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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years ago

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The Island | KTH (Five)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 10.2k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) panic attack, miscommunication, fingering ( female receiving)

Notes: here’s ch5! Hope you guys like this chapter. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @monvieesdaebak @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope

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The silky robe is a deep burgundy and it looks divine draped over your skin…Taehyung watches as you stand between his spread legs and the silky material begins to slowly slip off your shoulders. He can’t help but gulp when the robe falls down your arms and your matching lingerie set is finally exposed. The material that covers your breasts is lace, he can see your hardening buds and he sighs out in satisfaction… the rest of the lingerie top is sheer and flowy. He only observes as the robe finally falls to the floor and you step closer to him, bending down giving him the most immaculate view of your cleavage…god, he can’t wait to have your tits in his large hands. He is a man of self-control though. He just wants to watch you for a while before he even touches you, which ultimately drives you crazy.

You finally begin to crawl into his lap, settling over his bulge. He leans away from you, his head hitting the cushion of the sofa when you continue to bend forward until your lips are on his neck. Taehyung smirks and releases breath after breath when he feels your tongue run up his throat.

“Taehyung…” you whisper, “Taehyung, what are you thinking about?”

“Taehyung what are you thinking about? Hello?”

“Taehyung? Earth to Tae?” You continue to wave your hand in front of his face. You both are sitting on the living room couch watching a Disney movie when Taehyung obviously stopped paying attention. The boy is completely zoned out.

“Tae?”

“Huh? What?” his eyes zone back in and he’s whipping his head in your direction. “What?”

“I asked what you were thinking about, you really zoned out there.” You giggle. Taehyung’s eyes skim over your body, you’re wearing a t shirt and some shorts…definitely not the lingerie set he was just imagining you in. Yet somehow you still look sexy and it’s driving him nuts.

“Oh nothing.” Taehyung grins, feeling himself grow warmer at the memory of his imagination.

“Movie night is boring you, huh?” you steal the blanket from Taehyung’s lap and wrap it around yourself. “We can play a game instead? Or maybe, hear me out, just maybe, you can show me that song you’ve been working on.” You eye him, waiting for his reaction.

“It’s not ready.” Taehyung pouts, “I promise I’ll show you when it’s ready. I’m just stuck.”

“Maybe I could help? You never know.”

“y/n…” he whines, “Just wait.” Then he’s scooting a little closer to you, “Patience isn’t really something you’re good at, huh?” he teases then his voice goes lower, “I’ll have to teach you.”

“Fine, fine. I can be patient.” You roll your eyes at him, you unwrap the blanket from yourself and put it out in front of you, offering to share with your roommate.

Taehyung accepts the invitation by inching closer to you and going under the blanket, his body heat sticking to your skin.

“Want to go for a walk?” Taehyung asks, snuggling further into the blanket.

“A walk? It’s so dark out?”

“I bet the moon looks nice over the ocean.” Taehyung points out softly, “I bet it feels nice and cool.”

“Hmm, okay.”

Taehyung was right, the moon looks absolutely hypnotizing over the water. You two are sat in the sand near the shore and you can feel the mist of cool water greet you as the waves come in. It feels amazing.

“Can you believe it’s been a little over 6 months?” you sigh, “Time is flying by.”

“You don’t sound as bitter as you usually would.” Taehyung playfully bumps his knee into yours. “You like my company that much?” he teases.

But you tense at his words…he isn’t that far off and you know that’s dangerous, almost as dangerous as him.

“I’m tired of being so bitter.” You admit, “Doesn’t mean I love this situation. I want to return to the real world…I have a lot of things to take care of. I can’t use the island as an excuse anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“My life is a mess, Tae. This island was like a break from that…I know that sounds crazy—”

“No, I get it.” Taehyung says softly. “I get it.”

“But can you believe we are still here? I mean, we flirt but I don’t know if it’s getting us anywhere.” You whisper. “And are they really taking us seriously?”

“What’s that mean?” Taehyung raises his brows, “Take us seriously?”

“We don’t view each other that way.” You say as quietly as you can, making Taehyung’s heart race. “We never will.”

“Oh.” Taehyung drops his head low, “Right.” Then he raises his head. “So are you saying you would never view me in any way besides a friend?”

“Obviously.” You chuckle, “That’s what we agreed on.”

Taehyung let’s your words marinate for a second…you’re right you two agreed to get along and nothing more. But things change? Taehyung is the type to realize things pretty quickly and go for it. He’s questioning a lot right now. Is he just super fucking attracted to you? Or does his feelings run deeper than that. And he just got his answer.

The fact that you say you would never view him that way has him feeling down, like a major state of depression is coming, like a large storm cloud is making its way over his body.

He wants you to change your mind. He wants you to like him. Why? Isn’t it obvious? He likes you.

“I guess.” He finally says after a long while, he doesn’t know what else to say honestly. He knows you aren’t anywhere near ready to hear his feelings and honestly he isn’t ready to say them out loud yet either. He knows he isn’t technically dating Hana but he still feels like he’s doing something wrong…like he’s cheating or just straight up betraying.

“Let’s walk.” He says standing to his feet, he leans down to help you up by the arm.

“Okie.”

You two begin walking down a path underneath the starry sky, his hand keeps bumping into yours as he talks and you grow nervous at the small contact. You can handle it, or so you think but when his skin touches your skin you feel a bolt of electricity fly down to your lower belly.

“And Jimin is my favorite.” He chuckles, “I mean, don’t get me wrong…I love all the guys but Jimin and I go way back. He can read me like his favorite book and vise versa.”

“That’s awesome. I wish I could meet them.” You admit shyly and Taehyung smiles down at you.

“You can!” he grins, “When we get out of here, I’ll fly you to Korea so you can visit me and you’ll meet the guys. Trust me, they’ll love you.”

You nod your head blushing like a middle school girl who just confessed a crush, you can’t help how rosy your cheeks get.

“You really think you’ll want to see me after this? Aren’t you tired of me yet?” you joke.

“Why? Are you tired of me?” Taehyung’s voice dips down an octave. “You can be honest.”

“No, Tae. I’m not tired of you….yet.” You bump your shoulder into his side and he chuckles.

“Good. Because…” Taehyung pauses, not entirely sure of what he was going to say. “Because…” he begins again. “I think I’m just getting used to you.”

“Only now?” you half joke, teasing him. “We—”

“I just mean,” Taehyung clears his throat, cutting you off. “I think I mean like I’m used to you in a way that I look forward to spending everyday with you.”

Oh. Oh. You stop walking abruptly making Taehyung stop as well, he blinks at you in confusion like ‘why the hell did you stop so suddenly?’.

“You look forward to spending time with me?” you swallow down your spit as you try to speak. “That’s…really sweet of you.” You admit.

Taehyung walks to you and stops just when his toes hit yours, “I can be very sweet.” He whispers to you. “I can show you.” Then he’s taking your hand in his and intertwining your fingers, you only stare up at him confused by his action.

“For the cameras?” you ask as quietly as possibly.

“Not everything is for the cameras y/n. When are you going to get that through your pretty head?”

~~~~~~~~

Lately, Taehyung is confusing the hell out of you. He’s doing things he wouldn’t normally do, you think. You can understand flirting for the camera but why is he doing shit even when the cameras aren’t around? It’s not like you hate it…no, it’s not that. You hate to admit it but you fucking like it. A lot. The way he leans into you, the way his hands grip at your waist, the way his touch absolutely melts you. But it’s dangerous. You can’t get attached to him. He’s the first real friend you have in so many months…and that makes you feel pathetic. Poor guy is forced to be friends with you, flirt with you and so on.

You can feel the anxiety start to build…you hate this. You hate how easy it is for you to break, for you to crumble. It’s one of those days, right? You’ve barely made much of an appearance downstairs and you know that worries Taehyung. But today is just one of those days. The heartbreak of your real life seeps into the joyous façade of your island life. Fuck, you hate this. You hate how messy everything is and how nothing feels right or feels real.

It feels like your old life is becoming more and more out of reach, like you run after it, extending your hand out but it’s too far away from your grasp and that has you feeling helpless.

And that overwhelming dread suffocates you. Its hand wraps tightly around your throat, threatening to cut off your air supply. You’re sat up in your bed, your knees pulled into your chest as you try your hardest to level out your breathing, but it’s no use. No fucking use. The dread is too strong, its fingers leaving bruises around your neck.

“Breathe…breathe.” You repeat the words over like a mantra but your throat burns as tears threaten to pool your eyes so you keep them screwed shut.

Suddenly, you hear soft knocks on your bedroom door. Your head snaps upward. Shit.

“Y-Yeah?” You manage to choke out.

“Can I come in?” Taehyung’s voice is muffled on the other side of the door, his voice laced in concern.

“Uh…” you try to calm yourself down so you can respond properly.

“C-Can you just come by later?” You weakly suggest.

There’s a few beats of silence, you start to think he’s given up on you and left when you hear his soft voice once again,

“I have strawberries.”

You feel the pounding of your anxious heart relax just the tiniest. He brought me strawberries…of course he did.

“Umm sure, come in.”

Taehyung slowly creaks the door open, exposing himself.

He walks to the side of the bed, approaching you carefully, one hand carrying a bowl while the other carries a can of whipped cream.

“Snack?” He shakes the can in offering.

You try to smile, you really want to at least. But you feel your chest growing heavier and tighter, your breathing once again becoming uneven. Images of your family and your friends—the ones who didn’t totally shun you—come to mind and you just can’t take it anymore. Everything is too much. Tears well deep inside and before you realize it, tears are racing down your cheeks. You look up at Taehyung, without say anything you are begging him to comfort you. You weakly smile.

“Its…hard.” You admit between choked sobs. It so fucking hard. You miss your old life—believe it not—and the life you have now…is just playing pretend. Everything’s just too much for you right now.

Taehyung seems…surprised. He looks like he’s being torn apart.

“Woah, woah.” He rushes to set the bowl and can down on the nightstand.

“Hey, shh shh.” Taehyung sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. He reaches for your shoulder and begins rubbing it soothingly. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

You cry even harder at that. You reach your hand towards your shoulder and grab his, holding it tightly. You try your best to calm down, his touch relieving some of your pain.

“That’s it… In and out…good.” He continues rubbing your shoulder, even with your hand attached to his. He then releases your hand and finds his way into your hair, massaging your scalp, slowly and tenderly. A long sigh escapes you.

“I…I’m sorry for this…” You take a deep breath, “I just miss them so much.” You laugh pitifully, your head falling into your hands. “I know it’s pathetic.”

“No!” Taehyung’s stern voice startles you. “Don’t you say that. It’s understandable y/n…if anyone understands you, it’s me, right?” He reaches for your hand. “And I think you’ve been amazing, it’s okay to break down every once in a while.”

You manage to nod your head, as you stare down at your connecting hands.

“I know I can’t make up for the people we’ve been ripped from…”

“Don’t do that.” you say, squeezing his hand. “Don’t compare yourself with people from my old life.”

“I…sorry.” He breathes out, squeezing your hand back.

The two of you let long moments of silence pass between you, they are comfortable moments though. Just feeling his hand in yours is enough to make you breathe easy again.

“We have each other.” He says out of nowhere. He gazes into your swollen eyes and he can’t believe he didn’t notice before…he always thought your eyes were dark, plain, boring but he sees how gorgeous and deep they are. They look like the setting sun, they look like they could hold stars, they look mesmerizing.

“Yeah, we do.” You try to smile. “Will you…will you stay with me tonight?” Your voice is small and timid. Taehyung is surprised to say the least, that you would request such a thing but he’s softening his features and smiles for you.

“Yeah, of course.” Taehyung breathes out. He rises from the bed and walks to the other side, he makes his way to the spot he is supposed to occupy.

“This is okay, right?” he asks, making sure.

You can’t help but swallow hard as you answer. “Yes.”

Taehyung slips into the bed, sliding underneath the sheets…yours are way softer than his, he thinks. He lays on his side, facing you.

“I miss my sister.” You whisper. “She could be so annoying and over protective but,” you pause, trying not to cry again, “But I do miss her.” You laugh as Taehyung stays silent.

“My-my mom’s cooking, it’s the best. We may not always get along and we kind of fight a lot…but her way of apologizing or making sure I am okay is by cooking me some amazing meal.” You turn to your side as well, your back facing him. You’re too embarrassed to look at him.

“My dad…he always comforts me…he always has my back when I fight with my mom…” you chuckle and then you feel Taehyung’s hand on your back. He begins tracing circles on the fabric of your shirt.

“You know I use to go to this coffee place almost every single day. I miss it. That routine. It’s called Cozy Coffee…a small, family owned shop. Only one of its kind. I would read, write, journal. Just relax. Every day.” You breathe out, missing your comfort spot.

“My friend Layla…who isn’t really my friend anymore…she used to give the best advice. She would probably know exactly what to say to help me get through this situation.” You say a little bitterly. Taehyung feels his heart start to ache as he listens to you.

“You have me to get through this.” Taehyung whispers.

“I know I have you, Tae.” You move from your side to your back. “It’s crazy…I’ve only known you for 6 months but I…” you pause, hating yourself for admitting this. “I feel so close to you.” You quietly admit. “Can I ask you something?” you don’t wait for him to respond as you begin speaking again. “You think if we had met organically…we would get along?” you swallow hard before continuing, “Or are we only getting along because we like, have to? Because face it, you have no one else to talk to and—”

“y/n.” his tone is firm. “Don’t.” he warns. “Don’t think of it that way.”

“Just because you say that doesn’t mean I won’t.” you snap, surprising him.

“We will still talk after we get out of here…we will visit, we will make this work…” Taehyung tries but you scoff.

“If that’s even possible.”

“What do you mean?”

“We live so far from each other. And sure, we have texts and video chats but what about the time difference? Huh? This isn’t going to work afterwards. I’m already…” you take in a shaky breath, “I’m already getting so attached to you.” you then release that same shaky breath. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch when I don’t hear from you months at a time…” you shake your head, “and that’s okay! Because you’re just living life.” You clear your throat, he can tell you’re on the verge of crying. Fuck, what does he do?

“I’m sorry.” You wipe your face with your hands, “This convo took a turn, I’m sorry.”

Taehyung feels his heart aching still, it hurts. He hurts because you’re hurt. He just wants you to feel better.

“C’mere you baby.” He says while tugging on your arm towards his body…you barely even think about it as you scooch closer to him and you let him hold you in his arms for a short hug. You pull away just as quickly as you get comfortable in bed again.

“Get some sleep y/n. You’ll feel better in the morning, I promise.”

The A.C is kept rather low, and the buzz of the spinning fan keeps things cool…so, Taehyung’s arms wrapped around you is more than welcome. WAIT. Your eyes shoot open now, realizing your position. Your back is facing him, and your-your butt is shoved into his crotch. If the word ‘shoved’ was too aggressive you apologize but shit is true. Your ass is shoved deep into his crotch, you mean, you can feel everything. It’s an awkward position to say the least…you mean, or is it?

You glance around the room, your eyes fluttering all the way open. It’s now just hitting you that you two really slept in this room together.

His limbs are heavy, slung over your smaller body. His body is acting like your own personal heater, it’s pretty nice, not gonna lie. And his scent—don’t get started on his scent. His breathing is calm, each fan of his breath tickling your skin. Should you try to escape his hold? Or just let it be? Is it weird if you intentionally stay? Your mind is starting to race with a thousand questions, your overthinking getting the best of you. You lay still while your mind drowns in thoughts of Taehyung. Suddenly, you feel Taehyung stir behind you, so you immediately slam your eyes shut in panic, pretending to be asleep.

You can feel Taehyung sit up, just the slightest , one arm still under your head. But then Taehyung slips down further into the sheets once more, his body moving even closer to yours. His arms engulf you into a tight back hug, you can feel his face nuzzling the back of your neck. And the worst part is you feel him inhale you, snuggling impossibly closer. This makes you tense and melt at the same fucking time. He just nuzzled and inhaled you like you were what? He fucking safe space? You feel pulled into him, drawn to him. So you sleepily turn over in his arms, you wrap an arm around him while keeping your other arm safely tucked into your chest. You open your eyes to take a look at Taehyung’s sleeping face when you are met with two wide eyes. He looks…shocked at first but then the corners of his lips turn upwards. He gently squeezes your body into his and slowly closes his eyes again.

How can he sleep again?! Your mind is racing, your heart is racing, your body is racing even if you are frozen. Your nerves are very present, you feel your stomach turn, you feel butterflies flying, you feel restless. But Taehyung? He is absolutely fine. And that makes your body feel an ache you wish it didn’t.

~~~~

“Uh, can I help you?” You wait impatiently for an answer…you were just falling asleep!

“Sleepover.” Taehyung says nonchalantly while pushing past you, entering your bedroom.

“Um, sleepover?”

