#I AM SO HAPPY!!! THE BLORBOS!!! WE'RE BACK!!!!

[rawliverandgoronspice]

guess who: managed to convince my bad laptop to overheat and endure clip studio paint + understand my tablet isn't actively plotting to murder my hard drive

guess who: started redoing the very first scene, the very first shot I ever did for thralls :>

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

[ladyfauxhawk]

tumblr is my happy place, BUT I need to say something difficult (TW: general discussion of sexual assault)

I read the Neil Gaiman article in Vulture yesterday. I'm not gonna repost it, you can find it if you want to read it. I'm not a Neil Gaiman fan, and most certainly am not diving into that back catalog now.

As a victim of sexual assault (by someone I'd call a charismatic elder and performative ally) when I was in college, this article was the clearest nonfiction piece I've ever read about the victim's experience of SA. The confusion and doubt and the sort of visceral clarity that comes after. I was taken back to some dark places when reading the victims' accounts.

I knew it would be a rough read and I was capable of doing so because I've had 20 years to sift thru the wreckage of my experience and be capable of bearing witness. If you're not ready for that, you don't have to read it. I hope the victims can learn that being vulnerable and soft is a great strength- you can't blame yourself for a bad person taking advantage. That vulnerability is human. It's how we make friends. It's how we survive.

As a writer of RPF reading something like this is awful and feels cautionary somehow. Someone is mourning their blorbos. That's OK. It's not your fault as a fan when the information you formerly held as true is disproven. You don't bear the burden of shitty people. You can only choose what to do with what you learned.

This article reminded me of why I have my own Ethics of RPF. These are my rules because I need them. They help me focus on what matters. Maybe they'll be helpful for someone else too:

Don't break the veil between the real world and your writing on tumblr/Ao3/wherever. You're writing fiction. Keep it fiction. Use whatever freely given source material you find in the wild but don't try to create it. We're all just people.

My engagement with fandom needs to be better than in real life. The whole of the internet needs to be better than in real life, or I need to go touch grass. This is for me. It should be fun. If it's not, find something else. And if my blorbo hurts my friends in this fandom, I'm cutting them from my life with the sharpest knife I can find.

Be kind to yourselves today. If any of my mutuals want to talk, my messages are open to you. ❤️

[marq-lynch]

Happy New Year, Non-Wrestling and Non-AEW wrestling friends!

My wrestling blorbos are finally live on HBO MAX tonight if you want to check them out!

It's going to be a great introductory episode to jump into blind if you'd like but here's the fast and easy rundown for what we're hoping for:

Fight for the Fallen is an annual special episode of Dynamite and this year it's being hosted by tag team FTR as a benefit for their hometown of Asheville which was hit hard by the hurricane last year.

FTR has teamed up with the Rated R Superstar Adam Copeland, to form Rated FTR, and they're determined to take down the Death Riders, who are currently holding an iron grip on AEW as baddies. Copeland's return last month also signals the return of Old Man Yaoi for 2025 as he is very divorced and his ex-husband Christian Cage is already Sweating as this ruins his plans.

We've also been waiting for a gay breakup with The Acclaimed (Bowens can do so much better) and The Hurt Syndicate are the new powerhouse faction in AEW that might just be able to break the camel's back tonight. Please.

Julia Hart, our Goth Queen has finally returned from injury and we're delighted to see her and her faction back in action. The House of Black always delivers (and always wins)

And in the realm of 'I am too close to this to have normal opinions about it' Hangman Adam Page, the beloved anxious millennial cowboy of AEW is currently in his 'Utterly Unhinged and Making Great Life Choices' Black Hat Era because of... Reasons, and Orange Cassidy, ultra laid back and chill guy you cannot piss off has finally had Enough.

It's going to be fun, and makes AEW a lot more available to a lot more people who don't want to bother with cable television, VPNs, or additional obscured streaming add-ons.

The first year of AEW's PPVs and Dynamite (2019) has also been added to MAX on demand, and they've promised to update it on a rolling basis to let people catch up along with two months backlog of the most recent shows (in 2025 that will be Wednesday Night Dynamite and Saturday Night Collision).

So if you're curious about the promotion that has consumed so many people over the last several years by making the alternative more mainstream, and tv wrestling a gayer, kinkier, bloodier, and all around weirder, now's your chance!

Or hey, if you're seeing this post later? HBO MAX is still there.

[olderthannetfic]

I don’t see myself ever posting something like this publicly so here goes:

I am a sexual sadist. My sadism is tied to my sexuality and it always has been. No clue why. I’ve never felt guilt or shame about it because I do not derive any pleasure from unwanted pain infliction. I can’t even watch horror media because even the simulation of graphic unwanted physical harm makes me feel nauseous. Sick to my stomach nauseous. When I hear those actors scream and cry I want to throw up. Rationally I am completely aware it is fake and fictional but my brain can’t help the aversion I feel to unwanted violence of this nature. The only place I can safely explore this facet of myself is in a consensual sexual place with a sub. It’s the most at peace and happy I feel. And of course sexually excited. I can’t explain the psychology behind it I just know it’s always how my brain has worked. The first time I experienced sexual attraction was watching an animated kids movie when I was 8 and someone was bound and crying out and writhing around it made me sexually excited. I don’t know how or why these things happen.

