#I ๐Ÿ’œ lilacs
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sunnibits ยท 7 months ago
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@gingerteaonthetardis ๐Ÿชป๐Ÿ itโ€™s time!! the bumblebees are out doing their hard work, and I pulled a branch down for a sniff and they smell soooo nice <33
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liliewrites ยท 6 months ago
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"MY CONVICTION"
a/n : hallo! part 3 of the worship series, and i am glad to announce that this series was a success!! yay, now that it's done. i hope you all look forward to my next one about to be released next week:)) thank u for readinggg hihi:)) again, big thanks to haddy for editinggg:))
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-warning/s ; somewhat religious motifs(?), NSFW, fingering. furina might be a little ooc.
-pairings/s ; furina x fem!reader
- where in; these three women worship you, their lover, when hundreds and thousands, even millions of followers would drop on their knees to ask for blessings, for mercy, for prayers - and yet for you, at your beck and call, they would do anything you ask as they kneel for you at the same time, as proof of their devotion to you.
(men and minors dni utc!)
โ€Mon amour.."
The Hydro Archon sighed happily as she stared at your sleeping face. The both of you lie on the bed you both shared, with her holding you in her arms. she tucked the strands of hair behind your ear for she cannot help but ponder, have you ever realized how dazzling you are? Oh, for every moment she spent with you, each one not only ingrained within her mindโ€” but burned within her soul. How could she forget? No, for she cannot. With every script she reads, for every poem she recites, for every song that she sings, if it relates to love that she feels for you then she cannot help but yearn for you. If she was deemed the star of Fontaine, then you were the muse of her every work.
To the people of Fontaine, she is the god of splendor and justice and with it, a heavy burden comes along and hides itself beneath the flamboyant faรงade she puts on whenever she bears the title. To her lover however, she was no more than herselfโ€” none more than a woman in love. The only time that she can ever recognize herself, was not when she held Fontaine within her hands, but when you held her within your own. She knows that she has a duty to fulfill, a prophecy to honor, an oath to her peopleโ€” but sometimes she cannot help but wish that things had gone a different path, where she could just be herself with you. She sighed wistfully, nuzzling her face in the crook of your neck as an unnerving feeling of longing sank into her chest.ย 
Unbeknownst to the Archon however, her actions caused you to slowly awaken. You donโ€™t move for a while, trying to grasp your senses for a moment. She only realized that you were conscious when you wrapped your arms around her waist as you let out a giggle, feeling ticklish at her nuzzling her face in your neck. โ€œMon amour, what.. oh, oh! I'm sorry, did I wake you up?โ€ she worriedly pulled away from you, a feeling of guilt for interrupting your slumber.
However, sheโ€™d be lying if she said she didnโ€™t feel her heart flutter at your gorgeous smile. โ€œIt is fine, cheri, Iโ€ฆ donโ€™t mind.โ€ You yawned, leaning in to kiss her cheek with a wide smile. Oh, Celestia, her fiancรฉ was both adorable and handsome even with bed hair and tired, morning eyes. However, you cannot help but noticed the melancholic stare Furina bore upon you and it worried you. โ€œIs there something troubling you, cheri?โ€ You ask, raising your head from her chest to take a better look at her face. The Hydro Archon seems surprised that you had seen through her, but this was not the first time you've had done so, you know her too well. Besides Neuvilette, it was only ever you who came to know her without her famous faรงade. She looked away, avoiding your gaze, not knowing exactly what words to say to you for she cannot admit her troubles.
You no longer press on, no longer wanting to make her feel uncomfortable or sad. So you leaned in to kiss her, causing her to be surprised once more but with a flustered expression this time. โ€œMon amour?โ€ she asked, confused from your sudden shift of mood. You smiled at her, said no more, before pulling her in for a kiss. As you pulled away however, you couldnโ€™t help laughing at the look on her face. Her cheeks a maddening red, her gaze flustered as she lay beneath you. โ€œMy Furina, you look so... baffled.โ€ You chuckled, sitting up on top of her.
