#Home Meat Cutting Machine

[prokitchendeals]

The Meat And Bone Cutting Machine: A Must-Have For The Home Cook

Meat and bone cutting machines are essential in the kitchen for making delicious, tender meat and poultry. In this article, we will discuss some tips on how to get the most out of your machine, so that you can create beautiful dishes in no time

What is a Meat and Bone Cutting Machine?

If you're in the market for a Meat Bone Cutter Machine For Home there are a few things you should keep in mind. First, make sure the machine has the necessary horsepower. Second, consider what kind of blades or teeth it has. And finally, be sure to read the operator's manual carefully so you know how to use it properly. Here are some tips on getting the most out of your meat and bone cutting machine:

To start with, make sure your machine has enough horsepower. A machine that has less horsepower will not be able to handle tough cuts of meat as well. Secondly, consider what type of blades or teeth your machine comes equipped with. Some machines come with serrated blades that help cut through tougher meats more easily. Others may have straight razor-like blades that are perfect for finer cuts of meat. And lastly, always read the operator's manual carefully before using your machine. This will help familiarize yourself with all of its features and allow you to get the most out of your purchase.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Bf!Skz reaction to you randomly spanking them

pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

genre: fluff, suggestive

warnings: none i think? (lmk)

a/n: just a little something while i decide what to write next bcs i have too many ideas🥲

~ check out: Masterlist

Chan:

You're at your boyfriend's studio, and as much as you admire his process of writing and producing songs, you're becoming bored.

It looks like he completely forgot about your presence as he works away while you sit on the couch, playing with your phone.

You huff but Chan doesn't even budge and at this point you're sure he's teasing you on purpose.

He stands up and leans over the table to grab something and you take that as your chance. You quickly stand up and slap his butt as hard as you can, hurting your hand in the process and making him jolt forwards as he grabs at the end of the table.

Chan turns around to look at you, a mix of surprise and slyness on his face, his cheeks dusted in pink.

"I sure hope you know what you just started, love."

Lee Know:

You and your boyfriend are in the kitchen, cooking dinner together. It feels like both of you have fallen into a trance, working together like you were a well oiled machine.

Some light music plays in the background as you cut some vegetables while Minho prepares the meat.

He turns his back to you slightly as he grabs some spices and you look up from your task, your eyes falling to his ass.

You smirk and lift your hand up before smacking his ass and watching it jiggle. The way he turned around slowly like a cat, his eyes judgy and a sly smirk on his lips.

"What are you doing kitten?"- he asks.

"Learning from the best."- you shrug nonchalantly.

"Hold that thought until after dinner."

Changbin:

It's a chilly autumn Friday night, but you're not cold at all.

In fact, you're sweating because your boyfriend suggested for the two of you to spend the evening in the gym.

You protested at first, but he was adamant on blending two of his favorite activities together in his rare free time; spending time with you and working out.

You slowly get into it and the physical exertion, the heat in your body plus your sexy boyfriend looking extra delicious while he works on his muscles bring a different kind of warmness between your legs.

Changbin moves around before bending over to pick up the bottle of water he left on the side and you can't help it, your hand flying on its own and smacking his ass so hard that you think your hand might fall off.

"Yah!"- he yells out, clearly startled as he grabs at his ass. "What's that for?"

"You're so hot, Binnie. I couldn't resist."- you bat your eyelashes innocently at him as he narrows his eyes and smirks.

His face is flushed from the work out but you swear it looks even more red now.

"Yeah? Wanna go home and show me how much you can't resist me?"

Hyunjin:

Hyunjin and you decided to avoid the summer heat by going to the pool.

Sadly, the sea was too far away and you didn't have much free time to actually make a trip there, so the pool had to suffice.

Both of you didn't mind though, you were happy to splash around and play in the water together, enjoy your time like you had no worries on your mind.

You stayed in the pool for a fairly long time and Hyunjin swam towards the steps first. You followed him and watched as he stood up and walked out of the water, his body on display for you, his muscles tense as droplets of water slid down his spine.

His cute little perky ass got your attention and you hurried up as he turned and waited for you.

"Let's get changed."- you ushered him to the showers and he chuckled at your sudden eagerness to leave.

As soon as you were as far away from other people as you could be, your hand collided with his ass, echoing in the empty hall.

Hyunjin yelped, doubling down dramatically and almost falling to his knees.

Even your hand burned because of the impact on his wet swim trunks.

"Why would you hurt me like that?!"- he whined, grabbing at the wall and making a show of it.

"You've taken worse."- you smirk at his antics and he chuckled, his cheeks red.

"Don't talk about that in public."- he smacked your arm lightly and you laughed.

"Well let's find a more private place where we can talk."

Jisung:

The two of you are walking home from a movie date, your hands swinging together as you discuss the film you just watched.

The evening is quiet and peaceful and you can't wait to come home, shower and get under the covers with your sweet boyfriend.

Jisung takes his phone out of his pocket to show you something but since he never wants to let go of your hand, the phone clatters as it hits the floor.

"Shit!"- he exclaims, letting go of your hand and bending down to pick up the device.

Your eyes fall on his cute ass instantly, looking extra cute in his tight black jeans. You smirk as you land a hard smack against his flesh, making him shriek and almost fall over.

"Damn. Do that again."

Felix:

It's your first time sleeping over at Felix's place and since both of you love baking, you decided to try out a new recipe.

The problem was, you needed to run to the store to get some ingredients.

"I'm sorry, I should've prepared these beforehand."- Felix pouts cutely at you and you chuckle.

"Bubs, it's okay, I don't mind taking a little walk to the store. It'll be like a little adventure."- you smile and he chuckles, his cheeks dusted pink.

"Alright, that sounds way more fun now."- he nods.

The two of you make a short 10 minute trip to the nearest store. As you walk through the aisles, in the bright fluorescent light you notice just how tight your boyfriend's pants are, his ass and thighs prominent in them.

He even dares to bend down to pick up an ingredient from a lower shelf.

Your mouth waters at the sight and without thinking you smack his ass, ending it with a nice handful of his flesh as he squeals and lifts up quickly.

"Hey!"- he whips around so fast, his face morphed into a look of surprise before it becomes a little smirk, his eyes glinting at you.

You giggle at him as he points his finger at you.

"Just you wait 'til we come back home, honey."

Seungmin:

You're backstage with your boyfriend before his next show.

He's been looking extra delicious lately, his arms on display and the leather pants hugging his figure perfectly.

He's getting ready for the performance and when he turns his back to you, your eyes rake all over him. You look around, noticing that everyone's going about their business so you decide why not just spank him once?

Just one tiny little smack, you think as you lift up your arm.

"What are you doing?"- Seungmin asks and you groan.

"How did you see me? You back is turned!"

"The shadow, silly. Are you trying to smack my ass?"- he turns to look at you with a smirk.

"No."- you say.

"No? It's okay, you can do it."- he turns his back to you again and just as you lift your hand up again, he slides away from you, snickering and running away.

"Hey get back here!"- you run after him as you both giggle.

"Catch me if you can!"- he screams back and both of you get too excited before the staff has to calm you down.

And ofcourse, you use that chance to smack him lightly.

"Happy now?"- he rolls his eyes playfully.

"Ofcourse."- you smirk.

"Mhm. I might just have to return the favor later."

Jeongin:

"Innie, I'm bored."- you huff, moving your arms and legs like you're making a snow angel on your boyfriend's bed.

"What?"- he looks up from his spot, his eyes were glued to his phone.

"I said I'm bored."- you pout.

"Didn't you tell me to be quiet so you can read your book?"- he smirks.

"I can't concentrate anymore. The letters are all becoming screwy."- you keep pouting at him.

"Alright, what can I do to make it better?"

"Entertain me?"- you try to look sweet and innocent and he laughs at your attempt.

"However shall I do that?"- he leans closer to you.

"Give me a fashion show!"

"A what now?"- Jeongin laughs again, caressing your side.

"You bought new outfits. I wanna see them."- you sit up.

"Fine, if you insist."- he rolls his eyes jokingly and gets up. You reach for him and smack his cute butt, making him jolt.

"I hope I'm getting paid well for this fashion show."- he jokes.

"Oh, you are, trust me."

✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny

[beatrixstonehill2]

"What? Why would I be mad?" Heather said, smiling prettily. "You're my boyfriend. It doesn't matter if we've only been dating two months. You know I'm a very traditional girl, pretty sure that's why you asked me out! I'd be happy to explore any of your kinks, I don't care how dark they are. It's my job as your girlfriend to please you however I can!"

Heather's boyfriend, Jake, eyed his gorgeous girlfriend, feeling slightly ashamed for even thinking about what went through his head. He couldn't help himself..... "You can say no if you want. I'm just warning you."

Heather rolled her eyes. "No. I can't. I'm your girlfriend, Jake, like I've been telling you I have to please you no matter what! In any way I can, trust me, with the way I was raised I'm fully prepared for what that could mean! Now quit stalling and tell me how to satisfy you...."

"Fuck.... well..... I want to destroy your breasts."

"Destroy my breasts? What, like blow 'em up?"

"What!? No--well, actually...... no, I mean I want to debreast you."

"Ohhhh, you're one of those guys who likes to see a busty girl's titties get chopped off. What's the big deal, then? Why were you so nervous?"

"Well, it's just..... your breasts are so big and sexy I thought you might hate getting them chopped off."

"You're such a dork. My feelings aren't important, dummy! If I were reluctant to have these big fat udders of mine chopped off, I'm betting that'd make this whole thing even hotter! I can pretend to hate having them chopped off if you want, though."

"Uhhhh.... wow, I didn't expect you to be so cool about this."

"Your ears need a serious cleaning. Besides, I was here thinking you wanted to off me and toss me in a ditch or something. I mean, you still can but I'd like a bit of warning, unless it's part of your kink that I don't get any warning in which case I'm sorry if I spoiled the moment for you!"

"No, uh..... not that. But wow, you are just the perfect girl, aren't you?"

"Raised to be whatever my man wants, just like every girl ought to be.... at least that's what my daddy says."

"Well, he's a wise man."

"Sooooo, how're we doing this Mr. Titty Chopper? You got a preferred way of doing things? These big fat udders of mine aren't going to cut themselves off. Well, if they get too much bigger they might sag so much they drop right off! Kidding....."

"But I'd pay to see that! No, I own a sort of guillotine for breasts. I made it, and it works pretty well."

"Test it on lots of girls already?"

"Maybe."

Heather bit her lip. "So what, you gonna tie me up? shove my boobs into this thing and film me as I squirm and beg you not to chop them off?"

"Pretty much. I'd prefer it if you beg me TO have them chopped off, though!"

"That, I can do. I'd love to see my massive udders get removed, it's such a pain having boobs this big, you know?"

"Good, glad we're on the same page. I'll be fucking you as you're strapped in, the blade over your tits. You and I will hold the rope preventing the blade from dropping. You let go right as you're about to cum, that way you lose your tits right as the orgasm hits you. Guarantee it'll be the best orgasm of your life."

"I'll hold you to that. Then what? I'll be breastless, strapped into your machine..... what's a girl to do?"

"I'll fuck my children into you as I call you my flat-chested, worthless whore. Then, once your belly is full of my seed, I'll send you home with the basket containing your severed breasts, you show up at home with no boobs and tell your daddy you're pregnant from the guy who chopped off your boobs. Once you're all bandaged up, we go from there."

"And where might that be? Will you discard me like a used up piece of meat?"

"No, I'll introduce you to the other girls whose tits I've used my guillotine on.... You can admire how big their bellies are with my kids, and dream of how big yours will be in a few months."

"And if I give you enough kids will you marry me?"

"Maybe, or I'll consider it, if you help me find more busty girls like you to date, chop of their tits, and impregnate. You have some stiff competition but from what I can tell you seem like the kind of girl who's going to take this way more seriously than the others...."

"I am your girlfriend after all. Pleasing you is my purpose, and if finding a hundred girls with big fat titties like mine for you to chop off will make you want to spend the rest of your life with me.... I'd be happy to oblige!"

[lostsoulofdragon]

some small headcanons I got for the forest god au by @llamagoddessofficial

Please note that all the things stated down there are NOT canon, but headcanons I made up as I aggressively scourged down every bit of information I found about this au, thank you very much :)

also I’ll be heavily focusing on my favorite boy Skull (I’ll just call him Horror for now because I can handle it better) here, because why not, I love him 

Sans is not opposed of letting humans do their thing. If they wander his territory, they wander his territory. He’s even turned humans fae if they showed devotion to him. Some have started a cult about him, and he finds it amusing enough to let it continue. And hey, they even protect his forest FOR HIM, so all he really has to do is care for the fae and animals, not if trees get cut down or rivers get dammed. He can just sit back and relax, and have the enjoyment of humans running around for him. He doesn’t consider it to be selfish- heck, he never showed himself to them, he didn’t start the cult. That’s on them.

 He viewed the cult as… family, to some degree. After all, he turned some into his kind. After the forest of a fellow deity was lost t the humans and then the deities wrath, he watched the cult fall apart. They left his forest, leaving him to feel abandoned by them. He TRUSTED them. He never showed himself to the most of them, but he still LIKED them. They were like the most of family he ever had. And now they were gone.

Red likes humans. We all know that. But over the centuries, as they evolved, he watched them closely. So closely, that when you are fortunate enough to enter his core domain, you are faced with ancient human machines. Old pictures of random people in surprisingly good health for being tucked away in a tree in the middle of a forest. If you want to get an item of yours back after loosing it in the forest, you must trade it with him (dipping into the fae aspect here, hehe). He allows humans to stay in his domain, at least at its edges. But those that live there whisper about how many things go missing regularly. That bird that grasped your hunting knife as you left it unsupervised? Sent by the local deity. The fox pulling a bag of different tools? Reds personal thief. The deer eyeing the self made pouch of multiple layers- you get the idea.

Horror wasn’t always a hulking multilegged creature that resembles beasts. Before his rage took over, he was a humanoid deity, like the others. He allowed humans to wander through his territory and hunt and forage to a certain extent, and those that exhausted their stay just wouldn’t find any more. No more berries on the sides of the path, no more deer trails to follow. Similar to Red, he finds humans intriguing, but in a slightly different way. While Red wants to know all about the human race, Horror is content with letting them into his forest without having them fear for their safety. He allows them to hunt and forage, but no one dares to set up a permanent home there. A camp for the night, sure, but anything that indicates a longer stay than a full moon cycle will be left without food or other resources soon enough, alongside great rain and extreme temperatures that only worsen the longer the human stay.

Anyone who dares exhaust their stay even AFTER he told his animals to evade the human, made the plants temporarily close their flowers when the human was around… they learn to never upset a god the hard way. Every step they take makes water seep into their boots that never dry again. Every plant they decide to pick, it either wilts before they can consume it, or it makes them sick. The animals they slaughter put up a vicious fight. Arrows don’t harm the animals anymore. The meat turns bad in a heartbeat, or it infects the hunter with diseases or parasites. Horror allows humans to redeem themselves if they move out when he tells them, but if you decide to exhaust his hospitality even after his warning signs? You have been cast out for your life.

Horror liked his fae-underlings. He allowed them to toy with humans, but only to a certain degree. He refrained from turning humans to fae, because they could get the wrong idea. But there are stories about a certain human who was granted a special connection to his forest, and his forest alone.

[celestialprincesse]

Would you be willing to write something with Simon getting his girlfriend a little stuffie knowing that she loves them and has her ride the plush as a little welcome thing for the plush

I'm God awful at writing smut but fuck it we ball

AFAB reader, nsfw below the cut - mdni!

When Simon comes home with a pretty pink gift bag in his hand and a gentle kiss to your cheek, you're immediately as giggly and bubbly and docile as he loves you to be. The bag is from one of the expensive kids toy stores in town, the one that you can't help but ogle the window displays like a kid at Christmas every time you go past. So what if it's a little weird? You like pretty cuddly things to keep you company when your boyfriend goes away! Is that so wrong? Of course, you've amassed quite the collection by now, such is the benefit of having a partner that makes a fair bit of cash, and refuses to spend barely any of it on himself.

You're already tearing to the bedroom with the pink paper bag, jumping onto the plushy white mattress of your bed with a joyous squeal, grabbing at the fluffy white rabbit and hugging it to your chest before he's even hung his jacket up. Simon looks utterly smug with how happy you are, settling himself at the headboard and guiding you and the teddy into his lap whilst you mutter your thanks to him, a little distracted by your present.

"Gonna thank me properly, baby?" He murmurs with an appreciative look as his fingers find the meat of your hips under the fabric of your skirt, guiding them across the sinew of his denim clad thigh and feeling the way your pussy flutters through your panties. "M'kay Si." You nod, pretty puppy eyes blinking at him as he guides the thin cotton covering you to the side and rucks the hem of your skirt into the waistband so that he can see the way your cunt glistens just from riding his thigh for a couple seconds.

Simon doesn't hesitate to nudge the rabbit toy between your knees, tracing the tips of his fingers over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, making your muscles twitch involuntarily as you begin to grind down on the soft fabric, letting your nails dig into Simon's thigh. It takes a while for you to get into the rhythm of it, but Simons lusty gaze and the drag of the material against your clit has you growing tenser by the second, breaths hitching as a lump builds in your throat and your eyes fall shut. "Come on, my girl, you gonna look at me?"

