#Humans are Hylian Space Orcs

[cosymelody]

Honestly, I've also read a lot about how humans are like space orcs, now I have weird ideas that in the Linked universed x Reader harem, it's Reader who has the pants on (I strangely have the feeling that the Chain would be thigh men and are a bunch of absolute simps who would die to carry Reader on their shoulders just to feel her/his thighs-)

Y e s

T h i s

I live for this stuff ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ

No but fr, the Chain (plus Calamity, Sage, Courage, Koridai, etc.) would absolutely FAINT if they so much as had the honor to have your gorgeous thighs wrapped around them in any way, ESPECIALLY THEIR HEAD DEAR LORD THEY COULD DIE HAPPILY THEN AND THERE IF THAT HAPPENED

Doesn't matter if you got thick or thin thighs, they love them either way because it's part of you! They love every bit of you but your thighs are one of the things that have them weak, like melting into a puddle type stuff and it would be even worse if you wore tights/pants that fit around you tightly

If we're going by the 'Humans are Hylian space orcs' deal, it would be a bit of a struggle for most of the Links to carry you (except for Time, Twilight, First, and Fierce or maybe a few more) but imagine Human!Reader who is stronger and faster than the Chain by a lot since Humans had to endure harsher climates and situations in their world

OH OH imagine if Human!Reader was taught to fight or at least have some self defense by friends or family in their world, so when they see Warriors and Twilight sparring, they have the urge to test themselves to see if what they learned could actually be useful

Of course most of the Chain is skeptical and resistant to this idea (most likely around the time they first meet Reader so they don't know their true potential) but after a lot of convincing and Reader giving them that Puppy eyes look that they absolutely can't say no to, they fold like a sheet of paper but some of them silently agree to go easy on them so they don't get hurt while others want to test them and prove that Reader needs them so they'll be safe

You go up against one of the boys (choose which ever Link you like) as practice just to see what you can do, but you easily have them pinned down once you have your legs tight around their neck in a head lock, almost choking them but not hard enough to do so or crush their skull

Said Link freezes up and let me tell you they are on the verge of passing out from the amount of blood rushing to their face as well as other places ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and they just lay there, trapped by your thighs as they pray to the goddesses to never be let go or to have Reader squeeze just a little tighter just please a bit tighter-

And the other Links are SOOO JEALOUS because THEY should be the ones in that position, THEY should get to feel your sweet thighs choking them, THEY should get to feel that euphoria that the one you have trapped is feeling oh and the other Links woul be begging you to spar with them from then on out just to have a little hope that you would crush them with your legs

Honestly, this is one of my favorite things and I might just expand on this idea more if anyone wants to add on to it (◍•ᴗ•◍)

[gliphyartfan]

What do you think about the au humans are hylian space orcs?

Aaaa…hmmm

Ah yes I read that~

Four would be both bewildered and captivated by the fact that his best work can’t withstand Reader’s sheer strength. (Also most likely devastated that there is another person other than Wild who destroys weapons)

After watching them break or dent a weapon that took him days to make, he’s immediately on a mission to craft something that can keep up with them.

If given the opportunity, he’d spend hours, maybe even days, experimenting with Hylian metals, Goron ores, and enchanted gemstones, all in an attempt to create a weapon worthy of their power.

Each weapon he hands them is tested rigorously, and each failure only motivates him further. (Cause if it can handle their strength, than Wild can finally have one that won’t break.)

Each of Four’s colors has an opinion on the project too!

Green tries to focus on durability, while Blue insists they need harder materials.

Red wants to add enchantments for safety, and Vio is all about elegance and versatility.

They even argue over who’ll be the one to present Reader with the final weapon (whenever they feel it’s perfect.)

Compared to Hylians, I think along with strength and durability, Reader would have sharper senses, especially smell and sight. (Well sharp for a Hylian, pretty normal for humans)

They could detect subtle hints of smoke, monster musk, or even a change in the wind long before the others notice anything.

The group quickly learn to rely on them, amazed that they can smell monsters at a distance far in advance. (This is good if Reader isn’t one to fight but feels the need to still contribute in some way to the group.)

Their heightened smell would definitely be both a blessing and a curse. While it helps detect enemy movements, strong scents like Goron Spice can be overwhelming. Reader often comments on how powerful some Hylian food and potions smell, much to the Chain’s amusement.

Many monsters would find Reader intimidating. While some enemies are too mindless to notice their differences, others sense Reader’s uncanny strength and primal aura.

Think about it! Strong, intimidating monsters like Hinoxes and Lynels would seem to respect them in a strange way, viewing them as strong enough to leave them alone (not strong enough to beat them but just strong enough that Reader could pass through their territory without anything other than being eyed by the beasts.)

Stalfos and other undead creatures could be particularly wary; maybe they almost sense that Reader’s bones are different, somehow denser and harder to break, and they find Reader’s resilience unsettling. (But in general Stalfos and undead don’t really think so they probably are part of the mindless pile)

But if they did think, they’d most likely be frightened by Reader. Seeing Reader throw one of their own in a moment of frustration or lift a broken weapon sends them into a panic. (But probably not)

Time would both irritated and fascinated when (y/n) steps in to protect him. It messes with his self-assigned role as the group’s guardian, and he’s unused to the idea of someone else shielding him.

Initially, he tries to brush it off or even scold Reader for stepping in, but when he realizes how capable they are, he probably feels a strange sense of amazement(and a little embarrassment).

Over time, he probably grows to trust their strength and finds himself relying on them almost reluctantly, (but quietly respecting them for it.)

Warriors at first, would be annoyed when (y/n) jumps in to protect him.

He’s used to being the captain and doesn’t want Reader risking themselves on his behalf.

But after seeing their strength in action, he’s deeply impressed (and a little possessive). He’s soon insisting they train together, hoping he can learn from their unique approach to combat and maybe teach them some of his own techniques. (That depends on if Readee uses a sword of any weapons Warriors is familiar with)

He views them as a powerful asset to the team, and while he admires their independence, he can’t help but feel a little territorial when Reader fights for him. (As he should.)

Wind is completely in awe of Readsr, seeing them as a heroic figure straight out of a legend.

He loves to hear their stories of Earth and insists they teach him to swim against strong currents. (Maybe he’ll finally last longer than several moments)

Reader’s strength make him want to be better, and he’s soon clinging to them for advice and guidance on everything from combat to survival. He’d bring her little souvenirs he finds, hoping to impress her.

But he DOES get a bit envious of their strength. Wind does occasionally feel like the little brother of the group, can get a little insecure them her handle monsters with ease. He’ll go out of his way to show off in front of them, trying to prove he’s just as tough, even if he sometimes bites off more than he can chew.

Hyrule would be fascinated by their physical resilience, and he’s constantly asking questions about human culture, Reader’s world’s monsters, and even their sense of smell. He’s especially amazed by what types of food they eat that he knows would make him deathly ill, and that always leaves him reeling.

Whenever they’re around, he’s watching her intently, absorbing every detail he can to better understand her.

Despite their strength, Hyrule can’t help but feel a deep protectiveness for them. He sees their slower healing as a vulnerability and insists on caring for their wounds and ailments whenever they appear.

He views it as his personal responsibility to make sure Reader’s safe, even though they can obviously handle themselves.

Wild is both amazed and a little intimidated by them (mark him down as scared and horny). He’s never met anyone who could eat the wildest Hyrule dishes without complaint, and he admires their adventurous spirit. They form an immediate bond, exchanging survival techniques and constantly pushing each other to new limits.

The two of them often find themselves in playful competitions, seeing who can handle the spiciest foods, carry the heaviest pack, or endure the most extreme conditions. (Reader tends to Win the strength contests)

Wild sees them as a kindred spirit, though he’s always secretly hoping to impress them.

Legend is equal parts fascinated and annoyed by their strength. He’s used to being the seasoned hero, and watching them take on monsters with brute force is both impressive and a little insulting. Still, he’s curious about Reader, even if he’d never admit it.

Though he’d roll his eyes at their antics, Legend keeps a close eye on them, never quite able to shake the sense that they’re different.

