#His hat was taking me a lot of time with adjustments and I am gonna do it again 🥲

[shinmiyovvi]

Wip of my new oc

[vinvantae]

Could you write the f1 grid reactions to their girlfriend enjoying privacy and not wanting to be in the spotlight at gps? Like for example choosing to go to the regular audience instead of the garage to watch races etc to avoid excessive cameras? If you don't want to do all could you do either Charles, Lewis, or Lando?

I won’t do all the drivers because I think there’s only so many reactions but I will do the three you’ve requested 🥰 sorry for the delay I’ve had a lot of stuff on recently!

***

Charles

Charles watched from across the room as you pulled your Ferrari cap over your head, adjusting it so you could slip your sunglasses on and off with ease. The two of you had been together for nearly two years now, but you had still never set foot inside the paddock - and whilst he understood your reasons, the selfish part of him really wanted you there this weekend. He was starting his home race from P1 and he was positive he had a real shot this year.

He cautiously stepped towards you, taking your hips in his hands so he could press a soft kiss to your shoulder.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to join me in the garage, mon ange?” He hummed, resting his cheek against yours as you met his eyes in the mirror.

“Mhmm, I quite like being surrounded by your adoring fans.” You giggled, tilting your head so he could press kisses to your neck. “The roars of Monegasque feel all the more thrilling when you’re a part of it. Their home hero starting on pole? No way I’m missing out on that.”

Charles let you turn in his arms, your arms coming up to loop around his neck - you couldn’t help but smile at the fond look in his eyes as he looked at you. He really wished you were going to be at the barriers, so he could wrap you up in his arms when he finally won, but he knew all the cameras in your face would be too much for you.

“I’ll always respect your decision to enjoy the race from the grandstands, as long as you know if you ever change your mind, there’s a special spot in the back of my garage just for you.” His voice was soft as he nudged his nose against yours. “If they get too rowdy-”

“Charles, I’ll be okay… now, go win for me.”

Lewis

Being a 7 time world champion definitely came with its privileges - but privacy was not one of them. So keeping his relationship close to his chest was not only important to him but to you. You loved him more than words could ever describe, but the idea of walking through all of the press holding his hand was still daunting to you - so you preferred to support him nestled away in the crowds. In your 5 years together, somehow, you’d never been “exposed”, so blending in was easy.

Lewis was by no means ashamed of you, in fact, he was filled with nothing but pride when he spoke of you - but being able to keep his personal life private, out of the grasps of the greedy, was important to him as well. He spent his days with every movement, every word being picked apart by the media and he wanted to be able to protect you from it all.

“You could at least wear my merch, babe.” He laughed softly, as you emerged from the bathroom, donned in another team’s merchandise, holding his hands out for you to take. “How am I gonna do well knowing you’re in the crowd wearing that?”

You scoffed playfully, taking his hands, looking down at him from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “I am wearing something for you… just for your eyes though.”

He quirked a brow, removing his hands from yours to hook his fingers into your waistband, pulling it away just enough to see his trademark colour against your skin hidden underneath. A groan left his lips and he lent his forehead against your middle.

“So…” you purred. “You gonna race well knowing what your prize is?”

“Fuck yes.”

Lando

Neon yellow was not your colour. When Lando first showed it to you, you weren’t sure it was anyone’s colour, but as you strolled through Silverstone - it seemed that it was everyone’s. You smiled softly to yourself as you adjusted your own hat, sidling up the grandstands to find your seat - nestled in between a group of Lando’s fans, who very quickly pulled you into the fray once they realised you were alone.

You’d ended up getting a seat at Luffield corner, not expecting your boyfriend’s car during the parade to pull up to be interviewed by Natalie. There was no way he’d ever know you were here - you told him you couldn’t make it, but in reality you wanted to enjoy it from the crowds.

The giggles that escaped you as his t-shirt cannon failed dramatically, made your heart swell. He’d come so far in the years you’d known him and to see him so adored was really special. You fished your phone out of your pocket when it buzzed, his name lighting up your screen, just moments before you knew he had to get into the car.

Miss u x

You smiled softly, turning as you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder. The girl smiled gently albeit a little awkwardly at you. “Hi, sorry, you’re y/n, Lando’s girlfriend, right?”

“That’s me.” You chuckled.

“How come you’re out here instead of in there?” She asked, her voice laced with curiosity, not judgement.

You turned a little in your chair to face her better. “Wanted to enjoy the race from the grandstands, I’ve always loved the atmosphere and just because I’m dating him I didn’t want to stop.”

She gave you a knowing nod. “That’s absolutely fair. Well, when you see him, can you tell him I said hi?”

“Hey, how about we all send him a good luck selfie? He’s probably not got his phone anymore but he’ll see it after the race.” You beamed.

Everyone crowded around you and you took a photo - their smiles practically lighting up the screen. You knew Lando would love it, so you sent it back.

We’re all rooting for you <3 You’ve got this!x

Lando was a little disappointed not to win the race, especially at home - he’d managed to hang on to the lead just for a little while, but it just wasn’t enough. All he wanted was to wrap himself up in your arms and feel sorry for himself for not being able to hold onto the lead, but you weren’t here. When he finally got a moment of peace, he checked his phone - eyes widening at the selfie.

You were here, nestled amongst the floods of neon - your smile somehow brighter. He tapped on your name to call you, tapping his foot against the floor - biting at the skin around his fingernails.

“Hi Lando.” Your voice sounded like a dream.

“How come you didn’t tell me you were here.” He knew he sounded whiny but he didn’t care, he needed you with him ASAP. “Could’ve watched from the garage… given me a good luck kiss.”

“Well, looks like you didn’t need it. You raced amazingly today, baby, I’m so proud of you… maybe I’ll meet you back at your hotel, show you how proud I am?”

Lando couldn’t help but jut his bottom lip out a little. “Sure I can’t tempt you to come to the garage?”

“I’m sure. Too flashy for me. I love you, see you in a little while.”

“I love you too. Bye babe.” He smiled to himself, hanging up the phone - holding it to his chest.

As much as he’d wished you were in the garage, he loved the part of you that wanted to enjoy races from the grandstands - experience the race how you wanted, not just using your relationship to waltz around the paddock.

Now… he just had to find the quickest way back to the hotel.

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 16. YAP CENTRAL EP.136: did social media ruin relationships?

WARNiNGS » profanity, mentions of d wording, sexual jokes, crying, ynhoon teasing, yn never being safe

wc: 3.1k

episode desc - enjoy your stay today in yap central! as we’ve done the whole cycle, todays episode is a deeper one! we open up with a positive impact we’ve seen on each other. then we go right in with how our presence on social media has affected our relationships. following that up we keep the theme of the deeper episode and go over the influence social media has on us and how we view ourselves. we end the episode off by saying one thing we’ve noticed about one another as we’ve grown and how we think it affects the friendship. the episode ends off on a bittersweet note but we hope you enjoyed your stay today in yap central!

*the 6 of you are seated in your assigned seats. jungwon adjusts the soundboard and riki tests the mic out, then giving him a thumbs up. sunoo sets his mic up a little closer to pick up his audio and looks to the camera, setting his phone down*

sunoo: it’s been so long since we sat in here

giselle: i know like two weeks right?

yn: i think almost three *you say, adjusting your outfit as well as your seating position. riki scoots over so you have more room.*

jungwon: i mean it counts as like a summer break since we didn’t really take one.

kat: good point. you know guys do you guys remember those um fuck what were they called

riki: it would help if you gave a description

kat: shut up im thinking

*the rest of you stare at kat in silence until jungwon breaks the silence to laugh, the rest of you following suit*

jungwon: im sorry it’s just what could it be that has you thinking that long

giselle: she’s using everything in that little brain come on now!

*giselles comment makes the rest of you laugh even harder, kat laughing as well*

kat: i can’t even think of it nevermind

yn: it’s okay babe you’ll find it later.

riki: i have to say these costumes are amazing actually. might be my favorite theme

giselle: you know riki you’ve been hating a lot less recently.

jungwon: i was gonna say that too, he’s a bit nicer

riki: what can i say, finally holding my deal for the new year’s resolution

yn: watch now that we said this he’s gonna be doing some fucked up shit by the time the episode comes out

*a text box pops up on the screen saying “he in fact did do some fucked up shit during the editing process of the episode - jungwon” then disappears after a couple seconds.*

riki: you have no faith in me

yn: simply stating the facts

jungwon: you guys ready for me to sign in?

kat: go for it man *she nods at jungwon who smiles back. jungwon adjusts himself and looks to the camera*

jungwon: beep beep! you’ve arrived in yap central i am your host today, jungwon or aang. starting from my far left we have.

kat: toph

riki: zuko

yn: katara!

giselle: azula

sunoo: appa!! *he shows off his fuzzy appa bucket hat, earning a smile from all of you*

yn: sunoo i love you please don’t die

*sunoo looks at you in horror as the others burst out laughing*

jungwon: anyways.. *nervous laugh* the cycle is complete so today is a deep episode!

giselle: oh my god last time i literally bawled on my way home

kat: won you always pick the most brutal questions

sunoo: i cannot believe you asked us if the younger versions of ourselves would like the us now. like that is so ugh

riki: look at the way he’s smiling i think it’s something torturing again

*jungwon grins evilly at everyone making the rest of you groan in both discomfort and agony.*

jungwon: starting with my first question! what is a positive impact you have noticed on each of us. let’s start with sunoo. you guys don’t have to go one at a time just build it up.

sunoo: okay well.. lay it on me. *he looks to the rest of you, nervously, then shocked at who speaks up first*

riki: you laugh a lot more

*giselles eyes widened as riki spoke, the rest of you sharing the same reaction. everyone stayed quiet so riki could talk.*

riki: like when we were in highschool you always seemed to be bothered, or like you just never really were happy. and i think when we started doing this and you started tiktok you’ve been a lot happier

yn: i was honestly gonna say the same thing. you seem happier when we go out sunoo, like you want to be there.

sunoo: i feel a lot happier, honestly it sounds stupid but doing this with you guys does make me really happy.

kat: i agree. i mean i really wouldn’t trade it for anything.

giselle: awww look at us having our moment!

*both you and sunoo giggle at giselles comment, jungwon nodding to giselle, signaling she’s next*

kat: giselle, you don’t really care what people have to say about you anymore.

jungwon: ahhhh i was gonna say that

kat: like you seem so much more confident now than you did before.

giselle: when though? because i feel like i just started feeling like this overnight.

yn: if i were to pinpoint a time frame id say when you broke up with [BLEEP]

sunoo: no i COMPLETELY agree, like there’s a brightness to you now.

giselle: aw thank you guys *she pouted then smiled*

jungwon: guys please be nice to me.

riki: you’ve always been a natural born leader. i just think you’ve always been positive.

yn: i agree but there’s like a glow to him now

kat: oh my god are you pregnant?

*everyone looks at kat then bursts out laughing. some of you stop but jungwon and giselle can’t stop laughing.*

sunoo: oh my god it has something to do with who gave you that bracelet

jungwon: sunoo seriously *his cheeks turn pink, hand now covering the friendship bracelet*

giselle: oooo who made it for you?

jungwon: it was a mutual swap

yn: mutual swap.. or she gave you that wap?

*the others start laughing again, jungwon as well. riki daps you up*

riki: that was a bar

jungwon: i’m not admitting anything.. on camera.

everyone: OOOOOOOO

jungwon: next! go flame yn!!

yn: not fair, we weren’t even done with you

jungwon: don’t care, you’re not as closed off as you used to be

riki: oh my god yeah, when we were kids you were so shy

yn: really? i feel like im still in my little shell

kat: no i get what they mean. i mean even when i met you, you were really shy.

yn: thank you?

riki: i think jungwon means it in the way that you’re more open to meeting others now. like you enjoy being a people person

yn: ahhh, i see now. i guess the podcast really helped with that. like seeing people say how they enjoy my little bits and just things like that. it sounds conceited but it almost made me feel like people actually valued me? you know.

giselle: i get it, it doesn’t sound conceited babe

yn: okay i don’t like this much attention

giselle: this sounds weird to say but riki has gotten nicer atleast to us

kat: yeah i see

riki: die

sunoo: glad to know you haven’t changed..

jungwon: guess someone doesn’t wanna open up today

riki: oh would you look at that! it’s kats turn!!

yn: i think kats tells us a lot more now. like before you never really told us anything about yourself.

kat: i just have trust issues, it was nothing personal.

giselle: it’s true it took her so long to open up to me

riki: i honestly think the podcast brought out the best in us. surprisingly enough

jungwon: i see what you mean. maybe another way to put it is that we realized how much closer the camera brought us

giselle: or this friendship is just a ploy for jungwon to make more money off of us

*everyone laughs*

sunoo: we’re such coworkers

yn: heard it here first!! giselle hates her friends

giselle: can you stop with that *laughs*

yn: oh i’ll drag it through the mud

giselle: then i’ll drag yn[BLEEP] through the mud

*everyone laughs even harder now, you side eyeing giselle.*

sunoo: she kinda got you there

yn: let’s move on?

jungwon: speaking of relationships. *you glare jungwon down as he chuckles a little, looking at his phone once more.* how do you guys think social media affected your relationships and how do you think social media just influences how you view yourself. you can answer it in any order.

sunoo: i feel like having a presence on social media just makes having a relationship so much harder.

giselle: it kinda does, like people just expect for you to lay out your entire lives on social media.

jungwon: i think it depends on what kind of person you’re with, it’s almost like that person has to be up to your fans standards you know.

yn: i think there’s some people who can be normal about it but at the same time you have to be okay with everyone knowing everything about you.

kat: yeah but then it just shows that people online think that we don’t deserve privacy. it’s fucked up like they’re borderline stalking us you know?

*riki glanced at you as kat spoke, noticing how you stiffened at the word stalking*

riki: a lot of people aren’t okay online, it’s weird. like being so obsessed with someone to the point of finding out their personal information

giselle: if that ever happened to any of us i really don’t know what i would do.

jungwon: i think i honestly would try to sue you know. you have to be a certain level of fucked to do something like that.

yn: yeah, i agree it’s so weird.

kat: i kinda don’t wanna sound like a pick me

riki: just say it, you won’t sound like one.

kat: it’s so much harder being a girl with a social media presence.

sunoo: the fact that you had to hesitate to even say that says everything

jungwon: i really don’t get it either, like i’ve seen both women and men do the same things online and sometimes the guy is worse than the girl and yet it’s always the girl getting attacked and harassed.

giselle: i think it’s because people just view girls as easy targets almost. like a girl could do something completely normal and the internet would spin it to make her a villain

yn: it’s disgusting really, no one really ever really wants to side with a girl.

jungwon: do the comments still get you guys? i mean i know it was really bad in the beginning

kat: actually no i remember when it got bad. it got bad that episode where [BLEEP]

*jungwon and giselle glance at each other then start laughing*

giselle: remind me to edit that out.

yn: honestly no, the comments don’t bother as much anymore. after a while i realized that they’re just saying this because they have nothing else to talk about so i just stopped looking.

kat: i agree, it gets better when you just stop reading the comments all together.

riki: god please take periods away from women and give it all to me.

*you and kat give riki a look then burst out laughing, sunoo jungwon and giselle following that.*

sunoo: can’t stay serious for a second

riki: i would never joke about women in pain

*jungwon and kat keep laughing as riki goes on, unable to take him seriously*

yn: going back to the original question i just think it’s hard, like seeing people overstep a boundary or intrude on your life and just be okay with it

sunoo: and people just say oh well you asked for this um? no i didn’t actually i just wanted post skincare videos

*jungwon snorts, causing a chain reaction for everyone else to laugh*

kat: im glad we haven’t cried in this episode yet.

giselle: oh my god don’t jinx it he still has two more questions

jungwon: you might cry at this next one *kat sends a look to jungwon and he gives her an evil smile* my next question is what changes have we seen in one another as we’ve grown up together. it can be good or bad.

riki: jungwons lost it this is so similar to the first question

yn: i feel like he means overall

jungwon: thank you! atleast someon listens to me

yn: *you look around shocked and confused* oh my god.. did you guys hear that? was that a ghost?

*jungwon stares at you as everyone else laughs at your joke*

sunoo: so are we gonna go around in a circle?

jungwon: no how about.. the person sitting across from you. like riki sits across from giselle so they can say it about each other

kat: wait i wanna start

sunoo: this is too much pressure

kat: *she stares at sunoo and smiles warmly* sunoo i admire your love for us. like i don’t know you always support all of us no matter what and i feel like as we’ve grown closer you just have so much love to give

giselle: that’s so adorable

riki: sunoo i love your videos please don’t die

sunoo: STOP WITH THAT JOKE *he turns to look at kat* thank you kat i love you. i have to say sometimes i feel like you don’t tell us everything but it’s okay, just because we’re your friends doesn’t mean we have to know everything about you. i just want you to know that we’ll always listen no matter what.

*kat stares at sunoo as he smiles at her, then looks down when she feels tears welling up in her eyes. riki looks at giselle and jungwon panicked as they pass him the box of tissues.*

yn: aw babe *you frown looking at her as she lifts her head up to see tears streaming down her cheeks*

sunoo: wait i didn’t mean to make you cry

kat: it’s okay i jinxed myself

*everyone laughs slightly, still worried about her. sunoo moves his mic and gets up to hug kat. they stay like that for a few seconds until he lets go, patting her head. he says something but the mic can’t pick it up then walks back to his seat.*

kat: it’s not that i don’t want there was just a time where i felt like no one really care you know?

jungwon: you’re not obligated to tell us everything, but we care more than you think even if we have weird ways of showing it. *he glares at riki who only throws his hands up*

*the rest of you laugh at riki’s reaction and even kat lets out a chuckle after wiping her tears*

kat: to the viewers watching.. this never happened i am mysterious and batman doesn’t cry

giselle: nurse.. she’s out again

riki: okay giselle! lay it on me! *claps his hands together*

giselle: you use being mean as a cover up you actually care a lot about what people think but you use being rude or mean as a shield.

*sunoo gasps, the rest of you stare in silence because giselle is 100% right*

riki: okay cut the cameras

jungwon: i mean she’s not wrong

riki: if you wanted me to cry it’s not gonna happen

giselle: i know

riki: i hate you guys

sunoo: yeah sure you do

riki: well, since you want a taste of your own medicine *riki clears his throat* you shouldn’t get into another relationship, atleast until you evaluate how you act during them.

giselle: excuse me?

jungwon: weird ass time to admit your feelings

riki: you’re a weirdo that’s not how i meant it

yn: well then how did you mean it

kat: i’m curious

riki: every time i've seen you get into a relationship you just stop acting like yourself. you’re less confident and it’s almost as if you change yourself to please the guy you’re with. I just don’t like seeing any of my friends like that.

*all of you stare in silence at giselle, the air feeling heavy as she pushes her mic away and mumbles something to jungwon then ups and leaves.*

yn: um. is she okay?

jungwon: she needs a second

riki: was it something i said?

jungwon: it’ll be okay, she just said she needs a second.

sunoo: she’ll be okay guys, let’s move on yeah?

yn: okay well.. jungwon i think you bottle a lot of things up, intentional or not.

jungwon: *he sighs, crossing his arms* it’s not intentional i just think you guys have too many worries on your own plates to worry about mine.

kat: even if we have a lot going on that’ll never stop us from wanting to know what’s going on won

jungwon: i know i guess it’s just hard? to admit i need help?

sunoo: there’s never anything wrong with that

jungwon: thanks guys

riki: yeah yeah

jungwon: okay yn, im glad you like yourself more

kat: um

riki: wow!

sunoo: that is certainly a statement

yn: excuse me??

jungwon: no i worded that terribly

*the 5 of you burst out laughing at jungwons poor word choice. within this time giselle walks back in, closing the door slightly. the mics can’t pick it up but riki mouths “im sorry” to her. causing her to shake her head and smile. “it’s good” she mouths back making him smile back.*

jungwon: what i mean to say is that you’re more confident now. not just about yourself but your videos too. i’m glad to see this change in you

yn: thank you won, it means a lot

jungwon: of course

giselle: well this was certainly an episode

yn: one of us always ends up crying

sunoo: that sadist probably likes it too

jungwon: woah? the term isn’t sadist

*the rest of you laugh*

sunoo: let’s have a group hug! everyone up on your feet

*sunoo stands up, kat and giselle following suit. you and jungwon stand up and riki groans, then reluctantly stands up. the 6 of you huddle around one another and go for a group hug. the mics can’t pick up your voices but the recording has slight shuffling and giggles from you 6. after a couple seconds you pull apart and sit back down in your respective seats.*

giselle: i love you guys

kat: me too

sunoo: me three

jungwon: me four

yn: me five

*everyone looks at riki who only rolls his eyes*

riki: me six..

jungwon: well guys hope you enjoyed your stay in yap central we hope you didn’t cry too much. i have been your host jungwon and please make sure to check out our links in this description and like, share, subscribe, and comment! till next time!!

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » lol UMMMMMMM sorry guys i didnt realize how long it had been without an update WE ARE SO BACK THO

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[onepiecestarry]

A Different Kind of Pirate - Part 1

Hi Everyone! This is my first time writing a story so please be gentle! But I would love feedback :) I plan on making this a series just for funsies and want to see where it goes, I have some plans for the future parts but I won’t spoil. In my head, I’m picturing this before the Dressrosa arc but it honestly can be any time you prefer, I’ll make sure not to follow any plot. If you all would like more parts please let me know so I can be faster! Anyway, enjoy the story!

Zoro x Reader

(intro part)

Future fluff (maybe some smut)

Masterlist

Part 1: Introductions

I yank at my hands another time trying to get free. I stare at the water below me trying to think of a way out of this. I feel the stick they’ve been pushing me with hitting my back again. 

“Either jump in yourself or we’ll dump you in” a gross voice says. 

I can’t believe I got caught by such losers. As I close my eyes for one last second I hear crashing. I open my eyes to a ship crashing into the side where I was just about to fall. I quickly jump onto the other ship hoping to find something to cut my ties. 

As I look around I take in the huge ship I had landed on. A bunch of people come rushing up to the side of the boat, one of them, a tall, dark, and beautiful woman comes to help untie me. I thank her and she smiles at me warmly. 

The rest of her crew start arguing with the other ship, while everyone is distracted I take a rope and swing over to my captor’s ship to grab my stuff. I quickly find my sword and bow but cannot find my hat. 

The crew notices I’m there and tries to attack me, I quickly disarm them and with my sword to the captain’s throat ask “Where’s my hat.”

“You seriously came back for that?” he questions. 

“Tell me or I’ll kill you.” I retort.

“It’s in my office.” He says exasperated. 

I quickly run to his office and grab the rest of my belongings, as I come out I knock out most of his men, just in case. I jump onto the large ship that saved me and push the other boat away. I wave goodbye as we sail off. 

I turn around to the, what I’m guessing, is the entire crew. They look at me in bewilderment as I adjust my hat. 

“Well thank you all for saving me, that would’ve been bad if you hadn’t!” I said with a smile. 

They all look a bit relieved, except for this tall broody man with green hair. 

A small creature comes up to me and asks “Are you injured at all? I can help you!” with a smile. I smile and pat him on the head, “No, I’m perfectly alright but thank you.”

I see the crew start to relax, the broody man sits on their bench swing laying back while the rest start to find seats as well. Then, from above me a man’s face drops in front of mine. 

“Hi! I’m Luffy! I’m gonna be king of the pirates!” he says excitedly. 

“Oh! I’ve heard of you, you have a much kinder face than most describe you as, which is surprising since they say you are the kindest man they’ve met.” I laugh. 

The crew looks at me confused. 

“What do you mean? Most people are scared of us because we are pirates, even though they know nothing about us.” a beautiful redhead questions. 

“Ah well, I am not most people.” I say with a smirk.

I walk over to the bench swing and place my sword and bow on the tree next to the swing. 

“Mind if I sit here pretty boy?” I ask the swordsman before taking a seat next to him as he ignores me. The rest of the crew gathers around and mentions they have a lot of questions. 

“I would love to answer all of your questions, but let's do introductions first” I say as I smile. They all look approvingly. 

“I’m Chopper! I’m the ship’s doctor, and I’m not a raccoon so don’t ask!” He exclaims. I let out a little giggle at this and looked to the next person. 

“I’m Robin, I specialize in archeology.” she smiles. I smile back, she is a lovely person I think to myself. 

“I’m Nami, I’m the navigator and person who keeps us out of trouble.” she says laughing, I laugh with her enjoying the moment. “Oh! And that's Zoro next to you, he’s not very talkative, or warm, or nice, but I’m sure you can see that.” as she says that he scoffs next to me. 

“I can see that” I laugh, “but, he sure is pretty.” I remark. As I say that the whole crew starts giggling and I can see Zoro fighting the redness coming to his cheeks. 

We continue sitting there with introductions until finally Luffy gets too impatient and starts asking me questions. 

“How do you know who we are?” He asks quickly. 

“Well, that's a bit of a long story” I say. 

“We have time.” He smiles. 

“Haha alright. I decided to become a pirate, not because I want to be ‘king of the pirates’ or anything like that, but because I simply want to be free.” I say as I lean back and look at the blue sky. “I started sailing the Grand Line and quickly found my calling, I would sail from island to island and help the villages there with whatever they need in exchange for food and housing. I would stay there for a few weeks and move to the next island. I’ve done things like take down other pirates, taking down marines, to just planting and harvesting crops. Once I felt that the town I was in, was in better shape, I would leave. I’ve been doing this for quite a while and as I move, a number of islands have told me about the Straw Hats and how kind they were and that they are grateful for pirates like us. So, as you can imagine I’ve heard some great things about you Luffy.” 

Luffy looks at me with a big smile. “I like you y/n.”

We continue with the interview until a blonde man and a tall skeleton walk out of a door yelling for dinner. As everyone looks over, the blonde spots me and it looks as if he’s about to faint and his nose starts bleeding. 

“Is he okay?” I question. 

“Yeah this is normal, you’ll get used to it” Nami remarks.

The blonde man starts hurtling towards me and before he gets too close, Zoro takes his unsheathed sword and pushes him away. 

“Hands off shitty cook” He says with a growl.

Everyone looks pretty surprised Zoro stopped him, but not too surprised as they have a known rivalry. 

“Thank you” I whisper to Zoro and he grunts in return. 

Everyone then leads me to the dining room, where everyone begins to sit. I then see three open chairs, I go to sit in one with an empty seat beside it, but before the blonde man can sit next to me, Zoro grabs the chair and sits. I whisper thank you again as he sits.

Dinner went well as we all continued to share stories and get to know one another better. Eventually, I knew I needed to bring up my passage. 

“Well, thank you all for saving me today. If it’s not too much to ask I would appreciate being dropped off wherever you dock next.” I smile nervously. 

“What! You can’t leave so soon!” Luffy exclaims.

“I don’t want to be a bother.” I explain. 

“Nami set course for the farthest island you can” Luffy tries to whisper but fails. Everyone laughs at this attempt. “What’s so funny?” He questions everyone. 

“Oh, nothing” Robing manages to say between giggles. 

“Well y/n, unfortunately, the only open bed is in the crow’s nest with Zoro, I hope you don’t mind snoring.” She winks at me.

“Haha, it's alright, I probably won’t sleep much tonight anyway” I say. 

We all go our separate ways to bed, but Robin shows me the bathrooms and where the crow’s nest is. I see Zoro heading up there. 

“He usually stays up for watch most nights, so if you get uncomfortable you are welcome to come stay in our room.” she says kindly. 

“Oh it's alright, I usually do the same.” I say with a smile. 

We say goodnight and I go off to make some tea. I decide to make some for Zoro as well, as sort of a ‘thank-you-for-letting-me-sleep-in-your-room’ gift. I climb up the stairs to the crow’s nest and don’t see Zoro anywhere. He must be in the bathroom up here. I place his tea on the table and head out to the balcony to sit and sip on my tea. 

Eventually, I hear a door open and footsteps to the sliding doors. 

“You aren’t going to bed?” he questions plainly. 

“Eh, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. Oh! By the way, I made you some green tea, it's on the table.” I say without looking at him.

He huffs in response and goes back into the room, a few minutes later he returns and says “You can have the bed in the corner, I like to sleep in the hammock anyway.”

“Oh okay, are you sure? I don’t mind-” I try to say as he cuts me off. 

“Yes, yes” and he walks off into the dark room. 

I stay on the balcony for a bit more, finishing my tea, and eventually decide to try to get some sleep. As I walk in I see Zoro looking out the window, I’m guessing this is the ‘watch’ Robin was talking about. I then realize I have no pajamas, and my typical pirate outfit isn’t very comfortable while sleeping. I quietly go over to Zoro. 

“Zoro…” I wait for a response.

“... What do you want, you should go to bed.” he replies snarkily. 

“Yeah about that, I kinda don’t have pajamas and forgot to ask the girls if they have any. Could I maybe borrow something?” I ask as nicely as I can, hoping he feels kind today. He groans and gets up walks to a closet and throws a shirt at me. 

“Don’t ruin it.” He says as he moves back to his original position. 

I whisper a thank you as I go to change and slip into bed. 

