#How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Buy a Nice Diary

[aestheticitii]

the thought of roy and lilina dancing after roy convinces his parents to have a wedding reception with their friends...

they talk about how lilina was hoping to get the bouquet for herself, after she comments that seeing her parents getting married would be so so wonderful. they talk about how she's seriously considering re-entering next year for that reason, because askr is the only time she can relive the times when her family was together, just like roy

and roy offers to pair up with her or otherwise help her in her quest. because he knows how much it would mean to her, because her very-obviously-in-love parents are half the reason she wants to get married

when she ends up hinting at who it is that she'd want her fairytale wedding with, he picks it up immediately because they used to talk about it all the time. how could they not?

after all, roy's dad leaves little love notes for his mom, and his mom rolls her eyes lovingly before carefully pasting them into a diary she keeps. she's got at least fifteen of those by the time she dies because he gives out at least one per day and he gets one kiss per so sometimes he writes more. after they spar, if she even just compliments him, his dad feels like he was the one who won their bout instead because he's so happy about it

she buys him a gift every time she heads to town because "it reminds me of you" but they're very, very loosely related things, so much so that even she can't recall what connection they have to her husband. she just thinks about him a lot and it shows in the way she accidentally slips into praising him any time someone says something remotely nice about him

meanwhile, everyone's quietly scared of lilina's mom because they know her dad will be furious if they disrespect or hurt her in any way—he's her biggest supporter and it's something she mentions often whenever lilina talks about wanting to get married. "find someone who supports you like your father supports me. and make sure to support him just as much."

and her mom goes out of her way to give him a singular wild flower—sometimes a weed—she found every day to let him know she's thinking of him. he keeps a list of their descriptions. anytime she complains about any sort of pain, he'll take it as an excuse to carry her around and even though she acts like she'd be fine if he didn't, she makes no moves to let go, even when she's teased about it

but like back to their dream wedding—lilina's dream wedding really is just what they both wanted, what they both talked about as kids. and roy's never really thought about it too hard, because in the back of his mind, he's always assumed it's going to be lilina walking down the aisle and well, he's already talked about it to her

she kisses him on the cheek when the dance ends and he asks, hesitating slightly before telling him that she's always liked him, and apologizes for taking the moment away from his parents

he asks her to dinner instead

lilina never gets to answer because everyone starts taking pictures with the bride and groom, and of course, lyn and eliwood insist on roy being in most of them.

but when he shows up at the place he mentioned, she's waiting for him.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Four)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Three ※※※※※ Chapter Five

I absorbed and enjoyed the silence that was hovering around my house. I grabbed a glass of juice and sat down on the couch on the balcony. My mom left early for work, and Leah even tried to take me along for a photo shoot she was going to do in Venice. But, honestly, I'm not in the mood for dragging plaster casts around under the sun.

Not to mention that it is good to have moments alone to get my head straight. I know that in a little while it will be even harder to escape from these outings, I mean, I know I have to get back to my routine, but as long as I can avoid it, I will.

I put the juice on the table and pick up my diary. Unlike yesterday, I open it to the first page, like a book, and start reading. I go through a few pages about my feelings, about what I planned about my future, about my parents' divorce.

"I know it was inevitable. Anyone could tell how distant they were, I just didn't want it to be like that, that she suffered the same way I did. And I didn't want to feel that anger from him. But deep down, I know it's for the best.".

A few more pages telling about the scout who had seen me at the mall, the first photo shoot, the first runway show for a small clothing brand. Then arriving at the day I met Ashton.

"That one nobody expected/imagined/sought for. Ashton Irwin is my yoga partner!!! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh my gosh, I never would have imagined that. I was dying of nervousness about being the new student, then he comes and offers to be my duo and oh gosh, he's amazing. Super fun and nice. AND HE CALLED ME UP FOR COFFEE ON SUNDAY.

" Ashton and I sat at a table on the sidewalk. Under the table, I snapped my fingers in nervousness as I read the menu.

- Do you already know what you are going to order? - he asks. I pout and nod my head in denial.

- All I know is that I don't want espresso. - I comment.

- Can I recommend one? I think you'll like it, it's whipped with cream and chocolate, very sweet. - He points to the menu after I accept his suggestion.

- It amazes me how good you are at coffee. - I joke, making him laugh.

- I like coffee. I once took a tour of a coffee farm in the countryside right here in California.

Coffee becomes our first topic. Because he knows and understands coffee, Ashton convinces me to do a tasting at a promising coffee shop in Brentwood the next morning. It was not the kind of program I am used to doing, but everything is different now, my life has changed and so have my types of programs.

- You are lost being my friend, I will call you all morning for breakfast together. - Ashton comments as we drive along the sidewalks of Los Angeles.

My body shakes when it hears the word "friend". I still wasn't sure if I could consider Ash a friend, but now, I'm happy to know that I can and that he considers me too. "

The memory warms and cheers me up, giving me more desire to read and remember.

I don't realize how much I was smiling until my cheeks start to hurt. After that day, his name becomes very frequent, until it joins Leah's.

"I don't know how to explain this girl. She came in so confident and nose to nose, I was sure she would be insufferable, then she opened her mouth and all I could think was 'where has she been all my life? ' And I don't want to get my hopes up or be a pain in the ass, but she's also a model and she talked about me going to her father's agency and if that works out? it's one of the biggest agencies in the world, I'm going to take off. God, if this is your will...".

I laugh at the following narrations that already involve Ashton, Noah and Leah. I can't remember what is written, but my imagination gives me a warm, happy feeling in my body. And if the reality has been as fun and nice as what I imagined, then it was very good.

I feel my body shiver and a chill take over my stomach when I see Luke's name for the first time. I cut the pace of my reading, preparing myself for what was to come. I reach for another glass of juice, buying time and even courage to read the rest.

"I had already noticed him looking at me, I just didn't want to believe he was looking at me, and it was perfect like that, until Ashton brought him in. It's one thing to know who Luke is, it's another to talk to him. In the end it wasn't so bad. I guess. I just stared for the first hour at anything but him, but I guess he must have missed it. Now I'm in the dilemma of if he liked me, I mean, we spent four hours talking and nothing, no kiss, no phone exchange. NOTHING."

I laugh at myself. I can perfectly see myself being embarrassed by him and not being able to look him in the eye.. If I could go back in time, I would tell this Marnie that Luke really liked her, even though I only had a basis in videos and pictures.

I pick up my cell phone and open insta, going to the date that marked my diary. 07/06/18. It was Ashton's birthday party. I flip to the side and see a picture taken in Hawaii, with the caption "The one where we got lost". I turn the page and find that trip.

"I know I am committing one of the biggest follies of my life and deep down, I don't even know why. That's a lie, I do, but that's not the point. In fact, it is, but that's not what I'm going to talk about. Again, it is. The point is: I can't believe that at the last minute I agreed to go on a trip to Hawaii with a bunch of people I barely know. Except Ash, Noah and Leah. And P.S. Monday is his birthday. It only gets better.”

Apparently things between Luke and me went pretty quickly. I read a few more pages seeing that on his birthday, we had our first kiss and from then on everything happened too fast and messy.

I write about many fights and reconciliations. Both he and I, didn't want anything serious, but both he and I, couldn't stay away from each other and there was my reason.

"There is a good big part of all this blocking that I believe is because of what happened and because of me trying to pretend it didn't happen. Dr. Prescott says that if I don't put it out there and don't talk about it, it will consume me. 'Talking about our fears, worries and problems makes them smaller and easier to defeat.'

Besides my parents, no one else knows about that day."

I run my eyes quickly down the page, seeing that that one was about Stephen's cheating.

I close the journal in fear. I don't know what is coming, and I don't know if I have the courage to read it. It is one thing to hear about it from others, from their view and opinion, even if it is not on purpose. It's another to hear about it from my view, from what I've been through.

I have no doubt that there are things in these next pages that maybe even my parents don't know. Things and feelings that I have kept solely and exclusively to myself and I don't know if I am ready to face this, again.

I put down the diary and go in search of something else. Luckily for me, my guardian angel, aka Leah, calls me.

“Are you busy? I thought we could have lunch together. What do you think?” she bombards me, not letting me say hello.

“Hi to you too. No, I'm not busy, just reading my diary.” I run my hand over the cover, keeping in the back of my mind what awaits me. “ I'll take lunch.”

Before Leah can answer, I hear a muffled argument on the phone and wait for the fight to end.

“Sorry, but Noah is asking if he can come along.” she asks, without patience.

“Of course he can.” I hold my laughter, imagining the two of them fighting on the other end of the line.

“Okay, in a few minutes we'll be there. Kisses.”

I say goodbye to her and decide not to read the diary again. The doctor himself told me not to force myself into anything. I set the table and wait for the two of them to arrive.

After forty minutes, the doorbell rings. I make way for my friend and analyze the tall, muscular man behind her. Unlike my memory, the Noah of today has his hair well shaved and brunette, like his sister's. His green eyes fill with tears when he sees me crack a smile, and like his twin, he doesn't wait for permission and hugs me.

“Don't ever do that again, young lady. What a shitty world this would be without you!” he squeezes me before showering me with kisses, all over my face.

Leah turns and pulls him away from me, making me laugh. I follow them both into the kitchen and look at the bags they brought, excited.

“We made sure to stop by The Palm and pick up your favorite dish.” I didn't even know that I had a favorite dish at The Palm. But when Leah opens a box and I feel my mouth water when I see that noodle with shrimp, I realize how little I know myself.

“Have I ever told you that I love you?” I ask softly, with a smile.

We start lunch and today my attention was on Noah, after all he was the new thing. I listen to him tell about the day we met, when he began to advise my career with his sister, and how things have been going since the accident.

“You don't have to give any interviews if you don't want to.” he assures me once again.

I still don't know how to deal with this "public figure" business, but deep down I feel a need to give a "satisfaction" to everyone who knows me. Noah has already sent some notes about my condition, but I know that I will have to appear on some channel in the future.

We changed the subject and started talking about my amnesia. Noah was not very happy that my first memory was his hair fiasco. I commented that I was reading my diary and asked about some events.

“Are we really lost in Hawaii?” they both started to laugh and agree.

“That day I wanted to hit Mark. I was getting very angry that he could not accept that he was reading the wrong map. Not to mention the car dying and us pushing," Noah comments.

“Mark was never good with maps. He says himself that he was a lousy Boy Scout.” Leah says before drying her third glass of water.

“Who is Mark?” I question.

“Mark is an ex-lover of mine. At the time we were chatting and he had the house in Hawaii. One thing led to another and in the end he went along.” Leah ends with a frown.

“And why did we let him drive then?” I ask, full of curiosity. They look at me as if I know the answer. Or, as if I should, but I just raise my eyebrows, saying nothing.

“Because it's Mark.” Noah shrugs. “He likes to be in control of everything.”

“The one who was definitely happy with us there was that guy who owns the coconut stand.” Leah says.

So there it is, the little wooden stand, with a pile of coconuts in front of it. A short man, probably about 50 years old, laughing at our misfortune while selling the fruit to us. Images begin to form in my mind.

" “- Look there.” Kyleen and I focus on the little man laughing as he takes the money from Michael's hand. “He sure is very happy with us standing here.” Leah says.

“Of course he is. We already bought twelve coconuts from him. Bad little man.” I make a face.

“We're not lost. It's just a shortcut.” we cut off eye contact with the stand and focus on Mark arguing with Noah and Ashton.

Leah looked at her lover in total disbelief at what she had gotten herself into. If regret could kill. The next moment Mark stomps his foot on the floor, like a child with a temper tantrum. At that moment, Calum looks at me with wide eyes.

I look away so that he doesn't see me laughing. Kiki, who was behind me, slaps me to stop, but this only makes me want to laugh more. I hide my face in her arm and in the end, my laughter gets out of hand. Both she and Calum start laughing with me, causing the boys to look at us curiously.

It takes no more than five minutes for Mike to join in the laughter with us and soon everyone else was laughing except Mark. Even the little bad man was laughing. It was the worst thing about us being lost, but that's what was happening and it couldn't be anything but comical, even though it was sad too. ”

“Of course he was happy. He sold about fifteen coconuts for us.” I don't even try to control my smile. Once again I remembered, and this is more than great.

The twin couple in front of me crack a big smile too, and soon they are clapping their hands and stamping their feet on the floor, making noise. I clap my hands with them in celebration.

“She is coming back.” Noah comes around the table, hugging me from behind and again showering me with kisses.

I was never one to have many friends. Usually it was just Bethany and Stephen, and a girl in my music class, but I don't know if I can consider her that, after all, we only talked during class and it was all very unrelated.

The point is that I have always envied those people who managed to have a large number of friends, and friends really, not just colleagues. Friends who call you for everything, who are always by your side, who enjoy your company, and who consider you family.

In this moment, with just Noah and Leah, I can see that I finally have these friends that I have wanted so much and without having to pretend to be something that I am not, without having to buy their attention, as I felt I needed it with Bethany. And if I'm happy like this with just the two of them, I can't wait to see the others.

“So, you said you were reading your diary, did you remember anything else?” Leah asks excitedly.

All the happiness and euphoria that had surrounded my body disappears. The bloody page with the bloody day comes back into my mind. They both notice my mood drop.

“I remembered a day when I went to have coffee with Ash, but…” I play with the edge of my cup, trying not to get too much into that energy. “I found a day where I tell about what happened.” I look at them, who are serious and attentive.