If Reader picks Twilight up, whether in Hylian or wolf form. He’d freeze, mortified and embarrassed by the gesture, but over time, he becomes completely enamored with the way they so casually carries for him (he’s used to carrying, not being carried and he’s learning why people like it so much), and he finds himself eager for their attention, even if he’d never admit it.

Twilight can’t shake his instincts to shield them from harm though. He’s constantly watching their back and getting defensive when others approach Reader, feeling deeply possessive over them.

Sky wouod be enchanted by Reader from the beginning. Their strength and resilience remind him of a knight’s bravery, and he respects Reader to the point of awe sometimes.

He’s constantly seeking reasons to spar or train with them, trying to absorb as much of their human technique as he can. Definitely asks them to nap with him, definitely loves when Reader picks him up and carries him when he’s still sleeping.)

Sky would be deeply curious about Reader’s world’s monsters, (or lack of) and he’d always be asking questions about Earth.

[the-moon-files]

Wait, quick idea! Twilight looks like the only hylian in his village because everyone else has round ears, so what if he wasn’t as surprised as the others to see their human companion so resilient, but still fairly impressed because of the fact that most if not all people in his village don’t put themselves in as drastic situations as the reader? Or is this just humans from our world?

get out of my head lmao /lh - you, me, and wayfayrr are actually the same person on diff accounts LMAO

im of the belief that (blame @wayfayrr, my beloved) that he knows of humans bc of some in his village but yeah, just not the type of human in drastic situations

(ALSO they wrote me a fun, long, glorious, male reader human space orc au fic for winning their raffle a bit ago, and it brings up their headcanon abt this and i Adore It actually, check it out here pls if u wanna know🤲)

(also if u see this wayfayrr, sorry for the ping, also should i be calling u moss? or wayfayrr?? idk which, i hope thats even ok to ask 😭 i assumed u would call my ass Moon)

Moon: Male-Masc Reader (he/him)

Orbit: short headcanons-ish, rambling mostly

Stars: Twilight Princess Link (Twi/Twilight), mentions of other Links

Comets & Meteors: CWs: none known, & TWs: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

to reiterate what i said up there, in case u skipped it for the bullet points,

i like the headcanon he knows humans, knows some of their quirks, and how they were the first ppl the other hylian villagers called on to help stuck cows or downed wagons, lots of heavy lifting stuff

but he really hasnt seen the extent of real humans, bc the humans who were in Ordon, well, they lived in hylian society,

why would they need the adrenaline to lift a car when hylians have set up whole tools and systems in all their towns to help lift just a full bucket of water out of the well??

not to mention, i think all the humans in his village were older adults? like at least not the age theyd be doing things like parkour or going to any trampoline parks type of age,

id imagine its more like stories talked about amongst hylians how hard humans can go, and even the humans themselves talked abt things like,

“well compared to u hylians, we have stomachs made of molten lava to you guys really, but we never have to use it, bc u know hylian food works just fine”

when Twi asked they would say stuff like that, but as soon as he saw ur human ass just picking wildflowers and berries off the side of the road to snack on? even random grasses/vines at some point (kudzu)?? easily eating Wild’s Dubious Food that's DEFINITELY got monster parts in it???! gnawing on the bone of a cucco and it just breaks??!!! and you look surprised too, thank fuck finally a normal reaction from u- oh my goddesses u were just curious (damn the elders were right abt human curiosity too) **and are now sucking out the marrow and eating the bone-!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twilight’s perspective of you is actually the equivalent of like, reading stories about vampires all ur life, then this new friend you made starts to get allergic to garlic, crave blood, has crazy strength and advanced senses, etc

and he’s just watching those honest-to-Hylia human mythological feats play out in real time in front of him, like he’s the only self-aware character in the story that immediately clocks the really obvious vampire as a vampire lmao

is the first to either 1. start choking on his laugh as he theoretically knows ur about to jump on the back of a lynel/hinox to ride it around and watch as the others come to the same conclusion OR 2. try to Stop you from jumping on said big monster in an attempt to ride it around bc he gets used to ur human BS quicker than the others and can see it coming a mile away now lol

very much so this meme:

(ur welcome i made it myself <3)

anyway id love to rant abt this dynamic

abt both Twi’s shock at you eating peppers like a god has come down from the sky to prove their immortality,

but also poor rancher esstientally humansitting you too lmao

the Chain/Time/Wars absolutely put him down as the resident human expert like: “ok he just drank like, 5? No- Four stop him from drinking more at least- (dual sighs). okay, 6 stamina potions, will that kill him??”

Twilight, saviour of Hyrule, of the Twili, Link from Twilight Princess himself,

has to keep a record book of all the new shit he’s heard/learned about humans in Ordon, what he has actively learned abt ur ass just fucking around and finding out, and the few bread crumbs of information u give him abt ur species

(that rlly just come off as kind of cryptid statements abt u/humanity, or don't apply in this scenario bc ur only comparison is Earth Rules, which honestly scare every single fucking one of them in the same way as walking on Ganon’s lawn or something, like straight up view ur home planet as enemy territory, the Amazon jungle, the Hyrule wilds if you will-)

Twilight also gets involuntarily volunteered for human-sitting duty too

tbh the only person Not allowed on human-sitting duty, when u guys go new areas esp, is Wild/Hyrule

you’d tell him you wanna get inside the guardian robot to operate it and ride it around and he’d probably be in shock you even fathomed something like that, yet also now EXTREMELY intrigued to watch it play out

(they’re both more of a “u wanna jump off a cliff?? that's actually crazy, wait for me please.” he seems to think he can somehow protect you if he joins you? its worked sometimes to be fair to him ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ just not really conveniently when the rest of the Chain are around lmao)

☆

i live btw, ive been writing/updating fics along with life updates (moving states/new job/online class) so a few asks will hopefully be answered over here in the next 2ish weeks

no promises, my life is kinda girlbossing at the moment too close to the sun and i am Nervous abt disappointing u guys

i already feel like im disappointing my other blog bc i haven't posted in forever bc im writing a fic instead of asks during any free time i dedicate to writing for it so :/

pls excuse my super slowness like a package ur waiting for in the mail or smth type of slow

AGAIN thanks for the ask!! i hope this was at least entertaining to read as some addon to what u said, you guys have gotta check out some of wayfayrr’s stuff if ur into this, bc they're the only other place i can think of that's talked abt humans not just being the same as hylians

have a great week!!

Peace out hugs and chaos,

🌙

[wayfayrr]

WE BOTH BE SIMPS FOR SKY ✨ THE PRECIOUS BEAN <33333 He has my entire heart, I love him smmm

But also now, got me sad for Sky cause poor baby deserves to get the experience of self expression through tattoos </3 which I think would work especially well in, say, self aware au, cause I would get to take him to get his first tattoo <33333 paid about $900-1K for all three sessions for my entire sleeve, I will gladly pay whatever for anything he wants done <333 especially if he wants a colored tattoo <3333

But also I’d love to know more of your thoughts on the whole Human vs Hylian thing, what are some key differences between hylians and humans that you haven’t had the opportunity to bring up yet? Doesn’t even have to be key differences, I’d just love to learn more on what your thoughts are <3

~🍀 anon

YEAHHHH SIMPS FOR THE BEST BOYYYY <333

I think sky would actually really want to get a tattoo after learning how they're pretty common for humans (he'd also want to either get one to match one of yours or a new matching set with you <3) but I think he'd want it to have an important meaning - his first one (only ones with self aware sky) has something to do with you, say your favourite flower or something that reminds him of you I also think he'd get something symbolic of crimson (also that price range for a sleeve sounds like a steal from the prices near me ong)

as for other headcanons about humans/hylians? One thing that I've been thinking about but haven't brought up is spice tolerances, and how Hylian spice tolerance is utterly abysmal compared to humans

remember this scene with the goron spice being used as a threat? I think that goron spice is about on par with a mild curry/chili powder.. Wild - They're using something that for most won't really register as spicy to punish the chain for the whole thing with the vai outfit.

