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xomakara · 11 months

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Only One For Me

SUMMARY | Hanging out with your friends at the hottest club in Chicago, you never expect to see Johnny after you had left the idol life, your friends and him after a scandal. Johnny says he misses you and shows you how much he really does miss you. PAIRINGS | Johnny/Fem!Reader GENRE | friends to lovers, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, dirty talk, angst, drama, fluff(?) towards the end. RATING | Mature LENGTH | 11,413 words AUTHOR'S NOTE | This was supposed to be short but I guess it turned out longer than I expected LOL. Once my fingers are on a roll, anything is possible haha. Anything in italics is spoken in Korean. Enjoy lol

Your music is not cut out for it. Who's gonna listen to that shit?

You shook those words from your mind as you tried to focus on what was happening in front of you. The lights were dimmed, there was pumped up music, countless sweaty bodies out on the dance floor, drunks making moves on men and women. It was hard not to focus on anything else but the music that the club was playing was horrible.

Who listened to this crap anymore?

You obviously didn’t.

“Ouu~ this song is my jam!” The dark-skinned girl next to you yelled out, wiggling in your seat. Tori was one of your best friends since high school and was notorious for being a party girl. Even at the age of twenty-eight, all she did was go to clubs, bars, and lounges.

And you blamed her for dragging you there.

“Everything is your jam, Tori!” Another woman, whose blond waves bounced about, yelled back. Becca was your other best friend from high school and was still the smartest person you knew. Since you left for Seoul a few years back, Becca was a successful business owner with a tendency to party nowadays. Tori was most likely rubbing off on her.

“Uh huh, but you’re dancing too!” Tori yelled right back. Both women wiggled in their seats, drinks in one hand.

You never really liked the club scene. You were much more reserved and preferred to be in a bar or lounge, where they tended to play better music and have less sweaty bodies. Those were the places where you got most of the inspiration for writing your own music. You were feeling a bit out of your element here.

“Come on, Y/N. Loosen up and let's get partying.” Becca danced in her seat next to you.

“No thanks.” You shook your head, swirling the alcoholic concoction in your hand with the stirrer. “I feel out of my comfort zone here.”

“Girl, don’t they party in Korea?” Becca asked, taking a sip of whatever drink she ordered, nodding her head to the music.

You shrugged. There were parties in Seoul but you were so busy working that you never had the time to go and party. Your days were packed with dance practices, song rehearsals, variety shows, music programs. It was hard being an idol.

Correction...

An ex-idol.

You used to be a member of a now popular girl group but left due to differences in music and joined another company. The group you were in, tended to go for the cute songs and concepts but because you were the oldest of the group, you wanted to try something new. Something sexy or mature. But the company and the other girls didn't like it. ‘We would lose our public appeal’, they said.

Another reason why you left, certain sources claimed, was the scandal with a very popular male idol with a huge fanbase. Well… that was how the media portrayed it. But there was some truth to the news.

Glad you’re out of the group. We don’t need a whore like you ruining our reputation. You really thought a girl like you could really be with a top idol like him? Dream on, Y/N.

You shook your head, clearing your mind of those bad memories. In the wake of your scandal, you asked your new company if you could take a leave of absence or go on an indefinite hiatus. They gave you permission, halting what little schedules you had. You cut all your ties to any idol friends and boarded the next available plane to come back to the States.

And here you were.

Back home with family and friends.

A place you could truly feel at home.

“I was so busy working that I didn’t have time to party or even go out for drinks.” You replied, taking a sip of your alcoholic beverage. “I feel like I’ve forgotten how to party.”

Tori placed her now empty glass on the table and reached forward to link arms with you and Becca. “Well, come on girl! You’re back home and away from all that negativity! So let’s just have fun and dance!”

She had a point. You were away from all that negativity. All those bad vibes. You had a chance to be free.

The music in this joint still sucked though.

Tori led Becca and you to a clearing in the middle of the dance floor. Back during your high school and college days, you were considered a horrible dancer that lacked confidence but you guess those dance training lessons paid off. You still weren't an amazing dancer like other Korean idols but you could still hold your own. Plus, the alcohol flowing through your body made you feel free and relaxed. Swaying your hips and occasionally doing some body rolls seemed to attract some attention towards your way. You were suddenly feeling the hype and despite the bad music, your body wouldn’t stop moving. You really couldn’t believe that you forgot how to have fun.

“Ouuu~what song is this?” Tori asked excitedly as the beat and tempo of the music changed.

“Are they performing this song live or something?” Becca asked from in front of you.

It wasn't typical club music. That quickly died down to be replaced with the sounds of a live band playing. Different yet familiar to your ears. The powerful drums, the rhythmic strumming of the guitars and bass, the beautiful melody coming from the keyboard. All sounds that were too familiar.

It couldn’t be, could it?

You shook your head and didn’t even bother to turn around to see who was playing. Chicago always had some new talent out in the streets and it wasn’t uncommon for aspiring singers to be playing a gig.

“I think it’s Korean.” You heard Becca call out.

“How do you know?” Tori asked her.

“I listen to enough K-Pop to know what Korean sounds like.” Becca stated matter of factly. Which was true since she showed you her extensive playlist of popular groups like Stray Kids, Got7, Infinite, etc. “I've never heard of these guys before though. But then again, their music isn’t really my style.”

“You sure it’s in Korean? Sounds like English to me.” Tori softly swayed to the music, joining the crowd that was enraptured by the live band playing and singers singing. “So this is what the bartender meant when he said that there was going to be live playing and singing later.”

“We'll take the highway to heaven And I can't wait to love you all alone (Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah) We'll take the highway to heaven On the 101, let's see just where it goes (Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah)”

Wait… what? Why did you know this song? And why does it sound like he’s here? It has to be a joke right? You shook your head and pushed the thought to the back of your mind. You were probably going crazy getting cooped up in your room all the time.

“Last call, are you coming with me? I got some things you want to see Tell all your friends that you're busy, they know They know we got the chemistry Love how your body feels on me When you get back, let me get that”

But why did those lyrics sound so damn familiar? You just couldn’t put your mind on it. You were going crazy, weren’t you? Yeah that had to be it.

“Baby you should know, I won't let you go I'll show you the world if you say so Oh, she's so bad (So bad) I'll make it last And baby, I can't leave you alone”

“Why does this song sound so familiar?” You muttered mostly to yourself but Becca heard.

“You know this song?” She asked, clearly feeling the music as she grooved to the pop song.

You shrugged, still a bit confused. This was clearly a Korean song but why is it sung in English? “Kind of. I mean it’s originally in Korean. Are they doing English covers of Korean songs?”

Becca shook her head. “The bartender said that it was a group of Korean men that was going to perform though. Maybe it’s an English version?”

Can’t be… Could it? The boys surely couldn’t be here… You doubt their company would send them to a venue like this. They would normally play in bigger venues.

“Damn, they’re good.” Tori muttered from next to you. She gave you a small smile and nodded to the stage, all the while swaying along to the song. “Do you know them by any chance?”

You sighed. You guess you could turn around and indulge your friends. You turned and it felt like your world ended.

Of all places...why here? Why at this time and place?

They danced as great as they always did. They sang with passion as they always did. They looked even more emotional than usual and when he turned his head towards your way while singing his lines, he caught your eyes. He didn’t falter even once as he locked his eyes on you. He continued dancing, those mesmerizing eyes piercing through your very soul. That sweet, velvety voice singing into the microphone, the sound of it ringing through your head.

God, you missed him.

You missed his voice, his face, the way his long fingers would push back his hair from his face. You missed his laughter, his smile, his eyes. You missed everything about him.

You turned back to Becca and Tori and took a deep breath. “I need some fresh air.”

They didn’t stop you as they continued to feel the music. You made your way towards the bar and asked for some water to hydrate your now dry throat. What will you say when they find you? What do you say when he talks to you? You shook your head and finished your water not noticing that the group finished their set and was replaced by another live band performing.

You turned to head towards the door to get a breather when you bumped into someone, spilling his drink all over the counter. “Oops! I’m so sorry!”

He turned to you and you saw that he was an Asian man of about five feet eleven inches and he seemed to have an air of sophistication on him. He raised his eyebrows when he saw you, his mouth opened slightly to speak.

Shit. Why Jeffrey of all people?

“It’s you! What are you doing here?” He asked in rapid Korean. “Do you know how much everyone has been asking about you?”

Oh no. What do you say?

“Hyung, there you are.” Another man approached him, his voice carefree and lighthearted. He looked at Jeffrey’s stunned face and then turned to you, his eyes going wide. “Oh! Noona! You were here all along?!”

Full Sun...

Fuck. You knew it. Once you saw one of them, you’ll end up seeing the rest of the guys. You turned away from them, leaving them stunned and a sputtering mess. “Sorry, I don’t know you!”

You pushed your way through the small crowd that gathered by the back door and went to an empty clearing. You needed to catch your breath. It’s been a year since you had seen anyone from the industry so why were they here of all places? Did they have a gig here somewhere in Chicago and decided to let loose or something?

You weren't paying attention as you bumped into something, rather someone, again. What the hell was wrong with you today? You were losing it. You had to be losing it. Seeing the group made you lose composure.

Yeah, that was it.

“You okay?” A voice said from above you. That voice. That smooth velvety voice.

Johnny.

You couldn’t hide so you looked up at him with uncertainty in your eyes. “I’m fine... It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

A soft chuckle. “Yeah it’s been a year. How have you been, Y/N?”

Breathe in and out, Y/N. In and out. “It’s been dandy. Just living life one step at a time. How have you and the boys been, Johnny?”

A smile and the sound of his clothes shuffling about. From the corner of your eyes, you saw him lift his hand but placed it back at his side. “Oh, you know. The usual. Making new music, performing with the guys.”

“So why are you guys here? Randomly partying?” You asked out of curiosity.

He nodded, slicking his hair back. “Yeah. You? I couldn’t help but see a few old friends with you.”

You shrugged. “Apparently I was too cooped up in my room writing music. Tori dragged me out.”

“You're still writing music?” He asked. You gave him a small nod. “I'd like to hear it one day.”

“One day…” You muttered, your voice drowning out when you heard the voices.

“I swore I saw her, Mark.”

“You sure Jaehyun? Y/N has been avoiding all of us. She hasn't even been picking up Johnny’s calls.”

“I saw her too, Mark.”

“Even you Haechan? Wow, where was I at?”

You scanned his profile. Has things changed since the last time you saw him a year ago? He was still tall but he seemed to gain muscle. He hadn’t changed one bit. You let out a soft chuckle. “Jaehyun saw me first. Then Haechan. I ran away from them.”

“That sounds like you.” He chuckled. He bit his lower lip, probably thinking of what to say next. “Everyone misses you.”

But did you? You weren't about to ask him that though. “Yeah, I missed everyone too.”

“Y/N, I-” He started but was cut short when you shook your head.

“It's okay, Johnny.” You muttered, shaking your head. “You don’t need to say anything.”

Out of the blue, someone pushed you and you landed into Johnny’s outstretched arms. You pulled back almost instantly and he looked at you with sad eyes. If it was before your scandal and departure, you wouldn't have minded it. You would have thought he was joking or something like he normally did. Teased you, slightly pushed you away but… He didn't. His eyes held a certain sadness in them, as if he was telling you he was sorry for everything that happened, telling you that it was alright, telling you that he didn't mean those words.

You wanted to hear those words out loud. You wanted…

What did you want?

He reached out, cupping your cheek. “Y/N. I missed you.”

A Year Ago

“But why noona?” Haechan asked.

The rumors and the hate you were getting about your scandal and departure from your ex-group was stressing you out that the new company you were with was having trouble trying to control the situation. You had come to visit one of your best friends in the industry, letting him and his group mates know that you were going on a hiatus indefinitely and that you were going back home to the States.

“Do you really have to go noona?” Jungwoo asked from the couch.

You nodded, your hand touching the scar you received a week ago on your neck. It wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. “Yes. I’m tired and I just want to go home.”

“But Y/N, how will we keep in contact?” Yuta asked, frowning next to Haechan.

“I'm always a phone call away.” You gave him a small smile. “You can always call me when you need to.”

“You’re going to be on the other side of the world.” Taeyong muttered, Doyoung nodding next to him. “It's going to be hard to contact you with our schedules and the time zone difference.”

“I know. I don’t want to do this but…” You trailed off and looked down at your feet.

“If you hadn’t gone to his house late at night, you wouldn’t be in this predicament.” Johnny muttered from his seat in the kitchen.

Here it comes again.

The fighting.

“And how was I supposed to know that some crazy paparazzi was going to be taking pictures?” You retaliated. This was not the first time that you and Johnny got into a heated argument about this topic. He felt so strongly about it and as much as you wanted to let it go, he always brought it back up. “He’s a friend. There was nothing going on between us.”

“Friend, my ass. You think the media thinks that? To them a female idol and a male idol are meeting in secret.” Johnny argued back, getting up to stride towards you. Sure he towered over you with his height, but there was no way you were going to be intimidated. “You really thought a girl like you could really be with someone like him? Dream on, Y/N. Get over yourself. He doesn’t love you.”

“I know he doesn’t! And I don’t like him in the romantic sense. Why are you being such an ass?” You glared up at him. You could tell the boys were getting concerned, Doyoung and Jungwoo backing away from whatever fist fight Johnny and you were going to put up. Jaehyun and Taeyong stood close by to step in if anything.

“I just wonder what’s going on with that thick skull of yours?! Of all guys, why him?” Johnny muttered out in English. For the past few times you've argued, it's been in English. He brought up his hand, as if to strike you, but clenched his fist and put it down. “If you wanted to date someone, you could’ve dated one of the guys. Yuta or Taeyong is a better choice than him!”

“Why do you always think I like him?! Why do you always jump to conclusions whenever I have guys as friends?” You retaliated back in English. “Why are you concerned about who I date and don't date?”

Johnny scoffed and threw his hands in the air. He gave you an incredulous look. “Who wouldn’t like him? He’s popular compared to NCT. You’d like to be the center of attention, don’t you? Especially after your group kicked you out.”

Center of attention?

Ouch. What a way to hit someone when they were down.

“Of all people, I thought you would be supportive of me Johnny! We go way back since our high school and college days and this is how you think of me?!” You shouted, the other members of NCT 127 backing away. You took a deep sigh out of frustration and looked him in the eyes. “Fine! I’m done.”

“What are you talking about Y/N?” Johnny shouted back, his hands grasping your shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s like you said Johnny. I like being the center of attention since I'm not the popular one in my ex-group. What else can I do when even my vocal trainer says I can't sing but you know for a fact that I could sing better than any of those girls? But you know what? I don’t need your permission or approval to do the things I want to do.” You shook yourself from his hands and stared at his angry face. You grabbed your things and headed towards the door. “I’m leaving Seoul. And I’m not coming back. Not for those girls, not for him… And especially not for you.”

“Y/N, I missed you.”

What a liar. No he didn’t. He was the one who pushed you away first.

Johnny looked down at you, his eyes filled with sadness. Perhaps regret? You looked away, not wanting to get drowned in those eyes of his. And as much as you missed the man, you couldn’t forgive him for pushing you away like that. What he said was a hard blow. It even hurts to think about it. You hated to admit that you missed him, but after remembering what he said, you just couldn’t help but be mad and angry.

“Sure you did, Johnny.” You shrugged his hands off. You crossed your arms across your chest, and couldn’t help but notice that Johnny looked down at you. “I don’t have time to listen to your excuses. Now if you excuse me…”

“You’ve changed Y/N.” He muttered, running a hand through his hair. His eyes ran over your body, probably checking out your outfit.

“I’m still the same person.” You looked back at him. “You’re the one who’s changed.”

“I…”

“Is hyung hitting on a girl?” You heard a voice call out in Korean. From the corner of your eye, you saw the other members of NCT 127 make their way towards you both.

“Hush. Maybe she's an old friend of his.” Mark replied in Korean, as they stopped in front of you and Johnny. He took your profile in, his eyes scanning up and down, and if he noticed who you were, he didn't say anything.

“Hyung, are you making this pretty girl cry?” Jungwoo asked, giving you a concerned look. It was like he didn't recognize you because he started to speak in broken English. “Oh, is Johnny making you sad?”

You giggled. That broken English of his was adorable. It made you want to protect him despite him being in his twenties. “I'm fine Jungwoo-ah. Your English is improving a lot. Speaking full sentences now!”

