#How to place stuff and mix it to sound a specific way

[gatheringbones]

[“Ozzy: Since we're talking about academia, I just was curious if there's anything you feel like you've learned from your students, or just younger trans people, that has changed how you think about your own gender?

Susan: I have to say I'm really intrigued by the relatively recent emergence of nonbinary frames of reference and nonbinary identities. And it's not new in and of itself, right? Because for me back in the early ‘90s, it's what “transgender” meant; it actually meant more like “not a binary trans transsexual who just wants to disappear into the woodwork.” “Transgender” was [Susan makes explosion sound effect] – boom. And then it's come to mean something else. But I look back into the ‘60s, and I see things about “genderfuck,” or whatever. There's plenty of quote unquote “nonbinary” ways of expressing gender. It's not a new thing.

But what I think is new is that, as I read it, a lot of younger people who are embracing a nonbinary identity or they/them pronouns…it's not so much even that people are necessarily saying “I think of myself as androgynous,” or “I’m blending or mixing and matching,” but what I really hear is this deeper awareness of saying that “society treats gender as if it is nonconsensual, and I'm just gonna call bullshit on all of that.” It’s just like “I don't agree with that perspective, I am orienting myself away from that,” or thinking about all the complexities of how cis and trans relate to each other.

The way that I think of it is “well, if cis means ‘on the same side’ and trans means ‘across,’ aren’t we all kind of different combinations of things we stay on the same side of, versus things that we cross over?” So for me the question is always: how are you being cis and trans – in what ways and what combinations? I think there's a really interesting conversation happening there about: when do you need to name specifically a trans difference? When do you need to call out an unstated norm? How do we all situate ourselves in this mix of different ways of moving across and staying on the same side of? That can too often just collapse into yet another biologically-defined-by bearing.

So I feel like I've learned that from younger people. ‘cause for me, the “cis” terminology…I was already thinking about trans before that word really started taking off, and I have found it really useful in some ways, and I find it to shut down necessary conversations in others. I guess those are the two main things.

Maybe another is that I am always blown away when I discover some small niche trans subcommunity, some subreddit or whatever. Just kind of like: wow! You've got a whole world of references here, and internal dialogues and dynamics and whatever. And I never even heard about this.

I call that “truffle hunting” – I love to find a good truffle that I have just never, never come across that tasty morsel before. And there's just so much of it. There are tens of millions of people who have some claim to trans community or identity, and that's a big place to live. I have not in my 30 years of foraging – plus all of the archival work that I've done – I have not in the least exhausted what is there to be found. It is an active, living, ongoing culture, and new stuff is coming up all the time. And I just love it when I find something that's new to me.

Tuck: Mhm. Well, it reminds me of something that you said that also ties well into our last question, which is: In that 2022 interview I keep referring back to, one thing you said was “...we simply don't know yet all that trans can do. It keeps doing new things, evolving over time.” And that mental image of it continuing to evolve – especially since we were talking that it is maybe in a moment of feeling like it's being co-opted by neoliberalism – and it's like as you said, we're in one moment, and it can evolve back out of that, and that's an exciting potential.

Susan: Yeah. You know, where that idea comes from for me is reading Spinoza, and reading Deleuze and Guattari – the post-structural cultural theorists. But this thing that Spinoza said back in the 1600s is like we don't even know yet what a body can do, and then Deleuze and Guattari pick up on this. But the basic idea there is that a capacity to affect and be affected by things that happen in the world…it's always relational.

It's like a body only means something or can do something or has certain capacities for acting or feeling in relationship to some other specific thing. It's not an essential quality that's intrinsic to the body; it's a capacity that emerges in the relationship of that body to the rest of the world. And so as the world changes, you might discover different capacities of your body or your identity. And so that sense that there's always a potential for something new to emerge feels really important to me.

I know what trans meant to me when I was thinking about it as a kid, and I was coming out into it as a young adult, and I've studied it as an old person, and now in this world it's like… what is trans going to become? It's not gonna be your grandma's transsexuality or transgender or transness. It’s gonna become something new. I see transness as a practice of freedom that is trying to find a way towards life. And so as material circumstances change, what new paths open up? What new needs emerge? What new strategies or tactics do people develop?

To me, to be trans is to be actively alive and engaged with the world around you. And it's experimental, and it's emergent, and it's a virtual…you’re grasping onto virtual potentials that might exist but are not yet fully materialized. And through your actions, you materialize those things that are virtually present in the material organization of the world at this moment. And I can't think of a way I'd rather be, you know? Even if the world is hard, even if it's all on fire and falling apart, and Project 2025 is staring us…[Tuck laughs]...right in the face. So even with all of that, I'm still really happy to be here now.

Tuck: Yeah! Well that perhaps completely covers our last question, but we have to ask it, cause we always do after every interview. So the way we always end the show is by asking: in your ideal world, what would the future of gender look like?

Susan: That it would increasingly be a means of self-expression and connection with others, and the more-than-human world, and less a structure of coercion and control.”]

[candypot]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗜 𝗞𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗢: nsfw headcanons

♱⋅── Autor notes: guys, tell me if you prefer me to write a gender neutral reader next time

Drunk sex is probably a thing that happens often if you’re also found of alcohol, we cannot ignore the fact that this man is a heavy drinker. Considering that you guys have a close relationship, he won’t see any problems inviting you to drink in his place after a particular hard day (he’ll cook some delicious appetizers for the both of you too)

Seriously, there’s nothing more trilling than that dizzy feeling after some beers and the fact that you’re there so needy and ready for him. Those sloppy neck kisses and wet sounds filling the room make it so hard for him to keep it on his pants (but he won’t do it if you’re super drunk because it’s disgusting and disrespectful, so he makes sure you drink just the regular amount for you to keep in control of your own consciousnesses)

If you’re not into alcoholic stuff he will probably avoid drinking when he’s next to you. Nanami understand that the way alcohol smells and it’s collateral effects can be pretty unpleasant so he just make sure to don’t do it when he’s spending his time you.

Loves to be slow and steady while fucking you, the feeling of you begging and clenching around him while he moves his thumb in circles around your clit drives him insane.

If you ask him, he’ll be rough with you and might even like it better than the normal pace. How could he not get addicted to the sensation of your hair wrapped around his hand while while he tug it real good for you to whimper his name?

There’s no way back once he gets used to it, but chill, he’s gonna prepare you so good that you may get addicted to it even more than him.

Likes to keep your intimacy private so don’t expect to hear him answering Gojo’s uncivilized questions about his night activities with you. This also goes for your unexpected needy messages on the middle of the day, specifically if there’s revealing photos of you on it.

Feels secretly excited when you whisper dirty things on his ear. How can he not go crazy when you tell him you’re drenching wet for him? How can he keep it together when your hands rub over his pants so fiercely? It’s throbbing and you gonna have to find a way to solve it immediately so he doesn’t make a fool of himself.

He has a kink for office sex, but he won’t talk about it unless you point out how quickly he comes when he fucks you right after work. That work smell mixed with perfume and sweat was honestly so arousing. Seeing you hold his tie with your mouth so you don’t moan louder was a wonderful way to relax after such a draining week. Nanami will be delighted to rip your pantyhose every single time, but don’t worry! He’ll buy you new ones to compensate you about it.

[bamfkeeper]

Cooking with Kurt.

RQ: 'So, I’ve been thinking lately about cute ideas, and one of them is about cooking. Could you write a head-cannons (or a fic if you like the idea and want to be more in-depth) of Kurt and the Reader cooking? Kurt teaches the reader how to make certain German foods, and the Reader teaches Kurt some tricks too. Just the two bonding over cooking and praising and complimenting each other for their good jobs. I just find this to be adorable since cooking is a great way to share cultures and bond 🥧😋.' - @hulkingharbor

pairing: Kurt Wagner x GN!reader | warnings: None

a/n: Stuck with headcannons because those are easy for me to write up. I have been neglecting this blog a bit I'm so sorry. I wanted to get some stuff out before I left for my trip. Unedited.

Kurt was over the moon when you expressed interest in his German heritage. Your curiosity about his roots had always been genuine, but when the topic turned to cuisine, his excitement reached new heights. The prospect of sharing his culinary traditions with you filled him with joy.

He saw cooking and baking together as a meaningful way to connect and create lasting memories, it was one of his love languages for sure.

The kitchen became a space where cultural exchange and personal bonding intertwined. Kurt's eyes would light up as he described the myriad of German dishes he was eager to introduce you to, each recipe carrying a story or a cherished memory from his past.

From hearty sauerbraten to delicate apfelstrudel, he had an extensive repertoire of flavors he couldn't wait to explore with you.

Kurt stood beside you, his lean body adorned with a whimsical apron that seemed almost comically out of place on his athletic frame.

His nimble fingers worked the dough with practiced ease, kneading it into submission. "I am beyond thrilled to be baking with you, liebe," he exclaimed, his voice brimming with enthusiasm. "This is something I've been longing to do for quite some time now."

His golden eyes sparkled with joy as he spoke, his hands never ceasing their rhythmic motion on the precious dough. Meanwhile, you busied yourself with the task of slicing apples, the crisp sound of the knife against the cutting board.

"You look absolutely ridiculous," you chuckled affectionately, your eyes crinkling with mirth as you took in the sight of him in his frilly apron. The appearance of his muscular form and the dainty kitchen wear was too amusing to ignore.

Kurt was never one to back down from playful banter, he responded by sticking out his tongue at you in a childish gesture. His graceful tail swished mischievously behind him. You noticed that the tip of his tail had somehow managed to acquire a light dusting of flour.

Before you could react, his tail flicked swiftly in your direction, sending a small cloud of white powder flying towards you. It landed on your nose, a tiny puff of it exhaling as you snorted.

Kurt's laughter filled your ears, and you picked up some flour to combat him, his hands went up as he playfully begged you not to. "Nein! Nein, liebe! Flour and my fur do not mix!"

His pleading didn't deter you.

Flour collided with him and you both began a play fight of tossing the white ingredient at each other until you were covered in it.

Besides your little food fight, you both learned how to cook each others favorite meals. Kurt gladly taught you special recipes, and you baked delicious cookies and made warm meals to eat together.

You were surprised at how hearty his meals were, despite him being fairly lean. He blamed it on his metabolism.

Kurt loves to cook you food. Whenever you request a dish, he gets right on it and is so proud of the outcome. He always does his best and is very specific about the ingredients he uses. It has to be fresh and perfect for you.

Cooking and baking together became a cherished ritual, a delightful exploration of flavors and cultures. You take turns introducing each other to your respective backgrounds, eagerly sharing family recipes and cooking techniques passed down through generations.

The kitchen becomes a messy playground of creativity as you collaborate on fusion dishes, blending elements from both your culinary heritage.

Kurt's enthusiasm for cultural exchange is endearing, his natural curiosity and open-mindedness make him an eager student of diverse traditions and customs. He approaches each new experience with childlike wonder, whether it's trying an exotic spice or learning a traditional method of cooking. He's always ready to sample new dishes, no matter how unfamiliar.

Kurt's eyes always light up as he tastes your food. "Mein Gott, liebling! This food is absolutely wunderbar!" he exclaims, his voice filled with genuine awe. He affectionately nuzzles his head against yours, his tail instinctively curling around your waist to draw you closer.

The gesture of his tail is protective and intimate, a habit he formed long ago and you never broke it from him. "You must write down this recipe for me. I'd love to surprise you with it someday when you least expect it."

You can't help but smile at his enthusiasm, your heart warming at his sincere appreciation. "Of course, I'll write it down for you," you assure him, your voice soft with affection. "But I expect detailed instructions for all your culinary masterpieces too."

Turning in his embrace, you wrap your arms around his shoulders, your fingers tracing the unique patterns of his skin. "After all, I need something to tide me over when you're away on missions. Can't have me pining away with an empty stomach, can we?"

A mischievous grin spreads across Kurt's face, his golden eyes twinkling with a mixture of humor and desire. He leans in close, his lips barely brushing against yours as he speaks. The feather-light touch sends a shiver down your spine, igniting a familiar warmth in your core.

"Oh, liebling," he purrs, his accented voice dropping to a seductive whisper. "When have I ever left you wanting for anything? I always make sure you're well-satisfied in every possible way~"

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight | Images found on Pinterest, I did not look for the specific comic Kurt's pic is from.

[lecsainz]

Hi! I love the way you write and you seem really sweet. No one really answers my requests so I’m not expecting you to😂. Why not try tho. Can I get a Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Half blood Reader. And the head cannons of our relationship and really go and do what you want with it. I love her sm and really want a good bit of head cannons of her.

I’m sorry if this sounds rude at all lol. I’m not trying to be.

HOLDING YOUR HAND

parings: clarisse la rue x fem!half-blood!reader

summary: that one where you date clarisse and what your relationship with her is like.

an: awww, thank you! you seem like an AMAZING person too, seriously! I loved your request, hope it turned out the way you wanted 😁 (note: I didn't specify which greek god the reader was because I didn't know if you wanted a specific one).

