no im not, everybody’s getting to sign their new contract or has been rumoured to be let go, but nothings happening with me“, she sighed.

seb told her, that this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, that teams usually like to torture their drivers to see how far they’re willing to push. and that she just had to let the team get to her and not assume anything.

„but what if it’s like the situation with daniel? or logan? what if it’s the same with me?“

„then so be it, you can come to switzerland for a few weeks, we‘ll forget the whole thing and organise something new, it’s as easy as that“, seb told her.

„and honestly, y/n, you’re not being dropped, or rumours would have already been going around. as i said, just go with the flow.“

that’s what she tried. she tried to engage more with the other drivers. she tried to enjoy little things like eating chocolate.

she started to regularly talk with seb and talk about her feelings and worries - which helped her a lot.

and as time flew by, she got back into her zone. back into that racing mode, back into the fight.

it was singapore, hot and humid, but she was ready to fight. right before qualifying lewis visited her garage. looking relieved to see her spirits back where they belong.

„kiddo, you ready?“, he asked. y/n grinned at him and threw two thumps up. „good“, he murmured.

„good luck!“, he shouted. „you too, you’re gonna need it with my pace“, she laughed back.

„i hope so“, whispered the mercedes driver. „i really hope so.“

y/n sat in her car, she felt that something good would be happening. she never felt this ready for qualifying before.

q1 and q2 went by as a breeze. her lap times were phenomenal, she’s done better, but they were still great. easing into q3 with a good feeling and good lap times.

„y/n, you’ve been doing great out there, don’t push yourself too much, okay? i’ll tell you when to give it your all. we’re going for the front row“, her race engineer told her.

front row, that was really something.

„you think we can do it?“, she asked nervously. „i think that you can do it.“

with that statement she drove out of the garage onto the track. driving some laps to warm up her tyres. feeling the track and the car. she took a deep breath in and let it out and waited for her race engineer to giver her their sign.

tears stained her cheeks as she got out of the car. everything was blurry. confusion was written on her face. qualifying just ended and she will start the race from p2 on sunday.

she couldn’t believe it, neither could her team or to be honest, every other driver on the grid.

journalist started to surround the garage, friends of the young girl had trouble getting to her. the first one who made it through the masses, was oscar.

as soon as she saw him, she started screaming; „oscar! can you believe it?“

the aussy looked at the girl, or rather young woman, and only grinned at her. „you’re giving me the creeps with that smile, os“, y/n giggled. „you look like the joker, who are you about to murder?“

„the one who’s been making you feel worthless, but that’s a different story“, he half whispered half sighed.

the young driver had to sigh, she knew the other drivers had caught on her emotions. but she didn’t think, that they’d know in this detail.

y/n grinned through the pang and hugged the australian. „thanks for being there for me“, she whispered.

the moment oscar wanted to say something sentimental, his teammate barged through the journalists and jumped on them both.

„i cannot believe it! my best friend, starting front row, my goodness“, he exhaled and inhaled again: „together! we’re starting front row together!“

y/n giggled once again, she felt, that this wasn’t the last giggle of the day. „will you let me pass?“, she asked jokingly.

lando looked shocked: „are you kidding me? nuh-uh, no way in hell will i let you pass, now that im a race winner, you’ll have to earn it fair and square!“

„fair“, oscar laughed. y/n shoved oscar outraged. „you’re on his side?“ - „i am a race winner too, you know?“

„indeed he is“, carlos called from the end of the garage. „oi, this isn’t your garage“, a mechanic of her team shouted, „this isn’t all of you guys‘ garage“, he said, as he realised two more drivers were present.

„let’s go, we‘re going to some hospitality or something“, y/n suggested. with an apologetic look towards the mechanics, the drivers left the garage.

„i’ll update the groupchat and tell them where we are“, lando mumbled. oscar’s and carlos‘ phone dinged, but y/n‘s was left out.

„wait, what groupchat did you text?“, she asked confused. „the one about you’re crisis-“ lando just saw carlos‘ and oscar’s head shacking no, as he slowly finished his sentence, realising his mistake, „-without you in it.“

„what?“ - „lewis and seb created a groupchat, to discuss some tips on how to lift your spirits, s‘all“, oscar slowly explained.

„okay“, said the female driver slowly. „thanks, i guess?“

„wait, so you all knew? i mean i kind of suspected you knowing, but you all knew? and what did you discuss?“

the three drivers thought carefully about their next words. carlos was the first to speak out: „nothing really. lewis just told us, that your behaviour reminded him of himself when he first joined mercedes and seb just told us, that he was talking with you about it and just kind of updated us.“

„y/n you’re very important to all of us, we love you and want you to be well. if somethings going on, we worry about you and want to fix it“, oscar supplemented.

„why didn’t you tell us?“ lando was the last to speak. his voice full of hurt. „oh lando, im sorry, i didn’t want to bother all of you with my shit“, she admitted.

daniel could see the falling tears on her face from far away. he could also see the many cameras realising their existence. he sprinted over to the four, to mainly shield them from the media, but his weird running drew more attention to the drivers.

„hi there, don’t cry, cameras“, he huffed. the little smile came back to y/n‘s face, as she looked at daniel’s red and out of breath face.

„hey i thought you were a high performance athlete?“, she smiled and wiped away her tears. „i am, athletes sweat, baby“, daniel said.

„i heard that that’s your last race, is it true, danny?“, she changed the topic from herself to the smiley australian.

„don’t change the topic, girly“, he smiled sincerely. „there’s no truth, until you get that breaking post on insta.“

„hey, but front row, huh? how nice does it feel?“, he asked her. still on the move, she nearly tripped, not only over her next sentence, but also over a curb; „very good but also kinda scary.“

„i got lando here in front of me and max behind me, just a little bit scary“, she elaborated further.

at the mention of the dutch, he appeared in front of the group suddenly. „i heard my name, what’s going on?“

„i get it, max is scary“, oscar whispered more to himself. „dude, how’d you do that?“, lando asked impressed.

„magic“, max waved his hand in front of his face and laughed. he high five’d y/n next and smiled at the other drivers.

„max is scary when he smiles“, said oscar slow and quietly towards lando, who agreed soundlessly. „hey, watch it“, max then pointed out.

on the other side, daniel was standing close to y/n, studying every twitch on her face. looking at carlos they silently communicated. the older two each grabbed a hand of hers and pulled her towards the next hospitality.

as usual, lando, max and oscar didn’t notice the other three‘s disappearance.

the two mercedes drivers, fernando and charles were already waiting. as soon as the female driver noticed lewis‘ braids, she sprinted towards him.

he though that she would gleefully hug him, but thought differently. with an angry step she stood in front of him. „how dare you make a groupchat about my feelings!“, she pointed a finger at his chest.

although she was small, she was fearful. her finger digging painfully into his chest, twisting every other second.

the older driver caved under her touch and slouched: „i’m so sorry, i just wanted to help.“

„by creating a groupchat? you could’ve just talked to me“, she sighed. „i know, but i thought i wasn’t the right person“, he admitted. „lew, you’re always the right person to talk to me“, she smiled lightly, „don’t ever do that again though!“

„okay“, he agreed, „but front row, love! how excited are you?“

and then she explained her thoughts all over again. noticing max not being here to make a scary entrance again. she explained happily, how the dutch suddenly appeared in front of her and how he reminded her of the flying dutch.

george and nando stood there listening to their favourite driver and grinned at her expressions and exclamations. her arms were up in the air, face twisted to match each of her words.

if that young woman would not be like this ever again, they swore to change the whole world for her.

„i’ll miss her“, daniel whispered to lewis. „oh buddy, it’s official then, this your last race?“

daniel nodded: „they have to recruite liam or he’s free to whichever team signs him.“ lewis looked at his friend, they’ve known each other for so long. it‘ll be weird without the australian on the grid.

„does she know?“, he then asked. „no, wouldn’t want to jinx anything and take her spirits away“, daniel hummed. „i get it, you have to tell her after the race though. wouldn’t be fair if she found out through insta.“

oscar, lando and max then trailed in with pierre, alex and charles. looking at the scene in front of them;

y/n telling some sort of story with fernando and george watching them and lewis with daniel standing on the side talking with hushed voices.

„we should celebrate“, lando said out of the blue. the female driver gasped upon hearing the random suggestion and turned around to face her best friend.

„yes, oh my god, that is such a good idea“, she excitedly said. „what should we do?“

charles said, that they could order pizza. pierre disagreed and said, that they should rent out a restaurant and eat authentic food. oscar thinks, that they should treat themselves with some spa time (they think, that lily really has a grip on that man).

lando suggested they’d go to the cinema. carlos said, that they should just go back to the hotel and do a relaxing movie night. lewis suggested they take a stroll with roscoe and leo. max thought some laps on the sim would be enough to celebrate.

george thought, that exploring singapore would be fun. fernando was just happy to tag along. daniel wanted to go swimming somewhere. and y/n, she really wanted to bury her face in ice cream and enjoy the time with her boys.

so that’s what they did. bought loads of ice cream, rented some movies at her hotel, turned her room into a home cinema and ordered some pizza too, just for fun. and of course roscoe had to stay there too.

after all that celebration, y/n was so tired, she fell asleep on fernando. he gushed and ushered the others to take some pics.

after tucking her in, setting the alarm for the next day, they all bid their goodbyes and left y/n alone. except lando - he stayed.

he was her best friend after all and he had to talk about all of the stuff with her. but it could wait until the morning, he was pretty tired himself.

as the alarm clock rang, y/n jolted up, confused as to where she was. seeing her hotel room, she remembered yesterday and what they did. she then felt someone moving beside her, turning around she saw a head full of curls and knew not to worry.

„lando, what are you doing here?“, she giggled. the mclaren driver groaned and stuffed his face into the pillow. „i have to talk about the stuff with you“, he then said.

„and you had to stay here why?“ - „because i knew i wouldn’t catch you before you would leave for the paddock, only logical solution was to stay here with you“, he finally lifted up his head and grinned at his best friend.

she laughed a little and ruffled up his hair. „you’re cute, but we don’t need to talk.“

he shook his head and made some grunting noises, disagreeing with her statement. „but we do, i need to talk about it.“

she told him everything he wanted to know. from the first time she thought she was not enough, to the phone calls with seb and to her feeling better over time.

„just promise me you’ll talk to me next time, okay?“, he begged her at the end of their conversation. she nodded. „say it, say that you’ll talk to me.“ - „i will, i will talk to you, lando, i promise.“

„good, but now, let’s get ready to race“, he grinned and changed the subject. y/n almost forgot, that they had a race to drive. and that she was starting from p2! „let’s go“, she excitedly said.

the day almost went by like a blur. the two arrived at the paddock, parted ways at her garage, bid good luck to each other.

she started her training session? warmed up with her trainer, ate some food, went to the toilet, that’s important. and then she already had to attempt the drivers parade.

she has never felt this nervous before. standing on that wagon, waving to the fans, not wanting to let anyone down, but mostly not herself.

the compulsive thoughts were coming back and she tried to remember what seb taught her. she breathed in for eight seconds, held her breath for seven, breathed out for eight again and held for seven. she repeated the box breathing method and tried to focus on the here and now.

lando saw her struggling to maintain a happy face and went over to her. „s‘all good?“, he asked in a hushed voice.

she nodded softly; „just trying to stay in the moment and not drift too far into the future.“

lando nodded, kind of understanding what she meant and just stayed by her side until the parade was over. as they parted ways for the second time that day, he hugged her and wished her only the best of luck.

her pre-race-ritual was listening to music, so she whipped out her headphones and blasted her loudest music on her playlist.

she almost jumped as her race engineer tapped her shoulder, to inform her that it was time to get into the car.

even though the first half of the day felt sped up, now everything was moving in slow motion.

she felt like james bond or any other action movie hero. her headphones still blasting music, she imagined herself looking total badass getting into her car.

step by step, nodding her head along to the music. arms flung up into the air to squeeze herself into the car. she mouthed some of the words as a mechanic gave her her steering wheel.

slowly she placed it into the socket and clicked it into it. still, everyone was moving in slow motion. she closed her eyes for a second, just trying to find her inner peace.

the music faded, she concentrated on her heartbeat. feeling it slow down, beat per beat. as she opened her eyes, the world was back to normal speed.

she took off her headphones, handed them to someone standing around the car. she lifted up her gloves, put them on and clapped her hands together.

„let’s get going then, ey?“, y/n then said to her crew. no clear answer came back, just some reassuring noises from around.

her helmet was laying in front of her, she looked at her drivers number, traced it with her finger and swiftly put it on.

the car was then rolled on to the track, everything was buzzing. she heard her race engineer checking the coms. hustling around her were all of the mechanics.

y/n went over the track once again. she knew every corner, she felt every bump on the road. her body knew when to turn, when to slow down or speed up. she knew what to do, this was her race.

she proved it by overtaking lando on corner one, lap one. right after the start there was a new race leader and they were called y/n l/n.

a woman was leading a formula one race.

she took off, she didn’t have to think about it, it was all muscle memory.

little did she know, lando was cheering behind her. even max was grinning like a mad man. for once both of them were content with not winning.

history was made on that day. as y/n crossed that finish line she couldn’t believe what was happening.

„y/n l/n, you are a formula one grand prix winner!“, she just heard her race engineer through her coms.

„and there it is, the first woman to win an f1 race, can you believe that we’ve just witnessed history?“

„i cannot, oh this is just fantastic! y/n proved that she could win, even with a mediocre car, just imagine her in a redbull or ferrari. this is beautiful, unbelievable.“

the female drivers head was spinning. what does she have to do now? in her whole career she only had one podium. but she was pumped with adrenaline that moment, she really just can’t recall what she has to do now.

she figured she’d just follow lando in her car and behold, she ended up at parc fermé. parking her car in front of the stand with the number one on it, she climbed out of it.

fuck, what cool pose was she gonna do? she hadn’t thought about that. just, improvise, she thought.

i’d will be embarrassing either way, she thought next. she took out her steering wheel, disconnected her helmet from the car and coms and jumped out of the car.

and then she just fell to her knees. at first sobbing into her helmet and not believing everything that has happened so far.

but the sobs quickly turned into laughter. she bowed, just like sebastian did, in front of her car.

sighing with happiness she stood up from the ground. lando came running to her, scooping her up and basically throwing her around.

„my god, you did it! you really did it!“

that was the actual moment, y/n realised what just had happened. that she had just won a grand prix. that she had just written history. that she had just done it.

max was coming from the other side, almost skipping. when have you ever seen max verstappen skipping?

„oh wow, this must feel so great, huh?“, he asked. „like a mountain falling from my shoulders actually“, she said.

she wanted to say so much more, but she was pulled aside to weigh. that procedure she knew. and then, there was her team, ready to celebrate the young driver.

just like lando, she sprinted towards them and jumped into the team. she was lifted up, chants were heard throughout the whole parc fermé.

„congratulations y/n, i knew you’d write history one day“, her team principal congratulated her.

from the side of her eye she saw christian horner giving her two thumps up. the next moment he mouthed: „let’s talk.“

does this mean? oh my god.

her chain of thoughts were broken, as lando pulled her along in to the cool down room.

she laid her helmet on the pillar and took the pirelli hat from the stand. her heart had finally time to calm down.

max and lando were grinning like crazy, as they approached the young girl woman. „congratulations, y/n, well done, perfect driving, couldn’t have done it better myself“, max told her. „ahhh, we’re both race winners!“, lando then shouted.

„that’s true! oh my god, i can’t believe it, and in the same season, high five!“

„who do i spray with my champagne, you or max?“, she suddenly asked. both men laughed at her question. „you spray whoever you want.“

so that’s what she did. before that, she closed her eyes at the national anthem. quietly sang along. never felt this much pride before. received the trophy and placed it far, far away from lando and shook that chanpagne bottle to spray all of the people present at the podium.

she took a swig of the god awful champagne, she remembered from last time how nasty it tasted. and she held her promise she once had with daniel.

at her first win, she would do a shoey, without any hesitation. she took of her sweaty shoes, sat down on the podium, filled the shoe up to the rim, hopefully the first sip would have the least amount of sweat and just started chugging it.

if you were present that day, you heard daniel ricciardo shouting and yelling at her from parc fermé. his whistling may have been recorded by the cameras, but who knows, the whole world was whistling for her in that moment.

nothing would ever beat that feeling ever again. drenched in sweat and champagne, chugged the mix of it and a heart full of love in that moment. she grinned at her win.

°°°

taglist: i feel like, im not gonna tag anyone for this, bc i haven’t posted in such a long time and i don’t wanna bother anyone…

so if you’re on my taglist and don’t want to be on it anymore, just post a comment under this and i’ll remove you :)

[uss-butterscotch]

Welcome to Part Five! We’re still in the Max interlude, so enjoy :3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

-

Eddie was counting his brief encounter with Max as a win. He figured, based on the argument he had overheard, and her seemingly general disinterest in almost everything, that she would be willing to give up Harrington’s secrets simply because she didn’t care enough to keep them. All he had to do now was formulate a plan to get her to trust him enough to actually talk to him.

The opportunity presented itself on a particularly brisk morning in mid-October. He made it out of the house in time to not be late to first period for once, and he noticed Max leaving out her front door at the same time, skateboard tucked under her arm. She started walking down the gravel driveway out of the trailer park.

“A little late to start walking to school, isn’t it?” He called after her.

She stopped, turning back to him.

“A little early to be harassing underage girls, isn’t it?” she shot back.

Eddie put his hands up in surrender. “Look, all I’m saying is, we’re going to the same place. If you want a ride, my passenger seat’s wide open,” he peeked into the window, “well, it will be as soon as I throw this bag of trash in the back.”

She glared at him for a concerning amount of time, then rolled her eyes and started walking toward the van. Eddie grinned and hopped into the front seat, throwing as much of the random stuff that was currently occupying the shotgun seat into the back.

When he started up the car, the tape he had left in the stereo began blasting through the speakers. Max, upon entering the van, immediately reached over and ejected it.

“Hey!” He said instinctively, “my car, my music.”

He reached to push the tape back in, but Max snatched it before he could. She opened the glove box and threw it in. “My step-brother used to listen to shit like that.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and put the van in reverse, pulling out of the trailer park. “He doesn’t anymore?”

“He’s dead.”

Despite the constant rattling and slight screeching that accompanied the van while it was in motion, the silence that followed was downright suffocating. Eddie remembered his conversation a few weeks ago with the freshmen of Hellfire. He felt like simultaneously the world’s biggest idiot and asshole.

“Oh shit,” he said quietly, “Billy Hargrove, right?”

Max just glared out the window, arms crossed.

Now don’t get him wrong, Eddie wasn’t glad the guy was dead, but he was glad he didn’t have to run into him ever again. He found it hard to imagine anyone having any sort of positive relationship with Billy Hargrove, but he thought it best to offer his condolences anyway.

“I’m sorry… did you uh, were you guys close?”

“I hated him.” She stated with almost a forced coldness. Like it was something she’d said over and over again.

“Oh.” Was all Eddie could come up with. Truthfully, Eddie could relate to the situation. Al Munson was a real shit show of a human and an even worse father, but now that he was gone, there were a lot of complicated and ugly feelings associated with the memory of him.

Of course, Eddie had had a few years and late night chats with Wayne to carefully tuck all of those feelings away somewhere he wouldn’t burn his mind-hand on them every day when he went to cook up thoughts. Okay that was a weird analogy, sue him, his brain was weird. Anyway, as he was figuring out a way to bring up the similarities of their situations, Max spoke up again.

“I wanted him gone for so long, I should be glad he finally is.” She bit her cheek, “I mean- I’m not glad he’s dead, but I am sort of glad it was him and not anyone else, you know? And I guess I feel bad about that.”

He saw her look sharply at him out of the corner of his eye as he watched the road. “I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this.”

Eddie shrugged. “Maybe because I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened, so I can’t really give my opinion on it?”

Max nodded slowly. “Or,” he continued, “maybe you could psychically tell I’ve been there. Sort of.”

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him but kept quiet.

As the school came into view, he said. “Come on, you must know most people don’t end up in Forest Hills trailer park because things went spectacularly right in their life?”

She seemed to accept this line of thought, her expression less accusatory and more contemplative. He pulled into the parking lot. “I have a proposal for you-“

“Why the hell would I marry you?” She cut him off.

“There are other kinds of proposals, Red.” She rolled her eyes, but let him continue. “If you ever wanna have a ‘whose life sucks the worst’ competition with someone who might actually beat you, you know where to find me.”

As he shut the car off, she narrowed her eyes at him, not unlike Robin had the other day, trying to see if he had some other angle. And sure, he had come into the morning with one, but now that he had actually had a conversation with the kid, his main priority was to induct her into the society of lost sheep. Any clues he got from her for his side quest, would just be whipped cream.

After that, as the days got colder, they came to an unspoken agreement. On days that Max’s mom was too “busy” to drive her to school, she’d be waiting, leaning against Eddie’s van, Walkman blasting, until she could hitch a ride with him. Occasionally, if he had turned his alarm off and resigned himself to missing first period, she would bang on his window until he came out, irritated as hell, and got them both to school in record time.

He never tried to play any of his metal tapes again with Max in the car, but once he did steal one of Wayne’s Patsy Cline cassettes and loaded it in the day before. When ‘Walkin’ After Midnight’ started up, Max jumped slightly in surprise that there was music playing at all. Then, when she realized what it was, gave Eddie an equally exasperated and irritated look.

“Do you really think this is what I listen to?” She asked.

“No, but was I right in assuming you have no negative memories associated with dear sweet Patsy?”

She continued glaring at him. Then sighed and shook her head and looked out the window for the rest of the ride. Resolutely ignoring Eddie’s ridiculous singing along.

Most days they didn’t talk about anything. Occasionally they would complain/gossip about their obnoxious neighbors.

On November first she seemed more sullen than usual.

“Who pissed in your corn flakes?” Eddie asked when she didn’t even take her headphones off like she usually did.

When she turned to scowl at him, he noticed the deep purple bags under her eyes.

“Didn’t sleep last night,” she grumbled and turned away from him, closing her eyes. He narrowed his own at her for a second before going to start the van.

Right before he did, the little dog in the yard across the way crashed into the fence and started barking loudly at nothing, as it was usually doing. What was unusual was the way it made Max jump, eyes flying open and sucking in a harsh gasp. She looked around frantically, her breaths quick with panic.

“Woah there, Red, it’s just Mrs. Dalton’s dog getting excited over a squirrel or something,” he said, hoping his casual tone would soothe whatever she thought was happening.

She looked sharply at him, then cleared her throat. She shifted in her seat for a second, then settled back again. “You have your like, game thing tonight, right? With Dustin, and Mike, and Lucas?”

Eddie grinned. “Absolutely. Every Friday night,” he finally started the car, “you thinking of joining?”

She made a face of disgust, “Hell no. Just,” she pressed her lips together like she was thinking, “do you- you’re not planning on using demogorgons or anything, are you?”

Halfway through reversing out of his parking spot, he gaped at her in shock. “You know what a demogorgon is? I thought you didn’t play?”

“I don’t.” She snapped, “But I am friends with those nerds and they don’t shut up about it.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes at her and pulled out of the trailer park. “Why shouldn’t I use deomogorgons?”