Sky probably has a pretty low spice tolerance too but his is more because he's never had anything remotely spicy in his life, he could grow to have more of a tolerance whereas wild has had his body changed a lot by the sheika juice so I think certain tolerances of his got bumped up by a lot too - cal would want to eat it and struggle through but wild just eats it like no ones business In general I think that hylians just have a worse track record with anything you'd eat caffeine, poisons, alcohol, spice and even mint can make them struggle sometimes (Do NOT give wind an energy drink so help you)

I also think that hylians have a pretty weak immune system compared to humans, however it's also rarer for a hylian to get sick than it is for a human to cause of ✨magic✨ if any of the chain were to catch just the common cold from you or sky it will take them OUT, for humans the symptoms are just a runny nose, sore throat, cough and a fever for the hylians all of those things are dialled to one hundred - you get a sniffle? Time can't breathe. sky has a mild cough that he's trying to milk to get you to give him hugs? Warriors sounds like he's hacking up a lung and is that blood he just coughed up!!??

I also think hylians are unable to knowingly lie, like white lies are possible and if they fully believe what they're saying is true then they can. But an outright malicious lie or something like the turncoats? It isn't possible without dark and/or potent magic affecting them in some way. (or by having a human spirit instead of a hylian one >:3c) this also means that most hylians cannot use sarcasm, or at least not very well do with that what you will <3

[librarygarten]

Chain x Space Orc! Human! Reader

Been thinking about those humans are space orcs posts. I know I'm not the first person to think of this, but the idea of humans just being built different than Hylians has been living in my head rent free.

You had been traveling with the chain for a while now. Long enough for them to notice you were different from them. For one, your ears were round, not pointed, but that difference was easy enough to dismiss. No. It was apparent that you were built… different.

It had all started when the group was transported into Wild’s Hyrule, directly onto Mount Hylia. Wild had been quick to pull out warm clothes for the group, but even bundled up in cloaks everyone couldn’t help but shiver in the icy wind. That is, everyone, except for you, who had declined Wild’s offered cloak and seemed completely unbothered by the fact that you were on top of a mountain in nothing but shorts and a T-shirt. When asked, you merely commented that the wind was a bit brisk, but not too bad.

 Then there was the incident with the Wizzrobe. Legend had reluctantly agreed to give you and Wind a tour of one of the dungeons he had cleared during his adventure. Unfortunately, whatever dark entity that seemed to be toying with the group had uncleared the dungeon. Legend saw the magic hit you square in the chest. He expected to see you at least stumble backwards from the blast, but you didn’t. You didn’t even flinch. You just looked down at where you had been hit, then back up at the Wizzrobe.

“Umm… Was that supposed to hurt?” you asked. The Wizzrobe responded by teleporting away, never to be seen again.

The final nail in the coffin was when you, Time, and Warriors had been cornered by a Lynel. The rest of the group was off exploring, so you couldn’t wait for backup. Before Time could even try to formulate an attack plan, you had up picked up both him and the captain, tossing them over your shoulders as you sprinted away.

“HOW ARE YOU LIFTING US? WE’RE WEARING ARMOR FOR HYLIA’S SAKE!” Warriors yelled, a bit indignant at being carried like a sack of potatoes.

“Do we even weigh anything to you?” Time pondered, resigned to his fate.

“Nah,” you grinned, still running, “It’s like holding a bunch of grapes.”

[luimagines]

IM CRYING ITS ORCS???? IM SO EMBARRASSED. but no the amount you put was exactly what i wanted!!! i would love to hear more thoughts you have on it if youre willing to share/if you have anymore!! i like hearing other lu tumblrs thoughts on this

-the og person who asked about the space orcs/guide reader thing

I just remembered one other thing that we talked about!

Humans would also have more stamina than Hylians. I don't remember the reasoning why.

But if Hylians would technically move faster and be physically stronger, humans just... wouldn't stop. XD

You know- like pursuit predators.

So Reader wouldn't really understand the constant need for breaks and would get a little annoyed by the little progress they're making because they don't feel tired. Whereas the group is confused annoyed that Reader wants to keep going when they're tired.

There one snippet I thought of where Sky wasn't sure what to think about Reader being a humans because he literally has no history with them. They both get separated from the group and Sky gets injured.

Undeterred, Reader picks up Sky, holds him to their back and carries him all the way back until they could reunite with the group. Naturally, Sky, the canonically stamina challenged individual, is impressed beyond measure. He scolds the others in the group who don't think Reader is capable of handling themselves and his opinion is changed for the better for the rest of the journey.

I feel like there was more there but I don't remember it. XD

[aikoiya]

Oh, now that's just awful... I imagine that Rauru thought of him as a dear friend.

Waaaiiit... What if, in an alternate timeline, Rinkū was, like, the Sage of Twilight or the Moon or something? And he was bestowed a Stone which gave him the ability to become a wolf whenever much like Twilight, but to also take on a more traditional werewolf form?

Though, for the co-dependence thing. To be fair, humans will literally pack bond with a rock given half a chance, so that part actually isn't all that surprising. (Seriously, I love the Earthlings are Space Orcs/Space Australians/Deathworlders tag, it's so funny!)

You know... What if part of how the Wolfbred communicate is via body language & ear position like actual wolves do? And I bet that being Wolfbred, their ears are a lot more expressive than most Hylians. Like that one LU comic with Twilight & Legend.

But, ugh! Just the idea of keeping another human being as a literal pet in every since of the word... *full-body shudder* No. Like, I don't care about the thought process at the time. They only have a couple of outward differences from other Hylians & can obviously learn to talk & interact & socialize like any other Hylian. So, my brain tells me, they're Hylian. Equal.

Like, that's another thing too. Did these people specifically go out of their ways to stop the Wolfbred from being able to communicate like other Hylians? Did they specifically breed the Wolfbred in a way that would make them "incapable" of Hylian speech?? And why??

Because I very much doubt that Twilight or his kids naturally lost the ability to speak Hylian.

Like, that's next level evil, dude.

Also, color me interested. And I'm actually also very interested in these possible Wolfbred/Zonai hybrids. Though, I think it'd be interesting if a few had managed to leave Hyrule altogether & found a new race. Perhaps before the rest of the Zonai were wiped out, a few of the Zonai researchers were horrified by the way the Wolfbred were treated & escaped with them. After all, Hyrule isn't the only place of Hyrule's Earth.

You very much can indeed! Enjoy yourself!

I thought too hard about my Werewolf Link lore and all the genetic modification that the Sheikah/Yiga did to make that man, like all the genetic mapping and sequencing and splicing that had to have been happening to make such a large scale project work

Under the cut for people who don't want the transcript of my crisis

Like they probably had the entire genome/genotype, the entire genetic makeup down to every last mutation, of each of Link's ancestors. Talk about identifying information!

They had to have had a list of what genes and traits and mutations were considered Wolfbred or not because obviously Twilight was Hylian and his children are all Hylian so if we're going to classify them as something Other Than Hylian we need to know exactly what makes them Not Hylian.

Like if Purah could access those files and records from 10,000 years ago she could probably recreate a very likely genotype for Link without ever taking a sample from him because the reason he's considered 'pedigreed' is because all this man's ancestors were registered into this system and so even with having no idea who married who after getting exiled, you still know almost exactly what makes up Link, sparing spontaneous mutations that occurred post exile.

Yeah, so, I sent myself into a philosophical/moral crisis

[hylianengineer]

You know Stabby the space roomba? Well, what if there were baby Stabbys with tiny needles instead of knives? They could go around stabbing people in the toes.

[ganymedesclock]

As someone who’s a big fan of speculative biology and thinking about aliens and the ways aliens might not be the same as humans, I admittedly get kinda tired of the “humans are space orcs” branch of thinking.

Because the way I see it, “humans as space orcs” is really... basically the same thing as what it’s ostensibly trying to rebel against: the notion of humans as boring everymen.

They’re the same in that both presume that “human” is the unit of measurement we should judge all hypothetical other sapient beings by.

Either humans are the default and everything else is some advancement on that default, or humans are the default and everything else is weaker, stupider, less interesting, less colorful or bizarre than that default.

Neither actually challenges the idea that we’re not the default.