“Do you want us to read it with you?” Leah holds my hand across the table, gently patting it.

I shake my head positively and point to the notebook on the coffee table in the living room. I watch her return with the notebook and hand it to me. I open it to the marked page and stare at my handwriting again.

"I haven't had the courage to tell either Ashton, Leah, or much less Luke. I can't tell if I'm ashamed of it or just afraid of it happening again. The problem is that it's really starting to get to me, to the point where I get irritated when I see Luke and Leah talking and it shouldn't be like that. So I need to get it all out so that I can start over.

It was our anniversary. I snuck out of my work to see Stephen at his house. I wanted to deliver his gift soon. Two streets before his house I ran into Noelle, his mother, and told her I wanted to surprise him, so she told me to get the key under the third vase and go in.

Maybe it would have been better just to ring the doorbell and not have to see it. I was very quiet so as not to be discovered, and in the end, I was the one who discovered something."

My racing heart hurts from beating so hard. I can't keep my breathing normal, holding it at various times. I feel like it's a suspense book where no one wants to find out what's behind the door of the abandoned house, but needs to, in order to continue the story.

I notice in some letters and words the ink smudged and I know it was from my tears and it only hurts me more.

"There is no word to describe the disgust, pain, and anger of seeing him and her in bed naked. My until then boyfriend, and my until then best friend.

And what only made it worse was that she didn't even try to explain herself, didn't show an ounce of regret, even if it was a pretense. Nothing. While he tried to say it was nothing like that, Bethany still says it had been going on for a long time."

I close the journal angrily and throw it away, stopping on the other side of the long table. The lump in my throat gets bigger, but I don't want to cry, not for this and not again.

Deep down, I have always had a flea behind my ear with the two of them. The countless rides Stephen insisted on giving her. The way she always motivated me to fight with him, for reasons I thought were small and insignificant. But it was my first serious relationship, what did I know about dating, right? Bethany, on the other hand, had dated seriously twice.

It had always been there, I just didn't want to see it.

“I always suspected it and never, never wanted to believe it. After all, he was my boyfriend and she was my best friend. They wouldn't be able to.” I let out a humorless laugh.

The twins look at me fearfully, as if I were a mother scolding them.

“But you know what the worst part is? I believed him. He looked me in the face and said that nothing happened. That Luke was to blame for our breakup! How stupid of me!” I shout, picking up the diary and throwing it further away, as if it would hurt Stephen.

“Wait, what?” Leah speaks loudly.

I look at her startled and realize what I said. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I didn't want anyone to know about the meeting.

“You met with Stephen? When?” she turns the table around, coming closer. I swallow dryly.

“Yesterday morning," I begin softly, but it was enough for Leah to cover her eyes with her hands and snort. Noah laid his head on his arms, sighing as well. “I was confused and needed to hear and see him.” I start to defend myself.

“After everything your mother told you about him?” Leah asks.

“And you think I would believe her? Would you? With amnesia on account?” I retort. Leah takes a deep breath and denies it with her head, giving me reason.

“But you could have told, or asked, I don't know.” Noah ponders.

“Nobody would have let me, I know nobody likes him and rightly so.” I give in.

“That explains a lot.” Leah comments softly, but loud enough for me to hear.

“Explains what?” I ask confused.

She looks at Noah, who nods, giving her the green light. Like me, she swallows dryly before she begins.

“Explain why Luke is so grouchy and weird. Not wanting to come see you.” he answers, poking at the seam of the chair.

NO! No! No! No! No! Please, no. He can't have seen.

“You have to take me to his house.” I ask, heading for the hall.

“What?” the two shout following me.

“I need to talk to him. Now!” I shout the last part, putting on a jacket with some difficulty.

“But why?” Noah helps me.

“Because I think he saw something that wasn't supposed to happen and got it wrong.” I open the door, going to call the elevator.

“Oh, no!” they understand and soon follow me.

Things between Luke and me may be messed up, but the last thing I want him to think is that I cheated on him.

[llendrinall]

Omg if an adult Draco woke up in 5 year old Draco's body and he wanted to make his father's life a living hell. Id read that, please please tell us the stuff he'd get up to. (as well as the stuff you would get up to at school, please)

It would be a nightmare for all involved. Draco, who had fought so much, suffered so much in order to atone not only for his mistakes but those of his family… and he finds himself back! All progress lost! He had broken his back, literally (it was a really dumb idea and Harry was very angry with him) to get Granger to warm up to him. Longbottom had forgiven him! (And Draco doesn’t even know what exactly he did to merit that). Harry had…

Harry had kissed him the weekend before.

And now he is back in his five-year-old body. Not even eleven, when he could see Harry and make a difference. No, he is five, and Draco cries and rages so much that he develops a fever and is incoherent for a week.

Afterwards… Well, you know how parents pride themselves in their children’s achievements? How parents want their children to be better than them? Lucius has found there is a limit to it. Having his son be more eloquent and advanced than any other child his age is great. Having his five-year-old son tell him with impeccable grammar that he, Lucius, will bring the ruin of their house is not great at all. Draco looks at him with a cherubic face and eyes that are burning grey, accusing him of crimes that even Narcissa doesn’t know about. Crimes that Lucius had barely begun to plan.

It is terrifying.

It is well known that what muggles call “demonic possessions” are nothing more than a wizard having a little too much fun with an imperius. But when Draco grabs Lucius’ wand, goes down to their hidden vault and, and, and opens it! He- he just casts the spell! Draco is five and he is doing magic that many adults struggle with! Oh, then Lucius wants to believe there might be something else.

(Out of all the forbidden things in their vault Draco went straight to the diary the Dark Lord had entrusted Lucius. Straight to it. And he destroyed it that very same night.)

“You failed.” Draco says, hot and angry. He is so pale and soft and full of fire. “You failed at everything and I had to take your place. I was given an impossible task as punishment to you, threatened not only with my death but the whole family, because of you!”

“Tenses, darling.” Says Narcissa softly. Narcissa is blind to the monster they have in the house. She doesn’t see it. She is convinced that there is nothing wrong with Draco, that he is just a very powerful seer who is a bit confused with timelines and verb tenses.

Draco is not a seer. Lucius is sure of that because if he were, then he would know that Lucius is thinking of… cleaning up the line. Narcissa is still young and she can give him another son or Lucius can remarry.

He is not a seer, but one day over breakfast Draco looks up and says “It won’t work. Whatever you are plotting, it won’t work. I can’t recall a single plan of yours that worked longer than a month. Kicking Dumbledore from Hogwarts, bribing the Ministry, bringing back the Dark Lord. It never works.”

So Lucius packs up his things and leaves the country quietly.

Narcissa is… shocked, which means she is furious, betrayed, and briefly terrified that she might lose her income and secure position. But once she is reassured that she still holds the house and the fortune she takes a big breath, internally swears that next time she comes across Lucius she will castrate hex him, and steps up into the role of Lady of the House.

She also listens to Draco. She insists that what Draco says has happened is yet to come, but she listens.

Draco wants to get Harry at once, but it is not so easy to find a seemingly normal muggle family in the sea of actually normal muggle families living an hour away from London. In the meantime, Narcissa visits Flourish and Blotts every day for a week until she finally gets there at the same time than the Weasleys. Then it’s a question of dropping a handkerchief and waiting for the bespectacled Weasley to fetch it for her and then, well, he is so eloquent and polite that Narcissa insists on buying young, Percival, was it? She shall buy him a quill. Any quill he wants. Don’t look at the price and just pick whatever quill you like best, young man. You must have a proper quill to write your letters.  

Molly Weasley would rather drag herself through shards of glass than accept a gift from a Malfoy; but one look at Percy tells her that if she takes this from him, if she takes his once chance of having something New and Fancy and Just For Him, he will hate her forever. So Molly relents (as Narcissa knew she would because mothers are predictable). Two weeks later Draco has a play date with Ronald.

“I think you should play Quidditch, Draco, dear.” She says, because horrendous as Lucius’ attitude was, she does recognize that Draco can be a bit off-putting. There isn’t that much talking with Quidditch and Draco is clever enough to let the young Weasley win two out of three times.

It takes thirteen months to find Harry and by then Narcissa has got a foot in both the Weasley’s and Longbottom’s houses. The latter was an excruciating effort and is still a very much work in progress. Narcissa had to let that bulldog of Augusta Lonbottom seer her crying and even now they are one wrong word away of losing all progress, but the children are talking and that was the goal.

She is weighting the pros of buying a house near the Dursleys and just moving there versus the advantage of frequently inviting the Weasley kids to the manor, when she sees the anxious look in her son’s face, a look of urgency and desperation and…

“Draco,” she cries, softly and sadly. Beautiful Draco, six years and two months and with a face like a silver coin. “Draco, dear, do you love this boy? I don’t mean like you love Mummy. Do you…”

“I know what you mean, Mother.” Draco says, serious, he is always so serious. She supposes he has to be to contain the fire burning inside. “I am not a child, I have told you. And I love him with all my heart.”

Oh.

“Then, you shouldn’t meet so soon.” Narcissa says firmly, although inside her heart is aching and she doesn’t know why. “Children who grow together tend to see each other as siblings. Why, your Great Aunt Marthia grew up with Gaius Mulciber, her fiancée, and their marriage was very difficult. I think he tried to poison her in order to marry his lover, or the other way around. I can’t remember. In any case, it is better to wait.”

But Draco doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to wait. He doesn’t want Harry to spend a single day more than necessary in that house where he was miserable and unloved. Whatever it takes, he says. Whatever it takes, even if the price is not loving Draco. Let’s rescue him now.

Narcissa explains that waiting would be much better. There are other things they have to keep in mind, like the return of the Dark Lord and the fact that Harry is linked to him. It can’t be that bad, the muggle house. Just bad enough that Harry will jump easily and eagerly to the wizarding world once it’s presented to him, so he will be all the more willing to sacrifice his…

“oh”, Narcissa says, very softly, not even an exclamation mark or a capital.

“oh”, she repeats.

Internally, she thinks “that bastard”. Dumbledore, of course. It is well known that Dumbledore wants Voldemort’s destruction at whatever cost.

“Draco you have to get yourself invited to the Longbottom’s house.” Narcissa says. Something in her tone finally cuts Draco’s unending cries that they have to get Harry, he will do it himself even if he is just one meter and ten centimeters tall.

Draco is a charming b-. Draco is charming, boy, child or adult trapped in a kid’s body. He gets an invitation and a layout of the Longbottom’s house. Narcissa then dons a pair of sensible country boots that she doesn’t mind getting dirty with mud and barely sleeps for the next ten days. Her skin suffers from it greatly, mind you.

By day three she has successfully stolen the rat Scabbers from the Burrow. She was going to switch it with a real pet rat, but it escapes and she can’t go chasing it. Then she begins a ten-days terror program on the Longbottoms. Footprints on the flowerbeds, upsetting the warding charms on the doors, definite signs of tampering in the chimney… Augusta Longbototm is many things, but she is certainly not a fool and by day four she is at the Ministry demanding help form the Auror office. It takes five freaking days for them to send a couple or aurors down. Narcissa is incensed on her behalf.

She waits until Dumbledore sends Moody down to the house. Moody casts extra protection charms and lays some traps and that night Narcissa pushes a stunned Pettigrew into what seems the nastiest of all of the traps. The one Dumbledore told Moody not to use but he still prepared the moment he left. In goes Pettigrew, stunned and wounded because Narcissa is under a lot of stress and she might have tortured him a bit.

Narcissa and Draco are there to greet Sirius, their BELOVED cousin (all capitals so no one dares says otherwise) when he is released from Azkaban. She has him shaved, washed and all set in a nice London house before Dumbledore can even begin to say “unfit for taking care of an underage boy”. At six years and four months Harry leaves the Dursleys and moves with his godfather.  

 And then it’s all nice for a while until Pettigrew escapes Azkaban, meets Lucius in the continent and together bring Voldemort back. There is a war. People grow more and more afraid of Draco and he has more attempts on his life than Harry ever had. Narcissa kills Bellatrix and doesn’t even think about it.

And, one day, a young handsome gentleman with shiny black hair arrives accompanied by a sullen lanky young man with streaks of pink in his hair. Draco labels the lanky young man as the ugliest adult he has even seen. The handsome young gentleman introduces himself as Harry Potter and asks if perhaps Draco remembers him?

The burning fire inside Draco disappears. There is only hot air and ash.

The ugly lanky young man is adult Draco, of course, governed by an eight-year-old who has completely destroyed his hair.  Harry, his Harry, is just amused at Draco’s indignation that they allowed this to happen. Apparently Child Draco was a handful to deal with.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to find you,” handsome gentleman Harry says, and he is so warm and beautiful that Draco wants to cry. He doesn’t even care about how ugly is adult body is because once he is back in it Harry grabs his hands and doesn’t let go until they are back home.