Furina was a woman of many words, but at the sight of you, it was as if she had became illiterate. It frustrated her that she couldn't find the right word to properly describe you, for your radiance was far more beyond than simple words. All you were doing was sitting on her lap with a messy button on, and you had already taken her breath away. โ€œMon amour...you look so...โ€ her words laced with an obvious ache you couldnโ€™t find the reason of, but she pulled you in to press her lips against yours and you could feel the yearning from her kiss.
Needy kisses turned into needy hands, the Archonโ€™s hands slowly leaving your neck to settle on your thighs at her sides. you could feel her gentle caresses become needy grips, hands full of flesh, wanting to feel more of you as her sighs turned into whimpers. โ€œMon amourโ€ฆI need you.. .โ€ she whined against your lips, breathing heavily as you pulled away a little.ย 
โ€œThen take me, ma cheri..โ€ you mumbled, making Furinaโ€™s mind go hazy with the thought of only you. She looked at you with an enamored stare with her hands fumbling with the buttons of your button up. She was way too focused on her newfound intention to please you to feel embarrassed, but you found her trembling hands extremely adorable.
With your front exposed, her eyes froze at the sight of your bare body. Oh, gorgeous, gorgeous you. She immediately leaned in to press her lips against your tummy, loving the taste of your skin. Her hand went in to grab and squeeze your hips, completely addicted to the warmth that radiated from the fibers of your every being. You, you, youโ€“ her heart only wanted you and she could only hope that you wanted her the same way too.ย 
Whimpers left her mouth as she continued to kissed and sucked on your body, too lost in the feeling of drowning in the feeling of you to realize how your moans were slowly increasing in volume. Her lips met your ample chest, a gentle kiss. โ€œMon amour, I want toโ€ฆย  I want to hear from you, please?โ€ She pleaded, looking up at you with pleading eyes that bore into you, making you unable to say no. You answered her question with your hands finding its way around her neck, hands pressed against her nape with your fingers tangled in her hair.
With your approval, Furina had let herself loose with her desire to please you and abandoned all restraint from doing so. Her hand moved to caress your lower back, pulling you in closer to her as if she wanted you to melt into her. Her mind was only filled with you, the sounds you make and how you shiver with every touch of her hand. Gently, gently, she thought, you were none but a gentle briar to her. She felt as if youโ€™d fall apart with one wrong touch and that was against the best of her wishes. She only wanted to make love to you, to make you feel the enamor that youโ€™d sparked within her. Right now, she was not a god, but a slave to your rapture.
Her hand crept up to the middle of your thighs, softly kneading at your flesh. โ€œMon amour, if only you could witness the sight you behold, then youโ€™d come to know the desperation that you had invoked in me.โ€ She mumbled, not louder than a whisper as she slid her hand higher. Your breath hitching, eyes closing, it made Furina question whatever had she done that deserved to see such breathtaking wonders. Her hands tugged off your panties, wanting to uncover more of you despite the fact that you had shown more than she deserved to see. Her heart fluttered at the sight, your slick dripping down your thighs and onto her hand. To Furina, it was a blessing endowed upon her by Celestia above- no, for you were the blessing itself granted to her by Celestia, and she was more than honored to call you as hers, and to have been the object of your affection.
