#I AM BEING SO NICE TO MYSELF PROMISE
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Idk how he would actually react to this, it’s been so long since I played the game
[Komamiki week day 3: Cafe]
#IM SO BEHIND BUT IM BEING NICE TO MYSELF BECAUSE IM ALSO DOING ARTFIGHT#I AM BEING SO NICE TO MYSELF PROMISE#art#my art#cartoon#anime#danganronpa#komamiki week 2024#komamiki#komaeda nagito#nagito komaeda#tsumiki mikan#mikan tsumiki#coffee shop au
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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Freyja voice I'm So Sorry you had a Traumatic Childhood and it made you Stupid On-Line.
#I HIT TAG LIMIT ON THAT. FUCK‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#can somebody tell me it's gonna be okay.#or at very least say hey milo. that sounds insane. and not normal. but validating style.#idk it was normal. for me. for. a long time. question for the chat is it normal#for your mom to say shit like 'your brother is a lady killer a very handsome young man' and like.#phrased in such a way where it's like. the tone is exasperated but also like ? am i? supposed to be agreeing w this?#i mean objectively conventionally he has blue eys and nice hair. i can see why so many girls did like him.#but like man i don't know i haven't really seen the guy since he got sent to juvee. so. who's to say.#top ten things i promised i would never overshare online bc i felt it would be far too damning.#like. for real. i promised myself i'd never talk about my break up (i did. in a bout of moe lore dumping.)#and i promised myself i would never give any details about my brother.#and well.#i don't know am i going to be killed. or worse. pitied.#like like further context that was a car ride conversation when i was like. probably around 15.#and the bit right after is like. me being 15 about it.#man. am i gonna get shot and killed. be honest.
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so my general paranoia has always been pretty bad (hi ocd) but I thought it was more manageable the past few years as I've matured and gotten better at catching myself before I spiral, but recently (as in the past three weeks or so) it's been so bad that I do things impulsively as I'm spiralling without even realising it and it's been negatively affecting the way I perceive how friends think of me which I do NOT want to start happening again because that sucked. Idk why it's happening but I'd be grateful for any advice idrk what else to say about it.
#But anyways if you catch me acting really strange (more than usual)#or saying/doing things that seem overly docile or apologetic it's just another spiral don't worry about it#I genuinely don't know why it's gotten so much worse like I didn't change my meds I didn't change my diet I didn't change my habits#nothing crazy happened#I just have no idea#forcing myself to be vulnerable to my friends because I need help and it's about time I let people know that#affirmations certainly help but I feel so so bad asking for them like 'ohh I'm just fishing for compliments' or 'ohh I need someone to say#smthn nice every 6 seconds or I die' or 'ohhh I'm being so dramatic wahh' you know how it is#I at first thought it was just one or two occasions but no it's happened repeatedly consistently with ALL of my friends#and even coworkers and professors#I need to get out of my head I apologise to everyone who's ever had to deal with me spiralling#I promise I don't say the shit I do because I want you to feel bad for me I just genuinely in the moment am thinking that way#I know it's bad and after it's over I feel awful about it but idk what to do
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i am always really grateful to get comments and feedback on my fics, but you don’t need to insult other peoples’ work in order to be nice about mine. it’s not even a compliment to me, really. you could’ve just talked about what you like about my writing rather than the fact that you dislike someone else’s. if you haven’t managed to find any fics in a fandom that are for you, i’d be more than happy to give you some recommendations of my own. the natm fandom is one of the most creative fandoms i’ve ever been a part of and even i, someone who barely reads fanfiction and is extremely picky about the tropes i want to read, have managed to find a tonne of fics that i absolutely adore. if it wasn’t for those fics i wouldn’t be writing my own. you can be picky about what you read, like i am. but it doesn’t mean that every fic you aren’t interested in reading is bad, and it doesn’t mean that only the fics you enjoy are good. i do agree that putting your work on the internet and in the public eye is inevitably and inherently opening yourself up to the possibility of criticism or negative feedback, but personally i think that fanfiction isn’t exactly the same as a published novel. we are writing this for free, and providing it for free, with no guarantee that we’ll get any traction or appreciation for it at all. if you don’t like a fic purely because you just didn’t like it and you don’t have anything helpful or productive to offer, it’s generally better and kinder to keep that to yourself. just be nice <3