The bed was more comfortable than I thought and before I drifted off to sleep I see the empty cup of tea I gave Zoro. I smile as I fall asleep, happy he liked the tea.

-

-

Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it! Feel free to reach out with any advice or comments!

Part.2

[writing-blog-iguess]

Online Matchup 2

Summery: Y/n gets sick and gets a surprise. Too bad they're a little out of it, otherwise they would see it.

Warning: teasing, fluff, swearing, mistakes

a/n: I tried something new, with the sections Jason's pov and readers. Let me know if you like it. Otherwise, enjoy!

Words: 2174

ao3

Series master list

-----

September 29

Y/N: (3:04 am) Do you think if they didn’t kill Eddie that Steddie would be a thing?

Jason: (3:04 am) Why the ever loving fuck are you awake at three in the morning?

Y/N: (3:04 am) College student

Jason: Aside from that?

Y/N: Sick

Jason: You seemed fine a few days ago

Y/N: A lot can happen as time passes Also, it’s the season where the weather doesn’t make up its mind and it’s cold the one day and warm the next day

Jason: All true all true And it doesn’t help that mr freeze attacked the university the day either

Y/N: I hate the fact that we’ve known each other for like a day, talked for hours And you can read me

Jason: I am a man of many talents I also read the news Though one can say the same for you

Y/N: Ew, who reads the news? I’ll give you that

Jason: I do thank you very much So is it the flu or just a cold

Y/N: Can’t tell But my body feels like it’s been hit by a truck I can’t breathe and I’ve been throwing up a storm I want to die

Jason: Can’t be that bad

Y/N: I’ve been sick for the past three days, I haven’t been school and the only time I’ve left my bed was to throw up It’s that bad

Jason: That sounds like a flu Have you eaten anything? Taken anything?

Y/N: I’ve eaten some crackers, can’t really stomach anything else

Jason: Would you mind giving me your address

Y/N: Sir, I did not message you for a booty call I am a lady of the highest regards

Jason: You’re funny when your sick I was gonna send you some soup that I have when I’m sick But if your gonna be like that, then never mind 

Y/N: … Chicken noodle?

Jason: Only the very best

Y/N: I’m sorry, I’ll give it to you if you give me your number

Jason: Bold words coming from a lady

Y/N: Wow

Jason: You said it

Y/N: I’ve changed my mind

Jason: No you haven’t

Y/N: You're not a mind reader, are you?

Jason: No, but it’s soup and you're sick, are you really gonna say no to free soup?

Y/N: …. I am not

—

After saving Jason’s number to your phone, and confirming that it was actually Jason, you sent him your address. Tossing your phone to the side, you snuggled into your blankets and fell asleep.

A few hours later, a knock at the door is what wakes you from your nap. Blinking away the sleep, you look around confused on why you’re sleeping on the couch. Stretching, you grab your phone to see that soup is gonna be on the way soon.

At another knock, you slowly get up from the couch and grab your wallet and a mask. After putting it on, you open the door. “Sorry. I am a little disoriented.”

“No worries,” the food delivery person said, handing the bag to you. Taking it, you set it aside before opening your wallet.

“How much do I own you?” you asked, and he shook his head.

“There’s no need for it, it was already paid for,” he answered. You looked up and squinted at him as a sense of familiarity hit you.

“Are you sure?” He nodded and sent you a smile. Sighing in defeat, you let your arms drop. “Alright if you’re sure.” And before he can leave, you're quick to add on, “do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar.”

“Don’t think I could forget a pretty face like yours,” he said, adjusting his hat down a little. Any other day, you would have scoffed and shut the door. But today wasn’t any other day, and you were sick, and that meant your face bloomed like a tomato.

“Aren’t you a charmer,” you managed out, and he smiled as if you said something funny. “Well, um, thank you for the soup. I’ll let you get back to your night.”

“Hope you feel better,” he said, tipping his hat and leaving before you could say anything back. You peaked out and watched him leave before closing the door.

You stared at the soup for a bit, feeling warm for a different reason. Blinking away the warm feeling, you went about and poured yourself a bowl of soup. Once the bowl was finished, you washed up and went back to bed, hoping to sleep off the rest of the flu.

—

Jason 7:30am: Did the soup make it okay? How are you feeling? Okay, I’m going to take the silence that your sleeping Will be check in later 

Jason: Okay, it’s been twelve hours birdie, should I be worried?

Y/N 2:30pm: Holy FUCK What was in that soup?

Jason I take it you’re feeling better

Y/N: Sooooo much I feel like a new person Imma needs that restaurant name. I bet they have good food

Jason: The best But I’m afraid I will not be sharing that information

Y/N: Boooooo

Jason: Where have you been anyways?

Y/n: Sleeping I woke up maybe once or twice to go to the bathroom I’m sore now though, so I’ve been walking around What was in that soup?

Jason: Chicken, spices, water I don’t know, whatever else is in the soup

Y/n: Well it was good soup Compliments to the chief

Jason: Lol I’ll let him know

Y/n: Or I could do it 

Jason: I will not be giving you the restaurants name

Y/n: Boooo

Jason (11:30pm) How does one kill someone and make it look like an accident?

Y/N: Depends If in hospital, inject air in the iv heart attack 

Jason: That wasn’t meant for you

Y/N: If not, still inject air and it’ll still look like a heart attack You just have to hope the M.E doesn’t look for the injection sight. Well, you could always burn that part but I think that’s just a dead give away Hide it in a tattoo, should work Maybe

Jason: The way you didn’t have to think about that should have me worried 

Y/n: Who was it meant for then?

Jason: My brothers

Y/N: I should be worried that you have conversations like these with them But somehow I’m not surprised 

Jason: Excuse me?

Y/N: You’re excuse

Jason: Funny Why do you even know that anyways?

Y/N: Don’t worry about it

Jason: Now I’m going to worry about it

Y/N: But you don’t need too

Jason: Mm, still gonna worry

Y/N: If you say so Man, how out of it was I?

Jason: Don’t know, you seemed coherent enough when we talked Although you did say you weren’t a booty call type of women

Y/N: I’m not But while talking to you, I must have felt a little better Because these emails are not it Prof, am sick, no school. Nobody yours, y/n

Jason: That was beautiful 

Y/n: And all they said was to get better before coming back to class I don’t think I could ever show my face there again

Jason: I’m sure they’ve had plenty of emails like that before

Y/n: Even still

Jason: They won’t care You need to go to class if you want to graduate 

Y/n: I hate that your right

Jason: Always am

Y/n: We’ll see about that

Jason: How are you feeling now?

Y/n: Better I think the worst of it is over Had a shower and eat something that wasn’t soup so things are looking up Not ready to run a marathon but ready enough to tackle the homework that I missed

Jason: That’s good Where were you when the mr freeze attacked anyways?

Y/n: Library The fucking library! Nowhere near the science building! But some asshole decided to bring the fight away from the science building Which I get, can’t really fight around all the chemicals it has But why did they have to move it towards the library Whenever I find the person who’s idea that was its on sight

Jason: Why didn’t you run away?

Y/N: I dunno Maybe because I needed to finish the project that was due the next day But to be fair, I wasn’t the only one who didn’t run away either Like the majority of the students stayed to either watch or finish their homework

Jason: College students are a different bread

Y/N: Death means nothing when your homework is half your grade

Jason: You’re all bark and no play, aren’t you?

Y/n: Only when there’s consent

Jason: Good to know 

—

“You aren’t supposed to be on your phone when on patrol, Todd,” Robin reminded, annoyed. Jason made a face behind his mask, but kept his attention on his phone.

“I think I’m free to do whatever I want,” he said, snorting at the oncoming messages you had sent about wanting to fight the person who thought it was a great idea to lead Mr. Freeze away from the science building and towards the library. He had half a mind to tell you it was Nightwing, only for the sole purpose of riling you up. But he decided against it, wanting you to feel better completely before teasing you. “Besides, it's slow tonight.”

“Did you forget we’re on a stakeout?” Robin asked, leaning over to reach for the phone. Jason stepped back and shrugged.

“I’m paying attention.”

“Not nearly as much as you should be,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and turned back to the building Bruce had wanted someone to look at. “Who are you talking to anyways? You don’t have any friends.”

Jason squawked, offended. “I have friends!” he defended, turning to look at his younger brother. Robin only snorted and shook his head.

“Superhero friends, and I’m pretty sure you don’t talk to them nearly as much as you're talking to the person you are now,” he pointed out. Which is true, over the last week or so, Jason found that he was talking to you more than any of his other friends. But he wasn’t going to tell that to Damian. “So, who are you talking to?”

“Why do you care?” he shot back, turning back to his phone.

“You’re glued to that thing constantly,” he said and just then their earpieces crackled coming to life before hearing Dick’s voice filter through.

“Little D’s got a point Jay. Whenever I see you, you're typing away and smiling like someone made a joke or something,” Dick said.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“No, but you giggle like a schoolgirl with a crush,” Tim said. Jason rolled his eyes, he wasn’t that bad that everyone noticed. Was he?

“Maybe he met someone?” Duke said and the line went dead before it exploded with everyone’s yelling. Jason winced, and turned off his ear piece, relishing in the silence.

“Is Thomas right? You met someone and that’s who you’re talking to?” Robin asked, watching Jason with a calculated look.

“For me to know, and you to never find out,” Jason answered before leaving him be. He ignored Damian’s “we’ll find out eventually!” as he walked. Once he was far enough away, he sat at the edge of the building, and turned back to his phone.

—

Jason: Do you think anyone would notice if I got rid of my brothers?

Y/N: A hundred percent Bruce would know … Well, it depends if he pays attention to how many kids he has Your sisters might notice though Doesn’t Bruce have a butler?

Jason: Yeah, Alfred

Y/N: He will definitely notice And all of Gotham So I’m afraid your suck with them

Jason: Damn And here I was hoping to be an only child

Y/N: Should have thought about that before meeting Bruce

Jason: Funny

Y/N: I try to be Are they giving you grief?

Jason: You can say that They found out about you Well not you specifically They know I’m talking to someone

Y/N: Oooh Am I your dirty little secret?

Jason: Why did you have to say it like that? And no, you’re not my dirty secret I wanted this to be my thing before they started hounding me with question about you

Y/N: Okay that’s fair Wanna get to know me before introducing me to le family I get that

Jason: Have you told anyone yet?

Y/N: Nope

Jason: Now who’s the dirty little secret?

Y/N: You apparently

Jason: I’m okay with that

Y/N: Oh my god I have to go, finish this homework and sleep before class tomorrow

Jason: Yeah, me too. Not the homework part, but I promised Bruce I’d help him with something Talk to you tomorrow

Y/N: Good luck Night!

Jason: Night

[heartbreakgrill]

Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 8; "My reputation's never been worse."

“This is so fucking stupid.”

I shoved my hands into my hoodie pocket, eyes rolling at the sight of the boys, noise makers between their lips, some jank ass sign unraveling in the wind.

“Your mom’s fucking stupid,” Max fired back with his usual goofy smile, words muffled from the noise maker in his mouth. His knocked his fist against my elbow gently as he passed by, moving to help Cy hold up the poster board.

They’d bought it at a random Walgreens, after having forced the Uber driver to pull over, abruptly. Then, with bumpy hands and terrible penmanship, they wrote out some sarcastic for Sam about returning home from prison.

“Don’t be a sour puss, dude,” Adam replied. His brows were furrowed, chin dipping side to side in disagreement to my negative statement.

I looked to him, watching as he pulled a cone shaped hat down onto his hair, the rubber band snug against his chin. The meer humor of the too-small hat on his head made his words lose any meaning. I wanted to laugh, but instead I shot back, my brows skeptically, sarcasm quick as air, “Who? Me? No, never!”

Adam scoffed a laugh. His hat was finally adjusted now, hands falling to his sides exasperatedly. “Seriously. Just try to be nice, for once. Sam said Daisy’s, like, so sweet.” My skepticism only darkened my gaze, sarcasm sinking into genuine wonder, “So, what, we’re gonna be dancing around some child all summer?”

It was a valid question. When Sam asked us about Daisy joining the tour for the summer, everyone else just jumped on board. I, however, took a little convincing. What business did she even have here, 5,000 miles from home? It’s not like she had any professional connections to touch on, nor was London that interesting. Or, maybe I was just being a pessimist, again…

To say the least, I had trust issues. Or, in my therapist’s more light turn of phrase, I was cautious, careful to new people because I had a lot on the line with my career and had been through numerous situations with others that ended up with me, well…in therapy.

Max battled with the cardboard sign as the wind seemed to be winning the war. He struggled to get the words out as he scuffled to straighten its edges, which seemed to take more work than it needed to, “She’s literally only 5 years younger than you.”

“So, a child?”

“So, a 23 year old, grown woman. She’s really smart, Sam said. I’m sure you can have some fun conversations about the elements and shit.”

“Sam’s biased,” I murmured, focused now on the cigarette between my pointer and middle fingers. I dallied with lighting it, displaced energy in the act. It was early. I was tired.

“Sam’s one of your best mates,” Cy shot me a look. “Listen, just give her a chance. Stop moping just because you think some woman’s gonna take away from our guy time this summer.”

I straightened up, offense hitting my features like a stone wall, “When did I say that? I’m just worried we’re gonna have to cater to some child while we’re trying to literally do our jobs. She’s gonna be pursuing around like she’s in some Taylor Swift video while we’re going to be trying to earn our income. It’s just…weird.”

I’d never mention that fear to them- the fear I had of this trust. I think maybe if they all looked at me a little more closely, they’d see it. They’d see the fear in my eyes. But, I was really good at displacing my anxieties onto a separate, less pressing issue.

If I was ever terrified the sky was going to fall, then, suddenly, I was lashing out about the uncut grass in the front yard, randomly. Gotta love unhealthy coping mechanisms. Cy was still looking at me all judgmentally. I knew he wanted to lecture me further, but he simply reached over, patted my shoulder, and said, “Just…try not to be a dickhead, okay? Let the girl enjoy her summer.”

Max continued on, blabbering about something or the other. “I’m, like…Ollie, have you ever even seen a Taylor Swift video? I am pretty sure not a single fucking one takes place in Europe. They’re all super conceptual and abstract. Honestly, you might actually love some of ‘em. What’s that older one? With the trees and shit?”

“Out Of the Woods?” Adam was quick to fill in the blanks. I looked to him out of the corner of my vision, gaze narrowed. Of course he knew which one it was. He held his hands up, defensively, “What? My little cousin loves her.”

“Mhm,” I nodded, slow.

He trailed off, looking away, “And, maybe, you know, I do, too.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

Max latched onto Adam’s help, continuing his rant about Taylor Swift, of all things. “Fuck! Out of the Woods! It reminds me a lot of the Fall for Me video! There’s, ya know, water…lots of running…self-deprecation. Fuck, a Sleep Token/Taylor Swift collab would go so hard!”

“Shit, could you imagine some real drums on one of her songs?” Cy perked up at the thought, fingers thrumming against the corner of the sign that he’d now laid his clutches on. “Sick!”

“Oh, God,” I rubbed my forehead, itching more and more to finally light up my cigarette, puff out a few smokey deep breaths. “I can feel the glitter and sparkles starting to fucking suffocate me! Can we please talk about something else?”

“Whatever, Ollie,” Adam flicked his hand towards me dismissively. He went to change the subject when his phone dinged from his pocket. He pulled it out, in one fluid motion, and read whatever text he’d gotten. “Shit! They just got their bags! Quick! Hold up the sign!”

Max shuffled around, all energetic, trying to make everything look perfect. He quickly tried to put a party hat on my head. I had to shove his entire body into Adam to stop him from getting the string down over my chin.

“Fuck off!” I cursed, brushing out the torso of my hoodie. He giggled, annoyingly, knowing he’d successfully gotten on my nerves. Again.

Max turned his attention away from me and to the two people who had just walked out of the airport, suitcases rolling behind them, backpacks looped around their shoulders. I noticed Sam, first, his head dipped down into his phone, curly blonde hair mopped up atop his head. He was dressed, head to toe, in all black. It was a welcome site, the fifth member of our posse back in our home country, our original stomping grounds, even if he wasn’t from here.

I let a smile overtake my features, excitement bubbling in my cheeks. It was actually really good to see him.

I wouldn’t have even paid any attention to the girl standing beside him if she didn’t stick out so much, like a sore thumb. Her bright pink sweater, gray sweatpants, the purples and greens swirled around her suitcase. Every single thing touching her was just…so colorful. Even the expression on her face, wide grin, cheery eyes- though they were circled by tireless bags- it was all so glaring.

I narrowed my eyes skeptically.

As Sam fumbled about on his phone, she stepped forward, excitedly taking an extra noise maker, my left over party hat, from Max. She barely got the hat on before Sam was looking up, our small crowd erupting into joyous ruckus that caused him to nearly drop his phone.

I don’t know why, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I watched her, carefully, as she went through the motions of greeting everyone. Adam was his shy, introverted self. Cy was charismatic, Max obnoxiously flirty.

And she was just…constant, through it all. Upbeat, grinning, encouraging to every single average word that my friends told her.

And then she was looking at me, offering her hand. My head shook slightly as if to unscramble my consciousness. I glanced between her hand, her own gaze, unsure of what to do or say. I had been too busy watching. I barely brought myself out of that entrapped stare before my name came fumbling out of my mouth.

“Oliver.”

She seemed a little put off, taken aback, after I blatantly ignored her outstretched hand. But, I didn’t want to shake it. I was afraid that, if I touched it, she might shock me, sting me, scorch me with that bleeding sunshine she seemed to have sticking to her skin.

Besides, I couldn’t trust her, right? Right.

I turned my head away, feeling somewhat ashamed for the way I brushed her off. There was a rejected twinkle in her eyes, one that I could not handle. Moving on from that interaction, or in an attempt to do so, I tilted my chin down, glazing my eyes to the concrete. I shrunk beneath the cover of my hood. I didn’t need to feel bad for anything. I didn’t even know her, nor did she know me.

As the others finished up with their exchange of greetings, the group itself began making its way back to the Uber, with Sam and Daisy now a part of the flow.

The car ride back was objectively short, though it felt longer than the time on Apple Maps said. I rode in the back with the guys, pressed up against the door due to the lack of space. My long knees jutted out awkwardly. The bone of my leg ached from knocking against the door with each bump in the road that the car hit.

I stared out of the window, hoping the painful time would pass quicker. The ugliness of London stared back at me. A small, curious part of me kept darting my eyes towards the front seat, where she sat. But I stilled my gaze on the city.

That was maybe part of the issue- I just didn't understand why Daisy was so interested in visiting this place anyways. It was boring, bland. I associated the cloudy gray skies and rainy summers with some of the worst times of my life. This city looked the way I felt for most of it, too. The people were shit, too. Rude, always in a rush, unforgiving and untrustworthy.

What adventure could one find in this wet, concrete maze of hell?

Bored, I moved my attention back to the interior of the car, still resisting that urge to look forward. Adam, Cy, Sam, and Max were a cacophony of lost conversation, catching up, rumbling laughter. I listened for a moment, intently awaiting her to throw in her two sense. She seemed like the type to talk somebody’s ear off. Perhaps I could read between her sentences, find out her motives, her intentions, find something to use against her, so I could easily hate her and put distance between us-

Oh.

She was sleeping.

Her body was slumped against the door, neck pillow twisted around to support her forehead from the glass of the window. She cradled her hands to her stomach, the blanket she had just up underneath her chest.

The curve of her face caught my eye the most, the simple stillness of the lines around her lips, the peaceful flutter that ruffled her lashes every so often. I wondered what she dreamt of- rainbows, sunshine, lollipops. I bet she was the type of person who would respond, "World peace," when asked what she would wish for if she had a genie.

God. I really was an asshole. Here was this stranger, this beautiful, seemingly kind stranger, trying to catch up on sleep after traveling nearly 20 hours…and here I was, creating an entire persona around the two facts I actually knew about her. Maybe I should give her a chance, like the guys said. Maybe I should let her in, even if it was barely past the surface, and try to be amicable.

Maybe she wouldn’t sell my name to the paparazzi. Maybe she wouldn’t leak photos of me online, or call news sites to gain traction on social media.

I nearly flinched as she shifted in her slumber, so lost in my thoughts that the disruption was a panic. Her lips parted, just so, as air deflated from her lungs. The hair that curled around her face ruffled from the gentle gust.

Though she looked like Sam, she really was beautiful. Sure, Sam was attractive, in his own way. But, uniquely, Daisy was…honestly, gorgeous, all doe-eyed, rose lips, freckled cheeks.

I kept staring at her, analyzing, accidentally memorizing.

As I felt myself sinking, into my seat, into myself, into this stare I had on her, I straightened up, shoved myself back in the door.

The poor girl wasn’t even awake.

And I was being far too open.

When we reached the hotel, everyone piled out of the Uber. I went to step out, myself, to begrudgingly helped with luggage. But after I cast a casual glance over my shoulder, I noticed Daisy was still asleep. As though she were his responsibility, I found Sam and went to vocalize the issue with him. But he was busy with their bags.

None of the others were really familiar enough with her to consider her.

No one but me, I guess, because I was reaching out my fingers, touching her shoulder, telling her, "We're here."

I swept myself away before she could wake up and look me in the eyes. - "Where's your sister?" Cy inquired, poking at his dish with the fork in his hold.

Sam shrugged as he continued shoveling french fries in his mouth. "Sleeping, I think. She was fucking exhausted. Could barely get herself to bed this morning.”

"Poor girl," Max pouted his bottom lip. "Has she ever traveled this far from home?"

"Nope."

"Damn. Good for her, then. It's hard to just leave everything behind, to leave your everyday life for this type of thing for this long," Max continued.

I listened intently, though I made it seem like I wasn't even conscious of the guys seated at the table with me. Where they thought I was mindlessly stirring my drink, I was reading between the lines of every vague fact Sam dropped about Daisy.

"Well," he held a hand before his mouth as he chewed, swallowed. He sat back as he began to unload more information about his sister, "No offense to her, but she doesn't have much of a life. She works, like, two-three jobs at any given time. She works at some clinic during the day, waits tables in the evening, then does some stuff on campus here and there."

"Shit. Hope she's taking care of herself," Adam commented, thoughtfully.

"She does. I think. I don't know. We don't really get much time together anymore. Ever since mom died...I don't know. It's been hard to stay connected."

"This summer's gonna be good, then, for you guys to get to see each other," Cy touched Sam’s wrist with his fist, encouraging our friend with his response.

"Yeah," Sam's eyes seemed a little distant then, like there were foggy memories, regrets clouding his consciousness, "Yeah, I hope so."

Max went to speak again when Sam's phone went off. He pulled it out, scrolling through the texts he'd received. "Speak of the devil."

Sure enough, Daisy came padding into the hotel bar. Her hair was damp, twisted up behind her head by some clip. Her features were more prominent this way, skin shining with the care she must have just put into it. As she approached us, her perfume breezed off her skin, off her stupid Taylor Swift hoodie, right past my nose.

It smelled so sweet that I had to look away, focus on something else.

Everyone else greeted her, asking about how she slept, how she felt. I was inattentive, attempting to make it seem like I hadn’t just been thrown off balance.

I needed to do something, say something to her, to be welcoming. To make it seem like I wasn’t such a dickhead, even though I pretty much was. So, I worked on some phrases in my head, hoping to catch her in a side conversation, so there wasn’t so much tension with the others listening in. But, she walked out of the bar as quickly as she'd come.

I found the air to be cooler without her occupying the space.

I shivered and turned my chin towards that freeze.

-

Later that evening, I found myself on the hotel roof.

It was one of my favorite spots, no matter which city we were passing through, which state I found myself to be stuck in. I could go up to the highest floor, even if it wasn’t too far off of the ground, tune out the stress that came with work, and relax into the peace and quiet.

It was one of the healthier coping mechanisms my therapist and I had been working on. I was an antisocial person, to say the least. And when I’d had to be around others for too long, working literal overtime to just function like a normal person, I’d become irritable, withdrawn.

So, stalking off in the late hours of the evening with a book in my hand and some lyrics in my head became a usual, practiced ritual that I was comforted by, especially on tours.

The breeze of London flew past my face, braising goosebumps on my neck. I tucked my chin into my hoodie more. There were these tiki lights, all around me and the intimate seating area I occupied, but the little bits of light did nothing to help me see the book in my hands.

I tucked it away after straining for a few moments and settled on just resonating with myself for a bit. I watched the flames of the fire pit before me, listened to it crackle and pop. I was so focused on the peacefulness, that I hadn’t even noticed the elevator ding, nor the person scuffling across the concrete of the roof.

In fact, I didn’t even notice her until she was sitting across from me, these little alcohol bottles in her hands. The movement of her sitting before me flitted my gaze up, edges of my vision blurred slightly from the intensity of the flames. My hearing focused after. There was music streaming from the speakers on her phone, some Taylor Swift song I didn't recognize. I withheld the urge to roll my eyes and studied her movements.

She read the label on the mini shot of Jack Daniels with squinted eyes. I'd never seen someone pay so much attention to a simple liquor Maybe she'd never drank it before. That would be a strange fact, considering she was 23. Every 23 year old I knew had gone through every liquor known to man. Then, she drank it and I realized why she was so observant. Her face turned up in this grimace, lips puckered, brows furrowed. She just couldn't handle her liquor. Her examination of the bottle was really just a hesitance to consume it in the first place.

I stifled a laugh and instead found my words, urged to tease her for this occurrence, "Gonna share?' Maybe I should have intruded her peace more gently, or maybe I should have said something sooner than I did. Either way, I had spooked her enough that she jumped.

Her once shocked grimace twisted into a deep frown, like she was annoyed I had disturbed her. "How long have you been sitting there?"

My grin widened, though it didn't seem like she found much humor in the situation. "Long enough to know you can't take a shot." I held out my hand, awaiting her to hand over one of the bottles. She didn't do that Instead, her face hardened a bit and she made another comment, “Sorry I’m not an alcoholic. If you want one, you have to come get it, by the way. I’m comfy now.”

I was taken back by her crudeness. Everyone said she was so kind, so sweet. I'd even overheard her niceties earlier, at the airport, at the bar. Had I done something?

Instead of setting the record straight, communicating, though, I became defensive to her jabs. As I reached for one of the bottles, I said, "Comfy with this trash music playing?"

Funnily enough, this made her face sink more, if at all possible. Her frown was deep as a river, and murky as one, too, "Real men listen to Taylor Swift."

I tried another joke, hoping it would salvage the wreckage we were feeding, "Hey, haven't you heard? I'm a vessel, not a man?"

I don't know if it did, but she at least continued speaking to me. "So, vessel, what are you doing up here? Can't sleep?"

I tossed my hand in her direction, speaking with my casual satire, "Obviously." I looked away from her, breathless. I was trying so hard, so incredibly hard to seem careless, chill. I didn’t know why I couldn’t just, actually, genuinely not give a fuck.

I reached for my cigarettes, too stressed out to handle a head that was some sober from nicotine. After a long drag, I felt that familiar buzz of a clear head, the temporary reduction of anxiety.

Cigarettes were always a killer ice breaker, helpful in even the toughest, most awkward conversations. So, when my eyes popped back open and met hers, I offered a hit.

If her face had been disgusted before, it was even more so now. "That's okay, thanks," she almost sneered.

I pursed my lips. Okay, I wasn't the only one killing this conversation. She acted like she was just too good for anything that I had to do with. Like if she were to take a drag from this cigarette, she'd be infected with my sickness.

I voiced the concern with my snide tone again. Her response nearly made me choke on my own spit, “More like my mom died of lung cancer because she smoked for thirty years.”

As quick as possible, I stomped the butt into the ground. "Sorry."

She hummed some sort of response, looking away so uncomfortably. I wanted to grovel, to beg for her forgiveness in the case of such a small moment of misunderstanding, but I settled on another painful jab at a nice conversation.

“I’d ask what you’re doing up, but I figured you wouldn’t be able to sleep after the day you had.” She responded in that same dry tone, "Yeah, no."

Annoyed, I began to wonder where all this sweetness had gone. Earlier, with the guys, she had spoken like she'd known them for forever. Here, with me- she acted like I'd spit in her coffee this morning, like I was holding her at gun point just to have this conversation.

I gave up on trying to be overly considerate and shot straight to the point. I wanted answers anyways, and now I had a good reason to search for them, "What's your deal, Daisy?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" She responded.

I shrugged as I crossed my arms over my chest. What did she want it to mean? "Why are you here?" Instead of just answering the question, she countered me, echoing the question. Good fucking game, Daisy Hallett. Good fucking game.

I stretched my body out as I thought, unsure of how to answer. What was I here for? To do my job, obviously. So, I told her that. But, I should have known she would pry deeper. That were her job, after all, to observe, analyze, pry.

“That’s not what you’re here for,” She rejected my words, shaking her head just slightly, “That’s what everyone else is here for. What about you, Oliver?”

I started making music for myself, not anyone else. In the darkest, most terrible parts of my life, it had gotten me through to the other side with ease. It was my biggest coping skill, sitting at a clear number one on the list my therapist and I had outlined.

Getting paid for it, getting to tour and travel cities…that was all a plus. Touring, performing itself, were two things I was still trying to get used to. It was awesome to get to play my music life for others, to help them through to the other side, but it was sometimes…overwhelming, a hard pill to swallow.

