#How To Stop My Cat From Peeing On My Bed

[whateveriwant]

The 141 getting you to stay in bed

It gets a little spicy towards the end so 18+ please

Soap

Waking up to the feeling of a numb arm is extremely unpleasant, but you suppose it comes with the territory when trying to cuddle 200+ pounds of rugged Scotsman

You manage to free your trapped limb and roll to the other side of the bed, but that space behind you remains empty for only about three seconds before Johnny's pressing himself flat to your back 

Now with his arms around your waist, he holds you tight to him, mumbling unintelligibly against the back of your head

He drifts back to sleep quickly enough, his grip on you starting to loosen, only for it to tighten again when he feels you try to wriggle out of his hold

The incoherent grumbles from his throat grow increasingly displeased the more you try to shift away from him, until finally he huffs a grumpy, “Quit it,” into your scalp, hooking his leg over yours 

If you still don't listen, he'll have no choice but to take drastic measures to keep you still. Fed up with your squirming, he simply rolls on top of you, pinning you to the mattress below him

You can try beating on his back, telling him that you can't breathe, but he just shrugs and says, “Use my breath.”

Don't even bother trying to explain how oxygen doesn't work like that, because he doesn't care. “Tough,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck. “‘Cause I'm no' movin’.” And by extension, neither are you

Gaz

Kyle is also a stage 5 clinger, but he's less boa constrictor and more baby koala

So when your alarm goes off at 8am precisely, it's no surprise that the man behind you grumbles in protest

“It's Saturday,” he bemoans. “Why you getting up so bloody early?” When you tell him you like to keep your routine even on the weekends, he just groans and mutters, “Five more minutes.”

You can try to squirm and wrestle out of his hold, but he'll just tighten his arm around your midsection, keeping his front firmly glued to your back

But you need to get up! You have to pee for goodness’ sake! 

“Use the empty bottle on your nightstand,” he mumbles into your hair, peeking an eye open as you crane to look back at him. The look you give him at such a horrid suggestion has him sighing. “Alright, fine,” he relents and releases you. “But be quick. Bed gets cold without you.”

Once you've answered the call of nature, don't be surprised to find Kyle waiting for you directly outside the bathroom. He's wrapped up in your comforter like an oversized burrito, only his face and feet visible as they peek out from under the plush cover

With a sleepy pout, he holds his hand out for you, tugging you back to bed with him. Oh, he’ll make sure you get those five more minutes alright. Even if he has to drag you kicking and screaming

Ghost

First of all, don't even kid yourself into thinking you'll stand a chance of waking up before him or sneaking out of bed without him knowing. This man is the epitome of a light sleeper, whenever he does sleep, that is

So when you do finally wake up, it comes as no surprise to see Simon already up too. But just because you're both awake now doesn't mean you have to immediately be productive; quite the opposite, in fact

With how busy and stressed he is all the time, Simon loves nothing more than to just lie in bed with you and do nothing for hours

If you try to get up, he's stopping you with a gentle hand on your wrist, his voice quiet but firm as he commands, “Stay.”

You'll lay back down for a bit to appease him, but it won't be long before you feel guilty since you have so many things you should be doing instead

But actually, no, you don't have  anything to worry about. He's already taken care of everything before you woke up, he humbly informs you

The cat's been fed, the bin’s been taken out to the curb, he's even gotten your breakfast typed up on his phone – just give him the word and he'll place the order

So now when he opens his arms for you, having you bury your face in his chest, you've got nothing to worry about except savoring this moment with him 

Price

John is also a very light sleeper, so it only takes .02 seconds of you trying to stand from the bed for his bear-like snores to cease and his eyes to flit wide open

He'll grab you by the shirt hem, mumbling, “Where’re y’ goin’?” But it doesn't really matter what your answer is because his response is always the same: “No y’r not.” And pulls you back down. “Y’r stayin’ right here.”

He'll lie on his stomach, face smushed in the pillow, a big, warm hand tucked under your shirt resting against your belly

With nothing better to do, you scroll through your phone, catching up on your socials, the news, etc., but it's not long before you hear him grumble, “Put that away, will ya? ‘S too early to be meltin’ your brain with that thing.”

Well, what does he expect you to do? Lie there and stare at the ceiling for an hour? “Expect you to be good,” he tells you. “Don't make me get the handcuffs out again.”

Now that you have to laugh at. If he thinks it's too early to be on your phone, it's definitely too early for that

He smirks, opening his eye just a sliver, and the hand on your stomach begins to rub soft circles. “Is that so?” he taunts, his touch sneakily edging downwards. And when he slips beneath the band of your shorts, well…

Let's just say you're not leaving that bed anytime soon

[dira333]

for the fluff prompt: listening to the rain while lying in bed with Suna

so weird thinking about rain when it's sunny outside.

-

When you wake up, you already know falling asleep will be an impossible task. Not when the love of your life rests heavily on your full bladder.

"Get off me," you say, your voice soft despite the harsh command.

Rintarou huffs out a breath, not at all convincing you that he's as deeply asleep as he pretends to be.

"I'm going to pee on your face," you threaten him next, your hand threaded into the soft fluff at his neck.

"Empty words," he grumbles back.

"How did you even end up down there?"

"Moved in my sleep, woke up with my head on your stomach. Not complaining, it's nice."

"For you."

"Hm, like I said."

You groan, trying to shuffle out from under him. But he's heavy and his hold is as tight as can be. Curse this athlete's strength.

"If you let me get out of bed so I can pee, I'll bring back a snack on the way back."

"Fine," he slowly lets go. "But only because you asked so nicely."

-

There's a cupboard in the hallway, just outside the bathroom door. The top drawer is filled with sweets for moments like these and you grab a few, stopping just a few feet from the bed when you notice the sky outside.

"It's raining," you tell Rintarou, walking the short distance to press your nose against the cold window. "Cats and dogs, I tell you."

"Good," he drawls from the bed, turning to squint at you. "Come back to bed."

"In a minute," you promise, opening the window instead to inhale the fresh, humid air. It had been so hot the last few days that the rain is more than welcome. It's soft pitter-patter on the ground, on the tiles of your balcony, it's just the right background music for a soft morning.

"Come back to bed," Rintarou whines, low enough that he could pretend he said something else if you asked him about it, but you caught it just in time.

"Coming, coming." You shuffle back and slide under the warm covers, huffing out a laugh when he drapes himself over you again, his head nestled against your stomach.

"Aren't you going for a jog?" You tease, hands in his hair again.

"Do you not love me anymore?" He asks back.

[rinkkuma]

୨୧ BF SATORU

ft. satoru gojo

tags. gn!reader, a bit of cussing, all fluff ! / author's note. IHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i've actually been going insane because of how much he's taking up my mind) first post of 2024 had to be my one and only of course :3

uses you as an arm rest even if you're a tiny bit shorter than him. (satoru is 6'3 / 190cm for reference) if you're really short though, he has to lean down more and he's standing like the leaning tower of pisa, so he looks silly.

FACE CARD. he's actually the most majestic, gorgeous, beautiful man alive. up close, far away, from the left, from the right, above, below, he looks so fucking good. don't even get me started on when he has his glasses on.

satoru has a million gazillion of those skincare headbands with ears. he has a few cat ones, a hello kitty one, a kuromi one, and many many more. he even has a whole drawer dedicated to the headbands. (that is very close to overloading) he looks super duper cute with them though, so you never have the heart to tell him to stop buying every headband in existence.

whenever he feeds you something, he puts his hand under your chin to catch any crumbs. a tiny gesture to him, a big one for you. he smiles when your eyes widen and you mumble a “it's good”, and proceeds to poke your cheek.

satoru puts his hand above your head to make sure you don't bump your head whenever you go under a table to pick something up.

he is ever so slightly awkward in the beginning of your relationship, but it's cute! the first time you fell asleep on him, he was terrified to move because he was afraid to accidentally wake you up. 2 hours later satoru really really needed to pee, but decided not to get up because of how much it felt like a crime to wake you up. (you ended waking up anyways because of how much he was fidgeting.)

tucks your hair behind your ears before you can even realize it's bothering you. he looks at you with the most lovesick expression as he does this. he also does this while you're falling asleep, or already fast asleep.

before bed or as you guys wind down for the night, he more than often bursts out laughing at a random thought or a funny memory. scares the shit out of you because one; he's right by your ear, and two; his laugh is loud as fuck. he can't even explain what he was laughing about until a solid three minutes because of how much he was laughing. (and it ends up not being that funny.)

adding onto the above, he's the type to think everything is funny as shit at night. every reel, tiktok, you name it. (even if it's the unfunniest video known to mankind) sometimes if you're already asleep, he has to step out into the bathroom or living room to let out these laughs.

wipes the sweat off his face by pulling his shirt up. he looks at you with a smug fucking smile after.

his contact name for you on his phone is definitely some cheesy pet name (sweet cheeks, baby cakes) with a bunch of heart emojis. his contact photo for you is another story though. constantly changing from a close up picture to a picture of you sleeping.

satoru gets cuteness aggression a lot because of you. clenching his fist and sighing before squeezing you into a tight hug. he'll occasionally bite your shoulder too.

a human radiator. the first time you touched him you thought he had a severe fever, but he calmly told you he was warm all the time. it absolutely sucks during summer because he insists to cuddle with you, and most than often you wake up sweaty. (even with the ac blasting) of course, you try to move out of his grasp when he's asleep, but he only pulls you closer subconsciously when you do. during the winter though, you are so thankful. despite the various blankets you have on, it was hard to get warm and comfortable, but with the warmth of satoru you're nice and warm.

bickers with you if you're on his side of the couch. yes, satoru does unassigned assigned seats at home too. you two playfully argue for a few minutes until he eventually huffs and just sits down on. these arguments are useless though because he ends up pulling you next to him to cuddle.

he's actually really good at taking people when they're sick. making sure you're staying warm under the covers, feeding you proper nutrition and making sure you're drinking enough water. he occasionally leaves the room for you to rest since he doesn't want his naturally warm body making you even warmer, but if he ever sees you up (you're going to the bathroom) he jumps off the couch and pushes you back into bed.

satoru suggests movie nights at home on quiet weekends. turning on an animated movie or romantic movie most of the time. he tucks you into his side with a blanket draped over the two of you. he ends up just staring at you the majority of the movie though.

does that thing where he tells you your shoelace is untied, (which prompts you to look down) and grabs your chin and tilts your head up to look at him. he smirks triumphantly. he does this multiple times a week, and you fall for it every time.

he spoils the fuck out of you on your birthday. gives you the amount of kisses the same age you're turning, listing number of reasons why they love you based on your age, and don't even get me started with how many gifts he gives you. dances while he sings you happy birthday.

once you start dating, you never are tying your own shoe ever again. before going out, he demands you to sit on the couch while he ties your shoes for you. when they get untied, he normally notices it before you. but if you do notice before him and you begin to crouch down, he rushes to crouch down before you and pushes your hand away.

likes comparing hand sizes with you. he has big ass hands, so he likes seeing how small yours are compared to his. totally not an excuse to hold your hand though, not that he would ever admit it.

[spencereidluver]

F is for First Date

september 15, 2008

summary: You and Spencer go on your first date to a little coffee shop before work. You convince him to try your coffee, and he finds he enjoys it.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none. just fluff and spencer being a gentleman

You roll over in your bed, throwing the covers off of your body. It was hot. Why was it so hot? You look over to your alarm cock: 8:03 a.m. You were running late. 45 minutes late, actually. Luckily, your apartment is only a few blocks away from the office, however, you typically left at 8:10. That left you 7 minutes to do your normal hour long routine.