Max’s eyes darted around in a way that was becoming all too familiar to Eddie, she was figuring out a way to say something without revealing details of a secret, and if he had to guess, it was the same secret that the others were protecting when they did it.

“It’s just that, well, do you remember when Will Byers went missing?” She eventually said.

Eddie nodded, and then apparently died and came back to life he thought. “Yeah, what does that have to do with my D&D game?”

“The night that he disappeared, they were playing D&D together, the guys and Will, and they were fighting a demogorgon,” she explained stiltedly, “and it was around this time of year, it just- it might bring up bad memories…” She trailed off and watched the trees fly past the window as they drove.

Eddie nodded and hummed in consideration. “Does it bring up bad memories for you?”

She turned back to him, eyebrows furrowed. “No. I moved here last year, I didn’t even know Will then.”

“Ah, so you look like death warmed over this morning for completely unrelated reasons.” He said sarcastically.

“Yes, actually.” She said, failing to elaborate.

Eddie raised his eyebrows, indicating she should go on.

She continued glaring at him, he figured she hoped he would back down eventually. Unlucky for her, he was the stubborn type. He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Max rolled her eyes. “Fine, if it’ll get you to stop making that face, I’ll tell you.” She sighed, “Today is the anniversary of the night my dead stepbrother attacked Lucas and almost beat Steve Harrington to death in front of us.”

Eddie should really learn his lesson about prying for more information than he was prepared for from Max. They sat in Eddie’s stunned silence for a moment before he cleared his throat.

“Right, yeah, Wheeler mentioned that, but he was pretty sparse on the details,” he decided to take the opportunity to learn more about one of the events he believed to be central to the mystery, “what exactly happened that night? Why were you guys hanging out with Harrington?”

She scoffed, sounding offended. “Did it maybe occur to you that I don’t want to talk about that?”

Eddie almost wanted to push further, but he remembered how successful that had been for Harrington. He glanced over to her to find her daring him to continue with her eyes.

Eventually, he clicked his teeth and shook his head. “Look, Red, I’m not gonna try to make you talk about anything you don’t want to. I’ll keep driving you to school in complete silence if that’s what you desire,” stopped at a stoplight, he turned to give her a meaningful look, “but, loathe as I am to admit it, I agree with Harrington’s sentiment the other night, whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to do it alone. You shouldn’t, that road never leads anywhere good.”

Her pinched expression didn’t falter. “And I’m supposed to take advice from the guy who failed senior year twice and sells weed to the losers of this town?”

Eddie shrugged, “All I’m hearing from that is that I have, at least a little more life experience than you, which I might have used to figure out some things about dealing with shit like this.”

“Shit like what?” She spat.

“Shit you don’t think you can talk about.” he said casually, purposefully in contrast to her building temper, “Shit that hurts to think about, even when it’s the only thing you can think about.”

They were quiet for a long moment before she eventually spoke up. Her gaze had moved from Eddie to the town of Hawkins speeding by out the window.

“I keep having nightmares.”

Part 6

[synthetickitsune]

S.Coups (SVT) | Manifestation crack | 0.7k | gn!reader warnings: dick size discussion A/N: never let me talk to @hanniedream this isn't what i thought i'd be writing today. also why did this turn out so angsty

“What did you do?” Seungcheol’s quiet growling, his no-nonsense tone, doesn’t carry too far in the silent cafe.

“What do you mean?” you ask, sipping the drink you paid for, and slide his own cup closer to him. He’s so enraged that he almost crushes the cup with his grip.

“You know what I mean,” he snarls.

You hum and look out of the window. Perhaps you do, but you want to hear him say it loud and clear. Although maybe not that loud, you don’t need people to start turning your way. It’s revenge but it’s not part of your plan to publicly humiliate him. At least for now. So you clear your throat before he can slam his fist on the table.

“I mean it, Cheol,” you sigh and blink up at him, the picture of innocence, “Whatever do you think I’ve done?”

He sets his jaw, his fists clench and unclench. There’s a fire in his eyes that you know too well. That same fire once was the beginning of your undoing.

“Are you kidding me right now?” he looks like he’s about to hit you but you know he wouldn’t. 

“No, I really have no idea what you’re talking about,” you pout your lips only slightly. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. His eyes scan the cafe but you’re sitting in a pretty secluded corner - again, a mercy he doesn’t deserve. He leans closer, gritting his teeth. His muscles bulge with the way his body gets tense. And suddenly despite everything, you find yourself drawn to him. Desiring him.

“My dick is shrinking,” he says, point-blank and without beating around the bush. You almost spit out your drink. He narrows his eyes at you.

“So I guess it’s working,” you snicker and the look in his eyes is priceless.

“You little-” 

He never gets to call you whatever he was about to call you, silenced by a curious look from a guy sitting a few tables over. There’s something very satisfying about watching Cheol withdraw back into his seat with fury still ablaze in his gaze.

“How and why?” he growls.

“Art of manifestation,” you shrug and chuckle at the confusion written all over his face, “I know, right? I guess not all of it is a scam.”

“As to why, do I really need to explain?” you quirk a brow at him. He just gives you a very straightforward nod. You roll your eyes. “You’re impossible, Cheol. You’re so annoying, walking around like you own the world. Like everyone needs to bend to you will just because you have a massive dick - oh wait, had a massive dick.”

“What?” he looks ready to pounce at you, and not in the way he usually does, “That’s it?”

“What do you mean that’s it?” you huff incredulously, “Have you ever heard yourself talking? Cheol, you’re lucky nobody’s fucking done this before.”

“You’re so petty!” he spits and buries his face in his hands.

“And you’re so infuriating. Sorry but you need to be humbled, I’m basically doing this for you,” you take another long sip of your drink and feel yourself relax. What’s he gonna do? Only you can help solve his little problem. And he looks sort of adorable being helpless like this.

“What can I do?” he finally whispers. You’d be lying if you said it doesn’t hurt just a little bit that he never spoke this softly to you before, not even in the early hours of the morning when you were both sweaty and breathing heavily after your nightly escapades. No, instead he’d be boasting about how good he made you feel. He deserves this lesson.

“Be a good person. Be nice, be kind, the usual stuff,” you look away but you feel his eyes burning holes through you anyway.

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I am nice, just not to you?” he bites back.

“Careful,” you smirk through the hint of hurt, “As you said, I’m very petty and you wouldn’t want your situation to get worse.”

You get into a silent staring contest that you end up winning. But still, somehow, despite it all, you feel like all you did today was prove his point.

You end up getting asked out on a date, as if something inside of Seungcheol broke and he accepted his fate. Not what you expected but sure, why not if he’s on his best behavior. Let’s see where this goes.

[theemissuniverse]

“ALL YOU WANTED” EMILY DAVIS X TOUGH! FEM!READER

SUMMARY : You and Emily are best friends…but best friends always means something more these days right?

WARNINGS : lesbian smut

A/N : this takes place when they all go back to the cabin.

It hadn’t even been an hour of all of you coming up to the mountain and you were witnessing Emily Davis and Matthew Taylor break up.

All because she had went to see Michael.

Despite you being Emily’s best friend, you could see where Matt was coming from. Getting caught having a conversation was not a good look.

You were even surprised at Emily being your best friend but the two of you were the meanest people in your own way so it kind of made sense.

You were made her best friend by force though in ninth grade where she forced you to sit with her at lunch because she thought you were pretty. Now you two were besties.

For better or worse? You’d have to find out.

“God, Matt! It didn’t mean anything! Get over it!”

Mike raised his hand as if he was in the classroom. “I can vouch for that. Trust me, I do not want her anymore.”

You were sitting in a chair, eating a cookie, watching the whole scene play out. You knew something was going to happen and you didn’t know if you wanted to stop it or keep it going.

Emily angrily turned to Mike at the statement. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think he means he doesn’t want to fuck skank anymore.” Jess replied for Mike.

Not only could you not help but comment because you were Emily’s best friend but because you always had to make your own remark of common sense. You finished your cookie and dusted your hand off. “If that’s the case then why is he fucking you?”

Emily had laughed at what you said and bit her lip to hold back her smile. Matt shook his head, rubbing his temples in irritation while Mike just did a whistle and looked away from the situation.

“I’m sorry? Did I ask you to bud in Ms. School Drop out?” Jess asked you while standing up from the couch where she was sitting next to Mike with.

“No but something told me that you needed a reality check and well, here I am to give it to you.” You told her, brushing off her calling you a drop out with ease.

“Don’t you find it a tad bit pathetic you follow Emily around all the time?”

“No. But what I do find pathetic is you not having any men to choose from so you chose your best friends man.”

“Last I heard, your relationship is dead so you don’t get to tell me how to live mine.”

Emily had watched the whole argument, entertained because you were winning. Up until the last remark Jessica said and she didn’t think she could go lower.

Beth was your girlfriend a year ago. Before everything happened. You had blamed everyone for a long time. Healed from it. Even from Emily. Emily apologized multiple times, which was unlike her to be honest and you forgave her.

This is why you never forgave Jessica because here she was, throwing that in your face.

The room felt silent. As if they knew the damage Jessica had done.

You stood up slowly from your chair then began to walk towards her. “You wanna try that again?”

Jessica gave you a deadpanned look. She would be a little scared but she knew that Emily would stop you before you hit her. So she kept going. “Don’t talk about saving people’s relationships when you couldn’t even save your own.”

Emily saw your fist balled up and instead of you hitting her, you gave her a warning push. A push so aggressive, it landed Jessica back on the couch. “Hey!”

As much as Emily wanted to see you kick her ass, she knew it would be trouble. It wouldn’t be the petty cat fight that she knew she would face up against Jess. You knew how to fight and you knew how to hurt her.

Jessica came from a wealthy family and Emily did not want to see you go to jail for a petty argument.

Emily immediately got in between the two of you. Then stood right in front of you. “Calm down. She’s not worth it.”

Mike brought Jess towards him. “Both of you, stop it.” He said.

“I can’t do it.” You said. “I have to hit something.”

“Just relax.” Emily told you. “Breathe. It’s going-“

“See, Emily. All you do is bring drama and I’m sick of it.” Matt started to say. “Look what we’re all doing! Because of you!”

You had chose your target. You turned around, facing Matt. Then you gave him your best punch. Him falling to the ground and him holding his mouth.

“(Y/N)!” Emily scolded you.

You ignored her. Then you left out the back door.

You needed some air and were fine if you had to freeze to death in order to get it. You hated the way people got in your head. You were a hothead and it got the best of you sometimes.

Emily was right behind you. “Hey! (Y/N)! Slow down!”

You sighed and stopped in your tracks, allowing Emily to catch up to you. “Look I’m sorry I-“

“I don’t care, meat head! Put this on.”

You looked to see it was your jacket that you had left in the lodge. You grabbed your jacket and started place it on you.

Emily looked down to your hand and saw the bruises on your knuckles. She shook her head and placed a hand on her hip. “You really did knock the shit out of my ex boyfriend didn’t you?”

You sighed, feeling guilty of your actions. Emily was the only person who could make you feel guilty. “Look, Em I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have hit your-“ Then you had thought about what she said. “Did you say ex-boyfriend?”

“Yeah I did. He’s too soft for me obviously and I don’t have time for that. And he left my bag with all my expensive clothes in it! That idiot.”

You knew the two wouldn’t last that long but that was pretty fast you had to say.

Emily grabbed your hand and started to lead the way. “Help me look for it.”

“Ugh. Why do I gotta help you look for it?”

“Because I said so!”

You knew best not to argue with her so you let her lead the way. Besides, you weren’t going to let her be out by herself anyway.

The two of you walked to the picnic table area. Emily looked over to one of the tables and saw a carving. She dusted the snow off and saw your initials with Beth’s.

She felt jealousy when she had looked at the carving but knew she had to swallow it. “Wow. You must’ve really loved her huh?”

You were confused. You walked over and saw the carving for yourself and remembered. “Oh…that…” You leaned against the picnic table, looking down a little. “I liked her. A lot. Can’t say I loved her though. It takes a lot for me to do that.”

Emily nodded at your choice of words. It made sense. You’ve had a lot of girlfriends before Beth and you had never really loved any of them. Love was a hard thing for you and she understood that.

You decided to change the subject. “What’s so important in this bag anyway?” You asked her.

Emily smirked when you had questioned it. “Oh just my undies. The lace ones.”

You raised a brow when you had noticed the flirty tone in her voice. Emily would always flirt with you but you had always considered it to be friendly flirting and nothing romantic attached to it so you played along.

“Well we don’t need those.”

Unbeknownst to you, Emily was actually flirting with you. She had always had a secret crush on you but was too scared to do anything. Also, she was used to people hitting on her. Not her hitting on other people.

“You don’t want me to model them for you.” Emily asked you. She did a little spin so you could examine her body.

Your eyes darted all over her and it was at this point you were starting to realize that you also flirted with her more than the friendly way. “I’m just going to rip them off of you anyways.”

Emily had did something she never did before. She took a step towards you. Then grabbed your hands and made them be on her body. “You ever done it outside before?”

You were intrigued at how far Emily was willing to go to just play flirt with you which was confirming in your mind that she was serious. But how could she be serious? You two were just friends.

You had laughed at her question. “Have you?”

“No. But maybe I want to.” Emily went to tug at belt of your jeans which made you groan a little. You felt her breath on your neck and her kissing softly. “I cant with this on though.”

You moaned at the soft kisses that she placed on your neck. Yeah. She definitely wasn’t playing anymore.

Emily pulled away from your neck. She looked you directly in your eyes. You pushed away the hair that was in her face. She looked so beautiful to you.

Emily leaned in and kissed you on the lips. You didn’t hesitate. You cupped the back of her neck with your right hand and kissed her back.

You used your left hand to place on her hip and bring her closer. Emily moaned and continued to kiss you like she was hungry. She had been waiting for this.

It was freezing out but the two of you didn’t feel any cold. You were in each other’s warmth.

You just had to confirm something. You pulled away from her lips. The two of you slightly out of breath. “Wait a second.” Emily looked annoyed at you for stopping but waited for you to ask her what you needed. “Are we straight girl kissing or gay girl kissing?”

Emily shook her head at how unserious but serious you could be. “The second one.” She confirmed before going straight back to kissing you.

That made you more bolder in your movements. You picked Emily up by her ass and made her legs wrap around your waist. Emily moaned in the kiss while you sat her down on the picnic table.

Your lips went down to her neck. Instead of kissing you sucked on her sweet spots making her moan, gripping you. “God that feels so good.” Emily commented.

You pushed your knee in between Emily and made your knee make contact with her clothed area. She moaned at the friction you were going and made you pull away from her neck. “I can’t take this. Let’s go to the lodge.”

You were still lost a little. Surprised this was happening. “O-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence as Emily was already dragging you back to the lodge.

The two of you walked back into the lodge. Emily paid no mind to the people that were in the living room and dragged you upstairs, all the way to the room Emily had picked out.

When the door was closed, the two of you were back on each other. The two of you took your shoes off while you made out.

You helped Emily take her jacket off and throw in on the floor. Emily did the same for you. Emily pushed you on the bed. You sat there, watching her.

Emily’s hands went to your belt and started to unbuckle your pants. When she had finally got your pants to unbuckle, you grabbed her and laid her on the bed.

You got on top of her and took off her shirt. She was wearing a lace purple bra. You gave her a look. “All your lace underwear was in your bag huh?”

Emily giggled and kissed you. You kissed her back. You never kissed anyone the way you were kissing Emily. It was different.

That’s when you realized it was always different with Emily.

You unbuttoned her pants and helped her take them off. Her underwear matched her bra.

“Why am I the only one naked?” Emily complained while kissing you.

“It’s more fun that way.”

“Yeah, fun for you.”

You chuckled and removed her underwear. Leaving her exposed. You licked your index and middle finger before placing it on her clit and rubbing it in circles.

Emily moaned loudly. She gripped on your arm. You started off slow and teasingly. You didn’t have to do much. She was already wet from you.

You found your rhythm and started to go a little bit faster on her clit. She tried to meet your rhythm but any time she’d get too excited, you’d slow down.

“Stop torturing me, (Y/N).”

You laughed. You kissed her gently on the lips and picked back the pace. Emily moaned loudly in the kiss. You stuck your fingers in her pussy, knowing she was wet enough. The palm of your hand hit her clit while you kept the fast pace.

“God, (Y/N). Yes.” Emily tried to quietly moan but came out of extremely loud. It’s like she didn’t care to be quiet and wanted all the pleasure she could get from you.

Emily’s hands went to her chest. She held on to her chest while throwing her head back. You regretted not taking off her bra before starting.

Her clit constantly bounced off from the palm of your hand and Emily felt herself getting close. “Wait. I’m almost there. Stop.”

You kissed her on the neck. Licking and sucking on her sweet spots. “Why stop? I want you to cum on my fingers.”

Emily moaned at your words. “I want you though.”

You understood what Emily was trying to say and pulled away from her pussy. Then licked your fingers clean off. “Mmhm. I kinda want you to sit on my face.”

Emily shoved your shoulder, making you laugh. “No, (Y/N). Come on. I want you.”

You took off your pants. Then slid off your underwear and threw them somewhere. Emily was about to place her fingers on your clit but you stopped her. “Trust me, I’m already wet from you moaning.”

Emily bit her lip smiling and you got on top of her. You made sure to position your clit above hers before looking at her. “This is not how I expected to spend my weekend.”

She took off your shirt, leaving you in your bra. “Isn’t this so much better?”

“It is.” You couldn’t deny. You kissed Emily on her lips again before placing your clit directly on top of hers. The you were moving slowly.

You knew Emily all too well because you were best friends which meant you knew Emily never had sex with a woman before. So you tried moving slowly for her.

Emily was doing exactly what you knew she would do. Getting sensitive quickly. Emily let out a sharp moan. She clung onto your body, not expecting to be so sensitive. She was whimpering, pleading for you to get her to cum.

“You sound so sexy.” You told her. You tried to ease her in by kissing her lovingly all over body.

“Don’t stop. Oh god, yes.” Emily was practically screaming and you should’ve figured she would by how sensitive she was.

“Your boyfriends might hear you.” You jokingly said to her while kissing all over her body.

“I don’t care. Just get me to cum all over you. Please.”

You could’ve came off her just moaning for you. You should’ve figured Emily was submissive. She was a brat. You gripped onto her leg and went faster. Your pussies colliding against each other. Making the both of you moan in pleasure.

Emily’s hands felt like fire on your body. She unclipped your bra from the back and threw the bra on the floor somewhere.

As you kept your pace, you noticed Emily staring at you in awe. You tilted your head at her. “What?”

“You’re so beautiful.”

You weren’t expecting her to say that. You bent down to give her a sloppy kiss on her lips. She returned it.

“Mmhm. (Y/N). Let me get on top.”

You pulled away from her warmth and laid down on the bed. Emily got on top of you and placed her pussy back on yours. You chuckled at the gasp she had let out. It was far more sensitive for her to be on top than you.

“You sure you don’t want me on top?” You teased a little.

“Shut up.” Emily more so moaned and started to move on you. She didn’t go slow though. She went back to the fast pace you were doing.

You moaned, hugging onto her hips and helping her move. “Shit. Keep going. Just like that.” You went to unclip her bra and when you did, you immediately started to rub her titties.

Emily moaned at you playing with her nipples while trying to focus on her pace. “Oh god. (Y/N).”

You noticed Emily was losing her pace so you went back to her hips and helped her move on you. “Come on, baby. Move your pussy on me.”

You calling Emily baby turned her on and motivated her to move even faster on you. “(Y/N)?”

Noticing she was asking you something and not moaning your name, you nodded, still feeling immense pleasure. “Yeah?”

“When I make you cum on my pussy you’re going to be mine.”

You knew that was Emily’s way of asking to be your girlfriend but she was always the demanding type. You closed your eyes, feeling yourself become closer to release. You gripped her hips tighter. “You make me cum, you can have anything you want.”

Emily’s hands reached to your chest and started to play with your titties. You moaned at the touch. “I’m so close.” She told you.

You watched Emily’s chest bounce up and down. You couldn’t help but lick your lips. Seeing it was starting to make you close. “Keep going. I’m almost there too.”

Emily whined at how sensitive she felt herself start to get. You notice her slowing down some and you were so close you didn’t even want to help her anymore.

You flipped her on the bed and quickly got back on top. Your pussies continued to make out with each other. Wetness was heard all around the room and was even starting to go down your leg.

“(Y/N), I need you.” You felt Emily’s nails claw at your back and you knew it was only moments before she came all over you.

“Cum all over my pussy, baby. You can do it.” You said while kissing on her neck.

“Oh, god. (Y/N). Yes.”

You felt yourself coming undone, closing your eyes. “Fuck, Emily.”

“Yes, yes. I’m cumming. Oh god I’m cumming. (Y/N).”

You felt yourself cum and Emily was following right behind you. Your pussies became so wet that the juice soaked the bed sheets.

You continued to move until you knew both of you were done. You got up from her and laid down next to her.

Emily grabbed the blanket and placed it on top of the two of you. “I can’t believe I waited that long to do that.”

You chuckled before nodding. “Yeah. Me too.” You turned to look at her, seriously. “So…how do you wanna play this?”

Emily sighed, knowing what you meant. “They’re all just drama filled. I just want to stay up here with you.”

“It’s gonna come out. Especially at how loud you were.” Emily hit your shoulder at what you said and rolled her eyes.

“Well they’ll just be mad they couldn’t get me to scream like that.” She said before kissing you.

So you were with your best friend now? Not what you expected.

[quickstappen]

track 001: end of the beginning

A/N: hello, welcome to another smau i guess, enjoy? this is the real reason why the latest part of carved my name was up so late yall ;) oscar won his first race and i had to do something!! i'm sorry to all the carlos fans, but someone's gotta be the bad guy, yk?

masterlist | next

december 2019

liked by prema_team, arthur_leclerc and others

paola_sainz I can't believe it is time to go, it still doesn't feel real. Thank you for those amazing years together, for the memories and happiness, I couldn't wish for better team, better friends, I love you all and I'll miss you tremendously. Cheers to the next chapter in our lives.

see all comments...

prema_team We'll miss you vice-champ! Make sure to visit when you're around ❤️

↳ paola_sainz of course! I'll visit so much you'll get sick of me ;)

sainzssss_ noooooooo, what???

shithappens what. the. fuck.

carlossainz55 Excited for your new journey! Now you can spend more time in my garage 🔥😎

↳ paola_sainz yeah, im so excited too!

↳ quickstappen this seems... dry

↳ albono_23 right???

ilpredestinatox oh noo! you were the reason i decided to follow my dreams and go to college for mechanical engineering, i can't believe you're not gonna be racing anymore

↳ paola_sainz oh sweetie, i'm so glad you're following your dreams! dm me if you have any enfeneering problems - i can ask around and get back to you ;)

↳ nyoomf1 she's so sweet 🥹

arthur_leclerc I'll miss your annoying face you know? (only a tiny bit)

↳ paola_sainz acting like you won't see me at basically every race anyway (i'll miss you too) 🤍

↳ arthur_leclerc 🤍

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february 2024

liked by arthur_leclerc, jensonbutton and others

paola_sainz does it ever drive you crazy...?