I’m just sending this because I keep seeing this idea that sexual sadism is tied to abuse and that all sadist must be abusing their partners and it just isn’t true. I don’t have the answers as to why my brain was wired this way but I can unequivocally say I would never want to harm someone nonconsensually and that many people speaking on this topic seem to be coming from a place of assumption and ignorance around human sexuality. Admittedly I myself am not knowledgeable as to the whys, I just know I have never felt shame for something I feel is harmless. My partner has not been conditioned by society to be sexually aroused by pain and submission, they just are, same as me in the inverse.

--

Heh. This comes up here so often because I'm something of a sadist myself, though far too lazy to actually have a relationship.

People like to fall back on "trauma" because they feel like it legitimizes things, but really, some people are just wired kinky. There will never be a satisfying explanation any more than you can satisfyingly explain why a given person is straight.

And honestly, I think fandom should think a little harder about our extreme love of whump and watching our blorbos cry the next time we're hand-wringing over sadists existing. Just saying.

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

I like to imagine myself as some kind of demon or other magical fiend who lives under cover as the human I am. I meet my blorbo from reality and of course he thinks I'm super cool and interesting, and we get together. As we start to fuck on the regular I use my magic on him so that his body gradually changes to my liking. His pecs swell and grow tender, and eventually he starts to lactate on my command. He loves it when I tease his nipples until he's a squirting, panting, oversensitive mess.

I let him keep his cock, but I give him a vagina too, and he learns how to fuck himself senseless while I watch. We're not interested in raising any spawn, but I fuck him just to fill him up with impossible amounts of cum, and it turns into large crystal eggs that make him have earth-shattering orgasms every time one pops out. After the first time he begs me to do it again, and again, and again.

I ask him how he'd like to change next and he asks for a long, forked tongue, and a strong prehensile tail. I grant his wishes, and we find many new and exciting ways to have sex. I ask him what else he wants and he says tentacles and fangs and horns, and I give them to him.

It's not long before he looks much less human than I am, and I ask him if he would like me to return him to his original state. He's adamant that I've shown him his true purpose in life, and that he's happier than he's ever been in this new form. He asks to be bonded to me for life and I agree, tracing golden filigree runes across his and mine bodies to mark us as mated. I bring him back to the realm where I belong and we spend the rest of eternity having crazy happy sex.

.

[the-apocrypha]

3, 22, 26?

3. How would you describe your writing style? 

Uh. Functional. Highly functional. Occasionally I strive toward the slightly poetic or prosaic, and I feel like my own tendency toward dry humor will come out from time to time, but otherwise I think it's pretty… basic. 

(The more literary answer is that my style is highly reflective of my history of pretty much only ever writing within the bounds of fanfiction. While there are obviously exceptions, there tends to be a lot of homogeneity amongst fanfiction writing style, for a lot of reasons, including (1) You tend to write what you read, and (2) People generally turn to fanfiction for literary comfort food. While a House of Leaves or an On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is nice on occasion, we are mostly here to straight torture or sexify or cuddle our blorbos and we don’t want to beat around the bush. It is in no way a bad thing! It’s actually kind of cool, from a literary perspective, because it's genuinely recognizable. Like the Scholomance trilogy! They are good, but you can tell by page two that this person absolutely cut their teeth on fanfiction. So, I am a product of my experiences.)

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots fall in love over and over again? 

See above: comfort food. 

Long answer: for me, I am a person who does not instantly attach to characters. I rarely enter fandoms that are based around a single book or movie, and greatly favor comics/television/series because it lets me spend a lot of time with characters and my affection for them can really take root and grow. Fanfic is just the next natural extension of that. I am very much a person who finds a Happy Button and then wants to mash the Happy Button ad nauseum until it breaks. I listen to the same album on repeat for three months. I just discovered Tim Tams and have bought a box a week for the last four months. And when I settle into a fandom, I want to see my blorbos having nice things over and over and over and over again. :D 

26. What would you describe as OOC?

Oof this is a tough one! I think characterization is such a personal thing that it’s impossible to define that. I definitely have opinions on things that I read, on whether they’re in/out of character, but the beautiful thing about fandom is that we are all casting prisms of the same characters and what is out of character for me may be in character for someone else! So, eh. 

I will say that I feel like any time I start writing for a new fandom, my first fic or two will always feel a little rocky in characterization. Once I’ve written more and developed a more nuanced and consistent concept of the characters, I usually look back on the early stuff and go woof. Sandman has been no exception to this. (Fond wave at fly me to the moon. You’re not completely terrible.)

(for the writers ask meme)

[themoonstarwarrior]

Bringing this back

(vent under the cut)

(long post warning)

So I'm tired and VERY hormonal, but I need to get these TSAMS feelings out so I'll shove them here and maybe it'll help.

I am so upset and angry with what's happened with this show. Theres been times where I've been overwhelmed by this show, or felt like TSAMS dropped the ball narratively, but I've always gotten through it and came back because of what the show gave me.

But this entire arc has broken something. At first I kept my distance, took a break, watched Dazzle episodes or ones from before the stupid confrontation. And the more episodes in this arc dropped, the less I've been able even watch ANY episodes. I'm starting to realize that this might be the breaking point where I this show isnt worth it anymore, and I leave for good.