( my last work || my last work for riodanverse || main masterlist )

You and Clarisse have known each other since you first arrived at camp.

It took about two weeks for you to gather the courage to approach the daughter of Ares, which was odd for you because you were a social butterfly.

Clarisse wouldn't admit it, but she found it amusing when you came up to her and started to stutter, and to this day, whenever she remembers, she teases you about it.

After your first conversation, where you asked her to teach you sword fighting since you only knew how to use a bow and arrow until then, Clarisse gladly accepted. Her condition was that she'd only teach you if you joined her team in Capture the Flag, considering you were one of the best - if not the best, in Clarisse's words - at the camp.

Thanks to the training sessions, you and Clarisse began to bond as friends.

You talked about everything and nothing simultaneously. Clarisse felt she could be herself around you, knowing you wouldn't judge her.

Even if Clarisse was in the midst of a fight or giving orders alongside her half-siblings, she would stop as soon as she saw you, to come over for a conversation or to give you a hug.

She doesn't remember when she started feeling something for you, but she got scared that you might not feel the same and ended up distancing herself.

"Hey, Clarisse," you began tentatively, trying to keep your tone light yet concerned. "Mind if I join you?" She glanced up, surprise flickering across her features before settling into a guarded expression. Nodding silently, she gestured to the empty spot beside her. Sitting down, you couldn't ignore the tension radiating from her. "You've been a bit distant lately. Is everything alright?" Her gaze softened, a mix of emotions swirling in her eyes – a blend of vulnerability and the stubbornness that defined her. "It's nothing, just camp stuff," she shrugged, trying to brush it off. You tilted your head, offering a small smile. "You know, you can talk to me about anything. I'm here if you need someone to listen." Clarisse sighed, her guard starting to crack as she looked away, fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on her shirt. "I just... I thought maybe I was getting too close. Didn't want things to get... complicated." Her vulnerability caught you off guard, but you reached out, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Complicated how?" She hesitated, eyes darting back to yours, her expression a mix of confusion and a touch of fear. "I... I started feeling something... and I was afraid you didn't feel the same." Your heart skipped a beat as her words sank in. "Clarisse, I..." You searched for the right words, hoping to convey what you hadn't said before. "I've enjoyed every moment we've spent together. You mean a lot to me." She met your gaze, her walls crumbling slightly, allowing a glimpse of vulnerability to shine through. "Really?" "Yeah," you nodded earnestly. "Really." A small, hesitant smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "I've missed hanging out with you." "I've missed it too," you admitted, relieved that you were finally talking about the unspoken tension between you. There was a brief pause, the weight of your unspoken feelings hanging in the air before you broke the silence. "So, are we good?" Clarisse grinned, a hint of her usual spark returning. "Yeah, we're good."

It was no surprise to anyone at the camp when you two appeared together.

During the Capture the Flag game, Clarisse always kept an eye out for you. While she was engaged in a battle with a Hermes kid, she ended up falling, and you intervened just in time, nearly hitting the boy with an arrow.

"Need a hand?" You asked with a smile at your girlfriend. "I could've handled it myself," she grumbled, starting to get up. "A 'thank you' would be nice," you offered your hand to her. She accepted the help to stand. "I'm holding your hand," she murmurs, taking yours, and you lift her, shaking your head, amused by her. Clarisse stops and looks at your hands together with a huge smile. Before you could say anything, a noise from the forest interrupted, and Clarisse planted a kiss on your cheek before darting off, leaving you standing there, trying to process what just happened.

Clarisse definitely loves giving bear hugs.

She would wake up earlier just to spend extra time with you without anyone interrupting.

When Clarisse's siblings from the Ares cabin tease her about being a lovesick fool, she doesn't even bother defending herself anymore because it's true, and she's not ashamed to admit it.

Your love language is physical touch, so she wouldn't mind receiving hugs and holding your hand all day long.

"Good morning!" You'd hug her from behind at the Ares table, planting a kiss on her cheek, realizing she was annoyed, then darting off to your own table. When you glanced back at the brunette, you'd see her with a huge goofy smile amidst the cheers and teasing from her siblings.

While Clarisse trains, you would go just to watch her. She'd try to impress you, but if she made a mistake, she'd be extremely embarrassed, yet she wouldn't admit it, claiming that the slip was part of her plan for that move that made her fall to the ground.

"And that's how you catch your opponent off guard," she'd explain as she gets up from the ground. "Yeah, right," you start laughing at her. "Hey, I'm serious." Clarisse brushes off the dirt from her clothes, trying to save face.

She'd dislike everyone else but seeing you would instantly brighten her day by 100% .

[wittymumbledon]

With how much gravity falls stuff I’ve been working on lately it’s taken me a while to get around to finishing this (long enough for me to nearly finish reading over the first “season” for the third time in a row) but here it is!! A double-page spread dedicated to @ckret2’s golden-haired menace, because I wanted NEEDED to show my appreciation for this fucking amazing AU ✨

Figuring out how to translate Goldie into my style was really fun--I tried to stay true to the original, but kinda subconsciously also added elements from my own Bill which I think is neat (namely the angular smile and triangular brows). I dunno why I gave him That One Curl (TM) but once I noticed it I tried to carry it through all the pics--the hair as a whole was really fun, especially messing around with the textures when it was--well, say, messy.

I redrew some of my fav frames/story moments (plus a couple extras: the cleaning one is inspired by when i was cleaning irl, and realized that Goldie made me feel a lot less dysphoric about wearing leggings and tank tops 'round the house. Thus - in tribute to the irony - Bill gets my leggings fdfhjdfhdf)

but that barely even scratches the surface of just the pure, gloriously hilarious chaos that this beast has to offer-- not to mention the simple fact that it is just. REALLY well written: the attention to details from the books, the comics, and the show itself; the way each character is visibly flawed in some way, be it with their morals, or their actions, or the soundness of their morals; the way each chapter healthily mixes random show-like chaos with genuinely useful info that later BEAUTIFULLY Chekov Gun's itself right back into the culmination of each saga -- it all feels so aware and true to canon and so, so, SO beautifully ALIVE. Dare I say it is one of my absolute favourite fanworks that I've ever read.

Speaking of which - if you’ll excuse me - I have some chapters to catch up on. Like I said - I’ve specifically held off reading the latest ones so that i’d finish the fanart faster and so that i’d have an excuse to make more. looking at you - bill’s abomikini /hj

If you've made it through my lil essay there I appreciate it so much <3

Bonus: I wove a lil bracelet inspired by the one Mabel made for Bill✨

Didn’t have the right colours of embroidery thread on hand so I used yarn instead, but that actually ended up working perfectly with the beads I had (just plain ol' blue ones, cause I wasn’t sure if using nazar beads would have been culturally insensitive or not - nor did I have any nazar beads that I could have used in the first place - but hey! these ones are nice and shiny and the colour works well imo)

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/787392319695519744/every-time-i-see-a-post-discussing-how-lesbians?source=share

One of my trans friends was venting the other day about a person they had to kick from his trans support group for spouting off about how a specific member with a rare gender experience should not be welcomed and supported because cis people will use that person's gender to invalidate transness as a whole.

That's what this Anon sounds like.

Lesbian and trans spaces exist to support the lesbians and trans people in them, and they must actually welcome the lesbians and trans people with less standard experiences who need that support. Watering things down to a very simplistic level in order to explain basic concepts to outsiders does have its place, but that place is the thanksgiving dinner table when you're trying to convince your aunt to stop being a dick.

You cannot lop the bi off of a bi lesbian just because *you* are sqeamish about her existence. She's a real person who exists, not an object lesson created to demonstrate the concept of lesbianism to someone asshole who was creeping on you.

--

Yup.

I have a bone to pick with a lot of "Can we just talk about ___" stuff too.

I let the ask out of my inbox, so obviously, on one level, I'm willing to talk, but there's a way of asking for a conversation that's actually about creating a hostile environment.

It's often unconscious, but it amounts to "You owe me your time". I'm sure that most bi lesbians have been asked to explain themselves ad nauseam. This pattern repeats in nastier and tamer versions with intrusive questions about everything from mixed race people's ethnic identities to "But why girl like teh yaoiz???"

It's a version of "If you would just think about ___" supposedly consciousness-raising slacktivism that is so common in fandom spaces and online queer spaces.

A lot of the time, people don't even owe you acknowledgement that they saw the question, let alone a lengthy conversation. It's as true for explaining their identities or fandom tastes online as it is for explaining what book they're reading to some pest in a coffee shop who can't let people read in fucking peace.

[casuallyawkardd]

Dating Miguel O'Hara NSFW

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x GN!Reader

Summary: Same thing as my other 'Dating Miguel O'Hara', this time for the grown ups

Warnings: NSFW MINORS DNI! Sex, rough sex, oral sex, praising/degradation, breeding kink, consensual somnophilia, maybe angst if you squint, not fluent in spanish so correct me if I'm wrong on grammar/translations

A/N: I didn't use the same taglist as my past fics cuz idk how many of you are comfortable with this kinda stuff so please fill out my new TAGLIST if mature content is your thang 💅

First Time

Miguel would hold off until you're ready, honestly he's so busy he forgets how high his sex drive is and can get easily distracted. It's a week or so after you two became official and he can pick up on the signs. You're wearing something a little more revealing for date night, something to show off his favorite parts of you. Specifically your ass and thighs. Being a bit more touchy with a hand on his arm or leaning in close when he's talking.

He can even smell it on you, the faint scent of your pheromones making his head fuzzy. Hear how your heart beats a little faster when you invite him up to your place. The man has heightened senses, making him more perceptible to how your body reacts to him.

The first time he restrains himself a lot. Miguel is very much aware of what he's capable of, the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. On top of that, he's a big guy. A big guy who's...proportional. In every aspect. It's a canon event. He's a lot to accommodate and he knows it, so he takes his time.

Preps you well for him. Fingers pressing past your lips, letting you suckle the digits until they're slick with saliva, only to then spread you open with two fingers. Three when he realizes you're tighter than he had expected. It gives him the chance to figure out what makes you tick. What places his fingers have to graze that make your hips buck against his palm. Where to curl them to make you moan louder and arch your back so your chest is flush with his. How fast he has to move them to drive you over the edge.

However, no amount of fingering can prepare you for what's to come. It's a stretch regardless, a dull burn as he bottoms out. The first time hurts, but at the same time you feel so full. It's a deliciously addictive sensation, the pain and pleasure mixing together. Miguel trails kisses along your neck and shoulder, praising you as you adjust.

"Mierda, you're so tight for me."

"Take me so well, cariño"

You learn very quickly how vocal this man is, a stark contrast to his usual quiet and brooding attitude. Moaning and grunting shamelessly when he begins to move. He reminds himself to hold back, but that doesn't stop him from thrusting deeply into you. Falling into a steady rhythm as he ruts his hips against yours. You're trapped under him, his forearms and sheer mass caging you in. Miguel can feel his control slipping and he fights it every step of the way.

The teeth nipping and marking your neck and shoulders moving to bite into the flesh of his wrists when his fangs come out. Gripping your sheets and pillows so he doesn't accidentally cut the skin of your hips with his claws. He wants to though. He so desperately wants to grab you so he can fuck you even harder, move you to his liking. Miguel notes that he'll have to get you new bedding, like the kind at his place, after ripping up your pillows and sheets.

He makes sure to treat you well so you come back for more, picking up on every request and plea until you reach your climax. As you flutter around his cock, you get a taste of just how rough he can be. Miguel adjusts his thighs to be under yours, lifting and angling your hips so he can reach deeper, if that's possible. The last few thrusts fast and creating the most obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin.

When he's spent, he moans right in your fucking ear to let you know. His head moves to rest on your chest as you both catch your breath, you combing your fingers through his hair and placing rewarding kisses on the dark curls. Your breath catches in your throat when he lifts his eyes to you, the red of them glowing in the low light.

"No crees que hemos terminado, ¿verdad?" You don't think we're done, do you?

Early On

It takes some time to convince him that he's not going to kill you while you two are having sex. While he thinks he'll cause irreparable damage, both mentally and physically, if he loses control, you on the other hand trust him unconditionally. He's a good guy, a superhero for crying out loud, you don't see any reason to doubt him until he gives you a reason to.

It starts with little things to boost his confidence. Hands on your hips when you ride him, letting him pull you down on his cock when you move at a teasingly slow pace. A hand tangled in your hair while he fucks your throat, encouraging you to take him deeper with every thrust harder than the last.

It all pays off one night after the two of you get into a fight. In hindsight, it was over something stupid. Some asshole had made some inappropriate comments about you and that riled him up. You, on the other hand, could care less. He was just some dumbass who was mad you turned him down. Who then became even more bitter when Miguel showed up and he saw who he was 'competing' with.

Maybe it was because you didn't care, or because Miguel was still riled up from the interaction, either way he had to take out his frustration somehow. You don't know how you ended up bent over the back of the couch, Miguel plowing into you with no remorse, but you loved it. Rough sex was never something you thought you'd be interested in, but having his claws tear your clothes from your body and his sharp fangs graze suggestively along your jugular makes you excited. Makes you want more.