3 years ago i was broken beyond recognition, i lost my purpose and will to carry on, i thought that without racing i was noone. to think that the same girl just sold out her first collection of athletic wear is absolutely crazy, i can't believe how far we've come and i can't wait to see what else we can do

see all comments...

carlando333 girl 💀💀

↳ ilpredestinatox what do you mean, tf

↳ carlando333 Carlos literally just lost his seat for next year

↳ ilpredestinatox well, this is not carlos' page is it? she's not his keeper, she's allowed to be her own person

cuddlyxricc can she like,, read the room?

byelandoo lol, she does not care about the ferrari drama AT ALL

carlove55 are you gonna comment on the carlos situation??

shithappens she looked so happy when she was racing 🥺 i still can't accept that i'll never see her in a f1 car

↳ quickstappen right??

arthur_leclerc i am going to model the next collection

↳ paola_sainz don't know if you've noticed, but i make WOMEN'S athletic wear

↳ arthur_leclerc you just don't want to see me slay

↳ paola_sainz do not say slay ever again

charlosp1 💀

spanishxbabe so Carlos means nothing to you?

jensonbutton So proud! Brittany loves her set 🧡

↳ paola_sainz 🧡

charles_leclerc Knew you could do it Lola 🤍

↳ paola_sainz thank you for believing in me Charlie 🤍

view more...

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and others

paola_sainz oh baby, how good to see you again!

(also, charles_leclerc go and win me a race please, i don't know how many forza ferrari sempre's i have left in me)

see all comments...

shithappens i'm sorry, is that a man? with my wife?

quickstappen queen is back in paddock!

arthur_leclerc so the ones with me in them were not good enough to make it, but the random one with him tying you're shoelaces made it?

↳ paola_sainz guess so, try harder next time

screwderriaf1 she's so real for that, Charles for WDC2024

↳ ilpredestinatox GIRL, be so fr rn

↳ screwderriaf1 just let me dream man

carlando333 oh come on! she doesn't care about carlos at all! fucking snake, thinking she's better than him🐍

logansargeant nice of you to visit old friends

↳ paola_sainz we're literally going for lunch tomorrow?

↳ sheilaxf1 they know each other??

↳ lewibear yeahh, since her time at prema i'm pretty sure

charles_leclerc Yeah, no pressure right

↳ paola_sainz you know it ;)

charlosp1 did she really say that she wishes that charles won and not her brother who's fighting for his future this season 💀

redmilton Paola Sainz soft launching a white man in the year 2024 was not on my bingo card

cuddlyxricc sorry but first no comment on carlos' seat and now this? yeah no, not cool

elmatadorf1 traitor! rooting for charles when your brother lost his seat because of him 🐍

madi_races is my girlfriend in a relationship with a.... man??

predestined55 absolutely no honour, not surprised tbh after seeing who she hangs out with 🐍

darth_nando can we please stop mentioning Carlos in every comment section under her posts? it's so unnecessary

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paola's messages:

YouTube, Screaming Meals | now playing:

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paola's messages:

madi's radio: okay look, the text between Spanish speakers.... i do not know Spanish and putting entire conversations through google translate is not the best, so let's just pretend they're in Spanish, yeah?

click here to be added to the hiding in the seams taglist!

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[heavenlyvision]

Begrudgingly betrothed

Word count: 23.6k

Pairing: Kuai Liang x F!Reader

A/N: It is done, I am sorry it took so long but as you can see, it is my longest fic so far !!! I may have gotten carried away but I am quite proud of this monstrosity of a fic so, please enjoy <33

Summary:  There has been arrangements for you to marry a good friend of yours and you weren’t included in the discussion, now you have to come to terms with wedding a man you don’t love, understand why you have been put in this situation and learn to enjoy leaving home and living somewhere new.  

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, virgin!reader, dirty talk, dry humping, thigh fucking, fingering, cunnilingus,  minor dacryphilia, tiny bit of size kink (if you squint), tease!Kuai, mentions of panic attacks, reader has both a mother and father, I think that is all !! <3

MDNI

This is… not an ideal situation for you. You have just been made aware, not asked, made aware, of the fact that you will be marrying Kuai Liang of the Shirai Ryu. It has been arranged between your family and the clan, and they both left you out of the conversation. To be fair, it could be worse, you know Kuai and have for a bit now but you did not foresee this coming. The shock of the situation and neglect to include you in the conversation is what has you upset the most.

Also, the fact that Kuai didn’t mention this to you at all? Is odd, you are close with him and you’ve always thought of him as your good friend, so to have him not bring up being arranged to marry him, at all… is upsetting and suspicious. But in the end, it’s not like what you think matters, considering this has already been decided for you and you’d really rather not kick up a fuss. It wouldn’t end well for you.

Picking your battles is smart, it’s a philosophy you live by and going against your father… is a battle you would not win, not this time anyways. You can tell, when he looks you in the eyes to tell you what is happening, he is not concerned with your feelings, he is only telling you the reality of what is going to happen.

At least it is not a stranger but somehow it’s not that much better, since Kuai didn’t tell you. You suppose, he probably has his reasons but you can’t get over being passed around like property, it’s sad, it makes you sad that your father is casting you off so easily and it also makes you sad that Kuai is, compliant with it, at the very least.

“This is something that will be happening,” your fathers voice is stern, even.

You look him in the eyes, firm, resolute, “I am aware and I will not resist but that does not mean I am happy, and I will not lie and say I am either.”

He is unmoved by your voiced displeasure, “You will do whatever makes this process go smoothly and you will do what you are told.”

You feel, so much right now but your face remains emotionless, unwilling to break in front of your father, “Fine but I am going to tell you right now, to me, this is unforgivable.”

Your father raises a brow at you, feeling no sympathy, “I do not need your forgiveness, I have done nothing wrong.”

He is unbelievable, so you tell him, “I hope one day, you will see how wrong you are but for now I will live with the fact that you have cast off your only daughter to be wed without her consent.”

“And I hope one day, you understand my actions and realise you are being a petulant child,” he retorts.

You ignore him and his rude statement, “If there is nothing further to be discussed, I would like to leave.”

He waves a dismissive hand at you, “Yes, fine, leave.”

Standing to your feet, you leave the formal dining area. He had asked you there under false pretences, you had expected a nice afternoon chat with your dad over tea and instead he dropped this bomb on you. After you shut the door, you head towards the garden, needing fresh air and solace to collect your thoughts. This is going to be a… trying couple of weeks.

The garden is quiet, you sit on an old wooden bench, looking out towards all the greenery. It’s a nice garden, your mother has worked hard on tending to it, the flowers are beautiful, at least they usually are. None of the flowers are blooming at the moment, dead or dormant for the colder months. It fills you with a sense of melancholy to know you are not going to see this garden as frequently after your marriage.

You’re facing the entrance currently and so you can see when Kuai Liang is making his way towards you. Normally, you would be pleased to see him but after the news you’ve just received, you are… maybe not unhappy to see him but certainly not excited either and he can tell as much when he looks to you, his demeanour sheepish as he approaches.

“I’m guessing your father has told you,” he says, standing in front of you.

You look up to him, “You mean that we have new tea?” you say sardonically before continuing, “Or maybe you are referring to the fact that I am supposed to be marrying you within the next few weeks, something that has been in the works for a couple of weeks without my knowledge and not only that but the fact that this will result in me having to leave my home and move somewhere unfamiliar, with people I do not know well?” Your face displays no extreme emotions but your tone is filled with threatening politeness.

There’s a few moments of silence, Kuai only looks at you, not knowing what to say to make this better and to be quite frank, there is nothing that will make you feel better at this current moment.

Your expression changes to a more easy going one, “Yes, he told me.”

Kuai sighs, “He was meant to wait for me, I wanted to speak with you first.”

“Well, that is where you went wrong,” you wave a hand at him, explaining, “He has to be the one to do things first, he was never going to let you tell me this.” Your father has an odd complex, he has the only say in things and he will be the first one to inform others of what they are to do. ‘Orders’ come from him and him alone.

Distantly, you wonder if he told you first because it will be the last ‘order’ he can give you before you are given away to another man. This is gross, it feels like swapping handlers, you feel as though you have no freedom and that all the times your father had told you, that you were so much more than just a woman, just a future wife, were lies. Like he meant none of it.

It feels as though, the relationship with your father will never be the same again and coming to terms with that is going to be hard.

You pat the spot beside you on the bench, “Sit down.”

“Thank you,” Kuai replies, sitting cautiously beside you.

It’s awkward between the two of you, mostly because you can tell Kuai has more to say but you won’t even look in his direction, which is making it hard for him to gain an opening to talk. It feels mean, but you know what else feels mean? Getting betrothed to a friend and not being told, even though he knew it was happening.

You sigh beside him, “Kuai, are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” he doesn’t hesitate in answering.

“What about you and Harumi?” You were pretty sure they had something going on between the two of them.

He’s looking at you, “What about her?”

Your eyes stay forward but you really want to look at him and roll them dramatically, “What do you mean ‘what about her’? Everyone was pretty sure you two were going to wed.”

He turns his own face forward, looking out to the garden, “We are just friends, nothing more.”

“Be honest with yourself Kuai, I don’t want to be the reason you miss your chance at love.” You feel empty, this isn’t how you wanted to marry and it will suck even more if Kuai doing this causes him to miss out on love.

He is unconcerned by your hesitations, his tone even when he speaks, “I do not feel that way, not for Harumi.”

“But you feel that way for someone?” He doesn’t reply, “My concern is still warranted then.” You finish, his silence a clear indication that he feels some type of way for someone.

He wavers for a moment, going to say something before deciding against it.

You talk before him, making yourself clear, “If you still want to go through with this, in spite of your feelings for someone else, then that is fine. I will do whatever is asked of me but I want you to know… I think you should marry the person you love.”

Kuai stands up from the bench, his back to you, “Your concern is noted.” Is all he says before he walks away.

You’re left in the garden by yourself, Kuai has walked off, assumedly leaving for the day, he seemed to be getting annoyed at your pushing. The mention of him not marrying the person he loves probably displeasing him, which is fair but he also has the power to stop this from happening. This is all very confusing for you, no one even told you it was happening and now it seems like both your father and Kuai are neglecting to tell you everything. Neglecting to tell you the things that would have all of this making sense. Typical men.

At least the air around you is fresh, cold, but fresh and it’s helping to calm you down. Both the conversations between Kuai and your father not going well has upset you but at least the cool breeze is relieving, it’s what you need to gather yourself before moving forward. You’ll just have to look on the bright side… which you will do, when you find out what the bright side is. Because so far there doesn’t seem to be anything bright about this situation but maybe that is just your bad mood talking.

You stay in the garden for a while, thinking about all the things that are about to change for you. The actual wedding won’t be for a few weeks but that doesn’t mean you get to stay here; your father informed you that you have one week left here and then you are to be moved to the Shirai Ryu village. An upsetting fact but you will cope, at least you will know some of the people there. And by some, you mean Tomas, Raiden and Harumi, everyone else is a stranger but it’s better than nothing.

₊ ⊹

When you head back to the house, everyone is waiting at the dinner table for you and by everyone, you mean Kuai is also sat at the table. He had stayed, apparently and now you have to sit through a very uncomfortable dinner with your mother, father and Kuai – your soon to be husband.

Sighing lightly and mostly to yourself, you move to your usual spot, sat across from Kuai, your mother and father sit at either end of the table. Judging by the atmosphere of the room already, this is going to be a long dinner.

Looking to Kuai, you can’t read much about how he is feeling. He is stoic and looks to be calm, but you can’t tell if he really feels that way or if everything he is feeling, is occurring internally. His eyes lock onto yours and you hold his gaze, wanting to challenge him, his eyes are unmoving and firm. You keep looking at him but you need to blink, you try holding out for as long as you can before your eyes start to water and you have to close them.

When you look back at him, one of his brows are raised humorously at you, entertained by your poor attempt at a staring competition. It wasn’t your initial intent to try and start a staring contest, only wanting to display your irritation for this situation but now you’re even more annoyed that you couldn’t get him to blink before you. You aren’t even convinced he’s blinked yet, weirdo.

Scowling lightly, you look away from him and down to your food. Your parents have been talking but you haven’t really been listening, all your attention was on Kuai Liang and his stupid face. Why he has stayed eludes you but you’re sure you will find out soon enough, it’s too late for him to leave now, he’ll probably stay the night and he’ll probably want to speak with you again before he leaves, presumably tomorrow.

“Are you paying attention to me?” Your fathers voice booms from the head of the table.

Your posture shoots up and your head flicks in his direction to look at him, you don’t know how to tell him you weren’t. He seems very angry, he’s never raised his voice like that to you before, his behaviour is starting to distress you.

Kuai speaks for you, trying to help, “It was my fault, I was distracting her.”

Your father is displeased though, you can tell by the way the corner of his eye twitches slightly and how his mouth pulls up, he goes to say something but your mother talks over him, “Now, I think that is quite enough, let’s eat and they can talk later, hmm?” She poses it like a question but it isn’t one, she’s telling him what to do right now and he concedes, like he most often does when it comes to your mother.

Dinner is silent and uncomfortable and you want to rip your eyes out of your head because this is the worst thing you’ve had to sit through. Last time you felt like this was when your parents had been arguing for weeks straight and then suddenly stopped, choosing to punish each other silently instead… which was somehow, way worse than the yelling and bickering.

You chance a glance up to Kuai and he’s already looking at you, his eyes are sympathetic to you and how uncomfortable you must feel but you feel worse for him. This isn’t his house or his family, it must be incredibly painful to try and eat dinner with a family that is currently annoyed with each other.

Taking initiative, you push back from your seat, “I’d like to talk with Kuai now, privately.” You squint at your father, frustration with him palpable.

“Thank your mother for dinner first,” he mumbles out.

Turning to your mother, you graciously say, “Thank you for dinner, it was lovely.”

“You’re very welcome,” she smiles and scrunches her nose at you affectionately.

As you round behind her chair, you kiss the top of her head before grabbing Kuai’s hand and tugging him off after you, he makes sure to thank your parents as he’s pulled along. You don’t look back and continue dragging him behind you, leading him to your room. It will be quiet there and you can maybe get some answers out of him.

“Where are you taking me?” He’s being pliant, letting you continue to lead him, even though he very easily could get you to stop in your tracks.

You try ignoring him but he tugs back a bit, showing you just how easily he could stop complying with you. Groaning and without looking back at him, you say, “My room.”

He stops all at once and your back collides with his chest. He doesn’t move though, not even taking a step back from you falling into him. He leans down behind you, mouth next to your ear, “Is that appropriate?”

His voice is deep and sets you on edge, a shiver threatening to run down your spine at the low timbre of his voice. You suppress it as best you can before turning your face to the side, both of you close like this. You thought he would pull away from you but he doesn’t, he doesn’t move an inch. His eyes are lidded as he looks at you, it feels like his gaze is burning through you.

Your head flicks forward, not able to handle the way he was looking at you just now, all the blood in your body feels like it’s rushed to your face. He pulls away from you, a hand landing on your shoulder. You gather yourself quickly and tell him, “It is appropriate, I have questions and you have answers.”

One of your hands grabs his from your shoulder and you walk off again, he trails silently behind you this time, letting you drag him around. His hand is very warm, warmer than before, he’d be handy to have close by this winter. You suppose that could be a bright side, you’re marrying a pyromancer in the middle of winter. It’s not much but the thought makes you smile.

When you approach your room, you open the door to let him in first and tell him to sit anywhere. You follow in behind him, shutting the door and turning to look at him. He is awkwardly standing in the middle of your room; he seems to be having trouble deciding where to sit. You watch him struggle for a bit, before he seemingly decides to just stand.

Laughing to yourself, you walk up to him and push on his chest, he walks back until his legs hit the edge of your bed, “Sit.” You tell him.

He sits down, carefully, eyes looking up into yours, “You are demanding.”

You roll your eyes at him and move across the room, when you come back, you’re dragging a chair you had kept in the corner. You place it in front of him and sit down, crossing one leg over the other. His eyes watch the way your legs move before looking back to you.

Kuai’s frame is still, not moving and very clearly not relaxed. It’s funny, looking at this large man sit uncomfortably on your bed. He shuffles a bit from side to side, trying to make the best of his situation.

“Do you want the chair?” You ask, taking pity on him.

He looks to you, “I am fine…”

You get up anyways and move over to him, offering your hand to pull him up. He takes it but pulls you down beside him instead, your outer thigh is pressed against his. You jostle against him a bit, the mattress bouncing lightly with your weight and the force of Kuai’s pull.

You pull your hand from his and gently slap at his shoulder, “What was that for?”

“I told you I was fine.”

“Whatever, go sit in the chair,” you huff out.

“No, I am comfortable here,” he says, amused as you sigh exasperatedly at him.

You cave, letting him do whatever he wants, “Fine.”

“What did you want to know?” He asks, redirecting the conversation.

Your posture slouches a bit, already wanting the conversation to be over, “Why didn’t you tell me? That I am to marry you?” you pause for a moment before continuing, “You have known for weeks now, I see you every week and have done for a while now. Did you not think this was something I would have liked to know about?”

He thinks for a moment, on how to phrase his words, “You deserved to know… but I did not have much of a choice.”

That confuses you, so you clarify, “In getting engaged to me?”

He shakes his head as he answers quickly, “No, no that is my choice… it was not my choice to keep it from you, your father decided that.” He doesn’t look thrilled by your fathers choice.

Your voice feels small, “You could have told me anyways.”

“No, I could not have. You are amazing…” he places a hand on your knee and squeezes,

You squint at him, “I feel a ‘but’ coming.”

“But, you are… confrontational?” He sees the way you frown at him when he describes you that way and corrects himself, “Or maybe curious is a better word… you would have wanted to speak with your father as soon as I told you.”

Looking away, you mumble out to him, “If you were worried about my father… I would not have told him, that you told me.”

“It was important to him that I say nothing, he wanted to speak with you… well, together but I suppose he decided against that in the end.” He’s trying to be gentle with you, his voice warm.

Facing him again, your eyes are filled with emotions and you can’t help it, “I am still very confused, he… he never had any intentions of marrying me off.”

“All I can tell you is that he does now, I don’t know what changed for him but I had heard he was looking for… possible suitors for you,” Kuai’s face scrunches up in distaste.

Your voice shakes with your question, “He was going to marry me off to… anyone?”

“I am sure not just anyone… but he was looking, yes.”

Your eyes well with tears, not only are you being given away without regard for your own feelings but he wasn’t even going to… he wasn’t even going to marry you to someone you knew.

Kuai grabs the side of your face tenderly, forcing eye contact between the two of you. A tear slips down your cheek and his thumb rubs it away, stroking your cheek gently. “I know… I know you may be upset with me and maybe what I’ve done is wrong but I offered– I insisted that I be the one you marry.”

Kuai marrying you, Kuai asking to marry you, is a kindness. A favour he is doing for you, to prevent a marriage between yourself and a stranger and as upset as you are with him, you are more upset with your father. Especially since, right now it feels as though Kuai is your only ally.

Your lip quivers a bit, trying to hold back more tears. He shushes you and pulls you to him, his warm arms wrapping around your body and holding you close, keeping you safe. One of his hands rests on the back of your head, stroking it, attempting to comfort and calm you. You reciprocate his hug, wrapping your own arms around his frame and pulling him closer, he feels sturdy and reliable.

“It’s going to be okay, I have you,” he mumbles into the top of your head and you believe him.

He holds you until you pull away from him first, once you’re no longer worried about crying, you sit back properly and wipe at your eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for… I know this is hard for you,” his expression is sympathetic to you.

“I just… wish he had explained his reasoning more, maybe then it wouldn’t feel so out of the blue,” you sigh out before flopping back on the mattress, tired from the events of today. Your forearm covers your eyes as you lay down.

Kuai hums out to you in mindless agreement but doesn’t say anything further, his lack of a real response confuses you and when you uncover your eyes, you see he’s already looking at you. His eyes move up your stretched out body, silently watching you.

“Kuai Liang,” you call out to him, louder than your last sentence.

The shock of your voice contrasted against the quiet room has his eyes flicking back to yours, “What did you say?”

Something occurs to you and you sit up beside him again, he’s surprised by your sudden movements, eyes widening slightly. You turn to him completely, one of your legs crossed on the mattress.

“Kuai…” you hesitate to ask him your question but he hums at you to continue, “Am I… are we going…” he raises a brow at you, confused as to what you’re trying to ask him, “Do we have to kiss? For the ceremony?” You finally manage to get out.

He stifles a chuckle at your question, “Not if you don’t want to, it’s not necessary… you know that.”

Your mouth pulls to the side, considering things for a moment. He is right, it isn’t necessary but now you’re a little concerned about your future and what it means to be married to Kuai, “I haven’t… I’ve not been kissed.”

“Ever?” He seems taken aback by your confession.

You huff out, “I didn’t tell you to get made fun of, Kuai,” You told him because you’re worried about later, you’ve not had a lot of firsts and if you marry him, you want to respect that, you won’t be looking at others while married to him. You’re just, you’re in a predicament right now.

Before you can convey your concerns in a sensical manner though, he asks, “Do you want me to kiss you?”

You’re shocked by his offer, and also tempted. You suppose you aren’t really going to have many opportunities at intimacy after the marriage, not unless you ask Kuai, the thought has your face burning up.

You feel shy, “Do you mind?”

“Not in the slightest,” he assures you, “Though, if you want me to kiss you, you’ll have to ask for it.”

His words and demeanour set you on edge, his eyes are watching you very closely. Watching how you fidget, “Would you kiss me?” You feel embarrassed and very hot in the face but you add, “Please?”

His expression turns smug and it makes your heart skip a beat, “Since you asked so nicely,” he turns to face you properly and reaches forward, one of his hands grasps your face, the other resting on your knee.

He leans in but you hesitate and he holds still, “I don’t know what I am doing.”

“That’s fine,” His breath fans across your lips, “I will show you.”

Is he trying to kill you? He might kill you, his words and his proximity to you, it’s setting your skin on fire, “Okay.”

“Good,” he murmurs, before leaning in again. You don’t move away this time and he presses his lips to yours.

He’s warm and his lips are soft, you mimic what he’s doing. The kiss is light and tender, he seems to be feeling you out, getting a sense for you. Your hands reach out to him, of their own provocation and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you. He hums against you, his own hand on your knee is gripping your skin tighter.

He tilts your head to the side, the hand on your knee wanders higher, landing on your thigh and squeezing there. The grip he has further up your thigh makes you gasp and he licks into your mouth, the feeling new and overwhelming. He’s overpowering all of your senses and an involuntary whimper is pulled from your chest at the way he’s kissing you.

He grunts back at you, his thumb pushes into the hinge of your jaw, forcing your mouth open more. Giving himself more access to you, he’s taking your breath away, kissing you dizzy. You want to rub your thighs together for friction but with the way you’re sitting, it’s not possible. His palm against your leg is hot and it keeps moving further up, now grasping the fattest part of your thigh.

A moan slips past your lips to his and you pull him closer to you, he groans into your mouth. The kiss is hot and needy now, borderline messy. He pulls back momentarily, only to push your back into the mattress. His form follows right after, holding himself over the top of you. His lips are on yours before you can form a coherent thought, his tongue in your mouth again.

His hand grips at your thigh, pulling it upwards and resting it against his hip, not moving more than that. You reach up and tug at his shirt, pulling him onto you, your leg crooks around his side and pulls his hips to yours. The contact has a whiney gasp pulled from you and Kuai fights every urge in his bones to grind down into you.