[mhdiaries]

13 Wishes Howleen Wolf Diary

On the 18th of July

Mom barked me out of bed this morning saying that I needed to get out of her fur for a few hours. It was that or help her with housework, and since yesterday I spent all day sweeping the attic.... sooo much dust!... I was out of the doggie-door before she could say boo. It’s hard not to feel screeching jealous of Clawd and Clawdeen, cause they always seem to be busy during the summer while I’m stuck at home playing cobweb cleanup. It’s tough being the little sister of two of the most popular monsters on campus - Clawdeen has her pack of friends, and Clawd has his bluddies and Draculaura, too. Meanwhile I texted my beast friend, Twyla, to see if she wanted to come lurk in the park with me today, but she can be pretty nocturnal. Not that I mind moonlighting with her, but sometimes a ghoul wants to get out in the sun, yanno? I took my soccer ball and got some solo practice in, but it’s just not as clawsome by yourself... it made me feel kind of lame, actually. I did see Venus sitting by the trees at on end of the park, but it seemed like she was having a really intense conversation with the oaks and I didn’t want to interrupt. I like Venus, but you have to watch out for her when she’s on the environmental warpath, or she’ll totally talk your ear off. Anyway, after a little while I got distracted listening... okay, eavesdropping... on her (who knew trees had so much drama?) and kicked the ball onto the casketball court where some older monsters were playing. They got fangry, and I wound up packing up and going home with my tail between my legs. Now I wish I’d ignored them and kept playing, cause now I’m bored again. Sooo. Boooored. I’d even listen to Venus lecture me about the dangers of styrofoam... at least it would be something to do!

On the 23rd of July

It’s hard not to feel funky when everyone besides me has things figured out for themselves. Clawdeen has fashion and Clawd has sports, and they both seem to just know what they want. Mom and Dad say I shouldn’t compare myself to them, or anyone else, but that’s such parent advice that I don’t feel like it should count. Besides, it’s not like I don’t know what I want to do... well, okay, it IS that, but it’s also that I want to do everything?? Like, once I spent two weeks trying to make a viral video for FrightTube. Then the week after that I decided that it was totally my destiny to be a superstar singer. Then three weeks later I was totally focused on my future as a Howlympian athlete! And I haven’t stopped wanting to do any of that stuff, but it’s too hard to do it all, and impossible to pick only one, especially cause I don’t know what I’m really good at yet. I feel like I’m getting to a point where I choose or I lose. I mean, what if I discover my hidden talents too late to do anything with them? It’d be so, so tragic. That’s why I’ve been trying so much different stuff this year - music lessons, dance class, everything I can get my claws on. Something will click sooner or later, right?

On the 29th of July

Today I heard... okay maybe eavesdropped on... Draculaura telling Clawd about a big open mic poetry scream going on at the Coffin Bean at the end of the summer. I went on their web site page to check it out, and now I think I might want to try it out, too? I mean I’ve written some poetry, and I’m always accidentally rhyming all the time. And my hip-hop dance classes have totally infused me with the muse... see what I mean? Yeah... I think I want to do this! But I gotta text Twyla and see if she’ll come out for moral support. It’s at night, and the Coffin Bean is usually pretty dark, so she’ll have no excuse not to come - besides, she loves their cupquakes.

On the 30th of July

I finally talked Twyla into going to the Maul with me. If you let her she’d probably stay in the shadows all summer, but lucky for her I won’t let lurking boogiemen lie! We went to the fur salon, and I picked out some new colors for my ‘do - I’ve been letting it go natural lately, but that doesn’t stop me from switching up my style all the time. I wound up buying like five different colors because I couldn’t decide on just one. After that we split a big booberry smoothie at the food corpse and we talked for a long while. Well... mostly I talked, Twy listened, because she’s a clawsome listener. She let me howl about how was I supposed to pick what I wanted to do with the rest of my life if I couldn’t even pick a hair color? I asked her what she thought I should do, and she got this really freaky intense look, like she was thinking hard, and then she flicked my ear and said, “I think what you really want to do is plan out your whole life before you live it, and you can’t do that, so stop stressing out.” Which is both good advice and totally useless because you can’t stop stressing out just because you want to, like, when has that ever worked in all monster history? But I do feel better, somehow. I think it helped to just talk about it to someone who gets me and doesn’t laugh when I say dumb stuff. She also agreed to come cheer me on at the poetry scream. There’s a reason Twyla is my beastie. =)

On the 10th of August

Clawd and Clawdeen actually weren’t busy today for once. Even though they’re a pain in the fang, hanging with them can still be scary-fun. Sometimes. Clawd talked us into playing a pick-up soccer game in the backyard, and Clawdeen didn’t even get growly when she fell into one of the holes Clawd made along the fence... he likes to bury things in the dirt and dig them up later. I think it’s a boy thing. We’ve all got game, and later we did get into an argument about who had the most points - we’d said we weren’t keeping score, but no duh, of course we all were! But no one got their fur in a frizz about it for a change. After a while we were making up the biggest number we could think of and howling with laughter. Dad said later he almost didn’t want to call us inside for dinner because he loves seeing us act like one big happy pack. I think he misses when all my even bigger brothers and sisters were still at home... Mom teases that he’s got empty den syndrome. I miss my older brothers and sisters sometimes, too, but they aren’t that far away. (Plus, not that they’ve moved out, the wait for the bathroom is a LOT shorter.)

On the 13th of August

I think I’m getting cold paws. The poetry scream is in just a few days, and my brain has been going all over the place since I said I’d go. What if I get stage fright? What if I totally blank and forget the whole poem? What if I’m not even that good? ...Ugh, okay, I texted Twyla, and she convinced me not to give up the ghost. Plus she pointed out that since it’s open mic, I can always just show up and decided if I want to go ahead with it when I get there. Sometimes I wish I could borrow Clawdeen’s confidence, not just her clothes... she never seems scared of anything.

On the 18th of August

Whoa, I’m still shaking. The Coffin Bean was WAY more packed than I thought it would be. There had to be dozens of monsters there, and I was a total casket case even with my beastie at my side until I ran into Clawd and Draculaura. I sort of hadn’t told them I’d be there, so they were scary surprised to see me. And then they found out I was sort of thinking about maybe performing, they wouldn’t let me get away with not doing it. So I signed up and waited for my turn, even though I was so howling nervous I could barely hear the poets on before me, and then it was my turn. I was so wound up that my eyes were practically crossing with fright, but I saw my bro and Draculaura waving from the audience, and Twy giving me the claws-up, I sucked it up and read my poem. I had it memorized and gave it everything I had, and the monsters in the crowd really seemed to dig it. I didn’t like completely bring the house down, but when even the zombies slow-clapped at the end and Clawd whooped for me it felt just little bit epic. Then Draculaura when on with this mega-romantic and sweet poem and she had the whole audience wailing like banshees. Even I got a little teary-eyed, and Clawd was whimpering into his coffinchino... he made me promise not to tell anyone lol. Of course she won first place for the night - not that I’m moaning. She totally deserved it, and I came i third, which made me feel pretty clawsome about the whole thing. Even Clawd was patting me on the back and bragging that I was his little sis to anyone who’d listen... which was embarrassing, but whatever, kind of nice too. =) I gave Twyla the biggest hug for staying with me, too, especially since crowds are one of her fangups. I have to say, I really liked tackling my fears... it makes me think maybe I’m ready for a whole new me next year! Watch out, Monster High!

[joaquinfeed]

ABC’s of Arthur Fleck (fem!reader)

A/N: I’m not sure if this has been done before many times, so sorry if it’s repetitive. I saw this prompt list online and thought ‘why not?’ ALSO. I don’t know who to credit for the list. So, if you know…tell me and I’ll give credit where it’s due! :) 

A = affection (how affectionate are they in day to day life? Do they show affection publicly or keep that more in private?)

It’s no secret that Arthur is touch starved. He is always finding some way to show you his deep and meaningful affection for you. He’s not used to public display’s, and he likes to keep you all to himself, so he’ll typically opt for private moments over public ones. He absolutely adores playing with your fingers, placing soft kisses on your neck, or drawing patterns across your skin. He has to feel you to know that you’re really there.

B = best memory (what is the best memory they have with you)

Arthur finds something new every day that he swears will be his favorite memory. He cherishes every single moment with you, even the little arguments, because it all reminds him how much you love him. If he was forced to choose, he would say that his favorite memory is the first time he opened up about his mental illnesses to you. You, of course, were incredibly supportive and patient. He had never felt so loved before in his life.

C = cat or dog person (this is pretty obvious)

Arthur loves all animals, but he has always wanted a little kitten. They are playful, but not too hyper. They also don’t require as much care, and Arthur already has a lot on his plate. Although you’ve never talked about it, he secretly hopes you both will get a pet one day. 

D = dreams (what do they want to do in life?)

Besides spreading joy and laughter, his biggest dream has already come true. If Arthur could, he’d spend the rest of his life making sure that you’re happy. He wasn’t sure if he’d be a good father or not, but if a baby was something you wanted or desired, he would put every last inch of effort into making that a reality when the time is right. He barely believes that you love him unconditionally, let alone another little human. He would be grateful either way.

E = evenings (how do they spend their evening? Do they go out? Do they read?)

Arthur’s perfect evening would go like this: cuddle with you, cook you some dinner, practice his standup routine to see your pretty little smile, cuddle with you, watch the Murray Franklin show, and then cuddle with you. He couldn’t get enough of your arms around him, and if he had to save up a little extra money to buy a few more soft sweaters (just so you would lay your head on his chest), so be it. Let it be known that he’s also not opposed to spending the evening in the bedroom. He can always watch Murray another time.

F = first date (what was it like?)

It was a little awkward for the both of you. Arthur was still so new to dating, and he didn’t want to do anything wrong. Plus, neither of you are rolling in money, and so you just stayed in at Arthur’s apartment. He cooked a nice meal for the both of you, put on a Charlie Chaplin film, and introduced you to his mother, Penny. It was unconventional, all over the place, and different from what you were expecting. However, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. The night was very Arthur, and it only made you fall harder. 

G = giggle (what is their laugh like? What makes them laugh?)

He has different types of laughs. Some fill you with absolute adoration and joy. Others fill you with sadness and pain. His attacks come when he’s feeling anxious, dissociative, or under-appreciated. His beautiful, real laugh comes out while watching Murray, joking around with one another, and when he plays practical jokes on you. You taught him a few pranks because you knew they would make him happy, and boy did they. Switching sugar for salt is funny, but only the first time.

H = hugs (do they like hugs?)

He LOVES hugs. He likes ‘goodbye, I’ll see you after work’ hugs. He adores ‘we just had a fight, and I’m really sorry’ hugs.  He fonds over ‘I missed you so much’ hugs. He feels lucky to get ‘it’s okay, I’m here for you’ hugs. But his favorite hugs are ‘there’s no reason, I just wanted to be near you’ hugs. Yeah. He loves hugs.

I = instrument (do they play an instrument?) Arthur doesn’t play an instrument. When he was a child, he never had the time or money to learn. As an adult, he thinks it’s too late to try and get into the hobby. He figures he probably wouldn’t be very good at it. You assure him though, if he wants to try, you’ll find a way to make it happen. He feels music deep within him, and you know he’d be a wonderful musician.

J = joy (what brings them joy in life?)

You do. Nothing brings more happiness to Arthur’s life than you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you look at him. It’s all so overwhelming sometimes. Not many other things bring him to pure joy; Gotham hasn’t been kind to him. However, the city almost seems like Heaven when you’re around.

K = kisses (what kind of kisser are they? Shy? Passionate?)

It depends. When Arthur is feeling confident, he can take charge and definitely get caught up in the moment. His first priority is pleasing you. Early on in the relationship, he was incredibly shy. He felt like he would break you, or scare you away if he touched you too much. He’s come a long way, but he still has days where all he can give are small, timid kisses. Either way, you love them. 

L = love (how do they act when they have a crush)

Arthur doesn’t mean to, but he’s pretty obsessive. As soon as he set his sights on you, he knew he had to be near you. It took him awhile to get the courage to actually talk to you, but he admired you from afar quite a bit. 

M = memory (what’s their favourite memory?)

Again, Arthur loves every memory with you in it. His childhood memories weren’t exactly pleasant, and life before you was…difficult. He can’t wait to spend the rest of his life creating new memories with you.

N = no (what is their pet peeve?)

His biggest pet peeve is unkind behavior. Sure, he hates when people are so mean to him. Especially when he’s only been kind to the people of Gotham. But no. Unkind behavior to himself was one thing, but unkind behavior to you? It made him livid. If someone was rude, said a snarky comment, or harassed you in any way, he would furiously write his feelings down in his journal. So much so that his therapist asked when his joke diary turned into a Y/N diary. He just blushed at that.

O = occupation (what’s their dream job?)

It’s always been Arthur’s dream to be a comedian. Well, except for that one brief moment when he was a child when he wanted to be a pirate. But he doesn’t talk about that. He knows just how cruel this world can be, and he wants to spread love and joy as much as he can. What better way than making people laugh?

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?)

Arthur would be a…nervous parent. During the pregnancy, he would be constantly afraid that you or the baby would get hurt. Not to mention, he’s read stories about women dying during labor. 

It terrifies him to think of that. 

After you and the baby were safely home, he would always make sure you both were happy and healthy. He often wrote his worries down about parenting in his notebook. A few of them being: “What if my kid thinks im as weerd as other people do?” “My baby mite have some of the same mental illnesses as me. Maybe insomneea.” Arthur also knows how bad he is at spelling. What if his child needed help with their homework? Would he be smart enough to do so? Would his kid be embarrassed by him? These thoughts often plagued Arthur’s mind. He kept it to himself for now though; he didn’t want to worry you.