So, I answered honestly this time, “To…worship. To celebrate my music, myself…life.”

She was impressed by this answer, pleased, and I could tell this by the stretch of her lips. That sweet, enticing smile did something to me.

As she held up the shot bottle in a gesture to cheers, I returned the smirk. We danced on the edge of some invisible line.

"To life."

I wanted to hear more of her voice, more of...her, more about her. So, I scrambled and said, "Wait, what about you?"

“There’s no deeper meaning to anything I do,” she waved me off.

I understood her more in this moment than I sometimes understood the people closest to me. She was like- she was insecure, she was scared. She was a little kid with monsters under her bed and in her closet.

So, I affirmed her existence with words that seemed so simple, yet would have meant so much for me to hear, too. “Oh, Daisy, there’s always deeper meaning to everything humans do. Think. What’s yours?”

This threw her off balance, yet somehow kept her from falling off the edge. It made the gears in her head turn, made her question her own thoughts. "I guess…I guess…to find that deeper meaning. To find what I’m looking for, maybe.”

She still didn't seem too sure, but I knew that, once this summer ended, once the leaves turned brown, and she returned back to a place called home, she would know it in her bones.

And I think, maybe, I might know it, too.

Sooner, rather than the later that I hoped for, we were in the elevator. Hours of breathless conversation sat, stale in the air on the roof, abandoned as the steel doors trapped us in silence.

The more she told me, the more terrified I was of her very existence. She was smarter than me, and very good at returning snide comments. Her wit was so profoundly intelligent, that I found myself silenced on more than one occasion.

Above all this- she was a disruption- she was chaos. She made me think differently, harder. She made me laugh.

I was drawn in by all of this, by her eyes, by the way the corners of her pink lips curled up into her cheeks. It took me a second to realize that she was staring back up at me, that our shoulders were turning to face one another, that my fingers were grazing the sleeve of her hoodie.

"You're very pretty, Daisy," the words fell out in a dangerous whisper. I loved the way she blushed, the way the tip of her nose scrunched, and she fell back onto her heels a bit.

I would have kissed her, I knew that for sure, had the elevator doors not opened up, had we not parted ways there, in the barren hallways. And I would have sought her out, would have reached for a simple phone number, another moment on the roof, another conversation about life and college and her favorite fucking color...

had I not made it back to my room and looked myself in the eye, through the smudged reflection of the bathroom mirror. The painful eye contact brought me back down to Earth, reminded me of the ugliness swirled up inside my chest, the bitter desire of my own self interest, selfishness.

I was...I was the chaos. I was the disruption. Here was this beautiful, interesting, smart girl...and here was me, this man-giant, who could barely hold a conversation without feeling like he was going to have a panic attack. Besides all that, her brother was my fucking best friend. I was his boss.

This was territory that I could not enter, not without a guilty conscience and someone's broken heart. So, I would proceed with caution, although it ended up making me seem like the worst person in the world.

-

I knew I could no longer keep up the act only a few weeks in, all thanks to Whitney Houston and this stupid pink fucking dress.

I watched her parade herself all night, guzzling drinks like they were air, batting her stupidly prim and perfect eyelashes my way. She knew exactly how to get me going- how to lock me in, most of all. And I was playing right into the fucking game, weak signs and Achilles heels all exposed from the second that she stepped out of that hotel room.

When I saw that knowing, vivacious smirk- I knew tonight would be different.

It wasn't until she was passed out, in my bed, with my hoodie on, that I realized I was falling for her. I had been able to subside the hunger that I felt, the hunger I felt to speak to her, to consume her with my eyes, my teeth, my hands, my body- God. It was easy to push all these thoughts away when she wasn't there- but then, she'd show up at breakfast or dinner or in my dreams and thoughts and desperations and I'd spiral again.

It didn't help that I was letting it get to me so much- and she was literally trained in analyzing behavior. I exposed my curiosities with even the slightest dip in my gaze or lift in my shoulders. There was a moment, during breakfast, when she told us of her plans for the evening of one our first shows- that she wasn't coming to.

Max had to go and make a stupid joke when I just barly glanced up from my plate, "Even Ollie's hurt!" I stopped coming to so many social gatherings, at least where she was concerned. And, then, I got all the space I needed when we took off on the buses.

Everyone flocked to her side, wanting even a second of her attention, while I kept to myself on the other bus. Because I thought the guys might leave me alone about it, I could almost reside in absolute peace.

But, then, Ronnie came knocking on my bunk.

It was early morning. We were stopped for gas, somewhere in Northern Italy. The bus was deadly silent, with nothing but my own quiet breath and the hum of the outside world to keep e company. Ronnie came in, bounding, like she always did. She slammed the bus door shut, jarring me from the focus I'd had on the game of Mario Kart pulled up on my Switch. Next thing I knew, she was ripping open the curtain to my bunk.

"Why the fuck are you rotting in here like a mummy? I'm close to wrapping you up in toilet paper and shoving you in with the suitcases!"

I rolled my eyes as she spoke and slouched my shoulders away. The hood of my sweatshirt dipped enough that she was no longer in my view. "Sam needs to stop gassing up your jokes. It's getting to your head."

"You're literally just jealous because your jokes are only ever mean and borderline tone-deaf," Ronnie grabbed the lip of my hood and tugged it down over my face.

I wriggled away from her, Switch dropping towards the inside of the bunk. I shoved her hands away. "Says you, Miss Jimmy Carr."

Ronnie's jaw jutted open a bit, "Now that's fucked, Ollie."

I went to jab back again, but she held up a hand, head tilted like she was a tired, annoyed mother of a band of men babies. "Stop while you're ahead, dude. Back to what I came in to harass you about- you need to come join us! We're playing Mario Kart with peaches- Daisy, sorry. You guys would get along sooo great. I know you're, like, weird about new people, but she's so fucking funny. Please, please just come over, hang out, be chill for once in your life."

Peaches. They had given her a nickname. Peaches, as if she weren't already sweet enough to sour the cuts on my skin.

I huffed and puffed at the rant as I pulled my hood down the back of my head. "First of all, I don't play Mario Kart-"

"I literally hear the music coming from your Switch," Ronnie pointed with a dead stare at the device, muffled humming rumbling from beneath my blanket.

I met her eye, absent any shame of my white lie. I took a breath and dove back into my rejection, "Second of all, why the hell do you guys give out the cringiest, most ridiculous nicknames? Like, peaches?What even is that?"

"It's called joy, magic, and fun, you grinch," Ronnie pinched my elbow. I flinched away from her touch again and she snickered. "If you don't like Daisy, just say so. I won't tell anybody. I'll just resent and judge you in silence- silent words, not punches."

What did she mean, that I didn't like Daisy? I knew I'd been passive towards her, but I never made it so obvious-

The expression on my face must have read confusion or shock because Ronnie popped a hip and crossed her arms.

"Listen," she added, "I know that she probably irks you. I get it. You're the bad boy, dark soul type and she's this ray of fucking sunshine and, yes, peaches. Just- give her a chance before you rain all over her parade."

"I literally never said I had a fucking problem with her. Why does everyone think I hate her guts when I've literally only ever had one conversation with her?" I frustratedly spoke, words rushed together. Ronnie stood back a second, reading the scrunch of my brows, the way I pushed myself up onto my elbows. Then, her offended frown morphed into something knowing, as though bits of information clicked in her head.

"Oh," she rhythmed, grinning now, "I see what's going on here. Hey, she's gorgeous.” "Oh, my God, here we go," I stood from my bunk, now, unwilling to just lay there and listen to her try to evaluate my behavior.

Ronne didn't follow me as I made my way to the back room, "Ollie...just remember who you are. And who she is."

And this sentence alone threw me for the biggest loop.

I didn't even know what she meant by that, but as well I knew Ronnie...it was definitely more than met the eye, deeper than any surface level warning anybody else could give. Not only did I know Ronnie well, but she could read me like a book. She knew what to say to make my skin crawl. Who I am...who Daisy is.

Analyzing the statement from top to bottom, general to specific, it was simple. She was my best friend’s brother. And I was his boss.

It meant more than that, though.

Ronnie meant that Daisy…Daisy was delicate. Daisy was meat, fresh off a shattered bone, and I was a hound.

I was always the hound. The Albatross, even. A winged creature always coming in to swipe shiny things off of stormy shores.

Ronnie didn’t want to harm me with the statement, but she sure as hell wanted to humble me. And that she did.

Each time I found myself aching to find Daisy’s gaze, I’d shrink back into myself. Remember my place. Remember who I was.

And, then…that damn Whitney Houston song. That damn pink dress.

Ronnie knew I was slipping, when I first spotted Daisy, in the doorway of her hotel room, long legs on display. I caught my lips beginning to party, drool beginning to pool in my teeth. This appreciative smirk came upon my face until I met Ronnie’s frown.

And I moved on.

I kept trying to move on, to fly away, leave the gold necklace on the beach for some other lucky, hopeless idiot to clean the sand off of, treasure for the rest of their sorry days.

I paid for her meal, as some sort of reparation for the damage I must’ve done all evening, being the hungry being I was while she toyed with the lock on my cage.

But, I just couldn’t . Especially not when she was running from the bar, sickness visible on her face. I could’ve left it where it was- Max was shuffling after her, ready to help, ready to hold her hair up.

Before I knew it, my feet were racing me out of the door, my hand was on Max’s shoulder, a kind smile was reassuring him that I could handle it, that he could go back to having fun.

My hands were in her hair, my neck was cradling the crown of her head, she was reaching for my wallet, letting us into the hotel room, laying down on my bed. I was giving her my hoodie, placing a bandage on her leg, caressing her fruity skin.

And then…just like that, as quickly as the rain began, like when you can see it in sheets, pounding into the Earth, just there, off in the distance…then it’s splattering on your windshield, the sound jarring you from your tired drive, the blur harming your vision of the road.

It was raining in my hotel room.

I didn’t have an umbrella.

I spent the entire night, laying there on the bed beside her, faced away, tensed up. Every breath she took stopped my heart. Every wrinkle from the white sheets made my eyes blink.

I was spending so much of my thought process trying to remember the taste of her fleeting lips on my own, pressing my fingers to them as though they were stained from her, as though I could close my eyes and taste them, again and again and again.

Then, in the morning, she returned my hoodie. There was this…look…this distant, worried look. Had she remembered? Had she remembered the words I said? Was this going to change anything? Everything? At breakfast, I ignored her persistent eyes, the gaze burning into my soul for answers. When she told us she couldn’t remember anything, I was little relieved.

If she didn’t remember, I could put distance between us, try to forget it myself- try to forget the way her fingers buried themselves into my hair. Try to forget the feel of her nose, pressed into my cheek, her chest, warm against my own.

While I was able to put physical distance between us this week, being that work kept us busy. But, the mental, emotional yards were harder to climb.

Once we made it through the airport, to Italy, I began my practice of celibacy, against the thoughts of her, against us.

I think part of me knew it wouldn’t last. I think part of me didn’t want it to. I think that’s why I was there- in the elevator, headed for the roof, in hopes that I might find her there. I didn’t even know if it was a place she frequented, but my intuition told me it was a good place to look.

And I was right.

I acted shocked when I first saw her, like it didn’t help my blood pump, seeing her, feet in the water, hair curling around her forehead.

She looked so…tense. Stressed. There was this permanent furrow in her brow. Did she really not remember…anything? At all?

Though it was a relief, I wanted to jog her memory (I wanted to kiss her).

I asked Daisy, barely glancing over at her in the seat beside me. From the corner of my eye, I watched her chew upon on her bottom lip, “Not really.”

Why did it feel like a lie?

She must’ve remembered something. Sure, she had been drinking, but…she was smarter than that. “Okay,” I choked, snatching another look at her.

I noticed Daisy turn her chin to return the gaze and I looked back at the city. I couldn’t look into her eyes, look at her face. I’d crumble.

“Is there something I should be remembering?”

It was timid, shy. But bold.

Bolder than I could bring myself to be right now.

Unable to find my own words, unable to form my own lie, I echoed her.

“Okay,” she copied.

The moment swelled in my mind. I wanted- needed her to remember. I wanted her to feel the ache in my bones at the thought of our lips pressed together. Wanted her to feel the longing Maybe then, she’d be the one to break, and I could blame it on her. Make her out to be the bad guy, going after me.

What a fucked up thing to think about.

Before I could catch myself, I blurted, “You don’t remember-“

At the same time, she went to push further on the topic.

I excused myself, motioned for her to continue. But, of course, she let me go instead.

“You don’t remember coming back to the hotel?”

I knew I was confusing her.

“Not really. you’re sure there’s nothing you want to tell me? Something important I should be remembering?” her knuckles, clasped together, were turning white.

I shrugged and pretended to be unaware, “I don’t think so.”

“Why did you tell me to come sit with you?”

She really knew how to make a guy question his own thought patterns. It would make her a really great therapist- but it just made me want to run.

To hide. To slip away from this disruption in my damaged peace.

I sighed, thoughtful, though still unsure, “I don’t know. Thought it would be nice. Like when we were in London-“

“Like when we were in London and you proceeded to pretend like we never did this? Like when we were in London and you kept interrupting me, so I couldn’t tell everyone we had been up on the roof together?”

So, she was pissed.

I knew she would be. She acted like she didn’t care, but I saw through the disguise. It reminded me of me.

I shrugged, putting on the same play, “Like that.”

I guess that was the comment that sent her off the edge, though. She was too guarded, too respectful of herself to take the bullshit I pushed. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

That wasn’t it for me. I needed to know what she knew. She obviously remembered more than she was letting on.

I slid into the elevator behind her, “Daisy-“

I swear to God, the rhythm of her breathing palpitated when I said her name-

“I need you to be honest with me. What do you remember?”

“Oh, cause you’re such a conscientious person yourself?”

I pulled at my hair, stressfully, “I really don’t think we’re on the same page right now, Daisy. Please, if we could just talk about this, if you could just tell me what you remember-“

Gears seemed to click in her brain. Something I said, the way I moved, the flash of the stars in her eyes, something had triggered a memory in her head. Something suddenly made sense.

I tried to help, though I was probably just being an asshole. “I want to figure this out, okay?”

I wanted to figure her out.

Whatever clicked was- it fucked things up.

“Oliver,” she frowned, “I can’t play this game with you.”

Game?

What game?

I was only ever playing defense- keeping to myself, keeping her away from my heart, trying to maintain distance. She had kissed me- I was the one to turn her away.

My shoulders fell, “What game? Daisy…I’m confused!”

“So am I, Oliver!”

Fuck. The way she said my name-

“I’m- you’re fucking with my head!”

Like she wasn’t fucking with mine?!

I went back to my original question, hoping to continue digging there, instead of worrying about this new hole she was unburying, “What do you remember?”

“It doesn’t matter, Oliver! I just don’t want to do this with you. Max is right. I should listen to him.” What the fuck did Max say? Why was he involving himself in this? How did he even know about- us- when we didn’t even- what?

What was happening?

“I’m not doing this with you.”

The doors opened, and she was leaving me. In her dust. In the swell of her words.

I retreated back to my room, throat tight, chest contracting for any gulp breath I could get. I fell back against the door like there were bullet holes bleeding out of my chest. I wanted to just...be honest. To be honest with her. Tell her what I really thought, what really happened, how I felt about her.

It wasn't the boundaries holding me back now. All my senses of morality and respect for our situation were dead. It was me. I was the iceberg. I was the gun.

I found my way to the bed, lay there like an empty casket. Dead, hollow, shards of wood. Why was I so afraid of her?

Maybe she'd be good for me...better than the last relationship I had, that much I could already tell. But, maybe she didn't want me for that.

Maybe she wanted to scalp me for my money, for my fame, dish out the gossip to the tabloids. Maybe she wanted to love me.

Maybe I deserved something good. Maybe I deserved to take a risk on something. Maybe I needed to. I was outside her door, before I was really conscious to my own movements, knocking, waiting. For barely a second.

She was opening the door, standing there in this barren light like an angel.

"Daisy."

I was kissing her.

Whatever she wanted, whatever she needed, whatever cruel fate she may prophesize or goodness she may expose to my paled skin- I didn't care.

Because she was kissing me.

-

I hadn’t been with someone for over a year.

That was what was so jarring about the entire situation.

It made me cautious, held me back. I’d been on a dating ban since I switched to my new therapist, who wanted me to focus on myself more than I always did on another person.

And for a while, it was going well.

Until Daisy disrupted that.

I knew, for as long as she was alive, breathing my air, I just could never be alone.

Usually, when I dated someone, when I was with them…I still felt that loneliness because I would give so much. And that person never returned it.

Daisy did, by a tenfold. She was…present. She so easily showed up, made time for me, chased me down when I went into those bouts of self isolation.

It was difficult to let her in…to let her join me in the dark.

But she made it feel less lonely. She made me feel…whole.

I started going to breakfast more often, started including myself in the group activities. Not only did she make me feel less alone, but she made me feel like I needed human connection.

“It’s warm, isn’t it?”

I scoffed at my therapist’s words, so simple for something so complex. “Warm. It’s hot. I feel like I’m on fire.”

“Good. Burn,” she responded. “You’re in the light now, Oliver. How do you feel about it?”

“Wow, what a question,” I teased.

Dr. Grime sighed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest. The movement was delayed, due to the time zone different, the laggy wifi in the hotel room. “Seriously, Oliver. Is it…do you feel like you want to snuff it out?”

“Of course I do,” I shuffled on my bed, “you know me. Something good comes and I feel like I don’t deserve it. But…I think it might be okay if I hang around in this for a while.”

“I think so, too,” she smiled. “I like how your language has changed, too. You’d tell me, ‘I don’t deserve this.” Now you say, you feel like you don’t deserve it. You’re recognizing rational thoughts from emotional ones. That’s very important. I’m proud of you.”

I offered a strained smile in response, uncomfortable with her praise. It was appreciated, though, and gave me body a sense of accomplishment.

Maybe I was getting better.

“So, this Daisy,” she leaned forward, more intrigued with the personal aspect of my love life, like some maternal figure.

I chuckled, shaking my head approvingly, “Daisy.”

“Do you…love her?” Dr. Grime poked.

I blushed, deeply, but quickly shoved the thought away, “Oh, no. No way. I…I barely know her. That’s- that’s crazy. Definitely not. No.”

My phone dinged in rhythm with the end of my sentence. It was her.

Daisy: soon as sam goes to bed, i can be over

My eyes lingered on the text, more concerned with this situation now than the accusatory, knowing tone of my therapist’s words.

“Mm,” she paused, “no, of course. So, is this just…a casual summer fling for you? A way to get over everything this, figure out what it is you want out of a relationship? It’s important to have something like this, a stable ground to work up off of for the future, considering you don’t have a great idea as to what love should be like.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, toying with my phone. I stared at the message, reading and rereading the message again and again.

What…was this.

What was this to me?

What was this…to her?

We’d established some boundaries, mostly that I couldn’t really commit to anything to serious. And she said that had been okay.

Was I still okay with that?

Was that still what I wanted?

I was so obviously falling in love with her, but I would never tell anybody that.

Especially not her.

But it didn’t matter if I loved her- did I want her that way? Did I want this to last past the summer?

I did.

And that’s what scared me the most.

Loving her beyond the swept up dream we were caught in, back home, domestically. Loving her casually, routinely, in the kitchen back in my apartment, through school, sharing plants and bath towels.

I wanted that.

I wanted her…her ends and odds.

I lied, “No. I don’t want that right now. Got tour going on, new album soon. You know. Busy.”

Long after therapy ended, I stared at the message. The sun had set, the day had died…and I just couldn’t think of anything to say.

I think if I were to be around her right now, I might blurt out some passionate, mindless thing that I couldn’t bring us back from.

I needed to do…what I always did. Be alone. Ruminate in my thoughts in the darkness of a foreign hotel room in a strange city. All alone.

This felt…easier. Comfortable. What I was good at.

Yeah…this was easier.

The next day, I couldn’t stay from her any longer.

I needed her and she was needed that, too- however we could get each other.

So I pushed aside the feelings I had for her- put up all my walls and boundaries, and took her into my arms-

We would have this summer, even if it killed us.

–

"Hiya, Ollie, dear!"

My mother's voice was a sweet symphonic sound to my tired ears. We were in near opposite time zones, hundreds of miles apart, and I missed her more than anything. Touring usually took everything out of me and she was the one, separate, stable person I could turn to.

We'd only called once or twice the past few months due to my obsessed perversions with a certain best friend's sibling who had been taking up all of my time- not that I was complaining about who.

It was only recently that my mom and I had established such good rapport. Since I was young, she'd struggled to wrap her head around my career choices. Now that I was fully devoted to the act, and quite successful, she pushed aside her disagreement with it and chose to just keep supporting me.

Though I couldn't always answer, her calls were welcome.

"Hi, mum," I sat up in the hotel bed, my back sighing in gratitude at the change in posiiton. i had been rotting in here for a few hours, a little bored since Daisy was out with her friend. I could've went and hung with the guys, but I honestly needed some time to myself. That time was starting to really feel like loneliness, though. I guess before I met Daisy, they were empty hours full of empty feelings. Now, I was waking up to the reality of my existence. I'd made it so dull.

"Are you in Paris yet? Or are you still travelling?"

"We made it a few days ago," I replied. “Show’s tomorrow."

"Oh, I love Paris," she remarked. I could hear her lovely grin through the tone of her words. "I remember when we went there on a school holiday. My favorite part was the Eiffel Tower. It's so big. Now, I hear that it sparkles. You'll have to take a photo for me."

"Sure, mum."

"Have you gotten out much or are you holing up in your hotel room?"

Sheepishly, I scratched my neck. My response was delayed a bit; we both knew the answer. “Uh...I’m getting out there. Ya know, hanging out.”

“Ugh, Ollie,” I could nearly hear the roll of her eyes through the phone. “You know need a lady friend. Someone to drag you out of your bed. I mean, how many times do you get to see Paris. And get paid for it!”

At the mention of a ‘lady friend,’ I blushed. I hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her about Daisy, and damn did I want to. Though we weren’t even officially together. I didn’t know how to explain that to my mom, so maybe I’d just shy away from the topic, talk about something else.

But I guess my lapse of silent thinking made her think that there already was a lady friend.

“Oh?” she questioned with a cheerful lace to her tone. I didn’t say anything, my brain was unable to come up with anything in response. Acting defensive always made people think the opposite of what I said. Should I just tell her? Get it out of the way? Let her lecture me about my poor choices.

“Well, I won’t badger you. When you're ready,” she was already responding.

I was surprised that she was going to leave it there, to say the least, which only furthered my sentence. She usually pushed until I gave her some semblance of the truth. As she was getting older, I’d realized she gotten more relaxed and didn’t push as much as she used to. I think it was partially due to the guilt she felt for everything between us growing up.

So, I just went to move the subject along when she jumped back on it, “Just- please don’t tell me it’s that Fiona girl. I’m so sorry if it is. I just can’t sit around and watch you be treated so poorly by someone so...so awful. Again. Her personality is just- wow. Though, I shouldn’t be surprised. I went to school with her mum, and she was awful towards me. Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree-”

I had to stop her while she was ahead. I guess some things never really, truly changed. "Mum, please! I’m not seeing Fiona again, I promise. I’m not...”

I wasn’t offended that she thought I was. It was just...more or so shocking. Shocking that she thought I’d put myself back in that. I had, a handful of times before. But...I was different now.

I guess she hadn't been around me these past few months, but I had truly changed. This past May’s Oliver very well could’ve let Fiona waltz back into his life. But July’s Oliver? He would’ve been hesitant.

And, even more so- Daisy’s Oliver...Daisy’s Oliver was a changing man. Daisy’s Oliver was a better man.

And I wanted to tell my mum that, I decided. She needed to know- it would ease her mind, along with my own. I know she was always worried for me. So, I told her-

“No, I’m seeing someone else. Her name...her name’s Daisy,” that felt good to admit, to put into the Universe, that I was seeing her, and she was seeing me, even if there were no labels attached.

“Daisy?” she perked up at the name. “That’s a pretty name. What’s she look like? You got any pictures you can text me?”

I realized quickly that I didn’t. In the near two months that we had been sleeping together, consuming one another’s souls, we hadn’t taken a single picture. It was probably for the best, just in case they somehow fell into the wrong hands. But- there were so many moments I could’ve- should’ve- captured. Moments of Daisy, hair whipping past her face on the roof, the lights of Italy glowing behind her like she had angelic wings. Daisy, in my hotel room, in the early morning before she had to sneak away. Tired eyes and an even more exhausted smile as she laughed at something stupid, I’d done in my sleep.

I wanted one. I wanted a picture of her, a picture of us, whatever I could get.

For now, all I had was my memories to help me describe her to my mum. It was easy to do so, considering she was etched into the very nerves in my mind.

“No, I don’t,” I breathed out, “but she’s beautiful. She’s got this-this- God, I can’t even describe her to you. Her hair’s darker, like yours. She’s got these brown eyes. Shorter than me, of course. You can always tell it’s her, though, just by the way she carries herself. She’s got this energy. You’d just have to see it to believe it.”

“She sounds amazing, Ollie,” she sighed distantly then giggled, “Well, if she’s so pretty, where are the pictures? I need to see her! Need to see what this talk is all about.”

I chuckled in response, “I know, I know. I suck.”

“It’s alright. I’m sure it’s difficult, with you on tour and her...what does she do, exactly? Where is she from? Would I know her?”

Here came the long winded, shameful explanation of everything between Daisy and me. The feelings that weren’t feelings, the girl who wasn’t mine, the upset sea tumultuous between us. Her brother. Sam.

I tried my best, “Well, she’s working towards her counseling license. So, she goes back to school in the fall. But right now, she’s on tour with us. Her brother works- um...Sam’s her brother. She just wanted to do some traveling before getting tied down for the next few years.”

“Sam? Sam Hatlett? She's his little sister?” There was a bit of shock in her tone now like I imagined there would be. Sam was like a brother to me, and mum knew that. In fact, she loved Sam. She always had.

When she first met him, she’d pulled him under her wing like a mother bird, like she could just feel that he needed her. So, to imagine that I might go after his little sister is rightfully shocking. It was close to home.

“I know, I know. Again, I suck,” I laughed, though I felt so tense. Rubbing my neck didn’t ease the tension in my skin.

“You don't suck, darling. It’s just a precarious situation, I’m sure. How does Sam feel about it all? Was he weird when you first started dating Daisy?”

When I first began to tell my mum about Daisy, I doubted whether or not I wanted to be completely honest. But I easily fell into the comfortability of her warm conversation and realized I could not bend the truth. Not only did she deserve to know it, but she needed to. I knew, too, that she wasn’t going to judge me, tell me I was making a bad decision. It took three times with Fiona for her to begin voicing her opinion.

Above all, I didn't need to jump through any hoops to win her approval. I didn’t have to play a role, fill a part. I was me. And she loved that man.

I realized, subconsciously, that this was how I felt about Daisy, too. Comfortable. Easy.

Loved.

I explained things to my mom, carefully, making sure she knew of the endless boundaries Daisy always ensured we had and the sweet, delicate moments that made everything worth it. I nearly fell into myself, swept up in the reminiscent beauty of it all. God, I missed her, even if it had been only two days since I’d seen her. Her friend Sasha was in town and took up all her time.

I didn’t know what I was expecting my mom to say, so I held my breath after I finished saying, “But, I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s just a summer thing or what. We’re both kinda in weird positions, so we’re not too worried about that, I guess. We’re just...having fun, ya know?”

As the insecurity rose up my throat and choked me out, I sighed out the rest of the air I had in me and added, “We’re not, like, in love or anything.”

I hadn’t expected her to laugh, that’s for sure.

But she laughed. My mum giggled, like things were well and truly hilarious, like I had just told her a joke. I waited there in silence, waiting for her to make fun of me for being so stupid as to let this situation occur. Laugh at me for being terrible at love and life. There goes Oliver again, breaking hearts, getting his heart broken. He can’t even be in a stable relationship! Laugh, laugh, laugh.

She said, “You are crazy, Ollie,” but it wasn’t meant in a harsh manner.

It wasn’t condescending, it wasn’t mean. She wasn’t making fun of me. She was...she was laughing because it was funny.

“You are usually so good at going after things. I mean, look at you with your music, darling. I said no, how many times? I insisted you do something, anything else. I never supported you financially. I never...I never supported you. I was the odds you were testing yourself against and looking at you now! I mean,” her voice cracked. A sniffle followed. My muscles eased from the discomfort I felt into something that wanted to reach for her through the phone, hug her.

“I know your father and I didn’t give you the best example for love. I know we weren’t some movie star-couple that everyone always knew would last forever. We fought. We weren’t there for you when we should have been. Your father left you. And then I held all these stupid expectations up to you, to try to make you better. And you! You’re successful!”

“And I give you all the credit for that. You are...my pride and joy, Ollie. My life. I am so proud of you, darling. But it breaks my heart, still, that you have not been able to find happiness. That you must spend so much time repairing what I broke. We cannot blame everybody else- you can...you can blame me, Ollie. I know I am to blame. And that is okay.”

