#Holly Whitaker

[coochiequeens]

This is one of the reasons I hate it when people tell women to have a drink when they just want to talk or even just vent

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/01/19/quit-lit-women-drinking-addiction/

In “Quit Like a Woman,” author Holly Whitaker says, “At some point, it made sense to carry airline shots in my purse — just in case. Sometimes (especially when working on a deadline) I holed up in my apartment for days on end, drinking from morning until I passed out.”

Catherine Gray wrote in “The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober” that “Life was too sharp, too painful, too real and too loud when I was sober. Drinking softened the edges and blurred the clarity.”

A third writer, Annie Grace, said in “This Naked Mind” that “Giving up drinking felt like an incredible sacrifice, like the loss of a close friend.”

Welcome to the world of Quit Lit — a new genre of story telling aimed at helping women to drink less alcohol. I learned about these books from my patients — the ones who were starting to become concerned about the amount they drank — even before the pandemic. They are numerous enough to acquire the quippy category label Quit Lit, and have resonated with women who are recognizing that alcohol is not their friend.

The numbers on drinking tell an alarming story. From 2000 to 2016, an increasing number of women were drinking moderately and binge drinking, while rates among men remained flat. What’s more, from 2006 to 2014, there was a 70 percent increase in yearly alcohol-related emergency department visits for women, compared with an increase of 58 percent for men.

In 2020, college women were somewhat more likely than their male peers to report being drunk in the past month, according to Monitoring the Future, a survey conducted by the University of Michigan.

“Over the past 50 years, the gap between men and women’s alcohol use has been narrowing on every metric,” said George Koob, director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).

Recent data is more promising — in 2019, 6 percent of women were classified as heavy drinkers, similar to 5.8 percent in 2021, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Quit Lit gave my patients and me an easy way to talk about dependence and addiction. Several of these memoir-cum-motivational guides are bestsellers, including “This Naked Mind,” “The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober” and “Quit Like a Woman.” These confessionals about alcohol dependence share a common theme: explaining in vivid detail the author’s battle with the bottle, and the ways in which society has duped us into thinking that alcohol is a cool way to deal with life’s ups and downs, rather than a toxic substance with addictive properties, which increases anxiety and depressive symptoms over time.

The Quit Lit warnings are important. A hard-hitting article in the Lancetstated: “Our results show that the safest level of drinking is none.” Alcohol may not be beneficial for anyone, but it’s especially toxic for women. Women have less body water than men or similar weight, and so reach higher blood alcohol levels after drinking similar amounts. Koob says that over time, “it takes less alcohol for women to suffer from alcohol induced liver inflammation, cardiovascular disease, memory blackouts, hangovers, and certain cancers, than men.” And when it comes to breast cancer, there is no safe amount of consumption. “Epidemiologic studies have consistently found an increased risk of breast cancer with increasing alcohol intake,” according to the National Cancer Institute’s website.

Studies indicate that women tend to drink to reduce anxiety, depression and other mood states, while men tend to drink to increase positive feelings, said Sherry McKee, a professor of psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine, who has been studying gender differences in addiction for 25 years. “The pandemic clearly showed us the relationship between stress and drinking,” she said. “Women were experiencing greater distress, and that corresponded to increased drinking.”

Giving up drinking, especially when it is an addiction, is tough. The problem with many options for sobriety are that they are not enticing, Whitaker said. When she realized a decade ago that she needed to stop drinking, the only options she knew of were Alcoholics Anonymous and rehab — and neither appealed to her. She couldn’t afford to take time off work for rehab and the message of AA was not for her. Sobriety has to feel like a win, Whitaker said. “My sobriety came from wanting to be sober more than wanting the drug,” she said.

I listened to the audio version of “This Naked Mind” in December. In chapter after chapter, Grace dispels myths about alcohol — that you need it to be more confident, social, and fun; that it tastes great; that it helps us fit in — so we are no longer driven to drink by faulty assumptions. The book helped me to abstain during a few holiday gatherings. I found them to be just as fun without the buzz of a bourbon Manhattan. Plus, no headaches the next day or fuzzy recall of dinner discussions.

In early January, I read Allen Carr’s “Quit Drinking Without Willpower” in two quick sittings and resolved to have a Dry January. This would not qualify as Quit Lit because it is not a confessional but it’s the book Whitaker used to get sober. The message is simple: Once you understand your unhealthy relationship with alcohol, you’ll want to stop. It won’t require willpower because your mind will be made up.

After spending some time with Quit Lit, I understood the appeal. There’s probably a reason that only 7.7 percent of people with serious drinking problems seek help — it can be humiliating to label yourself as an alcoholic. When a witty, wise woman is telling you about her journey, it seems like one you want to be on.