When you devolve into a whimpering, shivering mess, eyelashes clumped together with the glassy sheen in your eyes, becoming overwhelmed with every little sensation. It doesn't take much prompting for the pads of his fore and ring fingers to circle your puffy clit, leaving you biting down on your lip to stifle the loud, needy moans that try to elicit from your throat. You've always been shy to cum, Simon knows that and he's always quick to help.

The fabric of the stuffed rabbit soaks under your slick as you cry out desperately, burying your face in Simons shoulder, his free hand coming to rest in your hair as you ride out your high.

๋࣭ ⭑

and you then proceed to throw said teddy in the washing machine. Twice.

[ninsletamain]

Fluffbruary Day 6: tie | embarrassment | dessert

My contribution to RebelCaptain Fluffbruary PLUS @quarantineddreamer's super ultra amazing fic addition below the cut!!!

The lines of code on the screen were no longer making sense. Somewhere between coffees 4 and 5 of the day they had slipped from Jyn’s grasp, gone from familiar symbols to something more akin to ancient hieroglyphics–as sure a sign as any that it was long-past time for her to take a break from her assignment. 

Reaching her arms skyward–tight knots in the muscles of her shoulders and along her spine protesting–Jyn glanced blearily at the alarm clock that perched neatly on the corner of the desk. 

Shit. Was that really the time? She scrambled to her feet, socks slipping on the linoleum floor, and threw her hair quickly into a bun. (Or what she hoped would pass for one anyways.)

Pants. I need pants. Jyn cast about the room, throwing the covers of the bed back, checking over the back of the roller-chair she’d spent the day–no, longer than that apparently–glued to, but found nothing. 

She could have sworn she had at least dropped a pair of sweatpants at the end of the bed at some point…

Cassian must have tidied up before he left (the neat freak); she hadn’t even noticed. That happened sometimes: the computer consuming her when she was locked onto a particular idea. But it shouldn’t have happened today. Today she had planned to wrap up her coursework early, surprise him… 

Okay screw the pants, Jyn decided, marching from the room towards the kitchen with all the determination of a soldier approaching the battlefield.

(If a soldier’s uniform was your boyfriend’s oversized, university sweatshirt and the fight ahead was the arduous task of preparing a meal.)

It took her more than a few tries to find everything–despite how organized Cassian kept his kitchen cabinets–but before too long Jyn was staring down at the black, glinting surface of a flawlessly seasoned cast iron pan and the looming depths of a large pot, a box of spaghetti, its matching jar of sauce, and an assortment of meat and vegetables thrown on the counter beside them. 

“I’ve got this,” Jyn muttered to herself, eyeing the recipe she’d taped to the fridge like it might grow fangs and snap at her. (Or catch fire and nearly burn the place down as had happened on her most recent foray into chefdom). “You’ve hacked into government systems before,” she continued. “This will be easy compared to that. A piece of cake, or a pot of pasta.” Hopefully anyways. 

She checked the oven clock. If she stood any chance of getting this done before Cassian (Impossibly-Punctual) Andor came home she had to start now. 

The empty apartment should have been quiet, peaceful. Instead, it suddenly seemed impossibly loud, noises swelling in her ears the longer she stood staring at the array of ingredients and tools––footsteps from the neighbor above, the distant rumble of a washing machine next door, the clicking of the fridge beside her, all clamoring in some insane harmony. 

The longer she stood there waiting (for what, she had no idea) the more power the sounds seemed to hold, quick to dredge up each and every anxious thought she had been so diligently shoving to the furthest corners of her mind since Cassian had told her of his plans to travel to Yavin…

When he cooked, Cassian always had music playing. Maybe that would help. Drown out the worry and the fear.

Jyn pulled her phone from the pocket of the red hoodie and tapped a playlist at random. Something upbeat began playing, muffled through the fabric as she tucked the phone back into the pocket, rolled up the too-long sleeves of the sweatshirt, and drew a deep breath. “Alright, here goes nothing…”

Turning down the hallway that led to his apartment, Cassian smelled something…interesting. 

He tried to pin down what it was. Starch, yes. Tomatoes, yes. Onions and garlic, most likely. But then there were other unexpected notes, the heat of what might have been chili powder tickling at his nostrils, growing stronger with each step closer he got to his door, and maybe the cheese he was smelling was parmesan or pecorino? The combination wasn’t exactly bad, just off–out of balance. 

He thought for sure it was one of the neighbors; maybe Mrs. McCleod experimenting again–after all, she had stopped him just last week to ask him about his favorite market for finding fresh produce.

But as he passed by Mrs. McCleod’s apartment, he noticed the crack under the door was dark, a small pile of mail collecting beneath her welcome mat. She was probably away visiting her niece again. Which meant that the smell was most likely emanating from the door at the end of the hall.

His door. 

Cassian tugged his tie looser, a warmth kindling in his stomach, a smile slowly spreading across his face; Jyn. 

He’d insisted she should stay at his apartment while he was gone–enjoy some solitude away from distracting roommates and loud neighbors–but he hadn’t been entirely certain she would take him up on it. She’d given him a strange look at the suggestion (despite the fact that after nearly a year of dating, she seemed to spend more time in his apartment than her own) and returned to her keyboard, completely absorbed in the endless numbers and symbols flashing wildly across the computer screen at her command.

The reaction hadn’t been a total shock to him. Jyn had been unusually quiet ever since he’d first mentioned his job interview in Yavin. He’d tried to tell himself she was just preoccupied with the workload associated with the final semester before she earned her degree, but deep down he knew that she was likely asking herself the same questions as he was: If I get this job, what happens to us? 

Cassian reached into his suit pocket for his key, twisted it in the lock, and slowly opened the door, his eyes tearing up at the overwhelming burn of capsaicin in the air. Dropping his backpack by the door, he followed the sound of hissing steam, music, and occasional cursing into the kitchen. 

It had been just over a day since he’d seen her, but even so, Cassian had spent the plane ride home longing for the moment when he could wrap his arms tight around her again, kiss her until they were both oxygen deprived and gasping for air. 

He’d envisioned a quick, eager reunion. Unable to hold himself back from rushing towards her; clumsy, grabbing hands and awkward clashing of teeth. 

But then he saw her: standing in his kitchen with her hair wild atop her head, dancing from the stovetop to a nearby drawer; humming along to the song playing faintly in the background as she poked uncertainly at a pan of sauteed vegetables and shot a quick glance at a boiling pot of water–and all he could think to do was lean his shoulder into the doorframe and stare, his breath catching in his chest with a fierce and sudden ache. 

Cassian knew he was helplessly, hopelessly lost–had known it for a while–but it had never been more apparent to him than in that moment, hovering at the threshold. He was certain that if he did nothing else for the rest of life but watch her, he’d still die the happiest man on earth. 

She’d decided to borrow his favorite sweatshirt while he was away–red, well-worn, with Ferrix University emblazoned across the front. As she rose on her tiptoes to reach into the spice cabinet, the bottom of the sweatshirt rose too, revealing the faintest glimpse of black panties, serving in sharp contrast to the perfect, pale curve of her ass. 

The sight inspired a different kind of ache. Cassian made his way across the kitchen, and placed his hands on Jyn’s shoulders. Somehow, the only words he could seem to find were, “You’re cooking.”

A string of swear words fell out of her mouth in quick succession. “I could’ve stabbed you,” she grumbled, even as she set down the knife she was holding to lean backwards into him. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.”

“I’m surprised I managed to.”

He felt her shoulders rise and fall against him. “I was distracted.” 

“I can see that,” he mused. “You’re cooking. You hate cooking.”

He could just make out the faint flush that rose in Jyn’s cheeks as she glanced back at him, her hair tickling his chin. “I do hate it,” she agreed, “but I figured you’d be hungry and…well, I don’t hate you.” 

A soft laugh escaped him, “What a relief.”

“Shut up.”

“No really,” he said, pulling her closer. “I was beginning to wonder.”

“Do you want food or not?” Her scowl was made significantly less believable by the smile catching quickly at the corners of her mouth. 

Cassian gave a considerate hum. His stomach had been rumbling as he stepped off the plane, but now a different kind of hunger was taking hold. His skin was hot beneath his suit where Jyn’s body pressed against his own; all he could seem to think of was her in his sweatshirt–in only his sweatshirt. 

But Jyn seized his brief lapse of silence as an opportunity to change subjects. “So…How’d the interview go?” she asked lightly, though her muscles went tight as she dipped a wooden spoon in the red liquid that bubbled on the stove in front of her.

He watched as she blew steam away from the spoon before bringing it to her mouth to taste and wincing. “The interview was fine,” he murmured, pressing (what he hoped she would as) a reassuring kiss to the top of her head.

The smile had already vanished from Jyn’s face. “You think you got the job then?”

Cassian moved his hand slowly up and down her arm, earlier ideas already forgotten. “They made me an offer,” he admitted quietly. 

“They did…” The energy seemed to have drained straight out of her–the dancing, humming, swearing woman from moments ago turned to shadow. 

Like she didn’t know. Like she couldn’t feel the frantic stuttering of his heart where his chest pressed between her shoulders blades. Like she couldn’t sense him, standing right here beside her on the knife’s edge. 

“I told them I couldn’t give them an answer yet,” he told her. Of course I did. As though there had been anything else he could do…

“You did what?” Jyn twisted in his arms. “That is your dream job. You know you want to go, so just go. Why would you–”

“Jyn,” he cut in, and she went still–let him hold her in place for at least a moment longer while he continued. “I said yet. I told them I couldn’t give them an answer yet.”

Her knuckles were white, wrapped tight around the wooden spoon. He reached past her and switched off the burners before anything could start smoking or boil over.

Cassian’s own nerves were starting to take hold. He gave a hard swallow, trying to clear the tightness from his throat. “I don’t want to go to Yavin. Not without you… I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”

“What are you saying?”

“Come with me. After you graduate in the spring, come with me.”

“Cass…”

He was about to tell her she didn’t have to answer right now–to delay whatever pain he sensed was coming from inevitable rejection–when she closed her hand around his tie and tugged him closer, tilting her head back to press her lips to his. 

Beneath his mouth, he could feel her smile forming, but it still took his breath away to see it when they broke apart. “Is that a yes, then?”

Jyn wound his tie tighter around her hand. “I like this suit,” she commented, eyes sweeping across the blue fabric and back to the black silk of the tie. 

“I’m taking that as a yes…” Cassian told her, his attention splitting as she began to playfully undo the top buttons of his shirt. 

“I cooked for you…” Her lips passed over his throat, her voice muffled. 

Heat was racing up Cassian’s spine, his thoughts going increasingly hazy. “You did…” he replied, inhaling sharply as the hand not wrapped in his tie found the back of his head, fingers tugging lightly at his hair. 

“I’m a terrible cook, but I cooked. For you.”

She still hadn’t answered him. Not really. He wanted an answer, a definitive answer. “What does this have to do with–”

“Are you still hungry?” 

“Jyn–” he pleaded.

“Because I was thinking we should forget about the food,” she continued, her mouth brushing over his ear–words like sparks to his skin. “I changed my mind. There’s something else I want to do for you instead. Something I’m much, much better at…”

He relented slightly, instinct shoving reason aside as he tugged at the hem of the sweatshirt, her skin soft against his fingertips. “What did you have in mind?” 

“You mean, aside from moving to Yavin?” she murmured with a teasing grin, pressing even closer, tips of their noses brushing, her breath warm against his cheeks.

“So that was a yes earlier…”

Jyn rolled her eyes at him. “What do you think?”

He lifted her off her feet, and she laughed, wrapping her legs tight around his torso. “I think you’re coming to Yavin with me,” he said, slightly breathless, not quite daring to believe it. 

“I’m coming to Yavin with you,” she echoed, delivering a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Welcome home, Cassian.”

[icycoldninja]

I'm not sure if requests are open so if not feel free to skip!

Can you do the dmc boys barely saving their s/o before death? Good ol angst/comfort for both parties

They're open for the time being. Enjoy.

Saving Reader from death headcannons (Sparda boys + V x Reader)

Warning: injury, blood, near death experiences

¤ Dante ¤

-He'd made a mistake, taking you out on a mission with him. He knew he shouldn't have, but you were so eager to go and gung ho about ripping up demons, he just couldn't bring himself to crush your spirits.

-Almost as soon as you two arrived on scene, the demons fell upon you like hungry wolves to a piece of meat, mauling you, clawing at you, chewing on you, and more.

-It was lucky Dante had the reflexes he did, otherwise you would have been nothing but a bloody corpse. He'd managed to shoot the demons, knock them back, and otherwise incapacitate them enough for him to reach you.

-You were hurt, badly, but still alive. Forgetting all about the mission, Dante scooped you into his arms and carried you off to the nearest hospital, where, thankfully, the doctors were able to treat you.

-Dante spent the remainder of your recovery sitting by your bed, holding your hand with all his strength, constantly apologizing for being so stupid.

-"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I was an idiot to put you in danger like that, I-I should've known better. From now on, you're staying home, where it's safe, OK? I...don't ever wanna have to see you like this again."

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil knew demons would stoop to low, low methods to get what they wanted, but he didn't think they'd go so far as to track down where you lived and attack you in your own home.

-He'd received a phone call from you while on his way back from a mission. Expecting a loving greeting, Vergil was met with panicked screaming from the other end; you, begging for him to come home quickly because the demons had found you.

-Vergil wasted no time in portaling over, and not a moment too soon, for he'd found you cornered in the kitchen, a demon's scythe just centimeters from your throat.

-Thankfully, Vergil worked quickly and cut the demon down where it stood, preventing you from meeting what would have surely been a horrific demise.

-He was so worried and afraid about your safety, he didn't even flinch when you collapsed into his arms, weeping and wailing about how terrified you were.

-"It's alright, my dove. You are safe. I'm home. There are no more demons, not anymore. Shhh."

□ Nero □

-Nero had invited you to come with him on a quick, innocent trip to the store for groceries, thinking it'd be a great opportunity to just hang out together.

-He had absolutely no clue that demons would choose to attack the supermarket of all places on that specific day.

-The demons came in from all sides, quickly flooding the store with their ranks. In under 5 minutes, the little menaces had toppled shelving, collapsed light fixtures, rammed people with shopping carts, flung frozen food at everyone, and barricaded the doors with fallen vending machines. While Nero worked to clear an exit, the demons snuck up from above and caused a large, industrial lamp to fall from the ceiling. You were half crushed by the metal monstrosity before you even knew it.

-Nero couldn't control himself and Triggered right then and there, devoting all his attention to pulling you out of under the large light fixture. Once he'd done so, he blew open the wall using something or other and raced you to the hospital, returning to deal with the demons shortly afterward.

-He then came back to the hospital to find you alive, but in pretty bad condition, most of the bones in your legs, but thankfully not your back, having been cracked, at the very least. Nero spent the next few months of your recovery stationed in a chair by the door, head in his hands, blaming himself for not being able to save you from injury.

-"God, I'm such an asshole. I'm sorry, baby, I screwed up big time. I'm such a freaking loser. I should have been faster, shoulda followed my instincts and yanked you outta there earlier. Why the fuck didn't I do that? I suck."

● V ●

-You and V were simply enjoying a pure and romantic moonlit walk together in the city.

-Then the demons showed up out of literally nowhere, taking the both of you by surprise as they surrounded you, claws brandished and fangs gnashing.

-V summoned his familiars to dispatch them, but it wasn't enough. Some slipped through his already thin defenses and struck you with their bloodstained weaponry, inflicting countless wounds upon your body.

-V managed to kill them all off before they could kill you, but still, you were badly hurt, and if he didn't get you medical help now, you could die from your wounds.

-He did his best to get you to the nearest hospital despite his crumbling body, nearly passing out on the doorstep in the process. The doctors said they could save you, and for that, V was glad, but at the same time, he felt angry at himself for not being able to do more for you.

-"Alas, Wanderer, if only this body wasn't as fragile as paper mache. I sorely wish I were stronger, for if I wasn't so weak, I might've been able to save you. Please, forgive me."

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: What We Did In The Dark {3}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, 18+ Mature Content, Angst, Small Time Jumps, Preggo Talk, Pregnancy Trope, Talk of Pregnancy Termination

Words: 6.4k

Summary: Neither of you planned any of it. You’d met by chance, and everything that happened after had to have been predestined. Now back to your own life, you find you have a special souvenir from your time in Mauritius and you have a tough decision to make.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

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What We Did In The Dark {1}**** | What We Did In The Dark {2}* |

Chapter Three: Better An Ooops….

“Take it easy!”

You groaned as you dropped face first onto your couch and let yourself spread out across the cool white leather. After 3 days in the hospital, tens of tests, and plenty of round-the-clock vitamin treatments to get your body up to standard for your condition you were finally released with prescriptions and doctor's orders to take it easy for a few days. You’d planned to come home and jump on your laptop to finish some things up, but Villie decided to bring you in and make sure you were settled. You knew she’d done it for a reason, and it was to make sure you didn’t do what you wanted to.

“So what do you feel like for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Tough shit. You’re going to eat. Your doctors said you need to take it easy, eat 3 balanced meals a day, and keep your stress levels down. So they took care of breakfast and lunch, now we order dinner.”

Villie dropped a heavy hand across your ass making you shout into the cushions of the couch. You shifted onto your side and rolled into a ball.

“What about the Halal spot that is on Blauvelt?”

You groaned and at the thought of all that meat covered with white creamy sauce, your stomach churned like the agitator inside of a washing machine. It didn’t feel right at all. Because of it, a ball of nausea formed in your chest, but your stomach grumbled.

