#Honestly so sick of the forbidden love trope | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cupidevanesco · 1 year ago

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ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE. | ksm.

➨ pairing: kim seungmin x SHS!reader.

➨ note: not proofread, highschool x forbidden love trope.

➨ word count: 7.5k

Seungmin was known as the biggest asshole among the juniors and seniors in highschool. No one knew what he was up to, breaking all these girls’ hearts and all.

so I wondered, how did I manage to make him treat me like this?

I walked around campus for a little while as classes have not started yet. I still had two hours before studying and had absolutely nothing to do, so here I was, walking around, kicking dried leaves that fell from trees.

i stopped in front of a big tree, this was my signature place.

I sat on the bench that was under the tree and took a book out to do something to entertain me. As much as I wanted to take my phone out and chat with people, I had no one to chat with — which left me no choice but to read.

It's not like I was reading something educational; I was reading fiction.

this school year had been tough for me, my class rank went down from first to fifth, I stopped being a people pleaser which made my friends progressively leave me, Day by day.

It’s fine, it's the last year of senior year anyway.

But other than that, I was focused on one person, and that was none other than Kim Seungmin.

me and seungmin was never fond of each other, we were always fighting since we met each other and this year, he bullied me so much to the point where I lost the energy to even do anything back.

it’s not because I was offended or affected by the things he did or said, it was just because I realized that I would benefit nothing from fighting all day with him — about absolutely nothing.

I never understood why he hated me, he would often try to trip me where there were a lot of people around, hide my things for laughs, make rumours about me, and more.

I don't even care anymore, but him and his friends’ bullying doesn't seem to stop.

to be honest, when he didn't use to bully me as much, half of me enjoyed arguing with him. I was enjoying it because he didn't do physical things, but now he had just gotten worse, worse than I ever imagined.

I don't even remember the first time we started fighting and why. all I knew was that he hated me and that was not gonna die down soon.

speaking of the devil, “hey loser,” A familiar light brown haired boy stood in front on me with a couple of his friends trailing him behind.

“What do you want, seungmin?” I blurted out, my voice having an annoyed tone to it.

“we’re not even halfway through the school year and you're already stressed, it's only march.” he mocked me, making me look up to see that nasty smirk he had.

“I did not ask that... I asked you about what you wanted?” I raised my eyebrow at him, completely ignoring what he had said earlier.

“Nothing much really, How are you doing y/n?”

I knew for a fact that he wasn’t actually asking me if I was okay, I knew that he would try to pull some sick joke that would ‘offend me’

“Better than fine seungmin, how about you?” I played along his little games, I honestly am itching to know what he actually wants.

“Doing better than you, as always.” Whatever, I’m aware that he has an answer for everything, why did I even bother to respond to him.

“Well thank you for your time, you can go on with your day now.” I smiled warmly at him. it was fake but I couldn't think of a better idea of shooing him away.

He walked away, murmuring something to his friends and laughing about it which I certainly knew was about me.

I continued to listen to music and read my book at peace when seungmin left, I know I should've just ignored him but he wouldn't leave me alone unless he completely ruins my day, but to his dismay, I just don't care anymore.

Half of me wished that we were in a book; where in the end we’re either going to end up as friends or lovers. It might be weird, but I would do anything for him to stop bullying me,

even if it was being his lover.

I would basically be delusional if I said that was possible, so I shrugged off the thought.

After almost an hour of reading, I realized that I ran out of coffee. I was too focused on what I was reading that I forgot I had classes in only thirty minutes from now.

I took all of my things and went outside of campus to buy coffee from my favorite coffee shop.

Time passed by and I already had my order and was ready to leave when seungmin walked inside the café.

weird, I never knew he went here.

he and his friends laughed at me again for an unknown reason while I did my thing and completely ignored them.

there was one thing I did whenever I saw seungmin in public; it was to ignore him completely like I've never met him before.

I was afraid that he’ll embarrass me in front of people that wasn't from our university. Being humiliated in front of people from uni was already horrible and being humiliated from strangers didn't make a difference, just worse.

I tried my best to ignore him, but I don't think he was gonna let me go back inside campus without embarrassing me in front of everybody.

I was cautious around my surroundings, I knew any time now he would be sticking his foot out to trip me, so I was looking carefully everywhere.

I was able to leave the shop without getting terrorized by no other than seungmin. It was honestly a surprise and achievement to escape his terrorizing and I was here for it.

I finally calmed down and reached my campus, continuing to enter and go straight to first period.

I wasn't too late to class and not that much people were there, and gladly my favorite seat wasn’t taken by anyone yet.

I sat by the window and put my things down under my desk, I pulled out my textbook to review some topics as we had a pop quiz today.

I wasn’t stressing out as much because I was actually able to focus yesterday unlike the past few days before yesterday and I completely understood the topic.

I always enjoyed first period and the rest of my classes before lunch because well, me and seungmin didn't have the same schedule which is a relief.

But still, we had the same classes from fifth to ninth period which was hell for me, I’m so tired of crumbled paper and paper planes being constantly threw at me.

usually, those paper planes and crumpled paper will have something written in in; I always fail to not read them because of curiosity as there's something different written in it every single time.

I ignored my thoughts and continued studying until the teacher came.

Time passed by fast as the class finally ended with the school alarms lowly blaring. I breathed the sigh of relief as I stretched out my arms and back from staying still for too long.

right before I went out, I put my headphones in, not wanting to interact with anyone i see; especially that guy.

While walking to my next period, I passed by seungmin who was clueless of my presence — thankfully.

he looked troubled while he was looking for the things inside his backpack. Was it karma?

I ignored it and continued walking towards my class, and to my dismay, seungmin ran back and ‘accidentally’ pushed me.

I fell to the ground as he looked back at me, staring down, probably contemplating if he should help me or not.

To my surprise, he started picking up the books that fell from my hands and gave them back to me. He muttered a little ‘I’m sorry’ and ran back to where he was before, probably still looking for the missing object.

I stood still, I was speechless since this was the first ever time that he did something like this.

Earlier morning, he was just mocking me and probably talking bad about me with his friends and now he's helping me pick up my things?

Why should I even think too much about it, It was his fault anyway, he accidentally pushed me, he's REQUIRED to help me.

it just feels so impossible and unreal for him to do something like that...

I once again shrugged it off and continued walking to my next class, grabbing a new drink from the cafeteria before going because my coffee was already finished.

once I reached class, the seat by the window was already taken, there was only one seat left; it was at the very back.

I'm not complaining though, but I do lack focus whenever I'm back there.

I suddenly remembered when I just started highschool, I always sat at the back of the class…

with… seungmin?

Oh, now I remember.

We used to be chill around each other because we had a lot of similarities, then suddenly, everything turned into a competition of who likes what better.

then it became academic, I won a lot when it came to acads, but these days he’s either ranked one or two, never lower.

his friends was right below him, meaning I was below his friends.

I don't remember exactly what we fought about, but at least now I know some detail.

I also remembered having a small crush on seungmin?

whatever.

I probably only did because he was the only person I talked to and he was also the only person in the whole campus with the same level as me.

the teacher walked in snapping me out of my trance, she didn't wait any second and started discussing, leaving me no choice but to listen.

Throughout the whole class, I felt uncomfortable because not only was my pants feeling all itchy, but my head and my back hurts and I kept on unconsciously trying to recall me and seungmin’s past interactions.

I lost focus on the lesson but still kept trying to listen whenever I catch myself losing focus. I needed to get my rank back.

I was doing something wrong with my acads but I don't know what, if I don't get my rank back this semester I will surely get myself tutored.

But to be honest, getting tutored traumatized me. My parents used to hire really rude tutors before to get me studying ‘well’ and all.

But if I needed to get tutored to get my rank back, I WILL get tutored.

I didn't realize that the class already ended, students were already packing their stuff and leaving while I was just staring at the half blank white board that was now being wiped by the teacher.

I quickly gathered my things and left, I knew I was gonna pass by seungmin again but remembering what he did earlier, I didn't worry too much.

As expected, I passed by seungmin and to my surprise, he was walking with a sweet girl. he had his arms wrapped around her while they were laughing and talking.

oh how I felt bad for the girl. She's gonna get her heart broken like the others.

I said nothing as I noticed seungmin taking a quick glance at me and looking away. I pretended not to notice and kept walking.

So many unusual things already happened today and I don't want to encounter more, because what the hell is happening?

first of all, seungmin bullied me and suddenly became nice, I remembered all of our interactions and lost focus, and now he's walking with a random girl who's ‘bout to get her heart broken.

I've seen enough for today, I’m already so drained. I just want this day to end, it feels so long.

I only had two more classes left before lunch and that still wasn't enough to keep me content, I needed this to finish early.

I can't take more of this bullshit.

I let time fly and barely noticed that i was already walking to the cafeteria, I walked to the back of the line and waited for my turn.

When I got my beverages, I went straight to the rooftop.

I didn't like eating inside the cafeteria, There was a lot of people there and I couldn't bear the loudness.

when I was at the last step, the door from the rooftop swung open revealing a girl crying real hard and running.

the same girl seungmin was with earlier.

after her, the expected came out.

A disappointed, bored looking seungmin comes out. arms crossed and walking slowly.

I tried to ignore him and walked straight past him but of course, he became the person he was this morning.

“Y’know, you’re a real loser eating here all alone everyday.” he looked at me with a straight and serious face.

I unwrapped my burger and took a bite, pretending to not have heard him as I had my headphones on.

“i know you can hear me.”

“i know you can stop being an asshole if you wanted to.” I blurted out, I was already as annoyed by everything and I didn't want him interrupting me.

“that doesn't even- you know what, I don't care.” — “just why are you choosing to be such a loser when you can just socialize?” he boredly asks,

“and why can't you stop annoying me! why can't you stop bullying me and breaking other girls’ hearts?! why are you doing all of this when you can just become a better person?!” I yelled at him, causing him to stay silent.

“why can't you just work on yourself than to try to make me better?” I muttered.

“Because I can’t okay!” He yelled at me, I now noticed the tears that were forming in his eyes.

“Yes you can! you were a much better person when I first met you!” I yelled back, I won't let myself lose in this so-called argument.

“I miss you seungmin.” I finally admitted, looking at him with full of hope that he’ll understand.

“what?” he looks back up, trying to process what I just said.

“i said I missed you, seungmin.” I stood still, not sure of what to do or why I said that.

“How? what do you mean? I don't understand.” he looks at me teary eyed and confused.

“i meant I miss the old you, the person who was fun and chill, the person who used to listen to music with me in my classes, the person who ranted to me when he needed to and also the person that I could rant to.” at this point, I could feel the tears in my eyes start to form.

“I-... I’m really, really, really sorry y/n.” He breaks down completely and falls on the ground, covering his face with both of his hands.

I couldn't help but feel bad, he looked like a complete mess right now.

I couldn't move and didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something.

I went closer to him and cupped his face with both of my hands, “i forgive you seungmin, cry it all out.” after that, I hugged him and ruffle his hair while doing so.

I could feel the warmth of his breath hit my neck as he finally hugged me back and cried more onto my neck.

He was mumbling his apologies and reasons while i only sat there and kept on comforting the poor boy.

I soon enough invited him to eat with me, and he gracefully agreed.

After lunch, me and seungmin went straight to our classes.

