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thatone-brightstar · 2 years ago

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The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 4: Bring a fox to a bear fight

Words: 8.7k (wft?!?)

Summary: Tensions with Carmy finally snap.

a/n: In honor of a new poster and release date for season 2, here's chapter 4! Hope you enjoy! xx P.S. There will be some spanish in this but if you're a 'no sabo kid' you can shamelessly use google translate❤️

WARNING: Smut ahead, masturbation, p in v unprotected sex (birth control is mentioned), minors DNI but you'll do what you want so don't say I didn't warn you

You felt it before even opening your eyes. The growing migraine had settled camp between your brows while you slept and his companion, an uneasy stomach, had you crawling out of bed and into the nearest bathroom to dispose of the undigested contents of last night. You ungracefully swatted your hair out of the way with half your head inside the bowl when a shadow stood by the door you had forgotten to close in the rush of the moment.

“Ay, mira que bonito!” You heard your mother’s taunting voice above you. “You had fun last night, mija?” She said in a fake sweetness, one hand rubbing over your heaving back as your stomach spewed itself into the porcelain.

The torture stopped long enough for you to look up at her through narrow slits, then feeling the acid crawl its way back up again.

“Isn’t this punishment enough?” You managed to say through a sore throat, spitting the last bit of red saliva inside and flushing. ‘Fuckin’ daiquiris’

You stood on wobbly knees from the cold tiled floor and rested your face against the wall by the door, your mother staring amused.

“No, those are just consequences, mi amor.” She smirked, reaching to caress your cheek, but stopped midway in distaste when she saw little remains of spit across it. “Maybe when you're clean.”

A soft sneer curled on your lips and you made a kiss motion at her.

“C’mon mami, gimme a kiss” You teased, leaning forward.

She took a step back as you took one towards her, reaching to pull at her hands. Her head shook in laughter as she stepped deeper in your room and tossed the towel hanging on the wall directly to your head. It fell with a ‘thunk’ to the ground and your vision blurred slightly while leaning down to pick it up.

“Take a shower, you smell like shit.” Your mother said on her way out the door. “And grandpa made breakfast!” She yelled from the hallway and the volume had your head pounding with heavy fists at your temples.

With sluggish movements, trying to not upset your already ruined digestion, you moved to your closet for a fresh set of clothes, then to your bed to wake up Syd. You found the space empty and wondered how she had gotten up without waking you, considering you were a light sleeper, but too much thinking made your head hurt so you left it to a mystery.

The bright rays of sunshine filtering through the open bathroom window usually appealed as lovely to your houseplant soul, however as you undressed to shower with a permanent scowl, the soft light burnt a hole through your tired retinas. You dragged yourself inside and as soon as the warm water hit your skin, you sighed in relief. There was nothing a warm shower couldn’t cure.

As you mechanically went through your routine, you assessed the events of the night before and the crater in your chest hollowed all over again. A few salty tears that mixed with the rosemary and lavender shampoo ran down the drain. Despite coming to terms with yourself that you’d solve everything that same day, the small voice in the back of your head nagged that ‘he probably didn’t even wanna see you, anyway’. You took a few calming breaths under the stream and pictured the perfect scenario to counter rest the dark thoughts swarming your unprotected psyche.

You’d show up to work as always, hopefully less hungover than you were feeling, and ask him to talk in his office. You’d tell him you were an asshole for hurting him and that you wanted nothing more than exactly what he was offering. You’d bicker back and forth for a while, but ultimately it would end precisely how it should have the night before, in a sweet sweet overdue kiss. You’d maybe even get to fulfill one of the many fantasies that flooded your head when he caressed your face in the small barely lit room.

Your breath hitched at the sudden change in direction your mind was taking you in. Behind closed lids, your consciousness had painted a promising picture of blown irises and tangled locks moving in a rhythmic tempo against you. His pearly skin was tainted carmine from the effort it took to contain himself as he slammed repeatedly into you; trained fingers digging into the sensitive skin of your upper thighs while he held you in place over the disheveled desk. Only the sound of shaky breaths and whispered praises filled the room while he confessed just how good you felt panting underneath him.

The vision in your head felt so real to your body, that your pulse had started racing and it had your cunt squeezing around nothing in frustration. A delicate hand slid down past your navel and a sigh of relief left your shaky lips at the sudden contact of your cold finger tips. You used the clear image in your head to aid the pulsing in between your folds, massaging at an equal pace to your vision. You pictured the veins in his arms, tensed with force, one hand holding you down while the other wrapped around your fragile throat and pulled you into a heated kiss. You felt the vibration from his groan travel down your trachea and straight into the speed of your fingers. Your knees quivered at the thought of his messy kisses down your neck, followed by shaky breaths of barely contained moans, your hands clawing at the skin of his back trying to press his chest closer to yours. All it took was the image of Carmy pulling your legs around his waist with force and burying his face in your neck, pounding ruthlessly against your skin before a strangled sigh left his mouth as he came, painting your insides white.

The force of a relieving orgasm knocked the strength off your knees and you used your other hand to lean on the chill tile, the stark contrast in temperature running chills along your sensitive skin. You took a couple calming breaths until your thighs recovered their strength and the once persistent headache had finally subsided. You finished showering with newfound energy.

Dressed and feeling surprisingly less shitty than expected, you walked out into the kitchen drying your hair and enticed by the smell of sausages. You rounded the island where your grandpa stood wearing a ‘kiss the chef’ apron and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He handed you a plate of food with a smile and you thanked him then served yourself from the half empty coffee pot. Syd and your mom were having a lively conversation about where she had learned her great spanish as you silently finished your eggs and sausage, not wanting to add to the already noisy ambiance in the small area. Soft guitar strings played from somewhere in the living room, merging with the soft chirping of birds outside the tall windows that illuminated the room in a golden hue.

As you took a sip of your coffee leaning on the bar, your mother asked Syd if you had already invited the guys from work to your grandpa's 76th birthday next week. Your eyes grew wide in realization, only then did you remember that she had asked you to do it at least two weeks ago and you had not thought about it since. When she said no, your mother turned to you with a glare hidden behind a smile. You swallowed the bitter liquid and lowered your cup.

“I.. was getting around to it.” You confessed turning slowly and taking your empty plate to the sink behind you.

“What did I tell you, eh?” She began scolding you, “I told you ‘do it today before you forget’ and see? You forgot!”

You finished washing your dirty plate with your back to her and rolled your eyes.

“I’ll tell them today, I promise!” You told her, drying your hands on the gingerbread man dishcloth that had been out since last Christmas.

She gave you a long ‘Mhmm’ with crossed arms, eyed you with a scowl then rolled her eyes. “You better! I already told your tia Angie to add an extra ten people for the food, I don’t want anything to go to waste, okay?!” She continued as you rounded up your work bag from the couch and signaled for Sydney to hurry up.

She swallowed the last of her breakfast, slid from the stool and walked to the sink where she was about to wash her plate, but your grandfather took it from her hands and shook his head ‘Guest’ he said and pointed to her. She smiled with a ‘Gracias’ then ran to your room to get her things.

“Yes, I know. I’ll do it today.” You finished, walking over to both of them and giving them a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

Your mother grunted slightly but turned her cheek towards you.

“Oh! And invite that Carmy boy,” She said and your stomach churned. “He seems nice, no?” She whispered and scrunched up her nose at you.

“Syd let’s go!” You yelled ignoring her and walked into the hallway where your jacket hung.

“Thank you for breakfast, bye!” She called out to your family and followed you out the door. “Your mom told me that was your setup in the living room?”

You looked at her confused then remembered the half finished painting surrounded by empty paint tubes and drying brushes. The events from the day before made it seem like it had spent an eternity sitting to dry.

“Yeah, I like painting. Helps with my anxiety” You shrugged.

Sydney answered with a simple nod as you kept walking down the stairs. She reached up to massage her chin at the memory of tripping over the same steps a couple hours ago and a wave of laughter invaded you both as you made the rest of the way down.

You reached The Beef with a building worry. The plan to solve things with Carmy wasn’t as much a plan as it was an idea, and a vague one at that. You figured you had the whole train ride to come up with something, but it was mostly spent controlling your breath and trying not to puke all over the already sticky floors. So as Syd and you walked through the back entrance, unprepared and slightly nauseous, a stabbing sensation pierced your chest at the sight of an unruly head lifting up to meet your eyes.

The knot in your throat obstructed any possible passage of air and you stayed locked in place, grounded by the weight of his gaze.

“I think I’m gonna be sick again.” You whispered to Syd when you were no longer being observed by heavy pools of aquamarine.

He brought his attention back to mixing the dry ingredients for the rub on the beef, but you could tell his back had grown slightly more tense than usual. You passed beside him to the check in clock, muttering a ‘Mornin’ that he answered with a ‘G’Mornin’ chefs’, plural. Sydney shot a sympathetic look at you before moving to her area, lacking motivation. You debated whether to rip the band aid off now or wait until the end of the day, but knowing your impatient nature you knew the shift would be worse if you did nothing now.

“Uhm, Carmy?” Your voice sounded unsure, his fingers twitched slightly at the sound of it.

“Yes, chef.” He answered, mixing all the ingredients thoroughly in a bowl.