And that FUCKING SUCKS!!!!

I've LOVED this show! For two years I've endured the twists and turns, despite how ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE my mental health has been, because this show has been a comfort to me. My hyperfixation blorbos being RPed, playing games and going through shenanigans, portrayed AMAZINGLY and giving me EXACTLY what I want in anything I get into: great characters and familial bonds.

But this arc destroyed the family part. It's taken everything its built in the characters and completely ruined it. And its STILL not over, even though they're treating it like we're in downtime.

I'm angry at the show for all these awful decisions that have made me and EVERYONE ELSE miserable. I HATE what they turned New Moon into. I HATE how Earth, Lunar, Monty have been behaving. I HATE how Old Moon has been shoved in. I HATE how Old Moon is acting, especially when New Moon is brought up. I HATE HOW EVERYONE IS BEING FORCED TO LIVE WITH ALL OF THIS.

And I'm upset! I've lost an important comfort in my life because of poor writing and bad decisions. I'm even loosing the happiness I had in the way the show used to be because ITS SO PAINFUL. I still need that escape, I still love the characters, but I may never get it back now.

And YES, I realize that the creators have a right to make a show however they want regardless of whether people like it. And YES, people should not be so obsessed or dependent on a fictional story that you lash out or attack real people.

But you know what?

ITS BAD WRITING! ITS BAD CHARACTERIZATION! IT MAKES NO SENSE! IT COMPLETELY UNDERMINES EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED BEFORE! AND BECAUSE OF THOSE CHOICES THAT I HAD NO CONTROL OVER, I WILL PROBABLY NEED TO GIVE UP SOMTHING I LOVED! I AM LOOSING SOMETHING THAT HAS LEGIT BUILT ME UP WHEN I NEEDED IT! WHAT I HAD FEELS POISONED, WHAT COULD BE FEELS IMPOSSIBLE, AND I MAY NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE THIS AGAIN!

And the worst part? I STILL CANT STOP HOLDING OUT THAT THIS WILL ALL BE FIXED.

I keep hoping that at some point, some reveal will happen or the terrible choices will be acknowledged or even this whole thing will be retconned or undone. I feel like I can forgive the show if New Moon gets some justice cuz I want to enjoy this again.

I don't know, I'm mostly rambling at this point and maybe somebody feels the same way and I'm not just in a menstrual-fuelled emotional meltdown. But I have a right to feel how I feel, and what I feel is this:

I'M ANGRY, I'M UPSET, I HATE THIS ARC AND EVERYTHING ITS DONE, AND I WANT MY COMFORT SHOW BACK!

[brokentoys]

is it me or .... are people just more reluctant to follow blogs now? or maybe the RPC is just not as big as it once was and it feels that way? now, i'm not saying this is a bad thing -- after all, ppl are def free to have their boundaries and choose to write with whoever. but... i am noticing it's way harder to new blogs o' mine to gain traction. like i have blogs that practically "fail" just because nobody rly wants to interact with 'em or follow me back. HELL, when i started this blog, it actually took 3 months before i started getting new followers. for those 3 months, i only wrote with like 3 other ppl and those were friends or followers of my prev blog. and it's not a reaching out prob because like, i ACTUALLY did follow others and either never got any follow backs, or got a declined message (which that's fine too) and now this blog has a fairly good amount of followers.

but like i've had blogs that i've given up on or practically gave up on BECAUSE i have barely anyone to write with. usually it's my more niche muses with no rp scene. but like why i think this must be a new thing is because i was actually looking through my old RP graphics and i found some from a blog that was around 2016. it was another niche muse from a very old show (liek 1960s) and liek that fandom ALSO had no rp scene yet i had a "follow forever" graphic for reaching 200 followers???? that was so long ago that i don't remember much on that blog, but to see i had that many followers is just surprising. that's liek half the followers i have here.

and it just makes me wonder if people have just become more reluctant? more reluctant to follow and more reluctant to get out of "comfort zones" and write with characters they're not as familiar with? which again! is ok. if somebody wants to keep writing with characters they know, that's fine. but it does get a lil disappointing when you have ideas and they virtually go nowhere due to disinterest. it also just makes me wonder why things seem to have changed. is it due to how toxic the rpc became? is it bc the rpc in general is less active? is it because ppl just decide to stick to familiar canons / ocs 'cos that's more fun to them? hmm.

i guess to end this on a final note is that... personally, i care about muses but i don't care about them at the same time. like the whole reason i LOVE RPing and why i did it in the first place isn't to write with certain characters, it's to place my silly blorbos into situations -- it doesn't matter WHAT situation it is. it doesn't matter if we're doing "tails gets trolled" style rps and crossovers. my goal is to have batshit insane fun with other people. that's why i do follow muses from canons i've never heard of. it's also why i struggle to fill in interest checkers or when a mutli asks "what muse do you wanna write with?" because frankly? i'd be happy to write with ANY muse. like you can throw any muse at me, and i'm happy. oc? canon? niche canon? unfamiliar canon? i want it all.