"You're such a fucking brat, mi amor"

"Remember who makes you feel this good next time some cabrón decides to eye fuck you."

Once he's finished 'teaching you a lesson', his words not yours, he treats you the usual aftercare. Cleaning you with a warm washcloth, preparing a bath if you ask him to, combing his fingers through your hair and praising you for being so good. It's when you're going to bed you realize that he finally let loose. And like you said, he didn't kill you. Just left you with some bruising and maybe a few nicks from when he tore your clothes off.

You make a mental note to reward him with breakfast and some morning head tomorrow.

Favorite Things

In terms of what Miguel enjoys doing with you during your-ahem- alone time, where to even begin.

In terms of kinks, it's a given that he has a breeding kink. Even if you are unable to actually have kids, he still just loves cumming inside you. To the point that when he finally pulls out his cum leaks down your thigh and he has to push it back in with his fingers. If you can get pregnant, he gets off on the idea of you carrying his child. Belly swollen with his baby inside of you. Pride flaring up in his chest at the mere thought of it.

Somnophilia is an unexpected turn on for him. It makes sense, after having multiple nights where you expect him to be home, only for him to arrive after you'd gone to sleep, sexual frustration was bound to happen. You'd talk about it beforehand, making sure it's all consensual. He'd come home to find you already in bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. No underwear. His indicator to know you needed him. Watching you be roused by his cock sliding into you, the half asleep moans falling from your lips, he finds it both mesmerizing and adorable.

Using his fangs on you is a rare treat. You had expressed interest at one point, wondering what it'd be like to be completely at his mercy when his venom leaves you immobile. It's not his favorite, but in those rare instances where he wants to remind you that you're his and only his, it comes in handy. You enjoy the manhandling aspect of it, Miguel bending you into whatever position he desires so he can fuck you stupid.

Sex positions depend on his mood. If he's feeling romantic, he likes to be able to look into your eyes. Mating press, cowgirl, even modified versions of the missionary position are what he enjoys. He also provides more foreplay, spending what feels like forever just pleasing you with his fingers and mouth. Especially his mouth. He loves thighs, so feeling yours clench around his head turns him on to no end. One time even, your thighs were positioned in just the wrong way when clamping around his neck, cutting off blood flow and he passed out; you were both too lost in the moment to notice until his body went limp on top of you. Don't worry, you guys had a good laugh about it when he finally came to.

"Dying between your thighs would be the perfect way to go, mi vida."

When he's in a bad mood, it's a different story. It's usually after a rough day at work or if you're pissing him off by being a tease/bratty. His goal is to have you trapped between his body and whatever surface he chooses, varying from the bed, to the couch, the wall, etc. Doggystyle, full Nelson and flat iron are popular choices. He's rougher than usual too, pulling your hair, leaving more hickies than normal and his dirty talk is more degrading than praising. Foreplay is more of a way to assert dominance over you, overstimulating you into submission.

"One more, cum one more time for me. Te voy a joder estúpido, putito." I'll fuck you stupid, little whore.

This is also the time when injury is more likely to occur. Nothing major, puncture marks from his claws on your hips and scratches from his fangs grazing your shoulder. You don't accept his apologies after because there's nothing to be sorry for.

On and Off

There will most likely be a phase in the relationship where the two of you are struggling to keep said relationship afloat. While problems in the bedroom are rare, issues usually being not enough sex, the relationship outside of that can be rocky. The both of you are busy and finding time to spend together becomes harder and harder to do.

The reasons for breaking up can vary. Sometimes it's on his end, Miguel wanting to protect you from his life as Spider-Man and wanting you to be happy and not waiting on him. Other times you're the one to end things because he doesn't provide you with the attention you deserve or because you feel like a burden to him and his work. Either way, even when you're not together officially, it's hard for the two of you to keep your hands off each other.

Miguel shows up to your apartment multiple times, most of the time uninvited. It's always late, the sound of the window to your living room sliding open, followed by his heavy footsteps is enough to wake you up. When you step out of your room, he greets you like a man starved. Sinking to his knees and wrapping his arms around your waist, lifting your shirt to leave kisses down your stomach.

"Been missing you so much, necesito recordar el sabor de ti." need to remember the taste of you.

He's trying to butter you up and you know it. Whether it be you missed him too or you're too tired to argue, you fall for it almost every time. Letting him grasp the back of your thighs to lift you as he stands, making his way to your bedroom with you in his arms and lips pressed against yours.

You don't know which you like better, the sex when you guys aren't together or the makeup sex that follows. Every. Single. Time. It's always after something happens, ranging between him finding out you're starting to date other people again to one of you surviving a near death experience. Either way, it always starts the same.

Miguel shows up at your place, as usual, but instead of groveling for your forgiveness, he's fuming. Mad that you're looking at other guys and not him, mad that he almost lost you, mad that he was stupid for letting you go in the first place...either way he's pissed off. A possessive hand at the nape of your neck, forcing you to look him in the eye. Eye contact is very important to him.

"You're mine, cariño. I'm not letting you go ever again."

After some bickering and maybe even shouting, the interaction usually ends with you ass up over the nearest object while he pummels you with his thick cock. One of his hands restraining your hips while the other is snaked around your torso, his hand wrapped around your neck and his hot breath against your ear. It's an odd routine you've become used to, borderline unhealthy even. However, while the lows can be pretty low, the highs are oh so high. The good times make you fall for his tricks without question. Besides, you both know he's the one wrapped around your little finger.

Don't worry though, for the ride or dies, it all pays off in the end. The back and forth between you two settles and Miguel finds his permanent home between your thighs. As well as your heart, of course.

Tags:

@khaleesihavilliard @leahnicole1219

[the-s1lly-corner]

Reader dying in front of them (crp edition 1/?)

I don't want to be silly anymore. I want to be EVIL! Also I've been on a bit of an angst kick lately so uuuuuuuuuh yeah... i make no promises that the other parts will come directly/quickly after this UHUHUHUH usually i try to group multi part stuff together but atp im kinda just trying to slowly work though my writers block so i have. no idea how posts are going to look for a while

Characters: slender, splendor, masky, hoodie, ticci toby

Notes: reader was gn, scenarios range from vague to specific, not s good time, written in a random burst of energy because eeeerm admin is going through one of his hella sleepy patches, reader is a proxy in masky/hoodie/tobys parts, its up in the air whether or not the reader is in on the whole crp thing w/ slender and splendor

CWs: wounds and death, canon typical violence, mercy killing

SLENDERMAN

youre caught in between him and someone rushing to attack him- usually he would be able to pull you out of the way but for one reason or another he wasnt fast enough. for the first time in... god knows how long... someone caught him off guard

and you have to pay for it. the pain is too much for you, blurring your vision. you just know that in an instant the attacker is dead and torn apart on the ground and slenderman is hovering over your body as your life quickly seeps out onto the forest floor together

he doesnt pick you up or hold you- he knows better than that, the act would likely makes things worse. youre already going to die as is, theres no way he can stop the bleeding fast enough... the most hes going to do is grace his tentacles along your face in an attempt to brush away the blood and tears. youre buried somewhere in the forest, near a patch of flowers

SPLENDORMAN

hes distraught, but he doesnt let that stop him from trying to control the situation and prevent it from getting worse. whether it be someone running around with a weapon or a horrible accident thats left you broken on the ground

he wants to hold you- he wants to save you, but youre falling apart right in front of him and hes powerless to stop it. the only thing he can do is try to comfort you as your life comes to an end. he holds you in his arms; his hands absentmindedly try to apply pressure to your wounds... he tears his hands away when you react with pain. theres so many apologies falling from his mouth that it may outpace your blood loss

more than anything hes going to blame himself. he prides himself on being a good guy, someone who can help and overall be a positive impact for people. he takes the loss.... so hard... he will eventually return to his old self... or at least as close to it as he can get given the tragedy- but for a long time hes going to be wearing a mask

MASKY

youre both chasing down people who have gone too deep into the woods. its the middle of the night, and... its too dark for you to see one of them rushing you from the side. the attack on you only lasts for what feels like a few seconds, but the damage done is enough to leave you heaped on the ground

masky doesnt carry first aid with him, and youre both too far off from any help. but thats not going to stop him crushing the skull of whoever stabbed you- followed by picking you up and taking you (a mix of him carrying you and dragging you) some place where you can rest while he comes up with a plan

it... sounds heartless given that hes still at least partially focused on the other targets running around in the night... but its more of a mechanism for himself to keep his mind forward in the face of your condition. he... leaves you to rest and comes back to your corpse

HOODIE

he wasnt there when you were initially injured, but he finds your slumped over form against a tree somewhere in the woods. your head hung forward against your chest, as if you were unconscious but as he gets closer he finds out youre still awake... but if you were fully aware... there was no real way for him to tell

hes seen enough people with bashed in heads to know that youre not going to last, and that there realistically isnt anything he can do. hes as hard to read as ever, if you can still decipher whats happening around you you cant make out how hes feeling

theres nothing he can do to help you, youre likely to be dead by the time he manages to find a way to treat your wounds. so he does the only thing he can think of. he finishes the job, cutting your suffering short for your own sake. its not a decision he makes lightly

TICCI TOBY

when he finds you being overpowered by one of the people you guys were running down in the forest he is livid- panicked but angry beyond belief. he throws one of his hatchets as hes bolting towards the scene and uses the other to finish the job

hes easily one of the more outwardly emotional and gutted ones, and his own state may make things worse for you. hes trying to coax you to keep your eyes open- please respond to his questions, you dont even have to answer them correctly.. just keep talking so he knows youre still here while he tries to rake his brain for anyway to save you

he begins shaking you- lightly at first, before eventually nearly thrashing you- when you stop talking. youre gone, and hes going to live with that for the rest of his life. he... will always think about what could have happened if he stuck with you or came to your aid faster. your loss leaves him more irritable than before and more likely to lash out

[irkimatsu]

3k, longest thing I've written in a long time! This is in a weird place where it's not specifically stated to be Husk, but it's also not not about Husk. It's about an older bartender who lives above the bar he works for, at any rate. A regular client keeps complaining to him about shitty dates, she hits on him until he agrees to show her how a real man does it, hot sex ensues. This is written strictly as dialogue from Husk the male partner, inspired by a NSFW audio Reddit I listen to stuff from sometimes. I kinda wanna post it there, see if anyone wants to read it? But it'd feel weird if someone who sounds nothing like Husk took it, but it feels even weirder to admit that this was written in Husk's voice...

Also if someone who sounds too much like Husk took it and I listened to it I might explode. There's also that.

I may edit it in either direction - either make it even less clear who the inspiration is, even add contradictory details just so I can say ha haha no this isn't about cartoons of course not, or just say fuck it and add details to clarify that yes, I want to fuck the furry bartender from Hazbin Hotel.

Oral both ways, then sex in doggystyle. Listener has breasts and a vagina and is referred to with female pronouns and words like "woman" and "girl". Husk is pervy but affectionate. A bit of emphasis on the age/experience gap - listener is legal but still young enough to be the speaker's daughter, and he admits to finding the gap kind of fucking hot. "Daddy" gets used. 18+!

...oh! Hey! Didn’t think you’d be dropping by tonight.

(laughs) Of course I’m always happy to see ya. Can I make your usual?

Extra strong, huh? All right.

(mixes and pours drink, sets it on the bar top)

Didn’t you have a date tonight? Guess it didn’t go so well if you’re drinking like this. Did you wanna talk about it?

…mmm-hmm… (disbelieving) …really? Right there in the fucking parking lot? Did he at least buy you dinner first?

…Jesus Christ, he couldn’t even be patient enough to eat before demanding blowjobs off you? Where do you find these assholes?

(reassuring) Hey, hey, I’m not blaming you. It’s just, I swear it’s every week that you’re coming in here bitching about some guy or another. Is this town really that full of scumbags?

You know what I think? I think you need to find guys with more dating experience. Guys who actually know how to treat a girl right. Guys who don’t just assume that a date automatically entitles them to sex, like some fuckin’ participation award or something.

…yeah, a real man. Not these boys you keep picking up.

…huh? …yeah, I have experience, but- oh. Oh, no, no no no. I’m twice your age, doll. I’m sure you could find someone with experience who isn’t old enough to be your father.

(disbelieving laugh) …that drink cannot possibly be hitting you this hard this quick, so what the hell is making you say stuff like that? Why would you date me?

Okay, maybe I was a catch once. Used to hang out in clubs, picking up women, men, other, I ain’t ever been picky… but that was ages ago. I’m all washed up. You could do way better, trust me. I don’t have the charm I used to.

"Better with age"? You flatter me, baby, but you don’t have to. I know my peak is long behind me. I stopped trying to pick up partners years ago.

(scoffs) What are you talking about, “pent up”? Yeah, I’ve still got needs, but-

Ohhh no no no, baby, you are not tempting me like this, I ain’t no cradle robber-

(hesitates) …of course ya look good… ain’t the first time I’ve noticed that. Your body, and that smile… you should be able to hook up with anyone you want. And yet you’re here trying to flirt with some old bartender?