After that, all I knew was my day went smoothly with seungmin who wasn't bullying me, and in fact was even chatting with me when we got the chance.

All of our classes are finally finished and we bid our goodbyes and separated ways.

After walking for a bit, I realized that I left my phone in our classroom.

I rushed to the classroom I was last in and went straight to my seat, thankfully, the phone was still there.

while I was walking my way back, I saw a beat up seungmin sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall.

I ran close to him, “shit, what happened?” I immediately sat down and took out the first aid kit that I always bring as I tend to be really clumsy and fall wherever I go.

“some... some group of guys stole my stuff.” he groaned while pressing onto his bruised eye.

“that looks pretty bad. let me-” I stopped talking as I focused to medicate the wounds on his face.

as I was finishing patching him up, he suddenly spoke, “why are you even helping me? you suffered so much because of me.” for a small momentum, I stayed quiet.

I realized that he was staring at me the whole time.

“the clinic is closed... when you get home, put an ice pack on this would you?” I said, pointing at his bruised eye and ignoring his question.

he gave me a reassuring nod and stood up as I did the same.

“I guess I have to go now...? bye seungmin, stay safe.” I smiled warmly at him and turned away when he grabbed my arm and turned me around.

“thank you y/n... thank you for forgiving me and helping me. I’m really thankful that you're here.” he held my hand tightly, looking at me straight in the eyes.

I stayed quiet while just looking at him. “Y/n, I... I love you.” — “This is serious, I'm not playing with you or anything, I really do love you.”

I kept quiet.

“I loved you from the start, when I first met you, but things went wrong at home and I took my anger out on people here because I thought it would be unfair if everyone was feeling fine and I wasn't. I regret everything I really do, and you made me realize that.” he sighs as he looks down, letting go of my hands.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds and I finally talked. “it’s okay, I told you right? you could change...” — “and seungmin...” I said and picked up the both of his hands, recreating his previous action.

“i love you too.” I stared at him with sincerity in my eyes.

Seungmin broke down again and hugged me tightly, I did the same thing back and patted his back. I stayed silent, there was no need to say anything.

We were quiet for a few minutes. Seungmin wasn't hugging me anymore, but his head was laying on my shoulder.

“Hey… let’s go home and talk about it, huh?” I cupped both of his cheeks as I stared at his flushed face.

His hair was messy, his eyes were puffy, his lips were plump and was pinkish while his nose and his ears were red.

I tilted my head waiting for a response as he just nodded his head.

We both stood up from the slippery floor and walked out of campus, finally.

“Y/n, do you want to… hang out for a bit?” he asked, staring at me with puppy eyes

I smiled warmly, “of course, minnie.” I said as I wiped the tears in his eyes, making him smile slightly with a hint of joy in him.

I was taken aback when he linked his arms with mine and kept on walking towards the closest café.

I stayed silent the whole time, I wish I stayed in this moment, forever.

We entered the café, arms still linked. “Do you want me to order for you?” — “Actually, that's not a question, I'll order for you. what do you want to get?” he asked, and finally unlinked our arms.

“Um, are you going to pay? I can pay for my-” before I could finish, he cut me off, “no. I will pay y/n, I owe you my life.”

“I get that I kind of changed you, but don't be drastically dramatic.” I laughed and looked at him,

“shush… just tell me what you’d like… it's an order.” he cutely shushes me like a little kid, “okay fine, I’d like to have a belgium chocolate latte, please.” I smiled at him and leaned on my hand for support.

“Of course, m’lady.” He smiled again and winked at me, I rolled my eyes at his flirty response and waited for him to come back.

A few minutes later, he came back with two drinks and a few donuts that I didn’t ask for. He probably got hungry from getting beaten up or something.

I was surprised when he gently pushed the plate of donuts towards me, “I got you some extra stuff, maybe you’d like it?” he smiles at me with shiny eyes,

“What… you know what, I'm not even gonna decline. but let's share, okay?” I jokingly say, “whatever you want, my puppy.”

damn, we aren't even dating yet.

I laughed at his sentence and decided to sip my drink and take a bite of the food, at the same time feeding him.

I noticed how his ears would get extremely red when I gave him a bite of the donut, “you’re whipped.” I seriously but jokingly said, “yes ma’am.” He closed his eyes and nodded as a response.

I laughed at his silly little response and kept on doing my thing.

Half an hour had already passed and we decided that we should go home as the sky was getting darker.

“Can I take you home?” He asks with the same puppy eyes he gave me earlier. as much as I wanted to scream and run and say yes, I stood strong.

“Seungmin, we've already spent a lot of time with each other, no need for more.” I said and placed my phone back inside my bag, he pouted at my response and crossed his arms, turning away from me.

I chuckled, “what are you doing?” He turned around my with his little pouty face and rolled his eyes, I didn't know he was so childish with people he was close with,

or only with me…?

“Please let me walk you home…” he mumbled loud enough for me to hear. “Seungmin, will you date me in the future?” I asked, waiting for a response.

Seungmin seemed to have choked on his words and turned to me, “of course?” he says in a questioning tone, like it was the most obvious thing.

“Then walk me home when we’re dating. Bye minnie! stay safe.” I said and walked the opposite way, I heard him groan and finally talk, “fine! stay safe too, Y/n.” — “thanks for today…” I wasn't too far to not hear as I smiled at his response.

I reached my house and the next thing I knew was I already took a shower and was ready to take a nap. I know this nap is gonna be peaceful remembering what happened today.

I was only supposed to take a nap but it turned into sleep, I woke up the next morning with horrible hair but a pretty face, odd.

I guess it was probably because I wasn't too stressed yesterday.

I got ready for school and time passed by like it was in a time lapse. I was able to focus well on my classes and even got a perfect score on two of my quizzes in two different subjects.

It was finally lunch break as I low-key searched for seungmin in the cafeteria, I just couldn't let him know that I was looking for him.

My heart rose as I saw Seungmin sitting at a table with a group of his friends, they were talking normally and laughing with each other.

I wanted to call his name so bad, I wanted to let him know that I was looking for him.

After a couple of moments of being interrupted by the noises of the cafeteria while eating, my mood suddenly changed.

Some girl was trying to hit on seungmin.

Why do I care? we're not together anyways.

that girl’s a whore.

why am I so affected anyway, he's still a player after all.

rip that girl’s ugly fucking face apart.

I ran to the rooftop, frustrated at the random thoughts that popped up inside of my head. I needed to clear my mind for a moment.

This is why I never eat at the damned cafeteria.

I tried to shrug the thought off and chewed my food ‘till there was almost nothing left, but then suddenly, the door swung open, revealing a smiling seungmin and the whore who now looked like she was ready to make out with him.

My heart dropped as I saw that they were about to kiss, in fucking front of me.

“get a room.” I say as I pretended to be disgusted by the two and walked out, I saw seungmin’s shocked face before I did and that was all it took for me to start crying.

It was too stressful for me and I couldn't take it anymore. I went home crying and running. Does he treat every girl like how he treats me?

I didn't mind changing my clothes as I was too focused on the fact that seungmin was doing shit with other girls and it gave me a huge horrendous amount of feeling betrayed.

I cried myself to sleep as I had nothing better to do, my only choice was to cry about it because no one knows about what happened to the both of us anyway.

only him.

I shouldn't have trusted him.

I guess trust issues are actually useful sometimes, I should've let it take over.

I woke up from the sound of rocks being thrown at my window, I looked at the time and I knew that by this time my parents would be asleep. who could be throwing rocks at my window at two in the morning?

People would hate me if I said I didn't hesitate to look at who was throwing at the window because one, it's stupid, and two, it could be a killer and my life could be in danger.

but I couldn't care any less, I just wanted to make the dude stop. I just want rest and I can't even get that as well.

I stared in shock when I saw who was in our backyard, it was none other than seungmin.

Society would say that I'm stupid or I'm making a fool of myself if it found out that I let him in, because I mean, he got me pretty fucked up in just a day.

As he entered, I backed away, I didn't want to be close to him even though I literally let him enter my room through my window.

“Y/n are you mad?” He looked at me worriedly, “Well I don’t know seungmin, am I mad?” I looked at him straight in the eyes with an emotionless face.

“You might have misunderstood, it really wasn't what it looked like-” I cut him off, I didn't want to hear more.

“Misunderstood that you were close to fucking that girl? don't worry, it’s okay seungmin. we're not dating.” I replied bluntly and crossed my arms, at this point, I wanted to cry but no tears would come out.

I chuckled, “You’re so good at acting, minnie.” I combed my hair with my hand as I crossed my arms back again after, “please… I didn't mean to…” He walked closer towards me with a ‘pitiful’ face others might say.

“No, no, it’s okay seungmin! totally fine! I mean why are you even apologizing? like we're not even dating bro.” I sarcastically responded to his lame apology.

“I’ll explain, She claimed to have liked me for years and I didn't know what to do so I acted through it! and she suddenly brought me to the rooftop and I don't know… I left her after I saw you.” he explained, making everything clear for me.

“so seungmin, are you implying that if we dated and some girl confessed to you, you’d fuck her?” I laughed and kept my arms crossed.

“No! no y/n please I really didn't want to! but my friends were making fun of me and calling me names and all…” he scratched his head, I've had enough of this bullshit.

“LAME! you're fucking lame! What kind of excuse is that?! leave my room right now. right now seungmin! fucking asshole.” I yelled and mumbled the last two words. I was so pissed off that I felt as if I wanted to jump off a cliff and die so that he could feel guilty.

The last thing I knew, he was hugging me and crying on my shoulder while repeatedly saying ‘I’m sorry, please don't leave me. I love you.

it broke my heart seeing him like this. my emotions took over me and forgave him, in the end, I was laying my head on his arm while staring at the ceiling.

the dim lamp made it comfortable enough for me to stay still, staying as quiet as ever.

“Y/n please understand if I want to keep our relationship a secret, if we start dating… y’know…” he suddenly speaks, not moving an inch.

“why?” I asked emotionlessly and bluntly, “because of my friends… My parents know you. my friends will snitch on me once they find out that I'm dating you.”

“why?” I repeated my question having no energy to form a proper conversation.

“Your parents, my parents, they know each other. my family talks a lot about how they're trying to beat each other on sales and will do anything to beat them, even if it means risking someone’s life.” he explained as I stayed silent, everything was starting to clear up.

“Seungmin, I'm sleepy.” I exclaimed and yawned, he played with my hair as I slowly melted at his touch and eventually dozed off and slept peacefully.

I woke up the next morning to see that seungmin was no longer by my side, there was only a pillow on where he had his arm and I was laying on it, he must've left while I was sleeping.

I got ready for school and the same thing happened just like any other day. I went to my classes, ate at the rooftop, went home and completely pretended that seungmin didn't exist at all.

it was already night time as I was getting ready to sleep, scrolling a bit on my phone before I heard someone throw rocks on my window again.

It's seungmin.

I let him in as he gave me a hug when he stepped inside, I hugged him back tiredly and laid down on my bed as he did the same as last night, putting his arms under my head as a pillow.

“I missed you, minnie.” I exclaimed. “I missed you too, my y/n. he replied back.

“How was your day?” he asked, “aren’t your friends wondering why you aren't bothering me at school?” I asked, completely ignoring his question.