“She’s speaking Korean! Wait, she said my name. Do we know each other?” The man asked in Korean, as he looked at you, his face scrunched up. He had to remember you with the way his face lit up a few seconds later. “Oh! Y/N-noona!”

You nodded, a small smile lighting up your face. “Hi guys. It's good to see you again.”

“See? I told you we saw her, Mark.” Haechan frowned at Mark.

“Why'd you bolt out like that earlier?” Jaehyun asked seconds later. “Almost gave me and Haechan a heart attack.”

“I'm sorry.” You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. “I had a little too much to drink and thought you two were going to do something perverted.”

“More like you'd do something perverted, Y/N.” Mark chuckled, coming forward to give you a small hug. “It's been a year. We all miss you.”

“I missed you too, Mark.” You returned his hug, hands coming to pat his back lightly. “But can you let go of me now? My friends are going to fight you if you hug me too long.”

“What friends?” Mark muttered as he pulled away from you. You pointed behind him and he turned around, noticing the two girls who stood a few feet away, both glaring at him and the other members. “Them? They look like they won’t hurt a fly.”

“You’d be surprised.” Johnny answered back, his members giving him a confused look.

You nodded, Tori and Becca coming to your side instantly. They linked their arms with yours and stared at Mark, the male backing away. Johnny couldn't help but chuckle. You let out a small smile. “Hey, you two. Sorry about that. I needed a breather.”

“Were these guys bothering you, Y/N?” Tori asked menacingly, looking over at each of the guys.

“You're okay, right?” Becca looked you over, checking for any signs that you were hurt. She gestured to Mark. “That man over there didn't do anything inappropriate to you, did he?”

“Inappropriate?” Mark softly asked, Johnny stifling a laugh.

The girls both spoke to you in English, with only Johnny, Mark and Jaehyun understanding everything. The other five probably understood, since they were English capable on command. When did you start speaking to them in Korean? Heck, when did you start speaking in Korean when it was just Johnny and you alone earlier?

You shook your head. “It's okay, girls. They're friends of mines from Korea. Plus, I think you know one of them already, although I don't know if you'll recognize him.”

“Why would we know idols?” Becca asked, eyeing the members. Yeah, she really didn't know the group.

“I'd like to refer to ourselves as musicians and artists.” Johnny responded, suddenly throwing an arm around you. “Right, Y/N?”

You looked at him and debated on whether you should fling his arm off but then thought better of it. You couldn't let your friends think that you were having drama with the guys despite what happened a year ago. “Uh huh. Sure, Johnny. The boys think of themselves as musicians and artists. Tori, Becca, meet NCT 127. Guys, meet my best friends, Tori and Becca.”

“Before you introduce yourself,” Tori said to Johnny and gestured to the other members behind us. “Do they all even know English?”

“Yeah! It’s one thing to speak and understand English and it’s another when you memorize just words.” Becca inputted.

“Of course, they understand. They’re English capable. Apart from Mark and Jaehyun…” You sighed and ran a hair through your dark hair. Johnny tucked a random piece of your hair behind your ear and looked down at you, nodding at your answer. You looked up at him and gestured with your chin, “…and this guy, the others understand. Introduce yourself already.”

“Geez, okay. Don’t have to be mean about it.” Johnny, with his arm still around you, let out a chuckle. He lazily waved at the other two girls, leaning his tall frame unto your short one. “Hey guys. It’s your boy Johnny. Hope you guys remember me.”

Tori bit her lip. “Johnny…”

“I don’t remember a Johnny...” Becca asked, her face scrunched up. “Wait…OH! The one dude that always followed after Y/N back in high school?”

“I never followed after her.” Johnny grumbled. Despite the protest, you could tell he was enjoying the banter since his chest rumbled with laughter, ever so slightly. “She followed me.”

“Whatever, John Jun Suh.” You retorted, using his full name. You never used his full name unless it was to tease him or when you were mad with him. “You were following me, along with all the boys that were in my fan group. Goes to show that I was a beauty back in high school.”

Upon hearing the words coming from your lips, Johnny gave a side look, his eyes soft. His big smile turned into a small soft one. He replied in Korean, so Tori and Becca couldn’t hear. “You still are beautiful.”

“Hyung.” Doyoung frowned, obviously catching what the second eldest member said. “Don’t be flirting with Y/N-noona like that. You know how she gets.”

“Johnny,” Taeyong started, eyes flickering back and forth between the two of you. It was clear that the boys would be speaking in Korean, since they wouldn’t want the girls to know what was going on. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be casually flirting with Y/N.”

“Yeah, especially with what happened.” Jaehyun muttered, slightly concerned about how this was going to go down. Yuta nodded next to him.

“Are you guys dating?” Becca interrupted everyone as she pointed to you and Johnny. “Because you two look really friendly.”

Jaehyun responded with wide eyes but you shook your head, signaling that you had it under control.

“It’s okay, guys.” You smiled at them. Suddenly wrapping your arms around Johnny’s neck, you gazed up at him. “You owe me for this. And don’t think I forgive you too.”

And before Johnny could respond at the sudden act of you wrapping your arms around him, you stood on your toes and pressed your lips to his.

Even you were surprised at your own actions.

What were you doing? Of all people, why is it Johnny Suh that you’re kissing?

Did you miss him that much that you just wanted to kiss him?

It couldn’t be. You and Johnny were friends. You’ve known each other for years and never once did he show any romantic interest in you or you in him.

You felt his strong arms coming to wrap around your lower back, his fingers lingering on the span of naked skin that was exposed from your clubbing outfit. You felt him tightening his hold on you, his soft lips slowly moving against yours, the deep breaths he took, the rise and fall of his chest. Your bodies were so close that you could feel his rapid heartbeat through the layers of his clothes and it made you wonder if he could feel yours.

You mentally scolded yourself, wondering why you were doing this. No, you shouldn’t have done it. You shouldn’t have kissed him just to have your friends think that you’re friendly with him. Or dating him. What will the boys think after? That you’re suddenly making a move on the eldest NCT member?

What would Johnny think?

Johnny rested his forehead against yours as you broke the kiss, trying to get his breathing back under control. His arms were still wrapped against your lower back, your own still around his neck. His eyes were closed, a small chuckle escaping from his lips. “Y/N…”

“Don’t.” You whispered, slightly shaking your head against his. “Don’t ruin the moment because it won’t happen again.”

He kept quiet, as if he was contemplating your words. He pulled his head back some, still holding on to you as he stared down at your face. “I─”

“We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” You heard Tori call out. Shit, you forgot about them. You glanced over to where she stood, her arms latched onto Yuta's right arm and Jaehyun’s left arm. The boys had confused expressions on their faces and looked at Johnny for some sort of guidance.

“Yeah, you two probably have a lot to catch up since it’s been a year since you last saw each other.” Becca nodded and you noticed that she too, had her arms latched onto Taeyong and Haechan. “So we’ll go back into the club with the guys.”

“You guys can drink, right?” Tori asked Jaehyun, who nodded in return. You watched as they walked into the club and you couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle when you saw the look on Mark’s face when he realized that he had to translate for everyone.

“Johnny-hyung!” Haechan called out, as Jaehyun shot you both a look. “Don’t do anything stupid!”

“What did he say?” Becca asked Mark, stopping momentarily as she nodded at Haechan. Mark shrugged in response as Becca just smiled and dragged the poor guys into the club.

“I miss that laugh and smile.” You heard Johnny mutter, still aware that his arms were settled on your lower back. He gave you a boyish grin and you couldn’t help but bite the inside of your cheeks before you let out a weird shriek. “So…can we talk about what’s going on between us?”

You shrugged yourself out of his grasp, moving away to put some distance between you both. Now this was awkward. Really awkward. You ran a hand through your hair and gestured to you both. “This kiss that happened between you and I, forget about it. It never happened.”

“Y/N.” Johnny started, coming to stand in front of you. “If you’re still mad about what happened a year ago─”

“I am!” You interrupted him and looked away. Did he not understand that what he said made you furious? “I’m still mad at you, Johnny. That fight, those words…I still remember it so clearly. I thought we were best friends and nothing could come between us, but I guessed wrong. What happened when we suddenly started fighting? What happened that made things take a wrong turn?”

“He happened.” Johnny muttered, looking down at the ground. “Ever since he came into the picture, things have changed between us. You started hanging out with him and his members more than you hung out with me and the rest of the guys. You’d blow off our plans to do other things with them.”

“You were mad because I had other friends?” You asked, with an airy sigh. “Johnny, you’re my best friend. Even if I made new friends, you’re the most important one. We grew up together.”

“Yeah. But people change Y/N.” Johnny said as he stepped in front of you and laid a hand on your arm. “You changed and I changed.”

You looked up at him and shrugged his hand off. “Because of him, huh? Because I was getting closer to him than anyone else.”

“He wasn’t good for you Y/N.” Johnny muttered as he returned the stare. “Anyone is better than him.”

“Like who?” You asked, watching as he averted his eyes. “The boys? You?”

“You know I’m only looking out for you.” Johnny replied back as he bit his lower lip. “You’re one of my best friends and I want what’s best for you. Taeil or Taeyong, heck even Jaehyun, was a better choice.”

Friends, huh?

Why was that a slight blow? Did you want something more from him? Were you expecting something else from him? You just felt disappointed and you didn’t even know why.

You just wanted to hear something else. Something that showed that he saw you as a woman and not a friend.

Even something little.

“Don’t deny that you guys aren’t together.” Johnny said, as he stuffed his hands in his pocket, and blew his hair from his face. “I know you too damn well to know when you lie to me.”

“Even a year later, nothing escapes you huh?” You muttered, as you crossed your arms across your chest. “Things wouldn’t have turned out this way if I hadn’t gone to his place in the middle of the night and kept my legs closed.”

“Wait, what? You slept with him?” Johnny asked, his voice somehow getting a bit loud. The wrinkles started to form on his forehead as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

You bit your lip and shook your head. “I’m not kidding Johnny. We had sex a few times. I never told you because I know how you get.”

“Y/N─” Johnny started but you shook my head.

“See, you’re doing it again.” You interrupted him as he ran a hand through his hair. “Can we not fight again, Johnny? I’m getting tired of always fighting with my best friend.”

“I’m not going to argue with you or anything.” Johnny sighed as he crossed his arms. “I just wished you’d told me. Then I could have prevented it from happening.”

“Prevented what? Having sex with him?” He nodded in reply and you let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m a grown woman who has urges, Johnny. I don’t prevent you from having sex with other girls.”

“What other girls?” He asked, blinking a few times.

“Don’t play dumb with me.” You muttered. “What girl wouldn’t want to sleep with a handsome guy like you?”

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows. “So that explains everything, huh?”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes. You were curious about why he never wanted you to date others. “Besides, I fell for his sweet stupid words and lies. Why don’t you want me dating other men? You can’t be jealous, can you?”

He turned away quickly and you caught a slight nod of his head. Just a slight nod. “Yeah, I get pretty jealous. It’s because…”

“Because…?” You cocked your head slightly, waiting for an answer.

“You’re my best friend.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s because Jaehyun likes you.” He muttered, averting his gaze away. He looked over to the small crowd that gathered around the venue’s door. “That’s why.”

“Jaehyun?” You scoffed. You knew Jawhyun didn’t like you. “Yeah right. Jaehyun’s in love with himself. What’s the real reason?”

“Okay, okay!” Johnny turned back towards you and took a deep sigh, before pulling you into his arms. He took you by surprise as he tightened his hold. He rested his chin on your head so that you couldn’t see his face. But his heart was beating pretty fast. “After I tell you this, I’m not sure if we can go back to what we were before. But still I have to say this. I like you Y/N. I tried to hold it down but I can’t do it anymore. It took me a long time to say this…but I really, really like you. Fuck, I might even love you.”

“Wait. What?” Before you could even let out another sound, he silenced you with a kiss. It was different from the one you gave him earlier. His was soft and tender and you couldn’t help but revel in it. It was different from other kisses you’ve had with other men and...you can’t believe you’re actually saying it...but you really like it.

“Johnny, say it again.” You breathed out in between kisses.

“Please don’t make me say it again.” He muttered against your lips, resting his forehead against yours. Johnny cupped your face with one of his big palms, his thumb softly caressing your cheek.

You let out an oddly satisfying sigh. “Or you’ll do what?”

“Geezes, woman.” He chuckled lightly before pecking you softly on the lips again. “You drive me crazy.”

Johnny wanted to hold hands in the club, but you weren’t quite ready yet. At least not mentally. Sure you both exchanged a couple more kisses here and there before making your way back into the venue. Sure your best friends thought that Johnny and you were a couple.

But you weren’t so sure about the boys. Hell, you don’t even know about your own damn feelings.

Were you a couple? Were you officially a thing?

Did you like Johnny like how he likes you? Or has it been so long since you felt the touch of another man, that your body is just yearning for him? Yeah, it had to be that. You had to be sexually frustrated to even think of sleeping with your best friend.

God, does he look good right now.

NO. NO. NO. NO.

Y/N, stop it. You’re just a bit horny all because Johnny just kissed you.

Stop it.

You looked over at him as he conversed with Tori and Becca, no doubt catching up on old times. As if sensing that you were looking at him, he turned his head to look at you and sent you a smile that made you weak in the knees and momentarily short of breath.

“You okay there, Y/N?” He asked in Korean, swiping at the hair that fell into his eyes. “Are you tired? Do you want to rest for a bit?”

You shook my head. “I’m okay, Johnny. Where are the boys? I haven’t seen them since we got back into the club.”

“Jaehyun went to the bar with Doyoung.” Johnny pointed towards the bar where you saw the three members waiting on their drinks. “Jungwoo went to the restroom and Mark, Haechan, Taeyong and Yuta are dancing in the corner over there.”

“Does he really dance like that?” Tori asked as she watched Taeyong dance.

“Yep.” Johnny nodded. “He’s one of the main dancers.”

The boys came back to your cozy spot at the club and settled themselves comfortably in the lush seats. Although not as fluent in English as Johnny, Mark or Jaehyun, the boys conversed in English as they tried to get to know Tori and Becca better.

“Where are you guys staying?” You randomly asked Johnny as he fiddled with the beer bottle in his hand. He opened another one and handed it to you. “At a hotel?”

“Nah, I’m crashing back at home for the duration of our stay here. The boys are at a hotel.” Johnny chuckled as he pulled out his phone and showed a recent picture he took with his mom. “Mom is pretty happy that I’m back home for once. Oh yeah, are you staying with your parents?”

“No, I got my own place.” You replied, as you cooed over the picture, complimenting how cute his mom was. “Mom and Dad were pretty disappointed that I moved out.”

“Because you keep bringing guys over?” Johnny joked as he slid his phone back into his pocket.

“It’s because I don’t bring guys over.” You rolled your eyes and Johnny couldn’t help but laugh.

“But imagine the look on our parents' faces if they knew we hooked up.” Johnny chuckled as he took a drink of his beer. So you were just hooking up, huh? “My mom would make you move in ASAP.”

“Not unless my mom makes you move in her house instead.” You laughed as well. “They live down the street, so I don’t understand why they make such a big deal over it.”

Johnny leaned back in his seat and looked over at you. His eyes seemed to roam along your whole body and for once, you felt pretty self-conscious around him. “It must be nice to have your own place though. I share a room with Haechan in the dorms.”

“You’d think by now you’d have your own place with the way you are bringing girls home.” You raised your eyebrows teasingly at him. “Hey, I had a weird thought. Did you want to stop by my place maybe later tonight?”

“Holy shit, Y/N.” Johnny let out, his chest rumbling in laughter.

Shit.

Did you really just say that? Did you really invite Johnny to come back to your apartment later? What in the hell is wrong with you?

You looked towards the others and noticed that Tori and Becca talked about some random hottie they saw on the dance floor. The boys seemed distracted by a group of young men and women dancing in front of them, Taeyong debating if he wanted to join them. But the look Johnny gave you, made you curse myself.

“Yah, Y/N.” Johnny started in Korean as he scooted closer to you, his hand snaking around your waist and pulling you closer. “Are you inviting me over to your place to have fun?”

“Forget I said anything.” You rolled your eyes at him. “Who’d want to have fun with you?”