“So, forgive me for laughing, forgive me for calling you crazy and stupid and wild, darling, but- it's right in front of your face, Ollie! She’s right there in front of you. Daisy. Darling, if you’re still questioning what love is, what it’s supposed to feel like...please let me knock some sense into you! You are wasting so much precious time on believing that it can only leave. It doesn’t have to stay for long for it to be important. If she leaves at the end of the summer, you will regret not telling her.”

I didn’t have to ask her what she meant; what she knew I’d regret not saying. I knew it, I knew it as well as I knew Daisy’s face, even more clear in my memory now.

“You can beat around the bush some more if you’d like, or you can carry on with this facade you’re so deeply transfixed by. Darling, I know it’s hard to let the chaos subside, to let the goodness in, but as I am getting older, I am realizing that it is bright. It is...comfortable. It is good. You deserve to have a lifetime of that. Don’t waste any more time, Ollie. Please tell her, please let her tell you. Please just...hold what you have.”

I had borne a hole into the wall, but snapped out of my still position when I felt a tear roll down the side of my nose. “H-how? How do I tell her?”

“However you need to,” she chuckled lightly. “Although, here’s a hint, Ollie: you are in the City of Love. Take advantage.”

I knew our call was ending and didn’t know when we’d get to speak again. So, like she had told, I took advantage of the moment and I held what I had; “Mum, just so you know,” my voice came out as a whisper, a gentle patter of rain on the roof.

“Yes, Ollie?” she whispered, too, like there was a gentle card deck stacked between us. I think maybe there was- I think there was always some sort of tension lingering from the harsh moments we’d beat into each other; the fighting, the leaving, the crying. I don’t think she ever felt like I’d forgiven her, as if I really needed to. She had been growing up, too, after all.

“I love you, you know that?”

“I know, baby,” I felt relieved that there was a smile in her tone, “now, go. You have some more dreams to chase down. And, Ollie?” “Yeah?”

“Get some pictures for me.”

-

I was lucky that, the next day, everyone was busy with their own plans on opposite sides of the city. So Daisy and I were able to spend some time together, outside of this drywall prison. I was a pretty good listener, too, and remembered all the spots Daisy had gushed about seeing in the little time we’d had together these past few weeks. I was being given the perfect setup to do what I needed to do: we were going to be alone, in the most romantic city on planet Earth. I could finally tell her how I felt.

Of course, so much of me shook with anxiety. What if- she didn’t feel the same way? She didn’t want to risk it? She didn’t want to commit to someone this close to school? Let alone someone who lived across the world from her? These weren't my only fears. There were so many revolving around my career that I could’ve drowned beneath their weight.

Yet, each time I looked at her, I was anchored to her shoes. I couldn’t drift out to sea. I was grounded. Though my fears about how she would react sank, it took another amount of effort to get the words out.

I could’ve done it right away, gotten it out there, cleared the air, so we could enjoy each other even more. That would’ve been the best way: I would've gotten answers, started the day out on the right foot. But, when we got out onto the streets, I was swept up in the busy buzz of the crowds. It was loud in the cafe we grabbed breakfast at, loud on the sidewalks, overly crowded by the river. We finally found a place to sit, breakfast sandwiches and drinks in hand. Though there were still throngs of people all around us. So what good was the City of Love when it was full of ignorant tourists?

The anxiety of what I wanted to do was making me feel grumpy. I shut down a little bit, unable to really engage in much conversation, let alone tell her how I felt. I think it just looked like exhaustion to Daisy, so she didn’t really notice. I did- I was hyperaware of every short sentence, every avoided gaze. All of these people are going to be standing here when I tell her. They’re going to watch her reject me and they’re going to know. They're going to know I’m not good enough. She’s going to walk away from me, leave me stranded in the park, alone with my own rejection and denial. I’m not good enough I’m not good enough.

I thought about what my therapist would tell me, ways to snap myself out of this maladaptive pattern of behavior. My brain lies, she always said. It makes things up, creates false realities based off things others have said to me, or moments of true insecurity rooted in no sense of truth.

Daisy would want me, even if I wasn’t good enough. That was the one assurance I could tell myself to shake off the weary thoughts.

And if she didn’t- well, I don’t think thinking about that was going to help me very much. So, when we got back into the hustle and bustle, shopping around the city, visiting the sights, I opened myself back up.

I didn't know if I’d ever find the confidence. I was on the precipice again, after lunch, when I began spewing cheesy pet names as a sublimation for the words I needed to say. It shocked her at first, hearing such sweet things coming from me. And that stung a little. Was I that monstrous towards her that simple affections made her brows shoot up? Was I that bad? I repeated them once, twice, just so she really knew I meant it.

The day went on and on and I cowered in on myself even more. There were plenty more ample moments, but I just kept letting the clock tick down. I knew we were running out of precious time. If I didn’t tell her now, we would go straight back to secret moments in a hotel room, balancing on a tightrope, pretending like the moment the leaves changed color, we wouldn't be losing each other. I just knew Daisy wanted that about as much as I did.

Just when I was giving up hope, I found my moment, finally. Just after we had stopped to view the Eiffel Tower, some street side scam artist grabbed some pictures of us and was trying to convince me to spend $200 on the copies. At first, I brushed it off, until I caught a small peak at the images on his camera. Before he could spout another line, I was giving him $100. He gave me three photos.

Where my words may fail, these pictures couldn’t. You wouldn’t have to know Daisy and I personally to well and truly and see how infatuated we were with each other. I wasn’t even worried anymore that she wouldn’t want me. I was worried she wouldn’t want the risk, the jump, the caution of a fall.

These would be to convince her to leap. These had to be.

I stopped us outside the hotel, knowing if once we stepped inside, our memories might as well be cleared of the day's events. We would be going back to normalcy, to the real world. Our friends would be waiting there, we would allow the gap between us to grow. I would swallow my words and choke on them.

“I love you,” I pictured myself saying. “I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you, I love you in London, you in Paris, you at home. I love you from the hotel rooms we’ve indented to the streets we’ve wandered. I love you in the plane, on the bus, in every inch of this world.”

But it just wouldn’t come out.

I tried to encourage myself by thinking of who I was just a year ago. By thinking of how I was a year ago, the person I was dating, the situation I was caught up in. Fiona, the endless hours of fighting, of begging. Crying, screaming, the blood sport we played. Hunter and prey, me the victim and yet the one wielding the sword. I thought of Daisy when I first met her. The scent of her in my nostrils, like a clue that I was to hunt for as long as I could run. Of her in my teeth, when I first caught up to her incessant running. The satisfaction I felt, how disgusting that was. How horrible it was that I loved the taste of her blood on my lips.

And how much better I could breathe knowing that I had let go, that I had put my claws away and instead threaded a needle to stitch her skin close. How beautful that was- the beast retracting, the mask falling away. A true creature coming to light, renewed and willing.

Tears welled in my eyes. The words were there, finally, waiting just atop my tongue. She was leaning closer, clutching my hand, clutching those photos like a rosary, like she would sacrifice herself for me. I would, too. I would I would I would I would.

I think I hesitated a moment too soon, or I think she could tell what was happening. I think tha- that, I think that she was running again.

I think she wanted me to chase her or to stop, or she was placing traps in the woods, waiting for the wolf with a bow in arrow.

Because she was pulling away. And our friends were calling our names.

I didn’t have time to think, wrapped up in the swell of the arrival of our friends.

But I felt the death of the moment. It was heavy. It was rotten.

Later, I sat alone in my dressing room before the show, the photo I had kept between my fingers. I swear I could hear her breath, echoing from inside the paper frame of us. Swear I could feel her hands on my arms, grasping as though the wind would take us away from each other. Her lips on my cold ones, warm and fueling like a kindled fire.

I wondered if she threw the photos away. If she stared at them, with resentment. If she wanted to burn them.

Yet, I could’ve lived and died in that moment if I had to. If I was never able to tell her how I really felt about her, I’d be content to waste away, hanging on her lips like a vine, rotting from indecision and cowardice.

Eventually, Sam poked his head in to let me know it was time to go on. I flinched when he first spoke. It drew me back to reality in harsh, cold lighting. I drew the photo from my face, met his eye, and nodded.

I was lucky he didn’t ask any questions about my reserved response, though I knew he was aware that I was getting into character as this vessel. Part of me wished he had asked, though, if only to have someone to share the darkness with again, if even for just a second. And maybe outing Daisy and I to Sam would force me to tell her everything. Force some sort of decision to fall from the loitering hammer that hung above us.

Sam left. I set the photo down on the counter, not even thinking straight enough to put it away somewhere. Then, I hung the mask on my face, edges of my eyes darkened, just like my mind.

Part of me wished I didn’t even have to perform tonight. Every time I put on this disguise, I was reminded of those dark parts of me, the parts of me that were too much like this creature the costume made into. When I’d first come up with the character, I felt so strongly that I was just like Vessel- nothing but a pit of black, music transporting through me like some god had planted it there. I hadn’t been aware of my very real feelings. I just sat there, in that emptiness.

Things were different now.

Maybe I just needed a break from it all, from the costumes and the concerts and Daisy. Well, not Daisy. Not her. Just...everything involving her.

But never her. I just wanted her always, everywhere.

I didn’t get to have that, though, the break nor Daisy.

In fact, all I got was a slap in the face. When I went on stage, I spotted Daisy in the audience. For a split second, there was a lift in my heart, a fire in my bones. She was here. She hadn’t pulled away- she wanted me. She wanted me.

Then, as the lights flickered, I noticed the look of guilt on her face and the hand around her waist, She was here...with someone else.

I felt myself retracting, cocooning, not for growth, not for birth into something good, something with fluttering wings...but into that moth. Into that darkness.

Into that vessel.

In my fury, I laid claim to Daisy in all the wrong ways. I held her by the throat and let her dangle from my lips, reminded her how desparate she was for me, reminded her just how much she relied on my game. It had never been and never would be our game. I was the villain. I was the hunter.

She was my prey.

I was losing hope for my own reconciliation, for my own change. Maybe I would just always be detached, dark, monstrous. Maybe I would never be able to commit, to give in, to be someone’s something.

Maybe I was just this vessel, and maybe this vessel was just me.

Maybe I was never good enough for Daisy, but just enough to satisfy her furious need for that bad. And that was enough for me.

-

Things got worse when Fiona started blowing up my phone.

I wasn’t sure how she had gotten my number. I had changed it back in March, when I’d ended- really ended- things with her. And, with my career, it wasn’t like I’d just handed my number out to any person on the street. I had, maybe, ten contacts on my phone.

Daisy was one of the few I responded to.

But, somehow, someway, Fiona had gotten hold of my number and began blowing my phone up with messages. I blocked her the minute I noticed, after a show when I had time to get on my phone. Then, a few days later, she started messaging from a different number.

They were innocent claims- she kept saying I had left things at her flat and needed to come pick them up. But I knew her better than that. She was trying to use this to weasel back into my head, my heart. She’d convince me to come pick everything up and then, when I was there, she’d start crying. Start saying how much she loved and needed me. She’d convince her into her bed, and we’d start spiraling down into that same old waltz we both knew too well.

After I blocked this contact, I guess she evolved. She started using an unknown number, so I couldn’t even block the contact. I called my manager immediately and told him I needed to get a new phone number. Apparently, all the stores around us were closed for a few days, which just so happened to be my fucking luck. But he promised to get something for as soon as possible.

In the meantime, I just had to ignore her.

So, I booked a last-minute therapy appointment.

I glossed over everything with my doctor, telling myself that things with Daisy were hopeless. She obviously thought me to be disposable. I mean, I had watched how quickly she’d pulled away, how quickly she found another empty face in the crowd.

I didn’t want to admit that shameful situation to my doctor. I didn’t want her to know I’d let myself fall again.

Instead, we talked about Fiona, about the temptress knocking on my door. My doctor kept reminding me to, “Stay strong. Know your worth.”

Easy words for someone in a healthy, happy marriage.

All it would take was one more wrong look from Daisy and one wrong text from Fiona, and I’d end up back off the cliff.

So, I clung to the guys. Daisy had been...not so distant but detached. Cautious. She was taking the lead, so I followed. We still hung out, still fucked like we had been doing. Still had these meaningful, deep conversations that made me wonder, over and over, what the fuck was going through her head. But honestly, I now spent some of that extra time with Max, Cy, Adam, or Sam. We were due to begin working on the next album and I had plenty of ideas floating around in my head.

It was peaceful, quaint. Something I’d missed. Maybe I wouldn’t be ready to start dating again if something like this caused me so much stress.

Adam was texting me now, wondering if I wanted to hang out sometime this morning, talk about the album. I told him I’d let him know what time, considering Daisy was in my bed. And Fiona was blowing my phone up like fucking crazy.

The whole situation threw me off. She wasn’t really concerned about it, but made numerous, passive jokes about me having a secret girlfriend. I don’t know if it was because she really, truly wanted me to be exclusive to her, or if it was just something to do with her pride.

Signals were still mixed, even after we’d had a conversation about how committed we were to each other. Part of me wondered if it had just been an act, her agreement to never see anybody else, her admittance that she was, “mine.” If it had just been something brewed from the heat of the moment. But, when I answered the phone, set it back on the nightstand, I swear to God I saw something in her eyes shift, like she had been bothered at the thought of me with someone else.

Or it would be shitty in general if I was seeing someone else.

I weighed telling her, every single, how I felt about her. I don’t know that if I told her I loved her it would change anything. I had all but done so, and she still was unmoving. She still had gone and found that faceless nobody in the crowd.

Today, I felt like maybe I should. Tell her.

As soon as she had left, someone knocked on my door. I didn’t think it was Daisy, considering Sam would be waking up soon and she needed to get back into bed. When I looked through the peephole, Adam was there, staring over his shoulder sort of strangely.

“Hey, dude,” I started as I opened the door, then turned to make my way over to the bed where my book bag was. I reached in for my notebook, continuing, “so, I’ve got a few good ideas rattling around-” probably a few too many about Daisy, “that I wanna show ya.”

He slowly entered the room, shutting the door softly behind him, “Yeah, uh...” he approached me sort of hesitantly, distant confusion in his pupils, “I think we...should talk about something first.” He didn’t seem too sure of himself and the words he was saying were cautious. So, my tone slowed, hardened “What-what’s up?”

He finally met my eye and I felt like a sword had been shoved down my throat, “I just talked to Daisy...out in the hallway.”

I set my book bag down, hands having been frozen around the straps like someone cursed me into the stoic, icy position. All I could think to say was, “Oh.”

Adam nodded half-heartedly, “Yeah. Oh. I... don’t know what to say, really. I knew you guys had been...like, it was obvious. To me and I think Max, at least. Sam is kinda clueless and, he and Ronnie are totally sleeping with each other.”

Well, that was obvious. So obvious that I could have snorted, but I was too focused on the wild realization that everyone basically knew. All of that sneaking around, trying to be secretive- well, it didn’t fucking matter. And it didn’t seem like it really mattered that much.

“Are you gonna, like, scold me or something?’ I sat on the edge of my bed, running a wary hand through my hair.

“No, I’m gonna tell you that you’re fucking stupid.”

“What?” I looked up from the ground, shock widening my eyes.

Adam finally softened his expression and chortled, though it was short before he was in on me again, “You’re stupid, Ollie. I don’t think you’re doing it on purpose. I think you’re just...Fiona fucked you up. And I’ve watched you slowly start to heal over these past few months. Daisy has everything to do with that. And...she fucking loves you, dude. She thinks the world of you. And you’ve both, I guess, been dancing this dance with each other, walking around the whole thing. I just told her, like- stop thinking less of yourselves. You both deserve something good. You’re both worthy of each other. So, stop being fucking stupid and just tell her.”

My face was hot. I clenched my hands together, knuckles turning white as all these rampant, loose feelings released in my chest, in my head. “She doesn’t love me.” Adam chuckled again, “That’s a bold fucking statement. She just told me herself how much she adores me.”

“Well, yeah, she likes me, that’s obvious,” I waved him off, “she wouldn’t be sleeping with me if she didn’t. But...I think I’ve made it clear so many times how much I want her. And she, just, doesn’t care. Or she turns away.”

“She’s scared!” Adam exclaimed, making me flinch just slightly. “Sorry,” he spoke quieter, like he had shocked himself with his tone of voice. “She’s scared, Ollie. She’s...she doesn’t know who she is. That’s why she came here. That’s why she pulls away, why she seems unsure.”

“Well, I know that,” I scoffed, “I know her better than anyone. You haven’t seen the way she...how she denies it. I know she denies it. She denies us- me.”

“Okay, tell me,” Adam nearly popped a hip at this, a sassy tone overtaking his authoritative one. “Tell me how she denies, what she says and does that makes you think she doesn’t want you. Tell me that she doesn’t love you.”

I thought, long and hard. I could've mentioned the very recent time when she had been dancing with another guy, at our concert, a prowling look in her eyes. Or, of the time when I was on the brink of telling her how I felt, then she pulled away. Or-

Wait.

Am I fucking stupid?

I’m so fucking stupid. I am the dumbest, stupidest idiotic idiot to have ever existed.

It was all right there, clearing up now like I was wearing new glasses. I had a new perspective- I had an unbiased, outsider’s view of the world I had been suffocating in. And Adam’s view was- a breath of fresh air.

I was so obviously the one turning away from her.

From the beginning, I’d been denying her, us, for fear that she wouldn’t want me that way. For fear that someone would find out, for fear that I might die if she ever looked away from me. And I’ve been covering it up with the excuse that I was broken, or hurting, or-or...worthless.

I knew differently. I’d known it differently for a while now but had been unable to act upon this rationality. I was too emotional, too, in my head. And that made me seem manipulative, and asshole-ish, and- fucking stupid.

Adam watched me carefully, watched me as I processed these past few months. My eyes were narrowed, confused, though they widened as the information unfolded in my mind, as the notches clicked together.

“You’re…right.”

Instead of worrying myself with the evidence that she, too, was afraid, I felt my head flood with memories, as tangent on my skin as the cool air of my hotel room. Memories of her devotion, her promise, her love. Memories of us in the stale morning, sharing stories of her mother and that little apartment back in America. Memories of us on the roof, atop the world, atop the feeling, a private sanctuary where even just the flash of her eyes should have told me everything that I needed to know. I was going to tell her I felt the same. I was going to pull her up to the roof, one of our most sacred secrets, and pour everything out onto the barren concrete between us. And I knew she would say that she loved me, too.

It was delicate and I would have to handle it as such. Any sudden movement, and we’d be falling apart, all over again.

But, then Max was bombarding my hotel room, spewing some nonsense about Daisy and Ronnie getting tattoos. He was dragging us to Sam’s hotel room. I was practicing the lines in my head, over and over, a prayer.

Daisy was looking at me with these doe-innocent eyes, like she, too, was praying to some old god. Altering herself for a breath that he may resurrect what was dying between us even now.

I found more words, new words- lyrics, pummeling my skull in wondrous discovery. It was right there- everything was- My phone wouldn’t fucking stop ringing and I thought that I might explode into atoms. I ignored the call, watching as Daisy’s face fell each and every time that it did. She well and truly thought that I was seeing someone else.

Enough was enough.

I took a step towards her, fully intent on putting a rest to the strangeness and awakening what was already there. But, then my phone rang again.

And Sam began making some joke about Fiona calling me, a knowing, devious smirk on his features. He didn’t know- how could he know? I couldn’t be upset with him, but I wanted to strangle him into the carpet.

But I couldn’t focus on that anger for too long-

Because Daisy was leaving like we both always left, one too many times, in one too many silent glares of this something that we just may never get right.

The delicate threads of us bent and snapped.

[ramblingoak]

The Cardinal's Bride, Chapter 6: The Newlywed Game

~~ Please visit The Outlaw Brides Masterpost to catch up and read more stories from this world ~~

Thank you to @tasty-ribz for the wanted poster!  Lots of other amazing people have done fanart of Cowboy Copia so please go check it out: @meowsaidmissy (1 / 2), @snail-shell2335  here, @vahvco here, @ghulehgwen here, @rabidghoul here, @nocterish here, @enjoy-my-swearing​ here, @blacktie-whitenoise (1 /2) and from valkyrieinpink on twitter.  Also a huge thank you to @kissingghouls for aggressively holding my hand and letting me scream at her about cowboys.

Cardinal Copia x Female Reader: alternative universe, slow burn romance, blood, eventual smut, NSFW, 18+ only MDNI, 9,100 words for this one 

“He’s going to beat the shit outta me.”

“Stop being so dramatic and just do it.”

Swiss groaned but took a few steps towards where Copia and Princess were before stopping and spinning around. 

“Why did you put her in my shirt again?”

“I am so tired of being around all you dense assholes.”  Sunshine grabbed Swiss’s shoulders and spun him back around.  “For the last time, the boss just needs a small push.  A little jealousy will do the trick.”

“Yeah, but you remember how badly he reacted in Denver though, right?”  

“Yes, I do.”  She shoved Swiss forward, laughing as he stumbled and nearly fell to his knees.

“Which you deserved by the way.”

“Ok, fair.”  Swiss straightened up and adjusted his hat before looking over his shoulder at her.  “You’ll make sure he doesn’t kill me, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Very reassuring.  Fuck, ok. You owe me.”  

Sunshine just gave him a thumbs up and watched as he wandered over to the pair.  She jumped when Mountain cleared his throat behind her. 

“What are you up to?”

“I’m helping love blossom here, Mountain.  Take some notes.”

“Isn’t that what you said in Denver?” 

“I said a lot of things in Denver.”

“Yeah and a lot of those were being said behind the bars of a cell too weren’t they?”

Sunshine turned and hissed at him, but jerked back around when Copia started shouting.  She triumphantly raised her fists when Copia slammed his forehead into Swiss’s nose, laughing when both him and Swiss quickly fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs. 

“It worked!  Take that you loveless assholes.”

Mountain shook his head, sighing as he jogged after Aether and Rain who were already running to break it up.

“What’d you do now?”  Dewdrop hadn’t moved from his spot on the ground, laying back with his hat covering his face.  “And don’t say ‘making love blossom’.”

“Dewdrop, someday you’re gonna fall in love and not know what to do about it.”

“That’s possible.”  He pulled his hat off to glare at her. “I sure as shit won’t come to you for advice though.”

Sunshine ignored him, focusing back on the fight. When she saw Aether take an elbow to the face she winced. He was gonna bitch at her about that later. She groaned when Mountain had to drag Copia away and Princess just watched him go. When the tall Ghoul let Copia go he shouted at Rain and then headed straight to the horses. The girl watched him go for a moment before turning and going over to Swiss.

“Satan’s dick.”  She ignored Dewdrop’s cackle of ‘I told you so’ and kicked some dirt at him. “Fucking Denver all over again.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

“Is this completely necessary?”

Copia groaned behind you, muttering something in Italian under his breath.

“Principessa, we’ve been over this.  You need to be able to protect yourself.”  When you turned your head to respond he placed a finger over your lips.  “There’s not always going to be a frying pan handy.”

“I seem to remember causing you some damage without a frying pan.”

“Ehh those were lucky shots.”  You narrowed your eyes, throwing an elbow back to dig into his gut.�� Copia managed to jerk back in time and you just smiled innocently when he glared at you.  “Si, si fine.  You’re very dangerous.  Now pay attention.”

When he came up behind you again and fitted against your back you let out a slow breath.  This was actually what you were talking about, the closeness.  Not that you minded all that much.  You liked having him close, you weren’t afraid to admit that to yourself anymore.  Even when he still teased you relentlessly to the point your face was as red as his duster.

Even when he still desperately needed a bath.  

His touches just seemed more intimate now, like they had more purpose.  You had felt on edge since his comment that morning.  Every time you caught his eyes it felt like your heart skipped a beat and like there were butterflies swirling in your stomach.  Then when everyone stopped for lunch he decided it would be the perfect time to teach you how to shoot a gun.  He had seemed far more concerned with teasing you than actually talking about shooting.

The sound of raised voices at camp caught your attention and you glanced over to see Sunshine and Swiss arguing about something.  The two Ghouls had been acting odd all morning, whispering to each other while they traveled at the back of the group.  You had asked Mountain if he knew what was going on but he just recommended that you ignore them.  To be honest you had hoped Sunshine would ride near you that day.  You needed a distraction from the gathering clouds ahead of you.

“Having a nice day dream?”  You startled at Copia’s voice in your ear, turning to glare at him.  He just chuckled and reached around to adjust your fingers on the gun again.  “Thinking about anyone in particular?”

“Copia what are we going to do during the storm?”

“Principessa, stop worrying, everything will be fine.”  He squeezed your shoulder and you nodded, trying to put a brave face on.  “Rain’s going to ride ahead and we’ll find somewhere to wait it out.”

“Of course, you’re right.  I’m sorry.”  You felt a little embarrassed bringing the storm up, it seemed like such a silly thing to be scared of.  Especially considering everything else that had happened to you recently.  Not to mention the company of wanted outlaws you were currently traveling with.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize, ok?”  Copia placed a few fingers under your chin and turned your head to face him.  He was close enough that you could see the freckles on his face.  Close enough you watched his eyes trail from your own down to your lips.  A throat being cleared snapped you both out of what was going on and Copia groaned before turning to who had interrupted…whatever was about to happen.

“Is there something you needed, Swiss?”

“Nope, just wanted to see if you needed any help.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, the look on his face making you think something was going on.  When you glanced behind him towards camp Sunshine and Mountain were looking your way.  Something was definitely going on.  Copia tightened his grip on your hip briefly before he addressed Swiss again.

“Does it look like I need help?”

Swiss glanced at you, looking you up and down and you couldn’t help but blush.  Copia hadn’t moved from where he was pressed against your back.  He dropped the hand covering yours on the revolver and placed it on your shoulder.

“Eh, not really, but we both know I’m the better shot so maybe it’s best if I teach her.”

There had to be something wrong with you that Copia’s growling made your heart beat faster.  He took a step away from you and you immediately missed the heat of his body.  With the clouds rolling in the air had cooled quite a bit and you found yourself longing for the heavy layers of your dress.  Although having Copia so close to you wasn’t bad either.  

“The better shot?  Remind me, Swiss, who was it that couldn’t take out a single one of Saltarian’s men last month?”

“Aww that’s not fair Cardinal, my rifle jammed.”  Swiss smiled and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Besides I don’t remember you taking out very many either.”

“Si, because I was too busy hanging onto the side of the train trying not to get shot by them.”

“Well it worked out in the end didn’t it?  We got the money.”

Copia said something in Italian and you watched as Swiss’s eyes widened for a moment before he held his hands up and took a few steps back.  

“Alright, alright!  I’m sorry, just trying to help the Princess out.”  His eyes moved over to you and he shot you a wink before they roamed over you briefly once more.  “My shirt looks good on you by the way.”

Your mouth fell open at his comment and you glanced back over to where Sunshine was still watching you closely.  There was no doubt in your mind she had planned this all along.  After a few moments when Copia hadn’t said anything you glanced his way and found yourself wanting to take a step back.  The look on his face rivaled the steely glare he always had in his wanted posters and it was directed solely on the Ghoul in front of him.

“Mi scusi?”  He took a threatening step towards Swiss, but the Ghoul held his ground.  His smirk had definitely wavered a bit though.  “Care to repeat that?”

“Uh you know, just noticed she was wearing my shirt.”  Swiss was starting to look more nervous, coughing to clear his throat.

“Is she now?”  Copia stepped directly in front of Swiss and grabbed a handful of his jacket.  “Say it again.”

“Look boss, it was just a complement!”  Swiss’s hands came up to grip Copia’s wrist and tried to pull him off, but the man didn’t budge.  Their argument had attracted everyone else’s attention and you could see Aether slowly start to wander over while Sunshine had a hand over her mouth trying to hide a smile.

“Say.  It.  Again.”

“She looks good in my shir–ow fuck!”

Copia had slammed his forehead against Swiss’s nose, blood instantly pouring out of it.  It didn’t slow the Ghoul down though, he wrapped an arm around Copia’s neck and brought his other fist into his stomach.  Copia coughed out something in Italian, you assumed a curse word, and kicked at Swiss’s knee.  At that point Swiss lost his balance and fell over, dragging Copia with him.

They both landed in the dirt right next to you and you yelped, jumping back to try and get out of the way.  Both men continued to grapple with each other in the dirt, rolling around back and forth as they both tried to get the upper hand.  Aether, Mountain and Rain had rushed over, with the taller Ghoul positioning himself in front of you.  When you glanced up at him he smiled and muttered ‘just in case’.

More shouts and groans brought your attention back to the two men on the ground, their fighting not having even slowed down.  You could barely tell who was who anymore, both of them covered in dirt and blood.  When Swiss was able to roll over and get on top of Copia Aether reached out and grabbed him trying to pull him off.  Swiss had chosen that moment to pull his arm back to throw a punch and his elbow ended up slamming into Aether’s face.

“Shit!”  Aether fell back onto the ground, one hand covering his mouth.  “Goddammit Swiss!”

“Oh fuck, Aether I’m sor–unholy shit, Copia!”