(still disbelieving) …you seriously want to see what I’ve got. You mean it? You’re not gonna regret sleeping with some old man when you think about it later?

…if you insist. It’s a slow night, so I can shut the bar down a little early. Just let me get cleaned up here, then I’ll take you upstairs…

—

All right, here we are. We’re not too far from your place, right? Wouldn’t take too long if you wanna call it quits and take a taxi home?

(firm) Say you don’t wanna go all you want, I’m still leaving you the option.

So... how did you wanna start this? Do you need to be warmed up? I could put on some music, pour some wine-

(defensive) No, I’m not stalling, I’m just making sure-

(short laugh) Okay, okay, I get it! We’ll just get into things! Go on, sit on the bed, I’ll sit with you. Let me get a good look at you…

(in awe) …god, you’re so pretty… fuck, those eyes of yours…

You seem nervous… you okay?

(small chuckle) It’s kinda cute, actually. It’s making me want to… kiss you… (kiss, soft "mmm")

No, no, baby, don’t start getting undressed yet, I’m in no hurry. Let’s savor this, okay? Let me hold you close… and keep kissing you…

(kissing sounds throughout) I don’t get why all your dates are always in such a rush… I get why they want you, of course, but why wouldn’t they want to enjoy your company first? Why wouldn’t they want to kiss you… and hold you… mmm, that’s it, snuggle up to me… fuck, you’re so warm…

Can I touch you? I wanna run my hand down your cheek, your neck… oh, your skin feels so nice...

What about your chest? If it's okay, I’ll start over your shirt…

Ohhh, these are nice, I can tell already... so fuckin’ soft… heh, that noise you just made was so cute… come on, keep kissing me… (more kissing sounds) I’ll rub them gently, squeeze just a little… fuck, I’m getting excited already…

Heh… yeah, yeah, so I’m obviously going through a dry spell. You get used to your own hand for so long, you forget how nice it is to be with somebody.

No! No, this isn’t just me bringing home the first half-decent option I get! It’s more like… it’s been so long, I want my first partner in a while to be someone who’s really worth it, you know?

Here, give me your hand. I want you to touch me, too… stroke my knee, up my thigh… go slow, go as far as you want… yes, that’s it…

(moans) Oh, god, didn’t think you’d- fuck… (chuckle) it’s pretty obvious that you’re getting to me, huh?

Of course you can leave your hand there. Rub it, squeeze it, just be gentle… (moans) ohhh fuck… do… do you like what you feel so far? Mmm… good…

Yeah, I’ll admit it… I’ve- I’ve gotten this excited over you before… but I couldn’t- ah… not with someone… so much younger…

...yeah, you’re an adult, you can make your own decisions... but I didn’t want to be a creep-

(cut off by a kiss) Mmm! Ah… fuck, you’re a good kisser… mmm…

Can I see a little more of you? No, no, leave your hand where it is, fuck, please don’t move it… I'll take care of it. First I'll lift up your shirt…

Mmm, such a pretty bra… shame that poor bastard isn’t the one who gets to see it tonight. Maybe if he treated you right, he could have earned it…

Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make sure I deserve this. Let me hold them, and kiss them… I’ll worship your tits like they deserve… (softly kissing listener's breasts)

Can I push up your bra? Touch them directly? Good… oh, fuck, they’re so soft… so soft against my fingers… (continues kissing breasts) mmm… and my lips… ohhh, yes, keep touching me while I kiss you…

Fuck, your nipples are so hard… so pretty… can I kiss them, too? (more kissing) A little kiss… a little lick… mmm…

(briefly suckles breast)

(chuckles) Ohhh, you like having them sucked, huh? You can’t hide it when you moan like that, baby. Of course I’ll do it again… suckling one, squeezing the other... I won’t neglect you, don’t worry… (suckling) mmm…

(releases breast from mouth, takes a deep breath) Fuck, I need more of you... go on, let’s get this shirt and bra off you… now lay back on the bed…

Mmm, such a pretty thing laying in my bed… a sight I haven’t seen in such a long time…

Let me kiss you more… (kissing) your breasts… your stomach… (chuckles) Ohhh, you’re ticklish, huh? Then I’ll keep kissing you here… mmm, that giggle is so cute…

Can I take these off you? Just your pants first. Like I said, I wanna savor this… wanna see how pretty you are in just your panties…

Ohhh, fuck, that’s so sexy… can I kiss you here, right above the waistband? (kissing) Mmm, and a little lower… I love the tease, only a pretty piece of fabric keeping me from what I want… (deep inhale) fuck, you smell so good… (kiss) and even through these you taste so good… do you like getting eaten out, baby?

…you’re shitting me. Not even once? Are you not interested, or…

None of them? What do you mean, gross? No offense, doll, but I hate your dumbass boyfriends even more with every thing you say about them. ‘Eating pussy is gross’, what the fuck are they even talking about…

(sigh) No, people shouldn’t have to do stuff in bed they don’t want, but… your pleasure matters too. Did they do anything to help you cum?

(He needs a second to process what he's hearing.) …Jesus Christ. Okay. Let me get these panties off you so I can show you what a real man does for a lady. Then I’ll get in close so I can appreciate you like you deserve… (kiss) ah... so, so fucking good… mmm… I’m barely kissing your lips and you’re already getting my mouth soaked… I’ll start you off slow, sliding my tongue between your lips… (licks) ohhh, so sweet… I love knowing you’re dripping like this because of me… do other guys ever get you this wet?

Heh… guess I’m just special…

(keeps licking and kissing) Mmm… yeah, I’ll go faster… press harder… hah… yeah, baby, tug my hair like that, I’ll get as close as you need… haaaah…

Your clit’s so swollen… can I touch it? Just a little lick... oh fuck what a gasp, please keep making that noise… I’ll lick you, I’ll suck you, anything to keep you moaning like that… (eating noises)

Here, get your legs over my shoulders... now squeeze those thighs around me, I want you smothering me with that pretty cunt while I dig my nails into them… (eating and moaning, getting more intense as his partner orgasms)

Haaaah! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fuck, baby, what a mess… (small laugh) It’s all over my face…

Ohhh, no, baby, this is the opposite of a problem. I love the evidence that I did right by you. So hot and wet, and so fucking sweet… fuck, I’ll be licking my mouth and thinking about your taste for a long time after this…

Did it feel good for you, too? …heh, had a feeling… can’t remember the last time I heard someone scream like that. Fuck, you’re still shaking... do you need a break?

Of course. Do you want me to lay with you? Hold you?

(shuffling on the bed into a cuddling position)

…can I kiss you? Even though I just…?

(kiss) Mmm… heh, is it just me or are you even more eager to kiss me now…?

…hm? Oh, no, you don’t gotta-

Yeah, I like blowjobs, but- no, you don’t owe me or anything, I ate you out because I wanted to, not because-

…you really do like going down? Hm… well, all right, if you insist… just let me kiss those soft lips one more time… (kiss) let me imagine how soft they’ll feel against my cock… mmm…

All right, help me out of my clothes… and go ahead, touch me wherever you want while you do it. (kissing and shuffling of clothes) Mmm… fuck, I can’t stop kissing you… let me hold you close, feel your skin on mine… oh, you’re so warm, so soft… hug me tighter…

Mmm! Hah… you like my ass, baby? Go ahead, give it another squeeze- mmm-!

(breathing heavier) …okay… okay, I don’t know how much longer I can stand waiting. Let me just get comfortable against the headboard… you get comfy, too…

(smug) You like what you see? …is it really that impressive? I’m sure you’ve slept with somebody as big as I am…

You really don’t think you have? You try so hard to flatter me, doll…

Start slow, okay? Stroke it slowly… squeeze it a little, like that… (moans) Yes, that’s good… already so much fucking better than my own hand…

Heh… you look so cute kissing the head like that… come on, look up at me, let me see your eyes while you kiss me… so fuckin’ pretty…

Do you like it when I stroke your head like this? Don’t worry, I won’t push. Go at your own pace.

(moans) Yes, suck the head, just like that… keep using your tongue, keep using your tongue… ah- god, right there- fuck-

(heavy breathing) C-can you- go a little deeper? I want- more-

(moaning as listener sucks him off)

Ah- oh, god, that fucking tongue- yes, yes, yes-

(getting increasingly desperate) Suck me like that- please, deeper-

Can I- tug your hair a little- do you like that- fuck you’re so good-

B-babe… babe, you don’t have to force- fuck- fuck that’s deep- fuck-

Oh, fuck, you’re a goddamn natural… …have you ever… done deepthroat before… I wanna- I wanna feel-

(listener gags as she deepthroats speaker)

Fuck! Fuck your mouth is so wet- oh god that sound is fucking hot- swallow me, baby, please, let me feel your throat-

Oh, god, I can’t stop- my hips- I wanna- I wanna fuck you- fuck-

(speaker is bucking up into listener's mouth, listener isn't slowing down)

I’m sorry, I can’t stop, I’m sorry, I can’t- it’s too good- keep gagging like that, yes-

Oh god I’m gonna cum, make me cum, make me cum-

AH! FUCK! FUCK!

(nearly breathless) Oh… oh my god… fuck, I can’t breathe… fuck, fuck, fuck…

Babe… do you… always suck dick like that…?

Fuck… you suck a guy off… like that… and he doesn’t give you everything you want in return? Fuckin’... ungrateful…

Haaah… oh, god, I can barely move… come up here, I wanna hold you some more… and kiss you… (kiss) mmm…

Of course I don’t mind kissing you after you went down on me. It’s… (kiss) mmm… actually kind of hot… heh, I can tell what a mess I made of your throat… mmm…

…should I get you a tissue to spit in, or-

(both amused and aroused) …ohhhh. Oh, you nasty girl, swallowing it all like that… I’m liking you more by the minute. And I already liked you a lot before I brought you up here… mmm, kiss me again… and touch me… your hand is so soft against me, I wanna feel it anywhere you wanna touch me…

Ah- heh… going right for my dick again, huh?

Yeah, it’s getting hard again. Just thinking about what you just did to me is gonna turn me on for weeks, I can tell already…

Mmm, stroke me, baby… feel it getting harder in your hand, feel it throbbing… fuck, it feels even better now that you’ve gotten it so wet with your mouth…

Fuck, yes, I want more of you. Did you wanna… suck me off again, or…

…what I want… I wanna fuck you. God, I want you even more now than I did when I first brought you to bed. I don’t care anymore if I’m a dirty old man, I want you… come here, kiss me again…

(kissing throughout dialogue) Mmm… I wanna- fuck, I can’t stop kissing you- I wanna… I wanna fuck you hard… and fast… I wanna feel how tight you are… wanna feel you clench- wanna feel you cum- please, baby, I can’t remember the last time I needed someone this fucking bad… please, oh, please…

Any position I want, huh? Then can I see you on your hands and knees? Turn around, give me a good look… ohhhh… oh, fuck…

Fuck, what a nice ass… if I start squeezing it I might never be able to get my hands off it.

Of course I’ve stared at it before. With a body like yours, how am I not supposed to stare? I don’t like being a creep, but I am a man, and I can’t resist a nice ass…

You knew? Heh. Thanks for not slapping me, then.

(speaker is groping listener's ass) Mmm, it’s even softer than I imagined…

...yeah, I’ve fantasized about you before. Imagined kissing you, and touching you… imagined fucking you… just like this…

(hesitantly) Hey... I know you’re so much younger than me, but… can I say that it actually… turns me on? This whole thing… taking a younger woman into my bed, showing her something the boys her age could never give her…

I wondered if those guys you hooked up with every week were taking care of you. Now that I know that they weren’t, I need to make up for it… I need this… I need you… and I want you to need me, too…

God, your pussy’s still soaked… I need another taste of it… (kisses listener between her legs) mmm… oh, god, you’re shivering from the slightest kiss. Mmm… (kissing and licking) So pretty…

I don’t wanna hold back anymore, and you look like you don’t, either. Let me just grab a condom, and-

…no condom? But I want you to be safe. I know I don’t have anything, but that doesn’t mean you have to believe me-

…if you’re sure. ...you know, getting to feel your bare skin on mine, nothing in my way… I don’t wanna be selfish, but I love the idea of getting to feel every soft inch of you… so if that’s how you want it too, then…

I’ll go slow, baby, especially since you don’t think you’ve taken anyone this big before. Let me take your soft hips in my hands, gently rub my cock between your legs… oh, god, I love your heat…

Yes… yes, I’ll fuck you… I wanna fuck you too, baby, I want it as bad as you do… oh, god, you’re so hot, begging for me like that…

(slowly sinks in to listener) Ah! Oh fuck oh fuck… just the head and I’m already shaking… it’s been… way… too… long…

I’ll push in… slowly… oh, god, you’re soaked, and so open, it’s going in so easy…

Haaah… you like… being stretched like this? Oh god… oh god you’re tight… I’ll take it slow… get you used to me… oh, fuck, yes…

(has been slowly pushing in, is now bottomed out) Oh, I love feeling your ass pressed against my waist like that… press back against me while I grind against you… yes…

(starts thrusting, slowly at first, and moaning)

I wanna go faster… harder… wanna hear you begging for it… yes, yes… I’ll fuck you as hard as you want, baby, just beg… beg for me with that pretty voice… oh god…

(gradually speeding up, moaning and gasping)

I don’t think- I could stop- if I tried- fuck you’re so hot inside- beg me, beg me, beg me to fuck you-

(thrusting abruptly stops, the only sound is the speaker breathing heavily)

…haaah… wh… what the- did you just…

I thought I heard you call me… “daddy”...