#to clarify: this person wasn’t insulting a specific fic writer or fic#it was just a general statement about the fics in this fandom#this is absolutely NOT me calling out or getting mad at the person who left the comment because like#there is every chance they didn’t mean it like that !! maybe i misinterpreted it#do NOT be rude or mean to the person i’m talking about on here or on ao3 please and thanks#that’s not what this is about#i’m just saying it’s good to be mindful of how you talk about other peoples’ fics and stuff#just be nice. you like what you like and that’s ok but you can be kind about it at the same time#i am so grateful that you read and enjoyed my fic !! but i promise there are other fics for you out there too#i don’t believe in ranking or comparing fics myself but#if im being honest there are a million fics in this fandom and half of them are way better than mine#and like i said. if it weren’t for those wonderful and beautifully written fics i wouldn’t have started writing my own
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#hello everyone how are you?#I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately#and I feel very light and okay#I am here mainly to get things straight#I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me#saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics#I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago#because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????)#and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is#it’s not clout and it’s not easy#being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me#im not using harry to gain anything#if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg#*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice#especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with#especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like)#louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do#so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters#(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei#their names and physical features#and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police#deciding who can read what and who can write what#because this actions only affect new writers in the way that#they will be alienated. they will feel alienated#and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that#ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day#you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on#will affect people on the internet and their mental health#stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings#and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this
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You know what? I love my body actually. Fuck everyone that ever made me believe that the best i could ever get to was maybe tolerate it.
#love my hair despite being bullied for it and being told to straighten it countless times#i love my scars despite being told that i should be ashamed of them they tell my story even when i can't#i love my body hair despite being told that it was shameful too since the very moment i started growing it (fuck that bitch in particular)#i love my thighs and my tummy and i love my weight now that i allow myself to eat until I'm full#i love my nose nd i think my nose bump is actually it's best feature#i love my smile even if it's a little crooked bc that's what makes it unique#and i love my flat chest bc turns out I have that transmasc swag HELL YEAH Jandjdns#some bitches wasted their time trying to make me feel bad about that one bc it is a blessing for me#'you don't have any boobs' 🥹🥹🥹 promise?#and it's not technically my body but i've been wearing them 24/7 since i was 2 yo so i feel like i get a pass for this one anyways →#i fucking love my glasses they are nice and they make me look nerdy which is GOOD bc I AM a nerd#and I'm studying nerd shit and the nerd building with a bunch of other nerds#curly hair and glasses are hot af actually... change my mind
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im happy to see an uptick of posts going around about bipoc selfshippers but it's making me have to once again attempt to mentally sort out if i fall under that label or not as a white-passing Métis person ;-;
if u notice that I'm not rbing any posts about that topic, it's because I'm still trying to sort out if I should be rbing those as a white person or as an indigenous Métis person fjfkdldl
#being mixed is weird idk fjfkdl this is confusing and my moral ocd doesnt play nice with it#it also doesnt help that my family hasnt engaged much w the culture until recently! before that it was just school events for indigenous ppl#that i was usually too scared to attend bc i was a very anxious kid and felt like i looked too white to attend djfjdkl#anyways fjfksl i promise im not ignoring any posts!! im just trying to figure out where i fit into it all#i dont want to be like... overstepping ever fjfjdkl i am trying to figure out how to engage w it before rbing anything#its a little funny to be struggling w this as a metis person bc djdkdl this is like... historically what we've struggled with as a ppl LMAO#we were often too white for the first nations ppl and always too indigenous for the white ppl fjfkdl so we made our own culture#so its just funny that im finding myself unsure and struggling w this question Yet Again SJDKSL historically and culturally accurate djfdkl#dandyshucks