“Do you think we can talk?” You cracked your knuckles at your sides, waiting impatiently for his answer.

He looked at you for a millisecond, without bothering to raise his head completely, then moved to the hallway that led to the walk in.

“There’s nothin’ to talk about chef, we're good.” ‘Okay, so not even on a first name basis’ you thought.

You followed close behind and carelessly threw your things into the office floor, then catched the heavy metal door before it slammed shut behind him.

“Yeah you said that, but I feel like we’re not.” The force of the door shutting behind you pushed you fully inside and you were thankful for the cold climate drying your sweaty hands.

He had his back towards you as he rummaged through the stock long enough for it to be obvious that he was trying to avoid you. You fiddled with your fingers in anticipation, waiting for a word or a look, anything that signaled the start of a conversation.

“We are.” He answered, shooting you a brief over the shoulder glance then back to the rack.

You took in a deep breath and began. “Look, I’m sorry for what I said last nig-” He interrupted with a stern call of your name, hands leaning heavily against the shelf.

“-Chef, please,” He corrected, as if the simple syllables of your name physically hurt him to pronounce. His voice was low but authoritative. “If I say we’re good, then we’re good. Alright?”

“Yes.” You muttered, doing your best to swallow your heart back south into your chest.

“Yes, what?” He paused halfway in a turn, pulling a metal escoffier with the day's beef.

“Yes, chef.” You said through gritted teeth, irritated eyes locked into his.

His stare lingered on you for a moment longer, the tendon on the side on his neck tensed, then he lifted the heavy container and walked right past you, out the small room. You stayed a few moments longer inside, letting the chill air from the vents hit your overheated face and regulate your breath. With a final inhale, you pushed your way out to face the long day with an upset stomach and a beaten up chest.

**********

“I already fuckin’ told you how, Richard,” You spat angerly at him, the migraine in your head growing by the minute. “It’s not rocket science!”

It was the third time that day that he asked you for help because the tablet would go all crazy on him, that was two more than any regular day and you would be happy to explain how his grease covered fingers were the fucking problem, if it weren't for the massive headache that had you on a chokehold since the moment Tina opened the front door.

“Alright, geez! No need to throw in the government names!” He yelled back, throwing his arms up in desperation.

You sighed and dropped the empty dishes you were carrying on the lower counter beside him, then took one of the clean napkins and placed it in his hand. You moved his limp arm like you would a little kid and wiped the screen in demonstration.

“Okay, okay I get it, get off!” He said before swatting your hand away and continuing the task himself.

He kept mumbling under his breath how you were ‘insufferable when you’re hungover ’ and how ‘Carmy should’ve done a better job last night’ as you rounded up the dishes again and walked into the kitchen, not before painfully jamming your elbow into his side.

The hangover wasn’t the only problem, you had spent most of the morning throwing up and were sure you had gotten rid of most of the alcohol in your system. Having Carmy ignore you most of the day was the bigger issue. He had managed to avoid you all through morning prep and even hid in his office during family. You had maybe seen him two or three times during lunch service, but not once did he look up at you. Between having him act as if you weren’t even there and the constant guilt for how the conversation had gone, you were still trying to debate whether you wanted to try and talk things again. If there was anything left to solve.

You kept yourself busy during the break, setting the new tablecloths around the dining room, making sure they fell correctly and tried to ignore the pooling memories of his soft touches with every fabric you pulled out. Once they were set up to your liking, you took the empty cloth bag and walked back inside to save it with your remaining stuff. When you turned the corner towards the office, your sneakers squeaked at your sudden stop and your brow furrowed at the closed door. It was normally always open and you were sure you had left it that way twenty minutes ago when you had gone in to retrieve your things. You shrugged and kept walking to it, assuming it could have been a draft.

The last thing you expected to find inside was a tall blonde standing in the middle of the room beside Carmy. They both turned startled at the sudden intrusion while you stopped abruptly half way in. Your eyes danced between them for less than a second, a growing warmth of embarrassment holding your cheeks hostage. Carmy averted his gaze as the women scanned you expectantly.

“Uh… so-sorry.” You managed to blurt out, throw the fabric by the floor with the rest of your things and quickly shut the door behind you.

A dense huff left your chest when the door finally clicked shut. You moved back as if it were to combust instantaneously and still somewhat disoriented, traveled to the back for a breath of fresh air.

The soft crunch of gravel under your shoes grew therapeutic after the long day, as the smoke from a nearby cigarette floated to your nose and seemed appealing in the moment. Richie sat on one of the stacked up crates digging on the little stones by his feet, cig in between his fingers as he typed energetically on his phone. He looked up long enough to see you walk towards him with an extended hand to bum out a drag. He did so doubtful because he had never seen you smoke before, but didn’t care enough to ask and offered it anyway.

The numbing sensation spread to your head after the second drag, the voices in the back asking why you had quit in the first place. You handed the shorter tube back to Richie and leaned against the brick wall, still faintly warm from the early spring sun. You played with your bottom lip in concentration, racking your brain for ways you could ask him about the woman you saw Carmy with, without sounding too intrusive. ‘Fuck it, he already thought you were fucking, might as well ask.’ you thought.

You cleared your throat with a small cough and he turned to you with raised brows.

“Hey Richie,” You began, picking at the loose skin around your nails. “D-do you know who that blonde woman is? The one in the office?”

“Blonde woman.. Who, Sugar?” He asked leaning back to get a better look at you, smoke between his curled lips.

You shrugged trying to seem as nonchalant as it was possible, with your anxious brain throwing thousands of scenarios per second.

He took another drag, blew the smoke then spoke. “Oh, that’s uhm… that’s Carmy’s wife.” Richie spoke flatly, scratching above his bottom lip to hide an upcoming smirk.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

The blood underneath your skin began to boil, you felt hot and cold at the same time and your vision blurred with the threat of unsuspecting tears. Your breaths began to grow shorter but heavier as the acid in your stomach tried to claw its way up for the fifth time. You swallowed hard and snatched the cig from his offering hand, inhaling as much of the toxic fumes as it took to settle your boiling anger back into a simmer.

“Oh. She’s pretty.” Was all you were able to say, though it didn’t reflect the indescribable rage you were feeling.

At who, you weren’t sure. Yourself firstly, for being so foolishly naive to assume that he was different from any other tattooed, apron wearing son of a bitch you had met before. For thinking that he was actually interested in you as a human being and didn’t see you as another gold medal to receive as price for fucking the new girl. You were obviously extremely pissed at Carmen because what the actual fuck?! Who fucking does that?! Of course you knew of one fucking person, but did Carmen really think you were never going to find out? Why had Sydney not told you or did she not know either?

A million questions raced through your mind as you took another long inhale of smoke, eyes fixated on the rocky ground. You were so lost in the whirlpool of rage, you didn’t notice how Richie had pulled another cigarette for himself, leaving you the half finished one.

“Guess you didn’t know then, huh?” He asked, flicking the lighter on and burning the herby tip.

You shook your head slowly, thumbnail in between your teeth, the floating smoke from the ember tip between your fingers reached your eyes and made them water. ‘Yeah, that's what it is’, you thought. You sniffed heavily and regained composure because Richie was the last person who you’d let see you have a breakdown.

The dense metal door opened with a creek and the person you dreaded to see the most stepped out into the empty space. He walked towards you and Richie with his own unlit cig between his lips, brow creased when he eyed yours.

“Didn’t you quit?” He asked, nodding his head towards the short tube between your lips.

Pushing yourself off the brick with a last inhale of smoke, you flicked the end into the nearby garbage and walked past him without a single glance in his direction. You didn’t trust your voice or anything that would come out of it if you decided to answer, so you pushed your way inside and let the broth of your heated emotions simmer in your chest for what was left of the day.

You did what you do best when pissed, suppress everything in a little dark corner in your head and focus on the task at hand, the task now being getting through the dinner rush alive. It seemed like people knew you had a shitty day and could use the distraction because they had not stopped coming in since the doors were reopened at five. Between orders and clearing tables, you had only looked at your watch twice all afternoon, the last being twenty minutes ago when it read 8:30pm.

Carrying the last of the empty dishes into the back, you spotted Angel leaning lazily against the rack holding the clean kitchenware. You placed the plates lightly on the empty space beside the sink and he groaned in response to seeing them.

“I take it ‘adventure’ was fun, then?” You said teasingly then patted him on the back. “Those are my last ones!” You let him know, walking back out to finish cleaning your station.

A few customers lingered around, only two or three sat on the counter while they waited for their to-go orders, but other than that the dining room had grown empty. It was only then that you felt the weight of the day's events fall hefty on your overworked back. You placed your cool fingertips over your tired eyelids, taking a few long breaths as the dam you had kept all your anger behind began to crack. All you could see were flashes of swaying blues and golden brows as the choir in your brain listed all the reasons you were an idiot for putting your trust in someone again.

‘Please don’t ever think for a second that I would do anything to hurt you.’ The once sweet words now ran like bitter sap down your throat, the stickiness gluing it shut and leaving everything inside to brew until it reached a break point. You didn’t know if you were angrier at him or yourself. You tried to search your memories for any indication or mention of a partner, a ring or maybe even a tan line across his finger, but they all hit a dead end.