And frankly, even works that ostensibly present humans or the human-stand-in as boring everymen still favor them heavily. Consider Legend of Zelda: sure, you might argue the Hylians aren’t cool because they’re not amphibious like the zora or nearly indestructible like the gorons, they don’t fly like the rito, they’re not forest spirits like the kokiri, they’re not seven feet tall like the gerudo.

However, without fail, the majority of the NPCs you will encounter in any particular game are hylian. In Wind Waker, all non-hylians are either civil servants to hylians (Rito), actively hiding their appearance (the goron travelling merchants), or hiding altogether (the koroks and great fairies). And that’s not counting the various sapient races that are considered fair game for murder, such as the blins.

No matter how “boring and everyman” you might think the hylians are, they still entertain a position of cultural dominance. They’re the standard by which all of the others are measured and that implies they are incredibly powerful.

Sure, you might say, but not all stories do that?

Okay. How many fantasy and scifi stories do you have where an elven object will always be identified as elven, but something of human make is seldom labeled that way?

The thing about humans-as-everyman that holds back perfectly good worldbuilding isn’t that it presumes humans are boring, so the way to challenge it isn’t to depict humans as the most special and interesting people of the universe. (Especially when it uses what feel like autistic stereotypes to mock the hypothetical aliens for not understanding us)

The problem with humans-as-everyman is we are not the meterstick by which to judge the possible universe. There is no reason aliens or fantasy folk should be beholden to human standards. Especially if we’re not the oldest sapient race out there, especially if there are those who came before us and thus are far more entrenched, then they should be allowed to hold the position of cultural privilege they would logically have.

And, yes- you can play with the idea that humans are good at things elves might not be. I’ve said it before, my personal favorite ideas are easier acclimatization to new environments and modestly faster healing rate.

But that needs to come in a framework that in a setting with many different people, one group does not have proprietary ownership of normalcy. One specific group of people is not allowed to be the default.

[blue-scorpion-king]

The Bagklock Races

(Post version for mobile followers)