If you’re concerned about the amount you drink, there are plenty of resources. Consult your doctor before making any drastic changes. If you’ve been drinking heavily for years, you may need to detox slowly and under supervision.

Educate yourself. The NIAAA’s Rethinking Drinking offers a wealth of information including how to tell when your drinking is problematic, how to taper off and whether to cut back or quit. It explains what alcohol use disorder is and when you should be concerned.

Learn about treatment options. There are now many paths to sobriety, including medication, therapy, outpatient programs, residential treatment and support groups. Your doctor can help you determine the best course.

Read Quit Lit. It is an easy way to gain a new perspective on what’s going on in your mind and body when you drink and to feel less alone on your journey.

Join a community. One of the benefits of Alcoholics Anonymous is that you become part of a tribe of people with similar struggles. If its message does not resonate, consider Women for Sobriety, or Smart Recovery.

Say out loud that you want to change your relationship with alcohol. Even mild drinkers tend to lie to themselves about their dependency. Tell yourself, then a trusted friend, then your doctor.

If you’ve had success quitting or cutting back, share your strategies in the comments section.

Lesley Alderman is a psychotherapist based in Brooklyn.

[lungfuls]

"According to Flinders, all religious and spiritual traditions and specifically meditative practices—because they were built by men and for men—promote the following: self-silencing; self-naughting (destruction of the ego); resisting desire; and enclosure (turning inward, sealing off from the world). As a feminist, naming these four requirements of transcendence troubled her. 'I realized that however ancient and universal these disciplines may be, they are not gender neutral at all. Formulated for the most part within monastic contexts, they cancel the basic freedoms—to say what one wants, go where one likes, enjoy whatever pleasures one can afford, and most of all, to be somebody—that have normally defined male privilege.'

What she is saying is that the underlying precepts of a spiritual path—in every lineage from which there is a path—seek to define a degree of spiritual freedom through reversal of status. And who has had that status in societies all over the world for the last few thousand years? Men. 'Women, on the other hand,' she wrote, 'have not been in a position to renounce these privileges voluntarily because they have never had them in the first place.' In fact, 'they are terms of our subordination.'

[...]

The opposite of these precepts, as argued by Flinders, is to (1) 'find your voice; tell your story, make yourself heard'; (2) 'know who you are. Establish your authentic identity or selfhood. Identify your needs and learn how to meet them'; (3) 'reclaim your body, and its desires, from all who would objectify and demean it, whether it's the fashion industry, pornographers, or even the medical establishment. Recognize the hatred of the female body that pervades contemporary culture, and oppose it'; and (4) 'move about freely and fearlessly. Take back the streets. Take back the night and the day.'"

—Holly Whitaker, from Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol

[isha-motivation]

Top 11 Points -What Is The Book Quit Like A Woman About?

Top 11 Points -What Is The Book Quit Like A Woman About?

Quit Like a Woman is a memoir by Holly Whitaker, a woman who struggled with addiction and alcoholism before ultimately finding sobriety and a new way of life.

The book details Whitaker's journey through addiction and recovery, including her experiences with traditional rehab programs and the challenges she faced in trying to quit drinking.

Read more

What Are The Book Club Questions For Quit Like A Woman?

What are the main themes of the book, and how do they relate to the author's personal experiences?

How does the author's approach to quitting smoking differ from traditional methods, and why does she believe it is more effective?

How does the author use her own experiences to illustrate the impact of societal expectations on women's lives?

Read more

Top 12 Points - What Is The Great Obsession Of Every Alcoholic?

Obtaining and consuming alcohol.

Denying or minimizing the severity of their alcohol use.

Lying or hiding their alcohol consumption from others.

Read more

[nyssasorbit]

~ Her Nutcracker has arrived ~

[linnielinnielinnie]