“I can’t sleep. I want to cuddle. Very innocent stuff.” Taehyung says as he pulls back the covers on your bed.

“Tae…” you hesitate to close the door, “What do you think you are doing?”

Ever since your little panic attack and your little sleepover with Taehyung, he has gotten used to the idea of snuggling closer to you even on places like the couch. And now tonight, he is here in your room requesting to sleep with you. You go red just at the thought.

“Don’t be a brat, y/n.” he says slipping into the bed and patting the spot next to him, “Now come over here.” He grins at you and you flush.

“Fine…” you can’t say you hate the idea…after getting a taste of cuddling once you have been yearning for his touch…just a little. You turn off the lights and step over towards the bed, sliding inside and snuggling in the blanket.

“No, come here.” He softly commands, “Lay on my chest…ah, wait.” He stops you from moving. “Do you mind if I sleep with my shirt off?”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before so sure.” You mumble. Taehyung winks at you before he’s lifting his shirt over his head, sliding back down into the bed. “Now come.”

Taehyung slips an arm underneath your head as you lay down on his bare chest…you won’t lie…his warm skin on your cheek has you melting.

“So you think you and Hana would be a couple by now?” you decide to ask but you cringe at your own question. Why the hell did you bring up Hana? Taehyung’s face falls into a frown.

“Probably...maybe…I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Why are you saying sorry, it’s not like it’s your fault.”

“Somehow it feels like it is.” You admit, you lean a little closer to Taehyung, your body feeling heavier and heavier.

“It’s not…” he wraps his other hand around your waist, “I don’t regret meeting you y/n.”

“Do you mean that?”

You lean away from him and scoff, “Your life could be perfect right now but I’m ruining it.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” Taehyung warns, “It’s not you—”

“It is me! This company paired you with me! A complete and total stranger!” you whisper, “You’re stuck here with me, Taehyung. You’re forced to be what, friends with me?”

“No one’s forcing me to do anything. I genuinely enjoy spending time with you…” Taehyung tries to explain, he’s becoming really confused. Where is this all coming from?

“y/n…”

“What?” you snap and he flinches, “sorry…what is it?” you ask more softly.

“I could say the same about me, that I’m ruining your life too—”

“My life is already a mess before you.”

“We’re friends y/n. When we get out of here I will find you on twitter or what—”

“I don’t have social media.” You say.

“Fine, we will eventually exchange numbers. You get the point, we’re friends. Real friends.”

“Sorry I’m just overwhelmed…” you finally admit, “We’ve been here over six month Taehyung…why are we still here? How hasn’t anyone found us yet? Aren’t they looking for us?”

“I’m sure people are trying.”

“I don’t hate being with you.” You say, “But I want to go home.” You begin to sniffle and Taehyung panics. He tightens his hold on you, he wishes he could bring you in even closer.

“I know. Me too.” He admits, hugging you tight. “But at least we got each other, right?”

Taehyung is the closest thing you’ve had to a friend in months…you don’t want to get this attached to him. When you guys get sent home…he’s going back to Korea and you back to your home and he will move on with his life and you won’t have him anymore.

“Sure.” You reply weakly, “Sure.”

“Let’s not talk about this anymore.” Taehyung whispers.

“What should we talk about then? Or should we just go to sleep?”

“No, I want to chat.” He chuckles. “Why do you seem nervous around me sometimes?” he decides to ask, his hand loosening around your waist.

“Me? Nervous? You’re just imagining that.” You breathe out, “and if I have been it’s not like you have never been nervous around me…right?”

“Who says I haven’t?” His chuckles come out dark and low. “I think I make you nervous.”

His hand slides down until he grips at your thigh before he’s letting go and gliding his fingers across your thigh and up to your hip. Your bare legs feeling the electric touch of his fingers. You suck in a long breath at the contact.

“W-Why would you make me nervous?” your eyes flutter shut and you bite down on your bottom lip as he continues to stroke your thigh. Your breathing picking up unknowing to you, your chest rising and falling faster than before.

“Your body tells me I do.” He says slowly, his voice deep.

Your quick breaths fan across his chest…he obviously knows you are getting affected.

“What does that mean?” you sigh but Taehyung doesn’t answer he just continues his ministrations on your skin. The way your shorts ride up gives him access to your thighs and hip. He lightly strokes you over and over, making you lose some of your composure. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched. And Taehyung knows this. He knows he should probably stop…but your skin feels so warm, so soft. His fingers skid across your upper thigh again and he notices how you exhale deep long breaths at his touch, how you close your eyes, how you bite your lip.

“If I don’t make you feel nervous,” he begins, his light touch never stopping, “then what do I make you feel?”

“Good.” You breathe out, “You make me feel good.”

Taehyung raises his brows in amusement, clearly liking your admission.

“You don’t know how good I can make you feel y/n.” Taehyung’s voice goes low, it makes the goosebumps on your skin rise.

“Taehyung…” You open your eyes again and find his, his gaze is so dangerous you could honestly feel the torture of it forever.

His hand travels lower to caress your calf, then he’s sliding it back up again this time closer to the inner part of your thigh. Without thinking you slightly spread your legs apart, letting his fingers play with your more sensitive skin.

His touch is sending heat waves throughout your body and God, you are melting at his burning hot touch. You start to dance your hips around, too turned on to actually feel embarrassed.

“Jeez…you’re really getting worked up.” Taehyung darkly chuckles. He stares down at you with dark, intense eyes. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

“S-Shut up.” You breathe out. “We probably…we probably shouldn’t do this…” you say, your voice strained.

Taehyung only smirks. “Do what? What exactly is it do you think we are going to do?”

His fingers slide closer and closer to the place that he shouldn’t. Your inner thigh is dangerous enough…but he lightly strokes you closer anyway. He knows exactly what he is doing.

“Do you think I’m going to make you come?” he teases. You hate how deep his voice gets when he talks to you like this—not that he’s ever said anything this bold.

“Lay on your back for me.” You nod your head until realization hits you.

“WAIT WHAT?” you sit up. “I am not going to like, have sex with you! Plus how can you even be sure I would come during sex?” You cock a brow, “You are a real cocky bastard, you know that?” Taehyung rolls his eyes all the way to the back of his head.

“We aren’t having sex.” He assures you. Oh. A little tiny voice in your head is asking why not. “And I definitely could make you come during sex. Jeez y/n, what type of incompetent guys have you been with?” Taehyung smirks, sitting up as well.

“T-Then how would you make me come?” You ask, suddenly feeling shy under his intense gaze. The gaze that drives you fucking nuts.

“With my fingers?” He shrugs.

“Aren’t you afraid this will ruin our friendship?” you pull at the ends of your hair, you know, a bad fucking habit.

“Not at all.” He says with total nonchalance. Jesus this guy is something else.

His features soften as he stares down at you, “Just let me take care of you.” He says.

You need to say no. This crosses way too many lines. But you can’t. You won’t. You figure you can just forget about it because that’s your only choice since you are already nodding your head in agreement.

“Then relax for me.” Taehyung uses his hand to softly push you down by the shoulder. “Please.” He licks his lips watching you ease yourself back on to the bed. You never break eye contact with Taehyung as your chest heaves again. How does he affect you this quickly? You are full of nerves, no shit, but you are so turned on by Taehyung’s low voice and sharp gaze that you nod your head, going along with his words.

“Good.” He says and you let out a long, harsh breath in response. Almost a moan.

“Taehyung…” your voice comes out more breathy than you intend and you immediately blush. You can feel his erection struggling in the confines of his sweats, poking the side of your thigh, you hope you calling out his name is making him suffer even more. Taehyung hasn’t made another move yet, just staring at you like he’s never seen you before.

“Please…” You reach for his hand and set it between your inner thighs. Wow, when were you this bold? He immediately smirks.

“Patience, baby.” The pet name has you rolling your eyes and not in a sassy way. Your lips part and your eyes are half lidded, you are a goner. And from what? This barely counts as foreplay! You are just so deprived of sexual attention. Taehyung watches you and you feel him rut against your thigh, God he feels so big.

“Sorry,” he says weakly, his own breaths sharp.

He takes a moment to compose himself, but to be honest you wish he wouldn’t. Taehyung lets out a long breath becoming even more serious, if that is possible. His hand is already dipped between your thighs and you are sure he can feel how desperate you are by the way you squirm. Even though he hasn’t even touched you. But you ache for his touch, it honestly hurts.

Finally, he cups you in his large hand. “So warm.” He says lowly. He wastes no time, using his fingers to move your shorts and panties to the side and swirls two fingers over your aching clit. You are dripping in arousal, his fingers getting coated in your juices within seconds.

“Did I make you this wet? Just by barely touching you?” He sounds genuinely surprised. Taehyung continues to glide his fingers between your folds.

You try to stay quiet, not trusting your voice at this point. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched that the feeling of his fingers, his long, beautiful fingers has you struggling to keep quiet. But you choke out when Taehyung slips a long finger inside you, pumping in and out very slowly. You whine at the sudden contact.

“I asked you a question.”

He enters another long finger into your greedy cunt. You want more of him. You are starting to think his fingers aren’t enough, but that’s your horny haze talking. His fingers begin thrusting into you, twisting his fingers in a way that has your body rutting against him. You can’t help the long dragged out moan that escapes your parted lips. Maybe they are enough, holy shit.

“Who made you this wet?” he asks almost like he genuinely wants to know like it’s not obvious.

Taehyung inserts another finger. Fuck. You moan over and over, loving how he explores you.

“Huh, baby?” he questions while you squeeze your eyes shut, while your mouth hangs open.

“I need you to use your words.” His fingers come to a sudden stop, he pulls them away from you. You gasp at the loss of contact. How un-fucking-fair. Your eyes shoot open, looking at him with eyes on fire.

“Y-You!” You finally choke out, “You made me this wet! Please Taehyung, please don’t stop.” You are a whining, withering mess. Taehyung just watches you, a dark smile appearing on his face.

“So greedy.” He says, his wicked grin taking over his face. “So fucking greedy.”

And before you know it, his fingers are back inside you but this time moving at a greater force than before, leaving you fucking breathless. His long fingers are reaching places so much deeper than you ever could.

“There…there. Don’t stop.” You pant.

The slick sounds of his fingers pushing into your body is delicious and disgusting. Between your moans and his harsh breaths and the sound of his fingers inside your body…it’s music to your ears.

“Need…need more…” you pant, your hand coming to your mouth.

“More? I got you babe.” His fingers leave your core, leaving you frustrated. How was this more? But then suddenly those same fingers are on your clit, your most sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Gonna—gonna make you feel so good…” You glance Taehyung’s way to see him with his gaze directed towards you already, his dark eyes somehow even darker.

You bite back a moan, your hand still covering your mouth.

“Let me hear you. Don’t cover your beautiful sounds.”

His fingers rub your aching clit even faster, harder, added pressure that is making you see stars and you aren’t even coming yet.

“So close Tae, I’m so…so”

“Yeah baby? Wanna come?”

“Yes yes yes” the coil twists tighter between your legs, already ready to snap. Taehyung repeats his motions, pulling you closer and closer to the edge. Taehyung watches with parted, panting lips as you lose all composure.

“Fuck, y/n.” Taehyung grunts under his breath, his voice taking you to the end.

Your body is twisting and turning, your hair is stuck to your forehead as the sweat builds up. Your eyes are slammed shut and your lips are apart releasing moan after moan. His other hand is at your core as well, two fingers entering you.

“Come all over my fingers, y/n. Let go baby, let go.”

Taehyung’s words has your vision going white, your entire body goes tense and then you are letting go. Cumming all over Taehyung’s fingers as his pumps slow and you begin to come down from your high. Your hand reaches up and grips his left arm, you whine at the feel of his muscles underneath your touch—only further turning you on. You clench your thighs together, bucking your hips into his slowing hand. Finally, you grind against his hand one last time, letting out all your last moans.

“You did so good.” Taehyung teases, his fingers leaving your body.

“Shut up.” Your breaths are heavy but you smile. Taehyung’s breathing isn’t much better. What do you do now? Say thank you?

“I’ll wash up and bring you a towel.” Taehyung informs you, breathing out roughly. He is painfully hard, you could feel him rutting against you the entire time he fingered you. Probably why you came so fast, honestly.

You hear Taehyung in the bathroom washing his hands. The sound of the running water giving you time to think. Sooooo what the fuck just happened? Did you just let your friend, your roommate, your fellow victim…finger bang you? Finger bang…what are you, 14? Either way, what the fuck? This is a lot to take it…you didn’t hate it. What do you do with that thought? No guy has ever made you come that fast and just from his fingers? Dear Lord, dear sweet baby Jesus. This is obviously because you haven’t come in so long…you mean, you’ve touched yourself, don’t get it wrong but it only ended in frustration. But tonight…you met a different fate. A fate that was in the hands of your friend. Your fucking friend. All the sudden tears prick your eyes—you’re just friends. You quickly pat your eyes dry with your T-shirt and shake your head to rid yourself of these thoughts. Why are you disappointed you’re just friends?

Before you know it Taehyung is back in the room, he’s holding a towel in his hand. He walks to your side of the bed and crawls on top…he looks hesitant. He almost looks afraid of you.

You reach for the towel, its warm and damp.

“No, I’ll do it.” Taehyung smiles softly, his eyebrows creasing as he does so.

He takes the damp towelette and begins cleaning up. You hiss at the contact, you are still incredibly sensitive. He only takes a few seconds to clean up the mess you two made before he’s pulling back.

“Thanks…” you mumble. Him cleaning you up was oddly intimate. Maybe it’s not that odd how intimate it felt actually. Because you know what? It was fucking intimate! This whole fiasco was intimate as hell! And it’s all your fault.

Taehyung sits on his knees, awkwardly might you add. You don’t know what to do with the towelette so you just throw it behind him. He looks at you with slight disgust before he’s smiling.

“Really?” he gives you a pointed look.

“What? I’ll throw it in the dirty clothes basket in the morning.” you smile back, then you become shy. Yes, fucking shy. Like you weren’t just a moaning mess for him minutes prior. You don’t know what to do with yourself. What do you say? What do you do? A sigh of relief is pushing past your lips when you realize Taehyung probably feels the same. He is looking at you like you might break. Suddenly you don’t feel relief, you feel guilt. This is your fault, you did this. You allowed this. What does he think of you now? You don’t just usually let your friends finger bang you—uh, you really need to stop saying it like that—this is bad.

“Aren’t you going to lay down?” You gesture to his side of the bed real awkwardly.

“Yup.” He then rolls his entire body over yours, like his weight wouldn’t crush you, landing in his previous spot on the bed. He sinks down into the sheets, leaving like a foot of space between you both. He is literally on the edge of his side of the bed. Shit. You did this. Now you’re fucking awkward.

“So.”

“So…”

Taehyung isn’t one to get weird after a sexual encounters but this is you we’re talking about, the girl he is stuck on an island with, the girl who is apparently his best match, the girl he definitely wants to fuck and last but not least, the girl he has real romantic feelings for.

He had the fanfuckingtastic idea of fucking you with his fingers…yeah, real smart on his part. He feels himself fill with pride that he was the first and only to make you come since you’ve been here.

He knows you two need to talk. What could this mean? He knows you enjoyed yourself…he knows you loved every moment his fingers were inside you. He is well aware of that fact. Your moans and cries of pleasure are indication enough.

He needs to talk to you though, he needs to hear how you feel. He wants you. He wants you so fucking bad. Taehyung smiles because he has a feeling this will turn out alright.

“So about what just happ—”

“Thanks for that,” you’re quick to cut him off, “but can we pretend that never happened?” you laugh, humorless.

Oh.