Frustration and sadness were a dangerous cocktail mixing at the back of your eyes and picking at your tear ducts, you rubbed hard until you saw stars to try to get the sensation out, but it only seemed to make it worse.

‘No, you are not gonna break now’ you reminded yourself, pulling the tears back into your eyes with a loud sniff. ‘You’re going to finish your shift, tell Carmy where he can stick his stupid fuckin’ spoon and never come back again’.

You had made that clear in your head while running orders. Every time you picked a new one from the expo and saw his inked hand push it towards you, the annoyance grew uncomfortable in your chest and you had to bite your tongue to the point of injury. You couldn’t stay like this, not when only a couple hours ago you were ready to break your most personal foundation for him, not when some fucked up part of your brain had made you believe that you could even get to love him, and he you.

It seemed of little value now, to think of this place as your safe haven when now you were afraid to catch him around every corner. Afraid of whether you’d want to slap him or kiss him because that’s how confusing your head was starting to feel. An almost inaudible voice in the back had planted the doubt that ‘Maybe this was Richie’s way of getting back at you for being a bitch all day and none of it is true’ but even if it was right, that didn’t take away the fact that things were never going to go back to how they used to.

If it weren’t true and you stayed, that still left the guilt of rejecting him looming above you both, persistent, dark and never ending. And if it were and you still stayed, knowing that he had consciously tried something with you while having someone waiting for him at home would rip you from the inside out. The last time that happened, you almost didn’t make it out… and nothing promised that this time would be any different.

With the new found heaviness of old wounds, you cleared your throat from the asphyxiating knot and continued to clean the mess left on the table, for what felt like the last time. You thoroughly scanned the room for remaining garbage, then took the last bags out to the back dumpster. One last swipe of the counters and there was nothing more left to do. You wanted to keep looking for things to do, things to clean or rearrange. Anything to delay the inevitable. But as you turned off the light inside the closed space, you knew you had to do it.

The kitchen was empty as you made your way slowly through the hallway, everyone had gone home at least twenty minutes before. Syd had even asked if you wanted company, but you denied it politely, knowing it was something you had to do alone; besides you didn’t know how rude you were gonna get and were in no need of an audience.

A growing anxiety took a hold of your chest as you reached the small office door and you spotted Carmy sitting with his back towards the entrance. Your step faltered when your legs grew weak at the thought of confrontation and as if he could feel your presence, the chair turned in your direction. He swallowed at the sight of you, brows raised in surprise, weighing heavy on your heart. You forced yourself inside and leaned down by the foot of the door that had become a foster home for your bag during the last month and a half.

He cleared his throat with a cough and you looked up at him expectantly.

“You headin’ home?” He asked, playing with the pen in his hand.

Swallowing the knot back down, you nodded and stood straight. “Yeah.. and I won’t be back.” His expression changed to one of worry. “So… thank you and fuck you.”

With the strap held like a lifeline, you turned in place and tried to make your way out of the small space before he had a chance to react.

“Wait, wait, wait-” He said loudly following behind you.

He quickly rounded the station through the other side and reached the hallway that led to the steward area and the backdoor before you, extending a strong arm against the rack and locking you in. You stopped abruptly, almost knocking face first into his bicep, then took two steps back for space.

“Can you please, tell me what the fuck is going on?”

This is exactly what you wanted to avoid, almost as much as you were avoiding his intense stare. He took a step forwards, lightly leaning down to your eye level and that made you glare at him instantly, because was he fucking squaring up at you? You stood your ground and raised your brows in defiance. You could see the muscles in his jaw tense up, eyes swirling with a hurricane.

“I don’t want to work here anymore… with you.” You answered with difficulty. Your voice was betraying your stand.

“Why?” He asked with a blank stare.

“Because I don’t think it’s ethical.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t like you.”

“Why?”

“Because I think you’re a son of a bitch.” This began to frustrate you.

“Why?”

“Because how fuckin’ dare you hit on me when you’re fuckin’ married!” You finally exploded.

“Is that all this is about?!” He finally answered clearly.

“What do you mean ‘Is that all’! That “all” is a big fuckin’ deal!”

“Who told you that shit, anyway?!” Carmy asked frustrated, the tint on his skin rising up his neck.

“I saw her in your office, what? You thought I was never gonna find out?!”

“Who, Sugar?!”

“Yes, Sugar!” You shouted exasperated, had he always been this irritating?

He breathed out a humorless laugh, one hand rubbing his mouth, the other on his hip as he stared down at you.

“Sugar… is my fuckin’ sister. Wh-who told you that married shit?!” He asked, waving his hand angrily in the air.

“Doesn’t matter, the fuck was I supposed to know that?!” You shouted back, too deep in now to swallow down the contents of your mistake, scattered all over the floor.

“I don’t know, maybe you could have asked me!”

“Oh, like you would tell me shit.” You responded, rolling your eyes at him and crossing your arms over your chest. It was a lost fight but you were too stubborn to admit you were wrong now.

“Seriously? That’s fuckin’ rich coming from you. You wanted me to believe I scared you into leaving!” He takes another step towards you and this one has you sliding a couple inches back.

“I said I was sorry, okay?” The heavy pounding vibrated inside your ears as adrenaline mixed blood traveled faster into your head.

“Yeah well, you say that a lot lately.” He answered sarcastically, the pain hidden behind thin humor had your arms lose their grip and fall flaccid beside you.

“Look, that’s not the point,okay? The point is I can’t stay here.” You reply defeated, a pang of guilt hitting your stomach.

“Why?! Cause of some made up wife that turned out to be my sister?!”

You turned to the metal table behind you and dropped your bag on top with a loud clang of what you assumed were your keys inside. Sweaty palms rested on top of the cool surface and you let your head hang low while you tried to calm your anger down. Maybe you did go a bit too far by not asking him first, but in your defense, being hot headed was part of your nature.

“No Carmy- because I can’t stand seeing you every second of every day and not being able t-to touch you or-or kiss or do anything about all these stupid feelings inside! ” You finally confessed when you could no longer see his intense stare. The words stumbled out like the alcohol contents of that morning, heavy, fast and unstoppable.

Your heavy breaths and the running motor of the walk in are the only sounds audible in the reduced space. But if you could take a peek in either of your heads, you’d be surprised at the amount of swarming voices trying to decipher a million thoughts per second. Your eyes were fixated on the carefully organized spices resting on the second level of the table.

“So that’s your plan, then? Leavin’ cause you like me too much, but you can’t do anything while you’re here.” He whispered and you heard the light squeak of his kitchen shoes as he moved closer to you.

As the cloud of anger slowly dissipated, giving pathway to clear thoughts, the undertones of his words appeared unobstructed in front of you. You blinked continuously as you played out the idea in your head.

“Yeah… I-I guess.” You mumbled.

A soft breath escaped your lips when you felt a warm touch contrast to the chill surface. You looked down to your left hand, a bigger one placed carefully on top, skilled fingers inching close to the free space between yours, a tickling feeling erupting at the touch. Your fingers rounded softly around his and that was the sign of reassurance he needed to step closer to you, chest pressing fully to the length of your back and caging you to the table.

He held your palm like delicate glass under his rough hand, both of your eyes trained on the curved limbs, afraid the eye contact would strip your souls too bare. Carmy whispered your name like a prayer, voice soft enough only for you to hear in the empty space, a wisp of sultry air hit the base of your neck and erupting chills around the sensitive skin.

“You are amazingly smart, really fuckin’ funny and it would be a lie if I said I wouldn’t miss you… but if having you with me means not seeing you here every day, then I will gladly fire you myself.”

A breathy laugh left your lips, soon replaced by a sharp intake when you felt his fingertips brush gently at the base of your neck, moving your hair out of the way then leaning down to place a tender kiss to the skin. Your vision blurred at the edges from the simple touch and the hand holding his, locked tight around tattooed fingers. He kept planting small kisses to your rising skin, stealing small gasps from your chest, finding it adorable and amusing all at once. You felt a shy smile against your neck as his right digits skimmed over the soft velvet of your other arm.

It was ridiculous how his effortless touch had you almost losing grasp of your self control so easily. You tried to regain your composure, or at least concentrate on what would leave your mouth next, other than shameful gasps. Your mouth fell dry when his right hand curled at your waist and when he pressed himself closer to you, your lips parted open like a fish praying for a drop of water outside the ocean.

“Want me to stop?” He whispered in between pecks. He knew your answer from the way your body was reacting to him, but the never ending voice in the back of his head made him doubtful.

You shook your head no, not trusting the words in your mouth, swallowing dryly, and took the chance to turn around as best you could in the limited space. With heaving breaths and a thumping heart you finally looked up into the cloudless sky trapped in his eyes. Your brows furrowed at the marvelous change they reflected from the tired man you had grown to care for.

Now with a clear head, a different answer manifested in your mind as the one you had given the night before. If it meant you had to lose one thing to gain another even better, then so be it. You weren’t breaking any self imposed rule, only finding a loophole around it. There was no doubt in your mind that you wanted this. No angry voices in your head alarming you of what a terrible idea this was. It was only you, him and the prospect of a future together, however long it may be.