“Oh, yeah, they did.” he scratched his head, “what did you say?” I asked,

“I said that there was no point of it anymore, and that I got lazy.” he responded. “m‘kay.” I replied effortlessly as all I wanted to do was sleep. Today was a tiring day from me and I can't even say or do anything properly.

“You seem really tired… y/n.” he says as he played with my hair like last night, “It was a stressful day.” I explained bluntly and closed my eyes.

“I have something important to ask you.” He suddenly says, making me shocked on the inside but having no energy to show it.

“What is it?” I asked nervously, “Can you be my girlfriend?” he turned to me and cupped my face with his right hand.

“huh… you're just tired. Let's get some rest.” I say and shrug it off, closing my eyes once again.

“No y/n, please give me the permission to be yours. to be your boyfriend.” he says, making me open my eyes, I now realized what he has said was serious.

“seungmin… of course.” I say in happiness. I couldn't explain how happy I was, despite the fact that I was all sleepy and tired, I still managed to have the energy to smile and hug him tightly.

He kept on playing with my hair while hugging me back too, “Goodnight, sleep well, love.” I was too tired to respond and dozed off.

As expected, I woke up the next morning with seungmin gone and a pillow under my head.

I got ready, did what I did on a daily basis and everything was going completely normal.

I went to class, ate at the rooftop, went home, and have seungmin throw rocks at my window.

I woke up the next day with seungmin gone like usual and the same cycle repeats over and over again.

Six months passed and the same thing happened every single day, except I was doing better in my studies and I was now ranked second.

I was walking normally when I saw seungmin talking to a girl who seemed to be flirting with him, he didn't seem to react the same way the girl was acting and stayed there, standing still while staring at her blankly.

I was relieved to see that he reacted like this, but suddenly, the girl started crying and pulled him into the… fucking janitor’s closet?

I stomped my way to the janitor’s closet, kicking the door open with all my strength.

“And what do you think you're doing?” I grabbed the girl by the collar, never in my life had I thought I'd do this, not even something similar to this.

I glared at the girl while she stared at me in shock.

“Talk, bitch!” I said as I slapped her, seungmin got a hold of my hand which made me stop, “why are you causing such a ruckus y/n?” I froze hearing him call me by my name which he hadn't done since we started dating.

He looked at me coldly, as if we didn't know each other at all.

“what…?” I looked at seungmin, feeling betrayed. He pulled me out of the closet leaving the girl alone and took me to the same rooftop I just came from.

“Are you out of your mind?! do you want my family to find out and break us apart y/n?!” he yelled at me, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

“You might now care but I do, I care. I don't want my parents to fucking find out! I'll fucking die!” He yelled again, kicking an empty can of soda from the floor.

“So you'll let her do shit to you? huh!?” — “I’ve had enough of your bullshit seungmin! This is the second fucking time you let someone try to fuck you!” I yelled back at him, I wasn't backing down now.

“Y/n do you really not understand?! Did you ever consider my damn feelings!?” He turned around.

that sentence broke me completely, I absolutely had nothing to say.

“We’re not getting anywhere. I can't do this anymore, I tried to work this secret relationship shit thing and it's just not working. Let's end this. I'm breaking up with you.” I stared at him in frustration and sadness.

his face dropped, “fuck… no wait, I mean, I'm sorry babe, I’m just really stressed today-” I cut him off, “don’t sugarcoat it now seungmin, I'm sick of this bullshit.” I didn't say anything anymore as I felt like I was gonna have a mental breakdown right there.

In fact, I really wanted to work out things with him but I just couldn't, if our parents hate each other so much then there was no way, we were only in senior highschool and didn't have a job to at least support our decisions with.

I knew it was better to end things with him. It was the right person, but it was the wrong time.

If only I had met him when we're in college, working or something I could work out stuff with him because I know he can handle things without depending on his parents, but I didn't, I had no choice.

seven months passed and I finally was in college. I moved out and got my own apartment that my parents provided me that I soon enough would completely own as I finally got myself a part time job at a nearby hotel.

Being a receptionist was more than enough to keep me alive which led me to renting a larger and fancier apartment.

I was loving my new life at my job, college, my house, everything.

I also met a couple of new people who were hyunjin and jeongin, I met them at a campus project that required working with other college students and we met from making background props for apparently a really big film showing only in a month.

It was a perfectly fine day when I was met with a familiar light-brown haired boy who was looking… more decent now.

I was asked to show him around campus and tell him about all the upcoming large projects we have.

Wow, great timing and great person.

There was an awkward silence between us as I scanned him, he was wearing a simple blue cardigan jacket and some baggy white pants with some good ‘ol Jordans.

“Hi… Y/n. Long time no see.” He broke the silence by speaking in a happy tone that had a hint of nervousness in it.

“Hey, seungmin… I didn't expect to be seeing you today.” it was probably because the school saw on his information that he went to the same school as me in highschool and thought that we’d know each other.

Well great, because we do.

“Um… so…” he spoke and looked down, looking for words to say, “do you wanna see the campus or talk about the projects we have soon?” I talked confidently, I was NOT gonna show him that I was nervous.

To be honest, I missed him a lot but moved on from the past and now think of our past relationship as a sweet little memory of my highschool days.

“Um- we can talk about the projects! if that’s okay…” he said as I noticed his ears get red, like it used to. he's even more shy now.

stop it y/n.

“Yeah, totally. Where do you wanna talk? here or somewhere outside campus?” I asked nicely, waiting for a response.

“Uh, can we talk in a café or something?” He chuckled lightly, oh shit, the memories.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” I said as I put my phone back inside my sling bag and waited for him to lead the way.

He brought me to the closest café and we started talking about the upcoming projects and what he needed to help with. We finished talking after only half an hour and I was finally getting ready to leave.

“Hey y/n, you seem to know everything about campus. Why is that?” He asked me genuinely, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m the university’s vice president.” I chuckled without looking at him, just gathering all of my things and shoving them in my bag.

“Actually, I've been saving up the courage to ask you this since earlier but can we talk about… you know?”

I knew it, I knew this was gonna happen.

I sat back down and sighed, “fine, make it quick. please.” I pleaded, to be honest I actually never wanted this conversation to end but of course I wasn't gonna say that to my literal ex.

“I… you know what, I'm not gonna talk about the past… I'm just gonna tell you how my days have been, is that okay?” Was he just trying to spend his time with me longer?

“Yeah, go on…” I said, “so… kinda unusual but I'm a caregiver, and I've got my own apartment too, my parents aren't controlling me anymore, thankfully. And yeah, I guess life’s pretty decent… but empty without…” he said, not finishing his words

“What about you, y/n?” He suddenly asked, “well, life’s alright. I'm doing well with my studies and I have an apartment too. I'm also a part time receptionist at a hotel,” I exclaimed.

he smiled, “You’re a receptionist? you must be rich now.” He laughed, “Not to be egoistic or over-confident or something but, it's kinda like that.” I joked around.

“But… gosh. I can't take it anymore, can we… hang out? sometimes?

I stayed silent, I didn't know what to respond. my choice would either fix all of my life problems or make more problems, but I'm saying yes.

“...okay.” I responded bluntly and stood up, “see you… tomorrow. I’ll show you around campus.” I left without hesitation.

I felt suffocated inside there, my heart was pumping really hard after I realized what I just did, I really agreed to repeat history with that guy, with seungmin.

I went home as we didn't really have school today, we just met up because the teacher just wouldn't let me skip a day and the student council wouldn't let me skip an after school meeting either.

It was already dark and I had to go to work today so I rushed home and changed into my work attire and went straight to work.

Weeks and weeks have past and me and seungmin actually started to hang out, things were working out better than before. We were able to go around places without being scared of being seen talking to each other in a friendly way.

Then suddenly, he invited me over to a café… a café I will never forget.

It was the café that we went to a lot when we were in highschool.

I felt nervous and suffocated but I still went. My heart beating rapidly was also not helping, I saw him sitting there, wearing a sweater and baggy jeans near the glass wall, the same seat we were sitting in when we first made up with each other.

I sat in front of him, waiting for him to say something.

“Y/n… hi.” he greeted me, looking as nervous as ever. I tried to act normal and keep my cool while I was speaking though, someone here had to act all cool.

“Here’s your drink, I ordered earlier.” he says smiling while slightly pushing the drink towards me. I stared at the drink, A belgium chocolate latte.

“Thanks… so why did you call me?” I asked, “So I’ve been thinking…”

“I… I missed you, romantically. Please give me a second chance, y/n.” he held both of my hands, “Um… well, seungmin…” I was speechless.

“I’m really happy that we’re talking again, I've been so sad since we fell apart. I know we can work it out, I really miss you.” he begged.

“oh…” I sighed, “okay.” I looked down, wanting to just explode because I really gave in.

“thank you, thank you so much y/n you don't know how much you mean to me.” I saw him smile passionately while holding my hands tightly.

“Do you want to come over to my apartment and talk privately about it?” he asked, “Sure, seungmin.” I smiled warmly at him.

Once we were inside his apartment, I was surprised to see how clean it was.

We were now sitting at the couch with our unfinished drinks, “Y/n… will you be my girlfriend… I'll do better, I promise.”

it's not a sin to give him a chance, right?

“Of course.” I smiled warmly at him.

“Yes! Thank you! I love you!” he yelled with excitement and started to peck every part of my face.

After all the pecking he did, he hugged me tightly. “I never thought I was gonna be able to get you back, I love you.” he said while shoving his head on my shoulder.

I ruffled his hair and the next thing I knew, we were already walking at the park.

Months have passed, we were doing amazing, we announced our relationship with everyone and my parents weren't too mad, but his parents definitely were, yet we weren't gonna let them stop up and keep us apart, we didn't do all of this for nothing.

“baby… I love you so much.” seungmin suddenly spoke in his morning voice, facing me and hugging me.

I chuckled at how cute he was when he woke up fresh from sleep, “I love you too, minnie.” I exclaimed, making him laugh, still looking high.

“minnie… do you listen to Taylor swift?” I asked him, turning to him and ruffling his hair, “Yes, of course since you love her so much.” He said,

“Well, I can relate to her, you know.” I smiled, “how?” seungmin asked, “because…”

“all of the girls you loved before made you the one i’ve fallen for. every dead end street led you straight to me, now you're all I need, I'm so thankful for all of the girls you loved before.”

a/n: hi everyone, so yes, as you can tell, this is based on a taylor swift song (all of the girls you loved before) I finished this in only two days so please bear with me if it's bad, but other than that, if you reached it here, congrats. I already consider you as my fan. Thank you for reading and have a great day!

p.s if you want to see my other socials, you can find it at ⤵

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roleplayfinder · 10 months ago

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HIYA! I’m 20 looking for someone 18+ with the time zone GMT (or roughly close)! I’m also hoping to find some ACTIVE roleplayers (who are friendly ooc too) that would love to write a mxm roleplay that does include NSFW but loads of plot too using real face claims :)

Here are some plots i have:

• WW2 Plot, the characters fall in love in the year of 1935 where it’s forbidden, where’s it’s just a cute romance until the year 1939 hits. One of them gets drafted and tears the two apart. And they communicate through letters for a while (we’d have some in the trenches scenes too) and the character who isn’t in war starts to notice the drastic change and the lost of hope the other character is feeling and enlists and the war and joins him and we can figure out some more from there!