You quickly jump up from your bed, letting the blankets fall wherever they pleased. Honestly, what’s the point in making the bed? You’re just going to tear it apart in your sleep tonight, anyways. You jog slightly to your bathroom, grabbing your hairbrush and multitasking as you did your morning pee. You brushed your teeth in record time, definitely not two minutes, but at least the morning breath was gone.

You went back to your room, slipping off your flannel pajama pants and gray “Harvard” shirt. You didn’t go to Harvard. You just liked the oversized shirt. 

You grabbed a nude-toned bra out of your dresser and clasped it behind your back. You slid a white lace top over your head and threw a tan fuzzy cardigan on. You put a pair of dark tights on and pulled a dark brown leather miniskirt over them, tucking the white top in. You slid on thick white socks on, ones that ended at your mid-shin, and put on a pair of black converse. 

Good enough, you thought to yourself, not bothering to put on makeup. You planned to stay in the office today. No meetings, and pray to god no cases. You just wanted a chill day.

You left your apartment at 8:15, not much later than you normally did, you’d just have to take out the coffee stop this morning. 

______

You nearly drop your bag as you’re rushing through the parking lot, trying desperately to enter the building before 8:30. Not only were you up late this morning, but traffic was a bitch. It wouldn’t be a big deal if you were a few minutes late, however you’ve been petulant in your 9 months and don’t plan to start truancy now. 

Of course, Derek, who 9 times out of 10 is fashionablly late, sees you speed walking through the parking lot.

“Hey Sweetheart, what are you doing in so late?” He jokingly cat-calls you through the lot.

“Slept late,” You respond in a yell, not slowing your step at all.

“Aw, baby needs her beauty sleep?” “Something like that.”

You rush into the building, crossing through the glass doors of the BAU office right as the clock struck 8:30, Derek somehow a full two minutes behind you. You walk over to your desk and place your knitted tote bag filled with personal items on the ground beneath you. Sitting in your chair, you plop the stack of paperwork in front of you, and look at the man across from you.

“Morning, Spence,” You say as you open the file.

“Goodmorning, y/n. How was your morning?” He asks curiously. 

“Well, I overslept and didn’t have time for a coffee stop, but luckily I was having a good hair day so it doesn’t matter. How about you?”

“Well I couldn’t even tell. You look great. My morning was alright. I got my coffee.” He mockingly takes a big sip before standing up and excusing himself. 

You didn’t know where he was going, though you had enough paperwork to let it pass through your mind. You quickly began scribbling through the papers and placing files where they needed to go. You forgot how messy you’d left your desk Friday when you returned from a case. You were in a big hurry to leave and go to dinner with the team, you just threw everything from the case on your desk and scrammed. It wasn’t a big deal though, it was just easy, boring paperwork. 

Spencer returned a few minutes later with a coffee cup in hand. He approached your desk. “Hey, y/n,” he says, you move your attention from the paperwork to him towering over you. “I made you a coffee. I um, I put two sugars in it, I hope that’s alright, I’ve seen you drink it like that before and-”

“It’s perfect, Spence, thank you.” You say, taking the cup as he hands it down to you.

He hurries to his chair and hides his face. You curiously turned the cup around. There, you saw the inscription of his homely handwriting. “y/n: do you want to go out for coffee tomorrow morning before work? -Spence.” 

You smiled, and went to look up at him, but he instinctively scurried away. Though, he’d left his half drank cup of coffee on his desk. You walk over to his, and flop down in his chair, it almost swallowing you whole as the leather back had fitted to his broader shoulders. You grab the coffee and a Sharpie marker from his pencil cup. “Spence: of course I do… 7:30? <3”

You get up and return to your  desk, almost on cue, Spencer returns. You were unsure of where he came from, though it didn’t matter. He sat at his desk, and you nodded your head to the cup. He looked confused for a brief second, before bringing it to his eyes to read it. 

He looked up and smiled at you. “ 7:30 sounds great, I’ll meet you there,” he says.

“Okay! I’m parking here and walking, if you wish to join,” you say, taking a sip of the special made coffee. It was no different than how you normally made it, but it tasted special because of who made it.

“I’ll meet you in the parking lot here, then. How’s that?” “That’s perfect, Spence.”

You return to your paperwork, unable to hide the smile on your face. You’d waited so long for this moment, you couldn’t believe it was finally happening. You caught Spencer smiling a few times as well. You wondered how long he’d wanted to ask you out. You’ve found Spencer attractive since the day you started working here. You were so beyond ecstatic something was finally happening between the two of you. 

You finished your coffee quickly. It was the best coffee you have ever tasted. You thought briefly for a second, before going to the kitchen to clean the styrofoam cup out. You made sure it was no longer sticky or had any coffee residue before drying it completely and taking it back to your desk. You open the small pencil drawer of your desk and pull out four sticky notes. Notes Spencer had left you in the past few weeks. You placed the four notes in the cup and placed a new lid on it. Putting the cup in the side drawer, you smiled to yourself. You’ve kept every note Spencer has ever given you. And you don’t plan on stopping any time soon.

_____

‘7:28,’ the clock on the dash of your car read. You looked in your rearview mirror at the road behind you. There was Spencer in his old man car. You’d been early, nervous about your date, though you knew it would go good. You wore a fitted white turtleneck with a knitted tank top sweater vest of different shades of brown on top. You paired this with a khaki skirt and the same pair of black converse. You realized this was a very Spencer-esque outfit, and it was quite possible you and him could have nearly the exact same outfit on today.

Luckily, Spencer picked from the other side of his closet this morning. He approached you wearing dark brown slacks and black converse as well. He had his satchel pulled over his waist, drawing attention to the way he swayed as he walked. He had a dark, though not as dark as his pants, sweater that was open, and underneath was a collared off-white shirt and a diagonally striped tie. His left hand rested on his satchel, and his right was hidden behind his back. He did his little hoppy jog to your car, you having opened the door, grabbing your knitted tote bag, and beginning to make your way around to him.

“Good morning, y/n,” he says as he reaches you. 

“Hi, Spence,” You didn’t know why, but you were suddenly very shy. Maybe because this was a “formal date,” but you’d been on friend dates with Spencer so many times before. 

Spencer was clearly nervous too, though less than you. His hand from behind his back made itself known, in his fist was a single red rose. “I um, I got this for you. I know it’s only one, but I actually saw a flower patch on my way here and I didn’t want to take them all.” He was rambling.

“I love it, it’s perfect.” You grab the rose from his hand, letting your fingers run over the petals. They were smooth. He could see you were trying not to touch the stem too much, as you were trying not to touch the thorns. 

“I picked all the thorns off so you didn’t hurt yourself. I don’t have any water for it or anything…”

You examined the stem. You saw all the spots where thorns once laid. He was so sweet. Not only did he make a stop to pick you a rose, but he also safety coded it. You were going to keep this rose forever. You knew it. You planned on pressing the flowers once you got home from work that night. Maybe you could keep the petals in the “note drawer,” or maybe you could start a new drawer..

“Spencer, hey, I love it okay. Thank you.” You slid the stem of the rose between two knits of your bag, it poking inside and the flower on the outside like a pin. You saw Spencer smile. He was proud of himself. 

The two of you began to walk through the parking lot. Spencer paid careful attention to your feet, matching his gate exactly with yours. As you neared the end of the parking lot, reaching the sidewalk next to a fairly busy street, you felt a hand gently brush your waist. Spencer switched sides, him now being on the side adjacent to the road. First flowers, and now this? This boy was a true gentleman.

You smiled to yourself. Technically, the date hadn’t even begun yet, but you were already certain you wanted a relationship to blossom from this. You looked to the man to your left, the sun in a position to hit against his face in a way that made him look like an angel. You couldn’t help yourself. You reached over and took hold of his hand. He jumped slightly, before gripping a little too tight. He looked down at you and smiled. 

“You’re so pretty, y/n,” Spencer said. He’d been waiting what seemed like years- though only 9 months- to tell you that. You didn’t know where Spencer learned how to flirt, but frankly you didn’t care. You really liked this side of him.

“I think you’re pretty too, Spence.” You said. He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. Wow.

______

The coffee shop made itself known once you reached the top of a hill. The natural brick on the outside makes it look homey. It was about a 10 minute walk from the parking lot of the BAU, but Spencer and you were agents. You made the walk take a total of eight minutes. Speed walking isn’t a training module for the FBI, though it is definitely learned, and quickly. 

Spencer opened the door and allowed for you to enter first. Yet another gentlemanly move today. The smell of coffee filled your noses. It reminded you of Spencer. He always had coffee breath, yet not the nasty kind. He always seemed to smell so wonderful.

“Hello,” the barista at the counter cheerfully said as you and Spencer entered the small building. The two of you approached her. “What can I get for you guys today?”

You order your regular and Spencer orders a black coffee with a LOT of sugar. You retrieve the coffees from the pick up area and sit at a raised table in the corner next to a window.

“Why do you like black coffee?” you ask him. 

“I’m not sure. I always drank it when I was growing up and throughout college… and honestly, I’ve never tried it any other way.” He responded, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Really?” you said surprised. “With how much coffee you drink, I’m surprised you haven’t ventured into new territory even once.”

“Not once.” He took another sip. You noticed him kicking his feet beneath the table.

“Do you want to try a sip of mine?”

He smiled, crinkling his nose up. “Sure, do you want to try mine?”

“I guess I’ll give it a shot, though I will say I’m not the biggest fan of black coffee, so don’t be mad if I don’t like it.”

“I can’t promise anything, I can’t even say I’m going to like your girly drink.” He was teasing.

“I’ll tell you what Spence. You like my coffee and I’ll buy you a croissant. I like your coffee, you buy me a croissant. Deal?”

“It’s a deal, y/l/n.”

You switched cups. He gave it a sniff before popping open the lid to see inside. Tensley, he took a sip. You saw his eyes bulge. Licking his lips as he brought the cup down, he wrinkled his nose once again. He brought the cup back up, taking another sip. 

“You know what, I think you owe me a croissant.”

You smiled at  him, before taking a sip of his old man coffee, you cocked your head to the side. 

“You don’t like it, do you?” He laughed. 

You quickly sat the cup down and jumped up from your seat. You walked up to the counter, and ordered one regular croissant. Returning to the table with the plastic container in hand, you tossed in down in front of him. 

He opened the container, and tore a piece of the pastry off. He took a bite, and attempted to slide the container to you. In the process, it collided with his cup of coffee which was still situated on your side, causing it to spill all over your blouse. 

“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, at least it wasn’t hot anymore.” You reach for the few napkins on the table, trying to dry yourself off despite knowing it wouldn’t do anything.

You were giggling, but Spencer didn’t find this one bit funny. He felt awful. You began to attempt wiping the table with the napkins, but were stopped by Spencer’s hand grabbing your damp-sleeved arm. 

“Hey, don’t worry about the table. I got it.” He gets up to go get napkins from the counter, before stopping in his tracks. He turns around and comes back to you, sitting in the chair using the sleeve of your sweater to stop the liquid from pouring onto your skirt and the ground. “Y/n, do you want to wear my sweater?”