The 52+ most populous species of Bagklock Earth: Humans, Hutui/Hutus [Eretus descendants], Hubits [Hobbits descendants], Huliaths [Goliaths descandents], Huthals [Neanderthal descendants], Chimans [Ancient chimpanzees descendants], Gorimans [Ancient gorilla descendants], Orangumans [Ancient orangutan descendants], Près des Hommes Extensibles [Stretchy and rubber-like near-humans], Faunus, Therians, who are humanoids with some animal parts; The Kemono race (http://blue-scorpion-king.tumblr.com/kemono-detail), Monster Personas, with categories on the different Monster Personas, excluding some ones, who became their own race not in an category, like the different youkai, the Centaur, the Manticore, the Minotaur, and the Thunderbird Monster Personas (Think of Monster Girls, expect with male individuals of each monster ‘species’), the three types of Anthros, the Kim kind, who is like the most humanoid, the ‘inbetween’ Deviant kind, and the Zoo-Bipedial type, which are basically evolved bipedal animals, but not much is changed, yet are connected as one race [No Pokemon, Digimon, Bakugan, or any of that sort of Anthros exist], Stuck-Trolls, Orcs [Warcraft], Orks [Partially different biology in the Bagklock Universe], Torks [Tolkien kind of orcs] [All three have sub-species], Elves [With the main species calling themselves ‘Eldar’ {Warhammer}; Nifel-Elves {Tolkien}, Night Elves, Blood Elves, Dark Eldar/Drow Eldar, Half-Elves, Sun (High) Elves, Silver Elves, Wood Elves, Avariel (Winged) Elves, Mithral Elves, Green/Greenish Elves, Aqua Elves, Dwemer (Dwarf-like) Elves, Orsimer (Orc-like) Elves, and Snow Elves], Dwarves, Gnomes, Goblins, Draenei, Undead, Taurens, Warca-Trolls, Pandarens, Ghouls [From Tokyo Ghoul], Nitros [From Toriko], Eosapiens, Pivots, Inklings, Octolings, Worgen, Vampires, Holves [Jak-verse], Draguns [Humanoid Dragons], Gr-Na'vi [Green Earthling Na'vis], Fishmen, Merfolk, the Atlanteans, Thri-Kreens, Tarkatans, Yoshis, Giants, the Shandorians, Birkans, the Skypieans, Sangheilis, Zabraks, Twi'leks, Wookiees, Mon Calamaris, Ewoks, who are also said to inhabit much of the planetoids and moons of Bagklock Earth, tracing their species’ origin to the ‘Goat-Moon’, Gungans, Dugs, Chagrians, Kaminoans, Genosians, Togrutas, Nautolans, Utapauns, Pyronites, Vulpimancers, Petrosapiens, Kinecelerans, Galvans, Tetramands, Lepidopterrans, Piscciss Volanns, Arburian Pelaroti, Florauni, Loboans, which originate from the ‘Goat-Moon’, Thep Khufans, Transylians, Gourmands, Slipxsons, Opticoids, Spheroids, Methanosians, Sonorosians, Vaxasaurians, Aerophibians, Necrofriggians, Crystalsapiens, Cerebrocrustaceans, Arachnichimps, Biosovortians, Appoplexians, Orishans, Amperis, Talpaedans, Geochelone Aerios, Prypiatosian-Bs, Citrakayahs, Gimlinopithecus, Eatles, Chronosapiens, Conductoids, Segmentasapiens, Galileans, Crashhoppers, Polar Manzardills, Mole-Staches, Kickin’ Hawks, Nosedeenians, Vladats, Fangines, Canigus [Both from Oddworld], Togorians, Bipamammals, who are an invasive immigrants from the 1960’s, 72 years after the Martian invasion of England, but in the U.S.A and ultimately, after six months, got defeated and have to left their traitor prisoners behind, Saurians, Poleepkwa/Prawn, Locusts [Gears of War], Yuzzems, Sullustan, Trandoshan, Matora (Bionicle [Not movie version] species), R'Zahnians, Kluts, Ssi-Ruuk, Whiphids, Rodians, Toydorians, Gamorreans, Ithorians, Bothans, Kaleesh, [Eight sentient and sefl-aware] Rancors, Acklays, Nexus, Reeks, Opees, Wampas, Metriadleys (Ripley’s species, from Metroid), Andorians, Horaxes, the Chirmaerea [Traitor Chimeras of the ‘horde’, from the ‘Resistance’], Cybertronians, that came from the mechanic planetoid of Bagklock Earth several billions of years ago, Cybertron [The smaller Beast Wars kind, without the large vehicle alternate modes, and most small vehicle alt. modes, not just 2 factions, but with “Titan Bots”, “Combiners”, “Mini-Cons”, and some other sub-groups, even with the sub-sub-group of the Fuzors; They are still connected to the spirituality of their ancestors’ culture back in Cybertron, like the Matrix and Primus, and can ‘evolve’ further by adding more ‘bulk’/parts either the Real Robot way {Like Gundam: Thunderbolt or some parts of Evangelion} or the Super Robot way {like GaoGaiGar or Gaiking},, into Transmetals, to Transmetal 2, and even Transmetal 3. Though, there are only 20 Transmetal 3 Cybertronians EVER in the race’s history {Also, this comic and the comments below it clears up Cybertronian intercourse} Also also, the general term for the transformation of Cybertronians, even among factions, split since the 3rd Great Cybertronian War and 4th Great Cybertronian War so long ago {Both G1 and Beast Wars/Machines, expect with no terraforming Cybertron, with the time shenanigans}, is “Rollaize”, which “Rollaizing” being before the faction’s own transformation phrase like ‘Primaize’, ‘Maximize’, ‘Demolitionize’, ‘Wreckaize’, ‘Terrorize’, “Titanize’, ‘Pygmyize’, or ‘Armadize’], Boomop-Boomops [The Boom Booms and Pom Poms from Mario], Ferengi, Kenku (DN’D), Elcors, Marts, who claim to be descendants of Martians from Mars, that are not like the Martians that tried to invade Earth in very late 1800’s (Looney Tunes/Duck Dodgers In The 24th & ½ Century), Orions, Mazones (Harlock; With an history of being left by ‘something’ in their extremely early history), Ctarl-Ctarls, Lyca-morphs, who are a moth-like race, Modrons, Zoqs, Fots, Piks, [sentient griffiths] Criffiths, Xextos, Iyras, Baabians, Killiks, Labois, P'we'cks, Xi'Decs, Niktos, Mossies, Seksis, Gelflings, Mogwais, the Smurfs, the Snorks, the Muppets, including the entire Sesame Street, Qberts, Lombaxes, Pacs [The species of Pac-Man], Gorns, Asaris, Turians, Volus, Krogans, Quarians, Yahgs, Drells, Exos, Cabals, Eliksni, Asogians, who are all immigrant races from 1970, Apostles, who are descendants of the ones from the medieval times, starting at Midland {Berserk}, Herglics, Majins, Kousou-Akuryo, meaning ‘Frost Demons’ [Descendants of Frieza’s Race from long ago], Yordles, Gorons, Hylians, Zoras, Dekus, Gerudos, Au Ra, Bangaa, Elezen, Mithras, Tarutarus, Moogles, Vestals, Neathians, Gundalins, the Viera, Candy People, [less hostile] Earth-Daleks, along with Earth-Cybermen, Flame People, Ooo-Dogs, Rainicorns, Lemon People, Lumpy Space People, Nut People, Tree People, Exceeds, and [Immigrant descendants] Klingons, Chiss, Anzati, Quarrens, Balosars, Nosaurians, Devaronians, the Fosh, Iktotchi, Horusians, Huks [A race extremely similar to the Hulk/Bruce Banner, expect not created by gamma radiation], Florans, Apex, Avivans, Hylotl, Novakids, Vipers [X-Com-like], Garmillas, Xens [Near-human Gijinka-like Xenomorphs], Centurians, Centurii, Krylorians, Kt'kns, Kymellians, Landlaks, Nibelungs [Harlock], ‘White Walkers’, Taurians, Xixix, Stenth, Lava-Min {Marvel’s Lava Men}, Glx, Kawas, Z'Nox, Zundamites, Thranx, {D&D} Garrgoyyles, Charr, Saiyans, from one groups of crashed pods during the Ice Age [There are more females Saiyans than males on Bagklock Earth], Hyleks, Quaggans, Norn, Slyvari, Djinn, Myconids, Weav-Spiders, Kobolds, Elins, Accretians, Omnics, Anodites, Incurseans, Stits (Tummyhead’s species), Nemuinas, Falleens, Miralukas, Nagaii, Rakatas, Talz, Ishi Tibs, Decapodians [Zoidberg’s race], Detrovites, Trumbipuai (Humanoid elephants with bat wing-like ears), Thundragohs (Humanoid warthogs), Planchakoles, Cephalod-ae, Basalts, Ickthyperambuloids, Zaroffians, Gelamen [Gang Beasts-like], Argonians, Khajiits, the Skaven, the Ratonaga, and the soon-to-be merging Newtypes & Coordinators in the future. {2 not registered races; Which only has three billion sightings total, but no solid proof of their existence, from the 1900’s to 2042, are the so called ‘Mudokons’, and the Henries of Earthland}. Plus, ‘Minions’, of different colors, like the Pikmin, are a part of the races that live on Bagklock Earth, but choose not to be registered in the documented races, that are most populous. 44+ minor races, that are registered, are the Olympians, Steefs, the four human subspecies; Ogryns, Ratlings, Squats, & Beastmen, the Lemurians, earthling Chozos, Shokans, Gnolls, the Blueys, [Earthling Grey Aliens descendants, supposedly, expect dark blue in skin color and about 6 to 7 feet tall, on average], the Kongou, the Yodalili [Yoda’s Species], Earthling Sligs (Oddworld), the Gour-Ogres [Gourmet Ogres], the Goombas, the Kerbals, the Yautjae, who are immigrants from very long ago, the Hirogens, and the Namekians, who are also immigrants from long, long ago, Minks (Not Zou-born), Trills, [Runaway] Geems, [A bit smaller] Yithians, Chevins, Crites, Zeti, Toads [Mario] {Are a race who has multiple genders, like funguses}, Thunderians, Zanburgs, Twilis, Aegyls, Beastmen, & their tribes [Final Fantasy], Burmecians, Cleyrans, Clavats, Selkies, Yukes, Lillties, Dragoniers, Galkas, Garifs, Genomes, Hummingways, Hypello, Lalafells, Nu Mou, Peruperu, Qu, Roegadyn, Seeq, Shumi, Zilarts, Breakfast People, Cloud People, Crystal People, Cube People, Cuties, Earclopses, Grass People, Hot People, House People, Mushroom People, MOs, Peanut People, Pillow People, Rock People, Rump People, Sand People, Slime Princess, Soft People, Spiky People, Turtle People, Veggie People, Wildberry People, Worm People, E-Vulcans [from Earthland], Kyuzos, Aqualish, Draethos, Gotals, Harchs, Noghris, Nelvaanians, Vulptereens, Stenax, Sluissi, Junkers, ZeHethbras, Critokians, Squalrises, Adarians, Lutrillians, Niktos, Ryns, Glymphids, Keroidens, Roclites, Yirbeks, Yrds, Kineticlops [A race that are a giant organic sphere, with a eye pupil, and electricity that lifts them up on two legs and with two arms], Atsts [Organic sentient versions of the AT-STs], Xwaings [Organic sentient versions of the X-Wings], Tivdes [Organic sentient versions of the TIE Fighters], Atats [Organic, giraffe-size sentient versions of the AT-ATs], Agamo [A 15 foot tall rock golem-like race from both Central America and the South Pacific, with eons of evolution behind them], Magmo [A 15 foot tall, four-armed rock golem-like race, evolved from various volcanoes’ magma chambers at the beginning of their existence, during the vague-known ‘Deep-Time Missing Period’, in the range of 100 billions and 4 billions, at the creation of Bagklock Earth, that even they can hardly remember], Vuvrians, Nekghouls, Skritts, Margonites, Mursaats, Grawls, Streearks, Marmice, Batttoads, X-Mutants, Metahumans, Kelari, Talarians, Feeorins, Khils, Massassi, Houks, Selkaths, Snivvians, Shistavanens, Swoke-Swokes, Kian'thar, Farghuls, Cathars, Arconas, Defels, Chadra Fans, Skakoans, Talortai, Selonians, Colicoids, Cragmoloids, & Codru-Ji. The Diclonius and the Ajins are an emerging, but not registered within populations, race ever since 2005.

=+Most of the races on Bagklock Earth evolved on the planet, alongside humans.

+-The ‘almost’ extinct Vegeta-Saiyans are on the other side of the planet, but in the single digits and are very certain individuals, who do not know of the Bagklock!Saiyans.

+-Like in Disney movies, there are in fact talking animals as well, but only to themselves.

All of the races’ blood are a few colors: Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange, or Black. But, not red, like the Bagklock water. Black, blue, pink, and orange are the four most common blood colors.

Every race on Bagklock Earth, unlike real life Earth, would feel, and resist, that normal 111.8 degree temperature of an mortal Olympian like you would feel someone’s very high fever, expect it is normal.

~The Bat~

[cosymelody]

Okay but you know what's better than Hylian space orc!Reader? Hylian space orc!Dom! Reader

Not only is there little content on Dom readers, If not (for what the chain is) I think that someone with a cold mind and who thinks about all the options and possibilities is more suitable to manage the chain, Of course the chain's bodies, mind, soul and heart already belong to Reader, but we already know what happens to the chain if they become too greedy, territorial, protective and more....So someone needs to teach them discipline, control and good behavior (it's like training dogs) (well with Twilight it may be very literal-)

So, yes, someone who analyzes the situation, the benefits and drawbacks, and learns to monopolize control (perhaps with a little manipulation involved) is more suitable, and very, very mentally strong.

YESSSSS THIS IS THE SHIT I LIVE FOR

Personally, this is my absolute FAVORITE kind of Reader so when I find even a crumb of content on it I absolutely DEVOUR it!