• Chaotic road trip, honestly my thought with this one was just these two characters pack it up and just leave. It would be an enemies to lovers thing, one of the characters is sick and tired of college and wants out and so they get into a car with well the person they hate most why? Who knows. And they just drive and it’s a little slow burn with them travelling to different places and with the trope grumpy x sunshine too.

• Fake dating! This idea is kinda from the movie plus one. Who doesn’t love some fake dating i was thinking the two characters meet each other one day and they decide to help each other out maybe they could meet at a bar and get talking. One of the characters has an ex boyfriend who invited them to their wedding and they want to make him jealous with their new partner. And the other character has the same problem, the character’s sister’s wedding is happening and they expect him to have a boyfriend who’s coming along after he accidentally told them he did. And you know how it goes from there.

• I’m also open to your plot ideas and we can merge any ideas together!

Like like post and i’ll reach out to you!

#eighteen and over #gmt #mxm #mxm roleplay #mxm rp #oc #oc roleplay #oc rp

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findyourrp · 10 months ago

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HIYA! 🤍 I’m 20 looking for someone 18+ with the time zone GMT (or roughly close)! I’m also hoping to find some ACTIVE roleplayers (who are friendly ooc too) that would love to write a mxm roleplay that does include NSFW but loads of plot too using face claims :)

Here are some plots i’m interested in:

+ WW2 Plot, the characters fall in love in the year of 1935 where it’s forbidden, where’s it’s just a cute romance until the year 1939 hits. One of them gets drafted and tears the two apart. And they communicate through letters for a while (we’d have some in the trenches scenes too) and the character who isn’t in war starts to notice the drastic change and the lost of hope the other character is feeling and enlists and the war and joins him and we can figure out some more from there!

+Chaotic road trip, honestly my thought with this one was just these two characters pack it up and just leave. It would be an enemies to lovers thing, one of the characters is sick and tired of college and wants out and so they get into a car with well the person they hate most why? Who knows. And they just drive and it’s a little slow burn with them travelling to different places and with the trope grumpy x sunshine too.

+Fake dating! This idea is kinda from the movie plus one. Who doesn’t love some fake dating i was thinking the two characters meet each other one day and they decide to help each other out maybe they could meet at a bar and get talking. One of the characters has an ex boyfriend who invited them to their wedding and they want to make him jealous with their new partner. And the other character has the same problem, the character’s sister’s wedding is happening and they expect him to have a boyfriend who’s coming along after he accidentally told them he did. And you know how it goes from there.

Like like post and i’ll reach out to you!

#rp finder #18+ rp #fandomless rp #oc x oc rp

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katyspersonal · 1 year ago

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Let me reformulate.

Who do you love / simp the more for between Aldrich, Micolash and Shabriri?

(Or is your favorite crazy soulsborne man a secret 4th thing?)

Why you have to put it this way sdfhhfds

Okay but honestly, every question of a kind is rigged by design if it includes Micolash in it, because I will ALWAYS choose him xD You know he is very dear for me, and at this point the "relationship" we have in my dreams where he appears feels like actual communication. It just runs very deep. And I could not abandon him if I tried because whenever it is about to happen, I have some sort of a nightmare of him dragging me back to him emotionally :^) 👍

I'll say though, without Micolash in the equation it is probably THE other Deep Sea simp guy. I never get to discuss Aldrich with anyone but Val, but I have a HUGE soft spot for the guy. The 'corrupt cleric' trope in fiction attracts me like a moth to a light bulb, but even further than that he has a similar transcendental motivation to Micolash (and Rykard, for that matter) - trying to get out no matter what cost because if you really think of it, no depraved actions really matter in the world that is already broken and corrupt by design! I suffer (am I tho... am I, tho) from some sort of disconnection from humanity, and this sort of higher plane thinking really resonates with me and gives me peace. Just finding a character that can 'understand' this makes me feel less lonely, even if that's a villain who is so comically evil he is long past redemption horizon. Val will also confirm that I've legit had very peaceful, elaborate and even 'magical' dreams about sea after discussing the guy in lengths, and when a fictional character gives me 'significant', personal-feeling dreams that's an automatic W.

...I also imagine him being fat even before eating people, and this is my favourite body type. Huggable is good!!!!! Yeah, when I think of Aldrich, I picture his still human(ish) self, and not the state of stealing Gwyndolin's look that we meet in the game.

This is not to say that I disregard Shabriri of course. I've been torturing Val and Crow with essays about him for a good reason, you know xD However, he DOES terrify me in a unique way. Micolash wants knowledge and to take his place in a higher plane away from the plebs, Aldrich wants to get to the better era for him and his simps in general being in the world stuck in vicious cycle, but Shabriri wants to, like... destroy everything, you know?

All three characters made quite huge human sacrifices out of despairing for how their world was designed if you think of their lores in general, whether they found it easy (if not enjoyable) to do or not. (I'd think the former for all three -_-") But I see Shabriri as someone without grandiose ideas but rather, he got a hunch of THE forbidden, the most evil power that goes more against Golden Order than anything imagineable and just... couldn't NOT. The call of curiosity is the most sparing way I can describe it. There is a Russian saying - "Суету навести охота" - that specifically refers to a person that ruined everything Just Because. Without even beneficial goal, just because things were too peaceful and 'boring'. That's him, okay? xD Yet I still feel bad for him, just... just why he had to tangle himself with something THAT horrifying.

youtube

^^^ I've been overthinking the contrast between how Kale says 'May chaos take the world' and how Shabriri says it. The intonation is so... drastically different - with Kale already seeking some peace and liberation from pain in the prospect of all things being melted, but with Shabriri (as you remember) sounding like a goddamn maniac. 'Some men just want to see the world burn', huh? I don't think anyone can truly comprehend Frenzied Flame since it comes from the power equal (or same) as Greater Will, so it is like a 'sickness' that will draw power from drives, feelings and principles of the host.

All in all? Shabriri is Chaotic Evil. I could write an essay about why Aldrich can qualify as Chaotic Good (at least past some point in his history) and Micolash as Chaotic Neutral, but this post is already overstaying his welcome because this question SHOULD be much simpler than I made it be x) I'll always like the 'Chaotic' type the most, but the Evil one is always least attractive. Adrich will do one a "favour" of eating them to add to his mass and take them into a better era, Micolash will do one a "favour" of making them a martyr in the progress torturing and sacrificing them for his weird rituals goals to commune with Gods... But Shabriri, bless his heart, will harm one... why? 'For fun' is the NICEST it can be. @_@" I am sure that Shabriri has a lot of intelligence packed in him as an extremely skilled manipulator then and now, but even tangled with hivemindish superior power, he is danger and evil for the sake of it and not out of twisted but noble motivations. He is uncaring and..... ironically 'cold' for someone with his element? I'd still quite love to bother the guy for attention and discuss existence and memories with him but in the end this is, figurally and literally, playing with the fire. xD

I know it is a combination of interpretations and super extensive analysis that was left behind the doors, but again, with Soulsborne characters, your own intuition and experiences is often all you've got! Thank you for the question, though! xD It was fun to think about..

#fandomry rambles #ask replies #personal #(ish)#cringe #soulsborne #basically shabriri is losing because he doesn't have 'nobility' in his motivations even albeit twisted and distorted #as selfish as Micolash became you can still sympathise with his drive #(also Micolash is my cute precious baby)#but it doesn't mean I do not simp for Shabriri HARD lol #just ask Val #(actually don't xD)

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cheolhub · 1 year ago

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SAR HI! so i finally managed to finish mexican gothic and dang that was one hella weird book 😭 like ???

im gonna rate this 2.5/3 out of 5 because it just wasn't my cup of tea. it was really slow and like took ages to get the the point and actual plot. i felt they were repeating alot and it just got dragged alot which i hate, i dislike slow paced stuff ugh. and it doesn't pick up until the middle which is kinda annoying bc i was just reading and reading having no idea what's going on or what's supposed to be happening lol. i didnt like most of the characters either and i just skim read the half the book i could not take it anymore 😭 but like when everything was finally revealed like wth it was weird and idk what i expected honestly 😭😭 but yeah i didn't enjoy mexcian gothic so much.

JAJD IM SORRY I WENT ON A WHOLE REVIEW AND RANT ABT IT 😭 anyway i need a cute read after this now

how's the twisted series read going?

DONT APOLOGIZE, I ENCOURAGE UR RANTS. BUT that’s so disappointing 🙁 i hate that sm, im sorry u didn’t like it!! i hate the slow books :/ (unless it’s slowburn romance 🤭) thats kinda how i felt with this book i read called milk fed?? it was just droning on and on and i just wanted it to end,,, and i was so excited to read it bc the topics in the book seemed like important ones to explore but the main character was annoying, the plot build up was annoying, the entire thing was just… so bad.

IF U NEED A CUTE READ, read forget me not by julie soto 🥰(sunshine wedding planner x grumpy florist + enemies to lovers + second chance) i recommend this book to everybody bc it’s my fav romance ive read this year,,, or maybe try love and other words by christina lauren since fall time is coming up (childhood friends to lovers + second chance….fair warning, this one made me cry) BUT OBVIOUSLY U DONT HAVE TO READ THESE, im just throwing out suggestions 🫣

AND ok, i’m about to go on a rant so im so sorry for how long this is about to be.

so like,,, tell me why i finished both the first and second book… i think i already told u abt the first book?? about how i gave it 2.7 stars bc i fucking hated the plot and the third act and the ending … but skye…. THE SECOND ONE… OH MY FUCKING GOD. I KNOW IT’S CRINGE AND PREDICTABLE AND NOT REALLY THAT GOOD, but this book had me kicking my feet and giggling over EVERYTHING… the slow burn… was so good… OMFG i literally hate that i loved it sm like cant keep succumbing to booktok. but yeah, ngl i was blushing the entire time T-T it was sooo long tho. the slowburn was slow as fuck, like i dont think it started picking up till halfway through the book ?? but i think i just discovered that i REALLY like the forbidden romance trope 🫡

so i was telling my coworker and all my friends on goodreads that i needed to take a break from the series bc i felt like i was losing brain cells, but…

so here i am, 40% done with twisted hate. i am not the biggest e2l fan but ,,,, i kinda like this. i dont think it’ll be as good as the second one… but i will keep you updated 🫡 i’ll probably be done with the entire series by this weekend 😭 so sick…

OKAY SORRY FOR THIS CFFHDGHJ

#[ ⭐️: mutuals ! ]#[ ☁️: skye ! ]

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showtoonzfan · 2 years ago

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I get we need lots more LGBT+ representation around in the world, but, like,,, media with straight couples is still going to, y’know, exist??? Wether we like it or not. It may be a little redundant and disappointing to see yet a another straight couple, but just because it’s a movie where the two romantic leads are heterosexual, it doesn’t mean that the movie is automatically going to be bad. Hold your judgements for until it releases.

Sorry if my point sounds offensive or muddled, I just wanted to say my piece.

Agreed, and it’s alright. Like…..here’s my gripe.