This takes you a bit off guard. For a second, you forget your soaking wet with warm coffee. Your voice catches in your throat as you try to speak, but Spencer is already unbuttoning the two fastened buttons and sliding the sweater off his shoulders.

“You can go to the bathroom and change. I’ve got the mess, okay?” He hands you the sweater and makes room for you to move around him. You rush to the bathroom, trying not to leave a trail of coffee droplets through the lobby.

Turning into a stall, you immediately begin taking your sweater and white shirt off, tossing white one in the small garbage can. There was no way you’d be able to get the coffee stains out, and plus, the shirt was only $4 on sale at WalMart. Only left in your wire bra, you slip the brown sweater on. You button it all the way up, but as it’s a men’s sweater, it’s a little more of a V-neck than you’d like, especially since you were going to work soon. You tucked one side of the sweater into your skirt, letting the other side hang over to create dimension in your outfit and make it less simple. You toss your damp sweater vest over your shoulder and exit the bathroom.

Spencer was waiting for you when you came out. He’d gotten the mess cleaned up and was ready to leave. He grabs your hand, leading you outside the doors to begin your walk back to work. 

_____

next chapter: G is for Girlfriend

other parts: Spencer Reid A-Z Masterlist

view the masterlist in a calendar version! 

_____

a/n: sorry it took so long on this chapter, i've been pretty busy. hopefully i can get the next few out quickly as i hope to release part m (the christmas themed) on christmas day.

_____

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[idkwhatever580]

I threw it away

Masterlist<< I mostly write Natasha romanoff but if you have a request I’ll be happy to write Regina.

Pairings: Regina George x reader

Prompt: weight had never been a tricky thing for y/n. Until she started dating Regina.

Warnings: bad relationships with food/weight

A/N: idk I wanted to write something like this to show that an ED or a relationship with weight can change even when you’re older and not just at girlhood i guess? Just remember that you are so perfect and loved.

Y/n’s pov

I started dating Regina during the summer between our junior and senior year.

I used to be friends with Janis. That is until I found out what she did to Regina.

I don’t care if a girl is your mortal enemy. You don’t mess around with her biggest insecurities. Even if it’s what she flaunts the most.

Especially not weight. Those Kalteen bars were horrible of janis to do.

I slowly just got “busier” over time. And I eventually just stopped talking to Janis all together. I didn’t want to surround myself with that energy.

So after Regina got hit by that bus I started visiting her and trying to make it up to her.

It might not have happened if I just told her what they did.

But then again, we might not have started dating. So back to now.

I basically have been living at Regina’s place. I spend the night a lot, but if I go home then Gina is always picking me up when I can go.

My parents don’t care much. They say that I’m allowed to live my life. Thank goodness they’re laid back. Of course not as much as Mrs George but they believe that as long as I’m not getting drunk, high, or pregnant then I’m good.

I’m in Gina’s room and she gets up and says

“I’m going to the bathroom.”

I get up to go with her.

“Okay!”

She’s like the black cat and I’m like the golden retriever. But we work really well together.

She walks in and does her business and then after she washes her hands and all, she decides to head over to the scale.

I’ve never used it. But she uses it all the time.

She breaks me out of my thoughts when she thinks out loud

“Yes! Back down to my ideal 120 pounds” (about 54 kilograms?)

I frown. I’ve never heard her say her weight before. And I say

“Congrats baby! Was that from all the kalteen bars?”

She nods her head and says

“I finally worked all the weight off”

I smile and kiss her and say

“That’s great. Why don’t you go tell your mom?”

She shrugs and says

“Eh. It doesnt matter. I’m gonna go back to the room okay?”

I nod my head and say

“I’m gonna pee”

She doesn’t stay since I’m a bit pee shy still so when she leaves I quickly run to the scale and check my weight.

Definitely not Regina’s ideal weight.

Suddenly I feel this rush of guilt fall over me. I walk back to her bed and crawl in with her. As she scrolls through her phone, I get lost in my thoughts.

If Regina tells me I’m perfect the way I am then why would she lie? Obviously she wants to be a certain weight. And if it’s her ideal weight then she clearly wants me to be that way too. I need to lose more weight. Maybe I’ll start a diet. That’s good. I’ll start a diet and just won’t tell Gina until I hit her desired weight and then she’ll think I’m perfect for real.

“What’s on your mind?”

I snap out of it and shake my head

“Nothing! Just watching videos over your shoulder”

She squints at me and says

“Alright. You know if you need anything you can tell me right?”

I nod my head.

Then all of a sudden Mrs George comes into the room and says

“Hey girls! I just wanted to let you know that I made my world famous cookies and they’re cooling in the kitchen right now if you wanted to grab them while they’re warm.”

I smile and Regina gets up so I follow.

She grabs one and says

“Aren’t you gonna eat one?”

I shake my head and say

“I’m not hungry.”

She hums and says

“But you love my mom’s cookies. You always eat a few”

I just now realized how much I eat of those and get slightly flustered so I say

“I’m just not hungry right now”

She nods her head and eats her cookie.

They do smell heavenly. But I must stay strong.

We head back upstairs after Gina finishes her cookie and I go on my phone to look up good diet routines. I find a decent one to start with.

If I don’t like it then I’ll do another one.

So I text my mom and ask her if she can get a few things the next time she goes to the store and she agrees.

Then I turn around and yawn.

“Y/n are you sleepy?”

I nod my head and she says

“Take a nap baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

I smile and let my eyes flutter closed and Regina whispers into my ear

“My perfect girl”

I smile at her even though it’s fake. I don’t feel perfect anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a few weeks on this diet and it’s hard. It’s hard for me to reject a bunch of the foods I love.

Thankfully Mrs George also makes some keto versions of her food every now and then so I can eat those.

I have a routine now. Every time I go to the bathroom I check my weight right after. I check my weight in the mornings and in the evenings. But only at Regina’s house since I am here all the time.

We’re watching tv on her bed and I say

“I gotta pee. I’ll be right back”

Gina nods and says

“Kk”

I do my business and wash my hands. But it isn’t until I go to where her scale is that I find it’s not there.

I look around the room and I don’t see it anywhere.

“Gina?”

I say loud enough for her to hear me.

“Yeah?”

Once I know I have her attention I say

“Where’s the scale?”

“Oh.. I threw it away”

After she says that I walk quickly to the room and say

“What?! What do you mean you threw it away?”

She shrugs as always and says

“I threw it away”

“Why would you do that? I need to see my weight.”

She gets up and comes to me and says

“I threw it away because I noticed that you’ve been doing this thing where you check your weight all the time.”

“Well you check yours all the time too!”

For some reason this is like a huge deal to me. I just want to be perfect for her. She grabs my hand and sits me down and says

“I know. I realized how bad that can be for my mental health. So I decided that I was going to lose the weight from those nasty kalteen bars and then start fresh. I, of course, have been having a healthy balance between my food intake. But it’s not a huge deal if I lose weight or gain weight. As long as I’m healthy.”

I look at her and say

“Oh. That’s nice.”

She nods her head and continues

“I noticed that once I stopped, you started. And I didn’t want that for you. You have never had to worry about your weight before because it was never a bad thing in your house. Most girls would call you lucky. And I don’t want you to start thinking bad about yourself now”

I frown and say

“But you said the ideal weight is 120?” (54)

She sighs and says

“I said that wrong. I wanted to get back to my baseline and start taking care of myself properly. The only reason I lost that weight in the first place was because I didn’t want to feel like Janis had that hold on my body anymore. If I was gonna gain weight it was going to be for myself. And because of myself. Not for anyone else and not because of anyone else.”

I nod my head in understanding and she puts one of her hands on my cheek and the other on my waist and says

“I’m sorry you ever felt less than perfect because of a stupid slip up I made. Your body is literally so beautiful.”

I doubt her until she says things that most people think are ugly

“From your beautiful stretch marks. Right down to the cellulite in your legs. It’s all beautiful. Perfect. And honestly. You’re so healthy. You work out. You’re strong. You have a good balance with food. Well, you did before you started whatever diet thing you have going on. And you are literally like a puzzle piece for me. The way we can cuddle perfectly. I love your soft tummy because I can nap on it and be so comfortable. I love your ass and tits because they make great handles for… sexy times…”

I giggle and she continues.

“I love how each and every scar and divot and bump and mark on your body tells a story. It makes you, you. And I would change that for the world. So I threw the scale away. If I’m starting new. Then you are too.”

I sigh as I get a fluttery feeling in my heart and stomach and I hug her. I finally say

“Thank you. Thank you so much”

She shakes her head and says

“No thank you. You’re the one who convinced me I’m perfect the way I am. And now it’s my turn to do the same.”

I pull away and she says

“Why don’t we go downstairs. I think my mom is making us a snack”

I smile and nod my head.

We head downstairs and Mrs George is making snickerdoodles and I smell the air and say

“It smells delicious!”

She smiles and says

“I made some keto ones for your diet y/n!”

She pulls out one singular cookie that was set apart from the others and I say

“Oh. No thanks. I’m not gonna diet anymore. My body is perfect the way it is.”

She smiles and nods her head affirming that and then hands each of us a cookie that is still warm and soft from the oven.

I hum when I take the first bite and Gina does it at the same time as me so we end up giggling from it.

This time. I eat two cookies and Gina does the same.

Then Gina asks

“Mom? What did you do with that other cookie?”

She turns around and says

“Oh! I threw it in the trash.”

Gina nods and turns to me. I smile at her and say

“Slay”

We love a good parallel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I hope y’all liked it! It’s my first time writing Regina George. But I’m thinking of writing a prequel to this and doing how Janis and y/n had their fall out. And when y/n started being friends with Regina. Let me know what y’all think!

Taglist

@ilovesnat @ihartnat @marvelnatasha12346 @moistblobfish

[draczrys]

please i need modern!lucerys headcanons 🙏🙏 if you don't do modern aus ghost!luke i think would be fun

harry gilby my fav luke fancast <333

SWEET BOY. ❨ modern!lucerys velaryon headcanons ❩

his love language is quality time

"i'm home!" luke's voice rang out through the small london apartment, pulling you from your book to find him bundling three bags through the front door.

"i thought you were spending the day with your mum and jace?" you asked, brows knitted, setting down the ear-marked novel to turn on the couch.

luke shrugged and abandoned the tesco bags at the door, an arm on either side of your head whilst he ducks to peck your lips. "but you're going away tomorrow for a few days, so i wanted to spend the day with you instead."

your lips pull into a small smile, reaching up to find his cold lips again. luke chuckles against them, nudging at your nose. "pick a movie, i'll go put the snacks in a bowl."

he’s a cat person

a month into living together, luke arrived home with a bashful grin and a suspicious lump under his coat. after bracing you, he produced the most adorable little black kitten from his pocket. between the animal's big eyes and luke's pout, how could you say no?

arrax quickly became part of the family, growing into a beautiful sleek cat, always following luke around the apartment. he was smitten with the animal, constantly sneaking him treats and lifting him into bed when you weren't looking.

"he's going to get hair all over the fresh sheets, luke," you warned him, slipping into pyjamas. but it was too late, arrax was snuggled up beside his neck, the duvet pulled over them both. your two boys were impossible to say no to.

he’s an expert date planner

`'close your eyes." you didn't need to, considering luke had both hands covering your face and stopping you from seeing anything at all. you could feel him grinning with excitement, guiding your unsteady feet along the path.

a small gasp escaped you as your vision returned. the gardens of his mother's estate, dragonstone manor, had been transformed by candles and fairy lights. in the grass was a blanket and cushions, accompanied by a basket overflowing with food and a bottle of champagne. the stars up above shone down on the scene, a soft song playing nearby.