“Hey, you’re the one who said that girls can’t resist a handsome man like me.” Johnny chuckled as his fingers tapped against your naked midriff. “I’m handsome. I can dance. I have a deep voice for singing and rapping...”

“Dammit, Johnny.” You cursed aloud, the others looking your way. They raised their eyebrows before continuing their conversations and whatever the hell they were doing. “I hate you. I really hate you.”

Johnny moved his body even closer to yours and raised his eyebrows. “So onto a very touchy subject...How was sex with Hyunsik?”

Why did he bring that up? “It was okay, I guess.”

Im Hyunsik, one of BTOB’s vocalists and the father of majority of their music. The man you’ve slept with on numerous occasions. The man you had a scandal with. When was it that you started that forbidden relationship with Hyunsik?

Ah.

You were also promoting with the girl group you were in as well. You remembered after your performances, NCT 127 invited your group out for drinks but the other girls declined since they were quite a bit younger.

You met the members of BTOB at the restaurant you went to and despite being attached to the members of NCT at the hip, the guys in BTOB seemed to attract your interest. And before you knew it, you started to hang out with them more and become friends with them. You vaguely remember Hyunsik asking you to meet up with him alone one time but how the relationship progressed from being just friends to friends who have sex with each other...you don’t remember at all.

“Oh?” Johnny raised his eyebrows. “Hm…. I would’ve thought that Im Hyunsik would’ve blown your mind. I mean he is a great vocalist and probably has lots of skills.”

“Yah. Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, Johnny Suh.” You muttered, seemingly distracted by him. “And stop mentioning his name. It’s weird.”

“So then you don’t mind me asking…” Johnny smirked as he leaned his face closer to yours. “What do you think about us going to your place and just fuck?”

“What did you just say, Johnny?” You heard him wrong, right?

Johnny gave you a slight smirk, his long fingers touching, caressing, my naked midriff. You could see from the corner of your eyes that Tori and Becca were watching you both and if the boys saw it too, they probably ignored it. “You know what I said. Let’s go back to your place. Unleash the beast. Let this soldier have the spoils of war. Fuck.”

“Did you compare yourself as a soldier and me as the spoils of war?” You asked, scrunching your nose. You could care less about his vulgar language considering you used it pretty often, but did this guy really compare himself to a soldier?

“Did you like that? It was good, huh?” He asked, pretty proud of himself for coming up with that analogy. “Man, I’m a genius.”

“What a loser.” You rolled your eyes and looked at him. Just because he was being a tease, you thought you’d tease him back by running a finger down his chest. He took a sharp breath, his eyes wide. “But I’m down to let this soldier surround himself in his spoils of war.”

“Geezes, woman.” Johnny let out as he tried to control his breathing. “Were you like this with Hyunsik?”

“Yah,” you frowned and stopped. “Didn’t I say not to mention his name?”

He frowned as he grabbed hold of your finger. “Well, I don’t know what type of things you do with Hyunsik. Did you tease him like this too?”

You shook your head. “No. He did most of the teasing.”

His face lit up when you said that. He looked like a happy child at the candy store, surrounded by a whole bunch of sweets. “Ouuu~ So I get to experience sweet little Y/N’s teasing.”

“Go get a room, you two.” Tori called out, Becca nodding beside her. “We know you guys missed each other but come on.”

“Yeah. Go explore each other elsewhere.” Becca added, holding in her laugh. She turned to Tori, a big smile on her face. “I can’t believe today is the day we see Y/N with a guy.”

“And not even telling us about him, at all.” Tori shook her head in disappointment. “How could you not tell us that you had a boyfriend? Were you scared that we wouldn’t approve of Johnny?”

“I forgot to be honest.” You shrugged. You and Johnny were not a couple. You’d probably never be. At least you think so. “And you were always annoyed with Johnny back in high school. If I remember correctly, you kept getting annoyed with him whenever he signed up for the talent show.”

“Well this was before he started to sound so good!” Tori exclaimed, giving Johnny a sad frown. But it was only for a little while until her expression changed into that of a fangirl.

“And before he started to look this good too.” Becca raised an eyebrow in appreciation. “Damn, what a glow-up. Y/N, you lucky bitch.”

“Stop giving him googly eyes, Becca.” You pinched her arm and she jumped in response. You gave her a small smile. “He’ll start getting a big head if you compliment him like that.”

Taeyong was sitting across from us, shaking his head in disapproval as the girls and Johnny laughed. He spoke in Korean, giving you and Johnny a frown. “Johnny, didn’t we tell you not to flirt with Y/N like that?”

“They haven’t seen each other in a year because of you-know-who and now they’re back to being normal.” Doyoung pouted.

Normal? Things did not get back to being normal, Doyoung.

If anything, it took a weird turn.

You had the biggest fight ever with Johnny a year ago, got reunited with him a few hours ago, kissed him like thirty minutes ago while he confessed to liking you, and now he wants to have sex with you. That’s normal?

Oh, Kim Doyoung, you cute, innocent man.

“So noona and hyung are back to being friends?” Haechan asked as he shook his leg to the music.

Jungwoo shrugged. “I think so. Hyung, are you and noona back to being friends?”

Johnny looked at you, a mischievous smirk on his face. “Oh yeah. We’re back to being friends. Right, Y/N?”

That wink. Why did he have to do that? Be still your heart.

Johnny is just your best friend. Just your best friend of many, many years. A friend who is apparently attracted to you. Nothing more, nothing less…

But what if…? No.

You doubt Hyunsik will care about what you did or who you do. And if he does, you’d deal with that matter the next time you’re in Seoul.

If you ever return.

“Yeah, we’re back to being friends.” You nodded, not letting Johnny’s suggestive tone get to you. “Oh yeah. Do you guys want to go to my apartment so we can just chill and catch up?”

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, when he heard you invite the others.

Johnny Suh, I can not be alone with you anytime soon. You are apparently not good for my heart.

“It’s okay, Y/N. It’s kind of getting a bit late out so we’ll visit tomorrow if you don’t mind.” Taeyong smiled, the others agreeing.

“Johnny could walk you home though.” Mark nudged Johnny playfully. “Right?”

“Yeah. I don’t mind.” Johnny chuckled, glad that the boys were bailing.

Damn.

You thought you could get away with it, but apparently not. You told the girls that you were going to head home and they happily saw you and Johnny off. It had taken you about maybe fifteen minutes to walk back to your apartment since you didn’t live that far from the club. You opened your door and let Johnny in, he took off his shoes and slowly padded into your territory.

Your somewhat empty territory.

“Yeah… Sorry it looks empty.” You muttered as you scratched the back of your head. Your living room barely had any furniture apart from the couch, a coffee table, the TV, and a keyboard on one side of the wall. Your kitchen only had the basics such as a microwave, a coffee pot, and a few pots and pans scattered around the counter. “I haven’t had the time or money to buy more things.”

“I hope you don’t sleep on the floor.” Johnny shook his head as he took in the condition of the apartment.

“Nah, my bedroom is the only place that has the most furniture.” You laughed as he plopped himself on the couch. “I spend most of my time there anyway. Writing lyrics, composing music, playing the guitar, and sleep.”

“You still playing the guitar?” Johnny asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah. Just because I couldn’t when I was an idol doesn’t mean I stopped playing it.” You muttered as you sat next to him. “Now that I’m no longer in the group, I could write my own music and play the guitar all I want.”

“I want to hear one of your songs one day.” Johnny took your hand in his big ones and entwined your fingers together. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“I know. You’re amazing too.” You smiled up at him, he returned an even bigger smile.

“I really am sorry, Y/N.” Johnny muttered as he brought his other hand to tuck your hair behind your ears. “If I had the chance to return back to that time, I would have told you how I felt, how I like you. You would’ve been mine and you wouldn’t have been in this predicament. You wouldn’t have this scandal staining your reputation. You could have been happy with me.”

“I get it. And I accept your apology.” You gave him a soft smile. “But what’s done is done, Johnny. We can only move forward.”

“Moving forward, huh?” He let out a small laugh before leaning his body closer to yours, his hands on my waist. “Let’s move forward together.”

He closed the distance between you both and sensually placed a trail of kisses down your collarbone. Oh God. You loved it when he did that.

“So I guess we should talk about the future then.” Johnny stated as he bit your neck softly, his teeth grazing your skin.

“Uh huh.” You hummed as he trailed kisses down your shoulder, nibbling on your skin gently. “The future.”

“I don’t want to put you in this difficult position.” He looked up at you, those warm brown eyes brightening up.

Difficult position? As in sexually frustrated?

As in sexually frustrated, wanting to devour you?

Whoops. Way to give him ideas.

But no, you wanted to move forward, make something real. Even if it was just a one night stand even though you wanted more.

“Then what do you want?” You smirked, knowing exactly where this was heading. The kiss became harder, the movements more passionate. You grind your hips against his as he moaned in pleasure, both of you breaking away for a second to catch your breath.

“What I want is you. For as long as I want. I don’t want to leave your side anymore.” His words sent chills down your spine, goosebumps appearing on your skin. “I want to spend every waking moment with you. Whether we’re in Korea or America. Even if it’s just eating meals together, walking through the park, working out, watching movies, singing karaoke, spending holidays with each other, I want to spend every single second of my life with you. All of you.”

Wait, hold up. What? “What did you say?”

“Everything I said.” He grinned, a dimple appearing on his left cheek. “All of it. Every word.”

“You’re crazy.” You whispered. You hadn’t expected him to say that. Of course, you had hoped that he liked you but that was taking it to another level.

“Am I?” He asked, cupping your cheek with his hand. “Tell me. Is that crazy?”

You’d never thought someone could love you that much. Someone who wasn’t family or a lover. But Johnny loves you that much. You’re loved by someone else other than yourself. By someone who also made you feel special. Loved.

You squeezed his hand tight, loving the feeling of his rough thumb running circles over your palm. “No, Johnny. You’re not crazy. I’m speechless.”

His lips met yours again, his tongue pushing its way past your lips, teasing you. You parted your mouth, welcoming his tongue inside, caressing yours, dancing along them in perfect harmony. It felt like nothing you had ever experienced before, every touch, every kiss, every movement meant something, each syllable spoken and breathed into your ear created memories to last forever. It was as if nothing existed outside of this moment right now, this connection between the two of you.

You broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his, breathing heavily.

“You’re too good to me.” You muttered. “How am I supposed to reciprocate this?”

“What do you mean?” Johnny cocked his eyebrow, clearly not understanding your question.

“I don’t deserve you.” You admitted, tears starting to form in your eyes. “Not after what happened. Not after how I left.”

“Y/N…” Johnny pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Please don’t cry. I can’t handle seeing you sad. Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” You cried as he held onto you tighter. "I should hate you for pushing me away. But I don't. I can't."

"I know I shouldn't have gotten mad." Johnny started. "For me to blame you was wrong. So fucking wrong. That was all me. I got jealous. I was insecure. I'm just a stupid man."

"Don't apologize." You sniffled. "Apologizing means you're admitting that you're at fault. You're not at fault, Johnny. This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault."

"Y/N…" Johnny sighed, wiping the tears from your cheeks. "I've always wanted to tell you this. That I love you. That I like you. That you have this effect on me. That whenever I'm around you, my entire world stops. That I could stare at you for hours without moving a muscle. That when you touch me, it's electrifying. That when you look at me, I can't help but fall in love. That I'm not a person, I'm a pile of melting ice cream when you look at me. That I become this jumbled mess when I think of you. When I think of us. You are everything. Everything to me."

"Me too, Johnny." You giggled as you kissed him again, you pushed him back on the couch so you could straddle his lap. You ran your hands through his messy locks, brushing his bangs out of his face. "When I think of you, I'm instantly happy. Everything else fades away. Nothing matters when I'm with you. My anxiety, my fears, my doubts, my insecurities… They all go away."

"And I need you, baby. So much. Like air." Johnny brought his hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb running along your jawline. "I don't want to be without you. I need you in my life, Y/N. I need you to fill that void in my heart. You're the only one for me."

"Johnny..." Your voice cracked as you tried to speak. Your heart was racing so fast, pounding so hard that you swore it would explode. Tears continued to fall from your eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, baby." He chuckled. "Do you see anyone else sitting here besides you?"

"There's no one else but you." You mumbled, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Only you."

"Good. Because I'll never let you go." He murmured as his hand traveled down your stomach, towards your inner thighs.

You gasped loudly as he pressed a finger between your folds. "Oh god... Oh god, oh god, oh god."

"Ah, you like that?" Johnny teased as he lightly rubbed your clit with his middle finger. "Oh, you're so wet, Y/N. So hot."

"I need you. Now." You pleaded. "Right now, Johnny. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered against your ear.

You don’t when or how, but both of you were suddenly naked. Your legs were trembling uncontrollably as he slid two fingers inside you, causing you to moan. You weren't even close to reaching climax yet, he had to stop. You needed him to slow down, prolong the pleasure until you could no longer bear it. Until your body couldn't take any more. You moaned louder, making him smile seductively.

"I bet you like this." He murmured, spreading your pussy open. "Wanting it, craving it. Telling me that you need me, that you want me. Don't deny it. Let go, baby. Let me take control. You won't regret it."

You nodded silently, closing your eyes. You felt his lips brush against your neck, your breasts, your abdomen. He traced little hearts all across your body with his tongue. Each touch, each lick, each kiss had you gasping in pleasure. One more minute and you'd come undone, panting as you writhed against his hand. "Johnny, please..."

"That's it, baby. Come for me." Johnny whispered as he continued to rub your clit. "Come on. Cum for me. Let go. Give me everything."

It was torture. You knew that once you came, he'd stop. And you didn't want that. It was bad enough that he had put you in this situation, why did he have to ruin it by stopping? You reached down and grasped his wrist, pulling his fingers away from you. He didn't resist, merely watched as you quickly brought your lips to his hand, sucking on his fingers. You hummed as his fingers touched your tongue, tasting yourself, tasting him. You moved his fingers back to your sex, licking them clean before pushing them inside you.

"Ah fuck." Johnny groaned as he watched you do whatever you pleased with his fingers. "You're killing me, baby."

"Sorry." You hummed, kissing his fingers once more before replacing them inside you. "But I really want to cum. I need to cum."

"You're damn right you need to come." Johnny growled, bringing his other hand up to cup your breast. "You've been denied for far too long. Just thinking about it has me horny as hell."

He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, leaving you empty and unsatisfied. You whimpered as he placed his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suckle on them once more. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing your body flush against his. "God, I need to be inside you."

"Please." You panted.

"Where, baby?" Johnny questioned, his fingers tracing patterns across your stomach. "Should I go deep or shallow? Should I use my fingers or just shove my cock inside you?"

You shivered, his words making your body quiver with excitement. "Shove your cock in me, Johnny. Please."

He grinned, opening your legs wide, his erection bobbing in front of your face. "I'm going to fuck you so hard, Y/N." He whispered, lightly running his thumb over your nipple. "So very hard."

You grabbed onto his shoulders, clinging onto him as he positioned himself between your legs. He pressed forward, his length rubbing against your slit, causing you to squirm and moan.

"Yes, baby. So beautiful." Johnny mumbled, lowering himself so that the head of his cock brushed against your entrance. "I want to slide inside you so badly."

"Please." You whined, biting down on your lip as he pushed forward slightly. The head of his cock slipped inside you, stretching you gently. His shaft pushed against the walls of your vagina, forcing you to widen your legs slightly. You arched your back as he penetrated you deeper, sighing as he filled you completely. "Oh god... You're so big, Johnny."

"Damn, you feel amazing." Johnny groaned as he began to thrust inside you.

"Goddamn, you feel amazing." Johnny echoed as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

You clung onto his shoulders, rocking your hips back and forth, meeting his thrusts perfectly. Each thrust caused you to moan louder, your body begging for more. "Fuck, Johnny. Please fuck me harder. Harder, faster."

"Give me everything, baby." Johnny panted as he fucked you hard. "All of you. Cum for me."

You gave him everything. Every bit of yourself. Giving in to his demands, accepting his commands, doing whatever he asked of you. Doing anything he told you to. All because he made you feel so fucking amazing. As you exploded around him, your orgasm pulsating within your womb, you came apart in his arms, screaming his name over and over again.

“Fuck! Johnny!”

"Oh god, baby." Johnny whispered as he slowed his thrusts. "I've never felt anything like that before. I'm cumming."

You closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation. You wrapped your arms around his neck, locking your legs around his waist, grinding against him as he shot his load inside you. He collapsed against you, both of you catching your breath.

"Holy shit, that was intense." You laughed, kissing him on the lips. "I haven't cum like that in like a year."

"Fucking hell, Y/N." Johnny cursed, wiping sweat off his brow. "You took my breath away."

"You did that to me." You laughed, grinning as you snuggled into his chest. "Let's go to bed. My bedroom is right over there."

"Yeah." Johnny smiled. "Bed sounds great."

"So does being in your arms." You smiled as you leaned in to kiss him.

"It doesn't get much better than this, Y/N." Johnny said softly, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing on the bedside table next to you. Slowly getting up, you rubbed your eyes, the sunlight glaring through the curtains. You picked up your phone and looked at the screen, groaning when you saw Mark's name lighting up.

Pressing the green icon on your phone screen, you pressed the cellular device against your ear.

“Ugh, it’s so early, Mark. What do you want?” You muttered out, the blankets pooling around your waist. Your skin was sticky from the aftermath of whatever occurred during the previous night.

“Good morning to you too, sleeping beauty. Johnny over there?”

“Mmhmm. Why?” You let out, a muscular arm reaching out from the covers to squeeze your hip. You slapped his hand away, prompting him to peek his head out from the sheets to frown at you.

“He ain't answering his phone. Plus his mom keeps calling us.”

“What did you tell her?”

“We said something about him meeting up with old friends and spending the night there or something.” You heard him mutter from the other side. There were groans from the distance and someone muttering about coffee, so you assumed the boys were all getting up from their sleep. “Just call his mom and let her know that you finally slept with her precious son.”

“Yah. Why do I have to be the one to tell his mom that we finally fucked?” You asked, looking at the man next to you, a mischievous smile on his face.

“Because you’re close to his parents. I mean your parents and his parents are friends right?”

“Yeah… But I don’t want to tell Johnny's mom that we had sex.” You groaned out, Johnny chuckling softly next to you. “It’s just so weird. Johnny's mom would probably tell my mom. And then my mom would probably tell me to lock Johnny down...”

“Well...not my problem! Have fun!”

“Yah! Mark Lee! Mark! He hung up.” You frowned when you noticed he disconnected the call. Shaking your head and leaving the warmth of your bed and Johnny's arms, you grabbed the closest towel you could find. You went to the other side of the bed and shook the muscular figure. “Johnny, stop pretending to be asleep. Go call your mom.”

“And tell my mom that we had wild, passionate sex?” Johnny grinned, suggestively raising one eyebrow.

“Nevermind. Don’t.” You shook your head. “I don’t want your mom to suddenly be treating me differently just because I took her son’s virginity.”

“I was not a virgin and you know it.” Johnny pouted. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been screaming my name so loudly last night.”

“I hate you Johnny Suh.” You replied back, your cheeks suddenly turning pink. You had to admit...he was good in bed.

“Mmhmm, I know. Are you going to shower?” Johnny muttered against the bedsheets, his eyes soft. You nodded. “Want me to join you?”

“If you did that, we’d never leave my apartment.” You chuckled as you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. You moved towards the bathroom and gave him a small smile. “Can you start the coffee while I grab the shower first?”

“Why don’t we just shower together?” Johnny muttered as he sat up in bed, scratching his bare chest. “It’ll save us time.”

“You make a good point…” You scrunch your nose and then shake your head. “But no. Knowing you, we’ll be doing other things than shower.”

“Damn. It was worth a try.” Johnny mumbled under his breath as you chuckled and retreated to the bathroom. Swinging his feet out of bed and shrugging on his jeans, he made his way towards the kitchen to start up the coffee maker. He looked towards the bathroom, noticing that the door was wide open. “How do you like your coffee!?”

“Black please!” You called out through the bathroom door, the sound of the shower running.

Johnny chuckled, walking away from the coffee maker as it continued brewing. He went into the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, eyebrows raised as he made out your silhouette behind the shower curtains. “You sure you don’t want it sweet and creamy like me?”

“You’re so weird Johnny.” You peeked out from the curtains and made a face. You nodded towards the shower. “But since you were being such a cutie by making coffee, you might as well join me.”

“Score!” He called out, discarding whatever clothing he had on and joined you in the shower.

#nct #nct stories #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct smut #johnny #johnny suh #nct johnny #johnny x reader #johnny smut

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ineffable-opinions · 4 months

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BL “Censorship” & Commercialization

Content: 1. ubiquitous censorship - special focus on Japanese BL 2. commercial viability of live action BL & generalizations 3. solutions - special focus on state support of Thai BL

Censorship is a sensitive topic. I have tried my best. Please feel free to comment and critique.

History of Korean BL is one of censorship and commercialization and Korean fu-people has struggled against both. There have been different victors at different points in time. Aljosa Puzar’s "BL"(Boy Love), "GL"(Girl Love) and Female Communities of Practice and Affect in South Korea chronicles that struggle. (Highly recommended.)

I have tried to problematize BL commercialization before. But that was in the context of fu-culture and the commodity fetishism associated with the consumption of BL, particularly in live action form which is probably its most capitalist rendition for many many reasons.

Here I would like to look at it from another angle: censorship. This is a continuation of my earlier post (Why so many shonen ai live-action?) motivated by the live action adaptation of ‘조폭인 내가 고등학생이 되었습니다’ (I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student) by 호롤 (Ho Rol).

The live action has jumped genres switching from BL to 판타스틱 휴먼 드라마 (lit. fantasy human drama). This switch got it tagged as ‘Censored Adaptation of Same-sex Original Work’ on My Drama List. I personally don’t like that tag. Almost all BL adaptation is a censored adaptation, with notable exceptions like Sei no Gekiyaku. But no one uses that tag for, say, 25 Ji, Akasaka de (2024) which censored all sexual content, especially from the volume 1 of the manga which was critical to the story and the couple’s development in the original manga series’ and its multiple adaptations’ popularity. Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (2024) went as far as removing the more sexual second couple from the live action adaptation all together, yet it does not get a "censored" tag.

An interesting question that the controversy surrounding High School Return of a Gangster (2024) has sparked is that of BL media’s commercial viability, especially in live action form. Here’s what producers told the Korean newspaper, Hankook Ilbo, about the genre-jumping:

"BL 장르는 제작비 투자나 리쿱(제작비 회수)에 한계가 있는 게 사실이다. 그러다 보니 처음부터 이 작품은 브로맨스로 해보고 싶었다"

“The BL genre is limited in terms of investment in production costs and recoup (recovery of production costs). So, from the beginning, we planned it as a bromance (beulomaenseu).”

The author of this article cites examples of works that enjoyed success on OTT platforms, namely Watcha’s Semantic Error and TVing's Unintentional Love Story (2023). However, the article also highlights the fact that BL continues to be a niche genre and live action adaptations don’t guarantee success.

이성택 (Lee Seong Taek), the director of High School Return of a Gangster, previously directed the BL Love Class (2022). The producer 넘버쓰리픽쳐스 (Number Three Pictures Co., Ltd.) have BL works like Unintentional Love Story under its belt.

'Unintentional Love Story' Director Jang Eui-soon (장의순) | source

If the producer of one of the two most popular live action BL is admitting to it, then it is not easy to dismiss the issue of commercial viability of live action BL.

Very famous BL publishing houses (starting with JUNE) and hosting platforms with relatively lower expenses have struggled. Some of them are no more. It is also difficult for authors to survive merely on earnings from publishing houses and hosting platforms, especially when those platforms are not very rich. So, it is not difficult to imagine that live action production houses also struggle to survive.

Take GMMTV for example. They are probably one of the most successful BL producers. According to their managing director, BL content (series) is not a profitable business in itself. They rely on khujin (branded pairs) of actors to bring in advertisement revenue, merchandize sales, and pull crowds to concerts and fan-meets. It is not enough for actors to just act. They are expected to sing, dance and perform. Meanwhile, GMMTV is forced to keep working with these actor pairs and stick to templates that suit them. While it works for now, it remains to be seen how long the business model can last.

Now there is also investment from Mainland China that has migrated to other BL producers following dangai ban. But those who invest already burned themselves pretty bad with all the money they poured in during the short-lived but explosive dangai boom. It is sunk cost at this point. Another crack down could be the death knell for Chinese investments in BL.

More generally, it is likely that commercial viability of a live action BL project hinges on the following:

#1 Target demographic

Like all other BL content, live action too is primarily targeted at fu-people (BL audience) – both queer and non-queer. The target demography is further sub-divided based on the type of BL and purchasing power.

Sweeter ones are supposed to appeal to all ages and that’s the area Thailand and GMMTV in particular are focused on. Most of Japanese BL series are sweet. Korea too produces sweet BL. However, they are unlikely to bring in explosive success the way odo BL (those following royal road narrative progression – wherein characters face significant challenges, interpersonal or otherwise, to reach happy ending).

Older and, perhaps more hard-core fans, are likely to support jado works (BL that follow the evil path where neither happy ending nor resolution to challenges are guaranteed) with surprising frequency. This might be partly due to the erotic content in jado works.

Purchasing power of BL fans vary widely. There are those who are

“sending gifts to their actors in Thailand, sending food trucks to their shooting locations, putting up billboard advertisements and doing charity events [as well as] ordering merchandise in bulk.”

They also travel to BL producing nations [on fan pilgrimages] and attend fan meetings, concerts and other events regularly.

(Source: The Print)

The other group of BL fans who are probably younger and/or can’t afford to show support in the above-mentioned ways. BL commercially benefits from being appealing to those with higher purchasing power.

#2 Popularity of original work in case of adaptation

Popular BL novels, manhwa, etc. bring in a set of fans who are interested in the live action. Longer and more-acclaimed works are likely to ensure success of the live action given decent making and reasonable changes during adaptation. Semantic Error is a case in point. However, missteps during adaptation can have the opposite effect.

#3 Cost of production

It is difficult to get investment in the first place, especially with how niche the genre is. Moreover, higher cost of production sets the bar for success higher too.

On the other hand, high production quality and better cast and crew (likely more expensive too) makes the viewing more pleasurable and increases the likelihood of success.

There are other factors which influence the success of BL producers. The most popular BL live action from China, Addicted, was produced by the author, Chai JiDan, with a tiny budget. Its dangai family drama remake, Stay with Me, also has an interesting producer.

Source | Mame with her Japanese fans

Orawan Vichayawannakul’s MeMindY is another BL author led production company that has enjoyed considerable success.

OP Pictures’ entry into BL genre has also been successful.

Solutions

#1 Let’s start with the worst

BL as money laundering vehicle. It is probably the most obvious, sort of win-win until it isn’t. Sustainability depends how much skin the ruling class have in the game.

#2 State sponsorship

(or better yet, tax payer supported BL production)

State sponsorship is what Thailand has perfected.

source | 2023 seminar on "Beyond Borders: Exploring the Global Appeal and Diversity of Thailand's Boys' Love Contents" by 9 companies from Thailand organized by Department of International Trade Promotion under Thailand’s Ministry of Trade.

The eleven speakers, including an official from the Office of Commercial Affairs, Royal Thai Embassy in Japan, vigorously pitched partnerships with Japanese content companies [at the above-mentioned seminar.]

Also, several of the companies pitching at the seminar, such as Star Hunter Entertainment […] were plumping for BL not as a niche product but rather a core element of their corporate strategy.

Halo Productions representative Tewarat Supunnium [trumpeted] the vertical integration of his company, from talent representation to contents distribution.

source

Thai BL has been big hits in China, South Korea, Japan, India, Indonesia, the Philippines, and beyond, which has motivated Thailand’s government to ‘deploy Boys Love as its latest soft power weapon to promote the country on the global stage’. In an article published in The Nation, BL director, Bundit Sintanaparadee, explains how that affects production.

He pointed out that the international popularity of Thai shows can boost tourism and generate interest in the featured locations – a vital aspect of soft power. The government can facilitate this process by providing support and streamlining the bureaucratic obstacles to filming in attractive locations like Bangkok’s Chinatown district of Yaowarat.

Filming in iconic places such as Yaowarat can be costly and complicated due to the need to coordinate with multiple government agencies and pay location fees. Bundit said the government could simplify the process to benefit not just filmmakers but also tourist revenue in the locations.

Bundit also cautioned against a top-down approach to soft power, where the government dictates what represents Thailand on the world stage. He emphasises the need for industry professionals to have their say.

source

In a 2022 article, Bangkok Post explores the impact of BL on Thailand’s economy ‘as export products that can draw lucrative revenue streams and foster business opportunities in other areas, including tourism.’

[According to government estimates from 2021,] Thailand's Y content market was worth more than 1 billion baht... In June that year, the Department of International Trade Promotion held an online Y content business matching event to boost the industry, with the participation of 10 Thai content creators. More than 360 million baht was generated from the purchase of the Thai content, with the top three buyers coming from Japan, Taiwan and Vietnam.

Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon, GMMTV's senior director of content production, said [that the] business ecosystem linked to Y Series in Thailand shows a growth of 30-40% per year. [He also said that] Y Series can also be a boon for other businesses, such as films, artist management and merchandise. [He mentioned] Y Series from Thailand [getting] translated into several languages [and one of their Y Series having received theatrical adaptation in South Korea.]

[According to] Kanokporn Prachayaset, chief commercial officer and country manager of WeTV Thailand, … Y Series from Thailand is one of the most popular content genres on its platform. [Half of all the BL content on the platform was Thai.] WeTV [was] sourcing Y Series from Asia as well as having its own WeTV original shows by working with various local production houses, such as GMMTV, TV Thunder, Dee Hup House, M Choice Studio and All This Entertainment. [She also highlighted the contribution of the fan base, which is] active in organising activities and campaigns for their idols.

Seksan Sripraiwan, director of the Tourism Authority of Thailand's (TAT) Tokyo office, said the TAT and the Royal Thai Embassy have actively promoted the country by using Thai entertainment [and that] Thai BL content is considered one of the most popular recent cultural exports to Japan. Japan's market for Thai BL is around 1 million viewers, of which 20,000-30,000 are heavily active on social media sites for renowned BL actors, led by Bright-Win and Krist-Singto. He said Japanese tour operators already offered tailor-made tour packages which contain elements related to BL TV series, such as shooting locations like universities, cafes, Wat Arun or the Amphawa floating market.

Kanokkittika Kritwutikon, director of the TAT Chengdu office, said Thai BL TV shows have gained popularity in China, such as the coming-of-age series "I Told Sunset About You", which helped drive tourists to Phuket, the main location of the story.

"Most Chinese BL fans are millennial females who can offer long-term support for their favourite actors," Mrs Kanokkittika said. [Recognizing the 3 million strong queer population of Chongqing,] she said the LGBT segment could be categorised as luxury travellers as they are high-income earners, live in key cities, and want to spend more for travel experiences.

source

Earlier this year Ministry of Commerce have partnered with Be On Cloud and Idol Factory to promote ‘Thai products, services, tourism, and culture by incorporating them seamlessly into’ their new series “Shine” and “Pin Phak” aka “The Loyal Pin” respectively.

“This will help create around 2 billion in value for Thailand’s economy,” said Commerce Minister Phumtham.

Deputy Prime Minister and Commerce Minister Phumtham Wechayachai and two actresses, Becky and Freen, witness the signing ceremony between the Ministry of Commerce and Idol Factory Co., Ltd. on February 28, 2024....

According to the Department of International Trade Promotion, the Thai movie and series sector and related industries will generate 8,000 million baht in exports by 2023. In 2024, it will likely reach 10,000 million baht, particularly in the Y-movie and Y-series, which are expected to expand in value from 1,000 million baht to 2,000 million baht as a result of the Ministry of Commerce’s proactive cooperation with the private sector.

source

The Thai government’s efforts are paying off.

Oramon Sapthaweetham, director-general of the Department of Business Development, revealed that the Boys’ Love series had helped revitalise the film production industry, generating substantial profits and extending economic benefits to allied sectors, such as advertising, leveraging actors as influencers, event organisation, and tourism.

"Over the past 10 years, Thailand has produced over 177 Boys’ Love [series], continuously gaining popularity and expanding its customer base, eventually leading to exports to international markets," Oramon added.