“Okay.”

~~~~~

It’s been a week. A fucking week. And you have hardly even looked at Taehyung much less spoke to him. It’s kind of hard to ignore the one person you live with but he guesses in such a big house he’s able to stay out of your way. Because that’s what you want, right? He thinks that’s what you want. You’ve been spending an awful amount of time in your bedroom and your dance studio and not a whole lot of time in the common areas. So basically fuck Taehyung, right? At least that’s what he’s thinking.

You…you regret it, right? Letting things escalate? You want to forget all about your little sleepover—like it never happened. And he has no one to blame but himself. But he couldn’t contain himself…touching you felt so good, felt so right. And the way you reacted from his simple touches…you want him, don’t you? At least that’s what he thought. He knows this is his fault. And he wants to take responsibility, as a man, as a decent human being…but he doesn’t know how to talk to you. When you two do pass each other, you either look at him with a tense, tight lipped smile or you don’t even acknowledge him at all. Both fucking hurt him. He feels like if this was the real world this is where you ghost him and he hates people who ghost.

Taehyung is just lying in bed, chest being crushed by a massive fat man as he wishes you would just talk to him. At this point that’s kind of all he wants. He has to accept this fact...this is an unrequited love, isn’t it? He groans in frustration, a heavy hand dragging down his face.

“y/n…” He whispers your name like a secret. It escapes past his lips without him really realizing. Why did the company set him up with a girl who will never feel the same? The thought rings in his head. The more he thinks about it the more he hates the company. He fists his hands in the sheets beneath him until his knuckles turn white. This fucking company is the one to blame for everything. He could be home, he could be making music, hanging with his friends and maybe even have Hana to call his. But no, he’s here. With the most amazing person he has ever met and it’s all one sided.

Would he change things? Wish he never came here? He honestly doesn’t know. But he can’t change things so why even ask that stupid question. Does he really wish he was back home and maybe be with Hana? But Hana didn’t do this to him. Didn’t make me feel lost and crazy and so fucking happy to even be in the same place as her. He loosens his grip on the sheets, flattening his palms on the bed. No, Hana was never the one for him. That he is certain of. But if you don’t feel the same way then you’re not the one for him either. And that fucking crushes him.

He huffs out a long breath and sits up, he tangles his fingers in his hair trying to soothe himself. It doesn’t really work but it was worth a shot. He gets off the bed and heads toward the door, he wants to wash his face with cold water, he needs a refresher, so he exits the room and begins walking towards the bathroom. As he reaches the door, he hears the sound of your bedroom door opening. You are leaving your bedroom for the first time today he believes and you immediately stop in your tracks when you spot him. Your eyes go wide and your mouth falls open just the slightest. He stares at you, just stares at you. His expression hardens when he remember this is you ghosting him but you speak up. Actually speak up.

“Hi.” You squeak out.

Explosions. Taehyung feels explosions everywhere. His heart is exploding, his mind is exploding, the world is exploding. How does one girl manage to rile him up this much? All you said was say hi…

“Hey.” He grumbles, not really doing much to hide his bitter tone.

You can’t help but wince at his response.

“Umm,” you start, your eyes darting all around the hallway. “Wanna…” your words get lost on your tongue.

“Wanna what?” he says harshly, folding his arms over his broad chest.

“Wanna watch a movie?” you whisper, your eyes down at your feet.

“Do I wanna watch a fucking movie?” He scoffs. Loud and clear.

“Oh.” You say, your eyes finally meeting his.

“Oh.” he mimics, his stiff expression never letting up.

“Taehyung—”

“What?” there’s a bite in his tone.

“Please watch a movie with me?” Your eyes are pleading. God, that’s when they are his favorite.

Taehyung stares at you from across the hall, just staring, he lowers his arms to his side and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

“What movie?” He finally asks, his tone still tight.

“Any movie, it doesn’t matter.” You rush to say, feeling hopeful he will take you up on your suggestion. You shift from one foot to the other, your nerves spiking. He loves seeing you nervous like this, he can’t help it.

“Can we talk first?” He takes a few steps towards you but you clumsily move backward, backing away from him.

“We’re talk-talking right now.” You breathe out, your eyes never leaving his.

“You know exactly what I am talking about y/n.” his voice goes lower.

“Just wanna watch a movie.” You take another step back.

“Jesus y/n,” Taehyung rolls his eyes at you, “you really suck ass at confrontation.” He bites back.

You’re quiet for a moment, your eyes still on Taehyung. You suck in your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down hard. You are lost in your thoughts, trying to focus on the specific one you need. You’re swaying from side to side, clearly thinking of how to respond to him.

“You fingered me, big deal.” You finally huff out, rolling your eyes.

“It’s not a big deal? Then why haven’t you talked to me all fucking week?” He takes a few steps closer, closing the major distance between you two. This time your feet stay planted on the ground.

“Was worried you might take it… the wrong way.” You say, your eyes slide to the side. You understand this is a weak ass excuse but…

“Take it the wrong way?” He takes another step forward.

“Yeah. We’re just friends, right? Friends don’t let friends get them off. Didn’t want you to think this was something more.” Your words slice through him, cutting him up. Something more. Of course that’s what you were worried about. You just didn’t want him to catch feelings for you or whatever the fuck. Well too fucking late babe, he thinks bitterly.

“Right.” He finally says, taking one last step forward. He won’t lie, his heart doesn’t feel good. It feels sick probably, like it has an aching fever. Taehyung leans forward until his lips are barely touching the shell of your ear. His warm breaths tickling your skin.

“Just friends also don’t moan out for them over and over wanting to come.” He whispers, “And just friends don’t enjoy what we did as much as we did.” His deep voice sends chills across your body as you sigh out. “But right, we are just friends.”

“Yeah.” You release a shaky breath, “So…A movie?”

“Sure, y/n.” he leans away from you and he gives a half smile, he looks pained. And it hurts you. You nod your head towards the stairs and he nods in agreement.

But there’s still a lingering tension in the air, you can feel and you are sure Taehyung feels it too. There’s no way you are imagining a tension this thick. Somethings not right and after all of this, and you aren’t sure it ever will be.

You’re full of regret. Don’t get it wrong, you don’t regret crossing the line with Taehyung…you regret telling him to forget about it. You just got so scared…he is closest thing you have to a friend and you hope you didn’t ruin that. But there’s more. You feel something more and that scares you too. What happens if you tell him you liked it and you want more but he rejects you first? He beats you to it.

“Should I make some popcorn?” Taehyung asks, his hands fiddling with the TV’s remote as he lowers the volume.

“Sure.” You respond a bit awkwardly. You find your way to the couch, sitting on one end, pulling the blanket to your lap.

Taehyung takes his time in the kitchen, he gulps down a glass of water as he waits for the popcorn to finish in the microwave. Once the timer is going off he takes it out and pours the popcorn in a large bowl and makes his way to the living room finding the sofa and taking a seat on the other side of it.

“You can sit closer Tae…” you shyly offer, your hand gesturing towards the spot next to you but Taehyung stares at you with hard eyes.

“No thanks. I’m good here.”

“Seriously Taehyung? You pout, “Can we try to be a little normal?”

“Don’t know if that’s possible.” He quickly retorts, staring straight ahead now.

You frown at that, your lips turning downward in the most animated way. This is a mess. Everything is a mess. And it’s your fault. You feel bad, so fucking bad. You feel like Taehyung hates you. And that thought breaks your freaking heart into a million and one pieces.

“Taehyung?” you start to inch closer to him and he whips his head in your direction.

“”What?” He leans away from you, confused why you are scooting closer to him.

“Taehyung…” you sit as close to him as possible and he looks at you with a face void of emotion. You eye him carefully and he looks numb. This just makes you feel worse. Tears start to prick your eyes and your face scrunches up…Taehyung’s features soften when he realizes how close you are to crying.

“Cry baby.” He states, his voice much softer than he intended. “Come.” He pulls you by the arm, bringing him to his body.

“Taehyung.” You sniffle.

“What is it?” he replies back easily this time, no harshness in his tone…like, instead it’s the sound of comfort.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out, burying your head into his chest. You inhale him and his scent makes you feel dizzy. You breathe him in again, getting high off of him. You start to silently cry, your tears wetting his shirt…he doesn’t say anything though, he just rubs your back soothingly.

“What are you sorry for?” he asks, almost hesitant.

“Everything.” You admit. “Sorry for what I said in the hall…sorry for…” you cry a little more.

“For?”

“I shouldn’t have asked you to forget about that night.” You finally push out, sliding your eyes to the side. Taehyung blows out a puff of air and offers you a small smile.

“Why did you?” he asks softly.

“I don’t know.” You answer with a half-truth. Taehyung creases his brows, pulling them together so dramatically as his expression hardens again.

“You don’t know?” he pinches his nose with his fingers. “Listen…did you enjoy it?” he asks bluntly. His eyes finding yours again and it’s that same gaze that drives you insane.

“Taehyung…”

“Did you enjoy it y/n?” he asks again, this time more demanding.

“I…” the words get lost in a lump in your throat.

“Words y/n.” His hardened expression intimidates the fuck out of you to say the least. “Is that what you are afraid of? That because you liked it so much…you’ll want more?”

Bulls fucking eye. You swallow down your response. You just let your mouth open and close and open and close again, unable to say anything.

“What did I say about using your words y/n?” Taehyung scoots closer, making you feel fucking suffocated…but not entirely in a bad way.

“Tae��” his name escapes you in a breathy moan.

Taehyung stares down at you, his eyes narrowed and serious. He breathes out roughly before scoffing.

“I think we’re done here.” He states coldly, he stands to his feet and begins walking away, leaving you confused and breathless.

Done? How? What does he mean? Taehyung then continued to avoid you for several more days…until…

~~~~~~

“I’m not doing it.” Taehyung yells out, loud enough for you, who is in another room to hear.

“What?” You shout back, wiping your forehead with a towel. “Did you say something?” It would be the first time he’s saying something to you in several days.

“I said I’m not doing it!” and with that you hear him bolt up the stairs and after a few seconds the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut could be heard throughout the house.

“Jeez…” You step out of your dance studio, sweat patted dry into your skin. “What’s he throwing a tantrum over?” but somehow you have a feeling. You walk into the living room towards the bright TV, you face falling at the sight. The TV is bright white with black letter painted across, showing the ‘Request’ that has your face as white as a ghost.

Request: make out for 1 Minute.

Penalty: no power for 5 days.

You reread the words at least 30 fucking times, letting each syllable sink in,

you sigh to yourself, feeling fucking lost. You know you have to talk to Taehyung, his reaction also repeating in your crazy mind. You slump your shoulders as your head bows down in defeat. He fucking hates you, wants nothing to do with you right now. It’s just some kissing right? You both have literally done worse. You have to talk to him. You lift your head and look in the direction of the staircase, your lips pulling into a pout. How would this go?

“I said we’re not doing it.” Taehyung plainly states. He sits on the edge of his bed, fists balling up the end of the blanket. You look between him and his cool statement and his fists of frustration.

“Taehyung we—”

“We can just take the penalty.” His tone is firm.

You look at him incredulously. Take the fucking penalty? 5 days without power?

“You’re saying you would rather have 5,” You lift up your hand showing him your five fingers in case he doesn’t know what 5 looks like, “5 fucking days without power then to just kiss me? Like really?”

“Really.” He stands from his bed, stepping in front of you, walking you backwards. You step back until your back hits the wall next to the door. Taehyung stops only a few inches away from you, looming over your body.

“So…I’ll be taking a nap now.” He says flatly.

Is he serious? He really won’t do this with you? You have seen each other naked for Christs sake! You’ve never not done a request! You get that he’s mad at you, but 5 days? 5 whole days?

“It’s just a minute Taehyung…” You murmur more to yourself than him. Hurt probably written all over your face. You are feeling absolutely rejected. A feeling you hate the most.

“Yeah.” he takes a step back. “A minute I don’t want to be a part of.” He spits out at you.

Fucking ouch.

Things with Ben hurt. Bad. But Taehyung wanting nothing to do with you? Hurts worse.

You look down at your feet, fidgeting with your digits.

“Why are you being such an asshole?” You say between deep breaths. You can’t cry. He’s quiet. Too quiet. You suck in a shaky breath, “I already said sorry so why are you treating me this way?” You don’t mean to sound so pathetic but you do because well, you are. He lets silence linger in the air. You can’t muster the courage to look up at him, he’s probably void of all emotion, probably will give you some robotic answer. If you are even lucky enough to get an answer.

You hear Taehyung exhale through his nose but that’s it. Without even sparing him a glance, you turn towards the door to take your leave but then you feel Taehyung’s hand on your arm stopping you.

“Wait.” His voice is rough. He clears his throat and releases his grip on you.

You turn to face him, finally lifting your head to see him. His eyes are narrowed and his lips are set in a firm line. At least he has an expression.

“What?” you mumble, your eyes glossy.

“Don’t cry.” He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing even more. His gaze is not one to fuck with.

“I won’t.” you say, unconvincing.

“y/n…” his gaze begins to soften.

“I won’t” you repeat, still just as unconvincing. Your eyes gloss over even more and you feel your throat beginning to tighten.

Taehyung relaxes his features even more, and to your surprise he reaches forward and rubs your shoulder.

“Please don’t cry.” His voice loses its edge, all softness now.

“I won’t” You choke out, barely able to keep your lip from quivering. A single tear falling from your eye.

“If I agree to do the request will you stop?” he asks, still rubbing your shoulder.

“If you-if you stop being an asshole I’ll stop.” Another tear.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just…I just had to be firm with you.” He admits, his voice low.

“I don’t understand…” You cry out. More tears fallen on your cheek.

Taehyung looks at you with an odd expression you can’t decipher.

“Trust me, I know.” He says, defeat lacing his tone. “Can you just…respect my decision?” he adds on.

“I just don’t see the big deal…” you sniffle, “We’ve done worse.”

“And look where that got us.” He laughs bitterly.

He’s not…wrong. But still, for some reason you keep pushing it.

“It’s just a minute Tae.” You try again, wiping your flushed face of tears.

Taehyung raises his brows at you and sets his lips into a firm line again, he places his hands into his pants pockets and rocks back and forth.

“Wanna do it that badly?” he lightly snaps. “Fine.”

You feel the shift in his mood again, he’s been a roller coaster lately—it’s so unlike him. Are you doing this to him? Damn, girl you toxic as fuck.

You step forward and reach for his hand, he lets you.

“What’s wrong?” You finally ask.

“What’s wrong?” he mocks your voice.

“Taehyung please—”

“I want to kiss you.” He states. “And…and...” he tears his gaze away from you, looking all around the room instead. “And you just don’t get that.”

Taehyung steps forward, a fire in his eyes as he speaks up again.

“It’s cruel for me, don’t you think? I get to kiss you until that timer goes off and then what? I have to pretend we didn’t just do that? Have to pretend we didn’t do something I have been wanting to do for god knows how long! I have to pretend we’re just fucking friends?” he shouts, laughing bitterly again.

You’re…stunned. Taehyung takes a step back again, his eyes never leaving yours. You look up at him with pinched brows and a confused mind.

“But yeah, let’s do the stupid request. That’s a great idea.” He rolls his eyes.

“Taehyung…” You start to feel guilty, like maybe and by maybe you mean obviously, you struck a chord.

“No y/n, we’re doing the request.” He cages you with his arms on either side of you, he leans forward until his nose is brushing yours. “I’m going to kiss you, and I am not responsible for what happens after that.” He leans away again, “So, I’ll see you tonight.”

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #the island chapter 5

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nitpick7 · 3 years ago

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Ayo anyone wanna see my essay on why removing Anybody Have A Map made the Dear Evan Hansen movie worse? It is slightly long

Disclaimer: I did like the movie (I cried three times), but I think they made some stupid decisions with it.

Dear Evan Hansen movie + musical spoilers under the cut, plus a fair amount of DEH neg/crit

Instead of Anybody Have A Map, they just have Evan's mom say "Hey are you writing those letters to yourself? Also you should ask the kids to sign your cast" before he goes to school and sings Waving Through A Window. They ignore every other part of the song and quickly insert the only thing from the song that's absolutely needed to understand the story so Evan can go be angsty at school. We don't even meet the Murphys until they meet Evan in the principal's office to tell him about Connor.

Disclaimer part 2 electric boogaloo: I complain about Evan a lot here. It's not because I think his experiences aren't valid and it's not because I'm trying to demonize people with mental illnesses or something. I know that his own struggles influenced his bad decisions. That doesn't mean they weren't bad decisions. He still did shitty things and he wasn't justified (listen to Words Fail), but I know it was influenced by his mental health.

On with the complaining!

First of all, the movie opens with Waving Through A Window? It feels like they're putting the most popular song first as a desperate grab for your attention to convince you the movie is good and like... they really didn't need to do that. Waving Through A Window is right after Anybody Have A Map, it's not like anyone's gonna walk out of the theatre after one (really good) song.

Anybody Have A Map establishes a few things: it shows us that both of these families are struggling so that we know immediately that the Murphys' perfect facade is fake, it shows us that Connor was a dick to his family (this is very important), and obviously it tells us why Evan was writing letters to himself. It also introduces us to the two main families at the same time so we know this story isn't just about Evan.

By starting the movie with an Evan solo song instead of the group song, they frame Evan as the one main character, the only person whose perspective we need to understand. But Evan is incredibly flawed, just like everyone else, and by making us think the story is only about him, it immediately makes us (the audience) more inclined to believe that Evan is always in the right and less inclined to consider everyone else's side of the story. Evan is an incredibly unreliable narrator, he's always going to frame his actions as correct, or at least excusable, even when he's actively hurting/lying to other people.

All of the Murphys get introduced through interacting with Evan instead of interacting with each other. This makes it seem like the Murphys only exist for Evan, but the entire point of the climax is that everything doesn't exist just for Evan! Evan is not part of their family, he can't just use everyone around him for his own benefit, and all of the Murphys have lives outside of him. When they're introduced through Evan, they're introduced as existing for Evan. Anybody Have A Map introduces them separately from Evan instead of attached to him.