You stood on your toes and at last, closed the little distance left between your lips, He kissed back almost immediately, like he had been waiting for this exact moment, soft hungry lips dancing gracefully against each other. His hands moved to wrap around your waist again, pulling you closer as yours curled hard around the flimsy material of the white shirt on his torso. You bit lightly on his bottom lip and a small groan vibrated from his throat into yours and directly in between your thighs.

Without an inch of hesitation, he parted from your kiss and strong arms lifted you up to sit on the chill metal. Your legs opened for him to step in between and your cheeks would have gone crimson at the way they parted instantly if he would have given you a chance, but immediately after moving into the welcoming space, his hand circled the back of your neck and crashed your lips to his again with new found passion. The view was parallel to your imagination and a soft moan escaped your lips at the sweet memory, one he swallowed gladly. His other hand massaged your upper thigh, thumb brushing tenderly over the inside of your jeans, very close to the pulsing center where you needed him most.

You held on to his shoulder in support and threaded your fingers through his hair, just like you had imagined many times before. His hand squeezed your thigh deliciously at a pull to his roots and the vibration that escaped his throat allowed you to deepen the kiss, slipping your tongue to caress his own. Your lungs burned from the lack of air but you would rather die by asphyxiation than lose the rhythm you had carefully cultivated with him.

The hand on your thigh traveled back slowly, both meeting at the base of your spine. Still in your cloudy haze, you expected him to continue his exploration down, but his fingers stayed spread out at the bottom of your back, unable to move. With hands still knotted in golden strands, you circled your legs around what you could reach of his hips and pulled him closer than before. An involuntary snap of his pelvis against your core ripped a surprised whimper from your mouth and the sound seemed to be enough of a push for his hands to reach down to your ass, pulling you to the edge of the metal and kneading the tender flesh.

You could feel the straining bulge against his jeans as he continued to grind persistently, a strong grasp on your body. Short gasps escaped your lips at the friction, just enough to get you riled up but not to reach the high you were chasing. Peeling your lips from his to take a heavy breath, you pecked down his jaw and up to his ear where you rolled his lobe between your teeth. He shivered under your touch, a shaky laugh leaving his lips as his head fell on your shoulder and his movements faltered.

“Carmy… ” You pleaded into his ear.

It didn’t matter if you sounded pitiful, the only thing you needed at the moment was for him to take you hard on that table. You let go from his hair and dropped your hands to the buttons of his black jeans while you worked his ear between licks and tiny bites. His hands mirrored yours, fluidly popping the buttons open and sliding the thick material down your legs. Your sneakers fell to the ground with an empty noise when you kicked them off as he discarded your jeans somewhere on the kitchen floor, then pushed your hand down the loose waistband of his jeans and boxers to his welcoming hard cock.

His breath got caught in his throat from the sudden touch of your ever-cold hands, a heavy moan leaving his lips and tickling the inside of your neck. You stroked the surprising length with slow movements. You didn’t expect him to be so… gifted, at least he didn’t carry himself like it. It was a nice shock, one that had you grinding against nothing on the cool metal.

He must have sensed your desperation as a struggling whine left your mouth, because he placed a trail of soft kisses back up to your face. One of his hands rubbed your cheek tenderly, softly shushing you while his thumb brushed over your bottom lip.

“Shh, it’s okay” Carmy muttered with a low raspy voice. “I got you… I got you.” He placed soft kisses over your whimpering lips. The change in his tone from what you were used to made the movements of your hand waver inside his jeans and you squeezed lightly around his cock.

With no warning, skilled fingers rubbed at your folds through the fabric of your damp underwear, forcing a guttural moan to escape the deepest part of your being. He repeated the circular motion whilst peppering around your heaving lips with wet kisses. Using your thighs for support, you grind your hips to his palm, looking for release and speeding up your movements carefully on your other hand. He answered your actions by pushing your underwear to the side and massaging the tender area at a torturous pace.

A shock wave traveled up your spine at the contact, your hips chasing after his touch. He teased your entrance with his middle finger, rubbing around it but not quite going all the way.

“Fuck… Carmy, please” You managed to say between gasps, pushing your hips towards him to stimulate the friction.

“Please what?” He asked through gritted teeth, screwed brows betraying the blankness in his voice.

You tried following his movements, but the hand on your cheek quickly snapped down to your soft thighs, pressing you down with strength onto the counter top, a small smack rippling through your skin and vibrating tight down to your core.

“C’om on, chef… use your words for me.” He whispered near your ear and the simple sentence had your cunt gripping around nothing. “D'you want me to fuck you?” He asked, middle finger dipping halfway into you with a torturing pace. “To fill you up here, in the middle of my kitchen?”

Oh. Oh.

This was new. As well as the bubble of excitement growing in the valley between your legs. You had never been a fan of dirty talk, but the way your body was reacting to his words made you believe that no one had done it correctly until now. Gone was the stuttering man who couldn’t hold eye contact with you at the start, now replaced by some smooth motherfucker who could make you come with just his words.

“Yes… please” Short gasps followed your words.

“Yes what?” He pulled his mouth from your neck and stared down at you through hooded eyelids.

You could feel his pulse vibrate through his heavy dick in your hand as short breaths left your kiss swollen lips. The words fell thick in your throat, trapped between a whine and a gasp. Your thoughts streamed rapidly in your head and you knew that no future scenario would ever live up to this moment. You knew it wasn’t just about the sex he was asking approval for, it was about the whole conversation. The fight, the confession, the plated tray with his heart atop it that you had left untouched the night before. He needed the reassurance that this was not a goodbye or a one and done.

“Yes chef” You whispered with no doubts.

You pulled your hand from inside his jeans, then used your legs to pull them further down and finally free his erection from its confined space. And without taking your eyes off his, you reached up to your mouth, stuck out your tongue and swiped a thick coat of saliva to your digits. His lips parted in a daze, dark eyes flickering to your lips then back to your glossy stare.

The moment your hand made contact with his pulsing girth, he knew he was done for.

He pulled your hips to the edge, then carelessly removed your underwear and his shirt. Your eyes caught on dark designs decorating his hard abdomen and rib cage, and your mouth watered at the idea of tracing your tongue on each individual line, but the velvet tip of his cock sliding between your opening knocked all the thoughts inside your head.

“Shit..”He said under a shaky breath “D-do you have one?”

His forehead pressed to yours, both sets of eyes fixed on the view below them.

“No but, uhm.. I got an IUD. I-I’m all set.”

“Yeah, no..uhm, I mean cool, t-that’s great.” He responded with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah..” You answered amused.

You held his cock in your lubricated hand as his tip found your entrance, then slowly disappeared past your folds. A shared groan vibrated in the closeness of your chest when a delicious ache tingled along your cunt at the sudden stretch. Carmy dropped his head to place a kiss against your clothed shoulder and circled his hands under your thighs for a better grip. He stayed immobile for a couple long seconds, basking in the tight hold your pussy had around him, so much better than what he had ever imagined.

You shuttered beside his ear when he unsteadily pulled back almost to the tip and a small smile curled on his lips. Carmy took a calming breath to ease his racing heart, and without warning slammed his hips deep into your own, thick fingers kneading at the underskin of your thighs. The force of his pace pulled the last puffs of air from your lungs, leaving you a panting mess underneath his touch. One of your hands gripped the slick surface behind you for support while the other clawed against Carmy’s back, pressing him impossibly closer to you.

A thread of ‘Fuckfuckfuck’ and ‘Oh god’ spilled from your mouth with each strong thrust assaulting your body. Your senses were overwhelmed by his actions, every individual pound against you was followed by the obscene sound of slapping skin and blurred vision. His hips snapped repeatedly into you, pushing everything out of the way and filling you up with only him. You could feel him so deep in you that the taste of his cock lingered on your tongue.

The force of his movements rattled the legs of the table and a few spice containers fell around you, but that didn’t seem important enough for him to stop his brutal force.

A long fuck shaped groan left his throat, the dirty noise making your grip on his dick tighten.

“Fuck C-Carmy” You breathed out with wavering strength.

He separated from your neck long enough to admire how beautiful you looked under him. Baby hairs stuck to your sweaty forehead and rubies decorated your freckled cheeks. Your eyes were blown wide and brows knit together as you took in every of his firm thrusts. He could see the soft bounce of your breasts under your thin shit and he could only dream of what he would do with them when you had more time.

“W-what” You asked him when you caught him staring longingly at you.

His movements slowed down but didn’t stop fully, only enough to take in the full view of your glowing skin and panting chest.

“You’re fuckin’ perfect.” He sighed and a breathy laugh vibrated softly against your joined bodies.

He pulled you into a soft kiss, savoring the taste of the heated moment and categorizing it under one of the best things he had placed upon his tongue. A sharp gasp ripped from your chest when he snapped his pelvis deep into you, hitting a specific spot that left you a mumbling mess under his tips. He did it again, just to see you fall apart at his touch, head falling back and gasping for air.

Carmy found the whole experience extra corporeal and as if something had gained total control of his body, his hands carried your thighs higher up and pressed them to your chest, each socked foot resting on his broad shoulders. You took your nails from his back and rested both pals behind you, keeping you upright. Then he angled himself to where he felt a soft stop inside you and began to snap his hips against it.