As if to test the waters, not wanting to startle you, she gently ran a finger along your slit. her actions caused you to let out a shaky breath, tickling against Furinaโ€™s skin. โ€œMa cheri, please- donโ€™t tease...โ€ You moaned in a pleading tone and Furina's heart couldnโ€™t handle the sound of your begging, no, she didnโ€™t want that. She wanted to hear your blessed sounds of pleasure, to have it ringing in her ears endlessly as you writhe above her.ย 
โ€œMon amour, Iโ€™m not trying to tease...โ€ She whined, sounding like a dejected puppy. Her fingers repeated the same motions from earlier, before finally complying to your wishes.ย 
โ€œSee? Iโ€™m doing my best to please youโ€ฆโ€ She mumbled in a whiny tone, wanting to prove to you her words, ending it with a kiss to your shoulder. She pulled you into her, as close as she could, as two of her fingers moved in to slowly feel your walls constricting around her. she couldnโ€™t help but let out a whine of her own at your moans, wanting and needing more of itโ€” of you and the blessing of witnessing you.ย 
โ€œMon amour, you sound so beautiful..โ€ she whispers against your shoulder, kissing it once more as her fingers increased its speed, trying to find the perfect pace to make you feel the same delirium she feels just from looking at you.ย 
โ€œMa cheri- youโ€™re doing great, moreโ€ฆ more...โ€ You pleaded in her ear, your hips bucking as you found yourself wanting more and more of Furina. Furina happily complied, absolutely delighted to see you immersing yourself in the pleasure. Her fingers pressed harder against the spots she knew you loved the most, her fingers settling on the pace that she was sure to drive you crazy.
Endless moans of her name spilled from your mouth, one after another, Furina.. Furina.. Furina, you kept repeating in her ear and with every mention of her name, you held onto Furina tighter and tighter. You toppled on top of her, completely leaning into her with your face buried into her neck as you felt your whole body weaken and tremble with pleasure, much to the Archonโ€™s delight.ย 
โ€œFurina- ma cheri.. I can't- I'm..โ€
You couldnโ€™t even find it in you to form proper words, so Furina pressed reassuring kisses upon the crown of your head, as she was unable to kiss your face even if she wanted to. Your nails were digging into her back and she could feel it through her clothes. A little whimper leaked out her mouth but her movements didnโ€™t falter. She kept going, wanting to see you reach your high and be immersed in it.
A loud cry left your lips as you completely reached your high, you could feel your insides throbbed around Furinaโ€™s fingers and she could feel it too. She watched you as you basked in your own euphoria, her mind capturing this moment like an eternal painting in her memories. You were far too out of this world, and as your follower, her belief in your enchanting allure remains firm and constant within her mind.
As you tried to catch your breath, Furina held you in her arms as she did before. It was only then when she realized that it was raining outside and as the fervor melted away, she could feel the cold air within the room and brush against her skin. Upon knowing that you were barely wearing anything, she immediately pulled the covers upon the both of you, cradling you against her to keep you warm.ย 
โ€œMon amour, are you feeling cold?โ€ she asks, concerned about your well being. You let out a content sigh, not budging even a little bit, just wanting to sink into her warmth.ย 
โ€œMa cheri, if I may ask now, what was it that was troubling you?โ€ You gently pry, but Furina knows she canโ€™t tell. instead, she presses a soft kiss to your cheek.ย 
โ€œNothing, mon amour. when the deed has been done, I promise you...โ€ She whispered lovingly into your ears, closing her eyes as she relished in her warmth- fearing that she may never once again, but she hopes that wouldnโ€™t be the case. โ€œI will find my way back to you, always. Mon cheri, even if Celestia forbids it.โ€
You no longer questioned her words, instead choosing to trust your lover. To the people of Fontaine, she was their god, their saviorโ€” you knew that she held many secrets of her own, a world that you cannot pry into yet to you, she was your lover. She was your Furina, the silly girl you had come to love and wished to hold. The woman on stage that you wished to kiss and yearn to be with for as long as you could. Alas, you couldnโ€™t help but sigh at the implications of her words. โ€œIf you say so, ma cheri. I love you.โ€ You answer and Furina feels as if all her burdens were taken away with your words.ย 
โ€œThank you for understanding, mon amour. I love you tooโ€ฆโ€ She replied and she does love you- she really does. All she had to do now was find a way to fulfill the promise to her people so she could also fulfill her promise to you, wanting to experience more of life's greatest joys beside the woman she loves most.