Without Anybody Have A Map, we never actually see Connor being mean to Zoe, so she just looks like an asshole for not being sad about her dead brother. To make up for it, she's constantly having to tell the audience why she hated him, tripping over herself to talk about all the shitty things he did to her because we don't have Anybody Have A Map to show us their interactions. Zoe ends up complaining about her brother the entire time, so when it gets to Only Us and she says that she doesn't want everything to be about her brother, it seems out of character for her.

And with the removal of Anybody Have A Map, we don't ever see Connor interact with his own family in the movie. Anybody Have A Map is the only time we get to see Connor with his family. It shows us that Connor really was an asshole to his family, it justifies Zoe hating him, and it gives his mom more dimensions by showing her struggling to keep her family together even with everyone fighting against her. Without that, the writers ended up ignoring the most basic piece of writing advice - "show, don't tell" - to fill in the missing information from the song.

In the movie, all we get of Cynthia Murphy is... her being sad about Connor and refusing to admit that he ever did anything wrong. She's just boring and annoying in the movie, but in the musical, we get that bit at the beginning that shows her as an actual person with actual motivations! By cutting Anybody Have A Map, they made her into a more one-dimensional character.

So in a bit of a conclusion: Anybody Have A Map establishes the Murphys as main characters separate from Evan and shows us Connor's relationship with his family instead of telling us about it. It sets the scene for the story before just jumping into "Evan is sad and alone uwu anxious depressed soft boy" and makes everyone a better, more three-dimensional character. Getting rid of it meant that they had to do backflips to justify everyone's decisions during the movie instead of setting everything up at the beginning.

I do think the movie could've benefitted from Disappear but then again, it could've benefitted from the whole "Connor being the visual/vocal representation of Evan's justifications for why keeping up the lie is helping people" thing in general, but they got rid of that so Disappear wouldn't have worked. (I am salty that they got rid of that thing but whatever) The Anonymous Ones worked instead and it was a good song, so sure, why not I guess? /neutral

I could also complain about how they got rid of To Break In A Glove, Disappear, and Good For You, but none of those decisions actually impacted the story too much. To Break In A Glove and Good For You both got replaced with some tell-not-show cutscenes that gave us the same information in a less interesting way (and Larry got less character development without To Break In A Glove), and Disappear got replaced with an Alana song which was honestly pretty good so i'm fine with that one.

Now for some good changes that the movie made!

The Anonymous Ones was a good song, I actually really liked that. I'm disappointed that they got rid of Disappear, but they replaced it with another song that served the same purpose while also giving Alana more screen time and character depth! And it was a genuinely good song, I really enjoyed it and it made me like Alana more!

I really liked the ending of the movie. In the musical, there are literally no negative consequences for Evan, Zoe even forgives him at the end. She fucking forgives him for lying to her entire family about their dead son and and taking advantage of them because it "brought them closer together". And the internet never finds out what he did! He does all this terrible shit, lies to the entire fucking world, and gets away scot-free. And he never learns anything real about Connor. The movie changes all of that.

Connor's song was also a great addition! Every time we saw Connor in the musical, he was either being a dick or he was a fantasy version of himself made by Evan and/or Jared. Seeing that Connor can, in fact, be a nice person, that Cynthia's belief in him wasn't misplaced, was so satisfying. He really was just a meaner version of Evan a troubled kid lashing out at the world in self-defense. He wasn't an entirely bad person.

The Murphys still decide not to tell anyone what he did, but then Evan decides (on his own!) that he needs to own up to what he did. He records a video of himself admitting to what he did, shifts all the blame to himself, and then goes out of his way to fix his mistakes in any way he can. He says that his biggest regret is not getting to know Connor while he had the chance, so he goes online to find anything he can. He reads Connor's favorite books, tries to find anyone who might be able to tell him what Connor was like, and when he receives a video of Connor playing his song in rehab, he takes the time to send the video (through the mail, on a flash drive) to the Murphys, Jared, and Alana.

Evan doesn't contact Zoe at the end, she contacts him instead. She doesn't forgive him, and he doesn't ask for forgiveness. He knows what he did was wrong and he owns up to it and tries to fix it as much as possible, knowing full well that it could ruin his life. He does the right thing for the first time in the entire fucking movie (that's hardly even an exaggeration) and it's such a good ending. It makes more sense and is more satisfying than the musical.

The Dear Evan Hansen movie was not nearly as bad as the reviews say it was. It wasn't as good as the musical, it had its own problems, but it also made some good changes that I think made the story better. It wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it and most movies aren't perfect anyway. It really could've benefitted from Anybody Have A Map, though.

#the first draft of this took 50 minutes to write and it was on discord #then i spent a solid hour editing it while at work #please appreciate me /hj #pie.txt #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen movie #dear evan hansen musical #dear evan hansen review #evan hansen #connor murphy #zoe murphy #cynthia murphy #larry mora #alana beck #i tagged a post for once now give me clout #/j /j

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bloody-bee-tea · 4 years ago

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Sense

Two fics in one day, from completely opposite ends of the spectrum, after weeks of nothing from me? More likely than you think.

Jiang Cheng isn’t entirely sure how he ends up at this party, but he guesses it’s Wei Wuxian’s fault, not that he can spot his brother anywhere at the party.

Jiang Cheng frowns when he remembers that he last saw him making eyes at someone who looked remarkably like a statue and Jiang Cheng sighs.

Wei Wuxian is probably all over that guy now, only to forget about him in the morning and then complain to Jiang Cheng when they guy won’t take a hint.

They have been there, done that; multiple times in fact just in the past few months and honestly Jiang Cheng is tired of Wei Wuxian flirting with everything that moves.

Jiang Cheng looks around to see if he can find anyone else he knows and can tolerate talking to at this boring party, but Nie Huaisang is probably on his best way to be drunk and that’s really all the friends Jiang Cheng has.

He’s resigned to stay on this couch until Wei Wuxian remembers him or is ready to go home and it will probably be a long stay. Wei Wuxian can party all night long if he really wants to and Jiang Cheng curses himself yet again for offering to be the designated driver this evening.

His phone only distracts him for so long, and in the end Jiang Cheng simply observes the people around him.

He spots someone who looks a lot like the guy he saw Wei Wuxian with last, but this guy at least knows how to laugh so they are probably only related and not the same. There’s another guy with him—someone huge and muscular—and even Jiang Cheng can admit that he’s gorgeous, from a purely aesthetical point of view.

Jiang Cheng watches those two for a while longer, making it a game with himself to try and figure out if they are together or not, but when a third man, a lot smaller than the other two, joins them, it gets pretty self-explanatory.

The short guy leans up and demands a kiss or four from smiley guy and tall guy good-naturedly rolls his eyes at them before he leaves them to their own devices.

Jiang Cheng curses his bad luck, because that little game was the most interesting thing he had done the whole evening and now he’s resigned to get bored to death again. He sees the tall guy make his rounds a few times as time continues, and while he seems to be friendly with a lot of people he never stays with a group for too long.

Jiang Cheng tries his best to not be a creep, so he forces himself to let his eyes wander instead of simply watching tall guy all night long, but he most definitely notices when tall guy seems to notice him. The attention comes with a small smile and Jiang Cheng has honestly been to enough clubs and parties to know what this smile and that eye contact means, and he sighs when tall guy starts to make his way over to him.

“I’m not going to sleep with you,” is what Jiang Cheng greets him with and tall guy raises a curious eyebrow at him.

“Okay,” he easily says, and Jiang Cheng has to admit that it’s already better than what he normally deals with.

Normally people are angry or try to change his mind, sometimes rather forcefully and Jiang Cheng can’t say that he cares for either, so this reaction is already a nice change of pace.

At least Jiang Cheng thinks that, right until the guy sits down next to him.

“Nie Mingjue,” he introduces himself and Jiang Cheng wasn’t raised as rude as he always likes to pretend so he nods at Nie Mingjue.

“Jiang Cheng,” he gives back and Nie Mingjue makes a little ‘ah’ sound.

“You know Huaisang, right?” he asks then and catches Jiang Cheng off guard with that.

“You’re the da-ge he can’t shut up about?” he wants to know and Nie Mingjue laughs at that.

“Yes, I am,” he confirms and Jiang Cheng takes another look at Nie Mingjue.

Now that he knows what he’s looking for he can see the resemblance between him and Nie Huaisang, but this is still not what he expected Nie Mingjue to look like.

“Nice to meet you, then,” Jiang Cheng says, mostly to have something to say and his heart goes a little bit fluttery in his chest when Nie Mingjue smiles at him and Jiang Cheng catches sight of some dimples.

“Likewise,” he gives back and Jiang Cheng thinks surely this is it, but then Nie Mingjue simply doesn’t leave.

They make small talk at first, and then delve into deeper topics and Jiang Cheng has to admit that talking to Nie Mingjue—even with the horribly loud music making it hard sometimes—is really nice.

They keep at it right until Wei Wuxian throws himself over the back of the couch, his arms circling around Jiang Cheng’s neck and screaming something into his ear.

After that it’s pure chaos, with how Wei Wuxian seems to not only have made friends with the statue from before but also with a handful of other people, and before Jiang Cheng knows it, they are already on their way back to their apartment.

He’s not even sure if he got to say goodbye to Nie Mingjue or not.

~*~*~

“My da-ge wants your number,” is what Nie Huaisang greets Jiang Cheng with the next time they see each other.

“Hello to you, too,” Jiang Cheng gives back, without looking away from his book. “How are you, Huaisang?”

“Drop the act,” Nie Huaisang complaints and throws himself into Jiang Cheng’s lap. “We both know you have never greeted anyone in your entire life.”

“I just greeted you,” Jiang Cheng mildly gives back and then bites back a smile when Nie Huaisang heaves out a sigh.

“Fine, whatever. Can we get back to the topic of my da-ge wanting your number?” Nie Huaisang wants to know and Jiang Cheng finally closes his book.

“What does he want with my number?” Jiang Cheng shoots back and Nie Huaisang blinks at him.

“I would guess he wants to stay in contact? You did meet at the party last weekend, right? He said you talked for a while.”

“And I told him I’m not interested, so I fail to see what he wants with my number.”

“Jiang Cheng, sweetheart, no offense, but not everything is about sex,” Nie Huaisang patronizingly says as he pats Jiang Cheng’s cheek.

“Get off me,” Jiang Cheng complaints and pushes Nie Huaisang’s hand away. “I know that.”

“Ah, but you sometimes fail to understand,” Nie Huaisang gives back. “I know sexual people make it seem like everything is about sex, but it’s really not. I guess he enjoyed your talk and now wants to get to know you better,” Nie Huaisang says with a shrug and finally sits down in a more appropriate manner, that doesn’t mean he’s draped all over Jiang Cheng. “Sometimes two people can just be friends, you know.”

“Fine, whatever, I guess,” Jiang Cheng mumbles but he can’t help the little excited swoop of his stomach.

It had been nice, talking to Nie Mingjue.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng isn’t sure where he went wrong in his life to deserve this, but he falls in love with Nie Mingjue. Because of course he does.

But how could he not? Nie Mingjue is nice and caring and funny and strong, and he has opinions and is not afraid to stand behind them, but he’s also accepting and very open with his feelings.

Seriously, Jiang Cheng never stood a chance and he will forever curse his luck with love.

He doesn’t even get a few days alone to process the fact that he’s in love with one of his very few friends, because Nie Mingjue is somehow always there; either via phone or personally and Jiang Cheng really doesn’t know what to do with that.

Nie Mingjue likes to check in on him at least twice during a day—more if he knows that Jiang Cheng is being stressed or has exams coming up—and he drops by the apartment at least twice a week.

He claims it’s to make sure that Jiang Cheng is alright, that he’s eating healthy and sleeping well, but if anyone would ask Jiang Cheng, he’d say it’s to torment him, specifically.

It’s not helping his feelings in the slightest to see Nie Mingjue in their apartment or worse, their kitchen, preparing food for Jiang Cheng because he is under the impression that Jiang Cheng is not living healthily enough.

Jiang Cheng would like to kiss him for that, but also kick his ass for it.

It’s a very confusing time.

“Is Wei Wuxian with Wangji again?” Nie Mingjue asks as he settles down next to Jiang Cheng for their bi-weekly movie evening and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Of course he is. Is he ever anywhere else?” he gives back and still can’t believe that Lan Wangji is the brother of Nie Mingjue’s best friend.

It really is a small world.

“Not lately, no,” Nie Mingjue says with a small smile and a shrug. “I’m not complaining, though, it gives us more time alone,” he then casually says and Jiang Cheng freezes.

Nie Mingjue has done that a lot lately, saying things like that, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to deal with that at all.

And with how close they sit, with how their arms brush against each other, this time must be pretty obvious to Nie Mingjue as well, because he sighs before he turns to Jiang Cheng.

“When will you finally allow me to take you out on a date?” he asks him and Jiang Cheng’s stomach flips in excitement before it drops completely out.

All he can feel after that is anger, though.

“I already said I’m not going to sleep with you,” Jiang Cheng bites out and scoots away, to have a little bit more space, but Nie Mingjue shakes his head.

“I know that,” he gives back. “I was asking for a date, not sex.”

“Yeah, well, I’m never going to sleep with you, so you might as well stop trying now,” Jiang Cheng snaps and he wonders—not for the first time—when his sexuality will not be a problem for once.

“I know what being ace means,” Nie Mingjue says with a small roll of his eyes, completely taking Jiang Cheng off guard. “I know it means not today, or after our third date or on our anniversary. It means you’re not going to sleep with me when I propose, or when we finally get married, and we’re definitely never going to have sex when we adopt our first kid, because I want it to be a small one. We’ll be too exhausted to even think about that,” Nie Mingjue easily gives back and Jiang Cheng gapes at him.

“Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you?” he eventually manages to say, but he can’t deny that his heart is hammering away in his chest and that he’s probably completely red in the face.

“Well, the slow approach didn’t get me anywhere,” Nie Mingjue gives back and then simply continues to stare at Jiang Cheng, clearly waiting for an answer.

“How do you know about being ace?” Jiang Cheng finally asks, because he needs a little time to process the fact that Nie Mingjue not only wants to date him, but already has their entire life planned out, it seems.

“Huaisang gave me a whole lecture,” Nie Mingjue says, clearly fondly annoyed of his little brother. “He felt the need to explain my own sexuality to me, because he thought I was in denial. And you know him; once he has found a topic he likes, he gets invested. I think the lecture took three days and there was a test at the end. Can you even believe him,” Nie Mingjue finishes with a mutter and Jiang Cheng blinks.

“How would he think you’re in denial?” Jiang Cheng asks, because he remembers very clearly that Nie Mingjue dropped hints about being gay in their very first conversation during the party, and he fails to see how someone like that could have ever been in denial.

“It was a misunderstanding, actually,” Nie Mingjue says with a shrug. “I told him once that I kissed Xichen, but that we are just friends, and the only thing he took away from that was that I must clearly be in denial.”

“But you weren’t?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and he can’t help the slightly bitter sting to his heart at the thought that Nie Mingjue used to be in love with Lan Xichen.

The guy is beautiful, inside and out; Jiang Cheng can’t even begin to compare to that.

“Gods, no,” Nie Mingjue laughs. “He is my best friend. So when he fell in love and was fretting over his lack of experience with kissing I offered that he could practice on me. It was never anything more, and as far as I heard Meng Yao was very impressed.”

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng breathes out because that makes a lot of sense, but he could also see how Nie Huaisang got the wrong impression from what Nie Mingjue told him.

“I’ve known and accepted that I’m gay since middle school. And Nie Huaisang is my brother; there wasn’t actually much he could teach me still, because he’s not the only one who tends to get obsessed with a topic.”

“So you know what being asexual means,” Jiang Cheng slowly says and Nie Mingjue nods. “So you know it’s never going to happen. I’m not demi, and I’m not going to sleep with you to make you happy or anything.”

“That’s fine. I have a working hand and internet access. I’ve managed to make due until now, so it won’t be a problem.”

Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at Nie Mingjue because he cannot believe that it should be this easy, even though he can’t deny that he really, truly wants it to be this easy.

“What are you going to do if I say no to a date?” he wants to know.

“Then we’re going to sit at this very respectable distance and watch our movie, and I’ll never bring it up again,” Nie Mingjue instantly says and he seems honest about it, too.

“What if I say yes to a date?” Jiang Cheng wants to know next and Nie Mingjue smiles at him.

“Then I’m going to hug you for a very long time, before I tuck you in right under my arm as we watch our movie. I’m probably going to hold your hand during it, too,” Nie Mingjue says, completely shameless about it and Jiang Cheng frowns for real now.

“Why not kiss me?” he asks, because that would actually be something he wants and if he can’t get that he might jut say no out of spite.