In the brief moment Swiss had been distracted with Aether, Copia had managed to free himself from under the Ghoul.  He flipped the man onto his back and drove an elbow into Swiss’s crotch.  Your hands flew to your mouth as Swiss cried out, clutching himself and rolling away from The Cardinal. You glanced back towards camp but Sunshine was too busy doubling over and laughing to bother with the fight.

Copia got to his feet and looked about ready to go at Swiss again, but Mountain took a step forward and grabbed him.  His long arms wrapped around the smaller man’s waist and dragged him away, Copia kicking and shouting the entire time.  You tentatively took a few steps forward towards Swiss and rested them on his shoulders.  He looked up at you, a big smile on his face despite the blood still coming out of his nose.  Swiss managed to wink at you despite an already swelling eye and you sighed as you took the rest of the damage in.

Cowboys were strange. 

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~   

The one good thing about the rain was that it was hiding your tears.

Copia and Rain had left shortly after the fight to scout ahead.  You weren’t sure what was going through his head at the moment.  He refused to let you look at the reopened cut above his eye after you helped Swiss’s nose stop bleeding.  It wasn’t like you were encouraging the attention Swiss was giving you.  Sunshine seemed to be the one doing that and whenever you tried to ask her about it she’d just smirk and ignore you.

But all that was hours ago.  It hadn’t been long before the storm clouds had finally rolled in.  At first it was just sheets of rain but it quickly became nearly impossible to see with how heavy it was falling.  The thunder and lightning began to make riding anywhere dangerous so Aether had led the group to a small patch of trees to try and stay out of the wind.

Everyone was miserable, including the horses.  Yours seemed especially restless as the storm got worse.  Every time the lightning flashed it was startling and attempting to move around and away from the others.  It was at this point that you had started crying.  You were scared, soaking wet and quickly tiring of trying to keep your horse under control.  For the first time in days you found yourself wishing you were home in Missouri.  

That thought only made you cry harder.

You didn’t even notice when Copia and Rain came back.  It didn’t help that your horse had wandered away from the group a bit and no matter what you did you couldn’t get it to turn back.  Right when you were about to just get off the damn thing and walk over a bolt of lightning struck nearby, the thunder cracking loudly overhead.  You cried out when your horse reared up but an arm quickly grasped you around your waist and pulled you off.

“Easy girl, easy.  I’ve got you.” 

Copia yanked off his duster and draped it over you, carefully tucking you under it and out of the rain.  You wanted to tell him it didn’t matter since you were already soaked to the bone but the simple action made you feel so safe you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.  Instead you wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned into his chest as you sat sideways in front of him.

You held on tighter when you felt Brizio start to move, your ear pressed right over Copia’s heart.  The steady thump was reassuring against your ear and you focused on that to try and relax.  When a hand reached under the coat and grabbed one of yours you looked up, peeking briefly out from under his duster.  He flashed you a smile and then leaned in close, his lips brushing against your forehead as he spoke.

“We found someplace to stay tonight, don’t worry.”  He squeezed your hand before dropping it and you instantly missed the feel of the leather against your skin.

The brief press of his lips against your forehead definitely made up for the loss of his hand though.    

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Mountain and Aether quickly got the old barn door open, everyone hurrying inside out of the rain.  Copia slid off of Brizio and then helped you down. As you looked around you didn’t see any animals besides the horses you had brought with you.  The barn was mostly full of old looking equipment and assorted furniture.  You jumped a bit when Rain walked from behind you, patting you on the shoulder as he went by.

“Might want to start getting comfortable, Princess.”

You gave him a brief smile and nodded then started to pull your arms out of Copia’s duster.  It was heavy with water so you tried to shake it out a few times before hanging it on a nearby pole.  A chill immediately settled into your skin and you shivered.  All the blankets everyone had with them would be soaked as well and you worried your bottom lip between your teeth.  You weren’t looking forward to sleeping in wet clothes on hay, but it was definitely better than being outside.

Aether and Mountain had busied themselves with spreading supplies out to help them dry and you started to walk towards them to help before the barn door opened again. An older man and woman rushed in, both of them holding a stack of what looked like blankets.

“Look at all of you!  Soaked to the bone!”  The woman dropped her pile on the ground and then grabbed the stack from the man with her, piling those on top of the others.  The man wandered over to where Copia was talking with Dewdrop and Rain so you took a few steps toward the woman to help her.

“Oh!  I didn’t realize you had a lady with you.”  You offered her a small smile when she walked up to you with her hands held out and you quickly wiped yours off before placing them in hers.  “My name is Ethel and that’s my husband Harold.  Now, we can’t have a pretty thing like you stuck in this old barn with all of these dirty cowboys.”

You had to bite your lip to keep your laugh in when you heard Sunshine’s ‘hey!’.  Dewdrop couldn’t stop his own laughter though and you promptly heard him grunt, probably from a smack on the head by the Ghoulette.  You focused back on the woman and shook your head.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind.  These are my friends.”  Honestly though, the thought of sleeping in a barn wasn’t incredibly appealing.  Especially with how the storm continued to get worse.  

“No, no I insist.  You’ll stay in the house with Harold and I.  We have plenty of room.  Harold!”  

There was no way to stop the smile from breaking out on your face while you watched Ethel wander over to where her husband was talking with Copia.  A bed!  The thought of sleeping in an actual bed after so many days of sleeping on the ground was amazing.  You bounced on your heels a few times, watching as Ethel and Copia laughed at something before they both turned and headed back your way.

“You see?  That’s settled then.”  Ethel reached up and patted your cheek before grabbing some of the blankets she brought with her.  “Let’s get everyone as comfortable as possible and then we’ll get you two settled inside.”

You froze at her last comment, shooting Copia a look when he cleared his throat.  He was busy getting Brizio’s saddle off and you walked over to him after Ethel went to help spread the blankets out.

“Copia, what does she mean by that?”

“Eh?  By what?”

You narrowed your eyes, following him when he pulled the saddle off his horse and went to set it down.

“She said ‘you two’.  Why did she say that?”  When Copia turned and started back towards Brizio you reached out and grabbed his arm.  He looked down at your hand for a moment and then back up to your face with a raised eyebrow.  “Don’t give me that look, what did she mean?”

When he started to walk away once more you couldn’t help but give his arm a vicious pinch through his shirt.  He hissed between his teeth, pulling his arm away and glaring at you.  

“Watch it, Principessa.”  Copia caught your hand when you reached out to give him another pinch, keeping a firm grip when you tried to pull it away.  “I thought you’d be happier at getting to sleep inside the house.” 

“Trust me I am, but why does it sound like you’re coming too?”  

Before he could answer you heard footsteps behind you and you turned your head to see Ethel’s kind face.

“You two remind me of Harold and I when we were younger.  That man couldn’t keep his hands off of me.”  She smiled and gave you a quick wink.  “Still can’t some days.”

Copia tugged you closer and then slid an arm around your shoulders.  Your mind was so busy trying to process what was happening that you didn’t even protest, easily fitting against his side.

“Well Ethel, who could blame him?  Especially marrying a woman as beautiful as yourself.”

Ethel blushed, giggling as she smoothed her hands over the gray hair pinned up on her head.

“Oh you are trouble, Mr. Emeritus.”  She looked at you and gave you another wink.  “I hope you keep a close eye on him, my dear.”

She didn’t wait for you to answer and made her way over to the door of the barn.  You took the opportunity to look up at Copia, studying his face for a moment.  He was biting his bottom lip like he was trying to hold in laughter so you couldn’t help but pinch his side.

“Copia what the fu–,”  Your angry whisper was cut off by Ethel’s voice, but what she said finally gave you the answer Copia had refused to.

“Alright, time for the newlyweds to follow me!”

Your head whipped around, your eyes wide and your mouth open as you looked at her.  Did she say newlyweds?  You quickly looked back at Copia who was looking down at you with that smug smile he used so much.

Copia started walking towards the door, pulling you along with him.  Your mind was going a mile a minute trying to absorb what was happening.  He grabbed his duster from where you had hung it, shaking it out before putting it on.  You were tucked back against his side when he was done and he held his arm above your head to be ready to block as much rain as possible.

“Shall we?”

Newlyweds?

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

As soon as you got inside the farmhouse Ethel was on the move.

She practically tore Copia’s duster off of him, making him take off his leather jacket as well.  Once she had those she swiftly hung them on a hook by the door to dry and then immediately pointed at your shoes.  Copia’s thumped heavily against the floor, the spurs jingling as they went.  Your own shoes were a bit of a struggle and you were a little afraid they’d just fall apart as soon as you took them off.  They were not meant for the life of an outlaw.

“Mr. Emeritus, your wife needs better shoes than these if she’s going to be traveling with you.”  She tsked at the state of them when she took them from you and Copia muttered an apology under his breath.  “You’re lucky because I think she and I are about the same size.  I have plenty of old things we can set her up with.”

“Ethel, thank you, but I couldn’t possibly accept anything.  Especially after you let us stay in your home.”

“Nonsense, we all need to look out for each other in the west.”  She smiled at you both, her hands clasped together.  “Besides I only ever had boys so it’ll be nice to find some use for my old things.”

She quickly spun around, waving for you both to follow as she disappeared down the hall that led out from the main room.  You found yourself distracted as you walked through her home.  It was so unlike where you had grown up.  That house had felt cold and uninviting, but here every small nook and corner felt full of warmth and love.  Knick knacks and mismatched furniture were tucked in everywhere and there were lots of paintings on the walls.  

This place was an actual home.

“Now I know you two are probably tired from your journey so I’ll let you settle in while I gather some things for you.”  She stopped in front of the last door at the end of the hallway, opening it and ushering you both inside.  “There’s already fresh water in the basin so feel free to get some of the dirt from the road off.  I’m going to grab some dry things for you to wear for the night until we can get your own things cleaned up.”

Copia turned and was speaking quietly to Ethel, but you couldn’t focus on what they were saying.  As the woman went on about her plans all you could focus on was the room itself.  It was small, not that you had expected anything grand.  It was decorated much like the rest of her home and for a brief moment you fantasized about having a bedroom like this, in a home like this.  Some place where you could be yourself and not have to worry about following any unspoken rules.  

But then you saw the bed.

The small bed.  The bed you and Copia would have to share.  Together.  Because this sweet woman thought you were married.  

“I know the bed is a little small for two, but I’m sure you’ll make do.”

“No need to worry Ethel, my wife here is a cuddler.”  You gritted your teeth as they both laughed behind you.  “Isn’t that right, Polpettina?”

You know what, two could play this game.  You put the fake smile you always used back in Missouri and spun around.

“Can you blame me, Ethel?  With how handsome he is?”

Ethel actually giggled, looking up at Copia’s face because she clearly agreed with your statement.  When you glanced at Copia you expected an irritated look, maybe narrowed eyes.  Instead what you saw on his face nearly made you cry out in triumph.

He was blushing.  

“Alright, let me leave you two alone for a moment and I'll be right back.”  

She walked forward and patted you on the cheek, winking briefly and giving you a small smile before turning and walking from the room.  You instantly narrowed your eyes at Copia as he groaned and stretched his arms out.  The blush was gone already and was replaced by his usual smug look.

“What does ‘Polpettina’ mean?”  Copia ignored you and walked towards the bed, taking his hat off and hanging it on one of the posts.  “Well?”

He shrugged, keeping his back to you as he pressed his hands down into the mattress.  You watched as he climbed onto the bed and leaned back against the pillows, his eyes landing on you.  

“Just an endearment.”

“What, like ‘Principessa’?”

The smirk on his face told you that it absolutely was not like ‘Principessa’ so you crossed your arms and glared at him.

“It’s just something fun to call my darling wife.”

You sighed and turned to look around the room again.  Maybe you could ask for some extra blankets and then make some sort of nest on the floor.  The bed was too small to share, definitely too small to share with Copia.  Your cheeks were heating just thinking about it.  You froze when you heard him let out a quick whistle and turned to glare at him.  He had somehow reclined even more and was patting the empty spot next to him with a grin on his face.

“There is no way I’m sharing a bed with you.”

“Why not?  We’re married now.”

“We are most certainly not married and I never agreed to pretend to be married to you to begin with!”

It was Copia’s turn to roll his eyes and he turned so that he was on his side with his head propped up on his hand.

“I thought you’d be more excited.”  

“Are you pouting?”

“You know there are a lot of girls out there that would kill to be in your spot right now.”

“Oh like the girl in Denver?”

“What’s the matter, eh?  Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“What do you mean ‘what I wanted?’”

You knew by the smirk on his face you weren’t gonna like what he said next. 

“You’re the one that’s been dreaming about me, Principessa.”  He got up from the bed and sauntered over to you. “I would think pretending to be married to The Cardinal would be, what do they say, ’a dream come true?’  Besides, I didn’t want to leave you all alone in this house.”

Wait, what?

“Why not?”

“Eh, I figured they’d be asking a lot of questions.  Thought it would be best if I was here to help.”

“Help with what?  I can answer a few questions.”

Copia groaned and took a few steps back to sit on the bed again.

“It can be tough to think on your feet.  To keep your story straight.”

“And since I’m a stupid, naive city girl I wouldn’t be able to handle it?”

“Look, I had to think fast when she mentioned she was bringing you up to the house.”  Copia ran his hand through his hair and sighed.  “It’s not like you have experience lying, Principessa.”

“You really have a warped idea of what my life was like, don’t you?”  It took all of your self control not to close the distance between you and punch him in the nose.  “I lied all the time back home.”

“What could you possibly need to lie about?”

“Everything!”  You took a deep breath to try and calm your breathing before you continued.  “If I told my father or mother how I really felt about things or what I was really doing in my spare time they would’ve locked me away in my room all day.”

“What were you doing in your spare time eh, Principessa?”  Copia leaned back on the bed with a smirk on his face.  “Staring at wanted posters and fantasizing about spending the night with The Cardinal?”

“Just because yours was the only poster you found doesn’t mean yours was the only poster I had.” 

The look on his face was priceless, but your smirk dropped when he stood up and closed the distance between you.

“Is that so?  Well who else were you looking at while you had your hand under your nightgo–merda!”  

Copia groaned and fell back onto the bed when your knee connected with his crotch.  He gritted his teeth, glaring at you for a moment before he jumped up and reached for you.  Right as he yanked you against his chest there was a knock on the door and Ethel poked her head in.

“Oh!  I’m sorry to interrupt.”  She stepped in, her arms full of what looked like clothes and blankets.  “See I knew you two would want some time alone.”

You laughed, pushing away from Copia as roughly as you thought you could get away with to take some of the things out of her hands.

“Thank you, Ethel.”  

“Of course, dear.”  She dropped her pile onto the bed and then turned to smile at you and Copia.  “You too really are just so sweet with each other, it’s wonderful to see.”

Copia chuckled and you stiffened when he walked up behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders.

“Thank you, signora.”  He squeezed your shoulders and you glanced up at him, sighing when you saw that smirk of his.  “I just can’t help myself, look at how beautiful she is.  I knew I had to snatch her up.”    

The bottom fell out of your stomach at his words.  Once again someone was treating you like a pretty decoration.  Like a doll.  You had told him this before, that day at the creek.  That you hated being treated like this.  Even if he was just saying this for Ethel’s sake it still hurt.  It still felt like every other time you had been reduced to nothing of worth by everyone around you.

You were so tired of it.

“Well how about we let your lovely wife get changed and you go out with Harold to bring some more things to your friends before the storm picks up again.”  Ethel picked up one of the pieces of clothing she had set on the bed and held it out.  “I know it’s not very fashionable, but here’s an old nightgown of mine you can wear tonight dear.”

“Thank you for everything, Ethel.”  You tried to give her a convincing smile as you stepped away from Copia, walking over towards the bed and sitting down.  Copia was giving you an odd look and you did your best to ignore it, silently willing him to leave the room so you could try and collect yourself.

“Alright, Mr. Emeritus, let me give you some more things and then you can head out with Harold.”  She patted Copia on the arm and started walking towards the door, turning at the last moment to give you another warm smile.  “Then you two can have the room to yourselves.”

You looked down at the nightgown in your lap and traced your finger along the embroidery stitched into the collar.  After a moment you looked up and met Copia’s mismatched eyes.

“I can’t wait.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

“I’m not going to bite you know?  Not unless you want me to.”

You continued to ignore him, taking the pillow and quilt and placing them on the floor.  Hopefully Ethel didn’t waltz in again anytime soon, you weren’t sure how you were going to explain this.

“I’ll sleep over the covers and keep my hands to myself.”

“I don’t care what you do as long as you do it away from me.”

“You know if anyone should be worried about hands it’s me.” 

You turned around and glared at him, the bastard had come back from checking on his friends and immediately laughed at your borrowed nightgown.  The white fabric covered you from your neck down.  The only things exposed were your hands and feet.  After he was done laughing he had promptly started taking his clothes off and you had yelped and turned away while he changed.  You didn’t need to see his face to know he had been smirking at you the whole time.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Maybe you start dreaming about me, eh?  Maybe your hands start wandering…”  You heard his footsteps get closer to you.  “I mean, not that I’d mind, but still.  What if Ethel hears us?”

You growled, turning and shoving him away. He fell back onto the bed with a laugh.  

“Just stay on the bed and I’ll stay down here.”

Copia sighed and blew out the candles on the small table nearby.  The only light left to illuminate the room were the occasional flashes of lightning.  Ethel was right, it was picking up again and seemed to be worse than it was earlier.  You grabbed the quilt off the end of the bed and lowered yourself onto the floor.  As you tried to settle and get comfortable your back already began to protest the hard wood beneath you.  Somehow it was less comfortable than it was outside on the ground.

“Let’s be serious now.  I’m sorry for teasing you.”  Lightning flashed and it reflected against his eyes, the white one gleaming briefly.  “I promise to be a gentleman.”

You snorted and turned your back to him.

“It’s either you or me, dear.”

“What are you even mad about, eh?  I thought th–”

“You thought that a dumb city girl like me wouldn’t be able to handle herself.”  When Copia didn’t say anything you kept going.  “I should actually thank you for reminding me, I forgot that all I’m good for is decoration.”  

“Principessa, that’s not what I mea–”

“No, you know what?  I don’t want to hear it.  I don’t want to hear anything from you right now.”  You hoped he didn’t notice how your voice was trembling.  The lightning was flashing so much now the room was nearly continuously bathed in light so you took a deep breath and glanced over your shoulder at the bed.  Copia was looking right at you so you gritted your teeth to keep your gaze steady as you looked back.  “Goodnight, Cardinal.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

If Copia had fallen asleep you weren’t sure, but you hadn’t been able to sleep a wink so far.

The whole house seemed to shake with each rumble of thunder.  It might not have bothered you so much if you had been in the bed, but on the floor it was a constant vibration.  You had thrown the quilt over your head to try and at least block the lightning out, but you could still see flashes through the fabric.  

You should have just ignored Copia’s teasing and slept on the bed.  It’s not like you hadn’t been close to him before.  You’d been practically in his lap numerous times now while on his horse.  Just that morning he had his arms around you while showing you how to shoot.  Not to mention the moment when he arrived back in camp after Mary’s ambush…

An echoing boom rattled the window and you couldn’t hold back a gasp.  The desire to cry was growing and you didn’t even know what the main reason for it was.  Once again you felt overwhelmed with emotions, most of which you couldn’t even explain.  A few tears slipped down your cheeks and you sniffled.  You took a few deep breaths to try and calm down, but the thunder was as relentless as your racing thoughts.

“Principessa?”  The bed creaked and you heard footsteps next to you followed by a hand on your shoulder.  “Hey, you under there?”

You snorted and pulled the quilt off, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to notice your tears.

“I’m fine, you should go back to sleep.”  Please don’t.

“Hard to sleep when my wife is on the floor crying.”

You groaned and tried to put the blanket back over your head, but he wouldn’t let you.  Instead he threw it off to the side leaving you laying in front of him in your borrowed nightgown.

“Copia!  What are you doing?”  The only answer you got was his arms sliding under you and a grunt as he lifted you up.  “Put me down!  Put me down right now!”

“Okie dokie.”  A squeak left you as he dropped you onto the bed and you glared up at him when he shushed you.  “You better be quiet, Ethel seems like the type to tease if she hears too much noise in here.”

“I hate you.”

Copia snorted, reaching down to grab the pillow and quilt from the floor.  When he turned he dropped them onto you and then shoved you further towards the wall.  

“Come on, make room.  Should’ve known a city girl like you would hog the bed.”

You huffed but moved over, crawling under the covers.  Copia stretched out next to you, on top like he had promised.  He had his eyes closed already with his hands resting on his stomach.  The lightning was still flashing enough that you could study his face, your eyes tracing his features in the sporadic light.  When he didn’t move for a while you assumed he had fallen asleep so you burrowed deeper into the bed and closed your eyes.  

“You know you’re more than that don’t you Principessa?  To me?”

His words washed over you and the tears you had been fighting started to well again.  You took a deep breath before opening your eyes to look at him.  

“More than what?”

He sighed and opened his own to look up at the ceiling.  A moment later he stretched his hand out towards you, palm up and waiting.  You stared at it for a moment before pulling one of yours out from under the covers and sliding it into his.  He closed his fingers over your hand and pulled it over to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss into your palm before finally looking at you.

“A decoration.”  You smiled at him and squeezed his hand in a silent thank you.  “You’re much too loud for that anyway.”

You groaned and yanked your hand away, ignoring his laughter.  The damn cowboy just couldn’t help himself could he?  But despite his teasing you did find yourself feeling better and you decided to take his words as the apology he meant them to be.  When you looked at him again he was watching you, a small smile on his face.  You meant to return it, but a yawn suddenly overtook you and you heard him laugh again.

“I think it’s time for the city girl to get some sleep, eh?”

“Wait, there’s something I wanted to ask you.  What does ‘Polpettina’ mean?”  When he bit his lip, trying to stop his smile from getting wider you immediately became suspicious.  “Copia.”

“Little meatball.”

“Are you serious?!”  When he snorted you growled and reached over to pinch his side.  “You’re horrible.”

“I thought it would be a good nickname for you.”

“A nickname for what?”

“If you stuck around.  You can’t be an outlaw without a nickname.” You hoped he didn't notice your blush.  The fact that he was thinking of that made you feel…you weren’t even sure. “How about ‘Patatina’?”

“What does that mean?”

“Little potato.”

He flinched away when you kicked him, but you saw his smile when lightning flashed again.  

“A potato isn’t very threatening.”

“Ah, this is true.  Let’s see, what else could we call you?”  Copia mumbled a few things under his breath before speaking again.  “Mostriciattola.”

“I don't want to know.”

“Little monster.”  Copia yelped when you pinched his arm, grabbing your hands when you tried to do it again.  “You’re very picky for an outlaw.”

“Maybe I’ll stick with Principessa.”  You yawned again, your eyes finally getting heavy despite the storm raging outside and the feelings Copia was stirring in you.  There was only a sliver of space between you both and you could feel the heat radiating from his body. You felt him rustle around as sleep began to claim you, your eyes closed and your breath evening out.  There was a ghost of a touch along your cheek and you felt him tucking some of your hair behind your ear as he spoke again.

“Si, I think I will too.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~       

You woke up slowly, the sun hitting your face and warming your skin. 

At first you thought you were back at home in Missouri.  It felt so strange to be in a bed after spending so many days sleeping on the cold, hard ground.  You kept your eyes shut and let your mind drift back to your dream.  Once again you and Copia had been laying in a field of wildflowers, your arms wrapped around him and your head on his chest.  You sighed and snuggled back into the warmth surrounding you, ready to fall back asleep.

“Did you know that you snore?”

Copia’s voice startled you so badly you nearly let out a scream.  Your eyes flew open and you pushed back against the body you had been wrapped around, against Copia’s body.  When you looked up at his face he just gave you a lazy smile.

“What did you do?”

“Me?  Principessa, I didn’t do anything except lay here innocently trying to sleep.”  He turned on his side and gave you another smile.  “As I predicted you were the one who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.”

“Why didn’t you push me away?!”

“Eh, seemed kind of rude.”  He reached over, poking your nose before you could bat his hand away.  “Plus you look so cute when you’re asleep.”

You groaned and buried your face into your pillow. He was never going to let you forget this. 

“I must say though I am curious about something.”  You turned your head so you could look at him, narrowing your eyes when you saw his wide smile.

“What?”

“What were you dreaming about?  The things you were whispering, well…”  You continued to stare at him, dreading what he was going to say next. “They even made me blush.  Are all Missouri girls like this?”

He let out a yelp when you kicked him and then a few curses when you ripped the blankets away and crawled over him to get out of the bed.  You tripped over the nightgown, stumbling and falling to your knees.  The bed creaked behind you and you felt his hands slide around your waist to help you up, but you jerked away from him.  

“What is the damned problem, eh?”

You finally got to your feet and spun around to jab a finger into his chest.

“The problem is you won’t stop teasing me!”

“Oh but I like seeing you get all riled up.”  Copia grabbed your hand and entwined his fingers with yours.  “Your face gets red, kind of like when I make you blush, but all over.”

“You do not make me blush!”

“There are also these little wrinkles right here.”  Copia reached out and poked right between your eyebrows. You tried to bat his hand away with your free one but he just grabbed that one too.  “They only appear when you’re mad.”  

He moved even closer to you and you held your breath. 

“You also clench your little hands into fists.”  Copia brought both of your hands up to his mouth and gave each a kiss on the back.  “Like all you can think about is punching me in the nose.”  

“I’m thinking of doing that right now so if you do—“. 

A brisk knock on the door interrupted you, Ethel calling out as she opened it. You attempted to take a step back from Copia, but he let go of one of your hands and slid his arm around your waist to tug you against his chest.  When you looked up at his face to ask what he was doing you were met with his lips pressing into yours.

“Oh!  I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt!”  

Copia chuckled as he pulled away, you didn’t need to open your eyes to know he was grinning.  Honestly you couldn’t even remember closing your eyes.

“No need to apologize, signora.  Mia Polpettina just can’t help herself in the morning.”

You gritted your teeth at the sound of their laughter, finally opening your eyes to see Ethel pouring some more water in the basin on the dresser nearby.  She had a handful of clothes in her arms as well, walking over to place those on the bed when she was done pouring.

“Well I have some breakfast set out, but Harold had to go check on some things outside.  There was some damage from the storm.”    

“Ethel, I'd be happy to give your husband a hand.”  Copia turned so he had your back against his chest, both of his arms wrapped around your waist.  “Let me get dressed and give this one a proper goodbye and I’ll be right out.”

“Mr. Emeritus, that is so kind of you, thank you.”  Ethel gave you both a warm smile before gesturing to the clothes she had left.  “I’ve got your things from last night cleaned up and dry, but I put a few old things of mine for you dear.  They should fit much better than those clothes you were wearing last night.”

You smiled at her and gave her a quiet thank you.  The kiss had you so flustered you didn’t really trust your voice at the moment.  Ethel gave you and Copia a wink before she turned and left the room as quickly as she came in.

“Well Polpettina, would you like to help your husband undress?”

Copia grunted when your elbow connected with his stomach and you shoved yourself away from him.  You could just strangle him; he was so infuriating!  Once more you found yourself jabbing your finger into his chest.

“Don’t ever do that again.”

“Mi dispiace, but I could’ve sworn you’ve been wanting a kiss from The Cardinal.”

“Right now the only thing I want from you is for you to leave.”  Copia rolled his eyes and wandered over to the pile of clothes to grab his pants.  You whipped around when he started to pull off the pants he borrowed from Harold to sleep in.  “Besides, if that kiss was supposed to impress me you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.  That wasn’t much of a kiss.”  Copia didn’t respond so you walked over to the basin, wetting a cloth to wipe your face with.  “You like to mock those city boys of mine but they have much better kissing skills than the cowboys I’ve met.”

“Oh been kissing a lot of cowboys have you?”

His voice sounded a little closer but you kept your back to him and continued talking.

“Just the one, but that was more than enough.  Unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Well, maybe I could give one of the Ghouls a try.”  You smirked and turned around.  “I bet Swiss wou—“

“You bet Swiss would do what?”

Copia had snuck up right behind you so when you turned around you nearly smacked into his chest. His eyes were dark as they looked down at you and you attempted to take a step to the side to walk around him. He shot an arm out and rested it on the dresser behind you, blocking you in. 

“Quit that.”  You tried to move his arm but it didn’t budge.  “Fine!  I bet Swiss would be more than happy to kiss me.”

Copia didn’t say a word, he just moved his hands to your waist and then lifted you onto the dresser. You couldn’t help but squeak as he plopped you down, his hands resting on either side of your legs so you couldn’t move away.  Your knees were pressed against his thighs as he got as close as he could to you, leaning his head down so your eyes were level.  You took a nervous breath before you managed to speak.

“What are you doing?”

“I have a reputation to uphold Principessa.”

You opened your mouth to tell him off again, but the look in his eyes kept you silent.  They were dark and intense as they stared into yours.  He hadn’t reapplied the makeup after the rain had washed it away and it made looking at his face this close seem even more intimate.  Your body was starting to react to his closeness and you took a trembling breath when you realized why.

You wanted him to kiss you again. 