Your arms loop around his neck again and you get lost in his kiss, in the closeness of his body. He groans deeply against you, as if he’s in pain. The sound shocks you and you pull back from him, your foreheads resting against each other as you huff shallow breaths.

“Are you okay?” You’re worried you did something wrong, or that you’ve hurt him somehow.

He shakes his head against yours, “Mm fine, you didn’t do anything wrong.” His voice is strained.

You sit for a second longer before you realise what had happened and it sets your face alight, “I’m sorry,” you rush out.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” He repeats, voice still strained, laced with lust.

You had grinded up into him absentmindedly, your mind dazed and looking for friction, resulting in you rutting up into him without thinking. His cock is firm and heavy against you, pulsing with need.

You go to apologise again but he puts his mouth on yours, silencing what you were going to say with a deep kiss. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead on yours again, “You did nothing wrong.” He reiterates.

Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest, you have nothing to compare it to but you have a feeling that kisses like that are hard to come by. “You’re a really good kisser.”

He looks down at you, amused by your comment, “How would you know?”

“Should I find someone else to kiss? To compare it to?” You tease him.

His gaze is firm, “No, you’re going to be my wife, the only person you will be kissing in the future… will be me.”

The words are possessive, and you think if you weren’t so delirious from his lips on yours, you would argue back against him but at the moment, you think you’re okay with never kissing anyone else, “Okay.”

He smirks at you, enjoying the look in your eyes. They’re wet and needy and he’s getting a lot of pleasure from seeing you like this, for him.

His lips are shiny from the kiss you shared and you can’t look away, wanting so badly for him to put his mouth back on yours, “Can you kiss me again?”

He doesn’t move and only looks at you, “I can.”

A few beats pass by in the quiet room, the only sound you’re able to recognise is the rapid beating of your own heart pumping blood through your head. He still doesn’t move, just watches you, you can’t tell if he’s having an internal conflict or if he’s teasing you. It’s starting to frustrate you though, and to ‘punish’ him for his inaction, the leg you have around his waist pulls him into you harder. Grinding him down into you, the feeling has you gasping, your breath stuttering in your chest.

Kuai groans at you but he also frowns, his hips dig into yours harder and pins your lower half to the bed. He gives you dark look, “Don’t.”

You don’t reply to him, your chest moving quickly with your huffed breaths. He watches you and the way you’re breathless for him, the look on your face and the warmth of your pussy through all the layers has him salivating. He is barely hanging on by a thread, his sanity shredding the longer he has his cock pressed tight against you.

His forehead drops to rest on top of yours, his lips ghosting your own, you move to press your mouth to his. A light kiss, it’s only a peck, it’s all he gives you but you want so much more, you’re hooked on his mouth, drunk on his kisses.

You almost beg him, “Kuai, please–”

He cuts you off with his mouth on yours, his lips urgent and needy, the kiss hot and heavy. Your brain buzzes, lost in the way he licks into your mouth, at the way one of his hands grab the plush skin of your thigh, his other lightly gripping your neck; holding you steady for him. He’s kissing you how he wants too, deeply and fully, taking over all your thoughts, filling your brain with only thoughts of him.

You can’t help the way you throb with need for him, your leg gripping him tighter, wanting him so much closer even though he is as close as he’s going to get. He hums into the kiss at the way you’ve started to grind into him again, your own noises shared in the kiss, small whimpers and quiet whines that he swallows down. Greedy for the small noises you’re making for him.

When he parts from you, you’re both breathless again, your shallow breaths intermingling together with your proximity. Kuai is giving off a thick heat, his skin warm to the touch, his head ducks into your neck and licks you. Ending with a small nip to your skin, he rests his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in and attempting to catch his breath.

With the way you move under him and the way your leg grips him tight to hold his lower half close, he is going to fall apart on top of you, his head full of depraved thoughts. Wanting so badly to fuck you into the mattress but holding himself back.

“Kuai,” you call to him again.

He groans into your neck, “Shh– just, I need a second.”

You’re confused by what he means, a moment for what? All you want to tell him is how badly you need him right now. “I want you,” your voice is small, as if being quieter will negate the fact that you didn’t give him the moment of silence he asked for.

His hips buck into yours involuntarily, “Fuck–”

A gasp is pulled from you at the friction, Kuai pulls his head from your neck suddenly, pulling back to look at you. His eyes are intense and you turn your head to the side so you feel less exposed to him but his hand grabs the side of your face and pulls it back so you’re looking at him again. He doesn’t move or speak; he’s just enjoying the expression on your face again.

His hips grind down into you and a small moan exits you, you’re unable to supress the sound even if you tried. Kuai’s thumb is on your chin, pulling slightly to ensure any noise you might make comes out.

He slowly grinds into you, the noises you’d rather he not hear slipping from you. You’re burning with need for him, pussy throbbing for more. His brows are pinched together, his breathing huffed, biting his lip to keep the noises that threaten to spill from him suppressed.

Your vision is blurry, tears in your waterline from how badly you want him to do more to you, your eyes pleading with him to just give you more. His hand moves from your chin and his mouth is on yours again, kissing you intensely, his mouth is hot. Everything about him is hot, his temperature so high he’s heating you up.

He rips his mouth from yours and pulls himself up completely, his hands removed from your body and resting himself up on his knees. You’re bewildered by the loss of him and whine, his eyes are on fire as he looks at you below him. Hands clenching into fists beside him, itching to touch you again, to touch your naked skin, to touch every inch of your body.

He’s taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself, “I think we should stop.”

“Why?” Your brows are drawn up at him.

He sighs, “You asked for a kiss and I delivered, we should leave it at that.”

You start pulling yourself off the mattress, weight held up on your elbows, “And if I want to ask for more?”

His eyes hold a warning for you, “Do not.”

You go to argue against him but there are loud footsteps walking to your room, ones you are all too familiar with. Your father is making his way to your room, you look to Kuai with wide eyes and he moves off the bed swiftly, adjusting himself in his pants and smoothing himself out. He’s trying to make it look like he wasn’t just dry humping you, while kissing you stupid.

Moving off the bed, you get to your feet in front of him, he smooths out your hair and clothes for you, his hand holds the side of your face for a moment and his thumb runs over your bottom lip softly. He’s caressing you gently, lost in you for a moment before your fathers loud knocks are suddenly heard on your bedroom door.

Kuai pulls away from you, coming back to himself at the sound of your fathers fist pounding on the wood. Walking around Kuai, you head to the door and open it slightly, enough to see your father but not enough for him to see Kuai further in the room, behind you.

Looking up to your father, you ask, “Yes?”

“I am looking for Kuai Liang, is he still with you?” Your fathers eyes try scanning behind you but there is nothing to see.

“No, he left a bit ago, maybe he is in the bathroom?” You offer as an alternative, trying to get him to leave and go the other way, away from your room.

He hums at you, considering you for a moment, “You know I love you right?”

“I– it doesn’t feel like it right now,” you tell him honestly, your trust in him completely shattered after today.

He looks tired, just so exhausted and like he might apologise, before his facial expression returns to its usual firm manner, “If you see Kuai Liang, let him know, I wish to speak with him.”

“Will do,” you agree hastily, hoping to end this interaction quickly.

He eyes you carefully and then eventually walks away; he seems to have so much to say but doesn’t know how to say it. It isn’t your job to force him to talk, though you might have to if you ever want to know his motivations behind all this. Whatever, it can wait until you aren’t a mess from Kuai.

Shutting the door, you turn around to see Kuai already moving for it to leave and find your father, “You’re going already?”

He pauses and turns to you, “Why?” And then leaning in close, he asks, “Would you like me to stay?” His tone is smug, expression cool and self-pleased.

You look away from him, “If I said yes?”

He sighs, hands coming up to rest on either side of your face, forehead leaning to yours, “I would like to stay.” He takes a moment, “But… I should talk with your father.” He pulls his head away from yours, still holding you in his hands.

Your face scowls at the mention of your father and Kuai’s thumb presses between your brows, massaging to release the tension. You relax your face but are still ultimately pouting at the prospect of him leaving.

He looks at you with a raised brow and you concede to him, “Alright, but try and ask him why it’s suddenly become so important I marry someone.”

“Yes ma’am,” he jokes, eyes lingering on you for a moment.

You aren’t sure why he’s looking at you so seriously but you understand when he leans in and kisses you so very gently, it’s short and only a little more than a peck but it makes your heart swell at how careful he is with you.

He hums when pulling back, “I don’t know if you have been told, but you’re expected to come back with me tomorrow.”

You’re taken aback, “I thought I had one more week?”

“I had asked for it but he changed his mind, earlier today.” He pulls back from you, giving you room to process.

You sigh deeply, feeling empty at this point, “Today has been too much, I’m not sure how to react at this point.”

“I’ll make you as comfortable as I possibly can, I want you to be happy there,” his tone is concerned, genuinely wanting you to be happy with him and with the Shirai Ryu.

You snark out, mostly joking, “I want to have, free will.”

“I will give you as much as I can manage,” he promises.

You tease, leaning towards him, “But kissing others–”

“–Is not on the table.” His tone is stern, expression unamused.

You smile at him sweetly, “I was joking, I will respect our marriage fully and completely”

“Fully and completely? And what exactly does that entail?” His expression is suggestive as he looks at you, subtly moving closer.

You feel nervous but can’t stop yourself from saying, “And if I said anything you wanted?”

“Then I would say, I’d like to test that,” His eyes are dark and lids low as he looks at you, not moving to touch you again but so obviously wanting to.

Your face grows warm under his stare, his voice has a lilt to it that sends shivers down your spine, “Didn’t you have to leave?”

He chuckles lowly at you before grabbing your hand and holding it firmly, “I want you to know… that I will be with you every step of the way and that you can talk to me… about anything.” He squeezes your hand once, in confirmation.

You squeeze his hand back and smile at him kindly, “Thank you… and you know… if you ever have anything you need to talk about, I am here to listen.”

Kuai takes several moments to look at you, and then decides he’s been holding off on leaving you for too long, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

You don’t really know what to say, you want him to stay longer but know he probably shouldn’t, “Yes, we will talk tomorrow, hopefully you will have more answers for me,” you jest, smiling up to him.

“Hopefully,” he squeezes your hand once more, assuring you that he will try to get more information. He leaves after that, going to catch up with your father.

And now, you’re left alone and wanting Kuai. You miss the weight of his body on top of yours, you’re also feeling confused about your feelings for him. He makes you feel warm and the way he kissed you has you wanting to obey his every will. But you are also confused about his feelings for you, his eyes seem so honest but he had said he had feelings for someone else just earlier today and now you aren’t sure what to make of that.

Maybe, you just need to sleep and move on from today, but currently, you are feeling better towards this marriage. Having spent some time with Kuai and spoken with him more casually, you feel better about things. Knowing he had good intentions behind his actions puts you at ease, clearly, since you just about let him hump you into submission.

It’s a little embarrassing that you were about to beg him to fuck you when you hadn’t ever been kissed before, let alone had sex but he has an effect on you that you’ve never experienced and even though you’ve known him for a while now, he’s never been this forward with you. Feeling desire for someone you consider a friend is weird right? You aren’t sure, you’ve never really desired anyone before, not like this.

There is too much swirling around your head. Ranging from, Kuai and his soft lips, his firm hands, his warm skin, his hips grinding into you, along with thoughts of his grip on your thigh, his eyes as he looked at you, his restrained manner of handling you. All your thoughts are currently of him… you need to sleep this off, before your thoughts become more depraved and you hunt him down and ask him so nicely to take you, right now.

Yeah, it’s probably a good idea to turn in for the night.

₊ ⊹

You spend said night tossing and turning in your bed, waking up every few hours just to roll over and be upset that you’ve woken up before an appropriate time, again. When you finally do fall asleep at some ungodly hour in the morning, you’re startled awake what feels like only a few moments later by knocking on your door. You groan out at whoever is there, not ready to get up, not when you had finally fallen asleep.

They don’t knock again, instead just letting themselves into your room, you peak a look and can see it’s your mother. Groaning at her again, you roll over, shuffling further into your sheets; you are not ready to start the day.

“Come on, it’s time to get up,” her tone is soft, trying to coax you out of bed with kindness.

Another groan, “I don’t want to get up, I am tired.”

She sits on the side of your bed and places a hand soothingly on your back, “You… you’re leaving today.”

“I know, Kuai told me last night,” you grumble at her, mood worsening at remembering the sudden change in plans.

Her hand rubs circles into your back, “I couldn’t change your fathers mind, I am sorry.”

It occurs to you, that your mother probably knows what has changed with your father to incur this sudden behavioural change. You shoot up in your bed and face her, “Why is he doing this?”

She hesitates, eyes sad, “He just wants the best for you.”

Your gaze scrutinises her, “There’s more, isn’t there?”

“I am telling you everything you need to know,” she replies, smiling at you sombrely before her face changes to a more enthusiastic expression, “Now, come on! time to gather your stuff.”

You flop back onto the mattress at her words, grumbling to yourself, you had forgotten that part of leaving would include… packing.

“It isn’t so bad, take your important belongings and some clothes, your father and I can bring over the rest after the marriage.” She pats your shoulder a couple times and moves around your room, looking for bags to put your stuff in.

Moving to watch her, you realise she’s trying very hard to make this easy on the both of you. Attempting to keep her expression easy and tone joyful but you can tell she is sad you are leaving home, especially so soon.

Sighing, you get up to help her, the least you can do is give her the same courtesy. You decide to offer her some words of comfort, “I will be okay you know? I like Kuai Liang, he is kind and I know some of the people in the Shirai Ryu already. I will adjust.”

She pauses what she’s doing and looks to you, “I know dear, I raised you well,” she flexes her arm at you jokingly, “Be strong and keep your head up. I know you will continue to fill me with pride,” She moves closer to you and places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing once, “You always have.”

Her words have you fighting back tears, you don’t want her to see you cry, you replace the look on your face with a strained smile, “I will do my best.”

“That’s all you ever need to do,” She pulls you into her for a hug, holding you in her embrace for a moment. You aren’t sure which one of you needs this more.

When she pulls back, she claps her hands together once and rubs them, “Alright, let’s get stuck into this.”

Rolling your eyes and supressing a smile you ask, “Where should I start, boss?”

She chuckles at you brightly and directs you on where to begin. It doesn’t take all that long to collect your most important stuff and pack it away. Anything left behind today will be picked up at a later date and even though you’ve not packed everything away, your room looks significantly more bare compared to before.

Your mother stops and looks around, “Well, I think that is about everything you will need for now.”

“Yeah I think this is good,” you smile at her.

She heads for your door, “You still have a bit of time before you have to leave, maybe have a nap, you look very tired.”

Shooting her a light-hearted glare you say, “Wow, I wonder why.”

She just smiles cheekily at you before leaving your room, presumedly going to tend to her plants, the garden may be wilting but she has a greenhouse with copious amounts of flourishing plants and flowers. The winter doesn’t stop her green thumb and it never has.

You listen to her advice though and the first thing you do when alone is get back into bed, not even making it the whole way up, just sort of flopping onto it and staying there. You’ve made yourself comfortable now, there is no way you’re getting up, not unless there’s a fire or something.

A few moments of peace is all you get before there is another knock on your door, “Are you awake?” Speaking of fire, Kuai has come to see you.

You huff face down into the mattress and mumble out, “You can come in.”

“What? I can’t hear you,” his tone is amused.

Grunting you hold your head up so your mouth isn’t pressed into the sheets, “I said, you can come in.” Your tone is exasperated as your head collapses back onto the bed.

The door opens and closes behind you and Kuai stifles a laugh at your body slumped on your mattress, not even bothering to make it to the pillows further up.

“Are you okay?” He asks tentatively, a little worried you’re going to snap at him.

Your words are mumbled again, “Mm fine.”

Kuai moves beside you and flops down too, laying on his back, “I spoke with your father last night,” that catches your attention and your head turns to the side to look at him, “Don’t get excited, he didn’t tell me anything new, just that it was important to him and that it is what’s best for you.”

You scowl at him, unimpressed with your fathers answer, “He’s starting to get on my nerves.”

“Starting?” Kuai asks playfully.

Your scowl deepens, “Whatever, leave me alone. I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

“I wonder why that is,” he says smugly, knowing it has something to do with him.

Turning back to the mattress, you hide your face from him, looking at him for too long is becoming your weakness. You can’t help it, he’s the one who looks so kissable, you might need therapy or something, these cannot be normal thoughts to have for a friend. Though, making out with a friend is also not normal? But then again, he is also your soon to be husband, this is all so frustrating.

Suddenly, you remember what you remembered last night, he’s in love with someone else but is marrying you out of kindness. He’s preventing you from marrying a stranger because of his concern for you but now you’re concerned about his happiness. But if he doesn’t like you, why did he kiss you like that? Was he just… in the mood or was he in the mood for you? GODS! men.

You must be grumbling to yourself out loud without realising because Kuai laughs beside you, amused at your internal conflict, “What are you worried about now?”

Sitting up, you tell him, “You actually,” he raises a brow at you, as if to say ‘oh?’, “You said you love someone–”

“–I never said I love someone, you did,” he interjects, also moving to sit up and face you.

You retort back, “But you implied it,” he keeps his mouth shut this time, knowing you’re right, “I am just confused? Worried? I mean… we kissed last night–”

“–I think it was a bit more than a kiss,” he interrupts again.

You look at him and don’t hesitate to say, “…Right, well that kind of adds to my point then doesn’t it?”

“And what is your point?” He’s pushing you to say what you mean.

“If you stopped interrupting me I could get there,” your eyebrow raises at him in admonishment, “I am just… I guess I’m just confused about what you’re feeling… because you love someone else… but then you…” you look away from him, “…You kissed me like that last night and I don’t know how to feel… I don’t know how you feel.” Embarrassment is seeping into every fibre of your being, feeling really exposed at being honest with him.

He intakes a deep breath, “I kissed you like that because I wanted to.”

Turning your head back, you shoot him a pointed look, telling him that what he’s offered is not enough, “Kuai–”

He stops you before you get even more annoyed at him, “–I love you.”

You’re shocked and have no idea how to react to that, “I–”

“–I kissed you like that because I love you and have for a while now,” he’s looking right at you, unashamed by his feelings, “I am not expecting you to feel the same, I am only telling you so you worry less, so you don’t think I am the type of man who kisses someone like that for no reason.” His words are filled with emotion but also stated as fact, he’s informing you of his feelings, not asking anything of you in return.

You heart stutters in your chest and you look like a deer caught in headlights, he doesn’t need you to feel the same but his sudden confession has put the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You calm your nerves to tell him how you feel, “I am not sure how I feel towards you–”

Kuai doesn’t let you finish your sentence, “–I told you; I do not need you to–”

“¬–Could you stop interrupting me?” You look at him exasperatedly, getting tired of not finishing your thoughts, “I am not sure how I feel towards you but I know that I like you… more than a friend, and I wouldn’t have let you kiss me like that if I didn’t.” Your gaze averts his, looking anywhere but his eyes.

He’s smiling to himself, “You like me?”

“I mean… obviously…” you pout slightly.

He hums at you and moves closer, pulling you to his chest by the back of your head, he holds you against him, “I can work with that.”

If he touched your face he would be able to feel the way you’re burning up, his confession and your own making you nervous and embarrassed. This is certainly not how you thought the past couple days would have unfolded but as Kuai holds you to him, you can’t help but feel okay right now.

You snuggle into him slightly, your arms wrapping around his torso to properly be held by him, “I am still feeling uncertain about the future… but right now, I think I am good,” your words are mumbled into the fabric of his shirt.

His chest rumbles under you, humming, “Whatever you are still worried about, I will be with you… every step of the way.”

Pulling your head back, you rest your chin on his chest and ask, “Promise?”

He looks down to you and without hesitation says, “Promise.”

His actions make more sense to you now and that fills you with relief, even if it also frightens you somewhat. Right now, is okay though, being held by him and being assured he’ll be with you, it makes everything okay… just for now, in this quiet moment between the two of you, everything is okay.

Raising yourself up, you push your face into his neck, feeling the urge to be closer to him, your arms also wrap around his neck. He pulls you to him by your middle, holding you firmly. You nuzzle into him, he’s warm and smells really good, he’s making you dizzy.

“You are really warm,” you breath out, words spoken into his skin. It almost feels like his temperature rises as you tell him.

His grip on you tightens momentarily, “You are torturing me.”

You don’t move from him, too comfortable and cosy to pull back, “How?”

Your breath tickles the sensitive skin on his neck and a suppressed shiver runs down his spine, a noise getting caught in his chest, he doesn’t reply to you though; choosing to ignore your question instead.

The sudden urge to cuddle further into his neck hits you but you don’t want to push his boundaries, so you start to pull away from him, mumbling out, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“That’s not what I meant,” his hands move to hold your face, stilling you so you don’t pull away from him anymore.

Your heart feels like it might beat right out of your chest, Kuai is looking you over, eyes examining your face, flitting over your lips carefully. You want him to kiss you, especially since all your thoughts have been consumed by the memory of him kissing you, how overwhelming it was, how good it felt.

His thumb strokes high over your cheek bone, hands gentle with you and so warm, adding to the heat already resting under your skin. The look in his eyes is the same as last night, the way he looked at you just before your father knocked on your door, a little lost in you. He moves towards you and you prepare yourself for his lips on yours but he moves his head to your neck, nuzzling into your skin.

You feel a little let down at the lack of his lips on yours until you gasp at the way he has latched onto your neck, not sucking hard enough to leave a mark but enough to have you reacting viscerally to him – not that it seems all that difficult for him to pull reactions from you anyways.

He moves to another patch of skin, leaving open mouthed, wet kisses on your neck, nipping every now and again just to hear the small sounds you let out and the way you twitch against him. Your hands grab at his back for leverage and your head tilts to the side giving him more access. One of his hands grips at your flesh, fingers digging into your thigh and massaging, his other hand on your back, keeping you in place for him.

A sigh passes your lips at the way his tongue licks up the length of your neck, a shiver running down your spine at the feeling. He hums in satisfaction to himself at your involuntary reactions, enjoying every second of playing with you.

He pulls your shirt to the side to reveal your shoulder, his mouth kisses along it, giving the same treatment he gave your neck. Though, his nips last a bit longer, not afraid to leave marks where he knows no one will see, his teeth graze your skin and it has a small whimper leaving you. His chest rumbles with a groan, not quite reaching the air but vibrating through him all the same.

Your quiet whimpers turn into a surprised moan when he bites your shoulder, his teeth digging in momentarily before he retreats, resting his forehead on your shoulder, “I’m sorry, I got carried away.” His voice is strained, his mind clouded with the sounds you make, the feel of your soft skin, he’s realising slowly that maybe he should stop putting himself in these situations with you. Clearly, he does not possess much self-restraint when it comes to you, especially not when you are so willing.

“Don’t apologise, I don’t mind,” your voice is shaky, both from him and from your nervousness at admitting you liked it, you liked the way he’s marked you. The dull pain of his teeth biting your sensitive skin set you alight, your pussy throbbing for him.