"oh, luke..." you murmured in wonder, turning back to him with wide eyes. "this is beautiful. what's the occasion?"

he shook his head, taking your hand. "no occasion. just wanted to have a nice night."

"we could have done that at home on the sofa," you giggled, following his lead over to the blanket.

"shush, you deserve the best. quick or the ice cream will melt."

he can cook really well

the smell hits you at the top of the stairs, before you even unlock the front door. the entire apartment swells with the homely scent of rosemary and garlic, luke's quiet humming leading you into the kitchen.

"what-cha doin'?" you sing softly, wrapping your arms around him from behind.

"making dinner," he matches your tone, smiling. turning in your hold, he carefully balances a wooden spoon towards your lips, the other hand acting as a safety net underneath. "try."

your lips part, letting him slip the spoon onto your tongue. the flavours burst in your mouth, unable to stop the soft moan that leaves you.

"holy shit," you murmur, peering over his shoulder to the pan. "it tastes like heaven."

luke smiles proudly -- no, cockily, his talents assured once again. rolling your eyes playfully, you pinch his side and roll up your sleeves, quickly delegated to vegetable chopping.

clingy bf!!

you've been awake for at least an hour now, basking in the weekend rest and the warm arms of your boyfriend. he's still fast asleep, snoring on your shoulder. you were perfectly comfortable, but the urge to pee had come on in the last five or so minutes.

as quietly and gently as you can, you slip slowly out of luke's grip and towards the edge of the mattress. you're almost there, having not disturbed him, but then he stirs. his grip on your waist tightens and quickly pulls you back into his side, never opening an eye.

"luke, i gotta pee," you whisper through a smile, but you don't dare fight his grasp.

"no," he groans, hugging you tighter and burying his morning curls in the crook of your neck. "stay. you're warm."

you giggle, head turning to press a quick kiss to his temple. "m'gonna pee all over you if you don't let me go. i'll be two minutes, max."

"fine." he groans again, reluctantly lets his hold on you loosen, letting you slip out from the duvet and onto the cold ground. "but be quick, i'm counting."

[addthespaghetti]

French Toast

please ignore my bad jokes.

warnings: drinking, fluff, harassment, and sexual humor

1300+ words

You wake up tired from the night before, and as you attempt to roll over to stretch out, your girlfriend pulls you toward her. You smile at this gesture; Emily's love language has always been physical touch. Whether its cuddling with you on the couch after a hard case or even just holding your hand under the table at dinners with her team. She always makes it a point to be touching you in some way.

She has been like this since you met; it was a long day at work, and all you wanted to do was to drink away your problems for the day, alone, at your favorite bar. Of course, a man had to ruin you by asking to buy you a drink, but you politely turn him down. Then, he refused to take no for an answer. He kept trying to buy you drinks, and when you kept turning down his offers, he got aggressive over it.

That's when she came to your rescue by flashing her FBI badge at the man so he would stop bothering you. When he finally decided to back off because he was scared of getting arrested, you insisted on buying her a drink to thank her, but one drink became two, and two drinks' quickly became four, and while you don't usually hook up with strangers. Emily was the exception because she immediately captivated you, giving you butterflies by only touching you slightly.

It was no surprise when you woke up naked that morning in a strange bed with her arm wrapped around you and a random cat purring by your head.

Now, after almost one year of being together, you are in the same position, minus Sergio, who is most definitely getting into something he shouldn't like he always does.

As much as you would love to lay in bed with Emily all day, you really need to pee, and if you wait to feed Sergio any longer, he will start breaking things. So you reluctantly try to quickly and quietly sneak out of Emily's arms without waking her up, but of course, why would the world be on your side and Emily ends up waking up anyway.

"Baby, go back to sleep." You say quietly, knowing she just came home from a hard case and needed more time to rest.

"Don't leave me, please?" Emily spoke in her raspy morning voice that has you folding every time you hear it. The only reason you didn't give in and lay back in bed the second that came out of her mouth was the growing need to pee, and you did not need another broken flower pot from an annoyed Sergio.

You grab Emily's face lightly and give her a soft kiss. After you break apart, you whisper against against her lips, "I need to feed Sergio, if he doesn't get food, you will be cleaning up dirt from the carpet."

Emily groans, but she knows you're right. "Fine," she says, pouting against your lips.

You roll your eyes' playfully, taking your hand off her face and grabbing a shirt off the ground. While pulling the shirt over your head, you walk to the bathroom to pee and brush your teeth.

After finishing up, you exit the bathroom and look at your sleeping girlfriend. Emily has always been effortlessly beautiful, and honestly, you are a little jealous of how good her hair looks after a whole night of sleep.

You get brought back to reality by a screeching cat after zoning out thinking about Emily. Bending over, you pick up Sergio so he would stop meowing. You whisper to him while leaving the room, "Hush, you wake her up, and I will withhold your treats."

Sergio meows back, and you laugh. You know he can't understand you, but it is still amusing when he meows back like he is answering you.

After putting him down, you go to the cabinet and

grab his food. Emily always gets him the good, expensive stuff. It's kinda funny because he eats better than you half the time. While putting the food in his bowl, you realize how hungry you are after forgetting to eat dinner last night, and for the first time ever, you are happy your fucked up mother forced you to learn how to cook so you could "please a man."

Going over to Emily's fridge, you open it and laugh. It was so empty you were surprised you didn't see a tumbleweed roll across one of the shelves. Luckily, she had some eggs and milk, so you grabbed them from the fridge. Remembering she also has bread in her cabinet, you go grab that too, deciding to make French Toast.

After getting everything ready, you turn on the stove to let it heat up for a second.

While waiting for it to heat up, you zone out and think about your life. You grew up in such a fucked up household, having your mother teach you that a woman should stay in the kitchen and that woman's only purpose is to take care of her husband. However, because you were smart, you secretly applied to college and got accepted. You cut off your parents as soon as you got to college. After escaping your parents, you spent years unlearning this way of thinking and started dating women. Then you found Emily, and you learned what true love and happiness is.

You snap back to reality to a pair of arms hugging you from behind and Emily's head lying on your shoulder. You smile and start cooking the French Toast. While you cooked the French Toast, Emily did not make one indication that she was going to move, and she didn't. She stood there hugging you from behind for the entire time you cooked.

When you finished cooking the French Toast, you turned off the stove and moved the pan to a different burner. Not being able to move because Emily is holding on to you like you will disappear if she lets go, you decide to say something so the food doesn't get cold, "Em, baby, you need to move so we can eat before the French Toast gets cold."

Emily groaned but let go of you, and then she grabbed plates from the cabinet and handed them to you. You took the French Toast out of the pan and plated it. After Grabbing them, you walk to the table with Emily behind you with forks. You spoke, deciding to poke fun at Emily for her lack of food, "Sorry for the lack of syrup or powdered sugar, but you had so little food you would think it was the 1940s, and we still used ration cards."

After Emily tried and failed to suppress her grin, she decided to take a bite out of her food so you couldn't see her smile at your joke.

"I see you smiling," you say, smiling at her.

"Just shut up and eat your French Toast," Emily says unseriously.

"Or what," you say just to get a reaction from her.

Since you sat right next to Emily, she grabbed your face and brought it closer to her. She whispered right by your ear, "I'll fuck you so hard you will feel it all week." Then she let go of your face and started eating her French Toast like nothing happened.

You sit there with your jaw dropped. No matter how often she does that, it always renders you speechless. While you sit shocked, she brings her fork to your mouth and feeds you the French Toast. You and Emily start dying of laughter after this. You laugh so hard it brings tears to your eyes.

When you finish laughing, you notice Emily staring at you, "What?" You ask confused.

"I love you," she says.

"I love you too."

[val-made-a-mistake]

i was bored and i thought about something i haven't done in a while - putting whatever fanfiction of mine that was popular at the time into google translate several times over, and seeing what nonsensical bullshit comes out.

i tried this with pushing the limits, and this version has a random foot fetish that ABSOLUTELY was not there in the original version, a beautiful cat named november, eddie getting beaten (???) and copious amounts of poison. i don’t know how we got here. i’m dying laughing. here you go.

-

You are a very picky woman.

You tried to hide your fear when Eddie pecked your cheek again. He knelt down and looked at her as she knelt down and turned her face to him. WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION. Some are soft, some are rough. This includes pulling your hair until it hurts, spitting in your mouth, or putting a condom in your mouth when it's too dry to handle. I feel so good when I wear it, to receive all with hope.

It's been a while since we've heard from Venom, but Eddie's still having fun.

"Good boy," Eddie sighed and popped the cock's head back into his mouth. You wet him, your length wet with saliva, but it still stuck. There are eyes on his face.

When he saw you, he almost stopped breathing. "Oh, that's too bad…"

You replied that it worked for you to take his entire length in your mouth until the tip of his cock touched your saliva and waited for you.

You wanted to stay there but suddenly Eddie's hand grabbed your hair and pulled you back. Of course, he didn't expect this.

"Calm down, my love." I said. “You know, it's not every day that women beat me."

We sat on the bed, he stuck out his tongue and smiled at her. "I'm sorry."

Poison rang in my head.

a cat.

No, you're not crazy. That's what Eddie was trying to tell you when he stuck his cock in your mouth to stop your orgasm. Think: "Because it sounds good…"

His plan was to nurse until he came. He thought and continued with his tongue sticking out as he brought your lips to his. The metal was thick, he stroked his tongue slowly until it swelled. The best part is when his hands hold your hair and make sure you use it exactly as he wants.

This time Venom's voice sounded in Eddie's ears.

You look very good, Eddie.

It was surprising when Eddie decided to continue. At some point he let go of you and grabbed your leg to show that he wanted to go with him.

His voice was low and almost sweet, comforting you. Get up, go.

You take a deep breath, your heart racing without brushing your hair, you get off his lap and roll onto the bed to follow his instructions.

"Shit." Eddie nodded before handing it to you. Give it to me, honey.

She smiled sheepishly, buried her face in the pillow, and lifted her tight ass into the air.

“Shit,” you breathed, rubbing the grease with your palm. oh yes He knew you were running out and shame made you blush. "Do you always pee when you put a duck in your mouth?"

"You're the only one." She cried a little and hit him again.

"Is it just me?" Eddie shot back with a sneer lighting up his face. "November? Does this mean my beautiful cat is laughing at me?"

You opened your mouth to answer but this time he was stroking your calf and you were tired.

"Shit." He buried his face in the pillow and sighed. It felt like the Poison was pouring over you every time you were with him, you weren't sure if your wet chick could handle it but God you never gave in to the temptation.

I believe Venom suffered as well but never showed it.

Sell ​​it, Eddie. You want to shoot him.

Place your head on a pillow and spread your legs apart to expose as much of your vagina as possible. Eddie smiled admiringly at Venom.

“Take it easy,” he smiled, gently wrapping his arms around your wet calf, stimulating his tender nerves. "Dog, I say, Jesus…"

He leaned down to lightly kiss your wet feet. Touching the packaging will make your mind go crazy. This wide hole will undoubtedly be fruitful. You'll feel the fat rolling down your inner thighs, and unless you turn your mind off, you'll end up seeing Eddie from Venom behind you. you are cursed

I sighed patiently, hugged the pillow and waited patiently.