“See, you’re hungry,” Villie assumed.

However, that was not the case. The thought of Halal made your stomach swirl like the letter “S”.

“No Halal.”

“Burgers, Mexican, Caribbean?”

None of those sounded any better. Suddenly, Villie gasped.

“Oooh, what about that Cuban spot?”

You allowed that to simmer for a few moments and when your stomach didn’t react you slowly sat up. In your mind’s eye, you saw a towering plate of empanadas beside another plate filled with Cuban-style seafood paella and a bowl of black bean soup and tostones. You looked to Villie and found her smiling widely.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You pulled out your phone and went to your food ordering app then found the restaurant she meant. You spent the following 5 or so minutes adding everything your stomach told you that you needed and had to have or else you’d die. By the time you’d checked out, your total and quantity were insane for just two people but as far as you were concerned everything was a necessity.

While Villie waited for the order, you took a quick shower. Or it was meant to be quick. Whenever you swiped your decadently soaped-up exfoliating gloves across your abdomen you paused up and your mind wandered. There was an actual baby inside of you right now—two to be accurate. You were carrying the babies of a man you’d only slept with once, well multiple times over the span of 5ish hours. You didn’t know him and you sure as hell hadn’t planned for this to be the outcome of your wanton night of pleasure.

There were so many things on your mind, so many worries to add to the ones you already had. According to Dr. Olumici, you had already reached the cut-off point to ethically terminate with her and most other providers. However, you could find other physicians who would perform an early 2nd-trimester termination. Through your research in the hospital, you educated yourself on why it was too unethical and brought so much controversy. Once you understood you couldn’t fathom doing it.

With that answer, you also couldn’t fathom yourself carrying these babies or giving them a life. You weren’t exactly stable in your life or career. You’d only just begun the path and had so many other things planned to accomplish before the whole adding to the population of the world thing. That meant you had a predicament on your hands that now only had one resolution—adoption. Even that didn’t sit right with you. Could you go on living your life knowing you had a life somewhere else in the world living, a being that came from you, a being you wouldn’t know in any way?

So you spent the entire shower going back and forth over your options but that only sent you into an endless circle with resolutions that weren’t real ones because they posed more problems and raised more questions. By the time you came out of the shower and returned to the living room, Villie was lost in her phone with the food spread out across your coffee table.

“That was longer than usual.”

“Yeah, I smelled like a hospital, I needed to smell like me.”

Villie nodded then grabbed the bottle that was in the center of the table, “Did you know you can get alcohol delivered off of Dash?”

You snorted. Leave it to her to try. You took a seat on the floor beside her ready to dig in but her phone resting on the table caught your eye. It was the picture of the man who’d showed up at the hospital, the one you’d rear-ended.

“You found him on socials already?”

Villie glanced at her phone then scoffed. “It wasn’t hard. Take a guess who he’s connected to.”

You thought about it for a second but the smells wafting from the containers took your attention. You went through pulling off the tops of the food containers and moaning as each new smell filled the room.

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until now.”

Without another word, you dug into the food filling your plate with a lot of everything. Once you were satisfied with the bites you had taken you glanced back at Villie who was wide-eyed.

“What?”

“Glad to see your appetite has come back.”

You nodded and continued stuffing your face. Over the last few days, though you hadn’t vomited, you felt small bouts of nausea that came and went and the look of most of the hospital food left you not wanting to eat much. You’d worried it was going to be a permanent thing, but those worries were put to rest now.

“So, guess who he’s connected to,” Villie broached again.

“I don’t know,” you said mouth full of food.

Villie grabbed her phone and slid across her screen then held it up to you. When you looked, Lewis Hamilton’s face filled her screen. You gasped forgetting your mouthful of food then immediately began choking from the few particles that went down the wrong pipe.

“Oh my god!”

Villie leaped to her knees, patted your back with one hand, and poured some of the dark liquid from the bottle into a glass before she handed it to you. As you brought it to your nose your stomach turned from the strong scent of alcohol. You put the glass back on the table and shook your head. Villie kissed her teeth and then hurried to the kitchen before she came back with a bottle of water. You took several gulps in between coughs trying your best to dislodge the food that was stuck in your windpipe.

After a few attempts, you took a deep breath and hung your head back.

“Are you all right?”

You nodded, wiping your eyes from the tears that had slipped out.

“Jesus. I know the man is fine, fine but get a grip,” Villie teased.

You scoffed then pressed your palms to your face.

“Wait. Eh-em, you’re telling me the man I ran into is connected to him?”

“Yep. His name is Miles Chamley-Watson. He is the BFF to Lewis Hamilton, like for real BFF shit. They go everywhere together.”

Your eyes were bugged as you pieced it together. How small was this fucking world? How was this even real? The more you thought about it you began to wonder if he was in Mauritius with him. If so, did he know who you were?

“Oh my god.”

“Right! Like we kind of hit it off. I’m not gonna say there was flirting but there was flirting.”

“So you’re interested in him?”

Villie smiled as she drank down the glass of rum she’d poured for you. “I might be. What do you think? Do you think I shouldn’t be?”

How were you supposed to answer that? If she pursued things and they ended up becoming a thing didn’t that mean eventually one way or another you and Lewis would interact with one another? If you did wouldn’t he find out about the babies? If he found out--. The thought paused as a bigger item zipped itself up the agenda. Would he even remember you? He was after all Lewis Hamilton. You were sure there was no shortage of women he spent his time with. Why would he remember you from one night and 5 hours?

“Y/N?”

“Uh—um, well--.”

You saw the hope in her eyes and knew you couldn’t minipulate this because of your situation. Sighing you took her hand. “Valenza, I saw something between y’all. I say go with it and enjoy yourself. Who knows this could be it.”

Villie screeched then began laughing like an erratic high schooler who’d just learned their crush liked them back. Smiling you went back to eating. As Villie talked about Miles for a few more minutes your mind was lost in its own world. This shit was getting even more complicated.

~~~~~~~

4 Weeks Later

Your eyes never left the front door of 4057 Lake Drive Blvd. You’d been sitting in your car for the last 3 hours obsessively staring at the door with one hand on your steering wheel while the other rested on the door handle. You’d had every intention of getting out of your car and going inside 2 hours ago. However, that didn’t work out. Every time you tried to force your feet to move they didn’t. Instead, you sat outside the women’s health center as the time clicked closer and closer to your appointment until that same time clicked further and further away from your appointment time.

Now you were a whole 2 hours past your appointment time with no progress on getting out of the car. As you sat here you went over every single option over and over and over. You interjected every variable, every single con to every single choice. However, with every con, you found yourself seeing just as many pros. Now it was impossible to tell what the right decision was.

Never in your life had you thought you’d consider termination let alone a 2nd trimester one, but you were finding out that in most decisions no one knows what they would do until they are in it. You didn’t think you’d have unprotected sex with a stranger in your life but when the moment came you were one hundred percent DTF (down to fuck).

You closed your eyes for probably the hundredth time and took several deep, slow breaths. On the fifth one, you held it and allowed your heartbeat to steadily slow until it beat low and evenly. It was a trick you’d done most of your life to calm yourself and think clearly. When everything fell away, including the sounds of traffic, the sounds of the city you loved, and even the drum of your engine, you were left with your heartbeat and the rustling of the palm leaves. It was then that you felt the butterfly fluttering sensations again.

When you’d first felt them a week ago you hadn’t known what they were, and it took a few days to recognize what they were. Every Google search confirmed it—fetal movements. That was when it all became real and right now sitting in front of the health center where a doctor was waiting to perform your termination that you were now 2 hours late for because you were panicking and waiting for a sign to show you the right path to take, did it really become real.

Your hands left their current positions, the steering wheel and the door handle, and drifted to your belly which was now ever so slightly poked out. As if the minuscule beings inside of you knew your hands were there the fluttering intensified, crippling you with emotion. You dropped your head onto the steering wheel and allowed yourself to cry for the first time.

What could have been mistaken for sad tears weren’t. They were tears of resolution, tears of understanding, tears of acceptance—of fear. This was your sign, your answer, your path, and you were scared shitless. So your tears flowed down your cheeks and dripped all over you soaking your top. Even then you didn’t stop, you let it all out even turning up the music to drown out the sounds of your sobs.

From this moment forward, your life would never be the same and from this moment forward, you would face whatever came your way on this path with one thought in mind—what was best for your babies. When your tears finally subsided you wrapped your arms around your midsection, hugging yourself and the lives within you, and took a deep breath.

“Okay. I didn’t expect you and I surely didn’t plan you, but I won’t get rid of you. I hope you don’t regret choosing me because you’re stuck with me, and I promise I will do everything to protect you from today onward. Be gentle and patient with me and we’ll learn together.”

As if your words were heard, the flutters returned making you smile. pressing your head back on the headrest you sighed and tried to formulate a plan. That was when your phone rang sending audio caller ID off.

Villie calling. Villie calling. Villie calling.

You scoffed. Even the universe knew the plan was to tell Villie because she was good at coming up with a plan that ensured you were the primary benefiter. Truthfully, you should have told her weeks ago but since your release from the hospital she’d been spending a lot of time with Miles. Though he lived in the UK, they were always on Facetime dates, they’d now met up in London 3 times and you were sure she knew what Miles Jr looked like.

You hadn’t wanted to make things weird between them or add any stress given the truths of your situation. You really had wanted to keep things separate. Now with you deciding to keep the babies and raise them, there was no way you could keep everything from her anymore. She was your best friend after all. Tapping the answer button, you buckled yourself in.

“Hey V.”

“Hey. Where are you?”

“Umm--,” you stretched as you pulled out of the parking lot of the medical center and onto Berman Street.

“Getting on the highway, what’s up?”

“I feel like shopping. Are you down?”

“Yeah, tell me where to meet you.”

The drive through South Beach was unlike any drive you’d done before. Over the last few weeks, you’d been tense and stressed out to the max. It was evident in the way you gripped the steering wheel and sat in your seat. Now you felt differently. You were more relaxed, and more centered but also more cautious. You found yourself stopping and allowing more women and children cross even if they didn’t have the right of way, found yourself driving slightly below the speed limit and following every single traffic law that was in the driver’s manual that you’d neglected mere weeks before.

By the time you parked and fed your meter, you were 10 minutes late and intensely craving a massive green smoothie. After getting not one but two, you found Villie already well into her shopping in one of the lingerie stores.

“What took you so long?”

“Traffic and I needed a smoothie. So for you, shopping starts with lingerie.”

“Of course.”

You chuckled then began going through the racks. There were tons of cute stuff, but you knew soon you wouldn’t fit any of it and you had no one to wear any of this for. With that thought you looked at Villie.

“Valenza Tamina Chord, are you stocking up for a particular event?”

She smiled widely then walked off.

“No, no. Don’t try to slip away. What’s going on?”

“Miles is coming to town in a few weeks for a week and--.”

“You plan on getting your back broke, throat bruised, and internal organs rearranged. Okay!”

Villie giggled as she took down a navy blue strappy number that would look great on her and examined it.

“Okay I don’t know about throat bruised but the rest of it yep.”

You snorted and shook your head. “First of all, get that, it’ll look phenomenal on you. Second, let’s see if you have a voice when he comes.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, he is so cool, such a good guy.”

“He seems like it. I’m glad you’re having fun you deserve it.”

Villie’s eyes landed on you and for a few moments she studied you. “I’m not the only one who deserves it, you do too.”

You nodded and walked away to another rack and idly went through the hangers.

“I mean it. You’ve been single for long enough don’t you think?”

“I have a lot going on Villie. I don’t need another thing to worry about.”

“I understand what you mean but sometimes if it’s the right thing it doesn’t become a worry but something to bring you happiness, and peace.”

You sighed the words at the tip of your tongue but with no way to come out. This wasn’t something you could blurt out and be done with. You knew Villie, she would want to dissect everything on top of wanting a play-by-play of your dick down. This conversation couldn’t be had in the middle of a lingerie store.

“When do we meet the creative director of the station?”

“Boo! Always changing the subject. Fine, whatever. Next week is the meeting. Their name is Sadie Walters and she sent over some ideas for her vision along with some papers to understand your vision. So you got some homework.”

“Okay. I’m excited to get this off the ground and get back to traveling.”

“Workaholic. One day you will regret working so much and pushing your personal life to the side.”

You turned your back and quietly scoffed. If she only knew how little time you would have for a personal life in the next few years she’d take that back. For the next several hours you dipped in and out of almost every store adding bags and bags of clothes, shoes, makeup, and body products until you both were exhausted. After you had dinner at a nearby steakhouse where again you ate nearly everything in sight. When you both split at the end of the night you attempted to get the words out but still you couldn’t. You weren’t quite ready, and you worried you would be really showing before you were ever ready.

~~~~~~

-2 Weeks Later-

Pop!

The champagne bottle top flew across the room colliding into the wall, making everyone cheer and clap. After so many weeks of work with finishing up your catalog, the vacation wear line, and getting the behind-the-scenes stuff of your travel show down everything was signed, sealed, and done. Tomorrow was the release of your catalog and vacation wear line, and you were absolutely freaking out.

“Oh my god. Thank you everyone!”

You went around your office and hugged each and every one of the people who helped you get here. You wrapped your arms around Zavier and squeezed.

“Thank you Z, you made this catalog incredible. I cannot thank you enough!”

“Congratulations. You’re more than welcome.”

Next, you moved on to Sabrina and Chloe, the interns who’d been hired to maintain some of the back-end things. “Thank you beautiful souls.”

“You’re welcome!”

When you moved to Villie she rocked you side to side. That was when the waterworks started.

“Oh Villie, thank you, thank you!”

“Shut up. I don’t need thank yous. I am so happy for you. It’ll be no time now before you are bigger than Anthony Zimmerman.”

“Girl, we are not alike. He travels to eat everything; I travel to party.”

Everyone laughed at that. When Villie handed you a glass of champagne you froze.

“We have to drink to you and all that you’ve accomplished and to this amazing team of ours,” Villie said holding her glass up.

Everyone followed her and tapped their glasses together. You brought the glass to your lips, but you didn’t take a sip as they all did.

“Thank you guys so much for all your hard work and dedication to these projects. It means the world to me.”

You hoped they understood how much they meant to you though you couldn’t fully express it because if you did, you knew you would cry uncontrollably which would be weird. You were having a hard time keeping your emotions under control over the last two weeks as your pregnancy progressed. You saw a dandelion blow away from a hard gust of wind earlier and that made you cry for the poor dandelion that would never be seen again. With that, you knew your emotional state was highly unbalanced.

When the bottle of champagne disappeared, everyone started to file out to get on with their own days leaving you and Villie. You scrolled through the virtual catalog in complete awe. You couldn’t believe that after so many months it was over and would be out for the world to see. The pride you felt was indescribable. You’d accomplished this without using anyone's clout, or influence to elevate it. You didn’t have any major help, most of it was compiled by you using your skills and talents. It wasn’t until near the end had you brought on more expertise. This was your baby.

“I can’t believe this is done, V.”

She doesn’t reply. When you felt her approach, she pulled up a chair beside you then sighed. “I can’t believe you haven’t told me what’s been going on with you since you were released from the hospital.”

You paused and fought the rapid beating of your heart because you knew she would hear it in the quiet office. “Uh--.”

“I’ll give you a few moments to come up with what you are going to say to come clean with me but the words out of your mouth better be the truth. I’ve let you go for all this time but right now I’m getting offended and hurt that you don’t feel like you can talk to me.”

You spun to her and grabbed her hands. “No, no. Villie, that’s not it I swear!”

“No? Then what else could it be, Y/N?”

You sighed then found your words. Gripping her hands tighter you looked at her. “Okay look. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how and honestly I didn’t know until a few weeks ago and since then I have been a mess trying to wrap my head around it and future my shit out. It’s a lot happening.”

“Are you sick? Please don’t tell me you have cancer.”

“What? No! I don’t. I’m not sick.”

Villie let out a relieved huff of breath then took a steadying one. “Then what? What is going on?”

“I’m—I’m—pregnant.”

Villie just stared at you with a blank expression. She didn’t move, she didn’t even look as if she were breathing. Leaning forward you studied her closer trying to gauge just what she was thinking. Biting your bottom lip you prepared yourself to repeat the words but just as you opened your mouth to, Villie sprang to her feet.

“What! P—pr—pregnant?”

She walked to the far side of the office. “I know you fucking lying.”

“Uh--.”

“No. It’s a lie. There is no way. How did you get pregnant? When?”

You understood her reaction. You hadn’t told her about your night with Lewis because you didn’t want to be one of those girls who bragged about spending the night with a celebrity and you honestly were kind of embarrassed by everything that happened that night. You’d turned into a completely different person and when the sun rose, and you’d found your limbs entangled with his and your very naked bodies still connected under the massive palm tree that was tucked out of sight you’d felt stupid and easy so you ran as fast as you could without looking back. As far as she knew you’d been in a sex drought for 2 years.

“Y/N!”

“Calm down. I should be the one freaking out. I’m the pregnant one.”

Villie’s eyes widened.

“I’m not lying. I am pregnant. I found out at the hospital after the accident and that’s what’s been going on for the last few weeks. I was trying to wrap my head around it all and figure out what I wanted to do about it. Because of everything that I have going on I didn’t think I could continue this, so it’s been a stressful few weeks,” you rushed out.

Ville was still standing across the room and now looking at you like you had two heads. “You’re not fucking with me?”

“I’m not fucking with you. I promise.”