100 random songs i quite like

time lapse lifeline - maria taylor

rewind - goldspot

two weeks - grizzly bear

don't call me whitney bobby - islands

fountain - sara lov

you on my arm - leith ross

simple song - the shins

it's only time - the magnetic fields

insomniac - memo boy

forest whitaker - bad books

when the devil's loose - aa bondy

are you ok - wasuremono

hey beautiful - the solids

heaven - the walkmen

what's in the middle - the bird and the bee

if the hudson overflows - goldspot

soft shock - yeah yeah yeahs

anchor - mindy gledhill

there she goes - the la's

sunday - the cranberries

limang dipang tao - barbie's cradle

dancing in the moonlight - toploader

landslide - liam titcomb

ho hey - the lumineers

in the bosom - sweet after tears

from the ground up - sleeping at last

moral panic - y la bamba

break the rules - ruen brothers

it never stops - bad books

rebirth - vancouver sleep clinic

the gilded hand - radical face

the longest time - billy joel

call off the hunt - lowpines

lost here - fauntella crow

half light - fossil collective

tongues and teeth - the crane wives

monument - fossil collective

promised land - the milk carton kids

the fold - ivan and alyosha

freight train - sara jackson holman

broken brights - angus stone

when the morning comes - jon allen

just like heaven - the cure

harness your hopes - pavement

1983 - neon trees

close your eyes - split screens

trouble - cage the elephant

paul - big thief

overjoyed - matchbox twenty

melancholy astronautic man - allie moss

heaven knows (this angel has flown) - orange and lemons

from eden - hozier

figure me out - the cocanuts

i wake up - the glorious

july bones - richard walters

what am i - lola marsh

put it together - langhorne slim

into the mystic - van morrison

time - angelo de augustine

therese - maya hawke

pyotr - bad books

petite mort - bad books

no sides - bad books

no reward - bad books

friendly advice - bad books

ambivalent peaks - bad books

42 - bad books

lost creek - bad books

the after party - bad books

buddy holly - weezer

boys don't cry - the cure

tears over beers - modern baseball

evergreen - richy mitch & the coal miners

it's okay to think about ending - earlimart

out of the blue - john lennon

almost home - moby

baba o riley - pete townshend

street lights - the cocanuts

the afer you - miakoda

cool about it - boygenius

germany and rome - the ridleys

everybody wants to love you - japanese breakfast

handclap - fitz and the tantrums

two wuv - tally hall

my heart is buried in venice - ricky montgomery

snow - ricky montgomery

cabo - ricky montgomery

explode! - mother mother

sweet talk - saint motel

still feel - half alive

loretta - ginger roots

do it all the time - idkhbtfm

odoriko - vaundy

unti-unti - up dharma down

flowers - the red pears

after hours - the velvet underground

tim i wish you were born a girl - of montreal

this december - ricky montgomery

i'll be your mirror - the velvet underground

savage good boy - japanese breakfast

[cantikdaae]

I am always very invested in the new Phantom ensemble and who is going to play which ensemble part, and who they’ll be covering. As they never announce it beforehand.

Below I have a list of all the roles that are confirmed by the actors themselves or based on which part they play at the moment.

Hairdresser: Michael Colbourne (1st cover Raoul/2nd cover Phantom)

Wardrobe Mistress: Melanie Gowie (2nd cover Madame Giry)

Don Attillio: Hywel Dowsell (2nd cover Piangi/Andre)

Wild Woman: Frederica Basile (2nd cover Carlotta)

Auctioneer: James Gant (1st cover Phantom)

Madame Firmin: Victoria Ward (1st cover Madame Giry)

Monsieur Reyer: Samuel Haughton (1st cover Andre)

Monsieur Lefevre: Tim Morgan (1st cover Firmin)

Buquet: Leonard Cook (2nd cover Firmin)

Princess: Eve Shanu-Wilson (1st cover Christine)

Confidante: Zoë Soleil Vallée

Page: Colleen Rose Curran (2nd cover Christine)

Marksman: Ralph Watts (2nd cover Raoul)

Porter: Simon Whitaker (1st cover Piangi)

ballet: Serina Faull (2nd cover Meg Giry)

ballet: Florence Fowler

ballet: Eilish Harmon-Beglan

ballet: Yukina Hasebe

ballet: Grace Hume (1st cover Meg Giry)

ballet: Jasmine Wallis

ballet swing: Corina Clark

dancer: Thomas Holdsworth

dancer: Jacob Hughes

swing: Hollie Aires

swing: Lily De-La-Haye (1st cover Carlotta)

swing: Connor Ewing (3rd cover Phantom)

swing: Tim Southgate

swing: Andrew York

[infraredsouls]

Black Country, New Road at Bush Hall, photos by Holly Whitaker

[gtunesmiff]

We are always, forever doing the things we imagine in our hearts. We have always started long before we even realized we started. ...If you are feeling like you aren't doing it, or like you're waiting for the real work to begin, please remember in this moment, you are doing it. There is no other way through to it then the way you have gone, are going…

~ Holly Whitaker || You are doing it. This is the It.: Thoughts on the secret work being done in us

[sparklyslug]

Related to the last post, just thinking about how any time someone has come to me for advice about not drinking, I tend to offer the kind of thing that that sounds deeply unhelpful in words but was actually helpful to me in practice: don’t think about it, and find ways to distract yourself from thinking about it.

Like, find things to do with your hands and your brain to detour those thoughts. Get involved in a favorite tea or soda or something, make sure you’ve got it in your hands whenever (ideally before even) you would otherwise be reaching for a glass of something harder. Learn how best to kick your brain off track when it goes HEY BUT I WANT THAT. Everyone’s got their own road and what works for them but babyyyyyy distraction is the ultimate tool in my tool belt when it came to/comes to sobriety.