(Gn! Reader implied 👍)

Hylian Space Orc!Dom! Reader (aka HSO!Dom! Reader as I shall call it for now) is exactly how I imagine the reader when I write! Definitely not projecting myself into my own writing in a way hahaaa

HSO!Dom! Reader is definitely something I strive for in my writings since in many cases it can help to balance out the yandere tendencies of the Chain. Even more so when Reader can be an absolute sweetheart when the Chain behave, but can do a whole 360 and turn into a sadistic/scolding parent that puts the boys in there place, which for most of them would urge them to be good for their god/goddess just for a hint of praise and affection they desperately crave for.

Reader knows exactly what makes the boys tick and what causes their possessive urges to rise and has taken action to catch and calm them before they can even think about chasing killing off whoever it was that dared to take Reader's attention away from them. It's gotten to the point where Reader can so much as sense a slight hint of jealousy and diffuse the situation before it even occurs.

Don't get me wrong, Reader is happy to have the group of heroes so obsessed with them definitely not because they are just as obsessed if not more so than the Chain, but they aren't too fond of the fact that every shopkeeper and traveler they encounter seem to be scared off by the Chain due to the way the boys seem to glare daggers into the stranger that has Reader's attention. With the way they think and with how they seem to be much stronger than the boys due to the Chain having a different biological body structure, Reader can easily stop any fights between the Chain or with random people they encounter just by holding one of the Links to their chest or just throwing one or more of the boys over their shoulder. It especially helps with the more antsy and aggressive Links (Four, Twilight, Wild, Courage, Sage, etc.).

When one of them start acting just a slight bit passive-aggressive or start to become more possessive and violent, all it takes is one glare from Reader for them to know they are acting out of line and they should stop before they lose their beloved. Sometimes it doesn't work on a few of the boys, especially when they're insistent and stubborn on what they think is right, but they start to quickly learn and correlate good behavior with positive attention and praise from their angel.

The ones who would most likely be first to associate your positive attention with good behavior would most likely be Hyrule, First, Koridai, Warriors, and Time possibly a few more to name a few. They quickly get their act together and show a good side to Reader just to hear they're honeyed and addictive words that are definitely not laced with a tad bit of manipulation to pull the strings of their dear Chain, but even then, Reader can tell when they've went and offed someone behind their back which only results in a cold shoulder and them learning to progressively lower the bodies they have to hide and instead focus on behaving well for them.

When they do start to get better, they start getting more and more rewards from Reader which can be anywhere from more time together, more physical affection, more words of encouragement and love, and so much more which feeds into them being good and obedient for their Reader. It's like slowly taming a group of feral beasts, teaching them that if they do good in Reader's eyes, they get positive reinforcement and get to have more of their beloved to themselves.

With HSO!Dom! Reader, it's obvious they are stronger than the Links in more ways than one (physically, mentally, emotionally) and are more than capable of putting them in their place in order to calm their desire that burns within them so brightly. I definitely need to start putting this aspect into more of my writing in the future even though I already have in most of them!

If anyone would like to add on to this little idea, I'd LOVE to see what people think of this aspect not me writing this in the middle of the night when I've got work early in the morning! I also need to stop forgetting that I exist and I should probably keep doing this cuz I forget about all the WIPs I have ಠ_ಠ

[wayfayrr]

"Wait no you're not supposed to get hurt."

First of the 400 follower raffle winners!!! took a little longer to write than planned but it's here! This is for @the-moon-files and it's masc!human!reader with the chain, it doesn't touch on all of the hcs I have for humans/hylians but it's made very clear that there is a difference :3c

[masterlist]

“Um, [name]? Are you sure you don’t need a potion, that gash you got on your leg seems like it’ll get infected if you don’t use a potion or anything other than bandages.”

“Thanks for the concern sky but-”

“Yes, I know most potions don’t work for us. It’s why luv and bertie spent so long perfecting recipes that have any positive effect.”

Us? US? After months of traveling with the chain, having to explain new differences between me and them sky decides to drop a bomb like this???? Is he messing with me or something? My face must have said exactly what I’m thinking considering he pulled back with a nervous giggle. 

“I forgot to mention it, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah you did. It would have been very nice to know I’m not the only human here earlier.”

“Sorry, I was so happy not being the only one anymore that I forgot… to actually tell you. But really can’t this whole thing wait until we’ve dealt with your injury?”

That’s fair, I’m still a tad bitter over it but I can understand. He’s got a look of guilt and concern on his own face now, his hands twitching and half reaching for the gash on my leg before pulling back reluctantly. Begging for my permission to help with puppy dog eyes glancing back and forth simply begging for approval. Hopefully he hasn't noticed that it's a bit worse than just a gash.

“If you’re sure that it won’t just be a waste of supplies then go ahead I guess.”

“I’m certain it’ll help you, not as much as it would the traveller or the champion but it’ll help.”

The potion feels strange in the wound as he goes about applying it, it’s almost similar to antiseptic but with less of a sting. Not anything like what I thought with how the other links down them like it’s honey or something, maybe they just taste a lot better than they feel. Maybe they’re just different for humans. No way to really tell. Before long he’s finished with that though, moving on to simply bandaging it. 

“Skyyyyyyyy you’ve been over here hogging his attention for ages when are y- oh I…”

It seems wind didn’t notice the reason sky’s been ‘hogging’ me then, does that mean that sky was just watching me in the battle. Probably just cause he’s enamored by not being the only human now, nothing to look into beyond that. I’m overthinking it. 

“[name]? When did - Twi said humans are invincible, how did you - how did they - You’re alright right?”

“I’m alright kiddo, sky’s just been helping me with some of his own potions.”

“Wait twi’s been saying what?”

Seems Sky’s just as shocked as I am, he wouldn’t have said anything otherwise, so this isn’t commonly known. Or true but that’s another thing. Was it his attempt at getting wind to not be so wound up that most potions and magic is about as effective on me as carrying water in a sieve. But that just means that if something were to happen, like maybe y’know - right now, he’s going to get more messed up than otherwise. Twilight wouldn’t do that, he’s a bit dense sometimes but he loves the sailor like a brother. Does that mean this is just something he believes himself? He grew up in ordon it’s not impossible.

“Wind please when did Twilight say that?”

“He said it when we found out [name] is a human, why are you so bothered by what twi is saying about him?” 

“I think sky is just worried about any rumours going around, no need to snap at him for it.”

“Yeah, just worried about rumours, yeah.”

“Well if anyone should be worried about those ‘rumours’ it should be ME - what if… what if you got hurt worse… we wouldn’t be able to - we wouldn’t know… even if we were to use a potion it'd just blend in with your blood and we could miss places...”

The exact reason why twilight shouldn’t have told wind this is happening right now, and I don’t know how to comfort him. He’s crying and stressed over me getting hurt despite sky-treating it, despite me being fine. It’s not like it’s just wind upset either, I don’t think I’ve seen sky so stressed in all the time I’ve known him. It’s almost like he’s been caught in a lie, wait now that I think about it his ears look hylian, has he not told the chain either? Too many questions and not enough time or words to get all the answers. And he knows I want them.

“I- I’m going to tell wild that he’ll need to make some more potions. I’ll send twi over as well if he’s not busy with anything else. Your leg should be fine now, just don’t move too quick or take the bandages off unless it’s to replace them with clean ones.”

And now sky’s gone, leaving me with an overwhelmed wind. Who looks honestly more confused over Sky leaving the way he did than upset over me being hurt, which is somewhat of an improvement I guess? It’s better than having him stressed out over a little gash. 

“Was it just me or was sky-”

“Really nervous? I’m sure he’s got a reason to be kiddo, who knows maybe he’s just anxious over me getting infected.”

“INFECTED!?”

Oh, I should not have said that, it’s like wind didn’t even consider that that could possibly happen. And now I’ve sparked his worry all over again. 

“hey I didn't mean to -”

“If you can get infected we've gotta be extra careful and and - [name] we've gotta tell time before he pushes you way too hard and something else happens.”

“Nothing else is gonna happen, I'm fine I promise you that.”

How long is he going to be pouting over me getting injured, it’s not a big deal, I’m not going to die or anything. 