Instantly Villie crossed the room to you taking you into her arms and hugging the life out of you. “Oh, honey.”

With your best friend comforting you, your tears began flowing. When she heard your sniffles she pulled back and pouted.  “You’re really pregnant?”

Nodding, you sniffled some more. Villie’s tear-filled eyes overflowed and the two of you hugged again and ugly cried together. Relief filled you as you relished the comfort of the one person who's had your back for over a decade. You weren’t alone with this anymore. You knew without a doubt that Villie would have your back the entire way.

When the two of you sat back down, you both wiped your tears and snot and laughed at each other for being so emotional about it.

“Oh my god, Y/N.”

“I know.”

“Oh my god,” Villie repeated.

“I know, I know. It’s huge.”

“Huge? This is—colossal. You’re pregnant.”

You nodded, “I am.”

“You’re pregnant with a baby, like a real baby.”

“Ha, try two babies. Two real babies.”

Villie shot to her feet again.

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Girl I nearly passed out when I found out.”

Villie screeched then and practically tackled you with another hug. “Twins! Aah, Y/N, how precious is that?!”

You snorted. Of course she would be the one to die over the cuteness of it all. Villie dropped back into the seat, then reached for your belly. When she realized it was not flat her eyes became the size of the moon.

“Holy fucking shit, Y/N. This feels so real.”

“Oh it’s real. It’s so real I have had to sideline 3 of my favorite pairs of jeans already and I’m not even halfway there yet.”

“So you’re keeping them, right? You better be keeping them.”

“I’m keeping them. I couldn’t do the procedure. It didn’t feel right in my heart.”

Villie nodded. “I get that. It’s different to hold my hand through mine than be the one in the stirrups getting your own. It’s a decision every woman has to make for herself.”

A few moments of silence stretched as both of you thought back to when Villie ended up pregnant barely one year into law school. Her then asshole boyfriend freaked and went as far as to transfer schools just to get away from the whole thing. After hours of tears, weeks of lamenting, and one in-depth heart to heart she decided it was best to terminate. So, you held her hand through the whole thing and per her request, the two of you never spoke of it again.

Squeezing her hand for comfort, you continued, “It was simply too late for me to have a clear conscious about it. Then I got a sign showing me what to do and—yeah, here we are.”

Villie squeezed your hand again. “Well, I am happy for you honey. You are going to be an amazing mom.”

You groaned. “Mom. V, this is insane. The show, the catalog, the line, all the traveling I’m going to be doing, the chaos of filming. I can’t do this, right?”

“Of course you can do this. You’re not going to be alone doing it either. I will be here. I will be with you for every single thing, ultrasounds, Lamaze, nursery planning, hospital bag packing, birth, and every day after. You’re not alone and you can do this,” she assured in her attorney voice.

Slowly you nodded as her words sank in filling you with confidence. Suddenly Villie gasped.

“Hold up. When did this happen? Who!?”

You let her hand go, stood, and grabbed your stuff.

“Let’s go to my place.”

Villie looked cautiously at you. “Oh god, is it Zavier?”

“What! Hell no.”

“What do you mean hell no? Zavier is fine as hell. You have seen his abs right and his tight ass?”

“Oh my god V, stop sexualizing Z.”

“I’m not. I’m just asking if you have seen his abs and his ass.”

“Yes, I have seen them and yes they are great.”

“Not to mention he is crushing so hard on you, has been for like a year now.”

“Shut up, he hasn’t.”

Villie rolled her eyes as she walked out the door first. “Oblivious fool. Can’t stand you bitches who don’t notice when you have men wrapped around your finger. until it's too late”

You snorted, “Who you calling a fool?”

The bickering continued as you made your way to your cars. When you separated to drive there separately, you made a quick stop at the Cuban spot near your house and once again picked up enough food for an army. When you got home Villie was already waiting for you. She helped you line out the food on the coffee table and get drinks ready, then you dug in. Halfway through eating Villie turned to you to press further.

“I know you’ve been stalling. Spill it already. Is he some struggling cartel clown who thinks he's next in line but is still the errand boy?”

“God no.”

“One of these struggling Miami rappers who swear they got bars but really don't understand the meaning of the word?”

You chuckled. “No.”

“Oh, a struggling underwear model who--.”

“Why do they all have to be struggling?”

“Because you’re stalling which means you’re either embarrassed of him or you regret letting him hit and most likely it’s because you’re ashamed of who he is.”

“I’m not—embarrassed or ashamed of him per se.”

“Okay if not who, then tell me when. When did this happen?”

“Mauritius.”

Her eyes widened again.

“Holy shit, did you Stella Got Her Groove Back on some hot barely legal island bway and brought back your very own Mauritian souvenirs.”

You busted out laughing sending food out of your mouth and onto the floor beside you.

“Wait, wait, wait. Barely legal isn’t my thing and since when have I been out of commission long enough to Stella Got Her Groove Back on anyone?!”

“It’s been 2 years, Y/N. You’re honeytrap was growing cobwebs.”

You laughed loudly again loving the feeling. It had been too long since you’d laughed like this.

“First of all. Fuck you!”

Villie laughed along with you.

“No, it’s who fucked you?”

You hugged her and rocked from side to side.

“Oh I love you Villie.”

“Love you too honey. That doesn’t mean I am letting this go. Tell me already.”

“Fine. Lewis Hamilton.”

Villie gave you a “yeah right” look then busted out laughing. She laughed so long that it gave you more time to keep eating. Slowly she realized you weren’t laughing with her and slowly she stopped.

“I didn’t mean lie to my face.”

“Who’s lying?”

Villie stared at you for a few moments then you watched every cell in her body light up until her face was bright and her eyes wide. That’s when it happened. She screamed. You nodded your head because it was either this reaction you’d expected or the complete disbelief. You’d gotten them both.

“No fucking way!”

“Oh yes fucking way.”

“You had sex with Lewis Hamilton in Mauritius? Oh ho ho, details. I need every single piece of information starting with who said the first word to whom, moving on to are his hands as big as they seem, then what he smells like, then can he kiss, then not skipping any minuscule detail like boxers or briefs, circumcised or not and finally how big and can he lay pipe.”

She screeched again, grabbed her bottle of beer, turned to you then cleared her throat. “Okay, begin.”

She was an absolute trip. You spent the few hours going over every detail of that night that you dared to with Villie. You even let her know how free you’d been with yourself and all the things you’d let him do to you, all the ways you’d let him have you and claim your body. With every piece of info, Villie looked like she was near an aneurysm. When you told her how you’d let him into your back door she lost her shit. She screamed so loud you were sure your neighbors would call the police thinking foul play was afoot.

By the time you finished, Villie was laid out on her back with a dazed look on her face staring at the ceiling as if she had been the one who’d gone through probably the best night of fucking ever recorded by man or woman. You gave her a few minutes to recover and let it all sink in and used the time to finish off the food.

“Oh my god, Y/N.”

Villie sat up panting, her hair a mess.

“Are you good?”

“Am I? Are you? All of that went down?”

“All of that went down. I got back to my hotel room and didn’t recognize myself in the mirror.”

“You a freak, freak, freak!”

Both of you laughed some more.

“I can’t believe you.”

“I know. Mauritian rum is no fucking joke.”

“No. I can’t believe you left him there naked in the sand. Why!?”

“What? Why? You’re joking. I couldn’t stay.”

“Why?”

“Because it was over, it was one night and—I—I,” you sighed. “I was embarrassed. I felt like a fool.”

“You were embarrassed to have slept with Lewis Hamilton?”

“Partly. You’ve heard the rumors about him, heard the stories of him having a harem and contractual relationships that center around sex and extravagance, and here I went and fell for him.”

“Wait, fell for him, fell for him?”

You sighed and thought back to your conversation and the vibe between you.

“I don’t know. I’d had a lot to drink that night and was on a high after that folk dance with the island’s natives and there was something when our eyes met through the flames of the fire. There was something that made me fall enough to let all that go down.”

“Do you like him?”

“I don’t know him. I don’t know I felt like I became this whole other person that I have never been before but it didn’t feel like a mask or me pretending and it makes me wonder why did it come out with him and not anyone else?”

Villie nodded. “So instead of finding out why by staying till he woke up, you ran away and brought back 2 souvenirs with his DNA that you now have to find a way to tell him about.”

“Tell him? Why would I tell him?”

Villie looked at you with incredulity. “You’re joking.” She stared at you longer then scoffed when she realized you weren’t. “No, Y/N, you have to tell him. Don’t you think he deserves to know he will have 2 children running around with his DNA?”

“---No.”

“Y/N--.”

“Okay wait. I can see how you would say yes and well—maybe—yes. Fuck. How do I tell him this Villie? Do I just DM him on Insta and be like hey remember me? He probably won’t if the stories are true he’s had nights like this plenty of times. What do I say?”

“Who cares about the stories, the rumors, and any of that other noise. Right now you are pregnant and you’ve decided to keep the babies—his babies. You have to tell him and let him figure out if he remembers you, and decide what he plans on doing. Whatever he decides won’t affect you. If he decides to man up great then you figure it out. If he decides to deny, deny, deny then fine, move on.”

You heard her words. They made plenty of sense, but you were still apprehensive. You didn’t want to be perceived as that girl. The one who showed up with a pregnancy from one night or a situationship where terms were clear.

“This is messy, Villie.”

“It is but what isn't messy these days? Oh my god, Miles.”

You looked at her as she finally thought about her connection to all of this.

“He’s his bestie right, and now your boo thang.”

Villie smiled at those words then scoffed. “The world is so fucking small.”

“Tell me about it,” you replied.

The two of you sat quietly for a few moments both in your own heads about your situation.

“Well, you have an in to talk to him when you’re ready to tell him about the pregnancy.”

“What in? Miles?”

“Yeah. We’ll tell him and ask if he can get you a face-to-face.”

“Face to face? Villie.”

“Is this the kind of news you really want to send over socials, text messages, or word of mouth?”

You hated when she was right.

“Also from a legal standpoint, if you kept this from him now and he somehow found out years down the line, he could file a lawsuit against you and seek damages.”

“From little ol' me?”

“If he was feeling really butt hurt, that’s the minimum of what he could do legally,” Villie confirmed.

You sighed then dropped back onto the floor. Your hands instantly went to your stomach and you felt your slight bump. This shit was messy and had the potential to get even messier. Villie was right though, you did have to tell him, it was the right thing to do.

Looking at it from a different angle, it was better to say "Hi remember me, oops I’m pregnant" than not and wonder what if.

You closed your eyes and groaned. Your life had turned upside down in the span of a few months and once again it was all because of the things you’d done in the dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[aqua-the-smiter]

@kit-williams @egrets-not-regrets Alright kids, ask and ye shall receive. NSFW under the cut Breeding kink, semi-public sex, ruining Roboute's hardwood table Lion El'Johnson x female reader. Getting down and dirty with you on one of his brother's library tables. How rude. Divider by the lovely @squishyowl

"What is someone catches us?" You whine quietly, trying to keep your voice down.

"They won't if you're quiet." Lion reassured you from between your legs with a purr, before shoving his tongue back between them

He was eating you out like a tiger licking the meat off a bone while you were spread like a banquet over a table in one of Roboute Guilliman's numerous libraries. And judging by the little noises he was making, thoroughly enjoying himself. Thankfully, Guilliman, Horus, Lorgar, and Vulkan were all chattering away in another room.

Not that you weren't either, if your issues with volume were anything to go by.

His behavior still caught you off guard sometimes. He had been so proper when he was courting you. So...chivalrous. It sounded silly, but that was truly the best word you could use for it. Chivalrous.

Maybe it was because you were a knight pilot. Your family's history with the machines went back millennia, and you were damn proud of it too. That might of been it. He had wanted you to see him as a gentleman while he tried to win your heart (and you his, truth be told), so he treated you like a lady. It looked good in front of your family too. Your father was a wonderful man, but you had been his only daughter in a sea of sons.

Lion hadn't been anything other than perfectly respectful, to both your family and you. Whenever the two of you met up he would get on one knee and kiss the back of your hand in greeting. He did his best to kneel down whenever you spoke to him as well. He would always walk you back home after an outing, and never pushed you for anything more than kissing while you were still dating.

Although he had been more than pleased to finally have you on your wedding night. And on one of his brother's tables.

He was no knight now, that's for sure. You could feel his tongue slithering between your legs, licking and pressing at just the right spot underneath all the folds to have you cumming over and over again. Like he was holding down a button inside of you. Leaving you and overstimulated, quivering mess, and him lapping up your fluids like a cat with stolen cream.

Then his tongue was abruptly replaced with something rather bigger, and it took all your willpower not to squeal.

You wrapped your thighs around his hips as he sheathed himself fully in your, stretching you open with his huge cock. You were more than wet enough to make up for any lack of lubrication on his end. Before you'd gotten with him you had seen some of the other Primarchs with their wives and wondered how in the world they bedded their husbands. What you didn't expect was getting your answer first hand.

With great enthusiasm.

Lion leaned over you, nestling his face between your neck and shoulder. Sinking his teeth into the tender flesh there. Your legs tightened around his hips, yours bucking up to meet his thrusts as he hilted himself in your slick cunt again.

You almost enjoyed the thought of someone catching you. Seeing how good Lion fucked you. How a primarch took his bride. "It's about time-" He whispered in your ear again. Holding your hips in a vice to his while he filled you up with his seed. "-that we started making cubs anyway."

"No time like the present?" You managed to slur out.

"Exactly."

[saccharinosis]

IN OUR AMBER HOUSE (M!Yandere OC x GN!reader) - 1.9k words

(Warnings: manipulation?? General yandere things yeah under cut)

WHERE WAS HE? Anxious eyes peeked through the veil of blinders, panning across sun-soaked suburbia. Previously grey skies diffused with splashes of tangerine and rosy inks glowed above asphalt roads, hugged by pavement and dirty gold lawns which preceded duplicate houses—houses that harboured spouses who just arrived home to their loved ones. Yours was not one of them.

You glanced back at the clock; ‘5:32pm’, it read. It only takes him twenty minutes to get home—what's taking him so long? He was always the punctual type.

Anxiety twisted your thoughts into a web of indecipherable ramblings: what if he got into an accident at work? Or a car crash coming home? What if he decided to abandon you just like everyone else? What were you to do then? You couldn’t survive on your own. The train ticket hidden beneath the laundry machine weighed heavy on your conscience. Guilt seeped into the open wound of worries, for ever thinking anything sinful of his character. He was your lifeline.

Or maybe…

Maybe you should step outside—

Tires crackled. False storm clouds climbed out an exhaust pipe’s silver chimney, revving thunder. Your wide eyes glued themselves to the window. The aegean blue vintage Camaro rolled into view. He’s home.

You sprinted from the window to the entrance. Through the door you could hear the thumping of his powderhorn boots, soon coming to a halt. The jingling of metal alerted you to back away from the entrance. When the door creaked open, you jumped, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in the faux fur of his hood. A deep inhale; the faint scent of ashwood, pumpkin spice and vanilla was familiar to you. You felt the vibrations of chuckles from within his chest, arms slithering around your waist.

“Sorry I’m late, honey. I forgot something at work,” he said softly.

His words carried a certain lilt, weightless and airy, leaving you full of sweet nothings and starved of candour. Did he really? You decided not to reply, tightening your grip as if he’d vanish into thin air.

“Aw,” he removed one of his arms, tilting your chin up with a finger, “were you worried about me?” Gold were his eyes, flecked with scarlet. Amber.

“... yeah,”

He brushed aside your hair, planting a kiss on your forehead. He moved to your cheek, the bridge of your nose, the side of your jaw—you attempted to pull away from the onslaught of kisses, but his grip tightened, keeping you in place.

“Lovel—”

Your protests were subdued when his lip met yours. The hand on your waist pulled your bodies flush against each other, while the other cradled the back of your head, fingers entangled in locks of hair. A tantalising heat roiled in your chest as you reciprocated with overwhelming fervour. When you were just about running out of air, he let you pull back, winded.

“You were saying earlier?” Lovel asked, his own breathing slightly heavier.

“Uh—I should go finish cooking,” you pressed your hands against his chest.

“Let me help you then.”

As you looked into his eyes, you couldn’t find the words to refuse. Your hands ghosted over the base of his neck, feeling sheepish as he stared, before helping him unzip his olive green coat. It slid off with the ease of a snake shedding its skin, and you hung it upon the coat rack while he kicked off his boots. In just a moment his hand intertwined in yours, leading you to the kitchen which held your work-in-progress.

Muted sunlight drifted through the windows, leaving the corners and crevices of the room vignetted. Upon the porcelain enamel countertops rested a cutting board alongside a myriad of vegetables. Nearby, a stream of steam billowed from the vents of the rice cooker whose red light flickered, already prepared. Thawed meat sat in a large pan on the burner.

“I’ll handle the meat. Would you cut the rest of the vegetables for me?”

You nodded. He patted your head, moving to the stove. As you returned to work, you couldn’t help but take glances at your fiance from the corner of your eye. He looked to be in his element, the sleeves of his black turtleneck pulled to his elbows as he shifted the pan around. A mellow tune, so relaxed yet precise, rose and fell from his throat like a threaded needle weaving through silk. You turned back to the cutting board, knife hovering above a stalk of scallions.

You were grateful, truly grateful, that in spite of all your other friends, he was the only one who stayed by your side. That when university and life’s unfortunate happenings reared their ugly heads, he was always there to listen and lend you a shoulder. He was the only one who cared about you. He was the only one who loved you.