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Hope I are doing alright! Rest all you need, take your time
thank you and likewise!! i'm getting through it, logging off when i need to, putting my energy where it needs to be. But i still enjoy being here and reblogging and posting when i can
#answers#my life has always been so chaotic that i promised myself very early on that art/ online projects would only be a hobby#and ive been very firm with myself about that. my fics and drawings and stuff are fun!! but i never feel bad about logging off#or taking time away. this is not a job etc etc. im here for funsies :)#that way i dont get bunt out or end up hating what i used to love bc of a sense of obligation#that being said i really am touched by people sending nice things <3 not understating that AT ALL
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I just think that the main barrier to being good at a lot of different things isn't about that you couldn't be good at it, it's about time, and it's about affording equipment and materials
It's gonna be a lot harder to find the time for even one hobby if you're working full time, and make no mistake, there's a real problem of getting what you need to actually work on stuff
#that's why if I ever did make videos about carving; I think I'd try to stick to just my knife and my gouge; cause that's 90% of what I use#one carving knife and a medium sized flat gouge will do a lot for you; I like my skew and such; but those two are what I need#I even have a feeling you could get by with an exacto (not nearly as good; but the point would be budget)#not sure what you'd use for the gouge#but if I did do videos I might look into it; would be kind of nice to be able to say 'it's not what I'd do; but he's a broke technique'#like... part of why I would only want to put out free stuff and no like... paid courses (which are fine)#is cause I'm used to being broke; that's who I want to help out; the poor fools like me#cause even people I like with woodworking on youtube who are about doing it on a budget... they still say to drop a fair bit of mint on it#and that's more for furniture making; but... love to do that some day too#and you know how I talk about stuff you know making it easier to do other stuff; there's a lot I think I could tackle with my knife#like... I'd like to once again kind of challenge myself if I did get into that#like what can I make with a dirt cheap saw; an exacto; and whatever I find for a gouge#how cheap can I make this to do?#And can I make it something they can do even if they don't have space?#like can I make it so they could do it over carpet if need be so long as they vacuum?#how unideal can I make things and still have it work? cause I think a lot of us are in very unideal circumstances#and to an extent who I most want to teach are the people who are like I was; in many ways still am#no really money making skills; trouble working for whatever reason; just kind of screwed#and I want to be able to say 'I can't promise you this'll work; but I've made it simple enough maybe you can try it'#'and I'm not saying you'll make money; but at least it's something; and at least it might be fun'#like... I can't recommend woodburing; that kit cost at least $100; think more like $200#that's not cash people have just lying around#I get that even asking to spend like... $5 on a saw; $5 on a blade; $5 on a gouge; and $5 on wood... even if I got it that cheap#I get that sometimes $20 is a big ask#I want to be able to say 'I'm not telling you it'll be your masterpiece; or you might not want to upgrade some of this stuff'#'but here's how you can go to some damn mega corp hardware store and come out with enough stuff to do this with little cash'#hard enough to get started on stuff; I want to lower the barrier to entry to as close to zero as I can#course... that means me getting more of my shit together; mean me building furniture and stuff#can carve at this point of course; though haven't in some time cause gotta get that commission out#not saying I make amazing stuff either; or that I know if I can teach at all
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I'm ngl was scared of going to one of my jobs bc i have certain trains of thought that get triggered in familiar places where i had those thoughts before especially when my mind wanders which is especially hard to control when idle/doing menial tasks and I'm not allowed to have music/ electronics so i can't distract myself easily. but work was so good today holy shit. my coworkers seemed happy to see me! i met someone really cool with similar music taste! we yapped for an hour! she told me to visit her in the future! i had a really busy and filled schedule! i get to play with kids! I get to help people! life is good!