Q = questions (do they believe in the super natural? Aliens? Anything along those lines)

Arthur doesn’t even know what’s real in the natural world around him. Or at the very least, he questions it quite a bit. He spends too much of his time trying to convince himself that you’re real; he hasn’t had time to think much about ghost or aliens. 

R = romantic (are they romantic during the relationship?)

Of course he is romantic. He gets discouraged by his gestures, and he wishes he could do more for you. He hopes every day that you’re not disappointed in him (you aren’t). He loves cooking you good meals, buying you flowers when he can, or taking an extra shift at HaHa’s in order to buy you a gift. He’s seriously considered selling his Charlie Chaplin movie collection to take you out to a fancy dinner. The only reason he hasn’t is because he knows you’d be upset if he did.

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail)

Is this even a question? YOU! When you’re smiling, Arthur’s smiling. The Murray show often makes him smile too, but he still loves you more. (You hope!)

T = together (how clingy are they? How long do you two spend together per day on average)

He’s pretty clingy. Being apart from you for too long makes him anxious. You’re the one who grounds him and makes him think positively. Without you, all he’s got is himself and his thoughts. Both of which, can lead him down a spiraling path. He prefers to be with you at any hour he can; if he could spend all 24 hours with you, he would.

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable?)

You love Arthur, but you hate how insecure he is. You’re patient because it makes sense, and you understand him. However, you wish more than anything that Arthur could see just how beautiful and amazing he is. You hate when he talks down about himself; after all, that’s the man you’re in love with. As for you, he likes everything about you. The only thing that irritates worry’s him at times is your need to make sure he’s okay. You’ve nearly fought people who are blatantly rude to him, and it upsets him to know that you could be hurt in the process. 

“I’m not worth it,” he’ll tell you. 

There’s that self-doubt again.

V = videos (do they take lots of videos or photos during your relationship?)

You don’t really take any videos; neither of you have the money to spend on a video camera. You do have a polaroid camera that you’ve kept with you, and you love taking pictures of Arthur. Pictures of his face are scattered around your apartment. Sometimes you’ll take pictures of yourself too and tape them where he can find them. It helps remind him that you’re real, and you love him.

W = wedding (what will the wedding be like?)

The wedding is small. Neither of you even expected to get married when you did. Arthur decided it was time to marry you, and so he asked. He saved up money for months to buy you a ring. The ring still wasn’t all that big, but you didn’t care one bit. It was beautiful to you. His speech was short and sweet, complete with nervous stutters and blushes. 

“I-I’m sorry I couldn’t buy you something better,” Arthur blushed, looking a little ashamed at the small ring he held in his hand. “But-but I wanted to marry you now. Or, I wanted to ask you. Shit! I didn’t- I didn’t ask you. Do- do you want to marry me?”

It was perfect. You both were so excited to marry one another that you couldn’t care less about the actual wedding process. That night, and way into the morning, you both surely had fun celebrating your love. 

X = eXtra (what’s an interesting fact about them that they don’t tell anyone about?)

The 1920′s silent film Treasure Island made him want to be a pirate when he was younger. He thought he would go on adventures, find treasure, and sail the open seas. As a kid, that looked like ultimate freedom. 

Y = yuck (what do they hate? Could be a food, scent, word, anything)

Arthur hates bully’s. He also hates when you shrug after he asks you something important about yourself. For example, all the times he asks what’s wrong, or why you feel insecure, or if you think you’re beautiful, and you shrug? Yeah, he hates that. He knows you might just need some time, but he doesn’t like to see you upset.

Z = zzzz (how heavy of a sleeper are they? How do they sleep? What mood do they wake up in? Really any sleeping headcanons)

Arthur is a heavy sleeper when he can actually fall asleep. Because of his insomnia, he has a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. You often find yourself awake with him, keeping him company or stroking his hair until he’s tired again. When he does get a few hours in, you try to be as quiet as humanly possible so you don’t wake him up. Arthur loves falling asleep with you tucked into his side, or he into yours. He has to admit, he’s never slept more peacefully than with you by his side.

[darklingichor]

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell *Major Spoilers*

I wrote a little about this book last month, but I want to write more. This is one of those books that has been lingering in my brain so what follows will be long and rambling.

Now, I haven't read Fangirl I've been pulled more toward action adventure and humor in my fiction, for a while now. Hmm, I wonder what could have happened a few years back  that would cause a Pacific Northwest liberal to feel the need for escape? Just one of those things, I suppose.

I need to read it, if only because I wrote Harry Potter fanfic for years and sort of lost myself in it right after high school.

Anyway.

I've heard people calling Carry On an HP knock off. I don't get this. Simon Snow is obviously Fangirl's Harry Potter. That makes Carry On more of a tongue in cheek homage to HP and stories like it as well as something of a love letter to fanfic writers.

A lot of the main characters start out as your standard for this type of story. "The Hero", "The Mentor", "The Damsel", "The Enemy", "The Unspeakable Evil."

Through the book it becomes clear that our hero is well meaning but ill-suited for the role that his mentor thinks he place him in. The mentor is shown to be unhinged. The damsel is sick of screaming and doesn't want to be in the story at all. The enemy is love sick for the hero and dealing with the puberty from hell. The unspeakable evil, isn't. Its just an unforeseen byproduct of the mentor's plan, in which, the hero, is a pawn.

The book plays with archetypes and I read some of them as being fairly meta about their expected place in the story.

Agetha, especially, seems to know her role and resent it. She's who is saved by the hero, whether she likes it or not.

Baz is so certain of his role as "The Enemy" that until his role flips, he's sure his destiny is to be killed by the person he's in love with.

Simon knows his role so well, he's on auto pilot as a defence mechanism. He's either going to die, or he'll get a stock Happily Ever After. He doesn't even allow himself to think too much about what really matters to him, because he knows his life isn't really his.

I would have loved this book because of everything I wrote above, but add to it the nods to fan contribution? It was enough to make me remember my old ff.n login!

I don't know if Rainbow Rowell researched fan fiction but I figure she must have.

I mean, the things I saw played with and reshaped in Carry On, are fanfic tropes. Rowell took things that grew out of fans having fun with their favorite characters and made them canon.

Main character going out with an exchange student, pop culture references, evil good guy, and:

Four words: Draco is a vampire.

Sure, not every fic that used these were the best, but so what? Many were sincere.

What better way to go to Hogwarts as a person raised outside the UK than to live though an OC in an exchange program?

It was weird that no one in the wizard world listened to muggle music, watched movies or TV. Even the muggleborns? I'm sorry, but I was in the same age range as the characters. In fact, if Harry were real, he would be three years older than me. You can't convince me that there were not at least a couple of muggleborns who were  sending an owl a week to remind their parents to tape Friends or My So-Called Life.

There were a fair few stories where Dumbledore or even Harry turned out to be evil. Even before we found out Dumbledore wasn't a saint. It can be fun to play with expectations and Dumbledore was too perfect for too long.

The vampire thing? I mean, why not? Either Draco or Snape. It fits enough for a fic, and you can get some fun stuff out of it. Besides Hogwarts allowed a warewolf, why not a vampire?

The point is, this book reminds me of some goofy fics I read but also reminds me of some that I sometimes have to remind myself aren't canon, because fan fiction can be amazing.

Example: It has been years but I still remember a great fic that someone wrote about Uric The Oddball's years at Hogwarts. I don't remember much about it off hand but I do know that if I re-read HP, when Uric is mentioned, I think of this story like it is something that is actually in the history of the series. (Dude, I googled "Uric the Oddball fan fiction" on a whim. Popped right up: Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt by Ariana Deralte. Guess I shouldn't be surprised! Maybe I should read it again to see if it's still as good as I remember).

So yeah, Carry On is so not an HP knock off and has a number of things that I think make me like it more.

The first one is diversity. It is very nice to have it explicitly said in the text that characters are of different ethnicities, sexualities, and abilities. Watford is a far better representation of a population than Hogwarts is, outside of fanfic (It wasn't there, people wrote it in).

Then there is magic itself, it comes from somewhere it's in the environment, it has to do with celestial alignment, people give words power to channel that energy.

That brings me to something that made me adore the world building here.

The actuality of Simon Snow's universe is that Mages cannot exist independently without the Normals. Without the Normals giving weight and meaning to turns of phrase, rhyme and songs, the Mages couldn't do what they do. Add to that, this means that magic is ever evolving and the Mages must learn about and be a part of, to some extent, the Normal world. This makes Mages who look down on Normals seem even more ridiculous.

I also think this book handled romance better than Harry Potter. I don't know what it was but the relationships seemed awkward and strained in HP. Maybe it was because most of it was shoved into one book, like Hogwarts's water supply was spiked with hormones? I don't know.

What I do know is that even though Simon and Agetha are going through the motions of being together in this book, they still feel like two people who have been dating for a long time.

We don't get a lot about Penny and her boyfriend, but the way she is described talking about him reminds me of how my best friend would talk about her boyfriends when she was visiting me. The way she would go on, you'd think that he was on the moon instead of 90 miles away. I bought that Penny and her boyfriend enjoy each other's company.

And the biggie. Simon and Baz

I almost didn't read this book for two reasons. First: Vampire main character. I love vampires, but I lived through the deluge of Twilight, True Blood, and Vampire Diaries, not to mention that every other book seemed to be about vampires. Even though I didn't watch or read all of them, I just got vampired out.

Second: I have never been one for the whole "enemies to love interest" thing. The Harry/Draco pairing never spoke to me.  Not that I never read fics that managed that ship well, it was just not my favorite, probably because I just never liked Draco.  I tend to prefer romances that are built on friendship (Remus and Sirius dated each other at some point, and nothing can convince me otherwise).

All that being said, I like the Simon/Baz pairing.

I like that Baz freely admits to the reader that a lot of his tormenting of Simon is pigtail pulling.

I like that Simon is more or less: "I like a guy? A guy who was my nemisis? That's new, let's go for it."

There's none of that "Hate turns to love" shit that I personally can't stand.  None of the "I am evil, yet his light draws me" or "His darkness is so seductive"

Baz isn't a villain needing to rethink his position. He's a slightly snobby guy with a lot of family pressure, who is in love with a dude who has been set up as opposition, by the adults in his life.

Simon isn't a good guy wanting to be bad. He's a guy who is following the path set out for him without giving context to his feelings with thought, because he doesn't think. So, when Baz doesn't show up at the first of the year, Simon knows 3 things for sure:

Baz is his enemy

His enemy is not there

He feels very uneasy about it.

Why?

See numbers 1 & 2

This equals out to "plotting" in Simon's mind because that's what enemies do.

It doesn't dawn on him that he was actually missing Baz and that he has romantic feelings for him until later

I also like the interaction between them. Again, I buy that they like each other. The simpler moments, like sharing food, or being flirty. It also makes sense that Baz is so nervous and guarded about the relationship. It fits that they would bicker and argue while trying to figure every thing out.

The relationships feel authentic.

In fact all of the relationships between  the characters feel authentic.  The sibling relationships between Ebb and Nicky, I know siblings that close. The interaction between Baz and his little sister, I know people like them too. The Friendships; in my opinion, too few friends in fiction are depicted messing with each other or being lovingly annoyed by each other.

I've known my two best friends most of my life. Not a day goes by where one of us doesn't say something that if it was said by anyone else, it would lead to a fight. Said by us, it's funny, or at least something we can't argue with.

So I related when Baz's friend complained that he had wasted his childhood hating Simon now that Simon and Baz were no longer enemies and Baz said: "What else were you going to do with your childhood?"

I spent my 20's with my friends seemingly taking turns crashing at my apartment. I spent most of my time ossulating between wishing they would go home and being glad they were there.

So at the beginning of the book, when Penny won't leave Simon's room? I saw myself in the way Simon felt about it.

That authentic and relatable quality was what I really liked about the quiet - if not Happily Ever After - then the Attempting Normal For Now ending each character got.

Well, as normal as you can get with a story involving  mages, vampires and powerful Elton John songs.

I am a dodecahedron of geekdom, btw and the classic rock side jumped up and down clapping hands at all of the music references (and giggled when Carry On was fallowed by Wayward Son which will be followed by Anyway The Wind Blows). 

And now we come to the reason I have not read the sequel even though it is sitting in a bag with the rest of this year's Powell's haul.

From what I have read, Wayward Son is, at least in part, about what happens after Happily Ever After and ends on a cliffhanger. 

After Happily Ever After with a cliffhanger and no release date... Yeah, that will drive me crazy. I haven't even read the second book and I'm already thinking about the third. Aw man! Who dies? Who breaks up? Who becomes evil?

So, even though road trip stories are right up there with time travel stories as one of my favorites, even though I love the idea of showing a character battling depression, even though I love these characters, period; Wayward Son will stay unread until I run out of new books to read, or the next book's release date is close. Whichever comes first, because I want to think of the characters in their quiet ending ending for a little while.

[elderstiefel]

A Night to Forget - Miles Edgeworth x Phoenix Wright

Read also on AO3! Leave a comment & kudos if you want!

Summary :  Closeted gay man Miles Edgeworth decides to step out of his comfort zone for a night out on the town. But it all comes crumbling down when he bumps into a familiar face

The chain of events that led Miles Edgeworth to be standing in the middle of a gay club on a Saturday night was an interesting yet all too familiar one.

