#Human Comedy

[aohydrangeas]

entober 2022 - day 23: favorite story

[oh-mistreated-me]

ironically, it was only because of the random side story about Blair, Noah, and Stein, where they have no connections with other characters, that I realized how great a duo Noah and Azu really are - after almost eight years of working through their conflicts and plots.

Azu is extremely empathetic and altruistic, but she's susceptible to outside pressure and can be forced into unwanted compliance; Noah is willful and uncompromising, and Azu doesn't allow (or at least tries to not allow) him to level out the obvious problems that are clearly visible on the horizon, and to overuse (SHE TRIES) his excellent personal qualities without paying due attention to any accompanying responsibility.

I'm very glad that eight years ago I made them a working and friends (as much as it's appropriate given the context of my main story) duo - as in the case of Blair and Marie; they also compensate and complement each other.

[geek-22]

[feeldco]

Don’t hold it in. Spit out your deepest desires on Feeld—a dating app for the curious. In this space, you can show up as yourself and make meaningful connections with people who get you. Meet via the app, or find your people IRL at our events —a place where spitting your truth is highly encouraged. Download Feeld to explore yourself and others.

[knightwriter2]

Jack Frontenac

The following is an excerpt of the first draft of my current WIP, a novel, You’re the One: The True Story of Jack and Jill. I have also self-published three other novels which can be purchased on Amazon and Kindle. My music changes as well. The tune and lyrics go from light and fun and about love to hard and sad and about heartache. Before Duke Edwardson Stole Jill: BEST TIME OF MY LIFE I saw…

[shroomiethefrogwhisperer]

I Am Menstruating, So Here's A Period Thought.

(Yes, it's about aliens again.)

We, as humans, eat a lot of food that other animals can't eat. Chocolate, grapes, avocados, broccoli, alcohol (although I did once have a cat who loved beer), caffeine, almonds, pistachios, macadamia nuts, any spicy food, tomatoes, the list goes on. Dairy products, everyone.

I am currently having period cravings. For hot cheetos, spicy ramen, raspberry-infused dark chocolate, and hot cocoa. Any and all of that would kill a dog.

But, would it kill an alien?

I once saw a thing that said that chocolate is a universally poisonous substance. And sure, I'll stand by that. If you give chocolate to any species except for humans, they will die. Miserably.

BUT! And this is a large but.

HUMANS ARE NOT ALL-POWERFUL, NOR ARE THEY ALL-IMMUNE!

Pokeweed (a little, deadly plant characterized by its red stem and purple berries) is absolutely lethal to us. One tiny berry will kill us. Oleander, a beautiful pink/red/white flower, can kill with any/all of its parts. Nightshade, recognized by its bright red berries, kills in less than 24 hours.

Aliens consider all of these plants to be delicacies.

Zygerin chefs whip up fabulously delicious hemlock soups for their patrons. Ytertjjijkis bakers utilize nightshade, pokeweed, and yew in all of their most famous pastries. Aàkî cooks use Oleander and destroying angel mushrooms in common garden salads.

But yes, chocolate is deadly to them. And the other 99.999% of the universe.

[philosophybits]

A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.

Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or

[dailyflicks]

CHRIS EVANS as JOHNNY STORM/THE HUMAN TORCH in DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE (2024) dir. Shawn Levy

[oh-mistreated-me]

regardless of my age and types and themes of my stories - I have never, literally never managed to fully understand and interpret Blair's character in what happens

despite the presence of certain cause-and-effect bounds and sections in her behaviors and actions that I can explain

this is the only character on whose behalf and about whom as the main character by her own eyes I have practically never written in eight years

and I absolutely do not think that in the next indefinite number of years I will even try

I’m frustrated by the fact that I can’t read Blair’s behaviour.

Or, more precisely, that I can’t read it other than through my own life experiences.

[genericpuff]

I made this comic back in 2020. It is, unfortunately, even more relevant today than it was back then, and it's only been 4 years.

[fourdifferentdogs]

the most important and beautiful thing about never stop blowing up for me is that it’s ultimately a season of a man peacocking for his wife 🥰

[the-most-humble-blog]

"The tag of my shirt touching my neck"

My brain:

😱

[whiskis]

Monster smash (part 2)

A/N: Hi lovelies! Welcome to this new-ish blog, I thought a good way to move was to post part 2 of this story y’all loved so much.

Multiple monsters x fem!reader || sfw, funny situation

You wake up to the sound of voices. Many voices, some grumbly and some other very deep, inhumanly deep. But there’s also clicking sounds, like the ones little forest creatures make when you get too close. You don’t even remember what happened. Did you faint?

“Honey… Are you all right?” A deep voice asks as your eyes flutter open, they feel incredibly heavy. There’s a lady with too many teeth in front of you… She’s scary enough that you close your eyes instantly, breathing hard as you try not to panic. And then the memories come back rushing through your mind.