Your heart was racing wildly in your chest as you watched him, waiting for him to do something.  You slid your tongue out and wet your lips while you glanced at his own and that seemed to be the invitation he was waiting for. His mouth descended on you, a warm pressure that immediately stole your breath away.  Your trembling hands came up to grip his biceps and you clung to them as his lips moved against yours.

When he brought one of his warm hands to your cheek you couldn’t help but whimper and that seemed to egg him on.  He slid his hand further back into your hair and tilted your head up a bit so the angle was better.  His other hand moved to your thigh, running up until it was at your hip.  His thumb rubbed circles over your hip bone and your mouth fell open in a gasp.

Instead of stopping he captured your mouth again and swept his tongue inside.  You whimpered, trying to copy his movements, tentatively touching your tongue to his.  Copia groaned at the contact and pushed closer, your knees spreading to accommodate him. You moved your hands from his arms to his chest, one hand gripping his shirt and the other you let rest where the collar was open.

His skin was warm under your hand and his chest hair was coarse against your fingers as you tangled them in it.  The noise he made went straight to your core and you whimpered again into his mouth.  You felt dizzy with desire, with longing.  You never thought you’d be here actually kissing The Cardinal, kissing Copia, the man you had fantasized about for so long.

This was so much better than anything you had ever imagined.    

You weren’t sure how long you had been kissing at that point, but slowly Copia started to pull away.  He gave you a few final swipes inside your mouth with his tongue before he stopped and leaned his forehead against yours.  You both panted into each other's mouths for a moment, neither of you able to speak.  His hand left your hair and joined the other at your hip, both moving to rest on either side of your thighs.  It was Copia that finally spoke first.

“How was that Principessa?”

You took a few more deep breaths, trying to collect your thoughts. 

“Better.”

Copia smirked, but for some reason there wasn’t the usual smugness behind it. His lips were swollen so you could only imagine what yours looked like. You brought a hand up to your mouth and touched shaking fingers to your lips.  His eyes were gazing into yours, but he kept glancing back down as if he was thinking of kissing you again.  He finally groaned and leaned back a bit however his hands remained on your thighs.

“I should go and check on Harold and the Ghouls.”

“Yes. I should um, get dressed. And find Ethel.”

“Si.”

“Ok.”

Neither one of you moved a muscle for what seemed like an eternity. You had no idea what he was thinking, but your own thoughts were still racing.  All you could think about was the kiss and how good it felt.  How good his hands felt on you and how good his body felt under your own hands.  Copia let a slow breath out and you bit your lip, waiting for him to turn and go so you could collect yourself.  Instead he groaned and moved close again, spreading your legs even farther so he could fit right against you.

You weren’t sure which one of you moved first but it didn’t really matter.  All you cared about was that Copia was kissing you again and you never wanted him to stop.

Everything else could wait.

Go to Chapter 7: The Ministry

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2 - Coast - Luffy x f!soulmate!reader

Chapter Two

Taglist: @mystic60 , @louisechec , @pinksh1t

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With an arm thrown across my eyes, I sighed deeply through my nose and listened to the ship creak as it rocked back and forth in the waves. I was hoping desperately that I wouldn't get seasick, having never actually been on a boat before, and the nerves probably weren't helping with the queasiness.

The cute little creature, Chopper, had condemned me to what was the women's quarters for the time being. He claimed I needed the rest, some time to adjust on my own after being thrown into the situation so suddenly. No wonder he was the ship's doctor; he was right. It took a long while, several hours in fact, before the shock finally wore off and I could somewhat come to terms with things. It was nearly sundown at this point.

To summarize, I wasn't home anymore and instead found myself in a world I am entirely unfamiliar with, which wasn't great. The positive was that I found Luffy, my soulmate; who was the Captain of his crew, who had expressed that they would help me get acclimated and I was free to stay with them and join the crew myself. A part of me wondered if the reason they were so friendly was because I was their Captain's soulmate; maybe, in truth, they were annoyed at the sudden strangers appearance but didn't have another choice but to accept her... Even if it did seem like Luffy didn't even want me in the first place.

I frowned, feeling the pit in my stomach drop deeper. Out of all the things I'd imagined I would feel when we met, being disappointed wasn't one of them.

Maybe I had just hyped it up for myself too much; held too many expectations. I mean, he did... technically call me cute, right? I felt my face warm at the memory, even if it was a brief one. The whiplash of emotions made my stomach twirl uncomfortably. 

Right. Trying not to get queasy - Don't think about that now.

Okay; So there were negatives, and there were positives, just like in every situation. Maybe I could just make the most out of the positives.

I kept repeating that like a mantra as I decidedly reached for the doorknob, trying to steel my nerves; hopefully I wouldn't be thrown around by the waves again, it was embarrassing enough the first time.

Creeping through the hammocks and trying to be careful to not trip over the floorboards, I found the same ladder that Chopper had led me down before, and began my ascension to the deck. The cool breeze caused a rush of goosebumps to flee down my back, much different from the heat from earlier; more refreshing, in a way. Taking a deep inhale of the fresh, salty air, I brought myself fully out onto the lower deck, looking for a familiar face. Robin and Nami were the quickest to notice me, and waved me over to them as they leaned over the white railing of the second deck. I obliged, keeping a wary eye out for a certain straw hat while I climbed the stairs.

"Hey, you're finally out!" Nami greeted me with a kind smile, and I felt my own smile reciprocate, though it felt a bit awkward.

"Are you feeling any better?" She continued.

"Yeah, a bit." I nodded, still feeling stiff and glancing between the two women who stared at me expectantly, realizing they wanted me to continue. 

"I-I think that maybe I just need some more time to adjust..." I gestured to the ocean and the boat around us, pausing to let my gaze linger distantly, before coming back to the real world. 

"A lot more time, actually. But, I got most of the thinking out of the way, at least. Come to terms with everything, I mean..." I finished. Robin hummed, affirming that she understood what I meant, and Nami nodded with a thoughtful, upturned look.

"Right, we didn't expect you to get used to things so quickly, anyways." The red head shrugged once she was finished with her inner debate, a bright grin flashing on her face.

"Still, you should let us know if we can help in any way! You're gonna' be one of us now, after all!" She seemed really excited about the idea, and my heart warmed a little at the thought; beginning to shrug away the earlier thoughts of them disliking me. Belonging somewhere was something I was always missing, and this group was seemingly welcoming me with open arms.

Only because you're their captain's soulmate.

I deflated a bit. Best not to get my hopes too high. It always ends the same way, anyways.

Speaking of the Captain, he came reeling around the corner on the lower deck with an energy that could only match that of the little ones back at the orphanage; he was closely followed by Usopp and Chopper, who looked pissed as he cackled and fled from them.

Watching their interaction, I couldn't help but watch Luffy like a hawk. He was cute, definitely. There was no doubt in my mind about that part, watching the apple of his cheek raise the crescent scar as his eyes crinkled, running circles around the sails post as the other two wildly gave chase. He just seemed like an all-around, fun person. Cheerful and bright. I wondered why I felt so opposite in that respect; gloomy and bland. Maybe that's why he didn't seem to like me at first? Was I too different?

"Don't be so down." Robin's smooth voice comforted me, matching my gaze with a knowing tease in her blue eyes, followed by a comforting grin. I sighed through my nose, shoulders drooping as I turned to glance at Nami who's smile I could see from the corner of my eyes. Nervous at the attention, I looked back at Luffy.

"...I guess I can't help it." I furrowed my eyebrows, feeling frustrated and confused. Robin nods, and Nami stays silent, choosing to listen before she could advise, I assumed. But, I didn't say anything after that. 

"I'm guessing where you come from soulmates are considered normalized, frequent even. I can see it on your face and in your reactions." I blinked in surprise, looking at her from the side, and she shot me another smile.

"Besides," I turned to listen to Nami's knowing tone, "Even if soulmates were common here, Luffy is a bit of an oddball. Try not to mind him too much." She finished, shaking her head with a huff. Something told me that she had put up with him being such an 'oddball' for a while now.

"...Are soulmates uncommon here?" I asked, albeit hesitantly, feeling like I already knew the answer anyway.

"Very." Said Nami.

"She's correct. Soulmates are known to only appear once every few years, and are more commonly found on highly populated islands," I listened intently, trying to wrap my head around how the world worked here.

"In fact, it's so rare that people don't often choose to dedicate themselves to look for their soulmates. Most commonly they just don't have the time or resources to do it. Many can go without finding their soulmates for their whole lives; but when they do, it's a very celebrated and special occasion, and the government even has a few laws implemented for soulmates." I listened intently as Robin recited the facts like she was reading straight out of a book, awed that she was so knowledgeable and fluent.

"However, I do agree that the Captain is an odd one." That last sentence was like a slap to the face, "You're definitely going to have your hands full with him!" She teased, laughing as Nami snickered in the background. 

"Oh," I uttered dumbly, finding myself trailing my disheartened gaze back to the boy as he taunted Chopper on being so short, "Um, okay. I'll take your word for it."

It's not like the two of them seemed wrong, anyway. He was behaving very strangely... and it still bothered me that he wasn't as attentive to me as I was to him, so far. He hadn't even noticed that I had been staring at him for the majority of this little chat. 

"What about you?" Nami said, tilting her head curiously, "Where you came from, I mean. I'm curious how soulmates work there." 

I tilted my head back at her, pursing my lips before looking back over the ledge and wondering where would be best to start. 

"Back where I come from," I finally began, in order to ease the growing silence, "Practically everyone has a soulmate; it's hard to find somebody without one."

I paused before continuing, turning to gauge their reactions. They were both still listening with a neutral gaze, blinking ardently for me to continue.

"The people born without one are labeled unlucky, and those who do have soulmates have varying methods of finding them. Names, initials, first words, a red string, a patch of their soulmates favorite color on their skin, timers, writing on the skin, same tattoos--" I cut myself off, realizing I was rambling as Nami laughed and told me to 'slow down a second, will ya?' Turning pink, I apologized and continued. 

"Y-You get the picture. There were a lot of people with soulmates, and a lot of ways to find them. For me, I did everything I could to find mine; searched the internet, attended conventions, you name it. Nobody had something that matched me..." They looked at me quizzically from some of the things I said, and I had to wonder if they had the internet in this world. I hadn't seen a single phone anywhere. 

"Almost everyone I knew had already found their soulmates, and, I guess I got desperate to have someone like that. The pressure was really high for me, since I was already over the average age where people met their soulmate and... I just... thought that maybe he would be a little more excited to see me." I ended softly, picking at the white paint with my fingernails as I watched Luffy flick Chopper in the forehead, who launched at the boy in retaliation. Usopp was shouting for Chopper to win the scuffle in the background. 

Both Robin and Nami were still looking at me, I could see them from the corner of my eye; but I felt instant regret, not wanting to look back at them and see any pity on their faces. I hadn't meant to make them feel bad, but I guess I shouldn't have told them so much if I didn't want  pity.

I didn't know it at the time, but the both of them had a moment of understanding with each other in our shared silence. Not one of pity, but of hilarity. Slowly, Nami started laughing, and Robin grinned.

"Is that what you're so worried about?" The red head giggled, and I turned in disbelief, a little upset that they were laughing at me; I didn't get to put in my two cents, she was interrupting me before I could speak. 

"Um, yeah he's excited to see you?" She stated like I was crazy, "He nearly busted down the door to our room after Chopper told him he couldn't go in, you dummy!" Nami hadn't stopped laughing, still cheery in her words.

"That's correct. Didn't you see him peeking through the window? He was trying for around an hour before he finally gave up." Robin agreed wholeheartedly, and I felt elated. Not too much though, I don't want to get my hopes up.

"So... He might actually like me?"

Nami wheezed out another laugh, and Robin shook her head fondly. For some reason, it felt like I was so familiar with these people already. We were chatting like a couple of siblings; the two older trying to teach the younger.

"Of course he likes you! That much is obvious, come on." The redhead's words had me blushing a light pink, huffing through my lips and turning to face the boy again for some sort of distraction.

To my shock, he was already looking at me. His facial expression matched my own; looking as if he had stopped dead in the games he was playing, mouth hung open with widened eyes as he blinked in confusion. We held eye contact for a moment, and I watched him trail his eyes over my face just slightly, before they snapped back to my own. The minor movement sent a trail of pleasant shivers up my spine; such a small action had such a big impact, now. 

When the moment caught up to him, a wild grin popped onto his face.

The sound of rubber interrupts the otherwise simmering moment as he whips his arms forward and attaches them to the handrail before me. Backing up, I can only intercept a small 'what' in response to seeing his arms stretch so far, confusion and horror overtaking whatever else I was feeling in the moment before. I heard Nami snicker as the two girls walked away, and I wanted to curse at her for not warning me of whatever this was. Although... maybe they had.

When he finally pulled himself up to the second level, he had landed crouched with his feet on the railing like a monkey (fitting, for his name), and leaned in close to me. My breath stuttered at the feeling of his breath on my cheeks, head tilted up to look at him in his position. 

"Hey! You left the room!" He giggled excitedly, "You feel better, right? That means we can talk now!"

"U-Um. Hi." I stuttered out stupidly, suddenly feeling shy against his sparkling personality as my face flushes pink once again.

"Hi!" He mimics, coming down from the railing, now standing and having to look down at me from his taller height. I hadn't noticed that before. The fact made my stomach buzz, for some reason.

"Oh, uh. I feel a little better. S-So, we can talk, yeah."

"Awesome!" He puts his hands on his hips, grinning triumphantly, "My brother told me that when I met my soulmate we should talk, and do some other stuff, too; I can't remember what it was, though. What should we talk about?"

I was still buffering from the previous event of seeing his body being warped like it was; that, combined with his sudden closeness, seemed to make me short circuit and I said the first thought that popped into my head.

"You... Y-You're... Stretchy?" The confusion was obvious in my reluctance to ask the question, trying not to sound dumb in front of my soulmate, but not sure how else to get an answer for something like that. At this point, I was accepting everything and anything under the sun in this place after being teleported here. He was... certainly an oddball, in the wise Robin's words. Could people normally move like that here?

"Well, yeah. I'm a rubber man." He answered like it was the simplest, most known thing in the world. Like it was weird for me to ask in the first place, which I was trying to avoid. 

"...Oh." I bit my lip, looking away from him for a second, before trying to find a proper answer.

"How... Does it work?" Shuffling my feet so I could create some space between the two of us, finding it hard to look him in the eyes, "I don't understand what you mean, sorry."

"You're really weird!" He laughs so hard, like I had said the funniest joke in the world, and my face is probably the color of a beet from the embarrassment. He thinks I'm weird.

"I ate a devil-fruit, the Gum-Gum fruit!"

"D-Devil fruit?" I begin to feel myself deflate, but try to stay positive as I want the heat to leave my face, "What's a devil fruit?"

He cocks his head with his eyebrows furrowed, no longer smiling. It's a little intimidating, and I shrink back into myself on instinct. I'm not sure if he picks up on it but he crosses his arms.

"You don't know what a devil fruit is?" He asks, a bit judgmentally. Or at least, that's how it sounds to me. 

"U-Um, no. I'm sorry. I don't think I've ever heard of it before." I shake my head, a little too desperately maybe, and he frowns harder. 

"That's weird. Where are you from, anyways?" His brows furrow, and he crinkles his nose with a thinking face. A genuine question, probably, but I couldn't help but feel he was disapproving of me or something. Maybe he was hoping I would have one of these 'devil fruit' things, and I definitely didn't have one. 

It was at this point I just wanted to run away from him, go back to the girls room, and lay in bed until I passed out. If I could even sleep after this. I had forgotten momentarily that he hadn't listened to a word about how I got here in the first place, and simultaneously reminded that he also probably didn't care much about it either.

Before I can say anything else, feeling myself gape like a fish as the words won't form properly, he comes closer and grabs the hand that I was subconsciously fiddling with in my nervousness. In reflex, I snap my hand back to myself and take a step back, feeling the warmth that emanated from his hand disappear as soon as it was there. 

He blinks, as if surprised at my actions, before speaking.

"Why'd you pull away?" A beat of silence when I can't respond, frozen by my own reaction, "You don't look like a pirate or a marine, you're too small and skinny. You don't have any scars or tattoos or anything."

He closes his eyes, seemingly thinking to himself; it sounded like he was pointing out all of my flaws, for some reason. What was this? Was he trying to be mean? Saying that I wasn't good enough? I wanted to throw up.

"N-No, I'm sorry, I'm not any of those. I was a student before I came here." He perks up with a surprised grunt at my words, and I have to lean back as he gets close again, feeling my stomach flutter at the devious smile laid on his face.

"School? You must be rich, then!" Shaking my head at the words, I quickly wave my hands in front of me to deny his claim so he doesn't get the wrong idea. 

"N-No, I'm not. Everyone goes to school where I'm from." The disappointment on his face probably reflects in my own, and he stands up straight again. Shit, I should've just lied and said I was rich. He wouldn't have known either way, right? 

"Aw, man. That's weird. Everyone I know who goes to school is rich." Silence ensues. 

Weird. The word is bumping around in my head like the DVD screen. I make a last ditch effort to change the subject and maybe find some semblance of relief for myself in this conversation. 

"So... You're a pirate, right?" I twist my fingers, looking up at him from under my lashes, too scared to give him my full attention.

"You bet!" He exclaims, leaning back down toward me after meeting my gaze, and I can't find a way out this time when I feel my back brush against the wall behind me. Now, I'm beginning to get flustered all over again. 

Damn this whirlwind of a conversation.

"I'm the Captain of the crew, the Straw Hat Pirates, and the Going Merry! That's our boat." He chuckles, before tilting his head endearingly, scanning my face again as if he's searching for something. I feel my heart stop, the pitch black coals feel like they're searing into my skin. The seconds are drawn into minutes, analyzing every part of those pretty obsidian hues. 

And those pretty hues are looking at me; analyzing me, too.

"And when I find The One Piece, I'm gonna be the The King of the Pirates!" He's leaning back, nose upturned in what seems like satisfaction, and I let the breath I was holding out of my nose in relief. Then, he's pointing at me.

"I guess that means you're gonna' be The Queen of the Pirates, right?"

I feel my face burning for the umpteenth time since the start of this five minute conversation, not sure where to look as the grin on his face grows to an exuberant smile, and I panic and stutter.

"I knew it. You do like me!" He cackles. 

Chapter Three

[paninicupcakke]

Why bother? 💉⚾️🎃

(Blunt trauma one shot series)

Tattoo artist! Scout - Freddie

Mourning! Medic - Conrad

(CW: grieving, angst, death of loved ones)

🌹AU context & lore:

🎃

“Sooo…what’re you dressin’ up as this year?” Freddie eagerly asked. Casually sitting on top of the doctor’s desk, making sure not to crush any of his paperwork. Conrad let out a small sigh as he put down his pen. Glancing up at his giddy colleague beside him.

“I’m not celebrating Halloween this year.” Conrad replied while adjusting his glasses. To some that sounded completely reasonable, to the scout those words felt like daggers. That sentence alone was completely out of character for the doctor. Freddie sat there perplexed for a few moments before speaking up.

“Uh…you’re jokin’ right? Halloween’s your favorite holiday.” Scout said in disbelief.

“And? You’re point?” Conrad firmly replied.

“But you love dressin’ up with us. Y-You can’t just bail on the Halloween party!” Freddie persisted while furrowing his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry but I’m not going. I am very busy on Halloween night. I could not get the day off of work this year. So why bother dressing up?” Conrad sternly stated with a shrug. The spark in the doctor’s eyes was far from gone.

“Aw, please doc! Can’t you come for just a little bit after work? We can’t have a Halloween party without you. T-That’s like salt without pepper!” Freddie passionately begged. Conrad shook his head.

“Nein. My decision is final. Even if I wasn’t working, I would not dress up.” Conrad bitterly replied. Becoming agitated with this conversation. His tormented mind was under a lot of stress with work, along with grieving he simply had little to no patience lately. Freddie frowned at his response, he sat there looking like a kicked puppy. He reached out to gently pat the doctor’s shoulder. Conrad fidgeted slightly but allowed the soft touch.

“You’re killin’ me doc. Please…don’t you think she would’ve wanted you to have a fun time?” Freddie asked. Conrad snapped at that sentence. Mentioning his beloved, deceased friend quickly flooded his mind with several past Halloween memories. His eyes furrowed as he frantically scanned his desk. Countless small items that Rose had gifted him were scattered throughout his office. His emotions got the best of him and consumed him whole. Conrad swiftly stood up from his desk.

“Of course she would have! But I cannot simply do what I want all the time Scout! LIFE’S NOT FAIR! GET USED TO IT!” Conrad angrily snapped at his colleague. His glaring gaze soon turned into one of despair. Accidentally losing his temper at the one teammate he confided in. Freddie flinched slightly at the doctor’s tone, he hopped off his desk and stood back on his feet. The German’s cheeks were flushed and soon wet. Tears dribbling down his face as he began to speak.

“Freddie wait! D-don’t leave. I’m sorry, I-I did not mean to raise my voice at you.” Conrad quickly apologized. His desperate voice stammered as he choked back his tears. Without much thought, Freddie simply pulled the other man into a warm embrace. Conrad’s eyes widened.

“Don’t worry, I ain’t goin’ no where. It’s gonna take way more than that to get rid of me.” Freddie said while gently patting his back. After hearing those words, Conrad slowly melted into the younger man’s arms. He wasn’t expecting the scout to be so forgiving. His melancholy consumed him completely. The doctor’s black brimmed hat fell to the office floor as he hung his head into the crook of Freddie’s shoulder. Weeping desperately while holding onto his lanky colleague. Both men slowly began sinking onto the cold, tile floor. Sat with their others arms wrapped around each other. Freddie nuzzled in close, allowing the doctor to cry as much as needed.

“Y-You’re the one who told me to not let that child inside of you die. Everyone else can be miserable and kill off their childhood but I won’t! Life frickin’ sucks! The least we can do is dress up and pretend to be someone else for one goddamn day.” Freddie passionately explained as tears rolled down his cheeks. He held tightly onto Conrad, beginning to sniffle himself. The German let those words sink in while gently caressing the back of scout’s head. He suddenly reached up and grabbed the tissue box on the edge his desk. Plucking several tissues out and dispersing them to each other. A saddened grin crept across his cheeks, he took a deep breath before speaking.

“I-I’ll dress up…if only for you.” Conrad stammered. He then began to gently clean up the young man’s tears. Taking some responsibility for making the scout cry as well. Freddie sniffled with a bashful and sad smile.

“Good. I-It ain’t just for me y’know. Didn’t she like Halloween too?” Freddie asked. Glancing up at the small framed picture on the doctor’s desk. A photo of the elderly woman alongside Conrad, both smiling while sat on the bus together. Conrad took in a shaky breath before replying.

“Yes. She sewed a couple of mein past costumes.” Conrad said while taking his glasses off and setting them up onto his desk. Both men slowly began to stand back up. Conrad continued blowing his nose and cleaning himself up with several tissues. Freddie suddenly pulled the doctor into a side hug, wrapping his arm around his waist. Resting his head on taller man’s shoulder while looking down at the photo.

“I-I never met her but she sounds like a really cool lady from what you’ve told me.” Freddie said followed by a small sniffle. Conrad nodded his head.

“She was.” Conrad stammered with a sad grin. He trembled slightly before completely breaking down again. He suddenly grabbed the young man by his shirt and pulled him back into a tight embrace. Freddie witnessed the doctor’s loud, sorrowful groaning. It was difficult to hear his beloved friend hurting so much. He quickly wrapped both arms around him and rubbed his back continuously.

☁️🚌

“You’re always on about that young man. I’d bite the bullet soon and ask him on a date if I were you. Doesn’t have to be nothin’ fancy y’know. Rose said with a grin. Handing Conrad back a photograph of all of the BLU team mercenaries together. Conrad let out an anxious sigh, glancing up from the picture to look out the bus’s window momentarily.

“I-I don’t know if he even likes men. On top of that, I-I’m not exactly built like the average man.” Conrad nervously replied. Referring to one of his biggest secrets about himself that only Rose knew about.

“You’ll never know if you don’t ask.” Rose said with a small shrug.

“I-I can’t do that. That’s not professional. He’s seven years younger than I am, it wouldn’t be right.” Conrad admitted bashfully. Sticking the photograph of his colleague’s back into his work bag.

“You two see each other after work don’t you? Ask him then.” Rose bluntly suggested.

“It’s not that simple.” Conrad said with a small frown. The bus had suddenly come to a full stop. The elderly woman grabbed her purse and stood up slowly. Several other bus passengers had quickly passed by her. Rose gazed down at her beloved travel companion.

“Well, it is that simple. The least you can do is try. If you don’t at least ask him, you’ll live to regret it. Trust me.” Rose firmly stated. Conrad listened intently, letting out a small sigh.

“I’ll try to…eventually.” Conrad shyly promised. Rose grinned and lightly patted the man’s shoulder.

“Good. Now you have a good day at work. I’ve gotta get going, my soaps are about to start.” Rose said with a chipper grin. Conrad snickered.

“Auf wiedersehen.” Conrad said with a small wave goodbye. Rose waved back and began walking down the aisle, exiting the bus. Conrad sat there pondering, debating on wether to take her advice.

☁️

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM HIS GIRL FRIDAY *  assorted dialogue from the 1940 film, adjust as necessary

he looks like that fellow in the movies.

it frightens me to think of what i'd like to do to you.

where'd you get the hat?

did you see me in your dreams?

i know what quitting would mean to you!

it's the other way around.

listen, it's a matter of life and death!

well, it's not like that.

we might dynamite it.

i'd know you anytime.

that's the speech you made the night you proposed.

oh, don't get technical at a time like this.

that's why i'm quitting!

she hung up! what did i say?

take your hands off me!

he's kind and he's sweet and he's considerate. he wants a home and children.

never mind the jokes.

oh, well, that relieves my mind.

sorta wish you hadn't done that, [name].

our whole lives are at stake!

it was cruel of us to let you suffer that way.

it brings good luck.

you know, he's not such a bad fellow.

isn't [name] sweet? always wanting to protect me.

what were you when you came here five years ago?

i wouldn't cover the burning of rome for you if they were just lighting it up.

what does he look like?

he's not the man for you. i can see that. but i sort of like him. he's got a lot of charm.

you've got the brain of a pancake.

i've been a reporter for 20 years... i never heard that before.

i'd put my arm in fire for you, up to here.

you say that again, i'll come over there and kick you in the teeth.

what's the matter, [name]?

don't give me that innocent stuff!

who else was there when he gave you this?

she was born right here in this country!

maybe the sheriff let him out.

you've got an old fashioned idea divorce is something that lasts forever.

you don't deny that, do you?

that isn't what i got married for!

are we invited to the wedding?

you wouldn't take me if i hadn't been doll-faced.

how did i treat you? like a water buffalo?

now you got me!

if you were worth breaking my nails on, i'd tear your face wide open.

is there any way we can stop the 4:00 train to albany?

i suppose i proposed to you?

don't be hasty!

what does he want with you?

well, what are you doing there? haven't you even started?

you practically did, making goo-goo eyes at me for two years until i broke down.

what's the use of fighting?

this is only temporary!

it's all in little pieces now, and i hope to do the same for you some day.

of course he had to have a gun re-enact the crime with.

if you had been a gentleman, you would have forgotten all about it. but not you!

i just said i'd write it, i didn't say i wouldn't tear it up!

i know it's on the way.

what do you think i am, a crook?

uh... let me get this straight. i must have misunderstood you.

don't you remember the home i promised you?

there's been a lamp burning in the window for you, honey.

looks like about ten years a piece for you two birds.

that isn't going to help you this time.

you're through.

well, [name], where are you?

that's the story i just wrote.

yes, yes, i know we had a bargain.

i thought it would be a novelty to have a face around here a man could look at without shuddering.

i jumped out of that window a long time ago.

he treats me like a woman.

[name], you're wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.

now get this, you double-crossing chimpanzee.

there ain't gonna be an interview, and there ain't gonna be a story.

did you hear that?

[faccal]

Something that popped into my head before heading off to bed and I had to get it out.

From the Western Fic I've been thinking about. (Started playing RDR2 for the first time, that certainly hasn't helped lol.)

The leader of the gang, this Rorke, adjusts his black hat atop the fabric covering his bald head, that wicked smirk of his boiling Logan's blood. He makes a noise, akin to a scoff, before pulling at his pants as he bends down. “You've been awfully mouthy, boy.”

Logan scowls, hating the man's stupid ugly face and his even uglier scar carving across his left cheek. Nothing would please him more right now than to put this self righteous prick in his place. He lifts his head, mirroring the older man's smug smirk. “Yeah, and you have no idea who you're messing with, so I'd recommend you take. Me. Back!”

Rorke has the audacity to laugh, the older man looking to the man called Neptune on his right, and the other one called Merrick on his left. He shakes his head, pushing himself back into a standing position. “Alright, I'll indulge your little tantrums.” He laughs to himself, but the other two remain silent, staring blankly at Logan as if he's some wild creature they have to figure out if they should tame or kill. “Who am I messing with, kid?”