He groans properly this time, his skin growing hotter against you, his hand on your thigh gripping for dear life. “Don’t tell me that, not right now,” his voice is still tense, fighting every urge he has to fuck your cunt with his tongue. Fighting the urge to taste every inch of your body.

You mumble out to him, “I like the way you touch me.”

“That did the opposite of help,” he grunts out, his forehead still resting on your shoulder, too afraid to move because he knows the look on your face will make him dizzy. His thoughts only filled with depraved images of you, of all the things he’d like to do to you and seeing the wet, needy look in your eyes… will break him.

You sit quietly and let him rest up against you, his breathing evening out slowly but surely. He seems to be trying very hard to be respectful but if you’re being honest with yourself, what you want him to do to you is anything but.

Taking pity on him, you decide not to push and instead offer him a way out, “Kuai, I think we have to leave soon.” It’s not a lie, you are both due back at the Shirai Ryu.

“I know,” he says, pulling his head away from you, he shuffles back a bit too, putting some distance between the two of you, “Again, I am sorry.”

“And again, I don’t need your apology, I said I liked it and I meant it,” you’re doing your best to be confident in yourself, “Now, let’s get going or we’ll be late,” you cement, moving off the bed and to your bedroom door.

He watches you walk across the room, a bit stunned by you, turning back you look at him and raise a brow, “Are you coming?”

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” he replies, still sitting, you shrug it off and walk out the door.

You feel light-headed, the sensation of his lips and teeth still linger on your skin, you really would’ve liked to have spent a few more moments alone to see what he would do to you. He looked equal parts fucked and hungry and the thought of him taking you how he pleases sends a thrill through your bloodstream. It’s really too bad but you suppose you will have new opportunities to be intimate with him now that you will be living with him.

Kuai catches up to you eventually and you spend the little time you have left with your parents, going over last-minute things about the wedding and saying your goodbyes. You hold your mother for a long time and when it comes to your father, you would really rather not interact with him but you won’t be seeing him for a few weeks so you hug him anyways, as much as you are angry with him, you will miss him. Though, you don’t hug him nearly as long as your mother and there is an air of contempt surrounding you, directed at him.

Before you leave, you take one last walk around your house and the gardens, knowing you won’t be back for quite a bit. It’s not forever, you will visit but you’d like to commit as much of it to memory now, before you leave. Kuai joins you on your walk, keeping you company, he’s nice to walk next to, his body radiates warmth just to your left.

“You will be handy to have in the winter, I don’t handle the cold all that well,” you hum out to him.

He smiles to himself, “I will keep you warm.”

“I will hold you to that.”

When it is finally time to leave, your parents see you off and then you’re gone from your childhood home, starting a new chapter with your future husband. It’s bittersweet, mostly because while you are excited to embark upon and explore this new relationship with Kuai, you are also still feeling upset at your situation, at the choice that was ripped from you. But like your mother said, all you have to do – is your best, that is more than enough.

₊ ⊹

Being back at the Shirai Ryu is… overwhelming or maybe nerve wracking, mostly because you won’t be leaving, this is going to be your home now… Oh gods, this is going to be your home now. Your heart feels like it’s seizing in your chest and you grab for Kuai standing next to you, hand bunching into the side of his shirt.

He notices and leans down to you, “Are you okay?”

You look up to him, your eyes round, you’re panicking and you don’t know how to stop. You can’t find the words to express that, though. The only response you’re capable of is scared eyes and a shake of your head, this is all starting to feel so real.

“I have you, I’m right here,” Kuai pulls you to him, engulfing your frame in a hug, his arms holding you securely, “Everything is okay.”

The pressure of being held is helping to calm you but you’re still feeling frightened, “Okay, w–we should go…we have things to take care of,” you can’t help the slight shake in your voice.

“It can wait,” his chest vibrates under your ear as he speaks, “I’m going to keep holding you until you are ready.”

You focus on your breathing and trying to slow it, attempting to take deep breaths. With your head pressed to Kuai’s chest, you can hear his heartbeat, it is steady and calm, his breaths are deep and even and you find yourself matching them. His calmness helps to steady you, he’s such a sturdy person, you’re glad he is here.

Eventually, you come back to yourself but you don’t want to pull away from him just yet. Moving your face, you press your forehead into his chest, “Thank you,” you mumble against him.

One of his hands moves to your head and strokes the back of it, “Do you feel better?”

“Marginally,” you breathe him in, he smells nice.

He pauses in thought for a moment before enquiring, “Have you ever panicked like that before?”

You sigh against him, “Not for a very long time.”

Panic attacks are not something you are a stranger to, your memories of them very unpleasant but you had worked hard on yourself to get to where you are now. You’ve not had a panic attack this bad in a long time, not since you were younger.

“If you find yourself panicking again… look for me,” his hand tilts your head up, so your chin rests on his chest, “I will drop everything to help.”

You nod at him, confirming that you will find him, if need be.

Before you pull back, you lean up as far as you can and press a soft kiss to his cheek. When you step away and look at him, you think you see a small pink tint flushing his skin. You don’t get to look at him long though, he grabs your hand and walks you through the village properly, taking you to his home.

You’re familiar with his house, you like it, it’s homey and light, it very clearly displays that a man lives in it but it’s still nice. Kuai is a tidy person for the most part, only forgetting cups in some of the rooms he walks into, he has a bad habit of making a drink, taking it with him somewhere, placing it in that room and then walking out of said room without the drink. It’s endearing and not all that bad since he usually remembers at some point and cleans up after himself.

He leads you down the hall to his spare room, “You can stay in this room.”

Nudging his side, you say, “You don’t want to sleep next to me?” You’re joking, mostly.

“You are welcome in my bed anytime you want, dear,” he’s leaned closer to you, his voice low as he says it, suggestive in nature. Before you have time to be embarrassed and stutter out an answer, he moves back and pats the top of your head, “If you do want to sleep next to me, you are more than welcome, I promise to keep my hands to myself.” His tone has an air of humour to it.

“Thank you,” you mutter out, stepping into the room to place some of your stuff down.

Kuai also follows in, putting the rest of your bags on the floor in the corner of the room, “I know it isn’t much but I hope you will be comfortable.”

“It’s perfect, Kuai, thank you,” you’re being earnest, the room is perfect, it has everything you’ll need and that’s more than enough.

Something on the nightstand catches your attention, “Did you get that for me?”

He comes up beside you, “I did, is it okay?”

The big smile that breaks out across your face can’t be helped, “It’s more than okay, thank you,” you lean your head onto his arm, your fingers looping in between his.

He has gotten you a plant, a small but beautiful one, it sits in an ornate pot on the nightstand, right by a window. The plant is green and leafy, some kind of trailing ivy, your mother would know the genus, species, order, family, etcetera. She really is a plant genius and in a small way it has rubbed off on you, in the way that you love plants, you’re not nearly as scientific about it all.

Kuai thinking to get you a plant… it fills you with joy, he’s continuously showing you how much he cares for you and every time he does, it gives you pause, your own feelings for him buzzing under your skin. It’s only now that you recognise and understand, that these feelings are not how you are meant to feel for a friend, you hadn’t considered liking Kuai like that until you had wanted to kiss him.

Being able to recognise them doesn’t make it easier though, if anything it makes it harder, having all these feelings for him and not really understanding how to express them. It certainly doesn’t help that your situation is not exactly… orthodox.

Looking to him, you can’t help the mass amounts of affection you are feeling for him right now, “Kuai, I really do mean it… thank you.”

“It’s just a plant,” his eyebrows scrunch at you, equal parts amused and confused by your heartfelt sentiment.

Your answer is simple, “I know.”

Kuai squeezes your hand before leaving the room, giving you the chance to settle in for a moment. You unpack a couple things and put your clothes into the dresser, you don’t really want to unpack though and so, instead, you end up flopping onto the bed and star-fishing out across the mattress. It’s a nice mattress, not too shabby, nothing to write home about but it’ll get you a good night’s rest.

A little less than half an hour passes by and Kuai comes back to check on you, only to see you sprawled out on the bed, “Done unpacking, already?”

Looking to him, you complain, “It’s boring and I don’t want to do it.”

He raises a brow to you, “How much did you do?”

“Most of my clothes and a couple other things,” shrugging, you add, “What can I say? I packed light.”

He wordlessly looks down to your other bag sitting in the corner, completely untouched.

You shake a hand at him dismissively, “I’ll unpack as I use things.”

“I foresee that annoying you,” he comments.

Scowling, you bite back, “Guess what’s annoying me right now.”

He fights back a laugh and instead asks, “In that case, are you ready to see the others?”

“Come help me up,” you beckon him over with a limp hand.

He lightly rolls his eyes at you but moves to help you up all the same, one of his hands grabbing yours and pulling you to your feet.

“Why, thank you very much,” you joke, patting his shoulder as you leave the room, you can hear the exasperated sigh he lets out from down the hall and it makes you stifle a laugh.

�� ⊹

You’re meeting Harumi, Tomas and Raiden in a small garden area, it’s not fairing any better than your mothers, everything either dead or dull. It’s cold and you really would rather be inside, you pull your sleeves down over your hands, your fingers needing the small reprieve from the cold.

When you see Tomas he immediately pulls you in for a hug, happy to see you for the first time in a while, “It has been too long, how have you been?”

“I’ve been better,” you chuckle against him.

The hug lingers for a bit and Kuai clears his throat lightly from behind you, Tomas pulls away quickly at the sound. His hand lands on your head and pats you, “It will be nice having you here,” his smile is kind.

You appreciate his compassion, “Thank you, Tomas.”

Raiden moves in for a hug next, holding you and telling you lowly, so only you hear, “If you need anything, we are here for you.”

Pulling away you give him a look to convey gratefulness but don’t say anything verbally. Kuai moves to stand closer to you, his side brushing yours at how close he chose to stand. You appreciate it, the warmth is already radiating off him and you shuffle the tiniest bit closer to him, seeking more of his warmth.

Before you have a chance to make a note of Harumi’s absence, you hear her voice calling to you all, “I am here! Sorry, I got held up.” She moves in to hug you quickly, “It’s good to see you.”

You smile politely at her, feeling uncomfortable, from the cold and also from her, Kuai may not love her but you don’t know how she feels, “It’s good to see you, too,” you echo her sentiments.

Everyone starts chatting to one another, talking about their days and such, you really would like to listen but the cold is creeping into your veins and you feel like you might start shaking soon. Kuai must notice because he leans down to you, “Cold?”

“Very,” you press out, tone strained from the chill in your bones.

Kuai’s hands grab either side of your arms and rub up and down, trying to help warm you, “I think we should head inside,” he announces, “Tomas, is your house clean?”

Tomas looks up and away to think on it for a second before Raiden intervenes, “I cleaned earlier.”

Tomas turns to Raiden to thank him, but you don’t hear the rest of their conversation, Kuai has already begun walking the pair of you in the direction of their house, wanting to get you inside as soon as possible.

“You should wear more layers,” he notes.

“Maybe I wasn’t expecting to stand out in the open,” you huff out in reply.

You make it to Tomas’ house but the others haven’t caught up to you yet, so now you’re just cold in a different area. You move from foot to foot, trying to keep moving, hoping the movement will warm you up. Kuai watches on, amused by your fidgeting.

“This is your fault,” you grumble, “Fix it.”

He looks at you with a supressed smile on his lips and a puzzled look on his face, “And how am I meant to do that?”

“I don’t know! Warm me up… give me a hug or something,” you’re being a bit dramatic but you’re really cold.

He breathes out a small laugh but does hug you, his arms wrapping around you fully, holding you close to him. He’s so warm, in his arms is so much nicer than in the cold. You nuzzle into his chest, humming in contentment, “You’re so warm, so nice,” you mutter out against him.

A hand moves from your back to the side of your face, his palm warming your cheek, “Your face is very cold, you weren’t lying about not handling the cold well.”

“I would not lie about something like that,” his palm is large against your face, you close your eyes and lean into it, savouring his heat.

You don’t see him move but you feel his lips against yours, the warmth and sudden contact makes you gasp in slight shock. His lips aren’t being demanding, he’s being tame right now. The kiss is still enough to make you dizzy though, warm and full, you think maybe he just makes you feel like that. You kiss him back earnestly, your hands tugging at his chest.

As much as you want it, he doesn’t kiss you any deeper, not willing to risk being seen by the others in such a state. He also wants to kiss you more; he wants to see the look on your face after he kisses you stupid, he just doesn’t want the others seeing it too.

When he pulls back, he says, “Your lips also looked cold.”

“Dumb,” you retort, pressing your forehead to his chest again.

You can feel his quiet laughter move through him, “Did it help?”

“…Maybe.”

You don’t wait much longer for the others, you half expected Kuai to remove you from him when they got within eyeshot of you both but he doesn’t, he lets them see how he’s holding you, how you’ve latched onto him.

Tomas asks, “Are you okay?”

“Mm fine, jus cold, lemme inside,” you grumble out at him, words muffled by Kuai’s shirt.

When the door is finally opened you’re the first inside but you are disheartened when you realise it’s still cold in here too, “Why is it so cold in here?” You whinge out.

“It is not that bad,” Raiden comments.

“You’ll warm up,” Harumi laughs lightly, patting your shoulder on her way past you to the kitchen.

Tomas apologises to you with his eyes but you turn to Kuai and point at him, “Come here.” He pretends to be apathetic towards you, stoically moving to your side, “Just stay close by, please,” you ask, giving him your best and prettiest begging look.

“Mhmm,” he agrees easily, his expression extremely self-satisfied, loving how this has all been playing out.

Your hand reaches for his, trying to be as slick as possible, not really wanting the others to make comments on it. Kuai easily grabs your hand when he realises what you’re attempting to do, not bothered by the others and only really wanting to keep you comfortable. His large hand is heated and comfortable and while it doesn’t warm your whole body instantly, it sure does help a whole lot, his closeness is making this cold bearable.

The afternoon is spent all together, drinking tea and chatting, seeing everyone is nice, it’s been a while since you’ve spent some time with them and you had missed it. Kuai makes sure to stay close the whole time, just like you had asked him to, he truly does radiate heat. You think maybe he’s raising his own temperature just to keep you comfortable; you’ll have to remember to thank him for it later.

At some point, Kuai gets up to grab you another drink, you had told him you were fine but he was already standing and walking into the kitchen. Now that he had finally detached from you, everyone focuses their attention on you. Suddenly, you’re feeling very nervous under their eyes.

Tomas breaks the quiet, seemingly voicing what they all want to say, “What’s going on between you and Kuai?”

You don’t really know how to answer that, “I am not sure what you mean.”

“Are you two actually together now?” Harumi clarifies for you.

“We know he is marrying you because of your father,” Raiden adds.

Tomas directs his attention to Raiden, “Not just that, he loves her–”

Harumi gives Tomas a look, scolding him wordlessly for outing Kuai’s feelings for you.

The cold may not be a problem anymore, not with all the heat in your cheeks. You don’t answer straight away but your lack of a reaction to what should have been a bomb drop gives away your knowledge of Kuai’s feelings for you.

Harumi points at you, grinning, “You already know.”

“What? How did you know?” Tomas asks, surprised.

Raiden’s expression is unamused and sympathetic, feeling bad for you at their prying, “You do not have to answer, it is between you and Kuai.”

Tomas agrees with Raiden, “Yes, but also…” he leans in closer to you, over the table, “Tell us.”

You change your expression to an unreadable one, completely stoic as you lean in closer, “He told me.”

When Kuai walks back into the room, your drink in hand, he sees you and Tomas leaning in closer to each other across the table, he raises a brow at the pair of you, “What happened while I was gone?”

“Nothing,” they all chime out together.

You say nothing though, silently sitting back in your chair, Kuai moves to his seat next to you, sliding your tea across the table and then looks at you, waiting for you to tell him. Glancing around the table, you can tell Tomas is silently begging you not to tell him.

You turn to Kuai and smile, thinking of a lie to cover up the reason you were leaning over the table, “I was winning a staring contest against Tomas.”

“I doubt that,” he replies quickly.

Now you’re offended, “And what do you mean by that?”

“If you are going to lie, learn to do it well,” he teases.

“I can lie well,” everyone grumbles in disagreement and you gasp in faux hurt, “I can,” you insist.

“You really can’t,” Raiden says.

You frown at him in response.

“It’s only because you do not lie often, you are confrontational…” Harumi adds, her words trailing off when she looks to Kuai and see he’s shaking his head lightly at her, informing her of her poor word choice.

“I am not confrontational,” you pout out.

Tomas tries placating you, “Of course not, you are just… direct?”

Kuai changes the topic and places a hand on your shoulder, “Anyways, if you were going to pick a lie, you should have picked a believable one, you are very bad at staring contests.”

You look at him and scowl, squinting your eyes at him in anger, “I am not going to say anything because I am not confrontational.”

Everyone at the table is immensely amused by the way this has all unfolded, wearing smiles while you sit with your arms crossed, slightly annoyed at being called confrontational… again.

“It’s not a bad thing,” Kuai insists, a hand moving to pat your head, stroking you in an offer of comfort.

Everyone at the table agrees, trying to make you feel better.

Even though you disagree that you’re confrontational, it’s nice to be amongst friends. You let go of being upset pretty easily, mostly because you weren’t all that upset in the first place, you know they were just joking around.

Both you and Kuai don’t stay much longer after that though, leaving back to his house after another hour or so passes, it was good seeing them, you hadn’t realised how isolated you had been feeling at home until you spent some time around friends. Being here might be a good thing.

₊ ⊹

The night is cold and it’s keeping you awake, the blankets you have are not enough to stop the chill from creeping in or the shivers that run through your body. You think back to earlier today when Kuai offered his bed to you but you feel hesitant to take him up on it, that would be weird right?

Another shiver shakes your body and you decide you don’t care, you are cold and he is a fucking furnace, you are getting into his bed. You move quickly, not wanting to give yourself time to change your mind and also not wanting to feel the cold for too long.

You make it to his room, your footsteps rushed and quiet, you walk up to his side of the bed. Your hand goes for his shoulder, wanting to gently wake him but before you have a chance to call his name and shake him lightly, his hand shoots out and grabs yours.

It startles you and makes you jump, “Geez, sorry–”

“–Are you okay?” He questions, sitting up quickly to check you over.

You’re still shivering, the cold so much worse without a blanket on top of you, “I–I’m fine… never mind, don’t– don’t worry about it,” your words are stuttered slightly, your teeth chattering, ���Sorry for wake–waking you, I am going back to bed.”

He frowns sleepily at you, his hand still holding yours, “You’re cold,” he observes.

Another shake wracks through you and he grumbles disapprovingly at it. His hands grab you, pulling your body to his, taking you with him as he lays back in the bed, before rolling to his side. You are laying down facing each other now, his warmth already so welcome. He grabs the blanket, bringing it up around you properly and then he’s shuffling closer, an arm slinging over your side.

His heat makes you hum, “Thank you.”

He only mumbles his response, mostly sounds and not really words. You press your body as close to his as possible, your cold feet tangling with his and he grunts at it, “Why are you so cold?”

“Because it is a cold night,” you mutter out, “We do not all have magical fire powers.”

“You going to be in my bed every cold night?” His voice is thick with sleep, eyes closed.

Pressing your head to his chest, you answer, “If it bothers you, then no.”

“It does not bother me,” his response is quick.

“Kuai?” he hums at you, telling you he’s listening, “Did you make yourself warmer today? When you were next to me?”

He’s quiet for a few beats, “…Yeah, I did.”

“Thank you.”

“You thank me a lot,” he comments.

“You do a lot of things that I am grateful for, I do not know how else to express that,” you sigh, your body finally relaxing, Kuai’s heat finally removing the chill that had settled into your bones.

Kuai holds back from saying the first things that enter his mind, his sleep addled brain immediately thinking of suggestive ways you could thank him, “You don’t have to thank me for the things I choose to do for you.”

“Of course I do,” you’re resolute in your reply because of course you do, who wouldn’t thank someone for their kindness, “Are you saying, that if I were to do something out of the kindness of my heart for you, you would not thank me?”

He immediately disagrees, he would thank you for anything you did for him, “No–”

“–Then why would I not thank you?” You cut him off, already knowing you have won and made your point.

“Just go to sleep,” he grumbles.

You laugh lightly, happy with your victory.

The conversation naturally dwindles though and you find yourself slipping into unconsciousness. With Kuai keeping you warm all night; it is probably one of the most pleasant slumbers you have had in a long time.

₊ ⊹

The past week has been good, you have been a bit home sick, longing for your mothers cooking and company but you have been settling in okay. The days aren’t boring, you have the company of Tomas, Raiden and Harumi. Most often, you have been with Raiden, he seems to have more free time so you spend the day with him more than the others, he is nice company. Though he is quiet and you feel annoying when you talk too much. Sometimes, leaving the interaction wishing you had just been quiet instead.

Kuai has been good to you, he has cooked for you a bit but you have also cooked some nights. Mostly because he is not the best at cooking, you are not going to tell him that though. You’re appreciative of everything he has done to help make you comfortable, you are not about to tell him that his cooking is not good. Because it is okay, it is edible, it’s just not… yummy.

He’s been out today, you would have gone with him but it’s too cold for you, even with him by your side. Some days you can bear it but not today, no, instead you have had a hot shower, like as hot as you could make it without burning yourself. Which you love, the hot showers help with the cold so much but with the cold air, you’ve been worried about your skin drying.

It’s annoying to do but you endure the cold so you can rub moisturiser into your skin, this isn’t so bad and quite pleasant in almost any other season but standing in only a robe with panties underneath, a leg up on the bed, rubbing moisturiser into your skin, during winter… is fucking freezing and you just wanna rug up and get warm.

You don’t even hear Kuai get home, not until he’s standing in your door frame and almost choking on his spit, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” he turns around, arguably not as quick as he could, eyes lingering on your leg perched atop the bed.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s fine, I’m only moisturising,” you dismiss, not really all that bothered by him seeing you like this. Though, you did think there was more time until he got back, you would have closed your door if you knew he was going to be home soon.

He turns back around, now that he knows you are fine with his presence and moves across the room to you, “How was your day?”

“Mmm, it was fine… cold, I was alone for most of the day though,” your hands rub at your thigh, massaging the cream into your skin.

Kuai’s voice sounds a little distant, “You did not see Raiden today?”

You only realise why he sounds so distracted when you look to him, his gaze set on your leg, intently watching the way your hands massage at your thigh, “If you like watching so much, why don’t you do it for me,” you joke, not really meaning anything by it.

“I will,” he replies quickly, eyes flicking up to lock on yours, “If you let me.”

Your brows upturn at him, a little confused by his eagerness but it’s not like you’re having fun doing it yourself, “Okay.”

He rounds the bed, moving in front of you; your leg comes down and he lowers himself onto the mattress, tapping your thigh once he’s sat, asking you to put it back up. You do, your foot resting on the bed again, right next to him. You were not expecting this position and it feels incredibly revealing.

He grabs the moisturiser off the bed and pumps some into his hand, eyes looking to yours to check if you’re really okay, before beginning to rub it into your calf. He starts lower on your leg, fingers pressing into your muscles, moving up and down. Eventually, he drags his palms up your leg, reaching your thigh, his fingers grip and pull at the skin and muscle, his hands travelling high up, the pressure feels good.