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mikari2008 ยท 6 days ago
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๐Ÿ’œ (I still donโ€™t have his costume yet)
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wagairah-wagairah ยท 1 year ago
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Guys please welcome my newest follower : @hell-lit011019 , welcome to my blog. Its very messy and crazy here
I hope we become good friends. Nice to meet you.
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gxtzeizm ยท 10 months ago
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this tumblr user here is in her 21 of age today ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ
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yellowloid ยท 2 years ago
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photos i took of alex that i can't stop staring at and for some reason make me Incredibly Emotional โ„ข๏ธ
(accor arena night one, paris, 09/05/2023)
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sister-of-the-rogue ยท 9 months ago
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Hi there!! If you're here, you probably know me from my selfship blog, @botanists-little-cookie!! My name is Fate, but you can also call me Lilac!! I had some reservations about posting abt my Dragon's Crown selfships on main due to the NSFW character design of some of the characters, so I made this instead. I interact from @arty-girl-asks, and my main/fandom blog is @mb-blue-roses.
No interactions of a sexual nature, please, and don't call me honey. Also, please don't interact with this particular blog if you're under 18!!
Dragon's Crown S/I & F/Os under the cut!!
F/Os
- Rannie the Rogue (๐Ÿ’œ - Brother Figure)
Tag: ๐Ÿ”“๐Ÿ’ฐ worth more to me than gold or jewels | rannie
- Elf/Katie (โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’ž - with Princess Vivian)
Tag: ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘ข friend of all that lives | elf
Ship: Two forests united
- Princess Vivian (โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’ž - with Katie)
Tag: ๐Ÿ“•๐Ÿ‘‘ heavy is the head that wears the crown | princess vivian
Ship: You're my luxury
(Elf x Princess Vivian Tag: Elfvian)
Polyam Ship: From the forests to the castle
- Fighter/Izaak (๐Ÿ’›)
Tag: ๐Ÿ›ก๐Ÿ– we'll shield each other | fighter
- Wizard/Viktor (๐Ÿ’›)
Tag: ๐Ÿงค๐Ÿ“š magic golden threads | wizard
- Sorceress (๐Ÿ’›)
Tag: ๐Ÿ”ฎ๐Ÿ’€ the future holds our friendship | sorceress
- Dwarf (๐Ÿ’›)
Out of these, Rannie is my main f/o (hence the blog name)
Tag: ๐Ÿชจโ›๏ธ through all our many layers | dwarf
Count Dean (๐Ÿ’œ - Uncle-in-law)
Tag: โ˜๏ธ๐Ÿ•ฏ the kingdom takes heart | count dean
S/I
Name: Lilac
Pronouns: They/ze/it/she
Nicknames (From Others): TBA
Nicknames (For Others): TBA
Other: An Amazon hero from the game, though they do dress more conservatively than in-game. Started looking at Rannie like a brother fairly quickly, and hir best friend is Izaak.
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wallpaper-inside-my-heart ยท 11 months ago
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Stella!! Huge props to you for consistently sending the smoshblr asks every day to so many people and taking the time to like or reply to what people answered. That was a huge endeavor on your part! And then, to turn it into stats is so cool!!
Hii, Lilac!!! ๐Ÿ’œ
Thank you so much, it truly means a lot to hear ๐Ÿซถ
And I am looking forward to (first finish calculating all of them and then) sharing them with y'all so much! Cause it's truly been interesting to note all the differences and similarities in the fandom across the different questions!
(there might be a new one coming out tmrw, if everything works out ๐Ÿคž)
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liliewrites ยท 4 months ago
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Hello, I wanted to ask your opinion about Arlecchino's relationship with the MILF reader!female?