The sensation was so strong you could barely mutter his name. You felt him everywhere, so deep you could feel him up your throat, in your bloodstream and every individual cell in your body. Your skin burned to the touch and nothing other than him pounding ruthlessly against you made sense in your mind. He was fucking you stupid, pulse beating in your navel and eyes covered in blinding stars.

You tried to let him know, warn him even, but nothing other than his name fell like prayer beads from your heaving lips. You squeezed your cunt around him and a small falter in his actions gave you some room to breathe.

“Fuck I-I can’t, Car-Carmy I'm gonn-” You struggled, waiting for the air to reach your lungs, but it was all tainted by the smell of sex and him.

“Let go, baby, let go” He cooed between moans.

And it was all you needed to hear to finally lose yourself completely to his touch. The smacking noise grew louder as he gripped your thighs with one arm around them, then the other traveled between you, placing his thumb above your swollen clit and pushing down in insistent circles.

The pressure in the base of your belly ultimately broke with a snap and an uncontained moan painted the walls of the empty kitchen in a lilac hue. Your vision blurred as tears of bliss gathered under your eyelids and your body floated into nothingness. Your walls pulsed around his dick with two more thrusts and that was enough for him to follow you down the rabbit hole of your joined orgasm. A choked growl vibrated in his chest and streaks of red crawled their way up his neck and buried at his cheeks with his release.

His grip on your legs loosened when he used his hands to steady his weight against the table, and let them fall carefully around his waist as he catched his breath. With his head hanging low, he pecked small kisses to your exposed skin. Your head hanging back with eyes shut, trying to enjoy the last ripples of pleasure turning into shallow waves. One of your hands caressed up his sweaty skin and buried into the tangled mess of his hair lovingly.

A soft pleased smile covered his features, closed eyelashes feathering lightly against yours. His large palm rested beside your still trembling thigh, soft thumb rubbing calming circles and a small chuckle left his lips.

“It was fuckin’ Richie, wasn’t it?” He asked, breaking the pleasant blissful silence you had sat in for however long it took to settle your raging heartbeats.

You nodded in response with your own small laugh and heard him mumble a ‘Fuckin’ Richie’, raising his head and looking lovingly into your glossed over eyes.

“It’s okay, I’ll just tell everyone he’s the reason I quit so they hate him for a little while.” You whispered and a beautiful sound left his lips.

It was a soft relaxed sighed laugh, the kind you don’t have to force and that vibrates directly from your chest out, brightening the space around you. Your chest tightened at the melodious sound and your brows scrunched up in awe when he finally opened his eyes again. The ever present line of worry above his brows was gone, leaving behind only the tint of rich aquamarine and sapphire blues.

Chapter 5.

Taglist: @pearlstiare @teteminne and that’s it lmao

#carmen berzatto x reader #the bear & the fox #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmy smut #the bear tv #carmy berzatto headcanon #the bear headcanon #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto smut #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #carmy x poc reader

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tmnt-obsessed-ace · 2 years ago

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Having thoughts about Timothy so...

I kinda wanna make an au where Timothy gets fixed.

Getting turned human again is out of the question. I headcanon that he got turned into...that because the mutagen was expired, which makes it borderline unusable. It creates the most unstable mutations and is considered a biohazard in Dimension X.

So the Kraang decided to give some to the Shredder before their alliance was strengthened.

As Timothy was mutated with expired mutagen he can't be turned human again, his flesh was turned into acidic slime, leaving only his organs behind.

No matter how much Donnie tried he couldn't reverse the mutation, and the few imes he got close Timothy almost flatlined.

(And with all the insanity of seasons 3-4 there wasn't any time to focus on finding a cure, Timothy just kept getting pushed further and further on the back burner.)

However eventually Donnie found a solution, he couldn't turn Timothy into a human but he could turn him into a different mutant.

It took months of carefully performing mutagen transfusions for Timothy to mutate into something else, something he could actually live as.

You see Donnie used his own DNA to help stabilize the mutation.

Timothy turned into a mutant turtle.

Not a normal mutant turtle. He is about thirty percent transparent, his organs are visible through his plastron. His shell and plastron are much softer than the other turtles (even a little bit gooey) He has five fingers instead of three (but he does have the turtle feet) his eyes are glowing teal from the mutagen.

Point is he is a mutant turtle, just like he originally wanted.

Just like his idols.

When he wakes up, the first time not in a weird haze since mutation (he became less and less lucid as time went on) the first person he sees is Donnie.

A much different, much more worn Donnie. A bit taller, heavily scarred, near permanant bags under his eyes.

They have so much to discuss.

Timothy missed so much.

#tmnt 2012 #having the Timothy thoughts #he was just a dorky kid that had no idea what he was about to do to himself #he didn't know what the mutagen would do #he justed wanted to be a super hero #and he paid the price

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furby-organist · 3 months ago

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Random Local Alastor Facts!

He has a drawing tablet (like, a bamboo) hooked up to his computer in his radiotower.

He barely uses that OLD ASS COMPUTER except for accessing music that isn't available physically, and sometimes some research. Marina (@/killstreaming) set him up with her drawing tablet back when the Tumblr crab game first came out, and he liked it WAY more than a mouse! So he kept it and uses it instead of a mouse.

His pet raccoon (aka his Raccoon Son) has his own radio station!

He hooked a mic up to that little guy, so you get to hear broadcasted chattering and Raccoon Livestreaming, I guess. Sometimes the mic battery dies, though.

He knows how to make vegan food!

Not for himself, but for some the radio students. (Marina is vegan.) He used to feed them human meat (with full disclosure) bc like... they're college kids, it's free food, they weren't saying no;;; but after a reality check, he got his shit together and actually feeds them properly.

He does have a furby organ.

and sometimes he plays it on air in the morning. Monday morning hangover cure, probably.

He likes to read!

It can be anything! Fiction, nonfiction, academic work, if it's good, it's good! The last thing he read was the Wre/tched of the Ea/rth by Fra/ntz Fa/non. He's currently reading Bl/ood Meri/dian.

He does not like sweets very much.

He has permanent Keto Palate (not from doing keto though. It's just the way he is.) Refined sugar really does taste like battery acid to him! But he likes making sweet things sometimes, so, y'all get to be taste-testers. (Especially his husband.)

He's scared of dogs but does a decent job of hiding it.

Unless it starts barking and jumping at him. Then he needs to Leave. If it's just chilling, he'll be cautious + tense and keep a distance between them, but it's fine.

He's not the kind of serial killer who hurts animals.

He doesn't love animals like some serial killers who swing wildly in the opposite direction, though. He's just cool with them. They're just kind of out here doing their own thing. He thinks it's perfectly fine to eat them, but you're kind of a weirdo for hurting them for fun, the same way you're a weirdo for hurting a weaker perspn. And if he gets positive attention from one (NOT a dog), that's pretty cool too. He doesn't get a lot of positive attention from people, so, hey, he'll take it.

He's a Pick Me ass serial killer

Lol. He's "not like other serial killers" and he doesn't respect any of these freaks! People who kill others who don't stand a chance? You're weird for that. People who use axes and shit? You're a neanderthal. Look, it's not hard to kill another human being, especially a kid, kids are always out here inventing new ways to die anyway -- you're not special! You're weird as fuck actually

He still won't go to the doctor.

Even after Adam nerfed him! He will NOT see a medical professional. He'll just keep chewing on ice when that iron deficiency pica hits and he'll keep secretly dyeing his grey hair (don't metagame this)

He doesn't want kids of his own but he loves being a funcle!

What it says on the tin. He was born to be a funcle. He doesn't have the patience or selflessness to properly raise his own kid. It's good that he recognizes this.

His favorite kinds of jazz music are the experimental kinds!

Which flows in to why he's a big fan of modern-day experimental & noise. (That entire genre is inspired by jazz, btw.) His fav artist Of His Era is Cab Callaway, but, he also really likes Coltrane & other similar artists.

#a ritual in the garden soil (headcanon)

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clarajohnson · 1 year ago

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the magicians s1e5

being concerned about the fate of the friend who nearly permanently incapacitated you in a mind prison is sooooo babygirl of quentin

the way that q and julia (and like i'm guessing the other first years in the main cast? but not a given) are like, only probably 22 at this point. literal children.

traveling is such a neat concept one point to the magicians for that

i'm constantly shocked by s1 margo she's very sweet very shallow and not so acidic. also her outfits are shit. i'm so looking forward to no-bullshit heart of gold high king margo with her unbelievable fillory wardrobe.

(eventually) killing ted coldwater is one of the evilest things this show does

eliot wouldn't wear a bowtie. i know this. i should have run the magicians.

circling back to julia being 22 YOU MIGHT HAVE YOUR UNDERGRAD DEGREE AT THIS POINT DON'T PLAY HOUSEWIFE FOR THIS MAN

"if magicians could cure cancer why would anybody have cancer" "because we like secrets" this episode laying a lot of groundwork for fandom hand-wringing in the future

everyone here is so babyfaced and yes i'm talking about margo again

every julia scene makes me more and more nervous knowing how close we're getting to reynard. also more excited because we're closer to best bitches but mostly nervous.

margo's welters outfit i say yay yippee hooray hooray hooray

you know the physical kids are the main characters in this show because they all have fun character-specific welters uniforms while the nature students are wearing fucking maroon tunics

who knew you had it in you !!!!! you're so right margo we should get married

julia's s1 arc being like, ooh i'm a magic junkie is so embarrassing but you have to remember that their like Main Poster for this season used the literal tagline "magic is a drug" and it's like oh yeah they thought this would be harry potter for adults with stick and pokes

love the entirety of kady and penny's relationship being open and honest communication, excellent banter, and routine sex that is apparently consistently unbelievable. also very clear and pure love.