The poison fell on his head.

When did Eddie arrive?

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: THIS IDEA JUST SPARKED HOLY SHIT?? OK have you ever watched Hot Ones with Sean Evens (first we feast is the youtube channel) so basically that but Steve is the one being interviewed but he LOVES spicy food??(watch the episode with Florence Pugh i LOVE it but basically I want it to be kinda like that) just yeah that. Jxjxnxnx please and thank you

MY LOVE ❤️ I admit, most of what I watch of really anything is either highlights on Tik Tok or short clips my friends send me because I am out of touch with the cool kids. But Hot Ones is SO GOOD. The Lewis Capaldi episode (I do love him anyways) had me actually almost pee my pants laughing. I hope you love this fun (short, sorry) thing for this! - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------

“I just don’t know why you got Hot Ones. They could have had the whole band on there making idiots of themselves,” Eddie pouted.

He’d been pouting for two days now.

In fact, his entire band was from the moment Steve called him on tour to let him know that he would be doing the Hot Ones interview next week.

“I told you, they had a last minute cancellation and my schedule just worked. Maybe you’ll get next season,” Steve said over the phone as the oven timer went off to let him know his brownies were done cooking.

“Whatcha makin’ Stevie?” Eddie’s curiosity was adorable.

He was in London, just got off stage from their last show in Europe. Steve was in their home in LA, having the last lazy day in before his awards season started.

“If I tell you, you’ll be sad you’re missing it.”

“Tell us! Tell us!” Gareth said from much closer than Steve would have expected.

“Hi Gare Bear. No personal space tonight?”

Eddie laughed as Steve pulled the brownies out of the oven and shut it off.

“He said personal space is for people who don’t like each other and he likes me very much,” Steve could hear Eddie’s eye roll in his voice. “A shame because I can’t stand him.”

“Play nice boys. You’ll be home in less than 24 hours,” Steve reminded them.

Gareth lived a mile up the road from them with his boyfriend and their excessive amount of cats.

Excessive being four.

Steve was allergic, so any amount of cats seemed excessive to him.

But Steve and Gareth were close, had been since even before Eddie and Steve started dating.

He was Steve’s best man in their wedding, much to Dustin’s bafflement. He only didn’t argue because Eddie softened the blow by asking him to be his own best man.

Usually if baked goods or a home cooked meal were involved, Gareth would show up at their door ready to partake.

“You’ll be home when I get there?”

“Yep. Cleared my whole day just for you, baby.”

“Good. Miss you.

“Miss you too. You heading to bed?” Steve poked at the brownies, making sure they were cooked.

“Yeah, I’m beat.” Eddie yawned to emphasize how exhausted he was. “Did your manager tell them you love spicy foods or are you just gonna let them assume you’re a wimp?”

“Nah. It’ll be fun.”

—-------------------

When he arrives on the set of Hot Ones, Sean greets him with a smile and a handshake.

Eddie wasn’t able to come with him, but Robin had promised to record the whole thing just for them.

She watched from the side next to his manager, Nancy, and his bodyguard, Hopper.

They settled at the table, got mic’d up, makeup touched up, and Sean reminded him that if he absolutely had to tap out, they could stop recording and edit everything accordingly to make it look like he made it through the challenge.

Steve wasn’t worried.

The first three wings didn’t even have a kick. It was just a casual conversation between friends.

He talked about his work with a theater group for kids in New York City, as well as his work on an indie film that was coming out in the fall.

The fourth and fifth wings had a pinch of spice to them, but nothing to make even bat an eye.

Sean continued asking questions, Steve continued answering them.

On the seventh wing, Steve was barely distracted from the question: “What project of yours are you most looking forward to doing next?”

“I think I’ll be most excited to take some time off with my husband, working on starting the family we’ve wanted for a while. He’s been on tour for most of the last year, and we agreed it was a good time to figure out what we wanna do,” Steve said as he took another bite.

He could feel the burn of this one at least, felt the sting on his lips and tongue.

But it was very manageable, and the jalapeno flavor was almost refreshing. It tasted fresh.

“Okay, I have to ask: did you practice these beforehand?”

Steve snorted.

“No. I’m just not very sensitive to spicy foods. I usually keep a lot of hot sauces in my house. Poor Eddie’s learned how to tolerate spice because of it,” Steve said as they brought out the eighth wing.

“I’ve never had anyone so calm at this point. I’m starting to think even the hottest one won’t really bother you!”

“I guess we’ll see!”

The ninth wing was hot. He wouldn’t try to deny it.

“It does have a lovely watermelon flavor to it, very fruity and tangy on top of the spice. I like it,” Steve smiled.

He knew his face was getting a bit red from this one, and he reached for the water, but only had to take a couple of small sips before he was ready to keep going.

“Alright, for this one, we’ll ask a question for you to answer before and then we’ll have one for right after. You ready?”

“Bring it on!”

And it definitely did.

It was hot, and he could feel tears in his eyes, and sweat breaking out across his forehead.

“Finally, we have a reaction!” Sean exclaimed.

“This one’s definitely a lot more than the others,” Steve added, reaching for the milk.

He could tell Robin and Nancy were laughing, probably very much enjoying any amount of pain he managed to have when he went into this so sure that none of them would get to him.

“Final question: Would you ever consider retiring to follow Eddie on tour with your future family?”

Steve nodded once, taking another sip of the milk.

God, this one was hot.

“Uh, yep. I mean, retiring is a strong word. I would definitely take a long break. I’ve always wanted a family,” he stopped to take another sip and a bite of the celery. “I’ve wanted to be a dad for as long as I can remember. And I know Eddie wants that, but he also doesn’t wanna stop making music, and the rest of his band isn’t ready to take a break like that. I know it would be easy for me, so my plan would be to take at least a few years off.”

“Doing alright over there?”

Steve laughed, fanning his face.

“I’m okay. That just went from a kick to a beatdown pretty quick.”

“Well, you’re a pro at making it look easy. You deserve an Oscar for this performance!”

It was a ridiculous sentiment, but funny, and Steve was up for an Oscar this year.

He finished the glass of milk and shook Sean’s hand, thanking him for having him.

“Eddie is already in tears watching Sean watch you in disbelief,” Robin started as soon as he joined them again.

“What was all that at the end?” Nancy asked, arms crossed, face furious.

He usually had free reign in interviews, but he knew Nancy would tell him not to mention anything even slightly related to retirement.

His career had really only just taken off a couple years earlier, and talking about a break or retiring now would immediately cut his chances of good roles in half.

“Just the truth, Nance. You know Eddie and I wanna start a family,” he said as they started walking through the backstage area to leave.

“I just didn’t know that meant taking a break. I thought you’d just take turns with stuff or hire a nanny.”

Steve knew that worked for a lot of couples, but they both were too family-focused for that. They didn’t want a nanny raising their kids.

“Why are you freaking out?”

“I’m not! I just would’ve liked a heads up.”

Robin stared between them, eyes bouncing back and forth like it was a tennis match.

“I don’t have to tell you every single detail of my life. You know all that’s relevant right now.”

Nancy sighed, but nodded, turning away and typing furiously on her phone.

His phone rang seconds later.

“Sweetheart, let me just say: it is so sexy how you handle those hot sauces,” Eddie’s teasing voice was enough to get him back into a happy mood.

“Your standards for sexy are so low,” Steve said as he walked to the corner to get as much privacy as possible.

“No, it’s just that everything you do is sexy.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But I’m yours.”

“And I’m yours.”

“Steve!” Sean’s voice came from behind him, large smile lighting up his face. “Sorry to bother you, but would Eddie and the guys like to come on the show as our bonus episode this season?”

Eddie was screaming yes through the phone, much to their amusement.

“So…yes?” Sean asked.

“Yes!” Eddie yelled.

Sean walked away to update the producer while Steve kept talking to Eddie.

“See? Now you’ll get your show, too.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

[peaches-creek]

You were typing away at your computer, just as you have been for hours. Being blessed with the freedom of education, doesn’t make it any less of a curse. Here you were spending half of your life’s savings so that one day you could earn it back. Finals week was exactly 9 days, 2 hours, 17 minutes and 45 seconds away. With what felt like no time to spare you were cramming as much knowledge into your brain as you could. You are a smart person, you know it, but with the way you are struggling, it feels otherwise tonight. Sometimes things just get too heavy. You are under a ton of pressure at work, your friends are pressuring you to hang out when you have no time for yourself, you need to get groceries, check the mail. Etc. but there’s only so many minutes left in the day and you need to put those minutes into your studies.

Amidst your circling chains of thought about all of the things that you need to do, should be doing, and are doing, John enters your office. He takes in your form, headphones on and hunched over your books and laptop, messy hair, dead tired eyes. It makes his heart ache. A person he admires for her hard work, looks so worn out and god, do you look tired. He wonders how long it’s been since you had a good sleep. You need it clearly. He wishes he wasn’t so caught up with, maybe then he would’ve noticed you were struggling, but there’s not time for him to feel guilty, he has to help his girl.

He walks over, softly takes off your headphones, and swivels your chair to face him.

“Hi darling.” He flashes you with that wholesome smile that’s always on his dopey face. He brings a hand up to gently wrap around your neck, beckoning you forward to trap you in his warm embrace.

“Missed you.” You say, though it’s muffled against his shirt.

“What are you working on.”

“A bunch of stuff.”

“I can see that,” he chuckles.

“I know you can see that, now that you know I can get back to the endless amount of information that needs to take home into my brain.” you attempt to turn your chair back around, but his hands stop the chair from moving.

“John-“ you start.

“Don’t wanna hear it, you’ve been up to this for days, time for a break.”

“I don’t have time to take a break.”

“You absolutely have time to take a break. So you are taking one now. And I am going to tuck you into bed, a bed that you get to sleep in with your husband who loves you very much.” He justifies.

John has the habit of usually being right, he usually reminds you after the fact. He also knows that you hate being wrong, and you absolutely hate when people know you are wrong, which is why you are studying so damn hard.

“I appreciate it John but I really can’t tonight y’know, I have to-“

“You have to sleep.” He says.

“I can do that later.”

“Why not know.”

“John you are actually pissing me off.” You would’ve found this whole thing adorable if you weren’t already so frustrated.

“Don’t care,” He says as he tips you forward, essentially throwing you over his shoulder, “you’re going to bed.”

He begins to walk toward your bedroom passing the halls littered with pictures of the two of you and your beloved cat, Lady. When he reaches the entrance of the room, you reach up and grab onto the door, not letting go. This causes John to nearly drop you, nearly.

“Oh my god, that’s it you little shit!” He drops you onto the bed and proceeds to tickle you. Running his fingers over your ribcage over and over again.

“John sto-“ you choke out, “John I’m gonna pee fucking sto-“ you interrupt yourself with your laughter.

Eventually when he decides you’ve had enough, and that you’ve tuckered yourself out, he stops. He then hovers above your body and stares into your eyes.

“You know some people find that creepy.”

“Not you.” He grins.

“Yeah, not me.”

He gives you a sweet kiss to the lips, and then to the both of your cheeks, then your nose, lastly your forehead. He gets off of you and the bed heading to your side. He pulls back the covers and gently grabs your body and tucks you, just like he said. Once you are situated, he gets up and walks to the light switch and flicks it off. In the darkness, he makes his way back to you. He tucks himself in right behind you, spooning you.