[snug-gyu]

so another year is coming to an end, and i feel like a lot has happened to me this year that i should do a little post so i can remember everything i went through and the good things that came from it. under the cut cause this will probably get long

so this year i moved back in with my parents for mental health reasons. i left behind a good job, great coworkers and a place i had just recently finally got to myself. even though i had all that, i was still feeling so bad with myself i realized i needed the support to get back to my feet.

i lost my most precious baby in the process to a horrible desease that took him from me in a matter of days, and i had to watch him suffer through it all while not being able to do anything besides make him as comfortable as i could.

with all that, i also got myself into a terrible job that was so taxing on me i feel like i deleted most of those months from my mind as a defense mechanism, to the point i broke down one day after being humiliated by my asshole boss and finally quit.

all of this happened while i changed psychiatrists and treatment at least twice, so the weeks following me quitting my job were very important to finally give my mind some rest and now i'm in a job that is a lot more considerate and less taxing on my mental health.

now on for the good things.

this year i managed to see two of my faves live, nct 127 in january and ateez in august. i haven't been to concerts in so long and now i'm completely addicted. i can't wait to see what 2024 has in store (hopefully skz?)

through all of that, some friends have been soooo important to me. you guys were there for me in my darkest hours and for the happy times as well.

@secretdiaryofanawkward my bestie, i love you. thanks for being there every day with your memes, rants and cat pics. i cherish our memories together even if it's just laying down in silence while we do our own thing. thanks for helping me while i was on my lowest and i'm pretty sure i wouldn't be where i am now mentally without your help

@hongamon , @changbeens and @cryiingemoji . you guys have been with me since last year and i know i can count on you being there to cheer me up with blorbo pics or to talk shit about people. thanks for your friendship and i hope you know i'll always be there if you need me

@ggthydrangea and @winterfloral , your words (or gifs) of reassurance mean the world to me. also @juiceofmoons and @missyedits , even though we didn't talk much i'll always have you in my heart. i know y'all been busy this year with work and uni, but i'm glad we finally managed our mb babes' call

@chanrizard my beloved wife, @decembermoonskz by sweetheart, @agibbangs my spiritual neighbor and the whole of lix jail @leenope @jinniebit @lixence @thnx4thefish @wisteriya @happysmilebtr @babebatter @haenglixie thanks for the chaos and the laughs and even if we don't talk much y'all are very special to me.

all my beloved moots, i love you guys very much and it's lovely to interact with you even if it's just through tags sometimes. you have a special place in my heart and know that if we're moots you're automatically all my friends

@hanjesungs thanks for caring the burden of modding the stayblr server since it's begging and for being the voice of reason when we need it

to all of the people on the stayblr discord server, know that i consider you all my family and going there is like coming home, so thanks for always being so warming and nice to hang around. @hongjoongpresent @brightermorepls @astraykidz @noonaracha

sorry if i forgot anyone, just know that i'm very grateful for all the friends i've made along the way. my ask box and dms are always open 💜💜 thanks and i love y'all

[phaerlax]

Clan/Garu ficlet anthology!

I'm excited to finally announce this project!~ Remember when Garu won the Top Bottom tournament? Well, consider this a treatise on why.

The people who are most normal about the dog boy have gathered to make one fic wherein every other character gives him what he wants (or a version of it). I am writing Dante, Blade, Morvay, Eiden, and Rin. @raynui is writing Kuya, Yakumo, Aster, and Karu. @xrivalsilverx is writing Rei, Quincy, Olivine, and Edmond.

Join us on this journey at your leisure. The chapters won't be sequential, so feel free to hop in whenever we feature your blorbo(s) if you're picky. But if you're wise enough to like Garu himself... prepare 😌 I'm very proud of what we're putting out with two beta readers per chapter...

Chapter 1 is kuyaru, of course! Come get some kuyaru chastity play 🗝️

“I mean– A-actually, I knew Karu would feel sad if he was the only one in the cage– so I didn’t say anything.” “You needn’t coddle him; that naughty mutt knows that the punishments he earns are his own to bear.”  Kuya reached out, but still Garu fussed and protected his precious cage from that dreaded key. “B-but!  It’s easier for him if it’s both of us, so I can wear it until his punishment is over.” “Oh my, how selfless,” Kuya chuckled as he flicked the key back into mist. “Has this not impeded your own pursuit of pleasure?” “Well… It’s okay, I can endure it for Karu’s sake!” “Just for Karu, hm?” Garu squirmed when Kuya stroked all the way up his inner thigh to caress the skin around his little cock and balls. “—A-And master thought it was ‘kinky’, too… So if he’s happy, then I’m happy!” “How very curious.  I believe I heard a rather different story from the young master.” Garu’s face paled; his ears folded back. “Indeed,” Kuya smiled. “The young master whinged at me for being too cruel, as he is wont to do.  And today, he claimed that you had already begged me for respite, but I did not grant it.  Whyever would he think something like that?”