His hands are warm, the cold not a problem anymore, not with how he’s warming you, not with how intimate this feels, you honestly were not expecting this to feel so… arousing. The higher his hands travel the more your skin heats, seemingly Kuai is having the same problem, his hands growing hotter against your skin the more he rubs the moisturiser in.

Once it’s been absorbed, he asks you for your other leg, which you give, swapping sides for him. His eyes don’t leave your lower half, very carefully watching your thighs, you remember in the back of your head how much he seemed to like gripping your thighs while kissing you.

This time it looks like he’s grabbed more moisturiser, “Kuai, that’s too much, it will take forever to rub in.”

“That’s fine,” he mumbles out.

You insist, “No seriously, my leg can only get so moisturised.”

His eyes look up to yours, “I will find somewhere else to put it,” his eyes drag down your torso with his words, the implication causing blood to rush to your face.

He starts with your calf again, the product slipping all over your skin, he really had grabbed too much. It doesn’t stop him though, his hands move up to get it on your thigh and then his hands are rubbing into your skin again, trying to get it to rub in. Even though there is a surplus of product on you, he persists, massaging you the same as before. It feels good and as he rubs into one spot on your thigh, a small, gasped whine passes your lips.

His fingers are firm as they dig into you, his hands traveling higher again, the sounds that slip from you can’t be helped. You do supress them as much as you can, mostly stopping them in your throat. Kuai pushes all the moisturiser on your calf to your thigh before tugging you to sit in his lap.

You gasp lightly, surprised, “What are you doing?”

“Too much product, going to put in on your other thigh,” he states, his hands rubbing your other thigh again.

The way you’re straddling him is even more exposing than the position you were in before, the lower half of your robe split open now, your panties completely revealed to him. Luckily, your upper half is still covered, you might have fainted if he had your tits in his face while he massaged your thighs.

Kuai is very focused on your thighs though, his hands digging into both of them at the same time, massaging your inner thighs. You’re sensitive where he’s touching, especially like this, your hands hold onto his shoulders, repressed whines getting stuck in your throat. Your thighs twitch under his hands, he moves them further up, all the way to your hips. His hands slip under either side of your panties and rub into the skin of your hips.

Most of the product is absorbed now but Kuai’s hands still travel up and down your thighs, he’s setting you on the edge, his hands exploring you have you almost shaking on top of him. You’re so aroused at this point, pussy wet and needy and he’s only been massaging you.

He still doesn’t stop touching you and you end up pulling his head back by his hair, making him look you in the eyes, “Kuai, please.”

The look in your eyes makes him groan, he hadn’t realised how much of an effect he’d been having on you, mostly touching you for his own enjoyment. He pulls you to him so that you’re sitting in his lap, you twitch and pant at the feeling of his hard cock against your covered cunt.

“Sorry,” he mutters, “Got distracted.”

“Not that, I’m really wet now,” you tell him, not caring for apologies, instead wanting him to do something about it.

He moans at your confession, his hands gripping your thighs harder, his eyes dark and lustful.

“It’s your fault,” you accuse, accurately. “Fix it.”

“And how am I meant to do that?” He smiles cockily up at you.

You decide to snark back, “Are you worried you won’t be able to make me cum?”

His smile doesn’t falter, not falling for your bait, “Yes, I am, why don’t you show me how you do it?”

“Kuai, please,” you plead with him instead, eyes begging him to do something to you, “Do whatever you want to me just– please do something.”

“Whatever I want?” He checks and you nod your head, “And what if I want to do nothing? Leave you a needy mess like this? Then what?”

“Then I will cry,” you answer and you wish that upset him but he seems to be even more pleased at that comment, “You are mean.”

“I am not, you’re just soft,” he retorts.

You grind your hips down into his lap, your pussy rutting against his cock, he chokes on a sudden moan and grips your hips, stopping you from moving.

“Now who is mean?” He asks, voice strained.

“Still you,” it’s grumbled out with annoyance, you’re becoming sexually frustrated.

You decide to try and be meaner, one of your hands leaving his shoulder and dipping into your panties, running through your folds, when you hit your clit you moan and twitch atop of him. His eyes are watching you, small groans vibrating in his chest.

You pull your hand away from your pussy, showing him just how wet you are, fingers coated in your slick. His immediate response is to grab your hand and shove your fingers into his mouth, licking them clean, his mouth hot. You whine at him, he’s officially back to being meaner than you. You feel like a big mess, wet, sticky, needy– downright desperate for him.

He removes your fingers from his mouth, tongue licking at them a final time before pulling away, “That was mean,” he blames.

“Please, Kuai, I will take anything– just make me cum,” you’re back to begging.

He smiles evilly at you, “No.”

“Why not?” Your eyes actually well with tears, threatening to spill.

He holds the side of your face and coos, “Because having you wet and needy on top of me, is really doing it for me.”

“You are evil,” you pout at him.

“You seem to like it,” he’s still smiling at you, like he’s got you in the palm of his hand… and at the moment he does, if he’ll promise to get you off, you’d do just about anything.

He pulls your face to his, lips locking with yours, kissing you deeply. His tongue licking into your mouth, his warmth overwhelming you. His hand on your thigh digs in, holding you firmly. You moan into the kiss, your hips trying to grind down into him again, succeeding marginally. He gasps against you and lets you rut down. Enjoying the friction himself, just as aroused as you are, just better at hiding it. His cock twitches in his pants and you whine into the kiss, wanting so badly to be filled by him.

He pulls away from you, something occurring to him, “Has anyone ever made you cum?”

You’re panting against him, “I hadn’t even been kissed Kuai, take a guess.”

A large smile breaks out across his face, ecstatic at the fact that he’ll be the first person to make you cum, “Mmm, I will make you cum then.”

You perk up, “Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll have you cumming in your little panties for me,” he says it easily but the words embarrass you just as much as they arouse you.

His hands grip either side of your hips and begin dragging you up and down his covered cock, the head of it catching on your clit and making you keel over, your head landing in the crook of his neck, hands holding his shoulders.

Your hips help, moving back and forth with his pace, the friction delicious, it has you salivating for him. He’s gasping out groans under you, enjoying this just as much as you are. He moves his hands to your thighs, spreading you wider on him. His grip stays on your thighs, obsessed with them, with their softness.

You press a light and wet kiss to the skin on his neck, the feeling sends a shiver down his spine, his cock jumping against your cunt. His hands are hot against your thighs, the heat radiating off him suffocating. You muffle your moans into his neck, embarrassed by how whingey and desperate you sound.

Your panties are completely ruined, so slick they’re stuck to your cunt and slipping against the fabric of Kuai’s pants. He pauses for a moment and you whine against him, he shushes you in response. He only stopped to pull his pants down, still in his boxers but wanting less layers between you.

When your pussy comes back into contact with his covered cock, he groans out loudly, mind drifting far from him, if he thinks too hard about how wet you are or how desperate you are for him, he might end up fucking you stupid tonight.

He begins grinding you down into him again, losing his mind at the new feeling, of how much better it feels without his pants on. Without the extra layer, his cockhead catches on your pussy hole through your panties and he groans like he’s been gut punched. You wiggle down on him, seeking penetration that won’t happen, not with all the layers.

You sob into his skin, so horny and wet, you’re drooling onto his shoulder and neck, saliva coating his skin. He keeps rutting you down on top of him, desperate to have you cumming for him. His mind only filled with how you must sound when you finish, how you’ll sound moaning his name.

You can’t think of anything, only thinking of his cock rubbing through your folds and catching on your clit. Every other thought you might have, dying before you are aware of it. You’re shaking against him, getting close to your end, your stomach tensing, cunt fluttering around nothing. Your whines breaking off into nothing, choking on all the sounds you want to make for him.

Kuai notices, “So close aren’t you? Fuc–”

He gets cut off by you biting him, your teeth digging into the skin on his shoulder, you’ve bit him as you cum, his words pushing you over the edge. Your first, thoughtless response being to latch onto him, a way to try and ground yourself. His cock spasms at the feeling, his own orgasm rocking through him, his nails bite into your skin, holding you to him firmly as you both finish at the same time.

He groans loudly, his orgasm shocking him, not expecting to cum so suddenly. You’re limp against him, your teeth no longer imbedded into his shoulder. You pant and shudder against him, aftershocks wracking through your body. He pulls you back, only because he needs to see the look on your face and when he does, he smiles brilliantly at you, overjoyed by your expression.

Your eyes are all gooey, cheeks tear stained, you look like an absolute mess for him and he thinks if he hadn’t just cum, he could cum just from seeing you like this. He tucks you back into his shoulder and holds you to him, letting you regain your strength before trying to move either of you.

You feel dizzy and lost, “It’s never felt that good before.”

“Mmm just you wait,” he retorts humorously.

You still twitch against him slightly but you pull yourself back and press a full kiss to his lips, your tongue licks into his mouth, his hand grabs at your face, letting you kiss him how you please, a moan passing from him to you. You pull back from him properly, sitting in his lap looking at him, feeling a little bashful now.

“What was that for?” He asks, eyes glassy.

You smile sweetly at him and say, “That was a thank you.”

He smiles affectionately at you, his eyes dopey and in love, “You should always thank me like that.”

You bop him on the nose with a finger, “Okay.” Apparently, an orgasm makes you agreeable and happy.

He shakes his head at you in amusement before asking, “Have you eaten yet?”

“Nope, waited for you.”

“Let’s eat then,” he says, picking you up as he stands.

You squeal at him as he carries you down the hall like that, you’re stuck to him, clinging on for dear life, scared you’ll fall but also trusting that he won’t drop you. The whole house is filled with your shared laughter.

₊ ⊹

The next couple weeks are more of the same, you spend a lot of time in Kuai’s bed, seeking his warmth most nights but nothing happened between the two of you. He seemed to be trying to control himself better around you, it would have bugged you but things had honestly been busy. With the wedding approaching fast, you had other things to worry about and your anxieties started peaking their ugly heads again.

And now that the day is here, you feel wracked with nerves the whole time, it hadn’t been so bad… not in the beginning. There were a few hiccups, like the awkwardness between yourself and your father, you’re still holding resentment against him, especially since his motivations remain unknown to you.

Your father had seemed… sombre, when no one was looking there was a sadness looming around him, you aren’t sure what exactly could be the reason for it and you would ask but he wouldn’t tell you either way. He’d only say that it is rude to ask someone why they look run down.

There was one point in the day that you tried talking to him but he had only brushed you off, giving you shallow pleasantries and congratulations. It hurt, to be pushed aside when you had concerns for him, you think the least he could have done was entertain a polite conversation with you but he was not at all interested in talking with you, not in the way you needed him to.

You had also tried asking your mother about your father but like you predicted, she gave away nothing. Instead, she focused on you, how you were feeling and settling, how you were going with Kuai. It was nice to see her, to talk with her properly, you have been missing her company. You also tried a few more times to get her to tell you what was wrong but she’s a tough nut to crack and she continued to assure you nothing was wrong, maybe you are looking too hard for things that aren’t there.

Kuai had been with you most of the day, trying to stay by your side and make sure you felt okay but he had people coming to talk to him a lot, he eventually got pulled away from you, not too long ago actually. Now, he’s probably stuck in a conversation somewhere; one you do not care to stick around for.

This whole day has been uncomfortable and you’re nervous, the future in front of you now and you have no idea what happens after. What changes now? You are aware nothing has actually changed, only the legality of your betrothal to Kuai but things still feel scary, everything feels scary and you feel small. It feels like you may be having a panic attack again.

You scan the crowd for Kuai but fail to find him and instead rush to find a quiet place you can hide for a moment, somewhere you can calm your thoughts and focus on your breathing. It doesn’t help though, now you’re alone with your thoughts, the quiet a welcome change from the overstimulation of being around people but not helping in slowing your thoughts.

All your anxieties are still there, just somehow louder without all the other noises happening around you. You start hyperventilating, now freaking out about not being able to calm down. And you’re frustrated, you have enjoyed your time here for the past month, you feel less isolated, you feel cared for, Kuai makes you feel cared for but you are not coping with the change well, you are not coping with your fathers betrayal well. You are not coping well, not right now. Right now, it feels like the world is caving in around you.

Tears are streaming down your face and you wish they would stop, it will mess with the makeup you’re wearing and then people will have questions, oh gods, what if they have already noticed your absence? What if people are looking for you, what if someone finds you here like this, all sad and pitiful… you might die on the spot, from mortification.

Footsteps can be heard nearby, getting closer to you, it has you holding your breath and standing stock still, hoping the bushes and pillar will be enough to hide you from whoever is in the area. They keep approaching though, their steps seem rushed, like they’re looking for someone, great, they’re probably looking for you.

Kuai rounds the pillar and sees you, he rushes out a sigh of relief, happy to have found you, “I have been looking all over for you, are you okay?” His hands cradle your face and his thumbs gently rub the tears off your cheeks, attempting to fix your makeup.

“I couldn’t find you, I did look,” your voice is shaky, threatening to cry again.

Truthfully, you feel relieved to see him too, his presence immediately bringing you a kind of comfort you hadn’t realised was gone until he was back beside you. You had been leaning on him all day to help keep you together more than you thought, you knew he helped make all of this easier but you hadn’t realised just how much him being near helped you.

“Come here,” he pulls you to him, holding you in a hug, keeping you safe, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You don’t really but you’ll try your best to tell him anyways, “I got scared, nothing changed but it also feels like everything has changed. I am worried about my relationship with my father, I feel betrayed by him… and I guess… I have not been coping as well as I thought I had been.”

“You have been doing remarkably well, considering the circumstances,” his hands rub your back, “You have been doing your best, you have been adjusting as well as anyone can, I am in awe of your resilience, dear.”

You sniffle out, “I worry that I am becoming a burden to you, Kuai.”

“You could never burden me,” he leans down and presses a small kiss high on your cheekbone, when he pulls back he looks you in the eyes, his gaze intense and sincere, “I love you.”

The reminder of his open love for you takes your breath away, he does not repeat it often, only when he thinks you have forgotten it. Only when he thinks you need to hear him say it, he needs you to know how highly he thinks of you, how beautiful you are to him, how amazing you have been throughout all of this.

You never know how to reply to him, saying thank you feels dumb, so you kiss him. Leaning up to him, you press your lips to his gingerly, careful and tentative as you do. You hadn’t kissed during your ceremony, it’s not tradition but in the quiet area you have found, where it is just the two of you, you share a soft kiss, one filled with your appreciation for him and his love. Parting is harder than it should be, every time you kiss him, you hope it will last just a little bit longer.

“You are my husband now,” you comment.

He smiles softly at you, “That I am.”

You both head back to where everyone else is, once you’ve calmed down, he stays with you the whole time and offers you reassuring words. You would have loved nothing more than to go home and be done with the day but you soldier on and get through it.

It is uneventful, more of the same but this time Kuai makes sure to stay close by you, a part of him touching you the whole time. His hand always on you somewhere, whether it be on your back, shoulder, hand, knee, he’s there and he’s making sure you remember it.

Ultimately, he is what gets you through today and you are so grateful to him.

₊ ⊹

After everyone leaves, you’re back at his house… well your house too, it feels a little weird to say though, especially since you feel like you don’t contribute much. His house has been feeling more homely but you can’t tell if that’s his house or him, you think you may just be feeling at home with him.

You shower first, needing to get out of everything and into something comfortable, when you’re finished, you head to Kuai’s room. His door is open and he’s lying on his bed waiting for the shower to be free.

“I am done,” you walk to his side and his hand grabs yours, squeezing once.

He hums at you, “Thank you,” his form moves off the bed, his body brushing up against yours as he slips by you to head in the direction of the shower.

You’re feeling a little odd, you could just go to bed, or even get into his bed and sleep off today but you know people usually celebrate their marriage. It may not be a ‘traditional’ marriage but you would like to sleep with him, he sets your skin on fire, he fills your head with dirty thoughts and… well, you don’t really have any good excuse… he makes you horny and you want him to fuck you.

Sighing, you crawl onto his bed and into the spot he was just in, it’s still warm and cosy. You sit and think about things as you wait for him to come back but all you’re really thinking about is how much you’d like to be filled with him, how hot his skin must get, how vocal he may be. No matter how hard you try to think of something else, your mind wonders back to him and his toned body under you, or above you. Your thighs subtly rub together, seeking friction.

When Kuai come back into the room, he’s wearing his pants low on his hips, he’s shirtless, chest bare and still has some water trailing his abs, his hair down and damp, you can’t help the way you stare at him. You try, you try really hard not to make it obvious but by the way he raises a brow at you, you know you’ve been caught red handed.

You speak before he has the chance to be mean, “Aren’t you cold?”

He hides his smile at your question, “I run hot,” he notes, obviously.

You feel silly, “Right…”

“Was today okay?” He sits down facing you, a hand landing on your knee.

You’re actively having to fight off the shiver that wants to shake your whole body, “It was fine, with you beside me.”

He hums at you in acknowledgement, his hand gripping your knee once before pulling away.

Telling him you want to sleep with him is hard, you haven’t actually tried saying anything yet but he picks up that something is bothering you.

“Did you have something you want to ask me?” He raises his brows to you, encouraging you to ask what you want to.

Biting the bullet, you decide to be direct, “Don’t we… have to consummate our union… or whatever?” You feel very awkward and you’re having a hard time looking him in the eyes.

“We don’t have to,” he replies.

You feel dejected, like he has outright rejected the idea of sleeping with you, “You don’t want to?”

He’s quick to answer, “I want to,” he looks at you, eyes dark, “You know I want to.” His gaze looks like there is a fire raging inside, feelings for you burning just under the surface, “But only if you want to.”

“I want to,” you’re fiddling with your own hands, nervous, “It’s just that, it’d be my first time.”

“Maybe we should wait,” he offers.

“For what?” your brows upturn at him, “I want it.”

He closes his eyes to think for a second, trying to be respectful even though you’re in his bed, asking him to fuck you, on your wedding night. His focus is on trying to keep enough blood in his head so he can think. Not realising that you’ve shuffled closer to him, not until your hand reaches for his wrist and shoves his hand down your panties. You’re resting on your knees for him, legs spread just enough for his fingers to slip through your pussy lips.

He groans, like he’s been punched in the stomach, “That’s just not fair.”

“Trying to show you I want it,” you mutter out, bashful.

He’s weak, how could he resist you when you’ve pushed his fingers to your cunt, your very wet cunt. He drags the tips of his fingers through your folds, spreading your slick all over yourself, you gasp in response and grab onto his shoulder, his skin hot under your hand.

He focuses on where his hand is under your panties, wishing you weren’t wearing any, “I can tell you want it; I still have reservations.”

“Is it because– hah–” you’re cut off by his fingers carefully circling your clit, your nails lightly dig into his skin, “–is it because –mmph– I’m a virgin?” You gasp out, wanting to understand his hesitation.

“Partially,” he hums, his other hand moves to grip your thigh, trying to stop your twitching, “Also because I like your neediness for me, wonder how far I could push you.”

You frown at him, thighs trembling at the stimulation he’s providing, “That would be cruel–”

“–It would be, yes.” He cuts you off only to agree. He looks to your eyes, they’re blown out and glazed and as much as he enjoys taunting you, he would also enjoy getting his dick wet.

You can’t help the way your pussy flutters at his words, you wish you didn’t enjoy how mean he seems to be when it comes to the bedroom. He’s so very often gentle with you and the change in attitude when it comes to this topic affects you in a way you can’t really explain. He knows though, especially since your cunt got so much slicker at his teasing.

He pulls his hand away from you and you whine at him, “I am not going to fuck you–”

“Why–”

He shoves his fingers covered in your wetness into your mouth, effectively getting you to shut up, “Because…” his eyes are set on how your lips wrap around his fingers, on the way your tongue slips between them, licking him clean, “…I said so.” He doesn’t offer anymore explanation.

He pulls his fingers from your mouth slowly, enjoying the view of your lips around them. Once he’s able, he pulls you to him by the back of your neck, his lips harshly meeting with yours. His tongue licks into your mouth, tasting you, he’s fervent, insistent. Mouth hot and the kiss wet, you can only let him kiss you how he pleases and whine into him, he’s overwhelming you and not giving you much of a chance to do anything else.

His hands push at your robe, wanting you to take it off, it slips from your shoulders and pools around your waist. His lips don’t part from yours but his hands move to grab at you, palming your breasts, massaging at you. His fingers pinch at your nipples, rolling them, you break the kiss, moaning louder than you were expecting to.

The sound embarrasses you and your hand moves off his shoulder to cover your mouth, Kuai grunts in disapproval but continues playing with your tits, focus solely on them. You gasp and whine from beneath your palm, your body jerking in response to him. You press your chest forward into his hands more, his eyes are dark and glazed, lost in how big his hands look on your tits.

You pull your hand away, enough to pant out, “Kuai –hah– I can’t– please, I need more.”

“Wants and needs are not the same thing,” his voice is low and gravelly, eyes still on your tits.

You push his hands away from you and stand up on wobbly legs, your robe falls to the floor properly and you push your panties down your legs, kicking them off your feet. Kuai is in awe of you, eyes trailing every inch of your body.

“I know that, and I meant what I said,” you huff at him, you passed want a while ago, you need him now. His hands grab for you but you step away, staying just out of reach, “I need you, please.”

He nods at you quickly, “Mhm whatever you want, just come here.”

You move within arm’s reach of him again and he pulls you down to the mattress, your head lands on the pillows and you laugh in shock. He leans down over you and presses his lips to yours, kissing you quickly. And then he gets off the bed to pull his pants down, freeing his hard cock. He’s large and thick and you think that taking him is going to be… a challenge for sure.

You must look concerned by his size because he says, “Calm down, I meant it when I said I wasn’t fucking you.”

You grumble at him, “I could take it.”

He chuckles, “I am sure you could, not tonight though.”

You’re confused as to what’s happening, “Then what are we doing?”

He crawls back onto the bed, over top of you, and nuzzles his face into the side of yours. His lips press light kisses to your skin before pulling back to look at you smugly. “There are other ways to get off,” he states, matter-of-factly.

“But I want to be…” you trail off before mumbling out, “…full.”

His head drops to your shoulder, and he grumbles lowly about how you’re trying to kill him, or how you’re really testing his patience. Taking a deep breath, he looks back to you and says, “Roll over, onto your side.”

“What? No please?” You joke.

He squints at you and then just flips you onto your side himself, he tucks in behind you, essentially spooning you. His hard body presses into your back, he holds one of his hands out to you, “Spit.”

You do as you’re told without thinking twice, immediately spitting into his palm. He sighs quietly and takes his hand away from you, soft clicking sounds can be heard behind you and Kuai groans out, his head landing on your shoulder. He fists at his cock for a bit, getting it slick for you.

“Keep your thighs closed,” he directs, deep voice by your ear.

His cock slips between your thighs, spreading your pussy lips open on his thick length. You gasp at the feeling of his dick running along your cunt, the head lightly grazing your clit as he slips against you. He moans into your shoulder at the warmth of your pussy, his cock jerking at how wet you are for him.

He breathes in as he pulls back, his dick slick with you. He pushes in between your thighs and you gasp out a whine at how his tip hits your clit. Kuai starts a steady pace, thrusting backwards and forwards, his dick sliding against your pussy. Looking down, you watch the way the head of his cock pokes out between your thighs, you clamp them together as much as you can and Kuai’s hips stutter, a moan pulled from his chest.