“Goodnight, My Darling.” He says. But he doesn’t expect an answer, you are already half asleep.

“G’night John.” He gets one anyways.

[notstilinski]

Book Lovers Starters !

Taken from the 2022 novel by Emily Henry, Book Lovers! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit!

“Is she a baker? The woman you’re leaving me for.”

“What went wrong is that, in a past life, I betrayed a very powerful witch, and that put a curse on my love life.”

“All I need from them is a full credit report, psych evaluation, and a blood oath.”

“Oh my god, what is that? Are you planning a bank robbery?”

“FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE FEELINGS.”

“I could tie a bedsheet around your ankle and drag you up.”

“I’m a grown adult, (Name). I can buy my own Bigfoot erotica, thank you very much.”

“You are in control. You won’t let anything bad happen to them ever again.”

“I wouldn’t call it bloodlust. I don’t revel in exsanguination. I do it for my clients.”

“(Name) is here. Everything must be okay.”

“You really are sickeningly good at everything, you know that, right?”

“If you offer to lend me your Crocs again, I’m going to sue you for emotional damages.”

“To be known isn’t necessarily to be admired.”

“If I knew the answer to that, (Name), I’d have ascended to a higher plane.”

“Yeah, well, you should try almost marrying then and see if that helps.”

“If you’re into cat pee and gasoline.”

“I’m going to be up all night making diagrams and charts, trying to figure out what you just said.”

“You are much weirder than I thought.”

“Do they eat outsiders?”

“Can it really be called fanfiction if the author clearly isn’t a fan?”

“I can tell you’re pleased with yourself when your eyes go all predatory like that.”

“(Name) will listen to you. You could sell snake oil to a snake oil salesman.”

“The ship of their disappointment in me set sail a long time ago. I’d have to do something WAY sluttier to let them down now.”

“Right. There will make it easier to knock them out and empty his pockets. What should our signal be?”

“If you’re looking for your dignity, you won’t find it here.”

“Does that mean you want to date my bullies, or to humiliate them?”

“And that’s how they discovered your passion for serial killing.”

“So I’ve found the key to (Name)’s joy. My sexual humiliation.”

“Is it possible you don’t have any pain receptors?”

“You’re right. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to accept this can’t be anything.”

“Next time try not to look so excited at the thought of misery. It’ll help you blend in better.”

“Yes, together we add up to one emotionally competent human, a real accomplishment.”

“I would be adorable in Daisy Dukes and pigtails.”

“What do you think the age gap is between these actors? Sixty-eight years?”

“There are far worse things to be. Normal is a badge I wear proudly.”

“And by you’ve seen me, you mean you’ve watched me.”

“You’re not a disappointment. You’re not wrong.”

“I’ll remember you begging until my last dying breath.”

“You fucking undo me.”

“I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want it to stop.”

“You look like you haven’t slept in years.”

“You’re not useless, (Name). I mean, look at all this.”

“If we stay together, every single day for the rest of our lives is going to be the same.”

“I once had a sex dream about the green M&M.”

“If (Name) had known how hot the reverend is, they probably would’ve made it down here sooner.”

“If I had to pick one person to be in my corner, it’d be you. Every time. You take care of shit.”

“I wanted to help. I wanted to take care of you.”

“See? I’m perfectly harmless over here.”

“Yes, you have lost something but maybe, someday, you’ll find something too.”

“What about what you want? Who’s making sure you’re happy, (Name)?”

“You do have me, (Name). I never stood a chance.”

“I had no idea it was possible for you to want me as much as I want you.”

“(Name). You shouldn’t have to be alone through that.”

“It’s just… Ever since then, it’s been hard to imagine letting anyone close like that. Not when I’m so fucking broken I can’t sleep anywhere but my own bed.”

“Don’t be sorry. Please don’t apologize for letting me know you.”

“For what it’s worth, I doubt I will ever like anyone else in the world as much as I like you.”

“Sometimes the first act is the fun part, and then everything gets too complicated.”

“A week ago I liked you so much I would have wanted to try to make this work. But now I think I might love you too much for that.”

“If anyone could be enough, I think it might be you.”

[silkclan]

Silkclans Starclan guide…

Maplepaw he/they

Careful

Constantly climbing

10 moons in life and 180 in death

TW: Animal/Child death and some tough real world pet problems

Maplepaw is an ancestor to Cinnamonstar, which is why he sticks so close to Silkclans territory.

Constantly worrying for Silkclans safety, when Tornshadow was alive they would constantly send visions or be just out of view in the background. Which often made her really angry.

In life Maplepaw would say he was happy, though that’s not clear when it’s been so long sense he lived. Maplepaw was born in a small cramped apartment of a cat breeder. Due to this he wasn’t as lucky as some of his siblings and had a lot of bad health conditions. Maplepaw never knew his parents well, and was taken from his siblings at a young age. Maplepaw was bought by a twoleg, where he was put inside a monster, traveling many miles. Suddenly he went from one apartment to the next. This twoleg den was much less cramped then the last, no cages lined the walls. Compared to his old home this new den was great, even when his twoleg left the house for a few days. Him and this twolegs deal seemed to be merely coexisting after the initial excitement and joys of having a new kitten. His twoleg would always coo at him for doing hardly anything, when it stopped they kind of missed it..But it was okay.

Days grew so tiring, his body ached for rest most the time and he wasn’t sleeping he was drinking or peeing on the floor. His twoleg would always yowl with disappointment but these days he couldn’t find much energy to feel any strong emotion about it. The twoleg seemed melancholy as they put him into the small box, it had bars on the front, he didn’t want to be in a cage again. He felt himself be lifted like he was on air. The box bumped and shook, vibrating with every moment he was inside. Maybe they were in a monster? Maybe.

A new apartment and then a new cold cage, I guess he was destined to feel the ache of his bones against the hard floor below him. It was so bright and loud, he wished to tuck themselves away into a soft nest of sleep. But how could he?

“Hey champ first time to the Cutter?” Oh, there were other cats here. He didn’t know how they didn’t notice those smells. “Is this..?” He weakly mewed. “Hahaha…yup, and if I were to guess they’re probably gonna poke and prod ya a bit.” what sounded like an older she-cat hoarsely chuckled. “Oh.. I hope not, I don’t think I’m up for that…” he trailed off. “I don’t think I’m up for much either champ.” The she-cat said more dejected this time. They sat in that silence of each other’s presence for so long yet so brief, though a metal wall divided them he felt as comforted as they would be sitting side by side. “You know my favorite thing about this weird life?” She said “The stars.” He could almost imagine the far off look in her eyes. “Stars…I’ve never seen those before.” “Well that just ain’t right.” She said almost like she’s was disappointed at some outside force.”They shine like the sun dappled on the rivers bed, atop a spanning blanket of night, far as your paws can take ya..” he had never seen a river either, he would like to see one. “If I were to drop dead tomorrow the last thing I’d want to see are those beautiful stars, that would be livi’n” she finished. “I’d like that to..”

After awhile the she-cat’s presence was gone.The silence wasn’t so lovely anymore.

I think..maybe he knew he was gonna die, as that single needle pricked the back of his scruff, the bright lights and noises fading. All fading into a dark night, He could see those beautiful stars, carry him away.

[onlypaws]

Every time a dog person explains why he likes dogs over cats, he just explains a cat.

Seriously though, if you ask a person why they like a dog they always explain things dogs don't like or don't do but cats do naturally.

"I want a animal that snuggles and loves me!"

If my cat does not get his nightly snuggle he dies inside. If he's not around you 24/7 he just hides under the bed. All the cats I grew up with thrived off of pets and love and the one who didn't was a weirdo barn cat who absolutely did but just wanted to be pet in places where he didn't have scars/ trauma from his past life.

You look at dogs and even the most friendly ones don't like being fawned over. They don't like their heads pet (cats love that, that's how they spread their scent). They don't like being hugged (cats live for that). They don't like being manhandled (cats love being held upside down and dangled and messed with ((gently of course))).

Like every time they bring this up they will mention their dog and it is whale eyeing, panting, appeasement smiling and visibly very very uncomfortable.

"I don't want a animal that pees everywhere."

Literally clean their cat boxes daily and it stops. If you can't or your cat is like Taz and demands an every 12-hour schedule, affirm pay an automatic catbox like I did. Problem disappears. I would also like to point out, if you aren't at your dog's beck and call to let them out, they pee and poo everywhere! I had many dogs over my life and like it was the single most problematic part of them (Aside from the eating the drywall). You had to let them out CONSTANTLY or there was a biohazard in the foyer.

"I want an animal that won't eat me when I am dead."

Neither will eat you unless you are dead for days and they are starving, and statistically speaking, your dog is much more likely to eat you than your cat. Have you ever seen a cat after someone they love dies? They nearly go cationic, they are far more likely to starve to death trying to wake you up, but also lets be real, if you are dying alone and going unnoticed to the point that you're eaten... baby in the nicest way possible you probably shouldn't have pets. You have bigger problems.

"I want an animal I can do anything to without being bit"

Then get a fish. You can't "do anything to your dog without being bit". Often people train the vocal warning signs out of dogs while refusing to learn any sort of doggish body language. You CAN'T do anything to your dog, you may not have been bit yet, but you will be if you have this mentality. This is the reason why so many small breed dogs bite and are violent, not because they are by nature, but because a considerable amount of dog owners think they can and should do whatever they like without repercussions and it is easier to ignore and belittle a animal when it is small.

But also if you're looking at tolerance to bullshit cats are where it's at. My cats have their claws, and they don't like being picked up, none the less if I decide to annoy them and pick them up and give them belly kisses and shove my face in theirs they just fix me with a resigned "god you're stupid" look. If I did that to my non-traumatized dog he would lose his mind. If I did it to my rescue, I'd lose my nose, and it would be completely on me.

Tolerance for handling depends on size, breed, animal, temperament, and treatment and I hate to break it to you, dogs have a significantly lower tolerance for it than cats. A lot of you abuse your dogs through your negligence to learn their behaviour. Literally just watch "It's me or the dog" and 99% of the time it's "leave him alone, stop stressing him tf out, you don't need your whole body on him all the waking day."

"I want an animal I can train"

You clearly have never had a cat. They are incredibly smart and comparing training my cats to training my lab is night and day. Dude is 10 years old and still cycles through everything before he gets to "sit" (he does it on purpose looking for more treats.) You can train cats to do literally everything a dog can do. I mean I've never taken my cats hunting or anything but watch them with a mouse and I figure they'd do well. The thing is if you never try to do something, you can't say it's impossible. I've never tried meth, yet I'm sure it still exists.

I mean I could go on but it's every time they explain why they prefer dogs, it's just a cat in a different form.

[woodandwaxwings]

How You Remind Me

A/n: if you saw this earlier, no you didn't, my tumblr glitched out and posted this before I was done writing it.

"Y/n slammed the picture frame face down as his roommate, Ajax, entered. Ajax, he had to remind himself, Ajax not Victor. Ajax smiled and waved as he set his dirty clothes on his bed across the room. Another difference, Ajax smiled with his teeth, Victor never did that. As of late Y/n found himself focusing a lot on the differences in his life."