It started with the usual stress. Many sleepless nights mulling over cases; falling asleep on the office couch and waking up as the sun peeked through the blinds, ringing in another day of work. Rinse and repeat.

Stress can make you do some interesting things, many of which Miles thought he was immune to. Though he had come close to ripping his hair out from the root or throwing an expensive brandy glass against the wall, he always seemed to manage to calm himself down and be rational.

Managing the usual work-related stress was something that was second nature to him.

The stress of being a 25-year-old closeted gay man in the city with no time to do anything was something he was still trying to figure out.

It didn’t help when his two worlds collided, and he had to spend the day staring the stupidly handsome and annoyingly persistent Phoenix Wright in the face during a court session.

He convinced himself that his crush on Wright was brought about by the two sides of himself battling it out in his mind; his suave professional persona and the scared gay boy in the closet who just wanted to come out and have some fun.

Besides, he couldn’t seriously have feelings for Phoenix Wright. They were natural enemies. Wright was so annoying…brilliant, but annoying.

Going out on the town was one of those things way out of Miles’ comfort zone. He was rightfully accused of “not getting out much” but God, he didn’t think he was that terminal. It took a quick swig of vodka and a 20-minute pep talk to get him out the door.

He felt rather…sexy in his tight-fitting grey sweater and even tighter fitting burgundy pants. Not uncomfortably tight, more like made to fit his body just so. There was something about the way his clothes were tailored that made him irresistible to look at…or so he’d been told. He wasn’t planning on bringing anyone home tonight but he knew he definitely could if the opportunity came about.

This night spending too much money on drinks and pretending to know how to dance to popular songs was supposed to help him blow off steam. Let loose a little bit. God knows he didn’t have any opportunity while living in a Von Karma household, but being a grown man with a more than adequate income and one free night to himself, he wasn’t going to pass it up.

Forget the cases. Forget the court. Forget Manfred Von Karma. Forget that stupid Phoenix Wright. To hell with it. Tonight was his night.

Or so he thought.

He felt a vein pop in his neck when he spotted Phoenix Wright, dressed in a shirt and jeans that were impossibly tight, sitting at the end of the bar. He was wearing that stupid dorky grin on his face, and his stupid giggle as he cracked a joke with the bartender could be heard over the music. And My God, he looks so stupidly gorgeous-

It wasn’t until Phoenix was offering up an awkward wave that Miles realized his cover had been blown. Blown to absolute fucking smithereens.

It wasn’t like Miles could pretend he hadn’t seen Phoenix. He was still staring at him, wide-eyed, his feet glued to the club floor like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck.

He couldn’t run, at least not that far. Sure the club was crowded but the shock of grey hair scrambling away would be easy to track down in the crowd.

The thump thump thump of the music turned into a dull buzz in the back of Edgeworth’s head as he tried to plan his escape. Panic made his vision go blurry, but he was quickly brought back from the void when that familiar voice called out to him.

“Miles? Hey, Miles!”

He was absolutely appalled by the greeting, his hands flying up to cover his mouth as if he was about to be sick.

Don’t scream my name in here you moron, I can’t be spotted in here, don’t act like this is so fucking casual why the fuck are you here-

“Edgeworth, are you alright?”

As soon as he noticed Phoenix had left his chair and oh fuck he’s coming this way, his feet finally let him move to hightail it out the door.

He didn’t create any scene at all, but Miles’ anxiety made it feel like every eye in the room was on him as he crashed out the door.

Everyone knows. Everyone saw me. Miles Edgeworth, the demon prosecutor, also a massive queer.

He held his head in his hands and tried to catch his breath in the alley beside the club. The dull thumping of the music bled through the brick wall he leaned up against.

Strings of words repeated over and over in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe but the words grew louder and louder. That voice…

Von Karma might be on death row but his words would forever live on in Miles’ head.

Failure. Queer. Pansy. Degenerate.

“…Miles?”

He jumped when a warm hand rested on his shoulder. He peeked up through his fingers at Phoenix, who wore an expression that was the perfect mix of awkward and sympathetic.

As much as he hated being seen like this, especially by someone like Wright, he couldn’t find the strength to straighten his posture and make eye contact. His eyes remained pasted on the concrete.

“… Wright. I-”

“Didn’t expect to see me here? I could say the same thing to you.” Phoenix offered a warm smile, one that persisted he was being genuine and not trying to poke fun.

“…please don’t-”

“Miles, trust me…I won’t tell anyone. Not even Maya, when she starts pestering the life outta me, asking where I’ve been. If you don’t want anyone to know…I get it.”

Miles’ eyes darted up to Phoenix for a brief moment, and he felt a jolt in his stomach that sent his eyes flying back to the ground.

Bracing himself on the brick wall, Miles straightened his back and cleared his throat as if nothing was wrong and he didn’t just have a near mental collapse in front of his work rival.

“I just…I found myself free this evening. And this- it’s not something I usually enjoy but-”

“You don’t have to explain it to me, I get it. Work is, uh…it’s a bitch! Let’s be honest.” Phoenix chuckled, reaching to scratch the back of his head.

Miles hated himself for noticing the fabric of Phoenix’s shirt stretch over his chest and how the sleeves strained at the biceps.

Miles crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat once again as if that would help him assert himself in this situation.

“I didn’t know you were gay.” He said bluntly, his eyes darting back and forth between Phoenix and the wall in front of him.

“Yeah, well… being gay is one thing. Being a lawyer is another. I think I do a good job of keeping my personal and professional life separate. But…damn, being a gay lawyer, there isn’t time to do anything!” Phoenix threw his hands up in exaggerated exasperation, offering another chuckle that Miles warmly responded to.

“You’ve got that right…” Miles felt just the tiniest bit more comfortable, much to his surprise. Because God, this was awkward. He knew the working relationship he and Phoenix had would be forever changed but for some reason…he didn’t give two shits. Something about Phoenix’s openness made all the shame melt away.

“But when you’ve got time…you might as well use it.” Phoenix slid his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. “And being a lonely gay in the club can be intimidating…”

“What are you implying, Wright?”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

____________________

Miles didn’t know what came over him, but he found himself, sitting next to Phoenix Wright of all people, at a gay bar, sipping on a $14 drink.

And it wasn’t his first $14 drink either. Phoenix started out getting them some cocktails that came with little paper umbrellas and candied fruit.

Experience tells us that these drinks are the most dangerous because they sneak up on you.

Miles twiddled the tiny paper umbrella between his fingers and sighed a bit more wantonly than he would ever care to admit.

“So…I never really came out to Von Karma, God knows I couldn’t. I thought I hid it pretty well but…he found my diary and…”

“Damn…I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how he reacted.” Phoenix rested his cheek in his hand and downed the rest of his drink.

Miles shivered a little bit as the memory flashed through his mind. “It wasn’t my proudest moment. I like to think everything he put me through shaped me into a better man but that was…terrifying. I thought he would send me away or…worse. All for writing about sneaking a kiss with a boy during lunchtime.”

Phoenix moved in a little closer to Miles. He could tell Miles needed a shift from cold memories to more awkward and funny ones. He wanted to see him smile.

“My parents never really suspected, y'know…I went through law school, and I never really had time to experiment or date. I had a few girlfriends in grad school but uh…well.” Phoenix gestured to the club around him. “You can imagine why those didn’t work out.”

Miles smirked and chuckled to himself, thankful for the change of subject. “Ah, the first girlfriends…I remember mine. Lovely girl.”

“Nice tits?”

“Oh, the nicest. And such a… curvy, womanly behind.” Miles tried his best to match Phoenix’s vulgarity.

They both snickered and simultaneously reached for their glasses, only to realize they were both empty.

“Ah, well…I’m outta cash.” Phoenix patted his pockets with a sad sigh.

“I’ll get the next round, pick your poison.” Miles reached for his wallet and pulled out $40 cash. Phoenix gasped and crossed his arms in such a childish way it almost made Miles lose it.

“Damn, Mr. Prosecutor came loaded! Why was I paying this whole time?!”

Miles let out a laugh that would certainly be deemed ungentlemanly and Phoenix melted a little in his seat.

“You offered the first drink. And you got so tipsy you just kept going.”

“What can I say, I can’t help but buy a handsome man a drink. Or two. Or four.”

Both of them felt the same flush in their cheeks, and they didn’t know if it was the alcohol or that they were both becoming aware of how much they shifted closer to each other during their conversation.

“Well…I can return the favor. I too enjoy splurging on handsome men.” Miles fiddled with his paper umbrella again, his eyes darting up to meet Phoenix’s.

The fruity drinks were certainly filling him with confidence, and he reached up and tucked the umbrella behind Phoenix’s ear, letting his fingers brush ever so gently across the skin of his neck on the way back.

The shiver that traveled through Phoenix was ungodlike and it nearly knocked him off his chair.

“I mean…maybe we could just take this back to your place? I know you have that good shit. The expensive stuff, aged for 40 years in an oak barrel and filtered through gold.”

Miles rolled his eyes and stuffed the cash back in his wallet. “It’s such a sophisticated drink, you can’t just down it like these subordinate cocktails.”

It wasn’t until Miles slipped his wallet back into his pocket that the reality of Phoenix’s question hit him like a ton of bricks.

He just asked to come home with me.

The next breath that left Miles’ lips was shaky. He glanced over at Phoenix, who was looking at his shoes and absentmindedly swirling the fruit in the bottom of his empty glass, staining it maraschino cherry red. He could tell he was just as nervous as he was.

“…it’s a bit of a walk.”

“It’s a nice night.”

____________________

Miles awoke the next morning on his living room couch, a painful crick in his neck and a pounding pressure swelling behind his eyes.

The first sight that greeted him, aside from the blinding sunlight that he immediately resented, was two empty glasses sitting on the coffee table. A few puddles of spilled brandy speckled the glass tabletop.

The night before was returning to him in bits and pieces. The club, Phoenix Wright, the paper umbrellas, the walk home…

He glanced down and drew in a quick breath at the sight of Phoenix sprawled on top of him, out like a light with a small string of saliva trailing from his lip onto Miles’ sweater.

Both of the men were fully clothed, minus shoes and socks, and both equally looking like absolute hungover messes.

A wave of relief washed over Miles as he realized they didn’t…do anything last night.

He’d never forgive himself if he and Phoenix Wright shared a night of passion and he couldn’t remember it.

As he lay there with Phoenix snoozing on top of him, a few more pieces of the night before came back to him.

They continued their talk about Miles’ closeted childhood. About how Von Karma drilled it into his mind that it was a phase he’d outgrow, and that if he didn’t, Von Karma would scare it out of him.

They talked about failed girlfriends, failed straight sex, and had a hardy laugh over that.

They talked about their first times with other boys…how liberating it felt. How good it felt to realize they weren’t broken.

After that, the night became a blur.

God, did Phoenix mention if he was a top or bottom? I can’t remember…

The sleeping man stirred on Miles’ chest and let out a rather loud yawn.

“Urgh… God damn it. This is why I don’t do this often.” Phoenix groaned, forgetting where he was and nuzzling into Miles’ chest.

“The aftermath certainly doesn’t seem worth it…” Miles tried to sit up but Phoenix kept him in his reclined position. He didn’t mind.

After sitting in comfortable silence for a bit, the gravity of the situation started to hit both of them. Miles cleared his throat and decided to break the silence first.

“Um… Wright.”

Phoenix scrunched his nose up and shifted to sit up. Leave it to Edgeworth to make things professional again.

“I know you mentioned you keep your personal and professional life separate…I strive to do the same.”

Phoenix rubbed his eyes and sat on the opposite end of the couch, distancing himself from the other man (as much as he didn’t want to, as much as he just wanted to snuggle back up with him and fall asleep).

“Yeah…you don’t have to tell me twice. This was… I had fun last night. But I don’t see how this has to change anything.” Phoenix offered a smile, to which Edgeworth returned.

“Yes, I agree. I had…fun.” Miles ruffled his hair, trying to smooth it out to no avail. “You’re right, this doesn’t have to change anything. I will remain vigilant in court and-”

“And I’ll be there to kick your ass.” Phoenix cut him off, smirking proudly.

Miles rolled his eyes and shot a look at Phoenix. And then another look. And then a sharp feeling rose in his stomach that was much more urgent than the hangover nausea that was cursing him this morning.

“What are you looking at? Do I have something on my face?”

His eyes were glued to the red and purple splotches left all over Phoenix’s neck and collarbone.

He swallowed hard as his eyes darted to the button of Phoenix’s jeans, his fly wide open just like his own. He shuffled his legs at his sudden realization.

Phoenix’s hair, instead of its usual spiky glory, was tousled like it had been previously ravished by hungry hands.

His heart in his throat, Miles returned his eyes to the messy coffee table in front of him. More memories of last night came seeping back into his mind and he felt his face grow hot.

“Uh… nothing. I had a good time with you last night. Good talk.” Miles’ hand flew to his own neck on instinct, and both him and Phoenix blushed wildly, knowing they were both sporting matching neck accessories.