You’re leaking against him, his dick sliding easily through your folds, his breath sputters at the plushness of your thighs, at the slick of your creamy cunt. The tip of his cock oozes thick globs of precum, his arousal driving him insane. His hand grips onto your hip, holding you still and needing to ground himself.

Your hips move with him, your need for him heightening. He’s so hard and pressed right against you, it would be so easy for him to change his mind and push inside. Moans and whines spill from you freely, your hand reaches back and tangles into his hair. Kuai presses his head to your shoulder, his pants and moans right next to your ear.

“Kuai –hah– can’t you just –nngh– put it in,” your eyes burn, like the pleasure might make you cry.

He groans into your neck, “No –nngh– I couldn’t –hah–”

He is right, with how big he is and the fact you’ve not had sex before, there is no ‘just’ putting it in. But even though he’s right, your horny brain doesn’t care, “Please~”

“No,” he bites back, “Now stop asking or I’ll stop.”

You whinge at him and even though you want to keep protesting, you think better of it, knowing he definitely would hold off on his own pleasure just to torture you further. Kuai mouths at the side of your neck, getting carried away and sucking at your skin, no doubt leaving behind some dark marks.

He’s getting lost in feeling of your wet cunt and soft thighs, “You’ve got such –hah– soffft skin –fuck– pussy is fucking dripping –nngh– for me.”

His slightly slurred and growled out words drive you mental, moans getting stuck in your chest from how you try to stuff them down. You rock your hips back against him, desperation clawing up your spine.

Kuai’s hand pins your hip to the bed, holding you down, wanting you to stay steady so he can fuck through your thighs how he pleases, “Be good and stay –hah– still.”

Your cunt jumps against him, you’re throbbing for him, your thighs slick and a complete mess, both from his precum and your arousal. You’re frustrated from the lack of fullness, your pussy begging for his cock.

“Kuai~ please –hah–” you let yourself trail off, remembering his threat.

His thrusts speed up, the glide easy, meeting no resistance with the complete mess made of your lower half. You can feel the growls in Kuai’s chest and hear the gasping noises he’s making against your skin, his tongue licks at your neck before he whispers to you.

His voice is low and grumbly, broken only by gasped moans, “Bet you have the tightest little cunt –nghh– probably have me cumming just from filling you –hah–”

You tug at his hair and he moans into your ear the sound has your pussy quivering for him, all the sounds he makes sets you on fire. His hot skin holds you close to him, making you feel faint. And then his mouth is back on your skin, leaving behind more marks.

The sounds you try to stuff down drive him crazy, you’re trying so hard to be quiet but can’t help but make noises and it’s not only boosting his ego, it’s making his cock throb for you. He has half a mind to cave and fuck you open on his cock right now.

Kuai’s cognizance is far from him, his thoughts only focused on your slick cunt and thighs on his cock. He slurs out to you, “You’re such a –hah– pretty little thing –mmph– my pretty little thing –nghh– my pretty little wife.”

You gasp and twitch against him, hearing him refer to you as his wife has your head buzzing, something primal in you loving being referred to as such. Your stomach fills with butterflies, his words doing things to you that you don’t really have the wherewithal to understand right now.

You’re getting close to finishing, your pussy twitches and your stomach clenches, your hand in his hair holding on tighter. He groans into your neck, his own end sneaking up on him. He’s losing his mind at everything, everything about how he’s fucking your thighs right now has him going crazy.

His dick spasms between your legs and his teeth bite into your neck, the feeling a shock, it runs down your spine to your cunt. The blunt pain pushes you off the edge and you cum on Kuai’s cock, choked moans pulling from your chest. You gasp and whine, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes. Your mind is gone as you cum on him, the only thing slightly grounding you is the feeling of Kuai’s hot skin and his tongue as he licks at the bite mark he left behind.

The way you jolt against Kuai and how your thighs seem to clamp tighter have his own orgasm slipping from him. His cum landing on your thighs and his bed. He groans loudly into your skin as he cums and he finds himself wishing so badly that he had cum inside you. He nips at your skin some more as he comes down, enjoying the way you jerk against him as he does.

The hand he had on your hip wanders over your body now that he doesn’t have to hold you down, he pulls at the skin on your thighs, at your tits, and when he reaches your face he wipes the drool away from the corner of your mouth.

He checks you over, “You with me?” You hum out to him in confirmation, and he adds, “Good, cause I’m not done with you.”

His words send a thrill through you, what else could he possibly do to you?

He pulls his cock from between your thighs carefully and then pulls you to lay on your back, he positions himself over you. You’re so pliable now that you’ve cum, letting him manoeuvre you however he pleases. His hands push your thighs open and he’s breathless at the sight, you’re a mess, slick and cum coating your thighs and cunt. He groans out at it, his mouth pooling with saliva, he wants to put his mouth on you so bad.

His fingers drag along your skin, collect what cum he had gotten on you, and then his fingers are pressing through your folds. He’s playing with your pussy, coating it in his cum. A single finger prods at your entrance and slowly slides inside. The grip you have on his single finger almost has him going feral, the fact you wanted him to fill you with no preparation makes him nearly laugh.

You gasp at how his finger has pushed into you, not expecting it but enjoying it, finally having something inside. He gently moves it in and out, slowly fucking you, your thighs try to close at the stimulation but Kuai body between your legs stops them from getting too far. His free hand moves to your thigh and holds you open, his gaze greedy for how open you are for him right now.

He can’t stop thinking about how you would feel split open on his cock, how you would leak around him, how tight you must be and how fucked full he’d make you feel. His skin is buzzing, his cock hard for you again. His finger retreats and you whine at him, the sound you make has his heart racing, you sound so fucked out and cute.

“You make such cute little noises,” he hums out to you.

“Why–”

He shushes you, “Just lay there and let me play with you.”

Gods, he’s going to kill you, your cunt jumps at his words and your stomach twists in knots. The things he has been saying tonight have you gnawing at the bit, wanting him to stop because it’s embarrassing and also never wanting him to shut up because it’s arousing you.

Kuai’s finger collects more of the cum he left on you and then he pushes it inside your cunt, he’s finger fucking his cum inside you and it’s going to make you faint. His finger crooks up inside you and your hands move to cover your mouth, loud moans threatening to rip from you.

Kuai only smiles at your reaction and hums, “Can try and be as quiet as you want, won’t work.”

Your pussy clenches down on him at the sound of his voice and his smile grows larger, he’s enjoying watching your reactions to him, loving the control he has as he fingers you. His pace has been steady and consistent but with his own need to see you cum clawing up his spine his hand speeds up, fucking you faster and harder, his head filling with images of you cumming for him.

He’s thinking about how tight your little cunt will grip him as you finish and how you would feel cumming on his cock. His eyes are glazed and blown, fucked out and he’s not even fucked you. You’re gasping underneath your hands, eyes rolling to the back of your head and spilling tears. The sight has Kuai enamoured, relishing in the way you’re crying over his single finger.

He crooks his finger up to hit a specific spot inside you continuously and it has you cumming with a suppressed shout. Kuai was right, you grip him tight as your cunt spasms around him, your body twitches and your thighs quiver.

As he pulls his finger from you, all your slick and the cum he pushed inside oozes from your convulsing pussy hole. He tuts at you in mock disapproval, you’re not really sure what he’s referring to though, you’re still panting, trying to catch your breath after your second orgasm.

When you’ve regained some of your faculties, you look to Kuai and see the absolutely fucked out look on his face. His eyes glassy and wet, focused on your pussy, his cock fully erect again. He doesn’t look all there at all, like his thoughts are a million miles away from him.

“My pretty little wife has made a mess all on my sheets,” his words are slurred together, “gonna have to clean it up,” his hands run along the insides of your thighs, “You gonna let me clean it up?” He finally looks to you, his eyes bordering on feral.

You nod shakily at him, words failing you right now.

At your approval he’s immediately shuffling between your legs, you don’t know what you were expecting but you’re shocked when he gets on his stomach and pushes your legs open as wide as they will go before licking up the whole length of your pussy. Your stomach jumps in delight and shock, your hand moves back to your mouth to cover the moan that he pulls from you.

He’s lapping at you like a starved animal, not really cleaning any mess but more… making an entirely new one. Your head is up in the clouds, not able to focus on anything but how it feels to have his tongue lick at your pussy. His mouth then suddenly latches onto you, his tongue entering your hole and drinking down all of your cum.

His face presses as close to your pussy as he can possibly get, his nose up against your clit makes you clench down on his tongue and a loud groan rumbles from deep in his chest. The vibrations of the noise he makes has you crying out, your hand doing little to stop it. Kuai’s hands hold onto your thighs, gripping them tighter at the sound you make.

You’re practically panting for him, your hips rise and fall, attempting to ride his face. He holds you down, his mouth fervent on you, hot and wet. The noises that fill the room are embarrassing and obscene. Lewd, wet noises of your cunt and his mouth enter your head and you twitch in response, your skin heating at the realisation that it’s your pussy making those noises.

Your hand is getting damp from how you drool at Kuai’s tongue in your pussy, eventually you can’t take it and need something to grip onto. Your hand moves from your mouth and tangles in his hair, the other gripping at the pillows above you. The moans and whines he pulls from you are falling freely now, unobstructed and just as embarrassing to you as your messy cunt.

When you tug on his hair accidentally, he groans into your pussy, his tongue moving more desperately. Kuai’s hips rut into the mattress below, not able to stop himself from seeking friction. His head fully invaded by you and your cunt. He’s almost whining into your pussy, obsessed with how fucking slick you are, how you seem to just keep getting slicker.

His nails bite into the skin on your thighs where he’s holding you open; you’re shaking like a leaf for him. Your whole-body trembles with how sensitive you are and he’s happily tongue fucking you through it. He doesn’t stop making small noises of pleasure as he licks into you, his hips still rutting down into the bed.

Your whines hit a higher pitch, your hands grabbing and letting go before grabbing again, your orgasm is on the tip of your tongue, or on the tip of Kuai’s tongue and it feels like too much. Your limbs want to flail but Kuai is holding your legs still, not at all deterred from getting you to finish.

“Kuai~ It’s –hah– too –mmph– much,” you cry out to him.

You don’t know if he chooses to not acknowledge you or if he’s so far gone that he doesn’t notice, but he continues tongue fucking you into the next dimension. The relentlessness has you crying now, tears falling freely at the overstimulation. You’re shaking so much and it truly feels like you need to run away from the feelings you’re being given. But even if you try to wiggle away, it doesn’t work, Kuai uses barely any of his strength to hold you still. He grunts into your cunt in disproval, the most communication he’s given since he first put his mouth on you.

A gasped whine is let out as you cum, your pussy spasms around Kuai’s tongue and he moans out at it, nearly whining into you again. His tongue fucks you through it and his nose presses to your clit, he shakes his head lightly to encourage the stimulation. He drinks down your cum while groaning, enjoying himself immensely, ecstatic that he’s finally gotten to shove his tongue inside you.

He pulls back from you, not wanting to overstimulate you more than he already has. You don’t even feel conscious anymore, vision dark and unfocused. The thing that brings you back to your body is Kuai biting at your inner thighs, he’s leaving marks on you, teeth biting in hard enough that an impression of his teeth will be left behind for a while. You let him do it, not really present enough to move anyways and even if you were, you like the marks he’s left behind, you like how possessive he seems to be in bed. It screams to that primal part of your brain.

Kuai pulls back to look at you and the marks he’s left on your thighs, he smiles to himself, full of pride. His hands gently smooth over your thighs before he moves up the bed to lay next to you, he pulls you to your side and hold you to him. You close your eyes, your body soft and pliable, like a ragdoll.

“Are you still with me?” He asks.

Without opening your eyes, you retort, “Are you?”

He chuckles at you but is also sheepish, “Yeah, sorry… I got carried away.”

“Don’t apologise, I liked it,” you mumble out to him, “a lot.”

He presses a kiss to your forehead, “Good.”

You remember that he was hard again and open your eyes to look at him, “Do you need me to… are… do you need help?” You have a hard time phrasing your question.

He looks away from you, his cheeks a light pink, “I am fine…”

You object, “But you didn’t–”

“–I did.”

Your eyes widen in understanding and then you feel incredibly hot in the face, “Oh.”

He hums at you and changes the topic, “Are you satisfied?”

“For now,” you smile cheekily at him.

He leans down to you and presses a soft kiss to your lips, “I think… you might be trying to kill me.”

“I think it’s the other way around,” you raise a brow to him.

“Mhmm,” he dismisses before leaning in to kiss you again.

His lips are gentle and he’s being tender with you, kissing you sweetly after making you cum for him three times. His warm hand skates along your skin, the action raises your skin and you press closer to him, seeking his warmth.

He parts from you and pulls the blanket over the two of you, your hand tangles in his hair again, this time brushing it with your fingers, playing with it mindlessly. You end up scratching at his scalp lightly and he melts for you, enjoying the feeling. You play with his hair for a while but everything is heavy, including your eyelids.

You pull your hand from his hair and instead wrap it around him, tugging him close, he tickles your back as you fall in and out of sleep, you aren’t sure how long he stays awake for but wrapped in his arms, warm and content, you drift to sleep not too long after he presses a small, final kiss to your lips.

₊ ⊹

A/N: Thank you for reading the whole thing, holy cow !! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope it fulfilled everyone’s expectations. As always my inbox is open for questions, thoughts and feelings, don’t hesitate to slide in. I hope everyone has a beautiful day/night and I will now be preparing to write just friends part 2 !! <33

[finelinevogue]

overwhelmed

summary - you’re overwhelmed but luckily you have harry

pairing - boyfriend!harry x reader

word count - ~1k

“Hey, I came as quick as I could.”

Harry was ushered inside by Maya, your best friend. Harry was wearing joggers and a baggy hoodie - since it was 2AM and he had been sleeping.

“I’m actually slightly scared. You live like twenty minutes away and I only got off the phone with you like twelve ago…” Maya chuckled, shutting the door behind them.

“Yeah I might’ve already been out of the door and in the car by the time our phone call ended.” Harry rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Well you certainly win boyfriend of the year.”

“Speaking of, where’s Y/N?”

“Curled up on the sofa.” Maya showed Harry the way through.

“Still upset?”

“It’s scary how she doesn’t run out of tears…”

Harry chuckled because he knew all too well.

Maya showed Harry to where you were curled up on the sofa, blanket tucked high up your body and tissue in your hand. You were staring at the room - not particularly looking at anything.

“Thanks.” Harry smiled at Maya and she took it as her queue to hang back in the kitchen.

Harry rounded the sofa and slowly came into your line of vision, not wanting to startle you.

“Hey, my pretty girl.” Harry smiled when he saw your puffy eyes and red cheeks from crying so much. “What’s all the fuss about, hm?”

“Harry.” You pouted and then started to cry again, cupping your hands over your eyes because you were so embarrassed he was seeing you like this.

Your relationship was 5 months new and even though you’d already had arguments and cried in front of each other, it’d never been like this.

This was full on sob and snot crying.

You didn’t even cry like this on your period.

“Hey, hey. What’s this about?”

Harry did in fact know what this was all about, after being rung by Maya when she’d gotten concerned about how much you were upset.

What’s strangest about this situation is Harry knew you weren’t even upset by something that had hurt your feelings. If anything, you were upset because you were feeling too much.

“Hello?” Harry answered the phone groggily, wincing as his eyes adjusted to the bedside lamp.

“Hi Harry. I’m sorry to wake you.”

“No, no it’s fine. Is there a reason you’re calling off Y/N’s phone, Maya?”

“Harry… Y/Ns a little upset.” Harry sat up in bed then, “Actually, a lot upset. I didn’t want to call but i’m getting kind of worried.”

“What’s happened? Is Y/N okay? Are you guys safe?”

“Yeah we’re in my house. It’s just, we had quite a bit of wine to drink and got to talking about relationships and then Y/N started talking about you. At first she was all giddy and happy but then she started getting herself worked up about how perfect you are and how she doesn’t think she deserves you.”

Harry liked the thought that you liked him a little bit more than you lead on, but he didn’t like that it came at the expense of your anxiety. Anxiety you had tried so hard to overcome from previous relationships.

“Can I come over?” Harry asked, already getting himself out of bed.

Harry sat on the sofa next to you, picking you up gently so he could situate you in his lap. You didn’t take long to become comfortable, by throwing your arms around his neck and burying yourself into the safe crook of his neck.

“Ssh, shh. I’ve got you.” Harry kept repeating.

He rocked you ever so gently, just allowing you the comfort of being held.

“You’re here.” You said after you’d settled slightly.

“I’m here.”

“You’re the best.”

Harry smiled at that.

“I like to think so.”

You stroked his chin stubble, finding a strange calmness to the grizzle.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.”

“No, but I am.”

“I don’t want you to be. Means you’re sorry about the reason you were upset in the first place and I actually quite liked the fact you maybe like me a little too much. If i’m being selfish.” Harry gave you a cheeky smirk that had you calming in an instance.

“I just got so overwhelmed.”

“I know.”

“Because… B-because….”

You looked up at Harry in his not-so-scary eyes and for once you found this part of a relationship easy.

“Go on.” He encouraged with a whisper.

“Because I love you.”

You smiled and felt your cheeks flush. Harry’s face copied your emotions and he leant down to give you a welcomed kiss.

“You love me?” He asked excitedly, kissing you again because he couldn’t deny himself.

“I do.”

“Hmm.” He giggled excitedly.

“Do you… do…”

“I love you. I love you. I fucking love you, Y/N.”

It was your turn to chuckle and let the tears well up in your eyes again.

“No, no, no. No more tears.” Harry was quick to rectify the situation by kissing you again, moulding his lips to yours like that’s what they’d been created to do.

“I feel five times more overwhelmed than I did before you arrived.” You said.

“Okaayyy…”

“But I also feel five time more safe and calm than I did before you arrived.”

[rapunzelbro]

Imagine Lucifer and Adam fighting over you

I would like to start off by saying sorry in advance. I have no clue about religion, if purgatory is the right term or if I’m understanding this correctly. This was what term showed when I asked in between hell and heaven. If I am not accurate please please correct me. Request: would u do a adam x reader x lucifer where basically there fighting over the reader to try and win them over to be in hell or heaven

Master list Tag request

When you died you never thought you’d end up in fucking purgatory of all things

You did you not want to deal with any of that shit? You just died and now this?

You had the option to follow through on correcting your small sins you had left, or honestly say fuck it and go live your life in hell.

You couldn’t give one less of a fuck but two specific people did and it confused the fuck out of you

Lucifer and Adam

Adam was the first to meet you since you were technically one step in the door but also at the same time not. You appeared at his doorstep practically

He explained a lot of what happened, and why you couldn’t exactly stay in heaven or hell.

He shared the remaining sins that remained for you, and how to get them forgiven,

Bud actually was willing to help someone for once?

Wtf did you do get him to help someone who is not himself? Holy shit

You only had a 4 or so left by the time you found the Hazbin hotel..

Now Lucifer was intrigued by your situation. Not many people got to that state, to his knowledge

He knew a lot about you already to begin with he totally didn’t stalk you and was pissed about the time you spent with Adam

Found out you ended up at the Hazbin hotel, since you had no real space to stay since you could go to heaven if you pleased, but not looked well upon

Charlie told him about the whole situation to try and get his advice on it all since she really didn’t know how to go about it but she desperately wanted to help you

He didn’t want to help you with your final sins though, he wanted you to stay for himself. He would never let his daughter know that.

He spent time with you often encouraging your ass to do stuff that sinners would do but you’re just so stuck on what to do so you often don’t do the things.

Lucifer and you bonded more than you and Adam

Dude just told you constantly about how horrible it sucks down there in hell

Annoyed you even more since he didn’t let you stay in heaven after saying that?

But oh yeah it’s fine because he goes down to see you🥰

What the fuck man

If you ever needed a place to stay Lucifer was always there. Even if you didn’t feel like staying at the hotel

If wanted to talk about the shit you have left to do to get into heaven he will listen

While he didn’t agree with your initial decision to finish your sins, that doesn’t mean he didn’t still care about you regardless of what you end up doing

When you got to your final sin to pass through the gates of heaven, that’s when Lucifer stepped in

“What the actual FUCK are you doing here sinner?”

“Bitch you know why I’m here”

Lucifer and then arguing over your ass while you’re just there chilling like wtf?

“Y/n do you really want to be stuck up there with this douchebag”

“Do you really wanna be with The Most Hated Being in All of Creation!”

Those two screaming at each other while you are just watching the two trying to debate on what you should do

The people of heaven who knew of you, didn’t like you in the slightest because you were never going to be a true angel in their eyes

The people in Hell couldn’t give one less fuck about your situation. You had so many friends down there who you considered practically family now.

Both giving you the most desperate looks both wanting you to go with them

“Lucifer.. I’m going with you”

The second you say that your appearance goes from the weird hybrid you were stuck in to being a full blown demon.

Adam is fucking crushed and pissed sending you two the fuck out insantly

Lucifer is so happy

“Wow you must be a mega turnoff since even all girls like what have to offer more than you~”

Gladly takes you back to his place, he has yet to explain to Charlie that you gave up on redemption.

He doesn’t want to break it to her but knows he will have to soon

But for now you picked him over that bitch and that’s honestly worth it.

Lucifer/All Taglist: @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @katshyperfixations

@aphestina @satansmanager @irethepotato @mixplara

[delulu-is-da-solulu]

𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓽.:｡+•

Pt. 2

2k12 Donnie! X fem!reader

Pt. 1

AN- In this chapter I was kinda just trying to establish your relationship with the turtles and April. So if you don’t like it I really am sorry. But hopefully part 3 will be better. Enjoy! <3

Word count - 1046

Well the whole mutant thing went down last month, and you’re still trying to process what happened. I mean to go on a walk and almost freeze to death, just to be saved by a girl you couldn’t even call a good acquaintance and her mutant friends! Turns out the whole rat thing happened because they made a crazy scientist guy mad, or they did something to piss him off… and their dad is a rat, he’s cool.

Because you don’t go to school you’re in the lair with the guys a lot, and you’ve gotten to know them better.

Leo is such a dork, not in a smart way like Donnie but in a funny way. He tries sooo hard to be a good leader so he copies the ones in cartoons, like spock from startrek, and robin from teen titans. And the reason this is so dorky is cuz it’s so obvious what he’s doing, and when his training exercises don’t go according to the plan, (aka if it doesn’t make him look super cool) he gets soo pissy (but his brothers can never know that). Nothing that a pizza can’t fix, ya’ know if Mikey doesn’t Finnish the whole thing within a millisecond, of it being in the lair.

Raph isn’t as angry as everybody says, his anger issues aren’t even that bad. Sure he’s aggressive, but that’s mainly during fights or whenever Mikey is a ten foot radius of him. For the most part he’s pretty chill, & keeps to himself, plus spike.

Everyone made sure to fill you in on the Donnie and April situation, and the weird way he was acting when the two of you first met, instantly make sense. After you informed him that you and April weren’t close, and telling her how great of a guy he was, wasn’t gonna help much, he was devastated. But other than his obsession with April, he’s a cool guy. most times when you’re in the lair, you and Donnie are hanging out in the lab. He helps you with your math and science homework, and you help around the lab in whatever ways possible. Working with Donnie is fun, and he trust you enough to let you in on his schemes to try and win over April. They’re incredibly weird and you doubt any of them will work, but! they’re interesting.