And it was suffocating.

The same day reiterated itself. You wake up. You get dressed. You wish Lovel a good day at work. You do insignificant tasks. You wait for him. You greet him when he gets home—actually, that’s the only time when you felt like life had any meaning. Although there’s twenty-four hours in a day, your life was sequestered to the golden hour when he was home, when the etiolated sun rolled gold fog over the neighbourhood (and sometimes, what felt like in your head). You loved him. Yet something about the way he loved you left you feeling hazy; the perpetual golden hour, the stagnant sunlight like a flickering bulb in a dusty attic, it was all-consuming.

“What’re you thinking about?” he whispered, his breath fanning your ear.

A chill rushed through you. His hands rested on the counter on either side of you, your back pressed against his chest.

“It’s nothing.”

You felt the weight of his gaze sear into your skin. Your eyes fixated on the cutting board in front of you; the knife slipping from your trembling grasp. Huh. You didn't realise you were shaking. He hummed, fingers thrumming over the countertop.

“You wouldn’t hide anything from me, right?”

You shook your head.

“Use your words.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“Good.”

He pressed his lips against your temple. Yet the air remained thick with tension, cloying your visage.

“I’m feeling a bit nauseous actually,” you said, removing one of his arms around you. “I’m going to the washroom.”

You left without another word, his stare glued to your back until the hallway turned around the corner. Almost instantly, the heavy atmosphere receded. You shook off the rest of the nerves as you walked. The hall itself stretched on, lined doorway after doorway which glowed dimly under marigold lights. One of such arcs emitted a light brighter than the rest.

You paused. To the right, the sun chiselled a passage between flowing curtains, its lustrous path resting at your feet. Its glimmer enveloped you in a trance, and thus you followed it: a moth to a flame, step by step. With a slight tug at the fabric, you unveiled a sky rippling of tuscan and silver, goldleaf clouds dappled across its expanse—your backyard, still like a painting. The only thing that stood between you and the outside was a glass door. You twisted your head back to the hallway. No one was there. It’ll be okay, you thought. You’ll just take a quick look.

Your hands gripped the edge of the panel, pulling it open merely a smidge. Crisp autumn wind caressed your face, and compared to the stale air inside, you’ve begun to realise liberty’s absence. You dragged the door the rest of the way, invigorated with newfound confidence. Tucked by the entrance was a pair of grey slippers a few sizes bigger than yours, beckoning you to wear them. Your heart pounded. It took but a second to slip them on. It took a few more for you to leap over the border and meet dirt. The grass reached its bowed arms over the exposed skin of your feet, swaying alongside your movements. You couldn't hold back the laugh bubbling up your throat as you hopped further down the yard.

Something twinkled in the sandy sky. You looked up. The sky’s gift landed atop your nose—a snowflake. For a moment you could examine its byzantine structure: geometric symmetry, hexagonal lattices forming crystalline branches. Mother nature’s perfect selenite flora, and just as fragile. Opaque white thawed into a glassy dome, almost like a snowglobe.

“What are you doing out there?”

Lovel’s voice piqued your ears. You tensed. Twisting around, his golden gaze flared in the sunset. He was omnipresent.

He murmured softly, similar to coaxing a hare, “Come back in, you’ll get cold.”

You hesitated.

“(Y/N). Come back.” Now.

That tender smile returned to his face as you ambled up the porch. An arm reached around your shoulder, as if he thought you might get lost. Together, you walked back inside. Back home. Another iteration.

When you turned, attempting to get one last glance at the backyard, he had already pulled the curtains close. Gold. Yet sunrays seeped through the sheer polyester, giving it a luminous, almost gelatinous quality. Like resin beginning to set. He turned to face you.

“If you wanted to go outside, you could’ve asked me.”

‘What does it matter if the answer is no?’ you thought, the sour words held back by the cage of your lips, but not through your eyes. He read your expression.

“Winter’s soon. We both know you’re more susceptible to cold. Do you remember last year?”

“... Yeah.”

“And what kind of future husband would I be to let my love get sick like that again?”

Whatever irritation you harboured melted off from the heat creeping up your face; you looked away. It seemed he always knew what to say.

“We can continue this later. I finished dinner.”

The guilt-ridden wound throbbed dully. You really couldn’t do anything without him. From frustration, to endearment, to shame he orchestrated your emotions in a contorted cacophony until you couldn't tell where one ended and the other started. The world around you blurred as your mind focused on the saline aftertaste of discomfort on your tongue. It is in your best interest to stay. Even so, you think that maybe there’s a world waiting for you outside this house. You want to bask in the extraordinary life of an average person: getting a job, buying a car, being independent.

Your eyes drift down to your feet. Gold wraps around the edge of your toes, ever so languidly creeping up the rest of your figure. Maybe it's too late. Maybe the amber had already crystallised, encasing your body to the confines of your own home.

But when you thought back to that snowflake, so bright and delicate, you couldn’t help but hope. That with the winter and the death of all things so would this old life find its conclusion; and in the dawn of liquescence you’d break through the icy surface, riding the springtide.

“.../N)?”

Twin suns melted the mirage of your mind. Lovel smiled at his seizure of your attention. He threaded his fingers through the contours of your hands, the sensation of skin-against-skin leaving fervid solar flares in its trail. Every inch of you drowned and burned in sunlight.

Yes, you thought. You couldn’t wait for an eclipse.

[sant-riley]

Okay yk what idc I got alot of thoughts of Puerto rican! Reader with the boys, I am not sorry, I need to get this out of my system. so I'm giving her the codename of Teddy :) sorry if that ruins the immersion!

General hcs/thoughts I have with the boys from mw2:

Ghost could destroy an entire pernil by himself. He actively looks forward to it every single Thanksgiving despite him literally not being American and thus doesn't celebrate it. "L.T, don't tell me you're going over to her house just for some pork." "Why yes Johnny, I am." He is not sharing with a single soul, he will break someone's fingers. (Teddy makes him his own at this point so the others can have a try)

Soap fucking chugs Coquito like it's nothing, bc technically it isn't compared to the stuff he has back home. At first he was apprehensive but now he usually goes home with a bottle. He will share but if he sees someone wasting it he will be pissed. It is hard as fuck to come by in Scotland if not the base.

Price very much enjoys the cleaning playist Teddy has, she told him how growing up that that was how her mom told her it was time to get her ass up and do chores. He finds himself playing it early in the morning while he does documents to wake himself up.

Everyone's favorite song round let's go

Soap's favorite - Suavemente

Ghost's favorite - Anhelo (totally not bc he danced with her to this one)

Price's favorite - Danza Kuduro

Gaz's favorite - La Vaca

Alejandro being surprised when he sees a short Hispanic woman with two big ass European men. "Tu con estos dos? de donde eres chiquita?"

Soap fucking pushes himself in and answers for her, a smug little smile from all the little Spanish he picked up. Ghost just rolls his eyes and tries to not groan. Soap being a showoff.

The solidarity between the Vaqueros and Teddy 🤝 different countries but there's alot to have in common.

Teddy cursing in Spanish at the top of her lungs and Alejandra and Rudy snorting. "You kiss your grandmother with that mouth?"

The boys have in fact danced with her when she's feeling homesick, each one. Soap and Gaz don't mind doing it in public where as Ghost and Price rather do it in their rooms/her room. Ghost and Price will say its good exercise but we all know the truth.

When fresh food is available, they'll ask her to make the food she eats off duty. It's different combinations of rice and beans, along with meat always.

Everyone fucking devours tostones btw. Literally they have to buy so many plantains to make sure everyone has their fill or there will in fact be a fight.

SHE MAKES THEM HELP MAKE PASTELES!! It's a whole assembly line. Christmas is a war zone in of itself trying to make the shits.

Ghost drinks Cafe bustelo straight out the machine. No one else can stand the stuff bc it's too strong.

When sofrito has to be made, everyone makes Soap cut the onions lmfao, the worst part of the entire process.

Everyone starts to saying spanglish around base, Gaz switching from English to accented Spanish is a interesting sight 😭 Teddy mocks him as if she isn't to blame.

THE WAY GHOST SAYS NUEVO IN RESPONSE TO LEAVING ALEJANDRO AND HE GETS FLAMED FOR IT BC THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY OF COURSE.

"Really? Nuevo? Do you know what that means?" "Oh for fucks sakes."

Okay I'm tired and my fingers hurt from typing all of this lol I'll add more probably at some point!

If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!

[charlottecutepie]

☥ Bunny meat (William Afton x fem!reader x Michael Afton)

Summary: He was a likeable middle-aged man who had wonderful children, his dream job and a beautiful wife. He never blamed himself for his own actions, or to be more exact, he never thought about their consequences.

tags: darkfic, unhealthy relationship, angst, smut with plot, p in v, dubcon, oral sex, rough and gentle sex, daddy kink, blood play, knife play, fear play, hurt/comfort, violence, gore/murders, child abuse, follows fnaf lore, moral and physical abuse, virginity kink, anxiety disorder, age gap, daddy issues, unreliable narrator, hallucinations, hidden pairing, William is sick, psychopathy, unhealthy narcissism

Chapter 5. Desire

Surprisingly, Wiliam behaved restrained, but inside him everything was on fire, he wanted to take you here and now, harshly and rudely, do things with you what he had long dreamed of all this time, but he knew perfectly well that if he snapped now, you'd be even more scared, cut with him all connections and will avoid him, and maybe even do something to yourself, because you're nothing but a little frightened lamb. A little creature who grew up alone, not needed by anyone, who didn't receive the proper amount of love and attention from her father. And that's why Afton thought he was the perfect source of all these feelings for you.

Perhaps, to some extent, he felt sorry you. However, his mind ignored such thoughts.

“William,” you spoke to him. “Is there no one at home?”

“Yes, Clara with kids left, I don't know where. She said she wouldn't be back until the morning.”

…

The Afton house is still same as it was before. Only coffee machine bought by the father of the family has changed. Although he earned a lot of money, little of it went to home improvement, Afton always invested only in the pizzeria, trying to make it as visible and attractive as possible.

It was also impossible to ignore the couch that was in the living room of the house. For you as a child, it was the most favourite object in Afton's house, you sat on it with Michael in the evenings and watched cartoons. When you had sleepovers with other kids, you hid under the covers because of Michael's scary stories. You often fell asleep on it late at night, without waiting for your mom, although she promised that she'd pick you up from the guests, but sometimes she never showed up because of scandals with her husband.

This couch evoked hundreds of emotions and nice memories.

But now, one more thing will be added to all these early memories: the way you lie on this couch under man who you saw as father, no matter how strange it sounds.

“You're so… beautiful,” he hovered over your body, his eyes running over it. “such delicate skin, like an angel's.” he took your hand, interlacing your fingers, kissing them. All thoughts in your head gathered into one big ball, you tried to analyze the situation somehow, but useless, because of his actions, you felt lost. William breathed out your name and greedily pressed his lips to your neck, showering it with light kisses.

You closed your eyes and turned your head to the side to give him more space, trying to relax, it seems you were succeeding. But unexpectedly for you, you felt him bite your neck.

“Oh!” bursted out of you, your free hand burrowed into his hair, trying to pull him away. “William, it hurts…” he looked up at you.

“I’m so sorry, bunny,” he smiled warmly at you. “I’ll be gentle.” he moved closer, gently kissing you on the corner of your lips. You leaned forward, hoping that this innocent kiss would turn into something more, however, Afton had other plans, he grinned and straightened up. “So impatient.”

He unbuttoned first three buttons of his purple shirt, which was enough for you to see the strange scars covering his body. You couldn't help, interest took over and your hands tentatively touched the bare area of his body.

“Where are they from?” you asked softly, causing him to chuckle again.

“It doesn't matter now, sweetheart.” he loosened the belt of his pants, after which he kissed your neck again, this time he kept his promise: you felt his tongue licking little wound he made. William took you by the hips, moving your body closer to him. “Y/n, you want this, don't you?”

“I… uh, I don't know.”

There is silence in response. William could tease you and your body for hours, nibbling and kissing it, making you sigh languidly, but this night he wanted to satisfy you first. He wanted to make you dependent on him, so that you couldn't live a day without his touch, so that you took the initiative yourself, so that you were head over heels in love. Corrupt you. However, he didn't know you were already so dependent on him, you want him to love you like in fairy tales about princesses, you want him to give you all the love that you were deprived of as a child. You just wanted someone to save you from loneliness.

You felt something hard pressing against the inside of your thigh, but you didn't want to look at what it was because of your wild embarrassment. Afton took something out of his pants pockets.

“Here, I see you need it,” you saw him holding out his hand to you with some kind of strange round pill. Confused, you looked at him, waiting for some explanation. William only laughed and ran his finger over your lips, opening them. “Yeah, and here it is, good girl.” he said, pushing the pill deeper until, due to the urge to vomit, you grabbed his wrist. “I'm sorry, baby, I just don't have anything to wash down the pill with.”

“What is it?” you winced at the unpleasant taste.

“Tranquilizers so you don't get nervous. Actually, they're mine, but I can tell by the look on your face they'll be useful for you too.” his hands carefully, as if afraid to scare you even more, undid the clasp of the dress, lowering it from your shoulders down. Unable to contain your shyness, you tried to hold the fabric on your body until William looked at you, as if mentally saying “don't.” Then your grip loosened, there was nothing you could do but obey. “that's it, good girl.”

When he wanted to take off the dress completely, you still grabbed on it, not letting it slide off your hips.

“Princess, if you keep doing this, then we won't succeed.” William looked into your eyes, putting your hands behind your head. “I won't hurt you.”

You nodded, trying to lose yourself in your feelings again. It seemed to be easier with the help of a sedative. You didn't even notice how you were only in your underwear in front of him.

“Damn, you're incredible.” he threw the dress somewhere on the floor, kissing you on the cheek while his hands caressed your hips and waist. You bit your lip to stifle a groan. Fuck, no one has ever touched you like that, especially in places like this, and when William ran his hand along the inside of your thigh, inadvertently touching your crotch, you arched your back. “it felt good, didn't it?”

William repeated the movement, but now paying more attention to your clothed pussy. The excitement took over, forcing you to move your hips towards his movements. A shudder of desire went through your whole body, Afton saw it perfectly, he kissed your collarbone, going lower to your breasts.

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I've been dreaming about this.” those words echoed in your head, but you didn't pay attention to it. “Honey, you're just so beautiful.” William ran his hands over your breasts, pinching your nipples hard with excitement.

“William…” you got the courage. He looked at you questioningly, damn, you hoped you said it so quietly that it would go unnoticed. “kiss me, please.”

He laughed. In a moment, his lips are on yours, like a predator. At that moment, you forgot absolutely everything, giving yourself completely to him. You moaned into his mouth, feeling his long fingers touching your pussy through your soaked panties. With one imperious movement, he pulls off the last piece of clothing, leaving you completely naked in front of him.

“And now? Not so scary anymore?”

“I don't know what i feel…” you were in turmoil, all fears and thoughts disappeared, a wild desire came to replace, no, not of intimacy, not of sex. But his affectionate words and compliments, the way he touches you, his gentle kisses and hugs, the way he treats you.

His fingers gently touch your labia, slowly and smoothly they move in circular movements along clit, getting another moan from you. With his other hand, he holds your legs, preventing you from moving away and closing them.

“And now, honey?”

“It's weird, but…” you avoided his gaze. ”feels good…” you answered unsure. Smiling contentedly, he removed his fingers. You noticed that as soon as his hands left your body, his movements in relation to himself instantly changed: he roughly, jerkily took off his belt and unbuttoned the fly of his pants, pulling them down. It’s like he was controlling himself when touching you.

“Lick them.” Afton said in a commanding tone, running his fingers over your lips. It was terribly embarrassing for you, but you did as he said anyway. You watched his actions with a note of sweet and naive excitement, the way his fingers penetrated deeper and deeper, pressing on your tongue, again caused unpleasant sensations to vomit. “Sorry, but there's no other way, I don't have any lube.”

When he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, quite considering how wet they were, you felt uncomfortable, but probably if you tell him about it, he's unlikely to listen and stop. The only thing left to do was to lie under him like a doll and enjoy.

“You're an obedient girl, aren't you?” his fingers went back to your glistening pussy, caressing your needy clit. Your breathing stopped instantly.

“Yes…” you whimpered when you felt his fingers, wet with your own saliva and grease, smoothly, insanely slowly entering you. William is building up the pace, not too fast, but enough to make soft sweet moans come out of your mouth. “Daddy…” you drawled languidly, feeling your soft walls tighten around his long fingers.

“Yes, princess?” Afton kisses your neck while his free hand wraps around his cock that was already out of his trousers, hard and dripping with precum. “Tell daddy what you want.”

“Please, want more…” you whispered in his ear, this time trying to be as seductive and sexy as possible. William found it funny.

“You'll get more, baby,” his breath tickled your skin. “Daddy will make you feel good.” Afton pulled out his fingers, causing you to moan in disappointment, oh, how he enjoyed it, it felt like he was ready to cum just from your angelic voice.

William tilted his head, being between your legs. The whole picture made you dizzy, you glance at him in surprise, trying to predict what will happen next. William grins, seeing how your curiosity plays tricks on you when he gives your clit a tender kiss.