TO WHOEVER YOU ARE ANON, SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER UR QUESTION AAAAA LOL
BUT, regarding arlecchino's relationship with milf reader, i'd like to think that arlecchino's utterly enamored with you. she may not show it often and well, but she is. for years, she's been taking care of children. she loves them, yes. she loves to see you take care of them too. the concept of loving a child, raising a child and all the troubles along with it are all too familiar to her, but she loves you and the kids nonetheless.
but the moment she sees you holding her very own child in your arms?
she'll never let a day pass without telling you how much she appreciates you. to see you go through the hardships of carrying her kids, to see you risk your life for them, and to see you holding them with such affection in your eyes? yeah. her life is yours. everything. she'll look at you with a gaze saying "shit, that's the mother of my kids" every single day. also you've just become 10x more hotter in her eyes lol expect her to shower you with a variety of praises everyday, sometimes even "why don't we put another bun in the oven" type of flirtatious remarks bwahahahha.
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kirstythejetblackgoldfish ยท 1 year ago
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Syrian First Lady Asma al-Assad visiting the diagnostic and radiotherapy department of Al-Bironi Hospital in Mazzeh, Damascus, Syria, today, 5 June 2023
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skyland2703 ยท 2 years ago
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62. What makes you happy?
Music. Its just music. Thereโ€™s a certain type of songs which put the :3 smile on my face and there is literally nothing anybody can do about it.
Like I watched a depressing two hours documentary and then this song โ€œShineโ€ starts playing and I go :3
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halfelven ยท 2 years ago
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wearing perfume could be elegant but i ruin it by constantly smelling my skin
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need-to-change-my-life ยท 1 year ago
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๐‘บ๐’๐’‡๐’• ๐’‘๐’–๐’“๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’ ๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’”๐’ ๐’„๐’–๐’•๐’† ๐’Š๐’ ๐’š๐’๐’–๐’“ ๐’„๐’†๐’๐’๐’‘๐’‰๐’๐’๐’† ๐’…๐’†๐’„๐’๐’“
๐Ÿค๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿชป๐Ÿชฝ๐Ÿซ
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veronicabunnies ยท 1 year ago
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happy pride month! i hope you are blossoming into your favorite self
โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸคŽ๐Ÿ–ค
image id: a collage of close-up photos of flowers, arranged in vertical stripes to form a rainbow. from left to right: pink rhododendrons, red rhododendrons, orange poppies, yellow lilies, green leaves, blue poppies, purple irises, and violet lilacs.
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weltato ยท 8 months ago
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LITERALLY ME
@lilacthebooklover MADE ME DO IT
THIS IS MY REALITY
I MADE A WHOLE BUNCH!!
have you ever read a fanfic so good that you wanted to write a fanfic about that fanfic, but was too shy / too intimidated to ask for the authorโ€™s permission and too afraid that your writing wouldnโ€™t be half as good as theirs and that it would be an insult to their work that was basically a literal masterpiece, so you just sat there fantasizing about their work and how beautiful it was and how you wished you could just eat it and how you wished canon could write your blorbos half as good as this writer did and how you just wanted to cry because you just loved that fic so much????
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liliewrites ยท 5 months ago
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So reader is childhood frnds with both arle & clervie(we can't forget this girlie), but like reader has this talent that lets her blend into the background with no one knowing like she's even there. This trio literally stick tgt everyday like if someone sees 1 of them they know the other 2 aint that far behind. So reader & arle had this obvious crush on each other(not that they r gonna say anything but its so obvious to eveyone who saw them cus they r kids). Reader then got sent to Fontaine from Snezhnaya to snoop around for info (this is b4 KingMaking). So while reader is snooping for info, KingMaking happens as canon & arle tried to find reader after she became a harbinger cus like she lost clervie alrdy & she just wants to know reader is still safe ya know. But like obviously arle couldn't find cus reader's talent of 'blending' works damm well. So arle got transferred to Fontaine for the gnosis, happened to find reader by 100% coincidence while on a walk, grabbed reader, carried her all the way to the hearth, had a VERY long conversation about what happened & decided to finally confessed to reader about the crush that has never fade despite being separated for so long.