I get it, I want more gay stories too, but the hypocrisy really shows when people say they want more cultured stories, and then when they finally get that, they bitch because it doesn’t meet their standards. And once again, the damn movie isn’t even OUT yet. Like I can see where the LGBTQ+ community is coming from, but if you’re a person who’s attacking and bitching about a movie that isn’t even out yet simply because it’s a straight story, then I don’t sympathize with you. And yes, I get that people are also sick of the “forbidden love” trope but just because a movie has a trope that’s been used a lot, doesn’t mean it’s going to be bad, so long as it can add something new and creative to the table. We’ll have to wait and see. But yeah, I didn’t want to say this but people really need to wake up. I get that we all want more gay stories, but people need to realize that it’s fucking DISNEY. We’re never going to get an upfront movie that is a love story between two gay characters, at least not now. The closest we have to that are the Disney channel shows like Luz and Amity from the Owl House, and Molly and Libby from The ghost and Molly Mcgee. Disney doesn’t care about gay people, most of the time they have few gay characters only for clout and people need to realize that, like how they hyped up Lefou from the live action version of Beauty and the Beast, only for the “gay scene” to be 2 seconds long. I’m not saying you can’t want for more and demand more, but honestly at this point, if y’all want more gay media, watch something else and don’t turn to Disney, cause they’re mostly greedy assholes. It’s sad, but it’s the truth, I mean look at what Alex Hirsch had to go through when he was writing Gravity Falls, or how Disney cut out a character in Turning Red that was supposed to be trans, and another character that was going to kiss a female.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to sound like I’m saying “oh the people who keep saying “we want more gay stories” should drop it lol”- cause I’m all for wanting to make a change and expanding on storytelling and media, and people deserve to ask for that, it’s just that they’re doing it in the worst way possible. By shitting on a movie that isn’t even out yet, you’re not getting your point across well. If you want to turn to Disney and ask for more stories regarding the LGBTQ+ community, do something like protesting, or making blogs and having your voice heard. Or, you could work on a story yourself. But again, I wouldn’t be so mad had some of the community not once again acted like jerks (not every member, just referring to the people who are mad at this movie because it’s straight). Y’all need to realize that Disney is the last…the LAST company you should expect to provide you with gay media. I do hope they change some day, but it ain’t ganna be now. Just don’t take it up with a movie that isn’t even freaking out yet.

#ask #my asnwer #my response #anti disney #lgbtq

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kingkatsuki · 3 years ago

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AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED MY COP ASK🥺. it makes me so happy!! here’s a very short story that i think you’ll enjoy.

zeroing in on the black car in front of you, you sighed. Really? Again Bakugou? You had given him a warning the last two times because you felt bad but this was the last straw. Pulling him over to the side you had stepped out of the car and walked over to the drivers side window. Sighing again as he rolled down the tinted windows you placed your arms on the top of the car and leaned down to look through the window.

“ Hey princess” he said with such a smug smirk that almost ALMOST made you smile but you just rolled your eyes and stared at him, “ Do you know how fast you were gong bakugou?”. He simply chuckled and leaned back in his seat. “ yeah I fuckin do, babygirl. whatcha’ gonna do huh? gonna give me a damn ticket?”. Rolling your eyes again you simply grabbed your ticket book and pen out of your pocket and spoke up “ look we both know how this goes, license and registration and then I’ll write you your ticket and we can go. you gotta stop going so fast”. He simply smirked before reaching in the glove compartment and handing you what you needed. “ I only went so fast so I can see you again beautiful and god damn does that uniform make it worth it.”.

You were so sick of him. Him and his flirting. The worst part being that you liked it. Liked him. You found yourself alone in your apartment touching yourself to the thought of him even though you hardly knew him. You had only pulled him over twice before this but that first encounter had left a mark. You guys were almost finished up when you looked over in the passenger seat to see boxing gloves. You quirked your eyebrow. “ I didn’t know you were a boxer? that explains the attire”. You watched as strangely his eyes slightly widened before going back to normal. “ oh yeah um they aren’t fuckin mine tho l, a friends”. you found that weird but nonetheless you handed him back his stuff and went back to your car. thinking about him. was it a friends? he seems protective of it. shrugging it off you started your car to continue your patrol.

On Katsuki’s end he had been fascinated by you since he first saw you when he was on his way to a match when you were patrolling the downtown area. God it was like love at first sight. You were standing in your police officer uniform giving someone a ticket by a leaking meter. He nearly ran into a wall while staring at you. There was something about you that he just could not take his eyes off of you. You were absolutely stunning. Just seeing you that one time made his cock stir in his pants. Your uniform cling to your curves perfectly and your voice was like a drug. He turned down the alleyway to his underground match and there was his first loss in 2 years. He didn’t care. His thoughts were corrupted with you. He had found out where you patrolled normally and started taking that way to his matches. He honestly didn’t care that it took longer. He’d take as many tickets as you gave him as long as he could see you. There was only one problem. The underground boxing that he was doing was illegal. How could he have fallen in love with someone who could potentially put him in jail for a long time?

Anon, honestly you should write this because it’s such a big brained idea. I love the conflicting sides/almost forbidden love relationship trope it works so well.

But like imagine cop reader catching Bakugou at one if the illegal underground boxing fights and she doesn’t bring him in or arrest him, letting him slip away out of one of the back doors as the police try to shut the abandoned warehouse down, and he just places like a lingering kiss on her lips before he runs?

#not mine #bakugou thirst

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elidelochans · 3 years ago

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Just went to the elriel tag to look at their art because I genuinely love them but now I feel somehow. I am fairly new to the fandom and don’t know how things work and that people go all out for shipwars I didn’t know if you don’t ship a certain ship you should stay away from their content they made me feel so icky for shipping elucien they didn’t use the exact words of calling him a creep but there was so many insinuations I legit saw one say that if you ship elain and lucien your weird because why would you ship people that are uncomfortable around each other. Neglecting the fact that there is a reason and deeper meaning to why they have this reaction towards each other and it’s not because elain thinks Lucien is a creep he is literally one of the most respectful males in this series , honestly I didn’t know the fandom was a cutthroat place like this and I do love the contents but it’s a lot for me. I didn’t know who to tell since your practically one of the first eluciens I followed and looking at your page it’s feels like safe space so hope this ask is okay.

First sorry I'm late to the response (my little one was sick and I've been offline 90% of the day). And this is always okay! Anything on your mind Fandom or not send me an ask. I'm happy you think of me as a safe space ❤ ❤

E/riels are a special brand of wild and moronic behavior. Not all but majority of them are some of the biggest immature cyberbullies I've ever witnessed. I'm so sorry you had the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with them.

Elucien is endgame. They can accept it and keep E/riel as fanon or leave the Fandom.

This is what I don't understand. Obviously not every ship in every book, movie, TV, etc will be Canon. We all have tropes we favor and characters we think would be good together. They won't be endgame. They might not even have a relationship. But that doesn't stop fanon. With fics, edits, art, head canons, whatever. Your ship can exist in Ganon. You can have this happy little slice of fanon heaven. I've done it time and time again.

You know what I didn't do? Change narratives in the Canon text to claim them for a fanon ship. I didn't provoke others online for shipping the Canon ship(now if they came for me or my friends it's on but I didn't go into random posts or ask boxes spewing negative. Calling them worthless or far worse because of it.) Anyway, I don't understand why E/riels can't just be satisfied in their own little fanon world. And leave everyone alone.

Lucien isn't a creep. He is kind and very respectful towards Elain. Three. He's given her three years and will continue to give her whatever time she needs to come to terms with bond. He'd never resort to some dumbass duel, cry like a selfish toddler that he's left out, or please himself to a fucking bottle of headache pills. Thats because he values. She means something to him. Even if they broke the bond, he would always be there for Elain. Unlike a certain bat boy who only wants her as a forbidden booty call.

Now that, that's out of the way. Let's talk about this Fandom. I'll be the first to say babes. Alot of this Fandom is toxic. And not just the E/riels. I've seen it from anti sjm, to anti/pro certain ships and characters. Tbh, if I wasn't apart of Star Wars or the HP Fandom. Shipping both Reylo and Dramione....I probably would have left this one.

I understand if you decide to leave this Fandom or take a step back (sometimes it's a good thing!).

However lovely anon. There's alot of us who do love acotar and although we know there's flaws in the characters and the books. We love it dearly. It's a special place in our hearts. You're Fandom experience is what you make of it. What I mean by that is simply if you wanna stay in the Fandom because the series itself do four things as often as you need too:

1. Block the tags

2. Block users

3. Unfollow those that make this experience negative.

4. Don't listen to E/riels (they've twisted so many narratives, have been consistently rude to artists and I believe well known bookstagram accounts too. Might add Vassa X Lucien shippers too. A few of them twist the narrative too in saying Lucien wants Vassa. When we were given those Jurian x Vassa moments. However, I've never had a bad experience with them personally)

Fandom should be fun, not stressful ❤

If you'd like a list of blogs in the Fandom who don't contribute to the negativity let me know. I'll try and get one for you. I hope if you choose to stay that your experience gets better. At the very least you'll have me ❤

#anti e/riel #Fandom wank #ask #answered #anon

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nerdyarchertea · 2 years ago

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Explanation

CW/TW: Yandere trope, venting(in a sense), mature themes(?) etc. I know I don’t owe anyone this explanation, but it just feels that I need to explain.

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Hi everyone, it’s me Katniss. Before you ask why I’m doing this, it’s because I feel that I need to explain why I like the trope. I even put in my introduction post that I will explain later, so this is that explanation. This is going to be long and somewhat in-depth. If I sound narcissistic that is not my intention. If I sound sadistic that is not my intention. My intention explaining why I like this trope is because I feel this way. In the past I wasn’t comfortable with explaining why, I am a little comfortable with explaining but at the same time I don’t feel comfortable explaining, but I need to do this. Let’s break it down in the best way I can.

What does yandere mean? The dere part means love while the yan part means sick. Put together it makes the word lovesick. What is the yandere trope? It’s when someone who is lovesick or someone who is in love with someone to the point of obsession and sanity. It shows how devoted they are to their love interest, and it’s pretty damn strong. Often this results in drastic measures such as murder, kidnapping, drugging, etc.

Are there yanderes in the media? Absolutely. It can present itself in many different ways, often in the form of alternate universes(AUs) or as its own universe. What media revolves around the yandere trope? Well it can result in fanfiction, but it also can become pretty darn popular as well. There’s Future Diary(Mirai Nikki), Yandere Simulator, Your Boyfriend, ASMR roleplays, Chai bots, etc.

Why do I like the trope? Well… Honestly it’s both the horror/psychological part, and somewhat of the romantic part of it. There’s one thing that’s prominent within the trope that is called Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome originated in Stockholm, Sweden during a bank robbery that lasted for 6 days. The hostages became sympathetic to the bank robbers and even stood up for them. Basically it's when someone becomes sympathetic and such for their captor. The horror part is just basically how disturbing they can be, how far they are willing to go for their love. The romantic part is just… Basically the best way I can sum it up is that I have a fear of both abandonment(autophobia) and fear of commitment(gamophobia) to a certain extent. I fear people leaving me without reasons, I fear people abandoning me for someone better, I fear that I will not be committed(even though I was highly committed in my past relationship), my commitment will make my future partner scared of me, I fear that they will find someone who is better than me and plainly state it. The list goes on...