(prev) (Masterlist) (next)

Day 1 and he had already flipped out. Y/n was beginning to think coming here alone was a mistake, but it was a mistake that was too late to take back. After his flip-out, he decided to lock himself in his and Ajax's dorm bathroom, which he had ended up sleeping in. As a result, he had been awoken by Ajax banging on the bathroom door. "C'mon man get up and lemme in! I have to pee!" Y/n groaned as he reached above him to unlock the door and use the doorknob to pull himself up to open the door. "You look like shit," Ajax said as Y/n slid passed him, letting his roommate rush in to do what he needed.

"You look like shit." Y/n raised his head from his hands as he looked over to the tan boy who stood in the doorway of their room. "Not m' fault somebody couldn't sleep." He said about Victor's continuous bothering him over the night. He figured if he couldn't sleep why should Y/n. "Sorry Liebling(Sweetheart), seems like you could have used the beauty sleep." Victor laughed as Y/n threw his pillow at him.

"Hey, what was up with you yesterday?" The snake-haired boy spoke loudly through the door. Y/n walked over to his bed and sat down. "No offense, but none of your business." He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt his skin morph as one of his tattoos tried to push out of his skin. Ajax exited their shared bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth. Y/n was almost afraid to look at him. Still in a shell-shocked state from being trusted into war flashbacks he was almost afraid looking at him would cause him to break. He felt like glass as he sat on his bed and stared out the window in front of him as he willed himself not to cry. "That's fine." Ajax raised his hands up in defense before returning to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth. Y/n felt tears break down his face as the burning pain of his peculiarity fighting him persisted. "Close your eyes," Ajax shouted and Y/n rolled over on his stomach and buried his face into the comforter as Ajax reentered the dorm bedroom, most likely getting dressed.

Y/n felt the searing pain stop as a thump hit the hardwood floor and a loud grating purr followed. He then felt his bed shift and then a pressure on his back. "Vershwinde,"(clear off) Y/n grumbled into his bed at the creation as its purring got louder, ignoring his command to get off of him. He heard a chuckle beside him, "You have this much trouble controlling all of them?" Y/n swatted behind him so he could get up, even if the animal wasn't real its weight was. "No, fake or not a cat is a cat." Ajax let out a laugh again, "Ok. They're covered now, you can look." Y/n rolled over as the imaginary cat disappeared and reformed as its tattoo. A silence washed over the room as Y/n scanned the gorgon's side of the room. A silence that put pressure on that glass line, a silence Y/n didn't want to welcome just yet.

"Why Nevermore?" He asked and it was like a bucket of cold water as wide brown eyes met him as a stranger instead of a familiar figure in his world. "What do you mean?" Ajax asked, his head bobbing to the side like a curious dog. "Why'd you come to Nevermore instead of go to another school?" The gorgon's mouth opened into a small 'o' as he nodded. "My moms went here, so you could say it's a generational thing." Y/n nodded, turning his gaze to the window as though looking at his roommate any longer would burn him. "What about you? Why'd you come here?"

A hearty laugh filled Y/n and Victor's shared room as they climbed out the window. "No, seriously." Y/n paused to catch his breath before continuing. "What would you do if we left?" Victor licked his lips before pulling a nervous tight-lipped smile. "Go to school." He shook his head, his brown hair falling into his face as he shook his head. "I know it sounds stupid but Yuko goes to school, if a vampire can why can't we? I want to go to Nevermore and I want you there with me." Y/n's smile dropped as he looked up at the everchanging stars and thought about what his love was saying. "Yeah," A wide smile pulled onto his lips as he unknowingly looked at the love of his life for one of the last times. "I think I'd like that."

"A friend wanted to be here. I figured it must be a good school if he of all people wanted to come." Ajax nodded, seemingly oblivious to the melancholy behind the other boy's voice. "That's pretty cool. They must've been pretty great for you to take their word for it." Y/n nodded as he glanced at the picture frame and then his roommate. "Hey me and some of my friends are gonna go swimming in the lake, do you wanna come?" He stared and kind brown eyes stared back like a knife to the face. Did he want to go? No. Absolutely not, the open isn't safe, unknown waters with unknown people weren't safe. And he absolutely didn't want to be tortured with the kind face of a boy all too similar to the boy he once loved and lost. "No thanks," His answer felt outside of himself, it felt weak despite the regular tone of voice. "I want to take a shower." He pointed to the bathroom door like an idiot and Ajax nodded in understanding.

The two hit a wall of silence again, one more uncomfortable than the last as they sat and stared at each other. Ajax swallowed as he broke the staring contest, "Well, I'm gonna go." Y/n nodded as his doppelganger roommate got up with a beach towel and left. It couldn't have been more than a minute before Y/n decided not to play the sitting game and stare out the window. He grabbed his bag and pulled out the only set of sheets he brought the only set of sheets he owned, and got to making his bed. As he stood back he realized how little that did to bring comfort to the room, or at least his side. It almost looked sad, as was the flannel sheet set and nothing else, as if it was a fancy prison bed. Y/n sighed as he grasped onto the fact that he didn't actually care that much and grabbed a set of clothes to replace the ones he'd been wearing since the day before.

His shower was quick but hot and his green cable-knit polo sweater and flare jeans were a comfortable welcome change. Y/n lay in his bed and felt the minutes pass by rather than counting them. It was strange being outside of a loop after so long and being relieved from the stress of war. Of course, before time still passed but now it felt more final, as though turning back the clock was impossible even though it was. Every minute passing was a minute closer to dying and for some reason that was exciting, a normal life was exciting.

"I don't want to live forever." Y/n turned to face Victor as he laid in his bed across the room. "I want to grow old together, I want to live a life that matters outside of this island." Y/n sat up to meet his lovers gaze better, "What's wrong with loving each other forever? We'll never have to fear anything because here our love won't be killed by hate, we won't be killed." Victor shook his head, "It's not the same, once Miss Peregrine forms the loop our time will be stuck. Nothing is amazing about living the same life over and over every day." Y/n shifted to be sitting, "Ok, if you want to leave, I'm coming too."

He sat up from his bed and grabbed the picture on his bedside. The image itself was nothing special, one that Y/n had Horace take of him and Victor together. He stared at the face he had already drawn from memory in his heart. Forever wasn't something they had gotten all because of teenage ambition. Y/n slammed the picture frame face down as his roommate, Ajax, entered. Ajax, he had to remind himself, Ajax not Victor. Ajax smiled and waved as he set his dirty clothes on his bed across the room. Another difference, Ajax smiled with his teeth, Victor never did that. As of late Y/n found himself focusing a lot on the differences in his life. "I see you've made yourself comfortable." The gorgon said as he tightened the beach towel around his waist.

"Did you have fun?" Y/n caught himself off guard as he spoke. The gorgon nodded, "Yeah. But I smell like dead fish and salt so I'm going to take a shower." Y/n nodded in understanding as Ajax followed through a similar routine as his own. He almost felt bad letting his eyes trail across the uncannily familiar frame as Ajax grabbed clean clothes and walked into their shared bathroom. Surprisingly, Y/n found the gorgon to be more built than the boy he resembled, likely from actually having to build muscle to gain strength. One thing that remained true was the kindness he radiated. Y/n almost wanted to curse that fact, maybe if he wasn't so kind it would be easier to move on from the past. But Y/n knew that no matter how cruel or kind his roommate was, it was his face that left a lasting reminder of the past.

"Do your snakes ever talk to you?" Y/n found himself walking to the bathroom door and standing beside it. Despite everything in him searing into a pit of lava every time he looked at his roommate, he couldn't help but want a friend in this strange new town. Maybe he wanted to be close to the boy for the same reason just looking at him made Y/n want to throw himself off of a cliff. "Uh, yeah sometimes," Ajax answered through the door and the white noise the shower provided. "What's it like having snakes for hair?" Y/n asked as he wrapped himself in his own arms, even with the cable-knit a chill ran down his spine. "Well, I guess it's like having normal hair if normal hair talked to you and could turn people to stone." Y/n nodded despite the boy on the other side of the door not being able to see him.

"What's it like with your tattoo thing?" Ajax asked and Y/n smiled, "They're kinda just there. They don't do anything unless if I consciously or subconsciously tell them to do something. Kinda like a puppet." Y/n almost felt comfortable talking to him like this. It hurt less to not look at him and he hated that. He hated how he couldn't force himself to treat Ajax like anyone else all because of his face. He heard a hum through the door and the water shuts off. Y/n walks back to his side of the room as he held his back to the door, waiting for the ok that he wouldn't be turned to stone. He had to stop himself from turning around as he heard the hushed panicked curse from the bathroom. "Hey dude, can you do me a favor?" The door must've been cracked now because the gorgons voice was clearer than before. "What's up?" Y/n asked, tilting his head toward the door but never fully moving, feet remaining firmly planted in place.

"I dropped my beanie, can you hand me one?" Silence, then the dragging of bare feet on the hardwood floors as Y/n turned 90° to look at the checkered beanie a few feet perfectly centered between him and the door. He turned again to be facing the bathroom door then grabbed the beanie. His feet dragged on the wood like they were being weighed down Y/n stopped just before the door then reaches his hand holding the knit fabric out to the door. "Here," More silence, then the creaking of the bathroom door as Ajax pushed it open. Y/n didn't dare raise his eyes from his hand as he waited for his roommate to grab the beanie. He couldn't help it as his eyes drifted forward onto the bare torso in front of him. Bare, not a single freckle or scar in sight. Bare, as in lacking the large gaping hole where his doppelganger had been stabbed through the center of his chest by a hollowghast tongue.

In what was either a sliver of hope or delusion, possibly both, Y/n let his eyes move up to look at his roommate's face. As his eyes hit the other boy's jawline they were suddenly void of any view as Ajax slams one of his hands over the boy's eyes. "Dude, I could've turned you to stone." Instant regret hit him as Ajax voiced what would've happened if Y/n hadn't stopped in his actions. "Sorry," His voice came out in a mere whisper as he quickly turned his back to Ajax with a pivot of his heels. "I'm sorry," Y/n repeated, guilt of his selfish action burning like hellfire on his face.

"It's chill, just be more careful in the future, yeah?" Still with his back turned to the gorgon, Y/n nodded. "You're friends with Yoko, ja?" He asked as he walked back to his side of the room. "School is starting tomorrow and I need her to catch me up on some stuff, socially and educationally." Ajax cleared his throat making Y/n turn to face him. "Yeah, she dorms in Ophelia but you can probably find her in the courtyard." With a curt nod and an accidental slam of the door to their shared dorm Y/n left for the place Ajax said Y/n's only piece of the past would be. The chill in the air nipped at his skin as he practically raced to the courtyard, only slowing down when he spotted his target.

"Yoko," He called for her attention as he stopped a few paces away from the girl. Both the vampire and her siren girlfriend turned to face him. "Why didn't you warn me?" Y/n's voice was abrasive and accusatory as his sweater shielded him from the outside chill. "About?" Yoko's voice was calm, very much matching her appearance. "You know," Yoko sighed and quickly turned to fill in her confused girlfriend on the issue. The siren only giggled in amusement before interjecting herself into the situation. "Let's go into town for a bit. You can get stuff for your room while Yoko explains herself." The vampire and the peculiar nodded in agreement and set out to follow the siren's plan of action.

Throughout their adventure in the town Y.n came to understand why Yoko liked Divina so much, she reminded him of Claire. He had also learned more about her friend group overall. Kent was Divina's twin brother, and Bianca was also a siren and basically the leader of their friend group. There was Xavier, who he heard had similar powers to himself, and the root of his problem, Ajax. "You should've come to the lake earlier," Yoko states from the other side of the Booth in the coffee shop. "I didn't receive a very detailed invitation of who exactly Ajax's friends are." Yoko scoffs and returns to her drink.