#kk rambles#there are some thoughts that suck me into a hole so i just try to not go near them#and that's why it's been so nice to have someone at my doorstep almost every weekend lol#i went thrifting last week w my friend! I'm going to see a gallery this weekend! i have plans to go skating w my friends soon!#my friend has plans to go to a board game cafe w me! one of my friends is trying to get me to go to a con soon!#my friend told me she dreamed of cooking with me and saving my ass from a basketball lmao#i gave my neighbours baked goods and they told me i was welcome over anytime!#i keep imagining myself as a hikkikomori but maybe i also kinda am a 现充? am i making the most out of it? maybe?#the part where Kita was like oh i wanted to invite bocchi but i had plans every week... starting to realize that's... maybe... me..?#i had promised to meet up w a friend but it's been months and i still haven't put it on schedule yet bc life is so busy 😭#i am a ryo/bocchi at heart where I'm ok w being alone/sometimes i think nobody knows me but my masking skills are Kita level#everyone I've gone out with one on one wants to see me again! so there's probably something likeable about me!#I'm ngl being discarded really does shit to your mentality like even when I'm very aware sometimes i realize afterwards#what I'm like is not defined by how others treat me is what i try to tell myself#especially when the majority of people in my life treat me with care and respect and love! people like me!#i just get stuck on the small cases where things don't turn out well but. data analysis wise. we would call those outliers and discard them.#unfortunately the brain is not a computer and as heavily i lean into t vs f i still do feel emotions : D#but it's nice to be able to feel joy and appreciation and to feel really loved by my friends
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i came on here originally to say i was lonely and my head hurt but then some posts made me laugh so i’m reblogging them despite them being like the last thing i posted.
but such is life.
#my blue kazoo space puzzle is missing two pieces :/#and I’m on my period so looking at those old posts is hard but they’re also so far away like i started dating again already#and it got up there in number of dates but as it kept going it made me think more and more of Joey and that wasn’t fun#but i already have another guy lined up so that’s good i guess#but yea also being on my period doesn’t help#and just an update with work cuz no one asked for it#being split between two buildings is annoying#but anyways i dropped off James today cuz shavuos is this week#and tomorrow will be the second week I’ll be learning derech Hashem with Jeffrey so that’s nice#and i think Tamar will be at Hindy’s so maybe we’ll set up some actual chavrusa#but anyways i feel v distant from Gd like He’s not in my thoughts#but the challah bake was so nice yesterday and really gave me a good dose of just like Living For Hashem#though it’s faded by now but idk hopefully things just go well in life for a while#cuz things are just passing by and I’m spending days in a daze wasting them with screen time and not being productive but also trying#to be kind to myself because i /am/ on my period and this is all period talk and pain so#anyways#half promises half forgotten#and being almost 30 and all that#rant#there’s no real point to this post#just kind of catching up the last two months#i should shower and go to bed but idk if I’m gonna shower since Monday’s the only work day this week and James isn’t here so i can#stay up late but also i have no food#:/#well gn then#have some more funny posts maybe
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*gossip girl voice*
Hey, did you guys miss me?
Time for an on brand depressed journal entry :(
#so I’m working this summer#which is crazy because I haven’t worked since august- I promised myself I’d focus fully on classes#this job is with the co-op program so my school gave it to me and it’s with the government#and lemme tell y’all - this is the worst shit ever#i basically work with the military (hijabi working with the feds????) on top of that they’ve made it mandatory to work in person#since it’s a classified area they don’t allow phones so u legit have to lock up your phones the entire day#my manager doesn’t respect me and basically asked me to be the admin person on the team EVEN THO I AM LITERALLY A MASTERS STUDENT#i have to drive 1 freaking hour to the job - it’s legit outside of the city#ANDDDDD one of the other students has been bothering me😵💫😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖#I AM SO ANNOYED AND ANGRY AT MY CURRENT POSITION#i paid an extra $800 out of pocket to be in this coop and they’ve given me the worst placement with the worst position#if I could I would’ve quit after the first week#i made the mistake of being nice to the student and telling him I like football and NOW HE WONT FREAKING LEAVE ME ALONEEEE#I’m so depressed I just want to be alone at lunch and while I work but he’s always messaging me and pestering me#like bruh not even my manager pays this much attention to me#I want to tell him to leave me alone but idk how without being rude#I’m trying to figure out a lie that will get my manager to let me work from home#this is the worst thing ever#I legit cry every morning before I go into work like this SUCKS#i really needed to get this out#being unemployed was the best thing ever#and I vow to never work a job that’s in person ever again
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The thought of explaining to my mom at some point that I'm moving in with this guy I met at work (that I don't talk to her about because.... wait for it) because her immediate reaction will be that we're fucking, dating, whatever and that I'm stupid to do this (like she did) and I'm especially worried about the moment she discover he has kids because she has always maintained I am "confused" and that I would end up with a man and be normal. What a thought to get out. That's probably why I have a headache
#Yeah I live with my mom but by no means do I tell her anything important#I know where that road leads!#And like I told him yesterday - I don't make moves without really taking my sweet time with it#I wouldn't say yes to being room mates (we r room mates first and whatever else second)#If I didn't already trust his character. Mans just wants to take care of his kids and relax#I can relate.#I'm thinking way too much about way too many things. Ibuprofen and sleep#Now that I'm further in the tags#One of my favorite things about him and our relationship... whatever it is.... is that it makes me want to be a better person#For both of us individually. I told him I was going to sleep a while ago#I could stay up. But I essentially promised I wouldn't#and I am not in the business of breaking promises or lying to him#So it's a nice way to really actually hold myself responsible.