Just knowing that there’s a trope that just gets rid of those fears or reassures those fears temporarily… It’s strangely comforting. Everything about the trope is strange, it’s darkly romantic. They won’t let go and are highly devoted to the person they are in love with so much. It’s horrifying, it’s exciting, it’s… Something out of the ordinary. It’s wrong to like something like this but at the same time, it’s like I feel safe and at home. I guess I am crazy when it comes to love and stuff, and how it skewers my perception of love and such.

I wasn’t a sucker for romance until later in life. Sure I did roleplay some aspects of it, but I wasn’t necessarily a sucker for it until later. What’s even greater when it comes to this trope is if the love interest is as crazy as the yandere. It’s forbidden yet so appealing I can’t really describe it. It’s destruction, it’s chaos, and it stems from love. Now the more I talk it sounds like I am romanticizing it in a way that it shouldn't be.

Let me make one thing very clear, the yandere trope is really problematic. There are problematic creators around this trope and problematic media as well. I am aware that the yandere trope is problematic, I know it’s problematic. This is where the line blurs when it comes to problematic media and such so I won’t touch on that.

Anyway, this has been my explanation.

#I told y'all I was going to do this.

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join-the-joywrite · 4 years ago

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and I don't want to (but I love you)

@jatp-week Day 6: favourite trope

Not me doing a self-indulgent and stupidly long enemies to lovers au :>

Julie Molina didn't have enemies in her life. She had competitors, sure. Everyone did. But Sunset Curve took the whole cake. She didn't have enemies but Luke Patterson came dangerously close.

Luke Patterson, on the other hand, fully considered Julie Molina his number one enemy. He had zero qualms about saying that to her face and behind her back. He knew his band was the best but Julie had a real knack for knocking his ego down a bit and he hated her for it. Maybe he wouldn't get so riled up if she was nice about it or if not nice, she was less nasty and more stern. Honestly, it seemed like she took pleasure in criticizing Sunset Curve.

The rivalry between them extended to their bands and friend circles. Well, for the most part, anyway. Julie and Luke let Willie and Alex get away with their little forbidden lovers thing because they both thought the pair was cute together. It was pretty much the only thing they agreed on. Ever.

Willie only ever talked about Alex, not the band and Alex made sure to steer clear of mentioning Julie whenever he talked about Willie. The arrangement worked for all sides.

Julie and Luke's rivalry extended far beyond their music. It crept into their classes and had them fighting for the top spot. The teachers were thrilled. It meant Luke put in as much effort as he possibly could into every assignment or test. Even if it was out of pure spite, it was working.

And then, oh dear, and then there was a group project. Obviously, they split to opposite ends of the room with their friends to choose pairs (except Willie and Alex, who were shoved together and assured it was perfect) but apparently, it was important to learn how to work with people you dislike because in the workplace you might be forced to work with people you dislike -- or something like that.

Julie and Luke had never let their rivalry coerce them into doing stupid things -- except the one time where Carrie was convinced Luke could hold his breath longer and Julie almost drowned in the school pool to prove Carrie wrong -- but the moment they were paired up, Julie and Luke both wanted nothing more than to break several school rules, vandalism being the top one and starting violent fights being the second. It was unclear if they wanted to fight each other or their teacher.

Matters were made worse when their friends got to pair off together on their own terms while they were stuck with each other. The only thing keeping them from completely refusing to do any work was that they both were still competing for the highest scores.

Their friends had never been more entertained and the two opposing groups bonded over watching the two most stubborn people they knew suffer out a school project together. The clear awkwardness between them was hilarious and it was a pleasant thing to see them sitting at the same table and not trying to verbally murder each other. Bobby turned out to be the funniest person in the whole group. He had a meme-y caption for every moment they caught of Julie and Luke sitting near enough to have a normal conversation and the others loved it. He also seemed to be able to relate all the memes to the pair and was strangely good at photoshop, which earned him the Groupchat King title. (Julie and Luke were completely unaware of this groupchat excluding only them -- which, for the others' safety, was for the best.) Flynn's favourite was a photo of Julie with a feral look on her face, miming strangling a smug Luke. Me & 2020 was Bobby's winning caption. She wasn't sure which was which and that made it even better, in her opinion.

As the weeks passed, Julie and Luke's rivalry mellowed. As far as they said, it was still going strong but their actions told another story. There were playful nudges in the hallway, now. Teasing death glares across a classroom. Locked gazes and stifled giggles at inside jokes -- the fact that they even had those was surprising enough. They willingly shared a lunch table for the sole purpose of interrupting a mini date between Willie and Alex but most of it was spent in their own world anyway. Their mockery of each other had become gentler and more harmless teasing than anything.

And then one Tuesday, Luke didn't show up at school.

Of course, Luke's band knew exactly what was up, but they -- with support from Julie's friends -- decided it would be fun to play dumb and send Julie to Luke's house, just to check up on him, you know, despite the fact that the group project was long over and she really had no need to meddle further into Luke's life. The mere fact that Julie forgot she still had class and was seriously ready to leave immediately said a lot.

"I can promise you that it's really not as bad as it looks," Luke said from under several pillows, a puffy duvet and maybe three stuffed animals, "but there's no band practice today and I'm not coming to school tomorrow either so can one of you flick Julie's forehead for me? It's tradition."

"Band practice, huh?" Julie said, dropping her bag on the floor with a soft thud. "And here I thought you just had nothing more interesting going on in your life than disrupting mine."

Luke sat up fast enough that his head spun, his vision swam and two pillows fell off the bed. "Who told you where I live?"

"You did, dork. Here, I brought your homework and my dad's trying something out in the kitchen. He misread balf the recipe so it's the blandest thing I've ever tasted but if you're sick, it'll be good for you."

Luke responded to the bit that made sense. "I don't want bland food," he said, scrunching up his nose as Julie set a small stack of papers on the desk in the corner and walked up to him with a covered bowl.

"As if you'd know the difference. Your mom said you can't taste anything anyway."

"You talked to my mom?" Luke asked, looking mortified.

"Yeah, duh. What, did you think I climbed through your bedroom window? I don't care that much for you."

"Aww, I knew you cared for me."

Julie didn't respond to it. "So this is supposed to be a vegetable stew," she said, tapping the plastic wrap over the bowl, "but like I said, mistakes were made."

"Well, what is it then?" Luke asked, leaning over to peer at the bowl.

"I'd call it . . . semi-flavoured water with surprise veggies."

"Joy."

"I know, right? Anyway, I'll leave you to your . . . pillow fort? Cute stuffies. I have the same penguin."

Luke glanced at the penguin that was still secured in his arm. "Don't you dare tell your friends. Especially not Flynn. She's ruthless."

"She is not. But fine, only because you're sick. I'll be back for my bowl tomorrow and it better be empty."

Luke watched Julie leave with a look of amazement. As soon as he heard his front door close, footsteps pattered through the hallway, leading up to his mother sticking her head in his room. "I like her."

"I'm going back to sleep," Luke said, diving back into the safety of all his pillows, wondering if it was the fever or Julie that set his cheeks blazing.

Probably the fever.

"Good afternoon, dork. Reggie says you said you liked the semi-flavoured water and my dad felt very appreciated by that so he's made some actual stew for you to try. It's beef stew this time so please don't get surprised. Did you do yesterday's homework? You should, because I brought today's. How do you feel?"

Luke, who had been staring at Julie with his mouth slightly open in a perfect picture of surprise, blinked when he realised she'd stopped speaking. "Don't you knock?!"

"Your mom said you were asleep and I could just leave everything here for you but you were awake so. . ." Julie trailed off, shrugging.

"You . . . you are so strange."

Julie shrugged as she set the homework down on the desk and walked up to the nightstand to put the covered bowl down in Luke's reach. "You need to come back to school. I feel bad bullying your friends."

"I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that," Luke said sarcastically. He paused for a second. "Yeah, I did the homework. Most of it. My mom said it'll help to get out of bed and do something. I tried to play the guitar but she was adamant I didn't do that something."

Julie nodded and walked back to Luke's desk. She rifled through the mess and picked up all the homework. "I'll finish this essay for you," she said almost absently, searching among the pages. "Please tell me you did your science homework. I got a lot of that wrong and no one wants to give me the answers because apparently, I should learn my work."

"Uh . . . yeah. Um, yeah, I did the science. Wh-- what do you mean 'do the essay' for me?"

Julie looked up as she gathered everything into a pile of messy and uneven papers. "It's on the African American civil rights movement. It's factual and ninety percent of the class will have the same essay anyway so--"

"No. No, I mean . . . why?"

"Oh. Uh . . . why not?"

Luke didn't have a response, so he fell silent.

"Well, that's all of yesterday's homework. Get some rest and then make sure you eat. I can't have my favourite punching bag get too weak to take a hit."

As Julie turned and left his room, Luke felt the sudden urge to scream, so instead, he slammed his burning face into his favourite penguin. Yes, she had called him a punching bag, but she'd also called him her favourite.

"Music class just isn't the same without booing you. Also, Alex said you managed to keep the beef stew down yesterday so my dad thought you could try something a little heavier. This is an experimental chicken and fried rice . . . thing. I do not reccomend eating unless you're sure you're okay enough for a full meal. That said, I brought more beef stew in case you're not up for the chicken and rice."

"You can't just walk in unannounced!" Luke cried as Julie set down the two bowls on the nightstand.

"I can, actually," Julie said, flashing a set of keys at Luke.

Luke's jaw dropped when he recognized the keychains. "Hey, those are mine!"

"Wow, so observant. Your mom gave it to me before I left yesterday because your dad is at work and she needed to go out today and with you holed up in here, there wouldn't be anyone to open for me."

Luke frowned. "Oh, yeah, she said something like that but I was half-asleep."

Julie was pleasantly surprised to find Luke's homework neatly gathered at the corner of the desk. It didn't escape her how Luke seemed to glow with pride when she commented on it. She had to fight a smile as she dropped Luke's homework into her bag.

"Get some rest, dork. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call someone from Sunset Swerve. I'll be busy."

"It's Sunset CURVE and you know it."

"Really? I never noticed."

Luke pouted. "Tuxedo Sam says you're being very mean right now. I'm sick and I deserve care."

"Well, you can tell your stupid penguin that Skipper will beat his ass."

"You named your penguin after the penguins from Madagascar?"

"You call yours Tuxedo Sam."

"Yeah, okay, that's fair."

Julie rolled her eyes and turned to leave. "Take a nap, Moody McSleeveless."

Luke glanced at the penguin laying nearby as he heard Julie lock up the house again. "Don't look at me like that, she's mean all the time."

"I BROUGHT CAKE!"

Luke scrambled up, launching Tuxedo Sam off the bed. "Who died?"

"No one died," Julie said, picking up the penguin as she walked up to Luke's bed. "It's Friday and since you're doing a little better, I thought you could do with a small treat. Tuxedo Sam agrees."

"Give me back my penguin," Luke said, reaching both arms out to Julie.

"Did you do yesterday's homework?"

"Yes."

"Did you really eat both bowls of food yesterday?"

"Yes."

"And keep it down?"

"Yes, ma'am, now can I please have my penguin back?"

Julie passed Luke the stuffed animal. "You're adorable," she blurted, turning away immediately to hide her own stunned look. She cleared her throat as she headed to the desk to grab Luke's homework. "So, that group project? We got a ninety-five."

That distracted Luke easily enough. "What happened to the other five?!"