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

replying to @caozihuanismyson

"If that was love, Cao Pi didn’t need it. Didn’t want it. It was better to be indispensable than cherished. He needed to become something that could not be left behind. Something that Father could not live without." my jaw just fucking dropped #i love this. im in love. holy shit#HE NEEDED TO BECOME SOMETHING THAT COULD NOT BE LEFT BEHIND SOMETHING THAT FATHER COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT#(im screaming louder so people in the back can hear)#(jk there's no one in the back cuz it's san guo on tumblr.com but still)#💀#thank u op i have ascended#also all the little details of ang trying to make up for father's absence for his lil bros..... when pi wiped his tears my heart broke#that part where cao pi imagined ang's last moments? holy shit i've never thought of it that way it's genius and horrifying#(ok i need a moment)#also............... i'm going insane about the part with fish and jade#and cao pi describing cao cao's expression of love towards cao ang as painful#and wanting to put him in his mouth like how soldiers keep their precious things safe#i thought this was going to be about ang's tragedy .... but it turned out to be about that and the horror of pi's existence#thank u for the meal op i'm so grateful

thank you so much, this is such a nice comment to wake up to!!!! it makes me so happy to have such dedicated readers who catch every single detail ;u;

Cao Ang has been my blorbo for a long time because he is a fascinating contradiction. he achieved nothing and did nothing of note, but seems to have left a significant impression on those around him. Cao Cao expresses regret for him on his deathbed. Cao Pi talks about how he should have been the rightful heir. Lady Ding was willing to disobey the most powerful man in the empire in order to get the smallest measure of justice for him. His death always struck me as, well, a feel-good narrative told by a guilty conscience. Cao Cao could have ordered any one of his bodyguards to give up his horse, but he didn't. It makes sense in the coldest, most logical way. Why lose an able-bodied fighter for a brat? You can always make more. I came up with a bunch of scenarios of what "really" happened, but in the end i realised it doesn't matter. Cao Cao still left his son to die. the horror comes from the ambiguity itself. I also wanted to explore how his actions would impact the remainder of his children. They realised overnight that they were all disposable and no one was safe. the real tragedy doesn't come from Cao Ang's death, but his father undoing all his hard work. Ang tried his best to give them love, curb their worst impulses, and foster good relationships between them, only for his father to stick them in the Sibling Royale. Climb to the top and uproot all your competition. ect. ect.

But I am an optimistic person and I believe true love can pierce the veil and save the day and all that. Cao Ang's ghost continues to haunt the narrative and in the end, he manages to effect his brothers in some way. Cao Pi comes to realise that, hey, this kinda sucks, actually. i think we're emotionally stunted and perpetuating the cycle of violence. maybe i don't have to trample all my brothers to preserve my own life. maybe i shouldn't become exactly like father. hmm much to think about. Cultural Context, for those interested:

funerary practices are not historical, but based on the modern shangdong ones i've experienced.

"putting your child in your mouth" is an expression of helpless tenderness. the full phrase is "i want to you hold in my hands, but i'm afraid of dropping you. i want to hold you in my mouth, but i'm afraid you will melt." i wanted to show this conflict within cao cao, the warlord vs the man. how his ambition corrupts him. ultimately, cao cao does not put his son in his mouth to protect him. he consumes him instead.

the opening scene is based on Cao Pi's poem "Traveling on the city wall." His poems are notable for being very emo, he talks about feeling isolated and unfulfilled despite having every worldly possession. I decided to connect it with Cao Zhi's (ahistorical) bean poem. the metaphor is less profound, but what can you do? he is the lesser poet after all ;))) .

[thatguywasvaping]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

i don't know who else to tag honestly but thank youuu @wisteria-wisteria for tagging me 😉

1. Who or what got you into F1?

i've been wanting to tell this story to someone cuz i think it's so dumb

so well, my dad and my cousins are HUGE f1 fans they always talk about it on the family gc. it was the mexico 2023 gp (we're mexican btw and just like every single men in mexico they love checo) and we all know what happened to checo in that race so they were fuming and honestly i was enjoying it and all the memes on twt

anyway i never really cared about the sport, to me it was just men going vroom vroom in circles for an hour but then the brazil gp came

we were in my grandparents house, i was in the living room and they were watching the race obviously, it was just about to start and then something magical happened that changed my whole life... charles leclerc crashes on the formation lap and i thought omg who's this dumbass 🙄 but then i heard his voice with that sadness you only hear in eastern european gay porn saying "why the fuck am i so unlucky?", i was like damn he's so me, my dad was asking me to traduce what he was saying, i had no context of everything that happened on the season but i could just think damn is this not the first time that it has happened to him? poor bro

then i saw him get lost in the motherfucking woods and i was crying laughing at this point wondering who the hell is this guy?

i made a mental note to search his name on twt later, anyway the race went on and i was actually getting invested in it, i remember my cousins had to leave but they were all i want to see checo pass hamilton bla bla bla and i had no idea who hamilton was but i wanted to see it too it was so exciting. when i got back home i went into a charles leclerc rabbit hole in twt and tumblr and tiktok, then i learned more about all the other drivers and as someone who was lacking content of my man finn wolfhard i was getting bored and seeing this guys being a chaotic mess and getting content of them every weekend i was like fuck it they're my new blorbos especially charles❤️

and now here i am :) the end.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

i am a charles leclerc girlie and i will always be he's my sunshine i will fight anyone who dares to say something bad about him, i just love him so much he's so determinated and passionate i am so sure he will achieve his dream but he's also very kind, charming, funny. his history is also so amazing to me, his mental strenght is unbelievable and has motivated me to keep going no matter what, he's very dear to me, i admire him so much and i don't think it will ever change because he amazes me more and more everytime.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

charlieeee obvi but i've also been very obsessed with max lately they are fighting for p1 in my favorite drivers championship every single day hahahah

maxie poo i love you babygirl 😘

ok but now seriously MAX VERSTAPPEN YOU ARE A FUCKING LEGEND AND DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD he means a lot to me now too

i love lando and oscar also i hope they achieve amazing things with mclaren they have so much talent and potential i know they will be great

and ofc mi gente latino 🇲🇽✊ checo pérez you are my dad and i support you no matter what also he's so unintentionally funny as max said i'll just call him lovely 😌