“Because some ace people don’t like kissing. I don’t know what you like yet, so I’m going to go for a hug first,” Nie Mingjue tells him and Jiang Cheng flushes bright red again.

“You’re an idiot,” he hisses out, but before Nie Mingjue’s face can fall Jiang Cheng grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him close. “I’ve only wanted to kiss you and your stupid dimples since forever,” he then says, and Nie Mingjue doesn’t even have enough time to break out into a full smile before Jiang Cheng is kissing him.

“Mh, I see,” Nie Mingjue hums when they part and then he dives in for another kiss.

Not that Jiang Cheng is complaining about that.

“So a date?” Jiang Cheng breathlessly asks when they part that time, and Nie Mingjue brings his dimples out again.

Except this time, Jiang Cheng doesn’t have to hold back, so he leans in and kisses Nie Mingjue’s cheek.

“A date. A real one. Not what we’re doing here,” Nie Mingjue says with a nod and a very soft look in his eyes. “I’m going to take you out for dinner and bring you home like a real gentleman.”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at that, because Nie Mingjue is truly a ridiculous man, but not so secretly he’s pleased.

“I will hold you to that,” he tells Nie Mingjue and then snuggles right into Nie Mingjue’s side, because cuddles were on the table too, and Jiang Cheng is not about to miss out on that.

“Alright,” Nie Mingjue softly gives back and leans down to press a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head.

They start the movie, and Jiang Cheng’s heart goes all fluttery again when Nie Mingjue does reach out for his hand and tangles their fingers together.

“I want a private proposal and two kids,” Jiang Cheng mutters about halfway through the movie and he doesn’t have to see Nie Mingjue to know that he’s smiling. “And only close relatives and friends for the wedding. None of that part of the century nonsense.”

“We’ll get a boy and a girl,” Nie Mingjue agrees and strokes his thumb over Jiang Cheng’s ring finger. “And I’ll go down on one knee. And Wei Wuxian and Huaisang are not allowed to hold speeches at our wedding.”

Jiang Cheng laughs softly at that, because he likes the thought of it, even though he’s pretty sure no power on earth could stop those two from holding a speech.

But it would be a small price to pay for everything else and honestly, Jiang Cheng can’t wait for it all to happen.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #mingcheng #ace!jc #modern au #getting together #fluff #first kiss

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delicatewerewolfsoul · 4 years ago

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Full Circle - Han Jisung

–pairing: han jisung x reader, life savior seungmin, (popular boy hyunjin, felix and minho making an appearance)

–genre: fluff, idiots/best friends to lovers au,

–word count: 3,8 k

–synopsis: jisung had exactly three days to make you his, and he'll do everything he could to make it happen.

–for the dear skz, with love event by @districtninewriters make sure to check the works of the other writers!

Lilacs: when lilacs have a light purple color, they represent first love and new begginings

The bell rings once again after another boring class in the middle of a peaceful Wednesday but Jisung doesn’t move an inch from where he’s sitting, his hands supporting his head as his eyes closed, sleeping far more entertaining than any weird information the teacher shared with all of you. Wednesday’s were always hard for Jisung since he had three classes different than yours that day. He couldn’t concentrate at all, he had no energy to spend, and honestly he didn’t want to either. He found these classes useless after all, since he already knew what he’ll do after this ended, and no one of these was part of it. That day his ears seemed far more used to the loud sound of the bell that doesn’t move an inch.

He was shaken out of his slumber violently, in his opinion, after something hits the back of his head, only for it to be a ball of paper, thrown at him by his classmate Felix that sat right behind him.

“Hey bro, class finished a while ago, why are you still here?” Felix says confused because his usually enthusiastic, bright friend was suddenly sulking more than usual that fine Wednesday while looking at a notebook at his hands that was clearly too neat to be his, so he guessed it was yours.

“But it’s boring without y/n… They have a big assignment with their chemistry class and they spend most of their time with them… And I don’t want to cling to them and be annoying” he says propping his head on his arms as he was looking at his friend that was about to laugh, it really looked as if Jisung’s life depended on how close you were and what you were doing. He remembers when once he said y/n is my oxygen half jokingly and Minho was about to throw a book on his head of disgust making everyone laugh. Truth was, that he was in too deep and too hard, from as long as he remembers. From the moment you met, when you held his hand in primary school to pull him out of the mud hole he had fallen and then taken to his home, only to find out that your parents are friends so that meant that you would probably spend more time together. And from that moment you were attached to the hip, the beauty and the nuisance as he would say himself (even though you scolded him every time he called himself that), following you around.

“Still, let’s go outside okay? I’m sure the others are already outside. And you need fresh air, stand up lover boy” patting his friends back and going out with the sulking boy following behind. Felix was right after all, he needed to be out and if he acted like that, then his other friend would feel like they weren’t worthy to him and was equally as bad. He stepped outside of the school to the big green area where big tables were placed so students could study.

“Took you long enough, what happened?” says Minho as the two of them step closer to their usual table where all of you sit during your breaks studying or laughing around.

“Lover boy here was refusing to let his desk alone, and he slept during class too” Felix said as he took a seat across Minho. Honestly he just wanted to sleep the day away, this specific day was too tiring for him to handle… But the others would never know that.

“I think I know the reason” Minho says, looking at his left, his gaze falling at the center of the yard where the table you were sitting with your classmates were. Jisung understands where he’s looking and turns to look as well. And his eyes land on you as you talk to your classmates, probably planning something he guesses from the way you look at them. As expected from his y/n… Well, not his, but yeah. He smiles shyly at the thought, feeling his face heating up. He then sees you waving at him, with a smile on your face, probably feeling his eyes on you and he waves back smiling as well. And that’s when he sees a very familiar figure going closer to you.

Someone tall with his hands in his pockets comes behind, and stops behind you. Hwang Hyunjin? What would the most popular kid in school want with a person that was kind of on the nerdy side, like you? What he’s about to hear will get him very surprised.

“y/n, go on a date with me” says Hyunjin and the whole school goes silent.Jisung’s hand stays midair and it can be seen all around his face how much he was panicking at that exact moment. Jisung breaths in as he also waits for your answer, but as he pays attention more to your expressions he already knows what your answer will be. The slight bite of your lip, the way you played with your fingers all showed how you would actually say yes, he knew you too well. “Y-yes” you say silently and Hyunjin smiles. “Okay then! I’ll pick you up on Friday, at 7pm” he says and leaves as quickly as he came.

Jisung feels as if an arrow went through his chest. Why Hwang Hyunjin out of all people? He was so tall and pretty, he knew he wasn't a match to him. He couldn't just accept this though, he had to do something. He had to do something and he had to do it fast. There was a problem though, he definitely couldn't do it face to face, so he had to find another way. And then an idea comes to mind. He remembers the movie you two watched the other day. Letters. That was the plan. After school, when only the kids on duty would be there, he would tiptoe to your locker and silently, put the letter in it.

And that's what he did. After classes ended, he said goodbye to his dear friends and when the school seemed almost empty, he went close to your locker.

"What are you doing?" Jisung hears someone say behind him and with how nervous he is, he somehow manages to hit his head on the locker while trying to put the letter in it quickly, before turning around to see an unamused Seungmin looking at him with a book in his arm, probably headed towards the library. As expected from the class president, always being annoying and having to appear at the worst times ever. It's not that he didn't like him, it was just that… He shouldn't be there at this time.

"Hey Seungmin, I'm… Good, how are you?" he answers back, a forced smile on his face, as he already feels himself starting to sweat, trying to find a way to get rid of him. His plan was definitely not going the way he wanted to.

"That's y/n's locker right? And what's with that letter?" Seungmin asks even though he already knows what's happening. He wants to laugh at the boy in front of him but he contains himself, as he knows that Jisung might have a breakdown at the state he is currently at. "Let me help you. I'll make sure nothing dumb like this ever happens"

"How come you aren't taking Hyunjin's side?" Jisung says, a little amused by the offer.

"Honestly, Hyunjin might have the looks and the brains, but you have the heart so you win that one" says Seungmin without really thinking about it much, the answer obvious to him.

"I don't know if I should be happy or offended but anyways, thanks for the offer, I appreciate it" Jisung says and smiles at him. “Even if I don’t know how you even know I like them”

“Are you kidding me?” answers Seungmin stopping at his tracks. “You were painfully obvious, I’m really shocked how they didn’t notice that themselves. I’m shocked at how I didn’t even see you once drool, I swear you were about to when they…”

“Okay, enough! I got it, it was obvious, can we please stop this?” says Jisung scratching the back of his head. Was he actually that obvious? he bites his lip in thought. What if you actually noticed and didn’t do anything cause you didn’t actually want to be anything more than friends? He shakes his head to get these thoughts out of it. There’s no backing away now, not when he already had put a well thought letter into your locker.

"So… What are you going to do when they get the letter tomorrow?" Asks Seungmin, as they walk back in class, getting him out of his thoughts.

"I don't know… Faint?" Says Jisung and Seungmin would almost hit him, if he didn't have in mind his good reputation. "I didn't write much though, it will be more in the next letter".

"I'll talk to them then, and see what they think. And you just… Relax weirdo, you'll get caught that way".

The next day you arrive as normal at school, kinda early as always, as you loved walking in the morning breeze and of course there was no reason to run towards class when you take your time and enjoy the chilly mornings. You open your locker and something falls on the floor. You pick it up and you open it and proceed to read it:

Dear y/n,

you’re surprised aren’t you? I know this is kinda sudden and this was kinda urgent for my side as well. I would reach out to you sooner, orI would make a move spooner but it’s fair to say that I was a coward. But as the circumstances are right now, I have to move fast. Let’s say I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, I’ve always been looking out for you and taking care of you. I’ve tried too hard to get rid of the feelings for the sake of you, but it was too hard. A new letter will reach you soon, please anticipate it

–your secret admirer

A secret admirer? That was new for sure. And why now out of all times? As you go to crumble and throw away the letter, you feel a hand on your shoulder.

“I wouldn’t do this if I was you. This somehow seems important, don’t you want to know who this is from?” you turn around and see no other than Kim Seungmin, looking at you straight in the eyes.

“Seungmin? Were you reading this all this time? Why are you here? Do you know who this is from?” you say looking around to spot any abnormal activity around you. You miss the way Jisung turns to hide behind a big column on your right. He feels his knees giving out as he waits for Seungmin to return and finally tell him what’s happening.

After a few minutes he feels a hand on his shoulder and he would scream if he didn’t know who it was. He stands up and clears his throat as he turns to talk to his friend.

“What happened?” he says, looking at him with anticipation as they walk back in class. Seungmin laughs as he looks at him, he didn’t want to admit it, but he liked Jisung’s courage, it made him happy to see him finally take that step and do a favor to everyone and confess.

“It went good, they’re keeping the letter… And they also said they’ll do a little investigation whatever that means” says Seungmin getting in class. He notices Jisung isn’t next to him and turns around and notices the poor boy by the side of the class’ entrance, his hands on his hair, with a panicked look on his face. He runs to him to bring him back in his senses.

“You know what that means? They’ll call me. Tonight. To ask me what I think. What do I do Seungmin? I’ll screw everything up” Jisung yells, now grabbing Seungmin’s biceps and it would be wrong to say that Seungmin wasn’t scared by the look on Jisung’s face.

“You’ll act your normal self, that’s what you gotta do” says Seungmin and Jisung curses himself for even putting himself through all of this.

“What did you do with the second letter by the way?” asks Seungmin looking at him.

“Ohh, the letter? I put it somewhere safe that I know they'll open at home”.

And that’s what happens. As you open your school bag, and take out all of your books, you spot at the very bottom of your bag an envelope similar to the one you got in the morning. You gasp as you understand what it is, quickly picking up your phone, calling your most trusty friend. After a few seconds he picks it up.

“What do you want this late loser?” he says with his usual tone and you laugh hearing the smile that you know he has on his face.

“Nothing special, just… I’ve been getting those letters lately? I just got the second one and I wanted to read it with you” you say and hold your phone close to ear, with the help of your shoulder, as you try to open the letter.

Jisung gulps as he hears you say that. Just exactly as he expected, you call him to ask about this. He should have figured it out before earlier that this would happen, there wasn’t anyone that you trusted more than him after all.

“I’ll read it out now” you say and start reading out loud:

Dear y/n

Just as I told you, I’m back with another letter. I hope I don’t seem weird or anything by letting those letters for you. I really didn’t have any way to show you my feelings for you. Too shy to talk to you about this and a little too much of a coward to even face you. I hope these silly letters reach your heart and you give me a chance. You shine so much that my heart can’t take it, I’ve tried many times to voice my feelings, but I was without a voice, as if the world would end if I finally let them out. Stupid right? You’re probably wondering who this weirdo who is leaving letters like these for you is so I left a little hint for you at the end of the letter. Expect my last letter very soon.

–your secret admirer

Jisung feels his stomach turn as he hears you read the word he himself wrote for you. It actually sounded way more childish and cringy than he intended it to be, now that you were actually reading it out loud. He desperately wanted the world to open up and swallow him alive, that’s how much embarrassed he was.

“You’re hearing this, right? Me. Having a secret admirer, I wasn’t expecting something like this to happen” you laugh as you say this and Jisung feels himself getting sweaty, trying to control his nervous self and show how professional he was with his feelings (which was totally not but whatever).

“Ha ha, yeah! you’re right” he says super awkwardly and closes his eyes as he sighs, trying to calm himself, before continuing “You’ll just wait till the next letter, right?” he says and bites his lip as he waits for your answer.

“Of course, I have to find out who this is, they clearly went out of their way for me, I should know… Oh?”. You look inside the envelope again now and you spot a picture of a flower, a beautiful, full bloomed lilac bush. What’s that supposed to mean?

“What is it?” he says just as quickly, even if he already knows what it is.

“It’s a lilac bush, just like the one I have in my backyard, you know, the purple one?” you say and think about harder, but nothing comes to mind. “I don’t really understand, does that flower have any meaning?” you and Jisung sighs as he sees that you didn’t figure out everything.

“I have no clue, why don’t you search for it later?” he says and you think about it “will do, for sure”.

And the next day comes and that finds Jisung asking Seungmin what his great plan was for his final letter.

"So… What's the plan for the last letter, big brained boy?" says Jisung with a smile, as he nudges Seungmin's shoulder and the other boy makes a disgusted face at him but answers anyways.

"I've actually recruited a friend to drop the letter under their front door," says Seungmin and Jisung starts panicking again.

"Wait what? I can't trust a stranger with such an important thing, why not me and you?" says Jisung stubbornly and Seungmin just wants to hit his own head on the wall.

"And what if they are near the door, notice the letter and run out, only to see me or you close to it? Wouldn't that be suspicious?" he says and Jisung starts sulking, understanding what his friend is saying. "And Jeongin is very trustworthy, you have nothing to worry about"

You on the other end, are on edge. You keep out for your secret admirer around you. You check your purse all the time, your locker, your soundings at all times, hoping you'll spot something out of the ordinary and finally find out who that person was and end this painful journey that was giving you too much curiosity.

"Stop looking like that everyone around you, there's no way you'll find out something like that, and you're scaring everyone around you" Jisung says as he spots you at the end of school at your locker. "Still no sign of the admirer?" he says and you sigh.

"Yeahh, still no sign. I thought I would have already gotten one by now, I wonder if something is wrong" you say biting your lip.

"I bet there's nothing wrong, they may have a different plan in mind" he says and you both walk towards your homes. He's nervous, he hopes the friend Seungmin gave his letter will actually do a good job and make sure the letter will reach you safely… And in time. The date you had with Hyunjin was so close, if the letter didn't arrive in time, that would probably be a huge problem for Jisung.

You arrive at home in no time. You throw your bag at the ground and quickly take your jacket off, and then flop on the couch as you start thinking again about everything that's happening. From Hyunjin sudden confession to the also very sudden secret admirer. The timing seemed interesting, why now? Whoever was it, you wanted to congratulate that person for their courage, you know, you wouldn't be able to do something like that if you were in their place, since you were also keeping your feelings to yourself.

A sudden rustling to your door takes you out of your thoughts and as you look towards it, you spot a new envelope. Stand up quickly, grab your keys and your envelope, and run out of your apartment, only to see a person running away, but too far for you to reach it. You open hurriedly the envelope to read the letter:

Dear y/n

It's me again and today I'm finally putting an end to journey. So this is… Jisung. You're surprised right? I'm sorry for being such a coward and doing this this way. I just wanted you to know, even if it is late, even if in the end you don't choose me at the end that to me, it has always been you. You're probably wondering why now right? Well, the other day I saw how Hyunjin confessed to you and all I could think of was how stupid I was all this time. How I could be more daring and finally make you mine. And I always kept on pushing back "I'm glad I'm just their friend" was a thought I always had in my mind but the truth was that in the back of my mind I always wanted more. I wanted to hold you, be the one to take care of you for once, and not the other way around. I know it is selfish to do this now, but please forgive me, I didn't want to give you up, I wanted to fight for you, even if I was defeated in the end, it would all be worth it. You're also probably wondering why the flower. I remember the day we planted together that little bush because you wanted a more unique flower in your garden. Funnily enough this beautiful flower means first love, did you know that? You were mine actually. I still remember how I finally figured out my feelings for you while we watched that beautiful sunrise at that little hillside by my house, I remember my heart skipping a beat when I turned to you look at you and the purple and magenta colors illuminated at your face and knew at that time, that was in deep. And since that time my heart was colored a bright rose color whenever I thought of you. Every time I see that little bush bloom, I remember how much I wanted to give you these flowers and finally open my heart to you but I was always scared to do so and I deeply regret till this day. If you decide to actually choose me, I will be at the same hillside, waiting for you.