The monster smash!

The person in front of you with thousands of pointy teeth is… the grocery lady! Shit, shit, shit… What did you get yourself into? Your brain is running so fast you feel almost dizzy, your body threatening to shut up again, but you breathe through your nose until you feel calm enough to re-open your eyes. The lady is not there anymore, but the tech dragon from your building is.

They are staring down at you with slow blinking eyes and a tiny smile, their nostrils flaring as if smelling your emotions. Can they do that? Can dragons smell emotions? Shit, what if they can? What are they able to smell? Can they smell your fear? Shit, could they smell that you didn’t shower for a week back when you had a big project at work? Oh, shit… Now you have to rethink about all the encounters you had with all of them.

“Pull back, you big dragon, let the lad have some space!” Someone else reprimands, pulling the dragon away with a chuckle. You only see a big gray hand but you can’t see who it belongs to, they move too fast to be caught by human eyes. What the fuck?

How can this be possible? How the fuck did you find yourself in that situation? Surrounded by monsters in a speed dating event… For fucks sake what was even your life anymore?

You try to sit up, but your brain is not agreeing with that decision and you fall back. You brace for impact, but you don’t land on the hard floor, but a soft surface that reminds you a lot to somebody’s lap. You look behind you and stare into thin vertical pupils that make your blood run a bit colder. That’s, that’s…

“You are a lizard woman!” You say a bit too loud if the flinch of everyone around you is any indication. But you don’t care, your confusion and hint of fear are rapidly replaced by indignation. You know that face, you know those eyes. You know them very, very well. “We shared tea many times and you didn’t tell me you were a lizard woman!?” Your tone is almost as angry as Bella Swan when she discovered Jacob named her daughter like the lake Ness monster.

Shit, was the lake Ness monster real? Was Twilight based in real events?! You have so many questions your brain can’t stop spinning.

“Darling, I-” Your friend from 4B tries to argue, but you are not having it. You sit up straight and get help from your landlord to get up, the minotaur landlord. The minotaur landlord that has no shirt on and has a very hairy chest you lowkey want to bury your face in. Focus, you remind yourself.

And the realization hits you like a brick.

You live in a monster building.

All your neighbors are monsters.

The one you considered your best friend is a lizard-woman.

What the actual fuck?

A/N: Reminder that you can read all my other stories back in @monstersflashlight (all organized in this masterlist), thanks for reading!

[davidaugust]

Fox Business says the average price of a dozen eggs could be nearly $5 by the end of the year, which would be the highest-ever recorded average price. Turns out surrendering our human rights does not lower the price of breakfast after all.

[lemonduckisnowawake]

You know, it's a tragedy that there are no (or very little) Vampire x Christian stories out there, not for angst or theology or forbidden seductiveness or whatnot but for the sheer comedy of it all. I mean, the Christian would technically be immune to all of the vampire's shenanigans, like for example...

Vampire: Fool, I am the most powerful vampire in the West. Nothing but the force of an entire holy temple could even deign to scratch me Christian: Idiot, I AM a holy temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19, fear me and the Spirit inside that can burn you to ashes

[merakiui]

a plot in which skully's portrait is kept in ramshackle. there's more legend and lore to the king of halloween than there are actual facts. you've always been curious about what kind of person he is and what sort of life he lived before he was traveling the world. there's so little documentation on him. it's a shame you'll likely never know the real story, but that's where fantasy can fill in the blanks! skully looks so devious in his portrait—with that sinister smile and extravagant pose. he's a mystery you've tried to solve with very little luck.

every morning on your way out, you pass his portrait in the hall and say the same farewell: "i'm off, mr. skully! i'll see you later!"

ramshackle dorm is no stranger to haunts. you adore the ghosts. they liven up your quiet, run-down dorm whenever they materialize in front of you for a lighthearted spook. sometimes you can sense them when you walk into a cold spot or you hear phantom sounds late at night. sometimes your face or your hands feel cold, and there's a disembodied smooching sound that follows the drop in temperature. it's all just part of ramshackle's paranormal charm.

on halloween morning, you stand in front of skully's portrait and wish him well. this time, though, you stand up to reach his face and press your lips against the canvas. "have a happy halloween, mr. skully. i'll see you later tonight!"

and then you're off to classes with grim. a pair of orange eyes follows your movements until eventually you're out of sight. the door shuts and then ramshackle is quiet.

when the halloween king reaches out, his hand goes through the canvas. he falls out of his frame and lands in a heap of lanky limbs with a thwump. peculiar. this has never happened before. he tries to climb back into his empty portrait, but it's no use. he can't return.

is he truly back in the world again in a corporeal form? :O !!!! oh, how exciting!!!!! there's so much he's wanted to do! he must find you first, though! he's been dying (lol) to meet you in the flesh. :)