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

LESTAPPEN MY GOD when i tell you that i think about them every day i'm not joking at all

my roman empire as the tiktok kids would say

i just love them for the same reasons everyone else does they have been racing against each other for most of their lives and of course they've had their rough patches but they respect each other and love racing together, they push the limits and will do everything to win but they always keep that mutual respect and admiration

i got into them with the inchident video it's just hilarious max being all mad like no it's so unfair 🙄 and charlie being like just an inchident 😘 I CAN'T THEY'RE SO ICONIC LIVE LAUGH LOVE LESTAPPEN we love emotional support rivals

also shoutout carlando, maxiel, charlos, chestappen, landoscar they are so funny love seeing them do stupid shit but also have each others back

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

my dad will die for red bull especially for checo, i don't really know my cousins favorite drivers but they like ferrari and one of them has a charles leclerc cap and a valtteri bottas one so i think them

i'm kind of a closeted f1 fan lmao because most of my life i've been like it's so boring just them going in circles but now i'm obsessed but also if i say i like it now they would be like you just like it because the drivers are good looking

and i mean YEAH but fuck just let me enjoy it and it's also my first season i'm still learning give me a break bruh

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

like i said this is my first season and i started pretty late but they first race i ever watched from start to finish was ✨las vegas 2023✨ and as a charles fan i will never forget that last lap where i was mourning p2 already and all like well let's hope for the best on the next race😔 when all of a sudden i see this mf overtaking checo, it was 1am and when i tell you i JUMPED from the couch and started screaming and jumping around, genuinely i will never forget it

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

i don't really know about each circuit that much but i like monaco

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

naaahh they're expensive af maybeee one day i'll go to the gp in mexico city but in a very distant future

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

i see checo's face in every corner in my city does that count?

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

i like the mercedes' cars just for the mere reason that they look cool to me and since i don't know all the technical stuff i think i could give you a pepper answer once i learn more

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

not really ✌️

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

when max said "i always thought that if i would make it to F1, charles will also make it"

what can i say i love my babygirls

[neewtmas]

24 days of Appreciation

DAY 4

Good morning! It's day 4 of 24 Days of appreciation this december, where we shine a spotlight each day on those we appreciate in this fandom!

If you want to submit someone or something (for more info read here), you can do so here or just message me! If you wanna stay anonymous, either tell me or submit on anon.

Appreciation from me:

Today's appreciation is for @givemea-dam-break. I know you're not on tumblr a lot rn, so idk when you see this, but ofc I could never not make an appreciation post about you. I loveeee and adore everything have done for this fandom, whether it be your edits (heart-shattering, wonderful, fantastic, spectacular, the locklyle hands!!!!) or your fanfics. There is a reason why almost everything you've ever written is on my fic rec list, and imo you're in like the top three lockwood & co writers on this site. I'm not lying when I say that Touch is probably my favourite George x reader fic ever (at least top 3!!). Your feedback the fics I write is what keeps me going and it makes me so happy every time! I love that at this point we're also connected outside of tumblr and I get a little glimpse into your life. I just know that when we finally finish the collab fic (one day that will happen I swear lol) it will be the most iconic thing ever written. I am so grateful I get to know you, and I hope you're back soon! ily eden🫂💙

Appreciation from others (submissions):

from anon: Could I possibly submit @krash-and-co for the 12 days of appreciation thing you're doing? She is such a bright, bubbly, joyous person to be around. I love reading her posts because she always has such great ideas and hcs. She's so naturally funny! Her art style isn't my cup of tea, but she's sm better than me and it's super cute!! I honestly could easily imagine a cartoon or animation with her art style. And her writing, oh, don't get me started in her writing, MY GOD, her writing, the first time I read her work, I was awestruck by how similar to Stroud her writing was. Her fics are such a delight to read and her writing is genuinely so impressive. Definitely my favourite fic writer. I particularly adore the AU drabbles she writes because it's so interesting to see my blorbos in different situations. so exquisitely in a way we don't see in the fandom, I could go on and on about how much I love the way she writes. The talent she has is so impressive (allahumma barik), good at writing AND drawing!?!? Puh-lease!!

Show your appreciation and submit someone or something here :)

[nikatyler]

🌈 2023 ✨

Another year is over so it's time for a look back at what was happening on this blog! I haven't really been around, it was just my queue, and maybe that's one reason why I looked at my archive and went "huh" at everything. I don't remember much. The other reason why this year probably went poof in my head is because I was dealing with some mental health stuff lol. I say lol but it wasn't actually very lol but I'm doing better now and 2024...is looking promising for now.

So, let's talk more under the cut, shall we?

January

We're in Bridgeport and Sawyer is living his best life. You know, girlfriends, boyfriends, being turned into a vampire, giving birth to three little vampires, threatening to sell his enemies' organs on the black market...best life indeed.