You're truly, Jisung

And you run… You run full speed towards that idiot friend of yours. You were almost in tears, how did you not notice how nervous he was? Or the flowers? You should have known… What Jisung didn't know was that you felt bad about it too. You felt bad for not taking the first step. For not getting to him first. What Jisung didn't know was that the reason you didn't date before was because of him. Why date when you had Han Jisung by your side? The reason you actually accepted Hyunjin's confession was so you could try and yourself to stop loving your best friend, feeling guilty for your feelings.

You reach the hill and here he is, his back turned to you. You run to him and back hug him, your left arm going around his waist.

“You big idiot, why go through all of this just so you can confess, all you needed to do is to just straight up come to me and I would choose you without any hesitation”

Jisung laughs as hears you, feeling relieved and a strange kind of joy he didn't think he'd feel. Your right hand comes around his waist as well, and that's where he spots it. A light purple lilac, from the same bush you two planted, years ago. He starts laughing at the flower and you laugh with him.

"Did you actually know that this means new beginnings as well?"

(a/n: I have loads of fun writing this, I hope people will enjoy it, don't forget to leave a review heh)

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novelconcepts · 4 years ago

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hey! i love your work - i've been reading every single one of your fics on ao3 since the blessed day i found you here <3 I know it might seem a bit out of character but what do you think jealousy would look like for Dani and Jamie?

It’s not jealousy, exactly. Jealousy is an ugly word, prompted by the belief that your person is, in fact, drifting--or that you are, in fact, not all there to hold their focus.

Which, admittedly, Dani isn’t. All there. Not all the time. But she still wouldn’t call this jealousy. Jealousy was Eddie’s arm tightening around her shoulders at the movie theater. Jealousy was her mother’s eyes darkening whenever a woman was too polite to her father as he ordered drinks. Jealousy was whatever kept Peter Quint locked to the Bly grounds, his fists tight around Rebecca Jessel’s desire to be better, even in death.

Jealousy is ugly. This is not jealousy. This is...

Casual amusement.

“So,” Jamie is saying, leaning against the counter and pointing to a brochure. “These are the most popular options for a wedding arrangement. You said you don’t want roses?”

“Tacky,” the bride says, her nose wrinkled. She’s probably in her early twenties, Dani gauges, and seems tailor-made for big, sprawling events like a wedding. Even the way she walks is orderly, her heels clacking, her body following a straight line from flower to counter and back as she speaks.

The bride isn’t really the person Dani has been watching, all things considered. The bride knows exactly where she is, what she wants, how she’d like them to fall in line for her special day.

It’s the other one. The maid of honor, who appears by all indication--jawline, hair color, similar smile--to be the bride’s sister. Maybe twenty-five, maybe a little older. Pretty, as these things go, though not exactly Dani’s type.

Dani doesn’t seem to be her type, either, from the way her eyes drag up Jamie’s frame and linger around her lips.

If Jamie has noticed any of this--the way this woman is quite literally attempting to phase through the counter to where Jamie is standing--she’s doing a remarkable job of not showing it. Her eyes sweep from bride to book and back again as she keeps up a steady stream of conversation primarily intended to keep the customer talking. Jamie’s method of finding exactly what a person is looking for is very similar to her method of living with Dani: coax them into talking about themselves, about their day, about what they like and don’t like, and piece the rest quietly together.

She’s so busy listening, she seems to miss altogether the way the maid of honor reaches across the counter and drifts a hand close to Jamie’s. “What would you pick, for your big day?”

Jamie smiles, and though her gaze does not cut to Dani, there’s something about the way she leans back and bumps Dani’s ankle with the heel of one boot that says it all. “Haven’t really thought about it, if I’m honest. Not really the white-wedding type.”

“What type are you?” the woman asks hopefully. Dani swallows a snort. Jamie only smiles.

“Quiet, I think. Private.”

The woman chews this over, letting her fingers sneak closer to Jamie’s hand. Jamie, politely, retrieves her own fingers before contact can be made, her attention sliding seamlessly back to the task at hand.

“So. You’re thinking how many smaller arrangements, for the tables?”

Dani is not watching the maid of honor out of true jealousy, so much as curious interest. The world is changing around them a little more every year, celebrities beginning to come out as politicians bat around the legality of love they don’t understand, and things are...improving. Cautiously, she suspects things will continue to improve, that there might one day be a time where she’ll be able to take Jamie’s hand in a public restaurant. Kiss Jamie in a movie theater. Love Jamie in some way resembling acceptable for the eyes of strangers.

Even then, even in a world where no one cares, she can't imagine the bravado of this woman. The sheer strength of will it takes for a strange woman to meet Jamie as she steps around the counter to show them out, her hand sliding up Jamie’s arm in a fashion not remotely professional. Her voice is soft as she leans in toward Jamie’s ear, her smile predatory.

Dani watches with curious interest, and if there is something small--a ghost of anger, a ghost of sudden sharp heat in her stomach like a fist tightening--it is nothing. It is irrelevant. Jamie is her own person, is completely welcome to whatever interactions come her way. Jamie, she reminds that part of her which sometimes feels nothing like her at all, loves her.

Loves you, that little part murmurs, but can’t have you. Not all of you. Not the way this woman gets her husband, forever, with a ring, and a party, and a white dress--

Jamie is stepping away from the woman, a slow roll back to match the tense smile on her lips. The woman’s face is darkening, something unpleasant in her gaze when it swings to find Dani. Jamie raises a hand, waves goodbye, allows them to round the corner before she flips the sign and latches the door.

“Unbelievable,” she mutters. “Did you see that?”

“The part where she was eating you alive for an hour, or the part where she tried to mount you right at the door?” Dani says dryly. That little kicking drumbeat in her chest is still pounding away, the squeezing fist rapping out a message she can’t ignore. Even if it were legal. Even if they all understood. Even then, you wouldn’t be able to do it.

“Don’t think her sister didn’t notice, either,” Jamie says, rumpling her hair with one hand. “Think she’ll have some explaining to do this evening--hey, you all right?”

“Sure,” Dani says, too brightly. Can’t have all of you, and doesn’t she deserve better? Doesn't she deserve someone who is always steady, always the same from dawn to dusk, who never looks into a mirror and sees--

“Dani.” Jamie’s hands are on her shoulders, Jamie’s face much closer than she realized. She starts, nearly stumbles, relieved when Jamie’s grip tightens just enough to keep her upright. “You look like you’ve seen a--”

“Just...” Dani shakes her head. How to put this? How to explain it? “Just...something about that didn’t...sit right, I guess.”

“No,” Jamie agrees, “I’d think not. Handsy, wasn’t she? But I hope you don’t think--hope I’ve never given you cause to worry--’cuz, Dani, honest to God, I’ve never--”

She looks so nervous, it’s almost like the years have rolled back to a sunny day in this very shop, to a single moonflower and Jamie’s hopeful smile. All at once, that grip of fear in her gut loosens, Dani’s breath returning to her in a long sweep.

“Jamie. Breathe.”

“No, I only--I know how it probably looked, but she was trying to give me her number, and I--”

“Told her she’d have to get in line?” Dani teases. Jamie looks about ready to swallow her own tongue.

“Told her I'd never met someone half as in love as me, and she should be lucky to find the same someday.”

“Oh my god, Jamie, she’s never going to come back.” She’s laughing, unable to stop herself. Jamie, not looking even the least bit ashamed, tucks her hands into her pockets and shrugs.

“I didn’t like the way you were looking at her, is all.”

“What, like I was going to escort her out in a fury and blame it on my low-key possession?”

“No.” Jamie is not smiling. There is an earnest quality to her face, even as she reaches up and touches Dani’s cheek. “Like she was making you sad. Haven’t seen you like that since we left England. Dani, honestly, you know I’d never want...anything but this. Ever.”

It isn’t a question. It is maybe the truest thing Jamie has ever said, and it pulls at Dani’s heart harder for that.

“I trust you,” she says quietly. “It wasn’t that. Wasn’t even her. Just...it’s enough? Even knowing we don’t know...even knowing there could only be--”

“It’s enough,” Jamie says, cupping her face in both hands, pressing her forehead to Dani’s with enough force to make them both laugh a little. “It’s always enough.”

She kisses Dani once, twice, and Dani lets herself linger in the moment. Lets herself forget about windows and strangers and tempting hands striving to coax Jamie off the path. None of it matters. None of it matters if Jamie is truly happy here, if Jamie is truly home here.

“I’m only saying,” she says when Jamie breaks, glances back over her shoulder, begins guiding Dani backwards toward the supply room. “You have options, for when I’m too old or too boring. What was she, the seventh one to try to slip you a phone number?”

Jamie groans. “What is it about me? Do I have emotionally available stamped on my forehead? This never used to happen in England.”

“You scowl much less now,” Dani points out, breathless when Jamie sweeps an arm around her waist and dips her toward the couch. “And you wear all those suspenders--”

“Could tell them,” Jamie teases, following her down. “Could greet each and every woman at the door with, ‘Welcome to The Leafling, purveyors of fine floral arrangements, my name is Jamie and this perfect specimen is the love of my--’”

She’s kissing Dani, all jokes forgotten, and Dani finds herself dreaming--not for the first time--of wild possibilities. Of a sunset wedding, of friends gathered close, of Jamie kissing her just like this in front of anyone who matters even a little bit. Of what it would be like, to look at Jamie and know how real they are, even in the moments Dani doesn’t feel real at all.

Doesn’t take a wedding for that, she thinks, as Jamie’s lips trail down flushed skin. Doesn’t take anything except for her...and me...and...

There’s a ring she’s been looking at. A simple thing, gold, heart-hands-crown. No one would know. No one would need to know. All that matters is...all that matters is...

She can’t have all of you, that horrible awareness of time mutters. Dani closes her eyes, grips tighter to Jamie as she vanishes into the kiss.

She gets everything that counts, she decides here and now. She gets it until there’s nothing left to give.

#fanfiction #ficlet #the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #dani x jamie #damie #little bit this prompt little bit one of jess'#I'm having a great time thanks for sending these in guys

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haifengg · 4 years ago

Text

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucas can’t really go without affection. He needs a smooch at least before he leaves the house or when he says goodbye on dates. He wants to be reminded that their S/O loves him and that he loves them. It’s as easy as this.

B = Before (What were they like when they had a crush?) Dude would try to impress. With bad jokes. With flexing his guns. He would always ask his crush if they want to come with him and the guys to do whatever. And if they agree he wouldn’t really be able to hide his excitement. It would light a spark of pure joy in his eyes. It would be very obvious really.

C = Confession (What was their confession like?) Regardless of his looks and height Lucas still is a very childish man and he’s not that old either. I would honestly go that far and say that during his life he wasn’t the one confessing often. He usually got confessed to. So when it is actually his turn he would probably get all shy around his crush and he maybe asked Kun for advice as well on how to tell them and what to say since he is not the very best with words.

D = Date (What was the first official date they went on?) I am guessing something cheesy. Lucas may or may not be a romantic person but being all nervous about fulfilling expectations and doing a solid job he would take their S/O out to go an amusement park. He is a child really and his sometimes subtle playfulness is probably what attracts his S/O to him as well.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Please don’t come for me on this one but I recon he would choose a text. As I mentioned in section C = Confession I imagine him being this popular kid in school everyone had a crush on at least once a week. (We’ve all seen the pics he’s adorable.) That being said he maybe got too used to dumping people interested in him. I won’t say it is the same with his S/O as it was with high school sweethearts but he might just fall back into old patterns due to convenience. Breaking up would still hurt him and still be difficult.

F = Fights (What would fights look like? What are things that upset them?) Honestly: Fights with Lucas would be a pain mainly because he doesn’t see where he’s wrong or what the issue exactly is. He is a very loyal person once fully committed but maybe not the most understanding one.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) His emotional way is very gentle. His physical way in terms of hugs and holding hands is too. Simple mind - Simple showings off affection other things we don’t discuss here it is SWF, please

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Just like Johnny his arms are insanely long and wrapping them tightly around his S/O is just way to nice to not do it constantly.

I = Intimacy (What is their favorite form of intimacy? Do they have problems with it?) He knows why he’s in SM. He got casted off the streets for his looks. He also really radiates the vibes of only being there for the fun and the people only. Lucas is very confident in the way he looks and he is aware of how many thousand people find him insanely attractive. I am pretty sure there are close to no problems when it comes to intimacy but that is something very personal because we know that everyone has at least one issue with themselves which we sometimes could never tell.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) He gets jealous. Not much but he does in general. I am not sure how exactly that would display or how he would show it but overall: Yes he does.

K = Kisses (Are they a good kisser? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) I hope he is. Okay no honestly, hear me out lmao. Lucas ... is either very excellent at kissing or he isn’t. I just look at him and I really hope he is because that would be so grate and elevate him one step closer to being the complete package. He meets the height requirements. He has the hands to hold his S/O. He surely has the lips as well. Which is also where they like to kiss/be kissed the most.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Lucas is the perfect personality type for getting along well with kids. He is goofy enough to play around with them and fun and fool but he is also calm enough to not out-child them and keep an eye on them. He is guiding their playfulness in a way only a few people can.

M = Messages (How often do they text his S/O?) He texts them A LOT when he’s bored. During practice or some random meeting he would get distracted by his phone and text them about how bored he is. Also he would often take pictures or snaps of stupid little things he wants to show them but they’re not around. Speaking of SnapChat: Filters.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights out in clubs are hot and fun. Nights out in bars (if they are dates) are hot. Nights out in movie theatre would be so much fun. He would totally get this slushies that turn your tongue in different Colors but would also hold his S/O during scary parts of the movie even though he’s scared himself. Acting all tough

O = Opinion (Would they ask for their S/O’s opinion a lot? How important is it in terms of decisions?) He would ask for their opinion but mainly because he thinks he has to or that they would want to be ask. If it’s about his personal matters. When it comes to mutual decisions it’s different because well of course he asks for his S/O opinion. What they say matters to him and he wants both of them to be comfortable. So when they say that sofa is ugly - it’s ugly.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Getting on his nerves is quite hard I assume. He probably would be the one getting on his S/O’s nerves (most of the time by accident tho.) If it’s something about them that actually bothers him he will be patient and ask them to maybe change that behaviour for a long time before actually admitting how much it is bothering him and eventually raising his voice.

Q = Quizzes (How does a bar trivia night teamed up with them look like?) A complete mess. Lucas once admitted he is not the smartest one and I adore people who are aware of that and own it in their own way. He would still try his best to not let his S/O and maybe other teammates down. BUT he is still an important part of the team: The one who chugs everything for the sake of the cause. IDK I just see him being able to drink a lot. He radiates this frat boy energy help

R = Remember (How much do they remember about their S/O or their relaitonship in general?) Lucas does his best but he is forgetting a lot. He writes it down in his phone. For example there could be a list for his S/O's family member’s birthdays and all their important anniversaries. He may still forget them tho. When it comes to memory Lucas knows it’s not his forté but he is trying hard.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He is maybe one of the most protective boyfriends you will find in whole NCT. He shields his S/O from wind or rain, he corners them in crowded subways. He flags and gets in cabs first. He will shove between his S/O and other guys dancing at clubs casually so they don’t notice. He will tell people to fo k off if they are obviously bothering his S/O. He does it all.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) He might be sloppy with everyday chores but he will rather often take his S/O on spontaneous coffee dates or bring home take out aka steal something from the dorm Kun cooked.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a S/O?) What makes Lucas unique as a S/O is definitely his awareness of his ... stupidity? Now I can see people coming for me for saying this but he once said he is not very smart and he is probably correct about that. His abilities lay more in the practical and emotional/empathic area. So what makes him special is is ability to pull his S/O’s guard down. If they come home from work super stressed he will put their mind at ease by simply talking to them about not so heavy or challenging topic. He will be their save heaven. A place where they don’t need to pretend or to impress. Lucas loves his S/O 190% for their character or quirks and maybe even for their intellect as well but he doesn’t compete with it and is real about himself.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) SO. MUHC. He has sloppy days tho but they will mostly never catch him with greasy hair or anything. And also he is in shape and plans to stay that way.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their S/O?) He would. If he is not with them for a long time he can feel how he is losing his inner center or balance. Lucas would be fine on his own but honestly exactly just fine.