"We're very bad at teamwork," Julie said, glancing back at Luke over her shoulder to see him relax against the pillows.

"Ah. That . . . makes sense."

Julie nodded. "Mhm."

The silence that blanketed the room wasn't as awkward as it should have been.

"I have to go. Most of the teachers said it would be okay to get your homework on Monday, but Mr Hughes is on my tail about your chemistry paper. My dad is making cupcakes tonight for some reason and I told Willie he could have some, so I'll send extra with him to give to Alex to give to you, but enjoy that crappy store cake for now. I left proper lunch with your mom for when you feel like it."

It didn't register that the only reason Mr Hughes would be harassing Julie about Luke's homework was if Julie herself had taken responsibility for Luke. Well, it did register, but by then, Julie was long gone and the only response Luke could muster was a muffled scream into poor Tuxedo Sam.

"Oh, ew, gross. Luke, it smells like the middle school locker room in here. What were you doing?"

Luke had never looked more sheepish in his life as he pointed to the canister on his nightstand -- right next to his alarm clock. "My phone went off about an hour ago and I thought it was the alarm so I did the smart thing and slammed it down but I missed. Obviously."

Holding her nose, Julie dropped everything she was carrying on Luke's table and tore the curtains open, pushing the windows as far as they could go. She stood there for a moment, relishing in the fresh air. "I'll come back inside when I can breathe," Julie said, halfway out the window.

Luke wanted to melt into his pillows. A week later and he was only feeling slightly better. The pros of it was that Julie visited every day with something tasty and a level of snark that only amused him. The cons of it was that Julie visited every day and left him flustered and red in the face.

He firmly believed that Julie only came by every day because she had homework to drop off, but today was Saturday. There was no more homework to drop off.

And she could have just backtracked right out the door again but instead, she headed for the windows on the other side of his room. Why?

Because she's taking care of you, dork.

Luke couldn't help but think that the logical voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Julie.

"Hey, my parents have some stupid couple's yoga thing on Saturdays. Did you break in?"

Julie pulled the windows halfway closed and stepped back into the room. "No, I still have your keys. Your dad tried to give me the spare key to the front door but your mom said it'll be fine if I kept yours until you're back on your feet."

"Wow. She really trusts you, huh?"

Julie shrugged. "I'm a very trustworthy person."

"No, you're not. I saw you lose a pen that you stuck behind your ear and then you proceeded to lose three more by tucking them behind your other ear and in your pockets. You then tried to steal mine."

"I was fourteen," Julie said defensively.

"It happened last week!"

"I felt fourteen."

Luke gave Julie a deadpan look.

"Cute pyjamas."

"I know, right? Bobby got us matching ones when we were like fifteen for band bonding. I mean, I grew out of the pants but the shirt still fits."

Julie scoffed as she stared at the dark haired cartoon smiling at her from the pink shirt. "Looks really good on you, Skip."

"Hey, I like being Skipper. She's Barbie's most intelligent sister."

"Oh, yeah?" Luke didn't even notice that Julie had made herself comfortable at the foot of his bed. "And if you're Skipper, who are the others?"

"Bobby is Chelsea, 'cause he's the youngest of us, Alex is Barbie, 'cause his summer jobs have been everywhere, and Reg is Stacie, 'cause she's Bobby's favourite and Bobby's favourite bandmate is Reg."

Julie's head tilted slightly. "You sound drunk."

"The bottle said one teaspoon of cough syrup but I didn't read and I took two tablespoons. It's okay, though. Mom panicked and called the doctor and he says the cough syrup he gave me is for kids and I'm just really, really, really intolerant. Which you should remember for me because I plan to be super famous with the band and there are gonna be a lot of after parties and I don't wanna get drunk five minutes in. I think the cough syrup is kicking in."

"Luke Patterson, you are unbelievable."

"I know, right?" He attempted a winning smile, but it came off as plain childlike.

Julie chastised herself for finding him adorable. They were mortal enemies and she had to remember that. Then what are you doing in his room on a Saturday, after explicitly telling the rest of his band to stay away?

Julie found it unnerving how much the voice in her head sounded like a teasing Luke.

"You're like, really annoying."

Julie frowned. "I -- I'm sorry?"

"You should be." Luke was sitting cross-legged now, fiddling with the ears of a stuffed bunny. "It's really messing with my head."

Julie decided she liked tipsy Luke -- even if it was just cough syrup. "How so?"

"No, it's nothing."

"You can tell me, Luke. I promised not to tell anyone about your stuffed animals and I kept it, right?"

"Yeah, but this time the secret about you. You're not allowed to know."

Curiosity more than anything made Julie lean forward slightly. "It'll be our secret."

"Okay, but you have to promise not to talk about it."

Julie nodded quickly. Luke tugged at the bunny's ears for a moment.

"You're like . . . really pretty."

Julie couldn't help the soft laugh that bubbled out of her. Adorable, she thought.

"Like, a lot of pretty. You're pretty on the inside, too."

"On the inside?"

"Yeah. On the inside. You know, your heart."

"M-my heart?"

Luke nodded at his stuffed rabbit. "Yeah. You have a really pretty heart. It beats like a drum. Making music. Like you."

Julie's mouth hung open, surprise silencing her.

"You have the prettiest music in you. I can hear it like -- like a song that gets stuck in my head all day. It's really annoying but it's so pretty. It smells like flowers and it looks like butterflies."

At this point, Julie didn't think she'd be able to speak, even if she knew what to say. Luke was talking to the stuffed animal, frowning as he struggled to voice his thoughts understandably.

"Sometimes it's just so loud and I wanna cover my ears and run away but it just gets louder and louder and then you come over and you're saying something mean but the music is there and it's not so loud anymore but I still can't hear anything else. Your heart sounds like a ballad."

Julie was frozen to her seat at the edge of the bed. Part of her wondered if it was Luke talking or the fever. Part of her desperately hoped it was Luke.

"Julie, you are music."

It was a simple sentence. Anyone could have said it. It could mean a lot or it could mean nothing at all. If anyone else had said it to her, she would have taken it as the highest form of a compliment. But that wasn't what Luke was saying.

Everyone knew that Luke spoke best through lyrics and chords. His books and desks were covered in etched notes and scribbled words. Luke lived and breathed music. It was everything to him. Without it, Luke didn't know who he was.

And he compared it to Julie.

Julie stared at the text on her phone. She bit her lower lip, unsure of what to say in response.

Mom said you visited yesterday. I was dazed for most of it. I didn't say anything stupid or incriminating, right? Not that anything could be more incriminating than the three stuffed animals on my bed.

Ten minutes after that, another had come through. Jules, are you ignoring me? Did I do something?

Then another five minutes later. This is still Julie Molina's number, right?

Julie quickly typed out something before she chickened out again and tossed her phone to the foot of her bed once it was sent.

Hey. Got busy in the kitchen with dad. No, you're good. See you at school tomorrow?

Julie scrambled for her phone to send one last word.

A few streets away, Luke stared at the word 'dork'. He was sure he had said something. He vaguely remembered yapping on about music to Julie -- duh, what else did they share? -- and then suddenly, she wasn't there anymore. He wondered if he'd fallen asleep talking and Julie had left then or if he really had said something to make her leave.

Yeah, he wrote back, see you at school.

Luke cornered Julie as soon as he caught sight of her in the school hallway. "You've been ignoring me and I don't like that."

Julie squeaked. "I most definitely am not ignoring you."

"Julie, you're pretty much the only person in this school that doesn't keep their phone on mute or vibrate. I know you heard my texts yesterday."

"So what if I am?" Julie asked, folding her arms. "We're not friends, so why should you care if I reply to your texts or not? In fact, why were you even messaging me in the first place?"

While Luke fumbled for a response, Julie slipped past him and continued on her way to class.

"Oh, that is just rude!" Luke yelled after Julie.

She ignored him all through any classes they shared and when lunch rolled around, she made sure to sit with Carrie and Flynn at a small table. Luke had never looked more offended in his life as he joined Reggie in sitting with Alex and Willie.

"What did you do on Saturday?" Alex asked, leaning forward to whisper. "Julie was fine when she told us we don't need to come by at all."

"Julie told you not to come over?" Luke asked, ripping his gaze from Julie to Alex and then Reggie, who shook his head.

"Bro, she actually called Alex and told him that we don't need to come see you because she was going to."

"Yeah, I remember her being there but I was drugged up on cough syrup."

"Weak," Alex whispered loudly, grinning when he made Willie laugh.

"Maybe you said something?" Willie suggested.

"Yeah, probably! But she's not talking to me. She's not even insulting me, which I would very much prefer over this apathy."

"You know where she lives," Reggie said dismissively. "Maybe you should pay her a visit."

Luke glanced across the cafeteria to see Julie quickly whip her head down to stare at her fold. "Yeah. Maybe."

Julie was tired and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. Her plans were thrown way off the rails when she walked into her room and found Luke petering around the shelves beside her bed.

"What are you doing here?"

Luke drew his hand back sharply. "Cute box. What's in it?"

"None of your business," Julie snapped, hurriedly closing her bedroom door. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you but you were ignoring me and--"

"You could've just yelled at me from outside," Julie hissed. "I would have come down to shut you up! You can't be in here. Get out of my room."

"No. Not until you tell me why you've been avoiding me since Saturday. Jules, what--"

"Fine! Go and wait for me in the garage. I'll come talk to you in there."

Luke hesitated, unsure if Julie was serious.

When she heard footsteps getting closer, Julie grabbed Luke by the neckline of his shirt and dragged him to the window. "Get out," she whispered hurriedly, "I'll come down to the garage, I promise."

Thankfully, by the time her father arrived, Luke was gone.

"Who were you talking to, mija?"

"Luke," Julie said with a smile. She pointed at the phone. "He liked the cupcakes I sent with Willie."

"Oh, that's great. You didn't take something yesterday and today? Is he feeling better?"

"Much," Julie said, nodding, "in fact, we have some talking to do, so I'm gonna meet him in the garage in a few minutes."

"So late?"

Julie absolutely could not lie to her dad. But she could do half truths. "It's a long overdue discussion."

"School work?"

Julie shrugged. "Music."

"Ah. The garage makes sense. Well, do you wanna take some food down? Midnight snack?"

"Thanks, dad," Julie said with a smile, "you're the best."

"Oh, your dad is the best!" Luke cried as soon as he saw Julie walk in with a plate of cookies.

"These are experimental, too. They're some kind of oatmeal and choc mint blend. They taste good, in my opinion."

"Everything your dad makes tastes good," Luke said, grabbing three cookies. "My mom's starting to get jealous of how much I love your dad's cooking."

Juli smiled and set the plate down on the coffee table. Was there any point beating around the bush? Sugarcoating things?

"You told me I was music."

Luke paused, one and a half cookies gone. "What?"

Julie kept her gaze trained on the tassels of the carpet. "You told me I'm annoying . . . because I'm pretty. Because I have a pretty heart. You said it beats like a drum and I have the prettiest music in me that gets stuck in your head. It --"

"Smells like spring and looks like butterflies. . ." Luke looked positively mortified.

Julie, refusing to look up, did not notice. "You said . . . you said my heart sounds like a ballad and then -- and then you told me I am music."

Had he really said all that aloud? Well, no wonder Julie was avoiding him like the plague.