Their rendezvous lasted until the mandated school curfew set in and they were required to return back to their retrospective dorms. Being dragged around by two girls explaining the modern age better than Jacob Portman was tiring and by the time Y/n had reached his dorm room, he was beginning to regret not passing out on the Poe statue. "Oh, you're back," Was all Ajax said when the door clicked shut quietly behind Y/n. "Yeah, Yoko and Divina dragged me all over town." Ajax nodded as Y/n walked to his side of the room to retrieve his pajamas. There was a silence between them as Y/n began to undress.

"Can I ask you a question and you not be weirded out by it?" Y/n paused from pulling his sweater off, goosebumps forming on his bare inked legs as he turned to face Ajax. "What's up?" The day had already worn on him but deciding to be nice, Y/n indulged his roommate. "What's that one?" Y/n looked down to where Ajax had pointed from his bed across the room. His eyes trailed along the inked scales that ran up his right leg and disappeared beneath his boxers. "It's a king cobra," Y/n said as he looked back at the gorgon who was already clad in his pajamas. "That's cool. Why?" Y/n let out a confused chuckle, "What?" Ajax shrugged, "Why a cobra?" He licked his lips as he thought about his roommate's question, or really how to answer it in a way to get the least amount of questions. "It's good to have a defense. And snakes are cool."

Ajax smiled, "How many do you have?" Y/n continued changing as he realized this conversation would not end soon. "Tattoos? A lot." "Do they have names?" Y/n finished changing and turned back to face his roommate. "Why would they have names?" Ajax shrugged, that goofy grin still pulled taught on his face. "Why not?" Y/n shrugged. "Can I name one?" Y/n's face burned hot at the gorgon's question. "Which one?" He asked as he sat on his bed across from his roommate's. "The snake," Ajax gave him a look that screamed 'no shit.' "I mean, if you want to." Y/n laid in his bed as a since enveloped them, the only light in the room Ajax's bedside lamp. Just as Y/n was about to fall asleep he heard Ajax speak, "Medusa." Y/n let out a sleepy scoff, "How original."

"Can I name one?" Y/n let out a hum as he looked up from his book to the boy across the room. "What?" Victor nodded to Y/n's inked legs, "Can I name one of your tattoos?" "Why would you do that?" He questioned, setting his book down. "Why not?"

[jellypawss]

Emergency Kitten Foster Tips

I’ve beaten the statistics with my foster newborn kittens and I’d thought I’d share advice on how I did it. However, I recommend always contacting a vet before doing anything listed.

do NOT give your kitten cold milk

do NOT feed your kitten while it’s cold

you need a kitten formula mix up until around 8 weeks of age (my kitten is slower than usual at learning how to eat solid/wet food as he is a runt and is 4 weeks old. You can try around 5 weeks but monitor them closely.)

do NOT squeeze the bottle when feeding kittens, this can cause them to aspirate the milk and it will kill them.

rice in a sock warmed up for 40 seconds and placed under a blanket in the kittens enclosure helps A LOT. I noticed my kitten LOVES the scent of jasmine rice, it might be a pheromone thing, versus white rice. He snuggles up to it and attempts nursing when he misses his momma.

Buy a fake heart beat box for kittens on amazon (they cost around 19.99) they definitely help the kitten calm down and feel safer in their enclosure. 

feed your kitten while standing up or on their belly, NEVER feed them with their heads tilted back/on their back.

Wash out their bottles REALLY well, they are very prone to illness.

Do not give them old milk, make them a new bottle each time.

Do not get water/milk in their nose or ears.

You can use a few granules of miralax if your kitten is constipated, please ask a veterinarian before use.

Create a routine as you will have to feed them every 2 hours for the first 4 weeks.

Do not overfeed your kitten, when they stop, you stop. You can try again later if they are not interested in the bottle.

Keep other animals away from the kitten for the first 4 weeks, unfortunately it was nearly impossible for me and my cats would pull him out of his bed almost every night so I had to make a spot in the bathtub for him.

Keep the kitten warm, NOT HOT, make sure the area the kitten is in is well ventilated and they have room to move away from the heat source if needed.

Stimulate your kitten to use the bathroom with a warm rag and circular motions, both pee and poop.

[originallandlockedmariner]

2023

Pickleball. Generative AI. Lula takes office in Brazil, Amazon Rainforest throws a party. Prince Harry refusing to stop talking about his frozen penis no matter how many times society begged him to stop. UFOs are real. Viral cat dubbed ‘largest cat anyone has ever seen’ gets adopted. Pee-Wee’s big adventure ends. Musk & X. Turkey-Syria earthquake kills thousands. India surpasses China as ‘country squeezing in the most peeps’. Tucker Carlson ousted. Miss USA and her 30 lbs moon costume. Wildfires in Kelowna and Hawaii. Macron tinkers with retirement age of the French. Paltrow can’t ski. Big Red Boots. Bob Barker leaves us. Alabama mom delivers 2 babies from her 2 uteruses in 2 days. Charles III. Ukrainian counteroffensive against Russian forces as the war drags on. Taylor Swift is Time’s Person of the Year. African ‘coup belt’. Flo-Jo dies in her sleep. Chinese spy balloon shot down. Hollywood writers strike. Human ‘nice mugshot’ Shitstain and his 91 indictments. Highest interest rates in 2 decades. The Bear’s Christmas episode. War in Gaza. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Alex Murdaugh. Ocean Cleanup removes 25 000 lbs of trash from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Vase purchased for $3.99 sells for $100 000 at auction. Barbenheimer. A third of Pakistan is flooded. Lionel Messi is the GOAT. Travis Kelce. The Sphere opens in Las Vegas. Regulators seized Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank, resulting in two of the three largest bank failures in U.S. history. “The Woman In Me”. WHO declares COVID ain’t a thing no more. Titan sub sinks, rich people die. Matthew Perry drowns. Dumbledore Dies (again). Massive sales of ‘Fuck Trudeau’ flags for jacked-up micro-dick trucks. Everything Everywhere All At Once. June-August was the hottest three-month period in recorded history across the Earth. Tina Turner dies. And the Beatles release a new song?! Wow… You got big shoes to fill 2024.

Archives for context:

2020

Kobe. Pandemic. Lockdown. Koalas on fire. Harry and Meg retire. Toilet paper hoarding. Alcoholism. Impeach the f*cker. Parasite. Bonnie Henry. Tiger King. Working from home. Sourdough bread. Harvey Weinstein guilty. Zoom overdose. Dip your body in sanitizer. 6 feet. Quarantine. OK Boomer. Home schooling (everyone passes). Murder hornets. Dolly Parton. Don’t hug, kiss or see anybody, especially your family. Chris Evans’ junk. TikTok. Glory holes. Face masks. CERB. West Coast wildfires. Stay home. Small Businesses lose, big box stores win. F*ck Bozos. ‘Dreams’ and cranberry juice. Close yoga studios, but thumbs up to your local gym. Speak moistly to me. George Floyd. BLM. F*ck Trump. Phase 2, 3 and Summer. RBG. Baby Yoda. Biden wins. Bond and Black Panther die. No more lockdown. Back to school and work. Just kidding... giddy up round 2. Giuliani leaks shit from his head. Resurgence of chess. UFOs are real. Restrictions. Dave Grohl admits defeat. Monolith. “F*ck... forgot my mask in the car”. No Christmas shenanigans allowed. Bubbles. Alex Trebek. Use the term ‘dumpster fire’ one too many times. Jupiter and Saturn form 'Christmas Star'. Happy New Year Bitches!!!! 2021... you better not sh*t the bed!!

2021

“We love you, you’re very special”. Failed coup attempt at the Capital. Twitter, FB and IG ban Donny. Hammerin’ Hank goes to the Field of Dreams. Bozo no longer richest man but still a twat. Leachman, Tyson, and Holbrook pass. The economy is worse than expected. Kim and Kanye split. Brood X cicadas. Dre has an aneurysm and nearly has his home broken into. Bridgerton. MyPillow CEO is a douche. Covid restrictions extended indefinitely. Captain Von Trapp dies. Proud Boys officially a Terrorist Organization. Richard Ramirez. Cancer takes Screech. Travel bans. Impeachment trial (again?… oh and this was barely February? WTF??!!) Suez Canal blockage. Myanmar protest. Kong dukes it out with Godzilla, while Raya watches. Olympics. Friends compare elective surgeries. F9. Canada Women’s Soccer Gold. Free Britney. Multiverses. Residential Schools in Canada unearth children’s bodies. Kate is Mare of Easttown. Cuomo resigns. Disney and Dwayne cruise together. Wildfires. Delta variants. Musk passes Bezos. Candyman x 5. Capt. Kirk goes to space. F*ck Kyle Rittenhouse. Astros didn’t win. Squid Game. Goodbye Bond. Dune is redone. Angelina is Eternal. Astroworld deaths. Meta. Omicron. Three Spidermen. Tornados in December? World Juniors cancelled. Pills against Covid. School opening delayed. And Betty White dies. 2022… my expectations are ridiculously low…

2022

Wow… eight billion people. Queen Elizabeth II passes away after ruling the Commonwealth before dirt was invented. The monkeypox. Russia plays the role of global a**hole. Wordle. Mother Nature rocks Afghanistan. Hover bike. Styles spits on Pine. Olivia Newton John, Kristie Alley, and Coolio leave us. Pele was traded to team Heaven. FTX implodes. Madonna and the 3-D model of her vagina. Pig gives his heart to a human. Beijing can brag that it is the first city ever to host both the Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics. Uvalde. $3 trillion Apple. Keith Raniere gets 120 years. The Whisky War ends with Canada and Denmark going halfsies. Mar-a-Lago. Nick Cannon brood hits a dozen. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Inflation goes through the roof (if you can actually afford to put a roof over your head). Volodymyr Zelensky. European heat wave. Bennifer. Salman Rushdie is stabbed on stage, Dave Chappelle tackled, and Chris Rock is only slapped. Thích Nhất Hạnh. Heidi Klum goes full slug. Cuba knocked out by Ian. Liz Truss and 4.1 Scaramuccis. Taylor Swift breaks Ticketmaster. Human shitstain Elon Musk ignores helping mankind and buys Twitter instead. Riri becomes a mommy. NASA launches Artemis 1. Trump still a whiny little b*tch. Music lost Loretta Lynn, Christine McVie, and Meat Loaf. Democracy died at least three times. Pete Davidson continues to date hottest women on the planet (no one understands how?!) Microplastics in our blood. Alex Jones is a c*nt. So is DeSantis. Argentina wins the World Cup. Meghan and Harry. Eddie Munson rips Metallica in the Upside Down. tWitch. Roe vs Wade is overturned by the micro dick energy of the Supreme Court. CODA. James Corden shows he is a "tiny Cretin of a man". Amber (and the sh*t on the bed) Heard (round the world). Sebastian Bear-McClard proves he’s one of the f*cking dumbest men alive. Latin America's ‘pink tide’. Anti-Semitic rants by Ye. Bob Saget. A verified blue checkmark. Godmother of punk Vivienne dies. And, Tom Cruise feels the need for speed yet again. 2023… whatcha got for us?!? Nothing shocks me anymore.

@daily-esprit-descalier