๐Ÿ’ซanon
HALLLLOOOOOOOO ๐Ÿ’ซ ANON:DD i hope i do ur ask justice n feed all of u the good ol' slowburn n mutual pining w arlecchino:DD eat up!! also, i changed smth a little bit for the sake of the plot if u don't mind, but overall, it shouldn't make too much of a difference! tyy for requestingggg!! i feel like this isn't my best portrayal of arlecchino though huhuawkajdwas
-warning/s ; maybe ooc, clervie's death mentioned.
-pairing/s ; arlecchino x fem!reader
(men please dni utc!)
peruere didn't know what to do.
peruere didn't know that the last word's clervie to you would be "byebye, y/n! make sure to come back home safely, okay??"
peruere stared at her hands with an absent stare, her mind in full delirium as she just realized the atrocities she'd just commit. the children of the house of the hearth has fallen- and she was the only one left.. along with you. knowing her mother, she knew what she had done to clervie would eventually happen to you.
she wasn't going to lose you too.
thankfully, you were currently absent from the scene- as "mother" had assigned you on a mission somewhere within teyvat but she knew as soon as you came back you'd be suffering the same fate as the others if she didn't act soon enough.
her mind finally met with clarity, she picked up her sword- the very same sword that bore her sins against your friends and siblings.
the next day, you heard what had happened back at.. home. the house of the hearth was no more.
peruere had been arrested, mother crucabena had been killed by peruere. you didn't believe it at first, but when you also heard that the rest of the children had died a year prior to crucabena's death- you knew peruere had lost her wits at the last minute.
you were disoriented for a moment, unsure of what to do now that you had nowhere to come back home to, but you mostly worried about peruere. you thought of what they would do to her, you didn't want to lose her too. she's all you had left.
with a heavy heart, you never went back home. you had no choice but to use your ability to blend in within the street kids of sumeru, just so no one would recognize you especially the fatui agents that roamed the streets from time to time. you spent a few years within the streets, taking advantage of your expertise in the field of gathering information with your stealth and earned yourself a living off of it.
however, you just couldn't shake peruere out of your mind. constantly, she was on your mind like a nail lodged in your head. especially when the full moon had gleamed upon you it's blessed and gentle caress and had brought you comfort, did peruere witness it's beauty? or was she as lonely and lost as the moon in the vast darkness of it's own solitude akin to her own isolation within the confinements of her prison cell? it worried you greatly.
after a few years, you'd caught news of the newly appointed harbinger named arlecchino whom had inherited your "mother's" title, the knave.
there were different rumors that surrounded the harbinger, but they all pointed to her committing a massacre, calling her the "poor, mad and cursed" knave.
your chest thumped, you had a strong feeling you knew it was peruere yet you couldn't confirm it yet. you haven't seen any photos of the new knave, except for the fact that she's been stationed in fontaine within the newly rebuilt house of the hearth.
confirmed or not, you knew it was her-- it had to be. so you had immediately began to prepare for your trip back to fontaine with haste.
unbeknownst to you, said harbinger had been looking for you first thing when she had gotten out of prison. she knew you would have fled fontaine entirely as she had intended, but was also aware of your proficiency when it comes to hiding your identity. she knew it would be hard to find you, but she still carried on. she couldn't let the kids handle this, lest she could risk the freedom you had now from the life of being a fatui (which she hoped you had). so she could only hope, if there really was a deity out there that would hear her, that you were safe and alive and well.
you were, in fact, safe and alive and well. now you were taking your first few steps into the city of fontaine. when, honestly, as a child you've never been able to experience the city despite spending your childhood within it's region. "mother" had never let you leave the orphanage, not until you were "of age" to join the official ranks of the fatui.
you looked around, mesmerized by the people and their lavish clothing. the weather was much different from sumeru as well. despite not growing up within the city, however, you caught whiffs and scents of your favorite cakes from your childhood. truly, you may or may not be fontainian by blood, but at least you were by heart.
you spent the first few days, getting yourself to blend in within fontaine's society. you were still afraid and wary of the fatui, especially with how strict "mother" was to you which formed your impressions of the organization. eventually, after getting a place to stay, getting accustomed to the city and dressing yourself in the same clothes as them- you could now officially, once again, call yourself a fontainian.
however, the reason why you came here in the first place was still on the very top of your head, you had to see peruere no matter what. you kept your eyes open for any signs of her monotone colored hair. you kept your ears alert if you'd catch any drift of her name, peruere or arlecchino, to no avail.
you let out a sigh, feeling unsuccessful. you weren't about to give up, but decided that you should rest and call it a day. it was getting late, so you had gotten up from the bench you were sitting on to go and head back to the inn you were staying at.