Julie tensed up when she could see Luke's feet step in front of her. Almost every part of her screamed that this was wrong. They shouldn't be so close without bickering and fighting. But deeper within, beyond the confines of logic and sense, Luke's voice told her that this was the furthest thing from wrong.

"I said all that? Aloud?"

Julie nodded.

"You know what music is to me."

Julie nodded again.

"Jules," Luke said gently. "Julie, look at me."

Julie refused to, so Luke gingerly tucked his finger under her chin and lifted her head, waiting until her gaze fell on him before speaking.

"You know what music is to me," he said again, prompting another nod from Julie. "Then you know what you mean to me."

Julie blinked a few times and shook her head. "No. No, that's just the fever talking. You -- you didn't really mean all of that."

"If you really believe that, why are you avoiding me?"

"I . . . I don't know."

Luke dropped his hand to take hold of Julie's. He glanced at her, waiting for her to pull away. When she didn't, he interlocked his fingers with hers. "I meant every word. Okay, maybe not literally, but you know what I mean."

Julie shook her head. "We're not even friends, Luke."

"Hm, well, who said I wanted to be your friend?"

Julie wanted to hate Luke. She wanted to loathe the sight of him. She didn't want to like him, let alone love him.

And yet, she did.

So before the overthinker in her could stop her, Julie leaned up on tiptoes and brushed her lips against his. Luke beamed at her like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Not the response I was expecting, but definitely one I'm enjoying."

"Don't make me regret it."

"Yes, ma'am. Now, what are my chances of getting two more? And one for the road? Within the next five seconds becaus my mom doesn't know I snuck out and she think I'm still sick."

"Dork," Julie said fondly, shaking her head.

"I'm serious!"

"You can have two."

"Three."

"Two."

"Four."

"One."

"Two will do," Luke said, letting go of Julie's hands to wrap his arms around her. He gave her a small squeeze. "Plus a hug."

"Dork," Julie said again. But he was her dork and he was her favourite.

Before anyone comes for me about the cough syrup thing, I'm drawing from experience. I mean I never confessed my undying love for anyone but I did blurt out some weird shit. Also, THAT WAS LONG AND IF YOU SURVIVED THE ENTIRE THING, CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU

Mara's masterlist

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the fat ones #julie and the himbos #jatp #juke #julie x luke #julie molina #luke patterson #sunset curve #jatpweek

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the-queen-clarion · 3 years ago

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ROMO - Forbidden Love/OG Twilight Couple Goals/Lovers to Friends to Lovers Again/Amnesia

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word. "What a stupid lamb," I sighed. "What a sick, masochistic lion.”

Listen. I have loved Romo for a long time. They’ve been through so much! Honestly the whole concept of a fairy/vampire romance when one could definitely kill the other and there being that very real threat in between that means they SHOULDN’T be together. Like all the signs point that they shouldn’t but they do anyway. I think that’s so beautiful.

And then of course it didn’t just STOP there. You know the forbidden love angst and all that of course is some great dramatic tension, but then you have them break up and Robbie becoming human and forgetting things and so you have that OTHER classic trope: the amnesia which leads to them connecting again and the love building again on Robbie’s side.

And now they’re close again and doing things on their own terms, and Nemo is able to love people freely the way that he’s always wanted to. I think the fact that Robbie is so content with himself and with that and where they’ve come is just awesome. Less love triangles. More free love.

@justkeepdancing-nemo @robbie-ryeo

#swyntask #justkeepdancing-nemo #robbie-ryeo

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i-see-no-whump-up-here · 3 years ago

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Whumpmas in July (Day 21): Secret

Ooh, if there’s one trope I love, it’s forbidden relationships. They’re so ripe with angst and whump. Rose has been one of my earliest OC’s. I used to rp her with Batman characters, but she’s grown into a character on her own right. Colby is also relatively new, and he’s a detective who can be too bold for his own good.

CW: forbidden relationship, minor kissing, mild whump, emotional angst, forced to hurt someone

———

Colby tugged Rose into the broom closet and pushed her against the wall. “Hey babe,” He greeted, and then he kissed her. Rose furrowed her brow, and she pushed him back.

“Where did you come from? And why are you dressed up as a janitor?” She demanded.

Colby shrugged. “Work.” Rose scoffed.

“Yeah, ok. Are you trying to get us caught?!”

“I just missed you,” Colby said, and this time she let him kiss her. She squeezed his hand.

“I missed you too,” Rose admitted. She listened for anyone outside. “There’s too many of my father’s men around. I don’t want to get caught.”

“Fine,” Colby rolled his eyes. He wasn’t actually upset. They both knew they’d be toast if anyone discovered she was dating a special agent, but he could pretend. “I’ll catch you later.”

“Yeah. Bye,” Rose said. Colby reached for the door, and then he paused.

“So what business were you doing for him in Chicago?”

“Ha,” Rose huffed. “Cute.” Colby smiled sheepishly.

“I had to try.”

“No work talk,” Rose reminded. “And don’t get caught.”

Colby pouted at her. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get caught either.” and then he slipped out.

—

“We caught a nark rooting around,” One of father’s enforcers huffed. Rose felt her stomach drop, but she forced her face to remain neutral.

“Oh?” She asked. Her mind flitted through inconspicuous ways to get more attention. “My father must be pissed.”

“Oh he is,” The enforcer whistled. “Some of the guys are working on softening him up so we can weed out what he’s figured out so far. We don’t know who he reports to, either.”

“How did he get in?” Rose asked.

“Posing as janitorial staff. Mr. Cheney wants to fire all of them.”

“Are you sure they knew?” Rose questioned. Colby always pushed his superiors to keep everyone around him safe. He hated the collateral damage that came with their line of work, and he was one of the ones inside of the law.

“I’m pretty sure pennies would be a pay raise over what they normally get, so the cops would be dumb to not bribe the janitors for a way in.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Rose forced herself to say. She perked up, as if her phone had buzzed, and she pulled it out of her pocket, checking it. Luckily, she always had an array of notifications on her screen, so she managed to excuse herself. “Ah shit. I forgot an appointment. See you later!”

—

Rose shifted foot to foot in the elevator, praying no one would see her. She held her master key in one hand and her phone in the other. She’d have to delete the log of her unlocking the door immediately after she did it, so she had her back-end console access pulled up already. The doors dinged. They opened.

The hallway wasn’t empty. There were a handful of men on guard, and Rose recognized her father’s personal bodyguard, Gianni. But shit— she was already here, and leaving suddenly would be suspicious. She walked forward, drawing the attention of everyone in the hall. Her legs felt like jelly as she made it to Gianni. He didn’t ask why she was there— bless him.

“He’s in one of his moods again. The nark had bad timing,” Gianni murmured. The door remained cracked open, and Rose heard her father’s angry voice. She worried what was behind it, but she needed to show a reason for being here. Rose slipped inside.

Colby was a bloody mess. Blood streaked down his face from his nose and a cut on his temple. His cheekbone showed the beginning signs of bruising, and his clothes were rumpled and dirty. He sat cuffed in a chair, and the furniture in the room had been pushed to the corners to clear out an area for the man.

Colby’s face morphed with surprise at the sight of his girlfriend, but he tried to cover it up as Roman Cheney turned to look at her. He adjusted the rings on his fingers. “Ah. Dear…”

Rose smelled the alcohol on his breath. He only drank when something major bothered him, and as terrible as this was, she didn’t think Colby could be the sole cause. As her father looked at her expectantly, her brain fumbled for a cause.

“I ran into a cop at the coffee shop last week— just wanted to check if it was the same guy,” She lied. Sort of. She had seen a cop at a coffee shop out of her way, and it was Colby, but no, that wasn’t why she was here. Roman looked between her and Colby.

“Is it?”

“No,” Rose rocked onto the front of her feet and then set back. “Sorry to interrupt.” She stepped back toward the door.

“No, no,” Her father waved his hand flippantly. “I told you I wanted you to get more involved in my affairs. Come! Soften this nobody up.” Rose glanced at Colby warily.

“Um… you know I don’t like to get my hands dirty,” Rose started slowly. Roman brushed the rejection off, already pulling his rings off his fingers. He grabbed Rose’s hands and transferred them to her much smaller fingers. She tried to pull away. “I really don’t want to get—“

“Shh! Blow some steam!” Roman encouraged. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her in front of Colby, and then he stepped back. “Punch him.”

“What?”

“Give him a little punch. You know how,” Roman prodded. Rose fidgeted with the rings. Colby stared up at her. Rose looked over her shoulder at her father, who was waiting patiently. Even in his drunken state, he’d be able to recognize something was amiss. Rose’s arm felt heavier than usual as she lifted it up. She forced herself to steady the slight shake.

Rose punched Colby in the face. The punch was rather weak, and honestly, it probably didn’t hurt him much except for the bulky rings. Colby just glanced up at her. Roman apparently noticed that. “Come on! What do I pay your personal trainer for?!”

“I—“ Rose started an excuse, but then she just punched him again. This time still felt weak. Roman grumbled and took hold of Rose’s closed fist. She tried to cover up. “I just haven’t punched anyone for real before. I’m overthinking it.”

Roman hummed in thought and looked around the room. He brightened with an idea. Rose watched him move toward a dismantled cubicle, and she managed a mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’ to Colby. He shook his head. They needed to keep their cover.

Roman got to the desk and grabbed the keyboard drawer. He tugged on it, and after some jiggling, he actually broke the whole thing off of the desk. He dumped the office supplies out as he walked back to Rose and presented it to her. “Here! Just swing and commit to it. It’ll feel easier.”

Rose stared at him. She couldn’t hit Colby with this. Even at a low speed, the particle board could hurt him. She tentatively took the drawer in her hands, turning it over to display the flat side. Roman still waited for her to hit him, appearing genuinely entertained by today’s violence. She knew he wasn’t letting her get out of this.

Rose lifted her hands a bit higher and shakily pulled the drawer back. Colby shut his eyes and turned his face away in anticipation. Rose swung the drawer as hard as she could.

The cheap building material burst upon hitting his face, splitting in half. Colby yelled in pain.The far half clattered onto the floor a second later, and Rose clutched her half far too tightly. Colby’s cheek flared red from the impact. Rose wanted to be sick. She wanted to touch Colby’s face and nurse the bruises better, as she’d done so many times before, under the secret of anonymity and shady meeting spots. She wanted to kiss it better.

“See? Wasn’t that better?” Roman demanded, and he took the half out of Rose’s grip. He used it to backhand Colby, and a fresh stream of blood soon leaked from his nose. Roman tossed the debris aside and clapped his hand down on his daughter’s shoulder. “Atta girl. Now, why don’t you run along? Go get a manicure for these soft hands. It’s on me.”

Roman lifted Rose’s hands to his face and kissed them before taking his rings back from her. “This young rascal and I here still have some business to attend to. In fact, he still hasn’t told me his name. Can you believe that?! I’ll just keep asking.”

The captured man’s name pressed against Rose’s lips, but she knew to keep it in. Colby.

#wij21day21 #whumpmas in july #Colby Kaye #Rose Isley #Roman Cheney #Gianni #Gianni the bodyguard #my ocs #my oc #my writing #forbidden love #forbidden relationship #whump #undercover #caught #drunk fathers #blunt force trauma #punching with rings

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