“Ohhh, daddy,” this word is so vulgar, it sounds completely indecent on your tongue, but right now you don't care, all that matters is William Afton and the wild need to be needed by someone, loved, appreciated. “Yeah…”

The release builds up with an unfamiliar, wildly pleasant feeling in the lower stomach, making you want to close your legs, but his hands continued to hold them apart. His tongue feels too good, slowly moving in circular movements over your cunt, paying more attention to your clit while two fingers slowly and smoothly fucks you, forcing you to switch from moans to sobs and soft screams.

William accelerates, his movements getting faster and rougher, but no less passionate, making you arch from pleasure. With one hand buried in his dark brown hair, you try to set the pace, but he can do fine without you, so it's useless, he's much more experienced. He explored you with his tongue until the trembling left your supple body. William could feel your walls clenching around his fingers. His free hand continued to jerk himself off with increasing movements, while he was eating you out.

You sighed desperately when Afton stopped stimulating you with his tongue, lifting his head and looking at your reaction, his fingers still inside.

“Do you want to cum for daddy?” he asks, you just nod quickly, wishing of putting an end to these sweet torments that drive you crazy. “No, I need you to say it, honey.”

“Yes, yes, yesss,” you say brokenly. “I…” an uncertain pause. “I want to cum, daddy, please!” oh, it was so humiliating, but what was more terrible that you liked it.

“Good girl.” William increased the intensity of his movements, hitting all right sweet spots of yours. You moaned loudly, feeling everything tense in your lower abdomen, which means an imminent orgasm. “do it, cum while I fuck your little pussy with my fingers.” William growled, his hand that was touching his own cock stopped, now squeezing your neck, pressing on the carotid artery, but hearing your wheezing, he his grip loosens.

Your moans, which are more like crying, turn into loud, piercing “oohs”, your head's spinning, your brain's melting, everything is like in a fog, you can't even see Afton's face. The long-awaited release is catching up with you. You cum, you cum so hard that you feel ecstasy running through your whole body, you feel that your breathing becomes ragged, and your pussy clenching on his fingers.

“Such a good girl,” because of orgasm, you don't even hear what he says, and you don't want to, you need time to regain your strength. “it's my turn now, baby.”

He takes his fingers out, brings them to his mouth and licks them, studying your reaction. William touches his member again, his heartbeat quickens, his eyes now closed, apparently he's thinking about something. Yes, he's definitely imagining something in his head.

“Tell me, do you love daddy?“ he asked, his voice hoarse from excitement. He isn't even looking at you.

“Yes,” you responses quietly. Taking advantage of the moment, you look at him in detail while he doesn't notice. Damn, how handsome he was, his long, such aristocratic fingers that played with the tip of his cock, rubbing cum along entire length, his slightly disheveled but insanely beautiful brown hair like milk chocolate, his sharp cheekbones, it was stupid to deny that he was unattractive. “I love daddy, I love you, William.” you didn't even fully understand what you were talking about. You was just saying what he wanted to hear.

He pumps his cock faster, you see how he shuddered, like saying your name or something else, you can't understand. But you catch yourself thinking that it's damn beautiful. If your mom found out what you were doing, she probably wouldn't be happy.

He cums on your stomach, with a loud groan, and then, breathing heavily, falls on the couch next to you, staring blankly at the ceiling. What is he thinking about? Is he even thinking now? You're lying obediently by his side, trying to figure out what just happened, but your brain doesn't want to think, your head is aching, your temples are throbbing. William turns to you, then looks at the crumpled dress on the floor, then back at you.

“Let's go to the shower, bunny, I'll help you wash up.”

…

The next morning came for you only closer to 12, when you were suddenly woken up by the sound of the door opening. It was Clara with Michael and Elizabeth. Confused, not even realizing that you were in their house, you jumped up from the couch.

“Michael, give Elizabeth that hoodie, you're not wearing it anyway.” woman's voice was heard somewhere in the hallway area, which means that she was nearby.

“Mom, these are my things, and just because I don't wear them doesn't mean that—”

Michael entered living room, but when he saw you, he froze in place.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” he asked, a slight smile appearing on his face.

“Who are you talking to?” Clara’s voice sounded, but as soon as she appeared in the room, her emotions immediately changed. “Oh, hello, honey.” woman affectionately called your name, coming up to you and sitting down on the sofa. “Elizabeth, go say hello to Y/n!”

Girl immediately rushed over, you noticed a plush toy in her hands, it seems it was the same robot girl drawing of which Elizabeth recently showed you. She greeted you cheerfully, all you could do was say an awkward “hello” in response, still trying to remember how you even ended up here. Clara stroked your head, her gaze fixed on your face, on your tousled hair and lost expression. You knew that you had to say something in your own defense, why you were here.

“Sorry for such an oversight, I had some problems with my mom, and Mr. Afton told me to spend the night here.” you lied, and then mentally slapped yourself. Damn, this is so dumb. The Afton family knew that you had the best relationship with your mom and that you had never argued. You doubted how truth your words sounded, but judging by Clara's reaction, everyone believed you.

“Honey, I'm glad that you have somewhere to go, you know that we'll always welcome you with hugs,” she said tenderly, with maternal love. “You must be hungry. I'll go to the store and cook breakfast, what do you think?”

There was no point in lying further, you really needed something to eat, so you silently agreed.

Mrs. Afton went to the nearest grocery store, taking Elizabeth with her. You and Michael were left alone, you gradually began to remember what happened, and with the realization that you and Afton had something, you were overtaken by a sickening anxiety, causing your toes and hands to go numb and shake, and your heart to beat faster. You two were sitting on this damn couch watching TV, however, neither of you was interested in what the old screen was showing. You were sitting hugging your knees, wondering whose clothes you were wearing: they were of a child surely, with some kind of cartoon print, a t-shirt and, as it seems, Michael's pants. He didn't hesitate to look at you from head to toe, which slightly annoyed you.

“Michael, stop staring.” You hissed, tucking your face into your lap.

“I'm just trying to figure out,” he paused, thinking about something. “why are you wearing my dead brother's t-shirt?”

“What?”

“Well… I'm not accusing you of anything… it's just…” he scratched his head, clearly not knowing what to say to you. ”Okay, forget it. It's just my shit in my head.”

“Michael, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…” you looked at him. Why did William choose his dead son's clothes out of all? “There must be some kind of misunderstanding.”

“It's nothing, y/n, you shouldn't worry so much about it.”

You looked at the TV, trying to come up with some kind of ridiculous excuse, but in vain. And how long can you lie?

“Speaking of my brother… today, Elizabeth, mom and I went to his grave.” Michael muttered, you knew perfectly well that this topic of conversation wasn't the best, because the he blamed himself enough for what happened. You decided that the best thing you can do now is just listen to him. “You know… it's already overgrown with grass. We had to work hard to get the grave back to normal. Oh, and there's also a lot of webs.”

You knew that only people who cared for Evan's gravestone were Clara and Michael. William, after his son's death, never visited grave, and even more so, didn't attend the funeral, citing the fact that he had a lot of work. And when Evan was in a coma, with minimal chance of survival, Michael came to him almost every day, crying and begging for forgiveness.

You knew that Michael was just a traumatized guy and it was useless to blame him for all this, he had already heard a lot about himself from his father, so you just moved closer to him when you noticed him dropping tears on the couch and hugged him.

Half an hour later, Mrs. Afton returned from the store. Michael wasn't in such good mood as before, but as soon as his mother crossed the threshold of their house, he seemed to put on a mask of happiness, meeting her and helping to carry bags into the kitchen.

For breakfast, which smoothly turned into lunch, Clara served macaroni and cheese and caesar salad. Your stomach, which hasn't received normal hot food for a long time, rejoiced and you ate all two portions in a few minutes. Elizabeth talked most of all at the table, telling you something about robots and toys again. Yes, once upon a time Michael, and Clara herself, told you that she took after her father. She's also interested in mechanics and loves animatronics.

Looking at this whole family, you felt guilty about yesterday. Probably, to some extent, you even hated yourself. Mrs. Afton, the nicest woman you've ever known, after your mom, of course. Michael is a devoted and faithful friend, as well as a caring brother, Elizabeth is just the sunshine of this family, cheerful, everyone's favorite. And William is a charming and likeable man who was ready to do anything for his family and work. At least that's how the family seemed to you in your head.

You're lost in your own thoughts, stopped listening to Elizabeth's babble. The damn guilt was eating you, making you sick of yourself. How could you do that? How dare you drag a married man, the head of the family, into bed, and then sit at the same table with his family, smiling innocently at everyone. What the fuck is wrong with you? Mrs. Afton will definitely find out, Michael will find out and Elizabeth will find out, and then you will become a disgrace to the whole town. You will become known as a little slut who seduced a married man. Not just a man, but William Afton himself.

“By the way, honey, did William tell you where he is?” Clara asked, and you squinted, trying to remember what Afton had told you before you dozed off.

“He said he was going to the pizzeria to work.” you said, it was true. Clara's face changed.

“What?” a rhetorical question. “he never worked on that day, he always had a day off exactly… today.”

Meanwhile, William was already at the pizzeria.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Pet Sitter AU

So anyways ummm I've had this locked and loaded for a while. It's not complete. Buuuut it's a comfort AU for me so I shall talk about it when I need it most! (Like rn) I have more I'll add eventually, but if you have any world-building questions lmk!!!

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The premise/the basis of all this is Cater needs to get away from home when he's finally at his breaking point and ends up leaving, no plans, nothing packed, just his wallet, his phone + charger, and the clothes on his back. He ends up calling in an old favour to Trey, a classmate he hasn't seen or spoken to in years, who comes to pick him up off the street and lets him stay in his apartment he shares with Che'nya until Cater can get back on his feet.

Cater recognizes he needs to get his shit together, but he's a depressed mess and has largely been isolated from other people besides his family, so when another person in the apartment needs a last minute pet sitter, he figures it's a small enough task he can handle.

this is based off of this comic

In which Idia has a skrunkly ass stray cat named Meat Spud (Cater does not want to touch it whatsoever bc it has. no fur. He's used to his sister's big fluffy spoiled cats)

The Apartment

So like. Idk, my brain liked the idea of each floor of an apartment building being more luxurious than the floor below it. Im by no means an architect or have any bg in this stuff, apologies if it like. Irks anyone sldkjfhlskdjf

it's a 15 story apartment building with roof access

- First Floor - Apartments are one bedroom, a kitchen and a living room, as well as a small "porch" area outside. There are communal bathrooms + laundry. Unfurnished Rent is ~$560 a month (about 20 apartments are available) There's also a communal deep freeze for anyone who needs more room for their food, but the apartment is not responsible for any losses that may occur.

- Second floor - Still one (larger) bedroom/kitchen/living area, but you get your own bathroom (woo), but the shower is like. the same design as a public shower, you know? like just the spout coming out from the wall. Tenants are still expected to use the laundry room on the first floor though. Small balcony/outdoor area. Comes with a bed + couch. Rent is ~$610 a month (about 15 apartments available)

- Third floor - options for two bedroom apartments become available, but the rooms are Very Small. Balcony is about the same size as the second floor. There is room for a small dining area. The bathroom has a free standing shower. Rent is ~$660 a month (Also about 15 apartments available) Rent has some variation depending on whether you get a furnished or partially furnished apartment

- Fourth floor - More spacious in general, better options for two bedroom spaces if needed, there is a gym on this floor which kinda cuts into how many apartments are available. Most are partially furnished, but there are options available/the lease is negotiable to a certain extent. Still just a free standing shower in the bathroom. Yes there's still a balcony. Rent is ~$700 a month (only about 7 apartments available because of the gym)

- Fifth floor - Tenants finally get their own laundry machines lkjshdfkjdf woo, more spacious, etc. they get a bath + shower combo in the bathroom + a decent sized balcony. They can opt in/out for once a month room service for an additional $50 a month (this increases by $10 the higher the floor but remains an option). Rent is ~$800 a month (about 10 apartments available)

- Sixth to eighth floor are all about the same, just getting slightly bigger (like by 1-3 square feet) as they go up, but they all become two bedroom options. Rent falls between ~$850-$870 with about 8 apartments available on each floor.

- ninth to twelveth floor are all about the same, they get a shower and a bath in their (2) bathrooms, like they're separate from each other, they have walk in closets in the master bedrooms, and they get a storage room. They still are 2 bedroom. Rent falls between $1100 - $1350 a month (only 6 available on each floor)

- there is a thirteenth floor, but it's not an option on the elevator. The owners of the apartment are superstitious and don't rent out any rooms on the thirteenth floor, but wanted to HAVE a thirteenth floor bc...in the event there are ghosts or something in their apartment they would be stuck on the floor with the most energy?? Idk man. Nothing is furnished. Just empty rooms. "Empty" Rooms. :)

- The fourteenth floor is like. luxury apartments. they get the whole shebang with walk in closets for every (3) bedroom, full bathrooms (2) huge livingroom, huge kitchen with up to date appliances, and once a month there's a full course meal that's just brought to the tenants for dinner. They're living the high life for the same price a lot of people are sharing a house with four people withs flkjshdlkjfsdf Rent is ~$2000-$2100 a month. There are only 4 of these apartments, the balcony wrapping around each one

- and of course, the fifteenth floor. Literally. It's like having an actual house to live in but you get a great view of the city from above. It's ridiculous. four bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, like it's just big and beautiful and bright. as for the food, it's "complimentary" (factored into rent) and happens every other week. Or it would if the people living up there didn't opt out of it lsdkjfhlksdjf the apartment owners don't care it saves them money. Rent is ~$2500 a month.

And you might be like. hey. that rent doesn't actually sound that bad.

I know.

I know. Like I share Half a house with four other girls and the total rent per month is $3100. My rent alone is $575. But I wanted to be nice (I did not plan out the rent before this and I simply do not care enough to change it I think I'm being "reasonable" with it)

ONTO THE CHARACTERS

Okay:

Basement

- Jamil (22) – Yeeeah baby he gets the whole basement to himself. Almost. Like there’s a section for all the maintenance and storage stuff, but he gets to live at the hotel rent free because he’s friends with the owners (the Asim’s), and works for them at the front desk. He doesn’t even have to do the cleaning. It’s the freakin’ dream. In order to actually make money though, he does have side gigs so he can deck out the basement however he wants + do what he wants for fun. He has plans to keep snakes eventually, but he’s saving up for his dream enclosure as well as the extra heat lamps he would need for down there.

First Floor

- Ace (21)- Ace's mother divorced their dad she found out about some of the bad habits he had been up to. Just a little over a year ago, his mom became extremely ill and his big brother Jack became the main provider of the family, trying to take care of their mom and his little brother. Ace knew he wasn't outwardly being a burden, but he still felt like one and decided to save up and move out. Shortly after moving out, he lost his job, so he's desperately been searching for another one, but also been doing what he can as a little entrepreneur. Nothing's been super successful yet, which has been super discouraging but he has a couple repeat clients for his stickers that he makes. He also has 4 pet hamsters which he keeps on a live stream most of the time, (they're all named after card games). All he has for furniture is a desk, two rickety old chairs he probably found in an alley somewhere, his mattress and a dresser. His place is a bit of a mess with the stress he's under, and he's had to ask Jack for money a couple times which only makes him feel worse.

- Riddle (18)- Riddle has been playing violin since he was just A Baby (like 3) and had been on fairly good terms with his mother. She encouraged him to move to the city as a means of giving himself more opportunities, and she would pay for his rent. A few months in, Riddle realizes oh shit. I'm gay. And decides to come out to his mother because he has no reason to believe she wouldn't take it well. Well. she doesn't. She immediately disowns him and stops paying his rent for him. He can barely pay for one month on his own, and decides he needs a roommate. He did not really....do any digging into his roommate because he was just desperate to have one...(eventually, when things get better, he gets a pet hedgehog)

- Ruggie (21) - Riddle's Roommate :) He's the only reason Riddle's apartment is furnished, because he manages to find things on sale or on the street or whatever and clean it up. He thought Riddle was joking when he said he wanted to be a musician In This Economy. Ruggie doesn't mind one bit sleeping on the couch. He keeps himself sustained through whatever means necessary. (Doesn’t really want a pet because of the cost, but likes Riddle’s hedgehog a lot)

Second Floor

- Rook (24) – Rook is a blue collar worker, I think in construction? He owns a really old, well behaved golden lab and a brand new, very energetic bichon frisee puppy. They absolutely adore each other. He has no contact with any of his family.

- Deuce (19) – Moved out to be closer to work. He’s currently an apprentice as a mechanic, but on the side he offers blastcycle modifications (so long as they’re legal), and also babysits! He ends up adopting like 4 German Shepard mix (unknown, they’re not purebred) puppies with his roommate because they were both too much of bleeding hearts to give them away or sell them once they found them. It was already tight, (spaciously), because their one bedroom was already split in half with a paper divider, but they surrendered the livingroom to the puppies. Money wise, it is a little tight.

- Epel (19) – Deuce’s roomie. He was the one who found the puppies. He tried to leave them, he really did but Then He Couldn’t. Epel’s family supports him because their farm is successful, it’s not ‘a lot’ but they send him about $150 a month just to help out in the big city. Epel met Deuce at work, his lease was almost up and asked if he could move in because Deuce was venting a little bit about rent. Epel is apprenticing as a fabricator – he’s already a pretty good mechanic because of the upkeep he had to do on the farm, but fabrication seemed fun, profitable, and secure so he decided to try it out. Lowkey has a goal to get into all the trades as an apprentice eventually. He also has his own blastcycle and does late night delivery service as a side gig.