Logan releases a quick sigh, putting his head as high as he can, but he can see the silent laughter at the edges of Rorke's eyes. Oh how he wished that bullet had blown a hole through his head, and not the shoulder of one of the others. “You may have heard of him. He was a union soldier once, but for a time he was like you lot. He's a good man though, my father. That's who you're messing with!” He spits to the side, a renewed anger lighting a fire in his chest. “His name is Elias T. Walker, and he's gonna hunt you down, and kill every single one of—” there's a flash of movement before harsh, stinging, burning pain erupts on the right side of his face. It cracks through his teeth and rattles his skull, knocking everything into darkness for at least a solid minute or two. He blinks slowly, wincing as more pain carves through his head. Opening and closing his mouth, he chokes on copper, spitting out a few coughs that spatter the ground with blood. His eyes can hardly focus, and he fights so hard to regain himself, but the back of his head hit the tree he's tied to pretty hard.

“Damnit Rorke, you could've killed him with that punch!” Merrick shouts back at the man, the balding man kneeling beside him with one hand on his shoulder. Neptune has Rorke pulled back with another man Logan hadn't seen before.

When he manages to focus, he recognizes Keegan leaning by a tree further back. His mouth is still covered by that skull mask they all wear, but his eyes hold a faint hint of worry.

“Killed him? He woulda been fine!” Rorke snaps, glaring eyes snapping back to Logan. “Stupid brat!” He barks, ready to lunge at him again but Neptune and the strange man shove him back.

Logan wants to snarl, to scream and hiss and threaten their stupid leader. He knows his anger shows on his face by the evil smirk growing on Rorke's.

"Got soemthin to say, son?" He barks.

Logan scowls. "My brother is going to kill you for touching me you stupid son of a bit—" One of Merrick's hands clamp tightly onto his mouth, forcing his head back against the tree.

"Yeah, you best keep that boy silent, Thomas. I'm not feeling generous anymore." He brushes Neptune and the other man off, glaring heatedly at Logan before storming back into camp.

Merrick lets out a low sigh, dabbing one of his kerchiefs at his lips, a deep frown marking his bearded face. “You alright?” He asks, pulling his hand away.

Logan nods once, doing his best to keep his lips from quivering and eyes from watering. He hadn't ever been punched that hard before, it still burned.

Rorke manages to start an argument with a separate man, with Neptune hot on his heels trying to get him back to his tent.

“I'm gonna go help them with him and maybe get the kid some food, mind keeping an eye on him?” Merrick asks, dusting off his brown vest and pants as he stands to face Keegan.

Keegan looks between the two, expressionless blue eyes eery and contemplating. “Fine.” He mutters, eyeing the kid blankly.

Merrick nods once, eyeing Logan apprehensively before charging off towards the fire.

Keegan stays by the tree a little while longer before pushing off the tree and finally making his way over. Kneeling, he pulls out his canteen, unscrewing the top before pressing it to Logan's still bleeding lips. “Take a sip, swish, spit. Then you can drink properly.” His deep voice throws Logan off, but his calm tone puts him at ease, a weirdly balanced imbalance. He'd found Keegan strange since they'd first met, after Rorke had him snatch Logan and throw him on his horse. He'd managed to wound one of their other men when they'd ridden into town to cause trouble, but clearly Rorke wasn't the forgiving type. Something about "an eye for an eye".

“Thanks.” Logan mumbles, doing as Keegan says before quenching his parched throat.

Keegan watches blankly, those almost inhuman blue eyes of his taking in every single bit of movement Logan makes.

He pulls the canteen back, wiping Logan's lips and chin with the back of his gloved hand. He hadn't changed his attire since they met two days ago, the older man clearly having a thing for all black. From his spurred boots up to his hat with a feather stuck to it, Keegan wore all black. All day, everyday. “Get some rest.” He says, standing and looking behind him at the fire. “Try to get some rest, Merrick should bring food to you soon.”

Logan stares up at him with big brown eyes, and he can see the older man's left eye twitch as he stares at him.

“Stop it.” He mutters, looking back at the fire before walking off.

“Hey, wait!” He tries, but the one semblance of kindness he's seen since they'd taken him, abandons him to the quiet cool night, still tied to the stupid tree.

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR 6. ROUND TABLE EP 149: perfect pitch :o

WARNiNGS » profanity, mentions of drinking, jake being a menace, there also might be typos 😢

3.7k words (again imsorry)

episode desc - come and take a seat with us at our round table! todays episode is a little different because while talking we built a lego set that jake got! while building we covered perfect pitch, icks in relationships, and scenarios we got sent by you guys on twitter. so please stay for a while with us and get comfortable, hope you enjoyed your meeting with us at the round table! 

*all four boys are seating at a round table, jake is opening a lego box to get out the packets and instructions. heeseung adjusts the camera. the setting of the room is a lot more casual, there’s polaroids on the wall of them and their friends. the chairs they sit in aren’t normal outdoor chairs but rather look much more comfortable. each mic has something correlating to them. jake has iron man, heeseung has a controller, jay has a tiny chef hat and sunghoon has a penguin. heeseung takes a seat and claps his hands together. from left to right the order they’re sitting in goes jake, jay, sunghoon, heeseung.*

heeseung: okay the camera is good 

jay: what was going on with it? 

heeseung: it kept focusing in and out very weirdly, also i think it was dying so i had to change the battery. *he adjusts his mic so it picks up the sound better*

*sunghoon shuts off his phone and sits up, adjusting his mic and looking to the camera* 

sunghoon: guys i am not an alpha male, i like chappell roan and other non alpha male things and i love lauryn hill 

jake: so convincing *he scoffs-half laugh.* 

sunghoon: no im serious, i gave the album a listen and i loved it so much 

jay: told you 

heeseung: what are we building by the way. *he sits up a little taller to try and see the box. 

jake: i’m not telling you! it’s gonna be a surpriseee *sing-song voice* 

jay: i don’t know if you guys know or not but sunghoon and jake were actually late today 

sunghoon: yeah! getting snacks for you and heeseung! 

heeseung: i’m not gonna get on to them they actually brought us food. 

jay: oh but last time i was late you cut from my paycheck 

jake: bring food next time loser 

*jay flicks jake’s forehead making him groan loudly* 

jay: i’m mistreated guys im taking new friend applications 

heeseung: oh like jake’s girlfriend application? 

*the group laughs, jake looks the camera in all seriousness* 

jake: if this gets 1 million likes i’ll post the google form. 

heeseung: where would you take her out for a first date 

jay: don’t make him say it, we might get demonetized. *jay laughs along with sunghoon and heeseung. jake rolls his eyes and sighs* 

jake: you think so low of me. 

sunghoon: well considering when you [BLEEP] in your last relationship 

jake: woah?!? i told you that in confidence. 

*sunghoon laughs loudly. jay and heeseung look at each other then laugh* 

jake: okay guys it’s not that funny 

heeseung: cannot believe you did that. you begged her? 

jay: according to sunghoons words the [BLEEP] was too good 

jake: GUYSSSS *he groans, putting his head on the table* 

sunghoon: okay okay fine 

*sunghoon heeseung and jay stop laughing in an attempt to calm themselves down* 

heeseung: before we sign in we should recap our weekend right? 

*jay nods, taking a sip of his water and sitting up straighter. jake moves the pile of lego bags in the middle along with the instruction booklets.* 

sunghoon: well mine was chill, ask those two schmucks though. *he points to jay and jake who smile at one another knowing what they did this weekend* 

jake: okay well we went to a music festival and it was so sick. 

jay: no yeah it was so fun, we were at the barricades too! 

*heeseung widens his eyes, intently listening* 

heeseung: barricades?! who was performing. 

jay: it was a lot of underground artists but live music is like always good. it kinda sucked though because we were with yeonjun and his friends and i knew jake was gonna be drunk so i had to drive back home. 

*jake laughs, jay glaring at him.* 

jake: yeah but you had fun, flirted around too didn’t ya. *he playfully hits jays shoulder, making his ears turn red* 

heeseung & sunghoon: OOOOO *sing-song voice* 

jay: barely, BARELY. this girl liked my outfit and we talked for a bit 

jake: ‘a bit’ more like all night. 

heeseung: oooo 1, 2, 3, 4 that guy has rizz galoreeee! 

*once he says that the boys stop what they’re doing to stare at him, jake side eyes sunghoon and all three of them begin laughing at heeseung.* 

sunghoon: what the fuck was that man 

heeseung: *laughs embarrassingly* i don’t know i saw it on my tiktok, i just wanted to try it 

jay: for those of you who say that heeseung gets hoes he in fact does not *still laughing* 

jake: only thing he touches is his controller everyday 

*jay and sunghoon laugh harder, their faces turning red. heeseung tries to hold back his laugh but then starts laughing with them.* 

heeseung: you guys are so mean 

sunghoon: if we can’t humble you who will.  

jay: well spoken hoon. 

jake: no no i think heeseung gets hoes 

heeseung: ehhhh my last relationship was a year ago 

sunghoon: i swore yall broke up a couple months ago 

jay: dude your perception of time is so bad 

jake: yeah it’s been a little more than a year

sunghoon: then i guess heeseung needs that girlfriend application more than you do. *laughs*

heeseung: can we just sign in please 

jake: oookaayy! welcome to another round table meeting, please sit down with us. i’m your host jake for this week and todays activity is legos and snacks! to my far right i have..

sunghoon: sunghoon

heeseung: heeseung

jay: ur mom 

jake: that wasn’t funny. 

heeseung: loser

jay: says the one who said the most embarrassing joke known to man 

*jay sticks his tongue out at heeseung making him flip him off*

jake: anyways, starting off the episode i wanna talk about how fucking convenient it is that heeseung has perfect pitch 

*the boys begin opening the lego bags, pouring it out and each taking their respective instruction booklet, one for each of them.*

heeseung: honestly one day i was just playing the piano and i discovered i had it 

sunghoon: yeah then you started milking the shit out of it 

jay: jake has a point because whenever i need to tune my guitars hee always helps me

heeseung: its good with the ladies too

jake: yeah okay rizz galore 

heeseung: okay enough

sunghoon: mmm i don’t think it’s enough *jay jake and sunghoon laugh at heeseungs face which is a pout* 

jake: it’s so cool though, i’ve never met anyone who has it 

heeseung: i don’t know, i think it would be much more convenient if i was like a singer or something but im not. it’s kind of a pointless talent 

sunghoon: i don’t think so, it gives you personality 

jay: you could’ve been a singer if you wanted to. if you guys don’t know heeseung actually auditioned to be in one of those kpop survival shows 

jake: *gasp* i remember, you told us at lunch that day like it was the biggest thing ever 

heeseung: you guys know the real reason i auditioned?

sunghoon: wait why

heeseung: because [BLEEP] did 

jay: *laughs, throwing his head back then high fiving sunghoon across the table* we figured 

heeseung: you two knew?!

sunghoon: jake did too actually but he thought it was.. you know 

jake: yeah i didn’t know it was her though 

heeseung: well my dreams of being in a kpop group were crushed when they rejected me. it didn’t matter anyways because i wasn’t that excited 

jay: i remember vividly you cried for weeks 

heeseung: is it hate heeseung day?

sunghoon: no, but it can be 

*heeseung shoves sunghoon shoulder making him giggle* 

jake: should i start with my questions? 

jay: yeah go ahead gamemaker 

sunghoon: floors yours 

jake: okay well i only had one question and the rest were scenarios that people sent 

heeseung: agh before you do ill go and grab those snacks that you bought 

jake: okay we can wait it’s fine 

*heeseung gets up, leaving the room, jay jake and sunghoon continue to build, looking at the instructions* 

jake: you know i was thinking the other night we’ve known each other forever 

jay: we really have haven’t we. i mean i have to be honest i never would’ve expected to be like best friends with you guys 

sunghoon: ouch 

jay: not like that. i mean that i never would’ve thought that id actually have people this close to me you know. or like people who understand me this much. 

sunghoon: i understand. i feel the same. i mean i feel like people think im just cold and heartless but you guys understand me for who i am 

jake: you just seem like you are, you aren’t actually hoon. 

sunghoon: it just feels like it sometimes. like i feel like i don’t try to come off as cold but it just happens. 

jay: it’s the ice in your veins 

*all three of them laugh* 

sunghoon: no but really, i just think that you guys understand me so much more than i would’ve imagined 

*heeseung walks back in, eyebrows furrowed at the conversation they’re having. he sets the snacks down on the table and sits down*

heeseung: didn’t expect it to get deep today 

jake: sorry guys 

jay: it’s okay, i like our deep convos 

heeseung: jake? you wanna ask your question? 

jake: oh yeah! *he pulls out his phone to see his layout of todays episode* okay first off, what do you guys think your icks are in relationships. or talking stage or anything really. 

jay: this is a hot take but just being overly rude. 

*heeseung, jake, and sunghoon hum in agreement* 

jay: i think it’s kind of annoying but also just mean. like i understand the occasional joking manner but being mean to people unprompted is so weird. 

sunghoon: i agree, i think it really displays what kind of person you are. like why are you being mean to people you’ve never even met. let alone don’t even know. 

heeseung: i feel like it depends on the situation you know. could be one of those things where she seems rude but in reality she’s not. 

jay: i guess so, but i still just find it weird. i understand being closed off with your emotions but i think just being rude without any reasoning is just mean. 

jake: i understand that. personally an ick for me is someone who has a big ego not in like a funny way but in a way they always have to one up you. it’s like the relationship is a competition almost 

sunghoon: mmm see ive met some people like that, i do feel like there’s some underlying trauma that makes them do that you know. *sunghoon opens the bag of snacks in front of him and takes a chip out, angling the bag towards the others and they dig in.* 

jay: i think what jake is trying to say is that they’re just really full of themselves. like they think they can do any wrong 

sunghoon: that’s just a shitty person to be around. 

heeseung: an ick for me is someone who doesn’t know how to dress 

*heeseung looks to the other boys and they burst out laughing at the change of mood.*

jay: i love how we talked about deep things and heeseungs is so surface level 

heeseung: okay im sorry! i would want my partner to just dress nice it’s not hard to ask 

sunghoon: i don’t think ive ever talked to a girl who didn’t have style

heeseung: me either but there’s people out there

jake: *laughs* okay hee. what about you hoon? 

sunghoon: *he thinks whilst he’s trying to build* maybe insecure people? 

jay: okay that’s a bit of a hot take 

sunghoon: not like that. i understand people have insecurities it’s just annoying because at some point those insecurities will just go onto your shoulders that’s not something i want. i’m not the most confident person but at the same time i am confident in my own skin so i guess i would want someone like that 

heeseung: i get it, sometimes people like that can drag you down with them. it’s entirely too draining 

sunghoon: i just want to have fun in my relationship. like i don’t want it to be too tolling 

jake: but what good is a relationship if you don’t have to work for it? 

sunghoon: you have a point. ugh why can’t you be wrong like always 

*jay laughs, jake rolls his eyes at sunghoon and chuckles a little* 

jake: you’re annoying 

sunghoon: yeah but you love me 

heeseung: awwww a confession 

jake: shut up 

*sunghoon smiles at jake’s cheeks flushing pink*

jay: i’m kind of excited for these scenarios 

jake: oh they are juicy our listeners have exciting lives. the first one is this girl has a boy best friend who is really close with her crush. but it turns out she found out that the boy best friend has a crush on her and so does her crush. she doesn’t know which guy to pick because they’re both equally good to her but she’s starting to like both of them. 

heeseung: oh that’s messy. move cities? 

jay: be serious heeseung 

heeseung: no i would like actually have to move cities if that were to happen. that’s such a difficult choice. 

jay: the question is did she really even like her crush if she’s starting to like her boy best friend? 

sunghoon: ooo you’re right. it’s like they say, you didn’t actually love the first if you fall for the second 

jake: wise words spoken from park sunghoon

sunghoon: i read that on a facebook post 

*the four of them laugh at sunghoons analogy* 

heeseung: i guess just pick whichever one you like more. 

jake: okay just to spin it around for you guys. what if they’re actively fighting over her and it’s ruining their friendship so if she picked one the other wouldn’t talk to either of them again. 

jay: oh that’s hard.. i have to agree with heeseung move cities 

jake: guys come on! real advice! 

jay: ugh fine. 

heeseung: well.. was their friendship really that strong if they’re fighting over a girl of all things. 

sunghoon: oh you’re right. they weren’t ever really friends if a girl came between them. it just proves the friendship was weak at the start so she shouldn’t have to feel that bad about it because they couldn’t have been that close. 

jay: but what if that just reflects that her and the guys future relationship will be just as weak as that friendship. 

jake: hey why’d you twist it! 

jay: sorryy *he smiles at jake and he rolls his eyes, continuing to build* 

heeseung: easy get over them 

jake: that’s not a good answer 

heeseung: okay fine then she should choose herself. she doesn’t need that kind of toxicity in her life 

sunghoon: yeah i agree

jay: same here 

jake: okay next! this guy says “recently my girlfriend told me that she’s questioning her sexuality, i want to be there for her and help her through whatever she is going through but would it be selfish for me to put myself first and break up with her?” *jay and heeseungs eyes widened as jake kept reading the message*

sunghoon: well. i mean it’s clear she doesn’t feel the same way for him anymore so i don’t think he’s wrong to break up with her 

heeseung: is it like he’s scared she’s gonna cheat on him? 

jay: i think it’s just because he knows her heart isn’t in it anymore. which is fine it happens to everyone. 

heeseung: okay, then yeah it’s not wrong to break up. i would say though continue to be her friend if he still wanted to be there for her 

jay: yeah, i agree with that. it’s completely reasonable to break up if it’s already like been made aware that one person doesn’t feel the spark anymore. there’s no point in staying together 

jake: how would you guys feel? if you were the guy. 

sunghoon: i’d be hurt because break ups suck but at the same time i can’t do much. it’s like sorta out of your hands. 

heeseung: yeah, i mean if she’s questioning her sexuality that’s okay but i would have to put myself first and step out of the relationship 

jake: okay okay. so last scenario, “my friend group is drifting apart because two of our friends dated and broke up. one of them cheated but the person who cheated is my closest friend in the whole world. what do i do” 

*heeseung jay and sunghoon all collectively have the same facial expression*

heeseung: the fuck. 

jay: i would seriously be questioning the friendship 

sunghoon: what do you mean

jay: think about it, if someone can be in a relationship claim to love someone then cheat on them what does that say about what kind of friend they are. 

sunghoon: oh.. you’re so right. 

heeseung: wait so these two people who dated were in the same friend group and because of that they’re taking sides? 

jake: yeah, they didn’t clarify but i’m sure that’s what they meant. 

heeseung: what kind of bullshit is that? friends shouldn’t be dragging the other in their relationship. it doesn’t matter if they broke up you shouldn’t have to take sides

jay: i mean it makes a bit of sense, the guy cheated so who would wanna be friends with a cheater

sunghoon: i agree with jay, i would seriously drop that guy even if he was my best friend. it takes an evil spawn of satan to cheat on someone

*jay and jake side eye each other then laugh at sunghoons word choice. heeseung joins in and sunghoon laughs along*

jake: you have such a way with words

sunghoon: it’s like the evilest thing ever dude

jay: hes so real because if i got cheated on i would wonder where the fuck did i find this super villain 

heeseung: imagine cheaters have groupchats and when they’re picking their targets they’re like “tonight we steal ze moon!!” *in gru impression*

*the boys laugh harder, the topic they were talking about now completely lost*

jake: no i think that’s so accurate. i really do think it is like that

sunghoon: i think yeah i would drop the dude

heeseung: i agree 

jay: okay jake what the fuck are we building 

*the separate pieces now finished, the boys look at them in confusion. jake smiles and gestures them to slide it to him. he begins putting it together while the other are snacking. he hides the finished piece behind his back*

jake: okay guess what? 

heeseung: what?

jake: chicken butt!!! *jake pulls out the finished build behind his back and it is indeed a chicken butt* 

*the three of them stare in silence whilst jake laughs, completely losing his mind at the immature joke.* 

jay: is it too late to quit this podcast 

sunghoon: i’m right there with you 

heeseung: we’ve been here for like an hour and a half and you made us build one big gigantic chicken butt?!

jake: perhaps *giggle* 

sunghoon: how did you even find it 

jake: it’s off brand lego. they make them custom it takes months 

jay: you’ve been preparing this for MONTHS?!

jake: yes it’s literally perfect 

heeseung: oh my god 

sunghoon: ugh you’re so annoying 

jake: that’s a compliment. 

*jay looks at the build then starts laughing, heeseung and sunghoon laughing with him.*

jake: told you! 

heeseung: we should put it here in the room somewhere 

sunghoon: oh yeah i agree. 

jay: this was actually fun 

jake: oh wait guys give me a snack review 

heeseung: umm okay. i think the chips were an 8/10 i don’t enjoy honey mustard chips but they were good. and the candies were also like a 7/10 

jake: i hate you okay next 

heeseung: what the fuck-

sunghoon: 0/10 for both because i paid 

jake: that’s just mean

sunghoon: im sorry?? you made me drive you and pay. which by the way am i taking you home 

jake: yeah.. can you please *he smiles at sunghoon*

sunghoon: of course. did you wanna get something to eat 

jake: ughh yeah 

jay: no fair why are you guys going out on a date without us

heeseung: yeah what the hell

jake: well because this is heeseungs house? and its not our fault you're here all the time jay 

sunghoon: i mean we could always just eat here. you okay with that? *sunghoon looks to jake and he nods*

heeseung: let’s just order food then. jay can pay

jay: what the fuck?

jake: not all of us have trust funds 

sunghoon: yeah

jay: i think heeseung should pay because he cut my paycheck

heeseung: you were late! you know the policy you goofball 

*jay starts laughing at heeseungs insult and heeseung laughs with him*

jake: they can’t be serious for two seconds

sunghoon: like you’re any different let’s just split 

jay: yeah okay fine 

jake: okay now rate my snacks jay!

jay: i think they were 10/10 and i love whatever jake gives me. 

jake: this is why you’re my favorite

jay: okay no i hate you

*heeseung and sunghoon laugh at jake’s expression*

jay: you’re weird about the whole girlfriend thing!

jake: hinge is restricting!! 

heeseung: okay just sign out god we can argue some other time 

jake: this is not arguing! this is healthy communicating take notes guys!

jay: false our relationship is nowhere near healthy he’s mean to me. *sunghoon and heeseung laugh some more, making jay laugh with them*

jake: *speaking louder over all of the laughing* okay well thanks for joining us today at round table, please like share and comment on this video and we’ll see you guys next week! bye bye!! 

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » got carried away.. as always. this chapter may seem filler ish but i wanted you all to get to know round table and their silly selves a bit better 😕 pls don’t hate them guys

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[familyvideostevie]

𝟭𝟮 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀: 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝘄𝗼

day two: mistletoe with eddie | domestic fluff, 1k 12 days of christmas masterlist

The insulation in the trailer isn't nearly well-done enough so you spend a lot of December huddled under the blankets with Eddie in his bedroom when you're both off work. Some days you read to yourselves or sometimes out loud to each other, others you watch him work on a campaign or listen to him practice his guitar. This week you've been baking lots of Christmas cookies and other warm things for Wayne to take to work at night as the days get shorter and the holidays press in on you. 

It's your first Christmas with Eddie and you're excited to love him through this part of the year. Everyone deserves a little extra love during the holidays, and Eddie Munson is no exception, even if he wasn't your boyfriend. And your plan is to practically smother him in it -- which he seems totally game for and very eager to reciprocate. 

Tonight you're going for a walk around the trailer park to look at the holiday lights. People really went all out this year -- you've seen two blow up raindeer and one giant menorah -- and you love walking hand in hand with him in the dark as he swings your joined fingers between you, humming a Christmas song you played on the radio earlier. Your breaths puff out in front of you as you round the corner and see his trailer just down the street, it's own beacon of light. 

"What are we gonna do for the rest of the night?" you ask him as he keeps humming. His cheeks are pink and his ears are even pinker. You frown a little, remembering that his hat is on your head because you forgot one today. 

"Maybe a movie? It's your pick if you wanna do that," he says. "But we can't do White Christmas without Wayne."

"It's a little cold," you say slowly, letting him know you're about to be cheeky. "Maybe I could do with some warming up." You bump shoulders with him at your tease and he laughs, the sound bright and wonderful in the otherwise quiet night air.

"Are you flirting with me?" he asks. You pretend to think about it as you reach the Munson trailer. The lights you two put up this week look great and you smile as you take them in. 

"I might be," you tell him. "So what if I am?" Eddie pulls you to the bottom step but doesn't walk up them. You look at him with confusion, at his warm brown eyes and his long lashes, his cloud of hair that should be under a hat. He's so pretty and he's yours. 

"Then I think you better go all the way," he says. You're about to ask him what on earth he's talking about when he reaches into his back pocket and produces a slightly crushed sprig of what seems to be mistletoe. 

You laugh. "Eddie," you say, his name soft in your mouth. "How long have you been carrying that around?" He shrugs and grins at you as he holds up the sprig so it's hanging between you. The movement pulls up his layers a little bit and you see a sliver of his stomach. You fight the urge to press your cold hand there to make him yelp. 

"Gotta follow the rules, sweetheart," he says softly. "Guess you gotta kiss me." He looks so smug you almost refuse just out of principle. But when it comes to Eddie you always seem to give in. 

"Oh, what a tragedy," you say before you pull on his coat and press your lips together a little too hard, teeth clacking. He laughs before he pulls back and adjusts, his nose rubbing against yours as he kisses you at a better angle. This kiss is more earnest, the kind he gives you when he hasn't seen you all day, when you tell him you're sad, when he really wants you to know he loves you. He eases into your mouth, licking his way inside languidly, like he has all the time in the world. He shifts and realize he dropped the mistletoe when you feel his cold hand on your cheek, the metal of his rings pressing into your skin as his ring finger settles on your pulse point. 

You pull away just a hair and Eddie trails his lips across your cheek to nibble at your jawline. 

"If we keep this up much longer someone is gonna yell at us for public indecency," you say, voice a little hoarse. 

"Let 'em," he says into your skin. "I'd love to see Hopper come out here to find us playing tonsil hockey." You bark out a surprised laugh. 

"Eddie!" He snickers. "Or, we can go inside and warm up. No public indecency necessary." You shove his shoulders just a little and he pulls away fully with a put-upon sigh. 

"Fine," he sighs, digging in his pockets for his key even though his pupils are a little too blown. While he unlocks the door you scoop up the sprig of mistletoe from the steps. "What're you doing that for?" he asks you as he unlocks the door. "S'just a weed."

"I'm gonna save it," you tell him, a little embarrassed. "Press it in my journal." Eddie looks at you so fondly you think you might melt right there in his front yard. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm not laughing, sweetheart," he says. He holds the door open for you and you make to go inside but he gently grabs your waist at the threshold. "You're just the cutest thing I've ever seen." You tuck your chin into your chest but he taps it with his knuckle. "You just had your tongue in my mouth and you're embarrassed about this?" He leans in to kiss your cheek and it makes a loud smacking noise. "Christ, I love you."

You roll your eyes at his antics. "Can we go inside now?" you ask him. You plan to show him just how much you love him, even if he's teasing you. And you're not about to do that on the porch. 

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, masterlist here!

[ghouls-and-chems]

A John Hancock (Fallout 4) x Sole Survivor OC Fanfic

Rating: Mature (MDNI)

You are responsible for the content you consume. This work of fiction is intended for those that are 18+.

Tags:

John Hancock x Female Sole Survivor, John Hancock x Sole survivor OC, Fluff, Slow Burn, Angst, Mystery, Slight Alternate universe, Violence, Mature language, Smut. (this will be updated as I continue to write this)

Summary

Having survived 3 weeks on the surface, Bonnie Labelle finds herself in GoodNeighbor looking for answers to her awakening in a Vault. She has no memory of what happened just before she entered the Vault or even the start of the war. And she herself is shocked by her skills when surviving. The mayor of GoodNeighbor is just as shocked and intrigued by how she’s survived this long.

Click Here For Chapter One

As Bonnie worked to regain her strength, John Hancock organized a room for her to stay in with the Hotel Redford. Explaining her situation to a woman named Clair Hutchins.

Bonnie could hardly believe how kind and cordial people were here. Well except for the man the mayor stabbed. But she figured that’s why he was stabbed to begin with.

Everyone treated the ghoul so normally. And their interaction in the state house was convincing her, he wasn’t something for her to fear.

And he definitely had a lot of power around here.

“ I’ve got some things to attend to.” He said as she looked around the tattered hotel room. A simple mattress. A broken dresser. And a broken nightstand. For the wasteland, this really wasn’t all that bad. Compared to sleeping on the concrete floor of a closet in an old shop. The old tattered mattress was like a beckoning cloud for her to rest on.

“ So take your time adjusting. And perhaps we can have a chat in the third rail later.” He said with a grin. “ I’ll treat you to a drink.”

She turned and observed him as he nodded his head and turned to walk out.

“ Why are you like this?” She suddenly asked. The words escaping her mouth before she could filter them. She shook her head trying to find what she meant to say.

“ What? A ghoul?” He asked with a chuckle.

“ No..” she said quickly. “ Well I mean… I suppose I’m curious about that too but..” she took a breath. “ I mean you’re actually being… a person. Everyone I’ve met so far has either tried to kill me or wanted something in return for just speaking to them..” she explained slowly.