"you slept with me two days ago" "you're welcome"

this show really does villains well, they're always kind of polite and basically unstoppable, these facsimiles of civility that intend to turn you inside out and you can really only stop them by a miracle

eliot doing his best impression of a man who cares about alice >>>>

"what if i could fix him?" (narrator: he could not fix cancer puppy)

there seem to be two types of magic in this show: there's very involved tutting and there's a kind of... i don't know, like, magic that seems more like strong-willing things to happen. like some of it is about doing the right steps in a very specific order and some of it is about wanting it badly enough.

"get ready for the first spanking you won't enjoy" "that actually sounds kind of hot" they are my best friends

god alice/margo had so much potential

"penny i think you were in fillory" LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#unauthorized magicians rewatch #the magicians #text

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pdmhospital13 · 1 month ago

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Gas acidity relief and solutions. Explore effective ways to manage and treat gas acidity with expert advice and natural remedies."

#What to drink for heartburn relief home remedy #Home remedy for acid reflux at night #How to cure GERD permanently naturally #How to get rid of acid reflux fast

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ayurvedasifa · 4 months ago

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How to Cure Acidity Permanently

Acidity, also known as acid reflux or heartburn, is a common condition that many people experience. It occurs when the stomach produces an excess of gastric acids, leading to a burning sensation in the chest or throat. While occasional acidity is normal, frequent episodes can be uncomfortable and disruptive. Here, we explore effective and permanent remedies for curing acidity.

Understanding Acidity

Acidity primarily results from the consumption of acidic foods, stress, lack of sleep, and irregular eating habits. Symptoms include a burning sensation in the stomach or chest, bloating, burping, and nausea. Knowing the underlying causes and symptoms helps in formulating an effective treatment plan.

Dietary Adjustments for Acidity

1. Avoid Acidic Foods

Certain foods can exacerbate acidity. Spicy foods, citrus fruits, tomatoes, onions, and caffeinated beverages should be limited. These items increase gastric acid production and can aggravate symptoms.

2. Eat Alkaline Foods

Incorporate alkaline foods into your diet to balance stomach acids. Leafy greens, cucumbers, melons, bananas, and almonds are excellent choices. How to Cure Acidity Permanently. These foods help neutralize stomach acids and reduce the occurrence of acidity.

3. Regular Meal Times

Eating at regular intervals and avoiding large meals can prevent the overproduction of stomach acids. Smaller, more frequent meals are easier on the digestive system and help maintain a balanced pH level.

#best ayurvedic medicine #ayurveda medicine #How to Cure Acidity Permanently

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ask-sibverse · 9 months ago

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umm i found this blog for the sibverse stuff but noticed your reader stories. what is diabetes exactly? i never heard of it before.

Oh hey I get to infodump

Diabetes is actually a fairly common chronic illness in the West (I have absolutely no idea about the actual statistics outside of the US though). It is an endocrine (hormone) condition connected to the pancreas, specifically involving insulin production. Insulin is a key hormone in taking sugars and carbohydrates to convert into anything useful for the body, and without it one will die an excruciatingly slow, painful death. Type 1 Diabetes specifically is a condition that generally develops in childhood where the body permanently destroys all insulin producing cells in the pancreas. This was a death sentence until synthetic insulin was invented in the 1920s. Even still it meant a decreased life expectancy (my dad who was diagnosed in the 80s is the only one still alive today of a dozen or so diabetics he grew up with)

The amount of glucose in the blood needs to be kept balanced. Too little causes hypoglycemia, which can cause erratic heartbeat, muscle and limb weakness/shakiness, anxiety, and cognitive delays. If hypoglycemia can get bad enough loss of consciousness and death are possible. Too much glucose, or hyperglycemia, can cause vision issues, irritability, muscle pain and headaches, and lethargy. Severe hyperglycemia can cause DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) in which one's blood literally becomes acidic as the body begins cannibalizing itself for survival. Even more severe can cause coma and death.

Literally everything can effect glucose levels. What you eat, how much insulin you dose for, but also other hormone levels, stress levels, exercise, and other medical conditions. Insulin needs to be delivered via injections, although an insulin pump (I joke its a robotic pancreas) can be used for continuous insulin dosage and allows better control. Glucose levels can be measured via pricking a fingertip to give to a glucose meter or by wearing a cgm which has a constant sensor to monitor glucose levels. Insulin pumps and cgms have increased the life expectancy and quality of life by leaps and bounds in recent years. There are no cures for diabetes available to the public in the US/UK/Canada (although stem cell research is my favorite possible cure)

In addition to this, other potential complications of diabetes can be renal failure, neuropathy (nerve cell death, very painful), retinopathy (death of the cells in your retina or eyeballs), immune compromised (the number of times I've been told Covid will kill me...), and digestive issues. Being immune compromised also means severe infections, sepsis, and gang grene are much easier to develop. Not everyone develops all of these though, and some diabetics have made it to old age with no or mild complications.

#tw medical discussion #tw needle mention #tw blood mention #t1dreader

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tarzantips · 11 months ago

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Home Remedies for Oily Dandruff: Effective Solutions for a Healthy Scalp

Seborrheic dermatitis, another name for oily dandruff, is a common condition that can be brought on by inflammation, excess oil production, or an excessive amount of yeast on the scalp. Since there is no permanent cure for dandruff, there are a few home remedies for oily dandruff that can help control and lessen the oily scalp thinning hair.

Pay attention that each person may respond differently to these treatments, so if you have any concerns about the health of your itchy oily scalp with hair loss, it is always a good idea to speak with a doctor for advice.

Home Remedies for Oily Dandruff

Here are some natural remedies for oily dandruff you can try,

1. Tea Tree Oil

How to prepare:

Tea tree oil may help lessen dandruff due to its antifungal and antibacterial qualities. Apply a small amount of tea tree oil to your scalp by combining it with a carrier oil, such as coconut oil. Try not to wash your hair for around fifteen minutes after applying it.

2. Aloe Vera

How to prepare:

Another home remedies for oily dandruff is Aloe vera. It has calming and anti-inflammatory qualities. On your scalp, apply fresh aloe vera gel directly. Rinse it off after 15 to 20 minutes. Aloe vera shampoos are another option.

3. Apple Cider Vinegar

How to prepare:

After shampooing, use a scalp rinse made of equal parts water and apple cider vinegar. It might lessen dandruff and help your scalp's pH balance.

4. Coconut Oil

How to prepare:

Coconut oil diy for dandruff and oily scalp has antibacterial qualities and can hydrate the scalp. After applying warm coconut oil to your scalp and letting it sit for at least half an hour, wash your hair.

5. Baking Soda

How to prepare:

For oily dandruff hair, mix water and baking soda to make a paste, then gently massage the mixture into your scalp. Give it a good rinse. Baking soda might help in reducing oiliness and cleansing the scalp.

6. Omega-3 Fatty Acids

How to prepare:

Incorporate into your diet foods high in omega-3 fatty acids, like fatty fish, chia seeds, and flaxseeds. These can improve the general health of the scalp along with oily dandruff treatment.

7. Select Best Shampoo for Oily Hair and Dandruff

How to prepare:

Do regularly shampoo for oily dandruff hair with a gentle anti-dandruff shampoo. Take care not to overwash your scalp because this might remove its natural oils and cause it to produce more oil.

8. Manage Stress

How to prepare:

Oily hair dandruff and hair loss can be worsened by stress. Engage in stress-relieving activities such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing techniques.

9. Probiotics

How to prepare:

Taking probiotics could help keep the microbes on your scalp in balance. Think about including foods high in probiotics, such as yogurt, in your diet.

10. Avoid Harsh Hair Products

How to prepare:

Keep clear of hair products that contain harsh chemicals that could irritate the scalp and use gentle best shampoo for oily dandruff hair and conditioners instead.

Read: How to Make Vitamin E Oil for Hair Growth?

11. Lemon Juice

How to prepare:

Try this oily dandruff scalp treatment, your scalp's pH can be balanced by the acidity of lemon juice. Apply a mixture of lemon juice and water to your scalp. Before washing your hair, let it sit for five to ten minutes.

12. Neem (Indian Lilac)

How to prepare:

Neem has antibacterial and antifungal qualities for oily dandruff and hair loss. Neem oil or a paste made from neem leaves can be applied directly to the scalp. Before washing, leave it on for about 30 minutes.

13. Honey

How to prepare:

Honey has related antifungal and antibacterial qualities. Apply a mixture of honey and warm water to your scalp. Before washing your hair, leave it on for 20 to 30 minutes.