The film production industry in Thailand is witnessing substantial growth. In the first four months of 2024, 56 new businesses were registered, marking a 12% increase from 2023. The total registered capital also saw a significant rise of 146.44% to 195.18 million baht. In 2023, the industry grew by 20% with 137 businesses and a capital of 258 million baht. The total revenue in 2022 was 12.895 billion baht, indicating a continuous growth trend.

source

#3 Diversification

Ok, so this is based on my limited knowledge and imagination. Feel free to skip.

There are two production companies that I have ever been interested in - Bhavana Studios and Mammootty Kampany. Both of them have produced experimental Malayalam movies while managing to remain commercially successful. While is partially attributable to these companies being brands, I think their overall strategy of diversification have worked in their favour.

Mammootty Kampany could produce art-house movie Nanpakal Nerathu Mayakkam for award circuits and with no expectation of commercial performance by banking on their other production Kannur Squad which was action entertainer sure to bring in the big bucks. Their queer family drama Kaathal – The Core and neo-noir psychological thriller Rorschach did exceptionally well in the box office as well as garnered critical acclaim. Bhavana Studios has similar track record of their commercially successful projects kind of cross subsidizing their experimental and unique projects and lifting the heat off in case of flops.

Having production companies which are aspirational in their approach to BL while having the economics sorted out help where government support is not forth coming.

Censorship as No-thing

When sometime is truly censored, we wouldn’t know. Unless we ask. Here’s what Jooyin Saejang learned from asking.

Conclusion

I have a strong preference for live action adaptations that are willing to go the last mile in terms of sexual content, social critiques and addressing real-life issues. That’s the reason why the header image for this BL side blog is from Moothon (2019).

But realistically this isn’t always possible. And I prefer having more production companies offering variety. I don’t want them to sink under the weight of BL that didn’t do well commercially and me being left at the mercy of media conglomerates with seemingly bottomless funds and monopsony over BL authors, original works and the culture that creates them.

Also, there is queer content from Korean that is neither mainstream nor from fu-culture. Support those.

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save-the-data · 2 years

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weak hero class | s01e06

Korean Drama - 2022, 8 episodes

EP:- 1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5 : 6 : 7 : 8

#Weak Hero Class #Action #Youth #Drama #Adapted from a Webtoon #High School #Delinquent #Miniseries #Asian Drama #South Korea #Web Drama #Park Ji Hoon #Choi Hyun Wook #Hong Kyung #Viki

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mofartumb · 2 years

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Sinopsis & Review Revenge of Others (2022)

Revenge of Others adalah serial drama Korea yang dibintangi oleh Shin Ye-Eun, Lomon, Seo Ji-Hoon, Chae Sang-Woo, Lee Soo-Min, dan Jung Soo-Bin. Drama sepanjang 12 episode ini ditayangkan Disney+ mulai 9 November 2022. Berikut sinopsis dan review drama Korea Revenge of Others (2022). Plot sinopsis Revenge of Others (2022) Ok Chan-Mi (Shin Ye-Eun) adalah seorang siswa sekolah menengah berusia 19…

View On WordPress

#Death #Death Of A Brother #Death Of A Twin #drakor #drama korea #Fraternal Twin Female Lead #High School #Multiple Mains #Orphan Female Lead #School Bullying #Skilled Fighter #Strong Male Lead

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absolutebl · 9 months

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Best 23 of BL 2023 - Quirky Awards

SHOCK & AWE AWARDS

1. Biggest BL surprise of 2023:

The last 3 months of 2023 in general got my biggest WTF award.

GMMTV fielding OffGun AND TayNew in the same quarter while also airing Last Twilight (arguably one of their best BLs ever)

That they ALSO optioned 3 JBLs

That there's a high heat omegaverse BL staring Pavel

That there were 20 BLs airing and none of them Korean.

With 5 VAMPIRE BLs announced for next year

But my prize in this category goes to My Dear Gangster Oppa.

It's just crazy:

Thai talent, Korean money + IP (this is adapted from a manwha) airing on a Chinese channel (iQIYI). Plus it was GOOD and made smart reuse of a pair who richly deserved it. I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production. And wonder if any other film genre could even do anything like this.

2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:

The 8th Sense from Korea?!

I mean, seriously?! Dealing with metal health, suicide, darkness, therapy, age gap, & first time love BUT FROM KOREA? And then openness and casual boyfriend physical affection? What's next? An actual hard fought coming out narrative with an HEA? Gay domesticity and families?

Careful Korea, you'll strain something. Possibly your own culture and film industry.

I should stop having expectations of Korea, they keep surprising me.

Runners up: Korea letting OnlyOneOf do Bump Up Business not to mention that OmegaX thing. AND Korea adapting Why R U? What are you up to, Korea? Qua? Is this a coded message? Should we send help? Do you need snacks?

3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:

GeminiFourth in My School President.

Seriously? Babies what? How did GMMTV find you? How do you exist? How is BL this lucky?

4. That studio did WHAT now? award:

GMMTV putting EarthMix into Moonlight Chicken.

And then doubling down with G4 as the damn sides.

Fucking genius.

5. I’m sad you were ignored award:

Destiny Seeker.

It's just a really fun little Thai pulp, the pairs were good, silly dialogue, plus consent and other good rep. I enjoyed it. No one talked about it AT ALL.

6. 2023 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?

Laws of Attraction. -The casting, the crazy story, the soapy drama! But specifically: Film playing Charn - the range of his smiles alone. GLORIOUS

I mean I Feel You Linger in the Air also sparked something in me, but LoA drove me actually nuts.

NARRATIVE AWARDS

7. Best story 2023:

La Pluie

I know, you're surprised, right? At the time I didn't chat much about it but I really enjoyed the discourse others were having. I love anything that really examines the fated mates (soulmates) trope and the idea of "the one". What a clever way to do that. (This is one reason UWMA is my favorite Thai BL.)

This one reminded me of the way Color Rush approached allegory and that's no bad thing. Such an impressive little piece.

8. Best narrative structure 2023 award:

Unintentional Love Story.

I know this may seem a simplistic pick. But I love the tidiness of this no frills contemporary romance, how the culture of work and personal ethics and corruption fight against the main character's affection and integrity. Poor baby boy is driven into a corner and then punished for it. But it is punishment he feels he deserves, and so it is up to his (now) ex to figure out what went wrong and why.

It's just great. I love it when no one is stupid or wrong, it's just impossible circumstances and unintentional love deeply felt.

9. Best 2023 dialogue (script) award:

Jun & Jun

Never before has Korea laced a BL with that much perfectly executed innuendo. It was a master class. I didn't know you could be that lascivious in Korean, quite frankly. Plus the way the 2 Juns constantly seamlessly transition between formal register (work, public - where they are boss/employee) to informal register (when they are alone and age mates + childhood sweethearts).

Beautiful to hear and watch.

10. Favorite scene 2023:

The dub con scene in I Cannot Reach You because I AM TRASH for an out of control seme. I'm sorry I just AM.

I have said it before, I will say it again, NO ONE DOES THIRST like Japan. And when that thirst bubbles over, it is heart-clenching and very hot.

11. The most rewatchable BL of 2023 award:

Our Dating Sim

That scene where they lie on the floor + the stolen kiss + giggle? Come on, it should be on comfort repeat in war rooms. It could bring world peace.

ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS

12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role, 2023:

Fluke in Make a Wish.

It was fun to see him as an irreverent immortal and while I love OhmFluke I also really enjoyed this new pairing. It was a genuine pleasure to watch.

13. Best pining 2023:

The moot pining in Tokyo in April is...

Boys, seriously? Japan must you destroy us like this? Hurts so good.

14. Best wingman 2023 (The Namgoong Award)

Tiw from My School President

I mean, come on, of course it's him!

(Also can you believe Mark went on from this to do fricking Only Friends!? To Last Twilight! Come on GMMTV GIVE HIM A LEAD!)

15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!

Dimpled McMafia & Feral Bunny Foo Foo from Kiseki Dear to Me.

They were feral for each other.

We were feral for them

It was a whole delightful THING.

16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:

The Private Lessons pair showing up in Love Class 2.

I know it was only a cameo, but SERIOUSLY? Thank you SO MUCH Korea! A big studio picking up a Strongberry pairing? I love you.

Seriously tho between them, Taiwan & Korea tried for ALL THE CAMEOS this year.

17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:

NetJames in Bed Friend.

Need I say more?

18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

Bah Vinh in Vian & Mr Cinderella 2. I did like either show but I loved him in them. Especially the make outs.

Yes you have chemistry with all the boys in Vietnam and you kiss beautifully. But it's okay now honey, you have the crown. Relax, you're stressing us out.

RANDOM PICKS

19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2023:

Our Dating Sim

Caught in the act by the elevator scene. OMG it's so funny. They're being such boyfriend shits to each other, and to be caught in the act by THAT character, and try to manifest formal language whole cloth? Hilarious.

Honorable mention to War Peanuts in Destiny Seeker.

20. Biggest disappointment of 2023:

You Are Mine

Seriously Taiwan, AGAIN you disappoint me with an Office BL? You're Taiwan, land of offices and suits. This should be YOUR SETTING TO WIN. And yet... argh. I mean it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good either. Stop it Taiwan, do better.

Runners up? Between Us, Chains of Heart, Dangerous Romance - this was a HOTLY contested category.

+ 2 Winners in the sub-category of FUCK YOU FOR THAT ENDING award:

The Director who Buys Me Dinner - I mean this nicely but: you have your lane now Korea, stop hurting us, that's Japan's responsibility and they do it better.

I Feel You Linger In the Air - I'm just hugely disappointed. Thailand ALMOST got its second 10/10 from me, but that damn ending.

Argh.

21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023

The shower of packaged bedsheets in My Personal Weatherman

Amazing. Brilliant. No notes.

22. Best Queer Rep 2023

Chot in Step By Step

In fact, all the queer characters in this show were treated with great integrity.

AND props to this cast for refusing to do fan service. GOOD FOR YOU! Fuck those sasang wankers.

Runners up? The found family cast of Love in Translation and the Rainbow Rice Cakes in The New Employee.

23. Best Meta Trope call out

Tin Tem Jai

Come on, what a zinger, but at themselves (and Taiwan)

Final question: which of the 23 was the hardest for me to pick?

Honestly? Question #1 this year. But also question #20.

(Last year: 2022's Version)

Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2023. Or The Sign probably would have taken multiple categories. But it will fall into 2024 offerings.

(source)

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bratpak · 3 months

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FLORIAN SANICO is the young, hot, and not rich CEO of ACIDIC RECORDS. He only acquired Acidic Records after his stepfather's passing in 2020. Being born in the Philippines in 1988 to a single mom, Florian grew up primarily raised by his grandparents until his mom found her future husband when Florian was just seven years old. Florian's stepfather would embody the term "the father that stepped up," immediately taking on the father role in Florian's life that the little boy so desperately wanted. When he was ten years old, Florian's father, a South Korean man, would relocate the family to South Korea for his work and to provide a better life for them, which he most certainly did. While in South Korea, Florian would attend the most expensive international school and the most prestigious universities there, obtaining degrees in business management, marketing, psychology, and international business.

Money has never been an issue for Florian if you can't tell.

Acidic Records was a mere side quest for his father, only housing underground indie soloists and producers. They never did anything noteworthy until Florian was appointed CEO in 2020, immediately opening auditions for their training program. Florian has always believed KPOP was where the money was, and his father was just too old to handle the times.

He was...almost right!

With the debut of BRATPACK in 2022, Florian found it much more difficult to break into the KPOP market than planned, initially losing a lot of money in the BRATPACK venture. However, with the group's rapidly rising success and album sales, Florian might not be such a failure after all.

ALMANDA SUMMERS is the alias of the creative director of BRATPACK. No one knows who she is or has ever seen her face. No one can find anything about this woman; seriously, she is a mystery.

Besides her Twitter account.

Almanda, believed to be a woman in her late twenties, is very active on Twitter and Instagram, often posting pictures of her visions for the group and commenting on recent events in the KPOP realm. Though she is quite loved by the fandom, some people believe she is an instigator and gets BRATPACK into drama they would've never gotten into if Almanda just turned her phone off.

Either way, her constantly running mouth doesn't derail her from being one of the most known and sought-after creative directors in KPOP at the moment. Bringing forth aesthetics and ideas the genre has never seen before or has left untouched for too long in her opinion, Almanda is an icon and legend in the making.

TONYA FUKUI is a former African-American—Japanese supermodel whose career was cut short due to a cheating scandal that had her dubbed "Japan's Hottest Homewrecker " for well over a decade now. Though her modeling career was done, she went behind the scenes and started working as a stylist for high-end clients, turned Jpop acts, and turned Kpop acts. Truly, she was just chasing where the money went to fund her purse addiction.

Tonya has worked with groups such as AESPA, NCT 127, NCT DREAM, RED VELVET, SHINEE, EXO, GOT7, STRAYKIDS, NMIXX, BLACKPINK, and many, many more. If you liked an outfit your favorite idol wore, Tonya most likely designed it for them.

Now, she primarily spends her time styling BRATPACK as she claims they let her be as creative as she wants. After years of being a punching bag for the general public, Tonya is finally adored again, mainly just people on BRATPACK Twitter, but hey! It's a start.

AUGUSTUS MOON is the main producer of BRATPACK. He began working in the KPOP industry at just seventeen years old when he and his sister, Autumn Moon, fled America and went to South Korea to get away from their abusive parents. Though Augustus has had some solo releases himself and has garnered a small following, he much prefers sticking behind the scenes as he says, "KPOP is not for me. I hate dancing." even though his Tiktok page will contradict that statement.

Augustus was born in 1995 in Chicago. He doesn't speak much about his time in America, deeming it "a test on if he really wanted to live or not" and saying his life only really started when he moved to South Korea and started making music.

Before exclusively working with Acidic Records and BRATPACK, Augustus would work with a wide variety of KPOP acts and make an even wider variety of songs. Some are phenomenal, and some are the worst things you've ever heard. Not every track can be a winner!

AUTUMN MOON is the main producer of BRATPACK and a part-time soloist. At sixteen, she fled America with her brother and moved to South Korea to get away from her abusive parents. Autumn and Augustus are glued at the hip. You'd swear they're twins by how in sync they are with one another.

Unlike her brother, Autumn is a soloist as well as a producer. However, she has seemingly put her own music career on the back burner to focus on BRATPACK and motherhood. That's right! Actual mother! Autumn has a nine-year-old son, Eunji, who she adores and loves dearly. She married her long-time boyfriend and ISSAYAH member, Suh Jaehyun, last summer and is currently pregnant with their first child.

Autumn has been very open about her love for music and how happy working with BRATPACK makes her. Between her very fulfilling personal life and flourishing career, Autumn has attracted her own fanbase, calling her "Life Goals" and starting the trend of autumnism, where people try to live their lives like Autumn's.

Though her solo career, which only caught her attention once she decided to hang it up, has been put on halt, Autumn is very happy with where she is in life and adds a layer of hope to the BRATPACK team.

#෨. ࣪ 𑂴 development #fictional idol community #kpop oc #idol oc #idol au #kpop addition #kpop au #fictional kpop community #bts addition #oc kpop group #fake kpop oc #fictional idol group #fictional kpop idol #idolverse #oc girl group #fake kpop idol

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respectthepetty · 1 year

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as a major fan of your Thai BL list, I shall now ask about your Korean BLs! 🤩

I think I can actually trust you 😌😌

Anon Two, thanks for tag-teaming this with the previous Anon, so y'all could squeeze another list out of me. To recap, I've already given y'all:

Top GMMTV Actors

Top GMMTV Pairs

Top Five Taiwanese BLs

Top Ten Thai BLs

So what's one more? @lachikapercebe also asked for this list, but requested only my top five; however, since I already started the list without a specific target number from Anon Two, and Korea gives some of the best confessions in the genre mixed with color coding, I can't reduce the list now. It's too late for me to trim it. I am attached to each pick. They are my children, and I can't desert them, so . . .

Top Ten Korean BLs

Rising Star - Love Tractor

I don't trust Korean BLs. A majority are too short, so either the beginning is confusing or the ending is flat, but unless Love Tractor completely fumbles the second half (which it could because . . . Korea), this will be a yearly top and even possibly an overall top for its country and all BLs. It's that good to me. It's hitting all the normal K-drama notes while being oh-so-very-gay. And as a rural queer, it pleases my soul to see country life presented in such a kind and beautiful way.