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I am a little creature largely made up of anxieties. There have been times in my life when it was worse. It’s currently significantly better. This story takes place at a time when it was pretty bad.
Food was a prison for me. I moved out early with very little idea of how to feed or care for myself. Every meal was a question mark. For three years I had Brendan doing most of the cooking but when things ended between us I moved in with some other friends. I suddenly had no way to feed myself again.
I was working at the sex shop and living with all my coworkers; a premise that would make sitcom writers weep. In that house, at the age of 24, I learned how to fry an egg. It was the only thing I knew how to do but by god, I mastered egg frying. I was so proud. I could now have one stress free meal a day of an egg on toast.
The problem was my roommates. Living with three other people is already tough but messes pile up alarmingly fast, especially in the kitchen. No one sees the whole mess as their responsibility but the one person who’s responsibility it absolutely wasn’t was mine, as I only ever cooked eggs. Glaciers moved quicker than the dishes got done, mountains of greasy unwashed dish ware were fixtures across the counters.
My friends occasionally cooked for me and each time I happily cleaned all the resulting dishes. This seemed fair.
But on my own I only used three implements for my egg. When I finished with my spatula, pan, and plate, I carefully washed them and set them to dry. Every time I came back to the kitchen there was nothing clean.
Crusted on ketchup, dried food, and unsavory residues plagued everything I needed to touch. So I ended up doing all the dishes twice, once to use my three implements and again once I was done.
I started to realize I’d come home, see the filthy pile of dishes, then go to bed without eating because I didn’t have the energy to wash it all. So I finally addressed my roommates about it. Please, I beseeched them, can these three things always be clean. I cannot function like this, and eating is already hard for me.
The answer returned: no. My request was deemed unreasonable and a counteroffer was made to turn off the small space heater I ran in my room in exchange for them magnanimously cleaning up after themselves. I declined, as my bones ached with cold everywhere except my room since no one else wanted the heat on. The impasse continued. I went to be hungry.
I noodled on it. I schemed. I plotted. And on my day off I went to a thrift shop and acquired a nice little pan and spatula. I squirreled them away into my closet. The plan was just to wash and dry it after meals and keep it in my room.
This is not how it went down. On day one of my pan coming home one of my roommates popped into my room to chat, glanced into my three quarters shut closet and immediately said, “What is that?”
I sighed and admitted my plan. All three roommates roundly condemned my plan as extremely passive aggressive. I tried once again to explain that I wasn’t eating, but my secret pan was now a source of contention, a precious resource held back from the collective.
Their discontent reached a fever pitch and I finally declared, “Fine! I will put my pan in the kitchen. On one condition. If I ever find this pan dirty, ever, I will scrape whatever is left on it into your bedding. I swear to god, if I ever come home to it being dirty there will be a reckoning.”
Terms were agreed.
The first month or two went okay. On the third month I awoke to eat breakfast and found my precious pan sullied. I grabbed it and marched upstairs. Betty was named as the culprit. I strode into Betty’s room and stood over her sleeping form like the vengeful ghost of dishes past.