There’s never a dull moment with Donatello. he’s funny- if you get the joke, and the more time you spend with him, the harder it is to not get it. And then there are days when nothing happens, the two of you just hang out in the lab while Don works on blueprints while you’re reading.

And Mikey is kinda gross, but honestly the sweetest thing you’ve ever met. He gets bullied by his brothers a lot, but he’s so nice, the boys are soo mean. Sometimes you and Mikey watch romcoms, or action movies together.

You and April were never friends but she’s actually fun to be around, you, April, and Irma, go out out all the time. Shopping, movies, or just hanging out, it’s so fun being with those two.

And master Splinter doesn’t talk much, but for as much as you know, he’s just a dad making his Sons friends feel welcome in their home. And he taught you how to play shogi, you’ve gotten really good.

Ginger: “Irma had to go home, something with her cat. Wanna go to the lair instead?”

Damn this was disappointing, April and Irma were gassing this movie up sooo much. You made sure not to watch trailers or anything just so you’d be completely blind. But it’s just a movie.

Snow globe: “It’s fine. I’m omw to the hole rn, meet you there <3”

You went back upstairs to put on your old combat boots, then you started making your way to the lair. You love the boys and splinter, they’re great. But doing down into piss, and shit, with your knee high converse, that were around $100 was not! gonna happen.

You met up with April, and the two of you talked about whatever while walking to the lair. School, family, clothes, things weren’t weird until she brought up boys.

“So did you have a boyfriend, or a crush before shit hit the fan?”

“U-h well…” romance wasn’t exactly a topic you were comfortable in. I mean you’ve had crushes but none of them turned out good, and some didn’t even turn. “No, I have a problem with making friends with people I have crushes on. And when I do confess if I do, we’re usually too close of friends for them to reciprocate.” You let out a chuckle trying to make it look as if you don’t care much. “What about you?”

“Uhh… well you know the whole thing with Donnie. And ive gone on a couple dates in my time, but they never ended up anything. So I guess we’re in the same boat.”

“Yeah. I feel bad for you honestly. Donnie’s soo nice, and I love hanging out with him, and you’ll never see that side of him. But at least you have Raph, Leo, and Mikey.”

You look over at April and she’s giving you a somber look. oh fuck, was she offended by what you said about Donnie!? “I’m not saying that you and Donnie will never actually be friends, I’m just saying he’s always tense around you not trying to embarrass himself so he-“

“No, no I get it (Y/N), I’ve accepted it, for now. But he’s obviously gonna grow out of it, and it’ll be like it never happened. I give it the rest of the year.”

“Hah! Don’t you think you’re giving him a little too much grace? Donnie’s like a puppy waiting at the door for his owner to come back when he’s with you.”

The two of you start laughing as you approach the opening of the lair. “As if Donnie’s way too busy to be-“

“April!” Before she’s even two step into the lair Donnie grabs her and holds her in his arms.

“Hi Donnie.” She pats his shoulders obviously uncomfortable. You walk ahead, and you sit on the couch next to Mikey while he plays with ice cream kitty.

“Angela, sir ice cream kitty, how do you do?” You say in a forced posh accent and Mickey follows suit.

“Splendid, the hydrangeas are in full bloom, and they’re a sight to see if I do say so myself.” Ice cream kitty meows after him. A new show started running that takes place in the regency era, about bridges or something. You and Mickey started watching and, it’s quickly becoming one of your favorites.

As you and Mickey are talking, you see April walk over to the old arcade games where Raph and Leo are playing, and you get snatched by Donnie.

“(Y/N)! I need you now!” He whisks you off to his lab, and shuts the door behind him.

“Donnie! Why do you find it necessary to just pick people up!” you snatch his hands off your body, and he apologizes and leads you over to his clipboard.

“Okay hear me out.”

“Donnie I don’t need another 80 step plan on how to get April to text you.”

“It isn’t that. What if I ask her out?”

“No donnie that’s never gon- ASK HER OUT! Donnie that’s like the most normal idea you’ve had. Like EVER, and I’ve only known you for a month.”

“I was thinking a picnic on top a rooftop. Those are always super cute in movies, they have to work irl. Imagine us on a red gingham blanket, with lavender scented candles, a mp3 playing cheesy old love songs, and a whole pizza just for the two of us. How romantic would that be!”

Donnie’s enthusiasm for this was honestly adorable, and if he doesn’t say something weird, you think he might actually have a shot at making this work.

“I mean… it does sound nice. Give it a shot tomorrow night I’ll tell her i need her help with a secret mission… or something?”

“Then instead of you showing up I will, then I’ll lead her to our picnic and she’s sure to fall in love with me.” Donnie was basically bouncing off the walls, his cheeks turned red only at the thought of spending the night with April. You wanted to give him a reality check and say it’s probably not gonna work, but this is actually a good idea. Let’s just give it a shot.

It’s 8pm and the boys went out on patrol. The lair is calm and splinter made tea for you and April, while you’re talking April asks.

“Hey (Y/N) have you thought of training to be a kunoichi with me?”

You chuckled to yourself, “that’s funny” then you continued sipping tea. But when you put your cup down you saw the way April was looking at you and realized she was being serious. “Wait really?”

“Yeah! Don’t you wanna learn ninjutsu?”

“It’s better to learn alongside someone who can push you to do better. and sparing buddies are always fun.” Splinter giggles in whatever way an old rat man can while stroking his beard.

“Uh-“ I mean learning ninjutsu would be fun, but you don’t wanna be another target for the krang or Foot clan. However both foot clan mutants, and krang bots have seen you with the turtles. “I… Sure?”

April jumps on you and wraps her arms around your shoulders, and you held her back. “This is soo exciting! Now you’re really apart of the family.”

There’s a possibility that this is gonna back fire but as long as you have April and the turtles what’s the worst that could happen?

Right after you tell April that you don’t need help anymore, you grab your shell phone and call Donnie. “I just sent her off. Are you in position?”

“Yeah, I have everything ready. And it looks like something straight out of a fairytale! Do you wanna see?”

“Hell yeah, send me a picture.”

“Okay. I’ll do that right after I text April.”

“What are you telling her?” You roll your eyes and the disappointment in your voice is evident.

“I’m telling her I’m seeing suspicious activity from here. and I don’t trust my brothers, so I want her to come instead.”

“…” you stare at you phone with a sheer look of disgust on your face. In what world would that work, “Donnie are you fucking serious?”

“Y- yeah what about it?” He sounds confused from over the phone, and you can’t blame him. I mean the guy has only ever been with his brothers and dad his whole life, he can’t help being stupid.

“Donnie there’s no way that’s gonna-“

“She just replied. SHES ON HER WAY!” You can hear his phone thud on the ground, yet the squeal he let out still pierces your ears.

“I- I gotta go, before April gets here. Wish me luck.” He hangs up the phone.

You’re wishing him luck, but you know this will probably end in vain. It doesn’t matter how cute the fairy lights are, if she doesn’t like you she doesn’t like you.

But hopefully he doesn’t take this one too hard.

[d-targaryenshoe]

Forgotten Destiny - Anthony Bridgerton

Summary: When one wants a thing it does not mean the other lover would want the same thing, is it not?

Word count: 1543

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the sky into a tapestry of fiery reds and oranges, Anthony Bridgerton paused in his work, his pen hovering above the paper. 

He glanced at you, as you were sitting primly on the edge of his desk, your delicate features set in a familiar expression of determination. 

Your argument had been raging for the better part of an hour, and it showed no signs of abating. 

The air in the room seemed to crackle with tension as if a storm were brewing, waiting for the right moment to break free.

You leaned forward, your voice taking on a pleading quality that only served to enrage your husband further.

 "Anthony, I am your wife," you said, "and I am begging you to reconsider. We have three healthy children, which is just fine to me."

Anthony bit back a retort, unable to understand how you could be so content with your current situation. 

"But y/n," he said, his voice strained, "don't you want to give our children the gift of another sibling?"

You sighed, your gaze drifting to the floor for a moment before meeting his eyes again. "Of course I do, but yet I still think we shouldn't."

Anthony frowned, his eyes narrowing. "But why? What's the problem? You know that I can provide for any number of children."

You hesitated, unsure how to put your concerns into words. You glanced around the room, feeling a sense of overwhelm. 

Your house was beautiful, yes, but it was also filled with so much noise and activity. 

Three children were a handful even when they were well-behaved, and you worried that another one might push them all over the edge. 

"Yet it is my body, Anthony," you began.

He looked up sharply, his expression softening. 

"I understand that, dearest. I do not take your sacrifice lightly. But I feel like we are such a close family, and I want our children to have the same bond that we share."

You sighed, running a hand through your hair.

 "I know you do, but sometimes I feel like we lose ourselves in being parents. I want to be a wife to you too, Anthony. I want us to have time for each other, just the two of us."

Anthony's eyes widened at this admission. He hadn't realized how much you had been craving your alone time. 

He set his pen down on the desk and reached across the space between you, taking your hand in his. "You and me talking in my office isn't the same as spending time together?"

 "No, it's not the same. This is us being parents, have a good night, Mr Bridgerton." You snapped before walking away and smashing the door closed.

Anthony sat there for a moment, stunned. He couldn't believe you had just left him like that.

 He watched your retreating figure until you disappeared around the corner, and then he let out a frustrated growl. 

He knew you were upset, but he couldn't help but feel like you were being unreasonable.

The next morning, Anthony awoke to the sound of one of the servants knocking on your door. 

He groaned, rolling over and burying his face in the pillow. It had been a restless night, plagued by thoughts of you and the argument.

 He wished he could just apologize and make everything better.

When he finally dragged himself out of bed, he found you already dressed and sitting at the breakfast table, sipping your tea. 

Your expression was still stony, but he couldn't help but feel a pang of hope at the sight of you. 

He walked over to you, took a seat across from you, and gave you his most winning smile. "Good morning, my love. I hope you slept well."

You looked up at him, your eyes guarded, but not answering or saying a single word.

Anthony frowned, feeling the tension between you grow tighter. "Y/n, please," he said, reaching across the table to take your hand. 

"I know we didn't part on the best of terms yesterday, but I truly am sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like you're not important to me."

Your eyes met his, and you retreated your hand, going back to reading Lady Whistledown's new gossip.

Anthony sighed, feeling defeated. 

"Y/n, I truly am sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel unimportant. I just want what's best for our family. I want us to have another child, but I also want to make sure that we don't lose sight of the love and connection we share."

You looked up at him but turned your head towards the butler who stood at the door. "Finley, would you mind cleaning the table, It just got to me that I had a talk planned with the Duchess of Hastings."

Anthony frowned, his eyes narrowing. "And what would you like to discuss with her?" he asked warily.

"I'll be back in an hour or two for tea, Finley, thank you very much."

Daphne Bridgerton rose from her seat when you entered the sitting room, your graceful movements a testament.

 "Y/n, how wonderful to see you!" she exclaimed, giving you a warm hug. "It's been far too long."

You smiled, returning Daphne's embrace. "It has been, hasn't it? I do apologize for not visiting sooner. I've been rather busy with the children."

You sat down on the plush sofa, and a servant immediately brought in a tray of tea and biscuits.

 Daphne poured you each a cup, taking a sip before asking, "So, how are things going with you and Anthony? I must admit, I was rather surprised when Mama said he wanted another child."

You took a deep breath before answering. 

"He does...at least he does," you admitted. "Anthony is so focused on his duty as a Bridgerton, we've been arguing about having another child."

Daphne raised an eyebrow. "Oh? have you?"

"Well, Anthony is headstrong that we should try for another as soon as possible, while I want to enjoy the time we have together as a family before we add to it."

"I see," Daphne said thoughtfully, taking another sip of her tea.

 "It's a difficult position to be in, isn't it? On the one hand, Anthony is right in wanting to continue the Bridgerton line, but on the other, you both need to consider your happiness and the well-being of the children you already have."

You nodded, your eyes downcast as you toyed with your teacup. "Yes, it's been rather strained between us. I feel like he doesn't see how important it is for us to have that time together."

Daphne smiled sympathetically. "Well, I can understand where he's coming from as well. Anthony is a devoted father and husband, but he's also a man of duty."

Anthony cleared his throat as he entered the room, his eyes immediately darting between you two. "Ah, I didn't mean to interrupt," he said, his voice a little strained.

Daphne glanced up at him, her expression softening. 

"It's quite alright, Anthony. We were just discussing the challenges of maintaining a happy marriage while balancing family obligations." She motioned for him to sit down. "Please, join us."

Anthony hesitated for a moment before taking a seat. He cleared his throat again and looked at you, his expression contrite.

"I know I've been insensitive. I shouldn't have pushed for another child without considering how it would affect us as a couple, and I never want anything to come between us. I just..." He trailed off, searching for the right words.

Daphne reached out and placed her hand on his arm, offering him a reassuring smile. "It's alright, brother. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that you recognize them and are willing to apologize."

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. You knew Anthony meant every word he said, and you loved him for it. 

But you couldn't help feeling a twinge of uncertainty. You had been through so much already, and the thought of adding another child to the mix was both exciting and terrifying.

"I do appreciate your apology," you said finally, your voice quiet but steady. "But we need to find a way to move forward together. We need to decide what's best for our family."

Anthony nodded, his expression serious. "You're right. I want us to find a solution. I want to be the best husband and father I can be."

You considered his words for a moment.

 "How about this? Let's wait until the end of the season. By then, we'll have had some time to reconnect and renew our focus on our family. If we still feel the same way, we can discuss the possibility of having another child. Does that sound fair?"

Daphne smiled encouragingly. "It sounds like a very sensible plan, y/n. And if you ever need someone to talk to or someone to bounce ideas off of, please don't hesitate to reach out."

The three of you sat in silence for a moment, each lost in your thoughts. But there was an understanding between you, a sense of unity that gave you hope. Perhaps, just perhaps, you could find a way to make everything work.

[sometimesoliloquy]

😭😭😭 I am devastated!! Apologies if you’re burnt out on talking about nick, but I have no one in real life to debrief this mess with.

I think what’s most frustrating to me is that actually, a lot of the plot was valid and necessary to be resolved between nick and june, but the way the show runners framed it / nonsensical dialog lines made it all so horribly wrong.

Nick giving up mayday plan feels like an obvious outcome in that OF COURSE he isn’t super human and can’t get June out of every dire situation unscathed. I do truly believe that nick did not think the jezebels would be killed, and so it’s frustrating that they frame it as nick being selfish and giving up jezebels to save himself.

And I would even say, it is in character for June to snap at him with harsh words (which she doesn’t fully mean), but it’s SO annoying that they make nick just say, yeah I’m just trying to survive I’m human. No mention of him also trying to keep June safe, when she was literallly sitting in his car in the driveway when this all went down. They give nick no space to actually explain what’s gone down since the water park which June is oblivious to

And then to have Laurence say he can’t believe June ever trusted him?? LOL like wtf. This guy has flipped sids more than anyone! It was so irritating to have all these characters immediately be like well duh he’s a nazi.

And ep 9 was obviously horrible. I could almost justify Nick getting on the plane and having a tragic death. But they make him say he joined the “winning side”??? Literally wut. It sounded like a joke. And then to have him say June asked him to leave multiple times. Like I’m sorry, but it’s just not true. June never “chose” Nick and frankly wanted him in Gilesd to help her various pursuits. And TBF nick could have chosen to leave on his own accord and never did, but let’s not rewrite history to say he’s been pro Gilead the whole time

I wish they made him more melancholy / sad boi accepting his fate on the plane vs. mustache twirling villain they tried to pull off last minute. Could have said something like “I have to protect my family” and “I thought about running away w her so many times but it was a pipe dream” or something like that. It would’ve at least felt true to the character we’ve SEEN over 6 years (not what we were supposed to have gathered behind the scenes based on creator interviews, lol). Still awful and tragic, but at least would feel more realistic and less out of left field.

I’ll wrap this up given it’s become a short novel haha. My apologies this is so rambly and long but I have so many feelings. Thank you for this space to vent :) wishing you the best during this trying time!

Hi Anon😞 I'm so sorry you're feeling devastated, I completely understand, I am reeling also. And thank you for the well wishes, too. If there's one good thing, it's nice to know we have this little online community where we can vent and feel our feelings together. I hope my short novel back can help us continue to process together.❤️‍🩹

I completely agree about Nick and the Jezebels situation--he fucked up there, this is true, but what's insane is the questioning of his motivations, her sudden apparent doubts of "I guess I don't know him at all" because he made a bad miscalculation trying to not get himself killed and minimize the damage (the only casualty, in his mind, would have been the badly planned out Mayday plot). He told her he never thought the women would be killed and it's like she doesn't believe him(?) because she says "you sacrificed all those women to save yourself" (or something). As much as I hate him not vehemently defending himself more though, I do think that is very in character for Nick.

And I think was completely realistic that sooner or later him continuing to be June Osborne's personal Gilead errand boy was going to catch up to him and have some devastating effects, either for himself or others (in this case, both). Ironically it was his love for June that ultimately killed him but it wasn't even in a remotely satisfying way that could have given the loss a little dignity and meaning. It's just tragic that June can't realize (or at least can't accept) her own culpability in the women's deaths (don't even get me started on all the other deaths she's complicit in over the seasons).

I think what hurts the most about this character ending is that June couldn't bring herself to fight for him, not even a little. She was really about to say "fuck Hannah, fuck Luke, fuck everybody" and run off with Nick in 6x06, and now she can't even give him the tiniest bit of grace for his fuck up, the tiniest benefit of the doubt about his intentions, even after having time to cool down and process (even Rita, who doesn't know him as well as June, was able to do this and see him for the good man he innately is).

Because it's one thing for June to be devastated and angry, but it's a whole other for her to completely stop trusting him for good over this--trusting his motivations, his loyalty and his true character. To say "you're just like them". And the thing is, she does still trust him on a deep, implicit level, at the very least with her own well-being, or she wouldn't have been ok driving back with him and pissing him off.

Nick's line "she asked me to give it up many time" or whatever was just their blatantly lazy attempt at saying "See?? She tried, she really tried to get him to leave so many times! He says it so it must be true!" So that we can feel that his death is "deserved" Except the thing is it's not true, because we never saw this.

The only comments remotely anything of this nature were in s5 when she asked why he didn't take Tuello's deal to eventually come to Canada (with his wife…while she “has Luke), and their mutual mentions of "running away together", which were clearly always understood by both of them as an impossible day dream (at least until 6x06).

She never said "I want you to leave this awful place that makes you complicit in awful things". Never says "I would choose to be with you but I can't because of what and where you are". Even in episode 6 it was him asking her to leave, not the other way around. You can't just put words in a character's mouth that haven't been evidenced at all in the show and call it a day, that's horrible writing.

I agree that it's in character for June to react harshly, lashing out emotionally. We've seen her do this before and then come back to him with more softness and understanding once she's had time to process. One could argue I guess that in this case there just simply was not the time or opportunity, but I don't think that's the case. Even if she wasn't in such close proximity to him at the wedding (or couldn't find a safe way to get him alone/get a message to him), she could have gotten in touch with him through Lawrence, through Mark, she's always had her ways to get ahold of him when it was for something she wanted.

But she didn't. She watched him obviously performing at the pulpit, watched him like a hawk at the reception and must have seen how miserable and alone he really was, how heavily he was drinking. She had to have also remembered that she had to ask him several times what was wrong the last time she saw him. That he literally clung to her like a drowning man. And in all of this she never reached out, never tried to make up or help. One could argue that Nick should have found his own way out, his own motivation to leave Gilead, to give himself that opportunity to be a better man.

But think about it, how many times over the seasons has June been mentally and emotionally under water, and Nick was always, always been there standing by to pull her back up, even at great detriment to himself (like for instance having his very own child bride forced on him by a jealous Serena and Fred when he suggests she be concerned about June's mental health).

She knows he has imposter syndrome, poor self-image, and he may not be able to do it on his own. He needs a push, a helping hand, from the one person he always listens to. If she knows him at all she should know that he can't truly believe he's a good man who can leave Gilead and be better without her reassurance this is true.

And now, she sees him in the worst mental state she's ever seen him in, crushed by the weight of his Gilead life and her rejection, knowing he wants to leave because he just asked her to, knowing his allegiance is not truly to Rose or to Gilead because he was ready to give it all up, leave it all behind... and she can't be bothered to--or else is so angry and hateful that she doesn't want to--reach out a hand to him as he is drowning, metaphorically gasping for air. It's really so sad. She lets him eat the cake (ok fine, he'll have a little nap). She also lets Rose eat the cake, when she must have known it could potentially cause complications for the pregnancy (come on, I know we were all speculating about it).

And of course then comes the final blow--she can't even bring herself to save his life as he unknowingly boards the plane. There were no commanders outside, no guards. She was hidden and he paused. There was obvious opportunity for her to get his attention. And she chooses to let him die. And unlike Nick with the women at Jezebels, she knew full well what would happen.

Why?? Was she still so angry at him for his mistake that she wished him dead? Maybe she was pissed he didn't drop everything once again to risk his life and come to her rescue at the gallows (which I actually do think was a bit OOC but I mean he was kind of busy seeing that June put his wife in the hospital possibly losing the baby! It seemed like he maybe didn't even hear about the hanging until afterwards. I'm sure his father-in-law would not have wanted to tell him and possibly have him trying to fuck up his vengeance).

But no, I think the implication is supposed to be that June doesn't say anything because she doesn't trust Nick not to alert the commanders to her presence, and ultimately the bombing plot. Maybe this was what we were supposed to think about why she didn't try to give him a message at the wedding too.

The implication is that she sacrifices him to serve the larger purpose of the revolution, and I guess we're supposed to feel proud of her that she did the "right thing" and feel sorry for her that she "had" to make that choice? (Sorry, no).

And after everything they've been through, it's absolutely unbelievable that she should hold this level of distrust in him, to think that he would really have her killed. It's not as if he went screaming to Wharton the second she told him the Mayday Jezebels plan just for funsies or because of his loyalty to Gilead and Wharton. He was backed into a corner and did the best he could to try and get himself and her out of it, and she knows that.

So yeah, in my eyes she kills him, she murders him as concretely as if she stabbed a knife in his chest or put a bullet in his brain. She started the job when she threw him away like the dirt on the bottom of her shoe for the same sin she has committed countless times, continued stabbing that metaphorical knife as saw him struggling at the wedding, and finally finished him off at the airstrip.

She saw Nick drowning and never reached out, made zero effort to try and convince him to pull himself out of this hell and join the right side--may I add she extends more courtesy in this manner even to Wharton of all people, with her fairly lengthy speech to appeal to the "better man" in him episode 9. And she doesn't even lift a pinky to save Nick as he boards that death plane, another action he was finally driven to because of her. The father of her own child. A man she claimed to love. He went to battle for her time and time again and she refuses to fight for him back when he is the one in need.

It was just so unnecessary, so senseless, so cruel, And really tragic (but not even in a beautifully tragic sense). At least he is finally free of Gilead, and from June's transactional and very conditional "love", which as I recall one Mr. Commander Lawrence once aptly quoted: "fucks people up". At least he was right about that. May Nick Blaine's poor sweet tortured fictional soul (and may we) find peace.🙏💔❤️‍🩹