It’s a good thing the next trial isn’t until Wednesday…

[wannawrite]

All For One

who?: Wanna One’s Lai Guanlin, Cube Ent’s / Pd101’s Yoo Seonho genre: 🌸 type: bullet point blog navigator. • you have two Cube Chicks for best friends • is this a good or bad idea? this...is the cutest, softest thing...possibly...ever. I’ll try my best! Made me think of my best friends a lot  :”) TYSM @isaluciavevo for requesting - Admin L

• ahhhh the Cube Chicks are back together again • honestly,,,who...just who in the right mind thought that this would be a good idea • because it is a GREAT idea • but • warning: Cube Chicks may cause trouble out of good intention • good vibes only • that’s how y’all roll • if you want it • you go get it • and your boys will support you • both are competitive sportsmen • basketball team!! • captain • and vice-captain • it’s a v v messy yet memorable friendship • sometimes it’s you trying to keep Seonho and Guanlin alive • sometimes it’s Guanlin trying to keep you and Seonho from getting arrested • yeah • it’s Seonho for everything • have you seen this boy? • he gets in so much trouble its a miracle you haven’t bailed him out of jail yet • but he’s a good boy, don’t worry • he’s just clumsy and childish • kind of doesn’t think of consequences before acting • sort of plunges both feet into hot water without dipping his toes to check first • but • that’s how your entire friendship functions • it’s a good friendship • you share a class with Seonho • and it’s crazy • he sits next to you • some days he never pays attention to the teacher and gossips to you throughout class • other days he’s like • ‘hey seonho can I borrow a pencil-’  • ‘shush. pay attention to the teacher, y/n.’ • damn Seonho I just wanted a pencil I didn’t ask for this slander • but you love him • in school, he’s the first person to greet you at your locker in the mornings • with a bright smile, his backpack slung over his shoulder • then he ruffles your hair playfully, messing it up completely • true friendship :”) • ‘ahh, I know that person you like will definitely take notice of you now,’ he teases • then you guys walk to assembly and class together • sometimes in class, you guys have a sheet of foolscap paper in between the desks • and either one of you will draw or write some really cute, heart-warming, heart-fluttering bullshit • okay you get my drift • ‘you’re doing amazing sweetie’ • ‘cheer up!’ • ‘have fun at basketball practice later!’ • ‘i miss Guanlin :(‘ • ‘>:( what about me’ • ‘I love Guanlin :D’   • ‘ :”( ‘ • ‘ily2 dw ❤️’ • Seonho smiles before folding up the paper and sticking it into his bag just as your teacher walks by • he has an incredible knack of never getting in trouble • he can create trouble but he doesn’t get in it • explain later • okay now • Seonho is also super concern and caring • during lunch if he gets pizza, he makes sure to buy some for you too • and Guanlin of course • ‘pfpp lol hyung you can buy your own’ • ‘yah, you still owe me from last week’s frozen yoghurt.’ • bickers over food • visits your house very often • he just comes to nap on your bed • ‘nooo I’m here to inspect if you cleaned your room like you said you did in your Snapchat story.’ • really, he just wants access to your pantry and kitchen • while eating popcorn, you and Guanlin doodle things all over his arms when he’s sleeping • not dicks pls • Seonho is a child • he needs his sleep • after sleeping, he makes sure to go out with you and Guanlin a lot • barbecue is a MUST • in fact, the owner is a classmate’s parent • and always give you guys a discount • THAT’S how regular y’all are • and there’s always a tad bit more food for your table • karaoke is a favourite • time for swaggy rapper™️ to shine • speaking of Guanlin • he’s a year older • yet not that much more mature • or sensible • jk, he is • quieter and shyer than Seonho • but just as goofy when he opens up to you • is fake deep • ‘I want to get a tattoo of a burrito because we get so wrapped up in our internal feelings and sadness, that we ignore the crisp and goodness outside.’ • sends really meaningful things to the group chat at 12am • Guanlin🐥: you guys mean the world to me, I would never trade y’all for anything else • Seonho🐣: aww hyung :”) • you: 💓💓💓 • changes the group chat profile pic very often • he went through an entire streak of Kermit the frog for a month • Guanlin really likes memes • more than Seonho • and Seonho has a folder of 500+ pictures of memes alone • at 3.30am, Guanlin will send memes to the group chat • kermit the frog memes • pepe memes   • any other meme you can think of • sometimes recycles memes • edits memes • Guanlin🐥: hey Daniel hyung promised me a lifetime worth of pizza if I gave  Seonho to Minhyun hyung • Guanlin🐥: so lmao bye bye Seonho • Guanlin🐥: you’re the sacrifice • Seonho actually disappears for a couple of hours   • wh00ps • but Guanlin is EXTRA • extra sweet ;) • advises you both of life • ‘now...my young grasshoppers, I’m going to teach you how to sleep in class and not get caught.’ • ‘this is how you secretly eat pizza rolls in the middle of math’ • ‘LiSTEN, this is how you sneak in a waffle maker to make breakfast in morning assembly’ • but he does actually help • he helps both of you with studies • pushes Seonho to study by treating him to pizza • and ice cream • and chicken • Guanlin tells you tips and tricks to memorise math formulas better • uses creative analogies • ‘okay, imagine that x is a sheep. So 2x would mean 2 sheep and then 4x + -3x would be?’ • I don’t even know actually but let’s just pretend I do • ‘guys, if you get Mr Kai as your math teacher next year, tell me.’ • is a nice, responsible and caring older brother • gets really protective from time to time • it’s the small actions that give him away • like • ‘no, I’ll walk you out to the gate, don’t go by yourself.’ • ‘text me when you get home safe, okay?’ • will walk you to the bus stop and take your bus even if it goes the opposite way • makes some lame excuse • ‘uhh, my sister’s friend’s dog is in the area so I’m going to meet him and we’ll go back together.’ • ‘I need to pick up dry cleaning for my mother. You know how she’s fussy about her evening gowns.’ • ‘Lin, it’s 9pm at night...the shop is closed.’ • red-faced • ‘oh’ • Guanlin is #1 on speed dial on both your phones • ‘in cases y’all get drunk, call me, no one else knows how to take care of you two.’ • Seonho always texts him when he’s arrived safely at home • with a cute selfie sometimes • Guanlin tracks both the children’s sleep schedules in his diary watch him • is generous • pays for your haircuts • *pushes both of you into the salon Jinyoung works at* • ‘since school is almost over, you guys need a look for summer.’ • ‘hey Jinyoung, these are my friends so take good care of them wink wonk’ • ;) • I got you • Taiwanese chick is slyer than a fox • Seonho sits in the salon chair with pitch black hair • and emerges with a blonde streak down the middle • you don’t sense anything wrong • until Baejin starts to whip out green hair dye • ‘WAIT’ • you wrestle Jinyoung for that box • ‘HOW MUCH DID GUAN PAY YOU? I CAN PAY YOU MORE!’ • Guanlin’s hair ends up being blondish green • well done • he also once convinced Jinyoung to chop off a good 4 inches of your hair • I could use some 4 inches in height • hah • speaking of height • Guanlin is tall • so is Seonho • and Guanlin is just a bit more of that annoying tall friend who makes fun of everyone who isn’t as tall as them • yes thank you for putting MY box of cookies on the top shelf of my pantry • aww Seonho you sweetheart, thanks for helping   • he smirks and takes the whole box for himself • sigh • tall people • if you hang out in the evenings • Guanlin always drags Seonho’s ass out of your house to the basketball courts nearby • to practice • you know • time to grind😤😫 • you tag along • trying to win against a basketball team captain and vice-captain • some die heroes • ‘WatCH ME’ • your best friends just chuckle and shrug • but they are also your support squad • ‘jUst JUMP YOU GOT THIS!’ Guanlin yells enthusiastically • once, he even bought a loudspeaker • ‘LET’S GO TEAM!’ • and it got taken away by a park warden • then he brought another one • and a policeman on patrol swiped it • so Guanlin relied on his swaggy rapper™️ voice • Seonho becomes the spectator • ‘AND-AND WILL Y/N SCORE FOR THE FIRST TIME?’ • this is how you guys spend the weekends • ‘...THEY DO. A MIRACLE HAS HAPPENED.’ • Guanlin runs and catches you in a hug, overjoyed • Seonho joins soon after • and the three of you collapse in the cold court floor, bursting into laughter • but your heart couldn’t feel any warmer :”) • ‘ahhh, I could spend all night here.’ • but of course, realistically, you can’t • so all of you retire to Guanlin’s mansion • I make him a rich boy in every single one of my works I realised I’m sorry • sometimes it becomes a sleepover • like pillow fights   • making s’mores • scaring the hell out of his chef in the process • ‘dAMNIT GUANLIN YOUR PARENTS WILL KILL ME IF YOU BURN THE BOTTOM OF THIS POT.’ • ‘they’ll fire you if you swear at me, right?’ he says cockily, raising an amused brow • his chef just huffs. ‘I’ve known you since you ran around in diapers, goodness.’ • ahhh • his chef is gracious nonetheless and brings you guys platters of snacks for your movie night • includes a lot of yelling • Seonho getting spooked easily • Guanlin taking time to calculate if the scenario could happen in real life then reacting • the kind of best friends to watch Netflix with you until 12am • ‘c’mon,’ Seonho whispers. ‘Everyone should be asleep by now.’ • the three of you creep up to Guanlin’s spacious rooftop garden • star-gazing time • you pop open the soda bottles and get bags of chips • sipping cola • looking at the stars • back on the ground, head to head to form a circle • ahhh • ‘oh! shooting star!’ • ‘hey, that constellation looks like a horse!’ • it’s just a good time filled with laughter, jokes, food and friendship • as the night wears on, things get really deep and personal • these hangouts have sort of become personal therapy sessions for you • whatever you want to say • say it • all of you trust each other with your lives • a lot of things get lifted off each other’s chest • figure out problems together • help each other out • just a genuine, meaningful time of bonding • when it ends, you feel more secure and loyal to your friends • you and Seonho take the enormous couch in the gaming room while Guanlin sleeps in his bed a few doors down • he makes sure to tuck both of you in • and talk until one of you falls asleep before he tucks himself in • such a pure and real friendship • supportive • loving • loyal • and caring • during Christmas time, you guys team up to bake cookies and other holiday treats • it obviously isn’t the greatest idea • I mean, have you seen Guan and Seonho’s ‘It’s meringue time!’? yeah • seonho insists on icing his own cookies this year • he later spent almost an hour scraping icing off the ceiling of his kitchen • taking turns to help decorate each other’s houses • gift shopping for the rest of your clique together • synonymously agreeing to buy yet another fly swatter for Daniel • maybe some shoe insoles for Sungwoon • savages 24/7 • puns all around • breathe memes • especially Guanlin • like that boy has a basketball jersey with Kermit on the back • he actually wears it out • gave an identical one to Seonho for his birthday • and you received one as well for Christmas • from your Secret Santa • at basketball matches • it’s a given you’re there to support them, rain or shine • so if your crush wants to see you, they attend the game • a night before, you’re spamming the group chat with encouraging messages and gifs • they’re like ‘pffp we don’t need these’ but it actually cheers them up • HEART MELTING • there’s always a small spat in the group chat on whose jersey/jacket you will wear • Guanlin🐥: hEY I’M OLDER THAN YOU. • Guanlin🐥: THEY CAN WEAR YOURS ANY OTHER TIME, THIS IS ONE OF MY LAST COMPETITIONS 

• Seonho🐣: I FRICKIN WASHED AND DRY CLEANED MY JERSEY FOR THIS i’msorryimessedup

• on the day itself, you’re clad in Seonho’s practice jersey and Guanlin’s jacket • the cutest • everyone assumes y’all daring • but all of you are just the closest of friends • friendship goals • plus, they’re the best wingmen • just a super supportive, real, joyous friendship

[izcana]

My School Diary #1

Presented below is a short story that I wrote when I was in the fourth grade. I found it in one of my drawers today and I thought it would be a great story, if only edited, of course. I did that and I hope you enjoy the (kind of boring, but whatever) writing! And yes, I know, it doesn't sound like a real diary, but let's stick with it, shall we? At least, I hope you will...who knows?

***

Friday, 1/9/2017

Dear Diary,

Most people get really nervous and worried but also excited on their first day of school. I was no exception, especially since I was starting a new school.

I often wonder why Mum and Dad gave me the name Alan Lagding. This is not, in my opinion, a very pretty name for a girl, though I've long gotten used to it. I thought this would affect how people treat me in class. I was afraid that someone would bully me because of my name. After all, that was what often happened in the lower school; people were petty. Extremely petty. I'd like to think I'm not, but who knows? You're the one who gets the final say on who you are but you can't control how others think of you...you can only hopefully convince them. Anyway, I explained this to Mum and begged her to let me use a different name in school or change my name altogether, but she said no. She said I should be proud of my name because it was who I was.

I sort of get that now.

This very morning, I was sipping cereal with milk, using a spoon to shove the pieces unceremoniously up my mouth. Mum and Dad were in the kitchen talking about work and some newspaper article they read yesterday. I was obviously not paying attention because 1, I didn't know what they were talking about (duh, I hate newspapers) and 2, I was much too nervous about getting on the bus.

I heard the sound of an engine on our street and peering out the window, I saw the telltale orange of the school bus. Bidding Mum and Dad goodbye, I slipped out from the back garden, grabbing my bag (already packed with a lunch, water bottle, school supplies, textbooks, and PE uniform, awaiting in front of the back door). The damp grass crunched underneath my feet, still damp from the sprinkling last night, not to mention it was drizzling.