February

Okay I am now seeing that "talking more" about every month will be impossible since I actually don't have much recollection of 2023 lmao

March

Sawyer and Erin are at the best point of their relationship, but we left them alone for a bit and went back to NSB. Pastel just moved to Strangerville and got a...rather strange roommate.

April

The rather strange roommate becomes Pastel's rather strange wife. I love these two so much. We also say hello to Moss -- and also to Ross, who returns from...god knows where. I mean yeah, there was the ts3 Ross, but technically they're two different people. Parallel universes and stuff.

May

Thea is born and strange wife Jesse gets even stranger. That whole "merging with the mother plant" thing was kinda weird but I really enjoyed it. Idk what I was on but it was fun. And then, before returning to the lepacy, I posted my Cottage Living screenshots! ...which were really just me going "uwu what does this do" on every possible Wicked Whims option.

June

...and I went from posting weird WW Ross stuff to posting wholesome Growing Together Ross stuff. If that gave you a whiplash, I am sorry, but imagine what it must be like for me. I'm locked with this guy in my head 24/7. He's the whiplash king. A blorbo to you, a curse to me. A beloved curse tho. Ok I'm getting weird. Back to the lepacy.

July

Lepacy time! Loved the soap opera Generations gen. Kinda wish I had sticked to some of the storylines instead of going "eh nvm I just wanna play". I'm not saying I regret not actually letting Saywer go on a killing spree but also...imagine if he went on a killing spree. You don't see that in lepacies often do ya

August

August was...welp 💀 I was at the grippy socks hospital for most of that month, 10/10 would recommend, but my queue ran out while I was there so I just reblogged some old stuff for a few weeks.

September

September is just lepacy month. Cornelia and Archer are happy, they get married, they get more children...yeah. Good wholesome Generations times all around. It's not like they're gonna get divorced later or anything.

October

The twins are kind of chaotic, one of them turns into a ghost, both then bring their cursed imaginary friends to life...and the final child of Archer and Cornelia is born.

November

I loved running into Sawyer at the grocery store all the time. Weird vampire alleged killer grandpa behavior suits him. Dorothea goes away to a boarding school, hates it there and instantly comes back. Relatable. Oh and midlife crisis hits Archer hard.

December

And we're in December! Dorothea enters her horsegirl era and finds herself a girlfriend...and we'll continue that in 2024!

What's in store for the new year besides the lepacy? Well, Not So Berry will be making a return (and HOPEFULLY we'll finally get to the end. we need to). There's a story I want to do in the NSB universe, if you know you know. Before we dive into the next lepacy generation, I'm thinking of another BC with the gen 7 heir...oh and Marika's Black Widow. Shoot and I'm starting an irl job in January. Yeah no we're not doing all this in 2024, don't count on it 💀 But I'll try.

Happy New Year! 🎇

[desultory-novice]

What are a few theories you have to say in regards to the Mirror World?

[Edit: Wow, this ask was well timed! Happy KatAM release!]

M-Mirror World... :shivers:  ... I mean, n-no! Why would I be scared talk about the mirror world?! That's r-ridiculous! :knows that everyone else already has much better mirror HC than me:

Err, in truth though, I do get a little nervous when asked about the mirror world because I really never paid that much attention to it at the time?! It just seemed like a cutesy gimmick for a game and I guess I didn't see the massive potential many other fans saw in it.

When it showed up again in TDX, I was like "Ohhhh! ...Huh." and when DMK returned for Star Allies, I was like "...I guess we're sticking with this now?!" (Speaking of, I was really ambivalent on DMK at the time but have since adopted the edgy boy as one of my blorbos mostly because everyone else seems to kind of hate him/have nothing interesting for him except to have him swear even more than MK -purportedly does? And well, Dess loves an underdog!)

Anyway, I've said it once and I'll say it again (and again and again until I finally finish drawing "Through a Mirror Darkly", the prequel to "Unspoken") I think Dark Meta Knight was a double agent...!

I think he was "working" for Dark Mind only to the degree necessary to overthrow him. Why else would he split Kirby into four equally powerful selves when Necrodeus proved it was indeed possible to simply weaken the powerful, pink, and puffy?! Because come on, he's Meta Knight's shadow given form! Why does that instantly mean he has to be significantly dumber than Meta Knight?! Why can't he be as clever and farsighted as the champion fighter?

Remember how Meta is very subtly implied to have trained Kirby to face off against Nightmare during Adventure? I hold that DMK was doing the same thing, having given up on training his verse's own Kirby. DMK being a secret dark hero would certainly make sense as to why Kirby handily invites him to join the hero party in Star Allies!

(As for why he attacks Dedede out of nowhere, well, I believe he probably has... complex feelings regarding his own Dedede(1))

Err, sorry, I know this wasn't specifically about DMK... Let's talk about the Mirror World in general! It's very... hmm. It's very...unknown?

Trying to piece together (haha...) the mirror world based on the information we have now feels like trying to count sands of grain in a jar from a distance. Or trying to correctly guess the Ancient's backstory as revealed in Star Allies using only what we know in RtDL.

I think, by the time Kumazaki and the team are ready to return to it, we're going to be pretty shocked by what we find out! But as long as we're not interested in correctly guessing something (...that HAL themselves probably don't know EVERYTHING about) but simply want to bandy ideas back and forth about what we know... 