"What're you two doin' that's causin' Sky to act up like some cuccos durin’ a lightnin' storm?"

“IT’S CAUSE [NAME] GOT INJURED, HIS LEG GOT CUT.”

His ears drooped faster than wolfies tail would start to wag if you offered him some pets. Which proves the fact that twilight wasn’t telling wind a lie to make him concerned for no reason, he genuinely thought that humans couldn’t be hurt. I - don’t really know what to think now, I mean it is good that it wasn’t him lying intentionally but how long has he lived with humans, how long has he had to learn that this isn’t true??? He’s what 24? Has Rusl or no one else gotten hurt in any of those twenty-four years? 

“Ya - ya got hurt ‘nd didn’t tell?”

“Well sky was helping me and then-”

“Neither of ya thought ta tell? Y’ain’t think I shoulda known?”

Is - is he going to start crying? I knew twi was pretty soft-hearted but to start crying over me not thinking to tell him about just a small little cut into my leg? Why’s he so personally offended that he wasn’t told any sooner, does he really care so much about someone he’s only met recently? 

“I mean, I thought that’s what sky was going over to you for?”

“I well yeah, yer right, that’s part of why he did.”

“Hey are we missing the point!? [Name] got HURT when you said humans were near invincible!”

“That really isn’t the important thing right now wind, I think twi only said that so you wouldn’t worry about me. Right?”

Go along with it, see on my face that I’m trying to get you to go along with this so that wind doesn’t get more stressed and just go along with it. Please. If he doesn’t then I will never be able to move on from this, and I don’t think that anyone would appreciate being lectured for something that you genuinely have no control over. 

“Right?”

“Ah righ’, wind you know I were only sayin’ that so you wouldn’t worry, yeah?”

“Oh sure you say that now, but before it was all ‘Humans were blessed to be invincible by the spirit ordona because of the goddess hylia’s hatred of them.”

“Aigh’, and I was tellin ya that so you won’t worry.” 

Well wind clearly doesn’t believe him, he doesn’t sound certain of himself either to be honest. But the sailor seems to be done stressing over it now, ran himself out of energy it seems. Nuzzling into my side with a pout. 

“Come on kiddo, it’s not worth a grudge with one of your big bros.”

No response, But a very disappointed twi now. Offended from me not apparently telling him fast enough or whatever, which just feels like a weird reason more than anything. Besides even that it’s not like he’s known me long, he really shouldn’t be as bothered as he is. 

“Wind please, I don’t think it’ll do me any good staying on the floor like this either.”

“...f’ne.”

Hinting at something worse happening did just the trick as I hoped and got him up onto his feet, while giving me the silent treatment as twi helps me to my feet. Just gotta hope that the break won’t get any worse now that I'm standing. Or noticed. I’m already lucky enough that sky didn’t pick up on it, because I know that the second anyone learns it’s going to pull us all to a halt. Hell for all I know he’s hiding that he saw it to go tattle on me to time, never would have known that he could lie so well so I can only hope he won't use it like this. But what do I know, he could do anything just to get some extra sleep in.

[the-moon-files]

YESSSSS I BEG GET INTO THE CULTURAL DIDFERENCES BETWEEN HYLIANS AND HUMANS 🙏🙏

...now ur just sweet talking me 🥰 /lh

Not years, well maybe 1 year-

but i have wanted to ramble desperately to smone, even the tumblr void if i had to, abt humans vs. hylians so much, esp with a guide reader or male reader bc whatdya know im into niche stuff that only u and like 2 other ppl like lmao ¯\(ツ)/¯

Anyway im so shocked, since ur like the third person to be interested in this and wanna hear abt it 🥺 🤲💌 here u go!! Hope u like it <333 👉👈

Sun: Masc!Reader (he/him)

Orbit: Humans are Not Hylians/Humans are Space Orcs AU, Headcanons-ish, long overall but each section is kinda short

Stars: Mostly worldbuilding! you've been warned, don't get mad me for not talking abt the boys too much✌️

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cursing, mentions of private area/joke in the clothing headcanons, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

just some quick headcanons bc tbh i haven't given it too much thought, and i feel like I've been able to somewhat get into it in other posts? or maybe im thinking of stuff i have in my drafts idk-

Imma make another list, so buckle up for the short ride lol

Courting periods/dating/marriage

individual/small groups society-based hylians v. large personal groups/large community society-based humans

simpler foods hylians v. complex food humans

clothing modesty/style/relationships with fashion

fighting styles/strategies

entertainment complexity/differences

and language

☆

1st one, not much yet, im also making a separate post bc someone else asked me to talk abt that more 🥺

(tysm for all the enthusiastic asks guys <33)

anyway, basically hylian courting is a lot shorter, think “lesbians with the uhaul” type of energy, like sort of the classical medieval “does thee wish to pursue marriage with this one?” ← how hylians ask u out for the first time lmao

if it helps, they do tend to get to know one another well, talking about morals/kids/life goals/preferred lifestyle/house/etc. pretty clearly and quickly, then using the in between time to sort of stew on that information

id say the total time is sort of something like 6 months? maybe 3/4 if they're really compatible

(so bc i love interpreting video game logic for real world building, I actually blame this on how fast Zelda/link get together in games despite having sometimes never met before that moment lol)

like i said, ill be posting about this later

2nd one!!

pretty basic, just saying we don't really see hylians in big groups, despite the organizations they form, like kingdoms/knights or on a more personal level, towns/families/etc.

(once again, in-game appearances/video game logic translated to real life to draw these conclusions)

like not only are family units pretty small, like nuclear family setup, with like 2 parents and 2 kids, or single parent 1 kid type of situation, but the towns or collections of these families arent very big either

hylians kind of use their government the way it was intended lmao?

like the villages and towns matter more for everyday decisions than the kingdom/royalty, like Zelda would esstientally just be the mayor of Castle Town for those constant decisions,

while occasionally is called on to make decisions like for several towns or like is a natural disaster happens

meanwhile humans are, in comparison, in Way Bigger groups, both on an organization scale, and a personal scale

like u have all these specific branches of government, whereas im sure the population difference doesn't help,

and on a personal level, humans can easily have like multiple parents, lots of siblings, and once u combine that with each parent having family too, and those families like to meet up? All together??

yeah, itd look insane to any hylians (who’s smaller extended family may just make up their own village and that's it)

3. I've touched on this

like the use of spices, syrups, seasonings, etc

but also the complexity of dishes too, like chilling cream and mixing it for awhile to make ice cream, or even just getting ordering a pizza,

that's a lot of processing, like making the dough from flour and other ingredients, to letting it rise, to making the tomato paste, making cheese, then combining those things with any other toppings, all into one dish??

i like to think that hylians have only just started to touch on actual complicated cooking processes (as in BOTW, where they sell flour and salt, so people besides Link/Wild must know what to do with it)

this has the advantage of impressing any hylian with what a “creative genius” you are lol

4. look im just a fan of medieval time periods Links

so i think its funny if the hylians are used to like 4/3 layers and ur over here like, “wym, if i take off my shirt there's nothing underneath?”

one of them gets bold enough to ask, “d-do you not. do you not have undergarments??”

you “just my boxers? like just to cover my di-”

also this makes its easy to seduce people here? LMAO

clothes are def higher quality, after all there's not as many artificial processes or materials interfering,

plus u usually get some sick embroidery on it too!!