X = X-Ray (How transparent are they?) Lucas is an open book. He can’t hide anything and he is so easy to fool on like April 1st or some prank they want to play on him. If he’s feeling down they’ll see it. If he’s happy they’ll know it. if he truly loves them it will be on the local news.

Y = Yuck (Everyone has flaws. What is theirs?) Bruh okay. Well. He leaves his underwear everywhere. Or his socks. and he leaves the toilet seat up.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Being asleep he grabs everything and pulls it in close. There is no escape. And I feel like he will wander towards the mid of the bed so if their S/O is avoiding being hold custody they will have no where to go but the sofa or wake him up.

Gif is not mine

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vs-redemption · 4 years ago

Note

Ahhh I just discovered your blog and I love it so much! Sorry to be angsty right off the bat, but can I request an Aizawa x reader where he has to assure them that the reader's interests have value or something along the lines? I get shut down so often when I accidentally gush about stuff I find cool (ladybugs) so I'm unfortunately more reserved now but yeah :)

From Cindy: It is now two hours past my usual bedtime and I don’t think I’m going to make it much longer. Before I sleep though, I am posting this as promised. I did reread it a couple times, but my tired brain isn’t up to full capacity. I hope it’s okay. Also, please don’t let people make you feel bad about the things you enjoy. Seriously, I hate when people do that. There’s enough negativity in the word without the good stuff being taken away on top of that. As long as you aren’t hurting anyone else, like what you like and never be ashamed of it! ♥

Ladybugs Aizawa x Reader

Everyone has those certain things they avoid revealing about themselves at the beginning of a relationship, romantic or otherwise, for fear of scaring the other person away. In some extreme cases, people might want to keep those parts of themselves hidden forever. For you, it was a particular hobby of yours being revealed too soon that made you a little cautious when meeting new people. You had a ready list of suitable answers stored in your brain for the inevitable moment someone asked you about your interests. It wasn’t like you were into something taboo or anything like that. It’s just that you’d been on the receiving end of enough judgmental looks to know it was better to keep that particular information to yourself.

When you first started to get to know Aizawa, you’d stuck to topics you knew he’d be able to relate to like music, movies, and books. It was easy enough to find common ground that way and you wouldn’t have to worry about him thinking you were some kind of weirdo. This strategy worked well for you and it wasn’t long before the amazing man was asking to be your boyfriend. Things between the two of you were really great, and on the random day when he called you up and asked if you wanted to get some ice cream and take a walk in the park, your secret pastime was the furthest thing from your mind. You were just looking forward to having a fun date with the guy you were slowly falling in love with.

“The weather is so nice today!” You sigh happily, walking hand in hand with Aizawa through the park he’d taken you to.

“Yeah, it’s nice,” he tilts his head toward you with a content smile, “I got lucky having today off.”

“You really do work way too hard, Shota,” you tell him seriously. “Between your classes and hero work it’s a wonder you have any free time at all.” He lets out a laugh and nods his head in agreement as a planter full of flowers on the side of the path you were walking on catches your eye. Aizawa notices the shift in your attention and slows down a little so you both could admire them.

“They plant new flowers in this park every couple months,” He mentions offhandedly. “It’s one of the reasons I enjoy coming here. Do you know what kind they are?”

“Geraniums,” you answer automatically as your eyes scan over the plant, a smile growing across your face as you spot a ladybug crawling over one of the leaves. You let go of Aizawa’s hand so you could crouch down and reach out to invite the insect into your palm. “Ladybugs are attracted to plants like this because there are plenty of smaller pests for them to feed on.” You turn to look over your shoulder at him as the ladybug crawls over your fingers. “Did you know they can play dead like possums do?”

Aizawa raises his eyebrows and before he has a chance to respond you realize what you’d said. You place the ladybug back onto the plant and stand up quickly, taking his hand into yours again and offering to continue your walk. Your boyfriend eyes you curiously as you lead him forward. Embarrassment washes over you and you internally berate yourself for being awkward. You try to go back to eating your ice cream normally, hoping to move past the moment quickly.

“I actually didn’t know that,” he replies after a pause. “I’m guessing they do that as a way to avoid getting eaten by predators?”

“Yeah,” you simply nod, knowing you could probably give an entire lecture on the topic but the thought of boring him to death held you back.

“That’s interesting,” Aizawa continues to watch you for a moment. “Are you really into gardening or something? You looked pretty excited for a minute. We can go back over there if you want.”

“No, it’s fine,” You assure him with a smile. “I just… think ladybugs are kind of cool, but I know that’s a bit weird so…”

“I don’t think that’s weird,” Aizawa rubs his thumb over your knuckles.

“Maybe,” you say after a small glance up at him. “Still, I’ve been told that it’s annoying when I go off on tangents and I don’t want to bother you.”

“Hey,” Aizawa stops walking and gives you a serious look. “You’re allowed to talk about the things that make you happy, especially around me.” He lets out a laugh of embarrassment of his own while giving your hand a squeeze. “You’ve never met any of my students but you let me rant about them to you all the time. Is that annoying to you?”

“No! Of course not!” You assure him, a smile blooming on your face. “It’s nice that you’re so passionate about your job and I like seeing the joy on your face when you talk about them.” Aizawa returns your smile and nudges your arm playfully.

“I feel the same way about you,” he confesses. “I want to know all about the things you love. If something is important to you, it’s important to me. And if it brings a smile to your face, that’s even better.” You both continue on your walk as Aizawa hums thoughtfully. “And honestly, nobody should judge you or make you feel like you’re not allowed to talk about things that interest you anyway. Your hobbies make you who you are and if everyone liked the same stuff, life would be extremely boring.”

“Thanks Shota.” You could tell he was being genuine by the look on his face, and it felt nice to have a bit of validation. “It means a lot to hear you say that.”

“I’m not just saying it,” He assures you, “I truly mean it. And unfortunately, there are always going to be people who try to make you feel bad for being happy, but it’s usually because they’re unhappy themselves. It’s easier said than done, but we have to try not to let people like that get us down.” Aizawa leans in to press a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Just remember that you can always come to me to rant and rave about whatever you’d like.” The pep talk was short and sweet, but his words did give you a little more confidence. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to be a bit more open about your unique interests in the future.

“So,” Aizawa speaks up again a moment later, “when did you start getting into ladybugs?” You smile at his question, hesitating for just a second before launching into the full story.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #cindy's writing #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa

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aiden21 · 4 years ago

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Video Games. Spinner x gn!Reader

Word count: 3.5k+

Slow days were a common occurrence for the League. Flashy, grand missions didn’t come by easily and most of the time the bar was empty except for Kurogiri. Most members of the League had homes—or at least places where they could sleep—and so, when Shigaraki dismissed everyone, most people just up and left the place. You were not one of those people.

Having lived under a bridge before joining the team of villains, the bar was the only place you truly had. Your possessions consisted of the clothes on your back and the small bed in one of the rooms upstairs, and that was it. You were thankful, always had been, that Shigaraki had been gracious enough to give you a place to stay, but that didn’t mean you didn’t get bored all by your lonesome from time to time.

You sighed, sinking deeper into the couch. The bar was deserted, Kurogiri having left with Shigaraki to meet with some person of interest, and the silence was pressing down upon you like a weighted blanket. You stared at the door longingly, putting all your mental strength into willing someone to open the door and join you. But if the past hour after returning from the store had taught you anything, your mental powers were absolute shit, and you were doomed to spend the rest of the day by yourself.

You knew a few people had some things strewn around the place, but nothing had truly caught your eye. No one read books that you found interesting, no one was childish enough to leave a board game lying around, and you valued your life enough to know that using the small handheld PSP that belonged to Shigaraki was out of bounds. You changed the channel on the TV once more, huffing in annoyance. God, you were so bored.

You glanced over at the clock on the wall, grunting when you realized it was only 4 in the afternoon.

“Screw it, I’m taking a nap.” You finally told yourself, shutting off the TV and getting up from the couch. You weren’t tired or sleepy, not even a little, but you figured that trying to rest a little was your best option at the moment. You dragged your feet up the stairs, already wrapping your mind around the fact that today would just be a very slow day and cursing yourself for not having a phone or a laptop or something to keep you entertained. But alas, you mourned as you reached for the doorknob of your room, you had no money of your own and you knew nothing about using technology in general.

“Goddammit!”

You stopped, your hand outstretched still. The voice had come from the end of the hallway and you were sure you weren’t imagining it. Was it a voice you recognized? Oh, who cares, you told yourself. You’d take a police officer at this point. You walked all the way to the end of the hall and knocked on the door to the common room the guys sometimes hung out in, fully expecting to get no answer, since the room was usually locked when Shigaraki was out; he valued his game consoles and trusted almost no one with them. Keyword here being almost.

The muffled noise of, well, something, stopped and you heard a hesitant ‘Yes?’. You cracked open the door, narrowing your eyes at the darkness and artificial lights that met you.

There, in the dark and with a game controller in his hand, was Spinner.

“Oh. Hi.” He said awkwardly, his face illuminated only by the glow of the TV in front of him.

“Hi,” You called back, glancing around the room but finding no other forms laying on the couches and chairs that adorned the game room. “I thought I was the only one here.”

“M-me too.” Spinner admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

There was a brief silence, Spinner not unpausing his game and you not quite coming inside the room. You two had never found much common ground to really sit down and talk, even though you both, unknowingly, wished you were closer.

“So… What’cha doing?” You asked, leaning against the door frame.

“I’m… playing video games.” Why did that sound so much like a question?

“What are you playing?”

“Grand Theft Auto.” He said, the name meaning absolutely nothing to you. You blinked once and Spinner sighed in defeat, his shoulders dropping. “It’s a... crime game, I guess.”

It was no big secret that Spinner was a massive game fan, a passion he only shared with Shigaraki. They’d both attempted to, sometimes, engage the other members of the League in conversation about their games (Spinner much more often than Shigaraki) but no one really understood a word of what they were saying. Toga said they weren’t cute, Dabi said they were boring, Magne always had better things to do, and Compress couldn’t use a computer to save his life. Still, Shigaraki loved games and movies and all that jazz, and thus one of the rooms on the second floor of the bar had been deemed the ‘game room’, furnished with comfortable seats, a massive TV, and various gaming consoles that anyone could use if Shigaraki was present, even if no one ever did. No one other than Spinner, Shigaraki’s only trusted teammate that had his own key to the room.

Because yes, villains can also have hobbies, hang out, and also share their gaming stuff with their friends. Or coworkers. Or whatever the League was to one another at any given time.

You hummed, balancing back and forth on your feet. You had no idea what the game was or how it was played, having never played a video game once in your entire life, something that Spinner didn’t actually know. He just believed you found them boring. He looked almost defeated, the way he always did when he asked one of the others if they wanted to play with him before getting rejected, and you hesitated at the door.

“...Can I stay here and watch you?” You asked in a soft tone, your expression hesitant.

It would probably be like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles, but it seemed like a better idea than just locking yourself in your room and staring at the wall for hours.

Spinner blinked once, twice, a bunch of times, his eyebrows going higher and higher up his forehead with each passing second. He fumbled around in his seat, mouth opening and closing, before abruptly speaking in a high voice.

“Sure! I mean it’s a room for everyone, right? Y-you don’t need to ask me or anything. I can go if you-”

You giggled, making his eyes go even wider, “It’s fine. I’m actually kinda curious about this whole ‘video game’ thing.”

You stepped into the room. The couch was big enough for four people to sit side by side comfortably, and you sat down around the middle, a polite distance away from Spinner. He was tightly pressed against the armrest, his once crossed leg now stiffly placed in front of him. You settled down and grabbed a cushion, hugging it to your chest.

It took a few silent seconds, but Spinner eventually unpaused the game. You blinked, your eyes following the tiny man in the middle of the screen as he walked around some unknown city, a few other things popping up on the screen.

“What’s that?” You asked, pointing at one corner of the screen. Spinner followed your finger, looking both amazed and scared.

“My money and health.”

“And that?”

“The map. So I don’t get lost, know where my missions are.”

“Do you have a mission right now?”

“Not right now. It’s an open-world game and you can pretty much choose the pacing of the story and such and…” He stopped himself, surely realizing that he’d already lost you. He cleared his throat and then, slowly, “We can do whatever we want, basically.”

“Anything?”

“Yeah.”

You looked at the screen, watching as the little avatar ran along the sidewalk, people and vehicles all around him. You eventually nodded towards the screen.

“Can you steal that car?”

“Which one?” Spinner chuckled a little, raising a brow.

“That red one, the one at the traffic light.”

Spinner nodded, his eyes far more serious than the situation called for. His avatar approached the vehicle and then opened the door, promptly throwing the driver out onto the street and easily taking the car. You laughed a little as Spinner drove away, curses from the car’s owner growing fainter as he made his escape.

“You fiend,” you teased, earning a proper laugh out of the mutant. “That was way too easy, though!”

“Well, then give me a challenge.” Spinner said, giving you a glance and a small smile.

“Steal a plane.” You said confidently, but Spinner scoffed.

“You’re thinking too small.” He said, relaxing back into his seat. You realized for the first time that he had none of his usual gear on, only a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt, his hair pulled back in a very messy ponytail. You rarely saw him like this, chill and confident and secure and you found yourself really liking the way all of those things looked on the usually shy mutant.

You spent the next hour watching as Spinner attempted (and usually succeeded) whatever idiotic, ridiculous idea you could conjure up. You had him running from one side of the map to the other, stealing some things, blowing up a few others, spawning things in places where they didn’t belong, and generally just causing absolute chaos wherever he went.

You laughed like an idiot as you watched him play, your dorky laugh making Spinner laugh in turn. You didn’t know it, but every time you had a fit of laughter, his chest would swell with happiness and so he kept the antics coming one after the other, each stunt dumber and flashier than the last.

You were honestly enamored with just how many absurd things you could get away with in the game, and so your eyes stayed mostly on the screen. You pointed and things and made up dumb scenarios for Spinner to somehow accomplish, your smile only fading when you focused on trying to understand what he was doing at any given moment. Spinner’s eyes though? He kept glancing your way, thankful that he was familiar enough with the game to be able to look at you for a second or two without dying.

He was currently driving, having just explained to you how cheat codes worked, an explanation that you listened to with rapt attention even if you didn’t get all of the things he told you. He was excited and you were giddy with laughter and the both of you were honestly having a great time together. You settled back into the comfy couch with a dumb smile on your face, a small giggle escaping your lips.

Spinner paused the game, stretching his arms in a wide arch.

“I’m gonna go get some water, you want anything?” He asked you, already getting up from the couch.

“Water is fine,” You responded, smiling appreciatively up at him. He smiled back, suddenly unable to keep eye contact. He half-ran out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You still had the small, soft cushion in between your arms and you started running your fingers through its fluffy, black surface. This cushion had been brought home by Toga after one of her shopping sprees with Magne. It was soft and warm and you and Toga always fought over the damned thing on the rare occasions that you two watched movies together in the game room.

After a minute you stretched like a cat, groaning and readjusting your position on the couch to be more comfortable. Unknowingly, you’d scooted closer and closer to where Spinner had been sitting, and as soon as you noticed, you blushed, thankful that he wasn’t in the room at the moment.

Suddenly very aware of your surroundings, a light sense of anxiety came over you and you grabbed the closest thing you had in an attempt to distract yourself. Sure enough, it was the game controller. It was still a little warm, something that made you blush a tad more, and you turned it in your hands to examine it.

Truly inexperienced when it came to these kinds of things, you watched the object in your hands as if it was an ancient artifact of unknown origin and purpose. The buttons were marked with symbols and there was a light shining in the middle. You gave one of the triggers a try, liking the small clicking that came from it, and then, feeling braver, you pressed one of the buttons at random.

The game immediately unpaused, the scene going right back to where Spinner had left it before he left. You cursed, eyes wide in panic, as you attempted to pause the game again. But you couldn’t manage, and you were left with no other choice‪‬󠀥 than to try and control the car in the game. It was just a game, there was no need to act as if the world was ending, but the car was in the middle of the highway and you honestly didn’t want to look as useless as you felt in front of Spinner.

You guessed, correctly, that the little nub on the left of the controller steered the car, but you weren’t able to figure out how to make the damn vehicle accelerate for the life of you. The car behind yours crashed into your car and you cursed louder, feeling like a total idiot. Then you pressed who knows what and the little man on the game got out of the car and you wanted to throw the controller at the screen. Well, you told yourself, at least you could easily figure out how to walk in the game. This wasn’t that embarrassing a scene, in all honesty. Your confidence lasted all of three seconds before you were brutally reminded that the character had gotten off the car in the middle of a concurred highway, a semi plowing into the little avatar and sending his body flying through the air and into the other side of the road.