I myself am most interested in a) it's timeline b) the logic behind Mirror World residents c) how/if does it stand on it's own?

If the Dimension Mirror is an Ancient Artifact, and it has all the signs of one, so I don't see any reason it shouldn't be (I even speculated once the mirror's wings could be based on Elfy) then it is OLD. Pre-fall of Halcandra old. In which case, the Mirror Dimension should be at least that old, right? But what even IS "the mirror dimension?"

Because Amaz(e)ing Mirror showed us a series of multiple interconnected worlds, linked by much smaller mirrors. And let's think about the name for a second: "The Dimension Mirror." Why would the Ancients create something that just makes ONE dimension? And the dimension in question is one where everything kinda sucks??? That... doesn't make any logical sense.

I think the original purpose behind the creation of the Dimension Mirror was to, quite simply, make a portal. The Mirror could have been the predecessor to the Lor Starcutter even! A kind of "stargate." Using it, you can see into MULTIPLE different dimensions, and potentially travel to the ones you wish to using smaller gate like mirrors scattered all over the place. (2)

But, like everything they built, the Dimension Mirror was a two-edged sword. And there came si~de effe~cts! We generally know that the Mirror Residents are like "worse" version of the people we've seen so far. So just imagine that everyone who traveled through the Dimension Mirror to get to some other dimension... left a copy of themselves behind? Similar to one of the more grisly theories on how matter transportation might be possible: that the best you could do would be to perfectly clone/replicate someone in a different position, all their memories intact, while quietly destroying the original as they :cough: teleport. BAM! "You" have now been transported!

With that in mind, the more it is used, the more copies are created, and thus... the birth of the Mirror World? It's certainly possible!

Why are they "evil" though? Well... that could be the "side effect" of wicked power developed off of the suffering of baby chinchillas or it could be that they aren't really all that "evil" to begin with.

Again, I argue that Dark Meta Knight is not really evil Meta Knight at all. (You can write the "corruption theory" for the purposes of fanfic or fan ideas or whatever but I WILL tear my hair out if you try to convince me/you believe it 100% based on evidence in game.) I think Dark Meta Knight is simply Meta Knight unleashed.

Shadow Kirby was considered worthy of being the "hero" of the Mirror Dimension. Bloody King Dedede is kind of a jerk but so was regular Dedede in the past. Plus, going by the stomach in the mouth thing, King Bloody seems to still be possessed by Dark Matter so we can't really know what he's like on a good day!

And then there are critters like King Golem, who is almost unmistakably Whispy Woods just built out of bricks and stone.

So, Mirror Residents simply misunderstood? I'd wager so.

But where is it and why does it persist? Those are all good questions that I don't have the answer to. I might have theories down the line... Are there mirror versions of the rest of the Star Allies? I suppose there could be, if any of them hopped through the mirror/got a really close look at it at any point! Do the people created by the Dimension Mirror truly "exist independently" at this point?

I... I don't know. To be honest, I think one really just has to work with the story that is the most interesting to them. Like... going by my theory above, the first Mirror Dream Lander would be DMK, the second would be Shadow Kirby, and the third would be Bloody Dedede, right? Or... is it?

In Dess's Unspoken-verse, Shadow Dedede has been around long before the days of Triple Deluxe and even before Amazing Mirror began. (Although that does make sense, given the Dark Matter thing would place his existence around at least Dream Land 2) So... Did King Dedede see the mirror BEFORE Triple Deluxe or are there Mirror versions of everyone already? Honestly, because the mirror seems positioned in the sky over Popstar, you could say that anyone who's taken a walk on a sunny day has a mirror duplicate out there!

But Magolor implied on Twitter he wouldn't have a mirror duplicate?! Is he just making a joke about his own wickedness/two-facedness? Did HE actually come from the mirror dimension originally or did he already kill (?!) his own mirror counterpart?!

TLDR, I have NO idea. But I think that until HAL comes back with more info N number of years down the line, it's fine to engage in writing whatever mirror HC suit you and continue to come up with fun and interesting mirror versions of the rest of the cast.

Speaking of, I still need to make my Mirror Marx + Magolor...

...

PS: Oh yeah, and are they all MADE of mirrors?! DMK sure seems to be but honestly, what does that even mean for them?! And how was he permanently scarred? Did the piece of mirror that got broken off when Meta Knight attacked him become lost sometime between that and the end of his fight with the Kirbys?!

...Mysteries...

-

(1) The way I ship Meta Knight x Dedede - when I ship it - is entirely under the table. No hugs, no kisses, no confessions, no ceremonies. They don't even admit to "loving" each other in that way. They are just "very important" (tm) to each other. Yadda-yadda-sworn-partners-yadda. But, because I'm me and I enthusiastically love tragedy, I like to imagine that Shadow Dedede and Dark Meta Knight were in love in exactly the way Meta Knight and Dedede weren't.

Keyword "were." Also "tragedy." You can figure out the rest I'm sure. ^_-

(2) So you notice how those portal mirror things kinda sorta vaguely resemble the goal doors? What are the chances that eventually, the Ancients DID figure out portal technology w/o evil twin side-effects and Popstar's goal doors are exactly that?!