…I never really thought about it, to be honest… it usually just sounds cheesy in pornos… but, um… could you- say it again…?

Mmm… mmm, yes, beg for daddy… beg daddy to fuck you… beg daddy to fuck your tight, young pussy… oh my god that's fucking good…

(thrusting again, quickly picking up speed)

You- you like it? You like being- my baby? Like being- daddy’s sweet girl? Fuck- fuck you’re clenching- haaah, you love it, I can tell-

Yeah, daddy’ll fuck you hard- daddy wants to hear you screaming for him- take me, baby, take me-

You like it rough like that? You like me digging my nails into your hips while I fuck you?

You’re gonna be so sore in the morning- bruised and scratched- and you’re going to love it, aren’t you, baby, gonna love knowing you’re mine-

Oh my god- cum all over me, cum on my cock, just like that-

(becoming increasingly desperate/feral again) No I won’t stop- I can’t stop- you’re so tight, baby, so hot-

You’re mine now- they can’t please you- not like I can- you’re mine, you’re mine-

I’m cumming, baby- gonna make you- mine-

(crying out in such intense pleasure)

HAAAAH! Fuck! FUCK!

(barely able to breathe) Ohhhh… oh god oh god… oh fuck… oh fuck…

Fuck, baby, I can… barely… stay upright… let’s… just lie down… right here…

(speaker collapses onto the bed, with listener cuddling up to him shortly after)

I love cuddling after sex, especially when it's that intense… oh, god, I don’t wanna let you go… my heart is hammering… can you feel it…?

I had… a lot of fun. I forgot how much… I missed stuff like this. Did you… have fun too?

Good. I’m… glad. My first time after so long… I’m glad it was with you, and not just some stranger. I always like it when you stop by the bar. I love our conversations. Love making you smile…

You make me feel… special, you know? Even before this… but especially now…

Would you wanna… do this again sometime…?

We don’t have to be monogamous or anything. Not like I’m proposing marriage. I just… I really like you. I wanna try this out some more… see where it goes…

(kiss) Mmm… you kiss me so sweetly, even after I was just so rough with you…

Heh… okay. Let’s just take this… one day at a time. See where it goes. I’m… I’m looking forward to it.

…did you wanna get going? Get showered off while I call you a cab?

No, I’m not throwing you out! But if you don’t want to spend the night in some old guy’s bed I’d understand-

…of course you can stay, if that’s what you want. If you stay… can we keep cuddling?

Heh… good… come on, let’s move up to the pillows, get you comfortable…

(shuffling as both reposition)

is everything all right? Not too cold? Good. Come here, let me hold you… let me keep you warm…

…hey… what sorts of things have you tried in bed before? Do you like anal? Or bondage…?

(intrigued) Hmmm… then I could teach you, if you want. Like you said, I’ve got experience. There’s a lot of fun stuff I could teach you… would you like that? An older man teaching you how to be dirty for him? Mmm, that’s what I like to hear. I’m looking forward to next time already…

(kiss)

I’ll see you in the morning, baby…

[max1461]

Here is my best attempt at diagramming what my crazy brain issue feels like:

On the right is how it feels like things are "supposed to work". I didn't explicitly conceptualize my mind that way explicitly in the past, but now that everything is going wrong, it feels like that's how they worked when they were going right.

What's supposed to happen is my memories and mental imagery live in some deep place in the back of my mind. When I choose to think about them, they come into the fore of my mind via both sides, meeting in the middle. I then see whatever it is in my mind's eye. When they meet in the middle, I experience the memory/visual/etc. and then it can pass. The outside world is in the front, my mind and internal thoughts are in the back, only when intentionally visualizing/remembering something do I bring that stuff from the back into direct conscious focus.

Now, my mind has gotten "backwards" or "inside out". I literally can feel and almost see those two lines I've drawn. It's like, uh, I am sitting inside my mind's eye, my focus is stuck facing backwards into my mind. Thus, rather than memories coming out of my memory back and showing themselves to me when I want them, I feel as though I am sort of stuck "falling backwards" into my memory bank, so that I can't actually see the memories but weirdly I feel like I'm in them. So I'll have this really visceral sensation of being in a particular memory from the past, but I can't see it's detail, it just feels like I'm there. And then, because this memory feels current in the moment, the details of whatever is happening around me in real life, or whatever I happen to be thinking about, mix with the memory and scramble it. Because I felt like I was reliving it, but instead of being able to see it directly I'm seeing what's currently happening.

The right side(?) of this two sided mental process feels "empty". Like like, it's hard to explain, but the part of thoughts that is supposed to come up the right side is not coming up, so everything feels partial.

So, all this feels internal, conceptual, like it's happening to my thoughts and impeding me from remembering things clearly, and causing the scrambling as memories mix with other things. But, it also feels physical, in the sense that"

my actual, physical face feels "sunken" or "fallen in", in accordance with the shape of the diagram on the left

If I focus on these two "strands" I get very specific physical pains in my body, sharp pains running up my left and right through and meeting in my palate (sometimes other places)

The whole thing is very geometrical and consistent. It's been like this since day 1 without change. I even remember feeling the weird "crevice" in the diagram on the left the night after getting home from the dentist, and thinking "what the fuck is wrong with my face?"

The tic that keeps feeling like it's "trying to happen", keeps coming out in other parts of my body, feels like it's trying to happen in the middle, sunken part of my face, but can't because it's not there.

So I know all of this sounds completely insane, but it's been SO consistent since day one that I think I have to mention it.

[fairy-writes]

I’m back for a second request (and still having a chainsaw man and Bungou stray dogs fixation at the same time)

Tecchou and Jouno with a reader who’s like Denji? Personality wise. Those two are my favs which is why I request for them 🙏 hopefully the requests don’t close as soon as I send this 🙏

-♦️

A LITTLE ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing(s): Saigiku Jouno x Reader

Suehiro Tecchou x Reader

Word Count: 0.7k

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Gender Neutral!Reader

Notes: Since there are multiple characters, I’m doing HCs :)

I also haven’t read Chainsaw Man since the first arc ended, so I’m bound to get some stuff wrong.

This is a bit weird in that these two sets of hcs are like… interconnected. There are kind of references to Jouno’s in Tecchou’s. Sorry if this isn’t what you wanted!

__________________________________________________________________________

Saigiku Jouno

It was safe to say that you and Jouno did not get along.

The two of you didn’t mix well like oil and water. 

The two of you were opposites in more ways than one. 

He was calm and composed. You were loud and, as he put it, “annoying”. 

He was what you would call “prim and proper”. And you were… not.

However, having grown up how you did, it was only natural. 

But… Things take a change one day after a particularly bad mission. 

The sound of gunshots is deafening, especially for someone like Jouno. He hunches his shoulders, ducks his neck to try and protect his fragile hearing, and bites out a curse between grinding teeth. 

This was all your fault!

If only you had listened to him, you wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place!

He flinches as a bullet whizzes over his head, and you come crashing into his side. He hears the cocking of your handgun and scowls, 

“Well, this is fun, isn’t it?” You chirp, and his scowl only deepens. 

“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you had only—”

“What, left the hostages behind? No way!” You snap back before peeking out from behind the car he had taken refuge behind to take a few shots. 

You might’ve been annoying, but you were a damn good shot because with every bullet, he heard a body hit the ground. It seems Fukuchi trained you well after finding you on the street. 

It wasn’t until all your targets were dead that you spoke again. 

“Now, let’s go get the hostages like Fukichi asked.” You said pointedly, and he rolled his eyes,

“He never stated whether they should be dead or alive.” He said, and he could practically hear you roll your eyes in return. 

He was going to have words with you when you got back to base. 

Suehiro Tecchou

You and Tecchou got along better than the previous headcanons. Not to say you guys were besties, but you could certainly have a civil conversation without trying to bite his head off. 

Not that you actually would, but that wasn’t the point. 

You knew he felt sympathetic to your situation. The only person on the Hunting Dogs squad without powers. And you were found on the streets by Fukuchi, no less. 

What he saw in you, you’d never know. But you were grateful.

Even if you still didn’t get along with Jouno. 

Tecchou found you fuming in your dorm room. The Military Police had a particular set of dorms specifically for the Hunting Dogs, and you were no exception. 

He had happened to walk by when he heard something smash against the wall next to your door and paused. He knocked quietly, peeking his head in before ducking to avoid a book careening toward his cranium. 

“Get out—Oh… Suehiro… Sorry, I thought you were Saigiku.” You mumble, and he picks up your book and sets it back on the bedside table. Your uniform is rumpled, and your hat has been discarded on the bed beside you. There’s a shattered vase on the floor next to your door. That must’ve been what shattered when he walked by. 

“Hey… Tecchou?” You ask, dropping the last name like you always did when you were alone with him. He felt his heart stutter a bit but ignored it in favor of sitting at your side. 

“What?” He asks gently, and you put your head in your hands. 

“How do you deal with Saigiku? He’s such an…”

“An ass?” He says, and you giggle. Your bright smile lights up Tecchou’s dark world. 

In a world of death and orders, your smile was the only thing keeping him going. 

Even if you were a little rough around the edges. 

[alexanderwales]

I think the worst part of my experience with the internet is when people make bold claims and I say to myself "is that actually true though?" and then, rather than continuing on with my life and letting it lie, I take it upon myself to answer the question to my own satisfaction.

And this is often very difficult and time-consuming, because the thing that's boldly being claimed is complex and nuanced, and there's possibly a grain of truth somewhere that I really would need to go looking for.

I used to have a very Catholic coworker who I'd get in fights with all the time, and he was terrible about providing sources for the things he said, because obviously it was based on an article that had landed in his inbox and it was hard for him to remember all the details, except that he had definitely read it somewhere. So I would take it upon myself to say "okay, what the fuck is this guy talking about" and then eventually I would find the kernel of truth that had led to whatever was in his head. Sometimes this was interesting and worthwhile, but often it was not. On a few occasions, it was just funny/frustrating, because he'd been shared something from the Onion.

(As one example, he had said that Pepsi products contained pieces of aborted fetuses, which was clearly stupid on the face of it. But when I went to go figure out where he'd gotten that from, I learned some stuff about cell lines, and in particular, HEK-293. That cell line comes from the kidney of an aborted (or possibly miscarried) fetus from 1973, and through the magic of biology, became an immortal cell line. This cell line was then used by a company called Senomyx, which had developed a way to test sweetness using them, though so far as I know no one had any proof that they did anything with that particular cell line in association with their partnership with PepsiCo. They certainly weren't putting HEK-293 cells in their drinks. An anti-abortion group then began attempting a boycott of PepsiCo around 2010 on the basis of this partnership, which is how my coworker had wound up repeating to me the claim that Pepsi had aborted fetuses in it. I found this to be a Fun Fact.)

Anyway, tumblr is a particularly bad place for misinformation and bold claims, but today was the first time I failed to stop myself from trying to get some actual sources when someone tossed of a little treat of a fact which did not actually sound true to me. And I didn't even get the answer I was looking for!

It's tangential to this post, but the claim was that sometimes sports were segregated because women were outcompeting men, rather than the reverse. So far as I can find, the answer is "probably false if taken to be anything on the level of a trend", but gymnastics apparently has men and women doing totally different events, and without grabbing a book on the development of gymnastics as a sport, it would be difficult to determine whether the segregation was specifically because men could not compete, rather than some other motive.

The other, more clear-cut example, was mixed skeet shooting, where a woman won a gold medal in the event, then women were barred from competing the next Olympics and a separate women's skeet shooting event was made. Barring other details, this is some sexist bullshit on the part of the International Shooting Union. So I did find evidence of it happening at least once, in a single sport, which was already a sport where women are roughly at parity with men. And if I've found evidence of it happening once, there's a good chance that it's happened more than that. Seems very rare though, and more of a "because sexism" thing rather than "because biological differences". But if I didn't know about that, what else might I not know? Think about what a fool I'd look like if I displayed ignorance of Shan Zhang's 1992 Olympic skeet shooting performance and the subsequent rule change.

The other claim I was trying to track down was "what's the difference in funding for male and female sports, and can we predict how much of an impact that has on performance", which is obviously a fucking huge research question, so I was hoping that someone had done some kind of study that I could read. I don't think there's a bunch of data on how much money is spent on facilities or coaches or whatever, but I was thinking that maybe you could try to find comparable budgets. That would still leave you with some of the social/access/selection problems, but it would at least be something. If the hypothesis was that socialization and funding are the primary reason for the performance gap, we could eliminate at least one of them, and I think there are statistical methods to account for different sample sizes. I was hoping that someone would have done it, or something better than that took an actual knowledge of statistics and sports into account, but apparently not.