I was one of the two people that boarded the bus from our street. I wasn't really looking at the other girl who boarded the bus, paying more attention to the general atmosphere inside. It felt, physically, like a sterilised air-conditioned room with cotton seats and a narrow walkway. The decently dry air was a big contrast from the moisture that was practically clinging on my skin from the drizzle outside and I welcomed it. It was bursting with a warm chatter of children, reuniting with old friends, playing games, welcoming new ones getting in the bus.

I heard snippets of conversation surrounding me. "What did you do on your summer break?" was a popular one. So was "What's your name?". I also heard a group of girls talking about Minecraft in the corner and some boys playing tic tac toe on a notebook that was dangled on one of the boy's laps.

I finally took the time to tail the girl who lived on the same street as me. I followed her hair to her face and when I looked at her, my mood fell, dramatically, as I might as well add. What were the chances? I don't want to mention her name, but I will in a bit. I also wished with all my heart that we could stay apart and just pretend the other didn't exist, though I got the opposite of that, but we'll talk about it later.

Who is she? She was the only person I knew and was also my sworn enemy. Shocker. I know.

At the front of my classroom door (4BD), I swallowed. This is it. I was going to be in control of how people saw me, I told myself. I would make friends. This is it, indeed. I took a deep breath and went inside. I scanned the list of students posted on the door, visible as soon as someone passed the door, and my heart sunk to my stomach in dread. Great. Brilliant. Guess why? Anyone? Look at the previous two paragraphs. Make another guess? It was just as I feared. Right next to my name was her's. She was in the same class as me. Duh.

I can't hide the truth now, I suppose. One way or another, you'll know. I'd like to not dwell in the past, considering I want to think we can be friends, now (you'll see why a bit later), but I suppose this is unavoidable. I'll have to tell you her name and who she is and why I hated her so much, anyway.

Her name is Lucy Filir. She was born a month or so earlier than me. The moment she was born, her parents spoiled her. They would carter to her every whim. If she didn't have a toy and I had it? Mr Filir would buy it immediately the next day from the toy shop. If she wanted boiled sweets but there weren't any? Mrs Filir would go out and buy some from the nearest stall. Mr and Mrs Filir were best friends with Mum and Dad. Emphasis on were. Past tense.

They met in some kind of rich and fancy group meeting and they talked about everything, relying on each other as political supports. The problem was since Mr and Mrs Filir gave their daughter everything she wants and as she wants pretty much everything, they soon grew quite poor and could no longer afford to spoil their daughter like before, and she made a big fuss about it, too.

Feeling pressured by his daughter, Mr Filir begged for some money from Mum and Dad, vowing to return it in 2 years. I was 5, then. I'm 9 now. That's 4 years passed if you can't do the maths yourself. Double the amount of time they agreed to. Of course, they said yes because they thought friendship was worth a bit of extra effort, and also more than a bit of gold. "2 years," Dad had told them firmly. "If you need us to extend it, please ask first," Mum had added, gently.

Two years later, Mr Filir mysteriously cut contact (I can't imagine why?) with Mum and Dad. The Filir's never returned the money. "We're not angry because of the money lost, Love," Mum had told me. "We can earn that back. We're angry because they broke our trust." I quite agreed. Our family's loss – all because of her. Lucy. So, now you know.

I sat at the front of the classroom (as usual) and prayed with all my being that she doesn't notice I'm here and try to talk to me. Fat chance, my brain taunted me. You're sitting at the front of the classroom, right next to the door. She totally won't notice you, Alan. Really subtle, you were. At least, I can only hope that she doesn't want to talk to me either, I reasoned. At least, I thought she was ashamed about before. I would be if I were her. Luckily I'm not. Phew...

Unfortunately, she walked down the aisle, heading straight for my desk. I remember what she said to me like it's flashing before my eyes this very moment. "Hi, Alan. I'm really sorry about what happened before between Mr and Mrs Lagding and my parents. It was all my fault; I was so foolish, then! I know you probably don't want to be my friend, but I'm hoping we can start over. I'm Lucy Filir."

I considered her offer and apology, but mostly her apology. My parents and hers will probably not like this new arrangement, but ought not we try to make peace, end this? "I'm Alan Lagding," I said, shaking her hand firmly. Her hand was warm to the touch. "Nice to meet you, Lucy Filir."

Maybe today wasn't such a bad day, after all. And when Mum asked me how my first day was? I told her it was awesome.

- Alan Jennifer Lagding

***

I hope y'all noticed the little theme that I put at the very beginning! Be proud of your identity even if it's not "normal"! Who cares about normal? If that's who you are, it's who you are, and you should be proud that you've gotten so far! Don't let the "norms" change your true opinions or identities. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true.

I hope wherever you are, there's always someone who supports you. Take care, Lovely Readers!

Also, if anyone wants a bonus chapter in Lucy's perspective...you know what to do. If you request it, this work is gifted to you!

[achraf1149]

14 BOOKS TOTALLY WORTH THE HYPE

I love hyped books. Whenever could be a} new book abuzz around that everyone's demand is a should scan, I am unable to wait to urge my hands thereon and check it out for myself. however generally they do not perpetually live up to the hype; as each true book slut is aware of, that is such a bummer. Here are eighteen books wholly well worth the promotional material. We've scanned all and they've received our hyped-up seal of approval. you'll be able to dive into these rest assured that you are sure a good read!

I love, love, love hyped books. Whenever there’s a brand new book abuzz around that everyone’s demand could be a should scan, I can’t wait to urge my hands thereon and check it out for myself. however generally they don’t perpetually live up to the promotional material and as each true book slut is aware of, that’s such a bummer.

Here are eighteen books wholly well worth the promotional material. We’ve scanned all and they’ve received our hyped-up seal of approval. you'll be able to dive into these rest assured that you’re sure a good read!

Just a heads up, this post contains affiliate links—that means that I buy a tiny low commission of any sales made of the links below, however, the worth is that the same for you whether or not you buy via my link or directly from Amazon 🙂

1. the foremost FUN we tend to EVER HAD

AUTHOR: Claire Lombardo

GENRE: up to date Fiction | Family adventure story | returning old-time

SUMMARY: the foremost Fun we tend to Ever Had is that the story of the Sorensons—a Chicago-based family with four adult daughters, Wendy, Violet, Mugil liza and Gracie, and their still-madly-in-love oldsters, Marilyn and David.

The Sorensons perpetually assumed their family’s issues were pretty run-of-the-mill—potential torrid romances, serious overdoses, and personality disorder kids. however, once a long-buried secret emerges, the complete family needs to question “normal” they extremely ar.

Diving into the gritty, and infrequently dark, histories of every loved one, this book is an associate degree interesting story of the pain we tend to bring back those that love the US the foremost.

2. stuff you SAVE during a fireplace

AUTHOR: Katherine Center

GENRE: up to date Fiction | Romance

SUMMARY: stuff you Save during a fireplace is that the story of scented wattle, a feminine shielder United Nations agency prides herself on her ability to remain calm within the face of catastrophe, because of her rough and unemotional behavior. however once scented wattle accidentally lets her feelings get the higher of her, associate degree uncharacteristic moment changes the flight of her entire career, aka, her entire life.

In a moment of force, scented wattle agrees to depart her beloved capital of Texas, TX fireplace station—and home—to move to the capital of Massachusetts to require care of her poorly, and semi-estranged, mother.

Cassie believes she’ll be simply fine in her new male-dominated, non-progressive atmosphere attributable to her ability to follow the foundations. Thankfully, her previous fireman armed her with everything she must understand her new job—never allow them to see you cry, be stronger than everybody, and never, ever get entangled with a fellow shielder.

She’s got it within the bag—she’ll straightforward be her sometimes hardcore, rule-abiding self times 1,000,000. that's till she encounters The Rookie—another recruit United Nations agency stirs one thing in her she’s ne'er knowledgeable before. Before she even understands what happens, all her rules—and all her control—has gone right out the window.

3. MRS. EVERYTHING

AUTHOR: Jennifer Weiner

GENRE: Historical Fiction | returning old-time | LGBTQ

SUMMARY: Mrs. Everything is that the story of Jo and Bethie playwright, 2 sisters returning old-time within the ’50s and ’60s. Growing up, Jo and Bethie got on well, despite their variations. Jo was flashy, smart in class and harboring a secret that caused her to create significant walls around herself. Bethie was girly, felt alive within the center of a stage and would visit any length to appear the part of the glamorous star she believed she was meant to be.

But as time passes, Jo and Bethie grow apart.

Jo finds herself conformist to any or all the ideals and expectations of girls in trendy society, despite her earlier waster years. when fighting therefore laborious to remain out of the kitchen utensil mildew, pure exhaustion leads her to fall right within the middle of it.

Bethie finds herself lost, virtually and figuratively. when devastating and traumatic expertise, Bethie wanders the planet, sleeping on park benches, feeding no matter food she will be able to realize and roaming farther and farther removed from the idyllic life she’d perpetually wished.

But because the sisters become older they each begin to understand that there’s ne'er a time once one should stop trying—it’s perpetually potential to alter your circumstances. rather than property, their lives happen to them, they finally understand that it’s their responsibility to mildew their experiences into the lives they honestly wish.

4. the nice ALONE

AUTHOR: Kristin Hannah

GENRE: Historical Fiction | returning old-time

SUMMARY: the nice Alone is that the story of the Allbrights, a family on a perpetual seek for happiness. Leni, a sensible and lonely lady, is at the constant mercy of her parents—her broken prisoner of war father and her naive and over-trusting mother.

When Leni’s father, Ernt, uproots and moves the family to yet one more location, he’s convinced this point is different—Alaska’s the solution to any or all their issues.

Unprepared and unequipped, the Allbrights realize solace within the individuals of AK United Nations agency teach them how their new and wild home and share theirs provides.

Although Leni and her mother find out how to safeguard themselves from the hazards lurking outside their little wood cabin, they can’t find out the way to share what’s within their home, notably, Ernt’s demons.

Ernt’s temper turns volatile and out of management every winter because the cold and dark ascend, threatening to destroy everything Leni and her mother have found, and built, in Alaska.

5. huge very little LIES

AUTHOR: Liane Moriarty

GENRE: up to date Fiction

SUMMARY: In huge very little Lies, things don't seem to be as calm and innocent in the residential area state capital as they appear. when a dramatic and eventful college trifle night, somebody has aroused dead.

The book flashes back to 6 months before the murder, once young mother Jane and her son Ziggy initial move to the city. Jane is taken below the wing of Madeline, a lady United Nations agency is aware of everything regarding everybody. Jane quickly becomes a part of her cluster, growing getting ready to Madeline and her attractive succor Celeste.

As their friendships grow, Jane learns that she’s not the sole one who’s haunted by personal demons—Madeline and Celeste’s lives ar even additional tormented than her own.

6. GONE GIRL

AUTHOR: Gillian Flynn

GENRE: Psychological adventure story

SUMMARY: In Gone lady, Amy Dunne has gone missing. because of the investigating progress, it becomes additional and additional evidence that her husband, Nick Dunne, could have had an outsized half in her disappearance.

The story is told from alternating perspectives—Nick’s gift day account and Amy’s diary chronicling the year leading up to her disappearance.

Getting a glimpse into Amy’s diary lets the US fall loving along with her sweetness, straightforward quality, and humor. however the Amy we expect we all know presently becomes way more complicated than we tend to may have ever anticipated.

7. wherever THE CRAWDADS SING

AUTHOR: Delia Owens

GENRE: up to date Fiction

SUMMARY: wherever the Crawdads Sing could be a coming-of-age story a couple of ladies named Kya Clark United Nations agency grows up within the marsh of the North geographic region.

Left by her mother once she was solely six, her brothers and sisters the years following, then eventually her father, she has no selection however to work out the way to do life utterly secluded and on her own.

Despite solely getting to college in the future in her entire life, Kya is sensible and sensitive. She has sharp insights regarding the planet and other people. She’s been abandoned, ridiculed, and on the receiving finish of prejudices no one—especially a child—should be got to endure, however, she’s still fascinated by life.

Kya could be a sensible character United Nations agency can soften your heart. And simply once you suppose you’re getting down to perceive her, she throws you for a loop when loop.

8. a lady is not any MAN

AUTHOR: Etaf Rum

GENRE: up to date Fiction

SUMMARY: during a lady is not any Man, 3 generations of Arab-American girls tell their story, one thing that’s ne'er been exhausted their culture before.

Fareeda is that the family matriarch, running the family in Brooklyn, big apple when she and her husband shake Palestine, their horrific motherland. Fareeda could be a disciplinarian for tradition and name, ensuring to let her new relative-in-law Isra acumen a lot of she’s property the family down by solely transfer baby women into the planet and no boys.

Isra moves to the borough from Palestine once she marries Fareeda’s son Adam in associate degree organized wedding. Eager at the concept of a brand new beginning in America and freedom to be her person, Isra’s hopes are destroyed once she quickly discovers that America is hard as dyspneal as Palestine, however, currently, she’s encircled by strangers move as a family.

Deya, Isra’s female offspring, has approached the age wherever she’s meeting with suitors, however, despite her gran Fareeda’s urging, she objects to the wedding and solely needs to line her specialize in school. once a mysterious alien shows up trying to find her, Deya begins to grasp why she feels therefore rebellious and what her past recollections extremely mean.

9. flower JONES & THE SIX

AUTHOR: Taylor Jenkins Reid

GENRE: Historical Fiction

SUMMARY: flower Jones & The Six is that the story of however one in all the foremost disreputable rock n’ roll teams rose to final fame within the ’70s.