The image on the screen slowed and desaturated, the word ‘wasted’ flashing on the screen as, in the background, your character was run over by yet another car. The text was still on the screen when Spinner walked back through the door, his eyes immediately landing on your grand failure.

“What… happened?” He asked carefully, hyper-aware of your panicked expression. He placed two glasses of water down on the coffee table but didn’t sit down just yet.

You pointed at the controller as if the thing had committed murder, your voice getting higher and louder by the word.

“I don’t know! I pressed something and the game started and I couldn’t pause it and then the little guy thought it was a great idea to walk into traffic and he died and-”

Spinner snorted. He couldn’t help it, though he did have the decency to wave his hands in front of himself apologetically when you glared at him.

“Don’t laugh at me! I’ve never played a game before!”

“You never played one of these when you were a kid?” He asked, sitting on the armrest of the couch. He, too, had noticed how much closer to his spot you had gotten and he wasn’t quite confident enough to just sit down by your side.

You paused for a moment, bitterly self-conscious despite not wanting to be. You tapped at the controller with a fingernail, suddenly much quieter than before.

“I’ve… never played a video game before. Like, ever.”

Spinner’s eyes widened a bit, but it was soon replaced by a frown at your change in mood.

“Nothing?”

“We were too poor to afford anything when I was little, and then my parents kicked me out and well… I’ve never really had the chance.” You admitted, your eyes low. You tried not to bring up much about your past with the rest of the League, in part because you were a bit ashamed and in part because you knew most of them had had way worse childhoods than you. You honestly just didn’t like complaining, not now that you had so much to be thankful for. Those things were in the past, after all, and there was no point in being sad anymore, right?

You offered Spinner the controller once more, attempting to shake off your feelings to not ruin the mood. He took the controller from your hands but he didn’t sit back down, instead walking over to the TV. He paused the game again and shut off the PlayStation. You immediately started telling him that it was okay, that you were sorry, but you shut up when he threw a different, much smaller controller at you. The screen was only dark for a few moments before a different console was turned on and Spinner took his seat by your side with only a light blush dusting the skin under his scales.

“Let’s try something we can both play, shall we?” He asked you, already pressing around at the blue controller in his hand.

“You sure? You were having fun with the other game.” You pointed out, a weird feeling growing in your chest at the thought that you’d ruined Spinner’s fun. He chuckled, swallowed, and then looked at you for the briefest of moments.

“Well, I mean, it’s a good game, but… I was having fun with you, not the game, in particular, so yeah...” The last words were said in an embarrassed mumble and the feeling in your chest fell down into your stomach, turning warm and fuzzy. You smiled widely, settling down on the couch and crossing your legs. Your knee was resting on Spinner’s leg and, while you both noticed, neither of you said anything.

“What’s this one about?”

“You’ll see.”

--------------------------------------

Shigaraki and Kurogiri warped back inside the bar, the young leader of the League of Villains wanting nothing more than to lock himself inside his room, play some games, and then fall asleep. He turned towards the stairs but was met with an… odd sight if you will. Toga and Magne were standing at the foot of the stairs, both of them giggling like little girls.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, frowning as both women shushed him without any regard for who he was. He cursed under his breath and approached them.

“What?” He said, not as loud as before, but the answer presented itself before either woman could say anything.

From some room upstairs, he heard a clear scream of joy, followed by voices and laughter. He narrowed his eyes, glancing over at the two blushing morons at his side.

“We heard them when we got here ten minutes ago.” Toga giggled, her face more flushed than usual.

“Someone’s having a lot of fun up there~” Magne added, no attempt at hiding the implications of her words. Another high-pitched scream came from above and both women squealed.

Shigaraki moved a lot faster than he had in a while. He jumped the steps two at a time, following the loud noises of ecstasy and pointedly ignoring how Toga and Magne cursed him in your name, not quite managing to stop him. He flew down the hall like a demon out of hell, throwing open the door to the game room so hard that it bounced off the wall and left a small dent where the doorknob collided against the plaster. His red eyes were glowing with rage, his hands more than ready to turn whoever was fooling around in there into dust, but the scene that greeted him wasn’t quite the one he expected.

You were jumping on the couch, your arms raised in victory and a Switch controller in your hand. Spinner was sitting next to you, laughing carelessly and looking at you as if you were pure sunshine. On the screen, Yoshi had just won his first star in Super Mario Party.

“Did you see that!?” You asked Spinner, laughing as the mutant nodded, “I just got a star!”

“What the…” Shigaraki said, his stance deflating immediately. You turned towards him, a face-splitting grin adorning your face.

“Oh! Hi, Shigaraki! We’re playing Mario Party!” You pointed out, rather obviously. When Shigaraki didn’t react, you shyly got off the couch, assuming that he was angry at your outburst of energy. Behind him, Toga and Magne peeked into the room and started giggling like idiots.

“You wanna join? We’re almost done with this round.” You offered hopefully, plopping back in your place right next to Spinner, adding an inch of air between you two now that there were other people in the room. Likewise, Spinner removed the arm he’d had on the back of the couch, one that had been rather close to wrapping around your shoulders more than once.

“I wanna play!” Toga said cheerfully, running past Shigaraki and landing on her favorite beanbag, though not before reclaiming her cushion from your hands.

“Oh, me too! I wanna be Rosalina!” Magne said, choosing one of the reclining chairs near the back of the room, giving Toga a knowing look as they both left the couch only for you and Spinner.

“I call Princess Peach!” Toga added childishly, which made you laugh.

Shigaraki sighed like a man with no future, turned around, and promptly locked himself in his room for the remainder of the evening.

------------------------

Thanks for reading! If you liked it, consider supporting me on ko-fi. I do writing commissions and all that jazz!

#bnha x reader #bnha #boku no hero x reader #spinner #shuichi iguchi #league of villains #fanfic #drabble #x reader #just pure fluff #nice things #writing #fanfiction #spinner x reader #commission #illustrators on tumblr

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whentheynameyoujoy · 4 years ago

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So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

youtube

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.

#atla #atla movie #zutara #anti bryke #dev patel #the last airbender #anti-kataang

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lahyene · 4 years ago

Text

A Hollywood Love Story.

Pairing: young!chris evans x reader

Summary: Making it in Hollywood is hard, and when you run into the up and coming Chris Evans at a party, you can’t help but be a little intrigued by the frat boy vibes he practically emanates. You never knew you’d actually fall in love with him while both of you climb the ladder to the top.

Themes: romance, fluff, alcohol, smoking

Word count: 2208

You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, your crop top barely covering your breasts and your shorts practically the size of underwear. As a girl must dress if she’s trying to make it big in Hollywood, being nothing but an Instagram model. Cigarette in your mouth, you take a drag and let the smoke blow out rather close to the face of the man who’s desperately trying to chat you up right now, but you couldn’t care less as your eyes wander the scene of this house party. You’re here to network, to find connections. If you can’t make this work, you’re going to have to move back home and that’s the last thing you want after being exposed to so much freedom.

You saw him the second you walked into this party. He hasn’t quite made it big yet, but he’s probably the most famous one here. Chris Evans. He’s appeared in a few movies, nothing blockbuster, though he’s very well known for his incredibly handsome features and well defined body. You’re sure the two of you have more in common than one would think, being seen more so for your appearance than your personality or talent. People assume you to be trashy and shallow, but they don’t realize that in this world, you have to come off that way in the beginning. No one’s going to wait around to get to know you or the level of depth you have. It’s all about your looks until you finally make it.

When you last saw him, he was on the couch with a girl on either side of him, taking turns making out with each. You’ve heard he’s quite the party boy, dabbling in drugs and alcohol, and practically drowning in female companionship. You thought he was dating Jessica Biel, but seeing his tongue shoved down this blonde’s throat as his hand snakes up the thigh of the brunette, you figure they’re not as committed or exclusive as they let on.

Quite honestly, you’re not interested in him in terms of networking. He isn’t going to do you any favors, he’s probably in a phase where he needs to look out for himself before anyone else. And you completely understand. It’s what Hollywood does to you-- makes you selfish, desperate, twisted. You know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but damn, is it a long tunnel.

You’ve barely even realized the male in front of you is still talking. You’re about to shut him down when you see Chris enter the kitchen, without his little playthings, surprisingly enough. The two of you make eye contact. You don’t even have to try; you can already tell he’s intrigued. You aren’t sure whether that’s flattering or concerning. He seems like he’d be intrigued by a hobo, as long as said hobo were to have a vagina. He walks over to you with a gait of confidence, corner of his lips already tugging upwards. He steps in right next to the man, his presence shutting him up.

“Hey there. Haven’t seen you around here before. What’s your name, beautiful?”

You take another drag as you listen to him, your expression barely changing. This time, you turn your head to blow the smoke out before looking to him again. “Y/N.” You tap the cigarette in the ashtray next to you, arching an eyebrow. “And you’re Chris, if I’m not mistaken? It’s nice to meet you.”

“So you already know who I am.” He states, and you’re almost amused by that arrogant twinkle in his eyes. “It’s very nice to meet you too, Y/N.” The male standing next to him finally speaks up in annoyance, “Excuse me, I was in the middle of a conversation with-”

“It’s not a conversation if only one person is talking.” You cut him off, disposing of the cigarette entirely before handing him your empty cup. “Make yourself useful and toss this out for me, would you?” He scoffs incredulously but takes it, grumbling as he walks away. Chris looks at you with a grin, clucking his tongue. “Damn, baby girl. Ice cold. Not that I can blame you, you looked bored as fuck sitting over here.”

“Were you watching me?” you ask innocently, your voice silky as you gaze up at him. His eyes are gorgeous, you have to give him that. His whole face is, really. As much as you’d love to say that he’s overrated, you can’t. He’s handsome, and he knows it. “A little bit, yeah.” He admits shamelessly, glancing back to the spot where he was sitting on the couch, the area slightly visible from where you are in the kitchen. “Those little kittens over there are great and all, but… I dunno. Something about you is more appealing.” He looks back at you and smirks, continuing, “Probably the fact that everything about your beauty is natural.”

He’s right, but you imagine he probably says this to even the most Botox-ed of Hollywood women.

“Thank you.” You practically purr nonetheless with a small smirk. “Wanna step outside with me for a bit? It’s getting kind of hot in here.”

“Sure. Let me grab us a drink too. What do you want?”

“A beer’s fine, thanks.”

His eyes practically light up, his smirk growing wider. “Oh, yeah? Damn, I’ve never met a girl at one of these parties that drinks beer. Always complaining about how it’s going to make them fat or whatever.”

You shrugged nonchalantly as you slid down from the counter, tapping your lightly toned stomach. “Fast metabolism, I guess. Those fruity cocktails and shit have way too much sugar, I’d probably get less sick if I just drank rubbing alcohol. Beer’s good.”

He laughs and you can tell he’s already impressed. You feel strangely good about this. “Alright, sweetheart. I’ll meet you out on the deck.”

____________________

It’s a whirlwind of a romance.

You never thought this would happen to you. You constantly hear about celebrities getting together after knowing each other for ten seconds, getting married after dating for eleven. You’d scoff at the thought. That’s infatuation, not love.

Now as you’re holding Chris’ hand as he uses his other one to shield you from the lights of the paparazzi cameras flashing in your face, you wonder how the hell you got here. Going on dates every week, spending the night at whomever’s place is closest- you’ve even Facetimed his parents a few times, for God’s sake, and you’ve only been dating for three months.

You haven’t told him you love him yet, nor has he told you. You’re not ready for that. He’s clearly still dripping in the residue from his playboy days, and you’ve simply always had a difficult time with… well, emotions.

It’s the main cause behind any arguments you two have. While he still has a very frat boy-esque mentality, he’s also very sensitive to feelings. He’s a romantic at heart; he’s like an open book, and he surprisingly has no problem being vulnerable. You, on the other hand, keep everything bottled up. It’s what you’re used to.

Still, you make it work. You’ve never been in a relationship that feels so serious. Even the arguments only furthermore make it seem real, like you've been dating for years rather than a few months.

The two of you finally approach the gate of the apartment complex, entering as you let out a little breath upon being free from the paparazzi’s clutches. “I don’t know how you deal with this everyday.” You shake your head, barely laughing. “It’s exhausting.” He chuckles and guides you inside, raising a brow. “Well, baby doll, it’s going to be your life pretty soon now that you’ve found yourself an agent- you know that, right?”

You can’t hold back your smile, even though you’ve been strictly telling yourself not to keep your hopes up. “I don’t have one yet, it’s just a meeting. I can’t get too excited!” He scoffs and suddenly grabs your waist, playfully tackling you down onto the couch as you squeal. “Well, I’m going to be excited for you then. C’mon baby, look at you. You’re fucking gorgeous, and you’ve been gaining more and more followers by the second. And the agency reached out to you first to set up a meeting, you didn’t even have to send your headshots in. You know how good of a sign that is?” He playfully starts tickling your sides and you practically shriek in laughter, squirming through your giggles. “Chris!!”

He finally stops and you exhale, breathless but smiling as you reach up and hold his face lightly. “You really think I’ll make it big one day? That I’ll eventually be walking that runway during Paris Fashion Week?”

“Hell yeah I do, cupcake.” He murmurs, leaning down to peck your lips, “And I’m going to be sitting front row at every single fucking show.” You smile, briefly shutting your eyes before opening them again as you trail your fingertips along the stubble of his jawline. “Oh, yeah? What if you forget all about me because you’ll be a big Hollywood star by then? What if you show up front row, sitting next to your girlfriend Megan Fox?” He blinks and laughs deeply, moving his mouth down to kiss at your neck. “Mm… I’d be watching you walk that runway and dump her right then and there to beg for you back, that’s what.” You hum softly in delight as he nibbles on your sensitive skin, his husky voice continuing, “But you know that’s not going to happen, right baby? I can’t imagine doing this whole Hollywood thing without you by my side. You support me so much, and I want to do the same for you. I just… have a really good feeling about this relationship.”

You lightly move his head to look up into his eyes, reading his expression. He looks nothing but genuine.

“Me too.” You whisper, caressing his cheek lightly with your thumb. “I think we’re both gonna make it big one day. And we’ll be doing it together.”

____________________

“He was my first.” You laugh softly as you wipe at your eyes, looking up towards the ceiling of the lavish five star hotel room as if that will stop the tears from returning. “I was only eighteen when we met. Still new to LA, only had a few thousand followers on Instagram. God, why am I crying right now?”

Your friend Taylor hands you a tissue, shaking her head. “It’s okay to cry sometimes, you know. It’s good to have feelings.”

You scoff through the tears, taking the tissue and wiping at your wet eyes. “I just can’t believe everything we’ve gone through. Me becoming an international model, him becoming Captain freakin’ America, adopting a dog together, traveling the world together for his press conferences and my photoshoots, meeting each other’s families…” You sniff, finally letting a tear actually slide down your cheek. “Do you remember when I had to get an appendectomy? And I was so fucking freaked out about the surgery, I had never had one before- but he was there with me the entire time I was recovering. He even told the director of Gifted that he needed a few days off.”

“Yes, Y/N, we remember.” Jasmine sighs, handing you a glass of wine. “Drink up girly, you clearly need it tonight.” Candice raises an eyebrow, questioning, “Hasn’t she drank enough? I think that’s why the crying is happening…”

“And we even talked about having kids together. We just knew we’d make it, you know? That our relationship would last forever. It wasn’t delusional, we knew it.” You sniff, taking the wine nonetheless as you take a sip. “Oh my God, remember when I had that pregnancy scare? And it looked like I’d be having a baby, and I was so nervous to tell him, but when I did he was so fucking ecstatic. Guys, he was so happy. Literally jumping for joy. He told me he wanted nothing more than to have a baby with me, even though we hadn’t planned for one that early.”

“Well, thank God you weren’t actually pregnant,” Meng pipes up, a glass of wine in one hand as she goes to open your closet door with the other. “Because then shopping for this would have been a lot more difficult with a baby bump.” She pulls out the wedding dress, playfully moving it from side to side in front of her body. All the girls immediately laugh, cheering as they raise their glasses. “Hell, yeah! Our girl’s getting married to the love of her life tomorrow!”

You giggle through your tears. Your happy tears, to be exact.

“C’mon, Y/N, stop crying already!” Elsa laughs, shaking your shoulders lightly. “You’re acting like Chris dumped you!” You laugh too, wiping at your eyes. “I can’t help but be a little emotional, okay? God, this is his fault. I never used to be such a crybaby until I met him.” You lift up your glass for another toast as you smile widely. “To the best damn bridesmaids in the world. Thank you for dealing with my sensitive ass during this whole marriage process.”

“Anything for you, soon-to-be Mrs. Evans!”

#chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans x you #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #writing

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