14. Fenugreek (Methi) Seeds

How to prepare:

Fenugreek seeds should be soaked in water for a whole night, then ground into a paste and applied to the scalp. Before washing your hair, let it sit for approximately half an hour. Fenugreek is time tested home remedies for dandruff and oily scalp. It has antifungal and anti-inflammatory qualities.

15. Green Tea Rinse

How to prepare:

After brewing, let the green tea cool. After shampooing your hair, use it as a last rinse. In addition to its antioxidant content, green tea can be calming for the scalp.

16. Onion Juice

How to prepare:

Opt for this kitchen dandruff home remedy for oily scalp; onion juice has antimicrobial qualities despite its powerful smell. Juice an onion and rub it onto your scalp. Before washing, leave it on for approximately 30 minutes.

17. Epsom Salt

How to prepare:

Shampoo and Epsom salt should be combined before washing your hair. Epsom salts can minimize oily dandruff hair loss and exfoliate the scalp.

18. Jojoba Oil

How to prepare:

Jojoba oil is very similar to the sebum that the scalp naturally produces. Oil production can be regulated with the use of jojoba oil. Before washing, massage a small amount into your scalp and let it sit there for a few hours. Be assured with this dandruff oily hair home remedies idea.

19. Curd (Yogurt) Mask

How to prepare:

Before washing, apply plain yogurt to your scalp and let it sit there for 30 minutes. Yogurt's probiotics may help in recovering the microbiome balance on the scalp.

20. Essential Oils

How to prepare:

Essential oils with oily scalp dandruff treatment have anti-dandruff qualities include peppermint, lavender, and rosemary. Apply a few drops to your scalp after mixing them with carrier oil.

Read: What Really Makes the Hair Grow - The Simple Science

21. Garlic

How to prepare:

Garlic possesses related antifungal qualities. Juice from a few crushed garlic cloves should be combined with carrier oil. After applying the mixture to your scalp and letting it sit for half an hour, wash your hair.

22. Burdock Root

How to prepare:

Burdock root contains antioxidant and anti-inflammatory qualities. Burdock root tea can be prepared and used as a scalp rinse. Burdock root extract can also be found in some best shampoos for oily hair with dandruff.

23. Cucumber

How to prepare:

Juice from a mashed cucumber should be applied to your scalp. Before rinsing, leave it on for about 30 minutes. Cucumber soothes irritated scalps and has a cooling effect.

24. Chamomile Tea Rinse

How to prepare:

There are anti-inflammatory qualities to chamomile. After making chamomile tea, allow it to cool before using it as a last hair rinse. The scalp may find chamomile to be calming.

25. Turmeric

How to prepare:

Turmeric has antifungal and anti-inflammatory oily hair dandruff hair loss qualities. Use oil or water and turmeric powder to make a paste that you can apply to your scalp. Before washing, let it sit for 10 to 15 minutes.

26. Salt Scalp Scrub

How to prepare:

Gently massage your scalp with a mixture of coarse sea salt and your usual shampoo. These can helpful dandruff and oily scalp home remedies in removing extra oil and exfoliating.

27. Almond Oil

How to prepare:

Nutrient-rich almond oil has the potential to hydrate the scalp. Before washing, massage a tiny bit of almond oil into your scalp and let it sit there for a few hours.

28. Tomato Juice

How to prepare:

On your scalp, apply fresh tomato juice, and let it remain for 15 to 20 minutes before rinsing. The acidic nature of tomatoes may help bring the pH of the scalp into balance. Consider this home remedies for oily dandruff solution too.

29. Walnut Scrub

How to prepare:

To make a scrub, carefully powder walnuts and combine them with water. To remove extra oil and exfoliate your scalp, gently massage this in.

30. Lifestyle Changes

How to prepare:

Think about changing your way of life to avoid overusing heat styling, control your stress, and eat a balanced diet. Each of these factors may have an impact on scalp health.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why is my hair so oily?

Sebum, the natural oil produced by the scalp, may be produced in large quantities, making your hair oily.

This too much oiliness can be caused by several factors, including hormonal fluctuations, genetics, and an imbalance in oil production. Certain hair care habits, such as overwashing or using many products, may also be important.

2. What is oily dandruff called?

Seborrheic dermatitis is a common term used to describe oily dandruff. Excessive sebum production is the indicator of this condition, resulting in a greasy scalp and the formation of yellowish, oily flakes. On the scalp, seborrheic dermatitis can also cause redness and inflammation.

3. Should I oil my hair if I have oily scalp?

Applying oil to an oily scalp should be done with caution. While heavy oils or excessive application can worsen the problem, some oils can help balance the scalp's natural oil production.

If you decide to use oil or home remedies for oily dandruff, use light varieties like jojoba or tea tree oil and apply carefully to prevent further greasiness.

4. Is naturally oily hair good?

The management of naturally oily hair and personal preferences are the main factors that determine whether oily hair is good or bad. Naturally oily hair has several advantages, such as increased shine and hair shaft protection.

But too much oiliness can cause problems like greasiness and require more frequent washing. Maintaining healthy and manageable hair requires striking a balance with a treatment that fits your preferences and hair type.

5. Which oil is best for oily dandruff?

One of the greatest home remedies for oily dandruff is frequently thought to be tea tree oil. It is essential antifungal and antibacterial qualities may help in treating the root causes of dandruff. Further, tea tree oil has a drying effect that is advantageous for controlling oily scalps.

To make sure you are not experiencing any negative side effects, it is essential to dilute tea tree oil with carrier oil and conduct a patch test before using it.

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#tarzantips #health & fitness #home remedies #oily dandruff #dandruff

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wellstraightprofessional · 1 day ago

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Best Shampoo for Damaged Hair: Restore Your Hair’s Health Naturally

Damaged hair can feel like a persistent challenge. From excessive heat styling to environmental stressors, our hair undergoes a lot of wear and tear. However, the right shampoo can make all the difference in rejuvenating your strands. In this guide, we'll explore the best shampoo for damaged hair, key ingredients to look for, and how to choose the perfect product for your specific needs.

Signs of Damaged Hair

Before diving into the solutions, it's essential to recognize if your hair is damaged. Common signs include:

Dryness: Hair feels brittle and lacks moisture.

Split Ends: Frayed tips that make your hair look uneven.

Breakage: Strands snap easily while brushing or styling.

Frizz and Tangling: Hair becomes unruly and hard to manage. If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to invest in a shampoo designed for repair and hydration.

Key Ingredients to Look for in a Shampoo for Damaged Hair

Keratin: A protein that strengthens hair and repairs damage from within.

Argan Oil: Rich in vitamins and antioxidants, argan oil nourishes dry hair and adds shine.

Hyaluronic Acid: Provides intense hydration to replenish lost moisture in your hair.

Aloe Vera: A natural moisturizer that soothes the scalp and promotes healthy growth.

Coconut Oil: Known for its deep-conditioning properties, it prevents further damage by reducing protein loss.

Panthenol (Pro-vitamin B5): Improves hair elasticity and protects against breakage.

Top Shampoos for Damaged Hair

Well Straight Professional Shampoo This keratin-based shampoo is specifically formulated to repair severely damaged hair. It smooths frizz, strengthens strands, and restores shine with every wash. Ideal for chemically treated or heat-damaged hair.

Olaplex No. 4 Bond Maintenance Shampoo Renowned for its bond-repairing technology, Olaplex No. 4 is a favorite among professionals. It strengthens hair from the inside out, making it perfect for those with bleached or color-treated hair.

Moroccanoil Moisture Repair Shampoo Packed with argan oil and keratin, this shampoo works wonders on dry and damaged hair. It not only restores hydration but also adds a luxurious shine.

L'Oréal Professionnel Absolut Repair Shampoo It is gentle enough for daily use and leaves your hair feeling silky and strong.

Pureology Strength Cure Shampoo Its key ingredients include keravis and astaxanthin, which repair breakage and enhance shine.

How to Choose the Right Shampoo

When selecting a shampoo for damaged hair, keep these tips in mind:

Hair Type: Consider your specific hair needs—whether it’s color-treated, fine, or curly.

Ingredients: Look for shampoos with hydrating and strengthening ingredients like those mentioned above.

Avoid Sulfates: Sulfates can strip your hair of its natural oils, worsening the damage. Opt for sulfate-free shampoos for gentler cleansing.

Tips for Maximizing Results

Using a shampoo alone might not be enough to fully repair your hair. Complement your routine with the following tips:

Use a Conditioner: Pair your shampoo with a deep-conditioning treatment to lock in moisture.

Weekly Hair Masks: Incorporate a hydrating mask into your routine for extra nourishment.

Limit Heat Styling: Reduce the use of straighteners, curling irons, and blow dryers.

Trim Split Ends: Regular trims prevent further splitting and improve the overall appearance of your hair.

Conclusion

Damaged hair doesn’t have to be permanent. With the right shampoo and care routine, you can revive your strands and bring back their natural beauty. Whether you choose Well Straight Professional Repair & Hydrate Shampoo or another option, prioritize products with nourishing and strengthening ingredients. Remember, consistency is key. Treat your hair with the love and care it deserves, and soon, you'll notice healthier, shinier locks.