5. so like i get it, Link is the main fighter in games

but like, the few times there is a war/army in loz games, there's rlly not a lot of strategy, beyond just finding the enemy and fighting

tho im partial to that hylians/most inhabitants of Hyrule abide by the “lets meet up either literally by inviting each other or just between our territories to fight”

with occasional guerilla warfare (by any means necessary/stealth/ambush attacks/strategy) that's only rlly used either by Demise/Ganon, or by the wilder individuals/races in games

or maybe even the more civilized fighters in an emergency

and so that means by this logic that all of the Chain use kind of wild techniques compared to their race/kingdom lmao

id imagine its not too surprising to also see “every fight is a bar fight if its for my life” from individual travelers, so im sure they're not viewed too crazy (esp when ppl know their the hero that constantly has to deal with guerilla warfare from Ganon)

but its be hilarious to watch the reactions of both the Links realizing they’re in a bigger group that should be using “proper” fighting strategies and seeing the general publics reaction to this absolutely feral, armed to the teeth, trained hylians with their equally wild human lol

LMAO everyone thinks ur the reason they started using the more brutal fighting methods bc ur human, ur a bad influence lol

(humans would use it primarily, esp after we converted to use that method in warfare a couple hundred years ago i think?)

changing course a bit, hylians tend to use weapons (to compensate for difference in strength compared to humans, and since they don't experience/get a lesser version of adrenaline)

while humans tend to equally rely on weapons and our body as a weapon (marital arts/basic self-defense)

6. this is mostly bc the hylians only rlly seem to have the basics of music, books/stories, theater, and art

i have, surprise surprise, another post abt how i think this came to be,

mostly based on how human curiosity is indomitable and insatiable and the endless force that has not yet met its immovable object.

or at least an immovable object they haven't at least poked a little, out of curiosity lol

like we went to space for that reason, we reach the most dangerous corners of our planet (deep underwater/volcanoes) out of sheer curiousity/for the sake of simple knowledge of the thing

so needless to say, curiosity can absolutely drive any field to its limits, including the arts, which is why we can have stained glass, or movies/tv shows, hell, the marvel that is Hatsune Miku lmao

(fully for entertainment, a projection of light and sound, what is essentially magical illusions but u did it hte hard way, to the hylians)

on a different entertainment related note, i don't know if the hylians would be super into sports, or not really at all? mostly bc they have to use their fighting/training against real threats, not the sort of “fake” threats that sports are

but on the other hand i could see people like knights wanting to use their abilities for something other than violence and fighting bc their life or their villages lives depended on it

bet the Links would enjoy it for those reasons especially, what with at least sumo wrestling being a sport or activity for them at some point in history, and practically beg u for any new games to play, or to ref their games, bc whewwww

im sure they could get pretty competitive lol

7. obviously, their mostly influenced by the Japanese language

id almost like to imagine a sort of, if not outright Japanese (like with earlier heroes like Sky) then a sort of English-Japanese hybrid further along the line

sort of like how English has German/Greek/Latin roots and therefore u can see what words or structure comes from where, or even how u can understand a fair amount of basic words when other languages share the same roots (english, pants = spanish, pantalones)

would make for some funny miscommunications

or even better, most hylians liking ur unique accent or the Links love to hear u talk bc of it lol

☆

well the fever has broken, i am now free of the sickness that made me hack this up geez

i hope u got some enjoyment out of these my beloved anon!! esp since u were so nice as to ask abt it <33

hope u guys have a great weekend, look out for some more posts, bc its been great to get some more asks in lately and very motivating,

not to mention i actually have time to write now that my siblings graduated/we’ve moved several states over 💀

so i have reliable internet now too! sheesh :’)

Peace out,

🌙

[wayfayrr]

Not a request or anything, but I was reading your post about Humans being Hylian orcs and I was wondering, who do you think in the chain would be able to keep up with a reader that has a high tolerance for alcohol?

most wouldn't even have a chance

I've talked about this with friends a fair bit honestly and we've kinda come up with a scale for hylian alcohol levels which is kinda as follows (these are very rough numbers)

Hylian tolerance / human equivalent

Milk / Beer, cider (low percent alcohol y'know around like 3-5%) Beer, cider / Wine, mead (higher percent about 12-15%) Wine, mead/ Spirits like limoncello and such (anywhere between 25-40%)

spirits aren't drinkable to hylians unless they're heavily diluted, they can't throw back shots like a human can! A long island iced tea would probably have them needing treatment for alcohol poisoning lmao

The only two I can see being able to stomach liquors would be twi (raised around humans) and wild/tears (the shrine did funky things to them) but they'd be on par with a lightweight well and sky with a very specific headcanon I have about him :)

[wayfayrr]

Interested in talkin more about the relation between Hylia’s relationship with humans???

very interested >:3c Because while I have a lot of thoughts about the relationship of humans/hylians I don't think I've really touched on this yet

But essentially I've been thinking that humans (within the universe, so not including reader who was isekai'd) were originally made by the three golden goddesses a fair bit before making the triforce + hylia and leaving hyrule. With the humans even having more knowledge of the golden three and in hylia's eyes didn't worship her enough when the golden three left her in charge of the triforce as it's guard.

Hence she felt that since the golden three had all these people that worshipped them she deserved one of her own - hence the hylians.

they're almost identical to humans in looks with some defining differences, such as their height and their ears because they're supposed to be humans but 'better' in her eyes. they're weaker in ways (tolerances, strength and stamina) because they were made by a weaker goddess in image of these people who she dislikes entirely due to the fact they don't see her as a goddess worthy of their worship.

but for her battle against demise she knew that a hylian wouldn't be able to take on a god like that, sure if they spent their whole life around gods and were trained specifically to kill one they could but they don't have adrenaline or as much force of will as a human even one who is untrained in combat. so she decided that her 'hero' had to be a human, one detached from his own people and raised with hylians and made ashamed of his differences - so that he wouldn't question the goddess he was made to worship when she sent him to fight.

(also note I think sun and sky are really close friends still but damn is she fucked up after the events of sksw having memories of hating humans and then there's sky who she knows is one - that's her FRIEND. Also yeah no romance between them with human sky - the goddess overrides zelda's consciousness if she even tries to get with him :c ) he isn't supposed to survive long after demise is gone anyway

[gliphyartfan]

When I asked for your opinion on Humans Are Hylian Space Orcs I wasn't expecting headcannons of how you think the links would react 😭❤️. I'm not complaining 👀

My headcannon for this au, which I already mentioned to another of my favorite writers, is that the mass and volume in Hyrule is lighter than in our world.

I just thought of that because I think it would be funny if some really huge beast tried to ram the reader to the ground to attack them but they didn't move an inch, and the beast tried again and seeing that nothing happened and that it ended up on the ground from the impact, the beast looks silently at the reader and stays on the ground in an act of submission because giving up might make this abomination take pity on his soul and not tear off his limbs to leave him dying-

and reader would just stay confused like "....what? 🤨"

Ahhh I can just see it now

The heroes holding off a horde of monsters. Reader having just finished off a couple of smaller enemies when a riderless beast (maybe one of those Bullbos from Twilight Princess??) charges at them, its weight rattling the ground.

The beast rears up, clearly expecting Reader to crumble under the impact. But as it collides with them, it finds itself stopped dead in its tracks, like it’s slammed into a stone wall.

Reader doesn’t budge, not even a step (certain startled by suddenly being bumped by this large creature), while the beast’s shock ripples through the air. It backs up, bewildered, and charges again, only to meet the same immovable force.

It’d stumble backwards, probably shaking its head in frustration.

This time, it tries ramming at an angle, hoping to knock Reader off balance, but once again, the creature slams into an invisible wall of resistance, its large weight somehow not enough to even nudge them, maybe jolt them a bit. (But that’s less cause the Bullbo was strong enough to move them them, and more cause Reader just didn’t have proper footing in the unsteady ground.)

Reader would just blink, looking down at where the creature’s hooves had dug into the ground, their expression puzzled.

After a long, silent moment, the beast lets out a low rumble, almost a whine, its huge body sinking to the ground in front of them. It lays its head on the earth as best as it can, looking up at Reader with an almost pleading gaze (which is freaking Twilight out cause he as NEVER seen a Bullbo do that), as if begging for mercy.

Reader would just tilts their head, raising an eyebrow. “…What?”

And then awkwardly pats the suddenly submissive creature.

From across the battlefield, the rest of the Chain would just stare, slack jawed, as Reader awkwardly stands over the monster that seems to be outright submitting to them. Warriors watches, dumbfounded, and Legend mutters, “Did they just… make that thing surrender?”

Twilight chuckles weakly, and probably trying to decide if he should freak out or pull Reader far from the usually aggressive beast, shaking his head in disbelief. “They don’t even realize how terrifying they are, do they?”

Wind, never missing an opportunity, smirks. “Maybe we should start sending them in first.”