.. then suddenly, you had been robbed of your sight then consciousness.
your eyes fluttered open, but your eyesight had been blurry. the first thing you've realized is that your feet was off the ground and you were being lifted up on the air. your fight response kicked in, and you had tried to wriggle your way out of your captor's grasp.
"let go of me-"
immediate silence. you knew those eyes as she looked down at you. just from her look alone, you knew she had sent you a warning to stay silent.
but that wasn't the reason why you were still, it was because of those those x shaped pupils of hers that bore into your soul that you've come to love.
".. p-peruere? is that.. you?"
she froze for awhile, before continuing on walking.
"later. we can't talk here, keep your face hidden."
you nodded, returning back to your tucked position as she carried you in her arms. you could feel your heart thumping, beating- you've never felt this way since you've last seen her.
once you've arrived at your destination, you noticed that she's brought you within a building. a private study room, it seems. she carefully placed you down on the couch, before sitting on the chair in front of you. you've finally had a full view of her, and both of you had eyes full of shock at the sight of each other.
you were the first one to shatter the silence, immediately tearing up and throwing yourself in her arms. for a while, she awkwardly placed her hand on your waist. you couldn't help but let out a fond chuckle. after all these years, she still acted as if hugging was an alien thing.
you leaned back again, sniffing. she's definitely went through a lot. the apathetic look on her face was much more hardened, more sharper. she looked intimidating, especially with her upright stance and poise of a full fledged military officer. which in her position's case, she was.
she reached out to grab your hand. feeling you, touching you, as if to make sure that you really really were alive and in front of her.
see, the knave was not one to show emotion since she was a child, and you knew that.. but the way she acted now, it bothered you.
".. what happened? where have you been?"
she asked, pulling away from you to regain her composure. her voice was much more deeper now compared to a few years ago. you couldn't help but blush at the sound of it. the way she talked, it lacked warmth, she sounded stiff and stern.
"me? why ask me- what about you?! you're a harbinger now, pers!"
you exclaimed, causing her heart to still for a moment as you called her by that affectionate nickname she hasn't heard in a while. "i'll explain to you, sit."
her way of speaking was much more commanding, more authoritative, but it didn't scare you. rather, you were astonished at how much more polished she's been after all these years.
you sat down next to her, listening to her relay to you the past events that have happened while you two have been apart. she spoke in such a way that she sounded like she was reporting a mission or an assignment, making you feel amused even more as you listened to her speak.
your peruere has really grown up a lot, hasn't she? it made you think that you were wrong, maybe she's not peruere anymore. it made sense, she was called arlecchino now. it made you feel like you've truly lost her forever.
"i see. i'm happy to hear that the tsaritsa has pardoned you, our tsaritsa is truly blessed.." you muttered, looking away as you sighed. arlecchino noticed the melancholic twinkle in your eyes, causing worry to stir within her. "is there something wrong?" she asked, yearning for you to look at her again.
she wouldn't say it out loud, but she missed you, dearly.
you were silent for a few seconds, before letting go of her hand. the look in your eyes made her feel dread-- dread at the thought that you now hate her for killing clervie, for killing "mother", for destroying the place you had once called your "home".
arlecchino was used to being called a monster, a murderer, a freak by many and she could take it.. but from you? oh, it tore her apart. she felt like she'd truly lost you for good.
you looked at her, wanting to ask her if she was still your peruere.
she reached out again, wanting to make it clear to you that it had to be done to protect you.