- Jack (19) – Moved to the city to go to school. He wrote home about how he felt really…lonely without his family, and his mom ended up gifting him a Samoyed puppy the next time he came home. She sends him money for all puppy related expenses, and he works part time at a fast food restaurant to help sustain his rent. He’s going to school on a scholarship for his athleticism, and could technically afford a nicer apartment, but he’s trying to be smart with his money. He’s also working to develop his own fitness trainer app because he wants to help people exercise to feel good, not necessarily to loose weight or anything.

- (Nameless OC) – She’s like a 75 year old widow who has a crush on her upstairs neighbour on floor 4. She’s adorable, she’s a little Korean grandma. Every now and then her daughter comes to visit. Her daughter is the one who ends up adopting (human) Grim + Gidel (both friends with Ortho) (Jack helps her bring up her groceries a lot)

Third Floor

- Jade + Floyd (21) – They actually live in a single room apartment, because they toured both a two bedroom and single room and found that they could make more use of bedroom space in a single room. They’ve never met Azul in this AU (I’ll explain this later in ‘relationships’) and are fairly new to land. Jade’s side of the room is all terrariums, his isopods and springtails are his baaaaabies. Floyd has a huge glass enclosure on his side of the room for his Albino Burmese Python. He thought it was a ball python when he first got it. Uh. Yeah. He puts in a lot of work and sourcing people who can teach him how to care for it properly, he’s a great snake dad. When it’s available, Jade will feed the shed skin of Floyd’s snake to his isopods. Floyd also retains some of his strength from having been a mer, so it’s not entirely uncommon for him to answer the door with a snake scarf. They’ve both got working Visas for now to be on land, and Jade is working towards figuring out all the paperwork to become land citizens for both of them. Jade works in a greenhouse, but also sells custom terrariums, Floyd works at a pizza place and LOVES it.

- Trey (23) – He works at his parents bakery basically for free, as they make sure he has enough to cover his rent, groceries and phone bills. He only moved out to escape the chaos that is his household of (hc) 11 children. He is a volunteer firefighter, and the apartment Loves him because he brings leftover treats the bakery can’t sell anymore and just gives them out. Also just. The third floor smells great, all the time because he’s always baking something or other.

- Che’nya (22) – A bit of a freelancer, Trey isn’t even entirely sure what Che’nya does for work, but he always pays his rent on time so he doesn’t really care. Most of the time though, Che’nya works at a coffeeshop. They don’t have a pet in the apartment, though Che’nya kinda wants one.

Fourth Floor

- (Nameless OC) – 76 year old Korean grandpa. Has a crush on the lady two floors below him. They’re adorable and will end up together eventually sldkjhlksdf

Fifth Floor

- Azul (22) – Also a musician, he plays piano and has mommy’s money sustaining him for the most part lmao He’s managed to land a few gigs here and there, but it’s not really enough to keep him going. He ends up getting work at a museum as the person at the front desk and really enjoys it. He gets a couple perks that really make the job worth it (free lunch + 2 museum passes a month so he can go in for free with a friend. If he had any friends) He has a rather impressive tropical fish aquarium.

I don’t have anyone I Want on the 6th floor

Seventh Floor

- Silver (23) – Was raised in the foster care system, but never adopted. He vaguely remembers being taken off the streets and somewhere warm by some black and pink long-haired Guy but that’s about it. He’s always been pretty resourceful, and runs his own, small pajama company, has been since he was 18. He mostly gets to work from home now which is really nice. He owns 2 bearded dragons. He only has a roommate because he didn’t see the point in having a wasted space of a bedroom. It’s kinda funny because it’s almost like there’s an invisible line in the apartment where you can tell which roommate decorated which side of the space sldjfhksdjf

- Sebek (18) – Silver’s roommate. It’s his first time living away from home and he doesn’t really know how to cope. He insists he knows what he’s doing, but Silver can tell he has a lot of life skills left to develop and tries to teach him in subtle ways. While this will be mentioned again later, Sebek is emo in this au LMAO. Sebek also insists that he doesn’t care about the bearded dragons, but he learns how to handle them and ends up loving them and helping Silver take care of them without being asked. Sebek’s dad helps him pay for half of his rent, but he’s responsible for his own groceries which…is where he finds it more difficult to be honest. Sebek was initially going to go into school to become a dental assistant, but he finds it. So boring. And kinda gross. So he ends up going to become a veterinarian. Is his ‘bedside manner’ the best with animals? No. But he’ll learn. Sebek currently works part-time as a parking attendant.

Eighth Floor

- Idia (23) + Ortho (9) (this is a lil. Depressy-espressy okay?) – A little over a year ago, Ortho was in a car crash with his parents. It ended up orphaning the Shrouds and left Ortho crippled from the waist down. Idia feels like he should carry some of the blame because he didn’t get there fast enough, he wasn’t there to protect his brother, etc. etc. but Ortho doesn’t blame him for anything. Idia did inherit the family home, but it felt too big and empty without his parents, and Ortho said he wanted a new space to try and reset. So they’re living off their parents will + business money still, Idia doesn’t really have to do much to keep it running so he can focus largely on Ortho. Ortho’s mobility is very limited early on, using only a wheel chair, but as he attends physiotherapy, he learns to use forearm crutches and he’s very optimistic about being able to walk again. Ortho attends online school, after having challenged a few grades, he’s working on grade 7 level homework/classes. Idia only takes in his cat, Meat Spud, about a month before Cater shows up. It’s a feral, horrifically mannered little gremlin but he Loves It and is the first thing in a long time that kinda shocked him out of his depression for a little bit. Ortho named it. He also refuses to touch it lsdjhlkjsdf but he finds it funny. Ortho deeeesperately wants a White’s Tree Frog because he’s done his research and knows he could handle it. He wants to name it. Cornelius. Also, the kid just generally. Loves frogs. Please let him info dump to you. Please. He knows So Much.

I got nobody in my mind until floor 13

- Lilia(???) – He’s the ‘ghost’ of the apartment. Not really. He is a squatter. Nobody knows how he got in. Nobody cares enough to shoo him out or complain about it because most people don’t even know he’s there. He’s got ‘pet’ rats. They’re city rats he’s befriended with food. It’s not that he doesn’t have money. Don’t ask me to explain him I don’t fully know how it works yet sldkjfhlskdjf

Jumping up to the 15th floor

- Vil (24) – A model, and actor and a successful fashion designer, Vil loved the concept of the apartment which was really the only reason he chose to move in rather than own his own place. He is trained as a falconer, and does have a ‘pet’ falcon. ‘Pet’ as in it is not captive bred, but it was a rescue. For the most part, it flies freely, and only comes back to the apartment for the sake of companionship or for a safe place to sleep. Vil mostly keeps tabs on it’s health. (I need to research this more but like it’s less of a pet and more just a wild animal Vil has favour with and he recognizes that.) He also has two Great Danes from the same litter named Iris and Poppy

- Vizzie (21) – She is a vtuber and Vil’s roommate (will go over this more in Relationships). In person, she is *largely* non-verbal. She’s more of a listener/observer. She has a ‘pet’ crow. Shortly after being friends with Vil she found an injured fledgling and followed instructions over the phone on how to care for it to transport it to a National Wildlife Rehabilitation Center, then decides she would like to actually like to become licensed as a wildlife rehab. Officer. When that crow was cleared to return to the wild, it ended up following her around anyways, so once she finished her certification she knew legally she *could* handle the crow if need be. She ended up getting permission to set up an ‘enrichment station’ on the roof, so ‘her’ crow can has a safe, man-made stimulation board basically and can bring any of it’s friends along, but it’s also not uncommon to see it sitting on her shoulder. It is trained well enough that she brings it into the apartment now and then, but most of it’s time is spent outside. It also loves delivering messages for her. It’s name is Ragnar.

- Neige (22) – You’ll never guess. Yeah. He’s a successful model, actor and fashion designer. He’s got permission from the owners to keep pigeons on the roof. You can imagine the commotion that happens when they see Vil’s falcon, even if Vil does stay on the opposite side of the roof when he interacts with it. He likes the apartment because it’s central so all the volunteer and charity opportunities are within walking distance. He ends up also bringing home a box of sopping wet kittens at one point, but gives all but one away because of his roommate.

- Leona (25) – Neige’s roommate. I think both his parents recently passed away, so the family business was passed onto his brother. Falena is concerned about Leona’s mental and physical health, so offered to pay his rent for him. Leona wasn’t going to say no. Currently doesn’t have a job. Doesn’t really plan to get a job. He will eventually become a lawyer (?). He ends up adopting the runt of the litter of kittens Neige brought home and named her Mgambo. She’s got a tortoise-shell coat.

----------------------------------

Others

- Kalim (22)– his parents own the apartment. He wanted to live there, but they ended up buying him his own place. It doesn’t matter, he’s in the lobby every day, (no job), chattering away to Jamil and trying to contain his six ferrets and an African Grey Parrot that he keeps mostly on his shoulder. He isn’t the most responsible pet owner, but he loves them and tries his best. Jamil often gives him pointers, and he listens to all of them (most are to make Jamil’s life easier but keeps Kalim’s pets safer anyways)

- Malleus (??)– Not quite sure where he lives in the city, but he knows Lilia lives at the apartment and goes to visit him often. He doesn’t understand why he chooses to live the way he does, but won’t comment on it. He has a pet raven but Idrk how he got it. If it’s even legal. It is a happy bird though and that’s what matters most.

-------------------------------------

I'll elaborate on more ships later but for now

Azul + Riddle – The twins instigate this lmao, they’re right in between the two musicians and love just laying on their balcony after a long day and listening to both of them practice. Floyd ends up yelling down to Riddle that Azul – the pianist above them, said his music lacks emotion, and Jade tells Azul in passing that while *he* enjoys his music, the little redhead on the first floor said that his music sounds amateurish. This sparks a competition between the two. Keep in mind. They can’t really hear each other. They’re both just swayed by the twins words . It ends up helping both of them, as Riddle realizes he’s always played the violin for his mothers approval, it’s always been mechanical to him, so he slowly starts to really tune in (hehe) to his emotions, why he chooses to play the violin, the sense of loss he feels with his mother, but still wanting to make her proud, and a part of his mind thinking if he can ‘beat’ Azul, if his mother knew, she would be proud, but that slowly becomes less and less important as time goes on. Azul, on the other hand, knows that he’s had less time than the many musicians to perfect his craft, but he’s mostly been forcing himself to learn impressive sounding pieces rather than really learning the basics and practicing them. Eventually there will be a night where they can hear each other, maybe like all the electricity goes out and either out of boredom or to try and lift people’s spirits they both end up playing, but it’s the first time they really hear each other play and they manage to make something beautiful. The twins then ‘ruin’ the moment after a beat of silence from both of them to ask when they’ll finally go on a date. Both immediately deny wanting anything like that. By the next week Azul mentions something about having a free pass to the museum and Riddle doesn’t think it’s a date until he Gets There and realizes it is.

Idia, Cater, Viz are a polycule, but Viz dates Ace as well

Jade and Trey are a thing

Deuce and Epel, maybe?

Vil and Leona

Who knows

Not me

The rest is still being workshopped

I'll elaborate on ships later

And character aesthetics bc Vil and Viz being the resident Goths are soooo important to me.

Anyways

Uh

Ye

Taglist:

@fluffle-writes @my-cursed-brain

Lmk if you wanna be added ^^

[whereserpentswalk]

There was, in the days of generations now passed into the gates of hades, a spirit that guarded a road. He was a kind spirit; he had been in the place for as long as anyone can remember. They say he looked like a tall man in shining green armor, with the wings and arms of a mantis. Nobody ever saw the face below his helmet. He was a kind spirit in those days, a protector of the travelers and the wanders. Those lost in the night he would show the way. He would walk with those who needed protection. The shops on the side of the road would put out warm milk and meat pies for him, and he would award them with money and customers. And any church that preached that he was an unclean thing would find themselves restored by termites and rats without his dear protection.

They say one day, as he walked alongside a young woman as she made her way home through a cold winter's night, a man came up to her and tried to take her away at the point of a knife. The spirit was enraged, and melted the attacker's eyes from his skull, and closed the holes in his face under his body died from lack of air. It was a brutal fate, though a fair one for a soul who would have done worse to one more innocent. And from that day forth the spirit spoke that anyone who walked along that road would be protected by the spirit's magic, and anyone or anything, human or beast, spirit or cryptid, who tried to bring those who walked his road to harm, would suffer a horrifying fate.

Though the people were protected, the road changed. First slowly. Automobiles began to appear, fueled by the fossils of the dead, and soon stoplights to tell when people were permitted to walk. Soon what was once the edges of the road was sidewalk. The road was paved again and again. And soon there weren't trains and weren't trollies. And store after store closed down, for new stores to be opened, giant boxes owned by corporations, with massive parking lots outside of them, that would never think to leave out milk and meat pies. And then one day there was no stoplight, and no sidewalk, because any place where human feet could be permitted to walk had been removed. They called the road a highway than, and the humans' leaders were proud of it. It was too noisy for even the wyverns to fly over, and too barren for even werewolves to hunt. But the spirit was still there.

And then the spirit took up a new banner. When the last safe place to walk was gone, and the first human was struck and killed trying to cross the highway, he had dropped the banner of the seelie court and taken up unseelie way. Not out of vengeance but out of duty.

All who seek to harm those who wish the walk the road are caused by his law, and those new powerful machines called automobiles are no different. Cars that drive through the great spirit's road find themselves crashing into each other, or spinning randomly and flying around the road, or breaking down and never moving around. Mechanics can't figure out why, can't explain why there are always flies and worms and snakes and scorpions in every car that passes through that road. Even the drivers aren't safe, nobody who would drive such a lethal machine through the spirit's road is safe, they find their bodies bleeding, and skin dashed with cuts as if from an insect's claws, and minds filled with eldritch madness. And they say there are many cars that seem to lose their drivers, with only bugs or toads in their place.

Some still see the spirit's body in the dark of the night. He's changed now, his armor has turned night black, and its shape twisted from what looked like a knight's suit, to an insect's strange shell, his once slender body stretched to an inhumanly elongated and spindly build. His claws are now like great blades, and where his face was once only in shadows, now two glowing eyes can be seen from below his helm, like a dark pervasion of headlights. But he is still the same creature he always was, this is only another side of the same being. And those animals and jaywalkers who cross the highway, will never be hit under his gaze, even if a thousand cars burst into flames to keep them safe.

[tenshi-agerasia]

ensemble stars characters as things i experienced on a cruise to mexico

i'm waiting for a flight that i'm ten hours early for so here's some rare 鬼畜 text content . incorrect quotes and imagined scenarios, long post under the cut

starting off with some incorrect quotes

rei: can you walk?

eichi: i think so, i'm much more energetic nowadays-

rei: no you're not. shiratori-kun, get him a wheelchair, we're skipping all the lines at the airport‎‎

‎-

eichi, getting physically patted down by tsa in a small dark room because his wheelchair couldn't go through the full-body scanner and it was too much physical effort to stand up: this is all sakuma-kun's fault

-

aira: tenshouin-senpai! you almost left your louis vuitton designer scarf at the security checkpoint! what if someone had stolen it?!

eichi: thank you, shiratori-kun! but it's fake

-

akatsuki in the elevator with a group of strangers

stranger, in a thick southern accent: so what're y'all up to t'night?

silence

souma stares straight ahead. he thinks the stranger isn't talking to them.

stranger, feeling slightly awkward: so, y'all stayin' in your room?

kuro: um... yeah

-

afterwards

keito: how did he know that our room doesn't have a window

kuro: ???

keito: ??? he said something about our stateroom not having a window like his

kuro: you mean when he asked if we were staying in our room?