FWIW the sports where men and women are at something like parity appear to be those that require endurance, flexibility, or where we wouldn't think there's that much reason your specific body would matter: ultramarathons, equestrian, shooting sports, some archery, and some climbing. It would be weird to me if a difference in funding and engagement and sexism was making a difference in other sports, but not these ones, but I guess I could float some theories if I had to.

I actually do not care that much about these questions, and it gets into a lot of feminist and trans waters that people have strong feelings about, where to me it's just a research issue, trying to find some empirical data. I am including this stuff here mostly for the sake of completeness and because I dislike vagueblogging.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Niffty Redesign! (3/7)

Holy shit was not expecting to finish in the same day much less in like… under 4 hours??? IDK IM HAPPY WITH HER THOUGH!!!!

My biggest inspiration this time was lovebugs and specifically this LPS lovebug

Yes im colour picking Niffty from a littlest pet shop. Who is gonna stop me? Hasbro? They don’t even own LPS anymore!

Im making Niffty a bit tanner because while I see it a lot in other fandoms, I don’t ever see tan asian people in the Hazbin fandom, tbh this place seems like its allergic to melanin in general. There’s also a lot of stigmatisation around POC women in Hazbin like I’ve mentioned before. I plan on having Niffty deal with a decent chunk of stuff later on, a lot of it relating to obessions and romance and learning how to manage feelings like that and keep relationships with other people.

I wanted her socks to be cute but also held up by a garter belt so you can gather she’s got something going on. People seem to stray away from the topic of Niffty and sex or romance because they see her as a child or have infantalised her in some way. Yes ik I talk about this all the time but like GOD it pisses me off.

Her maid dress is actually a much darker shade of hot pink to the point its not really hot pink anymore but it is I promise

Niffty’s main sins are lust, wrath, and envy, seeing as she is a lovebug and also her current backstory is killing a lover out of jealousy. The redder pink parts are supposed to be a mix of lust and wrath so I hope that comes across well?

The same thing can be said about her clothes and all that. With her dress and the reddish hearts it’s supposed to be like “in one sin there’s another” but idk how well I pulled it off. The stitched up heart is also supposed to represent her hopeful/eventually redemption. I’d like to give Niffty more character than just “crazy small lady” so I’ll be trying to balance being somewhat like that with also being a bit sensible. I think it definitely could be done but I have doubts Viv will do much with it.

It really sucks that the POC characters and especially women they just get reduced to one or two traits and then thats it. Viv already is terrible at writing women and I think writing Niffty for her is just boring because, again, she cannot write women. 90% of this rewrite is me saving the women/hj

There will be more indepth Niffty content from me eventually, as of now this is my backbone for her design and overall story. Btw I think her rubber gloves are cute but make really annoying squeaking sounds 24/7. No idea if I’ll pull off another fast design like this, but we shall see!🐐

[mari-lair]

Shit I might want to read this, it looks cute. What is this?

I am assuming you're talking about the manga with a cute art style, the one with this trio, which I love dearly

If so, I am very sorry Anon, my blog is misleading propaganda. None of these three are the protagonists, or even sidekicks to the protagonist, they are either stuck as a gag character for half of the manga, pushed to the side, given an antagonistic role/a role that have a diferent belief from the mcs, or all of the above simultaneously.

This is not their story.

They do eventually get focus, there is a reason I have grown attached to their arcs more than the protagonist's stories, but I am aware most people do not vibe with them. Many actually hate these three. They aren't the heart of this story. If you read this manga, rest assured it won't be for them.

So let me try to give you a more accurate idea of what the story is about without any major spoilers/details.

The manga is called "Toilet Bond Hanako-kun" which is a strange mainstream translation considering "suicide boy Hanako-kun" is the more accurate one. Very different vibes between those two translations, right? That's how the manga feels too, it is a mix of strange and goofy and 'oh, shit got dark'.

The story takes place in a fantasy world where supernaturals and ghosts exist and the trio in the spotlight are these three goofballs!

The red eyed girl is our main protagonist, Yashiro Nene, she is in love with the idea of love, a true hopeless romantic!

She attracts trouble and have a wild imagination, easily getting stuck inside her own fantasies as a form to both find strength and avoid tragedies. She is an insecure but very kind soul with a lot of hope in her heart, but she is not that smart. While she does have her moments, if you dig strategy stories and logical characters this story isn't for you, it's more about whimsy and vibes.

The boy with the cap is the main lead and our titular boy "Hanako." He is a ghost, more specifically a supernatural, which are ghost whose soul got corrupted for staying in our world instead of moving on once they died. He is also the main love interest. A mischievous morally grey spirit with no self-love, no hope, and a lovely mix of being apathetic and caring too much. He is dangerous, selfish, awkward, and possessive and he hates it.

The blond one is Minamoto Kou, an exorcist who never exorcised anything, he is a kind and insecure guy, not very smart logic-wise but his emotional intelligence is surprisingly good (bad habits aside). He is selfless to the point of concern, and starts out determined to be Hanako's eternal enemy but they become besties by accident. He is desperate to help, very determined, very impulsive, very easy to trust. Horrible at being an exorcist.

The friendship between these three is very sweet. You feel like it will be a generic love triangle on their intro but no, they all care about each other. Romance may be a big thing in this manga but this trio are besties.

The humor can be hit or miss, sometimes it's so silly or dry that I love it, but sometimes it's passes my bar and becomes overly exaggerated. Some of the gags just don't land (at least to me), and if you think about the story too much, is not hard to find inconsistencies, but the main sell of this manga is character comflict, which is usually real good, and the supernaturals elements/stories which are the main events of the manga. All the supernatural stories are amazing.

I don't want to spoil the powers and rumors and tragedies but here are some 'vibes' of the supernatural elements.

It is a rollercoaster of cool ideas and vibes and creative ways to explore the wishes and fears of the characters.

A lot changes through the story, this trio won't be the main dynamic forever but it is the heart at the start, and the supernatural stuff is strong during the entire manga! So if the pros sound better than the cons, go check it out!

You can read it: here

[mae-lou-ron]

A Little Kindness, pt. 1

Summary: It’s been a few months since Crosshair and his family returned from Tantiss for the last time. Settling into civilian life hasn’t been easy, but one Pabu resident shows Crosshair some kindness that makes him want to try.

Pairing: Crosshair x fem!Reader

Warnings: social anxiety/awkwardness (aka awkward budding friendship between two traumatized puppies), internal berating, grumpy soft crosshair dealing with ptsd-related stuff but nothing specific, non-descript mentions of injuries treated, fanon typical swearing.

Word Count: 2,400

A/N: thank you to everyone who read A Friend Indeed. I really enjoyed writing the brotherly dynamic between Crosshair and Wrecker in that one. It was honestly an outlet for me to process some of my own stuff, and I appreciate all the encouragement and kind comments. I’m continuing Crosshair’s journey in learning how to heal and even maybe enjoy that Pabu life a little. I’m thinking I’ll make a little anthology series of these because I’ve got a lot of Crosshair fluff cooking up in this goblin lair of a brain. Part 2 to currently underway. A song I listened to quite a bit while writing this was State of the Art by Incubus. Proofread by me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crosshair strode down the sandy path, his eyes periodically scanning the star-studded sky. He inhaled the night air, surprisingly crisp for the island now that the sun had set, giving way for the moon to rise. Its blue-tinted glow bathed the island, ushering in the evening sounds that helped quiet his overactive mind. He would often walk these paths at night, aiming for nowhere in particular, just letting his feet decide where he would go.

As he turned down the path that led to the compound of small homes shared with his family, he heard their voices spilling from open windows. They sounded upbeat and cheerful. The sing-song lilt of Omega's voice suggested someone else was there—a visitor. Crosshair inwardly cringed. Still new to civilian life, he wasn't overly fond of visitors—especially those who showed up unannounced, regardless of their self-proclaimed important reasons.

In situations like this, he couldn't help but notice how his siblings were adapting to life on Pabu much more easily than he was. People had a tendency to baffle him. But the others, Wrecker and Omega especially, seemed to really enjoy getting to know anyone and everyone. As Crosshair got closer, he recognized a voice in the mix of conversation, which nearly made him stop in his tracks.

He exhaled softly, a flush creeping up his neck. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears when he heard your laughter ring out. Why does it have to be her? The thought of walking past the compound and continuing down the hill to the beach was very tempting. He wasn't in the mood for other people right now, least of all you.

It definitely had absolutely nothing to do at all with the fact that he was always putting his foot in his mouth when you were around. You set him on edge like no one he'd met before, though not necessarily in a bad way. He quite liked you actually, but you'd probably never know it from his behavior.

Not to mention your last encounter on his walk a few nights ago. When you called to him from your porch, asking for his help with something out of your reach. He froze, thoughts swirling, and all he could manage to do was scowl despite his desire to assist. He hesitated, realizing it was a task you could likely manage yourself. But you asked, and the look in your eyes had his feet leaving the path and taking the small steps to your patio where you stood on a chair. Though you appeared steady, his hand instinctively hovered near the middle of your back. Maintaining his usual stern expression, he held the awning in place while you secured it.

You thanked him with a warm smile, and without thinking he offered you his arm as you stepped down. You accepted with another gentle smile, your hand resting lightly on his forearm, the warmth from your touch lingering even after you let go. You took a step backwards to admire your work. "That should do," you murmured before turning your attention back to him. "It might be a bit stormy tonight," you added, crossing you arms over your chest. You both glanced up at the clouds that had started filtering into the sky on the horizon. The bright moon made it easy to see them rolling across the water.

"Are you warm enough?" you asked, looking up at him and rubbing your arm as the wind picked up. "I've got some extra tunics or ponchos somewhere in here, if you'd like one… Oh, do you like tea? I just put some on…." You rambled, taking another step back towards your door, offering a welcoming smile. The breeze swirled again and carried the scent of your hair—or perhaps perfume—to Crosshair, and he felt drawn to accept your offer. Yet his apprehension rose, and his "no, thanks" came out quick and terse. He couldn't even recall if you said anything after he retreated, berating himself as he walked away. Before your house disappeared from view, he glanced back over his shoulder, only to find you'd already gone inside, leaving him with another twinge of regret.

But you were here now, and he couldn't really get to his part of their home without being at least noticed by Hunter. Kriff. He swore inwardly and steeled himself for the onslaught of attention that would be cast his way as soon as he crossed the threshold.

"Crosshair! You're back!" Omega rushed over as he appeared in the doorway. His sister beamed up at him, her cheeks flushed and eyes shining with excitement. "How was your walk?"

“It’s too close to bedtime to be getting all wound up, don’t you think?” he said to his sister and glanced at you, who was regarding him warily. Omega rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, pulling him fully into room.

“Nope! But look what we just got!” she smiled, pointing to the table in the near center. You were there standing next to Wrecker with an amused look on your face. Crosshair scowled, gesturing to the pile of neatly folded ponchos on the table before them, one for each of them. "What do we need these for?" He chided himself mentally the moment the words made it past his lips.

"Duh, because it gets cold at night here during some parts of the rotation," Wrecker said matter-of-factly, as if it wasn't something he had just learned a few minutes ago himself. He nudged you gently with his elbow, which made you blush slightly. The exchange made Crosshair's eye twitch. What was wrong with him? He wasn't exactly proud of how your previous encounters had gone, and this one wasn't looking like it would be all that great either, but seeing you react to Wrecker like that… he liked that even less.

"It really does… I… didn't have a whole lot when I came here, but Lyanna brought me a couple of these not too long after. Total lifesaver," you beamed at Omega who was excitedly unfolding one to throw over her head. It had hues of blue and brown fibers threaded together. "They make them right here on the island. It might be a little big on you now but you'll grow into it," you grinned at the young girl as you adjusted the seams at her shoulders, letting the garment fall into place.

"I really like it," Omega smiled, giving a little twirl that made the fabric fan out around her. "Thank you," she added warmly before wrapping one of her arms around you in a half hug.

"Anytime, kiddo," you smiled down at Omega, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before she turned to Wrecker to show him. When you looked up, Crosshair was regarding you with that severe look on his face, like it was actually causing him physical pain to be in your presence. You decided to take your leave, sensing the mood had shifted and not wanting to overstay your welcome.

"Well, I'll leave you all to it, then. I've got an early start tomorrow anyway," you said, your voice light and kind. Their words of thanks met your ears as you retreated towards the door, causing your lips to quirk up in a smile as you walked by Crosshair. However, he swore the spark he saw in your eyes when he first entered the room had dimmed a little. Good job, di'kut.

Crosshair opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but no words came, instead he just gave you a tense nod of his head before looking at the floor.

"Goodnight, everyone," you said softly before closing the door behind you with a gentle click.

“Way to kill the fun, Crosshair,” Wrecker teased after a long moment, roughing his brother’s shoulder as he walked past him into the kitchen, shooting a wink at Omega.