"do you loath-" "-my peruere?"
both of you had talked at the same time but arlecchino heard your words loud and clear. she just had to hear it again for confirmation. "..pardon?" she asked, blinking at you in confusion.
slightly embarrassed at the thought of being a grown woman whom still referred to her affectionately as "your" peruere after all these years, you really didn't want to ask again, but you needed assurance.
so in a smaller, more hushed voice, you asked again.
"are.. you still my peruere?"
".. you don't hate me?" she asked, a bit dumbfounded that out of all the things you could say, that was the first thing that came our your mouth. it should've been obvious that she's yours, she always has been and she always will be.
"why would i hate you, per- arlecchino? you're my best friend..!" you exclaimed, a bit dumbfounded for her to think that you hated her. you weren't blind to "mother's" ways of raising children. it would've happened either way.
you started to tear up a little, calling her arlecchino felt bitter to the tongue. you've waited all these years, looked for her high and low, and now that you've seen her again.. it felt like you were facing a different person.
all the fears that had built up within arlecchino through all these years had drifted away. you didn't hate her. you didn't resent her for killing clervie. for ruining everything. she was glad that you were still the same woman she loved.
she pulled you in for a hug, albeit a bit awkward, she pulled you in as close as she could. "of course. of course i'm still your peruere. just.. refrain from calling me that in public." she told you, wiping away your tears with her hand.
her hand- her hand, oh archons! "pers, what happened?!"
you exclaimed in horror, grabbing her hand and carefully examining it. you knew of her curse, and it seems that it has taken over her. "worry not. it's been years since the curse had fully manifested, i am fine now" she reassured you, then, holding your hand in hers.
".. did you mean it when you called me yours?" she immediately asked after, looking down at your intertwined fingers. her thumb swiping against yours in a soothing manner.
"why of course, pers, you're my best friend!" you told her, your cheeks becoming flushed as she held your hand in a rather.. more affectionate manner.
"no, no. what if i wanted you to call me yours in a different way?"
she then looked up at you again. her eyes were filled with conviction, with a subtle hint of desperation and enamor. "i'm a woman who's dull to the concept of loss after having witnessed many losses and failures.. but you, i've lost you once. i cannot bear to lose you again. please stay, mon amour." her voice wavered for a moment as she held on to your hand tightly. "please, y/n." her face did not show it, but with the longing stare in her eyes, the way she held at your hand. she was devastated at the thought of losing you again.
your heart broke at the sight of her. you knew, she was still your peruere. within your presence, arlecchino was gone. within your presence, she is peruere. the same one whom would eat your favorite cakes with cakes with you, the same one who would cling on to your shirt as she followed you around, the same one who'd let you use her as your blade in a fight even if she knew you were capable of fending off on your own. arlecchino wasn't asking you to stay while professing their love to you, it was peruere.
you smiled at her, leaning in to lean your forehead against hers.
"of course, pers. i'm here to stay. i've found you again, i'm never going away. i'm glad to be home." you whispered, feeling that familiar warmth from her presence that you've come to know and love. "home?" she asked, a bit curious as to what you meant. "did you mean the orphanage? the current house of the hearth is much different from what we've grown up to, mon amour." she told you, your heart fluttering at her calling you that way. "no, silly. i mean you, pers. no shelter nor place can compare to the warmth and safety that you provide." you muttered and arlecchino let out a soft sigh.
"is that so? then.. i'm glad to be your home." she closed her eyes, basking in the moment of having you near her after so many years of separation. "then i am proud to be the one you call home. for as long as these flames course through my veins, i will always keep you warm and safe." she mumbled as you closed your eyes as well, relishing in the long lost comfort you've longed for.
"still.. i'm happy that for once, my flames have brought a different feeling than fear.." "yeah.. we still have to work on your hugging though.. seriously, pers. you're bad at hugging!" "what- can you blame me? i was never one for affection!"
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