“If you don’t get up and clean this right now I’m going to dump it on your bed.”
Betty groggily regarded me. “Seriously?”
“I have never been more serious.”
“It’s one time, can’t you just clean it yourself?”
“No. You promised.”
With much huffing and grousing Betty arose from bed and tromped downstairs, hastily cleaning my pan while I watched. “Happy?” She demanded.
I was. I made my egg, cheerfully cleaning the pan afterward, leaving it to dry.
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smoke and mirrors - chris sturniolo
chapter one
summary: your best friend Matt backs out of plans you had made together, so you replace him with his brother. the only problem is the two of you can’t stand each other.
{enemies to lovers, fake dating}
includes : explicit language, fluff, smut(penetration, oral, fingering, etc.), angst if you squint, lots of bickering, slow burn
wc: 2.4k
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a/n: first series! it won’t be super long, but I hope you enjoy. send requests for more fics!
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“Matt, you can’t back out now!” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare at your best friend where he lays on his bed, setting his phone down to look up at you.
“I’m sorry, love, something came up and I can’t make it,” he apologizes, shrugging his shoulders. “I can’t get out of it.”
You groan, throwing your head back in frustration. You had a family wedding to attend and already RSVP’d with a plus one, which was supposed to be your best friend Matt, who had lovingly agreed to pretend to be your boyfriend for the night. Your family was super invasive about you getting a boyfriend, and you wanted to avoid all of the comments and questions by just pretending to have a boyfriend for one night at the wedding, but your plan was falling apart.
“What am I supposed to do? I already told everyone I was coming with somebody, they’re gonna know I was lying if I show up by myself,” you tell him, trying to rack your brain for any ideas.
“You could bring Nick,” Matt suggests, picking his phone back up and going back to scrolling.
You scoff. “Yeah right, like Nick could pretend to be straight for an entire night. He’d be caught in less than an hour.” You shake your head, moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to Matt. “I’m gonna have to go on, like, Bumble or something and find some random to go with me.”
Matt looks up at you over his phone, waiting for you to lock eyes with him before he starts to speak. “I mean… I know one other guy you could ask.”
You tilt your head, excited to hear the suggestion, before you realize who he’s talking about and your eyes widen, head shaking rapidly. “Absolutely not,” you put your hands up, pointer fingers crossed over in an X. “I am not asking Chris, no way.”
Matt raises his eyebrows and purses his lips. “I told you I knew someone, I didn’t say you’d like what I said.”
You roll your eyes. “He would never say yes to me anyway, even if I did want to ask him.”
Matt shrugs. “Maybe. You could always bribe him, he loves a good bribe.”
You think about it for another moment, knowing it would be easier to get Chris to do it than it would to find some random guy to go to a wedding as a first date, but the thought of spending an entire night next to Chris made your skin crawl.
The two of you had never really gotten along, even with you being around as much as you were, you guys never clicked, in fact it was the complete opposite, always insulting each other any chance you got, ignoring each other, and always avoiding being in the same room by yourself, even if only for a few moments.
“I mean… I could try but I really can’t promise I won’t kill your brother, Matt,” you half joke, but not really. “Might turn you into a twin.”
“That’s fucked,” Matt laughs, using his foot to kick you lightly. “I‘ll still be a triplet, even if you kill him. I’ll just be a triplet with severe depression and no will no live.”
“You’re so dramatic,” you tell him through a laugh. “Your life would be so much quieter, wouldn’t that be nice? You’d secretly thank me for killing him.”
Matt shakes his head at you with a smile, though his eyes tell you he thinks you’re crazy, before looking back down at his phone.
“Killing who?” A voice sounds from the doorway and you look up to see the man of the hour staring back at you, a disinterested look on his face.
“You,” you smile sweetly up at Chris.
“That’s nice,” he says, flashing you a fake, tight lipped smile before turning to his brother. “Hey, can you take me to go get food?”
Matt groans and throws his head back, closing his eyes. “But I’m so comfortable,” he whines.