A heavy silence settled over the room. Without looking up, Crosshair knew Omega and Hunter were staring at him, their arms undoubtedly crossed and their faces wearing that annoyingly stern expression. Great. It meant they were about to gang up on him.

"Crosshair..." Omega said with a gentle reproach only she could get away with. He still hated it, though. "The people here are kind. She's just trying to help us feel at home. She understands what it's like, remember?”

Crosshair set his jaw, struggling to untangle the swirl of self-doubt and self-deprecation in his mind. "I know that," he said softly, fully aware that you, too, had sought refuge on Pabu to escape the Empire not all that long ago.

"I also think she likes you,” Omega whispered conspiratorially. “Like actually likes you…"

"I can't imagine why…" Hunter muttered, leaning into the doorframe. Crosshair narrowed his eyes at him in return, taking a wooden pick from his pocket and placing it delicately between his teeth. “You act like she’s a thermal detonator or something,” Hunter rumbled, smirking.

Omega rolled her eyes and glared at Hunter before turning back to Crosshair, whose expression only continued to sour the longer he was being put on the spot. "Don't listen to him," Omega insisted, but Hunter's words gnawed at the part of Crosshair's mind that had already questioned the same thing. Yet, Omega saw through his trademark scowl, regarding him with affection and gentle reproach.

Crosshair sighed, eyes softening as they returned to Omega. He still couldn't pinpoint the exact moment this kid had wrapped him around her finger, but glancing at Hunter's face, he knew his brother shared the same thought. Crosshair rubbed the back of his neck, shifting his toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other. Hunter's eyes simply darted between the two of them—no words were necessary.

After a long pause, Crosshair huffed, "Fine—I'll… go talk to her." He winced at the thought. "What do I even say?" he said to the room, his jaw tight, shoulders slumping slightly at the discomforting thought.

"Well—I think you might like her too, Crosshair…" Omega offered gently, "…so maybe start with something simple like 'thank you for the new clothes' or 'I'm sorry for being such a cold wet blanke—'" Hunter coughed to interrupt her, and his chuckling.

"Going," Crosshair held his arms up in surrender, slinking towards the door you had just exited a few moments ago.

"Cross," Hunter said as he followed him to the door, handing him a dark green one from the pile. Silent communication passed between the brothers. Crosshair eventually nodded and slipped the soft material over his head, adjusting it to drape evenly over his shoulders.

It was pretty comfortable, he had to admit.

The scents Crosshair had grown to associate with you still lingered on the fabric—warm and spicy but soft with a hint of something like chamomile. He took a deep breath, allowing it to hang on the end of his senses, pulling up fleeting images of you in his mind that gave him a strange fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

You were one of the first people here to show him genuine kindness. A series of gestures from you that had actually quite startled him at the time.

He could still recall every detail of that first encounter months ago. The landing pad on Pabu bustled with medically inclined residents and clone troopers as they returned from Tantiss. Your welcoming smile and guarded eyes greeted him as you offered your arm to help him onto an awaiting cot; he didn't take it, but you held it there nonetheless. Panic suddenly rose in his throat at losing sight of his siblings, but it subsided when he spotted Omega and Emerie tending to Wrecker nearby—who was indeed badly injured. Only after Echo lowered Hunter into the adjacent cot did Crosshair warily allow you to examine his injuries. You seemed to understand his hesitance, asked for his name, told him yours, carefully explaining each step and always seeking his permission before proceeding—a gesture that was both deeply appreciated and deeply unfamiliar to him.

Since then, he's been struggling to find a way to show his gratitude for that moment, and all of your unexpected kindness after. Every time he tried, the words caught in his throat—nothing he could think of seemed adequate enough to express it. Parsing through the complexity of his feelings often made it difficult for him to speak. He found himself caught between wanting to open up and his instinct to maintain distance. Crosshair knew he needed to find a way to bridge this gap, but he had no idea how. And the idea of being hit with any sort of rejection from you also gnawed at him.

"You look great," Omega grinned up at him, shaking him from his thoughts. Hunter gave him an encouraging clap on the shoulder before pushing Crosshair back into the crisp evening air.

The air was more comfortable now with the added layer. The gentle breeze that wove its way through the streets and staircases gently tugged on the fabric as he walked. Looking at it more closely, it was different shades of green, and like Omega's, it was woven into a pattern that blurred one color into the next. He trudged the path to your neighborhood—lost in thought, wracking his brain for what he was going to say.

But when he arrived, the house was dark—it seemed you weren’t home.

Crosshair hesitated, contemplating his options. He brought his hand to the door but decided against knocking. He considered leaving a note but dismissed the idea quickly, as he had nothing to write with. He had no idea what he'd put down anyway. With a frustrated sigh, he turned and began walking aimlessly down the winding path.

Reluctant to return home immediately, Crosshair continued to where the houses grew sparse, eventually discovering sprawling patches of wildflowers. He vaulted over a crumbling stone wall and gathered a handful of blooms in various types and colors. As he walked back, he bundled the vibrant flowers as best he could, using his teeth and a loose thread from the poncho's hem. Upon returning to your door, he gently placed the makeshift bouquet on the chair you'd climbed onto the other night.

As he took a few steps back, he could only hope this small gesture might convey his intent better than any fumbling words he could muster right now. With a quiet hum, he finally turned and walked back towards home. Maybe he'd figure out what to say by the time he saw you again.

[once-upon-an-imagine]

You Keep Me Hangin' On - Steve Harrington

A/N: sooo, apparently it worked 😂😂😂 thank you to everyone who voted, I might keep this up since it helps me focus on a specific story😊 I mixed three different requests here so I really hope it makes sense, this one is mostly angsty but I am planning on a part two, so let me know what you think  

Requests - dawninparis​ asked: is this how you request something? i don’t know i’m a bit new to all this 😳 anyway i saw you were accepting st request so i was thinking maybe steve and reader are in an established relationship but with all the stuff happening in s4 and reader not being aware of all the supernatural stuff she gets jealous of all the time he spends with nancy and the fact he is hiding everything from you just to protect you and just basically a lot of angst (bc i like to suffer) and ending however u like even tho my heart is easily broken with sad endings 

- Anonymous asked: I would like to request a Steve story that takes place in season 4 where him and reader are dating already. Reader has noticed how awkward he has been around Nancy and vice versa. How they’ve been talking a lot more (good thing Eddie was there to keep them company😉). [full request here]  

- Anonymous asked: Hello babes, I'm not sure if you want to write this but may I request for a Steve Harrington angst to fluff fic? Haha! I just want to torture myself again with all these angsty stories. Somewhere around, reader is pining for steve and thought that she have a chance with steve but the latter thought that maybe he's still not over nancy. Reader felt hurt / embarassed by this and decided to date someone else, when she did steve realizes that she's the one that his heart has been longing for the whole time and not nancy. Thanks

Warnings: pretty angsty and Steve is kind of an asshole but also a jealous asshole xD and Jason (he deserves his own warning) let me know if I missed anything 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Things :) gif isn’t mine :D  

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You Keep Me Hangin’ On

Set me free why don't you, babe Get out my life why don't you, babe 'Cause you don't really love me You just keep me hangin' on

You had known for a long time now. You had just, for some reason, held on to a stupid little hope that kept you hanging to this stupid little crush. Although it wasn't that little. And that voice in your head that kept you hanging sounded an awful lot like Robin insisting that Steve felt the same way you did.

You tried to believe her. You really did. Steve was very caring and affectionate towards you. You remembered the first time you drove him home, drunk, and he asked you to stay with him. And you did. And he said it felt nice to not wake up alone. And then, it became a natural thing between the two of you. He would call you whenever he needed you. And you would call him whenever you needed him. And he showed up. He always showed up. Which made you believe Robin when she said he felt the same way you did. But neither of you spoke about it. You hugged. You kissed. You did more than kiss. You couldn't imagine your life without him. But you weren't entirely sure if he could do the same. You feared that he could. He could live without you.

And right now, it was more evident than ever. You instantly dove into the water when he was pulled back into the lake. You pulled the bats off him and fought them with whatever you could find before Nancy, Robin, and Eddie also appeared to help. You were about to help him stop the bleeding right before Nancy ripped off the bottom of her blouse and started patching him up. And you saw it. You saw the way Steve looked at her.

"You're bleeding" you were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard Eddie by your side.

"Huh?" you asked, confused.

"Your arm" he pointed out. "It's bleeding" he repeated and you looked down to see that he was right. You hadn't even noticed. You were bleeding. Badly.

"Holy shit!" you panicked a little, not really knowing what to do.

"Here" he said, gently grabbing your hand and taking the black bandana out of his back pocket.

"Oh, I don't want to stain your bandana. I know that's your favorite one" you told him, not really noticing the smile that appeared on his face when you did.

"Don't be ridiculous, princess. It's just a piece of fabric" he insisted, grabbing your hand and cleaning your wound gently. You lifted your head from your arm to watch Eddie as he worked on tightening his bandana around you. You found yourself smiling a little at how careful he was being. He did not seem like the loud, careless guy you always saw in school. "How's that? Is it too tight?" he asked, worriedly.

"N-no. That's perfect" you smiled. "Thank you, Eddie" you told him.

"You know, it was pretty badass, w-what you did" he chuckled.

"It was?" you asked, feeling a little nervous for some reason. You never really thought of yourself as badass enough to get that credit from Eddie Munson, who you considered to be one of the most badass people you knew.

"Yeah, I mean, jumping in the lake and fighting those bats. That was metal, princess" he smirked.

"You also jumped in the lake and fought those bats, Eddie" you reminded him.

"Yeah, but after all of you ladies did" he insisted.

"Well, you still did" you told him. "And that says a lot" you smiled.

"So, uh" Eddie cleared his throat, pulling away from you a little. "This place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?"

"Yeah, pretty much" you nodded.

"Wait, watch out for the vines" Nancy said as Robin started walking around. "It's all a hive mind" she explained.

"It's all a what?" Robin asked.

"All the creepy crawlies around here" you told her. "They're, like, one or something" you told her. "Step on a vine, you're stepping on a bat" you instructed. "You're stepping on Vecna" you finished.

"Shit" Eddie said, next to you.

"But everything from our world is still here, right? Except people?" Robin asked.

"As far as I understand it, yeah" Steve said.

"So, theoretically, we could go to the police station and steal guns and grenades and whatever we need to blow up those bat things that are guarding the gate" Robin suggested.

"I highly doubt the Hawkins PD has grenades, Robin" you told her. "But guns, yeah, sure."

"Well, we don't have to go all the way downtown for guns" Nancy added and everyone looked at her. "I have guns in my bedroom" she shrugged.

"You, Nancy Wheeler" Eddie started. "...have guns, plural, in your bedroom?"

"Full of surprises, isn't she?" Robin asked, excitedly.

"A Russian Makarov and a revolver" Nancy explained.

"Yeah, you almost shot me with that one" Steve said.

"You almost deserved it" Nancy smirked back at him.

You tried to hide your upset expression but Eddie seemed to notice before he threw his jean vest at Steve and he glared back at him a little.

"For your modesty, dude" he said, making Steve roll his eyes before putting it on.

"Hey, are you okay?" Steve asked, walking closer to you.

"I'm fine" you said with a firm smile.

"Did you hurt yourself?" he questioned, looking at your arm.

"Yeah, but don't worry. Eddie fixed it" you told him.

"Oh" Steve said, not entirely loving that part. "O-okay" he sighed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a scratch" he said, trying to make you laugh.

You barely smiled before you followed Eddie and Robin who were climbing on trees and rocks, careful not to step on the vines. When Robin accidentally stepped on a vine, the five of you felt the Earth moving under you when an earthquake happened. Your instinct almost made you run to Steve, but you saw he quickly grabbed Nancy, who was closer to him, and he pulled her to his side. You couldn't even register the whole thing before you felt two arms grabbing you and making you fall to the ground with him as you felt Eddie's arms tighten around you.

"Holy shit!" you heard Robin, not so far from you.

"So guns seem like a pretty good idea to me" Eddie said.

"Yeah, me too" you said, feeling your cheeks burn a little at how close you were to the metalhead and not noticing a pair of eyes glaring your way. "Uh- um" you cleared your throat. "Thanks" you smiled shyly.

"Don't mention it, princess" he said, helping you up.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

As the five of you walked to the Wheeler's house, Steve could barely register what Nancy was telling him. His eyes were glued to Robin, you, and Eddie walking ahead of them. Specifically between you and Eddie Munson. He noticed he was trying to make you laugh because he could see the worried look on your face. And the worst part was that he was succeeding. He didn't like the feeling he got whenever you laughed at something Eddie Munson said. He didn't like that you had his bandana on your arm. He didn't like that he was walking a little too close to you and the worst part was when he saw his hand trying to reach for yours.

"Uh, yeah, Nance, hold on a second" he said, not even trying to understand what she was talking about as he ran over to the trio in front of him.