“ You could have easily killed me when I passed out earlier… and you didn’t…. You took care of me.” She explained.

“ Goodneighbor is for the people by the people.” Hancock explained crossing his arms as he leaned against the door frame. “ Which means we take care of each other here.” He said matter of factly.

“ You clearly need help… with what? I don’t know just yet but we got all the time in the world.” He shrugged. “ Not everyone in the commonwealth is going to hurt or kill you. Just… maybe the majority.” He joked with a chuckle.

“ Plus… a vault dweller like yourself is even more vulnerable. There’s some things you gotta learn if you’re gonna stay up here. And based on what you’ve told me, you don’t have much of a choice but to learn.” He explained.

“ So I’ll offer help. It’s just up to you if you want it.” He smiled.

She listened to his words closely before slowly nodding. Her shoulders relaxed a bit, as she smiled back at him.

“ Thank you, Mayor.” She said after a moment. “ I really am grateful. Though I may appear stand-offish. I truly appreciate the help.”

Hancock’s eyebrow raised. Her kindness and well spoken words were odd to hear. She seemed so proper. And pristine. So clean and perfect. It intimidated him a bit.

He simply tilted his hat up a bit and smirked. “ No need for that mayor crap. Just call me, Hancock.” He chuckled.

“ I’ll leave you to rest.” He said as he pushed himself off the door frame and left her alone.

She took a breath and laid down thinking over this strange new reality of hers. Ghouls. Vault Dwellers. It felt like a nightmare.

Being in Goodneighbor did provide some comfort. It felt similar to the world she once knew.

Hancock had the kindness of a politician.

She furrowed her brow.

Politicians were part the reason this happened to begin with though. She couldn’t come to terms with trusting him just yet. Or the people here.

As her mind raced she dosed off again. Her body recovering with much needed rest.

When she awoke, the clock on the wall said it was 8PM. And the town sounded more lively outside through the broken window.

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she stood up and leaned out the window. Down below the hotel, residents talked casually. Armed gunman talked with them. She overheard conversations about their daily lives. The errands they needed to run. Some gossip about other residents and settlements.

She couldn’t help but smile as she listened to their conversations.

After letting herself wake up more she pulled away from the window and looked to her armor on the dresser. Hancock mentioned meeting to talk more in the third rail. Would her armor be needed?

She shook her head.

If I want to fit in here I need to relax. Just a bit.

She left her armor and her rifle. But slipped a knife into the pocket of her tattered dress.

Before leaving the hotel she asked Clair where the Third rail was. And followed her directions to the supposed bar.

She was curious what a bar in this world would be like. As she entered the bouncer looked at her curiously. As she met his gaze she fought the urge to look away from fear. Another ghoul.

She simply offered a small smile. He smiled back and welcomed her inside, down a long dark hallway. As she neared closer to the end, she could hear faint music, and a lovely voice accompanying it. Along with some drowned out chatter.

As the hallway opened up to the bar, her nerves relaxed a bit more. Patrons sat around lounging with their drinks. She could smell cigarette smoke and alcohol, but the voice of the woman caught her attention even more.

A beautiful woman sang in the corner on a makeshift stage. She wore a gorgeous red dress. Her hair was jet black, cut short. She was absolutely stunning.

Her voice only matched her appearance perfectly. She was completely mezmerozied by her as she sang. Her worries drained away, as she smiled watching the woman sing.

“ She’s got quite a set of pipes huh?” A familiar voice broke her hypnosis to her right. She turned to meet Hancock’s eyes.

She nodded eagerly as she looked back at her. “ She’s absolutely gorgeous.”

“ I’d say magnolia is the diamond of the wasteland.” He said with a chuckle as he took a drink from his glass.

“ What’s your vice?” He asked, nudging her arm. “ I said I’d treat ya to a drink.”

She eyed what he was drinking curiously. Looked clear. Perhaps Vodka. Hopefully, Vodka.

“ What’s yours?” She asked.

“ Much harder stuff than this.” he laughed. “ But this is just some vodka.”

She relaxed. “ I'm really relieved to know vodka is still available.” She said with a laugh.

He chuckled as he ushered her over to the bar, where he ordered her her own drink. She noticed he handed the bartender some bottle caps. Her eyebrows furrowed.

“ Bottle caps?” she asked curiously as he handed her the glass.

“ Yeah. Guess you haven't figured that out yet. Caps are the currency here. Well just about everywhere in the commonwealth.” He shrugged as he guided her to a separate room just outside the bar. Magnolia’s angelic voice, still in ear distance, but quieter for them to speak to one another.

“ Oh…” she said softly, recalling all the Nuka-Cola caps she had tossed when she was lucky enough to find them for substance the past few weeks. “ Whoops” She whispered.

Hancock chuckled and sat down on a lounge chair. She sat across from him on a loveseat. The room was lit with red lighting, posters from the old world hung around as decor.

She lifted the glass to her lips and sipped the bitter liquid. Her body reacted with pleasure. Her nerves felt more at ease almost instantly. Hancock noticed immediately.

“ Oh yeah. You definitely needed that.” he chuckled. “ You ever need something stronger we can work something out. But that’ll do for now. Did you get some good rest?”

She nodded as she took another sip. “ Yeah actually. I haven't slept on a mattress in… “ She furrowed her brow.

Hancock raised an eyebrow. “ In…? You don’t remember?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“ well… That’s surprising. Always heard rumors you vault dwellers had a luxurious style down there. At least that’s what I’ve heard about Vault 81. They actually trade with us surface folk.” He said in confusion, taking another sip of his drink.

“ or yanno, dead bodies left over from whatever horrible shit the old folk decided to do to one another.” He sighed.

She looked at him confused. “ Why would they be different?” She asked.

He shrugged. “ No idea. All I know is I'm glad to have been born up here. Where I had the freedom to take control of my own fate… at least to some degree.” He chuckled.

“ So what was your vault’s deal? They just kick you out..? Or..?”

She shook her head and sighed. “ No… I…” She sighed. “ I woke up from this.. Pod. Like I was frozen. I was freezing for hours after I got out. I passed out in this.. Lab” she said trying to recall her first moments out of the pod.

“ Frozen?” Hancock said, leaning on his knees holding his glass between them. “ Aint that something.”

She nodded. “ When I came to, I got to explore a bit.. But I didn't find much.. Or rather I couldn't find much. I found a rifle and a way out. Everything looked like.. My home. But ruined. I found my old house, with some tattered things I remembered I owned. Luckily this dress was in an old suitcase I forgot about.” She said as she gestured to her attire.

He chuckled. “ It suits you.” he complimented. “ very well.. But you do stand out in it up here.”

She smiled at his compliment and nodded. “ yeah I’ve realized.” She laughed softly. “ I didn't know what to do so I just… kept walking.” She shrugged. “ I met these traveling settlers. Who explained some stuff to me.. Like the date, the war, and a bit of what to look out for…”

“ Why didn't you join them?” Hancock asked curiously.

“ because another group swooped in and killed all of them.” she said bluntly. After a moment she explained.

“ I tried to help. I killed some of them.. I had never killed anyone before and I just..” She took a breath. “ I took what I could from the aftermath after they finally left their bodies.” She said in shame.

“ And I just kept walking.”

Hancock stared at her with a solemn expression. It was silent between the both of them as they stared at one another.

“ I’m sorry.” he finally broke the silence. “ I know that couldn't have been easy to walk away from.”

She remained silent.

“ That’s just what it’s like up here.” he shrugged and observed her face. Her green eyes were hollow. Full of exhaustion and sadness. He frowned as he tried to think of how to shift her mind off of what happened.

“ So when did you go under the ice?” He asked.

She sighed. “ I don’t know the exact date. I can’t remember… but the last date I saw before I woke up was October 2nd, 2077–”

Hancock nearly spit out his drink. “ What”

She looked at him and sighed with a nod. “ Yeah… I was 27.. So I guess now I’m..”

“ 237 years old..” he said with a look of shock and bewilderment. He sat back in the chair. “ Holy shit.”

She nodded as she took another, much large sip of her drink.

“ And you don’t remember anything after that date? At all?” he asked.

She shook her head. “ The biggest mystery to me right now is why I was in the vault before the bombs dropped. Those settlers said they dropped on October 23rd, 2077.”

He nodded. “ So you were in there for a few weeks before you even needed to be…” He theorized.

She opened her mouth to speak when she was interrupted by a woman’s voice.

“ Well hello there Mayor. I see you’ve shown your guest the VIP room”

Bonnie turned to see the stunning woman who was singing just moments before. She looked more beautiful up close.

“ yes ma’am.” He said proudly.

“ And I trust you’re being the perfect gentleman.” She joked as she sat on the arm chair of Bonnie’s seat.

“ Only if she wants me to be, honestly.” He said with a wink and a smirk before drinking from his class.

“ Im only teasing.” he chuckled.

“ Hey there, doll. I’m Magnolia. I sing here. Who might you be?” She asked with a kind smile.

Bonnie straighted up and held her hand out. “ Bonnie Labelle… You have a beautiful voice.”

“ Why thank you!” She said with an even bigger smile. “ I love your dress… but it does look to be a bit tattered.”

Bonnie sighed. “ Yeah.. haven't had much of a fashion choice around here.” She laughed. “ Seems you got everything here but a fashion boutique.” She joked.

Magnolia laughed. “ I like her can we keep her?” She said looking to Hancock. “And she’s right. We need a seamstress or something, Mayor. Imagine the crowds I could draw in with even more stunning outfits”

Hancock chuckled. “ Those are hard to come by these days but…” he shrugged. “ For you, Magnolia, I’m sure we could figure something out.”

Magnolia chuckled and looked back to Bonnie.

“ I’m sure those clothes aren't as comfortable as they once were. Mind if I steal her for a moment, Hancock?”

Hancock smiled. “ Up to her. I don’t own her.” He joked.

Bonnie laughed softly and looked at Magnolia.

“ Come along then. Let’s get you some new clothes. I need more friends with fashion expertise.” She said pulling Bonnie up and dragging her out of the room.

This woman was so graceful. And hard to say no to. Bonnie envied her immediately, and loved the idea of being her friend.

Friends must be a hard thing to make now. So far, the company she was in would be perfect though.

Magnolia led her to an upstairs room. “ This here is my home. Just above the bar.” She explained as she led Bonnie to a closet in the corner, beside her bed.

“ I don’t got much. But I definitely have things I do not and will not wear so let’s have a look..” She murmured as she opened the closet full of clothes. She pulled some pieces out and laid them across the bed for Bonnie to observe.

An old dress. Some pants. A black coat. A Leather yellow jacket. A few simple tops.

“ There we go.. Take your pick” Magnolia said proudly.

“ These are in such good condition…” Bonnie commented.

“ Why thank you, Doll.” She said proudly. “ Need to look nice for my sets of course. I do what I can to keep my clothing in pristine condition.”

Bonnie smiled. “ Are you sure it’s okay for me to take some clothes?”

Magnolia nodded eagerly. “ Please do.. Just means I get to have one of the boys to find me more.” She winked.

Bonnie chuckled and grabbed the yellow leather jacket. It looked like something she could wear and blend in better.

Along with a pair of black jeans, and a top. It was simple. But not eye catching. Just what she needed.

She smiled to herself. “ These will do just fine.”

Magnolia smiled and turned around giving her privacy to change.

“ You know, the mayor does not always just kill someone for a guest… even if Finn was somewhat of a nuisance.” She chuckled.

Bonnie took her dress off, slipping on the clean black jeans and top with ease. “ He seems like the type to take no shit to be honest…”

“ You’ve got that right.” Magnolia chuckled. “ But… he’s taken interest. So you must be one hell of a mystery for him to focus on.”

“ A mystery for sure. But I’m sure the mayor is busy with his own things. I'll be out of here once I figure out what it is I'm meant to do up here.” She sighed.

“ He’s a great guy. Is all I’m saying. I can tell you’re uneasy around him. But don’t let his looks fool you. He’s got a big heart.” She laughed softly. “ you can trust him.”

“ How did you know I was nervous with him?” Bonnie asked as she slipped the yellow jacket on.

“ Women’s intuition I guess… You seemed on the fence when it comes to trust. And I get it. From what I’ve heard, you aint from the surface. So I can only imagine what you’ve had to see and do to get here.”

Bonnie stayed silent as she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked more like a surface dweller. It helped ease her nerves a bit more.

“ Look at you.” Magnolia whistled. “ Looking good!”

Bonnie smiled and turned to her and smiled. After a moment she sighed. “ If people like you and the mayor still exist up here… I think I’ll be okay.” She said coming to terms with her trust in the mayor and Goodneighbor.

[aemonds-wifey]

An Unexpected Summer Meeting

Chapter 2

You sat vacantly at the blank piece of paper that sat before you on the table. You had written the first sentence in your head but somehow you were unable paint them to the paper.

No word from George, so you decided to take the initiative and try to speak first.

You missed home, you missed George and even missed your days at work. You tutted to yourself to only imagine how Gretchen, the other girl who worked whenever you were not in.

As you intertwined the pen between your fingers you heard footsteps coming down the stairs , Norman was ready for his day. Your uncle was a big sweet man, a lonely man but he had space enough in his heart for anybody- he reminded you of what Santa would look like, all they Norman was missing was a red hat , an overcoat and black boots.

He reached the bottom step and looked at you “Writing your memoirs love?”

He joked

You laughed “No I was…going to write to mother and father but I think I’ll leave it.” You said putting the pen down slowly and brushing the paper to one side .

You noticed Norman get his coat on “Where are you off then?” You asked

He looked at you as he put his cap on “oh I’m off to do the paper round…” he picked up the stack of pacifist papers he had by the table.

He knew how you felt about the war, you both discussed it at length since you arrived.

As he buttoned his coat up and adjusted his hat he looked at you “You can come with if you want? Gonna meet my friend afterwards and go for a pint.”

As tempting as the invite was you did not feel quite up for it.

“Which friend is this Norm?” You asked

“Douglas. He’s a good man. Fought in the Great War with him…sound man. You’d like him.” He answered.

You nodded “Maybe some other time. I hope you’re successful and stop us from joining in any potential war.” You said picking your pen back up.

He nodded “I’ll be back later. What are you up to today?”

You sighed “I might go for a wander later..but I won’t stay out to long just till maybe 5 or 6.”

He dug down in his pocked and produced a key. He tossed it onto the table “there you go…just in case I’m still out . But be mindful. These streets are different to the ones in Didcot.” He smiled lightly

You nodded “I’ll be careful. Thanks Norm.”

He tipped his hat and within seconds he left the house. You inhaled sharply as you looked around, your eyes fell to the paper again, and once again the words failed you.

You started to write

Dear George

I hope this finds you well.

Manchester is certainly full of sights and life..but not the same as Oxford and no the sights I had planned for our first summer together. Only two weeks and it feels like an eternity since I saw you.

How is it back in Oxford? I wonder how you are keeping yourself occupied, probably preparing for your interview for your Masters at the university. You must remind me of the date and how you get on. Also remind me when you are traveling to Devon

My uncle is a kind man, a pacifist just like you and I. Hr had a lovely home, poor man is on his own- his wife sadly passed not long after the end of the Great War, they had no children of their own but he seems Happy enough. He has friends and colleagues at the factory where he works during the week…He spends a lot of time trying to pass of a paper of peace , seems he’s just as keen to stop us going to any form of war that may come round.

I am sorry it s short but I eagerly await for response…I’m counting down the weeks until We can meet under the oak tree outside of Basildon and pick up where we left off.

Yours,

Y/N

You found an envelope and folded the piece of paper inside. Writing the address on and placing a stamp delicately on the top right corner. You got up and wrapped yourself in your thin navy coat and took the letter and spare key.

*

You had posted the letter, now George’s response gave you something to look forward to . You took yourself For an aimless walk after that, thinking how you should be talking a stroll by the ashmolean museum, how you both would go in and enjoy soaking up some culture - but that was a dream that you had to postpone. You found yourself exploring the neighborhood , children were playing on the streets - families were enjoying the summer afternoon and you grew envious of couples walking past flaunting their happiness …you felt like the only single person in the world.

Your attention was immediately drawn to what looked like an old Library, naturally you couldn’t resist. The library reminded you of the Bodleian Library. The smell of old books resonating in the air, the sight of students reading vigorously …all the while you could hear a pin drop it was so quiet. As the silence crept in your heads your thoughts kept dwelling on home and George. You mindfully gave yourself a little head-shake and headed back outside.

As you stepped out of the library you accidentally brushed past a man, a few of the papers he held onto fell to the ground and you immediately went down to help pick them

Up “ I’m so sorry sir!” You exclaimed.

“Don’t worry lass I wasn’t paying attention.” He said.

His accent was thick but he had a pleasant tone to him.

You noticed he wore a cap similar to Norman’s, you briefly met his eyes and you could see he had lived a life- though fear seemed to be a constant mask

He wore. You picked up the papers snd handed them to it

“Ah thank you kindly.” He said with a small smile.

“I do apologize I hope I did not hurt you .” You said

He shook his head “It’s okay .” A small frown grew “Your not from round here are ya?”

You shrugged with a little smile “What gave me away?”

“The accent…Reading ?” He asked

“Oxford. “ you answered

“Ah so close. First time in Manchester ?”

You nodded “Yes I’m having an explore …whilst I can before war happens.” You said with a distant hint of disappointment

He handed you one of the leaflets he was holding “Here love…bit of reading if your interested.”

You took it , seeing the words “pledge for peace” in bold letters on the top “Thank you sir. Nice to meet someone else who objects to the barbarity of war like I do.”

He had a proud smile and chuckled slightly “Where does a young lady like you get thinking like that?”

You laughed a little too and tapped your head with your index finger “Not sure but I know it could get me in bother. “

He laughed “Smart lass. Well I will not keep you…i best be off.”

“Thank you…take care.” You said as he tipped his cap and walked in the opposite direction.

As he left the square you read the paper he let you keep, it was a bloody good read to you. So much so you read it again, taking in every word. You were so engrossed with it you lost track of time and before you knew it , the day had almost escaped you. It was getting that dark you had to stop by a lamp to read the last part. You stood still reading the last part and started to fold the paper up nearly.

“Letter from your lover?” A voice caught you off guard and you Held The leaflet behind your back.

A man stood there with a half empty bottle in his hand, he approached you slightly as you took a step

Back

“It’s nothing .” You said as you attempted to walk away calmly

“Oh come on love let’s have a gander” he said taking another step, as you turned to leave he lunged forward and managed to snatch the piece of paper out of your hands. He read it, and frowned “Pledge for Peace?” Who gave you this ?”

You didn’t answer you just looked at him “nobody it’s mine.”

He scoffed “Old man Bennett probably or that fool Eugene.”

You didn’t answer you just took another step back “If you wanted entertaining love all you need is to ask.” He said taking another gulp , the stench of booze invaded your nostrils, seeing you were repulsed he took another drink

“I’ve already had some laughs tonight thanks I do not need another from you.”

He almost spat the booze from his mouth, “Such a pretty mouth and such hard words. Think you need to be taught some manners.” he angrily threw the paper to the ground before your feet and stamped on it. He took one long step and you knocked the bottle out of his hand , the crash of the glass breaking was sure to alert somebody. As he was distracted by the destruction of his booze you ran down the street of terraced houses, hoping to come across a corner soon. For a drunk he was surprisingly able to keep up, you finally found a corner and within seconds of turning into it you collided with someone by the corner lamp. Your hand immediately stretched onto his chest as she looked up and was met with a surprised smile, accompanied by tender coral blue eyes that glowed. Your fingers scrunched his shirt as a reflex , he knew something was amiss , yet he did not shove you away.

Under the lamp light. You had a look of panic that eased slightly as he recognized your look and put his arm around you , as if you had both communicated secretly. You didn’t know this man but you had no choice but to stay where you are, you caught a scent of nicotine and musk on his shirt, slightly intoxicating and refreshing compared to the heavy booze you were exposed to moments ago.

The exhausted pants of the drunk Man caught up with you, he stopped mere feet away when he saw you were not alone.

“Alright love been looking for you everywhere !” The man who held you said.

You forced a small smile “Sorry lost track of time.” You answered more confidently than you expected.

The drunk man pointed “Oi Your bird here owes me a bottle of booze…knocked it right out my hand.”

The stranger only tightened his grip on your forearm “Good. Smells like you’ve had plenty.” He said.

“She ran away from me! Just wanted to show her a..” he hiccuped.

“Clearly she don’t want you to show her anything mate. ”

“Your bird was rude she needs some manners shown!” His slurred words only made the stranger chuckle with an arrogance that you found enlightening “mate go home yeah? Show some respect and go.”

“I’ll bloody show you both!” The drunk man made a clumsy swing with his right hand , the man who held you swirled you around out of harms way before grabbing the drunk fool

By the scruff of the neck and holding him against The wall, you clasped your hand over your mouth as you watched him.

“I won’t ask again mate. Piss off before I knock your lights out!” The stranger then dropped him, the drunk man took one last glance at you and stumbled his way out into the distance and out of sight. The stranger turned to you as he straightened out his dark blue jacket. He ran his fingers through his musty brown hair and faced you “Alright love?”

Usually you would run away, but despite his aggressive defense of you, you were in no hurry to leave.

“Yes I…thank you .” You said “I don’t know what I would have done.”

“Ah I think you could have managed , he wouldn’t have been able to keep up .” He said.

“ I’m sorry I bumped into you like that.” You apologized

He shrugged smiling “I’m not.” His smile then turned into concern “seriously alright though?”

You nodded “I am yes…thank you for helping honestly I don’t know what to say.” You patted down your own coat and flipped your hair back from your shoulders

“Could tell me why he thought you were rude - you don’t seem the type .” He smiled.

His devilish smile actually made you glad it was dark, as you felt your cheeks go flush with attraction.

“I don’t think he liked what I classed as a good read. A nice man gave me a pamphlet as I left the library in the square peace pledge stuff.” You explained

He nodded “Ah I see...into the pacifism are ya?”

You gave one nod “I don’t think war is ..always the solution.”

He nodded with you and looked around “You live far?”

You also looked around and panic struck you “I think…I can’t remember …oh shoot which way is my uncles house.”

He chuckled lightly “What street is it? “

You briefly closed your eyes to try and remember “Erm Green Street.”

He smiled “This way.”

You were hesitant at first , he looked at you “What?”

“I…don’t even know your name and you’re leading me off somewhere .” You said with the shy smile that made him step and reassure you by offering his hand “Tom.”

You shook it “Y/N.”

He did not let go and neither did you, he shook it a while longer - his hands were surprisingly gentle with odd scratches on his fingers.

He smiled “Green street is just round here.”

He started to walk and lead you around the corner and onto the street, you hardly recognized it even with the street lights to guide you …you truly felt completely alien.

“First time in Manchester is it?” He asked as you passed the doors of houses.

You nodded “Yeah..and I think this has been my first night of excitement .” You joked “ah here.”

You remembered the shape of the door for your uncles house .

“Hopefully not your first and only night.” He asked leaning against the wall beside the door , watching you search your pockets for your keys.

“We shall see…” you found it “Well Tom…thank you again for rescuing me. “

He winked “My pleasure. I swear Manchester isn’t full of drunken bums.”

You laughed “Well if I can thank you in anyway ..” you locked eyes with him for a moment and you were sure his eyes were staring into your soul, a moment passed between you and you clumsily tried to unlock the door as you opened it he spoke

“Well I don’t know how long you’re staying…but I don’t want you to leave thinking it’s bad here…what are you doing tomorrow ?” He asked

You stood in the door way, nervously fidgeting with your key “If my uncle gets his way probably selling the peace leaflets”

He shook his head “Na. You won’t be. Meet me at thaw library steps tomorrow …midday …what do ya say?”

You did not have to think twice, he seemed genuine but there was something about him that was equally mysterious and roguish …you were curious.

“Sure…I’ll come by.” You said with half a smile

He wore that cheeky smile again “Great.” He popped his hands in his coat pocket “See ya tomorrow Y/N.” , as he strutted away you watched him pick out a cigarette and light it. The smoke blew up in the air as he grew more distant . You smiled and closed the door and leant against it. Catching your breath and imagining what would transpire tomorrow. You could smell the nicotine and delicate musk in your fingers from when your hand held onto his shirt upon your first contact …you inhaled them in and stayed by the door a few moments longer

Chapter 3

TAGS

@schniiipsel @moonchildrenandflowercrowns @mischiefmanaged71 @dothrckis @virginslut08 @nolongereviliwantlove @motley-baby @bcon24

[ladyfly]

I'll Be Seeing You pt4

Sun hops off the table as Moon sits up "Sun? Where are we? Did we make it?"

You chuckle "Yeah you made it."

Moon turns to you "STARLIGHT!"

You throw your hands up "SHHHH! Don't wake the kids! We just got them to sleep!"

Moon tilts his head "Children? You remarried?"

You shake your head "We have a lot to talk about. Also, no I did not! You two are still my husbands." You smile softly "After I thought you two died I moved away. After that, I tried to rebuild Sun. It didn't feel right though. I abandoned the project. A year later I used the project to build my son Aster." You brush some hair out of your eyes "He's seven now. Two years later I built my little girl Nebula. Aster named her."

Moon tugged at his hat "And... who is she based on?"

You smile "You. Who else?"

Moon looks so lovestruck "We have kids!"

You nod with a grin "I expect you to help me with them."

Moon nods and reaches out for you. You take him in your arms with a happy hum. Sun pulls you both into a big hug.

You fight tears "I thought I lost you forever."

Moon sniffles "We did too."

Sun softly kisses the top of your head "It was worth it. Everything! Worth it to finally be free from the company! We get to be a family with kids! Oh Moon they are so per-"

A cry cuts him off "NEBI!"

It's your daughter. You jump up so fast you knock the stool over. You rush up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and into her room. Your heart drops when you don't see her but you calm slightly when you spot the lump under the blankets.

You turn the lights on "Nebula, baby, are you ok? What's wrong?"

Moon trails into the room behind you. He slowly walks around the room taking it in.

Nebula uncovers her head and points to the closet "I had a nightmare there was a monster in my closet! Can you look for me?"

Moon opens the door to the closet "Hm... I don't see any monsters. If there are any monsters... I'll EAT THEM!"

Nebula squeals "DADA!" She jumps from the bed and tackles Moon.

He catches her in his arms "Daddy?"

He takes a good look at her. She looks so much like him. Moon is unsure what to say to the girl. She cries in his arms clutching him tightly. Moon rocks her back and forth like he did for other kids back a the daycare.

You sigh fondly "Nebula, You ready to go back to sleep?"

Nebula nods "Can I sleep with you, dada, and papa tonight?"

You hum "I don't know..."

"I wanna sleep with you too!" Aster blurts from the doorway.

You turn and frown "And why are you awake?"

Aster point at Nebula "She woke me up."

You nod "Well..."

Sun pipes up "I don't mind!"

Nebula gives you puppy eyes "Please Nebi?"

You recoil slightly.

Aster whines "Please??"

You sigh and glance at Moon, he nods "Alright! Wait here with your sister while we go get changed for bed."

Aster and Nebula let out a loud "YES!"

You shake your head and lead Sun and Moon to your room. The bed is massive. It has red sheets and a black comforter. Opposite the bed is the master closet. To the opposite end of the room is the master bathroom. You fetch clothes from your closet.

You toss Sun and Moon shirts and shorts. You slip some on for yourself. None of you watch the others undress. Too shy and nervous. The three of you return to your kids. Nebula holds her arms out. Sun picks her up and carries her bridal style.

Moon looks down at Aster "You must be Aster."

Aster nods "Yeah. Are you my Dad?"

Moon nods "I am."

Aster holds his arms out.

Moon picks him up in a hug "I missed you."

Aster gasps "You did? But you didn't even know me?"

Moon nods "I don't need to know you to know I missed you."

Aster frowns at him "Are you gonna leave?"

Moon shakes his head "No. I'll stay as long as you want me and an eternity more."

Aster tilts his head "What's an eternity?"

Moon follows you and Sun back to your room "It's forever."

Aster leans forward "That's a long time!"

Moon rolls his eyes "Not long enough!"

You pull the covers back and adjust the pillows.

Nebula yawns "Nebi you need to be in the middle!"

Aster nods "I wanna sleep next to dad!"

Nebula nods "Good! I wanted Papa."

Sun tears up. His kid wants him. He and Moon wanted a family for so long! Now they have one! And they want Sun and Moon back! You lay down in bed. Nebula on your right and Aster on your left. Sun turns the light off and crawls in next to Nebula.

Moon lays down next to Aster. Together he and Sun pull the covers up. Nebula begins to hum.

Moon gasps "IS that... The song I used to sing to you Starlight?"

You smile "It is. I taught that to her, You should hum along."

Moon squeaks like a toy before humming along. Nebula's eyes glow a soft rosy pink. In turn Moon light's his red eyes up.

Nebula gasps "You can do that too!"

Moon nods "I can. I used to be head of security."

Aster gasps "Like a knight!? That's so cool!"

Your eyes start to droop. Today was exciting and you are exhausted. You hear Sun chuckle and say something but you don't catch what it is. The last thing you register in your sleep-addled mind is Nebula kissing your cheek.