-

hokuto: how much money have you spent at the arcade

makoto: uhhhh... i don't know, i'm not good at math

mao: how much did each of the figurine blind bags cost you

makoto: four plays is $4.50 and i get an average of 87 tickets at the piano game. the gachapon is 750 tickets each, and 750 / 87 = around 8.62 plays, and 8.62 x 4.50 / 4 = $9.6975

-

wataru: iiiiiit's..... showtiiiiiime....

yuta: can we leave

hinata: the waiters are dancing now, we can't just leave

one minute later

yuta: can we leave

hinata: i'd love to see you try to leave in this situation

three minutes later

yuta: can we leave

hinata: QUICK THEY STOPPED MAKE A RUN FOR IT

-

jun: i don't like my new haircut

jin, shaking his head knowingly: yeah you shouldn't have cut it on a cruise

jun: i lied. i love my new haircut it means the world to me

-

jun, still struggling to come to terms with his new haircut: now i kind of look like the scaramouche guy from genshin

hiyori: i was thinking more like edna from the incredibles

some people that i encountered!

kaoru as the guy that (successfully) invited one of the waitresses to dance

yuzuru as the sweet lady who asked me how to swipe her room card for the arcade because her son (tori) wanted to play a game

ritsu as my mom who spent most of the time sleeping

rinne as the tour guide that would add "rawr" to the end of his jokes

tsumugi as the poor woman who got stuck in a hammock and had to ask me for help

yuta as my brother who i forced to go on a rusty cable sliding thing you could only hold on to by hand, only for it to get stuck before it reached the middle

hinata as me who dragged the rope attached to the handle and tried to run (on sand) to pull yuta/my brother on the cable slide, only for him to fall (on sand)

rei as the people who watched and laughed

yuzuru as me playing the discord golf game with my friends on vc, only to get screwed over by the lag from cruise wifi

anzu as my friends who were still at home and took this chance to win by miles

makoto as my brother and i when we made one of the arcade machines run out of tickets to dispense three times

makoto as my brother who dominated the entire leaderboard of a piano game with his high scores

tomoya as my mom who was upset that she didn't get to see any flamingos up close

mao as the guest services guy who kept getting interrupted by phone calls that lasted less than 50 seconds

tsumugi as the worker who asked me "do you speak mandarin or chinese?"

adonis as my dad who would only eat meat because "it's more worth it that way"

hiyori as the hair stylist that gave me the scaramouche/edna haircut and kept calling me "madame" and insisted that i trust his vision (he was a lovely guy, i just wanted it more short :()

anzu as my aunts that were constantly trying to video call my mom on wechat, only for the call to disconnect because cruise wifi sucks

mayoi as the dinner waiter that jumpscared my mom on the lunch buffet line

midori as the buffet worker who kept sorting the lettuce leaves by size and color

rinne as the guy at the casino who told a worker he wanted to "have a gambling addiction responsibly"

tori and tsukasa as the little girls who tried to convince their mom to let them eat only cake for lunch

kaoru as the white guy who tried to engage in a conversation with me in the elevator but only made the situation more awkward

souma as the guy who got into an argument with someone (kaoru) over whether the fish he ate was bass or salmon (it was salmon with some bass)

shinobu as the boy who ran up and down the stairs yelling that he was looking for ducks (?)

wataru as the russian lady in charge of the dining room who would loudly whisper "iiiiiit's...... showtiiiiiiime" into a microphone every evening

tomoya as the waiter with a tired, dead inside expression who still had to dance for the russian lady's "showtime"

adonis as the guy that woke up at six in the morning to run laps around the deck for some unknown reason

wataru as the guy who posed for a picture like he was pinching the setting sun

hokuto as the guy taking the picture, but from an angle that made wataru look like he was pinching nothing and standing there stupidly

promo time ~ preorders for the niki's cookbook fanzine are open until march 12! i made some recipes for it, go check it out :)

[loveabledirtbag]

1.02 hands

the tense opening! and how the show expertly swaps the chaotic tension of the beef with the sterile tension of carmy’s restaurant in new york. but it amazes me how even on my millionth rewatch of the show, when joel mchale comes in i go “is that joel mchale? no. it can’t be”, why is jeff winger on the bear? and then he does such a scary good job.

the quick cut from the quiet horror of the new york restaurant to the chaos of the beef is beautifully done, and the fact that carmy is making a burrito is so random and fitting and odd. it just works. carmy has swapped out one shitshow for another, and this one is messier, lower quality, and there’s never a quiet moment. it’s just in your face, all the time, nonstop. but THAT is the place carmy has chosen to be. worth noting.

carmy throwing out the french laundry is his first mistake of the episode. he should know better, especially after specifically not doing it last episode, than to throw out his previous jobs and education to richie, tina, or ebra. “well, go fuck your french laundry. stupid fucking name”. “alright, then at noma-“ “oh, and fuck your noma, too”.

but the back and forth conversation of carmy having noma, and the french laundry on his resume, and richie having gone to devry where they’re “serious about success”, and then the ice cream machine breaks and richie is the one to go fix it (but also by grabbing a bunch of spoons and kitchen utensils, and decidedly NOT actual tools) is on point. and without a missed beat sweeps asks “you graduated?” and richie going “fuck no!” *chefs kiss*

but the class dynamic at play in that scene is gorgeous. because both paths have validity and value in the beef. the ice cream machine breaks and carmy can’t fix it with chef skills. but richie has the skills to fix (or at least he can finagle his way to fixing) the machine. it’s lovely.

the slowdown we see with carmy going outside to smoke, before he goes back to cleaning is nice. the first episode is so break-neck, nonstop intense that having this pause is nice. because it would be impossible to keep up with that pace, and even if it was possible, it wouldn’t be enjoyable to watch.

of course the peaceful and slow scene is followed up by carmy sleep-cooking and almost starting a fire in his apartment when he cooks frozen and wrapped food. it just reminds us that even when he’s away from the (chaotic and nonstop) kitchen, and we the audience get a small reprieve, the show reminds us that chaos can return at any moment.

also, in the scene of carmy at home, the quick meal of peanut butter sandwich, chips, and pop, when he works in a place of great food is so real. when i worked in food, after a long day when i’d come home and be absolutely starving, the last thing i would want to do would be make food for myself. ramen, or just a bunch of lunch meat was a regular meal of mine for YEARS.

i have a lot to say about the scene when sydney comes into carmy’s office to show him her multi-paged research project of ideas to help the bear. and i want to be careful and intentional about how i say this because i know the carmy and sydney debate and subsequent fierce support for each of them is strong and i don’t want to needlessly offend anyone.

BUT as someone who has been on both sides of that conversation, as a passionate employee who has a million ideas for how to fix all the problems of the place where i’m working, and as a manager/operator of a business who has a million things on their plate and can’t quite deal with a million more ideas flying at them (even if those ideas are good) i get it. i really get both sides. sydney is not *annoying* for bombarding carmy with this 30-something page packet of data and ideas. and carmy is not a dick for brushing it off and jumping into something else and leaving sydney in the lurch. sydney didn’t have tact with how and when she came to carmy, who is trying to deal with big picture problems, small picture problems, culture, systems, and a million other issues. sometimes as management you just can’t process anymore. but likewise, carmy could have done a better job of telling sydney that he needed time to process and couldn’t engage in that conversation in that moment. the real issue was a lack of communication, and a misunderstanding of how the other operates. which is something that i think is built upon in season two. i’ve seen so many people defend only carmy, or only sydney. but i think both have their faults in this scene.

you could also argue, however, that carmy as the person in charge with the privilege of ownership, should have done more with his power to communicate what he needed. he’s the example setter for the business and didn’t do a good job showcasing what he needed in the moment.

(also, peep the beginning of the season-long storyline arc: to-go orders and the battle of sleeping on making money from to-gos, and the struggle of figuring out how to manage starting a to-go program)

it’s odd that carmy leaves his office (and sydney) because richie calls out to him “yo, carm!” but then when carmy comes out to see what’s happening richie is the one who says “i can handle this myself cousin. i got this.” like…was that a continuity mistake on the editors/directors part? am i missing something? why draw attention to the issue, and then when the person who’s attention you drew gives you their attention you go, “i don’t want your attention”?

“ron’s gone. gone gone.” “ron’s dead!?” is so funny. i don’t understand people who argue this isn’t a comedy.

the actor who plays nancy chore, chicago board health inspector, is a chicago staple. and i always forget her name.

the biggest thing i have experienced in the service industry when it comes to health inspectors is that if you take richie’s attitude towards them: combative, mistrusting, aggravating; they’re going to suspect you have shit to hide. if you take carmy’s attitude: polite, welcoming, say something along the lines of “feel free to look around, ask me anything if you need me” they’re not going to be as suspicious. don’t fuck with health inspectors…they will fuck back.

ebra and tina taking a smoke break but ebra smoking a BIG ASS cigar, is ICONIC. plus the fact he doesn’t say anything as tina complains to him….we need more ebra. he deserves a spin off. he deserves a movie. i’m in love with ebra.

sydney going right back in with talking to carmy is kind of what i’m talking about. sydney isn’t reading the room and trying to be courteous of where carmy is at. they work in a shithole and a health inspector just came in. carmy probably needs to focus on that, and not on your 30-pages of ideas. however, while carmy is a little blunt, i think he does a decent job of telling sydney that what she’s giving him is a lot with everything else he’s dealing with. highlighted by the immediate shouting of richie…again.

is richie being the one to interrupt sydney and carmy’s conversations about fixing up the beef symbolic? maybe? idk. just a thought.

it’s amazing to me (and again, i know chicago is special and a world unto itself) that a restaurant can have a hole in the tile, with a former gas line next to the stovetops not properly dry-walled and caulked, but clogged with napkins, meaning cross contamination, no hot water in the hand station, AND a pack of cigarettes ontop of the stovetops by the burners and it ONLY results in a C grading? damn.

major props to sydney for getting in between carmy and richie as they get in each others face, ready to beat each other up. that’s some chicago badass behavior right there on her part and i think that’s the moment i fell in love with her.

“you cocked it up, you’re gonna caulk it out” is such an ingenious line and i wish i could have been in the writers room when they came up with that one. same with “surge rates, fucko!” the gold standard of lines.

sydney and richie in his car is just, once again, a chefs kiss of a scene. richie telling sydney she has to wiggle the gear shift, sydney asking richie to hold her purse while she gets ready to drive and him dutifully putting it at his feet. but there’s an automatic nature to how richie does it, that while it may have been ebon moss-bachrach just doing it, i really believe it was an acting choice to show that richie definitely had a wife, before we even see the phone call between him and his ex-wife.

the comment about the multiple arby’s cups being from different visits. god, i love it.

BUT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL detail is the song choice that starts up when the car starts: have you seen me lately, by the counting crows. but not just that, but the live acoustic version. this is a deep cut that ABSOLUTELY was not chosen randomly, but was chosen with precision simply because it’s a song you listen to only when in the depths of despair. richie driving to work and listening to that song is a sign of his internal torment like nothing else we see this season.

richie calling carmy “carmine” is odd. since we know carmy is short for carmen. everyone always says carmen. this is the one instance we hear carmine. is carmen short for carmine, and i’m not aware of it? was it a character choice to say carmine in this instance? was it a mistake that was left in? i wanna know.

gotta respect sydney (for a multitude of reasons, as i’ve said and as i’ll continue to say) that while richie is ranting about how angry he is at carmy, and how stupid carmy is, she says “what does that have to do with what we’re doing? we’re trying to fix the wall. which you fucked up before carmy was even at the restaurant.” like trying to use some therapy 101 of “hmmm…what you’re saying has nothing to do with what’s happening. so, you probably have some deeper issues at play here that you should probably address and work through on your own time.”

ope, uncle jimmy cicero coming in hot with a plot twist of mikey owing jimmy 300 grand. but also, the quick comment of jimmy saying that mikey was “an animal”, which comes into play in season two. a lot of thought went into this show, and you can tell with just every second while watching it.

“i should have stopped by to break your legs”…i would just love to know more about uncle jimmy. i mean obviously he is a prime example of “less is more” with storytelling. we know he’s rich, we know he’s older but has a younger wife and kid (who we’ll meet later), and we also know he makes comments and has conversations around giving people jobs under the table. we can fill in the blanks that he has mob connections, or a criminal network, or something along those lines but we never know exactly what it is upfront. we also don’t know what his day job is. and while i always want more, i love that we’re allowed to just sort of wonder. plus, don’t we all have that relative that we grow up and learn more about and go “ohhhhh. that’s suspicious.”

sydney also trying to come in hot with throwing out some of carmy’s accomplishments to richie, who without surprise still doesn’t give a shit. class struggle right here.

ok. so. the phone call richie gets in the car. this is a master class of storytelling. from the writing to the acting, to the way it was shot. we see richie, being driven around to fix a mistake he made out of his own incompetence. he’s being talked down to by people with skill and talent, of which he seemingly has none. he’s being so obstinate and thick and grating on the audience. and then he gets this call and he picks it up and we see his dirt-caked fingernails, and the distinct shine of his golden wedding ring still on his finger. and we see his pain, and his frustration as he talks to his ex-wife, with these absolutely open and innocent and brilliant blue eyes that softens the hard edges we’ve come to know from him. and then we see that softness actually come out as he talks to his daughter with this mix of pain and heartbreak as it’s so clear she’s his favorite thing in the world, but she asks him if he really loves her. you suddenly know exactly what he’s dealing with outside the restaurant; an ex-wife who is poisoning his daughter against him, even though he clearly isn’t the best example of a stable father and you think his ex probably has a point, and that eats him up because he so clearly wants to be a good dad. and in season two we see how much he wanted to be a good dad. but we’ve also seen so many examples of how he’s not the best example for his daughter. and that all of this happens with sydney right next to him (the worst person in the world to be right next to him). plus he caps it off by saying he fucked up by getting the wrong caulk, AND messed up by leaving his cigarettes on the burner! more on that later. but all of it absolutely makes your heart ACHE for richie, and if it doesn’t you’re a monster. it’s because of the time and care for scenes like this with richie that there is a whole subsection of people who are OBSESSED with richie and love him. despite him being sexist and homophobic.

also, richie calling his 5 year old daughters classmates a bunch of “fuck faces” is an example of ruthless and honest parenting that i am coming to understand more and more each day since my son was born. other kids ARE fuck faces, but my kid is fucking incredible.

i love that we see carmy reading syd’s packet. because it shows he does want to read it. he wasn’t dismissing her for his own egotistical desire to fix everything himself. he truly needed to wait for a moment when he could process everything she was saying, and that moment wasn’t the moment sydney came into his office to talk to him unannounced, but it was later on in the day

oh, pete. i feel like every family has a pete. that person who you know treats your family member well, and loves them, and you know they’re basically a good person…but they just don’t click with the vibe of your family. they’re a little bit too square. they’re off. it’s just too easy to make fun of them. it’s so painfully funny, and honest, and UGH the short conversation between pete and carmy on the phone. pete’s doing nothing wrong and you just wanna be like “pete….shhhhhhhhh.”

it does take real acting skill to have a scene where carmy says “i wanted to apologize for last time…” and pete says “no problem! i went to urgent care and they gave me some stuff to put on it.” and without even knowing the specifics or the context you’re left going “yeah, but pete probably deserved it?” pete is that good at being a loveable schmuck.

carmy admitting to natalie that he sleep walked and almost set fire to his apartment is so good at showing that nat has gone to therapy. and that carmy desperately needs to go as well.

nata saying “shut the fuck up” to carmy, and then pete from another room saying “you want me to shut the fuck up?” to which nat responds “not you, sweetie. you didn’t say anything.” is SO GOOD

“i was throwing up everyday before work” “oh. well that sounds chill” “i kinda dug it.” - a low key theme shown throughout the first season that carmy has an unhealthy attachment to his own pain and suffering (more on that as it happens in the show)

the way that the bear could have been just another show of any infinite number of shows about a fucked up protagonist who’s driving narrative could be resolved if the main character just went to therapy, but never does, because instead the bear says “yeah! carmy needs therapy!” this show is so pro therapy, and i’m excited for more of it as the show progresses in future seasons!

AHHHH richie found a note! addressed to carmy! from mikey! i forget that this episode really sets up the rest of the season! the first episode introduces us to the show, but this episode introduces us to the seasons! there are so many points that we’ll keep coming back to as the show progresses.

also, ebon moss-bachrach committing to, and executing near perfectly, the thick inside chicago accent (as illustrated by his “yeah yeah yeah, i’ll be right dere”) is perfect. i know some people say his accent is borderline offensive as a stereotype, like the accents used in fargo was for minnesotans. but much like the accents from fargo, while not everyone in illinois has richie’s accent, SOME people do. and his use of it is 🤌🤌🤌.

so sydney is on the line, calling out orders as ebra repeats the orders back to her while calling her “chef”. this shows that ebra is now getting on board with the new system, as opposed to mikey’s old system. i only wish we would have seen the transition of ebra accepting this new system. or maybe the point is that ebra is go-with-the-flow enough that as long as he gets to work with his beef, he’s happy.

BUT sydney at the front calling out orders is something we see started in the next episode, where carmy has formally implemented a french brigade system in the kitchen and placed sydney as his sou chef. so why is sydney already acting as his sou in this scene? was this scene shot and intended for a future episode and was cut and moved to fill a hole in this episode? once again, am i missing something? it seems like sydney is doing the thing she’s promoted to do in the next episode, in this episode. except that in the same scene carmy says “thank you for taking richie today”, which could only be talking about sydney taking richie to get caulk right?

richie and carmy talking about how jimmy is getting the health department to come back, despite the health inspector saying she can’t legally come back for 30 days, and just chalking it up to jimmy being jimmy. *another chefs kiss*. i want to know more about jimmy but his beauty is his mystery.

it’s really good storytelling that richie sees the cigarettes on the burner and assumes they’re his. and that everyone assumes they’re his. even though richie, carmy, and tina smoke cigarettes. but it can’t be carmy because he’s the professional, young, hot shot, classical and fine dining trained chef. on top of that, we have this whole episode where you could get the vibe that maybe carmy is ignoring sydney’s suggestions because carmy wants to do it himself, he wants to save the restaurant himself. but then we have a scene where carmy is looking at syd’s packet, before nat tells carm that he might need help, and then carmy hires sydney officially at the restaurant, subtly telling her he’s going to implement some of her ideas. because he said he couldn’t afford to hire her for real, but now he can. carmy is admitting to sydney that he needs her help. and right as he admits to us the audience that he needs help, we realize that it was him who left his cigarette on the burner. he was busy cleaning the restaurant by himself, trying to save and care for it by himself, and he absentmindedly put them on the burner and kept on cleaning. so now we, the audience, really know: carmy, most definitely, needs help. because his talent, his skill, his training, and his schooling aren’t enough to save this restaurant. he needs syd’s passion, and he needs richie hobbling things together cheaply. he can’t do it alone.

and realizing that he really, really needs help leads him to look at nat’s text again: where she’s sent him a link to al-anon. the closest thing to therapy he’s gonna get this season.

Season One: Episode 1 | Episode 3 | Episode 4 | Episode 5 | Episode 6 | Episode 7 | Episode 8