#10 - Roommates of Poongduck 304

Mr. Petty Peter Jae Yoon independently earned a spot on this list. Ho Joon was a jerk and a true nemesis when the show began, but Jae Yoon started effing up Ho Joon's home life the more Ho Joon kept messing up his work life, so it was a beautiful tit-for-tat the first few episodes; then, Ho Joon lost focus and wanted a consensual workplace relationship. His father appreciating his new attitude and rejection of his ladies' man ways was a delight to witness since we all knew it was due to him falling in love with a man. And oh boy did he fall in love. That entire conversation of Jae Yoon saying it's impossible for two men to fall in love, only for Ho Joon to respond that it was impossible for him NOT to fall in love with Jae Yoon is a top tier confession for me.

#9 - Blueming

I have issues with Blueming solely due to its ending because I was just as pissed as Siwon was at Daun. Maybe even more so. All was going well; then, the end of episode nine pulled a Thai episode eleven, and DAUN TOLD HIS MOM TO PICK THE FILM! I understand men in love do dumb shit, but that was a bold choice, and a very, very, VERY wrong one. As the youths say, "that was not the move." However, the cinematography was delicious like their silhouettes with that bewitching blue backdrop and their first kiss was realistic. Pretty kisses are cool and all, but the awkwardness of desperately wanting someone yet not knowing how to physically perform is true to many people's experiences and should be spotlighted more.

#8 - Choco Milk Shake

I only trust two entities with poly: Thai director Jojo, and Korea's Strongberry, so the fact that Strongberry did not give me poly when it was so clearly laid out is the reason this show isn't in the top three. It had a supernatural plot, great characters who were all well cast, and a happy ending, so WHY NOT POLY? I don't care if the rest of the world is ready or not. I'M READY! We are getting a second season, so if I if get a kiss AND a vocal acknowledgement of Milk and Choco's love for each other when their love for Jung Woo was well established in season one, this will cement its place in my heart and on this list forever.

#7 - Light on Me

Sixteen episodes with most running about thirty minutes?! A love triangle where I could root for both love interests?! A straight boy who earned his spot at the queer table?! Light on Me had it all and then some! Looking at my various lists, it's clear I am not fond of high school dramas, yet I was seated twice a week to see how our neurodivergent baby boy, Tae Kyung, fared that week in his adventure through social norms and annoyances, like trying to help a fellow peer by giving him back the dildo he dropped in the hallway, but getting yelled at instead. I was not Team Shin Woo until that cellphone confession, and then all I could see was Shin Woo. I'm telling y'all, Korea understands how to confess its unwavering love. Gets me every time!

#6 - The New Employee

As the BL fandom continues to evolve and expand, we will get more BLs geared toward adults and workplace dramas, but hopefully, they take the approach that The New Employee (and Thailand's Step by Step) did and make the work environment part of the drama. Working adults, sadly, spend a majority of their time at work, so finding love at one's job seems reasonable, but if anyone has experienced coworkers breaking up, that shit can get rough, real quick. So having to navigate a relationship with someone you work with, especially someone of a higher authority position, ON TOP OF being queer can be stressful, and is something I want more BLs to explore. There are levels to being out, and for most queers, being out at the job is not a possibility, but finding love anywhere is always a possibility, particularly for our late 20-something virgins.

#5 - Semantic Error

The fact that this came out in 2022 is beyond my understanding only because it seems like I have appreciated it for at least five years. This has become a comfort watch when it first started as a "nothing else is on" watch. I have never cared so much about honorifics in my life as I did watching the slow transition of Sang Woo’s emotional walls crumbling under Jae Young’s affection through language. As much as I hated the idea of forced collaboration (aka group projects), seeing the way Jae Young squirmed his way into Sang Woo’s every waking thought and had him seeing red to the point that Sang Woo was saving screenshots of Jae Young’s Instagram posts was a delight and one of the major reasons I keep returning to it. But the layered confession about Sang Woo finding Jae Young, a man, attractive which lead to Jae Young's countdown kiss is, once again, the reason Korean BLs win in the confession department.

#4 - The Eighth Sense

I'm still really bothered by some of the discourse that came out of this show about how it was better than everything else ever because the comments were reductive about the BL genre, yet some of the comments resonated with elements I loved about the series, mainly its look at mental health and trauma. It was a beautiful show, but the message it carried throughout about depression being isolating and taking the light out of people's lives hit me in a way that if this was the Thai list, I would have left it off because it felt like a personal attack. Wanting someone to save you from yourself, but terrified to drag them down with you was not the plot I wanted, but was the story a lot of us needed to see. We also needed to witness someone actively going to therapy. Let's continue this trend!

#3 - Our Dating Sim

"Have you been well . . . without me?" - Put this on my tombstone because I died and came back to life from this utterance alone. Episode four was already killing me, but once Eddy snapped and allowed all his emotions to spill out in front of Ian, the show came for all my past lives and future ones too. Deceased. I wrote this about the show while it was airing, but no other show has done the leave-him-because-I-love-him plot as well as Our Dating Sim. This show nailed it then made a billboard to boast about it because it was perfection. Ian's reasons for leaving were valid, but the show really shined by allowing Eddy to voice his anger at being ghosted for seven years by his best friend and someone he loved. It even touched on the trust issues that stem from someone saying he loves you only to abandon you. Just know I have NOT been well since this ended.

#2 - To My Star 1 & 2

The first season was almost perfect. The cat/dog energy, the "If it's hard for you, I'll come to you" confession, and the budding kink of Ji Woo kissing a tiny bloody wound on Seo Joon all served in a quick nine episodes gave me everything I needed, so I thought this would be my #1 the second season two was announced, but understand the sequel hurt me. The foundation was great: everyone came back, it had more episodes, the episodes were longer, and the conflict always existed in the first series, so a last-minute twist wasn’t invented. Yet, every single episode hurt. Much like I Told Sunset About You, it was realistic to the point that I expected it to end with pain. If season two was its own show and not a sequel to one of my favorites, it would have ranked higher because it was beautiful, but knowing the magic the first series possessed, and having to be a bystander to all the angst for EVERY EPISODE WITH NO RELIEF was tough. But, somehow, here I am secretly hoping we get blessed with a third series. That’s the power of the Star.

#1 - Long Time No See

Small flex - I've been involved with an international queer film festival for over a decade. I've seen easily over 1,000 pieces of queer media including feature films, short films, and documentaries through the screening process, which only adds to my always growing personal watched list. Long Time No See was one of those films. It didn't make it into the festival because I think it was already available on a streaming platform (maybe?), but it was a top for me then, and it's still a top for me now. Is it a BL? Not really. Is it a show? No, it's more like a two-part movie. So why am I allowing it to reign at the top of this list? BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING! In 2017, we were still getting the bury your gays trope shoved down our throats, so a film about two assassins getting a happy ending was a miracle. I read comments from some who did not like the portrayal of "toxic love" but were probably fine with Mr. and Mrs. Smith beating each other with cooking utensils for all the world's children to see, so God forbid, the queers do anything like want to kill AND fuck each other. Niña, Pinta, and Santa María, LET THE GAYS DO CRIMES TOO! Oh, and it's Strongberry, so because of this film - In Strongberry I trust.

#top korean bls #long time no see #to my star #our dating sim #the eighth sense #semantic error #the new employee #light on me #choco milk shake #blueming #roommates of poongduck 304 #love tractor #korean bls #in strongberry we trust

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yunhoee · 1 month

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Summary: The year is 2031, and y/n is looking for a fresh start on her vacation with her sister. 3 months post breakup, and she's ready to stop wallowing. Korea has been a dream location for y/n for years, she is excited for all the sightseeing and food! Her sister has other plans, when she suggests attending a certain someone's charity birthday event.

Pairing: idol!Seonghwa x corporate!reader

Genre: fluff, romance, angst, seonghwa x reader, ateez ensemble

Length: 8,947 words

Author’s Note: I’m not sure yet if this fic will have smut! Once that has been figured out, I will update the tags if I need to :) I hope you enjoy! I don’t have a proofreader, so I apologize if there are any errors!

You jolt awake to the sound of your airplane pilot asking everyone to remain seated, because the plane will be landing soon. It takes you a few minutes to figure out where the fuck you are. You decided to take sleeping medicine since flying isn’t your favorite. The last thing you remember is the flight attendants making your bed. You are an established 35 year old, so the first class seats on a long ass flight were much needed.

Ten minutes later, you’re situated and looking out the window. You peek to the seat next to you, to see your younger sister somehow still asleep. It’s her 21st birthday, and you both are finally going on the trip you’ve been trying to make happen for years now. You gently wake her up so that the seat can be upright. She has the same look on her face that you did, so you leave her alone until she’s more awake.

So what exactly is this trip you’re on? Well it’s you and your sister’s dream trip to Korea. You’ve been promising your sister a trip together to Korea since she graduated high school, but could never get the timing right and here you are in 2031, finally making it happen. Over the years, you both have formed a love for Korea through k-pop, k-dramas, and food. It was exciting to be going to all these places you’ve been dreaming of seeing for years. You weren’t into k-pop as much anymore, but still had your favorites of course. You love to travel so knowing you’re about to land in Korea feels surreal.

“Oh my god, Y/n! I can’t believe we are about to land!” Your sister whispers excitedly.

You smile back at her, “Me either!”

You both watch the window in excitement during the landing process. You will be in Korea for at least the next two weeks. Your first stop and most likely home base is Seoul, but you both plan on going to as many different cities as you can.

A few hours later

Your sister pushed open the hotel room door, “Damn, Y/n! You rolled out the red carpet for me. This room is huge!”

You laugh and respond, “Well we’ve been trying to make this happen for so long, and we don’t get to travel together often so I wanted it to be special. My new promotion didn’t hurt either.”

You both laugh as you’re taking in the room, and the views from the room. You’ve spent the last decade climbing the corporate ladder, it all feels worth it in moments like this. Being able to have no budget on this trip and spoil your sister rotten, what’s better than that?

“Em, do you mind if I take the first shower?” You asked as you started gathering your shower things.

Emma responds, “You’re good! I need to rest and eat my snacks for a little bit!”

You smile and nod. The bathroom is honestly luxurious. You spent a few minutes just looking around. The shower is huge, and the water feels amazing. After taking an extra long and boiling hot shower, you’re at least feeling somewhat more human. Walking back into the room, you find your sister frantically speaking Korean on the phone with one of her friends. You just smile and lay in your bed, assuming it’s just something about her friends.

Emma is in the fall semester of her third year of college. She is also minoring in Korean, which is partially why we are here. We planned a few grad school visits, just to see if she is interested in them. But her being fluent in Korean is so helpful for this trip. You’ve always been the older sister, the second mom to Emma. Now that you’re in a new country where only Emma speaks the language fluently, it’ll be nice to take the back seat to some things.

Honestly this trip for you is a break from life altogether. You’ve been crushing it at work, as usual, but went through a pretty nasty breakup almost 3 months ago. It was definitely one of those moments where you felt as if you had to start all over again. You thought your ex of 5 years was going to be your husband. He got scared of how serious things were getting, and decided to cheat. So yeah. This trip is the start of your new life. The last 3 months have been filled with unimaginable grief and hurt, but you were done crying. Your ex making things official with his mistress was exactly what you needed to make this trip happen.

As you’re mindlessly scrolling on social media, you hear your sister end the call with her friend. She comes over and sits on the bed, and you can tell something is up just by the look on her face.

“What?” You ask in an exaggerated tone.

Emma puts on a smile and the most charm she can muster, “Thank you so much for bringing me on this trip, y/n! I love you so much and I’m so excited to start our adventures together.”

You’re completely confused now, “What the hell did you do, Em? I’m so excited for us too, but why are you acting suspicious as fuck right now?”

Emma responds, “Nothing! I’m just really excited for our adventure to get started, so I made plans for us tonight!”

Y/n’s mouth drops open, “Tonight?! EM! Are you crazy? We just had an almost 20 hour travel day! Look I know you’re young, but I can’t do the same things you can. I’m 35! I need my sleep.”

Emma looks dejected, “I’m sorry. I was just really excited, and my friend was able to get us tickets to this event tonight. It’s going to be really cool, lots of celebrities too. My friend works for the company, so it’s a really cool opportunity.”

Y/n grabs Emma’s hand, “I’m sorry if I came off aggressive, I was just surprised. You should totally go, Em! What a cool opportunity for you! I wonder if you could even network.” Y/n finished talking, but is now lost in thought trying to figure out how to give her sister tips on how to network.

Em squeezes your hand, “Hey. No work talk on this trip okay? I have barely seen you because of work the last 3 months. You haven’t been slick.” She pokes your side.

Y/n smiles, “Yeah because of the breakup, I kind of turned into a workaholic. But no more! I’m starting brand new on this trip. –About earlier, please go? Can you go with your friend? I would hate for you to miss something like this because I’m too tired.”

Emma responds as she’s standing up from your bed, “Oh I suppose I can just go with my friend. But you didn’t even let me tell you who’s at the party. Or I guess who the party is for.”

You quirk your eyebrow, “Who’s the party for?”

Emma smiles deviously, “Park Seonghwa.”

You immediately freeze. Surely Emma isn’t talking about the Seonghwa from ATEEZ. They’ve been doing things as a group here and there, mainly in Korea. After their military service, they’ve been slow to return to their previous schedule. Which you were happy with, they deserve a break. Coming to Korea, you hadn’t even thought of the chance of getting to go to one of their events. They have always been your ult group, but it’s definitely slowed down since their hiatus, and your life getting busy. Your ex hated ateez, but especially hated Seonghwa. Honestly, a huge red flag you simply ignored.

Y/n sighs, “Is this like a public event? I don’t want to be creepy and just show up to a closed event.”

Emma sits on the bed next to you, “So it’s Seonghwa’s birthday, but he wanted to make it a charity event. Hence the tickets. It’s actually a really big event, since it’s the first one KQ has put on in a while. There will be a handful of different organizations there, and all the proceeds from tonight will be split amongst the groups!”

You smile, “Wow. That doesn’t surprise me, they’ve always been generous.”

Emma responds, “There’s going to be a bunch of different fun activities. Lot’s of KQ staff, atiny’s, and just people who support Seonghwa and ateez. My friend who works there said the members would love it if fans came too.”

Y/n is in disbelief, “Your friend works for KQ? Damn Emma, that's crazy.”

Emma chuckles, “Minoring in the Korean language helps. I did a project on KQ last year, and my friend was just an intern at the time. Now she’s a full-time employee! I’m so excited to finally meet her in person. But I told her all about your situation, and how you’d be hesitant to come. She wanted me to tell you that Seonghwa is really excited at the thought of seeing international atiny again, since it’s been a few years since they’ve performed outside of Korea.”

Y/n thinks for a moment and sighs, “So I guess I’m going tonight?”

Emma squeals, “Yes!!! You won’t regret it! I really think tonight is going to be a lot of fun! And you’ll get to see ateez members again!”

You groan and pull the covers up, “So what do we wear? I’m barely functioning right now, so I’m going to need your help.”

Emma jumps right up, “I’m on it! You can just rest until it’s time to get ready.”

You hum in response and immediately fall asleep.

You awaken to Emma shaking you awake.

“Oh my god I started to think you were dead. Get up, we need to get you ready! We leave in an hour and a half.” Emma pulls on your arm and helps you stand. To be honest, the jet lag was hitting hard. Everything currently didn’t feel real. You just knew you needed to move.

Emma was able to get you into a chair in the bathroom. She starts brushing and straightening, as you try to come back to reality by going through social media. A coffee and thirty minutes later, you were in a much better place.

Emma sighs in relief, “There. All straight. I’ll get your dress and accessories all set up! Come out once you’re done with makeup.”

You grab her arm and smile, “Thank you. I literally couldn’t have done this without you. And oh my god!! You look so cute! I was so out of it, I’m so sorry I didn’t notice!”

Emma smiles at her sister and spins to show her the full outfit. After more compliments, Emma is begging you to start makeup because time is running short.”

You giggle and start going through your makeup bag. You weren’t sure what dress Emma picked out, so you just went with your normal makeup routine. Adding extra things here and there, since this is a big event.

Emma peeks her head in, “You look hot! My one request is that you have a red lip! It will be perfect with your dress.” She’s gone before you can respond.

You shrug and start digging in your bag for your red lipstick.