You take a deep breath and consider your options. Chris, who you hate but have known for years, or a random guy who might be a serial killer? You’d definitely be safer with Chris, but the thought of having to be near him without his brothers for an entire night seemed like hell. Especially having to act like you were pleased to be in his presence.
“I’ll take you,” you speak before you can stop yourself.
Both Matt and Chris look at you with shocked expressions, Chris having a bit of disgust in his eyes.
“I’d rather starve, thanks,” Chris replies. “Matt, c’mon seriously, can you take me?” He asks again.
“Chris,” you say in a stern voice, standing up from the bed and walking towards him. “Let me take you. I need to talk to you.”
Chris watches you walk past him through the doorway and then looks back at Matt, shooting him a confused look, to which his brother just shrugs, before he leaves to follow you, finding you by the front door slipping your crocs on.
“The fuck is this about?” He asks, trotting down the stairs to meet you by the front door. “You in love with me or some shit?”
You look up at him with an unamused expression. “You wish I was in love with you.” You huff. “I told you, I gotta talk to you.”
You open the front door and head outside towards your car, opening the drivers side door. You look behind you and see Chris standing in the doorway, staring after you. “I’ll buy your food,” you tell him, and he immediately shuts the door behind him and walks up to your car. “You should’ve led with that!” He says.
You both get in your car and you start driving. “Where do you want to go?” You ask him, turning your head to see him on his phone. “Chris,” you push, reaching out to smack his phone out of his hand, causing it to land on the floor.
“What the fuck, dude. Unnecessary.” Chris huffs, reaching down to grab his phone, but he tucked it between his legs instead of going back on it. “I don’t know, McDonald’s?”
You groan. “You always get McDonald’s. Can’t we get like Popeyes or something?”
Chris looks at you, raising an eyebrow. “Well I didn’t know you were gonna eat, too, jesus. Sure, Popeyes is fine.” He goes for his phone again, but you reach out and grab his hand, stopping him.
“Wait,” you start. “I actually do need to talk to you.”
Chris sighs and puts his phone away in his pocket completely, looking over at you. “Okay, spit it out then.”
You flash a glare at him quickly before returning your eyes to the road. “So… Matt was going to be my plus one for a wedding I’m going to, but he can’t go anymore because something came up, and I can’t ask Nick because he’s gay and that just won’t work, and so that just leaves you.” You tell him nervously.
“So what if he’s gay, your family homophobic or something?” Chris asks, annoyance lacing his voice.
You sigh and pull into the Popeyes parking lot, pulling into a spot and throwing the car into park before you turn your body to face Chris. “No, they’re not homophobic. It’s just… I kind of told them I was bringing a boyfriend.”
Chris stares at you for a moment before laughing, completely unserious. “You? A boyfriend? That’s hilarious. I can’t believe you’re lying to your family about having a boyfriend.”
You don’t laugh though, you just drop your eyes down to your lap, knowing that this was exactly how the conversation would go.
“Wait a minute, that means you want me to pretend I’m your boyfriend? Fuck no, I’d rather be single for the rest of my life. Forget it, dude, you’re shit outta luck with me.” Chris shakes his head, bringing a hand up to run through his hair.
You nod and start backing out of the spot, heading towards the drive-thru. “Yeah I figured that was how you’d respond,” you murmur.
You guys order your food, and you still pay for it, staying true to your word, before heading home. It was a quick but quiet ride back, both of you getting out of the car without a word, not even a ‘thank you’ shot your way. You take your shoes off and head back up to Matt’s room, seeing him in the same position you left him in, only now he was watching a movie, and you got in his bed to join him with your food.
“How’d it go?” He asked, reaching out to steal one of your fries.
“Exactly how I expected it to go. He laughed in my face and said he’d rather be single for the rest of his life than pretend to be my boyfriend,” you tell Matt, looking down at him from where you sat.
Matt smiles up at you, reaching out to pat your leg. “Sorry, kid. You tried.”
You nod and look up at the tv screen, starting to eat your dinner.
-
The next day, you’re sitting on your couch panting your toes and watching your favorite comfort show when you hear the doorbell ring, startling you as you weren’t expecting anybody over today. You look down at your toes and swear under your breath, seeing that you smeared polish along your skin.