Of course, it’s jam-choked with sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, however at its heart could be a tender story of sacrifice, love, and loss.

The Six was a rock n’ roll band United Nations agency was creating awe-inspiring music and having a good time doing it. flower Jones was an attractive and wild lady, partying her method through the glamorous world of Nineteen Sixties Hollywood.

When a music producer realizes that the mixture of flower Jones and also the Six could be a formula for warranted success, nobody says no to the smell of potential fame.

It seems the producer was right. once flower Jones joins The Six, they become the foremost far-famed dance band of that age. however, with fame comes responsibility they aren’t equipped to handle. The cluster lands up cacophonic up at the peak of their fame. And nobody is aware of specifically why, until now.

10. we tend to WERE LIARS

AUTHOR: E. Lockhart

GENRE: Young Adult Fiction | Psychological adventure story

SUMMARY: we tend to Were Liars is that the story of Cady, a really unhappy and broken lady. She’s conjointly sick, forced to remain home, sick-abed and within the dark, to wear down the enfeebling headaches she’s been obtaining since that summer.

The story shuffles back and forth between Cady’s gift day and a past summer spent within the Northeast along with her family several years before. Cady now not partakes in her family’s decadent summers spent on their island, her gramps, her mother, and each of her aunts every with their mansions.

As Cady’s story of that summer is told, we tend to learn of her love for her cousins and an in-depth family friend, the cluster deemed the “The Liars”.

During that summer, the Liars devise an idea to interrupt down the grand rule of Cady’s gramps. Except, the set up doesn’t go something as they hoped. And worst of all—Cady can’t bear in mind any of it.

11. ELEANOR OLIPHANT is FINE

AUTHOR: Gail Honeyman

GENRE: up to date Fiction

SUMMARY: Eleanor Oliphant is Fine is that the story of a socially awkward woman, on the face of it mediocre, and stuck during a life-sucking routine.

But because the book goes on, Eleanor starts to reveal her quippy {and extremely|and terribly|and intensely} humourous temperament and her strange—and very interesting—views on life and other people.

Moved by the concept of potential love, Eleanor starts to interrupt out of her routine. In doing, therefore, she gains such a lot quite she could’ve ever anticipated. however, shaking up her everyday routine conjointly stirs up a number of her past and brings it to the surface.

The characters during this story are unbelievably crafted and multi-dimensional and also the pace and also the anticipation of the approaching plot ar even as amazing!

12. 3 girls

AUTHOR: Lisa Taddeo

GENRE: prose | Human sex

SUMMARY: 3 girls is that the prose account of 3 completely different Yankee women’s sex lives—Maggie, Lina, and Sloane.

Maggie’s story follows her from her high school days to the current, the six years between tied along by an equivalent torturing event—an illicit affair along with her married teacher once she was seventeen. Maggie has spent her entire life feeling lost and broken, till she gets a style of hope brought on by the eye of Aaron, additional unremarkably referred to as a man. Knoebel, her teacher. Desperate for his love, Maggie agrees to stay their relationship a secret, solely human activity with him through secret conferences and cloak-and-dagger encounters. however once Aaron suddenly takes his love away, cutting her aloof from her salvation, she can’t recover. Six years when their affair, Maggie decides to press carnal abuse charges. She takes him to court, her “troubled” word against his Teacher of the Year one.

Lina’s story conjointly begins in highschool wherever she meets a fellow schoolfellow United Nations agency appears to be everything she’s unreal a man can be. however once Lina is raped by 3 boys in one night, the atrocious rumors that follow cause her dream boy to run away. Years later, on the face of it through fate, she runs into him on Facebook. By currently Lina could be an old mother of 2 and married to a person United Nations agency shrinks away at her bit, feat her life sexless and mirthless. Through desperation, she reignites the candle she perpetually controls for her past man, hanging up an exhilarating and illicit extracurricular affair.

Lastly, we've got Sloane, a lady United Nations agency appears to own it all. She’s thin, beautiful, rich, and co-owns a thriving eating house along with her husband United Nations agency adores her. although everything in Sloane’s world appears pristine and wholesome, what happens in her marital relationship is something, however. Her husband, Richard, likes to see Sloane have sex with different men, explanation pleasure from selecting his wife’s partners then looking at as they create love ahead of him.

13. THE KISS QUOTIENT

AUTHOR: Helen of Troy Hoang

GENRE: up to date Fiction | Romance

SUMMARY: The Kiss Quotient could be a gender-swap version of Pretty lady. Stella, an associate degree unfit lady with a giant brain and a good larger heart, hires archangel, knowledgeable male-escort, to show her how of the chamber.

Of course, it’s not as straightforward as that. Despite Stella’s rigorous lesson plans, she begins to fall for him. And not simply fall—obsess.

But archangel has some problems with his own—he incorporates a treacherous past and is continually living below the worry that he may be turning into his father, a very, terribly dangerous man.

This is a horny and fun amorous story that’s distinctive and refreshing.

14. to any or all THE BOYS I’VE adored BEFORE

AUTHOR: Jenny Han dynasty

GENRE: Young Adult Fiction | Romance

SUMMARY: to any or all the Boys I’ve adored Before is that the story of Lara Jean and also the love she’s unbrokenly buried deep during baggage.

Each time Lara Jeans falls loving, rather than confessing her feelings to the boy at the opposite finish, she writes an earnest letter. She pours her soul onto the page, then tucks the letter safely away, knowing it'll ne'er to be seen once more. Except, somehow, all of her letters realize their thanks to their never-intended recipients.

While mortifying, the general public reveals of her feelings wouldn’t be that dangerous, except that her sister’s freshly ex-boyfriend taunt received one.

To save face and take a look at to revive a number of her dignity, Lara Jean makes wear down Peter K., the school’s resident matinee idol.

As Lara Jean and Peter move their pretend relationship, she starts to understand perhaps she doesn’t have the sentiments for taunt she thought she had. And Peter isn’t in any respect like she thought he was.

[mhdiaries]

Diary of Howleen Wolf

Read my diary and I’ll make you howl!

On the 18th of July

Mom barked me out of bed this morning saying that I needed to get out of her fur for a few hours. It was that or help her with housework, and since yesterday I spent all day sweeping the attic.... sooo much dust!... I was out of the doggie-door before she could say boo. It’s hard not to feel screeching jealous of Clawd and Clawdeen, cause they always seem to be busy during the summer while I’m stuck at home playing cobweb cleanup. It’s tough being the little sister of two of the most popular monsters on campus - Clawdeen has her pack of friends, and Clawd has his bluddies and Draculaura, too. Meanwhile I texted my beast friend, Twyla, to see if she wanted to come lurk in the park with me today, but she can be pretty nocturnal. Not that I mind moonlighting with her, but sometimes a ghoul wants to get out in the sun, yanno? I took my soccer ball and got some solo practice in, but it’s just not as clawsome by yourself... it made me feel kind of lame, actually. I did see Venus sitting by the trees at on end of the park, but it seemed like she was having a really intense conversation with the oaks and I didn’t want to interrupt. I like Venus, but you have to watch out for her when she’s on the environmental warpath, or she’ll totally talk your ear off. Anyway, after a little while I got distracted listening... okay, eavesdropping... on her (who knew trees had so much drama?) and kicked the ball onto the casketball court where some older monsters were playing. They got fangry, and I wound up packing up and going home with my tail between my legs. Now I wish I’d ignored them and kept playing, cause now I’m bored again. Sooo. Boooored. I’d even listen to Venus lecture me about the dangers of styrofoam... at least it would be something to do!

On the 23rd of July

It’s hard not to feel funky when everyone besides me has things figured out for themselves. Clawdeen has fashion and Clawd has sports, and they both seem to just know what they want. Mom and Dad say I shouldn’t compare myself to them, or anyone else, but that’s such parent advice that I don’t feel like it should count. Besides, it’s not like I don’t know what I want to do... well, okay, it IS that, but it’s also that I want to do everything?? Like, once I spent two weeks trying to make a viral video for FrightTube. Then the week after that I decided that it was totally my destiny to be a superstar singer. Then three weeks later I was totally focused on my future as a Howlympian athlete! And I haven’t stopped wanting to do any of that stuff, but it’s too hard to do it all, and impossible to pick only one, especially cause I don’t know what I’m really good at yet. I feel like I’m getting to a point where I choose or I lose. I mean, what if I discover my hidden talents too late to do anything with them? It’d be so, so tragic. That’s why I’ve been trying so much different stuff this year - music lessons, dance class, everything I can get my claws on. Something will click sooner or later, right?

On the 29th of July

Today I heard... okay maybe eavesdropped on... Draculaura telling Clawd about a big open mic poetry scream going on at the Coffin Bean at the end of the summer. I went on their web site page to check it out, and now I think I might want to try it out, too? I mean I’ve written some poetry, and I’m always accidentally rhyming all the time. And my hip-hop dance classes have totally infused me with the muse... see what I mean? Yeah... I think I want to do this! But I gotta text Twyla and see if she’ll come out for moral support. It’s at night, and the Coffin Bean is usually pretty dark, so she’ll have no excuse not to come - besides, she loves their cupquakes.

On the 30th of July

I finally talked Twyla into going to the Maul with me. If you let her she’d probably stay in the shadows all summer, but lucky for her I won’t let lurking boogiemen lie! We went to the fur salon, and I picked out some new colors for my ‘do - I’ve been letting it go natural lately, but that doesn’t stop me from switching up my style all the time. I wound up buying like five different colors because I couldn’t decide on just one. After that we split a big booberry smoothie at the food corpse and we talked for a long while. Well... mostly I talked, Twy listened, because she’s a clawsome listener. She let me howl about how was I supposed to pick what I wanted to do with the rest of my life if I couldn’t even pick a hair color? I asked her what she thought I should do, and she got this really freaky intense look, like she was thinking hard, and then she flicked my ear and said, “I think what you really want to do is plan out your whole life before you live it, and you can’t do that, so stop stressing out.” Which is both good advice and totally useless because you can’t stop stressing out just because you want to, like, when has that ever worked in all monster history? But I do feel better, somehow. I think it helped to just talk about it to someone who gets me and doesn’t laugh when I say dumb stuff. She also agreed to come cheer me on at the poetry scream. There’s a reason Twyla is my beastie. =)

On the 10th of August

Clawd and Clawdeen actually weren’t busy today for once. Even though they’re a pain in the fang, hanging with them can still be scary-fun. Sometimes. Clawd talked us into playing a pick-up soccer game in the backyard, and Clawdeen didn’t even get growly when she fell into one of the holes Clawd made along the fence... he likes to bury things in the dirt and dig them up later. I think it’s a boy thing. We’ve all got game, and later we did get into an argument about who had the most points - we’d said we weren’t keeping score, but no duh, of course we all were! But no one got their fur in a frizz about it for a change. After a while we were making up the biggest number we could think of and howling with laughter. Dad said later he almost didn’t want to call us inside for dinner because he loves seeing us act like one big happy pack. I think he misses when all my even bigger brothers and sisters were still at home... Mom teases that he’s got empty den syndrome. I miss my older brothers and sisters sometimes, too, but they aren’t that far away. (Plus, not that they’ve moved out, the wait for the bathroom is a LOT shorter.)

On the 13th of August

I think I’m getting cold paws. The poetry scream is in just a few days, and my brain has been going all over the place since I said I’d go. What if I get stage fright? What if I totally blank and forget the whole poem? What if I’m not even that good? ...Ugh, okay, I texted Twyla, and she convinced me not to give up the ghost. Plus she pointed out that since it’s open mic, I can always just show up and decided if I want to go ahead with it when I get there. Sometimes I wish I could borrow Clawdeen’s confidence, not just her clothes... she never seems scared of anything.

On the 18th of August

Whoa, I’m still shaking. The Coffin Bean was WAY more packed than I thought it would be. There had to be dozens of monsters there, and I was a total casket case even with my beastie at my side until I ran into Clawd and Draculaura. I sort of hadn’t told them I’d be there, so they were scary surprised to see me. And then they found out I was sort of thinking about maybe performing, they wouldn’t let me get away with not doing it. So I signed up and waited for my turn, even though I was so howling nervous I could barely hear the poets on before me, and then it was my turn. I was so wound up that my eyes were practically crossing with fright, but I saw my bro and Draculaura waving from the audience, and Twy giving me the claws-up, I sucked it up and read my poem. I had it memorized and gave it everything I had, and the monsters in the crowd really seemed to dig it. I didn’t like completely bring the house down, but when even the zombies slow-clapped at the end and Clawd whooped for me it felt just little bit epic. Then Draculaura when on with this mega-romantic and sweet poem and she had the whole audience wailing like banshees. Even I got a little teary-eyed, and Clawd was whimpering into his coffinchino... he made me promise not to tell anyone lol. Of course she won first place for the night - not that I’m moaning. She totally deserved it, and I came i third, which made me feel pretty clawsome about the whole thing. Even Clawd was patting me on the back and bragging that I was his little sis to anyone who’d listen... which was embarrassing, but whatever, kind of nice too. =) I gave Twyla the biggest hug for staying with me, too, especially since crowds are one of her fangups. I have to say, I really liked tackling my fears... it makes me think maybe I’m ready for a whole new me next year! Watch out, Monster High!

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