A few minutes later, you’re walking out to see what Emma picked out for you. The second you see the dress you protest.

“Isn’t this a charity event? I packed this dress in case you forced me to go clubbing.” Y/n crosses her arms.

Emma puts her hands up, “Hey, you can’t be mad at me for trying.”

You both are laughing as she gets out her option b dress. She pulls out a strappy a-line black dress. It was mid-length with a slit in the side, but it hugged every curve. Your cleavage is on full display.

Y/n looks at her sister horrified, “You don’t think this is too much” as she gestures to her chest.

Emma shakes her head, “You’ll definitely get some stares, but we’ll cover up on the train. I already asked my friend, and she said there’s no problem with showing some skin! They’ll know we’re foreigners anyway.”

You look in the mirror again. You can’t deny that you look hot, adding red lipstick was definitely the move. Emma and y/n move around the room gathering their purses and making sure they aren’t forgetting anything. One of your straps has already fallen twice, it’s beautiful but a pain in the ass. Your sister hands you your coverup for the train, and you both rush out the door.

As you’re walking you ask, “So where is this happening?”

Emma responds, “They rented out an event center like ten minutes away from here. Nari, my friend who works at KQ, already gave me directions so we’ll be good. She’s going to be watching for us as well!”

“Wow how generous of her. Are you two pretty close?” Y/n asks.

Your sister smiles, “Yeah we’ve been online friends for almost three years now! I can’t wait to finally meet her.”

Y/n smiles back at her sister, and the two of you walk to the train in comfortable silence. You both are admiring all of the new around you. Once you’re seated on the train, the anxiety starts building. The thought of seeing ateez again after being a fan for so many years. The last time you saw them was the tour before they enlisted, which was maybe around four years ago. The nerves are settling in. Before a few hours ago, you had no idea that you would even have the opportunity to see ateez. You are laughing at yourself in your head, feeling like a young fangirl again. You push the nerves down, tonight was all about having fun with your sister and admiring ateez from a distance.

Emma pulls you out of your thoughts, “So I guess I should mention that there’s going to be a ton of cameras outside the event.”

You raise your eyebrow, “Cameras? Well I guess that makes sense. Maybe there will be a way we can go around them?”

Emma smirks, “I wouldn’t count on it. Ours is the next stop.”

You look up and see the next stop is Gangnam. You’re pretty sure that’s the wealthy area of Seoul, makes sense. You can’t help but notice your heart picking up its pace when it’s time to get off the train.

“Are you sure this dress is okay? And that it’s okay for us to be at this event?” Y/n asks Emma.

Emma tries to comfort her sister, “Of course, y/n. It’s a charity event, so anyone with money is welcome. If it makes you feel better, you could always make a donation.”

Y/n breathes and smiles, “Yeah you’re right. I think that would make me feel a lot better. We just aren’t celebrities, so I’m worried about the cameras. Or people questioning why we are there.”

Emma slows to a stop and pulls y/n to the side, “You’ve got to trust me on this okay? My friend works for the company, we are technically her guests. You’re hot and have money, you have no reason to be worried. There’s going to be different activities to raise money, and lots of alcohol. Let’s just have fun tonight, okay?”

You smile at your sister, “You really are all grown up. You’re right, I’m sorry I’m just jet-lagged and nervous.”

You both laugh as you continue walking to the venue. The closer you get, you start to see a lot of security.

“Let me call Nari and tell her we’re about to come in!”, Emma says as she pulls out her phone.

From the distance you can see the venue, people dressed to the nines entering but not before going through a tunnel of photographers. You can also hear MATZ playing inside, trying not to freak out, you decide to let the music give you courage.

Emma grabs your arm, “Okay she’s inside waiting! Let’s go.”

Emma handles security and shows your tickets. They wave you through and you are met with paparazzi everywhere. You try to keep a smile on your face, while you and Emma rush through the cameras. Once inside you both can’t help but laugh. Your laughter is cut off when you look around and see how beautiful the venue is. You are relieved to see that you are in fact not overdressed.

“EMMA!” You hear someone yell. You see a girl run over and nearly tackle your sister with a hug. A smile appears on y/n’s face when she sees her sister finally getting to meet her friend. They spend a few moments laughing and hugging.

“Nari! This is my sister y/n!” Emma brings her over to you.

You take Nari’s hand, “It’s so nice to meet you! Thank you for inviting us tonight! This place is beautiful.”

Nari smiles at you, “I’m so happy you came! I know you both are fighting jet-lag, but I promise tonight will be worth it.”

Emma responds, “Here give me your coverup, y/n! I can give it to the person checking items.”

You’re hesitant, but slowly take your coverup off.

“You’re sure this isn’t too much?” Y/n asks.

Nari reassures you, “Not at all! You look hot! I know the members will appreciate that dress”

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head, “Ah well I think you are just being nice! Besides, I probably won’t be that close to them.”

Emma returns and Nari asks her, “You didn’t tell her?”

You’re immediately on edge, “Tell me what?”

Emma sheepishly smiles, “Well I didn’t think you would come if I told you.”

Nari rolls her eyes at Emma and explains, “Our seats are right by them. I work for KQ, but over the years I’ve become friends with the members! They’re really excited to meet my American friends. Actually they’re the reason I had two extra tickets. Normally staff only get one, but they knew my situation and insisted on giving me an extra one.”

It takes all of your strength to not run out of the building, or fall to the ground. Yes, you’re an atiny and have been for years. But meeting the members was never on your list! You can be very shy, especially when you’re nervous.

“I wish weed was legal here,” You whisper to the girls.

They both laugh and Nari suggests, “How about we get a drink first? Then we will have to find our seats! But I promise, they’re excited to meet you! I told them you’ve been a fan since the beginning.”

The three of you walk to find a server that has glasses of champagne. The information Nari just told you is making your legs a little wobbly. You’re definitely going to get Emma for this. You grab a glass, chug it, and put it back on the tray.

Grabbing another one, “Okay, ready as I’ll ever be.”

Nari giggles, “I promise you don’t have to be nervous.”

You nod your head, as if that’s going to happen. Nari leads you to your table. The table is near the stage, you weren’t expecting to be this close. You are going to have a nice chat with Emma after this for leaving out so many important details. Once you get seated, you start trying to secretly do some breath work. Thankfully you’ve been meditating for years, so it doesn’t take long to get your heart rate back down. Putting on your professional face, since that’s the only way you’re going to get through this without throwing up. Just in time too, you hear a familiar voice.

“Nari!” You look over to see Hongjoong coming to say hi. He looks incredibly beautiful, it’s hard to not just stare at him.

They speak for a few moments in Korean. Emma also joined in and introduced herself in Korean.

“And is this your sister?” Well there’s no turning back now.

You smile, “Hi! Yeah I’m y/n, Emma’s older sister. It’s so nice to meet you, Hongjoong!”

He sits in the empty seat next to you, “Nari tells me you’re an atiny?”

“Yeah! I started listening to ateez in 2019, and was lucky enough to go to a few shows when you came to America over the years”, Y/n says with a light blush.

Hongjoong’s eyes lit up, “Ah really? Which city were you in?”

Y/n explains, “Well you never came to my state, but the closest show near me was always Chicago! I traveled there multiple times for your shows.”

He smiles, “Chicago is always so special to us. I’m glad to know you were there.”

You can’t help the tears that prick your eyes, “You’re so endearing, Hongjoong. I can feel your love for atiny just by looking at you. I’m glad to know you weren’t secretly a jerk.”

Hongjoong laughs as you see his eyes become misty, “I just understand all that goes into being a fan. The money spent, the time, I don’t take that lightly. It means a lot to me that people would disrupt their normal lives to see our music.”

You smile brightly, “Well you’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever seen! Every penny spent was well worth it.”

A staff member is waving for Hongjoong.

“Can we take a quick picture?” Hongjoong asked.

You’re surprised, “Oh my god of course. I should definitely be the one asking you.”

Hongjoong laughs and you both stand up. Handing your phone to your sister, you don’t miss the shit eating grin she’s wearing. You can basically hear her telling you ‘I told you so’, but at this moment you really don’t care. Hongjoong places his hand around your waist, surprised but not mad about it, and he pulls you in close. You both smile brightly, and Nari says something that makes you all start laughing.

Hongjoong holds your hands, “Thank you for coming, y/n. I know you were really nervous, but we wanted you to come. I’ll see you later?”

You smile hoping you weren’t bright red, “Yeah of course. Thanks jjoong.”

His eyes light up at the nickname as he’s walking back towards the staff. You plop down in your seat and just stare in shock.

“I’m waiting for my thank you.” Emma says with a smirk.

You roll your eyes, the alcohol is starting to make you warm and fuzzy. Or maybe that was just from your conversation with Hongjoong.

Someone comes onto the stage, and starts the event. You have no idea what they’re saying because it’s all in Korean, but you don't mind.

You take this time to look around. Your table being in the front, but a little off to the side. You see that there’s one table to your left, and the one next to that is ateez’s table. You try to not just stare at them, but wow. The last time you saw them this close, was their final concert before their military service. Most of them look physically bigger, and a little older, but it’s still your ateez. You can’t help but smile at the thought. Your strap falls for the millionth time, interrupting your thoughts. You sigh and pull it back up.

A bunch of clapping causes you to look on stage. You see Seonghwa shaking the man’s hand and coming up to speak. You smile as you see him start speaking. You’re not sure what he’s saying, but he’s absolutely perfect. Your heart eyes showing from a mile away.

“Stop drooling,” Your sister whispers with a smile.

You shoo your sister so you can go back to staring lovingly at Seonghwa. He’s just so beautiful, how could you not?! You feel much more relaxed now thanks to the alcohol. As Seonghwa ends his speech, the waiters all come out with what you’re assuming is dinner. It smells delicious, and you begin eating without a second thought.

Nari asks you, “I’m glad to see you feel more comfortable! Are you having fun?”

Y/n smiles, “I am! Thank you again. So what else is going to happen? Emma clearly didn’t fill me in on anything.” You give your sister a dirty look.

Nari laughs, “Well right now the members are preparing for the short concert they’re putting on for us.” You look to where ateez was sitting, to see that none of them are there anymore. Nari continues, “After that, there will be different games to raise money for the organizations tonight. Oh and then we will head to KQ for the afterparty!”

Your eyes widen, “Afterparty? At KQ? Are you sure I’m allowed to come to that? I don’t want the members to be uncomfortable!”

Nari looks at Emma, “I see why you didn’t tell her.”

They both laugh and Nari continues, “You and Emma are already on the list. If that doesn’t make you feel better, then just know that you also have a personal invitation from Hongjoong.”

“You guys are trying to kill me.” Y/n says before taking a giant swig of her drink.

The tables have been cleared, and the lights go out indicating the beginning of the concert. It feels surreal when the lights come back on, and ateez is standing on the stage. Their aura fills the room, you can feel the energy levels rising. Since this is Korea, you know the expectations for concerts are much different here than in America. Especially since this is a charity concert. The music starts, and ateez begins performing. The fact that they’re performing Crazy Form right in front of you, and you have to just sit there is difficult. You love hyping them up.

You and Emma start dancing and singing along quietly in your seats. The other side of the table is filled with Nari’s work friends. The more you and Emma are enjoying yourselves, the more Nari and the other staff at the table join in. At this point your table is having the most fun, singing and dancing while sitting together. This entire time you want to pinch yourself. How is this real?

The next song they perform is Bouncy, you and your table getting more rowdy by the minute. Everyone feels the alcohol taking away their worries. Hongjoong walks over to your side of the stage, laughing at the sight of kq staff and new friends. He loves the energy, and encourages it. After a few more songs, and lot’s of giggling from your table, Hongjoong begins to speak before the next song.

“Thank you everyone for coming! It’s been such a special night celebrating Seonghwa turning 33. We only have a few more songs before all the games and fun begin. But I wanted to dedicate this next song to a special atiny from America. Her coming tonight was all by chance, and I think that just shows the deep connection that ateez and atiny will always have. We will always find a way to be together, even by accident.”

Your eyes are watery and you smile at Hongjoong. Emma hugs you from behind while sitting, knowing you’re probably trying not to cry. Dreamy Day starts playing, and you have to try even harder not to cry. The members are all making sure to come to your side of the stage and wave. None of this feels real, but your heart feels like it could explode with how happy you are. Your table starts waving their arms to the chorus, and you of course join in. Emma hasn't seen you smile this big in a really long time.

After the show, you just sit there for a minute sipping on water. Still trying to convince yourself that all of that just happened.

You feel Nari’s hand on your shoulder, “Alright let’s go get more drinks and see what games there are!”

Y/n smiles and walks with Nari and Emma. The three of you decide to take a shot at the bar together, before grabbing your mixed drinks. Walking into the other main room you smile. It’s decorated like a carnival, all the games you used to play when you were younger were there. There’s an atm, so you go pull out a good chunk of cash. You walk back to Emma and Nari and hand them both a stack of money.

“Go ahead! I’m going to check out the different organizations over there” You point to the booths on the other side of the room. “I want to make sure I get my donation in, before I get too tipsy.”

Emma asks, “Are you sure? You don’t want us to come with you?”

Y/n smiles, “I won’t be gone long, and then I’ll come find you!”

Emma nods her head, “Thank you for the spending money! Call me if you get lost.”

You laugh and walk towards the booths. Your strap falls…again. You pull it back up as you get to the first booth.

You smile and say, “Hello.”

The people look at you and then look at each other. One of them manages to say, “Sorry. No English.”

You internally slap your forehead. You’re in Korea, of course they don’t speak English. You look to where Emma was, and she’s gone.

Y/n apologizes in Korean to the people at the booth. She feels someone closely behind her, probably waiting their turn. So she goes to move out of the way.

“Wait.” You hear the person behind you say.

You turn and are shocked at what you see.

“Seonghwa.” The name came out of your mouth so naturally.

He laughs, “And you must be y/n? I was looking for you.”

You’re surprised by that, “You were looking for me?”

Seonghwa nods his head, “Yeah Hongjoong wouldn’t shut up about you. I wanted to meet you myself.”

You can’t help the blush that appears on your cheeks, “Can I ask you a favor?” You surprise yourself by your boldness.

“Anything.” Seonghwa smiles.

You look back to the booths, “Can you translate what these organizations do for me? I would ask Emma or Nari, but I already sent them off to play games. I was wanting to make a donation, but it’s hard when I don’t know what they do.”

You don’t notice, but Seonghwa can’t stop smiling at you, “Of course. I’d love to.”

It took about twenty minutes for Seonghwa to explain the different organizations. You decided on the orphanage that was from Seonghwa’s hometown. Thanking him profusely for translating. He’s surprised to see you walk up to the organization from his hometown, something in his chest begins to stir. He sees the people at the booth jump up when they see your donation amount. They begin bowing and shaking your hand. He can’t help but chuckle when he sees your surprised face. You kept telling them it wasn’t necessary to thank you, you were happy to help.

You walk back to him, face flushed. You were so embarrassed by their big reaction to your donation, you didn’t notice your strap fell…again.

Seonghwa gently pulled your strap back onto your shoulder. You look at him with wide eyes, heart pounding.

“What made you pick them?” He looks to the booth you just came from.

You smile, “Well it’s your birthday. I wanted to support a place from your hometown. Is that okay?”

Seonghwa responds, “Of course. You just surprised me.”

You say cheekily, “I’m full of surprises.”

You both laugh and your heart races when you see the way he looks at you.

“Well, I guess I should find Emma and Nari. Thanks again for helping me!” You say with a smile.

Seonghwa asks, “Can I walk with you?”

You look surprised, “Oh of course! You don’t need to get back to your party?”

He smiles, “Nah. I’m off duty now.”

The two of you begin walking to the carnival part of the party. You can’t help but look at all the games, wondering how they got everything in here.

“Wanna play?” Seonghwa asks, standing in front of the skee ball.

You respond, “Yeah! Let me go to the atm real quick.”

He stops you, “No I want to pay for you. Please? It is my birthday.”

You stand there conflicted, “Fine but only a few games! I’m perfectly capable of paying for my own games.”

Seonghwa smirks, “I’m fully aware. Let me take care of you tonight.”

You blush at his statement, but nod your head.

The two of you begin your skee ball game. It only takes a few rounds for your ultra competitive side to come out.

Seonghwa stands triumphantly, “Ha! That’s 5-1. I thought you said you were good at this game?”