You set down the polish on the table and stand up, walking to your door and pulling it open, jaw dropping in shock when you come face to face with Chris, the last person you expected to show up at your door unannounced. You almost wanted to rub your eyes in case you were mistaking him for another triplet, but you knew your eyes didn’t deceive you.
“Chris?” You question. “How did you get here?”
He rolls his eyes at you. “I ubered?” He says like it’s obvious. “You gonna let me in or what?”
You take a step back and let him into your house, shutting the door behind him. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You say, sitting back down on your couch. He follows and sits at the opposite end, looking over at you.
He ignores your question, watching you as you continue to do your toes, cleaning up the mess you made. “Why not just get your toes done?” He asks.
You look at him with an annoyed expression. “Costs money? Why spend money when I can sit around and do it myself?” You go back to painting your toes. “Why are you here?”
Chris shrugs. “Been thinking about what you said yesterday, about the wedding.”
You stop what you’re doing and put the polish back down, turning your attention on Chris completely. “Did you change your mind?” You ask him.
He sighs and licks his lips before speaking. “Consider it my charity for the year,” he smiles, tilting his head at you. “But I need a small favor from you.”
“A favor in return isn’t charity, Chris, it’s like… eye for an eye or whatever.” You look at him deadpan. Of course he’d want something in return, he could never do something for you out of the goodness of his heart.
“Whatever, dude, you want my help or not?” Chris asks. “If not I’ll just leave, doesn’t make a difference to me.”
You huff and give in. “Fine. What’s the favor?” You ask him.
He pulls out his phone, scooting a bit closer to you on the couch. “There’s this girl that will not stop hitting me up and she’s driving me crazy. I told her I’m not interested, I’ve ignored her messages, I even blocked her on snap to see if she’d get the hint but she still texts me every day.” He shows you all of the unanswered messages and your jaw drops.
“Holy shit, what does this girl see in you?” You laugh, reading how desperate she was for Chris.
“Funny,” Chris replies, unamused.
“What does this have to do with me?” You ask him, looking back up at his face.
“I think it’s only fair if I pretend to be your boyfriend at the wedding, you pretend to be my girlfriend on social media. Only for a few weeks or until she stops messaging me. Plus, you’re way hotter than her. ” Chris tells you, and by the tone of his voice, he’s completely serious.
You feel heat rising up your neck and you try to get it under control before your cheeks turn red. “You think I’m hot?” You ask him, a teasing lilt in your voice.
“Not the point,” he replies.
“So you tell me that you would rather be single for the rest of your life than pretend to be my boyfriend, and now you want me to pretend I’m your girlfriend?” You clarify, and he just nods, like it’s no big deal. “Pretending to be together at an event is one thing, but you want to take photos to look like a couple? That’s a little… intimate don’t you think?”
Chris shrugs his shoulders. “I’m a big boy, you’re a big girl. Don’t think you can handle a little physical touch without falling for me?” He smirks, leaning in closer to you.
You grimace and reach up to push his shoulder away. “Gross, dude. I could have sex with you and still not fall in love with you and your terrible personality.”
Chris gasps, fake shocked, throwing a hand to his chest. “I am a very good lover, why do you think this girl won’t stop texting me?”
Your eyes widen. “You had sex with her?!” You shriek. “Chris, no wonder she keeps blowing your shit up!”
Chris groans and throws his head back, leaning it on the back of the couch. “It was supposed to be a one time thing, I don’t know why she’s so hung up on me!”
You find yourself giggling a bit before you stop and clear your throat, not wanting to give Chris the satisfaction of making you laugh. You compose yourself and shake your head, clearly disappointed in the boy across from you. “Fine, I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend, but no kissing! I draw the line at kissing.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry, I don’t want to kiss you,” Chris cringes. “So… I guess we should start planning this?”
You nod and smile towards him, placing your hands in your lap as you guys start to figure out how to execute both individual plans.
-
a/n: this chapter is SUPER short but it’s kinda just to get a feel of the fic and how it’s gonna play out. I really hope you guys like this series im so nervous about it!!
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