(The flip side of that is like how my grandma used gummy bears to kick her smoking habit, which worked, but she then had to reckon with her dependence on gummy bears and THOSE health issues. But sometimes you’ve got to use the lesser evil to kick the greater evil the fuck outta here, and then once it’s good and gone you can be like “okay shit now I use distraction to cope with a lot of things how do we address this.”

Holly Whitaker in “Quit Like a Woman” (UGHHH THE TITLE IS SO GENDERED IT MAKES ME NUTS BUT IT REALLY REALLY IS MY SOBRIETY BIBLE) talks about how unhealthy drinking habits can go hand in hand with unhealthy habits related to food, money, etc. and once you take care of the big bad THEN you can start to take a look at the food and money issues. These are also on my to do list but like again, ONE BIG BAD PER SEASON OKAY let’s not load down the narrative here.)

TL;DR just don’t think about it/just don’t care about it sounds like bullshit advice, but it really fucking works if you can just build habits that help you not think about it/care about it

[leanstooneside]

Massachusetts (STEELWINTER)

• DR. DRE'S CHARCOAL KNEE

• EVAN RACHEL WOOD'S LEES KNEE

• SOPHIA BUSH'S CHEWY KNEE

• DEMI MOORE'S OPULENT KNEE

• SEAN COMBS'S OAKY KNEE

• MICHAEL BUBLÉ'S LEGGY KNEE

• HOLLY MONTAG'S ROUND KNEE

• JADEN SMITH'S LEGGY KNEE

• ANNALYNNE MCCORD'S FRESH KNEE

• CAMILA ALVES'S JUICY KNEE

• JENNA USHKOWITZ'S HEAVY KNEE

• FOREST WHITAKER'S BRIGHT KNEE

[chasenews]

O. share new single “Micro”

Credit: Holly Whitaker Today, O. – the London-based duo of baritone saxophonist Joe Henwood and drummer Tash Keary – have shared a muscular new single titled “Micro”. The track is taken from their highly anticipated debut album “WeirdOs”, which was announced earlier this year and is due out 21st June via Speedy Wunderground. Honing their fearless sound through a residency at Brixton’s iconic…

[boozemusingsandboom]

Becoming My Future Self - the Discovery in Recovery

Let's take the vision of "how we would LIKE to be" away from our Inner Critic, who only uses it to berate and discourage, and turn it into a Future Self that doesn't threaten or taunt us but rather guides, motivates, and inspires us. #soberinspiration #Be

“No matter how old you are, you can create an incredible life ahead of you by living from your future, imagination, possibility, and inspiration.”  –Brooke Castillo Future Self: Cracking the Transformation Code One of the first things Holly Whitaker did in Hip Sobriety School (now Tempest) was to take us on a guided meditation where we visualized our Future Self in exactly one year. The details…

[wholesomeobsessive]

Books of 2021

Frozen in Time by Mitchell Zuckoff

The Perfect King by Ian Mortimer

Elizabeth: The Forgotten Years by John Guy

Bad Blood by John Carreyrou

Henry VIII by John Guy

My Heart Is My Own by John Guy

A History of Britain: Volume 1 by Simon Schama

Commonwealth by Ann Patchett

The End of Gender by Debra Soh

Charles I by Mark Kishlansky

The Van Apfel Girls Are Gone by Felicity McClean

The Lantern Men by Elly Griffiths

The Night Hawks by Elly Griffiths

Molly's Game by Molly Bloom

How Mumbo Jumbo Conquered the World by Francis Wheen

Fly on the Wall by E Lockhart

Trans by Helen Joyce

A History of Britain: Volume 2 by Simon Schama

The Status Game by Will Storr

Quirkology by Richard Wiseman

Frankenstein (play version) by Mary Shelley and Philip Pullman

Quit Like A woman by Holly Whitaker

At Home by Bill Byrson

Disunited Kingdom by Iain Macwhirter

The Coming of Neo Feudalism by Joel Kotkin

[faezrblazr]

Some bibliomancy today. It's what I'm doing now in Alcoholics Anonymous. From "Quit Like A Woman" by Holly Whitaker.

I volunteered for a recovery event. Ended up playing and teaching a bunch of little kids. The only one who did. And I'm a massive man with a great big handlebar mustache. One of the Alanon women shared later how getting in touch with her inner child, at whatever age, could help her sobriety.

It was all good. It was great after all. And perhaps I can be the strange, whipsmart, woman man leavening in this stagnant situation. Just naturally. By being myself.

[nellieblake]

Eaves Wilder photographed by Holly Whitaker