"Hey, Eddie" Steve said, catching up with you. "Uh, could I... talk to you?" he asked, making Eddie look at you a little confused. You simply shrugged and Robin pulled you away to go join Nancy instead, leaving the two boys behind.

"What's up, Harrington?"

"Hey, man. Uh... Listen, I just, uh... I just want to say thanks. For saving my ass back there" he smiled.

"Shit. You saved your own ass, man" Eddie told him. "I mean, that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there!"

"Ozzy?"

"When you took a bite out of that bat. Ozzy Osbourne? Black Sabbath? He bit a bat's head off onstage" he explained as Steve looked at him confused.

"I don't-"

"You know? Doesn't matter" he shrugged. "It's very metal, what you did. That's all I'm saying" he told him.

"Thanks" Steve smiled.

"Henderson told me you were a badass. Insisted on the matter, in fact" he explained.

"Henderson said that?"

"Oh yeah" Eddie nodded.

"Shit!"

"Kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea. It's kinda annoying, to be honest" he mocked Steve. "I don't even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, but, uh, guess I got a little jealous, Steve" he smirked. "I guess I couldn't accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. Rich parents, popular, chicks love him. Not a douche? No way, man. No way" he chuckled. "That, like, flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine" he explained, making Steve laugh and roll his eyes a little. "Still super jealous as hell, by the way. Which is why I would never have jumped in that lake to save your ass. Not under any, uh... normal circumstances. Nope. Outside of D&D, I am no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run. Or at least that's what I've learned about myself this week" he muttered the last part.

"Give yourself a break, man" Steve insisted.

"See? The only reason I came in here was 'cause those ladies came in straight after you. Now, I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind" he explained. "But, your girl, right there" Eddie said, pointing at you, walking ahead of them. "She didn't waste a second. Not one second. She just dove right in" he told Steve as they stopped walking for a moment and Steve looked at you while you walked with Robin. "Now, I don't know what's going on or what happened between you two, but if I were you, I would not take her for granted, man. 'Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen" he told her. "And if you let her go, someone else might not be so stupid" he informed him.

"Are you talking about... someone in specific?" Steve asked, glaring a little at him.

"Maybe" Eddie shrugged, patting his back. "I'm just saying, Harrington. Don't be the douche I always thought you were" he said before he walked away from Steve.

As soon as you all got to Nancy's place, she, Robin, and Eddie started making their way upstairs. You were about to follow them when Steve gently pulled you back.

"Hey" Steve said, smiling nervously at you, a few steps down. "Uh- I just... um, I wanted to ask if uh-" he said, running a hand through his hair as he always did when he was nervous. "If w-we're okay? I mean, are you- uh are you feeling okay?"

"Are you?" you asked, a little confused.

"No- yeah, uh I'm fine" he sighed. "I just wanted to check if you were also... fine?"

"I'm fine" you said with a firm smile before you turned around and you tried going upstairs but Steve stopped you again.

"It's just um... you got hurt" he said, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb as he looked at the bandana wrapped around your arm.

"So did you" you told him. "And I think yours is... much worse" you said, looking at Nancy's blouse wrapped around him.

"No, it's fine" he insisted.

"Great. So, you're fine. I'm fine. We're both..." you sighed. "Just fine" you said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, frowning.

"Uh- nothing" you quickly said. "We should... get up there-"

"No, what did you mean by that?"

"Steve, this isn't the time or the place-"

"But you're upset!"

"No, I'm not, I just told you, everything is fine!" you insisted.

"Really? So, if everything is fine, why are you spending so much time with Munson?" Steve asked, accusingly.

"Ohh, you noticed that? I figured you'd be too busy with Nancy to even pay attention to anyone else!" you replied.

"Wait, is that what this is about?"

"No! I didn't mean to ugh-! Just... forget about it, okay? We have bigger things to-"

"Shhh!" he shushed you, holding up his finger.

"Um, excuse me?"

"Did you hear that?" he asked, looking the other way and walking away from you.

"Hear what?"

"Henderson!" he said, walking around the empty room.

"Well, it finally happened. He snapped" you muttered under your breath.

"HENDERSON!"

"What's going on?" Nancy asked, walking over to you with Robin, and Eddie.

"I don't know. He thinks he can hear Dustin-"

"I don't think! I can hear him! HENDERSON!"

And then, you heard it.

"Oh, my God! DUSTIN!"

"There has to be a way for them to hear us!" Eddie insisted as the five of you tried to look around the room.

"Wasn't there a way that Will communicated with Joyce when he was here?" Steve asked you, pointing his flashlight at the light in the middle of the living room.

"THE LIGHTS!"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Robin, for the fifteenth time, I'm okay" you replied as you two tried to grab anything you could use at the War Zone.

"It's just that you and Steve have barely spoken since-"

"Since he decided to stay back at the UpsideDown because Nancy was cursed by Vecna and he now refuses to leave her side?" you snapped a little. "Sorry" you sighed. "There's just... a lot going on right now" you told her.

"I know that, but... well, you and Eddie on the other hand-"

"What?" you asked, confused.

"Come on, you can't tell me that there's nothing there-" she chuckled.

"There's literally nothing there" you laughed. "I don't think Eddie likes me that way" you rolled your eyes.

"Do you like him that way?" she asked, curiously.

"N-no" you said, nervously. "I don't know. Like I said, there's too much going on right now. And Eddie has been nice to me. He's always nice to me and... I don't know this isn't the time to focus on stupid guys, okay?"

"Love, it's never the time to focus on stupid boys" she laughed, making you laugh a little too but she quickly stopped when she spotted Vickie on the other side of the War Zone with her boyfriend.

"Rob" you said, feeling sorry and placing your hand on her arm.

"Have you ever felt like someone just ripped out your heart?" she asked, looking back at you.

You smiled sadly at her and then looked past her. "Yeah, I... have an idea" you said silently and she followed your stare to see Steve laughing with Nancy at something she had said. "Aw, well that's fun for me" you smiled, sarcastically. "I'm gonna go over there, okay?" you quickly said, walking away from Robin as she rolled her eyes and walked over to Steve, punching his arm.

"Ouch! What the hell, Buckley?!"

"Well, I wouldn't expect to find you here" you turned around hearing that dreadful voice.

"J-Jason" you said, nervously. "Yeah, well, it's just... scary times" you smiled. "Uh- I'm... sorry about Chrissy" you told him.

"Want my advice?" he asked, getting closer to you. "Shotguns are not good for much of anything past killing small birds" he said. "I mean, they got power, sure, but not much range" he said, as you stepped backwards, creating space between the two of you but he got even closer. "And that's just gonna force you into close-range combat, then someone can just grab that barrel like this..." he said, grabbing the weapon from you. "...and redirect it" he said, smiling, making you feel uneasy. "Well, you look nervous" he chuckled.

"Uh -like I said" you tried to smile. "Scary times" you told him. "Could you let go, please?"

"Sorry?"

"She said 'let go'" you heard Steve behind you and you let out a sigh of relief.

"Harrington" he said, letting go of the gun. "Didn't see you there" he said, stepping away.

"Well, now you do so..." Steve said, nodding his head so he would take the hint.

"Lovely seeing you" Jason said, before turning to look back at you.

"Hey, you okay-?"

"We need to go, now" you said, grabbing his hand.

"But-"

"But nothing" you said, pulling him with you. "Eddie's outside" you whispered.

"Right" Steve muttered a bit upset. Munson.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Hey" you were snapped out of your thoughts when Eddie sat down on the grass, next to you.

"Hi" you smiled.

"So... I guess this is a dumb question but... how are you feeling?"

"Funny, I was just going to ask you the same thing" you smiled.

"Me? I'm having the time of my life, princess. Are you kidding me? We're about to go to the UpsideDown and fight for our lives, really... it's where I pictured my life at this point, he chuckled, making you laugh a little.

"You know, you don't have to do this, Eddie" you insisted.

"Are you trying to rob me of my hero arc, princess?" he said, making you laugh, which you didn't know how was possible with how anxious you were feeling. "I was just going to tell you the same thing" he told you.

"It's just... you've been through a lot in like... what, 48 hours?"

"Yeah, it's been intense but... well, you being here kinda makes it better" he admitted.

"It does?" you asked, feeling your cheeks burn.

"Yeah" he insisted. "I mean, if... it were up to me, I wouldn't want the situation of us hanging out to be in a creepy world fighting this... monster but... I guess it's pretty badass" he chuckled.

"Well, if it involves you I would assume it would have to be badass" you smiled, making him blush a little. "So... if it were up to you... what would the situation be? U-us hanging out?"

"Well- uh-"

"Hey, Munson!" Steve said, suddenly appearing and interrupting the two of you. "Um... Henderson's asking for you" he said.

"Um- sure" Eddie said, looking back at you. "Sorry, princess. Raincheck?"

"Sure" you smiled as he got up and he helped you up too. "See you in a bit" you told him before Steve replaced his place.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" you asked, confused.

"You and Munson?"

"We were just talking" you shrugged.

"Is there something going on between the two of you?"

"What? What are you talking about, Steve?"

"I just find it interesting that every time I look at you he just happens to be there" he said, glaring at you a little.

"Well, maybe we were just talking about our part of the plan, since you made me stay back with him and Dustin!"

"I knew you were upset about that! Nancy and I just decided this was the best way to make the teams!"

"Oh, what a lovely coincidence that you get to go with Nancy!"

"And Robin!" he added. "Why does that make you so upset? Because you don't get to come and physically kill Vecna with us? I need you to stay back with Eddie and Dustin!"

"Why? Because you don't trust me as much as Nancy!? You don't-" you stopped yourself before you could say 'You don't love me as much as you love Nancy'.

"Nancy knows what she's doing!"

"Oh, and I don't? We were all down there, Steve! And in case you didn't notice, I was the first one to jump when you were dragged back into that lake! Not Nancy! I am just as capable as she is-!"

"I didn't say you weren't but I just..." he sighed, running a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I need you to stay back with Dustin and Eddie okay?"

"Fine!" you said, reluctantly. "I can't do this anymore Steve" you sighed.

"Sweetheart, I know it'll be hard, but we have this plan and-"

"No, not that! This!" you said pointing at him and yourself. "I am tired of just being your option when Nancy is not around!"

"That's not true and this isn't the time to-"

"Right... it's never the time" you sighed.

"Well, not when we're about to go face Vecna in the fucking UpsideDown!"

"You're going to face Vecna with Nancy and Robin! I'm staying back with Eddie and Dustin!"

"That's not how it is!"

"Yes, it is! That's the plan that you two came up with! Together!"

"Look, what do you want from me? It made more sense this way!"

"Just admit that you still have feelings for Nancy and be done with it so I can just... I don't know, move on!"

"M-move on? From us?"

"There is no us, Steve! Is there?"

"Why would you say that?"

"I don't know, Steve! I'm tired! I'm tired and I can't do this anymore! It's not fair!"

"Ugh! I'm not trying to make you feel like this on purpose! I don't have feelings for Nancy, okay? Why does everyone think that I still have feelings for Nancy?"

"Oh, really? Everyone thinks so? So, I'm not the only one then!" you said, feeling your heart starting to break.

"No! I didn't mean it like that! Nancy is my friend! Okay! That is it! I care about her and I don't want her to die!"

"Nobody wants her to die, Steve! But you keep following her around like a lost puppy-!"

"How would you even know since you decided to stay with Munson every chance you get?! I can't believe you're being this dramatic over Nancy. SHE'S MY FRIEND!" he snapped. "Look, I don't want to fight with you, we are all on edge, and... I just... I need to do this, and I need you to stay with Dustin and Munson!"

"I don't want to fight with you either, Steve, and I know this is probably the worst possible time, I just-"

"Hey, guys!" Dustin shouted, interrupting you. "Time to go!"

Steve sighed, tiredly and looked back at you, not really knowing what else to say, so you did.

"You know what? You're right, we have more important things to deal with right now" you smiled with tears in your eyes and you placed your hand on his arm. You were about to follow Dustin but Steve pulled you back, pulling your hand.

"Listen, I care about Nancy, yes. Of course, I do. But, I swear, she's just my friend" he told you. "And I care about you too. I do, a lot" he said, nervously. But something wasn't letting you believe him anymore.

"As a friend?" you asked, with your voice breaking a little.

"It's... complicated" he said, making your heart break into little pieces. "And I swear we'll talk about it, after this, I just-" he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Something was telling you that he would never love you as he did Nancy. That little voice was becoming louder than Robin's telling you he loved you just as you loved him. And you felt your eyes watering. And you knew he could see it, but he didn't say anything. Because you knew time was running out and you had to follow Dustin. So you just smiled sadly at Steve and cupped his cheek with your hand.

"I love you, Steve" you whispered, having the strangest feeling in your heart that this may be the only chance you would get to tell him this, so you kissed his cheek. Like you always did and you gave him the saddest smile Steve had ever seen on someone. "And I really hope you get her back someday."

To Be Continued

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

[Part 2] 

A/N: sooo, I am definitely not evil enough to just leave it there :D this is definitely going to have a part two... so let me know what you think xD (and also, who you think she should stay with)