#best shampoo for damaged hair #keratin shampoo #best hair serum

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fuhdubai · 16 days ago

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WHAT IS GASTROESOPHAGEAL REFLUX DISEASE (GERD)

Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) is when the stomach acid rushes back into the tube that connects your mouth and stomach regularly (esophagus). Acid reflux can irritate the lining of your esophagus. It can create hurdles in your day-to-day life and eating choices.

Many people suffer from acid reflux gastric problem symptoms. GERD is defined as a mild acid reflux occurring a minimum of twice a week or moderate to severe acid reflux occurring at least once a week. Most people can control their GERD symptoms with simple lifestyle modifications and over-the-counter medications. However, some patients with GERD may require stronger medicines or surgery to alleviate symptoms.

PREVALENCE IN MIDDLE EAST

It is estimated chat between 8. 7 percent and 33.1 percent of the population in the Middle Ease suffer from the disease, which is on the rise in the region and across the Western world.

As per studies, the prevalence of GERD is noted among approximately 8.7-33.1% of the population in the Middle East. Over the previous decade, the UAE has observed an increase in chronic GERD patients. The accompanying rise in obesity rates has been the most significant contributor to the dramatic rise in GERD.

MORE ABOUT GERD

GERD is also often known as chronic acid reflux, and is defined by symptoms and/or tissue damage caused by recurrent or extended exposure of the esophageal lining to acidic contents from the stomach. It happens when the lower esophageal sphincter (LES) fails to seal off the esophagus from the stomach. Simply put – it is the burning sensation in your chest moving up to your throat, that usually mimics the symptoms of a normal acidity.

Almost everyone suffers from acid reflux at some point in their lives. It is very common to have acid reflux and heartburn on occasion. However, if you suffer acid reflux/heartburn more than twice a week for several weeks, consume heartburn meds and antacids regularly, and if your symptoms persist, you may have GERD. In such cases, you should visit and get treated by a doctor. This is important, because GERD symptoms can elevate and can also progress into more severe problems, even cancer.

CAUSES & SYMPTOMS OF GERD

There is no single cause of GERD. It normally occurs when the entire system in your digestive system is not working efficiently. To further explain it: the LES is a circular ring of muscle located at the bottom of the esophagus. When it is functioning properly, it relaxes and opens when you swallow. After that it tightens and shuts again. Acid reflux occurs when this LES fails to tighten or shut appropriately. This causes the digestive juices and other stomach contents to move up your esophagus.

MAJOR RISK FACTORS IN THE UAE

Other possible reasons include lying down soon after having a large meal, regularly having large meals, or hiatal hernia.

SYMPTOMS OF GERD

HEART BURN

ACID REFLUX

DIFFICULTY SWALLOWING

NAUSEA AND VOMITING

ABDOMINAL PAIN

RASPIRATORY PROBLEMS

Acid reflux is the most common symptom of GERD. Acid reflux can create a burning sensation in your chest that can move to your neck and throat. This sensation is commonly referred to as heartburn. If you suffer from acid reflux, you may experience a sour or bitter taste at the back of your tongue. It may also cause food or drink to be regurgitated from your stomach into your mouth. Other GERD symptoms typically include chest pain, nausea, difficulty swallowing, bad breath, etc.

DIAGNOSIS OF GERD

GERD is often diagnosed by a combination of clinical symptoms, reaction to acid suppression, and objective testing through upper endoscopy and esophageal pH monitoring. How to cure gerd permanently? Your doctor may order the following tests to confirm a diagnosis of GERD or to check for complications:

Ambulatory acid probe test – This test monitors the amount of acid in your stomach over 24 hours. Your doctor will insert a catheter, which is a long, thin, flexible tube, via your nose and down your throat. You will wear a tiny gadget that measures the amount of acid that enters your esophagus or throat from your stomach. Your doctor may also implant a tiny capsule-shaped device into the wall of your esophagus. It detects acid and delivers signals to a small gadget worn by the patient. It will fall out of your esophagus and travel through your stool in around 2 days.

X-rays – They are taken after you sip a chalky liquid that covers and fills the interior lining of your digestive tract. Your doctor can see a silhouette of your esophagus, stomach, and upper intestine owing to the coating. You may also be asked to take a barium tablet to assist identify an esophageal narrowing that is interfering with swallowing.

Esophageal Manometry – This test monitors the rhythmic muscular contractions in your esophagus while you swallow. Esophageal manometry also evaluates the coordination and force exerted by your esophageal muscles. Your doctor will insert a long, thin tube into your esophagus, to assess how it moves and how much acid it pushes upward.

Upper gastrointestinal (GI) endoscopy – It is a process in which a doctor uses an endoscope – a flexible tube equipped with a camera – to examine the lining of your upper GI tract, which includes your stomach, esophagus, and duodenum. A doctor may get biopsies during upper GI endoscopy by putting a device through the endoscope to collect small bits of tissue from the lining of your esophagus. The tissue will be examined under a microscope by a pathologist. Doctors may conduct an upper GI endoscopy to search for GERD complications or other conditions that may be causing your symptoms.

LIFESTYLE CHANGES & PREVENTIVE MEASURES

Instead of eating large portions a few times a day, eat smaller, regular meals

Obtain and sustain a healthy weight

Avoid wearing clothes that are too tight around the waist. They can squeeze your stomach and force acid up into your esophagus

Before going to bed, try not to consume anything. Go to bed at least three hours after you've eaten

Quit smoking

LIFESTYLE CHANGES & PREVENTIVE MEASURES

Doctors recommend that you undertake a few lifestyle changes to help reduce your GERD symptoms. Some changes that may help, are:

Instead of eating large portions, eat smaller, regular meals throughout the day

Reduce the amount of fat in your diet by cutting back on butter, oils, salad dressings, gravy, fatty meats, and full-fat dairy products like sour cream, cheese, and whole milk

Obtain and sustain a healthy weight

When sleeping, use wooden blocks beneath the bedposts to elevate the head of the bed 6 to 8 inches. Extra pillows are generally ineffective

Avoid wearing clothes that are very tight around the waist. They can squeeze your stomach and force acid up into your esophagus

Sit upright when eating and remain upright (sitting or standing) for 45 to 60 minutes thereafter

Before going to bed, try not to consume anything. Go to bed at least three hours after you have eaten

Quit smoking

Eliminate any potential trigger foods from your diet. You can identify triggers by being aware of what you eat and if acid reflux follows it

TREATMENT

If diagnosed with GERD, your doctor gastroenterology specialist would most likely advise you to start with lifestyle changes and over-the-counter medications. If you do not feel better after a few weeks, your doctor may suggest prescription medicine or surgery.

Over-the-counter or prescription medications include:

ANTACIDS

Antacids may be prescribed by doctors to treat minor heartburn and GERD symptoms. They are available without a prescription. Mild symptoms can be alleviated with antacids. However, unless you have discussed your antacid usage with your doctor, you should not use these medications every day or for severe symptoms. These medications may cause diarrhea or constipation as adverse effects.

H2 RECEPTOR BLOCKERS

The doctor may prescribe acid-reducing drugs for persistent reflux and heartburn. These medications include H2 blockers, which assist to inhibit acid secretion in the stomach.

PROTON PUMP INHIBITORS (PPIS)

PPIs also decrease the amounts of acid produced by your stomach. As they perform better than H2 blockers, they are more beneficial when it comes to healing the esophageal lining, which can get damaged when someone has GERD for a long period. PPIs, like H2 blockers, are available over-the-counter, and your doctor can also prescribe a stronger dose.

SURGERY FOR SEVERE GERD

Medication and lifestyle changes are often used to treat GERD. If none of these methods work or you are unable to take medications for a long period, surgery may be the best option. Some common surgeries include:

FUNDOPLICATION

The most prevalent GERD surgery is fundoplication. In many cases, it results in long-term relief of GERD symptoms. A surgeon sews the top of the stomach around the end of the esophagus during the surgery to increase pressure to the lower esophageal sphincter and assist prevent reflux.

TRANSORAL INCISIONLESS FUNDOPLICATION (TIF)

A newer version of this procedure wraps the stomach around the LES with plastic fasteners using an endoscope (a tiny tube with a camera). It is less invasive than a traditional fundoplication.

STRETTA PROCEDURE

The doctor will insert a small tube into the esophagus that will employ low-radiofrequency heat to reshape the LES.

LINX SURGERY

LINX surgery involves wrapping a ring of magnetic titanium beads across the intersection of your stomach and esophagus. The magnetic attraction of the beads maintains it slack enough to allow food to pass through, but tight enough to prevent reflux.

BARIATRIC SURGERY

If you have GERD and are obese, your doctor may advise you to have weight-loss surgery, often known as bariatric surgery. The most commonly recommended one is gastric bypass surgery. Bariatric surgery can help you lose weight while also alleviating GERD symptoms.

PROGNOSIS

Acid reflux (GERD) has a fair prognosis in mild to moderate cases. Chronic instances usually respond to prescription medications, but severe cases may need surgery to avoid significant consequences. The symptoms of GERD can be managed. You should be able to control your GERD symptoms, if you change your eating and sleeping habits and use medicines as needed.

If you encounter acid reflux/heartburn more than twice a week for several weeks and your symptoms persist, visit your healthcare professional.

#best hospital #gastroenterology #gastro #dubai

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