You gasp at him, “I am!! It’s because you have longer arms, and the setup is a little different than what I’m used to!” You are very clearly pouting over losing.

Seonghwa can’t stop the laugh that explodes out of him. While you stand there pouting.

He looks behind you, “The air hockey just opened up, want to lose on that too?”

You give him a dirty look and walk to where the air hockey machine is.

“I’m actually really good at this, so you better watch out.” Y/n says with confidence.

Seonghwa chuckles, “That’s what you said at skee ball.”

You roll your eyes, “Let’s stop talking so I can stomp you. Then you’ll see.”

You both have spent the last ten minutes being ultra competitive with each other. The two of you are completely zoned in, and determined to win this game. The trash talk comes out so naturally anytime one of you scores, or someone misses. From the outside, it doesn’t look like two strangers who just met tonight.

“HA! Game point for me!!” You yell as you serve the puck.

Seonghwa says nothing, he’s too busy trying not to lose to you. He hits the puck back, but accidentally makes the puck fly up off board. It’s not the first time your finger has been smacked by the puck, but it always manages to hurt really fucking bad. You drop into a squat, holding your finger tightly.

“Ow! Fuck.” You yelp. You squeeze your eyes and just wait for the pain to subside.

Before you know it, you feel two hands on your elbows lifting you back up to stand. You look to see that it was Seonghwa, and he looks terrified.

“I’m so sorry! Is your finger okay? Can I look at it?” He asks with worry.

You smile, “Don’t worry, I’m fine! It hurt really bad when it happened, but the pain already went away.” Seonghwa doesn’t look convinced so you continue, “You’re telling me your fingers have never been hit while playing air hockey? Seriously, it happens all the time, I’m okay.”

Seonghwa lets out the breath he was holding, “You’re right. I’m sorry though that it happened. I didn’t like seeing you in pain, it really scared me.” He looks into your eyes, the concern for you still there. Seonghwa continues, “But if you promise you’re okay, we should find something else to play.” This is when he notices your strap fell in the commotion. He fixes it gently…again.

“Ah I see. You’re trying to get out of finishing the game so you can’t lose right?” You say cheekily.

Seonghwa smirks, “Nah, I just felt bad beating you after your finger got hurt.”

Your eyes widen as you argue that he was actually not going to beat you, and Seonghwa can’t help but burst into laughter. He loves teasing you.

-After beating Seonghwa in air hockey-

You have the biggest shit eating grin, “Hey better luck next time yeah?”

He shakes his head at you, “A sore loser and a sore winner? You continue to surprise me, y/n.”

You pout, “No I’m not! Maybe you’re just not as good as you thought?”

Seonghwa’s eyebrows raise as he holds in a laugh, “Is that so?”

Y/n smiles and checks her phone. Shit an hour has already gone by.

“I’m sorry, I should probably check on my sister.” You say, and are sad at the thought of having to say bye to Seonghwa.

Seonghwa responds, “You don’t need to apologize. Let me help you look.”

You spend the next five minutes looking around. The two of you gushing over how fun the event turned out, and how it was decorated perfectly.

“Y/n!” You turn your head to see Emma sitting with Nari and her friends.

You smile and walk over, “Hey! There you are. Are you two having fun?”

Now that you’re closer, you notice a boy sitting next to your sister. Even though your sister is very much an adult, you still feel fiercely protective of her.

Emma responds, “It’s been great! I see you found Seonghwa.”

You turn to formally introduce him, “Oh yeah he helped translate the charity organizations for me! We’ve been playing games for a while, but Seonghwa, this is my sister Emma! Emma, I’m sure you don’t need the introduction.”

They laugh and greet each other.

Emma says to Seonghwa, “You were always my bias! It’s so nice to meet you, you’re even more beautiful in person.”

Seonghwa smiles and puts his hand to his chest, “Thank you! It’s always nice to meet atiny.” He looks at you cheekily, “Was I your bias too?”

You’re surprised by the question at first. You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol, or just being in Seonghwa’s presence. The confidence is radiating inside you.

You tilt your head, “Why do you want to know?”

He turns to you and fixes your strap that had fallen…again, “Hm. Just curious.”

You pretend to think for a moment, “I always loved all eight of you, but no. I have..different tastes.” Your smile radiates throughout the room.

Seonghwa can’t help the smirk that appears, “So bratty.”

You don’t notice how Emma and Nari are nearly screaming because of the flirting and tension between you two. You haven’t even noticed that Hongjoong was sitting with your sister and her friends.

Hongjoong interrupts, “Damn Seonghwa, just take her home already.”

You both immediately put distance in between each other. You walk and take the empty seat next to the random guy sitting by your sister. The blush is still lingering on your cheeks. Did you really just do all of that right in front of your sister?! You need to get it together. Seonghwa takes the seat next to Hongjoong, at the other side of the table. It’s a big round table, so you can still see each other.

You try to change the conversation, “So Emma, want to introduce me to your friends?”

The people they were hanging out with are Nari’s friends who also work at KQ. You now know that only Nari, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and one other speak english. You encourage them all to speak Korean comfortably, you didn’t mind at all.

They continue their conversations. A waiter comes by, and you gladly take a drink from the tray. You begin sipping it while looking around the room. Everyone seems to be having a really great time. You look across the table to Seonghwa, who’s already looking at you. Your heart starts pounding, and you try to be calm as you give him a small smile. You look away and take a big swig of your drink.

You check the time and see that it’s already 9:30pm. You already know you only have a few more hours until your body just completely shuts down from exhaustion. You decide to send a quick text to Emma, hoping she’ll let you skip the after party.

“Oh no you don’t!” Emma stops mid conversation with her friends. Everyone at the table now looks confused at her. She continues, “Y/n is trying to leave early! No way! You can sleep all day tomorrow, we’re not going back until the early morning!”

You look at her shocked, “Early morning?! Are you trying to kill me?!”

Emma isn’t having it, “I don’t want to hear it! We never get to do stuff like this together, when will we ever be in Korea like this together?”

Your head drops and you sigh in defeat, “Okay okay. I’m going to go find the bathroom, but I’ll be back.”

Emma nods and is back into her conversation, you stand and start walking away. Thankfully the bathroom isn’t far from where you’re sitting. After you wash your hands, you start fixing your hair and makeup. When you walk out, you see people going up the stairs. You look to where your sister is, still engrossed in her conversation. You let curiosity take you up the stairs. There’s more tables, and more conversations happening. You’re drawn to the two big doors that are open, leading to the balcony. You stand and hold the railing, your breath taken away by the night beauty of Korea.

“There you are.” A familiar voice from behind.

You smile and turn, “Here I am.”

Seonghwa walks and stands next to you, “I thought you might be trying to sneak and go back to your hotel.”

You giggle, “No way. Emma would kill me.”

Seonghwa smiles, “You’re a good big sister.”

You’re surprised by his words, “Oh- thank you. I definitely have room for improvement, but I love taking care of my family.”

Seonghwa can tell how sincere your words are, he feels how genuine you are. The two of you are unaware that you are both just standing there staring into each other’s eyes.

Seonghwa clears his throat, “I-I meant to come get you because they’re about to start the closing speeches.”

“Oh!” You turn and start walking with Seonghwa, “Thank you for coming to get me! I had no idea.”

He smiles and the two of you walk in comfortable silence back to the main room. He walks you to your table and you thank him again.

“It’s no problem, y/n.” He surprises you and fixes your strap…again. “Don’t run away tonight without saying goodbye. I want to make sure I get to talk to you again.”

You can’t help the blush that appears on your cheeks, “Okay.” You say, nothing more than a whisper.

Seonghwa smiles at you, and walks back to his table. You plop into your chair, in a daze. You look up to see that you missed the fact that Nari and Emma were already sitting and saw the whole thing.

You cover your face, “Don’t.”

Emma has a devious smile, “Oh I don’t know what you’re talking about y/n. I definitely haven’t noticed the palpable chemistry between you two, or the way you two look at each other, or the way he fixes your strap for you.”

“Stoooooop.” You whine, “It’s really nothing. Maybe just a little flirting? But he’s an idol, we can’t be anything more than friends.”

Nari asks, “Why not?”

You look confused, “What do you mean? It’s been awhile since I’ve actively been into k-pop, but I know how strict the dating rules are. Even if there aren’t rules though, the fans take dating pretty hard.”

Nari responds, “You can’t really listen to the people who get angry when an idol starts dating. They clearly have an unhealthy parasocial relationship. Besides, Korea has taken positive steps when it comes to idols dating in the past few years. Especially when the members came back from military service, I think most atiny just want them to be happy.”

You smile, “I’m glad things have gotten better, but I don’t think you guys should get your hopes up about Seonghwa and I. He’s amazing and we get along really well, but he can have anyone he wants. I’m not Korean, I don’t speak fluently like Emma. I wouldn’t be against learning, I just think there’s a lot of reasons he wouldn’t want to pursue a relationship with me. Besides, I’m two years older than him.”

Emma slumps back into her seat, “I knew you would argue against it.”

“Em-” The MC interrupts you, ending the conversation for now. Most of the time you have no idea what’s happening. You pick up a few familiar phrases here and there. At one point the whole room is instructed to sing happy birthday to Seonghwa. His smile took your breath away. Seeing the other members love on him and tease him, it was very endearing. The two of you make eye contact, and you give him a big smile.

To end the celebration, you recognize the people you donated to from Seonghwa’s hometown, standing on stage to close it out. At least that’s what you assume since you don’t understand Korean. Until you see them point to you and everyone turns to look at you. The room erupts in cheering, and you are sitting there horrified. You have no idea why all these random people are clapping for you.

Emma translates, “They’re celebrating the largest donation their organization has seen to date! Y/n, they’re thanking you!”

Emma grabs your arm and walks you onto the stage, internally freaking the fuck out.

“I’ll be your translator,” Emma whispers in your ear. She tells you that part of the contest was seeing who would donate the most. Since you committed to $10k usd a month for an entire year, that makes you the winner. You really wish you would’ve known that before.

The owners of the orphanage both hug you, and thank you profusely. You have Emma explain to them that you didn’t know about the competition, and that you just really loved what they were doing. Unfortunately for you, the crowd loved that even more.

The prize is a trip to Jinju to see the city, and to also tour the orphanage so you can see where your money is going. You feel really touched by them and can’t help the tears that prick your eyes. You thank them yourself in Korean, and hug them both once more. Once you all are off the stage, you are able to exchange contact information so you can figure out your trip.

While all of this is happening, you miss the way Seonghwa is looking at you. Like you personally hung the moon and stars.

Hongjoong elbows him, “Stop drooling.”

After saying bye to the owners, you shyly went back to your seat. You could feel all eyes on you, your strap decides to fall…again. God you couldn’t wait to rip this dress off. Once you sat, Nari grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently.

“I know you’re embarrassed, but you did a really good thing,” Nari says to you.

You smile, “Thank you. I love being able to help financially.” Your genuine aura is like a warm hug to Nari.

She whispers, “Your boyfriend didn’t take his eyes off of you once. He looked like he was ready to fall to his knees.”

You laughed at the boyfriend comment, but looked to where Seonghwa was sitting. He was already smiling at you, and gave you a thumbs up. You couldn't help but blush.

Hongjoong teases Seonghwa, “Did you really just give her a thumbs up?”

Seonghwa whines, “Stop, I panicked okay?!”

They both laugh together at Seonghwa’s unusual behavior.

Nari and Emma are figuring out who’s riding in the cars, and who’s taking the train.

“Damn it, we’re one person off. We could’ve all been in the SUVs, but we have one too many,” Emma says.

You take that as a sign, “That’s okay! I’ll just go back to the hotel, I’m really tired so I don’t mind at all. That way you all can ride together!”

Emma gives you a dirty look, while trying to figure out an alternative that doesn’t include you missing the after party.

“Oh Seonghwa!” Emma says.

You turn and Seonghwa comes up to your group.

“Are you all headed to the after party?” He asks the group, even though he is only looking at you.

Y/n responds, “Ah well we have one too many so I’m just going to head back to the hotel! That way everyone else can ride together.”

He fixes your strap…again and says, “Ride with me?”

Your eyes widen at the offer, “Oh I don’t want to inconvenience you, or get you in trouble.”

Seonghwa laughs, “I’m 33 years old, who am I going to be in trouble with? Besides, I really wanted you to come. It’s not an inconvenience.”

You think about it and ask, “But what if your fans see a random woman leaving with you? Wouldn’t that be a problem?”

He lifts your chin so you meet his eyes, and puts his hand back down, “Why would that be a problem?”

At this point your cheeks are red, “I-I just thought you had to be really careful who you’re seen with.”

Seonghwa smiles, “Nah, not anymore at least. Atiny knows we are grown men. Besides, I don’t think it would be that crazy if we were seen together. You made a really big donation to my hometown, articles are already being written. If anything, people will think we’ve become friends after your generous donation.”

You try to ignore the fact that articles were being written about your donation. You weren’t expecting all this attention. You decide to take a leap.

“Okay. I’ll ride with you,” You say to Seonghwa.

He smiles brightly, “Great.”

“Are you two done now? As much as I love the flirting going on, y/n is still my sister and it makes me want to barf,” Emma says with her hands on her hips.

You lightly smack her arm and whine, “Why do you have to make everything weird?!”

Emma laughs, “I’ll see you at the after party okay?” She looks at Seonghwa, “Look I know you’re my bias and everything, but y/n is my sister. You better make sure she gets there safely.”

You smile at your sister and Seonghwa places his hand on her shoulder, “You have my word. She’s safe with me.”

Emma nods and Nari is smirking at the two of you. They leave with the group, and a part of you is internally screaming. You look at Seonghwa to find he’s already looking at you. He nods his head to the direction you need to go, gently grabs your hand, and leads you through the crowd of people. After stopping multiple times for Seonghwa to say bye to people who attended, you finally make it to the back of the building.

You see the line of black SUVs just waiting for you. What you weren’t expecting were the lines of cameras that were also waiting for you.

Seonghwa says, “We just need to wait for my manager, and then we can head out.”

You smile and nod, your conversation interrupted.

“Well well well. What do we have here, Seonghwa?” Wooyoung says with a smirk.

Seonghwa rolls his eyes, “The staff SUVs were full.”

Wooyoung not fully convinced, “Ah. Got it. Well I’m Wooyoung! I’ve heard all about you tonight.”

You smile at him, “Hopefully nothing bad. I’m y/n, it’s great to meet you!”

“There you are! I was looking for you Woo- oh hey! You’re the girl Seonghwa won’t shut up about!” San says with a big smile.

You and Seonghwa look at each other and laugh awkwardly.

You save Seonghwa from having to respond, “Hi San! I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you!”

After a few minutes, the topic of you and Seonghwa has finally died down. The boys talked about the night, and how happy they were with the turn out. Seonghwa gets the okay from his manager, and now you are about to go to the car.

Seonghwa looks at you, “I apologize for the cameras. Will you be okay?”

You smile, “Yeah! Don’t worry about me.”

Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung go out first. Hoping the paparazzi focus their cameras mainly on them. You’re able to sneak behind them without it being too much of a spectacle. You wait by the cars for them to be done with the cameras. You weren’t sure which car to get in.

They’re walking away from the cameras, and Seonghwa waves you over to the right car. He opens the door for you, and you both get in. It’s just you, Seonghwa, and the driver.

“I hope that wasn’t too terrible,” He says.

You shake your head, “Not at all! It ended up being super easy.”

Seonghwa chuckles, “Good. I want you to be comfortable.”

You blush and respond, “I really am okay. You don’t have to worry. I actually feel bad, because you��re doing too much for me!”

Seonghwa looks into your eyes and asks, “Have I not been clear about my intentions?”

You nearly gulp at the question. There’s just no fucking way this is happening right now. As you are internally panicking, Seonghwa presses the partition button. Now it’s just you and him.

You ask quietly, “What do you mean?”

Seonghwa fixes your strap…again but this time his hand lingers, “I am very attracted to you, y/n. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you all night. I have this feeling, that maybe you feel the same way about me.” You are swimming in his big brown eyes, probably the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. He continues, “Can we see where the night goes, together?”

#ateez fanfic #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x you #seonghwa x y/n #ateez hongjoong #ateez wooyoung #ateez san #fluff #suggestive #kpop

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